#it wasn’t Basil’s fault

[everythingdestroyingme]

Will never be over how Basil was just concerned for his friend. He just wanted what was best for him. And even when shown the epitome of Dorian’s soul, and forced to face the monstrosity of the painting, all he could think to do was point out all the places Dorian was still himself.

[blissfulip]

Dopamine

On AO3

Viktor x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

Tags: enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, dubious science, mostly canon compliant, no use of y/n, chemist!reader, eventual smut.

Cw: That weird guy being weird

Words: 1.6k

[A/N: tags and content warnings to be updated in each chapter, updates weekly. (also, let me know if you want to be tagged in fic updates!)]

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Chapter 2: Walking through water

He slept in for the first time in over a year, and although catching up on all those missed z’s was a welcome feeling, as soon as he woke up and sat at his desk, the uneasiness of not knowing what to do rushed over him.

Walking through water instead of air, the feeling of resistance that accompanied every task Viktor worked on drove him up the wall. It was bad enough that he had no access to any of his equipment, but he was also not allowed to retrieve any of his annotations from the lab to take home, so he was left with a pair of notebooks and some blueprints he had in his briefcase. It wasn't enough. 

Resignation. He was usually capable of extracting even the smallest things from thin air, but the circumstances and the maddening lack of resources had finally gotten the better of him. Before long, he felt the onset of something he hadn’t experienced in years: boredom. The invitation of his brain to play, desperate for stimulation. But Viktor was lost, this wasn’t something typical of him, and he didn’t know how to quench this thirst. 

He rummaged around the few volumes he had on his desk—nothing he hadn’t read at length before. Cleaning was quick and fruitless, it turns out that not spending any time in your own home proved to be the best way to keep it clean and organized. And of course, the fridge was empty, he didn’t remember the last time he ate a meal in that kitchen, let alone made one, but at least this need for sustenance could be turned into an assignment, so off to the market he went. 

It was sunny out. Not scorching, but pleasant enough to make this short walk enjoyable. The bubbling sounds of children running around, two people fighting near the fruit stalls, and vendors trying to talk over each other, the citric scent that turned into earthy basil that turned into peppery spices almost overwhelmingly fast—it was nice, he thought, and he lazily dragged his feet along the market, lingering a bit too long before walking back to the dormitories with what he needed.  

Cooking was surprisingly enjoyable as well, and he tried (unsuccessfully) to find a justifiable reason as to why he didn’t do it more often. Soon enough, the meal was finished, the food eaten and the dishes done, and the gentle feeling of rich accomplishment he had felt so far melted away when he found himself bored stiff.

And when he accepted that this problem had no solution, his mind landed on you, the culprit. He recalled all the previous instances in which you had interfered with his work before, like the time you had burned your eyebrows off with some strange flammable substance and had the progress day presentations postponed, and the time you had used all the magnesium alloys for an (excessively scaled, he thought) ‘experiment’ and left him without any for the pieces he was manufacturing, or the time the first hextech intern he ever hired had a complete meltdown over you rejecting him and had to be transferred. Granted, that last one wasn’t your fault, and Viktor never really held it against you, but it was just another case in point to prove that if something was related to you, it would probably be a problem for him. 

When memoirs are written about exceptional minds in history, there’s always something about all the trials and tribulations they had to endure—the obstacles on their way to greatness. And it’s not like Viktor thought he would ever get something like that written about him, but if he did, if he ever invented something revolutionary enough to warrant something like a memoir, it pained him to think that there would probably need to be a whole chapter about the pesky chemist that constantly tormented him. 

Even when he wasn’t working, you were there, a constant. Your thunderous laugh and the clicking sound you always made when you were in deep thought, your sarcastic remarks and the eternal self-satisfied grin you carried. Viktor found himself thinking about that way too often. 

-----------------------------------------------------------

The notification on your door to be present at the conference hall the next morning ruined your mood. You had been having quite the day off and were already making plans to get back to reading all the poetry books you had bought at the fair last summer, so the sudden promise of work had you deflating like a balloon. 

You noticed that the hall was packed, and that it probably wasnt equipped to host the entire roster of researchers the Academy had. You tried to distract yourself from the claustrophobic feeling brewing in your stomach by chatting with Moira about the crazy date she'd had the night before. Unfortunately, you were not going to get to the best part, since Heimerdinger came up and tapped the microphone lightly before she could talk about the guy's bad table manners.

"Attention, please, everybody! There, quiet down, please. Yes, thank you.” He started. “I’m sure you might all be wondering why I have gathered you here, and I am happy to announce I have great news to give you!”

Murmurs could be heard from various places along the hall.

“As you all know, the Academy had to make the difficult decision to close the laboratories temporarily due to the recent explosion at the manufacturing facilities. We know how distressed and impatient you must be to go back to your work and how frustrating the prospect of an entire month of idleness feels to brilliant people like you all,” he paused, seemingly for effect. “Thus, the Academy has decided to organize a seminar with some of our brightest minds at each of our research divisions, which will take place at the conclusion of this month-long absence of activity.” 

The quiet muttering gradually became a cacophony of confused exclamations and flat-out grunts of annoyance, but after people started to quiet down again, he continued.

“Everyone will be required to attend, but only one person per department is to be voted internally, both to be involved as an organizer and as a speaker. I shall leave you to it now, and expect a list of the chosen people at my desk by the end of the day, as well as one update at the end of each week leading to the date of the event. Good luck, my dears!” 

With that, he jumped off the platform he had been standing on to reach the microphone and left the room, ignoring any and all clamors of bewilderment. After some minutes of complaining, though, the people from each department begrudgingly got together to get the voting over with. Some of them chose randomly, others put it up to an actual vote and chose the person everyone thought was a better speaker, and others had volunteers. To your dismay, you were chosen to speak on behalf of the chemistry department. And, not surprisingly, Viktor volunteered on his end. 

No more than 30 minutes later, everyone else had left, except for the chosen people. A man from Biology you weren’t familiar with, Lara from Arts and Performance, a lovely older lady from History and Anthropology, Corso from Language and Literature, that weird guy from Poli-sci, Viktor, and you

The morale was not up the walls, even though you were all happy to have something to do, having to organize an entire workshop conference as well as the presentation each one of you had to give felt like more work than you would normally do at your respective labs. Not to mention, you knew this was nothing more than a copout for the academy, throwing this at you so that you didn’t get any free time without them having to get involved in any organizing themselves. 

Regardless, after a short talk, you decided to split into three groups. One would be in charge of the scheduling and agenda; the second would take care of the venues; and the last would take care of advertising, leaving Lara to design and print the flyers and posters. 

“Let’s team up, sweetheart, I know this amazing place downtown where we can organize everything.” You came to learn that his name was Asher, and you thought that name was not fit for how much of a sleaze he was.  

“Oh, I’m sorry, but I’m banned from that part of the city. I caused a three-way collision between 2 horses and an electric bike; there were no casualties, but I can’t be within a 3-mile radius of there.” You said with a deadpan expression. 

“What? Seriously?” He asked. Everyone else was either completely confused or mildly horrified, but Viktor knew you well enough to let out a small huff. 

“Of course not.” You chuckled and then picked up one of the folded-up pieces of paper Lara had been writing on for everyone to draw a name from. 

It was your turn to be horrified when you unfolded the paper and read Viktor’s name on it. After the initial shock wore off, however, you could’ve sworn you felt something akin to relief. Perhaps it was due to being saved from having to go with Asher, or maybe it was because Viktor was the only person there that you knew, even if you didn’t get along. 

But as it usually happens, any positive sentiment you ever harbored towards him came to a halt as swiftly as it came, when you heard him grunt in displeasure. You weren’t in the mood to throw any jibes at him in front of everyone, so you simply rolled your eyes. 

“1:00 p.m. tomorrow at the café near the night market. Bring a notebook, I left all of mine at the lab.” You said not bothering to look up at him as you gathered your things to leave the hall. 

You interpreted his silence as agreement. 

[andrewwtca]

the Aubrey problem (or how Omori's writing failed her)

Also available to read on Archive of our Own.

I really like video games. If the fanfiction, theory posts, and occasional essays weren’t enough, here’s me saying it—I really like video games! They’re a conversation between writing, art, music, and human interaction, between the player, the game, and the characters in them. Of course, not all games have all of that, some being only text-based, some being lifeless wastelands, but whatever they end up choosing to work with, they often do something amazing.

Sunny is one of my favorite protagonists in any realm of media—video game, movie, book—and he genuinely changed the way I view the world. Not just him, but the entire world built around him, Headspace and its charming inhabitants and the wondrous sights and music, the creative bosses that leave so much insight, the beautiful overworld that is Faraway and a nostalgic look into what we leave behind, and what we return to.

So that’s why I’m so disappointed I don’t like Aubrey.

This game blew my mind away when I first saw it—my first experience with the game wasn’t even my own playthrough, but sitting through a 20-hour longplay!—and I lost so many hours of sleep twisting and turning and trying to make peace with the grief it left me feeling. And after finishing, I realized that its flaws were plenty, but not enough to drag me out of my enjoyment. But Aubrey? Aubrey didn’t make me feel the way I knew she was supposed to.

That frustrated me, especially as I became a bigger and bigger fan of the game. I had no qualms about liking her archetype, the feminine bully with a tragic backstory, and yet I do with her.

As someone who craves literary analysis and in-depth looks into every media I consume, I just needed to know: what made me dislike Aubrey?

And after over two years of being a fan of the game, I’ve finally figured it out: it’s a good mixture of 1) lack of explanation, 2) rushed self-awareness, and 3) lackluster narrative choices. And I’ve found the words I needed to explain these concepts, so please join me on my messy journey to understanding what went wrong with Aubrey.

preface

If you’re an Aubrey apologist, this essay is not for you. I’ve heard plenty of arguments about why Aubrey was actually in the right, not limited to “Basil deserved it,” and, “Aubrey was hurting too,” so I’d like to begin by stating that Aubrey was a bully very clearly.

Rejecting the notion that she actively harmed others is rejecting a core component of understanding her character. Before we dive into her character and how the writing failed her character arc, I would like us all to be on the same page: she physically, verbally, and socially bullied Basil. It was not Basil’s fault, and it will never be a victim’s fault to get bullied. She is not the victim of her own crime, just like how Sunny is not the victim of Mari’s death, and Basil is not the victim of Mari’s hanging. We, as the player, are to recognize their responsibilities in their actions. The same must be extended to Aubrey.

Some people feel the need to deny this aspect of her character to justify her actions and/or justify liking her. Firstly, the purpose of this essay isn’t to villainize anyone for liking Aubrey. I’m simply analyzing what was attempted with her character and why it didn’t strike a chord with me and so many others. Secondly, as Kel wisely said, “Just because you did something bad, doesn't make you a bad person.” I’m not here to say that Aubrey is a bad person—no, nobody in Omori is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and labeling characters as such is taking away the nuance they possess. And I’m certainly not saying liking a character who did something bad makes you bad, either!

Liking Aubrey is in no way a problem (which makes me a tad bit sad that I need to clarify), and I’ll even go as far as to say kudos to you, but if you bend and twist to stop her from holding any responsibility for her actions, that’s when problems arise. Basil is a fictional character and won’t care if you think it was his fault he was bullied, but for the people around you who may have been in similar positions to him?

And lastly, I want to say that if you cite sexism as the reason people don’t like Aubrey… actually, this is the perfect transition into the analysis.

gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Femme bullies are not a new phenomenon. Perhaps it’s the break from the stereotypical sweet feminine girl that makes them so fascinating, using their femininity to not sing to animals or wish for a man, but pull down others and advance their status.

I, for one, adore the femme bully trope. Especially if they’re one who used to be extremely kind and underwent some sort of ‘fall from grace’ that led to a bastardization. But, as for all bullies, if they are left without a proper backstory and motivation, I’m turned off from them. Most humans are not mean just because they can be but rather are products of how they were raised. When these causes are ignored, the trope falls flat, and instead of being a good reconstruction, it’s a flat stereotype.

The best way to analyze this is by comparing Aubrey’s character to good examples of femme bullies in the past. Specifically, I’m picking my favorites: Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion, Nanami from Revolutionary Girl Utena, and Sophie from The School for Good and Evil. I’m going to do a quick (and a bit sarcastic) overview of their characters in their respective media, but a quick warning for suicide in Asuka’s overview, and animal cruelty in Nanami’s.

Asuka is a pilot for one of the mechas, the Evangelion, and she always thought of herself as better than everyone. Well, of course, she would: she studied hard, worked harder than everyone around her, and she’s just naturally talented. And yet, she’s still always threatened by others and how they can ruin her status. Specifically, for the course of the show, she targets Shinji—he’s this nobody from nowhere who could suddenly pilot an Eva, while she had to fight her whole life to get here! How is that fair? And what has that asshole been through anyway? Did he have to see his mother’s corpse after she committed suicide as a small child? Did he fight for his mother’s love his entire life just for her to kill herself? Does he have to fight for male attention just so he isn’t thrown aside? No, of course not! So how is any of it fair?

Nanami is the sister to the wonderful student body president Touga, and she wants nothing more than his attention. And with her being the youngest of the cast, one cannot be mad at her for not understanding the severity of violence and finality of death, so her anger as a small child with a kitten whom Touga adored is also understandable. One simply cannot be mad at her for drowning it. So, of course, you cannot blame her for wanting to punish the ever-elusive Anthy and Utena, who Touga has become fixated on. What does Anthy or Utena have that Nanami doesn’t? They’re stupid girls, not Touga’s sister. No matter what, Nanami is going to win her brother’s affection (and in her pursuit, ignore how horribly he’s been manipulating her the entire time).

And Sophie is the Witch of Woods Beyond, capable of powerful spells beyond the imagination, from a place that few know of. And she wants nothing more than for her own fairy-tale ending—why do all the princesses around her get princes and castles and beautiful dresses, and she’s doomed to being hideous and alone for the rest of her life? Who decided that for her? She’s beautiful, after all, so she should be a princess! It doesn’t matter who stands in the way of her happily ever after; especially not if it’s Agatha, her lifelong best friend. No matter what, Sophie will not end up like her mother who died all alone, with her husband forgetting her and moving on. Sophie will be loved, no matter who she has to hurt.

What do they all have in common? Firstly, they’re all girls. As stated, femme bullies are different from masc bullies, especially as they reveal aspects of femininity and womanhood in general that many people—see, a male audience—will neglect to face, and overall uncover sexism that's still present in both media and society. Secondly, they’re all bullies, and they targeted someone in particular who they saw as detrimental to their happiness. And thirdly, they all had specific upbringings that conditioned them to have their ‘falls from grace’. What is this third, unidentified thing?

Mommy issues!

(Sorry, I know Nanami technically has a brother complex, but I just wanted to say mommy issues.)

A pattern has been developed with all of these girls. They all start fairly, what one can call, ‘feminine’ or at least, per standard stereotypes. They’re gentle and sweet and shine when needed. And they all have a ‘fall from grace’—a moment, or sequence of moments, that leads them to reject traditional femininity and embrace a more vengeful version of it. And a final moment, where they are faced with their opposite, who represents all that they do not have.

Asuka was sweet and kind and bubbly until her mother killed herself. After that, she dedicated herself to her studies and getting adult male attention through means of the over-sexualization of herself. And then, she began to bully Shinji.

Sophie was sweet and kind and bright until her mother died. After that, she idolized her mother’s false display of femininity and became obsessed with becoming a princess. And then, at the School for Evil, she began to bully Agatha.

Nanami was assumedly sweet—she deviates from this pattern slightly, being built off assumptions of a good past rather than showcases—until she was brought into this family and became obsessed with her brother and was manipulated by him. After that, she became desperate for his attention, fighting any other who could take it. And then, she began to bully Utena (and Anthy.)

While Nanami does deviate from this pattern, they all have clear origins. They were not bullies from the start. As aforementioned, in the face of an adversary, the majority of people do not turn to hurting one another. Something in their pasts, their ‘falls from grace’, was the foundation of their actions, what led them to believe what they were doing was okay. It’s not justification—it's a much-needed explanation. After all, if you do not understand, how can you empathize?

Still, you may fail to see my point. The game has lots of hints of Aubrey’s troubled upbringing. And that’s exactly what the problem is. These girls have clear origins while Aubrey’s is muddled.

Of course, I don’t expect Omori to have spoon-fed me details of her past. You can put the pieces together by walking through her home and seeing bottles laid on the ground. But, even in a game dependent on nuance and having the player put certain things together, it’s better to leave things out directly rather than to work a way around.

To build up a good femme bully, we need a good origin story. What happened to her that made her turn to violence? Why should we care? We know Aubrey probably had a troubled childhood. But the game doesn’t supply enough. It leaves too much to fill in the blanks. I know that Asuka saw her mother’s corpse, I know that Sophie was forced into a misogynistic viewpoint upon her mother’s death, and I know that Nanami was manipulated to hell and back. I know what these girls have been through so I know why they ended up walking their paths.

But the game simply doesn’t reveal enough about Aubrey. Fan speculation is not enough. Canon interpretation should not be confused with fan interpretation—according to the fans, Aubrey’s father is a deadbeat, and her mother is an abusive, neglectful alcoholic. According to the game? Aubrey’s dad is “strict”, and her house is an absolute disaster. The house is one of the biggest clues as to Aubrey’s childhood, and while some may praise this as ‘showing and not telling’, the game never tries to make workarounds for the other characters (which I will dig deeper into later). I can assume what happened in her house but it’s not my job to find ways to empathize with the character; that is the story’s job.

This is the first of Omori’s three sins and we haven’t even scratched the surface.

actions speak more than words, or something like that

I recently saw a post that I thought would make a good intro for this section. It’s an apologist post for Aubrey, discussing how the game did treat her with just enough harshness—that because she’s been beating herself up, because she’s suffered a public breakdown, because it took kindness to help her heal, it’s proof of her regret. There’s some good Basil blaming in there too, with a strange turn saying that she refused to leave Basil’s house because of her willingness to turn over a new leaf. And it ends with a weird claim that she was a “good person all along,” (implying an argument otherwise), but I’m not here to rat on that post.

Despite how frustrated the post made me, I am inclined to agree. It’s black-and-white to state that Aubrey didn’t change at all. If you compare her first Faraway appearance to her final scenes, she’s a completely different person. Which would've been nice if the change didn’t take two scenes.

Much like how I compared Aubrey’s backstory to that of other femme bullies, I’m going to compare Aubrey’s redemption to that of my favorite redemption story in all of media: Riku from Kingdom Hearts (the fact that I’m so in touch with his story may also explain some of my disappointment with Aubrey’s).

Riku starts off his journey on Destiny Islands. He’s always wondered what lies beyond his small home and dreamed of taking a sailboat with his best friends, Sora and Kairi. However, jealousy is an awful thing—Sora and Kairi are close. And it seems that Riku has been hearing about how they’re thinking of leaving him behind. So, he does what any teenager dealing with larger-than-life feelings does: he gives in to the magical Darkness and effectively kills everyone on the islands, separating him, Sora, and Kairi (don’t worry—everyone comes back.)

By the end of the game, he’s come to his senses, but it takes a lot of time. He fights with Sora a lot because he just knows, deep down, that he’s right and Sora is wrong, and if Sora would just listen…but no. Sora keeps abandoning him. So he has to work through that and all the feelings that accompany those abandonment issues, he has to work through the question of “What is even making me want to kill my best friend, anyway?”, and he has to work through “Wait…can I kill my best friend?” So, it takes a lot of time for him to get to his senses.

And then, he goes through hell. Literally and metaphorically. He dedicates himself wholly to making up for what he did. How? Well, he first identifies what he did wrong—he separated from his friends, he gave in to his jealousy, and he submerged his home in Darkness. He apologizes for it directly—although he doesn’t have a chance to speak with Sora right away, he's constantly apologizing for the fact that he gave in to the Darkness, so much that it became a running gag to some fans. He put up distance—he didn’t feel like he was owed forgiveness right away (or at all, but that’s a different matter) and didn’t stick at Sora’s side to wait for his best friend to forgive him. He worked hard to show that he’s changed—it would be a much longer essay if I attempted to explain the lengths he went through, but it’s not limited to allowing himself to be possessed, going to literal Hell, forcing himself into isolation, and enduring multiple handicapping injuries.

Long story short? He really, really tries to make it up to Sora. And when he and Sora finally talk (it took three years in real life, took perhaps a year in the game), Sora doesn’t even hesitate to forgive his friend…though it may be in part to Sora just being Sora. Nevertheless, Riku had earned that forgiveness.

And then, after that, Riku continues to give himself hell! He never stops to sweep what he did under the rug. It’s a part of him, after all, an ugly past but his past nonetheless. It does not define him but it cannot be forgotten, otherwise, he hasn't learned anything at all.

Deep breath. We talked a lot about Kingdom Hearts in an Omori essay. But it’s important to understand the sheer depth put into his redemption: identification, distance, and work.

What’s most frustrating about Aubrey’s arc is that fragments of this good writing exist, but that’s what they are: fragments. I would like it to be stated for the record that everything I explained for Riku’s arc wasn’t me creating speculation based on what the games said. It’s what the games literally came out and said. Aubrey however…

Identification—she apologizes to Sunny, Kel, and Hero by saying “I’m sorry, guys… I’ve been acting like such a jerk.” While I may give her grief for the usage of the word ‘jerk’ when perhaps a stronger, more evocative term would’ve done a better job, it’s certainly better than what she said in front of Basil’s door: "I just wanted to say that… I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you.” Completely separating herself from the issue at hand. 

Distance—none. She's immediately reintroduced to her old friend group, at a rate that ended up giving me whiplash the first time around. The question, “What about the Hooligans?” is never brought up, and things are back to how they always were, with no problems at all.

Work—Aubrey stayed the night at Basil’s house, wanting to make sure he was safe. To which, if you end up getting the neutral ending, you get the most insightful message of Aubrey’s arc (which is technically non-canon): “I'm so sorry, Basil. Please forgive me…” If getting the good or bad ending, her staying the night meant literally nothing, as Sunny’s fight took the reins.

These are fragments of a character arc. These are fragments of good characterization. While I praise Omori for how often it appears realistic, this kind of exponential growth simply isn’t. In what world, does someone who’s been bullying someone for four years, take less than two days to realize she’s been a bully and decide to change the entire course of her life?

While I could rat on Aubrey, this isn’t her problem. This is the game misreading what makes a good redemption. Redemption means work. It means effort. It is not a character simply changing their ways. Those characters feel cheap and empty—there’s a reason, after all, why the majority of fans always characterize Aubrey as the mean girl she’s shown to be when she first appeared in fan works. It’s because the ‘new’ Aubrey, the Aubrey buried under layers of hurt, hasn’t earned the right to exist.

The Riku I love in Kingdom Hearts III has earned the right to be angsty and gay and happy and his new self because he’s put in 17 years' worth of effort to become that person. It’s beautiful, it’s inspiring, it’s hopeful—you can make a mistake and go past it. It doesn’t define you. You can be forgiven. You can have hurt and have been hurt and still be worthy of love and loving.

The Aubrey at the end of Omori has not earned the right to be there, simply put. She’s the product of lazy, or ignorant writing, and it feels harsh to type out, but there’s no other way to describe it. Her self-awareness happened too quickly. She passes by Sunny’s house every day, sees Kel playing basketball every day, and could freely visit Mari’s grave whenever she wants—there were four years for her to change who she was. If Kel wasn’t able to give up his toxic positivity until the bitter end of the neutral ending, it’s quite hard to believe that a few hours of just talking made her change her ways. Especially considering that the Hooligans were characterized as her new, accepting friends, who love her and hear her out.

And again, the best fragment of an arc that could’ve been appears in the neutral ending! While it was not directly Aubrey’s actions that led Basil to take his life, it’s very impactful to see her begin to blame herself. It’s not right for her to blame herself—but that’s perhaps the only scene in the entire game where I really sympathized with her. It’s the only scene in the entire game where I truly saw that she wanted to change.

A quick note I wanted to pull out before finishing: the inclusion of the Hooligans. They were, again, fragments of an amazing arc. While they could’ve been a good way to show how kind Aubrey still is, they are thrown aside and mainly included in scenes where Aubrey is still being a bully. It’s in content outside of the game (see: Aubrey birthday comic) that they contrast Aubrey’s harsh exterior and show her sweet insides. But no, they’re underdeveloped and unutilized to make Aubrey’s arc feel doable.

There seems to be a very clear culprit to both this and the femme bully problem, and a solution that should’ve been considered more deeply.

rome wasn’t built in a day

There’s a loud rumor in the Omori fandom that Omori was originally supposed to take place over ten days rather than three days. While I’m not sure how much merit this rumor has, the fact that it exists leads me to my ultimate point:

Omori should’ve been longer.

Specifically, Omori should’ve taken place over a longer period.

EDIT: Before we continue, I just had an excellent conversation with a friend ( /ᐠ ._. ᐟ\ﾉ ). This solution only applies to if one is unwilling to change Aubrey's core character; essentially, the extent of her bullying. By making her someone who goes out of her way to torment Basil, significant screen time is going to be needed to properly unpack all that's been given. Making the base game ten days is only my opinion of the best choice, but there are other ways to solve this. However, the best course of action would be to change the extent of Aubrey's bullying on Basil—in other words, changing how Aubrey's anger presents itself.

For example, she would simply hold a grudge over what she believed was Basil destroying the photos, being extremely passive aggressive towards him. It would make a reconciliation between her and Basil, much, much more doable as well, perhaps him seeking her out in the first place in a peaceful manner to look for the photos. The lake scene could be an emotional explosion for her, perhaps finding out Basil just gave the photo album to Sunny, who is literally about to leave, and then pushes him into the lake. Then, the reflection she has next would fit what has tonally been established, seeming doable. She had, after all, been on good terms with Basil, even if for a little while.

By ‘lackluster narrative choices’, I am referring literally to the belief that Omori should not have been a game that took place in three days. I’m not here to argue about the game's mechanics—should Headspace have been that long? What is the point of a world created to serve as escapism, which should be fleeting moments of happiness, when it ends up being longer than the real world?—as much as I’m here to argue that this is a flaw of the game’s writing as opposed to a game design standpoint.

I’m not going to pretend I know how to make a video game. I’m enthusiastic about them, I follow their development and creation, and I strive to learn as much as I can about the ones that are dear to me, but I’m not going to pretend I know the first thing about making a video game. Omori’s development is one of the most infamous parts of its legacy, and the notion of extending the game would’ve only been another strain on the extended period between its announcement and its final release.

But, I know how to tell a story. Or, at the very least, I know what makes a good story. Now, the three days format of the game serves its other protagonists amazingly.

Sunny, whose arc mainly develops through the interfering ideas established in the real world and the ones previously established in Headspace, doesn’t need an extended time in the real world. His story takes place in his dreams, and the foundations of Headspace are already extremely insecure, based on the idea of covering up the truth. But when faced with a separate truth in reality, despite only a brief exposure, the lies created to protect Headspace fall apart. So Sunny’s arc does not depend on how long he spent in the real world.

Kel and Hero, on the other hand, have a very small arc. They are not flat and are very much dynamic when you compare how they started and how they ended up. However, the majority of their arc had taken place off-screen. The majority of their characterization does not occur through direct interaction with Sunny—we don’t learn about Hero’s depression because of him having a breakdown, but rather Kel discussing it. And in that same scene, we learn about Kel’s toxic positivity and the strain it’s taking on him, rather than through the game. This recontextualization is perfect for Kel and Hero. The change that occurred after Mari’s death is not easily seen by Sunny, and through it being slowly revealed instead, we learn the nature of their changes. Nonetheless, their changes occurred after Mari’s death and another change will occur most likely after the revelation of the truth—either way, their character arcs do not depend on the length of the three days. No amount of time would’ve changed them without Sunny revealing the truth (and as aforementioned, Sunny’s time was well spent in Headspace).

And finally, Basil. He's in the same boat as Kel and Hero, having an arc that occurs entirely off-screen. The difference is, however, the amount of emphasis the game puts on what happened to him as opposed to a few cutscenes with the brothers (though it is understandable, given his role as the game’s deuteragonist). His arc is a downward spiral, from an already unstable boy to an insecure mess who becomes obsessed with the sole idea of keeping his best friend safe. While it’s a progression of who he used to be, it’s development nonetheless, and it also happens off-screen. Given Basil’s fragile mindset, furthermore, the appearance of Sunny suddenly was enough to throw him off, given he was already planning on taking his own life. His rapid spiral into an even worse mess which leads to the fight between him and Sunny, therefore, is understandable. And, similarly to Kel and Hero, his real change will only occur after Sunny reveals the truth. Basil’s character development does not at all depend on how long the game would be.

The simple fact is that the other characters do not go through a drastic change on the days that Sunny comes out, and Sunny’s change was fueled by the existence of Headspace, not by the real world. The game taking place in three days does not affect the others. That is good storytelling. Using the game’s time frame to properly convey their arcs having occurred off-screen.

Aubrey, however, is not subject to that same praise. Her arc occurs on screen—while she descended to becoming a bully after Mari’s death, the arc we the viewer are supposed to acknowledge is her redemption. And three days just isn’t enough time.

The last two problems I covered, a lack of detailed backstory and a general lack of redeeming actions, lie in the same problem: the game went past those scenes far too quickly, as though Aubrey’s redemption is not essential to understanding her. It’s as though the game is trying to place importance on relationships and the joys of rekindling, rather than having to actually rekindle a relationship, having to put in the work. If the game had been slightly longer, Aubrey’s story could’ve been dealt with in a far more effective manner.

I am not Omocat, nor am I a part of the development team. I do not have the ideal solution for what could’ve been. I do, however, have a few ideas that I’d like you, my audience, to consider. How much do you think the game would’ve changed if it was ten days instead of three?

As already explained, Sunny, Kel, Hero, and Basil would not have had any significant difference if the game took place longer. Perhaps, there would’ve been a more natural awkwardness present that accompanies talking to someone for the first time in four years, but aside from that, the events of the game would’ve just taken longer.

Aubrey, however, would’ve had some actual thinking time. Her fight in the church would be her turning point, and her then isolation would feel like she had time to think things over. For a few days, Aubrey would have to be absent, and given the impression she left on the players, this absence would be heavily felt. It would be her return so much more effective, especially if she returns as someone who is unsteady due to their actions.

For the next few days, leading up to Aubrey deciding to stay the night at Basil’s house, we have the chance to know and forgive her better—perhaps, similar to Kel talking to Sunny about Hero’s depression, Aubrey can explain what it was like growing up in her household. Not as a defense, but as an explanation. She would do things with the rest of the group, and she would at a more natural rate, be integrated once again. And not just anything! She would actively help them with whatever the ten days would have to offer, and it would show that she is hurting over her actions.

And, finally, when she would decide to stay at Basil’s house, it wouldn’t feel like the game was just trying to have the cast together for one last moment, but it would feel like she’s trying to bridge the gap of all the hurt she created. When she would go to Basil’s door, it wouldn’t feel like the game was just trying to convince us to forget about her actions, but it would feel like she’s reflected and attempted a new leaf. And hopefully, the game would offer a more heartfelt apology, given more context and material to work with.

Four years of bullying can’t go away in ten days. But that’s not what the game was trying to argue in the first place—it wasn’t fully erasing Aubrey’s action, but trying to create the stepping stone for a way back. But the three days poorly argued her case, with a rushed and lacking version of redemption, and it made her ‘final character’ feel poor.

At the very least, ten days would have allowed the audience to empathize and begin to understand her. And, more importantly, it would’ve made sense that she understood the weight of her actions. And the Aubrey she became, whoever that girl would be?

She would’ve been so, so loved.

a little love in our lives

This has been on my mind for an awful lot of time. Sunny, as aforementioned, is one of my favorite characters of all time (if not my favorite), but the entire cast has a spot in my heart and is very dear to me. That includes Aubrey, but she benefits from association, which hurts me—I hate when girls in media are defined by their relationships with other guys. I wanted to get to the heart of why I couldn’t get her to stand on her own.

To summarize: Aubrey’s character was criminally mismanaged. Instead of it being a hopeful story of redemption, someone finally breaking the cycle of abuse and breaking free of her toxic household, seeking forgiveness by taking an active part in Basil’s healing, she is let off too quickly and makes all her further scenes feel twice as empty. The ideal solution would have been to have the game take place over a larger period, rather than a rushed three days, to allow the audience to empathize and relate to her.

Aubrey apologists truly astound me. I find so many flaws in her writing, and yet other people manage to see those flaws as perfections. I see people making very absurd, ableist arguments, and it makes me question the humanity of many fans, but I’ve always been intrigued by how many different perspectives there are surrounding her. I’ve seen some who relate to her because they were bullies or because they’ve been abandoned by others; so some valid reasons, and others very concerning. But it’s telling how our own experiences make us relate to different characters and help us understand why someone stands in the places they do.

…do you see what I did there? I started talking about relating backgrounds and how that benefits our understanding and— yeah, I suppose you understand, if you got this far (almost 6k words, you should be proud of yourself). If you’re still unfazed and believe that Aubrey’s writing was splendid, all the power to your fannish behaviors. But if I’ve opened your eyes a bit as to the flaws in her writing or if I’ve been able to explain your dislike of her, then I’m glad. It’s important to discuss things that didn’t stick the way they were meant to so that we can do better and we can learn.

Omori’s writing failed Aubrey. Some fans took that as a challenge. I’ve said before that canon interpretation should be separate from fanon interpretation, but I’d have to be heartless (Kingdom Hearts pun intended) to say that many fan’s interpretations didn’t get me to feel with her. I think Aubrey could’ve been brilliant, and while Omori didn’t fully capture that, a lot of fans did. So to everyone who makes art, whether it’s a drawing, a written work, a video, a song, an edit, or whatever, thank you for sharing it. Thank you for telling your stories.

I feel like writing these analysis pieces without connecting them to our own life experiences is pointless. So, to everyone else, please tell your stories. Tell your stories of redemption and love and forgiveness, because that’s what Aubrey’s story was meant to be about, and that’s what we all need in this world. Tell your stories, no matter what they are, because that is what ties us all together. We are made of stories and we return to them. We learn from them and we become better people. We become kinder—and we could all use a little more kindness in the world.

Thanks for reading!

[dannybobany]

It’s great that Basil is so loving and forgiving because in the end both he and Sunny were innocent and what happened wasn’t anyone’s fault

That’s great and all. I would have been SO fucking pissed if I was Basil though it would have been on sight that boy would not have the chance to oyasumi himself I would get to him first he would be so dead so fast like- like SAY HI TO MARI FOR ME!!!!!

Is my best friend for years I COVER UP HIS ACCIDENTAL MURDER FOR HIM he ruins all the photos I have of his dead sister and lets me take the blame resulting in years of bullying, just DISAPPEARS for 4 years, then reappears to say he’s leaving again and doesn’t even START to talk about all that shit???? And you certainly aren’t planning on apologizing? You’re gonna wipe your hands of the whole affair while I rot?

Yeah I’d kill him immediately

Obviously I love Sunny and do not hold him responsible but ohhh he would be so dead if I were Basil

[prodigal-explorer]

can basil stan’s stop being fucking idiots

“basil wasn’t a bad person he just did bad things that doesn’t make him a bad person tho! but aubrey is a bitch and a bully and she has no excuse for what she did.” DO YOU REALIZE HOW STUPID YOU SOUND.

“basil was twelve he didn’t know any better he was just trying to protect sunny! but it doesn’t matter that aubrey bullied basil to protect herself and her friends from the damage that BASIL ACTED LIKE HE CAUSED!” how was aubrey supposed to know basil lied? it was basils own fault for saying he did something that he knew would make aubrey mad!

you CANNOT whine about how basil should never be criticized ever because he has reasons for what he did and he wasn’t fully in the wrong and blah blah blah and then condemn and demonize aubrey when she was in an extremely similar situation EXCEPT SHE HANDLED IT WAY FUCKING BETTER THAN BASIL despite having NO adult role models and NO place of true safety except for with the hooligans.

if you’re going to defend basil to the death i better see you doing the SAME DAMN THING to aubrey or else you hate women and i hate you and you don’t get omori.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Hey have a Matt Murdock request.

Matt and you have been friends since St. Agnes. You have feelings for each other but don't say anything. You need Matt at lunch and he accidentally spills something on your top Matt wants to give you a replacement shirt from him. Matt tries to free you and at that moment you realize that you are standing in front of Matt only in a bra.

https://youtu.be/AihgcMDjdLQ

The template is a scene from the Nanny love the series

hii, LOVE this idea. when I watched the clip it did make me laugh. thank you for requesting, hope it’s how you envisioned💌

I made it into a gif, so it’s easier for others to locate/ understand

spillage (matt x fem reader)

wc || <1k

warnings || none

masterlist + rules

taglist

You and Matt have been friends since you were children, growing up it was like the ‘will they, won’t they’ type of relationship, everyone would constantly tell you how cute you’d be together, but you’d always say the same thing, that you were ‘better as friends’. You told each other everything, except one big piece of information- that you were madly in love with each other. You always had a flirty dynamic, you’d never actually act on it, but it was just the type of relationship you had.

Today you had a free day as did Matt, so you decided to have some lunch together. Matt had a bit of a stomach bug so he didn’t really want to leave the house, but you loved his apartment so you didn’t mind, deciding to bring lunch with you.

Knocking on his door, greeting him sweetly. “Hey! I got soup.”

“Smells great, come in.” Smiling warmly at you as he steps to the side to let you in.

“I wasn’t sure what one to get you so I got you four.” Pausing to chuckle to yourself as you searched around his cupboards to find bowls. “Remind me to take you to Ikea one day.” You quietly said.

He grinned to himself, loving the way you felt so comfortable in his home.

“We can just eat out of the containers.” You say closing the doors. “Sit sit.” Ushering him to the little dining table. “What soup do you want?”

“What one don’t you want?” He sweetly asks, as if he wanted to make sure you had first dibs.

“Mushroom.” You instantly reply.

“You got mushroom?” Matt asks, almost disgusted.

“Yeah, it was on offer.” You chuckle.

“No wonder.” He teases.

Laughing to yourself as you opened the bags, pulling out the fresh soup containers.

Reading the labels, you offer. “Okay, so there’s minestrone, tomato and basil and butternut... or mushroom.”

“What do you want?” Matt asks sincerely.

“Matt will you just pick.” You joke. He gives you a fake scolding look. So you change your answer. “The tomato one.”

“Okay, so I’ll have the tomato.” He says with faux seriousness.

“Good, because I wanted the butternut.” You giggle, knowing that you had just managed to successfully trick him.

Opening the container, you began to tuck in, you had taken so long to decide what you wanted, that the soups were practically lukewarm.

“Please can you pass the bread?” Matt asks, extending his arm towards you.

His hand accidentally knocks into yours as you gave him the bakery bag, causing your lemonade to spill down the front of your t-shirt.

“I’m so sorry.” He gushed apologetically.

“No-no, it’s okay! It was my fault.” You reassure.

“No that’s on me, I’m sorry.”

“Matt, seriously it’s okay. I don’t even like this top that much anyway.” You warmly reply, trying not to make him feel guilty.

“Let me get you a t-shirt.” He responds, rushing over to his bedroom as he flicked through his drawers.

Making your way over to him, stopping by his sliding door as you tried to remove your top. Visibly struggling as the wet fabric clung to your chest and stomach. Quietly mumbling to yourself as you tried to free from the sticky and soggy material.

“Need some help?” He asks earnestly.

“No it’s okay, I got it.” Groaning as your arm got stuck in something- you had no idea how, it was as if the armholes were multiplying.

Snickering to himself, walking towards you. “Let me help.” Locating the bottom hem of your t-shirt, pulling it up. “Why is your arm stuck in there?” He laughs as he gently yanks your arm out of the neck hole. He swiftly pulls it over your head, and you loudly exhale, now feeling like you could finally breathe.

You didn’t even notice that you were standing in front of him in your bra, too busy trying to wipe the stickiness off your arms. Matt had guessed you were a little preoccupied, so he extends his hand out to you, holding the t-shirt for you to take.

“Thank you- AH! NO- oh my- NO.” You blurt, covering your arms over your chest while hiding your embarrassed face.

Clearly amused, he laughs hard.

Snatching the t-shirt, rushing as you tried to pull it over your head. “Why can’t I find the frickin hole.” You mutter as you inspect the fabric.

“Take your time, it’s all good.”

Oh yeah! “You know sometimes I forget you are actually blind.” You wryly chuckle as you clothed yourself.

“Me too.”

“Really?” you asked sounding shocked.

“No.” Instantly replying with a deadpan expression.

“Dick.” Chuckling as you walked back to the table, throwing your top into the sink.

“If you spill soup down it, I will be unhappy.” He teases.

“Not like you’d be able to see it.” You joke. “I’m just messing Matty, you’re not getting this back anyway.”

“It probably looks better on you anyway.” Smiling genuinely.

[caesarsaladinn]

Byzantine emperors ranked by how I feel about them at 12:30 am this Sunday morning

Constantine VII. a nerd, but the kind of nerd who cared a lot about pageantry and doing things right. left us manuals of court practice that are simply incredible sources

Nikephoros I. live fast, die young, get your skull turned into a tankard by the Khan

Staurakios. the guy got stabbed, was paralyzed and pissing blood, and decided that he could totally hold onto the throne. (he could not.)

John Tzimiskes. a charming little man with his little red boots and his cheerful demeanor and his willingness to assassinate an emperor and comrade because he felt like it

Anastasios. nerd. the only emperor I can think of to leave a budget surplus. underrated.

Basil I. peasant who charmed and fucked his way to the emperor’s bedshamber and murdered him

Nikephoros II. crotchety old ascetic. I just like the guy.

Basiliscus. in the late 400s, the Byzantines spent their entire treasury on a fleet to recapture the lost western empire. nepotism got Basiliscus chosen to lead this fleet, and he bungled it so badly that it was more or less destroyed within a week of coming into port. despite this, he deposed the emperor and held the job for a while!

Constantine VIII. a historian described taking baths as his “special hobby,” so that’s the intellectual caliber we’re dealing with here, and could only muster the praise to say “well he wasn’t *as* bad as I had expected”

Heraclius. great general, badass, hero, lost a huge battle and wasted decades’ worth of excruciating progress on the Eastern front, but it wasn’t really his fault. his real mistake was marrying his cousin.

[bookish-bogwitch]

Thanks @thewholelemon, @facewithoutheart, @ileadacharmedlife, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @aristocratic-otter, @nightimedreamersworld, @ionlydrinkhotwater for the tags the past couple weeks. Here are six a lot of sentences I cut from Basil Pitch's Diary, which for now is just one baby chapter but the rest of which is coming soon eventually to a browser near you.

This bit's inspired by the fact that there was a Parliament election in 2015. I cut it because it felt kind of clumsy--sticking jokes in the character's mouths that weren't necessarily in-character--and also had the small issue of being completely, utterly irrelevant to the plot. (At least that makes it spoiler-free 😅.)

Excerpt and tags below the cut:

FRIDAY 6 MARCH Blood units 4, body temp 25, hair ducal, civic engagement meh, political parties at least 3. 11 a.m. Politickal Science. Professor Kates had us debate tomorrow’s Normal Parliament election, presumably because he didn’t plan a real lesson. Had never paid much attention to Normal politics before reaching voting age. Unlike Bunce. “…And that’s why I’m voting Lib Dem,” she concluded after talking for eight solid minutes. “You’re sixteen,” objected Wellbelove.  “Not a problem,” said Bunce, flapping her ring hand.  From the back of the classroom, the pixie chimed in. “What about the Green Pa—” Bunce made a rude noise.  “What about you, Simon?” asked the professor. “How would you vote?”  Of course the Mage’s Heir gets a platform for his inane views. What a blow when he finds out there’s no Butter Union party. “Um,” orated Snow. “I … I dunno. Labour, probably.” Snow turned to Bunce. “Like, some of them are nutters, yeah, but they’d fund stuff. Like,” he reddened, “schools and, like, social programs.” “Those are already funded,” said Bunce. “Not enough.”  “You expect the government to solve all your problems,” I quoted my father automatically.  Snow gave me one of my own You’re an idiot looks. “I really don’t.”  Shit. How many times had he been asked to solve the World of Mages’s problems single-handed? Bunce was still fired up. “Simon, you can’t just dismiss Labor’s xenophobic—”  I thought about what Snow meant and missed the rest of Bunce’s rant about something something intersectionality. As if she would willingly intersect with a Normal. 4 p.m. Am torn. Pitches always vote Tory, just like we’ll always vote against the Mage once we get back the franchise. (Fiona has a plan to steal it.) A liberal government would drain our coffers even drier.  But in our borough voting Tory means re-electing a man who opposed same-sex marriage two years ago. The craven claimed he wasn’t homophobic, he just had homophobic constituents. Do not see why the straight unwashed should control my freedom to marry.  Even worse is the Tory ghoul from Aldershot who stumped about “the aggressive homosexual community” using marriage as “a stepping stone.” As if I wouldn’t pay double VAT to be stepped on by an aggressive homosexual. Still. Am not simpleton single-issue voter; marriage equality is a fait accompli. And anyway, I’d only ever want to gay-marry Snow, straight and unwashed though he is.  Felt weirdly proud of him today for disagreeing with Bunce, especially when I realized the professor had singled him out not as Mage’s Heir but as spokesnormal. And that “social programs” meant his entire childhood.  Hmm. SATURDAY 7 MARCH 10 p.m. Resolved politico-moral quandary by forgetting to vote.

Look, it wasn't my idea for Baz to be a Tory. That was all Rainbow. I also do think Penny has a centrist streak inherited from Mitali but I have no idea real how this would translate into the Normal world.

Thanks @facewithoutheart for gently pointing out that this was a complete tangent. And sorry and thank you @captain-aralias for the content beta. It's not your fault I asked you to explain UK politics and then didn't listen.

Tagging @cutestkilla, @fatalfangirl, @moodandmist, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @artsyunderstudy, @im-gettingby, and @petedavidsonscock.

[lavendarlily]

49 for gray ghost!

49. taking the other’s hand to look for injuries 

Walking down the hall, Valerie caught the smell of something absolutely delicious wafting from one of the apartment units. It only became stronger as she approached her front door, and to her delight, found that the source was coming from her own kitchen. She stepped into her home and found Danny busy at work, humming along to the music playing over the sizzling of the food on the stovetop and the clanking of dishes. Leave it to her to date a twenty-something guy who loved Olivia Rodrigo. 

It was much warmer inside the apartment than the blustery winter weather Valerie had just come in from. She removed her coat and boots, but Danny was so engrossed in his cooking, he still hadn’t noticed her. Even Cujo hadn’t come sprinting up to her yet. She decided to take advantage of this and crept up behind her boyfriend who was busy over a mixing bowl. 

“Boo,” she whispered into his ear. 

Danny yelped, tossing his wooden spoon across the kitchen, spraying red all over the cabinets and floors, and Danny himself. 

“Val! What the heck! Now I have to start over on my sauce,” he pouted as Valerie laughed at the mess he’d made.

“You make it too easy sometimes,” she admitted, then pecked him on the cheek. His expression softened and he pulled her into a light hug. 

Valerie wriggled away, trying to avoid getting Danny’s mess on her own clothes. Danny only wrestled her in tighter, and she squealed.

“Danny, stop! I don’t want to ruin this blouse,” she protested.

“Mmmm, this is your fault. Now you have to deal with the consequences,” Danny hummed, but let her go anyway. She surveyed the mess, feeling just a little bit guilty. There was sauce…everywhere.

Valerie grabbed a rag and a spray bottle from under the sink and began wiping away at the cabinets before they could stain. She couldn’t afford to pay damages to her landlord because of a silly prank. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Danny on his knees on the floor, cleaning as well.

They worked together while Olivia Rodrigo sang on. It took them only two full songs to get the kitchen looking okay again, other than the clutter of Danny’s cooking that hadn’t been disturbed. 

“It smells amazing Danny,” she said. She noticed a bag on the counter from one of the local artisan shops down the road. Peering inside, she found freshly made raviolis, and right away, she knew they were her favorites - chicken and basil. 

“Thought I could do something special to celebrate your first day of your internship,” Danny said from behind her. “Mr. Ricci gave me this sauce recipe to go with the pasta. It’s kinda hard to read his writing, so I hope I’m doing it right.”

Suddenly Valerie felt very guilty, but also so grateful. She turned and greeted him with a warm smile. “Thanks, that’s so thoughtful.”

He returned her smile with a bright-eyed grin of his own. “Of course. You deserve something nice.”

Valerie went to the sink and washed her hands. “Why don’t I help you cook then? I’m sure between the two of us we can decipher Mr. Ricci’s writing.” Before Danny could protest, she moved to the stovetop to check on what was boiling. She reached for the handle, then immediately pulled away, cursing to herself. 

She’d momentarily forgotten that it was the pot with the handle that always got too hot. 

Valerie rushed to the sink and started running cold water over her burned hand. Instant relief. Danny hovered behind her, (overly) concerned as expected.

“Let me see it,” he demanded. 

“It’s just a small burn, Danny. Don’t worry, just go back to cooking.”

He didn’t move, instead waiting for her to shut off the water. Valerie huffed but allowed Danny to take her hand and inspect it. 

Danny’s cold hands against her own soothed the burn in a way the water couldn’t, even if it wasn’t intentional. He flipped her hand over a few times, furrowing his eyebrows each time he came across a cut or scar. 

“What, you know what I do Daniel. Don’t be a hypocrite,” she said, feeling a little defensive. Valerie was proud of her scars - they were trophies of her hard work.

“I have advanced healing, Val. It’s not the same.” He dropped her hand and left the kitchen, returning shortly with a first aid kit that he set on the counter. He fished out the burn cream and a small bandage and grabbed Valerie’s hand again, the chill welcome against her injury. Danny gently rubbed the cream into her palm and taped the gauze over it. A smile returned to his lips as he raised her hand to his mouth and placed a soft kiss over the bandage. 

“Now you go sit. I have dinner under control,” he told her. Valerie rolled her eyes but wandered into the living room with a drawn out “fine.” 

She hated cooking anyways.

doing drabbles from this ask game!

[aubreysheadspace]

HIHIHIIII LOVELY AUBREYYYY :-) IM SO SORRY IF THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE BUT. may i rq rw basil & sunny (separate) x reader who knows the truth behind mari's death, but still forgives & loves them? LIKE. character + reader's relationship after sunny told everyone the truth :3 ONCE AGAIN IM SO SORRY IF I WORDED THIS WRONG let me know if u need me 2 explain it more ^_^ THANK UUU ^3^

OMORI SPOILERS!

READER WHO KNOWS ABOUT THE TRUTH BUT FORGIVES SUNNY AND BASIL

hi anon i definitely recognize and know!! /lh ANYWAY!! this is cool request, hope u enjoy!

BASIL

ever since the INCIDENT, BASIL had been desperately aching for anything to go back the way it was before, as if nothing bad ever happened

of course it can never be the same after what he did, the amount of guilt he feels. so when SUNNY finally tells the truth on what happens, BASIL hopes you and the others could forgive them..

thankfully and surprisingly, you do! in fact, you even knew from the entire beginning!.. wait what? you KNEW?!

you knew the entire time but not once did you ever tell the others or confront the two? BASIL is clearly freaked out before you assure him and say that you forgive him.

once let out from the hospital, BASIL is very glad you two managed to still become friends.. even though you practically knew what he did. still, he’s really confused though. how did you know, you weren’t there at all?

whether you decide to tell him or not, BASIL still appreciates that you still care about him despite the cruel act he did to protect SUNNY.. at least he thinks it’s cruel. he still feels very guilty, but you made sure he gets help in the end.

SUNNY

like BASIL, SUNNY is feeling so much guilt from what he did to his family, and to his friends, even more guilt than BASIL has. he wished everything would go back to being the same,

which is why he decided to shut himself out and create HEADSPACE for the sake of forgetting everything that he caused.

thanks to KEL, he finally got out of his house one day three days before he had to move out. of course a lot has happened during those three days. we are all aware of what’s happened, so let’s just get to the hospital scene

after SUNNY was finally ready to tell the truth, he did it. no matter the reaction he got from his friends, it felt good to finally tell the truth and let everyone know it wasn’t their fault. until you decide to suddenly say that you knew.

you knew.. wait, you— knew? you knew and, despite it all, you didn’t ever hate SUNNY for it. why, he wonders to himself. he’s been a shut out for four years because of the guilt he felt if his friends ever found out to what he did.. but in the end, you knew and you still considered him a friend.. how come? SUNNY wondered

you don’t really get to see SUNNY ever since the whole hospital ordeal since he moved away with his mom. whenever he does visit you and the others, he’s a bit afraid that you might suddenly hate him if he visits. of course, he’s just overthinking it. the two of you continued to be friends and try to learn to move on from a painful experience.

[larz-barz]

I’m sorry

——————————————————————————

Warning(s): Mentions of blood, gore, and gaslighting

——————————————————————————

Milo’s eyes fluttered open, the last thing she remembered before blacking out was Basil attacking her.

~Flashback~

“It’s all your fault this happened to me, don’t you see that?!” The words spewed from Basil’s mouth like a waterfall.

“B-Basil you can’t really mean that..!” She cried out as she tried to restrain him.

“I do and I know for a fact you know I’m right!!” He yelled and escaped her tight grip.

Basil tried to cut Milo’s right arm off but she fell back, crying and trembling fearfully as the gash on her arm bled heavily.

“I hate you!!!” He yelled angrily.

~End of flashback~

Basil had already been crying but as soon as he saw Milo had woken up he began crying harder.

He rushed to hug the girl he loved so much but..

“P-please don’t h-hurt me!!” She cried out fearfully and Basil’s eyes widen in terror.

“M-Milo….. I-I would never! I-I’m a human again! S-see?” He frantically tried to reassure her and even ran to the window and held his arm up to it to demonstrate that he won’t burn.

“My love, please trust me.. Please don’t be scared of me.. I-.. I would never ever hurt you on purpose..” He spoke softly as tears ran down his face.

She relaxed when she saw he wasn’t going to hurt her.

Milo jumped out of the bed and hugged Basil tightly. “I-I’m s-sorry.!!”

“Princess, you have nothing to be sorry for.. You’ve done nothing wrong.. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” Basil muttered softly as he gently but tightly held Milo in his arms.

The young couple just spent the next hour or so crying in each other’s arms and they eventually fell asleep together.

~the end~

featuring: @aceofstars0’s oc, Basil

[theflowersamongusau]

“I.. I can’t believe I did that. To BASIL. I don’t understand why.”

“Well.. we can make this look okay, SUNNY. It was an accident, right?

“..I guess we could. I just.. never got to tell him..”

“Tell him what, SUNNY?”

“That.. that.. you know what? Forget it.”

“Oh.. okay! Come on, get me his garden shears.. I’m sorry that we have to do this, BASIL..”

“..”

—

“BASIL! BASIL! Where are.. oh my god. What happened..?”

“He had a gardening accident.. we tried to help but.. failed..”

“SUNNY. Did you never tell..?”

“..No.”

“And you had to see this.. and I did too.. BASIL..”

“Something up, you three?”

“No. Don’t worry about it. We just can’t find BASIL.”

“Oh.. odd..”

—

“OMORI.. it wasn’t your fault for the trauma you endured.”

“..It was, BASIL.”

[another-anonymous-sideblog]

What about a fic where Nagito and Hajime raise plants (Nagito definitely gives the plants names)

This might have been the most fun I've had with a fic in a long time. Thank you for requesting this, I hope I did your idea justice :]

-

It starts in the hospital.

Komaeda takes a lot longer to recover from the program than the others. Hajime spends more than a few sleepless nights by his side, watching as his vitals tick on, hyper aware of every twitch of his face, every too-shallow breath.

The walls are white, the floor is white, the bed is white, and Komaeda looks like a corpse against the colourless sheets. It makes Hajime anxious, so at some point during his recovery, he briefly leaves the hospital, only to come back with a small potted plant.

It isn’t anything special; a young basil plant he ‘borrows’ from Teruteru’s small greenhouse. But the little green leaves do wonders in the sterile room, and when Komaeda wakes up and sees the plant sitting on the windowsill, Hajime watches his brief surprise soften into a tiny smile.

He wants to see that smile again. So, for the next few weeks, whenever he gets the chance to go out he looks  for other plants to bring. At this point, the greenhouse is still very small and more of a shack than anything, so he takes to the island’s natural greenery, keeping an eye out for any small flowers or shrubs he could maybe transfer to a pot. Soon, Komaeda’s room is alive with green, flowers and herbs and pretty weeds planted in pots, and mugs, and anything Hajime can get his hands on. When the windowsill fills up, he moves the small table closer to the window to put plants on as well, until the room is more cluttered than anything and Komaeda jokes that they’ll have to stage an intervention.

But every time Hajime brings a new plant, his eyes light up and he gets that small, quiet smile that lights a fire in Hajime’s chest.

Maybe he does need an intervention, because he’s addicted to the feeling he gets when Komaeda looks at him like that, soft and bright and alive.

~

The plants can’t all come with him when he’s finally discharged. He teases Hajime in the light, gentle way he’s taken to doing, telling him it’s his own fault, and Hajime blushes and stammers an offer to help him take the ones he wants to keep. They end up carrying four back to his cottage: two flowers, a small shrub with colourful leaves, and the potted basil that Komaeda carefully cradles in his hands as they make their way back to the main island.

The cottage is sparse, but not empty. The others have all had enough time to fill their living spaces with things they like, but Komaeda’s cottage started out as the rest did: a bare mattress, blank walls, nothing but the four poster bedframe and the curtainless windows. However, the thought of sending him back from the hospital after almost a month to a completely barren cottage didn’t sit right with Hajime; so, a few days ago, he’d raided the warehouse for things to make it seem a bit more homey. He’s a bit nervous opening the door, an irrational fear that Komaeda will hate it and never speak to him again rising in his throat.

It’s nothing special. A light grey bedspread is neatly made over the mattress with a few of the softer pillows Hajime could find. Sheer curtains hang from the bedposts, and he managed to find some light blocking white curtains for the windows, since he knows Komaeda tends to get overstimulated and figured having something to darken the cottage would help. There’s a stout bookshelf with a few books he found at the library lamely stacked on the first shelf, and a lamp with a light blue shade on top, since he feels like Komaeda might like a gentler, warmer light in the evenings instead of the slightly harsh ceiling lights in all of the cottages. A soft blue rug is spread in the centre of the room, Hajime’s lame attempt to tie it all together the best he could.

It’s really nothing much, and he would be wringing his hands as Komaeda steps in if he wasn’t carrying three plants. He watches as Komaeda slowly walks to the middle of the room, seeming stunned as he looks around. When he finally looks back at Hajime, there’s no trace of disappointment or disgust; instead, he’s looking at him like he hung the stars, mouth slightly open and still clutching his plant.

“Did you do this?”

Hajime nods slowly, some of the nervousness receding, replaced by a warm, fluttery feeling at the base of his throat.

He helps Komaeda arrange the plants on his windowsill, taking a few minutes to point out everything he thinks he might need before leaving him to it. Komaeda stops him with a soft call of his name just before he reaches the door.

When Hajime looks back, there’s an unreadable expression on Komaeda’s face, but it’s not unlike the look in his eyes when he gently tends to the plants.

“Thank you,” he says softly, and when he smiles, the fluttering in Hajime’s chest turns to an almost sickening swirl of butterfly wings beating against the inside of his throat. 

~

He keeps bringing Komaeda plants. They’re mostly herbs and small shrubs, a little bit of greenery to make him smile. But sometimes he brings flowers, things he finds around the islands and puts in pots, colours he thinks Komaeda will like. Kazuichi tells him he’s in deep, and Hajime doesn’t know what he means but rolls his eyes anyways.

Komaeda gets stronger every day, and eventually he’s healthy enough to start helping out around the island. Hajime tries to give him jobs that pose the least amount of danger, but his clumsiness is truly enough to rival Mikan’s, and eventually he starts taking him around with him as he works. 

He usually prefers to work alone, but Komaeda is good company. He likes having him around; even if most of the things he does are distracting. Sitting and reading, handing Hajime tools, drinking water, watching him work…everything about him is enough to catch Hajime’s eye, make him forget what he’s doing, wipe his mind blank when Komaeda meets his gaze with puzzled grey eyes. He’s prettier than he has any right to be, and Hajime finds himself bringing him flowers more often, because he loves the way Komaeda’s lips part and his eyes light up and his cheeks blush a soft pink.

He’s prettier than any flower Hajime has managed to find so far, but he keeps looking.

It’s while he’s working outside that he sees Komaeda crouched in the brush, looking at something. He tries to keep going, but curiosity and the general distraction that Komaeda brings eventually win, and he hops off of his ladder and walks over.

“What are you doing?”

Komaeda glances up briefly, and his eyes are shining and he points to something in the greenery. Hajime crouches down and squints, seeing a flash of pale pink just out of reach.

“I can’t quite see what it is,” Komaeda says, flattening himself to the ground and craning his neck, “but it looks strange, like a dandelion almost. And I tried moving the branches, but there are thick thorns, and I think I may have killed one of them.”

“What do you mean?” Hajime asks. Komaeda sits up and sadly points to a thorny branch, limp, folded leaves pathetically hanging off of it.

“I just brushed against the leaves to move the branch out of the way,” he sighs, “but they all folded up and started drooping. I’m not sure why, but surely my luck has something to do with it.”

Hajime looks closer at the leaves, then at the fanned out leaves on the branch beside it. He gently runs a finger along them to confirm his suspicions, and sure enough, the leaves fold in on themselves instantly. He grins slowly, tugging at Komaeda’s sleeve.

“You didn’t kill them,” he says, gently moving the branch closer to show him. “This is a mimosa plant. They’re very sensitive, so when they’re touched, the leaves fold up for a little bit. See, look.”

He points to the branch Komaeda had showed him, and Komaeda watches in awe as the leaves slowly begin to fan out again, until they’re fully extended, just as lush and alive as they were before.

“That’s…” he trails off, reaching out a hand before quickly pulling it back, looking awed. “That’s amazing.”

“It is,” Hajime agrees. He leans down again to look at the flower Komaeda had seen. “They’re flowering trees, so that’s probably part of the plant. The flowers are really interesting, I can try to get it for you.”

“Ah—” Komaeda quickly sits back, pulling his hands to his chest and looking suddenly uncomfortable, “That’s…the branches are thorny, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt. Please, don’t worry about—”

But Hajime is already laying down on his stomach and wriggling forward, fitting himself in the gap between the branches. Komaeda yelps in surprise, stuttering out a protest, but Hajime ignores him as he stretches his hand forward until he can pinch the delicate stem of the flower between his fingers.

He slowly retreats from the bushes, careful not to let the flower catch on any of the thorns. Komaeda looks positively terrified, but Hajime smiles as he sits up and holds out the flower.

It really is interesting, almost like a powder puff of pale pink and lavender hues. Komaeda looks down at the flower, then up at him again, as though asking for permission. When Hajime nods, he hesitantly takes it, holding it close to and examining it.

“It’s beautiful,” he murmurs, and Hajime has to agree, despite the fact that he’s no longer looking at the flower. When Komaeda looks up, he’s got stars in his eyes, and his hair is falling just over his brow and his pink lips are slightly parted, and oh.

The realization hits Hajime like a train. Komaeda is beautiful. Komaeda is pretty. Komaeda is bright and warm and soft and he makes Hajime feel all sorts of things, things he's grown addicted to without even realizing. 

Hajime has fallen hard, he’s in deep, he’s absolutely, irrevocably fucked, and he feels like he needs to gasp for air, but before he can there’s a sudden warmth in his space, and his breath is stolen as Komaeda’s lips cover his.

The flower flutters to the ground between them, and something in Hajime soars.

~

The others notice, despite Hajime not saying anything. They look at him as he walks into the restaurant with Komaeda, then look at each other with smirks and eye rolls. He swears he even sees items changing hands, like there was already some sort of bet.

It’s almost unnerving how quickly they accept it, but it means that Hajime gets to hold Komaeda’s hand and tease him in the way that makes his cheeks go red, and wrap his arm around his waist and kiss his temple and brush his hair behind his ear. It means he can pull Komaeda close and kiss him sweetly and stare at him across the room, and some of his friends make fun of him, but most of them say they’ve never seen him so happy, and Hajime has to agree.

He spends more time in Komaeda’s cottage. He’s left all of Hajime’s additions, but he’s added his own little touches as well: more books from the library, a desk with drawing paper and some manga Mitarai lended to him, pressed flowers in frames hanging above the bed. And, plants in pots and mugs and glasses from the kitchen, lining the windowsill and the bookshelf. Hajime had eventually toned it down, partly because Komaeda’s cottage was becoming a veritable greenhouse, but also because they were running out of things to put the plants in, and Teruteru threatened them both after the third time he caught Hajime sneaking coffee cups from the restaurant.

They have an actual greenhouse now, and it's where Komaeda has started spending a lot of his free time. Hajime starts assigning most of his work there, tending the fruits and vegetables and herb gardens, and it seems to be paying off. The plants are flourishing, and Komaeda is practically shining underneath the dirt he always manages to get smeared across his face and clothes.

He’s named the plants, which Hajime finds utterly, almost catastrophically adorable. They’re all named after the classical literature he consumes at a practically inhuman rate, and Hajime can hardly keep track of them all but he apparently has a system. The herbs are poetry, the grapevines are Roman myths, and the tomatoes are Shakespeare, because apparently Komaeda hates Shakespeare almost as much as he hates tomatoes. Hajime catches him ranting to a small cherry tomato plant apparently named Benvolio about how ‘your insolence is almost as dramatic as that overrated hack,’ after having to transplant it a third time to keep it from dying.

Hajime just has to kiss him on the spot, laughing as he feels Komaeda’s pout against his lips despite his hand coming up to cup Hajime’s face. He only realizes later that he has dirt on his cheek, after Sonia points it out with poorly hidden amusement.

Komaeda comes alive when tending the plants, and sometimes Hajime sits and watches him work when he’s on break. They eat lunch together in the greenhouse while Komaeda rants about his latest novel, or excitedly tells him how well the strawberries are doing. Hajime could watch him for hours, if it weren't for the fact that every time Komaeda’s eyes light up in the way that makes his heart flutter, he just has to kiss him silly.

~

The first time Hajime sleeps over, he wakes up to Nagito singing to his plants.

He rolls over in bed, watching through sleepy eyes as he carefully waters the flowers on the windowsill. He’s singing something Hajime doesn’t quite recognize, though it sounds familiar, almost nostalgic, and he thinks he could probably fall asleep again listening to it. 

And then Nagito turns around and sees him propped up on his elbow, watching him, and his face goes a delightful shade of red. Hajime smirks a little as he puts down his small watering can and coughs, looking anywhere but the bed, before eventually groaning and burying his face in his hands.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“What are you talking about?” Hajime asks, softly, as to not disturb the peace of the early morning. Nagito peeks out from behind his fingers, and Hajime holds back a laugh as he has the nerve to glare at him.

He sits up with a stretch and a groan, noting with amusement how Nagito’s eyes drop to his bare waist as the blanket slides down his body. Hajime smirks.

“See something you like?”

Nagito huffs and turns back to his flowers, and Hajime rolls his eyes and stands.

He finds his sweatpants from last night crumpled on the floor a few feet away and pulls them on, before sidling up behind Nagito and wrapping his arms around his waist. He buries his face in the crook of his neck, brushing his lips against a mottled purple bruise and smiling when Nagito shivers.

“What are their names?” he murmurs. Nagito hums, and for a moment Hajime thinks he’s going to ignore him in favour of relaxing back into his arms. However, after a moment he runs a hand down Hajime’s side and stands up straighter.

“That’s Delilah,” he says, and Hajime can hear the smile in his voice as he tangles their fingers together over his abdomen. “Then there’s Ida, Edgar, Ruthven, Sannox—”

“Are you naming them after horror novel characters?”

Nagito laughs softly, leaning back in his hold.

“Gothic horror,” he corrects, “and authors. It’s fascinating.”

Hajime chuckles, pressing his lips against his neck.

“Let me guess: Sonia?”

“She’s had some very interesting recommendations. But Ida is from an old fairytale I used to like.”

They stand there for a while, enjoying the closeness and quiet. Eventually, Hajime begins kissing up and down his neck, and Nagito sighs softly and nestles closer.

He’s warm in Hajime’s arms, and he laughs softly when he pulls him back to bed, and his breath hitches when Hajime kisses down his chest, and he is alive. They’re alive.

And the green leaves catch the light of the sun, and they bloom like the love in Hajime’s chest.

[dannybobany]

Marzenie again, Please welcome Sol (sunny)

God of Sun in mortal form, the only light amongst crushing darkness

(Cough cough— hello again! I had a lot of fun with this design, “Sol” here is sort of Marzenie’s stranger, but rather then being an invasion of a pleasant dream Sol is a reprieve from a nightmare. I like to view Sol as the part of Basil that wants to be happy … the part of him that knows it wasn’t really his fault- which of course, takes the form of Sunny, the person in Basil’s life who was always there to listen and comfort)

Height scale + a little extra elaboration:

Marze for scale 👍

So first things first

The flowers’s around Sol’s neck are Edelweiss

Take that as you will-

Anyway, with this design I was really planning the game of “how many tulip shapes can Danny fit into one character desgin”, the answer is apparently four, his hair, his collar, the hood, the coat end (if you coat the whole coat as one then it’s three but whatever), there’s also some very small very low quality sunflowers on his belt

Now there’s the fact he’s a doll, why is that? Why he got ball joints? Well it’s supposed to represent Basil’s overly perfect view of Sunny, Dolls are reflections of humans with what makes us imperfect removed, thus… Sol doll- the last thing about his design I’d like to touch on are the closed eyes. They’re like that because if he opens them he WILL start a forest fire. Sun god things <3

And just to be clear this form is not his “true” form, this character is sort of a “god who lost their power and forgot who they were” trope, his actual SUN form is very eldritch <3 I will draw that at some point but this is the form he has for most of the story so for now we only have one set of arms and eyes and mouths :}

That’s about it for the time being!

[crowbasils]

6.

… OKAY so !!

I think SUNTAN shippers tend to get annoying since a lot comment on how “SUNFLOWER IS SO PROBLEMATIC!!!! ANYWAYS SUNTAN BETTER!!!!” especially those on tiktok. They also do tend to spread lies of SUNFLOWER being toxic and that they’re codependent (they’re not really??? I mean, you could interpret it as such, but please do realize that the signs are present in almost all BASIL ships as well. None of his interactions in-game are “good”, especially the ones with AUBREY. and SUNNY.). SUNTAN shippers also do tend to get annoying with like… stuff like the pinwheel placing. You could take that as SUNTAN proof yes but like… BASILHERO and stuff like that does also exist… And like, the dynamics are almost the same every time. It’s just sad wet depressed cat and happy dog. They also do tend to not acknowledge that KEL might be the one to forgive SUNNY and BASIL first. It might be HERO, AUBREY even. Just because KEL is the way he is, doesn’t mean he’ll forgive them first. Also like? Make KEL sad in a situation that isn’t just SUNNY killing himself. Please.

PHOTOBOMB shippers…. They’re actually pretty okay!! The only thing I dislike is when they call the BASIL in other ships “watered down” or misinterpreted for a totally wrong reason. I saw a take where one said that BASIL wasn’t concerned about SUNNY and instead was concerned about what SUNNY can do for him and put SUNNY’s needs second which isn’t the case. It really isn’t! BASIL was hallucinating in that fight. He genuinely believed SOMETHING was there. He wanted to protect him, because he truly believes that SOMETHING is there. BASIL is also scared of SUNNY leaving because he was one of the only ones who actually listened to his vents and rants enough to know almost everything about him. He’s panicking, and for a good reason. He doesn’t know if the truth will ever be revealed. The guilt eats him up alive everyday, the lies, the deception, it eats him up and leaves him paranoid. Which is why he acts the way he is in the fight. It’s his last chance to at least get the truth out, to see SUNNY again, but because of his hallucinations and delusions, the fight ended up happening.

That being said. I do also have a problem with the ones that don’t recognize that bullying is in fact abuse. I’m not calling AUBREY an abuser, but she Did do fucked up things. She was a horrible person, but she wasn’t evil. He’s not calm because he understands, he’s calm because he thinks the one at fault. He thinks he deserves it. He understands, yes, but that’s not why he’s calm. He’s calm because he genuinely thinks there’s something wrong with him, and that he’s the one who needs to adjust. Technically, what she did Is abuse, since bullying is considered abuse. It doesn’t matter if it was verbal abuse at first, it still counts as it. Verbal bullying is STILL bullying. It’s a pretty gray area when it comes to AUBREY, because I don’t want to be too harsh and call her an abuser, but yeah. She was a horrible person, not evil, but one with many mistakes and one who needs to actually atone. Words and feelings don’t matter without actions, much like how actions don’t matter much without the words. They need confirmation that you actually mean it, much like how they need confirmation you’re doing it because you’re sorry.

Also like. Most victims of bullying and/or abuse tend to feel for their abuser if they were previously close to them. Especially if they had a familial relationship or a friendship relationship. That’s what most people that ship it tend to not notice. PHOTOBOMB will take a lot of months, maybe years even to start communicating as close as they were in the past. They will have a phase where they have to heal. I’m sorry, but if you ship SUNTAN and PHOTOBOMB just because SUNFLOWER is toxic, you uh…. I don’t know. If you ship it for different reasons, I don’t mind, but that specific reason is bullshit lmao.

… I think I’m just a hater.

[sixpossumsinatrenchcoat]

game over

in the final chapter of my post-bad end timeskip, Kel and Aubrey talk things out. Spoilers for abandon end/knife end.

They wind up on the swingset at Faraway Park, because of course they do. It’s not like Aubrey went all scorched-earth on her old life specifically to get away from places like this.

Kel’s knee bounces in place, kicking up sand. “So… where’ve you been? Did you transfer schools or something?”

Aubrey winces. Right. Yeah. Of course he’d ask that.

She thought she might feel proud, if she ever got the chance to tell someone about how she left her old life behind her. How she broke free from the shackles of societal expectations and forged her own path. But she can’t help feeling a little embarrassed as she mutters, “Uh. No. I guess I sorta dropped out.”

“Wh–What?? Really???”

“Tch. Not that it’s any of your business, but. Yeah.”

Kel’s eyes go round with horror. “But— But you’re so much smarter than me!! You’re actually good at school!!”

“That’s got nothing to do with it.” Aubrey didn’t disappear to get away from school. She disappeared to get away from the people she saw there.

Her friends… Her former friends, the Hooligans. She’d wanted to give them a family. But she fucked it up. Because the problem wasn’t Aubrey’s friends. It was Aubrey.

Only one person ever got to hear how Aubrey really felt about Basil, and that’s Kim. Not that Aubrey told the whole stupid sob story, but. Kim knew that Aubrey felt… abandoned. Betrayed. Not just angry, but hurt.

And from that day on, Kim was sort of bizarrely gung-ho about hurting Basil back.

She didn’t even have a real reason. Apparently, she didn’t need one. ‘You don’t gotta explain yourself to me, Aubrey! I trust you!!’ But she shouldn’t. No one should.

(Basil used to trust Aubrey, too.)

Trusting Aubrey is the first mistake that set the whole cascade in motion. It’s a steep slide into a shallow grave. A trust-fall into a fucking lake. And Basil can’t even fucking swim.

Even after what happened, all Kim cared about was Aubrey. Ohh, Aubrey, how are YOU feeling? Are YOU upset? Do YOU feel responsible? You have to know that none of this was YOUR fault!!! Like Basil dying didn’t even matter. Like Kim had never stopped to wonder if it was partly her fault, too. Aubrey couldn’t stand to look at her. It made her feel sick.

“My fr— The kids I used to hang with,” she says dully. “I wanted to—save them, I guess. Like—” Her throat closes.

“Mari,” Kel says, understanding.

It still hurts. By now, Aubrey knows it never won’t. “But. I’m not Mari, so. I just made them worse.”

She grits her teeth and waits for Kel to say something encouraging and meaningless. Aw, c’mon, Aubs, what’d’you mean? You’re great, they’re great… What’s the problem! But he just frowns.

“...I don’t think that’s true.”

She rounds on him, teeth bared. “Did you not see what we did to Basil?” Meaning: what she made them do to Basil. How they’d trusted her, and how she repaid that trust by teaching them to be cruel.

She’s expecting Kel to fire back at her. To take the bait, like he always has, and give her someone else to hurt for a change. But he doesn’t. He just says, quietly, “I didn’t forget.”

The fight goes out of her. “Whatever," she spits. "You wouldn’t understand.” Kel has always had a family. He’s always known that he was loved. He never had to wonder if he was only ever going to make everything worse.

But to her surprise, he doesn’t argue with that, either. He just chews his lip and gives her an unhappy smile. “Sorry. I guess I just mean… When we were kids, and it was Mari looking after us… We didn’t always play nice, either. Remember how much Sunny used to boss Basil around?”

Aubrey can’t help it. She snickers. “Only ‘cause he liked it.” Basil was always so eager to be of use. Just asking to borrow a pencil could make his whole week.

“Pffft. Maybe. Okay, but what about that time I wanted to play tug-of-war, and you wanted to play The Floor Is Lava?”

“Hah!!” She’d completely forgotten about that. “Oh my god. And we fought for so long that Basil got all upset, and insisted we had to compromise, or else he was going to cry.”

“But we still couldn’t agree, so finally Sunny stood up and— Ahaha!!! Sunny stood up like, Guys. I solved it. We can do both. The rest of us all, Wow, well, if Sunny says so, it MUST be true.” When he closes his eyes, he can almost see it. Sunny was so cute at that age, like a grumpy little cat. But still a total tyrant. No room for fears or doubts or stupid questions.

“And when—” Aubrey can barely get the words out. “Oh my god… When we finally set up the rope suspension across the jungle gym, we—”

“—you yanked Basil off the Big Yellow Cat, but—”

“—but he’d!! He’d got the rope hooked around his ankle, so he got stuck like that; but it was all jammed in the planks, so he couldn’t get down, either!!”

Kel wheezes. “Hah!!! Ahaha, oh my god. Basil was hanging there for hours.”

“Upside down! Like a wind chime! And he kept trying to tell us, Ohh, please don’t worry, I’m totally fine!”

“Sunny had to cut him loose with a bread knife,” Kel chortles. “And when we finally got him down, he was like. He was like—You guys. This has really brought us—”

“—brought us all closer!!!!”

Kel cackles. “You kept trying to check his pulse, and the whole time Sunny’s just standing there like, Yes. This was the plan all along. I hope you guys are grateful.”

“Pfffwww,” she sputters. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, or maybe it’s just she hasn’t talked to anyone outside of a customer-service setting in at least six months. But Aubrey is pretty sure this is the funniest thing she’s heard in her life. Fucking hell, they were so fucking stupid. How Mari kept them alive all those years, she'll never know.

There’s a sound like a dog trying to throw up, a rhythmic sort of glrrk–hrrk. Aubrey looks up in surprise. She’s never heard Kel laugh like that.

—Because it wasn’t a laugh. Kel is crying. When’s the last time she saw Kel cry? It’s… weird. And sort of unnerving. It makes him look—not himself.

“W-Woah.”

“Sorry,” he chokes out, shaking his head fast. “Sorry, I’m totally fine, this is just. Something that’s happening, haha. It is totally all good, s-sorry, I’m just. Really really tired.”

She glowers at him. “It’s obviously not all good.”

“Haha. Yeah. I guess not.” He hunches forward, resting his elbows at his knees and staring at the sand between his feet. “I just, um. Miss him so bad. Haha. Isn’t that stupid? We didn’t see the guy for four years, and I still can’t stop seeing him.”

Aubrey winces. That hits a little too close to home.

“I just… I really had myself convinced that I was helping him, you know?” Kel asks, a little dreamily. “Forcing him out of his comfort zone, and dragging him all over town and stuff. But I never even asked if he wanted to be there. I was just being pushy ‘cause I—wanted him back, I guess. But I pushed him too hard, and now I'll really never see him again.” He forces a painful-looking smile. “I was so sure I was helping, but… I was just doing what I wanted. The whole time, it was just— It was all just for me. He probably didn’t even wanna be there.”

“Hey. Come on.” Aubrey was being an asshole that week, but she still had eyes. She saw how they were together. Sure, Sunny wasn’t talking, but he could barely tear his eyes off of Kel. It pissed her the fuck off, at the time. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

Sunny was carrying that stupid knife around, but he didn’t even raise it till Aubrey took a swing at Kel. She whipped her bat into Kel’s ribs and Sunny’s eyes went dark. And in the church, when a splinter from her bat scraped a slash across Kel’s bicep… Sunny tugged on his elbow and made Kel hold out his arm for first aid. He still didn’t speak, but a blind man could see how tenderly he stretched that bandaid over the wound. With heartbreaking gentleness. Like Kel was—something precious.

But she doesn’t know how to say that.

She settles for, “Don’t be fuckin stupid. Anyway, we both know Sunny never did anything he didn’t wanna do.”

Kel snorts, then sobers. “Hah. Yeah. Maybe. I dunno. I don’t know what to think, honestly.”

She looks sideways at him. Kel looks… bad. Unexpectedly so. He’s skinnier than the last time she saw him, washed-out and sort of gray around the eyes. Which strikes her as a little unfair. Kel didn’t even kill anyone.

She knows she’s being a little petty when she mutters, “At least your hands are clean.”

“Hah. I mean. Are they?”

“Are you fucking joking?”

Kel gives her a bleak look. No. He is obviously not fucking joking.

Aubrey bristles. “Christ, you piss me off sometimes. You didn’t fucking kill anyone, you dumb fuck. You did everything you could to save Sunny. I did everything I could to—fucking—drive Basil into the fucking ground.”

“I mean….. I dunno. You were shitty to Basil for ages, and he was still mostly okay. Everyone was okay till I dragged Sunny out.”

“You think Sunny was okay in there?” she snarls. There's something satisfying about pointing her frustration at someone else, for a change. “Fucking, really? Did he look okay to you? And Basil… For fuck’s sake. Basil hadn’t been okay in years.”

“But—”

“Sunny was already dying. You tried to stop him! It wasn’t enough! It fucking sucks, but that doesn’t make it your fault. You think you’d feel any better if you didn’t even try? If you had to find out about it later, after he was already a stranger?”

“Huh,” Kel says numbly. He’s never really thought about it. “Huh. Yeah. I mean… Maybe. But you know it’s the same for you, right?”

“Like hell.”

“I’m serious!! I know you and Basil were kinda fighting—”

Aubrey barks a laugh. Yeah, that’s one way to put it.

“—but I just really don’t think that’s why he did it.”

…Fine. She’ll bite. “And why the fuck not?”

“I don’t know. I think—” Kel hesitates. She can see the gears turning in his mind, stiff and rusted from disuse. “I guess I think there was something going on between them. Basil and Sunny. They seemed… weird around each other.”

“Weirder than running around slashing people with knives?”

“Yeah, actually.”

Oh. Huh. Aubrey wasn’t expecting that.

Kel shrugs. “I didn’t say anything, ‘cause I didn’t wanna make him feel weird. I mean. I’m sure it was hard enough, coming out after all that time, so. I guess I figured he’d wanna feel normal? But, yeah. They were—weird. About each other. Sort of… intense? Like they were having a whole conversation with just their eyes. But, uh. Not a good conversation.”

She gives Kel another slow, suspicious once-over. She wants to accuse him of bullshitting her, but he just obviously isn’t. It’s easy to see how uncomfortable it makes him, talking about this stuff. That’s why he always dodged these conversations before. (Which is annoying in itself. Aubrey can’t decide if she appreciates it, or if it just pisses her off more to see him finally making the effort, five years too late.)

“...But that’s normal for them, right?” she points out. “They were always kind of weird about each other.”

“Not like this,” Kel says right away. “I asked Basil to hang out all three days, did you know that? He just kept saying no. To hanging out with Sunny! Have you ever seen that happen? He used to make Sunny go to the bathroom with him so he wouldn't get lonely!”

“Pffft.” She’d forgot about that. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess… I guess they did seem a little weirder than normal.”

“I don’t know why, obviously. And I guess now I never will. But I just… I really don’t think it was your fault. And I know you think I’m just saying that, but I swear, I’m—”

“No, I know.” Kel might be a totally tonedeaf dumbshit, but he doesn’t lie. “It’s just, uh. A lot to take in. I probably gotta sleep on it. …Assuming I ever manage to sleep again. For the rest of my fucking life.”

Kel huffs a laugh. He can relate. He is beyond tired. But something about Aubrey makes him feel strangely awake. Cornered and defensive, too, but definitely also awake.

Something about that twangs on a thread of memory. Something he heard, or… maybe something he dreamed? He’s probably just being stupid, but for some reason, it feels strangely important.

“Hey… Aubrey?”

She looks at him.

“Do you ever feel, like. Out of balance?”

Her eyes narrow. “You think I’m unbalanced?”

“Not like that,” he says quickly, before she can start hitting. “Like. Uh. Like… Homeostasis?”

Now she’s really baffled. “Do you even know what that means?”

Shit, does he? “Uh… Like… Checks and balances?”

“What?”

Kel huffs sheepishly. When he was listening to dream-Sunny, this whole metaphor felt a lot more self-explanatory. “Like… Maybe none of us are any good alone? And when we were kids, we were only okay ‘cause we, like, balanced each other out? And that’s why we’re all…” He trails off. He doesn’t know how to say it.

The trouble is, Kel has no idea what he’s doing. Mari was always better at this kind of thing. The silver medal went to Hero. Then it was Basil, then Sunny, and then Kel and Aubrey, pretty much tied for last. So there’s basically no one less-qualified to have this conversation.

…Ugh. This was stupid. Kel is just being stupid. Only a total idiot would try to translate dream logic into actual human words. And it’s not like Aubrey ever needed anyone before. Why would it be different now?

“Sorry,” he sighs, sagging. Exhaustion makes long, jittering silhouettes of every shadow. Two street signs look, in the corner of his eye, like two figures holding hands. “Sorry, I don’t mean to… Aw, forget it. Sorry. I’m just, uh. Not really sleeping, I guess.”

Aubrey stares. She’s never seen Kel look this worn down. And she definitely hasn’t seen him look so totally defeated.

“Look,” she mutters at last. “Do you wanna come back to my place?”

Kel whips around to gape at her.

“...I’m not coming onto you?”

“I-I know!!!” he insists. “I just—I wouldn’t wanna… get in your way?”

“Okay. So don’t.”

“Pfft,” he snickers. He’s probably being kinda selfish, but he really doesn’t wanna go back home. “Then, um. If it’s really not annoying, then… Yeah. I kinda really do.”

Read the rest here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46429294/chapters/117750637

Or start from chapter one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46429294/chapters/116900185