#it wouldn't have to do with the fact that soap felt love at first sight or anything like that no no no

[saucywendeee]

👻🧼 - Fantasy AU Dark Mage/Prince

[neoarchipelago]

And they were Roommates (part 9)

A/N: and i'm back. I'm trying to finish this big moment of the story before going back to molre fluff, smuttyness and calmer stuff. I'll alternate between that. Thanks to everyone who gave me feedbacks, it really helps. Also i'm just shocked how this taglist grows everyday. I see all your comments, i'm sorry if i don't answer all of them, i love ya'll!

WARNINGS: 18+ CONTENT, violence and smexy scenes, bewaree!

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You blinked your eyes open. Your head was pounding. The bright lights weren't helping at all. Voices..you could hear voices. You turned your head to take in your surroundings. You were in a hospital room. You could recognize the medical care area. You tried to remember what happened. You were… attacked at the base? Fuck. Your eyes shifted to the voices the whole squad was there. Laswell was here too. Your eyes filled with tears. They came for you. 

You looked at the couch next to the bed. 

"Reaper…" you tried in a rasp. 

Everyone turned to you in a flash. 

That simple word had felt like you were ripping apart your own throat. 

"Fucking hell Y/N!" Simon growled. 

Everyone rushed to your side. 

"Are you alright?" Kate asked, worry clearly tainting her voice. 

You nodded slightly.  

"Let me call the doc." Price said. 

You wanted to roll your eyes. Your eyes shifted to Simon. You smiled at him. 

You came… you mouthed.

"You called." 

The doc walked in, stepping towards you. He checked you up, giving you some medicine for your head and throat as you had tried your best to describe where it hurt and some water. You were fine. The squad had intervened very fast. You had to rest though. You wouldn't be able to speak for a little while. The angry bruises on your neck looked quite bad, but fuck it, you were alive. You had to stay in the hospital for a few days to make sure everything was fine. 

Talking was a no for a little while, probably a few days, so you got creative.

Did you guys catch the guy? You wrote on your phone before showing the screen to the team. 

"Yes." Soap answered seriously. 

"Ghost shot him on sight." Gaz said in the same tone.

You turned to look at him as he stood, arms crossed looking at you. You smiled at him. It could have been a good source of information. But you understood his move. You even found peace in his violence. He didn't hesitate a second to kill for you. 

What are we going to do? You wrote again. 

"Right now you do nothing." Laswell answered. You had never heard such a tone in her voice. 

"You rest. You do nothing. This time squad 141 had been tasked to keep you safe and I won't take no for an answer. It's an order and it's already been acted." 

You looked at Ghost. He was unreadable. But you could still feel how uneasy he was feeling.

You sighed and nodded. You weren't going to complain. 

Soap and gaz left a bit later, going to rest before taking their shift in your room to watch over you. Ghost was staying obviously, he hadn't even sat down yet. 

Laswell and Price hovered over you like hawks. Laswell looked absolutely torned. 

Kate it wasn't your fault. You wrote 

"Y/N. You are under my responsibility. Putting aside the contract, you matter so much to me and I've failed to keep you safe."

You wrote furiously, hating the fact that your voice would burn your throat. 

This isn't the first time, you can't always protect me. 

"I know I can't always protect you. But fuck you are literally on a military base, and someone tried to kill you. Our part of the contract with you is to keep you safe and away from harm as you put yourself on the first line against the worst." She said, her eyes glistening softly. 

You took her hand in yours, smiling at her. You didn't want her to cry. You'd cry too. 

"We were right there. We were supposed to keep you safe too. Everyone's on edge." Price added. 

You looked at him. Something flashed through your mind. Simon. He probably was feeling furious, thinking you disobeyed him and this happened. This time you tried blinking the tears away. You took back your hand, typing something on your phone. Your eyes then searched Simon's ones, and he immediately walked to you. 

You turned the screen towards him, a heartbroken expression on your face, a tear escaping what should have been their prison. 

I'm sorry

He frowned. 

"No." 

You bit your lip. 

"Don't you dare apologize, you hear me?" He growled. 

"No, Y/N, this isn't your fault…" Kate added. 

You nodded frantically, of course it was. He was after you. You were causing such a mess. 

"No, no hey, you're ok, don't beat yourself up for someone else's actions. You are being hunted down." Price softly said. 

You were fully crying now. You felt so bad and so guilty. Ghost looked absolutely out of himself, you could feel his hands softly shaking on your leg. You caused this. 

"Hey, hey. Look at me. Bunny. I said, Look at me." 

You finally gave in. His hands rose to your face, cupping it softly. You noticed the obvious bruises and blood on his knuckles. 

"It. Is. Not. Your. Fault."

You blinked, letting tears fall again. 

"Do you understand? No one. And I say NO ONE. Is holding you accountable for this situation."

You closed your eyes leaning into his touch. He wrapped his arms around you, you buried your face in his chest, trying to ignore the ache coming from your throat. He softly brushed your hair, calming you down. 

You took a deep breath gaining composure. You separated, wiping your tears away. 

"Rest now. Alright?" 

You nodded. 

"Lieutenant Riley and I will take the first watch." Price said. 

Laswell nodded. Price walked her out of the room. You remained with Simon. You looked up at him as he glanced at you. A hand rose to hover over your jawline, eyes fixated on your bruised throat. You grabbed his hand, rubbing your cheek against it, trying to comfort him. 

"I fucked up. You got hurt while in my care." He said. 

You shook your head softly. 

"Yes. You were."  He took a deep breath. 

"Listen to me now. You are my mission from now on. Do you understand?" 

You frowned. 

"I'm going to keep you safe, even if I have to burn this base down." 

You shivered. 

"But I'm also going to be very professional. Do you understand?" 

You look puzzled. 

"No more bunny. No more Simon… I'm gonna be cold. Tactical. Don't take it personally please." 

You pouted. 

He smirked under the mask. 

"I promise. I'll take care of this, and then we'll enjoy each other." 

You rubbed your cheek against his hand again. 

"Darling… look at me. Do you understand? From now on, it's going to be Ghost. You're gonna have to be a good girl, and obey. Alright?" 

You looked up at him, nodding. 

"Good." 

You grabbed your phone, typing up. 

Can I still wear your hoodie… it comforts me… 

He chuckled.

"Yes. You can wear my hoodies. I'll still be here, I'm not leaving, ever. I'll just… my head's going to be focused on a target." 

You nodded. You were understanding that. You weren't going to fight over this. You still felt absolutely guilty and terrible. You just wanted for this to be over. Usually, when you were the target, you often ended up in almost similar situations, though this time you had been careless. You truly would have been dead if it wasn't for the squad having your back. 

You had let yourself go on the fact that you were on a military base and you thought you were perfectly safe. 

"Come on, rest now. Price and I are here." 

You smiled at him and nodded. You let yourself fall back into your pillow. He brushed a few strands of hair away from your face before turning and walking to the door meeting Laswell and Price outside. 

You looked at the ceiling thinking about the events. You were trying to remember everything that happened during the attack, something that might bring a memory, a piece of information. But the more you thought about it, the heavier your eyes became. You were exhausted. But also frustrated. The ache in your throat was a reminder of what was wrong. Was that guy's darkends? No. He wouldn't have put himself in danger like that.

You had to find darkends. You had to get to him. But how? Especially now that you were being watched constantly by squad 141. 

You closed your eyes. Swallowing felt really painful. You were thankful for the medication who was starting to numb the pain. You tried to stay awake but we're slowly being lulled to sleep. 

Did they walk back in? You were sure you could hear their voices… Did they put Reaper next to you? You could hug something fluffy now. You weren't sure, you were tired. You fell asleep. 

During the night, you woke up, feeling something heavy on you. You blinked looking down. You were absolutely shocked, Simon was cuddling you, his head over your stomach and his legs in between yours. He was hugging your waist. Price was outside, you could see his shadow through the blurred glass window. You smiled, letting your hand fall on Simon's head, softly caressing it through the mask. His grip around your waist tightened. 

"Hush… go to sleep Y/N." 

You smiled. You wanted to ask what happened to being professional? But you couldn't. Though he seemed to read your mind. 

"Let me just stay like this a bit… you're here. I almost fucking lost you-" 

You let your hand go to his cheeks caressing it and the other on his forearm. He sighed. 

"Sleep…" 

You smiled, closing your eyes again. It felt warm. Amazing to have him against you like this. You were falling back asleep, trapped in between the land of dream and reality. The world around you was a blur… 

My little bunny

After a full week you were discharged. Kate had completely refused to let you return to your apartment. Instead, a small space right at the center of the base had been converted into a living space. The small building had been made so the higher sergeant or lieutenant could catch a break and had a small kitchen and a bathroom and two small rooms that were previously offices. The two small rooms had been emptied and a bed, and a few other pieces of furniture were occupying the space. One of the rooms had bunk beds and a single bed so the boys could sleep. 

Soap had nicely brought things from your apartment, though Simon was the only one to touch your clothes… because… underwear. You had some blankets, your laptops, chargers, Reaper obviously, some hygiene products and mostly, Simon had brought you a few of his hoodies. 

You were bored. The boys wouldn't let you do anything on your own except go to the bathroom and shower. 

The doctor had run multiple tests, luckily, the strand of plastic that had wrapped around your neck had mostly cut the flow of air, bruised and burned your skin thanks to the fabric laced around the cable. The boys had very luckily found you fast enough and made sure that you were breathing. The bruises were still very visible, you tried to hide it  but it was pointless. Your voice was slowly coming back but talking was still a challenge so you kept using your phone to talk to the team. 

You wanted to do something, maybe walk around. You kept searching on your laptop, sending any bit of information to the rest of the IT team. Laswell kept nagging you, she wanted you to completely withdraw from the mission. You had refused, after all you were the one being hunted. 

After a few days, they had finally found the identity of the attacker, a soldier from base. He had no particular link to you or the mission, so you asked Laswell to bring his electronics. You spent hours on the small table in the makeshift living room, searching through his phone and laptop. It didn't take long to find evidence. 

Pictures, messages, videos, all from missions he had been on. Missions that turned wrong. All used to mentally blackmail and wash his brain into complying. You froze in place when you read one of the messages sent by darkends. 

And the little bird kept singing to everyone,  and the cat, jealous, made sure it would no longer sing.

That motherfucker. He had completely used that poor guy, just to taunt you? Just to send a message? Fuck, that guy's dead now! You felt incredibly guilty, closing the laptop with a snap, attracting curious looks your way. 

"Is everything ok?" Soap asked. 

Simon eyed you from a corner of the room. 

You grabbed your phone typing something. 

My throat hurts, I want to speak and I can't. I'm very frustrated. 

You lied. You tried to write something they would accept. 

"Oh, would you like tea?" He offered with a smile. 

You softened your features playing pretend and you nodded, mouthing thank you. 

You, on the other hand, grabbed your own laptop and immediately got to work. You had to secure the team. Their files were confidential, but you wouldn't put it past darkends to manage that exploit. You knew the boys wouldn't betray you, but you'd be damned if they were thrown into a fire you were causing. 

It took a few minutes to get into the protected system and find the files. You knew by now the IT team had been alerted by a breach of security because you weren't being careful. You wanted to encrypt the files until no one, no, one, could open them. You had very little time before someone came rushing through your door, probably Laswell, scolding you. 

You had managed to encrypt everything, living your signature imprint. Soap had given you a warm tea with honey in it and you smiled, this time a true one as you felt relieved. Little over a minute after, the door swung open, startling Price and Soap. 

"What the fuck?!" Laswell yelled. 

You were expecting it. You took a sip of your team, the warmth of it making you feel good and in slight pain. 

"What happened? " Price asked, following her glare straight to you. 

"You hacked the military?! What for??" She was slightly furious. Slightly. 

You opened the soldier's laptop, opening the message wide. You turned the screen to her. Everyone walked to it, reading it. You took this time to write on your phone. 

He's using people against me. I'm not letting him use my friends. 

She read your phone, the boys taking a glance too. 

"Damn right we're friends!" Soap cheered, earning a 'shut up' from Ghost.

"You protected their files?" She finally understood. 

You nodded typing again. 

Sorry I didn't ask, I wanted to do it fast.

She sighed. 

"That's going to be a lot of paperwork…" 

You smiled apologetically.

"You know, we'd never hurt you." Soap said, looking at you. 

You frowned sadly. 

"I know… he'd hurt you…" you tried with a low, shaky voice. It still burnt your throat to speak. But you felt like you needed to say it out loud. You needed to tell them you trusted them with your life. He smiled, running to hug you. You smiled too. There wasn't a doubt in your head, these men would protect you with their lives. You would be fucking damned if you wouldn't protect them at all costs. 

It had been almost three weeks now you were stuck in this little house. Sure, it was fun to spend time with the boys, playing poker or the switch. Unfortunately, as Simon had warned, he was cold. He was very professional and wouldn't participate in the games. It made you sad. You wanted to be in his arms. And in all honesty, you were slightly annoyed, and pouting. One hug. It wouldn't kill him! 

You could feel his eyes on you sometimes. Ghost really had seemed to be taking full control. His gaze was darker. It was thrilling. And you played with it. Especially now that you were bored and annoyed. You wore a tank top, sometimes without bras, your nipples showing through the fabric. He would look absolutely furious. The poor boys were the one paying for your taunts as he threw murderous glances to everyone. You had given up, taking pity on the boys. You'd talk back, you'd be a brat. But he kept it professional. Much to your dismay. 

It had been extremely peaceful. Your bruises were almost faded, but your voice was still shaky. You'd speak a bit more often. But no yelling, no laughing out loud. At least you didn't have to type anymore. 

Nothing had happened. Nothing. Darkends had been silent. You were even wondering if he hadn't given up. It was, however, calm before the storm.

Laswell walked in, three soldiers behind her. Everyone turned to the newcomers, attention on them. 

"We have a problem." 

Price stood from the small couch. 

"Your apartment has been trashed." She continued.

This time she was talking to you. You jumped from the chair. 

"No. No. You are not coming." She warned.

"What..?" You hated how weak your voice was. 

"Ghost, Soap and price, you're coming with me, Sparrow you'll be staying with these recruits for the next few hours. Gaz and Konig will also join them soon." 

You frowned. That was ridiculous! You were going to say it out loud before Ghost spoke. 

"No. Stay." 

You looked at him. You wanted to scream but you just looked angrily at him. 

"Get mad if you want. Wouldn't change shit." He fumed. 

You gasped, shocked. 

You flipped him the bird, earning a terrifying glance from him and a laugh from Soap. You ran to your room, locking the door behind you. God! Your blood was boiling. They wanted to protect you, sure. But it was your mission. You wanted to be part of it. 

You heard them as they left. You needed to do something. You needed to go there with them. It was your house! Your home. Your eyes stopped on the window. This was a long shot. A very long one. But fuck you needed to try it. You opened it, taking a look outside. You could see the cars not too far. The gears in your mind were turning. Was there any way you could run and hide in the trunk? 

Fuck. It was either staying in your room, or giving it a try. The worst that could happen is Ghost finding you and… who knows. 

You slipped through the window, thanking whatever you could that the ground wasn't too far from your feet. Walking to the corner of the building you took a peek. Laswell was having some kind of pep talk. You looked at the car in front of you. You had to run, hide behind it, open the trunk as discreetly as possible and hide in it. 

You took a deep breath, hunching down and making a run for it. 

You couldn't believe it. It worked. You were behind the jeep. Now was not the time to get cold feet, you had to act fast. You slowly unlocked it, cringing at the lock's noise. You opened it slightly just enough to roll your body inside. Now closing it was the hardest part. And then there it was. Price and Laswell barking orders loudly. Loud enough to cover the sound of the trunk closing. So you did, not wasting this chance.

You exhaled. God. You couldn't believe this. The car shook as the doors opened. You froze, eyes widening. 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. 

People got in. By the voices, Soap, Ghost Price and someone else. 

The way the car rolled out of parking, you knew Ghost was driving. It was going to be a long ride. 

And it had been. You were sure to have a few bruises when you'd get out. When the car finally stopped you almost thanked the skies for it. The guys got out. Now you had to get out. An idea popped in your head. You took your phone out texting Soap. 

Soap. Trunk. Don't tell Ghost. 

What? 

TRUNK. 

You waited. It was long. What was he doing?! 

And suddenly the trunk opened. Soap looked absolutely horrified. You would have laughed.  But also looked horrified when he closed the trunk right back. What the…?! 

You knocked on the trunk repeatedly to make him open again. And he did, still wide eyed and now looking around to see if anyone was looking. 

"What are you doing here?!" He said in the loudest hushed whisper ever. 

"I'm going to see my apartment!" You answered in the same tone, glad to be talking in a low voice. You rolled and jumped out of the trunk. 

"Nonononononono…." He whispered-yelled again. 

"Yes. Yes. Yes." You claimed looking straight at him. 

"LT is going to kill us! You for disobeying and me for hiding you from him!" He hushed again. 

You rolled your eyes. 

"You're fine!" You whispered-yelled too. 

You passed right by him heading straight to your building. 

"Sparrow! No!! Fuck!" 

You kept heading up, now fully visible to everyone Soap running up to you. He looked visibly unwell. You promised yourself to take the fall for him. You were climbing the stairs, every soldier now noticing you and looking a mix of shock and terror as you passed by. It made you uneasy. You started to worry about Ghost's reaction too. But now was no time to worry. You were here, you were going to investigate. 

Finally reaching your apartment door you stepped inside. The first one to see you was price. And the first thing you noticed, was that the place wasn't trashed at all. 

"Y/N!" Price reprimanded. 

You stopped. Fuck. He could have said anything. A 'why are you here', or 'what the fuck' or anything else. But your name? It attracted him. He almost came running from the hallway. When your eyes locked, the only thing you wanted to do was run. He immediately rushed to you picking you up, throwing you over his shoulder. 

"No!" You tried.

You pounded on his back, though he clearly didn't seem to care. He started heading towards the door. In a last attempt you grabbed someone's arm. Laswell. 

"Lieutenant." 

He stopped. You closed your eyes, sighing with relief.

"Please put her down." 

He took a second, his breathing had quickened, but he put you down, not softly, you had to get your balance back. 

You frowned at him. A staring match starting. 

"Sparrow." Laswell reasoned. 

You looked at her. 

"Why are you here? How did you even?" She asked. 

"It's. My. Mission. My house Kate." You explained. Your voice kept at a normal level, even though rage coursed through your mind. 

She opened her mouth but your cut her off. 

"It's my life on the line." She looked taken aback. "Don't keep me out of this." 

She seemed to think for a second. Finally, she nodded slightly. You relaxed your shoulders, turning to look at Ghost. He truly looked furious. But so were you. You stuck your tongue out at him. 

"You little-" 

You turned your back on him turning to Laswell. 

"The place was supposed to be trashed." You noted. 

For a second hey eyes faltered. You immediately understood. Your room. You headed down the hall, stepping inside your bedroom. You weren't prepared for what you saw. The tags on the walls, the room completely trashed. Your belongings everywhere, on the floor, broken or ripped apart. You didn't even have to guess. The words 'you're mine birdie' had been spray painted all over the walls. You looked to the floor, kicking the head of one of your stuffed animals that seemed to be missing his body. 

"Are you alright?" Kate asked, showing up next to you. 

You shrugged. 

"It's just some objects. I'm fine. It's going to take forever to fix it though." 

You walked to your built PC, completely broken. 

"This, however, breaks my heart." 

She chuckled. 

"We'll pay for a new one. I promise." 

You smiled at her. You checked the broken components. Your hard drive was still there. Nothing had been stolen. This was just for show. 

"Anything?" She asked. 

"Nothing. Nothing's been stolen. This was on purpose, to send a message." You said. 

She sighed. 

"The question now is, was it him or did he have another puppet?" She wondered.

Ghost walked in. For some reason. You knew you were fucked. And not in a good way. 

"May I take her now? I'd like to have a chat with her in the bathroom" He asked. 

You looked panicked, looking at Kate for help. She grinned. 

"Absolutely. She's all yours lieutenant." 

"What?" You said, voice barely above normal. You tried not to force your voice and you hated it.

"What? You thought we'd leave you unpunished?" She asked. 

"What the fu-" 

You didn't have time to finish, in two steps he crossed the space in between you two grabbing your wrist and dragging you with him. Kate pretended to look away at something much more interesting.

"Traitor!" You threw as you exited the room.

Your heart beat rose as you approached the bathroom. You felt everyone's gaze as you were shoved inside, Ghost behind you. You turned around to look at him, mouth gasping as you saw him lock the door.

When his eyes met yours you shivered. You didn't exactly know if it was fear or anticipation.  He crossed his arms over his chest. He had rolled up his sleeves, his muscles flexing. 

"You don't fucking listen." 

You gazed back into his eyes. 

"For the past week, you've been bratting non-stop." He stepped forward, now inches from you. 

You frowned, trying to have some kind of composure in front of him. 

"What's wrong bunny? Cat got your tongue?" 

God you felt yourself melt. Bunny… the last time he called you like that was in the hospital. 

"I'm sure I saw it moments ago in the living room though. Such a big mouth yet very little action. Once it's only the two of us, you melt down"  

That motherf-

"Fuck you Ghost." You spat, mouth running faster than your brain.

He chuckled. A very dark one. He grabbed your wrists, made your arms fold behind your back and twisted you so you were back to him, staring into the bathroom mirror. He was right behind you staring right back at you. Your cheeks burned. Fuck… 

"You want my attention. That's what you fucking want." He spoke in a low grunt, right next to your ear. You closed your eyes. 

"Eyes on me." He ordered. 

You opened them looking at him in the mirror.

"Good girl." He praised. "If you want attention, now you have it. You have my whole attention." He growled. 

He held your wrist with one hand only. Fuck he was so big compared to you. His other hand rose to your mouth. 

"Bite it. Take off my glove." 

You frowned. 

"If I have to repeat myself, you're going to regret it." He warned. 

You opened your mouth slowly. His clothed fingers touching your lips. You grabbed the fabric in between your teeth and he wiggled his hand out. He grabbed it as you let it drop. 

"See. You can be such a good girl. But no. All you wanted was my attention. You couldn't fucking handle seeing me right there not touching you." 

The more he spoke the warmer you felt. What was he doing? What was happening… 

"S-simon…" you let out. 

"Wrong. Try again."

Fuck… 

"Ghost…" you whined. 

"Yes. Ghost. I told you it was going to be like this. That I was going to be professional." He explained.

His naked fingers reached your lips again. 

"Open." 

You blushed, eyes widening a bit. 

"Bunny." He warned. 

Your lips parted slowly. 

"Stick your tongue out. Go on. You seem to like doing it in front of everyone, so do it for me." 

You obeyed. Two of his fingers touched your tongue, softly applying pressure. The rest of his hand enveloping your chin.

You whined. 

"I told you. I warned you. And yet you walk around half fucking naked in front of my men just to rile me up." He hissed. 

His hand lingered there. The more your mouth was open, the harder it was to swallow, his fingers getting wetter by the second. 

"My mind is fucking stuck in killing mode. And you rile me up bunny? Congratulations, you might be the only one to manage to fucking turn on Ghost." 

You couldn't believe it. You had turned him on. You had been torturing him. Fuck, the way he looked at you. 

"Do you know how many times I wanted to bend you over the table and fuck you in front of everyone? Just to fucking show them who you belong to?" 

You bent your back, trying to grind unto him, his little confession having much more effect on you than you wanted. However he didn't allow it, backing off without letting you go. 

"Oh no little bunny. Do you like that thought?" He chuckled again. 

You were obviously drooling all over his hand. Not that it seemed to bother him. 

"Fuck… look at you little one. So fucking pretty for me. So obedient. The only reason I'm not deep throating you with my fingers, that I'm not wrapping my hand around your pretty neck, it's that it's too soon. I don't want to hurt my little doll." 

Ok. Now you were wet. That asshole was torturing you just like you did to him. You closed your eyes, whining again. 

"Look. At. Me." He ordered again. 

You obeyed. You looked at him, pleading. You didn't even know what you were pleading for.

"Are you going to be a good girl now? Are you going to behave for me?" He asked in a vanilla voice that contrasted a lot with the way he was holding you. 

You whined again, trying to nod your head. 

"Fuck. Look what mess you made of my hand… go on. Suck on my fingers." 

You looked a bit shocked again but he held your gaze. Your lips wrapped around him as you retracted your tongue. You sucked softly, using your tongue to lick your saliva off his fingers. 

"Fuck bunny… such a good girl." 

The way he praised you, his own voice laced with desire. This situation had escalated quickly.

He took back his finger, wiping your chin. He sighed. His now free hand traveled to your waist, his arm now wrapping around it. The other let go of your wrists, letting you bring your arms back to your chest. He hugged you tightly from behind, hiding his face in your neck. 

"I-I'm sorry…" 

You blinked. Did you really hear that? 

"Ghost…" 

"I'm sorry… I… got off track." 

You smiled. 

"It's ok… it was… nice" you tried. 

He looked back up at the mirror. 

"Really. I trust you. You… can do those things to me…" you looked away. You couldn't hold his gaze anymore. What the hell were you saying? 

"Don't say shit like that bunny… I'm gonna loose my fucking mind with you. I'm on mission fuck." 

His embrace tightened, his hands traveling a bit closer to places you craved. You had been wanting this. His arms. Being in his hold. This was even more than you had wished for. 

Your phone buzzed. You couldn't see the screen but he did. And whatever he read there, brought him back to reality. 

"God fucking damn it!" He cursed. 

That woke you up too. He let go of you and headed out of the door. You blinked. You took your phone in your hand. 

Hi birdie, I'm coming.

What the? You opened the message log. How? How did he get so close now? Another message showed. 

The little bird, no longer singing, was sad. The wolf took pity and swore to protect the birdie. The cat, growing even more jealous, swore that he'd take her from him. 

You shivered. You had to be honest. That guy was frightening. A complete psycho. And he just ruined your moment so fuck him. You walked out, everyone was already running everywhere. 

"Sparrow, you're going back to base right now." Price announced. 

You nodded, not wanting to discuss this. You choose your battles and this wasn't one you wanted to win. Laswell walked to you, hand forward asking for your phone. You gave it to her for her to read the message that clearly Ghost had already told everyone about. She cursed loudly. 

"Hansen, Soap take her back to base." 

Hansen? Peter was here? You looked at him smiling a bit as he clearly looked anxious. 

"Wait. I'll take her." Ghost interrupted. 

"No. I need you somewhere else lieutenant. They can perfectly bring her to safety." She refused. 

Ghost looked annoyed, his hands turning into fists. 

"I'll be with her LT. I'm keeping her safe." Soap said. 

It warmed your heart. Peter simply nodded, still looking on the verge of having a panic attack. 

"Good. Now go!" Laswell ordered. 

You smiled at Ghost as you followed Soap and Peter out. 

You headed down the stairs to the parking lot, the two men closely watching you and your surroundings. 

"We can take my car" Peter offered. 

Soap frowned but nodded. Peter unlocked his car, opening the backdoor for you. You hopped in as he closed the door. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. You wanted this to end. You needed your calm, boring life back. You wanted to enjoy Simon and continue whatever was happening between the both of you. You also wanted to finally sit down with him and ask him what he truly wanted from you, hoping that he wanted you to be his officially. You needed to hear him say it. 

You opened your eyes back as the car shook a bit. Peter had sat in the driver's seat, turning the car on. 

"Where's Soap?" You asked. 

"The lieutenant called him back." Peter said. 

Really? That was weird… Ghost wouldn't have let you alone with Peter. 

The car moved as you started to head out of the parking spot. You turned in your seat watching through the back window. You felt your heart fall into an abyss when you saw Soap lying on the ground. 

"What the fuck?!" You yelled, too loud for your sore throat. 

You turned back to Peter. He looked different. A new confidence in him that was unfamiliar. 

"Don't worry. He's not dead. Just napping." 

You were confused and suddenly terrified. Did darkends also blackmail Peter ?

"Peter, whatever that guy is blackmailing you with, I can help you. Please." You tried to reason him. 

He laughed. 

"You're adorable. Really. I can't wait to have you all to myself birdie." 

And it clicked. The puzzle pieces finally fit together. How was this even possible? Simon was right. You didn't recognize your own voice as you stated the obvious.

"You're darkends."

____

A/N: my foreshadowing is shit, and ya'll are too smart

[noyasboxdye]

Notes: Welcome to the first day of kinktober this doesn't have a lot of knife play bc i don't really know how to write for it but i tried my best :)

Word Count: 2,016

Pairing: Tendou Satori x Male! Reader

Warnings: Yandere themes, home invasion(?), knife play, CNC (?), death threats, praise, oral sex (reader receiving), power bottom tendou.

Tendou Satori loved you. He thought you knew. You obviously didn't thought with the way you were hugging and laughing with Ushijima. To be fair though he hadn't confessed. But you still should've known! After all the things he's done for you he can't believe you would betray him like this.

Going out to coffee with him and alone at that! Something could've happened to you. He could've hurt you and he still could. But you were to naive. He couldn't blame you honestly nor could he get mad. For several reasons the main one being that he cared to much. The other being that you couldn't help it after all you were just cute little y/n.

So when he'd saw you in that coffee shop with Ushijima letting him touch you like that he'd decided to do something. He had to do something bigger to let you know you were his. Obviously being a gentleman along with the occasional flirting wasn't doing that. How could you know though because once again you were naive.

He'd just have to come on a little stronger. He couldn't do that now thought you both had class. And his class was out of your way so he'd just have to wait till you got home. Oh he was so excited! The day dragged on for the both of you. He couldn't stop thinking about how excited you'd be to see him. He'd decided to wait until you got home to coming in.

You'd gotten home from school hanging your coat in the closet setting your bag down on the table and going into your room. Getting undress and wrapping your towel around yourself taking your soaps into the bathroom. Turning the shower water on and putting your shower cap on. Getting in the shower and sitting under the water.

Your muscles relaxing under the hot water. Allowing yourself to calm down. Tendou on the other hand was tense. He was here now! He couldn't figure out how to get in though. He didn't want to set off your alarm and have you possibly hear him. But he couldn't think of another way in. Your window might work but they were usually closed and he couldn't go through the front.

The neighbours could see and call the cops. Your room window should work though. You usually sleep with them open because sleeping in the cold with the heat on is easier. Going to the side of the house and seeing that the window he climbed onto of the patio table. Climbing his way into the window. Peaking into the bathroom to make sure you were in the shower. Seeing that you were in the shower.

"Perfect they're getting all clean for me." he thinks sneaking past the door as quietly as he can before making his way into the kitchen. Grabbing a (bigger) knife. He was hoping he wouldn't have to use it. He was hoping you would be just excited to see him here as he was you. Because he knew you loved him and you knew he loved you. You just didn't think straight sometimes.

A perfect example would be this morning before class. You went on a little coffee date with Ushijima. You loved him he just had to remind you of how much you did. And he would do just that. He would make sure that you never forgot about either of your love ever again. Going back into your bedroom. Taking off all of his outer wear.

Cleaning himself up a bit wiping himself off and fixing his disheveled shirt. Making himself comfortable on the bed patiently waiting for you to come in. Trying to decide what to say, how to say it, and when. He knew you'd be a little startled by him coming unannounced but you'd also be delighted. After all who wouldn't be delighted to see their love surprise them at home.

Especially after a stressful day at school. It was a while before you'd finally got back into your room and when you did you were definitely surprised. He'd just been sitting there trying to explain himself. While you were yelling at him to get out.

He'd sounded like a mad man to you and to make matters worse he had a knife near him! You'd started hitting and kicking after he grabbed you. Pushing him off of you and running to the bed so that you could grab the knife. But he'd gotten a hold of you and the knife first. He never thought he would have to but he pinned you down and pressed the knife to your throat.

Pushing your hands above your head and into the mattress before putting his thigh in between your legs against your groin. You'd whimpered a bit and prayed that he didn't hear you but he did. A smile grew at the noise you let out. You'd sounded so heavenly. Like music to his ears!

He wanted- no needed to hear more. He had to hear more of those pretty little sounds again. And louder. He wanted to hear you say his name in that way. He had to hear it. He'd do anything he could to hear it again. So he did it again. He pressed his knee into your groin. Another whimper falling from your lips as he pressed into you.

You didn't know if it was because of the pressure or the fact that he had a knife to your throat that was making you feel this way and you hated it. But you loved it as well. The thought of your life being in such danger made your stomach curl. It made you crave him. You unconsciously grind into his thigh as you think about the situation more. More whimpers and now moans leaving you.

Leaning down Tendou kissed you lifting the knife from your throat. Setting it down on your bed and kissing his way down to your neck. Sucking and nipping at the skin. You wrap your arms around him as he makes his way down your neck. Taking your shirt off and immediately finding his way back to you lips and neck.

Kissing down towards your chest. Grazing his hand against your nipple testing the waters. His stomach did flips as he heard you whimper his name. He'd dreamed about this on numerous occasions and he always knew what to do when he'd done it with other people. But now that he'd actually had you in his grasp, and was doing these things with you he didn't know what to do.

You were so perfect with the way you grabbed at the nape of his neck toying with the little hairs, softly moaning his name in his ear, and wrapping your legs around his. He needed more though, he needed to be in you. And with the way you grinder your hips against him you were practically begging him to fuck you. And who was he to deny you a good fucking?

If you wanted to be fucked that's what you would get. Kissing his way back up your body he removes his lips sitting up before taking off his shirt and removing his pants. He'd never been more eager for something in his life! "Tendou- baby please." you moan reaching out for him pulling him back down to you stroking his cock through his boxers.

He let out a deep groan at the feeling. Pulling him self away once again to pull your pants down, dragging your boxers down with them. Throwing them in a random corner of the room and forgetting about them as he strokes your cock. "mmm- Tendou- fuck... please." you say your back arching off of the bed slightly. "Nuhuh you got to tell me what you want hun alright...? Use your big boy words baby." he says as he rests his head back into the crook of your neck, sucking and biting on the skin.

He smiled at the sight. His hand moving faster making you stutter out even more nonsense than before. "Fu- fuck me-! Tendou please fuck me." you say getting impatient, humping at the air as if it'll give you the relief you need. "Good boy! Using your big boy words for daddy!" he says smiling at you. You moaned at his words.

Finally he stood up grabbing the lube out of his jacket pocket and pouring a generous amount onto his hand before strolling your dick once again. Making sure that your dick was wet enough. Straddling your lap and lifting his hips he slowly sunk himself down on your length. A series of moans leaving past his lips as he reached the base, slowly grinding against you as he waiting for himself to get used to your length.

Slowly bouncing on you as he pinched and twisted at your nipples. High pitched moans coming from you as you begged him to go faster, trying to thrust your hips up to meet him. You reached over at nothing his head following your hand as he bounced on your dick. "Oh can't have you getting to this now came we darling?" he says tauntingly as he rolling his hips making a point to grind down harder and fit more of you into him.

You felt him squeeze at the base of your cock and it made you go wild. "Fuc- Tendou! Please!" you moan. He rolled his hips as he bent down to kiss you. You were becoming so desperate for him. You'd try and fuck up into him but every time you tried he'd just press the knife into your neck.

"Mm~ I guess I can give you what you want... just use your big boy words for me baby? Please?" he says sucking on your chest. "Fuc- fuck me! Please- please fuck me." you say. A smile pulls at the ends of his lips as he kisses your forehead resuming his previous pace. "Mh-m shit! You feel so good." you moan.

He rested his hand on your chest while the other held onto the knife, applying pressure to your neck with it every few minutes. "Mm- daddy 'm gonna cum~" you say gripping onto the bedsheets your knuckles going white. "No you aren't baby. You're going to hold it for daddy like a good slut aren't you?

Wouldn't want the knife to slip and cut up your throat now would we..?" he says pressing the cold metal further into your warmer skin. Chills going down your spine, and your cock twitching inside of him at the idea. "N- no sir." you whined as he fucked himself onto you again. "Good boy." he says.

Dragging himself up and down on your length as moans fell from his lips. Throwing his head back as he came to a full stop whimpering as his cock twitched beads of precum leaking from the tip. "Fuck~" he moans softly as he starts bouncing again. Not noticing that the knife was starting to pierce your skin tiny beads of blood making their way to the surface of your neck.

The euphoric feeling of your warm thick length in him while he listened to your pretty little whimpers and moans had him on cloud nine. "Mmpf- fuck i'm gonna cum!" you exclaim. "Ye- yeah me too- fUck~!" he moans as you fuck yourself up into him his movements coming to a halt as his hand grips at your skin dragging his nails down your chest as he throws his head back, his warm seed spilling all over your stomach.

"Daddy- daddy please, please let me cum!" you beg tears pricking your eyes. Getting off of you and immediately going down to put your dick in his mouth. Sucking on the tip while he uses his hands to get to the rest of you. "Fuck fuck fuck-" you say cutting yourself off as you cum. Tendou hums softly smiling to himself as he swallows your cum, licking any extra off of you to make sure it doesn't go to waist.

[thiserichann]

cookies and cream - lee jeno

reader x jeno

genre: smut, strangers to fuck buddies, humor if you squint hard enough

word count: 4k-ish

warnings: recklessness (she met with a stranger online, don’t do it kids) excessive lying, 18+ scenes that includes: oral (f receiving) face riding, soft dom!jeno?

This is merely a work of fiction and is not meant to hurt the image of Jeno and NCT. Again, don’t be as reckless as OP. This was just a fantasy of mine that I’ve been dying to get out of my system.

Holy fuck.

That's the only word that you've managed to utter when you decided to check your messages that morning.

You got bored in the middle of the class and decided to sneak a peek on your phone to pass the time. The class is recorded anyways so you can always just go back to the parts of the lessons that you've missed.

But holy fuck.

You never expected to see THAT so early in the morning.

"Miss Y/N?"

You snapped back to reality and stopped malfunctioning for a second when somebody called your name. Everyone including your professor remained quiet and all eyes are on you.

"Oh. Sir what’s the question again?"

You answered nervously as you tried to review your notes and backtrack on what he is discussing a few moments ago.

"I see that you're distracted in the middle of my class again. Mind sharing what you're occupied with?"

"Uhm. I was watching KPOP fancams, sir."

"Fancams won't get you into law school, Miss Y/N. Phones off please."

You tucked your phone back to your pocket and never picked it up again since. The professor started blabbering again but no information is being retained on your head. It stayed that way at your other classes.

You wished you were looking at some KPOP fancams earlier. You’ve watched fancams at class before and got away with it unscathed.

Oh no. It was a goddamn dick pic.

A good one, too.

It was from a guy that you met in a kink site a few days ago. You created the account out of boredom and expected nothing to come out from it. It’s all the flirting and sexting without all the unnecessary commitment

It only took you a few minutes to set up an account. For some privacy, you made a random birthdate and a random nickname, because like hell would you share your real information to these people. You also picked a racy picture of a lady that looked a bit like you and passed it off as your own.

Within minutes, your inbox is flooded with messages. Most of them, however, are from men who are old enough to be your father.

Well, you were bored, so you entertained everyone and then went on back to your boring, vanilla life. A few political history and theory books later, you went back to see which ones messaged you on the site.

And that's where you've met him.

The most gorgeous piece of meat alive.

He seems like a nice guy. He introduced himself as LJ and your age aren’t that far off from each other. LJ is the only one who actually engaged in conversation besides "want to fuck?" or "are you horny?"

As soon as you started messaging back and forth, you scrolled on his profile to see what he looks like. The only thing is, his profile looked a whole lot like those high fashion male underwear photoshoots.

It was an array topless pictures (presumably his, you just can’t be bothered to check if it is actually his). It featured his sculpted abs and biceps, cropped up all the way to his full lips. Despite not seeing his whole face, you knew very well that he’s a hunk. To say you were intrigued is an understatement.

Since then, you've been talking back and forth through Snapchat (your secret one because you're not stupid) and sent him actual pictures of yourself, completely omitting the face. You took one from your bed, your bathtub, and probably every part of your house that you felt is sexy enough to be included on the pics.

You can't tell him if it's him or the repressed sexual urges finally manifesting itself after more than a year of not getting laid, but every text to and from him made your heart race. It was something that you looked forward to every hour everyday.

Hours went by that you totally forgot leaving him on read. You climbed up to your bed to rest your back to the headboard and opened your unread messages.

You: Hey svlr. School stuff.

  He opened the chat and started typing right away.

  LJ: Oh good. I thought I did something wrong to upset you.

You: Not at all. I loved the pic by the way. It literally knocked my socks off.

LJ: Just the socks?

You: You can take the rest of it off yourself ;)

You scoffed. The flirty banter has always been there ever since you started talking but nothing really came out of it.

LJ: If only I could :(

You: I know. Covid’s a bitch.

You set your phone aside for a second to go to the bathroom. On your way, you picked up some snacks at the fridge and sat back down to your bed, only to find your phone blowing up.

LJ: If you're down maybe we could meet

LJ: It's totally fine if you don't want to

LJ: I just made it weird, didn't I?

LJ: I'm so sorry I brought it up in the first place

LJ: I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable

LJ: Hello?

LJ: I'm really sorry

You: Chill. I'm right here

You: I just went to the bathroom

LJ: Oh

You: I'd be lying if I said I don't want to meet you as well

You: Well... I wouldn't write off the idea

You: But with the Covid

LJ: Thoughts?

You: I don't think it's a great idea

The screen says Seen right at the bottom but it took him a couple more minutes before finally replying.

LJ: I understand

LJ: But in case you change your mind, I'll leave the time and place up to you

LJ: I’ll take care of the rest

LJ: Deal?

You: I'll sleep on it.

You: Speaking of sleep, I gotta go. Morning class.

LJ: Okay. I guess this is good night then

You didn't, in fact, talk to him the day after.

You'd be lying if you said that you didn't want to see him and his abs in real life. But as someone who overthinks a lot, you just can't shake off the risk.

You: Good night. Talk to you tomorrow.

What if he's not really the guy in the pics? Or he’s psycho in real life? What if he's infected the virus?

You sighed.

Why must some global pandemic ruin your sex life?

You waited until the end of the day before you finally replied to LJ. The last thing that he texted was a brief good morning from earlier in the day and nothing else. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy, totally not worth ghosting, and you actually liked talking to him as a friend that you can share your sentiments with.

With your guilt finally eating you up, you took a break from your assigned readings and sat back at your bed to rest for the day. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute, thinking of something to say to him. It took you a few tries before finally hitting the send button.

You: So, I thought about it

LJ: And?

You: I need to know I can trust you

LJ: Okay. How?

You: I don’t know. Send me a proof that you’re real. Get tested?

You: Is that fine with you?

Within a split second, he sent his reply.

He actually did it.

You couldn’t believe it but he actually did it.

LJ: Consider it done.

He got tested for physical, including the virus test, and passed with flying colors. He even sent you a vid of him inside a medical clinic.

He just sent the uncensored results this morning where you can clearly see his real name.

Lee Jeno.

LJ.

Seems legit.

Well, the uncreative nickname shouldn’t matter now because the results meant only one thing.

You’re gonna have to push through with your promise.

You got ready around noon that day. You can’t remember the last time that you actually got ready to meet someone that’s not a delivery guy or a relative passing on something to your family.

As someone who overthinks a lot, you actually got everything covered. You picked a place near a restaurant to eat. The police station is just a few blocks away just in case something happens, and right in front of a library…

“Where’re are you off to?”

You raised your backpack to show to your mother.

“I’m off to the library. I needed to get these renewed. Maybe pick up a novel or two.”

She looks at you from head to toe, eyeing that incredibly loose hoodie, faded denim jeans, some worn out sneakers that looked like it’s supposed to be thrown away years ago and a medical mask that covers about ¾ of your bare face. It’s just your usual attire whenever you go out for errands.

She just nodded and went back to watching her favorite soap opera.

“It’s nice that you’re out of your room for once. Take some cookies from the kitchen so you’ll have something to eat in case you get hungry.”

… as an alibi to get away from your strict parents.

As soon as you left the door and made sure that you’re out of sight, you found the nearest public toilet and grabbed a whole other outfit from your backpack. The hoodie is replaced by a white, ruffled see-through blouse and you ditched the jeans for a tight skirt that’s at least four inches above your knees. You tousled your hair a little bit and put on some powder and tiny hint of lipstick before putting your facemask back on again.

It’s been a while since you’ve done an elaborate scheme like this. Your skills got a little bit rusty, but they always work.

Sometimes you wonder if you’re really meant to be lawyer or a criminal instead.

You stepped out of the toilet and blended right back into society.

Now all you have to do is find wherever the hell LJ is.

Jeno sat anxiously as he waited for you right inside the café. He’s on his fourth cup of coffee but it didn’t do anything to calm his nerves down (geez I wonder why).

You: I’m almost at the café.

He’s been staring at his phone the whole time. Once he received your message, which is a pic of you in the bathroom after the outfit change, he almost choked on his drink.

This message sent him on a panic as he turned his camera on to see how he looked. He did some minor adjustments to his hair and he wiped off his eyeglasses clean with the sleeves of his hoodie (which did nothing for him by the way) and then casually sat down and played it off cool like he hasn’t been waiting for you for over an hour.

On your perspective, you walked inside the café and looked around for LJ. Fortunately, there was only guy inside the café, twiddling with his phone on his hands and as he kept on peeking through the glass windows as if he’s looking for someone.

From afar, he actually looked really cute. His appearance, a shy, nerdy dude with glasses, looked way off from the fuckboy image that you expected him to have in reference to the messages that you’ve been getting from him.

It’s always the quiet ones that are kinky. You should know, you are one.

You walked over to his table and tapped his shoulders to get his attention.

He froze for a moment before he finally managed to turn around and face you.

“You’re actually here.”

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

tap tap tap tap

The room is so quiet that the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heels tapping against the tiled floor. You can say that that is one of your observable annoying habits tapping your foot on the floor when you're a nervous wreck.

Sighing in retaliation, you removed your hoodie, fanning yourself as you tried to relax and get comfy on the hotel couch (which should be comfortable enough since you paid a shit ton of money on that room), switching the TV on to get your mind off of things. The lackluster array of shitty sitcoms didn’t distract you at all, but it instead reminded you of the reasons why you’re in that room in the first place.

Having nothing to do to pass the time, you paced back and forth in the room, finally sitting down once you realized that it looks way worse than you just tapping your foot. You folded your arms right across your chest, looking at the watch from time to time but the hands of the clock seem to be moving slower the more you stare at it.

Quarantine started almost a year ago and it's been very hard for you. Sexually. It's been almost a year since you've been touched by a man and you’re more than ready to jump on anyone’s dick at any this point,

Too bad that that dick is taking his sweet time in the bathroom.

tap tap tap tap

Your foot found its rhythm once again, only this time, you’re not nervous anymore. Your patience is wearing thin.

As if summoned by the constant tapping, the guy comes out of the bathroom, just casually drying himself while wearing nothing but the towel dangerously hanging on his waist and a boyish smile on his lips.

No biggie.

"Hey."

Suddenly, you’re not tapping anymore.

Head empty, just thoughts of a hot guy patting down a towel all over his toned body.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait for too long.”

He spoke, tossing aside the towel on his hands on the sofa, finally giving you a full view of him and all his glory.

You must admit, you’re skeptical at first. The guy that’s been sending you faceless thirst traps just days ago, telling you how he’d fuck you senseless looked a lot different from the guy who entered the hotel room just a moment ago.

He came in wearing those black oversized hoodies that did a great job in hiding his best features. His hair was a bit long for your taste, covering half of his face while the face mask hid the other.

But this man right here in front you, he’s Adonis.

You unconsciously bit your lower lip, earning a chuckle from the guy.

“I’m guessing that you’d like to start now?”

You nodded, the tension and awkwardness rendering you unable to speak.

He smiles as he takes the remote from you, turning off the television because the main show is about to start.

You started to tense up again, eyes wide as you realized that he’s now right beside you, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he sat down. He leans over, soft lips coming into contact with your exposed neck and shoulders, landing small pecks all over.

You sat there breathless as he slowly ran his fingers to the side of your thighs, tracing circles at it while giving small, reassuring kisses on your neck and shoulders. It’s as if he’s asking you for your consent, waiting for you to open up to him before he makes a move.

He got his answer when you turned around to face him, running your fingers into his cheeks before cupping his face, your lips finally touching his. He moved in the same pace as earlier, slow and calculating. You got a bit impatient once again, biting his lower lips gently to let him know that he can do more.

He grabbed you by the waist and successfully placed you on top of him. The kiss got even more sloppy as you ran your hands through nape, then into his soft locks. His hands travelled once again, finger running through legs again, stopping as soon as he reached the hem of your skirt, flipping it up to reveal the thin lace material that barely covered your core. You took that as initiative to remove the towel on his waist and grinded against his growing member, the friction and heat enough to earn a groan out of him.

He held your waist once again, firmly this time, halting your movement completely.

You broke away from the kiss, staring him in the eyes to read his face.

“Something wrong?”

“Hold tight.”

You were about to ask about what hold tight mean, but your arms cling unto him involuntarily as he lifts the both of you out of the sofa.

Jeno laid you gently in the bed, making sure not to break eye contact as he does so. He looked like he's about to eat you alive, which is enough to send flush to your cheeks.

“I would’ve loved to bend you over that sofa, but I think it’s just proper that our first time will be on the bed.”

"God. You're beautiful."

He then ran his fingers towards the thin fabric of your blouse, feeling every part of your torso like he's memorizing every detail of it. His hands then travelled in your chest, squeezing the swell of your breasts on each hand, fingers shaking as he does so. It felt like an artist admiring his delicate work of art.

He situated himself between your legs, taking a moment to admire you first before doing anything else.

He started to run his hand on your cleavage and stopped on the uppermost button of your blouse, taking his time to remove all of them and placing a kisses at the exposed skin. After all of the buttons are taken care of, you lifted your body up and slid off the fabric. Your black lacy bra finally made its appearance. You took the liberty of taking that off too, as slow and as you possibly can.

 Jeno just stared at your body in awe, breathing heavily as his eyes scanned your naked glory.

 "Gorgeous."

He said under this breath before leaning down to claim your lips once again. You're turned on by how much attention he's giving your body now. You're usually loud in bed but his gestures are making you bashful. You've never felt this beautiful before.

You can feel his hands trembling as it travels all over your body, his kisses getting even more needy. There was moans of satisfaction every time he would lick your lips. Jeno was kissing you like you were oxygen and he needed to breath.

His hands travelled south, running across your thigh and your now aching core. You're about to remove your skirt and underwear but he stopped your hands midway.

"Keep it."

He took your hands away from your skirt and placed them just above your head.

"Just sit there and relax baby. Let me treat you."

You did just like he told you and gave him full control of your body.

"Good girl."

His lips brushed your ears, whispering sweet nothings about how beautiful you are under him. His kisses then went down to your neck, using his tongue and teeth, marking everything he can get his mouth on with his saliva. Meanwhile, his hands finally touched you down there, massaging your still clothed wetness.

His middle and index finger felt your slit, moving it in swift motion in search for your clit.

"Oh my god. That's it."

You gasped as his fingers finally hit the right spot, tossing your head back as his fingers made circles at your bundle or nerves.

You opened your legs more, leaning on your arms on your back, head tossed back and eyes closed as you feel your impending orgasm.

He dipped his hand inside your underwear and collected some of your essence with his fingers. The mental picture of him licking his fingers deliciously is enough to get you off for weeks.

It didn't take long before he took your panties off and his ducked his head down. He opened your legs once again and licked one long stripe on your core, making sure to taste all of you. You sat there and watch as he hungrily takes all of you in his mouth, acting like your pussy is a full course meal and he's been starving for years.

Within moments, you've become a moaning, toe curled mess. You ran your fingers to his blonde hair, guiding him on how to move his tongue and fingers on you. At one point, he bit some of your sensitive skin, making you scream a string of curses under your breath.

"Stop stop stop."

You grab a fistful of his hair and he paused from what he was doing. You pushed him gently away from you, leaving him staring at you confusedly. The confusion didn't last long when you flipped your current position, you're now on top.

"Can I ride your face?"

At this point, you're bold and horny enough to use your words and ask him. He just nodded, sliding himself from underneath you and went back to eating you like a champ. You grabbed his hands and placed them across your chest, squeezing your breasts to send him a message. He was quick to pick up and followed suit, pinching your nipples right in between fingers while your ride his face to orgasm.

"Shit. I'm coming..."

  You writhed from above him as you come undone. Your body felt cold all over. Your eyes are ringing, feeling dizzy as you almost passed out while you bucked your hips a few more times to milk your release.

You didn’t have time to recover when you heard your phone ringing from outside. Your legs felt a little shaky and you almost tumbled and hit your head in the wall if Jeno didn’t help you get up. You  sat down on the floor, butt-ass naked as you frantically searched for your phone from under all of your stuff before you finally pressed the answer button.

“Yes mom?”

“Where have you been? Your father’s been looking for you at the library. He’s picking you up on your way home.”

You buried your head on the couch to shake off the buzzing feeling on your head. You placed a pillow on your body while you searched for your discarded clothes all over the hotel room.

“Oh yeah. I went to the café and got something to eat. Tell Dad I’ll meet him outside the library.”

“Okay sweetie. Can you pick up some groceries on your way back? I’ll text you the list.”

“Yeah mom. Bye.”

You breathe a sigh of relief as you started putting on the outfit that you wore when you left home.

“Where are you going?”

Jeno reluctantly got dressed as well, his shy demeanor came back as soon as he wore his glasses and fixed his hair.

“I got to go, Jeno. I’m sorry that I’m leaving in such a bad time…”

You went over to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I promise to make it up to you next time, okay? I’d love to meet you again.”

You grabbed a paper bag from your backpack and handed it to him, waving as you bolted out the door.

After fixing his things, he sat down for a moment and took a quick peek inside the package that you left him.

It was a ziplock bag of full of cookies and a whole other treat.

You left him your two-piece lace lingerie.

To be continued.

[aenngelic]

I will protect her at all costs (chapter 2)

Disclaimer: please don’t hate me for it, if you don’t ship them please just don’t read it ok 🥲

contains: slow burn, Sniper falling in love with Kuon, Snipers view/thoughts, sexual fantasies, nudity, lemon stuff overall

It is a very long chapter I’m sorry

Note: please feel free to message me if you have certain romantic moments to include in the story! (Already running out of ideas oops)

It did not take long for us to find a bag of supplies. It was on a coffee table in some sort of lobby area. It seemed as if this building probably was meant to represent some kind of hotel, which I thought was a good thing, because that meant that there would be beds and showers to be found here as well. To our surprise, the bag contained mostly candy, which I wouldn't interpret as a balanced meal. However, the girl seemed to like this finding. It was only a matter of minutes before the chocolate residue stained the corners of my companion's mouth in a brown color. However, I preferred to smoke a cigarette at first and watch the girl devour her own body weight in the form of chocolate.

" This is fantastic! It feels like forever since I last ate chocolate! I faintly remember dieting before I entered this world too, so this must have been probably weeks since I held chocolate in my hand." Kuon said with delight. It was amusing to watch her enjoy sweets. Kuon's carelessness may be a burden at times, but her innocent character makes up for it.

" you partly remember your life prior to this, don't you?"

" Yes, not much to be honest. I'm sorry you can't," Kuon replied in a concerned voice.

"Tell me about it."

She gave me a visibly puzzled look before straightening her back so that she was sitting as straight as a candle on the sofa across from me, staring at her hands somewhat lost in thought. She seemed uncomfortable that I had now brought up this topic. Unfortunately, I could not take back my question. "Well," she began, "to be honest,the life I remember has not been the greatest, I guess." Kuon abruptly shook her head. " That's not true either. I was born into a rich family and had many privileges. My father owned a large company and had very high expectations of me from the very beginning. One day I was supposed to take it over. I was probably pretty lucky compared to other people. I was probably a big disappointment for him. My character was just not strong enough in his eyes. I also remember not really having any friends either, because I was privately educated. And anyway..." I could literally hear the lump in Kuon's throat as a tear began to stream down the girl's cheek.

" i'm sorry. You know, I didn't really mean to end up crying."

I felt my heart break once again, watching the girl grieve. I was surprised now, though, to find out that this yet seemingly uncomplicated high school student was actually carrying a lot of emotional baggage. I did not hesitate as I jumped up from my seat to calm the blue-haired girl. I really hated it like the plague when she cried. Trying to preserve my Coolness, however, I grumbled, "oh girl. What's wrong?"

I placed myself to her left, and pressed her against my shoulder while running my hand over her hair a few times. There was no way I could bring myself to face her, though. It would be too embarrassing and, after all, I was far from being the Prince Charming who would dry her tears with a silken tissue. Besides, I could not withstand the sight of her teary eyes. So there I sat, a weeping teenage girl wetting my blazer with salty drops of grief on my right, awkwardly staring off into the distance.

"It's, it's..." she stammered, not being able to form a word. "You're the first person I've been able to trust, and because of that, I'm kind of..."

She took a deep breath, "It makes me so unbelievably happy."

Almost for the second time that day, a cigarette nearly got stuck in my throat, but this time I was able to suppress my urge to cough. The girl seemed to really like me. But did I like her too? I would be lying if I said I did not care about her. And if she got killed, I could never forgive myself. It was astonishing how one could form such a strong bond with another person in such a short period of time. However, pouring out my entire feelings in front of her would not come close to the cool lifestyle I was pursuing.

" i'm also happy to have met you, Kuon.", i finally decided to answer after a moment of figuring out how to respond.

Kuon's face, which was still streaked with tears, started to smile again, which made me feel much relieved. However, it took her a while to completely stop her wailing . We remained in this position for a while, until at some point I realized that the girl had fallen asleep. Her head had lowered in the meantime even further toward the ground, so that after some time she was no longer leaning against my shoulder but much rather against my belly. When I noticed this after some time and looked down to the girl, a cute sight presented itself to me. Admittedly, on the one hand it felt nice to act as this girl's pillow. On the other hand, it triggered an immeasurable amount of embarrassment in me. But cool guys do like to take care of girls' comfort, don't they?

Therefore, I decided I'd rather not wake her up and hardly moved at all. I looked out the window to my right, watching the sunset and reflected on certain issues. I was thinking about Rika as well as the two girls we were trying to find and, of course, about Kuon and so many other things until my eyes started to close.

When I regained consciousness, the night must have settled in. Before I could even perceive my surroundings properly, I swiveled my head once to the left and once to the right and let my gaze wander through the room. Because the moon was particularly bright this night, everything around me had taken on a deep blue tone. It was so quiet around me that I could have heard a pin drop. In the next second I realized that I should not have fallen asleep in the first place. Somebody would have had to keep watch, after all! Crap! If an enemy would have come along the way, it certainly would not have been good for me and Kuon. I looked down to my thigh where the blue-haired girl was supposed to lie. I felt her place her head on my thigh at some point during the night, but when I looked down at my thigh, I could not find any girl. Where the hell was Kuon? A rational thinking person, as I was one, could of course assume that my companion did not necessarily have to be in danger, but could also have simply visited the toilet, for example. Nonetheless, my alarm bells started ringing immediately. Kuon was, after all, a young girl who, apart from the "rail gun", did not posses many possibilities for self-defense. So of course I was worried.

Without thinking much, I hopped up from the sofa, on which I had been napping a few moments before. In quick stride I wandered through the poorly lit hallway without really having a clue where I was heading. My head was foggy from the idea that the girl might be in serious danger. A few days ago, I probably would have accepted the fact that she was suddenly nowhere to be found and continued my journey. And now my stomach was already twisting at the thought of her getting in trouble.

Nevertheless, a short moment later, my heart pounding madly from the ever-repeating scenario in my head, I heard a noise at the end of the corridor. A soft, high-pitched humming was heard, drowned out by the pattering of many drops. Light emerged from the crack of a door on the left. Was she taking a shower? The feeling of relief spread through my chest, followed by some degree of annoyance. Why did the girl not wake me up? I took a few steps towards the door, but before I was about to reach for the door handle, I remembered that I should not do so. A gentleman never violates a lady's privacy. So I decided to wait.

I leaned against the local wall, one leg bent. Then I let my thoughts wander, while the pattering of the raindrops in the bathroom right next to me showed no indication of stopping anytime soon. A lady of high society must spend quite a bit of her life showering, I thought to myself. And before I knew it, the image of Kuon suddenly popped up in my head. In my imagination I pictured her body, wondering what it looked like completely naked. A bar of soap running over her plump breasts, leaving traces of foam on her soft, wet skin. A body swinging under the hot rainfall like a leaf in the wind, presenting its vivid buttocks. I wonder if she was shaved? Hardly had I been able to finish this dirty thought of mine and get mad at my filthy thinking when my ears picked up the sound of footsteps in the distance. And they were coming ominously closer.

Damn, I thought to myself and was about to reach for my rifle, only to realize that I forgot it next to the sofa where I had been sleeping. I had been so upset about her disappearance that I could seriously forget the most crucial item for our survival.What was I going to do? For a brief moment I was at a loss. Escape proved almost impossible at this point, since I was at a dead end and I could not force the approaching enemy down with any surrounding objects. Besides, if I escaped, it would only be a matter of time before the enemy would track down my helpless companion. In the next moment, almost instinctively, I reached for the door handle that led to the bathroom that Kuon had still claimed. Perhaps there were objects in the room that were suitable for fighting, or perhaps we could be lucky and not be found, I speculated in the heat of the moment. So I tore open the door and rushed into the bathroom, greeted by a hot haze that took over the entire area.

"Kuon!" I called out in a hushed tone.

Without hesitation, I pushed my way through the door that separated the shower from the rest of the bathroom as if I was walking through nothing. Until that moment, I had hardly given a thought to the circumstances of this situation. But at the latest, when finally the naked body of a schoolgirl jumped into my field of vision, I quickly realized this again. I was just about to violate Kuon's privacy. An obviously shocked girl looked towards me, that from 1 second to the other tried to cover herself desperately.

"Mr.Ma-", she was about to say, but I interrupted her raised voice by pressing my hand to her lips as quickly as possible.

While I was still in the act of stepping into the shower, I flicked the light switch in the same movement so that no sign of our presence could escape from the room. Maybe they would not find us here, I hoped at this point.

"There's someone out there," I whispered to the naked girl in front of me.

" if we are quiet, maybe we won't be found. If we are, then..."

Kuon replied to me with an unintelligible "Mmm" , which resembled the sound of a frightened gasp. My body had pressed so close to hers by now that I could feel the wetness of her skin soaking through my shirt. I had directed my face facing away from her so that I could sharpen my hearing for the footsteps I could hear. Furthermore , I did not want to add unnecessary tension to the whole situation. It was uncool enough to interfere with a naked girl taking a shower even if it was an emergency. My hand was still resting on her lips and even though I was wearing gloves and looking away, I could clearly feel the warmth building up in Kuon's cheeks. She was obviously blushing in this moment. But having her pressed against the bathroom wall while forcing my hand tightly onto her lips and not even keeping a distance of not 2 inches, I could not blame her.

For quite a while, we did not move at all. We listened closely to the footsteps, which came a little closer and finally slowly moved away from us again. Temporarily it was even so quiet in this bathroom that we could hear each other breathing. Kuon's breathing was fast and almost verged on hyperventilation in this situation. Because there was hardly any distance between our bodies, I could literally feel her chest rising and falling in short intervals. With each rise, her breasts brushed my upper body a slight bit. I tried, as always, to keep my composure and block out the fact that Kuon was completely naked. Only when several minutes had passed did my posture loosen and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, we should be safe for now," I stated and let go of the girl.

I flipped the light switch and had to swallow.

Kuon had been naked before too, but it was only now that the danger was gone that I could really comprehend this fact. She had tried to cover her breasts with her hands and had simultaneously crossed her legs, looking down with a shameful expression on her face. However, the concealment attempt seemed to be unsuccessful for her. Although I only caught a glimpse of her appearance before I turned away from her as quickly as possible, I saw her entire beauty for a moment.Her breasts were in relation to her otherwise so petite body, large and plump. She had a narrow waist and perfectly shaped legs, in combination with her smooth, fair skin. And so she shaved, I could still tell. What remained most imprinted on my mind, however, was the look on her face.I of course preferred to see her friendly smile a thousand times more than this face that expressed pure shame. But I could not help but adore the sight of her big sparkling dog eyes looking at the ground helplessly.

My breath stopped for a moment, but then I quickly cleared my throat, my gaze already averted from her, scanning the room for a towel. I tried to hide the fact that I actually wanted to slap myself for the thoughts I was having. Luckily, my embarrassment was not visible through the mask. I had to change the subject immediately before the situation became even more awkward:

"Sorry, Kuon." , I mumbled. I was surprised myself by my harsh tone. It took me a while to recollect the words.

"You should let me know next time you decide to go somewhere else."

"Oh yeah right. I didn't mean to cause any trouble.", Countered the girl who also seemed to be a bit embarrassed. So it wasn't just me who was feeling uncomfortable about this situation. Without giving my companion another look, I threw a towel right over my head at her. I had a precise aim.

" I'm going to get my rifle. I forgot it in all the hurry near the sofa."

Just as I was about to open the door to step out, the girl interrupted my process by grabbing my arm with unusual intensity.

" can you come back here afterwards? Please?"

"That's what I was planning on doing anyway. I'll be waiting right outside the door," I replied, a bit puzzled by this question.

" but I have -." she interrupted herself, shaking her head slightly before continuing.

Then her facial expression regained its former composure, whereupon she gave me her typical, beaming smile. I could tell, however, that she did not mean it honestly. How I could tell that, I had no idea myself though. But did she want me to stay here with her?

" no you're right. I'll hurry up and be done in a few minutes," she said. While she was talking, she wrapped the towel around her body in a quick movement, fastening it in front with the help of a knot.

I had meanwhile turned my gaze back to her. Although Kuon was now dressed, it was difficult for me not to inspect her from top to bottom. Her entire body was still drenched in a hint of wetness, so that her skin was reflectingthe bright bathroom light. It was also slightly red from the hot shower water. I wondered if the red tint to her cheeks was also caused by that, or if I was responsible for it.I could not help but notice the way the towel just managed to hide all the places it was supposed to cover and yet was far too tight. If she bent over, a special view would present itself to me. Immediately I dashed this disgusting thought from my head. If I continued to reduce myself only to her appearance this could end in negligence on my part and I would not be able to protect her properly.After all, that was the most important thing. I also discarded this thought. Had this strange girl really become so important to me? Nevertheless, there was no place for interpersonal relationships in this world.Before I could get any further into this train of thought, I turned away again and finally walked out of the room. I was in need of a cigarette.

[echo-three-one]

The strongest lead toward Shepherd that will lead them to Nero. (honestly I can't think of better summaries lately. I hope you're still enjoying THE ROAD SO FAR (CUE carry on my wayward son)

Table of Contents

Previous Chapter : If I Remember Correctly

Chapter 22 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️ Look how far we've come!

Going Dark - Part 1

"Alex"

Safe House 110197, Brazil

Alex woke up to the smell of Samantha's shampoo. God, she smelled so beautiful. He thought as he shifted his position carefully, trying not to disturb his sleeping girl.

Samantha caught wind of his actions and turned back to him. 

"Good Morning." Alex greeted with the most wholesome and lovable smile he could ever conjure. He could see Samantha actually blush at his smile, meaning that his charm still worked toward her even after all those times.

"Good Morning… you-" She greeted back but Alex immediately met her lips with his, turning a simple morning greeting into a hot make out session. Samantha ran her hand across his arm down to his chest, pushing the tough muscle as her eyes slowly closed, enjoying the way Alex's mouth moved inside hers.

"I wish I could just sit out this mission and stay here with you…" he mused, tapping her nose and smiling.

"You go out there and fix the world, hero. I'll be here when you get back." She winked as Alex slowly got up and left the room, his eyes never leaving hers until he was out of sight.

Alex stepped out of the stairs to the view of Price complaining about the water. Roach was already shuffling to the kitchen to satisfy their Captain's needs. This gave Alex the chance to check on Maxine.

"How are you holding up, Maxine." He asked.

"What's wrong, lass?" Price inserted sipping his morning coffee.

"Hey Alex, Captain Price…" She greeted, her voice was shaky but she looked like she had the courage to respond.

"I had a strange dream last night… I believe it was one of my memories." She spoke softly. Price and Alex's face lit up.

"That's good news!" Alex cheered, shaking her shoulders and quickly withdrawing his hands as soon as it felt awkward.

"Good on ya, lass. Cheers to that!" He raised his mug and nodded.

"Captain Price." Another familiar voice interrupted behind them.

"I have intel on Shadow Company." Ghost announced, everyone fell silent and they immediately gathered around the command center. Soap and France followed as they walked down the stairs together.

"Three addresses in three separate London Apartments." he informed while typing furiously across the keyboard. The map had three yellow blinking dots, two of them were close to each other while one was far away.

"Intel says they're not sure which of these had a Shadow Company residing in it. They're most probably on leave and might be armed." Ghost added, showing three faces of men which were presumed targets for intel.

"Where'd you get these? They look like very classified information." Price asked, crossing his arms and looking at Ghost.

"Let's just say I know someone." he replies smugly.

"And why would we follow such a lead?" Jack added, making the situation very awkward for the rest of the team.

"Is this…" Soap tried to insert.

"Yes, Soap. It's interpol." he finished. The rest of the team looked at each other.

"They wanted to investigate more on the Shadow Company. But since they aren't authorized to act on it, all they do is gather information. Which is frustrating-" Ghost complained but got cut off by Price.

"They're asking for our help because we're rogue. No rules, no anything…" He stated the bitter tone in his voice was too clear.

"We can't just casually fly to London, right? Who's helping us?" Alex stated the larger problem at hand. If this lead is solid enough, they have to act on it.

"Nikolai could fly us in. I could pull a few favors from S.A.S. but they're going to have to be sneaky to let us land there. We can't forget the fact that we're fugitives. I mean, Shepherd only put Me, Alex, Soap, Ghost and Roach on his list." Price said.

"My dream of being wanted came true in the worst way possible." Soap cracked a joke to lighten up the mood. It obviously worked except for Jack, who always never gets the humor.

They continued briefing, planning the route that they would take saving the most time. Which weapons to use and other protocols to follow. 

~

"Saving the world once again, my hero?" Samantha leaned on him as he continuously flicked Soap's lighter.

"Stop calling me that. I'm no hero. I'm just trying to set things back the way they were." 

"Like what heroes do." Samantha chuckled sitting next to him and rested her head on his lap.

"My Dad probably misses me so much." She sighed, looking at Alex as he looked down on her, his fingers played with her hair.

"If we could find the perfect time, we could tell him you're safe. It's unfair how the whole world thinks we took you as a hostage." he complained.

"Well, when you think of it I really am a prisoner here." she mused as Alex's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Then once his brain cells finally agreed, he smiled and laughed.

"Oh I get it." he reached for her hand and put it close in his heart. 

"You're trapped in here aren't you." they both laughed.

"That's so corny, right?" Samantha giggled.

"Yeah. It is." Alex replied as they continued to spend the rest of the few hours they had together before flying to the Majesty's domain.

LONDON

UNITED KINGDOM

Price wasn't able to land on the S.A.S. base, but they did assist the rogue team to land on an open area not too far from the base and Nikolai seemed to be fine with it. The team borrowed MacMillan's jeep and took the road less traveled to the city. 

Everyone looked alert and worried, this was a risky move but it was all they had to get to Shepherd, to get to Nero.

They drove as fast as they legally could, knowing that their faces wouldn't be recognized by anyone until Ghost distributed his extra skull masks, which allowed them to move freely across the streets of the nearest target location.

The first apartment room was located on the third floor, that meant they had to ascent two flights of stairs without raising suspicion. Ghost immediately worked his way to the basement and disabled the lights.

A quick flicker and the building's lights immediately shut off, making some of the tenants scream in surprise. It was time to move.

The team slowly crept the stairs, their steps were light enough that they could only hear faint creaking. Price led the line as they cleared the hallway all the way up to the third. 

Alex was behind Price as he saw the target room's door was slightly ajar. It's either they're lucky he forgot to lock it or they were too late. Proceeding with extreme caution, Price swung the door open and continued to scour the room for the guy. 

"Right door, clear." Price announced as everyone scattered around to look for intel. Jack searched the closets hoping that clues were left behind inside pockets. Roach looked for the drawers while Price and Alex looked for clues of possible escape. 

"Someone's going up to this floor." Soap whispered as he signaled the team to remain quiet. He was by the door on lookout for the team.

Complete silence. Alex could only hear his breathing and his heartbeat as the person walked past the hall, not minding the open room he just passed through.

They took a few more minutes of intel gathering until they ultimately decided to call it off. It was a dead lead.

"Two more houses." Ghost announced as the team silently regrouped by the car where Nikolai was waiting. The lights immediately returned as soon as they set foot on the vehicle.

"I sure hope we get something from the next house." Roach wished as they drove to the next location.

The second location almost had the same layout. They did the same plan but this time Alex and Soap switched roles. Guard duty was significantly harder when it's dark and Alex did his best to heighten his senses. 

Signs of struggle were heard from the inside and Alex assumed they finally identified one of the targets. He could hear the person's groans and struggles as well as his team working hard to constrain the person.

"Ghost. It looks like they got him." Alex reported as he could hear Ghost working on something. Then in just a flash, the lights turned back on along with a loud booming sound of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up". Alex entered the room and looked at the poor guy being surrounded by his squad. He was trying to scream for help but Rick Astley begged to differ. 

"We're just here for one simple question…

WHERE. IS. SHEPHERD?" Price roared. The guy didn't easily give in. He just shook his head and continued to struggle free. Jack immediately pulled his hand and placed some pliers in between the hostage's fingers.

"Isn't that a little bit too harsh?" Soap whispered to Roach, who just shrugged.

"What's harsh is that they used an innocent daughter as bait." Jack slowly squeezed the pliers making the hostage scream. 

"AAAAAAAAAH." He squirmed making the rest of the team hold him tight. Alex had his eyes set on the door as neighbors started to complain about the booming music.

He squirmed enough that it activated something in his pocket, a smartphone whose light shone through the fabric of his pants. Then in a flash, a small scale EMP blast rendered the whole building quiet. All electrical devices were disabled and Alex and the team found themselves kneeling as the loud ringing triggered their ears.

None of them were too quick to react as their hostage looked like he wasn't affected by the blast. He bolted toward the exit and Alex attempted to grab him by the foot, only for him to effortlessly shrug him off and stomp on him, causing him to roll in pain.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Soap follow along with Roach, who were still holding their ears and wincing from the pain of the ringing. 

Next Chapter : Going Dark - Part 2

Notification Squad my Beloved

@samatedeansbroccoli @smokeywhalee @enderio @whimsywispsblog @beemybee @ricinbach

[punkrock-writer]

Space Cowboy- part 4

Roasting the Shit Out of Toro Because He Deserves It 

Pairing- Din Djarin x F!OC

Warnings- Mentions blood, fighting, swearing, Canon Typical Violence. Spoilers for The Mandalorian

A/N- WOAH It is here. 5.3k words. The longest chapter so far. Let me know what you guys think, is it still too short or too long, lemme know. And yeah, the end IS cheesy. I am the Mayor of Cheeseville it should be expected. 

And a reminder Din is de-aged a bit, he's around mid to late 20′s here, just for a little more ~spice~

Let me know what you think! I love hearing from ya’ll it helps me a lot :D 

Masterlist AO3 

She honestly didn't know how he was so quiet. That collection of Ironman armor should make much more noise than it does. Or he could have at least woken her up before screaming.

"HEY" Sedona jumped violently. Her eyes springing open in panic, he wasn't in the ship, but his voice echoed throughout it. She heard the panicked voice of Peli yelling outside. She scooted further into the middle of the hull to peer out of the open door. Din looked as intimidating as he could, shoulders raised and feet wide. Peli marched from her office up to him, cradling a wailing Grogu.

"Give him to me" she wanted to laugh. The paternal instincts kicked in so fast, albeit a bit misplaced and underdeveloped. But he tried his best.

"Not so fast! You can't just leave a child all alone like that." Peli cried out, though not entirely alone, she was right. "You know, you have an awful lot to learn about raisin' a young one."

And then much to Sedona's discomfort, Peli's eyes met hers.

"AND leaving an injured lady! No water or bandages, that isn't very kind. Prisoner or not." She scowled up at the towering Mandalorian, whose head slowly turned to meet hers. She quickly scooted herself back against the crate. She wasn't ready for that kind of attention, she needed to get her thoughts in order.

"Anyway-" she racked her brain as she heard Peli continue to talk about the ship. She had gotten this far in the episode, and Din had obviously made the deal with... that motherfucker whom she cannot remember the name of. She was so focused on trying to remember she didn't even notice Din had walked back onto the ship.

"I thought I told you not to talk to anyone." His voice made her jump once again, it was rough, a warning. Her wide eyes met his visor, and suddenly the right words met her tongue.

"Don't leave him alone with the bounty" they were rushed, she probably looked crazier than Peli's wild curls. "Y-you can't trust him, something bad is going to happen."

She watched as he turned with a bag in his hand. He looked like he was going to speak, or step closer to her, his body seizing up. Instead, his gloved hand curled into a fist at his side, and he spun quickly on his heel and exited her line of sight. She heard the pair talk a bit more, mostly Peli talking at Din's retreating back. Then she was alone again. And her ass hurts.

Standing up was much easier now that the magic space goo had somehow healed her knees. Though she had extreme doubts, she sincerely hoped Din might heed her warning. She really did not wan't to be caught in the crossfire of their shoot out that was soon to come. Maybe that was the worst part about being plunked into this universe. The constant dread of knowing what's going to happen, and having no power to change it, was going to destroy her. She could already feel the way her body sagged with exhaustion. The ever-present headache was taking a toll on her mind, and her fight or flight response was kicked into high gear. She hadn't felt like this in years.

Trying to keep her mind from straying too far into the darkness. She decided to do some light exploration of the Razor Crest. She wouldn't touch anything, as Din so kindly instructed. But she was definitely going to touch all over with her eyes. First, she was going to figure out if that man had a shower. She turned opposite the open door and headed in the direction of what looked like an airplane toilet. She was pleased to find a small door stationed adjacent to the weird space toilet. Obviously hidden from view on the show, it was a rickety metal sheet. Actually, everything on the ship was a metal sheet, but she wasn't going to roast it too harshly. Opening it, the oval-shaped door created an edge that she had to step over to enter the small room. The floor and walls were tiled, and there was a small drain in the middle. A large ledge jutted out from the wall at about knee height, above it was what looked like a sink, and a small foggy mirror. Avoiding its reflection, she ventured back further. There was a curtain, pulling it back revealed a showerhead and a series of ledges cut into the wall. She tried to keep her heart from fluttering at the sight of soap bars, and a razor. Then heat began to creep up her spine, embarrassment making its way to her cheeks.

How fucking old are you 13? Get a hold of yourself.

She spun quickly not wanting to be caught snooping. She felt like a high school girl who had just seen her crush's room for the first time. She was 26 for fucks sake, and it was a bathroom.

On a space ship.

On an unknown planet.

In a universe that had once only existed in media form.

She wasn't able to wallow in her embarrassment much longer, through the open door she saw Peli return from wherever she had followed Din. She walked with determination, coming up to some kind of machine that was attached to the ship. Sedona didn't really know what to do, she stood awkwardly in the hull of the ship. Listening to Peli mutter to herself, she hated feeling like this. She liked to be moving or at least distracting her brain in some way. Now there was only the unfamiliar ship, her bags were already organized neatly- and then it hit her.

She still had her phone in her purse.

Springing into action she darted for her bag, rummaging through it until she finally found it. It was an iPhone and she still had her headphones attached to it. Her heart soared in her body, unable to contain her smile at the sight, relieved to find at least this thing hadn't magically transformed into a space object. But clicking it on she was met with slight disappointment. Only 32% charged, and the fact that her phone was wicked old and functioned at about 60% of its normal battery life, it would be dying soon. There are no outlets in space. She thought angrily. So she sighed and set it back into her purse, deciding to save it for when she truly needed a mental escape. For now, she could maybe go and see what Peli was up to.

And that's how she spent her first evening in space. She sat at the table, watching Peli fix the Crest. Or making sure the child didn't eat sand or some shit. Peli didn't talk much while she worked, which she was secretly grateful for. Only asking occasional questions, or pausing to complain about the old ship. Sedona didn't offer much, vague answers, allowing the older woman to speak more than herself. She really didn't feel like having to convince someone else she's from an alternate universe. Especially someone who was very much capable of throwing her into the endless Tatooine desert.

In time it grew darker in the hangar. Peli wiped her hands off on her jumpsuit, leaving grease marks in her wake. Sedona held a sleeping Grogu in her arms, he had been quite a hassle for her to wrangle with her hands still cuffed together. He was quick, and incredibly sneaky when he wanted to be. He currently held some kind of bolt in his little clawed hands, one of the braver droids had given it to him when he was fussing in her lap.

"How about another round of some bone broth, and then we get some rest." She snapped her fingers at a droid, who scurried off to the back of the hangar quickly. "It looks like that little stinker has the right idea." Peli sat, the smell of oil and metal rolling off her. She grabbed the cup of water she had sipping out of periodically and drank. Then she turned to Sedona, who up until this moment had been zoned out, staring at the shadows cast on the ground.

"You look like you've seen some shit." Sedona's heart nearly stopped at that, but when she met Peli's eyes they glittered with amusement in the dim light of the hangar.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," she said with a laugh and a shrug. Then a droid appeared next to her, carrying more bowls of broth. She accepted it, thanking the droid once again. The liquid warmed her, she didn't consider how cold a desert got a night, and her shorts and men's t-shirt didn't exactly hold much warmth. But the broth helped, and she tried not to let Peli notice her shivers.

"Listen, I wanted to ask you something" Sedona almost choked on her broth. "I heard what you said to the Mandalorian, why do you think he can't trust that other bounty hunter?" Peli's gaze was quizzical, genuine curiosity, not suspicion. It gave Sedona confidence, but not enough to tell her the full truth.

"I guess I just have a really bad feeling, I think there's something off about the deal." She said after swallowing, and Peli was silent for a moment. Searching her gaze before suddenly leaning forward.

"You know I was thinking the exact same thing." She said it like it was the juiciest secret in school. "There was just something off in his eyes." She finished with a nod. Sedona couldn't stop her smile. She felt the beginnings of a friendship blossoming there in the cool evening. She hoped it wouldn't be ripped away from her too soon.

They finished their broth in comfortable silence. Then Peli rose, a mischievous smile on her face.

"Well, I'm going to take this little womprat to the back with me, if you need anything just holler," she said, reaching down to scoop the sleeping bundle from her lap. "You sure you'll be all right in that ship by yourself?"

"I'll be okay," she said with a smile, trying to look convincing "but Peli, if you see anything happening, take the child and run."

Her face turned serious, and she gave a curt nod.

"I'll make sure the droids stay awake, they'll give us a good warning" and with another nod, and a pointed look at the group of droids, she turned to the back of the hangar.

Sedona was alone again, and fear was beginning to crawl up her spine. She had to prepare herself. Somehow, she wasn't going to let that fucker touch baby Grogu.

~o~o~o~

Night came and went, Sedona spent it pacing. Somehow, that sneaky tin can had taken her taser, and her Swiss army knife. Leaving her with only pepper spray from her keychain to defend herself. She held it tightly in 2 hands, having finally sat down when she saw the hangar becoming light again. She heard Peli out in the open area, talking to the droids and the child.

"Here's a ration bar, I'm going to try to finish these repairs before the Mandalorian gets back." Peli had walked into the ship quietly, giving her the foil-wrapped bar, the child gurgling on her hip. The tension was thick between them, both women could sense something wrong. But if Peli wanted to say anything more she didn't, instead turning her attention to the ship, the child held tightly to her. Sedona honestly didn't feel like eating, her head was pounding again. The effort of trying to figure out the plot was scrambling her brain.

She didn't know how exactly to define it, but it felt like the memories of the show were drifting away from her. Scenes she had remembered and re-watched multiple times now were faint memories. It felt like she was losing her mind, literally the only information she needed right now was dissolving like snow in her fingers. So she settled for clutching her pepper spray and hoping the droids gave her a good warning like Peli said.

The droids held up their end well.

It was maybe 3 or 4 hours later, Peli had miraculously just taken Grogu to the back for some food and a nap. When suddenly the droids went absolutely batshit crazy.

Sedona sprung from her spot on the floor, her headache was instantly forgotten as she squeezed herself against an indent in the wall of the ship. Hoping to spring on the hunter. She heard his blaster fire, then it was eerily quiet.

God, I hope they can get out of here.

Sedona tried to keep her mind from straying from the task at hand. She tried to keep her breathing quiet, straining her ears for any sounds.

Those shitty self-defense classes are going to have to work today.

There were footsteps on the ramp. Slow, but heavy, he really was a pretty shitty bounty hunter. She switched the safety off on her pepper spray, trying to judge where he was on the ship by the sound of his footsteps. Then the barrel of a gun crept into her line of sight, and she didn't hesitate.

Springing from her hiding spot she sprayed upwards, toward what she hoped were his eyes. Based on the shouting she was successful. She did her best to ignore the burn in her own eyes as the fumes carried toward her. Taking his surprise as an advantage she attempted to kick him in the balls.

Keyword- attempted.

Sedona did not consider the fact, that he might be wearing goggles. And that he might catch her leg. With a shove, she was sent sprawling onto the floor, with no way to catch herself. Her butt hit the ground hard, knocking the breath out of her. She looked up to meet a gut-churning smile.

What a fucking dick.

"That tasted awful, but I don't think it did what you wanted it to." He said with a smug smirk, he was so incredibly proud of himself. "Look at this! A third bounty, I'm going to be the king of the Guild!"

Well, if Sedona couldn't beat him physically. She was going to try to demolish his ego.

"Fuck you, Toro, this is why your mom doesn't FUCKING love you" the words were filled with rage as they flew out of her mouth, she lunged toward him. Her mind suddenly supplying the correct name when she needed it most. His face immediately fell, twisting into shock and confusion.

"What do you know about my mother?" he sneered, taking a few steps forward to tower over her on the ground. But his intimidating stance did nothing to stop the pure hatred Sedona felt in her heart.

"You look like you watch Big Bang Theory on purpose." It was one of her more creative insults, her new goal was distraction. Try and confuse him as much as she could, so that hopefully Peli could escape with the child. It seemed to work so far.

"I don't know what that means, but I would shut the hell up if I were you" he leaned down and sneered at her. She grit her teeth, the insults flowing fast.

"Your earring looks like shit"

"I said shut up!" He raised his blaster to her head, a position she had just recently became familiar with. She met his eyes, and with as much bitterness as she could muster, she put the nail in her coffin.

"I know how you die, and you die like a bitch."

That was the last thing she could say. Toro reacted very poorly, to say the least.

And for the first time in her life, Sedona was pistol-whipped across the head. Toro stalked away from her body that laid slumped on the ship floor. Continuing on his original journey, much more confused and irritated.

~o~o~o~

The Mandalorian could not shake the sick feeling in his gut as he tied the dewback to the hitch outside of Hangar 3-5. One look at the speeder outside had the mysterious woman's words repeating in his head.

You can't trust him, something bad is going to happen.

It really didn't help that she was right. In fact, he hated that she was right. It was making his decision on what to do with her much harder. He unclipped his blaster, drawing it ahead of him as he made his way down the stairs. The hangar was quiet, aside from the annoying droid that startled him. He slowly made his way through the sand toward his ship.

"Took you long enough Mando" there he was. He stalked forward raising his blaster up into the dark ship. Calican emerged; somehow he got angrier at the sight of the child in his arm, and the scared woman who had been kind to him caught in this mess. "Looks like I'm calling the shots now. Huh, partner?"

Din wanted to roll his eyes and shoot him right then.

"Drop your blaster and raise 'em." This time he couldn't stop the eye roll, instead having to suppress an annoyed sigh as he carelessly flung his blaster to the ground. Twisting his body in a way that let him quickly grab a flash charge. He truly was a pretty shitty bounty hunter, this would be his final mistake. Din was irritated, just waiting for the right moment to strike. Calican handed it to him on a silver platter.

"Cuff him." After that, Din really didn't give a shit about what this guy said. Instead watching as the woman approached him with the bindings. He rolled the flash charge in-between his fingers. Waiting.

"You're smarter than you look" the woman whispered in his ear. Obviously not, if only he had listened to the woman she left in his ship. He wouldn't be in this mess.

The right moment came as Calican raised his blaster higher. The flash brightening the entire hangar for just long enough, Din slipped behind some of the junk lying around. Coming around the side before Calican even knew he had disappeared. It was over quickly, his body tumbled off the ramp, taking the child with it.

"Stay back." He tried to tell the woman, who scrambled quickly over to him as he went to inspect the body. He didn't like the way she fumbled around him, grabbing his cape as he tried to make sure the man was actually dead. Then he heard the babbles of the child. He didn't really register what she was saying to him, just thankful she was calming him down. Inspecting the body he found what he was looking for, the bag of credits was heavy in his hand.

Turning to the woman holding the child, he prepared to pay and leave.

"Be careful with him." She said, the child simply snorting as he was placed back in his arms. She then tried to break some of the tension, bringing up the question that Din knew she would ask. "So I take it you didn't get paid."

Din didn't really feel the need to say anything. Instead pouring the contents of the pouch into her outstretched hands. But he decided to make sure.

"That cover me?" The woman sputtered in response, giving a shocked form of Yes. Din then turned, making his way back to his ship, babbling baby in tow. Until he was stopped.

"Listen, I don't know what you plan on doing with that girl, but she fought to distract him. She tried to make sure I could get away with the baby." Din turned back to the woman, his curiosity peaking. "She told him she knew how he died, and something tells me she did. Sh-she was very nice and helpful. I think you should give her a chance."

Din thought about it for a moment. It seems she was truthful about yet another thing she said to him.

"I would protect the child with my life."

Internally he was glad it hadn't come to that, or so the woman who stared up at him made it seem. He nodded at her, hoping he conveyed his understanding and turned back to enter his darkened ship. He heard her yelling at her droids, but he was more concerned with finding out what state his ship was in. As the ramp closed, he flipped back on the lights. With a heavy sigh, he observed the way her body was crumpled on the floor once again.

There was a large, bloodied scrape on her temple, the area already beginning to bruise. The child was struggling in his arms again, letting out indignant cries as he reached for the girl on the floor. He set him down next to her and reached to grab her under the shoulders and knees. Deciding to move her much gentler than he had the first time. He didn't really know where to put her though; he spun in his ship, her body limp in his arms, the child followed him in circles crying out in frustration.

His eyes landed on his sleeping compartment, figuring that was better than nothing. He quickly set her into it. Taking a moment to remove the cuffs still on her wrists, he internally cringed at the redness. Another thing he should apologize for. He didn't feel comfortable sitting in the hangar for much longer. He scooped up the child, who was trying in vain to climb into the compartment with her.

"Come on we have to get outta here" he grumbled to the child, who was squirming in his arm. He paused to look up at him, angrily babbling at him before resorting to pouting as he was hauled into the cockpit. Din started the ship quickly, not entirely certain where he was going. He only knew he needed to sit down with the woman in the hull, and really figure out what the hell she was talking about.

~o~o~o~

Sedona really didn't want to wake up. In her dream, she was warm and comfortable, and definitely not about to get crazy-murdered by a space villain. Whatever she was laying on was slightly squishier than the floor, but only slightly. It felt like if you were to lay a thin yoga mat onto a wood floor and then tried to take a nap on it. But she kept her eyes closed, trying to stay in her comfortable bubble just a few moments longer. Whoever was shaking her leg did not get the message.

"Please, just let me pretend this isn't happening for a little while longer" she grumbled, not yet opening her eyes. She tried to imagine her bed again, her soft blankets, and a cup of her favorite tea. She could pretend her head didn't hurt, and her body didn't hurt, and her brain didn't hurt. She could pretend she didn't have to open her eyes and face more confusion and struggle.

"Please, I'd like to talk." A soft modulated voice was not what she expected. She slowly opened her eyes, taking in the metal ceiling above her. With a deep breath, she slowly sat up, taking in the sight before her. At some point, after she had been knocked out, she had been placed in Din's sleeping compartment. At the end of the 'bed' (she didn't really want to call it a bed this was awful) stood the Mandalorian himself, and Grogu was vigorously shaking her leg with 2 hands. He babbled excitedly when she sat up, looking up at her and giving a wide smile. "How is your head?"

The new gentle tone was mind-boggling. She could only stare at him, mouth open like a fish. Her head was bad actually, feeling very bad. She just got smacked across the head with a gun, she couldn't imagine how she looked. But the sudden shift in mood was what confused her most; there was a stumbling, awkward, sort of kindness in the way he stood and spoke to her. She searched the visor a bit more, not really sure what she was looking for. A particularly loud coo broke her from her distraction.

"It... could be better I suppose." She licked her lips, mind suddenly wandering in fear. "Where are we? Are we stopped?" The Mandalorian couldn't afford to just stop, so they had to be in hyperspace or he wouldn't be down here. Why was he down here exactly? When did the cuffs come off?

"Yes, we're still on Tatooine, I— I wanted to talk to you," he cleared his throat. "I had some things to say, and to ask." He turned and walked further into the ship, she just now noticed the door was open. Showing the dark Tatooine desert.

Oh!

She was going to be dropped off here. Left to wander the space desert. It was a short run of things, but at least it was horrible while it lasted. She slowly got up, moving around the child to set her feet on the cold ground. The child babbled up at her, raising his arms, and for a brief moment, she considered picking him up. Her mind flirted with the idea of carrying him over to the metal man who leaned against the hatch door. Looking out to the rolling sands together, in peace. But instead, she grabbed her purse and prepared for the worst.

"So I guess this is it?" She paused next to Din, nervously looking up at him as she twirled her purse strap in her hands. His helmet snapped to her, quickly his body followed, straightening out to face her completely. He looked down at her for a long time, his body tense. Her body heated up under his gaze, feeling even more nervous under the scrutiny.

"Do you think I'm leaving you out here?" He tilted his head at her, it was almost condescending. If she was able to re-wind it and analyze the tone of his voice, she would've caught the amusement.

"Well I mean you did leave me handcuffed on the ship for like 3 days, and then brought the Crest out to the desert. Which you would never do if you weren't going to...leave me here" she rambled. Her eyes searched the area around them, not meeting his visor. He was silent once again, just watching her squirm under his gaze. She didn't know how to read him in real life, he was so much taller, and without the fan analysis she could skim through, a lot of his body language was lost.

"I was going to apologize..." he paused, his voice soft but gravely. Her mouth dropped open, slowly looking up to his helmet. "I'm sorry for leaving you cuffed in the ship, but you have to admit, you sounded pretty crazy."

The humor was detectable now, and after a long moment Sedona smiled, and as the words penetrated her brain a little deeper. A chuckle bubbled into her throat, and before she knew it she was laughing. It wasn't that funny honestly, but this was the first display of emotional release her body had experienced in a while, so it kind of went overboard. When she finally calmed down she was breathless, tears gathered in her eyes. Mando just looked at her, head tilted in confusion, and when he folded his arms over his chest, she knew he was irritated.

"I'm sorry... that wasn't that funny, but I think I need to cry and that's as close as I'm going to get." She wiped a tear from her eye, looking back at the still Mandalorian. She quickly dropped her face when she saw the way he was standing, straightened her shoulders. "W-what else did you want from me?" She should know better to think she was off the hook, he could still freeze her in carbonite. He would probably be able to get some sort of profit from her. The thought had her shrinking, she suddenly felt small again.

With a hefty sigh, he readjusted, facing back toward the endless desert. His trend of silence was much for daunting when it wasn't happening on a tv screen. Suddenly something grabbed her ankle. Of course, how could she forget the 3rd passenger? With an incredibly grumpy face and some mighty grump squeals, he reached his arms up to her as hard as he could. She smiled in pity at him, it didn't feel right to pick him up in front of Din. It wasn't her place, and she really didn't want to upset him when he was deciding his fate.

"You can pick him up." His voice was soft again, though he hadn't turned to look at them. "He seems to like you a lot" Her eyes glowed, and with free hands, she bent down and picked up the little one. Finally being able to hold him properly was wonderful, he was a comfortable weight in the crook of her arm. His little dish towel onesie soft on her skin, she smiled at him, and he cooed happily. Looking up she found Din had turned around, looking on with a tilted gaze.

"I want to know... do things work out well for him." It was almost a whisper, true concern laced in his modulated voice. She had to think about it for longer than she wanted. Yes, as far as she knew things went relatively well for the child, as for the man protecting him that was different.

"You have lots of adventures, but he makes it out okay." She gave him a small closed-mouth smile. Thinking further filled her with hope. "D-does... this mean you trust me?" She searched his visor, hoping she met his eyes.

"I..." He cut off, his head shaking. "I don't know for sure what to think, I know you're not a threat, but I can't...comprehend the things you've told me." He inhaled deeply, letting out a long sigh. A gloved hand reached out to stroke the ear of the child. "But I can't shake the feeling that I need you with me, so I suppose you should stick around for a while."

As if he understood Grogu chirped happily up at you. His head turning back and forth between the two of you. Sedona's heart soared. She couldn't stop the smile that crept its way onto her cheeks. She felt like jumping, but she resorted to squeezing the little guy tighter to her chest.

"Thank you." It came out in a whisper, she hoped he could register her gratefulness through his helmet. Grogu gave a little cheer, reaching up one clawed hand to tap her cheek.

"Well...don't get too comfortable, I'll need your help." There was the familiar grumble. She dropped her smile quickly.

"You got it. I used to be a babysitter, I'll earn my keep." She gave a sharp nod, determination overtaking her face. But another tap to her cheek had her cracking a smile once again.

"Can you fight?" That question was a bit trickier to answer. While she had a knife and a taser, there was no formal training to back them.

"I... had to take a few self-defense classes, but I didn't have many options in my city." She answered with a shrug. "But I'm willing to learn." She said, determined. No, she wasn't a gifted fighter yet, but if that's how she would be able to survive here, then she was going to become the best damn fighter this galaxy had seen.

"Good." He said, seemingly satisfied, and gave her a nod before abruptly turning back to the ship. "Then I'll train you when we're able to stop, but for now, we keep going." With that he brushed past her, the hatch closing behind him. She watched as he made his way up the ladder, she heard the hiss of the cockpit doors opening. She looked down at the gremlin in her arms, and his big eyes looked back at her. A smile showing off his nubby teeth on his little face. With a shrug, she walked back over to the sleeping compartment.

Now as she looked over her belongings, 2 bags, and a fucking hotel towel. It didn't seem so bad.

She should really put on a bra now.

[sinusncoffee]

"and it's … enough to

make a man

weep, but I don't

weep, do

you?"

Her earphones fall, the plastic softly slaps the floor, the soft voice reciting Bukowski fades into the noise of her dishwasher, her tearless eyes, her numb soul, her dry hands that smell of lemon detergent. Her hands, every day she realizes it more, are those of a child, just like her tiny frame that can miraculously hold layers and worlds nobody seems to even imagine exist. She tries to wash her hands with a sweeter soap, to soften them with some expensive lotion gifted to her – a lotion just like her tiny body or her frivolous mind – a lotion she never chose; who'd choose to sweeten their little hands with sweet pea anyways?

Glueing her shredded insides together with a prayer in the middle of the night, she bends to the floor with the top of her head, unloading her amoebic worries to gravity and divinity to deal with. She doesn't weep anymore. She hasn't in months. Not even when her friends would weep in her stead so that she would be better.

People, her family included, are starting to find her less human, the creature she really is. Or is she a creature at all?

She has been fading into no more than a blot of watercolor, purple watercolor to be specific, that by some chance or bad luck, needs to survive on an oil canvas. In less artistic terms, she is a fish out of water as she's always been, but people are finally acknowledging that fact, demanding her to be more adaptive to life on a land infected with greenhouse gases, plastic garbage, nuclear waste, hollow traditions, and a million judges each accusing her of something she has no idea about.

She doesn't weep though. And that could be the most inhumane thing about her.

She usually paints, but this time she can't.

She always writes poetry, but her words won't just rhyme now.

She could write books, eloquently elaborate, but she's tongue-tied, hand-tied, heart-tied.

Putting on her earphones back, she lies on her bed, watching the ceiling, feeling the weight of her soul seep through every exhausted muscle to the mattress, especially that bulk in her chest that is heavy enough to sink to the center of the Earth.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

She shuts her eyes.

Urjwan.

That's how she'd like to be known. Her name doesn't matter, but her color does.

She's a bruise in human form. Her years of blueness have been given a brush of hot red that turned her into a galactic being that neither belongs to fire nor water, space or ocean, humans or colors. She's become a deformed chimera, but she views herself as a galaxy. No one could comfort a burning heart of a galaxy with a thousand stars at birth, death, spinning – silently yet fiercely.

Holding onto this image, she tries to breathe, accept, move on what burdens her this time. Unlike her sweet pea lotion and little hands, a burden she has partly chosen – just to let go of.

A blue bird, with a broken beak.

Zurqa, she calls him. His name doesn't matter either. Urjwan isn't even sure he's azure enough to deserve such a name, but no matter how she tries to deliver his image on paper, for some reason, her brush chooses a palette of blues, bluer than her own blues. Blue is her black, her home. Perhaps that is one reason why she felt she has finally found the perfect friend, partner, counsel, protector.

Yet, not every blue is that of a galaxy –

some hues of blue are those of delicate feathers of fragile birds; the starkness of their sight could be deceiving, even for a painter so attentive to details, shades, auras, and souls, like herself. But blue is always worth a shot, even if it's a wrong shot. Any blue could be made home even if it's not home, and though the effort it could take to make it so is huge, it can't compare to the effort of surviving a single day of being purple. Being purple is being a wanderer, a passerby in eternal search for home in a vast ocean of blue, red, and in between.

Letting her heart, brush, ink, and rhymes lead her exhausted soul, they swiftly sailed her to the blue side of the world, where Zurqa had chosen to be with ease, or so she thought he was. She could finally knock at his door with her friends who saved her from the sea of unknown hues. He was courteous and let her in, but he wouldn't shake her hand lest she infects him with the subtle redness in her troubled hands, the shaken yet confident look in her eyes, the unstable pace her heart beats in. She was cold, he thought, so he offered his coat. His house was serene, but it had not a single drop of caffeine which Urjwan craved. She didn't mind though. Blueberry, despite its bitterness, could be sweetened with chocolate, or just a simple touch of Zurqa's solemn yet cheerful presence.

She knew from the first moment she wasn't going to stay forever, but she introduced her artistic friends with love and gratitude anyways. Zurqa was taken aback by her poems and paintings, felt sorry, and suddenly his blue feathers were visible with some foreign hue on their ends. Urjwan tenderly stroked his frail feathers with a knowing, bitter yet warm smile, returned his coat, left a touch of her redness on his cup of the blueberry juice she didn't finish, and sailed back to the ocean, promising to be there for her blue bird. Zurqa was never meant to be her home. Some other foreign-colored bird owned his heart but won't remain forever – she would leave soon, once Zurqa sails to her, and he'd be back to this very house, alone. Zurqa knows it, Urjwan knows it even better, and graciously she took her leave. A galaxy can always contain a blue bird – never vice versa, and she knows it, but a galaxy makes peace with her explosions, embraces them, extinguishes them, paints them in benevolence without a single tear shed.

Unmasking the painful memory from the metaphors, her love was unrequited, for someone else seemed to occupy Zurqa's heart. She remained steady, smiling, and cordially accepting and appreciating the bless of pure love she has been granted for the most inspiring human being.

Love, Urwjan tells her blank ceiling, unlike admiration, is not just limited to being liked back – it is much purer, more noble, more solemn, more divine than any human category. Love isn't a word or a confession either. Love is a shower of mercy, an angelic peace, a choir chanting a hymn for a random human for no reason whatsoever.

She found no reason to keep her heart locked in her quarter a century old cement box. She set her heart and blue bird free and breathed so deep that she thought she were not alive anymore.

Piercing her left ear and the consistent colorless pulses of pain gave her signs of life. Walking wires, dropping her arms midair as the gravity swings her, jumping from one tree branch to the other, from one rope to the other, from one rock to the other, from one tower to the other – she felt reborn in the heart of a rocky mountain. Floating from one sanctuary to the other, she dividing the weight of what others call rejection and what she calls salvation, the purple watercolor blot felt secured in the hands of her Artisan, not minding being dropped on an oil canvas anymore. Faith, they call it? She agrees this time.

Faith.

And still she doesn't weep.

Closing her eyes, giving in to gravity and the warmth of her blanket, she cradles herself.

Urjwan's world is shaking with earthquakes and tidal waves, nonstop, and Urjwan is learning to dance along with her tiny body, little sweetened hands, purple earphones, rhymes, paint, and suspended soul.

Urjwan belongs to the heart of a violet ocean of stardust and Zurqa to a colorful dusk earthly sky, yet somehow, they're friends, bound by uncategorized Love, a blue hue, and endless seas of trouble,.. and how nice it is.

She finally recognizes the word she missed in Bukowski's poem,

"and it's nice enough to

make a man

weep, but I don't

weep, do

you?"

Enough to Make a Man Weep

January 31st, 2020.

[sherlockmonkeesstartrek]

Hi there! Read your post, and GOD! After years of reading fanfiction about any fandom but The Hollies, you are like a dream come true! But sadly, I'm the least creative person, and I wouldn't know what to ask! Yep, my fav is Tony, and I love the second and third lineup (Tony, Allan and Bobby with Bern, Graham or Terry). If I imagine some smut, it would be some angry sex between Tony and Graham, even though they never clashed that much in RL. (1/2)

Hiii! I’ve seen your blog before and can I just say how much I love it

Anyways, I am totally digging that Tony/Graham hate fuck, so I wrote a little (6000 word) fic about them. I kinda got carried away, sorry XD So yeah, I haven’t read over it and I’ve never really written all that much about Tony before, so I just keep that in mine. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy; 

“Did you just,” Graham laughed, turning to look at the other boys in the studio as though for back up despite being well aware before even regarding their disapproving expressions that he was looking to the wrong people for help. Really, these comments were only to make light of the situation for himself, “Did you just see that? My god.” He turned back to where he’d just watched one of his bandmates storm out and sighed. “Tony Hicks. Who knew?”

Well, it seemed they all knew. They knew from the moment Tony started raising his voice, a odd spectacle for such a quiet young man, that he was capable of as much of a dramatic and aggressive exit as any one of the boys had managed before. Just because he stayed out of fights, stayed away from drama, didn’t mean he was totally incapable of getting involved. And the thing was, this wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t got into a fight, he didn’t instigate it. If anything, he was being patient for a good time longer than the other boys could. And when he did eventually snap, everyone agreed that he was totally valid in doing so.

Even the guy who started it, the very man who marvelled at the reaction in its aftermath. Graham had to admit he kind of went over the top on that one. He didn’t mean to start an argument. He just seemed to spark them by accident, and he wasn’t the type to back down on anything, even if it was better off if he did for his own benefit.

Still, he’d fucked up, what could he do now?

He shrugged off the negativity in the atmosphere and turned his attentions to finding his guitar. Where had he put it down?

“Guys, have you seen my pick?”

Not a peep sounded from his remaining bandmates. Casually, the rhythm guitarist looked up. He’d practically forgotten the fight in about two seconds of distraction. Apparently, it wasn’t so easy for the others, mostly because they had no interest in forgetting.

“What was all that about?” Allan was first to speak. He’d clashed with Graham many a time throughout the years, so wasn’t afraid to do so now. In fact, he felt inclined to do so to defend his mate and let his discontent be known to the perpetrator.

“What? Oh, the thing… nothing.” Graham muttered. He was outnumbered. Even he wasn’t on his own side about this. That was why he was so quick to try and ignore it. He’d done wrong. Something pretty fucking wrong. There was no reason to go off of Tony like that, yet he’d done it and… well… the not backing down thing, the trait that would get him killed if he wasn’t careful. He could see the headlines ‘English musician mauled by bandmates.’ What a way to go.

“Sure sounded like nothing.”

“Well, it was. He overreacted.” Ok, he didn’t even believe what he was saying, never mind whether Allan did, or Bobby or Bern. Basically, he was losing a war he’d inadvertently started with that minor battle, and that was pissing him off.

“Yeah?” Allan stepped forward, challengingly.

Graham ground his teeth, standing up to the challenge, “Well what do you want me to do about it now? Hu? Go and kiss him and make up so we can play some shit on another record we didn’t write. Oh sure.”

Apparently, kissing was a bit too much, but making up was exactly what Allan wanted. Graham sighed, frustrated as he turned to the door. He felt like a kid being told off by his parents, made to go and apologise to an annoying brother for aggravating him. Since when had Allan been so damn uptight? Oh yeah, since forever. Since he’d settled down with Jen. Even before that, in fact. He was suddenly so worried about what kind of music the band should be making or how much work they were all putting in or bullshit like that. Making music often isn’t something you can plan. It should be fun and exciting and…

…this had nothing to do with the argument. It seemed like Tony wasn’t the only one with a lot of pent up frustration. Graham rationalised that perhaps the guitarist should be thanking him. After all, it's not good for people to keep things bottled up without letting it out once in a while. And Tony constantly seemed so cool and calm, either he was getting it all out with some great sex every night, or he wasn’t getting it out at all. If the former was true, at least he was saving Tony’s chick from having a right good fucking tonight.

Actually, that was regrettable, depending on how you look at it. And as Graham wandered down the corridors, trying to find his bandmate, he found himself considering it from every angle. If he was Tony’s girl, he’d be a bit put out if she wasn’t getting anything out of him. He was handsome guy. It was the eyes, the slightly hooded, striking blue eyes. That was the first thing Graham thought of when he thought of Tony, the first thing he could imagine girls noticed. It was the first thing he noticed when he met the boy way back when. Though he may’ve grown into his ever youthful looks, his ears now were the right size for the rest of his face- or at least covered by a thick mass of fair hair curling down his neck- and he’d ditched the overly skinny look for a little more filled out and muscular, his eyes remained very much the same, as stunning and bright as they always had been.

What was Graham doing thinking like this of his mate? He laughed at himself, shaking the thought from his mind. He only had to apologize to the guy to get him back in the studio so they could finish a recording, not flatter him with complements of his eyes. Not only would that be really weird, but it wouldn’t work. Either Tony would think Graham was taking the piss or he’d get all shy. It was strange that such a handsome, sought-after boy like Tony was not used to receiving compliments.

He was doing it again, thinking about him like that. It would make it damned hard for him to face the boy if his mind was in other places.

Well not too hard. As soon as he caught sight of Tony in the loos, a cheekiness came over him, the same one that had persuaded him to go over the top on the little disagreement not ten minutes ago. He sauntered into the room and leant up against the wall by the door, arms crossed over his chest, one foot balancing on its toes beside the other, an expectant smile gazing at the guitarist who was washing his hands quite quietly. There was a bit of aggression in his actions. Graham didn’t think he’d ever seen Tony quite like this, letting something bother him to the point that his actions were affected. He wrung his hands beneath the water hard enough to turn his slightly tanned skin red and pressed the soap dispenser violently, causing the clear liquid to shot out and spray half on his cupped palm, half on the sink beside him. He then, after rinsing, pulled way too much tissue from the dispenser and threw the scrunched up, soggy ball in the bin with such force it popped back out, settling on the floor.

“Didn’t your mum ever tell you you should pick up after yourself?” Graham laughed, gesturing to the bin as Tony pivoted on his heels. He did not seem at all startled by the rhythm guitarist’s presence. In fact, perhaps he did already know that he was in there, hence the aggression in his actions and the casual way he regarded Graham as he leant back against the sink, his lips pressed into a hard, white line. He didn’t even bother to acknowledge Graham’s little comment. He just stood there, glaring.

“Come on, are you really going to be mad at me over this?” Graham sighed, bored of this already. He was also really starting to get bored of the silence treatment. It grated on him. He waited for a reply. None came.

His voice took a more impatient tone when he opened his mouth again.  “Look, I’m meant to apologise to you, so let’s just forget about this shit so we can keep recording and you can hate me afterwards, ok?”

The expression on Tony’s face changed, which Graham saw as a positive. At the very least it might be an indication that he might start talking and he was right.. It just wasn’t the response Graham had been hoping for.

“No, fuck you. You always seem to just bypass apologising, like you’ve done nothing wrong.”

Graham swore he didn’t mean to, but habitually rolled his eyes, which Tony obviously didn’t take well. He didn’t get angrier as such. He, if anything, looked disappointed. He had that ‘why do I bother’ look in his eyes, while which, in turn, irritated Graham to the point that had he been considering a proper apology, it was now definitely off the table.

“Mate, are you serious? All I did was disagree with you.” He said, any friendly tone now dropped completely.

“You fucking disagree with everyone.” Tony retorted.

“So you shouldn’t be taking it so fucking personally.”

“I’m not. I’m mad for everyone. I don’t know what the hell has got into you, whether it's fame or something, but you’re bloody unbearable at the moment, and the other guys can sit back and take it, but I’m not going to.”

“No?” Graham was now laughing at the younger man, amused by the determination to stand up to him. He thought it cute, and knew that would annoy Tony.

That, coupled with patronising him, and Graham knew he was heading to a breaking point. He wanted to see how far he could push his mate, since he was already in so deep.

“What are you going to do?”

Tony glared at his so-called friend intensely. His blood boiled in his veins, mostly those in his clenched fists that longed to slug the rhythm guitarist in the jaw. Oh, but he couldn’t, could he? It would make for bad press, unease in the group, which was the last thing they needed. Then again, there was a chance the fight would be settled with that one swing. Graham would know not to mess with Tony, he might learn a lesson or two about irritating the rest of the band and Tony would get out all the anger on his bandmate. When he thought like that, it was just too damn tempting. Not to mention that Graham, as he looked down and saw Tony’s skilled fingers curled into fists, practically asked for it.

“Are you going to punch me? Oh that I have to see!”

Well, he didn’t want to disappoint. Allowing all the anger he usually let go of build up, he jolted violently up, stalked towards the older man standing by the door and let the knuckles of his powerful right hand make contact with Graham’s cheek. Immediately, the rhythm guitarist stumbled sideways, one hand reaching to stop himself from falling, the other grasping his bruised cheekbone. When he steadied, he shot a wild look up at Tony, planning his revenge.

While Tony did feel pretty sorry, he wasn’t going to say it. It wasn’t he who owed an apology. The only reason he was considering it in that moment was because he didn’t really want to get into a fist fight, which seemed the way this was going, judging by the look in Graham’s pale blue eyes. Still, he stood his ground, waiting for Graham’s move.

Which turned out to be an attack, heading straight for the boy’s wrists. He wasn’t interested in hurting Tony. No, he was going to pin him down, make him beg for an apology. Once he had hold of one of Tony’s wrists, he spun him around, bending the arm up his back, applying enough pressure to have him totally under his control, then guided him to the sink area where he bent the kid over. A short hiss escaped Tony’s mouth as he pushed against Graham, writhed under his control. Graham wasn’t that much stronger than him, he just had the upper hand at that moment, in a position that made it near enough impossible to fight against.

This was also quite a compromising position. Even Graham had to admit he didn’t really want to be caught by anyone like this. For all the strength he possessed in that moment, his crotch was pressed against Tony’s butt, he had the boy literally bent over under him. No wonder why Tony struggled. But Graham was not going to let him up, not for anything.

He laughed evilly, “What’s the matter down there?”

“Get off!!! Graham, get the fuck off me!!!”

God, this gave Graham such a rush of power. He ignored how weird the moment looked in favour of bending right over and hovering his lips over Tony’s ear.

He caught a quick glimpse of himself in the mirror above the sinks. The oddest feeling waved through him that he refused to address. He shook his mind clean for a moment to say, “Is there something you want?”

“Get the fuck off me!!!” Tony yelled. It echoed around the room, followed by a low chuckle from Graham’s throat that had the younger boy struggling once more in anger.

“I thought you wanted an apology.” Graham teased, “You can’t be greedy and have both.”

“FUCK OFF!”

Tony lifted his head slightly, enough to also see the mirror. He looked so stupidly helpless under the weight of his friend, now baring down on his back. He met Graham’s gaze, gave him a filthy look until he noticed something. He saw a flicker of something in his pale blue irises. He’d seen it a few times before, most notably the time they’d all gone to that club with that belly dancer, the one they all had a crush on. Well, a crush was putting it nicely. They all wanted to fuck her. Graham was looking at him with a glare that would’ve been quite threatening and annoying- due to the cheeky smile on his lips- had he not also got that sparkle, that wanting gaze.

Did Graham want to fuck him?

“Oh my god…” Tony chuckled, turning his head downwards towards the space between sinks that thankfully wasn’t wet or dirty. Graham had been kind in where he’d pinned him down.

“What?” Graham demanded. He didn’t much like the feeling of loss of power that Tony’s laughter provided him.

Still giggling, Tony peered up a little.

“Are you turned on right now?”

“The fuck? Of course not!”

“I think you are, you fucking creep.”

Graham felt his cheeks flush. No way he was turned on. No way. Not even if he’d already kind of seen the excitement when he’d glimpsed the mirror. Nope. He’d deny it. He’d keep on denying it.

And he certainly wasn’t going to let Tony see the sudden colour in his cheeks. When the guitarist attempted to look in the mirror again, Graham snaked his fingers around his neck and twisted his head back to one side, resting on the surface.

“Listen, you’re the creep for even thinking that. Now, you wanted something, didn’t you?” He tried to regain the atmosphere from before. Both the boys were mad, and Graham was in control. He had Tony right where he wanted him and… ok so it might’ve turned him on a little bit, but at least in that moment Tony didn’t know.

He heard Tony make a breathy gasp. The position for him was awkward, but he was in no way screaming for oxygen. He barely even fought anymore. The smile on his lips, though, had faded in favour of a more frustrated expression.

“Yeah,” The boy said through gritted teeth, “I wanted you to get the fuck up, because you’re enjoying yourself too much.”

Graham ignored the indication of his pleasure in the position.

“Why don’t you ask me nicely?” He suggested.

Tony hid a smirk.

“And here I was thinking you were going to make me beg for it.”

Something, the same thing that had lit Graham’s eyes and coloured his cheeks, stirred within him again. He stared down at Tony, wondering what his next move should be.

He decided not to give the boy the satisfaction of knowing he was right. Or at least, he wasn’t going to get defensive. He wasn’t going to deny anything anymore, not outright.

“Alright, that seems like a good idea. Beg for me to get off you.”

Oh yes. That had Tony hesitating. It was a moment before he piped up.

“Are you serious?” He laughed.

In a low voice, Graham replied, “Deadly.”

“Fuck off.”

“I don’t hear any begging. I guess you like this, you like being bent over, do you?”

Fuck! Tony struggled once more, annoyed that Graham had somehow flipped this situation on its head, yet again. Not only did he have full power over his body, keeping him firmly against the sink, but he also had power because there was no way Tony was going to beg. He wasn’t a dog or a child and he certainly did not take orders from someone like Graham.

But what choice did he have?

“You can’t be fucking serious!”

“I told you, I am.” Graham chuckled. He decided he was going to have all the fun he wanted in that moment, letting loose a lodged phrase he’d been wanting to say as he waited for Tony to retort. “And since I am actually enjoying this, I might as well take advantage of it.”

Tony... didn’t get it. He was totally confused, thrown off by Graham’s admission. He really didn’t know how to reply. He really didn’t know how he felt about the whole situation anymore. He just knew that his neck was starting to hurt like this.

He tried to arch it away from the sink, only to have Graham push him back down, smothering him further into the countertop.

“Plea-“ Tony gasped. For a moment, he was about to beg. And in that moment, after hearing a small chuckle escape Graham’s lips, the fingers around his neck loosened. He was given a little leeway to move. Humiliated, he shut his eyes. Could he really do this? Could he really beg his friend for anything, a guy who he was still mad at, who he would happily kick in the balls if his legs weren’t pressed up against the back of his thighs? No, no he couldn’t.

Graham was beginning to enjoy the power again. Perhaps a little too much. But he’d half admitted as much, so he didn’t really care. He ignored the distinct feeling of swelling down south- he didn’t press himself too hard into Tony in case he could feel it- and instead directed his energies to thinking of something to say next, something evil, something that would really piss Tony off. Because it got him off, for some reason. Just the idea of the kid so helpless under him, conflicted as to whether he should humiliate himself or not, allow the older man to manipulate him or not.

He leant down again, hovering his mouth over Tony’s ear, the soft, fair hairs whispering against the curve of cartilage tickling his lips. Tony could feel his hot breath hit his skin. He cringed as he felt Graham laugh.

“What was that?”

“I didn’t say anything.” Tony muttered.

“I think you did.” Graham laughed, “Go on, you can do it and I’ll let you up.”

Not a peep escaped Tony’s throat for a whole minute as they stood in that position, so Graham decided to make it worse for him.

Since he’d first bent down and whispered in the guitarist’s ear, he’d got the urge to do it. The back of his ear looked so enticing. It was stupid and weird, but it wasn’t the only thing in the situation that fitted that description. There was a small sensation of this being a step further, but Graham had lost the ability to really stop himself, just as he had in the argument. He succumbed to the temptation and stuck out his tongue.

Tony felt a more humid breath against his skin, following a wet slap that sounded almost like a kiss being broken. Having no idea what was going on, his mind drew blanks until he felt it; Graham’s tongue dragged against the back of his ear, right at the tip of it.

And Tony found himself sighing involuntarily. He caught himself, eyes shooting open, body tensing, but the damage was done, Graham had heard it. If he could not tell by the way the rhythm guitarist abruptly paused, then he could by the chuckle rumbling low in Graham’s chest.

The older man, after his hesitation, completed the lick before closing his mouth and reopening it again. Suddenly, he had plenty of things to say.

“Now, if I didn’t know any better, I would say you enjoyed that.”

Tony had no reply.

“And you called me the creep.”

The younger man let his jaw fall slack, ready to reply, but the older man beat him to it.

“You’re a very bad boy, Tony Hicks.”

“Don’t say things like that!” He snapped back. His vigour, however, was beaten by the chuckles vibrating through his bandmate’s body. Did he ever stop laughing? Boy did Graham know how to piss people off. Tony wouldn’t be surprised to learn if that was the first thing Graham looked for when he met people, a way to really get right on their nerves.

“Well, you shouldn’t have moaned.” Graham warned, letting his lips fall a little closer to Tony’s skin, rather than his tongue this time, “Would you like me to do it again?”

And this time, even though given an option, Tony could not think up an answer. He should’ve said a definitive ‘no.’

That is, if that was what he wanted.

Suddenly, the conflict in the boy’s mind was still fixated on whether he should submit to his bandmate, only in a very different way, and with a very different answer he found himself reaching.

Without a reply, which Graham found annoying- he really hated being ignored- he let his lips close around Tony’s ear, kissing him this time before running his tongue over the flesh. Tony tried really hard not to enjoy it, but it’s pretty hard when such an act coaxed feelings like the pleasurable shiver rushing directly to his spine. His body tensed, though this time not out of discomfort. It was due to the beginnings of a tight pleasure pooling below his stomach. It seemed that, inside him, his boiling blood and flashes of red behind his eyes were starting to convert into a different kind of frustration than he’d felt previously towards Graham. Instead of the desperate want to punch him in the face, he really wanted to pin him down on the floor and have his way with him.

He’d never thought such a thing about a guy before, but in that moment, gender wasn’t a concern of his, certainly not to the part of his body responsible for his thinking.

Graham seemed to be taken over by the same appendage, as he began kissing down Tony’s neck, moving his hand out the way, and Tony’s hair, to reach the hot, slender parts of his skin. His hands, now free, ran down the boy’s torso until they reached his hips, which they grabbed with considerable force. He dug his nails in tight to the thick layers of fabric Tony was clad in, in hope of feeling his skin, his flesh, his bones beneath.

“Are you sure you want me to get up?” He giggled lightly between kisses. He was not going to give up teasing his bandmate for anything, and that was a fact. He’d gotten off on irritating him, he’d relished his humiliation, why stop now when things were just getting interesting.

Of course, Tony saw it as an annoyance, but that was exactly what Graham wanted it to be.

“Will you just shut up for a minute?”

“Oh, of course not!” He breathed, “I want it known that you got off on me bending you over and…”

Tony realised that Graham had gotten complacent in his pleasure. Despite the grasp he had on Tony’s hips, he no longer had the good positioning that gave him all his strength. In one swift movement, Tony twisted around under him and pushed him towards the wall. As Graham attempted to recover, Tony lurched at him and pushed his whole body up against him. His hands sought out Graham’s, pinning them to the wall either side of his head. Now he could see the light in the older man’s eyes, the desire he’d only glimpsed, the damaged he’d actually done to the left side of his face. It was already bruising. Hmm, they’d have to explain that to the media, those that saw them as good, clean boys, not the types who got into fights.

Tony doubted they’d see them as the types who liked other boys either, so perhaps a black eye was the least of their worries. He suddenly thought of the unlocked bathroom door, the studio that lay beyond it, and the one room where three friends, no doubt concerned about them, were and may not remain. There was any number of people who could walk in at the worst moment and see what they really shouldn’t.

But… if he went to lock the door, he’d lose his power over Graham, and boy had he been waiting pretty much the whole day- if not since he’d met the guy- for a chance like this.

He looked Graham in the twinkling eyes. The rhythm guitarist was waiting, waiting for a next move, aching for it. His stare was challenging, encouraging Tony to do something, anything, so the boy decided to risk everything to keep his position. He glared at Graham, thinking ‘you’ve no idea what we’re risking for this.’

His move, he decided, was to slide both his hands up, with Graham’s in their grasp, and hold them over Graham’s head. He found a way to keep both wrists pinned to the wall in just one hand, so the other could travel down his bandmate’s aching torso, down experimentally towards the waistband of his trousers. He looked so unsure. Graham did too, but his mind was now set on this moment. He needed this, he needed a release for his frustration and believed Tony could benefit from it too.

“I want this.” He whispered encouragingly. Never before had he ever so explicitly given consent, never had he previously had to, but it felt right in this situation, one neither he nor his friend had been in before. It struck a little confidence into Tony, evidenced by the quickening of his movements. He spread his hand over Graham’s hardness and lightly applied pressure. Graham gasped, to which Tony wanted to administer a little of Graham’s own medicine to him. He chuckled.

“Enjoying this, are we?”

Graham’s eyes met his.

“Now you can’t deny that you’re not.”

The younger boy shrugged, slowly removing his hand, much to Graham’s displeasure.

“I’m going to enjoy it a lot more in a minute.”

Curious, the older man watched. He wasn’t sure what part of his friend he should keep his eyes on; his face, his wandering hands, his torso, his… trousers. Eventually, though, the most interesting part was his hands, the one that lingered between both their crotches before turning upwards towards it’s owner’s waistband and those skilled, guitar-playing fingers hooked around the zipper of his trousers. He watched as Tony pulled down his fly and palmed himself through his boxers, straining handsomely against a thick bulge within them. He watched as Tony got off, pleasured himself, leaving Graham practically totally untouched, straining himself under far too many layers of clothing. The older man whimpered.

“This isn’t fair.”

With half shut eyes and a blissful smile on his face, Tony asked, “What isn’t?”

“I was winning. You’re a fucking dick. I had you…”

“Oh, but you wanted me so bad, you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

Graham recognised his own tactics. Oh, they were cruel. He smirked to himself, almost as a pat on the back for being so goddamned smart. If only he could just work out a way to tip the tables again in his favour.

In fact, he didn’t care much about being in power, he just wanted not to be left out. He wanted to be touched. He’d happily beg, though he’d never say as much voluntarily.

“Fuck, look at you!” Tony continued. Graham could see more bliss, more pleasure building up tight within the guitarist. It was quite a sight, a view that cause want to simmer below his stomach. He recognised the pleasure that Tony was affording himself and wanted some for himself. “Quiet for the first time today. If it wasn’t so illegal, I’d do this everyday to shut you up.”

Graham’s voice came out as a half strangled moan when he tried to speak.

However, he did managed to say, “You’d do it because you fucking love me, admit it.”

“I love it when you’re not pissing everyone else off.”

“You love me when I’m not pissing everyone off.”

“I like the peace and quiet.”

“I…” He gasped loudly, “…really just want to come. Tony, come on!”

Tony grinned. He stared at Graham, making his own pleasure more obvious with rolls of his blue eyes and bites of his kissable lips. He even took it to the next step, pulling himself totally out of the boxers hanging loose on his hips and tugged hard, in full view of his friend. If a high level of adrenaline, caused by frustration and desire, had not been coursing through his veins, he probably would’ve felt more than a bit embarrassed and self-conscious under Graham’s watchful gaze, but his levels of confidence were soaring. He was coaxed on by Graham’s words too, as humiliating and embarrassing as getting your dick out in front of a mate was.

“Don’t… come on, I’m aching. Tony…”

“If you don’t beg,” Tony wickedly said, “You don’t get.”

To his surprise, it seemed a lot easier for Graham to stoop to that level of indignity than it had been for him.

“Ok, please Tony will you touch me. Or let me touch myself. I don’t fucking care anymore.”

“No?” Tony gasped, now unable to control his tone, “That’s disappointing, I thought you loved me. I though you wanted me.”

“Alright, alright, I want you, you fucker. Please, I want you to touch me.”

“If I move my hand, are you going to overpower me?”

Graham was not lying when he replied, “No.” And Tony could tell. It was probably the most genuine thing he’d said all day. So, if a little gingerly, the guitarist removed his hand from Graham’s wrists and feathered it down his body. Helpfully, Graham’s shot down to his fly and ripped it open. He groaned as Tony’s hand wrapped around him.

Oh, it was way better to have someone else do that rather than his own hand, Graham decided. Just the unfamiliar touch was enough to improve it, but there was so much more going on. Namely, the fact that Tony had an idea of what he was doing. Graham was sure he could make many a joke about that, like that Tony wasn’t really so much of a ladies’ man as he was a ‘right hand’ man, but he wouldn’t dare ruin the mood, by cracking some awful, distasteful and mocking joke unless, like the jokes about loving one another, both of them would know they were merely in good fun. There was also the forbidden aspect that made it all the more exciting. It had not slipped Graham’s mind that the bathroom door was open and he was well aware of all the shit they could get into, least of all the prison sentences they could receive should something like this get out. But, instead of scaring them shitless enough to do something about it or stop, it enticed at least Graham to continue.

And he knew it would not take long. He’d been aching at the most innocent of acts. By the time Tony had his hand pumping at his dick, he was further than half way close to climax.

So, it came of no surprise to him that he was first to come. He spilled over Tony’s hand, moaning with his head tossed back against the wall. He thrust up into Tony’s hand until the shockwaves of pleasure ceased. Then he looked down at the younger man, simpering.

Tony gave him a dirty look back.

“It’s not a fucking race.” He breathlessly snapped, “It’s not good that you were first.”

Graham nodded, “I know. I was actually glad, because now I can do this.”

He reached out and clasped his own, capable fingers around the base of Tony’s dick and followed the boy’s movements until he let him do it on his own. It seemed Tony had the same thought as Graham; it really was better done by someone else. A fact he well knew from all the chicks he’d had, but when directly compared to himself, and faced with someone who knew what they were doing, oh it was perfect. A few short minutes later and he’d dirtied Graham’s hands. Thankfully, as both the boys did check, they’d managed not to get anything on their clothes, save perhaps for some water from the counter and the sinks.

Breathlessly, the two boys regarded one another. They grinned stupidly, disbelievingly, not knowing what to say next. What was the protocol here? There wasn’t even one. All they could do was go back to how they always were. Nothing had changed.

“So…” Tony’s voice echoed around the room. After all that noise, the sudden lull in that bathroom was both too much for the boys, and not enough. They wanted to talk, to fill the empty space, but really didn’t, because it would mean addressing what had just happened.

Graham decided to go about that in an indirect manner by, once he’d tucked himself back into his trousers and zipped himself back up, nipping across the room to the tissue dispenser. He brought two bundles of tissues back with him, one for himself, the other for Tony. With that minor distraction, they found their voices.

“…friends?”

“We always were.” Graham replied, “I know I’m pretty overbearing and all…”

“You can say that again.”

“Fuck off. I’m trying to… apologise.”

“Does that mean we have to go back and record a song now?”

They both looked pretty helplessly towards the door, nodding as though to answer the question for themselves.

“So…” Tony repeated, “Do you want to go first… or… or I can…”

“Nah,” Graham waved that idea away, “We’re mates again. We go back together.”

“Ok…”

Neither made a start to the door for a moment. Tony pretended he was making sure there was no more evidence of their ‘time’ in the bathroom, while Graham chuckled to himself to get over the whole situation. Then, as though they’d agreed, they strode together out of the bathroom, into the corridor of the studio, which remained quiet. They silently made for their studio, keeping their eyes forward, their hands in their pockets, undistinguishable expressions on their slightly flushed faces.

They then walked into the room where their three friends were sitting almost in wait of them. Allan stood up immediately, waiting for a verdict as to whether they’d made up or not.

Tony opened his mouth, “He’s a fucking dick.” He announced, though that was not news to anyone. What was a slight surprise, though, was the smile on his face as he walked off to grab his guitar, and the one stretching Graham’s lips as his watched him.

“Yeah, but you all love me.” He insisted.