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f1bordeaux · 1 year

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Landslide | cs55

"Even children get older, And I'm getting older too" Life moves on, pretty quickly at that. Your last night with Carlos is one that you'll both remember forever. Even years later when he fulfills his biggest wishes. Warnings: Suggestive content, heated make out sesh lol, sadness, happy/unhappy ending? Mostly unhappy Pairings: Carlos Sainz x Reader(y/n) Word Count: 4.2k Poetry style | Story style A/n: I LOVEEEEEE Landslide by fleetwood mac and the way this song hits you when you're about to move out-UGGHHHHHH I wrote the first half of this then went out, got drunk as fuck, woke up and wrote the rest of it with a hangover, so forgive me if there are any errors. Anyways, enjoy this internal dread i'm feeling turned into a FanFic. Growing up is so weird, isn't it?

I took my love, I took it down I climbed a mountain and I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills 'Til the landslide brought me down

2012.

“¡Sainz joder!” He turned around to look, a smile splitting his lips. Antonio had a frying pan in his hand as the two of you ran through his kitchen. Carlos’ hand squeezed yours with so much force that you wondered if it would bruise. It didn’t hurt, though. In that moment, nothing mattered but that damn smile that Carlos carried. “¡Anda, anda!”

Finally, you reached the back door of the kitchen. Carlos used his whole body to push it open, hoping that nobody would be on the other side. Luckily, the alleyway was empty, save for an employee sitting on a bucket smoking a cigarette. Carlos kept running and you had no choice but to keep up-your hands were still intertwined after all.

Antonio ran out the door, stopping as he watched you two make your grand get away. “Bastard! I ought to tell your father! And your father too, young lady!”

It was the same threat he used every time you and Carlos cut through his kitchen. I’m going to tell your fathers that you two are devious children! He’d say. He never did, though. Antonio was a friend to both yours and Carlos’ parents. He could if he wanted to, but he didn’t. For over ten years, you and Carlos would walk into his restaurant-situated on a busy Madrid street-and slowly sneak your way into the kitchen. Sometimes, when he wasn’t there, the waiters and cooks would just let you freely pass. But, more often than not, he was there and it suddenly became an obstacle course of running past cooks, dodging frying pans and slipping between shelves. It was worth it, however. A small, secret alleyway that was blocked off by a fence from the main road laid on the other side of the restaurant.

On the left-the building that Antonio’s restaurant was in-was a fire escape. It spanned up ten stories to an abandoned rooftop bar. Over the years, Carlos would bring small objects up there. Pillows, blankets, a small folding table, a few boxes to keep the stuff safe. He had the place designed to his liking-like it was his house or something. He’d put string lights up there too, giving the space a dreamy, photogenic atmosphere. So many nights were spent underneath the abandoned bar. You’d slept there a handful of times. You’d gotten drunk for the first time there, too. That space was yours and his. It was Carlos and y/n’s spot; everyone knew it.

So, as you and Carlos climbed the fire escape, it was hard to believe this was the last time the two of you would be spending the night up there together. It made you nauseous to think about.

“Try not to look so down.” Carlos chuckled as the two of you kept climbing the stairs. He could read you like a book, obviously he saw how upset you were. “Let's enjoy tonight.”

“Easier said than done, Carlos.” He stopped suddenly, your chest running into his backpack. His hands grabbed your shoulders and he-shook you? “Carlos stop it!”

“Sorry I was just trying to get the idea that I’m leaving you out of your brain.” He said, dropping his hands.

“But you are.” You said, evoking a sigh from him. Before he could apologize-which you knew he was about to do-you shook your head. “Listen, I’m so excited for you, Carlos, but-I don’t know. Life is going to be so different without you in it.”

“I’ll still be in it, mi novia. It’s not like I’m dying.”

“But Carlos, you’d always come home to Madrid after a race. You’d always be back to see me. We would work on school work together. I’d come to your races sometimes.” You sighed, looking at the metal ground beneath you. “But I’ll be in college and you’ll be in the British Formula 3 now. That's a massive step up. And when you do come back to Madrid, I won't be here.”

He didn’t speak, not for a while. The two of you just stood there, in the Spanish heat, looking at the ground. Life would never be the same. He couldn’t say anything to deny that. Tomorrow night, he would be catching a flight to London, and at the same time, you would be catching a flight to the United States. You’d both leave behind Madrid and only ever return as guests to your hometown. Maybe your rooftop hideaway would go untouched. Maybe some new children would find it and claim it as their own. They’d find the boxes that said, Carlito&Muneca, in sharpie and wonder what those names meant. Maybe they’d sort through your things, maybe they’d turn on the string lights and gasp at how beautiful the place looked.

Being eighteen was weird. You didn’t like it too much.

“Let's go, y/n.” Carlos grabbed your hand once again, pulling you up the fire escape. Three more flights awaited you. The sunset had just begun, but the primary color in the sky was still blue. You could still hear car horns from nearby streets. The air was still warm. The two of you were still young. At least for tonight you were.

Once you reached the top Carlos stepped aside, allowing you to take in the scene.

Oh, mirror in the sky What is love?

The spot on the stage where Carlos and you normally sang and danced to his iPod Nano was now completely redecorated. There was a plush blanket, pillows, a pizza box, and those damn string lights you loved were hanging from the roof. A small card was on one of the pillows. It was, of course, addressed to you in Carlos’ fanciest writing.

Anyone would think that this was a romantic gesture. But you two were best friends. Since birth, really. Not a day went by without conversation between the two of you. Carlos was your soulmate. Of course you had crushes on him here and there-he was hot, funny, caring, charming; you could go on and on. But you never acted on it. Keeping him around was better than losing him.

“Carlos,” You cupped your mouth with your hands. It was beautiful. “When did you-Is that pizza from Antonio’s?”

Carlos laughed, amused that the first thing you pointed out was the food. “Yeah,” He said. “He’s pretty sad that he won't see us around town anymore, either.”

Your heart sank. Right. That's why this was all set up-as a final goodbye. In the few moments of excitement and shock that filled your body upon seeing all this, you had forgotten that tonight was it. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Vamos, let's eat.”

That you did. Carlos and you sat at the bar and ate, watching as the sun sank lower and lower over the city skyline. Somewhere along the way, he pulled some liquor out of his backpack. You two drank and talked, reminiscing over everything the last eighteen years had brought. That one time you spent the night at his house and started a small fire in the kitchen-from then on sleepovers were at your house. That one time you two took a day trip to the beach and Carlos’ foot brushed a stingray's back. That one time you were at one of his races and a driver started hitting on you, so Carlos punched him in the jaw and got suspended for three races. That one time a wild hare was in your guest bathroom and your parents weren’t home so you called him over to help and you trapped it in your mother’s favorite cooking pot. That one time he lost a bet and went streaking through his neighborhood in the middle of winter.

The two of you were hunched over in laughter, your abdomens cramping from how hard you were laughing. Carlos wiped a tear away from his eye. “And remember Mrs. Nunez? She saw me that night and sprayed me with her garden hose!”

You sniffled. “Like why was she awake at five am? And why was she gardening?”

“Literally! I was fucking freezing. The scream that came from my mouth after that-”

You both mocked his scream at the same time, laughing even harder as you remembered the old lady’s shocked face from that night. Slowly, you both started calming down, giggling as you remembered the streaking ordeal. Carlos took a sip from his beer. You drank from your rum and Coke. It was darker now, still not pitch black, but darker. You looked up into the sky, watching as clouds rolled by.

“What am I going to do without you?” Carlos asked. You looked back down. He was staring right at you, bringing the beer bottle back up to his plush lips. “Can’t you just quit college and travel with me?”

You scoffed. “And be what? Your trophy bestfriend?”

“Trophy wife?”

You swore that your heart stopped beating. Wife? As in marriage? Obviously he wasn’t being serious, right? Carlos was a playboy. He’d had plenty of girlfriends in his lifetime. From your past observations, you weren’t his type at all. He preferred dolled up girls, ones with fake blonde hair and exquisite makeup. He preferred high heels and short, skin tight dresses. He preferred long nails and longer lashes. Synthetic beauty. You were far from that. When you put on makeup, it was simple. You dolled yourself up, yes, but everything about you was natural. From your hair color to your nail length. You were a natural beauty-something Carlos had never indulged in.

“Very funny,” You smiled as you took another drink.

“What?”

You blinked very slowly at him. “Us getting married? Sure.”

He shrugged. “Why not? You don’t love me?”

“Of course I love you, Carlito.” You tried using his nickname to deescalate the situation. “But you would never marry me.”

“Bold assumption.”

Was he drunk? Or, was he shooting his shot because tonight was it? This was quite possibly his last chance, was he taking it? Was he working you up so you’d miss him more? God, this was confusing. “Carlos-”

Before you could even say another word, he was leaning forward to kiss you. His lips were warm on yours, a side effect of the alcohol you were sure. His lips were so soft, so large, so perfect. They pulled yours in with such ease, such delicacy-almost like you were fine China. His free hand came to your jaw, thumb resting on your cheek.

He pulled away first, much to your surprise. There was about half a beer left in his bottle. He downed it before speaking again. “I’m sorry, y/n. I don’t know why I thought that was ok.”

Your teeth pulled your bottom lip in. You’d just kissed Carlos, something you only ever dreamed about.

Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?

You reached out, both palms resting on his cheeks this time, pulling him in for another kiss. Fuck it, you thought. This was a new dynamic between the two of you, but it was one that younger you would be ecstatic about.

This time, there was more hunger behind the kiss. Carlos understood this was something you wanted, and you now understood this was something he wanted. His tongue slipped between your lips, finding a home in your mouth. His hands wrapped around your neck, not applying any pressure, just applying warmth. You felt so warm, so satisfied. This was finally happening. Why couldn’t it have happened two years ago?

Carlos pulled away again, gasping for air while resting his forehead on yours. “Come here, hermosa.”

You got off your barstool and sat on his lap, your chest flush to his. The two of you resumed your makeout session, his hands roaming your back, your hands draped around his neck. You moaned into the kiss once his large fingers snuck beneath the fabric of your shirt and touched your hot skin. It was electrifying, it was new, it was so good.

You could feel the bulge in his lap pressed against your thigh. His kisses turned sloppy, his hands moved quicker, his breath grew shorter. It was obvious he was growing impatient with you sitting right there. He was hungry for you. He only wanted you.

His lips attacked your collarbone, leaving little bitemarks and wet spots across your skin. You ran your hands across his broad shoulders, leaning your head back as he created a constellation across your chest. The night air was cold, the sky was now completely dark. The string lights were off, but the glow from the city provided enough light for you to see Carlos at work. He looked so good, so handsome, so perfect.

He chuckled into your skin, the vibrations causing you to shiver. He involuntarily thrusted his hips up, grunting as he did so. You hung your head on his shoulder as he composed himself. “Wrap your legs around me when I stand up, ok?”

You could only nod, feeling gravity shift as he rose to his feet. You did as you were instructed, his arm coming to your lower back for support. Your chest was pressed so deep into his that you wondered if two humans could possibly get closer than this. You really wished your shirts were off so you could feel his skin on yours.

Softly, Carlos laid you down on the makeshift bed. It was more comfortable than you imagined it would be, but maybe your mind was too clouded with lust to be rational. You were focused on Carlos and only Carlos.

A gasp pushed past your lips, not because of anything Carlos did, but because of a loud and sudden explosion. The sky lights up in colors of reds and yellows, blues and purples, greens and oranges. Sparks quite literally fly as fireworks rip through the once still air. Carlos is beside you now, watching the sky with such intensity you wonder if he has ever seen a firework before.

“It’s Saint James Day.” He says to himself.

You’re pulling the covers up to your chest as you catch the small, toothy smile that he holds. He pulls his knees up and rests his elbows on them. You’re amazed at how quickly his attention changed from you to the fireworks.

“You had no idea?” You ask. “I knew there would be fireworks but I didn’t know they’d be close enough for us to see.”

Carlos shook his head. “I didn’t know, no.” He looked back over to you, that smile still on his lips. “What a way to spend our last night in Spain.”

Your heart stops beating. It’s like he was hellbent on reminding you that this was it.

Slowly, he reached for your jaw once again, bringing you in for a kiss. It was soft, it was gentle. It was reminiscent of the first kiss the two of you shared only a few minutes ago. Never, you thought, do I want this to end. It did, however. Everything has a beginning and an end. The circle begins when you place your pen on the page and it stops when you’ve finished drawing it. The story begins at birth and appears like it ends on a rooftop in Madrid-semi naked with fireworks in the background.

The fireworks carry on for a few more minutes. They seem to illustrate photos in the sky. Carlos sees it, too. He pulls out his phone to snap a quick photo before turning it to you. This goes unnoticed, you’re too preoccupied in watching the show before you. He snaps a candid photo of your side profile. It was one he would cherish for the rest of his life, even if it was low quality and dark.

When the sky falls dark once more, the sound of cars below once again filling your ears, Carlos turns his whole body to you. “I love you, y/n.”

Can I handle the seasons of my life? Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older

And this time, it feels different. It feels like there is a non-platonic meaning to the sentence he says everyday. Carlos has been telling you he loved you since the two of you could speak. Everytime you two say goodbye his last words are, “I love you.” Every time he’s overjoyed with you he says, “I love you.” Every gift you’ve ever given him has been opened as he says, “I love you.” Every time you run into his garage after a good or bad race he greets you with, “I love you.” You begin to wonder if you’ve missed some signs along the way-if you were too immersed in the thought that, he would never date you, to realize he’s been fighting for you all along.

He answers your question when he speaks again. “All I've ever wanted in life was you. I knew that at the end of the day, I’d be alright as long as you were there, y/n. After a bad race, you were standing there waiting for me and I realized that it isn’t the end of the world. After a bad breakup, you were there to tell me that I’m not a douchebag and I’m actually a good person. After people told me I could never make it big in racing, you stood proud as my number one fan and forced me to carry on with my head held high.”

Your throat begins to burn. This was goodbye. This was Carlos’ confession.

“I have loved you for such a long time, y/n. It’s always been you. I have always wanted you.” No. “I have never clicked so well with someone. I have never thought someone was so beautiful as you. You don’t even have to try, either! You’re just so,”

He trails off, looking straight ahead at the city. His eyes glisten. You wonder if he’s about to cry. You know you’re one more word away from crying.

“I don’t know how I'm supposed to be ok after a bad day without you there to hold me.”

That does it. You hold a hand over your mouth as tears pour down your cheeks. They’re hot, but they aren't the same warmth that Carlos radiates. They’re painfully hot, his touch was pleasantly hot. You’ll have to learn to live with one and not the other, however.

“Carlos,” You choke out. He doesn’t turn to look at you, just staring straight ahead as tears of his own trickle down his cheeks. “Oh, Carlos.”

“This sucks.” He says.

“This sucks.” You repeat.

It sucks. Saying goodbye sucks. Leaving your hometown that you love so dearly sucks. Leaving your best friend sucks. What will become of the two of you? Will Carlos still love you? Will he return to Madrid and visit with your parents? Will he be saddened to see your empty room? Will he turn to look at every girl who resembles you and hope that somehow, someway, you found him? Will you do that to every man who looks like Carlos?

He leans back, laying flat on the bed. You rest your head on his chest, his fingers coming to play with your hair. “I believe with every bone in my body that you will do amazing things, Carlos. You’ll be a world champion one day. And guess what? You’re going to do it because you are strong. It’s not going to be because I’m holding your hand, it’s going to be because of your dedication, your talent, your strength, your skill. You’ve worked for this, Carlos. And you are going to do it.”

He sniffles, placing a kiss to the top of your head. “I love you, Carlos.” You say. And maybe things will be ok, maybe they won't. But you know that Carlos will go on to do great things. You know that he's the type of boy-no-he's the type of man to accomplish whatever he puts his mind to. He’ll fight for his life in that damn race car and then step out of it and make the whole room laugh and smile. He’ll make amazing friends, ones that will occupy the space you have always resided in. He’ll be happy and feel whole. He’ll think of you from time to time. Maybe you’ll visit one another when you both are in Madrid at the same time.

“I love you, y/n.”

And I'm getting older too

2026

You haven't run this fast since high school. Somewhere in the crowd, you’ve lost your husband, but you don't care. You have a mission to accomplish, a friend to see.

“Carlos!” You shout, waving your hands like a maniac. “¡Mi hijo! Carlos!”

A hand grabs you by the bicep. “You can’t be in here!” The strange man shouts. Did you run past some barriers? Yes. Did you push some young fans? Yes. Is security worried about your intentions? Yes. But there, only a few feet away, if the new World Champion.

“Let me go! I know Carlos!” You fight the man causing another to join in on the situation. Both of your arms are restrained and they’re practically carrying you out.

“Everyone says that.” One of them says.

“Please!” You beg. It’s been over three years since Carlos and you have seen each other in person. Life dragged you two apart. You thrived in college, becoming the girl that everyone loved. You made friends quickly and made memories even quicker. Carlos thrived in racing, too. He moved his way up pretty quickly, his Formula One debut coming just three years after he left. You’d seen the Youtube videos of him and his friends, you’d heard the inside jokes, read about Carlando-you knew he was happy. But, you two weren’t as close anymore. You’d text frequently, reaching out before a big race or after a difficult one. You’d facetime, too. You both had one another on social media, and sometimes he would comment on your post or respond to a story you had up. Life was different now, however. You and him were married. He couldn’t come to your wedding, it fell on a race weekend. You couldn’t go to his. You said you had work but watching him marry another girl would stir up some pain, even if you were in a happy relationship. You didn’t frequent Madrid all too much, choosing to vacation elsewhere when the time arises. But, vacations were rare now that you were a mother. This was the first time you’d been out of town since giving birth three years ago. It was worth it.

“Carlos!” You cried out once more. He knew you were at the race-he was the one that bought you the tickets-but you wanted to see him now, not later.

The commotion caught his attention. He stared for a second, trying to understand why two men were carrying out a girl, but then he saw who it was. “Y/n!”

He dropped the conversation he was having to run over to you. The hands of strange men were replaced by those of a familiar friend. You felt warm again. You felt whole.

He swept you up in a hug, spinning you around as you squealed. “You did it! You fucking did it Carlos!”

“I know! You were right muñeca! You were right!” The nickname alone was enough to make you cry. You hadn’t been called that in years. Since the two of you were in your teens.

He dropped you, hands sliding onto your cheeks. For a brief moment, you thought he would try to kiss you. He didn’t. But your mind wandered.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” He smiled softly. “None of this would have happened without you.”

“Me?”

Carlos nodded. “I carried your words with me every day. Nobody has ever believed in me as much as you have.”

“Carlos-”

“I love you, y/n.”

The tears were back, and they fell hard. “I love you, Carlos.”

He was pulled away to go do his podium celebration. The Championship had come down to the last race of the season. Carlos beat out his competitors, however, winning not only the race, but the World Championship. And as he stood on that podium, champagne spraying through the air, fireworks began to pop in the sky. It lights up in colors of reds and yellows, blues and purples, greens and oranges.

He looks down at you, a smile splitting his lips.

It seems like the highest award to achieve, but he hopes that in another life, one hopefully close by, that he can get the one thing he desires most.

You.

Maybe in another life, you followed him. Maybe in another life you two got married. Maybe in another life you reached out more. But in this life, Carlos is a World Champion. You wouldn’t trade his excitement, his pride and his joy for anything.

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 fanfic #f1 requests #f1 imagine #carlos sainz #charles leclerc #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz ff #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz f1 #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz smut #f1 smut #f1 angst #carlos sainz angst #max verstappen #pierre gasly

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cherrytreegrove · 5 months

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Hi! Came by your blog today when I saw you like my fics out of curiosity. Thank you for that & I see you’re a fellow writer too which makes me happy! ^u^ when doing that I thought it be cool to send you a request to enjoy a fellow writer work. Soooooooooo can I request a TMNT 2012 Leo x reader where reader is a sweet person who genuinely cares about & wants to help people which could be a strength & a weakness. Leading to sweet Leo be a bit overprotective over her especially her going out late at night where she could be vulnerable. Preferably it to be fluff where Leo is just getting butterflies with hoe sweet & understanding she is when reassuring him she’ll be okay & that she’ll try to be careful. Hope this isn’t too big of a request. 😅

You have no idea how happy this request made me!! Did this as a Female Reader because I’m used to she/her pronouns, but if you want a male or gn version, I can totally make that happen! Also sorry about this being short, this is my first time publishing a fanfic! Maybe I should do a part 2?

Kindness: Strength or Weakness?

Leo loved you with all his heart, he REALLY did, but sometimes he really worried about you. You were, what he could only describe as, an Angel, perfect human being, a saint. Your kindness and patience were incredible. Even Raph couldn’t stay mad at you and your kind heart.

When Leo would watch over you on your walks late at night, he would see how you would help stray animals, the elderly, kids your own age, children, pregnant women, anyone and everyone was a victim to your kindness. Then he would see how some people would use your kindness and take it for granted.

On multiple occasions he would see you lend money to your ‘friends’ and when he would ask, you’d say they haven't paid you yet. Many times would be shoved aside or to the ground after doing something nice or have all the credit taken from you. It made Leo so upset to see you get taken advantage of.

·˚*୨୧꒰∗ɞ̴̶̷ ·̮ ɞ̴̶̷∗꒱୨୧*˚·

“I’m just saying you should be careful, there’s dangerous people in this world, (Y/N), and I don’t want to see you get hurt..” Leo told you, placing his three fingered hand on your cheek. He had invited you to the lair to watch Space Heros. You smiled at him and giggled.

“I know that, Leo. But I believe that there are always kind people in the world, and a little bit of kindness can go a long way..besides…” You cup his face and place a gentle kiss on his nose, “I’ll always have you to protect me!” Leo blushed at your kiss and wore the most love-sick smile on his face.

·˚*୨୧꒰∗ɞ̴̶̷ ·̮ ɞ̴̶̷∗꒱୨୧*˚·

“She’s gonna get hurt one day.” Raph said, Leo turned away from the stove to look at his brother.

“Excuse me?”

“(Y/N). She’s gonna get hurt one of these days because of her stupidity.” Leo frowned at Raph. Raph saw you as his sister at times, he wanted what was best for you.

“She is not stupid Raph, she’s just kind, not like you would know what that means.” Leo smirked.

“OH SNAP! Sick burn, Leo!” Mikey laughed, high-threeing Leo. Raph chased Mikey around the kitchen with a wooden spoon.

“He’s kinda right, you know,” Donnie spoke up, looking away from his computer, “(Y/n)’s nice and all but someday she might end up helping the wrong person.”

Leo sighed, he knew the risk of your kindness. But he also knew he couldn’t stop you.

·˚*୨୧꒰∗ɞ̴̶̷ ·̮ ɞ̴̶̷∗꒱୨୧*˚·

You walked into the lair, completely drenched in water. All four of the turtles turn to look at you, Leo quickly ran up to you, throwing a blanket over you.

“(Y/N)! What happened?!” He questioned, trying to dry off your hair.

“I saw a girl from my class sitting outside in the rain, she was stood up for a date! So I gave her my umbrella and my jacket and gave her some money to go buy herself some food!” You explained, a smile on your face. Leo frowned, he wasn’t entirely surprised.

“You just give money to anyone who asks for it?” Raph scoffs, throwing Leo an extra towel to dry you off.

“If they really need it, yes!” The red turtle face palmed and went back to reading his comic book.

“(Y/N), you can’t keep giving strangers your stuff, especially when you need it!” Leo said, taking you over to the kitchen.

“First of all, it wasn’t a stranger! And second, a little-”

“Kindness goes a long way, yeah yeah…I know..” He interrupted you. Leo made you a cup of tea and watched you drink some.

“You really are an absolute angel, aren’t you..” He murmured. You perked up an eyebrow and stared at him, “Hm?”

“I just mean that you’re so sweet and kind to everyone, no matter how rude they are to you. You’re always ready to help anyone and everyone…why?” You smiled down at your cup and held Leo’s hand.

“I just really love helping people. It always makes me feel good when someone does something nice for me, so I wanted to do nice things for other people! I think we’re all good deep down on the inside, we just need someone to show us that light!” You smiled.

Leo had always admired you, and he will continue to admire you. He really does hope that the world learns from your kindness. He also hopes that no matter what this cruel and evil world might throw at you, that you’ll always remain his sweet angel.

#tmnt leonardo #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #2012 leo #2012 raph #2012 mikey #2012 donnie #x reader #leo x reader #2012 leo x reader

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yonpote · 8 months

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re: dnp onscreen "personas" lol. i mean yall know what i mean by that but i feel like explaining it anyway just to be thorough. this is related to what ive been calling The Shift.

2011-2012 was around the time where the barrier between real dnp and the people they played was starting to be fortified. and like, part of it is just, with phils channel once he wanted it to be less video journal-y and more weird experimental short films, he still wanted to entertain people while talking abt his life, so maybe he would stretch a tale a bit or act a bit peppier than he is irl. and with dan, he had concepts literally from the start of what to do with his channel, and how it was inspired by a lot of sketch comedy based channels like communitychannel and [REDACTED]. so its not like it wasnt somewhat personas from the start, but 2012 was when it was cemented, and once they became known for being a duo it was just further self-flanderization. a Phanderization even. like intentionally playing into the ornery guy who makes bad puns and the happy go lucky guy who accidentally says innuendos. real tsukkomi and boke moment.

ok im gonna elaborate on why tatinof was a fanfic now :) this is the PEAK of phanderization, to me it's not a surprise that the cracks in the egg PERSONAS were starting to show bc they were just Fully In Character for like a year or so straight. in tatinof, the serious bitter eye-rolling "ugh dont do a song and dance" guy was dan (The Straight Man) (dont laugh thats just what its called) so of course his counterpart was the silly happy just having fun "i wanna burst into song!" guy was phil (The Fool). but when you watch their making of doc, dan says that HE'S the one who wanted to do the song and dance. if youre an Enthusiast abt dnp, you mightve already known that dan was a huge theater kid and loves the book of mormon n shit. phil likes theater too, but dan LOVES IT like not just watching but Performing. BUT to a regular degular in 2015 just casually watching or a huge fan but hasnt watched every liveshow ever or a phannie who just really believes in the Phanon, this may come as a surprise. phil is the happy silly ball of sunshine right? like ok. these aspects of their personality (dans bitterness and phil's positivity) aren't exactly LIES. but like obviously theyre just humans. this is what Interactive Introverts was TRYING to comment on, but imo i think fell short of its attempt bc in the end they were still trapped in their personas for the sake of Giving The People What They Want

ok i kinda tangented so back to the personas, it's not as if today they are Fully Raw And Real with us on screen, that's just kinda inherently never gonna happen, there will always be shit we don't know about them bc like. it's still a screen. BUT now that they are more real with us, we kinda see the energy of the olden days back, ofc less MegaRandomHyper and more gay millennial waffling. but it's them! cuz they really are so similar to the personas, but there's always an underlying layer of This Is A Bit. when dan's annoyed at phil for something we know he's not genuinely angry ESPECIALLY when we see that phil does it on purpose to rile him up. i think something strange is that, it's not like during 2012-2018 we didnt see stuff like this, dan's always been silly and phil's always been sarcastic, but bc so many people had bought into the Personas of danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil, that ended up being cemented into fic.

ok i wanna ramble on more but maybe ill make a new post lmao

#oh i thought i posted this but it was just sitting on my ipad #myrambles #the shift

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myfandomrealitea · 5 months

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Hey so i was wondering if you have a piece on how fanfics about real people. Been in fandoms since 2012 and well growing up in such places you learn ( just like you wrote in your fanfic’s are a restaurant, don’t order it if you don’t like it)

(All within reason)

You can enjoy what to read. Your business no need to push it down someone’s throat neither is someone pushing anything for you to like. Don’t like it, it isn’t for you, move on.

I wrote something recently saying how surprised i am I didn’t find fanfic’s on a certain actor, seen as there is always something for everyone. Then someone jumps my throat and says how unacceptable it is to write about actual people.

I remember vividly this conversation has been had in the sherlock fandom when Benedict found some fic’s about him and it started the conversation “ actor fanfic’s; okay or not”

I told this person to move on and mind their business. If it isn’t for you, move on. There is plenty of fanfics for henry cavill / jensen ackels and other known actors so what is the problem with me asking about a new person who is on the come up. It isn’t a niche choice i know that actor ( alan ritchson) is going to have quite the fanbase after the ministry of ungentlemanly warfare.

So please tell me, am i crazy? I remember the debate years ago on fanfic morality being settled with the verdict of “ as long as you are not a creep who is walking up to actors or bothering them with fic’s about THEM not characters and keeping to yourself as ang other fic… you do you”

RPF is a touchy spot for a lot of people, but in short, writing RPF is perfectly fine provided you follow the typical safeguarding measures such as using sites like AO3, using proper tags to enable blacklisting, ect.

RPF is not and frankly has never been the problem. The problem is specific individuals with no regard or respect for real life boundaries and proper conduct.

Celebrities know RPF happens. Trust me; they know. They know people are on specific websites writing the nastiest rawdogging you can imagine.

Celebrities are also aware of the means by which they can avoid it. They are not clueless little creatures bumbling around and accidentally finding the likes of AO3. They know.

Just like with fan-to-fan content, its our job as their fans to respect their boundaries and choices by giving them the appropriate measures by which to control what parts of our world they see.

(Its part of why you'll never see me on the likes of Twitter sharing fanfic, fanart, ect. The filtering tools on Twitter are frankly appalling and the knowledge that my monsterfucking eggpreg ABO dystopian smutverse could end up on Henry Cavill's homefeed would leave me actually killing myself with a hammer.)

#myfandomrealitea #sephiroth speaks #fandom #reality #proship #proshipping #fanfiction #ao3 #rpf #real person fiction #writing

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seekerbr · 5 months

Text

Yesterday after I reread this pretty well-known research about the origins of a name that people associated with Yami Bakura in the early years of the fandom (Akefia), I ended up going down a little rabbit hole of my own after the creators of names that are associated with Yami Marik in fanfics, and surprisingly enough I actually seem to have found their origins!

One that I still see in fanfics nowadays is Kek, so it was the main one I wanted to find, so I started out searching about Kek and Yugioh on both Tumblr and Fanfiction.net and ended up in this post asking the same thing, with a comment saying they heard a fic called Creepy Hide and Seek was the origin of the name. I found it and saw that in chapter 3 of the fic they do use the name Kek, and even give an explanation of why the name (“It was one of the old gods, before Ra”)... But searching the name on the same site I found usage of it from 2013, before the release of this story (sep. 4, 2014- dec. 5 2014), so yeah, it isn't the first.

Thankfully, I found way better leads soon: the fanfics Swagger Dagger and Grey Days (both from 2013) credited someone named Miss Macabre Grey for the name Kek, so I went after their YGO fics and sure enough, found Problem Position, which is the oldest usage of the name Kek so far (Dec 8, 2012) and an explanation for where the name apparently came from in the notes:

“Kek is obviously Yami Marik. I like it because it still has that “Ek” sound like in “Mar’EK’,” and it means God of Darkness. Plus, if you look at some “common personality traits” of people with the name, there are some that suit Yami Marik a fair bit. Even has an evil laugh ring to it. Like, “‘Kek, kek, kek, kek!” the old wizard wheezed before finishing his brew of poison.”

So yeah, that seems to be the end to this mystery so far. As a little bonus, I decided to go after another name for him, Amir, but that apparently has a pretty easy to find source: Fanfiction.net user VanillaKokain says they created the name on a askblog on Tumblr, and it seems to be this long deleted one called @Ask-ryou-the-medium, Also this by the same person, so yeah, the origin has also been found.

#yugioh #ygo #yu-gi-oh!#yami marik #yami malik #meta #fandom #fanfic #seekerbr's things

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monstersinthecosmos · 1 year

Note

🔥 + kink in VC

(also thinking like in comparison to Anne's other books like CoSB and realizing VC is so fucking mild and antis have no business being in Anne Rice fandom)

Dsjgkalsdg comrade why are you asking me this you know I’m about to launch into a TED Talk.

So like, if we compare Anne’s Sleeping Beauty books to VC, I feel like the kink is meta in two completely different ways, like opposite ends of the spectrum. In SB, the BDSM is meta in the sense that it’s built into the universe. They are not books ABOUT BDSM, they are books about fantasy and the kinks just get to exist. It’s an immersive fantasy that takes all the ways people play IRL and makes it canon. And a lot of people who dislike them (based on like bad GoodReads reviews LOL) ONLY see them as rape books and don’t really understand the way it’s giving BDSM a space to breathe.

What vanilla folks don’t understand is that IRL BDSM is also fiction a lot of the time. Even tame shit like spanking and talking dirty—do these people actually want their partners to hit them in their day-to-day lives? Do they want to be catcalled and lewded outside of the scene? Probably not! And even going to more in depth scenes like, do you actually think you’re someone’s kitty? Do you actually want an assailant to tie you up? Do you actually want to be trafficked?

No! You dont’! You want to play pretend with your partner, with whom you’ve consented.

And I think this attitude in the bad reviews is also the attitude that fanfic writers get from conservatives/radfems/swerfs/fancops in fandom, that somehow writing noncon fic or darkfic in general is somehow making these atrocious things literal, when in fact THEIR EXISTENCE WITHIN A WORK OF FICTION AUTOMATICALLY MAKES THEM NOT LITERAL. And people need to understand that the consent for stories like this is not about the fictional people involved who do not exist and therefore cannot consent, but between the reader and the author when you open the book.

Anyway I bring that up because these books tell me a lot about Anne’s sensibility for kink. SHE GETS IT MAN. She wasn’t shy about it. So I think it speaks very broadly to the way power dynamics and monsterfuckery are expressed within VC, as well, even though these are two very opposite ends of the spectrum with her writing, I think that same confidence and kink positivity still exists. There's also a foreward to the copy of SB that I read, I think she added in 2012, and it was SO insightful about her process and her intention writing the kink & porn the way she did and I just think she really fucking understood what she was doing. And it's so telling to me because like, she mentions she used the pen name when she first wrote them because her father was alive and she was embarrassed, and one of the first scenes in SB is Beauty being stripped naked and paraded around IN FRONT OF HER FATHER LOL. So like WITHOUT GOING OFF ON A SIDE TANGENT something else vanilla folks don't understand is that so often kink is about the thing being transgressive and gross and uncomfortable; IT'S HOT BECAUSE IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE. It's not something that anyone literally wants, it's just hot because it's WRONG. And I think often about how this is like, the sex equivalent of trying not to laugh at an off-color joke, and how it's not that the joke is funny but that it's so off-putting that you laugh at the absurdity of it.

I feel like the kink in VC is meta in an opposite way, in the way it’s so symbolic and understated. Also because the vampires are asexual it gives a whole layer of like non-sexual BDSM dynamics are it’s SO GOOD.

So I think coming from an author was not squeamish about writing immersive BDSM, a lot of those themes are in VC and I wonder if they come from the same place, even if it’s subliminal on her part. Like the power dynamics, consent around biting, THE CONSTANT MONSTERFUCKING & FLIRTING WITH DEATH AKA “THE SWOON”. And even later in TVA with the introduction of the whipping scene and all Armand’s comments about getting tied up and having his fuckin, pit hair tugged on or whatever.

And it has some of those like sort of dubcon romance tropes that I think we can’t discard; being TAKEN! Being OVERPOWERED! It ties into vampire fiction in general with like, vampires historically being a symbol of sexuality, going back to like Dracula comin in ur window and everything.

But VC never makes it “about” kink, it’s just like SB, just baked into the themes. And like a lot of the more obvious BDSM themes in VC are also not consensual, they’re just built into the universe. Like Armand stalking/abusing Daniel, like Marius whipping Armand without negotiating first, like Akasha’s femdom murder bender. And even how often biting gets used as a symbol for sex, and how often noncon biting gets called rape! And the characters know it! And they do it anyway! (Also I cannot neglect to mention obvious tropes like Marius/Armand just being a teacher/student trope. IT'S A PORN TROPE! Or what about Gabrielle as Mommy!Dom? PORN TROPE! Quinn/Goblin twincest? PORN TROPE! The exhibitionism/public humiliation on the TDV stage hello???? That's like an Upper Floor party come on LOL. [this type of dynamic is also SO SO prevalent in SB.])

I’m not really sure what my conclusion here is because like, I just think this is all here in the books and it’s really excellent fodder to talk about kink and character dynamics. Power dynamics is so huge in BDSM and it’s so so huge in VC, not just like, vampires being old and powerful and having that as a status symbol over one another, but even emotionally speaking like. TELL ME THAT ARMAND & LESTAT AREN’T ABSOLTUELY SOAKED IN HUMILIATION AND BEGGING. Taking inventory of VC ships like there’s ALWAYS a dominant and a submissive, it’s so rare that people are just equals with each other, and it’s always part of the appeal!

There’s this psychologist Esther Perel, I think she’s brilliant and she’s very kink positive and has a bunch of podcasts and stuff. I read her book Mating in Captivity and she brought up this whole thing about kink and power dynamics and how like, it’s not always clear who’s in charge, and you can’t judge relationships based on who’s older, who makes more money, who’s larger, etc, because power dynamics are so much more complicated than that. She uses the example that if you’ve ever been in public with a screaming toddler, which of you is really the dominant? I think about this constantly!

And like speaking about real life kink being so deeply about CONSENT means so much to me with this conversation about VC, too, because like even looking at a relationship like Marius & Human!Armand or Armand and Human!Daniel, it doesn’t matter that one is a powerful vampire if they also feel so tenderly towards their fragile little human. TVA was very explicit about this when they have that conversation about which one of them is the other’s slave. So in BDSM even though we look at the dom as being the one in control, the consent is the thing in control and ultimately the SUB is in control by permitting all of it!

So I just feel very strongly about all of this, it’s all over VC, and even when it’s less obvious (relationships like Loustat, like Lestat/Armand, even Louis/Claudia) there are so many of these power elements to examine. Even if it’s not written TO BE KINKY they’re still there and I think it’s all connected, because I’m kink positive and I love unpacking this stuff.

AND ALSO LIKE ON THE ASEXUAL FRONT, I love it so much because like as a kinky ace, and knowing as many kinky aces as I know, there’s SO MUCH KINK out there that is NOT SEXUAL so I think it just translates so nicely to VC vampires being asexual, like it all makes so much fucking sense to me and it’s so fun and I adore it so much!!!

THIS WAS PURE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS IM GONNA POST IT BEFORE I GET WORRIED THAT IM NOT COHESIVE, ENJOY!!!

#asexual vc #KINK META #deep ass thoughts about vampires

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imagionationstation · 5 months

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this is a dumb au I really wanna make for the soul reason that I love Shinigami

so basically…

separated au.

Leo and Mikey are raised by Splinter. Raph is raised by The Purple Dragons. And Donnie was originally raised by Shredder and is later raised along with Shinigami. Cause I love them both and there’s not enough Shinigami out there.

It’s just a dumb lil au I have that I need to expand on.

Plz don't feel like you gotta respond :)

I hope you’ll forgive me because I’m about to overthink this way more than absolutely necessary because that’s who I am.

Shini is great. She deserved more screen time.

Wait I’m a fanfic writer why haven't I fixed that-

“Donnie was originally raised by Shredder and is later raised along with Shinigami-”

DID SHINI’S FAMILY- LIKE- KIDNAP HIM???

DID THEY LIBERATE THE ABUSED TURTLE!?

IS SHINI’S FAMILY ACTUALLY AWESOME?!

NO, wait, even better- Shini came into Karai’s life long enough to kidnap her brother. She’s a sneaky child, but we don’t have any proof that she’s evil. She just vibes. It fits her profile, I’ve decided.

An eight-year-old Shini just comes home one day holding hands with an anxious green child with a shell like, “I HAVE A BROTHER NOW” and her parents go with it because they’re used to her doing as she pleases and Donnie (maybe a year or two younger) goes with it because Shini and her parents were nicer than the Sakis ever were.

*OKAY SO THE WIKI SAYS THAT SHINI LEARNS MAGIC FROM HER FAM WHICH COULD EXPLAIN HOW SHE MANAGED TO KIDNAP HIM SO YOUNG- (Is it kidnapping if he goes willingly?)

AND DONNIE IS NOW FAM TOO

MAGIC WITCHCRAFT DONNIE ANYONE???

If anyone asks, Donnie is her Kappa familiar. Her family is weird and the Japanese are superstitious so absolutely no one questions it.

(He still tries to stay out of sight.)

How does he get back to New York tho? 🤔

I can’t imagine Raph being raised by the Purple Dragons. Those dude can barely crime- raise a kid? Nah. Naaaaah.

I can imagine some crazy things but THIS?

Okay, okay. I’ll give it a try.

-I tried and it didn’t work. I failed you. The cringe is real.

Purple Dragons of another series, maybe, but 2012? Nah. Nah.

Now, to clarify. I’m NOT saying it’s a bad idea. I’m NOT saying I dislike the idea. And I’m NOT saying you shouldn’t play with this idea to your heart’s content. Totally do it. Absolutely go for it!!!

The prospect amuses me. I’m just not built for that level of imagining. As it is your AU, I will leave that up to you. *salutes*

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a-fluffy-dog24 · 4 months

Text

This is fanart I drew for the fanfic I wrote if you like what you see then please check out this fic.Here is the plot The night after the apocalypse Stan is recovering from amnesia with the help of his family. Ford apologized to Mabel. They all get some much needed food, get clean up and rest .Ford talk to Dipper about his apprenticeship. The kids talk to each other about trauma how will they help Stan get his memories back? Will it be to difficult for them to handle?

August/22/2012 The night after weirdmageddon The Pines Family and Waddles stay with Soos, until Mcgucket and the town folks help fix the shack, they pack up most of their stuff for the night.Pacifica gives them all new clothes and pj's.

The kids pjs are pink and blue ones with cats on it and one with dogs.Abuela gave the kids Turkey, lettuce and tomato sandwiches and they ate them like two little starved puppies.Since they haven't eaten a whole lot in the last 3 days.And gave the boys some coffee. And offered them a sandwich.Soos let them stay with him like they stayed with him when Gideon took their shack.

6:00 pm "I'm going to take the longest bubble bath ever" she announces Mabel goes to take a bath, Dipper unpack his bag in the living room. Soos set up the boys air mattress for the night."Anything you dudes need just ask me" Soos offered

"will be fine thank you've done so much"Ford said "yea Soos I don't know what we would do without you thank you"Stan told him .Stan and Ford sat on the couch. "Stanley, how are you doing?" "Good I'm starting to remember things I think.", "Ok that's good let me know if you are in any sort of pain please,I'm just concerned that recovering from Bill might be painful".Ford said worriedly

"I will thank you poindexter" "I found some old photos from when we were children, to show you at some point". Ford replied "I hope that will help" "I think it will..you're getting better" Ford hugs him and Stan hugs him back. A unpleasant smell fills the air “Stan did you just fart” Ford Sided. “Whoops must be the coffee” Stan laughed a little Ford ignoring his brother’s shenanigans let a little smile out at least his acting like himself.

When Dipper was done unpacking he said "Grunkle Stan do you want some toffee peanuts" asked Dipper "Umm I think so...sure", Dipper handed him his favorite snack and he ate them happily. "Grunkle Stan do you remember how you fought zombies" "umm no" "remember I rose the dead umm....accidentally","oh yeah that was frustrating "Stan grunted he remembered Dipper doing something he told him not too and he did it anyway "I'm sorry about that, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you and I feel bad for almost killing those Government guys"Dipper apologized.

"It's ok goober don't do that again"Stan rubs Dipper's head " but after we sang and killed zombies"he added " that was fun I liked getting to use my brass knuckles "Stan remembered. Then Mabel came out of the bathroom wearing pink and blue cat pjs. She found some band-aids and put them under her pjs and one on her cheek,She had a brush in her hand and she smelled like strawberries and mangoes.Ford walks over to her and been down to her eye level and put his hand on her shoulder ."Mabel I would like to apologize for how I chose Dipper over you and how I try to take your brother away from you

I'm sorry I didn't spend time getting to know you. I hope you can forgive me and I would love to spend some time together if you want to". She hugged him. He was a bit surprised he didn’t think she would want to show him affection. He picked her up. "I thought you liked Dipper more than me." "Well I'm sorry I did it was rash and mean of me to not show you that I like you,but I promise I'll make it up to you can you forgive me please"."I forgive you Grunkle Ford I would love to color,or I could paint your hand and make a 6 fingers hand turkey, or or I could teach you how to knit your own sweater"." Let's do it tomorrow my dear How was your bath," Ford asked . "I could have filled a whole other bathtub with all the bubbles,it was so warm and soapy". “You didn’t use all the hot water did you” he joked she smiled and shook her head no.

Then Mabel walked over to the couch where Stan,Dipper she sat on Stan’s lap.She handed him the brush and gave him her brown puppy dog eyes.He smiled, took the brush and brushed her, clean wet hair he held her on his lap and she looked very glad. He doesn't mind doing this for her; he can't say no to her. She is so darn cute.She loved this because of the attention.Then Ford went and took a shower. "That felt amazing. I love bubble baths" 'you want to hear a secret I do too", Stan said to her in a whisper. He kisses her cheek and she smiles, "Yea we know" Dipper grumbles”Well at least I don't stink like a wet dog", "yea kid you do stink and have like a sweating problem" Stan teased him. "I don't care …… Grunkle Stan do you remember, the jokes you would tell us" they read out of the uncle jokes book.

"Like why did the skeleton go alone to the dance" Dipper asked "umm Because he had nobody to go with him" Stan answered ,"yay you remember"she cheered "keep reading"They read more and Stan remembered every punch line.After Ford came over to sit on the couch he was wearing green and white plaid pjs, "the bathroom is free" he announced."Ok I'm gonna go wash up" Stan gets up and Mabel and waddles follow him in the hallway

"Grunkle Stan I have to ask you a question", "what is it?" "do you remember when you saved us from dinosaurs''. "What no?""Remember you saved me and waddles, we nap together' waddles sat on his feet ' you taught me how to cheat at cards". She showed him her scrapbook and pictures from that day and it helped," "Oh right I must've taught you well because you bet me.,.thanks for helping me remember ""I just didn't want you to forget me". He picks her up and holds her in his arms "how could I forget you're my pumpkin".

7:00 pm Just then Wendy showed up with 3 pizzas and cookies, "save some pizza for me " he told her "ok" ."Who wants pizza" Wendy announced "me" Mabel shouted "me too"Dipper called, they all ate pizza together she brought pepperoni and cheese.Ford was sitting on a chair Mabel sneaks up behind him she hugs him ,"HUG ATTACK" "ahhh" Ford act scared "Grunkle Ford did I scared you"

"yes come here my dear",he picks her up and puts her on his lap, and put all 12 fingers on her belly and tickles her she giggles and then he sang to her"I've got sunshine on a cloudy day When it's cold outside I've got the month"he rubs her belly "of May I guess you'd say What can make me feel this way? My girl, my girl" he kissed her on the head. "I've got so much honey."she giggles "The bees envy me. I've got a sweeter song Than the birds in the trees. Well I guess you'd say "What can make me feel this way My girl, my girl,"she hugs him.

There is one cookie left and both kids want it "ok dudes who wants the last cookie" ."I do" said Dipper "but you already had 3 cookies"Mabel added "so did you"Dipper argued, "ok but I'm the alpha twin I should have it" she said "what does that happen to do with a cookies",he argued"because I'm older" "BY 5 Minutes" he reminded her "you know what you can have it",she surrendered the cookie "wait what if we split it" "ok sure little brother" they split the cookie. after they were done Mabel said"awkward sibling hug" "ok awkward sibling hug" they hug "pat pat" "pat pat" . Then Stan came and he sat down and ate his pizza, he was wearing red and black plaid pjs.After dinner their bellies were all full then Mabel and Wendy,soos, played a game of go fish."Ok dude go fish" "no I only have two hands", Wendy picked up more cards Mabel is almost close to winning Stan sat on a chair and happily watched the kids play.

7:45 pm Dipper and Ford sat on the couch "Dipper can I have a word with you" "yes" "I think you shouldn't be my apprentice, I don't think I can handle taking care of you by myself.And you are still a child you should enjoy being one. I don't want you to get hurt. I know I haven't done the best job trying to keep you safe. You need to go to school and socialize with kids your own age, and you need to grow up with your sister","ok I understand I was thinking the same thing I would miss my parents and my sister too much",Dipper replied"but when you are older I would love you to be but only if you want to ..I need to stop being your teacher and start being your…umm….Grunkle ". Ford looks at Dipper, he smiles back at him

Dipper itches his head. It looks very greasy, his clothes are dirty, he smells strongly of body odor and pee ." How long has it been since you've bathed?" Ford questioned "I..don't know..a couple, weeks maybe a month or two I guess ". "That's disgusting go shower now ” Ford ordered “no…..you’d have to make me….I don’t want too” he stubbornly said “fine then I will wash you,"Ford told him annoyed . Dipper tries to move away Ford picks him up, and puts him over his shoulder,"you need a bath you have a rancid odor " he insisted Dipper grumbles. Ford scrubs pine scented shampoo in with 6 fingers in his hair softly,he reveals his birthmark . He scrubs his body with strawberries scented soap.Dipper looked up at him annoyed "you wouldn't be in this situation if you bathe properly " Ford displease put more soap on the sponge.

"Come on this isn't that horrible It’s for your own good” Ford rub's and tickles his belly.He giggled Ford smiles at him and he starts to sing."Disco girl coming through that girl is you Ooh-ooh, ooh" ."It's the year 1972 and that girl is you Ooh-ooh-ooh," Dipper sings."You like disco girl too" he ask Ford "yes I had the cassette tape a long time ago” "umm I have it I can give it back to you.I think Mabel put some stickers on it sorry I like it so much I bought the CD" Dipper said "That's my boy No you keep it...Doesn't that feel better than having an unpleasant smell " "yea it does I forgot that feeling" ,"you need to do this every day a shower and deodorant it essential to so you don't get an itchy infection "Ford told him "Yeah, I know that I guess I just need a reminder "Dipper replied. Ford washed him again.

Then Ford drys him off he looks at the tiny cuts on Dipper's arm. Worriedly thinking that he fell down or something that hopefully that he wasn't hurting himself "that's when Bill possessed me he stabbed my arm with a fork"."Oh my that's terrible ..you know you don't have to fear Bill anymore" , "Grunkle Ford are you sure?" "I promise" Ford reassures him and puts some band- aids on the cuts on his arm and some more band-aids on the scrapes on his cheek and leg. Then Ford wasps him up in a white towel puts him on his lap and hugs him tightly. Ford kisses him on his head Dipper thinks that he likes when Grunkle Ford takes care of him. And Ford is thrilled to be a great uncle. He loves doing this kind of stuff for his grand nephew it's more enjoyable than an apprentice could ever be.Then Ford brushes his hair Dipper yawns and puts on his pink and blue dog pjs they finish, brushing their teeth.

8:18 pm Abuela washes all of their clothes and hats Wendy goes home and Soos goes to bed, Mabel fell asleep on a red blanket on the floor,Stan picks up the sleepy girl and tucked her into bed, with a warm orange blanket on the couch waddles got on the couch beside her you can see her blue pjs with pink cats on it she opens her eyes ."Grunkle Stan, I feel bad for causing weirdmaggedon" he can’t remember what had happened a couple days before the war.

“I’m sorry I really don’t remember” he told her “you saved us in the Tower in the sky when bill Conch me and Dipper…but you have to ease your mind…all because I started the weirdmaggedon” she said worrying that it her fault that he’s like this.

He tries hard to remember what she taking about and he doesn’t remember exactly how it happened. But he remembers that his niece would never do something like that on purpose."It was an accident right and I'm ok besides I'll be back to normal before you know it. " he tried to reassure her “is Grunkle Ford still going to make you move out” she asked she heard them arguing it still bothers her he might not have a place to live.

He remember a little bit he didn’t know exactly why his brother would kick him out. But he hopes that will change “probably not don’t worry pumpkin ” “ok I love you" she yawns.

" Yeah you too come on time hit the hay" she looks asleep he pats her head.As she gets comfortable in bed it starts raining hard.Then Ford carried Dipper over to the couch he was wearing, pink pjs with blue dogs on it. Dipper "finally I've waited so long to sleep on a real bed" "get some rest children" Ford said good night"Good night kids,"Stan shouted from his bed. Stan and Ford went to bed " stay on your side of the bed" "how old are you" Ford said sarcastically."I'm younger than you" Stan replied Ford rolls his eyes "right?"he can't remember for sure "Yes, younger by 15 min" Ford reassured him. "How old are we"he asks "65 unfortunately"Ford answered "god we're old men" Stan said then tried to sleep.

Back on the couch "Dipper do you feel bad for the weirdmaggedon stuff" "yeah a little, do you" she nodded her head. "I'm sorry… I gave Bill the rift" she started to cry. He looked a little surprised.

"I stayed in the time bubble he made.I was scared of weirdmaggedon happening outside ,and worst of all WE ALMOST DIED and it's ALL MY FAULT " Mabel sobbed.Waddles licked her tears away "Hey it's not your fault it's Bill's fault he tricked you, you didn't know what the rift was.

I'm sorry when we had our fight I didn't think about how my decision would affect you"He rubs her back slowly. "And the time bubble you were scared of growing up and you couldn't leave if you wanted to. But it's over, we're still here safe and sound.

He hugged her "And I promise that we'll never have to go through that again .Maybe you can talk to a therapist about it when we get home" " thank you bro bro I feel better I can't wait to talk to someone .""I think I might want to talk to a therapist too, like when I almost killed those Government guys and I didn't do anything about it or when Bill possessed me and was too scared to sleep. And he said he threatened to throw my body off the water tower and WE COULD DIE today " Dipper admitted he cried a little. She hugged him more "Bill died he can't hurt you any more I will never let you be hurt, like that again.. I love you "" I love you too". Just then they heard the loud thunder that scared her. She hugged him tighter and said "You want to go sleep in their bed" he nodded his head then they walked over to the boys bed.

"Grunkle Stan can we sleep with you guys PLEASEEE" she begged "Fine" Stan picked them up. He pats Dipper head let him kown he's good kid "Come over here my boy" Dipper crawls over to Ford's side he tells her "Mabel your a good girl it was a mistake" he reassures her that the reason.The rift broke was because he didn't trust to tell her about it.She understood that she shouldn't have gave it away but it not her fault it's bill's. "Are you scared?" Ford asks Dipper "no….maybe…..yes ".Ford tucked him in "I'm scared too" she blurted out "I've got you pumpkin I'm not going to let Bill hurt you" she hugs him. It was nice and warm under the covers much better than outside where it's cold and dark,wet.You can see the summer rain rolling down the window.Ford put his arm around Stan's shoulder Stan smiled at him tired.

Stan tucked Mabel in and cuddled her as she fell asleep. "I love you sweetie" he kisses her on the head, and listens to the sound of her breathing peacefully. He can smell her sweet scent of strawberries and mangoes. Then he sleeps too she sleeps tucked under the warm blanket on his belly with his arms cuddling her.Ford runs his 6 fingers through Dipper's hair as he falls asleep, "you're safe now I love you" Ford said and hears Dipper purring, like a kitten. Ford smells his scent of pine trees and strawberries, he sleeps close to Ford's chest.And he cuddled him. Ford tried not to fall asleep and he fails.

Mabel reaches out for Dipper's hand; they hold hands as an instinct like they would've as babies to protect each other and to know that the other one is there and is safe in their sleep. They were tucked in a warm blanket. All you can hear is the peaceful breathing and the pitter patter of the rain. The rain helps put out the small fires in the woods. They sleep peacefully through the night knowing that they can relax and they are safe and sound from evil.

August/25 A couple days later the shack is rebuilt and the Pines move back in.Stan is starting to remember more Ford tell him about their past.Ford starts at their childhoods and he apologizes for his mistakes.For shunning Stan for accidentally pushing him into the portal and Ford holding a grudge for so long. Then Ford had to ease Stan's mind. Ford sadly thought about all the years of pain .He had put him through emotional and physical pain like all the punches and the burn on his shoulder. Ford thought what kind of brother is and that He didn't even thank Stan for all the things he did to help him."You saved me you saved the world watching you I couldn't believe how calm you were I just wish you could remember ". Ford said as he started crying thinking that he started this mess with bill and now Stanley can't remember anything because of him

"I'm sorry for all the pain I put you through and I hope you can remember to forgive me " he mumble but it was Stanley that pay the price."Hey it ok thats in the past I forgive you and I love you "Stan hugs him Stan was able to forgive him because he had missed him for 30 years and he wants his brother back. He was remembering things and he kept hugging Ford and he calmed down. "Thank you Stanley,I love you too. I promise to do better,I have some old film reel of us when we were kids.

”Do you want to see" "yeah ". Ford got some popcorn and sat by Stan's chair. The clips and pictures were of them when they were little playing with paintbrush and getting paint all over themself on the beach.And goofing around at the dinner table,falling asleep on the couch and playing in the pawn shop, dressing as explorers in oversized helmets.Trying to find the Jersey Devil they do this all, in the afternoon they are so exhausted. They fall asleep together.August/28 That day Dipper and Pacifica went on an adventure,to save Mabel's face from M.r what's his Face.Dipper has a better understanding of what Pacifica is going through.

And Pacifica is able to stand up to her parent's rules and have fun,she saves the twins.And the three of them are able to become friends.Mabel asks Dipper to braid her hair, he braid terribly they have a good laugh about it.pIn the afternoon Stanley and StanFord go to the DMV to get their names and financials under the right names. After dinner the twins take their showers the Pines and Soos,Wendy gets a big couch and they have pizza and movie night they fall asleep together.

August/29 Soos finds the journals and Dipper got to write in it one last time. They ask Ford what they should do with them Ford wrote in it too. But it was Mabel who suggested throwing them in the bottomless pit. So they can be enjoyed by other people. Grunkle Stan Dipper go to the grocery store. Dipper sees some cookies and he begs Stan to get them both cookies.Stan has a double chocolate cookie and Dipper has chocolate chip cookie. They got home and sit on the porch. Well they eat their Stan talk about his childhood and they laugh. Dipper Dipper wrote in a notebook it a story he’s been writing. He tells Stan about it and how he trying to end it he sees interested and they think of things to add and they draw some pictures and have fun together.Stan takes the twins fishing in the river,one last time.

Mabel plays some music in the living room. She is wearing her new troll doll sweater it is blue,purple,green and pink. Grunkle Ford sees her and he picks out one of his old records, the song my girl plays. And she dances he’s nervous to dance. She holds his hands he starts to move a little bit then he twirls her around.She laughs and they dance together until dinner time. After they eat dinner the kids washed up then they took all of the Bill cipher stuff and put it in the campfire. They all sat by the fire and ate s’mores tell stories,until the sun came up. But the kids don’t make it past midnight, the boys picked up the twins and carried them and tucked them into bed.

August/30 Mabel nits a pink sweater for Stan and she got Dipper his own journal for his birthday a day early. It's blue and has a pine tree on it.Dipper got Mabel lots of stickers and candy a day early.After they go home the kids play on the tire swing.Mabel sat in it and Dipper swung her around, then Dipper sat in it and she swung him around. His hat flies off and ends up on her head. They laugh. Kids and Stan sit on the grass,eat ice cream,After the boys watch tv Stan and Dipper,Ford,Soos where watching some car fighting show.

Mabel meets Wendy on the rooftop and they talk about school,life Wendy talks about her mom passing and Mabel Comfort her they drink soda and watch the sunset.Ford makes amends with Fiddleford Mcgucket then the twins pack up their room.They all eat dinner together after Mabel takes a bubble bath and Dipper takes a shower .Then the boys tucked them in. Stan kiss Mabel on the cheek she falls asleep Ford kiss Dipper head he falls asleep.Stan kiss Dipper cheek and Ford kiss Mabel on the head.The kids sleep knowing that this is the last night they're be 12 years old and tomorrow they leave their childhood behind somewhat.. And they will be turning into teenagers and starting the next chapter of their lives.The boys look at them sleeping soundly knowing they will be able to get through as long as the kids have each other they close the door.

August/31 The next day Dipper and Mabel celebrate their 13th birthday they excitedly run down the stairs and wake up their Grunkles. Drag them out of bed they have pancakes for breakfast and then they open their presents from the boys .Mabel got candy rainbow yarn, a sketchbook and colored pencils and. Dipper got pens, candy and mystery novels and a camera.Then their parents call to wish them a happy birthday and they will see them later.After they get dressed then the townfork through a surprise party for Dipper and Mabel. They ate cake and opened presents, Mabel has a paper for Dipper and she has everyone sign it. The boys packed up their stuff and prepared to be sealed out to sea.And Soos moved in and the kids tried to hug Grunkle Ford goodbye. But he takes his coat and scoops them up in a hug he smiles, the kids laugh. He's going to miss them so much.

2:00 in the afternoon the bus came to take them home. They said goodbye to everyone, Wendy gave Dipper her hat and she has his hat and the kids hug Grunkle Stan for the last time this summer.The mystery twins learn Dipper can't force someone to love him.And he learns to put others needs before him own.Mabel learned to be less obsessed with crushs.Also to be less of an people pleaser.And that they have to grow up and take on new responsibilities,When they get home it late it's

9:00 pm at night their parents see them asleep on the bus Michael takes Waddles and their stuff he wonders what it will be like to have a pet pig. They stop at a fast food place the kids eat then go back to sleep. And Catherine takes her tired babies and puts them into bed together. She knows that they are 13 now but they always will be her little babies.She takes off Dipper's new hat and shoes she thinks the hat might be pretty special if he doesn't have his old lucky brown hat. And she takes off Mabel's shoes.

She finally got the pet she had been begging for years.She Tugged them in with a blue blanket. She loves that her kids are back home. She knows they would do whatever it took.To keep each other safe and to stay together.The parents can't wait to see what they're kids . Have been doing this for the past 3 months. They got their letters in the mail but for now they let them sleep. Then they talk at breakfast about the fun things they did and the adventures they went on and learning to grow up. Their parents are impressed by how much they are growing up and how much they can handle each other in dangerous situations. Their parents decide to send them to therapy to help with the trauma and to help them sleep better.Mabel tell them about their new great uncle. Their parents will be having a discussion with Grunkle Stan later. Dipper and Mabel open their birthday presents .A couple days later the twins go back to school shopping clothes backpacks and hair cuts.Mabel goes to the orthodontist and she gets her braces taken off after 5 years she supper happy.Michael suggest that they start going to therapy together every Wednesday and it help.The kids also call their Grunkles and talk to them about their sea adventures as a September wind blows by.And summer has come to an end.

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maraguanabana · 8 months

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Please. I ask to all lestappies and lestappen writers to gather around me and listen to this grown up woman that has gone crazy. I have no fucking idea on how to or to who make a request for a fanfic. so. tumblr it is.

I was happily scrolling on TikTok instead of doing the stuff I'm being payed for in my work, when I saw this uhhh kinda edit of Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc with the Evelyn Hugo+Money by ABBA audio. and I went insane. clinically insane. right now I probably should be either on meds or in a mental hospital.

so. I am kindly asking to any writer or anyone in general brave enough to give it a go, for a Evelyn Hugo Lestappen AU. specifically Lestappen, if it is not too much trouble to ask for.

I don't give two flying fucks on how or who makes it. I just want (need) it. feel free to just take inspo on my desperate request. I'm just asking for it, it's your work. and as the only thing I'm capable of writing are complains about anything on either X or tumblr or long-ass comments on AO3, I'm only able to ask and wait to see if I'm listened. me writing would end up in a disaster (been there, done that. scientifically proven. I still have two story on hiatus. the most decent one, since august of 2022 and the worst one, since january of 2012. I'm sorry, five readers. I'm not going back)

that's it. thank you for your attention. I apreciate it.

#lestappen #charles leclerc #max verstappen #cl16 #mv1 #ao3 #f1 fanfic #cl16 x mv1 #fic request #please #I beg #ferrari #red bull racing #f1 #evelyn hugo #alternative universe #PLEASE #I BEG YOU LESTAPPIES AND WRITERS AND ANYONE

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smolwritingchick · 10 months

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The Bangtan Gal Chapter 1- The Foreign Trainee

Chapter Summary: After being scouted to be a part of a new girl group thanks to an audition, Jen worked alongside her four bandmates to form the group "Amity". Things went great at first but then after a while, Jen starts to get concerned about her position in the group while the company starts to focus on the other members and their success. She then learns the unfortunate truth about the situation she's in and makes a decision. Motivated, she continues to be persistent in achieving her dreams thanks to an audition in her area which happened to be for BigHit Entertainment.

Jen meets Taehyung and starts to build a friendship with him. For those interested in being the Bangtan Girl, they learn the Bulletproof dance and No More Dream dance. They're also hit with a homework assignment, create a verse for Bulletproof and present it to the audition. Jen hopes to impress the company with her efforts and earn the spot.

Words: 10,000+

Author's Note: Hey! I wrote this story back in 2016 on some fanfic websites and am bringing it back as I edit the chapters. I wanted to put my perspective and imagination on what if BTS had a black girl in their group from America. This'll be a long story starting from their debut so enjoy the ride!

I have so many chapters already written. I had stopped in the story around late 2016 before the MAMA Awards. As I wrote this story over the years I wanted this character to be relatable and grow as a performer as well as go through hardships. It'll be a slow start but it will get better as the chapters go on, I hope you give it a chance.

This will mainly start with friendship. Not just the character and the love interest. I didn't want to rush things and I tried my best to add a lot of bonding and cute moments.

This is a SLOW BURN with my OC and Jungkook. The two will not become a couple until 2016.

As I planned to create this story years ago it took me months to prepare and research so I could get a good timeline. I wanted to add a lot of things like K-Con, going to school, Variety Shows, interviews, American Hustle Life, V-Lives, sasaeng fans and so on.

Please note this is fiction. Yeah it may be unrealistic for this to happen but I had a lot of fun ideas and just went for it. Also I am not a song writer so sometimes the custom lyrics may be a little silly

---

It was November 9th, 2012. Backstage at the Kimmel Center in Philadelphia, 14-year-old Jen sat in a chair, getting the finishing touches on her curly light brown hair, which was put into a high ponytail. She and the rest of her group named Amity were to perform at their last concert of their small tour.

Amity consisted of five members. 16 year old Hailey, who was the leader and main vocalist, 16 year old Trinity who was the lead dancer, 15 year old Layla who covered the high and dramatic notes and 17 year old Angelina who took care of the raps.

And then there's Jen.

Who was she?

Who was she in the group?

She never got the chance to showcase her talent on stage.

So was this worth it?

Back in early 2011, a rising new company named SongStress Entertainment was looking for young female talents to form another girl group. They partnered up with Disney and started to put up commercials and ads everywhere to promote auditions. When Jen heard about it from a TV commercial, she quickly went to tell her parents. After some persuading, and chores around the house, they took her to the audition in New York that was set in March. No matter what the challenges were, she remained persistent and her family supported her because of her passion for singing and dancing.

She wanted to perform ever since she was ten years old. Listening to artists like Rihanna, 2NE1, Mariah Carey, Big Bang, Wonder Girls, Whitney Houston, and Eminem sparked her interest as she begged her parents to pay for singing and dancing lessons. The lessons seemed to have paid off because after she auditioned she was called back a week later.

When she passed the second callback, Jen and her parents wasted no time signing the contract as she went on to debut with four other unknown girls, to form the group Amity at 13 years old. They got popular fast, from their adorable charm to their catchy songs and music videos. Things were great. But things weren't always what they seemed to be.

Egos began to get in the way.

As time went on, the company began to pay more attention to more girls than others. The leader, Hailey, even felt threatened by Jen's dance skills and the company forced her to dance slower, and with less effort to feel like she was a sluggish dancer. To Jen, it didn't make any sense since Trinity was the most talented dancer in the group and Hailey didn't say anything to her about her dancing. Favoritism came into play.

What caught Jen's attention was that she started to not get a lot of lines like she used to in the songs. She would only sing the chorus with the group. She is also the only one who doesn't have a solo song, while the rest have their songs recorded and performed at concerts whenever Amity goes on stage for a performance.

Jen was also set over the edge, finding out that Amity had recorded songs without her. Her voice was great at harmony but she wasn't credited for it. They recorded her and made it seem like Hailey sang the beautiful harmonious notes. As she took all the credit, Jen couldn't do anything about it because of the contract.

Whose fault was that? Jen's.

So maybe she did get a little too excited by the fact that she was going to be signed to a record company. Maybe she and her parents didn't read the contract despite the president's reassuring that everything would be fine and fair.

She was naïve and young.

Rushing into things without really thinking things through. Not thinking of a backup plan just in case things like this happen.

She wasn't like the rest of her bandmates. Her love for KPOP, thanks to listening to Wonder Girls, Big Bang and 2NE1, motivated her to learn the Korean language while the company thought it was pointless.

They asked her, "Who would you speak Korean to?"

"Why are you trying to learn that language if you're in America?"

"We're not touring in South Korea; you're wasting your time."

However, she continued to learn for her enjoyment and love for the Korean culture. It was difficult at first. She had a difficult time pronouncing the words. There were times she wanted to stop but her parents gave her encouragement because they knew how much she loved KPOP. For her studying, she tried to study Korean for at least an hour or two a day since she was 13.

Thankfully it's been beginning to pay off.

Sometimes she ponders what if she didn't do the audition and stayed in school just like her two older sisters. She could probably get somewhere with a college degree. But she loved being an artist. She wanted to do this.

And as much as she hated to admit it, this company wasn't the place for her to do it. She finally got her dream to be a performer, and now she was thinking about letting it go because of the mistreatment. She had to do what was best for her.

"This'll bring out those pretty eyes." The makeup artist explained with enthusiasm as she applied mascara to Jen's eyes.

"Oh make sure you put on more makeup on her. She needs it." An unfortunate familiar mocking voice belonging to Hailey was heard as she shot Jen an innocent smile. The harsh words made Jen clench her fists and glare at her. "What? Just telling the truth. They always say the truth hurts."

"Hailey, stop it. Don't be such a brat. That's so friggin' rude. Go somewhere." Angelina sternly called her out. Hailey responds with a shrug and walks away to get mic'd up. Angelina walks over to Jen with a smile and puts a hand on her shoulder. "You look fine, Jen Jen. Don't listen to her."

Jen didn't reply as she continued to be in deep thought about being in Amity. Everyone should be getting along, not trying to bring each other down.

The redheaded Angelina notices her frowning and snaps her out of it as the makeup artist finishes her make up.

"You know you have to stop doing that. Letting people get to you and ruining your pretty smile with frowns. Is it Hailey again?" Angelina asked.

Jen looked up at her friend. Best friend. The only friend she had in this girl group. Angelina was the one who had her back in this company and wasn't self-centered or had the fame go to her head. She was the one who let Jen know about the company recording without her as well. She was very grateful she had someone looking out for her.

"I don't care anymore. I'm not paying her any mind." Jen firmly asserted with a sigh.

"Ten minutes until the show!" The manager called out as everyone ran frantically for finishing touches.

"We'll talk later." Jen promised as they both walked outside the dressing room to get mic'd up.

"Come on Jen, we ain't got all day!" The manager escorted her to the stage before giving her a jacket to put over her dark brown skin. "And remember, don't dance so hard."

"I don't understand what the big deal is." She mumbled, shaking her head in disapproval.

"Big deal? Hailey needs the spotlight. It would be great if you remember to stand back, this time. You aren't the visual, get that through your head. How many times do we have to tell you that? This is your last warning."

Jen frowns in response as she watches the manager walk away. Frustration was beginning to build up inside of her. Whatever happened to equality? Not one person is better than the other. She wanted to be in a company that had equal opportunities.

The show was like the others. Fake smiles, watching Hailey's back, it wasn't fun anymore. Jen believed she had so much potential to improve and become a great performer, but her talent was wasted and not used the way she wanted it to be. She didn't want to be wasted and neglected.

Amity was supposed to be a team. A five-member girl group who had each other's backs. Be great friends and treat each other as equals. Not a competition of who's better than each other. It was sad that the entertainment business was like that these days.

After the show, Jen checks out her Twitter account and tweets 'Thank you for an awesome show Philly! #AmityInPhilly'

She didn't have a whole bunch of fans like the others since they were on TV shows, interviews and other photoshoots to get more publicity. She always pondered why SongStress didn't do that for her. They never really gave her a chance to show off what she could do as a singer and dancer. Or even as an actress if she could try that out.

She didn't say anything because she was too humbled. She was grateful for all the things she had done so far in Amity. All she ever wanted was to perform and she got that. She would ask occasionally if her solo would come up, or if any photoshoot or show opportunity was available for her. But SongStress would always give her the same answer.

"Not at the moment. Soon."

How far away was "Soon?"

She felt discouraged. It was like she was just there. She might as well be called a backup dancer.

While backstage in the dressing room, lounging on the couch, she checked the #AmityInPhilly hashtag since it was trending on Twitter while the rest of her bandmates came in. Jennie began to think about her birthday which was tomorrow and it started to boost her mood.

"Hey guys, I wanted to talk to you about something." She spoke softly, gaining their attention. "Since my birthday is tomorrow, I planned this singing exhibit where people around the area can showcase their singing for fun. Do a little meet and greet, pictures...all sorts of stuff. It'll be a fun gathering. I also made a song and I'd like you all to be there to support me."

"You know we have to practice right?" Trinity recalled in a flat tone.

The indifference in Trinity's voice made Jennie's stomach drop as she timidly replied, "I-It's after practice."

"And where is this?"

"In my hometown. Here in Philly. It'll start around 7:00PM."

"Does SongStress know about this?" Hailey asked, looking skeptical at the event that's been planned.

"Why wouldn't they?" Jen questioned.

"We'll see about the event. Anyway, group meeting!" Hailey called out. "I'm so proud of us! We definitely have to celebrate tonight. We're going to dinner. But uh Jen, remember what the manager told you about your diet. And you were a bit sloppy out there. Don't make us look bad out there. Did you practice at all?"

All the happiness about the upcoming event for her birthday left Jennie's body as annoyance was clearly shown on her sweaty face. Okay, so she didn't have a flat stomach like the rest of them did. She had a curved stomach with a small pudge but that was nothing to go on a diet for. She was already satisfied with how she looked. She told herself she did want to work out to gain more muscle and possible abs on her stomach when she gets a little older, but she wasn't going to feel obligated to do so. She'll do it in her free time.

Her hair was naturally curly and her thighs were a bit thicker than theirs. She even had light stretch marks on her hips but so what? Why does that have to make her go on a diet? She was born this way, and she was fine with how she was. Why should she change her look because someone else wanted her to? She wanted to look natural, not a Barbie doll. She was still going through puberty as well. The baby fat was still there but it'll most likely disappear from her body and face soon enough when she's a little older.

"You know I really don't understand why I'm the only one who has to go on a diet. I'm perfectly fine. I'm the same size as you. I'm not starving myself." Jennie protested with irritation.

"Well you're not going out with us, so get food at the hotel and get yelled at by the manager. It's on you."

Jennie shakes her head in disbelief. "I really can't stand you."

"Whoa, what did I do?" Hailey faked a shocked look.

"I think you know what you've done. This is so unfair."

"It's not that serious." Layla sighed

"It is serious. Almost all of you have the biggest egos I've ever seen and it's like you're forgetting that we all made Amity and we work as a team. Can't you see how wrong this is? How I'm the only one who has to dance slower while you guys give it your all? I want to put as much effort as everyone else." Jen exclaimed

"Jen everything is going to be okay-" Angelina tried to reassure but she waved her hand and shook her head.

"I'm gonna go. Enjoy dinner." She grabs her bags and leaves the room.

Hailey sighs out of annoyance. "This is why you don't have young people in groups because they always want to act like brats. It should've just been the 4 of us, but no~ they wanted one more person and they had to pick her out of all people. She doesn't do anything but whine and complain-"

"Hailey shut up!" Angelina exclaimed sharply while standing up. "You're the brat here."

"Excuse me? Who do you think you're talking to?"

"You're not superior to any of us just because you're the leader. And if I were betting on the future of Amity...I'd say we'll disband and it'll all be because of you."

Hailey huffed in dissatisfaction. "I am so telling the manager on the both of you."

"Oh go ahead. The only reason you're here is because the vice president is your father. Did you even audition for SongStress or did you get everything handed to you on a silver platter?" The redhead questioned. Taking the silence as an answer, she retrieved her bag and grumbled, "That's what I thought."

---

An hour had passed since Jen left backstage and went back into the hotel room she shared with Angelina. She was lying on her back in bed, looking at the ceiling as her stomach continued to growl mercilessly.

"I'm so hungry." She grumbled and clutched her stomach.

She managed to buy a couple of bags of chips in a vending machine with the paper money she had on her but she craved food to satisfy her hunger.

Suddenly she sees Angelina with a bright smile on her face and a large box of pizza in hand, walking inside the room.

"Let's eat biatch~!" she cheerfully said and placed the pizza on the bed before parking herself on the bed as well.

"I thought you were at dinner!" Jen stammered, looking wide-eyed at the pizza on the bed.

"I can't stand those girls, I'm not hanging out with them." She responded with a shrug.

"But I'm supposed to go on that dumb diet..." Jen grumbled.

"Bitch eat. I don't give a crap what they say, you are eating to your heart's content. Don't starve yourself because they want you to look a certain way. You know what they're trying to do is wrong. I see it, you see it. You have to stand your ground and speak up."

"But if it gets me fired then what?"

"I would rather be fired. I'm eating all the pizza I want. They can't stop me. And they won't stop you. Sit. Eat. Chill. I gotta vent to you about Hailey."

Jen happily sits back on the bed and bites into the hot, cheesy pepperoni pizza that was fresh from Pizza Hut. "What happened with you and Hailey?"

"Oh my gosh...I don't think I can take much more of this. She keeps talking crap about you. She thinks the world revolves around her. And it's like the others are followers, I swear. They always wanna just back up what she says. Or just stand there and agree with everything she says. Like are you blind?" She retorted as she started to get angry thinking about the situation.

"Well, she does have power over us because of her father..." Jen grumbled.

"And that shouldn't be the case. She should work hard and not get an easy route just because of some connection with family. I always see that these days. I mean I know it is great to have connections but still endure the hard work that others dealt with who started from the bottom."

"Yeah, but that's not how the world seems to work." Jennie trailed off, thinking about the future.

"Enough about her. I have another serious question to ask."

"What is it?"

"You thinking of leaving?" Angelina assumed. From the shocked look on Jennie's face, she gets her answer, mumbling "I thought so."

"I have to, I just can't do this anymore." Jen pointed out with a sad smile. "I talked to my agent and let her know everything."

"I understand. But are you still going to sing?"

"Yes. I still want to perform."

The redheaded girl nodded in approval. "Good. Whenever you leave, it'll be worth it. So don't worry. Just stay in touch with me. I'm gonna miss you. Whatever the future holds for you, I'll be supporting you."

Jen smiled. "Thank you, Angie. I'll be supporting you too!"

"Now let's watch some Spongebob." She grabbed the remote off the nightstand.

Jennie giggled at her. "Aren't you too old for that?"

"Ha! You're NEVER too old for Spongebob."

-------

November 10th 2012. Jennie was finally 15 years old. She went to the studio in a bright mood, happily thanking everyone for the birthday wishes. She received birthday phone calls from her family and tweets from fans.

The day starts like always. Dance practice and then recording in the studio. But she couldn't help but wonder if she'd get a surprise party just like all the other girls have on their birthdays. But as the day went on, she didn't receive anything after she left the studio. She tried not to feel too disappointed as she got herself ready for the 1st annual Singing Exhibit she created. It was called, "Avid Vocals" that was in a small lounge with a stage.

When she arrived, she was grateful for the turnout. There were over 120 people in the place. A good start for a nice little event, to meet people who are passionate about singing and dancing like herself.

She makes her way up the stage and gives her welcoming speech.

"What's up, everybody!?" She grinned at the crowd and waved. "Thank you so much for coming tonight to the first annual Avid Vocals where we all come together to sing and dance to our heart's content and meet and greet with each other. I've been wanting to do this for a while now, bringing people together who enjoy performing for fun, and I'm very happy with the turnout so far. At this time, let's get started with the first performance! And if anyone else wants to perform, there's a sign-in sheet by the table. So just write your name and the song, and sing out! Enjoy the show!"

Once she left the stage, she made her way to mingle and talk with fans, signing autographs and taking photos. The performances so far were all very unique and fun to watch. There were goofy performances, singing songs like YMCA, We Will Rock You and Party Rock Anthem. Then there were performances that slayed with Single Ladies, TiK ToK, and So What by Pink.

After watching some performances, it was time for her to get on stage. She sat on a stool with her guitar in her hands.

"I've written a little song and wanted to share it with you guys." She looked around to find any members of Amity but didn't. "I hope you guys enjoy!"

They applaud her as she begins to strum along on her guitar. While she sang, she tried to search for any members of Amity in the crowd but couldn't find anyone. After she finished her song, she received a huge positive feedback from the crowd as she went backstage.

She looked at her phone while thinking that any members would find her backstage to see her but sees a text message sent 30 minutes before she went on stage from Angelina.

'You are SO not gonna believe this...the assholes kept me back and forced me to work on my raps...the rest went out somewhere to the movies. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to support you...I'll see you back at the hotel and we'll hang :'('

Jennie lets out a sigh. She knew Angelina was telling the truth. She had a feeling Hailey would try to do something after asking her if the manager knew about it. She wasn't mad at anyone. It'd be a waste of energy.

As soon as Jennie goes back into her hotel room, she sees Angelina waiting for her anxiously. Once she heard the door close, her head shot up and she quickly got off the bed.

"They kept me on purpose, I tried everything, I'm so sorry I wasn't there." Angelina had tears in her eyes and hugged her tightly.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it." Jen responded with a sigh.

"No, it's not."

"Don't worry about it, I still had a nice birthday." She reassured. "I'm just glad I got to meet some nice fans and perform today."

"I'm sure it was a fun event. Hey, I got you something to make up for it. I hope you like it."

Hearing that, Jen's eyes light up. "Really!?"

"Yep! Close them eyes girl. And no peeking." She addressed, going back to the bed. After a few moments, she hands her a small bag. "You can open them."

Jen quickly opens her eyes and sees a pink bag in front of her. She grins widely and digs right inside to see all the CDs so far from Wonder Girls and 2NE1. "GAH! MY GIRLS~" She wrapped her arms around her for a big hug, earning a loud laugh from the redhead.

"I knew you'd react like that." Angelina chuckled and was released. "I'm not really into KPOP, never really heard of it, but I went on YouTube, listened to it and they sound pretty damn good. Both groups."

"Thank you, for this. Really. This is awesome."

"Of course. Oh, and this one group...Bang bang-wait no, it's called Big Bang." She corrected herself as Jen nodded at the correct name of the group.

"Why are they all so hot?" Angelina questioned, making Jen laugh out loud. "No, I'm serious. That is too much sexiness. That's not nice!" She crossed her arms, shaking her head.

"You'll never get used to it, trust me." The birthday girl sits on the bed. "My favorite is T.O.P. I have a big crush on him. He's so cool. I would love to meet him one day. Along with Wonder Girls and 2NE1."

"Hey, you never know. Maybe you'll get some VIP Tickets to a concert if they're in America."

"Yeah...but I wouldn't mind performing like them."

"What do you mean?"

"I wouldn't mind performing KPOP. Easier said than done right? But I love how they perform and their awesome dances."

"KPOP? That'll be interesting to see. Whatever your heart desires, I say go for it. Work hard, do research, and go for it. Anything is possible as long as you work hard for it. I would talk to your agent about that."

Jen nodded. "That's not a bad idea."

"So we're renewing our contracts tomorrow. Are you going to renew it?"

Jennie shakes her head. "I was talking to my family and agent about it. I think it's time for me to close this chapter in my life and move on."

Angelina nodded. "Do what's best for you."

----

Today was the most difficult day for Jennie as she made her way to SongStress' office to meet in the boardroom. She walked with her agent, who has been a family friend of hers since she started in Amity. Her name was Diana Parker.

Jen's parents made sure to do their research when finding someone to really aid and be there for her while she was in the entertainment business. And Diana wasn't going to let SongStress make Jennie feel obligated to resign with them after all the crap she's dealt with.

Once they walked in, they sat in front of the manager, the President of SongStress, the Vice President, HR, the Supervisor, and the executive.

"All right Jen, here, you can sign right here." The Vice President handed her the pen.

"I won't be needing that." She replied in a low voice.

"Oh? Did you bring your own? Came here prepared, I admire that." He chuckled.

"No, I mean I'm not signing that."

The room goes silent as everyone but Diana stares at her, trying to comprehend what she just said.

"...What do you mean you're not signing?" The President slowly asked.

"I don't want to renew my contract." She firmly said as they looked at her in shock.

"How about we put more money in for you? Then you'll sign?" The President suggested.

"You heard the girl. She's not signing." Her agent spoke up.

"I wasn't talking to you." He snapped at Diana and turned back to Jen in a panic. "How much do you want for the next few years?"

"No sir, I think my time is up here." Jen declared.

"What do you want to have your solo? Is that what this is about? Okay fine. We'll have your solo for the next album." The Vice President exclaimed.

Diana managed to keep her laughs to herself at how panicked SongStress was. "This is too funny." She murmured. "You feel obligated to do this, right?"

SongStress continued to ignore her as their full attention was on Jen. Jen felt like this was the most attention they had given her since she first started in the group.

"You want to be in TV Shows? We got you covered." The manager pointed out.

"Why are you doing all this now and not when I was patiently waiting and asking when it would be my turn?" Jen questioned.

"Look we have been busy and-"

"Very busy with Hailey, that's for sure." She pointed out.

"Look we need you-" The President looked at her in despair.

"No, you don't. You need me to have Hailey be the spotlight. I said no, so please just let me leave this company." She pleaded, earning harsh glares from them as they gave up.

"Fine. Then leave." The President waved her away.

"Thank you for this experience." She stood up and headed to the door with Diana.

"Oh and Jen?" The President spoke up as she stopped and turned. "I hope you realize how much of a mistake you're making." He warned, narrowing his eyes.

She smiled and turned back around. "I hope you realize how much of a blessing this decision was for me."

After packing her things, and saying goodbye to Angelina, Jen decides to unfollow Amity on Instagram and Twitter but Angelina as fans started questioning it. After a couple of hours, she was fed up with the constant notifications of Amity and decided to just deactivate her Twitter and delete her Instagram to get away from it all.

------

After leaving and going back home, Jennie went back to high school, while continuing to learn Korean and training for singing and dancing. Things were how they used to be. Going to school, still singing and dancing for fun. But she felt like something was missing. She still wanted to perform. But she didn't want to be in another situation like she was with SongStress. As a result, she researched different companies. The K-Pop itch came back as she decided to check out what SM Entertainment and YG Entertainment were offering.

She managed to go to an SM Entertainment audition but they told her she was not what they were looking for and she didn't look like a K-Pop star. She was upset at the unsuccessful attempt but she was glad they didn't take her. She didn't want to get any plastic surgery if they wanted her to.

As much as she wanted to be a part of SM Entertainment, she felt like their style wasn't for her and she wanted to be a part of a company that wasn't one of the huge companies if possible. Start from the bottom and work her way up. Win awards and break records that aren't from the Big 3 companies.

As 2013 rolls around, she suddenly gets a phone call out of the blue from Diana in mid-January.

"This is rare!" Jen beamed, happy to hear her voice.

"Very, it's been a while! How you been?"

"I'm doing all right. But I'm getting that itch again."

"Well, you're in luck because it's about to be scratched."

"What do you mean?"

"I was just curious, you still want to sing and dance, right?"

"Right!"

"You still studying Korean?"

"You betcha!"

"There's an audition coming up, for a South Korean Company called BigHit Entertainment. They're looking for some trainees. Now, I know it's not like SM Entertainment or YG Entertainment, and BigHit seems like they're not big on foreigners at the moment but you never know what'll happen. Don't let that discourage you. You up for it?"

"It's worth a shot. I want to try."

"Okay, I'll set you up so you can go to the audition in New York. Start preparing. I'll email you what they're looking for so you can practice."

"Thank you so much!"

After a week of training, Jen and her parents arrive at the private audition. She heads inside to sit in the waiting room, while she sees others, older and even younger people preparing for their audition. One by one their names were called as they went inside.

"Jennifer Walker." A woman called her name, standing in the doorway with a clipboard in hand.

Hearing her name get called caused her stomach to drop. Jennie attempts to ignore the nervousness as she stands up and is led inside by the woman.

'Everything is going to be OK. You worked hard, things will be fine.' She tries to reassure herself as she goes into a dance practice room where she sees the panel of three males, staring at her as soon as she walks in.

The three males look up at her. Before they were checking out her headshots and information.

Age 15

5 foot 5

Her experience with singing and dancing since elementary school and being a part of SongStress Entertainment with Amity for over a year. She also has four years of experience playing the guitar. Her heart began to race as she remembered to bow and politely greet them.

"So you have experience with music videos and performing live?" She was asked.

"Yes. Amity has done several music videos and a tour around the US."

"Why did you leave?"

Jennie swallowed as she, unfortunately, remembered bad memories. "New opportunities. I felt like SongStress wasn't the place for me. I still want to perform. I love performing."

"Sing an English song for us."

She decides to sing Rihanna's California King Bed with an instrumental from her phone. She starts nervously, but after a few lines, she gains more confidence and sings out, before they stop her after the chorus. Afterward, she had to sing a Korean song, and she chose Wonder Girls' Me In as she found an instrumental on her phone.

"Hey beautiful boy, let me love you, right now~" The nervousness was gone from her singing and filled with more power and confidence as she sang until after the chorus. She began to feel her face heat up after they told her to stop while she was getting too into it.

After the singing, they told her to dance, so she put on 2NE1's I Am The Best, nailing the dance moves on beat, and almost forgetting that this was an audition because she felt like she was in her room again, dancing happily to the song like she always does.

Finally, they take photos of her for headshots and to see how she'll look on camera.

After the photos, the audition was over and she went back to the panel and was told by the men at the table, "We're developing a boy group and were thinking of having one girl in it too. We'll get back to you. That's all for today."

"Thank you so much for taking the time to see me." She bowed again.

----

A week later, Jen was on her laptop with her headphones in, listening to 2NE1's I Am The Best while checking her email. She suddenly sees an email from BigHit a couple of hours ago. Her eyes widen and her stomach drops.

Was this the result of the audition?

She slowly clicks it open and her throat tightens, making hot tears fill up her eyes. She read the email a couple of times to comprehend what was happening. She passed and they wanted her to become a trainee at their company. She wipes the tears of joy from her eyes and screams in her pillow. Afterwards, she tries to collect herself.

"Let's not get too ahead of myself. Let's take it one day at a time, Jennie. Things are going to be just fine. Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening!" She said excitedly and then ran downstairs to tell her parents. "Guys, I got great news!"

------

After telling her agent and her parents about the shocking news, they all made their way to Seoul, South Korea. Jen's nerves got to her as she wished the flight was quicker. She was so excited to be able to get an opportunity to work in the K-Pop industry. She hopes to break down the barriers of being a foreigner and an African American in the K-Pop industry. Although she still was not aware of how different their work ethic is from America, she believed that she would be ready for the challenge.

After the plane lands, safely, the party finds someone that had Jen's name on a sign and they are escorted to Big Hit's building. Jen was in awe, gazing out the window as the car went past various streets in Seoul. She never knew how beautiful the area looked until she saw it up close and personal. She was looking forward to doing everything here. Eating, shopping, school, taking walks around, everything. So many things went through her head that before she knew it, the car stopped and they were in front of Big Hit's building.

Jen's stomach drops at the sight.

She was here.

The agency that wanted to take a chance on her.

The place who thought she had what it takes.

Big Hit Entertainment.

Her mom puts a hand on Jen's thick curly hair. "Sweetie, are you ready?" She smiled.

Jen nods twice and they all get out of the car. As they head inside, they go to the receptionist to let them know about their reason for being there and they make their way to Bang Shi-Hyuk's office with a translator.

"Music and Artist for Healing, huh?" Jen's dad read the slogan and nodded in approval. "I like it."

"Sweetie, you haven't said a word. Are you okay?" Jen's mom looked concerned at her daughter's silence.

Jen looked up and smiled nervously. "I'm excited just nervous."

"Everything is going to be fine. Don't worry, honey."

"You can come in." A staff member said in English as he opened the door for them.

As soon as they all walk in, they see the man himself, Bang Shi-Hyuk.

"You must be Jennifer Walker." He speaks in Korean.

The sound of his voice made her timid as she bowed politely. She'll have to get in a habit of bowing in South Korea. As she looks at him, she starts to remember his face. He was the one sitting in the middle during her audition.

"Yes, I am." Her voice affirmed in a shaky tone in Korean.

He let out a chuckle. "I'm not that scary, am I?"

"No, sorry, just nervous."

He nodded and smiled. "Don't be. I want this to be a happy environment."

"Thank you. These are my parents." She introduced herself as her parents continued to look at her in surprise at how well her Korean was. "And my agent." She pointed to Diana

"What is he saying? And what did you say?" Jen's mom eagerly asks.

"I just introduced you guys," Jen responded in English and the translator took over to help Diana and her parents understand.

"Your daughter did very well during the audition. I believe she'll do great things for my company. She's in good hands here." Bang PD noted

"Thank you for allowing our daughter to chase her dreams here." Her father spoke.

"Sit down, please. I want to discuss the contract." Bang PD motioned them to sit and they complied.

As he started going over the contract, Jen's butterflies came back in her stomach. Would her family let her be out of the country for so many years to become a K-Pop star? She'll miss birthdays, weddings, graduations, births, even funerals.

"What is he saying?" Diana asked as the translator explained that they need Jen and her parents to sign and it's for a lot of years.

"A-a lot of years?" Her mom asked as she bit her lip. "We're not going to see you that often, are we?"

"If I am in a group and our schedules are fully packed, most likely not, Mom." The teen could see the tears developing in her mother's eyes.

Her mom grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "My little girl...in South Korea...chasing her dream to perform."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Her father asked in a serious tone, keeping his emotions together. "Is this truly what you want, Jennifer?"

"I really want to do this. I'll call, I'll text, I'll Skype you, anything, I will keep in touch. If I can visit I will, I promise. I want this. I love K-Pop, and I truly believe this company is the best for me. I'm going to train hard to achieve my dream. Please. Let me do this."

"We're not going to be able to see you that often. We're not going to watch you grow up into a beautiful young lady." Her mom smiled sadly.

"If any boys give you trouble...I'm a phone call away, sweetheart," Her father placed a hand on her shoulder as he tried to hold back the tears. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you. I love you guys." Tears raced down Jen's cheeks as she tried to wipe them away.

Her father turned to Bang PD and nodded. "We'll sign it."

Bang PD nodded and handed them the contract. After they read over everything with Diana, Jen's father signs it first, and shortly afterward, her mom does the same and hands the pen to Jen. She lets out a breath and signs her name before handing it to Bang PD with two hands.

"Thank you. I will work hard." Jen bowed with a bright smile.

"As of today, you'll be a trainee. I'll be watching you, kid." Bang PD smiled.

After receiving a new iPhone and keys to the dorm to stay with the other chosen female trainees, Jen spends a few more hours with her family before a heartfelt goodbye as they go back to America. Her agent, Diana, stays with her in Seoul as she works with Big Hit as well. Once she heads to the dorm, she is greeted by the rest of the female trainees and quickly opens up to all of them. They welcomed her with open arms and she was grateful that she could communicate with them, with the Korean that she knew without any language barriers.

One thing she did wish she learned before she got to Seoul was how to eat with chopsticks. It took her forever to learn how to use chopsticks when eating and how different Korean eating habits were from America's. She had a lot to learn about South Korea's culture and was looking forward to it.

The next day was Jen's first day of training. Learning various dances and getting singing lessons. She also met other dancers and trainees. The training was so much different than in America, it was insane. She admired how passionate and hard the dances were.

A few weeks went by and on a certain Thursday night, after dancing was over, she decided to stay a little longer to clean up the choreography that she learned for hours.

With her curly hair in a puffball after all the perspiration, she groans at how she is going to be doing her hair while in South Korea. Maybe she should get a weave. But she'll probably have to order weaves to have it shipped to her. And order American products for her. She should've thought things through.

As she packed up after spending another hour practicing, she heard a happy English voice behind her.

"Hello~" The cheerful voice filled her ears.

She stands up and turns around to see a guy with curly blond hair and a boxy grin on his face.

"H-hi! Are you talking to me?" She responded in English with a smile.

"Y-yes. You...Am-erica? America?" He questioned in broken English.

She chuckled and nods. He sounded really cute while trying to speak English. It sounded like he was asking her if she was American.

"Yes, I am. And I speak Korean. I'm still learning but I should be fluent soon." She answered in Korean as his eyes widened.

His happy vibes were getting to her because she couldn't stop smiling at him. His positivity was off the charts. She needed that.

"Really? That's great!" He goes back to his native tongue. "My name is Taehyung."

"Nice to meet you! I'm Jennifer. You can call me Jennie, Jen, any nickname you can think of. How long have you been training?"

"I've been training a while, I'm working with BTS, right now. My stage name is V. But don't tell anyone, I'm a secret member for now. I haven't been revealed yet." He playfully grinned.

Jen couldn't help but drop her jaw. "You're a part of the upcoming new group? Gosh, I want to try to get that spot as the Bangtan Girl. I've been hearing everyone talking about how they want a girl in the group."

"Ah, the girls are training quite hard for that spot. I wish you luck! How do you like it here so far?"

"I love it here. Everyone is so welcoming. I still need to learn how to eat properly with chopsticks. I was a bit too excited to come here." She sheepishly grinned and rubbed the back of her neck.

"I don't mind teaching you!" He eagerly offered.

"Sounds like fun! You're really nice. Can I call you Tae?"

"Anything you like! Can I call you Ennie?"

"Haha, sure."

"I gotta go. I wanted to stop by and say hi. I hope to see you, again! Let's exchange numbers! Have you tried Korean beef yet?"

"No, I haven't. Is it good?"

"You'll love it! Hopefully, when we're both free, I'll take you so you can try some."

"O-okay!" She exchanged numbers with him.

She was still in awe of how friendly he was. She had a strong feeling they were going to be best friends very soon.

...And boy was she ever correct.

Whenever they were free, he would hang out with her and show her different sights in Seoul. She even fell in love with Korean beef. Taehyung was right when he said that she would love it. As the weeks went by, Jen continued to train while remaining best friends with Taehyung. She had gotten used to his goofiness and he made her less homesick whenever she thought about America.

It was March 1st. Jen just got off the phone with her parents and her two older sisters who were 18 and seniors in high school. Her sisters, Alani and Vienna were preparing to apply to colleges and improving their SAT and ACT scores.

Alani wanted to major in Journalism, to get into interviewing. Jen could see her being an anchor, interviewing celebs and hosting shows. While Vienna wants to major in Theater, getting into plays and other acting gigs. She was proud of them, and they were proud of her too. They told her how much they missed messing with her and it feels weird without her home. One thing that got to her was the fact that she would be missing their graduation. She informed her family about the upcoming practice for the Bangtan Girl audition. It was tomorrow.

The next day, Jennie made sure to get to the practice room early, wearing grey sweatpants, and a black tank top with a black sports bra. She made sure to put her curly thick hair in a messy bun and began to stretch. She saw there were 8 other girls in the room, that also wanted a spot to be the Bangtan Girl. She lets out a breath. This was going to be a tough competition. She prayed that things would go smoothly and that everyone would do well.

After everyone stretches, Son Seongdeuk, the choreographer for BTS arrives. He looks at every girl in the room as he stands before them. "All right, so the group I'm looking at now, is the group that wants to be that special young lady to be the Bangtan Girl of BTS."

"Currently BTS is working on two songs and we have the instrumental for them. I'm going to teach you the dances for both songs. No More Dream, and Bulletproof. I want to see how your flow is and your unique style of dance. After a few weeks, we'll have the audition." Mr. Son continued as he walked around.

"Now let me inform you of what we are looking for. The Bangtan Girl is fierce, tough, has attitude, beauty, and as the song says, bulletproof. What we are looking for is someone who can fit that persona." he informed. "And you nine ladies believe you have what it takes. And I want you to show me. I'm going to show you the dance for Bulletproof. Have a seat and watch."

The girls comply and sit down while he puts on 'We Are Bulletproof Pt 2. The first few beats made Jennie nod her head to the song. The beat was sick...but as soon as he started dancing, her eyes were about to pop out at the fierce dancing the choreographer was showing. Her jaw couldn't be shut as she watched how quick and strong the dance moves were.

'I...I have to LEARN THAT!? I can't do that! Is it too late to back out?! Wait no. No backing out. You gotta show them how much you want this. Things are going to be OK.'

'Yooooo. How am I supposed to whip my head back and forth that quick?'

'How can I move my chest like that?'

'BRUH...Those fluid movements and smooth footwork! I never did that!'

'I'm screwed.'

'H-how do you do that!?'

'Is that even HUMAN!?'

'The human body can do that?!'

There were all the thoughts in her head as she continued to watch his dancing. After he was done, the girls applauded and he told them to stand up so they could begin learning the choreography. The dance was hard and intense. Extremely intense. Nothing that she had ever danced before. It was more fluent and harder than any dance she danced in America but she was determined.

After practice, she was exhausted and stayed one more hour to try to work on the dance before her body just couldn't take any more for the day.

A week went by after learning the Bulletproof dance and they went to the No More Dream dance. Jennie still was mind-boggled at how she managed to do a hip thrust after some difficulty. Guys make it look so easy. She wasn't used to moving that part of her body yet. It must've been a hilarious sight to see her practicing hip thrusting back at the dorm while the other trainees were there. A week went by after that and it was now Friday. Mr. Son just finished the final practice day for the No More Dream dance with Bang PD watching the progress closely.

Jen lays her back on the floor, panting heavily. "So. Much. Dancing. I need a hot bath." She murmured in English before forcing herself to sit up. She looked around at the other girls who were just as exhausted if not even more than her.

Bang PD stands up from his seat after watching the whole dance practice. "You ladies have homework. The audition for the Bangtan Girl is on Monday. You have the weekend to practice. The homework is to create a verse for Bulletproof. Mr. Son gave you the instrumental when you first started learning the dance, so you can practice during your free time. The Bangtan Girl always sings with the Bangtan Boys. I want to see what you can come up with for the song and bring in your attitude and style to it."

"Just one verse?" Jen asked earning a nod from him as they got dismissed.

How was she going to create a verse? It's been a while since she wrote a song. The last song was during her Singing Exhibit for her birthday last year.

During the weekend, Jennie could not think of anything. When she tried to, it went well but she ended up scrapping it and throwing it in the recycle bin because it wasn't what she thought it would be. It was tough to admit that she started to get a writer's block. Saturday night she tried again, listening to the instrumental a couple of times.

"I have no fear so don't try to stop me..." she wrote and looked at it. "Eh...something needs to go in the middle of that..."

'Tellin' me your doubts won't change my mind'

'Staying up all night dancing'

"Ugh, I don't like it." She threw it away and sighed, running her hands through her messy curls. "I hope to learn more about lyric writing while I'm in this company. Right now this is terrible."

She groaned and tried again.

'Unlike you partying all night while I focused on my dreams'

'Everywhere I go, everything I do, I will show you and all the people who looked down on me'

'I'm in my own lane'

"Ah...this is so corny!" She exclaimed and frowned. "They're not gonna accept this. I'll just put down what I can. I can't stress over it."

----

Monday came by quickly as the girls, Bang PD, Namjoon, Mr. Son, and Taehyung were in the practice room. Jennie wore white sweatpants, a white jacket, white Nikes, and a white tank top for the occasion. She even put a black bandana as a crown over her curly hair that was put down.

First, all the girls were to perform the Bulletproof dance. Jen's efforts were successful, thankfully remembering the dance. She tried to put more flavor into it with thuggish facial expressions that didn't seem too forced, and it went well, showing more attitude to fit the instrumental.

After that, one by one the girls presented their custom verses while doing random dance moves to go with the verse and beat of the song. Namjoon had his black shades on and his head down, deep in thought as he listened to each girl's verse. Jen had a hard time trying to figure out what he was thinking when each girl auditioned. Meanwhile, V kept dancing and nodding his head to their verses. Each girl did so well, but she hoped that she could stand out from them.

"Next." Mr. Son turned to Jennie.

She swallows hard as she lets out a shaky breath. Standing up, she received a mic.

'I got this...remember what you practiced, girl. Time to slay them all.' Jen gave herself some last words of encouragement as she stood in the middle of the practice room.

The girls watched behind her while she stood in front of the men watching her. She turns to Mr. Son and nods as he puts on the instrumental of Bulletproof. The instrumental comes on for the second verse of the song as she begins.

Badda bing badda boom

Jennie's here

I have no fear...so don't try to stop me

Hah!

Tellin' me your doubts...won't change my mind

With his ears perking up, Namjoon slowly looked up to watch her perform, fully engaged in how she sounded.

You want me to party? I don't have time

I've been busy workin' (she slowly shimmies to the right with the beat)

I've been busy dancin' (she slowly shimmies to the left with the beat)

I'm never prancin'

Just enhancin' (She flips her hair)

I will persevere and you can't stop my flow (She stands tall, looking strong)

I'm in my own lane

I'm here to attain (She makes a fist up in the air)

I got people asking, Who's the girl?' (She looks both ways)

The one with the curls, representing the girls (She ruffles her curly hair while strutting forward)

"I'm the one with the swag and I don't mean to brag but I broke oppositions to get where I am at today!" she ended her verse just before the chorus came with a fierce expression on her face.

The song stops and she lets out a breath as everyone applauds for her. A proud smile came across her features as she bowed to everyone, thanking them. The butterflies were no longer in her stomach and she was glad to get it over with. She hoped it was enough to please them to earn that spot.

The next day was the most nerve-racking because Jennie was called to Bang PD's office. She didn't know if she had done something wrong or if it was good news. She knocked on his door and he told her to come in. She walks him to see him turn around in his chair looking at her sternly.

"Y-you wanted to see me?" She asked softly, trying to ignore his stern look.

Was he mad at her? If so what the heck did she do? She didn't do anything out of the ordinary.

"Do you know why you're here?" He questioned in a sharp tone as he crossed his arms.

"I-is it because of my audition?" She looked uncertain.

"How do you think you did? Do you think what you've done was what we were looking for?" His voice was serious as he narrowed his eyes.

'I'm about to get dropped aren't I?' She thought nervously.

"Y-yes I do." She quickly let out. "I think I've done well and tried my best."

After a few seconds of silence and staring, he speaks up again. "Well, you thought right, Bangtan Girl." He dropped his mean demeanor and smiled. "Welcome to BTS."

"Wh-what?" Her ears perked up as she widened her eyes. "What did you just say?"

"I had to keep myself from laughing." He chuckled. "I was trying to act as serious as possible. I hope I didn't scare you, too much. Congratulations, you are the Bangtan Girl. Your audition was great. You've done well."

"No way. No friggin way, are you serious right now!?" She started to form hot tears in her eyes as she started to get emotional.

"Your stage name is Jennie just like in your verse. I'm looking forward to watching you grow here. I'll be watching you closely. I have faith in you, kid." He said as she bowed

"Thank you so much." She wiped her tears. She had to urge to hug him but she wanted to try to stay professional.

"Your stuff is being moved to BTS' dorm. You'll be staying there from now on," He dismissed her.

She leaves the office and jumps up and down, running down the hallway with excitement. She quickly calls her parents. "Mom!"

"What?! What happened!? Is everything okay!?" She exclaimed in panic at Jen's sudden yelling.

"I'm the Bangtan Girl! I passed the audition! They picked me!" She yelled as her mom screamed and yelled to her husband to tell him the good news.

"I knew you could do it kiddo!" Jennie hears her father's voice.

After she finishes her conversation with her parents, she calls V and meets him in front of the Big Hit building. V runs and wraps his arms around her in a giant bear hug, spinning her around.

"I knew you could do it Ennie!" He laughed.

"This is so surreal, Tae. I'm in BTS!" She shakes him as he continues to laugh at her excitement.

"Come on, let's head to the dorm."

"R-right now?"

"Yeah!" He grabbed her hand to walk with her. "Don't be nervous! They're all very eager to meet you!"

"Seriously?"

"We found out right after the audition and when you girls left."

"I still can't believe this is happening."

"Believe it Ennie!"

As they make their way to the dorm, Tae opens the door. "MEET THE NEWEST MEMBER OF BTS! THE BANGTAN GIRL! JENNIE IS HERE!" He happily yelled in the dorm.

Almost instantly she hears yells and happy screams of excitement as the guys rush up to her while V gently pushes her inside and shuts the door. She almost laughed at how eager everyone was to meet her. They were bursting with energy. She could get used to this warm welcome.

"There she is!" Hobi screeched out of excitement

"We've been waiting for you!" Jin grinned

"She's pretty!" Jimin yelled

"H-hi!" She nervously greeted them as they all started talking at once.

"Yah! Guys, don't smother her! Let her breathe! One at a time! One-at-a-time!" Tae protectively grabbed her hand and took her further into the dorm as the rest of the boys followed them, continuing to ask questions.

"You two are just in time for dinner! Let's eat!" Jin announced.

"Aren't you gonna introduce us to her, Tae?" Jimin pointed out as they got settled to eat

"Ladies first." Namjoon gestured as Jen smiled nervously.

"My name is Jennifer, you can call me Jennie, Jen, or whatever nickname you come up with for me. I'm from America. I'm 15. Bang PD told me my stage name in BTS will be Jennie. I have two sisters who are 18, and I'm looking forward to working with you guys."

"You have a pretty smile!" Hobi pointed out. "So adorable!"

Jennie starts to feel her face heat up at the constant compliments. She wasn't used to this at all. She buries her face in her hands.

"Ahhh she's shy!" Hobi yelled as the guys started getting wild but Namjoon.

"Yah! Pipe down!" Namjoon calmed them down and turned to her. "Hello, I'm Namjoon. Better known as Rap Monster. I'm the leader of the group. Looking forward to working with you. I was impressed by your performance."

"Nice to meet you. I noticed you watching me closely. I was a bit intimidated." She admitted.

"Haha, really?" He raised a brow.

"Yeah like you and the glasses and everything. You scared me a bit." She chuckled.

"Sorry if I scared you. I was so focused on your performance. You just caught my attention." he smiled, revealing his dimples. "They made a good choice. Looking forward to seeing what else you can do."

"He's not scary at all, trust me," Hobi reassured. "Hello~ I'm Hoseok. You can call me by my stage name is J-Hope or Hobi."

"I'm the oldest, Jin. Anything you need, just let me know." Jin smiled politely.

"I'm Jimin. The coolest member of the group." He boasted as the guys disagreed and started hitting him with pillows, making Jennie laugh out loud. She could get used to their shenanigans.

Jungkook was usually shy around girls but Jen's demeanor made him relax and less nervous. He smiled awkwardly and looked away, avoiding eye contact until he heard her warm voice which made him look into her eyes.

"Hi, I'm Jennie. Nice to meet you. Your name?" She greeted.

"I'm Jungkook."

"I'm Min Yoongi. You can call me Suga." He greeted her as she nodded and smiled

"Eat up!" Jin gestured as they all began to eat.

Jennie finally managed to use chopsticks the proper way and chowed away.

"Guess you'll be a part of the Maknae line," Namjoon confirmed, remembering she said she was 15. "Your birthday?"

"November 10th."

"Ahh she's younger than Jungkook! She'll be our baby girl!" Jimin announced. "So what is America like?"

"It's what you make of it. I hope one day we'll all be able to go together and you can experience it yourselves." She smiled. "I still need to get used to eating properly and bowing here. I'm still not adjusted to your culture yet but I will soon. Please be patient with me guys."

"You're fine, don't worry about it." Yoongi waved her doubts away.

"What are your passions," Hobi asked

"I really love performing and meeting fans. I just love to sing and dance for fun. Music is my life." She happily revealed.

"What do you like to eat? I can put it in future references." Jin chimed in.

"Some foods I like are pizza, white chocolate, fish and chicken."

"Once we get some Korean food in you, I'm sure that'll also be your favorite food, too."

"I bet they will."

"Hey, what's your favorite color?" Jungkook eagerly asked.

"I like purple." She responded

"Any hobbies?" Namjoon questioned

"I like to play the guitar. Play occasional video games and golf." Jen addressed.

"Golf?" Jin asked in amazement.

"I'm not that good but I like the sport. It's fascinating to check out." She pointed out.

The rest of the dinner went great as she started to feel less nervous and excited to be working with BTS. The boys were so nice and welcoming towards her.

"Oh yeah, let's show Jen her room!" Yoongi announced as he stood up. The boys escorted her to a small room in the dorm. "Since you're a girl, we're sure you wanted your privacy. It's smaller than the rest of ours. I hope it's all right."

"No, it's perfect." She turned to them, looking appreciative. "Thanks, guys."

Later that night, everyone got ready for bed. Jennie said goodnight to everyone and laid under the covers in her new home. On her back, she looked up at the ceiling with a huge smile on her face.

"I'm going to like it here...I'm so happy. Thank you, Lord, for this opportunity." She sighed in contentment and fell asleep.

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