#it’s not June for another half hour but we posting this now anyway.

[badassxbirdy]

June Activity Update (Pinned Post)

Happy Pride Month to all fellow members of the alphabet mafia! 🥳 🏳️‍🌈

Before we get into it: there was apparently a following glitch recently. If I unfollowed, refollowed, or you softblocked, my apologies and please see this post.

With that out of the way, it’s time once again for an activity update! If you’re new here: these monthly posts help me to keep track of what the frick I’ve been doing, particularly when tumblr breaks or the brainfog strikes. This update includes things posted or in drafts for the month of May. Everything else can be found in previous monthly updates under this tag. There’s also the thread tracker here.

The full activity update (along with OOC house keeping) is below the cut. Bold text = links.

If you want to see all IC interactions without the other stuff, click here. If you’d like to start something new, there are opens, memes, and the wishlist, or you can just hit up the DM’s. You can also add Ty on Wire for IC texting.

Now onto the update!

OOC Housekeeping:

For folks waiting on AU replies: please see the note beside your tag! ❤️

I’ll be at my parents house for another month, but have the Firefox workaround for trimming threads on mobile. The extensions sometimes play up a bit when using that, so please let me know if there are any issues with my replies, and I shall sort it out.

I want to start doing more story arc development on Ty’s blog again, so expect a few posts about that to come soon.

Threads, replies, memes, and other IC interactions:

(In alphabetical order by username. Not including memes still in the inbox!)

At the motel (link) - @demcnsinmymind

Ty is both offended and a scared by Azzy. (drafted) - @demcnsinmymind

Random encounters meme: drunk Ty! (link) - @demcnsinmymind

Taking Lance on a hunt! (drafted) - @demcnsinmymind

Car trouble (drafted! So sorry for the wait, Ty is refusing to cooperate with her other verses rn.) - @demcnsinmymind

GDI Kage. 😂 (link) - @demonstigma

Birthday mischief: crossbow excitement! (link) - @derschwarzeengel

Damon meets dark!Ty (drafted) - @derschwarzeengel

Finding Vampire!Damon (link) - @derschwarzeengel

Traumatised for life. 😂 (link) - @derschwarzeengel

Making their getaway. (link) - @derschwarzeengel

Damon shields Ty, Ty is ANGY. (link) - @derschwarzeengel

Werewolf problems. (drafted) - @derschwarzeengel

Roasting 50 shades (drafted) - @derschwarzeengel

Universe differences (drafted) - @derschwarzeengel

Tyler learns about Darklighters and it all gets very sad. (end of thread) - @derschwarzeengel

Starter from @first-born-to-his-name! Thank you, I’ve got it in my drafts. ❤️

Birthday cuteness! (drafted) - @heavenguided

Meeting Hook (link) - @hvbris

Tyler being massively confused by Wednesday (drafted! Sorry for the wait!) - @hvbris

Birthday mischief: extremely normal headwear. (link) - @imprvdente

Human!Ty and FBI!Fish (drafted! So sorry for the wait, Ty is refusing to cooperate with her other verses rn.) - @imprvdente

At the fair (drafted) - @indyflanery

Attempting to babysit the doctor. (link) - @innerwar

Bad jokes with Charm. (drafted) - @innerwar

Demon problems (link) - @magaprima

Leaving the compound (drafted! So sorry for the wait, Ty is refusing to cooperate with her other verses rn.) - @razorfst

“Are you sayin’ I look like a blogger?” (link) - @tobeblamed

No 👏 dead 👏 Sarah’s 👏 allowed!👏 (link) - @unbearablyindifferent

Drafts: 14

Memes/Asks: 9

Headcanon, dash games, and assorted silliness:

No new headcanons or dash games this month! However I am boosting this post from my dear Rookito, so please take a look.

I think that’s everything! As always: please let me know if I’ve missed something. I never intentionally drop threads without notifying, rest assured that if it’s not here I simply have not seen it. Remember to be kind to yourselves, stay safe, and happy pride! ❤️ — Em

[latibvles]

something to write about.

we are back with another one of these!! yay!! this week's prompt is recuperation — and so we're tackling willie and some post-bremen dilemmas, featuring John Brady no this isn't just an excuse for me to write them who said that? anyways im fond of them and this and I hope you are too :) me? posting at a reasonable time? unheard of.

It was almost offputting, how a phrase could change meaning in a little over 72 hours. Nothing to write home about becomes nothing you can write home about. Willie always struggled with writing letters, and Viv often teased her about how she’s the only person in the Hundredth who could struggle with making piloting sound exciting. Of course, Willie didn’t want it to sound exciting, even if she could manage that. She didn’t need Otto getting any wise ideas to end up on the fast track for enlistment. But now, there was nothing she could write home about.

Thirty people, gone, just like that. It was hard to be optimistic when there were no chutes to give some scrap of hope — and Willie hated watching June wipe Carrie’s blood from her hands almost as much as she hated watching Carrie get carried away on a stretcher, her collarbone a bloody mess haphazardly subdued with the sulfa powder and rag June held to it until she had to drop their bombs in the channel. They only knew how upset she was about the whole thing after she kicked her footlocker like it’d personally wronged her after interrogation.

If this is what it feels like being the last man standing, Willie hates it most of all.

That was three days ago, and now most of Mouse Hole’s flak holes were all patched up, and Willie’s certain that if she hopped into it right now, there would be no blood on that bombsight, no remnant of the fact that Bremen, in plain terms, had been a failure.

But that was nothing she could write home about, now was it?

She couldn’t tell home about the dead or about the hole torn through a nineteen-year-old girl. She couldn’t tell them about the flak or watching three planes go down or the engine fire. She couldn’t tell them that ten women she’d considered friends were gone, just like that — no funeral, no fanfare. She just had to live with it, like they all did, even if she still couldn’t make sense of what she’d seen and much less make sense of the fact that she’d have to witness it again.

“Willie?”

The sound of her own name catches her offguard — she wants to kick herself for the reflexive jolt her body makes at being caught offguard. But she turns her head and there’s John Brady, looking apologetic for startling her.

And that fact really makes her want to kick herself.

“Hey,” she breathes out, then inwardly cringes at her own lackluster response. Real smooth, Willie.

“Hi,” That makes it better. He walks closer still, nods, and Willie looks over the details of his face quickly. Furrowed brows and a bit of a tight lip — he’d given them that same look when they came out of interrogation. 418th. The first group grounded, huh. “What’re you doing out here?”

“Could ask you the same thing.” She counters, brows raising. This, however, makes him nod, the frown cracking a little bit. Good enough.

“I asked you first.” Willie clicks her tongue in mock surrender, then gestures to Mouse Hole — the Mickey Mouse decal grinning down at the two of them like a flak-happy lunatic — then gives him a half-shrug.

“Came to check on my house,” she explains, a statement that chips away at the rest of that tight-lipped frown and makes him smile a little bit. Much better. “Thought I’d catch Swanson out here or something. Wanted to ask a couple questions but now I guess I’m just having a staring contest with Mickey Mouse.” His brows shoot up towards his hairline and he chuckles.

“Oh yeah? Who’s winning?”

“Me, obviously. I don’t lose,” He makes a noise that she’s pretty sure, or rather, hopes, is a laugh — based on how the corners of his eyes crinkle a little, how he ducks his head down for a moment to rub the nape of his neck with a quiet muttering of ‘of course.’ Then he shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket, tilts his head up to also, presumably, try his luck against the flak-happy mouse. He’s pretty bad at it though, because he glances at her again out of the corner of his eye.

“Where’s Viv?” Viv and Willie. Willie and Viv. Wherever one goes the other trails. Willie reaches up to rub at her earlobe a bit.

“Fifteen minutes behind me, probably. Or keeping the rest of them out of trouble,” Because that’s how it’s probably gonna be — she’s gonna make sure no girl walks home alone in the dark and I’m gonna sit and grumble until we make piss-poor jokes about it, just like we did over smaller things in Utah, Iowa, and Nebraska, too. “She’ll end up at the club one way or another.”

Brady nods, giving little more than an understanding ‘Ah’ and there’s a moment there where they lapse into something of a familiar quiet.

This, funnily enough, is the most normal she’s felt in days. She couldn’t really shake that restlessness that settled in after interrogation — a loud, harping feeling that she should be doing something. Which is at least half the reason that she came out here to begin with — to do something, maybe find something worth writing about on the hard-stands. I could tell them about Sandy Swanson and her crew of mechanics, or…

She looks Brady up and down for a moment. There was something assuring in knowing he didn’t seem off-put by her silence, that he was fine with sitting in it instead of prying words out of her that she couldn’t give. But words always came easier to her when she was comfortable anyway. And when it came to comfortable…

“You played well, last night,” Willie shoves her hands into her pockets. You always do. He raises a brow, his smile turning lopsided and boyish in a way Willie thinks she likes more than she reasonably so.

“You think so?”

“Well I’m no expert on the subject, but yeah,” Willie nods, affirming her own statement. “I do.”

There’s a look shared between them, and Willie feels that shyness starts to overtake her as it so often does when it comes to him. There’s the urge there, to say more: to show how much attention she pays to him when he picks up his instrument. There’s also the acute awareness that anything she says she’ll have to live with after saying it, and so she bites the inside of her cheek to keep from saying something too bold.

It doesn’t change the fact that he’d quickly earned a soft spot with her, whether he meant to or not. Maybe that was something she could write about.

…Not the soft spot— the band. The music. She hadn’t really talked about that part much, beyond that there is a band, and there is music; jazz most nights, meant to provide them with some means of relaxation day in and out. There are words the more she thinks on it, waiting to be phrased in the right way to statiate the needs of both her worrying mother and her too-curious little brother. If there’s a few sentences in there about an unnamed saxophonist being, in her eyes, maybe a little bit better than the rest — then it’s a good thing she censors her own mail.

She reaches up to pat the body of her fort twice, takes a couple steps back and gives him a once over.

“I’m gonna head over now, I think. So I don’t make the missus wait on me,” there’s a snort there that’s so uncharacteristically Brady, and yet somehow he makes it work.

“Right, okay. I’ll walk you.”

“Think I can’t handle myself, Brady?” He clicks his tongue, turning as she walks past to keep step with her. He mutters something under his breath that she doesn’t quite catch, then continues to look at her as they walk.

“You caught me. I’m trying to keep you from dancing on tables.”

“Damn, there goes my weekend plans.”

Laughing is a shared sound, his deep chuckle overlapping with her breathy one, and she likes the combination. They lapse into that quiet again, the comfortable kind that feels normal when everything else doesn’t. Willie says nothing of the fact that their shoulders bump every now and again — if this is as much of a reprieve as she’s getting, then she’s more than happy. She’s never been a greedy type, but she could start to be if it meant there would be more of this. She steals a momentary glance at him, before committing wholly to it with a clearing of her throat as they get closer to the long rows of huts that line the path to the Officer’s Club.

“You never answered my question,” Willie points out, and Brady responds with little more than another ‘hm?’ “I asked what you were doing out there, you never answered.”

Brady’s brows raise to his hairline and he nods slowly before looking away from her, tongue poking out to run over his lips for what feels like a full minute before he looks back at her with that boyish smile of his again. There’s that brief, fleeting thought that recuperation looks less like the shine of brassy instruments and more like the warm, welcoming glint in those gray-blue eyes of his. If nothing else, he’s serving as a pretty great reminder that she is not, in fact, the last man standing.

“Heard there was a mouse running around by the hard stands, wanted to make sure she wasn’t scurrying into any of the forts and trying to take off,” The smile on his face gets a little wider with every word. Willie can’t help it — she laughs a little louder than before, shaking her head, half-disbelieving and yet surprised all the same that she couldn’t come to that conclusion on her own.

“Seriously? Did Viv put you up to that?” She asks, not upset at all, but Viv had a tendency to worry so Willie wouldn’t be especially surprised if she had.

It’s the barely there shake of his head, ‘no’ that almost knocks the wind from her lungs, and even if she doesn’t write this part down: Willie knows her mind will return to this fact often. And she won’t be able to hide her smile when it does.

[halfbakedspuds]

Thanks to @orion-lacroix for the tag! I was gonna get to it earlier but... life happened and I forgor.

Eto bleh. Anyways.

(Also I'm writing this while incredibly tired, so I'm sorry if my English isn't up to scratch)

Writeblr Questionaire

How long have you had your Writeblr/writing Tumblr?

I've had this Tumblr account since the beginning of lockdown (March/April 2020 by us) and I created it because of a PM Seymour video. I made like one post that has now been banished to the void, then forgot I even had a Tumblr account until about ¿June/July? last year when a friend of mine brought up the idea of using Tumblr to share her writing, and I decided to do the same.

What's one thing you'd like your mutuals to know about you?

Due to reasons that include but are not limited to me barely having time anymore, I have a tendency to sometimes take a while to reply to people on here.

Don't worry if it takes like a week for me to respond, I'm just like that sometimes.

What's your favourite thing about the Writeblr community?

The amount of people who are infinitely more skilled than me that I can learn and take inspiration from.

Which WIPs or Writing Projects have you been Noodling about recently?

I've had a few emotional scenes for the Tempest Prince brewing in my head (plus I have like an hour with nothing to do after every exam I write, so daydreaming it is)

I'm also somewhat noodling for a small game I'm working on as a side project, but that's less story-related and more technical shenanigans at this point.

Do you remember what inspired them/got you started?

Children of the Stars I don't remember exactly what inspired the story aspect, but I know what the setting evolved from. Basically, I was a huge Mass Effect fan in primary school. Actually, I was a fan of Scifi overall but Mass Effect was peak gaming for me back then. Then somewhere along the line I played Bulletstorm and Warhammer 40k: Space Marine, and this half daydream of an Alien Empire locked in an eternal war for survival began to evolve in the back of my head before turning into the first recognisable precursor to Children of the Stars somewhere in late 2021.

Echoes of Shadows was inspired by the game Tails Noir, Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, and a Call of Cthulhu campaign run by a friend of mine way back when.

The Tempest Prince was originally conceived of because my first playthrough of Bloodborne coincided with my first reading of the Percy Jackson books.

Is there anything you'd like to see more of on your dash?

Comics and short stories. Look, I don't have time to read a full length book until, like, November again, so a little episodic escape is a nice way to detox from the crap we need to deal with for these exams.

Name any characters you've created: side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who've never been written, the first original abomination you pulled from your rear... whatever you like!

Artemis is a Siberian ARX-11 mechanized shock-drop trooper who was deployed in a conflict so violent that future historians in-universe consider it less of a war than a outright cataclysm.

Quite literally, like the humble sea-turtle: she was born feet first into a hell she never asked for.

She's also one of the incredibly few Androids who not only survived the Fall of Earth, but after her inevitable 'death' by running out of fuel sources, she managed to remain intact for another six hundred years before a Union archaeology team found her and her enclave and managed to restore some of them to working order.

How much time- in your best estimation- do you spend thinking about them?

Outside the story of Children of Strife, this also makes her one of the oldest sentient beings in the known universe and technically the great great grandmother of almost all modern Androids and Biosynths.

It's also rumoured that she helped to raise a child orphaned during the fall of Earth who would grow up to be the military advisor of the first Empress, which technically makes her an important theological figure in the (now dying) Imperial cult.

Yes

Who's the most unhinged?

See, I'd say Adrian from Children of the Stars because he has a tendency to just do shit that makes you worry about his safety, but the thing with him is that he is fully aware of what he's actually capable of and is very cautious to not overstep those limits.

Lyanni, However...

One of Adrian's many nicknames for her is Miragran, which is Callistoan for "Big miracle", because that's what it must've taken for her to have not gotten herself killed yet.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

The fact that the answer is Adrian Castellan does not speak kindly about my mental health, does it...

Do you ever cringe at them?

How much control do you have over your characters? Do they ever write themselves, refuse to co-operate or do things you didn't expect? To what extent?

Not really.

Well, except for Adrian being a typical 27th century child who has no conception of sexism/racism/homophobia etc. beyond it being a footnote in a half-forgotten history textbook, which puts him in situations where it takes him a minute or two to realise that someone's being a prick to Lyanni.

I'd say I have relatively decent control over them. With the exception of the Haliday brothers in the Tempest Prince, 'cause they speak the same dialect of English as I do but I need to dial it back a bit because what's understandable for us has moments where it barely looks like English to foreigners.

And every so often I need to go back and un-Saffa their lines a bit because guess what? My dialect is annoyingly insistent on manifesting itself in these characters.

Are some less co-operative than others?

The old version of Adrian's character was really damn uncooperative. Like, he kept feeling like he was sitting on a story that he couldn't tell, and that was why he kept feeling like he was acting wrong no matter what I wrote him doing.

His current iteration tells that story in a way, and that element of tragedy playing into who he is has made him a lot more co-operative.

When someone asks the dreaded "What do you write about?" question, what do you usually say?

See, most people who know that I write are either close friends who already know what I write, or don't care enough to ask.

My grandmother, however, did ask the one time. That was also the day I realised that I know absolutely no scifi terminology in my home language.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters and do you have a preferred way of receiving said questions?

Listen, if you wrote the question as a note, folded it into a paper airplane and threw it through my window, I'd firstly be very concerned about how in the nine hells you figured out where I live, then I'd be utterly ecstatic for the rest of the day because someone asked me a question.

I keep all my socials separate, though, so if you have any questions then asks, comments, and reblogs on Tumblr are pretty much the only way to go.

What makes you follow another Writeblr account? Do you follow them as you see them? Scope them out first to make sure you align with its content? Or do you follow based on WIPs or vibes?

Imma be honest there are like two people on here whom I followed simply because I know them IRL, and like three total writeblrs whom I followed first.

Everyone else followed me and I said "Ey, sha'p," before following back.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

I try to.

Do your mutuals' OCs occupy a space in your Noodle?

Absolutely!

No pressure tag for @honeybewrites and @thatoneterrariaplayers-vault,

[bluedalahorse]

So I wrote a little something about the RWRB movie, particularly the erasure or diminishing of some other queer characters’ (not Alex or Henry’s) identities. I’m cutting it so you don’t have to read it, but of course you can if you would like to. Not going to tag it for now, just for peace of mind.

So overall, there were parts of the movie I found charming and enjoyable, and I think things really picked up in the second half. I did find the whole thing kind of uneven on a writing level. I know changes have to be made and things have to be cut when you go from a novel to a two-hour movie, and I sort of like looking at how the adaptation process works. After a second watch I can probably pin down some of the writing issues and appreciate what did work. I don’t know if I will or won’t post about it.

Really, right now, the thing on my heart that I want to discuss, is the representation issue.

I actually think they did a good job representing Alex and Henry’s relationship mlm onscreen, once it got going. The tender moments were tender, the spicy moments were spicy. You didn’t get actors looking at one another like “oh god I have to be in love with a man now” and we didn’t cut away from the intimacy scenes like we were ashamed of them.

But—sigh. The way they cut or diminished every other queer character in the story. Obviously I knew Luna and Liam had been cut out, so I was ready to adjust my expectations there. I’m glad Amy was played by a trans actress, although I also wish we like… knew Amy was trans and sapphic? Maybe there was a line about Amy’s wife that I missed, but I don’t remember one. 

My biggest feelings of frustration, though, is how they handled Nora, who is very much bisexual and Jewish and a statistical analysis nerd. I get combining Nora and June to streamline things for the movie, but I do not understand why you wouldn’t make Nora bi? You can keep roughly the same number of scenes with her and Alex, and just rewrite their interactions to sound like two queer friends talking instead of a protagonist and his Black Best Friend archetype the protagonist says things to because he needs to say his internal monologue externally. Rachel Hilson did bring great energy to the role, so I liked seeing her onscreen. I just wish the script gave her more to work with and didn’t erase her bisexuality. Like there’s a certain audacity to the script saying that the B in LGBTQ isn’t silent (an important line to have!) when the film is either very much silent about a key character’s bisexuality or has written it out completely.

(Although, the part where Nora was obviously playing a drinking game over political debates? Loved that, excellent example of DC behavior right there, I did cheer at that scene. I am 100% serious.)

Also. There’s just… something. About implying that the gay Mexican journalist character was the one who leaked the emails, instead of the Republican Party. There’s something about writing that storyline in an America where gay people, Mexicans, and ~the media~ are regularly demonized. At a time when the actual Republican Party IRL is literally out here trying to do a genocide on trans people, and Florida’s Don’t Say Gay ban is on the books, and everything. I get that Prime was probably trying not to piss off the actual GOP and draw their ire, but like, conservatives are not going to watch this or like this anyway? I get changing the antagonists, maybe, but maybe we need to go in another direction with that. Hm.

One more thought, as far as overall vibe. Washington DC is statistically the city in America with the highest LGBTQIA+ population. Queer rights are visible in our city’s culture—maybe in a nerdier way than some of the more “hip” US cities but it’s still there if you know where to look. The West Wing/federal government are a bit removed from DC’s broader culture, depending on the administration, but Ellen Claremont is a liberal Democrat with a diverse staff, so she’s more likely to have an open relationship to DC’s queer culture than say, a conservative Republican president. So… idk. Let Alex move through scenes that reflect this culture, is what I’m saying.

Tl;dr I think the RWRB movie worked as a gay romcom in the Netflix Christmas movie sense. It reflected an mlm relationship and did it well enough. At the same time, Casey McQuiston writes books about queer community, which has always been one of the reasons I gravitate toward their work and come back to it. I feel like this movie chose queer individualism over queer community, and that makes me sad. It especially makes me sad in a time where we’re getting tons of mlm-themed things released but every other aspect of LGBTQIA+ identity has been ignored or diminished.

For comparison, RWRB is about the length of half a season of Heartstopper, and even half a season of Heartstopper depicts a range of LGBTQIA+ identities and knows how to write queer community, even when centering the story on a main mlm relationship. And yes, Heartstopper is different, different things need to be considered and so on. I do think the People Who Make Heartstopper looked at what the comic said, went “oh, one of the things this comic is about is about is queer community” and created a show that reflected that, even if they couldn’t adapt everything from the comic. I wish the People Who Make RWRB had looked at Casey’s book and done the same.

I hope we can simultaneously hold the competing truths that like, 1. it’s okay if the RWRB movie isn’t groundbreaking art, because some LGBTQIA+ movies are just allowed to be mid romcoms, but also 2. it didn’t do right by the queer community themes in the book, and it erased the queer women especially, and this feels like part of a larger pattern when so many mlm releases are happening all at once.

Anyway I’m done, for now. More thoughts later? I mean who knows.

Who’s looking forward to Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe?

[snaillamp]

Hi!

You said you're bored, so we can ask you anything. So, how are you doing? :D How have you been lately? And what things make you the happiest? (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

(These might be quite random, haha- ;;( ◍^ヮ^) Also, this is my first time using this function and asking something as anon, so I hope I'm doing this right- If I'm not, please let me know :D)

Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day and happy Easter! o⁠(⁠(⁠*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠)⁠o💖💐✨

Happy Easter anon!

You are indeed using it correctly! My posts have been very infrequent recently cause my degree is pretty intense right now. I get to do an oral assessment on Friday which will be fun though. When I finish June, I will be officially halfway to becoming a full paramedic! (Technically over half but we don’t talk about the extra year of university I did and how I nearly became a nurse)

So yeah, I’ve been studying, helping fake pregnant people give birth to very plastic babies, they’re a bit worse for wear and the arms keep popping off and I’m certain there’s going to be a decapitation soon. I’ve also started on more advanced medications and now I get to inject people with fentanyl! (Still on rubber arms atm tho, hopefully I don’t have to inject any actual people)

Oh I also had to do first aid on someone! Like legitimate first aid not paramedic degree related. It was after class and I was walking through a parking lot when this lady started banging on her window. By the time I and another bystander got to her she was barely conscious.

She’d apparently had a medical episode and was trapped inside her hot car on an over 30 degrees C day for over an hour. I believe it was about 34C (93F). She was covered in sweat and barely able to stay conscious, so I kept her cool and conscious whilst we waited for the actual paramedics to arrive. I was shaking for hours after but I felt so proud! I hope she’s ok now.

But that’s what makes me happiest. Knowing I can help people like her for the rest of my career. I also have a very loving partner who supports me and wonderful friends! I’m very happy with what I have, and even if life gets tough, I know I’ve made it through 100% of my bad days so far, what’s one more.

Thanks for the awesome questions anon! I hope your Easter is amazing!

[rothjuje]

I have so many half posts in drafts it is ridiculous. So much life keeps happening I cannot keep up.

Okay. TX neighbor came, it was fun fun fun but I basically collapsed from exhaustion when she left. Alyssa lost her second tooth and has a massive tooth growing in that pushed out both baby teeth, poor girl is going to need braces. At some point I got the worst stomach bug I had had in at least a decade and that knocked me out for a bit. And then I broke a tooth and have oral surgery to deal with it tomorrow am.

And the wood floors. Sigh. The wood was delivered last week and has been taking over our living room. Install was supposed to be yesterday but some planks were cut thinner than other planks, so some had gaps. The manager came out to the house to talk to us about it and recommended we return and get a different brand of wood.

Just. Whyyy.

So now we still have a pallet of wood in our living room, no carpet or tile, staples everywhere. Sigh. We have to pick new wood, pray that it is in stock, get it to the house, have it acclimate for 72 hours, and then pray they can get someone out to install it (original install was booked 2 months out). Sighhh.

I was so hoping for a break after the wood install, and now we’re in living room-less limbo.

Anyway.

What else? Celebrated Rosh Hashanah with some local Jews yesterday. I really like them a lot. I really like a lot of people here a lot, I think I vibe better with people here than I did in CA or TX. Or maybe it’s just easier to make friends here because small town life. I’m not sure.

You definitely can’t hide in a small town. I was having a hot mess day a couple weeks ago and saw 4 of the 5 people I hang out with in town. It was mortifying. I had another hot mess day yesterday, and again ran into 4 of the 5 people I know. I think people have compassion for my hot mess though because most of them have toddlers and get the chaos that is having two toddlers.

Oddly enough, all my close friends in TX were one and done and did not have compassion for the chaos. So maybe I just know more people who get it out here.

I’m going to a special needs’ mom night tonight, mainly to support my friend hosting it. I feel a little socially tapped out. So grateful to have a community out here though, was not expecting it to come so easily after I struggled for so long in both CA and TX to make friends as an adult.

Despite all the unnecessary stressful things that have happened since we left TX in June, I feel like we’re *meant* to be here. It just feels like home.

[murumokirby360]

My PC Cooling Upgrades Review - Part 2 [first half] (w/ my paper dolls) [Recorded on Jun 9th, 2023]

Hello, June! Here's Part 2 (first half) of "My PC Cooling Upgrades" (featuring my paper dolls). 🙂

And for this part, its time to install these three upgrade items into my custom PC, and hope it'll work! I'm starting off with the brand new Jonsbo CR-1400 CPU cooler fan (with RGB lighting), then the 80mm 12V cooling fan, and the 4-pin fan splitter. 😁🔧

BUT BEFORE THAT, I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY: ✋🛑

Now, you may aware about what happened to my PC, right? I haven't share the details, weeks ago. So, here it goes.

• You see after my revealing three aforementioned items, I returned to my daily computer basis after my sideline for my family's business. I played an online game (which I won't mention the game) for less than an hour. At 3:00PM while I was the middle of the game progress, my monitor screen goes red while my PC desktop still running. 🔴🖥️😧 I don't know what's happening, so I immediately press & hold the power button to shut down my computer. [1st & 2nd Images] And so, It's only a matter of time before I equip these three hardware items to good use, the next day.

I have another spare detail that I will talk about it, in the "second half".

Also, if you haven't seen my previous post(s), then I'll provide these links down below. ↓

• Part 1 [First Half] [Recorded on Jun 9th, 2023]

• Part 1 [Second Half] [Recorded on Jun 9th, 2023]

So, without further ado, let's get started:

My Recorded & Edited Video (using Filmora 9): (pls watch) ↑ 🎦✏️🖥️

• As I said in the intro, I'll go with the brand new Jonsbo CR-1400 first before the rest. So, please watch my 8-minute video, while I'm showing up these photos from below. ↓

3rd to 5th Image(s) ↑:

• [As you've seen in the video] With the Intel/AMD brackets installed the total weight is 452g or 15.9 - 16oz compared to unequipped brackets (from my previous post), which is 425g or 15oz. ⚖️ Please, keep watching my video, so I could save my time. 🙂

6th & 7th Image(s) ↑:

• [As you've seen in the video] Here's what the new CPU cooler fan looks like after a painstaking work of adjustment. And man, me & my paper dolls are sweating, while trying to make a quiet recording as much as possible. 😰 Well, not really because my big bro is watching YT from his laptop, and he's at upstairs.💻🛏️ So, we'll just have to ignore the background noise, though & keep recording. Anyways, we still have two items left, and I have a separate video for another post. 🙂

BTW: During the installation of the backplate, I appreciate the clicking sounds of the adjustment & clinging sounds of the screw holes. Again, if only this backplate was made of metal, but still.

- No final overall thoughts, this time around. Pls proceed to this link → [CLICK ME!] -

Well, that's all for now, if you haven't seen my previous topic, then please [CLICK ME!].

Tagged: @lordromulus90, @bryan360, @carmenramcat, @leapant, @rafacaz4lisam2k4, @paektu, @alexander1301

[chronotopes]

2022 is nearly over. time for 2021 personal writing wrapped

(2020) (2019)

salvaging this post for drafts because i don’t wanna miss a year and i have important professional reasons to be ruminating on theme’s and such in my writing

poetry: 

“dancing balls of yellow light”, february. emotional breakdown poetry that i had literally no memory of writing until i decided to scour my notes app. #girl

“The sonnet holds a self-destructive place...”, march-ish. I was in the last gasps of a three-year Really Stupid About Something Phase, and wrote a super groundbreaking and original meditation on petrarchism after discussing him in class. I’ve written better things, and also worse things.

“London”, August. In the summer of 2019, I made a call that every time I or someone I cared about was on an airplane I’d write a poem titled after my/their destination. Plane poetry is for hacks but only if they publish it.

“Philadelphia”, December. See above.

Four completed pieces in total.

fanfiction

CHOICELESS HOPE, January-March. A fucking ILLUSTRATED FANADVENTURE about postacanon terezi pyrope, predictably unfinished. Was anxious about starting this one because I was afraid of not finishing it. Then I didn’t finish it, and nobody died.

“the truth must dazzle gradually (or every man be blind),” May. Kanaya & Terezi relationship study. Underrated.

“When the open road is closing in,” (published in the dirkjake zine). Flash fiction hastily brainstormed on a trip to the outer banks; postcanon jake and brain ghost dirk have a talk about the modernist crisis of representation, because, like, of course they do.

“In other words, please be true,” December. - Sequel to a dirkjake space au written for dirkjake week 2022. 

Three completed pieces in total.

AL2RNIA, which is kind of fanfiction and kind of origfic, i guess

AIVIDE THE PREQUEL, the whole damn year. The monster. All-drafted, half-published, not-to-be-completed-in-the-foreseeable-future. Anyway, this is a novel about a girl who hates college and sucks at lesbian dating.

the aivide epilogues, sequel to aivide the prequel. very, very unfinished. a novel about a girl who was looking for a job. and then she found a job. and heaven knows she’s miserable now.

Heartbreaking! The Two Worst Women You’ve Ever Met Have A First Encounter - fun little vignette that was meant to be the intro to the aivide epilogues, in which aivide’s evil mom and vinbre’s even eviler mom meet for the first time

A bunch of character-buildy exercises from a guy with a ~Hyper Fixation?!~, including aivide’s disco elysium skills and her thoughts on the cast

Two complete pieces in total.

ACTUAL ORIGFIC (FOR MY SINS, I TOOK A FICTION CLASS)

“cass & laura, nashville pride,” february. psychological realism assignment that started out being called “one semi-final hour in nashville, tennessee.” a secret about me is that i am not good about writing psychological realist literary fiction, meaning that this is just a creative nonfiction piece with enough names, details, and places changed to make that plausibly deniable.

“Two Stories.”, February. Fairy-tale assignment for the same class. Frankly, the most competent piece of fiction I have written as an adult without cribbing from either a fictional property or my real life. Plays around with fairy tales and why we tell them. Confused my fellow participants in a very shitty three-person Zoom workshop.

“HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE: Or, a Smart Girl’s Guide To Persistent Boys.”, March. Lol. Another one that i always forget is not a nonfiction essay because i wrote it as what is basically a nonfiction essay. My professor, god bless him, astutely pointed out that it was, in fact, gender horror.

“The Saviors of the Galaxy! (And all that happened after.)”, April. Science fiction assignment. Introduction to what, scope-wise, is much more of a science fiction novella than a story. Pretty good; my professor was impressed, at least. What he didn’t know: the protagonists were based on June and Rose Homestuck.

Three complete pieces in total.

NONFICTION (2021 was my nonfiction flop era. huge L.)

“In another world, you die at eighty,” May. Lyric essay written the day of my friend’s funeral. (The world wasn’t this one!)

“Where Light Doesn’t Die,” April. Hypertext memoir about my trip to St. Petersburg; a more grown-up version of “Four Russias,” which I wrote in 2020.

“What Ceremony Else?”, November. Lyric essay written like six months after my friend’s funeral. About ghost tours and such.

Three complete pieces in total.

FINAL ROUNDUP CALLS

Works i was most excited about writing: AIVIDE THE PREQUEL and all of the other al2rnia writing

Work i am most impressed with in hindsight: “Where Light Doesn’t Die,” honestly the fairy tale and science fiction assignments, “In another world, you die at eighty.”

Work that could feasibly help me on an mfa application: “What Ceremony Else” if i changed just about everything about it (lol)

[rheallsim]

I just wanted to make a little post explaining why I haven't been as active here lately, so here goes!

[Fair warning, there's discussion about chronic health issues (Chronic Fatigue in particular) under the cut.]

So I really, really miss the old gameplay posts I used to make, for the Velasquez Legacy, my LEPacy family, the Globetrotter Challenge, etc. I miss the engagement and I miss the stories and I miss seeing my sims faces pop up on my timeline when their queued post is published.

The issue is I've been struggling for the past few years with worsening chronic fatigue symptoms. Nowadays I sleep on average of 9-12 hours every day and I still wake up just as exhausted as when I went to sleep. Most days I don't end up getting out of bed until 2pm in the afternoon, and it's not for a lack of trying; I'm just a complete useless utter zombie if I try to wake up before my body is ready to.

I started a job at the beginning of this year, a really good one for my circumstances, working from home five hours a day, twice a week. My coworkers were fantastic, my boss was the best boss I've ever had, and they worked so hard to accommodate me and my fatigue issues, but after working there for seven months I realized that my CFS was getting worse, not better. So I had to quit. :(

It was the first real job I'd had since 2010. It was such a wonderful opportunity, and with such great people, and I was heartbroken that I had to leave them. They said they'd do their best to welcome me back if I started to feel better, which was so kind of them! But right now I have no idea when that will be, if ever.

I've had CFS symptoms since well before COVID-19 hit us all, but my doctors didn't get their act together to seriously try and find me a specialist to help until around the time COVID hit. And of course, so many of the CFS resources, of which there were very few to start with, are now taken up by folks suffering with Long Covid, which presents almost exactly like CFS in many cases and have been treated by the same specialists.

I've been trying to find a specialist to take me on for years now, and haven't been able to find anyone. I've taken all sorts of tests to try and figure out what causes my fatigue, and even though we've ruled out a lot of things, we've found nothing that's helped. I've just been steadily getting worse over time, losing more and more of my life to this brain fog and lethargy.

Just a couple weeks ago, a referral to a specialist I was waiting on since February finally got back to me to say "We faxed your family doctor back in June to say we weren't taking any CFS patients, didn't he tell you?" And of course, he didn't. This is the third time he hasn't told me that a referral has fallen through and I had to find out months later on my own.

Years of my life have been taken up by this. Waiting months and months on a referral only to find it's a dead end and having to start all over again. And because of the current family doctor crisis and other health system issues it takes months for me to get another appointment with my GP just to discuss this all and have the process repeated for another year and a half to year-long wait.

Anyway… I'm sorry for rambling at you all! Long story short, I've been losing myself into a lot of escapism-type games that require little brain. And unfortunately, taking screenshots and writing gameplay stories for the Sims takes just a little too much brain for me to be able to do it reliably. So I've been taking a break from the social side of Simblr, and just letting myself play how I want for a while at my own pace.

Other than playing games I've been getting heavily into embroidery. When I have good days where I can actually focus long enough to work on it I've been really enjoying myself! Here's an example of some of the things I've made:

I miss being creative. I miss drawing, I miss writing, I miss creating things. I mourn for the life I could have had if it hadn't been taken away from me by CFS. But I'm grateful that I'm here, I'm grateful that I'm not in pain, that I'm otherwise healthy, that my family and friends and pets are wonderful and healthy, and that I can still embroider and make nice things when my body allows me to. Things aren't all bad. <3

Thank you for reading this far, if you have. I miss you all, and I hope you're all well! Keep being awesome, you're all so good at it. 🥰

[honeypiehotchner]

winter love (all i want for Christmas is you) -- Hotch x Fem!Reader

Hi hi hi!! I have literally been writing this on and off since September, and now I finally get to share it!! A few quick things: this fic has very much Hallmark vibes but does have a good dose of angst too; for the sake of this fic, Aaron was born and raised in Virginia; and Jack was never born (sorry buddy!).

I listened to Michael Bublé’s songs “All I Want for Christmas Is You” and “Cold December Night” a lot while writing this, so feel free to play those while you read! xx.

(The gif is from google because once again, my gif search is broken on here because apparently this post is too long?? Rip me)

Summary: You’ve returned back to your hometown after leaving to get your education, but you didn’t expect to run into your childhood best friend (and first love). 

Word count: 9.4k

HOTCH MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST

If you told yourself a few months ago that you’d be moving back to Virginia, you would’ve scoffed and probably laughed -- loudly. Your mom, on the other hand, would’ve been elated, and swore she knew it.

Like she’s doing now.

“I’m just so excited to have you home again,” she gushes, helping you carry boxes of your clothes up to your old childhood room.

The room needs some work, like taking down all these embarrassing posters and changing the sheets to something not so cringe-worthy (thankfully, it’s a full-size bed instead of the old twin you grew up sleeping on). But it’ll be fine for the time being. It’s not like you’re going to find an apartment right before Christmas, or that you even want to. It’s been a while since you’ve spent a full Christmas season with your mom.

You’ve been studying out of state for the past six years, working to get your masters and doctorate degrees — which you’ve completed. But now you need a job and a new start, which is why you decided to come home.

You’ve missed Virginia a lot more than you’ll admit. It’s hard not to miss your hometown when you’re gone from it for so long.

“We need a Christmas tree,” you say, as you come back down the stairs. “Christmas is next week, how do you not have a tree up yet?”

“I wasn’t going to get one without you,” your mom says like the fact should’ve been obvious to you.

You laugh as you plop down next to her on the couch. “I know. We should go tomorrow.”

“Whenever you want to,” she smiles, squeezing your arm. “Have you been to your coffee shop yet?”

“My coffee shop?” You raise an eyebrow. “Since when has it been mine?”

“Since you practically lived there during high school,” your mom counters.

She has a point. “Well, no, I haven’t. I just got here.”

“You should go.”

You raise both eyebrows this time, turning your entire body to face her. “What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you trying to get me to go back there?”

“Why don’t you want to?”

You give her a look. “You know why.”

“I don’t.”

She does. She knows exactly what happened there.

“I’m not repeating it,” you mutter. “And I’ll be finding a new coffee shop, thank you very much.”

“Oh, you can’t let one bad experience stop you from going there!”

“So you do remember!”

“How could I forget? When you were a wreck for months after. I still never forgave him for that, you know.”

You shake your head, settling back against the couch pillows. “It’s been long enough now that I think forgiveness won’t hurt anyone.”

You say that, and yet you don’t want to step foot in that shop ever again.

+++

It was the summer before your junior year. Aaron was a rising senior, so there was the weight of it being his last year already hanging in the air. Especially when he was already looking at a pre-law track for college — meaning he’d be insanely busy after graduation with not much time for you.

Unfortunately, you didn’t realize that his being too busy for you would start before then.

You were a year younger — technically almost two, but the way your birthday fell, you were only one grade younger — but that didn’t stop Aaron from being your friend. At first you thought he had ill intentions (as most older boys in high school did), but he didn’t. He genuinely enjoyed your company, and you genuinely enjoyed his.

More than genuinely. You say now that you don’t believe in love at first sight, but you know that’s because it already happened for you, and you believe it to be a one-time deal.

That one time was when Aaron sat across from you at the lunch table.

You were alone and reading a book. You were a freshman then, and being an extra year younger didn’t exactly help in the whole making friends department. Especially when a lot of your peers were already aware of your age.

But Aaron wasn’t aware, nor did he even care.

He saw that you were alone, and reading, and he decided to sit with you. He wanted to read too, anyway, but he knew he didn’t always like being alone when he read. Something told him you were the same way.

He was correct.

It took almost the entire fall semester before either of you said one word to each other. Sometimes you’d be too engrossed in the book you were reading to even notice he’d sat down in front of you. And when you would finally notice, he would be the one with his nose too deep in the book to notice.

But eventually, you started sharing book recommendations.

Which eventually turned into helping each other with homework. You were always better at math and Spanish than he was (you were already in the sophomore levels of these classes as a freshman), but he was always good with history and English. He must’ve noticed you were in freshman English and history, but he never commented on it — at least not in a way that said he was bullying you.

That winter break was when you started going to the coffee shop together. It was within walking distance of the high school, so the two of you would go at the end of the day until your parents could pick you up. Sometimes your mom would drive him home, or vice versa.

And when Aaron got his license, he’d drive you both there and drop you off at home.

The two of you were inseparable. Almost literally.

Until Aaron met Haley.

Haley was in theatre. She was everything you weren’t. Aaron’s age, pretty, funny, outgoing, and worst of all: popular.

You watched your best friend fall in love.

And that wouldn’t have hurt as bad as it did if it wasn’t Haley he was falling for.

You kept your feelings for Aaron quiet, even to your mom — though you found out later that she always knew. You had almost thought he felt the same, or that he might be beginning to, and then suddenly he was talking about some girl named Haley.

Only she wasn’t just “some girl” to him, or even to you. Everyone knew Haley Brooks.

Slowly, your lunch table conversations were less about what the two of you were going to do the coming weekend, and more about Haley. How he was going to get her to notice him (join theatre, even though he never liked theatre before her). How he was going to ask her on a date (it wouldn’t be a date at first, just dinner after theatre rehearsal, that ended up being with the entire cast, but he sat next to her). How he was going to win her over (he brought flowers to the first performance and surprised her backstage). How he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend (that was the same night as the flowers, completely unplanned, but she said yes).

How he thought he might want to marry her one day.

The last hurt most of all. He confessed it to you one night out of the blue as he was driving you home after school. You knew you could handle him being in love with someone else. Some sick part of you knew — or hoped, rather — that the relationship wouldn’t last. What high school relationship lasts longer than a few months, anyway?

But when Aaron fell for Haley, he fell completely. And hard.

He started cancelling plans with you to spend time with Haley — before they were even dating. When they were dating, he stopped making plans with you altogether.

Then came the summer before his senior year.

It had been months since you saw him last. You had a new lunch period the second half of the year because one of your favorite teachers asked for help during the period, which meant you didn’t have lunch with Aaron — but you don’t even think he noticed.

June came and went. The two of you barely saw one another, barely talked when you did. But when you did, you clung to those moments like they were your only lifeline. In a way, they were.

July finally came and he actually made plans to see you. He said he wanted to get coffee again, catch up, hang out for a few hours, sit in silence, even, whatever you wanted. You were excited.

Some part of you thought that he had broken up with Haley — wishful thinking, but you were sixteen and in love, what else were you supposed to think?

But he hadn’t broken up with her. They were very much in love. You know. You witnessed it.

Apparently, Haley didn’t like the idea of Aaron getting coffee and lunch alone with a female friend. So, she took it upon herself to tag along.

You saw them sharing a kiss through the window, Aaron’s back facing you. When they pulled away, Haley’s eyes caught yours, but she said nothing to Aaron, just pulled him back in for another kiss.

You didn’t go into the shop that day. And you haven’t since.

The last time you saw Aaron was the day before he moved to college. He was stopping by to say goodbye to you.

You were reading a book in your room, and your eyes caught the movement on the driveway. You told your mom to say you weren’t home.

You watched him leave from your bedroom window, hands stuffed in his pockets.

+++

You heard that Aaron and Haley got married. Not because you wanted to hear, but because your mom told you. She probably meant well, but you drank an entire bottle of wine that night. You weren’t even 21 yet at the time.

Of course, it’s been years since then. You’re all fine now, and you’ve got the student loan debt to prove it.

But even with three degrees, job hunting can be a bitch. Especially this time of year.

You need coffee.

You blame the fact that this coffee shop is the best one around. And the fact that it’s Christmas season, meaning they have your favorite drink again.  

Dark chocolate peppermint mocha. It’s a godsend. And you haven’t had one in years.

Well, you have. But they haven’t been from here. They haven’t had this shop’s specially made peppermint whipped cream, or the peppermint stick that can be used to stir.

You hate how much you have to psych yourself up before you walk inside. You don’t even know where Aaron is these days or what he’s doing. He could be halfway across the country for all you know.

So, with that fact in mind, you walk inside. You embrace the familiar sight and smells, remembering what it felt like the last time you were here.

You move toward the counter, falling in the short line to the register. And your stomach flips when you see a familiar face standing in front of you.

Well, his back is facing you, so you don’t see his face, but you know it’s him. There’s this thing about first loves. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since the last time you’ve seen them. You’ll always recognize everything about them. The back of their head, their shoulders, their hands, the way they walk.

Their voice. Even if it’s deeper than the last time you heard it.

Maybe he won’t recognize me.

But what you don’t know is that no amount of time could pass to make you unrecognizable to Aaron.

Or that he saw your reflection in the glass case next to him when you got in line, and he’s been internally trying to figure out what the hell to say to you since.

If it hadn’t been for his voice, you wouldn’t have recognized Aaron at all. A black coffee? That’s it?

The barista pours it and slides it over to him before he’s even done paying. He’s at a coffee shop -- this coffee shop, and he orders a black coffee?

Who is he?

You step up to the register as he steps away, and you swear you see him looking at you through the corner of your eyes. But you must be seeing things because why would he do that?

You focus on ordering -- a medium peppermint mocha, complete with the whipped cream and peppermint stick. After paying, you step to the side to wait for your coffee.

You nearly knock right into Aaron, but you stop yourself, well aware of his presence.

Another thing about first loves: you’re always painfully aware of their presence.

“Hi,” he says, awkward and fumbling even though it’s only one word. He’s wearing a stuffy suit and tie, which seems odd, but you’re positive that’s just normal lawyer attire. He probably lives in a suit these days. His hair is shorter than it used to be and he looks older, but so do you. Despite all of this, he’s still Aaron. He’s still the same Aaron Hotchner you fell in love with at sixteen.

“Hi,” you return the awkward smile, tugging on the strap of your purse. After a beat, you nod toward his drink. “Black coffee, huh?” You try to tease. “Who hurt you?”

He laughs loudly then, shoulders and head shaking. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Hotchner,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around yourself.

The conversation dies for a moment, so you busy yourself by looking at the different cakes and pastries in the glass case. You probably should’ve gotten one, but maybe another time.

Another time. Fifteen minutes ago you wouldn’t be caught dead in this shop and now you’re already thinking about another time.

“Are you busy?” Aaron suddenly asks, prompting you to look at him with furrowed brows. “Do you mind if I join you?”

“Not at all,” you smile gently, knowing you might regret this later. But it’s been over a decade since you’ve seen him last. One coffee won’t hurt.

And I’m over him, you remind yourself, no matter how untrue it might be.

Once you have your peppermint mocha -- finally, you think, it’s been too long -- you walk with Aaron to find a table. A lot has changed about this shop, but one thing that hasn’t (because there isn’t much that can be changed) is the seating.

Aaron leads you to your old table. The table the two of you practically lived at.

It makes your heart warm and ache all at once. The drink you decided to order isn’t helping matters either.

“So…” You pause, shifting in your seat. “What are you up to these days?”

“You stole my question,” he jokes.

“Tough,” you smile into your drink. “I asked it first.”

He chuckles, but answers anyway. “I’m working for the BAU now.”

“The B-A-What?”

“The-- FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

Your eyes widen. “Did you… Did you really just say you’re working for the FBI?”

“I think so,” he says. “I’m the unit chief.”

“You’re the-- Okay. So, you don’t work for the...the BAU, they work for you.”

“We’re a team,” he offers.

“Said every boss ever,” you quip, taking a long drink of your mocha. You take the peppermint stick in between your fingers and stir, eyebrows furrowing down at the swirl of coffee and whipped cream. “So...what do you do exactly?”

He opens his mouth to answer, then stops, hesitating. “Do you really want to know?”

You give him a look. “Of course I do.”

“It’s not great.”

“Aaron, just tell me, or I’ll start reciting my dissertation word for word.” Your statement stuns him to silence, so badly that you almost laugh. “That’s boring. Working for the FBI can’t possibly be boring.”

“Oh, it’s never boring, that’s for sure,” he mutters. “We profile serial killers.”

“You what?”

He laughs. “We look at their behaviors and crimes and build a profile, what they might look like, their age, that stuff.”

“Intriguing.”

“I can’t believe you’re interested.”

“I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t be,” you counter. “You know I thrive off this stuff.”

“I remember,” he says quietly.

And just like that, you remember, too.

It’s so easy to forget about all the hurt he caused, all the pain he left behind. Especially because you know he never intended to hurt you. He would never do that, not to you, not on purpose. You never told him how you felt. It’s not his fault he couldn’t read your mind.

“Well, you’ve got a doctorate,” he says, shifting the conversation. “What else are you up to?”

“How did you know it’s a doctorate?” You raise an eyebrow. “Are you profiling me? Did I use that correctly?”

“Yes,” he smiles. “And no, not intentionally. You said you’d recite your dissertation. Those are normally written to get doctorate degrees. You always wanted one, I assumed you met your goal.”

“You assume correct,” you nod. “I’m back to start job and apartment hunting, but after the new year. I wanted to spend some time with my mom.”

“How is she doing?”

“She’s good, she--” You pause, shaking your head with a laugh. “She actually brought you up yesterday.”

“Me?” Aaron looks genuinely shocked.

“Yeah, you,” you knock your foot against his leg without thinking, but you pay no mind, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention to it. “She’s actually the one who put the bug in my ear to come here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I haven’t been back here since…”

It takes him a moment, but he nods slowly. “Right.”

“Yeah,” you draw your legs closer to you on instinct. “But that was a long time ago. How are you and Haley?”

You don’t expect the way his face falls. You glance down at his left hand. No ring.

“We got a divorce a few years ago, split up about a good year before that,” Aaron explains. “She’s good, last I heard. Remarried already.”

“Wow,” you murmur, not knowing what else to say. “What-- I mean, what happened?” When he hesitates, you backpedal. “Sorry, I shouldn’t even ask, it’s probably a sensitive question.”

“It’s okay,” Aaron chuckles. “I don’t mind talking about it with you.”

That sends a dangerous flutter through your stomach. “Okay. Well I’m all ears.”

“Oh, it’s not a long story, it was just my job,” he shrugs. “I took the unit chief position and she was happy at first. But then, there was a period of time where we had what felt like case after case after case.” He shakes his head. “I was barely home, but I was barely in one state for long, anyway. It was a stressful time. We were everywhere at once.”

“That does sound stressful,” you frown. “Has it slowed down now?”

“Kind of, it has its moments,” he admits. “But being gone so much, it took a toll on her. She wanted to start a family, but said she couldn’t do that if I was never there.”

“But I mean she had to have known how your schedule would be with the new job, right?”

“Yeah,” he says, then shrugs. “It’s been so long now that I stopped trying to understand her thought process.”

“I get that,” you say sincerely. You understand not wanting to waste energy on something like that anymore. Sometimes you just have to give it up and have peace with the fact that you’ll never understand.

“What about you?” He asks suddenly, catching you off guard. “Seeing anyone?” He adds it quietly, like he’s shy.

Aaron Hotchner. Shy. Around you.

“Oh,” you nearly laugh at the prospect. “No. No, I’m not. Do you really think I would be if I was moving back in with my mom?”

He laughs, bringing his coffee to his lips. “You have a point there.”

A comforting silence settles over the two of you after that.

You shouldn’t feel slightly giddy that his and Haley’s relationship didn’t work out in the end. You’re over him by now, anyway. But something about being right has you fighting a smile. You smother the urge, though, knowing he probably doesn’t want to hear anyone, let alone you, say, “I told you so.”

You do feel bad for him, genuinely. Divorce is never easy for anyone, and you hate he went through that. Especially like that. Haley knew his work schedule would change. Why would she act supportive if she knew this in advance? Just sits uneasy with you, that’s all.

Of course, you feel that overprotective-best-friend nature coming back to you.

“What plans do you have now that you’re back?” He asks, keeping the conversation up, but you can tell he’s earnest — which makes you smile.

“Nothing, really. My mom and I are getting a Christmas tree later, but that’s all I have on my schedule.” You pause, giving him another look. “We both know you were my only friend in high school. Who do you think I’m going to see while I’m here?”

“Hopefully a lot of me,” he replies easily, smiling around his coffee.

And for once, you don’t hesitate to reply. “I hope so, too, actually. I didn’t think you were still around here. And I really didn’t expect you to be working for the FBI.”

“This might be presumptuous of me, but what are you doing this weekend?” He asks, quickly adding on, “A good friend of mine is hosting a Christmas party for the team, and I’ve basically been threatened to bring a plus one.”

“Threatened, huh?” You raise an eyebrow.

He nods seriously. “They won’t let me inside without one.”

You gasp comically, keeping up the act. “Well you can’t miss the party!”

“I know,” he sighs, propping his head in his hand.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to come with,” you say, still deadly serious.

But Aaron’s lips split into a grin the same time yours does. “It’s this Saturday.”

“Lucky for you, I’m free.”

He doesn’t stop grinning. “I can pick you up, if you want.”

“Yeah, I’d love that,” you say. “I should probably give you my number, shouldn’t I?”

“I was going to ask,” he admits.

You roll your eyes playfully. “I figured.”

After exchanging numbers, the two of you return to your idle conversations. Only, they’re less idle than they ever have been before.

He vents about still not understanding how people can be capable of the things he sees. How he knows that everyone is capable of unspeakable things, but it’s how they do it that still makes him stumble sometimes. And you try to sympathize, though you know you can’t. But still you tell him not to try to understand.

“You’re a good man,” you say. “You’re not going to understand it because you’re not like them.”

“Thank you,” he whispers. “I know that, consciously. Sometimes it’s good to hear it from someone else.”

Then he tells you it’s your turn, and again, you don’t feel the need to hesitate.

You tell him how you weren’t planning on moving back here at all. But the job market where you were didn’t...fit you, for some reason. You never felt like you belonged, and so maybe that’s why you wanted to come back here.

Because even though you left this place heartbroken, you still felt like you belonged when you were here. You felt like you belonged when you were with him, but you don’t tell him that.

Something tells you he heard it anyway, though. Being a profiler and all. Which you still don’t quite understand, but you’re sure he’ll have plenty of time to tell you in the coming future.

+++

After an hour or two, you decide it’s time for you to head back home. Partly because you need to make some lunch for yourself, and partly because you’ve watched Aaron dismiss at least three phone calls in the last twenty minutes.

But he didn’t say a word each time, so you know he won’t tell you who it is or if he needs to go. It makes your heart warm at the thought that he wants to spend more time with you, but if it’s his job, then he needs to go.

He walks you to your car and you hug him around his neck, unashamedly taking a deep breath of his cologne when you stretch up to wrap your arms around him. He didn’t wear cologne back in high school. But this one smells good.

You mentally prepare yourself on the way home for the amount of questions your mom is no doubt going to ask.

You’re supposed to be going to pick out a tree with her today, which means you were supposed to be home a little earlier than this, which means your mom probably already knows what happened and you won’t even get a chance to explain yourself.

In the end, your prediction was correct.

“How was your peppermint mocha?” You glance over to the couch and find your mom sitting there, idly reading a book.

The question is as directly indirect as they come. You raise an eyebrow and kick the front door closed (yes, she asked before you even stepped foot inside the house). “It was good,” you reply, shrugging your jacket off your shoulders. “Why?”

“Oh, you enjoyed it for almost two hours, so I was just wondering.” Your mom fights back a grin, but she’s not doing a very good job.

You sigh. “Just go ahead and ask.”

She closes her book. “Alright, fine, I will. How is Aaron?”

There it is.

“He’s good,” you answer rather pointedly, making your way into the living room. “He’s working for the FBI now.”

“Oh, I knew that already.”

You plop down next to her on the couch. “Seriously?”

“Of course!” She cries, like it should be obvious. “Small talk happens when you see someone in the store.”

“Right,” you scoff. “Anyway, thanks for not telling me him and Haley divorced.”

She grimaces.

“Yeah, exactly,” you nod at her expression. “That’s how I felt. I bet it was just awesome of me to ask about how him and his ex-wife are doing.”

“I’m sorry,” your mom says. “It completely slipped my mind. It’s been so long since those two split.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when it happened?”

“Because I didn’t want to bring him up,” she answers sincerely. “You seemed like you had really moved on. I figured it didn’t matter, and I didn’t want to make you start thinking about him again when you had finally gotten over it all.”

“Oh,” you murmur. “Well, thank you, then, but...still. I feel like an idiot.”

“Did he seem angry when you asked?”

“No, the opposite,” you sigh. “He explained what happened and I let him talk about it for a second, but he seems mostly moved on from it.”

“I don’t know how he can be,” your mom scoffs. “She’s already remarried, you know.”

“Yeah, he told me.”

Your mom shakes her head. “I should’ve shook some sense into that boy when he came to say goodbye that day.” Then she pauses, poking your leg. “And I should’ve made you say goodbye to him. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

“I didn’t wanna talk to him,” you shrug. “We barely had all year, anyway. And one goodbye would not have stopped him from going to college and marrying Haley, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know.” She sighs. “It’s fun to think about, though.”

“Well stop thinking about it,” you mutter. “We are friends and he’s probably seeing someone by now. I don’t even know how long I’ll be here, so.”

Your mom raises her eyebrows. “I never said anything about what you guys are now.”

Damn. Caught. “I know, but I’m just...catching you before you do.”

“Mmm, more like catching yourself.”

“Shut up.”

She lightly hits you with a pillow. “Don’t say that to your mother,” she jokes. “Especially not when I’m right and you know it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you ready to pick out a tree?”

“Of course,” she replies. “Just let me find my shoes.”

While she’s getting ready -- because “finding her shoes” really means fixing her hair and makeup and changing outfits a couple times -- you get a text from Aaron.

Aaron: It was nice catching up with you today

You smile and type your reply. Ditto. We should do it again sometime.

He doesn’t reply, but you figure he’s busy at work, anyway. And you’ve got a tree to pick out and decorate, so you’re technically busy, too.

You try not to think too much about it.

+++

And truthfully, you don’t think much about it, until Aaron finally replies. It’s hours later when you’re decorating the freshly-cut Christmas tree in the living room, with Michael Bublé’s Christmas album playing through the stereo speakers. It’s just like when you were younger.

You check your phone and see that it’s Aaron texting you back, but you pocket it before reading the message. You’re busy.

Your mom notices the change on your face. “Everything alright?” She asks as she places a snowflake ornament on one of the smaller branches.

You nod without thinking, hating yourself for even feeling what you’re feeling right now. A glittery red ornament hangs from your index finger as you try to find the right branch to hang it on -- and while your mind wanders all over the place.

“Clearly not,” your mom replies. “But alright.” She turns and reaches into a different box, picking up one of the golden jingle bells that she always hides deep within the tree each year. When you were younger, she’d hide them without you seeing, and then on Christmas Eve you’d have to search the tree for them before you could open one present before going to sleep.

You snort a laugh, always loving her way of getting you to open up: sarcasm. “It’s just Aaron.”

“Aaron?”

“Texting me,” you explain, looking down at the glitter coating your fingertips from the ornaments.

“Aren’t you going to reply?” She asks, grabbing another jingle bell.

“Technically he’s the one replying from earlier today.”

“Okay…”

You sigh. Time to cave. “He invited me to a Christmas party this weekend.”

Your mom doesn’t even try to hide her excitement or her wide grin. “Really? That’s great!”

Is it? You want to ask, but you stop yourself. “Yeah,” you shrug. “I guess so. It’ll be nice to hang out with him more.” You pause, finally hanging the small glittery red ornament on the tree that you’ve been idly holding for the past two minutes. “Apparently a friend of his is hosting it and basically told him he wouldn’t be allowed inside without a plus one.” You chuckle quietly, knowing Aaron had to have rolled his eyes when his friend told him that.

“So it’s...a date, then?”

“What? No,” you shake your head. “No, no. Not a date. He didn’t phrase it that way.”

“Sweetheart, plus one implies date.”

“Who says?”

“Everyone!” Your mom laughs. “Bringing a plus one to a wedding is usually a casual date, if not bringing your significant other along.”

“This isn’t a wedding, it’s just a Christmas get together.”

“Same difference.”

“Well, I think you’re doing that thing again where you try to plant seeds in my brain for things that are unnecessary,” you raise an eyebrow at her when she avoids eye contact, so you know you’ve caught her red-handed. “All that aside,” you sigh. “I’m over him. It’s been so long. If something was going to happen, it would have already.”

“Whatever you say,” she shrugs indifferently, grabbing the final jingle bell to hide in the top of the tree. For a brief moment, you wish you hadn’t been watching where she hid them, so you could do the search on Christmas Eve one more time.

+++

You bump into Aaron one more time, two days later, at the same coffee shop.

“Back for more?” He teases as he slides into the seat across from you, another black coffee in his right hand.

You’re sitting at the table the two of you call home with yet another peppermint mocha sitting in front of you and your laptop. More job hunting is the task for today, even though you’re ready to give up and just pick it back up after the New Year. It’s not like your mom is making you pay rent, and you have enough in savings to help with groceries (without her knowledge, of course, because she refuses to let you pay for anything) and buy your own coffees. But, you decided to give it one last go today.

That is, until Aaron slid into the seat in front of you. Now, you close your laptop and place it back in your bag. “Just needed some fuel for more job hunting,” you grin. “What are you doing here?”

“I took off for lunch for once and thought I might find you here.”

“Oh?” You raise your eyebrows. “Were you seeking me out, Hotchner?”

“Maybe a little,” he admits with a shy smile. “Are you still good for tomorrow?”

“As long as you are,” you nod. “What time?”

“I’ll pick you up at five, if that’s good?”

“Perfect,” you smile. “Are you ready to introduce me to your friends?”

“Depends,” he exhales exasperatedly. “Are you ready to meet them?”

“They can’t be that bad.”

“They might be. If you aren’t used to them.” He pauses. “They don’t know you’re coming, by the way.”

“What?” You almost laugh. “Why not?”

“I told them I was bringing someone, but I didn’t feel like hearing it all week about who I was bringing.” He pauses again, like he’s holding something back, and then he lets it out. “They know all about you.”

You blink. “They do?”

“Yeah,” he smiles gently. “I talk about you all the time.”

“No,” you shake your head. “No you don’t. There’s no way.”

“You’ll believe it tomorrow,” he chuckles. “I’m sure they’ll try to embarrass me.”

“I-I mean...what do you even say about me?”

He shrugs. “That you were my best friend in high school and...that I missed you and wondered what you were up to these days, and how we used to hang out here.” He looks around the shop, then back to you and your bewildered expression. “What?” He laughs. “You didn’t talk to your friends about me?”

“No, I did,” you laugh quietly. But I said different things. And most of the time I was crying because I missed you, especially my first year of college when my roommate tried to get me to go on a double date with her boyfriend and his roommate, but I refused and had to confess that I wasn’t over you and that you broke my heart, and I was such a mess that she brought ice cream and chocolate back after their date.

But you don’t say any of that. Obviously.

“I just didn’t expect you to even...think about me, I guess,” you finally spit out, still shaking your head. “I mean...we haven’t talked since high school, I figured you’d forgotten or moved on, at least. Especially since you had Haley.”

Aaron’s expression softens and turns sad, quickly. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I didn’t know you thought any of that.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” you wave his worry away. “It’s years ago. Water under the bridge.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. Then, he says, “Haley was jealous of you, you know.”

You immediately look up from your mocha, your eyes wide in shock. “She was what?”

“Oh yeah,” Aaron laughs. “Devastatingly jealous of you. She swore we were dating or that I was in love with you or something.”

Or something. “Wow,” you chuckle, trying to mask your hurt as much as possible. “Why did she even think that?”

You know why. You know exactly why. Because before her, you and Aaron were attached at the hip. You sat together during lunch, walked each other home, hung out at the coffee shop, went to school functions together (well, you’d actually go with a big group, but you two always ended up together anyway), and so on and so forth. Anyone would’ve been an idiot to not assume you two were dating.

“We were so close,” he shrugs. “She said she was so surprised when I asked her to be my girlfriend because she swore I was dating you. She actually asked me that, when I gave her the flowers. She said, “What about Y/N?” And I said, “Y/N? She’s just my best friend.” And she didn’t believe me.”

“That’s so crazy,” you say, but you’re really thinking back to that day you and Aaron had decided to meet up here and hang out after so long. When Haley crashed the hangout. When she locked eyes with you and smirked before pulling him back in for another kiss.

She was jealous. She was jealous and she knew exactly what she was doing that day.

Aaron’s phone starts ringing and he sighs heavily, pulling it out. He almost declines it, but then stops himself. “It’s the boss,” he says. “My boss. I’ve gotta take this. I’ll text you later?”

“Sure,” you smile, knowing he might forget or get too busy to think about it. But that’s okay. “Good luck with the phone call.”

“Thanks,” he chuckles. “I’ll need it.” And then he brings his phone up to his ear. “Agent Hotchner,” he says, and you hate that you find it so hot.

+++

You almost cancel with Aaron a dozen times before 2p.m.

You blame the conversation the two of you had yesterday. For some reason, the thought of Haley being jealous of you had never crossed your mind. Because to you, it was so obviously the other way around. Of course, you weren’t vocal about your jealousy, but you were certain she knew. Not that it was the other way around.

Old feelings have already resurfaced, which is bad enough, but the talk about Haley and about how Aaron’s friends know all about you made things worse. Especially the latter.

Why would he talk about you so much if the two of you hadn’t spoken in years? Not even years, but like an entire decade. Why would he still talk about you and think about you that much?

You have dwelled over those questions since he left the coffee shop yesterday.

But now, you have no idea what to wear, and Aaron will be here any minute. You’re assuming the attire is casual, not fancy, since it’s just a get together with his friends -- who all happen to be his team of agents. FBI agents. Because he’s just casually the Unit Chief of the BAU.

It still baffles you. He wanted to be a lawyer. Not in the FBI. God.

He’s still your Aaron. That’s what shocks you the most. He’s experienced law school, marriage, practicing law, working for the FBI, becoming a Unit Chief, divorce, and yet he’s still the Aaron Hotchner you were best friends with in high school.

You wonder if you’re still the girl he was best friends with in high school. Or if you’ve changed so drastically that he doesn’t see you that way anymore.

You take a deep breath, going back to digging through the many boxes of clothes that you have yet to unpack. You need a sweater or something. That’s safe enough, right? It’s too cold for a dress, and frankly, you’re not in the mood for wearing one, anyway.

Finally, you find the sweater you were looking for. You tug it over your head, figuring your jeans are fine enough. You’ll wear some low heels to make it look like you put in a little more effort.

Your quick thinking is to your benefit because the doorbell rings almost as soon as you’re done doing the clasp on your second heel.

But because your mom is quicker than you, she’s already opened the door and let Aaron in before you can make it downstairs. And by the time you are coming down the stairs, Aaron is sitting on the couch with your mom, making idle conversation.

“Hey,” you smile at him, resisting the urge to glare at your mom. “Ready?”

“If you are,” he nods, standing to his feet.

When he turns, you shoot your mom a look. “We’ll be back later.”

“You’re not in high school,” your mom laughs. “You two have fun for as long as you like.”

“I know,” you say. “But I also know you’ll wait up until I get back.”

“And you can’t stop me,” she replies pointedly.

Aaron laughs at the two of you, your banter just as he remembers from all those years ago. Neither of you have changed one bit.

After a final moment of bickering, you bid your mom goodbye and leave with Aaron.

In the car, you ask, “Have you told them about me coming yet?”

From the driver’s seat, he shakes his head. “No, so prepare yourself for a lot of questions.”

“I think you’re the one that’ll be in hot water, but alright,” you chuckle. “I can hear them now. ‘Why didn’t you tell us you were bringing her!’”

He laughs loudly. “That’s not a bad impression, actually.”

“Why, thank you,” you smirk. “It’s a hidden talent of mine.”

“Oh, really?”

“Mhm.”

The two of you share a grin as he keeps driving.

+++

After some time -- long enough that you were beginning to wonder where he’s taking you -- Aaron finally turns into a subdivision. But it’s still not what you were expecting.

You assumed FBI agents must make good money, but not this good. This is a mansion. It’s massive. There has to be at least six bedrooms in there, maybe more.

“Is your friend a millionaire or something?”

Aaron chuckles, “Maybe. Probably. Maybe more.”

“More?” Your eyes widen. “Wow.” And then Aaron pulls into the driveway. “Wow.”

He puts the car in park and says, “Try not to look too surprised. Dave won’t shut up about the house if you get him started.”

“What if I want to hear everything?” You ask, scrambling out of the car to look up at the house. “Jesus Christ.” Then you whip your head around to look at Aaron exasperatedly. “Does your house look like this?”

“No, no,” he shakes his head. “No. This is too big. Dave’s crazy for buying it.”

“He’s definitely insane,” you nod. “I mean, what do you even need a house this big for?”

Aaron shrugs. “Christmas parties, I guess.” He pauses, holding out his arm for you. “Ready to face the lions?”

You roll your eyes through a laugh, loosely holding onto his arm. “Quit being so dramatic. I bet it’ll be just fine.”

“Let’s hope so,” Aaron replies. Because truthfully, he is a little worried that they might scare you off. They have a habit of doing that.

The two of you walk up to the front door, and you try your best to act like you’ve been in the general vicinity of a house this big before. Dave must be a really good friend of Aaron’s, because instead of knocking or ringing the doorbell, Aaron twists the doorknob and walks right in with you on his arm.

“Dave’s making pasta,” Aaron whispers, smelling the air. He shuts the door gently, wanting to surprise the team as much as possible.

You sniff the air, too, smiling happily. “Smells really good. Is that carbonara?”

“Good nose,” a voice says from the kitchen.

“That’s Dave,” Aaron chuckles, walking you down the hall toward the smell.

The team’s eyes all widen dramatically and comically when Aaron Hotchner steps inside the kitchen with a woman on his arm.

“Well, hello,” one of them says, sliding off the stool at the counter to saunter over to you. He’s all suave and swagger.

“Derek Morgan, this is Y/N,” Aaron introduces you quickly, knowing the reaction your name will get.

“Hold up,” Derek pauses, glancing between you and Aaron. “Y/N? As in the Y/N?”

“I don’t know about being the Y/N, but that is my name,” you laugh. “Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Derek says, a hand over his heart to add to the sincerity. “Where have you been hiding all this time?”

“Getting a doctorate,” you shrug, only now realizing that your hand is still holding onto Aaron’s arm, but he doesn’t seem fazed by it either, so you don’t move.

“Oh, alright,” Derek chuckles. “Hey Reid, we’ve got another doctor here.”

The man in question, Reid, looks up from the book he was reading with furrowed eyebrows. “Hi.” He waves.

“Hey,” you wave back. “What’re you reading?”

“War and Peace. In Russian, though.”

“In-- Wow, okay.”

“He’s a genius,” Morgan explains.

“I see that,” you chuckle.

Aaron finishes the introductions for you. “That’s JJ, handles the press for us because none of us want to do it.”

“He’s not wrong,” JJ replies with a laugh. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“You too,” you smile.

“You met Reid, his first name’s Spencer,” Aaron supplies, and Reid is too far gone in the book again to notice. “This is Emily Prentiss.”

“And I have been dying to meet you,” Emily says. “You are exactly how he described.”

“In a good way, I hope?” You laugh nervously.

She nods. “Definitely.”

Aaron points to the other woman at the counter. She’s dressed in all sorts of crazy colors with glasses that match her outfit. And before he can introduce her, she says, “I’m Penelope Garcia, technology extraordinaire. I keep them out of trouble.”

“And we love you for it,” Derek adds.

“And this is Dave,” Aaron finishes.

“It is very nice to finally meet you,” Dave says, and actually shakes your hand. “Do you know how to make carbonara?”

“Yes, actually,” you say, earning a surprised look from Aaron. “I went through a phase when I was younger, wanting to make anything and everything that sounded good, so I’ve made this a few times. My mom loves it.”

Dave loves the sound of that. “Would you like to help me?”

You practically light up inside and out. “Seriously? I’d love to!”

“Oh, here we go,” Derek groans. “He’s roped her in.”

You ignore him, slipping away from Aaron to grab the other apron off the hook by the entrance to the kitchen. You slide your head through the loop and tie it at the back in a matter of seconds, too excited to contain it.

“I almost went to culinary school, you know,” you say to no one in particular, but Aaron is listening, and so is Dave.

“Why didn’t you?” Aaron asks.

You shrug. “Didn’t seem practical.” Which isn’t the real answer at all. The real answer is you got your heart broken and needed to do a complete 180 in life, so you did. Culinary school was out. Getting a doctorate was in. You turn on the water in the sink and begin washing your hands. “What do you need me to do?”

For the next hour, you help Dave make the carbonara, occasionally answering any questions Aaron’s friends have for you.

Aaron pours you a glass of wine and sits at the counter, watching you cook. You look more at peace than he’s seen you since a few days ago when he first bumped into you again.

You catch him looking at you more than a handful of times. It feels good. Spending the evening with his friends, his team, with him. You’ve missed spending time with him more than anything else.

Dave serves up the carbonara, telling you to sit down since you helped so much already. You don’t make him ask twice.

+++

After dinner, everyone moves into the living room, scattering on the various couches and chairs. Reid has finished reading War and Peace, so the book sits discarded on one of the coffee tables.

You take the spot on the couch next to Aaron, careful not to spill your wine. Penelope sits on the other side of you, with Derek on her other side, which all but forces you to move closer to Aaron, and something about the look on Penelope’s face tells you it was done on purpose.

You’re not exactly complaining, though. With a full stomach and a fresh glass of wine, Aaron’s presence is even warmer than before. You pay no mind when he shifts his left arm, stretching it over the back of the couch and allowing you to scoot closer, your legs pressed against each other’s.

The conversation continues, and somehow the subject of relationships is brought up.

“Yeah, why was I the only one asked to bring someone?” Aaron asks. “I’d like to see all of you find a last minute date.”

Another warm rush goes through your body at the word date. This is a date. Alright then.

“I think you did just fine,” Dave says, nodding to you. “Don’t you?”

You shrug, not sure of what to make of it. “I’m having fun, so I guess so.”

“See?” Dave gives Aaron a look. “You did fine.”

Aaron gives his friend a tired glare. “Only because she happened to be back from getting her degrees. Otherwise, I would’ve been stuck.”

“Nah, man, you could’ve called Beth.”

You feel Aaron tense next to you, but you aren’t sure if he tensed up or if you did. Maybe both. Probably both. You weren’t aware there was someone else.

“Who’s Beth?” You ask as casually as possible, ignoring the heated glares Penelope, JJ, and Emily alike are sending Derek. Seriously, Derek would be dead three times over right now if looks could be deadly.

Aaron shrugs before answering you. “Her and I dated briefly last year.”

You nod slowly, trying not to seem hurt or upset or anything by this because it’s ridiculous of you to be fighting back tears, but you can’t help it.

It’s high school, goddamnit, it’s fucking high school all over again.

The topic of conversation shifts thanks to Reid being the endless supplier of random facts. One question about Russian from Emily and he’s taking over, washing the awkwardness away in two languages.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work as well for you as it does for everyone else.

You set your wine glass down on the table and tell Penelope you’re going to use the bathroom. You have no clue where it is, but she doesn’t know that.

Aaron does. And Aaron hears the tone of voice you use.

He waits until you’re down the hall before he stands to follow you, foregoing any explanation to his friends. They already know what he’s doing.

Aaron’s suspicions are correct when he hears the front door close and sees your coat no longer hanging next to his on the hook by the door. He grabs his and only gets one arm through a sleeve before he’s opening the door, eyes searching the premises for you.

Thankfully, he finds you after two seconds, and his racing heart slows a little. You’re standing by the reindeer lights on Dave’s front lawn. Your coat is only hanging on your shoulders, something you’ve always done since high school when you were upset.

“It feels more like a blanket,” you had told him one day. “Blankets are more comforting than jackets.”

He doesn’t see the difference, but you do, and that was enough for him.

He has both arms through the sleeves by the time he’s next to you. He gently touches your arm to get your attention, adding a soft, “Hey,” for good measure.

You turn your head at the sound, having already known he was coming because you heard the front door open. In the back of your mind, you had wanted him to follow you out here, but now that he’s done it, you aren’t so sure this is what you wanted.

You wanted to ignore the feeling. Get it to disappear on its own. Survive the night, then never talk to him again. You were heartbroken, but it was better when you weren’t speaking to him. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron says softly. “Beth and I haven’t spoken since our last date a year ago. It was only three dates. We weren’t serious at all.” He pauses. “I have no idea why Derek said that. He doesn’t think before he speaks sometimes.”

You nod, not having it in you to laugh at Aaron’s small jab, even though he is entirely correct. Derek is a quick thinker with a sharp wit, but you can see how it might backfire sometimes. Like tonight.

You believe Aaron, you really do. But it’s so hard. “Did you love her?”

Aaron is stunned for a moment, but says, “No. I don’t think I did.”

“Okay.” You shake your head, looking down at the grass. “I’m just trying to figure out why Derek would’ve brought her up if...if you guys dated so briefly.”

Aaron sighs. “I don’t know.”

“And is this a date?” You blurt, finally finding the courage to get that one out. “Because if it is, I…I don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?”

You shake your head again, trying to find the right words, but they always seem out of reach. “Just...tell me this won’t be like high school.”

This time Aaron is too stunned to form a real answer. “What?”

“Please,” you sound like you’re about to cry and you feel so pathetic that you wish you had never agreed to come tonight. But you’re here anyway. “I was in love with you then, and I’m still in love with you now, but I can’t do that again. So if this is a just friends thing and always will be, I need you to tell me before I hurt myself all over again.”

Aaron can’t believe his ears. He swears he heard you wrong. He must have. “You were in love with me in high school, too?”

“Yes-- Wait, too? What do you mean too?” Now you’re looking at him, eyes wide in confusion, shock, every emotion possible. “Too?”

“I was in love with you, Y/N,” he chuckles, reaching for your hands. “I thought you just saw me as an older brother. That’s why I never...said anything.”

“What?” You breathe, letting him thread his fingers through yours. “Are you serious? You better not be pulling my leg, Hotchner. Don’t do that to me.” You tug on his hands for emphasis, giving him a stern look.

“I’m not joking,” he says, taking a step closer. “I wouldn’t joke about this.”

“Oh my god,” you say, disbelief a powerful thief of words. “I can’t believe… So you went after Haley because…”

“Because I heard from one of her friends that she had a crush on me,” he admits. “I did love her, but not as much as I loved you. Never as much as I loved you.”

You don’t know what else to do or say. He looks so beautiful in this light that it hurts, and now he’s saying words you never thought you’d ever hear.

“Do you forgive me?” He asks. “For breaking your heart?”

“Only if you forgive me for breaking yours,” you whisper.

He shakes his head. “I broke my own. I should’ve told you how I felt.” He pauses. “I even talked to you about Haley all the time. Is that why you didn’t say goodbye to me?”

You nod. “It sounds so stupid now, but I was so hurt.”

“I’m an idiot,” he laughs. “I’m the dumbest fool to ever walk the Earth.”

“We both are,” you correct him, taking a step closer. It’s cold out here, but he’s warm. He’s always been so warm. Like home.

And you-- you’ve always been who Aaron thinks of when he thinks about being happy. It’s always been you. A moment like this, and a thousand others. He wants them all. And to think, you do too.

His lips meet yours in a long-awaited kiss, cold noses bumping against one another, his warm hands holding your face, your chilled fingers finding their home on his neck, stealing his warmth.

From the window, the team watches, and Emily exchanges money with Derek.

[threecheersforinking]

Wonder Egg Priority: What Happened???

I cannot believe I have to make another one of these, only a few months after my Promised Neverland post, but here we are again.

I never expected Wonder Egg Priority to be perfect; it was an anime original so there was no precedent or already existing storyline like The Promised Neverland had, and there were definitely a few shaky ideas and weird decisions made throughout the first season. But I was willing to overlook that stuff because of the uniqueness of the show as a whole and its bold takes on serious topics. After a lot of interesting new plot points were introduced in the literal last episode of the season, I figured the upcoming special airing at the end of June would answer some of my questions. Boy, was I wrong!

The first red flag was that the entire first half of the ‘special’ was a recap of the first season. I’m not against recaps necessarily, and I think having one a few months after the conclusion of the show wasn’t a bad idea because it’s good to have a refresher on some plot points, but it just made me uneasy that they advertised it as a ‘45 minute special’ when that’s far from the truth. Only 20 minutes or so were actual new material.

And the new material was... bad. Like I said before, I really didn’t have high hopes for this show the way I did for The Promised Neverland. I knew they were trying new things, and I was willing to accept an ending that I didn’t necessarily like, as long as it made sense. Well, it did not make sense, and I definitely did not like it either. All of the main girls felt bland and out of character, and I really hated what they did with Mr. Sawaki especially after the ominous foreshadowing in episode 12. And frankly, it’s not even worth getting into all of the loose ends they didn’t even address at all.

I don’t know all of the details, but it’s been revealed that Wonder Egg Priority’s studio had been horribly mistreating their staff, which is likely the main contributor to this fizzled out, disappointing finale. Right now, the anime industry is suffering from a lot of the same issues as the gaming industry; overwork of employees is leading to disappointing end results. Obviously the safety and mental health of the workers is the most important thing here, but the fact is the audience doesn’t want this either.

I can speak for most anime fans when I say that we’d much rather stuff take longer to come out than to have to deal with recap episodes and shittier quality animation and writing. Hell, I would’ve waited a whole year if Wonder Egg got a second season or if the special was actually an hour long (and was actually good). When a show deals with this many sensitive and triggering topics, you really need to put time and effort into seeing these storylines through to the end. And it’s really horribly ironic to make a show about suicide awareness and mental health while driving your employees to have breakdowns and health crises as a result of making it.

I know that money is a huge part of this discussion and the reason these animation studios are doing all this stuff is because of money, somehow, but I really hope things are gonna change. I firmly believe that people would be more willing to give their money to studios who treat their employees better.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I’d like to know your thoughts on the finale if you watched it, and if you didn’t... I’d recommend keeping it that way. Hopefully things will change someday, but it’s a shame Wonder Egg Priority had to end like this.

-threecheersforinking

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 15 June ‘21

Venice MP filming is underway, romantic canalside walks and gondola ride are a GO, as seen in pap pics and many (many) videos from fans gathered on site! I’m sure they appreciated all the little sheer polo showing off Harry’s tits, who doesn’t love a good hiddies moment huh? GQ probably did too; they already wrote a whole article about the outfit Harry wore yesterday! But even they can’t say anything better about those shorts than that they look “presentable” LMAO. TAKE THAT corduroy shorts! What about those fans though? Well, they are certainly bringing us plenty of videos- Harry handing co-star David up out of a boat like a sweet gentleman, aww, Harry skipping about between shots, Harry with a lil purse, Harry just trying to live his life and like go eat food when not working, etc etc... maybe folks could take a few steps back? Looks like Harry is really getting hounded through the tiny Venetian streets and on set, by pretty large crowds, to the extent of disrupting filming, oh no. Harry signed a picture for a nearby school-- “stay outrageous”, again dating it (June ‘21) but possibly by the end of the day he was wishing people would not be quite so outrageous.

Meanwhile the antis stuck at home are frothing at the mouth trying to convince larries (or maybe themselves?) that we now ship David and Harry- uh sorry sweaty but having the ability to understand that holding hands for cameras does not have to mean that people are really fucking is actually a pretty major core component of the whole larrie thing?! But good luck with that! It makes sense that seeing Harry acting lovey dovey with someone that they know he isn’t actually sleeping with would throw them in a tizzy though, after all their whole identity is based on denying that’s a thing that’s possible... poor things, baby’s first cognitive dissonance! It can really make you question things huh, and that’s always rough.

But they’re not the only ones with things to say about Harry! Superstar of stage and screen Mandy Patinkin posted video of himself and his wife getting four minutes’ worth of lightning round pop culture trivia questions wrong, but he nails one of em- asked what a Harry song (WS) is about, he remains silent. Well done, that’s just what Harry would have said! And Selma Hayek told a story about Harry coming to her house where her pet owl (who Harry was enthralled with and wanted to hang out with him) regurgitated an owl pellet in his hair! LOL poor Harry; naturally she said he handled it very well and was very sweet. Yes, it’s possible Harry’s interactions with her were because she’s in Marvel’s Eternals; it’s also possible he was at her house because her husband is the head of the company that owns Gucci, or for some other reason entirely.

Liam’s Lonely Bug NFTs went on sale today!! Liam was excited and happy and all over the internet posting and chatting and watching it all happen. The auctions are still open for most of them so final news on that tomorrow! Today was just Liam being hype about it- “Fandom is working its magic thank you!” he said when his request to get LB trending got it up there worldwide in like half an hour, he said more interactive content will be added to the NFTs as time goes on, that Louis cooking was “very funny”, when asked to describe his NFT collection in one word he chose “liberating,” and his hair guy reposted comments Liam has been making in the discord talking about maybe going blond with a “hmmm”. Oooh? He did a long live talking about everything, patching in the other Lonely Bug creators and quite a few other NFT people (enough that at one point Liam jokes that there are enough of them to dress up as the band to satisfy commenters asking for 1D stuff). Anyway one of them compares this NFT to ‘the original Nirvana recordings’ hmmm I mean… that is another thing that is rare I guess yes, but that’s very specific and random sir? “I know for some of you this NFT world is slightly different than what you’re used to from me,” said Liam, “but your support so far has been amazing (as always!)”

And not only that- another new Liam song coming?! We haven’t even got the one yet! (or maybe this is the same one..?) Anyway, school pal S-X (Liam hyped his music a couple weeks ago) talked about him in an interview, saying "Liam is a good friend of mine and we've got stuff coming soon. I don't want to say too much as you know how those One Direction fans get [HEYYYY… oh wait yeah he’s totally right]- when I mention him I can't even open my Twitter. But we've got a song coming and it's a smash. It's sooner than you think and that's all I can say." OH RILLY?? INTERESTING! I was just eyeing him for the artist showcase Liam said he was gonna do on veeps but OKAY! He also said "We're both from Wolverhampton and I was in college with him at the same time, and going from that to global stardom at 17 is not normal for any person. To have toured the world, done stadium tours and everything, he is one of the most famous people in the world. So he will go through scrutiny from the media and whatever, but I can tell you he is one of the nicest people, one of the most genuine people I've ever met. He's a real good friend of mine."

And speaking of unexpected songs; another Zayn demo leak was posted! This time he’s singing You with Ellie Goulding; the song ended up being released by Troye Sivan.

And Anne Marie posted “rehearsals for #OURSONG live! I just love this song so much. I also miss your face @niallhoran” with a picture of them singing away; apparently she’s referring to the recording of the acoustic version which is out on Friday. Niall posted a picture of the Danish football player who collapsed during play the other day giving a thumbs up from the hospital; indeed it is very good to see that he’s all right.

[jikookuntold]

What happened to Jikook in May 2015?

“How Jikook Started?” “Jikook and significance of May” “Jungkook and his Song Recommendations” were all the titles I thought about for this post and I ended up with the one you see. But what made me write this? A few days ago I came across an old tweet of JK from May 2015. This tweet was a song recommendation which I hadn’t notice before because I was only focused on 123 theory and as we all know this theory starts from October 2015 and I thought maybe we should pay more attention to the other songs JK recommended either. So I decided to go deeper and when I checked the tweets from May to August 2015 some interesting theories came to my mind.

Jikookers believe Jikook’s relationship changed in INU era and for proof of this theory they discuss some moments (long stares, exchanging jackets, etc.) but I’ve never seen them paying attention to the songs JK recommended in this era. It’s obvious that not all the songs he listens, likes or recommends are about romantic aspects of his life. On the other hand, musicians listen to any kind of song and this helps them for their career so not everything has to have a secret message or meaning, but no one can ignore the fact that when you feel connected to some lyrics and it captures your emotions you tend to share it with others so they can understand your feelings. This is more relatable for introverted people, an introverted person with artistic features uses different forms of art to express their feelings and JK is one of them.

JK’s song recommendation tweets started at the end of 2014 with “Lee Yerin -Your Universe” on December 24th and continued with “Misty Miller - Best Friend” on February 22th, and two songs on March 9th“King Krule - Baby Blue” and “Years & Years – Memo”. This declaration was necessary for this post but I’m not going to analyze these songs here. These songs are very significant (especially the last one from an openly gay artist with very expressing lyrics) and they need their own post.

After “Years & Years – Memo” JK didn’t recommend any song until May 24th. It’s interesting how there is a pattern for dates of his song recommendation tweets, it’s like he spams Twitter for a week and then deletes the app for months. Even his tweets in general, follow this pattern and most introverts can relate because sometimes we feel like expressing ourselves on social media, and some days we avoid it at any cost.

So, what happened in May 2015? Why Jikookers think this period is significant in Jikook history? Jikook had some obvious moments in INU era, JK seemed to be enchanted by Jimin and Jimin had became quieter and more preserved but still captivated by cute maknae. The most notable moment from this era happened on May 5th at Sukira Radio Interview where the MC asked about Jimin’s love for JK and Jimin answered: “There is something about him I don’t like but he is cute”. JK’s reaction to this answer is remarkable especially when Tae almost exposed them by saying “I think he kinda likes men” about Jimin and Jimin didn’t deny it.

A week later, on May 13th BTS went to Kota Kinabalu to film the Summer Package and Jikook filmed a log together before coming back to Korea. A few weeks later on June 5th when they were in Malaysia for Red Bullet Concert, they asked JK in an interview to describe Jimin "Jimin hyung is such a nice guy. His personality is just too nice. And he keeps giving me nice food. And when he smiles, his eyes are so pretty. He's the most charming guy on the team. If I were a girl I would date a guy like Jimin hyung." He answered. Fun Fact: They didn’t ask him who he wanted to date if he were a girl, but yet JK managed to state this anyway. They had asked this question from the members since their debut but JK never had chosen any member for someone who wants to date, and this moment was a turning point in JK’s attitude especially toward Jimin, even Jimin himself was shocked by JK’s answer. This fact directs us to the main question: What did happen in May 2015?

How was JK feeling at this point? Did something change in him? We can’t give a precise answer because we don’t know his emotions unless he shares them with us. As I said earlier, sharing music is a good way to express emotions. With recommending a song you can share your feelings without being too obvious (and get away with it because they are not your words, duh?) JK didn’t recommend any song after March 9th for two and a half months and finally, on May 24th he felt to share music and became active again. But three days before this date, Jimin had shared a song, surprisingly.

We know it’s not very common for Jimin to recommend a song especially in the style Namjoon and JK do, but on May 21st he recommended a newly released song named Pretty Bae by Lee Hyun and Park Bo Ram, here are the lyrics translations:

They say I’m pretty these days that I’m like a woman

They ask me, do you even have any flaws?

They say I look good these days, my friends tell me

Is there anyone out there like me?

I walk on this street while humming

I feel good today for some reason

I wanna date someone pretty

A person with a pretty heart rather than a pretty face

I wanna date someone nice

A person with a warm heart rather than a good body

Had a cup of coffee on the weekend, watched a movie I wanted to see

It’s all good but what’s missing?

A person to laugh at my boring stories

Where is that person?

I walk on this street while humming

I feel good today for some reason

I wanna date someone pretty

A person with a pretty heart rather than a pretty face

I wanna date someone nice

A person with a warm heart rather than a good body

He’s not handsome but nice-looking

She has no makeup but she shines

Is he looking at me?

What if she catches me? I pretend not to see

It feels good, should I go to her/him

And carefully start a conversation?

I wanna date someone pretty

A person with a pretty heart rather than a pretty face

I wanna date someone nice

A person with a warm heart rather than a good body

I wanna have a pretty love

A person with a pretty heart rather than a pretty face

I wanna date someone nice

A pretty person, a nice person, I hope it’s you

As you see, the lyrics are about someone who is feeling pretty and wants to date a person with a good and warm heart but he/she secretly wants it to be him/her crush. Jimin’s timestamp is on the last part of the lyrics saying “A pretty person, a nice person, I hope it’s you”. And three days later JK posts a screenshot of a song from Kehlani (an openly pansexual artist) named “You should be here”. Here are the lyrics:

I'm looking right at you, but you're not there

I'm seeing right past you, but you seem well aware

Your body is here but your mind is somewhere else

So far gone and you think I can't tell

Can't tell that you are disconnected

You pulled away and I miss your presence

I always said to you

Baby, you should be here, right here

Baby, you should be here, right here

Don’t know where you went but you're lost now

Don’t know where you went but you're gone now

Don’t know where you went but you're lost now

Don’t know where you went but you're gone now

Head on your chest babe, but your heart is so quiet

We used to talk all night long, now we laying in silence

Your arms around me but your soul is somewhere else

Gone so long and I know you so well

I know that you are everything that I ever dreamed of

And hoped that love had a happy ending

Baby, you should be here, right here (yeah-yeah)

Baby, you should be here, right here (you should be here, right here, right here)

Don't know where you went but you're lost now

Don't know where you went but you're gone now

Don't know where you went but you're lost now (oh-whoa)

Don't know where you went but you're gone now

You should be here, right, right here yeah

The lyrics are talking about someone who the artist cares about and it feels like that person is physically present but his/her mind is somewhere else. He/she wants that person close, not just physically but also mentally and emotionally. A few hours later, JK recommends another song, this time a famous song (any Shrek lover know this by heart) I need some sleep by Eels: Here are the lyrics:

You can't go home like this

I try counting sheep

But there's one I always miss

Everyone says I'm getting down to low

Everyone says you just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

I need some sleep

Time to put the old horse down

I'm in too deep

And the wheels keep spinning round

Everyone says I'm getting down to low

Everyone says you just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

*Fun fact: This song was on Jimin’s playlist in 2017.

This song is about mental and emotional frustration and exhaustion, being deep into something, and seeking redemption. We can’t tell if JK is expressing this about himself or someone else since his timestamp is on the part saying “You can't go home like this”. But the song JK recommended the next day (May 25th) is another story and has a straightforward message. “Can’t help falling in love” is a hit song by Elvis but the track JK post is a cover of this song by Eels:

Wise men say only fools rush in

But I can't help falling in love with you

Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?

If I can't help falling in love with you?

Like a river flows, surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes. Some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life, too

For I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes. Some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life, too

For I can't help falling in love with you

For I can't help falling in love with you

The lyrics don’t need any explanation. His timestamp is on the part saying “If I can't help falling in love with you?” this part comes after the part “Would it be a sin” and makes it more remarkable. It’s obvious that there was something big going on with his emotions at this point and when you put these four songs together (one from Jimin and three from JK) you can see the roller coaster of feelings very clear. But the next day (May 26th) something interesting happened which relays my theory. Namjoon recommended a song named Pray from Younha and this was the thing he wrote in the caption of his tweet: “For all the broken-hearted” Sure this can be to anyone but two weeks later on Jun 10th JK recommended the same song without any caption. Here are the lyrics:  

When you are lost

I will shine a light

When your heart shakes because of the wind

I will hold your hand

I am praying for you

Praying that you will be protected

So that my hopes can reach you

The closed door is slowly opening

I hope you won’t cry over your scars

Or get trapped in despair with pain

With all my heart, I hope you will be comforted

Today, I’m praying again

I am praying for you

Praying that you will be protected

The world has become harsh seas

For you, who has left for the voyage?

I hope you won’t cry over your scars

Or get trapped in despair with pain

With all my heart, I hope you will be comforted

Today, I’m praying again

When Namjoon literally recommended this song two weeks before, why JK had to do this again? Unless he had something to express through lyrics. As you see the lyrics are about pain, despair and getting emotional scars or as Namjoon captioned “something for broken-hearted people”. Two days later JK posted a video of himself walking and singing in the night, the song he was humming was from Yoon Jong Shin and here are the lyrics:

On January 13, which was especially cold, I first met her, who laughed a lot

She said she never spent a birthday with a boyfriend before

She liked shoes and bags and that was so cute

She said I looked sad from behind as she took a picture and smiled

On the sunny first day of April, I made her cry for the first time

After seeing her pretty eyes get puffy, I cried too

Every time we fought, we always used the word “break up”

We wouldn’t talk to each other for days, having a tense battle

Would she know that my heart raced every time I went to pick her up?

I have never met anyone who was better than her in my life

On June 17, she was struggling and broke up with me

In the end, I gave her a scar, although I didn’t mean to

A month passed, a year passed and still, there are times when I miss her

Whenever I pass by that street in Ichon-dong, it’s still clear like it was yesterday

The park at night, the hamburger store, the rice bowl store in the basement

There is so much emotion in this lyrics and you have to be really in love and broken-hearted to hum this song in the dark let alone filming and posting the video. After that JK didn’t recommend any song for two weeks and he came back on June 27th with another straightforward message. A song named Love Me Again by G.Soul and here are the lyrics translation:

It’s already been a few years

And we’re standing in front of each other like this

As if nothing happened

Just like the old days

As I look at you

Who is calling me a good friend?

I tried to hold it in

But I need to tell you something

I know I hurt you but

Could u love me again?

Without knowing, I’m in love with you again

So could u love me again?

I didn’t know love back then

Baby love me again

Baby please please please

Need u love me again?

It’s already 3am

We’re both getting a little drunk

As if it’s nothing, you talk about your new boyfriend

As I look at you

Who is calling me a good friend?

I can’t hold it in

And I have to tell you something

I know I hurt you but

Could u love me again?

Without knowing, I’m in love with you again

So could u love me again?

I didn’t know love back then

Baby love me again

Baby please please, please

Need u love me again?

Oh please believe me girl

This time, I’ll really

Love u harder

Oh baby one more time

Love me again

I know I hurt you but

Could u love me again?

Without knowing, I’m in love with you again

So could u love me again?

I didn’t know love back then

Baby love me again

Baby please please, please

Need u love me again?

Oh baby just please please, please

Could u love me again?

Again, love me again, again

Oh girl I need you to

Love me baby

Love me again

He wants that person to give him another chance and love him again. He confesses that he has hurt that person because he didn’t know love back then and doesn’t want to be “the good friend” that person sees him now. He wants that person’s love.  JK didn’t recommend any song after this for another two weeks and came back on July 10th with a song RapmonHyung has recommended to him: Tears by Le So Ra

Me in the mirror inside the cramped dark room…

The dismal face is quite ugly

Foolish like this, I’m left behind

But I still long for you.

Miserably left behind like this,

I just make unwelcome calls

It’s okay if you get mad at me

It’s okay if you make me cry

Just turn all your attention back to me

It’s okay, just say anything

It’s okay if you mock me

I’m like this only with you, oh my own.

Like a speck of dust in this cave-like room

I’m foolish and I’m left alone

I miss you again today before you miss me

I’m miserably left alone like this

And again I call you before you call me

It’s okay if you get mad at me

It’s okay if you make me cry

Just turn all your attention back to me

It’s okay, just say anything

It’s okay if you mock me

I’m like this only with you, oh my own.

In the mirror, I look so ugly

This song is about being left alone and rejected. His loved one is mad at him and doesn’t give the love and the attention he/she used to give before. Four days later he recommended another song named Romance by CHEEZE and here are the lyrics:

With a red balloon full of

Your deep flowery scent

You surround me in your

Lifeless hollow smile

All our warm memories together

Can’t melt my heart

That has been frozen over

By that cold stare of yours

Walking through the night, side by side

The faint silhouette of your back

Still haunt me as my sweetest nightmare

Like the strings of a puppeteer

Losing sleep over the cold half of the bed

As your wandering image gently crushes me down

Walking through the night, side by side

The faint silhouette of your back

Still haunt me as my sweetest nightmare

Like the strings of a puppeteer

Walking through the night, side by side

The faint silhouette of your back

Still haunt me as my sweetest nightmare

Like the strings of a puppeteer

This is another song about someone who used to be warm and loving but now has a cold stare with no emotion. In my theories, this emotional conflict started in May and ended in August. Why August and how it ended? In August 18th Japan fan-meeting Jimin fainted and apparently this had a big impact on Jikook’s relationship. The day after, when Jimin came back on the stage JK did a beautiful interaction with him. Two days later JK did a live stream and sang a song named I will give it all to you. Three days later Namjoon posted screenshot of this song with the caption “Jeon Jungkook OST”. Here are the lyrics:

I have something for you

I have something to say tonight

I will give it all to you

My love that's about to burst

There's nothing I can't do for you

After picking the stars, I'll fill your hands

I have something for you

I have something to give you tonight

There's nothing I can't do for you

After picking the stars, I'll fill your hands

I will give it all to you

My love that is about to explode

The lyrics are talking of a beautiful love about to burst and the lover is ready to sacrifice and do anything for him/her love even if it’s bringing the stars in the sky and hand it to his/her lover. 12 hours later Jimin tweeted something suspicious: “The stars in the sky (musical note emoji) (surprised emoji)”. This tweet has no media and the caption has no hashtag except Jimin. It seems like someone had brought the stars in the sky for Jimin and it has something to do with music either. I wonder who it would be…

Conclusion

I tried so hard to not express my theories and leave the conclusion to you but some facts are undeniable especially when you put them together with the events and moments that happened in that period. I (rightfully) believe that the chronology of the events is extremely important and it can tell you more than just a surface without reading too much of it. If you don’t like theories or you have your own theories just don’t read this part because I don’t want to change anyone’s mind:

We all know about Jimin’s affection for JK in their debut years. I don’t think that was something fake or exaggerated, he really adored JK and wanted his attention (maybe he was aware of their mutual crush, I don’t know) but he could never imagine this turning into something serious. But it did and JK was the one who noticed this first and took action but he got rejected and became broken-hearted. This rejection was the result of fear, fear of an unknown future. Jimin’s love for JK was still strong but he had to reject JK to stop things from getting worse and out of hand. But in JK’s eyes, everything was different. He wanted him back, he was missing Jimin’s affection because he had found out that he is in love, the thing he didn’t know beforehand (I think memory of the rainy day has happened at this era, or maybe I’m wrong) After weeks of emotional conflict, finally they were at the same page and they were ready to make their relationship work. JK assured Jimin about his love and it seemed like a happily ever after but little did they know about their future and fate.

[mellometal]

ATTENTION: This is some recent information about the current events with Chris Chan that I've been able to find, plus additional information that I couldn't find anything on that is now public knowledge.

ALL videos about any updates will be linked so you can watch them for yourself, if you wish.

Again, OBLIGATORY trigger warning: This post will be going into very sensitive subject matter, including r@p3, s3xual assault, elder abuse, and inc3st. I will also be mentioning the site Kîwî F@rm$ and the person who runs it (Null). DON'T go onto Kîwî F@rm$. Just stay away from there. It's like 4chan (another site full of REALLY fucked up shit, depending on which forum you go to), but worse.

If anything I mentioned is triggering for you or makes you otherwise uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. It's not worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. Take care of yourself, please. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

ALRIGHTY, LET'S GET TO IT. Because there's quite a lot of bullshit that happened since the first post I made about the current events. And some more information that will most likely be the nail in the coffin for Chris. I'm patiently waiting for more updates as they come and I'll share them here as soon as possible.

The person Chris was in a call with was revealed to be a troll under the name "Bella". The screenshots of messages and the audio from the call have all been confirmed to be real.

It's also been revealed that Chris confided in Null about her having a girlfriend, having s3x with her, all that. Here's a list of things to describe this "girlfriend" below, which I will compare to Barbara in bold:

This woman is "in her over fifties". (Barbara is eighty years old. Most people would assume that someone's in their late fifties when this terminology is used. Eighty is well over fifty.)

Her favorite person was the late Adam West in the 60s, as it was "for her son back then". (I don't know if Chris is referring to her half-brother Cole Smithey [he does movie reviews, and he's most famous for being one of the only people to give Toy Story 3 a negative review] here, or if she's referring to herself before she came out as trans. I'm adding this here anyway.)

Chris has known this woman "for a long time", offline and in-person. (OBVIOUSLY she's known Barbara her whole life, since she's, AGAIN, HER MOTHER! DUH.)

They've been having s3x "every three nights". (Like how Chris admitted to doing to her defenseless mother. PRETTY FUCKING FISHY, IF YOU ASK ME.)

They began having s3x on June 27th. (The same day that Chris admitted to doing to Barbara.)

This woman was an accountant when she was younger. (Barbara's job was EXACTLY this.)

Chris said she feels grateful to "enlighten" her girlfriend with s3x play that she (the woman) "missed from even her exes". (I didn't mention this in my initial post, but if you chose to watch the videos that were linked, Chris mentioned that Barbara's boyfriends and ex-husbands "have never been able to make her 0rg@$m" like Chris did. SHE EVEN MENTIONED HER LATE FATHER. THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING AND DISRESPECTFUL.)

Chris has been "keeping her girlfriend safe" too. (She had been "taking care of Barbara" since Bob, her late father, passed away. This right here is proof alone that she was talking about HER MOM!)

Her girlfriend "didn't want to do it at first", it was "very painful" for Chris's girlfriend in the beginning, and it took a few tries for them "to get going". This included Chris doing it FOR her because she thought her girlfriend would "feel better" due to her lack of mobility and lucidity. (Chris said all of this exact stuff TO "BELLA" during their call.)

Null initially thought that Chris was lying about sleeping with her mother to cover up the fact that she had a girlfriend and having s3x with her. Why? Because apparently people would believe Chris would have s3x with her mother than some other unknown woman. Chris told Null to keep her girlfriend's identity secret because she was afraid her girlfriend would get trolled and she'd end up losing her.

What Null realized was that what Chris told him completely matched the description of Barbara. Note that before he looked into this, he was unaware of the context Chris was giving him about her "girlfriend".

It's extremely possible now that Chris admitted to s3xually assaulting Barbara to Null and "Bella", but she wanted Null to keep it confidential. Chris wanted NULL to keep the fact that she admitted to committing a VERY serious crime A SECRET.

If Chris WAS actually lying, she'd use a lot more CWCisms (her own phrases) or say that she was "using her psychic powers" to have s3x with Barbara's fictional counterpart in another dimension. But no, Chris was VERY straightforward and talked about it casually like if you were to talk about the weather.

Chris, according to Null, slept in a parking lot in her car the other night. At least for a few hours, though I don't remember where the FUCK else she slept (maybe a hotel room eventually), considering she had -$200 in her bank account. I believe some people who are in contact with Chris sent her some money to get food too.

Null revealed that he set up a GoFundMe previously for Chris to attend a Brony convention, which was a test to see how Chris would be able to handle commissions. The GFM was successful, to say the least. Chris fulfilled commissions successfully, DESPITE NOT WORKING ON THE FUCKING COMIC. Y'KNOW, THE THING SHE'S PAID FOR ON PATREON TO DO!

Well, due to recent events, he has since taken down the GFM and is refunding all the money to all the donors. He was debating on sending Chris money (the GFM money, since Chris isn't able to go to the Brony convention), but he decided not to do so. He told Chris to sleep in her car, spend the night under the stars, and reflect on her current situation until the morning, when Null would help her find a temporary roof over her head until August 5th.

Barbara tightly manages Chris's finances. Those are Null's words, not mine. You want to know why Barbara's been having trouble with the house and shit? CHRIS HAS BEEN STEALING MONEY FROM HER FOR YEARS. HER CREDIT IS ALL SORTS OF FUCKED, SHE'S BURIED IN DEBT, AND IT'S CHRIS'S FAULT. THE PERSON WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING CARE OF HER.

How did we find out about Chris recently getting more money, specifically $750? Well, Null has had access to Chris's emails for the past few years (Chris knows this), and he found an email that Barbara had sent Chris money.

That's a violation of the EPO (Emergency Protective Order) that was put into affect for Barbara. Chris was NOT supposed to contact Barbara in ANY way, shape or form.

Null asked Chris about this and told her that this was a violation of the EPO. He asked her if her mom sent her money. Chris denied it at first, and then went into the whole goddess bullshit she goes into. She then admitted to accessing Barbara's banking account online and wiring the $750 to HER account. Chris also said that she'd pay her back the $750 after receiving the $1000 that Null was supposed to send to Chris. Null was obviously upset with what Chris had done. Who wouldn't be?

Guess what Null did in reaction to what Chris told him? HE BLOCKED CHRIS AND REPORTED HER TO THE POLICE. I'm honestly surprised he stuck with her this long. He genuinely wanted to see Chris become a better person.

It's only a matter of time for Chris's arrest. With all this information that's out there now, more information probably coming very soon, plus people close to Chris confirming all of this....I feel it's safe for me to say that Chris did s3xually assault her mother.

I don't feel bad for Chris anymore. I have no sympathy for Chris. Any ounce of respect for this person has been long since gone. I don't feel comfortable even referring to Chris as a person. She's a monster.

I talked about Chris a few times a few years ago on Instagram, and I got yelled at for tearing this motherfucker apart. Because apparently I was an "ableist bully" for having my grievances with Chris, despite the fact that I'm autistic too and I've never "bullied" Chris for being autistic. Not even once. My grievances had more to do with Chris using her mother and their animals to exploit them for her own monetary gain INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FIND A JOB. I've even tried to suggest that she go work through a temporary work industry and get paid daily. (At that time, I didn't know that trying to interact with Chris wasn't a very good idea. I've since learned, obviously.)

Here's a link to Gibi's video:

Dillon Thomas's video:

The stream with Null:

Geno Samuel's stream:

Here's Rogue's video and live stream he did about the situation. Rogue is one of my FAVORITE YouTubers, as edgy as his content is.:

Thank you for your time.

[garc-i-a]

Could This Be Julie and the Phantoms?

To preface this, I am Queer Eye trash. That show is built to get you in your feels. Anyway, I follow all the Fab 5 on Instagram. So if anyone follows them, they know that all five frequently post. I happened to be on my homepage on the app when I saw a post from Tan France about his Netflix show Next in Fashion.

For the ones who don’t know about the show, it is a fashion competition in a similar vain to Project Runway. Tan France cohosted the sole season when it came out on 29 January 2020. It was a 10 episode show with each episode being an hour and a half long. It was okay as it had a shoe string budget and Tan and his cohost could be cringy time from time. The show was officially cancelled in June 2020.

Now back to what I was saying before, Tan posted about it earlier. He was celebrating the fact they had a season 2 and Gigi Hadid as his cohost replacing the former, Alexa Chung. I was confused as I was not sure if it was true. After looking it up, Next in Fashion confirmed a season 2 on their official Instagram page.

As I said before it had been swiftly canceled only months into the global pandemic. And the official Instagram for the show had not posted anything since March 2020.

I still wanted to be sure and a reputable media source confirmed that it really was back for another season.

Now how does this relate to our beloved ghost show, you ask? Next in Fashion came out like two months before the world went to hell. And it was not a hit. It was decent.

Yet despite this, it got a second season with a better cohost for Tan who works in the high fashion world. And they have just started filming for the new season only 2 or 3 days ago.

To sum this up, Next in Fashion had a renewal announced just over two years since it initially aired and about a year and a half since the official cancellation by Netflix.

Julie and the Phantoms has done WAY better than Next in Fashion in critical and audience reception. Not only that but all of the awards it has won and it’s truly global reach. I mean we have the THIRD con dedicated to it that will be happening in January 2023 in Brazil. That shows how powerful it is that it has inspired such a strong following.

Julie and the Phantoms originally came out on 10 September 2020. And Kenny announced Netflix cancelled it on 18 December 2021. When I spoke with Madison in our meeting at the con, she said that Netflix saw how popular the show was and was extending everyone’s contracts every six months but then Netflix went silent on them in September of 2021.

If the same pattern is followed as Next in Fashion, Julie and the Phantoms could be renewed by September of this year. There have been some of us that believe that it could be renewed for a season 2 after Madison is 18 in 32 days. The reason is that Madison will no longer be restricted to certain working hours and can film along with the boys. She also will not have the same stigma acting opposite Charlie with their characters being love interests.

This is just a theory, but I am a hopeful crackhead for our band and everyone involved with JATP. 🤪

[airi-p4]

Miraculous escape - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

I wasn’t planning to post this yet, but it’s Lukadrien June and today prompt is ‘escape’ and, even if it’s only Lukadrien friendship (bc it’s Lukanette & Adrigami endgame), it fit so well that I couldn’t stop myself from posting this. Chapter 1 and the final chapter have been finished for months, but I don’t know when I’m going to continue with the rest... 

This fic is based / inspired by Marilyn Monroe’s ‘Some like it hot’ film.

Thank you @alittleshycat for the header and wanted posters pic! ( I hope you’re doing well... I miss you... 🥺💙 )

Thank you @brickercupmasterx3​ for proofreading! 💙

Summary:

Luka helps Adrien escape from his prison-like house and his strict father but Gabriel Agreste is not planning to let them go away easily. They become fugitives and ask Juleka for help, who offers them a very unconventional escape plan: joining a girl band/orchestra to flee the country.

Easier said than done, especially when they find something unexpected in that band: the two most beautiful women they've ever seen.

Warning: includes art

AO3

_________________________

Chapter 1: Fugitives

"My father is going to kill me."

"Your father is going to kill us."

One carrying a guitar on his back, and the other a piano keyboard case on his hand, two musicians were being chased by multiple cars around Paris. Turning corners, going up and downstairs, hiding behind trash containers and cars, the chase seemed far from an end anytime soon. Panting for air, the pair continued running after they turned the corner, just in time not to be seen-  a close call. The loud sirens never seemed to stop, coming from all directions.

"I can't believe I finally escaped from home!", the young blond man exclaimed excitedly. "Thanks, Luka. I wouldn't have made it without your help. You're a real friend."

"Don't mention it, Adrien. That's what friends are for, right?", the blue haired man laughed and patted his back. "It would have been perfect if we hadn't broken half of your father's statue collection while escaping your bodyguards, though. Now he's gonna kill us for sure. We can't let them catch us!"

"We need to run away from Paris. And fast! My father is the devil itself! You don't want to know..."

"I don't!"

Jumping down a wall, and turning another corner, the two friends hid in the back of a funeral car and waited until the police sirens got further away. They had been scolded for being disrespectful with the dead, but it was worth it: they were safe- at least for now.

"We need to leave the city and find a place to stay. Knowing your father, he must have all stations, roads and airports under his control." Luka said, stopping Adrien from crossing the street to firstly check their surroundings.

"How are we going to do it? Our car became 'inoperative' during the chase and our friends and family must be monitored!"

Adrien's panic made Luka grab his shoulders to reassure him of their plans.

"No, look. They know you, but they don't know much about me. Not many people know I have a sister who lives here, in Paris."

"You do?"

"Yes. We need to make it to her apartment and then we’ll figure out how to proceed. Are you ready to run again?"

"More than ready. I'm excited!" Adrien grinned back at Luka, feeling an adrenaline rush.

"Let's go!"

__________________

When Juleka opened the door of her apartment, she wasn't expecting to meet her dumbass older brother and Adrien Agreste, the young man who had been on the news non-stop for the last two hours. She raised one eyebrow and Luka knew she was looking for a reason not to shut the door on their faces.

"Juleka! We need your help! We have to get out of the city. Could you lend us your car?"

"What the heck is wrong with you!? It's been two years and that's all you have to say? What kind of trouble are you involved in now? This flower boy has been in the news for hours! They are even offering a reward for whoever finds him! And one for you! A dead or alive one in your case! They're saying you kidnapped him! So you better have a good explanation or I'm kicking you out."

"I do, I do! Listen: remember dad? I know you were little, but do you remember what being trapped is? That's this man's, Adrien's, everyday life for you. I couldn't bear to see my friend like that anymore so I offered to help him escape" Juleka's eyebrow sank deeper towards her nose, meaning Luka knew that wasn't good news. "I had to help him get his freedom! Can you believe he has never had a burger? Or been to a drive through? He can't even drive a car! He literally crashed my car at a streetlight after mistaking the gas and brake pedals! Have some compassion and help us escape Paris. Please?" he finished, pleadingly.

Juleka's eyes moved to analyze Adrien before answering: blond rich guy, well dressed and innocent looking. The way he was trying to figure out her front door and how his green eyes curiously examined his surroundings made him look like a playful cat, and Juleka had no doubt that he was as dumb, or probably dumber, than her older brother. Which meant Jukeka wanted them out, but also that she couldn't refuse to help- otherwise they would surely not make it out alive.

"Fine. What do you need?" She resigned.

"A car or anything that takes us away from Paris! No, better! Out of the country!"

Adrien was still examining Juleka's old and untidy room when she noticed his eyes paused on a paper on the table. She knew that paper: a girl band/orchestra called "Miraculous" was looking to recruit experienced musicians to perform around Italy for three weeks. Suddenly, she knew what to do.

"Join that girl band, the one in the pamphlet", Juleka suggested, pointing at said paper.

"What? A girl band? We're men, Jules! We can't join a girl band!"

"Luka is right!" Adrien quickly agreed.

"No, it can be done. I'm good with makeup and I'm tall enough for my clothes to fit Adrien. We can use some of Mom's clothes for you. ‘Old style’. Oh, and I have some wigs too.” Juleka continued. "Can this blondie play any instrument?"

"Well, yes. He's a pianist," Luka answered.

"Perfect! I'll find a way for you to cover for the pianist and the guitarist of the band: Chloe and Lila. Nobody likes them anyway, and the band members probably don't even remember their faces well, since they joined recently. Nobody will miss them. And it's perfect that you're blond, just like Chloe. I have the perfect wig for you"

Juleka disappeared for a few minutes and came back with a pair of scissors, two wigs and a box of makeup- oh, and wax. The two male friends could feel cold sweat down their backs.

"Wow, you have such a pretty face!" Juleka exclaimed, taking a closer look at Adrien's facial features. "I'll cut your bangs a bit so they don't show under your wig. Luka: do yourself a favor and go shave meanwhile."

"Are you serious about this, Jules?" Luka asked, moving towards the bathroom sink.

"Of course I am", she glared confidently at him. "Do you want to flee the country or not? I'm getting you out, but you need to trust me."

"Is this really necessary…?" Adrien asked in a trembling voice, seeing how Juleka's scissors were close to his eyes as she was cutting his long bangs.

"It definitely is! The band orchestra is leaving midday tomorrow and we have a lot to do!" Juleka ordered. "I can't wait to wax those hairy legs of yours" she murmured. Adrien could only gasp in fear.

When Juleka finished, she was proud of her results. The disguises were perfect: a long blond wig on Adrien, tied as a long braid, his big green eyes standing out with the mascara on his lashes, and he had pink colored cheeks and cherry lips. His face and hair were perfectly complemented by a white dress to his knees and a short jacket over his shoulders, covering his strong forearms. He also used some pads to simulate not very large breasts. The final touch was a pair of elegant high-heels with diamond looking glass studs on them. He looked beautiful, prettier than many women. So pretty the Couffaine siblings blushed a little at the sight.

As for Luka… well, he was tall, big and manly, and with sharp features: definitely not easy to pass him as a woman. But Juleka was almost a professional and she did an incredible job. He had his hair cut short so his blue hair didn't show under the long dark haired wig - good for covering his wide muscular back. He was advised to wear a hat and sunglasses most of the time, but he was also wearing lots of makeup. Using a full palette of skin tones, Juleka managed to hide his strong jawline and make his cheekbones, chin and nose look smaller and rounder. He wore black eyeshadow and mascara, brownish red lipstick and natural blush. He looked like an unfeminine lady but that could pass as genetics, right? People would maybe look away, but they would understand. As for his clothes: he wore a long wide purple dress tied with a belt and some brown pirate-like high boots (the only ones that would fit him because they belonged to himself). The bottom half of his outfit was complemented by a grey knit poncho. His fake breasts were bigger than Adrien's and he wore a wine red scarf to cover his neck- especially his pronounced adam's apple. He looked… pretty good, considering the base product. And that alone was an amazing accomplishment.

"You're perfect. Ready to go. I've packed a pair of party dresses too. You'll need them for your performances" Juleka said, admiring her amazing work. "Oh, and just so you know. I'm also part of the band, so I'm coming too."

Later that night, just before sunrise, Juleka sneaked to Chloe and Lila's apartment to steal their accreditations and sent them fake cards about the train being delayed so they wouldn't appear at the last moment and ruin everything. Juleka smirked victoriously for having at last taken her revenge on the two women she hated the most.

___________________________________________

After nervously passing the first frontier of the train station- the ticket man, Luka and Adrien, who were disguised as women, moved towards the platform, happy for not having been recognized after the first control. Adrien had trouble walking in heels, so Luka lent him his arm to help him keep his balance.

"Remember: your name is Chloe now, and my name is Lila", Luka reminded his friend as they walked towards the train platform.

"I don't like those names", Adrien complained.

"I don't like them either, but it’s better that we don't stand out". Luka sighed.

Grabbing their baggage and instruments, the two men approached the train car written on the ticket. They were stopped before they could get on the train- just next to one of their 'wanted' posters. The two men didn't notice it, but Juleka did and rushed them to get on the train fast.

"Hey, who are you?" Asked a middle aged woman, the one in charge of the band, they assumed. "I've never seen you before. Are you new?"

"I- I'm Adri- My name is Noirette”, Adrien said, receiving equally surprised and annoyed glares from both Luka and Juleka. Before Luka could speak, Adrien continued. “And she's Lucia. We're the new pianist and guitarist of the band".

‘What. the. heck?’ Luka couldn’t believe his friend as he stared at him in annoyance and shock. His high pitched voice acting was hurting Luka's ears too. 'We're dead', he thought.

The middle aged woman showed orchestra at Adrien’s words: she clearly didn’t like last minute changes. Scanning them under her glasses, she questioned them again. "What happened to Miss Chloe Bourgeois and Miss Lila Rossi?"

While the two men were taking too much to come up with an excuse, Juleka, who was sick of their bad acting, stepped into the conversation.

"The talent agency sent them somewhere else. These two are here to fill in for them."

Still unconvinced, she raised her glasses. "Hmmm... you know them, Juleka?"

"They come from the same talent agency as me", Luka’s sister confidently said.

"Hmmm... that should be enough then..." It seemed like she was convinced at last and the two men could finally breathe. “I'm the band's director. You can call me Madam Mendeleiev. And that man over there is Mister Damocles, the manager. You can introduce yourselves later. Go to your seats now.” Before they could take a first step, the middle aged woman stopped them again and called for someone. "Yves! Come here and carry these ladies’ instruments to the train! Be useful for once!"

Luka and Adrien exchanged looks when a young blond man approached them quickly. "Yes, Madam!" He shouted, approaching the disguised men to get their instruments. He stopped in front of them, intensely staring at Luka’s pupils before trying to complete his job.

"Oh. Hello, there. XY at your service! Can I help you, beautiful? Fancy a drink sometime?" He raised his eyebrows twice, shamelessly flirting.

Luka's face went white in disgust. Juleka's chuckle and Adrien's big eyes made him snap out of it.

"Oh, Just carry this, thank you!" Luka answered, annoyed, as he shoved his and Adrien’s instruments and suitcases into XY’s arms, making the blond man lose balance from the pile of weight on his arms. “And take good care of them because they’re… fragile”

"A- As you wish, beauti- Ah!…" He stumbled, losing his balance and almost falling down. “But later that drink-”

"Yves!! Stop the crap and do your job!" Mendeleiev scolded him.

"Yes, Madam!" He straightened his back. "See you around", he winked at Luka before leaving, having trouble walking properly. The guitarist could feel shivers all over his body, while Juleka snorted, having real trouble trying to hold her laugh in.

"C'mon, hurry up!" Juleka pressured them, adding in a whisper "you better not expose yourselves before leaving."

"Thank you for saving us, Juleka." Luka whispered to her ear while getting on the train.

"You better stop acting stupid if you don't want to get caught!" Her response showed her annoyance and the men gulped in response.

The seats were arranged in pairs, so the two fugitives could sit together and relax a bit. They were also grateful for the lack of contact needed with the rest of the band.

The ‘Miraculous band’ was a dancing orchestra. Similar to a big band, but with vocals, a spectacular stage and completely fine for all ages to enjoy. In this case, its main particularity was how it was formed only by women. The band formation included: a rhythmic section (electric bass, electric guitar, drums and electronic piano), a wind section (saxophones, trumpets and trombones) and two singers. Many of the members were usually multi-disciplined in those bands, which meant they could play more than one instrument, just like Luka with the Lyre. Some of the side instruments were the violin, the flute, the maracas or the tambourine. Another particularity of these kinds of bands was the big range of styles in their repertoire: from rock and popular national or international hits to swings, waltz, salsa- anything that could be danced to.  

If it weren't for the all girls' rule, Adrien and Luka wouldn't have minded joining them for real. But they had something more important to think about now- running for their lives.

"Is everyone here?", Mendeleiev asked, standing at the train car passage.

"Marinette and Kagami are not here yet, Madam" A dark skinned, red haired lady pointed out.

"Those two again… if they weren't so talented and popular I would have fired them already!"

"There they come!' A small blond short-haired lady screamed, startling Juleka in the process. "Sorry! I didn't want to startle you. My name is Rose" she introduced herself.

"Juleka…" and that's all she could say as she lost herself in that petit woman's eyes.

"What do you play?", the little woman innocently asked. "I play the trombone!"

"The electric bass…" she answered, hiding her blush. ‘Cute, sweet and with lungs of steel?’ Juleka gulped. ‘I’m screwed’.

"Finally!" Madam Mendeleiev said, as the ladies arrived, panting from their run there. "You're late! Go to your seats quickly!"

The two ladies who got in the train, bowed their heads in apology for their tardiness, as they walked to the empty seats of the back of the car. And when their faces looked up for a moment, it was the exact moment Adrien and Luka reached heaven. Their eyes couldn't stop staring at the most beautiful ladies they had ever seen, following them with their eyes and faces as they passed just beside them, moving to sit a few rows to the back. They couldn't take their eyes off them until Juleka called for their attention, warning for their discretion. But it was too late: the boys had lovestruck grins on their faces that didn't plan to go away anytime soon.

The two ladies had black hair and asian features. The short haired one was taller, had brown eyes and wore a beautiful white blazer with a red skirt. She looked elegant and confident, while the other woman looked cute, clumsy and innocent, and was shorter. She had blue eyes and dressed in a pink coat. Her hair was long and tied in two curly twin-tails. Their beauty stood out even more when they were together.

When the train started moving, Madam Mendeleiev gave the girl band some instructions- something Luka and Adrien would ask Juleka what it was about later. Later, Rose suggested an introduction game for the new members after the explanation had ended. The ladies excitedly agreed.

"I start!" said the same blond girl. "My name is Rose Lavillant and I play the trombone! I studied at a conservatoire in Paris for 3 years before joining this band recently. I like pink and unicorns and my favorite food is strawberry shortcake. Nice to meet you!"

After a round of applause, Rose signaled Juleka to continue, and she passively proceeded. "I'm Juleka. Bassist. Nice to meet you"

Next to continue was the red-haired woman from earlier, Alya, flautist and trumpeter; the drummer, Mylene; another trumpeter, Alix; and one of the saxophonists, Sabrina. It was Adrien's turn next.

"Hello!" He started, with his high-pitched voice. "My name is Ad-" he paused for a second at Juleka's deathly glare, gulping once before continuing. "My name is Noirette. I play the piano! I'm from Paris Classical School and I'm very pleased to meet you all!" He squealed, moving his arms along.

Adrien's excitement for freedom and new experiences was contagious to the rest of the ladies who energetically (almost hysterically) responded "Nice to meet you too, Noirette!".

It was Luka's turn next. He gulped, nervous, and with his fake high pitched voice and under Juleka's death stare, he started.

"Hi... My name is Lu- Lucia". 'I'm killing Adrien for giving me that name' he thought. "I play the guitar. Nice to meet you"

With their introductions over, Juleka finally relaxed. The rest of the ladies' introductions followed but, to be honest, neither Luka nor Adrien were listening: they were just patiently waiting to know more about the ladies that captivated their hearts. Their turn finally arrived, and the short haired one started:

"Hello. My name is Kagami. I sing and play the violin. I've been in the band for a few weeks. My favorite color is red and my favorite food is katsudon. Nice to meet you" a silence followed Kagami's introduction, so she called for her partner's attention with her elbow. "Marinette, your turn!"

"Oh-! Sorry… I was distracted… He-ello… My name is Ma- Ma- Marinette! I'm a singer but I can also play side instruments like the tambourine, the maracas or the castanets. I've been in this band for a few weeks and I studied in Paris Music School. My favorite color is pink and my favorite food is macarons. It's nice to meet you-", she ended with a nervous high-pitched voice.

Luka and Adrien exchanged excited lovestruck grins: the ladies' names and voices were just as beautiful as their faces. They were going to enjoy their outing with the band better than they could have expected.

______________________________

When the car got loud from the ladies chit-chat, Luka and Adrien found their moment of peace to share their thoughts.

“Luka, did you see that?” Adrien started, signaling at the end of the car, towards the singers of the band.

“Yes…I saw.” Luka answered, with a lovestruck grin on his face.

“That beautiful face…”, Adrien continued.

“Sweet voice…”, Luka added.

“Asian features…”, their mumbles continued.

“Dazzling eyes…”

“Dark shiny silky hair…”

The two men reacted at their exchanged words and looked at each other, surprised and nervous. Adrien gulped, worried.

“Wait- who are you talking about?”

“Who are YOU talking about?” Luka threw his question back at him, slightly aggressively.

“That girl, Kagami, of course!” Adrien exclaimed as if it was the most obvious response.

“Oh, that's good. I was talking about Marinette.” Luka sighed and showed him a relieved smile.

“Oh...” Adrien blinked, sighing and smiling in relief too. “I'm glad we weren't talking about the same girl. I wouldn't have liked to steal a girl from you.”

“What makes you think I wouldn't win her over you?”, Luka confidently grinned.

“Oh- anyway- It's better this way.”

The two men laughed together, trying not to be too loud for their manly voices to destroy their cover-ups.

“Will you help me with Kagami?” Adrien asked his friend.

“Only if you help me with Marinette.” said Luka, offering him a handshake he excitedly returned.

“Count on it, my friend!”