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#it’s not my fault that I’m fucking anxious
moonkhao · 1 month
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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vulpinesaint · 3 months
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i sit with my saint sebastian medallion clutched in my hand like a lifeline because i’m normal
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shima-draws · 5 months
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MANNNN my anxiety won’t QUIT. Send me some asks perhaps 🤲
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fissions-chips · 1 year
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ahhhhhh
tooth hurty
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lesbiansanemi · 6 months
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And when I thought things were finally fine and had calmed down my roommate starts sending me shelters because he wants me to get rid of my cat 🙃🙃🙃
#‘she’s peeing on my stuff 😡’#listen I get that that sucks#but also…. we had a system in place that got her stop#I get putting cat spikes on the couches was mildly annoying but guess what#she wasn’t pissing on them anymore#and tell your bf to stop leaving your bedroom door open if you don’t want her to piss on your bed#like ?????#I know he’s stopped doing these things because the bf finds them mildly inconveniencing#sorry I’m not getting rid of my cat that I’ve had for almost four years and who got rehomed TWICE before I got her#because you have to put in a tiiiiiny bit of effort#‘she pissed on my shoes 😡’#she has literally never peed on shoes before I guarantee you it’s because I left for a weekend and she’s anxious#fucking calm down#you could also just not leave your shoes by the door#he already rehomed our rats because he found them annoying which I feel bad about#I didn’t fight him much on that one because they were more his than mine so if he wanted to make that decision whatever#but hell no I’m not taking my cat to a fucking SHELTER fuck you#‘she drives me insane tho’#okay well your fucking boyfriend drives me insane and you’re not seeing me demand you take him to a fucking shelter so lol#GOD this is not what I wanna deal with when I get home#and it’s just pissing me off cuz I get it’s annoying#but we’d gotten her to stop mostly and now it’s started again because of things 🙃🙃 the fucking bf is doing 🙃🙃#so like this is your own fault and you’re expecting me to get rid of my baby because your bf can’t be assed to slightly alter#how he likes to live which is apparently being allergic to just keeping the bedroom door closed#jfc#kaz rambles
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taintandviolent · 2 years
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I am going through it right now. :(
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ceruleanmage · 2 years
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im gonna cry i think
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darksideofmythougts · 4 months
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genuinely so tired of this shit.
#it’s always the same shit. I give a warning that I’m hard to love and then when I prove to be hard to love they act like I never warned them#it’s like a sick joke#I put up with the anxious attachment styles of everyone in my life and give reassurances and give clarifications and have tough convos#but the SECOND that I start to show signs that I’m dealing with fallout from my disorganized attachment I am villianized#and this rant isn’t meant to excuse my own behaviors! I fucking know I suck in relationships. I know this.#I have been preaching a mantra of being alone for years because I don’t want to hurt anyone! I am a poison and I always have been#and it’s not fair to expect anyone to love me or even try to love me#so why did I even put myself back into this situation#where my faults are being highlighted and I’m being reminded that I will literally never be given the grace to try and grow into love#like am I at fault for pushing and pulling so much in my relationships? kind of yes#but also I am unaware of the currents that are dragging me in and out until I’m being swept up in them!#for fucks sake I’m just a person. I’m just a deeply traumatized and fucked up person and my trauma makes me the villain in every story#I’m so sick of it. I’m so sick of being sick. no matter how hard I try to heal from this shit it just keeps coming back stronger#it’s in my veins like a bad drug and I want to throw up#I just want to be alone forever. this is all too tedious for me. hurting people hurts me and I can’t stop myself from hurting people#so I should just be alone like I planned#fuck#attachment issues#disorganized attachment
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sadieshavingsex · 1 year
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I hate seeing things about how we should be self aware and listen to our hearts because that advice just triggers the voice of my ~conscience~ (aka my demeaning know it all inner critic) which says “well you know what’s really best for you is to break up with your bf and you’ve been a fool to think that all this time the outcome would be different you know what you have to do just be strong and stop being a fucking coward and break up it’s never going to work out and you know you need to break up to reach your full potential you’re so stupid for staying with him this long you know you can’t reconcile your differences and your heart needs something else and you have no integrity and you can’t even listen to yourself and love yourself enough to do this” blah blah blah forever and ever god I hate that voice Jesus
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sapphire-writes · 4 months
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the winner takes it all
Art x Reader x Tashi
summary: winners deserve rewards, and Tashi is more than happy to spoil her star athlete with the help of her ever-dutiful husband.
word count: 2.7k
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rating: mature/explicit/18+
warnings: porn no plot (deep breath) m/f/f dynamic, threesome, dom!Tashi, switch!Art, sub!Reader, p in v, creampie, overstim, hair pulling, titty play, use of toys, praise, teasing, spanking, orgasm denial, oral (fem receiving), oral (reader giving fem), face sitting
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note: hope you enjoy! my first non-HOTD related fic!
link to other stories from me!
To be notified when I post something new, be sure to follow @sapphire-writes-updates & turn notifications on 💙
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Your match had taken place several hours ago. You’d been anxious the entire time, but ended up winning, much to you and your coach’s pleasure. The ride back to the hotel was torturous, as well as the following mandatory ice bath, sauna, shower, and footage review. It was the routine you’d followed ever since Tashi began coaching you.
She was nothing if not thorough.
After tying up several loose ends, including Tashi grilling you for every point you missed, every fault she could see when she paused the footage, you now found yourself in a more pleasurable position. 
Art held your legs open as he continued his even thrusts, cock sliding against the walls of your pussy at a torturous pace. Tashi sat beside you, clad only in a silk robe and lace panties, brushing some hair from your face that was sticking to your forehead with perspiration.
You had the suite to yourself for the night. Tashi and Art’s little girl was safely tucked away with her grandmother in another elegant suite on the other side of the hotel. Another part of the routine. 
“Tash….”
“You did well out there today,” she interrupts, reaching beside her to the end table drawer and pulling out her Hitachi wand. It buzzes to life as she turns it on and a strangled whine leaves your throat as she presses it to your clit,  “See what happens when you put in the extra time? That backhand of yours is a lethal weapon now.”
“Fuck!” is the only response you’re able to give as Art moans at the vibrations as he continues to pound into you. 
She likes you best like this, fucked dumb on Art’s cock, mindlessly agreeing to her plans for future matches, eyes rolling back in your head. Different moves she’ll have you practice. How hard she plans to work you on the court the following morning. 
“Come on, come for me,��� Tashi insists, hand trailing over your breasts, “What’s my girl need to come, hm? Need these pretty tits attended to?” She pinches your nipple for emphasis and your jaw slacks, a pleasurable current in your gut winding tighter and tighter with the continuous stimulation.
Art slings your left leg over his shoulder, pressing a tender kiss to your calf as he does so. 
The new angle sends him deeper inside of you and you clench, mouth falling open with an uncontrollable moan.
“That’s it,” Tashi murmurs, eyes never leaving your face, “Feels so good doesn’t it? Art knows how to treat his girl, huh? Don’t you baby?”
“Yes,” he hissed between clenched teeth, beads of sweat forming on his brow, “Fucking perfect pussy, god—”
Tashi removes her hand from your breast, taking hold of your chin.
“Look at me.”
Your eyes water with pleasurable tears but you do as she asks, always keen to follow her instructions. The tennis court, the bedroom, it was all the same playing field in the end.
“Come on baby,” she murmurs, leaning down and pressing a kiss against your lips, “Come for me, you’ve been such a good girl, you deserve it.”
“Fuck!” Art courses as your pussy tightens around him, “Oh uhhh—”
“I’m cumming,” you helplessly whimper, the words nearly a sob, “Tashi…..fuck….Art fuck feels so—-“ your abdominal muscles tense as your reach your peak, white-hot ecstasy flooding your body as a shudder rolls through you. 
Tashi smiles as you come, fingers dancing down your neck. Art fucks you through it, leaning forward to pound into you at a harder rhythm, chasing his imminent release. It’s only then Tashi glances at him, her smile dropping slightly.
“Don’t cum.”
Art’s hips stutter as your walls continue to flutter around his thick length, his jaw slacks, eyes watering as he looks at his wife.
“Tash—”
“I said no,” she insists, shutting off the vibrator and throwing it to the side. Leaning forward, she captures your lips in a kiss. She sits up, a smile on her face as she kisses Art as well. He whimpers against her lips, hard and pulsating inside you still. But Tashi never changes her mind.
“You want to come, you should try winning.” 
“Tash please,” Art’s voice was strained, Adam’s apple bobbing, his expression pained, “please let me come.”
“Yeah?” She taunts moving up to kiss him. She brings her lips close to his, his eyes fluttering shut as she barely brushes the soft pout of her mouth against his. His lips part, head tilting to chase her. 
You watch from below them, still trying to slow your breathing. You like watching them dance, this push and pull they have. It’s hypnotizing, the effect she has on him. On you. Tashi pushes his chest and his eyes flutter open.
“Sit.” 
Tashi nods to the chair in the corner of the room. Art hesitates and she raises a brow when he doesn’t move quickly enough. Teeth clenched, Art unsheathes his aching cock from your warmth, hissing as he pulls completely out. Your breath hitches at the loss of him, and you gaze up at Tashi waiting for her next instruction. 
Fully naked, Art walks to the chair, cock hard and swinging between his legs as though he’s nothing more than a scolded pup. 
Tashi stands walking over to him, and Art tilts his chin to meet her eyes. Slowly, she lets the silk robe fall from her shoulders, and she takes her time removing it and placing it on his lap. You can see his erection through the soft purple fabric. 
“Hold that for me, would you?” she asks, turning back to face you.
You can’t help it as your gaze falls to her breasts; supple and mouth-watering, dark nipples taunting you. The dip of flesh between her abdominal muscles, a spot you’ve run your tongue along countless times now. Tashi rejoins you on the bed, lying next to you, looping her thumbs in the waistband of her lace panties. 
“You want a taste, baby?” she asks, smiling slightly at you.
You nod eagerly as she beckons you with a tilt of her chin. Scrambling into a kneeling position you slot yourself between Tashi’s toned legs, replacing her fingers and gently pulling off her lace panties, tossing them to the side and revealing her glistening sex.
Two things turn Tashi on. Telling you and Art what to do, and tennis.
Tashi brings her hand down her front tracing down her toned stomach until she reaches the soft curls that frame her pussy. She takes two fingers and spreads herself before you. 
“Come on, baby,” she murmurs, her voice low and seductive, “Eat up.”
She’s an enchantress, you swear, using some sort of siren song to pull you in. Even here between her legs, she’s in charge; it’s you who’s helpless. You lower your face toward her pussy, already drunk on the scent of her even before your tongue reaches her warm slit. 
You couldn’t hold in your moan of pleasured relief even if you tried as your tongue dipped lower, parting her lips and dipping inside her right entrance. There’s something about her, how she feels, how she tastes. You’ll never get enough of it. You nuzzle closer to her, nose bumping against her clit and she rewards you with a breathy sigh. 
“Art,” she calls as you eagerly continue lavishing her pussy with attention, “How’s the view?”
“Fucking breathtaking,” he answered, his voice strangled, “Tashi please….”
“She’s so good,” Tashi praises, nails taking against your scalp sending pleasurable tingles down your spine, “Put that pretty mouth of yours where it counts. Show me how badly you want it.” 
Your tummy flutters with excitement and you suction your lips around Tashi’s clit, sucking the sensitive button as you hear Art stand up. 
“Put that ass up,” Tashi instructs you, her voice airy, nearly breathless. You arch your back, leaning forward into her as Art’s hands cup the front of your thighs. 
You wiggle as he kneels behind you, his breath on your pussy before his lips meet your pussy. You moan against Tashi’s cunt as Art trails his hands up your thighs, spreading your cheeks wider as he feasts on you, tongue dipping inside of you and then up to circle your clit. 
“I’ll make you a deal baby,” Tashi purrs, back arching off the bed slightly as your tongue circles her pearl, “If you make her finish before I do, I’ll let you come.”
Art groans against you, finishing with a frustrated whine as Tashi chuckles. You glance up at her, drinking in the blissed-out expression on her face, that sly smirk that reaches her eyes. 
“Deal?”
Art doesn’t hesitate, he simply redoubles his efforts, tongue entering you with desperate precision. Your lips falter, the pleasure messing with your coordination as Art ups the ante. You feel him pull away from you, and hear the wet pop of his fingers entering his mouth and leaving just as quickly. Then he’s breaching you, fingers slipping inside you with ease from the continued attention following your first orgasm.
“Oh fuck,” you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut as Art fingers you. He sets a rough pace, placing his opposite hand on your asscheek and squeezing the soft flesh. 
The two fingers he has plunged inside you to the knuckle curl perfectly against your spongy walls, hitting that sweet spot inside you every time he curls his fingers. 
“Come on,” Art murmurs, slapping your ass, “I know you want to come again.”
“Yes she does,” Tashi agrees, unable to help herself. 
“Greedy girl, never satisfied with just one, huh?” Art teases and Tashi chuckles at his efforts. Art never speaks to her like that, only you. Tashi prefers the more dominant role over both you and her husband.
Still eager to please her you sloppily continue eating her out, lost in the sensation of Art's fingers in your pussy, Tashi’s fingers in your hair—
“Come on baby,” Art encourages, though there’s a hint of desperation in his tone. He wants to come just as badly as you do.
“Such a messy girl,” Tashi coos, propping herself on her elbows, “Oh but so so good. I’m getting close…”
Art slaps your ass again, curling his fingers against your g-spot, and it’s no use. Your jaw slacks and your head lolls against the softness of Tashi’s inner thigh as your walls clench around Art’s fingers, your release barreling through you like a freight train. It knocks the air from your lungs, a desperate cry leaving you as Art makes a noise of triumph. 
“So you are capable of winning,” Tashi snaps, a little too cold to be simply a bedroom taunt. Art stares at her, before she sits up, “I haven’t come yet.”
“Let me,” you murmur, looking up at her, still lying on her thigh. She smiles down at you, stroking your cheek.
“You’re a sweet girl,” she praises, “But Art won. I think he deserves to finish in that sweet little pussy of yours. Would you like that?”
“Tash…I can’t,” you whimper, still sensitive and tingly from your previous orgasms, “I can’t come again.”
Her smile fades back to that familiar smirk. She glances at Art, nodding at the bed. Cock still standing at attention Art joins you both, lying on his back. Tashi’s hand winds its way in your hair, tugging you not so gently from your resting place. You follow her lead like a puppet on a string. 
“Don’t be ungrateful,” she accuses, pushing you towards Art’s lap, “This is a reward. You deserve this.”
Art’s cock pokes at the soft plush of your inner thighs as you straddle him. His hands move automatically towards your hips, rough thumbs brushing against you leaving goosebumps in their wake. 
He looks at you with wide, watery eyes, blonde hair a tousled mess.
“One more?” he asks, and you know at that moment if you tapped out, he’d respect it. Art was never one to make you feel uncomfortable in any way, shape, or form. 
He rubs your hips again, a soothing motion, and you lean into his touch. Something deep inside you tightens with want. You need him. You need her. You inhale a shaky breath and lift your hips, lining the swollen head of his cock with your entrance. Sinking onto him slowly like this is something else. The way he stretches your insides as you come to rest against him is a feeling you’ll never get used to. 
“Good girl.”
Art’s head falls back against the pillows and then Tashi pulls them from underneath him. Her husband knows immediately what she’s after and tilts his head back as she climbs onto his face. 
Tashi sits on her husband’s face as though it’s her throne. As though he was made for her and no one else. 
She pulls you closer as you lazily begin to ride Art. Lips crashing against yours she kisses you passionately, rolling her hips at the pace you began. Soon you find your rhythm, moving in sync together as Art moans beneath you, happy to pleasure both his girls at once. Tashi’s hand finds your hair again and she tugs your head back, latching her lips against your neck.
She’s fond of leaving marks. Art is hers through their marriage, but she likes to remind you that you belong to her as well. 
Art bucks his hips up into you, the head of his cock nudging perfectly against your sweet spot, just as his fingers had moments before. A whine leaves your lips and Tashi laughs against your neck. 
“He’s good at that, yeah?” she murmurs, placing soft kisses up your neck and returning to your lips, “Good with his cock, good with his…his tongue.” Her eyes squeeze shut in ecstasy as Art does something you can only imagine.
He moans again, fingers digging into your hips hard enough to bruise as he decides the pace you’ve set simply isn’t enough. Art’s hands dip below the curve of your ass right where it meets your thighs, lifting you with ease up and down on his cock. He meets you halfway, thrusting up into you as he slams you up and down. 
Your whines increase in volume, turning into elongated moans swallowed by Tashi’s kiss. You can feel her nipples pressing against your own and you reach out to caress them. Tashi gyrates her hips on Art’s face and his pace becomes more frantic as he plants both feet on the mattress fucking up into you harder, faster, deeper.
“I—” 
Words are lost to you as your mind goes fuzzy; that familiar pressure in your gut builds, a wave of pleasure cresting deep within you. Tashi’s mouth captures yours once more as she snakes a hand down your front, nimble fingers circling your clit giving you just what you need to reach your end. Again.
With that the rubber band in your belly snaps and you come with a startled cry, pleasured tears leaking from the corner of your eyes as you clench around Art’s thick cock. His hips falter only for a moment as he chases his own release, and soon you feel his cock twitch within your warm walls, his spend blooming inside of you.
Tashi smiles proudly as you and Art ride out your highs, the pair of you moaning, limbs jerking from the exertion. Everything’s a game to her. And she always wins. 
“Just like that,” she murmurs, hips still swirling around Art’s face, “Oh god I’m—” 
You watch as her thighs tense, her head dips and her eyes squeeze shut as her orgasm crashes over her at last. 
Carefully you ease Art’s softening cock from within you and lay between the both of them. Tashi on your left, Art on your right. You’re facing Tashi, watching as she comes down from her high, feeling Art’s chest press against your back.
It’s quiet for a moment, the soft sound of a kiss being pressed to your shoulder the only noise in the room. Art snakes a hand around your waist, fingers brushing the soft skin of your tummy. You giggle slightly at the ticklish sensation which causes him to bite down gently on your shoulder. Tashi simply watches, wetting her lips. 
“On the courts at five tomorrow,” she says, before standing, “I’ll run us a bath.”
Art sighs and you can’t help but agree with his subtle frustration. Back to business.
“Whatever you say, coach.”
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likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated but never expected 🩵
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burnthybread · 1 year
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hey guys
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insanechayne · 1 year
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~ ~ ~
#having a time of things lately#in my own stupid anxious head all the time because all my thoughts are a tornado basically#I just feel full of nervous chaotic energy a lot of the time and no way to burn it off#and I still can’t get him out of my fucking head ever#can’t even be my normal self because I’m so constantly thinking about him and it’s kind of driving me crazy#reasonably the way to break this would probably be to not talk to him for a while#but I simply could not handle that#he’s basically my best friend and the only person I talk to every single day or really care much about#and when we don’t get to talk I just feel like I’m going feral#and there’s so much distance between us now in so many ways#and it’s not like I don’t understand why it has to be this way because I do#but I’m struggling so much with that and it’s ridiculous#I feel like a bad friend for wanting things back the way they were before when he’s dealing with so much more#and I feel like a bitch for feeling like it’s my fault or being so needy or anything really#I’m trying to put the pieces together to figure out why I’m having such a hard time not being normal around him#and I think most of it is because I never really received positive attention in any way my entire life#and then suddenly he comes into my life and everything is different#he flirted with me first and initiated talking about other things first#all before I even knew what he looked like#but my icon is just me so obviously he must have liked me right from the beginning#and no one else has ever really liked me that way ever#and then unfortunately he’s a fucking 10 so that doesn’t make this any easier for me#things just got built up between us so much that no having to completely cool down is like taking a punch to the chest#which is so dumb isn’t it#because he’s always going to be my friend no matter what#friends first#but we were kind of more too and it was all I had and now I don’t even have that anymore#and in reality this isn’t about me but I just have to be selfish don’t I#how do I talk through any of this with him without being a horrible person?#personal
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teruthecreator · 1 year
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i shouldn’t have come i think
#in neg city#first breakdown of the weekend! likely more to come#i’m just so uncomfortable and anxious i don’t wanna be here i feel like everyone hates me or is mad at me#and i’m just gonna make the celebration worse by being here#my mom tried confronting me in the car and she was like ‘i didn’t do anything wrong idk why ur not talking to me’#which is clearly like. she’s done no self reflection in the two weeks i haven’t spoken to her#hasn’t thought at all about how much her words hurt and how little she seems to care#and now my sisters mad at me bc i forgot to get my dad a gift when she asked but like i only agreed to do it bc she#literally said she was too busy to. and she was telling me last night if i didn’t wanna do it i should’ve told her#BUT HOW IS SHE EXPECTING ME TO LIKE. SAY TO HER FACE NO BRIANNA I KNOW U JUST SAID UR TOO BUSY TO DO IT BUT I WONT HELP YOU#LIKE THAT WOULDVE ENDED UP AN ARGUMENT ANYWAY!!!! IT WAS A LOSE LOSE SITUATION#BC WHAT THE FUCK DO U EVEN GET MY DAD ANYMORE HE DOESNT DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!#and like i get it i forgot it’s my fault but now i feel like i can’t talk to her and she hates me and i messed everything up#they’re having like a little party for him over at her place and she hasn’t texted me abt what time it starts at all and i’m not going to#ask. honestly i feel like if i go over there i might throw up#i just. i really dont feel i should’ve come. i wanna go home i don’t feel safe i don’t feel comfortable
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peachesofteal · 10 months
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Light On - single mom/neighbors fic Simon Riley/female reader Prompt: Your apartment floods. Inspired by and for @liliumbosniacum
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"I need to take leave."
Simon's phone is pressed against his face, one hand holding the device, the other with a canvas bag in his hand, it's contents overflowing: blankets, baby clothes, your pillow.
"Everything alright?" Price sounds suspicious, but more curious than anything, and Simon sighs.
"Neighbor's flat flooded. She's got nowhere else to go so I'm letting 'em stay with me for a while." Price, thank fucking god, doesn't push it any further, disconnecting with a rumble about checking in with him next week, wishing him a happy holiday, and a parting good luck.
When he hangs up, you're standing hesitantly in his doorway, pile of clothes in your arms.
"That the last of it?" He asks, and you nod.
"Are y-you sure this is okay?" You're still upset, shaken, and he doesn't blame you. You were terrified when you woke up to bone chilling, ankle deep water, frantically shouting about a burst pipe into the phone over Emmaline's shrieks.
"It's okay, sweetheart. I've got plenty of room." He does. His flat is larger than yours, and though they're both two bedroom floor plans, his bedrooms are bigger, and he has two bathrooms, compared to your one. "I got the crib reassembled in the guest room." He motions to the door that's half opened, a few bags of Emmaline's stuff collected on the floor.
"Thank you." you murmur, and then step forward, burying your face in his chest. He holds you there, rubbing your back, working his thumb into the knot that sits at the base of your neck. “At least we saved the tree,” you laugh, wet and sad, and he hums, bowing to press his lips to your forehead.
“I’m sorry love.”
“It’s alright.” You shrug. “Nothing I could control.” You’ve got a point there, and he appreciates the approach, marvels at your ability to not be angry or frustrated with your neighbor, even though it wasn’t really their fault as well. He’s irritated for both of you, anxious over visualizing what would have happened if the chunk of the ceiling that fell was misplaced and landed on you, or Emma.
You pull away, face twisted up into something that looks painful, tears on your lash line, and he frowns. “Hey, hey. It’s okay, sweetheart, c’mon. It’s alright.”
“I know.” You cry, clamping your hand over the bridge of your nose and trying to turn away. “It’s just all her gifts we-were in my room and now they’re ruined, and-“
“Okay, so we’ll get more. We still have plenty of time.” He reassures, rubbing his palms up and down your arms until you come back to him, letting him fold you back into his embrace. “We’ll fix it. Don’t worry.”
“We will?” You sniffle, and he nods.
“I’m on leave, until after the holiday, so I’ll be around, we can go shopping and replace everything. It’s going to be alright. I promise.” That word slips out of him again, promise. I promise, just like he told you this morning when you were frantic and he said it was okay that you stayed with him, I promise, just like he assured last night when you apologized for Emmaline crying for most the evening. “Okay?” His chin rests on the top of your head, and he turns to kiss you, the touch as soft as he can manage. You hum, and then sigh into him.
“Okay Simon.”
“I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No.” His refusal is immediate, and you look at him in near exasperation.
“Simon I can’t kick you out of your bed! You’re too big for the couch, anyway, and I don’t mind, I’ve slept on a couch plenty. Plus I’ll be able to hear better, when Emmaline wakes-“
“Sweetheart.” You’re in the living room, bouncing Emmaline in your arms, walking back and forth in front of the fireplace. She’s wearing a red and white striped onesie, like a candy cane, and Simon chuckles when she makes grabby hands at him as he approaches. You sigh, and he tucks his hands under her, lifting her away and into his arms, pleased at how you instantly relax and stretch your back and shoulders in response. “Think you’re getting too big for mama, baby girl.” You roll your eyes, playfully knocking your elbow into his side, and he grunts. “You’re not kicking me out of my own bed.”
“No?” You turn with a hand on your hip, other one holding a half full bottle.
“No, well. I mean-“ he falters, suddenly losing his confidence. “I’m happy to let you have it, or…” He can’t get the words right, can’t communicate what it is he wants to tell you, too worried about scaring you off or being too forward, pushing you too far.
“Or?” You look so pretty, standing in his flat, your belongings, Emma’s, strewn about, just your presence alone making this place feel more like a home than it ever has before. He feels dizzy, overflowing with emotion when Emma lays her head down on his chest, and you smile at her, looking back up at him, delicate, sweet smile on your lips. He bends, tilting your face upwards to meet his, lips ghosting against one another as Emma coos from his arms.
“Or… we can share it.”
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lemuseeinvisible · 2 years
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Today was my last day of school before my one week break but I can’t seem to be happy
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tobyneedssleep · 2 years
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Isn’t it a little bit funny that everyday I’m not on the bird app the more I realize how toxic most of it was.
Like not to say that there weren’t good parts or people, and not to say that this is perfect either, but especially in the previous fandom I was in, there was way too much pressure to agree with/ disagree with things because if you wouldn’t there was a fear of being doxxed.
Like what the fuck. Hello?
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