#it’s nothing it’s just me being emotional at 3 am

[desi-girll]

TW: don't read if you don't want to know about self harm, but again, this is a positive post because it's about recovery, so nothing very explicit... but again, please don't read if you might get triggered <3

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Dear diary 🧸,

so, today is a big day for me. and when i say big, i mean it in a really really proud way.

because

today, 17th September 2024, marks one year of me being clean from self harm ♡

and i feel like the credit for this one goes entirely to me. last year and before that, my mental health was a shitshow. i was in a toxic friend group, very very insecure of my body, and thought that maybe I'm doomed to be be "ugly" girl. then, of course, the pressure of being a 11th grade science student. i'm sure most of the ones who have been, can relate? parents not understanding, marks not upto our expectations, exams, assignments and what not. so much pressure. but maybe it was just me who couldn't deal with the pressure and got more addicted to something I'd already been doing for 2 years prior to that.

on september 17th, 2023, getting a 4 out of 30 in physics? let's cut again, in the bathroom. believe me, i was addicted to the feel of the sharp compass needle against my skin. to this day, although healed, i still regret the feel of the scars on my thighs. i wish i hadn't ruined God's gift like that. i really do. but maybe it'll go away with time.

so, anyways, on that day suddenly i decided i don't wanna be like this anymore. i wanna heal myself and my relationship with my body. so i just kinda stopped. and trust me, it wasn't easy. so many times, i just randomly started thinking about how good it used to feel, sometimes my emotions were so strong that it was really hard to not start again but now i know how to restrain myself. i know a little bit of self control.

moreover, what really helped in boosting my self esteem was working out. i never that the solution to a positive body image for me maybe to move around and yknow, exercise a lil. and now, what motivates me the most is when i hear compliments from the same people who used to pass comments about my body before. i actually love my body now, or am trying my best to, because unlike one year prior, i'm really fucking fit and healthy now <3

so yes, that's the story and i hope this 1 year can progress to 2, then 3, then 4 and then slowly be a thing i struggled with, in my teenage years but then taught myself a way out of it.

for those of yall out there, struggling with any kind of self destructive behavior, be safe please. i promise you, there are so many ways to heal and recovery is one hundred percent possible ♡

love,

me

[lunarharp]

played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles

[becca-e-barnes]

Becca the way I ran over here is insane I have to share this with you. Dbf ceo Bucky tying his tie around your throat pulling it back as he rails into from behind on his desk while he calls you his favorite cock warmer.

Wtf that’s so hot 🙃 like a really frantic, filthy, desperate quickie over his desk because you just couldn’t help yourselves and he needs a little relief

Maybe he’s had a long day and it's really taken it out of him. Some days just don't go smoothly for him and you know to expect that but the second you see his face, you know it's been a rough one.

He looks tired. His frown lines seem a little deeper set than usual and his jaw is clenched but apart from that, it'd be hard to tell he's had a long day because he hides it well.

"Everything okay?" You keep your voice soft, encouraging him to relax and you notice his shoulders drop ever so slightly.

"Bad day." He confirms but it's impossible to miss how he seems to focus on the hem of your dress. Your dress stops just above your knees, leaving your legs exposed for him to appreciate and he doesn't say much more before doing exactly that.

As soon as you're settled on his desk, his hands are drifting up that bare skin, starting at your ankles, roaming confidently up the back of your bare legs. You know he needs this. He needs an outlet for all that frustration and a warmth settles in your stomach because even when he wants to be rough with you, he's still awfully considerate.

He kisses the insides of your knees, trailing the tip of his tongue gently up the inside of one of your thighs until he's able to place a chaste kiss to your clothed sex. He gasps softly, marvelling at how slick the thin lace is under his lips, knowing he's hardly even touched you and you're already desperate for him.

"Bend over the desk." He orders and while you follow his instructions, he unbuckles his belt and unzips his trousers before freeing his cock. "You're so fuckin' wet." He grunts, rubbing his stiffening length against the drenched fabric of your panties, giving himself a moment to admire your ass.

"You." He begins, loosening his tie before tugging it off, keeping the knot intact. "Are just a hole for me to fuck for the next hour. You got that?"

"Y-yes." You whimper, pressing yourself back on his cock, shame burning in your cheeks when he laughs at how pathetic you are.

"You're a fucking cocksleeve." Oh God, he needs this. Everything in him is screaming at him to bury his dick inside you and he can't ignore his need any longer. "I don't care if you get off on this. I don't give a shit if you cum." You know that's not true but believing this is just a rough, frantic fuck for his pleasure makes it even hotter somehow.

"Use me." You whine, gripping the edge of the desk. He pulls your soaked panties to the side, slipping the loop of the tie over your head, keeping a nice tension in the length of it as he slides slowly into you.

"Christ, you're tight." He grunts, tugging on the tie so the pressure on your neck makes you yelp. The first glide of his length into your body is always pure bliss for you but it's that little bit better when you pretend that he doesn't care.

"Stupid. Little. Cockslut." He offers sharp, shallow thrusts with each word and there's no stopping the way your eyes roll back. His tip nudges the soft, velvety spot inside you with each thrust and you know if he keeps that up, you're going to cum, whether he cares or not.

[petorahs]

me, gearing up to explain why the dragon prince's latest seasons have continued to disappoint me, that while i love the lore and worldbuilding and characters there are clear pacing issues that are so jarring it takes me out of the experience, and that i say all of this with great love for the series but there's only so much good concepts can do before animation has to catch up in order to retain the average viewer's attention. that although season 4 and 5 have been branded as "the mystery of aaravos" the titular character barely appears and that is a crime to me, that even if it's for the suspense and intentionally leaving the viewer/main characters in the dark it's not doing a good job at building up his character and i fear for the exposition dump that will inevitably happen later on. that i will be harsh in critiquing this series because i love it so much and want it to be the best it can be: *inhales*

also me the moment i actually finished the goddamn season:

[get-more-bald]

the biggest thing about X6 is not that he doesn't think of himself as human (though he doesn't, and according to some it's correct) BUT that he doesn't see himself as a Person

[derpinette]

i am something of a non-practicing cutter

[indecisive-dizzy]

Any ideas for Howdy and Eddie? They are my special little pookies and I love them

I’ve been obsessing over Howdy x Eddie, that ship is just so fun to me and I love them (Frank can be part of the ship too, Frank/Eddie/Howdy is lovely too :3)

hhhh I'm so sorry but I'm brainrotting over my disabled Eddie au sobbbs but I will Try dang it

But first! DISABLED EDDIE IS SO 😭😭😭✨✨

I'm going to bite Eddie Dear. I'm feral and Unwell.

To me it just makes soo much sense??? I have shit coordination/balance and my life is hell and I want to project so hard. It's representation and it gives me Delicious angst and hurt/comfort opportunities.

phew ok ok ok,, hcs,, howdy,, eddie,,, ok,, i got this

They both will, would, and have eaten an entire head of lettuce. Howdy makes sense, bc he eats lots of greens already. But Eddie? bbg is so sleep deprived it's the only thing he can think of to eat.

They're rivalry is a Bit. They are the only ones aware of this. Everyone else thinks Howdy genuinely has problem with Eddie in regards to business but it's all jest! A joke, a charade, a whole ass Bit! They find hilarious!

Eddie swears more than you think. He just keeps it professional when working. Howdy wishes he could record some of Eddie's more,,, creative cursing.

By contrast Howdy doesn't swear that much, he's so used to being surrounded by little siblings + other family that he just,, doesn't think about it? ofc he'll swear occasionally out of shock, exasperation, or anger. he can say fuck, he just doesn't think to! he doesn't have an issue with swearing, either.

Shipping stuff,, ok!

The Bromance turned Romance Pipeline is Real. It would take a while for the others to notice they even started dating lol bc they keep it 'professional' during work hours.

Physical affection is both their love language. Oh My Golly. They are never Not in contact with each other. Cuddles are top tier holy shittt

Eddie also writes love letters bc he's a sappy goof and words of affirmation is his other love language.

Howdy has never received a love letter before and Swooned when he read the first one. He keeps them all in a special box by his nightstand <3

Bringing Frank into the mix? Hoo boy they are not ready. They are. But also not. If it's not Eddie holding his hand it's Howdy's on his back. If it's not Eddie holding him by the waist it's Howdy literally picking him up for a kiss. Frank is overwhelmed with affection all the time /pos

A sprinkle of angst, Frank may get sad from time to time bc they feel almost,, out of place in the relationship. Eddie and Howdy are incredibly close and have known each other longer than they've both known Frank. This causes some self doubt.

However Eddie and Howdy are Quick to shoo the thoughts away! The reassure Frank and smother them in affection! All praise and loving words. How much they love him, how happy he makes them, just everything about Frank Frankly they adore.

Over time this doubt fades away, Frank becomes confident in themselves, their love, and their Loves!

Literally the best wedding ever. Eddie and Frank combined forces to keep Howdy from turning it into one Big Advertisement lmao. It was great!

[early-october-skies]

Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

.

[stonersolana]

it's so fun when the people who took everything from you claim to be the real victims. like, y'all want to dump a years-long friendship in a dumpster fire just cause you're in a romantic relationship and that's the only thing that matters to you, go fucking ahead. but don't pretend to be the victim when you were the one who destroyed it.

you don't get to take literally everything from me and claim that you were the real victim when the only thing you didn't take was the skin off my bones.

[badolmen]

So funny how trauma will just kick you in the fucking teeth with the most random triggers.

[tvrningout]

being a perfectionist is exhausting and i just wanna become an actual rock rn unu i had a bit of a mood drop, but we're gonna try to bounce back and chip away at what we owe! maybe ramble a lil!

[pilotstreets]

god. not to be sad online. but im sad online

[fruitsilly]

I might have to take a break from Tumblr for a while

[neverendingford]

.

[babbyspinchh]

its surreal to read back on old chat messages by me when i had no real sense of self