#it’s the thing FUELING the angst

[unlimitedhearts]

“You’re not him.”

“You don’t need me to be him.”

[ghost-bxrd]

So , i recently read a fic called "across the sands" by lulurythmea and has a thought . its shown at some point in the fic that Talia had conditioned Jason into fiercely protecting Damian while he was still catatonic and she had instilled into him phrases like "i command you" and it got me thinking what if Damian got de aged to the age where he remembered Jason as "Ahki" his nanny and Talia had given him the phrases so hed know how to prompt Jason into action. Like im imagining he wakes up as a much younger kid and hes scared and sees Jason, the only one he recognises and just not knowing any better he says one of the phrases and Jasons conditioning just SLAMS into him and for the while hes not letting anyone get close to Damian. Maybe the spell wears off after a few days so there stuck with an overprotective jason who will throw them across the room if Damian gets scared . Sorry for the long ask.

I had a similar prompt a while ago where Jason is terrified of a similar scenario! (The Talia spite fic, iykyk ksksks)

So while it would be very cute for us (and everyone else at first) I think Jason would panic finding out about this. It’s basically like brainwashing, conditioning someone to the point where their actions are largely involuntary.

So the end effect would be similar, with Jason trying to keep as much distance from Damian (or anybody else who might be able to trigger that response) as possible, afraid of himself and whatever else might be hidden deep inside his consciousness :/

[swiftmitsu]

hey, did you know that Killer's brother is canonically still alive? he reset the timeline and was gonna delete himself so that the rest of the underground could live in peace, but then Nightmare was like "nuh uh", and Nightmare kidnapped him to make him join the gang.

and then- again, canonically -Killer's like "fym 'nuh uh'?" and then he's like "haha, L + ratio" when he runs off with Color-

-Snuff Anon

WHOA WAIT REALLY???

there’s. multiple canonical endings so UHHHH

IDKKK

it isn’t that i don’t believe you snuff anon BUT SOMEONE FACT CHECK BECAUSE I SWEAR

i’m too gullible and believe everything i read

[bbnibini]

Watching Frieren and seeing the parallels between her and Solomon made me realise Solomon's whole shctick of holding himself back, hiding his true feelings beneath thinly-veiled jests and facades is a consequence of the timelessness of his immortality.

He can be honest, affectionate and supportive concerning MC/you, but when your own world starts to involve himself, he finds himself scrambling back to his old ways---he has to. He needs to, because loneliness and immortality had been the only constant in his life; and including himself in your own world, knowing your fleetingness would make the parting all the more painful.

He couldn't measure time anymore. He's lived so long, the precious time he will spend with you in your short human life would feel like seconds to him, and would be something he can never take back no matter how long he would stay in a dream just like in OG Hard Mode.

So for him, it would be better not to get used to it at all. To exclude himself and watch you from afar, somehow contenting himself with just being a brief part of your existence no matter how much he wanted to be the meaning of yours as well.

[theredcuyo]

I headcanon that post-royal Akechi wrote a million letters for Akira yet, never sent them

A million of words trying to explain himself, to where he was, or why he wasn't around

A million words of whatever the hell they had, and the occasional honest ones that longed for his presence, even if it were just his coffee or the way he barely talked yet had the best conversations

Maybe he wrote them during rehab, maybe in his new apartment in who knows where, maybe on his days off of working with the anti-shadow unit, maybe when he wants to take his mind of a case...

And maybe in a place beyond all that, one where he can only wait for time to bring them together again

[harbingersecho]

RVBtober 8+9 > fall + revelation "You know, sometimes, when somebody falls off a cliff in movies, he's actually just over the edge, hanging on a tree branch or something." "Nope. He's definitely dead."

... and he is. presumably.

(also if you ever decide to try and make a 2-page comic in 2 days even if half of it is just a paintover. don't do that. that's the devil talking)

[pkmoth]

having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself

[jacketpotatoo]

Hey @thehomelybadger , thank you for breaking my heart

[arolesbianism]

Some very lazy concept doodles for my swap au Wendy

[sylvies-kablooie]

my opinion on babies is that they aren't for me personally but damn, they make good plot devices. like what do you mean these character's relationships created and/or sustain a living thing. and it screams. that's some heavy-handed symbolism!!!!!

[kingofdinosaurs]

preempting this by saying i don't think it's wrong to like yosuke or whatever like idgaf your life is your own. however i do think it's a little telling that a lot of yosuke's homophobic behaviour towards kanji is like. framed within the fanbase as like a tragic thing for yosuke about how much it sucks that he's closeted and can't be honest with himself. which like fine i don't disagree but it feels really telling that kanji is often treated like an afterthought in his own mistreatment

[im-obsess-with-pixel-characters]

I'm having a vision rn.

If Travis had died in WAF no one on the street would have known until the others return, which sad to think because gosh, imagine the cast that had to see it openly speak again of the incident

Them having like to tell the other two (Laurance, Dante) would go differently

Laurance wasn't the closes to Travis but he was still his friend

Dante on the other hand?

Oh honey, it's gonna be faaar more then what it's worth,

Dante is the one who had stuck around Travis the most known him most and even having some moments with him from time to time, and just hearing aphmau say "he isn't here anymore.." when Dante asked where Travis was, made him want to cry and cuz he didn't even get to say goodbye.

Fun fact the scenario also go perfectly with the song "My Love Mine All Mine" by mitski

[pigeon-noises]

Some Not Entirely Canon Xiaos  Past!Xiao and Bird!Xiao

[symbioticsimplicity]

Billy lives AU where Billy was also taken by the Russians after Starcourt.

He managed to live by the akin of his teeth. Part of his consciousness ripped off a chunk from the mindflayer, just a small bit, just enough to keep his body alive when it shouldn’t be. His injuries healed, slowly, but more interestingly (at least to the Russians) his body adapted to the chemicals the mindflayer had forced it to consume.

They try to study those effects, as well as the effects having part of a hive mind trapped inside of a foreign body. Physically Billy gained accelerated healing, an extreme tolerance for acids and most toxins, as well as a few psychic abilities that he has little to no control over.

These tests however render Billy all but feral. Billy who was already so accustomed to being abused and tormented, now with the subtle influence of the mindflayer still left (not enough to control him, just enough to constantly whisper to him, to tempt him).

He's their most difficult subject by far. He can't be approached without sedation, something they learned early on, but even sedation doesn't last long enough to be fully viable. He has caused more damage to their crew and other subjects than anything else and as a result they keep him isolated as often as possible.

When Joyce and Murray break Hop out, they find Billy too, although they don't immediately recognize him. (The physical effects of everything he's been through have changed him a little. His hands and mouth are black, with black veins visble on his neck and forearms, his head is buzzed, and not to mention the Hannibal Lector get up they keep him in. His eyes are the same though, and that's what Joyce recognizes)

Its Joyce's idea to take him with, and he's pretty well drugged up when they grab him so he doesn't fight the way he ordinarily would.

The problem is from there, once he perks up, he's viscous. He fights like his life is on the line, and he's much stronger than his half starved body would suggest he should be. He wings Murray and almost injures Joyce too, though she manages to stumble onto the one thing that jars him out of his frenzy enough to start talking him down.

She mentions Max.

Its like her name is a trigger word for him. He freezes entirely, mid swing. Joyce capitalizes on this and starts telling him anything she can think of about the girl to help calm him down. She tells him about her new skateboard, about the song she's had on repeat all summer, and even how much the girl has missed him.

That opens a huge crack in him, and he actually speaks for the first time since Starcourt. He whispers with absolutely heartbreaking disbelief, "She missed me?"

Joyce, her mom senses now throughly activated, assures him that she has, tells him that they're going back home, that they're willing to bring Billy with them if he promises not to hurt anyone. She shouldn't be promising this but all she sees is "Hurt kid who really needs some help".

He stops fighting, and agrees with a nod.

He doesn't speak for the rest of the journey, and he still can't be touched without triggering him so they're careful to avoid that. He also doesn't sleep or eat which Joyce finds incredibly worrying but can't do much about.

When they make it back, the group is waiting for them. They told Max ahead if time who they found there too, warned her that he wasn't quite the same, but she couldn’t give two shits honestly.

When he sees her, its like the light flips on in his eyes. She's so familiar to him, the one thing he'd been able to keep a hold of in his mind through all of this, that when he sees her he just breaks.

She's the only person who can touch him without triggering him and she uses that privilege to hold him while he shatters. She doesn't know what happened to him, none of them really do, but she’s determined to help him heal regardless. She feels like she wasted enough of their time before hating him for something she now knew all too well wasn't his doing.

Billy's recovery is rough and slow going. Physically he's doing far better than anyone in his position should be. They discover that he can still eat, just not....food. They tried that once and he got violently ill. The mindflayer permanently reworked his body to be able to digest toxic chemicals, and that's the only thing he can stomach. They try several before finding which ones he actually likes and which ones will feed him but he doesn’t really care for. (Draino, for instance is fine but it tastes weird, where as Pinesol? All day long.)

Mentally however he's a wreck.

He sleeps but only for an hour or two so its hard to miss. He's terrified that if he sleeps too long the mindflayer will find a foothold and take him over again. Plus he's so afraid of the nightmares. He hasn't had one, but he knows if he does, it'll be bad for every one.

He can't tolerate groups, or the smell of antiseptic, bright lights or temperatures too hot. Too cold sucks too but at least it doesn't cause him physical pain, just extra mental anguish. He's still incredibly touch averse, and will panic if restrained in any way.

Max ends up having to ask the group for help caring for him, because he's far too hurt for her to handle on her own.

Joyce has a little leeway with Billy since she kept her promise and brought him back home, back to Max. She's also a gentle motherly presence, which is something he's been starved for long before the Russians. He's still wary, but he'll let her help more often than not.

El, also becomes part of the recovery squad. She understands uniquely what its like to have been a test subject, and to have part of the upside-down living inside. She is familiar enough to him to not immediately trigger him, and small enough that she doesn't register as a threat. The mindflayer reels whenever she's around, which hurts a little but Billy hates the goddamn thing so he'll put up with the headache to torture the thing back.

She teaches him what she knows about how to use her powers, and consequently his own, teaches him how to navigate his mind to the best of her ability, and how to build up mental walls against the mindflayer. It helps IMMENSELY, and before he knows it, Billy has built a box to lock the mindflayer inside of.

It also has the unintended side effect of letting Billy explore his consciousness and address his traumas in a unique way. He's able to see his memories from the outside, see how he's been treated without bias, and come to realize how desperately unfair it was.

For a while it makes him angrier, because he can see how much all of that cost him, how badly it really hurt him, and how much of his life it ate. The year the Russians took from him is nothing compared to the 18 that Neil took.

But with time and care, especially from Max, El, and Joyce, he learns to refocus on the life he's still got left. And once he starts thinking of it that way, he lives with a vengeance.

He refuses to let any more of his time pass in pain. Yeah, things are still rough, he still doesn't like to be touched without someone notifying him that they're going to do so, and he still jumps at loud noises. He's having nightmare, but at least he sleeps enough to have them. The mindflayer is quiet, all sealed up in its box, and he's got a near constant eye on his sister, safe and sound.

Things could be better, and someday he'll make them that way. Because if nothing else, Billy Hargrove is a survivor.

[eskawrites]

I’ve gotten really stupid edits sent back to me every single day at work this week so you know what that means! Might just have to post some fic tonight to make myself feel better

[tethered-heartstrings]

My opinion of ye: you are exciting and thrilling, clever wit, excruciatingly poignant metas(also artfully funny sometimes), and the person I look to for validation of my fictional cannibalism fetish.

i will always always always validate and sexualize and romanticize cannibalism until my dying breath mark my words