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#it'd have been nice to have more options
miamicommune · 4 months
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thinking abt how nemesis kind of sets up what should be the most thematically interesting ambition in FL and how quickly that fades as it goes
#had a good amount of time to think abt it now and the knife price cut just hit so ive got some thoughts#nemesis puts a good amount of time into asking the player how far they're willing to go for revenge but the message dilutes as it goes#you start off and it costs you hard-earned lessons to /not/ kill someone really early on. to /not/ kill it costs you extra#and then as you go ur just given more and more cost gates and it never quite hits that same note again#not until right at the end where you can spare m_ ______ and m_ ___#but there is the feeling that you're doing it no matter the cost#and i think that's why the knifegate change has me hurting. like as much as it was a pain it also felt amazing to get through it#i think what should've been added rly was an option to get the lethean tea leaves from the esuriant smith or lilac#bc the main thing that's missing from the whole 'revenge tragedy' plot is the ability for the player to have turned away at any point#only to keep pushing on because they just can't bring themselves to forget#in the end it just feels like that early 'kill for the keys' or 'just knock them out but its harder' should've been a recurring motif#like the bodies always pile up in revenge stories. how much are u willing to do to ensure they don't??#it'd have been nice to have more options#ways around dealing with that devil other ways instead of taking red honey ways of not (probably) worsening the condition of a seeker#idk#im also at least a little bit mad abt the fact that for all that cost there's almost never fun post-nemesis things#always seeing hearts desire options (HATE u mr cards) and BaL options and what do nemesis players get. hellicon house stuff.
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sysig · 10 months
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Some possible* Tala stickers :D (Patreon)
#My art#Original#Tala#*I'm more just playing around with the idea of making some - personal stickers!#I mean I'm the biggest Tala fan anyway it's fine if it's for an audience of one lol#I finally got my hands on some sticker paper a bit back now it's just a matter of getting them the size I want and finding a good printer!#Ours is uh....well just don't look too closely at some of the greyscale pages I've posted they leave a bit to be desired lol#And that's just black and white I'm a little concerned what it'd do to pictures! :'D#Though I say that but it did print the art from Roundabout quite nicely so hmm! Maybe! But I do have other avenues if I want them :)#It's nice to have options!#For the time being they're just cute little guys of one of my cute little guys! :D In her doggy form and specifically her plush puppy form ♪#I really have been enjoying adding to her physical accessories haha - she's always got her little gold stitch/scar#And then her first accessory being the bracelet - and then her face mask - and now her ribbon! :D It's all very cute she's very cute#She's also good feral practice since I'm still not very good at drawing dogs or cats or the like :'D#I used references for that first one! Wowie!#I'm a fan of how she turned out overall :) I can still see some work I'd like to improve for her back legs but other than that :D#Baring her little teefsies hehe she's so scary ♥#My love of drawing plushies rears its head again - she is added to the list! No soft shading or lighting like MewTwo tho that's alright#The stitches are the really important part :) I like them!#I wish she could sit like that irl haha she's actually very stable to stand! A little awkward to sit#And finally a cutesy cartoony one :D She doesn't have paw beans irl either but come on I had to!#I debated whether they'd be pink or brown but I think I'm happiest keeping her palette simple :)#She's so cute <3
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 4 months
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today on my When All You Have is a D10 project: Rolling a 6 with a D100.
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1-16: Option 1
17-32: Option 2
33-48: Option 3
49-64: Option 4
65-80: Option 5
81-96: Option 6
97-100: Reroll
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if you get that last one you can reroll the ones column, tens column, or both, up to you. tune in next time for so fucking help me i WILL find an efficient way to substitute dice for a deck of playing cards
#solo rpgs#solo ttrpgs#ttrpg tables#i doubt this is something people haven't figured out many times already; but! it's useful and i hadn't seen it anywhere#and it was enough of a hassle that i figured i'd save some time for anybody who also will find it useful and hadn't seen it elsewhere#also i know it would maybe be more in the spirit of the thing to call it 'when all you have is a d100'#because a *lot* of the time that's effectively what you're rolling for; and maybe i will change the name to that#but you could do it with just a d10! it'd be really annoying in some cases because you have to roll d10 twice for a d100! but you could!#current parameters of the challenge are 'make the roll without having to reroll anything below a 90 or a 10'#i made the rpgsolo hack to be playable with only a d10 and d100 and it was fun enough that i wanted to do more with that#also i will be fair and say that the dice deck thing is not necessarily when all you have is a d10. i will take any dice combo that works#my disabled ass can't use physical cards; and physical dice are dodgy#but there are a LOT more digital dice rollers out there than there are digital card deck tools#let alone ones that don't rely on an online server; let alone ones that actually work on mobile#it is A Quest of Mine and i have zero experience with game jams but i am legit considering poking at hosting one for this#in particular because there's like 5000 ways you could do it and it would be nice to give people accessibility options#in case whatever go-to i jury-rig for myself doesn't jive with them#it does count as awkward tables initiative to me though so it goes under the same banner as this one#when all you have is a d10 project#awkward tables initiative#RPGSolo#ttrpg tag#whosebaby does game dev#whosebaby makes things#edit: literally less than a half hour after posting this i found. the simplest possible way to draw a card with dice. wheezes#figuring out a method to keep TRACK of a deck efficiently is probably another story but OH MY GOD. IT'S BEEN A YEAR#AMAZING
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xx-justsomeguy-xx · 10 months
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reminding myself that what i think is hot/fun doesn't always line up with the choices dola would make but god it is so fun playing dolls sometimes
#repeating this to myself bc i still think that between the five people i like for dola in genshin i still think that#between all of them she'd choose diluc and diluc would make the choice to do something with his own feelings#(as opposed to kaeya who wouldnt make a move and kaveh + alhaitham just wouldnt be options in dola's consideration.#and dola doesn't spend enough time in sumeru to really have a chance for her feelings to change/grow#childe is off the table bc of headcanon reasons + i also think dola wouldnt ever go for him no matter what her own feelings are)#like. kaeyasach still feels on the table bc um. i have headcanons abt diluc's fate i dont like voicing out here but with where the game#is taking place rn its def a dilusach route..? it's at least the route the feels the most fun to write and most natural for dola#+++++ i truly do love dola and kaeya as friends so tight it feels neither romantic or platonic or familial and is a secret 4th thing.#like its so fun. former childhood crushes on each other that reunite thanks to a tragedy and then they help each other deal with the grief#that theyve both been dealing with. both terribly alone but then fnding that maybe they arent and can rely on each other. idk. it just#feels like either they should be platonic soulmates OR they have the world's slowest burn ever#and it feels really meaningful to me that dola does her best to support him and even look into khaenriah for him as a friend than a partner#+ feels like it'd be more meaningful to kaeya too.#idk im having thoughts shdfjksdf this always happens when i see nice kaeya art and analysis and im second guessing dola's canon
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damnprecious · 2 years
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I keep falling deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole that is One Piece, I'm literally this close to starting a reread of the manga
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yandere-daydreams · 6 months
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tw - unhealthy relationships, obsessive behavior, somnophilia, implied non/con, mentions of knots.
Puppy!Yuuta, who catches your eye the second you step into the shelter, despite the fact that he’s not at all what you were looking for. You need a service animal, and as cruel as it feels to say, hybrids of undeterminable origins with less-than-stellar past homes aren’t known to be very consistent, let alone trainable when it comes to such a high-stakes job. You were supposed to meet a pure-bred, highly recommended husky hybrid whose previous owner was no longer able to take care of him, but it was over for you as soon as you saw those big, dark, watery eyes – nearly hidden entirely by overgrown hair and jet-black ears that seemed to droop even lower whenever you threatened to look away from him. You’re already a lost cause by the time you ask a shelter employee for his name, and the paperwork’s signed within the hour. He leaves with you the same day, eyes on the ground and tail wagging a mile a minute.
Puppy!Yuuta, who was always meant to be someone's spoiled pet. He's shy, at first, scared to talk too loudly or cling too tightly or do anything that'll get him sent back to the shelter (no matter how clear you make it that that's a non-option), but it only takes him a few days to warm up to you, a couple weeks to come out of his shell, just under a month to start sleeping in your bed and trailing you around your apartment. He almost trips over himself when you ask if he'd like to wear a collar, and soon enough, he's more akin to a second-shadow than a dog. He does have some aggression issues, particularly when it comes to human men, but he's an angel with other hybrids, and when he bows his head and pouts, you really can't help but forgive him. With a life like the one he must've had, you can't really blame him for being so quick to bear his teeth.
Puppy!Yuuta, who's more than ecstatic when you mention still needing a service animal. He might not be qualified on paper, sure, but he's already constantly at your side, constantly worrying about you - it'd just feel wrong to go out and get another hybrid for a job Yuuta is more than capable of. He says he likes that idea of being able to take care of you, too - like you take care of him. You want to ask him not to be so sappy, to think of a slightly less sentimental way to say it, but when he's so happy and so, so proud of himself, it's hard to be even that strict.
Puppy!Yuuta, who cums untouched the first time you comb your fingers through his hair. You don't seem to notice, and he does his best to hide his face in your lap, to bite back the little, pathetic whimpers that crawl up his throat whenever you scratch at the base of his ears. He doesn't want to scare you, to be so needy so suddenly when you've been so kind.
Puppy!Yuuta, whose one and only flaw is that he can't seem to stop riffling through your dirty laundry. He can't be left alone for more than an hour without stealing one of your oldest, most threadbare shirts or worse, claiming a pair of your underwear as his newest chew-toy. You really should chastise him for it, but it's such an awkward thing to talk about, and he has such a sweet face - it's hard to believe he could ever do anything deliberately wrong. You've resigned yourself to just trying to limit the damage and salvage the less damaged items, even if those mysterious stains are a little hard to get out.
Puppy!Yuuta, who wishes he didn't have such a big, bulky knot. It's too thick and too heavy and seems to swell up whenever he gets even a little hard. If he didn't have a knot, he'd be able to actually thrust into you, rather than just fucking his fist over your sleeping body and imagining how tight you'd be, how pretty you'd look, how nice it would be to make you feel as warm and as soft as he feels because of you. He does what he can with his tongue, but you don't seem to like waking up with his saliva soaking everything between your thighs, and he always gets too excited when he tastes you. If he has to rut against your thigh that desperately again, he's afraid you might wake up and scold him.
Puppy!Yuuta, who can't wait until he works up the courage to mate with you properly. He knows it's still too soon, that it'd scare you to do it so abruptly, that he doesn't deserve it yet, but soon, he'll be able to to step up and take care of you as something more than just a pet. He's not there right now, but one day, he just knows he'll be the perfect mate for you <3
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inthenameofsverige · 1 year
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@ the custom mc skin poll results:
yup thats about what i expected
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applejarjar · 1 year
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Damn, ppl do this waiting for a job offer thing all the time?
#Fucking sucks#I literally interviewed yesterday at 430pm and I'm already impatient#I also had the one thursday morning that I did which I found out I am currently the sole candidate for#Although I expect to see that change very soon because I learned that from another person in my program#Who is probably also going to apply though I'm not sure if she'd have much of an advantage over me ironically#Because she's vastly overqualified but it's also not in her degrees wheelhouse#And I'm also really hoping my travel partner is going to be given the chance to interview for the position#Because I think it'd suit them well and they didn't get a fair shot at it before even though they'd do great#Plus if I manage to get the other apparently exceedingly more competitive position I would get to work with either of them#And already know someone at the facility and even get to learn with them!!#It'd be a slightly different schedule though#Both days which everyone says is nice but I just don't like the idea of working a 6 am to 6 pm shift oof#The job where I'm currently the only candidate is an 8 am to 4 pm with the option to start and end earlier#The more flexible schedule definitely appeals to me#Also it's a supervisor job without ppl to supervise so that's closer to what I'm used to working with#But I joined this program to work on those ppl skills so I'm good with either position#I just think the less competitive one is really cool because it's unique and an interesting challenge#I know I sound like a baby but I also hope I won't have to do followup interviews#I've been so nervous this whole time trying to prepare and not flub it like I sorta did the first interview#But this last one was with one of the guys that I believe has a final say in who gets hired#So I hope his impression of me takes precedence over the external guy whose questions I kinda misinterpreted then fumbled through#I just really want to work in this facility and even if I don't land either of these jobs I'm going to apply to every damn job that pops up#Though I will be absolutely devestated if I don't get them first go#Cause technically I already lost one when they wouldn't even interview me#Which was understandable because my resume wasn't just a bit outdated after only 4 months but actually very bad and needed major work#Cause it made it seem like I was still in college and not a full time employee with a degree#I thought it just needed my current experience added but nah it required a huge overhaul to get it in working order again#So I feel like I really blew my chance there and was bummed that I couldn't even get a fighting chance by landing an interview#So when they let me interview for this one I was so excited! Like here's my chance!! And I think I did really well on the second one!#I'm just nervous that I'd mess up a followup interview or they'd end up telling me I wasnt a good enough fit
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chikaras-garden · 10 months
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Imagine you go to buy some furniture with Jason (or dick), and all they can think about the entire time is how easy it'd be to fuck you. Would he be able to bend you over that counter over there? Would it be too high? Too low? Would you somehow get hurt?
The idea for this was instant. Like a fever dream. 
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“Nah,” Jason says, patting his palm against the kitchen island you point out to him. With each option, he spends a full two minutes pacing around it, bending to inspect the countertop, the cabinets—how thorough he is would be admirable if he actually liked anything. 
Hands in his pockets, he strolls back over to where you’ve been waiting for him to decide. “That one’s too tall for you.”
Almost ready to give up, you half-heartedly point to the one next to it. “What about this one?” 
“C’mon, baby,” he scoffs. “That’s got wheels.”
Incredulous, you ask, “Why can’t we have wheels?”
“You’ll get hurt.”
“Huh?”
“Can’t have you slipping on me,” he tuts, already strolling away. “Broken jaws aren’t sexy.”
You stay right where you are, growing more confused by the second. “I’m not going to break my jaw while I’m cooking, Jay.”
He pauses and turns just enough to look over his shoulder. His eyes glint with an I know something you don’t know sort of mischief, and one half of his mouth twitches into a shit-eating grin. “Didn’t say anything about cooking, kitten.”
You blink. Your cheeks grow warm. Oh. Oh. Oh, God.
“Jason Peter—”
“No wheels, less than three inches higher than your waist, no pointy door pulls, and I think you’d look nice against a white quartz top,” he interrupts, firing off wish list items like bullets, as if he’s not talking about the ideal qualities for a kitchen island on which he plans to rail you. “Let’s keep looking, baby; might have to bend you over a couple of these to see how comfortable they are for you.”
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hopelessdazai · 6 months
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✿ 》 To Hold or Be Held?
╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; writing witj this many characters was scary . pls ignore any typos or errors or mischaracterisation im learning. reblogs appreciated!!
╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; Chuuya, Dazai, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor, gn!reader ( fem terms in fyodors and mentions of boobs in nikolais parts )
╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; fluff, cuddles, all those nice things, nikolai being nikolai, possible mischaracterisation
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dazai
dazai doesn't have a preference. he enjoys both being held and holding you for the same reason. when he's holding you, he's holding on tight - part of him is still scared you're gonna leave him if he gets too comfortable. and if you're holding him he always finds himself melting into you, his hands shakily gripping at your clothes as he smothers himself against your chest. he adores how your hands find his hair and comb through it. if he puts all his weight onto you, you can't go anywhere, right?
".. 'm sorry .. don't get up, just five more minutes. I'll be good ..- you're warm .. 'm sorry.. "
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chuuya
chuuya prefers to hold. be adores the feeling of you in his arms, it makes him feel like he's protecting you from the known - blanketed by his strong embrace. he traces 'I love you's on your back knowing you're too comfortable and sleepy to know what he's writing - his thumb writes his name into your hip when you think he's just rubbing circles. little possessive things like that, just to quietly manifest that you stay with him. he can press a gentle kiss to the top of your head and tease you for being so clingy ; even though he's holding you tight too.
".. you need the bathroom? .. you can hold it, jus' stay with me for a while longer .. I love you .. pretty thing you are .."
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atsushi
atsushi prefers to hold. while he won't ever deny being held, usually he finds himself pulling you on top of him to keep you in his embrace while he takes a nap. your head on his chest and his arms resting around your waist, while he gently purrs to soothe you to sleep with him. he hasn't been able to take solo naps since you've been around - and he knows you enjoy resting with him too, anyway. so what's the harm when he tugs you over to the detective agency couch and asks you to take a quick break? you've both been working hard , after all.
"let's have a quick break, okay? we can stay finish everything later .. you're gonna exhaust yourself out, sweetheart .. just 10 minutes .."
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akutagawa
akutagawa prefers to be held. he'll never admit it to anyone, especially not to you. but you can see the way he relaxes and sinks into you when you wrap your arms around him. the way he takes a long exhale and his shoulders deflate as your hand traces a certain spot on his back. he likes listening to your heartbeat, he likes knowing you're alive and with him for who he is - and not what he can do. he's still learning to love and to trust, but it's a little easier when it's by your side. he hopes you wont leave him, he'll work to impress you as he grows.
".. what? no, I'm not falling asleep. you're imagining things. you .. mm .. can you do that again ?"
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nikolai
nikolai doesn't have a preference. he's like a big dog, despite his size he'll absolutely lay himself on top of you and nuzzle into your chest. if you have boobs then he won't be moving for a while, so kiss your oxygen goodbye. whenever he wants to hold you, he's not really one to ask ; he'll just drag you over onto him or use a portal to drop you into his lap, then he's clinging to you and whining desperately whenever you try to leave. he's just big and clingy, but can you fault him? he finds you so comforting.
" .. where are you going? no! you can't leave .. do you not love me anymore ?.. why do you wanna leave !.. just stay with me .. thank you .."
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fyodor
fyodor prefers to hold. if neither was an option, it'd most likely be that. but he regularly asks you to come sit on his lap while he works. a small whistle as he turns his chair, patting his thigh - and he'll wrap an arm around you to keep you close. he's not too affectionate, and too much touching before your marriage repulses him. but he'll learn to deal with these little moments for a while - it gives him his energy back and helps him with a little push to finish his work so you rest together.
" .. зайчик .. come here. no, I'm not finished. just come. don't be disobedient , now .. there we are. good girl."
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barcaatthemoon · 2 months
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love me tender || leah williamson x reader ||
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leah helps you through some of your pain after you tear your acl.
minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.
the ache in your leg was almost overwhelming. you had spent all day stuck in bed unable to move because of it. you knew that tearing your acl during camp was bad, but you had never expected the pain to be this bad. usually leah was there to get you medicine and take care of you, but it would be another hour and a half before she got back from practice.
all you wanted was some sort of distraction from the pain, but you were quickly running out of options. usually, you'd try to watch something, but you couldn't focus on anything. sleep was always good, if only you weren't in so much pain that you couldn't even begin to fall asleep.
after nearly an hour, you remembered what you had done for leah whenever she had a bad day when her acl had been torn. you knew that it'd be hard for you to cum in so much pain, but the pleasure was a nice distraction from everything going on with your body.
it was a slow start with your hands massaging the inside of your own thighs. you closed your eyes and tried to think of all the things that leah usually did to you. you let your fingers dance all across your own skin like hers did. all you wanted was leah, but you could only hope that she'd be back soon. and as much as you wanted her, you truly and deeply believed that she deserved some time away from you.
"fuck leah," you moaned as your fingers finally dipped down past your shorts. you were definitely teasing yourself as you stroked your fingers against yourself through your underwear. they'd be ruined if you continued like this for long, but you could always buy another pair or two later.
just as you were awkwardly shimmying out of your shorts and underwear, leah was entering the apartment. leah generally liked to announce her arrival, but since it was so quiet and you had been a bit down when she left, leah assumed that you were sleeping. she quietly tiptoed up the little set of stairs to your bedroom and pushed open the door.
your eyes were screwed shut as you pleasured yourself. leah's gaze was torn between your two hands. your left hand was grabbing at your breasts, alternating to give attention to both. your right hand was rubbing furiously at your clit as your hips moved up and down trying to chase after something that you knew was futile. even without the pain, you hadn't made yourself cum since you started regularly having sex with leah.
"oh my god," leah whispered in shock as she watched you. you had absolutely no clue that leah was there until you felt the dip in the bed as she moved to lay between your legs. "move your hand up and don't stop on my account, i want to help you. please."
"okay," you agreed. you moved your right hand up to tease your other breast. leah licked her lips as she took in the sight once more before she dove down between your legs. leah's tongue moved slowly against your clit, and the switch from your frantic rubbing made your head spin. "leah, oh my god. you feel so good."
"that's all i want to do. all i ever want to do is make you feel good love," leah told you. "do you want my fingers too?"
"no, i like this. this is good," you answered. leah hummed as she dipped her head down once again. the slow strides of her tongue helped to calm you down a bit. it was much easier not to think about your pain with leah pleasuring you instead of trying to do it yourself.
leah's hand moved to gently rub around your knee, seemingly soothing some of that pressure away as well. you began to feel the relaxation spread throughout your entire body at this. you were used to exciting and dramatic orgasms with leah, but the subtly of this one was welcome. too much thrashing around and muscle stress only would have hurt you further. leah seemed to know this, and backed away as soon as you showed signs of coming down.
"stay there, i'll be right back," leah ordered. she gave you a quick peck on the lips before she left you on the bed. you stayed there until she came back to wipe away the mess between your legs. she cleaned you up, but you could tell that she wasn't finished yet. you were given clean clothes, and by the time that you were finished dressing yourself, leah was back with an ice pack and some pain pills for your knee.
"all for me?" you tilted your head and smiled up at her. the sight of you made leah's chest feel warmer. you were visibly more relaxed than you had been when she left. that had been a point of contention that morning with leah insisting that she could reschedule her afternoon plans because of the pain in your knee. "you don't have to do all this."
"of course i do, and not just because your big sister scares me. i seem to remember you giving up almost everything to take care of me when i got hurt. i've never been great at this sort of thing, it kind of hurt my relationship with jordan, but i'm getting better. that's because of you, you've shown me how to be a proper homemaker," leah said. she tried to laugh and make it sound more casual than it was, but you could hear the little waiver in her voice.
"you didn't need help, you just needed to get over yourself first. don't worry though, i won't let any of the other girls know that you're so soft. i know that georgia and lucy wouldn't let you hear the end of it," you laughed. leah bit her lip as she looked away from you. still, you could see the rosy hue to her cheeks that wasn't usually there. "but if you want, you can go around telling them all that i made you a kept woman."
"maybe, but i doubt that would do anything for my reputation. keira already gives me shit for how whipped i am for you. i don't know how she knows about that though, do you have any idea (y/n)?"
"not a clue, maybe she just sees right through you," you muttered as you leaned in to kiss leah. leah scoffed, but still accepted the kiss graciously. "lee, baby, do you think that you could get me something to eat? chicken and noodles if we have any left in the fridge please."
"i'll be right back." leah left without even stopping to think, not even when she heard you chuckle as she made her way down the steps. leah knew that she was whipped, and it wouldn't have taken your weekly phone calls with keira for the midfielder to figure that one out. she had stayed with both you and leah the last time that she was in london before you'd officially moved in together, so she had seen firsthand the way leah was around you.
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john-get-the-salt · 11 months
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Packed Lunch (w/spencer reid)
Imagine: One morning Spence is in a rush to leave for work and forgets his lunch. You know he gets cranky when he gets hungry, so that only leaves one option.
Contains: secret relationship becoming not so secret anymore, funny Rossi, cute domestic Reid
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It'd been exactly 39 minutes since Spencer left for work and you hadn't moved a muscle, standing and glaring at the bag sitting on the counter. It wasn't that the bag itself had offended you, as it was in fact just a harmless brown paper bag. What did offend you, was that it wasn't with Spencer like it should be. The packed lunch was no good if Spencer didn't pack it with him to work.
He'd been in such a rush leaving that morning that he zipped out the door without it. Whenever he stayed the night at your place you made sure to pack him a lunch, knowing that he wasn’t always the best at caring for himself.
Forgetting to bring lunch wasn't usually a big deal for most people. You knew that the federal building where he worked had a cafeteria.
But this was Spencer Reid you were talking about. And Spence hated the cafeteria food. On the occasion he forgot his lunch he'd just go the entire day living off coffee and whatever snacks were hidden in his desk. Then he’d go back to either his apartment or yours, starving and with a nasty headache.
This meant without his lunch he would most likely not be eating today. And as you thought about how stressed and overworked he'd been lately, that did not sit well with you.
So it was decided. You would drop his food off.
He was just in the office for the day as far as you knew, so you were moderately sure you could just leave it with the front desk or something and have them take it up to him.
The two of you had been dating for several months but agreed to keep it secret from his coworkers for now. Spencer was adamant that in his line of work he could never have any secrets, and for once he wanted to have something all to himself. You couldn't even begin to understand how he did what he did, so that was an easy request to grant.
You had since then discussed telling his co-workers about your relationship as you two became more serious, but the right time hadn't come up yet. Plus it made you giggle when he told you the tales of his co-workers trying to set him up or making fun of his lack of romantic life.
This all meant you couldn't just stroll into the building and announce to everyone that you were dropping food off for your boyfriend, Spencer Reid. You would need to quickly and discretely drop the food off and then be gone without a trace.
No harm in that at all. Right?
You quickly got dressed and grabbed the lunch. Living within walking distance of the BAU headquarters was extremely handy, especially today. It was a nice day and you enjoyed the weather as you walked.
It only took about 15 minutes before you were pulling the doors to the government building open, immediately being hit with a rush of cool air. The inside was full of people who looked like they really meant business in their fancy suits and stern faces. You sudden felt self conscious in your normal ‘civilian’ attire, and scurried up to the front desk to get this over with.
The lady at the front desk seemed disinterested, and barely looked up when you stopped in front of her.
"Can I help you?"
"Hi, yes. I was hoping I could drop off this food for my boyfriend. He works here and forgot it this morning and he always gets cranky when he's hungry and-"
"Ma'am we don't deliver food."
"I know I just-he's going to be hungry and I can tell you what department he works for and maybe someone could run it up to him real quick."
She pulled open a binder from her desk, sighing heavily. "Can I get his name and your name?"
"Oh, um, his name is Spencer Reid, and mine is but I don't work here I'm-"
"Here. You're already a registered visitor."
She handed you a clip on badge with Visitor printed on it in big bold letters. "Give that to security, then elevators are to the left and there's a directory on the wall. Have a good day."
Before you could even argue she was dismissing you and addressing the person in line behind you. So you forced your feet to move and head towards security. You felt like a fraud walking amongst agents and other government workers, and you kept your gaze down to avoid eye contact. After your purse got checked and your visitor badge got scanned you shuffled to the elevators.
You paused in front of the directory on the wall, squinting at the dozens of names listed. Where the fuck was the BAU?
You must've looked as confused as you felt, as someone stopped beside you.
“Ma'am? Do you need help finding something?"
You turned towards the voice, coming face to face with a kind-looking older man.
"Oh! I do actually, if you wouldn't mind."
"Of course, what department are you looking for?"
"Um, the BAU?"
"Well I can definitely help you there."
He pressed the elevator button and the two of you waited for a moment before the doors opened and the elevator emptied. He gestured forward and you gave him an appreciative smile before stepping in. He followed along with a few other people. It remained quiet as the elevator rose and stopped at occasional floors, people getting in and out.
Eventually it stopped at floor 6 (totally making this up idk) and the man announced this was the stop.
You followed him off the elevator and onto a floor that was still busy, but nearly as much as the lobby. Straight ahead, down a little hall, were a set of glass doors with BAU printed on the front. You chewed on your lip as you stared the door down, contemplating.
How were you going to casually drop Spence's lunch off without creating suspicion? You couldn't exactly just walk right in and hand it to him without people questioning who you were.
"Can I help you find anyone in particular?"
"Oh no that's okay, you've helped plenty. I don't want to keep you from your business."
"Please, what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't help?"
This was so not the plan. But what other option did you have? You hadn't accounted for this scenario, you were positive you wouldn't make it past the front desk. But now here you were, and you needed to make sure this food got to Spence. Plus it probably wasn't smart to aimlessly wander around an FBI building. With your luck someone would think you were a terrorist or something. And you were not a terrorist.
"I didn't think you were, but my confidence in that is now wavering."
Oh my god. You said that last part out loud. To an FBI agent.
“Oh god I’m so sorry, I did not mean to say that out loud. I swear I’m not a terrorist. I have this terrible habit of saying dumb things when I’m nervous.”
Could this get any worse? All you wanted to do was drop your boyfriends lunch off and now you were talking about terrorism with an FBI agent.
To your relief, the man just chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve heard plenty worse. Now who are you looking for?”
At this point you were ready for the earth to just swallow you whole and you were deeply regretting ever leaving the apartment.
“Spencer Reid,” you said simply as you held up the bag in hand. “I have his lunch.”
“Spencer? He’s just through these glass doors, follow me.”
At this point, you didn’t care who saw you. You didn’t care that it sounded like this man knew Spence, and may or may not think you are a terrorist.
You just wanted fo give Spence his lunch and get the fuck out of dodge.
Following the stranger through the glass doors, you found yourself in a much quieter area. The entrance led out onto a catwalk from where you could see clusters of desks below you and a little coffee bar against the wall.
"I'll just set the lunch over here-"
"(Y/N)?"
You looked up at the voice and found your boyfriend standing below you at a desk, a concerned look on his face. He left the group of people he was standing with and jogged up the steps towards you.
"Hey, is everything ok? Did something happen? Are you ok?" His eyes were wide with concern, words coming out fast as he glanced over you. His hands automatically reached for yours, something the two of you did without thought.
"I'm fine, my love. You just forgot your lunch," you held up the paper bag. "I tried to drop it off at the front desk but the lady just gave me this pass and told me to bring it up. Then I almost got lost but this nice guy stopped and helped but I was so nervous I accidentally said something about terrorism and I know I shouldn't drop by unannounced but I also know how cranky you get when you're hungry and I-"
"(Y/n)," he cut your anxious rambling off, smiling in relief that everything was ok. "Thank you."
You smiled back up at him, relieved he wasn’t upset. "You're quite welcome. And I must say I feel so official with my badge even though I absolutely do not belong here."
He laughed. "I think you fit right in."
"Well I-"
"Reid?"
You both froze and became suddenly re-aware of the current setting. You looked up at your boyfriend with wide, worried eyes.
Spencer sighed, though that dopey smile of his remained on his face. "I think our secret is out."
He intertwined his hand in yours and together you turned towards the voice. Standing with varying looks of confusion and smugness were a group of people you recognized as his co-workers.
"Who's this?"
Spencer cleared his throat. "Um, guys this is… my girlfriend."
You gave a hesitant wave, trying not to shrink under the intimidating gazes. The office was quiet for a moment, before someone else burst into the room
"Did Reid just say girlfriend?!"
"That's correct, babygirl," one of them spoke up. "Pretty boys got himself a girlfriend."
The blonde gasped, before rushing forward and grabbing you into a hug.
"It is SO nice to meet you!"
You laughed as you hugged her back.
“It's lovely to meet you too, Penelope. All of you.”
She released you and you turned towards the rest of the team.
“Spence is always showing me pictures and talking about you guys, I hope you understand us wanting to keep it quiet for a while. But I've been really looking forward to meeting you."
A man with a stern look in his eye stepped forward, holding out a hand. "Aaron Hotchner," his eyes seemed to soften as you shook his hand. "Nice to finally meet you."
That broke the rest of the team out of this trance and they all gathered forward to formally introduce themselves. You shook everyone's hands and giggled as they ogled at the fact that Spencer had caught himself a girlfriend.
You learned, with a laugh, that the man who'd helped you find your way was in fact David Rossi, one of Spence's coworkers. I’m your anxious mess you hadn’t recognized the man.
You explain to everyone that you were just dropping off Spencer's lunch, but you weren't getting away that easily.
Penelope and JJ convinced you to stay, and you all spent the lunch break sitting around a conference table chatting. Hearing stories about Spence on the job had you cry laughing and you happily indulged his friends in some stories of your own.
The entire time Spencer kept a tight hold of your hand, smile never wavering as he watched his favorite people laugh together.
His family.
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whirlybirbs · 27 days
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— BURNER CELL ; 2 ; DABI ; 荼毗
summary: after a week of silence, you finally text dabi. pairing: dabi / f!reader ; quirkless word count: 1.3k tag: humor, maladjusted dabi meets normal adult woman, flirting, canon-based world building, cancer mention, texting as a plot device, slight au, univeristy student!reader a/n: this stole all my concentration. siri play emo boy by ayesha erotica ← previous | the tag
It's the kind of week where, aside from class, human interaction isn't really on life's setlist. 
It's also the kind of week where you rediscover making a meal of raw cookie dough straight from the package. Your econ textbook might have a stranglehold on you, but you make enough time to scarf down a few globs between chapters — after all, who needs protein or fiber when you're sure this five-year master's program will kill you first?
Your head hurts.
You slump against the counter, refilling your water bottle. 
It's late now — and you can feel the quiet woes beginning to wane as you blink at the clock. By now, your friends are probably on their second or third drinks. You turned the invite down when they asked yesterday. Nuri tugged on your sweater sleeve and pouted the best pout she could manage, but you didn't budge. 
I've gotta finish this paper, I'm sorry, Nur'. 
You roll your jaw as you shut the faucet off, wandering to your freezer to wrangle some cubes from the tray. You bend it slowly, deep in thought. A few pop out, and you idly drop them into your water bottle with a twang. 
You're staring at your phone. It's by your computer on the counter. 
...You never did text Dabi. 
You told yourself it was for the best — after all, you weren't looking for a catastrophic derailment of your life at the moment. Things are good. You're two semesters away from finishing University, your family's bakery back in Kyoto is doing well, and Dad's chemotherapy seems to be working. Things are good! It's almost fall, you've managed to stick to your monthly budget, and Mizu settled in happily to your new apartment. 
No four-day poop strike like the last time you moved.
The large tuxedo cat in question ambles through the kitchen — brushing against your leg and letting out a long, low mrrooow. 
Things are great! 
You shouldn't text Dabi.
But... even if you did, it's not like it'd be the end of the world, right?
Wait, could he figure out where you lived from your number...?
You could use one of those anonymous texting services. Then, it wouldn't even be your number. Just some fake string of digits that allow you to satiate the bizarre curiosity that's been swirling in your head for the last week. 
You're sure the novelty will wear off. 
He's probably not even going to respond. 
You're telling yourself this is stupid as you begin to set up an account with the service — the app boasts privacy, andunlimited calls and texts... You can't help but feel a little strange as you finalize your account. 
It's done.
You import his contact with two taps and stare at the blank screen. 
...Now what?
Are you really going to do this? I mean — he's a wanted criminal. He's a member of the League of Villains. If anyone ever found out you were in contact with him, you'd be toast. You'd have All Might kicking your door in and demanding to look through your phone and that mental image is enough to make you cringe. Say goodbye to your degree, goodbye toyour future as Sakura Flour's owner, and goodbye to freedom. You're sure the Safety Commission would place you on some watch list for the rest of your life, and frankly, your tweets are already questionable. You don't need more scrutiny. 
...So, there are two options. 
Delete his number and move on... or don't get caught. 
You shouldn't text Dabi.
...But, you do.
Truth be told, he isn't shocked to see that cute Nuri girl hanging on Giran's arm again. The Broker seems pretty into her — the guy even mentioned something about taking her to a nice dinner during the week as a congrats on passing some big test. Dabi can't blame him. She's cute. Looks good in red. Not his type, but he can appreciate it from time to time.
However, Dabi is a little shocked that you're not a part of the group cheering in Giran's VIP section. There's bottle service being ordered, laughter, dancing, and a gaggle of pretty, five college girls — and none of them are you. 
His lips twist into a scowl. 
He decides he's leaving; his piss-poor drink is tossed back, and he dumps a bill down for the bartender before tugging his hood up and sucking his teeth. 
He never liked this club anyway.
He's crossing the threshold of the back door, stepping into the damp and dark alley, when the phone in his back pocket buzzes. Someone's smoking a Marlboro by the dumpster. The familiar smell makes Dabi's fingers twitch. 
He's tryna quit.
He tugs the phone from his pocket, no longer bothered by the splintered glass screen. His battery is at 13%. This fuckin' thing barely holds a charge anymore. 
The number on the screen isn't one he knows.
Dabi's passcode is unnecessarily long. His phone clicks open as he narrows his eyes and shambles towards the opening in the alley. He doesn't know this number. He has everyone's cell memorized that he needs. Shigaraki, Toga, Spinner, Jin, Compress, even Giran. He doesn't keep contacts. Doesn't work when he's ditching phones all the time. He's got his noggin. That's good enough.
The text is one word:
hi.
Dabi's squinting at the text when another buzzes through. 
← 909.999.3399 ;  11:48pm sorry, this is bar girl
→ dabi ; 11:46pm thought u were never gonna txt me ur girlie nuri is here where r u
There's no way.
Your phone buzzes three times from its far place where it sits face down on the counter — you just walked away from it, hellbent on distracting yourself while you waited out the potential reply. You go rigid in your kitchen. 
Did he seriously text you back immediately?
You purse your lips, then slink towards the phone. It buzzes again.
→ dabi ; 11:47pm c'mon don't leave me hangin pretty
Your eyes are wide as you stare at the string of replies. He has read receipts turned on like the psychopath he is. 
You lean back against the counter, chewing your cuticle as you let out a ragged sigh. Nuri is with him? Or... No, they said they were going to that club you hate. 
← 909.999.3399 ;  11:4pam oh, are they at the bar?‎
Dabi's fingers move fast.
→ dabi ; 11:49pm nah in downtown club tropical or whatever the fuck it's called
You snort a little.
← 909.999.3399 ;  11:49pm i hate that place. their drinks suck.
Dabi has started making his way back to their hideout — back to the shit box apartments they're renting above Kurogiri's bar. He's slow, idly texting as he weaves through the crowds of nightlife in Kamino Ward. 
→ dabi ; 11:50pm a girl after my own heart where r u ur dodging my question u on a date or smthng????
He's insistent, you'll give him that. You cross your legs as you lean back against the laminate counter and chew the inside of your lip.
He's typing. It starts, then stops, then starts again. 
When you start typing, the bubble disappears. 
← 909.999.3399 ;  11:50pm nah, got a huge paper to finish uni student, remember? sorry to disappoint 
→ dabi ; 11:51pm ur missin out giran got bottle service  him and nuri looked cozy
← 909.999.3399 ;  11:51pm not shocked she thinks she can fix him
→ dabi ; 11:51pm ooooo love when that happens poor girl
Typing... 
Typing...
→ dabi ; 11:51pm u think u can fix me? :p
The emoji makes your face break into a smile — it's so... not what you expected. 
← 909.999.3399 ;  11:52pm nah i'm not stupid
→ dabi ; 11:52pm just busy.... really lame of u tbh coulda been fun
← 909.999.3399 ;  11:52pm wasting cash on mid drinks is the opposite of fun
→ dabi ; 11:52pm i meant seeing me
Oh, what the fuck.
Why does that text make your face feel hot? Why does that text make you feel like you're not texting the League of Villain's #1 Arsonist, but some cute boy from class? He's not a cute boy from class. He's a danger to society. 
You're glad you don't have the opportunity to reply. Your phone is buzzing in your hands, the haptic feedback lighting the neurons in your brain on fire.  
→ dabi ; 11:53pm gtg phone is gonna die have fun with ur paper u loser hope u get a good grade or whatever i'll txt u later
You shouldn't have texted Dabi.
But you did. 
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infamous-if · 9 months
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To Gender Select, or to Not Gender Select
So as everyone knows, I'm using the opportunity for this rewrite to really step back and look at what I have so far. I have just subscribed to the whole "follow my gut" thing and for the last two months or so, my gut has been telling me something.
For context, I created Orion (and I have mentioned this a couple times when I first opened this blog) that he came to me fully formed. While other ROs were more of a puzzle that appeared more and more fleshed out with every detailed I added, Orion was like a jenga block tower that grew more and more unsteady every time I changed a detail about him. He just came to me exactly as he was and I didn't really think beyond that. For example, with G, pieces of both Gina and Griffin came to me at the same time and G isn't G without both versions. With Orion he was just...Orion.
But lately—and this was not without many suggestions asking for it!—I've been playing around with the idea of a female version of his character.
One of my biggest things was to make sure that this wasn't a matter of just changing a variable. When it comes to my gender selectable ROs, I want to make sure I'm including the subtleties and nuances that come with being a man/woman in the public eye, especially for O. Their route is heavily centered around the idea of professionalism and...other things I can't mention and I think it'd be super interesting to add another component of being a woman, not only typically stern and taciturn but in a dominant position in music mostly taken up by men. Which is why, in the rewrite, there will be lines that are unique to Orion and unique to her. Reactions that are different, conversations that change. People who continue to romance Orion will prob not see a difference.
Not only does it separate them as two different people, it creates some distance from Orion, who is an established and beloved character already. I want his female counterpart to stand on her own as her own character.
Just because they have the same route does not mean they are the same person. I've always said that about my gender selectable characters.
This was not a spur of the moment decision. I was thinking about this for a while. I just needed to make sure every piece of Orion's route would make sense for her, and I do believe it does.
I've also been told many times how many people like Orion's route and the whole "manager-client" trope but are unable to play it as they are not attracted to men. I think this would be a nice addition and a way to make it more inclusive/give more people more routes to play!
The things I have written for Orion will probably stay the same since they've been written. Everything after the rewrite will have both options to select from.
So meet Oriana Quinn. With a short black bob usually greased back and a perfectly pressed suit, Oriana is as intimidating as she is determined. Yes, she's just as tall and muscular as her male counterpart and as obsessed with the gym as he. Her route with Cory will be different in its nature (since Cory is straight) but...guess we'll see!
fun fact: The beauty of Oriana being the name is that coincidentally, it also has to do with the sky. One of my requirements for finding a name like Orion's was that it was sky themed since it does come up. It almost seems like fate! haha
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TLDR: Orion will be gender selectable. If you have plans to romance Orion and Orion alone, this will make no difference to you. For those who were hoping for this, I hope this news makes Infamous a bit more enjoyable for you! <3
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the-whispers-of-death · 4 months
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I've been meaning to write for Sugar Daddy!Price, so here it is. This is me caving into my personal desires.
Minors and Ageless Blogs Do Not Interact!! While this post is SFW, my blog isn't!!
Perhaps you're in need of more money because of your student debt, your inflated rent, or simply because you want to live a more lavish lifestyle. Either way, you find yourself one of those sugar baby websites, putting yourself out there for all potential sugar daddies to see.
It took you a few failed sugar daddies, who only wanted you for sex, to find John Price. He was a military man, which made you wary, but he seemed really sweet in his chats with you and the real kicker?
He didn't want you to have sex with him.
So despite your initial hesitance, you took up John's offer of going out to dinner with him to sort out all of the details of your arrangement. You put on the fanciest suit you owned, leaving the house and getting into the very nice car that John sent over to pick you up.
When you got to the restaurant, which was indeed as fancy as you thought it'd be, John was there to greet you. He hadn't yet gotten seated at the table, leading to him gently guiding you as you two followed the waiter to your table.
The hand he placed at the small of your back warmed you through your clothes, as if it was touching bare skin. His pressure was firm, but not too firm to feel as though he was the only one driving your footsteps forward. It was more protective than commanding.
"Here, let me get that for you," John murmured as he went to pull out your chair for you. Despite you both being men, he clearly seemed to still want to be a gentleman, pushing your chair in when you sat down.
He ordered the drinks, giving you the option of an alcoholic drink or a non-alcoholic one. As the waiter left you two to go over the menu after giving you your drinks, you found it was the perfect time to start the conversation.
You worried your lip briefly before speaking. "So you said you're not looking for sex, but what are you looking for?" you asked, curiosity dripping in your voice. "What does being your sugar baby entail?"
John smiled at your question, leaning back in his seat to look at you fully. "It doesn't entail much, I'm away on deployments most of the time. I just want someone to take out on dates and to be in my presence when I am home from deployments," he answered, blunt to the point where you were surprised by his honesty. "I don't expect you to only have one sugar daddy or even not have a boyfriend, though I will still pay you even if I'm on deployments, I just ask to have your attention when I am home."
"Too busy to date?" you teased, relishing in the way your comment made a mischievous glint sparkle in Price's blue eyes.
"I am too busy to date and most people don't want a partner who's away for months on end." John swiped a drop of wine off his bottom lip before it could fall, your eyes instinctively tracking the movement. He then refocused on you. "Sugar babies are much easier in that respect, I don't have to worry about someone not liking waiting for me because they're getting paid."
You took in his words, mulling it over in your mind as the waiter came back, taking your orders. You then glanced up at John, taking in his handsome features and the offer he was giving you.
It was so nice to know that even when he was going to be deployed, he'd still be sending you money. Part of you felt like you were cheating him out of a good service, but the part of you that craved the money couldn't care. He clearly didn't.
As the food arrived, you two continued to sort out everything, John writing things down for when he'd draw up a contract for you two to sign. The rest of the dinner went well and since he was paying you for this dinner, you offered to come back to his place despite the fact that there was no contract yet.
John thought it over a while before shaking his head and gently turning you down, kissing your forehead and placing you in the car. He bid you goodbye before closing the door, signaling to the chauffeur to drive you back home.
You had a feeling being John's sugar baby would be interesting to say the least.
Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated! Asks are open, feel free to pop in and request something! (Check the rules in "Rules for Requesting NSFW" before requesting.)
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Steddie rockstar x roadie AU, with Steve being Eddie's queer awakening
(in a not-fic-format because I cannot be arsed to actually write it)
So. Corroded Coffin isn't huge by any means, but they're big enough. Successful and respected within their genre. Has a loyal fanbase, constantly sells out smaller venues, gets to go on tour every so often. They're rockstars who've made it while still getting to live like they're not rockstars when off the clock (and stage). The best of both worlds, really.
They're gearing up for another tour and have a couple of new faces on their crew. One of them got the job by being a friend of a friend. He doesn't at all look like he'd be a roadie for CC, and he doesn't actually listen to them – he's more into classic rock (respectable) and occasionally new wave (not respectable), but it's whatever. He's strong and hard-working and gets the job done. He also withstands the initial hazing like a champ, even biting back a few times. Yeah, Steve Harrington carves a place for himself in the crew and is soon one of them.
Eddie is especially fond of the new guy. Partly because it's clear Steve is as enamored with Dustin as Eddie is, and mutual interests bring people together. But also because Steve is simply a fun dude to be around? He's nice. Except for when he's mean; then he's funny instead. He's honestly funny a lot of times, even when he doesn't mean to be. Like, sometimes someone will make an exceptionally nerdy reference that he doesn't get, so he'll tilt his head and scrunch his eyebrows as it's explained to him. And, all right, maybe that's not funny, per se. More like cute. Endearing. Eddie often finds himself endeared and wanting to pat Steve on the head like the sweet little puppy he so strongly resembles.
The others mock him for it. Tease him about his man-crush on Harrington. Eddie laughs along with them, because yeah! Were he into men, Steve absolutely would've been his type. Look at him! Guy's ripped and has great hair (almost better than Eddie's. Just imagine the mane it'd be if he let it grow past his shoulders...) and Eddie has great taste. He'd for sure be head over heels for Steve if he were gay, and he is man enough to admit it.
That's how the flirting starts – as an extension of the joke. It's not out of character for Eddie, who flirts with everyone. With reporters, interviewers, photographers, TSA officers, venue security, other bands, anyone! Gender, age, or appearance don't matter because flirting is fun. And it's especially fun to flirt with Steve, because he flirts back! No matter how much Eddie does it, Steve will flirt back and help make everyone laugh. It's a great part of their dynamic and actually brings them closer as friends. Dustin would be proud of them.
So, while on tour, they have this thing where one member of the crew gets to decide where they'll go after shows or on their days off. Participation is optional but encouraged, because it's an 'organic bonding experience' or whatever their manager called it. Occasionally it'll be a movie or a museum, but usually the destination is a bar or club. What's there to say, they're a bunch of male, red-blooded twenty to thirty-somethings – what better pasttime is there than to get drunk after a hard day's work? Yeah, every so often someone will pick up a girl, but it's a rare occurrence. A bunch of the guys has special ladies waiting at home, and for the single ones it's much easier to just book a date with their own hand.
There's one guy on the crew, Peter, who always takes them to a gay bar when it's his turn. This because he is gay. Duh. No one minds it, and if they do they don't come back next tour. Corroded Coffin prides themselves on their allyship. They're freaks of nature welcoming all other freaks of nature. Seriously, what does it matter if a dude likes cock instead of tits? Why is it wrong if he wants it up the ass? It's actually not that bad! See, Eddie used to date this woman who was puh-retty kinky. Pegging was just one of the many, many, maaaaaaany things she enjoyed. And Eddie loved her, so, well. It wasn't as good as she claimed it'd be, but it was fine. Enjoyable enough to do again. The point is that CC doesn't dance with homophobia, and Eddie will scream it from the top of every table.
Anyway. When it's Peter's turn, Steve (who hasn't gotten to pick yet because he's the newbie and they pick last) comments upon it. Nothing big. Nothing bad. Still, Gareth is on him, puffing himself up like a chihuahua and asking if Steve has a problem with it.
Eddie’s hands turn clammy with nerves in the split second it takes for Steve to roll his eyes and scoff "of course not".
Look, he'd really like for Steve to be back next tour, okay? They're buddies now and he doesn't want to lose him to bigotry. Also, it'd suck to have to tell Dustin that the guy he hero-worships is actually a douchebag. Nothing to fear, however – Steve continues to prove himself to be a good dude. He doesn't even blink when propositioned at the club! Simply tells them "thanks, but no thanks". Unsurprising, since he's cool with Eddie's nonsense, but there's a difference between a straight guy hitting on you as a joke and a gay guy doing it for real. At least, for some it is. But not for Steve. Fuck, Eddie hopes he'll be back next tour. He's on his way to being Eddie's new best friend and he'd miss him.
Then, it's time – they're in Chicago and it's Steve's turn to pick. Some of the others grumble over the newbie getting such a big city at his disposal. Eddie doesn't blame them for suspecting favoritism – it's happened before – but not this time! It just became like this and Eddie has nothing to do with it! Ask the other band members.
(When he breaks the news to Steve, his hazel eyes light up. He asks, "Can a friend of mine come with?"
"Sure, man," Eddie says, clapping him on the shoulder.
Steve buzzes with excitement, giddier than a kid on Christmas morning. Fuck, he's so cute.)
That night after the show, as they're leaving for the 'organic bonding experience' (seriously, Chrissy? Of all the things you could call it...), they're met by a young woman outside the venue.
She's tall and skinny, like a giraffe, and that's all Eddie can tell at first glance because she rushes up and flings herself into Steve's embrace. They hug, they laugh, they might cry a little, and he even spins around with her in his arms.
(Girlfriend? She's certainly pretty enough for it.)
Once the heartwarming reunion is over, Steve introduces her as Robin, and tells her that it's his turn to pick a place for them to decompress but he's making it her choice. Robin spits out options with a speed none of them keep up with; Steve stops her, saying, "No, Robs. I'm making it your choice."
They share a look.
She gasps.
They grin, mischievously, and then...
She takes them to a lesbian club.
It's open to gay guys too, obviously, but clearly caters to lesbians. It's a smaller thing, the kind that entertains a steady line of regulars. Apparently, Robin and Steve are among these regulars, because the bartender greets them by name the moment they step inside.
They order their drinks and claim a booth. Robin is quick to instigate a discussion about what dorky things Steve has done while away from her. Eddie is happy to share while Steve laments he should've known better than to introduce them.
An hour or so in, Robin skitters off to catch up with a group of women, all varying degrees of butch. Not ten seconds later, someone new claims her seat (which is also Steve's lap). Eddie mistakes them for a girl at first, because they're small with a high-pitched voice, but no, it's just the twinkiest twink. He makes himself at home on Steve's thigh, pressing a kiss to Steve's cheek and squealing, "Stevie! I didn't know you were back!"
Steve laughs. "Hey, babe. Just for tonight. I'm here with my coworkers."
The twink twists around in Steve's lap. He really is girly-looking: soft jawline, slender build, shoulder-length blond waves, and huge eyes enhanced with makeup. He even smells like a woman, strawberry and jasmine.
"Oh! The rock band!" He extends a dainty hand. "Hi, I'm Brendan!"
Brendan sticks around for a while. Like Robin, he wants to know what Steve's been up to. Unlike Robin, he's more interested in awe-inspiring stories than embarrassing ones (unfortunate, for the latter kind heavily outweighs the former). He doesn't move from Steve's lap. Kind of weird, actually. Like, there are available seats. Yes, Robin also sat exclusively in Steve's lap, but that's different. They're best friends and it was chaste and cute. Brendan is... honestly, Eddie doesn't know who Brendan is. Some dude who's shameless enough to rub his ass on Steve's dick in full view of everyone. Yeah, you're not as subtle as you think, babe.
He doesn't even move when they get up to let another crew member go to the bathroom! No, Steve slides out of the booth still holding him, Brendan perched on his forearm. His muscles flex, a vein straining underneath the skin, but Steve's face is relaxed. As if the – small, sure, but still grown – man in his arms weighs nothing. More likely, Steve is just that used to carrying things.
For some reason, Eddie's mouth dries a little at the thought of it.
At last, Brendan leaves, but not before sweetly kissing Steve on the lips and telling him to "let me know when you're back for real, stud".
Steve promises with a laugh, then turns back to the table and rejoins the conversation as if it was nothing strange. As if making dates with other men happens to him all the time.
Shit.
The entire thing leaves something gnawing on Eddie. He holds it in while in the club. He holds it in when they escort Robin to her cab. He holds it in as they walk back to the tour buses.
Then the others are gone. It's just him and Steve left, lingering to smoke in the parking lot, and he can't hold it any longer.
"I didn't know you're gay!"
Smoothness, thy name is Eddie Munson.
Steve shrugs. "I'm not; I'm bisexual."
"Right, right."
Eddie takes a deep drag, putting some of the smoke in the wrong pipe and coughing it up. Steve thumps his back.
"Woah, man, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Eddie rasps, tears prickling his eyes. "So, um, is it okay? What we've been... The flirting?"
"Uh, yeah?" Steve tilts his head, eyebrows scrunching and, Jesus Christ, how can he be so adorable? "Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because!" Eddie gestures between the two of them. "You're bi, and I'm not, and is it offensive for me to...?"
Steve blinks at him, before bursting into laughter. Eddie feels the blush warming his neck.
"Don't be stupid," Steve says in between peals of giggles. "It's just a fun thing. S'not that deep. You don't have to lose sleep over it."
"Alright, man. Then I won't."
But he does.
That very night he finds himself tossing and turning. And thinking. Thinking about Steve. About Steve's strong arms and broad chest. About his square jaw and plush lips. About his thick hair and hooded eyes. About how the ugly polo shirts the techs wear look genuinely good on Steve, and about how his tight jeans leave little to the imagination. That particular line of thought has Eddie whimper and roll his hips against the mattress. Rachael's strap-on always felt kind of so-so. Was it because it was too rubbery or because it was too small?
He also thinks about what makes Steve Steve. Like Steve's selflessness, always the first to volunteer to do the tedious work so no one else has to. And Steve's barbed tongue, sharp enough to give even Eddie a run for his money. Eddie thinks about their easy banter, and how Dustin sings his praises, and how Steve let Robin pick a club when it was his turn.
After three consecutive nights of tossing, turning, thinking, and no sleep, Eddie comes to a horrifying conclusion.
It's not simply a question of 'want'. He's not just horny and curious. No, he likes Steve.
It makes things so fucking awkward. He has no idea how to act around Steve afterward. Falling for a crew member is bad enough (so unprofessional; Chrissy would definitely be on his case if she knew), but this is worse because he's a guy. Eddie's never been into guys before! Sure, there are men out there who are objectively hot. Eddie can admit that. But it's not the same. There are feelings involved here.
And the worst is that people notice. Steve notices. How can he not? When Eddie stops responding to their usual flirting, turning into a skittish bunny whenever Steve is close.
At first, it makes Steve pause. Tilt his head, scrunch his eyebrows, and pout in confusion (Eddie's heartbeat turns irregular every time he does). Then Steve pulls away, and Eddie's heart fucking breaks. The atmosphere among the crew turns tense; Peter starts sending him dirty looks that Eddie shrinks away from.
A few days into it, he's cornered by a pissed off Jeff.
"Dude, what's your problem?" he snaps; Eddie wants to sink into the ground. "I thought you were better than this. Who cares that Harrington is also into dudes? It's still Harrington! It won't kill you to treat him like you used to. No one is going to think you're gay for standing next to him."
Eddie croaks, "What if I am?"
"You- What?"
"What if... I like Steve?"
Jeff's jaw hits the floor. "What."
Eddie inhales deeply, staring at his wringing hands. "I like Steve. I've been thinking... After Chicago, I started to think about... And I realized I like him." A sob tears from his throat. "I don't know what I should-"
Jeff's arms wrap around him; Eddie buries his face in the crook of his neck.
"Jesus Christ," Jeff mutters, stroking Eddie's back. "Um, it's okay? We support you. No one will judge you! We love you all the same."
Eddie nods, Jeff's leather jacket squeaking with the movement. He's been wearing it since high school and it smells like home.
"I don't know how to act around him anymore," he sniffles.
"Why don't you tell him?"
Eddie recoils from the embrace to give Jeff his mightiest 'are you stupid for real' look. Jeff sighs at him.
"Oh, come on. You're his friend and a good-looking guy. Why not?" Jeff says, as if it's that easy. But...
"I'm not his type!"
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do! Didn't you see that Brendan guy?"
Jeff falters. He realizes Eddie is right. Because, yes, Eddie is pretty hot. He has the long hair and a pretty face, he's been told. But he's still a masculine guy. A blue-collar type with calluses on his hands and dirt under his nails. He's not a svelte, dainty, little twink – he's as tall as Steve is, with more tattoos than bare skin and who smells like sweat and tobacco badly masked with cheap cologne, not strawberries and jasmine. He doesn't wear makeup or do his hair and some days he just fucking picks a used shirt from his pile and maybe sniffs it before putting it on. He talks too much and too loud. His limbs flail when he's excited. He's not going to sweetly ask for flattering stories about Steve – his instinct is to tease him for calling one of the guys from Nip/Tuck 'Dr. McDreamy'. He's closer to Robin than he is to Brendan. Jesus Christ, he's in the same category as Steve's lesbian best friend! Or at least he was, before he shot their friendship to hell.
There's no hope.
The tour ends on a sourer note than previous ones. It's all Eddie's fault. He doesn't even stick around for the last 'organic bonding experience' – he gets into his car at the first opportunity and drives home.
And then comes the wallowing. Several tubs of ice cream are consumed as High Fidelity plays on loop on Eddie's TV. He writes dozens of miserable, yearning songs and screens his calls, not even picking up for Chrissy or Wayne. It's not until Dustin's cheerful lisp rings out from his answering machine that there's a change. He's inviting Eddie to come visit him and Suzie and the cats in Massachusetts, like he always does after a tour.
Eddie can't turn that down. Besides, he probably needs to get out of the house.
So he goes, and it's nice. Dustin is still a little shit, Suzie is a pearl, the cats are cuddly, and Eddie is a good enough faker to mask his emotional state – his hosts notice nothing amiss.
Then, halfway through his visit, Eddie returns from his walk and who does he find unpacking their car in Dustin and Suzie's driveway?
Can you guess? I think you can.
It's Robin!
And Steve. They're a package deal, you know.
And Dustin's like, "Eddie! They're here! Oh, did I forget to tell you they were coming? Oops. Well, you already know them, so it's fine."
And Eddie is panicking, and Robin is trying to murder him with her mind, and Steve is just like,
"Hey."
Coldly polite.
Eddie hides in his guest room until dinner time. When he comes out, he expects Dustin to chew him out for being an asshole homophobe and kick him out of his life permanently.
But he doesn't. Dinner is as usual, if Steve Harrington ignoring you and Robin Buckley glaring at you is part of your usual dinner experience.
After cleaning up, Steve steps outside to smoke. Eddie, figuring he has to take some responsibility, follows him. Steve is standing on the deck, elbows resting on the wooden railing, his back to the house. He straightens up and turns when Eddie closes the screen door behind him. The sun has set, but the moon is out; Steve's profile is sharp in the pale moonlight, his posture sure. The cherry of his cigarette makes shadows and flames flicker dramatically over his features, highlighting the edges and the curves and he's so fucking gorgeous Eddie forgets how to breathe. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
He slinks over, Steve's gaze following him.
"Hi," Eddie says.
"Hi," Steve says.
"You didn't..." Eddie swallows. "You didn't tell Dustin?"
Steve frowns. "No. It's between us. For now, at least."
"Oh."
Shuddering, Eddie wraps his arms around himself. It's late summer and still warmish as long as there's no wind. Right now it's windless, the cold coming from within.
"I wanted to talk."
Steve hums, noncommittal.
"I wanted to apologize."
Another hum, more interested.
"I'm sorry. For how I acted. I've been an asshole and you don't deserve any of that."
Eddie glances up to gauge Steve's reaction, and oh. The whole evening, Steve's been aloof, cordially keeping Eddie at arm's length, but now...
Now he just looks sad.
A few weeks ago, they were close enough for Eddie to hug him when he looked like this. Eddie would crush his own heart with a sledgehammer if it meant they'll go back to that.
He says, "We haven't known each other for long, but you're already one of my best friends. Then it got weird at the end and-"
Steve's face hardens again, eyes tapering with anger.
"Things didn't 'get weird', Eddie. You made them weird. What the fuck?"
And Eddie takes a deep breath and says,
"I like you."
Shock colors Steve's expression; he takes a step back. It takes everything to stop Eddie from following in an attempt to reel him back in.
"I don't know when it started," he says, the confession tumbling out. "I always liked you? You're a good guy and fun to hang with and a great friend, and I guess you were hot, but a ton of guys are hot and it doesn't have to mean anything. I can be straight and still think guys are hot, you know? But then, in Chicago, you came out and I started seeing you differently. So, huh, turns out, in my case? Thinking guys are hot does mean something. And I freaked out because I didn't know what to do. Being close to you made me so nervous, and I couldn't tell you how I felt because just because you like guys doesn't mean you like me, and I already know your type is cute little blond twinks, and-"
"I actually prefer brunets," Steve says.
Eddie chokes on what else he had to say. He looks up at Steve, who's smiling. Kind of shy but mostly bright, eyes crinkling at the corners. His cigarette is almost down to the filter; Steve drops and snuffs it out without looking away from Eddie. His eyes are like gold, glittering.
"Y-you what?"
"I don't really have a type," Steve says, stepping closer. "I like who I like." Another step. "But, uh, most of my relationships have been with brunets." Another step, then stop – they're nose to nose. "Nerdy ones."
Eddie's head spins. He squeaks, "Oh?"
Steve nods. "I like smart, passionate people. And I..." He giggles. "I've had a crush on you since the beginning."
Eddie's head fucking explodes. It leaves a gash in his face that stretches from ear to ear. A breeze blows past, caressing his burning cheeks. It's his turn to giggle.
"You're fucking with me."
Steve tilts his head, but doesn't scrunch his brow this time. No, it remains smooth, but his eyelids droop as his eyes roam Eddie's body.
"So far, only in my head."
Eddie sputters. He grabs a fistful of hair and pulls it in front of his red face. Steve, the bastard, laughs at him. He reaches out, coaxing the locks out of Eddie's grip and tucks them behind his ear. There's an endlessness in his gaze; simultaneously looking through Eddie and at him. Seeing him from every angle, especially the ugly ones, but touching him just as tenderly anyway.
Eddie wets his lips. Since he caused the distance in the first place, it only seems fair he takes the last step. "Do you want to go out with me?" he asks. "A date?"
Steve leans in until they touch from forehead to nose tip.
"Yes," he says. "I do."
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