#it's SO funny. like so funny that we're supposed to take it seriously

[milfbro]

phillip k dick doesn't like women so this is nothing new, but the Golden Man short story was literally the single worst science fiction short story I've ever read

[ahaura]

you blame the userbase because they tell you your shitty new feature which frankly should be rescinded and replaced with the legacy editor fucks with gifsets and image quality on the dashboard ON THE GIFSET WEBSITE. THE SITE GIFS ARE MADE TO BE POSTED ON. like alsjskajdaljsslaks what the fuck?

[onlyhuis]

leaning on the everlasting arms

member — childhood best friend! pastor's son!joshua x f reader genre — angst, smut, some fluff, bible college au word count — 10.3k (my first fic over 10k wowie!!) synopsis — as kids growing up in the same church, you and joshua were inseperable, until you got to an age where it was considered immoral for girls and boys to be friends. when you find him again just before graduation, he's different than you remember; but so are you. content warnings — female reader, she/her, reader is implied to be smaller (i'm sorry), discussion of gender roles & religion, no religion is mentioned by name but it's heavily implied to be a form of christianity, reader & shua are both seniors in college, reader wears skirts/dresses but not really by choice, this whole thing is pretty blasphemous oops smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, virgin!joshua x virgin!reader, mutual masturbation, phone sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (reader receiving), hints of a voice kink, size kink, praise, begging, really vanilla missionary but it's hot, nicknames (sweetheart, baby, angel) notes — although i am no longer religious, this is partially based off of my own experiences with the extremely traditional christian church i was raised in. however, please keep in mind that this is fiction and does not reflect my beliefs nor joshua's beliefs so don't take the plot too seriously. this piece is not meant to discuss whether certain religions are "right" or "wrong" so please do not comment/send me asks trying to start a debate! we're all just here for a little sexy time with shua it's not that deep note #2 — for those who aren't familiar, the title is the name of a hymn and i thought it was funny bc joshua big sexy arms hehehe

as far back as you could remember, joshua was your closest friend.

his father was the pastor of the church your family went to, and as luck would have it you were both in the same grade, so it wasn’t long before you became inseparable. you saw him at minimum three times a week: sunday morning, sunday evening, wednesday evening.

you spent most of your childhood together. sitting next to each other at every service, sharing your bibles with each other whenever one of you left them at home, sneaking donuts away from the box at the table outside the sermon hall that was supposed to only be for the adults.

you did everything together, and told each other everything. that is, until you reached middle school. boys and girls weren’t allowed to sit in the same services anymore, and you had to stay in separate buildings for every church camp and conference. 

the worst part was you didn’t even understand why. what did they think you were gonna do with him? kiss him? no amount of money in the world could get you to do that! joshua was your best friend. who else were you supposed to climb trees and build forts and sneak donuts with? kissing was stupid.

when you asked your mom about it, she told you the same thing everyone else did: about how men of god had a different path and needed to hear different messages in order to grow up to lead their own churches one day. you thought it was stupid. what if a woman wanted to lead a church, why are men the ones that have to do it? but she would just shake her head and tell you it's just the way things work in the church, you'll understand when you're older.

you were allowed near him less and less until the only time you were able to see him was at the after-service brunch with his family, and even then that began to happen less and less as the years went on.

and of course it was church rules, so there was no arguing with them because that would mean arguing with god, and who were you to question his authority? there would be no special exception for you, no matter how much you protested to your mom that you would never, ever think about joshua like that. in a fit of anger one day you blew up at her, shouting that she had had friends of the opposite gender when she was in high school, so why couldn’t you? it wasn’t fair. but she had just sighed and stared out the window, clearly ending the conversation. many years passed before she finally told you about her life before she came to church, recalling all the times she had been hurt by men she had loved and trusted. you understood then why she had wanted to keep you sheltered and safe, but you still didn’t agree. but then again, if you had been allowed to do what you wanted then maybe things would never have ended up the way they did. perhaps you have her to thank.

back then, all you could do was hold on to the little time you had with him until eventually you stopped seeing him altogether. 

more summers passed and you started spending all of your time memorizing bible verses with your fellow “women of christ”, missing the way you used to spend your time with your best friend.

but then you went off to bible college like had always been planned for you, and everything changed. instead of continuing to follow the strict schedule that was laid out for you, you finally got a little taste of freedom, and you realized what you’d been missing all this time. everything that you’d been taught was sinful, evil, wicked, was what brought you more pleasure than you’d ever known was possible.

you still had to pretend to be a good girl for the people around you, who, for reasons you couldn’t comprehend, were still dedicated to their life of purity. or at least they acted like it. maybe everyone was secretly just like you, hiding their sins behind a friendly smile and a firm handshake every sunday morning.

you weren’t hurting anyone with the things you did in private, and the feeling of rebellion was a kind of satisfaction you didn’t know you were allowed to feel. you were an adult, making your own choices now and facing whatever consequences that came with them.

there was only one consequence. for some reason, all the impure thoughts you had always centered around joshua. no matter what dirty books you read or videos you watched, the man you always pictured giving it to you was joshua.

you hated that after all these years, everything still came back to him. you fought it, tried imagining actors or celebrities in his place instead; characters from your books and movies and shows, anyone but him. you wanted to save whatever memories you had left of him, think of him in a good light like you used to when you were younger, but the way he plagued your mind was worse than the ones in the book of exodus.

but now, in your final year of college, you thought you had finally gotten yourself under control.

that is, until you were leaving one of your bible lectures and all the control you’d convinced yourself that you had crumbled away in mere seconds when you saw a startlingly familiar face standing by the door. a face you hadn’t seen in far too long. 

“joshua?”

“hey,” he says with a smile, like no time has passed at all. like it’s been hours since you’ve seen each other, not years. 

there are so many things you want to say, so many things you want to ask him, but you’re frozen in place. why is he here? where has he been? how did he find you again?

“it’s been a while,” he says with an awkward laugh when you don’t say anything.

you nod, still in a daze. “yeah. quite a while.”

he smiles. “well, anyway, i’ve got a meeting to go to in a bit, but… i just wanted to see you.”

“oh,” you say. what else is there to say? what can you say to make up for the years lost that you’ll never get back?

he looks at his watch, the conversation clearly coming to an end.

“can i give you my phone number?” he says. a deep shade of pink creeps into his cheeks but he either doesn’t notice or purposely doesn’t acknowledge it. “maybe we can talk sometime, catch up.”

“i– yeah,” you manage. god, it’s so good seeing him again. “yeah, that would be really nice.”

you’ve given up on homework for the night, spending your entire afternoon in a daze since you ran into joshua.

so many years, yet you still can’t get his smile out of your head.

you close your eyes, hand dipping below the waistband of your pajama pants automatically. it’s frightening how easily you’re able to bring up a picture of him in your mind, so much clearer than before now that you’ve seen what he looks like all grown up.

and grown up, he has. you had been too stunned to get a good look at him while he was in front of you, but the way he’d changed was immediately apparent and the image in your brain now feels almost unreal. 

his hair was a little longer and a little darker, and he was much taller, with broad shoulders that looked way too perfect in a suit jacket. but his face hadn’t changed a bit. maybe his jaw was a little bit sharper and his smile lines were a little bit deeper, but his eyes were the same ones you had always known. 

your hand slips lower and lower until you’re gently running the tips of your fingers over the panel of your underwear covering your pussy, moaning quietly when you feel how wet you are already.

no wonder it’s been so hard for you to focus all day. you’ve been too busy pushing away thoughts of joshua burying his fingers in your tight, wet cunt, cooing about how good you’re being for him and how long he’s waited for you.

automatically you feel your other hand grabbing for your phone, desperate to hear his voice again. you hadn’t said more than a few sentences to him earlier, but you feel like you’ll go crazy if you don’t hear him while you’re in this state. so needy for him and only him, and he doesn’t even know it.

your fingers shake as you press the buttons, knowing you’re about to get yourself into a whole world of trouble but not being able to stop yourself.

“hey.” he answers on the second ring. his tone is deep and husky, and your breath catches in your throat for a second, not used to hearing him talk like that; the last time you heard his voice was long before puberty, and you’re still navigating how to talk to this older, sexier joshua.

your first thought is to wonder if his morning voice sounds equally as sexy, but you’re immediately pushing it out of your head when you hear what sounds like him stifling a yawn.

“sorry, did i wake you? it– it’s not important,” you start, ashamed of how needy you are that you’d call him in the middle of the damn night, unprovoked, like some kind of bible group booty call.

the regret is already starting to set in. he probably hasn’t changed as much as you've built him up in your mind, probably still the obedient gentleman he was before. he’s probably already well on his way to being the head of a church, so of course he wouldn’t be thinking about you like that—

“no. it’s fine,” he says, interrupting your thoughts. “always have time for you, sweetheart. what’s up?”

you shove down the butterflies that flutter up in your stomach at the name he calls you, a nickname he always called you when you were kids because he was taught it was always polite to talk sweet to a lady. 

except it feels so much different now. talking sweet to a lady as kids was easy, innocent. but one wrong word now would completely change the meaning behind those pretty words of his, and you aren’t sure how to feel about it.

“i… just– it’s been so long, joshie,” you whisper, surprised at the sudden feeling of tears springing up behind your eyes. you didn’t mean for this to happen— you didn’t mean for any of it to happen. not back then, and certainly not now.

he lets the line go quiet, finally sighing into the phone after a long pause. “i missed you… so much.” he murmurs your name, and the way the rumble in his voice goes straight through you immediately reminds you why you called him in the first place.

your free hand toys with the hem of your underwear again, fighting to keep down the whimper that threatens to escape you. “missed you too,” you breathe out. god, you can’t believe you’re doing this. but for the first time in years, the man you’ve been picturing in your head is right here with you, fulfilling some of your fantasies that you never thought could ever come true.

somewhere deep in your stomach you feel guilty about it, getting off to the thought of him and he doesn’t even know it. would he want to know? would he be okay with it? would he hate you forever if he knew?

he clears his throat, snapping you back to attention and you realize you must’ve been silent for a while, thinking.

“um, so, what are you doing?” you ask, trying to seem casual, but it comes out as anything but. nobody calls anyone this late at night and asks what they’re doing without having a dirty reason for doing so. 

all you can do is hope he’s either too innocent to pick up on it, or that he doesn’t believe you’re the type of person who would call for something like that. you wonder if he still thinks of you as that perfect little obedient church girl he grew up with.

“nothing, just–working on… stuff,” he replies awkwardly. clearly he doesn’t want to go into detail about what he’s doing, and you’re already afraid you’ve interrupted his sleep; you’re mentally kicking yourself for all the blunders you’ve made, and you haven’t even been on the phone for five minutes.

“what are you doing?” he asks back, and you freeze, trying to come up with some excuse, anything. fuck, think of something!

“h-homework,” you sputter out, attempting to hide your unconfident answer with a cough.

apparently it works, because he hums in response, the line falling quiet. you hear the rustling of papers on his end, and you press your fingers harder against your cunt, heartbeat racing in your ears.

your fingers brush against your clit a little rougher than you intend, and a little whine escapes your lips, catching you off guard. you slap a hand over your mouth, hoping it had been too quiet for him to hear and he hadn’t been paying attention.

“are you…?” he asks suddenly, and your cheeks flush, caught red-handed in your sinful act.

you clear your throat, praying (both metaphorically and literally) that he doesn’t notice anything off about you. “am i what?”

his silence on the other end of the phone speaks volumes.

“joshua, oh my god, no, i–”

“what did you just say?”

you freeze. “what… did i say?”

when he speaks again, his tone is even. “don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”

that nickname again, and now you know he’s doing it on purpose. innocent, pretty words, completely changed in a split second.

you let out a short laugh, scrambling to find a cover. “must’ve forgot then.”

he hums. “i remember you spent a whole month trying to memorize the ten commandments. we must’ve been what, eight or nine? you wouldn’t have forgotten. i may not have seen you since we were kids, but i’ve still known you most of my life.”

“it was an accident, you know how it is. just slips out. of course i remember them all.”

he tsks, and it feels like your heart stops. “did you forget that lying is a sin, too? you’re two for two now, wanna try for a third?”

damn him! damn his good memory and damn his stupid witty comebacks and damn the way he so quickly manages to unravel you.

you scowl and don’t respond to his question, your silence enough of an answer for joshua to know he’s right.

“why did you call me tonight?” he asks calmly.

you answer truthfully this time. “just wanted to hear your voice again. i really did miss you.”

the phone goes quiet again, and for a second you’re afraid he’s hung up, but then you hear him exhale. “it’s late. what are you doing?”

“i’m in bed, josh. don’t worry, father, i’m not staying up past my bedtime.”

he chooses to ignore your remark. “in bed doing what?”

you give him a half-suppressed laugh. “in bed laying down. what else would i be doing?”

“well, with the way you were trying to hide your moans earlier, i would’ve figured you were doing something more exciting. but if you’re just laying down, then i don't want to keep you long, might as well hang up…”

“no!” you squeak out, cutting him off. you swallow, trying to collect yourself as you repeat the word. “no. fine, whatever, you caught me. but– please, stay.” you can hear the plea in your voice and you know you should be embarrassed at how pathetic you sound, but you aren't. the only thing you can think about is joshua, joshua, joshua, and how good it feels to talk to him again.

“i’m here,” he says softly, and you let your eyes close with a sigh, relieved he’s not going to chastise you. but as much as you’ve both changed as you grew up, deep down you knew he wouldn’t. you figure you could do just about anything and he wouldn’t try to tell you what to do. he’d always been like that, and it’s what you’d loved about him; he never tried to control you or shame you for not acting like the perfect little angel everybody wanted you to be. 

you couldn’t say the same about others in the church. maybe that’s why you’d started to drift away from them and why joshua’s friendship coming to an end had left you so devastated. he had been the one and only person you could always count on, and they had not.

“are you still there?” he asks gently, and you realize you’ve been quiet for too long thinking.

“yeah,” you say finally.

“are you still touching yourself?”

you pause, stifling a gasp, taken aback by his forwardness. hearing him say it out loud made everything seem so real, the realization setting in about what you’re actually doing. “n– no.”

and it’s true. your hand has long since dropped away from your pajama pants, too nervous about being discovered to continue.

“well, why not?” he says. “don’t stop on my account.”

your mouth falls open. “i–”

“clearly you wanted something from me when you called. what is it, sweetheart? i can’t help you if i don’t know what it is you want.”

your brain practically short circuits at that, and it takes a very long minute for you to collect your thoughts into a coherent sentence. you want a lot of things, but you don’t know what’s okay to say or not or if he even wants to keep going. which is a silly thought, because he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know. it dawns on you that maybe… maybe he’s curious, maybe he’s thinking about you, too.

“what kind of help?” you ask, still testing the waters. you think you have an idea of what he means, but you ask anyway. you’ve never done anything like this with anyone else, only by yourself; not because you didn’t want to, but because you didn’t want it to be with someone who wasn’t joshua.

“you said you wanted to hear my voice,” he says, and you swear his tone has dropped an octave. “then let me talk to you.”

you whine a little, still holding back but not putting in as much effort to hide it. “m’kay.”

“would it make you feel better if i told you i’m hard right now?”

you suck in a breath. “yeah?”

“yeah,” he says. “just thinking about you.”

you feel a rush of emotion at his admittance. pride? satisfaction? whatever it is, it makes your cunt throb, knowing that just the thought of you can get him going.

finally you dare to slide your hand down your pants again, unsurprised when you find your underwear sticking to you with how wet you are. you’re soaking, and you haven’t even done anything yet.

“hold on,” you manage, putting the call on speaker as you set your phone on the table beside your bed, scrambling to shove your pants and ruined panties off and onto the floor.

once free, you pick up your phone and turn off the speaker, holding it to your ear with shaky hands.

“all ready now?” he asks softly, and it reminds you of what he used to say before you’d play pretend games together. always making sure you were ready. he was hot back then, too, and you mentally curse yourself for never realizing it sooner.

you hum. “mhm. comfortable.”

“good,” he says, and you can almost hear him smiling. “go ahead and do whatever you’d like. but i want you to tell me what you’re thinking about right now.”

you squirm a little on the bed as you start to circle your clit with your fingers. “thinking about you, joshua,” you sigh, finally beginning to feel relief.

“yeah?”

“yeah. you look even better than i thought you would,” you groan, picking up your pace a little as you slip your index finger inside your walls.

he chuckles. “oh, really?”

“mhm. god, i never thought i’d be doing this. especially not with you.”

“and why is that, baby?”

the name makes you shiver. you’d imagined him calling you it many times, but hearing him actually say it is completely different.

“because—” you whimper, losing your train of thought when your brain suddenly pictures his fingers inside you instead of your own. “i’m so close already, please—”

his tone is gentle but firm. “i want you to stop now.”

“but– ah, feels so good, shua,” you say, moans spilling out of you, finally letting him hear everything you’ve been holding back.

you hear him curse in that low voice through the phone, and your hand stills for a split second in shock, your eyes widening. as far as you knew, he never swore. but then again, there were a lot of things he never did that you're discovering about him now. looks like you weren’t the only one who changed over the years.

“that’s not my name.”

you sit up a little in confusion, pushing your phone closer to your ear to make sure you’re hearing him right. “huh?”

“my name is joshua. if you’re gonna moan like a sinner about how good it feels when i tell you how to touch yourself, you better use my name properly.” he sounds almost angry, but it only spurs you on even further.

you let his words sink for a second before responding. “yes, sir.”

“fuck,” he moans, he actually moans, and if you weren’t already so far gone you would’ve stopped to listen closer, to ingrain the noise in your brain so you never again forget how he sounds. “what did i just tell you?”

“what, you don’t like being called ‘sir’? thought you wanted to be a pastor, joshua,” you say with a smirk, and you know he hears the mischief in your voice, daring him to give you what you want.

it’s probably a good thing he’s not physically in the room with you, because there's no way you would have been able to muster up the courage to say something like that to his face. you wouldn’t have dared to even look him in the eyes, but being on the phone gives you a head rush. because with only his voice and not seeing his face, you can convince yourself that he still isn’t real, that this whole phone call and even your meeting earlier had just been an elaborate figment of your horny imagination, your denial being the only thing saving your last shred of dignity.

“didn’t realize you’d grow up to be even more of a brat than you were before,” he scoffs, and your cunt pulses. 

“what are you doing right now?” you say, a little desperately. the change of subject isn’t very subtle but you don’t care. you won’t lie, you’ve been curious since the start of what he’s doing but he’s been so focused on you he hasn’t said anything about himself. you want to know everything about him— how he’s moving his hands, where he puts pressure, what he thinks about to get himself closer and closer.

he grunts unceremoniously. “i’m fucking my hand and pretending it’s you.”

“me too,” you whimper, closing your eyes as you focus on the movement of your fingers.

after a while he stops responding, and you can hear his heavy breaths over the line matching with your own gasps for air as you curl your fingers inside of you. you figure he must be getting close, but you ask him anyway, because you want to hear him say it.

“yeah– fuck, so close,” he chokes out, and the way his voice gets higher as he lets out a whimper is what finally makes you come undone.

with a moan of his name—his full name—you cum, clenching around your fingers as you struggle to keep your hand moving. your wrist is starting to cramp up a little from the position you’ve been in, but the pleasure coursing through you is more than worth it. it’s almost dizzying, more powerful than any orgasm you’ve had before and when you finally remove your fingers from your aching cunt your head is spinning and your heart is pounding.

you can hear a muffled string of curses through the phone and you know he’s right behind you. thoughts of him sitting on his bed run rampant in your head, imagining his stomach covered in milky cum and his pretty, pretty lips parted as he catches his breath.

the silence is heavy as you feel yourself come back down from your high. you struggle to find something to say after… whatever that just was, so you say the only thing that’s on your mind.

“i really did miss you, joshua,” you say quietly. unlike before, there’s not a hint of teasing in the way you say his name now.

and he sighs contentedly, finally hearing his name on your lips like he always wanted to. “i know. i missed you too.”

you both say your goodbyes and good nights quickly, still basking in enough of the remnants of your orgasms to not be too awkward about it. but after you’re settled in bed (for real, this time) and about to fall asleep, you can’t help but wonder if things between you and joshua will ever be anything but awkward.

a memory surfaces: you and joshua running around at the park behind the church after a sunday evening service, no older than kindergarteners, laughing and playing until you collapse on the grass. your mom called for you both to get ready to go home, and no you’re not allowed to have a sleepover because it’s a school night but maybe this weekend if his mom is okay with it. before you ran off, he thrust his pinky out towards you and you shook on it, making a pact to always be best friends, even when you can’t have sleepovers. it didn’t ever occur to either of you that there might come a day where you wouldn’t be best friends.

you don’t remember what prompted him to make the pinky promise, but you know he’s never broken it. and you can only hope that he hasn’t forgotten it.

it’s a few days later at one of your bible study groups when you see him next, and yet again you’re caught off-guard like a deer in headlights.

you’re sitting with a group of other ladies, annotating material for a test you couldn’t care less about when you hear your name called out– a familiar deep voice you can only pray doesn’t belong to who you think it belongs to.

oh, but it does belong to him, alright. it feels like you’ve gotten the wind knocked out of you when you turn around and see joshua standing behind you, a warm smile on his face that makes you doubt anything ever happened. maybe it really was all just a delirious dream, too many years of yearning built up into one intense wet dream.

he puts a hand on your shoulder lightly, turning you away from the rest of the ladies. “hey, can we talk somewhere?”

and oh shit it was definitely not a dream.

your cheeks burn as you excuse yourself from the table, packing up your bible and pens and shoving everything in your bag as quickly as you can. you can almost hear the snickering already, the gossips whispering to each other that you must have done something unspeakable if the top-student, pastor’s son, joshua hong has to speak with you privately. ah, if only they knew.

you only wish you could go back there and wipe the smirks off of all their faces and tell them about what the perfect little gentlemen they all pretend they don’t have crushes on was doing on the phone with you last night. you wouldn’t do that, not in a million years, but just the thought of it is satisfaction enough. 

joshua leads you down the hall to a room that looks like an empty office. he opens the door for you, then closes it softly behind you.

“whose is this?” you ask, glancing around the room. 

“it’s… mine,” he says almost shyly, gesturing idly to a little engraved nameplate on the desk. joshua hong, pastor’s assistant. because of fucking course he would be.

“oh.”

he clears his throat, and in that moment you realize he’s just as nervous as you are. “listen…” he starts, taking a pause. “about the other night–”

“are you gonna kick me out?” you interrupt.

his brows knit together in confusion. “what?”

“are you gonna expel me?”

“no?” he says, still looking at you, baffled. “why would i do that? i don’t even think i have the power to, even if i wanted. which, for the record, i don’t.”

you don’t reply, focusing your gaze on the carpet instead.

he frowns. “is that really how you think of me? that i just go around tattling to my dad? from that… conversation, i thought it was clear i’m not like that anymore.”

the tips of your ears are burning at the memory of all the things you said to each other over the phone. but it never occurred to you that maybe he was just as sinful as you had been.

you stay quiet, the silence stretching on as shame and embarrassment and a hundred other emotions swirl in your mind and you struggle to figure out what to say.

luckily for you he fills the silence himself. he exhales, looking down at a stack of papers on the desk. “god, you… you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought about you all the time.”

“so did i,” you manage to whisper. “in more ways than you know.”

he gives you a teasing smile. “oh, i have a feeling i do know.”

you hold back a cough and look away, focusing your attention on a painting of flowers on the wall. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“if that’s how you wanna play this, fine.”

your curiosity piques, and you look back at him. he motions to the seat in front of the desk, wordlessly asking you to sit. hesitantly you do, and he starts to sit down at the swivel chair behind the desk, but you clear your throat and he glances up.

“can– can you not sit over there?” you ask softly. “feels like i’m being scolded.”

his expression softens a little, and he rolls the chair back into place, opting to sit next to you instead. “of course.”

except maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to do that, because now he’s sitting toe to toe with you and the closeness is overwhelming. at least on the other side of the desk there was enough distance for you to shrink and hide behind, but here, sitting like this, he can see all of you. and you don’t particularly want to be seen right now.

the tension is palpable as he takes his seat, still watching you. you take the moment to study his features: the slope of his nose and the gentle curve of his lips, the way the light catches on his long eyelashes and the way his broad shoulders look in that perfectly tailored sunday morning service suit.

“i always liked you,” he starts, and your gaze shoots up to his eyes. you open your mouth to ask something, but he shakes his head and you immediately fall silent, letting him finish. “i was almost glad when they made us go to different sunday school classes, because i wouldn’t have to sit there and pretend i didn’t have the craziest crush on you.”

“joshua, i–” you trail off, not even knowing what to say.

he pauses, as if debating his next words. “and i know it’s wrong, but i couldn’t get you out of my head when i… y’know.” his cheeks are flushed but he doesn’t look away from you, eyes searching your own for any hesitance or any sign that you don’t want this.

it’s then that you realize that the boldness you had felt hiding behind your phone, he had felt it too. saying words alone in your room at night was easy. sitting in public, in the daylight, and saying those same words to his face was so much scarier. and knowing that you’re both feeling awkward and shy and a little uncertain of how to talk about it gives you the confidence to keep going.

“when you would what?” you pry. you already know the answer but you want to hear it come out of his mouth anyway. you’ve already heard him say it, but something about sitting in his office, in a church, speaking such filth ignites a spark in you that’s completely different from the spark you felt a few nights ago.

he clears his throat and looks you in the eye, maybe gaining a little bit of that confidence, too. “when i would jerk off i would always wish it was your sweet little mouth instead of my own hand.”

you inhale sharply, and that’s when he finally breaks eye contact, his guilt-ridden gaze shifting to the wall behind you as his cheeks burn redder. “i didn’t feel good about it. felt like i was doing it without your permission, and i didn’t want that. i–”

“yes,” you say hurriedly.

he stops short at your interruption, instantly looking back at you. “yes…?”

“yes, you have my permission. whatever you want, joshua, always.”

his eyes narrow, almost imperceptibly, but you recognize it. even after all these years, after so much has changed, you still know his tells. you wonder if he still knows yours.

he murmurs your name in response, almost like a warning. “don’t say stuff like that,” he says, letting out a shaky breath.

“why not?” you ask, feigning innocence. but you know exactly what you’re doing, and you know exactly how you affect him: the same way he affects you.

he looks up at you. “you really are just as much of a brat as you were back then, aren’t you?” he says with just a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

“why don’t you find out?”

he groans, leaning back in his chair. “do you know how long i’ve wanted to kiss you?” he says finally.

“probably just as long as i’ve wanted to kiss you,” you counter, and he raises an eyebrow.

you both stand up at the same moment, closing the distance in less than a second. 

you stare at his chest in front of you to avoid his eyes, until he brings up a hand and gently tilts your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“are– you gonna get in trouble?” you breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stare at his perfect, perfect lips.

he hums, and it sends a shiver down your spine at the close proximity. “are you still giving me permission?” he asks, and you quickly shake your head yes. 

“always.”

he smooths his thumb across your cheek. “then i won’t be in any trouble at all."

and then his hand moves to hold the back of your neck and he's tilting his head and bringing his lips towards yours and then finally, after years of dreaming about it and even more years of denying it, you're finally kissing joshua and there's so many things happening at once that you can't seem to focus on anything because your mind is so full of everything and nothing and joshua and it all just feels so right.

you’re melting in his arms and falling into his touch and enjoying every fucking second of it. your heart speeds up when his hands slide behind your back, wrapping around your body to pull you closer to him, pressed chest to chest.

he pulls away to kiss you again, and again, and again, and you decide you’d be content to be like this forever, standing in his office in the church building making out like you’re the only two people on earth. 

but finally his lips leave yours, and he takes a tiny step backwards, heaving out a shaky breath as he looks you in the eyes. “what are we gonna do now?”

your heart plummets, doubts racing through your mind. did he not like it? does he not like you? did you really just ruin everything? why did he stop? why did he ask that—

but all your questions are answered in an instant when he coughs and you look down, finally noticing the prominent bulge in his dress pants. oh. that.

when you look back up at him his cheeks are flushed bright red, and he immediately begins to apologize.

“shua,” you call out to him, repeating his name the way you know he likes. “joshua. don’t worry about it. it’s fine.”

in fact, you find it incredibly flattering, that just a few kisses and gentle touches could get him this worked up. maybe it really has been you all along.

with a surge of confidence, you step back towards him, wrapping your arms around him and leaning to kiss him. “are you busy today?” you murmur, your cheek brushing against his.

he shudders, hands automatically finding your waist and pushing your hips against his own. “no. are you?”

you sigh, kissing the corner of his mouth. “not anymore.”

“fuck,” he curses, his grip on your body tightening “you really want to…?” he asks, almost shyly, as if he’s in denial this is really happening.

“absolutely,” you say, and you’ve never meant anything more in your life.

in a second he’s got you shoved against his desk, sending papers flying to the floor as he lifts you by your ass to sit you down on top of it. your kisses turn rougher and needier, your hands grabbing at anything you can reach to ground yourself: his hair, his shoulders, his back.

finally he breaks free, dropping to his knees in front of the desk. “please, let me eat you out.”

you moan out loud, probably too loudly for the thin walls of the office. but the visual of him on his knees to do anything other than pray drives you mad, and you need more of him, desperately. “joshua, please.”

he pushes your skirt up your thighs, moving it out of his way so he can stare eye to eye with your pussy. you whimper and instinctively try to hide your face in embarrassment, but something tells you he wouldn’t like that, so you resist, keeping your hands firmly planted on the edge of the desk.

“fuck, you’re soaking,” he says, his voice broken. “you’re so perfect.”

his hands reach up to tug at the hem of your underwear, and he looks up at you, silently asking for permission to continue. you nod eagerly, lifting your hips off the desk so he can slide them off of you, revealing your glistening entrance.

he whines at the sight, pretty lips parted in shock? awe? as if he can’t wait to taste you. he pushes his face into your pussy, gently at first, but when you moan and bring your hand up to his hair he dives deeper.

the moment he attaches his mouth to your clit, you jump, gasping as you try to shut your legs around his head but his large hands keep you held open. his tongue explores every inch of you, moving back and forth, up and down, mapping out your cunt with his mouth. 

“fuck, never dreamed you’d taste so good,” he sighs against your pussy, leaning away to take a breath after what feels like forever.

your legs are shaking and your cunt is throbbing as you also try to catch your breath. you’re not used to being touched like this and you’re definitely not used to being touched by joshua. so many thoughts running through your head and not a single one of them coherent enough to put into words. all you can do is weakly whine out joshua’s name and tug on his hair, pleading for him to keep going. you need release, and you don’t want it from anyone but him.

he stands up, his pants wrinkled from kneeling on the floor but still tented with a bulge so uncomfortably large you feel dizzy just thinking about it. you don’t even know if he’s going to fuck you or even if he wants to, but god you want to see his cock so bad. too many restless nights spent thinking about it, and now you might finally have the chance to see it in front of your face.

your mouth waters at the thought, and you start to slide off the desk, but joshua stops you. “what are you…?”

you look up at him, eyes blown wide with lust and you don’t even attempt to hide your eagerness. “please let me suck your dick. joshua, please.”

he whines, running a hand through his hair. “god, i want that so bad, but… i don’t think i can last if you do, and i was really hoping to fuck you.”

you close your eyes and roll your head back, moaning at his vulgar confession. but he sighs, and he sounds almost defeated, and you look back at him quickly, afraid he’s suddenly changed his mind.

“i’m not—prepared,” he admits, and you tilt your head in confusion before it sinks in what he means.

“ah. don’t suppose you would have any condoms lying around, would you, mr. pastor’s assistant?” you ask playfully, and he shoots you a glare.

“brat,” he mutters under his breath, but you hear it, and your walls clench in response. “no, i don’t have any. not interested in anybody else, so… no reason to.” he looks like he has more to say, more serious things to say, but he keeps his mouth shut, his eyes searching your face nervously.

your stomach flips at his words, feeling your cheeks heating up. you hadn’t thought you would ever get this far, and especially not with him. because of the kind of school you were at, it wasn’t like the people here were doing the kind of things you’ve been doing—at least not publicly. even if you’d wanted to hook up with somebody (which you didn’t), everyone in your vicinity would shame you for even bringing it up. you may have experience with yourself, but anything with anyone else is completely new territory for you.

you fall silent, not sure how to continue the conversation as all your newfound confidence begins to crumble. what were you thinking? caught up in the heat of the moment, saying things you weren’t sure you meant. you were in love with him: that much you were sure of. but everything that comes after that is too new, too scary, at least for right now. you can barely even comprehend that he just went down on you, but you know you enjoyed it and honestly, you’d give anything for him to do it again. but there’s too much going on inside your head for you to even begin to process that right now.

he calls your name and you blink, looking back at him anxiously. “we… don’t have to. right now, or even at all,” he says gently. the tips of his ears are burning red but his voice is calm and steady.

“joshua, i want to,” you start, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap to give you something to focus on other than the way he’s watching you so intently. “but i– don’t know how.”

“neither do i, baby,” he says. the nickname makes you shiver; even though it’s not the first time he’s called you that, especially after the other night, you’re still not used to it. but somehow it’s comforting, and it makes you relax knowing that he’s still the same person you grew up with, the same person that knows almost everything about you. you’ve both changed so much, but deep down you haven’t changed at all.

he pauses when you don’t say anything back. “we’ll wait, then,” he says and wraps his arms around you, lightly at first but then squeezing when you don’t try to pull away. “we have all the time in the world. no need to rush.”

“we… do?” your voice is laced with uncertainty.

he smiles. “of course. i let you go once already, i’m not letting it happen again. never again.”

you turn your head away from him and hide your face, flustered by how sincere he sounds. he hums, and you can hear the pout in his tone so you fight your embarrassment and turn back towards him to ask the question that’s been weighing on your mind since you first saw him days ago. “this is gonna sound so stupid, but… shua, what are we?”

first you were childhood friends, you were best friends, and then you were nothing. right place, wrong time? and then you were… doing something on the phone together, whatever you could call that. and now you were just sitting on top of his desk, sweating from having almost had sex. how do you even begin to put a label on this?

“well, i’d like to be yours,” he says shyly, and just like that all your questions are answered with six small words. you realize it doesn’t matter what label you have; as long as you have him, that’s all that matters.

“yes,” you breathe, lifting your eyes to finally meet his and you see all the love in his eyes threatening to spill over.

he reaches up to brush a piece of your hair out of your face. “i’m just glad i finally have you back,” he says with a soft smile as he watches you. “we’ll go slow, we’ll wait— whatever you want. whatever it takes not to lose you again.”

you bury your face in his chest with a whine. you’re hiding again, but even the uncomfortable scratchiness of his dress shirt can’t pull you away from him.

“besides, i don’t want our first time together to be in my stupid little office,” he chuckles and holds you tighter against him, pressing a kiss to the top of your head that makes your heart flutter. “you deserve better than that.”

you stay there for a long moment, hugging him like it's the last time you'll ever see him. but this time you know it won't be the last. it's the first, the first of hopefully many, many more.

when you feel like you've been standing there too long, you clear your throat and lean your head back to look at him. "so, um… now what?"

he pauses, those pretty lips turned up in a smile. "do you have plans for lunch?"

"no, i just had that study group you pulled me from. i'm free for the rest of the day."

his smile widens. "perfect. you still like grilled cheese, or did you grow out of that, too?"

you laugh, putting your chin on his shoulder as you hug him. "i haven't changed that much, shua."

after taking a while to collect yourselves (waiting for his erection to go back down so you can leave together without looking suspicious), you walk out of joshua’s office the happiest you've felt in years.

he'd wanted to hold your hand, too, but you were still anxious about anyone seeing you together that you'd refused him until you made it to his car. you were probably just being paranoid and no one would care about two responsible adults talking to each other, but all the time you'd spent hiding from your peers had put you on edge.

so, it wasn't until you were safely out of the church parking lot and in the driveway of his apartment complex that you let him touch you, kissing you over the cupholders with his hands gently holding your neck.

it took everything in you not to climb over the center console and sit on his lap in the driver's seat and kiss him as hard and as deeply as you really wanted, but you knew once you started you wouldn't be able to stop. and besides, he still didn't have any condoms. it didn't bother you either way, since you'd been taking birth control since high school to help with your periods, but if it was what he wanted you'd be more than fine with it.

you don't know what you'd been expecting the inside his apartment to look like; probably some tacky cross-stitch bible verses or a wooden cross hanging on the wall, but his apartment just looked like… a normal apartment. a very clean apartment, actually, though you weren't surprised. he'd always been a neat, organized kid, and it looked like that was one thing he hadn't grow out of.

you watch as he puts his keys on a hook by the door, following him into the kitchen and sitting at one of the chairs.

he grins at you as he opens his refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients for your lunch before taking out a pan.

"shua…" you interrupt him, standing up and walking towards him slowly. "you're not— really thinking about grilled cheese sandwiches right now, are you?"

he hums, eyes following your every movement as the pan sits cold and abandoned on the stove. "there are… other things on my mind, yeah."

"so why are you still trying to make grilled cheese sandwiches?"

by now you're close enough to stand toe to toe with him, and you're sure he can feel the heat radiating off your body when he wraps his hands around your waist, backing you against the kitchen counter. "because i wanna make you lunch. maybe i just wanna spoil my girl a little bit."

a shiver runs down your spine at the new name he calls you. never in a million years did you think this is where you'd end up.

"i think you have all the time in the world to spoil me later, joshua," you mumble, leaning in closer and closer until your lips touch.

in a flash he's hoisting you up and sitting you on the counter. his mouth never leaves yours as you slide your legs around his hips to drag him closer, kisses growing deeper and more desperate now that you can finally be alone together.

his hands slide down your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt and only breaking apart for a second to slide it over your head before his lips are crashing against yours again. 

your hands find his hips, experimentally tugging on his belt to see his reaction. immediately he pulls away from you, 

cheeks flushed and breathing heavily. "sweetheart, i still don't have any condoms. if you really want to now, then we gotta run to the store first."

“i’m on the pill,” you burst out, hoping he gets the message. maybe he has some other reason for wanting to, but you're too impatient to wait for who knows how long it'll take to go to the store, and you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off him for that long. you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off of him for even a few seconds.

his face goes blank as he processes your words, struggling to understand if you’re saying what he thinks you’re saying. “you’d let me…?”

you grab onto his arms, a desperate attempt to pull him closer, to feel more of him. “raw, yes, joshua. just—please, i need you,” you beg him, cunt throbbing with neglect as you wait for him to answer. 

he buries his face in your shoulder with a groan, gripping his hands underneath your thighs and sliding you off the counter.

with a shriek you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, holding on tightly as he starts to walk out of the kitchen carrying you. "joshua! what the hell are you doing?"

his face is still pressed against your shoulder, and you can feel his lips tickling your bare skin as he speaks. "i'll fuck you on my kitchen counter any day of the week, baby, but i want to have you for the first time in my bed, please?"

his voice is low and whiny, just as desperate for you as you are for him and it makes you moan with excitement. 

he finds his way into his room, stumbling a little when he accidentally runs you into the wall instead of through the doorway, but you just giggle and kiss him harder until he finally drops you on his bed, immediately unbuttoning his shirt.

you run your hands along his chest as he leans over you, feeling the toned muscle that feels almost wrong to be seeing. his physical changes are much more obvious to you now that he's like this, and you know the image will fuel your fantasies for weeks.

your hands move to his belt again and this time he allows it, letting you unbuckle it and toss it away before slowly lowering the zipper. he's already hard again, and your heart races when you put a little bit of pressure on the seam and he lets out a guttural groan in response.

his arms flex as he reaches down to slide your skirt off, and you help him and kick the fabric away, leaving both of you in nothing but your underwear.

joshua pauses, letting his gaze wander your body as you look away shyly. he hums and you look back at him in confusion. "don't hide from me, sweetheart, please," he says, but it comes out more like a whine; not like he's asking, but like he's begging. it's honestly the hottest thing you've ever heard, and even with your nerves he makes it hard to resist.

"dreamt about this for fucking years. years," he moans as he leans over to kiss your chest, reaching behind your body to undo your bra and let it fall away. you whimper when he brings his hands up to cup your breasts, wrapping his mouth around one of your nipples as he starts to slowly grind against your clothed pussy. you can already feel yourself soaking through your panties, and you're sure he can feel it, too.

his hands are like nothing you've ever felt, and you roll your head back against his pillows, arching into him as he massages your breasts with his large hands. you'd noticed them before, but you hadn't realized just how big they were until they were on top of you and made your body seem almost tiny beneath his massive palms.

"shua…" you breathe, tentative hands reaching up to touch his shoulders.

he looks up at you, mouth covered in spit. "yes, angel?"

you whimper at the nickname. no angel you'd ever learned about in sunday school had acted like you are right now, begging a man to fuck you. and on top of that it was before marriage, too; surely if there was a god they would be extremely disappointed in you. but right now you didn't care if the entire universe was disappointed in you, as long as joshua hong wasn't.

it takes you a few more seconds to build up your courage, but finally you open your mouth and tell him, "joshua, please— fuck me."

he slides forward to kiss you again, before sitting back and repositioning himself between your legs. "anything you want, sweetheart."

he lines his cock up at your entrance, and just before you think he's about to push into you, he looks up at you instead. 

"i love you, so much," he says, and you have to fight the urge to hide your face as you grin and giggle like a fucking schoolgirl; like the past version of you would have, if she'd had any sense and figured everything out sooner.

and, like always, he asks, "ready?", and you nod, and it's better than you could've ever imagined.

the whines that leave his mouth drive you close to the edge already as he begins to thrust into you, slowly, gently, just a little bit at a time but it still leaves you gasping from his size.

he keeps moving at a snail's pace until you reach up, fumbling to grab at his bicep as tears nearly spill out of your eyes and beg him, "joshua, more, please."

he leans over you, pressing his body flat against yours as he starts to rock his hips faster, and you cry out from so much pleasure and so much emotion hitting all at once.

"wanted you so fucking bad, for so long, and now you're finally here," he whispers, his thrusts never faltering despite how close in proximity he is to your face.

you whine as your hands claw at his back, digging in as you struggle to hold on and he curses again, pushing into you harder.

"you said i was better than you imagined," he groans, one hand coming up to caress your cheek. "but you're even better than i imagined. you're a fucking angel, so fucking beautiful."

you gasp his name, falling into your orgasm from his words alone as you clench impossibly tight around him. you always thought of him as the nice kid, the rule follower, but here he is, fucking you through the hardest orgasm of your life and saying such filthy things in between praises and compliments.

"jo-oshua, please!" is all you can manage, still struggling to recover before he crests into his own high with a whimper. his eyes scrunch up as he releases inside you, eyelashes fluttering and sweat dripping down his temples, and you think it's the most beautiful sight you've ever seen. 

a constant stream of curses fall from his lips and you swallow them with yours, kissing him as if you're afraid he might disappear into thin air if you don't hold onto him tight enough.

his breaths are shallow when his mouth falls away from you, resting his forehead on your shoulder with a long exhale.

"god…" he starts, then stops and laughs, and you have to tug on his hair to make him face you again.

"what are you laughing at?" you say, cheeks growing hot when he looks at you with droopy, hooded eyes and a lopsided smile.

"nothing," he laughs. "just god. what a funny word."

"and why is that, baby?" you say as you try to hold back a smile, testing out the nickname.

he grins. "because it gave me you. or maybe it didn't. who knows?"

you finally laugh along with him, remembering what he'd said to you on the phone that feels like years ago. "don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”

the church is humming with activity as you make your way to the front pew, carrying two donuts in your hand. people greet you as they mingle about the hall, talking and laughing. some wave excitedly when they see you, others simply smile and offer their hand for you to shake with a friendly “good morning and god bless!”

being a pastor’s wife isn’t something you ever imagined yourself doing, but then again, a lot of things in your life you never imagined doing. you never imagined seeing joshua again, and you never imagined marrying him, either. you certainly didn’t imagine taking over your father-in-law’s church when he retired and decided it was time for joshua to take his place as head of the church. you always knew he would someday, whether he wanted to or not, but you’d be happy to spend the rest of your life by his side no matter where he was or what job he had.

you’d been almost nervous when you decided it was finally time to tell your parents you had been seeing each other, but to your surprise they had been overjoyed at the news. both his family and yours were “just so glad when it happened to be you!”, saying things like “we’d always known it would happen, back since you were children!”, and “so when are we going to get some beautiful little grandchildren to take to sunday school!”

it had been five long and happy years since that very first phone call, and every minute you spend with joshua has been the best of your life.

you walk up the steps to the stage where your husband is waiting, flipping through his notes for the morning’s sermon. you hand him his donut with a grin, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. he smirks at you, imperceptible to everyone else but you can tell what it truly means.

everybody in the congregation always talks you’re the perfect example of a happy, god-loving couple. such nice looking people, so well put together. but behind closed doors, they’d be horrified by the things you say and do together. wolf in sheep’s clothing, as is your husband’s favorite parable to preach.

it’s not the life you imagined, but it’s perfect to you and him.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging with tags or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

> taglist | @wonderfulshinee @noniestars @onlymingyus @just-here-to-read-01 @wonuziex @enhacolor @yourfavoritefreakyhan @dkakapizzaboy @zozojella @rainyjeno @jwnghyuns @darlingvernon @uwuheeseungie @miriamxsworld @synthetickitsune @simeonswhore @junhour @foxdaisy @honglynights

> strikethrough means your blog cannot be tagged, please check your visibility settings to ensure you can be tagged properly

> if you want to be notified when i post a new fic, you can join my taglist here!

[thepixelelf]

warnings: coarse language. wc: 793

[the amnesia card always declines]

If there's one thing Joshua Hong has above all else, it's the audacity.

If there's two things, it's the audacity and the most grabbable, stupidly defined, makes-you-wanna-bite-into-them man tits you've ever seen in your godforsaken, miserable life.

Well, okay, maybe that counts as three things. Whatever.

"Oh my fucking god," you hiss, ducking closer to the coffee shop/bakery's table and hiding your entire head with both arms. "What is he doing here?!"

Soonyoung, the least subtle person you know (but you've given up on fixing him at this point) turns 180 degrees in his chair to watch the loser posing for a "totally casual" photoshoot outside. He hums in understanding, putting his hand under his chin like an experienced detective. "He must've seen your instagram story."

"He doesn't even follow me..."

"Oh, he's following you, alright." Soonyoung turns back around and stabs his fork into his strawberries 'n' cream croffle.

You glare at him over the pastries on the table. "Very funny."

"I know I am," he says with a dumb smile that says your sarcasm was not effective! "When are you going to stop holding your stupid grudge?"

An offended scoff escapes you. "It is a completely reasonable grudge, for your information."

"What, you being mad at him for...kissing you at that party?"

"For smooshing that stupid pretty face on mine at that party then acting like it never happened!" You slap your hands on the table, but as soon as you spot Joshua outside start to turn his head, you duck back into hiding.

Soonyoung points his fork at you. "He was drunk."

"So was I," you argue with a sneer. "But I remember everything-- especially you being the reason we had to cut the night short because you started drunk-crying and I had to take you home."

Suddenly capable of shame, Soonyoung scoots forward in his chair and leans over the table. "Have I mentioned that I love you and you're the best friend in the world?"

"Whatever, buddy." You roll your eyes. "Just remember all the shit I've done for you when I'm the one crying in the club."

"Crying in the club?" echoes Joshua--

Joshua?!

Your soul escapes your body entirely and jolts back in a nano-second. "Holy fuck--" You put a hand over your racing heart and send a death glare to the smug offender. "You scared the shit out of me!"

Joshua just smiles that stupidly pretty smile and, damn it, you're supposed to be ignoring this jackass.

"Sorry," he says, but he doesn't sound sorry at all. "Are you free?"

Making a face, you look over at Soonyoung, who just shrugs, then back at Joshua. "...Right now?"

"Right now is good." He nods in thought. "Or later today. Or tomorrow. If not, then the day after that. You've been avoiding me."

You force your shoulders to relax and avert your eyes. "No I haven't."

Joshua's expression suddenly goes solemn, which you notice because, shit, you started looking at him again. "Did I do something?"

At that, you scoff, crossing your arms and shaking your head in disbelief.

"Seriously. That party... I don't remember much, except that I've barely seen you since."

"Don't play the amnesia card on me, Josh. It's so tired."

His brows furrow, and your stupid fingers want to massage the hurt look right off his forehead. As if the dumbass deserves it.

"It's not amnesia," Joshua says. "But it's fuzzy. I can't tell what really happened that night or what was just my dream."

"Really? We're talking dreams now?"

He shrugs, crossing his arms, which fold just underneath those stupid, huge pecs... "I happen to dream about you a lot."

"Mmhm... Sure..." Are they bigger than the croffles? The melon buns? The... "Wait-- what?"

Joshua smiles, and you just know he caught you staring, the little shit. "I said, I dream about you a lot. Kiss scenes included."

Your jaw drops, maybe to the floor, but you can't be bothered to check. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Soonyoung make a perfect circle with his mouth before he hurriedly asks the barista if they serve popcorn.

"Joshua Hong, you..." Standing from your chair, you fist the collar of his fleece sweater in both hands, primed to throttle. "...are so fucking stupid."

Then somehow, even though you're the one who pulls him in, he's the one who takes your breath away.

When your lips part, though, you open your eyes while his stay closed, and he leans in again.

"Wait," you say, halting him with the one word. "How did you find me here?"

Wincing, Joshua peeks just one eye open. "Please don't be mad at him."

You whip around, but the bell over the shop's door is already tinging, and Soonyoung is dashing across the street like his life depends on it.

Good, because it does.

"Kwon Soonyoung! You are so fucking dead!"

[jade-len]

i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.

picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.

it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.

and then he gets to the sword.

demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.

but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.

when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.

the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.

and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.

the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.

luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.

instead, he hears this:

"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."

but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.

"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."

"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."

"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."

"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"

somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.

weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.

xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.

it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.

sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.

maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.

maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.

"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.

hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."

xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.

...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.

(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)

[springseasonie]

Hate me more | LMH (M)

Enemies to lovers, Camp counselors Mark x Fem reader

Summary: You really dislike Mark and you're pretty sure he dislikes you too. Ever since he came to the camp last year, he's been nothing short of a headache to you. And now you're forced to work with him this summer, and his mission is clearly to piss you off.

Warnings: sexual content, heavy dubcon/cnc themes, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), kissing (shocker), Mark is annoying, so is the reader tbh, may be errors even though proof read

Word count: 7,7k

Song recs: kiss by NCT dojaejung (this is my way of promoting the unit go stream)

A/N: I was gonna write something for the release of golden hour but this took a bit longer than expected 😭 10 days later an I finally finished it lmao please give feedback if you want it's always appreciated

"Okay kiddos make sure you have all your things before we go back to the cabins okay?"

"Yes Ms. Y/N!"

You gave them a thumbs up as you leaned on a tree, waiting for all the kids to pack up. This was your life every summer for the past 4 years. Being a camp counselor was a lot of work the first time, but by the end of the summer, you had to come back. You loved your kids and they loved you. The staff was always so welcoming and nice. That was true until Mark started the third summer.

He was such an asshole. All the other female counselors gushed over him and his looks. He was constantly flirting with everyone, using his looks and charisma to get himself out of shit. It annoyed you, and Mark instantly took notice. He would side eye you all the time and talk about you as if you weren't friends with everyone else. He didn't really care though, he enjoyed being confronted by you every time he got "caught." Mark found your anger funny, never really taking you seriously.

And now you're paired to work with him this summer.

"Ms. Y/N, where is Mr. Mark? I need help getting something out a tree," one of the kids asked.

"That's a good question honey." You glanced around the area, looking over both shoulders to try and get a sign of him. And of course, he's nowhere to be found. "I don't see him around. We're just gonna have to wait for him okay?"

The little girl nods and runs back to her friends. Ten minutes go by and you start to get annoyed. This happened way more often than you would like to think. Mark disappears to do something or someone for way too long and you're left to take care of the kids by yourself. Sometimes, you almost think it's unbelievable how unreliable he is, sneaking away leaving you alone with 20 children in a forest. But then again, it's on brand for him.

5 more minutes went by and you start to get frustrated. You have no idea what he could be doing that's going to cause all of you to be late for dinner time. "Okay everyone please listen to me okay?" All the kids stop talking and turn to you. "I'm gonna go look for Mr. Mark, but I need all of you to sit in 5 rows of 4. Now." All the kids practically run to sit next to their friends and plop down on the floor.

"Good. None of you move or get up. If anything happens, scream at the top of your lungs okay? I'll be right back." All of the kids agreed as you turned to walk into the forest, going the way you last saw him.

"So fucking irresponsible," you muttered to yourself. "How the hell am I supposed to watch 20 kids by myself?"

You could still hear the kids, so you know you weren't too far away from the area or the trail. This wasn't new for you, always looking for him. It's only been a month since the both of you had to start working together, and he was already making shit hard for you. Mark liked to go hide somewhere. it was either to get away from you, the kids, or to get blown off by some staff member. You couldn't stand it.

"I mean seriously, can't he control himself for one fucking summer," you grumble. "Fucks everything that walks. What an ass."

"Well I wouldn't say that."

Your body jumped violently suddenly hearing his voice next to you. You whipped your head in his direction seeing him sitting, leaning in a tree. Mark had his ear buds in and from where you were standing, you could still hear the music playing.

"Where the hell were you," you asked angrily.

Mark stood up and dusted his pants off as he walked to you. You crossed your eyes, eyeing him up and down. He was so smug about everything. He always looked like something was amusing to him, like there was always a joke to tell.

"Here," he said.

"Clearly. And how the hell do you even have a working phone out here. There is literally no service."

Mark shrugged, wrapping the ear buds around his phone and putting it in his back pocket. "I downloaded stuff before I came."

"Whatever, let's go," you said, rolling your eyes.

"Where are the kids," he asked you, placing his hands in his pockets as he walked.

"In the same place I left them. I had to come get you like you were a lost child. Stop leaving me with all these kids."

Mark smiled in amusement as he walked behind you. You didn't really notice, but you tend to stomp when you are angry. And fortunately for Mark, it wasn't annoying. He actually found it cute, but he wouldn't tell you that.

"Can we take a break? My legs hurt," he whined teasingly.

"Mark, stop playing games. We have 20 kids in the forest waiting for us to come back and the sun will start setting soon," you replied, sighing heavily.

"Oh please we'll be okay."

And at this moment, you've just about had it with him. You turned around, lips pursed at his nonchalant response. Mark stopped in his tracks, looking up at you as you stood on the top of the small hill. "You have one more time to piss me off or I will report you. I'm not joking."

Mark's amused expression washed away as you turned around and kept walking. For the rest of the walk back, he said nothing. Soon enough, the both of you got back to the kids who were still sitting and chatting.

You sighed, groaning quietly. "I'm gonna do another headcount. You get that thing out of the tree."

"Why couldn't you just do it," he complained.

"Because- you know what, just get it out the tree."

You counted all of the kids, double and triple checking everyone and the area around you. Soon enough, Mark got the toy that was stuck in the tree out, and everyone was ready to leave. "Okay everyone you know the drill. Get your buddy and get in line. Mark, you'll watch the back."

"Didn't sound like a question," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I wasn't asking."

"I swear to you I will kill him if I'm ever alone with him again."

"He's really not that bad," Somi said, taking another bite of her pancake.

"Please, bad is an understatement," you say as you sit down. "He fucking left me with 20 kids, and then when we got back and I told him how dangerous that was, he says 'but you handled it, right?'"

Somi laughs, clearly amused at your story. You give her a confused look, not understanding why she wasn't siding with you. "Y/N, anything he says makes you angry."

"That's not the point!" Somi stops laughing when she sees how upset you are. "He left me and 20 kids in the forest near sunset to sit on his ass and listen to music. Then got an attitude with me because I was telling him what do when he wanted to act like a fucking child. I'm tired of it, Somi. I've been dealing with this for a month."

"Shit, I didn't think it was that serious," she said, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.

"We literally could've had a bear encounter or something. I don't want to keep taking responsibility for his shit," you say, sighing heavily. "Anyways, I'm done complaining. Let's just eat."

You went to bed last night still completely angry at what happened in the forest. Mark didn't say anything to you walking back, but your conversation once you got back to the main camp was nothing short of unpleasant. It consisted of all your usual unpleasantries with him. Mark didn't really seem to care much though. You hated that you always let him get a rise out of you once you said you weren't going to do it anymore. And at this point, you had to get to the bottom of it.

You looked around the dining hall trying to find Mark. You knew he was there, he always came late after roughhousing with the kids in his cabin. Searching around some more, you spot him in line getting food. "I see him."

"Please don't harass the man," Somi begged you.

"Too late." You got up and walked to him. You really needed all this bad energy between the both of you to disappear. You weren't too sure about him, but it made every day difficult and you couldn't deal with it all summer. "Hey buddy," you said, tapping his shoulder.

"Didn't know we were friends."

The fake smile immediately turned into a frown. "Our conversation from last night isn't finished."

Mark groaned quietly as you followed his pace in the line. "Why do you keep bothering me if you don't like me?"

"I'm not bothering you, I'm trying to figure out what your deal is," you whisper yell. You followed Mark to his usual seat with the other male counselors, taking a seat right next to him. You were too focused on him to notice the confused stares you got from everyone else.

"Um, hey Y/N," Haechan greeted you awkwardly. "Is this…your new spot?"

"I came to talk to your friend if you don't mind."

"She's crazy," Mark blurted out, making the table laugh.

You smacked him on the arm, making him turn to you with the brightest smile you've seen all summer. And for some reason this was the first time you looked at him without feeling pure irritation. He was actually pretty…cute?

You couldn't look directly in the eyes, fearing that the anger you felt all morning would go away. Instead of speaking, you got up and went back to the table with Somi.

"So..what happened," she questioned.

"Nothing."

"You don't seem too upset by it," Somi observed.

"What..what are you talking about," you said, trying to deflect.

"You can't fool me, you're terrible at lying," she laughed. Somi took another bit of her pancake, but stopped laughing, giving you a look as if she found out something. "Do you like him?"

"Keep your voice down! And don't eat with your mouth full, you look like a damn kid."

"Y/N, do you like him?"

"Of course not! I can't stand the man," you deny.

Somi squints her eyes and side eyes you, but says nothing. You know she doesn't believe you, but it doesn't really matter because either way, you don't like him. "Okay..just know that today is your day to clean the kitchen."

"I know," you said with a sigh.

"And his also," she reminded you.

"Goodness kill me now."

-

You and Mark cleaned the dishes in the kitchen silently, not daring to say a word. There was an unspoken rule between the 2 of you at the moment, first person to speak surrenders to the other for the entire summer. You'll never surrender to him, no matter what it takes (that's what you want to believe anyway.) Mark had been stealing glances for about 30 minutes now, watching you clean meticulously and quietly. He always thought you were pretty, except for when you were being annoying that is. He always thought of himself as the bigger person, despite his childish nature, so he thought he should end this silent game sooner than expected.

"Did you get sleep," he asked.

"Why do you care?"

"I can't be concerned about my friend," he said. Mark chuckled softly when you sucked your teeth.

"Why do you insist on pissing me off," you say, turning to him. "Like I really don't understand why you don't like me. Since you came here last year, I've been nothing short of annoyed with you."

"It's never been my intention, but I just happen to strike those emotions in some women."

"What the fuck does that mean?" You put down the dirty dishes, crossing your arms as you looked at him with a brow raised.

"It means," he replied, turning to you, "that the more women are attracted to me, the less they like me."

You scoffed, getting back to cleaning the dishes. "You wish. You're out of your fucking mind."

"If I'm crazy, then what exactly was that earlier," he asked. You didn't know, but Mark definitely noticed how you backed off of him during breakfast. The way your expression changed, how quick you got up. It almost seemed like you were running from something, and he knew exactly what it was. "I know you like me."

"I don't like you. I just didn't want to talk to you in front of all your friends. They were laughing at me, so I left," you explained. Mark took two steps to you, his body ending up close to yours. You backed up a bit, not understanding why he was close to you, but he followed you again. "What are you doing?"

"Testing something out," he said simply.

"Look I don't know what you're testing but I'm busy. " Just as you moved away from him, he placed his arms beside you, trapping you under him. The both of you have never been this close before. Sure there were times where he had to catch you or hold you for activities in the forest, but there was nothing like this. This was close. This was personal.

"What are you doing," you asked, shock written all over your face.

"Standing here." Mark's lips curled into a smirk as his eyelids dropped once glancing at your lips. "You're pretty."

"Thank you but I really need to-"

"You know," he started,"you never told me what you wanted to talk about before you left the table."

You sighed, making a dramatic pained expression. "Mark, please. Can you back up?"

"No."

You looked up at him, surprised that his face was closer than before. One more move and your lips would've probably touched his. 'Why am I even thinking about that right now,' you thought to yourself.

"I know you wanna kiss me," he said almost in a whisper. Mark chuckled softly seeing the frazzled look on your face. You were so easy to read, always saying you didn't like him knowing damn well you wanted him. He just wanted to make you say it. He wanted to break your prideful attitude down and make you beg for him.

"You are saying insane things right now." You couldn't even look him in the eye, too afraid you would melt under his body. He was too close. You couldn't control your heart beat or your whirling mind. 'Maybe kissing him wouldn't be so bad,' you thought to yourself, but pushed the thought to the back of your head.

"But you didn't say I was wrong," he said, leaning into your neck.

"Mark, seriously." The slight whine in your voice made you want to run and hide from everyone. You felt like you were going to collapse into his hands the closer he got. His voice was so soft, but his presence was still so dominating. It was almost too much for you to bear.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now," he whispered in your ear, a smile on his face. "Would you push me away, take it and get mad, or maybe give me another one?"

You could barely look at him, let alone speak. You had no idea how to respond to him. You didn't even know if you were supposed to. But what you did know is that if he made one more move or said anything else, you would most likely lose your mind. "Mark, it's too early in the morning for this," you said practically begging him to stop.

Mark released his hand from the counter, placing it on your waist. His grip was firm as he pressed you against the counter more, body so close his leg was between yours. "You're not even trying to run at this point. You little liar."

"Mark..what if someone comes in here?"

"Let them. Why do you care? Are you scared," he teased. Mark kissed the spot behind your ear softly, making you gasp. Your body tensed up in his hand, causing him to rub small circles in your waist in an attempt to comfort you. He kept missing down your neck, moving back up to kiss your jawline.

You stood there, still as a tree. Your eyes fluttered shut, taking in the feeling of his lips on your skin. At this rate there was no point in fighting it. He had already won like he did with everyone else. You felt Mark's hand leave your waist, grabbing your chin as he ran his finger down your bottom lip.

"If you want me to stop I will."

You shook your head unconsciously, brows slightly frowning at his words. You were desperate and he definitely knew from the way you were frozen and speechless.

"Good girl." Mark kissed you softly, but deeply. His hand slowly made its way to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You dare to touch him, feeling like it was way too intimate. But before you could even pull away, he kissed you again, this time with even more sincerity. You didn't know why you had such a heavy feeling in your chest, but it did scare you a little bit.

"We have to finish all of this stuff in 15 minutes. You think we can make it," he asked on your lips.

"If you stop fast enough, maybe.."

Mark chuckled softly at your response, pulling away from you. He was clearly extremely turned on, but you were not the kind to help him with his problem, and he knew that. But that didn't stop his mind from drifting, thinking about how hot it would be if you dropped to your knees at this very moment.

"Wasn't that fun Y/N?"

"What are you talking about," you said, covering your face in embarrassment.

"Unwinding instead of having a stick up your ass," he jabbed.

You dropped your hands, scoffing at him. You shoved your way out of his arms, walking to the sink he was at previously. "Gosh, you're so annoying," you mumbled as you scrubbed the dirty plates.

"Yeah but you like it though."

"You wish."

"Proved my point."

You and Mark haven't spoken since the kitchen fiasco. You said a couple of words to each other when it came to the kids, but nothing more than that. You couldn't even look at him, the shame filling your body once he came into your vision. But one thing was for sure- you definitely didn't hate him as much. You were still very confused. You didn't understand where all those feelings came from for Mark in the kitchen. Maybe your subconscious? It didn't really matter, you just wanted to make sense of everything.

"Okay everyone, tonight is movie night so we need to leave a little early okay," you announced.

Mark leaned on a tree silently watching you as you interacted with the kids. You didn't know that he had conflicting feelings as well. All the teasing and messing around turning into sexual tension was not what he hoped for. He just wanted to mess with you. He wasn't actually going to kiss you for real, but when he saw the desperate scrunch of your eyebrows, how could he resist himself? If it weren't for the kids, he would definitely have his way with you right on the ground, but nothing in his life ever works right.

Mark admired the way you were with them, always so nice and careful. You were careful with anything really, never wanting to come off as irresponsible or rude. But he never cared about any of that. He didn't care if people thought he was a prick or an ass, which is why you were so intriguing to him. He never got a chance to actually introduce himself to you before you can dislike him as easily as you did.

After 20 minutes of walking back to the main site, the sun had finally set and all the kids and counselors went back to their respective cabins before going to the lake for movie night.

"So you're telling me," Somi started,"after all these months of not liking him, he came onto you in the kitchen and you didn't refuse?"

"I know, I know it's humiliating," you grumbled putting on your shirt.

"Enemies to lovers. My favorite trope."

You let out a loud embarrassed groan listen to her words. "We only kissed twice. We didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the day," you added.

"Not even for your group," she questioned.

"Well of course we did, but very little. He was..so distant," you said. You slipped into your jean shorts and put your shoes back on quickly. "I'm gonna go make sure all the girls are ready." You got up and walked outside to see everyone playing around. Just as you were about to round up your cabin, you see Mark who's talking to some of his kids. You wanted to stop staring at him, but you couldn't. You gulped as he glanced at you, giving you a small wave. "I hate him," you muttered to yourself almost as if you were trying to convince yourself it was true.

You shake your head, attempting to push what happened out of the forefront of your mind, but it's hard to do that when he's walking up to you. You turn away from his direction, hastily gathering the girls from your cabin. Just as you were about to make your way to the lake, you were tapped on the shoulder. Turning around agonizingly slowly, you face him with a fake smile.

"Hi," you said awkwardly.

"Hey, so listen-"

"I can't talk right now, we're about to head to the lake," you interrupted.

"I know but-"

"Can't talk."

Mark sighed, looking down at his shoes. He knew you were difficult, but not like this. "Can we talk after the movie?"

"Talk..about what? There's nothing to talk about," you say dismissively.

Mark rolled his eyes, walking away from you. You looked behind yourself, watching him walk back with his hands in his pockets. All that you could hope for was him forgetting whatever conversation he wanted to have with you.

Your cabin was the first to get to the lake while Mark's was the last like always. The movie started at 7, so thankfully for you, you could be left alone for 2 hours. You leaned against a tree as you watched the movie projected on the sheet quietly.

Unlike you, Mark was watching you silently, eyes never leaving your body as you stared at the screen. He knew you wanted nothing to do with him even after he kissed you, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He's never been in a situation like this before. Having to chase after you was starting to dampen his pride, but he liked it.

He watched as you whispered to Somi about something, not able to read your lips. Maybe he shouldn't have thought to follow you as you walked away from everyone, but getting to be alone with you came rare, so he had to take his chances.

"Hey, I'm gonna go back to the cabin. I forgot something," he whispered to Haechan.

"Okay, be quick though. I don't wanna be responsible for you," he replied.

Mark gave him a dry laugh and walked away, following you from behind. Mark picked up that you were going to your cabin after a few turns on the trail. The sun was starting to set, so he began to rationalize he weird actions to himself. "It's not weird that I'm following her," he muttered to himself quietly. "I'm just keeping her safe." It was surprising how you didn't notice anyone was following you. You were usually always attentive, but it seems that you were only that way with other people.

Soon enough, the both of you made it to your cabin. You went inside with a big sigh, letting the door slam behind you. Mark would be a kind person and knock on the doors but he wasn't all that kind, so scaring you is the option he went with. Mark quickly went up to the door, opening it quietly. Your back was turned as you rummaged through a bag for something, causing you to not hear his footsteps or the door creaking open.

"Boo!"

"Fuck," yelled, body jumping violently as you turned around. "Mark?"

"Surprise."

You scoffed rolling your eyes at his jazz hands motion. "You're not funny. Now get out, this is a girls cabin."

"I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to talk." He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as you went back to looking for whatever you were looking for.

"I really don't care, just leave," you said sternly.

Mark had enough of beating around the bush with you, the constant teasing, and asking dumb questions. He had to know why there was bad blood between you, especially after you let him kiss you that morning. "Why don't you like me?"

"You're kidding." You let out a dry laugh as you turned to face him. "I don't like you? I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."

"I'm just curious because since last year, you never gave me a chance, so I really want to know," he said, lifting his brows with a small smile.

"I want you to tell me why you don't like me first, then maybe I'll consider explaining myself to you."

Mark took small steps towards you, not being able to control the smirk on his face when you furrow your brows in confusion. "You're uptight and rude to me. And you never give me your attention unless it's to be rude with me, and I hate that that's the only way I get to talk to you. You only want to speak to me if it's to tell me how bad of a job I'm doing or how frustrating it is to be around me or work with me."

"That's not true, I-"

"I'm not done." You closed your mouth, intimidated by how commanding his voice was. "Then you go around and say to everyone how much you hate me. I know you complain to Somi and all the other counselors, and that's fine. But next time I would like to hear it from you directly."

"That I hate you?" You gave him a weird look, making him chuckle softly.

"Yes. Tell me that you hate me." He was walking closer to you slowly, arms now at his sides as he looked down at you with hungry eyes. Your arms were still crossed as you stood there, not allowing yourself to show how intimidating he was to you. Your face was calm, but your heart was beating faster with every step he took.

"I'm not telling you I hate you. Can I talk now," you asked.

"Go for it."

"You're fucking annoying and not helpful. You came into this camp last year and made all these friends and everyone liked you instantly. Everyone says you're funny and such a great guy but I have yet to see it. All you've done since you've been here was piss me off."

"You wanna know why," he said. He leaned down to your ear, a smile tugging at his lips. "Because you're pretty when you're angry."

"That's not funny," you said, looking away from him.

"I wasn't joking." Mark moved away from you, eyes going straight to your lips.

"Seriously mark, I don't care that you like to get me riled up, but yesterday was uncalled for. Do you have any idea…will you stop staring at me like that?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Mark could barely concentrate on what you were saying. Your expression, the way you spoke, how close the 2 of you were. All he wanted was to just kiss you and shut you up for the night. Mark could barely keep his hands off you, every bit of self restraint coursing through his veins.

You sighed trying to back up from him, but all you did was bump the edge of your bed making you fall back. You plopped on the thin mattress placing your hand behind you to stay balanced on the bed. Mark's gaze turned dangerous, staring at you as if you were prey.

"God you're so hot," he mumbled.

"Mark," you said, his name coming out a bit breathlessly.

Before you could finish your sentence, he pinned your body to the bed. You were dead silent as you watched his eyes move rapidly along your face and body. "Mark..we can't. We have to be back soon."

"Stop fighting it. Just say you want me," he mumbled quietly. He leaned into your neck, breath tickling your skin as you closed your eyes.

You shook your head, brows furrowing as you tried to push the feeling to the back of your head. But the only thing you can think about is how his hands are leaving your wrists as he moves them down your body. Your breath hitched when his fingertips brushed against the slightly exposed skin of your stomach. You didn't stop him as he lifted your shirt, hands attaching to waist firmly.

The both of you stayed silent, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of breathing and your old bed creaking at every movement he made. You watched him as he moved his hands lower, fingers resting on the button of your jean shorts. Mark looked at you for any signs of you wanting to stop, but all he saw was the desperation on your face.

You gulped watching him unbutton and unzip your shorts, lifting your hips as he tugged them off you. Mark took his shirt off, laying it next to your shorts. He hooked his fingers on your underwear, pulling them off you quickly. You let out a small yelp when he tugs you towards him, throwing your leg over his shoulder as he moves between your legs.

'Just get on with it,' was all you could think. You were way too eager to get him between your legs, and at this point, nothing was going to stop it. "Hurry up," you said, breaking the long silence.

Mark didn't say anything or look at you, all he did was smile as his face disappeared between your legs. A small gasp of please leaves your lips as he kitten licks your core. You close your eyes, letting your head fall back onto the mattress taking in every movement. He ran his hand up and down your leg, nails lightly scratching your skin making you shiver. Needing more friction, you begin to grind yourself on his tongue slowly, but he stops you with a hold on your hips.

"We're gonna do this nice and slow okay," he said.

"We can't, we have to get back soon."

"They'll be okay. There's more than enough people out there." Before you could say anything his mouth was back on your core, tongue pressing against your sensitive bud hard. Without thinking your hands made their way to his hair, fingers running through the blonde locks. Mark kept licking at you agonizingly slow, chuckling when you whined for more. He would speed up at moments, flicking his tongue against your clit faster just to tease you, then stop.

"Please," you begged breathlessly, "it feels like I'm being punished."

"I know," he mumbled.

You smacked him on the side of his head softly, making the male look up at you with a brow raised. "I fucking hate you."

Mark chuckled, removing one of his hands from your hip. He didn't take his eyes off of you as he slid two fingers into you, pumping them slowly. Mark watched as you basically fell apart in his hands, moans never stopped spilling from your lips. He began licking your clit, but faster, almost sending you over the edge.

"Shit, don't stop," you whined softly. You couldn't control your hips as you grinded against his fingers and tongue. Your jaw dropped when he fingered you faster. Gripping his hair, your hips moved on their own as you grinded faster. You were so close, your core pulsing on his fingers. "Fuck I'm gonna cum," you whined.

Your whines became louder, the pornographic sounds of your moaning, bed creaking, and sounds coming from Mark filling the empty cabin. This is one the many times you thanked God no one was around. Your eyes rolled back and body shuddered as your orgasm hit you like a truck making you mumble curses that not even Mark could make out. You let go of his hair, plopping back down on your mattress breathing heavily.

"I'm assuming that was the first time you came in a month?" Mark slid his fingers out of you slowly, wiping the digits on your sheets. He moved your leg off his shoulder, lifting himself from between your legs.

"Do you think I'm getting myself off after hiking and being around kids in this damn camp everyday," you asked, rolling your eyes at his statement.

"No. I think you're too uptight to do that," he said with a soft chuckle.

"It's crazy that you're still calling me uptight like I won't get up and leave."

Mark didn't respond to you, laughing softly to himself knowing you wouldn't move either way. He moved off the bed untying his sweats. You watched him as he let his clothes fall to the ground, eyeing his body. Not that you couldn't get it before, but now you see why he was a big deal to the other female counselors.

"Aren't we gonna use protection," you asked, gulping when he was back in front of you.

"I don't have any," he mumbled.

"You're so fucking ridiculous," you grumbled. "You're lucky I'm on birth control."

Mark could barely hear you with how eager he was to see you lose yourself for him. No amount of mean words or insults could turn him off in the moment, every word you spoke sounded like exactly what he needed to hear. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad." His lids dropped as he grabbed your ankles, pulling you closer to him.

"Don't tease, we don't have all night," you whined.

Mark couldn't take his eyes off you as he lined himself with you, slowly entering you with ease. You looked pretty under the light of the setting sun peering through the window. The light hit your eyes perfectly as they rolled back, soft moans leaving your lips at the same time. Mark thrusted into you slowly holding your waist firmly. He wanted to savor the moment, finally able to get you under him, because even though he had you now, he might not ever get you again. It was taking everything in him to not ram into you after every move not wanting it to end too quickly.

With the way he was looking at you you thought he was gonna eat you alive. And in all honesty you would let him. It was conflicting to you that all this pent up aggression towards him exploded into sex, but you were clearly not that conflicted. You would never tell him, but you had always been attracted to him and the kiss was just the tip of the iceberg.

He slid his hands up the back of your legs, pinning them to your chest as he thrusted into you faster. Your moans echoed in the empty cabin, not even thinking about if anyone could be near. "Feels so good," you moaned.

"Who's making you feel good?"

"Fuck..you are," you whined, eyes fluttering shut as you take in pleasure.

"Good girl," he cooed. Mark watched as you slipped your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit at the same place as his thrust. His fingers were constantly kneading your legs, leaving prints in your skin. "You're close aren't you baby?"

You nodded fast, looking at him with desperate eyes. "Kiss me.. please."

Mark didn't have to think twice. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss quite literally sticking his tongue down your throat. You sucked on the wet muscle, moaning loudly on his tongue every time he thrusted into you.

"Mark..fuck," you moaned softly. Mark took a hand off your leg, wrapping an arm on the small of your back pulling you closer to him. You kissed him again, moans and whimpers poured into his mouth.

Mark moaned softly against your lips as you squeezed around him, cumming on his length. You pulled away, your lewd sounds becoming louder as he didn't stop fucking you. Mark leaned down, kissing your neck messily as you clung onto his shoulder. Mark has never had this kind of passionate feeling with a person before. It was starting to feel like more than just a sexual attraction to him, maybe he did actually have feelings for you.

"Cum in me," you said cupping his face.

Mark looked at you, brows furrowing in uncertainty. "A-are you sure? I-"

"Please baby just cum for me," you mumbled, completely taken over by the pleasure spreading in your body. "Can you do that for me?"

"Anything for you," Mark breathed out. Your words went straight to his length, his pace speeding up as he felt himself closer to cumming.

Your jaw went slack, eyes rolling back as you felt another orgasm creeping up on you. "Y-you're gonna make me cum," you whimpered.

With just a few more thrust, both you and Mark came at the same time, loud moans and groans filling the space. Mark's body went limp, laying on top of you with his face buried on the side of your neck. No one said anything for a minute, just laid there in each other's embrace trying to catch your breaths.

"I guess you don't hate me after all," Mark joked, breaking the silence.

"Only a little less."

Mark snickered as pulled himself out of you slowly. "Let's get you something to clean up with." He got up and pulled his boxers and pants on. You were sure it was because you just had sex with him, but the way you looked at him was different now. Before you were completely annoyed by his presence, but now even the little faces he made were endearing. Of course, Mark would never stop being an infuriating person to talk to but maybe you like talking to him. Maybe you liked being around him this whole time.

"If you want to go for round 2 just say it." Mark walked back to you with tissues, handing them to you with a smile. He chuckled softly when you gave him a frown for his comment. "Back to hating me I guess."

"I don't hate you Mark," you admit. The words felt unnatural to you, but they were the truth. You don't hate him, and you don't think you ever did.

"I'd like it if you did though," he said, sitting on the edge of your bed. "If what we just did considered hate fucking, please hate me more."

You rolled your eyes, tossing the dirty tissues in the trash bin across the room. "Who said it was gonna happen again?" Mark watched you closely as you shimmied back into your underwear and shorts. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"Yeah." He stood up, pulling you to him, making you gasp softly. Mark kissed you deeply, smiling against your lips when you kissed him back. "We should get back. I think we've been gone too long," he mumbled.

You nodded, kissing him one more time before he pulled away from you agonizingly slow. "Please don't be weird when we get back. I don't want to have to hate you again," you joked.

"Didn't I just tell you I want you to hate me more?"

"What do you mean you fucked him last night," Somi whisper yelled.

"Yeah..I did..right on the bed you're sitting on."

"Ew ew ew." She shot up from your bed with a frown on her face, making you laugh loudly. "Seriously what is wrong with you, why didn't you say that before I sat down?"

"Thought your reaction would be funny, and it was," you'd aid giggling.

Somi looked at you with disgust on her face, dusting off her body. "Anyways…are you guys like..a thing now?"

"I don't know. I don't think so," you answered.

"Well do you wanna be a thing?"

"Well..I think I do," you admitted. "But I don't know him that well, you know. All I did was have sex with him. What if he doesn't want anything," you said.

"You want me to be honest?"

"Please do."

"I think you should go talk to him. Like right now," she suggested.

"Now? I don't even know if he's in his cabin," you stated.

"Just go. If he's not there, go back another time. You should talk to him while your feelings are still fresh," she suggested.

Somi was right. Even though you thought it was still a bit early to talk to him, you couldn't stop thinking about him all day and all night. Throughout the day, the both of you kept stealing glances, staring at each other but not saying a word. It's been hard trying to keep your bubbling feelings for him at bay, especially when you're working so close for the summer. But Somi was right, it wouldn't hurt to try.

You nodded, sighing softly. "You're right. I should go." You turned walking to the door, but when you opened it, Mark was standing there, hand up like he was about to knock.

"Oh," you said, surprised. "Hi."

"Hey," he said, looking everywhere but at you. "Can I, um, talk to you?"

"Uh, yeah. You wanna talk here or.."

"Just walk with me. Please?" You've never seen him so nervous or unsure before. It was kind of cute. You agreed, leaving the cabin and walking along the trail with Mark.

The first couple of minutes were silent. Neither one of you said anything. The only thing that could be heard were the sounds of your feet on the dirt trial and the laughter of children from afar. But it wasn't an awkward kind of silence. It felt comfortable, he felt comfortable and warm.

"I really like you Y/N," he started. "And I know it might be weird for you, but I just felt like you had to hear it."

His words went straight to your heart, making it beat faster with every syllable. You blinked fast, not really knowing how to respond. You were afraid of coming into him too strongly, saying something that would scare him away, but you had to say something.

"I..like you too," you confessed. Your face was beginning to heat up, palms becoming clammy from the nervousness. You haven't been like this since middle school, all shy and nervous.

"So..where should we go from here?" Mark raised a brow and looked at you. You glanced at him quick enough to not want to run away from the situation all together. He grabbed your hand, making you pause mid step. Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it at this point, and you were sure he could too.

"I, uh, I don't know," you stuttered.

Mark chuckled, clasping his fingers with yours. "I've never seen you so nervous."

"I'm not nervous." You don't know who exactly you were trying to prove that too, but it definitely wasn't him because as soon as you spoke he laughed.

"I think we should start over this summer," he said. "I think we should meet each other for the first time again."

You looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he started, turning to you. He stopped walking and tugged your hand to look at him. "I mean we should start again from a clean slate. I want to get to know you better on a good note, but only if you're willing."

You gulped looking down at your feet. You must've looked like a kid with the way mark was smiling down at you. "I..I would like that. I'd like that a lot actually." You looked at him, expression going from shy to worriedm. "I'm sorry for y'know being rude and everything."

Mark didn't say anything, allowing your words to linger for a moment before he leaned down and kissed you. The kiss was softer this time, more innocent. Mark pulled away with a small smile on his face. "You don't have to apologize to me for anything. I know I've been an ass, and I'm willing to make up for it."

It was hard to keep a smile off your face and stop yourself from blushing like a kid. "If we do this, will you stop talking to me once we're out of here," you asked.

"Y/N when I said I liked you I was serious. I don't want this to be a summer fling. I actually want to get to know you before I date you," he explained.

Your eyes went wide, completely flustered from his statement. "You want to date me?" Your heart fluttered repeating his words almost immediately, getting butterflies in your stomach. "But I've been so terrible to you and-"

"So? We like each other and we should explore that this summer."

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. You let go of his hand and placed it on the back of his neck, kissing him. This was the first time you kissed him. And it felt good. It felt good knowing that you didn't have to keep trying to convince yourself you didn't like him, or that you were never attracted to him. You pulled away, eyes never leaving the man in front of you. You didn't know if this conversation would make a difference for the rest of the day or the rest of the summers, but if Mark was true to a hate he said, you could wait.

But if not, then maybe you just might hate him for real.

[mcflymemes]

GONE GIRL (2014) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

what are you thinking? how are you feeling? what have we done to each other?

i felt i needed to shoot something.

we've never fucked in a bookstore.

you know i have to kiss you now.

sometimes i want to punch us in the face, we're so cute.

when you're upset, you bottle up.

brought you a present.

i need you. now. touch me.

that's very sweet of you and very unnecessary.

pour me a bourbon, would you?

it's a bad day.

i'm so crazy, stupid happy.

i met a boy. a great, gorgeous, sweet, cool-ass guy.

things could get ugly.

whose beer am i drinking?

i prefer men who are funny, not "funny."

i'm the guy to save you from all this awesomeness.

it's hard to believe you. i think it's your chin.

you are way too into that cat.

tell me how it ends.

i'm not someone who hits the panic button, but... it's weird, right?

you mind if we look around?

so what do you do now? for work.

perfect, time for a quick tour of my failings.

i love your parents, but they can be assholes.

people want to hear from you.

i thought that'd be embarrassing.

i am here on a strictly journalistic capacity.

[name], you are beyond amazing. you are incredibly smart but entirely unsnobby. you are kind, but never a martyr.

you surprise me. you challenge me.

isn't it time we fixed that?

we're going to take this very, very seriously.

i go there for the quiet.

we're still not sure what we're dealing with.

please don't take that tone with me.

everyone told us... and told us and told us... marriage is hard work.

technically we're supposed to fuck at the next stop.

books, sex, bourbon... life is good.

i knew you shouldn't have moved back here.

maybe i'll teach you a thing or two.

i'm a little drunk.

let's swear we will never be like them.

everything else is background noise.

why are you throwing that in my face again?

it's like you're daring me to be someone i don't want to be.

i'm not that person. i'm your wife.

suddenly i knew everything was about to get worse.

i'm asking you nicely.

everyone is projecting their shit onto me.

i feel like i could disappear.

i've been so worried about you.

i don't want to fight. i just want to be with you. that's all i want.

you fucking lied to my fucking face.

for valentine's day, i thought i'd buy a gun.

you have to fucking talk to me!

i'm not going to be scared anymore.

this man of mine may kill me.

men always use that as the defining compliment, don't they? she's a cool girl.

i will admit. for someone who likes to win, it's tempting to be the girl every guy wants.

we were happy pretending to be other people.

i need to show you something.

see we have the same taste in men.

you're reading it again? you know how it ends.

whatever the hell they found, we have to assume it's very bad.

everyone would hate me.

why are you so good to me?

my defense is the truth.

i've never seen it in my life.

i feel myself fading.

i just said what you wanted to hear.

take off your clothes.

i'm a fighter. i fought my way back to you.

kiss my cheek.

you're not at risk anymore.

you know you can sleep with me, right?

we should hold hands.

you called me a murderer.

i haven't touched you.

i've killed for you.

[vendetta-ari]

Your fav anon is backkkkk! Hey Love! May I request a Vox (and you can include Lucifer too) x Artist (f!) reader headcannons? As I’ve said before, take your time! ♡ ♡

UGHH OH MY FUCKIN GOD IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO GET TO YOUR ASK BRO ILYSM ANON TYSM FOR YOU PATIENCE UR FRFR MY FAV ANON ♡♡♡

anyways, here Luci + Vox x artist reader

Lucifer

~ Lucifer and you always create and paint things together, he loves your creativity and he adores your art

~ You and Luci exchange ducks on special days, like valentine's day,  Christmas, and birthdays.

~ You always exchange art tips with each other,  bother being artists and your own unique ways.

~ Many times you have painted Lucifer's ducks for him when he's feeling down.

~ You two took a picture on your anniversary and you printed it out and painted it, he hangs it up on his wall and he always says its “The best thing I've ever, ever owned my dear!” he always gets all cheery and smiles when he sees it

~ You paint lucifers nails for him, last time you made a lil duck design on them

~ People can always tell when you two have been hanging out because the two of you are all giggly and smiling covered in paint

~ You painted a mural in his room, an apple using both his and your favorite colors

~ you give all your art pieces to Luci, you tried to sell one of them and the poor guy almost cried

~ he's basically drowning in your paintings and all your artwork, he doesn't mind at all though. although he is running out of space…

~ whatever he'll just expand his room to fit more of your work.

~ you have forced Lucifer to let you do makeup on him, he wasn't too happy but you laughed your ass off at his annoyance and makeup covered face

~ He cant stay mad at you for too long though, when your mad at luci you'll grab one of his ducks and paint them a different color completely and rub paint off some off his other ducks

~ when you finally calm down you repaint all for them with him though, as an apology. 

~ the two of you often take walks through the rings of hell for inspiration 

~ surprisingly, the screams of everyone being tortured is great to get those creative juices flowing

Vox

☆ Now let's be for real here guys, Vox can't draw for shit, so him being with an artist reader is kinda cute and unique and funny

☆ But you on the other hand, “your art is beautiful! n’ it should be hung up in a museum or something like that doll, I seriously dunno how you do it”

☆ During certain shows where they need sets, props, or anything related to that, you'll be the one painting them being the first to volunteer  you totally didn't draw a dick kn one of the sets and embarrass him on live television pft- noo psh- hah why would you ever do such a thing? it must've been val!

☆ You couldn't keep your laughter when Vox drew that picture of Alastor when be was throwing his hissy fit on live television 

☆ you redraw a picture of Alastor for Vox to tear up crumble and kick around as a stress reliever 

☆ Vox realized that you drew a picture of Alastor, didn't matter what it was for you still drew him, just then he got angry again and demanded that you draw a picture of him

☆ just one more thing to stroke his ego I suppose 

☆ You and velvette are besties, she often steals you away from Vox so you two can draw up outfits

☆ and he totally doesn't ever never get mad at her because of that

☆ You often draw in a red and blue journal Vox gave you as a gift once, it was in a whim but you still love it dearly 

☆ you draw pictures of him and you together with little hearts around them, but vox doesn't need to know that

☆ but one time he did look through your journal, out of curiosity. trying to hide the blush that spread across his face, he grabbed a pen and wrote little messages on a few of your doodles "Didn't know she was that obsessed with me" he mumbled under his breath while flipping through the pages

☆ “We're gonna recreate this photo tomorrow,  meet me at my office in 4:00 dollface” -Vox

☆ when you noticed the note you almost lost your mind fangirling over this TV man

☆So you did as you were told and met him at his office, getting there a little bit early

☆ And just like that he picked you up and carried you bridal style to his chair, kissing you softly all over, with you giggling and blushing, creating your drawing perfectly.

-xoxo, Ari

[thegnomelord]

A mostly random combination of dialogue and action prompts to celebrate all of you bc, seriously, ya'll are amazing :),

Rules: Max 2 characters for a prompt but then it's gonna be poly, you can specify reader's gender/specific au/if characters are trans or cis. I'm only doing a prompt once. I tagged the characters I'm confident writing for but ya'll can ask for other ones :Dd. + indicates what's taken but i've yet to write.

Remaining free prompts: 21, 24, 27, 31

I only do Male/GN reader.

Game lasts until the 1st of December

"Do you-" "If you suggest I sit in your lap I'll kill you."

“That’s enough. Take a cold shower and when you’re done come back to me.  Don’t dress yourself.  No drying off."

“Tell me how I’m supposed to un-love you, then. Tell me. Spare me.”

“You look like you want to devour them.” +

“My feelings aren’t real and my heart’s a fucking idiot.”

"This doesn't mean anything, right? We're just friends?" +

“Well, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, okay? But it happened and I can’t do shit about it.” “You… What?” 

"If this is a joke it isn't funny."

"You have a piercing where?"

“Bet you they don’t make you sound like that, do they?” +

“That could be us.” “That is us.” +

"What, did you think all those times I kissed you were for shits and giggles?" "Let's be real, you had a lot of fun shoving your tongue down my throat in public." +

"Get up." +

"I’m in a good mood today, you may choose your punishment this time but only if you ask for it politely." +

"Come here. Sit in my lap and tell me what you want." +

"What are you doing up so late?" +

Oral as punishment +

Sex after a near death experience +

Becoming self-conscious after the clothes come off +

Trusting enough to give up control

Discussing boundaries before doing something new in bed

Playing with their hand. +

Washing their hair

Trying to find those little souvenirs with your names on it

Drunk confessions

Pulling them closer by the back of the neck

Going to sleep after an argument

Forehead kisses

A hug from behind

Kissing scars

Somehow your training session turns into a tickle fight

Finding their OnlyFans account

[ilythena]

𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐌𝐄. | Jude Bellingham.

★ SUM based off of the "she lives inside me" Trend on TikTok where people show happy videos of them as a child! It was super cute and made me emotional, just had to do something with it.

Fluff! Reader and Jude are moving into a new apartment, and are supposed to be childhood friends to established lovers. Football tags were so dry so I decided to post a fic, so please don’t rip on me </3

Running through the hallway with Jude hot on your tail, you giggle and hide behind a wall. Not like it was any use though, he saw you and grabbed you, the both of you laughing and plopping down on the couch in the now empty apartment you both shared.

"Are we done with the packing? I can't believe we're moving out of here." Jude says, now calmed down and throwing his head back with a sigh.

"We still have the small closet in the hallway to clear." You say, not wasting anymore time and getting up to open it. "Seriously? We haven't opened that thing in like, years babe." "I know!

That's why we have to clear it out!" You giggle, and pull on the door with it not budging. It's jammed. Jude seems to notice this and like the gentleman he is, he gets up and pulls the door for you, but being buried in a pile of old jackets in mere seconds after he opened it.

You can't control the loud laugh that comes out when he forces his was out of the pile. He groans out a “not funny” and stands up, dusting himself off. After Jude is officially out of the pile, you notice a small camera that also came out of the closet, all old and busted up. You pick it up out of curiosity and try to figure out how to turn it on.

"What's that?" "A camera... Duh." “Y/n. No need for the attitude.” Jude stands behind you, looking into the small camera at the screen as you fumble with the buttons. “Babe that thing is so old it's definitely not turning on at all.” He says, and rests his head on your shoulder. "You never know! It might—see! It's on!"

You click on a video and it starts playing. Immediately you hear "Y/n! Jude!" And you know it's the familiar voice of your mother in the video, as the camera zooms around and you see a nursery school—it doesn't take you long to realize this is a video of you as a kid.

Playful screaming is heard from children who you assume are from you and Jude, and when you both pop up in the video you can't stop yourself from cooing out in adoration. You both couldn't be any older than 5, considering the fact that you were super small and running around with all the energy in the world.

"You're so cute!" You say as you look down at the video, and Jude points to you, who is currently laying in the dirt with your feet up and kicking. Your mother comes closer to you, happiness evident in her voice. "You okay?" And you nod with a smile and closed eyes. Jude comes closer to your mother and grabs the camera, forcing it off you and onto him instead.

"Always loved attention huh" you laugh and he huffs with a smile. "At least I'm not laying in the dirt for no reason!" "I was young!" "So was I!" you shove him away playfully before grabbing him back to look at the rest of the video.

"Y/n's being mean." Jude says in the video, and you hear yourself huff out a 'am not!' In the background. Your mother laughs and asks him to explain why—the answer was "she wants to play football and I don't like it."

The video ends and the both of you laugh, "crazy how football was your first love yet I'm the professional player" Jude says and you roll your eyes "listen, I could become a professional if I wanted to "oh really? You up for a game then?" He says and you scoff "bring it on, Jude!"

You both know you should probably clean up the pile of jackets before deciding to do anything else, but you decide maybe it could wait a few hours.

© copyright of ilythena. Do not repost or translate onto any other websites.

[banamine-bananime]

Church, without warning: I actually - I'm not going to lie to you. I think I might already be legally married. To Lavernius Tucker. Wash, who was just trying to have a silent morning coffee and was most certainly not prepared for this but feels that he's probably obligated to take this seriously: Is it... legally... recognized? Church: I think, well - Church: Church: It's by an ordained Minister. Cause Sarge is apparently, somehow, a registered, ordained Minister. Wash, clutching his coffee Very Tightly: Church: and the paperwork was all filed and shit Wash: Church: so am I Church: Am I, like already legally married? Church: Is this going to be an issue if I want to marry Tex in the Vegas Quadrant or something? Wash: Wash: When you get married AS A BIT - Wash, Very Deliberately Calming Down: Wash: you're not supposed to actually get married. What the hell were you thinking? Church: What? It was for a video. Wash, no longer very deliberately calming down: Yeah. But you still signed the paperwork. YOU GOT MARRIED.

Tucker: I got a call yesterday, he's like, 'my sister's seen the video, you know, you didn't invite her. Yeah, moment's gone, and you didn't invite her, and she's fallen out with me, Tucker. And now - now she's fallen out with you'. And I'm like OH. So I look and I'm in bad with the Church family. *giggling nervously* We will not be speaking to Carolina again. I have some apologies - I think I have made a severe and continuous lapse in - oh god. Oh shit.

_________

Church: Just sign it. Tucker: Why? Church: BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED TO BE LEGALLY MARRIED. THIS IS CRAZY. Tucker: It's funny Church: You're not even in my will. Tucker: Why? I'm your husband! Church: My will is 'fuck you all, everything goes to charity'. Tucker: Give it to the charity of me! Church: We're not married. We're not staying married. This is crazy. You're being crazy. Just sign the divorce papers. Tucker: Let's sort this once and for all. If Tex - if Tex - if Tex wants me to drop this, for us to split up, I can, alright? I can see - Church: Just sign it. Tucker: - 'Cause I care about her. Tucker: Right. Okay. I texted Tex - I texted Tex, and she just replied - Tucker: "Get it together, honey."

Tucker, coming out years in the future: I'm bicurious so I can say like 1/5th of it. How about that, you 'ggots? Wash, trying to figure out whether it's biphobic to murder him:

so. i'm not a mcyt fan but from accidentally coming across this very weird mcyt nightmare polycule i have been unable to stop myself from gawking at it like a train derailment and i do think this could be a very real chexer situation. if you are not familiar:

this post is made from actual words that have been said with a few minor alterations

[haleigh-sloth]

Alastor, the wild card

Okay, I have to get this out because it's driving me nuts not having it written down.

I watched Hazbin Hotel. I watched the pilot 4 years ago, immediately liked Alastor. 4 years go by and he gets put on the back burner, but now that the main series has begun, oohhhhh boy.

This is basically just me laying out everything I think is going on with/going to happen with Alastor--the seeming wild card--and then what I ultimately think his end game will somewhat look like. Alastor has a lot of different little plot points going on with him, that all point in different directions, but I believe will all end up pointing at one specific ending. I'll go through the different plot directions tied to him in a list but not in the particular order I think they will occur, because I'm really not sure of that yet other than the last:

Beef with the Vees, Vox specifically

Lucifer

His deal, in other words his "leash"

His relationship to the hotel and everyone in it

His relationship to Charlie

Not a long list but a lot of thoughts altogether so here goes.

The Vees and Vox:

I'll start here, but this ties into other stuff later. The Vees, very much MOSTLY Vox and Valentino, are problems. They're these media industrial overlords who own people (it's such a mystery what type of modern-day issues these 3 characters are touching on), and they exploit, take advantage of, and harm people. They're clearly antagonists, even if not the main ones at this time. Now for the sake of keeping this about Alastor, we're gonna focus on Vox, because obviously they have past beef. We don't know ALL the details of what it is (aside from Alastor rejecting Vox's offer), but we know it resulted in a fight in which he "almost" beat Vox. And it seems they were on decent terms at one point, evidenced by what looks like Vox's head in this torn out photo that Vox had pinned to his board in the finale:

Alastor has an ego. He's an overlord. A highly regarded one, and he's obviously strong. He writes off pretty much everyone around him. He doesn't seem to be afraid of anyone, or even remotely bothered by people who show up to attack him or the hotel. He only shows any kind of acknowledgement of someone else's strength when he goes to the overlord meeting in episode 3. But outside of that, he does not seem to give anyone else the time of day.

So that's really funny considering that when Vox starts trash talking him on TV, he takes the bait and gets competitive. He goes on the air, he trash talks back, he gets personal with it. And when Vox loses signal, Alastor continues sending a final, very sinister warning.

And he's not being his usual joke-y self. He's being serious. He's turning into his Wendigo-looking form, which is quite scary looking. We're supposed to take him seriously here because he's not writing Vox off. He is, for lack of a better way of putting it, taking Vox seriously as an opponent. He's being usually egotistical, but he's still putting more effort into this little social media battle than he has for (almost) any other opponent. And not to mention, Vox was shown in the pilot:

So, while this was pretty much shelved for the reason of season 1, it's coming back. And it's going to be an issue for everyone, including Alastor.

Lucifer:

This is going to be my second favorite section of this post. Because it's hilarious, and also somewhat endearing to me how he reacted to meeting Lucifer. I'm sure people noticed, but when Lucifer walked in and hugged Charlie, the frame moved up to show Alastor's face, and his eye was twitching in that moment.

Then a moment later they shake hands, and he wipes his hand off on his coat. And later Lucifer bumps into his arm when walking past him and he brushes his arm off-again. Clearly, Alastor does not like Lucifer. Now, I'm like 100% sure there are yet-to-be-revealed reasons for this that have not even been remotely touched on (Lilith), but there are some obvious guesses we can make based on what we now have in season 1.

There's the fact that Alastor's ego is present here. He points out Lucifer's height, in a condescending way. So that's a thing, but I think it goes beyond that. I'll dive into Alastor and Charlie toward the end, but I do think Charlie is part of the reason for his behavior in episode 5. Alastor is showing off his additions to the hotel, but he isn't really boasting about himself at this point. He's being very pointed about giving Charlie all of the credit, and he is very intentional about saying what an "impressive young lady" she is and saying how "VERY proud" THEY (meaning him and the others there) are of her. It's very odd and hilarious that he's pulling all of this out in front of her dad. I mean, I have my guesses, but given that Alastor then starts challenging her dad in a sing-off, saying he's a dud of a parent, and just straight up saying he could be her dad--I'd say Lucifer's lack of effort in Charlie bugs the shit out of Alastor. I'll explain more on that later, though.

The last point I'll make here to transition into the next section is that I'm sure Lilith has something to do with this disdain for Lucifer. However, I'm really not sure what side of Lilith Alastor knows. My guess is it isn't a good side though.

Which brings me to Alastor's "leash", the handler being Lilith.

I mean, this feels as on the nose as the Dabi is Touya theories. Alastor's been gone for 7 years. Lilith has been gone for 7 years. Vestial said he heard a rumor Alastor fell into "holy arms". We know Lilith is chillin in heaven (but other people don't..so again, mystery). Alastor won't tell anyone why he was gone. We know someone owns Alastor in some way right now. I mean....it's gotta be Lilith. It could be a red herring and be a complete surprise later, but it feels like something very obvious that we just won't get to see for a while and will have to wait in anticipation. Lilith is not painted in the best light right this second, but honestly it's impossible to tell whether she's actually Not Great or if there's layers to this. My guess is probably a little of both.

Alastor being involved with the hotel could be because of Lilith. That also feels somewhat obvious, though again, I'll dive into Charlie in a second.

Hazbin Hotel:

Things start to somewhat all tie together here.

Okay let's take this back to the pilot when Alastor introduced himself to the show. He said he views the hotel as an investment for entertainment, and a lost cause, and something to laugh about. He repeats this in episode 1 to remind everyone that he still views Charlie's vision as something impossible to achieve and something to laugh at. Howeverrrrrr--

We shouldn't ignore the fact that ever since he showed up to "help", under the guise that he thinks the hotel is a joke, he has given a lot more than he had originally stated he'd intended. For someone supposedly who enjoys watching others fail and fall into misery, he sure does put a lot of effort into something he considers to be a massive joke. And the funny thing is that he says in the pilot that redemption is impossible, but we literally KNOW IT'S NOT. Sir Pentious immediately brings Alastor's motive for involving himself with the hotel into question. Of course we have no idea how much Alastor actually knows about redemption, but we can't disregard the very real possibility that he's involved with Lilith (holy arms) and the very real possibility that he's aware of her whereabouts (heaven). We don't know all of those details yet. But what we do know is that all of Alastor's efforts are fueling something that is working. SO HIS EFFORTS ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE..

So I guess that brings me to--what does he actually think of the hotel? Like reeeeaaallly think of it?

His behavior throughout the 8 episodes shifts significantly from the pilot and episode 1 even. He repeats it's a joke in episode 1. And then continues to put genuine efforts into keeping Charlie from giving up even when things get tough and she feels really beaten down. (I'll tie this into why I think he dislikes Lucifer in the Charlie sections).

I also am questioning his real vision of the hotel because it is certainly not something to be ignored that he put Husker and Niffty into the hotel--the hotel about redemption and salvation. Yeah, he's an overlord. He owns their souls. But he's forcing them to stay in a hotel that we literally already KNOW is going to save them in some way. Husker and Angel have their thing going, which will be a good thing. Niffty has a group of people who will protect her, evidenced by episode 6. So, again, Alastor's efforts are all leading to Charlie's hotel being nothing but successful (in the end). But yet he says it's all a joke.

And I think the biggest hint at there being something more here is that Alastor willingly put himself against Adam. And we KNOW that Alastor is leashed somehow. His wings are "clipped". And he ran off to go have a quick little break down in private about almost being killed because of this. Obviously his powers are shackled per his deal.

And yet? He still pit himself against Adam. Knowing this about himself. He also DID almost die for them--his friends, if we can assume he really meant that (I think later on that will be the case). This notion obviously bothers him, a lot. He went to his broadcast station and freaked out over the fact that he really did almost die for them. And then he still went back, knowing that they know he lost his fight. What a blow to his ego! He's the only one who lost and they all know it because they had to deal with Adam after he left.

I won't write off the possibility that he has to be there per some deal (assuming it's Lilith), but that doesn't negate the fact that his demeanor toward the hotel and everyone there changed from beginning of season 1 to the end.

We don't know yet what Alastor really thinks, yet. That's internal and won't be shown until later. But I don't think it's wise to take his word for it from the pilot and from episode 1, and then ignore everything that came after when it's obvious his behavior shows something else entirely.

Lastly, his relationship to Charlie ties everything together.

Again, this started off as a joke to him. He SAYS that he thinks Charlie is working for something impossible. And yet throughout the season he's been shown to be really endearing toward her.

I think my favorite part showing this was him telling her in episode 7 that "It's not like you've ever failed to inspire before." He meant himself. Because in that same sequence Charlie says she usually sings to get her point across but it never works. Except it did, because that's literally what brought Alastor to her doorstep.

That, plus Alastor's obvious disdain for her father that he shows when she isn't looking (the eye twitch), him trying to motivate her from giving up when she's all depressed, him singing about her with Rosie. I think he genuinely admires her and finds her inspiring, and genuinely likes her. Which is really interesting when you look at how he reacted to the presence of her father, and when you consider the very real possibility that he's very much indebted to her mother. Their dynamic is by far my favorite because Alastor is just very NOT easy to read.

However there is a problem that will come up later, and it's the deal he made with Charlie.

So now I'll try to tie everything together:

Alastor has this unsettled business with Vox. He isn't going to let it go. It's going to be a problem somehow. Alastor is stuck in a deal with someone, it's going to be a problem somehow. Alastor now has an unfulfilled deal with Charlie. It's going to be a problem somehow. Alastor hasn't made any vocal admittance that he doesn't view the hotel as a joke, so his front about it being impossible is still kind of there, and that's coupled with the fact that we know he's wrong. All of these things are obstacles to what I'm PRETTY SURE is going to be the hotel's final and biggest obstacle and success:

redeeming Alastor.

Before I go further I'm going to touch on the pilot here.

There are three very bold statements made in the pilot:

"Inside of every demon is a rainbow."

"Inside of every demon is a lost cause."

"He can't be redeemed."

Who is right?

Well, CHARLIE is the heart of the show. The core of what the show wants to portray--redemption and salvation. (Hams is probably right that she is a Jesus figure). I think the odds are in her favor. ALASTOR made a statement that we now have very solid undeniable evidence disproving, now that season 1 is over. So he's out. VAGGIE ended up having a dark and painful secret that she's done unforgivable things to Charlie's home. And yet, she's making the judgment call about Alastor? I think she's out. And also, her statement is the introduction to one of the biggest challenges in the show for Charlie. Because Charlie believes in the opposite of what Alastor and Vaggie are saying. And like I said, the odds are in Charlie's favor.

Now, Alastor obviously doesn't seem like the type to want redemption, or strive for that. Because I'm pretty sure he's not. For now, on the surface. There are a lot of negative things in his way. His beef with Vox and his deal shackling his powers that he wants freedom from. And I'd honestly bet money that those things will all stand in the way of Charlie redeeming him because he'll be focused on these things that keep him from wanting to do better and change--even though throughout season 1 he already showed slow but undeniable signs of changing, whether he wants to admit it or not.

But I think the point of his arc is to end up being someone who does want better. I think his obvious liking for Charlie is something that will save him from a dark and desperate place, a place we've kind of already gotten a peak into. And I think that at the end of the day, every ounce of effort he put into the hotel for Charlie, under the guise of it being for his entertainment, will all end up helping him the most out of everyone in the end.

And I'm very excited.

[jessicas-pi]

📓📓📓

So originally I was gonna do 3, but this one got REALLY long, sooo....

May I present the Jedi Get Hitched AU?

I posted about it once before here (and it got FANART!!!!) but other than that I haven't said much of anything else, soooo... here's more! and it's ENORMOUSLY self-indulgent.

The basic premise of the AU is that the clone wars end happily except the clones don't have rights but the Jedi find a loophole that will make them recognized as sentient citizens if one of them marries a Jedi, cue Aayla kicking open the door to the jedi council with bly in tow like I VOLUNTEER

ANYWAY. bly and aayla get married (they both freak out about it and Fox and Quinlan respectively have to give them pep talks before the wedding.) All seems well... and then Anakin saunters into the Jedi Council room one day and brings up that now that they're getting married (it was a one time thing, skywalker--) NOW THAT THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED, maybe they should consider that perhaps it would lower political tensions if a Jedi married, like, a senator or a planetary ruler or something. and the council is all like 🙄 skywalker we know this is just about you and senator amidala and he's like what??? haha no, i was talking about obi-wan and duchess satine. but while we're on the topic, i could definitely marry senator amidala too. she just adopted those twins and i could help raise them. they're force-sensitive, what a crazy coincidence amiright?? and plo and shaak are just lowkey planning their wedding and subsequent adoption of All Their Sons and mace. mace wants a break. please.

fast forward in time. Several more jedi have gotten married. Mace has retired from the council, citing "an excess of tomfoolery and nuptials" as his reason. Anakin married Padme, Obi-Wan married Satine and they officially adopted Korkie as their son, and Quinlan Vos and Asajj Ventress got married. Vostress is also currently running a jedi-nightsister exchange student program...

...which is how Merrin, 16 and slightly awkward but eager to learn more, ends up in the Jedi Temple, with a few other Nightsisters, though they're all a few years younger than her. Cal is assigned to give them the tour.

"Welcome to the Jedi Temple!" he says, holding one hand out to her and the other hand waving around them, indicating basically the whole jedi temple. it's supposed to be just a gesture, but then Merrin puts her hand in his. Completely seriously. Cal is like "...okay" and they hold hands for the rest of the tour.

Five years later, there is a second jedi-nightsister wedding.

Jocasta is delighted at the number of records being set within her lifetime.

(Jocasta is also officiating all the weddings, btw.)

A couple years after Mace resigns from the council, he decides to plan a shatterpoint lineage family vacation. So Mace, Depa, Grey (who is an unofficial part of their family), Caleb, and Caleb's brand-new Padawan, 11-year-old Ezra (who is pretty young to be a padawan, but he was following caleb around all the time anyway so caleb figured he might as well just make the apprenticeship official), all pack up... and go to Ryloth.

Caleb, who twenty-five at this point, promptly gets his first crush.

Mace Regrets This Vacation. He's actually started seeing marriage Shatterpoints. Depa and Grey, meanwhile, think it's really really funny that Caleb gets flustered around Hera, and Ezra has made more than a few insinuations about political alliances via marriage. Depa warns him that Caleb will get his revenge, but Ezra dismisses it. (Said revenge does come about, several years later, in the form of Caleb asking if Madame Nu needs to prepare to officiate the second Jedi-Mandalorian marriage in recorded history. Ezra kicks him in the shin. smh padawans these days just have NO respect for their masters.)

Ezra highly encourages Caleb to marry Hera.

It does not take much convincing.

[hunieday]

Iori, Yuki, Touma 2024 Shuffle talk RabbiTV Episode 3

Episode 1 - Episode 2 - Episode 3

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Yuki: ...I thought we were supposed to take a bus to the flower field…

Izumi Iori: We came by bus to the foot of the mountain. We've only been walking for about ten minutes.

Inumaru Touma: Well, a little stroll ain’t so bad, is it? We'll be there in no time if we chat in the meantime!

Yuki: Yeah, if we chat... So then, tell us something interesting.

Inumaru Touma: Huh!? Interesting...!? That's too sudden!

Inumaru Touma: Um, well let me tell you something that happened backstage the other day...

Yuki: You came up with something pretty quick for a sudden request.

Izumi Iori: Indeed, Inumaru-san's responsiveness is impressive, but is it appropriate to share that story here?

Inumaru Touma: Ahaha! It's fine, don’t worry! I just wanna say that we’ve never seen our manager laugh so hard before.

Inumaru Touma: So, I tried my best to show off my weirdest face but everyone recoiled... Do you wanna see it?

Yuki: Yes I do.

Izumi Iori: Your reactions are quick too...

Yuki: I forget because Momo does it quite often, but I think idols making funny faces are quite rare.

Izumi Iori: Hmm... I don't quite understand, but I am certainly curious about a weird face that makes people recoil.

Inumaru Touma: Alright, here goes! ...Gyuu!

Yuki ＆ Izumi Iori: ...!

Izumi Iori: What on earth happened to your facial features...!? How is it even possible that they’re all concentrated in the middle like that...?

Inumaru Touma: E-erm, please stop inspecting me from this close...

Yuki: …pfft, hahaha... Touma-kun's weird face and Iori-kun analyzing it on top of it is hilarious…

Inumaru Touma: T-Thanks for praising my weird face! ...Phew. Can I stop now...? Izumi...

Izumi Iori: I'm sorry. I have witnessed the wonders of the human body.

Yuki: Alright, your turn Iori-kun. Do something entertaining.

Izumi Iori: I refuse.

Inumaru Touma: Quick reaction!

Izumi Iori: Unfortunately I do not possess such talents.

Yuki: Even though it's your senpai's order...

Izumi Iori: ... I won a "Seasonal Vegetable Assortment Set" in a lucky draw the other day. Would you like to come over and eat some? Nii-san will be cooking something delicious for us.

Yuki: I'm in.

Inumaru Touma: Yuki-san is bribed with vegetables...!

Yuki: Mitsuki-kun's cooking is delicious. Touma-kun, why don't you come over too?

Izumi Iori: By all means. There's plenty to go around.

Inumaru Touma: Seriously!? I'm so happy! Thank you...!

Yuki: Oh, look, you two. A flower field!

Inumaru Touma ＆ Yuki ＆ Izumi Iori: Wow...!

Izumi Iori: The view is magnificent. There are hydrangeas in shades of light blue and pale purple as far as the eye can see...

Yuki: It truly is like a "carpet of flowers". It must feel amazing to lie down there.

Inumaru Touma: I'm glad I came here...!

Staff: Congratulations, everyone. Mission accomplished!

Staff: Thank you very much for your hard work even in this hot weather. There are benches here, so feel free to take a break and enjoy the scenery!

Izumi Iori: Yes, thank you very much.

Inumaru Touma: I feel a great sense of accomplishment...

Izumi Iori: ...Indeed. I've discovered how invigorating mountain climbing can be.

Inumaru Touma: No matter how tough the journey is, all the hardships will blow away if there’s a view this beautiful waiting for you!

Yuki: ...Sounds the same as being an idol.

Inumaru Touma: Oh, maybe! Even if we're struggling with lessons and work every day, seeing the smiles of our fans makes us feel like we can keep going the next day!

Izumi Iori: Speaking of mountain climbing, have you heard this phrase?

Izumi Iori: "Life is like climbing a mountain. Once you've climbed it, you have to come down eventually. If you keep climbing without descending, then you lose."

Yuki: ...It’s hard for people to maintain their spot when they achieve something and reach the top, they have to come down eventually to aim for the next peak.

Inumaru Touma: ...That's deep...

Izumi Iori: Yuki-san mentioning that it sounds like our job reminded me of it.

Inumaru Touma: Does Re:vale ever have a thing called going down a mountain?

Yuki: Of course we do. But it's not about descending the mountain. It's about not resting on our laurels and continuing to strive to create something great, one song at a time.

Yuki: Isn't that true for you guys too?

Inumaru Touma: …! Yes... I want to challenge myself more and more with us four in ŹOOĻ.

Izumi Iori: It’s the same for us in IDOLiSH7. Each member's composition and choreography skills are improving, but we still haven't seen the end goal yet.

Yuki: Fufu, that's scary. Re:vale can't just sit back and relax when we have such strong-willed children.

Inumaru Touma: I'm really glad I came here.We were able to talk about the future together because of it.

Izumi Iori: We'll be rivals again tomorrow.

Yuki: Can't we be friends for today? I don’t think I can go down this mountain without Iori-kun and Touma-kun.

Inumaru Touma: Haha! Of course! Let's talk as we go down!

Yuki: That's good to hear. Then I wanna see Iori-kun's weird face on our way down.

Izumi Iori: I-I thought the vegetables were enough...!?

Izumi Iori: ...I'll have to resort to my last trick. How about looking at a photo of Nanase-san's weird face instead?

Yuki: Wait. Even the concept is already funny. I really wanna see it.

Inumaru Touma: You guys take photos of each other’s weird faces!? That's awesome...!

Izumi Iori: They were sent by my brother during a party.

Yuki: Thanks. I think we can still have fun thanks to you two.

End of Episode 3.

[amorganva]

Just a bunch of random interesting Lies of P stuff I've seen so far because I still love this game:

So the workshop was established 1868....which means that we're in the year 1889 or around that timeframe based on the grand exhibition signs.

Apparently Sophia has a diary? and this is the only page: Master Cherry gives the Piece of wood to his friend Geppetto At that very moment a loud knock sounded on the door It was Geppetto, an old friend of Master Cherry. The boys of the neighborhood called him Polendina because of the wig he always wore, which was just the color of yellow corn. He was known to dislike children, and even more so when they called him Polendina.

on some of the plaques at the grand exhibition

The Krat k for reference and the devs having fun sneaking pics onto bottles lol

The music sheet on the piano is the sheet music for the Oblivion soundtrack of the game. I also wonder why P chooses to play that particular piece that he plays as his humanity increases, why is it stuck in your head P?....on to another Carmeo doodle! I mean seriously the first few notes of the Estella Opera theme sound like humanity level 1 P trying the piano....like there's this specific tune in his mind. Like the two used to play together or Carlo the bougie being good at playing would teach Romeo, the kid from the streets. And the whole level P would hear that tune ....operafied and extra because it's Romeo, cmon, but also as a reminder like -Hey...remember, buddy?

Just for reference purposes, when exported directly, Romeo is a giant at almost 9 ft - while P is about 6'4" when not constantly in battle stance. But Sophia and every other NPC in Krat is also about 6 feet when directly exported so the characters aren't made to scale - youngest of the BRBH is as tall as Sophia without ears. I read somewhere that Carlo is supposed to be around 5'3" on average and 5'6" at the tallest (people being shorter back then etc....our short king) so in my headcanon for my doodles reference I scaled Romeo to be about 5'10", just a bit taller than Carlo. Idk why I make him taller but there's something about his nickname Lampwick which just meant that he's skinny and polished looking in the original context but it got in my head that he's just tall and skinny and I'm rolling with it. Funny that his puppet form is so rusted and kinda clunky and raggedy looking for someone so well put together presumably before he died. The most unruly of Pinocchio's friends but also the nicest guy in this universe--- don't get me started on Romeo again gigachad of a friend///

Also something you can't really see ingame cuz resolution but irl all records are by Trilogy Records and Feel in particular is "Song of Vamp, Rosa Milan" ....no clue what it means.

the placeholder used for Romeo's play in the trailers....but also Hotel Krat before it became a Hotel in a bustling city?

Question: Blue hair Sophia or Brown hair? Short hair P or long hair P? (I like short hair because it's an iconic look and the devs clearly spent a lot of time fine tuning it when you look at the trailers lol, long hair to me just feels so....basic) Also P's hair is aktschually brown.....it just looks really dark ingame and in all the artwork they just chose to make it black-looking. So Carlo and P technically have the same hair, he just doesn't have P's freckles which....a choice was made by Geppetto and I respect it.

You can read this oddly specific daffodil newspaper texture and this letter.....like why is this so high res??

It's a shame you can't see some of this stuff unless you actually take a close look at the game files but I like to snoop. I just wanna see more of Krat...like a tour video or something or a book before it all kinda went to hell. Thanks Geppetto ....and/or Simon.

[lumiconic]

“ all i see tonight ”

✧ slow dancing at a party with 6REEZE (not a sequel to 'if you'd say you love me' just in the same setting!)

✧ kunikuzushi, venti, kazuha, heizou, aether, xiao ; idol au ; not proofread

request from @darthvada ! i hope you enjoy and once again sorry for the wait :'))

  the lights are swirling above you, beaming a blue and white glow upon kunikuzushi's scowling face. it's almost enough to make him look pretty, with his sharp, feminine features and expensive suit matching his shiny dark hair, but the perpetual look of fury on his face always ruins what could otherwise be a contender for the role of main visual.

  "why do we have to do this, exactly?" he grumbles, swiping his blunt bangs off of his forehead. even his motions are angry, you think with a wry smile, and he seems to take that personally, narrowing his eyes. "what's funny?"

  "nothing," you say, shrugging slightly. "and... i mean, no one's forcing you to, but it's supposed to be a party. we're here to celebrate you guys!"

  "whatever." he cuts his eyes towards heizou, dancing with a pretty green-haired girl in a purple tuxedo. "look at him. how does he not get embarrassed when he's so obviously trying to show off?"

  "i don't think heizou ever gets embarrassed," you say dryly, placing one hand on your hip and tilting your head. "seriously though, if you don't want to dance, you can go home. i'm sure xiao has already taken his leave."

  "no," he says quickly. "that's fine. i'll just stay here until everyone else is done. i don't really wanna walk home in the dark." you nod, shifting your attention back to the others. as the lights pass on and off of your face, throwing you into sharp clarity and then blurry shadows, kuni resists the urge to look, just to watch the way it reflects off your face like you're underwater.

  the two of you stand in silence, both watching the couples dancing. it's so hot in here, kuni thinks, pulling his collar away from him as he wipes sweat off his forehead. he really should have gone home by now. why is he even still here?

  maybe because you look so pathetic, standing here on your own. yeah... pathetic. lonely, even. that sounds right. it would just be rude, not to mention boring to go home at this point. he shoves his hands into his pockets, looking down at the floor.

  "um, kuni," you start. he blinks, looking over at you. there's a faint flush on your cheeks. "would you dance with me, maybe? it could be more fun than just standing here, right? only if you want to." you extend your hand, your lips slightly pursed as you wait for a response.

  once again, you look so pathetic holding out your hand like that. he stares at it for a second. he can see that your nails need clipping, the gleaming gold polish chipped. he can't possibly refuse -- the expression on your face is so earnest, so hopeful, and -- anyway, he doesn't want to risk offending the person in charge of all his deals.

  he hesitates for barely a second, then says, "okay. fine." as he takes your hand and you move slowly towards the center of the room, he's sure you can feel how sweaty his palm is, which makes him want to snatch it back instantly. there's something so embarrassing about the idea of you being able to feel his nervousness.

  wait, no, it's not nervousness, because he's not nervous! it's just because it's hot in here. that's all. and of course it's hot, with all the people crammed into the room, and why is he here again? just because he didn't want to hurt your feelings? it's so ridiculous, the way his brain is going into overdrive over nothing at all. why is he always like this around you?

  seemingly not noticing his dilemma, you say, "here, you lead", gingerly guiding his hand to your hip, and his face bursts into color. he dips his head, trying to hide it from you as you continue to fix your position. "have you ever done this before?"

  "no," he manages to get out, clearing his throat. "no, i haven't. is that -- is that a problem?"

  "no, that's fine," you hum, in the same calm, reassuring tone you usually use towards him. from anyone else, it would only aggravate him more, but it's different somehow. "technically, i should lead since i have more experience, but you're a bit stronger than me -- "

  he smirks, and you glare. "a bit, i said, and it's only because you do more training. anyways, it'll be easier with you leading. just follow what the others are doing, and i'll tell you if you need any help. okay?"

  he nods without answering. you almost ask if he's nervous -- his fingers, interlaced with yours, are clenching so tightly that it nearly hurts -- but that might lead him to refuse dancing entirely, and his eyes, softening into an almost gentle focus as you begin to sway back and forth, are shining so brightly under the lights.

  after a few minutes, his instincts from years of dancing seem to take over, and he starts to time your movements to the quiet classical music being played in the corner of the room. a step with a loud chord from the piano, a sweep of his arm as the violin crescendos. it's easier and easier to follow his lead.

  of course, he had no reason to be nervous. his arrogant exterior makes it hard to believe it sometimes, but he's so talented. sometimes, it takes your breath away.

  "this isn't so bad, right?" you ask. he takes a moment to respond, shaking his head as if coming out of a dream. "i mean... i don't hate it, but it's not my thing." his response is typically clipped, said with an edge, but it doesn't quite feel the same as usual. maybe it's the tight grip he has on your arm, as if he's afraid you're going to slip away.

  "oh, it's not fun?" you say, slightly disappointed. "sorry, i thought you might enjoy it. since dancing is your thing, and all."

  "not this kind of dancing," he says, a small grin on his lips. the usual kuni smile, more of a smirk than anything. "but it's fine. i'm starting to get it."

  "naturally." you smile back, and his eyes glimmer just a bit brighter.

  the violin player goes into a solo, notes climbing higher and higher, and he steps sideways, pulling you into an unexpected twirl. you follow without hesitation, spinning on your heel, easily able to keep your balance with his firm grip above your head.

  "don't trip," he says as soon as you regain your footing, grinning with your hair falling over your face, and you're about to ask what he means when in a heartbeat, you plunge into a dip.

  the position is so fragile, like both of you could fall with one finger. one hand on his shoulder and the other clasped in his palm, and the world snaps into clear focus as you stare into his eyes. his eyebrows are furrowed as if concentrating on something; you can feel your heart pounding in your chest.

  and then he smiles, features just as sharp and cold as ever, and you think for the thousandth time, he always looks so angry. but, then -- with his teeth gleaming, one of them sharp as a fang, and his hair hanging over his eyes -- just then, it doesn't feel like the emotion gleaming in his eyes is anger. or even anything less than joy.

  the hand clutching yours feels too warm for that.

  it's odd enough that venti isn't wildly parading around in the midst of everyone else to show off his outfit, even moreso that he's not dancing at all. you've been looking for him for a while now, but when you finally find him standing against the wall, playing his violin with the rest of the orchestra, you're so surprised your jaw drops."haha, what?" he asks, still playing as he focuses in on you. "is it really that shocking?"

  "i-i mean, i didn't know that you even played the violin," you sputter. "i thought you played the lyre? that old harp thing?"

  "i used to take lessons when i was younger." venti shrugs with a smile, finally setting the violin down with a nod to the other orchestra members. "i wanted to join in, since i had no one to dance with... " he sighs, batting his eyelashes as he looks at you.

  you roll your eyes, but laugh, turning and stepping towards the other people dancing. "okay, okay. i got it." he follows eagerly, flitting beside you like a bird; his footsteps are always light, gentle and soft as though he's being carried on a breeze. he's not the dancer that kuni is -- not even close -- but he has his own charm, all the same.

  "so, how are you feeling about an entire party, just for you?" you ask, settling into a spot away from the thicker parts of the crowd. "well, not you specifically, but still. this is pretty impressive, even for 6REEZE. you've just been climbing higher and higher, lately."

  "i like to believe it's just for me," he says, winking, and tucks his arms onto your shoulders. you blink at the sudden contact, goosebumps running up your arms, but -- it's just venti. that's just how he is. always attached to someone; clinging to heizou's elbow as they walk together or leaning on aether's shoulder during a moment of rest. you shouldn't be as surprised as you are.

  venti's warm green eyes watch you closely as you relax, following the simple pattern of the music. he's one of the taller members of the group, and it's easier to keep up with him, even though he still has far more grace than you. you tentatively put your hands on his waist, and his eyes crinkle as he smiles.

  there's silence for a while, both of you comfortably quiet. xiao shuffles past you two, clutching a plate of cheesecake. venti waves hello and gets an blank, icy stare back. you smile, casting your gaze up towards the ceiling.

  "about 6REEZE, i think you're right, though," he says unexpectedly.

  you look down again. "hm?"

  "we're getting really popular, really quick." he laces his hands behind your head, turning slowly in a circle. "did i tell you, i heard aether's solo viator playing at the supermarket earlier? i actually like that we're becoming mainstream!"

  "i mean, it was only a matter of time. you guys are all... " you blow out a breath, and your hair drifts upwards slightly. his gaze tracks the movement of each strand before it falls back into place, and you examine his hair more closely in turn as he tilts his head up.

  it's a party, so he's not wearing his signature braids today, hair falling around his face so that he has to shake his head to get it out of his eyes. even so, the luminescence of the glowing blue strands remains, so that it seems even brighter in the dim light. you press a lock of it behind his ear, and your breath catches in your throat as he locks eyes with you.

  it's something you've done a million times before interviews or photoshoots, fixing his hair or smoothing a wrinkle in his clothes, but with the two of you barely inches apart, your fingers only separated from his stomach by a piece of sheer fabric, it feels almost painfully intimate. your fingertips brush over his neck as you pull your hand back, and his lips part slightly without noise as though there's a word that caught on his tongue as it was leaving his mouth.

  then the moment passes, and you clear your throat. "s-so, you heard aether's solo, right? that one was unexpectedly popular. i'm really happy for him. xiao's just released, so i think... oh!" you nod. "yours is next! it'll be called carmen dei, and i think barbara is going to compose for it. you know her, right?"

  "yeah," he says, hesitating. "wait... so, she'll be the one writing the music?"

you nod. "why, is that a problem?"

  "um, well, not a problem, but i was hoping to maybe -- like, do the music myself?" his eyes go to the side, and you can feel him tense up, the draw of his shoulders and torso tightening. "so it's my solo, not SHOGUNATE's, you know? when i'm done with this whole idol thing, i don't want my reputation to be all about me not singing my own songs."

  you've heard out his complaints about the way SHOGUNATE ENTERTAINMENT micromanages every aspect of his idol persona a million times, but this is the first time that he sounds actually serious about it. you nod slowly. "i get that, but... lyre and violin music isn't exactly... "

  "marketable?" venti says wryly. "yeah," you sigh. sometimes you're surprised by how down-to-earth he can be, considering how he normally is. he waves his hand before brightening. "hey, wait! i play the guitar, too! that's definitely marketable. everyone loves a cool guy with a guitar."

  you're surprised for a moment, then not at all; of course, he would play three different instruments. only venti. "yeah, we could work with that. so, you can sing, dance, and play the violin, lyre, and the guitar? is there anything you can't do?" you question teasingly.

  he leans in closer, and you can see every shade of green in the depths of his eyes. you're suddenly hyper-aware of how close you are to each other. "yeah, here's something. i can't stop myself from falling for you," venti quips, the smirk on his face huge and pronounced.

  "oh," it escapes your mouth more of a sound than a word. you stare at him, your own eyes as wide as plates. he holds it for a few seconds, then bursts into laughter that seems to billow to life on the wind, filling up the room. you see other people turning to look at who's making so much noise as heat rises to your face, ducking away so that they don't connect you with him.

  "why are you like this?" you groan, pressing your hand to your forehead to shield your face, and his expression settles into a fond, affectionate smile, resting his chin on your shoulder. "come on, [name]. you know you love me."

  "... yeah," you say, and fold your fingers through his, swaying slowly with an exasperated, yet fond expression. "i do."

  you can't see his face; you couldn't possibly know what he was feeling, not with his heart hidden away from you behind every joke made specifically to trick you that it's exactly that. just a joke. but with his eyes closed -- all long eyelashes and softened brow -- and his lips pressed together, head on your shoulder, he can almost pretend that 'love' of yours was the kind he's dreamed of for so long.

  "you know you love me," he repeats in a whisper, so quietly he's barely making any noise, and you're so focused on the music that you can't hear, and maybe that's for the better. "so is it really my fault that i love you?"

  kazuha has never been one for events like this, preferring the simpler solitude of working alone in his room or with only a few other people. though he's at least slightly more social than xiao, he tends to skip out when it becomes a larger gathering. it's especially annoying if everyone else is doing something that he has little interest in. he always ends up feeling painfully awkward and leaving early.

  which means this situation, in which he's standing stiffly in the corner and white-knuckling a glass of sparkling apple juice, is his absolute worst nightmare.

  he's been trying to get himself to join the other boys and you, spread out through the room, for a while now. venti is telling some story that has aether in hysterics. the corner of kazuha's lips turn up as he sees your expression, looking very confused but still laughing, a look that he’s seen on you a million times. being around you always feels so comfortable, like coming home after a long time away; though he doesn’t know if you feel the same, he always wants to be with you.

  he catches himself a moment after thinking that. it’s not – not like that. he only means it because you’ve been friends for years. of course, he would prefer to be with someone who’s so close to him. it’s a simple, understandable thought. the way he feels about you is strictly friendly. still… even though it is – it is – he could never voice it aloud. no need to think about why, he thinks, idly swirling his juice. 

  oh – speak of the devil, he thinks surprisedly, then with a smile, as your gaze alights upon him. you grin, giving a quick goodbye to venti and then making your way over to his side. as you approach, his posture relaxes, grip on the glass loosening. 

  “hey, kazu,” you say, leaning on the wall beside him. his stomach flutters at the nickname, simply nodding back as he doesn’t trust himself not to get tongue-tied. 

  you sigh, seeming tired as you glance over at him. “how’s it going? ah, you know, you're old enough to drink.” you gesture at his glass. "can i get you something else, maybe? i know i need something stronger than apple juice to get myself through this."

  his heart leaps at your words – thank god that he’s not the only one who doesn’t want to be here – and he smiles sheepishly. "ah, i probably shouldn’t. i’m something of a lightweight, i wouldn’t want to embarrass myself in front of all these people. are you also feeling out of place?” 

  “yeah, i’m not really sure what i’m supposed to be doing. i’ve slow danced, but this feels different. i don’t have anyone to do it with, either.” you click your tongue, disappointed. “and i got all dressed up, too.” 

  kazuha does a double take; with the room steadily darkening as the sky outside turns to a velvety black, he hadn’t taken in your outfit, assuming you were simply wearing another tuxedo. but no, now he sees every inch of it. silky silver fabric the color of fog, shimmering like water as you shift your weight, and spiraling threads of midnight blue embroidery on the hem and sleeves. the fabric swirls around your hips and shoulders, with a ribbon pulling it in at your waist, and you look…

  heart-achingly beautiful. but that’s no different from usual. sometimes he think he could drown in it.

  he’s vaguely aware that he’s probably losing the last shreds of his dignity with every second that he’s unable to muster a response, and he forces himself to lift his eyes back to your face. you’re smiling slightly. 

  he swallows, aware of the burning color on his face. “you look nice.” you do a little twirl, clapping your hands and laughing, and he almost loses it again.

  “would you, uh… would you want to dance?” you ask, pointing over your shoulder. there’s a faint blush on your face. his heart speeds up, keeping his even expression with some difficulty. “we can’t leave, at least not for a bit – it would be ridiculous for us both to leave from 6REEZE’s own party, but…”

  he blinks. “you want to dance? you mean, together?”

  “of course!” you beam, taking his glass of cider and and clasping his hand. “don’t forget, i’ve known you for a long time! you know how to do it – your cousin does ballroom dancing, doesn’t she?”

  “yes, that’s right,” he nods, unable to muster a better response. the feeling of your palm against his is distracting. “i’m not as good at it, though. i can try… ”

  “that’s okay.” you tug him away from the wall, placing the glass on a nearby table, and put your hand on his hip. he shivers at the contact, fingers threading through yours, and hesitantly matches your stance. “you don’t need to be nervous,” you hum, guiding his arm around your waist. your voice is quiet – words blooming like smoke off your tongue, and he’s the only one who can hear them. “you’re the one who knows how to do this, so just take it slow.”

  “all right,” kazuha agrees, following the music as it picks up and stepping back and forth. you note, as soon as he starts feeling more comfortable, that he moves as smoothly as a professional. he’s elegant, that’s the only word for it. as graceful as a leaf in the wind. you twirl around him, catching and releasing hands, with a smile as your fingertips meet again.

  someone in the room has started singing, another musician with the orchestra, maybe. the words are too quiet for you to make out, but kazuha’s head starts to move gently with the high and low notes, chin bobbing as he spins away from you. he’s wearing earrings, you realize, long dangling silver things that twinkle with every movement. it’s a wonder they haven’t gotten tangled in his hair yet.

  the singer grows louder, her voice silky and warm, and you stretch up to your tallest stance, twirling around him in a burst of misty cloth, faster and faster but never losing your balance, and at the longest note where you can practically feel the singer’s chest aching, he catches you into his arms. your back to his front. you can feel his chest rise and fall with each breath.

  he releases you as soon as he seems to realize, and you step back. there’s a second of silence where neither of you knows what to say, and then you shake your head, regaining your bearings. he ducks his chin, pinching the back of his hand as though he’s in a dream. 

  “i know you don’t like it, so thanks for being willing to dance with me,” you say cheerfully, tilting your head. he nods, blinking rapidly like someone who spent too long looking at the sun. his ponytail has come undone at some point, platinum locks spilling around his ears. honestly, dancing, and dancing with you are two different things, but… 

  he stammers, nervously, and it breaks your heart a little but makes you grin, too, “thank you to you, too. it’s not – it was really nice, so – ”

  in a heartbeat, you lean in and kiss him on the cheek; he stops midsentence, and it’s like fireworks are exploding in his head, temporarily blinded. your hair tickles his skin. you smell like expensive shampoo. such a tiny contact, and yet it feels as though his heart will belong to you forever after this.

  you pull back, and kazuha’s face is bright red; from where your lips met his skin, it feels like flames are spreading across his face, heat bursting, prickling at him just under the surface. you look embarrassed too, opening your mouth and closing it like you weren’t planning on doing that. but god is he glad that you did.

  for the first time, his fingers tangled in soft fabric and your hand in his, it feels like maybe he can admit how he feels. like maybe, he has a chance.

  as always, heizou is the center of attention; he’s danced with at least three people since the party started. you’ve seen him clumsily switch between partners, waving goodbye to one person and flitting off to be with someone else. to his credit, he seems to do it smoothly enough, but it’s still hard not to laugh seeing him pop up in front of yet another potential partner with a flirty smile.

  maybe you shouldn’t have laughed, it seems to have baited him over. and now, your time has come. 

  “please, please, please,” he begs, clasping your hands and opening his eyes as wide as he can to make them sparkle. it’s a move that you’ve seen him use on countless fans but that doesn’t quite work on you anymore. you tilt your head down, looking at him blankly. “please what?”

  “dance with me, of course! i have no one else to go with, so help!” he pops the ending of his words on the tip of his tongue, like a bubble. you blink slowly. “there’s like, a hundred people in here that would happily accept if you asked, you know.”

  “yeah, yeah,” he waves his hand. “but that’s the problem! until now i’ve just been warming up. i don’t want to ask just anyone, i’m saving it for someone special. soo… what do you say?” 

  “what.”

  he’s practically on his knees, headband falling out of his hair. you poke it back in and he barely seems to notice. “please. i’ll give you free merch. i’ll let you cameo in one of our music videos. i’ll credit you in my solo for inspiration – ”

  “okay first off, you don’t have that power, second, i do and i don’t even want it.” you press your lips together. “but… fine. if it’ll make you stop asking.” 

  he looks so happy, apples of his cheeks pink as he pumps his fist and pulls you towards him, that in that moment you can’t even be exasperated. you’re mostly invincible to his charms – you have to be, while dealing with his ridiculous requests and flights of fancy – but every now and then you remember why he’s so incredibly popular. those shining eyes and hair the color of expensive wine; and of course, he spends an exorbitant amount on expensive skincare products. ah, the life of an idol whose job is to be pretty…

  “i’ll lead,” he says, easily settling into the stance. you nod. your hand curls over his shoulder, the other going to his waist, and you don’t realize until he turns a faint shade of pink that your fingers are on his bare skin. 

  “oh – i’m s-sorry,” you stammer, pulling your hand back like you’ve touched fire, and now your face is burning as you scan his outfit and see that his high-collared shirt, for whatever reason, is open on the sides. you hadn’t noticed because the hem is tucked neatly into his slacks. “i can just hold your arm instead – ”

  heizou clears his throat. “it’s fine, if you’re okay with it, you can just… yeah,” he trails off as you place your hand back where it was. 

  “okay,” you mumble, swallowing thickly, fingertips brushing over his side. you can feel how warm his skin is, the muscles of his stomach; it feels improper almost, and you prepare yourself for heizou making a million comments about it, as is typical behavior from him.

  but as he starts to move, stepping carefully in a circle, being careful to avoid his shoes catching in the fabric billowing around your legs, you see he’s looking everywhere but at you. his face is still shaded pink. you marvel at seeing him flustered. it’s… cute. 

  as soon as you think it, you shake your head at yourself, focusing on the dance. just the dance. you only agreed to get him to stop begging.

  a few minutes go by as you get your bearings, tentatively following his movements. you pride yourself on being easy to imbalance (in many ways), but heizou is a bad dancer. it’s a wonder that the people he was with earlier were willing to put up with it. there’s something almost lovable about it – the way he stumbles every now and then as his shoes slide across the slick floor, long fingernails skidding over your wrist as he loses his grip. you can’t help but smile.

  “people are looking,” he says, whispering it into your ear as you bend backwards into a dip. you can practically feel him straining to hold you up with one arm in a lazy grip around your back. despite yourself – despite how little you know about dancing, how little he seems to know about dancing – you’re having fun, and you can’t bring yourself to care, laughing as you say, “let them look!” 

  he looks shocked. you understand, of course; normally, you’re not the kind of person who revels in attention from others, not the way that he is. but you’ve been the manager of 6REEZE for so long now that you’re starting to get used to it, and this isn’t something you would do normally, either. but for now you can delight in it instead of spending too much time thinking.

  funny how he of all people is having that effect on you.

  a flute player starts up in the orchestra, the other instruments softening to let the fast-paced, sweet music drift through the crowd. it settles like a fine, light mist over the dancing couples. against your better judgment, you speed up your movements, pirouetting between two others and letting go of him for a moment – you see his eyes widen as you vanish, only to reappear a second later and grab his shoulder again, pulling you back together. today is a day for surprises.

  he’s wheezing with what might be amusement or exhaustion, and you can’t help but join in, and you stare into his eyes and they sparkle like precious gems. those peridot-colored eyes. for just a second, you can study every bit of his face. he’s almost unfairly gorgeous.it takes a tiny internal struggle to pull yourself away as his laughter turns to confusion, and you pretend as though nothing has happened when you return to the dance. 

  he knows, though; he saw the feeling in your gaze. you know he knows. and the space between you has narrowed.

  “have you ever heard that a mole under your eye means you’re going to have bad luck in love?” you ask, tightening your grip as he spins clumsily. “you have two of them, so doesn’t that mean you’d have double the bad luck?”

  heizou blinks, side-stepping another couple. “hmm, maybe, but it’s fine with me. i’ve heard people say it makes me look more mature, so i can put up with something like that. especially since i’m able to naturally counter it with my good looks, y’know?” 

  “you’re so shallow,” you say, eyes glimmering. if it was anyone else, you’d feel bad talking to them in such a way, but heizou always provokes you to this kind of immature banter. it feels natural, real in a way that not much in the idol world is. real the same way your arms around his shoulders are. “imagine if you acted like this without being the main visual. you’re lucky you’re pretty.”

  his mouth opens into a perfect O for a second – your heart catches in your throat – and then softens into the same playful smile as always. “if all i’ve got going for me is my looks, then i’d happily use them to charm you!” he hums. “no matter how long it takes. i won’t give up.”

  and all you can do is laugh. how could you say that he’s already succeeded? 

  maybe it’s unfair, but you’re not expecting to see aether with anyone as you approach him, much less a pretty blond girl with a expensive-looking flower clip in her hair. not because he’s shy, exactly – more cautious. he doesn’t have as many admirers as the other boys and it’s no secret (at least to you) that it makes him… well, hesitant.

  but he’s smiling, and something clenches in your stomach; not jealousy, maybe confusion. his happiness always makes you feel the tiniest bit bitter, because it makes you wonder how anyone could see him like that and not fall in love with his smile. 

  “hey aether,” you say, tapping his shoulder and smiling at the blond girl. “nice to meet you, i’m 6REEZE’s manager, [name].”

  “ohh, you’re [name],” the girl says, tapping her chin and smiling slightly. she glances at aether. “nice to meet you. aether’s said a lot about you, you know – ”

  “okay, thanks for that,” aether cuts her off, speaking through gritted teeth. he turns to you. “this is lumine, my twin sister. she’s a member of 4BYSS.” 

  your eyes pop. “your sister is in 4BYSS?” 

  he starts to laugh and lumine rubs the back of her neck sheepishly. 4BYSS is a very popular girl group under MRX Entertainment consisting of four members who always wear masks during their videos. when 6REEZE was first marketed they were considered as their ‘male counterpart’ until it was made public knowledge that they had been put together by SHOGUNATE – to know that aether’s twin is also a famous idol is just…

  “wow. so the idol talent runs in the family?” you say, shaking your head disbelievingly. “i can’t believe i never knew this! aether, you should have introduced us sooner.”

  “sorry. i try to keep my family and my friends separate, since my sister likes to tease.” he glares at her. she giggles, covering her mouth, and flicks her hand. “whatever, it’s not like i’m doing anything wrong or lying. after all, aether has quite a few stories about – ”

  “okay,” aether interrupts for the second time. your lips tug up as lumine frowns. “i think you should go get something to eat, lumine. you seem… out of it.”

  “fine,” she huffs, and then her eyes light up. “oh! since i’m going, why don’t you two dance together? otherwise, you’ll have only danced with me this whole time and that’s just sad. plus – well, you know. be brave, little brother.” she pats you on the shoulder, squeezing just a bit as she winks at you, then flutters away towards the food. 

  aether pinches the bridge of his nose as you turn to him, amused. “that’s… wrong. she’s three minutes younger than me.” 

  “what a cutie,” you say with furrowed eyebrows, before you cross one arm over your chest, tucking it under the other nervously. “um, so what she said about dancing, do you wanna?”

  his eyes light up and he beams, and you blink when he nods excitedly instead of hesitating with “yeah, sure!” but then again, you shouldn’t be surprised; aether is the kind of person who always agrees to things. you, really, really hope he’s not just trying to make you happy. 

  you place your arms over his shoulders. his silken gold hair is in a high ponytail that curls over his back, messy bangs out of his face, and he’s wearing bracelets. light, silver things – herringbone, you think absently, smooth and delicate – that make soft jingling noises as his wrist moves, taking your hand.

  the music picks up, and you’re off; a light but firm grip on your hip, fingers ready to let go of you at any time. it’s almost a surprise how good he is at it– but not quite, because it’s still him, and he is nothing if not a hard worker. he’s not good at things by chance. and yes, you can feel the undercurrent of supporting strength in his muscles as you step, hand clasped in his high in the air.

  he is steady. as always.

  you sweep your arm to avoid bumping into a giggling, pale-haired boy in an top hat as he spins in a circle. aether looks after him with a grin, still keeping up with you even as his gaze drifts. “it’s kind of nice to see you like this,” you say without thinking. 

  he raises an eyebrow, attention shifting back. you feel heat creeping up your neck. “what do you mean?”

  “i-i don’t know. relaxed? cheerful?” even you know how it sounds, saying that aether, the friendliest and most positive member, is not normally cheerful. there’s really no way to articulate what you mean – that you know his usual optimistic demeanor is a facade? that you can tell he’s exhausted? no, that’s not something you can say aloud. you half-shrug, twirling away. “you just seem… happier lately. less stressed?”

  he nods. “yeah, since my solo came out, um… ” he trails off, looking embarrassed, his nose dusted pink. his blush always starts there. it’s taken you a long time to figure that out, since he almost never gets flustered. you incline your head slightly for him to continue. “i mean… it ended up being really popular! a lot of people know me now. and that’s… it’s cool, right?” 

  your heart melts a little. “of course! i know how hard you worked for that,” you hum, fingertips grazing over his back as you shift your position. he turns on one leg, sweeping the other out behind him to maintain his balance. he’s gliding more than moving, without stumbling a single time. the music bleeds into your ears, and he’s humming. the lights drift over his face. his gaze seems far away, swinging your arm out and stepping back and forth. you try not to smile.

  one of his bracelets catches the light, as though a spotlight has alighted onto aether’s wrist; he pivots on his heel, leaning back so you can lean forward. his shoes tapping on the floor. you tilt just a bit too far, bumping into him – and you’re flooded with the scent of orange blossoms and cinnamon. you’re not sure if it’s body wash or if he just smells like that. you wouldn’t be surprised.

  he turns you around by the hand, fingers curling over yours, and says suddenly, “thank you.”

  you blink as you face him again. for a second you think you imagined it, because his eyes aren’t on you. “for what?”

  “believing in me,” he says, tightening his grip on your waist – color bursts over your cheeks and you open your mouth – and then you’re whirling through the air as he spins in a circle. you laugh out of disbelief; with anyone else you might be afraid to move, worried he’d drop you, but… it’s aether. you don’t think he’s even capable of that. 

  time seems to slow down, the moment stretching into an eternity. you can see head and shoulders above everyone else, but the only thing you’re looking at is him; and his smile, his eyes are as bright as the sun. 

  you expected xiao to leave within the first hour – hell, the first ten minutes – of the party, but he lasted over two hours before finally slipping out. you’re a bit proud; even as an idol, he doesn’t have much experience with these kind of events, only speaking when he has to and going silent entirely when he’s too tired not to. you understand it, of course. he’s supporting the whole group. 

  you give a quick excuse to kazuha and head towards the door that xiao took. as soon as you step through the doorframe, you’re hit with a blast of cool air, a welcome difference from the stuffy atmosphere inside the main room. the hallway is empty. 

  “xiao?” you call. “are you here?” 

  there’s no response, but your gaze catches on the one door that’s slightly ajar. you approach it, peering inside, and find him sitting on the room’s windowsill, staring out over the city. you clear your throat and he turns his head; even at night, the golden lights shining from both skyscrapers and houses is almost blinding, and he’s bathed in it. the sharp lines of his face seem softer.

  “hi,” you say. he seems to be registering your presence, and returns, “hey,” tilting his chin up. “why are you here?” 

  you frown, lined with a teasing edge, at the same moment he realizes it sounded rude, and you see his brow furrow. “sorry. that came out wrong. i just meant… ”

  “i know what you meant,” you answer, the corner of your mouth lifting up. “i was looking for you. i thought – maybe you would want some company?” 

  his eyes spark with something that could maybe be happiness, maybe anticipation. “yeah. that would be nice.” it comes out like a mumble, as do most of his comments; and maybe you’re just hoping for it, but it sounds like there’s a bit of genuine gratitude in there.

  you sit down on the windowsill beside him, admiring the view of the city. if it were a truly perfect evening, it might start raining, lending an air of peacefulness to the scene, but nothing in real life is that perfect. for now, it’s nice just to sit with him like this.

   “so, why’d you dip?” it’s easy to guess the answer: that he simply got tired of pleasantries. you’re surprised when his face screws up, propping his chin up with his hand. “i’m not a good dancer.”

  “yeah you are!” you protest. “what are you talking about?”

  “not at slow dancing.” xiao glares at nothing in particular. “i don’t have any practice. i’ve never done it.”

  you can’t help but smile a bit, turning to face the window. you speak a bit haltingly, pressing your palm to the glass. it’s smooth, cold. raindrops fall between your fingers. heat runs to your face as you talk. “i’m sure you could pick it up. do… do you want to practice?” 

  he doesn’t answer for a long moment, and you glance at him out of the corner of your eye, stomach churning. his lips are pressed together, a tiny flush lighting up his pale face, and he finally says, “okay. if you want to.”

  you slide to your feet, fumbling with your phone for a second and landing on a playlist of classical music. you press the play button and drop it on a table before turning to xiao, who looks slightly lost. soft music starts to leak into your ears, and you press a bit closer to him, searching for his frame in the dark. when you place one hand into his, laying the other tentatively on his hip, he stiffens for barely a fraction of a second, then relaxes.

  “sorry,” he mutters. “i don’t know where to put my hands.”

  “here,” you whisper, guiding his tense fingers to your waist. there’s something a bit too clumsy, a bit too endearing about the gesture for it to be embarrassing. “and just keep the other one where it is. and then… step, one, two, move your arm… ”

  he’s a quick learner, naturally. he wouldn’t be such an amazing group center if he wasn’t. you were expecting it. but still, it barely takes him a few beats to pick up the measure. dancing in this empty place is so different from the other room you were in before. there’s a million less things to focus on and at the same time, a million more. every bit of him a tiny miracle. 

  it’s not quite dark, not with the shining glow of the city’s skyline outside, but you can only slightly make out the general shape of xiao’s features. soft cheekbones, full lips and dark hair. he’s still got a hint of sternness in his expression, but his eyes shine slightly; yellowish, with pupils like a cat’s. 

  connected in the slow rhythm, swaying with your arms around him, you can hardly breathe. or maybe it’s that you don’t want to breathe, not quite – you don’t want to disturb the moment. it feels like you’re moving through molasses, slow and sweet and wonderful. his grip relaxes as you go, his steps and sweeps of his arm become smoother, until he’s moving just as evenly and fluidly as you. neither of you speaks.

  there’s a plunking sound, like someone’s dropping pebbles into a puddle of water. you look out the window. it’s raining, the lights starting to go dark as the raindrops running down the glass distort the city’s horizon; xiao barely seems to notice, though you catch a hint of a gentler look on his face in the last bit of gleaming gold before the rain obscures it entirely. 

  the shadow cast by the drops on the glass forms itself on the wall behind you, scattering over your face. it’s slightly blue, mostly black, almost silver in places. just like a movie. “it’s perfect,” you whisper to yourself, and xiao doesn’t give any sign that he’s heard, though he moves just a bit faster as if something is spurring him on.

  you shift your weight slightly, rest your head on his collarbone. the room is quiet, and if you strain, there’s the orchestra music from the main room, layered under the gentle piano pouring from your phone and curling through the air like smoke. you can hear – can feel – his heart beating. even with everything else, at least for this moment, that could be your favorite song.

© lumiconic ; please reblog and follow if enjoyed