#it's been like 4 months since i've made gifs so these are a little rough

[elialys]

Channeling positive energy for 2024

I have been very listless for at least the last couple of years (if not since 2020 and the whole pandemic mess), resulting in a pretty rough depressive episode that peaked this last November. It's hard to feel motivated to do anything concrete to improve your own life when everything around you is just...bleak. And this world does suck so much, so often, in so many ways.

But then I remember how I innately believe that most people are good, and that I am good, too, and that the one thing that always makes me feel better when I'm low is to do something helpful for someone, or to just be kind if I don't have the spoons for more.

(Putting this big ramble under read more)

I think I've mentioned it here before but I've made the decision to try and get into a new field of work, which involves at least two if not three years of studying. Let me tell you, I'm about to turn 36 in a couple of weeks. It's scary as fuck to do something like this. But this job, if I get into the school I need to get into, will be perfect for me. I'll be helping people who need guidance and compassion basically every day.

The bond I got to build with my students was my absolutely favorite part of teaching, but I got overwhelmed by everything else. I burned myself out in less than four years because I became a workaholic who worked 70 hours a week, never took a breath, tried tried tried, yet never felt like I was doing enough. The pressure was incredible, the 'I have to be around hundreds of people every single day', performing in front of entire classrooms full of kids 6h a day'...it just wore me down. Loved my kiddos to death, loved my science team so much, but then the pandemic hit and I lost a few family members within a few months, and I realized it was time for me to go home after 12 years abroad.

The meanest part of my brain likes to tell me I've spent the last four years being basically a useless human blob, but realistically, I know I wasn't. I had been working my ass off since 2011, when I was in America nannying two young kids all day long then going to school full time at night/weekends, before being hired as a teacher in England for 4 years.

I needed the break, I needed time with my loved ones. I needed to help grieving family members, especially my little sister with ASD, who had to learn to navigate life without her mom, who also developed epilepsy on top of everything else while our father pretended nothing was happening. I needed to spend time with my grandmother, who did so much for me when I was young and who's all alone, now. I'll even go as far as saying I've been working on fixing things with my mother this past year living with her, which was not an easy thing. Still isn't, but it's so much better than it used to be, and she's trying, too.

But I'm ready to get my life "back on track", or at least, to get busier , more proactive, more helpful to others who aren't in my inner circle, because I know that's what I'm good at, and why I'm here.

So, yeah, channeling positive thoughts for 2024. I'm not only going to work on getting into that school in the next few weeks, I also just received an email a couple days ago from an editor I used to work with. She's a writing director somewhere else now, and they need writers for a new webcomic project; she told me she immediately thought of me because they'd always been happy with my work, so I'm going to test for that, too, because why the hell not. Actually getting paid for the stuff I was writing a couple of years ago was the most surreal, rewarding experience of my writer life, and I wouldn't mind that happening again.

I want to give the biggest shoutout to my best friend & other butt cheek, @melusine0811, for helping me navigate those last four years, for always believing in me, and for being so fucking courageous when life is just so damn hard. Lauren, you're the bravest person I know, and forever my Donna Noble.

And because I'm sappy this weekend, awards and all, I'm also sending my thanks to my Australian unicorn, just for existing somewhere out there, for being a role model to me from afar these last thirteen years, for being another perfect example of people persevering no matter what, doing the things they love, while always trying to be kind to others in the process. I don't believe in much, but I believe in karma. You do good deeds, good things will happen to you.

Be kind to each other, my lovelies. Always be kind.

[tedbecca]

KEVIN CAN F**K HIMSELF | 2.03 Ghost

[wlwmarvelenthusiast]

Turn Your Luck

Summary: After a day filled with bad luck and a series of unfortunate events, Natasha manages to turn your day around

Pairing: Reader x Natasha Romanoff

Warnings: None

Words: 6,167

When you woke up in the morning and smacked your big toe off your bed frame, you didn't even think twice of it. It sent a jolt all throughout your foot, but after a few swear words, you were already feeling a little better. You didn't bother making the bed you'd just stood up out of. All your life you'd reasoned that it wouldn't be 24 hours before you just messed it up again. You grabbed a towel and moved into the bathroom. The hot shower made you forget all about the sore toe you'd been sporting only a moment earlier.

You were feeling great when you stepped out of the shower. The warm water had always instilled comfort into your very bones even this early in the morning. You wiped some of the condensation off the mirror to brush your teeth. The tube of toothpaste was completely empty, and the drawer where you usually kept the new ones was also barren. You rolled your eyes at your own irresponsibility, before brushing your teeth without any toothpaste and then using some mouthwash to try and compensate for it. You stepped out of the bathroom.

You got dressed in your favourite white shirt and black pants before making your way into the kitchen. You tossed your phone onto the counter as you passed it on the way to the small kitchen table. You were after the fruit bowl, which was already needing a refill. There were still a few apples left, though, and you were expecting to have one for breakfast. You were mistaken. You pulled the empire apple out of the blue bowl to find the bottom had grown immensely soft and was clearly not in any condition to be eaten. You were disappointed but tossed it into the compost bin and moved on.

Humming a soft tune as you moved, you popped a pod into the single-serve coffee maker and pressed start. You were moving toward the fridge in no time when a strange noise caught your attention. You whirled to face the coffee maker. Instead of the steady stream of coffee you usually got, it was spraying the hot liquid like it was a shaken pop can. You jumped behind the small island, using it as a shield. Thankfully, you'd managed to keep your white shirt safe from the wrath of the coffee. When it stopped, you finally dared step back into the kitchen. The dark liquid was dripping down every nearby surface. You huffed, running some paper towel across the biggest surfaces quickly.

You gave up on the coffee. It seemed you weren't going to get it anyway. You glared at the machine as if it had intentionally smitten you. Instead, you reached into the fridge instead and poured a glass of orange juice for yourself. You sipped it before setting it back onto the countertop. When your phone buzzed and indicated an incoming message, you reached for it. Your elbow hit your glass and it fell onto its side. The orange liquid spilled off the counter and into your white shirt. You gave the mess the middle finger, tossing a dishtowel on it to soak it up, with the intention of actually cleaning it after work. You already had to clean the coffee up anyway.

Any attempt at breakfast was abandoned. After the three kitchen incidents combined, you were convinced you'd be better off heading to some drive-thru on the way to work. Now in a new blue shirt, you grabbed your bag and headed out your front door. You unlocked your car, slid into the driver's seat, and hit the ignition. The car sputtered for a few seconds, before refusing to start. You tried again, and then again, before groaning, taking out your frustration on the steering wheel in front of you. You stood up and stepped back out of the vehicle, slamming the door behind you with much more force than necessary.

Then, it was off to the bus stop. You headed down the sidewalk to the nearest one, pulling out your phone as you walked so you could check your app to find out when the next bus was coming. When you saw big red letters informing you that the bus was halted until further notice, though, you had to refrain from throwing your phone hard into the concrete. You supposed you should have had a little sympathy for those in the accident that had halted your bus, but you couldn't find it in yourself right then. Your morning was not going well.

It was a good thing you hadn't smashed your phone against the sidewalk. It was the only thing you could use to get you to work now. You switched apps and ordered an Uber to come to pick you up. When the driver arrived, you climbed into the back seat and gave him the address of your place of work. He nodded and pressed his foot down on the gas. Your eyes had been glued on your phone, but your gaze flickered at the driver's movement. He was adjusting the mirror and you were absolutely sure he'd angled it to face you a little better. You could have puked when you realized the creep was checking you out. You didn't say anything, at this point just wanting to get to work and be done with it.

You practically sprinted into the building when you arrived. Security didn't seem to mind your rush, having seen your face every day for over three years anyway. You hopped up the stairs two at a time, faster than the elevator would have been able to carry you anyway. When you reached the meeting room door you took a few seconds to catch your breath, not wanting to seem too flustered in your professional environment. When you finally pushed the door open, everyone was rising to their feet. Their eyes all darted up to glance at you. You smiled sheepishly.

"You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry." That was honest. You might have been frustrated, but you hadn't wanted to inconvenience any of your coworkers as well. "I've really had a rough morning."

Your boss nodded. "We've all had those days. I'll send you an email and give you a summary."

You thanked him and left the meeting room with everyone else. You trudged into your office, throwing your bag to the floor, and refraining from slamming the door behind you. You collapsed into your office chair and closed your eyes for a brief moment. But you didn't have time for that. The paperwork on your desk needed your attention. You gave it. The hours you spent on all the files, emails, and documents were the smoothest thing that had happened all day, even if it was mind-numbingly boring and felt absolutely endless. It might have been smooth sailing, but it didn't brighten your spirits at all.

When your phone rang, you reached out blindly until you felt your hand come in contact with it. You shuffled it until it was upright in your hand. You were so completely absorbed in the document that was displayed on your computer screen that you didn't even bother to look at your phone as you fumbled to slide the answer bar. Only when the incessant ringing had finally ceased did you know you'd successfully answered the call. You hesitated before you slowly raised the phone to your ear, eyes still scanning the lines in front of you.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Hun."

Immediately you regretted not checking the caller ID before answering the phone. You could have kicked yourself. In fact, the move was so ridiculously and incredibly stupid that you could have beaten yourself to a pulp. The voice on the other end of the line was familiar, completely unwelcome, and not a surprise after having the day that you were having. You turned away from the screen, resting your elbow on the desk and massaging the migraine that was beginning to form in your forehead. You sighed heavily, sure she heard it.

"Hi," you stated. "What?"

"Hun-"

"Please stop calling me that, I already asked you."

You had asked her that. Multiple times. You'd broken up months ago after she'd broken your heart. Catching her in bed with someone else had left you shattered and unsure if you could trust anyone. You'd been okay for a couple months now after some comfort and reassurance from your best friend, who you were having dinner with tonight. You glanced at the time. Your attention was unfortunately brought back to the girl on the phone, though, when she sighed your name as if she were the one who was hurt. She had no right to be hurt.

"I just-"

"I'm working," you finally said bluntly. "Is it urgent?"

"No. No, I'm sorry. I... I can call you tomorrow."

You wanted to snap and tell her not to bother, but you didn't. You just nodded despite her not being able to see it, said goodbye, and hung up. Once more you were faced with the urge to smash the stupid phone. Once more you fought it, instead shoving it into a drawer so you could ignore it and work on the mountains of paperwork you had to get through before your six o'clock reservations. You got back to it. Soon enough, the information was able to push your ex far from your mind. You didn't want to think about her anyway.

It felt like it had been eons since you'd arrived at work, and yet, according to the clock in the corner of your screen, you still had over an hour until your reservation. You might have slammed your head down onto the desk in front of you had two things not stopped you. The first was the migraine that was still throbbing in your head, and the second was the ringing of your office phone. Even though you knew she couldn't call you on here, you checked the caller ID before you picked up this time. It was the front desk.

"Hey, Tamara. What's up?

"There's someone here for you. She said you're going to miss your reservations."

"Reservations? It's only 4:45."

Tamara hesitated. "Daylight savings. It's 5:45."

You had entirely forgotten about that and even if you hadn't, you would have expected the computer would auto-update something like that. But you had forgotten, and the computer hadn't jumped forward, and now you were going to be late, and you still hadn't turned in the file that you'd promised to turn in today. You groaned in frustration, but transferred the file to a flash drive, shoved it into your bag, and left your office. Clearly, everyone else had remembered the time change, as the office was empty.

You cursed all of your coworkers in your head. You made for the elevator. When you stepped on and hit the button to bring you down to the lobby, you actually crossed your fingers. With your luck, all of the cables on the elevator would snap and you'd plummet all the way to the parking garage and die in a fiery explosion. Thankfully, your little gesture of luck seemed to work, for the doors slid open safe and sound in the lobby. As you stepped out, though, your bag hit the door, and the company ID snapped off and slipped in that tiny little crack between the elevator and the floor and out of sight. You cursed loudly.

You didn't dare shine your flashlight down the crack to try and see how far it'd gone; either your phone would have gone down after it out the doors would have slammed shut on either side of your skull. Neither of those things were a chance you were willing to take. You abandoned your ID and continued to the front desk, letting Tamara know what had happened. She nodded in understanding before pointing out your best friend, who had come to collect you after you'd let her know this morning that you'd taken an Uber to work. You approached her and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey," she said brightly.

"Hey, Nat."

Natasha Romanoff was the best thing to happen to you all day. She was your very best friend. Too, maybe you wanted her to be a little more. She was the most beautiful woman you'd ever laid eyes on, the red waves on her head only accentuating her emerald green irises, which sparkled when she smiled at you. That was only her physical beauty. Though she was, to most everyone that knew her, a tough, scary Avenger, you knew it was a façade. Natasha was the kindest, most generous, selfless, and caring person you'd ever had the pleasure of knowing.

"Tamara tells me you forgot about daylight saving time started last night."

"Shut up," you grumbled.

"Irritable because you lost an hour of sleep?"

"Nat," you said, already feeling bad for snapping at her. You rubbed your head. "I'm not having the greatest of days."

That was how your friendship with Nat was. You both understood that not every day was a good day. She tried to convince you not to compare, but you especially understood that. Natasha had been through hell on Earth when she was a child and you wished with every fibre of your heart that you could bear some of that for her. But you couldn't, and you were sure that if you could have, she wouldn't let you. So instead, you understood the bad days, and in turn, she did too. When you stated that today was one of those days, she turned to you with concern sparkling in those beautiful eyes.

"You okay?" She asked.

Your heart fluttered when her hand took yours.

It was a friendly gesture, of course, but you couldn't help but wish it otherwise. You wanted to hold her hand and have it not be just as a friend. You wanted to be able to intertwine your fingers with hers and squeeze her hand tight and feel that constant touch against her. You didn't want it to be friendly, you wanted it to be more. You wanted it to be so much more. You wanted to call her yours and for her to call you hers. But she was just a friend, and it was far better than nothing.

You hadn't always believed that someone could fall in love without some sort of a romantic relationship leading up to it. Now you realized it didn't need to be romantic. You and Natasha were close. You were closer than you'd ever been with anyone before. Because of that relationship, you knew you loved her. You were head over heels in love with her at this point, and you'd realized that a little while ago when you caught yourself fondly admiring her as she drummed her fingers against the table, deep in thought. It was a habit that had once had the ability to drive you up the wall.

"Hello?" She tried again. Her hand squeezed yours.

Your stomach flipped. "Yeah. I'm alright. Just waiting for my bad luck to run out."

"What happened?"

"What didn't happen?" You scoffed. "My fruit is all spoiled, my coffee maker broke, I spilled orange juice on my favourite white shirt, my car won't start, my bus wasn't running this morning, my Uber driver was a creep, I missed my meeting, I almost missed our reservations, I lost my ID badge and... she-who-must-not-be-named called."

Natasha's eyes darkened, her hand gripped yours tighter, and her gaze moved to meet yours. You took a chance and swiped your thumb over the back of her hand to try and get her to ease the tension out of her muscles. It seemed to work, as she relaxed a little. Her shoulders moved back down, the crease in her eyebrow lessened, she loosened her grip on your hand and exhaled carefully. She nodded in thanks, green eyes once against soft and gentle as she searched your eyes. You knew she was looking for any hint of you being upset. You weren't, though. You were with her.

Natasha hated your ex-girlfriend about a hundred times more than you did. She'd begged you to let her sneak over to her house at night and slash her tires and egg her house. You'd given that a firm no, not wanting Nat to get in any sort of trouble. It was Natasha's idea to never speak her name again, and to burn a bunch of photos and clothes that were left behind at your house. She'd gone so far as to have the bench you'd once carved your names into removed from the park and replaced with a brand new one... on Tony's Starks card, of course.

"What did she want?"

"Dunno. I told her I was busy," you actually laughed a little for the first time that day. "It wasn't exactly a lie. I was swamped today."

"Hey, if Fury is overworking you, I'll kick his ass."

Imagining Natasha kicking Nicholas Fury's ass was utterly amusing. You had no doubt she could, but Fury was a force. She'd kick his ass and the next day half of S.H.I.E.L.D. would be at her doorstep to retaliate. But he was a good boss. It wasn't his fault you'd procrastinated your own work for days. That was on you, and you knew it. So, you shook your head no, he wasn't overworking you. She seemed satisfied by that, but the topic of your ex wasn't dropped yet.

"Next time she calls you can direct her straight to me."

"Tasha, you won't answer."

"Damn right I won't."

You laughed again. It brought a smile to her face too.

With that, you continued on down the street without another word of she-who-must-not-be-named. You had almost reached the restaurant where Natasha had left the reservations when you stepped on something that most definitely was not concrete. If Natasha hadn't had your hand, your leg sliding out from underneath you would have left you on your ass. She held tight to your hand, her other arm catching you around the waist. You had to force yourself from blushing red as a tomato.

You glanced down at what you'd stepped in and could have punched someone. The white paint that was being used on the storefront had spilled onto the sidewalk and of course, you'd stepped in it in your new, black shoes. You scraped the bottom of it off on the sidewalk, grumbling all the while. Natasha had let go of your hand when you'd tugged it away from her to wipe the excess paint on the side of your shoe onto the post of the 'no parking' sign next to you. It was still ruined, but at least you'd gotten enough off that you wouldn't stain the restaurant's floor.

"You weren't kidding with the bad luck, huh?"

You shook your head no. You motioned onward, though. She got the hint, and you closed the distance between you and the restaurant. You shifted your bag on your shoulder as you stepped in, hoping they wouldn't notice the wet paint you were tracking onto their floors. If you managed in and out without them seeing, you'd be alright. It was New York City. You were sure people had walked in with worse things on the underside of their shoes.

You watched Natasha closely as she gave her name for the reservation. You hated how the host eyed her even more than you hated how your Uber driver had eyed you this morning. You didn't want anyone to eye her like that. You wanted to be the only one allowed to look at her like that. You knew you weren't, though. You ripped your gaze away from where it had been travelling along her jawline just in time for the host to arrive and lead you to your table. You sat across from her, keeping your eyes down and you collected your thoughts.

"What are you having?"

When you looked up, her eyes were trained on you. Her eyes were your absolute favourite part of her. They always shone so brightly, and so clearly expressed whatever she was feeling. They sparkled like they could see into your very soul and were so deep you could get lost in them for hours. Even the colour was perfect. They were that amazing shade of green that had very quickly become your favourite colour. You often found you'd been staring into them for a little longer than what might be considered normal. Now was one of those times. You looked back down at the menu.

"I'm not sure. Definitely a drink," you hummed. "Though I might get poisoned."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't think your luck is so bad that your assassin will choose to poison you today."

No, because she would protect you from anything. She always had. You might have been a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and perfectly capable of protecting yourself, but she was always stepping in front of you to defend you. You couldn't say you minded. You liked having her at your back. Some people had a physical location where they felt safe. You didn't. Natasha Romanoff was your safe place. When you were with her, you felt like nothing in the world could touch you. She wouldn't let anything hurt you, and you wouldn't let anything hurt her.

Soon enough the waitress was stepping up to your table and taking your order. You gave yours first, opting for a simple fettuccine alfredo. Natasha gave hers, unaware of the way you watched her lips moving as she talked. When the waitress left and she looked back to you, your eyes were cast toward the window, watching a young couple pass by, huddled close together in the cool March evening. When she called for your attention and you gave it immediately, looking over to her. She sipped her wine as you did.

"You said your car wouldn't start?" She said.

"Yeah. It keeps sputtering on and on."

"I'll drive you home and take a look at it tonight. I know a thing or two about cars."

It was a good thing she did, because you knew absolutely nothing about what was going on under the hood of the car. All you could think was that maybe the battery had died on you, but that wasn't possible. If you'd left the lights on, you would have been able to see it through the window in your bedroom the night previous, and you hadn't. There was no other reason the battery could have been drained. You'd driven the car yesterday from your house to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s New York location. You might not have known what the hell was wrong, but Natasha would figure it out in seconds. The thought of her bent over to study the underside of the hood made you shiver.

The image was pushed from your mind when the waitress returned with your food. She placed your pasta down in front of you and you thanked her politely. She set Natasha's down as well. The redhead smiled widely and after double-checking that everything was alright, the server left the two of you to your dinner. Natasha glanced up at you, a very amused smile playing on her lips. You knew exactly what it was about, too. You'd gotten the wrong order and said absolutely nothing of it. Honestly, you didn't really care. At this point in the day, you just wanted to eat.

"You could've said something," Natasha teased.

"It's nothing. I'm hungry and this is just as good."

"We can still say something."

"It's fine," you assured.

"Let's stop and buy you a couple hundred good luck charms on the way back to your place."

You laughed aloud.

Dinner was good, despite having gotten the wrong order. You suspected that was due to Natasha's presence. The two of you had been exchanging stores of the craziest missions you'd ever gone on. Of course, she was winning. She was an Avenger. Your missions as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent were anything but boring, but they didn't compare to the alien invasion last year that Natasha had been at the heart of. You'd been helping from the edges of the city, evacuating civilians and the like, but you suspected she'd killed hundred more of the Chitauri than you did: one.

Before long you'd both finished, and the empty plates were cleared away. The server returned to you with the bill. You made sure your card was out before Natasha could even think about trying to pay. They collected your card, and you gave Natasha a very smug little smirk. She only rolled her eyes and thanked you softly. You thought all was said and done when the server returned. You prepared to leave but she shook her head, signalling you to stop what you were doing. She reached out, handing you your card back. You took it.

"I'm afraid the transaction isn't going through."

It seemed that your bad luck had struck again. You were fully confident that there was enough money in your account. There had been last night when you'd checked it, anyway. Either you'd had the misfortune of your card deciding to kick the bucket while you tried to buy dinner for Natasha, or even worse, someone had gotten into your bank account and cleared it out. That thought made your heart drop into your stomach as you reached for your phone, hardly noticing Natasha pulling out her own credit card this time.

You prayed for one tiny bit of luck today. Your prayers went unanswered. You logged into your online banking to find that someone had managed to get your credit card number and had been online shopping all day. Your card had long hit its limit and you were already dreading the phone call you were about to have with the bank. You huffed as you set your phone down roughly on the tabletop. Natasha glanced over at you as the server took her card this time. She raised an eyebrow. You were sure smoke was billowing from your ears.

"Luck isn't turning yet?"

You didn't answer that. "Thanks for dinner, Natasha."

She laughed. When the server returned her card and wished you both a good evening, she took your hand and dragged you back out the doors onto the noisy streets of New York. She was leading you back to S.H.I.E.L.D., where you knew she must have left her bike. When you got there, she scanned her ID and brought you both down into the parking garage. She brought you right to the motorbike and lifted the helmet off from where it was hanging on the handlebars. She reached out and set it on your head, doing it up underneath your chin. Her fingers brushed your skin as she worked at the straps.

"Normally I would never condone riding without a helmet, but I only have one. This head," she said, rapping her knuckles twice against the helmet on your head. "Is much more important than mine."

"Is not," you laughed. "There's hundreds of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, but there's only six Avengers."

"And there's only one you," she insisted. "The helmet stays on that pretty little head of yours, and that's final."

That compliment seemed to awaken the butterflies in your stomach. They were still present when you both climbed onto the bike. They fluttered even more when Natasha told you to put your arms around her and hold tight. You could have stayed like this forever if she'd asked you to. You almost wanted her to ask you to, because you loved the ways your arms fit perfectly around her waist. Facing forward, she wasn't able to see the smile that was growing on your lips. Maybe all that bad luck was to make up for this.

Reluctantly, you took your arms off from around her when she pulled into your driveway. She put the kickstand down and took the helmet once you'd pulled it off and handed it back to her. You straightened out your hair a little bit in the reflection of your car window. Wordlessly, Natasha had moved to the hood of your car and tapped on the red paint to get your attention. You unlocked the car and popped the hood for her. She unhooked the latch and lifted it up, studying the inside carefully. That scene you'd been picturing earlier was coming true before your eyes.

"Start the car for me?"

You nodded. You dropped your bag on the doorstep, digging through the pockets until your hand had closed around your car keys. You withdrew them by tugging on the dinosaur keychain that Natasha had once given you after winning it at the arcade, where you'd spent hours at all the different games. You slid into the front seat, turning on the car when Natasha gave you the thumbs up. The car sputtered loudly. Then it made a sound you might have mistaken for a gunshot. The backfire nearly made you jump out of your seat. You quickly got out.

"You alright, Nat?"

"I'm good," she nodded. She moved away from the car. "It's probably just your spark plugs. When's the last time you had them replaced?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Hell if I know. I drop it off for a tune-up and expect them to tune it up."

Natasha laughed. "I'll grab some tomorrow and replace them for you."

You nodded. You watched as she reached up and grabbed the hood of the car, closing it again. She rubbed her hands against her pants. You clicked a button on your car keys, locking the doors. The lights flashed to indicate that it was indeed secured. You fiddled with the keys in your hand to get the house key out, opening your mouth to invite Natasha in as well, but found you couldn't find the golden key. You growled at nothing and dug through every pocket in your bag to see if it had fallen off in there, but there was no trace of it.

"My house key is missing."

Natasha actually laughed at this. "Did you walk under a ladder this morning? Spill the salt? Break a mirror?"

You glared at her. "Can you help me get in through a window?"

She nodded. You both moved around to one of the windows that you'd left open last night, after telling her you weren't sure you had locked it when you shut it this morning. Indeed, she found that once you'd removed the screen, she was able to slide the window open. You linked your fingers together to make a spot for Natasha to use for leverage. You boosted her through the open window and then moved back to the front door just as you heard the deadbolt slide out of place.

"My hero," you grinned as she opened the door. "I owe you a drink. Come on."

"I still have to drive home."

"Stay the night," you offered. "If you don't, I could very well just get murdered tonight."

Natasha laughed. "Well, I'd better stay and make sure you're okay, then."

You smacked her gently. She knew her way around your small bungalow well, having visited what could have easily been a million times. She made herself at home on the couch, tossing her leather jacket beside her. You moved into the kitchen, only paying half a glance at the towels you'd thrown over the two spilled beverages. You poured the both of you a drink and then brought them into the living room, kicking back on the couch beside her. You grabbed the remote, clicking the TV on. The screen lit up the room. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the beautiful face beside you that had been illuminated. You turned back to the screen.

"I can put Netflix on," you said, pressing a button. "What do you want to watch?"

"Can I test your luck?"

"What?" You responded, turning your full attention to her.

She didn't offer an explanation. You felt her hand touch your thigh. Your breath hitched and the remote almost fell to the floor. You managed to set it down on the table as your cheeks began to burn red. She left her hand there for a few seconds before it slid away, letting you take a moment to remember how to breathe. Her hand moved away and wrapped around her glass. You knew how obvious you were being when you watched her touch the rim to her lips and the slight movements in her neck as she swallowed the alcohol. You needed a drink too, but you were frozen.

"I just mean... I could either turn your luck around or just maintain the bad luck."

You still didn't know what she meant. She was setting her glass down on the coffee table. Her eyes searched yours and you were once again tossed into the sea of green that you were so obsessed with. When she leaned forward and connected your lips, though, you lost sight of emerald green. Her eyes had shut and only a second later, yours had fluttered shut as well. You put a hand on the back of her neck to hold her closer and moved your lips with hers. You wondered briefly if you were dreaming. You didn't have long with your thoughts. Your mind was so overcome with whatever was happening right now.

Natasha pulled back. Her hand had, at some point, moved back onto your thigh, and was resting there gently. Your hand moved to cover it. She flipped hers over so that her fingers could intertwine with yours and for the first time, it didn't feel like it was just in a friendly manner. It felt so much more than that, just liked you'd wanted it to. Your eyes moved from there up to her face. She had been studying you intently. You'd never seen Natasha Romanoff look nervous. Not until that very moment. You chuckled a little, nervousness in your chest as well, and let your eyes fall.

"You definitely turned it," was all you said.

"Yeah?"

"By a long shot. I mean, I think this amount of good luck was enough to actually balance out the bad luck."

You didn't know Natasha could giggle, but she did. The sound made a smile immediately spread over your face. You reached out and took her hands in your own. You leaned forward and kissed her again, infatuated with the feeling of her soft lips pressed against yours so rough and yet somehow so soft. One of your hands pulled out of hers so it could thread through the red waves on her head. You'd wanted to do that for so long. She only pulled back when you'd both lost your breath. Your forehead rested against hers and you could smell the whiskey on her breath.

"Do you know how long I've wanted that?" You breathed.

"I'd guessed it, but I thought it was just my imagination because I wanted the same thing."

You laughed. She put her hands on your shoulders, pushing your back down against the couch and then putting her knees on either side of your waist. Her lips were on yours again, a little hotter this time. You didn't complain. You just let her lean down over you and kiss you and run her hand down your side. You only raised a hand to her chest and pushed her away when you once more felt the need for oxygen burning inside your chest. She didn't move far, face inches from yours, studying you this time from above. You blushed under her gaze.

"I... I've felt really strongly about you for a while," you said, hand moving so you could trace your fingertips across her cheek. "You know what I mean?"

"Are you trying to tell me you love me without saying you love me?" She asked, the teasing back in her voice again. "Because you're not going to scare me off. You can say it if you want."

"I love you, Natasha."

"I love you, too."

You couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't funny in any way, but maybe it was the relief trying to find a way out of your body. The sound seemed to make Natasha's eyes, sparkle. Your heart softened and the laughter fell from your lips and you didn't move a muscle. Her face was so beautiful looking down at you like it was. You felt so right having her touch you like this and touching her the way you were. Her hands were holding her torso up above yours and yours were touching her face so gently. It wasn't like a friend touched a friend anymore.

"Thanks for turning my luck."

"Are you kidding me? I'm the lucky one."

"I think we're both really fucking lucky, Natasha. Thank you."

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

REQUEST (Nerd!Felix/Yongbok x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Non-Con, humiliation, degradation, brat taming, watersports, breath play, rough filthy shit. Read at own risk.

"If that isn't our little Yongbokkieeee~" Felix sighed and shut his eyes tightly when he heard the familiar dreadful voice from behind, holding the straps of his school bag even tighter. "Aigoooi~ aren't you in a hurry, foreign booooy?" Her perfectly manicured hand placed on the boy's shoulder, pulling him back.

"Let go, Y/n-ah…" The boy spoke, trying his best not to snap at the little slut. She was so foolish. A fucking clown. A narrow minded little racist bitch. That's what.

"Ahhhh… your Korean is soooo adorable…" Before she moved to stand in front of him, heavy tits tightly packed in her school shirt, the first few buttons up. "What's the rush, Aussie boy? Too proud to make friends? Tsk, tsk!" Felix felt like smacking her infuriatingly cute little face.

"You know it's not like tha-"

"LISTEN UP, EVERYONE!" Y/n clapped and got everyone's attention, the whole hallway of students going home stopping to look at her. "OUR FOREIGN BOY DOESN'T WANNA BE FRIENDS~" she pouted as if it really hurt her. "HE AVOIDED ME ALL DAY IN SCHOOL TOO! HOW PROUD, TSK!" Everyone booed him, calling him names and whatnot. It was terrible.

Had he known moving to Korea was going to be like this he'd have never agreed. They made fun of his looks, his accent, the grammatical errors he made and his English name that he preferred. Even though Felix was using his English name in his documents now that he was all grown up, Y/n had somehow learnt his Korean one and she wasn't going to let him live it down.

"Aigo what a loser" splashing the juice in her hand at his shirt, the girl clicked her tongue and walked away while laughing, leaving the boy in absolute despair due to how badly it stained his shirt.

He didn't want to hurt her because she was clearly fucking naive and dumb but fuck. Y/n was making it fucking hard.

.

Felix checked his room one last time to make sure it was clean and smelt nice with just the right amount of ventilation. Setting his books up on the foldable desks he'd set up on the bed, the boy opened up the other desk too. His mom had asked him if he could teach her bestfriend's child some English as they were apparently in the same year as him. The boy was happy to help and agreed so now his mom's friend was going to drop the kid off at their house that he didn't know anything about.

And who else could it be other than the one and only. How fucking cliche.

The male was unsure of how to act when he heard his mom's voice and another women's before his door was knocked, opening as Mrs. Lee along a stern looking tall and built women in a police uniform appeared.

Felix got up and respectfully bowed to the women as she greeted him back, her friendly smile really unusual for her stern features. "Hello, dear. Thank you so much for your kind gesture. I've been looking for a good teacher for quite some time now but my child is… slow." She chuckled. "Maybe it'd be easier for her if someone her age teaches her…"

"Oh, of course. No problem at all. I'd be actually very happy to help. That way I get to revise too and study from a different perspective, ma'am." He didn't know why, but he couldn't stop the smirk from appearing on his face. Oh. She was trying her best to hide behind her mother but Felix had seen the pathetic little girl.

Oh how fucking perfect.

"Ah I hope my kid can learn well from you in not just academics but manners too… Now! Y/n-ah- where…" Her mother looked for her before turning around to find her hiding, gripping her wrist and pulling her in front of the taller boy. "There you are. Now… learn well okay? Felix will take well care of you" her mother glanced at the boy and he nodded, bowing a little bit as he said of course.

Y/n was trying not to die as she was made to stand right in front of fucking Yongbok out of all! How was she so stupid?! She should have put two and two together! Oh fuck! This was bad! This was terrible for her image! Now he knew that she was looking for tuition and not all that careless about studies as she seemed to act like back in school. And she also wasn't a badass in her private life.

Fuck.

"Be good. I'll pick you up on my way back, alright?" The girl had non-existent balls to brat with her mother as she was a firm police woman and knew how to get brats going. She had gotten enough harsh punishments from her mom to even dare to try. Y/n did her best to pretend to be a good kid. Or her mom had threatened to send her off to juvi or a boarding school! "Hm?"

The girl whimpered, feeling the boy's gaze burn into her very soul. "Y- Yes, mommy." She could only whisper back, head lowered all the way.

"Good baby. Now give mommy a kiss." Y/n could die of embarrassment right now, her cheeks burning as she felt humiliated. Oh she had no idea what was coming her way. This was nothing. Her mother still treated her like a 4 year old baby and not like she was 18. It was so fucking stupid!

"Y- Yes, mommy…" There was no use hiding. Yongbok could see it all and he was quietly observing it. Standing on her tippy toes because of being much smaller than her mom, Y/n kissed her cheek. "Bye, mommy." The copper ruffled her daughter's head before leaving with Felix's mother who was also dressed for work.

Lowering her head even more when it was just the both of them, Y/n held her bag right as she didn't turn around, not wanting to face the smug boy, whimpering when he stepped forward to close his door.

"She… doesn't know, does she?" Felix's deep voice pierced through her soul as he turned around to look down at her now, grinning wide. "Tsk… look at this cute little turtleneck and long skirt… those baby shoes and these pigtails…" Y/n felt her heart starting to pound when he suddenly tugged at her twin ponytails, her cheeks feeling even hotter in pure humiliation. "If only you were actually a good babygirl like your 'mommy' thinks and not a skimpy little slutty whore ridiculing people for no fucking reason at school" clicking his tongue, the boy walked to his bed and plopped on it in a relaxed manner, well aware that he had her exactly where a bitch like her should be. "I wonder how she will react if she finds out that you are actually-"

"N- NO PLEASE!" Y/n finally found her voice and rushed to him, helplessly pleading. "PLEASE DON'T TELL M- MOMMY! I- I AM SORRY!" She struggled, not knowing what to say. This was so awkward and strange. Something she'd never thought of. Fuck.

"Ahhh so you really are an all talk whore, tsk. Acting all cool and fearless in school but actually a pathetic little mommy's baby." Felix chuckled tauntingly and shook his head, eyes cold. Months. She'd been troubling him for months simply because he was a foreigner and made mistakes in Korean. "Come here, let me see. I wouldn't be surprised if you're also wearing a nappy under that cute skirt. Do you need a change?" He teasingly went to grab her arm which caused the girl to stagger backwards.

"N- No! No, Y- Yon- Felix! I- I swear I am not! I am not wearing a-- p- please! Don't do this! I- I won't bother you again! You don't even have to tutor me! Just please don't tell mom!" Y/n hated how pathetically she had to beg him.

"Ah… so it's suddenly Felix now, huh?" The male chuckled before speaking again. "Since I am not a pathetic slut like you, I won't tell your mom but in exchange, you'll have to be good for me. If you oblige, good. If you don't, I'll have to tell her, little one. Because what you're doing will end up harming someone really bad."

The girl desperately dropped her bag, sitting in his feet and holding his knees. "Y- Yes! Yes! Alright! I'll be good! I'll do whatever you want! Just don't tell mom! I don't wanna go to juvi or boarding-" her eyes widened before she slapped her mouth shut. Oh no! She didn't just tell him that!

Felix threw his head back and laughed. "Ahhh so it's like that, I see…" He was enjoying this. Looking down at her, Felix felt something stir inside him as his eyes got darker. She looked so fucking perfect kneeling under him like this. It was getting so hard to hold back now that he had her. "Fine. If you don't want to go to boarding or juvi, you'll have to be my little fuck piggy. And when I say that, I mean it. You'll be my literal plaything and there will be no denying my orders. You'll have to obey and be good like a brainless little slave doll… You will only know what I allow. You will only do as I say. No using your own brain, not that it is very smart anyway… That is the price." He had always had… dark desires. Which was one of the reasons he'd never dated much. But when Felix had seen Y/n all those months ago in school for the first time, he had unintentionally imagined how it would feel to ruin her to the point of despair before building her back up.

And now that he was so close to having it. Fuck. The boy was going insane.

Y/n nodded slowly, tears forming in her eyes as she bit her lip. "Y- Yes, I… I agree. I- I'll be your d- doll, Felix… J- Just please d- don't tell anyone… I- I beg you… I- I don't wanna g- go to boarding or…" A sob left her, his finger catching her tear amidst of falling down.

This was so wrong. But she deserved it. Felix was absolutely disgusted by bullies.

"Don't worry. Like your mother said, I'll take goood care of you." The naive girl had no idea what she had signed herself up for or just what his words meant. "Then… why don't you prove your worth by getting up and stripping to let me see my belongings... And, get those dirty little hands off. Fuck toys don't deserve to touch Master unless allowed." Felix swatted them off.

"W- What? M- Master…? S- Strip?" Y/n was lost.

"What else did you think? Some Wattpad romance where I make you my little sidekick or something before I confess that I've liked you all along?" Raising an eyebrow he pushed her back. "Get to it."

"B- But F- Felix-!"

"It's Master!" The male firmly spoke as he glared down at her, yanking one of her pigtails. "Come on now… time's running and we don't have all day my little toy. You better start behaving before it's too late…" Her sobs and tears satisfied him so much.

Y/n slowly got up with her head lowered, trembling as she stepped out of her shoes, slowly pulling her socks off. "I- I can't believe I am doing this in front o- of you.." She whispered while struggling to not collapse on her knees, literally shivering under his firm gaze.

"I also couldn't believe a person as rotten as you existed." Before he grabbed the hem of her dress, pulling her closer and snorting when she gasped, flinching when he leaned back again. Felix's foot trailed up her shaking leg, the top of his foot rubbing against her covered core before he grabbed the waistband of her panties with his toes, pulling them down from under the skirt. "Ahh… so little girl's mommy really doesn't put her in nappies, I see…" Before he looked back up at her face, his foot resting on the underwear between her ankles now. "Skirt off now."

The girl was wiping at her tears as she shakily undid the skirt before letting it fall, her heart pounding even harder when the cold air attacked her core before he made her pull her shirt up and off, suddenly ripping her bra off which caused her to scream.

"Tsk… you sure are jumpy and scaredy for how tough you act." The boy shook his head, feeding off her misery. "Pick that underwear up." Y/n reached for it when he finally removed his foot from the top of it, stepping out of it and picking it up, even her ears red now out of humiliation. "Put it on your head." Another sob left her as he pinched and played with her breast, loving the authority he had over her.

"Fe- M- Master…" Shaking her head, she tried to back away but Felix wasn't having it.

"What did I just fucking say?!" He snapped, towering over her when the boy stood up, making her cower down before she put the smelly article over her head, biting her lips to stop her sobs from escaping. "Such a good toy…" Felix cooed this time, rubbing her head as he pulled it down and covered her eyes with the waistband, pulling her pigtails out of the sides.

"Fuck… you look good. Just how a dumb brainless slut should look." Fishing his phone out, he smirked. "This proves how you've no problem with being brainless. You look fucking retarded but you're doing it because Master said it. That's exactly what this is about. Obedience" before he suddenly kissed her briefly, making her gasp.

"Now~ smile wide for a picture…" Before he turned the camera on and stepped back, making sure her whole body was in frame. Fuck. Felix was so fucking painfully hard. "Come on… don't be shy" he taunted when she sobbed in protest, making him switch to video instead. "Fine, then." His taunting smile dropped to a firm expression as he approached her, placing his feet on hers before he smacked her face, catching it all on camera.

"Aigooo~" he mimicked her, smacking her other cheek, uncovering her eyes but still keeping the underwear on her head. He decided that it will be a new style for her. "Look at this whore~" Y/n's flushed cheeks now received some more slaps before he placed his hand on her nose and pushed it back, chuckling loudly. "Awww such a cute little fuck piggy we have here… she loves this doesn't she?" When she continued to cry, Felix smacked her head and pulled at the girl's ponytail. "DOESN'T SHE?"

"Y- Yes, Master! Yes!"

"Good girl" pushing her nose back to look like a pig's again, the male spat at it. "Now tell Master you're thankful. Get on your knees and be good."

"T- Thank you, M- Master…" The girl cried out, slowly getting on her knees now. "Thank you s- so much…" Felix parted her legs by his foot, cutting the footage and tossing his phone on the bed before kicking her pussy, causing Y/n to jerk forward, face banging straight into his cock.

A moan left him before he grabbed both her ponytails, wrapping them around his hands. "Now I have a present for you. I bought it all a while back and have been keeping it hidden and safe for when I get a fuck piggy. And now that you're here, I'll give you it."

Yes, Felix was pissed at her and yes, he loved destroying her but he was no asshole. She still had that cute little whore face he adored.

Crouching down in front of her, he gripped her chin and kissed her lips again, ignoring her gasp and kissing her again before spitting right on her tongue. "Swallow it and wait for Master to be back. Face down and ass up. I shouldn't have to fuckin repeat myself."

Y/n trembled as she struggled to swallow his spit, bowing down on the ground, slowly raising her nude ass back up. A few moments passed with Felix bringing stuff over and near her, fumbling with things in his closet before he finally closed it and walked to her. "Aren't you lucky? Finding an owner without even looking. There's so many pets like you who have no Master… or not a good one at least, you know…" Standing behind her, Felix rubbed the lube all over the tiny and thick piggy tail assplug. "Aren't you lucky?"

The girl knew what he wanted to hear so she nervously started, having no idea what the boy was about to do. "Y- Yes, Master… v- very luc- AHHHH!" She could only lay there and weakly cry as Felix laughed loudly at her scream because he'd pushed the plug in, tapping her ass.

"Good piggy~" the male cooed and hooked a thin chain to a small loop on top of the plug, slowly making her sit up in silence, the only sounds being her weak sobs. "Just… give in… it'll hurt less that way and you'll be happier." His eyes were trained on what he was doing, the long chain extending from down her plug having nose hooks at the other end that he plugged in her nose, chuckling when her eyes widened as she located the small cage in front of her.

"Oh, yeah. That is your new crib" Felix was clearly loving this. Kissing her stretched little piggy nose, he placed the pink piggy ears on her underwear covered head, followed by a pink collar that had a small bell attached to it. "You look so beautiful…" Kissing her lips again, Felix attached weights to her nipples, making her whine out in pain as she tried to stop his hands. "Oho~" he swatted her hands away, grabbing the piggy hands and feet before putting them on her, finally folding her limbs and binding them.

"Hmmm… that's like a good filthy little fuck pig." Before he attached a leash to her collar and gulped, feeling his balls ache now due to the masterpiece he'd made, pulling at the leash to have her crawl in the cage before he closed it, chuckling at how she kept tripping. "Clumsy pig." Before he started to take pictures, taunting and humiliating her all the while.

.

When Felix was satisfied with the photoshoot, he opened the cage and walked to the bed, holding her leash and pulling her with him. "Now… the fun part." Before he tucked his aching cock out much to her horror, sitting down on the bed and pulling her in between her legs. Pumping his cock a little, the male moaned loudly as he started to piss on her face, chuckling loudly when she yelled and protested, trying to move away but only falling on her face, choking when he harshly pulled at her leash, forcefully pushing his cock in her mouth. "You better swallow that!"

Y/n started crying loudly again, wails leaving her throat as his hot piss started travelling down her throat, making her choke and gag as he loudly laughed. "What a useless piggy! Can't even be a good urinal." Before he smacked her face again, now starting to fuck her mouth fast and rough, hitting his hard tip against the back of her throat before forcefully pushing in, a trail of piss and spit hanging down her lips.

"Fuck… fuck…" Felix moaned loudly, his cock twitching inside of her and pulsating from how fucking good it felt. From her soft mouth to her tight throat, to how he could see his cock against her skin, her eyes widened when her breath supply would totally cut off from his balls getting stuffed between her lips.

"Fuck… you're no good… I'll have to train you plenty" her cries were causing shivers and vibrations up his cock as he fucked her face up and down his cock by her ponytails, kicking her pussy as he went faster and faster, his hips starting to ache from how much strength it was causing.

"What a dumb slut!" Pulling his cock out of her throat, he kicked her on her back, making her arch her back when the tail plug brushed against the floor. "I need that useless fucking pussy now. It better be worth it." Y/n felt scared and nervous for her vagina now as he warned and crawled over her now, pushing his way forcefully inside, biting down at her lip when he felt her hymen tear and lube his cock up.

"I am going to make an absolute mess out of you." He promised, his deep voice sending shivers down her sweaty body. "My mess."

.

I am sorry if it was too rough sjskso you said like bullying gone wrong-

[peanutpinet]

Nine Percent 3rd Year Anniversary Scenario

Yes, yes, I know, it's been 3 days since their actual 3rd year anniversary. Yes, I had a brainfart and knew that I forgot something and didn't realise until late at night (like 10pm or 11pm). But hey, better late than never, right? RIGHT?! (My inner self: funny). Anyways, I wish them all nothing but the best for both their career and personal life. May they be able to do whatever they want and not be judged or be commented anything negative. Alright", scenario time!!

Pics are from: @ninepercent._.forever on Instagram

Cai Xukun

A.N: yes, yes, finally got some more soft pics uwu, thanks Aliya, okie" scenario

I imagine that you were rushing to get this limited edition record/album from your local music shop because not only was it limited edition, but the artist also signed them personally and not the ones where they just copy 1 signature for all the copies but they actually signed them with a pen and all but no one knew about it because they just came out with it but you were lucky because you had a friend working at the music store. You immediately texted your friend, telling them to keep one for you as you were now rushing out the door in your hoodie and sweats with sandals.

Upon arriving, you were wondering where your friend was since you just wanted to pay for the album and leave. You quickly texted your friend which they mentioned that they had to run a few errands for a bit since it was exactly lunchtime when you came.

Sighing, you decided to just look around but stopped at your tracks when you saw none other than Cai Xukun, the very artist whose album you asked your friend to keep. Not wanting him to notice what a mess you look, you hid behind the shelves and peeked through, observing what he was doing. It wasn't until Kun suddenly called you out that you completely blew your cover.

"You know, I'm not that scary to approach" Kun blurted, not moving his gaze away from the albums

"I--I'm sorry, I didn't mean to st-stalk you. It's just that, I'm a fan and I'm waiting for my friend, they work here and I've asked them to keep one of your albums that you personally sign and, what am I even saying?!" you blabbed, covering your face with your hands and hoodies

"I can sign it specifically for you, if you'd like" Kun smiled, looking up to face you

"Oh my, yes, umm, thank you so very much" you blurted, bowing at him

"Relax. You don't have to bow. C'mere, we can take a picture as well :)" Kun exclaimed, nudging you to go there

and let's just say, you and Kun had a nice lil chat after your little meetup session whilst waiting for your friend to come back. You also made a lil note to thank your friend for leaving

Chen Linong

For this one, I imagine that you, Nongnong and some old school friends were going on a road trip together and stayed in an Airbnb. During the first night, you were supposedly sleeping with your friend (girl) but that night, you guys just finished watching a horror/thriller movie (which you just cuddle up in Nong's arms since you were terrified, if you actually like watching horror, just pretend that this one terrified you quite a bit). After the movie, you couldn't really sleep and it was already nearly 3 in the morning that you went out of your room and to the kitchen to grab a light snack and heard some footsteps.

Scared, you unconsciously grabbed the kitchen knife and turned around to face the person that crept up on you; which turns out to be Nongnong. He immediately held his hands up in defeat but the same time chuckling on why are you holding a kitchen knife. You shyly admitted to him that you couldn't sleep because of the movie you watched; it also didn't help that your friend sometimes talks in their sleep.

Humming, Nongnong asked if you didn't mind sleeping with him. He said that he'll definitely make sure that you'll be asleep before he sleeps and he also suggested that you guys watch some cartoon. Since you and Nongnong have known each other for years and occasionally have sleepovers (of course in different rooms), you didn't mind sleeping with him since back in high school, you had a trip and you slept on his shoulder whilst being on the bus.

Because you were also quite tired and really wanted some rest, you agreed and the both of you went to Nongnong's room. Nongnong then allowed you to sleep on whichever side of the bed as he grabbed his iPad and opened your favourite cartoon. In a matter of a few episodes, you were finally asleep and Nongnong tucked you in before patting your head and sleeping as well.

In the next morning, you woke up surprisingly well. You didn't know if it's because you were watching cartoons with Nongnong or that it was just Nongnong in general making you safe. You decided to head to the kitchen to grab something to drink but then your friends teased you to call your "boyfriend" out to have breakfast all together.

You then blushed and head back to the room, seeing Nongnong yawning as he sat on the bed, asking you if you had a good night sleep which you nodded and told him that the others are waiting for you both to have breakfast.

"Did you have a good night sleep (Y/N)?" Nongnong asked, still yawning

"Y-yea, I owe you Nong, thank you" you stuttered, looking away

"Oi, lovebirds!! Hurry up or you won't have any breakfast" your friends teased

"Let's not keep them waiting shall we sweetie?" Nongnong commented, getting up and stretching

"Wh-what?" you mumbled

"Oh, I thought you already know that I like you since I know that you like me" Nongnong mentioned

"Wh-what?! When?! Wh-when did I?! OH NO!!" you blabbed, covering your blushing face

"In your sleep, last night, right before I fell asleep. There's nothing to be shy about. I like you too (Y/N) <3, let's go eat!!" Nongnong exclaimed, grabbing your hand and dragging you out of the room

Fan Chengcheng

For this one, I imagine that you and Chengcheng were friends in high school. You knew him since back in junior high and while your first impression of him wasn't all that good since you thought he'd be a spoiled brat since he came from a wealthy family and the younger brother of one of the country's famous actress. But as it turns out, he was very hardworking despite not paying that much attention in class.

A/N: let's rewind a bit how you both got close

You were stuck as his lab partner for a whole year back in junior high which at first you didn't really want to since you knew he didn't pay attention in class that much and you'd worry that in the end, you'd have to do all the job while he just gets the credit. But nope, big mistake.

As soon you were paired up, Chengcheng didn't waste time asking for your contact after school and told you that you guys should stay at the library after school on the day of your lab so you can get the job done that day as well. Now, to say you were amazed was an understatement. You were practically impressed that Chengcheng understood most of the job and even concluded the paper.

But one time, you guys had to stay at the library till late at night and Chengcheng even ordered food the minute he heard your stomach grumble (cue you being embarrassed). Afterwards, you guys just talk over things like your likes and dislikes and Chengcheng even brought you home up till your doorstep. Ever since, the both of you have been inseparable. Well, that is until Chengcheng said he had to leave to join Idol Producer.

It was rough. He wasn't able to contact you since his phone was taken from him. However, you did try your best to send actual letters to him which surprisingly, he received and even send you back some letters as well. You wouldn't admit it but you miss him and actually have a crush on him. You were going to tell him but when he actually made it into 9%, you knew you wouldn't be able to stand a chance against all the other female artists so, you texted Cheng, saying your congratulations and the same time cut off your friendship, to the point you even blocked his number. You couldn't deal with heartbreaks because it was just too much and you really wanted Chengcheng to focus on his career.

Unfortunately, the past few days were not easy for you. It was very painful, especially seeing how happy Chengcheng was in L.A. You're sad and wasn't focused on school at all. But one Saturday morning changed everything for you. You had never been so thankful to be awake so early in the morning until this day.

It's been 2 weeks since you cut your friendship and any sort of communication with Chengcheng and during those 2 weeks, your sleep schedule was a mess to the point that today, you slept at 1 and suddenly woke up at 5(ish) in the morning. You twist and turn yet you still couldn't sleep. Eventually, it was 6 in the morning and you decided to just get up and have an early morning walk to clear your mind.

You got changed and pulled on your favourite coat (which was actually one of Chengcheng's but you forgot) and head out to walk around your neighbourhood. Until you stumble upon a familiar stair walk. It was one where you and Chengcheng hung out after you finished your report and heading back home. The memory caught you off-guard that tears started to stream down your face and you tried your best to wipe them until a familiar voice startled you.

"Are you crying because of stress because finals are in a month or because you haven't seen me in so long? Because I sure as hell miss talking to you, too" a familiar voice exclaimed

"OMO, Ch-cheng?! FAN CHENGCHENG?!" you blurted, whipping your head to see Chengcheng just a few flights below you

"I miss you too (Y/N). It was tough not being able to talk to you through those 4 months and even when I was in L.A." Chengcheng mumbled, walking towards you

"I--I'm sorry Cheng. I didn't want to interfere with your life. I know that you've wanted to become an idol/artist and I know I wouldn't exactly match the people you'll be hanging out, I--" you blabbled until Chengcheng pulled you into a hug, patting your head

"I don't care. Sure, I may meet lots of new people. But no one can replace you. Plus, who am I going to take with me to night markets when I'm hungry and take pretty pictures together with? Of course, that's you!! I wouldn't switch you for anyone or anything in the world. I don't care that you blocked my number because I can always put in my numbers again. So please, don't leave me. Now, let's go have breakfast, hmm?" Chengcheng grinned, pulling away from the hug, smiling as he tucked a hair behind my ear, caressing my cheek in the process

Justin Huang

aFor this, Imma do something slightly different than previous Justin scenarios. So, I'm going to imagine that you're Justin's senior back in primary school. Justin has a vivid memory of what you did for him (which was standing up to the bullies) but you didn't remember him that well since you had a 2 (almost 3) year gap.

*Also, let's say that you were in campus (3rd year) whilst Justin had just turned 19

You were just trying to have a nice "normal" day in school since finals were just right around the corner. Everything was going so well and finals were not bad at all. It was the studying process that was annoying to you because your dorm were filled with either parties or gossips all in the halls whilst the library of your campus was always hogged by random people (like hello? are you here to study or to live here?). Anyways, lucky for you, a small studying cafe just opened near your dorm and so you decided to just stay there and study.

The past few days were nice. The cafe was calm and everyone was either actually studying or chatting (but they weren't loud and unreasonable like those in campus). Until one time, there was this boy, looked like he's in his teens and forgot his wallet to pay since it seemed that his phone ran out of battery. Because the drink was already being made, he couldn't exactly cancel or anything. Sighing, you got up and decided to pay for the boy who turned to bow at you, thanking you. Until the boy looked up and immediately recognised you.

"Eh?! JIEJIE?! It's me!! Just....uhhh, how bout we sit down and talk" Justin softly exclaimed, grabbing you and went to sit back at your table

After a bit of talking, you were taken aback that the boy/junior you helped back then was now this handsome tall young man. The both of you talked quite a lot since it has been years since you last saw each other. The two of you exchanged contacts and Justin proposed that you'd meet up again since he was in town for a few weeks.

But that plan somewhat backfired since Justin couldn't wait to see you again so he just straight up went to meet you since you told him where you lived. Instead of being a "brat" like most kids his aged, he was very polite with your parents, telling them that whilst he was younger, he'll protect you and bring you back before 10pm.

It was nice to catch up with Justin. You realised how mature he is for his age and even had to miss out on normal teen stuff like going out with friends, struggling with assignments and finals together. But Justin said that while he does feel sad for missing out on lots of things, he said that he loves what he does and he learnt so much.

Everything was going well with the both of you until Justin's sasaengs finds out about you. Some made fake accounts, threatening you to stay away from Justin. You know better than to deal with those immatures so you just blocked them from your social media and went on with your life.

But damn the universe is testing you because some of the sasaengs actually go to the same campus as you do. The first few meetings with them were still manageable. But they aren't called sasaengs for nothing. Because it slowly escalated and things got more physical to the point you started to distance yourself from Justin.

But Justin noticed your change in behaviour. He was so fed up one day that he went all the way to your campus to figure out what has made you like this. He didn't care about the amount of ppl suddenly paying attention to him because all he cared about was finding you; which he found you exactly when the sasaengs attacked.

Immediately, he didn't waste any time and called mama Ting, telling him about the sasaengs and have him report them to the police or something. Justin then immediately called out the sasaengs, threatening them and telling everyone who was watching to never bully anyone ever again; regardless of the reasoning.

Justin then took you out of your campus and to the cafe where you guys first reconnect again. He apologised for getting you involved in this mess but the same time that he doesn't want to be separated from you; adding that he'll always be there like you did when you were young.

"Jie, why didn't you tell me? I know you're strong enough to take care of yourself. Heck!! You helped me back in primary school!! I grew up, getting stronger so one day when we meet again, you wouldn't think of me as a whimp" Justin exclaimed

"I never thought of you as a whimp, Justin. But sometimes, you just need an extra hand" you replied

"Look who's talking? But I'm serious jie. Please tell me whenever this happens. I'll show no mercy!!" Justin boasted

"Ya!! Just because you're famous and all, you shouldn't be like, especially towards women" you complained

"Hehehe, it's not that. It's just that ppl should get what they deserve. Anyways, I'm hungry, let's eat!! My treat!!" Justin exclaimed

Lin Yanjun

Help, I miss Yanjun so much :(( but for reals though, I don't want to pressure him or complain much because honestly, I can somewhat understand him since I'm an introvert too. Alright, I don't want to give off this negative energy so let's jump into the scenario :)

Alright, for this I'll imagine that you're visiting Yanjun who's in Taiwan because he was taking some rest. Honestly, you were quite nervous since you had never been to Taiwan and met Yanjun from work (this is a story for another time). One of the main reasons why you were nervous is because you were going to meet his parents and even spend your time living with him and his family when you don't really know their culture that well.

But honestly, there was nothing to worry about since Yanjun's parents heard nothing but good things from both Yanjun and even Zhangjing (since you were quite close with Zhangjing). When you arrived, you tried your best to be polite even though you were very awkward and stuttered a lot. But when Yanjun's sister came, she helped make you feel at home and ease despite being slightly younger than you.

Within hours, you and Yanjun's sister became close and she even shared some embarrassing moments of Yanjun to you (which Yanjun found out and deal with his siter later on). And within days, Yanjun's parents showed no signs of disliking you at all. Instead, you and his mom actually went to the market a few times together and even cooked together.

Time skip to a few days before you have to go back to your country

Yanjun's parents thought that it was a good idea for both you and Yanjun to go out, just the both of you since you had been spending so much time with his family and rarely went out with just Yanjun for a whole day. So, they set things up and made sure that it would just be the two of you; they even went as far as letting Yanjun use the car.

Yanjun already knew where he would take you; the ocean (one of his favourite places to be). When you arrived, you wasted no time and getting out of the car, taking off your shoes and running on the sand, barefeet; which of course, Yanjun chuckled whilst taking pictures of you.

The two of you left your shoes by the rocks so they wouldn't get taken by the ocean and walked hand in hand along the shoreline. Stopping right where the sun was setting and just lean on each other, enjoying the moment, until you noticed your shoes were getting taken by the ocean. You immediately rushed to get your shoes; forgetting that you couldn't really swim that well.

Eventually, Yanjun caught up with you and held you back, reminding you that you couldn't quite swim. Chuckling, he took off his jacket and handed it to you before going towards the ocean to get your shoes.

"Jun...be careful!!" you exclaimed

"I'll be fine (Y/N). You should be careful. I wouldn't want you to get wet and sick later on" Yanjun reminded you

"Hmm. OH!! You got it!! Thank you so much!!" you giggled, jumping a bit

"Hey, hey, be careful!!" Yanjun reminded as you jumped to hug him

"You know, you're similar to the ocean. You're as cool, calm and collective when you need to but the same time you're there whenever people needs you just like how humans need water. You also help people calm down when they feel frustrated. You make me feel safe. You make me relax when I feel nervous" you blurted, hugging Yanjun tightly as you inhaled his scent

"(Y/N)..." Yanjun muttered

"Which makes me confused why would you choose a child-like, hard-headed, weirdo..." you mumbled, but Yanjun shut you up by pecking your lips

"Because, isn't that how magnet works? Opposites attract each other. Though I'd say that we are quite similar in the hard-headed side but at least we're willing to tone that down. But for reals, while I make you calm, you make me excited. You burst me up. You're like a happy pill and I'm addicted to you. Now, let's head back, mom and dad made hotpot for dinner. C'mon, I'll carry you whilst you just hold onto our shoes" Yanjun chuckled as you went on his back, leaning on him whilst talking about where you guys should have a date next

Zhu Zhengting

For mama Ting, I imagine that you have this upcoming show which was your first live stage show. And while you were just a backup dancer, you were still one of the best dancers in Yuehua despite only being hired for a couple of months.

You were so excited and can't wait since you've been practicing very hard the past few days, along with helping Zhengting since he asked you to be his dancing partner for his new mv that's coming out in a month. Speaking of Zhengting, it was him that actually recommended you to Yuehua and him that got you hired in the first place.

Anywho, it was finally showtime and you had just finished getting ready with the rest of the backup dancers. And ofc, you, along with the other backup dancers helped kill the show that the crowd was cheering loudly.

After the show was over, you all took pictures with the artist and a few individual pictures before the stage manager called it a wrap. You then went to go get changed when Zhengting texted you, asking to meet up in the dance practice room you guys normally used.

You told him that you just finished changing and will be there in 10 minutes. Upon arriving, you looked around to find Zhengting and was shocked when he softly called you out whilst holding a boquet of flowers.

"Ting? What's all this? Are you gonna meet up with someone?" you questioned, tilting your head slightly "This is for you!! Congratulations on your first live stage performance!!" Zhengting mentioned, handing you the flowers

"Ahhh, isn't this a bit too much? I was just a backup dancer anyways..." you muttered, looking down at the flowers, avoiding Zhengting's gaze

"Well, you won't be for long. I want you to dance with me, live. Roughly a month or two after the mv comes out. If you don't mind that is" Zhengting asked, scratching his head

"Wh, what? Are you serious?! Like legit? Not joking?! Cause if you're serious then ofc I would love to!!" you exclaimed

"Re-really?! Oh I feel so relieved. I was afraid you'd reject me. I mean my offer. I uhhhh...." Zhengting stuttered

"Relax. I'd never reject your offer. Or even you, Ting. You helped me get this far. Plus, I think I'd be the one to worry if you'd reject me..." you mumbled, fiddling with your fingers

"What?! No, why would I ever reject you, (Y/N). You're pretty, smart, talented, kind. You're an amazing person. If you don't believe me then let's go have dinner, I know you must be starving, c'mon, my treat!!" Zhengting mentioned, grabbing you and dashing off to eat hotpot

Wang Ziyi

For Ziyi, I imagine that you guys were spending the day to the amusement park that was near the beach as well. So, the plan was for you both to go to the amusement park as soon as it opens and ride as much rides as possible before 4pm then head to the beach and jusy chill till dinner time.

You were so excited since it's been so long since you went to an amusement park and beach. Now, the reasoning why you chose this specific amusement park wasn't just because it was right beside the beach. But also where you and Ziyi got to actually know each other.

Let's rewind a bit shall we

So, you guys were high school friends and one time your squad wanted to go to the amusement park so ofc, you joined in. But what you didn't know was that Ziyi (the school's best basketball player) and his squad were also joining (mainly because 2 of his friends and 2 of yours were dating).

Anyways, the whole day wasn't that bad until sometime before you all decided to leave for the beach, your friends sorta ditched you; even when you tried to text/call them. Now, you were left right by the food stands, sitting on one of the benches whilst waiting for any news you get from your friends.

But it wasn't just you that was "ditched" by your friends. Because not long after, Ziyi came and sat beside you, asking if you were also "ditched" by your friends to which you chuckled, telling him that they must've went on other rides. But you were actually grateful that they did. Because now, you were Ziyi's close friend.

To present time

After riding on several rides, you guys went to have lunch at the nearby food court before going back and playing the rides up until it was almost sundown.

Realising what time it was, you asked Ziyi if there were anymore rides he wanted to go on which he shook his head and instead, asked you if you wanted to go on anymore rides. To which you also shook your head. Ziyi then asked if you wanted to go to the beach which u instantly nodded.

But as you guys were walking, you saw a small food stand, selling one of your favourite snacks to the point you instantly rushed over to the food stall and grab some food, nudging Ziyi to hurry and come choose what he wants.

"Ziyi!! Hurry up!! Choose which one you want!!" you called out

"I'm coming (Y/N), don't buy too much things. We need room for dinner" Ziyi chuckled, rushing to your side

"I will always have room for dinner!! Food is life!!" you exclaimed, as you choose your snacks while Ziyi looked at you and chuckled

Xiao Gui

For Xiaogui, let's say that you guys have been friends since young and he would always be there for you since he's always so hyper while you were so shy in making friends.

Throughout your school life till high school, Xiao gui has always been there to help you make new friends and study (ocassionally). Not to mention, you were the one to come up with his nickname, Xiao Gui. But unfortunately he had to leave to join idol producer. But that never stopped you guys from sending each other letters/text (when he got his phone).

Time skip to your university graduation

While Xiao gui was busy with his idol life since he debutted in 9%, you were busy with school and now, after so long, you were finishing your degree.

After the ceremony and getting your actual degree, you and your friends were heading to take pictures. But as you were taking pictures, your friends told you to stay there for a bit whilst they go grab a quick drink.

But as your friends left, you saw a familiar figure, holding a boquet of flowers, heading your way. As they got closer, you realised that it was actually Xiao Gui.

"G-gui? Is that you? What are you doing here? Don't you have an event or something to attend?" you asked in shock

"Of course I do. It's your graduation. You didn't think I'd miss this out now did you? Look at you, dressed up like this. Last time I saw you all dressed up was...." Xiao gui commented

"The day you debutted with the other 8 as 9%" you replied, giggling at the memory

"Yea. You were with me since the beginning even until I debut and now. I'm sorry I couldn't have come sooner but here, happy graduation (Y/N)" Xiao Gui muttered, handing you the flowers

"Th-thank you, Gui. How bout we catch up over dinner?" you mumbled

"Of course, then we can go get dessert at your favourite place!!" Xiao Gui exclaimed, holding your hand as he slowly pulled you with him

"I miss you so much, Linkai" you admitted

"I miss you too (Y/N)" Xiaogui replied, a big grin formed on his face

You Zhangjing

Tbh Zhangjing's one is quite hard but I tried my best :"

Alright, for Zhangjing, I imagine that he asked you to join him to shoot for his new mv which of course you quickly agreed, not thinking twice on where, when and what is it.

You can say that it was somewhat of a mistake since the mv is a more romantic one than his previous mv(s). Not only that, on the day of the actual shoot, you were stunned on how good Zhangjing looked since he mostly wore a baggy T-shirt with sweatpants.

But this time, he dressed up so good that your mind can't comprehend. Even when it was time to shoot, your mind wondered off elsewhere until Zhangjing actually called out to you.

Thankfully, throughout the entire shoot, there were minimal errors and you didn't have to reshoot so much. And it was the final shot where both you and Zhangjing were hand in hand walking together.

Right as the camera was rolling, you were a bit distracted by the scenery of the place you were shooting that Zhangjing had to call you several times which makes you shock but Zhangjing just chuckled and extended his hand out to you which you shyly took, and as Zhangjing faced the other side, you couldn't help but blush to see this amazing view.

"(Y/N)?" Zhangjing called out

"Hmmm??? Oh sorry, the scenery was so pretty that I couldn't help but get distracted" you admitted

"It's alright, c'mon, let's just enjoy the view then" Zhangjing mentioned, extending his hand

"Hmmm. It's nice, we should go out more often" you mumbled, taking Zhangjing's hand then facing off to the scenery together

.

.

.

Once again, happy late 3rd year anniversary Ninepercent!! I wish you nothing but the best and may you always be happy 💕💕

[stonertransdad]

Life Update since I hadn't been on here in forever

The pandemic was/is wild! Lockdowns started literally around the time we were going to the fertility specialist to get her pregnant. I lost my job to COVID in March shortly before we did the procedure, but we decided there's never really a good time to have a kid. Why not during a global pandemic when one of us in unemployed? (BTW, I don't recommend having a kid during a pandemic. Not being able to go to all of the appointments and having to sit in the parking lot was brutal.)

Let's talk about May friends...it was rough. (TW for mention of suicide btw. I'll post a gif where it's safe to start again if you wanna skip over it.)

So May 1st is the anniversary of my father's suicide. It had been 4 years. I found his body and since he wasn't married, I had to handle his affairs and arrange his funeral. May 1st, 2020 my wife and I had a Zoom game night with our friends and I got drunk because everyone was drinking (except my wife because she was pregnant). After our game night at like 2am, I had a psychotic break. I threatened to kill myself numerous times. My wife tried to talk me down, but eventually called the cops to take me. I thank her for that because looking back, that was the moment I knew something needed to change. I was convinced the cops were gonna kill me because I'm a trans dude in rural West Texas. I legit took the phone out of my wife's hand, hung up on 911, and yeeted her phone across the backyard and tried to hop the fence. Eventually the cops came and talked me down. They took me to the hospital an hour away in handcuffs (for their protection I did nothing wrong). They took me to the religious hospital that I was born in. So when they looked up my info by my name and date of birth from my driver's license (I only changed my middle name) literally all my paperwork and my bracelet had my deadname and wrong gender despite all of my legal stuff saying male with my new middle name. I mentioned it to them and they didn't care. They misgendered me the entire time I was there. I had hit my head hella hard on the bath tub when my wife was trying to snap me out of it, did the hospital even check me for concussion? Nope. I had punched so many things and my hand and wrist were swollen and discolored. Did they check out my hand and wrist? Nope. I was there for over 10 hours before I was able to convince them I was okay and that it was just the alcohol. Did I mention during that 10 hours I was literally out in the hall on a gurney with no mask and this was when COVID was running rampant in Texas (the first time)? I heard people die that night. I had nothing to distract me because they took away all of my personal items and clothes. My wife picked me up and we went home and I have been sober ever since. It's not the first psychotic break I've had with alcohol in my system. Alcohol just doesn't agree with me, but I'm finding new things to replace it with.

TW has been lifted...it's safe now.

A couple of weeks after that I began teletherapy because I had been on the same mood stabilizer and anti-depressant for almost a decade. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense that I felt like it hadn't been working for at least a year. This is a reminder to check in with your doctor if you feel like your meds aren't working. You may just need a different dose or a new med. There's no shame in that. I bounced around on various medications trying to find the right combo, some side effects scarier than others, but we got there. Before this, I had been diagnosed with ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My therapist threw out my Borderline diagnosis and said it was CPTSD instead, which made sense.

Fast forward to December because my wife was pregnant, I was unemployed still, and we did absolutely fuck-all because the global panini was still raging.

Our son was born on December 3, 2020. He weighed 5lbs 9oz and scared the ever loving shit out of us. He wasn't breathing when he was born so they called NICU in ASAP. I'm freaking out because I can hear and see what's going on while my wife was asking if he was okay as they put her guts back in place to sew her up. 5 or so minutes pass and a nurse asks if I want her to take some pictures. I'm like is he okay, he still hasn't cried. She's like "oh yeah, he's chillin." This goon was being held by a nurse and was just looking around not crying or anything. Chillest baby ever (he still is btw). I held him next to my wife's head until it was time to go back to the room. Little dude did have to spend 4 nights in the NICU because he couldn't keep his sugars or temperature regulated, but he was healthy otherwise. He's now 4 months old and is starting to sit up on his own a little bit and he's OBSESSED with standing. He's still a little guy, but very healthy and growing like a weed. He saves my life daily.

So after being unemployed for over 9 months, I started a new job working in a call center. I absolutely hate talking on the phone. It gives me anxiety and throws me into panic attacks, but I had been putting out hundreds of job applications since I lost my last job and this was the first offer I got. I wasn't really in a position to turn it down since my unemployment had ran out 2 months prior. It was 2 months of training, then we'd be on our own. I got thru the training and thought I could handle it...until they started putting us on live calls with someone helping us if we got stuck. My mental health hit the lowest point it had in a few years and my wife was terrified she was going to lose me. She convinced me to quit on February 28th (not because I didn't want to, but because I'm a stubborn ass who felt guilty). My meds got tweaked a little bit more dosage wise during this mess.

Starting about mid-February, I was experiencing severe shakiness, tremors, and spasms. I've always been a shaky person and never really thought too much about it, but at some points I could barely feed myself, or get a drink, or hold my son. On March 7th, I tried to make an appointment with my doctor about the weird symptoms I was experiencing, but she was out of town and her next opening wasn't until the 31st. My body said that won't work and my wife rushed me to the ER on the 9th...I had begun having seizures that day. I had no previous history of seizures. Got to the ER and had a seizure literally as I was walking thru the door, so they rushed me straight back. They took some blood and that was literally it. No MRI. No CT. They pumped me full of Ativan and said it was just a panic attack and to go home and chill.

Spoiler Alert: It wasn't just anxiety. I was having 20+ seizures a day. On the 10th, my wife rushed me to a different hospital...the good hospital over an hour away. First we had to drop off our gremlin with my mom to make things a little easier. Yet again, I had a seizure as I walked in the door and was taken back immediately. I don't really remember much because they kept pumping me full of Ativan and morphine because I had been in excruciating pain from the number of seizures I'd had. I do remember them doing a CT pretty quickly after I got there. Then they weren't happy with the results of the CT, so they took me to get an MRI, which showed possible signs of Multiple Sclerosis (but I didn't find that out until AFTER the notes showed up in my patient portal after being home a few days, so I raised hell...more on that later.) They did a 24 hour EEG on me and it showed nothing abnormal. Also, EEG glue is a bitch on your hair and scalp. After looking at everything and given my previous mental health history, they diagnosed me with Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures, or PNES. It is a subset of Functional Neurologic Disorder, or FND. I couldn't walk well anymore and had to use a walker when I was discharged. I was in the hospital for 3 days.

When I had my follow-up appointment on the 23rd, I asked why the possibility of MS was never mentioned to me since it was very clearly in the notes. The doctor didn't have an explanation. He called in a referral to neurology so I could get a 2nd MRI to confirm MS and marked it as high priority. He also didn't take my pain seriously. My pain levels had been at a 5 or higher every single minute since they took me off of the morphine in the hospital. He told me to keep taking prescription strength doses of ibuprofen and Tylenol, which I had been. I let him know I had been and it didn't even take the edge off the pain. He ignored me. Leading up to this appointment, I had also added urinary incontinence to my growing list of symptoms and was forced to wear diapers so I didn't have to do laundry all the time. The doctor also took me off my ADHD meds because they were lowering my seizure threshold. He also took me off of my sleeping meds and nightmare meds for the same reason I'm assuming.

I kept my appointment on the 31st with my primary doctor because she's been my doctor for 5 years now and I knew she'd take my pain seriously. She did. She immediately wrote me prescriptions for a muscle relaxer and Tylenol 4. She also told me that my referral had been rejected by neuro. She said my case wasn't a good one for what she called a "wallet biopsy" and the doctors in neurology could be real assholes. She immediately sent the referral to other locations to get an approval. I am still waiting on that despite it being marked as high priority. She wrote me a prescription for a wheelchair because we both agreed my wheelchair was not enough for particular days.

Yesterday my wheelchair was finally ready for pickup, so my wife drove me to go get it. I'm still unable to drive due to my seizures and my tremors and twitches as it's predominantly in my legs and arms. I am an ambulatory wheelchair user now. Some days I can go short distances without my walker, some days I can't go without my walker, some days I can't even get out of bed, and some days I will be using my wheelchair. Don't judge a book by its cover, not all disabilities are visible. I have managed to keep my daily seizure count down in single digits and have even had a few seizure free days. They are still incredibly taxing on my body. I feel like I can't ever replenish my spoons fast enough to keep up with anything in my life.

So all in all, life has been chaotic. We are moving from Texas to New Mexico in the next few weeks, which should be interesting considering I can't overdo it without throwing myself into seizures. We will be closer to my mother-in-law so she can help us with our son and I can start resting a bit more on the more difficult days. Being a stay-at-home dad with an invisible illness has been one of the most challenging things I've done in my life, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to update my followers since it's been over a year since I posted before a few days ago.

[alexhogh7137]

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Thirty-Five Part One

Chapter Thirty-Five Part Two: The Seige of Wessex England

Word Count 4.9k

Warnings: mentions of blood and death, angst

The Morning Of~

Ivar did not sleep well, he figures that he only got two hours of sleep. But still, his head is in the right place and he is more than prepared to give you the justice today that you so rightfully deserve. Is he concerned, yes. Is there a possibility that they could be going into a trap, yes. Is he worried for your safety, most definitely. Nonetheless, today must be done for the wellbeing of all of your futures. A future cannot be guaranteed until your father's head is on a spike. So there he is, in bed with you tangled up in his limbs. He is focusing on every perfections and imperfections of you. Oh how he loves you. 

You begin to toss and turn while he massages yours skin with his fingertips. His rough yet soft skin gives you the best chills of satisfaction. You begin to hum, making Ivar smirk proudly.

Ivar "Princess.." he whispered.

"Hmm?"

Ivar "We have to get out of bed." The way he was touching you, made you forget completely that today was the day of the siege. And your stomach began to turn into knots almost instantly at the thought of seeing your father. So you rise up from your place in Ivar's arms and plant your head in your palms. The warm fur blankets cover your bare chest but your back is fully exposed to your husband. So he takes it upon himself to rub your back for you. 

Ivar "I know babe.."

"I completely forgot. How could I forget, it's my battle?"

Ivar "Your mind blocked out the thought. It is not a bad thing, my love." You sigh, "But we have to get out of bed."

"Yeah..yes of course." You begin to move but Ivar grabs your arm closest to him and pulls you to him. He rises from his pillow and grabs your cheeks to kiss your lips for a good moment. His kiss is like heaven on earth. 

"I don't want that to be our last kis-"

Ivar "Hey, do not think such a thing. Do you understand me?" You nod with tears in your eyes, "We will live to see another day, my love. Alright? Do not worry."

You sniffle, "Do you wish to hear something crazy?"

Ivar "What type of crazy, hmm?"

"I am officially 4 months.."

Ivar smiles, "That is...wonderful my love."

"I should start to feel her move..even kick!"

Ivar "Oh my sweet, that is wonderful news."

"I can't wait to feel her little feet. She has grown so much over the last few days."

Ivar "She certainly has, our little warrior." You lean into Ivar's side as he holds you and your belly. This moment is special for multiple reasons: today marks not only your strong will to overthrow your father but it is also the day that starts the next chapter of your pregnancy, Ivar is getting to share this moment with you and you feel so lucky to be his wife. 

"I love you, Ivar Lothbrok."

Ivar "And I love you Y/L." Soon after, Ivar got out of bed and got his armor on and left yours and his chamber room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next one to come in while you are getting your armor on is Hvitserk. Ivar wanted the armor to be underneath your black dress, that way you are even more protected. When you see Hvitserk, he looks like he has been crying all night long.

Hvitserk "Hey." His voice is rough and coarse. You find yourself not being able to speak, due to your throat burning and the tears that fill up in your eyelids. He notices your sudden change in behavior and walks up to you and just holds you firmly in his arms. 

"I am so scared, Hvitserk."

Hvitserk "I know, I know."

"I can-can't lose you..I can't lose any of you!" You start hyperventilating.

Hvitserk "Hey, hey, Y/n..you have to breathe, c'mon..breathe in...and out. In...and out." You do as he tells you and your breathing begins to steady itself. "Good. Now you listen to me, I have a reason to fight. I have a reason to live. So what I need you to do, is fight with everything that you have and live..do you hear me?" You nod, "Because you are what is keeping me alive..you and our daughter. So I need you to stay strong and turn your fear into power. I know how strong you are, and I know how powerful you are. So do not let him win, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Hvitserk "I love you, do you hear me?"

"I love you Hvitserk." He leans down and kisses your lips quickly, before your maidens came back in to help you further with your armor.

"My queen, we must finish."

"Y-yes of course." You say as you wipe away your tears and pick your head back up. 

Hvitserk "I'll leave you be to get finished, and hey, you make her as safe as possible, y'here?"

"Of course. That is my duty." He nods and walks out the door. You try to pound into your head everything you can possibly think of that will power you, give you the strength you need to face your father. 

"I am going to place an extra layer of armor over your belly, my queen."

"Hmm? Oh thank you sweetheart. That is kind of you." She nods as she places an extra layer. You have to admit, it feels good to be wearing armor again. It makes you feel a sense of dignity and honor to be a warrior and a queen. 

When you walk out of your chambers, there is no one in your home. Everyone is out, preparing to leave Kattegat and head to Wessex. You are almost proud to see your people come together and fight for you and for your justice. That is, until Rollo comes into the house.

Rollo "Ah, my queen!"

"Hello Rollo."

Rollo "I must say, you look incredible but where is your armor? Are you-"

"Yes, I am fighting. Ivar insisted on the armor being inside of my clothing for more protection."

Rollo "Huh..I have never heard of such a thing."

"I think it is brilliant. Now shouldn't you be with your men, Rollo?"

Rollo "My men are all in order, my queen."

"Good, that is good isn't it?"

Rollo "Oh yes."

"And my husband is.."

Rollo "With his brother's."

"...and where are his brothers?"

Rollo "By the tents...by the ships." You nod and walk away from him. He really gets under your skin, not as much as your father used too, but deep enough to enrage you fairly quickly. "Oh and my queen!" You stop just a few inches out of the door, "May the gods be with you." You smirked and left the house. You do not know if he meant that as an insult or if he was sincere. No matter, you know that the gods are with you and your people. You can feel their strong presence. 

…

You look around and find Ubbe with Torvi at first. She is holding little Ragnar in her arms as her daughter clings to Ubbe's hip. She must be so worried for her father's return to Kattegat. 

Torvi "When are you leaving?"

Ubbe "As soon as we can. I promise to make it back to you and the children."

Torvi nods, "I love you." 

Ubbe "So much." He kissed her and watched her walk away, finding you walking towards them. Torvi stops in her tracks when she spots you. You can tell that she is holding back tears as you get closer and closer to your dearest friend.

Torvi "Oh my queen."

"You don't have to call me that-"

Torvi "Oh but I do..uhh." she sighs.

"What."

Torvi sniffled and bursted into tears, "You should not have to fight as pregnant as you are..!" You walk closer to her and cup her cheeks.

"I am not fighting at nine months, Torvi. I have to fight my own battle.."

Torvi nods, "I know. I am so very proud of you Y/n. You are a strong and courageous women and shield maiden. I am so lucky to call you my friend." You cry then and pull her into your arms for a warm embrace. Little Ragnar starts to cry, from seeing his mother so sad you can imagine. 

Torvi "Oh shh shh-"

"Go on, go inside and get your kids warm. I will see you tonight."

Torvi "I better."

"You will, I love you."

Torvi "I love you back-"

"Are you fighting!?" Her daughter screamed as she grabbed my hand. You kneel down and get down to her level so that you can look at her fully as you speak to the little girl.

"Why yes I am."

"Why!? You are queen!" She stammered.

"And that is why I am fighting. A queen has many duties, little one. And one of those duties is to fight alongside the king."

"Will you be back?" Ubbe has joined his wife's side and listens to his daughter's cries and fears.

"Of course I will. I would not want to leave Kattegat without a queen."

"You are the best one.."

"I'm sorry?"

"Best queen...ma'am." You look up at Ubbe who is fighting back tears of his own. 

"Thank you, beautiful. You make me so proud to be your queen. Now go on, go with your mother and get warm." Torvi takes her hand and leads her to the house as Ubbe pulls you in his arms. 

Ubbe grunts, "I have never felt less Viking before in my entire life.."

"Why do you say that?"

Ubbe snickers, "Because I have never cried as much as I have been since the death of my parents, princess." You listen, "I want you to know that I am so happy to be your brother...even though it is not by blood, I am still your brother and I will always protect you."

"Thank you Ubbe, that means so much to me." He nods and leads you towards Ivar and Hvitserk, who are sitting on a stump, sharpening their swords.

Ivar "There you are." 

"How is our army?"

Ivar "They are ready, my love. We were all just waiting for you."

Hvitserk "Should we all..um..take a moment before we head out?"

Ivar "What are you talking about?"

Hvitserk "I mean a moment of us all being together..we are going to be separated on the field-"

Ubbe "Yes," he clears his throat, "that sounds like a good idea brother." Ivar pulls you into his side, Hvitserk next to you and Ubbe next to Ivar, then you all stand together and have a moment of silence before the chaos. The calm before the storm, some might say.

Ivar "I uhm, I know I've never said it to you..my brother's. But I love you, believe it or not, I do. And I am sorry for not saying it enough or at all before now but just know that I do.."

Ubbe takes his shoulder and places his head upon his, "And we love you, little brother." Hvitserk kisses your hair before grabbing his sword and walking aboard one of the ships. Ubbe swiftly does the same and then Ivar looks at you for a second before connecting his lips to yours.

Ivar "I love you."

"I love you."

Ivar "Forever."

"And always. I will be flying above you.."

Ivar "Good, go on." You walk towards your three beasts and get upon Ryuu. Ivar does not command the ships to leave until he sees Ryuu begin to fly. As soon as him and his army, along with Rollo and his army, started sailing, his fury began and all he saw was red. That bastard king of England's reign will come to an end on this day, Ivar will make certain of that.

...

As you fly above your husband's ship, you see how large your army is in full perspective. You can't help but look at everyone and smile in absolute disbelief that this battle can be won. Then you look up at the sky and through the clouds and whisper to yourself, "I'm going to make you proud mother, I promise. Be with me. Be with me. Be with me." Neith looks over at you as she flies parallel to you. She talks to you with her eyes and says, 'she is mother, she is with us always.'

"Yes she is, baby. Now..let's go avenge her!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mid-day~

When your home comes into view, your expectations were that you would tremble with fear, that you would want to call off this attack. But no, your first thought is to burn it all to the ground. Leave no one alive. See the kingdom of Wessex be nothing but a pile of ash. Maybe that is what you will do, if you feel like it is necessary.

When Ivar see's the kingdom, he asks himself, 'where are you hiding?' He searches every corner that he can get his eyes on but he sees no one. Not even a civilian, why?

Hvitserk "Where is-"

Ivar "I don't know."

Ubbe "We could be going into a trap, brothers…"

Ivar clenches his jaw, "If so, we will push right through them. If anyone dies today, it is the bastard who calls himself king." Ivar ends up commanding Rollo to go ahead of them in case it is indeed a trap, he does not want his warriors to get the blunt of the attack. You make your dragons hover above your warriors ships to wait it out. And that is something caught your eye: two large slingshots being pulled close to the gates. 

"Ivar!" He looks up at you, "Now!" He looks at you for a second longer and then looks forward and sees an army coming out of every entrance. 

Ivar "Forward!" You didn't take a moment to think before you fly towards the enemy. You didn't have to command your dragons to fire at the weaponry that your father was attempting to fire, they did it themselves.

You have taught them well. As your dragon's burn every inch of the ground, along with some warriors, you search the castle's borders in search of your best friend. That is until you hear the screams of two thousand warriors, drawing their swords for a war that they would not win. Ivar's mind is scattered. He sees his uncle's warriors getting slaughtered at the entrance, his wife in the air, and his brother's killing warriors who have reached the boat.

He makes a quick decision to get him and his men off of the ships and onto land: that way, they are stable enough to kill the way that they have been trained. You see your husband and his brother's get off the ship and onto the land. All at the same time you see your father holding onto your best friend by her throat. You witness too many things all at once, first it makes you terrified,

but then it enrages you and all you see is red and fire. You command Ryuu to fire your father's surroundings but leave him and your friend unscathed. 

"My daughter!! Welcome home!!" He hollered from the ground. 

"Let her go!"

"Why would I do such a thing? How could I be so clumsy? She betrayed me!"

"And you betrayed your daughter! All of those years of torment, when all you had to do was be a loving father..a loving king!"

"It is better to be feared than loved Y/n!"

Thyra "Long live the queen!" And before you could speak, he took out his sword and slit your best friend's throat right before your eyes. You scream out in pain as you watch her fall to the ground, choking on her own blood before she soon joins Valhalla. Eldr flies down to the ground, takes your father in his mouth and flings him over the castle. If he survives the fall and the puncture wounds from your son's teeth, then you will get the chance to make him suffer for everything he has put you through. Your friend's death sealed his fate. He will suffer an agonizing death. Ivar hears your screams, he hears your whimpers but he does not know why you are screaming. There is a hill blocking his view of what you are hovering over. His mind races and makes the decision to wall his way over to you. White Hair stays close to Ivar, killing everyone that comes in contact with Ivar. But you see, Ivar is a king and he knows how to fight. He knows how to kill in one strike, and he does just that. 

Ryuu lands and you get off of him, walking towards your friend's body. You hold her head in your lap and mourn her for what feels like hours. And repeat aloud, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I am so sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't save you!" You feel a hand over your shoulder and you quickly take out your dagger to strike the man who has a hold of you, but before you pierce his skin, you realize it is not the enemy, it is your husband. 

Ivar "My love, it's me hey..it's me!" You drop your dagger and fall into your husband's lap. He holds you for a moment before White Hair tells you that you have to move to somewhere safe. 

Ivar "In the castle, go!" Once you are inside, you fall to the floor in grief. "You couldn't save her, my love."

"I promised her, Ivar. When we were kids, I promised her that I would always protect her!" You said out of breath.

Ivar "And you did just that, Y/n. Up until now, you did protect her. It was her time to join the gods. There is nothing that could have stopped that."

"I want his head.on.a.spike." 

Ivar chuckles, "Oh his head will be displayed as a monument for the people of Wessex. I will make sure of that, now we must go out there and fight. Are you with me?"

"Always."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hvitserk is in his own zone. He is killing left and right. He feels like he is unstoppable. He has never killed so many men in all of his life. And that is being said when he has been in more battles than he can count with his fingers. But he has a mission, and that mission involves you. Therefore, he takes it very personally. 

Ubbe "Where is Ivar?" He yelled when he realized that he had lost him in the midst of battle.

Hvitserk "More importantly, where is the queen?!" Ubbe looks up and finds your dragon's circling over the castle, so he puts two and two together and figures that you have to be close by. 

Ubbe "The castle, let's go!"

They kill as they walk, not stopping for anything. They have to get to you, you have to be protected. When he finds you, you are fighting multiple men at once and so is Ivar. White Hair is battling his own men and he is struggling. 

Hvitserk "Help White Hair, I'll help Y/n!" He screamed. Ubbe does just that, helping White Hair off the bloodied ground and back on his feet. While Hvitserk butchers your warriors who would just not give up. Once they are dead, Ivar looks over at his brother and thanks him with his eyes. 

"Thyra is dead." 

Hvitserk "She-"

"My father killed her." You move your head and gesture for Hvitserk to look behind you, where her body still lays. Once he saw her, he apologizes for your loss. 

"He will die today, I am not leaving Wessex until I have him in my grasp."

Ubbe "WHERE IS THE KING?!" He hollered in a grizzley voice. You try to answer but a warrior comes up and knocks you to the ground with his shield. Everyone is caught off guard and your boys immediately kill and decapitate the warrior that knocked you off your feet. You fall so hard that you bump your head, and your vision goes blurry. You look around and make out your boys killing that warrior, but what they are doing is very unclear. You look up and see your dragon's fire down at the warriors who are attempting to burn down your ships. Dirt is being flung onto your face and your eyes struggle to stay open. 

When your eyes finally reopen, you see Hvitserk carrying you into the castle. When he places you down, you see Ivar dragging your father's body into the castle. Ubbe, Rollo, White Hair and Rollo's personal guard are at the door, blocking anyone from coming in. 

"How long was I out?"

Hvitserk "Long enough for Ivar to find the bastard and get him here."

Ivar "Honey, are you alright? Does anything hurt?"

"I'm going to have a little lump from the fall but I am alright. Is the battle over?"

Ivar smiles, "They have surrendered, my queen." Your emotions overflow in your head, making you cry out tears of joy and victory. That is until you see your father, clinging to life and bleeding on the marble floors of this kingdom. You get up and walk over to the man and kneel before him. 

"Look at me, old man." He does not, "LOOK AT ME!" He jolts and looks up at his daughter. "Just answer me one thing. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you kill Thyra? Wh-why her?"

He coughs up blood as he laughs, "She made me do it."

"All she did was be my friend. And all you did was kill an innocent woman."

"I .. I am sorry, little one."

"Sorry, SORRY?" You take out your dagger and hold it to his chest. "You are not sorry. You are NEVER sorry. You are only saying what I want you to hear..so I spare your life. Isn't that right dad?"

"I have given you life. HAVE I NOT? I have given you the gift of magical creatures. HAVE I NOT?!" You take a step back from him and begin to tremble. 

"You have given me those things father, that is true. But you have taken more things than you have given." He scuffs, "Do you not remember what you did to me as a child?"

"What thing's-"

"I was just a child," you choked on your tears, "I was just a little girl and you treated me like a grown woman!" Hvitserk holds onto the small of your back in attempts to comfort you. "I almost died, Father!"

"I wouldn't have let you died, stupid girl." He coughed, "You were far more valuable to me alive then dead." Ivar takes a few steps forward and lowers his torso so that he can look the man in the eyes. 

Ivar "You watch your mouth," he growled, "before I remove your tongue." He spat. 

"How does it feel to lose your kingdom to your daughter, hmm?" You said with your head held high. 

He snickers, "Who said that I didn't let you win, little one?" 

Ivar "My love, if you do not kill him, I will. I have had enough of his mouth."

"You think I am weak? You think I cannot kill him myself?"

Ivar "No, no not at all. I admire your strength. But allowing him to talk, allows him to slither his way back into your head." You know that he is right. So you pull your three men aside while Rollo and his men watch over the king. 

"I think that we should prolong his death. He is already dying. Eldr's teeth pierced through his armor. You can hear his breathing starting to fade-"

Hvitserk "What are you saying?"

"I am saying...I want his death to be as horrific and agonizing as possible, for what he did to me and my family."

Ivar "So what would you say we do?"

"Bring him back with us, place him in the cave that your guards put me in when I first arrived. Ivar, if we starve him, remove his clothing so he feels the bitterness of winter on his skin...his death will be long and painful. He will beg for mercy." 

Ubbe "He would beg for mercy.."

Hvitserk "And the cold will prolong his death. He will freeze from the inside if we do this."

Ivar "Good. And I will spend some quality time with my father-in-law..make sure he is enjoying his stay." He smirked. You know that Ivar meant that he would torture the man, and you love the sound of that. Sickening as it sounds for a daughter to say that about her father, if anyone deserves torture, its your father. "I am proud of you, my beautiful wife." He kisses your forehead before turning to White Hair. 

Ivar "Prepare a ship! He is coming with us."

"No! No, no! Just kill me, PLEASE! Y/n, please!" He pleaded.

"Oh don't worry father, you will. Just not how you would like. Or should I say, how you would demand to die." You lean down to your father once more, "You are going to love Kattegat father, especially where you will be staying. It is just like the dungeon you and king Harald placed me in to wither away and die. Take him!" He begged and pleaded, he even apologized multiple times before White Hair placed him in the boat. 

When you walk out of the doors, your best friend's body is still on the ground by the front entrance. 

"I will bring her with me as well. I wish to give her the proper burial."

Hvitserk "Which ship do you wish for her to be on, princess?"

"Not a ship. Neith will bring her home. Just help me get her up there..please." He nods. Him and Ubbe swiftly got her on Neith's back and she flew off into the horizon. When you get out of the castle with Ivar by your side, you hear your name being chanted. You look up at Ivar with a confused look on your face, but all he has on his face is a pure, soft smile. 

"They are thanking you, my love. You saved them from their ruler." Before you know it, the people of Wessex are before you and kneeling in praise. Among them, you spot Thyra's mother. Shs is bowing to you herself with just gratitude that it takes you aback. You walk towards her, take her hand in yours and beg for her to rise. 

"Thank you for saving this kingdom, my sweet girl."

"I..I don't know what to say. I couldn't save your daught-" 

"You have saved her life in more ways than one, Y/n. She loved you more than you could have ever known. Do not blame yourself for this tragedy. Because she was ready to move on to the next life." You burst into tears and she pulled you into a warm embrace as she cried with you. When she pulls back, she cups your cheeks and kisses your forehead. 

"Thank you for saving this kingdom."

"I um..my dragon is taking her back to Kattegat, that is my husband and I's kingdom..I wish to give her a proper burial. You are more than welcome to join us, I know that she would want for you to be there." She nods and smiles.

"I would like that very much. Thank you. Thank you so much." You nod and turn around and find your husband standing close by, talking to the people. You introduce her to Ivar and explain to him that she will be joining them for the ceremony. 

Ivar "You are more than welcome into our home miss-"

"Helga."

Ivar "Helga. Such a beautiful name."

Helga "Thank you kindly."

Ivar "This is my brother Ubbe, he will show you to our ships. We will join you shortly." 

Ubbe "This way." She nods and takes Ubbe's arm. When she walked off with him, Ivar took your hand and rubbed it softly. Your bodies are splattered with blood but neither of you care.

"I can't believe she thanked me even though she lost her daughter today.."

Ivar "She knows that even though she lost her daughter, she gained a safe kingdom today."

"But who is to rule? My mother did not bare a son and I rule with you.."

Ivar "We will figure it out, my sweet. But right now, let's go home." You agreed and got into the ship with Ivar and Hvitserk while you let your two dragon's fly above. Today was a success. The kingdom of Wessex is technically under your rule. But you still have unfinished business to take care of. And that is your father. But sure enough, he will pay for what he has done and then you will finally be able to rest. 

Ivar "Come here, my love. Rest now. You have done your duty as queen and shield maiden. Close your eyes," you rest your head on his shoulder, "I've got you. We will wake you when we are home. I love you."

"Love you." You mumbled. You did not realize how exhausted you were until your adrenaline died down and you were in Ivar's arms. Hvitserk sits down in front of you two and breathed out in relief that the battle was won and that they were all together and heading back to Kattegat. 

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