#it's important for me to note we *supplemented* their food and made sure they got vitamins (liver) but we were not their primary food sourc

[bzedan]

I am being brave and trying new things (poetry) and sharing the result. The impetus is Storytelling Collective's April Daily Poem challenge, but I am using a a Carly Rae Jepsen song title generator instead of their prompts.

-

Shadow (04/02/24)

It feels like loss that the birds on the wires don't know how much I love them. But maybe it's for the best.

That depth of love is frightening to some who receive it I know I shy from the shadow of it. Though maybe I should be braver.

There were crows once who we fed and watered, and we watched them and they us.

We knew each other's schedules, we chased away each other's annoyances, we could tell them apart and so could they us.

I don't think they knew we loved them but they knew we cared.

And years later, both sides could yell

hello hello hello I see you again

[ID: A photo shot from the bottom of a set of worn wooden stairs leading from a second floor door outside. On the railing at the landing above, a crow perches, their tail hanging and pointed-up-beak making a lazy-z shape against the cloudy blue sky. End ID.]

[nerves-nebula]

Trigger warning for Donnie’s suicide note!

—

Leo finds out last.

She’s at the apartment, unloading the groceries she’d just gotten home from buying. They had a bit of excess food money this month, so she’d splurged and bought some special treats for herself and her brothers. She knew Mikey loved those gross sticky gummy candies, so she’d bought a huge family size pack of them just for him. Raph tended to forget to eat when he was in a hurry, so she’d picked up some meal supplement bars that she’d make sure to sneak into his backpack. Donnie, she’d spent some extra time thinking about. His texture issues made buying food for him harder, but she’d eventually settled on a box of water flavor packets that had some great nutritional stuff in it. Hopefully Donnie would like it, and if not she would just dare Raph to drink the packets raw.

She didn’t hear her phone ring from the table, too busy with her task. She couldn’t the stuff that needed to be refrigerated go bad.

As she finished she gave a twirl, feeling free in her new dress. Of all people, Casey had found it for her! It had tons of ruffles in the skirt that made it super poofy and felt so soft against her skin.

She took out the recycling while she was at it.

When she got back to the apartment it took her an extra ten minutes to remember where she’d put down her phone. When she finally found it anxiety spiked in her chest.

Fifteen missed calls.

Thirty-two texts from Mikey.

Ten texts from Raph.

Forty-six texts from April.

Seven texts from Casey.

One text from Donnie.

She opened the backlog.

Donathan💜👓: Hey, I left something on your bedside table. Grab it when you can, okay? Love you.

She frowned. The message was weird. She could count the number of times they’d texted “I love you” on one hand, and she only had three fingers! She made her way towards her room as she went and opened up the rest of the messages.

Sewer Bigfoot🏒: dude call raph

Sewer Bigfoot🏒: smthn bad happened with don

Sewer Bigfoot🏒: pls answer ur phone man

Sewer Bigfoot🏒: raph needs u 2 get all dons paperwork stuff

Sewer Bigfoot🏒: were at the hidden city main hospital

Sewer Bigfoot🏒: call when you can

Sewer Bigfoot🏒: im so sorry

Alright, now she was getting scared. She got to her room and immediately found what Donnie had left. A piece of paper, folded in perfect thirds. She had bought him this cardstock for Christmas. He only used it for things he thought were of the utmost importance.

“Leonardo,

I want to apologize to you. We made a promise to each other, a goofy promise, but a promise nonetheless. I’m going to break that promise.

I’m really proud of how you’ve grown. You’ve become one of my favorite people in the world, despite everything. You are strong and brave and you’ve learned how to love with your whole heart. I know you’ll grow and do amazing things.

Mikey and Raph have grown, too. Mikey’s art is going to take off in the Hidden City, I just know it, and Raph has the potential to do anything he sets his mind to. Gosh, I sound like I kindergarten teacher, but it’s true. I couldn’t be more proud of my family.

But I’m holding you back. I haven’t grown. If anything, I’m regressing. I can’t see a future for me where I do anything but hurt or hinder you, and I never want to do that. I want you to be free to live without the restraint of caring for a useless burden of a brother.

So I’m taking myself out of the equation.

I know it’s unfair of me to ask you to understand my reasoning. I know its unfair to ask you not to be sad or to not grieve.

I just hope one day you’ll understand.

Please don’t follow me.

Your brother always,

Donatello.”

Leo called Raph.

——

Yay! If you like it I’ll write everyone else’s perspectives, too.

-Monster Anon

*in tears* UM. OW???? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE MANIACALLY CACKLING WHILE THROWING ANGST AT YOU GUYS??? WhaT thE Hell??

anyway I was thinking of how donnie would try to kill himself and I thought of him and his brothers joking around and Leo being like "Remember when you got so upset you turned yourself into a monster for like a week??" and Donnie laughing and saying "Yeah, b-b-but in my defense I've l-learned from my p-past! I only drink p-poison when I know ex-exactly what it'll do!" and they all laugh and Donnie is just sitting there like: They Dont Know I'm Going To Mystically Poison Myself :)

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Killing Cure (Part 6)

Sleep takes her regardless of whether or not she welcomes it and her waking comes as a very unpleasant surprise. She is only tolerant of her awakening as far as her daughters go, even then she is  no more able to protect them than her rotting corpse could.

“Mother?” Cassandra murmurs sleepily.

Alcina weakly strokes her hair, “I’m still...here dear.” She isn’t sure for how long. She needs to get up but her body ails her unceasingly and without mercy. She tries to stand, her muscles are all so weak and the pain in her abdomen is still so sharp. She gets to her feet anyhow, she is going to have to endure. Endure until her last breath.

“Lay back down mother.” Cassandra mumbles.

Alcina shakes her head. “I have to do things for myself.” She makes her way across the room, somehow she has to make herself useful. She loathes to think of what Hiesenberg will say to her when he sees her again, the mockery and the endless taunting. And she would deserve it getting bested like that by a human man.

She braces herself against the wall.

“Don’t hurt yourself, mother.” Cassandra frowns.

“Where are your sisters?”

“Daniela thought that it would be nice to make you some new dresses. Bela is better at sewing though.”

“When did Bela learn…?”

“She watched the maiden do it before we turned her into fine wine!” Cassandra replies joyfully.  

Alcina chuckles. It is the first prickle of genuine humor she has had in a while. At the very least it is the first moment that the pain had subsided even just a little. She attempts to heave herself away from the wall and stand on her own. It is still dizzying to look upon her furniture from this vantage point. It is one thing to get adjusted to it from the semi-comforts of her mattress and another thing entirely to walk by the towering room decor.

She inhales deeply--at least she doesn’t have to put thought into breathing anymore. And she takes her first few steps, slow and meek. Cassandra holds out her hand and Alcina takes it, privately pretending that she has done so for the girl’s comfort and not her own.

“Where are we going, mother?”

“Let’s check on your sisters and perhaps I can find myself something to eat…”

.oOo.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Ethan shouts. Lady Dimitrescu is not tucked safely into her bed when he arrives in her bedroom. He runs his hands through his hair, he can’t imagine that she could get very far.

Most likely, she is somewhere in the castle, lurking as she always had. But what if she has gotten herself further hurt than she is already? He imagines that she is the exact sort of woman who would push herself well beyond her limits just to prove something to herself, to impress an audience that isn’t even in attendance.

Or maybe she has assumed that he wasn’t coming back for her. Maybe she has left the castle in search of something to fix her up. But she wouldn’t leave those little demon flies, would she? He rubs his hands over his face and curses again.

He tells himself that he is only frustrated that he had gone all of that way and endured all of the Duke’s chatter and taunting for nothing.

“Got yourself in a really tight situation this time, didn’t you, Mr. Winters?” He’d chuckled. A fool he was to think that that would be the end of the Duke’s commentary.

“I thought up an assortment of scenarios about you and Lady Dimitrescu but this one never crossed my mind…” He had trailed off. “A small human. You might have four daughters to take care of now.”

“Absolutely not, Duke. She’s ill, not a child.”

The Duke had chuckled. “You’ve never overheard one of their family meetings, boy! The woman can cavil and grouse like the most petulant teenagers I’ve come across.” He took a swig of ale. “And that Hiesenberg, what a mouth that one has!”

“Duke…”

“Just how small is she now? I’ve heard hearsay that she was a tiny thing.”

“She’s...she’s small. Yeah.”

At that he had given his heartiest, most bellowing laugh yet. “Oh! What a treat. You’ll have to bring your new missus by when she’s all healed up!”

“She’s not...she won’t be...just sell me my goods, Duke!” He had waved the coins at him. Even a bribe--double the usual charge--hadn’t been able to deter him from his jesting. And so he’d resigned himself to several hours of jokes, gossip, and idle conversation. None of it of any particular importance. And now Dimitrescu is gone.

“Son of a fuck!” He shouts, noting that Heisenberg would probably appreciate that one. He slams his fists against her nightstand, knocking a glass to the floor. It shatters at his feet.

“Haven’t you ruined enough, Winters?” The woman, looking more thoroughly exhausted than before, stands in the doorway pinching her nose.

“I’m sure that you have a lot more glasses.”

“It’s the sentiment, Winters.” She, accompanied and assisted by her daughters, finds her way back to her bed. She falls heavily upon the mattress and just about curls in on herself.  “What kept you?”

“Have you talked to the Duke?” He groans.

The look on her face and that deep sigh tells him everything that he needs to know.

“Now, you might want to start treating me better because I didn’t have to do this…”

“You didn’t have to put me in this condition either, Winters. I won’t thank you for fixing what you broke…”

Broke. He looks her over. Does she really see herself as broken? Really he thinks with the proper treatments she could probably function relatively well. “Well, look, I didn’t just get you medication, I also got some new clothes for you and some food that’s more...suitable for a human.”

She seems none to pleased about this.

“Look, I even got you a new hat, just like your other one.”  He tries.

This seems to lift her mood, if only a little. She reaches for it and fixes it onto her head. It is only when he hands her the pile of clothes that he realizes she is already dressed in something new. Rather, aged but different than what she had been wearing.

“Bela and Daniela made it for me.” She notes.

He doesn’t want to be touched by it but, by God, he is. To think that those beasts have flickers of humanity. “There are two types of drugs here.” He holds them out, “one for diet and nutrition and one to suppress the immune system. Believe it or not, the Duke said that he got a supply just in case something like this happened.”

Lady Dimitrescu takes the pills and supplements.

“He was going to charge me extra too! He said that he was planning on getting extra riches from this, I told him that I put up with enough chatter to get a discount!”

She rolls her eyes. “That man is a character.” She takes a glass of water and swallows a pill. He can’t imagine that someone so small would need any more than one. She seems to stare sadly at her hands. But when she looks upon him it isn’t with as much hatred as it has been prior.

.oOo.

Alcina picks her way through the pile of clothing and, to her relief, finds a pair of gloves. She stuffs her rashed and blistered hands into the gloves, glad to be rid of the sight of them. She hates the sight of them, hates the sight of herself in general. She doesn’t just hate the sight of herself, she thinks that she hates herself entirely.

“Do you want something to eat?” Winters breaks her from her daze.

“Yes!” Daniela declares.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” He mumbles.

“A meal would be ideal.” She replies quietly.

The man seems to bite at his cheek before asking, “what would you like?”

“I don’t know, Winters. I haven’t had a taste for human dishes since making dishes of humans.”

For some reason, he chortles at this.

“Surprise me, you’re aggravatingly good at that.”

Ethan nods. “Alright, I’ll cook some potato salad, Mia used to love potato salad especially when I added cider vinegar…” He trails off in thought.

She thinks that the memory is painful for him, it must be with his wife so newly dead. She tries her best to fight off the sympathy but doesn’t quite succeed. She has enough success to not reassure him but not enough to stop herself from pulling him out of his own head. “My girls need food too.”

“They can have some of the salad.”

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “You need to go hunting. They prefer raw human, but deer or wolf will suffice.”

He sighs and says exactly what she hadn’t expected. “Alright, I’ll show you how to make a good potato salad and then I’ll go on a hunting trip. I’ve already shot dozens of lycans, how hard can one deer be?”

[aelaer]

The Blood in Our Veins (a serial)

This came out faster than I expected.

Prompt (via @ironstrangeprompts): Kidnapped to play doctor for a still unseen other prisoner; Stephen realizes there is only one person on the planet who would have palladium in their blood.

This is unbetaed; apologies for any errors.

Part 1 |

Part 2 - Get Me Through the Night

The time on Stephen's watch read 5:24 P.M. on April 24, 2010. Doctor Baar caught him looking at his wrist as he helped prepare samples for the pharmaceutical chemist.

"If your watch is set for New York time, it will not match here. I do not think we are in America."

"What makes you say that?" Stephen asked. He was told that talking was allowed so long as they still worked, but a couple doctors gazed over at the camera as that was said. He got it; they were being both watched and listened to. Great.

"Breakfast should come in the next two to four hours. Or at least, they are more breakfast-like foods. Eastern European, maybe Middle Eastern. I am not entirely sure." The German doctor adjusted the microscope he looked into and kept his head down. "They do keep us well-fed, for what it is worth. You will not starve here."

Playing lab technician was not something Stephen had done since medical school and it was not something he particularly enjoyed. He wasn't exactly in the position to change his circumstances at the moment, however—and there were a lot of blood samples that needed preparation by someone, and he wasn't one of the lab specialists. So he took on the prep work. It was tedious, but necessary in their situation.

"Breakfast?" Stephen frowned. "Then when do they let us sleep?"

"At the beginning, when Doctor Ferguson and I were first brought here, we were permitted to sleep seven hours. They even dimmed the lights." Again the doctor kept his head down, appearing very focused on his work.

Stephen followed his lead and kept his eyes on the centrifuge tubes he was preparing. "How long have you been here?"

"For us, it has been a month. It was maybe two weeks later when Doctor Mahajan joined us. Doctor Weston has been here for only a few days." Doctor Baar typed a few notes into a computer and replaced the slide with another one; both slides had a small drop of blood upon them.

"I don't suppose that computer has an internet connection," Stephen muttered.

The chemist smiled dryly. "That would be useful, wouldn't it?"

Stephen had nothing to say to that and the conversation petered out into nothing.

————  

Stephen's watch read 6:41 P.M. when Doctor Mahajan asked if Stephen could be spared for more sample handling at her work station. He had hundreds of more questions, but Doctor Baar had asked for silence soon after their conversation and Stephen understood that need well and had followed his request.

"Thank you for joining in the work so quickly," Doctor Mahajan said after relaying her instructions to him. "I am surprised you didn't elect to sleep further first. You were heavily drugged."

"I get through stress best by working," Stephen replied, "though I haven't done lab work for some years." The knowledge that he had been kidnapped was a thought he had pushed into the back of his mind, placing it in a spot to deal with later (when he inevitably had to). In the meantime, he wanted to distract himself as much as possible and gather what information he could regarding his circumstances, and he had the opportunity to do both right now.

Doctor Mahajan continued lowly, "Doctor Weston has been helping us a lot since her arrival, but she deserves further rest. She remained awake during her time to sleep to monitor you."

Stephen had been instructed by her to place samples onto slides and label them in a specific manner on both the slide and computer, so he was in the process of doing just that. "What is this about taking shifts to sleep? Doctor Baar mentioned it had not always been like this."

"It changed about a week ago," she answered. "It was just before Doctor Weston was brought here. Before, during my time here, they had only come in once to deliver new equipment that Doctor Ferguson requested."

"How're food and messages usually delivered?" Stephen asked.

"Through the slot at the bottom of the door," she said, then lowered her voice even further into a near whisper, leaving Stephen straining to hear her. "But they came in again." She went off on a tangent to add, "If they come once more, put your hands on your head, quickly. They're impatient." Doctor Mahajan then paused to enter something longer on her own computer before continuing to speak in a whisper. "They said the last time they came that only one of us could sleep at a time, and we needed to eat meals faster. There would be 'consequences' if we didn't." She quickly pivoted the subject. "Let me know when you are starting to get tired; my sleep shift started an hour ago, but Doctor Weston needed it more. We will need to adjust to about five hours a shift with your arrival, too."

Stephen frowned down at the slides as he listened to her words. "What could be so damn important that we can only sleep one at a time? What are these samples for?"

Doctor Mahajan didn't answer immediately. When she did, he again had to strain to hear her. "The less you know and the less you guess, the safer it will be for you. Please don't ask me again."

————  

The time was 8:30 P.M. in New York when Stephen finished his prep work for Doctor Mahajan. She had gone for her sleep shift about 45 minutes ago. Just as he finished, he heard a metallic scraping sound that sounded near-deafening in the quiet room.

"That's breakfast," Doctor Ferguson told him as she turned to face him. "We have a table to eat at over there." She waved a hand at a corner of the room. "They don't like us eating together all at once. We'll eat first."

She sent a couple silent gestures to the other two doctors, then went towards the door. Stephen followed her and eyed the entrance up and down. It looked like it was made of steel and in no way was going to be forced open. Beside the door were two large closed containers. Doctor Ferguson picked one up, leaving Stephen for the other, and he followed her to the table.

The containers turned out to be filled with an ample amount of food: several pieces of flatbread, a chunk of cheese, a chunk of butter, another container filled with a porridge of some type, and something that resembled yogurt but didn't quite smell like the yogurt he was used to. There were also two canteens of what turned out to be tea and coffee, and enough dishes and cutlery for them all.

"Doctor Baar wasn't kidding," Stephen muttered. "They do want us well-fed."

"It wouldn't do them any good if we were too weak to work," she replied. "Help yourself to whatever you want."

Stephen avoided the yogurt-looking substance, but took a bit of the rest and helped himself to some coffee. It wasn't spectacular, but it was manageable. "Doctor Baar mentioned that you, alongside him, have been here the longest Doctor Ferguson."

"Call me Jada," she answered. "It seems ridiculous to me to stand on titles in a situation like this. Summer—Doctor Weston—agrees with me." 

He raised his brows. "And the other two?" 

"Steffen doesn't seem to care either way; he's a tough read. Doctor Meera Mahajan always refers to us by title, and seems to want the same. I think it helps her disassociate from our circumstances—helps her cope. We're all worried, but she's having the toughest time of it." 

Stephen looked sidelong at the British woman as they spoke about her; she was currently asleep in one of the beds along the far wall. The stress lines across her brow had hardly faded. His eyes quickly caught sight of the unlabeled pill bottle on the floor just beside her cot. "Pills?" he asked. 

"Oh." Jada paused for a moment in thought. "She has a condition—best if she tells you, rather than me. I'm not her doctor, but…" 

"I get it," Stephen said with a slight smile. 

"Steffen has his own pills, too. A different condition. But you need to let us know now if you need anything daily; they'll have it to you within a day, if it's like when they got the other pills." 

He shook his head. "No, I'm fine." He then glanced towards the camera at the corner near the door. "They're very well-stocked." 

"Very," she muttered. 

"Who are these people?" Stephen muttered back. "What do they want with us?" 

"No idea who they are, but I can show you what they are having us do after breakfast." Jada jutted her chin to his plate. "Finish up; we've been talking too long without getting work done. They're even starting to get annoyed at longer showers. Though to be honest, I don't know why I still try and bother with long showers; that white people shampoo has completely ruined my hair." 

Stephen snorted softly at the unexpected comment. "Should send a complaint to management." 

She half-smiled. "We've gotten a few changes of clothes, extra towels, and water containers as needed—they brought stuff in for you when you arrived, by the way—but even I wouldn't push my luck with this group." Jada then turned fully to her meal and Stephen followed suit. 

After they ate, she led him back to her workstation. Doctors Baar and Weston took their turn to eat breakfast as Doctor Ferguson opened a cabinet. 

Stephen stared blankly at the contents within. On one shelf were a number of inorganic compounds: calcium hydroxide, lithium carbonate, lithium hydroxide, hydrogen peroxide, and lithium peroxide, to name a few. On another shelf chlorophyllin, several supplements in the form of vitamin C, vitamin B12, magnesium, calcium, and iron, and a bottle of Calcium EDTA were all in sight, though there were other things behind those. There were also various fruits, of all things, on the very bottom shelf. 

"The fruits aren't for us, by the way." She tapped a handwritten recipe beside the cabinet. "You can make the drink right now. We're making it twice a day at this point. Refrigerated items are over there." Jada gestured over to a small medical fridge. 

His bewildered gaze went from the cabinet to follow her hand, then fell on the recipe. "What the hell is this for?" 

"Our patient." She went to her microscope and placed a slide under it. After a moment of adjusting the focus, Jada said, "Come take a look at this." 

Stephen stepped up to the microscope and frowned to himself as he looked at what happened to be a blood sample. The white blood cells showed clear signs of toxic granulation and he saw both basophilic stippling and microcytic anemia in the red blood cells. 

"Well," he started, "the patient does not have normal-looking blood cells. I hope you have more than blood samples to work with." 

She half-smiled. "Lucky for us, we didn't have to search for what was causing these abnormalities. The patient has palladium poisoning." 

Stephen lifted his head from the microscope to stare at her. "Palladium poisoning? Is the patient chewing on engagement rings?" Seriously, palladium? 

"It gets weirder," Jada answered. "Calcium EDTA could solve the trick, but for whatever reason the patient is being continually exposed to this palladium and it's not leaving the body. The smoothie," she nodded to it, "was on us to make from the first day we got here, to treat symptoms and to limit the spread of the poisoning. We've added a couple other things to try and help the patient's body fight it. Start making a cup; we leave it at the slot and they collect it with our dishes." 

Normally Stephen would not be thrilled to be ordered around as such, but again, his circumstances weren't exactly normal—and his brain was still trying to come up with an idea as to where someone would be continuously exposed to palladium, of all things. 

As he began to make the drink and Jada returned to her own work at the microscope, he asked, "And I suppose that you've been tasked to find some sort of permanent cure against continuous palladium exposure." 

"Bingo," she answered. "During my second week here we began experiments with lithium compounds after we saw potential in the samples. After Doctor Mahajan arrived, she suggested lithium dioxide which has had the most effective results in slowing the poisoning. Several tests later, Steffen synthesized a stable mix with the least likelihood of side effects. 

"But as you saw, it slowed down the spread of poisoning; it hasn't done anything to fully stop it or repair the damage. We're still seeing a deterioration in the patient's tests. The current trend is leading into a direction that, if we don't figure something out soon, will leave the patient dead in two months—even with regular lithium dioxide injections." 

Stephen's frown remained a permanent fixture as he mixed the strange smoothie and listened to her. "Do these people know this?" 

"Yeah," she answered. "And a couple days after we told them, Summer arrived. We're still trying to find a more permanent solution, but she was given X-rays yesterday." 

"Doctor Weston did mention an X-ray earlier." 

"I haven't had a chance to look at them yet. I guess they are having her explore another avenue." Jada jutted her chin to the smoothie. "Cap the smoothie and leave it by the door; Steffen will put everything that needs to go back to them into place in the container. And if you're up for it, I could use a hand inputting all my notes into the computer." 

It was something to do, so he agreed.

—————  

It was 11:13 P.M. according to Stephen's watch when he agreed to take the sleep shift after Doctor Mahajan starting at about 12:30 (at least in New York). Steffen Baar had been after Meera Mahajan before Stephen's arrival, but the chemist wanted to finish some experiments that would take more than two hours to complete, apparently, so they 'may as well start the new shifts now'. 

So Summer Weston pulled him away from his transcribing work with Jada Ferguson to discuss some matters with him before he went to sleep. 

"Your latest paper on neurogenesis was fantastic, Doctor Strange. Some of the more complex concepts went beyond my medical knowledge, but what I did understand really excited me for what we may see in neurosurgery in the future."

His ego ate the compliment with ease, but he replied politely, "Thank you, Doctor Weston. Your own pioneering work with robotic cardiovascular surgery is bound to help cardiothoracic surgeons across the world."

She waved a hand. "Summer, please."

"Call me Stephen, then," he said. "You mentioned you had some X-rays?"

"Yes." They reached her workstation and she clicked on a folder on her desktop. "They're not incredibly helpful, though."

He was about to ask what she meant, and then the first image came up. Stephen raised his brows. The image was of a male torso with several splinters of some sort of foreign body scattered throughout the chest. But instead of showing the entire affected area as an X-ray usually would, the image was cropped midway up the torso, leaving off the upper chest entirely.

"And this one is why you're here, I'm afraid," Summer said, and again he was presented with a strangely cropped X-ray. This one was taken from the side; the spine and a couple inches of the body was shown, but it was cropped before the sternum. In what he could see from this X-ray and in comparison to the first one, there were a couple shards dangerously close to peripheral nerves and one uncomfortably close to the spine.

"How is this man still alive?" he muttered. "Are these shards causing the palladium poisoning?" What palladium item would create such trauma in the first place?

"It's amazing he's alive," she said in agreement. "And take a look at the heart X-ray." She went to the image (again cropped to cut off view of the sternum) and, other than the foreboding shards lodged about the area, he immediately saw the issue.

"His heart is too far left," Stephen muttered. "What's pushed it there?"

She offered him a slight smile. "I have written to them," she gestured to the computer, "that I will not be able to give them an accurate idea of surviving a surgery without full chest X-rays at the least, and that I would definitely need an orthopedic surgeon or neurosurgeon for the shards near the nerves." She then gave him an apologetic look.

Stephen didn't bother answering; what was done was done. "They can't expect us to perform surgery on this man without a full X-ray at the least."

"I don't think they want us to," she answered. At his questioning look, Summer clarified, "They're still trying to find a more permanent solution to the palladium poisoning with the other three, but they are running out of time. We're more of a last resort."

He wasn't quite sure how he felt about being a last resort (he felt a bit miffed, actually, but he had enough sense to realize that this was not a good time to express his annoyance). "Doctor Ferguson said two months at most." Stephen looked again at the X-ray, and he found himself frowning; something was tickling at the back of his mind, some piece of knowledge that was relevant to all this, but it remained elusive.

"Hopefully they won't wait until last minute for the surgery, then," she answered.

Stephen spent the rest of his time awake studying what imaging and tests had been made on this male patient (obviously no MRIs); but alongside the cropped X-rays there were extensive blood tests, images from a CT scan, urine tests, lung function tests results, and cardiac function tests. There was more than enough data to read through and get a better idea of the overall health of the man he might have to perform surgery upon.

When he eventually took his turn to sleep, he was exhausted and fell quickly asleep. Stephen's last waking thought was the puzzle of the palladium and the niggling, niggling suspicion that he was missing something he already knew.

————— 

A/N: Tony's injected with lithium dioxide in Iron Man 2 to slow his poisoning. In reality, this chemical compound doesn't exist. Its real-life cousin, lithium superoxide, would definitely not be good for his body considering you use Kelvin to measure its temperature (aka very very very cold). It's other cousin, lithium peroxide, doesn't seem nearly as bad, but not exactly what you'd call anywhere near accurate science. But this just means that the fic can get away with some Hollywood Science. 

Hollywood Science is used in the ingredients for his symptom-counteracting drink (for instance, chlorophyllin has no proven health benefits, just conjectures, and treating metal poisoning is a good deal more precise than I write here and the ingredients are all rather loosey-goosey, though I try to put some real world logic into it). Huzzah!

Medical people: if you see anything blatantly erroneous (and clearly not Hollywood Science in the form of fictional treatments), please let me know.

Tag requests: @sobeautifullyobsessed, @tashacumberbitch @babywarg, @nishtha3012, @ragingstillness, @walkin-in-the-cosmos, @lafourmii20. Others: Let me know if you want to be tagged for future updates in a comment (as it won't be on AO3 for a while and has no steady update schedule planned). Or let me know if you want to be removed.

[kikiofthevast]

Lotus Eaters

CW: Implied mind manipulation, being trapped, canon-typical Beholding stuff, implied memory manipulation, dead family members, brainwashing(?), hallucinations, memory fuckery

Pairings: None

Summary: Unsigned letter found on a beach submitted to the Archives by an anonymous individual. Takes place during early S4.

(Yes the title is from the Mechanisms and yes there is a subtle Come From Away reference in here)

Edit: Now on AO3

---

click

ARCHIVIST

Alright, I don't know if this is going to be anything. It could be nothing. But Elias has been trying to hide this letter from me. I don't think he really knew that I knew until now, when I'm making this, and he's likely watching me. But I have to know. What is so important about this damn letter that seems so...inconsequential.

I mean, I've encountered unsigned letters before, but this one is particularly strange because it isn't dated. It also appears to have been...written in blood.

Well, no use delaying any further.

[Deep sigh]

Unsigned letter found on a beach submitted to the Archives by an anonymous individual.

Letter begins.

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

I don't know if anyone will find this but I need to warn someone, and my time is short. I will tell my story to the best of my ability in the hopes that nobody else will end up like me, trapped in this....mellow hell.

There were ten of us, that boarded the ship.

We were off to war. With the fog in my head I can't remember where or when but it was something we had to fight. There was a (Archivist's note, here there is a dark scribble over a few words) rough patch though, as we were making our way.

Look, I've been on a ship for most of my life. It's not like I've never experienced this before but something about this one felt different. It was like we passed a threshold, like the atmosphere of a planet.

We got shipwrecked, but everyone survived the crash. The air was breathable, and we all got out safely. We didn't know where we were, but we knew that we needed food and water.

We split off, I was the captain so I designated teams of people, and I myself led the team that was going to make the shelter.

To this final day, I am glad I made that decision. Otherwise I would have lost myself long before now.

We gathered wood from the trees around us, large and unnatural but sturdy and made for a nice shelter for the small crew I had. Then after a while the food people came back.

I didn't notice anything off at first but now, after all this has happened, I could see all the warning signs.

They were happy, and had found a lot of berries for us to eat. They said that the natives had told them they were safe to eat and we ate them that night, when the water group came back with some drinking water that sparkled in the sun.

I should say that this place was beautiful. It was like nowhere I'd ever seen in all my travels, and it is still beautiful, almost hypnotisingly so. The berries were nice, but I wasn't very hungry, and I didn't eat many of them. I didn't drink much of the water either. Even now I'm not sure why I didn't. Maybe it was intuition.

I slept strangely peacefully that night, and had pleasant dreams. I remember them clearly. I was standing in a field, surrounded by pink flowers. My mother was there, and she smiled and offered me a few. She had one in her hair, and she laughed like the wind and her dress blew out behind her but never touched the flowers around us.

There was a tree in the distance, and I began walking toward it, thinking knowing it was my home. But I woke up before I could reach it. And I remembered that my mother was dead.

The next morning I said that we should start working on the ship, start preparing to continue with our journey.

I got blank looks in response.

I said again that we should be planning to leave and none of them responded. They all just stared. It was like they hadn't heard me.

After a minute of silence, one of the food gatherers, Charles Hunt, his name was, I've known him for years, went out without a word, and the rest followed him. And then, everyone else got up and left the tent.

I knew something was wrong, I could feel it but I also was having trouble keeping my wits about me. I wanted to follow them, go find more berries, but I didn't want to do that. It sounds confusing, and it was, so I was really starting to get a headache from it.

I didn't eat any berries for a while though. I stuck to the rations in the ship, and eventually I think my crew caught on and started sneaking the berries into my food. They often asked me to come to some sort of gathering with the natives, to just relax and let go.

I refused. I tried to wake them up, shook them, but they all looked dead. Their eyes were blank and unmoving. They only saw me when they turned their heads and stared.

I gave up on leaving. I tried so hard to fix the ship, but they sabotaged me. And the berries are really taking hold of me now, and it's painful to keep fighting so I have to let go.

I'm not happy about it, though I'm sure I will be when I do. They're all singing now, I think they're waiting for me. I'm launching this with a rocket and this is my final plea.

This place is a trap. Warn your children to fly lightyears away if they find this planet. Don't eat the food, nor drink the water.

Run.

ARCHIVIST

Letter...letter ends.

I...

I'm sorry. I'm afraid I was just hit with an overwhelming sense of deja vu.

There...are supplemental materials here, including a small glass bottle with the top missing and a...what is that?

It looks like a rocket but it's unlike any I've seen, and seems like it used technology I...ugh. I'm starting to get a headache.

I know this story. I've heard it. I don't know where or when but I have.

This requires looking into.

End recording.

click

---

click

ARCHIVIST

[irritated] -don't understand. How can I remember something that hasn't happened yet, that doesn't even make sense.

HELEN

Of course not, Archivist, your perception of time as a concept is linear. Tell me, Archivist, do you have a mechanical heart?

ARCHIVIST

No, I...I don't....but...don't I? Shouldn't I? But I haven't...no, I don't, I, whatever you're trying to do, Helen it won't work!

HELEN

Take your time, Archivist. You have plenty of it.

[sound of a door closing]

[beat]

ARCHIVIST

Great.

[beat]

I...

She's wrong. I...don't have a mechanical heart, I-

[soft almost inaudible mechanical hum]

[door opens]

BASIRA

Jon I found- are you alright?

ARCHIVIST

Basira, I'm going to ask you to do something that sounds crazy. Put a hand to my chest and feel my heartbeat.

BASIRA

Jon, are you-

ARCHIVIST

[desperate] Just do it, please. I don't trust myself.

BASIRA

Okay.

[beat]

It feels normal Jon.

ARCHIVIST

[loud sigh]

Thank you. You can go.

BASIRA

Jon, I-

ARCHIVIST

[forcefully] Go.

click

[hockeylvr59]

Life Changes Part 6 || Paul Bissonnette

Summary: It’s crazy how quickly your life can change...one minute you’re a struggling personal injury lawyer and the next you’re working for one of the hottest sports podcasts to supplement your income. A new job and the end of a long-term relationship was just the beginning for Leigh Thompson when it comes to life changes. Thankfully she has the one and only Paul Bissonnette at her side to help her handle them all. 

Authors Note: Splitting this next segment up into at least two parts because otherwise, it will be insanely long (this part contains 2 of at least 6 events that I have in mind for this short span of time). I’d love to know what you think of this chapter, especially considering that Paul is very much present. Also please feel free to send me any songs that you think I should add to the series playlist. 

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no    Warnings: cursing.   Word Count: 2,865+ text convos

_____________________________________________________________

“True life is lived when tiny changes occur.” 

From the moment I’d been hired by the podcast, I’d been working on putting together all of the details for a Vegas trip for the NHL awards. Now, after months of hard work, everything was set for the guys to spend a week in Vegas. Our title sponsor for the trip was one of the many hotel-casinos who had reserved a 4 bedroom suite for the podcast hosts as well as a few standard rooms for the camera and production guys. Additionally, all of the media passes for the event were ready to go and I knew the boys had lined up quite a few guests. With everything set and the awards only a week away I was hoping to maybe be able to take a mini-vacation myself at home while they partied it up and got tons of content to last through the summer. 

It had been maybe an hour from when I sent the boys an email with all of the important details for the trip when my phone buzzed with an incoming text from Paul. 

______

So, because I lacked all capability to tell Paul Bissonnette ‘no’ when he asked me to do something, I was currently pulling my suitcase through the Vegas airport at almost midnight the night before the awards. Checking my phone I saw that Paul had texted me one message with the room number and which room in the suite was ours as well as another saying that the rest of the boys had gone out but that he’d be there when I got in. I had previously told him not to wait up for me and had even fought with him when he wanted to come to pick me up. It was completely ridiculous for him to even think about taking an Uber to the airport just to uber back to the hotel. 

Grabbing a cab, it wasn’t long before I had arrived at the hotel and after stopping at the front desk for a key to the room and to make sure the boys hadn’t had any problems with the reservations, I took the elevator upstairs and let myself into a dark and silent suite. Part of me had expected Paul to be up watching tv or something but it was too quiet for that. He’d said that we were staying in the first room on the right and so I quietly headed over, pausing in the doorway when my eyes caught sight of him. 

The only light in the room was coming from the open blinds letting in the city lights and Paul was sprawled out on the bed on his stomach fast asleep. The way the light and shadows highlighted the muscles of his naked back made my body react involuntarily and I took a deep breath trying not to gasp. Reminding myself that this was definitely just the pregnancy hormones getting the best of me, I slipped into the room and closed the door to the living room behind me. 

As quietly as I could, I hung my dress up in the wardrobe and got my pajamas and things for bed out of my suitcase before sneaking into the bathroom to get ready to go to sleep. It was beyond late and with the time change, I was exhausted. Paul was still taking up most of the bed when I stepped out of the bathroom and flipped off the light, using the flashlight on my phone to guide me across the room to close the curtains and then to the edge of the bed. Perched on what little bed was not occupied by a large man, I gently reached out and rubbed my hand over his back trying to stir him just enough that he’d roll over and make room. Getting no reaction I sighed. 

“Paul...are you actually gonna share the bed like you promised or am I stuck sleeping on the couch tonight?” I whispered. Rubbing his back once more I felt his muscles twitch and suddenly his body was moving, arm reaching out to take my hand and pull me into him. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as I settled into his embrace, his solid chest pressed into my back. As his body shifted to surround me further, the hand that had grabbed mine moved to drape over my waist. 

We’d snuggled like this before, but back then I didn’t have a 21-week baby bump protruding from my front. It was clear that in his sleepy state he expected what he was used to before because the moment his arm didn’t drape the way he expected he froze against me. A change in his breathing signaled that he was now actually awake and his hand gently caressed my stomach for a moment. 

“Holy shit Leigh…” His sleep laden voice murmured from behind me. “You...that’s...I didn’t...wow.” Shaking my head at him a little I rolled onto my back so that I could look over at him. As I shifted, Paul reached over to tap the bedside light on, allowing us to actually see each other. 

“It’s called a baby bump Paul...this is kinda what happens when you’re pregnant and the baby starts to get bigger. There’s only so much space in there for the baby to grow otherwise.” His gaze was dark and lazy as our eyes met before he swept a look up and down my body taking in the changes that he’d missed due to living on separate sides of the country. 

“I knew that…” He declared, glaring at me softly. “I just...I don’t know. I haven’t seen you in a few months and I don’t know why but I wasn’t expecting you to be showing. Not like this.” I knew he wasn’t implying that I was fat or anything, just that his brain hadn’t actually processed the changes that my body would undergo during pregnancy. 

“Not so easy to hide anymore huh?” I questioned and he nodded but his eyes hadn’t left my stomach, nor had his hand. 

“Fuck...I...are you okay with me touching?” He asked at least being conscious enough to know that women frequently complained about people touching their bellies. It was clear that he wanted to touch and explore. To make the connection between the baby that we so frequently talked about and how said baby currently existed inside me. Smiling over at him I nodded, though he wasn’t looking and therefore didn’t see it. 

“Go for it,” I assured him. “You are one of the few people I think I can put on my approved bump touch list.” I teased. Part of me had at least expected him to crack a smile at that but I don’t think he was paying attention to my words since the second I gave him permission to touch. 

The way his strong fingers grazed over my belly so gently caused a shiver to run up my spine and I just watched him for a moment before closing my eyes and relaxing. For a few minutes, he just caressed and pressed his palm to my stomach before his fingers dipped down to the edge of my shirt. Peeking up at him I could see the adoration in his eyes as he looked at the way my body had adapted to growing the little boy or girl inside of me. I felt blessed to know that he already loved this baby so much even though he had no real reason to and it made me want to give him as much as I could so far as letting him bond with the baby went. 

“Here…” I breathed, rolling just slightly to adjust my shirt so that it rested just under my breasts, exposing the skin of my stomach to him, stretch marks and all. I knew that touching through clothes was one thing but letting him see the way that my skin had stretched, and letting him touch without that barrier in the way was something else entirely. 

Paul’s hand quickly found its way back to the bump and when he looked up at me again his eyes were moist with tears. Meeting his gaze with concern, I reached over to brush my thumb against his cheek. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, his body leaning into my touch as much as I had his earlier. “I just...this is incredible. I...I didn’t expect that this would affect me so much.” It was totally understandable for him to have that reaction and I did my best to communicate that to him without words. My own voice was stuck in my throat seeing him get emotional over something that I’d personally gotten used to because it was my new normal. “You...I hope you know that you were beautiful before...but you’re absolutely gorgeous like this. Pregnancy suits you.” The intent behind his words confused me but he was so sure of them that I couldn’t help the flush that came over my entire body. Catching my breath after a moment I glanced over at the alarm clock beside the bed. 

“So...can we go to sleep now...because it’s the middle of the night back home and being pregnant is exhausting.” My words seemed to snap Paul out of his trance. 

“Fuck...of course. I...goodnight Leigh.” His words were spoken with a soft kiss to my temple, but before I could attempt to roll over, Paul had shifted, leaning over me. “Goodnight dustbunny.” He added and for a split second his lips were pressed against my stomach before he was laying back down beside me, a sheepish look on his face. “Didn’t want baby to feel left out.” He mumbled before switching the light back off so that we could all get some sleep. 

Tucked back against his chest, I was nearly off to dreamland when I heard him whisper softly into the room. “I’m here for whatever you and your mama need dustbunny...that’s a promise.” 

__________________________

When I woke the next morning, Paul was still passed out beside me. Gingerly, I slid out of his arms needing first to use the bathroom and then to get some food before the baby decided to protest. After taking care of my bladder needs and slipping on a pair of shorts, I quietly opened the door to the living room wondering if the boys had any food in the kitchen or if they’d eaten out for every single meal since arriving in Vegas. 

Padding softly through the living room around to the little kitchen in the suite, I could hear RA and Grinnell talking softly from over by the patio doors. When I arrived in the kitchen I found a couple of small boxes of cereal as well as a small bottle of milk in the minifridge. Pouring myself a bowl of cereal, I rubbed the remaining sleep from my eyes before moving back to lean against the counter dividing the kitchen and living space while I ate. It was only then that I addressed the crew’s oldest host and our production manager by saying good morning. 

Both quickly returned my greeting but didn’t look over at me right away. However, upon finishing their conversation, they turned to me and it was comical to see the double-take that Mikey did when his eyes saw me. 

“What the fuck is that?” He asked only to be scolded by RA murmuring a ‘dude…’ in his direction. Swallowing the bite of cereal I’d put into my mouth I started laughing at how thrown these two grown men seemed at the sight of a pregnant woman. 

“Um...surprise?” I stated, trying to downplay things in order to not generate a large reaction. 

“Why didn’t Biz fucking tell us he’s gonna be a dad?” Mikey exclaimed, visibly getting worked up and speaking without really thinking about his words. Again RA tried to get him to shut up for a minute but he continued to rant for a moment about how ‘this was a big deal’ and ‘since when did Biz keep secrets like this….’ 

“Michael Grinnell...will you shut up for a minute?” I declared, setting my now empty bowl down on the counter. “Biz didn’t tell you that he’s gonna be a dad because he’s not…” I immediately motioned for him to let me continue but before I could, a voice sounded from my left.

“How far along do you think she is dumbass?” Ryan Whitney chirped as he made his way into the kitchen for his own breakfast. His lack of reaction to what he’d just walked into caught me off guard for a moment before I turned to look at him. 

“How long have you known?” I asked accusatorily.  He at least had the courtesy to look guilty as he mumbled that I probably already knew the answer to that. Carding my fingers through my hair, I sighed and shook my head. “You’ve known as long as Paul has…” I was slightly annoyed by that and it clearly showed on my face causing Whit to backpedal. 

“I didn’t know know…” He explained. “Yes...Biz texted me asking if you being sick the way you were was normal and the suspicion was kind of unspoken. He never actually told me that you were though...it was just pretty obvious when the two of you posted scenic pictures when I knew he was taking you to the doctors’. If it was a bug you would have been in bed resting, long drive implies a distraction and it wasn’t hard to figure out from that, that his suspicions had been right.” I couldn’t really be angry about the fact that he’d deduced it based on information obtained before anyone knew for certain that I was pregnant. “Plus...Biz has been different the past few months and it’s pretty obvious why…” He added, gesturing toward my stomach. 

“So….if Biz isn’t the dad…” Mikey jumped back into the conversation, his expression suggesting that he’d been thinking a little too hard about all of this. Suddenly his eyes went wide. “Oh...shit.” He murmured like it had all hit him at once. Needing to take control of the situation back I placed a hand on my stomach, taking a deep breath. 

“Yes. I’m pregnant. No, we’re not talking about the whole paternity situation. Yes, Paul and evidently Whit have known for a few months. I didn’t tell my parents until last month and I’m not ready to go fully public with an announcement yet which is why I hadn’t said anything. Now, if we can just move on...that would be wonderful.” 

Thankfully Whit was able to distract RA and Grinnell with a discussion of setting up for the interviews they were recording before the awards tonight and I was able to slip back to the bedroom, suddenly feeling like I needed a nap even though I’d just woke up. 

I’d been staring out the window, trying to clear my mind and decide what I wanted to do until I had to start getting ready when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and I was pulled back into a firm chest. 

“You okay?” Paul asked, his fingers once again rubbing gentle circles over the expanse of my stomach. Leaning into him I nodded and just focused on his touch and soothing presence. 

“The boys know.” I eventually whispered and I could feel him chuckle softly. 

“I mean...I kind of figured...it only takes one look at you like this.” Feeling his lips press against my hair I sighed. “Plus I could hear Grinnell freaking out. Are you okay with the cat being out of the bag so to speak?” Shrugging I sighed but didn’t say anything. I kind of had to be okay, though it did again bring the fear of the world finding out tonight on national tv to the front of my mind. I could only pray that the dress I’d found would do a sufficient job of hiding my growing stomach in the way that a pair of shorts and a clingy tank top couldn’t. 

Spinning me around Paul pulled me into a hug. We stood like that for a few minutes before there was a knock on the bedroom door with RA calling out that Paul needed to get his ass into gear so they could get started. When he pulled back reluctantly, he kissed the top of my head. 

“I’ll be fine...go,” I assured him. “Dustbunny and I are just gonna lay back down for a little while. I’ll set an alarm to wake me in a couple hours so I can start getting ready for tonight.” 

With one more caress of my bump, Paul retreated to the living room to work and I slipped back into bed, pulling his pillow from his side of the bed to cuddle. With sounds of laughter coming from the next room I quickly drifted off to sleep, hoping that I would wake up more excited for the awards than I currently felt. 

No Social Media for this Chapter. 

[muppetsilas]

My Plan

The absolute biggest thing to keep in mind through all of this is that this is NOT a diet! This is not temporary and painful. You’re not denying yourself things, don’t tell yourself you “can’t” have a thing. Keep in mind that these are smarter permanent choices that you’re making and every time you put something in your mouth, you’re making the decision that it’s “worth” the calories. The ONLY rule to weight loss is to burn more calories than you’re taking in, so you can adjust to whatever foods you need within moderation, don’t treat this as torture.

Also, DO NOT weigh or measure yourself AT ALL until after the sixth month. Take all measurements before you start and then avoid it until then. Daily/weekly/monthly progress fluctuates too much and muscle weighs more than fat per square inch, so do not focus on numbers; nothing will de-motivate you quicker. You’ll be able to tell things are changing by how you feel and how your clothes fit.

First Two Weeks: -Make a list of all of the non-carby foods you like and won’t get sick of. There are many lists online to draw from. Don’t worry, you’re not cutting all of the things out now; but the list will be helpful later. -Come up with three or four things you can make in bulk and freeze in baggies or containers (already cooked or ready to cook portions) for once weekly meal prep (helps when you’re busy or on the go - I use quiche/fritatta, chili, chicken stir fry, and pork chunks). -Do the same listing bulk things for the fridge that you can grab for snacks instead of snack foods (I use tuna salad, crack slaw, cheeses, lunch meats, and hard boiled eggs). -Cut out carbonated drinks. Even fat free, calorie, even sparkling water. It’s not about that; they are stretching out your stomach with their bubbles, and making more room in there to convince you that you need more food in there to be full. -Cut back on sweets if you can. Have half of what you used to have. -Switch to five scheduled meals a day, one of which is a protein shake. SCHEDULED is important. Set alarms and just spend this time getting into the groove of five smaller meals instead of three larger ones. Don’t worry too much about portions right now, however try not to ADD more food than what you’ve been eating, just spread out what you’d normally have for the three and make sure one of the five is a shake. Any shake you like that has more than 10 grams of protein per serving. That extra protein will curb your hunger and get your levels up for when you start working out (don’t panic, you can do this). Anyone on food stamps, be aware that if you’re getting your shake stuff on that, it has to be one that has a “nutritional facts” label, NOT a “supplements” label.

Second Two Weeks: -Replace a second meal with a shake. Any meal you like. At this point, you’re having two shakes and three smaller meals a day. Note that it’s different for everyone; no one can tell you how much to eat as it depends on what/how you were eating before. So don’t stress about amounts. YOU know how much you were eating, so trust yourself and eat less than that per meal. Don’t be worried, those two extra shakes a day will make a difference and you shouldn’t need as much in the three meals. -Get into your meal prep and eating schedule routine; set one or two days a week when you cook and store food and by now you shouldn’t need alarms as much for your meals.* *Amazon sells cheap little take-out storage containers, like 40 for $10 that can be frozen or refrigerated that have lasted me years that are “correct” portion sizes (half cup). -Get moving. We’re taking this slow, so don’t push it, you don’t want your body to get scared about what’s happening. It will push back, but you got this! Pick any activity at all that will get your heart rate up for at least five minutes at a time, three times. This is called HIIT (high intensity interval training), and it’s the best way to work out as it maximizes your calories burned. Make a fun playlist on Spotify or whatever service, that gets you HYPE, and just go for it. -WATER WATER WATER. The more water you drink, the less hungry you’ll be and the better you’ll feel overall. Yes, it’s annoying to pee more, but even if you’re not taking in more fluids than before, at least replaces your sugary beverages with water. I HATED water when I started this, now I’m addicted. We should be addicted! Trust me, your life will change with water. And a secret: Decaf coffee counts as water up to three cups a day! So enjoy that, but don’t go over three, or you’ll be worse off. -Cut out sugary coffees and juices. -Cut out the rest of your sweets (for now; they’ll be back once you have more self control on how much you have in one sitting. Better just not to have them in the house as a temptation).

Month Two: -Replace another meal with a shake or a protein bar. -Start focusing more on your portion control. By the end of the month, your goal is to be at a half cup per normal meal (2) and 8 fl oz shakes for the other three. -Stay on your eating schedule. -Time to up your activity! I know this is the part that sucks, but try to make it fun! Don’t stick to the rigid guidelines of what people say is exercise. Make up your own. There are literally millions of videos online for every activity and any ability level. I am disabled, and I had to find things I could do with my limited mobility. If you have no equipment at all, you can things around the house! Or you can invest in an affordable resistance band set on Amazon. Try to do either 10 minutes three times or the five minutes 6 times. Either way, you’re doubling your activity. -No drinks except water. -No sweets or spreads. Time to drop that mayo, butter, BBQ sauce, etc. I know it’s tough, but you shouldn’t need it anymore with all of the great recipes you have in your repertoire now.

Month Three: -Alright, time to crack down. You should be eating protein, veggies, and limited fruits only at this point. You should be feeling pretty satisfied with the two half cup meals and three protein shakes a day. You should only be drinking water, no other beverages. -How’s that workout going? You should have been getting at least a half hour cumulatively of cardio every day and now you want to add some weight training if that wasn’t what you were doing already. You want to look up “core” exercises. We’re not looking to get you “swole” or ripped. You don’t need to work out all of your muscles. You’re just looking to get your core strong. That will be the basis of all future workouts and it will make you feel better overall AND it will help to avoid any injury when you want to work out harder later.

Stick with this as long as you can; depending on how much weight you have to lose; and in a few months, you’ll notice that unfortunately you’ll plateau. This stall can last one month to many, and it’s the hardest part of this whole adventure. You’ll want to quit and give up and pig out. I PROMISE it will end and then you’ll lose weight even quicker than you did before. If you want to jump-start the loss again, you may need to increase your workout and/or food intake again.

Lastly, just try to listen to your body! The society we live in has made that really difficult to do. Our whole lives we’ve had to eat in the rush or “clean our plate” or have our veggies... We don’t really listen to our bodies anymore. Your body will tell you when you need certain foods and water. Don’t assume that the more you eat, the less hungry you’ll be after. You know from Asian food that that’s not true. Protein, as a rule, will keep you fuller than carbs and sugars. Just try not to eat because you feel like you have to “finish this serving”. I did that for so long because I didn’t want to waste food. Unfortunately you may waste food during this journey, but you’ll come up with ways to store it and have it later and make adjustments as you go.

I lost 90 pounds this way over the course of 11 months. It feels slow, but think about how quickly a year actually goes by!

[thegastricadventure]

My Binder’s Origins

When I was getting ready for my first steps down the road of this surgery I had to go to a meeting. They went over the the different types of surgeries, the pros the cons and the amount of weight you might lose. It was a great source of information and right before they did it they gave everyone in the meeting a 1″ white binder that could be used to house all the information in.

It was a great starting point but I knew I would need more than 1″ worth of space. I went out and bought myself a 2″ binder and even that is too small. I am thinking I may have to upgrade again.

While you go through each meeting and class you are going to be given more and more information. As I have stated previously I would suggest you keep all of that stuff together. You have no idea what you may need again and again. Thus my binder in all it’s glory was born.

As you can see I kind of blurred out all the information about my doctor and the program. If you are serious about this procedure you need to contact your General Practitioner first and go over what your best options are. They will get you in contact with the right people to take the next steps. Plus, your GP and you should always be on the same page. They are the ones who do your yearly physical and are vested in your everyday health.

Now, my binder on the front and the back hold information, as well as something I got from one of my group meetings. I picked it at random, I closed my eyes and grabbed it out of a box of little supportive messages.

Remember The Now

To me this meant that the person you are now was strong enough to start this journey. When you think you are losing yourself to the depression or angry because you hit a wall you need to remember the person you where when you started the journey. 

Did they know you would get this far? How excited would the past you been at this moment knowing you’ve gone this far. You have already done so much, those classes, group meetings, support pages on Facebook, message boards have all added to this, step by step. This isn’t an overnight thing it takes time and is a lifetime commitment.

So remember the now, remember where you started, remember that feeling when you saw the potential to where you may go and who you hoped you’d become!

As we get into the meat of the journal I have a little pouch for all my pens to live in. You may not need this but I like color I like putting certain information I get in certain colors. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, I am anal retentive about this stuff. It’s how I am wired, I was like this in school too (primary, secondary and college).

So I not only have pens, but a highlighter and a pencil with extra led. It doesn’t hurt to be over prepared. Plus this way you know you always have a writing tool around.

Next, I have a list of all of my known allergies and how I react to them, medications (both prescriptions and over the counter) with their dosages and times you take them, vitamins with the times you take them and how much, medical issues and if you have it when they were diagnosed, short record and when you last got those vaccine boosters, past surgeries with month and year and finally broken bones also with month and year if you are able (I had two broken collarbones and an elbow before I was 7 I don’t really remember what month they happened in).

Spiral notebooks. I have two in my binder. One was for notes from the nutrition group and my actual group support meetings. The second was for notes that I took as I did my research and the lists I made because they were what I found out on my own. You can certainly use loose leaf paper for all of this too, but I find it is easier to keep things together in notebooks.

As you get farther along and get to meet with your surgeon for the first time they may give you a Patient Guide. This holds information on what to expect from the surgery, your mile stones, how to keep track of your food, portion control and exercises. Mine also has a lot of highlighted spots of things I thought was important. They want you to read through this book at least once before your surgery. I read through it 2-3 times so if I had questions I could ask.

Next I have folders. Yep plain old folders. I have one for my food information, such as sample meal plans to what to avoid. The next one was information from the support groups and from the initial meetings. There is a lot that gets handed out, it is good to keep on top of everything. The last folder is doctor and hospital information. You have discharge paperwork, proof of shots gotten (like the flu and other immunizations) you can even put your prescription information in that one.

Behind my food folder is extra things, such as recipes in plastic sleeves that I have created over the past couple of months to help with my portion control and protein intake. There is also food logs, these I suggest you start right away. It gets you into the habit and also allows your doctor and dieticians to know when and what you are eating so they can help you modify it as needed.

Behind my group meeting and classes folder I have the copies of the PowerPoints they gave me. It allows me to have quick access and I am able to reference everything as needed.

Finally in yje two inner pockets that are built into the binder. There I put the papers that have the questions I want to ask, also food labels of  stuff I want to make sure I am able to eat.

Above is an example of that. I brought in this empty bag when I had my preop appointment with my surgeon. This is pasta that is gluten free and have 4 g of protein in it. My doctor told me they want to to stay away from carbs but if I am going to eat a little bit of them, this is a good one to have. It adds to my protein, calcium and iron counts.

I also have in the back pocket information from Bariatric Advantage which has the endorsement of my doctor and dietician. They sell vitamins geared towards gastric surgery people and other protein packed supplements. I also keep my hospital release records papers in this pocket too, because you never know when or who you need to get information from or to. Never hurts to have it all together and filled out so all you have to do is sign and date it when you take it into the various offices.

So yeah this is where I got my binder and everything within it a bit more in-depth than the group of pictures I posted earlier.

[ryqoshay]

How to Handle a Maki: Maki’s First Adventure

Primary Pairing: NicoMaki Words: ~8k Rating: T? Maybe G; I’ve been overcautious as of late it seems AU: RPG Time Frame: ??? Story Arc: Stand Alone

Author’s Note: And now I’m writing a fourth fic... yay?

As with the first chapter of Heavenly Life, this serves as a proof of concept, this time for an idea I had when writing HL (AU). If I’m going to start writing a fantasy, non-canon compliant AU for YohaRiko, why not do so for NicoMaki as well?

Also, major thanks to noelclover for providing inspiration via amazing RPG NicoMaki fanart - links will be provided in the followup post. I consider it an honor and a privilege to have been able to brainstorm ideas with a fellow fanwork creator and pray this work lives up to what was in mind upon creation of the aforementioned art.

Edit: Upon reviewing this chapter for purposes of writing something else, I realized something either didn't copy/past right or didn't save correctly when I originally wrote it in Word. As such, I have added a bit just before Maki's first adventure actually begins. Nothing major, just a bit of in-universe explaining as to why some things ended up as they did.

Maki was happy.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, she was truly, honestly, happy. She had arrived at her destination. And had done so all by herself.

She had not ridden in a fancy carriage owned by her family. Instead, she had walked, despite it taking over a week, not just a few days. Along the way, she had not stopped at the homes of local nobles where she knew she would be showered with gifts and granted the best room and board they could offer. Instead, she had stayed at each town’s tavern, where she had rented a room and had eaten the food provide by said taverns. On the nights she was unable to make it to the next town, she had made do with supplies she had brought with her. The clothes she wore were not ornate in any way and did not sacrifice comfort for style. Instead, they were hearty and durable, would not tear at the slightest of snags, and had no hem that needed to be held up to allow her to move.

And, perhaps most important of all, she had been able to earn money on her own, money not given to her by her wealthy parents simply for being their daughter. She had found many opportunities to sing and perform for coins tossed into her hat to help supplement her finances. Nothing about the journey had been extremely luxurious as far as she was concerned, but it had been enough to get by.

Now she stood in front of an old, but sturdy structure that was smaller than she had been led to believe. Her feet were sore from all of the walking, she had depleted much of her rations, she desperately wanted to bathe and sleep in a bed, and the wonderful aroma wafting through the cracks in the door made her stomach grumble, but she was here. She had finally arrived at the guildhouse of the Yazawa branch of the Adventurer’s Guild.

This particular branch had been suggested to Maki by Rin, the fiancée of her friend Hanayo. The two of them had recently started frequenting this location because they were fond of the manager, one Yazawa Nico. Apparently Hanayo and Nico shared some strange obsession with idols, both ancient and contemporary. Rin didn’t quite understand her fiancée’s fascination with statues but was happy to support her in her research and adventures. Maki definitely didn’t get it either, but she trusted Hanayo and thus had decided her first adventure would be some idol research for this Nico person.

She knocked on the door and awaited a response. Nothing for several minutes. She knocked again, a little harder this time.

“It’s unlocked!” A voice came from within.

Unlocked? Maki glanced from side to side. No guards in sight. Was Nico some sort of mage that warded off intruders via magic? Or perhaps Nico was just that trusting of others in the world? Then again, perhaps in the eyes of a thief, this place didn’t look like it was worth looting?

Memories came to her of all the guards, servants and the like who were ever-present around the noble and royal folk and their property. Though certainly possible, it was difficult to harm or steal from those in higher society, if for no other reason than the sheer number of potential witnesses. Heck even the taverns in which she had stayed often had a handful of people around that could deal with situations. But this place…

“You coming in or not?” The voice called again.

“Right, sorry…” Maki replied, finally opening the door. Immediately, a warm breeze slipped past her, carrying with it a potent burst of the aroma she had smelled earlier, causing her stomach to grumble again. “Hello?” She called into the building

“In the kitchen!”

Maki followed the sounds and smells of cooking. Turning the corner, she stopped in her tracks at the sight before her. Without a doubt, she had found the kitchen and the source of the tantalizing smell. But what struck her was the individual currently preparing what looked like a feast for no less than twenty people. With dark black hair pulled up in youthful twintails that bounced along as she practically danced from pot to spit to chopping board was a girl at least two years younger than her, possibly more.

“Welcome!” The girl said, turning a brilliant smile toward her.

“Uhm… is this the Yazawa Branch Guildhouse?” Maki asked.

“You got the right place. Now what can I do for you?” The girl reached over to stir the pot while she talked.

“I’m supposed to ask for the branch guildmaster, Yazawa Nico?”

“You found her.”

“…” Maki blinked. Surly she was being pranked. There was no way a kid was in charge of a guild, even if just a branch.

“So again, what can I do for you?” The girl repeated her previous question, her smile waning ever so slightly as a bit of impatience seeped into her voice.

“I’d… like to speak with Yazawa Nico.”

The smile dissipated entirely, replaced by a scowl as the girl put a hand on her hip. “That’s me.”

Part of Maki wanted to give her credit for her dedication the act, but she needed to get down to business. “Look, kid…” She cut off as a guttural growl came through the girl’s sneer.

“Onee-chan!” a young voice shouted from the direction of the door.

Immediately, the girl’s smile returned, somehow even brighter than when she had initially greeted Maki. Half a second later, a smaller version of the girl barreled past Maki.

“Cocoa!” Another smaller version appeared. “Don’t run in the kitchen when Onee-sama is cooking!”

“Smell good…” A third voice drawled.

There were four of them? Maki’s gaze shifted among them. They all had vibrant crimson eyes and dark hair, though one’s hair was a bit more on the brown side. And she was pretty sure the shortest one was a boy. Maybe…

“Ah, a guest.” The polite one turned toward Maki and greeted her with a bow. “Are you a new recruit?”

“Maybe?” Maki replied.

“That’s wonderful. Onee-sama may be the No. 1 Guildmaster in the Universe, but it has been difficult for her to get new recruits as of late.”

“Cocoro.” The purported No. 1 Guildmaster said with a disapproving air.

“Sorry, Onee-sama.”

“We’re doing just fine here.”

“My name is Cocoro, by the way.” The girl said, turning back to the guest. “And your name?”

“Maki.”

“It has been nice to meet you, Maki-san.” Cocoro smiled. “I’ll go set the table.” She then told her sister.

“Thanks.” The guildmaster then patted the head of the girl still wrapped around her waist. “Cocoa, go play with Cotaro. I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”

“Alright.” Cocoa replied, detaching herself. “Hi, Maki-san.” She said, running past the redhead.

“So, Princess,” Nico turned her attention to Maki “you got a surname to go with that gorgeous face and rude attitude?”

“Gor… rude? P-Princess?” Maki couldn’t decide what to react to first. “What the heck?”

“That’s what your name means, right? True Princess? What, did your parents hope you would marry into royalty or something?”

“No, I, uhm…”

“What, you gotta problem with people knowing your family name?” Nico’s eyes widened. “Maybe you have a bounty on your head?”

“Buweeh?!” Maki balked. “Bounty? No, that’s not it.” She shook her head. “That’s not it at all.”

“Hrm, a shame.” Nico shrugged. “Could’ve used the reward…”

Maki deadpanned at the other girl. “Nishikino. My name is Nishikino Maki.” Though as soon as she said it, Maki wondered if she shouldn’t have come up with an alias instead of using her real name. Her given name was probably fine, but…

“Nishikino Maki.” Nico repeated. “Has a bit of a regal sound to it.”

Wait, did that mean Nico didn’t know about the clerical clan headed by the Nishikino family? What kind of adventurers guildmaster hadn’t heard of the Nishikino clerics, even if just a backwater branch manager?

“I guess…” Maki admitted, reaching up unconsciously to twirl a strand of hair around a finger.

Nico shrugged it off. “So, back to my still unanswered question, what can I do for you?”

“Rin and Hanayo recommended I come here to get a contract.”

“Beginner adventurer, eh?”

Maki wanted to deny and claim that she had some experience, but Nico continued.

“Yeah, I have a few things we could do.”

“We?”

“Of course. I’ll go with you on your first contract or two; show you the ropes of adventuring and dungeon crawling. Cocoro can watch the place while we’re away and everything will be fine.”

“I see…”

“So, I’ll get the paperwork and gear together later and we can head out in the morning. But for tonight, you can join us for dinner then we’ll see about getting you a room.”

“Alright.” Maki found herself getting a little excited. Despite the hiccup with introductions, things seemed to be going well and she was one step closer to her new life of adventure.

“Anyway, I’m almost done here, so go hang out for a bit, but don’t go upstairs.”

“Huh?”

“NozoEli are up there.”

“Nozoeli…?”

“Sorry, Nozomi and Eli.” Nico corrected. “They’re two people, but since they’re practically attached at the hip, some of us refer to them as NozoEli. Kinda like RinPana, the ones who sent you here.”

“I… don’t get it…?” Maki had never heard her friends referred to in such a way.

“Anyway, they’re up there ‘celebrating’ Eli’s successful hunt, so unless you want to be scarred for life, don’t go up there. Nozomi has been pretty good lately in remembering to cast a spell to soundproof the room, but still usually forgets to lock the door, so if you go into the wrong one…” Nico shook her head as thought to clear unwanted memories.

Seems like not locking doors is commonplace around here, Maki mused to herself.

“Mmm… that smells delicious, Nicocchi.” A voice came from the direction of the stairs.

“The kids are here, Nozomi,” Nico replied without even looking “so you’d better be wearing pants this time.”

“Is a skirt alright?”

“You know what I mean.”

The girl coming down from the upper floor giggled. Long purple hair fell down to her hips and green eyes held a gaze that gave the feeling she knew more than she would ever let on. A smile matched the knowingness of her aura as she noticed Maki.

“Elicchi will be down in a bit.” Nozomi directed toward Nico despite her approaching Maki. “She’s a bit more tired than I am; wore her out a bit, it seems.”

Nico groaned and rolled her eyes.

“Tojo Nozomi.” The purple-haired girl greeted, holding out a hand. “A pleasure to meet you, Maki-chan.”

Maki blinked but accepted the handshake anyway.

“Don’t let her get to you, Nishikino.” Nico spoke up. “She’s like that with pretty much everyone.” She finally turned her attention away from her meal preparation. “You know you could try being a bit more formal at first from time to time, Nozomi.”

“Says the girl calling her Princess.” Nozomi grinned.

“Yeah, but that’s what her name…”

“Oh, is that ready? I’ll bring it out to the table.” She grabbed serving tray filled with carved meat.

“Thanks, but no sneaking a bi… hey! I saw that!”

The purple-haired girl laughed through a mouthful of meat as she made her escape to the dining room.

Nico sighed and shook her head. “Sometimes I wonder why I put up with her…”

“Because I’m your best source for rare components and you know it!” Nozomi called from the other room.

“Yeah, yeah…” Nico made a dismissive motion with her hand despite knowing the other girl couldn’t see it. “Anyway, Nishikino, if you would be so kind as to take this and follow Nozomi, we can eat soon.”

“Maki is fine.” Maki stated as she accepted the platter of crudités.

“Right, and I’ll overlook the kid thing if you call me Nico, the No. 1 Guildmaster in the Universe.”

The redhead couldn’t help deadpanning again.

“Or just Nico.” The raven-haired girl conceded with a smile.

As Maki made her way to the dining room, she found herself wondering if the No. 1 thing had been a joke or a test. Either way, she did feel a bit bad about misjudging the guildmaster’s age. She knew how she felt when being patronized by those older than her due to her age or lack of experience.

Although… had she actually misjudged Nico’s age? She had younger siblings, sure, and was the manager of this branch, but that didn’t mean she had to be any particular age, or even an adult for that matter. Maki was pretty sure she remembered reading the account of a girl who had taken command of a small mercenary guild when she was barely eleven. Not that it really mattered either way, but perhaps she should ask that Nozomi girl.

For better or worse, Maki was unable to inquire about Nico as the moment she made it to the table, a blonde shambled down the stairs, looking like she had just run a marathon. Said blonde introduced herself as Eli and took a seat next to Nozomi who immediately clamped a hand on her leg, earning a disparaging remark from Nico. Cocoro called her other two siblings and once everyone was at the table, they began their meal.

Conversation was lighthearted as full introductions were made and several stories were told. Nozomi insisted Eli tell the epic tale of her hunt earlier that day before sharing a story of her own, one seemingly designed specifically to embarrass Nico in front of the guest. The raven-haired girl fired back with what Maki assumed to be an embarrassing anecdote about Nozomi, but the purple-haired girl merely laughed it off.

All in all, the experience had been quite enjoyable for Maki and stood in stark contrast to the extravagant banquets and parties she had regularly been required to attend growing up. The food was surprisingly on par, simple in appearance, but flavorful and filling. And the company was in an entirely different realm. Nobody was approaching her with the intent of talking themselves up in hopes that she would put in a good word for them with her parents or some other noble. Nobody was sucking up to anyone, in fact. Everyone was just happily enjoying the company and were including her like they had known her for years. It was all a bit… strange, but pleasantly so.

And while she was not accustomed to doing so, Maki had been more than happy to join in clearing the table after the meal. The kids were out the door moments later, leaving the four older girls to relax for the evening.

“I’ll make some tea.” Nozomi offered before heading toward the kitchen.

“Thanks, Nozomi.” Nico replied before turning to Maki. “Now, about the bill.”

The bill? For the meal? “Oh, uhm… alright.” Maki began fumbling for her coin pouch.

“Nicocchi.” Nozomi’s tone held a scolding air despite her playful expression as she turned back toward them. “You know Eli and I provided everything for that meal, right?”

“But I cooked it.” Nico insisted. “My labor has to be worth something.”

“So, are you going to charge your siblings as well?”

“Of course not, they’re family.”

“Alright, then what of the leftovers?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if we were to take what Maki-chan ate out of what Elicchi and I will be taking with us?”

Nico opened her mouth to argue further but paused to think for a moment. “You know what, fine, we’ll just call it all even.” She turned back to Maki. “But standard room and board fees will apply if you want to stay here for the night and have breakfast in the morning.”

“Alright.” Maki pulled out a handful of gold coins from her pouch. “Will this cover it?”

Nico’s eyes bulged. “Ye…” Her voice cracked so she cleared her throat before continuing. “This much is fine.” She said, taking only one of the offered coins. “We can work out a weekly or monthly fee later if you end up sticking around a while. And of course if you join the guild, there is an even bigger discount, and I can deduct it directly from your pay.”

Maki nodded in agreement before the two made their way to the living room to join Eli.

“Tea is ready.” Nozomi announced a few minutes later, carrying a tray toward the fireplace.

“Almost done here.” Nico stated, stacking a few more logs. “Want to do the honors?” She offered, turning to the purple-haired girl.

“Of course.” The mage replied, and with a quick snap, a crackling fire leaped up from the wood. “So, Maki-chan,” she directed her attention toward the redhead “know any good songs?”

“Quite a few, actually.” Maki retrieved her lute. “Any requests?”

Nozomi shrugged. “Bard’s choice.”

“Alright.” Maki agreed and immediately began to play.

Nozomi took a seat next to Eli and leaned into the blonde who put her arm around her as they settled in to enjoy the show.

For her part, Nico sat back and let the stringed melody envelope her. Then the singing started. And for a moment, she wasn’t sure if her heart had merely skipped a beat or stopped altogether. Maki’s voice… it was heavenly. The redhead matched her tone flawlessly with her instrument, blending their harmonies in ways Nico had never imagined possible. And the song. She’d never heard it before, yet it felt so familiar that she found herself wanting to join in.

And then it was over. Nico suddenly remembered to breathe and leaned back into her chair without knowing when she had sat forward.

“Bravo!” Nozomi cheered, disturbing Eli from her trance similar to Nico’s. “Encore!”

Maki smiled at the request and obliged, filling the guildhouse again with music.

Nico had lost track of how many songs were sung but was happy Maki had gone with a few she knew and had let her sing along. Eli and Nozomi started drifting off to the later songs as though they were lullabies and Maki chose slower, softer songs to accommodate. Eventually, with some reluctance, Nico called an end to the concert, reminding Maki that the two of them had an early morning. However, as the other three girls shuffled upstairs, Nico instead headed to her office. The others would sleep, but she still had work to do.

Maki’s eyes opened slowly at what sounded like a knock on her door.

“Time to wake up!” Nico’s voice called from the hallway. “Your breakfast is already getting cold!”

Wearily, Maki sat up, stretched and yawned. With a deep breath through her nose, she inhaled another amazing aroma, a bit different from last night’s but enough to make her stomach grumble. Though part of her wanted to go back to sleep in the surprisingly comfortable, yet simple and small bed, the rest of her wanted more of the guildmaster’s delicious cooking. Thus, she crawled out of bed, wrapped her cape around her shoulders and shambled downstairs.

“Good morning!” Nico greeted her cheerfully, “Who knows when NozoEli will be down, but you and I have a few things to do before we head out.”

“Mmmph…” Was all Maki managed in response before collapsing into a chair at the table.

“Not a morning person, eh?” Nico chuckled. “Well if you’re gonna be an adventurer, we’re going to have to work on that.” She set a steaming cup in front of the redhead. “Here, I’ve found this stuff to be more effective than tea. Not sure where Nozomi gets the beans though.”

“Beans?” Maki lifted the mug to inspect the dark liquid within.

“Yeah, instead of leaves I guess. Strange, I know.” The raven-haired girl shrugged. “But it does the trick and helps me stay awake to concentrate on my duties.”

“Mmm…” Maki hummed after taking her first sip. The brew was definitely different than the tea to which she was accustomed, but not in a bad way. If it was truly more effective than tea, she figured she wouldn’t have a problem getting used to it.

“And here’s your breakfast.” A plate appeared in font of her as well. “I reused some stuff from last night, but the eggs are fresh.” Nico explained before taking a seat herself.

Breakfast proceeded mainly in silence, as Maki’s mind stumbled in getting through her morning fog. However, she did notice Nico seeming to pay particular attention to her with each bite she took, as if evaluating her reactions. Had she done that last night? Maki couldn’t remember. Perhaps the general hubbub of NozoE… Nozomi and Eli, she found it odd to refer to them together, and Nico’s siblings had distracted her?

In any case, Maki was familiar with the behavior as she had watched many chefs, as well as other servants, await the approval of the nobles they served. So, did that mean Nico wanted Maki’s approval?

“That was delicious.” Maki said after her final bite.

“I know, right?” A brilliant smile turned up the guildmaster’s lips. “Nico is the No. 1 Chef in the Universe after all.”

Maki raised an eyebrow. She wouldn’t have gone that far, but she would certainly admit that Nico’s skill exceeded those of at least some chefs she had encountered over the years. And what the heck was with the No. 1 thing? Didn’t she refer to herself as the No. 1 Guildmaster as well? Or did her sister say that? It didn’t matter, either way it quite the strange way to refer to oneself. And presumptuous. There was no way Nico had been able to meet and compare herself to every other guildmaster or chef in the realm, much less the universe.

However, as prideful as the proclamation had been, Maki couldn’t deny that seeing the other girl happy managed to make her happy as well. Nico was quite cute when smiling that brightly.

And on the topic of cuteness, gone were the girlish twintails of the prior night, replaced instead with low, twin buns that managed to increase her visual maturity without diminishing her cuteness. In fact, Nico’s entire outfit was more professional, yet no less adorable. She definitely looked more like a guildmaster today than when they had first met. And the pink pouch on her belt was a fitting highlight, if Maki were to assume the other girl’s color preference.

“So, you’re done?” Nico’s question brought Maki back to reality.

“Uhm, yeah…”

“Very well,” Nico stood and collected the plates “Let me bring these back to the kitchen. Wait here and I’ll get your contract and supplies. Feel free to top off your mug if you want.” She motioned to the carafe of the curious concoction.

Maki was more than happy to partake as she realized she was indeed waking up faster than normal. She sipped at her fresh cup while awaiting Nico’s return.

“Here we go; your Standard Issue Beginner Adventurer’s Pack.” A backpack was set on the table. “And, here is an itemized receipt of everything in it.” Nico held a slip of paper out for Maki to take. “If you feel you don’t need a particular item, or already have one, return it now for a full refund. However, once you leave here, it will be considered used and you’ll only get half price.”

“Half?”

“Standard operating procedure.” Nico explained. “You’ll find the other shopkeeps will all offer the same.”

“Hrm…” Maki began to study the list. “Torches?”

“We’ll be going into a cave, can you see in the dark?”

“No…”

“Do you know any spells the cast light?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then you’ll need a light source. Otherwise you are likely to be eaten by a grue.”

“Eaten? Grue?” Maki blanched. “What the heck?”

“Kidding. Kidding.” Nico laughed. “There have been no reports of grue attacks in this area for at least a few weeks. But do be wary of the occasional gazebo.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Anyway, all adventurers need light eventually, so I include torches in the standard pack. However, due to your apparent finances, I would personally recommend an Everburning Torch. You’ll never need to replace it, unless you lose it, of course. Which reminds me,” She produced another slip “here are a few other upgrades I would recommend.”

“Rope? Why would I need rope?” Maki was still looking at the original list.

Nico sighed. “I could literally spend all day explaining the various uses for rope. Suffice to say every adventurer needs it at some point.”

“What’s a crowbar?”

Nico balked a bit before opening the backpack and retrieving said item. “You can use it to pry things open; doors, chests, and whatnot.” She made a couple motions to demonstrate. “Technically you can use it as a weapon in a pinch, but I’d recommend you use the daggers in here instead.”

“Daggers?”

“Everyone needs a backup weapon or two. We’ll get to your primary weapon in a moment.”

“Alright… Oh, I already have a mirror, soap and these as well.”

“Of course you do.” Nico reached into the backpack to remove the named items.

“What’s a handy haversack?”

Nico’s eyes lit up. “Only one of the best utility items an adventurer can have!”

“It’s a backpack…”

“Not just any backpack! It’s bigger on the inside!”

Maki raised an eyebrow.

“Magic. Extra-dimensional space and all that. In any case, it can hold far more than a regular backpack. And it will magically sort your inventory so whatever you’re looking for will always appear on top for easy retrieval. Keep that lute of yours safe and sound but retrieve it with ease. Feet sore from lugging around a hundred pounds of stuff? The haversack only weighs five, even with everything in it.”

“Alright, I’ll try one.”

“Excellent.” Nico grinned. “I’ll be right back.” She turned and took two steps but paused. “Actually, follow me and bring that pack. We’ll get you a weapon while we’re at it.”

Maki did as instructed and followed the guildmaster into a room full of supplies.

“You’re in luck. This is my last one.” Nico said, taking a backpack off a hook on the wall. “A bargain at twice the price.” She set it down on a counter. “Go ahead and start moving stuff while we talk weapons.”

Maki nodded.

“I noticed you didn’t appear to have a weapon of your own when you arrived, so I’m assuming you stuck to main roads on your way here.” Nico move to a display rack. “But you never know what you’re going to encounter out there in the wild, so you best be prepared. Do you prefer ranged or melee?”

“I’m not sure…?”

“Have you had any archery practice?”

Maki shook her head.

“Melee it is. Now, anyone can swing a blunt object around and cause some damage, but have you had any training with a blade?”

“I had some fencing lessons growing up.”

“Ah, then perhaps you’d be interested in a rapier.” Nico selected a blade and moved over to the other girl.

“Yes, that looks familiar.” Maki nodded, accepting the sword. “It’s quite lovely.”

“I know, right?” The guildmaster puffed out her chest with pride. “Nico is the No 1 Blacksmith in the Universe.”

There it was again. By the gods this girl had one hell of an ego. But while it was starting to get on Maki’s nerves, she couldn’t deny the rapier she now held was indeed of masterwork quality.

“Also, here is you contract for this adventure.” Nico produced a sizable scroll. “Here is your base pay, and a statement about the commission you will earn based on the price of the artifact you retrieve. Please initial here to acknowledge it.” Her finger moved about the page to point things out. “And here we have a section about revival. Check Yes if you wish to be revived upon death, but be aware that the price of materials for the spell as well as all expenses incurred in locating and retrieving your body will be deducted from your pay. Or check No if you do not desire this service. Then initial here to acknowledge your decision.”

“You’re kidding again, right?”

“Not in the slightest. This is just standard contract stuff. But don’t worry too much about it. Where we’re going, even an amateur like you should be fine.”

“Hrm…”

“Anyway, if you check Yes, you will be charged a nominal deposit for the tracking device, which will be refunded upon its return in good and working order. Additional fees may apply for damage to or loss of the device.”

“Tracking device?”

“Something of my own creation.” Nico said, retrieving a small, metallic object from a nearby shelf. “Once it’s registered to you, it will monitor your vitals. If it detects that vitals have ceased, it will start transmitting a signal I can use to locate and revive you.”

“But you’re coming with me right?’

“I am.”

“So, why would I need this?”

“You never know what might happen out there. Maybe we get separated.” Nico explained. “Also, once you’ve registered a device, you can just keep it with you for however long you’re in the area. Heck, NozoEli still have theirs even though it’s been over a year since they last contracted with me.”

“Have either of them needed to use it?”

“That’s privileged information. But while I won’t reveal which clients have made use of this service, I will say that some have. Better safe than sorry.”

Maki thought for a moment before reaching over, checking Yes and initialing next to it.

“Excellent decision.” Nico said with a grin before doing something with the device in her hand. “Alright, place your finger here until it flashes.”

Maki did as asked.

“Perfect. Now just keep this in a pouch or pocket or whatever.” Nico explained handing over the tracker. “Just not in the haversack. I haven’t figured out how to make its sensors work through the extra-dimensional space yet. But I am still working on it. Anyway, please initial here, here and here as well. Then sign all the way down at the bottom.”

“Nico-chan!” a voice called from the entryway.

“Coming!” Nico raised her voice in response. “Finish up with this.” She instructed Maki. “And double check those lists to make sure you have everything you need. We’ll be back by dinner, so you won’t need stuff for overnight, but you’ll still want to be prepared. And of course let me know if you see anything else you want.”

“Alright.” Maki nodded.

And with that, Nico headed to the front door.

“Kotori!” Nico greeted her guest warmly. “It’s been a while. And I know that look. What kind of creature did you bring this time?”

Kotori smiled apologetically and lead the way back outside.

Nico immediately facepalmed. “A lion? Really? Where did you even find…” She glanced up to see the other girl’s eyes brimming with tears. “Fine.” She conceded, despite knowing it was an act. “But carnivores are going to cost extra.”

“Thanks Nico-chan!” The ash-haired girl practically jumped with joy.

“Yeah, yeah.” Nico dismissed. “Maybe you can convince Eli to hunt down some food so I don’t have to buy it.”

“Hunt down what now?” A voice came from behind them.

“Ah, Eli-chan!” Kotori’s attention was drawn to the blonde descending the stairs. “Just who I wanted to see!”

“What’s up, Kotori?” Eli smiled in greeting.

“I received word that a Corrupted boar was recently terrorizing the town of Arcton.” The ash-haired girl explained. “I tracked it to this area and believe it’s heading toward Lerwick.”

“Arcton is fairly well guarded, I can see why it would have moved on.” Eli grimaced. “But Lerwick... If it’s Corrupted enough, it could wipe them out.”

Kotori nodded somberly. “And from the reports, it may be beyond the point where I can save it.”

“Alright, I’ll get my gear and be ready in a bit.” Eli turned halfway to go back upstairs. “Say, do you mind if Nozomi joins us?”

“Of course not. You know I always welcome her company. And her magic might prove useful.”

“I figured you two would be leaving today.” Nico spoke up. “There are bentos in the kitchen for you. Take what you want, and I’ll add them to your bill.”

“Thanks Nico.” Eli tossed over her shoulder.

“I made plenty if you want to buy a few.” Nico offered to Kotori.

“Wonderful.” The other girl clapped her hands together with a smile. “I most certainly will partake.”

“Everything is signed.” Maki said, coming outside. “W-wait, wha?” She stumbled in retreating and found herself leaning awkwardly against the doorframe.

Kotori giggled. “Oh, he won’t bite.” She stroked the mane of the lion laying beside her.

“You’re not going to react that way the first time you encounter a wolf or whatnot, are you, Maki?” Nico asked, taking the paperwork from the redhead.

“Maki?” Kotori tilted her head. “Nishikino Maki?”

Maki blinked. “Uhm… yes…”

“You know her, Kotori?” Nico asked what was on both her and Maki’s minds.

“She’s a friend of Umi-chan.”

“Umi?”

Kotori giggled. “We should work on your knowledge of nobility and royalty, Nico-chan.”

“Hmph.” Nico scoffed. “As if I care about those high class muckety mucks.”

Maki wasn’t sure if she should interject, but she often felt similar, despite, or perhaps because of the fact that she had been raised in said high society. Instead she asked, “Sonoda Umi?”

“That’s right.” Kotori confirmed. “We’ve been friends since childhood, but I haven’t seen her in a few years, unfortunately. Not since…” She trailed off and she diverted her gaze down. “Never mind.” She cleared her throat and looked back up, her smile seeming a bit off. “I wouldn’t’ve expected to find you here, Maki-chan.”

“I’m, uhm… trying my hand as an adventuring bard.” Maki decided to explain.

“I see. That sounds wonderful.” Kotori’s smile softened and become more genuine. “Let me know if you ever want a beastmaster in your party.”

“I will.” Maki agreed.

“Oh yeah, Maki,” Nico spoke up, “change of plans.”

“Hm?”

“Looks like you’ll be going alone today. I have a new pen to build.”

“But…”

“You’ll be fine.” The guildmaster assured. “It’s a simple fetch quest. You’ll be back before dinner. And on the plus side, you’ll earn more because you won’t be charged for my assistance.”

“…” The bard seemed hesitant to agree for a moment before relenting. “Alright.”

Over the next half hour, the girls finished preparing for the day. Eli and Nozomi followed Kotori’s lead to hunt down the boar. Maki began following her map to find the hidden idol. And Nico began gathering materials to build a pen for Kotori’s new beast.

Maki squinted at the map in her hands. After some scrutiny, she looked up at the cliffside. This was the place, right? It had to be. She traced the landmark on the map with her finger as though the action would somehow make things clearer. Well, in any case, if this was indeed the right place, there would have to be a cave entrance somewhere at the base of the cliff.

Still rechecking the map, she took a step forward and…

“Kyaaa!” She shrieked as her boot clipped an exposed root and she stumbled down to her knees. “Ow ow ow oooowww~!” She cried, rolling back into a sitting position.

That was stupid. She chastised herself, inspecting the scrape marks on both knees that were just starting to bleed. Hissing, she quickly brushed away some of the larger chunks of debris. Then, holding a hand over each knee, she began to sing.

A soft red glow appeared between hand and wound and after a few seconds, both were mended. However, despite having fully healed her injury, Maki did not stop singing, mostly because the song was not over. As the melody continued, she fetched a handkerchief and waterskin from her bag. Then, after dampening the cloth, she cleared away the last of the dirt. Finally, she stood back up.

“Ssssing…” A voice like leaves in the wind rasped from behind her.

Startled, Maki spun to face whoever had spoken. “Who…?” She asked, not seeing anybody. “Where…?”

“Ssssing…” The voice repeated.

Up. Maki looked toward the branches above her to see a woman, body half covered in feathers, perched in a nearby tree.

“Who are you?” Maki inquired.

With a flap of wings, the woman descended to hover in front of the redhead. Maki froze as she noticed the bow nocked with a wickedly tipped arrow pointing at her. She doubted she could draw her rapier and close the distance before being hit with one, possibly two arrows.

“Sing!” The bird woman demanded, drawing the bow.

“A-alright…” Maki held out both hands defensively, revealing them to be empty. “I’ll sing…”

And with that, Maki began a new song. One that was different than her healing song, one she hoped would calm and placate.

Sure enough, halfway through the first chorus, the feathered woman lowered her bow. By the second, she had moved to a nearby rock to perch.

“Another.” The winged woman stated as soon as Maki finished.

“Uhm… do you mind if I fetch my instrument from my bag?” Maki inquired.

The bird woman cocked her head to the side with curiosity, but Maki noticed her grip tightening on her bow.

“It’s just a lute.” Maki explained, slowly removing her bag from her shoulders and setting it on the ground in front of her anything she did would be in clear view. “It will make my songs even better.” She assured. Then, careful to avoid sudden movements, she found her lute and pulled just the end out to show that it was not a weapon. Once the bird woman seemed satisfied with the lack of threat from the instrument, she removed it completely and slid its strap over her shoulder.

Maki plucked a few strings to reassure herself the lute was still in tune before strumming a full chord. Satisfied with the results, she began a second song. She watched the feathered woman’s features relax as the melodies washed over her. And while she did not release her bow completely, Maki was pleased to see her grip loosen.

“Another.” The bird woman stated again as the second song concluded.

Maki nodded and started her third song. This time, however, the feathered woman straightened her posture, opened her mouth, and began to sing along. Though initially startled, Maki did not let the unexpected accompaniment detract from her performance. And after a few moments, she allowed herself to be in awe as an almost perfect countermelody was provided to her song. Maki doubted the bird woman knew the song, as it was one she had written herself and had never performed for any non-human individuals; at least not knowingly. This meant the bird woman’s musical intuition was on par, if not exceed her own.

A fourth song. A fifth. A sixth.

Maki honestly felt like she could continue for hours.

A seventh song. An eighth. A ninth.

Maki began to lose count but didn’t care.

And then the feathered woman stood. As though coming out of a trance, Maki slowly focused on her vocal partner of the last… however long it had been.

“Thank you.” The bird woman said with a slight bow. “That was…” She seemed hesitant for a moment “fun” she concluded.

“Yes, it was.” Maki agreed with a smile.

With one more nod of acknowledgment, the woman flapped her wings and took to the trees. Within seconds, she was gone.

Strange. But enjoyable. Maki found herself thinking before continuing her search for the cave.

Nico wiped the sweat off her brow and glared up at the accursed yellow thing above her. In all honesty, it wasn’t a particularly warm day, but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky to block the sun’s rays, nor even a whisper of wind to help cool things off. For a moment she found herself envious of her friends and potential new recruit who were all trekking through shaded forest at this time.

Yellow movement caught the corner of her eye and she turned her gaze toward the lion sleeping nearby. The beast had rolled onto its back and pawed a few times at the air. Nico scoffed. Even the large cat was enjoying the shade of the tree to which it was tethered while she toiled away building its new pen.

Perhaps that should be her next creation; a portable shade device, or perhaps an automated fan. Or maybe even a combination there of? Nico made a mental note to draw up some designs later as she fed another log through her custom milling device.

This was the idol, right? Maki studied the sketch in her hands. It had to be. She held up the parchment near the small statue for a better comparison. Maybe if you ignored this part and added that… She turned the page sideways. Close enough. She grabbed the idol and shoved it in one of the pouches on her belt.

Nico had been mostly right, at least insofar as the ease of locating the idol. Travel to the cave had taken a bit longer, and the monsters had been a bit tougher than indicated, but Maki had made it through. She felt a swell of pride as she made her way back toward the entrance; she had completed her first adventure. On her own. Without any help.

Well, mostly complete. She did still have to make it back to the guildhouse, but that should be easy, right? She flipped the map upside down and headed out of the cave.

Where the heck was Maki? She should have been back by now. Nico checked the distress tracker again. At least the new adventurer was still alive, so that was good. But what was taking her so long?

Did she get lost? No, that couldn’t be the case. Even her younger siblings could figure out how to get to that cave and retrieve the idol within.

Maybe Maki was so much of a beginner that just the hike to the cave wore her out and she was taking extended breaks? Nico tried to remember if the redhead had purchased proper sleeping gear in case she needed to camp out for the night. And rations. Had she brought enough food for an extra day?

Well, whatever the case, her siblings would be arriving for dinner at any moment, so she took one last taste from the pot to make sure it was ready before moving to the dining room to set the table.

A knock on the door made Nico look up from her desk.

“It’s open!” She called.

“I’m back.” Maki’s voice came from the entryway.

About time. Nico thought. “I’m in the office.”

A moment later, the redhead came in the room and immediately stopped to stare at Nico.

“What?” Nico questioned as Maki slowly walked toward her with a strange expression.

“Nico-chan!” Maki threw herself on the guildmaster, knocking her out of her chair.

Nico grunted as she landed on the floor and arms wrapped tightly around her.

Nico-chan? What the heck is going on? Nico’s mind raced through ideas attempting to discern the most likely possibility. However, her thoughts were completely derailed when the redhead nuzzled against her cheek.

“What are you doing?” Nico cried. “Hey, let go of me.” She started to attempt to remove herself from the embrace.

“Noo~~!” Maki whined, hugging tighter.

“Maki, seriously, what are you doing?”

The redhead pulled away just enough to make eye contact. Nico internally cursed her heart for skipping a beat at the sheer adorableness of Maki’s pout.

“Does Nico-chan hate me?” Moisture gathered at the edges of the bard’s eyes.

“No, I just…” The guildmaster struggled to put her words together. “I just want to know what’s going on and why you’re hugging me.”

“I’m hugging Nico-chan because I love Nico-chan.”

“L-love?!”

“Yup!” Maki began snuggling against her again. “I lo~ve Nico-chan so~ much!” She practically sang.

“But, I…” Nico’s head lulled. Wait, what the heck? No. She wasn’t tired. She still had work to do!

“Nico-chan…” Maki sighed with contentment.

Maki was pretty warm… And despite its unexpected nature, her embrace was… pretty comf… No! She wasn’t… ti… No… She refused to… fall…

Nico opened her eyes. Had she fallen asleep? Damn! What time was it? Her mind ticked off all of her remaining duties of the day. Gods, she would be so far behind now. She attempted to sit up, only to find she was being hindered by an arm across her stomach. What the hell?!

The movement caused the arm’s owner to stir and murmur something quietly that sounded not too dissimilar to Nico’s name. She glanced over and immediately recognized tangles of red hair on a head currently trying to close the distance she had just created between them. Why was Maki in her bed with her? And why, by all that was holy, was she so adorable?

“Ah, you’re awake.” The door opened and a purple-haired girl stepped in.

“Nozomi?”

“Good morning.”

“Morning?”

“Afternoon, actually.”

Nico’s eyes widened and she tensed up until a gentle hand landed on her shoulder.

“You slept through the night, and most of the day.” Nozomi smiled at her friend. “But don’t worry. Everything is fine. You obviously needed it. And we all pitched in to take care of things; Elicchi, Kotori-chan, your sisters, even little Cotaro-kun helped a bit.”

Nico stared the other girl for a moment while she processed the information. “How did I get here?” She finally asked. She was pretty sure that when she had collapsed, she had been downstairs.

“Maki-chan insisted on carrying you.”

Maki-chan carried…? “Did she also change my clothes?”

“No, I did that.” Nozomi chuckled at the memory. “Despite her protests.”

“What the heck is going on with her?”

“I think she was cursed by the idol you sent her to retrieve.”

“That can’t be right.” Nico furrowed her brow. “That thing is harmless, certainly not cursed. It’s the same one I’ve used for all beginner adventurers; just keep putting it back for them.”

Nozomi produced a small statue and held it out to the other girl.

“That’s… not the right idol. Where she get that?”

“I’ve no idea.” Nozomi admitted. “You’re the idol expert.”

“Yeah, and I’ve never even seen that in any of my books…”

“Well the only thing I’ve been able to determine is that the curse only seems to be able to affect one person at a time, thus why I’m able to safely hold it.”

“That or the curse is contingent on who actually removes it from its dungeon.” Nico suggested.

“Either way, it certainly seems to bring out some… interesting behavior from your cute new recruit.”

Nico glared at the other girl. “I haven’t recruited her… yet.”

“Oh c’mon, Nicocchi, you and I both know she’s your type.” Nozomi said with a laugh. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you checking her out at dinner the other night. I’ve a feeling you’re enjoying this more than you want to admit, even to yourself.”

Nico sighed and gave another glance toward the still sleeping Maki. Before remembering who was watching, she brushed a stray strand of red out of the girl’s face.

“It would be cuter if the curse didn’t make her so clingy…” Nico decided to try for a balance between conceding Nozomi’s point while retaining some of her initial cantankerousness. The situation did still bother her after all.

“Perhaps.” Nozomi seemed willing to let that stand. “Anyway, I sent word to RinPana, so they’ll be dropping by any day now. I figure Hanayo-chan is the best choice to help you figure out how to ameliorate the curse.” She turned to leave. “Oh, and lunch is ready when you two decide to get out of bed.” She paused and looked over her shoulder with a mischievous grin. “But don’t take too long…” She laughed and easily dodged the pillow Nico threw at her.

Once the purple-haired menace had departed, Nico turned her attention to the sleeping redhead still snuggled against her. While part of her wanted to hop out of bed and get back to her duties, she couldn’t deny that another part wanted to stay where she was. Perhaps… just maybe, a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt… While staring at the ceiling, Nico’s mind started wandering through thoughts on how to handle a cursed Maki.

Author’s Notes continued in Followup Post

[undignifiend]

Trollhunters Fanfic AU idea: Heartstone Sun

A stupidly long ramble about themes I’m obsessed with. Warnings: mentions of people getting eaten, other horror elements, redemption speculation, and pontificating about hatred, dehumanizing propaganda, and the cycle of abuse (and an idea of how to break those three things). I’d love to write this if I can figure out how to do it justice, but that may take a while. Criticism is welcome; I can’t hone an idea to proper sharpness if I don’t see its dull spots.

What if the sun is actually a Heartstone - like The Great Gramma of all Heartstones (in this solar system, at least)? And was placed under an enchantment/curse by a prehistoric human coven that Had Enough because trolls outclassed humans in pretty much every arena, and people were getting eaten with impunity by extremely durable apex predators that laughed at their sticks and slings and fire? It's not like trolls really needed to eat humans - these mofos were powered by the sun (and could probably do crazy magic with all that excess power, to boot) - they just like how we taste.

Though perhaps humans also have a knack for passively absorbing Hearstone energies, and that's what they used to essentially poison the Heartstone against Trollkind? And that same passive absorption is why humans make good supplements for trolls who don't have a Heartstone to rely on, as shown in the comics? Since trolls couldn't gain Heartstone energy directly from the sun during the night, if they were injured and/or had a hankering, they'd have to eat creatures that still could. So maybe trolls tended to mostly eat people at night back then when they needed a quick boost because they couldn't get sunlight? And perhaps this contributed toward a more intense, visceral fear of the dark in humanity's evolution - like our common fear of the dark, but on steroids?

Gunmar's comment about "They try to make the night brighter. They fear the darkness," not only speaks to real human fears of the dark, but a mentality that was essentially beaten into Pleistocene-Era humans by impossibly strong and scary opponents (though I love the idea of some troll groups teaming up with humans and having various mutually-beneficial symbiotic shenanigans).

You could see all manner of behavioral, instinctive differences in these humans based on that. From a death-like, numbing paralysis intended to spare them the agony of their last moments, to an overwhelming itch to hide when it grows dark, to a need to sleep in groups for protection, etc... I imagine most beds in most cultures would be in hidden places within a house. Some cultures might even develop "false bedrooms" as traditional parts of their home to trick trolls or evil spirits that are more inclined to hunt with stealth.

This is partly inspired from a weird experience I had one night where I got this sudden, intense fear, and I've never experienced it since, and I still can't figure out what caused it. But some part of me felt a hostile presence in the woods by the house, and I knew it was far too powerful to fight, and I had the overwhelming urge to shut off all the lights, quiet everything that was making noise, and huddle in a closet until whatever it was passed. "Don't let it know you're here," kept playing in my head. I imagine being a human in this AU, especially in the Bad Old Days, would feel a lot like that.

After the Sun Curse (but before humanity regards trolls as myth), I imagine a common survival rule would be: Travel by day (when trolls can't, or at least have a harder time of it), and hide by night (so you don't run into them; if they find you, make them work for it, don't give yourself away).

Humans in this AU love to fancy themselves apex predators not simply as a power trip, but a denial of their true position in the food chain as prey. They can lie to themselves all they like, but their instincts remember and know better.

So to give humanity a fighting chance, this prehistoric coven developed a powerful spell to make the sun toxic to trolls, which would allow humans safety under the sun, which until then, had been a main source of power and sustenance for trollkind.

As an unforeseen catastrophe of apocalyptic proportions, much of trollkind's lore at the time was lost as they scrambled to deal with this development. Their cultures had to adapt, and new lore and methods of dealing with this catastrophe overtook lost histories (mostly verbal at the time). There was very little evidence left of how the sun was cursed, or that humans were behind it - the coven responsible did their utmost to destroy any sign or record of what they did, knowing that such information would rally trollkind against humankind. And even if trolls were weakened without their most sacred life source, they were still a dangerous enough threat that, if they could cooperate with each other, they'd surely wipe humanity out.

They almost succeeded in destroying all knowledge of it, but a certain tribe connected to a certain Heartstone found out, and their resulting fury at this act of desecration gave rise to Gunmar the Black.

This curse would be a deep source of anger and resentment at humanity for having stolen not only trollkind's ability to roam freely on their own world (which they were the dominant species on), but for poisoning a vital and sacred life-source. This is what Gunmar would be talking about when he talks about 'taking back the surface lands'. It's not just propaganda to him, it's his peoples' birthright, and it was stolen from them, and he emerged to set it right. This coven may have acted out of self-defense, but what they did was an unforgivable act of desecration. Gunmar and his Gumm-Gumms would still see it that way, but over time, as humanity loses their knowledge of trolls and turns their attentions toward each other, the rest of trollkind moves on and adapts and forgets their hatred, or their history of having once owned the world. The Gumm-Gumms are still angry about an ancient injustice, and the rest of trollkind, now believing themselves to have always lived underground, sees this 'take back the surface lands' talk as warmongering propaganda against a group that is seen as relatively ridiculous and tasty, but now off-limits depending on who follows the Pact.

While on that note, I imagine Gunmar would find the Pact outrageous and absurd. Humanity has no end to hold up in return, it's basically a heavy restriction on trolls who have already had so much taken from them. It's adding insult to injury, and that any troll would agree to it galls him to no end.

Before the curse, trolls ate fleshlings because we taste good and are satisfying sources of indirect Heartstone energy. Now, Gumm-Gumms also eat humans as an act of rebellion and punishment for what their ancestors did.

CHARACTER PROFILES:

JIM

I love Jim. But I think I'm going to handle him a bit differently in this AU than how he is in canon because I see an opportunity to say something important and relevant to a possible theme of this AU, and I'm not sure canon Jim would really be up for that.

I love the warm, nurturing, gentle side of Jim, and how he likes taking care of his friends. I love how he loves cooking for them, which is the quintessential nurturing act. I love how protective he is of his friends and his mom, and how even though he has made mistakes, he makes those mistakes with protective intentions. His heart's in the right place. This is the side of Jim who looks at Rule #2: Always Finish the Fight, and says "No," and spares Draal's life, and takes care of Chompsky instead of 'taking care of him', and risks precious time to go back for Nomura. This is the Jim I love, and the side of him I want to focus on in this AU.

And that side of him (it seems to me) clashes rather loudly with the other side of him that refuses to apply Rule #1 to Strickler in favor of rebellious mouthing-off, and treats the deaths of his enemies with sassy quips.

With regards to my attitude about that last part, I blame Faramir from Lord of the Rings. His brief monologue about 'the enemy' was formative for me. He fought to protect his people, and in doing so, he had to kill other people. And he didn’t hide from that fact. He had the strength and honesty to both do what he had to do, and to acknowledge that tragedy. He didn't try to diminish their deaths, and I cannot stress enough how important that is to me to see in a protagonist. So in this idea, Jim can be sassy in some cases, and he will kill if he believes he has to, but #2 is a last resort, and when it comes to that, he won't lie to himself or diminish what has happened.

Seeing someone as an obstacle or problem is a crucial step in making it easy to hurt or kill them, and it's one of the goals of particularly dangerous forms of propaganda: dehumanize the enemy. It's a perspective shift that makes fighting easier, but I believe it's one of the very worst lies we can ever tell ourselves or each other.

Acknowledging someone as a person, and not an obstacle or a problem, is (potentially) a powerful way to break the perception that you yourself are an obstacle or problem. If you want a chance to see someone’s relatability/"humanity", you first have to show yours. And they won’t always see it, and even if they do, they won’t always care – you might be hurt or killed anyway. But I think this re-framing is a crucial step in non-violent conflict resolution (in particularly intense cases). It’s risky as hell, so it’s not very popular, but when successful, it broadens perspectives and opens new paths in their minds. And I think that's a powerful and worthy theme; one that Jim could champion. A better way to Finish The Fight.

GUNMAR

In this AU, Gunmar has plans that stretch far beyond the Eternal Night (which, in this AU, would instead be a cure for the curse). From his perspective, he's trying to piece the world back together after several Apocalyptic-Grade Disasters. He's bitter and stressed, but he has stayed tenacious and ambitious despite millennia of warfare, failure, and being forgotten by the vast majority of the world while trapped in the Darklands. He's trying to lead his people out of a bad situation and restore their birthright, and he's annoyed and angry with the significant number of trolls who accept the current status quo when they could have so much more.

Because Gunmar emerged from a corrupted Heartstone and doesn't seem to have parents (perhaps no tribe/clan/colony? I love the extra-spooky supernatural vibe it grants him) I like the idea of him wanting his own tribe. He had a son whom he seemed to care for, and their regard for each other was the one and only thing in canon (in my mind) that elevated Gunmar. I'd like to capitalize on that in this AU. Gunmar was born tribeless, as a symbol of trollkind's general animosity toward humanity, but he obviously doesn't want to stay tribeless. He wants to establish his own line; he wants to create a future for his descendants to thrive in. His ultimate goal isn't so much about putting humans in their place as it is about giving his own people the prosperous future he thinks they deserve. To those who follow him, he's not their tyrant; he's their hero. His aggression is largely directed at humanity, but his goals are NOT human-centric after all.

Gunmar’s backstory (in canon) fascinates me. He was born from a Heartstone that had been transformed by the trollish population’s animosity toward humankind. I think this was supposed to reflect the classic Evil Corruption you see in a lot of fantasy, and leans on a kind of Victorian notion of "bad breeding" and the idea that because he emerged from evil conditions, he is evil by nature. But I think it’s more interesting to look at it as a wound, because that gives his anger a sharper sense of purpose that I think it otherwise lacks. Gunmar manifested from a rift between two populations, and has used the hatred that formed that wound to try and heal it – by taking the surface world and devouring the impudent humans who stole it. The method of devouring them didn’t simply develop because we taste good – it’s also a punishment, born of that same hatred, that says: “You thought you were better, but you are lesser. You wanted a vaunted place for yourself at great cost to us, but your true place is as nothing more than our food. This is what you deserve for trying to shut me and my kind out of our own world, and poisoning something sacred against us.” (referencing the curse on the Heartstone Sun, not the Killahead Banishment, which would come much later).

That may seem to him like a perfectly reasonable way to fix what he sees himself as (both literally and symbolically) born to fix. But even if all his dreams were to come true, that hatred would persist throughout the myriad abuses he would inflict upon humanity (if he’d bother to keep us around as livestock and/or slaves), and long outlast the last of the human population. It would linger, it would continue to fester, and it would be poised to be unleashed upon whatever other sufficiently threatening group crosses trollkind next. After all, that method ‘worked’ on humanity.

But you don’t quench hatred or fix abuse by indulging it. You fix it by learning (and accepting) the truth: no one is a mere obstacle, object, problem, or hated symbol. You did not deserve the abuses you suffered, but re-creating them and re-living them will not put you in control of them or absolve you in any way. (Though the temporary illusion of control may become addictive, it will remain fleeting and false). Abuse, if you let it define you, begets abuse. If Gunmar had achieved all his goals, sooner or later, he’d see his own reflection in a human born of the horrors he inflicted, and of the hatred humanity would have for him and his kind. This human would not see trollkind as anything other than a problem that they were born to solve, just as Gunmar sees humankind. But this would not surprise him at all, because that’s how Gunmar already thinks humans see trollkind. It’s easy to hate someone if you think they hate you. And it would not matter who would win that conflict, because the hatred and abuse would survive to be re-created and re-lived and inflicted on whoever the winner meets next. Nothing would be learned, and no one would heal.

I don’t know what would show Gunmar the truth, much less in a way that would matter to him. But in keeping with Jim's best tendencies in avoiding Rule #2, I think it's necessary for Jim to make the attempt in this AU. Whether or not this would result in Gunmar getting a redemption arc doesn't exactly matter - this is really about Jim's efforts to be the best guardian he can be for two interlinked worlds with a lot of bad blood between them, and I want to do those efforts justice. I don't currently know how, but I have some idea of where to start.

I think two key parts of non-violent conflict resolution are convincing the other party that 1) you care about the same thing they do, and 2) you either can make it easier to achieve, you see a better path to achieving it, or you may be able to improve the final outcome beyond what they originally thought or hoped was possible.

In this case, the goal for both sides is to heal that ancient wound between trollkind and humankind. It’s the plan that everybody disagrees about. Protagonists and antagonists (often, but not always) both ultimately want the same thing – they just disagree about what that’s supposed to look like, or how to achieve it.

Currently, I think that to truly heal, trolls and humans have to come to terms with each other. This is no small undertaking - it would change the world irrevocably - and might never be fully achieved, even after centuries of dedicated work on both sides. A healthy relationship (regardless of it’s nature) isn’t something you achieve and consider Done; it’s dynamic, it’s lived, it requires constant attention and respect, and the acknowledgment that it may change irrevocably as life throws its weird curve-balls. Most of all, it requires a dedicated effort to understand the other person. The surest way to kill a positive relationship is to allow oneself, during times of hardship, to slip into the mindset of seeing that person as an obstacle, problem, or symbol, rather than continue the effort of trying to understand them or why they’re acting difficult. And that’s just taking failing positive relationships into account. Consider all the hardship that comes from starting from a mindset of seeing people as obstacles or problems, and you could see hate-crimes between the populations. Now consider how many trolls and humans may interact with each other as they try to move forward together, and you can get some idea of how easily everything can fall apart, back into the same attitudes that led to the same wound that Gunmar manifested from.

And that’s not even touching on how trolls would have to watch their strength and their tempers around delicate little humans (even the ornery ones), and how humans would have to put a certain amount of trust, patience, and good faith in a group that was, in the past, known for eating them (and that still thinks they taste delicious). It will be easier for some than for others, but for those others, it may feel impossible.

I’m not saying it can’t be done. I believe it’s necessary and worthwhile. But I also believe it’s important to not downplay how difficult it would be. It would be stressful, it would come with times of crisis and doubt, and some might give up entirely, and it would be up to the rest to persevere despite the inevitable tragic incidents; to be brave, and not take such incidents as proof that peace is impossible. “Fear (if you don’t let it rule you) is but the precursor to valor.”

There would be hate-crimes (committed by both sides) between the groups. And there would be heroes (from both sides) rushing in to stop them. And there would also be vigils, gatherings of both humans and trolls, in honor of the victims who couldn’t be saved in time, and in solidarity, in honor of the peace they’re working for together. And I think, in that act of mourning and solidarity, therein lies their victory.

Love and grief are some of the most powerful, relatable (rather than ‘humanizing’ which is an embarrassingly ironic and limited word, especially in this context) emotions out there. And I think it’s that relatability that has the power to reveal people as more than obstacles or problems.

I doubt witnessing it would cause every Gumm-Gumm to reconsider their stance on humanity, much less Gunmar himself, but it could be a little step toward a better path; a seed of doubt – a check to keep them honest when they try to tell themselves tales of what humans and troll ‘traitors’ want, or deserve.

Another thing I imagine might challenge Gunmar’s perceptions has to do with the Decimaar blade. At first, I wasn’t sure what it’s supposed to symbolize in the show other than as an explanation for why anyone would follow someone so careless with their lives. It would also explain why no one assassinated him while he was weakened and starving in the Darklands. (Curiously, no one else seemed to be starving, and I’m not sure what to make of that. I think I missed something important.)

At first, I thought the Decimaar blade symbolized the ultimate hatred/abuse: it enslaves, it wipes out its victims' identities; it turns people into objects to be used by their master, and obstacles to be rid of by their enemies. There’s no loyalty involved, no sacrifice – nothing of meaning that is gained from willing service is preserved. It is simply the use of others – abuse made manifest. In that, I saw the Decimaar blade as an extension of Gunmar himself; a symptom of the conditions of his birth. The cruel irony here was that he had the power to turn his own people into the exact, flat, threatening (obstacles/problems) monsters humanity expected them to be. So from this, Gunmar wasn’t just born from trollkind’s hatred, but humanity’s, too. And just like with abuse un-dealt with, un-treated, he perpetuates it.

And then I learned that the Decimaar blade was won from Orlagk, so there goes that idea. Or at least the part of it being a part of Gunmar. But somehow now, I feel that helps it fit even better; I don’t currently think the Cycle of Abuse starts with Nature (in the whole Nurture vs Nature argument). I currently think abuse (in all it’s myriad forms, intentional or not) is inherited. Gunmar may have emerged from hateful conditions, and he may have inherited a direct metaphor for coercive abuse, and he may pass it on, but it’s not truly a part of him. Therein lies a little glimmer of hope that he might eventually see it for what it is - what it's doing to him and his people (who he was born to protect and provide for as a leader) - and reject Decimaar not only as a weapon, but as a way of thinking.

I'm a sucker for redemption arcs. I'm not sure I can give Gunmar one, or if I should even try. But I think in this, Jim has to make the effort to try to understand Gunmar and what he wants, and to convince him that there is a better way. Whether this version of Gunmar (eventually - I imagine it wouldn't come easy if it happens at all) takes him up on it or not, I don't know.

IF I go for it, though, I want to do it justice. Redemption is not about forgiveness or acquittal. Redemption is about climbing, no matter how far you’ve fallen, and even if you can never reach the top, you can still try to give others a boost along the way. Redemption (just like a relationship) isn’t achieved; it’s lived. And it doesn't necessarily mean joining the Good Guys. You won't see Gunmar Reformed agonizing about all the blood (human and trollish) he has spilled, or asking "Haven't I redeemed myself?" Gunmar Reformed (at least the way I'd hope to write him) may still have a great deal of contempt for humans in general, but he has learned enough about them that he can no longer see them in simplistic terms. He may privately think on What Could Have Been had he changed his perspective sooner, but he doesn't have the time or patience to dwell on regrets - the world is still hecked up, and he still has work to do (although the nature of that work has changed dramatically). I imagine if Gunmar changes his plans, he'll chase his new objectives his own way. The Trollhunters might have occasional, tenuous, scary, and unpredictable alliances with him when their goals align, but it might be a stretch to call them allies - a lot has happened, both sides are still angry with each other, but they've come to an understanding and have a degree of mutual respect, and can demonstrate enough good faith in one another to surprise each other. Gunmar will still have all his old ferocity, he'll just be channeling it in a new direction.

[g0dblessthefandom]

as if i couldn’t remember shit

The voices are coming along, now to just give them a new story to latch onto. A part of my “Terminator: Dark Fate Back in the Future’ series, this is just a look into some things. Read it here and give it kudos if you like. 

The blunted tip of the blade slammed in Grace’s chest, and she fell to one knee, her weapon clattering to the ground. She wheezed for a moment, trying to catch her breath, bringing her hand to her chest to rub the spot where she’d been hit. It was just muscle memory, as there was no pain there, but she could feel the air constricting in her chest as she tried to stand on unsteady legs. 

A whoosh to her right made her shift her weight, and she turned just as the blade arched towards her again, her long limbs weaving like a dancer out of way, as she somersaulted, grabbing her staff, and defaulting to a ready position. 

“Good. Very good.”

Lucinia nodded approvingly and circled Grace and attacked again, this time doing her best to throw her off balance. 

Grace tried to follow, but stumbled, losing her footing and tumbling backwards, landing splayed out on her back. She tried to catch her breath again, her chest puffing up and down with the effort. 

Lucinia sauntered over to where Grace lay on the floor, laying the blade down gently on her neck. 

“And now you’re dead.” She said, matter of factly. 

Grace pushed the blade away angrily, standing up quickly and threw her staff to the ground. “That’s not fair! You have no idea how heavy all this shit is! It feels like I’m moving underwater.” 

“Oh yes, ‘Play fair!’ we ask the Mark 3 before it stabs us through the chest. ‘Play fair!’ to the Dicer before it takes our limbs. ‘Play fair!’ to the Rev-9 before it decapitates us.” Lucinia advanced on Grace, stabbing her in the chest with each point. “I don’t play fair because they won’t either. You are supposed to be better than us, Grace. You have been given a gift. You are stronger, faster, can hear, see, smell more than any other human who ever lived. You are supposed to be better, act like it.” 

Grace fell back with each poke, her brows furrowed, her face hardened into a mask. When she didn’t reply, Lucinia took another step forward. 

“You are running out of time, and you are failing your Commander. I will kill you myself before I send you back unprepared to watch her die.” 

Grace’s hand, which had been curled into a fist, flew open, and she grabbed the end of the pike, snatching it from Lucinia’s hands, and using the opposite end to knock her feet from under her. She then moved the blade to Lucinia’s throat, pushing gently on the pulse point there. 

No one moved for a moment, and the only sound were the heavy breaths coming from the two women. And then suddenly behind them, a voice. 

“Okay, that’s enough practice for today.”

Dani stood watching the pair, and when Grace didn’t move, she walked over, easily sliding the pike from her tight grasp. 

“Good job, both of you.” She reached down and helped Lucinia to her feet, but before she could turn, Grace was gone, moving with a blindingly fast movement out the door of the training room, slamming it behind her. 

“Commander-,” Luciana began. 

“That was over the line, Corporal. She is trying her best.”

“With all due respect, Commander, her best isn’t good enough. There isn't much time left. We can’t let her ease into this, it has to be done with all due haste. She’s got a deadline.”

Dani sighed, the weight of the current events causing an almost physical discomfort in her chest. She took a moment, collecting herself before she spoke again. “We know there is a deadline. We all know. You know, I know, she knows. We’ll do her a greater service by helping her get where she needs to go, not pushing her towards it. Do you understand my meaning?”

Lucinia looked like she was trying best not to roll her eyes, but she nodded. “Yes, Commander.” 

Dani smiled, in spite of herself. All the time she’d known Lucinia, she knew she could trust her to give her honest opinion, but she also knew that no matter how much they disagreed, their conversations would always end with a ‘Yes, Commander’. That’s why she’d chosen to trust Lucinia with the real reason Grace had joined the augment program, and the real reason she needed to be trained so quickly. 

She patted Lucinia’s shoulder. “She finally got the jump on you, eh? You getting a little long in the tooth, there friend?”

“Not at all, Commander!” Lucinia said, scandalized. “She just caught me by surprise, that’s all. For all that I’ve told her here, Grace is and always has been a terrific fighter.”

“Of course, and that’s why we’re sending her.” 

“Is that so?” 

There was a touch of doubt in Lucinia’s voice, and Dani hurried to soothe it. 

“Of course, Corporal. She volunteered, and let’s not forget, very recently, she saved my life.” 

“That she did. We know that she’ll fight tooth and nail for you. She’ll fight ‘till her very last breath.”

Dani turned serious. “And that’s why you’re here, Corporal, to make sure that she won’t have to.”

Lucinia nodded grimly. 

“Now, I’m off, get some rest. We start fresh in the morning.”

Lucinia saluted, and Dani returned it half heartedly. She was never one for chains of command, and the like, but it gave their little ragtag army a sense of structure, so she abided by it. She managed to stay strictly professional, detached, and commanding in every subject and on every purpose but one. Those who knew her well didn’t mention it, and those who didn’t know her… Well, what did it matter what they thought? She had plenty of soldiers that she could trust and she kept close. She didn’t have to explain herself to anyone. 

Almost no one, anyway. 

Dani found Grace where she usually found her these days. After they had gained more and more ground, Dani had their best scientists begin to research how they could grow food underground. They had settled on a technique that used hydroponics and grow lights, but more advanced than anything that had been used before. The UV light was efficient to a fault, mimicking the arch of sunlight as it would have been on the surface. The area, affectionately called Eden, which stretched nearly three hundred acres across, was one that had been duplicated in hundreds of sites all over the world. At first, Edens were easy targets for Legion, but later, once they were better fortified, they were a steady source of food for their constantly fluctuating population. They were also the only places on Earth where one could experience sunlight, even the artificial kind, on a grand scale. 

Dani walked towards a grove of Van Aken trees, and noted the variety of fruits that grew on it’s branches. Plums, apricots, cherries, nectarines, and more hung heavy on the branches. It would be ready for harvesting soon. She approached slowly, taking a handful of cherries off, and polishing them on her shirt before tossing one to Grace. She sat underneath one tree, leaning against the trunk, her legs pulled tightly to her chest, her head bowed over her knees. 

The cherry thumped harmlessly against her legs, and Dani laughed. 

“I thought you were supposed to have a spidey sense about all dangers.”

Grace didn’t look up, and Dani tried again, settling in beside her, careful not to touch Grace, put close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off of her. 

“Don’t mind Lucinia, Grace. I mean, you know that’s how she is. She’s an intense person. She has been since I’ve known her. She has been since you’ve known her. She’s trying her best, and she doesn’t see that you’re doing the same.”

There was still no response, so Dani nudged Grace gently with her shoulder. 

Finally Grace raised her head, and Dani’s eyes went wide when she realized that Grace had been crying. Grace had probably cried only a handful of times since Dani had known her. Usually moments of great happiness, which in this place were few and far between. Sad tears almost didn’t exist. You became numb to the sad things pretty quickly. Not a day went by before a friend was killed, or a nursery was destroyed, or an important transport disrupted. Loss was the only constant, and pessimism ruled. It made a person hard. It had made Grace hard. Which is why Dani was so surprised to see her like this. 

“I can’t sleep.” Grace began, miserably. 

Dani nodded, and scooted a bit closer, putting an arm around Grace’s shoulders. They were still hot to the touch, but she’d no doubt taken her supplement to counteract the effects. 

“I lie in bed, and I just feel so heavy, so clumsy. But when I move, I can fly lightening fast, and I don’t know how to reconcile the two. And even if I can get to sleep, the slightest sound wakes me up. You never realize how loud this place is until you have super sensitive hearing.”

“We can get them to turn it down until you get used to it-” Dani began. 

“I stubbed my toe on the side of my bed, and I didn’t feel a thing. It’s like I’m a ghost, like I’m some sort of zombie. But at the same time, I have to be more me than I’ve ever been before. I have to fight better than I ever have, and see farther, and hear things. I don’t-” Grace breathed deep, trying to catch the sob that threatened to escape. “I don’t know if I can do it, Dani. I don’t know if I can protect you.”

Her head fell again, and Dani lost all pretense then, wrapping both arms around Grace and pulling her in tight. 

“No, Dani, I’m too heavy, you can’t-”

“Shhh. None of that, come here.”

Grace finally relaxed and Dani pulled her closer. She just relaxed for a moment, her back against the tree. After a moment she spoke up in a small, quiet voice. “You don’t have to do this, you know.” 

Grace’s breathing hitched for a second, but she said nothing. 

“All you have to do is say the word and this whole thing is off. We’ll figure out some other way. We still have teams hat are trying to destroy their device before Legion can use it. There is still time.” 

Grace pulled away, looking desperately into Dani’s eyes. “I want to go, Dani. I have to go. It can’t be anyone else.” 

“Why not, Gracita?”

“Because as long as there is breath in my lungs, I will never let anything happen to you.”

There was a long pause, and Grace noticed how close Dani was to her face. She could feel the short puffs of air from her nose, and see the faint flutter of a pulse on her neck. The wrinkles in the corners of her eyes that were just beginning to show, and the veins underneath her eyelids that stood dark against her amber skin. It was almost like she was seeing her for the first time. Grace took a steadying breath, something in her wanted to reach out, and touch Dani gently, and in ways that she never had before. And may never get the chance to. 

She reached out for her chin, and tilting Dani’s face upward, Grace placed a kiss on each of her eyelids, and then both her cheeks, her forehead, and then her chin. They were both practically panting when she finished, and it took all of Grace’s strength not to press her lips against Dani’s. She pulled away slightly.  

“Dani, I-” she began, but the rest of her sentence was lost when Dani flung herself forward, wrapping her arms around Grace, and slamming her lips against her. Their tongues danced over one another, desperate and searching, until their lips were swollen and their faces flushed. 

When they finally pulled away, Grace looked embarrassed, but Dani pulled her hands into her lap, catching her attention. 

“Hey. Don’t, you’re okay.” She looked up, searching Grace’s expression. “Was that okay?”

Grace smiled, biting her lip. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that. I’m just- It just sucks that we waited so long.”

“Well, there’s a lot to consider. I am the leader of the entire human resistance to Legion after all.” Dani said, resting her forehead against Grace’s. “I’m kind of like your boss.” 

Grace laughed, and Dani was glad to see the last of the worry leave her face. “It’s good to see you smile. I’ve always loved that.” 

“I don’t want to let you down.” Grace became serious. 

“Then go there, and come back. That’s all I need you to do. Come back to me, Gracita.” 

She nodded. “I will keep you safe.”

“And yourself safe.” 

Grace nodded again. 

“I’m glad we worked all that out. Now, let’s go get some food in you, and you can come back to my rooms. I like how warm you are now, you know how cold I always get.” Dani said, rising and taking Grace’s hand. 

There was something bold in Dani’s voice, and Grace looked a little shocked. 

“Daniela Ramos! Are you propositioning me?” 

“Only if you want.” Dani said with a grin. Suddenly her voice turned soft, and she took both of Grace’s hands in hers. 

“Grace, I want to give you-” She stumbled and tried again. “Whatever you want is yours, Grace. I- I love you.” 

Grace gulped and smiled softly. “I just want to be with you, Dani, that’s all I want right now.” 

“Good, then!” Dani said, continuing to lead Grace out of the Eden. “That’s all I want too. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

[virmaxryn-review-blog]

Virmaxryn Reviews

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Last words

Virmaxryn will make sure that your libido is active and you are not feeling tired or fatigued when in bed with our partner. 

[dontdoitluke]

We Could Be Heroes - Ch 10

Sky High AU, but instead, it’s a superhero University.

Summary: Ashton and Jenna practice their powers and Cherice is still a brat.

Chapter: 10/?

Word Count: 1,495

CHAPTER INDEX

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Ashton was so excited about his new piece of equipment that he stayed up all night studying different chemical formulas to practice with. Jenna insisted on staying up with him, no matter how hard he tried to get her to at least take a nap. 

“You’ve got classes in the morning, petal.”

“And?”

“You need to sleep!”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

Ashton rolled his eyes and turned back to his laptop, scrolling through the different lists of healing stones and their properties. Persey had taken him and Jenna to the library earlier that day after he had relaxed a little and helped him pick out a few books about different healing minerals and how they could be used, but he had already skimmed through them and wanted to learn more. His desk was in a state of absolute chaos; open books strewn about, a notepad with chemical formulas listed in no particular order, and a plate with a half-eaten cheese sandwich, just to start with.

Jenna was sat on the floor next to him with a styrofoam cup, practicing with her own powers. She was currently attempting to create a full cup of water from a single drop, but the damn thing didn’t want to grow. It just kept dancing around in the bottom of the cup like a caterpillar on ecstasy. She sighed and set the cup to the side.

“Want me to make you another coffee?”

He hummed in response, holding his cup out to her while writing down the formula for a calcium supplement. As she stood in front of the mini fridge and began mixing his favorite cold brew flavors together, Ashton opened his kit and retrieved his device, which he had now taken to calling a ChemDex. He started small, punching in the formulas for different rocks that were commonly found outside, using his power to bring them to life. His plan was to create a pile of common stones, then he’d move on to creating precious gems. Once he was confident in his ability to do those things with ease, he’d practice making more vitamins, then he would work on combining different stones and vitamins together, and lastly, he would practice shaping and smoothing what he’d created.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three hours and 6 coffee refills later, his desk was now covered with piles and piles of his creations. Shaping these stones was much more difficult than shaping the ones he found in nature, and it took him quite a few tries before he could even smooth out a common pebble. He’d never used his power this much in one go before and he was beginning to feel it draining rapidly, but he was determined to make one last creation before he was drained completely. He quickly punched in two more formulas before putting his ChemDex away, then manipulated the energy into a small lump of silver and a rough-cut orange sapphire. He fused the silver into the sapphire before stretching it into a delicate chain while making sure that each link was connected carefully and after inspecting his work, he wearily turned to Jenna, who was still on the floor next to him.

“Jenna.”

“Ashton.”

“Can you turn around for a second?”

She looked up at him and smirked. “Why? You gonna get naked?”

A soft pink blush spread across his cheeks as he stuck his tongue out at her. “Just turn around, dork.”

Once she was facing away from him, he unhooked the chain and placed it around her neck.

“Thanks for staying with me tonight, petal.”

“Wait, what is this? Ash, what are you getting all syrupy for? That’s Drunk Jenna’s job.”

“No reason, I’m just...” He trailed off, blinking slowly. He didn’t realize how exhausted he was until now. “Happy... that you’re here to... uh, I appreciate you.”

“Ok, you need to sleep NOW,” Jenna said authoritatively, standing and holding on to his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get to bed.”

Without arguing, he allowed her to lead him to his mattress. His hands felt numb and his toes were cold, his entire body felt completely drained of any energy he may have had before as his head fell heavily onto his pillow. Jenna pulled his blanket over him and kissed his forehead.

“Hey, where do you... hah, where ya going?”

“I’m gonna clean up a little.”

He weakly grabbed her wrist, pulling her toward him on the bed. “No, stay. Please?”

“Ah, how could I say no?” she laughed as she climbed under the covers with him, snuggling into his side. “The necklace is beautiful, Ash. Thank you.”

“N-no, you...” Ashton was so tired he couldn’t hold his eyes open any longer, and he could barely form words. He’d never felt this tired before, even after working long shifts at his job, and he hated it.

“Ok, cheeseboy, you’re literally running on empty. Sleep now, make yourself a B12 vitamin tomorrow.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Compared to Cherice’s room, Ashton’s desk chaos was mild. She had empty food containers strewn about in all corners of the room, balled up papers spilling over the waste basket and out onto the floor, dirty clothes piled on the bed and in her chair, and somehow, she ended up getting a slice of pizza with a single bite taken out of it stuck to the ceiling.  

Her room wasn’t the only part of her that was a complete mess. Her hair was tangled, her lips were cracked and dry from picking at the skin, her face was oily and breaking out, and she hadn’t showered since her breakdown on the roof. Currently, she sat hunched over a notebook on her desk, angrily scribbling plans for her take-down of the school.

There was a knock at the door, but she didn’t answer. She stayed bent over her notebook and didn’t acknowledge the visitor until the door opened and a tower of plastic cups was knocked over.

“Excuse you, I didn’t invite you in!”

“Chill out, it’s just me,�� Dee said, kicking some of the cups out of her way. “Girl, it’s only been two days, how did you manage to get a month’s worth of trash built up in two days?”

Cherice rolled her eyes and turned back to her notebook. “I strive to be the best in everything, no matter what it is I’m doing. That includes making messes.”  

Unhappy with the notes she was working on, she ripped the page out of her book, balled it up, and tossed it behind her, where it softly bounced off of Dee’s shoulder.  

“And I’m going to make one hell of a mess of this entire fucking school.”

Dee shook her head and sighed. “I still think you’re taking this too far, Cher. I mean, so what if that girl made you look dumb, like you said? You know you’re not dumb, that’s all that matters.”

“What matters is that I get my point across!” Cherice stood from her chair and stomped over to Dee, pointing her finger at herself. “All those people momentarily forgot who the hell I was, but I’m going to make them remember. I’ll make them remember, and then I’ll make sure they never fucking forget me.”

“Look, if I’m being honest,” Dee sighed, taking a step back and scrunching her nose. “ First of all, you need to brush your teeth. Second, you were the one who gave Persey an attitude to begin with. I think maybe, if you were going to do anything at all, you should-”

“Okay, stop talking now, you’re boring me.” Cherice waved her hand and angrily slid back into her seat to work on her notes. “Leave, if you have nothing important to say, but if you’re going to stay here, help me decide who I should punish first.”

Dee shook her head and moved to sit at the head of Cherice’s bed, scooting a pile of balled up papers out of the way with her foot.  

“You’re making a mistake.”

Cherice was no longer listening. Dee craned her neck to see what she was working on ever so seriously, and upon closer inspection, she realized it was a list of names and classrooms. There was also a map of the school campus with big arrows drawn with black and red markers pointing at the different buildings. It seemed to be depicting where she should start and finish her attack.

“This is fucking stupid,” Dee mumbled under her breath.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

“I said,” she started shakily. “I said, ‘This is fucking stupid’. I’m sorry. It’s whack, man... you’re planning to attack the entire school just because you got embarrassed. I think it’s stupid. And childish.”

Cherice’s face twisted into a look that screamed fury, but then she relaxed suddenly, sighing and setting down her pencil. “Yeah, I know it’s stupid. In the back of my head, I know. I just... I’m so angry. And I can’t give up now.”

“You’re too proud to give up.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t kill anyone, Cher. Just... rough them up a bit.”

“No promises.”

[centralparkpawsblog]

TruDog Spray Me Doggy Dental Spray Review

https://www.centralparkpaws.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/31FLVjxSflL.jpg

  I’m a big fan of dogs with clean teeth and fresh breath.

Not only because Ginger greets me every morning by jumping on the bed and giving me kisses, but also because bad dental health can cause serious health issues[1].

I have no issues with bringing my dogs in for annual dental exams, but Ginger and Calvin have terrible plaque and tartar build-up. So even though we bring them in annually, they need daily dental care.

I do my best to ensure they receive it, but the truth is Ginger is just not a fan of having her teeth brushed.

So, instead of brushing her teeth daily, I use dental chews and other dental products to help keep her teeth reasonably clean throughout the year.

I have tried a variety of products, but the truth is, I’ve yet to find one that compares to daily brushing.

A New Canine Dental Hygiene Product?

Click image for more info

That being said, I got pretty excited when I saw TruDog Spray Me on a Dr. Oz ad.

Not because I think that Dr. Oz rocks or that he’s an expert on dog’s dental health, but just for the sheer fact it was being advertised on Dr. Oz.

I am definitely a skeptic when it comes to products that seem to be too good to be true, but sometimes I do find that needle in the haystack, and who knows?

TruDog Spray Me could be that needle.

Here’s what I learned about TruDog at a glance.

It is a dental spray that claims to clears plaque and tartar in days just by using it daily.

Heck, that sounded pretty good, and honestly, if it worked half that good, I would definitely save some serious moola on dental visits.

What is TruDog?

TruDog Spray Me is a dental spray that claims to controls tartar, freshens bad breath, encourages healthy gums, and boosts the immune system.

It is a daily dental spray that is applied to both sides of the upper and lower teeth.

The liquid “bonds” with your dog’s saliva ensuring full exposure to the teeth.

TruDog has a 60-day money-back satisfaction guarantee.

What I Like about TruDog

I like the idea of a dental spray that replaces the need for daily brushing and expensive dental appointments.

I think that a spray that removes plaque and tartar plus boosts the immune system is pretty incredible.

What I Didn’t Like about TruDog

I am not comfortable with three of the ingredients: grain alcohol, grapeseed oil, and neem seed oil.

All three of these ingredients have the potential to can cause GI upset or significant illness. 

Also, it is not VOHC certified.

The VOHC is the Veterinary Oral Health Council. This group tests various oral health products and will give products that test well their stamp of approval[2].

Who TruDog Works Best for and Who It Doesn’t

Though I am not comfortable using this product with my dogs, there are literally over a thousand reviews from people who did try it.

Greater than 50% of those who tried TruDog Doggy Dental Spray felt the product worked very well for their dogs.

Many consumers on a third-party website stated that they saw results within weeks of using TruDog.

All of those with favorable reviews made no statement of their dogs getting sick or strongly disliking the product. Many consumers even said it was easier to use than brushing.

However, the flip side to that was the negative reviews stating their dogs hated it or even became ill after receiving multiple doses of TruDog.

These consumers were in the minority and only a small percentage of these dog parents mentioned any GI upset from TruDog.

Personally, I believe dogs are like people, and there will always be a group that will be able to physically tolerate foods or chemicals that may cause illness in others. Two of my three dogs suffer from chronic diseases, so I use extreme caution when introducing new products of any kind. 

My Recommendation

I believe that if you have read the ingredients and have weighed the possible risks against the health benefits of keeping your dog’s teeth clean and healthy, that is what is most important.

You know your pup better than anyone and will make the best decision for their wellbeing, and ultimately, you must trust your parental instincts.

I know that through my research of several different products for dogs, there is always a percentage of people who have had a negative experience. There is no product that will work for all dogs.

However, I would caution those that have dogs that are considered high-risk–say, ones that are young, old, or have a chronic illness–that an alternative product might be best.

If you’re still on the fence about TruDog Spray Me, the best option would be to contact your vet and get their feedback on whether or not this is the right product for your dog.

Shop on Amazon

Shop on  Chewy

Alternatives

Effective, but more “hands on!”

The best alternative to using TruDog Spray Me would be to brush your dog’s teeth.

According to Dr. Donnell Hansen DVM, DAVDC from the Dentistry and Oral Surgery department at Blue Pearl Specialty Pet Hospital, the best way to keep your dog’s teeth healthy and clean is to brush your dog’s teeth[3].

She also noted that if supplemental products are used to be sure that they are VOHC certified as those have been tested and proven most effective.

Some of the VOHC approved options are:

Greenies Dental Treats – These are more of a chew than a treat. They are shaped like little toothbrushes and come in a variety of sizes and flavors. According to the VOHC, all sizes and types (grain-free, weight management, senior, and puppy) are all proven to help reduce plaque and tartar. You can find an in-depth review here.

Checkups Chews – The great thing about these chews is they do not contain wheat or chicken so, for dogs with allergies, these might be a good option. These are good to help reduce plaque and tartar.

Member’s Mark Dental Treats – Again, these are chews and not treats. These dental treats are also allergy-friendly; they do contain rice flour, but they don’t have dairy, eggs, gluten, or animal proteins. Per the VOHC, these will help manage plaque and tartar.

Milk Bone Brushing Chews – For the dogs that like chicken, these might be the perfect dental chew. These are a bit flatter than the Greenies so they may be more comfortable for some dogs to eat.They’re better for your dog than original Milk Bones. According to the VOHC, these will work to help manage tartar.

As for water additives and sprays, the only VOHC approved brand is Pet Essential, which can be purchased on their online store or in select vet offices.

I am not saying that products that aren’t certified by the VOHC don’t work.

Many likely do.

However, if you are looking for products that have been tested, then sticking with products with the VOHC stamp is best.

Final Thoughts

For now, I am just going to stick with my dental chews and regular vet visits.

If Ginger were more amenable to allowing me to brush her teeth, I would absolutely do that, but it’s just not worth the fight.

I think that if there weren’t so many health concerns in my household (heart murmurs, IBD, and Cushing’s), then I would be more willing to try TruDog.

I know that some of the products I use, such as dental chews and elk antlers, are not always vet recommended, but I’ve weighed the pros and cons and go with what works for our family.  

This article is not to persuade you to either buy or not buy TruDog Spray Me. It is merely my findings after doing the research.

I hope that I’ve provided you with enough information so you can decide whether or not it’s a good match for your pup.

Resources

https://www.petmd.com/dog/grooming/evr_dg_oral_hygiene_and_your_dogs_health

http://www.vohc.org/all_accepted_products.html

Hanson, D. (2019, September 19). Email interview

The post TruDog Spray Me Doggy Dental Spray Review appeared first on Central Park Paws.

from https://www.centralparkpaws.net/pet-health/trudog-dental-spray-review/

[cyrelia-j]

[fic] Wired (Garak/Bashir/Parmak)

Catching up on a few prompt requests from @1billsookie I decided to do some of these as a continuation of the First Contact universe (where both Garak and Parmak were exiled to DS9). That can be read HERE but isn’t necessary.

Summary: This was one an OT3 version of The Wire. A comedic take on another way that Garak’s implant may have malfunctioned ;)

Warnings: some crack, language, and adult situations but nothing explicit

           “You did what?!” Julian coughs, looking around at the raised eyebrows lowering his voice. Next to him, Parmak takes his glasses off before polishing them absently.

           “It’s ahh… one of those things in Elim’s past that he doesn’t like to talk about,” Parmak murmurs, hinting that the conversation would be better continued in private. Julian isn’t quite sure how they’re going to pull off that feat when Garak is apparently there lying in bed from what Parmak described with a cough and a mumble and an unfortunate accident that he wasn’t quite sure how to correct without Julian’s assistance. Julian had had to drag the information out of his lover - and god, what a wild ride that’s been so far! - which meant that it was likely especially bad since Parmak wasn’t usually the one to obfuscate.

 Apparently Garak has some sort of mysterious “spy implant” and apparently he and Parmak had gotten carried away the last time they were playing with it in Julian’s absence. And now it’s “not working properly.”

             Julian finds Garak lying on the couch back in their shared quarters grimacing in what appears to be pain as he clicks his tongue at the both of them and kneels down next to Garak. It doesn’t look good from the outset, he thinks, pulling his tricorder out running an initial diagnostic.The sweat concerns him, Cardassians usually not perspiring unless the conditions are extreme...

           “God, your temperature is at least two degrees higher than it ought to be,” he says, remember Parmak’s continuing instruction on Cardassian. “So tell me again what exactly the two of you were doing?”

             Silence greets him from Garak (surprisingly) followed a look passing between the two of them. Julian really doesn’t understand what all the fuss is when they’ve already had the “I used to be a nefarious spy- Parmak? Guls and Ancients Parmak couldn’t spy on a retired and blind Legate” talk. Probably Garak and more secrets and more nonsense, so Julian just sighs and wonders if perhaps he ought to just never leave the station again. Right, Sorry, Commander, I know you need your Chief Medical Officer with you but I’m afraid my lovers who are certainly old enough to know better can’t seem to be trusted alone.

             “Really… I don’t even understand how the two of you have been living here all this time without an earlier incident the way you carry on,” Julian grumbles when Parmak elbows Garak in the side and finally explains that the cerebral implant is provided to certain operatives and is only intended to be used in instances of torture to release a flood of endorphins and perhaps well after being there a while not supposing it would ever be used again (“I said, ‘Elim, we should take this as a sign that a change of profession is warranted even once we do return home’”) and bored and a bit tipsy, they got the idea to start fooling around with it.

             “It’s really quite fascinating,” Parmak explains while Garak continues breathing like he’s going into labor. “We had found a way to ahh… modify the device so that it could control a slightly more varied array of functions and be activated remotely-”

           “Remotely,” Julian says flatly as his cursory scans are thankfully showing nothing beyond the increased respirations, temperature, blood pressure, but nothing beyond that and it doesn’t seem like anything that Parmak should need emergency assistance with.

           “Right, Ah and so we’re getting to the problem now. See the device was engineered by an old acquaintance of ours-” (translation- one of their other lovers) “-and it’s worked so effectively until now that-”

             Julian jumps as Parmak is cut off by a pained hiss, a yowl that sounds something akin to two cats in an alley all emanating from Garak’s throat. Garak, who Julian realizes stupidly as he looks closer is fully everted beneath the robe, scales flushed drak, swollen, hot not with fever but Julian is beginning to get a sneaking suspicion that Garak’s brain is not under duress, that his leukocytes are perfectly fine, and that this is all a matter of-

           “So you see, we’re not quite certain how to get it open and I assure you I’ve tried every driver, every key, every seal popper that we have and it’s been nothing but a fool’s errand.”

             And that’s when Julian takes a second look to Parmak now and realizes, that while he may be standing there in his professional lab coat, a look down reveals bare legs and his slippers, and Julian realizes that both of them have only thrown on the most careless layer of clothing. Garak moans again. Parmak hisses at him to stop being so dramatic. Julian feels his eye twitching as he looks back and forth between his two older (but certainly no more mature!) lovers.

 “So let me get this straight. You called me here, postponing a delicate surgery on Morn’s hernia, because you broke the remote to your sex toy?”

             Garak looks about to say something smart but instead flops inelegantly on his stomach starting to rub against the couch cushion sounding pained.

           Parmak at least has the decency to look embarrassed as he explains that he thinks it may be the battery which normally recharges with a quick shake (that he demonstrates with an obscene jerking motion- because of course, Julian why wouldn’t the battery recharge that way?) but notes that nothing is happening except Garak groaning louder and Parmak giving his ass a good swat and…

             And if Julian is being honest, pique, the humidity, Garak’s robe riding up, is starting to make it difficult to stay angry exactly, that emotion starting to twist to something a bit more primitive as he starts examining the dubious looking device (a twenty three centimeter long grey cylinder that’s suspiciously ribbed) realizing that this is honest to God beyond the supplemental engineering courses that he’d taken at Starfleet. Julian’s already turned the thing over a million ways and realizes it may have very well been sealed not to open which begs the question of how is he supposed to repair it or even get a new one. Julian sighs.

 Which means he’s going to have to talk to Miles.

 God help him.

 ---

             “Alright, once more. Yer asking me to take a look at-”

           “The remote control,” Julian answers looking away, rubbing the back of his neck.

           “Right, for a device that you’d rather not say what it’s for…”

           “Right again.”

           “And you don’t know where it came from or who made it…”

           “Right?” Julian answers with an embarrassed cough. “But I...ah left my COM badge there so Kelas can let me know if it’s er… successful,” Julian mumbles pretending not the notice the look that Miles is giving him.

           “Should I be wearing gloves for this?” Miles asks taking a second look at the gray cylindrical device. Julian feels his face heating up having counted on one hand the number of times in his life he’s ever pulled off a visible blush.

 He’s positive that he’s bright red right now as one of the ensigns under Miles raises an eyebrow.

             “It’s a medical device!” Julian yells to a series of softly concealed snickers. Maybe he should’ve caught Miles at home or in private but it really is an emergency so…

           “So the first problem is that the device is Romulan and they used one of their damn smelt sealers. So right away it’s gonna need to be popped, probably break the case but I can replicate something should hold the parts well enough. Problem is the caps the Romulans use are hard to come by if that’s even what it is-” Miles continues as Julian just nods nods, unable to picture much else except that he’d left Garak moaning like an Algorian Mammoth in a biannual heat with Parmak clinically informing them both that they might need to perform an emergency operation if he remained everted longer than a few hours so Julian finds himself tapping his foot much to Miles’ poorly concealed annoyance.

             “Sure sure, whatever you have to do,” Julian rushes out to more irritated mumbling, his damn enhanced hearing catching every whisper of entitled CMO and how it probably is a sex toy and it’s ludicrous that an officer’s sex life is more important than the food replicators which Julian bears all gamely as Miles tells him that is definitely is one of the capacitors and he’s probably gonna have to talk to Quark and just how hard was Julian (it wasn’t me!) jerking the thing any way? “Like I said before,” Julian says with his most pleasant gritted teeth smile, “it’s not a-”

           “Yeah yeah but you see, it charges here by shaking it, which is amazing considerin’ it’s old tech or a mod of some old Earth tech they used to use with copper wire but yeah, Quark probably can get you something-”

             Julian hears him shouting “Yer welcome!” after him, already off and running.

 ---

             “So needless to say,” Julian finishes as Parmak curiously turns the [somehow even more phallic looking] remote around in his hands looking at some of the extra buttons that weren’t there before like the vibrate that Julian swears wasn’t necessary to which Miles just snorted and said “yah sure it’s not”, along with the rotation of the upper half (Boq’ta’s contribution, Julian was cheerfully informed as he just nodded and graciously accepted the repaired device). Still, the transmitter was undamaged so once it was recharged, it was a simple matter to shut it off and lecture both his lovers on the dangers of messing around with such delicate things like the brain.

             Garak had merely answered as he sat rehydrating himself with a tall glass of water and an ice pack on his lap, that a life in exile was no life at all and there were stories of those who’d turned to far worse substance abuses than a little “harmless brain stimulation”. Parmak seemed to take exception to the “no life at all” comment but of course sided with Garak saying that Garak was under a doctor’s care after all, to which Julian snipped that he was a doctor who couldn’t even fix his own remote and that if anyone ought to know better that it was him.

             “You really scared me, you know,” Julian tells them both later, his head on Parmak’s lap enjoying strong fingers massaging his temples. “Please tell me you’re going to just deactivate the thing or at the very least stop using it for recreation.” He looks over at Garak’s who’s examining the remote speculatively, still toggling the different vibrate functions. He doesn’t miss the look that passes between his two Cardassian lovers as they both solicitously vow that they absolutely will not be indulging in any more reckless implant play.

 Well, at least the new remote opens with a few small screws.

[patriotsnet]

What Does The Bible Say About Republicans

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/what-does-the-bible-say-about-republicans/

What Does The Bible Say About Republicans

What Does God Say About Democrats

What Does the Bible Say About 2016 Election – Hidden Secrets Revealed – Republican vs Democrat

Sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ and Saving America

Steven Andrew is leading the nation to reaffirm covenant that the USA follows Jesus Christ. The Bible teaches covenant is the most important action to save lives, restore safety, strengthen the church, and raise godly generations.

testimonials

Michael

I know of no one doing everything they can to help our nation to turn away from wickedness and sin, and turn back to God, like Steven Andrew.;

Craig

Giving to USA Christian Church is the most powerful way to support God’s will for the nation and defend Christianity.

The USA is in a national emergency. Our only hope is to surrender our lives and the nation to God and agree to obey the Lord. We have hope. It is not too late to find Gods mercy. Steven Andrew

People are very concerned. The news shows the USA is in a freedon verses tyranny national emergency. It could even be a life verses death crisis if the nation goes into captivity as happened to Israel and Judhae for their sins. If we want to honor God and have God bless our lives and nation, it is important we know: What does the Bible teach about Democrats?

I am Steven Andrew, the pastor who believes like the founding fathers. I am on a mission from God

Pray

Is the Bible your final authority or do you go by your feelings and own ways?This is Gods opinion, not mine.

For protection and national security, the nation needs to see Democrats hearts the way God does.my This is Gods opinion not my opinion.

Grist Is The Only Nonprofit Newsroom Focused On Exploring Solutions At The Intersection Of Climate And Justice

Our team of journalists remains dedicated to telling stories of climate, justice, and solutions. We aim to inspire more people to talk about climate change and to believe that meaningful change is not only possible but happening right now.;Our in-depth approach to solutions-based journalism takes time and proactive planning, which is why Grist depends on reader support.

This September, become a monthly donor, and your entire yearly amount will be matched. Grist hopes to welcome 200 new monthly members by September 30, and were closing in on our goal! Help us further advance our reporting by giving us the stable, reliable funding we need. Consider becoming a Grist member today to ensure this important work continues and thrives.

Bible Verses Violated By The Republican Party

Please note this article is not another case of a Democrat insulting the Republican party and their religious members.; I dont like either political party and Ive lost hope in the current political system until major changes are made.

While Ive lost most; interest in national politics,; some things still catch my eye. But what bothers me the most, and always gets my attention, is when a politician campaigns on a the premise that their allegiance to their God makes them a better person than the other candidate. Fast forward a few months after their election and there they are obstructing ethical legislation; for their constituents only to make their donors happy.

If a politicians; adherence to the Bible is what makes them a good person and good elected official, what do they become when they no longer adhere to the Bible?

You can understand why I feel my arguments made here are sound: The voting and campaign records of Congress are widely-available public records, and since 7 out of the 10 Bible verses I used are from either Matthew, Mark, Luke or John, meaning that 70% of this is literally the Gospel truth

You May Like: Trump Calls Republicans Idiots

James : 19 Niv: Everyone Should Be Quick To Listen Slow To Speak And Slow To Become Angry

Well THAT’S a big red flag if I ever saw one. Any of the above points show that Donald Trump does not have a reasonable filter. Whatever comes to mind comes straight out of his mouth, especially when he gets angry. If our president acts out in anger, we are going to have a lot of issues on our hands. Can you imagine how he would converse with other world leaders? What would he do if they insulted our government, or heaven forbid, Trump’s hand size? How would he react to negative criticism from countries we very much need to remain on good terms with? Not only is this dangerous, it also gives more reason for people not to respect America. It would say a lot about us if our leader had the same temperament as a two-year old in a time out. A true God following leader would participate in rational discussion, in which all sides are heard and acknowledged.

I’m not trying to tell anybody that Hilary is the Christian candidate we’re looking for. In fact, I don’t even believe we need a Christian candidate at all. This is America, where anybody of any race or religion can do the job. What I am trying to say, is that if you think Donald Trump is your closest bet to having a Christian in office, you’re making the wrong choice.

Your choice matters. Choose wisely.

Abortion Is An Integral Part Of The Vaccine Industry

For you created my inmost being;;you knit me together;in my mothers womb.;Psalm 139:13

The Bible makes clear that life begins at conception. It says that every child is a gift from God . If Jesus were here today, I am not sure if He would be carrying a sign, but we can agree He would be pro-life.

Many are surprised to find that in fact, vaccines do contain;aborted fetal tissue,;including lung and kidney tissue.

This is because scientists grow live vaccines in living tissue. You can find aborted fetal tissue in 23 total vaccines, including:

MMR

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Gop Lawmaker: The Bible Says If A Man Will Not Work He Shall Not Eat

This storys headline;has been corrected. A quote from Rep. Jodey Arringtons remarks at a congressional hearing has also been added.

One lawmaker is citing a godly reference to; justify changes to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program: Rep. Jodey Arrington recently quoted the New Testament to question the strength of current work requirements.

The biblical passage, 2 Thessalonians 3-10, was a rebuttal to one of the hearings expert witnesses, a representative of the Jewish anti-hunger group MAZON. It is also a familiar refrain to anyone who has watched past debates about SNAP.

House Republicans have historically cited the verse if a man will not work, he shall not eat as justification for cutting some adults SNAP benefits. Arrington referenced the verse in a discussion;about increasing the work requirements for unemployed adults on the food stamp program. But critics say that;advances;a pernicious myth about the unemployed who receive SNAP.

The verse in question applies specifically to people who can work or otherwise contribute to society but choose not to, said theologians from several denominations who spoke to The Post. There is a perception, among some voters and lawmakers, that many adult SNAP recipients are exactly this sort of freeloader.

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James : 26 Esv: If Anyone Thinks He Is Religious And Does Not Bridle His Tongue But Deceives His Heart This Person’s Religion Is Worthless

Wow. That was blunt. I commonly hear people say that they like Donald Trump because, “He speaks his mind.” There is a monumental difference between speaking your mind, and throwing words about without caution. The things that Donald Trump has used his platform to say should not only shock you; they should offend you. His words are rash, prejudiced, and hurtful. You don’t believe me? Here are some examples:

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of a**.”

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has well been documented, are various other parts of my body.”

Now I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t sound like the kind of man who has proper control over his tongue to me. Words are some of the greatest indicators of who we are. The president of our country should be able to possess certain qualities, such as engaging in foreign affairs without flying off the handle. Not only is this concerning to our national security, it is also a warning sign of poor character.

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Robert

Great article Jack,Sure a lot of good points you brought up. A lot to ponder as an election grows near.

It seems like the people who get elected reflect the sentiment of the nation. If we are concerned with the economy, we vote for the people we think will fix it. If we are concerned with moral issues, we vote for those we think care about what we care about.

This may also be a way in which God judges, or blesses, a nation. As the individuals of a nation move further from God, they elect representatives that are also further from God. These representatives are then naturally going to be motivated by something other than God and His love. Therefore, the nation suffers.

On the other hand, as the individuals of a nation move closer to God and elect godly representatives, these representatives seek Gods will for themselves and the country. The nation is blessed.

Thanks again for a wonderful, thought-provoking article.

Yours in Christ,

Friendship Is The Goal Of The Gospel

What does the Bible say about voting in 2020?

Christians rightly think about salvation as forgiveness of sins and eternal life. But it is more than this. Jesus gives all who trust him the privilege of being his friends . And what is eternal life, after all? According to Jesus, this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent . He rescued us to forge an intimate relationship with the triune God . God forgives us that we might share in his triune fellowship of love forever.;

In the new creation we will enjoy true friendship with all other believers. Our future is a world of friendship.

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Matthew : 28 Esv: But I Say To You That Everyone Who Looks At A Woman With Lustful Intent Has Already Committed Adultery With Her In His Heart

Now, I’m not trying to single out Donald Trump for having completely natural biological urges. All of humankind has fallen prey to the allure of lust. However, to battle with that in one’s heart and to voice it out loud to others are two completely different things.

The LORD calls men to honor and protect women. Women are handcrafted by God, and they are to be respected. Donald Trump has been quoted saying things that go directly against this God-given duty:

“Grab them by the the p*ssy.”

If that wasn’t vulgar enough for you, here’s a list of adjectives he has publicly used to describe women: Fat. Dog. Pig. Slob. Disgusting animal.

I don’t know what it’s going to take for this country to start valuing women properly, but having this guy in charge isn’t going to do it. As a woman, you should be concerned that a candidate for president is getting away with talking about your demographic like that. As a man, you should be standing up for the women in your life by saying that this is NOT okay! Young girls in this world should not grow up thinking that those words are okay because the President of the United States says them. If we elect this man, that will be the standard our girls will have for the men in their lives.

Exercising Our Civic Responsibility: What The Bible Says About Voting

Before we look at what the Bible says about voting, let us look at how our individual votes count.

Song of Solomon 2:15 says, Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes. Foxes sometimes, in search of food, would enter into the grape orchards and devour the grapes and spoil the crop. However, the little foxes were too small to reach the grape bunches so they would chew on the vines and it would kill the whole vine. Instead of the farmer just losing his crop, he would lose his vine which was more disastrous. Spiritually some things we do or allow that we might think are little or insignificant can also be disastrous for us.

Listed below are some of the little foxes that generally keep us from our civic responsibilities, in the area of voting. The devil uses these lies and others so that he can keep godly men and women away from the polls and get the candidates of his choice elected. If we do nothing, it makes it easy for the enemy to help those who could become the wrong leadership for our nation.

My one vote doesnt count anyway.

Im disillusioned by the whole political process.

Im already too busy to take the time to cast an informed vote, so I just dont vote at all.

Politics are corrupt anyway and as a Christian I dont want to be involved.

What the Bible Says About Voting

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Achieving Racial Justice And Equity

The Bible is very clear that God does not show favoritism, and neither should his followers. So, there is no place for racism in the church or in America. The Democratic Party is absolutely just in standing strong against racism in America.;

Now, personally I think that some of the Democrats policies for eliminating racism are not biblical at all. But the fact still remains: The basic policy position is biblically just.

As the election approaches, remember: As Christians we are called to lead people to Christ, not to an elephant or a donkey. Dont allow your politics to sabotage your witness to unbelievers or your fellowship with believers.;

Our loyalty must be to Christ. So, do some research, and vote in line with the heart of Christ. Lets do our best to vote for right and just leaders, and to pray for righteousness and justice in the hearts of those who are elected.

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church. Join Impacts live outdoor worship service at 9 a.m. Sunday at 17746 George Boulevard in Victorville, or tune in online at 10 a.m. on the Impact Christian Church YouTube channel or Facebook page.

Christianity For Votes: How Republicans Are Using A Religious Facade To Gain Political Power

On full display: Rep. Ted Yoho, in his non-apology to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, remarkably argued, I cannot apologize for my passion or for loving my God, my family, and my country.

Talk of God has been brought into and out of national politics throughout American history, with various partisan and non-partisan causes, but rarely in our history has any political group weaponized faith for political goals as comprehensively as todays Republican Party. Although the name of God has been used as a rallying cry for Republicans for decades, the party that claims to support Christian values has developed a twisted ideology where the mere mention of God has become a license for injustice. Consequently, his name is being thrown out in vain by Republicans who seek to avoid being held responsible for their actions, even when those actions go directly against the Scripture.

The contradictory nature of devotional statements made by GOP;members;was put on full display in a recent scandal in Congress,;when Rep.;Ted;Yoho, R-Florida,;was forced to resign from a Christian organizations;board after publicly exhibiting a behavior profoundly opposite to the values he claimed to stand for.

Yohos non-apology

A powerful political tool

If we want to resemble a hope for uniting and healing;within our;nation, we must rebuke lies, hate and division. We must rejoice in the truth.

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Christians Cannot Serve Both God And The Gop

The Christian right is the backbone of the Republican Party. Christians of all stripes from Catholics to Protestants and evangelicals consistently vote Republican. The core tenets of the modern Republican Party, however, are at stark odds with biblical scripture.

Over the last four decades, few priorities have consumed the Republican Party more than economic policies that benefit the ultra-wealthy. The Ronald Reagan presidency, in particular, ushered in an era where corporate bottom lines took precedence over fair wages for American workers. The rise of the Reagan-Republican ethos, which preaches the elevation of over virtually all other considerations, directly influenced of American jobs to countries with vast pools of cheap labor. Ditto for union-busting and the adoption of job-killing automation in pursuit of maximum profit.

These factors, unsurprisingly, the American middle class. Moreover, Presidents Reagan, George W. Bush and Donald Trump all pursued radical tax policies that overwhelmingly; if not solely; benefitted a small group of exceptionally wealthy Americans at the expense of the working and middle classes.

Republican policies favoring the ultra-affluent, however, stand in stark contrast with biblical scripture. The Bibles condemnations of the wealthy and the accumulation of riches leave zero room for ambiguity.

In short, followers of Christ must choose between God and money.

Property was sold and the proceeds distributed to anyone who had need.