#it's just especially sad in her case bc she thinks she is responsible for it ie. 'you don't love me anymore?'

[chirpsythismorning]

📝 💐 🛼 💔⏪️💭🧊🌄❤️‍🩹

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow by The Shirelles

previous ⏪ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Locorro hunger games Au?

The way I have been letting this ask SIT, fucking m a r i n a t e, bc I am So fucking bad at Hunger Games aus. It's??? So sad??? And like I struggle to conceive any Hunger Games au in any fandom where they aren't just carbon copies of Peeta and Katniss. BUT, I think I figured it out bear with me:

-Okay so Spider is our Peeta core kid, obviously. He lives with his foster family in the nicer (whiter) part of town (sorry we also have to stick with The Hunger Games' hidden racial allegories because bOY OH BOY do they fit here). The Sully's live in the nice part too, bc our main man Jake Sully won the Hunger Games when he was younger. Jake was really injured in his games, and he can't walk and gets around in a wheelchair.

-(I cannot decide if Neytiri should also have been in the games and thats where her and Jake met, they finagled their two way victory but the cost was Jake's legs. It's so juicy cause I imagine they never knew each other before the games, but it happens almost like canon; Neytiri saves him for reasons almost unknown to her, and in response Jake is like 'oh, I Will die for this lady, cool," and they become unwilling allies until Neytiri just refuses to let him die at the end. Then he just up and goes home with her, there's nothing for him back in his district, and Mo'at just like essentially adopts him. I kinda love it but I refuse to devolve into a Jeytiri idea again in the middle of worldbuilding a headcanon unrelated to them).

-The family are honestly never at their nice big mansion, they spend ALL their time in the woods with Mo'at, learning everything they can about their indigenous culture and using their skills. Jeytiri have been training the kids since like the day they were born, just in case. That being said, the only reason they haven't fully run off to live in the woods by themselves yet is because of Jake's legs. He can't function in the forest well on wheels, and the process of making him one that moves well in the forest has been years in the making because of how secretive it is. Only the three of them and bestie Norm Spellman (their stylist, I'm sure) know.

-Spider met Kiri and Lo'ak at school, and they saw him getting picked on by one of his foster brothers, so they just like adopt him. He's been chilling in the woods with them training for almost as long.

-OH Grace was def Jake's mentor in the games. Trudy was his friend that went in with him. Neytiri def went in with Tsu'tey, who totally died dramatically for her and was thrilled to rejoin Sylwanin who died in the games like five or so years before. I'd imagine Eytukan was killed during an uprising he started while Neytiri was in the games. Jake probably volunteered for Tommy. See, we've devolved into Jeytiri again!

-Focusing up; Spider and Lo'ak have been in love forever but neither has said anything to the other, they are keeping that shit tIGHT to the vest. Or, as tight as one of those clear backpacks can be. Everyone has known this since they were like, twelve, except them. Neytiri is always a tad skeptical of Spider, he's not one of them and he hasn't proven himself like Jake. She is never hostile, just slightly cold.

-I think that Spider was chosen at the reaping, but I can totally see him volunteering for Lo'ak as well. I think whatever you like best, but the second option is brUTAL. Jeytiri and Mo'at have been planning for so long what to do if one of the kids got reaped and they had to put their escape plan into action and cut themselves off from society, but no one had really given a thought to what would happen if SPIDER was reaped. They aren't his family, and they have no chance to get to him now. They briefly consider leaving, but the kids are all beside themselves. Lo'ak is like catatonic, especially if Spider volunteered for him! Jake and Neytiri decide they might have a shot if they're his mentors, something neither of them ever do.

-But before they can try to go visit and get to Spider before he's carted off, Quaritch shows up, all big and bad Peacekeeper from the capital, and takes Spider like "I'm the only mentor you need kid, fuck those tree hugging losers, that one doesn't eve have working legs!"

-Rip Lo'ak chasing after the train like it's a romcom.

-I just think it's sO FITTING to imagine the Sully's forced to watch all of Spider's torture and suffering TELEVISED ON THEIR SCREENS after they fucked up not including him in the plan, but at the same time the canon divergence of it is how hard they are working to get in contact, be his proper mentors, and rescue him. The concept fits so well into the bare bones of Avatar 2 but with added ~spice~

-Not enough locorro, I know, but you know Spider's coming back all sorts of brain damaged and Lo'ak like, literally becomes permanently glued to him.

[0xo]

that post about trying to break cycles by being nothing like ur abuser but actually failing to grow better behaviors... (tw lots of talk of suicide and death, mentions of abuse)

really hitting hard rn considering the death of my uncle who hated his (admittedly terrible) father but ended up perpetuating the same exact bullshit onto his wife and kids. and then died bc he couldn't face that fact. like when faced w divorce and the idea of losing his control over his family he... fucked off and died. (still don't have details on how, unsure if it was on purpose but. signs point to...) [AND PREFACING WITH: i do NOT think all people who die by suicide are cowardly or bad people or anything like that. i am talking about a very specific and complicated situation in my own family. please do not interpret this as me saying that all people who die by suicide were bad people/dodging responsibility/could've "worked harder to improve their situation." i know deeply that that is NOT the case, i have been personally impacted by suicide in other ways. i am just discussing one person and the circumstances around his death.]

and of course im sad, we were close once, he is family. ofc im sad he felt dying was better than trying to sort out his life or trying to be a good coparent. but the way he treated his (very sweet, very patient) wife was deeply unacceptable to me. he isolated her, and didn't properly care for his high-support needs autistic kids, and pinned it all on her. he was terrible to my mother and forced all my grandma's end of life care on my mother. he hurt us a lot with his behavior.

and like. i don't think he necessarily deserved to die bc of it, right? he had his own issues, he cut himself off too and refused help from everyone, these problems run in the family and he knew that and still wouldn't accept help. and you can't MAKE anyone accept help. but i can't help but think that if he'd, maybe, been open to the people who loved him, he could've... restructured. he was so smart, so clever, so creative! he could've done anything he wanted to, he was so good at anything he tried.

and yet. in trying to avoid being like his father. he ended up doing all the same things. and i think that was too much for him to handle. and i hate that, i hate that so much.

he leaves behind two brilliant, brilliant children - they're SO CLEVER. but he couldn't accept their support needs and didn't treat them well. they don't even know he's dead yet, i don't think. but they love him, and he saw them as manipulative and trying to intentionally ruin his life. they're small children. they haven't even developed the capability to manipulate yet, they just want some chocolate milk, right? and yet he compared those kids to his father.

it just hurts. this wasn't necessary. my poor fucking mum is now an orphan with two dead siblings. how is she meant to deal with all this? how is she supposed to reconcile the grief of his needless death with the absolutely shit way he treated her and their mother?

luckily we love his widow very much and we will make sure she and the kids are okay. but i truly don't understand anything. it just sucks balls to watch someone ruin their own life and leave a giant fucked up mess behind. and then everyone's saying sorry and apologizing for my loss, like i didn't lose him years ago, like we were still close, like i'm not angry with the way he treated the people around him. we grew up like siblings. but that connection was basically severed when he started acting like a jackass. i don't know how to respond to people trying to comfort me. they all assume i'm really really sad, and i am, but i'm also pissed off, and i don't think anyone knows what to do with that.

because you're not supposed to be pissed at someone for dying, especially if it's probably suicide, you're meant to be tragically sad. you're not supposed to say they were wrong, you're supposed to apologize for being wrong and not seeing the signs earlier, you're supposed to be sorry. and you're not supposed to speak ill of the dead, even if they were fucking complicated, you're meant to shove all those negative emotions aside to grieve the good of them.

and i do grieve the good of him! i grieve the family member he could've been if he had actually broken cycles! but i'm fucking angry. you don't get to treat everyone around you like shit and then kill yourself to get out of being remembered as an asshole. it doesn't work like that. you're still an asshole, now you're just dead and can't take responsibility for fucking up people's lives. i'm sorry he felt that was the best way out. AND good god, he was a grown man with every opportunity to improve himself. and he chose to stagnate and be fucking mean. dying in a shit way doesn't erase that.

and like, listen, i understand that people are complicated. i don't think everyone who dies by suicide is an asshole. MOST people who do were genuinely failed by the people and systems around them, they weren't bad people, they were in bad situations. they didn't have help or a way out. it's not inherently selfish or evil, it's fucking devastatingly sad.

and mental illness is complicated and hard. like. hm. i don't think it's his fault he was fucked up, it runs heavy in our family, he was traumatized too. but. he talked so much about growing past that and then just... didn't. he had support, he had a good therapist, he talked the talk. and didn't walk the walk AT ALL. he treated people like dirt. and i understand that certain illness our family is prone to, they make it extremely hard to get or accept help, okay? i get that. i really do. but you can't just fall back on mental illness and trauma as an excuse for financially/emotionally abusing your wife and neglecting-to-the-point-of-abusing your children. it wasn't okay when his dad did it and it's not okay that he did it. and what makes it worse is that he was so aware of how fucked up his childhood made him, and self-aware enough to superficially recognize his own faults, but not enough to change how he interacted with people. why must these cycles continue! why!

i'm so angry and so sad. i don't even know my cousins well because he was so ashamed of how poorly he treated them that he cut us off from them. he hated my mum and so held me at arm's length to avoid interacting with her in any capacity. they're sweet kids...

anyways. sorry. im just so so so so so so so so so tired of death in my family and abuse cycles. im so tired in general and these giant unnameable unfathomable emotions don't help. i feel like the suicide element makes it even harder to talk about, because i sound like an absolute cunt for saying any of this to people who don't know the situation. nothing about it is simple. nothing about it is easy. i don't know what to do anymore at all tbh!!!!!!

[away-ward]

I’m your last ask and I think Will would 100% be petty. I kinda wish there was like a freshman who had a little crush on her and he would get jealous of him bc Emmy might have been nice to him or something. Maybe she didn’t even realize it like you said. I know where you stand about the jealousy trope. And I know that Adían was like there but he was never even a choice.

I don't mean to say that Will can't be jealous - he obviously is. He's jealous for her attention, her affection, her touch. We see that in the way that he doesn't want Emory to answer Martin's call. We see it in how suspicious he is of her and Damon when they were simply in the same part of town around the same time. We see that in the way he doesn't want Emory and Adyin to have any kind of friendship. It's not just because of how Will feels about Adyin. We see it in how Will has to mentally let go of even the idea that Emory's been with other men. He hasn't talked to her about this, but he's clearly agonized over it. He wants Emory to himself and she keeps giving her love and attention to other men. She prioritizes them above him, and he can't stand it.

So I struggled with the idea since to me he was jealous and we saw it. Why would we need to see it written in my style?

I think when people are asking for that specific feature, they want Will to be more showy in how he displays that jealousy. To fight for her and to be possessive - so much so that there's no way she can doubt where he stands. But for me, that falls on the grovelling side of things. Will isn't as open with his emotions as he pretends to be, and especially not "bad" emotions like jealousy, anger, sadness, and disappointment, that would make him appear weak or vulnerable.

It's never about what choices Emory had. Will's jealousy is quiet until he can't hold it back anymore. Then he tries to physically fight whatever is the cause of that jealousy. The only time he ever went after her was with Damon and he was drunk. If that's the case, then anytime Will got into a fight with anyone, you could assume it's because they made eyes at Emory; smiled in her direction a little too long; tried to flirt with her in the lunch line; said something to a buddy about how hot she was. Emory would never know.

To clarify since it sounds like I contradicted my previous response: I think physically fighting someone who has a crush is petty. Unless they're making actual moves and affecting his relationship (which was non-existent), or trying to get physical with Emory when she clearly doesn't want it, any interference on Will's part is simply to make himself feel better which is pretty petty.

Also, I hadn't previously considered how often Will tries to fight his problems away with only his fists. Will has one solution to any major problem, and it's "punch it and see if that helps."

[spicyicymeloncat]

It’s 4am it’s angst o’clock so here’s ninja attachment issues:

I feel like everyone has attachment issues but like Zane in particular sticks to people like a sad puppy. After wu finally grew up again after s9, Zane would not let him leave the house alone and because incredibly over protective (hence him jumping in front wu every time anything happens ever). Especially after s11, Zane does not like to be left alone, he’ll start to disassociate. Whenever someone leaves he’ll try not to look sad but he will be, and whenever he does any solo missions, he does so out of necessity and so tries to put on a brave face. He’s still kinda in denial about it all but everyone else kinda knows and always have a buddy system, and get worried if Zane is alone.

Kai also does not like being left alone but unfortunately his response to anything is isolating himself. No one is allowed to leave him but he will storm off when he’s upset, only for a few minutes later he’ll realise that he actually did not want to be alone. He’s caught between trying to do things alone because he had to in his childhood but also feeling very scared of reliving said lonely childhood. Whenever Kai feels bad about himself he basically punishes himself by isolating himself but he’s trying to break that habit. So yeah he likes company and will often drive with someone on the phone (Pixal usually just because they are driving phone call buddies).

Jay is more of an introvert and definitely needs his alone time but he also requires validation every five minutes and can be really clingy and overwhelming when he is around people (which in turn is the reason why his social battery is so low, he’s draining even to himself). He definitely didn’t have that many friends before the ninja and so he’s kinda insecure and tries really hard to be around people bc insecurities. Jay’s just one of those types who assumes everyone’s default opinion of him is bad so he’s always trying to prove himself. And he thinks if people don’t want to spend every moment with him then he’s doing something wrong, and also if he doesn’t spend all the time with them then he’s conveying that he doesn’t like them. It stresses him out and leads him to try and over plan dates and occasions because it has to be perfect. Again like Kai, he’s trying to change that mindset and learn self love, and take space for himself and valuing quality time over quantity.

Cole was someone who tries to leave before he got attached, he’s family trauma making him hesitant when opening up. He’s also more on the introverted side and especially in times of hardship he just wants to be alone because people are pressure yknow. He finds it hard to rely on others and would and could disappear into the mountains for months if he thought he should. He often won’t speak his mind due to a low self esteem and he does go off on his own because he doesn’t want to bother anyone else with his problems. However, he also tries his best to accommodate for everyone else meaning he ends up internalising his own needs to stay with them. Also he’s acts really friendly unintentionally so even when he does run off he can’t help but make other friends, because usually they’re in a similar position to him (the rule of the socially awkward: make socialise best with other awkward people). He needs his space but Cole also needs to be reminded to not take on too much all on his own.

Nya is also someone who would totally isolate herself. Like Kai, being alone isn’t ideal but instead of just hating it, Nya just got used to it, and doesn’t have very high expectations for commitment. That’s why she was initially uncomfortable with the level of attention Jay gives her, or why her response to the group disbanding in s3/4 was to chug on and build a boat. Nya kinda just expects people to leave and doesn’t put in a lot of effort because of that. Like someone who used to be very clingy but then the worst case scenario came true and she no longer cares. But as time went on, she’s slowly beginning to trust and depend on the group more and is slowly healing. She’s still in the process of it all especially demonstrated in Seabound where she still couldn’t trust her mother enough to fully spend time with her.

Lloyd literally hyperfixates on every interaction ever. He tries so hard to please every single person he meets because he feels the pressure of being the green ninja, and he’s overly trusting - firstly about the nature of the people he meets and secondly, about his ability to help them. He’s kinda got an “I can fix them” complex since what happened with pre s8 Garmadon. When he first started living with the ninja, he didn’t exactly feel at home and so was a lot less sociable with them but at the same time was incredibly lonely. Although from seasons 3-7 he definitely got more emotionally dependant on others since getting kidnapped by the overlord, the group split up, his dad dying, and being possessed, but after s7 he regained confidence to start working solo. I also hc that s8 was when he physically turned 18 so by then he was kinda wanting more independence (especially because the ninja are a lot more smothering and the household is never quiet) and took on more solo missions. Lloyd is still incredible awkward talking to people outside the family especially since he didn’t have a lot of time to socialise tho. I guess all in all he’s on the more nonsocial side.

Gotta put wu, elemental master of having no friends sticking around, in here as well. Wu has seen many people come and go and usually they just leave him and he’s come to expect it. However he usually takes it as a failure on his part and will spend the rest of time being sad about it and would not continue to try and meet other people since Garmadon left. The only thing driving him to not become a complete hermit was the green ninja prophecy, and he accidentally let himself get attached to all his students. That’s another thing, Wu gets really easily attached, he’s pretty desperate to prove himself (which is why it hurts when they leave). But his attachment to the people around him, is also what causes him to push them away, because he felt he’s failed too many times and also because he wants to keep them safe.

[pinksirensong]

ok but what about this

yn is matt murdock ex-wife, they divorce bc matt cheat on her w elektra, but now she have a established relationship w morpheus and he loves her so so so so bad

one day, matt comes again, completely sad, broken and regretful bc he realizes that yn is the love of his life and not elektra (she doesn't mean anything), and yn loves matt a lot, but she also loves so hard morpheus

how this could be? how could be the interaction and rivality between matt and morpheus?

I don't know it that was a request because I never had one, so if it wasn't I'm sorry?? ANYWAY, I believe that even with Y/N still loving Matt she couldn't be in love with him. You can love more than one person because there are many kinds of love, but being in love not that's just one at the time (my opinion, of course). Also, interaction?? We know Matt, he would definitely provoke Morpheus and end up having nightmares just like Richard Madoc. Now the one-shot that you inspired me to write.

p.s. - it's so fuckin long, more than the chapters I usually write kkkkk

 - You’re being silly right now, Morpheus. – he should’ve stopped talking after that, because he knew Y/N only called him Morpheus when she was mad at him, it was always “my love” or “my Dream” while he called her “my heart”. Unfortunately Dream of Endless wasn’t smart enough to do so.

 - Am I? You want to leave me to aid your ex-husband at the waking world. Should I be content with that? – Matthew Murdock was Y/N’s ex-husband and a few weeks ago he seeker Johanna Constantine help to find her and ask for her help in bringing Fisk down once for all. Y/N was a lawyer and worked with Matt and Foggy when they started at Nelson&Murdock, they met at college and were the golden trio of Columbia. She was there when the whole Fisk thing started and wanted him to pay for his crimes just like her friends, especially because of what he and his men did to her dear friend Karen. For some time, he was at a secure prison, but then the snap happened and until everyone, including Matt, Foggy and Karen, blipped back Fisk was free to do as he pleased. Y/N was already living with Morpheus at the Dreaming, so she was safe and unaware of most of it.

 - Oh, were you not the one who left me without any explanation to rescue your ex-wife? I only knew about it because of the gossip going around the Dreaming, if it were for you, I would never know about it. Yet I didn’t complain because I knew she needed it and I trust you. I need to go, Fisk is as much as my business as his. I started it too, it’s my responsibility to finish it. – she never spoke about the reason of her divorce, it hurt too much to even think about how it made her feel like not good enough for anyone. Y/N knew that Matt had an affair with Elektra Natchios while they were dating, forgiveness was hard, but she was young and naïve enough to give it to him after weeks of begging for it and declaring his love for her. Looking back now that should’ve been a warning, she should’ve known that the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen couldn’t be trusted. Y/N didn’t know what hurt the most: him cheating on her with Elektra again or the fact that he pretended for months to be dead. It was too much, too much betrayal and too much heartbreak, so she asked for the divorce and left. – I am not leaving you, but maybe it’s for the best if we talk when I come back. Because I will come back, my love. – he wasn’t happy with that, but deep down knew she was right as usual. They parted, but not before sharing one last kiss.

…..........................................................................................................................

Be careful of the Murdock boys, they’ve got the devil in them. It was an old joke, but in Matt’s case it was truth. He did have the devil in him, and no prayer could save his soul now. Matt knew that Y/N was his angel and even that didn’t stop him for ruining everything, he chose his dark side and let Elektra in his life again. It was his biggest regret, losing the love of his life because of something he could’ve avoided. When blipped back he was actually happy about Fisk situation, it was like the universe was giving him a second chance with her, so he grabbed it no matter how hard it was do find her. Matthew didn’t expect to find out that she moved on, now dating a man named Morpheus, but he wouldn’t back down without a fight. Matthew Murdock would fight for Y/N L/N this time, harder than ever. They spent a lot of time together, alongside Foggy and Karen, for two months until they finally put Fisk back in jail with the help of the new Hawkgirl and good old Daredevil. All this time they never saw Morpheus and that made Matt even more hopeful to mend their relationship.

 - Now that we can finally breathe in peace, let’s go to Josie’s and drink like there is no tomorrow, huh? – said Foggy.

 - Oh, sorry but I can’t. It’s been too long, and I just want to go home. – Y/N missed Morpheus, she enjoyed the time with her friends and even Matt but longed to go back to the Dreaming. Seeing Matt’s face, both Foggy and Karen understood that they should leave them alone and that’s what they did, giving poor excuses to going early and waiting for Matt and her, if she changed her mind.

 - I love you, Y/N. I still love you, I’ve never stopped loving you. Please, don’t go. Things won’t be the same, I’m different now and I’ll be the man you deserve. – she tried to talk, but he didn’t let her. – I know you feel something, all this time together it’s…it’s impossible you didn’t feel like the old times when we were married. All of our love and our story, it can’t be over. I know you love me, sweetheart. Please, let me make it up to you. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving my love to you. Please, Y/N. – his eyes were teary, and it hurt her to see him this way.

 - Oh, Matt. – she let him grab her hand be a little close to her, but not too close. – I will always love you, Matthew Murdock. – a chill passed by her, Y/N ignored it thinking it might’ve been the wind from the open window. The truth is that Morpheus chose that exact day to seek her, he missed her everyday and couldn’t stay apart anymore, and he heard what they said, choosing to leave after hearing her professing her love to another man. Meanwhile, Matt was once again full of hope that maybe everything would work out for him, but Y/N was about to crush it. – But I’m not in love with you anymore, and even if I were it could never happen because I could never trust you again. We had good moments and were really happy, but it’s over. I hope you can move on and find someone that will give you what you want, just like me. – she squeezed his hand one last time and left, this time for good.

…..........................................................................................................................

Arriving at the Dreaming wasn’t how she expected, the sky was grey and there were a few thunders. Couldn’t Morpheus feel her, that she was back? Or perhaps he was still angry at her. Y/N could wander between the dreaming and the waking world thanks to a gift Morpheus gave her, a beautiful oval-shaped ruby necklace that contained a little bit of his power. He told her that he once had one that held a huge amount of his power and wished to gift you with a similar one that could allow you to travel to see him as you wished. It was rarely used, most of the times you were there with him because being apart hurt you. Y/N knew that the only person who could heal her wounds were herself, but with him at her side everything was easy. She trusted him, loved him and was so deeply in love that being with anyone else sounded stupid and impossible to her.

 - Oh, Lady Boss, I would not go in there. – she heard Matthew, the raven, warn her as she was about to enter the throne room.

 - Is something wrong?

 - The Boss is not in a good mood. He is not allowing anyone inside, not that we would risk. I mean, have you seen the sky outside?

 - I did, but I’ll risk it anyway. Thank you for warning me, my friend. – giving him one last smile, she entered the room, only to find her lover at his throne with a familiar face. It was his anger face. He didn’t notice her, it looked like his mind was too far away. – Why is the sky so ugly and most important, why is everyone afraid to be close to you right now? I’m back, by the way, just in case you didn’t notice it. – while talking she went closer and closer to where he was. Dream of Endless now not only noticed her as also keep looking directly at her as she walked towards him.

 - Are you back to take your things? – his voice cold but also hurt.

 - I don’t understand. What are you talking about? Are you banishing me or something? Is this about my little trip, because if it’s I think you’re not acting rational right now. I came back, just as promised and…

 - Enough! – he didn’t need to raise his voice, his tone was enough to make her stop talking. Why was he so angry at her? – You came to mock me? I would have never believed that you would do that to me.

 - Can you please explain what’s going on?

 - I heard you, Y/N. – after seeing her confused face he continued. – You told him that you would always love him.

 - Oh, my Dream. My love. – now she understood exactly what was going on with him and it hurt her that she was the cause of it. She stood closer enough to touch him, thankfully he didn’t push her hand away. – You must not have heard the rest of it. I did say it, but not like that. I will always love him, Matt was the first man I’ve ever loved. It’s the same way with you and Nada or Calliope, you’ll always love them and that’s okay. But I’m not in love with him, just like you’re not in love with them. They’re pieces of our pasts and helped made us who we are now, but that’s all. Y/N knelt on the floor and grabbed both of his hands. – I love you and I’m so crazy and deeply in love with you that I’m willing to stay here with you for as long as you’ll have me. My present and my future is with you, I’m yours. He might have been my first, but I wish for you to be my last. – she decided to be even closer, sitting at his lap and holding his face between her hands. – Forgive me for causing you pain, my Dream. I am here now and if you’ll have me, I’ll never leave again without you. Please, believe in me. – now it was his time to close the distance, pulling her to a kiss. She could feel everything in that kiss, how much he loved her and how afraid he was thinking that she would never return to him.

 - You shall never leave then for I will never not want you. I love you, my heart, and I will love you for as long as I am alive. – and once again they were kissing and showing how much they loved each other. A love that would always be endless.

[aeonophagic]

I hope you don't mind my input on otkln

I don't think Kallen being a lesbian is the only reason it doesn't work, I see the dynamic more as unrequited love born from ottos lack of understanding of love in general (otto wasn't really shown love by most of the people in his life and that can affect how he views things) and how in the end it feels more like otto just wanted her to live a proper life

Plus a major thing was that Kallen wouldn't agree with any of the things otto did to save her; and otto probably knows that

I think it being nonromantic brings so much more meaning to Ottos motivation, its not out of desire but a sense of responsibility, this desperation to save the first person to show otto untainted kindness that poeticness is kind of lost whens its just "I want to date this girl", I hope this makes sense sorry for my tangent

Ok so reading the first line I thought oh nooo bcs I rlly dont like talking about it, but this is actually really similar to what I think about it as well, so I’m glad you put it into words because I cant do it without it being emotionally charged. I agree with pretty much all of this so I’m not going to be repeating what you said. As a lesbian myself though her being a lesbian as well is very important to me. I think the purposeful lesbian erasure/denial of her relationship with Sakura of some shippers is heinous, but I don’t want to talk about it because it makes me sad, so let me add some of my own thoughts about why I think Otto is Like That

(though it’s pretty much just what you said except i speak from my experience)

Having only one person who validates you&gives you attention can lead to one-sided dependency (or even worse, in my personal case, codependency) or feelings (I have been through it, I am better now and have been for years, but I have been through it) that might not really be feelings. I especially think this made it difficult for him to distinguish platonic and romantic love in the same way it was for me

As you said, he didn’t want her, he just wanted to be able to give her the life she deserved, because what he did, what his family did, took that away from her

[pinkpastels113]

So like, what's the best thing your crush could have said while still turning you down? I'm flattered doesn't seem so bad to me

-with a smiley face and that she appreciates me saying that

and we are missing the bigger picture here. she led me on (attested to by many of my friends who knew about this) and was calling me pet names like "bae, babe, mi amor," and saying "i love you" (out of nowhere and like we do not hang out outside of work so like we are barely friends outside of being coworkers) and shit like that and just looking at me the way friends do not look at each other and just making me feel like she was kinda interested in me as well. she gets jealous whenever i talk about how someone else is attractive, especially men (im bi), said that im a catch, "a hottie in a hot bod" and literally follows me around everywhere i go. starts touching me more frequently as soon as she figured out that my love language is physical touch, started saying cute shit as soon as i told her it's right above words of affirmation. and mind you, she was not like that at all when i first met her or like that with anyone else, she was usually pretty quiet and kept to herself and doesnt share anything about herself outside of work.

but all of that can be pushed aside. i am not forcing/expecting and will never force/expect anyone to like me, especially after being on the receiving end of "confessions" and hearing them say "but why doesnt she like me???? im tall, fit, go to the gym, and do good in school" what made it bad was that she would tease me incessantly to the point of making me feel like shit, and think that im joking around all the time, that im pouting or whatever when i tell her point blank that im mad/sad/upset/that she's being mean, and that just because i smile at her (which she would literally wheedle out of me) or hug her (bc for some reason i would feel bad sometimes about being upset with her??? when it's my emotions??) i forgive her, when that is not the case. she would say im sorry sometimes, when she's seen that im pissed or she's hit a nerve, but in this weird voice and tone that implies that she's sorry that im mad/upset (bc when i am i am not as affectionate and "cute" or whatever, and my default mood at work is cheerful/friendly and she wants it back??) not of what she said. and there was a time i think where ive explained to her exactly why i wasnt my usual self too and she just... brushes it off?

so my mood/emotions would be literally up and down up and down like a damn roller coaster whenever we work together with her stupid teasing and pet names and "i love you so much's" and touching/loving words, and i would be so confused and sad over what was going on, and cry on the days that were bad. i obv didnt tell her why it affected me so much, bc that involved my crush on her, but just to a normal coworker/friend i feel like you should realize when's the time to stop, especially when i have flat out told you that im mad/sad/upset/that you're being mean or whatever. you know?

and there was no way that she didnt notice that i am not as affectionate and touchy and complimentary and stuff with my other coworkers compared to her.

and so in the response to my confession after that sentence of "im flattered" and that she appreciates me saying that ive fucking had a crush on her for a year and a half and had felt awful at work that day (a bad day in which i had originally planned to confess in-person), she asked me to tell her about what happened specifically that made me feel bad "so that (she) can move forward."

so yeah, in reply to your question anon, i think i was just hoping for a little bit of empathy.

[guardian-angle22]

Much as I would love to see a Muslim/hijabi woman on tv. Most likely wouldn't want to be on tv since it goes against their beliefs. I'm ok with Natacha in this role bc I love her and I appreciate what LS has done with showing respect as the show has continued

[response to my post here]

First off, thank you for the insight/feedback on the accuracy, and the prayer part in particular! I had thought the location she was praying in was inaccurate but that wasn’t something I saw mentioned a lot at the time of the initial backlash to that scene. So I appreciate the information. 💜

I definitely head canon that when Owen rebuilt the firehouse (for the 2nd time!) he made sure there was a dedicated quiet room. Not only would it be important to have for Marjan or anyone else that works at the firehouse with them of Muslim faith to pray in, but also they have stressful and emotional jobs! Having a dedicated safe space at the firehouse to go when you need that kind of quiet privacy just makes sense to me.

As far as the casting part first: I think Natacha has done a great job and I appreciate the fact that she spoke up to the showrunners after hearing feedback from Muslim viewers. and from what I heard of her talking at the most recent convention, she has some great ideas of exploring various intersectionality that is found within that religion and I think that’s great and really hope they do explore some of those things.

My desire for an actual hijabi woman to have been chosen for this part was mainly based off experiences I witnessed from a previous fandom, Skam. IDK if you ever watched it, but the 4th season focused on a Muslim girl in high school, Sana, played by an actress who was actually Muslim, Iman Meskini, who was fantastic. The show writer/creator/producer relied a lot on her knowledge and lived experience when filming things. Then the Skam remakes happened… and another iteration of the show did not bother to get an actual Muslim to play that character and I remember very vividly the negative experiences a lot of the Muslim people in fandom had based off choices that were made and how that character was portrayed. Iman herself spoke up about how much better it was to have someone with the lived experience, who knew what it was like, acting in a role like that. I love this quote from her too: "I never dreamt about being an actress, because I never saw an actress with hijab on. I didn’t even see it as an option or a possibility at all until I became that example that it is possible."

I definitely can appreciate and understand how nuanced the discussion of actors playing parts that aren’t their own experience truly is though. I think the wars that are waged online about actors who play queer parts especially is a big thing happening in culture right now and I truly understand a lot of varying sides to those kinds of discussions. I know it might not always be possible for own voices actors to play parts like this, but I just feel like the best case scenario in a role like Marjan would have been for it to be played by a hijabi woman. That doesn’t mean I think Natacha is in the wrong for taking the role or that it was a terrible mistake for her to have been cast. Just that there was a better scenario that I had hoped for, that didn’t end up happening. and that's okay.

Now the corn silo story: That interview with Natacha where she said there were things that got cut from that storyline makes me really sad because I wish we could have gotten a better resolution to it. Maybe it would have been exactly what you're mentioning here too - clarifying for the viewers that not everyone in the mosque felt that way and it was just pettiness amongst some of them. Sadly, I guess we'll never know exactly what that would have looked like. It makes me a little sad that the only time we've even seen the mosque she goes to was in that episode in season one. I really really hope we get a chance to see some more storylines for Marjan that can include her faith and her mosque but more of how they're positively impacting her life instead.

(I don't have any relevant Marjan reaction gifs since I mainly use my fave Paul, so have this gif of her being absolutely adorable instead)

[patrocles]

If you’re still looking for topics of discussion, how do you envisage Alys and Aemond’s relationship? Also considering book vs show taking into account of what we’ve seen in s1 so far regarding Aemond’s character and the writing in general? Would love to hear your thoughts.

WOULD LOVE TO DISCUSS THIS (i’m on mobile for apologize for incoherency)

So my ideas about where Alys and Aemond’s relationship will go is largely rooted in what’s been established with Aemond’s character thus far, less about the book canon aside from broadstroke plot beats. The idea of show!Aemond just taking a woman as a bedmate would be pretty inconsistent with the guy we know who prides himself on Not being a depraved piece of shit like Aegon.

I think that leaves a pretty fair opening for his and Alys’ dynamic to work more like a slowburn?

There of course are the immediate logistics of how they meet, will show!Aemond slaughter all of House Strong. I think a lot of it would depend on how Aemond changes after Storm’s End. I can personally see him leaning into his new role as a feared kinslayer instead of pleading his case that Luke’s death was an accident. Not leaning into it necessarily because it makes him look Cool, but there being no real point in trying to change the narrative once the stain has been set and war is happening anyways.

Very James Flint “Everyone’s a villain to someone. Since you are so convinced that I am yours, I will be it.” core

However, I do think its something that will still weigh on him over the seasons the further the war goes on and the more war crimes he ends up committing. A tragic form of Committing to the Bit. I think also we’ll see Aemond struggle with his relationship with his family, especially Alicent. What we’ve seen in the show is Aemond being the Dependable child, the one Alicent can really rely on, and in turn she’s been the family member that he’s closest to. So after Storm’s End, if that relationship is fractured, I can really see Aemond working incredibly hard to regain that status as The Reliable One, and really carrying the weight of responsability to win the war he thinks he started. The irony is that committing so hard to this would effectively damn him even more than just Luke’s death and force him to really commit reprehensible actions, all in the name of saving his family after KL is taken.

NOW ENTER ALYS. (mind you this is all what i personally find narratively interesting)

Let me just first say that I absolutely hate the Femme Fatale Sexy Seductress trope that people seem to apply to her.

I think the Alys that we meet is just a woman who has a bad reputation because of the way the men have failed her in her life. I would really love for the show to explore why it meant for Alys to be Lyonel’s bastard, abandoned at Harrenhal. The fact that she’s a servant and a wet nurse specifically means that she was in some capacity, not protected by her father and brothers, as well as the other relatives still at Harrenhal. One would have to wonder just how bad she would actually feel if Aemond were to kill some of them.

I can also see Alys leaning to her Old Gods faith for a sense of comfort and perhaps was a sort of healer (hence why people thought she was a witch). Like Aemond, if people already have this impression of her, what’s the point in changing the narrative especially if her reputation was already tarnished with a pregnancy. And perhaps there’s a degree of safety in people thinking she’s a creepy weird witch, they (men) wont fuck with her. (Like maybe she did have a child that died in infancy bc The Times and people thought that she sacrificed it to the Old Gods, which is like incredibly sad to think about? But would add to the Witchy reputation)

So Aemond and Alys together, I think it’s a dynamic that has to be fleshed out on an emotional level for it to really work, given the nature of confusion in Fire and Blood with people thinking she bewitched Aemond. Of course being a prince, it wouldn’t be insane for him to take a woman of the castle he took, but for him to MARRY her? While being betrothed to a Baratheon?? It’s just not something that the pragmatic Aemond we’ve seen would just do on a whim.

I think there would be a whole thing of like Being Seen by the one person in the entire world who could possibly ever understand you. And that would be Aemond and Alys to each other. It’s compelling to ME because they are as different as could possibly be, a Targaryen prince and a riverlander wet nurse, and yet they manage to find a kindredness in loneliness, feeling isolated from their families, and carrying the weight of being misunderstood by everyone.

And maybe they confess their burdens to each other and actually feel heard for the first time in their lives. I think it would be an act of making themselves equal to each other (which would be an interesting contrast to Rhaenyra and Daemon’s relationship) (Aemond letting Alys take off his eye patch you will see my climbing the walls and eating the plaster)

So falling in love would require a conscious act of choice; Aemond choosing Alys and committing to her. Fighting this war and doing what needs to be done to win it, even if it means further condemning himself morally, But keeping Alys because it’s the only thing he’s ever gotten to have for just himself, save for Vhagar.

So people took what Ewan said about Aemond knowing that he’s going to die as proof? That Alys would be cut from the show?? A wild stretch but I think him knowing that this war will end with his death in some capacity really contextualizes why he chooses Alys— if he knows he won’t make it long enough to fufill his oath to the Baratheons, why not embrace what he has with Alys now. But where Aemond get fucked up a bit, is getting this Grand Love he’s always craved, and now a child! But the tragedy of knowing that he can’t have it. I think he knows what it would mean to fight Daemon, that he would die to do it as he’a the biggest threat to not only his family in KL, but now Alys and their child. And there would be struggle there, there would be Aemond’s heart in conflict, “Love is the death of duty”, etc. But the longer he puts it off to have Alys just one more day, the more he knows she would never truly be safe. So again, another act of kinslaying for a kinslayer, to protect them all.

And maybe Alys saw it too, and begged him not to go. He promised to show her Oldtown after all this was over, what things she could learn there! A place for a child to grow up safe and happy, away from all this. But instead she watches him fly off to his doom.

And the Witch Queen of Harrenhal is born from her loss. Her bitterness and grief and fury turning her into a vengeful person. A self fulfilling prophecy in a way, she wasn’t a witch before, now she’ll curse them all for taking Aemond from her. The end of the Dance saw only a handful of survivors, but is this living? It ties into the overall theme of just how pointless the war was, how nothing came of it except trauma and grief. And Alys’ blood oath to avenge Aemond’s death (I’m not saying she placed a placed a curse on the surviving Targaryens, but look at what a fuckin mess the next 170 years was for them)

But like this why whoever plays Alys needs to be a GOOD ACTRESS more than anything, I don’t care if Katie McGrath fits her (fanon) interpretation aesthetically because of a character she played ten years ago. Alys’ actress needs to be able to carry weighty scenes with Ewan like this is a Mom Certified 90s Romance Epic like the English Patient or something. I’m talking micro expressions, I’m talking unmatched chemistry, when I see her witness Aemond fall over the God’s Eye I want a blood curdling shriek that will stay with me for years (very much Abbie Cornish at the end of Bright Star). I WANT GOOD PERFORMANCES

anyways these are my thoughts

[stars-of-kyber]

Hi! Caught up with YBWM (amazing btw) and I just want to say that it warms my heart that in this universe anthony doesn’t go through the death of his father alone that he has kate with him to support and help him. Even if it was still very sad at least they have each other❤️ I really loved how kate stepped up immediately to take care of all the bridgertons and how everyone in the house already goes to her with everything and I can’t wait to see more of that especially since it will probably take violet quite some time before being able to properly care for her kids :(

Also I have a theory and I might be wrong but since they don’t sacrifice or push away love I think they will probably sacrifice them having kids for a while because they will put raising the bridgerton kids first and probably want to wait until all the girls seasons (so like their age in show). Anyways I can’t wait I really love this one😊 Quick question: kate is 16 right? that’s why they can’t get married? (sorry for the long message and english is not my first language hope you understand everything!!)

Thank you for your message. I'm so happy you liked it <3 Your English is great, no problem understanding at all (it's not my first language either).

I think one of the harsher things for Anthony in the book/show is that he needs to grow up very fast and the moment his dad drops dead, he needs to step up and he ends up doing that completely alone. His siblings are his responsibility and 6/7 of them are kids! Apart from Benedict who's 16, if I'm not mistaken Colin is 12?

And the one person who's supposed to be the one to help him and share the burden of it with him is his mother. And Violet is not only unavailable, her inability to help also throws MORE responsibility into Anthony. The scenes in the show with Hyacinth's birth and the conversation they have a bit after she is born are absolutely heartbreaking.

I think having someone to stand by him and help him in a moment where he is completely alone and GRIEVING! Bc Violet lost her love, Billie and Georgie lost their brother, his siblings lost their father but HE LOST HIS FATHER TOO! I think that it helps him a lot. The same way Kate having Anthony will help when she loses her own father.

They will sacrifice having kids for a while, but not really because of their siblings, especially because after some time Violet is back to her feet and manages to be there for them.

Kate's sixteen, going on seventeen by the time Edmund dies. It's not that they can't get married. According to some research I've done, at the time the minimum age of consent for marriage was 12 for girls and 14 for boys? It would not be legally impossible for them to marry.

But by the time Edmund dies, their family have to go into the specified mourning period, his family is a mess, his mom is locked in a room and he's still trying to learn his duties as a Viscount, it would not be nice to have a wedding in the middle of it all.

They will put off having children for the same reason they put off getting married in the first place (even if they kind of change their minds in the marriage part lol). Anthony will spend 9 or 10 months away from home a year, and Kate does not want to be responsible for the house + his siblings + be pregnant/have a baby while he is away. It's reasonable. We'll see this conversation playing out in chapter 7 (To Whom The Bells Toll) hehe

After Anthony is done with Oxfor and can stay home year round... well, that's a very different case, indeed. We'll see how this will play out, probably in chapter 9 (Blow us all Away) if I stop splitting chapters into two lol

[the-ark-is-found-74]

Yooo Ghost Bruno Au!

Just info dump on me, I have been waiting for a ghost Bruno au.

Omg yess!!! Hold on!

-As to how Bruno dies, I was thinking maybe something to do with the big-ass gap at the top of the stairs in his room. After his vision, he starts packing things frantically in preparation for running away (like in the movie) and jumps right onto his cartoon rickety rope bridge, which breaks and causes him to fall a long way. Dolores would either hear him scream or hitting the ground at the bottom, and the door light having dimmed would be an immediate red flag.

-Pepa is the one who immediately finds him, as Dolores would definitely tell her mama that she heard some very concerning things coming from her tío's room.

-She goes through the sand curtain and immediately screams because that's her hermanito who is lying on the ground and who she knows will never get up again but doesn't want it to be true. Pepa shouts for Dolores to get Julieta because maybe, just maybe, he'll be ok after eating an arepa.

-The next events in the immediate aftermath seem blurry to everyone, most of all the newly dead Bruno.

-He is a little dazed, and sits up a few moments after falling, stunned at the sight of his own body on the floor next to him. When he hears people hurrying over to his room, he panics and ducks behind a rock formation of some kind, definitely flinching at the sound of his sister screaming.

-He stays there, completely frozen in shock, and doesn't move from where he was until long after the family had moved his body.

-Back to the family's long term reactions (because I'm scraping these ideas together bc it was only a half-formed idea at the start of this and I am tired so I'll make this quick)!

-Pepa would, despite having literally seen his body, be in denial. She wants so badly to believe that he ran away that she tries really hard to gaslight herself into believing that it's true. At first it was obvious, and people all tried their best to tell her that he's gone, but she brushes them off. Every now and then, she wonders aloud if her brother is safe wherever he is, and if he's eating well. She doesn't fully believe that he just ran away, she knows deep down that he's dead. She just wouldn't like to flood the Encanto, so pretending that he might still be safe somewhere helps her in some way.

-Julieta overworks herself. She cooks every single waking moment, making sure the town is well stocked with plenty of healing food in case another accident happens. She blames herself for every death in the Encanto as it is, but her brother's death she feels especially responsible for. She can't help but think that maybe if she had got there sooner, he might have survived.

-Alma replaces Pepa's "we don't talk about Bruno" attitude, because she doesn't want to upset either of her daughters, and also feels guilty for how she treated him. The cherry on top of the cake is that he had been packed to run away when he fell, so she would feel extra responsible for it.

-I feel like it's also worth reminding you all that Bruno's disappearance is canonically right after Mirabel's gift ceremony, so everyone was already in pretty low spirits.

-Mirabel and Camilo were both 5 when this happened, so neither of them would be able to really understand death and what it really means. Their parents would tell them that Tío Bruno has gone away to live with Abuelo Pedro forever, and that he is happy where he is.

-Back to Bruno because I feel mean focusing on the sad parts for too long.

-Very confused. And freaked out. After everyone leaves his room, he decides to get up and try to leave the house for some fresh air. But a problem quickly presents itself, in that he is physically incapable of leaving the house. No matter how hard he tries. Think Julian from BBC Ghosts, if you've ever watched that.

-He hides in the walls because he can walk through them now, and while he isn't sure if anyone can see him, he really doesn't want to find out.

-He cannot interact with objects in any way; the most impact he can have on his surroundings are the small tornadoes that appear when he is having a vision. Which he can still have, by the way, it just doesn't create a glass tablet every time.

-He still does his compulsions all the same, except he is reduced to miming them instead of actually knocking things and throwing salt over his shoulder.

And now for how some of the events of the movie change (in case you're interested):

(Also, I am exhausted, so I think I'll leave it here for tonight. I'll add more when I think of it I guess, let me know if you'd like a fic of this at some point!)

-When he meets Mirabel, he reaches down to grab her hand, which instead moves straight through her. In her shock, she is the one that falls instead of Bruno.

-Mirabel climbs out of the hole by herself, and when she gets to the top, asks how Bruno is there and what's going on. He responds with the "bye" and walks straight through her, which is when it fully dawns on her that her tío is a ghost.

-The conversation takes place in the same area as it did before, but without any furniture. It's just an empty space behind the wall.

-Bruno is still able to see into the future, so Mirabel asks him to give her a vision the same as last time.

-Antonio wouldn't question the ghost of his uncle at all, similar to how he didn't question the fact that Bruno had been living in the walls since before he was born. He'd offer his room for the vision the same as in the movie.

-When casita collapses, Bruno is still restricted to the foundations of the house, and Pepa spots him standing there. She doesn't think he's real at first, but then she hears someone else shout his name, and so she runs towards him to hug him. But she can't.

[demadogs]

what do you think differentiates mike from being gay as opposed to bi? i love all ur analysis posts btw

ok so one thing that convinced me is the scene of them kissing at the beginning of s3. its pretty subtle, i didnt notice it until someone else here pointed it out, but el tries to touch mike while kissing him and he doesnt let her. her hands are on his face and he moves them and then she goes for his chest and he moves them again. its hard to show it in just screenshots but you can see it in the very first few seconds of this clip.

another one is the fact that el was mistaken for a boy multiple times in s1. even i thought she was a boy before i watched the show bc the first thing i saw of stranger things was a gifset on here of the reveal of el in the rain a couple weeks after it came out. i knew it was about some missing boy and i thought el was him and only realized shes a girl once i watched it. anyways i wouldnt consider this substantial evidence if it werent for the fact that two characters say she looks like a boy and one mistakes her for a boy. mike might have subconsciously thought she would be a socially acceptable romantic partner that would satisfy him more than a really feminine girl would. and once el does look more feminine in s3 thats when you see how unhealthy their relationship is.

another thing is mikes reaction to max in s2. lucas and dustin are immediately attracted to her and mike’s just pissed off about it. you can argue that its bc he doesnt have el, but it could also be bc he doesnt see why lucas and dustin would be attracted to her at all and hes mad that theyre thinking so much about her when hes concerned about will.

i am SO annoying about this one. this is like the fifth time ive brought it up in an ask but listen its the answer to so many asks ive gotten. this frame:

this sells me on him being gay instead of bi bc he’s framed in the closet while el kisses him and the door perfectly divides their kiss. they could show a frame of him in a closet any time to hint at him being queer but they chose to do it specifically when el kisses him. also the fact that the closet divides their kiss perfectly indicates that the closet is the reason he’s not kissing her or saying he loves her back. that wouldnt be the case if he were bi. he may not love her but it wouldnt have anything to do with his sexuality bc he’d still like girls so framing him like this wouldnt be necessary.

lastly, i dont think mike would have a problem breaking up with her if it was simply bc he doesnt love her, not bc he doesnt like girls in general. it’s clear that mike isnt in love with el right? especially after that one-sided kiss and him having no emotional or happy response to her saying she loves him. then why is he hanging onto the relationship for so long if theres nothing there? at the very least i would think we’d see him talking to one of the guys about him not loving her or wanting to break up with her and not knowing how but instead he just stays in the relationship bc he doesnt want to accept the fact that hes gay. i think this was represented well with that one recent finn and millie interview. i forget which one of them said it but they said “its like theyre married and theres no option for divorce”. milevens threw a party when they read that line but honestly its just sad and fits this point really well.

[boga-the-negotiator]

a prompt for your consideration bc I've been really into the Jedi exploring their native cultures lately-- Obi-Wan and Stewjon. Maybe babywan and the temple is having one of those cultural fair things where he has to dress up in traditional clothes and make a dish? maybe later era and he actually has to go there for some reason? idk, just some ideas that have been collecting dust for far too long so thought i'd drop them here in case they struck you!

hi kate! it’s been a while since i’ve looked in on any of these prompts, but today this one really sparked the brain machine so here: have some fic about Padawan Obi-Wan and the stewjoni diaspora on coruscant.

 -

The Little Stewjon community hall is full of song tonight. This wouldn’t ordinarily be anything remarkable—music is far from foreign in these walls—except that to Obi-Wan, it is new. Or, rather these songs are new.

As is the way they are performed.

A small group of stewjoni are seated in a circle on the wooden floor, passing around a length of thick tartan cloth which they thump against the floor in-time with their song. On-and-on, round-and-round.

It distracts Obi-Wan from his work at the loom. The stewjoni elder who has been Obi-Wan’s teacher every evening this week clicks her tongue.

“They’re waulking the cloth.” She says, anticipating his question. “A bit of moisture and some enthusiasm makes the weave shrink and tighten.”

“And the singing?”

“Well doing it in silence wouldn’t be very fun. We’ll have to do it to your tartan too, once it’s finished.”

That she says ‘once’ and not ‘if’ is comforting.

“What are they singing about?” he asks.

The elder smiles in that way that some of the old old Masters do, a little sad and looking every inch her age.

“The sea, lad. They’re singing about the sea.”

Obi-Wan thinks back to his geography lessons. “There isn’t a sea on Coruscant, is there?

“No, lad, there isn’t. Not like back home.” She rises from her chair. “Ah, wrong lever—” her hand, gnarled like branches on an ancient tree and just as bark-like with callouses, are nonetheless deft as she fixes Obi-Wan’s mistake. To her, the loom is an extension of herself.

The tartan cloth she—like all stewjoni weavers—uses it to weave is a complex pattern and it is a testament to her patience that she persists in teaching Obi-Wan. Especially when it is not only the pattern he must learn, but the handling of the loom itself—the matrix of coloured threads, heddles and bars he only saw for the first time last week.

The shuttle is put back in his hands.

“Off you go, now.” She pats his shoulder, “And don’t be so gentle with the reed. Pack those threads together nice and tight—we can’t have it falling apart.”

He thinks, listening to the call-and-response chorus of the group waulking the cloth, that the sway and motion of weaving could be similar to moving meditation. Calming. Much like katas, it has a rhythm. A sequence.

He turns the similarities over in his mind. Even if he hadn’t been passed into the Order’s care as a child, he would have learnt this lesson anyway. Instead of a Master, he would have been taken under the wing of his elders. Instead of a temple, he would have had a town.

Either way: a community and its teachings.

That a lightsabre feels more natural in his hand than the shuttle is pure chance. Or perhaps the force.

(But Obi-Wan is too busy counting threads to philosophise any further.)

[nose-bl]

(i’m not even going to apologize for the long post, if you get tired of reading it’s fine)

i was thinking about marcy, the timeline of amphibia, and the point when marcy decided to not try to go back home. she didn’t always plan to stay forever, she genuinely was trying to find a way back even if she didn’t want to. she decided to try and stay forever after she was left alone and Andrias took advantage of that vulnerable moment to convince her of following his plans. and he obviously hid a LOT of stuff when he told her the plan

i’m gonna explain this, bc i realized many people assume marcy knew of andrias’ plans since she got to amphibia and that she always planned on trapping the girls when in fact that’s not the case

So, first main event in our timeline: Marcy has a breakdown and finds the box,  convincing her friends to get it and they all end up in Amphibia even tho Marcy didn’t actually think it could work. Marcy then becomes useful to the city of Newtopia, which is basically the only reason she’s respected and deemed worthy, at least at first, and Andrias sees a specific use in her so he starts manipulating her to gain her trust while he has malicious motives behind his treatment of her. We now know despite all this, he also had a soft spot for her because she reminded him of Leif, but this doesn’t change the underlying motives he had when he befriended her

After a while, Anne and Marcy reunite in Newtopia and they catch up. Marcy definitely seems genuine when she says they need to find a way home and to find Sasha, it doesn’t seem like she’s lying, especially because at that point she still doesn’t have any big information about the box and travelling between dimensions so she really can’t have any plans on staying (she can only dream and hope that things can stay that way)

Forward a couple days, and Anne basically leaves Marcy alone during her Newtopia visit, she’s only spending time with the Plantars even tho she hasn’t seen Marcy in months, she leaves all the work to Marcy when she actually could have helped in other ways (yes i know Marcy said it was fine but Anne didn’t have any interest in helping at all, and they make it clear this was also their dynamic back home, so Marcy was just used to doing all her friend’s work). And then she literally abandoned Marcy to go back with the Plantars knowing this meant she was getting separated from Marcy again and who knows what could have happened. They could have stayed separated for 5 months for all they know, Marcy was right, it made more sense for Anne to stay so they wouldn’t lose each other again, and they would send someone for the box when it was ready.

Now, I don’t blame Anne for the way she acted. I understand that she was sad about leaving the Plantars because she knew she didn’t have that much time left in Amphibia, but she still hurt Marcy a lot. Marcy let Anne go and do what she wanted instead of what was logically better because she saw Anne in pain, and she didn’t want to hurt her. I’m also guessing Marcy was feeling guilty for being accidentally responsible for taking them to Amphibia so that’s another reason she let Anne go

Also let’s be real, if Anne stayed with Marcy, she would have been down the whole time and would have been only talking about how much she misses the Plantars and wouldn’t have enjoyed her time with Marcy. It would have been an uncomfortable situation for both of them, but that’s what frustrates me.

It seems like Anne wasn’t making an effort to be with Marcy and enjoy her friendship with Marcy because she was too focused on the Plantars and they were her priority. And we also now know that both Anne and Sasha didn’t make much effort to engage with Marcy’s interests and really see her and understand her. Anne did start changing this dynamic with some of the time she spent with Marcy in Wartwood, but yeah. Which, again, I really understand where she was coming from and i don’t blame her, but she didn’t even realize how much she was hurting Marcy and the whole situation is complex

Now onto the next point before this gets incredibly long, the moment Anne leaves Marcy behind is when Andrias comes in and tells Marcy that it’s always hard to let friends go and that he has an interesting proposition. Qe all know what that proposition is, he is about to tell her about the box, about the different dimensions and how he can help her travel with her friends forever when she charges all the gems and gives him back the box. And that situation is so messed up. This isn’t Anne’s fault, but it coincides with her leaving Marcy with no hesitation which obviously would make Marcy believe that she’s unimportant compared to the Plantars (she has....a lot of self esteem issues and we see that througout the show)

Andrias knows how much this hurts Marcy because he made her trust him, so he knows everything about her and her friendship with Anne and Sasha. He knows that she’s so terrified of being left alone and losing her only 2 friends, that she wishes to be transported to another world. He knows the level of desperation in which she has been for a while, even if she doesn’t always show it. And he uses that to his favor. He starts off by reminding Marcy that Anne is leaving, he reminds Marcy of the pain that must cause. And then he tells her what she wants to hear: that there is a way to not lose her friends and be happy with them forever

Andrias glosses over all the horrifying details of his plans, and he simply paints a beautiful picture of a future where Marcy and her friends are all happy together. Remember that ever since Marcy saw that box she genuinely thought it would be a good thing for all of them, and i feel like at this point she still felt that way, especially when this father figure that she fully trusts tells her this perfect story of how they can all be happy and free. Plus, she saw how much Anne has grown and how much she loves the Plantars so of course she was convinced that she was doing her friends a favor too!

Also I’m gonna quickly point out that whatever Marcy and Andrias found in that ‘secret’ passage, Andrias obviously knew all about it, he always knew everything about the box, and he was playing dumb so Marcy would trust him. I’m not sure what they found there but it was probably just information on how the box works and how the temples and stuff worked and what they did. Like, yes, she knew more about the box than her friends, but that wasn’t part of “tricking“ them. It was just information that she genuinely took with the goal of getting her friends home. After accepting Andrias’ proposition, that’s when having that information became tricky, because even tho she never had bad intentions, that information gave her some sort of power, y’know? Her motives changed from “i actually need to get me and my friends home :(“ to “actually what if we could travel through dimensions and be happy forever????“

So anyway, I wanted to write more stuff but this is already too long for me and also I started this like a month ago and the show is already over so I don’t know how relevant it is or if anyone is going to read it but if you got this far, I love you and please reblog :))

[jalules]

owl house meta bc my brain is all worms!!!!

man idk if this is something there will be time/inclination to get into in upcoming owl house episodes but i'm thinking a lot about luz and how she might be feeling with regard to the revelations about hunter

obv she's shaken by the belos reveal and i'm sure we're gonna get to see how she struggles with feeling foolish for being tricked, guilty for being an unknowing participant in his plans

but something i'm not sure there will be time to tackle is specifically how those feelings apply twofold on the personal level of coming to understand (at least partly) hunter's situation

bc like a lot of people, luz seems to feel far more hurt and concern for others than she does for herself

luz has such a strong sense of justice and she's so, so empathetic to others, she's really strongly affected by other people's suffering and seems compelled to try to help them

in hunter's case she offered friendship early on, despite being on opposite sides of the issue, partly because that's just how she rolls and partly because she saw the good in him and realized that Something, at least, was up- she recognizes the emperor's coven as the abusive institution it is and feels empathy for somebody stuck in it, especially once she realizes he's a teenager too

she gets frustrated with him for not immediately seeing things her way and struggles to understand how he can be okay with the life he leads; she calls him "a bad, but sad, boy," and by then we the audience know how much stress he's under, how belos treats him- you bet your ass he's sad! but without even knowing the full story, luz still wants to see the best in him and be his friend, she wants to help him

after asiap she pesters him online and he wants nothing to do with her questions, but she won't give up trying

when they meet face to face again in hollow mind she takes the opportunity to not just tell, but show him what his uncle is really up to, and both of them end up learning way more than they meant to

luz is a smart cookie and she spends a LOT of that episode just observing, listening to hunter make excuses for belos, watching him flinch and shy away from painful words and reminders of physical attacks, she puts it together real quick and immediately offers for hunter to come stay at the owl house, trying to give him an alternative to his abusive uncle- it's not just about proving that the emperor is evil anymore, it's about protecting someone who is obviously in a bad situation

and then there's the further reveal; the grimwalkers, the history of violence, the attempt on hunter's life, and when they finally escape to safety hunter has a panic attack while luz seems frozen in shock

she calls after him in the end, but hangs back; you can't force someone to let you rescue them, and she knows that

but god, the amount of guilt that comes from a situation like that, the overwhelming sense that you fucked up helping someone, that you could have done more, done differently, done better

luz tends to beat herself up when she can't help someone, and with how desperately awful hunter's situation turned out to be, i think she's going to be feeling the loss of simply Not Being Able to Help really strongly, as well as feeling responsible for, however unintentionally, revealing the truth to hunter and opening him up to that trauma

i mean, oof, y'know?

i just find luz's empathy for others really relatable and i've been there vis a vis caring for friends in abusive situations, so i feel for her- it's tough being highly empathetic, it's frustrating being unable to help someone, and it's way too much pressure for a fourteen year old to put on herself, especially on top of everything else she's got to worry about :<

idk if i articulated this well enough but dang, i've got some big feelings about it