#it's kanji's admiration and how he looks up to yosuke and how he wants to be closer to yosuke as a friend/kouhai/whatever you want

[daily-hanamura]

[epitomees]

Maybe he peaked last time with a gift he didn’t make but ordered. Something from Junes felt like such a step down. He didn’t know where to start with the obvious mystery novels and he had seen Naoto spend hours staring deeply at the coffee beans on the ground floor of Junes. She clearly knew her stuff and he wasn’t going to try and test his luck with something she was an expert in.

He didn’t want to ask Kanji again because it was embarrassing; he was the senpai, the guy Kanji was supposed to respect and admire and there he was, asking him to make a stuffed cat. Point was, he didn’t want to rely on Kanji. Not again.

Naoto’s fondness for dudes in spandex suits fighting clearly fake monsters may be a clue, he decided, and he booked it to Okina after seeing how inadequate the manga section at Yomenaido was. Okina Books, unlike Yomenaido, was a lot bigger, and the second floor was actually a second floor. He scurried up the stairs, and began looking at all the titles, hoping to find mention of Kamen Rider and Super Sentai, or even a Godzilla thing because those fell under the tokusatsu umbrella, right?

He almost thought Robot Detective would work—it had a newsboy hat like Naoto’s—but there wasn’t a lot. The art was dated and knowing Naoto, she could blitz through it within 24 hours. He kept looking, then stopped at Kikaider. It looked like her Shadow when it went apeshit and the symbols scattered around the base were a Kamen Rider reference of some kind.

Between Android Kikaider and Kikaider Code 02, he had no idea which one Naoto preferred or if anything was different. He settled with the latter because it had 7 volumes instead of 6. He bought all of them and added a Godzilla plush, not a huge loss on his wallet ever since TV world funds were shared. 

There wasn’t a lot of time to wrap it, so like last time, it was all stuffed into a bag and given to Naoto on her special day.

���If you thought I’d miss this year, think again!” He winked because he tended to do that a lot around her, for a reason he knew pretty well. “Happy Birthday to my most favorite and tiniest little detective!”

Gifts never usually lasted long. Depending on the type, normally a present's life-span ended within several days of its purchase. A week, at best, or even two weeks if the receiver tended to its care. Rarely did many live longer than a year, but then again, sometimes they held their own surprises. Items like plants, new pets, or say...stuffed animals fell into this category, but even so, their health solely depended on the person taking them into their care.

Naoto grew up knowing these responsibilities by heart. The sole reason Grampa allowed Hercule in the mansion was to teach the young detective of accountability and consequences. When Hercule suffered, so did Naoto. Without proper food, a well-kept and clean play area, or disposing soiled substances from high traffic zones, the small guinea pig wouldn't last as long as he already had. Several years later, and the fat nugget still wheeked when dinner wasn't properly served on the dot.

He never lost his youth.

Perhaps these learned traits and lessons explained why Naoto's black cat plush still looked rather new. No loose trimmings, no unnecessary (or emergency) visible stitching, and its colors never lost its sheen. Vibrant, deep dark colors of black and navy blue still kept their vibrancy after only a year of usage. Miss Marple: a headstrong, go-getter feline. That's the name Naoto coined the day Yosuke gave it to her. On certain nights where insomnia prevented her a full night's sleep, Naoto found herself keeping the small plush tucked under her arm. Not squeezing it tightly but...allowing it to be present. Just sit there, lay with her, and it gave Naoto the chance to stroke its soft texture intermittently. As a means of relaxation and keeping herself grounded.

Proper gratitude and appreciations already had been exchanged at the time Yosuke hand delivered his present, but to think it assisted her this much came as a surprise. At this time, Naoto knew where exactly Miss Marple could be found: sitting up straight, handkerchief slightly angled to the right which mirrored the position of her hat, and comfortably resting on top of her pillows. Yakushiji made a point to keep her there, or pick her up if he happened to peak inside Naoto's room during her slumber.

She grew to be a very important member of the Shiroganes.

Presently, the end of April signified yet another completed year living and breathing on this planet. And as expected, several of the Investigation members made it painstakingly known by means of celebratory text messages and spontaneous meetups. Naoto began growing used to these improvisational plans rather than being extremely irritated most times. She never enjoyed the constant attention, yet it became customary once her name became the Shirogane agency's head proprietor. Media recognition vastly differed from that of close family and other trusted individuals. Those whom knew the Naoto behind the television screen saw the real detective; for her own faults, her short-comings, and her self-destructive habits.

Despite knowing it all, as it was laid out plainly in front of them due to her own Shadow's personality, they stuck by her side. They even forgave the detective's stand-offish and brash behavior once rescued from the other side. First introductions always left a lasting impression, and yet they unanimously decided giving her a second chance. No amount of authority figures or contracted partners ever asked to start over.

Neither did any past clients or bureaus bother sending Naoto a card for her birthday. Not like she asked, or she desired their validation at this point. It didn't bother her. What mattered more were the others, like Yosuke, whom made it a point to feel seen, or feel more special on their designated day of birth. Another lopsided smile greeted the detective, one all too familiar to an astute observer like Naoto. Another gift bag, as well. He never had enough free time to himself, did he...

"...no, actually, considering how adamant you were to spend time with me last year as well." This time, however, the bag held more weight when it slipped into Naoto's hands. Past the poorly dressed Paper-Mache, greyish hues spotted the vast number of books neatly lined together, cover to cover. Careful fingers pulled out a random selection towards the middle, eyes observing and glossing over the colorful manga cover.

Robots. A lone mechanical creation with a detailed depiction of its hard-wiring and metallic plating. Fitting, for someone invested in sentai content media. Further inspection revealed the whole set had been gifted to her. An expensive present, for sure, but appropriate from someone like Yosuke.

"...I have heard of this series before, but I never found any time to properly locate the reading material." It's another success. After taking the bag in one hand, Naoto raised the brim of her hat towards Yosuke. For a brief moment, something akin to a smile sat on her lips. And perhaps if Yosuke looked closer, a slight tinge of red on her cheeks.

"...I'm glad you found it..." All of it, just for her. "...thank you, Yosuke."

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

[jenivi]

Top 5 Persona Characters?

oh i’m so glad you sent this ask!! for this, i’ll try not to include any of the protagonists because they technically don’t have a canon personality; their personalities are mostly widely known fan inferences rooting from their dialogue options and overall attitude (which i also believe as well,, but yeah we’ll just not include them in. plus let’s just have the other characters shine!). keep in mind, i really am not the best with putting my thoughts into words, so some sentences might seem kinda funky lol. and everything here is my opinion :]

1) yosuke hanamura (persona 4)

sometimes, it saddens me that people view his character from the surface level and are quick to renounce him as homophobic and pervy. to add fuel to the flame, atlus kind of flanderizes yosuke’s character in golden and the animation (trust me, i love the animation and they did add some parts for yosuke that i love, but you gotta admit they could’ve done his character a bit more justice). of course yosuke’s flaws should be recognized and be critiqued, but honestly, these flaws are what make yosuke yosuke. removing those things, in ways, takes away from the 3 dimensional-ness of his character.

i feel that it was made clear what his “stereotypical role” was going to be in the story from his easily perceived surface personality traits. some of these traits were his recklessness, competitiveness and the fact that he was constantly being dunked on by the other characters, making him seem like just the comic relief. but throughout the story, you find out he’s more than that (which i will talk more in detail a little later). most prominently known by fans, there is the “bro” aspect to him. in this game, yu is the one who has to walk up to people and ask them to hang out, but yosuke is the only one of all the characters who takes the initiative to get to know yu. he nicknames you partner, constantly calls you on the phone at night, and always kind of asks you questions and says things to get a reaction out of you. from this, a natural friendship between blossoms and you feel like you get know really know yosuke personally. you learn that he’s actually very strategic and intelligent, incredibly loyal and cares deeply about his friends, and is overwhelmingly insecure and repressed. okay, we have to talk about this part. he seems closeted, and that can be the reasoning on why he sometimes makes homophobic remarks. i do think it’s a shame that his romance route was scrapped when it obviously was far in development. for some, the bro aspect can super fixated on and might be one of the only reasons why someone likes yosuke. this sadly kind of subconsciously fetishizes their relationship. of course that’s not the case all the time! but it’s something to be mindful of. even looking past the souyo ship (which i love deeply!), they are such great friends platonically, and yosuke himself is such a great character. throughout the story, he matures and develops into someone more humble, thoughtful and appreciative. from the moment he first showed up on screen, i kind of had a feeling he was going to be my favorite. and it’s kind of crazy how much i grew fond of him over time and realized the impact his character made on me.

2) elizabeth (persona 3)

elizabeth is so underrated, and i speak that from the bottom of my heart. she is so hilariously naive and funky, while also being one of the most powerful and intelligent persona characters. the way you are first introduced to her are through fulfilling her requests in the velvet room. as you fulfill her requests, you’re kind like, “you want me to do that,, really?” she tells you to bring her oil?? for some reason? and to feed a cat so it can prosper forever and ever? those are just some things i can think of at the top of my head. from these requests, you kind of get a peak at her funny weirdness and you’re just like “okay you’re weird but i like you.” and when you get to take her on dates (but i just see them as hangouts :]), you are essentially helping her make new experiences of the world outside of the velvet room and get into a lot of wacky hijinks. with this, her endearing weirdness and naivety really starts to shine, making you fall in love with the character. so now you’re like “wow, you’re really weird i love you lol.” her funny weirdness also translates to her dance style in persona 3 dancing, which i absolutely  love. it really encapsulates that side of her character accurately (and you gotta admit she’s got some cool funky moves).

beyond the funny side of her, you find out how truly powerful she is as a being. she can wield thanatos, which was only previously held by someone with the universe arcana), and is unfathomably strong as she is one of the harder boss fights in the entire series. it is also important to note that she is also very determined and i found it bittersweetly heartwarming that she is still mourning over makoto/minato(i nicknamed him virgin walk)’s death years afterward (as seen in persona 4 arena) and that she is dedicating herself to free his soul that is bound to the door of death. she misses her dear friend, and i just really love that she threw caution to the wind and went on this journey to try to find a way to resolve something that is seemingly impossible. and she is still doing it to this day, into the persona 5 timeline (because persona 5 royal shows that minato/makoto/virginwalk is still bound to the door). persona 3 happens in 2009 and persona 5 happens in 20XX (which is assumed to be 2016). it has almost been a decade. i truly think it’s in her character to keep searching for a way to free him no matter how long it takes. with all aspects of her personality in mind, i love her character with my whole heart. 

3) yukiko amagi (persona 4)

if i’m completely honest, yukiko was not one of my favorite characters at the time i played persona 4. i was one of the many people who overlooked her character because the others pretty much outshine her. because she is introduced in the beginning as the first dungeon, you start to put her towards the background once kanji, rise and naoto are introduced. from the surface, the first impression of her is “okay, i guess her quirk is that she laughs a lot?” i initially thought this too, but thinking more about it, i began liking that about her, and with more thought, i realized that i liked other things about her character as well. her sense of humor is so dumb? she laughs at lame stuff and fixates on things in conversation that just make you go “uhh okay,,, yukiko??” i think i opened my eyes to this when i was playing her story in persona 4 arena. i found it so hilarious that she fixated on the quality of the box lunch she prepared for everyone out of all the things happening, and that her whole arc in that game revolved around how bad it was (putting it into simpler terms). i also really think its funny how blunt she is too. she’s ready to shoot people down, and most of the time, it’s unintentional. 

and other than her quirks, i kind of like how her arc developed in the game. i know that many people saw that the end of her arc as “wrong” because they were expecting the usual resolution to problems similar to hers. they expected her to “follow her heart and pick freedom” if she feels trapped in her role as an innkeeper when she inherits her family’s inn in the future. but that wasn’t the point. i actually kind of like that she ultimately chooses to stay. in her social link, she decides to stay in inaba and to run the inn because it’s her own choice. she chose this out of her own will and that’s the only thing that mattered; no one else is forcing her to inherit the business and she decides that’s what she wants. i also really like that the animation showed the responsibilities and hard work she has to go through at the inn; it was a nice touch and really displayed how responsible she was and how much she prioritizes and dedicates her time at the inn. although she is responsible, she is not necessarily the “mom-friend” of the group. she can be a bit crazy like everyone else too. honestly the whole investigation team runs rabid because there is no mom-friend to keep them in check (persona 3 has mitsuru and persona 5 has makoto). anyway, really taking the time to think about yukiko’s character made me love her.

4) yusuke kitagawa (persona 5) 

okay, this is going to be very straightforward, but i think that yusuke was one of the most enjoyable parts of persona 5. i loved whenever he was on screen,, he’s super eccentric and i find it so funny to see the whole starving-artist thing taken literally. he’s definitely awkward but is trying his best! he definitely has the most stage presence compared to the other phantom thieves. the other members are pushed to the background whenever he speaks. he’s dramatic and over the top, but somehow this hilarious absurdity is relatable. 

other than the tendency to steal the show, his social link is more focused on his own development and his own personal growth. whereas, with the other characters, it kind of focuses on the character and the people they associate with outside the phantom thieves. for yusuke, in comparison, it’s much more personal. you travel around with him to help him to figure out what the aspects of the human heart are and to help him get out of his artistic slump after opening his eyes to the abuse he went through with madarame. he originally had a narrow perspective but overtime he learns to broaden it. i just really like how the social link plays out, it was really satisfying. and i just love how genuine and sincere he is as he is always doing things out of pure intentions. it’s also so admirable to see how much passion he has for the things he loves. yusuke, with certainty, is one of my favorite phantom theives. 

5) yuuki mishima (persona 5)

mishima is such an important and underrated character in persona 5. mishima throughout the whole game has been nothing but nice to you, even with akira/ren’s reputation. sure, he can be awkward and can be seen as overbearing to some, but he’s always had his heart in the right place. i’ve kind of always liked his dumb awkwardness and seeing how he’s trying hard to be our friend (it’s a shame our dialogue options toward him are always kinda mean but hopefully he sees it as teasing). he is so crucial to the story because honestly, he’s the one who got the ball rolling by creating the phansite, and that phansite actually helped so many people. he, himself, doesn’t even get recognition for making the site, he just really believed in the phantom thieves and wanted to help them in the ways he could. he did have an arc to humble himself after getting hungry for fame, but in the end he changed his own heart with his own will (and is the only character to do that!) which is pretty powerful. 

i also love that he’s always been a supporter of the phantom thieves no matter what happens and what other people think. when the phantom thieves were being trashed on, he still held onto hope and believed they were doing the right thing (plus him supporting them in those times just proves he wasn’t just doing the phansite for fame!!). another moment that screams this most is toward the end, when everything was in destruction and people were forgetting about the phantom theives in the time literally needed someone to believe in them most. mishima was the only one who still had faith in them and knocked some sense into everyone else. without him there, things could have turned out pretty badly. and i know i’ve heard that some fans wanting him to be a phantom thief himself, but it would just mess with a major part of his character. there’s something about him not completely knowing who the members of the phantom thieves are and him deciding to help with the phansite despite this, you know? yeah i like mishima a lot :))

some honorable mentions are kanji tatsumi (persona 4) and aigis (persona 3)! some of the honorable mentions are characters i like over some others that are on the list but i wanted to make sure i included people from persona 3, 4, 5 (because honestly this list would be persona 4 dominated if i didnt lol).

[pixxyofice]

You guys know how in PQ2 there are scenes that jokingly give the members of other teams Phantom Thief names? How these names were not the most serious, how they weren't exactly treated seriously?

Well. I decided I wanted to give a serious shot at trying to determine what the Investigation Team's Phantom Thief names would be. Note that due to a lack of familiarity with the SEES members that I won't be doing them; just the Investigation Team members.

The Phantom Thief Outfits are based on what someone's Image Of Rebellion is. The Phantom Thieves (usually) name themselves after the image their Phantom Thief outfit represents. If not that, then they are named after something meaningful to the Phantom Thief themselves (which can tangentially relate to the outfit in some way.)

For examples...

Joker looks like the traditional Gentleman Thief. His name relates to how his wild card ability makes him a useful asset up the sleeves of the thieves. The Joker's power can depend based on what game of cards you are playing, after all, sort of like... Well, Joker.

Queen looks like a post apocalyptic hero, which are usually in Very Badass Action Scenes. Cool scarves, odd outfits, spikes and metal armor... Very cool. As someone with a position of power, she can be seen as a sort of 'ruler'... A Queen.

Noir looks like a musketeer. Traditionally defenders of justice, known for a tale where they fight off evil to their kingdom. Noir named herself that because she views herself as working on the darker side of the law... hence the French word for black. (Which actually fits her thief outfit a lot! The french, I mean.)

So when giving the IT thief names, we have to consider what their personal images of rebellion would look like. Along with that, we have to consider what they would name themselves based on those images.

Let's get started.

Souji Seta/Yu Narukami. (I prefer Souji, so that is the name i'm going to use.)

Souji's image of rebellion very likely closely resembles his Persona. What was his persona based off of... A banchou or something? Kingpin, whatever. His image of rebellion seems to be a cool, collected, intimidating figure. See his Persona and also how he dressed up for the cross dressing pageant. His mask could look very similar to Izanagi's mask.

As Souji is similar-ish to Joker, I reasoned that Souji would be named in a similar manner. He is the leader of the team, the level head making the decisions... And a Wild Card. His look is intimidating, like a Kingpin, so... Name him after a strong card in a deck, or the central piece of a chess board: King. (After all, if he falls, the game is over.)

Yosuke Hanamura.

I'll be real with you. I thought image of rebellion for Yosuke, and I thought Superheroes. Sure, his first persona looks like a Ninja... But all of his Personas have a Hero Vibe to them, yeah? And he wanted to look into the TV world because he wanted to be a hero... So, Superhero Costume. His mask would probably be that Traditional Superhero Mask.

As for his codename? Knowing him, he'd probably try to come up with something Cool. Hero Sounding. I am not good with names, alas, but... What I came up with is Galestorm. It fits his wind vibes, it's a cool sounding word... Uh... I dunno. It fits him maybe!!

Chie Satonaka.

Let's be real here. Her image of rebellion is TOTALLY the protagonists of kung-fu movies. She would probably wear a yellow tracksuit, like her Persona, which.... Yeah, reference. As for her mask? ... Haha I have no idea, y'all come up with one.

As for her name.... Well, Dragon. As in Trial Of The Dragon. Alongside that nifty reference, Dragons, as mythical creatures go, could very well fit Chie. Protective, aggressive towards those it deems a threat, a fiery attitude... Its pretty good! Maybe!

Yukiko Amagi.

Yukiko Amagi's image of rebellion is likely closely related to birds. You look at her outfit and you probably think 'bird'. Remember in the Anime how Yukiko admired her pet bird for being able to fly free? Yeah. That. That's why her image of rebellion would be birdlike. Her mask could resemble plague doctor masks, somewhat. Think a less pointy Prince Akechi and also it covers more of her forehead for Beak.

As for her name? She would likely connect the feathers on her outfit to the attachments of her Persona, which represent... Sakura Petals/Blossoms. She probably had a thought jump from "sakura" to "flower terms", and probably prefers Blossom out of the two terms she thought of. It sounds pretty... But also has a tougher name Feel than Petal. Blossom sounds more like a codename, too!

Kanji Tatsumi.

Lets be real here. There's a reason the Thieves named him Skull 2.0. Their images of rebellion would be... similar? Kanji's is influenced by various outside factors, including a certain manly push, but still. His costume would probably represent his punk ideal... maybe subtly mix in his preference for cute things here and there in accessories? Dunno.

As for his codename? Well, he looks tough, and he is tough! He's the one to point to if you want someone to smack people down. Call him... Breaker. Because he breaks things. (Additional thing I only realized and laughed at now: he's an electric user. Aren't Breakers also the names of the things you use to control whats powered in the house...?)

Rise Kujikawa.

I'll be honest, I... Have no clue. In the version of this post that I lost, I think I HAD a clue, but it went with the wind. If I were to think, though... Maybe her image of rebellion is... sorta like Panther's. She has an image of a woman who is assured of herself, knows herself and her friends, and reflects their brightest points. A somewhat revealing outfit, but one that's... mature? I don't know... Her mask would probably resemble Himiko's "face" of solar panels (somehow).

As for her codename... Let's think about how she's the IT's support. Or... Well, her Persona. Her Maxed Persona has a solar system orbiting around her, with the Persona itself being the very center, like a sun. The Investigation Team could be like those planets; strong and sturdy on their own, thriving with the touch of the sun. She's like... Sunlight is necessary for a human to live, and she provides that sunlight for her teammates to stand even taller. With her outfit idea in mind... Sunlight sounds too "young". So perhaps Sunbeam for her codename. Same idea, but sounds Better!

Teddie.

...... Hey, before I just go right out and say it... Technically... Aren't both of Teddie's forms some form of rebellion from the other Shadows? He formed his bear image so he could be loved by humans, and then formed his human image so he could be with his human friends. That... That's rather unique, isn't it? Could be a rebellion in itself.

... And now for me to just say... It's Ted. Teddie gets the Morgana treatment here. A shortened version of his name that just sums up that, yep, he sure is a bear that helps in fighting shadows. No fancy name for him.

Naoto Shirogane.

Naoto's image of rebellion is rather simple, honestly! ... The outfits of the heroes of shows like Neo Featherman! Sure, Naoto admires detectives and loves reading/watching detective things... But thats not their image of rebellion. When they think rebel, they think of posing live action heroes, fighting bad guys regardless of the laws! As for their mask... Uh. Bandana across face look. Also worth noting: their Persona's little wing/cape thing would Definitely be a part of their thief outfit.

As for their name... Naoto would probably go with something on the simpler side. Their outfit reminds them of their Persona, who is bug based, and thus, bug theme names. Wasp... Beetle... Moth. Moth fits their Persona's wing/cape thing the most, and sounds sort of soft... But if you underestimate Naoto, they'll show you that their softer name hides a brain of steel and a quick trigger finger.

So... The Investigation Thieves are:

Souji Seta/Yu Narukami - King

Yosuke Hanamura - Galestorm

Chie Satonaka - Dragon

Yukiko Amagi - Blossom

Kanji Tatsumi - Breaker

Rise Kujikawa - Sunbeam

Teddie - Ted

Naoto Shirogane - Moth

What do you guys think? Should I have come up with better names? Reblog/Tag with your thoughts!

please I know there could be better names for Yosuke and I know someone out there has a good Rise Thief Image, please

[fatexbound]

@thedetectiveofinaba​ asked: Shadow Yu, what's your opinion time on all IT members?

Unprompted | Always accepting

“Curious, aren’t you? They’re all the most annoying bunch of ‘friends’ I’ve ever met. But to be more specific...” He took a deep breath.

“Yosuke, oh my most ‘precious’ partner. He’s irritating, never shuts up about anything and of course, relies on me like a foolish, clingy lapdog looking for praise. He practically forced me to become a leader, as if I had another choice if I refused. If this mess hadn’t started, I would have lived a peaceful life.”

“Chie-san wants to protect those important to her which I can admire to an extent. But there’s a limit to how much meat and kung fu nonsense I can take in a day before I get a headache and want to scream at her to stop.”

“Yukiko-san is someone I can relate to in regards to meeting expectations from her family. I would have more insults such as her laughter... however, she’s not as bad as she looks.”

“Teddie is an innocent child looking for answers, like I was. A foolish creature that’s confused... and whom I will protect from any harm.”

“Kanji-kun isn’t as stupid as he looks. He must be getting tired of the various comments about his sexuality and his hobbies. I, on the other hand, couldn’t give a damn about all that. He can do whatever he wants and stay out of my way trying to act like a better man than me.”

“Rise-san is, by far, the worst. With her over the top cute attitude, smile, and obvious crush on me that I don’t understand! What does she see in a stoic, broken inside leader? I want her to get out of my face and stop clinging to me like a goddamn puppy! She’s not getting any kind of romantic affection from me!”

“Finally... Naoto is... someone I admire and love deeply. Her intelligence and beauty is something that always makes my heart faster... I don’t understand why she’s with me, with all my flaws, or how she’ll react if she finds me. Regardless, she and her Shadow are relatable to me. I only wish she would take better care of herself instead of me. I don’t... deserve all of her love and affection. I feel like one day she’ll abandon me like all the rest... I don’t want that to happen... I want to be with her forever.”

[muzzleroars]

Hey! Im the anon who asked how youd get along with the phantom thieves and i really liked it! Sorry if it was kinda weird but i thought it was interesting! (On a side note do you think you would get along with the investigation team?)

aaaa thank you!! it was actually fun to answer and like i said, i think other people should try it!! but as for the investigation team...i’ll do my best to remember them well, since i only played p4 once and they’re not as cemented into my brain as p5′s cast lol i feel like with yosuke, at the start, we’d get into a lot of arguments sdkfsdf i have some things i’m very opinionated about and it’s the only time i’m not afraid to speak up, so i think some of comments and the way he acts would rub me the wrong way at first. BUT i also think he’s empathetic and he has a lot of insight, with a lot of what he says more because he doesn’t think first or he’s putting on a facade, so we could learn to get along!! i just might get into a couple arguments with him first lol that kind of leads into how i would get along with chie - she’s not afraid to back down for what she believes in, and i really like that about her!! she’s definitely a lot more extroverted than i am and is super fit, so i might be kind of intimidated by her at first, but she’s so sweet, i think i would really like hanging out with her (plus like...just going and eating a TON with her would be the best) i think yukiko and i have some things in common, like being more introverted, having a weird sense of humor, and just. loving all things horror. like i would love to have a scary movie marathon with her!! she was honestly one of my favorites during my playthrough and i actually think we could get along well. now kanji i would SO be afraid of - he is going out of his way to be intimidating and he can be pretty loud BUT getting past that, i would love to hang out with him 🥺 i would so badly want to learn how to sew from him along with how to make plushes, plus he’s just a genuinely sweet person!! he’s quick to anger (tbf i can be too sdkfjsdf) but he really is so polite a lot of the time and he cares so deeply for his friends, i think he’s such a good guy ToT and rise well u guessed it i would be scared of her at first sdfksdf she’s so outgoing and so unafraid to be outrageous, plus she definitely has plenty of outbursts that all of it would make me kind of terrified of her skdfsdhf but again, rise is so sweet and she’s just super bubbly, and so i think being scared of her would wear off quickly since i realize she does a lot of what she does for fun, because she was trained to be over the top, and honestly to just hide some things about herself, and i understand that. and u know what. i’ll eat her spicy food. i love that spice IT’S GOOD. I KNOW EVERYONE IS SENSING A THEME HERE but naoto tbf is actually kind of scary. she’s so super serious and so smart, i think i might be scared to say the wrong things with her hhhghghhh but also, i really admire naoto and seriously how diligent and observant she is, plus she does have a shier side to her that i can relate too. and!! we’re both afab but have questioned our gender (i think i’m nb, and i could see naoto settling on the same - also!! i’m using she/her for her here because that’s what the game ultimately settles on, but trans naoto is super valid), so i sort of feel a connection to her that way in a sense...and it would be so cool to talk to someone about that experience and how it feels. and now. teddie. my arch nemesis. i’m so sorry to everyone who likes him but i....really....hate the pervy mascot character archetype, and i don’t like how he treats the girls a lot :( honestly, morgana was a lot more bearable (pun intended???????) to me than teddie, and i just don’t know how well i would get along with him because i feel....super uncomfy with someone that would flirt with me like that (as i’m often female-presenting, u kno?) BUT i will also say he can be one of the sweetest members of the group, and i know he’s trying really hard to fit in and be like the humans around him - basically what i’m saying is that if teddie learns boundaries, i would get along with him!! he cares a lot for his friends and he’s pretty funny too, i just...felt a lot of disrespect from the way he acts with the girls way too often. finally, the protag!! like with akira, souji is a silent protag, but i think i would get along with my interpretation of him! i think of him as being really neurotic, like i tend to be, and so we could totally relate over our constant anxieties. but also, i imagine he knows how to stay calm and collected, plus he loves looking out for others (big dad energy), so i think he would help me sort through my problems a lot more and help me cope a lot better than i do now. this one was fun too!! maybe once i play p3 i can think about this with that cast 🤔

[thermopylod]

Interrupted Lines - Chapter 3

[ao3 link] Persona 4 Souyo fic, T rating, major endgame spoilers. Excerpt below but if you haven’t read the other chapters read those first! ;) There was an awkward moment the next morning when Yu caught Rise’s eye as they walked down a corridor. He hesitated, wondering if he ought to act like he hadn’t seen her, when she took the decision out of his hands by acknowledging him with a small nod and walking past. She’d looked worn down and tired, he realised after she’d walked away. He felt guilty knowing he was why she wasn’t her usual bubbly self. But as the week progressed, her sadness seemed to fade. Heartbreak was still obvious on her face when she looked at him, but he caught glimpses of her with others, laughing over bowls of instant ramen with Chie and Yukiko at lunch one day, or strolling down a hallway arm in arm with Naoto and Kanji another, both blushing furiously while she all but sparkled.

Yu realised something as her smile grew brighter; he’d been approaching his relationships in Inaba all wrong. He’d thought that making friends meant listening to people and being whoever they needed him to be, be that taste-tester, helpful listener or exercise buddy. That was wrong, though. Relationships were a two-way street, and he’d been cheating both himself and his friends of a true bond by not opening up in return when they shared their stories with him.

He tried to change that, starting at home. Instead of passively listening to Nanako or Dojima and answering their uncertainties in the most appropriate way, he shared a little about himself, too. When Nanako told him that her favorite animals were birds and asked what his was, he told her the story of the tiny kitten he’d found in the snow in Tokyo when he was her age, and how his parents had helped him bring it to an animal clinic.

They’d come back to see the cat a few days later, and it had ran across the room to jump on Yu’s lap, purring. Yu had been so awed that the sad, limp little shape he’d brought in could now be so energetic and happy. It had taught him a lesson on resilience and on caring for those weaker than himself, on top of establishing his life-long love of cats. They hadn’t been able to adopt him, unfortunately; Yu’s parents moved around too much for them to keep a housepet. But every time Yu saw a cat outside, he was reminded of that kitten, and of the duty he had to help when he could. That was why he always carried around cat food, why he stopped to pet stray cats even when they looked a little bit dirty. If he could make their lives just a little better, then he’d done something worthy with his day.

Nanako listened to his story wide-eyed, and jumped onto his lap when he finished. “You’re awesome,” she said, making him struggle to swallow down a wave of emotion. “Someday, I’m gonna save a baby bird, just like you saved the kitten, Big Bro!”

Yu squeezed her close. Earning Nanako’s admiration was worth the awkwardness of actually talking about himself. He found similar rewards as he opened up to more people in his life, too; Yukiko laughed until she choked when he told her how his first attempt at making curry had turned out so spicy it had made both of his parents cry, and Kanji looked particularly touched when Yu asked if he could teach him how to make a bunny keychain, as a reminder of Yu’s late grandmother whose house had been decorated with all things rabbit.

After a few weeks, Yu finally allowed himself to try to talk to Yosuke. He knew that they weren’t going to go right back to where they’d left off months ago, and he wouldn’t have tried to ask for that. All he wanted was to spend time with him, any time at all. He tried showing up at Junes after school to help out with the evening rush. He suggesting studying together when Yosuke complained about not understanding a lesson. He offered to lend Yosuke his scooter when he mentioned his was in the shop. But every time, Yosuke turned him down, until one day at school, Yu asked if he could bring him a bento the next day.

Yosuke paused, giving Yu a look that was tired, but not angry, before he smiled wryly. “Yes, Yu, you can make me lunch if you insist.”

Yu knew it was a very small victory, but he felt like he was floating on air the rest of the afternoon. He headed straight to Junes after school to get ingredients and made ginger pork with veggies and rice, one of Yosuke’s favorite dishes. He was careful to garnish the bento box with precise care but no overly cutesy details; no heart shaped carrots or teddy-bear shaped rice. The next morning, he checked at least three times before leaving the house, and twice on the walk to school, that he’d packed both boxes in his bag. He knew he had to stay cool and act normal, but he wanted to jump for joy at the thought of getting to spend even just a lunch period with Yosuke again.

The meal was surprisingly uneventful. Yosuke declared his profound appreciation of Yu’s cooking, just as he had before, and they spoke of innocuous things, of video games and of movies they’d seen. One time, Yu accidentally mentioned Rise as he talked about a movie outing, and there was an awkward lull, but then Yosuke asked if he’d liked the main character’s motorcycle, raving over how good it had look, and the conversation moved on mostly intact. Before they headed back to class, Yu asked Yosuke if he wanted to go watch the latest action movie together that weekend, and when Yosuke accepted, he thought he’d won the lottery.

When someone new appeared on the TV that evening, he figured it wouldn’t impact their plans; they needed to wait for things to clear up on the TV before they could act, anyway. Then he received an unsigned letter threatening him if he saved the next person, and everything fell apart.

[read more]

[shadowtarot]

Painful Truths

Another Shadow Pain update in the same day? Here’s the previous one

The group begins their walk through the twisted city in search of Yu. The cramped buildings make the area out to feel more maze like then any other area they’ve been in before. 

But despite this, Yosuke seems to be having an easy enough time leading the others through it. 

“This area has shadows crawling everywhere...and lots of them too...” Chie gulps a bit. “Yu pretty much lost his Persona right? So he’s in here without any way to fight them...”

“Well doesn’t he have like...a whole bunch of Persona? If he lost one...he should still have the others, right?” Kanji suggests.

“I don’t think that’s the case, Kanji...” Teddie sighs. “If a Shadow rebels against it’s former Persona user, then naturally the others would follow like a heard. That’s how Shadows are, after all.”

“So in other words, Izanagi took all the others with him.” Yosuke sighs, shaking his head. “No wonder this place feels like the Reaper every step we take.”

Rise suddenly gasps, making everyone freeze. “Guys, look at the ground here..”

Taking a close look, they see blood splatters and a clear sign of a struggle.

“Did he fight here?” Yukiko asks, covering her mouth with her free hand.

Naoto crouches down and takes a closer look. “It’s recent. Senpai couldn’t have been here any sooner then twenty minutes prior to our arrival.”

Yosuke nods, hands folded on his chest. “Is there...a trail anywhere? As confident as I am as a guide, I think it would be best to speed up the process as much as possible.” 

Naoto shakes her head,adjusting her hat. “There doesn’t seem to be. But maybe Rise or Teddie can check?” 

The both nod and check the splatter themselves.

“But...normally these places resemble the feelings of the Shadow’s owner right? But a twisting city like this...it feels out of place...” Kanji sighs, shaking his head. “It’s not nearly as straight forward as any of ours, that’s for damn sure..”

“That’s just it.” Yosuke realizes something. “It’s not straight forward because...whatever Yu’s dealing with is a complex issue. Just like how the city we’re both from is complex..”

Chie nods, tapping her left foot. “Yeah, his shadow didn’t really offer any sorts of clues either. He mentioned this place being ‘Hell’ right? And the way he destroyed that camera...something tells me fighting that Shadow isn’t gonna be easy.”

“I’m picking up a faint trail!” Teddie suddenly announces. “Sensei seems to have been bleeding a lot after whatever happened here, so there’s enough for us to take the direct path he took!” 

The group follows Teddie as they begin to take a much more winding area, before they’re greeted at a gate by a large hulking humanoid Shadow.

“Ugh! We don’t have time for you!” Yosuke yells, drawing his Kunai in rage. “Let’s make this quick, guys!”

Yosuke moves around the shadow to keep it’s focus away from the others and dodges downward punches as he goes. 

Chie runs up to Kanji. “Throw me!” 

“Wait what?!” 

“If you throw me, I’ll be able to nail it in the head.” 

“Oh..guess that makes sense.” Kanji shurgs and gives her a boost into the air. 

“Taaaaaaaake this! WAAAA TAAA!” With a strong strike, she manages to nail the shadow in the head. 

“Nice going you two!” Yosuke smiles, laughing. “Alright we gotta take advantage of this opening!”

They rush the shadow from all sides.

“PERSONA!”

It collapses, close to death. Without a second thought, Yosuke throws a kunai right into the shadow’s ‘skull’ and watches as it dissipates into black and red mist. 

“Wow..we actually managed to win that..” Kanji sighs. “Shit’s a lot rougher when we don’t have Senpai...”

“That just means we have to keep training.” Chie exclaims. 

“But do you know what’s odd? Normally we would have encountered the Shadow by now. Yet we only found a guard.” Yukiko folds her fan and messes with it. 

“Yeah...Yu’s Shadow isn’t playing by the typical tropes we’re used to...”  Yosuke sighs. “Well, the stairs are here, so let’s keep moving.”

Descending deeper into the area, Teddie starts sniffing again. “That scent...I know that anywhere! Sensei’s on this floor!” 

“Seriously?!” Yosuke looks at Teddie. “Where is he?” 

“I’m beary sure he’s...this way!” 

The group follows Teddie, now almost sprinting. They had to, they needed to find him. And as they keep going...they see a figure hunched over and gasping for breath.

“Yu?” Yosuke runs straight over to him. “Dude, are you alright?”

Yosuke kneels down and puts a hand on his friend’s shoulder. 

But Yu doesn’t speak.

“Hey, Senpai...is everything okay?”

A laugh erupts from him...and it brings with it signs no one saw coming...

“Of course I’m fine...” ‘Yu’ stands, and faces the group...his yellow eyes telling all that they need to know.

“It’s his Shadow! But how were you able to mask yourself from my nose?!” Teddie growls.

“I didn't, that pathetic child you call your leader is over there...” The shadow gestures with his head to Yu...torn clothing with multible slashes scattered around his torso showing clear signs of a fight. 

“YU!” Yosuke tightens his grip on his kunai. “Wait...does that mean he already denied his shadow?” 

The shadow laughs, as a dark smirk spreads on his face before turning into a fang filled smile. “You really do care, don’t you? How unfortunate. This child is nothing more then a desperate smuck who clings to the first sign of affection or admiration he gets! As soon as he saw me, he denied everything I’ve been telling him since I was forced into cooperation! Such a weak spirit...yet you call him a LEADER? Pathetic.”

Yu struggles to stand. “Don’t you ....dare lay a hand on them...”

“Or what? You’ll be alone again? I thought you had resigned yourself to being a loner for all your life once you finished Middle School.” The shadow laughs.

Yu stands, wobbling just a bit before attempting to fight his own shadow.

“Useless...Persona.” 

A Jack Frost freezes Yu’s legs in place, and with no strengh to break himself free.

“Did his shadow just use one of Senpai’s Persona?!” Naoto exclaims.

“It’s like I said...the other Persona fled to whoever was the stronger of the two...”

“I guess this explains why his shadow didn’t transform. It’s powerful enough with just Yu-kun’s Persona...”

“We’re not dealing with your average shadow fight then...this really is on a different level.”

“Please everyone...just get out of here! I don’t want any of you to get killed just for my sake.” Yu pleads, trying his best to free himself from the ice. 

“Don’t be an idiot!” Yosuke shouts. “You helped us face ourselves...now it’s about damn time we repay that debt!”

[reeciespieces88]

Fortune Found

*Note: This is a cleaned up version of this story so Tumblr doesn’t flag it and just in case people would rather read a PG-13 story. If you are interested, the full version can be found here*

A crisp breeze blew through the quiet streets of Inaba's shopping district, sending a cold chill through the open door of Tatsumi Textiles. Kanji was setting up his new batch of knitted dolls in the shop's window and he shivered as the cold cut through his thin, long sleeved shirt. A few months had passed since the events at the LMB Festival and things had been quiet in his little town. It was quieter than he would have liked however; he hadn't heard from Naoto in that time either. He knew she was busy and he knew she would reach out to him in her own time, but that didn't stop him from worrying more with each passing day. Kanji wondered if he had made the right choice, asking Naoto for some “alone time”. She had agreed to it at the time, but maybe the weeks away caused her to change her mind? Kanji shook the thought from his mind.

'She's just busy,' he told himself. 'She's just dealing with that...apathy thing. She's saving people, like we always do.' Kanji jumped as his phone buzzed loudly, pulling him out of his head. He looked at his phone; it was a text message...from Naoto.

HELLO. ARE YOU AVAILABLE?

Kanji's hands shook as he quickly typed out a response.

Yes! I'm at the shop, if you want to stop by.

She didn't answer, but after a few minutes there was a soft knock at the door. Kanji turned around to see Naoto standing in the doorway.

“O-oh! N-Naoto!” Kanji exclaimed.

“I'm sorry, did I startle you?” Naoto asked, walking into the shop. “I was pretty close to the shopping district when I texted, so...”

“N-no! It's totally fine!” Kanji told her, smiling wide. “I'm just...I'm so happy to see you.”

“O-oh! That's good.” Naoto blushed, looking down at her feet. She noticed the pile of dolls sitting in the window. “Are you working? I can come back another time...”

“No! I'm pretty much done, just give me a sec...” Kanji put the last of the dolls on display and then ran back to find his mom to tell her he was going out. When he returned, Naoto was looking at one of his dolls with interest. Kanji smiled, proud of making something that could put such a cute look on her face.

“Do you want one?” Kanji asked, causing her to jump a little.

“No, I was just admiring them.” Naoto replied, setting it back down. “You are quite good at this sort of thing. I'm not sure if I've ever told you that before.”

“Y-yeah? Thanks.” Kanji said, running his hand through his hair. He was nervous, even though he had no reason to be. He had gone over this day in his head a million times, but now it was suddenly here and he had no idea what to do.

“So...?” Naoto said after a long moment of silence.

“O-oh! R-right!” Kanji stammered, embarrassed. “A-are you hungry? We could go over to Aiya.”

“That sounds great.” Naoto replied with a grin. They began walking up the street.

“So...how have you been?” Kanji asked.

“I have been well,” she told him. “I wrapped up as many of the loose ends in the apathy case as I could, but you can imagine that, with the strangeness of the truth in the case, I couldn't explain everything. But the police were happy with it and it helped that nobody died this time.”

“That's always a good thing. Does that mean you'll be home for a while?”

“Yes. I will be taking a break for a while to catch up on my studies. And, more importantly, to spend time with you and all of our friends.” Kanji nearly danced with joy. Naoto was not only staying in Inaba indefinitely, but she was staying to spend time with him. And their friends of course, but he chose to ignore that part for now.

“That's awesome! I can't wait to see ya at school again!”

“How about you?” Naoto asked. “How have you been?”

“I've been OK. Going to school, helping Ma at the shop, and I've even been learnin' how to dye. I still suck at it, but I'm not as bad as when I started.”

“That's good. Speaking of dye, your hair seems to have grown back in nicely since LMB.”

“Yeah, but Yosuke-senpai had a whole new set of jokes waiting for me during those first couple of weeks...” They walked into the restaurant and found a table. Their schoolmate, Aika, wasn't there, which Kanji was secretly happy for. He didn't think she would have bothered them, but this meant there wasn't even the opportunity. They had just ordered and were settling into a nice conversation when someone rushed into the restaurant and squeed.

“I knew it!”

Kanji's heart dropped. He knew that voice all too well. Looking towards the entrance he saw their good friend Rise, who was making a beeline for their table.

“I knew I saw you guys walk by! Naoto!” Rise hugged her from behind, nearly knocking the chair over. “Why didn't you tell anyone that you were in town!? Or, should I say, anyone else? Wait a minute,” Rise stopped suddenly and her eyes went wide. “Are you guys on a –”

“What!?” they said in unison. Kanji's face got hot and Naoto stared at the table. He didn't know what to say. He wanted it to be a date, more than anything. But he had never actually asked her out on one. Luckily Naoto spoke before he needed to figure it out, but her response couldn't have been worse.

“C-can't I just enjoy a dinner alone with my friend?” Friend. There they were: her true feelings. Kanji felt stupid for thinking that maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way he did. Why in the world would a girl like her fall for a guy like him? But Kanji buried those feelings for now.

“Y-yeah.” Kanji said, trying to feign agreement, an act he was sure he had failed. “She just happened to stop by and was hungry. That's all.”

“Oooook, if you say so...” Rise sounded skeptical, but thankfully she dropped the subject. “Well, I was on my way somewhere, so I'll leave you two be. But you better call me later and set up a gathering with the team!”

“Of course.” Naoto replied and they waved as she left. Once they were alone again, the conversation dried up almost completely. They sat in awkward silence as they ate; Kanji didn't feel much like talking. He would recover eventually, but for now he wanted to finish up this meal as fast as possible. He paid for their meals quickly and dashed out the door, Naoto trailing behind.

“It's still early.” she told him. “Was there anything else you wanted to do?”

“No, I think I'll just head home.” Kanji replied curtly. “I have...stuff. I-I'll see ya later, OK?”

“Oh. OK.” Naoto was taken aback by his response, but she allowed him to leave without question. She had an idea what had caused his sudden change in mood. What she didn't know was how she was going to repair it. Naoto started her walk home with a lot of things to think about.

Naoto walked slowly through the shopping district, her mind racing. She found herself in a bit of a conundrum. She felt somewhat guilty about what she had said to Rise the other day. From the moment she had insisted that they weren't on a date and that they were “just friends”, Naoto saw Kanji's face drop. But she had told Rise the truth, hadn't she? She and Kanji were just friends, or at least she thought they were. She wasn't so sure anymore. She had been thinking about him more and more ever since the LMB Festival, and him asking to spend time with her alone sure sounded like a date, even though he never called it one. She wasn't sure what any of these feelings meant or what to do about them, and the fact that Kanji was probably just as lost as she was wouldn't help matters any. But no matter what she decided to do, one thing was for certain: she needed to patch things up with Kanji before she lost the chance to make a choice in the first place.

As she headed up to Tatsumi Textiles, an advertisement on the job board caught her eye. It was an announcement about an event happening a few towns over that coming Sunday. Naoto smiled to herself; this was perfect. She took a moment to jot down the information in her notebook before continuing up the street. When she came to the shop, she peaked in cautiously. Kanji was no where to be seen, but his mother sat behind the counter. She smiled sweetly at Naoto as she stepped fully into the shop.

“Hello Naoto dear. Are you here for Kanji?”

“Yes ma'am.” Naoto replied. “He's not expecting me, so it's OK if he's not here...”

“No, no, he's here. He's just in his room working on something, you know how he is. You can go back if you want.”

“Thank you.” Naoto walked behind the shop into Kanji's living area. She navigated the hallway till she came to his open door. His back was to her and he had a pile of multicolored yarn on his lap. Naoto knocked softly on the door frame and he turned. He had some knitting needles in his hands and the pile in his lap seemed to be a blanket.

“O-oh! Naoto!W-what are you doing here?” Kanji said, clearly surprised.

“I'm sorry. Is this a bad time?”

“N-no! O-of course not! I just wasn't expecting to see you.” He gave her a warm smile. Naoto relaxed a little; it seemed as if she hadn't done too much damage. Kanji had always been a resilient one.

“I'm here because, well...b-because I wanted to know if you had any plans this Sunday.”

“Sunday?” Kanji considered for a moment. “N-no, I think I'm free.”

“Good! And you have a scooter now, right?”

“Yeah, got it a few months ago.”

“OK, then I'll see you Sunday.” Naoto turned to leave.

“Naoto, wait!” Kanji stood up to follow her, but he got caught up in the blanket on his lap and he fell over into a heap of yarn on the floor.

“Are you OK?” Naoto turned back into the room.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Kanji replied, picking himself back up. His face was bright red. “I just wanted to know where are we going on Sunday.”

“I think I will keep that a surprise.” Naoto replied. “You'll just have to trust me, OK?”

“O-oh! O-of course!” Kanji told her, shocked by the request. Naoto waved and left him to clean up the mess he had made. After bidding his mother a farewell, Naoto returned home to start preparations for Sunday.

Kanji was grateful for the warm day as he zoomed along on his scooter, following Naoto. He still had no idea where she was leading him, and he had never been the way they were headed before, but he trusted her enough not to question it. He was more than content with just being able to spend time with her, no matter where they ended up. Eventually they came to a little town and parked their scooters in front of a large building with a sign that read “Craft and Arts Show” in big read letters. Kanji couldn't hide his happiness as they removed their helmets.

“I've heard about this show, I just never wanted to ride out here by myself.” Kanji told her. “I can't believe this is where you wanted to take me!”

“I knew it would be somewhere you would like to go when I saw the flier.” Naoto explained as they walked to the front doors. “I thought this would be a nice event for us to visit together.”

“Well alright!” Kanji said with his normal enthusiasm. He opened the door for her and they journeyed inside. The two buzzed around the fair, stopping at every single stall. Kanji touched everything; he admired every piece of artwork, swapped ideas with other knitters, and he even picked up a few new patterns to try out in the future. There were also quite a few stalls that piqued Naoto's interest as well, offering crafts based on tech or clockwork pieces. After a few hours, they stopped at small concession stand for some ice cream and sat at one of the provided tables.

“Thanks for inviting me out here today,” Kanji said. “I just hope you're having as much fun as I am.”

“I am, so don't worry.” Naoto replied with a reassuring smile. “You might not think so, but I do enjoy spending time with you.” Not knowing what to say after that, the conversation fell into silence. But it was a comfortable silence; Kanji was happy to be there. It took some effort not to stare at her as they ate.

“Kanji?” Naoto said after a while. “I need to...I need to tell you something.”

“O-oh?” Kanji's comfortable feeling was immediately ruined. “W-what is it?”

“I had a...motive for inviting you out here today. I wanted to do it as an apology for the other day. I don't believe my reaction to Rise was very fair to you. But, at the same time, I don't know of her deduction was entirely correct either. Do you really think we are at the point where we are able to admit that we are 'dating'?”

“W-well, um...” Kanji didn't know how to answer her. As much as he wanted to tell the world that they were dating, he knew they weren't anywhere near that point yet. Kanji sighed and shook his head.

“There is one thing I do know, however.” Naoto continued. “I hope you will accept my offer to spend more time together and see where that goes. No promises that it will go anywhere, but we would be together, which would be the whole point correct?” Kanji considered her proposal for a moment.

“So, we're not dating, but we're still going to hang out together?” Naoto nodded. “Sounds like a good plan to me!” Naoto smiled, seeming relieved. Kanji smiled back, happy that they had finally come to a solid decision about where they stood. And he was happy with any solution that meant more time with Naoto. “Come on, it'll be dark soon. We should hit up any stalls we want to see again before we have to go.” They finished up their ice cream and headed back into the fair, both excited about the start of the next stage in their relationship.

A few weeks passed and things were going as smooth as they could be. Kanji and Naoto hadn't brought up their relationship since the day at the craft show, but there hadn't been a need to. In between class and hanging out with the I.T. members that were still in Inaba, they made sure to find time to see each other alone. More often than not they just studied together at one of their houses, but it was better than nothing. They were slowly opening up to each other, talking about their families and childhoods. Soon, they knew more about each other than anyone else among their friends. They found themselves in a comfortable routine that they were both happy with. One Saturday afternoon, they had the rare opportunity to spend time alone at Junes. Both Yosuke-senpai and Teddie were off of work and doing other things, Yukiko-senpai was working at the Inn, Chie-senpai was too busy studying to be out and about, and Rise was once again out of town for work. There was very little chance that they would be interrupted as they searched for a table on the crowded roof of Junes.

“Over there!” Kanji exclaimed, spying a free table over the heads of the people gathered around. The two made a beeline for it before it could be snatched up. “Turns out my height is good for something! You hold the table and I'll go get us some beefsteaks. Sound good?”

“Yes, thank you.” Naoto replied, taking a seat. Kanji nodded and disappeared into the crowd. Naoto watched the people as they milled about, deep in their own conversations. She found herself spacing out, mind wondering, not landing on any specific thoughts. Naoto was snapped back into reality suddenly by someone sitting at her table that wasn't Kanji. He was a boy about her age and wearing a different school uniform. But, in spite of that and with her wearing her usual male version of the Yasogami uniform, he still somehow knew she was a girl because he immediately started to hit on her.

“Hey, what's a cute girl like you doing sitting all alone?” he asked, his voice dripping with sleaze. Naoto groaned.

“I am allowed to sit in whatever company I wish to and in yours is not one of them.”

“Aw, come on!” the boy pouted. “Let me buy you lunch, I'll show you a good time.” He was being uncomfortably aggressive, but it wasn't anything Naoto couldn't handle. That didn't mean she liked it much, however.

“Thank you for your...kind offer, but I am not as alone as you seem to think I am.” Naoto explained calmly. “I am actually here with someone and he is already purchasing us some food.”

“Well, I think you should ditch that loser and come with me!” His voice was almost angry, which was starting to make Naoto mad herself. This boy, whom hadn't even shared his name yet, had no right to speak to her that way, nor did he have any right to speak about Kanji that way. Just as she was about to say as much, a long shadow fell over the table as someone walked up to it.

“Hey, buddy, whatcha think you're doing!?” Kanji growled, setting their food down on the table. Naoto smiled; even though he had softened his image over the last year, Kanji could still be an imposing presence when he wanted to be.

“This nerd? This is who you're with?” the boy said mockingly.

“Ya, what of it?” Kanji glared down at him before picking the boy up by the collar and lifting him out of the seat. “Git yer ass out of my seat and go home!”

“Hey, HEY! Put me down!” the boy whined until his feet were on the ground and Kanji let him go. “You are going to regret that, you bitch!” He ran off.

“Eh, get bent!” Kanji called after him and then turned to Naoto. “You OK?”

“Yeah, I've dealt with tougher suspects.” Naoto replied smugly. “But I won't say that I wasn't glad you came and saved me some of the headache of dealing with him myself.”

“Not a problem.” Kanji smiled, proud. “OK, let's chow down!”

“Right!” They started eating, nearly forgetting the incident ever happened. Kanji and Naoto found themselves deep in conversation, causing them to stay at Junes until the shop closed up for the evening. With the sun already set but neither wanting the conversation to end, the two headed out towards Kanji's for some tea. Along the way, they found themselves on a dark, empty road. It was a road they had both traveled plenty of times, but not often in the dark so they stood a little closer together than they normally would. Kanji suppressed the urge to throw his arm over Naoto; he wasn't so sure how she would take it. Suddenly, Naoto stopped walking.

“Hmm?” Kanji stopped and looked at her.

“Shh. Do you hear something?” They looked around, straining their eyes against the dark. “Someone's there...” Out of the dark came a figure and Kanji took up a more defensive stance, putting himself as far between Naoto and the figure as he could without offending her; he knew full well she could take care of herself but that wasn't going to stop him from protecting her. Naoto gasped as the figure became clearer.

“You!” she exclaimed, recognizing the boy from Junes earlier today.

“What the hell do you want!” Kanji demanded.

“Hey, you watch yer mouth!” he threatened. “I told you that you were going to regret blowing me off!” Sounds of footsteps rang out around them. Looking around, Naoto counted at least six boys, all wearing matching school uniforms as the first one. They started to form a tight circle, blocking any possible escape route. A one of the members even held a baseball bat. The gang was clearly looking for a fight.

“Naoto?” Kanji said, noticing her stern look. “Ya know I'm always down for a rumble, but I've been tryin'...” Naoto shook her head.

“No, I believe this is one time where you have no choice.” she told him. “Sometimes, you just have to fight.”

“Well, if you insist...” Kanji replied, giving her an evil grin. He really had been trying to stay out of fights, but Naoto knew that fire still burned in his belly. “This is your last chance to walk away, you don't know who yer messing with.”

“Yo, Seiichi, this is the guy you had trouble with?” one of the punks said to the first boy.

“Hey, we were at Junes, I'm not stupid!” Seiichi replied. “He's gonna get his ass beat now, though!” A murmur ran through the group and they slowly began to move closer.

“Bad choice.” Kanji moved suddenly, taking the nearest thug off guard with a strong punch to his jaw, dropping him immediately. Naoto followed his lead, sweeping the leg of another, sending him to the ground and giving him a swift kick to the ribs. The gang quickly got over their initial surprise and one of them grappled Naoto from behind. They were underestimating her due to her small stature, but what they didn't know was that she was very good at using her attacker's strength against them. Thinking quickly, she threw her head back and bashed her assailant in the nose. As soon as he released her, she turned and kneed him in the stomach. The punk doubled over and fell to the ground, and Naoto prepared for the next attacker.

The thugs were far more reluctant to attack Kanji after his first punch. He couldn't help but smile; he had missed the rush of a good brawl. He eyed one of punks, yelling loudly as he shoulder charged him into the building behind him. The boy slumped to the ground and Kanji turned towards the  next hooligan; it was Seiichi, who had hit on Naoto and started everything. He decided to mess with him a bit before he pummeled him.

The last delinquent who stood against Naoto held a bat in his hand, which he was dropping in and out of his other hand menacingly. She was waiting for an opening when he suddenly charged at her. Naoto dodged out of the way, but she was barely too slow and took a hit to the back that sent her sprawling. She was sure he was about to strike again, so she was starting to brace herself when she heard a loud thud from Kanji's direction. She looked up to see him walking away from a thug on the ground and towards Seiichi. Unfortunately, so did the punk with the bat.

“Ah, thanks for the workout. It's been a little while since I've been able to beat the crap out of little shits like you.” Kanji told him, cracking his knuckles. Seiichi stood strong, but his eyes betrayed him. “Standing your ground, huh? Way to be a man! A stupid man, but still a man.” Kanji brought his fist back, ready to strike.

“Kanji! Look out!” Naoto called. Kanji turned to see a delinquent with a bat coming at him. He swung at him, but Kanji caught it and pulled the bat from his hand, booting him to the ground. With bat in hand, Kanji turned to the last boy standing. But it was clear that this fight was over; Seiichi had run over to his friend by the wall and was pulling him off the ground clumsily. The gang members who were still conscious were running down the street.

“Yeah, that's what you get!” Kanji yelled after them, dropping the bat. He turned to see Naoto on the ground and his spirits dropped. He rushed over to her. “Naoto! Are you OK? Are you hurt!?”

“No, no, I'm fine. Really.” Naoto replied.

“Thanks for the call out there.”

“Of course, I wasn't about to let him bash you over the head with a baseball bat.” Naoto rolled over onto her back. “That was my first real brawl. I feel like I've finally been initiated into Club Kanji.” Kanji chuckled.

“Well, I could have let you in a lot sooner if you woulda just asked.” Kanji reached out his hand to her. “Come on, let's get back to my house before someone finds us here and starts asking questions.” Naoto took his hand and he pulled her to her feet. But Kanji pulled a little too hard and she fell into him. Kanji's heart immediately jumped up into his throat and time seemed to slow down. Naoto didn't back away, instead she looked up at him with flushed cheeks. They stood there, holding each other, for a long moment as they both tried to remember to breathe. Suddenly, Kanji was overcome by a wave of emotion and found his body moving on its own as he leaned down to kiss her. To his surprise, Naoto rose up as far as she could to meet his lips as well. As the kiss ended, he backed his head away and looked down at her. His heart was pounding and everything inside of him was screaming for him to kiss her again. Naoto must have felt the same, because she reached up and forcefully pulled him back down to her lips again. She kissed him long and hard, and they were both breathing heavily when she finally let him go. Kanji grabbed her hand and started leading her towards his home, stopping for more kisses along the way.

Yada yada yada...

Kanji shifted in his bed, flashes of the night before playing in his mind. He happily relived every moment, every feeling. And it wasn't even just that he had had sex for the first time; it was that he got to have it with Naoto and it was just as wonderful as he had imagined it would be. He couldn't wait for the moments after; he wanted to kiss her and hold her and just be with her for as long as she would let him. Wanting to start right away, Kanji rolled over to embrace her, but no one was there. He shot up and looked around. Naoto was gone; there was just a single sock left as proof that the night before wasn't a dream. His heart sank. He wondered if maybe he had done something wrong, that he screwed things up like he always did. With his happiness gone and a deep sigh, Kanji stood up to take a shower and start his day.

The next few days went by in a blur. Kanji was on autopilot; he woke up, went to school, went home, and went to bed. He hadn't seen or heard from Naoto since their night together, she had seemingly disappeared. He was avoiding the rest of his friends all together and the only reason he still attended school was that was a promise to himself that he had intended to keep. Deep down, Kanji wanted to look for her but he simply couldn't muster up the energy to do so. He wanted to know what he had done wrong. Did he somehow force himself on her? Was he reading all of her signals wrong? He couldn't imagine how that could be, but there had to have been something. That night had become the best and the worst night of his life, and it had left him feeling empty, like a shadow.

At the end of the week, Kanji was walking home from school when he heard someone calling his name. It sounded so distant and he didn't care to stop, so he ignored it and continued to shuffle down the street. The calling continued and got closer until someone behind him grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop.

“Damn it Kanji, what the heck is wrong with you!?” Rise said, pulling him to face her, clearly upset.

“Oh, hey Rise,” he said, emotionless. Rise scowled.

“What is going on with you? You have been ignoring our texts, avoiding us at school...did we do something to make you mad?”

“What? No, no of course not.” Kanji reassured her, feeling a bad for making his friends think such a thing. “I've just been...going through a rough time.”

“Well, that's not when you stop seeing your friends, dummy! Can I help at all?” Kanji shook his head sadly.

“No. Not yet anyway. Maybe, after a little while but for now I need to work this out on my own.” Rise nodded, dropping the subject. But she still had a worry in her eyes. “Somethin' wrong?”

“Yeah, it's Naoto.” Kanji's heart dropped at the mention of her name. “We haven't seen her in days, none of us. She hadn't said she was going off on a case or anything. We were hoping you had seen her.”

“No, I haven't seen her since-” Kanji stopped short as he felt a pain of sadness erupt in his stomach. “About a week ago. I haven't seen her since then.”

“Oh no, I hope she's alright...” Rise looked worried.

“This is Naoto we are talking about, remember.” Kanji tried to reassure her. “I am sure she just absentmindedly started chasing some lead and forgot to tell us.” He was lying; he had a feeling she was avoiding everyone just like he was. But the fact that nobody had seen her at all in a week did worry him a little. After promising to inform the group if he did hear from her, as well as promising he was OK as well, they went their separate ways. Despite the idea making his stomach turn with unease, Kanji decided to stop by her house, just to make sure she was safe.

Kanji knocked on Naoto's door and waited. After a few moments, Naoto's grandfather opened it. Kanji inquired about Naoto's whereabouts, but her grandfather just shook his head. She hadn't been home since the day after their night together, but he wasn't too worried yet since, just as Kanji had told Rise, Naoto sometimes gets a little too wrapped up in her cases. Kanji thanked him and left, feeling more worried than ever. This wasn't just her avoiding him and he was certain she wasn't just on some case. Something had happened to her and he was determined to find out what.

Kanji spent the rest of the evening searching Inaba. He went to every place he could think of, asked every person who might have seen her. He contacted the rest of the Investigation Team, making sure not to mention any specifics about the last time he had seen her. They even brought Yu-senpai into the loop on the off-chance that something had caused Naoto to head to Tokyo. It was late in the evening before Kanji returned home, tired from the day but too worried to sleep. He blamed himself; maybe whatever had made her mad at him caused her to lower her guard and get herself into trouble. Maybe it was that group of thugs they had fought that night, they could have overpowered her without him there. His restless mind led him to sitting at the table in his living room, staring at nothing in the darkness.

Kanji wasn't sure how much time had passed as he zoned out, his mind bouncing between trying to think of where Naoto might be and reliving moments of their night together. He took some comfort in the latter and soon his eyes grew heavy. Suddenly, a bright light and a loud static sound caused him to shoot awake. It was his TV; it was showing a familiar fuzzy snow. Kanji looked at the clock: midnight. Confused, he studied the screen carefully. In the static, he saw a figure he knew all to well; Naoto had somehow found her way back into the TV world. The image steadily be came clearer and Kanji was shocked to see what she was wearing. It was a lacy black number; the kind of thing women wear in magazines he's of course never read before.

“Hello out there,” she said, her voice dripping with seduction. “I have found myself opened up to a brand new world of pleasure...Would anyone care to join me?” She giggled and then pouted. “Well too bad! I have my sights on one hunk of meat already. I wonder if he is man-enough to handle wittle. Ole. Me.” She gave a wink and the screen faded to black. Without thinking, Kanji immediately dived head first into his TV screen, disappearing into it as if he was diving into a swimming pool, and leaving his living room empty once more.

After a few moments of familiar disorientation, Kanji landed with a hard thud. After a year of exploring this world, he would have assumed that he would be use to the fall or at least better at the landing. He rubbed his tailbone as he stood, surveying the area. A large building stood before him; it reminded him of the hotel they had stayed at during their trip to Tatsumi Port Island. Kanji's eyes widened as he remembered what his senpais had told him about that particular hotel and he rushed into the building without a second thought. Beyond the front door was a long hallway, the end of which he couldn't see from where he stood. Every few feet along either wall was a door, spanning the entire hall. Kanji took a deep breath before kicking in the first door on his right. Looking into the room, it seemed to be a small hotel room with a bed, nightstand, and even a tiny bathroom. And while he didn't find Naoto, he did find something else familiar: shadows.

“Shit!” Kanji cursed as the shadows attacked him. “Take-Mikazuchi!” In a sudden burst of light, Kanji's persona appeared, towering over him. He took out the shadows in one swipe and Kanji turned to the next door. It might be slow going, but Kanji was ready to knock down every door in order to find Naoto.

Naoto woke up, her head pounding. She couldn't tell where she was because her vision was fuzzy. What she did know was that she couldn't move her arms. Something was tied around her wrists, binding them behind her back. Naoto blinked a few times, trying to clear her head and get her bearings. A sickeningly familiar chuckle snapped her out of her daze.

“No...” Naoto muttered under her breath. She didn't have any time to examine the room around her; all of her attention was on the person who stood before her. It was a woman in some sort of lacy lingerie; it was skimpy and black, and it was very uncomfortable for Naoto to look at because the person wearing it looked exactly like her, only with golden yellow eyes.

“Aw, what's wrong?” her shadow asked, pouting. “Don't like seeing yourself like this?” She did a small twirl, giving Naoto a full look, and giggled. “Well, you better get use to it. This is what he'll expect from you now. That...Kanji...” Her shadow shuttered with excitement.

“Stop it!” Naoto demanded, straining against her restraints.

“What!? Come now, don't pretend like you didn't notice!” Her shadow licked her lips seductively. “He really is something though. All those muscles...and then there's everything below the belt–”

“Shut up!” Naoto felt a wave of anger rise up within her, but she could already feel her strength waning. She was in the TV world, it was obvious now, and being without her persona was already taking it's toll. She knew that she wasn't going to be able to handle this alone; she was fairly certain that trying to handle things on her own was how she ended up back here in the first place. But it was too late now. All she could hope for was that her friends got here and fast, before things took a deadly turn for the worst.

“Of course it's the last God damn door in the God damn place!” Kanji growled, busting through into the largest room so far. He wasn't immediately attacked by shadows when he entered, so he took a look around. The room looked like another hotel room, only much larger. A giant chandelier hung from the ceiling, dousing the room in red hues. The walls were covered in mirrors of different sizes, placed seemingly randomly. There was a trail of large rose petals that lead from the door to a giant, heart-shaped bed covered in frilly pillows and silky sheets. Kanji's eye stopped as soon as he noticed someone tied to the bed.

“Naoto!” Kanji called, racing up to the bed.

“Kanji?” Naoto said, sounding groggy. She looked exhausted, but that was how people sometimes got in the TV world. Kanji made quick work of the knots around her wrists and pulled her into a hug.

“I'm...fine, Kanji. Really...” Naoto told him, pushing away. She wouldn't look him in the eye, but Kanji wasn't worried about that right now.

“What the hell happened? How did you end up here?”

“I...fell.” Naoto replied. “I started...hearing a voice while I was working late one night and all of a sudden a light came from the living room...”

“Let me guess: it was midnight.” Naoto nodded.

“It was a static picture, but someone was talking to me. I was curious, so I got closer to try and hear better, and then it felt like I was being pulled in. That's when I woke up here.”

“Well, let's get out of here.” Kanji said, holding out his hand. Naoto hesitated for a moment before taking it. “Once we're safe we can figure–”

“Ooooo, there you are! My man...” Kanji froze, the sudden voice sending a cold shiver down his spine. He knew that voice, though he wished he didn't. He turned to see Naoto's shadow standing by the far side of the bed, half naked and grinning. She was hard to look at, just about as hard as it was to look at his own shadow the first time, but for completely different reasons. He knew he was blushing and did his best to steel himself. This was no time for embarrassment; Naoto needed him. And it was helpful that he didn't like the way she was eyeing him. Kanji felt like a fat mouse being starred down by a hungry cat, ready to devour him.

“So, what do you think?” the shadow cooed. “This is what you wanted, isn't it.”

“What the hell are ya talkin' about!?” Kanji roared, his embarrassment replaced by anger.

“You've always wanted this, haven't you? Ever since the day we met. You wanted to to be with me...you got to be with me...This is always a man's end goal with a woman, isn't it?”

“Hell no! I care about Naoto! I want to spend time with her because she is smart and strong, and I consider myself lucky that she allowed me to be with her in that way. I can't say that I never thought about what it would be like...But I never, ever thought of it as a prize at the end of some game! And she knows that...right?” Kanji looked at Naoto, who was kneeling on the bed beside him. She still wouldn't look at him, looking down at the bed sheets instead. “Naoto?” Her shadow began to laugh.

“Of course, you weren't the only person involved, were you?” she said, turning her attention to Naoto. “You wanted it, just as bad as he did. You couldn't wait to lie with a man and you spread your legs for the first man that would be with you.”

“No,” Naoto sobbed.

“Do you deny it then?” her shadow asked, cackling. “Do you deny wishing for it? Wanting it? And, after you had him, do you deny wanting more? I know all of the dirty little thoughts you have had about this man, why not act upon them again like the whore you are!”

“Shut up damn it!” Kanji growled.

“N-no, I-I'm not...” Naoto muttered.

“Naoto, don't!”

“I'm not...That's not...” She couldn't finish the sentence but that must've been all her shadow needed to hear. She started laughing manically as energy started to flow around her.

“No, of course not! You're not me at all! But I bet you wish you were; oh the things I am going to do to your man...” Kanji knew what was coming next so he positioned Take-Mikazuchi near her. Suddenly, Naoto's shadow transformed. She looked less like Naoto and more like a demon, sporting wings, horns, and even a tail. She was still strikingly beautiful and wearing next to nothing, but Kanji was no longer phased by it. Her not sharing Naoto's face anymore made the battle much easier.

Naoto's shadow was fast; she was fast last time too. Unfortunately, Yu-senpai was the one who had slowed her down and ultimately beat her back then. But Kanji, being his ever optimistic self, knew he could beat anyone. He also knew that he didn't have much of a choice, since Yu-senpai wasn't here this time. Kanji did his best to channel his senpai and strategize. He knew his persona was slower, so he took up a defensive position, making sure he was between Naoto and her shadow at all times, and waited for an opening.

The shadow flew around the room, firing of blasts of dark energy. As Take-Mikazuchi took the hits, Kanji felt them but luckily they weren't too bad. With every opportunity, his persona took swings at her, hitting her on occasion. But the damage seemed minimal and left the shadow unphased. Kanji knew this wasn't how the shadow was going to be stopped, so he turned his attention back to Naoto.

“Naoto?”

“I-I am fine,” she told him. She was lying, of course, but he pressed on anyway.

“Will you tell me what the hell happened? How did your persona revert!?”

“I-I don't...” She truly looked at him for the first time since he had arrived. She looked scared and sad. If he was being honest, he was pretty sure he knew what the cause of all of this was. What he still didn't understand was why.

“OK, so this is probably has something to do with the fact that we -” Naoto nodded. “Alright, but why? How did that one night turn into this?” Naoto was silent. She clearly didn't want to tell him, but she had to if they wanted to get out of there alive. “Damn it Naoto, you know how this goes!” Kanji said, flinching as his persona continued to take multiple attacks. “You just have to accept whatever yer feeling and we can get the hell out of here!”

“I know, I just...” Naoto held her head, clearly in pain. Kanji wanted nothing more than to help her, but he knew she needed to work this out on her own. However, since he was heavily involved this time, maybe he could help her along. Kanji sighed.

“OK, let's work this out.” He knelt down and looked her in the eye. “Do you regret it?” Naoto was silent for a long time, considering.

“No, but I think that's the problem.” she finally said. “I feel like I should regret it. Every time I think about it, I think of a reason why I should: we're too young, we're not in a relationship, it just sort of happened without any prior discussion...But in spite of all of that, I still don't regret what happened.”

“So, is that a bad thing?”

“Maybe?” Naoto replied, choking up as the weight of everything started to hit her. “I just...does that make me...”

“What?” Kanji barked, aware of how harsh he was being but he was also starting to wear down from the attacks he was enduring.

“...a harlot?” Kanji looked at her, confused. She sighed. “A-a slut or a whore, you know? I always try to hold myself to a higher standard, but the fact that I succumbed to my more...primal urges so easily...”

“So is that all that night was to you then!?” Kanji asked, hurt by her words. “It was just a mistake? An accident that happened because I somehow woke some crazed, sexual monster inside of you!?” Naoto was taken aback by his outburst. He placed a hand on hers. “Naoto, I've liked you since the moment I met you. Even when I thought you were a dude, I knew I was starting to fall for you. All I ever wanted was to be with you and to someday tell you how I felt. So, even though this wasn't something I was specifically aiming for, I am happy that it happened. Getting to be so close to you, even for such a short amount of time, makes anything that happens after worth it. Even if we never do it again, even if you never want to see me again, I wouldn't trade that night for anything. B-because...because...” Kanji swallowed hard, his mouth dry and his heart pounding. “Because I love you, Naoto. And there is one thing that I need to know so that we can fix all of this crap: do you have feelings for me?”

“What!?” Naoto replied, shocked by his sudden confession and the bluntness of his question.

“Damn it, we don't have time to be shy about this shit anymore!” Kanji scolded her, groaning as he endured another attack. “Isn't there any way, any way at all, that the reason you succumbed to me wasn't because you are some sort of secret sexual deviant, but be cause you have feelings for me too?” Kanji cautiously waited for her response, knowing full well that her denial wouldn't only harm her, but break him as well. But Naoto's expression suddenly turned from sadness to her normal steely determination.

“I think you may be right.” she said, squeezing his hand. “I've been so caught up in what people might think of me and the supposed 'mistake' I've made. But here is what I think: whenever I think about that night, it makes me...happy. I am so happy that I got to share something so intimate with you. And while we had yet to establish a romantic relationship with each other, where are the rules that say that we have to?” Naoto stood up and addressed her shadow, who had stopped fighting and started listening intently. “Yes, I had sex with Kanji and yes, I enjoyed it. That doesn't make me a whore, that makes me human. I also find him attractive, but not only just physically. I am attracted to his loving heart, his fierce loyalty, and his indomitable spirit. I don't know what will happen between us after this, but that's OK. As long as I can still call him my friend and he'll stand by my side, then I know everything will work out just fine. Because...” Naoto looked up at Kanji, who had also stood up, and gave him a warm smile. “Because, I think I may love you as well.” With that, the shadow erupted in a flash of light that engulfed her. Above her appeared a familiar small, blue figure; Sukuna-Hikona had returned to normal. Naoto fell to her knees, exhausted.

“Naoto!” Kanji said, leaning down to support her.

“I'm fine, really. I'm just tired.” Kanji helped her to her feet. He tried to support her as they attempted to walk out of the room, but he opted to carry her in his arms due to their height difference. She didn't seem to mind.

“Thank you...for coming to save me.”

“Of course! What did'ja think I was gonna do?”

“I don't know; I thought you might have been mad at me...”

“I'm not gonna lie to ya, I was a little mad at you for a while. I though I had done something wrong.”

“I am sorry about that. But, if it is any consolation, I thought I had done something wrong as well.”

“But, ya don't now?” Naoto shook her head. Kanji felt a buzz of excitement rise up in his chest. “So, d-do you really?”

“Really what?”

“Y-you know...do you really...l-love me?”

“I think it is entirely possible that I do.” she replied, almost smugly. “Is that OK?”

“Y-yeah, of course it's OK! But, does that mean...”

“I suppose it does.”

“Hell no! If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right!” Kanji stopped and set Naoto down on her feet gently. He bowed slightly. “N-Naoto! Would you please be my g-girlfriend!” He said it too loudly and Naoto laughed at him.

“Yes Kanji, I would love to be.”

“WHAAAAT!?” A chorus of voices had rung out from down the hall in front of them. Kanji looked up to see the entire rest of the Inaba Investigation Team standing there, shocked by the scene that they had just witnessed. Both Kanji and Naoto turned beat red; this was not the way they wanted to tell their friends about their relationship.

“Oh my God! You guys!” Rise squealed.

“What the heck is going on?” Chie-senpai asked.

“I-is he confessing!?” Yukiko-senpai chimed in.

“Kanji, dude, good on you but what the hell is wrong with your choice of location?” Yosuke-senpai added.

“Ooh! Is Kanji 'scoring' with Nao-chan?” Teddie asked.

“Shut it bear!” Kanji growled. “What the hell are you all doing here?”

“We came to look for you, Moronji!” Rise replied.

“We were all awake pretty late after searching for Naoto and that's when we saw the Midnight Channel.” Chie-senpai explained.

“We all planned on meeting in the usual spot the next morning, but when you didn't answer the text and didn't show up at Junes, we all knew that you were dumb enough to dive in by yourself.” Yosuke-senpai continued. “How were you planning on getting out of here again without Teddie anyway?”

“W-well...I hadn't thought that far ahead yet!” Kanji defended and the group all laughed at him.

“What even happened, Naoto?” Yukiko-senpai asked, changing the subject. “It was clearly you on the Midnight Channel. Did your shadow return?”

“Yes, well...” Naoto had trouble finding the right words. How were they supposed to explain what happened without telling them what actually happened? “K-Kanji and I had gotten into a bit of a...fight. I was feeling particularly guilty about it and, well, one thing led to another and now here we are. It is all taken care of though.”

“Oh, so is that why you were acting so strange last week, Kanji?” Rise asked and he nodded. “Alright, but that still doesn't explain why your shadow created...this...” She gestured to the decor of the hallway and rooms. “Plus, your shadow was saying some really strange things...Wait a minute; what in the world were you fighting about? Kanji, you didn't...You two, you didn't-”

“Well now,” Naoto quickly interrupted before they could head down that line of questioning. “As much as I would like to talk about the my shadow, I am very tired after my ordeal and wish to go home, so Teddie, if you wouldn't mind?” Thankfully the group agreed to get Naoto home to recover and Teddie created his normal TV portal home. Rise continued to look on them knowingly as they said their goodbyes, leaving Naoto to rest in her bed. Kanji wanted nothing more than to stay and wait by her side, but he could feel Rise's eyes on him and he didn't want to make her more suspicious than she already was. He used him being tired himself to head home, promising to meet back up with everyone as soon as Naoto felt better. As he finally lied down into bed, his thoughts were filled with one thing: Naoto was officially his girlfriend and he couldn't be happier.

A few days passed before Naoto contacted the group saying she was up and about again. They all planned on meeting up at Junes on the next day everyone was free to do so. As soon as that day rolled around, Kanji made sure he headed out early. He wanted to make sure he would be the first person to see Naoto, so he decided to surprise her at her house. Her grandfather greeted him at the door and told him that Naoto was getting ready in her room. Kanji headed there, peaking in quietly as she was fussing with her hair before knocking softly on her door frame. She jumped slightly, startled, before turning around to see him.

“Oh!” she side, smiling a little. “Hello.”

“Hey.” Kanji replied, stepping fully into the room. She looked great; they had only been communicating via texts since she got back home and Kanji had missed her. “It's great to actually see you again. Are you sure you're feeling better?” Naoto nodded.

“I wouldn't have said I would meet with everyone if I wasn't. Everyone would have just rushed me back home otherwise.”

“Ya, probably.” They grew silent, neither sure what to talk about. After a few moments, Kanji decided to bring up the only thing that had been on his mind for days. “So, I just want to make sure since I know I can be super dense sometimes, but you're answer is still 'yes', right?” Naoto smiled at him sweetly.

“Yes, that's still my answer.” she replied, walking right up to him and pulling him down into a passionate kiss. As they finally pulled away from each other, both sighed happily.

“Now that that's been established, what about if we ever want to...ya know...”

“Um...Oh!” Naoto blinked as she realized what he meant, her face getting hot at the idea of having sex with him again. “W-well, I suppose that would just have to be something we decide together. Whenever the time feels right.”

“And you're sure you're OK with it now? You're not going to run away again?” Naoto nodded.

“I'm sure. I love you, Kanji. And I know that it's something I want to do with the person I-” She was interrupted as Kanji pulled her up into another deep kiss. They were officially going to be late to their meeting, but neither cared as they quietly shut the bedroom door.

[chroniccombustion]

Caught in the Grey (ch 4)

Genre: Trans!AU, hurt/comfort, romance, angst with a happy ending Rated: T Characters: Souji Seta (Yu Narukami), Yosuke Hanamura, Naoto Shirogane, Kanji Tatsumi, Investigation Team, Izanagi/Shadow!Souji Warnings: depression, dysphoria, disassociation, self-hatred, implied suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, mentions of homophobia, implied past child abuse and transphobia, canon-typical violence, mild sexual content Status: multi-chapter, incomplete

Playlist: Spotify | Youtube <- previous chapter | next chapter ->

It’s not fair; Souji is already one of the best looking guys in Inaba. Yosuke knows it, can admit it now, because there really isn’t any way he couldn’t, what with the sheer number of admirers his partner has amassed, which also isn’t fair. To be forced to admit that Souji also makes one of the best looking girls Yosuke has ever seen is just downright cruel. He’s gorgeous.

Chapter 4: Dream About That Casual Touch

“I over communicate and feel too much, I just complicate it when I say too much. I laugh about it, dream about that casual touch. Sex is fire, I’m sick and tired of acting all tough.”

- (“Feelings”, Hayley Kiyoko)

October

 The noise level backstage is weird. Yosuke can hear the muffled sounds of the students out in the auditorium, the volume masking just how many people are actually there, waiting to see a bunch of guys forced into dresses against their will. Everything is just… bullshit. (He hates the girls so much right now; even if he does kind of deserve it after getting them all trapped in a similar boat.)

He scratches nervously at the sweater… vest… thing that Chie had given him to wear. It’s itchy. How come girls’ clothes are so uncomfortable? Are all girls’ clothes like this? He really hopes not. That would suck.

Speaking of suck, the backstage area is not a place Yosuke has ever been before but has quickly decided is not a place he ever wants to be again. It’s hot, it’s dark, and the only thing keeping any of them from tripping over shit and falling on their faces is the dull glow of the muted florescent bulbs spaced widely throughout the area, which really doesn’t do much of anything at all. Yosuke is pretty sure he’s going to run into something and break his nose. How the hell do the drama club kids do this on a regular basis?

For as narrow of a space as it is there are also way too many people in it for Yosuke to feel comfortable. Not that he’s exactly relaxed anyway, what with the itchy sweater thing and the skirt and the people waiting to see him in the sweater thing and the skirt. There’re a handful of theatre kids off to the side, wandering to and fro upon occasion, doing whatever it is theatre kids do behind the scenes. There’s also someone that looks like they might be a teacher over near the entrance (Yosuke admittedly didn’t look too hard), probably acting as some kind of half-assed supervisor.

Chie, Yukiko, and Rise were back here, too, some time ago, but Yosuke hasn’t seen them for a little while, so he thinks they may have gone off to do girl things or help set up. Either way, Yosuke is kind of glad they aren’t around right now. He thinks he might have also seen Naoto earlier for a scant few minutes, hovering near where a duffle bag now rests by the wall. They’d disappeared pretty quickly, though, so it could very well have been someone else.

And then of course there are the poor bastards about to be paraded out on stage for the rest of the school to gawk at. Yosuke sighs. He really hates everything right now; he’s stuffed into the most humiliating outfit he’s ever worn and the smells of the hair spray and fruity, nasty lipgloss Chie slathered all over his mouth are combining in his nose to give him the headache of the century. He feels sticky, jittery, and uncomfortable in not only every way physically possible, but also mentally. Fuck.

Off to the side, Kanji doesn’t look like he’s doing a whole hell of a lot better. Sure, he keeps pulling at his dress, holding the lower half of it out in front of him to stare at, turning it this way and that apparently just to watch it move, but Kanji is also the son of a seamstress, so that just makes sense. The dress aside, however, Kanji’s wig is cheap and he is clearly too tall for his outfit – too much leg and too unsteady in the ungodly-high heels he’s been forced to wear. Yosuke actually feels just the tiniest bit worse for Kanji than he does for himself; at least Yosuke’s shoes are flat.

Teddie, the runt, has apparently run off to parts unknown, spouting some excuse about keeping his look a “surprise.” Damn bear, Yosuke thinks. Teddie isn’t even a student here, there’s no punishment waiting for him should he decide to bail on them and he knows it. The only reason he’d even been signed up in the first place was because Teddie had begged and pleaded and whined until Yosuke finally put his name on the list with the rest of them. (The girls evidently did think about it but since the teachers wouldn’t even know who Teddie was, they’d figured it was impossible to make it stick if they did.)

But now the loud little mascot has vanished, leaving only the trio of Yosuke, Kanji, and Souji to face the proverbial guillotine.

Souji.

For what has to be the hundredth time in the last half hour, Yosuke glances over at where his partner stands silently in the darkest, farthest corner of the room.

Souji looks utterly lifeless. He stares at nothing, eyes dark and vacant in the crappy backstage lighting, standing stock-still and completely soundless. It’s almost like he’s not even there. Yosuke can’t blame him, really; he himself would be gone in a heartbeat if he thought he could manage to pull it off. Sadly, he hasn’t yet mastered whatever technique it is that has Souji so focused all the time – like, all the time – so Yosuke has no mental tricks of his own to help him escape his current situation.

Still though, the more Yosuke looks at him (and Yosuke has been catching himself looking a lot during these past 30 minutes,) the more he seems to notice about his best friend. He notices the way Souji’s long silver wig frames his face and makes it softer, more regal, (though Souji has always had a kind of imperial look to his features.) He notices how Souji seems to almost glow in the dim yellow light – washed out, wraith-like, monochromatic. He notices the way the deep charcoal of Souji’s uniform makes every tiny bit of visible skin stand out sharply in contrast.

He notices how it makes Souji looks like some kind of wandering apparition, moon-kissed and ethereal.

Yosuke looks away, shaking his head until he makes himself dizzy.

It’s not fair; Souji is already one of the best looking guys in Inaba. Yosuke knows it, can admit it now, because there really isn’t any way he couldn’t, what with the sheer number of admirers his partner has amassed, which also isn’t fair. To be forced to admit that Souji also makes one of the best looking girls Yosuke has ever seen is just downright cruel.

He’s gorgeous.

Yosuke shakes himself again and focuses on the way it makes his headache throb so he doesn’t have to wonder why his stomach is swooping like he’s in free-fall.

It’s so un-fucking-fair.

Everything just fits Souji better, too, seems to sit on his body like it was made to compliment him. The outfit, the wig, the swipe of color across his lips, it all looks almost uncannily natural on him in a way that Yosuke just can’t figure out. For a moment, if Yosuke didn’t know any better, he could almost imagine that the person in front of him is actually a girl.

And ohhh fuck, what a damn good looking girl he makes, too – the exact kind of girl Yosuke would be tripping over himself to hit on, and Yosuke curses his own damn brain for the confusion crackling through him right now. His hormones keep niggling at him, poking him, reminding him that he’s a teenaged boy and that he finds girls attractive, that he’s been sexually frustrated his entire high school life. Girlfriend? they whisper.

No! he hastily tries to correct them. Souji! Partner! BOY!!

Souji is a boy and his best friend and Yosuke shouldn’t be starting at him like he used to (used to? Past-tense?) stare at Rise and Yukiko and every other girl he ever thought was hot. He shouldn’t keep having to remind his breathing not to quicken or his face not to burn and what is happening here?

He bows his back and hunches over, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes until little sparks of light start to form behind his eyelids. He groans.

The thing is, Souji isn’t even doing anything, just keeping to himself like a mannequin in a shop window. It’s almost creepy.

Actually, it’s… kind of concerning. Souji is a pretty quiet person in general, yeah, but usually he’s not this quiet, this still, this detached. Yosuke peeks out between his fingers and back over at his best friend, wondering suddenly if maybe something is wrong. Well, more wrong that everything already is.

Souji hasn’t moved so much as an inch since Yosuke looked at him last; his prop bokken is still slung over his shoulder like his katana in the TV world, his fingers clutching it so tightly they’re turning white beneath the shitty lamps. The only sign of life is the way he blinks every few seconds – something his body does without him telling it to, like breathing or pumping blood. If Souji is in there he’s somewhere very, very far away.

Yosuke wonders if he should go over there and check on him. He’d been so preoccupied feeling sorry for himself in his damn miniskirt that it hadn’t really occurred to him before now that his partner seems…

Yosuke glances at Kanji. His kohai is frowning down at the hunk of dress he’s got pinched between his fingers, apparently scrutinizing the quality of the fabric. He doesn’t look happy about cross-dressing, but he also doesn’t look like he’s left his body and faded into nothingness. Kanji looks similar to how Yosuke feels, pissed and uncomfortable with a “can we please get this over with?” kind of vibe around the set of his mouth. Souji, on the other hand, is a soulless doll.

Standing back up from his crouch, Yosuke allows himself to look over at Souji once more, this time staring deliberately to see if he can pick out anything that might give him a clue as to whether he should be worried or not. He flicks his eyes across Souji’s expressionless face, looks to the bone-colored fingers around the bokken, watches the (convincing) swell of Souji’s chest to make sure it still rises and falls with breath the way it should. His gaze drops then, to the gentle curve at Souji’s waist, accentuated by the cut of his uniform top. It travels downwards, past his partner’s hips, which seem fuller now, more prominent, thanks to how the waistband of the skirt cinches right above the jut of his hipbones. They look perfect, like they would be just the right shape to fit in Yosuke’s hands, just the right place to rest his palms, to gently pull and bring the two of them closer together until they were pressed hip to hip…

Yosuke’s mouth goes dry.

He whips his head back around like he’s been stung, heart suddenly pounding inside his chest so hard it nearly knocks him over. Guilt and something hot, tight, tingling settles low in his gut, mixing together into a wave of breathlessness that leaves him feeling like he’s just been caught doing something wrong.

What the hell, what the hell, what the hell?!

This is Souji – he’d just been ogling Souji, had just been fantasizing about putting his hands on Souji. His best friend in the whole world, his partner. Yosuke sucks in air through his nose and tries to regulate his breathing, wiping his suddenly clammy hands down the sides of his skirt.

It has to be a fluke; they’re all dressed like girls and Yosuke has never so much as kissed a girl and his libido is confused because Souji’s costume looks way too real and oh my GOD. This is so stupid, he’s going to throttle whomever picked out their outfits.

“Hey uh, Yosuke-senpai? You don’t look so good.”

Yosuke is broken out of his thoughts with a sharp exhale. Looking over, he sees Kanji watching him with a curious expression, one thinned-down eyebrow quirked high. It takes Yosuke a second to react, to run Kanji’s words through his mind and actually understand them. Eventually though, he nods.

“Y-yeah,” he squeaks. He swallows against the dryness seeping down his throat, runs his tongue across his lips to wet them. “Yeah, I’m not really feelin’ too great right now.” He tries to give his kohai a weak laugh but it comes out instead as a wheeze. Kanji’s other brow goes up to join the first. Yosuke clears his throat and looks away. “It’s nothing, it’s just nerves.”

Kanji makes a sound of agreement. “I feel ya, Senpai, the waitin’s the worst. I kinda wish they’d just get started already.”

Yosuke tilts his head back and groans. “Or never start at all,” he says. “Just cancel it, let us go home. That’d be even better.” He lolls his head over – grimacing at the way the damn strawberry hair clip tugs at his scalp – just in time to see Kanji running the hem of his dress through his fingers again, a slight frown on his face.

“It’d almost be a waste’a time at this point, wouldn’t it?” Kanji asks, still staring at the white fabric in his hands. “Think they’d miss this?”

Confused, (but hey, textile shop, so whatever,) Yosuke is about to open his mouth and form a reply when suddenly there is the crackle of a microphone overhead, the speakers up above them humming to life. The lights backstage seem to dim even further until everything around them becomes nothing more than fuzzy outlines and indiscernible shapes. Great.

A voice Yosuke doesn’t recognize comes over the line, calling out a final sound check. There are more words, something that sounds like a greeting, but Yosuke doesn’t pay them any attention; he’s too busy suppressing the urge to flee and never look back. He springs upright, body locked into a stance of pure dread by his live-wire nerves. Beside him, in what remains of the light, he can see Kanji making a face that can only be summed up as, ‘oh for fuck’s sake’. Yosuke doesn’t think he’s ever felt a bigger connection to his teammate than in this one excruciating moment.

The announcer says more words through the speakers and Yosuke can feel himself start to vibrate with nervous energy. Yeah, he thinks, it would have been so much better if they had just canceled the whole damn thing. He’s so jittery, so absolutely fucking nervous, that he almost doesn’t notice someone stepping up beside him. Granted, the lights backstage are almost completely off right now, and the person that just apparently blinks into existence next to him is wearing really dark colors, but it still takes longer than it probably should for Yosuke to realize he now has someone on his left.

He startles when he does notice, though, and nearly jumps sideways into Kanji before he manages to stop himself. He’s got a pretty good handle on controlling the way his body moves by now – at least, he’d like to think he does – thanks to all the time spent fighting and training inside the TV. It’s kept him safe, kept him from doing stupid shit like knocking over his kohai, and it’s also what prevents him from instinctively slashing out at the figure beside him with a kunai that isn’t there.

It still takes him a stupid amount of time to recognize the shape of Souji standing beside him in the darkness.

“Shit, Partner,” he breathes, feeling his heart hammering away inside his ribs. “You scared the hell out of me.”

Souji doesn’t respond.

Yosuke fixes his center of gravity and leans in a little closer to his friend. ”Partner?” he calls, squinting against the lack of light. “Earth to Souji?” He reaches out a hand and waves it by Souji’s face.

No reaction.

That is… concerning. Yosuke gnaws at a part of his lower lip, teeth scraping the sticky, sickly-sweet lipgloss into his mouth where he winces at the taste. It doesn’t matter though; his friend is quite clearly not himself and with a limited amount of time and no privacy, Yosuke isn’t sure what to do here. Souji has never seemed to need anything from him before, always being the one to listen and help and console, but right now Yosuke’s partner is a million miles away and, not for the first time, Yosuke wishes he could be the helping friend for a change. Souji has always been there for him, even when he didn’t have to be; the least Yosuke could do in return is make sure his best friend isn’t silently having a stroke.

He just… doesn’t really know what he’s doing. Having real friends is hard.

Yosuke glances around, making sure there’s no one watching them (Kanji doesn’t count, he’s part of the team), before taking a hesitant step into Souji’s space and leaning in to try and see his face through the gloom. His partner stares straight ahead, eyes so dark in the low light that it almost looks like they aren’t there at all. Lifeless pools of empty blackness, holes in a featureless mask.

“Dude,” Yosuke whispers, growing more and more on-edge as the seconds pass and Souji still doesn’t return from wherever he is. “Partner, come on, you’re creeping me out here.”

Cacophony. The din of the audience comes two-fold back to them, both from the crowd itself and also its echo through the speakers. It grates at Yosuke’s ears. He grimaces, turning his attention away from his friend for just a few seconds to focus back in on what’s happening. Over on his right, Kanji makes an unhappy sound and clacks his way over to the curtain. In the marginally better lighter filtering in from the stage, Yosuke sees Kanji take a deep breath, square his shoulders, and stomp out into the sea of noise and people. Yosuke feels his stomach drop out.

There is a soft inhale from beside him. It sounds wet, like a gasp that nearly became a choke, quiet and unsteady. Yosuke turns towards it just in time to see Souji blinking like he’s just woken up from a particularly bad dream. Souji inhales again, just a shallow, just as shaky, and for a moment, in the dark, Yosuke thinks his partner might be trembling.

The MC is talking again, gearing up to call the next one of them out, and Yosuke knows that no matter which of them is called he only has a few more seconds to try and help his friend.

But he doesn’t know what to do. His options are severely limited due to space and dark and their rapidly dwindling time. All he can think of as the announcer calls his name over the speakers is to shoot his partner a worried look he isn’t sure Souji can even see. “Bro, Souji, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Souji whispers, and Yosuke doesn’t have time to decide if he believes him or not before someone – probably a drama kid – comes up behind him and practically shoves him out onto the stage.

  Souji disappears the moment the pageant is over and the four of them are released from their torment.

Well, three, technically, since Teddie still looks like he’s having the time of his life.

Yosuke tries to spot his partner backstage, to check on how he’s doing, but Souji must have something with Garudyne equipped because Yosuke swears he doesn’t even get a chance to blink before Souji is straight up gone. Their leader breezes from the stage wings, over to the wall, pulling off his wig as he goes and tossing it to a startled techie off to the side. In one seamless motion, Souji scoops up the duffle bag that maybe-Naoto left there earlier and strides out into the back hallway. Yosuke is left to weakly call out after him to no avail, all the while unable to follow because an exuberant Teddie decides right at that moment to bodily fling himself at Yosuke and latch on like a limpet. Yosuke contemplates prying the shoujo-anime-reject off him and tracking his partner down, but with as fast as Souji was walking, Yosuke knows it’s likely a lost cause at this point. He doesn’t feel like scouring the entire school.

Besides, he tells himself only barely convincingly, Souji must be fine now if he’s actually moving again. He’d been… better? possibly? while on stage – at least when Yosuke got a chance to sneak a look at him in between the humiliation and the public speaking. Souji had said his lines when his turn with the microphone came up and swung the bokken down like it was an extension of his arm, as fierce and fluid as he was with his sword. But… it had been… off, somehow. Just a little. Enough that Yosuke, who was so used to watching Souji, so used to studying him (out of awe and envy and very minor idolization, but hell if Yosuke would ever say that out loud,) had managed to pick up on it in the handful of seconds he’d had to work with.

Souji had moved with practiced ease – something Yosuke is sure took no real mental effort to accomplish. His words had been low, monotone, spoken like a robot, and as much as Yosuke is certain a lot of that is just how his partner is, he also hadn’t been able to stop his mind from conjuring up the image of a string-controlled puppet. An automated marionette with a database full of preprogrammed responses, picture-perfect in its humanity but cold and empty behind the eyes.

Yosuke shivers at the memory.

With no way of knowing just where Souji has run off to and with his costume starting to get more than a little claustrophobic, Yosuke finally just extracts himself from Teddie’s grip and starts off for the dressing rooms. He’ll go back, change his clothes, get the fucking makeup off his face, and wait until Souji decides he’s ready to rejoin them. Who knows? Maybe he’ll be fine after putting his normal clothes back on and Yosuke won’t even have to worry anymore.

Yeah, he thinks as he gathers up his (boy’s) uniform and starts tugging the hair tie from his head. His partner is probably fine, just eager to put the whole traumatizing pageant behind him like Yosuke is.

He lets the thought settle while he starts to change, repeating it over and over again to himself until he actually starts to believe it.

Everything’s fine.

  Everything is not fine.

Yosuke stares down at his phone screen, his brows furrowing so hard that it’s starting to hurt.

0 unread messages, it reads. Fuck.

He sighs heavily, the sound quickly turning into something long and drawn out, gravelly in the back of his throat. He rolls over onto his back on the bed and brings his hands up to cover his eyes, the phone face down and discarded on his chest. Souji hasn’t texted him back yet.

His partner had reappeared somewhere between the first time Yosuke had gone back to the classroom (after he finished changing), and the second time (after he’d been told by Rise that none of the girls had anything to take the makeup off with and he’d had to run back to the theatre students and ask them.) When Yosuke had finally made it back – albeit empty handed – he’d found Souji seated in one of the desks shoved up against the wall by the door, looking blotchy and drained.

He’d wanted to talk to Souji then, since at the time it had looked like his friend was mostly back to normal despite the clear exhaustion. In his exuberance over Souji magically producing a pack of makeup wipes from his bag, however, Yosuke had evidently lost his only remaining chance, as by the time he and Kanji were making their way back to the room (again), Souji had been leaving.

Well, no, that wasn’t quite right; Souji had been running. He’d come tearing out of the classroom as Yosuke and Kanji were coming up the hallway, hugging the doorframe as he exited and nearly slamming into the wall beside the door. Yosuke had nearly shouted in surprise, battle-born instinct kicking in and immediately trying to check for damage he’d been too far away to actually see. But before either he or Kanji could properly react beyond that, Souji had pushed off the wall and gone sprinting towards them, past them, away from them and down the hall to the stairwell, moving like the Reaper was two steps behind.

Yosuke slides his hands up into his hair and tugs until it stings. The sensation is sharp, grounding, it puts him back in the present, back in his bedroom at home with the sound of Teddie downstairs, pestering Yosuke’s mom to let him help with dinner. It keeps him from thinking about how absolutely shattered his partner’s expression had been for the brief second Yosuke had been able to see it as Souji dashed past. Brow furrowed as if in pain, eyes bright and frantic like dying stars, with deep-set lines around them, tight with tension. Yosuke didn’t even know Souji was capable of making that face.

He doesn’t like that Souji is.

It’s unsettling, first of all, to see their normally unshakable leader so visibly distressed. Souji is stoic at the best of times, even outside of combat, with expressions that don’t seem to change much but can make you warm and fluttery or pin you in place when they do. He’s like one of those optical illusion puzzles – twist one line around his mouth, make one minute shift in detail, and Souji goes from soft and kind to stone and fury. It’s what makes him the perfect Commander in the TV world, the best kind of Best Friend outside it, and to see him so drastically different leaves Yosuke reeling.

But on a more personal level, looking past just the obvious physical change, it’s terrifying. For something to have messed with Souji so badly as to warp his carefully controlled expression into that…

Yosuke feels the curling self-doubt start to take root in his mind. Something had clearly been bothering Souji for most of the day, and Yosuke – who is supposed to be Souji’s friend, his equal, his partner – wasn’t able to do anything about it. He’d missed his chance, taken too long to act, and whatever Souji had been dealing with had escalated to the point of boiling over, leaving Yosuke to gawk stupidly while the best friend he’d ever had tore through the stairwell door like he was dying.

Yosuke is faced with two very heavy realizations because of this. First, that Souji is, in fact, shakable. And second, that Yosuke was genuinely stunned to learn this first fact, which implies a lot about his mindset that Yosuke doesn’t like. Maybe he’s just as guilty as the rest of the town about putting Souji up on a pedestal. He thought he wasn’t; he doesn’t like knowing he might have been wrong.

He lets out another sigh and stares up at his ceiling. He feels so useless right now; his friend was hurting, might still be hurting, and no one knows where Souji is or what happened to make him bolt. Yosuke checks his phone again. Still nothing.

GOD!

With a noise of frustration, Yosuke heaves himself upright and tosses his phone to the end of the bed. He hates this so much! To be stuck here not able to do anything or even know where to begin – if only Souji would answer him, answer somebody! Yosuke keeps checking with the others, every thirty minutes or so, and he’d forced himself to wait that long, even, as he figured no one would like him much if he just kept badgering them. Not that checking every five seconds would change anything. Besides, he has to keep reminding himself to trust his friends, to trust that they’ll spread the news as soon as someone hears from him, gets word, spots him, anything.

(The thought that Souji might contact one of the others first leaves an odd sort of clenching feeling in Yosuke’s chest that he doesn’t really want to think about right now.)

I should have gone after him.

For the millionth time that evening, Yosuke mentally kicks himself for all the things he should have done differently – knowing full well the hindsight won’t help, but being unable to do anything productive leaves him with nothing else. He should have run after Souji when his partner had sped by him, should have followed, should have tried to catch him. Instead, Yosuke had stared after him in shock, only spurring his feet to move long after Souji had vanished through the stairwell door. By the time Yosuke had finally reacted, Souji had seemingly evaporated, leaving behind only a visibly rattled Naoto near the middle of the stairs.

“I-I don’t know where he went.” Naoto had said when Yosuke had frantically asked if they’d seen his partner. They’d been trembling, just slightly, bracing their weight on the stair rail with one arm and holding themself with the other, tight and close like they could hold in the minute tremors if they squeezed hard enough.

Yosuke doesn’t think he’s seen them that distressed since they’d faced their own shadow. For both Souji and Naoto to be so freaked at the same time is nearly incomprehensible to Yosuke. It scares him.

There had been almost no time to search after all of that, either, only about fifteen precious minutes to run through the halls in a vain attempt at spotting the familiar silver of Souji’s hair before the girls (and Naoto) were called away to get ready for their own pageant hell. Kanji and Naoto had split up to help him search before Naoto had had to leave them; Yosuke hadn’t wanted to frighten the others. Instead, he’d stamped down his jitters as best he could and asked them if they knew where Souji had gone, had they seen him, had he come back to the room at all? All anyone had known was that Souji had apparently stood up, very quickly, mumbled an “excuse me”, and strode from the room like the rapids in a river, gathering speed as he went until he’d swung himself around the doorframe without so much as pausing. Polite to the end, even while moments away from slamming into a wall and taking off down the hallway like a shot.

They’d all been worried, obviously, especially Teddie, who’d apparently been clinging to him at the time, but it was only after the second pageant was over that the concern about Souji’s absence and failure to return really started to show on everyone’s faces. They’d all talked, voices hushed and heads together like they were plotting back at the Junes food court, about going to search for their leader, their friend, but the rooms had to be cleaned up, the last of the decorations packed away, and by the time they could all leave the sun had begun to set.

Which left Yosuke back at the present point, hands empty and head too full.

He wondered if he could possibly sneak out, go check the Dojima residence before his parents even knew—but no. No, it would take too long and Teddie would notice first and whine and tell Yosuke’s mom, and even if Yosuke managed to get there what would he do if Souji wasn’t at home? He’d risk scaring Nanako, risk running into Dojima-san. The whole thing would have the potential to go so horribly, horribly sideways and blow up into something messy and tangled. He doesn’t want to get Souji in trouble, doesn’t want to frighten Nanako, doesn’t want to get grounded for sneaking out when he’s supposed to be home because his mom wants to have a rare family dinner together while no one is on shift.

Sending a silent ‘pleasepleaseplease’ to anyone, anything that might be listening, Yosuke fishes his phone back out from the covers at the foot of his bed and checks the screen.

0 unread messages.

Yosuke thinks he might be going insane.

Opening his contact list, Yosuke pulls up Souji’s number at stares at it. He’s called so many times, left so many messages – each one left unanswered, unread. It would be one thing if Souji were seeing them and just not responding. (It would be a bad, hurtful, worrying thing, but one thing on its own.) It’s a completely different thing for Souji to not be reading them at all.

Maybe he lost his phone or it ran out of battery, maybe he’ll call back after it’s finished charging. Or maybe something happened and Souji’s lying unconscious in an alley somewhere, unable to move let alone check his texts.

Yosuke shakes himself. No, he can’t think that. He’s not ready to think about that, despite how much his mounting anxiety might want him to. He needs to trust Souji, have faith that Souji will be alright, that he can handle himself like he does in the TV if anything happens. But Souji is human, just like the rest of them, and no amount of power, no army of personae will help outside in the real world. Car accidents can happen, kidnappings can happen – do happen, were happening – and all of it possible without a warning or chance to fight back.

He’s already hit the call button by the time he breaks that chain of thought.

The line rings and rings and rings, the sound like a failing heartbeat in Yosuke’s ear. There is a click, a pause, a familiar robotic voice telling him he’s reached the voicemail box of “Seta Souij” and to leave a message after the tone.

Yosuke’s stomach drops. He didn’t think it could get any lower.

“Partner, hey,” he says into the phone, not even bothering to keep the waver from his voice. He’d done so well the first couple of times; he’s stretched too thinly to do it now. “It’s me. Again….” Something wet trickles down his cheek; he makes no move to wipe it away. This is dumb, he’s being dumb, but he doesn’t know what to do right now. Souji has always been the stronger one, the Leader, the rock that holds everything in place when shit keeps going wrong. For all Yosuke tries to match him stride for stride, he knows, in the dark, dusty place where he keeps the rest of his insecurities, that he’s too different from Souji to ever be like him.

He can’t find Souji, can’t get hold of him, can’t help him, and it’s a blow that Yosuke isn’t sure he can recover from any time soon. Souji would know what to do but that’s the problem: Souji isn’t here. Yosuke is left to try and navigate this foreign situation all on his own. He’s used to being second-in-command, even if he’s never really needed to play the “command” role; taking over as default leader while Souji is missing isn’t something Yosuke was ready to do. Even if there’s no longer an investigation to head, even if his partner’s disappearance wasn’t a kidnapping (he hopes), if Souji doesn’t show up soon it will fall on Yosuke’s shoulders to lead the team to find him. Especially if it turns out Souji is nowhere to be found outside the TV.

He chides himself for being so utterly unprepared.

Yosuke licks at his lower lip, sucking it between his teeth to chew at for a second as he thinks of something else to say that he hasn’t already said before. “Listen… it’s been hours. Where are you?” He pauses, sucks in a watery breath. “I’m really freaked right now, okay? I swear to god, if you just forgot to turn your phone on or something…” His voice catches as a tide of something hot and suffocating washes over him, up his chest, his throat, into the back of his mouth where it chokes him and traps his words behind his teeth He pauses again to swallow it down. “Souji, please. Please call me back, let me know you’re okay. You’re my best fucking friend, let me help—“

“Your message could not be recorded because this mailbox is now full. Please try your call again later.”

With a desperate, angry growl, Yosuke yanks his phone away from his ear and throws it viciously down against the mattress. It bounces off the comforter, falling and landing with a muted ‘thunk’ somewhere out of sight in the dark below the bed. He doesn’t go looking for it; he just lets it lay wherever it’s fallen and turns to bury his face in his pillow, fighting back the molten surge of tears until Teddie’s voice shouts up at him that it’s time for dinner.

He barely says a thing the rest of the night.

 ---

 Yosuke sleeps poorly, waking with a knotted stomach and a tight feeling gripping at the inside of his skull.

The house is quiet, eerily so, and in his blearily state it takes Yosuke a few groggy minutes to piece together the reason why. Teddie is still asleep; Yosuke can hear the bear’s thin, wheezy snoring from inside his closet, which is strange because usually Teddie is a bundle of energy from the moment Yosuke’s alarm goes off. Half the time, Teddie acts as his second alarm after Yosuke tries hitting the snooze for the third time in a row, jumping onto Yosuke’s bed and tackling him in a “good morning hug.” Today, though, it seems that Yosuke has woken up well before his alarm is set to wake him. He doesn’t really know how that’s possible, considering he hadn’t managed to fall asleep until well after midnight, but somehow he’s awake before the rest of the household (provided his parents haven’t already gone in to work), and he doesn’t think he could get back to sleep even if he tried.

There are no new messages on his phone. Yosuke already hates today.

Still half in a daze, he turns off his alarm and makes his way quietly around the room to gather up the pieces of his uniform. He changes in the bathroom where he can see and the light won’t reach the slumbering bear back in his room. Were it another day he would wake Teddie up or just leave the alarm set for him, but Yosuke is painfully aware that Teddie has the after-school shift with him tonight and doesn’t even need to be awake until later in the afternoon.

He wanders downstairs and halfheartedly makes the quickest, most basic breakfast he can possibly make – which honestly isn’t any different than any other breakfast he makes for himself. There’s a little bit of the leftovers from last night’s dinner still tucked away in the fridge, but he leaves it be. Yosuke may know next to nothing about cooking but Teddie knows even less, and while he’d never admit it aloud, Yosuke is not so annoyed with Teddie’s existence that he wants the poor guy to go hungry. He also knows that Teddie gets lonely without him around and likely won’t be happy that Yosuke didn’t wake him up to say goodbye before leaving. He’s already prepared for the pouty earful the bear will have in store for him at work, but for the moment, Yosuke is willing to settle for an egg and toast for himself in order to leave his pseudo-brother with an edible peace offering. Maybe he’ll give Ted a call at lunch to make him feel better. (If only to save himself from being clung to by a living carnival prize later on.)

He sits at the counter and stares at his phone while he eats without tasting. No new messages. He dumps the uneaten half of his toast into the trash.

Time passes at a crawl, and while Yosuke is too frazzled to try and nap on the couch until he needs to leave, he also can’t seem to wake up any further. The exhaustion from yesterday still sticks to him, weighs him down like a thick blanket of dread. The feeling of uselessness, of not knowing what to do with himself or how to help still sits deep within his bones. The longer he stays idle, the more anxious his mind grows, despite the way his eyes itch like he hasn’t slept in a month. The runny egg and half slice of burnt bread sit weirdly in his stomach.

He’s debating on whether he wants to just leave a little early and possibly stake out Souji’s house – because hey, might as well – when his phone finally, finally buzzes. Yosuke nearly drops it in his haste to get it out of his pocket, catching his fingernail on the seam of his jeans and bending it far enough to make it sting. All the while the phone continues to buzz, vibrating every couple of seconds as each new notification comes through. It takes him a minute, but he manages to extract the device from his pocket, ignoring the way his finger is throbbing.

He doesn’t even bother checking the notifications flashing up at him from the screen, he just goes straight to his messages and desperately hopes that at least one of them is from Souji.

None of them are.

Instead, there are a handful of texts from Naoto, all sent to the entire Investigation Team like the big-ass group chat they never got around to making.

 Detc Prince: JUST SPOKE 2 SOUJI-SENPAI

Dect Prince: HE IS SAFE AT HOME & HAS BEEN THERE SINCE LAST NIGHT

Detc Prince: EVIDENTLY HE PASSED OUT & SLEPT 12 HOURS. JUST NOW WOKE UP.

Detc Prince: HE SAYS HE IS SORRY 4 SCARING US. HE ALSO WONT B AT SCHOOL 2DAY

Detc Prince: VIOLENTLY ILL YESTERDAY BUT BETTER NOW. LEFT AFTER GETTING SICK

 Yosuke stares down at his phone in confusion.

No, that’s… wrong.

He stands dumbly in the kitchen, in the quiet, morning-dark house, with his phone in his hands and a furrowed brow and tries to piece together this story with his own from the day before. He’s foggy-headed still, sleepy and jacked all at the same time, but even if he were wide-awake he knows that something would be off.

Souji had been running down the hall like he was terrified. He’d blown past Yosuke and Kanji with the speed of someone deeply afraid (which Yosuke recognizes from their first few adventures into the TV world, back when everything was still new to them all), not of someone about to throw up. His partner had rocketed away from him almost too quickly to catch his expression, but Yosuke knows how to look at Souji, knows how to check for tells, how to read his commander, his best friend, and pick up on Souji’s signals. It’s how they fight side-by-side in the dungeons, when Yosuke has his headphones blaring and their soft-spoken leader needs to guide them all through battle. Yosuke knows Souji – and those weren’t the eyes of “let me by, I have to hurl.”

Souji’s eyes had been wide and frightened, laced with sorrow and the same kind of desperate mania that so many of their friends had worn as they faced down their shadows.

Yosuke feels the breakfast in his stomach turn over on itself. He doesn’t like this. Yosuke had watched Souji disappear through the door to the stairs, not towards the bathroom like anyone feeling nauseas would do, so unless Souji had been heading for another floor to go throw up then he would have had to have gotten sick before even coming back to the classroom. Which would mean his sprint down the hall was something else entirely. Not only that, but Yosuke knows for a fact that Souji passed Naoto on the stairs, which meant he’d been heading downward and well away from any of the closest or even second closest toilets. If he’d left right after he’d thrown up, then Souji should have either not been running like Chie had offered to make lunch and instead been dragging himself out the door, or he should have been running to a bathroom and then leaving.

Nothing in the time frame adds up, and the resulting implications leave Yosuke floundering. His head goes around and around in circles, wanting to believe Naoto’s texts that Souji is okay, that he just got really, really sick and had to go home. But Yosuke has spent literal months now learning to think critically, to look at inconsistencies and pick them apart, and while he’s no Naoto when it comes to mysteries he would like to think he could spot when something is clearly not right when it comes to his best friend.

He’s aware that Naoto could have just given them the absolute minimum information and that there is a longer explanation waiting for them all when they get to school. However, Naoto had been just as visibly rattled as Yosuke had felt when he’d found them in the stairwell, which is hard for Yosuke to explain away with his current lack of insight. The fact that they’d had no clue where Souji had gone, and had even helped Yosuke look for him leaves another gap in their short span of time where everything could have happened.

He doesn’t want to think that Naoto is lying. He absolutely doesn’t want to think that Souji is.

But there’s nothing Yosuke can do without more information, and he isn’t going to get that just standing around. Gritting his teeth, he stamps down on the rising tide of dark thoughts and nebulous feelings. He doesn’t want to face any of it, doesn’t want to think about what some of his theories might imply. He also doesn’t want to look too deeply at his own reactions to this, because it means he’s either wildly overacting or that something is genuinely amiss. A lapse back into his old clingy, annoying, friendless self, or his best friend potentially being hurt or hiding something. Neither option is comforting.

The clock above the counter tells him he needs to leave now to get to school without a rush. He stuffs the phone back into his pocket and grabs his bag and forcibly tries to keep his mind from reaching further and further into the place where his anxiety dwells. His thoughts are carefully blank as he shuffles his way over to the door and opens it on the dull light of the morning sky. He blinks against the brightness, standing still in the entryway for a moment until he can make his vision settle and his nervous pulse subside.

Outside his house is like a different world; the broken dawn is pink and burnt gold and it casts everything in its wake in a weirdly yellow glow. There are birds somewhere in the distance, chirping sporadically like they, too, have no idea how to be awake at this hour. It’s a stark contract to the quiet, sleepy dark back inside Yosuke’s kitchen.

As he finally works up the will to start his trek, Yosuke takes a second to glance at his reflection in the mirror his mother had insisted on hanging in the entryway when they’d moved in, to “make sure everyone looks their best before facing the day”. What stares back at him is a pale, jittery-looking version of himself, with deep blue circles beneath his eyes and hair that clearly hasn’t seen a comb in far too long. He grimaces at how wan he looks, at the exhaustion etched into his skin along with the worry lines now marring his forehead.

He leaves the house quickly, not wanting to look at himself anymore or give his brain a long enough pause to start thinking again. As he closes the door behind him he tells himself that the shiver he got from his reflection’s sightless stare is just the lack of sleep, and that it was only the light from the sun along the horizon that tinted the world and made his eyes look a sickly shade of gold.

  Naoto does not, in fact, give them any new information once everyone is gathered at school. Yosuke talks to Yukiko and Chie for a minute or so before classes start to see if they know or have heard anything he might have missed. They don’t, and after Chie tells him he looks like shit (to which he only gives a half-hearted retort because honestly, she’s right) they confirm that they didn’t get a chance to catch Naoto in person that morning, either.

The school day begins and Yosuke barely pays attention. He keeps glancing forlornly at Souji’s empty desk, sneaking peeks at his phone under his own. There are a few extra texts from the others in the group text, mostly reactionary exclamations, a flurry of sad emojis from Rise to go with her “Oh no! Poor Senpai!” but no one seems inclined to press Naoto for more details. He gets it to some degree; no one else but Kanji saw Souji’s escape down the hallway and only Naoto passed him on the stairs, so the only other person that might ask besides Yosuke would be Kanji, and Kanji didn’t seem to notice what Yosuke did. So no one asks.

Yosuke sends a mass text of his own, asking for everyone to meet up during lunch. He words it as well as he can, trying to hide behind the reasoning that they had all been worried about Souji and playing off the fact that Souji apparently hasn’t contacted anyone else so could Naoto fill them in on what all Souji said to them, please? Everyone agrees, though some take longer to respond than others due to classes and Naoto takes their time replying until they’re the last one to do so. Yosuke tries not to make anything of it.

He can’t tell if he succeeds.

Teddie messages him around late morning, sending Yosuke a string of whiny texts and a few teary emojis, just as Yosuke had predicted he would. Yosuke responds with a short “srry ted I was letting u sleep” and “leftovers r urs”, which earns him a few more pout emojis before Teddie evidently forgives him. It’s a minor distraction, but one that Yosuke is grateful for nonetheless. His interaction with Teddie feel normal, routine, like Yosuke’s entire world hasn’t been a total mess for the past 24 hours. He makes a mental note to buy the bear a box of his favorite topsicles – both as a way to cheer him up after waking to an empty house and also as a thank you so that Yosuke doesn’t have to do it out loud and get stuck explaining his mental state.

When lunch finally hits, Yosuke and Chie and Yukiko all head off to the roof together to meet up with the rest of the team – minus their leader and living plush-doll of a mascot. Naoto is already there by the time the rest of them arrive. They look tired; there is a thinness to their mouth, a glassiness to their eyes that speaks of a night spent just as sleepless as Yosuke. He remembers how scared they’d looked the day before after Souji had disappeared, the deep, quiet fear that had lit them from within and made Yosuke think of an animal cornered at night, eyeshine bright and unnerving.

Nothing about any of this makes sense.

Naoto greets them; they all settle in. It takes up a good chunk of the lunch period for Naoto to basically rehash everything they’d said via text: that Souji had suddenly gotten violently ill in between the pageants, that they suspected it might be either food poisoning or “an acute bout of nerves”, that Souji had run off to go get sick and then gone straight home. That Souji had passed out and slept until that morning right before school and had called Naoto back after they’d messaged him again. That Souji was feeling better but not 100% still.

And the whole time they’re telling the story, Yosuke bites at his lips and feels his frown growing deeper and deeper.

He still doesn’t like the way the timeline of events just doesn’t seem to match up in a way that doesn’t have holes, no matter how he tries to fit the pieces together. The larger picture is fine, sure, but it’s the little things, the snags in time, the long stretch of silence and sudden explanation. There are just too many of them and Yosuke collects them in his head one after another and moves them around trying to find a way to match them up. His head is starting to hurt by the time Naoto finishes.

Everyone goes around and offers their sentiments as if Souji is there to hear them. They talk about going over to check on him after school but Naoto seems to think it won’t be necessary.

“Souji-senpai is most likely resting,” Naoto says. “Too many people all at once without warning could be detrimental.” They awkwardly shift their weight, tugging on their cap the way they do when they want to hide their face but also don’t want to be perceived as weak for showing their nervousness. Yosuke notes how they don’t look directly at anyone when they continue speaking.

“However, seeing as Senpai is – or was – awake and aware this morning of our attempts to contact him, I would say we should message him if we do plan on visiting. I’m certain he would appreciate the heads up, especially if he still isn’t feeling well.”

Everybody voices their agreement (and in the case of Rise, their obviously crush-tinted disappointment,) and even Yosuke has to admit that Naoto makes a good point. It still sits oddly in his chest, though. He curses his work schedule; he would absolutely be visiting Souji at home after school if he didn’t have to go in for a long night of stocking shelves. No matter how good a point Naoto may have made, Souji is missing a day of classes and no one could begrudge Souji’s best friend for taking him some notes, right?

Yosuke sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose when no one is looking.

After that is a whole lot of nothing. There is eating, some more discussion, (mostly about Souji but still nothing relevant to Yosuke’s mess of questions) and a bunch of texts all sent out to wish Souji a speedy recovery. None of them receives a reply, but it’s also entirely possible that Souji is doing exactly as Naoto said and resting. Yosuke hopes so.

Sadly, and to his understandable irritation, he doesn’t get a chance to ask Naoto any of the more in-depth questions he’d wanted to ask before the end of lunch sneaks up on them. The group begins to split up then, with Naoto somehow being the first one through the door back inside, robbing Yosuke of what is probably his final chance of the day.

Truth be told, Yosuke knows it’s partially his own fault. Rather than just squaring up and asking what he wanted to, he’d been stalling, waiting for a turn in the conversation to give him the answers he’d wanted without actually asking. He admits it to himself – albeit begrudgingly – because he’s seen first hand what happens when he doesn’t, and acknowledges that he’s afraid. Afraid of being proven wrong and thus having overreacted like the clingy idiot he knows he’s capable of being. Or worse, being proven right and having to deal with the knowledge that either his teammate or his leader or both are keeping him in the dark. It would be a chain reaction at that point, one fear being affirmed leading to another one – one that Yosuke only lets himself think about when he absolutely has to, at his lowest and wide awake at 2:00am with his mind way too loud and full, to keep it from spawning another shadow.

Do I matter?

Chie kicks him gently (“gently”) in the butt to get him moving since he’s apparently just been standing there staring after Naoto. He lets her and Yukiko drag him back to the classroom and ignores the silent conversation that seems to pass between the two of them behind his back. He also ignores the strange way that Rise follows him with her eyes, a funny, down-turned expression settling on her features that he’s never seen before.

The day continues, the teachers drone, and Yosuke sits staring inconspicuously as possible down at his phone screen. A response to his previous slew of worried texts never comes, and no matter how he tries, Yosuke feels too many things too deeply and at once to be able to send any new ones just yet. He types and deletes what has to be a dozen aborted questions, shallow-seeming “get well soon”s, and by the time the day is over he’s still stuck at square one, eyes strained from staring at the glare of his screen for so long.

He trudges down to the shoe lockers, head still hurting, when the final bell sounds and resigns himself to waiting until after his shift to think of something to say to his partner that doesn’t sound stupid or needy or paranoid.

In the end his anxiety silences him completely, stilling his fingers and leaving the “how ru feelin prtnr? u comin 2 school 2mrrw?” hovering in the text bar on his screen unsent.

 ---

 “Yosuke…”

Warm hands, fingers ghosting over skin, over planes of muscle, dipping into the line where waist meets hips. Breath catching, stuttering in a flat, toned chest, a hot exhale against his cheek as blunted nails dig into his shoulders, holding him in place. The taste of salt, of skin beneath his tongue, fresh like rain and sharp like ozone. A pulse like distant thunder under his mouth. He presses forward, closer, tighter, shifts his knee to press it between shaking legs, holds them steady with his hands and feels the flex of thighs under his palms.

Hips grind against him. Lips catch at his, kissing, parting, giving him room to slide his tongue inside. He pulls back and nips at them, drawing the bottom one, plush and sweet, between his teeth before pressing back in and licking them apart.

Hands glide lower, inward, touching, teasing, tugging at fabric and pulling it open, down, fingertips running hot across a band of elastic before slipping inside. A trail of kisses across a sharp jaw. Teeth grazing skin, sucking, biting, leaving little marks of purple in their wake. A gasp, a groan, a throaty sound of need and pleasure as he laves his tongue back over the pulse point, sending vibrations through another chest and into his own. Heat beneath his fingers, a tightness deep below his hips.

"Yosuke please…”

He pushes his knee in further, scratches his nails along soft thighs, taut like velvet over steel. Hips roll to meet his hand; his palm meets warm flesh, brushes over it, presses the heel of his hand down to elicit another halted breath, another ragged whisper of his name. A body clinging to his own, hot and slick and trembling, fingers fisting in his hair, skin on skin on skin on skin, moving to a rhythm he sets, slow and wicked. He bites a collarbone and the arms around him tighten, the long line of a pale throat exposed as lips fall open in a moan and a head tilts back, hands pulling him closer, clutching, panting, shaking.

“Partner!”

 Yosuke sits bolt upright in bed, heart pounding against the inside of his ribs like it’s trying to break free.

For a moment he doesn’t know where he is; his bedroom is dark and unfamiliar in its witching-hour silence with only the quiet snoring from his closet to break it. The faint glow of his phone charging beside the bed becomes his grounding point and he stares at it until his mind clears enough to refocus on his surroundings. Alone. He’s alone, there’s no one in his bed but him. He’s in his room and he’s alone in his bed – no hips beneath his hands, no skin against his lips. No breathy voice in his ear whispering how good his touch feels, murmuring his name, spurring him on.

Oh god.

Yosuke shivers at the memory, at the phantom image of someone warm and solid arcing against him. Something aches low in his gut and he realizes with a burning face just how painfully hard he is. He feels it throbbing between his legs like a bruise and bites his lip to stamp down a desperate whine.

Alone, I’m alone, it was just a dream, I’m alone…

But Yosuke can still feel he pressure of another body against his own. He can still feel everything: the fingers in his hair, the legs around his hips, the stretch of an elastic waistband across the back of his wrist as if he’s delved his hand below someone’s boxers. He feels all of it. He can still taste another tongue when he swipes his across his lips, still tingling like he’s just been kissed, is still leaving hickies on his best friend’s throat—

Yosuke slaps a hand over his mouth to mask the heavy, raspy sound of his own too-thin breathing. It burns in his lungs, breaths too deep but air too dry and it feels like he isn’t getting any oxygen at all. Sweat beads along his hairline, at the nape of his neck, and when he parts his lips to try and breathe through his mouth he can taste the telltale salt of it across his clammy palm.

Souji. He’d just had a sex dream about Souji.

His best friend, his partner, their goddamn leader. Yosuke feels the rush of adrenaline as it washes through him in a wave, leaving his limbs cold and trembling like he’s just been dunked in ice water. The slow creep of panic itches at his nerves. He doesn’t know what to do; what is he supposed to do? How in the ever-loving fuck is he meant to process the fact that he’s just had the single most intense sex dream of his entire life and it was about another guy?

And not just any guy – he’s just had a sex dream about his best. Fucking. Friend.

There is a twitch and throb between his thighs and Yosuke thinks he might actually start crying.

He swallows, weak and useless against the dryness in his throat, and bites at his tongue until he tastes the coppery tang of his own blood. He’s dizzy. Dizzy and confused and scared to death and back, but…

But.

But he can’t ignore how hard he is. He can’t ignore that everything in his dream was amazing, that it left him aching and needy and wishing he could slow his speeding heart and go back to sleep, just so he could return to the feeling of dream-Souji pulling him closer as he came over Yosuke’s hand.

“…Fuck.”

The sound of his own voice – while barely a whisper – still startles Yosuke in the near-perfect quiet of the room. It’s high and desperate, absolutely wrecked like it hasn’t been since he faced his shadow. Expect this time it isn’t fear lacing the single word that’s slipped from his mouth. It’s desire.

Without really thinking, Yosuke throws off the covers as quietly as he can and disentangles himself from the bed. He stares at the closet door like a feral, frightened cat, watching for any sign that Teddie has heard him. When nothing happens, Yosuke moves.

He creeps over to the door, pausing only to grab a pair of underwear from the floor as he goes. He doesn’t even know if they’re clean, doesn’t even care; right now he just needs something to take with him that isn’t what he’s wearing right now. He can feel the sweat sinking in to his shirt, the waist of his sleep pants – which is bad enough – but worst of all is how he can feel the sticky-slick patch of precum starting to seep into his boxers.

On shaky legs, Yosuke makes his way out the door and down the hall towards the bathroom. He goes as silently as he can, taking care to avoid the spots in the floor that he knows are prone to creaking, reaching out to steady himself against the wall whenever his knees start to buckle. It’s slow going. His erection makes it hard to walk without hissing through his teeth, and with every passing second he can hear the way his heart hammers inside his chest – so loud he thinks that Teddie must have been deaf not to hear it.

He reaches the bathroom after what feels like eons, thankful it’s been left open so the tiny nightlight in the hall can lead sleep-foggy people to it in the middle of the night. (Or in this case, a jittery teenager.) He slides inside like he’s afraid someone will be waiting for him just past where the light reaches and shuts the door behind him with a muffled click, locking it the moment that it’s closed.

He passes by the mirror on his way to the shower and pointedly does not look.

Cranking the cold water up as high as it will go, not even touching the hot, Yosuke stares at the frigid cascade like it can possibly save him. Sometimes, when his dreams turn dirty with short skirts and breathy panting straight from the porn he keeps hidden in a special folder on his computer, Yosuke is able to will the resulting arousal away. He’s lucky – he hasn’t woken up to an unexpected mess in his boxers since before his family moved. He still gets hard in his sleep though, sometimes; usually he’s able to just think of the shadows in the TV world and roll over onto his stomach to flush the images from his mind. He wakes slightly irritable, but at least he’s able to sleep.

Tonight though, he knows there’s no hope. With all the slowness of a man facing his execution, Yosuke peels off the sweat-covered t-shirt and sweatpants, tossing them into the corner to retrieve later. He sets the second pair of underwear over to the side and gingerly begins the process of slipping off the ones he’s wearing.

It’s a nightmare. Each drag of fabric over his electrified skin is like torture, leaving him off-kilter and gritting his teeth against the over stimulation. He nearly falls over as he tries to maneuver them past his dick, which is still so abysmally hard that it’s a miracle he made it from his bedroom without passing out due to poor circulation. He stifles a pained noise as the chilly air outside his boxers hits his overheated flesh, clamping his lips together and biting down until it hurts. The cold water is going to suck.

He steps into the shower and immediately hates everything.

Fighting back another sound of dismay, Yosuke lets the icy stream pour over him, jolting him to full wakefulness and sending an instant, violent shiver through his entire body. He stands there with his arms crossed futilely over his chest, instinctively trying to hold in what little body heat he can, even as he wills the water to just freeze his burning blood and make it so he can go back to bed before his alarm goes off for school.

This sucks. Everything sucks. He’s awake at stupid-o-clock in the morning with a boner that won’t go away and the sound of his best friend’s moaning playing over and over again in his ears like a looping, skipping record. He hates the way it makes his stomach swoop like he’s flying, makes his skin prickle like he swell of lightning before it strikes; it scares him, he shouldn’t be feeling this. Instead of desperate and turned on, secretly wishing the dream had been longer, he should be sick, put off, angry. He should be disgusted about the way the dream has made his heart race and his fingers itch to touch, to feel, the way he keeps licking at his lower lip as if hoping the taste of Souji’s kiss still lingers in the waking world. But he’s not. The only disgust he feels is at himself and the way he cannot lie away the fact that he liked it. He’s more afraid of how wrong it didn’t feel than by how right it did.

Yosuke shakes his head and fists a hand through his wet hair, trying to pull the feel of Souji from his memory.

Minutes pass and his arousal doesn’t flag. The cold digs into his skin like needles, numbing everything it touches and leaving him shuddering in the absence of warmth. The contrast of the chill against the heat of his body is almost painful – like a gust of winter wind over a feverish throat – and even the numbness the water brings isn’t enough to completely drown out the feeling. Yet still his erection persists.

With a groan of defeat, Yosuke reaches over and twists the knob for the hot water, turning the cold down a little as he does, and then wisely steps back out of the spray. He waits, shivering, holding his hand under the showerhead until his body can tolerate the change in temperature without feeling like he’s being scalded, although at this point he’s almost desperate enough to consider it. Maybe if he turns it up to boiling he can strip the image of dream-Souji pinned beneath him from his mind.

He steps back under the water, wincing slightly at the feel of heat on his frozen skin. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, goddamnit! He leans forward and rests his head against the wall just under the showerhead, feeling the rush of water trickle across his shoulders as he lets the frustrated burn behind his eyes crest and fade. He can’t do this. He can’t. Vision blurring in the droplets running down his face, Yosuke reaches a shaking hand down and curling his still-numb fingers around himself. He hisses at the contact, knees almost giving out at the rush of feeling just that simple action elicits.

FUCK.

Giving in, Yosuke takes a second to reach for the bottle of conditioner just off to the side and takes two pumps into his hand. He slides his fingers through it, smearing it across his palm as best he’s able, before wrapping his hand back around himself. He takes a deep breath and starts to stroke.

He forgoes all preamble, any technique he would normally employ, any trick he’d use to draw it out, he tosses them all to the back of his mind. It’s not even about pleasure right now; it’s about relief. He’s so agonizingly turned on that he just wants this over, just wants it to go away so he can go back to sleep and pretend this never happened. He doesn’t think about how he’s going to act around his partner whenever Souji shows back up at school – he tries not to think at all.

He brings his other arm up to brace him against the tiled shower wall above his head, spreading his legs a little to widen his stance and keep from falling. He closes his eyes against the stark white of the tile, too bright in the overhead lighting and too close to his face. He tightens his grip.

It works to take the edge off – the slow slide of his fist over his length, helped by the conditioner – but it’s not enough. He quickens his pace, rubs the pad of his thumb under the head. It helps, but it’s not enough.

Gritting his teeth, Yosuke delves deep into his memory and tries to conjure up images from some of his favorite porno: Busty women with tiny waists and long legs, panting as they rode dick like it was their favorite thing in the world. He tries to picture what they sound like when they moan, tries to remember which girls he finds the hottest, which set of breasts got him off the fastest the last time he watched.

Something feels sour in the back of his mouth.

He switches tactics, thinks of some of the girls from school that he’d fantasized about in the past. Faceless figures in their cute uniform skirts, summer outfits with no tights or jackets to obscure their flawless skin. He’d picked out his favorite attributes long ago, even with the girls he’s never met, never spoken to – he keeps a mental list of whose asses he likes the best, which ones he thought would look cutest on their backs with their thighs wrapped around him. It doesn’t work.

With a choked whine through clenched teeth, Yosuke twists his wrist at the end of his stroke, pleading with anyone listening that it makes him feel something. The motion is there, the pressure, the heat of his palm, but it just not what he needs. Something isn’t right, isn’t letting him reach any closer.

Desperate and impulsive, he goes to the one surefire thing that’s always worked for him before, no matter how pent up or over stimulated he’d been: he pictures Risette in her latest swimsuit photos.

Guilt immediately burns though his veins and rises to the back of his throat like acid. He shoves off the wall, letting go of his dick and nearly stumbling backwards, gasping in shock at the way his mind recoils. That’s Rise! his own brain shrieks at him. That’s your teammate, how could you?!

Yosuke leans back against the far wall of the shower and runs his cleaner hand across his face. He lets it rest there, over his eyes, as he sucks in breath after deep, horrified breath and waits for the roll of bile and sickening shame to subside. He stays there for countless minutes, gnawing at his lip while he breathes, until the utter mortification of what he’d just tried to do finally begins to ebb and leave him be. All the while his dick still aches with unspent arousal, tension tight and ruthless along his shoulders and hips.

“Fuck.”

Slowly Yosuke pulls his hand away from his face and lets it fall to the side. He stares upward with dull eyes, barely focusing on anything but the hazy texture of the ceiling above him. “Fuck…”

He’s screwed. He doesn’t know what else to do; he’s done the cold shower method, switched to hot to shock his system, tried to let his body wait it out, all to no avail. Thinking about porn doesn’t work, thinking about girls doesn’t work, hell, even thinking about nothing still leaves him hard and unsatisfied. Speed doesn’t seem to make a difference, nor does pressure or movement. The stimulation is good in the way that any kind of touch against his erection is, but it’s hollow. There’s nothing – he feels nothing and it’s killing him.

Yosuke weighs his options. He can give up now and go back to bed, hope that maybe if he lays there long enough he’ll be able to go to sleep and his hard on will be gone in the morning. He grimaces; no, what will probably end up happening is he’ll either be wide awake and rock solid for the rest of the night, leaving him to be uncomfortable in an entirely different way when the alarm goes off and Teddie wakes up, (and his parents if they happen to be home,) or he’ll sleep, but he’ll dream.

His dick twitches at that, sending a trickle of fire through his groin, his thighs, his abdomen. It knocks what’s left of his exhalation from his lips.

Would it… really be so bad?

He thinks about the way dream-Souji’s body had fit so perfectly against his own – the scrape of fingernails down his back, a tongue across the seam of his lips. He thinks about the image of messy silver hair, damp with sweat and sticking up in places where Yosuke’s fingers had curled and tugged; he pictures glazed, rain-puddle eyes, half-lidded and looking at him as if Yosuke is the only thing his partner could ever need again.

There’s another twitch, a pulse, and slowly his hand begins to slide between his thighs.

He’s familiar enough his own body by now that he knows there’s a chance the dream will come back and that he’ll just have the same problem all over again, if it ever actually even goes away to begin with. Any relief he might get from finally passing out will likely be short-lived at best. Again, that’s if he manages to fall asleep at all.

No matter what he does, the feel of Souji’s heartbeat under his lips is going to be etched into Yosuke’s mind for hours. Would it be horrible if he just…?

His hand wraps back around his length and tentatively, tentatively begins to stroke. It feels incredible.

Yosuke lets out a long, shuddering exhale as every nerve ending that’s been lying dormant since he fist climbed into the shower jolts to life as if electrified. He slides his hand up again and tightens his fingers, strokes all the way down and glides his palm over the head. It’s like the first time he’d ever summoned Jirya – a buzzing, tingling sensation that had started somewhere at the base of his skull and spread to every limb in his body, leaving him warm and giddy with his newfound rush of power. Now, though, instead of the surge of a hurricane releasing from his mind he feels the low, simmering heat pooling in his gut and trickling outward, further and further with every pass of his hand. He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the wall behind him, finally letting the pictures on the backs of his eyelids out into view.

Souji underneath him, pressed into the mattress with Yosuke’s knee between his thighs, breath hitching as he watches Yosuke with eyes like frosted rain. Souji’s lips – capable of summoning lightning and calling out commands in the midst of battle – parting in a gasp that sinks into a moan. Souji’s stormy eyes sliding shut. Souji panting, begging, whispering Yosuke’s name with the same kind of reverence Yosuke has used before in awe of Souji’s power. Yosuke’s fingers in Souji’s mouth, his hand in Souji’s pants; tongue and teeth and a trail of bites and kisses against Souji’s rabbiting pulse.

Souji’s hips bucking up against him, a whimper, a keen – what would he sound like? Would he be quiet like he is in real life? Or would he scream and tremble as Yosuke took him apart? High-pitched and breathy? Or a growl, low and dark and gravelly; a single sign of his god-like patience finally snapping before he dug his nails into Yosuke’s shoulders and flipped them over to ride him instead?

Yosuke’s body jerks. Heat and lighting crackle through his skin, setting his nerves on fire, causing him to gasp in shock at just how much it is. Somewhere in the back of is mind he thinks he hears Jirya purr.

He licks at his lips, bites them to hold back the quiet whimper he can feel building in his throat. He squeezes his eyes shut tighter and replays the image against the stars now flickering in and out of his sight.

Souji in his lap. Yosuke’s grip on his hips, his thighs, guiding him up and down as Souji grinds against him; sweat-slick, hot. His lips, his teeth, his tongue on Souji’s neck, gentle kisses pressed to darkening bites, claiming, marking. Souji’s hands grasping, scrabbling, leaving claw marks on Yosuke’s shoulders. Souji has such graceful hands; Yosuke wants to pin them above his head, to find out what kinds of sounds Souji makes; wants to drive him to the point of desperation so that he begs and pleads for Yosuke to let him come. He wants to run his fingers across the expanse of Souji’s body, feel Souji’s hipbones under his hands, lave his tongue and sink his teeth into the soft, strong flesh of Souji’s thighs.

Souji in his bed, in his arms. Souji crying out as Yosuke rolls his hips and drives himself deeper. Souji, Souji, Souji…

“Souji…”

The name falls from Yosuke’s lips and he feels the stings coiled deep inside him start to pull, taut and sharp. The sound of it spears through him; it settles in his fingertips, in the balls of his feet, wraps around the base of his spine and stretches upwards like ivy and Yosuke barely has time to slap his free hand over his mouth before his whole body lights up brighter than an aurora. He clamps his teeth down on his middle finger, so hard he can feel the press of bone between his teeth.

And then Yosuke is coming. Hard and intense and without any warning – with his partner’s name on his tongue like a prayer.

  Sound is the first thing that returns to him; the quiet spray of water, his own ragged breathing. Slowly he opens his eyes, blinking against the sharpness of the light and the glossy tile it’s reflecting off of. Blank eyed, he stares at the rivulets of water running down the wall beside him. His lungs take in a deep, long breath and he centers on the way his chest expands.

By the time he’s fully back in his own body, back in his soundless house in a tiny little town in the middle of the night, the shower water has started to grow cold again. He watches as it circles the drain, spiraling, mixing with the remnants of what he’s just done and washing it away out of sight. He leans his full weight back against the wall and carefully sinks to the floor.

What did he just do?

Oh god, what did he just do?

Yosuke brings his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and burying his face into his knees. He digs his forehead, his nose, his mouth into his skin as hard as he can, as if he can somehow smother the knowledge of his actions if he just presses hard enough.

What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

He stays under the ever-colder spray of water as his mind begins to devour itself, sitting hunched and shaking until all traces of heat are completely gone.

[individuationfic]

Seeking to Seize Chapter 13

AO3

They’re barely back from their camping trip when Kanji approaches Yu on his walk to school. In slow, clumsy JSL, he signs, ‘Shopping district busy. Case?’

Yu thinks back to the morning’s weather forecast and signs back, ‘It will rain tomorrow. We will check the TV then.’

Kanji nods, his face resolute, and their walk continues.

Something ugly twists in Yu’s gut. Sure, Kanji looks older than he is, but the reality is that he is the youngest member of the group. When Yu looks at him, and image of Nanako appears, unbidden, in his mind. He thinks about the little scars they all have but refuse to talk about; the cuts that are just a little too deep or a little too long for Dia or Diarama to heal. He thinks about the fear he feels when someone gets knocked out, how still they go, how disoriented they are when he forces the revival bead past their pale lips. He thinks about all the money he’s spent on bandages and salves and painkillers for when he and Yukiko are too trained to heal people with their magic.

Yu forgets, sometimes, that he and his friends are just kids. Then, when he remembers, he feel that they are missing out on a vital, carefree part of their youths. While he’s grateful for the addition of Kanji’s raw strength, he already mours that little bit of his childhood that is being ripped away.

All the more reason, Izanagi says in his mind, to catch this killer quickly. The faster you bring them to justice, the faster you can all return to your normal lives.

For once, Yu needs no extra prodding to agree.

Yosuke has been acting weird since the camping trip. Yu doesn’t have any concrete proof, but Yosuke has been fidgety, and he won’t look Yu in the eye anymore. Which is why, when the opportunity arises, he insists Yosuke accompany him and Kanji to warn the killer’s next victim.

The girls already having plans is very helpful; Kanji’s JSL isn’t good enough for him to interpret for Yu yet, so Yosuke needs to come for any communication to be effective. ‘Besides,’ he wheedles when Yosuke still looks unsure, ‘when else will you have an excuse to meet an idol?’

Finally, Yosuke agrees.

It’s not until Kanji chases the enormous crowd of admirers away from the tofu shop that Risette appears.

Yosuke’s heart rate picks up and he nearly cries out in relief. See? he wants to say to Kanji. I’m straight! Because even though she’s wearing an apron and a handkerchief that hides the top of her head, Yosuke can still see how silky her skin is, how puckered and pink her lips are, how her body dips and curves. Risette’s physique is about as far away from a guy’s as you can get, and if that can get Yosuke excited, he has to be straight.

But then.

Risette keeps looking at Yu.

Nothing too obvious, but there all the same. She looks up at him through her thick eyelashes while she rings up the tofu he buys, nibbles on her bottom lip, angles her body towards him.

There’s a pang of jealousy, stabbing at him like he stabs at Shadows with his kunai.

For the life of him, he can’t pinpoint which one he’s jealous of.

They stop the stalker, but it doesn’t work. Kujikawa Rise gets kidnapped.

Her Midnight Channel appearance is even more uncomfortable than Kanji’s, in Yu’s opinion. She keeps tugging on her bikini, showing more and more skin each time, and she promises to “bare it all” before the screen goes black.

He just barely resists the temptation to punch a wall. Damn it! he thinks, frustration manifesting in the form of angry tears. I really thought we had them this time!

As always, Izanagi is there to calm him. Do not fret. You have already saved two others. So long as you remain vigilant, you will rescue this girl as well.

Yu nods, screws his eyes shut, and takes a few deep breaths. You’re right. We can do this.

It’s a strip club.

Of course it is.

Yu counts himself lucky as they venture deeper and deeper into Kujikawa Rise’s dungeon. At least he can’t hear the music the others are complaining about. He even finds the pounding base he feels with his whole body a little comforting, if he’s honest.

Maybe, once Kujikawa Rise is safe again, he’ll ask to borrow Yosuke’s headphones.

Nanako sets up a Tanabata tree all by herself. Yu feels bad; he’d forgotten all about Tanabata in his rush to save Kujikawa Rise. He pats Nanako on the head, relishing in her bright smile, and writes I wish to become closer with my friends.

It’s a few days into the rain when the team finally gets to Rise.

They could have gotten here yesterday, but Yu insisted they all rest. He doesn’t feel comfortable confronting a powerful Shadow on anything less than their full health.

As it turns out, he was right to wait.

Because after they fight Kujikawa Rise’s Shadow and Himiko awakens, Teddie goes berserk.

Yu and Yukiko spend about half the fight swallowing chewing souls to keep their magic going. He knows how crucial healing is during a normal fight, and Teddie’s Shadow is brutal. He hits hard and takes damage like a tank. Plus, Yu’s pretty sure he’s going to have nightmares about this one; he is, by far, the scariest one they’ve seen so far.

Finally, the behemoth falls. Teddie, something having changed within him, leaves the group so he can recuperate, and they escort Rise back to Junes. They’re all exhausted, but Yu can feel the sense of accomplishment they share. We’ve done it again.

Was there ever any doubt? Izanagi asks.

The rain stops.

King Moron is dead.

Everyone is, of course, frantic. Was Rise a decoy? Is the killer growing more desperate? Could there be more than one killer? Gods, Yu doesn’t think he can handle two bad guys with Personae at once, so he hopes not.

The sense of victory they shared only a few days ago is gone, replaced with confusion and fear.

‘You should talk to Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai,’ Yosuke signs to him. They’re all in the Junes food court, so JSL makes talking about the investigation easier. Kanji is doing his best to keep up, and Rise looks completely lost, though. A more private base would be preferable, but none of their houses has a TV big enough to go through, so Junes it is. ‘They’re Persona users, right? Maybe they know something.’

Yu agrees, but… ‘Exams are coming up, and after they’re over it’s summer break. We need to decide what we want to ask them soon.’

Apparently tired of being left out of the conversation, Rise says, ‘Has anyone tried to see Teddie after his fight?” Her question is vague enough that anyone passing by wouldn’t be able to glean anything from it, for which Yu is grateful. She very well may be taking over as their navigator, after all, so a little bit of intuition outside of the TV is a good trait.

Chie and Yukiko both shake their heads. “We couldn’t get in a few days ago,” Yukiko says, worrying at her lip with her teeth. “We tried for ten minutes, but we had to leave when people started to notice us.”

Yu signs to Yosuke, ‘Ask Rise if she feels up to going in today.’ Yosuke does, and Rise’s face lights up, but before she can answer, Yu catches sight of a familiar red-blue-yellow figure.

Later, while they’re walking home, Yu signs, ‘Has Teddie been calling me his sensei this whole time?’ and Yosuke laughs, and everything feels almost normal again.

[kouhii]

Ok, I know everyone praises P2 for having a canon gay relationship, But can we talk about how it isn't apex of represantation. I mean, while Jun's great, writers avoided giving him a Shadow. Also his relationship with Tatsuya has pretty much all yaoi cliches of that time (like game can't stop reminding us how feminine Jun is). I think Naoto and Kanji's (and Chie's, in the original) are much realistic and meaningful represantations of gender perspective in Japan.

I agree with some things you have said Anon, but I also think you got a lot of things wrong too, so I’m going to try to adress those things down below in this big post.

Just have in mind that this could be just my own opinion in the matter and I could have made some mistakes or forgotten to mention something, but I really respect your opinion and I will be careful to say anything about the matter.

JUST A BIG REMINDER: FOR SOME PEOPLE POINTING OUT FLAWS IS SAYING THE GAME IS BAD, THAT’S NOT THE POINT AT ALL. I’M A BIG FAN OF THE GAMES AND I REALLY RECOMMEND PLAYING THEM. 

ALSO: I saw some ignorants saying that “the game isn’t even supposed to represent anything” and no, don’t freaking use this excuse for putting dirt under the rug, just don’t. If you are going to mention it in a game at least do it right.

First, I don’t think Jun not having a shadow has anything to do with bad writing because they explored his backstory very well even without a presence of his shadow (there is shadows in P2, but if you came from P4 thinking that shadows are necessary you can get some things wrong, exploring your “true self” is not the main point here, this is more of a SMT game where evil and good are the main attraction).

For example, Jun was manipulated to be Joker and control the shadows that were forcefully created to obey him, there wasn’t a reason for him to control his own shadow to begin with.

But this doesn’t mean we don’t try to show him who he truly is and have a insight of his confusing mind and what he really thinks of himself, through the Caracol dungeon we have a look inside Jun’s mind (looking at his younger self that appears like a ghost) and how he was manipulated to believe there wasn’t anything positive for him anymore.

And the relief of seeing the truth of himself.

He didn’t have a reason to have a shadow at all because he was already accepting the things he had done and accepted what was his true self (we even fight him in two forms, it would be a bit too much to have a three round battle against another side of Jun again, seriously that thing was terrible I don’t think I need another Jun to beat up, please, just don’t).

Second, I think Jun being feminine wasn’t exaggerated or “yaoi cliche”, he is a very caring, warm and protective character shown to have big problems of being antisocial, using his calculating self to manipulate other people and the big trauma he suffered when he thought Maya died made him even more closed.

Even if it is canon that he likes Tatsuya they don’t just slap that in your face with homophobic jokes or him being forcefully flirty every second too, he is caring with Tatsuya, praises him and is very attentive with him, Ginko considers him a “rival in love” just like Maya and the rest is pretty much optional demon negotiation dialogues where you flirt with him (that you, the player, can choose to unlock), calling him your “boyfriend” or saying “you like him”, but that’s similar for the girls too. I don’t remember anything overly exaggerated or mandatory for his interactions.

Now, Kanji too has what you would call a feminine side, Jun loves flowers and Kanji loves cute things and crocheting. I don’t see anything wrong in male characters to be shown to have “feminine” interests, this is what we would call representating people that feel that way too. Let boys smell flowers and admire cute things for god’s sake, this is beautiful and there’s nothing wrong with that (both Jun and Kanji wear make up during some scenes too).

But in Persona 4 they totally mock Kanji for having those traits, they call him “queer” and even his own father says that “because he is a man he needs to be strong” and this confused him to no end. We don’t have this kind of homophobic reaction for Jun feminine traits whoever. 

I don’t think it was bad to adress those things, but for the way they made Yosuke (his own friend) to call him queer and make rude jokes all the time when he already suffered enough? That was painfully horrible and nobody called him out for that while on the other hand Ginko just says for Tatsuya “you are free to love whoever you want” when you choose to say you are interested in Jun and that’s it. They don’t shame you or Jun of being queer.

(This whole scene makes me uncomfortable. I’m sorry they wrote you that badly and scrapped your romance route Yosuke).

In Persona 2 Jun is already shown to be a canon gay character without problems to accept this part of himself because he didn’t suffer from people being homophobic with him (he was already suffering enough with trying to get away from people to begin with), but I don’t think this means he is a bad representation just because he didn’t suffer from it. He is just a character that accepted himself easily because Tatsuya was someone special for him since he was a child and he had even a worse trauma of being manipulated to cope with.

As for Naoto, I think she was a great character who saw how bad and sexist society was of having a girl as a detective and needed to dress up like a boy to continue with it and also because she admired male detective figures that marked her childhood, there is also a lot of transexual implications on her shadow, but she was a nice representation by herself (maybe some more development would be nice).

What I think is:

Persona 4 would be a perfect game about accepting your true self if the sexist/transophobic/homophobic jokes weren’t badly treated and overly used for no good reason, this doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t have addressed it, but they made even your friends do that and you, as a protagonist who is supposed to represent the player as much as possible, can’t even do shit about that (It’s just awful and I got a lot of LGBT people coming to me to talk about how uncomfortable it was for them to see that badly treated in a game).

Because of the rude jokes the good representations were totally “covered” up, as for character alone Kanji and Naoto are nice, maybe just not so greatly developed, but for the game on it’s own it’s just poorly treated.

Persona 2 was a game made in the 90′s and they didn’t make that amount of mistakes that Persona 4 made when addressing a character of being interested in men (I mean most people see Kanji as bisexual too, nothing wrong with that) and that’s why people praise this game (and it is the only game you can romance a male character in the series and they didn’t even have social links/cooperation for the whole dating sim thing).

Homophobia is a delicate and heavy topic, if writers want to talk about it the number one rule isn’t to make the whole work with it all over the place (just mention it and never treat about it seriously is a big mistake) and if the character has already accepted who he is then there is not a single reason for him to not just react to it seriously (I really wanted Kanji to call out Yosuke and talk about it seriously, but it didn’t happen).

Tatsuya is a silent protagonist too and he had options to say “sexual discrimination is wrong”, they could’ve just make something similar for Yu if they really wanted some representation even if demon negotiation wasn’t a thing (just for P5 recently).

If Yosuke wasn’t scrapped as a romantic route they could’ve at least showed a character that was just being homophobic because he was still in doubt of his own sexuality (this is a real thing in real life too, sadly), this would be so interesting to see, but when they scrapped this out of the game they just left him as this character who is a complete dick without a reason and nobody cares.

AGAIN WHY THE PROTAGONIST CAN’T FIGHT AGAINST IT IF HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE AS CLOSE AS THE PLAYER AS POSSIBLE. IT’S UNCOMFORTABLE TO JUST SIT THERE AND WATCH.

The mistake that the new team of writers of P3/P4 and the direction made was so bad and regressive that what we got now for Persona 5 as a gay representation is… just, just look at it:

This is what I would call stereotypes and overly bad representation of “”feminine”” male characters (this whole scene is just a big rude joke on gay panic), to compare Jun of being feminine and exaggerated comparing to that? I’m sorry, but I have to disagree with you. 

It’s not because “Japan is still not as progressive with it as other countries” because the media has already changed a lot and there is other games that treat about it with a far openly mind. This isn’t a excuse for anything.

No, the new team didn’t make a good job at all and never learned from that. I’m sorry if it hurts to say that, it hurts me too, but I don’t think the same team of Persona 2 would be able to make that mistake as careful as they was at least.

[tearsofahime]

I mentioned the involvement of some of the p3 and p4 cast in some of my previous P5 Hogwarts AU posts (Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 plus Kazusakai’s fic are linked), But in this post, we delve deeper into how they tie into Akira’s story.

Special thaks to @delphine-le-dauphin for helping me sort them and assign post-Hogwarts jobs for everyone.

Spoilers for P5, P3, and P4!

Background: After Goro’s betrayal and Yaldabaoth’s takeover of the Ministry of Magic (in which the purebloods in the ministry appointed Shido as Minister), Akira and the others start to look for ways to take down a dark wizard like Yaldabaoth and their quest leads them towards looking the defeats of Adachi and Nyx that happened many years prior to their. They then track down the P3 and P4 casts, who had all, by the time Akira was in his 6th year, graduated from Hogwarts and working, save for Nanako.

Although the quest and search for information and answers was way less straightforward and organized and would have them meeting and talking to a lot of the P5 co-ops as well, listed below are the roles of the P4 and P3 party members (as well as tidbits about their time in Hogwarts).

P4’s investigation team

-          Yu Narukami: (formerly Gryffindor), The leader of the group and quite popular among the student body during his time at Hogwarts, he later became an auror after graduation.

-          Yosuke Hanamura: (Formerly Gryffindor), Yu’s best friend (also rumored to later be his boyfriend, although he neither confirmed nor denied it due to being very private about his relationships especially to strangers). After graduation, he later would move in with Yu and become a business manager of Zonko’s.

-          Chie Satonaka: (Formerly Gryffindor), her work on investigating the Hogwarts Murders would lead her to want to become an Auror like Naoto and Yu. She finds Akira & Co’s determination quite admirable and she eagerly provides information when needed. On a side note, a LOT of people notice that she will go to Yukiko’s inn QUITE OFTEN, enough to the point where she’ll sometimes even make excuses to go.

-          Yukiko Amagi: (Formerly a Hufflepuff) After graduation, she followed in her mother’s footsteps and became an innkeeper in Hogsmeade. She was one of the first people that Akira and the others talked to about the murders as she was a very prominent kidnapping victim

-          Kanji Tatsumi: (Formerly Hufflepuff) After graduation, he became a robes tailor and set up shops in both Diagon Alley and a smaller one in Hogsmeade (robes tailores by him became quite a popular choice among many wizards and witches once Naoto began frequenting his shops). During his Hogwarts days, he was known to seem quite scary especially to his other fellow Hufflepuffs, and he reacted in quite a bit of an offended knee-jerk reaction when Akira and the others asked him about his involvement with the case. (“The hell do you mean ‘my involvement with the murders?!?!’ I Didn’t do ‘em!” “We didn’t say you did Mr. Tatsumi, we know you were a part of the investigation team and we need your help.”)

-          Rise Kujikawa: (Formerly Hufflepuff) She was a teen pop idol sensation among the wizarding world when she was still a student at Hogwarts but post-graduation, she continued on her career as a singer. The Hogwarts Murder Case got worldwide attention when she was kidnapped and later found by the Investigation Team trapped in the Forbidden Forest. Her newspaper interviews about her involvements in the exposure and capture of Adachi Tohru would provide many leads for Akira and the others to follow.

-          Naoto Shirogane: (Formerly a Ravenclaw), the most well-known Auror of the bunch, she was known widely as the “Youngest Auror in History” when she was appointed an Auror position at age 17 (a title that would later be usurped by Goro years later when he got appointed as an Auror at age 16 despite still being a Hogwarts student due to “Special Circumstances”). She has worked with Goro on some cases before, and thus provides a wealth of knowledge for the P5 party as to where to find him as well as any information about past cases like the Hogwarts Murders, although she is QUITE HESITANT to do so at first as they are all just kids and this is dangerous business until she reconciles with herself and reasons that she was doing the same thing at their age and she wants to see Yaldabaoth stopped. She also is one of the first people who provides the P5 party with some actual helpful leads about the Nyx Catastrophe.

-          Teddie Hanamura: (Formerly a Hufflepuff) An easygoing Metamorphagus (and a Bear animagus) he’s not ACTUALLY Yosuke’s younger brother, but he was adopted into the family at a young age after he was found lost without any memories whatsoever. The rest of the IT would note that his animagus capabilities proved to be of much help whenever they navigated the Forbidden Forest.

-          Nanako Dojima: a 2nd year Hufflepuff at Hogwarts when Akira is in his 6th year, Akira tries to ask her if she knew anything about the work her father did on the Hogwarts Murder case. She doesn’t know much as she was quite young when it happens, but she does unknowingly hint that her big brother seemed to know quite a bit about it despite him (to the best of her knowledge) not having any involvement with the case.

SEES:

The quest for answers about Adachi leads to more questions about a previous Dark Lord named Nyx who had just two years prior to the Hogwarts Murders attempted a takeover of Hogwarts and the Wizarding World to try and destroy it, at least until the P3 cast stopped Him. The battle and events leading up to the battle  (and even some events that had happened ten years prior) left many dead or permanently injured as well as left an enormous amount of trauma to themselves, their friends, and their families, which meant getting information from many of the cast members would be proven to be quite difficult as it would bring up painful memories for a lot of the SEES members (some of whom would react with quite a bit of hostility to Akira & Co.’s inquiries before finally acquiescing and helping them provide answers).

-          Minato and Minako Arisato: (Hufflepuffs), Although long dead by the time Akira and the others hear about them, the Arisato twins were all spoken of fondly by their friends when they recall their memories with them. They will also recall sadly the sacrifice they both made with their lives in order to stop Nyx during the final battle.

-          Junpei Iori: (Formerly a Gryffindor), Minato’s best friend, He would later become a professional Quidditch player.

-          Yukari Takeba: (Formerly a Gryffindor), She was very close with Minako, she also, like Junpei, become a famous professional Quidditch player, and the two still make (humorous) jabs at each other whenever they’re at a press conference together despite Yukari serving in the Women’s League and Junpei in the Men’s League

-          Mitsuru Kirijo: (Formerly a Ravenclaw), Hailing from a VERY PROMINENT wizarding family, she was The Minister of Magic until the takeover of Yaldabaoth and Shido’s forceful appointment, she was later put under house arrest by Yaldabaoth’s supporters. Akira and the others would later free her and  before she goes into hiding, she offers them valuable information about the battle with Nyx and the efforts SEES made to take down their organization

-          Akihiko Sanada: (Formerly a Gryffindor), Although he was quite popular with the ladies in the student body and the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team during his time at Hogwarts, after an incident involving Shinji (see below) caused him to start to withdraw from grief after graduation. He would end up spending a lot of time traveling the world in solitude and challenging wizards and witches alike in duels to keep his magic sharp until he would later become an Auror. When Akira and the others ask him about his involvement with the Nyx Catastrophe, he at first reacted in a VERY STRONG and VERY NEGATIVE way because it brought up extremely painful memories.

-          Shijiro Aragaki:  (Formerly a Hufflepuff), Akihiko’s friend from Childhood, his gruff demeanor was often seen as scary to his fellow Hufflepuffs (much like Kanji), but in his seventh year, a skirmish with a group of magical assassins known as Strega (Jin and Takaya, but at this point, Chidori was no longer part of the group) ended with him protecting Ken by blocking a killing curse with a mirror that Minako had gifted him, but the force of the spell would cause the mirror to shatter and cause a shard to pierce into his skull and into a crucial part of his brain, causing him to enter a comatose state, which, despite any number of Muggle and Magical treatments, would not reverse, and he has been kept in a ward in St. Mungo’s Hospital ever since.

-          Fuuka Yamagishi: (Formerly a Hufflepuff), Shy and bookish, Fuuka became an office worker in the Ministry of Magic, carrying out bureaucratic file-sorting duties that were quite her speed. She also tinkers with and makes clocks on the side, which although rare, do fetch good prices. She provides information to the P5 party about the stat weaknesses and analyses of the different magical entities that her and the rest of SEES ran into and fought as she thinks it might help the P5 party know what they could possibly be up against

-          Ken Amada: (formerly a Gryffindor), the youngest of the team, he was a student at Hogwarts who was two grades higher than Akira’s year and graduated a year ago.  

-          Aigis: Unlike the others, Aigis is a Veela and she acts as a groundskeeper of the school as well as the Care of Magical Creatures professor as she is quite good with animals. Her magical abilities would prove to be of much help to SEES in order to take down Nyx, and she was said to have shared a close relationship with the Arisato twins (Some would even say that she had a very intimate bond with Minako).

-          Ryoji Mochizuki: (Slytherin), Ryoji shared a very close relationship with the Arisato twins during his time at Hogwarts (some would even say his relationship with Minato was quite intimate). However He’d later reveal to the P3 cast that he was serving as a Vessel for Nyx (similar to what Professor Quirrell did in “Philosopher’s Stone.”). As he served as a vessel for the Dark Lord, he ended up dying when the P3 Party defeated Nyx in the final battle.

-          Koromaru: Ken’s pet dog, he grew to be too big to keep in the Gryffindor dorm so he was moved to the groundskeeper’s house and put in the care of Aigis, but Ken visited him daily when he went to Hogwarts and after he graduated, he and Koromaru were proven INSEPARABLE.

[ryuji-skullmoto]

first impressions & thoughts on P5 (spoilers till May 2nd):

first of all, let’s get this out of the way: HOLY SHIT this game looks cool, I’m loving the aesthetics, and it’s all so flashy flashy flash flash! and it’s not style that overpowers the game itself, no, I feel like the strong aesthetics really enhance the feels of the game.

so, much like in two previous Persona games, the story takes place in modern times. and I really do mean modern. gone are all flip phones, here cometh the new technology with smart phones and social media. and I really do love how these things are handled by the story; people will debate whether the Phantom Thieves truly exist on forums and your friends will text you all the frigging time. I’m still early in the game, so I’d be interested to know if the social media aspect will play a bigger part than an approval poll in the future.

and the theme of the game being rebellion, this feels like the most political Persona game in a while. I might not have had the opportunity to punch any Nazis in the face (yet) but in the world of corrupted and fascist AU Japan, it’s easy to find theme that comment on our current world and theme that feel familiar. the world of P5 is full of shitty asshole adults that abuse their power, and it truly pumps up the characters (and the player) to fight the power and change the people’s hearts. as a game, it’s also very dark. and where P3 was also very dark, yes, but it was mostly beautifully dark and melancholic, sad. where as P5′s darkness is full of anger and rage. Phantom Thieves first target end up being a complete shithead PE teacher, who abuses his students, sexually harasses girls (trigger warning: heavily implied rape. yeah...), and gets away with it all because of his prior successes. it all culminates when a students tries to kill herself. yeah, super heavy stuff. it makes you uncomfortable, but it’s obvious that that’s the meaning. the story’s not trying to be sensational just to get a reaction of the player. and when you finally get your showdown with the Shadow asshole himself, it feels so good to take them down for all that they did. my only question is, that is any of the future targets going to be more unambiguous about how evil they are? not sure if it would really fit the theme, but it would be interesting to see how the game and the characters would handle that, especially because stealing a marks heart could end up being fatal.

oh yeah, characters! let’s just say I fucking love them all! the contrast of people’s first impressions of Yu and Akira is really stark. while everyone in Inaba seems to fall in love with Yu immediately (whether it makes sense or not), everyone sees Akira as nothing more than a criminal. the world around the protag is harsh and will give you nothing for free, but I have to say I like being the underdog. I always found everyone’s admiration of Yu kinda fake and almost mandated by the game and it’s story (which is why it’s a big part of Yu’s character in NTL), so having a character who has to start from the bottom and slowly change everyone’s opinion of themselves is a cool concept, and I can’t wait so see what they do with it.

Ryuji is my fucking son, I love him so very much. you could say that he’s nothing but a fusion of Yosuke and Kanji, but that would be giving him way too little credit. yes, the similarities are there, for sure, but he still is his own character. he’s a guy who’s had it rough and who people won’t give a chance because of his history, but it’s obvious he’s passionate and loyal, someone who’s not afraid to stand up for his friends. Ann is a dear! she’s such a sweetheart who can still kick your ass if you manage to anger her. also, I just love the fact that when she gets captured on her first trip to the Metaverse, she frees herself. yeah, protag, Ryuji and Morgana are there, but she breaks the chains herself. she’s a bad ass, and I’s trust her to protect my ass any day. also I love that while she’s super beautiful, they didn’t make her ditzy or anything like that, something that many people feared. and Morgana, who the longest time I thought was a she (I’m so sorry, Morgana!). Morgana’s awesome, and I just really love the design of his (???) both forms. even though sometimes I feel that Morgana really could talk a little less and not force me to go to sleep on time, lol! but I’m intrigued about the story behind how Morgana became a cat and all. are you getting some Teddie vibes? because I’m getting some Teddie vibes. 

but what I truly love the most about these character, is that how easily relatable they are. much like with the Investigation Team, the Phantom Thieves feel real. (this was one of my biggest gripes with P3, I just couldn’t get a good grasp of the characters in that game.) I also feel like the character writing is at it’s best. while yes, I’m still very early in the game and I’ve read about the most problematic aspects of this game, it’s still a major improvement, and I truly hope Atlus will continue on this path. and maybe one day, will have our bisexual protag. also, let me choose my gender, please. but I’m getting off topic. like I said, the characters are relatable for anyone who’s ever felt like an outcast, and really point me someone who hasn’t. you really want to see these characters succeed and grow and just be happy.

and while the premise isn’t quite openly laid out (it’s not like “there’s a murderer loose, y’all need to catch him”), the world and the characters have me intrigued. while you might know, I’m a big fan of stories that are more down to earth, and about less fighting gods, I’m truly enjoying the ride P5 has put me on so far, and I can’t wait to uncover more of the secrets of the Metaverse and the world of Persona 5.