#it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on-

[steakout-05]

eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P

additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly

[bbyboybucket]

Beds

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: While sharing a hotel room with Reader, Bucky has a nightmare.

A/N: Surprise. Bet y’all didn’t expect a fic from me. How longs it been? Too long. Anyways, I’m rewriting one of my old fics, or more so taking the same concept but doing it more in character. Also I think this is the first time I’ve written something where we don’t see Bucky’s pov, so I think that’s kinda fun. Btw I’m rusty so don’t judge me if it shows. Also I think this is gender neutral but I’m not sure?

Warnings: language, sexual references, nightmares, ptsd, panic attack (not too intense), allusions to some hydra stuff but nothing graphic, hurt/comfort, frenemies to lovers, Bucky is moody, the one bed trope™️, no use of “y/n”, kinda sappy

—————————

A loud sigh came from the left of you just before the elevator dinged and the metal doors creaked open. You ignored him, you chose not to engage in his passive aggressiveness. You weren’t going to accept the invitation of a petty rant hiding behind that sigh.

You walked down the hallway with Bucky stalking behind you, like an angry pitbull trailing after its owner.

“I don’t even know why we got a fucking hotel in the first place.” Bucky grumbled, and you could practically feel the weight of his eye roll, even though you couldn't see it.

“Here we go.” You muttered under your breath. “What did you want? A safe house? It’s not like we’re on some high stakes, undercover op. Anything more than a hotel would be excessive.”

“Anything more woulda had better sleeping options.” He whined. “Coulda at least got us separate rooms.”

“My god, give it a rest Bucky, you’ve been complaining all day about this.” You we’re exasperated, it was about the third time you’d heard him gripe that day.

“Well, I’m not a fan. Us sharing is the stupidest fucking idea Sam’s ever had.”

“Bitching about it isn’t gonna change anything. And, it’s not like we have to sleep together or anything, I’ll be in a whole different bed.” You said, unlocking the room door. You had been looking forward to chilling out and resting, but as soon as you entered the room, you realized that your night would be anything but restful.

“Fuck.” You laughed, humorlessly, knowing you were about to hear an endless rant. “I take that back, there isn’t different beds.”

Surprisingly that rant didn’t come. Bucky weirdly seemed calmer than he had before and merely shrugged. “‘S fine. I’ll take the floor.”

“Well, one of us can try the couch?”

“That thing could fit a toddler at best.” He gestured towards the small leather love seat as if it was the most ridiculous suggestion he had ever heard, and in all honesty, he had a point.

You pinched the skin between your eyebrows. “Sam said he booked a two person room.”

He shrugged again and then blankly said. “This is why he shoulda booked separate rooms.”

“My god Bucky, I’m not that bad of a roommate. I don’t snore, I don’t sleep walk, and it’s not like I’m gonna kill you in your sleep. It’s one fucking night. Just-“ You took a deep breath and tried to mellow out. “You can have the bed.”

“No, you can have it.”

“You’re obviously more tore up about this than me, so it’s yours. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No.” He refused, his eyes held an odd stubbornness. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“I literally don’t care, I’ve done it a million times. Plus, your grumpy ass probably needs some good sleep.” You half teased, trying to do the nice thing. You unzipped your bag and pulled your belongings out. “I’m gonna go change clothes.”

When you came back from the bathroom, Bucky was already in his boxers and a T-shirt, positioning a pillow and blanket on the floor.

“I told you the bed was yours.”

“Okay, and?”

“Why are you getting down there?“

“Why the fuck are you arguing?”

“Because you’re all pissy about this whole situation, so I’m trying to make your life easier and give you the bed.” You didn’t understand his defiance and odd aversion to the thing he’d been complaining about restlessly: the better sleeping option.

“I don’t want the goddamn bed, just shut the fuck up about it!” Bucky snapped. His outburst caught you off guard, he acted as if you had been purposefully pushing his buttons.

“Damn, fine.” You held your hands up in defeat, almost offended at the way he lashed out. “I get you’re trying to be all gentlemen-like but ya know, the aggressiveness defeats the purpose.”

“It’s not about being a gentlemen. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not being nice, I-“ He grunted. “Never mind I don’t owe you a fuckin’ explanation. Just get in bed.”

“I will, thank you, cause I’m tired. Especially tired of whatever the fuck is up your ass and has you so bitchy.”

You said it with full sincerity, of course you were used to bickering with Bucky but it always was in a playful manner, even when annoyed with each other, it was always friendly fire. There had been no sign of that all afternoon, Bucky was purely hostile and treating you like his greatest burden.

“You running your damn mouth and arguing isn’t helping anything.” He spat as he turned off the lights.

“Wow, sorry. Didn’t know offering you the bed was so fucking rude and offensive.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He groaned.

You muttered “fucking dick” under your breath.

“I heard that.”

As you settled into the bed, you couldn't help but roll your eyes in frustration. You found yourself pondering what you could have possibly done to provoke such a strong reaction from him. You couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't entirely about you. Maybe something else was going on and you were standing in as Bucky’s punching bag, just being the unfortunate catheter for his anger.

It didn’t matter. You had to force all the worry and aggravation out of your head because his attitude wasn’t worth losing sleep over. The last thing you need was to be exhausted on a mission.

—————————

You were jolted awake by a sudden, loud gasp, followed by a soft groan emanating from his direction. Rubbing your eyes, you opened them to find him sitting upright, his knees drawn close to his chest. He looked so small, a stark contrast to the huge stature and borderline intimidating presence you’d become so familiar with. His breathing was audible despite the distance between you, it was quick and shallow.

“Buck?” You concernedly called out to him but he didn’t answer. You then got out of bed, and flicked on the nightstand lamp.

“Bucky?” You tried again when you were closer.

Out of all the time you’d known Bucky, this was the first you’d seen him vulnerable. He was trembling harshly, hyperventilating too. He seemed equally dazed and terrified, but also distant as if he were lost in his head. You always thought Bucky had rather sad eyes but right now, the way they were widened with fear and slightly watering, took it to a whole new level.

You knew what was happening and seeing it felt like a stab to the heart. You slowly sat down in front of him, keeping space between you as to not worsen his panic.

“Buck, it’s okay.” You cooed. “Can you hear me right now?”

His gaze shifted to you, finally making eye contact, which gave you an answer.

“Okay, can you try to breathe with me? Deep breath…in 1…2…3” You exaggeratedly took large, slow inhale to lead him. “Out 1…2…3…”

You repeated the example, guiding until he finally started to follow along with you. “Good, you’re doing good. Do you know where you are?”

“….hotel. We’re on a mission?”

“Good, that’s right, good. It’s okay. You’re safe.” With a gentle and caring tone, you spoke to him, hoping to bring a sense of peace to the turmoil that was raging within him. Your heart felt heavy as you seen the pain that was laced within him, and you wished so badly that you could erase it all. You’d been scared you weren’t doing the right things, but his increasing improvement made you more confident.

“Can I touch you?”

He nodded.

You supportively placed your hand on top of his, stroking your thumb over his skin in a soothing manner. He initially flinched but didn’t pull away. “Starting to calm down now?”

“Yeah.” He released a long heavy breath and wiped the wetness off his eyelids with his free hand.

You sat silently with him, providing that tender, tactile support as he as he worked to regain his composure and steady his breathing. As he gradually calmed down, you noticed the shame creeping over him, causing his cheeks to flush red and his gaze to avert from yours.

“I didn’t want you to see this shit.” He finally said after minutes of silence.

“It’s fine-“

“Fuckin embarrassing is what it is.”

“No, stuff happens. I’m not gonna judge, ya know? I understand. I know what having panic attacks is like.” You revealed in attempt to make him feel more seen.

He slightly shook his head, at himself instead of towards to you, but he stayed silent.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” He paused for a moment, he licked his lips and hung his head even lower. “‘M used to it. Get ‘em bout every night.”

“The panic attacks?”

“Nightmares. Those sometimes comes after though.”

“Oh.” You whispered, feeling like something in you had just shattered. “About hydra?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanna talk about it?” You offered carefully.

“Nothing you should hear. My head’s a fucked up place.” He laughed humorlessly.

“Try me.”

He hesitated for a moment, you assumed he was debating on wether or not he should trust you with such a heavy part of himself. “Basically all memories. Not so much dreams, more so just stuff that’s already happened. Flashbacks I guess.”

As his mouth parted to speak, only to close again, you knew that he wasn’t finished so you waited patiently, allowing him the time he needed to gather his thoughts.

“Most of the time it’s…you know…what I’ve done. People I’ve killed. It’s….of course it’s horrible. Pretty gruesome but uh….I’ve gotten better at dealing with those, it’s still….I just get em so much that I can calm down faster now. But sometimes…it’s the shit Hydra did to me and it’s just….I’d get punished a lot. Some kinda torture or beatings, I’ll spare you the details.”

You continued to stroke his hand and stayed silent, not wanting to push him.

“But uh…they had this chair. Um, I’d get strapped down and they’d electrocute me. That’s how they’d…ya know. And I’d always end up there for a wipe after I fucked up. Or even if I didn’t. I don’t what’s worse honestly…the sick twisted shit they’d come up with or the wipe but…but reliving all that….”

“That’s fucking terrifying.”

“Yeah. Yeah, terrifying is an understatement. Sometimes…it’s hard to feel safe after that.”

His breathing started to pick up again. The cracks in his voice made it clear he was starting to get overwhelmed.

You then firmly grasped his hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. “It’s okay, you don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t like to think about all that. I try to never actually. It’s like…obviously it’s…I can’t describe how fucking awful. But at the same time, if I do think about it, it’s like I’m ignoring all the evil shit I’ve done. And that’s not fair to everyone I’ve wronged. So then….if I never think about or deal with the torture….when I have to relive it in these goddamn nightmares…it just fucks me up worse. And my fucking luck is one of the few times it happens is when I’m sharing a room with someone.”

Your heart sank to the floor, your own eyes were watering at this point from getting just this small glimpse of his pain. “I’m so sorry, Buck. Hell, I don’t even know what to say right now. I wish I could do more to help.”

“You’re doing enough.“

“You didn’t deserve it, ya know? I don’t know everything that went on but you never deserved to suffer like that.”

“Half-debatable. At certain point it had to become karma for the suffering I was causing myself.” He shrugged solemnly.

“That’s not true. You had no control.”

He sighed exasperatedly, filled with a sad frustration directed at himself. He put his face in his palm. “We’ve had that conversation. You already know I don’t see it that way.”

“Yeah but I hope one day you will. And I’ll die before I stop trying to get it through your head that you’re innocent. You know you’re strong, right? So damn strong to be holding it together right now. After going through all that pain and to still be here and be a good man? To come as far as you have. I’ve never met anyone as strong as you.”

“We can agree to disagree but I appreciate it….and thanks sitting with me and calming me down and all that.”

“Of course.”

“I’m sorry about earlier. This is why…I didn’t wanna share. And this is….one…of the reasons I don’t like sleeping in a bed. Makes the nightmares worse sometimes. That’s not your fault though, so I shouldn’t’ve…I just didn’t want you to know.”

“It’s alright. I get it now.”

“I shouldn’t’ve took it out on you. I really am sorry.”

“Buck, I get why you were upset. Well kinda, I honestly can’t imagine even a fraction of what you go through.”

“Goin a little far with the pity.” He grew a tiny smirk.

“Compassion.” You corrected. “And I can’t help it, I mean…not to get all sappy, but I care about you. A lot.”

His smirk morphed into a smile and you mirrored it. You wrapped your arm around him and laid your head on his shoulder, Bucky then slowly encircled you with his own arms. You knew the hug was Bucky's way of wordlessly affirming that he cared about you too.

“Didn’t know Mr. Grumpy was capable of hugging.”

“Consider it a one time gift.”

You chuckled in response but then an idea entered your mind.

“You think it’d help if I slept with you?” You asked softly.

He gave you a cheeky grin. “Could at least take me out to dinner first.”

“You know what I meant.”

He sighed. “Not to be an ass but I literally just told you I don’t like beds?”

“No dumb ass, I mean down here.”

He tilted his head and gave a tight lipped frown. “You don’t gotta do that.”

“No. But if it’d help you feel more comfortable, then I want to.”

He didn’t answer at first but because his face had always been an open book, revealing every emotion with striking transparency, he wore an expression that was etched with heartbreaking gratitude.

“Yeah…we can try that.” He whispered, as if he was in shock.

With gentle movements, you plucked the blanket and pillow from the bed and nestled yourself beside him. As you lay towards him, your faces drew closer, until they were mere inches apart. You could feel his warm breath caressing your skin. In that moment, time seemed to stand still as you both gazed into each other's eyes, it was almost hypnotic. There was no awkwardness when it should have been expected, instead, a comforting feeling washed over you. You were consumed by excitement, tinged with a soothing calmness. Sure, it was paradoxical, but it was consuming and left you lost in the moment.

“Um…” Bucky started hesitantly but then cut himself off, he bit his bottom lip nervously.

Before you had a chance to even consider the words, they spilled from your lips. You were surprised with your own spontaneity, but the question had already slipped. “You wanna cuddle?”

It was as if you read his mind, you could practically see all the anxiety melt off Bucky before he pulled you into his chest. “This okay?” He asked.

“Mhm.” You replied, allowing yourself to sink into the comforting warmth of his body, all while listening to the soft thumps of his heart beating. It was a new intimacy that strangely felt familiar and natural, like everything had suddenly fallen into place.

You heard him yawn and you hummed fondly at how cute it was. “Goodnight, Buck.”

Tenderly, he leaned in and softly placed his lips upon your forehead, holding them there for a fleeting moment before settling his chin atop your head.

—————————

Bucky straddled your lap, his hand cupping your face as he devoured you in a passionate kiss that unraveled you with each flick of his tongue. His other hand roamed to less innocent regions of your body, exploring them with a touch that was both bold and tender.

He repositioned and pressed you down onto the couch, towering over you as his tongue continued to dance in your mouth. You were both breathless, and desiring more. He proceeded to plant kisses on your jawline before moving down to nibble on your neck.

He suddenly stopped, muttering against your skin. “You wanna move to your room? Have a little more space for this?”

“You know what’s funny?”

“Hm?”

“How before we got together, you hated beds, but now you want in my sheets every damn second.” You teased.

“Well…feels a lot more pleasant now.”

“Weird way to say ‘I’m always horny’.”

“I’m making up for 80 some years. And like you aren’t, you’re worse than me half the time.”

“Definitely worked up now, so get me to the bed and we’ll go as many rounds as you want, pervert.”

“Fuck you.” He laughed.

“I’m waiting for it.”

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Poly? In this economy?

Barbie dolls: moonwater x you (regulus, Remus, you)

Words: 1.8k ish

Summary: okay so you and regulus had a fwb and then you get upset with each other and then start dating Remus at the same time and then regulus is like 🥺 I miss you boo bear come back to me

Warnings:Fwb regulus to rival kinda to lover, poly angle to triangle, regulus and you hate each other and then are like "ha nvm", making out in partial public spaces, suicide mentioned you tell regulus to kill himself but with sexual tension behind it kinda, pathetic reg gives loser apology and you forgive him, mentioned that you wear chapstick, Remus calls you darling, that's all

You liked Regulus first. You had started as friends. You were close, you know so much about him. You helped him through panic attacks, homework, and moments of overstimulation. You were so close, when he first suggested friends with benefits you barely blinked. You had shrugged and agreed. It was quite simple, really. You both cared so deeply for each other, as friends of course, why not care for each other sexually as well?

You both met up in secret. Regulus ushered you into his bed late at night. He pulled the dark green curtains together tightly. Regulus pulled out his journal. You were confused for a little before he started writing. So that night you both spent whispering to each other and writing up a contract. To be perfectly fair you weren't really shocked he needed a contract to have a slightly peculiar relationship with you. Within the contract you both agreed it was purely sexual not romantic and if you do happen to catch feelings it is mandatory you tell the other so the relationship can come to a close. It was nice Regulus was very caring as a friend and a sexual partner. He took his time and you returned the favor. You often only met under the blanket of night. When the sun was out it felt different, like it was out in the open for everyone else to see.

Unfortunately for you and Regulus you were both terrible at staying friends. The lines between friendship and a loving relationship started to blur very early. Regulus became more touchy. You started kissing his cheek and lingering with your lips on his skin. It became clear to your friend group something had changed. Barty started joking about it more often. If anyone asked where you two went he responded with 'fucking.' Because your behavior with each other and your friends blunt although not wrong accusations, people thought you two were dating. You were just close friends. You first saw Remus when you were with Regulus in the Library.

Remus had pulled himself into an armchair next to a small side table. A lamp was sat on top of the side table. Remus had a book open in his lap. He had one leg pulled up against his chest. You were picking up Regulus to walk him to dinner. You stood next to Regulus' table, staring at Remus. Regulus stood up and joined you at your side.

He watched Remus turn his book page. You slid your hand up Regulus' arm, over his shoulder, and up to his hair. You twirled a curl around your finger as you admired Remus. Regulus moved his hand over your back. He nudged the hem of your shirt up. Regulus pressed his hand against the skin of your hip. You both kept your eyes on Remus, dragging them over every inch of him. Remus glanced up at you. His eyes shot back to his book. He sat frozen, staring down at his page. Remus looked back up slowly, returning your stares. He looked scared if anything. Startled was maybe more accurate but scared felt right. You hummed. You dropped your hand from Regulus' hair to his hand. You pulled him away from the table walking him out of the Library. You and Regulus debriefed later talking about how ridiculously hot Remus was.

Soon after that Regulus sat you down and spilled everything. He caught feelings. Which was against the contract. Regulus apologized over and over again. You comforted him and told him it was nature and you weren't mad at him. You had assumed if someone caught feelings you'd stay friends, but after Regulus' confession he got sour. He gave the cold shoulder and even if you were able to get him to speak to you, he was rude and mean. So you returned his attitude. Insulting each other was the only way you two spoke to each other.

However, Remus was interested in both of you and you were both interested in him. So you both started dating him separately, aware of the other. It was an odd conversation to have with people. Sirius knew first, Regulus spilling it all during their regular catch up times. Sirius first thought Remus was cheating on Regulus with you. Regulus had to stop him from giving Remus a shiner.

In the end though you three were comfortable and that's all that really mattered. You liked dating Remus. You liked lightly bullying Regulus. Remus liked dating you both even if you both seemed to consider homicide everytime you were near each other. Regulus liked dating Remus. He liked threatening to kill you. You and Regulus did hate each other but you both loved how the other made Remus happy so you had a small silent alliance to not kill each other. That didn't stop you from insulting him though.

You were reading In the library, comfy in your armchair. You knew Remus and Regulus had a date later today, so you were perfectly fine with sitting on your own. You were having a lovely time, enjoying the joy your quiet brought you. Until Regulus showed up. He was decked in Remus' sweater, it swallowed him. If you didn't deeply hate him you'd say it he looked cute.

"See you're wearing my boyfriend's sweater." You muttered without looking up from your book. You truly just wished he would get annoyed with you and leave now.

"Our boyfriend, but that's just semantics." Regulus joined you, sitting in the armchair next to yours. You sighed. He doesn't seem to be leaving anytime soon.

"Did you take my suggestion into consideration at all?" You glanced at him out the corner of your eye. Regulus leaned over the small table, proping his head up on his fist. He quirked an eyebrow up.

"What to kill myself?" He asked. You nodded and gave him a bright smile.

"If you can't come up with any ideas, I have some." Regulus rolled his eyes at you. You looked back to your book, maybe he'll leave now? Regulus dropped his hand onto your arm resting on the table.

"I think we should have a genuine serious conversation about our relationship." He was staring at you with a slightly concerning face. You looked at him worried. Regulus stood and pulled his bag further up his shoulder. You rolled your eyes and bookmarked your page. Maybe he wants to kill you less, a small friendship to blossom. You know what they say second times the charm. Close enough. You stood and followed after him. He led you out of the library and outside into the courtyard. Regulus sat down under a tree and looked up at you expectantly. You sighed and sat next to him, leaving a space between you. Regulus stared at you with sad eyes. You sent a glare back.

"I'm really sorry. For everything. I miss you, so much. I miss your friendship. I care for you so deeply, when you leave I feel like flowers with no water. I don't think we should've stopped being friends when I caught feelings. I need your love. I need you." Regulus let out a deep breath when he finished his rant, staring at you so he didn't miss a second of your reaction. You sat there blankly. If he could throw you away so easily the first time what's stopping him from a second time?

"Are you asking me to be your friend again?" Regulus bobbed his head side to side. He groaned at your question and pressed his lips together.

"More so begging you to be my friend again." You sat silently for a moment. You looked off towards the school. Technically speaking, you could run away from him now and never speak to anyone ever again.

"I don't want to be your friend." Regulus' face fell. He sat up straight, fixing his posture and looking around the courtyard. You quickly noticed your phrasing and started speaking again. "I wanted to be more, when you first told me you liked me." Regulus glanced back at you.

"Really?" Regulus whispered. You nodded. He stared at you for a moment. You waited patiently, you felt an even colder shoulder coming your way after this. "I want that too." You looked at him partially shocked before remembering his feelings really started this whole ordeal in the first place. You gave him a soft smile, much to his delight. He made you smile again.

"I'm glad. Although I do believe we'll have to have a conversation with Remus." You added. Regulus nodded and gently intertwined your fingers. You felt your body swarm with a buzzing sensation. You had deeply missed his touch, it was nice to be back. He tilted his head to the side, lightly knocking your forehead with his.

"I would really like to kiss you now." Regulus' words were barely above a breath. You grabbed the front of Remus' his sweater and tugged him forward. You pressed you lips against his. He rested his hand on the back of your neck, pulling you even closer. You dropped your hand from his sweater to his knee, pulling it into your lap. Regulus' body was pressed against yours and if he pulled his leg all the way over your lap he'd be straddling you. You nipped at his bottom lip, pulling back for a split second.

"My chapstick will get all over your face." You whispered against him. You knew you'd have to reapply after this.

"Good, I'll taste like you." He pulled you back in, pushing his tongue into your mouth. Kissing him was like nature. It was so easy to fall back into your old habits. If the tree root wasn't pressing into your leg you'd think it was the middle of the night in his bed. It was slightly different this time, it felt more loving. It was in the sunlight, anyone could see, and there was a promise of a relationship behind his lips. You smiled into his kiss, pushing your hand up under his sweater. You heard someone clearing their throat. You both quickly pulled away to look up at the cause. You met your eyes with Remus. You coughed and wiped at your mouth.

"Hey guys." You and Regulus both muttered a hello looking around at anything other than Remus. "This is new" Remus said, gesturing between you two.

"We have decided to put aside our differences." Regulus explained to Remus. Remus chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah I can tell." Remus said. You snorted. Regulus glared at you. You looked away off to the left, avoiding Regulus' eyes. "Alright well up you get, Regulus. We have a date, and darling we will be discussing this later." Remus gently tugged Regulus up by his forearm. Remus pulled Regulus' bag up over his own shoulder, carrying it for Regulus. Remus turned to you and dropped a kiss to your cheek before moving back to Regulus. Regulus linked their elbows together walking off towards their date night. Regulus looked over his shoulder and blew you a kiss. You smiled to yourself, happy to have both of your strange boyfriends.

[mikavlcs]

Breathe

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x asthmatic!fem!reader

Summary: A sudden run in with the Hyde induces an asthma attack. Luckily, Wednesday is there to help you.

Warnings: asthma attack(?), this is kinda rushed and not proofread lol, author does not have asthma but tried their best to research, this also makes no sense with the timeline of the show...ignore that<3

Word count: 2.8k

Notes: late post lol but this was a request from two weeks ago. sorry for the wait anon, but i still hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

Having a partner in her investigation was something Wednesday never planned on.

She had started it alone because she was the only one to see Rowan’s death, and apparently, the only one to believe it actually happened.

Besides you.

The first time you approached Wednesday about what happened that night, she simply walked away. But you kept coming back, kept insisting that your knowledge of outcasts and creatures could help her.

After a week of your attempts, she did spill some of the details to you, only because she was desperate for you to just shut up. 

But you surprised her. Greatly.

Once she showed you one of Xavier’s paintings she stole, you were the one that correctly identified the monster as a Hyde. You confirmed that the Hyde was indeed a person and that Hydes always acted on the whims of their masters.

Despite her initial impression of you, you had provided crucial information to the case and made yourself an imperative part of it moving forward.

Before she knew it, she was spending more and more time with you.

When she found a new lead, you were informed as soon as possible. Your opinions and insight became important to her, though if you asked her she would vehemently deny that. And your presence in her dorm became so normal, that Enid and Thing would inquire about your whereabouts when you weren’t there.

Though she’d love to say otherwise, the two of you had grown somewhat close. Which is why she wasn’t entirely surprised to find out that you were asthmatic.

The time you spent together allowed her to notice many things about you and she noticed the ways your condition manifested itself in your behaviors within weeks of properly partnering with you.

You tended to avoid strenuous exercise, something she never thought twice about because she too had no love for exercise or physical sports of any kind. But that combined with the rather persistent cough you had some days and the vague panic she saw in your eyes whenever that cough got particularly heavy made her aware that something was off.

Your reasoning for not telling her about it upfront was some ridiculous fear that she would kick you off the investigation if she found out about your asthma.

But she didn’t, she only demanded you give her one of your spare inhalers.

Not because she personally cared about your well-being, that would be ludicrous. She simply wouldn’t allow you to die because of something as pathetic as your own forgetfulness.

You were her partner, after all, and you dying would significantly affect her investigation. Which is the same thought process she followed from that point on when she found herself studying you.

Wednesday would observe you throughout the day, taking note of how clear your breathing was or how much you coughed, and if you were having issues, she would try to deduce why.

Weather conditions, she found, had a particularly damning effect on you. Things like air temperature and density affected your asthma greatly, and the moment she realized this, she began making adjustments to her investigation to better suit your health.

During stormy days when the humidity in the air was almost stifling, she would ask you to help put together a crime board in her dorm.

She would insist on doing research in the library on colder days since the frigid air could be a trigger for you.

The spare inhaler you gave her gained permanent residence in her bag, going everywhere that she did in case there was an emergency of some kind.

And this ended up paying off greatly when the two of you journeyed into the forest to find the cave in one of Xavier’s drawings.

Wednesday was very hesitant to let you come along in the first place.

There was a myriad of factors that fed into her reasoning, your asthma being one of the largest. But your arguments were not without their merit.

The weather was clear, the sun shining bright without a cloud in the sky to impede it, and the Hyde hadn’t made an appearance in weeks. And while that was true, there was still an inherent danger in the situation.

You absolutely refused to take no for an answer, following her around and bothering her (more so than usual) all day.

Part of her still wanted to refuse while another wanted to give up and accept your company. Your guidance and knowledge weren’t necessary for this, especially given your lack of knowledge about the layout of Jericho’s forests.

But as much as she wished it was, Wednesday couldn’t deny that the idea of spending more time with you wasn’t entirely unappealing.

So she gave in and allowed you to join her, on the condition that you both brought along an inhaler for you. You agreed with some light grumbling, and you both set off into the woods.

The two of you had been roaming through the forest for about twenty minutes—Wednesday closely reading Eugene’s directions while you leisurely followed, offering the occasional (bad) joke to fill the silence.

You were in the middle of one of those jokes when a sound in the distance made you both freeze.

Wednesday turned, met your wide eyes, and looked in the direction of the sound. She waited, watching closely for any type of movement.

There was a moment of stillness then a twig snapped, the sound closer than the last. More silence ensued and Wednesday quietly inched toward you, positioning herself in front of you. A beat. Then a long scratching sound cut through the air, like something sharp—a claw perhaps was carving through the bark of a nearby tree.

Wednesday’s hand found your wrist, and she barely had the time to properly look at you before a thunderous roar tore through the forest and she was taking off in the opposite direction, pulling you with her.

Trees whizzed past in a blur as she, and in turn, you raced through the forest. Wednesday wasted no time trying to identify the creature following them. She knew that roar. She heard it the night Rowan died.

It was the Hyde, finally reappeared after weeks of inactivity to antagonize you two. Intentionally? Possibly. But she wasn’t going to fully delve into her theories until both of you were safe.

She didn’t dare look back and risk losing her footing on an unseen tree root or rock, but she could hear the monster giving chase behind her, leading her to increase her pace and tighten her grip on your wrist. The two of you ran at a steady pace for minutes on end, only slowing slightly when Wednesday felt you stumble behind her.

Finally, the sounds of the Hyde’s pursual faded but Wednesday only brought you both to a stop once they had long since stopped and she was sure it wasn’t there anymore.

She ignored the fire coursing through her legs in favor of taking in her surroundings, both watching and listening keenly for any sign of the monster and finding none.

“Alright, I think it’s gone, we should…” Her words faded when she saw you stagger in her peripheral.

Confused, she turned to you and finally took in your state. You were unsurprisingly sweaty and short of breath, but the redness of your face was beginning to give way to an unnatural paleness. Again, you stumbled, your pants turning to choked coughs, and only when she saw your chest stutter did she realize what was happening.

Her confusion morphed into horror, and she was by your side in a second.

She guided you to sit against a nearby tree, and you all but collapsed against the raised roots, harsh wheezes escaping you as your hands fumbled toward your pocket. Wednesday watched, puzzled, as you froze, your eyes widening.

The realization hit her a moment later. Your inhaler was in your right pocket, she knew because she watched you put it there and she was just noticing how flat that pocket now was.

“It isn’t there?”

You started to speak but your chest constricted, swallowing your words, so you instead shook your head violently. The tears in your eyes made Wednesday’s own chest ache, and that pushed her into action.

Tearing her bag off her back, she dug around its contents for your spare inhaler, desperately tossing her things out of the way. She struggled for about twenty seconds before finally finding it.

Like you showed her, she flipped the inhaler upright, shook it firmly, then brought it up to your mouth, her other hand moving to gently cup your cheek.

You breathed in as best you could as she gave a puff, weakly gripping her wrist as you watched her mentally count to thirty. Once she reached thirty, she shook the inhaler again and gave you another puff.

She repeated this process three more times before you shook your head, grip on her wrist tightening. Reluctantly, she dropped her hand and examined you.

Your breath was coming in short, deep gasps, but you were breathing again and that’s all she cared about at the moment. Intent eyes watched as your chest fell and rose from her knees in front of you, refusing to move until she knew for certain it was over.

Eventually, your hand released her wrist, and she hesitantly brought her hand back to her side. You looked up at her, the tears from before gone.

“I-I guess you could say…that you took my breath away,” you gasped out, a smile beginning to form on your face again.

Wednesday rolled her eyes so hard it hurt.

You were fine. She ignored the rush of relief she felt at the fact.

A few minutes passed and, slowly but surely, your breathing began to return to its normal pace. Wednesday observed you closely, eyes still focused on the increasingly steady rise and fall of your chest while her own heart rate decreased.

Shakily, you brought a hand to rest on your stomach, a groan falling from your lips. Wednesday inhaled sharply.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, eyes scanning you hurriedly.

You sighed, tired and heavy.

“I’m hungry.”

Wednesday rolled her eyes again, swallowing a quiet scoff. Of course, you were hungry. When weren’t you?

Shaking her head, she dropped the inhaler back into her bag and slipped it back onto her back. She reached over to grab your arm and stood, pulling you to your feet with her. “Fine, then we’ll get you food when we return to campus.”

“Oh? ‘We’ will?” you drawled, and Wednesday could practically hear the infuriating smirk you had on your face. With a sadistic smile of her own, she turned to you.

“I could always just leave you here. I’m sure you know the way back to Nevermore from here, right?”

Pride surged through her at the way you stammered. She didn’t bother giving you the chance to properly respond, snatching your sleeve and pulling you forward with her. “Let’s go, it’ll be dark soon.”

Knowing you were still a bit shaky on your feet, Wednesday walked slower than usual. It would take longer to get back to school, but there were still a few hours of daylight left so it didn’t matter much.

The walk was quiet. You were less talkative than normal, but she supposed that wasn’t surprising given the circumstances. Every so often she’d peer over at you to make sure you weren’t overexerting yourself in any way and find you just admiring the forest around you. She blamed the warmth in her chest on fatigue.

Throughout the journey, she kept a firm grip on your sleeve, valiantly ignoring the way her heartbeat accelerated whenever her fingers brushed your wrist. 

Around an hour later, Nevermore came into view and, as promised, the cafeteria was your first stop upon your return to the school. Dinner was in an hour, so the kitchen staff initially refused to give you anything until dinner.

Wednesday just glared until they gave in.

You ate your food in silence. Wednesday watched your every move only looking away to glare again at the kitchen staff whenever they looked in your direction.

The moment you were finished, she took your sleeve captive again and dragged you to Ophelia Hall. She was bringing you to rest in her dorm, only so she could monitor your state and make sure you didn’t die in her sleep.

When you arrived, she all but yanked you inside, locking the door behind her. She ventured to her desk and set her bag down while you kicked your shoes off and looked around, eyes settling on the other, uglier side of the room.

“Where’s Enid?”

“Doing god knows what with Yoko,” she answered, striding up to you and tugging your blazer off. You sputtered, the beginnings of a question on your tongue but she silenced you with a glare. She hung your blazer on the headboard and pushed you onto her bed.

“Rest.”

You blinked owlishly. “What?”

Jaw clenched, Wednesday grabbed your shoulder and shoved you onto your back. “Lay down and rest. You’re exhausted, I can see it.”

And she could. She easily saw it in the hunch of your shoulders and the way your eyes drooped the moment your head hit her pillow. You looked like you wanted to put up a fight but after another moment of her glaring, you sighed.

“Fine. But only for a bit, I’m not stealing your bed for the night.”

She nodded. “Good.”

Wednesday promptly returned to her desk and sat down, loading a piece of paper into the carriage of her typewriter so she could begin writing. She was already behind because of your voraciousness, she refused to waste any more time.

While she typed her first few sentences, she could feel your eyes on her. She paid it no mind, her focus entirely on her story. Until your voice reached her ears.

“Hey, Wednesday?”

She didn’t even bother to pause her work, addressing you while her fingers moved swiftly across the keys. “What?”

“Do you think you would let me read your novels?”

Wednesday paused her typing, giving you a sideways glance. Her answer should be no. She had never let anyone read her novels (besides incompetent publishers) but the thought of you reading them didn’t fill her with disgust.

She thought about it for another moment, then answered. “Perhaps.”

A soft laugh came from your direction. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see you smiling widely, and it took all of her innate self-control to not turn and look.

She redirected her thoughts to Viper and her current mystery. Thoughts of your laugh were slowly replaced with the bloody crime scene Viper was investigating and just when she was getting back into her rhythm, you spoke up again.

“Wednesday?”

With a sigh, she once again turned away from her typewriter to face you. “Yes?”

“Thank you,” you whispered, sending a sickeningly tender smile in her direction.

Her words caught in her throat, face getting oddly warm at the soft look in your eyes. She forced a nod, taking another moment to just look at you before returning her gaze forward.

Silence overtook the room again, the soft clacking of the typewriter the only sound to be heard. When Wednesday finally gave in and allowed her eyes to drift to you, she found you finally asleep.

You looked relaxed, even the minuscule tension she saw on you throughout the day was absent in your dreamless sleep. The smile you had before you drifted off waned as your muscles relaxed, but the shadow of it remained and Wednesday was still as captivated with it as she was before.

Once again summoning all of her self-control, Wednesday tore her eyes off of you and set them back on her typewriter, still intent on finishing her dedicated hour for her novel.

By the end of her writing hour, she had only managed to finish five pages. Meager compared to her usual daily output, but she couldn’t bring herself to be upset when you were feet away from her, sleeping in her bed without a worry in the world.

She didn’t look at you directly but she did push her chair back a bit and turn it in your direction, quietly grabbing a book she was in the middle of and flipping it open on her lap.

Wednesday placidly skimmed the pages while taking small, occasional glances at you over the book. Just to make sure you were still breathing, of course.

As she read, her mind constantly went back to your question from earlier. Should she grace you with the opportunity to read her work? A brief internal debate gave her the answer she was searching for.

Turning, Wednesday opened a drawer in her desk and pulled out the manuscript for her first novel, setting it on her desk beside her. When you woke up, she would give it to you along with a gruesome threat to your life if you made any stupid comments or told anyone about her letting you read it.

(Begrudgingly, she looked forward to hearing your thoughts on her story.)

Until then, she would keep watch and continue to make sure that nothing brought your demise before she did.

[whirlwindimagines]

Can you do a vash x reader where the reader is getting overestimed and vash helps them calm down and comforts them?

Me running to write this after my therapy session, In all seriousness lol I did make this being about overstimulated, kinda then it got a little more. I've taken from my own thoughts and feelings for this one, since when I get overstimulated it can spiral out of control for me. No, I didn't just write this about Vash comforting ME shut up. Also, I wrote this a little differently, I wrote this how I feel a panic attack feels. So it may feel a little wild and disjointed, so stick with me <3

‘They see right through, Can you see right through me? I see right through me’

Vash x Reader

You should be celebrating, everyone else was. Why was this so hard, why were you so difficult, why are you so broken? Your mind can’t help but supply that thought to you, and it makes your chest burn it burns hard enough that you can’t even breathe, have you ever been able to breathe? 

It was all too much, sitting here in some dark forgotten corner while everyone celebrated around you. Having fun, existing without a problem. Your rag-tag group of friends managed to save this no-name town from bandits, and well instead of being chased from a town like usual, they were drinking and celebrating in your honor. It was a good change of pace for everyone, they deserved this. Did you? Did you deserve any of this, your friends?

Glancing up briefly, you spot Meryl trying and failing to rein in Wolfwood, Roberto at the bar drinking happily, and Vash…. actually, you don't see Vash at all. For a brief moment, all your own worries and fears are forgotten, you hoped he wasn't getting into trouble…. he had an incredible knack for it. You don't think you’ve met anyone with such bad luck. 

But then you spot him, shyly accepting praise from those around him, a smile that you can tell isn't fake. And for another moment you find peace in that, if anyone deserves to celebrate its him. You let your senses focus on Vash, just being in his presence was enough for you. Maybe you should get up and join them, you decide to, even going as far as to stand from your seat.

And then that familiar feeling, the doubt, the worry, the fear, it's all too much. It's always too fucking much. The lights, the sounds, the people. It's like you can never be. Never exist in the moment, and every fleeting moment of happiness is ruined by the fact. It's too much and you're too little. You can't be here anymore; without a second thought you turn and leave. 

The fresh air is like a Godsend, keep moving, just go, leave it behind. And you do because isn't that the easiest thing you can do for yourself? Gracefully exit the scene, no big productions, a forgotten side character in somebody else's story, because how could the story ever be yours? Your mind is working a mile a minute, it's doesn’t even make sense. You keep walking until you reach the center of town, a lovely fountain sits in the center, it's painfully quiet, and just what you need. 

Sitting on the edge of the fountain, leaning forward to grip your head. Begging for it to stop, for just a moment. Why can’t you enjoy anything? This is ridiculous and pathetic, five….no ten minutes tops and then you’ll force yourself to go back. You just need to breathe. This was fine, you’ll be fine. 

However, the gentle hand on top of your head startles you, sitting up quickly your gaze quickly connects to Vash’s concerned one. Oh, that’s all you can come up with, because why is he here? Shouldn't Vash be with the others, having fun with people who can understand how to? “Are you okay?” Why does he have to speak to you in that gentle way? Why does he always just know? For a second and because you're a fucking idiot, you're angry. Standing quickly Vash removes his hand to stare at you with a question in his eyes, as his arm falls to his side. 

“I’m fine.” Your tone is cold, and straight to the point, his expression shifts, and it's just not fair how can someone possibly look at you like that? Like you hung the stars and the moon? Like your someone to be seen and looked at. “You’re a bad liar did you know that?” his tone is as always kind, but you can sense a hint of something more a plea to be honest with him. 

You are like a wild animal cornered; this is not why you ran out here. You don't want to talk, what was the point? Talking didn't fix what was broken inside of you, nothing could fix that. The sound of your name makes you look up, and you tense. Vash stood closer in front of you, not touching you, but if he reached out his hand he could. It was more the look in his eyes that made you freeze, he looked… tired? No, sad? That wasn't the word for it either… was it longing? 

“You don't have to pretend with me.”

Is that what you do? Pretend to be a person, pretend that you can make it through the day, pretend that your mind isn't a jumbled mess of too much and too little, and pretend that you're happy. Yeah, you guess he's right. The anger leaves you at once, shoulders dropping. “I don't know what to say.” and isn't that the truth, wouldn’t it be easier if you just could figure it out if you just knew? 

Vash’s face lights up, not because you are upset, but because it's the first honest answer he has gotten out of you in weeks. Nervously as if reaching for a wild animal, he reaches a hand out to you palm up. You stare at it, your eyes flickering from his hand to his bright blue eyes. “That’s okay! You don't have to say anything, not right now. Or ever even! I just want you to know…I care… and I get it.” he is rambling in that nervous way he does, his voice cracking a bit at the end you can see the embarrassed blush that sits on his cheeks. 

It makes your eyes soften and smile, his hand touches your face then, holding your cheek, and your breath hitches. His thumb rubs the top of your cheek, right under your eye. He’s smiling now too, and oh no, you think you have a new problem now… but one you don't mind facing. Well, you do mind, it's a little scary, but it makes your heart race in a nice fluttery way not the burn you're used to. “It's…hard to explain, I just… everything feels like too much?” You can’t meet his gaze. “Sorry, that makes no sense.” You say this with a small laugh. 

Your gaze drifts back to his when his other hand comes up to cup your other cheek, the feeling between his mechanical hand and his flesh hand is… nice. “No, it makes sense, you’re doing great.” The praise makes you blush, yeah this is going to be a big problem, future you are going to have to deal with that one. “Vash, thank you.” it's such a simple thing to say, but you hope he understands.

He does, how could he not? When it comes to you, he’ll do whatever it takes to understand, to just listen. You don’t need to talk or explain anything to him, he’s here and he’ll be here as long as you need it, which he hopes is a long time, because God does he need you.Reaching up with shy hands, you grip his wrists, for the first time all night your mind is settled and at peace. He can’t fix you, because rationally you are not broken. But he helps mend the wounds in your soul, in a way you’ve never felt before, you wish you could tell him just how much you appreciate it, his comfort, the endearing way he acts. You squeeze his wrists, giving him a smile. It feels like the start of something, but right now this moment is enough.

[gimmethatagustd]

55 taehyung

When I wake up you're not next to me / Guess I'm missing all your energy / That's all I want / Promise I am not your enemy / I just need another memory / That's all I want / 'Cause all I want is you

» pairing: taehyung x reader

» genre: BTS | 18+ | drabble | exes to friends/future lovers | fluff | angst

» wc/date: 1k | December 2022

» warnings: alcohol | taehyung is Gentle and Soft and Everything Good in the World

» masterlist | AO3 | send me ur thots 👅

» notes: this made me so delulu you have no idea 😫 also this was my first time writing in present tense and ngl i kinda like it 👀

“You’re still the love of my life.” 

Candlelight casts dancing shadows across Taehyung’s face. They highlight the sharpness of his jawline and reflect orange sparkles in his dark eyes. You want to believe the sudden cool breeze cutting through an otherwise warm summer night makes you shiver, but you know that would be a lie. No, Taehyung is to blame for your jitters. He always is. It’s the look he gives you as he lifts his wine glass to his mouth, his tongue briefly slipping out to wet his lips before taking in the red liquid. 

How many glasses were you on? 

You press your fingers to your cheeks, knowing your skin isn’t hot because of the wine. 

You were wine drunk the first time you met Taehyung. You tell everyone you don’t remember that night, but it’s only to save yourself from the embarrassment. You were at a house party hosted by someone you genuinely don’t remember anymore. Although most of the night was a drunken blur, you do remember Taehyung’s warm hands squeezing your own. You remember how gentle he was, how his thumbs rubbed circles into your skin to soothe you while you blabbered through hot tears about your friend leaving you alone at the party. His willingness to find a quiet corner to talk down a stranger from a drunken panic attack was everything anyone needed to know about Taehyung, in your opinion. Calm, patient, and unafraid of looking someone in the eyes during their worst moment and showing them kindness without any judgment or ridicule. 

You couldn’t have imagined that a year later you would move in with the gentle boy from the party. You couldn’t have imagined that you’d get to hold those warm hands all day, every day, whenever you wanted. 

You also couldn’t have imagined that two years later you’d be moving out. 

The gentle boy from the party never changed. Sure, he grew up. He finished graduate school, got a “big kid job” as he put it, adopted a dog, and bought a condo. He matured, but he didn’t change, not really. He was still the same gentle boy. 

You were the one who changed. 

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay.” Taehyung gives you a sad smile when silence falls between the two of you long enough for him to come to his own conclusions. “I suppose that was unfair of me to tell you.” 

And there he goes, being considerate when you’re the one who has been so, so unfair.

“Why,” you blurt out. 

Taehyung looks as though he’s going to speak, but your waiter suddenly appears at your table to inquire about the food that’s gone mostly uneaten on your plates and the bottle of wine that’s halfway gone. 

It’s so easy to get lost in Taehyung’s presence, to forget that there’s a world beyond him. You remind yourself that you’re at an expensive restaurant, on the outdoor patio. All around you are couples sharing a late dinner beneath the stars. It’s Valentine’s Day. The waiter is gone now.

“Why?” Your eyes refocus on Taehyung who now has his fingers threaded together beneath his chin. Despite his sad smile, there’s a quirk to his eyebrows that makes your stomach do something you wish it wouldn’t.  

“I treated you horribly. I put all my energy into writing that stupid fucking book. Writing imaginary worlds instead of paying attention to the one I was in. The one you were part of.” Your voice is small, but Taehyung’s has always been soft enough to never overpower yours. 

He sucks on his teeth and lets his hands fall into his lap. With a cocked head, he watches you for a few too many heartbeats for your liking. 

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” He takes another sip of his wine. Waits. 

“Are you quoting Maya Angelou at me right now?” Your question is meant to carry an accusatory tone, but it’s nothing more than light teasing, and perhaps a bit of confusion. 

And then there’s the boxy grin you once had the privilege of waking up to every morning. Now you had one of those alarm clock lamps that mimic the sun rising. It’s nowhere near as bright as Taehyung’s smile. 

“Perhaps.” He puts his hands up when he knows you’re about to press him further. “But it’s a good quote!” 

He always knew how to speak your language, even when you hadn’t tried to learn how to speak his. 

“It’s an excuse for shitty behavior,” you point out. 

“It’s a promise for a better future.” 

You stop yourself from running your mouth and force yourself to sit with his words. Taehyung, forever the optimist. Where you saw failures, he saw opportunities for growth. 

“Neither of us knew what we were doing,” Taehyung continues softly. He reaches over to take your hand in his. It’s been a year and he’s still soft, still warm, still calming. “But now we know better.” 

You want to tell him he’s wrong; you were the only fuck-up in this equation. But you don’t because Taehyung never lets you get away with speaking poorly of yourself, even after a year apart. 

“I want to try… to do better. But I don’t want to hurt you if it’s not good enough.” 

Taehyung lets out an airy laugh, his intense gaze finally falling from your eyes to instead gaze at your fingers interlocked with his. “I’m not so fragile, Y/N.” And just as quickly, his dark eyes are on you once again. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to look him in the eyes without feeling like your heart is in your throat. “And even if I was, I’d still rather be hurt by you over and over for the rest of my life than settle for loving someone I can never give myself fully to.” 

“I wouldn’t let it happen over and over again,” you whisper, willing the prickly feeling at the corner of your eyes to disappear. 

“Mhmm,” Taehyung hums with a squeeze of your hand. “And that’s how I know we’ll be okay.” 

all rights reserved © gimmethatagustd on tumblr & AO3

do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work

[danco110]

“Kingfisher! Are you all right!”

“Y-Yes. I’m fine, Garild. Why…why do you ask?”

The merfolk in question shot a concerned look to the top of the mountain, and the dragon looming atop it. Though Kingfisher was trying to put on an air of bravado, Garild could see right through it, even from so far away, resting in a lake at the foot of the mountain.

“Well, your face, for one!” Garild shouted up the mountain.

“M-My face?” Kingfisher’s snout gave a pronounced twitch which flashed his serrated teeth, clearly gritted from pain. “What about it?”

“Well, I don’t know! But, it looks like you’re about to jump out of your skin!”

“That’s non-nonsense,” Kingfisher stuttered, which did little to reassure his friend.

“…Are you scared, or something-”

“SCARED! Why would I be scared don’t be ridiculous!”

Now throughly concerned for his friend, Garild clambered out of the water and began scaling the mountain, much to Kingfisher’s dismay.

“What are you doing?”

“Coming up to get you!” Garild growled. “If you won’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll just have to come up there and figure it out myself!”

“S-Surely there’s no need- STAY BACK!”

Garild leapt back into the water, just before a blast of flame scorched the base of the mountain where he had been climbing. He resurfaced and briefly glared up at Kingfisher, before his expression softened once more.

“Kingfisher! Look, just let me-”

But the dragon ignored his friend’s concern. Instead he took flight, straining his wings to put as much distance between him and Garild as possible. With a defeated groan, Garild sank back into the lake, so only his eyes were visible.

“I hope dragons can’t get heart attacks…”

[So, is the spell Terror supposed to be like a panic attack? Because that’s kinda what I’m reading it as.]

[yourmidnightlover]

Hey Jay! How are you? So, I’d like to request number 30.“why can’t you tell me you love me?”, it feels like an angsty kind of phrase to me, so maybe angst with a happy ending with Steve Harrington? Maybe reader is scared of falling in love or something…? Thank you!

i’m well, i’ve been sick the past week but i’m making it hahaha! how’ve you been?

i was thinking the EXACT same thing! this line is seriously begging for angst and i’m a fiend for it.

prompt list can be found here if you’d like to make a request <3

warnings: there’s fluff, then angst, then fluff again!, kissing, a kind of food fight?, reader has a panic attack, mentions of a rough household-nothing too detailed, please let me know if i missed anything!

a/n: i already feel so bad bc this gif is so disheartening! look at poor stevie. he just wants to be loved :( this also kinda reminds me of a fic i posted not too long ago. it’s called this one time with a mayfield!reader, and i’m working on a part 2 for it rn ;)

you froze. you froze as soon as he said the words. how could you not?

let’s rewind a bit…

it was just another night with steve. you had been dating for nearly three months, your relationship having started after all of the vecna nonsense came to a very open close. since beginning as friends, you both realized the feelings you had for one another went far beyond platonic.

as soon as the reunion between the groups commenced, he had began spouting off how he couldn’t lose you, promising you a date once things cooled down a little. in no time, you had become infatuated with one another.

you would often go over to his house to lounge around, study for classes, or simply sleep over. when he came over to your house he found your family rather standoffish, hence why he didn’t come over often. they reminded him of his own parents, arguing all the time.

you didn’t like it when he came over.

but when you were in his arms, curled up in his bed, you felt safe. you would play with his fingers as they danced on your skin. you would play with his hair as he rested in your lap. you would listen to his laugh vibrating through his chest.

you felt peace with him.

he was the closest thing you had to…

but tonight, as you tried to make dinner with him, failing miserably, something was different. it may have been an affect from burning the pasta sauce, or maybe it was because the meatballs were like rocks, but the air had changed, and not necessarily in a bad way.

“you’re ridiculous!” he called out as he fished out a piece of charred tomato from the bottom of the pot it was in. “how did you manage to burn the sauce?” he laughed heartily.

“i dunno!” you walked over to the meatballs. “a better question is why are these things so… tough?” you picked one up, crumbling it between your fingers.

“honey,” he walked over to you, placing a hand on your waist. “i’m sorry to break it to you, but, i don’t think you’re a very good chef,” you but back a laugh before grabbing a meatball, crumbling it before tossing it in your boyfriends face.

“ha,” you have a smug grin to him before wiggling out of his grasp. once your back was turned, for no longer than three seconds, you felt your boyfriends finger rubbing the burnt sauce across your cheek. “you. did. not!” you gasped as you turned to face him before grasping the sides of his face, turning it to smudge the pasta sauce on his face as well. “they say sharing is caring, right?!”

“oh, sweetheart,” he laughed before bringing his other hand to your cheek, effectively smearing the sauce all over your face. “you have plenty, dontcha think? if anything you’re hogging the sauce.”

you connected your lips with his this time, being sure to connect your lips with his cheek and neck after to spread the sauce over him. “some would say i’m quite generous,” you sassed with a bright grin.

his hands were cupping your messy face, “god, i am so in love with you.”

you froze. you froze as soon as he said the words. how could you not?

after a second, your smile began to diminish, your heart racing. his was doing the same. your brows furrowed as if you were lost in thought before you backed into the island. you took a deep breath, feeling panic settle in.

“hey,” steve said calmly. “calm down, breathe,” his hand rested on your shoulder as he used the other to guide your breathing. “i’m here. breathe.”

“steve-i,” you took another breath. “i have to go…” you nudged out of his grasp and didn’t bother cleaning your face before walking out of his door.

once you got to your car, you realized you couldn’t go home. your dad wasn’t away on work this week. there would be nothing but turmoil and chaos at your house. there was one other safe spot for you to go to. you used old wipes left in your car to wipe pasta sauce off your face before driving.

you went to the hill cerebro was once stationed on. it was the place you and steve went for your first date. it was the first place you had sex. there were nothing but good memories attached to it. it was… everything. yet somehow you couldn’t help but cry.

you sat on the ground, not even bothering looking up to the beautiful moon, toying with the overgrown weeds while crying your eyes out. why couldn’t you just be normal.

you love him. you love him more than anything. how could you just let him stand there, a saddened look in his eyes when you said nothing at all.

you ruined the best thing in your life because you were too much of a coward to say some words. you just didn’t want to end up like your parents, saying some words but not acting upon it. love in your house meant anger and frustration and brokenness.

steve deserved better. he deserved the best.

after around half an hour of moping, you heard a car engine turnover down the hill. your heart started racing, nobody ever came to the hill, that’s why it was your special spot.

“y/n!” you heard steve’s voice ring out worriedly. “y/n, i know you’re here,” you saw him walking towards you, a blanket in hand as his face softened upon seeing you. “hey,” he stilled as he approached you.

“hi,” you sniffled, using your sleeve to wipe your tears.

“i brought us a blanket,” he took a step closer. “if there still is an us?”

“yes, steve,” you sighed, soft sobs leaving your lips. “of course there’s still an us. there will always be an us.”

he sat beside you, wrapping the blanket around the both of your shoulders. “why-why can’t you tell me you love me? i know you do. i know you do. so why can’t you just… just say it?”

“steve,” you rested your head on his shoulder. “growing up, my parents said it all the time. but they were so hateful to one another. they were spiteful, and rude, and they would yell, and i don’t want that to be our fate!” you ranted out, feeling his hand gently massaging your shoulder. “you deserve better than to have the rest of your life all mixed up because of me.”

“you are nothing like them,” he reminded you, resting his cheek on your head. “you are kind, and patient, and courageous, and sure, you’re stubborn, but that’s in the best way possible,” he brought out a smile in you. “just because that’s how they are, that does not mean that’s how we’re going to end up, not if we have anything to do about it.”

“i’m sorry,” you cried out, letting his shirt catch your tears. “i am, y’know?”

“you what?” he teased. “oh, i know you’re stubborn, always have. it’s no secret, sweetheart,” you shoved his shoulder back once more before repositioning yourselves.

you sat straddling his lap, your legs on either side of him as your hands cupped his face, “i am in love with you.”

his smile was brighter than you’d ever seen before he moved his face closer to yours, connecting your lips with passion. sealing the promise of a happy future, of patience, and kindness, and love, with a kiss.

[hollyhomburg]

im gonna talk about non-bily things for just a second before i start responding but- obviously I am usually the most sympathetic and understanding person when it comes to mental health, like i really fucking am- i think i have a pretty good handle on understanding it with most people- but my cousins girlfriend is getting a little ridiculous with the accommodations she's asking for and im starting to get suspect of her in a serious way.

Yesterday every single time i suggested something, even simple stuff like going on a walk, she was too /anxious/ for it. And like you know- i get it, i am also anxious. i also have ptsd and agoraphobia. But as the day went on everything i suggested got shot down like immediately. and everything she wanted to do was like /the biggest priority/.

I am totally willing to accommodate people for mental health issues, like always. But if you have say, a phobia of fish that is going to make you have a panic attack, you wouldn’t follow your boyfriend on a fishing trip? right?

She kept whining about her medication and not taking it and i'm like dude- i am all for finding what works for you and learning how to self soothe, but at the same time if you are someone who /needs/ to be medicated to take a boat ride- then you need to take that medication. it's kinda like getting sick and not wanting to take antibiotics, it's not like negotiable. You have tools available to you, use them.

At this point i feel like she's not taking it just to kinda keep my cousin waiting on her by hand and foot because it feels like every time we're just like- hanging out about to do something fun- she's like "nooooooo it's toooo much, i'm anxious about that." i don't know i think if i was in her position (and i have been in her position) you just say "hey i'm gonna go self soothe for a second you guys do your thing" like that would be the normal reaction, not to control him.

i'm over it at this point. i have suffered my entire life through the same issues and yet i do believe there is a line between letting it affect you and letting it affect a virtual stranger. i have met her like twice before this trip. i just wanna hang out with my fucking cousin without her controlling everything for two seconds.

last night my cousin walked me home cuz it was late and dark and the woods gets really fucking scary at night, this is very usual for us he's walked me home every night we've hung out since i was like 7, and she got all upset that we were gonna go without her, it was like 11. like we were all gonna go to bed and she could have easily just stayed back it was gonna take 10 minutes max for him to walk me. but of course she had to come, Only to make him turn around when we were 1/4 of the way home because she got anxious. At this point i'm extremely suspicious that it's just a jealousy thing, because West is honestly like one of my og besties, like we have great hang outs and i think she feels threatened by that and stops us and re-directs his focus back to her whenever he forgets she's there.

And now she doesn't even want to go for a hike today when that was the whole reason why he like fucking visited cuz i was gonna show him a fossil hunting spot before they move to hawaii and ugh. i am usually very very against judging people based off of their mental health struggles and how it affects them but at this point....i'm judging her a little. This has been more than a little frustrating.

[donnatello-with-the-book]

Not Alone p1

Hi, I kinda wanted to make a fic about what happens to the brothers after the Kraang, and I decided to make it from Donnie's pov. hope you like it!

Rottmnt movie spoilers

t-cest/;proshippers DNI

"Breath Donnatello breath." 

This was normal for him. Ever since the krang, it was a constant battle of panic attacks and meltdowns. His routine had become easier since they started. He recognized the signs of his attack, gave himself his meds and played the pre-recorded sound of his voice telling him to breathe. That it would be alright. That there was a scientific reason this was happening, and he wasn't in any danger. It always calmed him to have a reason behind his emotions. Over time his breathing slowed. He decided that the panic attack was over and he could start his recovery. He had routines for everything, this time was no different. He started off by taking a shower. The water against his soft shell helped erase the phantom feeling of the kraang ship tendrils that had infiltrated his shell. This phantom feeling was what caused him most of his panic attacks. Occasionally it would be caused by the thought of losing his twin, or the rest of his family for that matter. But those ended fast, as he could reason with himself and come to his senses. He could never tell his brothers though. Raph put too much pressure on himself already. And leo… he needed to recover without the stress of his brother's attacks. Leo had his own things to deal with. Mikey might be able to understand, but Donnie couldn't bear the thought of burdening his younger brother. No, he must tell no one. He had his ways to fix himself. He could fix anything.

"It's hard knowing so much, '' he thought, as he calmed himself in the shower. As long as he could remember he liked to find the reason behind things. That included his emotions. The first time Leo had a panic attack, Donnie became intensely curious as to why his brother had his attacks. He hyper fixated on mental health and how the brain functions. He knew the reasons, the signs, and all the ways to cope through anything. He taught mikey most of what he knew, because mikey loved to listen to him info dump. Mikey was better at helping the others, so he took care of the brothers' mental needs. But Donnie knew it all, sometimes too well. Whenever he had a panic attack or depressive episode, part of him wanted to be cradled and held and he wished he could let all of his emotion out. But the other part of him knew that he was being ridiculous. That his feelings were temporary and that he didn't need help because this would pass and he would be fine. It was a constant battle. He knew what he had was a problem, but his brothers dealt with so much. So he kept it all bottled away and dove deeper into his tech. He would be ok.

Once he was done with his shower, he dried off, made some coffee, and picked a new project. Diving into his tech took his mind off of the recent events. He didn't think he could handle seeing his brothers right now. He decided to work on upgrading the defense systems on the lair. As time went by he only left this desk to grab more coffee. He looked at his watch. 3:00 am. No doubt his insomniac twin was awake in the med bay. When they were little, the brothers spent time late into the night playing games and adventuring the sewers. Splinter gave up trying to help them sleep. He let them run until they tired themselves out enough. Then he tucked them into sleep. Their insomnia never left, which made for some strange nights at the lair. Donnie smiled as he thought of the times before. He hoped that those times would return, but he doubted they would. The family would never be the same. He was still lost in thought when the second knock at the door rang out.

"Donnie?" He turned to see his younger brother standing in the doorway. "Sorry, I didn't think you heard me knock." He looked nervous. Then Donnie realized he probably looked terrible. He hadn't slept in days and the panic attacks wore down.  "It's ok mikey. Do you need anything?" His brother seemed sheepish. "Well um Donnie don't you think you um should get some… sleep?" He understood now. His brothers, mostly Raph, have been bombarding him with their suggestions of sleep. One time, Raph and him got into a heated argument over his sleeping habits. It had gotten heated enough to the point where yelling could be heard across the lair. He didn't need sleep, he needed to work. "Sorry Mikey, I need upgrade the lairs." He said softly. He knew Mikey heard the argument and it freaked him out. "Didn't you upgrade them already?" Mikey asked. He knew his brother was just concerned, but it bothered him. He had upgraded them 5 times this week, but the lair needed more protection. What would happen next time someone broke in, or if big mama came back, or, or… Suddenly the feeling of someone's arms wrapping around his torso became apparent. He looked down at his younger brother. "I just… you to be ok. I want all of us to be ok D. I know you haven't been out of the lab in days. Everyone's worried and it's not the same without you. We just want you back." His brother was now crying as he clung to Donnie. "Leo misses you, Raph misses you, April, splinter, we all miss you. You're not alone. I promise it'll get better we just need you to tell us what's wrong." Donnie realized he started tearing up too. After a panic attack he normally hated physical touch, but he decided that right now was ok, and enjoyed the embrace of his brother as they both stood and cried. 

"So," sniff "do you wanna tell me what's wrong?" Mikey said. They had both stopped crying and had sat down in the lab. "Not really," Donnie signed. When they were younger, Donnie realized he went nonverbal a lot.. he then learned about ASL through his research.. him and mikey teamed up to create a version just for them that the brothers could do with three fingers. Donnie and Mikey tried to teach their other brothers, but Leo's attention span was too short and Raph just never picked up on it. Regardless, it was always a way for Mikey and Donnie to communicate when Donnie was having sensory overload or a panic attack. "That's ok," Mikey replied. "Is it OK if I stay here for a little bit?" Donnie replied with a short sign of course and the brothers sat. Donnie could feel his eyes drooping as his sleep deprived mind finally realized what it needed. "I am going to sleep. '' He signed as he got up to make his way to bed. His brother looked like he wanted to say something but didn't. Donnie took his best guess and signed, "do you want to sleep with me tonight?" Mikey nodded. When the turtles were little, they loved to sleep in a group, huddled next to each other in one giant pile. Occasionally they would still do it. But seeing how Leo was injured and Donnie and Raph weren't on the best terms, a snuggle pile with just Mikey and donnie would do. They both curled up in donnie's bed and slowly drifted into sleep.

Donnie woke up with a searing headache. It felt like drilling into his skull. As he slowly came to his senses he realized that mikey was gone, probably making breakfast. He had always been an early riser. Donnie grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen off his nightstand and took a small handful. He deduced his migraine was likely from dehydration. He tri3d to get up but his world swam. He settled for the lukewarm water that had been sitting next to his bed for god knows how long. He knew the only way to get rid of this was rest and water, so back to bed he went. He would much rather be productive but he knew he would be of absolutely no use right now. Plus, his bed looked very inviting.

The migraine was gone. That was the first thing Donnie realized as he gained conscience. He reached around his nightstand attempting to find the small analog clock. Because his lab had no natural light, he had no sense of time. He found the clock and checked the time to find it was 3pm. He realized he had probably gone to sleep between 3 and 4 am. This meant at least 11 hours of sleep. That was good. He stumbled out of bed and into the lab to grab his battle shell. He had begun to wear it more often because the pressure of it kept him grounded and helped ease the phantom feelings. He found himself staring at the lab door. Was Mikey telling the truth? Did they really miss him? It hadn't really crossed his mind. He had assumed that they were busy with their own things, and hadn't wasted a thought on him. But I Mikey had been telling the truth he needed to go out there. It would be good for him to escape from the constant blue light emanating from his lab. Things would be tense with Raph for a while, but then again the brothers were always good at solving disputes. It would be good to see April and Splinter. He also wanted to check on Leo. He had a hunch Leo's mental health was not the best either. Yes, he needed to go out into the lair. And he would.

[sinkableruby]

7, 12, 21, 22

gaming time

7. A series you’ve lost interest in?

oh actually uhhh. minecraft i cant play it anymore its either i try to focus on the building and i run out of materials and i have to go into caves which are prettier now but they're still caves and each trip is a trek or it feels like a trek in my mind and its like actual chores but like not in a fun animal crossing way in a shitty real life way and you have to KEEP GOING BACK and no matter where i put my house i am never satisfied with it and even if i go creative mode and do nice builds that gets old pretty quickly and man i just cant deal with it anymore.

also terraria is better lol

12. Do you prefer ‘blank slate’ main characters you make yourself or otherwise project onto, or characters with a set personality and backstory?

stealing dis's answer it probably depends on what works for the game yeah. i love roleplaying a whole lot but i also love seeing other ppls characters. that being said, i wish there were more games that were open in some way to a roleplaying kind of thing. so if you want a straight answer, i'd go with that

21. A boss you think is really cool

oh theres plenty of these yeah i always love like hidden bosses that are really hard like sans, malenia, etc. the challenge is fun and its always cool to be overwhelmed with the difficulty like oh shit playtimes over monster hunter is cool bosses: the game, basically (sometimes annoying bosses but shhh we dont talk about those). odogaron and nergigante from world are my absolute favorites. the sheer Energy odogaron has when attacking you is insane. it's so fast and always just throwing things out, it feels like a dance when you're fighting. very cool and nergigante... nergigante has lots of presentation, but also its spikes are so fun to break, its rewarding. fighting that arch tempered solo was so cool. and of course you have the divebomb:

i love this so much, the person in this video is wearing upgraded armor and fighting a lower level nerg because that move WILL kill you instantly, like always. and the hitbox is HUGE it's ridiculously big. i mean you can see how big it is in that video (that person isn't dodging it right most of the time). but the spectacle of it is so cool too. it roars and spreads its wings like that and you KNOW something big's coming. and you feel that note of panic every time, even when youre used to the fight. its so fun. maybe this appreciation of the unforgiving is why i like malenia (and that bullshit move she does) and sans too lol also shoutout to ftl's final boss (i am so bad at that game) and etg's dragun. also also, shoutout to touhou (all of it). also shoutout to elden ring's elden guy (that is definitely not what its called) big elebit. elden... whatever. it looks so cool :) and the fight is really fun to try no-hitting more emotional wise shoutout to omori's final boss. no spoilers but that one is so powerful and very well executed. omori has great bosses like that that impact you. another one i really like, maybe even more, is the one where this music plays:

it just screams hurt and betrayal (and the fight does too!) and you can just Feel it. and the aftermath of that fight is heartbreaking

22: A boss that was disappointing

oh starbound is perfect for this one. the game is so nice with its cosmetic and customization, and me and my friends were really enjoying it, but the enemies and encounters and bosses in this game were just. not. good. because you could overlevel (idr if level was actually a part of that game, but there was like higher level equipment and stuff) but the bosses werent like matched to your level or anything they just stayed the same level. so you could easily overlevel without knowing it (you might even think ur preparing a reasonable amount, certainly felt that way to us) and when the whole world is filled with nothing but shit thats easy to kill and a boss that's pathetic its like. ah. time to customize a bit more and then the fun is done. kinda kills the hype yk. if it had better fights that game would genuinely be awesome

[free--therapy]

Hii it's anon! Thank you for all the advice again, I'm always grateful 🫶 I thought about it a lot and honestly, recently, it's been weirdly better? I mean, it gets bad then it gets good again...kinda like that.

I know it's very much up and down still. It's like two steps forward and one step backward and so on. At the beginning of the week, I read your responses and I have better perspectives on whatever I'm worrying about but even I don't know how the week is going to turn out, what new or old irrational thoughts will pop up and affect me, etc. So even I don't know how my mind is going to be by the end of the week, it's kinda adventurous and funny lol

Even now, any worry related to the same old worries pops up, kinda affects me and makes me worry but then eventually in a day or two (or sometimes maybe a week or two haha), I can see with more clarity how it's no different than any other irrational thoughts and worries.

It's just a cycle and like you mentioned, healing isn't linear. I very well know this is just a setback. One of the worries I started overthinking about two years ago is just back is all. I also know that while things may seem like they get bad again after some momentary peace and clarity, but one thing that won't ever go away is that I know my mind better now and that's something that is definitely different now.

I just wanted to talk about the thing I mentioned with me being worried about if things will get back to how they were two/three years ago and about the whole forums and videos situation. I just thought maybe I should clearly share what exactly it is that I've been thinking about and worrying related to that.

So when I first had a panic attack (I remember it was August 2020- I was a 19 y/o back then), it was around when I had lost a friend due to an accident. We weren't that close but I still considered him a friend and a classmate I could depend on. After that incident, for some days, I kept thinking things like, what did he do to deserve this, he was such a nice person, why do we get to live so carefree and he didn't, I thought it was so unfair. I was down and in sort of disbelief but then thought, I should let it go. On top of that, around that same time, I had ongoing health issues so I was troubled by that too.

So both those situations together led me to have a exhausting day and one night, I started feeling dizzy from all the worrying and health issues, I was feeling weird so I searched the symptoms up on google and heart attack came up and I was instantly triggered lol

I had my legs shaking on and off for hours that night lol and to make things worse, I didn't know what that shaking was. So I was convinced that I really was having a heart attack or something 😆 I didn't know what panic attacks were and had never even considered the idea of being anxious. The search results even said, that after symptoms of heart attack, it could occur after few days too and I was on high alert lol

This sounds ridiculously funny to share now but it was a very major problem for me three years back 😆 Anyway, after a crazy amount of searching on the internet, I came to the conclusion that this was anxiety. But that conclusion triggered me too because I only read bad things about it online and started worrying if it meant I already have a disorder within a few days. I was worrying about everything going on because I didn't understand what was going on lol

After that, I caught COVID and lost my sense of smell/taste and read articles about how some people didn't get it back and that triggered me so bad. My family caught COVID too but no one had that symptom so it was scary. It took me about 20 days something for the sense to come back and until it did, I would experience that shaking of legs at night every single night. I would even wake up around the same time every night due to the worries and anxiety and had so bad sleep. I mean, I was worried about the smell/taste thing and I was also worried about the panic attacks.

Right from the first time I experienced a panic attack till the time my sense of smell and taste came back, it was a period of a little over a month. And for that whole period, I was so anxious and just a whole different person. I was constantly just googling and reading stuff about my symptoms and watched a whole lot of videos about anxiety and related stuff.

But in those videos and redit forums, the people were talking about ALL the negative experiences. They talked about stuff I didn't know about like de-personalization, panic/anxiety attacks, and whole lot other stuff that they had struggled with or were struggling with. I didn't know any of that but somehow my mind ended up coming to the conclusion that when or if you have anxiety, it means you'll have all those symptoms those people were talking about.

Basically I had it all backwards. I thought if I had anxiety, I'll get all those symptoms too. So I completely rejected the idea and told myself "this is just stress and overthinking" I kept convincing myself "it wasn't anxiety and just too much stress" or something like that.

After my sense of smell/taste came back, I forgot all about it and just moved on as if nothing had happened but I did sort of develop health anxiety after that. Because I already had health issues, there was the whole pandemic situation going around and things like oxygen shortages in people and my COVID symptoms- all of them led to me overthinking any minor health change and googling it.

Anytime I had any change in health, I would google and read articles and forums what it meant, etc. But I got over it. Then again, around December that same year, I started experiencing jaw pain all of a sudden and the googling habit came back. Somehow all that searching led me to read something about fibromyalgia (serious chronic pain condition) and I was convinced I was developing that. Again, I was VERY conscious of anytime any part of my body ached or hurt even a little. And since I was so focused on it, I noticed all the minor aches and pains that we usually ignore. I was so worried about the chronic pain thing. Then I read that anxiety might make you feel more pain too and I was triggered again. I thought maybe this was anxiety and it might lead to me developing chronic pain. Until my doctor said I was deficient in vitamin d so maybe the pain is from that. I was relieved and started taking supplements and forgot about the worries again. I wasn't until early February 2021 that I realised I was actually having a wisdom tooth lol 😆

Now all this on and off worrying and extensive google searching about any health problem and about anxiety symptoms, etc. lasted from August 2020 to early February 2021. I mean, I had months in between when I didn't think or worry about anything but also months where I was obsessively worrying.

I had some other things related to health that I worried about too but it'll get too long if I mention it all. But that whole period was crazy.

After that, by end of February, somehow, I came to realise that every health problem that I had worried about had turned out to be nothing but a false alarm. I realised that it wasn't any problem and I was just focusing too much on normal health issues and worrying about it. So I decided to stop googling anything related to health at all. What I decided was if I did notice any pain or health problem, I would give it three to five days and if it still persist only then would I think of visiting a doctor or searching for relief online. And it worked and I completely got over any worrying after that. But I also convinced myself all of that wasn't anxiety at all but just some stress which was wrong of course but since I had gotten over the unhealthy behaviours, I stopped thinking about anything related to that completely.

About the aches and pains, I also came to the conclusion that it wasn't anxiety that was making me feel pain in random parts of my body but that almost all times, the minor aches and pains were already there. But I also realised that it's the same for everyone, every person feels aches and pains here and there but it's just we usually don't focus on it so we don't realise it until it hurts enough to notice. But since I was so focused on it, I was noticing every minute ache/pain in my body that we usually don't even notice. I realised the aches and pains were not something new that I was developing due to some condition or due to anxiety, but rather it's something that is always there and it's the same for everyone. We just don't notice those until we really tune into our bodies and focus on it. And This is something I still believe as well!

Anyway, so I was doing great again until August 2021 when it was raining one night and I suddenly remembered all the worrying and panic attacks and the whole depressed state I was in that same time a year ago. After remembering it, I was so scared of it coming back that I ended up having a panic attack again. And since I had not accepted that it was anxiety, and I didn't have any ideas on how to combat those thoughts, I didn't know what was going on. I was remembering all those youtube videos about anxiety and what people had said and all those posts from those forums and stuff. Remembering all that negativity mad eme remember a post about one person talking about how they had enough and wanted to die or something and remembering that post triggered me so bad.

I decided to go for therapy since I had some savings around that time! In my first week of therapy, I remembered many random negative posts I had read on those forums and that one particular post made me think of the word "death" and I was SO triggered. I didn't know where it came from and so it got stuck. I made the mistake of googling it (I hadn't googled anything in a long time) and all kinds of stuff about intrusive thoughts and OCD came up which further triggered me because again, I started worrying if i was developing intrusive thoughts or OCD or something like that. Searching it up was a mistake because it led me to about a month or two of more and more worries popping and up and a cycle of reading those forums and watching those youtube videos again.

Of course, this time I had a therapist so she helped me understand how those habits were bad and asked me to let go of it. Around end of September 2021, I stopped searching stuff again but I was still worried about intrusive thoughts and OCD though. I would worry if any random habit of mine was a compulsion or not and what I would do if I started having intrusive thoughts too, etc.

I read about ALL kinds of intrusive thoughts people with OCD had or worried about and ended up somehow just subconsciously making it a problem for myself.

What I had concluded again was if I had OCD then I would have intrusive thoughts. I again had it the other way around basically. That's why I developed a fear of OCD and similar disorders because I thought if I had them then it would mean that I would have intrusive thoughts all my life too.

But I would tell purposely imagine all those thoughts/images I read people talk about and realise "oh I'm not bothered by these thoughts/images though" so I thought maybe those intrusive thoughts didn't affect me like that. I was following some mental health positivity pages here on this site and I did ask one or two of them about intrusive thoughts even though I wasn't particularly bothered.

Around that time, since those people on the mental health pages were so nice, I started feeling guilty for asking them. That led me to spiral about the whole thing with mistakes and guilt. I would remember any mistake or bad thing I did in the past and start worrying what I should do about it. I felt like if I didn't do anything about it, I would keep feeling guilty. I thought maybe I should then apologise or tell the people involved about whatever I did, but apologising for every small thing from the past was practically impossible. I remembered any random thing I did that could induce guilt and/or shame and start overthinking about what I should do about it now. I started worrying if this meant I no longer deserved happiness, peace, healing and anything good. I started worrying if i didn't deserve to hear anything good from others. I started thinking in a negative way about myself like if someone was nice to me, I would think "if only they knew the things I did, they wouldn't say this or wouldn't want to be associated with me"

And my therapist told me this was just anxiety making me think like that. I didn't "have" to do anything about all those mistakes and that I could move on without doing anything too, that I didn't have to feel guilty about things since I was still just young and was overthinking. But still I had many worries and was anxious, I was worrying about the mistakes thing and about the intrusive thoughts and OCD too. But therapy was helping me stay positive.

This was also the time when I found you on here! I can't explain how much you and your page helped me understanding so many things too. I'm always grateful 💗

I stopped therapy in January 2022 and soon got the news that lockdown was completely ending and university was starting up again  with physical classes instead of online. So I was happy that I would finally start going out. And as I started going out again, I started seeing how trivial my worries were. I saw everyone around me made mistakes and experienced things like me but maybe they just didn't overthink too much so I decided to do that too!

I moved on with my life and was doing so good. Around the end of June 2022, I had vacations and did experience a setback where I started worrying about the mistakes again and you helped me with it too and by this time, I had better healthier thinking patterns. About a month or so of worrying, I decided to move on again as University was starting again in August 2022 and university started and again, I got over the worries.

Throughout 2022 and first half of 2023, I did have those worries about mistakes and guilt come up here and there sometimes but it was very minor so I was doing great and living life and having fun. I saw how everyone made mistakes but people didn't stay stuck on those so I decided to do that and was doing great.

But at the same time, since I was overthinking and worrying about the same topic (mistakes) every now and then, so I got comfortable with dealing with those worries. Because I knew "this worry is the same as always" so I knew I could leave it behind.

It was around last week of June this year (last month I mean), all those worries started coming back and while in the last one and a half year, I was dealing with the mistakes thing very good but I didn't think much about the intrusive thought worry. So when that worry came up around the end of last month, I was ended up getting into that overthinking and worrying cycle again.

And since unlike the past year and a half where most of my intrusive thoughts would be what ifs about my mistakes and guilt, this time, the topic completely changed to intrusive images and associations and other old worries that I thought didn't affect me at all or that I thought I had gotten over.

Of course, now I have much better and healthier thinking patterns and I know I won't lose them or forget them. I also know that intrusive thoughts is something everyone has and associations is something everyone has too. I also know I ended up worrying about them because I had read all those posts two years back.

However, I don't have any of those negative thinking and behaviour patterns from two/three years back now. I never search things up, don't read any forums and watch videos. I share this with you and I know that I can share it with my sister too! Maybe if needed, after some months, when I get a job, I'll try therapy again too. I'm trying my best to look at the positive side and think more rationally!

I'm sorry for writing SO MUCH, I just thought I should share this because it helps me explain my other worries more clearly too. That said, I'm still sorry for writing too much. I'm also thankful to you for being here as well! I know I always say this but it's because I always mean it 💗

Hey Anon,

That's so great that you seem to be getting the hang of it and that you're starting to get a handle of how it works and even what to anticipate. It's true that you'll never know what your worry/worries of the week will be, but even that shouldn't be a reason to worry. The whole goal of dealing with anxiety is being able and ready to handle anything that comes your way because you will never not have some sort of anxious thought pop up to try and take you over. The idea is to make sure you conquer these thoughts before they conquer you ;)

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. That's awful and I can totally understand how unfair it feels to lose good people so soon. Loss can definitely trigger a lot in people, especially when it's something you haven't really experienced before, or at least with someone so close. I know I used to obsess over the deaths of kids who went to my high school or even people who were my age at the time. It's so sad to know that their lives were ended so quickly and you get to continue on with your life.

Covid was a scary time for most people, so I can totally understand what you were going through. I lost my sense of smell/taste too so I went to those reddit forums to see how long it took others to get it back lol. But I know my limit with these forums because I was like you and would spend countless hours on end just reading other people's experiences, but a majority of them are negative because people with more positive experiences or mindsets don't typically spend their time on these forums. So that's why I say it's very easy to be triggered or have your anxious thoughts enabled because you're around people who are stuck in unhelpful thinking patterns and negativity biases. I've also noticed that a lot of people will convince themselves that they have something that they really don't because they may have a few symptoms of something, but not the others, but they also almost unconsciously try and make themselves have those symptoms so they can fit themselves into the boxes better. It's not helpful at the end of the day for someone who is trying to look for something comforting as opposed to something that will only make you feel worse.

Anon, you make me want to cry. You've come such a long way and you're doing amazing! Never feel guilty for wanting to share what you want to share. Thank you for sticking around with me as I try my best to communicate with you all the things I hope that helps you. I'm grateful for you as well and knowing that I can help others the same way I wished someone helped me. I appreciate you

[black-rosewolf66]

So here we are post second of my shity life posts if you arent curious just scroll past it…and if you are with a high emphaty im sure you may not want to read this so believe me dont read it^^

So after she told me a bunch of amazing compliments about how i should just go fuck a bunch of guy until im old and then come back to bdsm i was surprised she seemed calmer..i never thought she had some mental issues too and i was the one getting scolded for having any issues in life…

The sarcasm of life she then tells me she had panic attack in the pasts and insomnia too and she still has because the two hour sleep she has cant be called sleeping at all…

Now we calm down she starts to chat on her phone make phone calls i on the other hand watch the sunset, smoke some cigarette,drink the tea i brought with myself…

Then the children arrives with her father we greet them…i start to wish i could just vanish as im an outsider and im clearly someone she wouldnt have pictured in his fathers home…

But we had a fun time she was drinking with us i could finally speak with someone i thinked she liked me because at the and she was really drunk but she sayed goodbye to me at least three times…and she tried to protect me from her parents who where drunk as well…well it was funny watching another household fight and then trying to reconcile than have fun and then being drunk as i was the only one not offered alcohol (what i dont mind at all) ohh well it was cute she gave me a gulp from her vodka when i mentioned i only drink homemade wine…😂and when she saw me smoke she offered a couple of her cigaretts and after her last goodbye she said i should smoke a cigarette for her too because as we all know she wouldnt smoke for a few days for sure because of her parents😂

Well i had fun until she went home but that was the best decision she was drunk and she shouldnt have been there in the first place anyway…so they walked her home and i stayed behind in the house for a few minutes then they arrived and there we were the akward silence…the usual they speak i look around sometimes they ask me things but i cant answer them so they just make fun of me…but well i cant say it out loud that i was laughing at him tripping over his legs because he was drunk and i found this new side of him cute…he is my dominant and we are kinda in a role already…and i knew it would have been ridiculed by her only…

But then i started to have a headache…i walked to my bag because i remembered that i have a pill there for it because i get headahces a lot now that my glasses broke a month ago or so…but as i was about to take one i hear him call me i answer that im near my bag he asks me to go there so i drop whats in my hand and walk there as i get in their sight he commands me to crawl not walk so i do as he says i drop on my knees and begin crawling towards them…i stop when im only a meter away from them as usually because i dont like breaking the personal space before asking non verbally…but he asks me to come closer i confusedly walk in closer but i dont like the tension there i started to have a bad feeling…she comands me to suck him…well im confused as i already said to him that im not good with giving head and i want that to be respected….but regardless i do as she says because i know im under her if we are playing and she was clearly the most dominant in that room at that time…then they start to verbally fight about me about why i have this relationship with him what did he think when he wanted this…i stopped and looked at them concerned at why are they fighting and how its not the correct time and not the correct way…but then she firmly commands me to continue i look at him if he wants it and then he asks me to as who asked me to stop so i give in and continue…i try to please him as much as i can so atleast he wont suffer that much or i dont know what i was thinking i knew this was the only think i could do for him because i would never jump in an argument, never,be it whoever they want even if i love that human…but then she starts to verbally dagrade me…saying that whats this shitty child the thing he wanted he wanted someone to play with not this damaged thing…she almost say slut at me so she even stuttered at her words…thats when i stopped i felt like throwing up i felt like i was stupid for being there what the hack was i doing there when i should clearly escape the situation i should express my gratitude in leaving them or defending him not with sucking him off like as i was told to do…i am a human too and i have my own limits too and being verbally degraded by a someone who doesnt even know me is one of it…its a huge fucking hard limit so when she commands me shrieking with anger to continue i refuse i say the firmest no i could in that moment…i was trembling as i was feeling dominated and i had internal fights with my own submissive self…then she grabs me by the hair..on top of my head not in a gentle and professional way( like you know the whole hair from the bottom so you dont suffer damage) nah just what she could grab with her fist and her nails…forcing my head on it,him geting defensive too as he was grabed by the dick and forced into my mouth as i didnt want to bite him or harm him i let her do it and when i felt her releasing me i jumped back and yelled her name…mortified because he knew i was…well you know…forced to do it before too and i had a pretty bad memory from it…like it….it damaged me…so you know…it was a soft limit of mine because i know i could get over with it if we take measures for a panick attack and if he keeps me calm…well anyway as i yelled her name she snapped back from that angry self. she looked mortified too maybe she realised too what she did i dont know..dont know what they spoke about me..if he mentioned this or not…as they were the one negotiating the scenes so far and last time i backed away before having anything like this happen…so yeah i was looking at a tiny damaged part of the wall trying to get myself together not having an attack as they continued to fight and then stayed silent then we went to bed…she disappears on the early mornings as usually and the next morning just the two of us was better…much much better…im still in a shock of what happened…but i know for sure i have to speak with him about never leting myself dominated by anyone else because i wont trust them anymore if he is the only one negotiating…but im still worried and still in shock…im confused…again

[gentrychild]

the au ask: uh, not sure how this works, but, let's say an au where the slime incident never happens?

Anon, no! I have about five AUs for that! You could at least tell me if you want it to be angst or crack!

More seriously, it's such a fun prompt because it avoids All Might telling Izuku he can't be a hero without a quirk, which is the start of so many vigilante/villain/quirkless Izukus.

But since I am a benevolent writer, I will not talk about the AU where Tsuyu and Mineta dies, then Iida, then Kota, then Mirio, Eri isn't saved, and so on.

Okay, it got really long so it's under a Read More.

All Might arrests the Slime villain before he gets in the sewers so neither Izuku nor Bakugou are attacked by him. The problem is that it also means that All Might never meets Izuku, never break his little heart, and Izuku never has the chance to prove his worth to All Might so no OFA.

Life goes on. Izuku still wants to become a hero. However, since his homeroom teacher told his entire class that he wanted to go to UA, his entire class, led by Bakugou, has decided to make his life a living hell over it. Constant taunting and people laughing at him.

It takes its toll on him.

He still doesn't doubt that a quirkless hero can exist but the more days, weeks, months pass, the more he keeps thinking of how easier it would be if he had a quirk.

A dangerous thought. One he usually doesn't allow himself to think because why whine about what is impossible to have? But one boy can only take "What a useless quirkless Deku like you do?" before he starts to get haunted by strange thoughts. Cough... urges... Cough.

It also makes him eager to prove himself. Maybe that's why he intervenes that evening when he sees a villain trying to hurt someone. Except that once the civilian he helped is running to call a hero, he is reminded that he is a smol child made of only skin and bones and that the guy in front of him is about to bash his head in.

He tries to protect himself, his hand grabbing the villain by the head and in this moment, as he is sure that he is about to be killed, he thinks the one selfish thought that he ever thought:

"It's unfair... that this quirk belongs to someone like you... instead of me."

And just like that, Izuku takes a quirk for the first time.

The villain runs in terror and Izuku runs (in the other direction) in confusion. Soon, it's pretty clear that he apparently had the ability to take and give quirks (thank you, Mom, who has volunteered to try the villain's quirk. Though it's strange how she keeps trying to call someone on her phone these days. But it's probably not important.) Which is a very cool quirk.

Izuku now has to pass from "No quirk at all" to "Can have whatever quirk he wants", which is quite dizzying.

He is so fired up for the UA exam, five months from then. Ridiculously happy bean.

Meanwhile, Mirio gets OFA because no successor showed the self sacrificial spirit that could have inspired All Might and both GT and Nighteye kinda pressures him into choosing a successor ASAP.

This has disastrous consequences as OFA is way too powerful for Mirio and starts to put an insane strain on his body. One month later, while fighting a villain (he has his hero license), he collapses on the side of the road, black lines all over his body as the quirk is killing him.

Izuku finds him and calls an ambulance ASAP but Mirio is is really bad shape. He asks him what happened and Mirio, half delirious, tells him that his quirk is killing him.

Izuku is very "????" but he can help! He can take the quirk away! But Lemillion would be quirkless! He can't take this decision! But Mirio can so he asks.

Mirio is half conscious. Completely in pain. He didn't even want that quirk. He likes Permeation. So, half delirious as he was, he might have mumbled something like "Take that thing out of me."

Izuku does, realizes that Mirio has two quirks so he leaves him the one that doesn't feel as heavy as a freaking dwarf star. Lemillion immediately starts to stop looking like he will drop dead any moment from now and the ambulance arrives, taking the hero student away.

Since Izuku doesn't have the All Might telling him that OFA is a good quirk, he acts like a sensible person: this quirk doesn't feel normal and it apparently kills its user. So he waits about 20 seconds before getting rid of it. He finds a nice and sturdy lizard, who, unbeknownst to everyone, becomes the 10th user of OFA.

The quirk comes back to Izuku.

Quirks aren't supposed to do that.

The freaking quirk is cursed. Izuku accepted a cursed quirk.

I cannot begin to describe how Izuku doesn't trust OFA in this AU. He doesn't use it. He intensively dislikes it. He tries everything and more to get rid of it but no matter what living organism he selects, the damn thing keeps coming back.

Meanwhile, Mirio wakes up from the hospital alive :) then remembers he gave a host-killing-quirk to a smol child. O.O

Panic ensues.

All Might realizes that whoever took OFA put his hand on Mirio's head, the same way AFO does. So it was probably AFO with a fun new shapeshifting quirk.

More panic ensues.

Meanwhile, AFO, alive indeed and who has been watching Mirio wastes away and enjoying the hell out of it (though he would have preferred it had happened one generation sooner) is furious that Yagi 2.0 isn't dying anymore because it means OFA passed to someone else! And since everyone in the OFAteam is quite panicked, they apparently lost the quirk he gave his little brother!

He gets so upset about it that he somehow misses the hundred of phonecalls from his wife.

So AFO and All Might alike are looking for someone with OFA but since Izuku just isn't using it, they aren't finding it.

Meanwhile, the Vestiges went from "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, SOMEONE WITH AFO!!!! AHHHHHH!" to "What do you mean: You don't want to use us? We're not good enough for you???"

So OFA is doing the quirk equivalent of a cat purring and showing its belly so it can get some pet.

Izuku: "You know what? I know it's a trap but since I don't want to outright call a quirk evil, I will give you one chance to prove to me you're not a cursed power that wants my death."

Cue two broken legs.

Well, that's it. Izuku gave that nasty quirk the benefit of the doubt. He is never using it again. And since the damn thing is trying to contaminate his other quirks, he is vaulting it forever!

The irony is not lost on First.

The day of the entrance exam arrives and Izuku does quite well with his good, non cursed quirks, thank you very much.

And as he is leaving, he sees Lemillion! He is happy to see him in good health! He waves at him!

Meanwhile, Mirio spent the last five months trying to find that awful quirk he lost. He was half convinced he had given him to the Symbol of Evil and had trouble seeing the problem because if OFA would eat AFO, where was the problem? He is wondering if he condemned a kid to death. He Is Going Through A Lot.

He wants to say so many things, ask so many questions. And the one thing he manages to blurt out is "GET HIM!"

Tamaki and Nejire immediately shoulder slam a small child. They didn't even hesitate.

That's the story of how the Mighty team found OFA again.

Izuku loves hanging out with All Might but not even him can convince him that the quirk isn't cursed.

[phoenixyfriend]

Commander Buir

Follow-up to this post. Not in any particular order, just spitballing ideas, with contributions from several friends on discord.

Like presumably it takes long enough for them all to meet up again that Anakin and Cody do, in fact, end up treating each other like family, just so I can have that good good "well, guess I'm Dad now" energy. Shmi isn't entirely sure what's going on but she's not a slave anymore and her kid seems to like this rando mando, so.

Anakin gets to have a mom and two dads, though one of the dads is arguably younger than him.

Also when they all meet up again and Cody explains the "General Skywalker got shrunk" thing, there are three reactions: (General) Obi-Wan: Oh, Anakin. Obi-Wan: [gestures to take him, ends up with an armful of clingy padatoddler] Anakin: You can't blame this on me, Obi. Obi-Wan, a little teary, because babies cause emotions: Of course I can, you absurd human being. ------ Rex: That's... my general. Anakin: I am, Captain. Rex: Cool cool cool I'm gonna go stand where I can't, uh, break you. Anakin: I'm not THAT fragile! ------ Ahsoka: [gasp] Skyguy is SKYKID! Anakin: Padawan, this is-- Ahsoka, grabbing him and cuddling: Oh my goodness you're adorable this is the best day ever. Anakin: This is humiliating, Snips, put me down. Ahsoka: Never.

Anakin hates being a toddler because of the lack of independence but Cody keeps picking him up when he's cranky and just holding him until he falls asleep and that's... nice.......

- The brain limitations aren't quite as bad as the situation with Sokanth and Ylliben in the other AU, but - Even if his brain is mostly adjusted he’s still got a tiny body with different needs that he’s not used to. Like, he needs to sleep more but he’s got more energy than usual when he’s awake and it’s all weird.

Cody carrying around toddler Anakin like "God you give me ulcers but you're adorable, you little shit."

Inconveniently tiny body aside, Anakin has a pretty great time in this au. His family are all together and safe and within reach. His wife isn't around, but toddler brain means he doesn't have the Romance Drive, so that's not as bad as it could be It could be significantly worse.

@atagotiak asked: Does Anakin get annoyed about being called cute? - To which I say, He bites the first few times but Shmi tells him that's Naughty so he stops. - Babies are cute so you packbond with them before they’re annoying, Anakin is cute as a self defense mechanism - He’s extra annoying so he needs to be extra cute

You know how you need to keep an eye on toddlers so they don't, like, fall down the stairs or put something toxic in their mouth? - They need to keep an eye on Anakin specifically so he doesn't rewire the ship they're in while they're in hyperspace. - He has less self control on account of being smol. He still has all the mechanical knowledge! Just less comprehension of y’know, consequences.

Anakin, with a sippy cup: This is demeaning. Ahsoka: Your hands don't work great enough to avoid accidents yet. Anakin: It's still embarrassing.

General Kenobi can't just kill Maul, not when Maul is baby right now (sixteen, which is baby enough) so he just. Kinda. Kidnaps a baby Sith. (It's fine. He's fine.)

General Kenobi (not to be confused with Padawan Kenobi) decides to declare Maul his new padawan because someone has to deal with this teenager, and Plo already claimed the rest of Ahsoka's training. And Anakin's three, so.

"What do we do with Maul?" "Eh, I can handle him. I dealt with teenage Anakin getting arrested for illegal pod-racing twice a month, I can work with this."

Maul bites, but only slightly more often than Anakin, it's fine

Ahsoka definitely bullies Maul whenever possible

Consider: Rex holding very still because Anakin wanted to be tall, so he climbed Rex. Being unexpectedly climbed is better than being unexpectedly yeeted. It's still extremely nerve-wracking. - Cody is perfectly capable of running around with a backpacking toddler General, but Rex freezes like a statue. - Ahsoka finds this hilarious

You know how little kids like to be thrown around and swung in circles and stuff like that? This must get even more ridiculous with force users. Can throw a child real high and catch them safely. - Rex panics whenever Ahsoka throws her chibified Master

Literally everyone except Rex loves being yeeted. Even Maul can appreciate a good tactical yeet no shut up he's not having fun this is TRAINING - Rex is Suffering - Cody, a very Tired Dad, deserves to mock his vod'ika a little, as stress relief - Rex, a certified Little Brother, shoves Cody off something tall. Jokes on him, Cody thinks freefall is fun too.

Tia asked: So the people who didn’t exist yet got flung bodily back in time and Anakin did the mental time travel. Why did Obi-Wan not become Padawan Kenobi? (I mean “because I want it that way” is def a good enough answer I’m just wondering if there’s any reason.) - Which, well, it really was mostly "I want to" but here's two options, both of which come down to Blame Daughter and Father. 1. They figured a responsible adult Jedi Master was needed to convince people. 2. Nobody was supposed to get de-aged but Daughter figured they needed to make Anakin less liable to kill things for a few years. - Also IDK the Force God-Manifestations also took away any risk of rapid aging and early death from the clones because uhhhhhhhhhhh I said so

Rex and Ahsoka are fumbling their way through a relationship where ages are just really confusing and awkward, so they're keeping it to just kisses and cuddles for a bit.

Cody is so tired he doesn't even realize anyone's hitting on him until it's been three years of co-parenting with Shmi and his General. - Somehow Anakin knows Cody is in a relationship before Cody does. Cody has never been so embarrassed. - How did he manage to be less observant than Skywalker? -- it was sabotage; all his brain cells were taken up in managing said Skywalker -- Because Skywalker was up at three in the morning whacking a training droid with a stick so he didn't have the energy for Relationships

Also Shmi's come-ons are super subtle, while the General's are... well, Cody's gotten very used to ignoring anything ambiguous on that end because fraternization rules, and also because Obi-Wan flirts a lot with everyone. So.

Please imagine Cody and General Kenobi walking around with Anakin tucked into a toddler sling while they do whatever work they've ended up with at the Temple. - Yes, Cody is helping the Jedi figure out the best plan of attack to take down this slave ring because his grasp on tactics is phenomenal and he knows how to deploy people at greatest efficiency, but also he's got a nosy toddler on his hip who keeps offering his own insane-but-competent ideas. - General Kenobi ends up with a Council Seat just on account of, like, being the kind of person he is. As often as not, he's got Anakin tucked into his robes, chewing on the ear of a stuffed tooka or something.

IDK what Shmi's doing but apparently Legends had it that some of the administrative and support positions in the Temple were held by non-Jedi civilians? So probably something like that.

GENERAL KENOBI LECTURING PADAWAN MAUL WHILE ANAKIN'S BALANCED ON HIS HIP AND GLARING AT MAUL FOR STEALING HIS DAD

General Kenobi: Ahsoka's babysitting. Anakin: I'm her master, I don't need babysitting, this is-- General Kenobi: Fine, then you need supervision, so that you don't blow up a training salle again. Anakin: And you think Ahsoka would stop me? General Kenobi, eye twitching: Fine, I'm leaving you with Plo.

Even if he’s mentally an adult Anakin always needs supervision Look at canon! Anakin was left without supervision for like two days and he became a Sith

Quinlan gets distracted by how attractive General Kenobi is and tells Obi-Wan "dude, you're gonna be so hot once you can get rid of the stupid haircut" and Obi-Wan pushes him into the nearest pond.

They end up with this weird "Uncle Jango" situation (uncle to Anakin, via weird brotherhood-ish to Cody) because Rex and Cody are just like "Uhhhhhhhhh yeah okay" about him eventually, and Jango just like. Drops by. Trying to Earn Affection Of Blood Kin by bringing weird gifts for them and their (ugh) Jedi.

"Okay, Rex'ika, I stopped by Shili--" "What?" "--and apparently this is a delicacy there, so just... your girlfriend will like it." "She's not my girlfriend." "..." "Okay, I can't call her my girlfriend. Jedi have rules about that sort of thing, and--" "This will make your Jedi happy, probably. Just take it, kid."

Baby Anakin got his arm back but for some inexplicable reason still has The Eye Scar. He matches Buir.

[bangtae-sohotddaeng]

tripping on skies, sipping waterfalls | k.th.

pairing: art-student!taehyung x creative-writing-student!reader 

rating: m (18+)

genre: angst | smut | fluff | humor | college!au | established relationship!au

summary: One drink too many at Hoseok’s Halloween party, and you’ve blanked out on the entire night that followed. Now, who’s gonna fill you in when Taehyung looks one second away from breaking into tears when you bring it up with him? From running across the university campus in remnants of your vampire outfit, to dealing with your downtrodden boyfriend’s disappointed stares - you’re left with one hell of a day, and zero recollections.

warnings: swearing + talks of alcohol (literally the whole tHEME of the story) + casual use of the word “amnesia” by careless college students + sexual situations (nudity, semi-public sexual acts, really explicit makeout sessions, dry-humping, lil bit breast play, lil dirty talking, fingering) + love bites galore.

word count: 19.2 k

note: so. issa a humongous beast, i know. i literally cannot fathom how i wrote these many words without posting anything in between. also, believe it or not, i fleshed out the plot for this fic all the way back in June, 2019. it's taken me nearly two years and a HELL LOTTA editing to the basic storyline to finally be able to finish this off. also, i extended this AU to include all the boys, so...kinda had to rope in their stories, too, lol. hope you enjoy this while i go slave off on the rest of the six fics~ 🥺💜

💟 YOUTH – 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

— masterlist

— feedback is always appreciated!

A knock sounded, seemingly coming from the end of a miles long tunnel. You groaned, pursing your lips against the pounding that echoed in your head in response.

Gosh, what was this? Why was your mind so freaking foggy? What did you do last n—

"Angel? Are you in there with hyung?"

You wrinkled your nose, always hating how your boyfriend's entire group of friends had taken to address you by the pet name he gave you—to the limit where you legitimately didn't always remember that "angel" wasn't your name. They said it was somewhat of a "norm" in their group that came into practice when Jin forbade them all from saying his girl's name. Or getting too friendly by calling her “noona” in a really creepy way.

You'd had eight months' experience of this idiocy now, but that didn't make you cringe any less whenever you heard the address.

You tried swallowing past the sand in your mouth, eyebrows wrinkling as you willed your brain to interpret what the voice said beyond your "name."

And then it registered.

In there? With hyung? 

What the hell?

"What? No, hyung, I can’t just rattle the knob to check—what? I might have heard some... wait. Why? What? No! Noona is—no, she's an adult, I'm sure she can make her own decisions! I’m not going to—I'm disconnecting the call, Namjoon-ssi, this is so uncomfortable!"

Your eyes fluttered open in pitch black darkness. 

Namjoon-ssi? Who was referring to your dumbheaded best friend with such respect?

Wait, wait, wait.

…noona?

Only one person called you…

"Jungkook?" you muttered, wincing at how horrible you sounded.

Releasing a deep breath, you came to the conclusion that you were dealing with a hangover. A really, really bad hangover, because your recollection of how you got to this point was nil.

Blinking, you opened your eyes wider, looking around in an attempt to catch bearings of where you were, because the overwhelming heat wrapped around your body definitely didn't remind you of your cold ass dorm room.

You squirmed, attempting to stick your feet out of the warm covers that seemed to be stifling you whole, specifically your legs and your midsection.

"Nuuuu~nghhh…"

You froze.

What the—?

The voice—well, more of a groan that you couldn't really comprehend—had come from somewhere near your rib cage. 

You pulled your arms down from where they were rested under your pillow, wincing at the soreness that'd taken residence in them. With slight shaky fingers, you reached over to where you hoped the nightstand would be. To your luck, your fingers brushed over a smooth table top before bumping into what felt like a button that could belong to a bedside lamp.

Swallowing the cotton wool lodged in your throat, you pressed down with your index and middle fingers, immediately hissing in discomfort when blinding light burned your corneas.

"Whaaa~nuuuuu…"

Something soft brushed against the underside of your boobs. Your eyes immediately snapped open wide, disregarding the killer headache that ensued. Your heart was pounding hard, fear climbing up your windpipe as you looked down.

Your naked boobs greeted your line of vision, followed by a mop of black hair.

You heaved in a huge gulp of air.

No. 

No, no, no, no, this couldn't—

Was this—

Did you—

Were you naked?

You didn't realise when your eyes had squeezed shut, but they fluttered open when a contented hum echoed around you, a small gust of warm breath brushing against your stomach.

"Uh…" You wanted to say something to the fluffy, dark hair moving around over your abdomen, but you were at a loss. 

Why was he lying over your naked body? God, was he naked, too?

What the heck had happened last night?

"Whoa." The fluffball on your abdomen moved completely, and a pair of round, pretty eyes connected with yours past your bared breasts. "What a beautiful sight to wake up to. Good morning, baby."

You involuntarily shivered at your boyfriend's gravelly morning voice. The damn pitch that was deeper than the ocean on the regular, tended to penetrate the layers of the earth itself when he woke up.

But…

Oh, God. You had only ever seen him topless. And only seen, not even touched. Or more. So, waking up to being topless and under him was making your heart beat out of your chest, and your body burn with sparks, all over.

"Um, Tae…"

"Hmm?" Plump lips connected to your skin, dragging over the sides of your breasts.

Your breathing was immediately unsteady even when your eyes widened in alarm. "T—Tae, wait…" You swallowed thickly when he climbed up your body and set his hands on the bed next to your pillow, his face hovering inches above yours.

You breathed in, preparing to speak past the bundle of nerves in your throat, and—froze. 

A corner of your lips twitched.

His eyes were surrounded by huge pools of black, that you could now recall was eyeliner that you'd meticulously applied on him, last evening. The bright red lipstick he'd gone for in order to finish off his vampire look, was now smudged all the way down to his chin. 

Despite the killer throbbing in your head and your panic at your state of undress, you couldn't hold back a fit of laughter at the sight. "Tae, baby—your makeup…" You managed to mumble between bouts of uncontrollable giggles.

Taehyung just grinned at you, shaking his head in silent humor. "As if you're any better. Ooh, look at this!" His eyes suddenly widened, focusing on your neck. "Your neck looks like you got attacked by a vampire, baby."

You smacked his chest with a harrumph, ignoring the warm, firm feel of it, rolling your eyes when he broke into laughter. "Pretty sure you were the one that did it, smartass."

"Well. I don't see a problem with it. We were supposed to be vampire mates, after all." Flashing you a smirk that would've been a lot more irresistible to you if it weren't for all the smudged lipstick on his face, Taehyung rolled off your body to sit at the edge of the bed. "This headache, though… ugh…" He groaned, massaging his forehead with a hand. "How much did we have to drink, Angel?

You slowly sat up in bed, dragging the sheets to cover yourself all the way up to your neck. Your brows furrowed in concern. How much did you have to drink, for real? The way you couldn't seem to recall literally anything from the party last night was kind of a sign that it had gone beyond your limits.

Clearing your throat in nervousness, you lifted the edge of the sheet to take a peek at yourself, breathing a tiny sigh of relief on finding your panties still wrapped around your hips. So at least you hadn't gone all the way, right?

Right?

"Hey, Tae," you called out, stopping your boyfriend on his way to the bathroom. He was clad only in a pair of boxers that accentuated his plump butt, which was also a first time experience for you, but you figured that it was better than nothing. "We, uh, what did we do last night?"

Taehyung looked at you over his shoulder, brows slightly creased in confusion. "What? We went to Hobi hyung's Halloween party, baby, dressed as vampires. Hence the makeup…?"

You shook your head, gulping down your nerves. Taehyung had completely turned around to look at you, now, arms crossed against his bare chest. In spite of the ridiculously smudged makeup on his face, he made a damn appealing sight. You willed your gaze to not stray down to his sculpted thighs for the sake of your own sanity.

"Angel?"

"I—I mean...after," you mumbled with flaming cheeks. 

Your asshole of a boyfriend grinned wickedly at that, moving his hands to place them on his hips. "Uh huh. After, baby? What do you think?" He gave you an exaggerated wink.

You looked down at your fingernails, your entire body almost shivering out of nervousness and each one of your nerve endings inducing sparks all across your body. You were pretty sure you were blushing all the way from your ears, down to your chest.

Soft thumps of feet padding across the floor echoed around the room. You felt his warmth near you before his fingers tapped beneath your chin, prompting you to look up.

You did, eyes widened and breathing halted.

Taehyung's brows were lowered and lips pursed together as he looked at you with soft, concerned eyes. "Do you…do you not remember anything?"

The hesitation in his voice almost caused your heart to stop beating. Why was he being like this? Had the two of you actually done it, last night?

And…you didn't even remember anything?

"Angel?"

"Oh, God, Taehyung! Why do I not remember?" you suddenly cried out. 

"Hey, hey, baby, it's okay!"

What? No, it wasn't.

You'd had sex with your boyfriend for the first ever time after eight months of dating, four out of which you'd spent dreaming extremely lewd and inappropriate dreams about him, and now―and now you didn't remember it!

"I'll go take a shower, and then we can talk about last night. Okay, baby? Hey, look at me," Taehyung softly spoke to you, carding long, elegant fingers of one of his hands through your hair. He cupped your cheek with the other. "Don't worry, Angel, you're just hungover right now. I'm sure it'll all come back once your head's feeling better."

You swallowed thickly, kinda pissed at yourself for feeling so emotional about this, but kinda more pissed at your drunk self for doing the do with the love of your life when she knew she was too far gone to retain the memories.

"I love you, baby," said love of your life murmured to you, leaning in to peck your forehead softly.

"Love you too, baby," you mumbled back, watching, from the corner of your eye, as his shapely ass made its way down the room and into the bathroom.

You exhaled, loudly. Even though you loved him beyond measure and trusted him completely, you didn't wanna talk to Taehyung, right now. He remembered everything from last night, and the torn, hesitant, kinda hurt look in his eyes made you feel insecure and disadvantaged.

You knew you had to cure your hangover first, vent out about how dumb you felt, and have someone reassure you that forgetting about your first time with your boyfriend wasn't the end of the world, before having that conversation with Taehyung.

And you also knew how you were gonna accomplish that.

You needed your best friend.

You’d already pounded on the door like crazy twice by the time you first heard movement from inside. What the hell was Namjoon busy with now? Hadn't he called Jungkook up just a while earlier, causing the boy to wake you up?

It was one o'clock on a Sunday morning, anyway. There was no way someone like Namjoon was busy.

Wait. Hadn’t he been at the party last night, too? You couldn’t really recall, to be honest.

God, what was Hobi serving last night? 

Tapping your feet impatiently, you scratched at your cheek. The water base, super dry moisturiser you’d stolen from your boyfriend’s roommate was definitely not meant to suit your skin type. But you had no choice. You were in a crisis. You had needed to escape the dorm before Taehyung came out of the bathroom, and you couldn’t have exactly walked out with the remnants of last night’s vampire makeup all over your face.

You looked down at your ridiculous attire consisting of the leather shorts you wore last night, topped with a huge, off white sweatshirt you'd found lying over the living room couches. You guessed it was Taehyung's, but you were, embarrassingly, not completely certain and it very well could have been Jungkook's. Either way, it didn't really matter, ’cause, as mentioned before, you were in a freaking crisis. Your feet were wrapped up in the spare pair of bathroom slippers you kept at Tae's.

Exhaling loudly, you pulled up your arm to bang heavily against the damn door, again. "Where the fuck are you, Namjoon? Open up!"

Mere seconds later, grumbles seeped through the door to you, and then it was slowly unbolted.

You were gonna straight up fall into Namjoon and legit beg him to comfort you until your body melted—

"Well, hello there, sexy cheeks! What a pleasant surprise!"

You groaned aloud. Just what you needed to make this morning a bigger headache—your best friend's roadside romeo, can-never-keep-it-in-his-pants, creep of a roommate. "Jackson. Get the fuck out of my w—"

"And, FYI, I was referring to your ass cheeks."

You gritted your teeth. "Where's Joon?"

The cocky guy in front of you shifted to set his hips against the doorjamb. "Sleeping. He came in late, last night. That damned loser was at the party till two am on a Saturday night, and didn’t even bring a girl back home. What a fucking waste."

You squinted at him. "Bullshit. He called Jungkook earlier."

"Yeah, well, he went back to sleep after that. It's Sunday, sexy cheeks, even a nerd like Joon is allowed to sleep in today. He's been working his ass off at the library for a couple nights, anyway."

"Stop stereotyping him." You rolled your eyes. "Will you move?"

Jackson's silver blonde hair moved across his forehead as he tilted his head to look at you with a sly grin. "What if I refuse?"

"I'll stab you and walk over your body."

His eyes momentarily widened, but then he gave a nervous giggle. "O–oh? We won't want that to happen now, would we? Come on in, sexy cheeks!"

"Stop calling me that!" you snapped, walking into the dorm and heading straight towards Namjoon's bedroom.

"What? But that's my pet name for you! I don't wanna call you Angel like the rest of the fucking college!"

"It's just seven guys, Wang, jeez. Also, I actually have a name?" you yelled over your shoulder, fiddling with the awful door knob on Namjoon's bedroom door that was almost always jammed. Like it was right now. Good God!

"Your name? That's so mainstream, babe, have some respect for my vibe, at the very least."

"I'm not your babe!"

"But you could be!"

"I'll slap you, Jackson, shut the—" you broke off with a grunt as the doorknob finally twisted free. But your relief had a super short life, because then you had to nearly cause your shoulder to rupture when you tried to get the door to budge. "Why does this idiot not complain about getting this shitty fucking door changed? He'll get stuck in there someday and die, I'm telling you."

"Whoa. You're contemplating way too many murders for a Sunday morning, sexy cheeks. All okay?"

You shot him a glare over your shoulder. "You want me to actually commit one of them?"

Jackson's eyes widened and he slowly retracted his steps to the kitchen, where he presumably was before he came to open the door, given the apron he'd tied over his muscle tee and the random patches of white powder that covered his exposed upper arms. You rolled your eyes once again, and gave a particularly hard push to the door, making yourself stumble in as the door suddenly opened.

Namjoon stood on the other side, though, eyes barely open and silver blonde hair mussed. 

He was shirtless, in the process of trying to unwind a twisted up t-shirt. "Whoa, whoa—hol' up—when did I say you could come in?"

You paused. Your eyebrows lowered. Your eyes narrowed. The audacity?!

"I've seen you pantless, Namjoon," you deadpanned. 

"Wha—is that even a word—"

"Dude, I've seen your penis when it wasn't as big as my pinky toe!"

"Okay, hang on now, it's got to be at least the pinky finger—"

"We were four. It was the pinky toe." You exhaled when Namjoon gave up and went back to getting into a t-shirt over his plaid shorts. "Are you not looking at me, right now? Do you not see what kind of a wreck I am? What sort of a best friend are you?"

"Uh, a sleep deprived one? And, for the record, I actually am not looking at you, 'cause my eyes aren't exactly open and functioning at the moment, anyway."

You shot him a glare, but then exhaled and slumped down on his bed with your shoulders drooped. "I fucked up, Joonie."

Namjoon stopped in the process of blindly hunting for his glasses in the top drawer of his nightstand. He looked at you, complete with his swollen ass eyes and bee stung lips. You would have laughed if your own tragedy wasn't laughable in itself.

"Stop gawking!"

Namjoon shut his mouth and straightened up. "I, uh… You fucked up? Kinda hard to swallow. You're an inspiration to everyone, babe. Angel never fucks up."

You groaned a little upon hearing the wretched "pet name" tumble so smoothly from your best friend's lips. "Angel? Really, Joon?"

Namjoon shrugged, standing on his toes and extending his arms above his head in a full body stretch before he settled on the twin bed next to you. "I've got to, hun. You know how Jin hyung gets when he hears any of us call you anything but Angel."

"He's not here right now, though, is he?"

"Well, I'm trying to practice." He shrugged a shoulder. "So, are you here to pointlessly argue with me, or are you here to discuss how, exactly, did you fuck up? You were with Tae last night from what I gathered out of Jungkook's flustered half-sentences. Did something happen between you guys?"

"Yes?" You grimaced. And then you thickly swallowed. "I… I had sex with Taehyung.”

You looked at him when Namjoon had been silent for too long. He was blinking at you. "I don't see any fucking up happening, Angel, only fucking Tae."

Oh, how you'd slap him into the next galaxy if you had the energy at the moment. "Kim Namjoon, I swear to God—"

"Okay, okay, sorry. So. How does having sex with your boyfriend equate to fucking up? What'd I miss?"

You sighed. "I was completely hammered, and don't remember a single thing."

Namjoon's eyebrows rose very slowly. "Wait…what?"

You frowned. "Don't make me repeat it, Joon."

"I'm not, girl, but. Just. I—I don't seem to comprehend."

"I had sex with him for the first fucking time, Namjoon, and I don't remember a single detail! You know, I wanted to know how it all went down, how intense, sexy and gorgeous he looked on top of me. I wanted to save it to my memory. If he was on top. Otherwise, what he looked like when desperate and begging below me."

"Wait—"

"But I remember nothing! I'm so embarrassed, Joon! Maybe he put those gorgeous ass fingers of his to good use. I bet he did!"

"Hey—"

"I don't even know if he ate me out or if I sucked him off, because I would have loved to, before we—"

"Holy fuck, stop! I don’t wanna hear that, gross!" Namjoon pressed both his palms against his ears, his face pulled into an expression of utter disgust. His mouth opened, probably to give you a piece of scolding, but then his gaze dropped to your exposed collarbones and his eyebrows raised. He removed his hands with wide eyes. "Now, I don’t know about those dirty freaking details, and I don’t want to—but I can guess that your night was definitely passionate. Maybe a bit rough."

You frowned, following his line of sight—

And then sprung to your feet with a loud gasp. "Holy fucking shit! What the hell—"

"Whoa—"

You gripped the neckline of the hoodie and tugged it away from your chest. "He left bruises, Joon, these aren't just bites!"

"Wait, wait—"

"God damn—" You struggled to wrestle the hoodie off your body.

"No—"

"I need to fucking see, Joon—"

"But I don't!" Namjoon squeaked. 

You managed to remove the hoodie completely, your hands busy patting around your boobs to feel for bruises. You looked up at your best friend to find him turned away with both his palms pressed up against his eyes.

It took you a moment to realise that he was throwing a fit about you being topless in front of him. You exhaled. "Must I remind you that you've seen me pantless, too, Joon?"

"We were kids! And now we're not! I don't wanna pop a boner for my childhood best friend that I've shared poops with!"

You grimaced. "You won't, Joon. It's as you said—we've shared poops. It's physically impossible for us to get turned on by each other."

"I'm still a straight guy, though, and boobs are boobs."

You clicked your tongue, choosing to walk into his bathroom to, partially, save him from dying out of panic, but mostly analyse your upper body in the mirror. 

You hummed to yourself when you found a blossoming patch of pink right under your left boob, and an almost navy spot above your right nipple.

You fought a whimper of despair. Sex with Taehyung seemed like something that’d get you wet by memories alone. But you'd already missed your first chance to make them.

You grumpily stomped back to Namjoon's bed and collected the hoodie you'd tossed on it. Pulling it over, you smacked a turned away Namjoon upside his head. "I'm dressed, loser."

"Not wanting to see your boobs makes me a loser?"

"Making a big fucking deal out of it while I'm stuck in a very embarrassing and kind of an impossible situation does!"

“Oh my God, fine! Let’s just talk about that stupid, overthinking brain of yours.”

Your mouth falls open. “The fuck? I’m not overthinking, Joon, for the love of—”

“Okay! Just—stop with all the cursing, you sound like Yoongi hyung!” Namjoon pinched the bridge of his nose. “Let’s get the basics down, then. Observe, analyse and calculate. You’ll tell me about how you feel in certain...areas of your body, and then we’ll conclude if any sex even actually happened or if you’re fussing over nothing. ’Kay?”

You dumbly blinked. If any sex even actually happened? You didn’t need any testing for that, Taehyung’s face had been more than enough to tell you. “No?” you sneered at Namjoon. “I know it happened. I need to know how to recall the details. Do you know, like, some brain exercise or something? Like, running a mental disk defragmenter of sorts?”

Namjoon sighed. “Listen—”

“Also, can you please dye your hair and stop twinning with the asshole next door? I feel like I’m talking to him and it makes me wanna puke.”

Namjoon sighed again. “He’s gonna dye his hair to match mine like he always does, it’s pointless.”

“Then shave it off.”

“Ouch, woman.”

“What?” You scowled at him, rummaging through his wardrobe to try and make yourself slightly more presentable. “And get ready. We’re gonna go get some breakfast. Greasy and cheesy. And you’re gonna tell me what to do. And I’m calling Munchkin to join us.”

As you carried a pair of sweatpants into the bathroom, you heard your best friend murmur something like, “this is gonna be a long day.”

Taehyung sat sprawled all over the living room couch, barely looking up when Jungkook's room's door opened. His eyes kept digging holes into your phone that you'd left behind when you made your—very obviously hurried—exit while he was in the shower. Why, though?

Taehyung was fucking confuddled.

"Oh, finally!" Jungkook's surprised voice floated over to him moments before the boy himself rounded the couch to look down at him, entering his peripheral vision with a water bottle in hands. "Where's noona? Tell her to call Namjoon hyung, he rang me up…worrying…about her…um. Hyung? You okay?"

Taehyung blinked, raising his brows as he hummed in question, refocusing his gaze on the younger boy. "What?"

"Did you, uh, hear anything I said?" Jungkook looked at him cautiously, taking wary sips of water.

"Yeah, I heard." Taehyung looked down at his hands. "She's not here, she left."

"Left? On her own? You didn’t drop her off?" Jungkook sounded innocently curious. He chuckled. "You still hungover, or what?"

Taehyung sighed. "Well, no. But she didn't ask me to drop her. Didn't even tell me she was leaving. Also left her phone behind, for some reason."

"Maybe she was in a hurry to get away from you after last night?" Jungkook's eyes were wide in alarm even before Taehyung shot him a glare. "Sorry, I didn't… Um. That was a stupid joke, I don’t even know why I said that when I don't even know anything. Um. Sorry."

"No, you're probably right," Taehyung regretfully mumbled, raking a hand through his hair. "She was gone within five minutes."

"And is that why she stole my hoodie, too?"

Taehyung's head snapped up, again. What did he mean by that? He found Jungkook frowning at one of the armrests of the couch. "The fuck did you say?"

Jungkook's big, innocent eyes looked at him in panic. "I—I mean, I left it here after I spilt ketchup on it! Remember yesterday's lunch burgers? And now it's…well. Not here."

Taehyung rolled his eyes, secretly exhaling in relief, while at the same time annoyed at himself for thinking stupid shit. And also at Jungkook for making him think it. "The hell, Kook? How does that mean she took it?"

Jungkook squinted at him. "Okay, so then did you take it? Because I sure as heck didn't touch it, hyung."

Taehyung stilled, realising that the boy was probably right, because the top you'd worn last night was still lying on his bedroom floor. He bit his lip. Had you actually been in such a hurry to get away? Get away from him?

Did you…hate him for last night? But you'd very clearly reassured him that you wanted it and were ready and you looked actually excited about it. 

You’d looked really excited about it.

But maybe you were too sloshed to think then, but were trying to avoid him with your mind sober. Maybe you regretted agreeing.

Oh no. Oh no.

"We were drunk off our asses, last night," he tried to fruitlessly dissuade Jungkook, his voice coming out tight. Because what did it even matter if you'd already changed your mind? "Maybe your drunk ass used it to clean up your whizz and then threw it out your window and forgot?"

Jungkook's gaze turned even more speculative. 

Taehyung looked away, eyes landing back on your phone. Distress gripped him.

"Um."

Taehyung rolled his eyes. "Say it."

Jungkook cleared his throat, awkwardly scratching the back of his head when Taehyung looked up to meet his shifty eyes. "Did you, uh. Did you and noona have a fight?"

Taehyung slunk lower in his place. "No, but we would now."

Jungkook cleared his throat in response before soundly gulping down water.

Taehyung almost laughed at his discomfort. The younger probably felt Taehyung needed some sort of counseling or suggestions, but he really didn't. And it wasn't just because he and Jungkook were not the best of friends despite being roommates for nearly a year now and part of the same group of friends for nearly six. No, he actually did not want it because that would make him worry that much more. He'd rather talk to you—apologize to you and try to make you understand as much as he'd be able to—whenever you decided to contact him.

Not that Jungkook would be good at consoling him, either way—the boy was horrible with words and had zero tact. His world revolved around gaming and studying music and minimal human interaction, a complete contrast to everything Taehyung was. Which was somewhat of a reason why they worked out so well as roommates.

"Uh…we…um. Nevermind." Jungkook turned to leave.

Taehyung mustered a chuckle. "Say it, Kook." 

"Do you wanna go to Jin hyung's?" he spoke in a single breath.

Jin—the oldest in their group of friends and also the one Taehyung was the closest to—lived in a four bedroom apartment shared by Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin, and often, Jin's girlfriend, too, which was owned by a family member of Hoseok's. Namjoon, your best friend and the final member of the group, lived in a dorm on the other side of the campus, similar to Taehyung's own, with a school friend of his.

Now. Jungkook, being the youngest of the entire lot, was extremely insecure and conscious of himself around Jin. And so, despite nearly licking the very ground Yoongi walked on due to the guy's musical prowess that Jungkook was a fan of, the younger boy always tried to avoid visiting the house if not for extreme case scenarios when the entire group gathered there for activities that he was not allowed to skip. He usually just called Yoongi over.

And he was suggesting they visit? This had to have taken some guts.

Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him. "You wanna go to that house?"

"Well, not really." Jungkook's cheeks tinged pink. "But you look like you could use Jin hyung's advice and stuff. He also, um, makes yummy hot chocolate. Jimin hyung and Hobi hyung could cheer you up, and. Um. Yoongi hyung could help me with my…semester project?"

"And here I thought you were being thoughtful!" Taehyung let out a laugh. “You just want Yoongi hyung’s help, you selfish brat.”

Jungkook ducked his head. “A little bit of both?” He clicked his tongue, whining. "Come on, hyung, I'm trying here!"

"I know, I know." Taehyung rolled his eyes but nodded, ending Jungkook's misery.

He eyed your phone and released a shaking, nervous breath. 

“Well, I'm sort of driving myself nuts by sitting here. Let’s just go.”

“This is a disaster.”

You thumped your head against the table, groaning. “Gee, thanks, babe. Makes me feel so much better. I should’ve just gone back to the dorm. Wendy would’ve given me ice cream, at least.”

Your other only-best-friend-in-this-world—other than Namjoon, that is—rolled her mascara laden eyes. “It’s not my duty to make you feel better. I’m here to show you the mirror and be honest, not give you ice cream and kiss your boo-boos like your pussy roommate. That’s not helping. That’s ignoring the problem.”

“Fair point.” You sat up and looked down in your lap. “So. Do you honestly think I’m doomed?”

“I honestly think you’re stupid.”

You shot a glare at her.

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing! You yourself said you both had your lower regions covered, right?” At your nod, she clicked her tongue. “So you’re not even sure if you had sex, in the first place. And even if you did, so what? He’s your freaking boyfriend, bitch! Grab him and do the do whenever!”

“Will you tone it down?” 

You jumped. And then scoffed when Namjoon settled on the empty chair on your other side, putting the tray of your frothing, steaming beverages down between you three.

"Tell me why you nicknamed this one munchkin and not guerrilla, again?" Namjoon grumbled, scowling at your girl best friend. "She's got their lung capacity."

"Because she's got munchkin legs," you mumbled, hurriedly bringing the styrofoam cup to your mouth to taste nirvana. “Ah, this is so good! And she walks super slow, like a freakin’ munchkin.”

"Oh, so that's also an insult?" Namjoon looked at your best friend with gleaming eyes. "I thought it was a pet name!"

Her eyes narrowed at Namjoon for a second, before her expressions dropped into a lascivious smile. "You thought it was cute, didn't you?" she dramatically batted her lashes, leaning closer to Namjoon, pushing her voluminous chest out. “You think I’m cute too, dontcha, Joon bug?”

Namjoon, immune to her dramatic, completely unnecessary seduction, blew a raspberry in her face. 

“Ew, you animal!” she shrieked, flinching away as droplets of spit rained on her face. “Gross!”

“You asked for it,” Namjoon deadpanned, sipping from his cup. 

“Guys,” you began. “Can we please talk about what I should do?”

“Uh, can I please also mention what you should not have done?” Munchkin squinted at you. At your noncommittal shrug, her expressions morphed into a sharp glare. “Sneak out. I mean, he’s your damn boyfriend of nearly quarter of a year, babe! Why the hell would you want to confide in Captain Dumbass, over here, and not him?”

“My IQ’s greater than you, but other than that—valid point, dude.” Namjoon turned to stare you down. “When it all winds down, and you end up sorting it out, he’s still gonna be hurt that you ran away, man.”

You bit your lip. You hadn’t thought of it that way. “I forgot my phone at his place, too, so I couldn’t even text him.”

This time Munchkin turned her horrified gaze at Namjoon, and Namjoon at you. “What?” he squeaked. “You haven’t even texted him this entire time? Why didn’t you ask for my phone?”

“It’s almost three,” Munchkin mumbled. “He’s gonna be so pissed.” Her eyes suddenly turned wicked. “Imagine the angry sex.”

You snorted, bitterly. “How? I got fucking amnesia after our first time together, remember? I don’t even know what to imagine.”

Your best friends groaned in unison.

The second Hoseok invited them in, Jungkook went off like an arrow towards the direction of Yoongi's room.

Taehyung gave a dry chuckle, raising his eyebrows at Hoseok’s puffy eyes as he waved his hand before the guy’s face in greeting. “Good morning, hyung!” he said with fake cheeriness to grate on the elder’s nerves. 

Hoseok gave him the most venomous scowl Taehyung had ever seen on the guy’s face and walked away.

“He was cleaning up till six am and then Jin hyung woke him up at nine to go grocery shopping!” Jimin called from his slump on the couch, past the entry hall. “Poor guy didn’t even get to get his dick wet in his own party.”

“Of course you’d mention that,” Taheyung snorted, moving to join Jimin in what seemed like a Netflix marathon. “What’s this?” He nodded towards the 50-inch.

“Pretty Little Liars,” Jimin mumbled, lifting his feet enough to make room for Taehyung and then rested them back in his lap. “It’s a story of some girls. Who lie. Because that is all that girls fucking do, apparently.”

Taehyung, despite his mental disposition, found himself snorting in amusement for the second time. “Where’s Jin hyung?”

“Dropping noona off at Jackson’s. They’re in a fight, so don’t ask him about her.” Jimin raised a brow. “All okay?”

“They're fighting? How're you handling it?" Taehyung teased, well aware of Jimin's fear of conflicts between the group's oldest couple, and got a glare back. "And, not all's okay. Kinda had a shitty night.”

“Could not have been shittier than mine. You came in with your babe, made out in every corner of the house, held her when she did a keg stand, leftmaking out—what could go wrong?”

Taehyung grimaced but didn’t protest. “When did Jin hyung leave? I didn’t see him on my way over. Why’s Honey noona even friends with that pretentious jackass Jackson, nobody likes him,” he chose to comment on Jin’s girlfriend’s questionable life choices, instead.

“Nobody but Namjoon. Don’t forget they live together. And he and noona are family friends, you know that.” Jimin frowned. “Why’re you so eager to see Jin hyung? He didn’t really say when he’d get back. Maybe he and Honey noona are…making-up. If you know what I mean. I sincerely hope they are,” he added with a despaired stare skywards as if tossing a prayer up to God.

“Shut up, pervert. I'll just text him.” Taehyung waved a dismissive hand, pulling out his phone.

Jimin cleared his throat. “At least ask me why my night was shittier, you ass.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes, shooting Jimin a flat look. “You didn’t get laid, I already know it.”

“Well, that, yes. But also, the circumstances leading up to me not getting laid? Ugh.” Jimin scrunched his nose. “So there’s this cute, little, busty babe, okay? Shaking her boobs up in my face, and I know she wants to fuck, but. I can see how sloshed she is, so I, you know? Hold back.”

Taehyung raised his eyebrows, still typing away on his phone. “Doubt that.”

“I did, okay? Wait till you hear the rest of it.” Jimin’s head dangled off the armrest, upside down and Taehyung could only see his neck as he spoke. “She comes on too strong, and at one point—I can’t resist. But when she’s on her knees, she’s so confused that I… man, I felt so bad. She was wasted, dude!” Jimin pulled himself back up, nestling his head against the armrest as he frowned at Taehyung. “So I tell her no. She cries. I try to comfort her, but she just keeps sobbing. And then she fucking throws up all over my carpet and—I still fucking try to take care of her. And, you know, after I’ve given her hugs and a water bottle and so much pep talk—her phone rings and she says she has to go. Now, get this.” Jimin sits up, now scowling at Taehyung. “She has a fucking boyfriend.”

Taehyung couldn’t hold back the laughter that burst out of him, his head rolling back against the back of the couch as he held his stomach. Just the one time in his life Jimin tried to be a gentleman, it backfired. But it served Jimin right for trying to get into everyone’s pants. He told the guy as much.

Jimin scoffed. “I don’t try to get into everyone’s pants, dude. I’ve never tried to turn the charm on you, have I?”

“’Cause you know you’d fail.”

“I would not and you better believe that, Kim Taehyung.” Jimin suddenly licked his lips and sat up to get into Taehyung's personal space. “You see these lips? They—”

“Yah, Park Jimin! Get your paws off my dongsaeng!” Jin entered the house with a booming yell.

Taehyung sighed in relief, grateful for more reasons than one. “Morning, hyung!”

“It’s afternoon, brat!”

“I thought he was your dongsaeng?” Jimin mocked. “And for the record, he’s mine, too.”

“I’m barely three months younger, Jimin, fuck off.”

“Tae! Leave this idiot be and go wait in my room. I’ll join you in a bit.”

Taehyung stood up to locate Jin to find the older one heating something up in the microwave, aggressively pushing things around. It was a strange sight. Jin’s temperament was always cooler than a cucumber. And he especially tended to his kitchen appliances and utensils with an impossibly tender hand. He was clearly agitated, completely unlike how he normally was. Was his fight with his girlfriend that bad? 

As if sensing his gaze, Jin looked up, concern shining in his eyes when they met Taehyung’s. Taehyung imagined his own must have reflected it back. “You okay, hyung?”

Jin sighed. “Been better,” he tiredly mumbled, running a hand down his face. “I saw your texts. I gather you haven’t eaten?”

Taehyung nodded, silently, walking around the couch to join the older in the kitchen. Settling on a stool, he observed Jin's furrowed eyebrows and set jaw. Something had to have happened recently, or he'd have noticed something in Jin's behaviour earlier.

“I haven’t eaten either, hyung,” Jimin yelled from the living room, sounding offended instead of whiny or seductive, for once. “This sort of favoritism is too much, even for you.”

Jin narrowed his eyes at Jimin. “You know, every time Honey ignores me, I'm immediately reminded of how you could have taken that blonde to your own room, Park Jimin. So no, the favouritism isn't too much. And for the record, you’re more than capable of feeding yourself. This one? Not so much, right now.”

Taehyung hung his head, curious about what all Jin just said to Jimin, but also immensely floored by Jin’s concern for his own well being. Despite clearly not being in the right state of mind himself, he was still caring for Taehyung. He mentally thanked Jungkook for bringing him here.

Clearing his throat, Taehyung placed his hands on the kitchen counter. “When I didn't see Honey-noona at the party last night, I thought it was work related. You two often skip parties to catch up on your beauty sleep and all that. Is something the matter, hyung?"

Jin extracted some sort of noodles from the microwave and shut his eyes. "She's mad at me."

Taehyung's eyebrows rose. Jin and his girl had been together for over five years, now. They were past the stages of fighting over petty things. It had to be serious. "Oh?"

"And it was triggered by something that idiot did!" Jin finished, pointing an accusatory finger at Jimin.

The latter clicked his tongue. "For the last time, hyung," Jimin called out, sounding exasperated, "she’s mad over something else. The sooner you figure that out instead of blaming me every time you meet her, the faster your fight would be resolved.” He peeked at Jin over the couch's back. "And can you please make a quick work of it? I hate this phase…"

Taehyung’s eyebrows lifted up. Escaping the blame—classic Jimin. “What, exactly, did you do, Jimin? What blonde didn’t you take to your own room?” he asked, repeating Jin’s words from earlier.

“Irrelevant. He’s actually correct,” Jin interrupted, walking out of the kitchen. “You'll understand when I tell you. But right now, let’s talk about your problem. Come on.”

Although Taehyung was both curious and worried about Jin’s fight, he was more downtrodden due to his own situation at the moment, so he decided to follow the older boy upstairs, to Jin's room.

On entering the room, Taehyung slumped into Jin’s armchair while the man himself turned on the lights and made his way towards Taehyung with a water bottle and a huge bowl of reheated chicken noodles in hands.

Taehyung uncapped the bottle as soon as it was handed to him, not realising how badly parched all the worrying had gotten him. 

“I, uh, went to the shop you texted me. Have you guys really talked it through?”

Taehyung’s head snapped up. “What?” he asked, swallowing a huge gulp of water.

Jin cracked a smile for the first time. “One of the thirteen texts you sent me was about this shop, remember? It was on the way, so I dropped by to look around, but I couldn't really choose—”

Taehyung’s phone rang, interrupting Jin. It was Namjoon. They both frowned.

What if the guy was still calling to ask about you, like he did this morning? Taehyung had assumed that you’d have talked to Namjoon, at least. His eyes widened when it hit him — you’d left your phone behind, how would you contact anybody?

He looked at Jin. Jin crossed his arms in front of his chest, gesturing to the phone with his eyes. “Pick it up.”

With sweaty hands, Taehyung picked up. “Hey, Joon hyung.”

Silence. He frowned.

“Hello?”

More silence. And then a hushed, indecipherable whisper sounded in the background which was followed by what sounded like a slap. Taehyung’s breath hitched.

“Angel?”

A sharp intake of breath filtered through the speakers to him. But then nothing else.

“Whe—” He cleared his throat when his voice broke. “Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Tae.” Your voice was light, airy, almost like a whisper, but it managed to weigh down on his heart. “I’m okay.”

Of course, you were. You’d chosen to see Namjoon, apparently. Why wouldn’t you be okay?

“I—I’m sorry for leaving like…that. I hope you didn’t take it the wrong way.”

Taehyung was at a loss. “Wrong way? Angel, I…” He exhaled, shutting his eyes. In what way had he taken it? In what way was he supposed to take it? “Why did you leave, baby?”

No response. Taehyung’s heart seemed to keep on sinking.

“When can I see you again? We need to talk about last night. You know that, right?” He licked his lips and looked up at Jin. At the elder’s nod, he continued, “we need to finalize what we discussed. You get me?”

“I’ll see you tonight, Tae.” Your voice sounded tightly wound with emotions.

Taehyung took that as a good sign. “That’s great. I’ll be…I, uh. Just text me when you get to the dorm. Your phone’s on the coffee table. I’m at Jin hyung’s, I’ll come immediately.”

“Okay, I’ll do that. Um. Tae? I love you.”

Taehyung could breathe again. “I love you, too, Angel. I love you so much.”

He’d barely disconnected the call when Jin grabbed him by the shoulders. “Get some food in you and come with me. I went to the shop, but couldn’t really make the right purchase. You’ll have to do that yourself.”

Taehyung’s eyes widened. “But I already told her to come see me! You nodded!”

Jin rolled his eyes, taking a spoonful of noodles and stuffing them into Taehyung’s mouth that was hung open in surprise. “Because we have plenty of time, genius! It’s three in the afternoon. We’d be able to make it back before six, at any cost. Don’t worry about it.”

Taehyung took the bowl of food from him, his appetite announcing itself as soon as a bite of savoury deliciousness touched his tongue. Stuffing his face, he nodded at his phone. “Could you please put that to charge? It’s almost dead.”

And then he smiled to himself. He was gonna make everything right, tonight.

“I’m pretty sure five o’clock doesn’t count as ‘night’ in any culture across the globe.”

You ignored Munchkin’s sarcastic remark as you stepped out of the car, and gave Namjoon a grateful peck on his cheek. “Thank you for bringing me here, Joon.”

“Great. Ignore me and then cry when there’re consequences.”

Waving a butterfly wave at a fuming Munchkin and a chuckling Namjoon, you stepped into Taehyung’s dorm building. You knew you were early, but your nerves didn’t allow you to sit still at Namjoon’s place. You didn’t dare go back to your own dorm, knowing how chaotic Wendy tended to get and not able to muster the energy you usually needed to deal with her.

Taehyung lived in the larger, spacier and definitely pricier North Dorms. They were more like mini-apartments, with individual rooms and a living room area along with a whole kitchen instead of the tiny kitchenette you had with your own South Dorms. Namjoon lived in the East Dorms, similar in design to these, but in a wackier condition and slightly less pricey.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door. You would take your phone, text Taehyung to inform him of your arrival, have a glass of water, and patiently wait. Jungkook wasn’t much of a talker, anyway, so you’d have some time to yourself before Taehyung for here, which you planned to utilise by giving yourself mental pep talks. 

You were gonna come clean to your boyfriend and tell him that you remembered none of last night, profusely apologise for panicking and running out on him, and then, if the mood allowed for it, request him to give you a refresher that you’d be sure to memorise properly, this time.

The door was opened. Jungkook immediately jumped, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets when he saw you. “Oh, my God!”

You gave him a tight lipped smile. “Hey, Jungkook. May I come in?”

He gaped at you for a few more seconds before shaking his head as if to break his shock induced trance. “Ye—uh. I mean, yes, you could, but hyung’s not home.”

You nodded. “I know.”

Just as you’d made to move ahead, Jungkook stopped you. His eyebrows were arched. “Unless, you don’t wanna see him and are here to grab your things—in which case, I really won’t let you in.”

You frowned. “What? No, I need to get my phone so that—”

“Absolutely not!” Jungkook blocked the door with an arm. “You’ve got to talk to hyung once before making any rash decisions, and I won’t—”

“Wait, what? Rash decisions?”

“—might be a bit young and inexperienced, but I will not be an accomplice in the ploy to get Tae hyung’s heart broken—”

“Heart broken?” You balked at him while Jungkook kept on spewing stuff that made absolutely no sense to you. “Jungkook?”

“—no clue what actually happened, but because you really should’ve stayed to talk instead of running away from hyung—”

“Jungkook!”

“—not been emotional, but this really kind of hurt me, too, and you have no idea how much hyung was—”

“For fucks sake, Jungkook!” You held the guy with both his shoulders, making him immediately shut up. “Are you even listening to me? Stop speaking!” 

He blinked. “Um—”

“Stop!” You held a finger in front of his face. “Zip it up. Zero noise. Absolute silence.”

At his nod, you retracted your hands and pushed past him to enter the dorm. Collapsing onto the couch, you picked up your phone which was kept on the coffee table—just as Tae had told you it would be—and opened your chat box with him.

Tae❤ hey babe, im here ik im a bit early but dw, take your time i will wait i love u 🥺

SENT at 17:03

“I have come to talk to Tae and apologize, Jungkook,” you finally said, turning to face the guy who was still awkwardly standing at the open door. “Now please shut the door and go back to whatever you were doing. I’m gonna be here, waiting till he comes. I’ve texted him.”

Jungkook closed the door, very slowly, still looking at you warily. “You aren’t going to break up with him?”

“What? Of course not! I love him!”

He visibly relaxed, even letting a hint of a smile swim onto his face. “That’s good to hear. I thought I’d messed up.”

You frowned, scrunching your nose up in confusion. “Wait a second, you had messed up? How?”

Releasing an immensely loud sigh, Jungkook walked up to sit next to you on the couch. “Uh…” He bit his lip, fidgeting with his hands. “Well, you all know how horrible I am with words, right? It’s half the reason why I don’t talk much. I get too upfront, accidentally, and it gets horribly worse if I’ve deduced a situation wrongly and spoken about it.”

You gave a small chuckle. Jungkook was adorable, at times, looking way younger than his age. Not that you knew his exact age. You were certain he called you noona just because Taehyung was his hyung, and not because he knew your exact age. You could turn out to be younger than him, and he’d give you the same amount of respect and formality. “You just did that to me, a few minutes back.”

Jungkook shut his eyes with a wince. “Exactly. I did something similar this morning, and said stuff that I had no way of knowing facts about. And…” he trailed off again, this time squinting at your...well, boobs.

You immediately straightened. “Yah! What are you looking at?”

Jungkook looked up with rounded eyes. “That’s my hoodie.”

You looked down at yourself and physically cringed. You were the worst girlfriend in the world to not be able to tell the difference between your boyfriend's hoodies and his roommate’s. “Oh, God. Oh no, I’m so sorry. This is so embarrassing.”

Jungkook gave a small, awkward nod. “It’s fine, you’re okay.”

You shook your head at yourself. “It’s been a horrible day, Kook.”

“I’m gonna have to agree with that."

You both sat in silence for a while, and you recalled how you’d imagined you’d get peace and quiet because Jungkook didn’t talk much. You mentally snorted. The guy hadn’t exchanged as many words with you in eight months, as he did today. 

Your eyes fell onto the TV in front of you. You squinted at the animated, white-ish balloon-ish things.

"Is that Soul?" you speculated.

Jungkook's cheeks and ears pinked. "Um, yes."

You lifted the remote and wordlessly unpaused the movie.

Settling on the carpet on the ground next to the coffee table, Jungkook munched on some nuts as you both watched. 

The movie was good – really good and engaging, so much so that you didn't check your phone for over an hour. When it pinged with a message, you suddenly recalled that Taehyung hadn't responded to your text. Sitting up, you grabbed the device to check.

18:23 Munchkin😾 (1 new message) 

You sighed in disappointment. 

Scrolling past your best friend's inquisitive message, you got to your chat with Taehyung. You frowned. The message hadn't been delivered, yet.

"Want some?"

You looked up with a start to find Jungkook's hand holding the bowl of nuts to you, his head still facing the TV. You cleared your throat. "Um, no, I'm good."

He retracted his hand without a word. "You okay, noona?"

You bit your lip. "Taehyung hasn't received my text, yet."

This time Jungkook twisted his neck to look up at you. The odd angle made it difficult to discern what expressions he held, but knowing him, it was probably surprise—his resident facial expressions, next to only occasional grimaces.

"He said he was at Jin oppa's and would come here as soon as I texted him, but…"

Jungkook hummed, turning back. "He is there, yes. We went together, but I left early because Yoongi hyung had to go to his studio. And I don't like to hangout with anybody else in that house."

You snorted at that, sobering the next second. You exhaled. "I think I should call him."

Jungkook gave a simple nod. You stood up with your phone to your ear. But then you stopped, mid-step. Taehyung's phone was switched off.

This was very unlike Taehyung. 

You pursed your lips in concern. He'd sounded fine—if not more than a little low—when you talked on the phone. He didn't sound angry, that is to say. Did something happen in the meanwhile? You wondered what it could be, because as far as you knew, you hadn't done anything wrong other than running off to Namjoon for help. But it had been nearly three hours since your talk, so you couldn't really be certain about Taehyung’s mood anymore.

You were at a loss. What the hell were you supposed to do? Just stay here and wait? 

But what if Taehyung was really mad for some reason and didn't come at all, and you had to stay the night? You were certain he wouldn't appreciate you staying in his dorm with his male roommate alone, overnight. Taehyung was far from an insecure or controlling boyfriend, but put in his shoes, even you would be irked if he were staying over at your dorm with just Wendy around.

You groaned at your chain of thoughts. What were you even thinking? This was so stupid. He would be here any minute, and this would all come to an end. You really wanted to slap your drunk self for putting you into this mess. Or, you realised, you could slap Hoseok for throwing the stupid party with memory wiping liquor, in the first place.

You sat back down on the couch with a thump. You were being unreasonably paranoid.

You took a few deep breaths, looking from your phone to the TV screen, and then at the back of Jungkook's head. "Jungkook?"

He hummed in response.

"I need some advice."

Jungkook turned to look at you, eyes wide in evident alarm. "No. Please no. I'm horrifyingly bad at that."

You clicked your tongue. "Tae's phone is switched off. He never turns his phone off, Jungkook."

Jungkook looked taken aback as well. He probably knew the fact. "Maybe it got discharged?"

You sighed. "Jin oppa's house has plenty of chargers and charging points."

Jungkook looked uncomfortable at that, fidgeting with his hands as he trained his gaze at your feet. "Um. I… I am not sure what…" he trailed off, biting down on his lip, looking beyond lost. "I don't even know what happened."

You shut your eyes and massaged your forehead with both hands. "What happened is that I got extremely embarrassed about…well, yesterday. Something—something happened which made me too nervous to face Tae. Coming here after so many hours, I thought I was ready to apologise and talk it through, but the longer it's taking him to get there, the more uncertain I'm getting."

You took a breath after you'd poured it all out. Jungkook was the last person you'd expect to understand your situation and give advice. But he prompted you to tell him – and it flowed out.

You shut your eyes tighter.

"If—if you think you're not ready," Jungkook suddenly began after a heavy silence of a few extended seconds, "you can step back and take a breather. Take some time to yourself, analyse and then build up the courage. In my experience, saying the wrong words can be worse than keeping mum." 

His words gave you a pause. Namjoon and Munchkin's words came back to you. Taehyung was your boyfriend—you could talk to him, whenever. Why were you making such a big deal out of it? Well maybe because you didn't want the situation to deteriorate further. Jungkook was right. You should rethink your decision of coming clean to Taehyung, lest you create more problems between the two of you by upsetting him.

"Does… does any of that help?" Jungkook hesitantly asked you.

You gave him a big smile "I think it does."

As if on cue, the sound of a key turning in the door reached you. Jungkook's head whipped around to look at it.

You breathed in, preparing yourself.

“Why’s your phone turned off, hyung?” Jungkook accosted him at the door.

You saw your boyfriend over Jungkook’s shoulder. He was frowning, and was seemingly yet to notice you. “My phone?” He brushed a hand over his trousers’ pockets, dark, curly bangs brushing his eyelids as his head bent. You bit your lip. He was irresistibly handsome without even trying. “Oh fuck,” Taehyung enunciated, looking up at Jungkook very slowly. “I left it at Jin hyung’s. Did you say it was off?”

Taehyung stepped into the dorm, wide eyes immediately colliding with yours. “Um. Hey,” you squeaked, standing up.

“H—hi,” Taehyung stumbled on his words, eyes roving first on your face and then the rest of you. He momentarily frowned, probably recognizing Jungkook’s hoodie on you, and then met your eyes with a hesitant expression on his face. “How—how long were you waiting?”

You bit your lip. He seemed to be feeling guilty already. You reckoned it would be better to not add onto it. “Not long,” you simply responded.

Taehyung took baby steps towards you, while Jungkook glided around the place, shutting the door, turning the TV off, and then exited to his own room. You looked down at your feet, only looking back up when Taehyung’s own entered your vision. “Angel,” he whispered, his breath fanning your face. His deep brown eyes looked like pools of dark chocolate. “What happened?”

The simple question made tears prickle the back of your eyes. 

It was always so simple with Taehyung. He was never pretentious, never impatient, never expected the world out of you—and yet you did not share things with him like he deserved. Why did you always have to be so self conscious?

Something must have shown on your face, because the next second had Taehyung frowning and stepping forth to cup your face in both his palms.

“Hey, hey, what is it?” he murmured very softly, swiping his thumbs at your cheeks to wipe off the wetness trickling down your eyes. “Shh, it’s okay, come on,” he soothingly whispered before collecting you in his arms.

You rested your forehead on his collarbones, pulling your lower lip in to grab a hold of your emotions as you wound both your arms around his shoulders. “I love you so much, Tae,” you mumbled into his skin.

He inhaled and then exhaled, almost as if in relief. “I love you too, baby. I love you too,” he whispered into your hair, pressing a soft kiss into the crown of your head.

Pulling away, Taehyung held you by your upper arms and bent to peer into your eyes. His olive green Cuban collar shirt swayed with his movement, giving you a delicious glimpse of his toned chest. Realising how highly inappropriate it was to be thinking lascivious thoughts with tears in your eyes—when your boyfriend was trying to comfort you—you swallowed and focussed back on his eyes. 

“Now, tell me. What happened this morning?” Taehyung questioned you with a boundless softness in his gaze.

You cleared your throat. "Can we – can we move this to your room?"

Taehyung nodded, readily, wrapping his elegant fingers around your elbows to lead the two of you into his room. 

As you settled on the edge of his bed, your eyes caught your top from last night's outfit placed neatly folded at the top of Taehyung's dresser. You pursed your lips.

“So.” Taehyung sat down next to you on the bed, bumping his shoulders into yours.

You licked your lips, gathering courage. “I…this is gonna sound bad, babe, and, um, insulting even, but…” You turned to meet his eyes, desperately searching for any recognition. But you were met with cluelessness, and a subtle hint of apprehension. You sighed. “I — I had too much to drink last night, Tae.”

You felt him stiffen. His eyes gave away nothing. You waited for a couple heartbeats, expecting some indication that he was catching onto what you were trying to imply. Taehyung said nothing, though, and his face remained unmoving.

You looked down at your lap, wringing your fingers together. “I don’t know if I had too much, or if the combination made it so, but… I don’t—” You cleared your throat when your voice broke, chancing a glance at your boyfriend who was still as a statue. “I don’t remember a thing from last night. It’s all…a blur.”

Taehyung seemed to have stopped breathing, too, he’d gone so still. Very anxiously, you lifted your gaze to look at him.

You almost wished you hadn't, though. He looked shattered. Crushing disappointment was all over his face, hitting you like a lead arrow, and he wasn’t even looking at you. 

You felt like running away, your cheeks and ears burning in embarrassment. You tried to put yourself in Taehyung’s spot, employing your trusted tactic to discern how someone else must be feeling, but your head was too fuzzy with the unease you felt. You were mortified.

Taking a staggered breath in, you stood up on shaky legs. “I’m — I’m sorry, Tae,” you uttered, unsure if you were heard. “I really wish—”

“It’s fine, it’s okay. I understand,” Taehyung cut you off, suddenly, obviously trying to save face given the tight smile he had pulled up to flash at you beneath his saddened eyes. “It’s okay.”

You swallowed, shaking your head very slowly. “No,” you said. “It’s not okay, Tae. I — I wanted to make it memorable, too. Cherish the memories for life, however cliché might that sound. But I… I really blanked out, Tae.”

Taehyung’s brows got a slight crease in them by the time you were finished. But his eyes—those damned pools of love that you’d gotten so used to seeing boundless love in—looked strangely defeated. It almost felt like you’d done more than not remember a night of sex. 

But then you reprimanded yourself by underlining how it wasn’t just any night of sex—it had been the first time you and the love of your life became one. Knowing how sentimental Taehyung was, it had to have hurt him tremendously. This time you were very easily able to put yourself in his place and realise that you’d be pretty pissed if he had no recollection of something precious to you. You took a step away, suddenly overwhelmed by immense guilt. 

“Did nothing come back to you?” Taehyung asked, lips pouted and eyes rounded. “After so many hours, too?”

You shook your head, slowly. “I really tried, baby.”

Taehyung looked unconvinced, taking you by surprise. 

He didn’t, by any means, think that you were lying about it, did he? You wouldn’t put it past your boyfriend’s overthinking brain.

“I think I — I need a break,” you blurted out, watching in horror how any remainder of color left Taehyung’s face. Jungkook’s words came back to you: saying the wrong words can be worse than keeping mum.

“A break?” Taehyung gawked at you.

You quickly shook your head. “A breather. Space. Some — some time to get over my embarrassment.”

Taehyung looked confused, but you couldn’t bear to wait and extend this conversation. Twisting in place, you rushed out of there, on your way to your own dorm, this time. 

Taehyung sipped on Hoseok’s cheap beer, unseeing gaze stuck on the TV as some football match played on the screen. Next to him, Seokjin and Hoseok sat with their own bottles in hand. They were, decidedly, much more aware of the game than he was. 

“Gah! That was a red card, come on!” Hoseok suddenly exclaimed at the referee.

Seokjin snorted. “This referee is blind.”

“Or sold,” Hoseok grumbled.

Taehyung blinked, unable to focus on the game however hard he stared. Shaking his head, he took another gulp of the bitter liquid.

His soul had almost left his body when you'd said you needed a break. You wanting to be away from him after last night would have been his biggest nightmare come true.

But then you asked for space. To get over your embarrassment.

Why were you embarrassed? He couldn't, for the life of him, decipher that one. Did you really regret last night that bad? Had you changed your mind? Or was it something else altogether?

But what the hell could it even be, then?

Hoseok cleared his throat, drawing Taehyung's attention to the redhead. "You could try out a new painting, Tae. It'd be a nice outlet, and, y'know? They say you create your finest art when you got a heavy heart."

"Pretty sure that's not what they say, Hobi," Seokjin deadpanned.

"Something along those lines, hyung, catch my drift." Hoseok scowled at Seokjin. “Art’s supposed to take your mind off stuff, right?”

Taehyung exhaled, proceeding to chug down the rest of the drink in his bottle. "I can't," he murmured. "Angel is…" He stopped, shut his eyes and exhaled. "She's been my biggest muse ever since I met her, hyung. I can't paint when we're fighting."

Seokjin noisily exhaled, puffing his nostrils up. "Then maybe you could—ah, I don't know, invest in a different sort of art?"

Taehyung frowned at the guy in confusion. Hoseok, though, seemed to have gotten onto something. His head of flaming red hair bobbed erratically. "Yes, yes! Great idea, hyung! You should come with me to the rehearsal hall for some time, Tae. It's been ages since you've been there. It'd be a good distraction, take your mind off all this disappointment and hurt."

Taehyung clicked his tongue. "I'm not disappointed. I'm—I'm just… just hurt."

Seokjin sighed. "You mean you aren't even the slightest bit irked that she used the excuse of missing memory to evade your…well. You know." He gesticulated with a hand around the other. "You are, aren't you?"

"Not really." Taehyung frowned and shook his head. "I mean, well. yes. Of course, I would've preferred if she didn't try to evade it and just talked to me. But maybe she really can't recall anything, I'm not entirely sure. I mean, what's the difference, either way? It all boils down to the fact that she has backed off. And that is what's…" He broke off, taking in a shaky inhale. "What's hurting," he finished on an exhale.

They all went silent for a while. Seokjn hummed. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. You love dance and you love Hobi’s routines, so… it could be therapeutic to you. But don’t force yourself, we’ll think of something else.” 

Taehyung exhaled, swiping a hand down his face. He really did love Hobi’s routines and it really had been ages since he’d been to the rehearsal hall. “No. No, I want to. I’ll join you tomorrow, Hobi hyung.” He passed the man a half smile, and got a full back. He huffed out a breath. “You guys wanna crack open something stronger than this?” he asked the two older guys, gesturing to his empty beer bottle.

Seokjin raised his hands in surrender. "I've got work, tomorrow."

But Hobi, the resident booze-man, grinned like a cheshire cat.

Your day had been hell, and your night was going to be, too.

After ignoring your calls for an hour, your best friends had texted you back telling you they were too busy to take your calls. They would have known, of course, what you’d talk about and prioritized their personal businesses above it.

You weren’t bitter about it, or anything…

Okay, you were. You were really really bitter.

Because Munchkin was at a party, trying to rope in some guy she’d had her sights on for a while. Needless to say, she was gonna be busy for the night. And Namjoon was working on some project for extra credits for his class tomorrow.

Your relationship being at the verge of splintering was, apparently, less important than a coveted hookup and extra fucking credits.

Your mother had sent you her customary checking in texts asking about your well being, and you'd made a whole hypothetical situation to ask her if temporary amnesia could be cured with some brain exercise.

Did you drink too much at that party you were going to? Are you okay?

You huffed a breath out, irritated but at the same time feeling really loved at your mother's accurate deduction of the situation. You texted her you were okay, she asked about Taehyung's well being, you said he was okay, too, and at the end she suggested you see a doctor if this felt too uneasy.

You thought about it for a while, but then realised a doctor wouldn't take you seriously. 

yeah right, mom! if docs started treating everyone with temporary amnesia on campus, he'd be dealing with nearly the entire student population

The conversation with your mother certainly failed to help in any way. You had no solution at your hands and your mind wasn't taken off it, too.

You stress-ate a pint of choco-chip icecream for dinner and watched reruns of Victorious on your laptop. You cried when Beck and Jade broke up. And then you slept with your laptop still running the show in the background.

You had a fitful night’s sleep, riddled with horrible nightmares switching between you begging Taehyung to tell you what you’d forgotten but him just crying because he was so hurt that you forgot in the first place, and Taehyung never wanting to talk to you again because he thought you were lying about forgetting your special night.

You finally sat up in your bed at close to six am. Having had enough with the mess in your head, you decided to beg your best friends to help you out, one more time.

Seventeen minutes past six of the morning saw you on a conference call with Namjoon and Munchkin.

“I went to bed at four, bitch, have some mercy—”

“And I didn’t sleep at all, I’ve been working on the project the whole night, and—”

“Guys!” you wailed. “Please help me out here! I am at my wit’s end, I can’t eat, can’t sleep, and I don’t know who else to talk to! I swear if I did, I would not be bothering you two like this!” You exhaled when they’d both quieted down. “Not that you’ve been much help, so far,” you added under your breath.

“I did not sign up for being insulted first thing in the morning!” Munchkin protested. “And Joon, what the hell is up with all your late night working sessions, lately? Don’t you get enough time during the day?”

The comment had you momentarily distracted from your own issue as you furrowed your brows. “Good point. He’s been spending more odd hours than usual at the library, too,” you said, recalling how Jackson had told you about Namjoon’s frequent nightly visits to the library.

“What? I—I do work during the day, guys,” Namjoon jumped to his defense, “but… the work’s a lot, okay? Also, almost the entirety of my Sunday went into comforting Angel. Being an economics major just eats up your time, okay? And—and I really need a couple extra credits—”

“Stop, you’re rambling,” Munchkin interrupted, sounding bored.

“And obviously lying,” you added with a shrug, even though they couldn’t see it.

“What? What? I’m not—”

“Honestly, Joon, nobody has time for your theatrics, okay? If you’re sneaking around with a girl—although I’m willing to bet my nail extensions you’re not—it’s cool. Do whatever,” Munchkin sounded half asleep, but what she said rang true with you, too.

“Absolutely. We won’t pry, and won’t judge.”

“It’s not a girl, guys, come on—”

“Already bet on it.”

“You mean it is something, then?” You squinted.

“Wait, how did this conversation go from Angel’s crisis call to a semi-intervention on me?” Namjoon protested, bringing you back to the ground.

You groaned. “Oh, yes. No, sorry, we don’t have time for diversions, right now. Help me resolve my crisis first.”

Munchkin clicked her tongue. “I still really fail to see what the big deal is? So drinking gave you amnesia like a total weirdo. Yeah, okay, it kinda sucks, but it’s not the end of the world! You two love each other! Move past this! Make new freaking memories, and get over it!”

You bit down on your lip. “I… I would have done that, eventually, but… you guys don’t know what happened last night.”

“Yeah, we do. Sort of. You left thirty seven messages in the groupchat, so we get the gist,” Namjoon reminded you.

“Okay, so you do know. So. Guys, it’s become a big deal because Taehyung has made it into one. His behaviour last night…” and you launched into a retelling of your whole encounter with Taehyung at his dorm.

For the better part of an hour, your dear best friends listened to you go on about how Taehyung seemed heartbroken because of your missing memory, and how you felt he didn’t even fully believe you when you said you didn’t remember anything. You also brought up, time and again, how this one incident was gonna end your relationship. 

“Okay, okay, hold on!” Namjoon finally interrupted your rampage. “This is all rubbish!”

You stuck your bottom lip out, turning to your side in your bed. Wendy had been out the entire night, last night. You wondered what she was up to because she wasn't the type to sleep around or go to parties. Maybe she had a sleepover with some of her girlfriends. You honestly couldn’t strain your mind over this on top of everything else, so you shut your eyes. 

“Firstly, Taehyung isn’t gonna break up with you because he suspects you’re lying about the memory loss. That’s just stupid and unlike him, and I’ve known him longer than you,” Namjoon continued. “Also, I still think the key to this whole issue is communicating. You need to open your mouth and ask the guy what happened last night. Don’t be demotivated by his saddened face, push through.”

“But… you know, Jungkook said to me that sometimes saying the wrong words can be worse than keeping mum. And I literally said the absolutely worst combination of words I could to Tae, last night! Almost made him think I was trying to break up with him. How shitty—”

“I bet he’s not even thinking about it right now. I bet my hair extensions on it,” Munchkin interrupted with a snort. “He’s probably sleeping off another hangover. Boys always end up drowning the conflicts in their lives in alcohol.”

You rolled your eyes. “As opposed to what you do? And stop betting your extensions on things.”

“But, she’s kinda not wrong, Angel,” Namjoon intervened, “you’re definitely overreacting a bit. Jungkook has hardly ever known what he’s talking about, all through his life. You’re letting his words affect you? All you can do, right now, is have a decent conversation with Tae where you hold his hand, look into his eyes and ask him to tell you what exactly happened last night.” He paused. “The night before, now, I guess, ’cause it’s morning…”

You sighed, opening your eyes to blink at Wendy’s empty bed. “I don’t know, guys… He looks so freaking shattered and disappointed every time I try to talk to him, it just feels like a slap to the face.”

“Ugh, stop thinking so much about everything,” Munchkin groaned. “And if talking to him seems like such a humongous challenge, then talk to someone you know he would have confided in.”

You sat up at that, eyes open wide. “Jin! Jin oppa! Tae shares everything with him, and he even went straight to his place after I left his dorm, too! He would know everything.”

“Now, now,” Namjoon began with a nervous lilt, “I don’t think it’s such a great idea to ask around when you could ask—”

“Shut up, Namjoon, it’s a fantastic fucking idea,” Munchkin cut him off.

“Yes. Yes, it’s a fantastic idea!” you exclaimed, checking the time. “It’s past eight, he would’ve left for the restaurant. I can make it after my Scriptwriting class and catch him during his lunch hour! Thank you, guys, thank you, so much!”

“Great to be of service. Now let me go back to sleep, I’m skipping all my classes today,” Munchkin muttered into the phone.

“For the record, I still don’t think it’s such a great idea—”

“Nobody cares, Namjoon, go back to sleep. You have a boring-as-fuck class in less than two hours.” With that, Munchkin disconnected your three-way call.

You tossed your phone to the side and laid back on your bed. This could actually work out. You could ask Jin to fill you in on what’s been going on in Taehyung’s head, and then go talk to your boyfriend with full preparation.

Noon couldn’t come sooner.

Jin’s face was pretty expressionless when he got into his usual lunch booth and met your eyes instead of his girlfriend’s. He didn’t look surprised, at all. He literally didn’t even blink, just gave you a once over and reached for his bag to fetch his lunch out. That should have been your warning sign, but blinded by your own selfish goal, you missed it.

“Oppa, hello,” you respectfully greeted him, wringing your hands in your lap. “I hope you don't mind me dropping by unannounced, but I wasn’t sure you’d be welcoming if I told you beforehand. You know why.” You looked down at the table, at Jin’s lunch of some salad and a smoothie. “I—I think you do, at least.”

You waited for Jin to say something, but he simply kept chewing. His eyes looked at you so blankly, he almost seemed to be looking through you. This was nothing like the Jin you knew. Either he was in a really disturbed state of mind, or he was really mad at you for what happened between you and Taehyung. 

You suspected it was the latter.

“Um,” you couldn’t find the right words to say. “I—I tried talking to Tae about this, but he gets really upset and unbelieving and I… I lose courage.” You swallowed. You were losing courage now, too. “So—so, oppa, did he… Taehyung, he… what did he say about last night?” You bit your tongue. “I mean the night before. Hobi—Hobi oppa’s party’s night.” You focussed your gaze at your sweaty hands resting in your lap. “I drank God knows what combination of alcohol, and…and can’t seem to recall the events that followed us leaving the party. Taehyung is really worked up about it all, so…” You looked up to meet Jin’s flat stare. “Will you tell me what happened that night? What—what Taehyung’s been so worried about?”

Jin sipped at his smoothie, smacked his lips, and had just opened his mouth to say something, when a familiar voice rained down on the two of you from the side. “Well, this is fabulous!” 

You jumped, snapping your head to the side to see Jin’s girlfriend standing close to your booth in her waitress outfit, lunchbox in hand and rage on her face.

“So, now you have engagements during lunch, too. Great. Just great.”

“Unnie, I…” You trailed off as the woman silenced you with a sharp glare. Tossing another one at her boyfriend, she twisted on her heels and left the break room. “I… what did I do wrong? She—she did recognize me, right?” you nervously asked the stoic wall sitting before you.

“Taehyung is upset because you’ve been hiding behind the excuse of this fictitious memory loss—that doesn’t happen in real life, mind you—to get out of the promise you made to him while drunk,” Jin told you in a slightly high pitched, obviously enraged, and nearly unrecognisable voce. 

You gaped at him. “I really do not remember, oppa! Why would I want to forget about my first…” You slowly came to a halt as it hit you. “Wait, what did you say? The promise I made to him? What promise?” you rasped, bewildered.

Jin scowled at you. "What first time were you going to speak of? I don’t know about the intimate details of your relationship, and I don't want to, because that isn’t material here.” You ducked your head as your cheeks pinked. “You two drunkards were getting all emotional about loving each other a lot and wanting to stay together forever, so Tae proposed the idea of sealing it with a ring.”

You gasped. “I—a promise ring?”

“Mm hmm,” Jin hummed with pursed lips. “And then, when you got sober and realised you shouldn't have made that commitment in a haste, you ran out on him, instead of telling him straight up. And since then you’ve been confusing him with mixed clues instead of properly talking to him about what you want.” Jin’s jaw was set. “Why can’t you just have a proper talk, huh? Why do you women have to be so mysterious and expectant about things? Use your freaking words, for one damn time in your life! Men can’t get into your head to guess shit! Say it, and maybe we’ll be able to resolve it! Use words to describe what you actually want, and maybe I'd be able to get it done!”

Jin was breathing hard, his eyes were blown wide and a few veins in his forehead looked close to popping. You swallowed, feeling nervous, confused, dumbstruck and a tad bit scared for your life, at the same time. “Uh… you?”

Jin blinked, and the hazy, mad look lifted from his gaze. His lips parted and he sighed very noisily. “No, not I. It’s just… I started to project my personal issues onto you. Sorry about that, kid.” He forwarded a hand to pat your shoulder in apology. “You got what you came here for, though, right?”

“I… yeah, I guess. Although…” I cannot believe that that is what I forgot. No wonder Taehyung looked so downtrodden.

Gosh, you were a fool!

“Thank you so much, oppa!” you announced to Jin, getting up with a new spring to your steps. “I’ll get going, now.”

You bounded out of the restaurant. You literally could not believe what you’d just learned. Smacking a palm against your face, you shook your head at yourself. 

You concentrated, again, this time to recall conversations from last night instead of actions. And surprisingly enough, some of the fog cleared away as you started recalling things…

…you are beyond toasted in this shimmery polyester top and leather shorts you’d worn as your costume. The minute you step into Taehyung’s room, you are scrambling to get out of them.

Your boyfriend chuckles as he locks the door after himself. “You’re more than welcome to take it off, and more, babe.”

Your mind has gotten kind of hazier than you’re used to. But knowing how Tae always makes fun of you for being a lightweight — which you’re really really not, Tae just holds his liquor better than you do — you avoid bringing up your state of mind. You laugh at his teasing remark.

Within seconds, you have thrown off your top and shorts, and are snuggled between Taehyung’s covers. He himself has stripped down to his boxers. You give a lazy smile as your eyes rove his torso. “What happened to wearing pajamas when we cuddled?” you tease, sleepily.

Taehyung gets in bed next to you, rolling over to pull you to his chest. He smirks down at you, complete with his vampire makeup. “Too balmy tonight. And too tired to find pajamas.”

You giggle, burrowing yourself into the warm, soft skin of his chest. You poke a finger into his pectoral muscle.

“Ow!” he yelps.

“You’re muscly, babe. Those oversized clothes hide you well,” you observe, licking your lips as your hands smooth over his chest and stomach.

“And you’re sexy,” he responds in a rasp, eyes stuck on the cleavage exposed by your bra. “Do you usually sleep with this on?” he asks, snapping the strap against your shoulder.

You wince, shaking your head. “It’s too hot to wear a shirt, so…”

Taehyung pulls you in closer, staring deep into your eyes. “Do you trust me?”

Despite all the ridiculous makeup, your heart skips a beat at his intense stare. You nod.

His hands slide behind you to unhook your bra. You gasp when the clasp is released. “Relax, baby. It’s just me,” Taehyung whispers to you in a soothing voice. “I won’t even look if you ask me to. You know that, right?”

You do. But you also do. Want him to look, and more. As the garment is pulled away from your body, slowly, Taehyung’s eyes remain stuck to yours. Your own water at the love, admiration and respect you feel for him in the moment. Actually, not just in the moment. Always.

A sob escapes your lips. You rush to wrap yourself in his arms, again. “Baby?” he sounds worried. “What—what happened, sweetheart?”

“I just love you a lot, Tae,” you speak into his skin in a nasally, snot-filled voice. “A lot. You’re my most precious gemstone in the whole world. Never leave me, baby. Never ever.”

Taehyung presses a multitude of kisses to the crown of your head, and you feel wetness seep into your shoulder when he nuzzles your nape. “I love you too, my babylove. And I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not ever.”

“Promise?” you mumble. “This is forever?”

You feel him nod against you. “Forever, baby. I promise.” He pulls away from you, eyes still on your face as he wipes away your tears and the obviously ruined makeup if his own is anything to go by. “Do you want to seal it? With a promise ring?”

You gasp. This is the stuff from teenage romance novels that you’ve always dreamed of. “I… Yes! Yes, Tae, oh my God, yes, yes, please yes!” you happily chant, grabbing both his hands and wringing them around as you roll in the bed.

Taehyung chuckles, calming you down by pulling you in for a kiss. The familiar heavenly feel of his pillowy lips has you quieting down and kissing him back. His palm slowly travels up the curve of your waist to curl around the side of your breast. Your breath hitches.

Taehyung brushes his tongue against your lower lip, and pulls back. “Is this okay?” he asks, giving a slight squeeze.

You almost squeak at the sensation, rapidly nodding your head like a dummy. Smiling, he captures your lips again and massages his palm over the peak of your breast, squeezing when you moan into his mouth. You lose yourself in his taste and touch.

His lips travel lower to your jaw, peppering kisses on their way. You release a sigh of bliss, hands carding through his hair. His teeth scrape over your collarbone, quickly latching onto the skin of your neck. You cannot hold back the whine that leaves you, sensations travelling down to the bottom of your stomach.

“Mine,” he breathes into your skin, sponging kisses over the bite he has just left. “Only mine.”

“Only yours, baby,” you breathe out, rolling on your back as he presses his face against your sternum.

“You’ve made me the happiest man, bub,” he breathes onto your chest, a finger drawing patterns around your navel as he cuddles into you. “I’ll get you that ring and prove myself to be the best boyfriend, in the world. I’ll love you more than you ever thought was possible.”

Tears trickle down your eyes at his words. “And I’m gonna be the best girlfriend in the world to you, baby. You’re my dream come true. My real life prince charming.”

He doesn't say anything for a while, just hugs you tighter. His lips feathers soft kisses to the tops of your breasts, and a hand plays with imaginary patterns on your stomach. And then you feel his head getting heavier. You want to ask him if he’s sleepy, but you cannot even open your eyes with how heavy they’ve gotten. You breathe out as he holds you closer, and slowly drift into sleep...

Your eyes watered as the scenes played out in your head, everything you’d been unable to recall gradually coming back. You realised you’d been going about it the wrong way, trying to recall your passionate moments, when it had all been an extremely emotional affair.

You bit your lip as you called Taheyung’s cellphone. You were gonna beg for his forgiveness and then kiss him silly. You loved this boy so much, oh God.

The phone was picked up after three rings. “Hi, kiddo!”

You blinked at the unexpected voice and greeting, but then recognised it to be Hobi’s. Oh how you wished you could yell at the guy for making your life miserable by mixing drinks at his damn party. You exhaled, though, and tried to clear your head. “Hobi oppa, hey. Where’s Tae?”

“At the Kappa rehearsal hall with me!” Hobi cheerfully told you. “We’re doing a k-pop routine today. You know how he gets with those, right? He’s been practising this one move that he can’t get right for so long, ugh. Do you need a message conveyed?”

You frowned to yourself. It had been a while since Taehyung visited the rehearsal halls. Was he trying to distract himself from the disaster you’d brewed up for him? Very likely. “No, no, I’m gonna…” You stopped yourself. Maybe an element of surprise would work better. “I’ll call later, when he’s done,” you said, instead, already mapping a way down to the university campus and the rehearsal hall as you hailed a cab.

You received Hobi’s text on your way, stating that they were all leaving for the ice cream parlor opposite the building and that you may contact Taehyung now if you wanted to. You were kind of grateful they’d all left the rehearsal hall. You weren’t sure how you’d call Taehyung aside in an echoing hall with mirrors and Hobi’s dance team. And what would you do if he refused you? You weren’t prepared for that kind of humiliation. An ice cream shop, you could do.

On reaching your destination, you exited the cab, determined. You looked up at the striking capital K embossed in gold atop the Kappa rehearsal hall. Then you turned to look across the street and spotted a quaint, cosy looking ice cream parlour painted in beautiful pastels. You crossed the road with hurried steps.

You took a deep breath in. You were gonna apologise your butt off, and then kiss him in the middle of this very place if you had to. God, you felt so guilty! You were gonna make this right.

As you pushed the door open, the entry bell tolled, alerting the girl behind the cash counter of your presence. As she flashed you a bright smile, you realised she looked familiar. She had a really kind face. Maybe you’d seen her around the campus, maybe she was one of Wendy’s friends. 

You stepped in and returned her greeting with a small smile of your own. Then you looked around to spot Taehyung and Hobi’s group. Hobi caught your eye first, standing out with his fiery red hair.

You walked over. “Hey… everyone,” you greeted the table, awaiting Hobi’s reaction and hoping he’d be kinder than Jin. Although half of Jin’s ire seemed to have come from his personal troubles which you really had known nothing about beforehand. You smiled when Hobi’s surprised eyes met yours. “Hi.”

“Oh! Hey, kid!” Hobi greeted you with a huge grin, easing your worries. “You, uh, you came here, whoa!”

You gave a bashful shrug, awkward because you didn’t recognise anyone other than Hobi on the table.

And then you did a double take at the table. You didn’t recognise anyone, indeed! Where was Taehyung?

Hobi noticed your searching eyes. “Oh, Tae went back to the hall, he’d left his phone. He’ll be back in five.”

You exhaled. That wouldn’t do. “I’ll catch him back there, no problem.”

Hobi shrugged his shoulders, without question. “He’d be in hall G.”

Nodding him a quick thanks, you took off, leaving the ice cream shop, and crossed the road back to the rehearsal hall. As you stepped foot onto the linoleum floor of your university's most coveted rehearsal hall, you realized you’d never been here before. Past the revolving gates, you encountered a small reception area where you had to show your college ID to get yourself checked in.

When the man passed your ID back to you over the counter, you made your way down the corridor which was lined by various gates that were numbered alphabetically. These were probably the individual halls. The corridor, you noticed, ran quite long. God, how huge was this place?

On reaching the door marked with a G, you stopped. The door wasn’t fully shut like all the others you’d walked past, right now.

You gave it a slight push, peeking in. Taehyung’s shapely butt greeted you as the guy leant over on the floor, rummaging around for something. Probably his phone. You gaped at the sight for a few extended seconds, before realising how you were being a creep.

You cleared your throat and gave the door a firmer push, opening it wide enough for you to step through. Taehyung’s wide eyes met yours in the mirrored wall he was sat before. You sucked in a sharp breath as his attractiveness smacked you in the face, yet again. Dressed in plain black joggers and a loose fitted t-shirt, he should have had nothing on your white colored high waisted shorts and pale blue button up, and yet he looked like a freaking Greek God, while you...well. You really just looked like a potato trying to play dress-up in front of this guy, swear to God.

He straightened up, running a hand through his dark hair, his eyes following your movements through the mirror as you stepped in. His gaze seemed apprehensive and he really didn’t seem to be in the mood to speak, anytime soon. “Hi,” you whispered through a scratchy throat.

Taehyung’s eyes travelled down your body, making you blush from the inside out as they lingered on your legs. “Hey,” he finally said, audibly exhaling as he sat down, this time, to rummage through some towels and water bottles lying on the floor next to the wall length mirror. “You done with your breather, overnight, then? Can you give me a ring? I can’t find my phone.”

You bit your lip at his caustic tone and taunt. And also at the lack of an address. No babe, no angel? You’d really hurt him. “Uh, yeah, sure,” you quickly said, holding back the flood that was filling up your heart as you fished your phone out from your pocket.

The buzz of a cellphone’s vibration filled up around you. Taehyung bounced back to his feet, attentively kicking off a soaked towel, and there, on the floor, you saw his phone. You disconnected the call as he picked the device up. “Thank you,” he mumbled, breaking your heart with the formality and the repetitive lack of address.

He walked up to you on careful steps, eyes scanning your face as if accessing something. You breathed in. “Tae, can we talk?”

His eyebrows did a thing where one of them rose and the other lowered, very slightly. You nearly creamed your panties. “Depends,” he gruffly said, looking away to inspect his phone. “Are you gonna run off in the middle of it, again?”

You winced, ducking your head in shame. “No. No, absolutely not. Never again, I promise,” you mumbled. You looked up and caught a brief glimpse of his shattered expressions before he pulled on his mask of indifference mingled with slight bother. You felt like shit. “I’m so so so sorry, baby,” you said without any ado. “I acted like a complete idiot and—and really hurt you.”

Taehyug’s whole body seemed to deflate. With his lips pursed and eyes shut, he shook his head. “That you did, babe. That you did.”

You clamped your lower lip between your teeth. “Forgive me? Please?” you breathed out in a really desperate voice, ready to beg on your knees if you had to.

Taehyung opened his eyes with a tired sounding, noisy exhale. “It’s… well, of course, I’ll forgive you, Angel. You’re the love of my life,” he said with a small smile while his eyes still emanated immense sadness. He looked so heartbroken and lost that you just wanted to give him a tight hug. “But, baby. Why? Why did you go through all this trouble of faking memory loss? You ran out on me twice within twelve hours, you know. It hurt like a bitch that you couldn’t just talk to me about wanting to back out. I would’ve understood, baby. You were drunk and emotional, and I—”

You gasped when it hit you. Faking memory loss? Wanting to back out? Oh no. “Tae!” you interrupted him, stepping forth to put both your palms against his chest, resisting the urge to splay them and push them into his toned flesh. “You’ve still got it wrong. I didn’t fake any memory loss, baby. I genuinely did not remember. I promise. I didn’t lie.”

Taehyung frowned, looking confused. “What? But…why did you leave like that in the morning, then?” he asked in a soft voice, looking vulnerable as his hands came up to loop around your wrists.

Your skin as well as your heart warmed at his familiar touch, and this time you did splay your fingers out a bit on his pectorals. “I…” You felt your cheeks and ears heating up when you realized you’d have to actually tell him what you’d assumed you’d forgotten. “Um, Tae, we—uh, we were nearly naked when we woke up, you remember?”

Despite the situation, a corner of his lips ticked up and his hands left your wrists to wrap around your waist. “Uh huh, vividly. What of it?”

You felt the heat climb down your ears, to your neck. You looked down at his beautiful collarbones to avoid the intensity his eyes suddenly shone with. “Well, it — it made me think that maybe, you know… stuff might have happened between us. Um, you know…?”

When you felt his hold slacken, you looked up to find Taehyung gaping at you with his jaw dropped really far down and eyes as round as golf balls. “You thought we had sex?” he squeaked, face contorting in horror. “No…you thought you forgot that we had sex,” he corrected himself, horror growing on his face as you pursed your lips in silent acquiescence.

“I felt horribly embarrassed,” you quietly confessed, making his grip on you tighten again. “Our first sexual encounter was — well, is going to be something I remember and cherish for the rest of my life. I hated myself for blanking out on it.”

“But you could’ve asked me!” he desperately said, shaking his head as if in disbelief.

“Yeah, about that.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I kinda did, but somebody just gave me suggestive glances and confuddling freaking words that concreted my doubt of us having had sex!”

Taehyung grimaced. “Yeah, I was tryna tease, but it came back to bite me in the butt.”

You rolled your eyes with a small chuckle, sliding your palms past his shoulders to grip his neck.

“As it stands, I’m sorry, too.” He looked at you with parted lips and big, innocent eyes. “I shouldn’t have doubted you like that.”

You looked in his now regretful eyes with love bubbling in your chest. “How could you ever think I would wanna back out, baby?” you whispered, leaning in close enough to taste his favorite strawberry milkshake on his breath. “You really are my most precious gemstone in the whole world, Tae,” you relayed your words from that night, making his eyes widen. “My dream come true. My real life prince charm—”

With a growl Taehyung captured your lips in his. You melted in his embrace, nails digging into the back of his neck as you drank your fill of him. Your lips moved in sync, the most natural rhythm in the world to you. You had missed this, missed him so much, in just a day. You really couldn’t live without this boy. He was your whole world.

His tongue swiped past the seams of your lips to delve deeper, and you allowed him entry with a deep moan, going lax in his arms as he plundered your mouth. You felt him move you around, and then a cold surface was pressing into your back. Taehyung sidled up to you, his planes molding smoothly into your curves. You sighed into his mouth, tasting him to the fullest as you ran your own tongue over the ridge of his upper teeth. His chest vibrated with a groan, making you shiver.

You closed your teeth around his lower lip and sucked, making him gasp and push against you harder. His own teeth scraped against your upper lip. Goosebumps spread all over your body.

His arms left your waist to pull at your own, slowly travelling down your shoulders, to encircle your wrists and pin them next to your head. He pulled away with a heaving chest, and you gasped in a large breath. Your eyes fluttered open.

He looked good enough to eat with his eyes shuttered, dark hair brushing his miles long lashes, and lips cherry red with your kisses. “I love you so so much, my babylove,” he whispered, strawberry scented breath washing over your face.

You inhaled his essence. Your eyes watered at the love reflected in his own. “I love you, too, Tae. I love you forever.”

Pinned between him and, you could now tell, the mirror, your heartbeat quickened when he licked his lips. Without another word, he leant down to sponge open mouthed kisses down your neck.

“Tae,” you breathed out, “we’re in...publi—ah!” you broke on a gasp when he licked a strip up to your jaw.

Your eyelashes fluttered as he came back up to look into your eyes with his own darkened in lust. “You didn’t cover the marks, did you?”

Your breathing almost stopped at his deep octave. Nearly trembling in his grasp, you shook your head. “I w—w—wore a shirt to… hide ’em,” you managed to breath out, going insane under his heated stare.

He let go of your arms to unbutton the collar of your shirt. You looped your fingers through the waistband of his joggers, chewing on your lower lip when he undid another button. And another. And then another. “You look really fucking sexy today, by the way,” he grumbled into your neck, leaning in to lave his tongue over the deep purple marks he’d left there. “Love the shorts.”

You bit back a whimper when his teeth scraped against the flesh just beneath your collarbone. 

“I happen to remember another mark,” he spoke into your skin, nose dragging down your sternum and sinking into your cleavage. One of his fingers came up to drag against the top seam of your bra. In a swift motion, he scooped the cup down to free your right boob. One of his fingers came up to encircle your nipple, making it peak immediately. Humming in satisfaction, he moved the shapely digit up to rub against the mark you remembered he’d left there. “Would you look at that.” His voice was now a growl, hot breath warming the skin of your breast as he spoke. “My baby looks so pretty.”

That was your last warning before Taehyung was engulfing your peak into his mouth. You stopped breathing. Frozen in place, your thighs tingling at the sensation and your core clenching in anticipation, a breathless heave left you when his tongue flicked against the pebbled nipple. You desperately clutched onto him for dear life, one hand grabbing hold of his shirt at the waist and the other coming up to grip a tuft of his hair. “Tae...hyung,” you whined, eyes screwed shut as he sucked hard.

He let go of your boob with a pop, only to tease his mark with kitten licks. You were gonna die. 

One of his hands glided over one of your thighs, hooking under your knee to lift your leg up and slot himself further into you. Your eyes flew open when you felt the stiffness between his legs. He felt hard. And he felt huge. Gulping, you tugged at his hair to pull him away. He separated from you with dazed eyes, blinking rapidly as if to focus on your face as he breathed through his wet, rosy, parted lips.

Sexy fucking beast.

As you looked into his crazed eyes, he pressed harder against you, pushing his length against the crotch of your shorts. You whimpered, your fists tightening on him when the zipper of your shorts bumped into your clit. Taehyung’s eyes lit up with interest. He repeated the motion. You threw your head back, giving up when he picked up pace, rubbing against you with his own breathing laboured.

Sweat beaded your forehead, and his hand came up to support the back of your neck, palm of the other still holding up your leg to provide him with the required leverage. You let out a guttural moan when he leant in to lick at your nipple with the flat of his tongue. “Tae…” you sighed, attempting to collect some semblance of your sanity, but failing.

Taehyung sped up, almost rutting against you, and you rolled your hips against his to match the pace. His mouth latched onto your neck, shooting off sparks down to your core and fueling the fire bubbling in the pit of your stomach. You were about to combust. “My baby,” he grumbled into your ear, scraping his teeth against the flesh behind it. Your entire body shuddered. “Only mine,” he growled again.

You nodded blindly, gasping when he bit down on your flesh. His hand suddenly left your neck to brush down your front, tweaking your nipple, and settled onto the waistband of your shorts. His eyes met yours through the haze of lust you two were choking on, and you gave him a nod of consent. He deftly unbuttoned the garment, hips not ceasing for a moment as his fingers glided down your abdomen. 

The first contact his fingers made with your clit was explosive. Your back arched off the wall, mouth falling open on a silent scream. He nudged against your bundle of nerves twice, before moving down your wetness to sink two of his gorgeously slender fingers into you. You had been flooding your panties since the moment your eyes met. Both his fingers slid right in. His hips stuttered to a halt, lips falling open on a gasp. Your hand left his head to clutch at his shoulder, pulling him in further when he let go of your knee.

“You are soaking, baby,” he breathed, awe and surprise spilling off his throaty timbre. His fingers curved in you, rubbing against that spot inside of you that had taken you months to locate properly. He did it in under five seconds, and now he was playing you like a violin. You were gonna die!!! Your eyes fell shut again. His fingers were merciless, massaging your insides and pushing against your warmth. “Yes, you like that? Do you like that baby, hm?”

You managed a broken nod, gasps layering on one on top of the other. “T—Tae…Tae…”

“Come on, my love. Let go,” he whispered, swiping his tongue over your trembling lips before latching onto them.

A stroke of thumb against your clit, and you fell apart with a vibrating groan into his mouth. The knot tightening in your stomach suddenly expanded into a tsunami of sensations that travelled down to every single nerve ending in your body. Your walls clenched around his fingers as waves over waves of blinding, white pleasure crashed into you. Your legs jittered beneath you, spasming beyond your control.

It took you longer than a few seconds to come back to the land of living. You were not used to this.

You opened your eyes excruciatingly slow, as if waking up from unconsciousness. But when you did, Taehyung had already extracted his hand back from you, righted your bra, buttoned up both of your garments, and was now licking your wetness off his fingers with his eyes shut. The sight made you thump back against the wall, jolting his hand that was holding onto your waist and making him open his eyes in surprise.

You looked at him from under your lashes, your chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. “What…” you panted, “the hell…”

Taehyung had a starved look in his eyes when he met yours that, despite just having had the best orgasm of your entire life, made you wanna throw him on his back and ride him to the high heavens. “I take it you liked that,” he murmured, cradling your waist in his arms.

“Liked it? Are you insane?” you scoffed. “Taehyung, I…” you heaved a breath out, picking up your leaden arms to rest against his shoulders. “I couldn’t breathe. It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt,” you whispered, feeling vulnerable and at the same time protected.

Taehyung, contrary to your expectations, gave you a sincere smile instead of the smirk you’d envisioned. “Makes me the happiest man. I love you so much, you know?”

You giggled, pulling your lips in. “I love you, too, you insanely insanely sexy man,” you teased, making him scrunch up his nose in embarrassment. Something poked your thigh when you shuffled closer to him, and you gasped. “Babe, what about you… your… um.” Your wide eyes pointed down at his nearly fully erect member. 

Taehyung gave a laugh. “Well, we can always go back to the dorms and take care of it together,” he suggested, making your cheeks flame up and your battered pussy reignite in excitement. “I was dry humping you like a thirteen-year-old. Couldn’t let our first sexual encounter be about that.”

“You were lucid enough to think about all that?” you asked him, genuinely curious.

“No, that was a lie.” Taehyung gave you a bashful shake of head. “I was a goner, babe. I just…” His tongue came out to lick at his lower lip. “I just had this sudden urge to feel you. Couldn’t control it.”

You shakily exhaled. “Your fingers are amazing. No, you are amazing,” you mumbled, leaning in to press a kiss against his lips. You suddenly pulled back with your eyes wide. You looked around the hall, frenetically. “Wait, this place doesn’t have cameras, does it?”

Taehyung laughed with his lips pursed. “Of course not, darling. Who do you think I am?”

“A really sexy guy who missed his girlfriend?” you teased again, and this time, he kissed you in retaliation.

Pulling away, he looked at you with stars in his eyes. “Wait,” he mumbled, reaching into his pocket for something.

You had a guess what it could be. 

Pulling out a plastic case that obviously housed a ring, Taehyung sucked in his lower lip as he looked at you. Pinning you against the mirror, he popped the box open between your faces. Your eyes left his to look at the ring — a simple, silver band with a dainty knot embossed on it. Your eyes watered.

“It’s beautiful,” you mumbled through a clogged throat.

“My angel, my other half, the love of my life,” Taehyung whispered, paying no heed to the tear that travelled down his cheek, “do you promise to be mine forever?”

You sobbed. Clamping a hand over your mouth, you nodded, frantically. “Yes. Yes, I promise. I promise to be yours forever.”

He plucked the ring out of the box and slid it on your finger. Sobs wracked the two of you as you hopped into his arms, tucking your legs around his waist when he lifted you off the floor. “I love you so much, oh baby,” he sobbed into your neck.

“I love you, too, my love, I love you, too.”

Fifteen minutes later, after crying for a while, admiring how cute the ring looked on your hand, ensuring that Taehyung wasn’t even the slightest bit hard, and nearly leaving his phone behind again, the two of you exited rehearsal hall with your entwined hands swinging between you. 

“So,” Taehyung suddenly commented, a sly smirk on his face. “Bet you can’t get amnesia about coming for me in Hobi hyung’s rehearsal hall, huh? Even if you tried? Mission accomplished!” 

You gasped, raining down smacks on him right there, on the side of the road. He was gonna tease you about your wrong interpretation of that night, forever, it seemed.

“Hey, I was kidding!” Taehyung exclaimed, sheltering himself with his arms. “Let’s go ask hyung what he mixed with the vodka that gave you amnesia in the first place!” 

You stopped with your attack. That seemed like a great idea. You were dying to ask the man that, yourself. “Let’s.”

As you two walked back to the ice cream shop, your ring glinted, reflecting sunlight. You looked at Taehyung who was grinning to himself. 

You were the happiest, today, that you had ever been in your life.

note: angst by the virtue of miscommunication is my fav sort of angst to write. in the original draft, this story was to end when OC got back to Tae's dorm to sort things out, but then my mind said naAAHHH. mORE ANGST!!! lmao, anyways. thank you for reading! jin's story should be up next, if all goes according to plan. wait around~ 😘💕

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