#it's norway day i might as well :-)

[sn0wbat]

it's mort at 19 yrs old, about to graduate from school.

yeah this is very norwegian, so i wrote it in mostly norwegian. sorry

[exopelagic]

okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool

[hellodropbear]

homesick.

ingrid engen x mapi leon x child

isabel's first international camp.

this is a long one but i hope you enjoy and i hope it's up to scratch!

pls give me more requests i love them and i am slowly getting through them i promise

heaps of uni at the moment though so might take a while for me to get them out :)

~~~~~~

Isabel had been on a plane before. 

She had sat by the window many times, staring out the window as the buildings below got smaller and smaller, until all she could see was the bright lights in the distance. 

Ingrid and Mapi are professional football players, on a plane nearly every week. They also loved to travel, around Spain, to other countries in Europe. 

Up to Norway to visit Ingrid's home, her family. Everything she knew as she grew up. 

But usually, Mapi was on the plane too, right beside her with her bag full of toys and snacks. 

But today, Mapi was one of those people getting smaller and smaller in the distance and instead it was Ingrid beside her, Ingrid with the snacks and toys that would be more than enough to keep the child occupied for two days, let alone the two hours that they'd spend on the plane before touching down in the Scandinavian country. 

It was weird for the child, flying away from her Mami. It was 10 days away from her and the last time she had spent a night away she had cried so much that Mapi had to come stay at Alexia's as well. 

But that was back when she had only just turned 3. 

She was 4 now and both Mapi and Ingrid were confident that the child would be perfectly happy with the Norwegian, the centre back often complaining that Ingrid was the favourite even though Mapi was the one who gave birth to her, the one who raised her alone for 14 months. 

"You should have come here earlier," Mapi would say "You left me alone with a baby!"

Ingrid would blush profusely, overwhelmed with love and adoration for the two, as well as a huge amount of gratitude that they chose her - that they let her become part of their tiny family. 

In saying that, sending Isabel to Norway with Ingrid was an almost impossible decision for Mapi and she had spent weeks debating the idea in her head, with Ingrid, Alexia, her family. 

Everyone had said the same thing. 

Ingrid loved Isabel and Isabel loved Ingrid. Their family of two was becoming a family of three and all three of them loved each other an exponential amount. 

It wasn't sending Isabel to Norway, it was letting her go on a trip with Ingrid, something she had been begging for since she was old enough to understand why the Norwegian left every couple of months. 

The whole problem was her cousin's wedding, a child free event that Mapi's entire family would be at. 

She never got to see her whole family together, especially now she was dating Ingrid and they shared their already limited time between both Ingrid and Mapi's families. 

But this wedding coincidentally fell on an international break, the perfect opportunity to see everyone for a few days of uninterrupted celebration. 

It was just a shame that no children were invited. 

Mapi understood the reasons why, but it left her with the problem of where her daughter could go. 

She told Ingrid she'd miss the wedding, but the Norwegian had rolled her eyes, immediately telling her girlfriend to stop being stupid, that she'd take Isabel to Norway with her. 

Initially, the Spaniard was completely against the idea.

But eventually she agreed, which is how Ingrid found herself with an overexcited toddler bouncing in her seat as the plane touched down in Norway, gripping onto Ingrid's wrist with an overwhelmingly large grin on her face. 

"Excited, Is?"

Ingrid smiled amusedly at the brunette, placing her hand on her curly hair to try and calm her down. 

It was an impossible task though, because Isabel just nodded enthusiastically, her head almost falling off at the speed at which she moved her head up and down. 

She was still excited as the plane emptied out, as she bounced down the aisle, her hand tight in Ingrid's as they exited the plane and walked on the tarmac, shivering with a smile at the cool autumn air. 

She knew that Norwegian summers were a lot colder than the summer back home, but the autumn was event colder and Isabel didn't realise how much the climate would drop in the four months since they last visited. 

She bounded alongside the tall Norwegian, only slowing down to a walk when Ingrid's hand moved from her hand to her shoulder, physically slowing her down.

"It's an airport, Is, you have to stay with me so you don't get lost, alright?"

She nodded, grinning up at Ingrid who just smiled at her, unable to wipe away her grin when the giddy child was accompanying her to Norway. 

She stared out the window throughout the whole drive from the airport to the hotel, clutching onto Ingrid's hand as they entered the building, full of other people in Norway clothes that matched Ingrid.

"Ingrid." 

She tugged on her shirt, coming to a stop just inside of the doors. 

"What's wrong, Is?"

Her smile had been replaced with an anxious frown that Ingrid had immediately caught onto, waiting for the child to say something. 

"What if... what if I forget my Norwegian?"

Ingrid crouched down, moving a stray hair out of Isabel's forehead. Her hand stayed on her head as she smiled shaking her head. 

"It will be ok. I can translate for you, yeah?"

She waited as Isabel nodded hesitantly before continuing. 

"Besides, your Norwegian is so good I don't think you'd be able to forget it! You're so smart, Is!"

Isabel nodded, biting her lip and Ingrid realised that she was actually quite nervous. Deciding to take a different approach, she stood up and pulled Isabel into a room off the side, sitting down in front of her and motioning for her to sit down as well. 

"What are you doing, Ingrid?"

"We're going to go through some Norwegian."

And that's what they did for the next half hour, they went through Norwegian words and phrases that Isabel already knew, Ingrid tickling her every time she got something right. 

She was successful in cheering the four year old up, her peals of laughter audible from all over the first floor of the hotel. 

With a newfound confidence and a refreshed excitement, Isabel gripped onto Ingrid's hand as they wandered out of the little side room and towards the Norwegian media team who were ready and waiting with their cameras.

Ingrid's hand over her face did little to stop the child from using some of her Norwegian words though, pushing the protective hand away and grinning up at the people behind the cameras.

"Hei! Jeg er Isabel og dette er min Ingrid!"

~~~~~~

She successfully charmed all of the Norwegian staff upon their first meeting, following Ingrid all the way up to their room with a smile on her face. She was happy to see a little bed beside Ingrid's big one, dumping her bag on it before bounding over to the other side of the room and throwing herself on the big bed.

Ingrid smiled, shaking her head with a sigh and pulling the child back, away from the bed and towards the bathroom. 

"It's bath time, Is!"

The child sighed disappointedly, following the Norwegian and sitting on the chair in the bathroom as Ingrid filled up the bathtub with water and soap. 

"Soo..." The child swung her legs beneath the chair, catching Ingrid's attention before continuing. "What do you normally do when I'm not here?"

Ingrid shrugged, smiling. 

"Usually I'll get into bed and miss you and your Mami! It's why I am always calling in the nights when I'm away, because I'm not busy and I'm by myself which makes me miss you more."

Isabel jumped down from the chair, standing beside where Ingrid was sitting on the ledge of the bath. 

"Can we call Mami after bath time?"

Ingrid nodded. 

"She would be sad if we didn't!" 

The bath was full, and Isabel held Ingrid's hand for stability as she climbed in, sinking down into the warm water with a satisfied sigh, leaning into Ingrid's large and soft hand. 

The Norwegian pulled her out of the bath when there was more water on the bathroom floor and Ingrid than there was in the bath, complaining loudly about getting everything wet. 

She giggled as Ingrid dried her off, carrying her in her towel over to where she'd dumped her backpack, pulling out the pyjamas that had been strategically placed right at the top of the bag. 

"Cuddles?"

Ingrid smiled. To be fair, the child looked comfortable in her fuzzy pyjamas, tucked underneath the blankets of Ingrid's bed and surrounded by a barricade of pillows. She took a quick picture, shaking her head. 

"We are going to ring Mami now, and then I'll have my own shower. Cuddles soon, though!" 

It satisfied Isabel, who immediately perked up even more at the though of her mother on the other side of the phone. Mapi picked up after the first ring and Ingrid immediately passed the phone off to the child. 

"Mami!" 

She grinned down the phone, holding it up so only her mouth was visible in the camera. Ingrid laughed, setting up a pillow in front of the child as a stand and resting the phone there so Mapi could actually see the child. 

"Hola mi pequena!" 

Mapi was in bed, the night light on but the rest of her room dark. 

"I miss you so much already, Is!"

Isabel nodded, her face falling only slightly. 

"I miss you too, Mami." She frowned, biting her lip. "I wish you could come with me and Ingrid."

Ingrid left them to it, having her own shower. She could hear Isabel's giggles from the bathroom as she got ready for bed, Mapi's animated voice also audible through the closed door. 

The Norwegian knew how lucky she was to have gained the dynamic duo when she moved to Barcelona. She never expected to find love in the warm city, let alone a child too. It was something that came completely unexpectedly, but something she also couldn't imagine her life without. 

Despite still not living with them, she was there every day. She would put Isabel to bed, read her stories, feed her dinner. She was there when she woke up, making breakfast and feeding the dog. 

She went on every walk to the park, a daily event that had become something of a ritual to the small family, the park meaning so much to them.

She was often mistaken as a mother, a balanced amount of fun, discipline and care. 

It was a soft topic, really. 

Ingrid wished more than anything that Isabel saw her as a mother, that all her thoughts and anxieties would be validated. She didn't want to just be Mapi's girlfriend, she wanted to be a mother too. 

Mapi told her that she was being silly, of course Ingrid was Isabel's mother as well. 

"You don't look after a child this much, you don't watch her grow from a baby to a child without being a mother." Mapi would insist. "You arrived when she was still so little. You and I are all she knows. We are both her mothers."

Ingrid would shake her head because it all seemed so wrong. If she was a mother, she wouldn't be called Ingrid. She would be on those forms from school and would receive the emails about Isabel's progress too. 

But she didn't, because she wasn't a mother. 

She finished up in the bathroom, but remained behind the door for a few more minutes, just listening to Mapi and Isabel interact, hearing how the centre back spoke to her child with so much adoration, so much love. How she listened to everything Isabel said and how Isabel hung onto Mapi's words like they came straight out of god's mouth. 

She heard the laughter, the happiness. She could see the smiles on their faces despite the wall that blocked her vision. 

But when she walked out, Isabel's smile brightened, shuffling over to make space for her. 

"Ingrid just came back, Mami!" 

The Norwegian moved into the camera frame, Mapi's face softening at the sight of her girlfriend. 

"Hola my love."

Ingrid blushed, her hand coming to rest around Isabel as they chatted away, allowing the child to slowly drift off as the two defenders spoke calmly through the phone. She was fighting to stay awake to listen but felt her eyes drooping as she became limp in Ingrid's arms. 

"Night Mami. Night Ingrid."

Ingrid.

~~~~~~

Isabel woke up before Ingrid the next morning, full of childish excitement about the day ahead. It was exciting, being here with Ingrid, and she wanted to make the most of every day. 

But she didn't want to wake Ingrid up from her sleep so instead she got out her drawing book and pencils, pulling Ingrid's phone off charge and calling Mapi simultaneously. 

It was the morning, so why wouldn't she say good morning to her mother like she had done every single morning of her life?

But Mapi was confused when her phone started ringing at 7am, frowning at her girlfriend's name that lit up the phone. 

She had planned on sleeping in until noon, probably, only rolling out of bed when absolutely necessary - to reluctantly go for a run or to the gym. The Spaniard had not expected this early morning wake up call and her stomach dropped, immediately assuming there was something wrong. 

"Ingrid?" It was a facetime call, but Mapi could only see the roof in the frame, the phone not held up properly. 

"Hola Mami!" 

Despite the low volume, the four year old's voice was way too cheerful for this early in the morning. 

"Isabel, what are you doing on Ingrid's phone? Why are you awake so early?"

The child frowned at her mother's chides, biting her lip and shrugging. 

"To say mornin', mami! And I'm being extra quiet with my voice because I don't wanna wake Ingrid up."

Mapi smiled, her heart melting all over again at her own daughter's words. 

"Ok, Is. What are you going to do while you wait for Ingrid to wake up?"

She didn't answer verbally, instead picking up the phone and awkwardly angling it onto the empty page in front of her. 

"'M drawing!" 

Mapi could only chuckle, settling down in her bed and resting her phone on the pillow as she spoke easily to her daughter. 

She laughed even more as Ingrid's alarm went off, the surprise making Isabel jump right out of her skin before she made a quick recovery, scampering off towards the big bed and poking Ingrid on the side. 

"I know, Is, wake up time."

She heard Mapi's laughter, frowning in confusion as her eyes opened slowly. She was in Norway, Mapi was in Spain? It was too early to realise that the laughter was actually just coming through a phone speaker. 

"Morning sleepyhead." 

Ingrid's eyes scanned the room, searching for the source of her girlfriend's voice before they finally landed on the table on the other side of the room, a full set up of paper and pencils, Ingrid's phone laying face up beside. 

"Did you ring Mami, Is?"

She sat up, her feet coming to rest on the floor beside the bed and her hand reaching around Isabel's waist as the child nodded guiltily. 

"I say mornin' to Mami every day!" 

Ingrid sighed, standing up and walking over to the table, chuckling at Mapi's tired face as she lay in bed, her hair a mess and the blanket tucked up to her chin. 

"You don't have to sleep with the air conditioning on when I'm not there, Maria."

The Norwegian smiled lightly. It was a passing comment she made a couple years ago about how she liked sleeping in colder rooms. Ever since, Mapi had insisted on the air conditioning being turned on despite her own preference for the warmth. 

She would say Ingrid would warm her up, that Ingrid is her princesa, she had to have the best conditions. 

But Ingrid wasn't even in the country and the Spaniard was clearly cold in her bed despite her best efforts to cover up with the duvet. 

She shook her head, her face falling momentarily. 

"I like it." 

Ingrid's voice melted at how soft Mapi's voice was, wanting nothing more than to wrap her up in a hug and warm her up herself. 

"We slept in the cold too!" 

Isabel had climbed as high as she could on Ingrid until the Norwegian relented, helping her up and holding her on her side.

"Were you cold, Is?" Ingrid frowned slightly, worried that she had made the room too cold. Changing the thermometer was a habit, she realised. 

"No, because you are so warm, Ingrid!" 

Mapi smiled, her forehead creasing with happiness and perhaps a little bit of jealousy.

She missed the pair of them, of course she did. She didn't realise how empty her world would be without her daughter until she got home from the airport, no child to feed, to put to bed, to entertain.

No reason to watch cartoons on the TV either, but she found herself tempted to switch on the inane shows that Isabel loved so much.

She didn't need to leave the bedroom door open because there was no chance that Isabel would wake up in the night and want to come and sleep in her bed, but she left it open out of habit, only realising that it was pointless once she had already buried herself under the covers of the inanely cold room.

It was never as warm when she wasn't in Ingrid's arms.

There was nobody to talk to when she was curled up in bed, nobody to laugh with or cry with. She wasn't used to going about her day alone, not used to being so unoccupied, so bored. 

The silence was too eerie for Mapi as she sat on the sofa, even Baloo and Bagheera suffering from the absence of the energetic and excitable child and the calming Norwegian.

But they were in Norway, perfectly content away from home and without the comfort of their Mapi, right there whenever they wanted it.

It was devastating, really, realising that Isabel didn't need her anymore. It felt like just yesterday that she had sobbed her heart out at Alexia's, only calming down when her Mami was in sight, content to be warmed by the tattooed arms.

Apparently, Ingrid noticed the way Mapi's eyes glazed over slightly, her features softening as she read the situation with practiced ease.

"It would have been warmer with Mami here though, right?"

Isabel frowned slightly, looking at her mother through the phone screen.

She nodded, looking back up at Ingrid.

"Mami has the warmest arms, Ingrid. She makes me so warm."

Mapi had to hold back her tears, smiling gratefully at Ingrid who could only nod with pride.

"You make me warm too, my lion cub."

~~~~~~

Their phone call with Mapi lasted a while, she stayed on facetime as they both changed and as Ingrid braided Isabel's hair back for the day. She was very proud of herself, wearing a Norway jersey that Ingrid had adjusted to fit her. It was a match worn one and was entirely too big when she first put it on, but she refused to wear anything else to support Ingrid when she was playing with her country.

Ingrid had pulled out her sewing needles, shortening the length and sleeves. It still swallowed the child, but at least she could wear it without the hem getting in the way of her legs when she walked.

She was excited to show off the big 7 on her back, the name that belonged to her Ingrid.

It was her claim to the brunette in front of all the Norwegian players and she was so sure they would be so impressed that she was so close with their coveted midfielder.

She had a grin on her face as they went through the Norwegian phrases she had learnt and as she pestered Ingrid about the different players that she would be meeting today. She knew Caro, of course, but that was all. She had seen the others on TV, from a distance when she came to watch with Mapi.

But not once had she met any of them, always slightly anxious around new people and entirely unconfident in her Norwegian speaking and comprehending abilities. She never believed Mapi or Ingrid when they told her it would be ok, that Ingrid could translate.

It was Norwegian or nothing for the child.

Ingrid assumed that was the reason why Isabel's grip on her hand tightened significantly as they walked down the corridor. She assumed it was why her leg suddenly became the best hiding spot the child could think of.

There was no other explanation as to why her entire demeanour changed as soon as they left the room, from the excited and optimistic child she knew to an anxious and stoic child that she could barely recognise.

She knew better than to say anything though, knowing that if she started crying now she likely wouldn't stop until they were alone again. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option for Ingrid because she had to train, she couldn't just sit with Isabel all day.

As much as she would love to.

It was on purpose that they were the first in the dining room for breakfast, allowing them to make their way through the buffet slowly and sit on an empty table.

Isabel perked up when she noticed the empty room but it was only brief as slowly, all of the players trickled in, their voices loud and fast.

Ingrid squeezed the little girl closer to her, her heart breaking at the way Isabel tensed in her lap.

"Look, Is!" Ingrid pointed over at the door. "Caro's just arrived!"

She forced on a smile, her hands shaking and her breathing rapid.

"Hei, Caro." She whispered softly, not registering that the familiar face was on the other side of the room, completely occupied by the unfamiliar figure approaching.

"Ingrid." She tugged on the brunette's shorts, reaching her arms towards her. Ingrid understood exactly what she was asking for, pulling her onto her lap and wrapping her arms around her.

It was Frida who sat beside Ingrid, smiling as she placed her plate on the table and pulled her chair in.

"It's just Frida, Is, she's not scary at all." The brunette smiled apologetically at Frida as she loosened her hold on Isabel, encouraging her to look at the blonde.

She turned, a shy smile on her face as she leaned into Ingrid.

"Hi Isabel!" She grinned, quickly making Isabel more comfortable. "I can't believe I'm finally meeting you! Ingrid has told me so much about you."

She spoke in slow Norwegian, praying that the child would understand. She had heard all about her problems with confidence in the language - it was the only reason she hadn't met her before.

The blonde felt herself relax in relief as Isabel nodded, replying in hesitant Norwegian.

"Nice to meet you, Frida."

Ingrid grinned, placing a kiss on the top of Isabel's head which prompted the child to look up for affirmation.

"Good?"

"Perfect, Is! I'm so proud of you."

Frida could only smile at their interaction, completely aware of how much Ingrid adored the little girl, how much she worried that she would never be enough for her.

Frida knew she was more than enough. 

The table filled up slowly, but Isabel buried her head back into Ingrid again, apparently too scared to meet anyone else during breakfast. It changed slightly as they left the dining hall when she spotted Caro from afar, scampering over to the familiar forward and barging into the back of her legs.

Ingrid thanked her Barcelona teammate when Isabel was deposited at her room maybe five minutes later, waving goodbye to the child.

They didn't have long in the room, just enough time for Ingrid to change into her training clothes and quickly throw some paper, pencils and snacks in Isabel's backpack.

"If you get bored or tired or feel sick or anything, min elske, come straight to me, alright? Or you can find Caro if you want but make sure you tell someone so we can help you, alright?"

It was the same deal as at Barcelona training. Her time spent at training had decreased dramatically since starting school and usually Camila was there with her, but she would always sit on a rug under the same tree, occupying herself with drawing or colouring or another miscellaneous activity when she became bored of watching the football.

Usually, Baloo was right beside her, her leash tied onto the tree which allowed her a little bit of room to roam freely when Isabel wasn't holding her favourite animal.

But Baloo wasn't there and neither were the people that Isabel knew, the people she was comfortable enough with to say when something was wrong. Usually, things didn't go wrong.

But it was clear that the child was on edge, her emotions all over the place as she adjusted to Norway and all these new people.

"Phone to call Mami?"

She looked up hopefully and Ingrid smiled, putting her phone in the front pocket of the bag.

"To call Mami, Is. Don't play with this because if it breaks we won't be able to talk to her at all!"

Isabel nodded, letting Ingrid put the backpack on her back.

"Go time?"

The midfielder nodded, ignoring Isabel's hand that reached out to grab Ingrid and instead picking her up, settling her on her hip and holding her easily with one hand.

"Mami says I'm too big to be carried, Ingrid."

Ingrid laughed quietly, planting a soft kiss on her head.

"Maybe. But you'll always be our little girl."

~~~~~~

It turned out that Ingrid was worried for a good reason.

She had kept an eye on Isabel for most of training as she watched them train, as she did her drawing. She watched some, drew for a bit, over and over again. It was a cycle, really, and she wasn't getting bored.

But apparently she tried to call Mapi and Mapi didn't pick up.

That is where the tears had come from. That is why Caro had run the few metres over immediately picking her up and carrying her out of the view of the rest of the Norwegian players, Ingrid following quickly behind. 

She was inconsolable because she wanted to talk to her Mami, because she missed her Mami.

Mapi said she would pick up the phone when she called, she had promised her child that she was the most important thing in her life and that she would drop anything if she saw Ingrid's name come up on her phone.

It was why Isabel had been so keen to come to Norway, reassured over and over again that if anything went wrong, if she was sad, scared or just wanted to hear Mapi's voice she would be able to call and hear it.

But she had called and Mapi hadn't picked up. She remembers frowning, looking around and calling again.

And again.

And again.

By the fourth time, her hands were shaking.

By the fifth, she had to bite her lip to stop it from trembling so much.

By the sixth, there were tears in her eyes, beginning to slowly slip down her face.

But the seventh was the final straw, it seemed, and as soon as the straw was pulled out the child collapsed into sobs. Cries for her Mami, for her home.

Loud cries in Spanish, desperate for the home comfort of being able to speak her first language without worrying about any language barriers. 

Crying because she called seven times and Mapi hadn't picked up once. She said she would drop anything, because Isabel was the most important. She promised.

But she didn't.

Maybe she'd been in Norway too long. Maybe Mapi realised how much easier her life was without her daughter, how much better.

It was only day one. 

She knew she missed home, but it felt so far away.

Even as Ingrid held her close and rocked her as she had done so many times before. As she whispered quiet Spanish as the cries quietened down, allowing Isabel to whimper in her arms instead. 

"M-mami didn't pick up, Ingrid." The hurt in her voice was almost painful for Ingrid to hear. "Mami has more important things now I'm gone from her."

Immediately, Ingrid shook her head because there was no way she would let Isabel think that was true in even the slightest. 

Because everybody in Mapi's life knew that the little girl she called her daughter was the number one top priority at all times. There were never excuses, never changes. 

She was Mapi's everything and Ingrid knew that if the Spaniard caught wind of her daughter thinking this she would be completely and utterly heartbroken. 

It wasn't true. 

It was perhaps one of the most blindingly false statements Ingrid had ever heard. 

"That is not true, Isabel, and I don't want you to ever think or say that again."

Her voice was stern and left no room for questions and Isabel whimpered quietly.

"Mami loves you so, so much, Is. You will always be the most important thing in her life."

Her voice softened easily, but she frowned as Isabel held up seven of her fingers. 

"This many times. She didn't pick up."

Ingrid adjusted Isabel's position, facing her and looking her straight in the eye. 

"She might be driving, she might have left her phone in her room. She didn't ignore you, I promise."

The child looked up at her, the tearful eyes hopeful. 

"Promise?"

She held out her pinky which Ingrid shook gently. 

"I promise."

~~~~~~

Ingrid thinks that the whole incident may have been what triggered the homesickness. 

She wasn't sleeping in her own bed at all, only settling after hours of fidgeting and whimpering in Ingrid's arms, waking up after a couple hours of restless sleep.  

She was tearful all the time, always clinging onto Ingrid, reluctantly releasing her whenever she had to train. 

She only ate what was practically forced down her throat, claiming she was full, that she didn't feel hungry. 

Mapi thinks it is her fault, she shouldn't have gone to the wedding, she should have picked up the phone that day. It's all she can think about as she sits through the ceremony, almost booking a flight from her seat at the reception. 

But Ingrid was telling her not to, that it'd all be ok. She could deal with it for a few more days while the wedding was still on and Mapi could come afterwards if she wasn't getting any better.

But Ingrid desperately wanted to prove she could do this, she wanted to show Mapi and everyone else that she was a perfectly sufficient guardian to Isabel too. She had been there for so long but people still questioned it, questioned why she was so close with the little girl. 

It seemed so obvious to the Norwegian. She loved Mapi, she loved Isabel. Surely a further explanation was unnecessary. 

Mapi was entirely ridden with guilt, having left her phone in her hotel room as she reunited with her family. It was stupid, she knew, but she just hadn't been thinking. 

Ingrid's attempts to stop her from beating herself up about it were futile, especially since Isabel stopped trying to call, only speaking to Mapi when Ingrid held her and called the centre back before bed. 

She was scared, she didn't want to experience that rejection again. 

Match day came and so did Gudrun, only allowed into the hotel that morning so Ingrid could focus on the game. She was starting and the staff had told her no distractions, not until after the game was finished. 

Isabel loved Gudrun, the older Norwegian always spoiling and doting over the little girl with the bright eyes and big smile. It was unusual for Ingrid's mother to see Isabel so sad, so stoic when she arrived, malleable in Ingrid's arms as she was passed off. 

"She's homesick, Mama." Ingrid frowned and Gudrun could only stroke the top of her head. "She misses Mapi but won't call because there was an incident a few days ago where Mapi didn't pick up."

Gudrun smiled weakly, trying to silently reassure her daughter. 

"She'll be alright." She looked down at the child. "Have you had fun with Ingrid this week?"

Isabel looked over at the tall Norwegian who tried to hide the exhaustion from her face. It had been another restless night. 

She nodded easily, smiling. 

"Ingrid holds me when I can't sleep. And she let me use her as my climbing frame all week. So much fun with Ingrid."

Ingrid could have cried but she held it back, Gudrun smiling proudly at her daughter. 

"Ingrid is one of my favourite people in the world."

Isabel agreed easily. 

"Me too!" 

Gudrun hugged her daughter goodbye, letting Isabel place a kiss on her cheek before they left, heading out to the park for the few hours they had before the game. 

She played on the playground for a bit but retreated back to Gudrun when she couldn't communicate with the other children. All the people she had spoken to so far slowed down, aware that she was a Spanish child and Norwegian was her second or third language. 

The strangers on the playground didn't know that, so they couldn't communicate. 

And the Norwegian could easily read the situation as Isabel flopped onto the bench beside her, her sigh entirely too emotional for a four year old 

"What's bothering you, Isabel?"

She huffed again, climbing into Gudrun's lap and leaning backwards. 

"I miss Mami and Spain." She missed playing in the park with other kids, she missed being able to sit between Mapi and Ingrid after dinner, watching cartoons. She missed Patri and Pina teasing her and she missed Alexia and Frido's hugs. She missed the familiarity of home and she missed knowing all the players at training. She missed the freedom she had at the Barcelona campus and she missed her dog and cat. 

"I know you do. Mami and Spain miss you too."

But Isabel frowned, still stuck on the reason why her Mami didn't pick up the phone even though she tried so many times. 

"But-" She trailed off but Gudrun hummed encouragingly. "But Mami said she would pick up..."

Gudrun sighed quietly, hugging the child closer. 

"That doesn't mean she doesn't miss you, Isabel. She misses you so much."

"I haven't seen her in so long, I am scared she forgot."

"Forgot what?" Gudrun frowned easily, concerned about where her thoughts were. 

"Me." Isabel's voice was impossibly quiet as her eyes filled up with tears and Gudrun's heart broke at how small she sounded. 

She had a split second to decide how to deal with this. She could pass the problem onto Ingrid or Mapi, or she could deal with it herself and maybe help out the young couple. She could smile and tell Isabel that everything was perfect and happy and Mapi loved her or she could be more serious and try to get through to the child. 

So she sighed, adjusting Isabel on her lap so they were looking at each other. 

"I'm Ingrid's Mami, you know that right?"

Isabel nodded, staring up at the Norwegian. 

"And I live in Norway. Ingrid lives in Spain with you, doesn't she?"

The child nodded again, unsure where this was going. 

"Ingrid moved away when she was young, a long time ago. And I was so sad. So sad. I missed her every single day and my heart hurt because my little girl didn't feel like my little girl anymore. She had grown up."

"Mami said I would always be her little girl."

Isabel frowned, not able to draw any comparisons.

"And Ingrid is still mine. But like Ingrid did, you're growing up. This is your first time away from your Mami, and you are so far away from her for such a long time."

Isabel nodded. 

"I miss Mami a lot."

"Ingrid's first time away from home was when she was 11, a week in a place 4 hours away. I cried every night because I missed my little girl so much. And I know your Mami is the same. She is so sad without you, Is. You are so little and you are all she cares about. You are absolutely everything to your Mami and she misses every single thing about you."

Isabel's lip trembles, her eyes beginning to water. 

"And she missed your calls. She is so angry with herself because she didn't pick up because she would have much preferred to talk to you than to talk to anyone at that wedding. You are so important to her and you always will be. Just like Ingrid is so important to me."

Isabel nodded, taking a deep breath.

"You talk to Ingrid whenever she calls?"

Gudrun nodded easily. 

"And I get so excited because I love talking to her so much. But sometimes I miss calls too. Sometimes Ingrid gets upset and I am angry at myself. I love her so much and instead of picking up her calls I was busy with something that was nowhere near as important. Because nothing is as important to me as my children. Since they were born and until I die, they will always be first. And do you know why?"

"Because you love them." 

Gudrun nodded. 

"Because I love them." She confirmed with a nod. "And Mami missed your call, but she didn't mean to. I have missed Ingrid's calls before even though I love her so much."

"Mami loves me."

Gudrun smiled, pulling her in for a hug. 

"Yes, Mami loves you so so much. She misses how you feel in her arms, she misses the way you smell, she misses the way your eyes light up when you see something that excites you. She misses catching you when you run into her after school, she misses holding you after a game and watching you with her friends."

"How do you know all this."

"Because I am a Mami too. Mami's are all the same, we all love every single thing about our children."

Isabel nodded, silent for a moment before taking a deep breath. 

"Does Ingrid... does she love me like that too? Because I think I love her like I love Mami."

Gudrun squeezed her tighter, not a shadow of a doubt in her answer. There was no hesitation whatsoever.

"Of course she does."

Isabel was quiet again. Ingrid was Ingrid. She wasn't Mami, because that was Mapi. She wasn't Mama... because she was Ingrid.

But why was she just Ingrid? Why wasn't she Mama. She was like Mapi, really. She played a lot, cooked meals. Dropped her at school and picked her up sometimes too. 

She had rules for Isabel, things she could and could not do. When Isabel broke the rules, she would tell her off, just like Mapi would. She would give her consequences, although she was much better at sticking to them than Mapi. 

Isabel knew she didn't have a Papi like her friends at school. She had a Mami instead. 

And an Ingrid. 

"I think I love Ingrid like a Mami too."

~~~~~~

Apparently, Gudrun's words got through to Isabel, who insisted on calling her mother as soon as they were at the stadium. 

The Norwegian happily obliged, dialling her daughter's girlfriend and sighing in relief when the call immediately connected. It wasn't facetime, so Mapi couldn't see her daughter's beaming face, or the fact they were already sat in their seats in the family and friends section. 

"Gudrun?"

"Mami? Holaaa!"

The Spaniard's entire body relaxed right then and there, after what feels like months of worrying that her daughter hated her, that she would never forgive her. She had been so tense for the past few days, completely occupied by her anxieties. 

"My Is." Gudrun could hear the relief in her voice. "I miss you so much."

"I miss you too Mami." She frowned at the phone, looking up at Gudrun. "Where is she?"

The Norwegian frowned. 

"At home, Isabel, in Spain." 

But Isabel shook her head, pointing at the phone. 

"Her face?"

Mapi understood before Gudrun, quickly switching to a facetime call. 

"There she is!" Mapi beamed and her daughter returned the expression. "My little girl."

Isabel's smile grew and she leant back into Gudrun's embrace. 

"I'm your little girl." She sighed contentedly. "I love you Mami."

"I love you so much." She waited for Isabel to nod before continuing. "And I want you to know something, Is."

"What?"

"You are the most important thing in the whole entire world. You are my number one. Always."

Isabel just nodded casually. 

"I know."

Mapi was taken aback, surprised by her child's casual demeanour. She had expected to have to do some persuasion, based on the reports she was getting from Ingrid every night. The reports that had broken her heart over and over again, stomping on it and kicking it around.

"How do you- I mean, it's good you kno- it's true."

Isabel smiled happily at her mother's stuttering. 

"Gudrun told me that all Mami's are the same, and she loves Ingrid a whole lot. Ingrid is very important. It means that I matter most to you, like Ingrid matters most to her."

Mapi smiled gratefully at the camera, making a note to thank her girlfriend's mother profusely when she was off the phone call. 

"You are so right, my lion cub."

They stayed on the phone call throughout the whole game, Isabel flipping the camera as Ingrid walked out onto the field so Mapi could watch, her daughter's commentary right in the speaker as the game continued. 

She was still at the wedding, but had the afternoon in her room alone before the final ceremony that night as the game finished, she started to get ready, still on the facetime call as Gudrun lead Isabel down towards the field and as she was lifted over the barricade into Ingrid's arms. 

"It's Mami, Ingrid!"

The Norwegian was exhausted, sweaty and sore, but all she could feel was pure relief. 

Because Isabel was beaming, not a tear in sight. She was on the phone to Mapi which meant she had asked to call her because Ingrid told Gudrun to not bring it up - it had been a soft topic over the past couple of days. 

But there she was, her girlfriend all dressed up, hair and makeup done. 

It was the antithesis of Ingrid, really, her post match appearance a stark contrast to Mapi's pre dinner one. 

But both women felt nothing but happiness in that moment, relief washing over them as they realised everything was ok. Isabel was happy again, for now at least. 

They had four more days in Norway, the homesicknesses would surely make it's return at some point, but now she had Mapi to talk to whenever she wanted. Somehow her entire attitude had changed over the past few hours, apparently an easy switch that Ingrid just hadn't been able to find. 

But one look at her mother with a proud and satisfied smile settled upon her face told Ingrid everything she needed to know. 

So as Isabel scampered over to Caro, the phone still in her hand, Ingrid moved towards her mother, thanking her profusely as she hugged her tight. 

"I had no idea how much that little girl loves you, Ingrid."

Ingrid frowned. "What?"

She had told her so many times about the love she had for Isabel, the love that was so clearly reciprocated. 

"It's an exponential love, growing so quickly. She is a good girl, I am so proud of you."

Her frown changed quickly into a smile, her eyes filling up with tears. 

"Thank you, Mama."

She felt like Gudrun had no idea how much her daughter needed that affirmation, the encouragement that she was something to Isabel, someone important. 

But Gudrun knew. Of course she did. 

~~~~~~

Ingrid finally felt relaxed, the child dozing off slowly in her arms, finally relieved of all her sadness and stress. Her hands carded through the child's curly hair, whispering soft affirmations in her ears to send her to sleep. 

She was less restless that night, but still insistent on sleeping with Ingrid, her own bed so cold and empty on the other side of the room. 

But she was happy, finally, and for the first time since landing in Norway, Ingrid felt confident that she could do it. She could do it without Mapi, no matter how hard it was. She was more than just Mapi’s girlfriend, she was a real guardian of her child.

"Good night, Is. I love you so much."

Isabel hummed contentedly, snuggling closer into Ingrid's warm body. 

"I love you too, Mama."

The Norwegian could only freeze, her eyes filling up with happy tears, placing a kiss on the child's small head. 

Because Isabel hadn't been prompted at all. She meant it, she really saw Ingrid as her mother. 

And that meant the world to the Norwegian, who had spent so much time worrying that she would never be enough for the child, that she would always be an outsider within their little family, despite Mapi's intense efforts to try and reassure her that she was wrong. 

And maybe, just maybe, this was the start of Ingrid finally understanding that she really could be part of their little family.

Or even better, she would realise that she already was.

Ingrid: She called me Mama. I can't believe she called me Mama. 

Mapi: I can.  You are her Mama. She loves you so much.

~~~~~~ sorry this took so long and hope you enjoyed! 

tell me what you think!!

have a good day :)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Someone New 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include angst, pining, romcom tropes, and some darker elements later in the series. Some triggers may not be specifically tagged. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This fic will contain explicit content. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You've had a crush on your best friend for years, but you're slapped in the face with reality when he takes things to the next level with his girlfriend.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Thor

Note: please enjoy the first chapter!

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

“No, no, not the pink, red,” you cup your hand over your ear pod, “exactly what it says on the order sheet.” 

Were anyone to see you, sitting in the dirt, with a brush in hand, all alone, they might think you’re a bit out there. You, talking to the air, dusting off a clump of soil, orchestrating your own voice with the bristles. You dip your head as you focus on what the voice in your ear is saying. 

“I’m not trying to be difficult,” you argue, “I put in the order weeks ago. A red bow. I have the receipt– I mean sure, pink or red doesn’t matter to me but it’s not my birthday.” 

“We’ll see what we can do,” the woman relents. It’s not exactly a triumph but as close to as you can hope. If it’s pink, you’ll just have to take the fall. The damn fondant will be devoured by the night’s end anyhow. 

You hang up with a double tap on the ear pod and your playlist resumes. You go back to trying to uncover the shape caked in layers of muck, turning the brush to chip away the rougher bits with the pointed tip. The work is tedious but it has to be. You can’t risk damaging the relic nestled inside. 

The abrupt chiming of your ringtone once more sounds through the bluetooth earpiece. You huff and hit the pod with the heel of your hand. You greet the call with only your name. 

“Are you still on site?” Your boss, Arturo asks. 

“Yep, still here,” you still your hand and twist your arm, pulling back the end of your glove to see your watch, “just a bit longer. You know I have that thing tonight.” 

“Uh, yes, I recall,” he says dully as you hear paper shuffling, “you got time to chat?” 

“Sure,” you keep the cluster of dirt and the brush in one hand and use your other to push yourself to your feet, “I just gotta catalogue this before I finish the day.” 

“Well, I have good news and bad news,” he begins as you carefully walk between the cordoned off patches. The whole place is a maze of where and where not to step. You go into the tent and put down the half uncovered idol. It’s brittle, made of hide and yew, with a bit of bone. “Lucia is pregnant.” 

“Oh? That’s great,” you furrow your brow, wondering what that has to do with you. 

“Means she can’t travel for a while. She’s adverse to long term commitments at the moment so…” 

“So…” you trail off as you label the mound of dirt and make notes for the next day. 

“So, you want her assignment?” 

“Which one?” You peel off your gloves and shake off the excess filth. 

“Norway. It can be a bit dingy but the landscape is nice.” 

“Norway? For how long?” You close up the ledger and tuck it away on the shelf. You pass between the tables of artifacts as you pull out your phone. 

“Could be a while but I figured you never get to go very far. You’ve been pent up in-state for so long, you could use the vacation.” 

“Oh? Well, I…” you scroll through your phone and see the notifications. Emails confirming delivery, messages asking if everything is sorted. “I’d have to think about it…” 

It’s evasion more than indecision. You know you don’t want to go. You can’t go. Your whole life is here. You have an apartment and friends and… Steve. Your best friend.  

“Make sure you do think about it. It’s a great opportunity. Especially for a junior anthropologist. Lucia won’t be on leave forever.” 

“I know. I’ll think about it.” 

You hang up and pluck the earbud out. Ugh, you’re covered in dirt and dust. You don’t have time to go home and shower. You knew you wouldn’t. You have to be at the venue before everyone else. You can change there and try to wash up in the sink. Whatever, no one’s going to be looking at you anyway. It’s Peggy’s night. Yay. 

You lock the fence and tug one last time to make sure it’s secure. You drag your boots across the thinning grass to your car parked on a stretch of gravel. You drop inside and hit start. You connect to the bluetooth and get some tunes going. You buckle your seat belt as you check the mirrors. You’re probably going to have to speed there. 

You back out as the music blares from the speakers. It’s not loud enough to drown out your thoughts. Why did you agree to this? Peggy doesn’t even like you. Oh, but she likes Steve. She is his girlfriend and you are only his best friend. You’re supportive. You keep your mouth shut and smile. 

Ugh. You squeeze the wheel until your knuckles hurt. You know why you offered to help plan the surprise. You’re pathetic but you’re not delusional. It meant you got more time with him. There hasn’t been much of that since Peggy came along, not just the two of you. 

Classic, isn’t it? In love with your best friend. Friends since college. Friends forever, you vowed naively, thinking that forever would never come. Nothing lasts that long, you can only hope to outlast Peggy. 

And if you don’t, maybe this crush will finally run its course. 

💟

Red and white streamers decorate a long table set with trays. There’s a banner over it that reads ‘Happy Birthday, Peggy’, and a stack of gifts already forming in the corner. Guests drift in with anticipation as you hurry around to check off all the items on your list. 

You fix a small vase of flowers, trying to hide the droopy one in the back, and tug a wrinkle out of a tablecloth. You smile and wave at those who are early as you weave between them. You pull out your phone and lean it on the clipboard angle in the crook of your elbow. They’re on their way, okay. Keep it cool. 

As you come to the kitchen door, you nearly collide with someone else. Sam touches your arm gently as he keeps you from tripping backward. You gasp and hug the clipboard with a wobbly grin. 

“Hey,” you greet breathily, “you’re here.” 

You look down at the guest list and check him off. 

“Ah, figured I’d make an appearance,” he kids, “Rogers would take it pretty rough if his best pal wasn’t here.” 

“Please, don’t start that with Bucky again,” you warn as you point the pen in his direction, “the two of you, in fact, are seated separately.” 

“No fun!” He whines dramatically. 

You scrunch your lips at him and peer around. Yes, none of this has been fun. Caterers, servers, tables, space, food! Yes, you were going to check on the cake. Your sole squeaks as you twist sharply and go to slam your hand into the door. 

“Hey,” Sam blocks your way with his arm, “before you disappear, you’re still wearing your boots.” He points to your feet, “in case you’re wondering about the snail trail.” 

He sweeps his finger up in a gesture alluding to your previous path. You glance over at the dirt littered in your stead then down at your dusty boots. You sigh and hang your head back. 

“Fuck!” You snarl. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll find a broom,” he assures you, “while you take a breath. You need it.” 

“I can’t, Sam, they’re already on their way. I still have to get everyone in their place and… quiet,” you scowl, “ugh, this is gonna be so bad. I don’t know what I’m doing.” 

“So… why’d you do it?” He asks as he drags his hand away from the doorframe. You look at him and blink slowly. You shrug. 

“I’m a good friend,” you insist. 

He gives a skeptical hum and nods, “sure are,” he grumbles, “too good, if you ask me.” 

You throw up your hand before turning into the kitchen. You don’t have time to worry about him. Is he jealous that you’re helping Steve so much? Or does he know something else? You don’t let the seed sprout as you nearly cry out at the sight of the cake. 

A pink bow. Jeez. Of course. You check the cake off your list, nearly tearing through the paper. It’s better than nothing, even if Peggy never settles for less than the best. 

There’s no time to complain or send it back. Your phone vibrates again. Five minutes. Your heart is racing. Why? This isn’t even your party. You just want it to be perfect for Steve. You hate to disappoint him. Ever. 

You really shouldn’t care that much but you do. Like so many other things in your life. 

💟

The crowd can't keep quiet. There's a low buzz that ripples through the guests. A wave of anticipation that's spread like a deadly virus. 

You feel a nudge in your side and peek over as Bucky sends Sam a sneer and wriggles in place. Those two never let up. You hiss at them to quit and they look as guilty as a pair of unruly children. 

"He keeps tickling me," Bucky whispers. 

"No, I'm tryna fix his hair, look at this mess," Sam flicks a strand away from Bucky's cheek, "this is a nice event, Buck, not your living room." 

"Both of you," you warn.  

"You're bitching at me when Indiana Jones here brought the dig with her," Bucky mutters. 

You look down. Dammit. You still didn't change out of your boots. You roll your eyes. It's not about you. It's Steve's night. Er, Peggy's.  

You shake out your nerves and shake your head, "you two," you step behind Bucky and insert yourself between the men, "behave." 

"Yes, mom," Sam snickers as Bucky groans and tries to smooth the few shanks that have slipped free of his low ponytail. 

You exhale and give an exasperated look to the door. You really can't handle them on top of everything else. You just want this night to end already. All your hard work and you won't even get to enjoy any of it. 

"Everybody," Natasha hisses as she runs away from the doorway, "they're coming." 

The group quiets, as much as they can, a collective bated breath as you wait and listen. The lull is unbearable as the heat of the bodies around you pricks sweat down your neck and across your scalp. The door begins to open, almost as if in slow motion, and as the guest of honour is revealed, you cry out. 

"SURPRISE!" The eruption of the chorus has your head spinning as Peggy gives a melodramatic swoon, grabbing at Steve's arm as she leans on him heavily. 

She parts only to fan her eyes and squeal. "Oh my god, you guys!"  

She teeters on her heels as people holler happy birthday and her group of girlfriends flutter over to wrap her up in a cacophony of giggles and preening. You smile, a bittersweet twitch in your cheek as you watch her spin back to Steve and pull him into a kiss.  

You're happy for them really, proud to see all your effort come to fruition, but you just feel so hollow. For an instant, you think it should be you right there, gushing in glee over the celebration of another year, with Steve beside you.  

You gulp down the jealousy and wiggle your nose to ward away the tears. That's a stupid thought. If it hasn't happened in more than a decade, it's not going to happen now. 

💟

As the guests disperse into their own conversations, you finally manage to wade through to the happy couple. You approach with a small wave at Steve. He doesn't see you, he's watching Peggy as she chats with Natasha. 

"Hi," you call above the din, "so, you like it?" 

Steve turns to you, confusion stitching his forehead before he registers your questions. He nods and gives a smile, "it's amazing, you did so good!" 

The sparkle in his eyes, the perfect line of his jaw, the way he's looking at you, it makes your heart rend. You tilt your head and dig your toe into the floor bashfully, "thanks. I'm so happy to see it come together." 

"Um, the cake," he brings his index finger up, "I was hoping to bring it out soon." 

"Er, yeah, it's back in the kitchen. About that–" 

"Great," he claps your shoulder and brushes by you, "just gonna put the finishing touches on it." 

"Hm, what do you–" 

He's gone before you can finish your question. You deflate just a little, setting your feet flat as you sway aimlessly. The motion hooks Peggy's attention. You give a sheepish smile as you wring your hands. 

"Oh, uh, just came over to wish you a happy birthday," you chirp, "are you enjoying it?" 

"Ah, I didn't see you here, I thought maybe you were busy…" she gives a pointed look to your boots, "working." 

"Um, yeah, no," you fidget, "always happy to come support you two." 

"Where is Steve?" She gazes past you, shouldering by dismissively, "he was just…." 

Right. You nod and flit away in embarrassment. You can't say you ever got along with Peggy. Where you're accommodating, she's a bit too demanding. Different people, but you don't dislike her. You just don't mesh. Or perhaps it's just that you don't get what Steve sees in her. Especially when you're right there. 

Enough. This isn't about you or your stupid dumb heart. Just smile and go with it. 

The kitchen door swings open, a noise barely discernible above the hue, and the rattling wheels of a cart underline the steady drone. A lull washes over the crowd as they part. You move with the tide and face the sudden divide. 

A hush falls over the room as Steve pushes the cake across the floor. He stops before Peggy as she faces him, another feigned pout of surprise. He grins proudly at her as you stare curiously at the top of the cake. 

"Oh, pink?" She comments on the fondant bow as her eyes flick over to you. She quickly corrects herself an admires the double tiered dessert, "Steve, it's so pretty." 

You know she hates the colour. You recall the one time you wore a pink bow in your hair and she made a similar comment. Cute, she remarked in her roundabout way in her oh so sophisticated accent. 

You manufacture a smile and step closer as Steve beckons to the guest. Tension stills the air, almost paralyzing the crowd. You squint at the heart shaped box perched atop the bow. 

"Is this for me?" Peggy asks if it's not obvious. 

Steve nods, his cheeks tinting pink, as you notice how he wipes his palms on his pants. Peggy delicately takes the box from the pedestal of fondant and your ribs ache from the pounding of your heart. You curl your fingers until your nails dig into your skin as you watch him kneel beside her. 

She doesn't notice as she opens the box on its hinges. Her lips part and she stares at the contents. She looks over at Steve to find him on his knee and she claps her hand over her mouth. Her eyes gleam as she whimpers his name through her fingers. 

The scene hazes behind your tears as you stare wide eyed. Your ears ring as Steve's voice is dulled by your shock. 

"Margaret Elizabeth Carter," Steve's timbre warble just a bit, "will you make me the happiest man on earth?" 

You don't wait for her answer. You already know it. It's the very same you give in every outlandish dream you've ever had of your happy ending. You spin and storm through the crowd, blind with horror and self-pity. 

Surprise! Your whole world is crashing into pieces. 

[meazalykov]

new girl

kika nazareth x reader

summary: you never wanted to be vulnerable until she came along

trope: grumpy (reader) x sunshine (kika)

on the pitch, you were ruthless.

you were never afraid to accept a challenge, or do a tackle. the rock-hard mentality of yours never wavered.

you were given the captain role at an early age for your childhood club team-- accepting huge responsibility and holding others accountable for their faults was something you weren't scared of doing.

when barcelona offered you a contract to play for the B-team at 15, you accepted it. you were a ruthless defender and having you means that an oppositions striker wouldn't have a chance to score on you.

now at 21, you've grown into a reliable, if somewhat grumpy, presence on the senior team. however, you were the best defender in the world.

your serious demeanor on and off the field is well-known, and while you're never outright mean-- with your actions showing your teammates that you have a high level of respect for them-- your reserved nature keeps you at a tiny distance from them.

its the 24/25 season and the coach assigns you, patri, and keira to show the new girls around the place.

keira chose to help ellie around, patri chose to be with ewa, so you were chosen to be with kika nazareth-- a forward coming from benfica.

after showing her around the pitch, the media rooms, where the lounge area was-- you ended up in the locker rooms with her.

"so here is our last stop! this is the locker room-- your locker will be next to mine," you say, pointing to the empty space beside the locker where your blue cleats sat.

"thank you! i'm so excited to be here and get started." kika beams, her enthusiasm almost tangible.

"welcome to the team. if you need anything, just ask me or any of the captains." you nod, a small smile tugging at your lips despite yourself.

over the next few weeks, kika's sunshine personality shines even brighter.

she greets everyone each morning with a smile, always has a positive word, and is the first to offer help or encouragement.

you find yourself drawn to kika's warmth, wanting to keep yourself around the fellow 21 year old-- even if you don't fully understand why.

in training, you started to notice how kika gravitated towards you, asking for advice or just chatting.

initially, you respond with your usual reserved tone. you wanted to stay focused on the training so you were on top of your game for there next match-- but kika's persistence starts to break down your walls.

in the locker rooms one day, you were finished chatting to ingrid and mapi about their future plans. they were talking about going to visit Ingrids family in norway during a week-long break, which you said that it would be good for them.

kika noticed that you were finished with your conversation with the couple, so she placed her hand on your shoulder to grab your attention before anyone else could.

"y/n, are you doing anything after this?" kika asked.

you looked at her with a light smile before turning away to put your cleats in the locker, "no, why?"

"do you want to go grab a coffee?" kika asks, a little hesitant that you might reject her offer.

"sure, I guess. coffee sounds good." you say before standing up and headed towards the doors.

kika watched you with knitted eyes before you turned around at the door, "are you coming?" you smirked.

"oh- yes!" kika jumped up and followed you out the doors.

your post-practice coffee runs with kika become a routine.

kika starts to talk about her family, her dreams, and her love for the game right away-- while you listen.

after a few weeks, you start to slowly open up about your own experiences. the way that kika kept her full attention on you while you spoke was something that you silently appreciated.

"you know, I've been admiring how dedicated you are to the team. I used to see it from another teams perspective and go, "damn she's tough." but now I realize how much you love and care for us." kika says one evening.

your eyes twinkle at this. if you had to pinpoint it, maybe this was the moment where you started to fall for the portuguese. nobody has made an effort to compliment you in such an unique way.

"thank you, kika. you've been pretty amazing since you've gotten here. you are breath of fresh air that we've needed." you smile.

giving out verbal compliments weren't your thing, and kika seemed to notice that. you liked to express your liking for people through physical actions and gift giving. the portuguese's heart fluttered knowing that you're opening yours up for her.

another month goes by and its the beginning of 2025. the team begins to notice the change in you. you still maintain your serious persona, but with kika, you seem different—softer, happier.

the way you smile at kika, the way your eyes light up when kika enters the room, it becomes clear to everyone that there's something special between you two.

they're aware that they'll have to bring it up to you sometime, just to get clarification on your relationship with the girl, but they're content with observing for a bit.

during a particularly tough champions league match against PSG, you were frustrated.

after VAR cancelled a goal you scored due to a foul, and barcelona nearly conceding a goal thanks to an error from you-- you just wanted something good to happen for your team.

the score is 2-2, with the aggregate being 3-2 in favor of barcelona. you needed to make sure that psg didn't score, and you needed to create a chance for one of your forwards to score as well.

at the 60th minute, kika is subbed in for salma.

not even three minutes later, kika makes an impact.

aitana passed the ball back to you and you found kika up-top and on-side ready to receive a pass.

you shot the ball towards her and kika headed the ball behind the net, scoring the winning goal.

the team celebrates, but it's you who sprints to her first, lifting her up in a rare display of open joy.

"kika!!!" you screamed in joy as she holds you.

"what a great assist." kika says, focusing on you as the rest of the team joins for a group hug.

"don't give me all of the credit, you made a great header. ugh what a star!" you say.

the rest of the team is smiling in joy seeing the two of you. they're aware that your bond, emotionally, is passed the platonic stage-- but its a sight to see you so radiant and optimistic.

a week later, you invited kika over to your apartment. this is new, considering you never invited any of the barcelona girls over unless there was an event you were throwing.

kika and you were going to bake a few things while watching a new netflix show season that was released.

little did you know, kika was going to ask you something important.

"y/n, can I ask you something?" kika says, sitting down on your soft couch beside you.

you turn your head towards her, giving her a light smile as your eyes twinkled with a tiny bit of fear.

"of course, kika. what's on your mind?" you respond.

"do you ever think about... us? I mean, us being more than just friends?" she says, clenching her teeth together as she is nervous about a possible rejection.

"I do, actually. I've been every-night since the beginning of the season. kika, you're the first person who’s made me feel... alive in a long time." you look at her, the vulnerability in kika's eyes mirroring your own feelings.

kika reaches out, taking your hand in hers. "i feel the same way. you make me feel safe and loved."

"well, would me being your girlfriend make you feel more loved?" you squeeze her hand, a smile spreading across your face as you pull her body towards yours.

"yes it would, can I be your girlfriend?" kika smiles as her head rests inside of your neck.

its not the first time you've cuddled with kika like this, but it feels special now that she is your girlfriend.

"yes my love." you kiss the top of her head softly.

as a year goes by being with your girlfriend, you find yourself opening up more, your grumpiness tempered by kika's unwavering positivity.

kika, in turn, finds strength in your steady and strong presence, knowing she always has someone to lean on.

your teammates, patri claudia and cata in particular, often joke about how kika is the only one who can make you smile so effortlessly--but it's clear to everyone that your love has made you both better, on and off the field.

my master list is here if you want to read more fics <3

[magics-neptunes-things]

Fire and Ice 2

Hi guys!

Here is the part 2 of Fire and Ice, I try to pick a suggestion an anon made yesterday so I hope it will be fun to read :)

And it’s actually much longer than I imagined at first.

Keep telling me what you think about my writing, I love to read you.

Enjoy!

PART 1 ______________________________________________________________

The next time you saw Leah was two days after your kiss. She was kind of moody, all the team was supposed to take the team picture and the weather wasn't really nice.

Even if you didn’t stop thinking about this kiss, you didn’t try to talk to her. Or at least you didn't do anything else than creep every picture on her Instagram or the firsts videos of her TikTok. And the more you find yourself watching these videos, the more you fall in love with Leah. The way you felt during this kiss is always present and you just have to think about it to feel them again. It never happened to you before and you don't know what to do about it.

Arriving the last ones with Alessia, with whom you make the trips to the stadium, you don't have the courage to go and greet everyone. You just smile and wave, but your gaze lingers for a few more seconds on Leah. With her umbrella, she seems to complain to a Lia who have an amused look on her side.

After this day you didn't really have the opportunity to see her. However, what you don't know is that she sometimes observes you from the physio center where she continues to follow her exercises to return to the field with you. Despite the tinted windows, she sometimes has the impression that you feel her gaze on her given the way you turn in her direction.

**************

The next time you really have the opportunity to see her, it's for the next team evening. This time it was organized by Lia and you gladly accept when she ask you to come over. You managed to sit on the sofa with direct look to the kitchen where Leah is, in the middle of a discussion with two or three other teammates, allowing you to look at her without it being too obvious. This will not stop you from getting caught by Leah herself watching her, several times. But each time you just smile at her before looking away, without even taking the time to check that she gives it back to you.

Pizza were eaten and the first film finished when Beth and Katie approach you with a big smile, sitting each on either side of you. You were talking with Frida about Norway, you missed your country a little bit, but your conversation was quickly stopped. From the corner of your eye, you notice that Leah sits down more straight on the other sofa, a look of frustration on her face.

"So!" Katie begin as you raise an eyebrow at here "We made you a Tinder account."

"You what?"

To be honest, you really thought they’d forgotten about you meeting someone. The subject hadn't been discussed since and you didn't even think to tell Frida about it, the kisses you exchanged with Leah making you forget what else had happened during this evening.

"What’s all this about?" Frida asked with a deep frown, taking her role of big sister a little too much at heart.

"Well, Y/N is single, young, cute and really hot. She need to find someone to take care of her and give her the love she deserved" Beth answers, like it was the most logical thing ever.

You whispers something about the love of god on your mother language, hiding your face behind your hand.

"Told you it was stupid of you" Leah mumble from her couch.

You look at her between your fingers, but you are quickly interrupted by Beth who removes your hand from your face to show you her phone screen.

"Look!" she says happily while you take it in your hand.

Tinder was open on your profile and you look at what they might have written or said about you.

"Where did you find this picture?" you asked, as it was one you take from your last summer holiday.

"Google, i think. Dunno" Katie shrugs.

"I'm single and ready to mingle. Really?"

Beth and Katie both laughs as you roll your eyes, giving Beth's phone back. You’re trying to take this lightly, even if you must admit that it makes you a little uncomfortable. If the information that a profile in your name is on a application like this comes to your parents, you’re not sure you can handle their questions. Frida, on the other hand, seems rather suspicious and a glance at Leah informs you that she's still looking at the scene with a gloomy face.

"And it's not finish! We already managed to arrange two dates for you. We didn't know which kind of girl you like, so we take a brunette and a blonde. You just have to cancel the one you don't like."

You remain completely amazed this time, simply not knowing what to answer. It was Leah who did it for you, getting up from the couch, too angry to stay on the couch.

"This is some bullshit, making up a date from Tinder? What are you looking to? Get her murdered to get her place on the team?"

"She's right" Frida add, frowning. "I don't want to find her in the news, other than for her athletic talents."

"You both are overreacting. She will be safe" Katie shrugs.

"Blond or brunette?" Beth asks you, ignoring the others.

Your gaze flies away for a split second towards Leah, before you respond in a whisper that you prefer blondes.

**************

A few days later, you find yourself at the date that you haven't planned at all, clearly not totally comfortable with the girl that your teammates have selected for you. She realized very fast that the way you talk isn't the same that it was on the application, so you confessed the truth. It didn’t seem to bother her, but rather to amuse her. After your meal at the restaurant, she offered to continue the evening in a bar a little further down the street and you agreed. You can’t deny people things.

You’re having a hard time concentrating on what she’s telling you, stupidly excited about something else. One little thing, too. But Leah did a post last night on your last game and in her photo drop she posted one of you accompanied by a goat emoji and a crown. And it gives you far too much pleasure for it to be innocent. But again, Emma, who seems to be particularly the kind to forgive people, doesn’t seem to pay much attention to it.

Speaking of attention, you haven't shown much either since you didn't realize that the woman who has been haunting your thoughts for almost three weeks is actually a few meters from you.

Leah managed to snatch the name of the restaurant you were supposed to meet Emma from Beth and simply decided to take you as a fillature. Officially to watch over you and make sure nothing happens to you. Unofficially because she’s mad as hell just thinking about the stupid idea of her two friends. Like you need a Tinder date to meet someone.

As she watches you talking to that damn blonde, she tries to determine the real reasons why she came here. Because the truth is, she hasn’t stopped thinking about your kiss either. And it annoys her like crazy, but after trying to ignore you for almost two weeks, these idiots of Beth and Katie decided to throw you in the arms of the first person coming.

And even though she’s consumed with jealousy to see you so comfortable with Emma, unlike what you’ve never been with her, Leah can’t help but feel satisfied seeing you get lost in your thoughts sometimes as Emma talks. Emma can certainly not realize it since she doesn't know you, but Leah has been watching you for two weeks and can now determine the different expressions of your face.

She followed you to the bar discreetly, there also satisfied to see the physical distance that you put between you two while you were walking. She saw the way Emma tried to grab your arm to walk and the skillful way you went away, while remaining polite. It reassured her a little, too, proving that despite your shyness you can say no.

The bar you chose doesn’t have a very good reputation (something you don't know) and Leah is happy to have followed you, just in case. The crowd being denser than in the restaurant, she sometimes loses sight of you from her table while you are installed in the bar with Emma. She isn't disturbed on her side, her icy look sufficient to keep away any human being having a little common sense.

**************

The discussion with Emma is rather light, but not transcendent either. She seems rather kind and it makes you a little sad not to be able to give her the attention she probably deserves. But you can’t help but think about Leah and it makes you half crazy. While you and Emma were walking down the street, you were wondering, for example, where would Leah have preferred to take you after the restaurant instead of listening to Emma talk about her work.

"I'm going to the bathroom" you say right after you order your second drink.

On your way to the toilet, you take the opportunity to take a look at your phone and send a message to Frida and Alessia to inform them that you are still alive. And you end up on Leah’s Instagram page, pouting when you see she doesn’t post anything. When you return, you inform Emma that after you finish your drink you will go home. You’re getting tired and the heat at the bar doesn’t help you feel better.

She takes it with a smile, not even asking if you will be able to see each other again next time. It makes you hope a little that she realized that you didn’t necessarily have sparks between both of you. Perhaps she could become a friend, but certainly not a love interest.

"Are you all right?" Emma asks you frowning a few minutes later.

With your eyes closed, you shake your head negatively, using all your strength of mind not to fall off your stool. Your head turns atrociously and you have the impression that the food you ingested a few hours earlier is just waiting to come out.

"Bathroom" is the only word you managed to say.

You try to get up, but it’s only Emma’s hand catching your arm that keeps you from falling. It's no longer your head that turns, but the whole room while the sounds of conversations or atmosphere of the bar reach you as if you had your head under the water.

"Come with me, I'll help you ok?" Emma tells you nicely by helping you to the bathroom.

As you reach the door, a voice intervenes and you must focus to understand what it says.

"Let her go. Now."

"Who are you?"

The unknown voice doesn't respond, but you feel much more toned and assertive arms seize your waist, rather delicately though. A fresh, pleasant hand lands on your forehead and only then that you recognize the smell of Leah’s perfume. The white fear that gripped her voice prevented you from recognizing her.

Hardly opening your eyes, blinded by the light of the toilet, you only see two babyblue eyes before sinking definitively.

**************

When you regain consciousness, despite your closed eyes, it only takes you a few seconds to remember what just happened. Opening your eyes abruptly, you suddenly sit in the bed in which you are. You’ve read too many stories that end badly because of drugs ingested without consent.

"Wow, slow down cowboy"

Leah get up from the chair next to you, lightly pushing your elbow to make you lie down again.

"Leah? What are you doing here? Wha- What happened to me?"

"It's ok sweatheart. You're safe. Breath, ok?"

Leah doesn't answer your question but the pet name she gave you make you forget this point. The softness of the tone she just used and her hand that delicately releases your hair from your face causes you like electric mini-currents throughout all your body. Is it normal to react like that to such a banal gesture?

But the black hole in your memory continues to torment you, you need to know.

"Do you know what happened to me?" you ask quietly, raising your eyes on her.

Leah bites her lips and you imagine already the worst, but she doesn't let the suspense remain too long.

"They think someone put something in your glass. Your girlfriend swore it wasn’t her, so they’ll look for who it might be. Even if you decide not to press charges the bar did so then they will look anyway. But no one touch you, I promise."

"She's not my girlfriend" you mumble, sinking yourself in the pillow.

"Whatever" Leah grumble, pulling the chair next to your bed to be near you.

"What are you doing here Leah?" you ask again, looking at her.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Of course not. You’ve never been alone with her in a room so long and you’re secretly thrilled that she’s here to take care of you. You’re worried about her leaving.

"No"

A few seconds of silence passed after your answer, to which Leah replied only with a nod, before returning to speak.

"I followed you"

You did not expect this answer and your head turns so sharply in her direction that Leah doesn't have time to hide her slight red cheeks.

"Why?"

"I'm your captain. I’m supposed to look after you."

You nod, a little disappointed with this answer. Your eyes continue to scan Leah’s face, who always seems to refuse to look at you. After a few seconds of hesitation, you gently place your hand on hers. You notice with relief that she doesn't remove it, despite her look on your hands.

"It's weird"

"What?" you ask, frowning.

Her eyes plunge into yours and you find yourself breathless in front of so much intensity.

"The way you make me feel"

You feel your heart miss a beat, before it start beating way too fast. You swallow your saliva but suddenly find yourself unable to say a word.

"Don't tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed Y/N. I can't stop to think about it. I can't stop looking at you even if I don't want to because that's fucking scare me. I never fell this way before, even though I didn’t kiss almost two hundred people like Beth implied the other night. I mean, of course I noticed you because like Katie said, it’s hard not to. But we never really talked, and now I’m just thinking about you all the time. It doesn’t fucking make sense."

You're stunned, one more time. But Leah has been honest with you and you owe her the truth, too.

"You impressed me. That’s why I never really came to talk to you. I was afraid you might think I was stupid or immature."

"You used the past. Does that mean you don’t think I’m impressive anymore?" Leah asks you with a smirk.

Despite everything you can't help but smile slightly.

"No. I feel it even stronger, because you’re not the only one who has those kisses in mind all the time. I didn’t know you felt the same way."

Your heart keeps beating fast and you are relieved not to have a heart rate displayed on a machine, nothing would have been more embarrassing than that.

Leah’s gaze scans your face and you take the opportunity to do the same, admiring her features more openly than ever.

"Would it be inappropriate to kiss you now?"

Smiling softly, you respond negatively with a nod. You didn’t think your heart could pick up its pace again when you realized that Leah is approaching your face. Very slowly, allowing you to largely anticipate what will happen.

A breath escapes from your mouth when her lips ghost yours.

"Stay still" she whispers.

And you need all your strength of concentration to lie down and not break the last millimeters between your lips. But eventually it happens, Leah’s lips gently settling on yours. With the tip of your thumb, you caress her cheek for the few seconds that the kiss lasts.

It may have been a simple kiss and not a session of long making out, but the fireworks are back. You find yourself immersed in the blue of Leah’s eyes when you open yours again, shining with the same light you saw when you were at her home.

"I want more" you whispers and she smiles.

Delicately, you draw her with you on your bed and she willingly lets herself be guided.

You’re the one who initiates the next kiss, now that you know you have the right to do it. The sensations you find on her lips make you feel like you can breathe completely again. You spend a few moments rediscovering her lips, before sliding the tip of your tongue on her lower lip. You take advantage of Leah’s moan to slide your tongue into her mouth, starting a playful battle to determine which of the two will win.

When you separate from her to catch your breath, you feel her chasing your lips for a new kiss that you cannot refuse her. The truth is you don’t want this moment to end. But this eventually happens when a nurse enters the room right after knocking. Leah detaches herself from you to cast a bad look at the professional who blushes like a tomato.

"Oh… I’m sorry. I didn’t know…" she stammers and you have to bite your lips not to burst out laughing.

"What do you need?" asked Leah coldly.

"I just came to check that everything was fine"

"I’m fine, thank you" you answer with a smile, not to traumatize this poor nurse.

She nods and waits a few more seconds without moving, requiring a steady look from Leah with both eyebrows raised so that she gets out of the room, apologizing again.

"Stop impressing people" you smile, gently smacking her shoulder.

Leah turns her attention to you with a smirk and lays a softer kiss on your lips this time. Laughing softly at the visible disappointment on your face, she wraps a strand of your hair around her finger.

"As much as I would literally spend the rest of my day kissing you, I would like to make things clear right now"

"Ok?" you answer, feeling the anxiety slowly coming back.

You push yourself to the side of the bed to let Leah settle next to you, which she does by lying on the side her head supported by her hand.

"I know I’m not easy, I’m unpredictable, and sometimes I have trouble myself figuring out why I’m reacting like this. I am unbearable when it comes to food. I am jealous but I hate being so sometimes I pout for like two days without succeeding in explaining why. I’m really not the perfect girlfriend, every time I wanted to surprise someone it went wrong."

You don’t say anything, listening to Leah talking about herself, maybe not in the best way, wondering where she wants to go by telling you all this.

"But I think I’m a caring person, who knows how to take care of those she loves and remember things. I love cuddling in the morning, singing like crazy while burning my breakfast and taking baths. And I think I’ll love all these things even more if you share them with me. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship, but I want to try with you. I promise you to never hurt you. Let me get this right and let me take you on a date as soon as you get out of here."

"I would love that, Leah"

"Yes?"

"Yes" you answer, your smile illuminating your face.

She smiles back and you lean for another kiss. Leah doesn’t let you, however, putting an index on your lips at the last moment.

"One last thing"

"What?" you ask, hiding your frustration.

"I never want to hear about this damn Emma again."

You laugh while rolling your eyes. Despite her, Leah smiles softly and finally decides to interrupt your laughter by kissing you.

[wileys-russo]

could you write something with georgia where she has to have you rubbing her back to fall asleep, and whenever you stops she does a little shimmy to make you start again

ps i can also picture her making one of the girls (keira or leah) scratch her back when they’re away so she can fall asleep 😭

my needy girl II g.stanway

"-you can't be serious. surely you can take a nap without it gee!" leah scoffed in disbelief as the younger blonde beside her frowned, crossing her arms over her chest grumpily.

"i can't leah! i wouldn't be askin if i wasn't dead serious." georgia huffed quietly as her best friend groaned, earning her a harsh shushing from mary who was trying to sleep a couple of rows up from them.

"please leah?" georgia practically begged her best friend, body burning with exhaustion as sleep seemed something she might never obtain, not having slept well the entire time she'd been away with the lionesses.

they'd all travelled to norway for the week for a friendly with the national team, but a flare up of an old hamstring injury for you meant you'd had to stay home.

of course georgia was sad about it both for herself and for you, knowing how much it would hurt for you to have to watch from afar. and with the two of you playing together for club and country it was seldom you were ever away from one another longer than a couple of days.

for most people this would be fine but for you and georgia it was rare you'd find a couple more happily codependant. you lived together, ran errands together, paired up for drills together, trained together, played together, showered together, cooked together, cleaned together and of course slept together.

which was what had lead to georgia coming to leah for help in the first place.

ever since the early stages of your relationship you'd picked up the habit of rubbing georgia's back while the two of you lay together, limbs intertwined and heartbeats thumping in sync. at first the blonde was resistant to it, not used to such casual intimiacy from a partner.

though overtime the tables had flipped completely and she found herself unable to get a goods night sleep without her girlfriends soft touch, hand tucked up her top as her nails would gently graze georgias tanned skin, the calloused palm of her hand rubbing small but loving circles into her back as she dozed off peacefully.

so having been missing that for the last eight nights had made georgia insufferably tired and grumpy, and now on the flight home it was catching up to her fast.

"fine, but only for a few minutes." leah gave in with a grumble as georgia sighed a quiet thank you and turned toward the window of the plane trying to get comfortable.

closing her eyes she felt leahs hands gently start to rub circles on her back, trying desperately to let that soothe the sting of having been away from her lovers touch for so long.

though hard as she tried, it just wasn't the same.

"nevermind, its not workin." georgia huffed, shrugging leahs hand off and sinking down into her chair crossing her arms over her chest. "georgia you are so incredibly-" leah started to tell her off until keiras hand snaked over the top of her chair, smacking her on the shoulder.

"be nice!" the girl mouthed as leah turned around to glare at her, nodding toward georgia who was curled into a ball looking absolutely miserable.

leahs face softened at the sight as keira settled back into her chair, the skippers hand reaching out to gently squeeze the younger girls knee in comfort.

"we're nearly home mate, and you know she'll be there and waiting for you."

~

your head snapped to attention as you heard the jingle of keys, a grin making its way to your face as you heard them drop to the floor and your girlfriend groan, swearing like a sailor at the mistake.

"you kiss your mother with that mouth?" you yanked the door open with a teasing smile, the blondes face lighting up at the sight of you, dropping the keys again as she stumbled through the door.

"babe!" you squealed as she dropped her luggage, swept you off your feet and swiftly picked you up into a bone crushing hug hello.

"george my leg, i had physio today." you warned gently with a soft smile as the blonde carefully placed you back on your feet, closing the door behind her and advancing toward you again.

"god i've missed ya." you swooned at her accent as always, knees wobbly and lips curling into a face splitting grin as her hands gently cupped your face, eyes roaming every little feature of your face oh so lovingly, memorizing it as if she'd been away for a year.

"i missed you more. you played so well baby, my golden goal scorer." you placed a tender kiss to her lips, georgias hands finding your hips and flushing your bodies closer together.

"where do ya think you're goin? you've got a weeks worth of lovin to make up for baby." the girl grinned cheekily, her nose scrunching up adorably as you melted at the sight.

~

"you look shattered love, lets head to bed?" you offered with a concerned frown as georgia went to press play on another episode, not missing the deep seeded bags under your girlfriends eyes and the way her body was clearly struggling to stay awake.

it relieved you that she didn't put up a fight, wordlessly nodding and flicking off the tv as the two of you stood, flittering around the house and switching off the lights before meeting one another in the bedroom.

"nah give us that one." georgia frowned, nodding to the hoodie you already had on your body as you held another out to her to change into. you opened your mouth to protest but the pout which formed on her face had you stripping the material off in an instant, handing it over as she shrugged it on with a content smile.

slipping into one of her old jerseys you kicked off your track pants and followed the blonde into the bathroom, the two of you messing about playing footsies as you brushed one anothers teeth.

"oi!" she gasped in mock offence as you flicked water at her, grinning before the slightly taller girl yanked you into a minty fresh kiss. "dickhead!" you pushed her away with a scoff as she dripped water down your back from freshly washed hands, winking cheekily and pecking your lips a few more times.

grabbing her hand and dragging her back into the bedroom you wasted no time collapsing into the soft mattress as georgia promptly flopped herself right on top of you.

your laughter filled the room as she attacked your face with sloppy kisses, only stopping once you gently pushed her off, leaning over to flick off the lamp on your bedside as she did the same, engulfing your bedroom into darkness.

"assume the position then woman." georgia mumbled tiredly, rolling onto her stomach and fumbling around blindly for you, eventually finding your arm and draping it over her.

knowing exactly what she wanted you chuckled, moving your hand to sneak up her hoodie, rubbing gentle circles on her back as your other hand tangled in her messy blonde locks, scratching at her scalp.

"i love ya." she mumbled sleepily, scooching closer to press a tender kiss to your jaw, nose tucked into your collarbone as you echoed the words back, pressing a kiss into her hair and moving away a few flyaways from her warm forehead.

you smiled in surprise as within seconds it seemed the taller girl had fallen dead asleep, mouth slightly ajar as she exhaled gently, nose twitching as you shook your head.

retracting your hand from inside her hoodie you rolled onto your back, other hand still tangled in your lovers hair as your own eyes fluttered close tiredly.

you'd almost drifted off yourself before you heard georgia whine, the girl wiggling and fumbling around in the dark. grabbing at your top she pulled and tugged until your body rolled onto its side, her fingers finding yours as she moved your hand back under her hoodie.

"more." the blonde demanded sleepily, accent even thicker in her tired state. you smiled feeling her settle instantly as you resumed rubbing her back, breathing evening out as she immediately crashed again.

your lips left a tender kiss on the crown of her head with an amused smile, sighing softly as georgia mumbled something incoherant in her sleep and pressed her face even more into your neck.

"my needy girl."

[milaisreading]

2p Axis and 2p Allies reaction to a guy giving Valentine's Day gifts to y/n before they had a chance?

🌱🩷: Here u go! Hope it is ok, and thank you for the request!

2p!Italy🇮🇹

2p!Italy: Bella, these are for you~

Yn, while looking at the flower bouquet: Thank you! I didn't expect you to care about Valentine's Day! These are really pretty

2p!Italy: You care about this holiday and so do I. Besides, I wanted to be the first one to give you the present.

Yn:Oh... uhm...

2p!Italy:What?

Yn: Well... Actually... Sweden already gave me a present so...

2p!Italy: Really?

Yn: Yeah- WHY DID YOU TAKE YOUR KNIFE OUT?!

2p!Germany🇩🇪

Yn: Thanks for the chocolate!

2p!Germany, all proud that she likes it: Nothing to thank me for. I heard from people you like this flavor.

Yn: Yep! It's one of my favorites, actually.

2p!Germany, confused as he thought she likes this one: One of? What's your favorite? I can get you that instead.

Yn: No need! Besides, Denmark already gave me that this morning.

2p!Germany: ... What? Wait, so someone already gave you a gift?

Yn: Yeah. This morning

2p!Germany:....

Yn: Why is your gun out?

2p!Japan🇯🇵

2p!Japan:...

Yn, worried as his glare intensifies and his grip on the present tightens: Are...are you ok?

2p!Japan:Yes.

Yn: You look constipated. Was it the food you ate earlier?

2p!Japan, embarrassed as he shoves the present into her hands: Just take this stupid gift?!

Yn: Thanks... *opens to see what's inside*

2p!Japan, trying to look like he doesn't give af: And?

Yn: Oh! This is a cute figurine! It will go well with the one Korea gave me!

2p!Japan:...

2p!Japan: When did he give it to you?

Yn: This morning.

2p!Japan: Ah... so someone already gave you a gift?

Yn: Yeah- where are you going?

2p!Japan: Out for a walk.

2p!America🇺🇸

2p!America: Hey there, dollface! Happy Valentine's Day! Here is your present.

Yn, jumping in surprise as she takes it: Thank you! The bear is cute!

2p!America, swinging his arm around her shoulder: Not as cute as you.

Yn, blushing:O-oh...

2p!America: Anyway, want to go and eat something?

Yn: No, I just ate with Norway

2p!America: Excuse me? What?

Yn: He took me out to lunch as a gift.

2p!America,thinking of all the ways to kill a country: Oh... lovely...

2p!France🇫🇷

2p!France: What is that?

Yn, looking at the small cake 2p!France was pointing at: Oh! This? It's a cake Finland made me for Valentine's Day! Want to try? He made it with my favorite flavor.

2p!France while tightening his grip on a gift he got her: Oh... And you accepted the gift just like that?

Yn, confused by the question: Yeah? We always give each other gifts.

2p!France: You gave him gifts as well?!

Yn: Yeah... Are you mad?

2p!France: Yes.

Yn: O-oh... I will put it away then...

2p!France: Please do.

2p!England🇬🇧

2p!England: Poppet! I made you my special cupcakes! Try them!

Yn, nervous as she remembers what his special cupcakes might have:I am not really hungry, so...

2p!England: They don't have anything bad in them, I swear!

Yn, slowly nodding her head as she takes them: O-Ok.

2p!England: I wanted to make this present special! Do you like them?

Yn, surprised they taste like real, normal cupcakes: Yeah... they remind me of the ones Switzerland got me this morning.

2p!England: What?

Yn: Switzerland gave me some as a present this morning *continues eating*

2p!England, thinking: I will turn him into literal Swiss cheese

2p!Russia🇷🇺

Yn: Thanks for the presents, Russia... Isn't this too much? *looks at the mountain of gifts*

2p!Russia, shakes his head while patting hers: Not really. In fact, there are more I need to give you.

Yn:?!

2p!Russia: Don't worry your pretty brain about it, but... Who gave you those flowers over there? *points at the tulips*

Yn: Oh! Netherlands gave me them as a gift this morning! They smell so good- Why are you taking the vase away?

2p!Russia: They have gone bad. I will get you better ones

Yn: What?

2p!China🇨🇳

Yn, admiring the Hello kitty plushie: This is so adorable! I never saw this one!

2p!China, while having a huge grin on his face: Well, it was a special I requested for you. Happy you like it.

Yn: Thanks! You didn't have to go through so much trouble for me.

2p!China: It was more trouble at all~

Yn: It will look great with that plushie Estonia gave me this morning

2p!China:...

2p!China: Someone gave you a present already?

Yn: Yep~

2p!China: Oh... Can you do me a favor?

Yn: Sure. What is it?

2p!China: Can you sleep with your window open for tonight? And put that plushie from Estonia as close as possible to the the window

Yn:...

Yn: What?

2p!Canada🇨🇦

2p!Canada, blushing as Yn thanks him for the chocolate: It's nothing. Just a small token of appreciation.

Yn: Still! Thank you for remembering me! I didn't expect gifts from both Iceland and you, to be honest.

2p!Canada: Oh, it's nothing. I am happy you like- What do you mean by Iceland?

Yn: Him and Mr. Puffin gave me those cute Valentine's Day cards. They are so adorable~

2p!Canada, agitated while she is smiling: Aha...

An hour later...

Yn, yelling from her room: My cards are gone!!

2p!Canada as he lights up a fire: How tragic

[cityofmeliora]

Cardi / Papa IV talking about Nihil between "Miasma" and "Mary On A Cross" in Re-Imperatour 2023

i've been meaning to make a compilation post of these speeches for a while. i think the way Cardi talks about Nihil is kinda funny (and sometimes kinda sad). also he was *very clear* about Nihil being his dad long before Rite Here Rite Now, LOL.

i was able to find video of his speeches from 33 of the 58 Re-Imperatour shows. if anyone has better audio for these clips, or clips from the missing shows, please let me know so i can update! i tried to transcribe these as accurately as possible. but the way Cardi talks is kinda weird so there may be some minor errors, haha.

Toulouse, France (May 23, 2023)

"How 'bout this? I can play you a song that my daddy actually used to sing. You like that?"

Milan, Italy (May 29, 2023)

"You saw my, uh, daddy-o over there, right? Yeah… We're gonna sing a song that he used to sing!"

Barcelona, Spain (June 1, 2023)

"Now… You know my dad? He's, uh, he's no longer with us– mentally. But physically, every once in a while, he'll come out with his saxamaphone, and that's what you just saw. But we're now gonna sing a song that my daddy used to sing, once upon a time. You might have heard this one!"

Nantes, France (June 3, 2023)

"Anyway, I'm gonna sing a song now that my daddy–my papa–my father– he used to sing. So let's go!"

Amsterdam, Netherlands (June 4, 2023)

"You saw my daddy-o? My old papa? We're gonna sing a song that he used to sing, actually. Yeah, so you might have heard this one!"

Bochum, Germany (June 13, 2023)

"You saw my old, uh… mein vater, huh? Yeah? He's now a saxophonist– a dead one! But he used to be a singer. And we're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing back in the day… back in the day…"

Neu-Ulm, Germany (June 20, 2023)

"Well, you met my, uh… my dad. Mein vater, huh? Before he started playing the saxamaphone, he was actually a singer. He sang songs. And you know, he begged us before he passed: "Please play our song– my song that I used to do!" So you wanna hear the song that he used to sing? Here it comes!"

Spálené Poříčí, Czechia (June 22, 2023)

"But you know what? Before we leave, we're gonna play you one song that my dad used to sing back in the day."

Oslo, Norway (June 23, 2023)

"So. You saw what my old dad could do. Yeah… blowing that shit. You wish you were the one that he was doing it to, right? Hahahaha. Well, anyway, he used to be a singer, you know! He used to sing songs! They were okay. But we're gonna do one now that he used to sing. I hope you dig it. It's okay!"

Athens, Greece (June 25, 2023)

"You saw what my, uh, my papa… he, uh, he still blows that shit! Well, he's dead, but we roll him out for special occasions. But you know, he used to sing, like I do! And he was an okay singer, actually. I must have got it from somewhere, I guess. But you wanna hear a song that he used to sing? You might like this one."

Concord, USA (August 2, 2023)

"What do you think about Pops over there? You like that? You like when he blows that shit? Yeah. He doesn't suck at it, that's for sure. But anyway, once upon a time, he was actually a singer. Yeah. We're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing back in the day."

Auburn, USA (August 4, 2023)

"How do you like that? My old dad. He wasn't much of a father –he kind of sucked at that– but he sure as shit blows really good. Yeah, no, he– he's fine, he's fine, except for being dead. But y'know, we roll him out for the good occasions, and this is one of them. You know, back in the day, he used to be a singer. I hate to say it, but I think I got it from him. Yeah. He was an okay singer. But do you guys wanna sing a song that he used to sing, together with me? Alright… Go!"

Denver, USA (August 8, 2023)

"You like that blowjob? Yeah, I know. My old man. My old daddy-o. I know he blows. Still. Miraculously. Posthumously. But you know, once upon a time he was not an actual sucky singer. He was actually quite okay. We're gonna play a song now that he used to sing, and I hope you dig it. Alright?"

St. Louis (August 11, 2023)

"Give it up for my old man! Yeah… he still blows! Once upon a time, though, he was actually quite okay a singer. Do you wanna sing a song together now that he used to sing back in the day? Okay, let's do this!"

Milwaukee, USA (August 12, 2023)

"What did you think, huh? My old man… First he was just a fart that I met, and then I got to know that he was my dad. Yeah. He's– he was okay. For a sucker, he blows really good, actually, don't you think? Once upon a time he was actually a kinda decent singer. Have you heard any of those songs? You wanna sing one now? Alright. Lets' go!"

Chicago, USA (August 15, 2023)

"I don't know about your Pops, but mine sure fucking blows. Once upon a time he was actually a not-too-sucky singer, though. Have you heard anything of his stuff? You wanna sing one of his old songs? Alright. Let's do it then– come on!"

Cincinnati (August 16, 2023)

"How did you like that, then? Yeah, I know, my old dad. My old daddy-o. Still blowing that shit. I guess he's fine. Now, I don't know if you knew this but, once upon a time, he was actually a quite okay singer. Have you heard any of his songs? We're gonna honor him now a little and, uh, sing one of his old songs, okay?"

Syracuse, USA (August 18, 2023)

"That's my old man. Or was. Pretty sucky father, but he still can blow. He blew some really good shit there, didn't he? Right through his nose. Anyway, once upon a time, he was actually quite a decent singer. And, uh, y'know, did some tunes. And we're gonna do one now. You wanna? Ohhh!"

Mansfield, USA (August 19, 2023)

"Yeah. My old Pops there. Y'know, for years he didn't do much. Y'know… and uh, because he used to be a singer but now he just, uh, y'know, he does a good– y'know, he does a good blow job. But he used to be a singer. And he sang quite well. And, uh, we're actually gonna commemorate that fact by singing one of his tunes now. And we hope you dig it. Alright?"

Bridgeport, USA (August 20, 2023)

"How 'bout that? My old man. My old man… Well, he's a dead man now. But you know we bring him out for the blow job, and he does okay with that. You know, he was once upon a time a fairly decent singer. And I thought we, uh, might take this opportunity to sing one of his old songs. I think you've heard this one. It's okay."

Burgettstown, USA (August 23, 2023)

"How did you like that, though? My old Pop, with his saxamaphone. Ah, he's okay. Or he was okay. I guess he's not anymore. Anyway, we're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing back in the day, when he was singing. So… Come on!"

Bristow, USA (August 24, 2023)

"You know… my dad… not much of a dad. But he sure blows that good shit, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has always been an entertainer, I guess… even now, posthumously– Google that. He was, once upon a time, a singer like I am. And he did a few tunes. I don't know if you've heard them. They're okay– they're okay. But we're gonna do one of them now and, uh, you might wanna sing along. Are you ready?"

Camden, USA (August 25, 2023)

"Well, what do you think? My old man– he's a good blower of shit, huh? That would be his, uh, tribe name: "Blower of Tubes". But once upon a time his name could've been "Singer of Songs", because he was– used to be a singer, y'know? And he was a fairly decent one, actually. He was not that bad. They did a few tunes. You wanna sing one of them? Alright, let's do it! Come on!"

Houston, USA (September 2, 2023)

"How did you like that? My old man resurrected to come out and blow shit for you? Nowadays he's a blower, I guess. But once upon a time, he was a not so sucky singer, yeah– let's put it that way. And, uh, he actually did a few tunes. And, uh, we're thinking that maybe you wanna sing one. Are you down with that? Alright, let's get rippin'!

Dallas, USA (September 5, 2023)

"Heh, we even got my old dad sort of erected– resurrected. But yeah, I think he felt it, too. Maybe you saw the sax moving? He was once an okay singer. Did you know that? Yeah, he used to sing songs. Yeah. Would you like to sing a song that he used to sing? Alright, let's do it!"

Albuquerque, USA (September 7, 2023)

"So my old man. The old fart. Yeah, he can make wind move– I can tell you that. Blowing that shit. Once upon a time he was a singer, though. Did you know that? Yeah, he did a few songs. And I was thinking that maybe we should sing one of them. Just for shits and giggles. Are you down with that? Alright, come on!"

Phoenix, USA (September 8, 2023)

"Are you still feeling it? Yeah! I hope you weren't blown away by my… my old man. Yeah I know he blows that shit nowadays. [UNINTELLIGIBLE] But, uh, once upon a time, he was actually a singer. Did you know that? And a fairly decent solo, actually. So we were thinking that maybe you wanna sing one of his old tunes. Are you digging it? Come on!"

Rite Here Rite Now - Los Angeles, USA (September 12, 2023)

"How did you like that, then? That's my old man, actually. You know, we roll him out for the good nights. Once upon a time, he was actually a quite decent singer. Yeah. Did you know that? We're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing and, uh… Come on!"

Mexico City, Mexico (September 18, 2023)

"How do you like that? That was my– my old papa. He's okay. He's not that good. And I guess the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree... So he's okay. Do you guys know that he used to be a singer, once upon a time? Do you guys wanna play a song and sing a song that he used to sing? Let's go then, people!"

São Paulo (September 21, 2023)

"You like that guy? The old guy? He's okay. He's my old papa. Did you know that he was actually a singer back in the day? Do you guys wanna sing a song that he used to sing. Alright, let's do it!"

Buenos Aires, Argentina (September 24, 2023)

"You see– I'm your Papa, but that's my papa. He's an okay papa. Or he was. He's dead now, but we sort of drag him out for the good shows. Nowadays, he's just a saxophone player. But he used to be a singer, did you know that? Do you guys wanna play a– sing a song that he used to sing? Alright, let's go!"

Santiago, Chile (September 27, 2023)

"Anyway, you saw my papa there, right? Yeah. Once upon a time, he was a singer. Did you know that? We were thinking that maybe you wanna sing one of his old songs. Alright, come on!"

Sydney, Australia (October 3, 2023)

"So… how did you like that? That's my old man. Well… He never was much of a papa to me, but… it's okay. He does a good blowjob nowadays. Y'know what? Before he was blowing that shit he was actually not a too sucky singer, did you know that? Yeah! Once upon a time he was actually singing songs. So we thought that maybe you wanna sing one of his old tunes. You wanna do that? Come on!"

[nordickies]

Sweden Headcanons

I compiled a list of big and small headcanons I like to implement in my work when writing Sweden's character! More may be added if I come up with them. Feel free to steal them in your own work

Read the whole list under the cut!

Physical Features

Sweden is one of the tallest nations at around 2,00 m / 6′ 7″. He has a heavy build with notable muscles on his upper body. Though, he gets bloated very easily, especially after a heavy meal, so his body definition varies a lot.

Sweden is physically in his early to mid-thirties.

As a teenager, Swe usually experienced nausea and dizziness from growing pains. Definitely didn't help with his already bad temper and moodiness.

Sweden has cold hands constantly.

He tans quite easily during summer. In his youth, he had visible sun freckles.

He's not as fit as people might think at first. His grip is firm, and he can lift. But make him run stairs, and he's out of breath. That is probably why you'll never catch him running - even in a hurry.

Swe has frown lines on his forehead and around his eyes, probably due to squinting so much before getting his glasses.

He has a small silver cross necklace, which he obtained from his long travels in his youth.

Personality

Sweden is stoic, but he's not that serious - even though he might appear to be so. He just has an unfortunate face, according to Denmark. Norway says Sweden is friendly; he just doesn't act like it. Swe has a playful side to him, and even he isn't above banter from time to time. He is even a bit sassy. And while he might be a man of a few words, he has a sense of comedic timing. He often manages to make his friends crack up in inappropriate situations, and people never believe them it was due to Sweden.

Sweden has an eye for quality. He's also a bit frugal and refuses to throw stuff away, especially if he could fix it with little effort or repurpose it for something else. For most of his life, he had to deal with limited resources anyway, so his thrifty tendencies continue to this day. People tease that Sweden prefers crisp bread (knäckebröd) because he's too frugal to bake fresh bread every day

He is known to be innovative! He'll ponder his head empty to devise a solution to a given topic, and sometimes, they can be pretty creative and unexpected. He has a lot of fantastical creativity, and his thinking process is a big mystery to everyone else.

He cherishes silence and personal space. Loud noises and massive crowds of people make him very uncomfortable, so he avoids situations like that beforehand.

Sweden takes things very literally at times, and he can take things to heart. He'll always go out of his way to do his best and put on the best show, down to a single detail. If someone requests a cake with flowers, he'll spend the entire night crafting marzipan daisies and placing them individually

Sweden could be described as somewhat of a control freak. He'll get highly anxious if he's not in control and making decisions - or kept in the dark about matters that concern him. He has always been self-driven, and he can become quite rowdy if he's forced to follow other's orders.

Sweden is a bit of a mother hen, taking care of people and providing for them at all times. Though sometimes, he takes this role a bit too seriously. Sweden has a tendency to get involved in other people's business and try to come up with solutions for their problems, which his neighbors don't always appreciate.

Because of his rational and calm nature, people often seek Sweden's advice and help. Well, at least people who don't have to deal with his unprompted advice constantly.

He has always struggled with being a bit selfish. Not that he lacks the skills to share or be empathetic, but he always seems to put himself first. People often need to adjust to Sweden's comfort and needs rather than the other way around.

He's definitely the most family-oriented out of the Nordics. He has always wanted to be a parent, even if others never really understood it. Even as a teen, he would look after the youngest members of his family, ensuring they were clothed and fed.

Even though he's not very sociable, he hates being alone for long periods of time. Since he has always lived with others, he wants life, color, and chatter in his home. That's why he has arranged a free "open door" policy in his house. His family (and adoptees) are welcome in his place at any time

But, even though Sweden is tolerant and welcoming, it sometimes might backfire on him if his visitors aren't too caring. Denmark and Finland are particularly good at this and leave the place messier than they found it. Meanwhile, Norway empties Sweden's fridge and pantry before he's on his way (which he just calls harrytur). Sweden is non-confrontational and rarely dares to bring it up, though.

He finds work-life balance extremely important. He takes his job seriously, but when the clock hits 4 p.m., he's already out of the door. This can annoy his overachieving coworkers sometimes, but this is a subject Sweden just won't give in. He is highly productive and a hard worker - it just happens strictly during office hours. He remembers to unwind by taking a week off at a cabin or simply having coffee breaks multiple times a day.

Swe sticks to schedules and usually shows up early to be on time. He's punctual and expects things to be done on time with efficiency. Swe has a personal calendar that he follows, and events, such as dinners, need to be planned in advance with him. He also follows a tight sleeping schedule.

Sweden is candid and answers others' questions bluntly. Interviews are a nightmare with him. Small talk is difficult with him, and he'll stay quiet if he has nothing to say. 

Sweden expects honesty. He wants to know if he has upset someone and, in return, wants to talk things out. Resentments, petty disagreements, and gossip annoy him greatly, especially if the other person expects him to recognize when he has done something wrong.

Sweden doesn't feel that awkward in social situations unless he can tell the other person is finding his silence uncomfortable. Swe becomes more shy and uneasy if he has to fake small talk. You'll get the most out of him when you bear his silent breaks.

Sweden can come off as nitpicky or even snobbish; he cares about the little details and, in true artistic fashion, can be a perfectionist sometimes. Whenever he's nervous, he starts focusing and fixing the tiniest of details in his work.

Sweden has a lot of confidence in himself and his abilities. Maybe, at times, a little bit too much, which makes him proud. Especially in his youth, he considered himself invincible and constantly overestimated his capabilities.

His tendency to be taciturn and not talk about his problems puts him at odds with people around him. Usually, the issues build up when he refuses to confront them. Combining this with the fact that he believes himself to be in the right - and solving issues with pure logic, it seems like he forgets to consider the emotional side of things. He can't understand why others don't see the world rationally like he does.

Hobbies

Sweden has a workshop in his house where he likes to go and work on DIY projects, make various crafts, or fix broken items. In there, he could spend hours pondering and trying to find solutions to problems - not only on broken appliances but his personal issues as well. Also, the workshop offers Swe a form of escapism. It's his domain, where he prefers to be alone (His little snickerboa, if you will)

Handicrafts allow him to express himself and carry out his wild creativity and imagination. He takes pride in his art; every item is made with love and thought. Besides making furniture, Swe is skilled in glass crafts. Sweden is also a skilled artist. Though it's more of a hidden talent. People never see him draw, but if you get him a pen and paper with a basic prompt, he will draw like a professional. He paints Christmas cards every year and sends them to other Nations.

Sweden is quite active and tries to get himself moving through everyday activities, such as house chores, biking, or even just taking the stairs. He likes going on long city hikes and can play a football or ice hockey match if asked to. But nowadays, he has begun to enjoy more relaxed sports, such as golf.

He loves cooking; Swe appreciates and values quality food. Perhaps he's not a culinary chef, but he can make any comfort homemade food if asked. Sweden is consistently in charge of the food in get-togethers and family gatherings. He's also a great baker but doesn't have time to focus on that hobby. Nevertheless, he always ensures at least a few types of cookies, buns, or other pastries are available. It's important to take a break occasionally and sit down for a cup of coffee.

Sweden enjoys a variety of music. He hasn't really mastered any instrument, but he loves singing group songs at events. He considers music a big part of his life, and he really enjoys musical events.

He is a plant mom with thriving houseplants all over his residence. Iceland is jealous of him because his own houseplants seem to always die as soon as he attains them. Sweden also has an impressive outdoor garden during the summer.

Sweden is obsessed with crime shows and literature; he's always in the process of reading the newest thriller books.

Lifestyle

His human name is Björn. His nickname "Nalle" (teddybear) can be used as a term of endearment - or annoyance, depending on the person and context. Though he has had multiple names throughout his life, such as Berwald.

Sweden is skilled in mental math, though not in a "superhuman" way. Sweden is an experienced merchant and builder who can solve basic math problems immediately in his head. He's definitely more talented mathematically rather than linguistically.

Sweden feels the most at peace when he's prepared for the future. Even on vacations, he'll fix his porch, paint the house, or do massive spring cleaning. On cabin weekends, he'll maintain the boat or drive the other Nordics crazy for using the lawnmower early in the morning

He's a recycling freak who takes the matter very seriously. He'll definitely let you know if you have done your recycling wrong and scold you for it

Despite his quiet and seemingly shy nature, Sweden likes hosting parties and events. He can even give a short speech if he's allowed to prepare for that beforehand. Swe doesn't go from table to table chatting with people. Instead, he'll ensure there are activities, games, music, and enough food and drinks for everyone.

Sweden has a tendency to socialize through activities like games or quizzes. People groan when Sweden has to bring yet another board game to a party, but that's just his way of ensuring people have something to do. And if he doesn't have a particular activity to participate in, he might just sit in silence the whole time!

Swe can handle booze very well, only becoming talkative. While he's reserved and quiet sober, he bubbles up immediately after a drink or two. Usually regretting his loud mouth the next day.

Swe has always had a hard time learning second languages, which is one of the reasons why he appears so quiet. When he can speak his native language, he's way more talkative. He often forgets words when talking in different languages, and that's when his insecurities and nervousness take over.

He speaks Swedish and will hesitantly admit that he understands Norwegian and some Danish just fine due to their long relationship and exposure to each other's languages. He speaks English and used to speak French and (Low) German. He also used to know Latin and Old Norse but has forgotten them both.

Swe thinks rules are rules, and in his household, candy can only be eaten on Saturdays.

Sweden has an inherent sense of style, perhaps due to his tendency to care about the little details. He wants his home and personal style to look nice and put together, and he spends a lot of time focusing on them.

Due to his big size, many spaces aren't made for him, especially abroad. He finds it embarrassing when other people notice this and try to offer him special treatment because of it. He hates to cause extra trouble.

He experiences "sunshine guilt" very often. If it's a beautiful day outside, Sweden can't sit inside without feeling guilty, like he's wasting his time. He will often tell people to go outside and appreciate the short summer that they get. And when the first rays of sunshine appear in spring, Swe might drop whatever he's doing and face the sun with his eyes closed - just taking it all in and immediately feeling better. He also starts having picnics and hanging out in outdoor cafes early in the year, regardless of weather or temperature.

Sweden has calmed down immensely from his youth to the point some consider he has gone soft, acting like an old man with no ambitions. But maybe nowadays, he puts in the effort to enjoy the things he values in life. And as a result, he's pretty content with how things are going for him.

[herpsandbirds]

Aw man ive seen many critters lately

Bumblebee that was taking a nap on a flower, but i was worried it might get eaten by something cause it was very exposed so i moved it over, it cuddled up to my hand and refused to leave, the lil guy wanted to sleep there.

Found in norway, might you know what type it is?

Another one found earlier that day, it was lying on the asphalt barely moving but i managed to get it to some flowers and it excitedly drank all the nectar, it was moving and feeling way better afterwards and crawled happy on my finger! :D

NORWEIGIAN BUMBLEBEE MADNESSSSS!!!

Helo, yesss, let's see...

T - What you got here is a Red-tailed Bumblebee (Bombus lapidarius), family Apidae.

B - I can't see the abdomen very well, but if the end of the tail is a buffy blond creamy color, its probably a Buff-tailed Bumblebee (Bombus terrestris), family Apidae.

Bombus lapidarius - Wikipedia

Bombus terrestris - Wikipedia

[hoe4sports]

Caroline Graham Hansen | When an accident occurs

A/N: Long text ahead. Written from mostly Caroline’s perspective.

Triggers: Medical trauma, birth, angstttt -Day 64-

“Mrs. Graham, what I’m trying to say is that talking to her might help. Holding her hand might help. Patients like her often recall hearing their loved ones talking to them. She’s gonna have to have the fight of her life, and she needs you to fight with her. The baby needs to hear someone’s voice and feel someone’s touch. ” The doctor said as he looked over at me. We were sitting in one of the uncomfortable meeting rooms that was in connection to the intensive care unit. The unit that I had previously not had any relations to. The unit that now had my two most important things within their walls. Leaving me to be able to do nothing but to trust the doctors and nurses. I didn’t even know what to do without her. It had already been two months since the incident. The incident were she was tackled mid game by Lauren James causing her to go head first into the pole of the goal leaving her body lifeless on the ground for several minutes while the medical staff evacuated her. She was only four months pregnant when this happened. It was one of her last games. I had begged her to not play, but she told me to trust her. That everything would be okay and over within 90 minutes. The only issue was that after 25 minutes had passed, my life changed forever. This wasn’t according to plan at all. We were supposed to be in Norway, on our honeymoon before going back to Barcelona to give birth. Instead we were here, stuck in the coldness of the intense care unit. “That’s everything for now Mrs.Graham.” The doctor finished as he closed his binder. “Thank you Doctor” I muttered as I got up from the chair while the tears was burning in my eyes. I walked across the hall, to the right and then to room 4114.

-Day 68-

I walked into the doors of the icu. The nurses giving me apologetic smiles. I didn’t smile back or say anything. I couldn’t. My life had changed forever, and for every day that passed it felt like she was disappearing more and more into her own brain. Room 4114. I knocked on the door as if I was expecting her to open the door for me and ask me to sit. Her nurse welcomed me in, and I sat down in my usual chair next to my wife. She looked so peaceful. As if nothing had ever happened. Like she had slept in like she usually would on Sunday mornings. I don’t know how she still looked so beautiful. The nurse looked at me and smiled. “Today marks the start of week 29.” I was confused as I couldn’t understand what she meant. I shot her a confused look. “Your wife is now 29 weeks pregnant. She’s well today. Her bloodwork came back clear and her vitals are textbook perfect.” The nurse said as she stroke my wife’s hair. Always so perfect. The perfect girlfriend, the perfect wife, the perfect teammate and somehow even perfect in coma. “I’ll leave you alone now, I’m right outside if anything were to happens. Don’t hesitate to push the call button if I can do anything for you mrs. Graham.” She said as she disappeared around the corner of the room. I looked back at my perfect wife, and scooted my chair closer to the bed. “Kjeks is missing you. He sleeps on your side of the bed every night. He meows in the mornings as he walks around confused.” I started as I had to shift my gaze to not have a breakdown. “God, baby, I miss you. I am so lost without you.” I said as I grabbed her hand. I was terrified to break her, and I was scared that she was hurt. But the doctor said that I needed to do this, and I would do whatever it took to get her back. I slipped my hand under her blanket as I rested my hand on her belly. I could feel the baby kick. The feeling leaving me broken inside. “You would’ve loved to feel her kicks. She’s active. She loves to kick. The nurses says she might be a footballer. But i just want her to be alive.” I said as I paused. “Because if she dosent live, and you won’t live. Then I’m not sure I wanna live either.” I whispered as a tear rolled down my cheek. 

-Day 80-

The doctor’s was sitting infront of me awaiting my decision. “If you need more time, mrs.Graham, we will respect your wishes and give you more time.” The doctor said with a Spanish like accent. The kind of accent I could recall her make when she made fun of Alexia’s terrible English. “Do it” I said sternly as I got up and walked out of the room. I made my way back the my wife’s room and sat down next to her. “I don’t know how to do this without you. But they need to get the baby out, and they say it’s to give you a better chance.” I swallowed. “But, I can’t help but wonder   If they are taking her out so that they can say that they atleast saved one of you. But I would rather have you than the baby.” I said as I trailed off feeling the familiar burning sensation in my eyes. I grabbed her hand and kissed where she had tan lines from her wedding ring. “And don’t worry, kjære. Im not giving up on you. I have your ring with me everywhere just in case you wake up.” I said as I rubbed her hand.  “I wish you could make this decision about the baby with me. I don’t know how to parent or how to be a mom. Please, please, please. Wake up kjære, wake up.» i said, but to no use. I was cut off as the doctors walked in ready to take our baby out. As if my wife was just some kind of incubator. Just a lifeline for the baby. But to me, she’s my wife. She’s everything. I can’t have this baby without her.

-Day 90-

I sat in the chair next to the doctors dissociating as they talked on about the usual stuff. How her night had been, how her body was handling and what they wanted to do moving forwards. They were going on about possible long term effects of the coma, but also talking about how her brain finally had gone down to normal size after being swollen for months. They were ramming about things like the baby, who was allowed to see my wife and that they was gonna try to wake her up today. They were also talking about how they had kept the baby next to her to give the baby time to feel her.

«Sorry, waking her up?” I asked as I snapped out of my own thoughts. “Like as in getting her out of the coma?” I repeated as I couldn’t believe my own two ears. “Yes, Mrs.Graham, we believe that we will be able to wake her up this time. Everything is coming back clear and the  scans of her brain shows no further injuries as it has come down to normal size.” The doctor said while smiling at me. I was confused. Waking her up? That would mean she would be in pain, confused or even have memory loss. I don’t know what scares me the most; the thought of her waking up to her memory being gone, or her never waking up. “We know this is a lot to handle, but we are feeling optimistic. You are encouraged to be in the room when she wakes up. That’s all for now, mrs.Graham.” He said as the team of doctors stood up. I couldn’t stand yet. I was just sitting in the chair I had sat in every morning from 9-9.15 for 90 days. 

I was ripped out of my chain of thoughts as a nurse tapped my shoulder with our baby in her hands. “She has been fed and changed. I think she might want her mom.” The nurse smiled as she cooed down towards the newborn, our newborn. She was surprisingly well for having been born so early. The oxygen was only needed for the first 48 hours after birth. I had a strained relationship with the baby. She had always wanted to be the first to hold her, and it tore me to pieces that she couldn’t. I had hold her a couple of times, but I didn’t wanna bond with her yet. I couldn’t, how could I when her mother, my wife was laying in a bed with tubes everywhere?

I was lead into her room again. 4114 as the nurse pushed me down in a chair, and put a pillow underneath my arm. She reached the baby towards me, and I reached my hands towards the baby. I carefully placed the baby in my lap. The nurse slipped out of the room, like she always would. “Hei lillevenn» i said as she grabbed my finger and cooed. Her little tiny hand was wrapped around my finger as if I was the only thing keeping her alive. I hadn’t really done anything to keep her alive. The nurses had been feeding her, changing her and bathing her. Soothing her when she needed soothing and giving her cuddles all day. «Mamma is gonna wake up soon, and then we can be a family like we were supposed to.” I said softly as I felt like an elephant had sat on my chest. “I’m sorry that I haven’t cared for you. Your mamma will be mad at me for it, but you see. I can’t live without your mamma. She is my everything.”‘I said as a tear escaped my eye. She started fussing which caused me to stress. I picked her up and put her towards my chest as I got up from the chair and reached towards the call button. I sighted as I stopped myself from letting the nurses have her.

“Shh, I don’t know how to do this lillevenn, but I’ll try my best” I said as I slowly started bouncing her carefully while I walked around the room while the machines monitoring her was beeping in a comforting matter. "Yea, that's it skatten min, you are safe, its okay, mamma has got you" I said as she started to settle down. I looked down on her as she was whining. She would makes sounds from time to time especially when the baby cried, so it wasn't abnormal. "I know baby, its okay, I'm taking care of her" I said as I tucked some of her hair behind her beautifully braided blonde hair while I kept rocking back and forward. The baby kept crying as a doctor and a nurse entered the room. "Just here to perform the usual checks" he said as he shot me an apologetic smile. "yea, go ahead" I said as if I had any right to decided what were to happen. I slipped outside of the room as she kept crying in a desperate attempt to calm her.

Her stroller stood just outside of her mothers room. I laid her down in the stroller which made her look even tinier. I then started slowly pushing the stroller, the stroller that my wife had picked out. It was a cyber e-praim. Benedicte had been eyeing the stroller for months, but had decided that it was too expensive. That's why I had left practice early one day blaming an injuring in my calf for needing physio. I had went straight to the shop were she had eyed the stroller down and purchased it before I brought it home and set it up for her. I remember how happy she was when she saw it when she got home before she had gasped thinking of the price. I didn't care about prices or money because no amount of money would ever repay the love and patience that she had given me. "Mrs.Graham" I voice said from the door of my wife´s room. I was down the hallway with the baby that had just fallen asleep in the stroller. "Yes, what's wrong?" I asked scared to death about what had happened. Last time they called me in like this, they had to have emergency surgery. The nurse smiled as I got closer to her as she nodded her head towards the inside of the room. "Your wife, she's awake" she said as I stopped in my tracks while feeling pure horror running wild in my veins. "Sorry?" I asked as I blinked hard to make sure that I wasn't dreaming. "Your wife is awake, and she's asking for you." she repeated as I looked between the blinds of the room. "Can I-" I started before I could hear my wife talking. "Is she here? Can I call her?" she said as she hadn't noticed me with a worried tone in her voice. God knows that I wasn't deserving of this woman. Even after being in a coma, she wasn't worried about her, but about me. "Yes mrs. Graham, you can see her"

"Skatt, i am so sorr-" she said as I walked towards her and cut her off. "Shh" I said as I sat down next to her legs on the mattress of the bed and pulled her head into my chest. "Everything is stable, so we will give you two a minute" the doctor said as I just nodded in response while my tears were streaming down my face. "Its not your fault, prinsesse. You couldn't have predicted this." I said as I held her tight and didn't wanna let her go ever again. I didn't know how I was supposed to ever let her out of my sight ever again. Her hand rested on my back as I could feel her left hand reaching for her previous baby bump. She pulled away with a look of horror on her face. "The baby" she whispered as tears were forming in her eyes. "Jenta mi, the baby is no-" I started as she cut me off. "no, god no, please don't say it, Caz. I don't wanna hear it." she said as she threw herself onto me. I rubbed her back and leaned down towards her ear. "The baby is in the stroller napping." Her head shoot up and her eyes widened. "She's here? She made it? She's okay? living?" she said as tears once against formed in her eyes. "Do you want me to get her?" I asked as she nodded rapidly with her hand on her belly while the other hand was over her mouth. 

I walked out and stopped the stroller from rocking back and forth. She was in a hospital body, which I instantly regretted as I wished I had brought her clothes to the hospital. The wheels of the stroller rolled soundlessly into the hospital room, and I stopped her next to her bed. She instantly tried to get up, but I stopped her. "Let me get her for you, prinsesse. Your body isn't strong enough yet." I mumbled as I reached down for our girl and placed her on my wife's chest. God, this was the first time I had realized just how beautiful our daughter was. She had my wife´s eyes, her lips was just like her mother’s, a cute button nose and lots of blonde hair. My wife couldn't stop staring at the little bundle of joy as her tears were steaming down her face. My hand touched her hair, stroking it carefully as I admired the pair. I couldn't believe it, my wife was here. For a second, I was filled with horror: what if this was all a dream?

"Caz, she is perfect" My wife cooed as she changed the position of the baby from her chest to her arms. "She's so beautiful" she spoke, and I instantly felt sick. I hadn't paid any attention to the baby as I was worried sick about my wife. I should've formed a bond with her, protected her and held her everyday. The baby probably thought that she had nobody on her side. "Caz, baby, when was she born? How? What was her weight and length?" she asked, not removing her eyes from the precious angel. "Uhm, She was born 10 days ago by c section because she was making you weaker by the hour." I said as I rubbed my neck and got my phone up from my pocket. I went into notes, where I had written everything down. One file for my wife and one for the baby. "She was just shy of 1100 grams and about 14 inches" I said as I popped my phone back into my pocket. "Look at mommy, she's already taking notes about you, lillevenn. That's what she is like, she is always attentive to details. You couldn’t have gotten a better mom even if you wanted to." she said to the baby as she kissed her forehead. "Hello Mrs. Graham, its truly a joy to see you awake." the doctor said as he walked into the room. "Im gonna have to ask you to do some test, which requires that the baby has to stay with mrs. Graham." Benedicte frowned. "I know that it’s not the one thing you wish to be doing, but we need to do mapping of your brain function. " the doctor explained as my wife reluctantly nodded. "Here, go to mamma, she will take care of you and then mamma will be right back" she whispered into the baby's ear before handing me the baby.

-Day 97-

I was walking up to the hospital with a bag in my hand. This time, I was bringing both my girls home. The team had been supportive and granted me the week off to help my wife become comfortable, and settle us into the new daily life. In my bag I had brought the clothes that she had picked out from the hospital for the baby and for herself before the accident. She hadn't really worn anything besides hospital clothes for a long time, so I was nervous about how she would handle it. Before I could see her, I talked to her doctors who explained that she was cleared to go, but that she might be sensitive to feelings for the first few weeks because she had suffered severe trauma.

"Hei jenta mi, ready to go home?" I asked as I stood in the doorway watching her cuddle with our baby. She shot her head up when she heard me and smiled. "Caz, yes! Im so excited!" she squealed as she sat herself up in the bed. She seemed stronger every day, but she wouldn't be able to go back to work for 12 weeks. It didnt seem to bother her. I handed her the bag and she put the baby down in the stroller. "Im gonna go get changed and have a shower. Will you get Celine changed?" she asked as she pressed a kiss to my cheek while skipping to the bathroom. I gulped. My relationship with little Celine wasn't really strong yet and I was terrified to hurt her.

I took out the outfit my wife had planned. A long sleeve pink onesie with ruffles around the neck, white tights and a soft pink dress. It was warm outside so it made sense to not dress her up too much. I carefully took the clothes off the baby and she immediately started fussing when the cool air touched her skin. "Shh, Celine, I know, Mamma is gonna be quick, okay?" I said as I wrestled the clothes on her. She was tiny, but lord knows she was strong. After 10 mins of getting her dressed and 10 mins of putting all of their belongings into the nike bag, my wife came out. Her appearance knocked the air out of me. It felt like the first time I saw her. She was having her long blonde hair down, light makeup, she was wearing my Barca nike pants with my number on it and a white nike tshirt. "What? do I have a bug in my face or something?" she said as she giggled. "Baby, its so refreshing to hear you talk and giggle again. I have missed you so much. You are so beautiful, skatt." I said as I embraced her.

"Alright, and here is the papers. Bring them with you to the doctor for the 2 month check up. Everything has been sorted." the nurse said as we stood by our car with the baby carefully strapped into the carseat and my wife sitting at the front with the door open. "Thank you" I said "for everything, really." I finished as I grabbed the paper. The nurse hugged my wife before going to the back of the car and poking Celine´s cheeks. She closed the doors and waved goodbye. I jumped into the car, and turned the car on. The summer breeze was in the air and the Barcelona sun was settling down. "Let´s go home, skatt. Let´s start our new life." I said as I squeezed her hand. She smiled and looked at me. "Let´s go home, Caz" as she kissed my cheek.

[strangebiology]

The Science of Humane Slaughter

I asked an expert on humane livestock slaughter how we decided on certain methods of slaughter as more or less humane than others, from a scientific perspective.

He pointed me to this document (PDF) from the European Food Safety Authority called “WELFARE ASPECTS OF ANIMAL STUNNING AND KILLING METHODS:” Scientific Report of the Scientific Panel for Animal Health and Welfare on a request from the Commission related to welfare aspects of animal stunning and killing methods.

It's long, and old (from 2004) but it's a pretty useful document summarizing a lot of the science of why certain methods of killing may be more or less humane.

You can test a method, for example, by hooking an animal up to an EEG and monitoring its brainwaves after stunning it, or delivering a fatal blow (functionally killing it, but it won't always die instantly following a fatal injury, so you can still monitor it.)

Other ways of monitoring and measuring suffering include recording: how many times does an animal vocalize (moo, grunt etc) after being put in a chute? If it moves, does that matter, or is that a post-mortem or unconscious spasm? Does it immediately collapse, does it blink when you touch its eye (corneal reflex)? Is the animal permanently brain-damaged (which is a good thing when you want it to die fast!) or is it only a little knocked out and immobile, with the potential for recovery if you were to not bleed it out? (Which is bad in that circumstance!) A scientist can test that by testing a stunning method on a group of animals and then seeing if they recover. Those individual animals are likely not happy if they do return to consciousness with a hole in their heads, but such is science.

Anyway, while the testing might sound gruesome, I thought you'd like to know that slaughter regulations are pretty serious and well-studied. And those regulations seem pretty consistent among everywhere I've seen (EU, Norway specifically, the US.) With some minor differences here and there.

Perhaps we will discover better ways to slaughter meat animals in regard to their welfare, or perhaps we will find one day that our preferred method wasn't as good as we thought! There might also be people doing things in very bad, unintentionally cruel ways because of silly, disproven myths (but, if someone is legally selling meat, any US slaughterhouse is required to have a USDA rep see every death.)

I don't want to imply that every animal death goes perfectly well, or that it's even acceptable, or that the meat industry is perfect or good! But I do want to share that there is scientific precedent for why people kill livestock the ways they do, and you can read the studies in the aforementioned document. There are tons.

PS. If you have any interesting insights on the science of humane slaughter, I'd love to see them! Or, even, just tell me how it's done in your country, the role of the government, etc.

[wordsvomit101]

I'm about to do a lot of yapping.

I love definite answers rather than vague implications as much as the next person and wait for the story to come out first before making theories but this chat got me to realize a bunch of things so I need to share my thoughts. Important notes, the credits are for @shyanimeboi and their lovely friend who shares the source, couldn't do this without them. Warning though, there will be a lot of talking about flowers.

What a way to start a conversation, very flattering Lucifer, this just makes me think of how the devils and MC are pretty mutual in their attraction toward each other, this image said it the best, in my opinion.

But this also just makes me think that MC has to have some God's divinity in them and Solomon has something to do with it. My reason is kind of dumb but like, from the start of the game to now, MC could fit every character's ideal type (ex: Satan likes someone with wicked slaps, Mammon likes someone greedy, etc.), and if you stretch it enough (or inhaled a lot of copium like me), it could make sense, because somehow the angels have affection for MC yet they don't with Solomon and how MC can take off their charity belts in the Christmas cards, and now Lucifer said he has an erection just being around them (can't forget to mention, how every angels and angels' ideal type are God himself, and seeing how they act with him, it could explain why).

And the last two parts, Lucifer you're not fooling anyone, my guy. He likes being spoiled by his siblings as much as he is indulgent of them (like how he stops to tell the story of his past for the trio in the middle of the war and how he acts in his selfie comic). Of course he not gonna say it outright that he appreciates it but the fact that he found some flowers he likes says a lot (apparently this is not the first time as well, the nobles have done something like that for him, but this time is probably his favorite).

Also yes, it is in fact good for the body and mind to have plants around you when you have a common cold. "House plants can help you fight colds and sore throats. A study by the University of Agriculture in Norway discovered this fact. The research showed a 30 percent decrease in coughs, colds, sore throats, and other cold-related symptoms in people occupying spaces that had adequate houseplants. The reason? Plants help to increase humidity levels and decrease dust as well as purify the air."

This parts, this parts got me reeling. It seems normal right? I thought so too but when I think deeper into it, I have some thoughts on how he sees beauty and how he perceives beautiful things and associates them with people he loves (the 3 Seraphs) and how he see them as people, especially when it comes to flowers and plants. Flowers often symbolize beauty, growth, and the transient nature of life. A greenhouse, as a controlled environment where plants can thrive, represents a space of care, nurturing, and protection. Lucifer's frequent presence in the greenhouse basically said that it was his favorite place. It is a place where he can be surrounded by beauty in a natural and unforced way, much like how he perceives and interacts with others (he might see a flower and associate it with MC someday but we are not there yet).

Now, why am I so fixated on this? Well to me, how a person treats a flower says a lot about them and how they will treat others, for example, some see a beautiful flower, they will rush over to pick it, and some want to just hold it in their hand, some want to own it and have it in their possession, and some want to control and ruin it. While there are also people who see it and choose to just stay near and appreciate the flower, maybe they will pick it up one day or they don't. Lucifer fits the bill on the last one pretty well, he sees both the best and the worst side of his brothers, and instead of controlling them or snapping at them for how they are, he appreciates and lets them be, without trying to mold them to his own ideals. This is like observing a garden with both blooming flowers and wilted ones. Akin to a gardener who does not force the growth of plants but instead provides the optimal conditions and lets nature take its course.

Gabriel’s representation as a white lily, a symbol of purity, faith, and rebirth, yet always carries with him the “dizzying” scent of blood that is always on his body. The blood-stained petals symbolize the loss of innocence and the tarnishing of what was once pure. Like the white lily, Lucifer loves Gabriel for his inherent purity and unwavering commitment to God but hates the violence that taints him.

Michael’s representation with a black bellflower is surprisingly very accurate to his core, bellflowers themselves mean affection, constancy, and everlasting love, and the most prominent example of this is his love for both God and Lucifer, in the two stars event, even if one went out to buy the milk and the other throw himself to Hell and protect devils whom Michael despises, he still loves them. However, from what I can interpret, Lucifer could mean that instead of embracing the right "dew" (which likely means positive feelings, thoughts, and emotions), Michael chose to embrace the "dew" that only makes him cry and sad. Lucifer sees potential for beauty in Michael but is likely pained by his brother’s self-destructive choices.

How Lucifer sees Raphael as a chrysanthemum is interesting, the significance of the flower means strong bonds and a feeling of joy, and the warm color which resembles the sun means that Raphael should have been a bright and warm person like the flower is but the meaning of the "unrequited love" and how Raphael got misplaced affection, and instead of dealing with it in a non-destructive way, Raphael choose to rampage from the grief and the unjust feelings. It is basically what it could have been and what it becomes.

In some cases, it is a good thing to just simply observe the beauty of it all, but is it right to just only watch from afar as the "beautiful flowers", that lack the proper nurturing and care they want, beings he loves so much destroy everything around them and is also ruining themselves? He could cut off their roots and pick them out to prevent further damage but he didn't (since he is the closest to God, I wouldn't put it past him to pick up some habits and worldview from his Father, and perhaps, God also view the angels like how Lucifer does).

Interesting how he can see a bit of himself in MC, but the feeling of superiority is strong in the "pity" part when he talks about the devils. Like yes, he does love his nobles but he also pities them, and idk what to tell you besides that Lucifer kind of treats the devils like stray dogs or cats he found cute and pitiful and adopted them. Not saying that he's not at least, somewhat compassionate, but I think a part of him sees himself as a higher being than the devils like how other angels did.

I believe the small blue flowers are Forget-me-not, the shape and petals are pretty close to real life.

With the track record, we got and how Lucifer uses flowers as a stand-in for how he sees his brothers, and this flower, to me at least, is unlike how the other three in how it represents their characters, this flower is like something Lucifer sees to remember his dead brother by. Forget-me-not, outside of tragic romance, is a flower that often connects with death and lost (ex: In Newfoundland, it represents those who fell in World War I; In Armenia, it’s a symbol for the Armenian Genocide Centennial; It’s the symbol for International Missing Children’s Day; The Alzheimer’s Society uses forget-me-nots as a symbol for memory loss and to raise awareness for the disease).

Now, why am I focusing on the flower of all things instead of the fact that one of his brothers is dead? Well, because flowers not only tell a person's traits and personality, they also tell stories. According to Forget-me-not's legend and lore:

The first one describes a German knight who was strolling with his lady along the banks of the Danube River. The lady saw pretty blue flowers—but they’d been pulled loose by the river’s flow and were about to disappear downstream. She wanted to save the flowers, so her chivalrous knight jumped into the water. He couldn’t fight the strong current, so he tossed the flowers onto the bank, and as he was carried out to sea, he called out, vergiss mein nicht, which is German for “forget me not.”

Another legend says that the German knight didn’t leap into the river after the flowers, but rather bent to pick some for his lady when the weight of his armor caused him to topple into the water—and then he called out “Forget me not” as he was swept away. A separate German tale says the name was chosen when God was naming flowers. This one was the last, and the flower cried out, “Forget me not, O Lord,” to which God pronounced, “That shall be your name!”

The knight could be the dead brother in this situation, and I think that he and Lucifer were close when they were young, and Lucifer probably got interested in something or wanted to save something, his brother tried to help but ended up dead by an accident. Or he could be alive or in a limbo where no one could remember him except Lucifer. And I saw someone make a theory on this, here:

Apparently, he is the only light theme enemy, and given how he looks? He could be the brother but even I don't have a concrete reasoning as to why besides his appearance and power, and how he hides himself behind other angels in the presentation art and in battle. Though he would likely appear more in the future.

[itwasnotahamster]

- Letters from the Dead - (Part 1)

Langhus, 21 March 1990 | © The Old Nick | Source: Letters from the Dead

The brackets will indicate possible context or corrections (sometimes commentary). - 💜

"Only Black is true, only Death is real!!! Gore is trend! Hello Nick! It's Dead here again. Hey- you're really good at drawing, I use to do some drawing stuff myself. I enclose something of it in this letter. Maybe we together can work something out, maybe even in Metal Destruction…? You asked of releases, if we need some artworks for that... Well we rarely give out much and as for the next release we'll probably have some photograph instead. But if we would need something that you might feel for help us out with I'll tell of it. So what we can use drawings for is for stuff like flyers, ads and letter­pages. So far I have done the drawings for that... well the main reason of that is that we have a (old!) xerox mashine and I'm the one in the band that 'can' draw. It's not so often that I have time left to spend hours or sometimes days by making drawings and too many don't like that kind of drawings I make (but fuck them wimps!). But onto the Deathlike Silence Prod. now. The 2nd edition of the 1st release on DSP. - Merciless is out now, the one you get here as promo. We're looking for distributors everywhere and everybody who can sell 10 (or more) records will receive a copy for free + that 10 records will be cheaper. As soon as this the 2nd ed. has paid, Imperator will go in studio.

Imperators LP will contain 8-10 songs (depending on how many "old demo songs" they'll use - but it'll be new trax as well) and it'll be entitled "The time before time". After that it'll probably be the colombian Masacre as the next release. Masacre will be very soon release a 7- inches with 3 demo songs on the greek label Scene of Love. That's a new started label and I hope they can give out enough copies, not limited ed. of it. Of course we give the bands free hands and they're not bounded to use at all, but I'm thinking of the fact that Masacre is selling so much... Only in Colombia their 1st, and only demo sold 1000 copies ( which is more than our Deathcrush demo has sold worldwide...). We can only press up 1000 copies each time of every edition of DSP, and the first ed. Of Merciless sold out as fast as we could pack and post it. This second ed. we recieved [received] for not a so long time ago will depend on how much stamps we can get, of how soon it'll sell out. In Norway it's very hard to sell records - it's far away from USA or South America and I don't think any real scene exists here. Do you think you can take care of some distribution/selling of DSP releases, or you maybe know someone else who's interested? [True dedication]. I think Merciless will be very easy to sell in Italy. Many zines exists there and we recieve many letters from there also. We also sell other records (given out by various underground labels) but it can be so different of what records of others releases we sell 'cos we usually don't get so many of them, so they sell out so soon. But anyway - I can tell of what we presently have got (except of Merciless)

LP's (£10000 + postage)

Agressor/Loudblast (split LP, France) "Licenced to thrash"

Arakain (Czechoslovakia, speed metal - I do not like this one!) "Thrash the Trash"

Nomed (France)... very boring mainstream... "Like..."

Abomination (USA)

Disharmonic Orchestra/Pungent Stench (Austria, split LP)

Malicious Intent (Canada) "Shades of black"

7's (£5000 + postage)

Asphyx (Holland, Limited ed. 1000 copies) "Mutilating Process"

Atrocity (Germany) "Blue Blood"

Pungent Stench (Austria) "Extreme Deformity"

Disharmonic Orchestra (Austria) "Successive Substitution"

Do not print this in Metal Destruction, I will explain it to you, ok. If you want any of these records above, please tell of how many and of what records so I can see how much the postage will be. Now over to Mayhem. For the first time we've been in studio and recorded 2 songs (first time with this line-up I mean). It'll be released on Chicken Brain Records, a swedish kind of underground label some time in this autumn. It'll be 8-19 other (swedish) bands on it, among them Merciless. I don't know the title of this compilation LP/CD. Our songs that'll be on it are "The Freezing Moon" and "Carnage". The Freezing Moon is a new one and pretty different from our other songs, as example it's a long guitar solo on a very long Doom part on it and that's because we wanted to have a solo at only one track (of our new ones). Carnage was made in '85 (!) so it's really old. It was on the 1st demo/reh - Pure Fucking Armageddon (released in only 100 copies and not available) but with the thought of the very bad sound on it we feeled for playing it again and try to keep the original sound of it. I'll tape these trax for ya but I'm not so sure of if it'll be enclosed in this letter or if I'll put this letter togeather [together] with the Merciless record but anyhow you'll get this tape. You can record it to others if you like to but please don't trade it, and I'll record some else bands too for filling out the rest of the tape. Have you heard of the INCREADIBLY KILLING GREAT band Tormentor from Hungary? Their demo is about 4 years old but it sounds like the Death/Black metal bands of today. We try to find out if they want a deal on DSP. But unfortunately they hardly speak any English at all so it seems like neither them or us understood it... We think of releasing a full-lengtht LP of Mayhem but it seems to take a fucking longtime before we got material enough for it... The only we know about it is a title that MUST be used - De Mysteriis Dom. Sathanas. That was about all future plans I can tell of I guess. I look forward to see Metal Destruction. There's a possibility that we can sell it also, but I can't say if for sure.

About Satanism... well, I'd like to join a very underground and Illful, Evil and Grim Coven. I think you know of the hassles by finding any or getting any contact with a such. I do NOT like what's created by Anton LaVey like 1st Church of Satan. I came in contact with a dude who's a degree in the American Satans Sons - Church of Satan and he explained of it has nothing to do with LaVey at all. I asked of if it does exist in Europe also and of what it is exactly... well he didn't reply. But I heard later thet Satans Sons shall exist in Europe but I still don't know in which countries it is. In Norway it's not much of this, but in Sweden (-I am swedish) that 1st Church shall be in Stockholm (the capital there) and it shall be about 5 churches built by satanic sects, used only by satanists, mostly it's under christian churches - like the one under "Mariakyrkan" (Mary's Church) in the South of Stockholm where the 1st Church of Satan use to hang around at. I know it exists really Dark covens that use human sacrifices and are eating human flesh - them are those I try to find. I do not know much about magic and I can't say I'm a practicer of it 'cos I havn't succed. What is depending on what one can do in magic (all of its kind) is of what books one can get...those are hidden in libraries and so hard to even see... 'cos of course they don't let anyone even see them. You must be a scientist or something like if you would see the microfilms of that kind of books. A great library of many various kinds of magical arts and the Blackest of Black Arts too is the British Museum in London. But it's so damned difficult to get ones claws on those books. One book I really wanna get is De Mysteriis Dom. Sathanas, unfortunately it exists only in one copy... are you practicing any magic and do you know of any covens? Have you seen/heard/felt anything supernatural? I have but I didn't understand much of what that was and I think the most of it was only so-called echoes from the past or the future [I am curious about this]. Do you know anything about astral planes and out-of body travelling? You seem to be into it and I agree about stupid trendmakers so it is something that I feel I can tell you of. I had a weird experience once, I had inner bleedings and it couldn't be found at x-rays so when it continued to bleed and bleed I finally fainted and dropped down the floor 'cos I run out of blood. The heart had no blood left to beat and my veins/artairs were almost emptied of blood. "Tecnically" I was dead. At that moment I fell down (into a door I heard of later) I saw a strange blue colour everywhere, it was transparent so I could, for a short moment, see everything in blue, till something shining white and "hot" surrounded me. What happened later is out of interest, I woke up when some ambulance men came and drove me to a hospital and there the bastards of surgery started to cut me up at the wrong side so I got a huge scar for that. However, it's someone I know who's had many out of body experiences and is using magic of various kinds and knows much more than I do of "supernatural" experiences, that I asked of this 'cos it was so strange about those colours. She told me that the first 'plane' in the astral world has the colour blue. The "earthly" plane has the colour black, then comes a grey one that is very near the earthly one and is easy to come to. The next one further is blue, and then it gets brighter and brighter till it "stops" at a white-shining one that can't be entered by mortals. IF any mortal succee enter it, that one is no longer a mortal and can not come back to the other planes nor back to this earth. After the white plane or level or whatever it goes further with other colour I don't know of, there only spirits and great sorcerers can travel. I was told that the white plane I then entered, without I knew it, was the dead world and I died. But I also got thrown back after a short time which very rarely happens. So of what I've heard of I have some kind of purpose to achieve here."

Reached the limit for this one, I will add on!

[matan4il]

Watched Eurovision last weekend and tried to only pay attention to the music but oof, the Israel derangement was horrid. Were any of the other contestants nice to Eden or at the very least not total assholes to her because where's she's from? Please tell me someone was decent or even mildly professional.

Hi Nonnie!

I'm glad to tell you that there WERE people who were personally decent to Eden and the Israeli team, from what I've heard.

One of the parts that suck is that it feels like talking about it too loudly might bring those people into the line of fire. I can say that about myself, that while I was treated awfully by some people in fandom, I've had people be absolutely wonderful to me, and I've had to keep my mouth shut and not thank or celebrate them publicly, because that would have drawn the fire to them. They absolutely do not deserve that. And it sucks that I can't even be openly grateful. Same with the people friendlier to Eden, we Israelis have heard stuff, so we know of them and are thankful, but I don't think anyone has said anything too public, because no one wants to endanger them.

Still, I hope it's been long enough since the final, that we can safely share a few things. Also, I'll emphasize that most of this is hearsay, I can't verify any of it, because it wasn't published officially, this is just the stuff we hear.

The Israeli singer who grew up in and was representing Luxembourg was really lovely with Eden. Tali could have easily avoided ANY association with Eden, so I give her credit for not doing that. The German singer was the nicest to the Eden and Israeli delegation, and I also heard that Germany actually stood up for Israel when the EBU wanted to disqualify it, rightly pointing out the differences between this situation and Russia's ban. I heard good things about the Austrian singer as well, the Latvian, and the Georgian singer. There's probably more that aren't popping into my mind right now, but this is a start, and it's nice knowing kind people, who won't bully a 20 years old singer just because of her nationality, do exist, right?

Another part that sucks is that even some of the people who were nice backstage to Eden, were only willing to do so away from the public eye. I think the most extreme one is the 2023 runner up, Finnish performer Käärijä. He ran into Eden backstage and was totally cool with them doing a short, quick rendition of his ESC song together (which you can see in the link below). It was clearly just two people who love music having fun together, but once the vid was posted online, people started attacking him for supporting genocide (because that's not a leap of logic at all), and he quickly put out a message denouncing everything he's said and done ever, including being born. Then he just had to reassure all of his bullies that he's "okay" even further. The Norwegian 2023 singer who was supposed to deliver her country's jury results had already announced she won't as an anti-Israel measure, so when he was supposed to give the Finnish jury vote, he simply announced he won't, letting people make the connection, and figure out for themselves that it was an anti-Israel move.

Still I think you can take the ones who weren't loudly nasty to Eden, and assume most were nice enough to her privately, even if not publicly. To figure out who those probably were, on top of the ones I mentioned above, I'll just give a short rundown of the performers who were being awful about Israel to different degrees (so you can figure out who was at least decent by way of elimination): Ireland, Belgium, Switzerland, the UK, the Netherlands, Greece, Portugal, Lithuania, Norway, Finland, Slovenia, San Marino, Denmark.

I hope I helped... Have a good day! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)