#it's now occurring to me that it's actually 23 days to go today

[jishyucks]

Groceries are Overrated — ldh

‣ pairing: supermarket worker!haechan x customer!reader

‣ genre: fluff, strangers-to-lovers?, sorta slice-of-life

‣ wc: 5.6k

‣ summary: After multiple encounters, you develop a crush on the boy working at your local supermarket. And who knows? Maybe the feeling is mutual.

‣ warnings?: nothing too bad I think!, mentions of hyuck breaking his pinky finger LMAO, jokes of plans to stalk/kidnap (false accusations)

‣ an: uhhhh tell me how I made an entire fic that’s set in a mf grocery store (˶x     x˶);; it genuinely was only supposed to be like 2k or less,, this is how u know that I romanticize EVERYTHING (sigh imagine how easy life would be if situations like these existed)

‣ taglist: @flowerjun @mosviqu

Your roommate, Karina, had the knack of sending you out to the grocery store against your will. In fact, you couldn't even recall how many times it had occurred in the last month. It feels like you’ve dropped by the store every day on the way home and you’re beginning to think that the employees believe you’re crazy.

But, in all honesty, you couldn’t blame her. After all, no one could resist the taste of your cooking and baking.

So here you were, moving up and down the seemingly endless aisles of the store on a mission to locate cream of tartar for your meringue cookies. 

It was odd because you’d usually find the powder alongside the sugars and spices in a bag or container like salt and pepper. Today, it was nowhere to be found, not even the price tag stuck to the shelves that indicated that it was there, just not in stock.

You sigh and slowly make your way down the aisles, laying your eye on every single item sitting on the shelves. Other customers looked at you like you were crazy, occasionally stretching your neck or lowering yourself into a squatting position just to view the bottom shelves. But at this point, you honestly could not give two shits if you looked looney.

“Did you lose something?” A pair of feet appear in front of you in the middle of your squat. You freeze and look up to see an employee looking down at you. He looks like he’s trying not to laugh, “I’ve seen you go up and down the store like… a lot of times.” 

Your eyes widen and laugh sheepishly. Standing up, you shake your head, “Um, actually I was looking for the cream of tartar! I can’t… seem to find it.”

“In the cereal section?” 

Now that you’re up and standing, you get a better look of the worker in front of you and you recognize him as one of the newer employees of the store. You can only say this with full confidence because you’ve been acquainted with a majority of the staff and most, if not, all were older than forty. This employee, you would say, was around your age. You take a quick glance at his name tag and read it. 

Donghyuck.

“You never know!” You laugh again, this time wishing that the ground would just swallow you whole before the (actually really cute) boy could reply to you. How could you embarrass yourself like this?

Donghyuck lets out a short snort, “It’s in aisle six, you know, with the sugars and spices?” 

It takes you a second to realize that you’re currently in aisle 23. “I looked! I swear it wasn’t there!”

He grins, “Then let me take you.” 

The boy begins walking away from you and you trail not too far behind him. If Donghyuck miraculously brings you to the cream of tartar, you’re going to think that the universe is against you.

He walks about three paces in front of you, strides slightly longer than yours. Although you both did not know each other, you found it a bit awkward walking in silence. “Just a random thought but are you a new worker here?”

Donghyuck slows down and turns to look at you, playing off of your question, “What are you, the owner of this place?” 

“No,” You shake your head and laugh, “I just know a lot of the employees here because I go here a lot.” 

“Ah, makes sense,” Donghyuck hums, “I just started working here last week. My grandma works here and I needed extra money so she got me this job.” 

You make a sound of acknowledgment. This time, you decide to joke, “Ohhh, so you’re a nepo baby! So what do you do? Roam the aisles?” 

He gives you a look, but it’s quickly wiped off of his face when he goes to answer you, “I sorta do everything, so if you do go here a lot, you’ll be seeing me everywhere—ah, here we are.” Donghyuck shuffles over to the rows of spices and uses his finger to follow his place. 

“See, it’s not—”

“Found it!” Donghyuck bends down and snatches a bag of cream of tartar. Then, he turns to hand it over to you, the corners of his lips sitting high on his cheeks. 

“Thanks,” you say, unsure of how to end the interaction.

“You’re welcome,” Donghyuck nods, “Well, it was nice meeting you, loyal customer, but I have to go back to whatever I was doing. I’ll see you around!” Before you even get to bid him goodbye, Donghyuck spins on the balls of his feet and starts making his way back to the last aisles.

You’re left thinking how you actually hope to see more of him.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

It’s once in a blue moon that you go to the grocery store for a reason other than ingredients and food. Today, you’re set on finding a plant or two to liven up your apartment. The only problem was you genuinely did not know what plant best suited you and Karina.

You have your phone out, searching up the plant names you can barely read from the name tags. Being that you were in the garden centre of the store, the sun was beating down against your forehead and you’re really wishing that you can find some plants and leave so you can get back to your air-conditioned home. 

Your goal was to find a plant that could thrive without direct sunlight, given that your apartment didn’t receive sunlight all day, and one that might be a bit neglected due to yours and Karina’s busy schedules.

Francee Hosta. You read, a flowering perennial plant. Lavender blooms in the late Summer. Grows tall, 28 inches. Great for landscaping and can fill empty space well. Best in part to full shade.

“Good competitor,” you say under your breath. Mentally, you put a star on the plant and move on, hoping to gather as many options as you can. You’re not even halfway down the entirety of the garden centre so you’re fully confident that you’ll find one, but you just wish that it was actually easier finding the plant you wanted.

You move on, positioning yourself right beside the next plant you intend to research. It resembled a small aloe vera, only each ‘leaf’ was adorned with white stripes. From where you stood, the plant's name tag remained frustratingly out of sight, perched on top of the high racks. 

Letting out a frustrated groan, you stretch yourself as much as you can, reaching for the plant. Balancing on your tippy toes, you strain to touch the pot's glass edge, but it remains just out of your fingertips' reach. 

Before you can fully process the situation, a hand swiftly reaches for the same pot, snatching it away from you, “A zebra plant?”

Falling back on your heels, you turn to find Donghyuck holding the small plant in his hands, “Out of all the plants here, you want a zebra plant?” He holds it out for you to take, which you only do because you’re thrown off by his sudden appearance.

You completely ignore his question and ask him one of your own, “You again?” 

“Like I said, I do a bit of everything,” Donghyuck shrugs, “Wait, but I work here, I should be asking you that question.” 

“I’m trying to look for like two houseplants,” you say, “What’s the problem with zebra plants?” You frown at the poor plant in front of you, getting attacked for absolutely no reason.

“Nothing, there’s just way better ones than it,” Donghyuck snickers. 

You frown, “Well, since you seem to know more about plants than me, can you help me?” You turn to place the plant back. But when Donghyuck notices this, he quickly takes it out of your hands and places it back onto its spot. 

“Of course, of course,” he smiles. And just like a few days before, he starts leading you down the garden centre, eyeing the plants, “Well, what sort of plant are you looking for?”

You explain everything to him, “But I think I prefer smaller plants since my place has limited space.” 

He hums and files through his limited knowledge of plants, “I actually don’t know.”

“I thought you knew things about plants!” Your blink at him, mouth agape, “Why did you even ask me what I was looking for if you didn’t know what I was even talking about?”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “I do but because of the tags.” He reaches over and plucks out the name tags you’ve been using to do research on. Then he flips it around revealing a bulleted list of the plant’s features, “I was going to help you look for one.” 

How the hell did you not see the list in the first place?

“What the fuck,” you say, “That’s been there this whole time?”

“You’re telling me you haven’t been using these to pick the plants out!?” Donghyuck sucks his teeth and shakes his head as if he was disappointed in you. 

You defend yourself, huffing, “To be fair they’re not as visible as they should be.”

Donghyuck hums, “The more you know. How ‘bout I start over there and you continue from where I found you and we meet in the middle?”

You nod, “Sounds good to me.”

The two of you take about half an hour looking for plants, taking the job more seriously than it actually was. You could already predict that one out of the two plants may possibly be dead in two weeks, but it’s the thought that counts. 

“Okay,” Donghyuck approaches you with a plant in hand. Its leaves spill out of the pot, connected to the long, growing stems, “I think this one would be pretty. It’s one of those plants you can hang from the ceilings and it matches what you’re looking for.” 

You take the plant from him and hold it up, taking in its appearance, “I actually like it. I’ll take this one.” 

He nods and takes it back, “Did you find one?” 

You nod, too, showing him the plant you had chosen but sat on a nearby platform, “It looks like an average plant but it should do. Thanks for the help by the way.”

“It’s no problem,” Donghyuck shrugs, “This is the most boring position yet.”

The two of you start walking toward the entrance back into the actual store, passing by other customers, “Really? How many other positions have you worked?”

“This and the one from the other day,” Donghyuck snorts.

You’re genuinely surprised with how well you and Donghyuck can converse despite only meeting once before this. But you like to think it’s a skill you picked up from speaking to the other workers, “You’re kidding.”

“I’m really not,” he shakes his head, “Boring-est so far.” 

Once you two reach the entrance, he halts, “I’ll see you around?” Donghyuck realizes he’s still holding one of your plants and he gingerly hands it over to you. 

“You know it.”

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Karina’s grip around your wrist is so tight that you feel the circulation failing to reach your fingertips. She’s dragging you down the sidewalk, walking at pace way too fast from your usual, “I promise you I’ll be quick. You can just sit at those benches at the front if you want.”

You groan, taking into account the fact that Karina’s begged one too many times to go to the grocery store with her, “Fine. But if you take longer than ten minutes, I’m leaving.” You can’t say no to your best friend completely, not when you know that her time of month’s coming up and she needs to stock up for her cravings and toiletries. 

“Wait, no! I need you to help me carry stuff,” Karina pouts. You both reach the front entrance and now she’s stopped, not ready to go in until she’s satisfied with a plan. 

You sigh, but in a loving way, almost as if you were a mom giving in to her kid’s wants, “Fine. I’ll wait for you.”

She lights up and claps, “Great! Okay you can sit and just wait until I’m about to go for cash.”

You nod, watching her jog in and leaving you to dawdle in not long after. 

“Hello! Good afternoon!”

It was almost a jumpscare hearing that voice, not expecting it to be the first thing you would encounter walking in. Usually the greeter was an older man who was working part-time despite retiring from his old job, but today, it was the very same boy you’ve run into during your two previous visits.

“A greeter?” You snort. 

Donghyuck puts his arms up in defense, “I told you I did everything.”

“Yeah but I didn’t think greeter would be part of that list.” Suddenly, you forget about your desire to sit at the metal bench by the bathrooms.

“Me neither, but here I am,” he shrugs, “What are you doing here?” The question was odd because it’s one you wouldn’t normally ask customers at a supermarket, but Donghyuck thinks it’s perfectly okay to ask you the question because it was your third time that week going to the store.

“My roommate needs things,” you say simply, “Is this position better than the plants?”

“I get to stand here and do basically nothing,” Donghyuck nods, eyes widening, “I get why Mr. June likes it.” 

“Where is he anyway?” You question.

Shrugging, Donghyuck leans against the high counter he was standing behind, “Personal day or something? I’m not too sure.” 

You hum, “Well at least he’s getting the break he needs.”

There’s a brief silence before Donghyuck gasps, brows escalating to the top of his forehead, “I just remembered!”

“Remembered what?” You don’t recall anything that you and Donghyuck have spoken about. 

“This is… weird? But I’ve never asked you for your name,” Donghyuck points out. It’s just now that you realized that he actually hasn’t asked for your name. You both just started speaking to each other as if you knew each other, so introducing yourself never even crossed your mind, “I mean… I think you know mine because of my name tag, but I don’t know yours.”

You narrow your eyes at him, “What if this is some ploy for you to stalk me?” You playfully take a step back and eye him down, “And what if your name isn’t really Donghyuck?”

“I’m not gonna stalk you,” Donghyuck he whines, “And my name really is Donghyuck! You can ask my grandma!”

You let out a laugh and sigh, “I know, I was joking. My name’s Y/N.” 

Before Donghyuck can process everything, he gasps, “Are you the Y/N grandma talks about?” He brings his hand up to his head and runs his hand through his hair, “The Y/N that had to bake for practically an entire village of people?”

“So your Grandma is Mrs. Lee?” You don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing that your heart warms up at the fact that Donghyuck was related to Mrs. Lee, who was probably the sweetest lady you’ve ever met. 

You think it was good because Donghyuck seemed to be close to his grandma, enough for her to get him a job and enough for him to know stories from work—it could really reflect the kind of person Donghyuck was. But now, thinking it through, it could be bad because there was no way you were developing a small crush on a boy you’ve only met twice before today. 

“That’s her,” He nods and allows for a child-like smile to surface on his face, “She’s the best right?”

You almost let out an audible ‘aww’ because of the way you can tell that he was probably a grandma’s boy. You nod, “She is. I should’ve put two and two together.”

His head tilts to the side, “What do you mean?”

“When she’s on cash, she talks about her grandson being a ray of sunshine,” you say. For some reason you suddenly feel shy as you speak to Donghyuck, “She says ‘I just know Hyuckie is going to be such a great man one day!’ I don’t know why it didn’t click that Hyuckie comes from Donghyuck.” 

Donghyuck blushes at the nickname, attempting to use his bangs to hide, “So she talks about me too?” You nod. “I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”

“She hasn’t said anything super embarrassing,” you tease, “The worst one was probably how you were in a rush to get home after an exam just to play video games and you cried cause you broke you broke your pinky. I found it funny but it wasn’t too bad.” 

Donghyuck’s jaw drops in the slightest, “She told you about that?” 

You nod and giggle, “Can I see your pinky?”

“Sorry I don’t usually show it on first dates,” Donghyuck peeks at you at the corner of his eyes and smirks. 

You facepalm, “That sounds so wrong.” You want to laugh but you hold it back, not wanting to give Donghyuck the satisfaction.

“Lee Donghyuck, are you doing your job?” From your right, the voice of Mrs. Lee calls out to her grandson, a delightful blend of playfulness and a touch of seriousness. 

Following the direction, you greet Mrs. Lee with a bow, waving at her before turning back to Donghyuck with hands to your hips, “Yeah, Donghyuck, are you doing your job?”

“Y/N’s distracting me!” He responds in a childlike manner, and Mrs. Lee simply shakes her head in response, a faint smile gracing her lips. As she turns away, you spot Karina waddling down from a cash register with four bags filled to the brim with different things. 

“Y/N!” She calls. She uses her head to gesture to the bags. By this time, she’s standing by the exit, setting two bags down at her feet for you to carry. 

“I have to go,” you say to Donghyuck, “I’ll probably see you the next time I come here, right?”

He nods, “It’s likely.”

“Well, see you Donghyuck!” you turn and wave, “Or should I say, Hyuckie.”

Rolling his eyes, he waves back before quickly flipping you off, but instead of his middle finger, it’s his pinky. You respond with a good-natured shake of your head, gathering the bags in front of you. With a nod to Karina, the two of you make your way out, leaving the lighthearted scene behind. 

“Bye, Y/N.” 

It’s good to finally have a name to your face.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

True to Karina’s suspicions, her period started the day after her cravings. 

And when Karina gets her period, she gets sick. And when she gets sick, you take this as your cue to go to the grocery store to gather ingredients for the special stomach-hugging soup your mom taught you to cook growing up. It was something that you both looked forward to every month despite Karina not being at her best condition.

The produce today wasn’t up to par as it usually was. All were stacked rather messily, making it difficult for you to filter through the veggies. You’re only surprised because in the amount of times you’ve gone to the supermarket, there has not been one day that it organized this poorly. 

“This is like your… fourth time in the last ten days or something?” The voice sounds from behind you, “Just tell me you miss me and go.” 

You turn to see Donghyuck with a cart of banana-filled boxes and it all suddenly makes sense to you, “Why would I miss you?” You turn your attention back to the bok choy sitting to your right and rummage through the pre-filled bags.

“It happens more than you think,” he shrugs, “Reason this time?”

You find a bag that seems pretty good and you plop it into your basket, “My roommate’s sick so I’m making her soup.” 

“Mmm,” Donghyuck hums, “The weather lately has been making me crave hot pot, so soup sounds so good right now.”

“Now you’re making me crave it,” You feel your mouth water at the thought of hot pot on this cool, rainy afternoon and sigh, “But I think my soup’s better than hot pot. Any. Day.”

He scoffs, “I don’t believe you. Nothing can beat hot pot nowadays. Not even kimchi jjigae.” Donghyuck pushes and pulls at the banana cart as if it were a baby in a stroller, “Thank you.”

Your brows furrow, “For what?”

“Now I know what I’m eating for dinner later.” His grin forms a taut line, “Hot pot.” 

You begin making your way to the potatoes, grabbing those thin plastic bags on the way. To your surprise, Donghyuck follows you. You look at him, “Are you sure you aren’t the one who misses me?” “You wish,” he laughs, “I just need to stand still just for one minute at least. Produce clerk has to be the worst. But I do like talking to you.” Donghyuck shifts back and forth on his feet, “Anyway, what is this soup you’re making?” “See you do miss me!” You pick out three decently-sized potatoes and gently drop them into your bag, “It’s a family recipe and it doesn’t really have a name to it. We just call it stomach-hugging soup.”

“There’s a clear difference between me missing you and me liking talking to you,” Donghyuck grumbles, “We barely know each other but it’s just so easy talking to you. That’s why.” The way he nonchalantly says this takes you aback but you try to play it off, this time moving on to some nearby taro roots. 

“Whatever you say, Hyuckie,” you retort. Though he was right. It’s never been this easy for you to talk to someone, better yet, a boy. 

“Hey! That nickname is reserved for special people only!” 

“I’m a special person, aren’t I?” you joke, but quickly wave it off, “Don’t worry, I won’t call you that if you don’t want me to.” 

Repeating your steps from both the bok choy and the potatoes, Donghyuck watches you quietly with a smile that’s so gentle that it would lull a newborn to sleep. You don’t notice this, though, because your mind is distracted by how ungodly big the taro roots are.

“I need to… get back to stacking these bananas but,” Donghycuk gulps, “It would be cool if I could taste this special soup one day.”

You turn to him, and smile, eyes bright at the idea, “Of course. One day.”

He waves and saunters down toward the front of the produce section.

Once he’s gone, you try to make sense as to what Donghyuck was trying to imply. Friends outside of this weird new relationship you both have? Something more than that? You’re not too sure of anything and there was no way you were jumping to conclusions.

Before your thoughts start to eat at you, you shake your head to rid of them all, and along with it, the idea of the small lingering crush (that’s truly starting to develop) on this boy.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

It isn’t until one week later that you return to the supermarket. The reason this time was that you and Karina were truly out of groceries for once (which honestly was not surprising). 

It would be a terrible lie if you said you hadn’t thought of Donghyuck at least once within the last week, wondering how he was doing while constantly being put into different positions at work. You hoped that he wasn’t put onto the floor as a produce clerk like he had been the last time you saw him, both for his sake and for the sake of the store. 

It was late at night when you finally found the time to visit the store, much later than your usual trips. By this hour, the store had bid farewell to the bustling moms and their screaming children, leaving only adults who had dropped by after school or work, much like yourself.

It would also be a terrible lie if you said you weren’t wondering if Donghyuck was here today. 

You grab a rolling basket on the way in, greeting Mr. June when you pass him at the front. You go down the store aisle by aisle while grabbing everything you’ve listed down in your mental list. Occasionally, you brought your phone out to look if you’ve missed any of Karina needed, a screenshot of her text appearing last in your photos. 

You spend an hour or two going through the list, part of which was you comparing two different products to see which one would help you save money. 

Your third terrible lie of the night would be if you said you weren’t jerking your head toward any other person who entered the aisle hoping it would be Donghyuck. 

It was so stupid because this very boy only found out what your name was not too long ago. You’ve only met this boy four other times. And you barely knew anything about him except for the small tidbits you picked up through conversations with him or with Mrs. Lee. 

And this leads you to your fourth (and hopefully, last) terrible lie of the night—that you weren’t disappointed when you didn’t run into Donghyuck during your time at the store. 

You sigh as you load your things onto the conveyor belt, sorting them with pairs or other like things so it would be easier for you to carry everything. In your head, you’re already planning out how you were supposed to carry everything on your own. You’ve done it before, so you can (while harnessing the power of the universe) do it again. 

“This is a lot of stuff.”

You freeze at the voice and you finally look up, finding that Donghyuck was, in fact, your cashier. 

He immediately reads the shock in your facial expression and snorts, “Everything, remember? How’s your night doing?” Donghyuck starts scanning your items, sliding them from one side to the other.

You shrug, “Tiring… Do your shifts usually go ‘til this hour?” 

Donghyuck shakes his head, “Not typically, but I’m filling in for someone today. One of the other employees got sick so I stepped up like the good person I am.” He flashes a proud expression, and you can't help but chuckle at his confidence, “Anyways, where do you live?”

“What?” you laugh nervously, “I swear you suck at hiding your intentions of stalking me.” 

Donghyuck quickly takes back his question, realizing that he worded it all wrong and it being taken out of context was not good look at all. “No no! It’s not that, but…” How can he put this in a non-stalkery way? “My shift is almost done… you have a lot of things to carry… I would like to walk you home?” He cringes at the way it comes out as a question but it’s too late now. 

“Okay, if you’re not going to stalk me,” you think, “What if you kidnap me?”

"I promise, no kidnapping plans here," Donghyuck replies with a playful grin. "I'm a certified good guy, I swear!" Unbeknownst to you, he intentionally slows down his scanning, making sure that he has more time to chat with you (just in case you didn’t agree to his proposal). It's been a week since he last saw you, and this supermarket seems to be the only place where you both get a chance to talk. Besides, there was no one else in line.

There’s this very feeling in your chest that’s practically yelling at you to trust him, so you do, “It’s about two blocks down. It’s not too far, it’s a good eight minute walk.”

“I’ll meet you at the front then?” 

Not even ten minutes later, Donghyuck meets you right where he suggested. He isn’t wearing the vest the employees wore as uniforms. Instead, he’s thrown on a dark hoodie. He picks up your bags, “Let me take those for you~” 

“Didn’t see you coming,” you say, “I can carry one, you know.” You can't deny feeling a hint of nervousness. This marked the first time you were going to interact with Donghyuck beyond the supermarket setting. It's hard not to wonder if your dynamic is shifting from a mere employee-customer relationship to something more meaningful—even if it was just a friendship.

“It’s okay, I insist,” Donghyuck smiles, “Let’s go! Lead the way.”

You stand up and you lead him out the door. You begin taking your route home and Donghyuck quickens his steps to keep up with you, “So, what you’ve been up to the past week?”

A pleasant breeze blows past you both and you turn your head to reply to him just as you’re stopped at a red light, “I’ve just been busy with school and some other responsibilities. I only found time to go to the store after school today.”

“Ah, your load must be heavier than mine,” Donghyuck makes a sound of recognition, “I only have morning classes and then I’m free for the day.” 

“You’re lucky,” you laugh, “Mine usually runs the whole day because my faculty’s suckass at scheduling… but it is what it is, I guess.”

The light switches and you’re both allowed to cross. There are only a few cars waiting to go, which emphasizes how late in the night it actually is. “Well at least you’re holding up,” Donghyuck grins, “You still have time for cooking and what not.”

You nod, “That’s true, you’re right.” 

The conversation between you two unfolds with familiar ease, similar to your convos at the supermarket. Donghyuck brings up Mrs. Lee, questioning about how you came to know his grandmother. You share your story with him, detailing the moments and conversations that led to your connection.

“Are you close with your grandma?” You ask out of curiosity.

“She practically raised me because my parents were mostly out at work,” Donghyuck explains, “Now that she’s a little bit older, I still go over to her place and help around the house. She’s at retirement age, but she likes being busy. So I let her be busy at work and tell her to relax when she’s at home.”

Your heart swells at Donghyuck’s relationship with Mrs. Lee and a slight surge of emotion wells up within you. It really wasn’t helping with the crush you were trying to conceal, not when Donghyuck seemed like a genuinely great guy. 

“I think that’s really sweet of you.” You feel the corners of your mouth rise to your cheekbones, “I bet she appreciates it. She seems to really love you, so there’s no doubt that she does.” 

You finally reach your place and Donghyuck realizes this when you slow to a halt. He can't help but feel a tinge of disappointment that your place isn't farther from the store. Nevertheless, he holds onto the hope that he'll have more opportunities to walk you home in the future. 

You retrieve your bags from his hands and you don’t notice the way his breath hitches at your proximity. “Thanks for walking me home and carrying my bags. Are you fine getting home?” 

Donghyuck nods, “I actually live pretty close, believe it or not, so don’t worry about me. I’ll see you around?” It seems like this was something you’ve been saying to each other a lot.

“Of course and thank you again,” you say, “Goodnight, Donghyuck.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

As you begin to turn away, Donghyuck's gaze lingers on you. Despite it not being your last encounter with him, in that moment, a sense of urgency washes over him, realizing that this might be a pivotal moment. It feels like this decision could only be made now or never.

“Wait!” He calls out. It comes out embarrassingly louder than intended. He swears he could hear his voice echo down the street. 

You pause and turn to face Donghyuck, looking back at him curiously, "Yeah?" There are so many thoughts running through your head, only you couldn’t pick them out for the life of you. 

Donghyuck starts jogging to catch up with you, his footsteps rhythmically hitting the pavement. "I... actually have a question," he says, his voice slightly breathless. "It's been on my mind for the past week."

You meet his gaze with an expectant look, raising your eyebrows and giving a nod, encouraging him to continue.

“This sounds weird but,” his palm finds the nape of his neck and he’s suddenly (extremely) nervous to even be standing in front of you, “I think I like you… and I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date some…time? It’s okay if no, but I just figured that since we get along well that it was worth try—”

“I would love to.” 

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, really,” you retort, giggling under your breath, “I’m actually kinda relieved you made the first move.”

A rush of excitement surges through Donghyuck, and he's almost overwhelmed with the urge to jump for joy, “I’ll plan something out and let you know, if that’s okay? I didn’t think I would actually get this far.” He feels his cheeks heat up out of embarrassment.

“Take your time,” you snort, “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

“Okay! I promise you I will not disappoint!” he exclaims, “Goodnight, Y/N. For real this time.” 

You offer a wordless response, shuffling closer to Donghyuck before rising onto your toes to plant a gentle peck on his cheek.

“Goodnight, Donghyuck.”

(And you best know Donghyuck went home that night skipping, excited to tell his grandma everything the next day.) 

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Thank you for reading! (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ Pls support my fic by liking/rbing (whatever you're most comfortable with!)

[epickiya722]

🐇"WEAK!"🌙

Today, tonight, whatever time of day it is for you, I want to talk about this moment right here.

I have thoughts about this and I know I touched on this topic before but after updating one of my Miruko fics, I thought about this scene some more and realized something.

Here's the thing with Miruko that I think more people should actually stop overlooking.

If you read BNHA Vigilantes (I recommend it and SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN'T), then you would know a bit of Miruko's history.

For those who don't, let me give you a recap of it.

During Miruko's middle school days, she was quite a rowdy one. She would often crash fight clubs and get in trouble for it. Eventually, this lead to her being expelled from her school and taken into custody. Between that time and her high school years, her whereabouts were unknown and I have a theory on that in another post here.

Now this bit of her history is why I think she says "I heard you formed a team. Weaklings."

I don't think she was being "mean" (if anything, I have a feeling that the Lurkers were even formed because of popularity reasons).

I think there's something deeper.

And that is if we dive deeper into her past, the answer is obvious.

Her quirk.

Does it not occur to anyone that Miruko may have been bullied by other people because she has a Rabbit quirk?

Think about it.

What's the first thing you think of when you look at a rabbit? Cute, right? And often how are cute things perceived? As defenseless!

Imagine growing up and people constantly telling you how cute you are, how helpless you look because your quirk gives you rabbit ears and a tail.

Rumi probably got sick of it. She probably started acting out to prove that she isn't some helpless kid (like Izuku). She doesn't have sidekicks, an agency and doesn't work with other Heroes like that because she grew up with the idea she had to carry her own weight and do things on her own so people would stop underestimating her.

Check out her interaction with Rappa.

She may have had to deal with people like him!

Also, not just because of her quirk but also the fact she's female.

Note that there is a lot of male heroes in the industry and the highest ranked female heroes currently are Miruko at #6, Ryukyu at #10 and Mt. Lady at #23. Yet, each of them had to deal with more crap than some of the other heroes. Not just even physical injuries but I bet they have heard some sexist things in their lifetime. Mt. Lady is a starting hero, but so was Kamui Woods and she did more than him during the Kamino incident.

Personally, Miruko is a better hero than the ones ranked above her (both in skill and morals). I'm sticking by that and my mind will not be changed. No, I don't care for a debate about it. You have your opinion and I have mine.

Now, like other kids, I'm sure she idolized admired Heroes, possibly All Might, and wanted to be one. But as it happened to Izuku, she was put down for it because even though she has a quirk, people probably saw it as a "weak" one and that she's a girl.

"Rabbits always running away because they're always scared."

Her motto probably became something like "I'm a rabbit that runs towards the danger, not from it. I am the danger."

Thus lead to her doing what she did in her school days and thinking teamwork is weak. She didn't want people to think she has to rely on others' strengths and to protect herself. She could do that herself.

Think about how she interacts with other Heroes and teamwork. She is cooperative and she doesn't complain ever about working with them. She didn't think twice about helping Endeavor and Hawks out and she didn't protest during the Hospital Raid (or after later in the manga).

And remember when she insists on still fighting and Endeavor told her she done enough?

She probably felt that she still had to keep going, that she had to prove "I'm not helpless, let me still fight" (again, there's that Midoriya).

While it's on my mind, since I touched on Vigilantes.

I also think it's crazy that out of everyone in her past that the one person who did think her quirk was useful was the most evil character in this story and that's All For One.

During chapters 88 - 89 in Vigilantes, AFO is watching the underground fight so he can choose what quirks to steal. However, he (and Kurogiri) was about to call it a lost cause until Rumi showed up and started kicking everyone's asses and changed his mind and attempted to steal her quirk.

That is mad wild to me that she was still training as a Hero, so again another moment of how badass she really is, just a kid and AFO sees this girl with Rabbit ears and a tail and think "I can steal that". Like you got to be one hell of a fighter for AFO to look at you and want to steal your quirk. Rumi took a "weak quirk" and strengthen it and AFO recognized that.

[livwritesstuff]

this is an edited repost of something I wrote last year for the 10-year anniversary of the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School (now 11 years today). to say the least, it’s a difficult day for a lot of people, including me. i wrote this all in one go just as a positive outlet for the things this day evokes and i went back and forth on if i would post it, but i know i’m not the only one who has been affected by these events. if you’re someone who finds this day to be a hard one, this one is for you.

tw: references to gun violence and school shootings

It’s late morning in December 2012 and Steve is watching the news. He isn’t really paying attention to the current segment about opiate use, too busy being completely annihilated in Words with Friends by his eleven-year-old, who just played the word ‘jinxes’ for 23 points, the bastard.

He’s mid-way through sending Moe a text (“get off your ipod you’re in class”) when the channel’s Breaking News intro interrupts the interview that he’d been ignoring. He looks up to see that the headline has changed.

Steve sees shooting, and then elementary school and feels his heart jump into his throat the way it does any time he hears sirens when his daughters or his husband aren’t home – not because he really believes it’s for them, but because it could be. There’s always a chance it could be.

And he’s got two kids in elementary school right now.

He makes himself read the headline in full – it clarifies that the school is in Connecticut, nowhere near him and his house and his children’s schools in the Massachusetts suburbs, but it does little to remedy the panic that has his heart going a mile a minute.

Steve sits for a while, eyes glued to the TV as the anchor slowly ad-libs, clearly waiting for any new scrap of information.

On the first commercial break, Steve checks his phone. He’s got one text – from Moe telling him to play another word in their game. He responds back with the message he’d written before he’d become fixated on the news.

On the second one, he texts Eddie, tells him he loves him and asks if he’s heard what’s going on (he knows he probably won’t get a response for a while – Eddie is notoriously bad at checking his phone and that’s when he’s not in a meeting he’s been looking forward to for weeks, as is the case today).

By the third, they’ve learned the school is on lock-down, but not much more.

Everything he hears after that is nothing short of harrowing, and leaves Steve feeling sick to his stomach.

Eddie finally texts him a couple hours later, after the news anchor has been switched out for another, to say his meeting ran late (an actual director had reached out to him saying she was interested in adapting one of Ed’s books into a movie – today was the day they got to talk in person) and he hadn’t known any of this was going on, but he’s on his way to pick up Hazel from her AM kindergarten session.

Steve’s day continues. He makes lunch, he finishes some laundry, he responds to emails, always with one eye on the news. His shock at what was occurring mere hours south of his home, subsides, slowly replaced with a dull horror because he’s seen a lot of things in his forty-six years of life, but nothing like this. One by one, his three girls return home from school and he hugs each of them like he always does, but today it’s a little tighter.

It’s a Friday, and Friday night is movie night in the Harrington house. It’s Robbie’s night to choose (she picks Spy Kids, like she does every time she gets to pick the movie since it came out last year). Before they start, Steve and Eddie tell their kids what happened. They do their best to find an explanation that is sufficient for ever-precocious Moe, but not too much for Hazel, their sweet kindergartner who only just turned six. Once the movie starts, they all pile under the same blanket, and where there’s usually fidgeting and arguing and occasionally having to pause the movie altogether to wipe tears and wait on a time-out because someone weaponized a foot or an elbow after they weren’t given the big bowl of popcorn fast enough, tonight there is quiet and stillness.

The next day, the girls are back to their normal, bickering selves, but Steve still can’t shake the aching feeling in his chest every time he thinks about what happened the day before. He starts to get that itch in his brain, the same itch he'd felt after he ran out of the Byers’s house in 1983, after he turned back and saw those Christmas lights flickering, the itch where he’s gearing up for a fight.

As the months go on, Steve finds himself reading into gun control laws, finds himself with multiple non-profits fighting for them bookmarked on his computer, finds himself following politics for the first time in his life as he watches bill after bill get shut down by both sides of the debate.

Honestly, Steve isn’t sure why he cares so deeply about this – and not just what happened in Connecticut, but the issue of guns and gun safety in general. It’s not like he hasn’t fired a gun before. It’s not like he’s never seen their value (he still remembers that drive to the War Zone so many years ago). It’s not like he hasn’t ever felt safer with someone nearby wielding one, even if that someone was Nancy Wheeler.

Maybe he’s a little too familiar with children being the casualties in a war they didn’t choose to start, didn’t choose to fight in, and if that had made him angry at nineteen, he’s irate now, now that he has a six-year-old like the students in that classroom in Connecticut, now that he has an eleven-year-old like El when she escaped that lab in Hawkins.

It wouldn’t be the first time Steve threw himself into a battle that had nothing to do with him, that he knew very little about, because he knows what happens when children get caught in the crossfire of a battle that has nothing to do with them, and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he sat idly by and watched it happen again.

[ksyongi]

chapter two : falling for him

pairing: ceo!wonwoo x fem!reader

genre: fake dating to lovers, mutual pining

warnings: language, full lowercase post, drinking, suggestive themes

word count: 3.4k

series masterlist

note: please do not copy my works, reblogs and notes are appreciated.

an: sorry i took so long to do this !! i hope you guys enjoy this chapter !!

synopsis: having to work at a 'jeon' company was already stressful as it was, what about dating the ceo, jeon wonwoo? what would happen in this unexpected situation? would both of you come out as enemies? friends? lovers? unexpected situations occur, and you two would have to encounter them together.

a vibration on the couch pulled him away from his train of thoughts, following the noise to under a cushion, he carefully lifts your head off his lap, as he sighs in relief. he lifts the cushion up looking at the contact name 'oppa💘🦭' wonwoo accepts the call with a visible frown on his face.

"hello sunshine!! how are you? is work still stressful for you last i called you, you ranted about your mean boss?" the unknown person comments. wonwoo wastes no time in asking "who are you." "i should be the one asking, who are you? why are you holding my angel's phone?" "nevermind bye." "don't you hang up on me-"

sighing, wonwoo walks to one of the rooms, coming back with a blanket in his arms. he places it over you before going into the guest room and going to sleep.

you woke up from the sound of your alarm, finding yourself in a big fluffy blanket from your room. 'wonwoo must've put this here...didn't think he'll be such a gentleman,' you thought to yourself. switching on your phone to look at your notifications as your eyes go wide when you saw the missed calls from your brother. 9 missed calls and 23 texts ranging from 'WHO IS THAT MAN' 'DO YOU WANT ME TO COME THERE RIGHT NOW' 'actually i can't its an hours drive BUT STILL.'

 quickly dialing his number, he responds after 3 rings. "OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY? DID YOU HAVE A MAN OVER LAST NIGHT?" "OH MY GOD SEOKMIN STOP SCREAMING ITS FUCKING 8 IN THE MORNING." "oh... heh sorry...." "yes i had a guy over why?" "well maybe he answered my call and i got protective," "HE DID WHAT?" "well look who's screaming now," you could feel his mischievous smirk at the other side of the line. "sorry seokmin i'll call you back, love you oppa."

going to find wonwoo, you storm to the bedroom but you are met with a note on the door. 'hey y/n, i had to attend to something so i left first, see you at the office.' rolling your eyes you quickly shower and throw on any decent outfit you found. you had to get to the bottom of this.

trying to compose yourself before going for wonwoo, you quickly enter a taxi and go to your office. but luck didn't seem to be on your side that day. met with a charge of $40 and a grumpy driver. adding on to that, jae happened to reach at the same time, following you all the way to the lift. "soo where are you headed?" opening your mouth, only needing to say one word for him to shut up "boyfriend." he awkwardly shifts from left leg to the right. 'since when did elevator rides get this long...?' you thought to yourself. the lift reached his level after an eternity, "well, see you later then..." he dashed out of the lift before you could mutter a response back.

reaching the level which wonwoo worked on, it was more tense than your level. a shiver went up your spine as you walked past the other workers. they were all quietly typing away on their keyboards, and there was minimum communication. you turned the corner and saw hansol arranging papers. his face lit up as he saw your presence. "hey miss y/n! thank god you are here, wonwoo is rather colder than usual today, he did not talk to me at all, he only walked into his office right after he arrived. since you're here, could you figure out what is wrong with him? and perhaps cheer him up too? hope i'm not asking for much! thank you!" trying to hold up a genuine smile, you nodded, and proceeded to knock on the door.

a faint "come in" could be heard as you slowly turn back as hansol mouths a 'good luck', two thumbs up as he scrunches his nose. you turn back to the door and enter. wonwoo is seated at his desk, glasses perched up on his nose like how you saw him for the first time. however, his eyebrows were furrowed, a worried look in his eyes as he tried to work.

 "oh y/n..." "wonwoo." "hopefully you saw my message, hope you are okay with that-" "cut the small talk, you know what i am here for. with all due respect, we must still respect each other's boundaries. being my 'boyfriend' does not mean that you can answer any of my calls." "does that mean you are hiding something y/n? you could have already told me that you were dating somebody, it would have been easier from the start." scoffing, you shake you head. "maybe if you'd not jump to conclusions and listen. the person who called, he is my brother, don't get any ideas alright? rather than this conversation getting heated, i think we both need some space." with that, you stormed out of the room.

hansol looked at you, "kinda got a hint...you didn't shut the door all the way so i could hear a tad bit of the conversation, hope you are going to be okay," hansol gives you a grin as you wave, walking off to do your work. you walked back to your desk with more forceful steps, plopping yourself on the seat before replying to your emails. you were close to screaming at him, thankfully you didn't. you did not even want to think about it at that point.

you could not be bothered with the looks of others as they throw at you already, nor the comments they throw at you. "oh i bet she tricked him so she could get in his pants." "ugh...i thought jeon wonwoo would have  better taste." and the list of comments goes on... you could simply roll your eyes at their boldness to make such remarks so loudly, its as if they want you to hear. well, you got yourself into this mess. no way wonwoo was going to let you break of the agreement anytime sooner and jae would just pounce at you the second he got the news that you 'broke up.' gosh....this is too complicated and stressful.

grabbing your wallet and phone to go for your lunch, you'd ask hansol but you don't want to risk getting in contact with wonwoo again. so....lunch alone it is..... strolling to the lift, placing your airpods in your ears-mostly to not hear the chatter of the others. a certain blue-headed guy interrupted your 'alone time' you raised your eyebrows at him as his hands signalled to take off your airpods. "are you y/n? the supposed girlfriend of jeon wonwoo?" your jaw clenched as you forcefully let out a "yes." "oh..my.GOD...YOU'RE SO PRETTY! oh how rude of me, i haven't even introduced myself." using his hand to hit his mouth as he nagged himself you could make out the words 'how could you forget common curtsey' and the rest of the words were scrambled. he finally faces you. "i am boo seungkwan, i work in the office of jeon wonwoo so you might not see me often since i'm always piled up in that paperwork...but hi!" you felt the sides of your lips curl up at his character. "you probably know me already don't you? its nice to meet you," seungkwan lets out a bright smile. you reach out your hand for him to shake but he throws his arm around your shoulder, "well, i see you're alone for lunch aren't ya? my best friend is busy and can't go with me today soo lets go together!" 

you were at the usual barbeque place with seungkwan. both of you just glued to your seat at this point. according to seungkwan, he knows all sorts of drama and can gossip with literally anybody. somehow all the news would go to him and he would spill it to anybody-on the condition that they buy him an iced americano. which was actually fair to you. he's actually a really good listener too? you were telling him everything about your 'relationship' with wonwoo...except the part where its all fake. you really did not want to talk about anything related to wonwoo at the moment. but seungkwan somehow managed make you spill most of the information.

his eyes bulging and eyebrows raised and mouth trying to gasp as he eats his piece of meat you explained, he would add in comments from time to time like "never thought mr jeon would do that..." "NO WAY HOW COULD HE?" "i refuse to believe whatever you are telling me right now." you could only close your eyes and nod.

you two headed back when you saw your other colleagues going out of the door, the bell leaving a 'ding' noise with every swing which always annoyed you. grabbing his coat in one hand and holding the door open with the other, you held a grin and thanked him before concluding your conversation.

walking into your office building, you bid your goodbyes to seungkwan,"it was nice talking to you, hope to do this more often!" seungkwan chirps. nodding your head and waving, he gives one final wave before turning around and leaving. the smile from your face practically vanished from your face when you saw wonwoo in the distance looking at you with a raised eyebrow before walking over to you, hands in pockets like his usual stance.

you talked to yourself in your mind trying to get yourself out of the position you were in. 'no. no i do not want this day to get possibly worse ugh move your legs please y/n. yes that eyebrow raise is hot as fuck but please cooperate with me this time.' cursing wonwoo's long legs, you could swear he teleported right in front of you. "can we talk." you shook your head and turned around. "are you fucking serious? our colleagues are watching and you decide to act like a child to get more rumors?" he says under his breath. only then you realize the amount of eyes that are on the two of you. "follow me." wonwoo starts walking at that stupid pace which is too fast for you,  "could you slow down and actually look like you care for your 'girlfriend'?" you said at a voice only audible for him to hear.

hearing a sigh from him and deciding to ignore it, he slows down before following him to a spare meeting room.

"come over to my house after work." he says, hands returning to his sides after closing the door. he leans against the door, looking at you with his usual blank look. "um what?" your face heating up at the possibility of- "don't get any ideas." wonwoo breaks your imaginative bubble above you. "i simply just want to have dinner to make up for what happened earlier." crossing your arms, you look back at him right in his eyes, "fine." he nods before an awkward silence fills the room.

you break the silence, "soo what are you going to do about the rumors of us? uh i mean like not i heard any its just that there might be people not believing us dating." "not like i care about them, they won't dare to open their mouth in front of me anyways." you frown at his answer, "but there are still girls trying to get you to sleep with them, please tell me you see those girls with the tight fitting dresses..." wonwoo's lips curled up into a smirk, "well ms jealous, would you rather me make out infront of them with you? or or how about i go and chain you to me the whole day to show them you are 'mine'."

wonwoo leans onto the table, getting closer to you. you place both of your palms on the table too, your faces only inches apart. "well, i'd not mind that....sir." "tsk don't play with me, you know i won't mind." with that, he shakes his head and leaves the room. you really didn't understand... you don't like jeon wonwoo but why does he make you feel such things... there's no time to think about these things... nevermind.

timeskip

when you were packing your stuff into your bag, after finishing all your assignments, you got a message.

6:47pm

wonwoo: i'm waiting in the carpark.

y/n: okay let me pack my stuff first

you quickly go into the lift and descend to the carpark level. you see his car already waiting at the drop of point. wonwoo was holding the steering wheel with one arm and the other was hitting the gear with his index finger at a constant pace. you open the door and wonwoo gives you a nod in acknowledgement before heading off to his house

you could say yourself, you were impressed. wonwoo's house looked wayy more expensive that you thought it will but it had a minimalist interior, most of his furniture in black and white. wonwoo walked over to you, helping you take off your coat and place it on the rack. "oh thank you," you mumble. wonwoo darts his eyes left to the right before saying "uhm i invited you to dinner but i may have forgotten that my personal chef was unwell..." "oh that's fine" you reply, "i mean you can just cook right?" "um...about that, i can't." "WHAAT??" "shut up, don't rub the fact in even more." "well, do you have any alternatives?" wonwoo raises his eyebrows at you, "of course i do. JISOO COME HERE." a certain brown haired man peeks his head at the hallway before walking towards the two of you.

"yes sir? how can i help you?" "could you bring me my 'no chef situation' food?" "yes, sure thing sir." with that jisoo walks away and in less than two minutes, he comes back holding....a pair of cup noodle packets?? "i really thought you would have some 'jeon wonwoo expensive' food as a backup?" "zip it, i'm a human too okay? i need some instant noodles sometimes." you fall back onto the couch, waiting for the noodles to finish cooking.

"oh shit i almost forgot" wonwoo quickly got up to his feet and walked off somewhere. he comes back with a bouquet of roses with a feint blush dusted across his cheeks. his head slightly turned to the side, not being able to look into your eyes. you look at the flowers in his hands in awe, "thank you so much wonwoo," "hope you accept my gift as an apology" he stutters out. you grab the flowers in your hand and delicately place them beside your noodles on the table.

you two take your cups full of noddle's and start eating them. you decide to get to know him even more. "so although our get to know each other session got cut off last time, tell me more about you." "you really do? i have a real shitty past to be honest." - "well, at least you have me as an outlet to get rid of all that pent up stress." "alright."

wonwoo sighs before he continues, both of  "i had to become the ceo of this company when i was barely 18, my father decided to pass it on because my grandfather got ill and my father had to take care of him. by the way, i’m sorry if i bore you because i really suck at all of this. so my father just threw all the work at me with no guidance whatsoever but just to be his 'slave' and make sure the company does well. luckily i had hansol who was there from day 1, he helped me with my work and mistakes although being almost as clueless as i was. but its just that i did not realize that it would mean i would be busy so often. from back to back meetings and with phone calls at any time of the day, there is always some sort of stress when in my position. guess nobody was there for me to help me with my struggles."

you speak up, "no, don't say that wonwoo i'm here okay? just give me a ring anytime you want to talk about anything, don't worry although i'm your fake girlfriend, i will make sure you know you are not alone in this.

there’s a moment of silence before wonwoo goes and gives you the warmest hug. you were speechless. you slowly come to the realization and wrap your arms around his too. "thank you..for being there for me.." wonwoo says in almost an inaudible whisper. he slowly returns back to his normal position on the couch. you both continue eating, "well... wanna watch something...? i'm choosing though, no more sci-fi please."

reaching for the remote, and going to netflix, you see the show '50 shades of grey' at the recently played show column. your eyes go wide before turning to him. "what? i'm a man too okay? i'm mature enough for these things and i heard it's a good show." "no i’m just shocked you watched this for the first time ONLY NOW??"  he gives you a frown, "i’m sorry i don't have much time to watch a show and possibly get horny and jerk off?" you roll your eyes and settle on the show puss in boots.

"y'know, puss reminds me of you." you comment. he squints his eyes at that, trying to find any sort of relevance. "how?" he inquires. "well, maybe because you look like a cat too. you're charming like him too." wonwoo gave you a smug look "well, tell me more." "that's for another day, lets play something shall we?" he sighs, "well do you have any board games here?" "uh well..." wonwoo scratches his head-"so i may only have uno..." "eh that'll do." you say.

wonwoo walks over and opens one of the drawers. he pulls out the deck and you grab it from his arms. splitting the cards and shuffling them with ease. "you know the rules don't you?" "please i am not that boring to not know how to play this game." you let out a chuckle. you deal the cards, 7 each. an idea pops into your head. "well, how about we do drinking and uno. get your stash of liquour out hm? " you tell wonwoo. "didn't know you drunk." wonwoo blankly says before walking off and coming back with four bottles of soju in his hands. "what's your tolerance?" he asks you. "uhm one and a half maybe?" he scoffs at that. "you?" you shoot back. "three." - "wow show off."  "you asked me, i respond."

"plus..two." wonwoo joyfully says. "no you plus two!" you answer, "plus another two...HAHAHAHA" wonwoo triumphs "plus....four!" you exclaim, "nooo...YOU plus....uh FOUR!!!" wonwoo rejoices. "awh man.. thought i got you.." you start to sob in your hand, the other picking up eight cards. you didn't care that you two were tipsy, anyways the day after was a saturday so who cares? you were nearly gone and wonwoo was still quite stable compared to you. "skip your turn, its mine ! and uno! so... hah plus another four and I WIN IN YOUR FACE AHAHA," wonwoo cheers. "you must've cheated! you are so mean." you say with a huff.

"alright alright time for you to sleep missy. i'll bring you to the guest room" wonwoo grabs your arms and picks you up bridal style and carries you up the stairs. "goodnght y/n" wonwoo says with a small smile on his face after he places you on the bed. "goodnight y/n" he says. "tuck me in." "ugh….fine.." "can't you sleep here with me?" you ask, grabbing his arm. "no i won't, let me go." "fine. go then..just when i thought i liked you." wonwoo's body stiffens at that. "goodnight, you are just drunk." wonwoo quickly strides out of the room before closing the door in a haste. he decided he'll bring this up when the time was right... but he couldn't help his heart from racing when he heard that.

taglist: @dinosbestie @odetoyeonjun @sdoulc @sunggasm @cersti-mo0 @itsveronicaxxx

@seventeenstanner @butterfliesinthenightsky @monmarguerite

@shuabby1994 @lachinitaaaaa @everyw0nu @lovelywoo @teti-menchon0604 @wonusdoll @iamcool789 @meltinghershey

[eaymtb]

Oof, today has been a slow progress day so far. I had to go back and do some rearranging. For the better. For one the pattern of POV's is now an actual pattern, lol. Clearly that's the most important thing. It does actually make more emotional sense now, though, the pattern flow is just a nice bonus. Also two of the planned POV's are obsolete, their reasons for existing have been merged into other sections. This is also good, because I wasn't really sure about those segments anyway and usually when I'm not sure about something in the outline, it's because it's not actually a good idea. We're now about 23% less melodramatic and 12% more in-character.

All the outlined POVs after those two are now also obsolete, however! XD Possibly also a good thing considering I'm already at about 5.5k words in total. I'm going to finish Zack's current POV, and see what I can salvage from my notes for Genesis' next one after that. And then spend tomorrow (as planned, go me!) working on the outline again for the rest of the chapter.

The following edits have also been made: Chapter 28. Kadaj no longer calls Cloud 'mother' while discussing whether or not to kill Sephiroth. I haven't liked that for a while. In hindsight Cloud wasn't actually distracted enough to have missed it, for one thing. It also makes the time Kadaj does call Cloud mother, now, a little bit more impactful. Chapter 29. Swapped the order of the POV’s so it now goes Cloud > Zack > Cloud > Zack, instead of Cloud > Zack > Zack > Cloud, for better chronology and flow. Chapter 30: Angeal's description of Cloud in chapter 30 is now more appropriately 'about a foot shorter' instead of 'about half a foot'. I don't know my measurements, lol. Chapter 35: Angeal is now gone for maybe 20 minutes while checking up on Zack and giving Sephiroth and Genesis time to talk defection. There is no longer a vague reference to off screen discussion of 'practical matters'. Instead Genesis convinces Sephiroth to nap and drags Angeal away almost immediately after Angeal agrees to defect. Chapter 36: The date-stamp has been changed. Instead of Friday, it is now Thursday, and occurs alongside the events of chapter 35 and Genesis' arrival in Wutai. Small changes in the text have been made to reflect the change of day, as well as changes to the description of the sunlight to indicate that the events take place from from midday into the afternoon, instead of from morning to midday.

Each chapter has an edit annotation in the end notes, and chapter 37's author's note at the beginning will include the above as well.

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 23

"Heads up, NERV, becuase the 16th Angel is going to bring you down! That's right, you may have defeated all those other Angels, but I'm even stronger than all of them put together! I'm like a laser rope or something, and I've got creepy powers that let me burrow under people's skin or whatever. Oh, and those big guns your Evas use? Big deal! Those don't work on me! Now, take your best shot, humans, because it's the only chance you're gonna... wait."

"Kid, are you okay? Uh... don't you want to shoot at me or something?"

"Ma'am, I think the red one's having some kind of problem, maybe you could send out... Ma'am? Hello?"

"Uh... maybe I should come back tomorrow? Is that okay? Yeah, we'll pick this up some other time. Uh... sorry about... whatever just happened. Yeesh."

So Asuka is doing... well, I wouldn't call it "okay", but she's playing video games all day and spending every night at her friends' house. I mean, there's probably worse ways to cope with everything she's been through.

The SEELE group is mad at Gendo Ikari for several reasons, but most recently he lost the Lance of Longius during the most recent Angel battle, and they seem to think it's extremely important to their future plans. Gendo argues that the top priority of NERV is to destroy the Angels, and the Lance was the only way to do that. But they don't see it that way. During this little conference, another Angel is sighted over Tokyo-3, so Gendo excuses himself to deal with that. Meanwhile, SEELE openly worries that Gendo will betray them soon.

Let me try to summarize what I know about these guys. They seem to have something called the "Dead Sea Scrolls", which apparently allows them to predict certain future events. It occurred to me today that the name "Dead Sea Scrolls" may be a reference to the site of Second Impact, since Admiral Clownshoes once compared the waters of post-Impact Antarcica as a literal "dead sea".

Anyway, the SEELE plan apparently is their agenda to guide humanity beyond the dangers predicted in the Dead Sea Scrolls. The NERV Agency is charged with executing that plan, and SEELE also seems to believe that the Lance of Longius is critical to their success. They also think there should be at least eight Eva Units active.

But Gendo Ikari can barely keep three Evas in the field at the same time, and he seems to think that the only one he absolutely needs is Unit 01. So SEELE is mad about the destruction of Units 03 and 04, and the Lance being chucked into outer space, but Gendo Ikari considers this acceptable losses.

SEELE's dilemma is that they don't like or trust Gendo, but they have no alternative but to let him run the show. He's the only one who can, and yet they seem adamant that they understand the situation better than he does. Recently, they tried to turn Admiral Clownshoes against Gendo, but nothing came of it, so now they need another pawn to use against him. This turns out to be Ritsuko Akagi, so seems to be a better choice, since she actually knows more about what's going on.

So with the 16th Angel headed their way, the only one ready to fight it is Rei in Unit 00. Shinji is set up in Unit 01, but Gendo doesn't want to use him because no one is sure what might happen after that latest incident where Unit 01 went berserk and ate an Angel. As for Unit 02, Asuka suits up one more time to pilot it, but her sync rating has declined to the point where she literally can't operate the Eva anymore. Gendo orders it launched for use as a decoy, but it can't even step off the elevator when it reaches the surface. This doesn't help Asuka's morale at all.

Anyway, I think that's a really cool screenshot of Rei up there. I don't know, she just looks really sharp.

The Angel goes right for Rei, who grab it, but her gun is ineffective, and the Angel sends some sort of creepy veins into her Eva, and then into her own body.

Like Shinji from before, she experiences some sort of vision of another being, which appears in her form. Once again, I can't tell if this is the Angel or her own Eva. It offers to merge with her, and she refuses.

She snaps out of it and realizes that she was the one crying over her loneliness, and not the other she encountered in her mind. I think the Angel's effect on her is supposed to be intensely painful, but Rei's so stoic and unexpressive that she just isn't letting on.

With no other options, Gendo deploys Shinji to assist, but Rei doesn't want to put him at risk, so she activates some sort of self-destruct on her Eva. She refuses to abandon the Eva, because she needs to stay with it to maintain its AT field. I'm not sure why the self-destruct would work, since Rei already shot the Angel at point-blank range with no effect, but it does destroy the target, so I guess she knows what she's doing.

Ritsuko leads a recovery mission and they find the entry plug from Unit 00, but there doesn't seem to be any evidence of survivors.

Afterward, Misato tries to comfort Shinji but he refuses any affection from her, as it his wont. Then Misato gets a phone call...

And Rei's alive! Suspiciously, she has all the same injuries she had when she debuted in Episode 1, but I don't know if that's supposed to mean anything. Shinji thanks Rei for sacrificing Unit 00 to save him from the Angel's powers, but she has no memory of doing that.

Shinji doesn't understand, and she replies that it's "probably because I'm the third one." Hoo-boy.

At her home, Rei... well, a Rei, I suppose... she finds that broken pair of glasses from the time Gendo rescued her from the entry plug. She had kept them as a momento of that day, but now Rei... this Rei... grips them tightly, as though trying to crush them. Then she stops, and starts crying, and she doesn't know why.

Rei's apparent survival does raise some awkward questions. Admiral Clownshoes warns that this might cause problems with SEELE, and Gendo says he's bypassed this by sending them "an alternative."

That is, apparently, Ritsuko, who has been brought before SEELE to answer their questions in Rei's place. This is sort of like when SEELE questioned Misato a while back, because they wanted to talk to Shinji, and Misato refused to allow it because of his poor mental state. Well, this time Ritsuko is standing in for Rei, probably because Gendo didn't want SEELE to learn more about Rei.

And for some reason, Ritsuko appears to be nude for this interview? I mean, she could be wearing some strapless dress or something. I don't know what the point of this is. Anyway, she acts cool about it until SEELE informs her that Gendo was the one who put her here on the hot seat in Rei's place.

Meanwhile, Misato finally opens that little capsule Kaji gave her the last time they had sex, and it contains a little microchip. His voice mail to her said that he had sent her the same information at least thirty-six ways, but he knew most of them wouldn't make it. Presumably, this was the one that got through. I had wondered why Misato hadn't bothered to follow up on Kaji's investigation of NERV's secrets, and it looks like she's been too busy grieving over him to get to this point. So it looks like she's finally ready. Maybe Rei's miraculous survival was what tipped the scales.

Later, Ritsuko calls Shinji and takes him down to the bowels of NERV headquarters, but Misato shows up to meet them and pulls a gun on Ritsuko. Misato wants to see the secret for herself, and Ritsuko agrees, if Shinji can come along. Misato's fine with that, so off they go.

She takes them to a room that looks a lot like Rei's apartment, and Ritsuko explains that Rei grew up in that room. Then she shows them a chamber full of failed Eva models, including the one Shinji's mom was working on when she died. Apparently Shinji doesn't remember that he saw her die, but Ritsuko tells him he was there when it happened.

Then she takes them to the room where Rei would soak in that tube full of Tang. As I thought, this is how they made the Dummy Plug, but it's more than just recording Rei's brain patterns.

All around the room is a big tank full of Reis. I kind of saw this coming, but still, this is pretty creepy.

What's extra creepy is how they all open their eyes and smile at Shinji when he says their name. Ritsuko explain what they are and what they're for, but I don't really get it. Let me just transcribe the subtitles:

"Right, this is the production factory. These are all dummies. They are also replacement parts for Rei. Man found God, and they tried to pick him up. For that Man was punished! That was fifteen years ago, and the God they found disappeared. Then Man tried to resurrect God with his own hands, and created Adam. From Adam, Man created what resembles God, Himself. That is Eva! We put supposedly mindless human souls in Eva. All the souls were salvaged souls. Rei is the only container that can hold the souls. The souls are born only in Rei. The Room of Guaf is empty. These are empty containers. They have no souls. So, I want to destroy them because I hate them."

Ritsuko triggers some sort of destruct mechanism that causes the Rei bodies to disintegrate. As they die (?), Ritsuko explains that she was willing to endure any humiliation for Gendo Ikari, but in the end, he would always prefer "these dolls" over her.

And she knew it would be this way, because she was there when her mother tried to win Gendo's heart, and ended up destroying herself because she couldn't win over Rei. I guess Ritsuko also had the hots for Gendo? She might be speaking in a more platonic sense, I don't know. The point is that all her years of loyal service to Gendo are meaningless, and he'll sell her out to protect Rei in a heartbeat.

That's what she realized in the SEELE conference, so I'm not clear on what exactly went on there. Did they punish her for the loss of Unit 00? Was that why Gendo sent her in Rei's place? Is that why Ritsuko was nude? In any event, Ritsuko's finally decided she's had enough, so she's turning on Gendo, at least as far as destroying all the spare Reis and showing Misato and Shinji all the super secret stuff.

The thing is, does that even matter? I mean, Gendo's no dummy. He probably betrayed Ritsuko this way knowing she would turn on him like this. For all we know, this is part of his plan. Maybe that's why Ritsuko starts crying, and why she pleads for Misato to kill her.

Misato declines to shoot Ritsuko, and considers that the tragedy of this whole project lies in its people, including herself.

So... yeah. NERV has been mass-producing Rei for years, and I think it's reasonable to assume Rei is at least partially based on Yui Ikari. I'm not sure that Gendo is like, in love with the clones or something. The Akagis may have been frustrated that he likes Rei more than them, but I think it's more of a situation where Gendo is too fixated on his work to love any woman, even a woman who helps him with his work. And the work is embodied by Rei so that's why he gets along so well with Rei. I guess.

The next episode looks forward to the final battle against the 17th Angel, which is supposed to be the last one, but apparently they still haven't finished Episode 24, since the preview is all rough sketches and animation layouts. I guess we'll see what we see...

[disastardly]

characters out of context game

Rules:

Include one character quote — of your choosing ⁠— from each chapter of your WIP (or as many chapters as you'd like)

Give absolutely no context, save for what's between two parts of an interrupted sentence, should that occur. You may mention who said it.

Have fun, no pressure!

@eriquin​ tagged me, thank you!!

Gonna do Emergence just because that’s the only WIP I’ve got right now with more than one chapter remotely written, haha. Buckle up, it’s a long’n, so it’s going under the break.

Chapter 1:

The apprentice added, voice squeaking, “What does this mean?”

Chapter 2:

“It’s all the magic,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Totally interrupts typical radio waves.”

Chapter 3:

“Good luck with your war.”

Chapter 4:

“Can you hear them too? The trees?”

Chapter 5: 

“So what are you gonna do now, knowing what’s out there?”

Chapter 6:

“So I guess you see us in that future, huh?”

Chapter 7:

“Nick, jesus, did you forget how keys work?”

Chapter 8:

“No comments on my skanking, got enough of that in middle school.”

Chapter 9:

"Listen, I'm not saying plants aren't great. Love the stuff. Can't get enough. But isn't botany kind of, you know… slow?"

Chapter 10:

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It all just happened so fast and I was worried what people would think.”

Chapter 11:

“No, but Xander and I had a great talk. Really aired out how I’m not wanted here.”

Chapter 12:

“They’re dating, ya ding-dong.”

Chapter 13:

“Do you even know how to drive one of these things?”

Chapter 14:

“Still can’t believe you, Madison Rocca, conned me. No one cons me. Was all that before, was that a ploy? Lull me into a false sense of security?”

Chapter 15:

“Gotopromwithme.”

Chapter 16:

“How many ‘maybe a dingo ate your baby’ jokes did you get?”

Chapter 17:

“Oh cool, it’s dirt, just like all the other dirt.”

Chapter 18:

“And yet, against all odds, you have survived, when the Darkness kills most it touches. It is a truly remarkable feat for anyone, let alone a new practitioner.”

Chapter 19:

“Toby thinks we’re getting ice cream from that fancy truck round the corner.”

Chapter 20:

"Is it still leering if we're all naked?"

Chapter 21:

“Okay, so, dark magic.”

Chapter 22:

"Hey, I think if you hit them in that big Z on their chest, they explode!"

Chapter 23:

“Hey Xan? Good catch on this one. Having a heads-up isn’t a luxury we’re gonna get often.”

Chapter 24:

“I’m gonna find that monster and I’m gonna tear it to pieces with my own hands,”

Chapter 25:

“You flaunt your power and yet it slips through your fingers so easily,”

Chapter 26:

"Very little goes on in Root Core that I do not know about. And," she added, leveling a wily smirk at them, "I too was young once. You would not believe some of the tomfoolery we engaged in at your age."

Chapter 27:

“Filled with life, joy, and power, we now declare our wills for the next year. Jump the coals, pass through the smoke, and send your will into the greater universe.”

Chapter 28:

(this chapter is all internal monologue!)

Chapter 29:

“If we’re not duly impressed, guaranteed he’ll sulk all day, so prepare yourselves.”

Chapter 30:

“You’ll have to go through me if you want them, you sick fuck.”

Chapter 31:

“My magic doesn’t work, your magic doesn’t work, there’s no way out. Good job, Dad, we’re going to die here.”

Chapter 32:

“Least this narrows down where we need to look. ‘Torture dimension’ is a lot more specific than ‘anywhere, ever.’”

Chapter 33:

"Haggling with a dying man. How noble. What would your White Witch think?"

Chapter 34:

"If it is not, it is something wearing his face,"

Chapter 35:

“Yeah, anyone else want to come out as my parent today?”

...and that’s as much as I have written right now! Currently 50 chapters on the docket, so I’m inching closer to completion (and therefore, actually posting this behemoth.)

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

Prompt Compilation

I have waaaay too many different pages of prompts, so I'm putting them all here so for future reference, if you request a prompt, this is the number system I'll be referencing.

Sorry for the inconvenience, I'm figuring it out as I go!

1)“My hair is better than yours.”

2)“All I need is a kitten and a glass of warm milk.” “For the kitten?” “No, for me you dipstick.”

3)“Did you just kiss me?”

4)“Did you see that?” “Um…” “The correct answer is no, you didn’t.”

5)“Why are you so red? All I said was “I love you” in Portuguese.”

6)“How come we always end up calling each other when we can’t sleep?”

7)“Bite me.” “Kiss me.”

8)“I vote to make today a pyjama day!”

9)“The day you make me/him/her laugh is the day whales walk on land.”

10)“Stop stealing my clothes.” “No.”

11)“Is that the best you can do?”

12)“You have no idea who I am do you?”

13)“You’re built like the love child of mount Everest and a silverback gorilla, and I’m the weird one?!”

14)“Stop it, your face is doing that thing again.”

15)“I’m gonna do the thing.” “Don’t do the thing. Please don’t do the thing.”

16) "I know I said "Dude" was gender neutral, but that doesn't mean you get to call me dude five minutes after your dick was down my throat."

17)"You're the first one who's ever kept up with me." "Hell of a way to call me horny."

18)"Have you no shame?" "Nope, none. Now get over here and fuck me. Or let me fuck you, I'm not picky."

19)"You've gotta choose one or the other!" "Why? Both are awesome!"

20)"He'll hear us!" "Let him."

21)"Sharing is caring."

22)"I said, sit."

23)"I don't need to be jealous. He's/She's/Your mine."

24) "I'll teach him how to make you feel good."

25) "Goddamn you're good at that."

26) "Now this, this is a view I could get used to."

27) "Don't look at me like that, you'll bite off more than you can chew."

28) "Oh baby, you might just be more than I can handle... I like it."

29) "Try me, lil'lady/pretty boy."

30) "Want me to do that again?"

31)‘I reject your reality and substitute my own!’ ‘I don’t think that’s how reality works.’

32)‘why isn’t there a welcome mat on your doorstep?’ ‘Because I’m not a liar.’

33)‘I am neither caffeinated nor drunk, do you really want to have this conversation right now?’ ‘No ma’am/sir.’

34)‘You need sleep.’ ‘Why? We all die anyway!’

35)‘I’ll be damned, shit went wrong and it wasn’t even slightly my fault!’ ‘The day is young.’

36)‘You can be a real ass sometimes you know that?’ ‘You should hear the things I don’t say.’

37) ‘Fuck you.’

‘Mmm, fuck me.’

‘What?’

‘What?’

38)‘I got you, I always got you.’ ‘But who’s got you?’

39) ‘I love you!’ ‘You have terrible taste.

40) ‘Don’t treat the person I love like that! You rip yourself apart and expect me to watch?! I’ll put you back together as many times as you need me too, but you need to stop being the one ripping out the stitches.’

41) Watcha doin’? ‘Did you know all three of the e’s in “Mercedez” are pronounced differently?’

42) I love you too much to protect you from this.

43) What's your least favourite animal? 'People.' (Based on an actual conversation with a student)

44) Even if you’re faking it, even if it’s a lie, just this once, kiss me like you mean it. 

45) Sit still and let me fix you, you gorgeous mess. 

46) You’ve got to have a guardian angel. Yeah? Well, that bitch drinks. 

47) A thought has occurred to me: fuck this. 

48) Ey, why do we give the important jobs to the guy who’s only brain cell is competing for second place? 

49) For someone who claims not to like guys, you care an awful lot about where other people put their dicks.  

50) You are going to let me go. I'm not asking any more.

51) I want to go home! No amount of begging is going to get you back to a place that doesn't exist anymore!

[dzpenumbra]

7/3/23

Good lord, the night got away from me. It's already almost 5, the sun is coming up. Agh!

I got so much done today, I'm still kinda blown away. I started the day still a bit miffed about the granola that didn't get delivered in my grocery order yesterday... I was really enjoying starting my day with granola and yogurt, it's starting to become my thing. And not having chicken just completely threw off my whole menu, my only protein is chicken (except for eggs in some meals). So... I decided to roll with the punches.

I started to plan out making my own granola. It's most likely going to be cheaper in the long run and I can customize it to make whatever kind of granola I want. There's going to have to be experimentation to get to that point... but yeah, I think I can pull it off. So I started to place a new order to a different grocery store (just to play it safe, in case the one I've been ordering from's supply chain is just fucked), and went with oats, dried strawberries, white chocolate and vanilla. I think it's going to work pretty well. I also decided to get a thing of tofu with it, because fuck it. If I'm already this far and my only step away from vegetarianism is some pre-cooked rotisserie chicken... is it really that big of a leap to just substitute tofu? I guess we'll see. I'm going to save that order for tomorrow afternoon.

I then checked on my plants and saw that my beans are getting ridiculously big. It occurred to me I should get a trellis delivered from Lowe's or something. I was tempted to just walk into the woods and grab some sticks but... it's awkward because I would have to walk back through the gut of town and through my entire building with some 8-foot branches. I'm still feeling self-conscious about shit like that, I really don't know why and I wish I could be a bit more shameless. Like... if I were with one person, I would be fine with it. But alone... it just makes me feel like I have a spotlight on me. I hope I can do something about that soon. I miss the shamelessness of snowskating in the park, I wish I could just magically transfer it over to weird art things.

Instead of going with that plan... I got creative. I remembered that I got a big roll of sisal rope to fix up Max's cat tree for Christmas, and I had a shit-ton left over. So I started my day (before coffee even) weaving a net out of three huge pieces of sisal rope. It's about 5-5.5 feet tall, and I found a little drilled hole in the brick wall right next to where the beans had been living, so I found a spare screw from my desk and mounted the net on the wall and positioned the beans underneath. Within an hour they had wrapped themselves around it! It's so fucking crazy how fast those things move, seriously, it's almost creepy. Because of that, I'm actually interested in growing bamboo sometime. Bamboo is the fastest growing plant in the world. There's just something so crazy to me about seeing something that you normally think of as some inanimate object... and then you come back an hour later and it completely moved itself. That kinda stuff absolutely intrigues me. So.. the beans have a home now! Hopefully it's tall enough... I was reading that they can grow 7-10 feet... and this is only like... 5-6 feet... But there's nowhere higher I can hang that thing so... that's the best I can do. Worse comes to worse... I can hook the net on a big stick and prop the stick against the wall? I guess? I guess we'll just have to see.

In my research this morning, I came across the idea of growing plants upside down. I was thinking... man, if I could just get these beans to be cool with growing down instead of growing up, I could just have them vining from my loft bedroom upstairs and hanging down. That might get messy when it comes time to harvest the beans but... I mean... wouldn't that be easier? And... apparently upside-down gardening is a thing. And I actually could do that. I could even grow tomatoes and strawberries that way. Which would be so cool. I'm sure there are some drawbacks so I'll look into that, but the idea is really fascinating.

After that, remembered I was planning on growing basil in my terracotta pot. But that needed to be sealed. And I was planning on sealing that in the same sealer as the beads I had dyed with ink - tung oil. I've had this bottle of tung oil for over... 6 years? Still hadn't opened it. I was planning to re-finish the scuffed and damaged coffee table that I inherited from my family, that I grew up with. The top had a bunch of water marks and shit, which had the wood sealer peeling off. So... back when I first moved in with my ex, I planned to sand off the sealer and reseal the whole thing with a natural sealant. And tung oil was the one I chose. I never got to the point of ever using the sealer. I just sanded half of it... and then the fights and shit got in the way and I never came back to it.

So, today, I started doing coats of tung oil on the terracotta pot and the red set of beads. It's going well so far. I had been warned of the smell previously, but it's really not that bad at all. It's a weird nutty kinda smell. It's not bad, just new. From what I've been reading, they need about 6 coats, spread apart 6 hours each, fine-grit sanding in between if I want a really nice finish. I've done two coats so far today. So... 3 days total? Once I see what the final finish looks like, I'm most likely going to finally do the coffee table. I just want to test it first. I have plenty of wooden beads and the terracotta pot and saucer was like... maybe $4 total? This coffee table display case is one-of-a-kind, it's the one I grew up with and I think it's older than I am. I just wanna play it safe.

I did yoga, which was again very nice, a good hip and back one, and I was able to open my hips and back a bit more than normal today. Then a deceptively intense upper body workout that I thought was going to be easy. Then I hopped right on stream and streamed until... right before this journal entry. 5.5 hour stream. And the only chat? Some dude who came in and typed so fast and thoughtlessly that he had his right hand shifted over one key, kuje tgus (like this). And then corrected himself to ask me what "app" I was using to make the custom visualizer I was creating. I told him in depth and welcomed him to the stream and... didn't hear anything more out of him. People are really rude nowadays. I'm not fucking google, I'm a person, you can say "hi" and "bye", it won't kill you.

So yeah, I spent like 5 hours working on a visualizer and it came out pretty damn cool. And I got a ton done today, and I feel really good about that. I even spent a good 20 minutes taking my shower drain apart, cleaning it and trying to plunge the drain, just to make sure it's clear. I went for chemical stuff yesterday, which... isn't always the best answer... so I'm trying to get in the habit of more traditional clog clearing methods first, before resorting to chemicals. And I did all this because I showered and had water pooling in the bathtub the day after I did Drano... so... yeah. I gotta do something. If it's not better after this, I'm calling my landlord.

So yeah, that's about that. Gonna move on to tarot before it gets any later.

Past - Five of Wands, inverted (Competition, disagreement, strife, and the accompanying need to step up to the challenge, prove yourself and see it through.) Present - Ace of Swords (Intellect, apply logic and reason, Clarity and focus of mind.) Future - Seven of Cups, inverted (Wishful thinking, fantasy.  Letting imagination run wild, disregarding key facts.)

The start of this one is inverted Five of Wands. Five of Wands represents challenge and competition, and the bravery to step up and face that. In this context, I would see inversion at first glance being a difficulty to stand up against competition who is challenging me.

This is connected to Ace of Swords. Aces are beginnings, origins. And Swords are thought, matters of intellect. So... this would be like a catalyst? An origin idea? A starting idea from which a tree of thought grows?

This is connected to inverted Seven of Cups. Seven of Cups is... having your head in the clouds. Daydreaming, being disconnected from the present. And that's Cups, so... emotionally distant? But not in a Four of Cups kinda way. Maybe just... distracted? I don't know this card well.

Okay, I was a bit off on two of them, but not by much. So... inverted Five of Wands in the Past position makes sense. Difficulty stepping up to the challenge of conflict. This resulted in... more clarity, more focus. Because if I hadn't "failed" there, I wouldn't have thought to reassess the way I'm handing those situations... and I've learned a considerable amount about myself and relationships in general just from having been in those conflicts and not engaged well. I'm definitely more focused on logic and material facts in moments like that now, which helps keep the emotions in balance. This is connected to inverted Seven of Cups - being lost in fantasy. Which is kinda daydreaming, so I wasn't far off. A possibility of this is... I can tip the scale in the other direction and get too lost in logic and rationality that I disconnect from fantasy? That's a possibility. Or... here's a possibility I haven't really considered, a different way of reading the inversion... the clarity I have received is showing me that the inverted cards here... represent the problems the other people I'm thinking of are struggling with. Them competing with me... and being lost in emotion-fueled fantasies. Hmm... food for thought.

Let's check the placeholder card and see if that helps clear anything up. The Hermit, inverted. So... the placeholder card has, in the past, served as sort of a... common thread in the narrative. Like... a reference point. So... I would see dysfunction with The Hermit being... the bad sides of isolation. When isolation goes wrong. That's like.. the theme. So the source of this was... competition, conflict, all that going bad. Yep. And currently my struggle with isolation is... staying clear and rational when it comes to social anxiety and agoraphobia. Yep. And in the future, a possible outcome is... possibly getting stuck in fantasy, disregarding certain facts? Or encountering others that are doing this?

Yeah, I'm having trouble reading this, but mostly because I'm exhausted. I gotta get to bed. Points for trying though!

[lazar-codes]

24/05/2023 || Day 23

I took a few days off...mostly because the day after I posted my last piece I got sick and just chilled on the sofa the whole day (read and finished Cloud Cuckoo Land, and that definitely made me tear up...it was good). And then these past 2 days I had work and decided to actually relax when I got home.

But I'm back now! I didn't do any studying because I was busy today, but I added something to my Wordle project; on input, each little square gives a small animation, so that's what I did! Already (kinda) knowing how animations work in CSS made this a really easy task. The thing to remember is that when you need to "reset" the animation so it can play again, you kinda have to fiddle with it. For example, without "resetting" the animation, it'll do that little pulse, and that's it. If you hit the backspace key to go to the previous field, the animation will not occur again. So, you have to set that element's animation to "none", but you can't do that immediately; you either have to set a timeout function/event to reset it, or...I just shoved that line of code in a function I have that changes the focus of the element to the previous one when you hit backspace...and problem solved. Now you can go back to a field as many times as you'd like and the animation will still play when you give an input. And here's a gif for show. (Also, I changed the colours of the input fields to look more like the original Wordle).

So that's all I did today! Not gonna do anything more, since I've got 50 pages left of another book and I want to finish that. Tomorrow I think I'll tackle 1 more logic-related task for this project, and then that should finish up the logic portion.

[bishopclimate]

A Message From The Angel Of The Lord … Only At This Point Will Things Change! Click Now

Dear Child of God, It is half past midnight, London time.  I’ve just come from ministering and the anointing of God is still so fresh. In today’s service, there was a powerful testimony from one man who received prayer during Day 2 of the Feast of Unleavened Bread and God delivered him from an evil spirit that has been riding on his body for many years. Today, he came back full of joy and happiness to testify that for the first time in many years, he slept a good night sleep. And that every prophecy that I gave him yesterday was true. As I laid my hands on him and prayed for him, the power of God instantly delivered him from this evil beast that has been riding on his body, making him sick, tired, frustrated and broke.  Right now I feel in my spirit that I need to pray for you. The angel of the Lord has just revealed to me that something must become different in your life. There is no way you can keep going on in the same way. Actually right now, as I speak to you, am travelling in the spirit. And ahead of us, I saw an angel holding a sign saying that there must be a change.  I feel in my spirit there are many areas in your life that will need a change. Are you ready to obey God if I tell you where the change is needed? If that is so, at the end of this prophecy, at the end of this mail, I will give you clear instructions that you should follow and finalise in the next four hours.  I will make a distinction between my people and your people. This sign will occur tomorrow.’” (Exodus 8:23) Just like the children of Israel, I saw a date and a time in the spirit. And it was written, “turning point”. Actually, as I speak to you now it is already happening. Tomorrow God is about to put a distinction between you and your enemies; between you and your family between you and your neighbours; between you and your competitors; between you and everyone else.  Actually as I speak to you right now, the anointing of God is going to manifest itself in such a way that it will create a new problem in your life.  I saw in my spirit somebody has been laughing at you and undermining you. Actually this person, don’t consider it to be anything, despite of every gift that you have.  I also saw some evil forces that have been used to water down every opportunity and every favour that comes on your way.  Because of what God is about to do in your life, these people are not going to be happy at all. The Lord has told me, because of what is about to happen, they will try harder to frustrate you, to confuse you, to attack you. But as you follow the instruction I will give you, the Lord says that in your camp, in your finances, in your family, in your investments, in your future, THERE SHALL BE SAFETY. The angel of the Lord has told me that you must prepare, that God is about to put and pour the anointing of distinction in your life like never before. This anointing is going to bring the difference between you and that enemy. Between you and all the trouble maker. Between you and all people that have been fighting you, frustrating you, this anointing is so strong that it is going to give you an advantage above everybody else. Are you ready to walk into this anointing? If you are ready, I am ready. Let’s come in agreement. So if you are ready, I need you to write five key areas where you want God to pour this anointing in your life.  I need you to prepare a special offering according to Ephesians 3:20 of £32 that God is going to do exceedingly and abundantly above whatsoever you ask. Child of God, I need you to move quickly, I feel in my spirit that you can even sow a double portion of £64.  But the most important thing, give whatsoever you can afford now, and watch God bless you beyond measure.  As soon as I receive your prayer request plus your special offering, I will print them out, spread them before God, put them on the altar until the sunset. And watch God resurrect all your favours. Watch God resurrect all your breakthroughs.  Actually after this anointing, you will walk high and mighty in the land. Act now, be quick, because I have been receiving a lot of prayer requests but I want yours to be among the numbers. Because you are going to the top.    CLICK HERE TO  SUBMIT YOUR PRAYER AGREEMENT FORM     Remember To Join Me Daily at 7PM UK Time!   CALL US 24/7 +44 207 738 3668 (UK) +1 347 708 1449 (USA)   13 POWERFUL DECLARATIONS TO ACTIVATE THE ANOINTING OF DIVINE DISTINCTION OVER YOUR LIFE  Scripture Genesis Exodus 12:8-11 & Exodus 8:23 (Remember you can always edit/fill in certain prayer points to apply to your personal life) - Jehovah God,  let there be a distinction in my life in the name of Jesus. - Jehovah God, let there be a distinction in my career/business in the name Jesus. - Jehovah God, let there be a distinction in my finances in the name of Jesus. - Jehovah God, let there be a distinction in my children’s lives in the name Jesus. - Jehovah God, let there be a distinction in my academic in the name of Jesus. - Jehovah God, let there be a distinction in my spiritual calling in the name of Jesus. - I believe I receive divine distinction in my health in the name of Jesus. - I believe I receive divine distinction in my working place in the name of Jesus. - I believe I receive divine distinction in my serving in the name of Jesus. - I believe I receive divine distinction in my relationship/marriage in the name of Jesus. - I believe I receive divine distinction over my property investments in the name of Jesus. - I bel I believe I receive divine distinction over my destiny in the name of Jesus. - I believe I receive divine distinction over my Church in the name of Jesus.   As promised here are the special instructions you need to observe until the evening of April 12. You are to remove all leaven from your house and you are to eat unleavened bread daily for 8 days (Passover & The Feast Of Unleavened Bread). CLEANING OUT THE LEAVEN ‘Seven days you shall eat unleavened bread, but on the first day you shall remove(cause to cease) leaven from your houses; for whoever eats anything leavened from the first day until the seventh day, that person shall be cut off from Israel.  ‘On the first day you shall have a holy assembly, and another holy assembly on the seventh day; no work at all shall be done on them, except what must be eaten by every person, that alone may be prepared by you. 17 ‘You shall also observe the Feast of Unleavened Bread, for on this very day I brought your hosts out of the land of Egypt; therefore you shall observe this day throughout your generations as a permanent ordinance. ‘In the first month, on the fourteenth day of the month at evening, you shall eat unleavened bread, until the twenty-first day of the month at evening. 19 ‘Seven days there shall be no leaven found in your houses; for whoever eats what is leavened, that person shall be cut off from the congregation of Israel, whether he is an alien or a native of the land. ‘You shall not eat anything leavened; in all your dwellings you shall eat unleavened bread.’ ” (Exodus 12:15–20) So what do we need to rid our homes of? We must clean out everything that can cause dough to rise, or anything that contains such an ingredient. That would include: yeast, baking powder, sodium bicarbonate (Baking soda), and most baked goods; bread, cereal, cookies, biscuits, cakes, doughnuts and the like. Many products contain yeast extract; those must also go. If you are unsure, just check the list of ingredients on the product. PLEASE NOTE: The following are all examples of leaven and need to be removed from your house. Yeast Yeast Extract Barley Malt Extract (most cereals have this in it, rice krispies is one of the few that is okay to eat) Baking Power Baking Soda Raising Agent (If it mentions this then you need to remove it) And don’t just put them aside in a cupboard or storage until after the seven days. You must remove them completely from your house (remove them from your house, take them to the garbage dump, or you can also donate/give them to an unbeliever) For God said we are to remove all leaven from our homes (Ex 12 :15), no leaven is to be found in our dwellings (Ex 12:20) or within our borders (Ex 13 :7) Here are Examples of Unleavened Bread that you can eat during the next 8 days  Matzo – Jewish flat bread Tortilla – Mesoamerican/Mexican flat bread Roti/Chapati/Paratha (Please note: Naan contains yeast so it is not allowed) Kitcha or Qitta - Ethiopian type of flat bread used mainly in the traditional fit-fit or chechebsa dish. Tortilla de rescoldo - Chilean unleavened bread made of wheat flour, traditionally baked in the coals of a campfire. Bannock - Unleavened bread originating in the British isles.   Remember you can give with your card through the phone it’s quicker and safer; the prayer warriors can assist you to write down your prayer request. Or you can ask them to write the prayer of agreement form on your behalf; just call any of the numbers on the Prayer Agreement Form.  You can also bring it and put it in my hand for the sake of a special anointing. I would love to pray with you personally and release the power of God in your life. If you would like to see me personally please call our office appointment. But if you need a quick prayer then just pop in anytime, we are here to serve you. Every Sunday Morning at 9am - No Appointment needed. You can also sow straight into the Ministries account through online banking or by visiting your nearest LLOYDS BANK   ACCOUNT NAME: Bishop Climate Ministries BANK : LLOYDS BANK  SORT CODE: 30-91-91  ACCOUNT: 32472768 IBAN: GB24LOYD30919132472768 BIC: LOYDGB21456   OR YOU CAN SEND THROUGH MONEY GRAM TO: Please note if you are sending your special Offering via Money Gram or Western Union the name has been changed to Pauline Waweru  93 Camberwell Station Road, London, SE5 9JJ, UK   (This is my office manager and the pastor in charge of treasury dept. Due to my schedule; she will collect your donation on my behalf)   Connect With Me Live  www.bishopclimate.tv   REMEMBER THAT OUR PRAYER WARRIORS AND I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.    Yours In Prophecy  Prophet Climate Read the full article

[hollenka99]

Finally got around to watching Tick, Tick... Boom! tonight and 30/90? Nah man, it's all about 23/22 up in here.

[saezurufeels]

When things get hard

I find it really interesting that Doumeki tried so hard to hide his desire and arousal for Yashiro, thinking that if Y found out, he would kick Doumeki out of his life. Initially, and for a long time, I thought that was such a silly belief. Why would Yashiro care if Doumeki got hard, as long as he didn't admit his feelings? Yashiro likes sex, right?

But the first thing that struck me in those panels following Y's discovery of Doumeki's erection was the fact that YK either chose not to reveal Yashiro's expression, or if she did, to portray him with a shocked expression, and something that I interpret as resignation. Whatever is going through Yashiro's head, it definitely does not look like joy or excitement. I put together a collage of Yashiro's portrayals in that scene to show exactly what I mean:

So even before Doumeki admitted his feelings in chapter 23, Yashiro's reaction to D's cured impotence was, you could say, uncharacteristic of him. At the very least, D getting his erection back shouldn't have been a surprise to Yashiro. The two of them had been getting frisky in the days leading up to this point in Doumeki's bedroom, and whether Yashiro wants to admit it or not, Doumeki was actively participating in those frisk sessions.

As we know, right after this discovery, Doumeki refused Yashiro's request to have sex, leading to the shower-confession scene. Now, a lot of things happened in the shower, but the specific aspect I want to discuss is the meaning behind this exchange:

D: Am I something to be that afraid of?

Y: No, it's not you. It's me that...

D: If losing me scares you that much, then why are you so afraid of being with me right now?

Y: [read pic below]

It's easy to forget this dialogue in the storm of everything that came before and after it, but to me this suggests that there is a deeper meaning behind why Yashiro was disappointed that Doumeki got hard.

I started to think back to all of the instances Yashiro expressed his attachment to Doumeki's impotence. In the very first chapter he asks Doumeki if he can suck his dick, and when Doumeki was about to remind him that he can't get hard, Yashiro cuts him off and says, "it's okay. It's good that you don't get hard." So then as time went on, Yashiro continued to suck on Doumeki's "limp" dick, and even pleasured himself while doing so. In fact, I think this habit became a replacement for sex for Yashiro.

I started looking at this early scene in chapter 2 differently, too:

Initially it seemed like having Doumeki watch was just a kinky thing Y liked to do. But Yashiro isn't even looking up at Doumeki's face to see his reaction. Instead, he's eye-level with Doumeki's crotch. It seems like D&Y are perfectly positioned for Yashiro to observe whether Doumeki will get hard. When the sex is over, and despite being exhausted, Yashiro looks straight ahead as if to confirm something. Then contently, he simply tells Doumeki, "I can't go out anymore today, so go help Nanahara:"

Then of course, there is Yashiro's internal monologue in chapter 23. Like with the shower scene that came after it, a lot of things happen here. Yashiro realizes he's angry, but doesn't understand why. In his head he begins running through all the possibilities.

There's a lot that can be said about Yashiro's emotional confusion in that scene, but since I'm focusing on Doumeki's impotence, I collected the relevant pieces of thought and put them in order-- actually, they occur in this exact order, but I left out one panel where Yashiro ruminates other possibilities for his anger. Anyways, you can read this from left to right, top to bottom:

The most important takeaway from this sequence of thoughts is Yashiro's question of whether his anger comes from being "the one turning [Doumeki] on." Although Y immediately tries to deny it to himself, by affirming that he loves having sex with men, he still can't ignore that that thought has been on his mind.

Overall, there is a suggestion that Yashiro finds comfort in the fact that he doesn't turn Doumeki on, but the question is why?

Yashiro thinks of himself as perverted, masochistic, and twisted because he likes to have rough sex with anyone that's willing to do it-- and most people in his environment are. But Doumeki didn't show that kind of interest in the beginning. For Yashiro that must have felt like a breath of fresh air. In fact, Yashiro describes D's impotence as a relief in chapter 22:

Finally someone that doesn't see Yashiro as something to use and abuse. A small confirmation that Yashiro isn't the cause of his own misery, for being sexually attractive, or for being promiscuous and flirtatious. Here is a man, whom Yashiro tried to arouse many times, in many different ways (see above lol), and yet, Doumeki still didn't get hard. Maybe it wasn't Yashiro's essence that caused people to abuse him; maybe he isn't as twisted as he thought he was. No wonder he felt relieved. His self-perception must have improved dramatically while Doumeki was impotent.

When Doumeki did get hard, Yashiro got upset that he took away the comfort Y felt with him. Yashiro was left with the confirmation that he is to blame for D's erection, and that he is twisted, after all.

When Doumeki asked Yashiro why he refuses to be with him if he's afraid of losing him, Yashiro answers, "it's all because you got hard." In other words, Yashiro believes he will lose Doumeki when D realizes how corrupted Yashiro is.

Of course I can't help but feel that this fear of opening up to Doumeki, and showing his true self is related to Yashiro's fear of loneliness. After all, not only did Kageyama "leave" him, but so did his mother and step father. Everyone eventually leaves; and why else, if not for his personal flaws, his perverseness? Or so that's how Yashiro interprets it in his mind. And why wouldn't he? He's only human.

It's as Nanahara said, Yashiro's perception of sex has been twisted because of his abuse. Yashiro doesn't see sex as an act of mutual love and respect. Sex is a mechanical process of control and possession; it's a means to an end-- financial, or political. It can't exist for anything but that for Yashiro, and even at the suggestion otherwise, things come shattering down in his world.

I just wanna end this by saying that ofc I think things could take a different turn by the end of the story, cause lucky for you bitches I'm not the one writing it lol. But I thought it was worth exploring this topic 😊

[melodramas]

i’ve been holding this in for a very long time but i finally feel that i can share my experiences with tori, @lizzo. though this is just one interaction that i had with her that sent me over the edge, tori (a 24 year old white woman) has a history of harassing both people of color and minors (or people who are both, like me). when confronted about her disgusting actions, she acts like a typical white woman: being angry and defensive at first and then making herself out to be the victim time and time again. 

solely for context purposes, this post also brings up alana, @seegoldendaylight, a 34 year old woman who runs a sideblog for the film call be my your name, a film with blatant and graphic pedophilia. when i confronted her about this (completely civilly), she also made herself the victim and claimed that she was being bullied by someone who was half her age at the time. i don’t have the screenshots for the conversation as of right now, but when i did discuss this with her, i remained civil throughout; until she began accusing me of baseless bullying. 

the incident covered in the screenshots below happened on november 2, 2020 (a day before the elections in the usa). 

it’s important to note that this is not an isolated incident. i know for a fact that tori has harassed other minors and people of color in the time between november 2 and today, but it is not my place to share what she has done to them unless and until they feel safe doing so.

the post continues under the cut because it got quite long. please share this and block tori to reduce this racist woman’s platform on this website. 

at the time this occurred, i was 16 and tori was 23. trigger warnings for racism, lgbtqphobia, and pedophilia mentions.

for context, tori was discussing how important she felt it was to cut off conservative friends and family completely because they “didn’t care about lgbtq+ people and Black people.” she brought up her own experiences and how she, personally, was able to cut off conservative people in her own life and asserted that anyone who wasn’t able to do so was a terrible person. 

as seen in the last screenshot, her main point was that even if it was unsafe for someone to disagree with conservatives, they needed to do so.

tori then elaborated and went on a rant about her own situation and how she, personally, was able to successfully get out of a homophobic area and cut off these conservative people, saying (presumably to the other people in the conversation) that she was “tired and angry and somebody should be.” 

at this point, i entered the conversation and (as a moderator) tried to defuse it by speaking civilly with tori and trying my best to explain how tori’s perspective was often unfeasable, especially for people of color and minors. rose (notably a non-usamerican white adult) also agreed with me for the most part.

when i brought up the opression faced by lgbtq+ people in other countries, tori mocked me (and rose) for bringing up these other nations. as soon as we pointed out her aggression, tori made herself the victim by claiming that we were undermining her.

here, the conversation shifted. realizing that there was no way she could spin this in her own favor, tori switched gears, bringing up a conversation between me and her friend alana, @seegoldendaylight. as mentioned above, alana is a pedophilia apologist who is an avid fan of the film call me by your name and believes that all criticism of the film is a personal attack on her. 

tori mentions the old discussion once again, claiming that i undermined her experiences by accurately stating that it’s impossible for some people to cut off conservatives. she also asserts that cmbyn is a film without any pedophilia, all while knowing that it features a graphic, sexually explicit mlm relationship between a 17 year old boy and a 24 year old man. 

she doesn’t let go of the idea that “things are different in italy” to justify her baseless argument. she claims that i, a minor of color, harassed her friend when i civilly approached alana about the issues with the film.

she gaslights me, saying that i’m trying to manipulate her by telling her that pedophilia is bad. she makes another baseless claim when she says that i am only ever sporadically active “whenever i have a point to make.”

she brings up the baseless bullying claims at the same time that she is actively harassing me for expressing my discomfort and disgust towards pedophilia as an lgbtq+ minor of color and ceaselessly asserts that she is in the right.

as soon as other members enter the conversation, tori makes herself the victim again, calling me the bully. she shifts all blame off herself by refusing to acknowledge her aggression by saying that she was “apparently” rude when multiple members in the server were uncomfortable with her behavior.

she brings up alana once more, talking about her friend’s panic attacks that she gets because she is scared of being called out for supporting pedophilia in media. when i bring up my own panic attacks that i have experienced over the course of my time on tumblr that have been caused by the fetishization of lgbtq+ minors of color by white adults, she dismisses me entirely. she has the audacity to claim that all i care about is winning this argument when she mentions my supposed “moral high ground” when the actual issue at hand is her blatant racism and aggression towards a minor of color.

the discussion closes with this. tori summarizes what she believes has happened, completely leaving out how aggressive and blatantly racist she has been throughout the conversation.

apparently, she hates conservatives because they constantly undermine lgbtq+ people and people of color but is unable to have a single civil conversation about her own racist behavior.

please do not engage with tori and just block her. once again, her url is @lizzo. she has a long history of harassing minors and people of color while refusing to learn and grow after her disgusting behavior. she consistently acts like the victim when she is rightfully called out and expects people of color to be civil to her when they explain, time and time again, how she has been openly racist to them in the past. 

thank you for reading!

[manonblaqkbeak]

Dating and Goodreads

Back for Day 8-Blind date (how the hell do u guys come up with good title fics i struggle so bad lol). I wasn’t really going anywhere with this one, but when i read all of the others and saw how fun the fics were, i decided to finish this one.

also for Summertime and Fresh Strawberries, I deliberately left it blank but I can’t hold onto the secret bc two people were curious as to what happened, so i’ll let the rest of you know that aelin and rowan decided to keep summer and be a cute little family, bc im a sucker for happy endings lol (unless its angst, it’s safe to assume that all my rowaelin fics have happy endings bc they’ve all ready been thru so much and even in alt fics i need them to be happy lmao)

anyway, on to the next one. hope you enjoy!

1.8k words

cw: none

Aelin was a confident woman, something that she was proud of. But that didn't mean that there weren't times she didn't feel self-conscious or awkward and full of doubt.

Because right now, all those negative feelings were swimming inside of her.

And those feelings were just magnified today, especially since she had gotten fired only a few hours beforehand. It was utterly unexpected, she had never received any prior warnings, and while she was a fighter, Aelin didn't feel like stepping into the ring for this one. Not when her boss was a demon from hell that made life unbearable and she had to physically push herself into entering the work building.

Aelin told herself that it was for the best. She was miserable there and hated working in an office typing up the worlds most boring reports and working in a space that was entirely too drab.

But she wasn't looking forward to job hunting. Aelin was aware that she could ask her friends for favours, but if Aelin did something wrong, she didn't want it reflected back onto whoever helped her.

And she was still a little peeved over the damned argument she had online again with that haughty prick on Goodreads. Aelin wasn't sure why those arguments kept going, but each time she would post a review, White Tailed Hawk would respond, telling her that she read the book wrong and this and that and blah blah blah.

Aelin repaid the favour each time, telling him how he was wrong and he had no reading comprehension skills. And on and on it went until Aelin or whoever the fuck that guy was went back to their own lives.

Depressingly, it was the most fun she had some days.

Shaking her head, Aelin forced herself to think of the now and not of her shitty day. Still she sighed, not quite believing that she had agreed to this blind date. Couldn't believe that she had let Aedion convince her it was a good idea.

Aelin had said no at first, after Aedion had voiced his offer, and her cousin left it at that. But days went past, and he would bring up the topic of Rowan, about the things he had said that day, how his dry sense of humour took some time to get used to but once you figured it out, he was actually pretty funny, how he had finished a project perfectly and this and that.

But it got to her, annoyingly. So the other day when he was helping her out with some housework that was a two person job, Aelin told him to set up this date. Aedion cheered as if it was the best thing he had ever heard, telling her how she and Rowan were the perfect match for each other.

Aelin rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything of the assessment.

She had only agreed because it was getting frustrating being asked at every family event if she was dating someone, when she was going to give her parents grandchildren (that question pissed her off the most, as if Aelin was nothing but a birthing machine and that was all Aelin could contribute to society), and who was going to look after her when she was old if she didn't have children (because apparently carers didn't exist).

Aelin was also lonely—she could entertain herself just fine, but she did like the idea of coming home and talking to someone that could respond. She loved Fleetfoot and her enthusiasm when Aelin came home, but human companionship would be nice.

But Aelin didn't have high-hopes for this date because the universe liked to kick Aelin's ass from time to time, she suspected that they were going to hate each other.

Taking a deep breath, Aelin got out of her car, smoothed down her romper and went inside the restaurant, head held high.

X X X X X X

Rowan couldn't believe that he was about to go on a blind date. That Aedion had convinced him to go out with his younger cousin. He hadn't dated anyone since Lyria and he knew that his dating skills were going to be rusty as hell. He had been with Lyria since they were nineteen, married at 23 and divorced at 31; he had been single for the last two years.

It had been...fine, a little strange, after being with someone for so long to find himself a bachelor. Rowan never thought that he would apart from Lyria, but their relationship had just faded. Long before the divorce, it had been more like a housemate relationship than a marriage. He wasn't surprised when his ex-wife had come home after work with divorce papers. He had only stared at the paperwork for an hour before he signed the forms. Truthfully, Rowan was just glad that he was still on good terms with Lyria, that they could still talk to one another from time to time.

Rowan had almost called her earlier today, to ask how the hell dates went, but felt that it would have been crossing some invisible line, so he didn't call and instead had Googled the questions instead.

They didn't really help.

Rowan drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, telling himself that if things went wrong, then it wasn't the end of the world. That if he had to be a bachelor for the rest of his life, then that was fine. He had plenty of ways of keeping himself busy—he had a good career, a nice house, plenty of books to read and to argue online about them with.

He had one earlier today, actually, with Queen of Wildfire about a new release that Rowan had eagerly read within days of its release. And once again, he ended up with an argument with the woman about the messages and themes within the book.

It was stupid, he knew, to be at his age and to be fighting online with a stranger, but something about this woman just had his fingers flying over the keyboard.

Some days he looked forward to it, as embarrassing as that was to admit. He didn't really want to look into himself to figure out what it all meant.

Eyes drifting to the dashboard, Rowan realised that his date was about to start. Popping a mint into his mouth and smoothing out his clothes, Rowan took a deep breath and left the car and went to his first date in twelve years.

Hopefully, it wouldn't be too bad.

X X X X X X

The date had started out a little awkward, but that wasn't a surprise to Aelin, because what blind date started smoothly?

It picked up after Rowan admitted that he was divorced and that he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do. Aelin appreciated that stark honesty and admitted that she too had no idea what to do.

Since then, the conversation went well, the food was good and Aelin had even swiped a few bites of his dinner because it just looked so much better than hers. Rowan had playfully grumbled underneath his breath, but smiled as he said it.

It was going really well. Maybe the universe had decided to give her a break for the rest of this evening. There was a part of her that maybe wondered if they would have sex, because the man did look fucking fantastic, but at the same time, she didn't want to rush anything in case this actually turned into something more.

“What's the dumbest thing that you've done recently or in the past?” Aelin asked. There was no such thing as small talk between them—Aelin had all ready asked if he believed in aliens and was glad when he said yes, because “it's ridiculous to think that we're alone in this wide universe of ours. It makes sense that there'd be other lifeforms out there.” Which was pretty damned close to Aelin's reasoning as well, so asking him about stupid moments felt like nothing in comparison.

Rowan smirked at the question and took a moment to think before answering. “I engage in online arguments.”

“Really? About what, exactly?”

“It's stupid. But my all my arguments occur on Goodreads of all places. Not Facebook, or YouTube, or Twitter, but Goodreads. It's never anything insulting but just arguments about how wrong some people's in depth reviews are.”

“Fair enough,” Aelin said, “I've been known to do the same thing as you. There's this one user on there, White Tailed Hawk—a stupid name if you ask me—and he just never...” Aelin stopped when she noticed that he stopped eating and was just looking at her weirdly. “Rowan? Are you okay?”

“Do you, by any chance, go under the name of Queen of Wildfire?”

Aelin blinked, and then blinked again, and once the pieces fell into place, she knew right then and there that the universe really hated her. She let out a harsh laugh, the sound echoing throughout the space. Aelin wasn't really sure what to say, because it was true what he said; it had never been insulting, but ending up on a date with the man she had regularly arguments with was just...she had no words, other then, “It really is a stupid name.” She took a sip of her wine, needing to do something other than wanting to bang her head against the table.

“I couldn't think of anything else to write.” And it wasn't also his favourite animal, he had told her that earlier.

They lapsed back into the awkward silence of earlier, both picking at their food.

But Aelin didn't want this night to go to waste. “It'd be stupid to let something as small as this get in the way of whatever this could be,” Aelin said, deciding to be blunt.

Rowan nodded. “It would be. Although I have to be honest, you really have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to Call of the Wild Winds.”

Aelin just about stormed off when she noticed his playful smile, his eyes sparkling bright. Laughing, Aelin threw a bread-roll at his handsome face, and once he caught it and split it in half for them to share, they went back to their earlier conversation.

And when Rowan walked her to her apartment door and kissed her on the cheek goodnight with a promise to text her later, Aelin couldn't help herself by telling him that all his opinions sucked and that he had no idea what he was talking about—all with a big smile on her face as Rowan sputtered as she closed the door on his face.

They spent the rest of the night texting, and all of Aelin's earlier woes faded away. And she looked forward to tomorrow, despite the horror of job hunting. Maybe the universe will finally let things turn around for the better for her.

Aelin went to sleep with a smile on her face, all because of White Tailed Hawk.

And on the other side of the city, Rowan also fell asleep with a smile on his face.

[nutty1005]

Exclusive Visit of 72 Hours! Full Record of “A Dream Like A Dream” Behind the Scenes

Original Article: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/yI4arm9P9nJwE3RMSUW-5Q Original Author: 杨晋亚 Translator’s note: The original author is part of Yuli Studio, this article is published in Yuli Studio’s Weixin Official Account on 23 Apr 2021 as a part of “Behind the Screens” Volume 640.

On 22 Apr, “A Dream Like A Dream” Wuhan Charity show was still in the midst, countless related topics were already on Weibo Hot Search.

This is probably the hottest play on the internet till date.

A big intellectual property that lasted for 21 years, and now with the addition of the hottest celebrity, debuted for the first time as a Charity Show in honor of the heroes of the pandemic last year, “A Dream Like A Dream” contained stories on stage and backstage.

Before the official start of the play, Yuli Studio walked into the backstage of “A Dream Like A Dream”, and entered the dream in advance.

“A Dream Like A Dream”

Celebrity Cast

On 19 Apr noon, 15 minutes before the first full dress rehearsal for “A Dream Like A Dream”, there were not much audiences, they were all in the lotus pond seats.

Overall producer Wang Keran was suddenly notified that there was someone recording secretly, he immediately called the executive producer Da Shan to check, who had already expressed multiple times that audiences were not the take pictures. Wang Keran face turned gloomy, loudly accused Da Shan of incompetency, stood up, “Trusted friends who are currently seated, I hope that everyone would protect the actors, stop filming.”

Afterwards Wang Keran told us, his anger then was actually “for show”, that situation needed him to make a stand, scold Da Shan so as to alert everyone else, “I needed to kill two birds with one stone, control the scene, protect the actors.”

Xu Qing, Xiao Zhan, Zhang Liang, Huang Lu… the addition of many celebrity actors, caused the interest in “A Dream Like A Dream” to increase.

Protecting his actors, was something that Wang Keran always did ever since he built this group.

Yanghua Theatre and Baoli Theatrical Center collaborated and did some massive and intricate work, in order to ensure that protection project was as per usual, “The theaters put in a lot, the meager profits that this project is giving them, can’t completely cover their massive investment.”

Wang Keran also helped to block countless signature and photograph requests for Xiao Zhan, his good friend had came from afar to Wuhan just for a photograph with Xiao Zhan, but Wang Keran did not agree, “I promised a clean creative environment for my actors.”

The “A Dream Like A Dream” group tried their best to give all the actors an equal, harmonious creative environment, and in here, there is no celebrity actor Xiao Zhan, only Patient No. 5 B.

In the backstage of the Wuhan Qintai Theatre, the plaque on the door of Xiao Zhan’s resting room was not labelled “Xiao Zhan”, but “No. 5”.

Director Chen Limei and Zhang Rui said that the group did not treat Xiao Zhan specially as a celebrity; Actress Huang Lu, who portrayed the role Jiang Hong, had the most scenes with Xiao Zhan, she said that everyone was just actors.

Privately, Xiao Zhan would treat Huang Lu fruits, as well as recommend good motives to her, Huang Lu said, working with Xiao Zhan was not much different from working with other partners, the only difference was that there were suddenly a lot of Xiao Zhan fans leaving messages on her Weibo, most of them were messages of encouragement and support.

“A Dream Like A Dream” , Xiao Zhan, Huang Lu

During the very initial rehearsals, the director closed Huang Lu and Xiao Zhan into a small practice room, in order to cultivate tacit understanding.

“When we were rehearsing the French portion of the play, I knew he was from Chongqing, I would suddenly use French translated to Wuhan dialect to talk to him, what d’ya wanna eat what d’ya wanna eat, and then he would suddenly reply me in Chongqing dialect.”

Huang Lu remembered, when Xiao Zhan entered the group, he had already memorized all of his lines, the tacit understanding between them were built up within 3 or 4 days, and on the details of the performance, they would also inspire each other.

For example, the biggest reaction from the audience in the Wuhan show was the scene in the Parisian apartment, actually contained Xiao Zhan’s designs, when they spoke the lines “Monday Wednesday Friday Tuesday Thursday Saturday and Sunday”, Xiao Zhan suggested that the two of them would lean their heads on each other, so as to give a better effect.

When the two of them were conversing in comedic Japanese scene, there were traces of the old version of the play, but there were new creativity as well, “Pikachu” was from the old version, whereas “sleeping” was an idea that Xiao Zhan came up with.

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xiao Zhan, Huang Lu

The duration for “A Dream Like A Dream” was long, the lines voluminous, there was once during rehearsal, one of the actors had a sudden breakage and his lines became more and more scattered, voice lower and lower, that day Director Chen Limei gave him a stern talking to, but in the director’s memory, this problem never occurred to Xiao Zhan.

“Xiao Zhan was very serious, we could all feel that, every night after he went back, he definitely thought through his scenes once more, so that he would not make this kind of mistake.”

Xiao Zhan expressed that his familiarity with the lines had gone to the state that he could say it “whenever”, he was more focused on the “current feeling and the chemistry with his partners.”

Xiao Zhan was very strict with his own expectations, on the 19th after the first full dress rehearsal, there were many audiences who gave his performance good reviews, but he said, “I’m not quite satisfied with today, it wasn’t as good as yesterday.” Although the audiences did not spot any problems with the lines from the scene ”Monday Wednesday Friday Tuesday Thursday Saturday and Sunday”, but after the performance ended, Xiao Zhan himself felt that there were some slight flaws.

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xiao Zhan

The lotus pond seats in “A Dream Like A Dream” to Xiao Zhan was a challenge, it made it easy for him to lose concentration, and once you had lost it, it would be easy for the scene to scatter, he described, “the feeling in concerts is that you need to interact simultaneously, plays to me meant that I need to make myself lonely”, so he needed to make sure he could ignore the audiences.

Wang Keran invited theater critics to view the play for the 19th’s full dress rehearsal, after the upper half ended, they were exclaiming in praise of Xiao Zhan’s acting, Wang Keran also proudly recommended this newly found actor to people around him: “He had a different layer of creativity process, the first day we’ve finished the script, he surprised me onstage the second day, it was green but came with a lot of accurate instincts. He constructed the character to be intricate and abundant, but yet layered, not just emotional scenes, everyone could burst into emotions, but he was intricate, lively and entertaining, he conveyed the soul of the character, his sense of pace was this good.”

“A Dream Like A Dream” Performance Stage

The story of “A Dream Like A Dream” and Xiao Zhan had to begin with the Cao Yu 110 Anniversary Special Event last year.

In 2019, Wang Keran heard of Xiao Zhan’s name, but he quickly forgot about it. “Then I was in Wuxi, there was a large excited crowd of people, said that the hottest actor, Xiao Zhan, was in there.”

Until 2020, a psychiatrist friend told Wang Keran, to take note of this actor Xiao Zhan.

“Before then I was an older person, I’ve always picked actors above 35, but after the psychiatrist finished talking, I started subconsciously noticing this person, and then I found out that this person was really interesting.

How interesting? There were a lot of people attacking him, I thought I’d understand what these attacks were, I found out that these people were a contradiction of the most realistic things and most hypocritical things, this era’s idols were different from 5 years ago, they are now placed on a pedestal as a symbol, as something to be fought over or stepped upon. Via Xiao Zhan I noticed the new pulse in the development of society, understood this movement, art should be something that is most compatible with the times, my personal view on plays is just like this, plays should be the current drama action of this moment, and the emotional relationship of the people here and now.”

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xiao Zhan

The commemoration event for Cao Yu, Wang Keran needed to find a young guest who could have a conversation with Wan Fang, a colleague suggested Xiao Zhan, Wang Keran suddenly realized, this was perfect, “The complexity on Xiao Zhan would fully represent the complexity of plays.”

The first time he met Xiao Zhan, Wang Keran captured the mysterious sense of fate behind his back, but yet he also gave a sense of youthful obtrusiveness, gentle and warm. Wang Keran gave Xiao Zhan a list of books and asked him to go back and read, after which Xiao Zhan finished the books in a few days, even wrote some 10 over questions to Wan Fang, the questions were simple but deep, and moved Wang Keran.

On the Cao Yu Commemoration Event, Wang Keran studied Xiao Zhan, and found that his sense of stage was fantastic, and immediately invited him to join “A Dream Like A Dream”.

To Wang Keran, the similarity between Xiao Zhan and Patient No. 5 was that they were both trapped in the uncertainties of fate.

Xiao Zhan’s portrayal of Patient No. 5 gave Wang Keran a pleasant surprise, as to whether he would continue as Patient No. 5 after this year’s shows, they had not spoken about it, but Wang Keran felt that “A Dream Like A Dream” already gave Xiao Zhan some rewards, “I feel that via this play, he can prove that he is a good actor, I feel that ‘A Dream Like A Dream’ gave him a power.”

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xiao Zhan

Entering the Dream Again

Not only Xiao Zhan was a new addition, the Yanghua version of “A Dream Like A Dream” had almost a brand new cast.

Zhang Liang and Yanghua had collaborated for 2 plays, they were old friends; Huang Lu was recommended by Xu Qing, she was also the only actress that was confirmed without meeting Wang Keran.

Director Zhang Rui was in-charged of arranging actors, but because of the pandemic, the Taiwanese actress who was supposed to play the role of the wife could not arrive, another actress had to take on this role. “A Dream Like A Dream” had a total of 31 actors and actresses, many times one would take on multiple roles, any adjustment of actors would have big ramifications.

Zhang Rui created many versions of the casting chart, “This casting chart was an intricate process, move an actor, we might need to reallocate every scene, whether they could make the scene in time, whether they were suitable, reasonable, I’m so frustrated my hair’s dropping.”

Starting from 2013 when “A Dream Like A Dream” premiered in Mainland China, Director Chen Limei and Zhang Rui grew with this play for 9 years. Chen Lipai previously also handled the role of Stage Executive, Zhang Rui was with the crew everyday, there were the two who were most familiar with “A Dream Like A Dream”.

In their memory, the first rehearsal for 2013 lasted 3+ months, after which if there were not much changes with the actors, repeat rehearsals would last 1 week. Some years they had to change an actor, but yet they did not give sufficient rehearsal time and almost drove the actor insane, “Because the crowd actor had to act as multiple roles, the management of every role was complex, he needed to remember his position, his clothes, and he had to depend on himself, there would be no one backstage to inform him, he had to take care of himself.”

“A Dream Like A Dream”

This year, more than half of the cast was changed, theoretically they needed one and a half months, but to gather 31 actors to rehearse at the same time was not easy, the group merely squeezed out 17 days for practice time.

Practice time started officially from 9 Mar, the group settled in Hebei Tangshan, the time was tight, the mission was heavy.

Lai Shengchuan, who was faraway in Taiwan, gave instructions via video conferencing to the actors, to help answer their questions. Wang Keran, Chen Limei and Zhang Rui handled the task of direction.

Wang Keran mainly handled the mini classes to the new actors to the group, every actor had different classes to attend.

Huang Lu was a movie actress, her method for lines was to say to herself, but “A Dream Like A Dream” was to say them to 1200 audiences, Wang Keran gave her a training method, “He made me rehearse only with Xiao Zhan, each of us would stand at the furthest corner, but we must be able to hear each other’s lines, that is we needed to get used to speaking loudly, I felt that this method was actually quite crucial.”

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xiao Zhan and Huang Lu during practice

When he first entered the group, Zhang Liang was tortured by the role of the Baron for 3 days, he totally could not find the sensation, Wang Keran gave him 3 days of progressive classes. The first class was to control the micro expressions and movements, “For example, the first day I reached Tianxian Court, he requested that when I did gestures, my hands could not be higher than my chest, when we normally spoke my palm would face up, but he said that the Baron could not have a moment where his palm was facing up, his palm would forever be facing down.”

The second class was culture class, discussing European culture, politics and artistic background, so as to understand the motives behind Baron’s actions. “Baron would not let Xianglan draw abstract art, made her start from still life, it actually had political connotations. Classical realism represented calm and control, whereas abstraction and symbolism, etc, developed from the lowest of the masses, represented the destruction to order, Baron hoped from the bottom of his heart that Xianglan would live with him, if you liked something he didn’t like, that represented betrayal to Baron, that’s where the cracks in their relationship started.”

Chen Limei and Zhang Rui understood every detail of “A Dream Like A Dream”, when the actors gave any small questions, they would immediately solve them.

For example, how to swiftly get into positions, what to wear after changing out, both directors could immediately give the correct answer, “We found that this time round that one of the new actors was slow in moving, he would say he could not make it, I would say you definitely could make it, you tell me why you couldn’t make it, I would know where you did wrong. He said it was very dark and he couldn’t find his bag, and he needed to take the gun from 2nd floor to the 1st floor, I said there’s another prop gun downstairs, you don’t have to carry it down, he said he didn’t know. We actually spoke to him after observing him for a few days, because we knew that the 2nd floor was very dark, we definitely had to ensure the safety of our actors first.”

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xu Qing, Xiao Zhan, Zhang Liang, Huang Lu, Lan Nan, etc.

The time left for the directors was not much, rehearsal, costume, positions, etc, all had to be done simultaneously, the volume of “A Dream Like A Dream” was supposed to be large, there were pressures on progress, the experience for the whole group was basically demonic scheduling.

For example, for 22 Apr Charity Show, the schedule for the actors that day was like this —

10:30 to 11:30 Actors and actresses would set of from their hotels to the theater for make up and costume; 12:30 Lunch; 12:30 Microphone testing; 13:10 Warm up; 13:30 Audience entry; 14:00 Start of Charity Show.

After nearly 8 hours of performance, when the actors were having their media session it was already 30 minutes past midnight.

Everyday they worked for around 12 hours, that would be the normal hours for the group for the month, during practice they did not wear their make up and costume, but they still had to set out by 12:00, practice starts 13:00, 17:00 was dinner, 18:00 was practice again, and they end at 22:00.

“This time round we really went for it, we didn’t work this hard previously, because we changed very few people then, we could probably get to the practice at 2pm,” Chen Limei said.

“A Dream Like A Dream”, actors practicing

The tight rehearsal schedule was a challenge physically to the actors, as they practiced day and night everyday, even Huang Lu felt lost once.

“Because we would be acting the same thing everyday, everyday when you went in, it was day, but when you left, it was night, that period of time I really craved a normal life. There was once we were video conferencing with Teacher Lai, I just said that after this play, I suddenly feel that plays, movies weren’t that important, what’s important was our real life, I especially wanted to experience communicating with people, the feeling of being with family, friends and loved ones.

When you filmed dramas, you would still be outside, after you knock off you could be in touch with a more realistic life. When I was in the same play group as Zhang Ruoyun, we practiced in Beijing, everyday we practiced for around 3 hours, we could still meet friends in the afternoon and night, but this play was concentrated practice, when we left it would already be midnight.”

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xu Qing and Huang Lu during practice

Wang Keran could foresee, that actors would experience this type of lethargy, so the arrangement from the very beginning was that after the 17 days of practice, the group would briefly rest for a period of time, until a week before the Wuhan Show, where he would recall them.

This method of working was not easily seen in plays, but to actors, this was a good time to rest and digest.

“The first day we returned, Keran said that was the best time I’ve acted with Xiao Zhan,” Huang Lu said. “Perhaps in-between I had time to digest, get in touch with real life, and had a new understanding.”

In comparison with “A Dream Like A Dream” from 8 years ago, besides the changes in actors, this year’s Yanghua version also shortened the script by around 15 minutes or so, without affecting the foundation of the script.

The adjustment was mainly on the pace of the actors. For example, at the end of the upper half, the housekeeper of the castle would talk about the past of Baron and Gu Xianglan, it used to use a slow and narrative tone, Wang Keran felt that it was not right, “This type of expression seemed to cause Grandpa, who just arrived at Shanghai, to seem unfamiliar with his surroundings, but in fact, Grandpa was very familiar with the castle, he could have returned frequently, like the feeling of a tour guide,” so he adjusted the tone and pace, and made the play richer and more layered.

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xu Qing, Zhang Liang, Lan Nan

Every improvement in detail, came from written notes from everyday.

When rehearsing, both directors would sit in the middle of the lotus pond, with a small table, and a faint table lamp, the actors would be acting while the directors discover problems and mark it in the script, or write furiously on white paper, after the end of a day’s rehearsal, the paper would be littered with over 200 to 300 notes.

After the rehearsal ends, actors would sit together in the lotus pond and listen to the directors reading the notes one by one, every actor would record down their respective portions.

Xiao Zhan’s phone memo was full of everyday’s notes, for example there were around 10 notes for 19 Apr, Xiao Zhan’s note taking method was simple and concise, note down the scene, or a point, with the remarks of watch out for emotion or pace.

In Zhang Liang’s memory, with regards to his notes, there were up to 20 notes a day, but later on as the problems lessened, the notes also reduced.

Director Chen Limei said, some actors would be confused, why were there always 200 to 300 new notes everyday during the note session, did that mean that they had not improved, but actually everyone was getting better on the basis that they were already getting better.

“A Dream Like A Dream”, the directors at the rehearsal

There was a process in practicing, at the start you might not have memorized all the lines, that note would be about lines, when the lines passed, it could have been about wrong position or movement, at the last part when the acting was getting better, I might notice intricate details such as costume, hairstyle, which you needed to notice carefully. Every stage had its own set of problems discovered, only when you walked from Step 1 to Step 2 that I can see the problems of the current step, otherwise my focus would not be that.”

For example, on the last day before the official show, the note for Xiao Zhan became “the singing before the curtain call, stand slightly westwards” this type of small details.

After experiencing the full dress rehearsal of 18, 19 and 20 Apr, the last day of rehearsal became “note rehearsal”, that is to repeatedly rehearse based on the problems in the notes so as to affirm the scenes that could easily cause issues, including the group scene at Tianxian Court, the scenes between Baron and Young Xianglan, etc. For Xiao Zhan and Huang Lu, the scene they rehearsed was the propless scene around the staircase, which needed to take note of the eye contact as they two of them went up and down the stairs, entering by pushing the door.

After the premiere on 22nd ended, the notes continued, so as to have new improvements for the consecutive shows.

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xu Qing, Zhang Liang, etc.

Idealism

After the full dress rehearsal ended on 19 Apr, all of the actors gathered backstage, surrounding the directors, quietly standing, it seemed like a special ceremony.

For the new actors who joined this year, this was their first time witnessing this ceremony, but to the actors who had been with “A Dream Like A Dream” before, this had already became a habit.

Director Chen Limei introduced that this ending ceremony was called “Echo”, it was a habit from Lai Shengchuan — a habit that existed since the first premiere in 2013, “When we finish a show, and gain the applause from our audiences, as well as new empathy for our roles, we must return this feelings out, give them to more people, you can imagine that there was a large crowd of people, we would send out these blessings and share them.”

After “A Dream Like A Dream” came to Mainland China, it had always been well acclaimed, it used to show in Beijing and another specific city. Starting the 9 Cities Tour, especially adding the Wuhan Charity Show, was also a form of “Echo”, to share this play with even more audiences.

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Wuhan Charity Show inside view

2 years ago, in Chongqing Theatre, Wang Keran came up with the idea to get more people to understand theater, experience theater. He started conceptualizing the 9th Anniversary 9 Cities Tour for “A Dream Like A Dream”.

When they heard of this plan, Chen Limei and Zhang Rui thought it was an impossible wish.

“Because ‘A Dream Like A Dream’ was such a large play, we would actually lose money by doing a tour. Such a big group, there’s about 130 people in the group, so many people’s living expenditures, including putting up the set for each location, it takes a week to put it up, only for a few shows.

Until the start of last year, Keran told us that we would still do it, I said we really had to do it? How could we do this in the pandemic? Last year he said that we could definitely do it the next year. This might had to do with his view of life, he would do what he set out to do, just like then when he did his first play, he sold 4 houses.”

In comparison with previous “A Dream Like A Dream”, the investment of this tour was obviously bigger. More touring cities meant that there was more costs with transfer of set, when they rehearsed in Tangshan it was not as good as Beijing, all the actors had to be in Tangshan with their living expenditures.

On the other hand, the seats in the theaters were fixed, there’s a ceiling to the ticket prices, in the face that it was not profitable, Wang Keran included a not-for-sale charity show, “The cost is too high, after completing the charity show, we basically have no profits for this stop,” Wang Keran said.

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xu Qing and Xiao Zhan during rehearsal

Early last year during the pandemic period, Wang Keran already thought of doing a charity show in Wuhan.

Then, he spoke on the phone with the person in-charge of the theater, and asked about the situation in Wuhan, “He had always stuck to Wuhan, and told me that if you really cared about us, then you should bring your best show over, I asked which one did you mean? He said ‘A Dream Like A Dream’. I just felt that if ‘A Dream Like A Dream’ did not come, it would not fully express our special respect for Wuhan, and we would do a charity show, free.”

The actors had the same idealism.

Wang Keran said, theater would definitely be tough, the rehearsal time was long, and while they would perform for 3 days in every stop, they had to allocate 1 week for practice, a popular artist’s time would be calculated in days, but they were willing to allocate their schedule for the play.

Sun Zhongyi, who played roles such as the old housekeeper and professor, was one of the core actors for Yanghua Theatre, he was given the rare opportunity for a lead role in a movie, it was very important to him, but the schedule collided with one of the shows for “A Dream Like A Dream”, and for the play, he gave up this rare opportunity.

“A Dream Like A Dream”, actors rehearsing.

Plays do not earn as much as dramas and movies, no matter how popular the celebrity is, the profits from plays will never match up with the value of the drama, an actor’s rehearsal fee for “A Dream Like A Dream” is 100RMB a day, but all of the actors cooperated seriously.

Huang Lu said, sometimes we would joke that we “missed money making opportunities”, but everyone felt that this was especially fine, it was rare that we had a whole year to focus on doing one thing, the period where we practiced in Tangshan was very much like return to school.

“Everyone basically didn’t come here for money,” Huang Lu said, she viewed “A Dream Like A Dream” as a rare opportunity, it was a training for acting, also like a chance for self improvement.

After the “A Dream Like A Dream” Wuhan Charity Show ended, Huang Lu came to the front lobby for a photo.

Every actor gave their best performance.

Newly added actress for Young Gu Xianglan, Ge Xinyi, worked hard to match her senior; seasoned actress Feng Xianzhen controlled her character with grace and power, all 3 Gu Xianglan had an overall soul; Zhang Liang performed a Baron who was different from Jin Shijie’s version, but it was still accurate and layered; Fu Xing as the representative of the original group, became the foundation, their steady and down-to-earth performance assisted every new actor in building up their steady and accurate system of performance.

After performing for 9 years, Xu Qing had already embodied the blood and soul of Gu Xianglan, she also followed the progress of the group, and participated in all of the practices. Wang Keran expressed his thanks to Xu Qing once in Tangshan, “I say I really thank you for appearing in the practice, because your every practice would always accurately complete every detail, even if it was the most basic practice, you always put your heart to it, never held back, completely constructing the character.”

Xu Qing constantly improved her performance, frequently discussing how to handle every word with Wang Keran, for example after Baron had his car accident, Gu Xianglan would run up hurriedly to the police to say “I saw your incompetence” that kind of transition scenes, she would repeatedly try different expressions, after 9 years of “A Dream Like A Dream”, she is still pondering over it repeatedly, searching for the best method to handle every detail.

“A Dream Like A Dream”, Xu Qing and Zhang Liang during rehearsal.

During the rehearsal in Wuhan, Yuli Studio also witnessed how Xu Qing gave all of her emotions in every rehearsal, especially the important scene where Gu Xianglan took off her Cheongsam and walked through the lotus pond in sleeping garments, everytime Xu Qing finished that performance, her eyes would be filled with tears.

Xu Qing told Wang Keran one sentence later, and hoped that he would share that with the new actors, “Just tell them this point, 1 minute onstage, 9 years of effort offstage.”

Theater people always had this persistence in idealism and passion for the stage, with so much interest in “A Dream Like A Dream” this time round, Wang Keran hoped that with this play, more audiences would understand plays and love plays.

He especially prepared a live broadcast after the charity show ended, so that people beyond that 1200 audiences could see “A Dream Like A Dream”, hear the words from the actors’ hearts, he hoped that the other actors besides Xu Qing and Xiao Zhan would also be noticed.

“I know that the rules of news broadcast, if it wasn’t live broadcast, you would definitely cut away the people who weren’t important, right, but I hoped that everybody could see everyone’s effort. Xu Qing, Xiao Zhan, they were also very happy to have this method, I think that this is also a faith in collaboration equality built upon plays for them.”

“A Dream Like A Dream” would continue to tour 9 cities, Wang Keran hoped that through this play, it would encourage more youths to enter theaters, “I had this thought a long time ago, I just needed to find the right opportunity. For all of our lives we had hoped that plays would have more influence, could have more people entering theaters, if this worked out, then actors and actresses such as Xu Qing, Xiao Zhan, Zhang Liang etc, would have great contribution.”