#it's the horror of toxic female friendships

[forgetful-river]

Happy to report that Jennifer's Body still makes me just as feral as it use to.

[skz317cb97]

Movie Night

Han Jisung x thick female reader

Word count: 9.6k (yowza)

A/N: 18+ only! So, I wanted to write this story after the Chan's room comment on his last vlive. I was already working on a Jisung fic and when this idea hit me I HAD to rework the plot because I needed to write this. I hope people that relate to this story know that their worth is not based on their appearance or weight. Everyone has insecurities, fat, skinny, whatever. The content of your heart is what matters and how you treat others. I hope everyone always remembers that. I hope you enjoy reading and if you do, please leave a comment, like, reblog, shoot me an ask, I love the feedback! As always warnings and smut below the cut!

Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY! Strong language/cursing, Weight and body image issues are a big part of the plot in this fic, if that can be triggering for you, you might skip this one! Dry humping, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected piv sex (please don't do this, use protection), cream pie, overstimulation, cum eating, hella praise and pet names (baby, jagi etc), squirting, Jisung get a little possessive but not in a toxic way, mentioning of coming on breasts, mentioning of oral sex (m receiving) and coming in mouth. I think that's everything but if I ever miss a warning, please let me know and I'll add it immediately.

You and Jisung loved having movie nights together. The other guys enjoyed watching movies too but not the way you and Jisung did. You would over load on snacks and sugar and throw popcorn at each other or the screen when the main character of whatever film you were watching did something predictably stupid. It was forty percent watching the movie, sixty percent critiquing, and one hundred percent fun. You were a two-person episode of MST3K minus the robots. Movie nights with Jisung were the highlight of your week.  

It was probably pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that you had a crush on Jisung. Regardless of how obvious it was you would never admit that. Not to him, not to anyone. You weren’t his type and you knew that. You were heavier, perhaps a bit more than beauty standards would consider ‘aesthetically pleasing’, at least that was the view you had of yourself. You knew that didn’t mean you weren’t pretty but you were bigger and you also had eyes. You saw the kind of girls Jisung went after on the rare occasions you had gone to clubs together and they most definitely did not look like you. You also could see what HE looked like. He was not only beautiful and fit but funny and kind. Guys like him didn’t go for girls like you and it was fine. That was fine.  

You cherished the friendship you had with Jisung and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that no matter how strong the feelings you had for him were. What you didn’t realize was that Jisung was trying to deal with the fact that he had feelings for you too. At first, he didn’t see you as any more than a good friend that also happened to be a girl. You weren’t the type of girl he would typically go for. After being friends with you a couple of years now he had become endeared by you and after your last movie night Jisung had come to realize he was completely bewitched and he had absolutely no idea what to do or say now. He was sure you felt the same but he still was holding onto some reservations about perusing something with you and he wasn’t sure why he felt that way when you both were so clearly perfectly matched.  

You and Jisung loved movie nights together. So, it wasn’t unusual for you to be snuggled up on the couch under a blanket at the dorm with Jisung on a Friday night with three or four movies on standby. What was unusual this particular Friday was the awkward air hanging between the two of you. Everything seemed fine the week before and nothing seemed out of the ordinary that night so far. You had agreed on horror movies and you were well into your second one. The first had actually been pretty scary, making you jump a few times gripping Jisung’s arm and hiding your face, cuddling in closer to him under the shared blanket. The movie you were watching now hadn’t been as bad until it was. One of the main girls was slinking through a dark decrepit house and was suddenly snatched from behind by the crazed killer, practically sending you sailing out of your skin. Jisung tensed up when you buried your face in his shoulder for the umpteenth time that night.  

You hadn’t realized it but every time you pressed your plush body closer to Jisung his posture had stiffened as well as other parts of his body. He was very happy for the blanket or hiding his hard on might not have been so simple. There had been something out of the ordinary that night, for Jisung at least, and that was your choice in attire for movie night. You both always opted for pajamas because comfort duh, but you had come out of the bathroom that night after changing into pajamas Jisung had never seen you in before. A crop top with matching fuzzy shorts. His throat went dry the moment he saw you. It was the most of your skin he’d ever seen. He knew you were self-conscious about your body so you usually kept pretty covered up, even now the crop top wasn’t particularly revealing and the shorts weren’t that short but seeing your silky thighs and the fact that he could tell you weren’t wearing a bra under the crop top had Jisung ready to burst.  

When you noticed his tense body language you realized you were practically laying on top of him. Even though you loved being close to Jisung you backed off of him a little, worried you might be making him uncomfortable with your weight on him like that.  

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to... I mean... I’m sorry if I’m crushing you.” Jisung hated hearing you say that. So you were bigger, it didn’t matter, not to him. Even if he had thought you weren’t his type before because of that. He was an idiot. He knew now no matter what size you were you were he thought you were fucking gorgeous. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. He didn’t want you to move further away. He looked at you, his gaze soft and shook his head. He wrapped his arm around your waist under the blanket and pulled you close again. 

“No, you’re not. It’s fine. You’re fine.” Your face felt like it was on fire and your cheeks turned pink. You bit your lip, an unconscious nervous tick and Jisung’s eyes darted towards them. You looked away unable to keep eye contact. Not when he was pulling you close, not when he was holding you, not when his fingertips were grazing the soft flesh of your waist where your shirt had ridden up a bit, not when he was looking at you like... THAT. 

“y/n?” Jisung’s voice was just above a whisper and even though you heard him call your name clearly you still couldn’t meet his gaze and you pretended to focus on the movie. He hooked his finger under your chin and tilted your head up towards him. Was this really happening?! Jisung slowly started to lean in closer. 

“Ji... I...” He only shook his head and focused on your lips as he closed in. You closed your eyes and you could feel Jisung’s warm breath fan across your face, the warmth of his lips hovering so closely to yours. You held your breath waiting to feel just how soft his lips really were. Finally. 

“Han-ah! Do you know whe-” Changbin came around the corner and stopped short when he saw you and Jisung jumping, catching you just about to kiss. 

“Oh! Shit! Sorry I didn’t mean-” Jisung backed up practically pushing you away when he realized Changbin was also in the room and he started stuttering. 

“You didn’t! I mean there was nothing... we’re watching movies.” You swallowed the lump that had quickly formed in your throat and scooted further away from Jisung which did not go unnoticed by either of the men. Changbin cleared his throat. 

“Yea, okay, well do you know where the protein shaker is? I wanted to hit the gym tonight.” Jisung popped up from the couch quickly. 

“Yea. It’s in the kitchen. I can show you; I need a drink anyway. Y/n? Do you need a drink or anything?” You had started focusing on the movie again trying to ignore the feeling in your chest. You glanced quickly at him and then back at the screen slightly shaking your head no. He bit his lip knowing your feelings were hurt by how he’d reacted when Changbin walked in, when you had just been so close to kissing, and he felt guilty. He didn’t want you to think it was because of you, it really wasn’t. When he came back, he’d explain.  

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You could feel your eyes sting, the familiar burn of tears wanting to surface but you kept your eyes trained on the tv and nodded. Jisung and Changbin went off into the kitchen leaving you in the living room alone, where you took some deep breaths and composed yourself. Maybe it was best Changbin had interrupted. He’d just kept you from making an absolute fool of yourself and ruining your friendship. You went to take a drink of your soda only to find it empty. You kicked yourself for not just telling Jisung yes when he asked if you needed a drink, you pushed yourself up off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Once Changbin and Jisung had gotten to the kitchen Changbin turned to him with an eyebrow quirked and his nose scrunched. 

“OOoookay what was THAT?!” Jisung played stupid like he had no idea what Changbin was talking about. He just wasn’t comfortable with the topic of him and you just yet, not when he wasn’t sure what to do about his feelings. It was awkward for him to admit to Changbin how he felt about you when he hadn’t even told you yet. It would be with any of the guys, he wasn’t completely sure why. 

“What?! What was what?!” You had made it just outside the of the kitchen when you heard Changbin scoff. 

“Y/n!? Come on... I didn’t think you were into girls like... her...” Jisung’s brows furrowed, he didn’t know what to think about what Changbin seemed to be insinuating. 

“Wh-what do you mean?” Changbin rolled his eyes. 

“You know... bigger.” It was just a word and it was trued but the way Changbin said bigger made you feel absolutely disgusting and the tears you had managed to fend off in the living room were fighting back with a vengeance. It had already been awkward and now Jisung felt embarrassed so he lied when Changbin insinuated again that Jisung was into you. 

“No, I mean what do you mean into? I’m not into y/n?” Changbin scoffed again. 

“Oh yea? What was all that I just walked in on then?” Jisung rubbed the back of his neck thinking of an excuse; but why? Why couldn’t he just say that he did like you? Why couldn’t he just say he WAS about to kiss you? What was so terrible about that? Why did he feel so awkward about it? Why did he feel like Changbin would laugh at him or make fun of if he told him? He just wanted to make a quick excuse, whatever would end the conversation. 

“Dude, she’s got a crush on me. She was all over me but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She isn’t really MY type...”Jisung was still and idiot. You thought the inflection Changbin had put on bigger made you feel like garbage, that was until you heard the way Jisung say you weren’t ‘his type’. You knew that but it didn’t make it any easier to hear. You hadn’t even realized the tears were trailing down your cheeks at that point. You didn’t need or want to hear anymore. You quietly grabbed your overnight bag, put on your slides and left. 

Jisung had heard the front door click closed. All the other guys were still out so it could have been any one of them coming in but when a couple of minutes had passed and no one had walked through the dorm Jisung walked back out into the living room to check on you and found it empty, the movie paused and the blanket you had been sharing in a heap on the floor in front of the couch. 

“y/n?” Jisung walked towards the bathroom to check and see if maybe you had gone in there. He knocked but the door creaked open and the bathroom was unoccupied. 

“y/n?” He decided to go back and check his room although it wasn’t likely you were there and Jisung could feel anxiety creeping up on him. He thought back about the look on your face when he’d left you in the living room. He opened the door to his room and as he had suspected, you weren’t in there. He made his way back through the living room on a mission and Changbin tried to stop him. 

“What’s up? What’s going on?” Jisung moved Changbin out of his way and walked towards the foyer, seeing your bag and shoes were gone. 

“FUCK.” Changbin walked up behind Jisung. 

“What? Fuck what?” Jisung spun around and Changbin could see the worry on his face. 

“You... you don’t think she heard us, do you?” Changbin’s face softened when he realized you were what Jisung was worried about. He gave him a sympathetic look and shrugged his shoulders. 

“FUCK!” Jisung slipped on his shoes and jacket and ran out the door hoping you weren’t too far ahead of him. It was the time of year that it was starting to get a bit chilly when the sun was down and tonight was the coldest it had been yet. It wasn’t freezing but definitely too cold for you to be walking off in what you were wearing, not to mention not safe. When Jisung got out to the street he looked up the sidewalk one way and then the other but didn’t see you. He ran in the direction of the closest bus stop and when he rounded the street corner, he saw you under the florescent lights of the bus stop enclosure. You had your big bag by your feet and had your arms wrapped around yourself, hugging your body, clearly trying to keep warm as you waited for the next bus on the line. Jisung ran up towards you. 

“y/n!? Hey! Why’d you take off? It’s fucking freezing out here, take my jacket. Let’s go back inside and finish the movies...” Jisung took his coat off and went to put it around you but you pulled away and tightened your grip on your arms. 

“No, I’m going home. Sorry I was all over you. I know I’m too... heavy... for that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m just... I’m just gonna to go home.” You did your best not to choke on your words and Jisung winced at them knowing you weren’t only upset about how he’d reacted to Changbin but you had heard everything they had said in the kitchen as well. 

“y/n... I... please come back inside you shouldn’t be outside dressed like this.” Of course, he meant he didn’t want you catching cold only wearing shorts and a crop top. You looked away not wanting Jisung to see the fresh tears that were pricking your eyes. 

“I knew I shouldn’t wear stuff like this. I’m only going to bed when I get home so I’ll just deal with the stares on the bus.” He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood and shook his head. 

“I... I didn’t mean it like that y/n... it’s cold out you’re gonna get sick. Please, come back to the dorm.” You finally looked at Jisung and he could see just how hurt you were, your tear rimmed eyes that were already getting puffy and red. That was the final straw, he was a complete asshole. 

“Just... go finish the movies without me Jisung. I’ll... I’ll see you the next movie night.” He sighed in defeat knowing you were definitely not going back to the dorm with him tonight. 

“Look at least take my coat so you don’t catch your death out here and let me wait with you until the bus shows up.” You let Jisung put his coat over your shoulders this time and huddled into the left-over body heat from Jisung having it on. 

“I’d really rather be alone right now Jisung.” You knew you weren‘t going to be able to get a hold of yourself and stop crying if he stayed. He shook his head, sliding a bit closer to you on the bench wanting to be close to you again and hoping some of his body heat might warm you. 

“It’s not safe for you to be out here at night alone.” You slid away putting distance between you again and looked at your feet like they were the most interesting thing in the world and Jisung’s chest felt tight. 

“I’ll text you when I’m home Ji. Just... please...” Your voice started to faulter and Jisung didn’t push any further. 

“Okay. Alright. Please let me know when you’re home safe?” You bit your lip and nodded still looking down as tears welled up in your eyes again. 

“Good night y/n.” Jisung wanted to lean over and hug you, give you a kiss on your forehead, SOMETHING to comfort you. Instead, he just gave a little nod and headed back to the dorm to give you the space you asked for. When Jisung walked back inside Changbin was on his way out to the gym. 

“Hey, everything cool?” Jisung looked distracted but then it registered that Changbin had spoken to him. 

“Oh, uh. I talked to her... she’s going home.” Changbin nodded and headed towards the door but stopped and turned back. 

“Look, Han-ah, there really isn’t anything between you and y/n?” Jisung really didn’t want to talk about it and didn’t want to deal with Changbin messing with him about it anymore but after you hearing him and Changbin in the kitchen and the way you looked at him down on that bus stop he was certain you’d never want anything to do with him, he’d be lucky if you still wanted to be his friend, so he shook his head. 

“No Bin, we’re just friends.” Changbin nodded and cleared his throat. 

“So, it would be okay if say, I wanted to ask her out on a date?” Jisung’s eyes flashed in Changbin’s direction instantly. 

“What?!” Changbin rubbed at the back of his neck and looked a little sheepish. 

“Well yea, I mean she’s really cute man and she’s nice and like I was saying in the kitchen before I know she’s not really YOUR type but you guys are super close so I just wanted to be sure you weren’t interested in her and see if... you know... if you were cool with me asking her out.” Jisung was at a complete loss for words as Changbin waited for a reply. He wondered how many times in one night he could think to himself that he was an idiot. He’d thought Changbin was being judgmental with his line of questioning in the kitchen but he was interested in you. Even if he had been being judgmental why, WHY did it matter?! It fucking didn’t. Because it didn’t change the way you made Jisung’s heart race just thinking about you. Changbin saw the look on Jisung’s face and knew the answer before he even spoke. 

“I... you’re right Changbin she isn’t like the type of girls I’ve dated in the past but...” Changbin wasn’t dumb and wasn’t one to pussy foot around so he just came out with it. 

“Look Jisungie just say you’re into her, it’s alright. I already caught you almost kissing; what's the big deal? She’s into you too. What are you holding back for?” He didn’t know what to say. 

“Sung, is it that maybe you’re a little worried about what people might be thinking if you date a thicker girl?” Jisung looked at Changbin and his eyes said it all. Changbin had hit the nail on the head. Jisung did think you were gorgeous and what other people thought shouldn’t even matter for that reason alone. He didn’t care what some stranger on the street thought of him and you being together but the guys, like Changbin, for some reason, he thought maybe some of the guys would give him a hard time. Of course, none of the guys had given him any reason to think they would tease him about such a thing because none of them would. Jisung had been in his own head too much. Realizing his feelings for you were deeper than friendship had really sent him through a loop. He was worried about the wrong things; he didn’t know how to act around anyone when it came to you and because of that he was epically fucking up. 

“Jisungie...” He focused on Changbin again. 

“Sort your shit out. If you care about her man it doesn’t matter. She deserves better than that Sung, and you know it.” Changbin slapped him on the shoulder, grabbed his gym bag and left to go work out. About twenty minutes after Changbin had left Jisung got a text notification. He sat up quickly in bed and grabbed his phone. 

You laid back in your bed trying to process the whirl of emotions you’d been put through that night. Hope, excitement, disappointment, pain, confusion. It was all too much to process in one night and there was no way you were going to be able to talk about it with Jisung right then, so you cut him off when he tried. Wasn’t he going to kiss you? Had you read that wrong? If he was going to; why would he if he didn’t like you like that? Pity? You hated all the thoughts racing through your head. You just wanted to forget and fall asleep, after a while your mind slowed down and you were finally able to get some rest.  

Jisung had gone all week not hearing from you. He sent a good morning text every day and then a meme or two with an accompanying caption that would say something like ‘laughed and thought of you’ or ‘remember that one time...’ All of his texts went unanswered and he understood why. He’d hurt you in the worst possible way. It didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try to make it right still. Friday morning, he finally got up the nerve to actually call you. He honestly thought you would ignore the call just like you had his texts but after three rings you answered. 

“Hey Jisung; what’s up?” You sounded drained. All the more reason for you to come over, relax and watch movies with him just like you usually would. 

 “Hey! Uh... I hadn’t heard from you at all this week so I just wanted to make sure we were still on for movie night.” You closed your eyes and chewed at your lip as the memories of the last week’s movie night came flooding back. You had been totally swamped at work, you really hadn’t had time to process a thing, which is why you had been ignoring Jisung’s texts. You had just pushed it down and carried on during the work week because you had to. Now here you were and the feelings were racing head on at you again and you didn’t know if you were ready still. 

“Ji... I... I don’t-” Before you could give any excuse as to why it wasn’t a good idea Jisung interjected. 

“I got comedies like you asked for and all the snacks already. You just have to come over. Will you... come over y/n?” You took a deep breath. Maybe if you just went and kept up with your old routine things would just go back to normal. You didn’t have to talk, just watch movies. 

“Yea, I’ll be over Ji. Is seven okay?” His smile was beaming on the other end of the line, hopeful about the fact that you agreed to come, that maybe, he might be able to fix his fuck up still, even if that meant in the end only being your friend. He would be fine with that. It would be more than he felt he deserved from you. 

“Seven is perfect y/n. I’ll see you then. Bye.” You gave a small hum. 

“Bye Ji, see you.” For you the day seemed to fly by and before you knew it, it was time for you to head to the dorm and you didn’t know if you were really ready to face Jisung again yet. For Jisung the day had seemed to drag on forever. He had finally been honest with himself and the guys and told them all how he felt about you. He asked if he could have the dorm for the night while he tried to smooth things over with you. The guys, of course, were all supportive and agreed to be gone for the night. Jisung frantically cleaned the dorm and staged the living room carefully for your movie night. Snacks spread out, blankets to snuggle up in, all typical staples of your movie nights. Not typical was the dim lighting from candles he’d put out around the room and the lavender oil defusing that Felix had set up for him before he left.  

Just a bit after seven Jisung heard your knock at the door. He opened it and greeted you with his wide toothy smile, the one that reached his eyes and made them scrunch up. If you were exhausted from the work week he couldn’t tell, you looked amazing. He couldn’t help but notice your attire this week was back to the usual pair of sweat pants, t-shirt and a big hoodie over that. Jisung’s smile faltered a bit but he caught himself and moved out of the way to invite you in. 

“Hey! Come on in!” You gave Jisung a small smile and walked in towards the living room. Jisung closed the door and followed closely behind.  

“Do you want me to take your bag or hoodie?” You shook your head. 

“Didn’t bring an overnight bag, I can’t stay this week, and I think I’ll keep my hoodie on for now, I’m kind of chilly. Thanks though.” You looked around the living room as you walked in and noticed the few candles Jisung had lit and could smell the fresh scent of lavender. He walked past you and sat down on the couch grabbing the remote and patting the cushions for you to join him. You swallowed the anxiety and tension you were feeling down and walked over to the couch. Jisung had lifted the blanket he’d thrown over himself so you could sit by him and share, like you usually did, but you opted to sit on the far end of the couch with your feet tucked up underneath you and your knees pulled into your hoodie. You missed the disappointed expression on Jisung’s face because you were trying to look anywhere but at him. Just from the time he had opened the door, your heart had wretched every time you did look at him. He set the blanket back down, making like he’d just been adjusting it a bit and started the first movie of the night, unsure if he was going to be able to focus on the screen at all with the elephant in the room with the two of you. 

You both had managed to get through the first movie. You had chuckled a time or two and even though it wasn’t your usual boisterous laugh Jisung was glad to see, somewhat, of a smile on your face. You were still curled up into yourself on the far end of the couch though and you hadn’t eaten anything. Jisung went to put in the next movie. 

“Don’t let me eat all the snacks y/n. Make sure you get some before I inhale it all and really look like a quokka.” Jisung smiled and puffed his already chubby cheeks out further trying to make you laugh but you just smiled at him weakly. 

“I’m okay Jisung I already had dinner and it probably wouldn’t hurt for me to lay off the snacks a bit.” Like an arrow straight through his heart. His idiocy made you feel this way. That there was something wrong with you that needed changed. He had let his own insecurities about your relationship bleed onto you instead of dealing with his own shit. He fucked up he knew it. He should have been trying to talk things out with you instead of ignoring it. He was just joking around acting like nothing had happened, like he didn’t hurt you. He was trying to make you laugh, but it wasn’t time for his antics, this conversation couldn’t be put off any longer when you were saying things like that about yourself. He couldn’t let it continue. 

“Don’t say that! There’s nothing wrong with the way you look!” You looked up at him a bit surprised by his sudden outburst but your eyes faltered and were cast down again just as quickly. 

“You can say that all you want but it doesn’t change the fact that I need to lose weight. No one wants to date the funny fat girl...” Your voice started to quiver a bit and trailed off, the last thing you said was almost inaudible. 

“... least of all you.” It was so quiet Jisung almost didn’t hear it. 

“What?!” You looked up at him like you’d been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. You hadn’t even meant for it to come out at all let alone for him to hear it. Oh well, what did it matter now. Your feelings had already ruined everything anyway. Might as well lay it all out on the table. 

“Well, it’s true...” You whispered. Jisung sat closer to you on the couch and you shrunk down into your hoodie as you tried to make yourself smaller. 

“y/n. No, it’s not.” Who was he to say that to you when he knew you had heard him. Your voice came out with a bit more venom than before. 

“Jisung, I HEARD you and Changbin. The way you both talked about me...” Jisung went to interrupt you but you put your hand up, stopping him. 

“Let me finish!” He nodded and shut his mouth. 

“When I heard the way you two talked about me, the way he described me, how you said you felt about me, I was disgusted with myself.” You choked back tears and Jisung hated himself at that very moment. If he were any other guy and you had told him about this situation happening, he’d find him and kick his own ass. 

“That night I had finally worked up the courage to wear those pajamas. I’d had looked at them for 3 months before getting the nerve up to wear them in front of you. I hoped that maybe you might see me in them and think, ‘wow y/n is actually kind of pretty’ maybe even sexy. Then we were on the couch and I don’t know I guess I was delusional and thought you were going to kiss me, I read it wrong, obviously. I’ve seen the girls you take home from the club Ji, I’m two of them easily so I wasn’t shocked you weren’t into me but then I heard you in the kitchen. When I looked down at what I was wearing... if I hadn’t been crying Ji, I would have laughed for actually letting myself think for even one second that someone like YOU would ever want to be with someone like me. That YOU would ever think I was pretty or sexy for that matter.” You pulled your knees from your hoodie and stood up as the tears started to fall from your eyes.  

“I... I can’t Ji... I... I have to go. This was a mistake.” You went to go for the door but Jisung grabbed your wrist and stopped you.  

“Wait PLEASE!” You paused in place but didn’t turn to face him. You couldn’t. 

“I’m so sorry. Please, I’m sorry I said any of that stupid stuff, especially since I didn’t mean a single word of it! I... I WAS going to kiss you and then Changbin walked in and I got nervous it had nothing to do with you or how you look I swear. Then when Changbin asked about you in the kitchen I thought he was giving me a hard time about how you weren’t my ‘type’ and then I was embarrassed but it turned out he was asking about me and you because HE wanted to ask you out and he wanted to make sure you and I didn’t' have a ‘thing’ going on. He told me when I came back in that night and I told him... I told him that I did have feelings for you, that I cared about you... more than just a friend.” Now you turned and faced Jisung, your eyes were narrowed but still filled with tears and your voice was weak when you spoke. 

“You AND Changbin have feelings for me? Well, you both have a very shitty way of showing you care about me. Be sure to let Changbin know too.” You pulled your wrist from Jisung’s grip and turned to go walk towards the door again. Jisung ran to stand in front of you, blocking the way, panicked that if you walked out, he may never see you again. 

“Wait! Wait, wait! Don’t go! I... I think I'm in love with you y/n...” You stopped, turned and suddenly slapped Jisung in the face. You didn’t want to hurt him but you just snapped. 

“How dare you! How dare you talk about me behind my back the way you did, make me feel like I was desperate and crazy, like I was undesirable, now you tell me you only said those things because you were embarrassed by me! Embarrassed for one of your friends to think you were interested in a fat girl! Then you have the AUDACITY to say you’re in love with me! Fuck you Jisung!” You started beating against his chest with your fists as you sobbed and cussed at him. 

“Fuck you! FUCK YOU!” He grabbed your arms trying to calm you down. When you realized he was stronger and easily holding you back from hitting him further you did the only thing you could do and fell into his chest, hysterically crying. Jisung wrapped his arms around you and you both sank to the floor. He held you and rocked you, softly humming until you were letting out little gasps and hiccups trying to get control of yourself. 

“No one has ever hurt me like you did Jisung.” He flinched at your words. Knowing that hit him harder than the slap in the face. 

“I won’t ever be able to say how sorry I am and sorry’s will never be enough but if you’ll give me a chance, I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again. If you give me a chance y/n I’ll love you like no one ever has before.” Jisung’s hands cupped your face and he looked into your eyes with so much conviction it was impossible not to believe him. 

“Jisung... I...” More tears gathered and fell and Jisung swept them away with his thumbs. 

“Please.” He pleaded with you and you gave him a small nod, then he leaned in and softly kissed your lips. It was so warm, inviting, pulling you in for more but instead you pushed against Jisung’s chest and he pulled back and looked at you. Your eyes flicked between his as you searched for any uncertainty but you only saw love. You gripped his shirt where your hand had been resting on his chest and crashed your lips back into his. The kiss was so heated this time, so needy, you had wanted Jisung for so long and now, now you had him. You straddled his lap but didn’t sit your weight on him as your hands cupped his soft cheeks and you continued to make out. Jisung’s arms wrapped around your midsection pulling you close, your chests pressed together. He wanted you as close to him as possible. He pulled away from the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes closed tightly, out of breath from kissing you. 

“Jagi, I want feel every bit of you, want to make you to feel as beautiful as you are...” Jisung toyed with the hem of your hoodie and t-shirt silently asking permission to remove them. You lifted your arms and allowed him to, although you were extremely nervous to be in only your bra in front of him, even in the dim lighting. Jisung lifted the shirt and hoodie over your head and tossed it aside taking in the expanse of skin in front of him. He wanted to touch you everywhere but instead his hands gripped your hips and eased you down so that your full weight was on his lap and your clothed heat was pressing into his hard on. When you opened your mouth to protest putting your weight on him Jisung silenced you with his lips. He gripped your soft hips tighter, fingers digging in to your plush skin as he helped move you back and forth over his erection, finding a rhythm. You pulled away from the kiss panting as Jisung started to meet your grinding with his own. 

“J-Ji... Ji... I don’t want to hurt you...” He stopped, removing his hands from your hips and holding your face so that you couldn’t help but look him in the eyes. 

“Does it look like you’re hurting me?” You bit your lip and softly shook your head no in his hands. Jisung grabbed one of your wrists guiding your hand to grab his hard on underneath you. His eyes closed and his mouth fell open, letting out a breath when you gently squeezed. 

“Does it feel like you’re hurting me?” You were breathless still as you shook your head again. 

“No Jisungie... it feels... good.” You finally breathed out the word. 

“It does feel good jagi. YOU feel good. God keep riding me please!” His hands grazed a soft trail down your full breasts back to your hips urging you to continue your movements. You wrapped your arms around Jisung’s neck and rocked your hips over him again, this time with more vigor and the broken moan that fell from his mouth made you soak your panties. You gripped his broad shoulders and rotated your hips grinding against him with more confidence the more he moaned and panted. 

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum in my pants if you don’t stop jagiya...” You stopped your movements but cupped Jisung’s soft cheeks and continued your assault on his lips. You sat there lazily making out, tongues sliding in and out of each other's mouths, teeth tugging at lips, hands exploring, caressing, until Jisung was forced to pull away to take a breath. His hands ran up your arms and he dragged his fingertips gently back down causing goose bumps to rise in their wake. You looked into his eyes and him into yours, both of you breathless, trying to read the other’s mind. 

“Jisung?” He pressed his lips together giving you a nod and a small smile as his hands found their way to your hips again. 

“Will you... can we...” You knew you wanted Jisung and even though you were on his lap, in your bra and had been kissing and touching each other for quite a bit at that point, you were still self-conscious and scared to ask him what you wanted. You let out a frustrated huff of air, closing your eyes and Jisung cupped your jaw and ran his thumb along your cheek and you looked at him again. 

“Take a deep breath. Whatever you want, whatever you want to ask, it’s okay.” You closed your eyes and took a deep calming breath like Jisung had told you to. 

“Please take me to bed? I want you Jisung, I need you.” You looked down at where you gripped his shirt tightly as you told him exactly what you had been so scared of saying. Jisung dipped his head down catching your eyes in his again. 

“Jagi...” Jisung’s gaze darkened suddenly and before you could think he had his arms wrapped around you and shifted you both so that he was now slotted between your legs laying over you kissing down your neck reaching for the waist band of your pants.  

“Wish you’d worn those shorts again...” He peppered more kisses across your throat and took the fleshy part of your ear lightly between his teeth. 

“You were so fucking SEXY in them I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.” You pushed against Jisung’s chest stopping him then slowly slid out from under him and stood up. He was confused at first, worried maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned the week before but before he could stress out you pushed your sweats down and stood there in your bra and panties. Jisung stood up quickly and took in every inch of skin you were offering up to him. All of it soft, plush, curvy and so inviting. You beckoned him over to you. 

“Come here, touch me Ji.” He didn’t need to be told twice. He invaded your proximity immediately, his hands running along your smooth skin pulling you closer. 

“Fuck you’re gorgeous, don’t know what to touch and kiss first.” Your skin flushed at Jisung’s words and you felt your core throb for him. Jisung’s lips ghosted over your neck before raking his teeth across your collar bone and pulling the prettiest moan he’d ever heard from you. He grabbed your hips and pulled them forward into his. With only his clothes creating a barrier between you, aside from the thin, lacey, boy shorts you were wearing, you could perfectly feel his hard cock pressed against you. Jisung’s eyes closed and his head tilted back a little, he bit his lip and hummed enjoying the warmth of your soft body against his and then he looked at you with a mischievous smile.  

“Come to bed jagi...” He kissed your neck again before pulling you, leading you towards his room, towards his bed. You could feel your nerves starting to come back once you walked into his bedroom. It was still dimly lit but it was brighter than the living room and you felt a bit more exposed and self-conscious. You pulled your hand away from Jisung and went to cover yourself. Jisung grabbed your hand back and pulled you close wrapping his arms around you and pressing his forehead against yours.  

“No. Please? Don’t? You’re perfect,” He peppered soft kisses over your shoulder trying to comfort you and you let out a soft sigh. Jisung pulled away and pulled his shirt off exposing his broad chest and soft tan skin. You would think him evening the playing field by removing some of his clothes would make you feel less nervous but it only made it worse and you went to cover up again. Your hands were slightly shaking when Jisung pulled you close again, his warm skin pressed against yours and you could feel his breath on your neck as he whispered in your ear. 

“You’re so fucking sexy. Please don’t hide.” He pressed soft kisses down the side of your neck again. You could feel tears pricking your eyes and you were so mad at yourself that you were about to ruin this moment. You wanted to believe what he said but you just didn’t feel sexy. Jisung could feel that you were still tense, he pulled back and saw your tears. 

“y/n... what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?” You shook your head no. You scoffed at yourself and wiped your tears away. 

“No Ji, it’s okay really, I just need a second. I’m feeling...” You looked down at yourself and Jisung knew. 

“Hey, take a second, take ten, it’s alright jagyia.” He rubbed soft circles on your hips with his thumbs and it started to help your heart rate slow down a bit. When you looked at Jisung again his face was so soft and laced with concern. You leaned in and pressed your lips against his, your fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck. It was soft at first but as you felt his skin under your fingertips it became more frenzied. Both of you gripping, squeezing, roaming, moaning into the other’s kiss. You felt a sudden rush of bravery and reached into Jisung’s sweat pants grabbing his dick firmly and stroking it like you had done it to him a hundred times before. It was gentle but not too gentle and the way your thumb brushed that sweet spot under the head of his cock was sinful as you stroked him just fast enough to make him want more.  

“FUCK y/n! Yes, JUST like that.” Jisung lead you towards the bed as you continued to stroke him. When the back of your knees hit the bed you removed your hand from his pants and fell back on it. Your hair spread around your head like an angel and your chest was rising up and down rapidly as you laid there breathless from your desire. Jisung slid his sweats and briefs down at once, his cock springing free and standing firm. It was long and not too thick and curved up. He was gorgeous so it wasn’t surprising that he had a pretty cock too. Feeling it in your hand had been one thing but seeing it now, your mouth watered for him. 

“Jisungie...” You whined for him and he came to kneel between your legs on the bed. His hands traveled up your sides their destination being your breasts which he cupped firmly before grabbing the center of your bra with both hands and ripping it open, your big breasts bouncing free as you gasped in shock. 

“HAN JISUNG, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH A BRA LIKE THAT COSTS!?” Jisung leaned down sucking a nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and teeth until it was perked and hard effectively stopping your complaint. He let go and smirked at you. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’ll buy you a new one jagi.” His lips wrapped around your other nipple and he sucked on it gently as you melted underneath him. Jisung kissed his way down your body until his face hovered right over your clothed core. He gripped your panties and looked up at you. 

“These expensive too?” He said quirking his eyebrow at you. You rolled your eyes at him playfully. 

“YES. And my favorite pair so DON’T rip them.” Jisung pouted and then gently slid your panties over your ass and down your legs.  When his face was lined up with your naked, dripping, cunt you started to feel your heartbeat pick up. Before you had a chance to let your nerves get the best of you again, Jisung spread your lower lips open and licked a broad stripe from your entrance to your clit, sucking the bundle of nerves between his pouty lips and drinking in every bit of you. Your hands gripped Jisung’s hair as he licked, kissed, and sucked on your clit. He was messy but with finesse and between your arousal and his spit and drool you were certain there had to be a puddle forming underneath you. 

“Ji... oh my god! I’m... I’m...” He hummed in satisfaction that he had you unable to form words and the vibrations from his mouth against your pussy sent you reeling into a mind-blowing orgasm. Your thick thighs clamped around Jisung’s head as you thrust your hips up grinding against his tongue and face. Only when your body relaxed back onto the bed and you were a shuddering mess did Jisung stop kitten licking your sensitive clit. He climbed on top of you and started kissing you, first all over your face, then by your ear, down your neck and shoulder. His lips left your skin and he looked at you for a second thinking about how he’d almost fucked everything with you up, about how he could have lost you but now here you were underneath him panting and glowing still trying to recover from your orgasm. When you opened your eyes and looked at Jisung he leaned down and softly kissed your lips as he slowly pushed the tip of his cock inside you. 

“Fuck! So wet, so soft!” The further Jisung sunk into the faster your soft puffs of breath came out and when he bottomed out inside you, you gasped. He looked at you quickly. 

“Are you okay jagi?” You nodded biting your bottom lip overwhelmed by the feeling of him inside you after just coming down from your first orgasm. Jisung rolled his hips testing to see your reaction. Your eyes went wide and you gasped again.  

“Jisungie! Oh, my fucking god! You feel so good inside me! Please don’t stop!” Jisung started giving you steady hip rolls fucking you slow and deep. He thrust his cock deeper into you, his pelvic bone adding pressure to your clit as well. Your body was buzzing with excitement and your fingers and toes felt like they were going numb from the pleasure. The sound of your drenched cunt and Jisung’s hips slapping against your soft thighs egged him on and he started to fuck you faster, pulling out further and pushing back into you harder each time. 

“FUCK jagiya you take my cock so well beautiful. Look at how well we fit together jagi FUCK!” You looked down where Jisung’s dick, coated in your juices, disappeared inside you and clenched at the sight. 

“Fucking perfect just like I said baby, your pussy was made for me, this is mine now.” Jisung spit on two of his fingers and started rubbing your clit quickly pushing you towards your next orgasm that much faster. 

“God YES Ji please... please... please...” Jisung smiled down at you, sweat dripping down his face. 

“Please what gorgeous, what do you want?” You gripped Jisung’s hips, his soft skin warm under your touch. 

“PLEASE FUCK ME HARDER! MAKE ME CUM JI! FILL ME UP JAGIYA!” Jisung lost his mind hearing you say that, call him that. He gripped your hips and started railing you as hard and fast as his body would let him. The sweat from his face and hair dripping down his chest and back now his teeth clamped onto his bottom lip. 

“You’re gonna let me cum in this tight pussy right jagi? You’re gonna take my load and let me mark what’s mine yea?” You moaned out your approval. 

“FUCK yes! Ji fuck fuck! Give me your cum fucking make me yours Jisung... I’m yours!” You came hard around his cock as he continued to drive into you chasing his own climax and prolonging yours. Your body rolled and your hips chased his as you rode out the best orgasm you’d had in your life. 

“FUCKING beautiful! God you’re gorgeous when you cum y/n... FUCK I can feel your pussy quivering on my fucking cock, you feel so good jagi!” You started coming down from the high of your orgasm, body still buzzing like a million bees lived under your skin and you started begging Jisung. 

“Fuck Ji you’re gonna give it to me right? Fuck I want it so bad! Please cum inside me please! It's gonna be a big load yea? Fuck I hope it’s a big load jagiya, need you to fill me up good, need to feel you dripping from my cunt.” Jisung’s head tilted back as his hips stuttered and he unloaded inside you. 

“FUUUUUuuuuuck jagiya FUCK! Fucking take it! You wanted a big load baby there you go! FUCK! Take my cum like a good girl yea?” Jisung stayed buried inside you until his cock started getting soft. When he pulled out a huge trail of cum came dripping out after. Jisung took two fingers and scooped up the mixture of yours and his cum and sucked them clean. 

“Fuck beautiful...” He ran his fingers through the trail of cum still leaking from your hole collecting more of your mingled juices and he brought his fingers to your lips this time. 

“Taste.” You opened your mouth and sucked on his fingers, swirling your tongue around his digits and humming in delight. 

“Good yea jagi? We taste perfect together.” Jisung scooped the remaining cum dripping from you up and pushed it back inside you pumping his fingers slowly in and out. 

“J-Jisung... I... I ca-” 

“One more jagiya, just one more, you can give me one more yea?” Jisung’s fingers picked up speed and he fucked them into you harder, curling them and easily finding your g-spot. 

“FUCK JI! I... I... FUCK JI!” That was exactly what he was looking for, he plunged his fingers deep into you only bringing them out a millimeter or so and pushing them deeper, then leaned down and sucked your cum glazed clit into his mouth, slurping on you as he fucked your hole hard with his fingers, the cum he filled you with coating them and dripping down your asshole, causing you to clench around his fingers that seemed to find that delicious spot inside you with precision. 

“Squirt for me jagiya, fucking cum on me baby.” He whispered against your pussy before diving back in and devouring your cunt like a ravenous animal. Between Jisung’s fingers and mouth the taut string inside you snapped. 

“MMmm FUCK FUCK JI OH FUCK I’M COMING I'M COMING!” You had never squirted before in your life but suddenly you were soaking Jisung and his sheets. His fingers, still deep inside you, gently massaging your g-spot, giving your clit tiny little licks with the tip of his tongue as you finished coming on his face and started twitching and shuddering from the overstimulation. When Jisung removed his fingers and sat up you saw your cum dripping from his chin and glistening on his chest. 

“Oh my god, did I?!” Jisung smirked and leaned over kissing your lips softly before giggling against them. 

“Cum all over me? Yea baby you did and it was sexy as fuck!” You blushed and tried to push him off as he buried his face in the crook of your neck and tickled you with his kisses and love bites. You pushed harder and he finally sat up, he got very quiet and looked down at you softly smiling. The longer Jisung’s eyes roamed your naked body the more uncomfortable you got. Now that you weren’t caught up in the heat of the moment and lost in the pleasure Jisung had been giving you, the little negative voices in your head came back to put you back in your place. You grabbed a throw blanket he had at the foot of his bed and went to cover up feeling far to exposed in the moment. Jisung thought you looked so beautiful; you didn’t need to cover up. He wished he had never said the things he did, that he’d never made an insecurity you already had worse. He had looked at you laying there your full breasts, the soft tummy rolls, the plush love handles just over your hips, your thick ass and thighs, FUCK you were perfect but when you saw him staring at you like that you only felt overwhelmed by your doubts about your body. 

“Why don’t we go take a shower yea? Get cleaned up and go to bed?” Jisung’s suggestion sounded so tempting, a nice hot shower after getting fucked senseless but it also meant standing under florescent bathroom lights where he’d be able to see ever stretch mark, every dimple of cellulite, every flaw. He could see you having an internal battle with yourself over it. 

“Hey...” You looked up at him like you’d been startled from your thoughts. 

“I know whatever is going on in that gorgeous noggin of yours is my fault right now...” You pressed your lips together. 

“Jisung no...” He shook his head and put up his hand stopping you. 

“y/n yes, it is. It might have been something you were self-conscious about already but I only threw fuel on the fire. I PROMISE I will do whatever I can to prove to you that you are a beautiful human being, just the way you are. I PROMISE I’ll always make sure to tell you how absolutely stunning you are and how you are leaps and bounds out of my league and yet for some reason you slum it for me.” He winked at you and you laughed. 

“So... shower?” He suggested again. You smiled and nodded. Jisung stood up and offered his hand to help you off the bed. You headed to the bathroom with Jisung fused to your back kissing whatever his lips could find.��

“You know if we fuck in the shower I could cum all over these and clean you right up.” His hand squeezed your breasts tightly before roaming over your tummy, your hips and ass. You were barely up the hall and Jisung was already trying to slide his fingers through your folds again. When you got to the bathroom door you turned and pecked his lips. 

“That’s true jagiya, or you could cum down my throat and I could just swallow it and have no mess at all.” You licked up his lips to the tip of his nose and went into the bathroom as he stood there speechless for a moment before chasing after you.

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

@ughbehavior @chansynie @jquellen27 @caroline-ds-world

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 4

Joan Watson

How were BBC Sherlock shippers so rancid about a WOMAN who wasnt even in the SAME SHOW?????

Martin Freeman of BBC Sherlock insulted Elementary and specifically Lucy Liu in the press. He straight up called Lucy Liu a "dog" in an interview APPARENTLY as a joke, because calling female actors ugly is hilarious. Benedict Cumberbatch was more measured about it, but he still said he was cynical about Elementary because it would lose the "male friendship" dynamic, which of course Johnlock shippers used against Joan Watson fans. Even the lead BBC Sherlock actors got in on the yaoi victimization of Joan Watson... 😔

she wasn't even in the same SHOW as the yaoi I've been convinced she deserves to win the entire poll. I was a Johnlocker but I did watch the first season of Elementary and it was fine????? It was totally okay????? Especially in hindsight given how hard Sherlock season four flopped. Also Lucy Liu is a queen and deserved zero vitriol for *checks notes* playing a character???? A fucking fictional character???????? Oh my god we were all SO mean to this show and we (or at least I) thought it was like The Good Fight™️, like we were defending BBC Sherlock against copyright infringement and straightwashing and Jonny Lee Miller's bizarre scarf, (it wasn't a good scarf I do stand by that) but then Elementary didn't make Holmes and Watson a couple either???? And also it didn't insult its audience constantly etc etc we've all seen the Hbomberguy Sherlock is Garbage video. This is really long sorry hashtag justice for Joan Watson.

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime.

[ot3]

Trying my luck here since you're the most trusted women in media person I follow: Can you recommend any media (movies, shows, books, comics, podcasts, whatever) that is centered around violence between women? I'm specifically looking for something with

1. A primarily female cast

2. Women committing violence against other women with minimal influence from men

3. Actual graphic physical violence, not just Mean Girls stuff. I want blood

Bonus points if the violence happens because of some female social dynamics, like mother/daughter relationships or toxic high school friendships, not just because the heroes and villains happen to be women.

Yellowjackets left a hole in my heart

honored to be your source for this.

If these are your tastes and you somehow haven't read the locked tomb trilogy, go read that for sure.

Ginger Snaps (2000) is a horror comedy about two sisters trying to deal with one of them becoming a werewolf and their dynamic is the core of the entire movie, it's one of my favorites.

The flower that bloomed nowhere definitely fits the bill, and i would say 'violence that occurs because of female social dynamics' is an area where it shines, but in a slightly different way than what you're looking for. Flower is a murder mystery so there's plenty of straight up killing, but the murders are definitely not the most fucked up and violating things that happened here even if they are the most gory. Flower is pretty much my go to rec for anyone who wants fucked up women

Umineko and Higurashi from the when they cry series would have a lot for you here. Umineko has more women by volume but less proportionally, and the men play larger roles in their lives. The women in umineko are all insanely well written but due to the nature of the story a lot of the way they act is heavily influenced by the patriarchal standards of their society/social class and the needs of the men around them, which is The Point but also may not be what you want. On the other hand girls are a higher proportion of the Higurashi cast and that's a narrative that's much less purposefully informed by the crushing vice of misogyny, and i feel like is slightly more in line with this specific request.

Worm is just about as graphically violent as it's possible to get in writing and although the massive ensemble cast has plenty of men in it the female characters, including the protagonist taylor, are much more interesting overall and they have great dynamics with each other.

that's about it off the top of my head but also this is several million words of stuff right here so im sure at least some of it will appeal to you. happy hunting.

[spiritualclaymore]

💛 ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ | ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ!

This post will include some information about me and a short testimony. Thanks for checking out my blog!

💛 ᴀʀᴛɪsᴛ & ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀ

Howdy! I'm a Christian artist from the southern US who enjoys creating stories & characters that glorify God and share the gospel! 🔥⚔️ ✝️ I like anime and various comic styles. I'm currently working on my own style. I’ve enjoyed creating various OC's of humans, animals, anthro, and hybrid varieties!

sᴏᴄɪᴀʟ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴀ: I can be found just about anywhere and have compiled everything on my carrd. I am also accepting commissions, my carrd will have more information. I may compile and post commission information on tumblr in the future, Lord willing.

carrd

💛 ғᴏʀᴍᴇʀ ʀᴏʟᴇᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ sᴀᴠᴇᴅ ʙʏ ɢʀᴀᴄᴇ

It's surreal to be here after taking a long hiatus around 2021. I'm used to having "missing e", a dozen extensions, and all of my pretty post formatting. It seems tumblr has tidied things up to make formatting easier. Back then, I used to copy/paste blank spaces, pretty symbols and emojis, indent all of my paragraphs, and then use a bunch of key commands to select and make my font size small and neat! Haha! I don't have any problems with people who do that, it was a style choice for writers and roleplayers.

“The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness.” Romans 1:18

jaegerbombed | warpathpanther | blacklightburns | rubmyrosary

(CONTENT WARNING: above blog archives have explicit and/or adult content and are TESTIMONIES of what I used to write, portray, and how i lived my life. the last one is referring to a satanic voodoo cult character and I do not endorse the rosary/catholicism.)

I was part of the tumblr roleplay community and many other rp communities across the internet, including Gaiaonline, jcink, and proboards. I was doing this hobby for about 16 years before I started to take my faith seriously in 2021. To clarify faith, I was never really a believer or follower of Christ until I was BORN AGAIN in January 2023! Hallelujah! Note: I am not saying Christians cannot role play or enjoy writing as a way to develop characters, stories, etc. As long as it's not used to write content that would make you sin and it's not becoming an obsession.

Before that, I hyperfixated on horror genre, supernatural and horror anime, tv series, including video games, movies, stories, and more. I had gender dysphoria, went by 'khan', or 'khanivore'. I internalized a lot of it and would act out by doing drag king stuff and drag cosplay IRL.

I idolized playing hypermasculine male characters in the roleplay communities I was a part of. I saw many friendships made, torn apart, and savagely destroyed due to the toxicity of the community. Without Christ, people unhealthily hyperfixate on their idols and become jealous of other people writing better, portraying a certain character better, seeking all types of 'shipping' relationships that don't go well.

Wrote hundreds of thousands of words portraying s*xual fantasies with males & females. I obsessed over becoming male characters; thinking their thoughts, living their lives, not my own. I became oppressed by demons while playing songs that made me think of these characters, obsessively studied their dialogues and did some crazy forms of method acting. These characters had their own birthdays & astrology signs that I celebrated.

I had deep loneliness & despair, a void within me, & I filled it with video games, p**nography, alcohol, cosplay & role playing. When the convention was over, I felt like my heart was being burned alive & there was nothing to fill that void. I had insomnia from late nights living my double life. I was hateful, rude, condescending, competitive, swore all the time, & angry.

But JESUS set me free! He had been knocking on the door of my heart. I did not seek Him, I wanted to live in my filth, I loved my sin. But HE sought after me & my heart slowly softened. My eyes began to open. I don’t share this testimony to glorify myself; don’t want the wrong attention, nor things my old self would have gloated over. I share this testimony of where I WAS, to show where JESUS SET ME FREE!

Seek Jesus - He isn’t religion, He’s a real person, the son of God, who was sent to die for our sins. Someone who wants a relationship with you. He wants to set you free from pain. He can give you answers & true identity; not the CULTure.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2

[allaboutthedongs]

Cheater | Five | 18+

This is the view you'd kinda have in this chapter

☆ Pairing: Idol!Jaehyun x Female reader x Idol!Mark

☆ Genre: smut, slight angst

☆ Word count: 3.1 K

☆ Warnings: Infidelity, toxic relationship, cursing, dirty talk, shower sex, dom!jaehyun, unprotected sex, oral (m receiving), getting caught cheating twice?, a broken friendship, mentions of throwing up and being sick, pwp, filth as always.

☆ Prompt of the series: What should’ve been just a simple visit to your boyfriend, turned into a night of filthy pleasure with his friend when you both notice that you were alone at the dorm.

☆ A/n: Chapter 5 is finally here!! I'm sooo sorry it took me this long to update this series, but you know, sometimes life is not easy and I really wasn't in the mood to write, but I'm back and I hope you like it as much as I do. I'm still debating myself if giving this story a happy ending or make them suffer. Let me know what would you like best. Please leave feedback, like and reblog.

Also, it's 1:45 am and I need to sleep, so this isn’t proofread.

Previous ☆ Next

↳ index here

Jaehyun went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, at that moment Jungwoo took the opportunity to go to his room to get his pajamas and other things he needed to spend the night in Mark's room, and that's where he found you naked in Jaehyun's bed. He was stunned to see you there, the words stuck in his throat unable to get them out. When Jaehyun returned to his room he found him standing frozen there, looking at you.

"Jungwoo, what are you doing here?" Jaehyun asked nervously and hurried to close the door.

"No, no, no... This is also my room. What is SHE doing here?" realization suddenly hit him, "Oh my God, the lewd noises from before were you both!" he said, holding his hands to his head, his face contorting in horror. 

"Woo, I can explain everything, but please keep your voice down!" You hastened to say as you covered your breasts with the sheets. 

"What are you supposed to explain? It's pretty obvious why you're naked in Jaehyun's bed. Besides, the one you owe an explanation to is Mark, not me." After a few seconds of silence while Jungwoo looked at you both with anger and disappointment, Jaehyun tried to talk.

"Jungwoo, listen. It's not wha-" 

"Shut up!" he cut him off, "I can't believe it Jaehyun. It's Y/N, your friend's girlfriend!" he said pointing at you frantically as if Jaehyun was an idiot and hadn't really realized who you were. "How could you do this to Mark? And you..." he turned to look at you, "you're going to break his heart into a million pieces, Y/N."

"I know it and for that very reason, please, please, please don't say anything to Mark, let me be the one to tell him at the right time." you begged.

"Right time? Tell me Y/N, when is the right time to tell your boyfriend that you had sex with his friend/bandmate in the next room when he was seriously injured?" if looks could kill, by that time you would be dead, "and you, Jaehyun, do you realize all the consequences this could bring, not only to you and Mark but to all the members? No, I bet you don't because you clearly think with your cock, not your brain. You're both scum and I don't want to be part of this, so don't even think I'm going to keep it a secret."

"I swear we're gonna talk to him once he's feeling better, but please don't say anything to him, at least not now. I know we have no right to ask you such a thing or get you involved into this, but we really need you to keep this a secret." Jaehyun said, reaching out to his friend, who rejected him.

"Alright, I'm not going to say anything to Mark, not for your sake, but for his. An emotional blow this strong right now would destroy him completely. He has had enough," said, sighing heavily. "and I don't want to know you're still here tomorrow morning, Y/N." He stated just before leaving and slamming the bedroom door.

"Can't believe what just happened," Jeahyun said, dropping down on his bed next to you, hands on his face covering his eyes in embarrassment.

"What are we going to do?! If Jungwoo says something, we're screwed, Jaehyun!" you started to panic, "This could be the end of your friendship with all the guys, of the group... of everything!" 

"Hey, look at me! Calm down Y/N, we're going to be okay," he said as he took your cheeks in his hands and kissed your forehead, "I'm sure Jungwoo as angry as he is, isn't going to say anything, at least not for now. In the meantime, you and I will figure out the best way to solve all this, you'll see. We still have time."

"I hope so!" You blew up a sigh, choosing to believe in Jaehyun.

It had been weeks since you were discovered by Jungwoo and he'd kept his promise not to say anything to Mark but was finding it extremely difficult to hide his hatred for Jaehyun, especially when they had practice or performance together, so the other guys were starting to notice that something was going on between them, but of course, no one suspected it was something related to you or so.

Every time he saw Mark talk to Jaehyun and call him a friend, his stomach churned with disgust and anger. He couldn't believe how it was possible that after what Jaehyun had done to Mark, he still had the nerve to look him in the eye, smile at him, and treat him as if nothing had ever happened. 

Repugnance, disgust, and hate were exactly what Jungwoo felt for both of you, but so much more for Jaehyun.

"I think she's seeing someone else," Mark said out of the blue, trying to sit on the couch. 

Johnny went to Mark's dorm to spend the evening with him since the other guys had scheduled all day long, so Mark took the opportunity of the two of them being alone to share something that had been on his mind for a while but he didn't really feel comfortable to talk about it with anyone other than Johnny.

"Again, Mark?" Johnny asked, looking up from his cell phone and helping his friend, "Seriously, what's making you think that?" 

"I don't know, I can just sense it, man." 

"So, she hasn't actually done anything to make you think she's cheating on you, it's just something you feel?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, I know it sounds stupid, but it's something you know...I've been thinking about for a while now." 

"I think being stuck here in the dorm for so long is messing with your mind. You need to focus on your recovery, not on thinking nonsenses," he laughed in amusement.

"I'm serious Johnny, while she hasn't given me any real reason to be suspicious, the truth is that she' been behaving differently."

"Explain yourself,"

"She used to always call or text me to say hi or ask when we could meet and when I would tell her that I couldn't, she would get upset or sad, but a few weeks before the accident she stopped looking for me, and when I would call her and ask to hang out, then she would always tell me that she was too busy with work, tired or would go out of town to visit her family, I noticed that she didn't care anymore whether to meet me or not, she seemed to have lost interest in me," 

"Okay, I see... have you thought that maybe, she understood that your life as an idol is very busy and just stopped waiting for you to be available to her and decided to focus on her own interests? Besides, as far as I know, she's been very attentive to you since you were discharged from the hospital and went back to the dorm. She comes to visit you very often, doesn't she?"

"Yes, but although she is very kind to me and helps me in any way she can, I can feel the atmosphere a little uncomfortable. I don't know how to describe it, but it's just not the same anymore," he said, looking down at his feet, ashamed. "it doesn't feel like my girlfriend is visiting me but a nurse or just a friend, if you know what I mean," 

"I'm not sure..."

"She hardly ever kisses me anymore and when she does, it's just a quick little peck, let alone something else," he blushed a bit.

"You mean sex?"

"Mmm, yeah. Too much information, I know. Sorry." the blush in his cheeks intensified.

Johnny chuckled, "Take it easy Mark, you're recovering from a pretty bad accident, it's logical that not much will happen between you since you're still a little hurt. I mean, you even still need some help to move!"

"I know, I know and I don't want to sound paranoid but-" 

Johnny laughed again, "Well, I'm sorry but you already do, dude,"

"No, really. I feel like she still loves me but maybe as a friend, not as her boyfriend anymore. You can feel the atmosphere of awkwardness when I try to make a move on her and at the same time, I see like a special gleam in her eyes, a gleam I've never seen in her before and I know deep down that it's not because of me, it's something else," 

"Normally I would tell you to always follow your intuition, but Mark, Y/N has been my friend for many years, I can tell that I know her very well and I know she's been in love with you from the moment I introduced you guys." 

"Well, maybe she has changed her mind," he shrugged.

"I can assure you that's not the case, but if it makes you feel a little more at ease, I can take her out to lunch one of these days and see if I manage to find out something, I just need to match our schedules." 

"You'd really do that for me?" Mark asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah, well... it's not like I'm going to ask her directly, but I'll be able to observe her well and as I've told you, I've known her for a long time, if there's anything weird, believe me I'll notice it right away,"

"Thanks, mate. I'm really sorry for dragging you into this, but I don't know what else I could do since she never tells me anything."

"You're welcome, that's what friends are for. And now, cheer up! You need to get back on your feet and in no time you'll be back to rehearsing and performing with all of us." Johnny said, patting his shoulder to comfort him.

You had not planned for Jaehyun to stay at your place, but it seemed that you had eaten some spoiled food or something last night and felt quite bad, so he sat on the floor next to you, pulling your hair up and rubbing your back while you emptied it all in the toilet. Then, he carried you to your bedroom, helped you to change your clothes, and stayed the night taking care of you.

The next morning you woke up with the sun's rays on your face, feeling Jaehyun's arms around you as you tried to move.

"Good morning," Jaehyun said softly, kissing your shoulder and stroking your hair. His touch brought you back to reality, and you smiled when you saw him.

"Hey, morning," you say quietly, stroking his face.

"How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?" he asked, looking at you worriedly.

“I feel very good and yeah, I slept well. You?” You slept better than well. Jaehyun spooned you all night, keeping your body nice and warm. You felt absolutely refreshed, having not even woken up once during the night. 

“Awesome,” Jaehyun responded smiling widely, his cute dimples appearing on his face. 

“Do you have anywhere to be today, or do you wanna stick around for a bit?” You rubbed your eyes groggily as you sat up straight.

"I have to go to the company, but there's no rush, I can head out after breakfast.” He said, pulling himself from the warm comfort of your bed.

"Great, I'm so hungry but I better take a shower first, you’re welcome to join me, if not then go get breakfast ready." You offered, disappearing into the bathroom, and before you could even start to run the shower, you saw Jaehyun desperately taking his clothes off. You couldn't help but laugh at his eagerness.

You loved bathing and taking showers with Jaehyun. Watching him wet and naked always lit a fire in your core in an inexplicable way, and today was no exception. You watched the water running down his delicious toned body, and roll down the curves of his ass, the muscles on his back flexing as he washed his face and hair.

“So, are you just gonna watch me shower or what?" He chuckled, amused.

"I can't help but enjoy the view," You said with a cocky side smile.

Jaehyun kissed you gently on the lips first, and then he started to kiss down your jawline towards your neck. Water dripping down your chest making your nipples erect. You let out a soft moan as he bit down on your skin, sucking on it gently while swirling his tongue on that sweet spot in the crook of your neck. 

Your hands started to roam his firm torso, feeling his muscles. You wanted to give his body the proper attention it deserved, so you kept running your fingertips down his solid chest until they brushed over the ridges of his abs. You licked your lips, eager to run your tongue over the skin there. 

He had just the lightest happy trail leading you right to your favorite part of his body. Your eyes traveled back up his body until you locked eyes with him, where you found him staring at you hungrily. 

“Jae, can I…?” You asked, blinking innocently bitting your lower lip.

His eyes widened ever so slightly. “Yes! God, yes, please. But wait, are you sure you're no longer nauseous?” 

"I'm perfectly fine, babe." You pushed him back and dropped to your knees, tipping your chin up to maintain eye contact. 

Jaehyun inhaled sharply as he felt your fingers wrapping around his shaft. Your eyes stayed on him as you leaned forward, sticking your tongue out flat as you ran it up the underside of his dick. Though he didn’t make a noise, you noticed the way his eyelashes fluttered and his gaze darkened. 

You placed wet kisses at the tip of his cock before you began to take him slowly into your mouth. You wanted him to feel every inch of your mouth as it surrounded him, desperate to break his steady demeanor. 

One of his hands came to the side of your face to brush your hair away, his thumb stroking your cheek lovingly.

"You love sucking my cock, don't you?" 

You batted your eyelashes up at him, your mouth still wrapped around his dick. You weren’t quite ready to pull away, so you just nodded your head, careful not to let any bit of his cock slip out. The way Jaehyun smirked back down at you sent warmth straight between your cunt, causing you to squeeze your knees together from where you knelt on the floor. 

Yeah, you were absolutely loving this. Something about having this power over Jaehyun, even as he stared down at you with such a domineering gaze, turned you on beyond words. You let him set the pace with his hand at the back of your head. He was gentle with you, but you knew he was holding back.

“You’re doing so well, baby,” he told you, his hand coming to join the other at the back of your head, stroking your hair softly. 

Encouraged by his praise, you attempted to take just one extra inch inside your mouth on your next downstroke.

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned, just as he slipped past the resistance of your gag reflex and you dug your nails into his tighs.

When you opened your eyes to look up at him, you were awfully pleased to see his head thrown back, and his face screwed up in pleasure, so you continued taking more and more of his dick even though your jaw ached and your throat was becoming sore. It was all worth it for the moans and groans you were pulling out of him. 

“Oh, oh shit!“ Jaehyun suddenly said, his hands tugging harshly on your hair to pull your mouth off of him. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I just need you to stop.”

Standing from the floor, you wiped your mouth and chin with the back of your hand. Jaehyun didn’t waste much time and reached down to your legs lifting them around his waist, pressing you against the cold shower walls. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him for a kiss. 

“I wonder how wet you really are…” he said reaching down your cunt and spreading your folds with his fingers. He gently teased you as he felt you squirm under his touch. “Ready?” He asked.

“Mhm,” you responded. 

As he sank into you, you both let out sighs of pleasure. Jaehyun set a fast pace inside of you that had you moaning every time he bottomed out. He was also muttering words of praise, but you could barely focus on anything besides the way he was pushing into your g-spot. 

You moaned his name, louder and louder as he picked up his pace even more.

"Are you close?” he asked, leaning forward to press his forehead into yours. “God, how are you so tight?” 

You nodded. “I-I’m so close, Jae. Please, please, don’t stop.” Somewhere, in the back of your head, you knew you were being too loud, there was no way there wouldn’t be a noise complaint called into your landlord, but you couldn't help, Jaehyun was driving into you at a consistently breathtaking pace. All you could think about was the delicious way he felt inside of you. 

You were almost seeing stars, the heat in your belly was ready to spread flames and engulf your entire body, but suddenly a loud bang on the door startled the two of you. 

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" 

Mark was standing in the doorframe with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, staring at the scene with a blank stare, as if he couldn't believe what his eyes were witnessing at that moment.

Previous ☆ Next

☆ A/n: Hope it was worth the wait. Don't forget to let me know if you want a happy o angsty end for this series.

☆ Taglist: @lilacboba @queenrachelpink @kaja2016 @happyladybee @bekah931215 @ahtisa02 @jaeymark @yincotton @missfunsize @jaeymark @centaurflame4325 @the-universe-in-you-jjh @tinted-peaches @minijaems @jj-ms @butterfly6600

[gay-pirate-anime]

On the subject of the Girl!Law episode, I actually find Toeis changes to be really... interesting.

Like... in the Manga Law seemed to be the least affected by the transformation. There's enough wiggle-room to claim he only wasted energy on curing it because it was throwing his crew off. Meanwhile, in the anime, he shirks his duties to pout at the wall for five minutes.

Also: big difference between Shachi and Penguin squeeing over Law before vs after they're transformed. Being distrected from an enemy attack by your captain being so cute, is different from being distracted from ogling your friend because that same thing making you ogle him is actually distressing when it happens to you. One lightens the mood, the other turns it into body horror.

At least we get background ikkaku to give us Sapphic vibes, but it's just... not as fun?

It would've been great if Law had to track down Chopper for a cure though. Especially if *Sanji* had the cure from the HRT recipes.

Oda shoulda' just left em like that imo. Or just Law. I think it would have been a great narrative choice. It's a controversial subject having any character have their sex changed against their will, especially when you begin to question what that change says about gender and trans rep in media, but I've always felt like most of Law's major character ark was resolved already in Dressrosa, and then capstoned later in Wano with the Luffy/Kid/Law alliance against Kaido. Having him instead explore his gender, now that he's had his resolution re: Corazon's death, would have been a super interesting direction to take. For example: Seeing how other character's regard for him would have changed now that he's in a 'female' body, how Law's own toxic masculinity has affected his ability to have relationships/friendships, among other possible ideas.

That's not even to bring up the mad props I'd give to Oda, who's usually on my shitlist for not drinking his respect women juice, even though he sometimes accidentally writes great women and trans characters. Making a fan favourite character who is that strong permanently 'female' yet harbour exactly the same strength as before would just be a power move. idk. That throw-away line they had in the anime where he said his body was weaker was utter bs. The whole scene just came off as distasteful fanservice.

TLDR: it was already a cheap gag, the anime made it worse, but that gag had potential to be so much more. not just for law's character but for oda's rep with writing non cis-men.

Not surprised but still disappointed.

[sallyastralhcs]

【Ｉｎｆｏ　Ｐｏｓｔ】

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Headcanon requests are open. (0/5)

Please always check the pinned post before submitting a request, because requests may be closed or I may have changed something!

Masterlist Post

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Fandoms and characters I will write about:

Jujutsu Kaisen

Characters: Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, Nobara Kugisaki, Yuta Okkotsu, Maki Zen'in, Toge Inumaki, Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Ryomen Sukuna, Kento Nanami, Choso Kamo.

Ships: SatoSugu, ItaKugi, ChosoYuki, YutaMaki.

Devil May Cry

Characters: Dante, Vergil, Nero, Kyrie, Lady, Trish, Sparda, Eva

Ships: Dante x Lady, Nero x Kyrie, Sparda x Eva

Sally Face

Characters: Sal Fisher, Larry Johnson, Ashley Campbell, Todd Morrison, Neil

Ships: Todd x Neil

ITSV/ATSV/BTSV

Characters: Miles Morales, Miles G. Morales (Earth 42), Pavitr Prabhakar, Hobie Brown, Gwen Stacy, Penny Parker, Peter B. Parker

Ships: GoldenFlower, GhostPunk

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Tropes and content:

Allowed

Fluff

Angst

Romance

Friendships

X Readers (male, female, gender neutral)

Horror

Gore and Heavy Gore

AUs

NOT allowed

NSFW (sexual themes, my limit is making out)

Rape/Non-Con

Toxic/abusive relationships

Incest

Pedophilia/Large age gaps

Glorification of SH, suicide, mental illnesses, or any of the previous themes

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My rules:

My deadline to reply is 2 weeks. If I haven't answered it means that I decided to delete your request because it doesn't meet my rules and boundaries;

If you want to use my headcanons as a prompt for a fanfiction or any other piece of art, please credit me!;

If the requests are closed, do not send any more. I'll delete them right away;

I'll reserve myself the right to decline the requests that don't meet my boundaries;

If you have sent a request, please do not send any more until I have responded or until the two weeks are up. To send another request after I've responded to the previous one, wait two days so others can send one too;

If a fandom you want to request isn't there, it means that I either don't know what it is, I don't feel like writing about it at the moment or that I'm not in the community;

Don't suggest different characters, ships or tropes other than the ones I've listed;

My headcanons will always be tagged with #sallyastralhcs

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[pochapal]

I feel like someone/I should of asked this sooner, but: Any guesses/thoughts based off Kyrie, Rudolf, and Battler towards Ange’s… everything? You knew who they are but in case you forget: Kyrie & Rudolf’s daughter. Rudolf’s second kid.

i forgot ange existed 💀💀💀

anyway reviewing my liveblog notes i do find it very interesting that there are two absent female figures at the very top and very bottom of the ushiromiya totem pole (grandma ushiromiya, ange). like... that feels like a very deliberate choice. i think my answer will be similar for both individuals: they are symbols standing in for some specific theme/mystery that isn't fully clear yet. what i will say is that grandma and ange are not in the story and are both mentioned as much as the other, but neither haunts the narrative in the way that beatrice does.

my best guess is that like how grandma ushiromiya possibly represents a diminished and killed sense of female empowerment and agency within the ushiromiya household, ange represents something to do with family unit construction. perhaps also in conjunction with maria's absent father? you have ange the beloved absence, maria's father the hated absence (presumably), and grandma ushiromiya the ambivalent absence. not sure. i'm spitballing a lot over here.

the only fact we get about ange is that she's a baby and she gets sick around the time of the family conference - specifically, she gets a vomiting bug. there's a lot of very easily symbolism to read into that; as the most Innocent member of the family, the Ushromiya Essence poisons baby ange to the point where it makes her ill as a manifestation of what this family is doing to all its members. the vomiting part is maybe in a purging/purification sense? ie that ange is expelling the ushiromiya poison and is also guaranteed to survive the weekend of the conference thanks to the fact she's not there. perhaps in the wake of this all this means ange is fated to escape the cycle of abuse and cruelty or something like that? not sure since i think ange's role in the text is limited to her as a conceptual stand in for the union between rudolf and kyrie than anything else.

perhaps if we're thinking about the family unit there's something to the fact that in 1986 the child that is authentically rudolf and kyrie's is absent but battler, the specter of a previous relationship and one who has rejected the ushiromiya family, is there in her place. like obviously we need a battler-like figure as a basic narrative device in order to tell the story of umineko in the first place but he also exists as a potential point of contention between rudolf and kyrie. from what we saw kyrie was cordial and fond of battler even if their relationship was little more than a casual friendship but i wonder how that would have held if the killings hadn't happened and battler re-entered the ushiromiya fold and kyrie was forced to witness rudolf's kid from the last marriage walk in and not only be loved more than her child, but also possess more power in the hierarchy than kyrie herself does. hard to tell because none of this came to pass and kyrie was never overtly part of those toxic powerplays in the way that, say, eva was.

ange might have something to do with that secret rudolf was going to share with battler and kyrie but never got the chance to before he was killed, but at this point in the story nobody who would meaningfully care about ange is even still alive unless something new is revealed on that front. grandma ushiromiya might have something to do with the epitaph but i'm not sure where ange would fit into that. it's a little perplexing trying to figure that one out with the information i have!

idk i think ange's Everything is that she's a baby who managed to escape the horrors and who might be the key to understanding some kind of as-yet-unseen riddle/mystery to do with rokkenjima or the ushiromiya family that rudolf was clued in on. i'm really not too sure!

[danggirlronpa]

If you're still doing those hot take asks then all I want to say is that idk if it's common anymore but I hate it when people criticize Komaru for stupid stuff like the biggest crime of being a scared teen thrown into an apocalyptic situation and her being slightly out of touch and dumb after being locked up in a room for 2 years (the worst criticism I've ever seen was this one person who said that she never treated Toko with kindness as if she doesn't have an ungodly amount of patience the entire game, but this same person called tokomaru a "toxic friendship" soooo) tl;dr I will defend Komaru with my life she deserves better than to be stuck in udg

I think about Komaru all the time. She has a very special place in my heart, and unfortunately I think she's far and away one of the most often mischaracterized DR characters. And she gets a TON of disrespect for things that Makoto & Hajime don't get despite sharing the same traits, like people thinking she's "boring" or "doesn't have a personality outside being normal."

Personally, my big Komaru pet peeve is when people talk about Komaru as being a babysitter, or raising the Warriors of Hope after the game is over. I know it's coming from wish fulfillment on behalf of the warriors - that people want to see the abused kids get an adult who guides them back to the right path - but it's SO frustrating to see yet another female character stripped of her complexities and traumas and fears in order to be A Mother/Older Sister Figure. I HATE this trope. It makes it really obvious that they didn't actually pay attention to the character at all, because Komaru is VISCERALLY uncomfortable with the horrors they've committed and continues to struggle with the knowledge they are children vs her personal desire to get as far away from them as possible for the entire game. Komaru got dealt the absolute worst hand of any protagonist and instead of talking about the fascinating psychological effect of the "inhumane isolation for two years -> watched an entire society massacred in front of her including all of her saviors -> told to become prey in a murder game -> meets a serial killer" pipeline that she goes through in the space of like THREE HOURS?? people just want to talk about her in the context of other characters and the ways she can Help Them TM.

This got away from me. TLDR you're so right and I think Komaru should get to be on the verge of a mental breakdown, keeping herself together through the sheer force of thinking about her favorite manga! is she not valid! is she not relatable

[rpgsocialservices]

RPG Review: Misao Definitive Edition

Ah, Misao. A cornerstone of 2010s rpgmaker games. Horror, parody, a genuinely fun vibe that is so derivative yet so distinctive and memorable. A remastered edition was published on Steam in 2017, and I'm here to go over the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Note: I am reviewing the remastered edition, not the 2011 edition; however part of the review will be comparing the two.

The Good:

The graphics on this game were probably the biggest upgrade from the original. It is still recognizably Misao, but the quality is clearer, the characters are more detailed and look like video game characters instead of dolls, and the backgrounds are simultaneously less cluttered and more detailed where it counts. Beyond that, there are the items to collect. I am, admittedly, ambivalent on the change from body parts to personal items, but it does provide a greater cohesion with the story. There are other minor changes (such as Aki hiding in a bear suit instead of a corpse), but nothing that detracted from overall experience. In fact, the updated game is well worth it for the increased detail and streamlined concepts.

I really enjoyed the differences between male and female Aki. Female Aki is the 'true' game experience, but playing male Aki highlights how unhinged the female version is. Like seriously, if you play the female version first and then the male (which is the best order) you feel like you just woke up the day after the purge. Male Aki is so normal compared to female Aki and it really comes off well both as two distinctive versions and as a humorous comparison. I played male Aki after playing female Aki and felt like a 22 year old coming to grips with the homoerotic friendship I had in school that was detrimental to my mental health. I felt like I had finished reading a manga about toxic yuri. I felt like watching Jennifer's Body. Female Aki is psychotic.

The Bad:

After talking about how great the new graphic are comparatively, this is going to feel kind of nitpicky. I actually think the older graphic lend a certain atmosphere that the new graphics don't quite capture. Don't get me wrong, there are certain elements I much appreciate, such as the floor tiles not being so busy and the character sprites not looking so wooden or having doll proportions. The rooms (if not the halls) themselves just look better. It's just that, despite all the demons and blood and general 'spooky' nonsense, I don't feel like I'm in an underworld demon realm like I did with the old graphics. It was a charm reminiscent of crt tvs and atari games that is becoming increasingly rare in modern game graphics.

The Ugly:

I hate the extra endings. Not the bad and true endings, but the after-game ending where you go save everyone from hell and help them reincarnate. Some were good, some were ok, but the teacher's story put such a bad taste in my mouth. For one, I was genuinely uninterested in his story or what made him decide to be a predator on his students. For two, honestly, this is a game that largely rests on being the video game equivalent of a bad haunted house. The teacher's story is the one element that doesn't fit the vibe of the rest of the game well, and that makes it stick out like a sore thumb. Honestly, I get what they were going for, but its clunky at best. I liked the entire rest of the game until this part which made me almost not play the male run.

Summary:

This is a fun game! Its not perfect, and personal preference will decide which version of the game you like best, but it absolutely holds up as a remake and is just as silly to play through as the other versions. There's a ton of theorizing to be done between this game, the earlier versions, and Mad Father (another game by the same dev which is referenced a lot in Misao). If I ever feel like playing all of those games back to back I might make my own list, but its fun to find what you can and come up with your own theories! Personally, my favorite part was collecting all the different ways to die like I was filling out my pokemon index, haha

[whumpering-heights]

Brainwashing, Pt. 2/2: the aftermath

Pt 1

comic based off this chapter (ft slight spoilers for this bit)

CWs: mind control, affectionate whumper, female whumper, conditioning, gaslighting, toxic friendship

-------------------------

Lloyd didn’t know where he was. But it was okay.   He couldn’t really think. But he felt calm. He didn’t even feel the need to open his eyes, though he was pretty sure he could.  All he was aware of, was the soft female voice humming a song, and her fingers running through his hair. With her other hand, she ran a warm, wet cloth over his face. His head was in her lap. This must be what heaven was like. 

He knew, instinctively, that he was safe. And that he loved whoever was with him.   It had been so long since he’d felt this calm, and he teared up. The woman chuckled.  

“Oh, does that feel nice? I bet it does. This is much better, isn't it?” 

Slowly, bit by bit, Lloyd’s awareness returned to him, and with every revelation, he felt worse off. He hummed with displeasure, he just wanted to float forever, but his senses delivered information against his will.  

There were traces of dried blood on his face, despite the woman’s efforts to clean it off. It was in his nose. He felt the sting of recent tears in his eyes. Every muscle fibre screamed and ached, like he'd come down with a horrible flu.   He shuddered. There was something nagging at him, little alarm bells ringing and slowly increasing in volume.   “Ah, are you waking up? Well, I guess we’ll have to see whether it took.” 

He recognised that voice now. It was Sarah. 

Sarah! 

The alarm bells became a screaming cacophony, and he jerked awake. Her upside-down face smiled down at him. 

“Morning, sunshine!” 

He recoiled off her lap, heart racing. The moment the comfort stopped, he felt the overwhelming urge to throw himself back at her feet. It had felt so intoxicatingly good to lay there, he’d never felt so calm before, he needed it- 

“No,” he whispered in horror, as the memories came flooding back. They were hazy, he recalled nearly nothing from the moment he’d woken up till just then, but there was one moment he recalled clearly: when he realized that Sarah was in his head, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.  

He felt sick. Sarah just looked at him with a curious smile.   “What’s the matter?” she asked, innocently.   “Give it back,” he said with a shaky voice. “Sarah, you promised you never would, not to me. Give it back, please!” 

She cocked her head. “Give what back? Are you feeling alright?” 

“No!” cried Lloyd. “No, I’m not! Give me my mind back, Sarah!” 

He considered taking a knife and forcing her. But the thought sizzled before he could act on it. His hand didn’t even twitch.  He could never. She was his friend. His only friend, he realized. He trusted no one but her, and he hated her for that.  

“Your mind is your own, silly,” Sarah grinned, and she reminded Lloyd of a cat playing with their prey. No reason, other than curiousity to how the poor creature would struggle.  

Lloyd sobbed dryly, with no more tears left to cry, and she tutted.  

“Oh, poor dear, you’re getting confused again. You know what I think would help cheer you up?” 

She held out her arms, and before Lloyd could stop himself, he threw himself in her embrace. 

Heaven. Heaven.   He could physcially feel himself untense and unwind, and a small whine escaped his lips. His eyes fluttered shut, as every nerve in his body told him safe, while a part of his mind kept screaming no.  

Sarah swayed from side to side, holding him tight.   “Now, is there something you wanted to say to me?” she asked, syrupy-sweet.  

Oh, so many things. Lloyd wished he could scream. He wanted to curse her out, to run her through. Most of all, he wanted this to stop. It made his skin crawl. But the only thought he found himself capable of giving voice to, was a soft and meek: “Please, don’t stop.” 

And it wasn’t even a lie.  

Pt 1

Comic

[delta-lethonomia]

Asking!!! How about 7, 11, and 20??

Oooh! For my fic "For All The Wrong Reasons" (not that I currently have anything else published, but future proofing haha)

7. What inspired the idea for the plot?

Astarion's Act 2 romance scene, after the conversation with Araj Oblodra where they player can offer to have a relationship with him without sex for as long as he needs. It's a sweet scene but it made me stop and stare at the screen for minutes. I wasn't playing myself in BG3, but I had to ask myself - would I be okay with a sexless relationship? Would my character? And the answer was no.

Having been in relationships with very unbalanced libidos, it fucking sucks. Strong female sexual desire gets treated as unimportant or even a bit of a joke in media, so I wanted to write a character who'd get to that scene and have the maturity to say "hey, I really like you and I want this to work, but not having sex is going to be a problem for me". Of course, now that I've actually made it to that scene in my fanfic it turned out very different hahaha!

11. Was there a scene that you hadn't originally planned to include? Why did you decide to fit it in?

Tons of the recent eldritch horror stuff. I wanted Tav's patron to be the Great Old One from the beginning (as that's what I played in my first run), but in the manual that particular relationship is described as warlocks stealing power from an unknowing being. I needed Tav to have a firm contract for plot reasons but that's not really possible if one party doesn't know the other exists. So the GOO/Cthulu-esque being needs to know of Tav in some way, but I also wanted to make it clear that that's a very bad thing.

Becoming a Warlock is supposed to be something only the most power-hungry, arrogant, or foolish individuals do, because you're basically selling your soul or sanity for power. It's important characterization for Tav to show why she chose to go through with it - but therefore, it needs to be appropriately dangerous, disgusting, or violating, so why not all three?

20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?

Ooooof that's a tough one. I guess there's two parts:

a.) The fic started off as a smutty oneshot that grew overtime so I feel it's not really obvious that there's a budding plot in the beginning. I worry that new readers might read the first few chapters and kind of write it off as a toxic dark romance, and not stick around for the way the mystery and romance continue to develop later on.

b.) In the fic, I don't think people have really picked up on just how repressed and depressed Tav is. There's tons of stuff she just doesn't think about. She has no goals, drinks a lot, and has no relationships (even casual friendships) after her husband died over 20 years ago. She's very stagnant. Astarion's a very dynamic character by contrast; he spends time mulling over a new piece of information, emotionally works through it, and then changes over time, while Tav is still stuck on shit that happened decades ago, still having anxiety attacks, still putting up walls and keeping people away.

As one eagle-eyed commenter pointed out, Tav was born to a young teenage mother working as a prostitute, unable to afford a contraceptive. Now, Tav works producing contraceptives for the very same brothel, providing a service that would have prevented herself from being born. That's not a great headspace to be in, and she was certainly not doing it out of the kindness of her heart.

[prpfs]

Hello! 🫀🕊️I’m sorry, this is kind of a long one.

I’m a 20+ discord writer, looking for 20+, literate writers for some darker romance + smut plots! Comfortable with both canon characters, and OC’s! Open to making plot specific OC’s, as well! I tend to write female characters, but am open to male, or female characters, as well as Non-Binary!

As for specifics, I am primarily looking for age gap ships, such as professors and students, bosses, and interns / new employees, parents family friend, slashers and their victims, or monsters and humans! Anything with an unbalanced power dynamic, overall toxicity, etc, is very much welcomed and encouraged, hardly anything is off the table!

Specific Fandoms I can write characters for, if you’re not interested in OC’s are: Marvel, Overwatch, Wednesday, Classic Monsters, The Last of Us, and Most Horror! Overall themes I’m welcome too are futuristic, Modern, Gothic/Horror, Dark Fantasy, Supernatural, Etc! From Marvel, I would most like to write against Venom, or any of the symbiotes, or any of the Spiders! From The Last Of Us, I would love to see Joel! Other than that, I am open to anything and everything.

I typically write submissive ++ younger characters, and am looking for more dominant characters to play against! Individual kinks, and limits, and preferences can be discussed, however, my hard limits involve bathroom kinks, vore, and beastiality! These are typically the only NSFW themes I won’t do! 🫶🏻 is welcome!

I would prefer real faceclaims, over animated / drawn ! Please be 20, or older, and comfortable writing on discord. And PLEASE, be comfortable communicating your wants + needs, and general overall feelings towards the thread. I hope to build a friendship OOC, and that requires communication! ( I am also willing to double, or even triple up, if you have a plot idea you’ve been wanting to try! )

Please leave a like, and I’ll slide you a message when I can! ( Thank you mods ♥️♥️ )

Leave a like, and anon will get back to you!

[sophielovesbooks]

Rewatched Jennifer's Body with a friend today. God I love that film. Such a vibe.

Anyway. Does anybody know of any book (or film) that's similar? The toxic, somewhat homoerotic female friendship? Horror elements? A bit of social commentary perhaps?

[theboarsbride]

Name 5 movies/book/songs/etc that inspired each of your stories!

:0

OOO!!! So sorry this took too long to get around, but thank you so, so much for sending this ask in!! 🥺💛

The Monster and the Butterfly🥀🦋

Crimson Peak - and Guillermo del Toro's whole filmography, tbh, but Crimson Peak especially. And also other ghost movies/shows, such as The Orphanage, The Others, The Haunting of Bly Manor, Mama, Paranormal Activity, The Conjuring I & II.

Panna a Netvor/Beauty and the Beast (1979), as well as Jean Cocteau's La Belle et la Bete.

Various dark fantasy movies and books from the 1980s/90s like The Dark Crystal, Legend, The Company of Wolves, etc. and Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber.

Shelley Duvall's Fairytale Theater "Beauty and the Beast" episode (literally why Susan Sarandon - who plays Beauty - is Sophie's fc)... and honestly, on that same note, Peter Jackson's LOTR trilogy because the fucking music is so good, and Brad Dourif as Grima Wormtongue is the whole reason why the modern version of Edgar exists (and is his fc) lmao.

A Taste for Monsters by Matthew Kirby - and to add onto this, KIND OF?? Is that a lot of inspiration for TMATB came from the hate I feel towards some modern BATB retellings (i.e.- Sarah J Maas' A Court of Thorns and Roses series especially) that feature conventionally attractive 'Beasts' who are only beasts in the sense that they're awful, toxic, cruel people who, to me, don't deserve redemption or romance - or even friendship - as well as female protagonists who are just so, so unlikeable in their bitterness, idiocy, and Mary Sue-ness??? I wanted to write a romance that featured love interests that were unconventional in appearance, flawed but still likeable, and having a relationship that is healthy/consensual!

Cheating and adding a 6th one, but the works of Abigail J. Harding's Parliament of Rooks portfolio! GOTHIC BIRD MONSTER BELOVED!

Those Red Nights🌕🐺

Using Bob Odenkirk as a fc for a werewolf character - literally that's the whole reason why this story exists lmfao. So you bet I was watching the hell out of Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad for inspo (and simp material)!

Silence of the Lambs, the movie especially! But there is also Thomas Harris' Red Dragon novel (and the movie starring Ed Norton and Anthony Hopkins, and the movie Manhunter) that was a source of inspiration!

David Fincher's Se7en - I wanted to write a neo-Noir story for a hot minute, especially ones with psychological horror elements!

Nightmare by Tuesday Knight - this just helped me develop the idea of TRN being a psychological horror, and writing about the themes surrounding nightmares, the haunting effects of guilt, etc.

Werewolf movies like Bad Moon and Silver Bullet

Temperance & Mr. Wyrm 🐍⚕️- I don't talk about this WIP much but I still think about it regularly!

Wanting to do a retelling of the fairytale "The Lindworm Prince" and also wanting to explore writing a weird body horror romance!

The Shape of Water - again, del Toro out here inspiring goofy fucking monster romances!

David Cronenberg's The Fly - tragic body horror romance goodness, my beloved!

General 1980s media and pop culture - a lot of this was kind of inspired by reading My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix! It's a book set in the 80s and utilizes the 80s nostalgia, but it also doesn't shy away from how ugly the 80s were in terms of social stigmas for people who weren't straight white men. In TAMW especially what I'd be alluding to is the stigma surrounding AIDS, and other blood-borne illnesses.

And, lowkey, wanting to have Gwendoline Christie as a fc for a character?? Like, idk, with who Temperance is as a character within the novella, Christie seems to fit her super well! Also the tall gf x short bf is a ship dynamic I ADORE! (also the character of Jack, the titular 'Mr. Wyrm,' is another character where I use Brad Dourif as a fc for but shhhhh i know I'm cringe, don't remind me)

These are the main WIPs I still work on!! There is also The Faeries and the Lark but that's more on the backburner for now, but that story was inspired by wanting to do a genderbent retelling of Sleeping Beauty but has now turned into a Gothic/dark fantasy Sapphic romance that's a funky blend between Sleeping Beauty and East of the Sun, West of the Moon that's inspired by Scandinavian folklore and seeing images of women in armor lmao.

But if there are any WIPs you'd wanna learn about, give me a shout and I'm more than willing to scream about these goofy, silly little stories!!