#italian americans will either love you or hate you

[keikiri-kitten]

So we all know Leon is Italian American, right?

What if he speaks in Italian for the times when what he wants to say shouldn’t be said? Maybe he hides a sarcastic comment from his colleagues in Italian? Maybe he gives a quick one liner to you in Italian that you don’t understand and he refuses to tell you what it means so he can frustrate you on purpose?

Speaking of talking to you in Italian, what if he gives you a nickname in Italian? I would like to think he calls you something along the lines of doll face in English. Though in Italian, he mouths off a quiet “my love” when he’s finishing off a sentence when having a conversation with you.

It’s been a frustrating day for both you and Leon and honestly? All either one of you want to do is just rest in each others arms and just relax. However, aside from work taking over what was supposed to be a good day for you two, you also can’t stop bickering to one another.

“The day has been a long one, Leon. I really don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Alright,” he allows you to walk off from him. “Just come back to the couch when you’ve calmed down.” His nickname is quiet and defeated, allowing you space as he dives for the couch with his hands behind his head so he could stare at the ceiling, “amore mio.”

I would assume since he’s Italian American, his Italian is a bit rusty, so how cute would it be to come home to see him making dinner for the both of you in tandem with rambling off small sentences and correcting himself?

Leon has been going at it for almost half an hour now. He hated the self conscious feeling washing over him as he rambles off broken Italian to himself while frustratedly cutting up ingredients to eat. It’s a lot of starting and stopping with the knife in his hand but when you open the door after a long day at work, he sighs out. He greets you with a quick comment of relief. You don’t understand it but something tells you that you probably shouldn’t ask. Finally, he calls out to you in English and asks for your help with dinner.

“You alright?”

“Ever have one of those personal crises that no one else but you only seems to care about?” Leon quizzes.

“Only ten times a day,” you reassure, kissing his cheek before washing your hands to help him.

[tetras-stuff]

I asked my sister who knows nothing about Resident Evil to look at pictures of the characters and describe what she thinks of them. Here is what she said for each character

Jill

- massive asshole

- a little gay

- needs a haircut and a shower

- shops exclusively at thrift stores

- she looks greasy

Chris

- gay

- bottom

- likes baking cookies

- has a nicki minaj American flag

- does the white girl dance to romans revenge in the club

- would ask the DJ to play ABBA at a rave

wesker

- OOO THATS A GAY MAN

- very homophobic but he's still gay

- loves the movie mean girls and watches it religiously

- he smokes candy cigarettes

claire

- "I'm not racist but"

- makes POV tiktoks unironically

- posts thirst traps thinking she's that girl

- peaked in high school

- mean lesbian

ada

- follows you round a puppy dog if she likes you, if she doesn't like you she's a mega bitch

- "I'm not like other girls"

- watches POV tiktoks unironically and religiously

- "I'm not even wearing makeup today guys omg stop 🙈"

- says she's goth because she listens to Arctic monkeys

Luis

- gay

- Italian

- "is he gay or european" but he's both

- extremely extremely gay

- loves lego batman but only lego batman

- a flirt

- loves fashion and fragrances

- gay

- looks like he comes from what we do in the shadows

ethan

- loves Ben shapiro

- would spit on a drag queen

- is so homophobic he has to be a bit gay

- thinks men are too feminine these days

Sherry

- Russian and thinks singing Russian songs is cultural appropriation

- doesn't care about male or female attention

- loves horror movies and chick flicks

- thinks she's different because she likes earl grey tea

jake muller

- would spit on a service worker

- shoplifts but only small things like pens

- steals all his clothes from dumpsters

- acts gangster

- a bit fruity

- paints his nails and is embarrassed so wears gloves

leon kennedy

- is the drag queen ethan spits on

- loved the barbie movie and has an "I am kenough" hoodie

- can't drive

- either really gay or an over the top ally who wears "my friend is bi I don't ask why" shirts to rallies

- dog person

- would have a giant dog and a tiny dog

- he's a romantic and goes all in for relationships

- unironically finds scary movies really scary

Carlos

- was bullied in school

- would sit through a chick flick with a girl

- really feminist but also a "wheres my hug at" guy

- posts about how much he hates Andrew tate on Instagram

- loves emo girls because he was bullied for being emo

- loves guns n roses

- loves girls who don't wash

[assassinschaoticcreed]

Can we get some headcannons about the BOYS? (thats what im calling them)

I like it, from here on out they are the boys.

since you didn't specify for what exactly, I chose random things that I have thought of, too many times before.

Altaïr 🦅

• more than once this man has walked into a glass door, and on a few occasions broke said door. he walked away like nothing happened.

• I've said it once and I'll say it again : this man is terrible with technology. like, the only stuff he's good with is old time, back in the day kinda stuff. keyboard? can't use it for shit. typewriter? this guy is like a damn journalist. laptop? the thing is destroyed because he got so mad when he couldn't figure out where the mouse was, even when desmond showed him where it was. old desktop that's built like a t.v.? perfect, everything makes sense now.

• when checking out at stores and the cashiers say "have a good day" on multiple occasions, an embarrassing amount of occasions this man has responded with: "what's so good about it", "thanks.", "you have good days?", "I didn't even want to get out of bed this morning.", "im leaving now"

• due to the last one: this man never uses a credit or debit card. cash only.

• before he broke the pasta noodles in half in front of ezio, he's thought about doing it way too many times. the reason he finally acted on it was because ezio brought up the many fires, explosions, and overall chaos that has happened when he "cooks". Altaïr internally said "fuck you, AND your pasta noodles"

• has set the microwave on fire before, blown out the front of it. cue desmond and arno running into the kitchen frantically putting the fire out, taking out what was inside it. there was a can of green beans. cue des and arno asking him why the hell he put a METAL can in the microwave. "oh you're not supposed to put metal in the microwave?"

• he is NOT a morning person. if you go to wake up this man and he's in a deep sleep, he's waking up swinging. Jacob has been slugged in the face a few times.

• I feel like Altaïr would like to nap in the sun/warm places.

• believe it or not, he was the weird kid that ate dirt.

• as a kid he was gifted an bald eagle as a birthday present from his dad, he was gifted a little yellow parakeet as his birthday present from his mother. he named her sunflower and the eagle apollo. he came back from training one day wanting to spend time with apollo and sunflower. apollo was there but sunflower wasn't, but there were yellow feathers everywhere. his dad told him apollo ate sunflower. Altaïr plucked all of apollos feathers on his head out. "you really are a bald eagle now aren't you, you little shit" vengeance for sunflower was served.

Ezio 🌹

• this man is a 5 star chef when it comes to authentic Italian food. don't ask him to make American food. anything other than Italian food he can't cook.

• after becoming great friends with Arno, ezio too is now a hopeless romantic.

• ezio and arno send each other memes either during conversations or as conversations.

• doesn't hesitate on the intrusive thoughts. just does them.

• has worn both his mother and Claudia's make up before, and he is flawless when putting on eyeliner. he doesn't go all out, he's more of the natural beauty kind of guy.

• this man can take one look at a person and correctly guess their clothing size.

• he and arno like to get together and have gossip sessions with a nice (few) bottles of wine.

• I whole heartedly believe that ezio is an amazing artist. he and leonardo bonded over painting, sketching, drawing etc. and on more than one occasion has joked with Arno with the whole "paint me like one of your French girls" gets a smack to the back of the head everytime.

• loves teasing Altaïr, he's so easy to rile up and ezio gets a laugh out of it. that is until Altaïr breaks pasta noodles in front of him. fists are up and ready to go.

• hates horses cause they have a long face, it makes him uncomfortable.

Arno 🥐

• has punched both edward and Jacob multiple times for pronouncing "croissant" wrong.

• gossip time with ezio is one of his favorite days of the week.

• when having conversations with ezio its either with memes in it, or how the conversation is being had.

• will not hesitate to roast you. loves roasting people, in fact he deep down hopes that someone will piss him off enough to roast them. even though he doesn't really need a reason.

• is very protective over the boys. (this man has trauma, can we blame him)

• an amazing singer. ezio has asked Arno for tips/lessons and once Arno heard him sing he said "can you hear yourself? no? good, cause trust me, you don't want to."

• he's really good at writing: poetry, songs, stories and even plays, but he's self conscious so he'd never try to get them to actually be put out there. ezio and desmond are his #1 hype team.

• I can see him being a great figure skater. don't know why, but I do.

• is a great baker, another 5 star chef when it comes to making authentic (french) food.

• he and Altaïr like to people watch and judge them like Simeon Cowell.

Connor🐺

• this man has a petting zoo of animals, from childhood into adulthood.

• calls animals fur babies, change my mind.

• is another one who is protective over the boys

• believe it or not, he's more in tune with his emotional side like Arno and Ezio.

• loves wearing flannels, not only are they comfy but he likes the way they look.

• wants to build himself a cabin, like the ones you see some youtubers do. chop down the trees, use them to build it and all that jazz.

• wants to have a timber wolf as a pet, it's his dream pet. he truly wants just a wolf, but knows it's not a good idea.

• brought a turkey into the house as a kid, Ziio was not a happy camper. but she didn't want connor to be sad, so she said he could keep it as long as it stayed outside.

• the turkey and Connor were playing outside of their village. it was November. there was a loud bang, Connor turned around and turkey had been shot...and he was shot by none other than Charles Lee. another reason he hates the man so much.

• (for this one we're gonna say Haytham and Ziio stayed together) whenever Charles Lee came over to visit, Connor never liked him. when his parents weren't looking he would do this to Charles Lee; bite, kick, pour salt in his food and drink, make faces etc. Haytham knew, but it also amused Haytham so he said nothing.

Edward🏴‍☠️

• cried while getting his first tattoo, like sobbed.

• Mary on more than one occasion has gotten him (when he's drunk ofc) to cross dress (like she does as james)

• is a huge fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series.

• sings sea shantys when doing things around the house.

• has slept outside many times while drunk. doesn't remember how he got there, when he got there, or why he stayed.

• has wanted to try those swimming like a mermaid trend.

• wants the boys to get a pirate themed tattoo with him.

• he and Jacob like to go out drinking together and watch each other get drunk because of the way they act. unfortunately while doing this since the both of them are drunk neither knows what in God's name is going on, until they wake up outside half naked wondering why they're wearing lipstick.

• has said many times "im never drinking again" yet is holding a cup filled with alcohol.

• has pushed Jacob off the side of the jackdaw when he pissed him off.

Jacob🎩

• being evies worst nightmare is his favorite passtime.

• teases evie for having a crush on 2 of his best friends, she tells him if he ever told them his manhood will be missing when he wakes up.

• woke up on a roof one time after drinking escapades with Edward the night before. Edward was on the roof across from him.

• has worn his shoes on the wrong feet all day long to annoy evie, but also was too lazy to put them on the right feet.

• he tries to trip evie whenever the two of them are going up the stairs. jokes on him he actually trips himself.

• is the king of intrusive thoughts.

• 95% of the time he gives into those intrusive thoughts, that small 5% is evie being able to stop them before they happened.

• got a drunk tattoo with Edward once, it's a tramp stamp.

• he's the one filling Edward's cup whenever Edward says he's never drinking again.

• even though he's a jokester and does stupid stuff, he's honestly one of the most trustworthy people the boys know. "he may be an idiot, but he's our idiot" and evies like "go ahead and have him. I should have killed him in the womb"

Desmond🐶

• was adopted by the Auditores when he left the farm.

• when he first started bartending, he broke over half the glasses they had.

• debated on becoming a therapist about a year into bartending, he sure as hell felt like one. might as well get paid the right money for it.

• he doesn't like to drink alcohol very often due to how he's around it so much while he works, and sees how people act. not a favorite pass time, but he does enjoy having a glass of wine with Arno and Ezio.

• he's really good at playing guitar, he and Arno like to do little karaoke sessions, ezio is there but isn't allowed to sing.

• is good at cooking all types of foods, just don't ask him to bake. he's not good with precision so the sweets always come out messed up. leave that to arno.

• wants to get more tattoos, and has tried talking the boys into getting the brotherhood/creed insignia tattooed.

• I see desmond as a piercings kind of guy. what they are, who knows.

• Desmond is the golden retriever friend, everyone loves him.

• Desmond is the epitome of "I didn't want to wake up today, im tired you're lucky I dragged my corpse out of bed today"

[mistydeyes]

Some very American (and asshole) things about Graves

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summary: Phillip Graves is 1. an asshole and 2. very American so here's some headcanons about him.

pairing: Phillip Graves x himself (fucking narcissist)

warnings: SWEARING

a/n: lol I have a love hate relationship with Graves so this was fun to write (like I wanna kiss him but also punch him in his stupid pretty face)

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He was on the Homecoming and Prom Court in high school and he ATE THAT SHIT UP

He also was voted “Most Handsome” in his yearbook

Joined the Army purely because of the glory he saw in Top Gun (he picked a different branch because he couldn’t handle the Navy training)

Was pissed when he saw Glen Powell in Top Gun: Maverick

For weeks his Shadows heard him complain that they based the character off of him

Loves pickle back shots (whiskey followed immediately with pickle juice)—something Price finds revolting

One time, made his Shadows get him Chik-Fil-A because he was craving it abroad

Speaking of which, he’s such a pussy when trying new foods—any spice will immediately put this man on the toliet

Always smothers his food in ranch dressing

Cool ranch Doritos? RANCH. Pizza? EXTRA RANCH. Mac and cheese? RANCH MIXED IN!

“Happy Independence day, you colonizing fuckers!” he exclaims whenever he works with soldiers over the seas (and it just happens to be the 4th of July)

If he’s at home, just know he’ll be chilling in an American flag tank top from Walmart and drinking a Natty Light

Plus he’ll be launching fireworks all night long so hide your dogs

His home? You might ask. Well, picture a mansion tucked away in either Texas or Wyoming with that Western Cowboy aesthetic

Even though he’s very Mr. Americana, he secretly buys French perfumes and Italian suits (but will always stand by a “Made in America” tag)

Just looks like he has a good face routine but DOES NOT moisturize his body (if he does it’s because he’s getting laid and is ashy)

He heats up hot water in the microwave and uses one of those Lipton tea bags Ghost almost shoots him

Definitely competed in one of those “All you can eat hot dog” contests

Also proudly shows off his award winning “Wet T-Shirt contest” photos

“Sweet Home Alabama” can never be played for the 141, they get war flashbacks of Grave’s playing it prior to the Dark Water mission

Confident that he could’ve played a better Ken than Chris Evan’s in the new Barbie movie

Got one of those terrible barbed wire tattoos when he was fresh out of bootcamp to look cool to his new army brothers

Also just know if he wasn’t in the Army, he’d be going to the University of South Carolina and be in one of their top frats

But while in the Army, he used the fact that he would be deployed oversees to bring women (and his Tinder dates) in

Reusable bags? HAHA never for Graves, he doesn’t get why he has to bring one in or buy one for ¢15

Will either buy the stupid bag or carry everything in his arms like an idiot

I also just KNOW this man doesn’t recycle

When he goes to New England, he makes a big fuss on how they can’t make sweet tea

Finally, he just RADIATES Ford F-150 or a Jeep with no doors energy

[tokillamockingbird427]

May i ask for some Merrick hc? He's so sweet, but gets so little love

<3 MERRICK <3 *Slam dunks him like a basketball*

Definitely the guy who pretends to be a hardass but is a massive softie at heart. And it's hardly that. He's just very frank with his words and isn't very affectionate, but he really does love his team. They're everything to him. He's winning if they're doing well, and there's nothing Merrick likes more in life than winning.

Classical music enjoyer.

Pretends he doesn't understand the bear jokes made about him. Absolutely is aware what a "bear" is in regards to the gay subculture. Thinks it's so fucking funny and quietly eats it up every time. He also enjoys that they'll call him "papa bear" sometimes, always teasing and sometimes as a ref to the gay-subculture joke, but it makes him feel nice that they more or less know he's there to protect them.

The rock! Not Dwayne The, but he's the guy on the team everyone can rely on. If there is nothing else to hold onto, there is Merrick. He is aware and very proud of this fact.

Very good cook! Kinda specializes in Italian american food. Really likes pasta.

Incredible guy to have a heart-to-heart with. For someone who seems pissed 98% of the time he's actually very laid back and non-judgmental, so mixed with the stalwart protector vibes and boom: Like every Ghost (Or even just teams they work with for long enough) will recall some convo they had with him that just let the world stop for a moment. Shit is healing magic. Has been in the past and will be in the future a good solid shoulder to cry on. (Just not literally. Please, he has tissues. Spare his shirt.)

Absolutely so adores the boys, even if they don't really realize it. Like even over his other teammates he's known longer, he just adores them to no end. They're Elias's kids, he'll say, he owes it to the man to look after them. But that's not his only reason, and it's hardly a reason at all. Logan and Hesh are his boys. (Yes, even Riley falls into this.) Was crushed after the beach when he realized the consequences of letting the boys go after Rorke. He lost. And Merrick hates nothing more than losing.

Hates mint flavored anything. Even toothpaste. Especially ice cream.

Merrick is unflinchingly loyal to Elias, to the point that he could point at a cliff and say "Jump Tom!" and Merrick would fly off without even a chute to slow him on the way down. It's not something even Rorke got from him, and it only cropped up once Elias took lead of the team... after Caracas.

Actually likes kids. He wouldn't mind having some of his own, but work comes first, so he's alright with just spectating rather than being a parent. Plus, he's not very sure how he'd do with the 24/7 care of a kid. Playing with them and babysitting is one thing, raising a child is another. That's a can of worms he'll leave well alone...

Mama's boy. For life.

A guilty man. He doesn't like to talk about it, unless the situation calls for it (Like during a heart-to-heart.) but it's not that he thinks he's a bad person: He just thinks he could have done better. Related to him liking winning and hating losing... he remembers each tally on either side of the board.

If you wake him up before 10 on a Sunday you better have a damn good reason. Someone dying isn't even a good enough reason. He's slept through base attacks.

Favorite color is teal, and there's a reason for it: His high school sweetheart, whom he dated for all four years and broke up with because he went to basic, ADORED the color. Painted her room the color, her nails every Friday, every notebook she owned was a shade, etc etc. He's not still mopey over her or anything, he just hasn't found a different color he'd care to like as much as teal.

Dog guy. Absolutely pats the shit out of Riley, who cannot get enough of it. He does have a favorite dog breed, American pit bull terriers cus of their big heads, but German shepherds are alright in his book.

Beard care to the max. Oils and combs and that shaving foam pot with the bristle brush. Hesh came to him wanting some advice for his own facial hair and Merrick had never been so ready for anything in his life. Broke that shit down like the birds and bees talk.

Will take the clothes off his back for someone he cares about, will ask them why the fuck they don't have their own?

All of the people he's ever met in his life remain important to him in some way shape or form.

[the-ace-with-spades]

So as a Polish person, I both love and hate Polish! Ice as a headcanon, but my grandma is half-Italian and somehow this manifested into Italian! Mav so here we go (spoiler: there's a lot of food involved):

Mav's mom was first generation Italian born in NYC, lived in Staten Island until she married Mav's dad - her family was from Bologna

Mav, despite the hero worship he had for his dad, was mamma's boy

she could speak Italian well and did so around the house but never taught Mav, and what little Italian he could speak, he forgot once she died and he wasn't around the language

she, however, left him their family cookbook, entirely written in Italian, and so recipes are the only text he can understand without googling a lot

after he retires, he wants to take some Italian lessons with Ice

as mentioned in one of my post's tags, the few words he remembers and are still natural to him are pet names; he calls Ice caro (dear??) like his mom called his dad, mio angelo, tesoro (sweetheart/honey??) and when Bradley was small and he was tired, he'd call him bambino

He also uses sei un raggio di sole (you are a ray of sunshine) sarcastically when Ice is grumpy -- it's a phrase his mom used when he was grumpy as a kid

he couldn't say 'I love you' to Ice for some time so instead, he'd say ti voglio tanto bene and then eventually moved to ti amo and then to English

he actually really likes to cook, he just needs to cook for someone - he was taught that cooking is a sign of love so he likes to cook for their family, but not just for himself

Bradley couldn't eat nutella for years b/c Mav's homemade nocciolata was so much better. Ice could literally kill for his nocciolata-filled bomboloni and ricotta and strawberry jam crostata

Slider often 'visits' them to get their leftovers and had once asked Mav to make him aubergine parmigiana and shrimp risotto as a birthday present

Mav makes Ice tiramisu as a pick-me-up when he needs to leave for long

Mav loves wine but it must be complimentary with the meal

he makes his own pasta and if you're in the kitchen while he's making it, he's going to use you to roll or knead the dough for him

when Carole was getting sick but still staying at home, he'd make batches of ravioli, tortellini, tortelloni, mezzelune, cappelletti -- any stuffed pasta that could be frozen and then quickly boiled -- so Bradley would have dinner when Carole was having a bad day

he refuses to ever make fettuccine alfredo as a rule b/c it's boring and its american, and will never make meatballs to serve with spaghetti, but Ice broke him and he now finally can do the americanized marinara sauce

their house has plenty of jars -- homemade pesto (3-4 different kinds), a mayo-sized jar of oregano, thyme, rosemary, a jar with grana padano in the fridge and a whole shelf filled only with different kinds of oil, cooking wine and vinegar, and a little garden with fresh basil and, once they moved to San Diego, tomatoes. Ice has to remember to water it when Mav is away in the summer

he does the stereotypical arm waving and shoulder shrugging while talking but only when he is either worked up or tired

they also have that one special kind of plates, white with blue and yellow decor and sunflowers on the main dish plate

As a bonus, Polish Ice headcanons:

Ice's mom emigrated during WWII but his dad was second gen born in the US -- she was from Gdansk

he can cook pretty well, especially polish recipes, since he often helped her cook at home

he, however, hates cooking. But he will absolutely stress-make pierogi if he can, usually a huge batch of like 50 or something

he did hand over the polish recipes to Mav - the only thing is, Mav refuses to make bigos for him (b/c he'd need to make his own sauerkraut and it stinks)

he drinks his vodka neat, in a glass, not as shots, adds coke if he's going for a 'light-drinking night'

he occasionally goes to mass at a Polish church - he, usually, doesn't understand most of what's being said but his mom used to take him to one each Sunday and it's now a form of comfort

His favorite childhood meals were placki ziemniaczane (potato pancakes) with mushroom sauce and pyzy (type of dumplings) with plums, which Mav can now make in his sleep

he's never attempting to learn Polish

but he wants to visit Gdansk and the Polish seaside once every few years

[celandeline]

Summer of Like // Farleigh Start x OC (21)

It’s exactly the same as any other day - we are lounging by the lake, Venetia and I on the little wooden dock, soaking up the suns rays, Felix and Oliver on the shore, dipping their toes in the water now and then. It’s exactly the same as any other day, except it’s not. There’s a strange cloud in the air, hanging over us, even though the sky is cloudless. The hole of Farleigh’s absence is tangible.

Venetia is fuming, not quite understandably. “I mean, it's outrageous!”

On the shore, Oliver picks at the grass by his feet. “What actually happened?”

Felix sighs, the same exasperation from earlier. “He sent an email to Sotheby's to say he'd ‘come by’ some Palissy plates. I mean, the idiot. He had to have known Dad went to school with the chairman.” 

An email. I roll my eyes behind my sunglasses, and lean back on my elbows. It’s wild to me how no one thinks it’s out of character at all for Farleigh to be so careless. 

Venetia chimes in. “I mean, talk about biting the hand. Mum and Dad would give him anything he asked for!”

I could never hate Venetia. Never. But the way she’s so easily berating her cousin over something that I know she doesn’t really care about, gets me close to it. I know for a fact that she couldn’t care less about the Palissy plates, I know she’s only mad for the theatrics of it, because pretending to be angry is better than being bored. But it makes me mad. 

Felix is more sympathetic. “Yeah, well, obviously he got sick of asking.”

“That's ridiculous. He's more spoiled than we are!” Venetia says. 

How is it that Farleigh has lived with these people, is related to these people, and they don’t seem to know him at all? In the time that I’ve known him - significantly less than Venetia or Felix - I feel like I learned more about him than either of his cousins seem to have in their whole lives. 

Felix tilts his head. “Come on, V. You have to admit. It's a little bit dark, you know, him having to go to mum and dad with the begging bowl.”

Venetia is unwavering. “Oh boo-fucking-hoo.”

I turn over, to sun my back and to tilt my face away from the conversation, lest Venetia see the anger on my face. 

Felix finally gives in. “Alright, yes, fine, it was incredibly fucking stupid -”

“Guys, guys guys.” Venetia hisses, her eyes on the shore as James and Elspeth as they breeze towards us. Felix dips his head down towards Oliver, quietly saying something to him. A wave of silence descends on the group of us - I’m a little grateful, the conversation was beginning to grate. 

James is as sunny as ever - if I hadn’t seen the ruckus this morning myself, I would have never guessed anything at all had happened. “What a glorious day! I've never known a summer as hot as this one.”

Elspeth drapes herself into a chair on the shore. “Sweltering!”

James titters on. “I think it's hotter than last year. I didn't think that was possible but here we are again! It's hotter than Barbados, apparently. Barbados!”

“I can believe it, darling.” Elspeth says. “I honestly don't think I've ever been hotter in my life.”

It’s like they’ve forgotten about him already. God it makes me mad - and its alienating at the same time. It might be an American thing, it might be an Italian thing, but I could never imagine disavowing one of my cousins from the house. Blood relation means nothing to these people. 

James tucks his hands in his pockets. “I need to check with Robert to make sure that he’s being extra vigilant with the hydrangeas.” 

“Very wise, my love.” Elspeth says. James wanders off, and she sighs, relaxing. “Bliss! Bliss, bliss…”

I shouldn’t be angry. It’s not my place - I’m a guest of Venetia’s, this is not my family, what they do and say to each other is really none of my business. 

Tuning into the little portable radio, Elspeth gasps. “Oh, this song. God, I haven't heard this song in forever! I used to hang out with them all, actually, when I was modeling. Britpop, Blur, Oasis. God the parties!” She sighs. “But then of course "Common People" came out and everybody thought it was written about me. Which was completely mortifying and ridiculous! I mean I barely knew Jarvis.”

Venetia sits up on her elbows. “What?”

“‘She came from Greece. She had a thirst for knowledge.’” Elspeth quotes. “It couldn’t have been me. I’ve never wanted to know anything.”

It’s like these people live on another fucking planet. And at first, it was a novelty, just another part of this vacation, but now it’s almost horrific. 

“God, I wish we didn’t have to go to London.” Elspeth sighs. 

“I didn’t know you were going to London.” Felix turns to look at his mother over his shoulder. 

“Pamela’s funeral.” She says, matter of factly, not a hint of sorrow in her tone. 

Oliver turns to Felix. “Pamela died?”

At least Felix has the decency to sound upset. “Yeah.”

“She’d do anything for attention.” Elspeth says. 

God I can’t wait for the summer to be over. To go back to reality, where people care about each other and work through their problems instead of tossing each other out like trash. I love Venetia - truly and wholly - but I know that she doesn’t feel the same. How could she, when her parents treat people like they’re disposable?

Like she knew I was thinking about her, she turns to me. “‘S a bit sad, don’t you think?”

“Yeah.” I say. 

< previous part | next part >

[firstborn-if]

the ro's

gwendolyn "gwen" arisothole, turned

she/her | trans woman | asexual | lesbian

a deadly witch. she got turned into a vampire after a near death experience. she is black and russian, has (dyed) red hair, sharp cheekbones and various piercings on her eyebrows, nose, mouth and tongue. she wears typical gothic garb, or at the very least, black clothing. she always has various weapons on her person. she is very skilled at magic and uses magical text to communicate with people who do not know vampiric sign language (reluctantly and not something she enjoys). she allies with the vampires over the humans.

matthieu "matt" bidhe, born

he/him | cis man | allosexual | bisexual

a kind, friendly boy although not the brightest and easily distracted. born to high ranking vampire royalty but his parents had been assinated a few years prior. he is half indian and half korean, but grew up mainly in france. he has blue tips on his black hair, chubby cheeks and a larger build. he is typically seen in letterman jackets, tank tops and track suits. he has a piercing on his right ear. his speed is his best skill. he allies with the vampires over the humans.

timothee cirscyd, half-bred

he/him | cis man | graysexual | questioning

an intelligent, calculating boy. he is a half- bred vampire, the rarest and weakest kind. his mother left his dad when she found out he was a vampire and left him. he is matthieu's bodyguard turned best friend. he his shoulder legnth brown hair, often in a bun. he has a chiseled jawline. he is usually wearing sweaters and preppy shirts. he is fairly skinny and despite his fighting capability his intelligence is his best skill. he is conflicted about his allegiance.

luci difynroed, born

she/he/they | genderfluid person | allosexual | pansexual

a very, very flirty person. was born to very rich vampires who had to fight to stay alive back in the war. she is greek and disowned from her parents, and only sees them at grand events. he has blonde hair, down to his waist, freckles and wears lots of make up. she is usually seen in skimper clothing (crop tops, miniskirt and short shorts). charm and seduction are her best skills. they align with the humans over the vampires.

(brutus/britney/briar) erhyobik, born

? | ? | allosexual | omnisexual (closted if m/f)

a spoiled brat. actual hellspawn, the principal's child, and the principal is a very, very rich man. they have pale skin, brown hair and blonde bangs. they wear designer clothes and nothing else, and their colour palette is usually pink. they have no special skills. they align with the vampires over the humans.

sam frodle, turned

? | ? | asexual | aromantic

a nice person. a bit of a pushover. hates their maker and has no (loving) family left. they have thick black curls and is italian american. they have empathy as a special skill, and they align with the humans over the vampires. they usually wear shirts with funny messages on them, and a flower crown that they replace daily.

[more of a queer platonic relationship]

mouse, ?????

they/them | agender person | allosexual | no-one knows

angry, weirdly skilled, definitely hiding something, wears the (non-required) uniform daily. doesn't ally with either side.

professor sky heitnulc, turned

he/she | ? | ? | ?

technically just a shy assistant professor, but covering for his boss while they're indisposed. they can't be much older than you, so the specifics of how they got this job are a mystery. she's a decent teacher, but her wacky outfits leave a lot to be desired. he prefers not to talk about allegiances.

alex lúa, human

? | ? | ? | ?

your childhood best friend. your ex. dead.

[sznofthesticks]

How did YOU get into 911ls rachel? 👀

if you could write one episode of season 5, what would it include? (back atcha)

what is your favorite cuisine and one food in that cuisine you hate; and what is your LEAST favorite cuisine and one food in that cuisine you LOVE

what's your favorite pastime/hobby outside of fandom? (back atcha)

what is your favorite season 👀 is it... winter... *shot*

more photos of cats please! 🥰

How did YOU get into 911ls rachel? 👀

okay so i started with OG 911, i watched from the very beginning when season one aired until season 5 and just became uninteresting (season 5 was... bad...) but rewatched spring 2023 because my sister wanted to watch it. and enjoyed it much more that time around. and then over the summer i was sick and couldnt leave my house for a week so i decided to watch lone star AND MY LIFE WAS FOREVER ALTERED. (i realize im a very late fan pls forgive me)

i was hesitant to watch lone star because some people in the OG 911 fandom are very mean towards this show and it's fans. (i've distanced myself from those people. i adore this show and have met the loveliest people on here because of this show.)

if you could write one episode of season 5, what would it include?

okay this is gonna be all over the place. marjan has a comphet realization and does some self discovery and we get some sapphic rep from her. not saying they have to make her have a girlfriend, but just some realization and being an openly queer, muslim, female firefighter in texas would be EVERYTHING to me.

nancy backstory. i've written a little about my thoughts on her backstory and want to write more. but i say she comes from a rich, influential family, but they're distant to her and put alot of pressure on her growing up and her sister is the only one she stays in contact with.

for tarlos. let them fuck nasty. (okay i realize we can't have that on network television).

realistics. carlos gets injured on the job or while trying to solve gabriel's murder and we get him in a coma in a hospital bed and tk is anxious and crying by his bedside (WE DESERVE IT. CARLOS HAS BEEN IN THAT SPOT TWICE. IT'S TK'S TURN)

what is your favorite cuisine and one food in that cuisine you hate; and what is your LEAST favorite cuisine and one food in that cuisine you LOVE

okay, so fair warning. white woman, who grew up in a small town, and still lives in that small town. and my mom was a terrible cook. im slowly trying to immerse myself in foods from other cultures now that im an adult. but there is not an option for restaurants of anything other than americanized chinese and theres no ethnic grocery options here either, so i try my best. and i feel like finding recipes is so hard. i never know what to look for as a beginner.

i really don't know if this counts as a cuisine, but my aunt always cooked Pennsylvania Dutch foods (which is kind of a derivative of german so that i guess?) but my least favorite of that would be scrapple or pickled beet eggs. both are 🤢

since that probably doesn't count, italian. i love chicken/eggplant parm or lemon risotto (im probably offending so many italians rn)

i can't say i have a least favorite cuisine? i'll say the one i've least delved into. i hope this doesn't upset you, but .... indian ... I KNOW IM SORRY. I REALLY WANT TO TRY MORE THO I NEED TO FIND SOME BEGINNER RECIPES TO TRY AND HOPE I CAN FIND THE INGREDIENTS HERE. but i do loveeeee chicken tikka masala and garlic naan. like the most basic answer. im so so sorry tessa. :(

what's your favorite pastime/hobby outside of fandom?

i love music and everything about it. i go with my sister to live events quite a bit. we love concerts but also going to sporting events. mostly football and baseball!

what is your favorite season 👀 is it... winter... *shot*

hahahah. fall! i miss real fall, like when i was younger. now it just goes from being super hot to cold. not much fall anymore. :( as much as i hate living in a rural area, its beautiful here in the fall <3

more photos of cats please! 🥰

okay it’s mostly pepper because she’s attached at my hip and puffy is more independent lol

[luwritesomething]

JASON TODD HEADCANONS!!

love of my life!!!! he deserves so much love so here i am, ready to provide.  these are my headcanons and i will admit NO hate towards them. also if you have any headcanon of your own for jason then comment because i might like it and add it to mines. 

requests are open! hit that anon button and tell me your idea!

warnings: probably swearing, and slight mentions of his death. also this hasn’t been proof-read so yeah, read at your own risk.

i’ve always headcanoned jason todd as italian american, although i can see him as latino too (i just don’t like the negative connotations that follow because he’s usuallt headcanoned as latino because anger)

definitely not because of harmful stereotypes but because i can see jason’s grandparents being part of that italian population that migrated to usa to follow the american dream and ended up living the american nightmare.

not the godfather-like with the mafia, but with italians barely surviving in the misery of america (which feats jason’s backstory).

also i headcanon his grandmother as a great cook and comfort-person to him.

jason learned to cook thanks to his grandmother and alfred, but his best dish is a lasagna recipe he learned from his grandmother.

this is my subtle way of telling you jason is a great cook. that’s canon, though. 

he doesn’t think too much about his sexual orientation a lot. jason doesn’t want to tie himself to an etiquette, that would bother him.

jason has had a polyamorus relationship with kori and roy. it was pretty healthy, tbh, but it’s over now.

he doesn’t really ‘do dating’. occasionally, one night stands are alright, but jason isn’t really into those either. he’s sure that whenever he meets someone that is meant to be and falls in love, he’ll handle it well.

he won’t because he self-sabotages and doesn’t leet people in, but if it’s really really meant to be he will eventually overcome it.

curses a lot. probably also in front of kids, and gets nervous when the kids repeat those words.

however, jason actually is very good with kids. he’s the babysitter of his shitty neighborhood, and kids love him.

jason doesn’t drink alcohol like ever. he has seen (bc of his parents) what addiction looks like and feels like and he prefers to leave himself out of it.

Child Protector™.

raging feminist and all for equality and fairness.

he smokes a big amount. just becayse, he has no real reason to do so. (he doesn’t consider smoking an addiction. anyways)

jason is the Best Neighbor™.

he loves his siblings equally, he just has a different relationship with each one. dick is his bro, tim is his smartass, damian is his little monster brother, duke is his buddy, steph is his fun sister and cass is his chill sister.

i’m kidding, his favorite is cass.

bookworm. (CANON)

loves classic. his favorite is... lolz he doesn’t even know himself, how would i know?

secretely enjoys ballet and keeps all the tickets of the ballets he has gone to.

damian found out about this (^^) and jason bribed him with a stray cat that kept coming around his apartment for his silence.

now damian has a play date every thursday at five at jason’s with the stray cat, because damian and jason know better than just snatch a stray cat.

anyways,,

sleeps either butt-naked or with sweatpants, no boxers. 

claims he hates rom-coms.

actually loves them, they give him comfort and fuzzy feelings.

jason congratulates alfred every year on father’s day (and it always brings alfred to tears when he’s alone).

listen to me !! jason has READING GLASSES !!!!!!!!!!

okay.

doesn’t wear same color socks.

lack of self-care. dick or stephanie will randomely swing by his place from month to month to do face masks and drink water. 

sometimes jason forgets to shave and doesn’t notice unless someone tells him.

probably wanted to own a water bed as a kid.

he looks even hotter with his reading glasses.

i’m obssesed okay !!!

his favorite justice league member is wonder woman and has merchandising to prove it.

jason has gone to two lady gaga’s concerts. one dragged by dick, other by himself. 

he loves blankets. being under a blanket, no matter the reason, will always be comforting for him.

hates finger guns.

jason doesn’t handle the heat well. which means he handles it horribly and gets stupidly annoying.

cheesy and cocky, but actually an introvert. what can i say, he’s complicated.

clowns creep him out. speaks for itself.

does great impressions of the batfam.

he doesn’t do alfred or cass, though.

likes animals. not as much as damian, but still.

doesn’t use crowbars. no, like, i refuse. nope.

swears he doesn’t smoke.

three seconds rule apologist. i mean, he lived in the streets, guys.

steph did his nails once. he enjoyed it, 7/10, would do it again.

his favorite sibling to tease is damian, closely followed by tim.

has called the fucking bat-cow ‘meat’.

damian punched him for it.

works out too much for his own good, but calls it self-care.

tea >>> coffee. fight him on this, he’ll chew on your bones.

has read the silmarillion, acts like he understood it. 

actually likes galas. 

in those he only has two types of conversations: hypothetical ‘what if’ moral questions to see if someone has the same concept as justice as him and/or recommending books (mostly classics)

bruce has to drag him away from people when he gets annoying with those two types of conversations (CANON, see batman: wayne family adventures.)

big wuthering heights apologist & enjoyer.

damian actually listens to jason’s book recs and gives him feedback about them. it’s their bonding activity. 

jason has a bonding activity with everyone from the batfam.

only writes with red pen.

would make a great team with deadpool, fight me on this.

makes a lot of ‘your mom’ jokes because it infuriates tim.

types text with no caps, emojis and no abbreviations. he uses emojis a lot, he’s a menace.

has been kicked out of the wayne family chat numerous times for innaporpiate behavior aka spamming, cursing, spamming with emojis and other little shenanigans.

he barely listens to music, but if he did, it would be rock, alternative... you know, all the jazzy stuff.

he needs love, he told me himself.

also his love language is cooking and physical contact because he’s touch starved (he also told me himself)

[forthegothicheroine]

One of my favorite negative reviews

I can’t find a full text of it online, so I’m going to copy out some big chunks of Stephen Hunter’s retrospective on Gone with the Wind, which apparently resulted in lots of angry letters to the editor.

Long, stupid, ugly and, alas, back for the sixth time (in theaters, innumerable television showings have preceded this rerelease), it is probably the most beloved bad movie of all time, as its adjusted box office gross of $5 billion makes clear. If you love it, that is fine; but don’t confuse its gooeyness, its spiritual ugliness, its solemn self-importance, with either art or craft, for it boasts none of the former and only a bit of the latter. It is one of the least remarkable films of that most remarkable of American movie years, 1939. In fact, far from being one of the greatest American films ever made, I make it merely the twenty-eighth best film of 1939! It may not even have been the best movie that opened on December 15, 1939! It is overrated, overlong, and overdue for oblivion.

Of the various characters and actors:

It’s profoundly misogynistic...the secret pleasure of the film is watching Scarlett O’Hara being punished for the sin of selfhood. The movie delights in her crucifixion, even to the point of conjuring the death of a child as apt punishment for her ambitions. Her sin, really, is the male sin: the pride which goeth before the fall...

Leslie Howard was a great actor and a brave man, who raced home to join his unit when World War II broke out, thereby missing the famous December Atlanta premiere. He was killed in 1943 when the Nazis shot down a plane he was in. Let us lament him as we lament all the men who gave their lives to stop that evil. That said, the truth remains that on screen, he was a feathery creature, best cast as the foil to Bogart’s brutish Duke Mantee in The Petrified Forest, where his cathedral-abutment cheekbones gave him the look of an alabaster saint in the wall of an Italian church. But he was about as believable as a sexual object as he would have been as Duke Mantee...

The wondrous Olivia de Havilland was an actress of spunk and pizazz, and she gave as good as she got, even across from such hammy scene stealers as her longtime costar Flynn. But she, too, is trashed by Gone with the Wind as sugary Melanie Wilkes, a character of such selfless sweetness she could give Santa Claus a toothache.

Of the film as art:

Too much spectacle, not enough action. David O. Selznick, who produced the film and rode it to immortality, didn’t understand the difference between the two. Thus the film has a fabulous but inert look to it; the story is rarely expressed in action but only in diorama-like scenes. It is curiously flat and unexciting. Even the burning of Atlanta lacks dynamism and danger; it’s just a dapple of flickering orange filling the screen without the power and hunger of a real fire. And the movie’s most famous shot- the camera pulling back to reveal Scarlett in a rail yard of thousands of bleeding, tattered Confederate soldiers- makes exactly the wrong point. It seems to be suggesting that Scarlett has begun to understand that the war is much bigger than she is. And yet she never changes. The shot means nothing in terms of character; it’s an editorial aside that really misleads us.

Of the film’s message:

From its opening credits, which characterize the South as a lost land of lords and ladies, to its final images of Tara nestling among the Georgia dogwood, the movie buys into a myth that completely robs the region of its truth. Love it or hate it, it’s a land (as Faulkner knew) in which the nobility of its heroism lived side by side with the ugliness of its Original Sin: slavery. I’m not attacking the South here, just Margaret Michell and Selznick’s version of it. Other movies or 1939 were beginning to find the courage to express some subtle ideas. One of them was John Ford’s Young Mr. Lincoln.

Of its comparison to other 1939 movies:

I found 797 titles from the year 1939, had seen fewer than a tenth of them, and even on that small list there were 27 that struck me as fundamentally better than Gone with the Wind, movies that I would watch again with utter delight. They are: Allegheny Uprising, Another Thin Man, Babes in Arms, Beau Geste, Confessions of a Nazi Spy, Dark Victory, Dodge City, Drums Along the Mohawk, Golden Boy, Gunga Din, Juarez, The Light that Failed, Made for Each Other, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Ninotchka, Of Mice and Men, The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex, The Real Glory, The Roaring Twenties, Stagecoach, The Story of Alexander Graham Bell, The Three Musketeers, Union Pacific, The Wizard of Oz, The Women, Wuthering Heights, and Young Mr. Lincoln.

Dammit, my dear, I’m just being frank.

[flcgod]

𓏲  *   ( romee strijd, cis female, she/her, paris hilton + hailey bieber cc  )   ⸺   pictures of leonora elsabeth clemonte the twenty eight year old hotel heiress/model/media personality, have been showing up all over my feed, and considering the last time they were #trending, it was due to having an affair with another celebrity — i’m not likely to unfollow anytime soon. with their christian dior saddle bag and pumps matched with jacquemus laurier dress, they’ve managed to garner a reputation for being more captivating than vain. their critics say that they’re more manipulative than benevolent when they aren’t too busy focusing on their blowdried bouncy hair, dewy skin, day drinking, impulsive shopping sprees, pretending to be busy to have a spa day instead of going out. reputation.com has taken to calling them london tipton in order to avoid a lawsuit ( again ). 

*    ◟ stats .

full name : leonora elsabeth clemente nicknames : goes prominently as lena birthplace : monte carlo , monaco . current residence : manhattan , nyc . sexual orientation : heterosexual / heteroromantic nationality : dual ( both american & monégasque ) languages spoken : french (  fluent  ) , english ( fluent ) , italian ( basic )  occupation :  hotel heiress , model , media personality career claim : hailey bieber , paris hilton muse inspo :  serena van der woodsen ( gossip girl ) , gabrielle solis ( desperate housewives ) , lauren conrad ( laguna beach ) , elle woods ( legally blonde ) , allison hamilton ( the notebook ) , hanna marin ( pretty little liars ) , cher horowitz ( clueless ) , rachel green ( friends ) , tahani al jamil ( the good place ) positive traits : captivating , confident , loyal ,  passionate , coquettish , benevolent , affectionate, authentic &   courageous negative traits : manipulative , stubborn , vain , insecure , abrasive , possessive , hypocritical &  dramatic aesthetic : plumping lip gloss , dewy skin , blowdried bouncy hair , satin sheets , matte nail polish , binge watching romcoms whenever upset , day drinking , chanel eau tendre perfume sprayed at the nape of her neck , impulsive shopping sprees , counting the number of strokes while brushing hair every night , pretending to be busy with work to have a spa day instead of going out , rose petals scattered in a hot bath .

*    ◟ personality .

generally speaking ,  lena is a v captivating person . she can light up any room she walks into with her contagious smile  . most people would peg her for having a facade but tbh unless directly provoked she truly is nice ! 

due to her family’s surname  &  connections she pulled to start up her own skincare & haircare brand , lena gets a lot of hate. like A LOT. either it coming from other brand owners or simply the online haters , they all think she tries half as hard as the other women in the industry aka that she didn’t deserve what she has now  &  it definitely left a mark on her . only those who are actually close to her personally know how hard she actually works  &  the devotion , care and time she puts in her products .

when it  comes to her friends , she’s extremely loyal  &   9/10 times would do absolutely anything for them . like , you need a place to stay ?  you need money ?  you need someone to pick your drunk ass at 4am ?  she’s your girl . but at the same time if you did something like  EXTREMELY  bad to tarnish the love  &  care she has for you…. oh boy . let’s just say she can hold a grudge for years  &  is resentful as hell .

is extremely coquettish  &  a big attention ho™ .

loves beautiful things ( read: vain ) including herself !  you can catch her taking selfies everywhere she goes or spending lots of time pampering  &  showering herself with beautiful clothes , accessories  &  other  “ beauty accouterments “  that catch her eye .

deep down , she truly  wants to find that ridiculous , inconvenient , consuming , can’t-live-without-each-other love that her parents had . she’s the ultimate romantic  & won’t settle for less but in truth , she’s known for being flighty af ?   let’s just say that the only difference between her  &  taylor swift is that she doesn’t write songs about her exes lmao  &   can bounce quicker than you can blink if she sees  one  red flag .

overall lena really isn’t the type to casually date . like she wants to cook you dinner , snuggle , go on romantic trips , surprise you with your favorite things , be your best friend  &  hold your hand all the time not wait for 1.75 hours for a text back .

so in retrospect she seems like the perf gf to have, right ?  wellllllllll…. in most aspects , yes , because she would put you 1st for sure  &  probably slap a bitch in your name but…. she can also get extremely possessive  &  jealous .  it comes off small but the longer she’s with someone the more she gets like  “ why are you talking to her “  “ let me see your phone “  “ don’t you lie to me ! !  “  “ DARLING I’M A  NIGHTMARE DRESSED LIKE A DAYDREAM ! !  “  lord have mercy .

says she hates gossip but….. LOVES GOSSIP .

says she doesn’t manipulate people into getting things her way…. BUT DOES.

says she doesn’t have grudges but…. TENDS TO THEM LIKE LITTLE PETS.

says she’s not dramatic while throwing rose petals around , dressed in evening wear during the day , draping herself across the piano …. SHE’S DRAMATIC . 

says she’s dehydrated and….. HAS A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE . 

　                    ˚ detailed biography  .  ˚ wanted connections  .   ˚ pinterest .    ˚ penthouse tour .  　

[okaystoptellingmetomakeanaccount]

LESSER KNOWN STORIES ANY MAGICA FAN SHOULD READ I THINK

NO ROSA NO BARKS NO ARTIBANI

ONLY LESSER KNOWN COMICS

some scarpa will slip in im afraid this is difficult okay.

Thanks btw soony for the inspiration this is actually really fun

One of the earliest Magica stories, this one is from 1969. One of the most creative out there, especially for being such an early one. Also there’s a scene where Magica goes all scarface (i think, i have never watched that stuff i just heard he goes all shooty shoot) and thats quite amusing.

Really sweet comic. Everyone who only knows Magica from ducktales should read this comic to understand how much more complicated her character is in the original comics. It does such a great job at showing the other facets of her character in such a simple way. Don’t listen to the inducks review of m3gr1ml0ck (he’s almost always super based but not this time). Listen to the inducks review of Appie Aap (who is always based because he’s Appie Aap).

Kind of overrated in my opinion but Sarda’s characterization is PERFECTION. Story is average asf (though maybe i need to reread it) but all the little things are so incredibly well done. Molinari is great too of course.

It’s one of the recent more well known comics yeah okay but its mostly known because people thought Vian thought Etna was the Vesuvius (which they solved with a simple dialogue change in the German translation because it really was not that complicated guys) and it should be known for being a great comic instead. One day I will write a really long review about why it’s a masterpiece. Maybe. It perfectly manages to bring back the spirit of the Sarda written comics without some of the annoying quirks of his writing and with the fact that Bruno Enna is writing now and I love Bruno Enna guys robophobia is a masterpiece last hunt is a masterpiece i love bruno enna-

Magica really cares a lot about Ratface. You should read it.

Magica really cates about Ratface part 2. These two comics aren’t must reads but they’re good to help understand Magica and Ratface their relationship. (In italian comics at least. They seem to hate each other sometimes in Denmark)

Talking about Danish stories. Here. (Written by an American and drawn by a Dutchie. Egmont knows no borders) It IS quite well known, but tumblr here seems mostly familiar with Italian comics and this story has never been published in Italy, so I still think it deserves a mention. I was never a big fan of it, but all the inducksers seem to like it and i cant ignore its significance. So here it is i would still recommend.

Magica tells about her ancestor and her ancestor is lovely.

Magica talks about her ancestor and her ancestor is lovely part 2. (these ARE must reads!)

Magica turns herself into a floppy disk and everything you expect to happen happens. You want a typical fun but average Dutch comic? Then i’d recommend this one.

(I wanted to recommend another comic here but tumblr refuses to save it and ive been trying for what feels like hours so im giving up) (for some reason it did save at least this)

I really wanted to suggest more Danish stories but i have either not read them, theyre a gal for gladstone (aka not not well known) or theyre bad.

[owmylasagna-blog]

Hi! Edd AND Eddy 5, 12, 14, 25 :3

Thanks!! Sorry I wrote up an entire long answer and then uuuhhh my phone died 🤡 so let’s do this again!

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Not necessarily the songs of all time but recently it’s been

Edd:

Eddy:

And hell why not shipping music:

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Quickly, let me preface this section with the fact that I myself am white.

From the jump I’ve always thought Edd was not white, or mixed race, and had parents that were either first or second gen immigrants. And that it’s not very apparent in canon because his family assimilated really hard. I always felt this helped to explain a bit of his cultural sensitivities while at the same time adding some more depth to the intergenerational dynamics. Previously I’d imagined him as Filipino/white and more recently I’ve written him as mestizo/korean/white. I like seeing lots of other takes on this in the fandom throughout the years, like somewhat recently eddbedandeddy’s post that he could be MENA like his VA or gettingfrilly mentioning they see him as racially ambiguous. Recently the phrase “ancestral fruitcake” has been incessantly plaguing my mind (‘Tis the season/ is or is this not a hilarious stand in for the f-word slur please discuss among yourselves people) but that to me indicates that at least one line of his family is hwite.

Keeping on theme, I really cannot resist coding Eddy’s family as stereotypically dysfunctional Italian American (and let me elaborate on my opening statement by stating this identity IS my circus my monkeys 🙈). Memelzebub described his parents as Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman in the movie Matilda and I agree hard on that!

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Okay I looooove playing dress up with these guys so let’s get into it. I envision these more as they get into their teens and older.

Edd: a bit of grandpa (chunky thrifted sweaters), casual 90’s/00’s streetwear (long sleeve quarter zips, sneakers), specialized outdoorsy gear (like 100 pocket cargo pants, swishy pull over rain jackets) and he’s always kinda cold (puffer vests, layers, etc) uhhh and he still wears outrageously colored and patterned socks. I like to imagine he’d expand his hat selection. He prefers to dress practically and comfortably.

Eddy: SO MUCH STYLE POTENTIAL. He likes fashion so I could see him playing up lots of styles and having lots of phases through his teens and into adulthood. Other than 70s inspired fashion, I’d be lying if I didn’t shout out butch lesbians as a fashion inspiration. In high school I often imagine him wearing more casual 00’s clothing - baggy jeans and long jorts and skater sneakers and polos and bowler shirts. And then as he gets older he leans into more “slutty 70s” men’s fashion. I think for loungewear he has a huge selection of dramatic robes and kaftans like some old Hollywood diva.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Edd: idk this is classic but I had a crush on him as a kid. What can I say. Now I don’t have a crush on him but find him incredibly interesting and complex and fun to think about (: I think I always liked that he was a big nerd with sort of odd interests because I related to it. Now I relate most to his unmedicated anxiety 🙃

Eddy: also classic response, I found him grating and annoying during the original air time. But I didn’t flat out hate him or anything. I found his voice interesting and he was funny! Now I love love love Eddy. I only watched BPS in like 2013 and man did that really shift things for me in terms of being emotionally invested in this pink cube. What a guy!

[man-moth-hook-hand]

What Mythical Creature are they?

Masterlist

Resourcess: Dwayne: Sisiutl David: Gremlin Marko: Byssus Galeto/Bisso Galetos Paul: Näcken

Dwayne: Sisitul (Native American)

Since Billy Wirth is Native, I thought researching Native American creatures was the best option. I chose the Sisiutl since it's not depicted as evil and instead a protector. I feel like this is similar to Dwayne's relationship with Laddie. Personally, I believe that Dwayne is the least "evil" of the boys, he's just more into going with the flow when finding a meal instead of toying with them. During the movie, he also neve outright attacks anyone except Sam, at the end of the movie. This can relate back to the Sisiutl being protectors since Dwayne was protecting his family.

The Kwakwaka'wakw tribe depicts the Sisiutl as a tri-headed serpent, with two snake heads on either side of a human one in the middle. Shaman believed its blood would transfer healing magic into a person. Warriors adorned the image for protection, believing that the blood would make them invincible in battle. Sometimes, the faces of the Sisiutl were carved into entrances or canoes to ward off evil spirits. Others believed that mica, the mineral found in soil and beaches, were the scales of the Sisiutl.

David: Gremlin (British/American)

David is a nasty little Gremlin throughout the film. These creatures are described as mischievous and hate the light, which is fitting for David. He is the only reason that the movie happened, without him creating these mischievous problems, Micheal would've never met Star or had to help kill Max. Also, the aversion to light is pretty aligned with Vampires. David is definitely the type to push everything three inches to the left so that someone bumps into everything.

Gremlins were seen in mainstream culture around the beginning of the early 20th century. Originally, they were blamed for the malfunctions in aircraft and later on in other machinery. There was a large prominence of "Gremlins" during WWII in posters regarding safety in the workplace. Captions such as "Gremlins LOVE to pitch things at your eyes," "Gremlins are floor greasers," and "Gremlins will push you around. Look where you're going," warned the workers about the consequences of not cleaning or doing their job properly.

Marko: Byssus Galetus (Italian)

I chose a creature from Italian folklore since I headcanon that Marko is Italian. A creator who I don't remember the name of originally headcanons him and Italian and I agree. The Byssus Galetus is a spiteful creature hailing from the Veronese Valleys in Verona, Italy. The creature has the head and body of a rooster (galetus) with wings full of thorns and a snake's tail (byssus). I chose this for Marko since they're born from spite and live that way. You cannot tell me that Marko would not go out of his way to be full of hatred and spite in his life and afterlife. Also, Marko is seen playing with pigeons in the movie, which in my mind, help connect him to the Byssus Galetus because it's half chicken.

While they're small creatures, the Byssus Galetus is an incredibly poisonous creature. They wander into houses at night and kill people with their toxic breath. The gaze of the creature can dry out and kill plants, along with contaminating water. It's said that the Byssus Galetus is laid by an elderly rooster and hatched by a snake or toad for nine years. If a Byssus Galetus sees it's own image it dies.

Paul: Näcken/Strömkarl (Swedish)

While Brooke McCarter isn't Swedish, I headcanon that Paul is. He's tall, blond, and it literally built like a Viking. The Näcken are male water spirit found by lakes, streams, or other bodies of water. They play enchanting music to lure their victims to the water and drown them. However, some believe that the water spirits are harmless and if approached properly, teach a musician to play perfectly. The Näcken come mostly from Germanic and Scandinavian folklore.

I chose the Näcken for Paul since most media depicts Paul with a rockbox or some other instance of music. If you didn't know, Brooke McCarter is a composer and has multiple songs and is listed as the composer for the documentary America the Violent. I headcanon that Paul is a really good singer and has learned to play instruments throughout the years, which leads to his love of music.

[discountdemonwarehouse]

WIP Whenever

I was tagged by the wonderful @copias-sewer-rat.

This is a scene from a future fic because I'm too early in the next chapter of Missionary Man to have anything worth sharing, so this excerpt may change as it gets written. You may have seen me posting the artwork I commissioned of my OC Quinn with young Terzo (and Omega), and this is a scene from that fic. It doesn't have a name yet.

For some context, at this point Quinn and Terzo would be in their 20s.

Excerpt below the cut!

            Quinn watched the sky get lighter as false dawn approached, getting ready to head back to the Ministry to go to bed. She straightened after fixing the sock slipping in her boot, leaning against the wooden fence. Terzo appeared from seemingly nowhere as if sensing her departure, and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder with a sigh. “You smell like sex and beer,” she said dryly, nose wrinkling. “Signs of a decent night,” he muttered, laughing slightly. “I’m surprised you stayed this long.” “I thought of leaving a few times, and each time someone started a conversation.” “Oh, Miss Popular!” “Not really; it was just interesting enough to not want to leave at that point.” He made a humming noise deep in his throat, and she leaned her head on his. “I may have fucked too many people tonight.” “Aw, does poor salsicciotto have a sore cock?” Quinn taunted. She could feel his body straighten as his attitude sobered and got serious. “Why am I like this?” “Because you’re emotionally stunted and use sex as a coping mechanism for the love you were denied as a youth?” “Ouch. Hold the punches at least a little, hm?” She reached her hand up and patted his cheek before letting her hand rest on his neck. “We should head back up,” he mumbled. “I have a meeting in a few hours. Sleep in my room or yours?” “You’re not letting me sleep alone either way, are you?” He made a noise in the affirmative. “Well, your bed is more comfortable.” “Perks of being the Papa’s son,” he said wryly. “Come on.” Terzo led her by the hand across the dewy grass away from the woods, as they’d done numerous times since childhood. Quinn yawned as she waited for him to unlock his door, then pushed past him, kicking off her boots. “Shower before you come to bed; I hate when you smell like other women.” “You know you’re bossy for someone I’m not involved with.” “Shut up. I’m your soulmate, remember? ‘Amici del cuore’ I think you called it?” “Yes, yes, my ‘bosom buddy,’ as you Americans say,” he responded, rolling his eyes. “I have never once used that term,” she retorted, throwing her jacket onto the sofa. “You know where your pajamas are,” Terzo called as he disappeared into the bathroom. Quinn heard the water running as she made her way into the bedroom, pulling her sleep shorts and tank top from the dresser. Settling into the bed, she was mostly asleep when Terzo finally slipped into the bed in a clean pair of boxers. He pressed himself against her, his face in her neck, an arm possessively thrown over her like a teddy bear he needed to keep close. “Ugh, you’re damp!” “There’s no pleasing you, tesoro, do you know that?” “Stop it!” she shrieked as he rubbed his damp hair on her neck, trying not to laugh. Terzo settled again, resuming his possessive hold. Quinn closed her eyes again, exhaling as his warmth surrounded her. She’d been his safe space since childhood, the person he could depend on. His best friend. And he had been hers, as much as he was able to. “Fuck, we’re codependent,” she muttered darkly, pushing her own thoughts away. He made a noise, then whispered, “Ti amo soprattutto, mio tesoro nascosto.”

~_~_~_~

Italian: salsicciotto -> little sausage

Tesoro -> treasure

Ti amo soprattutto, mio tesoro nascosto -> I love you above all, my hidden treasure