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#its actually crazy since its my old stuff + my moms + my sisters
deathbypufferfish · 2 years
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About to watch always sunny while looking through old barbie stuff.
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egglantine23 · 11 months
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Titans part 4
Wow it’s been a while with this one! I wanted to sort of lay out a few good ideas for the first season of titans since I never touched it in my first posts. So without further ado here it is:
Let’s get this out of the way nightwing is nightwing from the very beginning no stupid still robin stuff he is nightwing and he moved out of Bruce’s manner.
Cory’s memory loss is fine but I want badass alien star so she is shipwrecked on earth and hiding from her crazy sister
Raven can keep her name for a civilian identity but she goes by her nickname raven, she stays the depressed goth kid who witnessed her moms murder.
And gar is mostly fine but I want to add some things to him since I only really remembering him being very bland, first he’s the theater kid, you don’t have to lie about green hair in theater dyed hair is the norm, but i don’t know if I want to put him in tech or as a actor. Nope great idea he’s in tech which makes him a jack of all traits, the April has a crane license in rottmnt.
Now I of course will now be adding the wonderful and amazing victor stone aka cyborg! Man I missed this guy, he was probably my favorite character in the animated show. He plays high school football and is friends with gar and knows about gars powers, he also knows raven from poetry club
In titans they also introduced Jason Todd as a recurring character but I don’t like that so we will push him to later
Time for PLOT!!!!
In the beginning not much will change for raven and dick, her mom still dies and dick is trying to help her get to a safe place and there being chased by something evil like demons that dick has been searching for for months
Now the deviations gar and victor and walking home from school and they are just about to meet up with victors dad, dr. Stone at his job when Cory’s ship crashes and victor gets caught in the blast, the group rushes him inside and dr. Stone has them bring him to his lab, cyborg is here!
Raven and dick also witness the crash and rush over to help by this time they where able to shake the demons but the crash makes them come back, they are getting destroyed by these demons when star sees them and comes out to help, cyborg is still processing what just happened with his dad and gar, somehow they end up coming to the conclusion that since gar and his family knows a lot about being an outsider cyborg might stay with them a while, we have a heartfelt scene with cyborg and his dad before
Star crashes into the window after being thrown by the demons!
Star gave the group an upper hand but after a while it wasn’t enough, gar and cyborg now join and we get a epic fighting as a team battle
Afterwords dr. Stone comes out to see if his son is ok and recognizes dick from the many times he has worked with Batman, and we have a catch up scene with the group and they realize that there are going to be a lot more demons and someone need to stop them this transitions into the titans tower and the team is now formed.
This is rather a two part episode with more plot I didn’t go over or above is part 1 and below is part 2
Now next episode
Titans tower is an old Wayne building that is sadly unprepared for its new job so dick calls Alfred, no not Bruce he’s still mad at Bruce for whatever reason, Alfred can’t make it so he sends Jason to drop of the stuff instead.
Now time for Jason Todd, now you might ask oh egglantine how will you integrate Jason one of your favorite Battfam members into the story?
I won’t
Yea I love the guy but this is titans and in order to avoid the transition into a Batman show Jason Todd will not be a recurring character. There will be cameos but any story that involves him will be a dick Grayson storyline.
I actually have the idea that as the show progresses the Batfam will be more comic relief or a running gag of no one knows how many siblings dick actually has and dick never tells
*titans in a later season calling batcave* Dick: hi Jason! Gar: wait Jason!! I thought he was dead!!! Jason eating a bagel: yea I’ve been good for like 6 years now Dick: that time you tried to kill us was pretty crazy though 😊 Titans: 😦
This is getting long enough and I have homework so I will see you next time! Also I am more than happy to answer any questions inbox should be open!
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mrtmdpro · 2 years
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It’s time to say goodbye to my favorite city. Not for long tho, but still, it’s an international flight.
I took a few hard minutes to choose what to bring with me on the flight. The music is recommended by my girl, so it’s easy, but the reading material…hard. At last I took “Le petit prince” with me. Now, this is an old book, which I first read when I was 10 or so. Been a long while since then. I can hardly remember the details of the book, just that it is a book for children and all.
Holy shit. How wrong was I.
My fucking god. The book hit me like a truck, straight isekai-ed me back to the past.
The book describes exactly the person that I have become. A fucking adult, with its monetary value and all that. A person who lost his “childish” imaginations and can now only measure stuffs in numbers and values.
What went wrong along the way?
This brings me back to a discussion that I exchanged with my girl’s ma. Basically her younger sister’s been very stressed. The fucking kid is 12 years old, and is already studying some 12 hours a day. What the fuck is that?
I told her to back it off a little. To “let children be children”. Her mom got a little sussy at first, but then agreed that she will find a way. I feel poor for the souls of those kids.
After all, where are we heading? The book reminds me of a time where I can describe a house using its declarations, colors and patterns. When “a house with floral tiles and beautifully decorated edges and corners” actually meant a thing. Now it’s all fucking numbers. “Oh that house? That is a big ass house, 1 million dollars” my fucking god what have I become?
That is not all. The book teaches me, again, how to feel. Why should we all rush? What is a few minutes of “free time” can do to us? So we can spend time procrastinating on some fucking TikTok bullshits? Life is about enjoying the moments. The moments of the first sunlight, where I am writing those lines, are one of such.
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And why is everything so money-oriented? Why do we have to keep on making more and more money? Where is the time to enjoy the life that we live? The times with family and friends? Where is it? People keep on rushing to work, thinking they will achieve a thing in the end. But then they look back and think, damn, all that time…wasted. Nobody want to enjoy the moment anymore. Everything is rushed, faster and faster. Makes people crazy.
And another lesson for myself: learn to let go. The beauty of life is that everything is temporary. “The beauty of a flower lies in its ability to wilt” I usually tell people, but I myself forget that. The first love is always beautiful, because it always end. And in the process, we learn to experience, learn to move on.
The final lesson: “the eyes are blinded. Always feel with your heart.” This phrase, I usually say to my girl when we are cuddling. I want to feel her love when the lights are out, so that the visual won’t ruin our love. I myself never understood why I liked it that way. But now I know, all thanks to this book. It is because in the process of losing visual, we gain something else. We gain the ability to feel the world, with our heart. We hear things better. We can feel better. I couldn’t see her face, but I can always feel her heart beating next to mine. That is the experience that I love.
After all, I’m just a grown-up kid.
I don’t recognize myself anymore. First time I’ve ever cried so hard on a plane. Because of a book “for children”. I have changed so much that I hardly recognize myself anymore.
Maybe this whole article is for the inner child of me. He loves to feel. To live the world with the heart. I shall do as such.
Oh and of course, must not forget my girl. So here goes:
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drewoclock · 8 months
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Dear 24-Year-Old Drew
Originally published September 1st, 2018
It’s me: Drew from eighth grade.  Do you remember me?  I really hope you do because if not, something seriously traumatic must have happened to you.  I hope you weren’t made brain dead in a horse accident or something.  You stay away from horses, you hear?
Anyways, it’s crazy to think that it’s been eleven years, huh?  Wow.  You’re definetely not going through puberty at this point (phew!)  I don’t have my magic future seeing goggle with me today and I promise I’ll bring them next time but for now I’m just gonna have to guess what you must be like.
Now I know that right now I’m kind of on the small side, but as you know I’ve definetely been crossing my fingers that your going to be tall and get the genes from our mom’s side of the family.  I hope you’re at least over five foot nine but if you’re five foot ten or eleven, that is really great.  That is a good attractive height.  Also, I’m sure you had braces on and off by now and you have very good teeth.  It would be really cool if you were muscular.  I think you could be.  I’m in okay shape right now and as long as I don’t get morbidly obese, I really think you just might be muscular right now.
I dunno if you’re married but I wouldn’t be upset if you are.  I love my girlfriend right now and if we get married (which I would be super okay with) then we would probably be married by now, you know?  So tell me if your’re still with our girlfriend (or wife!)  I kinda don’t even wanna think about what it would be like if we weren’t’ still dating because that’s just...really sad.  But okay, if for some reaosn something happens, I hope that you’ve at least had a lot of girlfriends, or that you have another girlfriend you’ve been dating for a long time.  I mean, at this point I think you should be in a serious relationship with someone super hot.
Oh yeah, and I guess I should ask if we still like the same kinda girls.  We probably do.
It’s hard to even know where you would be at right now but I would have to guess you’re in California doing all kinds of art.  By now it’s been over a decade and you have to be a total master at all the art stuff you do.  You must be an amazing painter, and an expert filmmaker, and a total pro at acting.  And I hope you learned another isntrument besides the viola, preferbly a whole bunch of them, and it’d be so cool if you had a band to make all the music we’ve had in our head, especially this year!  I bet you wrote a lot more music since though.  You’ve probably acted in big movies.  I dunno if you’re a super celebrity that’s crazy famous yet but I really really think you could be so I really hope you’ve starred in at least one big movie by now, and of course I hope you’ve made at least one of the movies we’ve wanted to make, if not more.  I know we have something really special and I know you’re gonna be really big by now.  (Also you might still be in college getting your masters but I know you can handle all of that by now.)
I just thought of this actually but what about all the friends I have now!  Because you’re in California so Dan and Steve are gonna be really far away.  But I bet they can move with you.  Steve can do baseball in California and Dan can be a history teacher in California.  We’re a super trio so we have to make sure we stick together.  There’s no way we’re not.  My family’s probably still in the house in Sumerset which is fine.  I’ll see them on holidays and stuff.  I don’t know what my sister’s gonna be up to.  Its gonna be weird seeing mom and dad ten years older but that’s how life works and stuff.  It’s not like they’re gonna die any time soon but they’re definetely gonna be older.  I bet they’re finally gonna be proud now that your art is all famous.
I dunno what’s gonna happen with the other friends you have in school right now but I like to think that if they’re really good friends, they’re gonna be near you.  Man what else?  You probably live in a nice place.  There’s no way you’re a dad yet because that’d be crazy but maybe you are!!  Is YouTube still around?  Right now I’m trying really hard to get my parents to let me have a YouTube channel and I think its gonna happen but its weird thinking about how it might not even exist eleven years into the future.  Please tell me all this fighting is worth it.  Though I guess it doesn’t even matter if you’re making movies.
But anyways, to wrap this up because I know you’ve got stuff to do, I really just hope you’re happy.  I know that is the cheesiest thing to say in the entire world and its making eighth grade me look like an extreme loser but come on Drew, it’s important.  I know right now I’m doing pretty good, at least right this moment.  It’s definetely gonna be the best year of middle school.  But if I’m being honest I feel like a real nobody more than I wish I did.  I have friends but I’m weird, and I know I’m weird, and I don’t know.  I don’t want to change, you know?  I like me.  I think that by now people have to know how cool and talented you are and not think you’re weird.  I know it!  And I know you’re even nicer than me, and definetely smarter, and definetely definetely better looking hahaha.  And you probably aren’t shy at all and I bet you have way more friends and throw parties and stuff and you’re really popular.  But yeah, I hope everyone looks at you and thinks “what a really good guy.”  And I hope you’re really happy and all that.  Because we deserve it.
All right, I put off all my homework to write this like a total moron and I need to get back to it, assuming I don’t get distracting by AIM again (which is definetely going to happen.)  Is AIM still around?  Okay that’s enough.  See ya in eleven years, dude.
Yours literally,
~ Drew
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flyingcookierambles · 2 years
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hm
i think i really hate the term messy. like. ok maybe im terminally online or something but like. idk.
as an afab acearo enby who felt alienated/alone in high school by classmates/friends who had their first kisses and first crushes and stuff, and then as an adult who goes to online queer spaces only to see stuff like “REAL queers are MESSY. we have heartbreaks and yearning and sex to make us human and real queers. all the prudes are repressed and confused and stupid and they just need to have sex with someone to be real queer people. no western culture puritan virgins allowed in our community haha cry virgins and get laid or be a gross neckbread cis man/virgin incel in your mom’s basement  >:D” and im like just standing there like. oh. ok. i guess i’m not a “real human being / queer”. (ngl, i would like the “being a man” part to be true, plus thanks to the awful economy i’ll probably live at home with my mom for the rest of my life wow love it!) i’m just. not interested in irl sex/romance stuff, like fanfic and romance books are ok i guess, i think the right term in aegosexual? im too introverted to go to parties or meet strangers on tinder and have like idk a one night stand or something and lose my chance at being a wizard by 30, plus although i do finally have a drivers license and my sister’s old car, im not that comfortable with driving around, so i have no transportation or anything.
still, its frustrating to see “queer” communities just be like. aphobic (or like whatever the word is for against aromantics as well, unless that just gets rolled into the term aphobic?). allo friendly only. they just dont say it out loud. they just say that “real queers are messy and have great sex all the time” (thats my impression at least)
i dont want ppl to sexualize my body bc its gross and im not on hrt or anything so i just look like a cis woman (ugh even writing that term makes me feel gross now) but i know that thats what ppl judge me at first glance as and i dont want it. tbh even if i were allo, i think that id only want to date other nb/trans ppl (the t4t tag) who hopefully wont judge me for my body. like. maybe if i were allo in some alternate universe, i would only date bi/pan or demi-sexual trans ppl who can understand my body issues and judge me more by personality (or, like, for bi/pan people, they likely enjoy all body types. hopefully. not just. “female” bodies. idk. the t4t tag tho, i enjoy it and am glad i learned about it recently, very helpful 10/10)
ugh i guess. just. as an ace person trying to mind my own business, its annoying to get messages from the crazy jesus freaks that i am a “woman” and i must “have sex” and “have kids” and then get messages from the (allos only but this part is silent) queer community that to be “queer” is to have “sex with strangers bc if you only want to do it with ppl you know/are in love with, youre actually just oppressing yourself with western purity culture and you have to unlearn it right now and jump someones pants or else you wont save yourself from your own oppression” and be “messy” and be “not boring/introverted” and “go to parties and have flings” and “fall in love = human and queer and messy and adult” and “use tinder” or something idk (also disregarding the issues of health/STI risk and/or the risk of pregnancy for afab people + shrinking access to birth control/abortion care. no. just go out. having a casual hookup with someone. dont worry about it, just go lose your virginity you boring loser)
like idk. i dont like loud parties like on all those tv shows of “real messy human lives” like euphoria or whatever. im still a virgin so i guess i’m just an immature boring child who cant talk to people, even tho im a boring tax paying 25 year old temp office worker with ~30k of college student debt. even though i am nb/under the trans umbrella, i guess that im not sexual enough for the queer community. i dont like alcohol since its dumb and expensive and doesnt even taste good. i dont do drugs bc i dont even know where to get them. like. idk maybe i can text one of my former college classmates and ask if i can get weed from him or something. (but like i dont even like the smell, its like a skunk. maybe if the smoking kind like joints only smell bad and the edibles like the brownies or cbd infused foods dont smell i’d try it maybe idk?)(does making my dovakhiin in skyrim buy and drink skooma count?)(does watching game of thrones count? lol (until that horrible dumpster fire of a last season, i dont even have the motivation to watch the house of the dragon plus i dont have hbo max or the computer space to torrent rips of the episodes, i think the 8th season of GOT just made me lose faith in any other GOT media/tv spin offs other than the actual books themselves lol))
like. idk. maybe to the “cool, mature, real adult queers” online im just a silly little confused puriteen cis girl whos just too deep in the western puritan culture (bruh i grew up atheist and, for better or worse, spent my high school years on reddit with “Very Cool Atheists” i am not religious in any way) and “we must save her from the christian brainwashing” and im just cosplaying being “queer” or im not queer enough to be one of the cool “Messy (TM) queers” and “once youre out of high school/tiktok/get freedom from your parents house, you’ll learn better and have great hookup culture/drinking parties in college dorms” (....i am out of college...) and “being human is feeling love and having a good cry after a breakup” (ok guess im a heartless loveless freak like a kingdom hearts enemy lmao???) or “get therapy lol” (i cant afford it nor do i have the time. but tbh i probably have undiagnosed depression or anhedonia or blunted emotions or something. is that Cool enough for you? does having undiagnosed depression make me Messy (TM) enough to be in your Cool Queer Clique with Adult Life Experiences like not being able to afford therapy and having mystery mental illnesses?)
ugh. just. frustrating.
ill cry alone later and go on some depression sub or r/offmychest or r/confessions or something and probably complain again later abt this idk im just like. ugh. saw 1 tweet about how the only way to be queer is to be Messy (TM) and im just like. no. no that doesnt make me feel connected to your community at all. maybe i just shouldnt use the label queer if im not a real enough person with enough of the right kind of Messy Life Experiences (TM) to fit in with your clique and then get up at 5:55 am to get ready to go to my second job/retail shift. you know. since im just a puriteen confused sexless/maidenless little girl. not a boring 25 year old afab non-binary virgin who just wants to chill and play video games and maybe not have existential crises over how boring and dull and drab and poor i am to not be able to afford to go to parties or travel the world/ “haha you dumb puritan american, just go to a different country to see others cultures lulz” (i have no money and also paid time off doesnt exist here + you have to put in time off requests like 2 weeks to a month in advance and i dont even have a passport) and try 80 different kinds of alcohol or not have one night stands with total strangers despite also watching law & order: SUV (yes yes i know its copaganda and therefore Bad) and try to not think about how i, a small and kinda flabby/unfit asian american afab, might be hate crime’d and/or murdered in someones apartment or something (like, even i were allosexual, i know that even within the queer community for allo people like lesbians and bi/pan women (whether cis or trans women or generally feminine leaning ppl) have some qualms with cis gay men community’s hookup culture)(like i think that there was some ad or concept for a dating app and one of the features was just a button that sent your match your exact location via gps. and all the comments and qrts were of afab/feminine gender leaning ppl being like “bro why”)(also thinking of that one tweet of a tiktok of a white cis woman putting some strands of hair in her uber’s car and all the comments were just like “terminal true crime brain rot” which like yeah theres issues with true crime and exploitation and also tiktok brainrot is probably definately a thing but like c’mon man can ppl not ridicule marginalized ppl for 5 seconds. yes, that lady in the tiktok was def white and probably wouldve gotten like 800 news stories about her if she were to disappear, but like if the tiktok were of a bipoc person leaving a finger nail clipping or hair in an uber car, would you have still ridiculed that person having “terminally online true crime brainrot” or would you have sympathized with them? why do reasonable worries get made fun of despite the current hostile sentiments towards bipoc/trans people?)
eh. rambles. frustrations. idk. im gonna finish this stupid book of skywind 2 for this bard relic weapon. as a “not real/queer enough” person to be considered “human”. just a boring gamer boy that lives in his/their mom’s house and has no life i guess.
(i feel that i have to clarify again that this are random frustrations i have and i might private or delete this post at some point idk. but like. idk. i dont care what others do in their private times. i just am annoyed when others views on how my private life should be gets pushed on me, whether it be by right wing religious people being like “when are you getting married to a man/having kids” or by the “Cool Messy Adult Queers”/”Real People” club being like “why havent you lost your virginity yet, youre just oppressing yourself and are a heartless loveless freak, you need to have the exact same experiences that we allos have to be considered a Cool Queer Adult with Adult Experiences or else youre just a baby puriteen” (ah the infantilization thanks as if i dont get that enough with me being a young looking asian american under 5 feet tall and being a “girl” (gag))(wait wow wee golly gee the thought just occurred to me, but am i just oppressing myself by making myself sexless? *gasp* im not enough a Good Enough asian american, what with the transracial adoption issues so i dont “act” asian american and cant speak mandarin/cantonese/Leizhou Min since i dont have anyone to teach me as a child, and the only focusing on study in high school/college and not going to parties at all. im just a sexless good student asian american stereotype and my entire existence is an offensive stereotype and i cant call myself asian american enough or queer enough to be considered part of those communities! *GASP* wow thanks (allos only) queer community for teaching me that i am a truly a failure as a living breathing thing. i cant even call myself human since i dont have enough Messy (TM) Human Experiences (TM) and my love/sex life (the only part of life that matters after all, not that probably undiagnosed mental illnesses of depression or imposter syndrome or other gender/racial identity issues) is just me reading a spicy fanfic or playing DOL (if ya know ya know lol) sometimes and is totally virtual, not attracted/interested in Flesh And Blood Real Life Humans who are Cool and Queer at all, i only enjoy cold lifeless passionless boring dull monochrome digital letters on a screen and thats not Cool or Messy or Real (Life) enough to be the right kind of Queer for your exclusive Queer club or label myself as Queer or Human or Adult. (aces can only be boring emotionless robots stereotype intensifies)(imposter syndrome over racial identity issues intensifies)(oh yeah i am still ace/aro but like if i had to pick a micro-label i did kinda learn abt aego recently and i think its just neat so yoink lol))
so. maybe i shouldnt call myself queer. idk.
Thought that we left this aphobic/let's make fun of any one whether they are a legit minor too young to go party/drink/do recreational drugs or whether they are an adult with financial issues or trapped in a rural/conservative area with no other irl queer friends who can't afford to go to the cool hip queer sex bar/night club like thousands of miles away in the city (ageism/classism/ and metronormativity all in one?/reverse virgin shaming weirdness/ Trauma(TM) fetishization (*insert that sexy depression girl in bed meme pic*) bs back in like 2013 -15 tumblr or whatever. but I guess I was wrong.
(Also shout out to the time when I got a papercut real bad in my college dorm when I was doing homework and my colleges stupid health center/school nurse closed at an early time of night and all they have in the waiting room was a bowl of free condoms but no free bandaid or period care like free pads or tampons iirc. You know. Reasonable stuff that everyone could use not just allos. Had to spy into the hallway of the office and saw a light on in a back office. Banged on the door and was playing loud music from my phone for a guy to come out. Turns out like admin or accounting for the school shared the space with the hallway/office the school nurse was in. Asked the guy if I could have a simple bandage and he said no. Too much health insurance documentation legal stuff to say that one bandage was missing for one single student with a papercut at 8 pm. Had to walk in the dark to CVS to buy my own box of bandaid. While it was a "safe college" neighborhood thankfully nothing happened, it was not a fun time for me as a short and physically weak person waking around alone at night. Still salty over that. So stupid. My college was so weird and dumb sometimes)
Edit: oh yeah remembered that in addition to being aego aro I am also touch adverse. Sure can't wait for the Cool Adults to just ridicule me as a loser lonely repressed virgin brainwashed by the western purity culture robot forever and tell me to just go touch grass or get therapy or something unhelpful and stupid.)
edit edit: its been abt 10 hours now my temper is a bit cooled down. so like to reiterate, i think that i do agree with some of the sentiment in the original original post about queer media being more than just pg fluff and stuff and queer stories can be 18+ and whatever, its just that this one guy’s reply was just. mask off. exclusionary. aces are not queer, aces are straight people. just. uuugh. anyways. a qrt by an ace person and then a thread/conversation with the aphobe who thinks that ace doesnt belong in queer. i think ill block this guy. seriously i thought that we left this ace exclusion in 2015 but i guess not.
editiedit a few more days later even more now that my head is cooled down from the rage mood i was in when i typed this earlier: yes. i agree with this that being sex neutral should be the way. like i said rambling incoherently earlier, i dont like the actual bad slut shaming puritan stuff of conservatives, but again, i dont like the virgin/”youre just a puritan!” shaming that excludes sex repulsed aces, people who have trauma or whatever about sex that prevents them from having sex, disabled people who physically for whatever reason cant have sex, etc., that comes from the mEsSy QuEeR (extroverted party-going allos only put this part is silent) community. putting sex on a pedestal or glorifying it, as one reblog tag on that post says, should not be the answer to slut shaming. its just a thing that some people do and some people don’t. like deciding to eat pizza or not. its a personal choice and i dont agree with shaming people for doing it or peer pressuring people into doing it before they’re ready. i also saw a screenshot of the “sex repulsed aces = puritans. all my ace friends would hand out water bottles at the orgy.” that everyones talking about and like. nooo??? again, this is the virgin shaming/sex repulsed aces/people with disabilities/trauma exclusion that im talking about from the toxic positivity/sex positive group. if people dont want to go to the orgy and hand out water bottles, they just dont want to go to the orgy to hand out water bottles. it does not equal being a “pUrItAn.” (also, do not invite me to hand out water bottles at the orgy, as an introvert and also a person who doesnt want to get covid19, i just dont like parties or large groups of any kind, the only exception being anime conventions with strict vaccine and mask rules.)
editeditedit: also yes
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eeunoia · 3 years
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ENHYPEN Mini Series
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E N H Y P E N as Vampires
pairings: jake sim x reader
summary: having all eternity to live on, Jake find it lonely to be all alone not until he set eyes over at you.
word count: 5k
warnings: suicide
a/n: Jake’s one shot was a little short but I hope it’s still okay. My recent works had received so much love from you guys! Thank you so much and I love you guys so much! Have a great day. 🌸 (Taglist still open!)
taglist: @rubyanne, @izneos, @jung-breadshop @llamabouquet @eterniki @hwangjangmi @full-sannie @danyxthirstae01 @flowerjaem @dreamykkoo @crjwon​
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“Go to hell, y/n!” I shut my eyes tightly as something hit my back hardly when my step sister started throwing things towards me.
I just turned 18 and now they’re trying to kick me out of from the house my Dad had left us. Well, my Mom died when I was just 9 years old. My father got so lonely because of her and he thought I was feeling the same way so he decided to re-marry.
He married my Step-mother four years ago. She have one daughter and they weren’t that nice to me. She just treat me nicely whenever my Dad is around, and now that he left me too. I have nobody else beside me. I’m all alone.
I cried silently as I tried picking up my things that were now scattered all over the floor. My step-mother starred down right at me with no sympathy. Beside her was my step-sister whose smirking widely while watching me suffer. I bet they’ve waited long for this to happen, to get rid of me.
After getting all of my stuff, I started walking directionless. Like a lifeless human, I was walking mindlessly. I don’t know where to go or even what to do. It will be night soon and I don’t think it will be too nice for a young girl to be all alone out here.
I gulped and quickly search for my phone. Delighted to see that there was still a little battery left, I gulped dialing someone.
“Who’s this?” I gulped feeling thrilled that she actually picked up.
“It’s me y/n.” I bit my lower lip and I heard her heavy sigh right away.
We weren’t close and maybe she’s even annoyed that I gave her a ring but I don’t have anyone else to call. My hand automatically made its way over to my lips as I started biting my fingernails.
“Why did you call me?”
“U-Uhh.. I don’t have anywhere else to go. My step mother kicked me out and--”
“And you’re calling me right now because? Hey, not because i’m the class president you're allowed to do this.” she sounded so sarcastic and annoyed at the same time.
You were silent for a while. You can’t fully blame her, to be called out of nowhere by someone you’re not close with will definitely weird and creepy. Not to mention that you’re one of the most bullied students in your class.
“Can you p-please help me out? Just this o-once. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” you’re mind are all messed up. No thoughts at all, the fact that you’ve been kicked out from the house where you spent your whole life with was still not sinking in to you.
Your eyes can’t even produce any tears at the moment. You feel like you’ve been crying too much that you actually got tired of it.
A sigh from the other line was heard and it pulled you back to reality, “What do you need?”
“C-Can I stay with you? Even in just a few--”
“What? No way! Don’t you have anyone else?” she sounded more irritated. Feeling more anxious about it, you gulped.
“I have nobody else.” you’re voice sounded so low and lifeless. Having nothing else to push you to live anymore, your last resort was to just take your own life.
“Ugh, why do you have to be a sore loser?” you bit your lower lip trying to ignore her rude comment. You have no one else who can take you in for a few days while you look for a job.
“Fine. Just go here.” and she dropped the call right away.
A small smile actually spreads through your face as you headed towards her apartment. Finally feeling like you’re starting to make a change in your life, you plot some plans inside your head. Things you need to do in order to live a better life.
As you arrive at her place, you knocked and waited patiently for her to open the door for you. With an unpleased look, she faced you and lets you inside.
She didn’t even ask if you’re okay or anything. Despite the bruises all over your body, she ignored it and just guided you to a vacant room. It was dusty and unorganized but you can’t complain. You should even be grateful she lets you be here for a few days.
“3-4 days maximum.” she reminded you before going out of the room.
You nodded your head even after she left and roamed your eyes around. Letting out a heavy sigh, you started arranging things so you can fix the bed and maybe get ready for sleep. You can feel your stomach grumbling out of hunger but you ignored it completely. You have no money to buy any food and you don’t want to trouble your class president for food as well. It would be too much hindrance for her.
You slept with an empty stomach that night so when you woke up the next day, you kind of don’t have any strength. When you went out, you saw a note over at the table saying she left some food and some spare keys.
Feeling thankful about it, you had breakfast and made sure you’ll thank her later on. When you arrived school, your step-sister was already there smirking at you. You tried hard avoiding her and just straightly went to your seat at the back.
The students around were starring at you for a bit while and even whispering with each other. Seems like your step-sister had announced at the whole class that you’ve been kicked out from your house. You were wondering what kind of false rumors did she create this time.
“It’s Jake!” your head snapped right over at the door when the girls inside your class got so excited about someone.
Jake Sim. Your eyes settled at the handsome boy who entered the class smiling. He was really attractive and almost the whole class likes him, including your step-sister. She was crazy for him.
You can’t blame her since he was really gorgeous. He’s nice too, always wearing a smile and kind to everybody. But theres just one thing that you’ve noticed with him. His eyes looked dead sometimes. Like even if he’s smiling, his eyes were lifeless.
You jolted a bit when both of your eyes met each other. With light red tinted over your face, you quickly looked away. This isn’t the right time to have a crush on somebody, y/n! You’ve got to find a job first.
After the bell rang, indicating that the class had finished, you hurried yourself out avoiding students. You’re determined to go and look for a job to support your needs.
The whole time remaining, you just tried looking for a job but no luck. You went back disappointed and trying hard to convince yourself that you can try and find for another one tomorrow.
The next days were just the same for you. It was no luck, you feel like you’re step-mother were starting to meddle with it as well. And also, lately, you’ve noticed Jake’s stares over at you during classes. He never done that before, but it was often these past two days. You don’t want to sound assuming or anything but that’s just how you noticed it.
The third day of hunting for a job, it was also a failure. With a heavy heart you trailed over at the quiet street of your town. It was 9pm, almost 10. Less people can be seen outside. After some rumors about the missing persons, people in your town started to be more careful.
Your feet brought you over a bridge. You starred right over at it mindlessly. Mind completely blank with thoughts, your mind wondered over those timed when you’re still happy. When you’re Mom was still there, back when you still have someone to lean on.
For the first time in days, you felt your eyes teared up. The image of your Mom that were always so clear for you flashed back right in your mind. Her comforting smile and warm hugs, you sure miss them the most. You cried silently while walking towards the edge of the bridge. You starred right down, it was the cold river.
With eyes full of tears, you roamed them around trying to check if somebody else was there. You wiped off your tears and started climbing over it. You have no will to live anymore so you just decided to take your own life.
Trembling a bit while standing at the other side of the bridge, you starred right down beneath you. The water looked so cold and dark. Feels like you’ll die right away once you jumped down.
Having just both of your two hands and the little space your stepping on as the only things that keeping you alive, you started battling with your own mind. Being completely confused, tired and lifeless, you really wanted to jump off.
“What are you doing?” your eyes snapped open and looked over at your right.
You gulped, eyes grew a bit at the sight of somebody in front of you. He was starring right at your eyes and you saw how cold his eyes were again.
“What are you doing here?” you asked him back emphasizing the you at him. Jake pursed his shoulders and even leaned over at the railings of the bridge beside you.
He’s acting like as if you were not at the other side and life’s in danger.
“Taking a stroll.” he casually answered.
“At this time?” you asked doubting him.
He smiled a little after nodding his head at you, “How about you? What are you doing? Are you gonna jump off?” he asked and starred down over the river.
You gulped, “N-Nothing.” if anything, you don’t want to cause trouble to anybody else.
He chuckled lightly, “Doesn’t seem like nothing to me.” he tilted his head then eyed you back.
“You’re planning to kill yourself, aren’t ya?” he asked, his accent popping a bit. You gulped, guilty. You were silent because one, he knows. Two, he still look gorgeous even if it’s dark already. The only light you guys have was the one from the bright moon.
“I don’t have any will to live in this cruel world.” your voice were low. The wind blew right towards at both you but you saw how he starred right over at your eyes.
There was a moment of silence before he lets out a sigh, “This world sure is cruel.” he agreed.
For the first time, somebody agreed with you. A small smile appeared over at your lips as you felt your heart races a bit. You don’t know if he’s really agreeing with you or he’s just really kind. Because honestly, there's nothing you can think of a reason why he’ll think this world is cruel for him. It seems like he already have everything and that his life was perfect.
“But if you live in it in a different way, it’ll change.” he muttered meaningful and he starred right at you once again, eyes piercing.
Your brows furrowed in confusion. You don’t get what he just said but even before you can ask him, he pulled out something from behind. It was tumblr?
He handed it over at you with a sweet smile. “What is this?” you asked, one hand holding over at the railing as the other accepted what he handed over. The space that you’re stepping over was enough to keep you steady but you're still holding on over at the steel railing.
“Wine. Might as well have some of that before dying right?” he smirked right at you.
Wondering a bit because of what he just said you looked at him with full confusion, he chuckled opening the lid for you.
“If you drink that, I won’t say any word about what I saw today.” he said smiling at you.
Biting your lower lip, you decided to do what he just said. Taking a sip, you groaned a bit finding it a bit strange. Having your eyes shut, you didn’t notice how Jake’s eyes turned red out of excitement just by looking at you drinking what he just gave you.
“Do as you promised.” you said after putting the almost empty bottle over at the railing.
You wiped over the corner of your lips and saw the familiar red color of wine. After having a sip from that drink, you kind of became more brave to do what you just planned moments ago.
Jake stood just beside you from the other side of the bridge. He watch how sorrow took over your eyes, tears streaming over your eyes. He hates it. All of it. He hates how people were so cruel to you, how you punish yourself from it and how you still try to keep a smile even after being treated badly by this world.
His face turned serious as he watch you slowly let go from the railing, body falling right over the cold river. He starred over as your body collided at the surface of the water.
He was sure it would take your life. A loss from the human world and a gain to his. With a smirk, he put his hands inside his pocket as he heads down over the river.
He roamed his eyes that quickly turned red and went over the water to go look for your body. He found you pretty much faster than expected, your face was full of bruises and probably broken bones. He gently placed his fingers over at your wrist to check your pulse.
He pulled you out and carried you bridal style, slowly he lets your body over the grass beside the cold river. The silent night even made it more colder but it doesn’t matter because Jake wasn’t even a living person so the cold is nothing to him anymore.
Jake’s eyes turned red as his fangs slowly showed as he leaned closer. A smirk spread right into his face as he felt no heartbeat coming from you. This world had lost you but now he have you for him, all for him.
Jake buried his fangs over your neck and drink from your blood, making all over his veins get too excited.
He leaned away starring right over at your unconscious body. He smirked, wiping off some blood dripping out from his mouth, “You’re gonna be with me forever, y/n.”
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Your eyelids felt a little heavy as you open them slowly. An unfamiliar ceiling greeted you that made you furrowed your brows a little. You were confused where you were so you stood up.
You roamed your eyes around at the place. It looked elegant and cozy at the same time. Head aching a bit, your hand rested over at your temple as you try to remember the previous things that happened that can help you to know where you are.
Your eyes quickly snapped open when you remember yourself jumping off from the bridge. You starred right over your arms and you saw them completely fine, both of your legs were fine as well. There's no trace of signs that you’ve committed suicide.
It was so strange because you were so sure that you jumped off. Feeling completely confused, you ran your hands over at your hair and to your surprised, they grew a bit longer. Your eyes then notice how more pale you became.
“I see you’re awake now.” your head snapped over at the corner when you heard somebody talked.
“J-Jake?” you muttered his name.
He smiled sweetly at you. To your surprised it didn’t look so lifeless anymore. It looked livelier for some reason.
Oh right! Jake was there too! He watched you jumped off the bridge. Is he the one who saved you?
He slowly walked closer to you and sat down over at the edge of the bed. You looked at him, a lot of questions were already inside your mind.
“Let me see your eyes,” his voice sound so calm. You furrowed your brows as he leaned closer.
You felt this tingling inside your stomach as he smiled in satisfaction in front of you, “Beautiful.” he mumbled that made you flustered.
Did he just said beautiful?
“Do you feel hungry?” he asked like it's just normal for you to be here inside wherever this is.
“Did you save me?”
He starred at your eyes and he smiled. “You jumped, remember?”
You nodded your head because that’s clearly what you remembered. He nodded as well as he looked over your arms then back over at your face.
“Do you know anyone who lived right after trying to jump off from that bridge?”
You pursed your lips and shake your head no. In the cases you’ve known from your town, nobody ever lived after jumping off. So... why?
“Then... how?” you looked at him anticipating of any answers.
He smiled, hand stretched out over at you. He brushed away some hairs from your face and hung them over your ears. You were pretty sure you were flushed, but for some funny reason, you can’t feel any warmth from your body.
“You said you have no will to live anymore and that the world were so cruel.” he started, you nodded listening to him. He was right about that, even if its a bit blurry, you can still remember saying that to him.
“I told you if you lived it in a different way, it wouldn’t be so cruel. I just did you a favor.” he explained but you were still clueless about the things that were currently.
“I don’t understand.”
He smiled and stood up then walked towards the side table just beside the bed you were tucked in.
“Are you hungry?” he asked while holding something.
You didn’t talk, you actually don’t know. At the moment, you were confused and doesn’t feel anything.
But you felt the sudden hunger the moment he open the lid of the container he was holding. Letting out a small chuckle, Jake walk back to the bed.
“Ahh, I can’t get over with how beautiful you look, y/n. What to do? I think I found my obsession.” he muttered eyes fixed over at you.
You blushed hardly because of what he just said but quickly got distracted over the thing he was holding. The closer he gets, the hungrier you get.
When he hand it over to you, your brows furrowed at the sight of a red liquid inside.
“W-What is this?”
“I figured your body won’t take somebody else’s blood since it's still adjusting so i’ll be your blood bank for the mean time.”
You were stunned at your position when you heard about it. It is blood. Fresh blood of Jake. Why does it smelled so good? It make you drool in hunger.
“Am I...?”
You’ve heard about those things before. They were often became topics specially lately because of the sudden missing people over at your town.
Jake sat close to you, “Yeah, a vampire.”
Your hand lowered letting the cup rest over your thigh, you almost lose your mind. You don’t want to believe it but what else can explain the reason why you’re still here breathing when you jumped off a freaking bridge?
“B-But why? I told you I wanted to die.”
“Well, basically you’re already dead.”
You looked at him, frustrated. Okay, you are dead but that doesn’t even make sense! You're seem like you’re still alive. Breathing, but dead.
“You don’t understand, Jake. I wanted to die because I don’t want to be here. I have nobody else with me.”
His face turned serious and you’re not gonna lie, you somehow felt intimidated when that soft smile vanished from his face.
“Then what do you call me, baby? I’m here for you.” he said softly hand raised over to cup your face.
“Life’s been cruel to you and you were too good for that world.” his eyes turned red and you don’t know but they looked so pretty.
Two sharp fangs showed over from his lips as he smiled at you. Your mouth fell, right now, Jake looked really out of this world. You never know vampires can look this good. The books you used to read never told you they look this attractive.
“Now that I have you, I’ll make sure you won’t suffer anymore. Be with me,”
“Why me?”
Out of all the girls who were giving him attention, why you?
“Why not you?” he said starring right over at your eyes.
You were stunned, silent after he answered that to you.
He leaned closer to you, lips touching your cheeks lightly then over at your ears. It sent shivers over at your whole body but you loved it. Jake’s effect over at you, you enjoyed it.
“I’ll be here for you, y/n.” he whispered.
You gulped, lowering your head as you shut your eyes tightly.
“O-okay.” you answered.
Jake smirked, “That's my girl.”
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You’ve noticed some changes from your physical appearance and even at some aspects of your personality. You’re not that anxious anymore, confidence filled you up for some reasons. It isn’t a bad thing.
You trailed over the empty hallway of your school. Classes already started so you’re now heading over your classroom. You’ve learnt that you’ve skipped school for 3 days already.
Arriving at the entrance of the room, heads turned towards your direction. Looking directly over your teacher, you smiled right at her. She was furrowing her brows while trying to determine who you are.
“Is that... y/n?” you heard one of your classmates whispered.
“I’m sorry for being late, Ms. Choi.” and you even bowed at her.
She looked dumbfounded looking right at you. She doesn’t know how to exactly describe but something changed.
“U-Uh... Ms. Y/n--”
Your teacher can’t even finish what she was about to say when a hand wrapped over your shoulder.
“Sorry for being late, Ms. Choi. We kind of had some problem on our way here.” Jake suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
You blushed but kept still. You were used to Jake’s affection. He’s such a loving person. He took care of you and you never felt that way ever since you’re Dad died.
“It’s o-okay, Mr. Sim. You two can sit now.” she said. The class were still silent as they were very shock at what’s happening right now.
Your eyes traveled over the students inside. They were looking at you in a different way, not in the way how they used to back when they’re still bullying you. Some of them looked at you with confusion, some with desire and some with fear.
You chuckled softly, starring at their pathetic faces. Specially your step sister, her eyes were a bit bigger than usuall.
“Y/n, right here baby.” Jake called you out. You nodded and turned your head towards him. As the teacher gets back to where she was interrupted, you sat down beside him.
Jake rested his hand over at the back rest of your chair. His hands started drawing small lazy circles over your other arm.
He leaned closer, “Did you see their faces?” he whispered at you dropping a kiss over at your shoulder before he leaned away.
You smirked nodding your head as you turned over at him. “They were so surprise.”
He chuckled, “Who wouldn’t be surprise? My girl looked so beautiful.” he said while facing the front. You blushed and you saw how his ears turned a bit red too. You chuckled and just tried focusing at the lesson.
As time pass by, you started to get more dizzy. “I’m dizzy.” you mumbled softly.
“You hungry?”
You looked over at him and slowly nodded your head. He chuckled finding you cute. He rummages over his things and pull out a tumblr. The same tumblr he handed you that night.
He brushed away some hair away from your face, “Take it easy with you in-take of blood.” he whispered after dropping a kiss over at your forehead.
You started drinking from the bottle and felt yourself getting much better. The class continued with you having your meal. Jake find you cute while you enjoy it so much.
When the classes were finally over, Jake and you headed outside the school hand in hand. Students followed both of you with stares full of curiosity.
“Uh, you should go on Jake. I’ll just go to the class president because of my things I left at her place.” you told him.
He nodded his head at you, “I’ll wait for you in the car.”
You smiled at her before nodding your head. When you saw him walked away, you started to walk back inside the campus to go and look for the class president. You did find her pretty fast. She was with your step sister and some from their circle of friends.
“Class president.” you called her out. They looked over you in unison and they looked surprised once again.
“oh y/n!” unlike before, she doesn’t look irritated by your presence. Your step sister was lowering her head as well, trying to avoid eye-contact.
“I’m just gonna inform you that I’ll be getting my stuff at your place later. Thank you for letting me stay.” I said smiling. Well even if she acted annoyed, I can’t deny that she was nice enough to keep me in.
“H-Huh? Why? You know what, I actually felt alone. You c-can stay if you want.”
You starred right at her eyes. Lies. It doesn’t look so sincere like how Jake’s eyes sparkles whenever he talks with you. He was so sincere with everything, warmth taking over you once he started comforting you.
You smiled a little, “Nah, it's fine. I already have a place to stay.”
“Where were you these past days? We w-were looking for y-you!” she said. Again, you can’t feel anything from her.
“I jumped off a bridge.” you straightly told her. She was dumbfounded as well as the other girls that were with her.
After seconds of silence, you chuckled. “I was kidding. Jake kept me in.”
They gulped and obvious envy were over their faces. You sighed and decided you should go on. As you turn around, you felt somebody held your arm.
“Y/n, Mom said you s-should go home.”
You slowly faced her then your eyes trailed over to her hand that was holding you. Her eyes weren’t blank and doesn’t look so rude like always. You were stunned and can’t talk for a while. You don’t know what to response to her.
Even before you can talk, a hand brushes away her hold off from you. A hand instantly held your waist and pulled you closer to his body.
“Her home now is with me.” Jake said and you felt that familiar comfort that you’ve never felt for so long.
Jake guided you away from and you went along without saying a word.
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Weeks passed by with Jake and you’ve been very happy with him. He introduced you to this amazing world he have. Days with Jake was never boring and full of surprises. He clearly made you happy.
You let out a loud breath while you felt his soft fingers caressing your arms while you’re both snuggling close to each other.
You’re both enjoying the silence between you while laying down to your bed.
“How did you turn me again, Jake?” you were curious.
“The wine I offered you that night have my blood in it.” he chuckled remembering what he just did back then.
“Why do you have a thing like that with you while strolling around?” you turn over and rested your hand over at his chest while you lay your head over it. You looked over to Jake and he have this smirk right over his face.
“I was following you around for days and I figured I should be prepared once I saw an opportunity to give you that drink.” he said.
“So you do wanted to turn me.”
“Yeah. You thought I was kidding when I said that?” he raised an eyebrow at you. With a chuckle you nodded your head.
“Jake, I’ve always noticed your eyes were cold before. Why?”
He kept his smile while starring right at you, he sighed then gently brush away some strands from your face.
“You know, not everyone is fond of living forever. I’ve never found somebody who’s willing to stay with me. I was born as a vampire and I felt so alone.” He sound so sad that you actually felt bad for him.
“When I saw you, I knew I wanted you. I told myself I’ll take it slow and won’t force you. But when I saw you struggle in this life and really planned to take your life, I became selfish.” his eyes turned red as he starred lovingly at you.
You gulped cupping his face. “What if I told you I don’t want this?”
You saw pain over his eyes as he held your hand that was holding his face. With soft kiss, he showered your hands with it. “I don’t know, baby. I don’t know if I can let you go.”
You pursed your lips, “I’m all alone in my life too, Jake.” you said and he opened his eyes to look at you.
With affection, your eyes turned red as you leaned closer to his face. “But now that you’re here, I have a home I can call mine. I have a person I can be with forever.” you mumbled and he leaned closer as well for a kiss.
“I love you,” you mumbled.
“I love you, y/n.”
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moonsquaremars · 3 years
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11th house thoughts
Hi everybody.
I have an 11th house stellium, and I love it. Probably because my venus is in there, der planet of luv, as well as mars, lust et aggression, and mercury, th’ intellect. 
My sun missed it shy of 1° ; had i been born just a few minutes earlier, I would have been an 11th house sun. But I’m a twelfer. Why, might you ask? My mother has an 11th house stellium afterall, so did my ex-boyfriend. Well, if you ask, my father is a twelfth house sun. 
And I’m learning to live with that. 
Just kidding. Anyways, I love my 11th house stellium. If you’re unfamiliar, the eleventh house is ruled by aquarius. Each of the twelve houses in astrology corelate to each of the twelve signs of the zodiac. The planet which governs both this house and sign is the planet of Uranus, which is my favorite one in our solar system :) I did a random generator a guy posted on reddit to find out which planet is dominant in your chart, and when I plugged everything in, I got Uranus. I was actually quite surprised by this, but overjoyed. I love everything uranus represents. Eccentricity, humanitarianism, chaos.
I am a cancer sun, though, and virgo moon. Cancer rules the moon, so wouldn’t that be my dominant planet? Or is it just my chart ruler? I don’t know. But the moon is so fleeting. Kind of chaotic, actually. Since the moon passes each sign every few days, that’s what makes us cancers so moody. We feel the energy of all the signs within a months time. Can you imagine how that feels? constantly knowing what other people are feeling and thinking? Or maybe I’m just imagining it. I am crazy, after all :p
I digress. The 11th house is fabulous. It rules the finer things in life. My ex-boyfriend was a dandy man, took me to fancy restaurants and hotels, the works. I need that sort of thing, I admire and crave it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very in tune with income inequality and the social issues that plague the world. But I still love dressing up in fancy clothes for a decadent night out. I suppose this is attributed to my stellium, but I’ll take it. A stellium by the way is when you have three or more planets in one house.
It’s kind of odd that my mom has an eleventh house stellium because we grew up quite poor. Nothing about her really screams fancy besides the fact that she adores drinking wine, is beautiful, and we live fancier only if you put us in to comparison with poorer people around us. We did grow up wearing nice clothes though. My mom would buy us second hand designer brand clothes like tommy hilfiger. Maybe that’s not designer, maybe that’s just brand name. I’m from Kentucky, give me a break. But we Kentucky fancy, baby.
Uranus being my dominant and favorite planet, is in my 7th house, the house of libra and relationships. Perhaps someone could pull up my chart {in the tags] and enlighten me on why it might be my dominant planet. I might also add that my draconic moon is in aquarius, which is supposely what your ‘soul’ truly is. I don’t quite believe that, because I think the soul is larger and smaller than the twelve signs of our universe. Or maybe just our solar system. At least of our conscience understanding of things at this time. Astrology is just a bunch of symbols made of our world to organize and communicate ieas n information. It’s not much more than that.
I recall being very internet savvy in middle and high school. My north node and chiron are in my third house, house of gemini and communication. All of my 11th house stellium planets are also in gemini. I see this being accurate because I am rather small in frame, standing at 5 foot 9 and weighing 125 pounds since I was thirteen years old. My mouth gets me in trouble, whether it’s from accidentally offending or just not being able to shut up! I would constantly be editing my myspace profile, using html codes, messing with the layout and how it interacted with my profile picture and song, and anything else I added to it. I loved it, and then that transitioned to my tumblr blog which I did in high school. Hopefully tumblr doesn’t die out, it’s definitely not what it used to be. Later when stumbleupon was something, I would look up things about futurism, humanism, design. I loved reading about the future. It made me so freaking excited. Like what will life be like in 2040? So cool! Or 2600? Then it made me sad once I accounted my age into the picture. I don’t wanna be 40! and that’s so far away! I hate waiting. 
I’ll end this post on something interesting I noticed. My boyfriend of a year had an eleventh house stellium. After we broke up, I had two guys I was interested in. I was actually quite torn, because they were both so amazing, but so different. One was elegant and familiar with astrology and addiction issues and had money. He was like this worldly man with fantastic package hehe helped cure this mundane “what’s the point?” feeling I had about learning languages and stuff. He made me feel like there was in fact a point to all of it. He’s a scorpio just like me mum and we just had great chemistry. But I was already seeing a nother guy, who was this gentle, down the earth, all around manly man’s man. I loved him, but in a different way. He was simple, but the first time I slept over at his house, he picked me up in this kinda old but kinda new like beat up stick shift hyudai sedan. He reminded me of Wario. But he had an amazing package as well. we mostly just slept though ,and when I slept with him, I felt like I was back in bed with my father when I was like five or seven years old. I already know how that sounds, and I know the childish bunch of you or dommage who lack a healthy relationship with your father if y’ar, are going to come for me and say that’s gross or messed up or perverted or weird. It’s not. I don’t want to fuck my father, I never have, and I never will. I really don’t want to open this can of worms because I could go on about people I’ve met who have been sexually assaulted by their fathers or who have an incest fetish and I’m not trying to shame any of those people. But, I felt like I was back in bed with my father like i was when i was a kid while I was laying with him, and that was a really, really, really good feeling. I never forgot it. He had an aries sun, which I used to hate aries. It was my least favorite sign, and probably still is tbh, along with aquarius LOL. Oh and his moon was in taurus which explained everything. My dad is a taurus sun, as are my two sisters, my grandpa, and one of my good friends, Chelsea. My moon is in virgo in the second house, which is the house of taurus.
Well, mr. fancy pants had an 11th house stellium, and my down to earth sweet S had a third house stellium. Finding these things out did nothing to absolve my confusion, only added to the ache of not knowing which to choose. Talk about love triangle though. It did make me realize why I was in this predicament though, and I suppose it worked out because I don’t really talk to either guy anymore. But The seventh and third houses are also air houses, just like the 11th. 
11th house - Aquarius/uranus, 
7th house - libra/venus, 
3rd house - gemini/mercury
That’s all for tonight. I’m ever behind on french homework, so I oughtta go take care of that. I want to write on the twelfth house, since my sun is in there as well as my father’s, and why I don’t appreciate its doom and gloom persona. If each house correlates to a sign, then the twelfth’s would be house of pisces. Pisces is the last sign with a bad stereotype. At least from my perception, it’s one of the best. So humanistic and kind. So why is its house the house of prison and addictions and psych wards and have all this hubbub, this &thatt?
Au revoir! -K  ý ll
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Seasons of PD: Season 1: Lonnie Rodiger (A Jay Halstead + Halstead! Sister Imagine)
Any quotes from season one that I put in here, credit obviously goes to the writers of PD. For the sake of my story, Ben Corson was killed when he was 11 so you would've been 10. 
Trigger warning for mentions of rape and murder.
Jay's age: 27
Your age: 13
Jay walked up the steps of the front porch of his childhood home. With how crazy gangs have become the past few weeks, it was hard for him to get a good night's sleep without his phone going off, let alone keep track of what day it was. So, when he walked into the district this morning and learned that it was the day of what would've been Ben Corson's fourteenth birthday, he was crushed. He'd learned how to deal with the pain because it wasn't his best friend, it was the little brother of his ex-girlfriend. But, he was your best friend and, despite the saying that time heals all wounds, this day was still hard on you. It was a bit better than when the night he was killed rolled around each year, but it was hard nonetheless. It was also hard because Jay had to see his dad, even if it was just for a few minutes.
"Hey, Jay. How's work?" Pat Halstead asked as his youngest son entered the house. He was seated in the recliner in the living room, catching the highlights of the Blackhawks game from last night.
"Please don't do that," Jay stated.
"Do what?" Pat asked as he muted the tv.
"Pretend like you care. Pretend like you were there for me when I was Y/N's age because we both know you weren't. Remember that fight I got--"
"Jay? Are we going to the Corsons?" you asked, popping into the living room and stopping your dad and Jay's conversation in its tracks.
"Uh, yeah, c'mon let's go," Jay faltered.
You smiled, but it was more of just tipping one side of your lips upward. Today was a day that didn't warrant full smiles, only half-smiles and maybe a few quiet giggles like when you, Jay, Gail, Danny, and occasionally Allie if she was home, told stories about yours and Ben's escapades when you were younger...when Ben was alive.
"Thanks. I made a card, too." You turned to your dad before you left. "Bye, Dad. See you tonight."
"Bye, don't let her eat too much cake, Jay," your dad replied.
"And just for that, you're getting two pieces," Jay whispered in your ear as soon as you were out on the front porch. You rolled your eyes. "Hey, don't use that teenage sass with me, missy."
"Shut up," you joked. "It's just funny because every time Dad tells you not to do something, you do it anyway. It's probably because it's more fun when you're not allowed to do it."
"Okay, fine, I guess you're right about that."
"Ha, you're wrong about something!"
"Technically, I wasn't wrong. I just said you were right. But, do not tell Will."
"No promises."
You walked up the porch steps and Jay rapped on the door of the Corson's. You took a deep breath, trying to forget the many afternoons after school that you'd do the same exact thing, impatiently waiting for Ben to emerge so that you could both play in the backyard together until one of you got called inside for dinner, not without promises to play with each other the next day.
"You okay?" Jay asked, noticing your change in demeanor from joking with him to solemn in a matter of seconds.
You shrugged, not knowing what to say.
"Jay, Y/N," Gail Corson said as she answered the door after you and Jay had each given her a hug.
You walked inside to the kitchen table, where Ben's dad, Danny, was just sitting, staring into space. "Hey, Danny," Jay said.
"Hi, Jay. Y/N," he replied.
You never knew what to say when it came to this day, so you just handed Danny the envelope. "I, uh, I made a card for Ben," you said. "I don't know if you want to open it and read it or just put it somewhere, I just--"
"I'll open it, sweetheart," Gail interrupted and then took the card from her husband.
You had made the card out of light blue construction paper and had used a navy blue pen to write in your best cursive handwriting, Happy 14th birthday, Ben!, since blue was Ben's favorite color. You hadn't known what else to write, because, what else could you write? Tell him what he was missing out on with being gone and cry so hard while making the card that that marker smudged and bled through the other side of the construction paper? No, you couldn't do that. So, you had resorted to printing out some pictures of you and Ben (some with you, Ben, Jay, Allie, and the occasional one with Will) on computer paper, cut them out, and glued them inside the card. You wanted the card to be filled with happy, funny memories, not sad, sappy writing.
Gail let out a sad laugh. "When was this one taken?"
You looked at the picture she was pointing at. It was a selfie no doubt taken on Allie's old flip phone. In it, Jay and Allie were making funny faces and you and Ben were both smiling proudly because of the work you had done.
Jay was supposed to be babysitting you and Allie was supposed to be babysitting Ben since your parents and his parents had gone out for dinner together. You both should have been in bed in your own separate houses since there was a rule about Allie and Jay not hanging out alone together at home when there were no parents around, but you had lost count of how many times they had broken that rule.
It was around 11 at night when Ben had woken you up with two black, Crayola markers in his hand and had told you that both Jay and Allie were asleep on the couch. So, as quiet as you could, you both tip-toed into the living room, uncapped your markers, and got to work.
You knew they had seen the trouble you two had gotten into when you heard running. You and Ben giggled to yourselves as you heard the water running from the bathroom.
Soon enough, Jay flung your door open. And, you guys just couldn't help yourselves and started to laugh even harder.
Then, to get you back, Jay had tickled you and Allie tickled Ben. Once you had all calmed down, Allie suggested that the four of you take a picture. And, the next time Allie and Ben came over when Jay was babysitting, he was sure to hide all the markers on the top shelf of his bookshelf in his bedroom where there was no way either of you would be able to find them, let alone reach them.
"So, you and Allie did hang out together with no parental supervision," Danny chirped. "Don't do stupid things like your brother here, Y/N."
"Hey," Jay started to defend himself. "We learned our lesson...to hide the markers."
"Do you remember when he got in trouble for pushing some kid on the playground, Gail?" Danny asked his wife.
"Oh, how could I forget that! I got a call from the school saying that Ben was in trouble and I knew on my way over there that he'd be grounded from the tv for weeks. But, then in the car on the ride home, he explained to me that some kid in his grade was telling Y/N she couldn't play with them since she was a grade below them. Then, he pushed him down and said that, yes, she could play."
"You never told me the full story of that, Y/N. What's this kid's name?" Jay asked.
"Jay, it was years ago! Give the overprotective big brother thing a rest, would you?"
"Would you kids like some cake?" Gail asked.
You swallowed. Chocolate on chocolate cake, Ben's favorite and yours. But, now on your birthday, you'd switched to marble just so that you wouldn't be reminded of how Ben would never see you on your birthday again.
Jay noticed your discomfort and how you probably didn't want to start bawling your eyes out just because you didn't want Gail and Danny to start crying, as well. Even though they'd probably done enough crying today as it was.
"Actually, we gotta run. I have to get Y/N home because she has homework to do and I have some police business to tend to," Jay answered, sensing your discomfort as the good detective he was.
"At least let me give you a slice to go," Gail suggested.
Abruptly, Danny stood up and shoved his chair under the table, and left the kitchen. You heard a door slam.
You widened your eyes for a split second and then quickly regained your composure. His son was dead and his killer was still on the loose; he had every right to lash out.
"This is always a tough day for him," Gail started. "He won't eat it. I just end up throwing it out."
Jay nodded. "Small slice." He turned to look at you. "And an even bigger slice for her."
Gail went over to a cupboard and pulled out two Tupperware containers and then two plastic forks from a drawer. Then, she cut two slices of cake and placed them inside the containers, handing you the one that contained the bigger slice.
"Thank you," you said.
"Yes, thank you," Jay agreed. "And, if there's anything either you or Danny need, please don't hesitate to call me."
Gail nodded and the two of you left the Corson's house, cake in hand.
"Happy birthday, Ben," you whispered when you were walking down the steps.
Then, when you got back to your house, Jay pulled out his keys and unlocked his car. "Hop in," he told you.
"Where are we going?" you asked. "I thought you had some police stuff to do?"
"You know how on Mom's birthday, we always go to the cemetery and plant flowers?" he asked. You nodded. That day was always full of crying despite how old you got. Hell, even Jay cried. It was one of the only times that he'd let his guard down and let his emotions take over in full force. "Look in the backseat."
There, sitting on the backseat on a towel so that dirt wouldn't get everywhere, was a carton full of Morning Glories. "Blue. Ben's favorite color."
"Yeah," Jay said, the volume of his voice almost a whisper. "We just have to make a quick pitstop first and then we'll go and plant them." You both buckled up and then Jay actually realized that he might have overlooked something. "You don't actually have a ton of homework to get done, do you?"
"No, even if I did, I wouldn't be able to focus on it." You took a bite of the birthday cake. "Does it get any easier?"
"Does what get any easier?" he asked, while still keeping his eyes on the road, his cake forgotten.
"You know, losing people. I know it'll be hard every year for Mom because she was our mom--"
"First of all, she's still our mom, Y/N. No one is going to replace her. Second of all, continue."
"Sorry, I know you got more time with her and knew her better than I did--"
"Listen, if you ever want to hear stories about Mom or Mom and Dad or anything like that, just ask me. I know you were just a kid, hell you are still just a kid, but you can always ask me about her. Always, okay?"
You nodded, feeling grateful that you at least had one brother who looked out for you. Lord knows Will didn't since he was barely home. You didn't hold a grudge against him or anything like Jay did, you just felt like he wasn't there. And, you knew that him not being there had hurt Jay, so it was hard for the three of you to all act like siblings when you felt like you'd need to jump in and stop a fight between your brothers at any moment. If it was just you and Will or just you and Jay, your relationship was great. But, when it was the three of you together, you could practically feel the tension between Will and Jay.
"So, does it get easier? Losing friends I mean. Like, when their birthdays come around or the day they died, does your heart feel like it isn't being ripped out of your chest every second of those days?"
You assumed that Jay had lost friends when he was overseas, which was why he came home from his second tour a year earlier than scheduled. That and your mom was sick.
"That's how you're feeling with Ben? Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.
"I knew you had your own stuff going on with being a detective and all and I know you think you know who did it and I don't want you going to prison."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. My job will never be more important than you." It might be more important than Will, he thought to himself. But, you didn't need to know that piece of information. "But, to answer your question, no it doesn't get any easier. I mean it kinda does, because the pain of losing them isn't as fresh as the years go by, but the day still sucks no matter how many years it's been."
"Then how do you deal with? When those days of the year roll around?"
"Distract yourself to try and forget. But, pretend I didn't tell you that. Go talk to someone instead."
"That's not what you do though, is it? Talk to someone?"
"Do as I say, kid. Do as I say, not as I do."
"Will you ever stop calling me kid? I'm thirteen, Jay!"
"Nope, in my head you're still that four-year-old with the Build-A-Bear."
He pulled the car up to the curb. You looked up as Jay put it in the park. "Why are we here?"
"Just, stay in the car, okay? I'm gonna be right outside, but I just have something I need to take care of."
"Okay."
You knew this house. You weren't going to tell Jay, but you walked past it every day when going to school because it was shorter than taking the route your parents had taught you to take. Jay was the one who actually taught you to take this route three years ago when he had walked you to school after Ben's death. But, he told you never to take this way to or from school when you were alone. But, seeing as it was five minutes faster and you were a teenager and cherished every second of sleep, you didn't listen and took this way every single school day.
Jay got out of the car and leaned up against it. Then, he opened his container of chocolate on chocolate birthday cake and began to eat it. You knew what he was doing. It was the reason he had taken this route to school with you. He told you it was because it was faster, but you knew it was because he wanted to tail Lonnie Rodiger...which you assumed was the reason why he didn't want you walking here alone. Because a pedophile lived here. Well, technically he wasn't a pedophile yet because he wasn't convicted, but you had heard enough conversations between Jay, Gail, and Danny when they all thought you were out of earshot to know that Lonnie was the one who killed your childhood best friend.
You saw Lonnie peak out through the curtains of one of the windows. And, if it weren't for Jay's water bottle that was sitting in the cupholder that you quickly took a swig of, you would've choked on your bite of cake.
A patrol car pulled up across the street and a uniformed cop came out. It was the same kind of uniform that Jay had been wearing the night you ran over to the Corson's house when it became a crime scene. You quickly wiped the few tears away at the memory of that night. If Jay got arrested, you knew you'd have to go with him because you couldn't drive. And, you didn't want to be crying in the back of a cop car while Jay was trying to talk his way out of an arrest.
Jay resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course, they called the cops! Of course, they did! They'd call the cops and arrest him for harassing a pedophile and a killer, but they wouldn't arrest Lonnie for being a pedophile and a killer.
"Can I see your driver's license?" the patrolman asked.
Jay lifted his shirt, revealing his badge and gun. Despite being off duty, he had it. He always had it when he came around the Rodiger house. If Lonnie struck first, then he'd have him on assaulting an officer...and have an excuse to kill the son of a bitch. It would be in self-defense after all. He feared serious bodily harm.
But, of course, that wasn't going to happen, not today anyway.
"Halstead. Intelligence," Jay answered.
"This is harassment!" Phil Rodiger yelled as marched outside and pointed at Jay, Lonnie right behind him.
"Just eating some birthday cake," Jay said, poking the cake with his plastic fork. "Today would've been a birthday."
You felt your lip begin to tremble.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, you kept telling yourself.
But, it was no use. It was just those three words: would have been.
It would have been Ben's fourteenth birthday if he was still here and if he wasn't buried in the ground in the cemetery, a high collared shirt on to hide the strangulation marks that Lonnie gave him when he wrapped a rope around his neck and pulled, choking him to death.
If he were still here, he would've had a birthday party. It might have been small with only a few people. You might not even have been invited because you're in middle school and middle schoolers like to talk. And, maybe, if you had been invited, people would have said that he had a crush on you and teased him about it.
Maybe, the early stages of puberty would have hit Ben by now and he would have become what you deemed to be cute. Maybe, he would've had a crush on you and you would've had a crush on him if he was still around. But, he would forever be stuck in your head as your best friend, no romantic feelings whatsoever, since he only lived to be eleven years old.
"Arrest him!" Phil Rodiger yelled, snapping you out of your thoughts. "Get him out of here!"
This was it. Maybe the patrolman wouldn't notice you were in the car and you could sneak back home in a few minutes and call Erin, get her to talk to Voight about getting your brother out of lockup. (Yes, you had Erin's number because you needed questions answered that would make your dad and Jay uncomfortable. Even though Will was a doctor, there was no way you would ask him about girl stuff, even though you were pretty sure he had heard and seen it all in New York.)
"Sorry, pal," the patrolman said.
Okay, so you wouldn't be dragged into the back of a patrol car and also wouldn't have to help Jay beat a charge. Thank god your brother was a part of Chicago's famous Intelligence Unit.
You set your cake on the dashboard. You couldn't take it anymore. If Jay wasn't going to say it, you would.
Jay heard the passenger side door open and whipped his head around. "Y/N," he warned. "Get back in the car."
"He killed my best friend, Jay!" you yelled, tears running down your cheeks. "What do you want me to do? Sit in the car and watch him just get away with it?"
The patrolman's eyes grew wide. Seeing that made you realize what you had just said.
You just accused Lonnie of murder.
"Y/N!" Jay yelled. You looked up to see that he had thrown his cake on the ground. "Get back in the car!"
Okay, so Jay's scary when he's angry, noted.
You made your way around the car and into the passenger seat. Then, you just watched as Jay talked to the patrolman, trying to sort this all out.
You didn't mean to do it. It just came out.
You fucked up. Maybe you were going to be the one arrested this time. And, since you weren't a cop, there'd be no way to easily get out of those handcuffs.
You put your head in your hands and changed the radio station, trying your best to make sure you didn't hear the conversation between Jay and the patrolman.
Soon, the patrolman sped off. You were safe. But, Lonnie and Phil were still standing across the street, outside, watching Jay, watching you.
"Get outta here!" Phil yelled.
Jay was almost to the car when he turned around, rage painted on his freckled face. "Three years ago today, Lonnie! Three years! He would've been fourteen! Fourteen!"
"I'm gonna call my lawyer! I'm getting a restraining order!" Phil promised.
"Yeah? Well, I'm gonna give you a reason to need one someday! You and your sick-ass son!"
He slammed the door shut, but you didn't look at him, just kept your gaze on the world outside the passenger side. Jay turned the key and his car roared to life. You heard him sigh, but didn't say a word.
"Look, I'm sorry," he began as he started driving.
"So you get to confront him but when I try it's all get back in the car, Y/N?" you quoted his words from earlier using a mocking tone.
"Lonnie's fu- he's messed up in the head, okay? I don't want him to have any reason to come after you. We both know what he did to Ben and I wish we could nail him on that, but right now, with the evidence that there is, it just can't happen. I'm sorry, I just wanted to keep you safe. I couldn't live with myself if that psycho did anything to you."
"I guess you have a point."
"I always have a point."
Ten minutes later you pulled up to the cemetery. Jay grabbed the small bag of tools and you carried the flowers, not without being warned every thirty seconds not to tip them at all so that they didn't fall out. It was the same thing as when you'd plant them at your mom's grave: you'd always be the one to carry the flowers, but they'd always warn you to be careful with them and then say that you weren't carrying them next year...and then they'd forget they'd said that and the process would repeat itself.
"I'll dig up the first bit of dirt and then you can help me. The top part's always the hardest," Jay said once you had made it to Ben's grave and he started rummaging through the tools.
"Okay." You didn't know what else to say. You just stared at the headstone. You wished he'd just come back to as a ghost or spirit or something for a minute--literally just sixty seconds--so that he could tell you that Lonnie did it.
Twenty minutes later, you and Jay stood up and admired your work. There were flowers there already from the Corson family, but the blue gave even more color to the normally dismal place.
"I'm gonna go find a trash can," Jay said as he picked up the empty plastic pots that the flowers came in. "Give you some time alone."
You nodded, not knowing what to say. Even when Jay left you had no idea what to say. It had been three years, so you didn't feel like you needed to talk to Ben. After all, if he was in heaven, he was looking down on you and knew what was going on in your life, so there was no reason to tell him about it. And, he was a kid, so he had to have gone to heaven, right?
"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."
You heard thunder rumble from above, which drowned out the sound of your choked sobs. The grass beside you started to get wet from the drizzle that had just started, but by how many seconds there were between each clap of thunder, you knew a downpour was just a matter of minutes away.
So many things could have gone differently that night. If Ben had come over to your house to spend the night, he'd still be here. You knew you couldn't change anything. Hell, you didn't even talk about having a sleepover that night, that week, or even that weekend. And, the night he was murdered was a school night, so your dad wouldn't have let Ben spend the night anyway. There was nothing you could have done.
Despite how many years passed, you wondered if you wouldn't have fallen asleep so fast that night if you would have been able to hear screams and called 911 for help. Maybe he'd still be alive if you couldn't fall asleep that night. Maybe, if Jay was off-duty that day and if there was a Blackhawks game on that night, he would've come over and you would've insisted on staying up late and ended up falling asleep on the couch. But, because of Jay being very observant, maybe he would've seen something, heard something, or even just felt that something was very wrong and could've stopped it and arrested Lonnie before it ended tragically.
You felt something wrap around your arms and looked up to see that Jay was back. You felt goosebumps on your body and that's when you realized your hair was sopping wet and water was dripping down the side of your face and was soaking your jeans and shirt.
You heard the pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the large umbrella that Jay usually stowed in his trunk and pulled Jay's jean jacket that he just laid over your shoulders tighter around yourself.
He picked up his tools and turned to you. "You ready? Can't have you getting sick."
"How long have I just been crouched here?" you asked. You knew your thoughts sometimes got the best of you and before you knew it, an hour could've passed when your mind was focused on one subject.
"Until I thought you were going to freeze to death and get sick. And, it's only been about fifteen minutes. I ran to the bathroom and then grabbed the umbrella out of the car. You ready?" he repeated.
You wiped your eyes, not knowing if it was dried tears or dried raindrops on your cheeks. "Uh, yeah."
Jay picked up the bag of tools and you walked back to the car, the umbrella being big enough for both of you to fit underneath.
Once in the car, you slipped off Jay's jean jacket and tried to hand it back to him. "No, at least wear it until we get home. Dad'll kill me if he sees that you're sopping wet and then he'll think that I just left you out in the rain."
"Brother of the year." And, despite the circumstances, both of you laughed.
***
Math homework is due tomorrow...why does math have letters anyway? I'm never gonna need this in life. Snap out of it, Y/N. You can focus on that later. Just focus on the walk home. You have to be careful now since you're walking by their house.
You tried to turn your attention to the world ahead of you, or more accurately, the road and houses in front of you. You needed to be on high alert since you were about to walk past the Rodiger house. And, they saw you now...hopefully, they hadn't filed a restraining order against you, too. As far as you knew, it was just Jay, but you didn't need to have Jay get you out of trouble today.
Your eyes darted across the street to the house, while you tried to make sure you didn't cast your glance there too long as to be suspicious. It was Jay's job to be suspicious while walking past this house. It was your job to get to and from school safely when walking past this house. You'd leave the detective/spying/surveillance stuff to Jay.
You tried to focus on the road straight ahead of you, but it was no use when you saw movement out of the left side of your peripheral vision.
You turned and gasped. They turned too, and now you were frozen in place.
He widened his creepy eyes and stared back at you, like a deer caught in the headlights, like a criminal caught in the act because right now, that's what you assumed he was.
You felt your breath catch in your throat, neither of you breaking eye contact.
Then, you took off running. No way in hell were you telling your dad what just happened. One time he caught you walking home this way and said if he found out that you walked to or from school this way again that you'd be grounded for an undisclosed amount of time.
No one needed to know that you had just seen Lonnie Rodiger with duct tape and rope, the two things everyone assumed he had used to kill Ben Corson. No one needed to know. Just shut your mouth and don't tell anyone and everything would be fine. You would be fine.
***
Jay was sitting across from Antonio at Molly's, slowly sipping on the bit of whiskey left in his glass. "You knew the family?" Antonio asked him.
"He's the younger brother of a girl I dated in high school. Was Y/N's best friend, too. And his parents, Danny and Gail, they came to my graduation from the academy." When my dad wouldn't because he hates all my life choices. Probably hates me, too, Jay wanted to add but stopped himself. "I still see 'em on what would be Ben's birthday. Y/N comes too and god, you know what she asked me this year, Antonio?" Antonio shook his head. "She asked me if their birthdays or the day they died gets easier when it rolls around every year. She's thirteen! She shouldn't have to remember his birthday. Ben should be alive and Y/N should be seeing him on his birthday. But now all she probably remembers on his birthday is seeing his lifeless body lying in the grass...that's probably what she remembers." He took another sip of whiskey.
"Wait, you're saying your little sister saw the body at the crime scene?" Antonio asked.
"Uh, yeah. Me and my partner were first on scene. And...I see a shoe. I push the reeds back because Gail used to have this huge garden with really nice grass, reeds, flowers, other things. And, now she doesn't because it reminds her too much of that night.
"But uh, anyway, I pushed those reeds back..." He swallowed and tried to keep the tears at bay. He couldn't cry. Not in front of his mentor; not in front of the detective who got him into Intelligence in the first place, even if it was only because he caught a bullet in the process of trying to help Gabby and everyone's favorite after-shift hangout spot, Molly's. "And there he is. I still see his face."
Antonio took a swig of his beer. "How'd your sister find him?"
"My dad told me later that she had heard and seen the sirens and went to wake him up and then they came over to see what was going on. She was only nine, hell, she even had her teddy bear with her when they came outside. She was small and easy to miss. Before anyone could stop her...she, uh, she ducked under the crime scene tape and she saw him. I will never forget how she screamed out Ben's name.
"Then, I ran over to her and tried to block him from view, but you know as well as I do, Antonio, that seeing a body like that, well the damage is already done. So, then I just took her home and my partner explained the situation to my sergeant so that I didn't get in trouble for just leaving a crime scene. I never told her about the rape, just that he was dead. She probably put the pieces together that he was raped since she's gotten older, but I didn't heave the heart to tell her."
Antonio nodded. If he was in the same position as Jay was and Gabby was in your position, he knew he'd do the same exact thing. "I remember his dad alibied him out," Antonio stated. "But, they never had anything on Lonnie. Nothing?"
"No," Jay scoffed. "They caught him jerkin' it outside an elementary school a week prior to finding Ben. They found fucking kiddie porn on his computer. A-And secret pictures that he'd taken of Ben."
"You gotta be kidding me."
"Nuh-uh. We all knew Lonnie did it. But, you know, his dad lied." Jay shrugged. "And, uh, they got a good lawyer for that sick of a bitch."
Jay took a sip of his whiskey, blinking back tears. Antonio sighed and looked at the young detective. "Hey, be careful. You hear me?"
"I know, I just--" Jay was cut off by his phone ringing. He looked at it. Why's Dad calling at 11 o'clock at night? Why is Dad calling me at all?
He declined the call.
"Who was that?" Antonio asked.
"Not important. Anyway, I'll be care--" His phone started ringing again. "Dammit," he muttered and then pressed the answer icon. "Yeah?"
"J-Jay?"
"Y/N? What are you still doing up? Don't you have school tomorrow?"
"I didn't want to tell you because you and Dad always tell me not to walk there by myself, but I saw him and he saw me and I thought I'd be fine but now I can't sleep and--"
"Whoa, whoa. Take a breath, okay?"
You took a deep, shaky breath as few tears slipped down your face. You tried not to think about your encounter with Lonnie earlier today, but as you tried to sleep and the darkness took over the world, you couldn't stop your thoughts from running rampant. What if he was going to use that duct tape and rope on you now because he had seen you? Kill all the witnesses so that there wouldn't be a trial and he wouldn't get convicted?
"Now, tell me again what happened," Jay said calmly, all his cop instincts taking over and talking to as if you were a victim for the time being. "This time slower."
"I took the way home from school that you taught me to take and tell me to never take alone--"
"Y/N," Jay wiped a hand over his face. "Me and Dad told you not to go that way by yourself."
"I know, but I saw Lonnie and he had supplies and he saw me. I thought it was fine but now I can't sleep and--"
"Y/N," Jay started again. "Slow. Down. You saw Lonnie?"
At the mention of that name, Antonio looked up.
"Yeah," you answered, trying to slow your rate of speaking. "He had- he had rope and duct tape. And- and he saw me. I'm scared. I'm so scared, Jay. What if he comes after me now?" You covered your mouth with your hand to stop your dad from hearing your sobs. You assumed he was sleeping, and if he wasn't you hoped he didn't notice that you were on the phone. All he had to do was pick it up and see line in use and then you'd be in trouble for walking that way.
"Y/N, listen to me. I'm not gonna let that happen. I'm gonna leave Molly's right now and then be over there. Are you in your room?"
"Yeah."
"Is Dad still up?" Jay asked.
"I-I don't know."
"Okay, just stay put and I'll be there as soon as I can. And, we can explain it to Dad together, alright?"
"Okay. You promise you'll be here soon?"
"I promise. I'm leaving Molly's right now."
"Okay."
"I'm gonna hang up now."
"Okay, bye Jay."
Jay ended the call and started putting on his jacket. "What was that all about?" Antonio asked.
"Y/N took the fastest route home from school today, which goes by the Rodiger place. She said she saw Lonnie and he had duct tape and rope with him. He saw her, Antonio."
"Shit." Antonio pulled out his wallet and threw a few bills on the table. "I got it. I'll be right behind you."
"Thanks, man."
***
Jay slowly turned the key in the lock and opened the door, Antonio following him. "Dad?" Jay asked.
"Jay?" he answered from the living room, sounding as if he had just woken up from falling asleep in front of the tv. "What are you doing here?"
"I can explain if you wanna go check on Y/N, Jay," Antonio suggested.
"Yeah, yeah that'd be great. Thanks, man."
You heard knocking at your door, causing you to draw in a deep breath. "Y/N? Open up, it's Jay."
You set Beary down--yes when you were scared you still liked to have your Build-A-Bear in your hand because it gave you comfort--and then stood up from your bed to open the door.
"Jay." You launched yourself into his arms before he could even comprehend what was happening. "I'm so scared. What if he comes after me?"
Jay wrapped his arms around you and ran his hand up and down your back, just like he had done a few years ago when he had brought you back home after you had seen Ben's lifeless body lying in the grass. "Shhh, shhh it's okay. You're okay." Now he was most definitely using the tone he used when talking to child victims.
"What if he- what if he comes after me though, Jay?" you asked, soaking his shirt with tears of fright.
"Hey," he pulled away. "Look at me." You looked up at your older brother. "I will not let that happen. Ever. You understand me?" You nodded. "Now, how about you pack a bag, and then you can stay at my place until this all blows over."
"Why?"
Jay sighed. "Just, please do it."
You pulled out a peach-colored duffle from your closet.
"I'll be right downstairs if you need me."
He walked downstairs to see your dad still sitting on the living room couch with Antonio sitting in the chair across from him. "I'm taking Y/N to my place for a few days until this whole thing gets sorted out," Jay announced.
"She was walking that way because you taught her how to take it!" Pat Halstead bellowed as he stood up off the couch and pointed an accusing finger at his youngest son. "If you had never walked that way when you took her to school, then we would never be in this position!"
"We?" Jay asked rhetorically. "I don't recall Y/N telling me that you were with her when she saw that sick son of bitch walking home with his weapons of choice! It's Y/N that's in this position! Not me, not you, not us, Y/N."
"She's my daughter!"
"Yeah, I gathered that," Jay scoffed. "At least you care about her...unlike how you weren't there for me and Will. Or, if my memory serves me correctly, it was when I was in my early teens when you stopped caring. So, I expect in the next two years that you'll stop taking good care of Y/N and stop showing up to her games, like you did for me and Will. Oh, and you'll start questioning her life choices, just like you did almost every damn day to both me and Will."
"It's not my fault that you made a stupid decision with your life and Will decided to leave and waste all his money and to do what? To go to Sudan and then to New York?"
"There you go again, same old same old. You want us to be here, but whenever we are, we just end up fighting."
"Okay, okay," Antonio butted in. "How about we all take a breath and then talk about what's gonna happen next."
Jay took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. Your dad sat back down on the couch and crossed his arms in front of him.
"Good," Antonio began. "Y/N give you anything else about what she saw upstairs other than what she told you over the phone?"
"No," Jay answered. "She just told me that she's really scared that Lonnie's gonna come after her. Noting more about what she saw."
"Jay?" you asked as you poked your head into the living room, duffle bag slung over your shoulder. "I'm ready."
You said goodbye to your dad and then followed Jay to your car. He explained that Antonio was going to come to his apartment just for a little while so that they could discuss how they were going to proceed with the information you had given them. But, that you should go to sleep when you got to his apartment because it was a school night.
"Do I have to go to school tomorrow?" you whined as you set your bag down next to the couch...which would also be your bed until all this was cleared up.
"I know you're not going to get a lot of sleep, but yeah, as much as it sucks, you have to go to school tomorrow."
It was nearing 12:30 and you had to be up for school at 6:00 since school started before 7:30 in the morning. You'd be lucky if you managed five hours of sleep.
"Please, Jay," you begged. "My first two classes are just choir and gym, so I can miss those. And, I'm pretty sure if you called me in it'd count as an excused absence. Please?"
"Fine," Jay conceded. "But just because I think it's stupid how early school starts."
You heard a knock on the door. "Be right there, Antonio!" Jay said, trying to keep his yelling voice at somewhat of a normal level since people in the other apartments were sleeping.
"I'm gonna go grab a blanket," you told Jay.
You grabbed a blanket and threw it on the couch as Jay went to answer the door and let Antonio inside.
"Jay, I'm stealing one of your pillows," you told him as you entered his bedroom area.
"Actually, you can take my bed for tonight," he suggested.
You cocked an eyebrow at him. In all the nights you had spent at Jay's apartment in the past few years when your dad had to work late or went out, you had always slept on that couch. And, it was because it was actually comfortable. (Jay's reasoning was that he didn't want to get one of his nightmares that happened a handful of times per year and break his hand from hitting the coffee table in his sleep because he was thinking that it was an enemy because he thought he was back in Afghanistan. But, of course, you didn't know that.)
"It's just because I need to talk to Antonio and I don't need you having easy access to the conversation."
You nodded, tiredness overtaking you. "Alright." You yawned. "I'm going to bed. 'Night guys."
Jay and Antonio both said goodnight and then you walked into Jay's bedroom area and slid the sliding doors closed. During that time, the two detectives each took a seat at the kitchen table.
"We can put a patrol car out in front of Lonnie's house," Jay suggested.
"You know we can't do that," Antonio told him.
"Well, why not? You know he's gonna kill again!" Jay resisted the urge to slam his fist down on the table.
"You have no solid proof. I know you believe Y/N, and I do, too, but we don't have proof. If we had cam or pod footage, we might be able to do that. But, as far as we know, we don't have that. Nothing's been reported or called in. Hell, for all we know Lonnie's doing a DIY project."
"So get his credit card records and security footage from the store," Jay growled.
"You know as well as I do Halstead, that we can't do that without a warrant. And for a warrant, we're gonna need sufficient evidence. And, the word of your sister just isn't gonna cut it this time. Sorry, man."
Jay sighed and put his head in his hands, then looked back up at Antonio. "I just can't let him do it. I can't let him kill another kid."
"I know. Believe me, neither you nor me want that, but for now, we just need to wait until the right time. And you, need to get some sleep."
"I guess you're right. Maybe sleep would help me figure out how to solve this thing."
***
Jay had just dropped you off at school--he had called the school and excused your absences from your first two classes--and was walking out of a small coffee shop a few blocks away from the district when his phone rang.
"What do you got, Jin?" Jay asked. Benefits of working in Intelligence and having a tech guy for the unit: getting him to dig into things under the table.
"That Lonnie Rodiger credit card you wanted me to track," Jin started on the other end of the line, "Just got a hit from a toy store downtown."
"Text me the address."
A few seconds later, Jin had texted Jay the address and he jumped in his car and made his way into the heart of downtown Chicago.
Then, he sat in his car and stared at the store, waiting for the scrawny, creepy-ass pedophile slash murderer to make his way out of it.
When Lonnie walked out, Jay just stared at him. If he got made, so what? He was in his car. He could say he was doing surveillance for another case that he couldn't talk about right now because it was an open investigation. But, he wouldn't be able to blame surveillance of an ongoing investigation for strangling Lonnie to death, killing him the exact same way as he had killed Ben Corson three years ago.
Lonnie was carrying a bag full of what Jay assumed were toys. The toys, the rope, the duct tape, Lonnie was going to strike again. And, Jay had to act fast to ensure that another kid didn't get their life taken away just because this bastard had sick, twisted fantasies.
Jay was about to call Jin back, see what else he could pull up on him, anything that gave him an excuse to call Atwater and Burgess to arrest him. But, his phone rang.
"Go for Jay," he answered.
"Where you at?" Voight asked on the other end of the line. "I know you came in late because of your sister, but I need you now."
"I'm on my way in," he lied.
"Good. We're in Chinatown. I'll send you the address."
"Oh, Sarge?"
"Yes, Halstead?"
"Do you mind if I leave for a bit around 2:15ish? It's just, Y/N has a doctor's appointment and my dad's working and I don't want her taking the bus--"
"Jay," Voight interrupted, "Take your sister to her appointment. I'll just send the address of where we're gonna be if we aren't at the district. Just, keep your phone on."
"Thanks, Sarge."
Of course, that appointment was a lie; Jay just wanted to pick you up from school and then drop you off at his apartment while he went back to work so that you wouldn't be at home where Lonnie could find you. But, Jay had to push that out of his mind right now because he was on another case with his unit that needed solving, his side case on Lonnie Rodiger needed to be put on the backburner...at least for the next few hours.
***
"Lonnie Rodiger's credit card," Jin said as Jay entered the tech room.
"Yeah, I know, I'm working on a court order so I don't get my ass handed to me by Voight, I know," Jay replied.
"Okay...you deal with that. All I was gonna say was that another hit came up from his card at a Home Depot in Humboldt Park. He bought..." Jin clicked some keys on his computer until the list of things Lonnie purchased popped up. "A two-person tent, a kerosene lamp, and some bug spray. A rapist-murderer planning a camping trip? Not much you can get him on with just that."
"Any chance he purchased rope and duct tape?" Jay asked.
Jin scrolled through the list of items again. "Not that I see here. Why?"
"Not important. Thanks for the help, Jin."
Jay walked back into the bullpen, about to grab his jacket and head into the locker room when Voight emerged from his office at the same time. "Halstead, my office."
"I told you to let the Rodiger thing go months ago," Voight told Jay when the door was securely shut.
"I have...for the most part." I have...until my sister got involved and told me he bought duct tape and rope and now she's staying at my place so that I can protect her from that sick-ass son of a bitch.
"If you're not straight with me, I can't protect you."
"You? Protect me? I don't need protecting, Sarge, but thanks for the offer. I'll keep it in mind if I  ever go off the rails and kill someone."
"Jay, listen to me! What the hell is going on with you? You got here later than usual today, which I know you said is because of your sister, but you look exhausted like you haven't slept in days. And don't think I didn't notice that you've been constantly checking your phone when we weren't out in the field."
Jay sighed. "I think Lonnie's gonna kill another kid."
"Jay, I know that kid's family was like your own. But, you gotta be careful. You've got eyes on you. And, it's not just me this time."
"Copy that." Then, Jay exited his sergeant's office, grabbed his jacket off his chair, and headed to the locker room. Damn, did he really want to go home after that conversation with his boss.
"You headin' to Molly's, Jay?" Adam asked as they grabbed their stuff from the locker room.
"Nah, man. I got some stuff I gotta take care of," Jay replied. "Maybe another night."
"If you say so."
***
You were sitting on the couch reading a book when you heard a knock at Jay's apartment door. "Y/N, it's Jay, open up."
You got up and unlocked the door, letting him into his own apartment. "Why didn't you just unlock it yourself? Or, did I get your only key?
"Nope, you got my spare. I have mine." He pulled his keyring out of the front pocket of his jeans and set it down on the counter. "Just didn't want to scare you is all."
"Thanks, greatly appreciated. What are you hiding behind your back? And what smells so good?" you asked, seeing as Jay hadn't moved his left hand from behind his back and was trying really hard to make sure you didn't see what was there. Even when he had walked inside the apartment from the hallway, he still somehow hid it behind his back and out of your view. And, the smell of greasy food was starting to waft around the apartment so you had a pretty good idea what he was hiding.
He pulled a takeout bag from behind his back. "I got us Arby's!"
"Really? Did you get me mozzarella sticks?" you asked trying to grab the bag from him, but he held it out of your reach.
Jay chuckled at your excitement. "Yes, I got you mozzarella sticks. Now, let me get this out of the bag and you can get the game set up?"
"Okay!" You sat on the couch and turned on the Blackhawks game that was going to start in five minutes. "It's ready!"
"Be right there!"
A minute later, Jay passed you a plate which contained an original roast beef and cheddar sandwich and of course, your precious mozzarella sticks and a few packs of Arby's and marinara sauce.
"Uh," Jay groaned as he lowered himself onto the couch.
"You're getting old," you laughed.
"I am not!" he protested.
"Yes, you are! Only old people sigh like that when they go to sit down!"
"Well, excuse me for having to chase psychos around the city for a living." You reached over and grabbed a few curly fries off his plate, hoping he was distracted enough by your old Jay comment that he didn't notice...he did. "Hey!"
"Oops." You squirted some Arby's sauce on your plate and dipped a curly fry in it. "Good." Jay just continued to stare at you. "Fine, here," you said as you handed him a mozzarella stick.
"You're not gonna offer me any marinara?"
You tossed him a pack. "Better?"
"Better." Both he and you turned your attention to the tv. "Remember, end of the second period, it's bedtime."
"Jay," you whined. "Please can I stay up and watch the entire game?"
"No, because I am not calling you in late tomorrow and getting to work later than usual because of it." Luckily today we didn't catch a case until around 10 o'clock this morning, so it didn't matter that I was late and tailing Lonnie anyway. "And, you're gonna be a grouch if you don't enough sleep."
"Jay! I am not grouchy!"
"Yes, Y/N, you are! Whoa, a fight!" And while your attention was quickly focused on the tv, Jay stole some of his curly fries back.
***
Jay walked into the district the next morning to be met with Erin and Alvin. "Did you guys catch the game last night?" he asked them as he slipped off his jacket and slung it over his desk chair. "Eighteen seconds into overtime, Kane scores a backhander. Guy's on fire this season."
Despite Jay telling you that you needed to go to bed after the end of the second period, the game was so good that he let you stay up to watch it all...the one caveat being that you had to get up in the morning with no complaint. And, you didn't complain one single time even though you almost fell asleep with your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth when you were getting ready this morning.
Neither Erin nor Alvin had said anything, they just stared at Jay with worried looks on both their faces. "What's with you two?" Jay furrowed his eyebrows and walked closer to them.
"Halstead," Voight said after he opened his office door.
Jay's eyes widened. Shit, what'd I do now?
"Commander," Jay said as he saw Commander Perry standing in Voight's office. So, even when I'm a grown man, there's still a version of the principal's office. Who knew? Except, this principal controls my job...which means he controls my money. Whatever he thinks I did, it wasn't me.
"Halstead. Have a seat," Commander Perry told the detective.
"I'll stand." Jay placed his hands on his hips.
"Okay then. Where were you last night after shift?"
"Home. Why?"
"So, you're telling me you didn't go out at all last night?"
"I started to drive home from work, but then I turned around because I thought my little sister might want Arby's for dinner. If you want to count a drive-thru as going out, then yes I went out."
"And after that?" Commander Perry prodded.
"Me and my sister watched the Hawks game and I was in bed by midnight."
Commander Perry picked up some black and white photos that were taken from traffic cam footage and held them out to Jay, pointing at specific a specific car. "This was taken last night, right as you pulled into that Arby's. That's Rodiger and that's you, right behind him."
"Okay, so I happened to be getting my takeout behind a pedophile. Maybe he just wanted some curly fries, Lord knows Y/N did when she stole some of mine last night."
"Halstead!" Voight barked. "This isn't a laughing matter! Now shut up and listen!"
Jay clasped his hands behind his back.
"Well, Detective, your alleged pedophile was found dead this morning."
"What?"
"So until this is straightened out, I suggest you find a better excuse than just watching a hockey game and eating fries with your impressionable little sister. Until then, you are officially stripped. Expect a call from Internal Affairs. They'll want to interview you as soon as possible."
"You mean they'll want to interrogate me as soon as possible."
"Jay!" Voight's voice boomed off the walls of the small office.
"I'm the one who wanted to stop that freak! And now I'm the target? Unbelievable!"
Jay flung open the door and was about to storm out when the Commander stopped him. "Halstead!"
"What? I tried to save my sister from this psycho because she saw him buy duct tape and rope and he knows that she saw him! So, excuse me for trying to make sure that my sister stays safe and doesn't end up like Ben Corson!"
"Y/N saw something?" Voight asked. "Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you."
"I told Antonio, but that's only because we were at Molly's when Y/N called me freaking out. And that's why she's staying with me because Lonnie knows where we live and I didn't want to get a call saying that my sister was murdered and--"
"Halstead, if that's the truth then this isn't just based on your word. We have a witness now. So, I'll talk to Detective Dawson and you go pick up your sister from school. We need her here for questioning. But, you are still stripped until we get this all sorted out."
***
"Can you please send Y/N Halstead to the office please?" the office secretary's voice came over your classroom intercom. "She'll be leaving for the rest of the day."
You furrowed your eyebrows. Leaving for the rest of the day? What? The last time you had to leave for the rest of the day unexpectedly was when your mom died.
"I'll send her down," your teacher replied.
"Alright, thank you." Then, she turned to you. "I'll have your missed work ready for you on Monday, Y/N, and I can email the other teachers you have today that you'll be missing their classes as well if you'd like?"
"That'd be great. Thank you."
"Have a great weekend, Y/N."
"Thank you. You too."
Then, you grabbed your books and made your way to your locker. Once you put everything you needed into your backpack, you made your way to the office. At least you were missing math and science class...you hated both of those subjects. Will got the brains when it came to those two.
But, your relief was short-lived when you saw Kim Burgess and Kevin Atwater standing in the office. You frantically pulled the door open. "Did something happen to Jay? Is he okay? Did he get hurt?"
"No, no, nothing like that," Kim quickly reassured you. "We just need to bring you down to the district is all."
"Why?" you asked, drawing out the word.
"It's better if your brother and Voight explain this to you. But, you are not in any trouble, Jay's not in any trouble, and he's fine," Kevin answered.
"Okay..."
They quickly signed you out and the three of you made your way to the parking lot where their squad car was parked. "Ever been in a patrol car, Y/N?" Kevin asked.
"No," you answered, opening the door to the backseat and throwing your backpack in.
"Well, today's your lucky day. We'll even let you control the music." The three of you got in and Kevin turned on the car and started fiddling with the controls on the radio. "Just tell me to stop when you hear a song you like."
***
"Jay!" you yelled as you ran up the stairs to Intelligence, your backpack bouncing up and down with every step you took. Jay walked out of the break room. You ran to him, narrowly missing Commander Perry. "What's going on? I didn't know I'd need to leave school and then Kim and Kevin came to pick me up and I thought you might be hurt but they said you weren't and--"
"Whoa, whoa," Jay cut you off. "Y/N, slow down. I'm okay. Everything's okay. Voight and Commander Perry here just need to ask you a couple of questions."
"But, I didn't do anything wrong."
"You're not in trouble, kid," Voight said. "Like your brother said, we just need to ask you a few questions and Jay will be with you the whole time."
Since neither Jay nor Voight could get ahold of your dad to get permission to talk to you, they had allowed Jay to sign off on it. And, since you were a minor, the person who signed that paperwork had to be in the room with you the entire time they were talking to you.
"You hungry?" Commander Perry asked as you sat down and Jay stood behind you. "You can grab a snack from the vending machine before we start if you'd like."
It was only 9:00 am. "No thank you," you replied. "I had breakfast a few hours ago and I'm still full from that. Thank you, though."
"You're welcome." He and Voight sat down across from you. "Now, you're probably wondering why you're here," Commander Perry started. "Your brother mentioned that you saw Lonnie Rodiger buy rope and duct tape?"
Your eyes widened and you drew in a breath. "Is he after me? Did he try and break into mine and Dad's house, Jay, because he was looking for me?"
"No, it's nothing like that," the commander interjected before you got worked up even more. "We just wanted to ask you what you saw is all."
You looked to Jay and he nodded, giving you the go-ahead to tell the two men what you had seen when you were walking home from school a few days ago. So, you did just that. You told them about walking home from school and seeing Lonnie with rope and duct tape and him seeing you.
"And you told your brother this?" Commander Perry asked.
"Uh, yeah, I wasn't going to tell him because I didn't want him to freak out or anything, but he always told me that if I saw anything off with Lonnie to tell him. And, I couldn't sleep that night, so I called him really late and he and Antonio came over."
"And what happened next?"
"Jay said that he wanted me to stay at his house until this all blew over because Lonnie saw me. He saw me. And, he knows where I live."
"So, Jay was trying to keep you safe?"
You nodded. "He's even been picking me up from school because he doesn't want me going home--to mine and my dad's place that is--to wait for him to pick me up after he's done with work. He's worried about me."
"Did he do anything else? Take you anywhere in the two days you've been staying with him?"
"No, nowhere other than school."
"Do anything fun?"
"He brought home Arby's last night and he let me stay up late and finish the Blackhawks game! Dad never lets me do that! And, they even won in overtime! And, I stole some of his curly fries."
"Do you know if he left last night after you went to bed?" Commander Perry asked.
"No, he didn't."
"And how can you be so sure about that? You were sleeping weren't you?"
Jay clenched his fists at his sides. You were a kid and this wasn't a trial, it was just getting a statement from you, not putting you on the witness stand.
"Jay never leaves me when he watches me at night. Never has and probably never will. Even when his girlfriend called when he watched me when I was little, he'd either make her come over to our house or would tell her that he was playing with me."
Voight chuckled at how you were spilling bits and pieces of Jay's life before he became a cop and entered his unit. He knew that Jay would never tell him these things, so it was funny hearing how protective and soft the big-shot detective of one of the most elite units of Chicago was with his little sister.
"Okay, thank you," Commander Perry said. "Do you know why we're asking you these questions?"
You shook your head, no.
"Halstead, you want to explain this. We'll butt in if needed," he said. He didn't know how much you knew about this alleged pedophile and murderer, so he figured it would be best to hand Jay the lead on the explanation portion.
Jay sat down in the chair next to you. "Y/N, you're not in trouble. I promise you that."
"You already told me that," you pointed out.
"I know, but I wanted to tell you again."
You furrowed your eyebrows and cocked your head to the side. "Then, why are they asking me questions about Lonnie and about you? Did he kill someone again? Like he did to Ben?"
Jay swallowed. He wasn't about to tell you the details of how someone murdered Lonnie Rodiger. Despite knowing the details of Ben's murder, you didn't need more gruesome pictures of murder in your teenage mind. "Um, Lonnie was found dead last night."
"And they think you did it, don't they?"
Jay's jaw dropped, all his years of being a stone-faced Army ranger and detective flying out the window as you quickly put the pieces together of why you were being talked to by his sergeant and commander. "What? How- Why would you assume that?"
"Dad's not good with turning his Law and Order down when he watches it at night so sometimes when I can't fall asleep, I'll listen to it and I'll hear the interrogation or trial scenes." You shrugged. Then, you turned your attention to Sergeant Voight and Commander Perry. "If you think my brother did it, I can tell you that he didn't because he was home with me all night. I even woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and he was asleep on the couch with his mouth open and he was drooling." You scrunched up your nose in disgust at Jay's sleeping position last night.
"Alright, Sergeant, your unit can investigate this one. But, Halstead, not that I don't believe your sister, but you're still stripped until this gets all sorted out. Go home."
Jay nodded. "C'mon, Y/N. We can go grab lunch or something."
Jay ushered you out of the break room and you grabbed your backpack. "Halstead, what's going on?" Antonio asked, catching you and Jay on your way down the stairs.
"Just, give this case hell for me, Antonio, will you?"
***
"Is it wrong?" you asked Jay when you were driving away from the district. "That I'm glad Lonnie's dead that is?"
Jay sighed. "Listen, I know we shouldn't be glad about someone being dead, but in all honesty, kid, I'm glad he's dead, too."
"Because the world's a safer place?"
"Yeah." And because justice was served for the Corson family, but I'm not gonna talk to my little sister about killing someone for justice...I don't need her to turn into the female version of Hank Voight in twenty years.
"So, were you and Mouse glad when you killed the bad guys over in Afghanistan?"
Oh no, no, no, no, no. I am not about to have this conversation with her. I'm not about to have this conversation with anyone for that matter, much less with my very impressionable, middle-schooler, little sister. "What do you want for lunch? Mcdonalds? Burger King? Wendy's? Pizza Hut?"
"You never answered my question," you told him.
"And you never answered mine. So, what do you want for lunch?"
"Hmmm...I really like the chicken alfredo from Pizza Hut, so can we go there?"
"Pizza Hut it is."
"What are you gonna get? Wait, lemme guess...meat lover's pizza?"
"And, you would be correct."
You arrived at Pizza Hut, which was only half a block away from the Corson's. And, since it was also so close to your school, some high school seniors would come here for lunch...not that you had an open campus at school, but they'd dip out for lunch and then get back unnoticed before their next class. You wondered if you'd be brave enough to do that in high school. You didn't know and you had a few more years until you got to that grade anyway.
"Hey Detective Halstead," a woman greeted Jay.
"Oh, hey Rachelle," Jay said as you both walked up to the counter at Pizza Hut. "How's school going?"
"It's going great actually. And who's this?" she asked, motioning to you.
"This is my little sister, Y/N. Y/N, this is one of my best CIs, Rachelle."
"You're a CI? That's so cool! So you help my brother solve cases? He never tells me about anything he does, so what do you help him with?"
Jay placed a hand on your shoulder. "That's confidential information, kiddo. And don't go blabbing about her being a CI either, because she could get in trouble."
"Got it. She's just someone I know from coming here so much. I have no idea what you're talking about, Jay."
Jay laughed. "Alright, what can I get started for you two?" Rachelle asked.
"Actually, since you're here, I have a quick question for you."
"Okay, let's go around back," she replied, thinking he was going to ask her if she knew anything that might help them with a case.
"No, it's nothing like that. I was just wondering if you'd watch Y/N for a bit while I go run a quick errand? It'd be for twenty, thirty minutes tops."
She looked around the restaurant, it was practically empty. "Yeah, no problem. I can keep an eye on her."
"Awesome thanks. And, uh, she'll have the chicken alfredo and I'll have the meat lover's pizza."
Rachelle rang it up and then told Jay the total. He pulled out his wallet and paid for their food, not without placing a ten-dollar bill in the tip jar. "You didn't have to do that," Rachelle said.
"You're watching Trouble here for a bit, so yeah, I do."
"I am not trouble!" you protested. "Where are you going anyway?"
"Don't worry about it. I'll be back soon."
"But--"
"Hey, Y/N. You want a chocolate chip cookie? I think they just came out of the oven." You frantically nodded your head up and down. "Well, c'mon back here and I'll grab it for you."
She opened the piece of the counter that flipped up and you walked through. Then, she motioned for Jay to leave before you pressed him for more answers on where he was going.
***
"To be honest, I don't feel any sympathy," Danny Corson told Jay as he sat at the kitchen table next to his wife with Jay across from him. "Do the police have any idea who did it?"
Jay had come to the Corson household to tell them the news that Lonnie Rodiger was dead...and to ask Danny some questions that would not go on record.
"We're still trying to piece that together." Jay turned to the red-haired woman. "Gail, do you have ay milk for this?" he asked, holding out his coffee cup."
"Oh, yeah. Let me get it for you," Gail answered.
"Thank you," Jay said to Gail's retreating back as she left the table. Jay turned back to Danny. "They suspended me. They think I did it. So, if you did something, Danny, I need you to tell me now so that we can figure this out together."
"Jay, I have been fantasizing about it for years, but I didn't do it. After all you've done for this family though, if you need me to confess, then I will."
"No, no you will not. I will not let you, or me for that matter, go down for something neither of us did."
"So, you have no idea who did it?"
"At the moment, no."
Jay's phone rang and he held up a finger to tell Danny he'd just be a second. But, then he looked at who was calling him and he practically froze.
"Jay, you okay?" Danny asked.
"Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He accepted the call and placed his phone to his ear. "Rachelle? What's going on? Is Y/N okay?"
"Physically she's fine," she answered. "But, there's this guy yelling at her asking where you are and--"
"Tell me where he is! Your brother! My son is dead because of him!" Jay heard through the phone.
Phil Rodiger.
Jay drew in a breath. "I'm on my way."
He hung up and then turned to Danny and Gail. "I gotta go, I'm sorry. If I find out anything, you'll be the first to know." And then he ran out the door and ran as fast as he ever has to the Pizza Hut half a block away.
***
"He didn't do it!" you yelled. "He was home with me all night!"
"Yeah right! He probably told you to say that!"
"Y/N! Don't say another word!" Jay sprinted over to the booth where you were sitting, your pasta halfway eaten.
"You! You killed him!"
"Phil, we're in a public place. The cops can get called for a disturbance." Jay flicked his eyes to Rachelle and she nodded, picking up her phone.
"Fine! Then let them call the cops! I'll tell them that you killed him! You killed my son!"
He took a step closer to the side of the booth that you were sitting in and Jay quickly placed himself between you and Lonnie Rodiger's father. "You know what? I may have not killed him, but whoever did, did everyone in this world a real favor! Killing a pedophile and a murderer? I'd like to give the guy who killed your sick-ass bastard of a son a medal when they find him!"
"Jay!" you yelled, grabbing the back of his shirt and tugging it so that he would turn his attention back to you.
"Y/N, this is grown-up stuff. Butt out!" He turned back to Phil. "Lonnie brought this on himself and you know it!"
You saw a few people from the Intelligence Unit walking up to the building out of the corner of your eye. "Jay, shut the hell up!"
"You killed him!"
"For the last time, I didn't kill your sorry excuse for a son!"
"Police! Break it up!"
Jay was yanked away from you by none other than Antonio Dawson. Adam and Voight had each grabbed one of Phil's shoulders to keep him at bay. Erin knelt in front of you.
"Are you alright, Y/N?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."
"What the hell, Halstead?" Antonio yelled.
"Wre're taking you in," Voight told Phil Rodiger.
"Am I under arrest?"
"No, we just have some questions about last night we want to ask you is all. Why? Should you be under arrest?"
"No, but he should! I know you did it--"
"We'll talk to him," Voight said. "Don't you worry about that." He turned to Antonio. "You and Lindsay got this, bro?"
"Yeah, we got this," Antonio answered.
Voight nodded and then he and Ruzek escorted Phil Rodiger out of the building.
Antonio waited until Voight's car was safely out of the parking lot, before trying to lead Jay out of the building.
"Dude, I don't need a police escort. I can drive my car back home just fine," Jay protested.
"Jay, just come on. Or do I need to put you in cuffs?" He pulled his handcuffs out of his pocket and allowed them to dangle off his pointer finger.
"Tony, not here," Erin warned. "Not with Y/N watching."
You gasped. They weren't going to arrest Jay, were they? No, they wouldn't. They couldn't.
"Let's just go out to the car," Antonio said.
Once you were all in the car, Antonio driving, Erin in the passenger seat, and you and Jay in the back, did Jay finally address the elephant in the room...or, well, the elephant in the car. "Just so we're clear, I didn't kill Lonnie Rodiger. If I was gonna kill him, I would've done it the night he raped and murdered an eleven-year-old Ben Corson! I was this close, too!"
Your breath caught in your throat. You had assumed he had been raped, hell you had heard Jay talk about it with Gail and Danny, once with your dad, when they thought you were too far out of earshot to hear or thought that you were asleep. But, hearing Jay say it out loud, right in front of you, made it more real than hearing it when you weren't supposed to. And, hearing Jay say that had thoughts about killing Lonnie before...you didn't know how to feel about that. You had wanted him dead, just like Jay had (and how the Corson's probably did as well) but you never thought Jay would actually admit to wanting to kill him, much less say that he had been close to doing it.
"Shit, Y/N, I'm sorry I never told you about that," Jay said, his voice much quieter now. "I just, I didn't know how to tell you and you were ten, so you shouldn't have even known what rape was and I didn't want to explain it to you under those circumstances--"
"I knew," you told him.
"What?" he gasped as he furrowed his eyebrows. "How?"
"I heard you talking to the Corson's once when you thought I couldn't hear you and once when you were talking to Dad when you  both thought that I was asleep."
"Well, either way, I'm sorry you had to hear it from me like this. And, I'm sorry he had to go through that."
"Me too," you whispered.
Erin leaned back and handed Jay a file folder. He raised an eyebrow.
"Lonnie Rodiger's homicide file," Antonio told him. "If anyone asks, no ones knows how you got that."
"That goes for you, too, Y/N. As far as you're concerned, you don't know what a homicide file is."
"What's homicide?" you joked. "I don't even know what that is."
"Works for me," Erin said as Jay flipped open the file.
***
"What'd he say? Jay asked, cornering Antonio in the locker room.
"Not here," Antonio told him and led him to the basement.
Once the two detectives were safely in the basement, Antonio let Jay in on the statement that Phil Rodiger had just given the Intelligence Unit about Lonnie Rodiger's murder.
"Can I run something by you?" Jay asked.
"Shoot."
"So, Phil Rodiger gives his statement, and he says...that his son never came home that night," Jay took a deep breath, hoping he wasn't going to get in trouble for saying this. "But I know he did. I may have not gone straight to my apartment after I got takeout for me and Y/N before we watched the Hawks game together."
"I'll talk to Voight. But, I think Y/N needs some help with homework, so go be the good big brother and do that." Antonio clapped Jay on the back and then started up the stairs.
***
"We're good to go," Antonio told him. "But, we got a problem."
"Which is?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.
"They kicked him."
"The hell do you mean they kicked him?"
"I mean, they don't think he did it. But, Jin's getting a location on him." Antonio's phone binged. "And here is that location. Erin, you riding with me? Halstead will follow. I got the photos."
Erin picked up her coat. "Ruzek, watch the kid, okay?"
"You got it," he answered, walking over to the break room.
"Ruz, please do not corrupt my sister."
"I'm hurt Jay, really. That hurt, man," he joked.
The three detectives left the district and made their way to a bar where Phil Rodiger was sitting and drinking alone. The three had agreed that only Jay should go in so that he wouldn't get spooked and try to run off.
Jay entered the bar and took a seat next to Phil. He sighed and rolled his eyes, but started Jay on his reasoning anyway. "In the statement you gave the detectives, you said that you didn't see Lonnie after 10:00 pm, that he went for a drive and he never came back." Jay placed a photo on the bar in front of Phil. "I was following Lonnie that night, and not long after these pictures were taken, I watched him walk into your house. Lonnie got tired of hunting, so he went home. And according to the time of death, he was killed an hour after I took this photo." Phil Rodiger just stared at the photo as Jay turned his attention away from it and onto Phil. "Your son wasn't killed in the park, was he?"
Phil stood up and brought his face close to Jay's. "You got no idea what you're talking about."
Then, he started to walk away, but Jay got up and followed him. Jay was pretty sure his cop instincts were right once again. "Phil, where you going?" Jay paused and looked at him. Phil was looking at the floor and avoiding eye contact the way only a guilty man would. "You killed him."
"He was sick."
Yeah, we all knew that. Took you long enough, Jay thought to himself.
Then, Erin and Antonio rushed in and put Phil in cuffs.
***
Half an hour later, Jay was standing in front of the one-way window with Voight, watching Erin do her thing in the interrogation room.
"I found some pictures on his computer," Phil told Erin. "Boys, same age as the Corson kid. Then I- I confronted him."
"How did you kill Lonnie?" Erin asked, straight to the point. The faster this got straightened out, the faster Jay'd get his badge and gun back.
"We fought. I picked up a belt, and I just- I just kept choking him." Phil tried to keep the tears back, but he couldn't. What kind of father would kill their own son? But then again, most fathers didn't have sons who were monsters.
"And then you dropped his body in the park?"
"Yes."
Jay walked out of the interrogation room the minute he heard those words. He knew Voight had heard the same things he had. So, when Voight motioned for Jay to step into his office, this time, Jay didn't hesitate.
Voight pulled open a drawer and grabbed Jay's badge and gun. "Good to have you back."
"Thanks, Sarge."
"Now, go and get your sister out of here. I think she's bored out of her mind."
Jay chuckled and clipped his badge onto his jeans and holstered his gun. "His dad did it?" you asked, exiting the break room.
"How did you know that?"
"Ruzek told me!"
"Dude! I told you not to corrupt her!"
"Technically, I didn't corrupt her. I told her the truth," he defended.
"Fine, whatever. Mind giving us a ride so we can go get my car back from Pizza Hut?"
"Yeah, no problem."
"I call shotgun!" you yelled and started to race down the stairs.
"No fair!" Jay exclaimed as he chased after you.
***
You and Jay were crouched in front of Ben's grave, the flowers you had planted four days ago brightening the dismal place up a bit. "They got him, Ben, they got him," you explained. "Jay almost got in trouble for it, but it turns out that Lonnie's dad did it." You paused as if waiting for Ben's reaction. You knew he would be saying something along the lines of no way where he was. "I know, no way, right?"
"You okay?" Jay asked as he placed a hand on your shoulder.
You had stopped talking after you asked that rhetorical question. You had no idea what to say now. Ben was still gone.
"I guess it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would," you said, turning your attention to Jay. "It's as if I thought that finding who did this would bring Ben back. I feel relief, but that's it."
"Hey, no matter what you're feeling, it's okay. The way this went down today and the past few days don't matter. We got justice for Ben and that's all that matters. You got justice for Ben. You were the one who saw Lonnie with that rope and duct tape and told me. You were the reason this entire case got off the ground."
"Really?"
"Really," Jay confirmed.
"Well, at least it's justice."
"At least it's justice," Jay echoed.
A/N: Thank you for the amazing feedback on the first installment of this series I posted a few days ago! Your comments really got me motivated to write this one! But, I have some bad news, which is that since I have exams in a week and a half, I won't be posting for at least two weeks, probably closer to two and a half.
Anyway, thank you for reading, and please vote and comment! Reading your comments really gets me motivated to write...even though the next chapter will have to wait a while since I have exams.
taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07
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imeverywoman420 · 2 years
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I’m sorry I need to say this to someone . Please bare with me.
So I’m 21 and I’m late to the whole relationship/dating stuff. I never had an actual boyfriend or anything. My parents are super religious people and when my mom found out I had a ‘bf’ in middle school her reaction was so bad that it literally traumatized me. In hs all my crushes never liked me and I was too shy/scared to do anything. Entered college and shit closed down, online school, no actual chance of meeting someone. So I never had an actual bf. People started making me feel bad so I download tinder, met someone, and we started to like each other . Something happened were we took a break and since I don’t know how tf to handle relationships emotionally I freaked out and had a breakdown to my bff. He helped me and everything but me and the guy started talking again. I told my bff and he’s like “your so easy and I’m disappointed in u” and it hurt me. I’m like “I’ll be more mature next time something happens” but I just feel dumb and lost cuz I have no idea how any of this works. Everything is just happening so fast. When me and my guy stopped talking I thought it was over forever and gave a BJ for the first time to some random guy and I feel so guilty and messy now. This past week has felt like a year. I wish my life went differently and I had some past experience like normal people when I was younger. I feel like the girl in black swan when she goes crazy goes she’s emotionally and socially stunted and does adult stuff too quickly.
Me too sister…
Like not exactly but yeah ive pretty much been there.
I have never had a serious bf either only one in high school that lasted like 2 months and like. Even then as a 16 year old my lack of romantic experience caused problems in that relationship. Cause he just like. Expected me to know the rules and shit??? Like idk how to rxplain lmao.
What do we even do. Like searching for stuff like self help dating advice gives you nothing. Its just “raise ur standards girl!”
Ok but. What does that even mean. Actionably. And where the hell am i supposed to find this like magical “correct” man
All dating advice for women kinda assumes theres already a guy pursuing you or like. You live in an area where you actually like. See men your age that are at least 6’s on a daily basis. Like its completely non actionable it means nothing and doesnt help anyone. Like oh i need to love myself before i can be in a relationship? Wheres the evidence of that. Literally none. There are so many people more dysfunctional than me uglier than me etc in relationships. Like that is NOT the problem. Theres something deeper.
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What could have been...
//Saw that the site I use to make mood boards has a CD Cover option and thought it would be fun to do Sunset Curve’s Demo and Unreleased Songs (+Home Is Where My Horse Is) as they would look as singles!!! I may make CD Covers for the other 13 songs in the show...if people end up really liking these ones and if inspiration strikes!
**Gave an idea of what I think the other 7 songs would be about/why they were written (said what we know Unsaid Emily, Now or Never, and Home Is Where My Horse Is are about already of course too)!!
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1. Unsaid Emily: Is of course about Luke’s rough relationship with his mom, which was never resolved before his death. It touches on how he knew he should have turned around and come back home but his pride stopped him. All the conversations he had created in his head about what they would say to each other when he finally saw her again stayed that way, thoughts in his head. Wondering if he had been able to say the right things to his mom or made up with her before dying, would time not have erased the memory of him?  
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2. Get Lost: I believe it is about the feeling of restlessness and wanting to just take off on an adventure somewhere new or unique. Similar to how Luke finds sleeves (zleeves) restricting, this song is about how life can feel suffocating sometimes and all you want to do is grab a bag of essentials and walk in the mist/ride off into the night to a freer life. 
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3. Long Weekend: Is about the band’s friendship/brotherhood/sense of found family and how over many weekends they find themselves going through a lot of struggles and heartache together. These are the weekends that feel the longest because there is so much the four boys help each other through and many times they find they don’t want the weekend to end so they can spend more non-band time together to just be four stupid teen boys navigating all the twists and turns of life. 
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4. Crooked Teeth: My thoughts are that it could have been written when he had braces/a retainer in the 90s & was self-conscious of it, so it was written to cheer Reggie up about his braces/retainer & pretty much say "hey, Reggie...people's smiles vary & they're all unique & beautiful"...instead of mocking him, like the show seems to tell us it was written to do.
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5. My Name Is Luke: Is a darker, more introspective song about Luke’s struggle with an identity crisis where he feels he’s being pulled in different directions. One side is the Luke who loves his parents and wants to make them happy and have them be proud of him. The other side is the Luke. who is passionate about writing and playing music, who thrives off the feelings and energies of the crowd as they connect with him and his lyrics. Luke finds he can’t be one version of Luke without ultimately giving up the other and trying to do both is exhausting and soul crushing at times. The title is his way of saying ‘Hey, this is my name, it’s who I am, and I can be a loving son my parents can be proud of while also doing what I love and making a difference in the lives of people who listen to my music’. He just wishes his parents could come to understand that he loves music and he’s really good at it, so why can’t he continue doing it and make them proud at the same time.  
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6. Now or Never: Is, as we know, about Sunset Curve’s rise to fame and how they can dream as though they’ll never die but they’re going to live their life as though today could be their last day alive. They aren’t looking to the future, because all they need are each other and the energy that is coursing through their bodies in the present. They hear a voice in their heads saying you only have this one life, so make the most of it so when you die you’ll have had no regrets about the things you did or didn’t do. This is their time to shine and even when their lives were bleak or lacking, their days were still the best of their lives because they were making music and gradually making a name for themselves doing so. 
Weaved in are of course lyrics that seem to foreshadow their 3 deaths with the mention of shock to their hearts (the defibrillators used to try to keep them alive in the alley or ambulance), clocks moving forward but they don’t get older (how for 25 yrs they were in limbo and didn’t age and are now 17-year-old ghosts in 2020), how they kept on climbing 'til their stars collided (floated up out of the ambulance to the dark place until crashing into Julie’s life (she’s a star as Luke says)), and how all that they left in the past was just the just the key to paradise (all the things they left behind once they died were just ‘stepping stones’ to the ‘paradise’ of heaven for most people or in the boy’s case the path to Julie and playing music again).
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7. Late Last Night: Is about the late nights the four boys spent out at clubs/venues leading up to the Orpheum, gigs that helped them gain a decent following, and all the crazy things they saw and did. 17-year-olds out late partying, possibly drinking, on school nights. A higher energy song, similar to Now or Never to match the antics of a bunch of teens practically let loose on the music/club scene during the band’s rise in the Hollywood/LA music scene in ‘93/’94/’95. It evokes the feelings of being wild and reckless as a teen, while also somehow capturing the energy of the nighttime as you move from the crowded main strip into residential areas and how quick and jarring the change can be.     
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8. Lakeside Reflection: This is a tough one, but I think it would be about the individual experiences most or all of the boys have from going to lakes during summer with their families. There’s of course all the fun time spent with family, but in the reflection on the lake of those moments the boys only see the truth of their family dynamics, what was hidden behind a pleasant façade. 
For Luke, it was the strained relationship and fights with his mom over the band and his dreams. 
For Alex, it was the looks and offhanded comments made by his parents and the looks of sympathy from his sister, ever since he told them he was gay. 
For Reggie, it was the nights spent keeping his brother and sister distracted as the walls practically shook from the volume and intensity of his parents’ almost daily fights. 
And for Bobby, it was the truth that he kept up a façade even with the boys so they wouldn’t know that his family, that the others always believed to be perfect, wasn’t perfect at all. When rarely he saw his parents and they weren’t off on business trips or working late into the night, Bobby found them to be disinterested in his life and any affection or love was relegated to a pat on the back or a quick hand held before they rushed out the door once more. 
The happy summer vibes at the lake could never truly make any of the boys forget their truths, but at least they could let loose for the extent of their trips and finally feel like a carefree teen again.               
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9. In Your Starlight: This would seem to be a certain kind of love song at first glance and for some people that’s what it may be, but to me it is a very specific kind of love song. This love song is about relationships each of the boys had, the very few of them, that didn’t turn out well for some reason or another. A passion for music overshadowing the passion to keep a relationship going. The fear of long-term commitment and a short-lived bliss, before the fighting starts, ending the relationship before it ever grew deeper. The smothering of a fire in the soul so outsiders can’t see one trace of its flicker, hidden behind a lie, in case they find out the truth and react with disgust or hatred. Or the overly flirtatious and, at times, clingy antics used to get a person interested in starting a relationship. To keep them invested in the relationship, in an effort to make sure they won’t leave out of boredom or for someone better. This song is from the perspective of those other people, how they saw the relationship, no matter the length, and what they see as the thing that ended it or kept it from growing stronger. How they all in some way felt like they were pulled in by light of each of the boys (the stars) and things were good at first, before the cracks started to appear and reality truly set in.    
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10. Home Is Where My Horse Is: It’s an expression of where and whom Reggie calls home. The horse had never really stood for an actual horse, but rather it represented Luke, Alex, and Bobby. The people Reggie considered his family, his home, more than he ever would the house he had grown up in. Horses symbolize freedom without restraint, because riding a horse makes people feel they can free themselves from their own bindings. There is no constraining a horse when it runs with the wind, but they also enjoy the company of family and friends. Reggie wants freedom from the stuff with his parents and his own personal demons that keep him held back. He finds with the band, his real family, he can run free and be himself...enjoying being around the boys and not having to worry about fighting and drama. His home is where he (the horse) is... able to be its true self and go where the wind takes it.     
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ultrahpfan5blog · 3 years
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Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 5 Retrospective
Finished season 5 rewatch a few days ago. Season 5 was an eventful year for the show, on and off the screen. Off screen the show got cancelled on Fox, had a huge public outcry over the cancellation which included several celebrities, and then got picked up by NBC all in 48 hours. It was an exhilarating time as a B99 fan. Lot of stuff happened on screen as well, Jake and Rosa were in prison, team got them out, Jake and Amy got engaged, Rosa came out as bisexual to the precinct and her parents, Holt was in the running to be NYPD Commissioner, Amy became a Sergeant, and then Jake and Amy got married. Eventful season to say the least. Its also my favorite season of the show.
Honestly, this season is about as close to perfection I felt with a season. In other seasons there are at least an episode or two which I felt were meh or problematic. Season 5 is near flawless. I think Return to Skyfire is the weakest of the episodes but its still pretty fun. There are several episodes of season 5 that all rank in the top 10 B99 episodes in my opinion. The show also takes some risks with a couple of experimental episodes. There are episodes with a lot of heart, there are episodes that absolutely hilarious, there are ensemble episodes, there are two hander episode. some excellent new guest stars, and many great recurring stars.
I think the two prison episodes are pretty interesting. Tim Meadows as Caleb is absolutely amazing. He is so likable and low key hilarious that the fact that he's a cannibal who eats children always feels like a dark surprise. He and Andy Samberg make for a fun duo. The first of the two episodes is particularly fun. The show doesn't hesitate to show the danger of Jake being in the prison, especially the situation he finds himself by the end of the premiere. The show does connect one story to the next pretty seamlessly with the end of the Melanie Hawkins story connecting the the Seamus Murphy story which then connected to the Holt commissioner story. There are also a couple of really good experiments in experiments and story with The Box and Show Me Going. The Box is B99 at its most confident. Apart from Gina very briefly at the beginning and Boyle very briefly at the end, the entire episode really hinges on only three characters. Jake, Holt, and Sterling K. Brown's Dr. Davidson. Its a brilliant showcase for all three actors and all three characters. I believe Brown got a Guest Actor Emmy nomination for his performance and he's brilliant as the smarmy Dentist who really is in control for majority of the episode. Braugher and Samberg were old pros with their dynamic at this point and this is fantastic Jake and Holt episode because you completely get why Jake wants so badly to prove that he's right in front of Holt why being cast as the screw up and the idiot in the interrogation frustrates him so much because we know how much Holt's approval means to him. We also see why Terry call Jake his best detective back in season 1 because of how he riles up Davidson to get the confession at the end and getting the approval of Holt that he wanted. Its an incredibly satisfying episode and one of the show's best imo. Then there is also 'Show me Going' which is a surprisingly tense episode in which nothing tense actually happens on screen. The episode does a great job working with the fact that the only knowledge the squad has is that Rosa is on the scene of an active shooter situation. Basically we are in the same situation as the characters. Since all the characters are on edge, so are we. The show does a nice job balancing humor and recognize the danger of the situation.
The season has probably my favorite B99 episode and definitely by fav B99 Halloween episode with HalloVeen. Whereas the last three Halloween episodes were predictable or spoiled from the promos, this one actually threw a genuine surprise. I knew Jake and Amy would get engaged some point in the season, but I expected it to be on the much hyped 99th episode. Instead it can much earlier with HallowVeen and its a delight from start to finish. Its great to rewatch the episode because you pick up little signs that Jake was a bit more desperate to win than usual. First when he says that planning for the heist is what got him through prison time, and then when he says to Boyle that he has to win this time and this heist is way too important. On first watch, these details just slip by as regular overzealous Jake but they have additional poignancy on repeat. The actual proposal moment is handled beautifully in a very peraltiago way where it is both funny and romantic, with Charles' reaction being the cherry on top. There are quite a few strong related episodes that follow. The Venue being a fun return with the Vulture, Two Turkeys being a TWW reunion with Smits and Whitford returning as Amy and Jake's fathers. Its a better Thanksgiving episode than the previous season Smits appearance. Bachelor/ette party is another glorious episode with wild, fun shenanigans with Reginald VelJohnson appearing as himself. Jake & Amy is a very typical wedding episode where everything goes wrong but its perfect in all the right ways. Its heartwarming and sweet. You get more examples of how Jake and Amy are perfect for each other with Jake knowing the inside and outs of how Amy stresses out, and then ending on a wonderful B99 wedding with Fred Armisen returning to make a cameo appearance as Mlep(clay)nos. The episode was designed to work as a series finale since the potential for cancellation was there and while it leaves the season on a cliffhanger about Holt's job, its the sort of cliffhanger that we could have interpreted positively if the show hadn't gotten picked up by NBC.
The 99th and 100th episode of the show were also memorable. The creators chose to acknowledge the 99th episode in a way that most shows acknowledge the 100th episode, in true 99 style. Its a full ensemble episode barring the absence of Chelsea who would return on the 100th episode. Its a typical road trip episode which kickstarts the Holt commissioner storyline. It also is the episode where Rosa comes out as Bi to Charles. This was obviously a big story for Stephanie since she is bi as well and she championed this story. It gets explored in further depth next episode, but Stephanie Beatriz gets to do some of her best work in these two episodes, showing her vulnerability without losing her toughness. Game Night honestly feels very true to not just coming out as Bi to your parents but true to any child who has to confess something that would be against their conservatives parents' values. I think Game Night is a fantastically bittersweet episode and Danny Trejo is brilliantly cast as Rosa's father. The episode positions him as the parent whose reaction Rosa is most worried about and I love how they show that while its difficult for him to grasp the concept bisexuality, he comes around to accepting it and accepting Rosa. But the episode is still bittersweet with Rosa's mom not having come to terms with it. Its also an excellent Rosa and Jake episode where we see Jake endure incredibly uncomfortable situations to help Rosa. Its a characteristic that helps make Jake so endearing that he's willing to cross all limits for his friends.
There are lots of fun and hilarious episodes in between. Craig Robinson shows up as Doug Judy in The Negotiations which is another fun ep. Kevin and Jake get a great episode dealing with their dynamic in Safe House. Rosa and Amy have some fun in White Whale as the Sleuth Sisters. Pimento returns in Gray Star Mutual for some more crazy shenanigans. Gray Star Mutual also has my favorite cold open of all time with Jake leading a suspect lineup in a rendition of 'I got it that way', totally forgetting the crime that he's got the lineup for. Its pitch perfect and I've lost count of how many times I've seen that cold open on youtube. It basically has its own fanbase and introduced so many people to B99. We also get to see Naseem Pedrad as Jake's sister Katie and the end up having a cute dynamic. David Fumero shows up in The Puzzle Master. There are also pretty funny episodes dealing with some serious subject matter such Jake dealing with his own doubts in his ability to do his job after Prison in Kicks and Holt dealing with gambling addiction in Bad Beat. All handled very sensitively.
All in all, this was a fantastic season for the show. I had a blast rewatching it and it ended the Fox era in spectacular note. A 9.5/10. Now on to season 6.
'
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thatsgay-writes · 4 years
Text
Elle Greenaway x Reader
Summary: Elle makes a shocking discovery after they catch an unsub. (Follows along season 1 episode 7)
Warning: Criminal Mind stuff
The reader is given a name, for certain purposes and it is third person on purpose.
Word Count: 2.5k
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Dr. Thomas Fuller wrote, “with foxes, we must play the fox.”
---
“Bad?” Agent Hotchner asks as Elle handed him a folder. “The worst.” Elle responds as they head to the round table room. Gideon stood in front of a board as he looked at all of the images. “Crawford family. Murdered 3 days ago.” He says just as Derek walked in, “Saw it on the news.” He says as he takes a quick look at the board as he walks by. “They were found in the basement of their house...” Gideon says, still staring at the images. “Bags packed for a vacation they never took.” JJ continues for him. “Report said it was a murder/suicide. The father stabbed the mom, then shot himself.” Derek says as he sits down, still not fully sure as to why they were taking it as a case. “That’s the conclusion the Maryland State police came to. The gun was next to the father, he had gunpower residue on his right hand.” JJ states as she states a few things listed on the report in front of her. “And now you must have some compelling reason to think that Chris Crawford didn’t off his family?” Derek asks, looking to JJ for a response. “Yeah. Another murdered family. The Millers-- found a month ago. The mother, Reese Miller, her two children and her new husband. Again, they were found in the basement and like the Crawford's, their suitcases were packed for a vacation.”
---
“Elle!” Bailey yelled as she ran towards her girlfriend. Elle Greenaway and Bailey Woods had been friends since Kindergarten, both managing to stay in the same school all the way through middle school and up to high school. In 8th grade, they both finally confessed the feelings they held for each other. “Bailey?” Elle asked in concern as she watched her girlfriend run up to her, tears visibly rolling down her face. “Bailey, baby, what’s wrong?” Elle asked as she scooped the younger girl, by a few months, into her arms. “Did someone do something? Tell me who and we can beat them up together.” Elle said, semi-seriously. You just shook your head as you held onto her shirt tightly. It was the week before Junior year ended, the only tears falling from your face should be happy ones. “What happened?” Elle asked concerned, you had never acted like this before. She knew it couldn’t have anything to do with your dad since he was home for the next few months.
Elle made a split second decision and led you out of the school before any of the teachers could notice. “C’mon, let’s go.” She said to you as she opened the passenger door to your car. She had taken the keys from your pocket, knowing you were in no condition to drive. As she drove to your secret spot, you managed to calm down some and were taking deep breaths to calm all the way down. Elle parked in one of the parking spots at the top of the abandoned parking garage and turned off the car. “Can you tell me what’s wrong now?” She asked as she reached over the middle section and grabbed your hand. You took a few more deep breaths before looking up at her, heartbreak shone through your eyes. “I’m moving.”
---
Elle stood outside the interrogation room as she watched Reid talk to Eric Miller. “Is that what this is about, hmm? You think I’m crazy, man? You think I suddenly snapped and slaughtered my own wife and kids?” Eric kept asking questions as he got more and more agitated. “You think I did this? Huh? Is that what you think!?” Eric yelled as he suddenly stood up. Elle looked to Hotch with wide eyes before they entered the room. “Sit down.” Hotch told Eric firmly. Reid was the youngest on the team and it was his first time doing an interrogation solo, so Elle and Hotch were a little protective over him. “Is this your daddy?”
--- South East Washington D.C
Elle sat quietly in her seat as she sat in the back seat of the car as they drove towards the address Hotch and Garcia had found while snooping through the Crawford’s financials. Reid and Hotch both shared a look at the unusually quiet Elle. Usually when in the car, she would be looking over a file or talking to others to understand more about the case but tis time she was just staring out a window. “Is... Um, is everything okay?” Reid asked, his voice going a little high at the end of his question. His question shook Elle out of whatever she was thinking about, “Yeah... Maryland just brings back some memories...” You’ve been here before?” Hotch asks, concerned about the other agent but also making sure that nothing would intervene with the case they were working on. Elle sat silently for a few seconds before answering right as they pulled up to their destination, “No.”
“Federal Agents!” “FBI” “Federal Agents!” “Clear!” Hotch, Elle, and Derek all yelled simultaneously as they busted through the front door of the home. Elle scrunched her nose in disgust at the sight of the home, “Cleanest thing in here...” She muttered as she kicked what looked like an empty dog bowl. She stayed at the front of the house with Gideon and Reid as Derek and Hotch went deeper into the home. She watched with a questioning gaze as Gideon walked over to the wall and picked up a single painting that was hanging. “What’s that?” She asked as Gideon looked down at the drawing. “It’s a child’s painting. It’s a colonial house. Mom, dad, 2 children out front holding hands.” Gideon listed what he saw. “And a big dog.” She states as she looks over his shoulder.
---
Bailey and Elle laid together in her bed, the end of summer coming faster than ever before. She and Elle had spent almost all their time together, going on dates, spending nights at each other’s houses, etc. Anywhere Elle went, Bailey were there, and anywhere Bailey went, Elle was there. Right now the two of them were laying in Bailey’s bed watching T.V. “Stop staring at me.” Elle mumbles as she stares at the television. Bailey lets out a breath of air and rolls her eyes with a groan, “Love meeee, I want attentionnnnn.” She draws out causing Elle to playfully roll her eyes in response. “Fine, come here.” Elle says as she opens her arms out for Bailey to lay in. Bailey plays with Elle’s hair as she laid her head on her girlfriends chest. “I want kisses...” “Bailey repeats over and over again, like a chant. “Geez, someone is clingy today.” Elle states as she sits up and leans back against the wall. Bailey shifted around so she was now straddling Elle. “I leave in 3 weeks... I just wanna kiss my girlfriend.” Bailey pouts as Elle finally gives in. “Okayyyy.” She says with fake annoyance.
Bailey and Elle were deep into a make out session when her door suddenly busted open. “Eww!” “Ezra!” Bailey yelled as her sister covered her eyes with her arms. “Eww! Not you too! Mommy and daddy were doing that too!” The 5 year old yelled causing Bailey to laugh. Bailey gets off of Elle’s lap and picks up her little sister. “Aww,” Bailey says with a fake pout, “Do you feel left out?” Bailey starts kissing all over Ezra’s face causing the little girl to giggle and try to get away. “No! Eww! Stop it!” Ezra yells as she gets out of Bailey’s hold and pretends to rub away the kiss in fake disgust. Bailey just rolls her eyes at her sisters action. “C’mon, let’s go see if Benson is awake. We’ll be right back Elle.” Bailey says over her shoulder as she and Ezra leave the room. Elle laid back on Bailey’s bed as she left the room, staring at the ceiling. All she could think about was how in love with the younger girl she was.
Her train of thought got cut off as a small body was laid on top of hers. Elle immediately moved her arms to hold him and make sure he didn’t fall off of her. “Hey buddy...” She said in a baby voice as Bailey laid down next to her and pulled her into her. Bailey let out a groan as Ezra jumped on top of her before snuggling up. “Alright... What do you want to watch?”
---
“Okay. No, I understand. Yeah, I figured as much. Thank you.” Derek says as he gets off the phone. “He’s been staring at those pictures all morning.” Elle states as she stares at Gideon who is staring at the drawings done by the murdered children. “well, I sure hope he sees a connection cause I’ve checked doctors, lawyers, travel agents, tutors, contract workers. I got nothing.” Derek says as Hotch walks by. “Why target those families?” Elle wonders still watching Gideon. “Well, to know that, we have to know how.” Hotch says as he sits down and continues looking at the file in his hands.
“ We know organized killers are often skilled workers with above-average intelligence. High birth status. And in most cases...male. In the workplace, he's socially confident. And with women...sexually confident. Every offense...is preplanned. Targeting the victim is almost as pleasurable as the actual kill. These guys, they're...they're meticulous. It's a compulsion. Everything has to have its proper place. They do exhaustive amounts of research on their victims. They watch their every move every last detail is observed. Everything has to be written ever so neatly in a book or possibly a journal. When the kids are comin' home from school. When daddy'll be home. Playtime. Suppertime. Bath time. Bedtime. Plan the work...work the plan. This is the way that he maintains control. It's also how he personalizes his target... So nothing's left to chance. Absolutely nothing... Is left out of place, ever. So he plans the work... And when he's good and ready, he works that plan. He takes great pride in his job. I think the workplace has to be the connection.” Derek says as they go over everything they have learned about the unsub.
Gideon walks out of the room he was in with two drawings in his hands. He holds both the pictures up side by side. “Both are by Emily, painted months apart.  This one...is full of color, life. The one I found at Emily's house has lines, dimensions. No color. I believe Emily was coerced to make this. It's a point of view. It is his point of view. This is where the killer stood, just watched the family.” Gideon says after having finally figured out the connection of the paintings to the case. Hotch drops a ring on the desk he was leaning on, letting it spins some before picking it up. “Each of the dead husbands was missing his wedding ring. This is the unsub’s trophy.”
---
Bailey and Elle sat on the edge of the cliff at their special place. Trying to soak up as much time as they could before Bailey had to leave in a few hours. “I can’t believe you’re leaving...” Elle state as she leans her head against Bailey’s shoulder. “We had everything planned out too...” She trails off, looking at the scenery in front of her. “Hey don’t speak like that...” Bailey says as she holds Elle’s face in her hands. “It’s just one school year apart and then we will go to college together like we planned.” Bailey states before she pauses. “Look, I’m going to make you a promise, okay?” Elle raised an eyebrow at Bailey skeptically, promises were a big thing for Bailey, she never broke them. Bailey lets go of Elle’s face and pulls a ring from her pocket. “No before you freak out, this is my dad’s ring.” Bailey says with a slight laugh as she watches Elle’s eyes get big before returning to normal. “Now, you know me and my dad are close... When I was 5 and he got sent on the first deployment I remember, I cried like a baby for weeks on end. It actually got so bad my mom had to take me out of school one time.” Bailey says with a smile as she stares down at the ring in her hand.
“When dad came back and heard about it, he got his ring modified.” Elle watches with slight confusion as Bailey slid the ring a certain way and it split in half. “And now, whenever he gets deployed, I get this half of the ring so I always have a piece of him with me.” Bailey continues her story as she puts the larger part of the ring on a chain. “It’s obviously too big to fit on my ringer so mom bought a chain to put it on.” Bailey says as she puts the chain around Elle’s neck and closes the clasp. “I asked my dad and he said it was okay for me to give my part to you so you know that I am always with you and thinking about you.” Bailey says as she gives Elle a goofy smile. Elle tries to cover her crying but lets a few tears slip. “Hey, it’s okay...” Bailey says as she pulls the girl she loves into a hug. “Senior year will be over before you know it and we’ll be back together again.”
---
The group all sits around the table in silence as Gideon stares into the box that Hotch had found in Karl Arnold’s office. Everyone’s heart dropping as Gideon lets the contents of the small box drop and 8 rings fall onto the table. Every sat in silence feeling remorse for whatever families had lost their life’s to Dr. Arnold. Elle takes a moment to look at each ring and feels herself get nauseous at the sight of one ring that looks a little different from the others. It can’t be... She thinks as she slowly reaches out, ignoring the looks from her friends, and grabs the ring that made her feel sick. She takes a minute to study the ring, her heart beating faster at how familiar it is. She can feel her friends and coworkers staring at her in confusion, wanting to know why she had picked up the ring.
Elle reach's into her shirt a little and pulls out a ring of her own. The group shares a confused look, wondering where the ring had came from and how long she had had it. Elle takes it off the chain and slides the two rings together like she had seen you do ten years ago. The clicking sound it made not only signifying the two rings becoming one but also her heart breaking into two. Elle looks up to see Hotch and Gideon looking at her with a worried face, it was obvious that Elle knew who that ring belonged to. Seeing her friends face’s filled with sorrow was enough for the dam to break and the tears to flow.
---
“Elle! Guess what!” Bailey yelled excitedly into the phone as Elle picked up. Elle laughed at her excitement. “What?” “I get to go on vacation tomorrow!”
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spicynamericano · 3 years
Text
Perception. - mk lee
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sypnosis: you meet a stranger in the park, who helps you prepare for your interview with renowned author, mark lee.
word count: 2.1k
genre: fluff, strangers to friends!au, author!mark x reporter!reader
a/n: i impulsively wrote this in the wee hours of the morning because i can't stop thinking about mark lee and his poems! btw, this is my first time posting an au on this platform, but i do have ongoing twitter fics (written in eng/fil)!
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I had just finished my late night shift at the office and was on my way home from work. Being a field reporter is not an easy job. I have to work my butt off to always stay up to date on the latest news and make sure to grab even the rarest exclusives.
I have to travel to basically anywhere, just to gather the most accurate information for the daily primetime news. And even if work is done for the day, I would usually go overtime to make sure no single detail is left out for tomorrow’s reports.
My workplace isn’t that far from home, or what I call home now. Moving into my elder sister’s old apartment was not a hassle. It was actually quite a blessing since I always used to stay over whenever we visited the city. I really thank the heavens that her place was near my workplace. Imagine the struggle of moving in and out from scratch. Actually, I wouldn’t even dare to imagine.
I would usually ride my bike to and from the office, but since I was running a bit late earlier in the morning, I decided to take the bus. Convenience at its finest. But it’s late now. A fifteen minute walk back home won’t hurt, right? Besides, I needed a breather. A walk in the nearby park would suffice.
It’s midnight and of course, the park is empty. Although Seoul is alive 24/7, I really like how some areas still have that laid-back vibe. I walk to the swings and place my bag on the ground. I do wish someone would push me right now. I just wanna be free from all the hectic stuff I’ve been doing lately.
But no, the quick rest I thought of didn’t stop me from going over tomorrow’s duties. I scan my little, brown notepad and check the work I have yet to accomplish. I mostly finished them before I got off work, but there is one more that I needed to do for tomorrow: interview Mr. Mark Lee, the author of the best-selling Late Night Scribbles.
It’s a collection of poems and prose he’s written over the course of five years during his travels to different cities as a renowned travel writer. His travel reviews and recommendations were something I always looked forward to reading. Maybe someday I could go on a stress-free holiday trip thanks to his advice.
I have read his book. For someone who’s trained into more technical writing like me, I could still clearly resonate with most of the poems he’s written. Not too shallow, not too deep. Though you do need to have a sense of literature in order to understand more of his deeper works. He isn’t famous for nothing.
What appalled me though is that he never showed his face to anyone, not even once. Some say he’s actually the main rapper of the world-renowned boy group NCT, since they bear the same name. I think otherwise. Well, it could be, though. Rappers do make their own lines and tell their own stories.
But I don’t think that Mark Lee would be the same person I’d be interviewing tomorrow. It’s weird because I won’t be actually meeting him face to face. He said he’d rather converse through email. Works for me since I don’t have to travel tomorrow. Thank God.
Well, let me tell you a secret. The reason I don’t think author Mark Lee is singer Mark Lee is because singer Mark Lee is actually my childhood best friend. Crazy, huh? I used to live in Vancouver when I was young until my family and I moved back to Korea during my teen years.
I don’t think he remembers me, though. But I do remember him. Our moms were practically best friends. I couldn’t say the same to us, only if he still actually remembers me.
I stretch my arms up high and bend it side to side. God, I need a massage asap. I was about to pick up my bag when a basketball rolled over and hit the tip of my loafers. A man dressed in black waves from the court, signaling to toss the ball to his direction.
I would toss it if I could but I walk over instead. Blame my poor strength and reflexes. And I obviously do not want to embarrass myself. A rough day’s a rough day. I don’t want an addition.
“Uhm, are you looking for this?” I ask the guy, tossing the ball mid-air.
“Yes, thank you…” he pauses. “uh…”
“Oh, it’s (y/n).” I introduced myself, “And you are?”
“Minhyung.”
“Well, you’re welcome, Minhyung. Good luck with your basketball practice!” I gave him a nod before finally turning back to go home.
“Wait!” he calls out. “Do you maybe wanna have a cup of coffee? There’s a nearby convenience store still open. I figured you might need it.”
Was it that obvious? I can’t imagine how stressed I look right now! He has probably seen the dark circles under my eyes. Gross.
I finally turn around and give him a smile, “You know, maybe I do need it. Let’s go?”
This man and I walk to the nearby convenience store just a few meters away from the court. It’s midnight and not many people are here. Well, just exactly like how I want it. The park can actually become full, even until 10 pm. But I guess these people also need some shut-eye. I’m actually surprised this man right here still has some energy left.
I wait outside and sit at the nearest gazebo while he buys instant coffee for the both of us. He arrives with three in hand. Does he like coffee that much?
“You’re really gonna drink two?” I ask him curiously.
“It’s actually for you,” he says as he hands me one of the cups. “I feel like you’re going to be staying up late tonight.”
Well, he’s right. I am gonna be staying up late. I still need to prepare questions for tomorrow’s, or later, rather, interview. I really won’t be getting some sleep tonight. I also need to do research on him too.
“Well, I do have an interview for tomorrow. I still need to prepare as it’s a very important one.”
“With whom, may I ask?”
“Mark Lee, the author. Not the singer.”
“Oh,” he lets out a soft sigh that can be heard, even through his mask. Is he offended that I don’t think author Mark Lee and singer Mark Lee are the same?
“Why do you sound so disappointed?”
“Uh, nothing. I just remembered the book he recently released. Have you read it?”
“Late Night Scribbles?”
“Yes, that!” he answered enthusiastically. Wow, I guess I found a fan right here. He might actually help me with my interview later. I need to grab this chance.
“Do you mind helping me? I’m actually going to interview him about it tomorrow.” I gave him the widest smile, hoping he’d say yes. I normally wouldn’t do this to strangers, especially at night. But I really just need to get this over with.
“Well, as someone who’s a fan of his works. I’d like to give it a try and interpret it,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Just imagine I’m Mark Lee. Shoot your questions.”
“Hmm, I can’t be answering personal questions since you’re not Mark Lee.” I scratch my head. Damn, I can’t think of anything. My brain is not working right now! “But if you were Mark Lee, what would you want to be asked?”
“If I were Mark Lee? Well, rather than asking what my inspiration was behind the works I’ve made, I’d rather be asked on how I tried to convey my thoughts and feelings to this piece of work,” he explained, staring at the night sky.
I followed the direction of his gaze, and he’s looking at Orion, one of the brightest constellations out there. I gaze at it too while waiting for him to continue explaining.
“But isn’t it basically the same as drawing inspiration from something?” I ask profoundly.
“Not really. You can draw inspiration from anything. And you can come up with different outputs based on one inspiration. What’s important is how you’re able to connect the context of what you’re writing to the feelings you want to draw out,” he continues.
“With a single inspiration, I can come up with two completely different works based on how it’s written. The idea may be the same but the context is not.”
“Hmm, care to explain a little further?” I ask politely.
“We can use Black Socks as an example.”
Black socks are underrated
The way they connect the bottom sleeves of
my black sweatpants to my black sneakers
is just perfect
Pleasure from perfect alignment
That also goes for the ability to be parallel
with my thoughts and actions
I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep
it consistent even when forgotten like a
working habit
A moment to think twice about what
seemed unimportant
Black socks have been making my day
these days and I knew I had to return the
favor by acknowledging them
I throw you in the bin only so that you can
be renewed again
“Black socks, literally an ordinary object that is tossed to the bin right after use. But what caught my eye is his appreciation for this mundane thing.”
“Through his words, you can tell black socks gave him comfort. He used a simple subject to convey his inner thoughts of how every little thing we don’t really recognize can actually be part of our routine, our life,” he said, looking me in the eye seriously.
“He found comfort in the most ordinary things no ordinary person would take notice of.”
Minhyung stands up and stretches his arms. He then continues, “It’s actually cool he shared this piece with us. If I were him, I’d go on and ramble how black socks could ruin my laundry.”
We both chuckle at the thought. It’s true. I hate how some of my black socks actually ruin my laundry. I dread the thought.
“It’s only a matter of perception, (y/n). Sometimes, you have to open your eyes and see, not look. Listen, not hear. Savor, not taste. Feel, not touch.”
“You know, you could actually be Mark Lee himself,” I tease him, “You do know your literature.”
I know he smiled at my remark. I can see his cheekbones rise from the edges of his mask.
“Sometimes, you just have to ask the right questions in order to get the answers you want,” he said teasingly. “You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want.”
For a stranger, he’s indeed a good talker. I actually learned so much from our talk tonight.
“Thanks for tonight, Minhyung. I really learned a lot.” I thank him before gulping down the last cup of coffee he bought me. “And thanks for the coffee, by the way! I now have energy to prepare for my interview later.”
“No problem. I’m just glad that I was able to help.”
I stood up from my seat and we both started walking away from the park.
“It’s 1 am. How are you gonna get home, (y/n)?” Minhyung asks worriedly. Yeah, it is pretty late. It’s a good thing I just live near.
“My apartment’s just two blocks away. I can manage,” I say with a smile, a genuine one at that. “How about you?”
“I’ll just grab a cab. Do you mind if I walk you home?” I don’t know why but I felt flustered for a moment. Surprisingly though, I just nodded my head, giving him permission to accompany me home.
We both arrive at the entrance of my apartment building and we say our last goodbyes.
“For a stranger, you really do know how to make people comfy,” I say, crossing my arms and giving him a stare, brows furrowed to tease him.
“Well, that’s just how I am,” he says while giving me a wink. Okay, now he’s flirting. Someone stop him, please. Just kidding.
“By the way, you haven’t taken your mask off the entire time except when drinking coffee. I couldn’t get a good glimpse at you since it was dark,” I explain. It’s true. Add the fact that I’m barely keeping myself awake the whole time. “I might’ve actually thought you’re an idol of some sort. Perhaps, maybe you are Mark Lee.”
“What?” he asks, puzzled and clearly taken aback. “Why’d you think so?”
“Because you share the same name with him.”
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dancingthesambaa · 3 years
Text
The Smell of Plum Blossom Tea Ch 2
Summary: Just like a butterfly wing, a single act of kindness can change the course of the future, it certainly did for MK as a black-furred monkey put out a hand towards him.
Rating: Teen and up
Chapter 2: What’s in a Name?
It was a week since Macaque had taken MK in and to the child it has been the best week of his life. When he woke up in the mornings he didn’t have to worry about there being no food as he smelt it as soon as he opened his eyes, he could play in the forest with all the monkeys as long as Mac was there and he even had clothes that fit him instead of the same stinky shirt on days end. Everything was just wonderful.
“MK, what should we do about school?”
Or at least it was, but as soon as the monkey demon asked that question, MK's whole body deflated. “Do I have to go to school?”
“Education is important shooting star,” he said as he diced up some plants. “It helps things we don’t know and things we want to know.”
“Okay, but it is really boring, I always lose all my stuff all the time, and the teacher always explains it so weirdly,” the child pouted.
“Everyone has a different method of teaching, so you may have a method of learning as well.”
“Oohh….what does method mean?”
“It’s just another word for way.”
“Oh okay,” MK then tilts his head, “so what are you doing anyways?”
“Well right now I’m cutting up some herbs so I can use to make medicine,” he explained in simple terms as he then picked up the diced up blue plant and placed it into a cauldron and began to stir it.
“I didn’t know you could make your own medicine from home!” He leaped up and tried to poke his head over the counter to watch, “I always thought that you get it at the doctor's office.”
“Well doctors actually get it from a lab where people make the medicine there, this space here is my own lab.” He gestured to the room that was filled with all types of different ingredients all placed in a package inside of one storage cabinet and in another was a cabinet filled with modern lab equipment.
“So you don’t have to be a doctor to make medicine?”
“Well for most yeah, but for me,” he grinned as he picks up MK with one hand and placed him on his hip as he continues to stir with his other “let’s just say that I have been doing this for a little over 500 years, so I have a tad bit more experience and knowledge than regular humans.”
“Can I try?!” He excitedly asked.
“Well I don’t know, sometimes it will be a bit too dangerous for you to even be In here, which by the way, do not enter this lab unless I am here,” he sternly told him.
“Okay, okay got it, but pleaseee.”
“I don’t know, think you can handle it,” he teased.
“I’m a big boy! I can handle anything!”
“Hmmmm,” he pretended to think before conceding, “Alright you persuaded me, so I’ll allow it this once,” he said as he put the spoon down, “so first we make sure we have our safety gear on.”
“Check! Check!” MK adjusted the goggles on his eyes and showed off his long sleeve jacket and gloves.
“Next, what you have to do is go slow and make large circles.”
“Slow and large circles, got it,” he then proceeded to pick up the spoon and do what he said as he stirred.
“Good job kiddo, but how bout we make that circle a little bit bigger,” he gently grabbed MK’s hand and made it a bit wider. Soon enough the medicine's previous light yellow had transformed into a dark green.
“Look, it changed colors!” MK pointed out.
“That’s the beauty of medicine kid,” Mac grinned as he set him down, “now all I have left to do is to let this simmer for a few hours and it will be ready to be bottled up.”
“That’s a lot of medicine, is that all for you?”
The demon shook his head, “no it’s actually for one of my regular clients. His students routinely injure themselves, sometimes in the dumbest of ways, so I usually make batches of this every month.” His ears then slightly twitch as he grinned, “speaking of students, MK come here. I have someone here for you to meet.”
“Who?” He tilted his head as the monkey put a lid on a pot, proceeded to put away both of their safety gear as they left the room.
“Hey old-timer, I know your hearing isn’t that bad!” A voice yelled from down below that MK could barely hear, “come grab me, I’m carrying too much shit to climb up!”
“Someone to help,” was all Macaque said before he leaped out of the open window and less than a few seconds later, returned with a short bluenette woman in his arms. “MK this is Yanyu,” he said. “Yanyu, this is MK.”
“Uhhh, he shuffled his feet awkwardly as he gave a slight wave, “hi.”
“Awww,” she cooed at him, “it’s nice to meet you MK. You're rocking a pretty cool shirt there.” She pointed to his solar system shirt, “it’s really far out man.”
There was a pause as MK stuttered out a thank you and Macaque put his face in his hands.
“That was terrible, I hope you know that,” he groaned.
“That’s what you say, I know my puns are rockin my world,” she smirked at the louder groans.
“Please stop, I beg you.”
“Then beg.”
“Are you human?” MK bluntly asked, which made the two pause.
“Strangely enough that isn’t the first time I was asked that, but yes I am fully human. Though a small percentage of me is most likely full of crazy,” she grinned widely.
“I think you have those backward,” he muttered and didn’t even flinch when she elbowed his stomach. “So your probably wondering why she’s here right?”
“Uhhh yeah,” he nodded.
“Well, I have come to the realization that despite my many years with humans, I have never actually taken care of a human child outside of giving them medication.”
“Which he means that he knows not a single thing about taking care of you tiny ones,” Yanyu butted in as she crossed her arms, “and this is where I come in.”
“Oh well that’s good...I think?” MK didn’t exactly know what she meant, but since they said it’s a good thing, he feels like he doesn’t have any complaints.
“Oh trust me, it will be,” she said as she put down the bag and it was filled with books when she opened it up. “I may be a big sister of five, but even I can admit that I don’t know everything, so I brought some parenting books, nutrition, school, and a lot more.”
He couldn’t help but deflate slightly at the last word, which the bluenette noticed.
“Don’t like school?”
“Not really, it's just that I can’t stay focused sometimes,” he admitted as he lowered his head.
“Hey now,” Mac kneeled and ruffled his head, “you don’t have to feel shame for being distracted sometimes.”
“Hmm, well if you have troubles with traditional school classrooms, then how about you try online schooling?” Yanyu said.
“Online school?” MK tilted his head.
���I didn’t know it was also available for the younger grades, I thought it was only for the college classes like you had,” he admitted as he used his feet to pick up one of the parenting books.
“Nah, it was incorporated for all years a few years back. It certainly helped a lot of students out and one of them being me,” she proudly pointed a finger to herself, “let me tell you, kid, it was the second-best decision to do online school. Made my life so much easier.”
“What was the first?” He curiously asked.
Yanyu walked over to Macaque and patted him on the shoulder, “begging this ol doc here to take me on as a student. It was the cheapest and most informative learning I ever had since high school.”
“Student? You were a teacher!” MK's eyes widened as he looked at the monkey demon.
“Kinda, though I did question my sanity during those times,” he said as he flipped through the pages.
“Oh shut up, if it wasn’t for me you would still know squat about technology.”
“I wasn’t that bad.”
“You were still using the Jiaguwen system when I first met you.”
He winced, “okay yeah you got me there.”
“Anywho, it’s gonna be a right pleasure working with you MK,” she held out a fist bump to him, “we’re gonna see a lot of each other.”
MK looked at the outstretched fist and gave a little grin as he fist-bumped her hand.
“Boom,” Yanyu made an exploding sound as she opened her fist when the two parted.
He looked at her strangely.
“Don’t worry Starbright, she’s just weird like that,” Mac patted his head.
“Hey!”
A few months have passed and MK has taken to online schooling like a fish to water. He found it much better to concentrate and while there were still a few issues over understanding the problem itself, he had the help of both Macaque and Yanyu. The last one herself was helping him with his writing.
“The girl is walking to the market by the river to get milk for her mother,” MK repeated to himself as he finished writing.
“Congratulations kid, you have finally graduated from Yoda writing to a regular language,” she gave him a little applause.
“Thank you, thank you you're too kind,” he also jumped out of his seat to give a mock bow.
“But for real kid, you have really approved with your writing,” she gave him a high five, “nice job.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you both,” he scratched the back of his neck.
“I know that you would have been just fine even without our help and I know your dad would agree.”
“Really!” Then MK realized what she said and backtracked as he flailed his arms about, “Wait dad?! I mean dad is kinda a big word and he just adopted me, so he probably doesn’t even see me as a son, more like a responsibility he has to take care-,” he was stopped by a hand gently covering his mouth.
“Whoa there little monkey easy, I can’t keep up that fast,” she lightly teased as she put her hand down, “now you want to tell me what that was all about?”
“Well,” he sat down and kicked his feet, “I-its just-I don’t really-.”
“Take your time,” the bluenette said.
“Well,” he twisted his hands “is it okay if someone-and I don’t mean me just someone I know-don’t call mom and dad, well, mom and dad.”
“Yeah,” she said easily.
“Wait really?” He was a little more than shocked at how easy she said that.
“Really. You, or my bad that person you know, don’t feel comfortable or don’t want to call their parents so that they don’t have to.”
“But they gave birth to me-I mean that person and they raised them, so shouldn’t they have that name?” He tried to insist but was shut down by her shaking her head.
“They don’t keep that name if they harm the child, no parent ever deserves that kind of title if they purposely try to bring harm to their child. It is wrong,” she stated.
“Oh...and what about those that do?” He shyly said, both knowing what he was implying but not saying it out loud.
“Then you say it when your ready,” Yanyu simply said.
“I don’t think it’s that easy?”
“No, but what is?”
MK just shrugged his shoulders.
“Now how about we put away this stuff for ten more minutes before we get into history,” she pushed away from the materials and made sure the laptop was charged up.
“Yes!” He fist-bumped the air as he then spotted the pencil on the ground and tried to pick it up with his feet.
Yanyu had to press her lips together to fight against the bubbling laugh in her throat as she watched MK struggle to pick the pencil with the socks on his feet.
“Oi bastard I need a little help ova here!” A rough voice yelled out as it was followed by a loud bang, which led to the eight year old flailing off his bed.
“How many times have I told you to stop that?” He heard Macaque's familiar voice being annoyed.
“Too many times to count,” another softer voice replied.
“But you think that gunna sticka?” The third voice laughed out loud. “That’s a laugh!”
MK slowly opened his door and crept quietly to the living room as the voices got louder.
“I guess it is too much to ask you to be quiet for once?” The monkey deadpanned.
“Now why would I do that?” The first voice said.
It was at this point that MK managed to poke his head into the living room and saw three different demons, he knows they are demons this time, and his da-Macaque.
There was one whose skin was dark brown, but lighter above the shoulders. The more he looked, the more he could see that they were actually feathers all along the body, and instead of hands, they had clawed bird-like feet and two large black wings protruding from the back.
Another one was softly glowing a light blue hue that matched the pale blue skin as the creature was gently floating just a smidge above the ground. They had almost a mushroom-shaped hat covering their eyes and dozens of dark blue and purple strings attached all around the bottom of the hat as they hung just above the demon feet.
The final one is something that MK could clearly tell what it was as he had seen a bunny before, though this one was way larger than the other bunnies he had ever seen. The demon had pure gray fur and large white fluffy paws, if he wasn’t so nervous right now he would ask to pet them.
“Well I was hoping that you would have kept it down for the kid that is currently living with me right now,” he cracked a smirk at their frozen faces.
“Huh?” They all said in unison.
“Speaking of kids, you can come out MK. Don’t worry bout them too much, they ain’t harmful, just insane.”
At the prompting MK slowly shuffled into the living room and he saw three heads swivel towards him.
“Uhhh hi,” he gave a little wave.
“You have a kid?!?” They all shouted either loudly or softly.
“It’s not that big of a shock,” he grumbled as he walked over to the child and threaded his fingers through his hair. “Sorry, these knuckleheads woke you up.”
“I know I have not been gone that long for you to have a chick without me knowin!” The female bird demon squawked as her feathers puffed up in indignation.
“Nah, adopted him a few months back.”
“And you didn’t tell us?!” The bunny huffed as they thumped his foot in agitation.
“Nope,” he grinned as he watched their growing frustration.
“There are times where you are the best of us and times you are the worst of us, I don’t know which one this falls under,” the mushroom head demon groaned as one of the strings was massaging the top of his head.
“Are they your friends?” MK loudly whispered to the monkey demon.
“I don’t claim these lunatics,” he bluntly said.
“I think you mean to say that we are your amazing, wonderful, fantastic friends that you hold dear,” the bunny demon pointed out as they put an arm around his shoulder.
“I was forced into this,” Macaque said as a wing wrapped around the two of them.
“Ah just admit that you have a soft fuzzy heart for us,” the bird demon grinned.
“Not even when my bones decay away.”
MK just blinked at the unprompted scene as he saw the glowing blue demon approach him.
“Sorry about my companions, they can be a little much sometimes,” he smiled softly to him.
“It’s fine, you're not the only ones who make a loud entrance,” he thought back to the times Yanyu would kick the door open when she walked in.
“I suppose not,” the demon then held out one of his arms to the child, making sure his tentacles were out of the way, “my name is Bohai little one.”
“I’m MK,” he smiled back and shook his hand.
“Oh, we’re doing introductions?! Well, I’m Daiyu chicky,” the female demon grinned or at least that's what he thought she was doing with her scarred beak.
“I’m Minsheng,” the bunny demon twitched their nose and gave a toothy grin, “you're so small that you remind me of my siblings when they were born.”
“How many siblings do you have?” He curiously asked.
“Pfft older or younger? I stopped counting after we reached the 200s,” they laughed.
His eyes widened, “over 200! That’s a lot of brothers and sisters.”
“Well, you know how bunnies are.”
Before MK could question that he felt two furry hands cover his ears.
“How about we don’t talk about that to a kid who has probably never had a crush before,” Macaque hissed to the bunny who had their hands held up.
“He’ll learn eventually.”
“But I would rather have that explained to him by literally anyone but you.”
“Fair enough.”
“Anyways,” the monkey took his hands off MK’s ears, “what were you screeching about earlier?”
“Oh well I got a bit nicked with some of dem cretins after a territory dispute you know how it is and,” Daiyu turned around and showed her back...which had a few knives sticking out of it. “I got a bit scratched up in the tussle.”
“At least you had the sense not to take it out,” he couldn’t help but sigh. “You at least win?”
“Who do ya think your talkin to?” She proudly puffed up her feathers.
“And people say I have too much pride, you damn vultures take the cake,” Macaque rolled his eyes as the two of them walked towards the infirmary room.
“You say that as if you never met Flicker before,” she chortled.
“Well there’s a stark difference between you two.”
“Wha that?”
“He actually has a brain.”
“Hey!” She attempted to pull his dangling fur, but he ducked away in time.
“Can I stay up a little longer!” The seven year old asked before the door could shut.
“Only for a little bit, but when I get back it’s straight to bed.” He answered back and then the door closed.
“Thank you!” He called out regardless as he fully knew that he could hear him.
“And that’s the whole lot of us kid, we're only half as insane as curly made us out to be '' Minsheng joked.
“Almost all of us,” the jellyfish demon said.
“Who you? Ha! Hate to break it to you, but the last time you lost your patience was when they didn’t make your starfish the way you wanted and you paralyzed the entire cooking staff.”
“You didn’t have to bring that up, but no not me,” he waved one of his tendrils. “I meant Ahmed.”
“I didn’t include him in the first place because that man does not even classify as insane,” he bluntly said. “He has the patience of a monk to deal with our brand of insanity which, in hindsight, is insane itself.”
“Whose Ahmed?” MK asked, “is he another friend of d-Mac?”
The two looked at each other before Baiyu spoke, “yeah, he’s a friend of Macaque.”
“Ouch, that’s a low blow for poor Med,” they grinned then winced as a tendril shocked their arm. “What? You know I’m right.”
“You know as well as I do that he can still hear you.”
“I’ve been craving death anyways,” they then turned back to the kid, “so you want to hear some crazy stories about your old man.”
Needless to say that Mac had tackled the bunny demon to the ground, with two violet glowing escrima sticks in hand, in the middle of their story on how the fierce monkey demon had to dance his way across a road of hot coal as he tried to outrun an angry herd of demon pheasant while wearing a rather beautiful kimono.
Macaque was reading out on the patio when his ears twitched as he heard a soft whimpering coming from MK’s room. He put the book on the table when he walked in and safely crept his way over his room and like many times before MK was crying in his sleep from a nightmare once more.
“It’s okay shooting star,” he gently began to thread his fingers through MK’s hair, “it's just a bad dream. You will be fine.”
At first, it didn't have any effect, but the longer he talked the softer the whimpers began to die down and the kid's eyes softly began to blink open.
“W-what's goin on?” He hoarsely said as he rubbed his eyes as he realized that he wasn’t dreaming anymore.
“You just had a bad dream kid,” he hummed as he continued stroking his hair.
“Oh.”
“Want to talk about it?” He received a firm shake of his head, “that’s okay, do you want to lie back down, sing, water, or want me to give you a little shadow puppet show?”
“Shadow show please,” he muffled out as he gripped tighter onto the blanket.
“One show coming right up,” he used a shadow clone to bring back a lantern as the room began to softly glow. When all was set Macaque began his tale in a low voice, “There once was an old man who lived in a shack.” He used some of his shadows to show a picture of an elderly man and wooden shack, “he was nothing special, did nothing extraordinary, and his life was simply normal. Until one day he happens upon the most peculiar thing.”
He continued to tell the tale of the old man even when he, unknowingly, had wrapped his tail around his child’s hand and MK, who was slowly drifting off into a deep slumber, held a tight grip upon it.
MK was currently sitting on the edge of a large lake as he kicked his feet in the water. He was alone at the moment as the monkey demon was tending to the plants that he needs for various medicines. The lake itself was a beautiful view filled with lily pads, reeds standing tall in the crystal lake, fishes and herons swimming in the water. Though he was trying to guess what that large dark shape was, it was nothing he has ever seen before.
“Hmmm I don’t think it’s a fish...maybe a duck?” He leaned in to get a better look and noticed. “Or maybe a turtle!”
The shape shifted as it appeared to be getting bigger and bigger as MK now noticed that he had never seen a turtle with long arms and claws before. He then saw there was long string hair upon what he thinks is its head until suddenly it disappeared and was replaced with two beady eyes. His heart dropped when the creature opened its mouth to reveal countless rows of sharp, pointed teeth. Then it began to rapidly swim towards him.
MK, frightened, fell on his back as he tried to crawl away, but it failed as the creature burst out of the water and onto the ground merely a foot away from him.
He let out a piercing scream, “DDAAADDDDD!”
At the same time the creature, with his mouth wide, said “hi there human child!”
“What?” He abruptly stopped his screaming right as an ominous force suddenly filled up the area as MK then felt two familiar hands scoop him up and hold him close as the voice spoke almost lowly.
“What happe-oh it’s just you,” Macaque let the pressure go back to normal once he realized that there wasn’t a true threat that was trying to attack his kid.
“Bwahahaha,” the creature let out a bellowing laugh, “sorry sorry. I must have scared your youngin.”
“No!” MK instantly said, but then he wilted and nodded, “just a bit.”
“Sorry about that little child, I just get a bit excited when a new face comes around my lake and all,” the webbed creature gave a toothy grin. “I know I startled the pant off Minzhe when I first met him.”
“Your lake? You live here?” MK, after being let down, carefully tried to examine the waters closer.
“Right on the mark, since being a Shui Gui and all.”
“Shui Gui,” he drawled out as he thought about that familiar name.
“Or Kappa, our damn naming changes so often that at this point I just go with the flow.”
“Oh! I know what a Shui Gui is!” MK brightened as he began to tell what his...mom used to tell him. “Aren’t they vengeful demons that have drowned and are bent on dragging helpless victims underwater, drowning them and finally eating their...flesh to…to...” his face took on a look of horror as he realized what he just blurted out. “I am so sorry!”
Luckily though the two demons chuckled, or at least Macaque did as the Kappa was holding his stomach. Though this did make MK’s face flush in embarrassment, he should be glad that the demon wasn’t angry, but he didn’t find any humor in what he said.
“Well I’ll give you credit,” Kappa said as his laughter died down, “what you said was mostly true, except I’m not a demon, just a ghost.”
“And let’s be clear he hasn't eaten people since two-maybe three millenniums ago,” the monkey demon intruded as he knew what MK was gonna ask next.
“You humans have become much too stringy for my taste,” he joked, but it served the opposite purpose as the small child paled even further.
“And this is why your only friend is an adrenaline junkie who has a taste for his own death,” Mac deadpanned as he soothed MK down.
After his heart stopped thrumming in his ears the human managed to look up at his guardian and his eyes widened as he noticed that Macaque suddenly had three pairs of different colored ears: red, blue, and purple. “When did you get three ears?!”
“You just now noticed?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Did you have them all this time?!?!!”
“Not all the time, but I do when it’s quiet usually.”
“Cooolll!” He attempted to climb the monkey to get a better look, “Is this how you're able to hear things from so far away?”
“Yeah,” he lets him examine his ears as only his eye minuscule twitch when MK accidentally pulls it too hard. “Be careful now, only have three pairs of them you know.”
“Right, sorry.” He apologized as he became gentler with his touches. He couldn’t help but gently drag his fingers through the oddly pointed ears and he smiled, now he understood why some of Mac's clients called him the Six-Eared Macaque. He eventually got down and faced the spirit once more, who was just looking at the two of them with amusement. “I’m real sorry for screaming at you.”
“Water under the bridge young child,” he waved him off, “least you apologize for it. I know that half the ones in these woods won’t even say sorry for ramming into you.”
“There’s more of you?” He tried to look in the lake, but he was once again met with only fish and water.
“Me specifically no, but spirits, demons, and other whatnot. Oh yeah there's hundreds of them dwelling in this here forest.”
“Wowww,” his eyes sparkled, “so does that mean that we are all neighbors.”
It was stunned silence before the Shun Gui began laughing once more as he bends down, “PFFTHAHAHA!”
“Did I say something funny?” MK looked towards Mac who was pinching his nose once more.
“No, he’s just obnoxious, that’s all.”
“You know what I like you kid, yeah we’re all neighbors, man even Ping would get a laugh out of this,” the water spirit said after his laughter died down. “Welcome to the neighborhood MK!”
“Thanks...umm what’s your name again?” He embarrassedly asked as he realized that he never got a name throughout this whole interaction.
“Oh here we go,” Mac sighed as he got comfortable and plucked up a Ravenna grass and began to chew on it. He grimaced as he realized that he had plucked up a weed again.
“Eh, you can call me Kappa if you want, don’t care for the whole naming thing,” he shrugged as he got back in the lake and laid there.
“Why not?” He curiously followed him.
“Why should I?” He shot back with a grin.
“Huh?”
“Why should I care for my name? It’s my name and I can do whatever I want with it, so I just choose not to care.”
“But don’t you like your name,” he was very confused about how this conversation came about.
“Oh I do, but truth be told, most of the time I forget others' names, so one day I just thought ‘you know what, what if I just don't use my name all the time’ and I didn't,” he finger gunned at the blank face child.
“You're kinda weird,” he bluntly told Kappa.
“I’m sorry,” Mac spoke up in disbelief, “You met a trio of lunatic demons that are a hot mess in general, an insane human who likes to add too much ghost jalapeño to her food, one of my clients who have their organs outside of their body and this is where you draw the line of weird?”
“I just wanted to know his name!” He threw his hands up.
“Just whatever is fine,” he laughed.
“Well fine! Your name is Whatever now!” He said in a fit of frustration before he realized what he said, “wait! I didn’t mean-,”
“Pfthahaha!” The spirit once more threw his head back in laughter.
“...what is even happening,” MK deadpanned.
“Welcome to my life Starchild,” Mac said as he ruffled his hair.
“That’s an interesting one, alright Whatever it is then,” he gave him a toothy grin.
“Wha-no please no,” MK almost begged him. “I didn’t-,”
“Nope too late, I won’t respond to anything else but Whatever from you. Hope to see you around short stack, you really know how to bring a laugh to a vengeful spirit face,” he let out a bark of a laugh before diving down deep into the lake.
MK blinked for a few moments before turning to Macaque, “is he really gonna-,”
“Oh yeah he is only gonna respond by that name,” he cut him off, “called him a Kappa once to his face and that slimy frog hasn’t let go since.”
“...I think I want to go back home dad,” said MK as he leaned into his fur. “I think I’m done for the day.”
Macaque’s breath hitched as he then gave him a gentle smile and scooped him up in his arms. “Yeah, I think I am as well.” And with that, the two mentally exhausted people made their way back to their warm home.
MK, who proudly turned nine as of a few months ago, was playing in an arcade as his dad was grocery shopping. He stuck out his tongue as he attempted to repeatedly punch the monster in Monkey Mech, but he keeps getting beaten right before he can land the final punch. He mused up his short ponytail out of frustration that was held by a red ribbon, “Oh man! I swear this guy cheats, alright seventeen times the charm.”
“I thought it was the third time the charm?” He turns around at the voice and sees a pigtail girl around his age looking at him.
“It is, but I lost sixteen other times, so this time I will win,” he confidently said as he put another token in, and just like before he lost. “I almost had it!”
“Move over,” the girl pushed him aside and took over the controls, “let me show you how to really play.”
MK's jaw dropped when the Winner title popped up after she managed to land the final triple axel uppercut to the enemy. “How’d you do that?!”
“Oh just a lot of practice, and searching online, to find the right moves to slain the beast,” she bragged.
He went down on his knees and bowed to her, “oh teach me your ways oh wise one.”
“You may refer to me as Master Mei,” she deepened her voice to sound elderly, “and who shall I call my young student.”
“Call me MK,” he followed along with glee, he hasn’t played with a kid his age in so long.
“Well then let me show you the ways of Monkey Mech,” and with that the two proceeded to play the game, playfully pushing each other as they double battled in a co-op mode. It wasn’t until a few hours had passed, and they had long passed Monkey Mech and went into all the different kinds of games in the arcade when MK noticed the digital clock behind the counter.
“Aww man, it’s getting late,” he pouted as he didn’t want to end, “I have to meet up with dad.”
“Awww,” Mei's shoulder slumped as they walked to the prize area, “that sucks.”
“Yeah,” he slumped his shoulder, as well as the two, looked through the prizes available, which did brighten the mood a bit as Mei left with a strange mutated stuffed dog that had three eyes, a few pieces of candy, and three bouncy balls, while MK was sucking on a swirly lollipop, pieces of chocolate in his pocket, and a sticky hand sling that he is slinging everywhere.
“So you like racing?” MK asked as they left the arcade, besides the Monkey Mech he noticed that Mei tended to go to the racing games more often.
“Yes! One day I will have my own motorcycle and I will be faster than anyone, even the Monkey King!” Mei declared.
“Even the Monkey King? Wow that is fast,” he said in awe, he read the story of the Journey to the West from the library. He was quickly enamored with the story the more he read and he soon began to idolize the great Monkey King. To think that such a being could ever exist in the first place was amazing! He did find it funny that the great Monkey King rival was named Macaque, it was hilarious to think that his dad could ever have powers to fight on equal standing with a god-like immortal. Grumpy? Sure! Easy annoyed? Oh yeah definitely, but scary? Ha! The scariest thing Dad has ever done was glare at his patients when they were being too noisy, but for some reason it always works as they shrink back in fear. He mentioned it to Yanyu and the demon gang one time and well-
“HAHAHAH/PFFTTTTT/SQUAK SQUAWK SQUAAAKK/SHEHEHEH,” Yanyu was rolling all over the floor as Minsheng was banging his feet, Daiyu was slamming the table with her wings, and Bohai was using all his tentacles to wrap himself.
-they burst out laughing when he mentioned this to them. He still hasn’t gotten a full answer for that one, all they told him was to wait.
“I wonder how far that can go?” Mei curiously asked as she watched the green sling attach itself on the top of the door that they were exiting.
“Not far, how high can your bouncy ball bounce?” He asked as he then watched her bounce the ball and saw it soar a bit high above their heads.
“Not that high either...how about we combine them,” she gave a mischievous grin as MK followed suit as he used his sticky sling and attached it to the ball.
“One,” Mei started.
“Two,” MK raised his hand in mid-air.
“Thr-”
“Ready to go kid.”
“AH!” They screamed and watched the sling and ball slip from his hand and instead of bouncing, it was thrown in Mac's face, who easily caught it.
“Not the first time I had something thrown at me,” he didn’t even blink at the outburst, though he did take a second glance at the other child next to his son, “though your new, made a friend Stardust.”
“Her name is Mei!” MK excitedly said though it didn’t look like Mei was paying attention to him at all as her focus was all on Macaque, or more specifically, his head.
“What?” The monkey demon raised an eyebrow.
“You have the longest hair I have ever seen,” her eyes sparkled as she instantly zoomed behind him and started to pull on his fur. “Can I braid it?!”
“It’s actually fur,” he corrected her.
“Can I still put it in a braid?”
“Sure.”
“Then I don’t care!” She happily proclaimed and pointed to one of the benches. “Sit.”
“...” he looked towards his kid who just shrugged his shoulders, “well I guess this is happening,” he sighed as he got a clone to take the rest of their groceries back home.
Needless to say that Mei very much enjoyed putting the demon fur in a messy, but still manageable, braid.
“You know if I had some Morning glories, they would look amazing in your hair,” she mused.
“You know their weeds right?” He pointed out.
“So? They look awesome.”
“You got me there.”
“There!” She proudly finished her creation with her green ribbon tied up at the end, “you have very fluffy hair.”
“Fur,” he once more corrected her.
“Eh fur, hair there the same thing,” she turned back from the monkey and to MK with a nervous smile, “you will definitely come back right? I haven’t finished playing all the arcade games with you.”
MK looks towards his dad with puppy dog eyes and Mei easily follows suit.
“You know those don’t work on me right,” he deadpanned and smirked at their hanging heads, “but yeah, I’ll drop him off from time to time.”
“Yes!” They both jump up in cheer, only for some of their candy to fall out and onto the floor.
“My babies!” MK rushed to pick up his pieces of semi-melted chocolate.
“Noooo!” Mei quickly began to grab as many of her jawbreakers as it rolled away.
Macaque watched them in amusement at their mad scramble to save their sugar fix.
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bl597 · 4 years
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Hello! I just found your blog and I loved your writing 💜 Idk if I can request something? Like the reader forgot her clothes or ruin them, wanted to lend some from Ginny but she is smaller so ends up using Fred's, he is shooked, flustered, and happy. All fluffy and stuff. Thanks 💜💜💜
hello, sweetie! thank you sooooooo much 💞💞 of course you can, feel free to request as many imagines as you want to! I hope you enjoy it, sorry it took me so long to post it! 💖
warnings: fluff yay, kind of gender neutral!reader (?), it got a little small (sorry), english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes! requests are open!!
my masterlist ♡
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Ginny, your best friend, had invited you to stay at the Burrow during your summer break, and you, of course, accepted it. You loved the family of redheads as if it was your own, and loved to stay at the Burrow. It had been almost two weeks since you arrived and you and the 'kids' were having lots of fun together.
You, Ginny, Ron, the twins, Harry, Bill and Charlie were playing quidditch, and Molly (as she told you to call her), Hermione and Arthur (as he also told you to call him) were cheering for you all. It was funny to play with them, since you were competitive little shits and didn't want to lose, so you all made a bet: the team that loses has to degnome the garden, and no one wanted to do it.
Your team lost and you had to degnome the garden right after the game because the twins wouldn't let you guys live if you didn't do it as soon as possible. After about an hour or so, Molly told you all to take a shower so you could eat something. You and Ginny went first and the boys went after.
You were with Ginny in her room, looking for something comfortable to wear. Frowning, you turned to her “Hey, Ginny, could you borrow me a shirt? Mine are dirty.”
“Sure” she said, looking for a shirt in her wardrobe. She then handed you a white shirt and you thanked her, putting it on but pouting when you realised it was too small and too tight for you “Do you want me to look for some other?” she asked.
“Yes, please” you nodded, smiling at her and folding the shirt, putting it where it was again.
She then left the room and you sat down on the bed, waiting for her to return. After a few minutes she came back with a bigger shirt, handing it to you with a small smirk. You thanked her, finding her a little suspicious but just ignoring it.
The shirt was big and really comfortable, it smelt like the Burrow and a weirdly familiar cologne, but you couldn't identify where you had smelt it before. When you turned to her, she was smiling widely at you, practically beaming with pride. You opened your mouth to ask why she was like this, but Mrs Weasley's voice interrupted you, calling you two to tell you dinner is ready. Ginny then dragged you downstairs with her, the smile as big as always.
The first person you saw was Ron, who looked at the shirt you were wearing and then at Ginny, mouthing something like 'is that his shirt?', to which Ginny nodded excitedly. Ron then left, smirking at your confused face. You turned to Ginny, ready to ask her what the hell was that when you were interrupted once again, this time by George.
“Look what we have here.” he said smirking while placing an arm around your shoulder. “So you liked Freddie's shirt, uh, (Y/n)?”
“What?” you asked, already feeling your face getting hot.
“Hey, Fred! I've found your shit!” he yelled to his twin, who just entered the room. When he locked eyes with you, his face became as hot and red as his hair, just like your face was and he lowered his head to avoid your curious eyes, with what looked like a shy smile on his lips.
“Ginny!” you exclaimed, blushing furiously.
But when you turned around to face her, she was smirking. She then cupped her ear, as if she heard something “Oh, sorry, mom just called me and George to help her. Have fun, you two” she said, pulling George by his arm so he could follow her, they both giggling.
You and Fred stayed quiet, too embarrassed to say something or look at each other. You glanced at him, noticing he was shirtless, but then you quickly looked away, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable, focusing on the roof instead. “So,” you shyly spoke “why are you shirtless?"
“Because you're with my shirt” he said, chuckling.
“Oh.” you looked at his face, an apologetic half smile on your face. “I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was yours. I can ta-”
“No, it's okay” he cut you off “It's okay, you can stay with it. I'll just find another one.”
“Okay, then.” you smiled at him “Now, if you excuse me, I'll kill your sister right now.”
“I'll put some clothes on before mom catches me and then I can help you” he winked, climbing the stairs to go to his room, leaving you a blushing mess.
~
After that day, you and Fred were kind of awkward with each other, and whenever you two were alone, there was this uncomfortable silence. Like, he made a few jokes but it just felt weird. Ginny and George didn't stop teasing the shit out of you two ever since then, always nudging you when he entered the room or vice versa.
It was kind of boring, actually. You really liked spending time with the twins, especially Fred, but now you couldn't say anything without making the situation awkward. The fact that you always remembered that moment also didn't really help, since all you could think about was Fred's face when he saw you in his shirt. His face was as red as his hair and he was looking down, but there was still that small smile on his face that made you wonder a lot. Was he trying to hide his laugh? Or was he actually smiling?
The thought that he probably was smiling made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy. You didn't really want to admit it to yourself, but you may or may not have feelings for the redhead). It was obvious to anyone who looked at you whenever Fred was around; you were a blushing and stuttering mess, and could barely function like a normal human being. Ginny – and honestly the whole castle – knew about your 'secret' feelings for her old brother, she noticed the not-so subtle stares you sent Fred's way everytime you were in the same room and she was sick of watching her brother doing the exact same thing with you, so that was why she and George came up with the 'shirt plan'.
You were now sitting with Ginny and Hermione on the Burrow's garden, just admiring the beautiful sunset in front of you. Hermione then nudged Ginny with her elbow, raising her brow at the redhead with a look that you didn't really understand, which made you furrow. Ginny then nodded, the same diabolic smile on both their faces.
“Mione, I just remembered something! We have to do that... thing! Yeah, that thing! Remember?” she exclaimed, already getting up. “Let's go!”
“Oh, yeah! Yeah, the thing!” Hermione said, quite awkwardly, getting ready to leave with Ginny.
“Can I go too?” you asked, looking at them whilst pouting.
“No, sorry” Ginny said “It's..”
“A thing for only two people! Sorry, (Y/n/n)” Hermione quickly cut her off, giving you an apologetic smile before dragging Ginny with her, whispering something you couldn't hear.
You sighed, enjoying the view anyway. You stayed like that for a few minutes, the sunlight kissing your skin, its warmth making you feel a little less cold. Despite being summer now, the night breeze was really cold, and you cursed yourself for not bringing a jacket or a jumper like Hermione told you to.
After a minute or two you heard footsteps quietly approaching you, then the person sat down next to you without saying anything, just enjoying the beautiful view. You saw the messy red hair sitting beside you, his blue sweater with a large yellow 'F' on it made you realise who it was.
“Aren't you cold?” his deep voice brought you back to reality and you blinked at him, shaking your head slowly. “Are you sure?”
“I'm fine, Fred” you answered shyly, still not looking directly at him.
He didn't say anything and you two fell in an almost comfortable silence for the first time ever since the 'shirt plan'. You then felt something on your shoulders, something soft and that made you warm up. Looking down, you saw a jacket that you recognized as his and it smelt exactly like that shirt, Fred's scent was intoxicating and you swore you could never get enough of it.
“Nice view, don't you think?” he asks whilst turning to face you and smiling.
“Yeah.” you nodded “The sun is amazing, especially at this time of the day.”
“The sun is beautiful too, but I prefer another view” he said quietly, his husky voice sending shivers down your spine.
“And what is that?” you asked shyly, seeing his face lit up and a smirk replace his smile.
“You.”
You opened your mouth to say something, but you never found the right words. What were you supposed to do at this moment? You didn't even need to see yourself in a mirror to know that your face is just as hot and red as fire now, and you were pretty sure he definitely noticed it, the playful smirk on his face confirming your suspicions.
“Oh” was all you managed to say. You mentally face palmed yourself, embarrassed by your lack of coherent answers. “Thank you?”
He laughed quite loudly, throwing his head back. You confusedly looked at him, silently asking what was so funny and he just shook his head, still giggling. “You're weird.” he replied between giggles, giving you a big smile.
“That's really rude of you, did you know that?” you asked, furrowing your brows.
“I meant it in a good way, love”
You crossed your arms, huffing, and turned to watch the sunset that was now almost gone. The sky was a beautiful mix of orange and pink shades and it looked like a real life painting. You were too focused on the beautiful sky in front of you that you didn't even notice Fred's silly smile, looking at you in awe.
“So, someone told me you have feelings for me. Is that true, (Y/l/n)?” he asked in a playful tone, slowly inching closer to you.
“Who told you that?!” you exclaimed, looking at him with wide eyes “It was Ginny or George, wasn't it? Oh, I'll kill them!”
“Maybe” he quietly spoke before smirking again “Well, I might return these feelings.”
“What?!”
“You heard me the first time” he playfully rolled his eyes “Can you confirm if the rumors are true?”
“Which rumors?” you stuttered, blushing.
“That we have a date next week”
“What?!”
“You're not as smart as I thought you were” he joked “I was asking if you wanted to go on a date next week? With me?”
You only nodded, not trusting your own voice to say anything at the moment. He smiled widely at you before turning back to the sky in front of you two, you both watching it silently, just enjoying each other's company.
You smirked when you heard whispers a few feet behind you, whose voices you recognized as Ginny, Hermione and George's excitedly cheering that their little 'plan' worked.
~
taglist ♡
@witchorical @fific7 @iamak20 @msmimimerton @grierpilots @idontknowwhatthisisfam @imseeinggred
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theravennest · 3 years
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Let’s Talk: The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion
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I finished all 40 eps about two weeks ago, actually. I enjoyed it for the most part, the 1st half especially, but there were several things near the end that took me out. 
But first some of the good bits...
The cast chemistry was immaculate. Our four main lead actors were a lot of fun together. Not just Zhang Zhehan and Ju Jing Yi, but also Wang You Shuo and Xu Jiaqi (Loved them!). The four of them have such obvious ease with each other after their previous work together in Legend of Yun Xi and it made scenes with any combination of the main four really pop. 
I was especially drawn to the sisters’ relationship and the Prince-Vassal bond going on between Prince Su and Little Marquis. (Y’all know I’m a sucker for both sibling stories and stories about fictional royals and their loyal vassals.)
Most of the ancillary characters were interesting, actually. As y’all know from my last post about this one, I was crack shipping like crazy all the side characters. 😂 This cast made it easy for me.
Except for Prince An. (Sorry to hit the bad so early.) Good god, I hated that man. His character was poorly drawn in pretty much every way, which is unfortunate cuz he’s the main antagonist. Any story with a main antagonist that just doesn’t work is always gonna be weaker.
Also, no offense to people who like that actor but he was the only cast member who did absolutely nothing for me in terms of performance. So much of the story was focused on his weaksauce motivation and dry acting like, my god, put me out of my misery I do not care.
Anyway, the set design and costuming was top notch and I even enjoyed the broader story ideas the show was trying to put forth. The sitcom vibe of the first 20 eps or so was SOOO good. Our four mains’ comedic timings were pitch perfect. 
Unfortunately, the writing took a sharp nosedive in the back 3rd or so and it had a rough ending. (The lightning strike on the tower scene, the fight in the underground temple, the return of Prince An’s mom...all of that was trash. let’s be real.)
I mostly blame this on three things: the missteps with the Prince An character, the lack of development of Rong’s prophetic dreams even though that was the main premise of the show, and the jump-the-shark moment that was the wedding night and its subsequently underwritten fallout. 
Now to clarify, I don’t mean to say the wedding night event shouldn’t have happened at all but rather the execution of it within the story was poor and it negatively impacted 90% of the other character motivations/progressions and the overall pacing. 
You know, it felt like that thing you do as a writer where you wake up and have a specific scene in your mind. It’s evocative, impactful, fun, or otherwise intense. But you just have that scene and it’s something that would have to happen in the middle of your story. So you work your way backwards to try to get to that scene and you do your best to get the characters to make decisions to get there but when you sit down to write nothing works out. It’s clunky or OOC for the scene to still happen so you end up having to either scrap the evocative scene or keep the clunky lead up and hope no one notices. That’s what that wedding scene and everything that happened after felt like. They wrote themselves into a corner and just struggled to recover until the bitter end. 
The main pairing suffered the most because of the poor writing choices. No matter how much chemistry ZZH and JJY have together, even they could not completely salvage Rong’s yo-yoing behavior with Prince Su. They started off so wholesome and then dove into such toxicity and miscommunication for no reason. 
Don’t get me wrong. I can very easily enjoy angst. But Fu Rong consistently broke this man down. After ep 25-26, it stopped being good angst and became so awful to watch all the emotional manipulation and turmoil. There’s something broken in the writing if 9 out of 10 times Prince Su cried or fell into depression it was because of something Rong did or said to him after jumping to a conclusion with only part of the puzzle pieces gathered. 
I could forgive some stuff because Prince An was manipulating things but some stuff was just all Rong not giving Prince Su the benefit of the doubt or plain old not doing her due diligence in investigating. She is supposed to have inherited the most prolific and successful spy organization in the show and she still got 90% of her conclusions wrong. It was like she was determined to always think the worst of Prince Su no matter what despite how often he went above and beyond to help her. Despite the fact that he literally had a reputation as a general for being a harsh taskmaster but fair and just. 
I think what broke me was when she did the bare minimum investigation into her own father’s death and just fully blamed Prince Su without confronting him honestly or even considering his personality or their relationship up until that point. She really believed a single street seller’s entire testimony over the man she lived with and supposedly loved for months. Girl...
And this is after she’d previously mistakenly accused him of killing her mentor with very few facts to the point where she stabbed him on their wedding night.
There came a point where I actually wanted Prince Su to finally, truly divorce Rong and settle down with someone who could love him right. Maybe give him time to heal from the repeated heartbreaks, betrayals, and the literal stab wound in his chest but he was so fucking in love with Rong, he just couldn’t escape.
(If there were behind the scenes production reasons for the clunky-ness of the back half, I would not be surprised at all but ultimately they don’t matter cuz the story we got was the story we got.)
Imagine if we had gotten a Rong who used her prophetic dreams to navigate the cut throat world of royal politics. Or imagine if we’d gotten Rong as a true apprentice to Ruyi who learned both metalsmithing and spycraft in the first half and took over the pavilion as a competent leader in the second half. As it stands, it just felt like wasted potential.
I’m glad they had the modern day special AU eps tho cuz those were great. Zhang Zhehan and Ju Jing Yi had the opportunity to really showcase their incredible chemistry but in a modern setting and with better writing than the back 3rd of BRYP.
Now let’s talk Zhang Zhehan since he was the reason I started this in the first place. I loved him in this. I truly did. He was stern and serious but also playful and sweet. He was romantic but awkward, badass but vulnerable. He really delivered a nuanced and charming performance. I loved every second.
I think my favorite moment wasn’t some badass fight or even a super romantic moment. No, it was when he got drunk and started crying like a little baby cuz Rong was constantly doubting him no matter what he did. It was simultaneously sad and hilarious. Like gut busting funny. Y’all can watch it here:
youtube
I laughed so fucking hard at this. Oh my god, guys! This shit was too much.
Random Thoughts:
The romance between the 2nd leads was A+. Truly an adorable affair. Though I think they should’ve gotten together officially earlier around ep 25 or so and we should’ve seen the rest with them as a couple.
The costuming was so good y’all. For all the main four characters but I was especially drawn to Prince Su’s outfits.
The ghostly pale look with the bright red lips and eyeshadow makeup for Rong did not bother me at all. I actually liked it for her though I think it would’ve worked better if she’d had more explicit prophetic abilities.
I could’ve used more actual war scenes with Prince Su and Little Marquis.
The OST for the show SLAPPED!
That one kid spy in Ruyi Pavilion was voiced by the same actor as Chengling from WOH and I have never double-taked harder. lmao
Even though there were things I didn’t like in this show, I appreciated how gay I could make it in my last post. Truly it was a bisexual’s dream aesthetically.
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