#its always The Tall Gay Man and a short bi girl

[alinusshhka]

Challenged myself to drawing genshin characters from memory and decided on my two inseparable queens😔💅

Ayato is my lil babygirl, i even got his signature sword bc he deserves the best

And yun yun is just my beloved queen, i love her design and character very dearly

[honeyandbloodpoetry]

Gender Thoughts Pt 1 and 2

The first time I put a binder on, a little under a week ago, I felt euphoric. Ever since I hit puberty very early on, I felt uncomfortable with my breasts. They never felt right on me, and even though I’ve come to love them sometimes, they still don’t always feel like they match up. I hated how people always looked at them, pointed out how much they showed in low cut shirts when I never even noticed they were--or even wanted them to. They were just there. I liked the way low cut shirts feel and look on me, I just can’t help these giant sacks of flesh that sit on my chest. 

Except...now I can! I ran my hands over my smooth chest, feeling bright. I looked into the mirror, and felt something warm wash over me. I put on my new masculine clothes, letting my partner clip on my new suspenders. I realized that I was shaking as I looked at myself again… I looked like a boy. I felt like a boy. Like a man. And I liked it. I wanted it. Admitting that to myself was like coming home. 

I remember being in sixth grade, walking around the track for my civil air patrol class. I had been slotted in with the rest of the girls, the boys walking ahead of us. I remember feeling uncomfortable being shoved in with only girls, and looking at the gaggle of boys ahead. The exact thought that whispered in my brain was “I wish I was a boy. I want to be like them, with them.” I never forgot that moment, and how strange it made me feel. How it was easier to shake that thought away, and dismiss those feelings. Except they never really left, did they? 

I remember sitting on my bed, crying with my best friend kneeling in front of me. I remember telling her how I didn’t like feeling like a woman all the time. That I wished I could be a black shadow, monstrous, androdynous. Specifically like Venom. She took my hand, did my makeup all in black and helped me pick out the perfect black outfit to achieve that dark, gothic look. I was so incredibly happy and validated. But I still felt like something was missing. 

I remember going into an Adam and Eve for laugh, not expecting much since I am an asexual with a low libido. I remember seeing packers and feeling my chest tighten. I never liked my genitalia--I had wished for a cloaca or something akin to that, but since that was biologically impossible for a human… I sometimes wished I had the opposite of a vagina. I frequently imagined what it would be like to have a penis. I frequently lamented the fact that I didn’t have one. I took the box up to the counter to ask some questions, my dress swishing as I went. The cashier told me it was for trans people only, and a girl like me couldn’t have it. She didn’t know what asexuality was, and had tried polyamory once but decided it was bad when her girlfriend kissed her boyfriend. I was upset, disheartened, and left the store empty handed feeling frustrated and lost.

I remember finally cutting the long, curly locks that had frustrated and imprisoned me for so long. Seeing all of my hair fall to the floor, staring into the mirror as the barber buzzed the back of my head… It made me want to cry tears of joy. It was the first time in my entire life that I had looked at my hair and was happy. The first time I could look in the mirror and feel like myself. Then I remember wanting to go shorter, and my barber encouraging me to keep it a little longer so I didn’t look manly, so I could still be soft and feminine. The way my stomach dropped and the sick feeling in my chest only increased when he began to make fun of the gay men who came down the street near his favorite restaurant. I never saw that barber again. I instead found a nice local place down the road from my apartment, where the kind lady cut it all off without question, other than “Why?” and accepted my warm “It makes me happy. It makes me feel beautiful.” 

But wearing that binder for the first time? It was as if a beam of light had funneled its way directly into my heart. I felt like a handsome man, with just a little bit of striking man boob, and it felt so right. My partner called me a dashing boy and my heart began to race. I still feel his hand tracing my jawline as he called me handsome, and the butterflies it sent up through my belly, even after more than eleven years. 

I love my partner--he identifies as agender and primarily masculine, and has been on the lookout for a good pair of size thirteen shoes to wear with a dress. They also wear joggers and flip flops and graphic tees and can’t seem to stop talking about the ocean and outer space. They’re probably one of my biggest inspirations for finding myself, and being authentically me. 

I’m not super sure who or what I am right now. I’m still figuring that out, but I’m pretty sure I’m somewhere between agender and genderfluid. I feel like me more than anything else, but all pronouns make me feel good. I feel like all of them and none of them at once, but I swing between wanting to be feminine and masculine pretty strongly, though I enjoy being masculine most of all--even when I’m wearing dresses and pink. I feel like a beautiful person in a dress or a button down, no matter what gender I feel like today or tomorrow. 

I am me. And I am one dashing boy, and one beautiful girl. 

4 July 2021

XXX

Since first writing this little essay, I’ve been doing a lot more examination of my gender. I have come to the conclusion that I am transmasc and nonbinary, and am shaky on the title of genderfluid. I am feeling less and less like a woman--if anything, occasionally adjacent to a woman rather than actually being one. I love feeling like and presenting as a man. I have my first appointment with a gender services doctor at my local community clinic for consultation on starting hrt testosterone. I am planning to start with low dose first, and see how I feel. 

I am still unsure of my exact identity, but I have found great euphoria with being and presenting as a man. I love being a man and everything that entails. I have loved myself like never before. Being with my partner is amazing, and he has been endlessly supportive--even recounting little things they had noticed throughout the years. One of the funniest being that I only ever referred to my body parts--my belly, hands, hair, genitalia--with masculine pronouns. I always seemed to see my body as male even if I had a certain sort of dissonance from it. 

Coming out has been difficult. I have had both positive and negative experiences from it. I have been told going on testosterone would be self harm, and that I can’t be something I’m not. I’ve had coworkers I trusted out me without my permission. But I have also had positive affirmation, polite questions, and discussions. I am terrified to tell my mother and her boyfriend--I have no idea how they will react and am terrified that I will be disrespected and disowned. 

But I am prepared to do whatever it takes to be my happiest and most authentic self. 

I have been binding a lot more often, wearing sports bras for long shifts at work, and occasionally going without either when I feel like letting my man boobs hang free. I’ve had the delightful experience of going to a men’s big and tall store and finally wearing pants. I grew up as a fat girl and felt as if I had to perform high femininity to be taken seriously and be treated well--and had been told by someone I trusted that I was too fat to wear pants, which I heavily internalized. So I had completely cast them away in favor of dresses and skirts, bows and gaudy jewelry. Realizing that I could wear pants was...totally wild. That I could be comfortable and look good in pants and shorts, and that it didn’t matter what people did or thought of me was life changing. Maybe I’ll feel like being feminine again someday, but right now this masculinity and masculine clothing, with perhaps the added spice of funky earrings, feels like home. 

I also grew up autistic and with PCOS, both which I think have affected my gender identity. Being autistic, I truly struggled to connect to others socially, and especially to understand societal norms. Being a proper woman felt like I was making up for everything else I was lacking--I may have been awkward, semi-verbal and weird with no friends, but at least I was cute and girlish. I never connected to womanhood though, and always felt out of place no matter how hard I tried. With PCOS, I had heightened testosterone, which meant wider breasts and shoulders, a lack of periods, and excessive body hair. I recall the endocrinologist asking high school age me if I had excessive body hair around my stomach, breasts, etc. and my mother jumping to say no I didn’t...even though I did. I remember suddenly feeling very self aware and ashamed of something completely natural, and even something I started to enjoy. I started shaving my entire body then. 

I even remember being in middle school, and thinking nothing of my hairy legs. In fact, I loved my body hair and how it felt. A rude girl began making fun of me though, tutting her tongue as she cooed, “Aw, does your mommy not let you shave?” Among other things, all throughout many years of severe bullying and abuse. I remember feeling ashamed, but not knowing why, and immediately shaving my legs, covering them in nicks from my shaky and unsteady hands, that same night. 

So many things set me back in my gender expression. So many things contributed to me willful ignorance and denial. I remember wanting to be butch, and everyone in my life laughing at me and saying I was too soft for that. That sweet, sharp ache in my chest. I remember going to a salad bar with my mother, wearing a button up and telling her I wanted to wear some more boyish clothes around that same time--I had already told her that I was bi sometime earlier. I remember her lip curling, looking uncomfortable, and telling me that I better not become one of those boy girls. My late father was very vocal in denouncing homosexuality and specifically men loving men--something which always sat horribly wrong with me on a deeper level. 

I think I might ending up being a trans man. I am still unsure and figuring myself out, but I struggle greatly with the autistic need for sameness vs. the trans need for change. My sapphic love of women has always been very important to me, and fully becoming a man rather than genderfluid is scary for that very reason. I am still navigating my identity and what it means to me and my reality--but no matter what, being a man, being masculine is integral to who I am. 

I was called a “sir” at a job interview for the first time the other day, and nearly began to bawl from sheer joy. The gender euphoria from that and so many moments is worth so much more to me than the years of suffering and ignorance and my ongoing struggles with dysphoria. I finally got a packer and have had help from my partner in learning to position it properly--I am thinking of cutting my hair even shorter. I have almost perfected a pretty basic tie tying skill. Okay, not really, but I’m getting there. I feel deep inside that even though my father loved me, he would not like who and what I am. Still, I wear the last watch he ever wore, and hope to be a good man like him--and to learn from the toxic parts of him to be an even better man. 

I am very excited to start hrt. I am terrified of hair loss and vaginal atrophy, but I look forward to so much more. I cannot wait for bottom growth and body hair, for the voice drop that will hopefully get me misgendered less. I have always felt disconnected from my voice and look forward to getting to know it better as it changes with me. I look forward to meeting with new facial hair. Working out and growing muscle. I just look forward to my second puberty and becoming more like myself. I look forward to navigating and exploring my gender even further, both with loved ones, support groups, and myself. 

More than anything, I am just happy to be me. 

25 August 2021

[galaxia-art]

[image description: a lineup of all the queer superpowered characters (19 in total) from the webcomic someone always cares, standing in rainbow order, all in super form and wearing small pride acessories, mostly badges. they’re all chilling and some interacting with the characters standing nearby. image 1 is the full drawing, images 2-6 are the first image split up into groups of 2 or 3 characters. the final image are the remaining 6 cishet characters in a more sketchier drawing. they dont seem to be getting along as two of them are argueing and the others are very uncomfortable. longer ID continued under the cut due to length]

happy pride! ok its july now but i drew this in june, so. anyway this took. a while. suprised i managed it

just stuck to the superpowered in this one, sorry cap’s mums

[from left to right, in rainbow order, staring with black, to red, then following the rainbow back round to purple and pink. first is iris, a short demonic looking person with a ninbinary pin, nervously wringing their hands and looking to omen beside them. omen is a grim reaper looking person with skeleton limbs and nb, aro, and rainbow pins and a they/them badge.

next is xandra, a tall woman in white with a long coat and a trans pride badge and lesbian bracelet. shes smiling down at mori, an old man next to her, and holding her arm. mori has normal clothes including an old bomber jacket and trans and bi badges.

next is inkmaster, a woman dressed in red and covered in various red tattoos, as well as trans and pan bracelets. shes miling and reaching up to a fair few butterflies flying towards her, flying over the heads of other characters. above her is dominic, a large, odd looking orange bird that looks sort of like a fluffy chicken mixed with a cockatoo but also not.

below them is lin, a young woman in yellow and orange, including her wheelchair. she has a bi badge pinned to her capelet, and is exitedly talking to medicas, a tired looking woman in a green doctors coat and hijab, holding onto an energy drink. she has a heart chaped ace pin and thin lesbian badge.

next is mateo, a lanky dude with goggles in his fluffy hair and a scarf. his cropped sleeveless jacket has 6 various badges, aro, ace, nb, trans, and two pronouns badges: he/him and they/them. he also had a nb bracelet and aro ring, and is smiling and resting his elbow on the shoulder of rami, a starry eyed boy with gay and ace bracelets. hes grinning and flapping his hands.

beside him is swarm, and short woman in a white and teal suit, with horns and a lesbian badge. shes raising one arm into the air as that hand dissolves into the butterflies mentioned earlier. beside her is dante, a pointy eared shapeshifter in their usualy outfit but just blue, their hair now with shaved sides and long on top, tied in a bun. they have 5 badges, bi, aro, genderfluid, nb, and trans flags. theyre staring over at lewis.

lewis is flipping the bird with both hands over at his friend jade. lewis is is a blue jumpsuit and sleeveless hoodie, with ace and bi pins, and a trans flag necklace. between lewis and jade is arrow, a tall man looking very concerned at the two teenagers. arrow is in a white and dark blue supersuit with an arror emblem and bi pride bracelet. he has a hand on jade’s shoulder.

jade ignores him in favor of flipping lewis the bird back with one hand and a fingergun in the other. jade is a girl in lavender and poofy shorts. she also has a trans bracelet, lesbian badge, and rainbow and trans necklaces. behind her is quartz, a grumpy looking person in regular clothes and one blue-purple arm made entirely out of jagged crystal. their hair and eyes are split through the middle, blue and purple. they have a nb and bi pins, and is frowning up at the boy at the very end, who is sitting on the ceiling.

next is cam, a short teenager with purple bangs and 3 badges: ace, pan, and nb. theyre glaring up at the woman next to them, holding up a floating, glowing, circular shield between them and the woman. the woman, faete, looks like a faerie and is entirely in pink, with a tail, glowing wings, and with a lesbain badge. her arms rest on the crossbar of her sword.

above and behind her is a young man named amos, grinning and sitting cross legged on the ceiling. he does not seem to be affected by normal gravity, as if gravity falls towars the ceiling. hes oldler than he was seen in the comic, with more scars and his old braclet in addition to his brothers necklace. his hair is bright pink with some yellow strands.

the other image only has 6 characters. tornado, a woman in black and a bird mask, holding a mug and leaning away from geode, a pointy eared woman in blue, wearing a featureless mask, yelling over at her husband. between him and her however is tsunami, in a blue wetsuit and goggles, holding up both hands, palm outwards, and looking super uncomfortable.

wraith, geodes husband, is a man in dark purple, with glasses, creepy eyes, and a dark cloak. behind him is mindforce, a tall man in purple. his expression can only be seen through the eye holes but he seems concerned. lastly, a woman in orange, sun flower, just stands there, one hand face palming, the other resting at her side, next to her pistols. end id]

[mikenewtonhateblog]

My oc’s aka too long of a gd post

The “BL” Crew (does not stand for boys love I’m just a moron who made that abbreviation before knowing what it stands for). My main crew and main series, a lot is a big WIP right now as I’m slowly redoing the first book and all the lore. Why? I love torture. Book is fantasy type but I won’t specify what.

Lacie, the protagonist. God tier idiot, bisexual bipolar depressed MESS, insomniac, former theater kid, doesn’t know what she wants out of life but currently it is not This(plot of book). Hot headed, impulsive, crude, rude, Mommy IssuesTM, would rather be taking a nap right now, rules are made to be broken, absolutely fucking FERAL, more bags under her eyes than the airport lost and found. 5’5, 130lbs, Aries, age 18, white as shit like literally the whitest human you have ever seen, strawberry blonde hair in a 2011 Hayley Willaims haircut with long bangs, the darkest brown eyes you’ve ever seen that stare directly into your soul. Lanky, no curves, body of a 12 year old boy but works out so she can and will kick your ass and thats a threat. Not human?

Josh. Soft boy, smart, Lacie’s cousin and only friend for like the first 18 years of her life, autistic anxious mess who’s special interest is anchient egyptian history, is in honors classes, despises math, passes out when his girlfriend looks too cute, just needs a hug. Can eat a whole carton of easy mac if left alone, whole wardobe is the same outfit just different colors/hoodies, sensory issues, seriously can someone give this guy a hug. 5’9, 150lbs, Pisces, age 18, mixed (half whatever flavor of white Lacie’s family is [they don’t even know its just some scandanavian shit and irish], and half mexican on his mom’s side), medium olive skin with freckles and moles, dark chocolate brown hair that’s a bit of a 2009 Beiber cut, warm brown eyes, not beefy, a lil thicc and self concious about it but squishy boys are GOOD. Gets bit by a werewolf so now he is one his mood on it is “thats a lot to unpack but let’s just throw the whole suitcase away”.

Zander. There is not one braincell in this man, himbo KING, pansexual dumbass with undiagnosed ADHD, no impulse control, head empty and full at the same time, PTSD, his fashion sense should be an actual crime, gets in fights to feel something, basic requirements for him to be attracted to you: kick his ass. Drinks his respect women juice, sees a folding table and must immediately launch himself on it, chaotic, cannot drive a car and will not, food aggression and eats enough for 3 people but never gains weight which is ILLEGAL, him and Lacie may be a couple.....but in this house we stan slow burn, he talks in caps and every sentence either ends with a question mark or exclaimation point, likes romcoms. 6’2, 190lbs, Sagittarius, age 19, austrailian roots and has the accent but is from [REDACTED FOR STORY REASONS], white, dorito shaped with long legs, blueish black hair that’s long and messy, dark navy eyes that match his hair, bigass neck scar from [REDACTED]. Not human

Peter. Gay dad friend who is TIRED of having to be in charge of a bunch of teenagers, only one with full functioning braincells, lowkey a genius who loves engineering, mixes magical technology with human technology because he likes to play god, is he ever sober? No one knows, will kill for a bottle of single malt, his fashion sense? Tastefully expensive suits perfectly tailored. Likes building his own weapons that no one else knows how to even use, generally non-threatening but can get scary if needed. 6’4, 140lbs string bean man, Scorpio, age 179 but looks early 30s, I know I said Lacie is the whitest human but he’s even paler like a literal sheet of paper with scandanavian roots/ancestors were vikings or some shit, blonde hair styled like 2013 Brendon Urie lmfao, light crystal blue eyes. He’s a vampire and was born one.

Danielle. Tiny, sweet, queen of girls supporting girls, comments on all her friends instagram posts with 20 emojis, LOVES fashion and has a wardrobe that would make anyone jealous, oozes feminine energy, only child and parents are in love still, gets exactly 8 hours of sleep each night and wakes up looking like a disney princess. Just because she is small and cute doesn’t mean you should underestimate her she WILL fuck your shit up. Quiet when angey which is terrifying. Josh is her bf and she loves him so much but also loves teashing the shit out of him. Legally cannot cuss, polite, used her high heels as a weapon once, speaks like 5 languages because studying them is her hobby, gardens, hugs everyone. 5’0, 110, Taurus, age 18, mixed (half french-american, half Korean-american), glowy skin always, PETITE frame aka the friend everyone can pick up when they hug, long past her waist curly brown hair, bright green eyes. She’s not fully human as she has fae blood in her and this gives her the ability to talk to and control plants. Flower crowns for everyone

Becca. Theater kid who would die to sing in Wicked and has the vocal range to do so, cannot wait to graduate and go to her dream college which she got into and a scholarship, closeted lesbian bc her whole giant family is extremely catholic and she feels like not dealing with it, “no boys allowed in bedroom” rule is her favorite joke, chill, middle child of 5 siblings and just wants some peace and quiet for ONCE. Her fashion sense is “I’m dropping subtle hints I’m gay but only to other gays”, has a black belt and took self defense classes. 5’6, 145lbs, Virgo, age 18, Latina (cuban and mexican mix), darker brown skin with light freckles over her nose, athletic build, eyebrows on POINT, bright caramel eyes, short light brown hair cut in a bob, has a tiny nose stud, always wears a blue friendship bracelet her gf made her. Human

Anika. Calling her a bitch/slut is a compliment, bisexual, a bit of a mean girl but she grows out of it give her time!!! Is always Too Much, the horny friend, favorite color is red so thats almost all of her outfits, loves to show off her body as much as she can because she’s hot and knows it and thrives in her own confidence. Her mom is literally like Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls but married a rich man 20 years older than her, Anika doesn’t know her bio dad but thats fine neither does her mom and her step dad is nice and does his best to be a dad. Becca’s gf, always hanging out at her home so Becca can get some quiet because Anika’s an only child and has a pool. 5’9, 135lbs, Gemini, age 18, white, long layered dark reddish brown hair, teal-blue eyes, swimmers body type (I normally do not mention bust size but she would want the internet to know she was blessed with big bahoogles so there you go), can sprint in heels. Half mermaid (boy was that a surprise considering her mom doesn’t know who her father is LOL)

Rex. Nb uses they/them he/him pronouns but honestly will respond to any, goth lite, only attracted to men and ace, can read minds so knows all your secrets, mischevious little shit, great friends with Zander and enjoys his dumbass thoughts and that he’s basically a human version of Jackass, wears too many rings, goth boots for kicking and fashion babey, always has the freshest memes and will not hesitate to roast in the group chat, hangs with the girls most of the time. Chaos god who loves making art, be gay do crime, skateboard and spraypaint. 5’8”, 165lbs, Leo, age 18, Native American, masculine frame, dark brown skin, blue eyes, firetruck red shoulder length hair that’s usually in a ponytail, knock-off gucci sunglasses just for judging their friends. Has magic in their blood so not entirely human and can cast spells and shit (don’t roast me its a wip and I’m doing my research)

Sam. Boho goddess, aromantic, makeup and nails are always instagram worthy, quiet and stoic type but losens up around close friends, Rex is her best friend, has some trauma and doesn’t want to talk about it, emotionally numbed out a bit and wants to purely vibe. Has seen some of the worst parts of humanity and wishes she hadn’t, finds no point in being bitter or resentful though because that won’t change anything, loves cats and once she moves out shes adopting one or three. Has wine aunt energy. 5’4, 200lbs PLUS SIZE QUEEN, Scorpio, age 18, Filipino (her parents are immigrants fun fact!), really olive skin sometimes has a grey/green tinge to it, dark brown almost black shoulder length hair, gold-hazel eyes. Sam’s the victim of a family curse that requires her to consume human hearts to survive, she can transform into a pretty scary looking being and uses this curse to hunt down pedoph*les, r*pists, murderers, and abusers. The less often she feeds the less human she looks, hence the constant grey/green tinge to her skin. 

Andy. Baby of the group, must be protected at all costs, 100% didn’t sign up to be in a friendgroup of 90% monsters but highkey loves it, trans, bi, anxiety MAXED, just wants to draw comics and cosplay spiderman, has to babysit his two younger sisters a lot because his parents are....not great, and as a result now knows all the lines to Tangled and The Little Mermaid. Big nerd energy, has to draw on everything including homework, gets inspiration for comics from his friends, awkward and socially anxious, drinks way too much tea and will accidentally steal your pens. Fears include: crowds, thunder, tall angry men, tiny spaces. Just trying his best. 5’2, 100lbs BEANPOLE BOY, Leo, age 16, white (irish and scottish roots), freckles absolutely EVERYWHERE, orangey red hair thats in desperate need of a haircut, chocolate brown eyes, braces, chronic nail biter. Human and kinda wishes he wasn’t.

That’s it for now if you read all this bless u thank u here is my whole heart. Please no discourse, literally these are fictional people I’ll never publish the books they go to.

[shellsan]

Every number from the wlw ask meme!

soft wlw asks

1. how long have you known you liked girls?

I’ve never counted them out as an option in the first place, so it depends on how you look at it? I labelled myself bisexual in like 2014, and changed that to homosexual by the time 2016 ended.

2. talk about the girl who made you realise you liked girls

None in particular, that I can think of? As mentioned above, I never really counted them out to begin with and I’ve always found them to be cuter and more ‘my type’ I guess?

3. are you in a relationship at the moment?

Nope. I haven’t been in a relationship since like 2014/5?

4. do you have a crush at the moment?

Nope~

6. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

I don’t mind, but I do lean more towards feminine~

7. do you look/dress more masculine, feminine, or androgynous?

Feminine usually.

8. what’s your gaydar like?

Meh. I try not to try and ‘call’ someone else’s sexuality, and I’ve never been in a situation where its mattered before. 

9. tall girls or short girls?

Short~ (But it really doesn’t matter)

10. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Kind.

11. hugs or kisses?

Either, both? I don’t have much experience so I can’t say for sure.

12. do you have an ideal ‘type’? what would they be like?

I’ve never really thought about it? Is that weird? A girl who can make me laugh, and enjoys physical contact would be perfect though, because I’m a naturally touchy-feely person.

13. what’s your favourite personality trait of yours?

Oh man, nothing? Maybe my self-awareness? I try to recognise my own bad habits even if I don’t ultimately do anything about them.

14. what’s your favourite personality trait for a girl to have?

A sense of self-awareness (knowing their own faults and being able to acknowledge them).

15. what’s the best thing about liking girls?

How freaking good them look? Have you seen girls? They’re QUEEN.

16. do you have any friends who are wlw?

Nope, but a large majority of my female friends are bisexual, and open about it~

17. have you ever been to pride? if so, what was your first pride like?

No, I’ve never been.

18. do you like the lesbian flag?

I have nothing against it.

19. what was your first kiss with a girl like?

Soft, and nerve racking. It was my first kiss ever, and I had no idea what to do, or how to go about anything.

((I still have no idea what to do or how to go about it))

20. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

Most female kpop stars and Katie McGrath (Aka Morgana from Merlin)

21. what’s your favourite lgbt+ movie?

I don’t have one, since I’m not much of a movie watcher. I adore the anime yuri on ice though~

22. who’s your favourite openly wlw celebrity?

I honestly have none? I’m so bad with traditional celebrities and media, since I’ve never cared much for either, so the only w/w celebrity that I know is Ellen.

I went through the effort to google some and see if I recognised any, and the answer was pretty much a resounding nope.

23. do you wear makeup?

For special occasions, or if I’m really feeling it~

24. who was the first person you came out to (if you have)?

I don’t think of it as ‘coming out’, since the people I surround myself with have never been hetronormative (except my father, but we won’t go there), but I dropped to my mother that I was bisexual in the middle of a random conversation, and she didn’t blink, and we just kept on talking? I was like 11 or 12 at the time.

25. has anyone ever come out to you?

Not dramatically in the way that this sounds, but after people at work found out I was gay, a few of them revealed that they were bisexual to me, and some friends have been the same.

26. have you found a community of lgbt+ people?

I’ve never felt the need to look for one.

27. do you have any older lgbt+ people you look up to?

Not really? I look up to plenty of people, but none of that is due to their orientatio or label.

28. do you identify with butch/femme labels?

Not really. I can definitely fit myself into a femme box, but I try not to use too many labels, since I feel like they’re constricting and over all aren’t too necessary? A lesbian is a woman who loves other women. Why do we need to fit into any other roles and stereotypes, ya feel?

29. who’s your favourite fictional wlw?

Shion and Yayoi from Psycho-pass, is probably my fave, just because they’re the first to come to mind, and I adored their dynamic.

30. what experiences are you looking forward to having in the future (kissing a girl, going to pride, etc)?

Honestly, I’m mostly excited to have an actual relationship, and any of the things that come of having a relationship. The only relationships I’ve ever had have been with men when I was still considering myself as bi (and they helped me to figure out that this was not the case), and since then I’ve had nothing. 

[apicturewithasmile]

I am super fucking bored and want to procrastinate going grocery shopping so I decided to answer every fucking ask (that I liked) of that LGBT ladies ask list.

EDIT: I’m halfway through and I gotta say: If you wanna watch me lose my shit as the questions progress into more and more biphobic and misgynistic territory then you came to the right post on tumblr dot com.

1. How do you define your sexuality? ---- bisexual and queer 2. At what age did you first realize that you like girls? ---- pfff... 13? 5? 21? Who knows? 3. At what age did you first come out? ---- 13ish 4. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it? ---- I don’t know? Friends? I don’t think they reacted in any particular way because it was just an off-hand comment of mine and I hardly remember anything about it. 5. How out are you? ---- Very out. Could hardly be outer. 6. Has coming out lost you any friends? ---- Not sure about one friend who sorta stopped contacting me after I mentioned I’m bi. But we were growing apart anyway so maybe it’s a coincidence. 7. What is your current relationship status? ---- I have a boyfriend. 8. How many LGBT friends do you have? ---- Too many to count but still not enough. 9. Do you have any LGBT relatives? ---- Not to my knowledge but I don’t know many relatives of mine. 10. Have you ever cut your hair super short? ---- It is super short right now! (just had my pixie recut) 11. How often do you wear flannel? ---- Never. 12. How much do you like cats? ---- A LOT! 13. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often? ---- In summer I won’t be seen dead in pants! In winter I do wear pants more frequently but I consider dresses and skirts to be my natural form! 14. Do you wear high heels? If so, how often? ---- Rarely. Only for special occasions. 15. Do you have any tattoos? If so, what of and where? ---- Nope. 16. How accurate is your gaydar? ---- I think it’s okay. 17. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? ---- Yes. 18. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? ---- Let them do whatever they want. 19. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? ---- Unfortunately yes. 20. Ellen or Portia? ---- Neither. 21. Is your nose pierced? ---- No. 22. Would you ever want to get married, if not already? ---- Nopey nope! (unless it’s for financial/bureaucratic reasons) 23. Will you wear a dress for your wedding? 24. Would you ever want to give birth? ---- Meh. I like children and in a different timeline I definitly have some but... not in this one. 25. Have you ever watched The L Word? ---- No and I don’t plan to watch it since I’ve heard nothing but negative stuff (trans- and biphobia) from sources whose judgement I trust. 26. Have you ever dated a guy? ---- I am dating a guy right now. 27. How do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? ---- it’s annoying and homophobic 28. How many rainbow items do you own? ---- Not that mayn actually but I do have some bi merch. 29. Have you ever been to a pride festival? ---- Yes, in Berlin and Brighton. 30. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (October 11)? ---- Not really celebrated but acknowledged its existence, I guess. 31. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? ---- I have never heard of that. 32. Have you ever worn a woman’s suit? ---- I.... guess so? I don’t know. 33. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? ---- Do my boyfriend’s shorts count? 34. Do you eat meat? ---- No. 35. Do you consider yourself a feminist? ---- Yes. 36. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? ---- Elton John 37. Are you religious at all? ---- No. 38. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female woman? ---- probably more often than I even notice I do. 39. What is your ideal first date? ---- Coffee date! 40. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, dyke, or tranny? ---- I use neither of those for myself and also wouldn’t use them for anyone else unless they explicitly told me it was okay. 41. How outdoorsy are you? ---- Little. 42. In general, has being open about your sexuality affected your relationships with other females women (jesus fucking christ stop calling women “females”!!! we’re not cattle)? ---- I don’t know. Maybe it has intensified some friendships just because I started being more authentic. 43. How much makeup do you typically wear? ---- Usually none at all, sometimes lipstick and when I’m feeling very fancy some mascara and eye liner. 44. Have you ever attended a gay or lesbian wedding? ---- No. Well.... I was at a wedding of a bi women and a bi man but I know some fractions of the LGBTQIA+ community wouldn’t say this counts. 45. Are you more feminine or more masculine? ---- I’m... me? I guess others would say I’m more feminine. 46. How long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? ---- 1 1/2 years and counting :) 47. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? 48. Do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? ---- I think the person who wrote this question has a very wrong understanding of what bisexuality is; and the way this is phrased makes it really sound like “do you think bisexuality exists or is everyone really just gay or straight?” 49. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? ---- No. 50. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers? ---- Alayna Fender, Ash Hardell, ContraPoints and Lindsey Ellis 51. Do you wear any combat boots, Doc Martins, or Timberlands? ---- I have a set of boots with floral print. 52. Have you ever been hit on by another female woman (djkbdnkmg)? ---- Yes. 53. How athletic are you? ---- Not at all. 54. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use? ---- Let people be whatever gender they want to be and fucking let them pee!!! 55. What is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? ---- Not for me but looks good on some people. 56. What does equality mean to you? ---- It means equality. 57. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females women? ---- okay I’m starting to hate this list of questions more and more the further down I get. Has this person ever talked to a bisexual person before??? Has this person ever talked to another WOMAN before??? “If you’re not a 100% lesbian then.... how much percent lesbian are you?” 58. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? ---- Never had a girlfriend. 59. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? ---- No, but my name is rare in my country. 60. How flirty are you? ---- VERY! “Flirty” is my middle name. 61. Are you a virgin? ---- No but virginity is a shitty concept that should be abolished. 62. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians (i.e. Tegan & Sara, Melissa Ehteridge, Chely Wright, Elton John, Sam Smith, George Michael, Adam Lambert)? ---- ELTON JOHN!!!! Also Sia, David Bowie, Janelle Monáe... 63. Have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? ---- No and I’m not gay anyway. 64. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain. ---- Not that I can remember but I did have to listen to some biphobic bullshit in my lifetime. 65. Have you ever driven an SUV, Jeep,  or a pickup truck? ---- I can’t drive. 66. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? ---- No. 67. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. ---- Again, I think the person who wrote this is forgetting the existence of bisexuality and pansexuality and any other m-spec variation. And also... straight people exist. 68. What personality trait are you most attracted to? ---- Know that tumlr post that’s like “name a non-sexual act that turns you on” and someone responded “when they reply to your sarcasm with something even more sarcastic” 69. Boobs or butts? ---- Both. 70. Beer or wine? ---- Wine. 71. Do you have a favorite lesbian movie? ---- Don’t really watch “lesbian movies”. 72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 73. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? 74. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos? 75. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 76. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? 77. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 78. From 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? 79. From 1-10, how attractive are tall women (i.e. around 6 feet or taller)? ---- If you think I’m gonna rate women on a scale like some misogynistic fuckboy then you are wrong! 80. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? 81. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you? ---- “Has a girl ever perpetuated a bisexual stereotype that I want to confirm so I can continue distrusting bisexuals?” 82. Do you carry a purse? ---- Usually I have a little backpack but I also have purses for spexial occassions. 83. Do you wear any hats such as snapbacks or beanies? ---- I wear a bowler hat in fall/winter 84. Have you ever pretended to be completely straight? ---- What is it with that “completely” straight? As if someone can be half straight. Newsflash: Bisexual people aren’t Gay Lite or Straight with a dash of Gay. 85. Would you ever date a trans girl? ---- Yes, of course I would. 86. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed on television? ---- Usually not that accurately. 87. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? ---- Hmmm... usually the women I fall for are closer to my age. Men on the other hand... I like them old! 88. Do you have any celebrity crushes? ---- Yep, lots. 89. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? ---- Potential murderers, just like anyone else in the military. 90. Do you believe in love at first sight? ---- No. But I believe in attraction at first sight. 91. Have you ever been told that you look gay (i.e. like a lesbian)? ---- No. 92. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? ---- In your friend circle. 93. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? ---- Yes. 94. Have you ever had a one night stand? ---- Yes. 95. How often do you wear a bra? ---- Most days but in summer I sometimes go without one depending on my outfit and the temperature. 96. Have you ever been part of a softball team? ---- No. 97. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? ---- Yes. 98. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most? ---- I disagree with all stereotypes because the function that stereotypes are supposed to fulfill is to give people permission to single out a group of people and judge them. Some people fit a stereotype - so what? Doesn’t mean all other people from that group do the same. 99. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? ---- Take your time, be kind to yourself, talk to other queer people. 100. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out?  ---- Put your own safety first. If someone doesn’t accept you then they don’t deserve being a part of your life.

[chill-that-ur-inmyhead]

A is for Appearance What color are your eyes? green! I always used to say blue and green but I have settled on green How about your hair? blonde Cool, describe your hairstyle: I curled it slightly, tried to get my curtain bangs to frame my face but I am so bad at hair! How tall are you? 5′5

B is for the Basics What’s your nickname? H WHATS YO AGE?? feeling 22 Are you a male or a female? female Where do you live? UK

C is for Clothes

How would you describe your style? chic, sporty, casual Do you fit into any stereotypes? I keep falling in and out of stereotypes, such as the gal that likes shopping, horses, surfing, the city life but it is all very nuanced  Where’s your favourite place to shop for clothes? ASOS always and then hopefully when I have money I can shop at more sustainable places that charge £70 for a quality top Tell me your ideal outfit: I LOVE mom jeans, the light blue ones, then paired with a crop tank top and an oversized trench coat

D is for Driving Do you have your license? I am trying!! ask me again this October hopefully I’ll have it!! If not, how about your permit? yes I have my provisional  What kind of car do you drive (or do your parents drive?) ford fiestaaaa What’s your dream car? 1963 Mercury Comet (aka Peyton’s car from One Tree Hill) 

E is for Eating

What’s your favourite food? potato waffles Mkay, and how bout your favourite drink? milkshake Have you ever had an eating disorder? I don’t think so. What’s your favourite form of SUGAR!? :D in chocolate YUM

F is for Family Who do you live with? currently my mum while I am studying but hopefully next year I will be living in the city with flatmates!!! How many siblings do you have? un frere Do you have kids? Names and ages: nope Do you love your family? yes

G is for Guys/Girls What colour hair do you prefer on the gender of your choice? I do not mind How about eye colour? no preference, just that they have kind eyes! How should they dress? personally I would go for someone that dresses up to go out and leaves the joggers/ trackies at home Name a few qualities you look for in a significant other? witty & compassionate

H is for Hobbies What are your favourite things to do? bargain shopping in thrift/charity stores Do you collect anything interesting? DVDs - nope not interesting haha Do you play sports? Which ones? I used to play Netball in uni and really want to get back into it again but first going to try getting back into badminton! Do you text a lot? not a lot but I have been known to text from time to time

I is for Internet Do you have a youtube channel? I have a youtube account but I don’t post anything on their!! Do you have facebook? yes Do you have twitter? yes Do you have instagram? URL: yes

J is for Job Do you have a job? If so, what? I just left my job at a law firm and I am going back to study law What is your dream job? I do not dream of labour ;) Any previous jobs? retail! classic Do you like where you’re headed in life? (Or did I just depress you?) I am optimistic about where I am headed but ofc it is nerve-wrecking

K is for Kind Of.. What’s your favourite kind of movie? rom com ofc What’s your favourite kind of book? Or do you not like reading? fantasy What’s your favourite kind of food? (Mexican, Chinese, Italian, etc.) chinese Cool, and what’s your favourite kind of.. um..place to chill at? my bed, nothing compares 2 u

L is for Love<3 Are you gay, straight, bi, lesbian, asexual, or not sure? heterooo Are you single or taken? single If taken, what’s their name and how long have you been together? :D If single, do you have a crush? I don’t, only on celebs ofc ;)

M is for Music! :D What genre of music is your favourite? Taylor Swift Do you play any instruments or sing? What do you play? I want to get into piano/keyboard (ofc will only play Taylor Swift songs) Have you ever been to a concert? If so, what was your favourite one? Taylor Swift hehe (can you tell I’m a fan?)

N is for Negativity >=l Are you more negative or more positive? I sometimes get in my head but I defo try to be positive around other people, I know how depressing it can be Have you ever been depressed? I have been depressed before but I have not had depression Are you one of those people who cuts yourself and thinks it’s cool? AH no How do you feel about death? I hope it is short & sweet

O is for Opinions What’s your opinion on gay marriage? all for What about abortion? each person’s choice K.. What are your political views? capitalism will always win What’s your religion? Or are you atheist or agnostic? Christian 

P is for People Who’s your best friend? I have a couple of close friends What kind of person do you tend to hang out with? open minded sould that can banter when the time is right What do you do when you hang out with friends? Eat, drink and be merry Do you have lots of friends or do you just hate people? I have enough friends, always open to making new friends

Q is for Questioning!!!!! How are you feeling, dear? full from the dinner I’ve had (Grandad turned 90!!!) Oooh… and how’s the weather where you’re at? sun is setting and making the clouds all glowy and golden (one of the better days for weather we’ve had recently)                                                                                                            Okay and have you been healthy lately? I’ve tried to stay active since leaving work and besides from today which contained a lot of cake, I haven’t been overeating

I see, and do you think these things have a direct correlation? I have to say when the weather is nicer, it is easier to eat healthier

R is for Randomness!!!!! :D What’s your favourite mythical creature!? mermaids I LOVE LAMP!! (Do you know where that’s from?) I do not! What’s your favourite meme!? there are too many to pick RAWRAWRAWR!! (Do you say rawr or do you hate me?) =| I would only say it ironically hah

S is for School Are you in middle school, highschool, college, or out of school? I’m about to go back to uni for a post grad Do/did you actually like school or do you hate it like me? It had its ups and downs, considering I’m going back from a post grad maybe the ups outweighed the downs What is/was your favourite class? P.E. was always fun, espeically if we were playing netball What’s your major in college or what do you want to major in? English literature

T is for Trouble! D= Have you ever broken the law? What did you doo? D= underage drinking ofc Do you drink? yes Do you smoke? nope Have you ever been arrested? Did you go to jail? WHY!?!? D= nope

U is for.. UMBRELLAS!? Hahaha do you like rain? I like the smell of rain but I don’t like to be in it Do you own an umbrella? yes Do you like the song Umbrella by Rihanna? I do Do you like how random life can be? sometimes it throws me and I think can’t you stay on script!

V is for Vacations Where was your favourite vacation? South of France Where have you never been that you really wanna go to? Hawaii Have you been out of the country? Where to? France, Belgium, Italy, Netherlands, Spain & Portugal What’s your favorite type of place to visit? Islands, Cities, Theme Parks? I do like city breaks because there is so much to do! Haven’t truly been on an island holiday but defo looking forward to them!

W is for WTF questions!! Can I shave off all your hair and make a voodoo doll of you? no thank you Excuse me sir, were you aware that there’s a clown behind you!? oh that’s just my reflection dw ;) I murdered a man once!! [Oops this isn’t a question] I know nothing &JK, I didn’t murder anyone. But aren’t you just like WTF now? this is the internet, I am ready for a worse WTF

X is for X stuff…. Do you know anyone named Xavier? not personally Have you ever played a xylophone? yes Have you ever seen an X-rated move? wouldn’t know X MARKS THE SPOT!! kk? :D

Y is for Yes Or No Do you like when it snows? =| yes, I can appreciate a good snow day Do you like re watching old movies? yes Do you watch Vampire Diaries? yes Do you like Indian food? yes

Z is for… ZEBRAS! Do you like zebras? they remind me of horses and I love horses

[deh-genderbent-the-musical]

The World Falls Away (Jenni x Karliah oneshot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14832848/chapters/34329827

((Everyone lives/nobody dies AU, things get better AU, slightly off characterization because it’s a heccin au AU. Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts, anxiety attack (not in detail, just glossed over), depression, cutting, and drugs))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I have an iced tea for… What is this garbage-“ Karliah turned the cup in her hand, looking at the order and squinting. “It’s for an… insanely cool Jennifer Kleinman?”

“Oi, I’m right here!” Jenni replies, pushing herself up to make herself visible to the taller teen barista. Karliah just snorts and rolls her eyes, thrusting the cup to Jenni. “I don’t get why you keep coming back. I’ve seen you three times this week, and it’s Tuesday... The coffee’s not that good here…”

“Yeah, why do you think I get iced tea and lemonade? Later, tall girl!” Jenni says as a farewell, lazily waving over her shoulder as she leaves the coffee shop. Karliah groans and rolls her eyes, going back to preparing orders- but never forgetting about that quirky short girl who came in every day, at least once a day, and always seemed to be a little too happy when Karliah served her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Ev?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“What do you think love feels like?” Jenni looks to her childhood friend, raising an eyebrow. Her glasses were knocked slightly askew from lying in bed with them on, but she didn’t seem to notice.

Evelyn turned pink, stammering inaudibly and trying to answer while avoiding eye contact. “I mean, I-I don’t- I’ve only ever had two crushes? I-Xander-Xander was my most recent one but I-but I guess it’s… It’s kinda fuzzy? Like… Your heart-your heart goes a little-a little faster, and it-I guess it feels like the world… The world’s a little… B-Brighter? And life doesn’t seem so sad and-and the world doesn’t look so corrupt because-because you have someone special with you… Sorry if-I’m sorry if that didn’t make any sense…”

“Nah, it made more sense than anything you’ve said recently… Who was your other crush? You said Xander was your most recent one.”

“Oh-Oh it… It was you, back when-when we were… 7 or 8? You-you were the only person who-who didn’t make fun of my stutter-stuttering or anxiety and you were-you still sorta are- my only real friend…” Evelyn admits quietly, fidgeting. “I-I’ve moved past that, don’t worry-I mean, not that you’d need to worry because we’re friends and sure it’s a little weird for friends to crush on each other but that shouldn’t really matter to us of all people because we’re- well, you’re gay, lesbian, whatever, and I’m bi, so we’re both gay to an extent and-“

Jenni clapped her hand over Evie’s mouth. “I get it. It’s fine.” She says with a small smile. “I… I think I’m in love, then. Or at least, I’m- I like someone. I think. I don’t know her, but she’s… She’s pretty cool. She’s… Pretty, as well. Like, physically. And I- I’ve got a class with her, so I guess I’ve heard and seen her there? But she works at a local little coffee shop and… Yeah it’s-“ Jenni looked down, flustered. Evie was shocked- Jenni was usually so confident, and yet right now, she was almost afraid to continue speaking.

“Jen, listen. If-If there’s anyone I know who can-who can ask out an almost stranger it’s-it’s you. So go! Go get her… Who is she?”

“…”

“Jen?”

“…….”

“Jennif-“

“Karliah Murphy!” Jenni exclaimed, sighing heavily. “Karliah… Karliah Murphy. Xander’s older sister.”

“… So wait, you’re-you’re interested in my boyfriend’s sister?... So-so technically, if both of us married Karliah and Xander… We’d be- hey, we’d be officially related! Sisters in-law, right?” Evie asks, and Jenni raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, but you’re… You’re taking this very well?”

“Well, yeah. Karliah may have anger-anger issues, and sometimes she seems like she’s got de-depression or something, but she seems like a-like a genuinely good person at heart. Like, she- she tries, but she doesn’t know… How? To be a good sister and daughter.”

“What if she’s not gay enough? Like what if she doesn’t like girls?”

“You’ll only know if you-if you try, Jen.” Evie pats her childhood friend’s shoulder comfortingly, flashing an uncertain grin.

“You know what, you’re right! I’m going there right now.”

“Wait, now? It’s-It’s 2AM!”

“So? I doubt Karliah sleeps. Doesn’t seem the type. She’s always got makeup below her eyes, to cover bags. Thanks for the pep talk, Ev! I’ll see you later- I’ll either be a sobbing mess or an elated idiot!” Jenni exclaims, opening Evie’s window and cracking her usual confident grin before jumping out. Evie’s eyes widened, and she gasped as she leaned out the window to ensure her friend had made it. “I’m good!” Jenni calls from the ground, waving in the dark of the night up to the panic-stricken blonde in the window. “Thank God… Now, I guess… I guess it’s-it’s time to go get her!” Evie shouts to Jenni, smiling. God, Jenni could be an idiot- but if there was anyone who could charm an acquaintance and ask them out on a date, it was her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was now 3AM. Jenni had been having a small anxiety attack on a park bench for half an hour, as she actually had no idea where Karliah lived. She didn’t know where the Murphys lived. “Damn it, stupid, idiot, why did you think you could do this-“ She mumbled to herself, wiping the tears and feeling around for her glasses. A husky voice was heard in the distance, which only further aggravated the waves of panic rushing through her body as she fumbled to put back on her glasses and wipe her face. Why did she care? It was probably some homeless dude or some stoner or-

Or Karliah fucking Murphy.

“I dunno man… Whaddaya think? She’s… Cute, yeah, but I doubt… I doubt she’d care. Look. Fuck, look at me! Blood dripping off my goddamn arms, and what, I feel nothing. I’m a god. I feel no pain… What am I talking about? Fuckin- I’m no god, I’m a wreck. I’m a mess. I’m a fucking failure, as my mom continually puts it.” Karliah seemed to be talking to herself as she stumbled into the dimly lit park. The streetlight was obviously faulty, as shown by its constant flickering and overall poor lighting job.

Jenni was frozen.

‘Oh my God. It’s her. She’s here. Why’s she here? Is she drunk? *gasp* is she high? Does she do drugs? … Oh my God… That’s- she cut herself. Fuck. Oh, fuck. She’s fucked up. This wasn’t a good idea. Look at those cuts. Brand-new. Are those… Scars, too? Her eyes are red. Wait. Her eyes. She’s-‘ Jenni was snapped out of her panicked train of thought when Karliah’s face hovered just inches away from her own.

“Kleinman, I said what the fuck are you doing?!” She demands gruffly, furrowing her eyebrows as she scanned the shorter teen’s face and posture. Her sleeves were down, now- she must have pulled them down before she came over. But the blood was soaking through her sweater. It was ripped- her sweater. Jenni found that interesting. Purposely ripped, or ripped through wear? Then she realized she still hadn’t answered the impatient brunette before her. “I-I uh, I came to- to the park? And I-I didn’t- I don’t feel-I had a panic attack? An anxiety attack. I don’t have anxiety. I don’t-I don’t think I do. Evie does. I think I’d know if I did? I-“

“Shut-“ Karliah held her head, letting out a low growl. “Shut up.” She commands, cringing and stumbling backward. Jenni flinches and covers her head instinctively- something Karliah notices. “Hey. Hey, I- Fuck. I’m sorry, okay? Not… I would never… Hurt you. Sorry. I don-I wouldn’t hurt you. I-this isn’t the me you’re used to right? You’re used to ‘friendly neighborhood barista’ Karliah, aren’t you?” Karliah gives an incredulous laugh, shaking her head. “That’s not me. That’s me, desperate for money, to escape my shitty family.”

“But your family… They’re rich… Right?”

“Well yeah, they’re rich and my dad makes it a point to use that money regularly. But that doesn’t mean they’re good people. My dad’s obsessed with reputation, how people view us. My brother hates me. And my mom’s a bitch. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t care about me.” Karliah looks down, picking at her already chipped black nail polish.

“I mean, yeah, that-that sounds terrible… I had no idea-“

“Of course you didn’t. Fuckin’ hell… I hardly even know you, but here we are.” Karliah spits, laughing dryly. Jenni rubs her arm awkwardly, sighing and standing carefully, so as not to bump into Karliah.

“Hey. Thanks for… For talking to me, I guess. I know it’s not the me that you’re used to. But, it… It’s nice, having someone other than Hansen who’s not completely terrified of me or hates me. I mean, you don’t- you don’t hate me, right?”

“No! N-no, of course I don’t. I…” Jenni gives a sigh, looking up to the starry sky and sighing wistfully. “I like you, if anything. You’re… You’re amazing. You’re brave, you can speak your mind, your hair’s gorgeous even though I don’t think you ever brush it, and every time I come in, I notice that you brush your hair away from your eye. That one, specifically. The one with the brown patch in the top left corner.” The shorter teen stands on her tiptoes, tapping below Karliah’s right eye. Karliah’s face was beginning to flush, but it went unnoticed.

“But I guess you don’t care, do you? Karliah Murphy, who threw a printer at the teacher in second grade. Karliah Murphy, who’s a good student when she bothers to go to school- which isn’t often. Karliah Murphy, the enigma that all freshmen have a conspiracy theory about the fact that she’s actually a god.”

“… Karliah Murphy, who just wants a good life with someone other than her family.” Karliah adds after a moment, looking down to Jenni with a slight smile. “You’re alright, Kleinman. As for you liking me- who knows, maybe you’ve got a chance? Maybe I find your little dimples to be the cutest thing. Maybe your pixie cut with the frosted tips is adorable. Maybe I think you’re pretty cool.” She shrugs, but gives a sideways grin.

“You may never know.” She adds, turning and stalking off, whistling to herself.

“Wait!” Jenni calls, looking hopeful. Karliah glances over her shoulder, stopping momentarily. Jenni runs to catch up with her, pulling a sharpie from her bag. “Here.” She says quietly, writing on Karliah’s hand. Karliah reads it, and glistening tears spring to her eyes, unbidden. “… I’ll see you at school, little miss Jennifer Kleinman.” “Likewise, Ms. Karliah Murphy.”

The time was 4:30AM. Karliah sat in her bed, rereading the hastily scribbled note that Jenni had left.

‘You’re beautiful, and you don’t need to hurt yourself. I know what depression can do. But you can stop it.

(562)-873-9045 <- that’s me! Call me when you feel down. I don’t want to see you hurt yourself anymore.

xoxo

Sincerely,

Me’

(Click the link at the top!)

[who-tf-stole-my-car-radio]

(Lovely) Josh Dun x plus sized reader// (REQUESTED)

"Awesome show guys!" you exclaim, high fiving Tyler and Josh as the stepped off the stage. You tossed them both a water bottle and a towel, like you did after every concert. They both smiled brightly at you, breathing heavily , tired from the show. Josh put his arm around you as you all walked backstage. He was shirtless, and his wet skin was warm against your shoulder. Though he had been sweating, he still smelled amazing. He smelled of musk with a hint of vanilla. It drove you crazy.

"Hopefully you got some good pictures" he chimed with a smile, tightening his hold on you. You chuckled and nudged him with your elbow.

"Of course Josh, have you forgotten that I'm an imaculate photographer?" you questioned still smiling. He laughed.

"Of course not" he said before kissing the top of your head. Your heart beat quickly and your cheeks burned red. You looked up at Josh his eyes bright with adrenaline lingering from the show.

"Alright guys, you got ten minutes until the meet and greet, lets make this quick" the tour manager announced, pulling your attention from Josh. Tyler clapped his hands.

"You ready josh?" he asked rubbing josh's shoulders with a boyish smile. Josh smiled at him and wiped the sweat from his face with the towel you gave him.

"Have fun guys!" you called as they headed down the hall.

"Thanks(Y/N)!" Tyler called back. Josh looked at you with a warm smile and waved.

"See you later?" he mouthed. You nodded with a bright smile, this made him smile in return before turning back around and continuing down the hall with Tyler. Josh was such a great guy, he was so nice to you, and you weren't used to cute guys being nice to you. You were a plus sized girl and most of your life you were picked on for it, but Josh always made you feel better when you got insecure about your size. He always told you he liked bigger girls, and said they are nicer and more fun. You weren't 100% sure you agreed with that statement let alone beleived that he meant it , but it was still nice to know he cared enough to try to make you feel better.

"Hey (Y/N), you going to the after party at the hotel?" Ben, the sound guy questioned, as he passed you in the hall.

"The what now?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows. your toughts were still clouded with Josh.

Ben laughed and looked at you with a strange expression.

"The after party" he repeated. "At the hotel, you gunna be there?" he added. You thought for a moment. Partys weren't usually your thing. You didn't like crowds or people or crowds of drunk people.

"Eh I don't know, parties arent exactly my thing and I don't have anything to wear" you answered nervously, you were fiddling with the hem of your shirt. Ben smiled before speaking again.

"Josh is gunna be there" he said with a wink. Your heart beat quickly again.

"Psh- HA why would I care if Josh was going? Its not like I like him or anything HA could you imagine?! " you respond, your voice getting increasingly louder. Ben just looked at you with a smile.

You sighed and your shoulders dropped. "Yeah I'll be there" you murmered quietly with a tone of defeat in your voice. Ben laughed and walked away.

Great. Now what were you going to do? You had nothing cute to wear to this frickin party. You thought for a moment, you did have one outfit that might work. You decided to help the roadies load the bus to pass the time. An hour had passed now and the boys were headed out of the stadium. You rode on the second bus with all the roadies and crew members, the first bus is where the band, ben, mark, the tour manager and the merch guy rode. It was a short 20 minute ride to the hotel, you climbed off the bus and headed to your hotel room.

You opened the door to your room and made a B-line for your suitcase. Digging all the way to the bottom you pull out a tight pink dress that hugged your curves perfectly. This was one of the few outfits that you felt genuinely pretty in. You walked into the bathroom and did your hair and makeup, you sprayed some perfume and put on a pair of white high heels. You looked at yourself in the mirror and something clicked in your mind. You walked back into the bathroom and put on some white earings for a finishing touch. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, you looked nice. It was 15 minutes to the party, it was being held in tyler and Josh's rooms which were jack and jill rooms, connected by a shared door. You headed to their floor, you could hear music playing and people talking loudly already. It sounded like there were quite a few people there already. You walked into the room and there were loads of people in here. It was packed and most everyone was already drunk. Your eyes darted around the room looking for Josh you smiled when you seen him. Was talking with tyler and someone else , he wore a tight black t shirt with a jean jacket and black skinny jeans with converse. He looked so good, like usual. Tyler looked at you and smiled before nudging josh and nodding in your direction. Josh looked up and his eyes immediately went to you. His mouth opened slightly and you could see him take a deep breath. He started moving through the crowd towards you.

"(Y/N).....you look...you look stunning..." he said breathlessly as his eyes fell down your body . you felt your cheeks get warm.

"Thank you " you said with a smile. He kept looking at you in awe. "Do you want a drink?" he asked rubbing the back of his neck. You nodded and he made you a cocktail, you weren't sure what it was but it was good and it was quality time with Josh and you didn't care. You looked around the room and noticed a couple guys staring at you and laughing to each other. Your heart sank.

You looked up and seen one of them walking over.

"Hey Josh" he said holding back a laugh. Josh looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"Hey man" he replied with a nod. The guy looked at you.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch your name" he said with a smile.

"Oh wait let me talk to you in a language you understand....MOOOO!" he exclaimed before him and his friends fell into laughter. Anger grew on josh's face. He immediately grabbed this guy by his neck and slammed him against the closest wall.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO HER?? " he yelled anger seething through his teeth. The guy gasped for air. Josh punched him in the stomach, the guy hunched over grabbing his mid section. Josh grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and brought him back to you.

"Apologize....NOW!" Josh commanded. The guy didn't say anything.

"Apologize to her! Or I will rip your ears off and put em in your back pocket just so you can hear me KICKING YOUR ASS YOU DUMB SHITHEADDED FUCK STAIN!" Josh yelled punching him again. The guy looked up at you. Tears filled your eyes.

"I- I'm sorry..." the guy muttered. Josh grabbed him and threw him on the ground.

"Get the fuck out of here." he said staring daggers at this guy. The guy scrambled off the ground and ran out of the room. Josh's face instantly softened and he walked up to you wiping your tears away with his thumb.

"You wanna get outta here?" he asked with a gentle voice. You nodded, Josh walked to his room and grabbed a hoodie and sweatpants before taking your hand and leading you out of the room.

"I grabbed these for you, if you wanna change and get more comfortable" he offered handing you his clothes. You smiled.

"Thanks! This dress is pretty tight" you answered. Josh bit his lip and scanned your body again.

"That it is " he said with a wink, this made you blush again. He put his hand on the small of your back and you headed to your room.

"I'll just change quick" you said with a smile stepping into the bathroom. Josh nodded and sat on your bed. You took off the dress and let it drop to the floor, you pulled the black Adidas pants over your hips, they fit comfortably and didn't look half bad. You then pulled his turquoise hoodie over your head and instantly the smell of josh's cologne filled your nose. You took a deep breath and hugged yourself embracing the delicious smell.

You stepped out of the bathroom , Josh tilted his head and smiled at you.

"You still look beautiful" he said softly standing to his feet and taking you by the hands. He leaned in and kissed you softly on your lips. The rest of the world faded away. You had wanted this for so long. Josh wrapped you in his strong arms and held you close. He pulled away and rested his forehead on yours before kissing the top of your head.

"I hope what that guy said didn't get to you, you are so beautiful (Y/N)... Your gorgeous eyes, beautiful hair, soft skin, and I love your curves, they just demand attention... And your adorable little smile.." Josh said, he couldn't help but smile at you and you him. He let his hands run up and down your body.

"So beautiful" he chimed again before kissing you softly again.

"Thanks Josh that really means a lot to me, you are so nice and awesome. And honestly I've liked you for a long time now..." you admit shyly. Josh gently touches your chin with his two fingers lifting your face to look at him.

"I've liked you since I first laid eyes on you" he said. He never looked so sexy to you, his eyes were glistening and he had that strong half smile/ smirk on his face which made his jawline even more pronounced.

"Will you be my girlfriend (Y/N)? Nothing would make me happier" he asked holding your hips. You smile widely and nod.

"Of course!" you shout excitedly. Josh laughed and lifted you while he hugged you tightly.

The two of you spent the rest of the night watching cheesy Christmas movies and cuddling under a warm fluffy blanket. Your head rested on his chest as he rubbed your back with his strong and gentle hand. He kisses your head before you drift off to sleep.

A/N: you guyyyyysssss I LOVED this request this was such a cute idea ! I hope you all enjoy it! All of your are beautiful!! Skinny, plus sized, short,tall , white black, gay , straight, bi, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH

[perkahlia]

not quite a poem; the mistakes you make part i

  (when she’s just a friend---and an irritating one---but damn is she pretty) i meet her when i am six, and she is seven our friendship is a tumultuous one, one which often struggles         ---    ( she will have her way, no matter who she                  must step on to get it, and she can’t seem                  to remember whether she plans to never                  speak to me again, or not )    --- but frustration and impatience have never clouded my vision; she is beautiful, her face has always been one i’ve loved to look at it’s a fact, plain and simple     i am not attracted to her       i never have been, i never will be but the way i regard her appearance has always strayed just beyond what ‘friends’         ---    ( or enemies or best friends or enemies or )    --- normally experience   but of course, girls do not look at other girls as something that lies just beyond friendly

  (when she’s bossy and not your type but your gaydar’s on point) she is not beautiful in the way i appreciate her dark hair flows down her back; her figure is nothing short of stunning         ---    ( i have always been jealous of the way our                  ugly uniforms frame and flatter her shape                  where they detract definition from                  everyone else )    --- and it takes nothing more than a shock of red lipstick to turn her into a supermodel but she is harsh where i prefer soft her face wide where i prefer spritely     she is not attractive to me       she never has been, she never will be but i know if i ever, ever want to learn what kissing a girl felt like         ---    ( not that i have ever wondered, of course                  not, of course i wouldn’t, but if i did, it                  would only be natural to be curious,                  wouldn’t it? )    --- she will be the one to let me and i think about it often, more often than i should, so often i wonder if i should feel wrong         ---    ( years later, my best friend tells me; i had                  known right, even then; this irritable, rude,                  domineering friend who i am glad to have                  lost contact with is now identifying as bi,                  and it seems i’d felt it even before she had )    ---   but of course, i am not a girl who would kiss another girl

  (when she genuinely grosses you out with her unsanitary habits but if she had a less gross doppelganger you’d be all over that) she, like my other two closest friends, is one i long to be rid of she may be meek where they are overbearing, but she has always been a little odd a little self important a little hard to be around but she is beautiful; she is tall, with a thin, lean figure, with a strong, elegant face     i am not attracted to her       i never have been, i never will be if only because i know the regrettable person she is a little too well but if someone completely different from her shared her appearance grew her hair out passed my way...         ---    ( i think about kissing that tolerable                  Someone Different in dark corners and                  spaces passionately and often, where no                  one can see )    ---   but of course, i am not a girl who wants to kiss other girls

  (when you’re an idiot and you hate to admit your mom is right) she is a wild ride personified a little crazy, a lot of funny, the kindest and most open soul i’ve ever met she’s younger, but only enough to surprise me and she’s endearingly sweet and loves to weave stories with me she’s perfect, to be honest         ---    ( i don’t like you writing romantic stuff with                  girls, my mom says in her most perturbed                  tone, if you do, i think tumblr will turn you                  gay. and i am enraged, because you                  can’t turn someone gay, writing with                  another girl about a man and woman                  falling in love will not turn me gay. i am                  not, strictly speaking, wrong about this. )    ---     i do not think i like her romantically       that i ever have, ever will but i am wrong, because i think about her always think about what it would be like if she flew across the country to see me if she climbed into my lap grabbed the front of my shirt pulled me closer leaned down and kissed me it consumes my thoughts more often than it doesn’t when she sends selfies, i find myself going back to simply look at them, countless times i begin planning to go to college where she lives, so that i can be near her and i tell myself all the while that she is just a friend   because of course, i know now that girls like other girls, but i also know i am not one of them

  (when you’re an even worse idiot, and the truth is miserably failing to catch your attention) she tells me once that she doesn’t like her face and it’s the worst thing i’ve ever heard i insist otherwise, not because it’s the polite thing to do but because she’s breathtaking and i selfishly need her to understand she says her face is too short---but her face is lovely, perfect it’s soft, her features are petite, and everything fits like it was designed to rest there perfectly her blue eyes are round and beautiful her nose is small and adorable her lips are naturally a perfect shade of pink and her hair always falls just right         ---    ( put simply, i love to look at her )    --- just one year, she holds a sleepover for her birthday party we sit in a circle around a word game we play with her and one of her younger sisters and she sits across from me when the game ends, she leans forward on her hands and knees to pick up the pieces and i can see right down her shirt i try not to look, but i can’t help what i’ve seen already i can’t help that i was glad to see it i can’t help that i keep thinking about it or that i think about what it would be like to stop time later in the night after everyone else has fallen asleep so that no one could bother us if i kissed her, if she kissed me it’s all i can think about for the rest of the night     i do not think i’m in love with her       or that i ever have been, ever will be but i am wrong, plain and simple later, i take her with me, on a family vacation and i don’t understand the importance of it, she and i sharing a bed for ten nights in a row i don’t appreciate it the way i should, having her to myself for so long but i love it nonetheless, love her nonetheless, and it shows; i have never snorted when i laugh but she does it embarrasses her, but it’s endearing, it only makes me smile and after a few hours in the car with her and her laugh for the first time, i discover a snort when i laugh as well and it stays with me for months, the sound of her laughter finding a home in mine i love her, i do and i think i will go to my grave, still half in love with the girl whose face is the best one i can imagine looking at whose laugh is contagious whose kindness will stay with me forever     but of course, while i know girls love other girls, i also know i am not one of them

  (when it pisses you off that someone you hate shouldn’t have been right) she has always been exceptionally pretty, though i’ve never noticed but she arrives, with her hair cut short in a way its never been and styled with a care i’ve never seen and with heels like she’s never worn and with her makeup done so well a professional’s hand could have done the job i don’t even recognize her at first surely i would remember if i had known someone so beautiful, after all she looks so much older, so much more free         ---    ( maybe i fall just a little bit in love with her                  on sight. )    --- i can’t help but say how good she looks, more than once because i’m not blind because it’s truly entrancing because the change is bold enough that any of our friend group would easily admit that there’s something about her right now that catches the eye lesbian, responds another girl, the one who has always hated me as though the word speaks volumes on its own as though she doesn’t even need to form a sentence around it i regard her with disgust and don’t dignify her with a response because there’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian, though i’m quite sure i’m not one and because one doesn’t have to be a lesbian to see that our friend is drop-dead gorgeous         ---    ( i am once again not, strictly speaking,                  wrong about that. )    ---     i do not think i am attracted to her       that i ever have been attracted to a friend, or ever will be but after the unwelcome commentary, i find the thought chasing me for the rest of the night of what it would be like to kiss her   but of course, girls might be attracted to other girls, but i am simply not one of those girls

[reallygroovyninja]

This took me forever to fill out and my answers are boring

Random Questions for LGBT Ladies #LGBTask

Random Questions for LGBT Ladies #LGBTask

Below are some questions pertaining to LGBT+ women, conveniently categorized. Have others send you random numbers (there’s 130 of them), or simply answer them yourself. Please reblog!

 SEXUALITY & COMING OUT:

1. How do you define your sexuality? Lesbian

2. What pronouns do you use to identify yourself? Me, Myself and I – I am not into the whole pronoun thing

3. At what age did you first suspect that you are sexually attracted to other girls? 11 or 12

4. At what age did you come to terms with your sexuality? 17

5. Did you have an “aha I like girls” moment or was it more of a gradual realization? It was a more gradual realization

6. How did your sexuality make you feel before you came out? Confused af

7. How did you become comfortable with your sexuality? Talking to someone who made me realize my feelings were ok to have.

8. At what age did you first come out? 18

9. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it? A friend and she stated ”About damn time”  

10. Do your parents know about your sexuality? My dad had already passed away so I don’t know if he ever suspected. I am betting he did and yes, my mom knows.

11. How out are you? Very. I don’t hide the fact

12. Do you now identify as something different than when you first came out? I do. I kinda waffled with bi for a year or so.

13. Was anyone surprised when you came out or did people seem to already know? I think most people suspected my attraction to females

14. Has coming out lost you any friends? Not that I was aware of. Coming out when I did at 18 and then moving out of state for college I lost contact with people.

15. How soon after meeting someone do you usually tell them about your sexuality? I judge the situation. It does come out eventually but I am not going to advertise it in work situations etc.

16. How difficult do you find it to sympathize with straight women? I have no problem with it

17. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? No

18. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. – Anyone could be a little bit gay in the right situation

19. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time you find yourself attracted to other girls? n/a

20. Do you think it is possible to be a true 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed towards one gender? Most bisexuals I have met have said I am bisexual but lean towards whatever. I guess it’s possible to be attracted to either sex equally

21. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek or staring at a cute girl? When I was single I would do it all the time

22. How accurate is your gaydar? I think when they were passing out gaydar I got in the line for male gaydar. I can pick a gay man out of a crowded room but be totally oblivious to women.

 RELATIONSHIPS & DATING:

23. What is your current relationship status? Married

24. What is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? 8 years and yes

25. Do you remember anything about the first time you kissed another girl? I was nervous and I remember thinking fuck I am actually kissing a girl.

26. Are you a virgin? If not, what gender did you lose your virginity to? Sorry not a gold star lesbian

27. What is your ideal first date? Something simple like a walk in the park just getting to talk with each other

28. What personality trait are you most attracted to? It’s a toss-up between sense of humor and intelligence

29. How flirty are you? Not very flirty at all.

30. Would you ever want to get married, if not already? I am married

31 Do you want have children someday? Yes

32. Would you ever want to give birth? We decided as a couple if we had children I would try to conceive

33. How often are you asked if you have a boyfriend? Not as much now as when I was single

34. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? No

35. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? Unfortunately, yes

36. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? No

37. Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? Yes

38. Have you ever dated a guy? Yes

39. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you? Not that I am aware of and no

40. Has another girl ever hit on you? Yes

41. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? Of course, what lesbian hasn’t

42. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s significantly older than you? Yes, to a college professor

43. Would you ever date a trans woman? Hmm, I guess if I was attracted to them I could give it a shot

44. Have you ever had a profile on a LGBT dating website or app? yes

45. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? I don’t think there is a best place because I know people who have met their s/o in all kinds of different places.

46. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? I am not a hopeless romantic but I can be very romantic when I want to be.

 PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

47. Have you ever cut your hair super short? If not, would you ever want to? No and I think I would look weird with super short hair.

48. Is your nose pierced? No

49. What is your opinion on septum/bull nose piercings? Not my thing but I’m not going to judge you if you do.

50. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where? No

51. How muscular are you? I will go with I am toned but far from muscular

52. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? I was when I was little but grew out of it

53. Have you ever been told that you’re too pretty to be gay? Yes

54. Have you ever been mistaken as a dude? No

 FASHION STYLE:

55. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often? I do but not very often these days. The joys of being a work at home employee

56. Do you wear high heels? If so, how often? I can wear high heels but don’t do it very often

57. How much jewelry do you typically wear? I am not a big jewelry person so necklace, watch and normally my wedding band but it needs to be resized. My fingers are thinner now

58. How much makeup do you typically wear? I’m a minimalist unless the occasion calls for more

59. How often do you wear a bra? Every day

60. How often do you wear flannel? Only in the winter and on occasion.

61. Have you ever worn a suit? Not a men’s suit

62. Do you wear any shoes such as combat boots, Doc Martins or Timberlands? I live in the Northeast so everyone owns Tims for the winter

63. Do you carry a purse? Sometimes

64. Do you wear any hats such as snapbacks or beanies? Not very often but I do own a few

65. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? I love men’s basketball shorts. So damn comfy and perfect for lounging around in  

66. Have you ever dressed in complete drag? No

67. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? Yes

68. If you want to get married, do you think you will wear a dress? I think if we renewed our vows I would

 ENTERTAINMENT:

69. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? I don’t think I have one

70. Have you ever watched The L Word? Some of the seasons

71. Have you ever watched Will & Grace? I have seen a few episodes

72. Have you ever watched RuPaul’s Drag Race? I have but I get annoyed with the bickering

73. How well do you feel LGBT women are portrayed on television? Stop killing off the gays and we would be in better shape

74. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians (i.e. Tegan & Sara, Melissa Etheridge, Chely Wright, Elton John, Sam smith, George Michael, Adam Lambert)? I don’t go out of my way to listen to them

75. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers? Yes

76. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed movie? Not really

77. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed blog or website? I guess After Ellen

78. Do you read any LGBT magazines? No

79. Have you read any LGBT themed literature? If so, do you have any recommendations? I have but nothing I can think of to recommend at the moment

80. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? Considering most lesbian porn is for men to get off on it would seem there isn’t but some does exist.

 THIS OR THAT:

81. Boobs or butts? I do love both but its butts for me

82. Beer or wine? I don’t drink either. I am a hard liquor kind of girl

83. Ellen or Portia? I guess Portia. I am totally not into Ellen at all.

 BEING (SOMEWHAT) RANDOM:

84. How much do you like cats? I own one

85. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? Yes

86. How many LGBT friends do you have? A few

87. Do you have any LGBT relatives? I’m not that close to many of my relatives but I am sure there are a couple in there

88. Have you ever used any words (or variations of) such as lesbian, queer, gay, or homosexual as a password? Thanks for the suggestion I have never used any of those

89. How outdoorsy are you? I don’t consider myself outdoorsy

90. Have you ever driven an SUV, Jeep, or pickup truck? I do own an SUV

91. How many rainbow items do you own? I have a couple gay pride shirts

92. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (Oct. 11)? No

93. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? Never heard of it

94. Have you ever attended a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) type of club? Not even in college

95. Have you ever attended a PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting? No

96. Have you ever attended a gay or lesbian wedding? Yes

97. Have you ever been part of a softball team? In high school I was on the team

98. Do you skateboard or longboard at all? Not in a while. I would probably bust my ass skateboarding

99. Do you play any video games? That is my stress reliever at times

 FROM 1-10, HOW ATTRACTIVE ARE:

100. Muscular women? 4

101. Women who wear glasses? 10 – Glasses are fucking sexy

102. Women who are covered with tattoos? 4

103. Women who are covered with piercings? 1

104. Curvy/plus-sized women? 7 – I don’t mind curves at all

105. Women with short hair? 5

106. Highly intelligent women? 8

107. Tall women (i.e. around 1.83 meters/6 feet or taller)? 5

108. Masculine/butch women? 5

 GETTING SERIOUS:

109. What does equality mean to you? Just like the definition - the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities.

110. Do you consider yourself a feminist? I do

111. Do you eat meat at all? I love a good steak

112. Are you religious at all? I’m not into organized religion but I have my beliefs

113. Did you vote for Hillary Clinton? Yes

114. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? Doesn’t bother me

115. How do you feel when people use the word gay to mean things such as stupid, dumb, boring, or idiotic? I dislike it

116. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, dyke, homo, or tranny? I don’t say them

117. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use? Unisex bathrooms so we can end this debate

118. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? I have no problem with it at all.

119. Have you ever been called a gay slur? Yes

120. Have you ever been queer bashed? No

121. Have you ever been discriminated against because or your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain. No

122. Does it really get better? As I get older I find it does get better.

123. How did you feel on June 26, 2015? My marriage was finally legal

124. How accepting of LGBT people is the city/community you live in? I’ve never encountered an issue

125. Have you ever tried to “pray the gay away”? No

126. How annoyed are you with how heteronormative society is? Doesn’t bother me

127. What LGBT stereotype do you most disagree with?  gay men are feminine and less of a man because they are gay.

128. Is there anything about the LGBT community that you wish you knew before coming out? How judgmental some people are within the LGBT community  

129. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? You don’t have to put a label on your sexuality. Sometimes it just takes time to figure things out.

130. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to come out? Don’t let people pressure you to come out. Do it on your own terms.