#its always the characters with glasses that cover their eyes im telling you

[dovewingkinnie]

character from a game gets a crush on a guy who plays her game from time to time after work

[multi-lefaiye]

!!!!! multi!!! im glad youre back!! ive missed seeing your icon on my dash! ive been working so much on my silly little stories with my silly little guys, idk if ive told you about them but its my time traveling story, im finally beefing my characters and getting to know them better! ive been using a prompt list for june and forcing myself to write something for this story everyday and its been going really well!! (i can tell you more if youd like) i keep making everything really sad and tragic tho..... dunno whats up with that lmao. is there anything youve been working on recently??

RUNS AT YOU hiiiii!! :D yeah yeah!!! i never like. reallly left but i'm not gonna pretend i haven't been a bit MIA lmao......... have not had the energy to engage with people that much lately. BUT today is a new day and i am beating the sleeby boy allegations.

YEAH YOU'VE TOLD ME A LITTLE!!! oh that's so fucking cool OMG i'm so excited you're having so much fun with them and developing them more! i love your little guys okay they mean SO MUCH to me!!! and OHHH YES YES HELLO??? okay, if you don't mind, can you PLEASE send some of that my way??? or if you want please feel free to tag me in it if you post it! because i love your stuff so so much and i want to go off the shits.

and regardless, you're always welcome to come into my inbox and talk to me about what you're working on. at all times. i encourage you to do it!!!!! also that's so real. something about giving fictional people problems........ intoxicating.

but yes yes!!! so like i said i haven't had much energy to work on stuff lately, but i do have some things i've been bouncing around! a big thing is a tftgs fanfic character study i'm tentatively titling "in case you don't live forever," centered around jack and his relationship with his ex-girlfriend sabine.

sabine is such a fascinating character to me for loads of reasons, many of them being the fact that we learn basically nothing about her. she is the epitome of a character who haunts the narrative, at least in my opinion, and this started as like... me exploring what i think she was like. what kind of person she was. it then evolved into an exploration of what might've happened if sabine had *lived* and gotten to be happy.

so it's an au where she and jack run away together and start a new life in a new state. it's super emotional and tender and sweet and writing it is really cathartic and healing for me. i'm also using it as an opportunity to explore concepts that are tried and true multi-lefaiye classics: mental health, trauma, queerness, and how they all blend together at times. most of all, though, it's about healing.

i'm including an excerpt under the cut!

It’s just after two in the morning on a Saturday night in mid-2007, and for the last time, Sabine Lemoyne stands alone in her childhood bedroom.

She’s had this room since she was eight, and the decorations haven’t changed much in the following decade. The walls are the same soft, muted purple she adored growing up, plastered with posters for old movies and bands she hasn’t listened to in years, and it nicely complements the pink shag carpet beneath her feet. Her immaculate bedspread is bright and cheery, covered in colorful illustrations of grinning flowers and vibrant greenery. Her favorite childhood stuffed animal, a little pink cat named Eevie, sits on the desk across from her bed, watching her with vacant glass eyes.

Her room has always brought her some modicum of comfort, a sanctuary of peace and solitude in a tumultuous world, but now, standing in the mausoleum of times long since passed, it feels stifling. She can’t breathe in here.

Sabine has to leave. And that’s exactly what she intends to do.

The duffel bag on her bed has been packed for days now, and she’s only just finished packing the backpack leaning against it. Inside the duffel bag, she’s packed clothes, books, and an extra pair of shoes; the backpack, meanwhile, holds her toiletries, six hundred dollars in cash, and two laminated folders. Inside one folder are two bus tickets, set for departure in one hour.

[musashi]

Helo! Do u have sneeze hcs for the japanifornian population? I’m of the firm belief that gant has never sneezed once in his entire life ✨🍓

absolutely obsessed w the way you phrased this

ok am going to like. attempt to cover most of the og trilogy characters but i am making 80% of this up on the fly because i only ever think about the characters im writing sickfic about and thats like 3 characters ok ok

ace attorney has too many characters so cut

team defense:

phoenix - canonically a loud bitch. does not stop at just 1. WILL shatter your windows. the way he wears a mask and it does nothing because the sheer force of his fuckign bazooka blasts sends it rocketing off his face. i have personal kin memories about this and all you need to know about it is 1. no i did not get jumpscared, shut the fuck up, i am not scared of anything 2. i say bless you with my whip

maya - ALMOST AS LOUD! WHY ARE THEY BOTH LIKE THIS. idr if this is canon but someone said morgan canonically hates loud noises so i subscribe to maya being loud out of spite. she's loud in the sub of the anime but they made her cute and tiny in the dub and i'm never gonna forgive them tbh. also she like never covers her mouth and if she does its with her hands. wright & co plague offices

mia - kinda raspy and rough-sounding. does the hand-wavy thing you know that thing people do?? where they mindlessly wave their hands for no reason before they sneeze. im obsessed with that. why she do that. also i'm stealing this from my mia kinnie friend but mia says bless you to everyone all the time no matter how many times they sneeze she will keep saying it. i don't care if memories disproves this because canon is wrong sometimes.

diego - completely fucking silent. just kinda jerks into his fist. functionally the opposite of mia tbh, but she always notices and he's kind of hopelessly endeared to it.

team bootlicker:

miles - hopelessly loud but as polite about it as he's able to be. this man has a monogrammed handkerchief and horrendous pollen allergies i feel like he has turned sneezing politely into an artform. functionally him and phoenix are at the same decibel level but phoenix is untamed and miles is sparing the ears of everyone around him. and theyre in love

gumshoe - i feel like he half-stifles to the point where you can't even tell if he's sneezed half the time. also literally always sneezes in doubles i will not elaborate. constantly waiting for that third so he can wish for a higher salary but it never comes.

franziska - ALRIGHT OKAY I HAVE OPINIONS OKAY I HAVE THOUGHTS I HAVE FEELINGS I HAVE--okay. okay. just the most delicate sound you will ever hear. small. liddol. the kind of sneeze that makes u wonder why she would bother to sneeze at all. it is so tiny, what good is it even doing. a cool thing to do if you like the taste of leather is point it out.

(also tangentially related but she's violently allergic to dogs and cursed with von karma dog loving gene so she WILL walk into miles' apartment and shove her face directly into pess with no regard for consequences. look i have flowcharts and spreadsheets--)

manfred - literally exactly the same as franziska but it's ten times funnier on him. no i'm not taking constructive criticism.

lana: habitual stifler to varying degrees of success. also she sneezes into the scarf like she'll just pull it up over her face and maybe i'm projecting but thats fine. it's fine. we're fine.

gant: what you said is funnier than anything i can come up with so i am choosing to accept it as fact.

everyone the fuck else:

larry - kitten bitch. constantly going back and forth on if he's a scream sneezer or a kitten. i think kitten is funnier. same general deal as franziska but WAY cutesier.

ema - not particularly loud but they like send her stumbling backwards a little on her feet. more than once her glasses have fallen onto her eyes and she just kinda blinks like o.o ??

i dont have enough thoughts/feelings about any other characters this is all u get gfhfdhj

[antisocialsln]

i feel like im dying. nobody wants me around anymore. everyones making it painfully clear theyre sick of me. im a hypocrite. i get upset that they choose drugs over me and drinking over me when i do the same anyway. im high most of the time i spend awake and if i can drag myself to the fucking store im drinking and ive just stopped addressing it now. the ghosts are out to get me. something followed me home the other day i saw it in the mirror it laughed in my ear. the voices have been back for longer than i dare admit but im so used to them that its somewhat comforting having them back. theyre more protective now theres something here. “cover the mirrors” “keep away from the windows” and such. theres always eyes in the dark. i cant make them go for long. there are shadows that move in every corner and ive gotten used to the bugs crawling all over me again. my family dont care, i tried to talk to them and all i was met with was laughter. something kept banging on the window, loud enough to make me jump so fast i went dizzy. i got my dad to check the garden, nothing there. it happened again. he was still in the kitchen. he didnt hear it. either time. neither did my mom. i saw something outside of the window but they didnt believe me they said it must have been in my headphones but it wasnt i rewound the video. no banging. something threw my cup off of the side. i was nowhere near it, home alone, no breeze, nothing else fell, no pets, nothing but me and something else. it threw my cup on the floor and it broke. i was having a good night. it was my favourite cup, i cant drink the drinks i need to drink every day without it. my routine is ruined. thats hard for me. i know it sounds stupid but i suppose you could say my autism clung onto this cup so i could hydrate. i feel empty now that its destroyed. i texted my dad. i told him i want the ghost stuff to stop. they need to make it stop. i cant handle it anymore. i dont feel safe alone in the house. he didnt take me seriously. he still things its my fault. he yelled in a public area that i have to stop being so clumsy, he tried to tell me i was drunk. “you were drunk. you knocked it off the side. you were pissed. you drank way too much” i know i didnt i didnt have anything to drink and the only pills i took where after the matter to calm down and go for a walk high because thats the only thing i could do i couldnt stay in the house. its all so hazy. it feels weird. i experienced the whole thing in 3rd person. ive been tunnelvisioned for weeks now. the color from everything is dull to me and i dont really enjoy anything anymore unless im playing a character.  i tried to explain to my father that i want to die. i tried to tell him i know i am going to kill myself and he told me to “stop being so fucking dramatic”. every day now he yells at me for not getting out of bed, for being lazy. but im hardly sleeping at night the only rest i get is in the day i cant sleep at night anymore and im hardly sleeping in the day anyway i fall asleep at 8-9am and i wake up every 30-60minutes until i get yelled at around 2pm to get up. im mostly mute now. nobody comes to see me. leaving the house to go anywhere but sit on a park swing alone in the dark at night is terrifying and im supposed to be going to comic con on friday. i cant die no matter how much i try ive definitely hit 10-15 attempts in the past year by now. 2 alone this month and its only november. no matter how many pills i take, no matter if i swallow glass, no matter what medication i mix with alcohol, no matter how much i bleed or dont breathe. i just cant die. im immortal. and its killing me in a completely different way to what i want. and yet i still have this irrational fear of almost dying and needing hospital intervention. not even out of fear of being sectioned. i almost want to now. i almost want them to throw me in a psych ward and leave me there. the fear is if that happens, even if im just in for a night. my parents will never let it go, they will never let me go, itll all get worse. ill get no privacy, they will be on my ass all the time. just because it would make them look bad. im trying to go to uni just so i can show them i can move out so thats easily 4 more years of this fucking bullshit before i get a chance at being free. i really dont know how much more of anything i can take. i dont want to be here. i really, really do not.

[albakore]

Away From Home

Characters: Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Thoma/Tohma (fem!reader) (fic)

Synopsis: (office!au) Even your boss Zhongli has moments where self control goes out the window to make way for carnal desires.

Warnings: not sfw (18+) reverse harem, (an orgie?), semi public sex again, creampie, oral (giving), petnames (angel, princess, gem), squirting, umm? did i miss anything?, not proofread because im lazy if you catch any errors feel free to shoot me an ask,

A/N: This is a part two to Office Adventures but t's not necessary that you read it before this. I don't know if people were expecting a direct continuation of the last one but I took some creative liberty because I felt like that would be boring and instead created a whole new scenario, I hope you all enjoy it just the same!

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘•⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ ⊰ ⋅•⋅

The sexual tension in the office since that (ahem) eventful meeting had been nothing short of palpable, as Lisa had been ever so kind to point out. Even Jean and Eula were starting to grow frustrated with the way Childe and Kaeya made it painstakingly obvious their lust for you, and as you explained to Jean apologetically, they just wouldn't seem to take your request to tone it down seriously. Though you couldn't deny that even you often found your mind wandering as you sat alone in your office, frequently coming to remember the way you wobbled out of the meeting room that day, cunt quivering and leaking cum.

Luck seemed to be on Jean's side however, because this week you found yourself away from the office on an important regional business conference accompanied by none other than the men themselves, leaving her alone in charge of the office for a few days. The adventure of being in a new place was always exciting; there was light in your eyes as your plane touched down just outside the city, the skyline stood shimmering off in the distance. Though, as Diluc so gracefully reminded you, this was not a vacation but a business trip and most of your time would be consumed by meetings and other work-related affairs.

"(Name)!" You heard someone call from behind you. You were walking back to the hotel after another boring day of drifting in and out of meetings with people you hardly knew and topics you hardly cared about.

"Hm?" Your head turned to see three familiar figures waving at you as they approached.

"Care to join us for dinner? It'll be our treat." Childe asked once they had caught up to you, falling into step beside you.

"Where are you guys going?" You asked. You silently took in the appearance of the boys beside you. You hadn't gotten a chance to see them all day since you greeted them at the complimentary hotel breakfast bar this morning, and you had to admit they cleaned up nicely. You admired the three's formal dress, remembering the way Zhongli had specifically lectured them on the importance of appearance at an event like this. You notes Thoma's expensive looking watch and Kaeya's tailored button-up shirt that was, of course, unbuttoned halfway now that the workday was over. Childe had his suit jacket thrown over his shoulder, one hand holding the jacket the other shoved in his pocket.

"Mr. Zhongli found this fancy looking French restaurant a few blocks away, he wanted us to get there before we missed our reservation time." Thoma answered.

"Where is he?" You asked, taking note of his and Diluc's absence from the group.

"He and Diluc got caught up in some last minute business they had to attend to. It's times like these I don't envy the higher up positions of our company's cofounders." Kaeya answered you this time. "No matter how attractive the pay increase may seem, I can only handle so much overtime."

"You can say that again." Childe chuckled in agreeance, "I can't tell you how many times I've left the office only to come back in the morning and find Zhongli still hunched over some paperwork."

"Hey, guys, I think this is the place." Thoma motioned to the building you were approaching, and you immediately realized that 'fancy looking' was an understatement. "Will you be joining us, Lady (Name)?" Thoma questioned, extending his hand as an invitation to you.

"I don't see why not." You flashed him a smile before placing your hand in his, allowing him to tug you along. Kaeya opened the door for you, gesturing to allow you to step inside first. You were awestruck by the inside -- if you thought ‘fancy looking’ was an understatement for the outside, then the inside could be described as nothing short of grandiose. There were round tables covered in white cloth and fancy silverware, a fountain sat in the middle of the room behind the hostess desk and elegant trimmings lining the staircase off on the far side of the room. You quickly quelled your shocked expression as the hostess approached you.

"We have a reservation for six under the name Zhongli." Childe told her. "We'll have two more joining us later."

She checked her ledger and quickly crossed off the name. "Right this way, sir." She said to Childe with a polite smile. She led your group away from the main room, opening the door to a nicely decorated single-table room with a pleasant and romantic vibe, most likely accredited to the soft lighting.

“Thank you.” Childe told her as you four took your seats. One side of the table had booth-style seating and the other side had individual chairs. She closed the door with a click, and before you knew it you were sat in between Kaeya and Childe on the booth side, with Thoma directly across from you. You picked up a menu and began flipping through it to get a feel for what items might interest you. Before long, Childe’s hand had found its way onto your thigh. You looked down at it before looking back at him, a silent prompt for an explanation. “What?” He inquired mischievously, thumb rubbing your skin gently.

You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could your server opened the door with a brief knock. Childe’s hand stayed firmly in place as the server introduced themselves before asking if they could get you guys anything to drink. Thoma and Childe ordered regular fountain drinks, and requested two extra waters be brought out preemptively for Diluc and Zhongli whenever they should arrive.

“Ah yes may I have a glass of your finest red wine.” Kaeya asked with a smile once it came his time to order, earning a look from you. “What? It’s coming out of Diluc’s pocket not mine, might as well make good use of it.”

"And I'll have a..." You started, feeling Childe's hand inch upwards as the servers gaze remained fixed on you. "Just a r-regular glass of water please." You managed to force out while trying to ignore the growing feeling of need that Childe's attention was causing you. You smiled at the server as they stated that they'd be right back with your drinks.

Moments after the server left, Thoma's phone started buzzing. He answered it and paused for a few moments before he stepped away saying something about needing to meet Diluc and Zhongli in the lobby. That left you alone trapped in a booth with two mischievous gazes focused on you. "I must say, (Name)," Childe started, "you look absolutely stunning tonight. You really took Zhongli's 'Dress to Impress' speech to heart it seems." His flirty demeanor was predictable, earning a chuckle and an eye roll from you. His fingers were tracing patterns into the flesh of your inner thigh, head resting in his other hand as he studied you. You felt Kaeya's arm snake around your torso, hand coming to rest on your hip.

"He's right, you should wear this outfit more often." Kaeya whispered into your ear.

“You know, typically you’re supposed to wine and dine me before you-“ A knock resonated from the door, cutting you off and causing Kaeya to pull away from you but neither him nor Childe made any effort to remove their hands from where they were situated. The server entered with the table’s drinks on a tray, dishing them out to their respective spots on the table before asking if anybody was ready to order. Kaeya told them politely that we would wait for the rest of the group to join us first, and with that they turned and exited the room again.

You watched as Kaeya reached for his no doubt expensive wine, taking a sip and letting out a satisfied hum. "This wine is absolutely divine, it's not often I get the chance to indulge in such luxury. Would you like to try some, angel?" Kaeya asked you while his fingertips traced your hips.

"Sure." You hummed back, reaching out to grab the glass but Kaeya stopped your hand. You looked at him quizzically, watching as he dipped two fingers into the glass and let the crimson liquid pool at his fingertips. He brought his fingers to your lips, waiting for you to part them. You did, but only ever so slightly, letting your tongue drag along his slender fingers with a hum of delight as you maintained eye contact with him. Once upon a time you may have been flustered by his actions, but ever since the incident in the meeting room you have become no stranger to these types of occurrences. You pulled away before pressing a kiss to the pads at the tip of his finger.

"Divine indeed, captain." You added teasingly, the nickname a reference to a costume he wore to a halloween party last year that had caught on and stuck around even months after. You watched his unreadable expression closely as you awaited his response. He grabbed your face, tugging you toward him so he could plant a firm kiss on your lips while he caressed your cheek gently. You felt Childe's hand inch upward yet again further and further before finally reaching your clothed sex. Your breath hitched as Kaeya deepened the kiss, Childe rubbing you through thin material at a teasingly slow pace. You shifted your hips, trying to gain more friction from his fingers.

Kaeya pulled back from the kiss to let you catch your breath. "You know, there is one thing that would make this wine taste better." He kissed along your jaw and down your neck, breath fanning your skin as he continued. "If I could pour it over your chest and lick it off of you, slowly, inch by inch while you squirmed under my touch. That would make this experience undeniably perfect." You felt a shiver run down your spine, hand intertwining with his hair. As if working in tandem with Kaeya, Childe took this opportunity to slip his fingers past the barrier of fabric, your slick making his fingers run smoothly over your folds. Your free hand extended over to Childe's lap so you could palm him through his pants, thumb caressing the imprint of his erection. He let a breathy moan right next to your ear, fingers slipping into your heat.

"This is our reserved room, correct?" Zhongli’s voice resonated from just outside the door before the door swung open. He stepped in, followed by Diluc and Thoma. Your eyes met with Zhongli's as you tried futilely to push the lustful duo off of you. You filled with embarrassment when you thought about how sleazy you must look with Kaeya's lips attached to your neck and Childe's fingers squelching in and out of you. "Thoma, switch with (name), please. Evidently these two are incapable of practicing self control."

"W-what?" You protested, stomach sinking at the thought of disappointing your boss.

"Seriously, you two wouldn't know good timing if it hit you in the face. Your hotel rooms are literally a few yards away from each other." Diluc scoffed, tossing his suit coat over the back of his chair before pulling it out and sitting in it.

Childe pulled away from you, frowning at Diluc's words. "If I'm not mistaken, it was you who was moaning her name last night while you were alone in the shower, no?"

"And if I'm not mistaken, I'm still your boss. Watch how you talk to me." Diluc shot back immediately, crossing his arms over his chest. You scooted out of the booth, over Childe's lap, effectively pulling away from the two.

"Sorry.." You fiddled nervously with the hem of your skirt, still trying to recover from the embarrassment.

"You misunderstand me, gem, I'm not upset at you in the slightest." Zhongli smoothed over some of your hair comfortingly. "I specifically had a talk with these two about keeping things professional on this trip. This has nothing to do with you or your actions." You stared at him for a second before nodding. You took your place in between Zhongli and Diluc, directly across from where you had been previously sitting.

"How did your meetings go?" Zhongli asked you, tone much softer than the one he had just taken with Childe and Kaeya.

"They were boring for the most part, I managed to make a few connections though so that's good. What about you?" You responded, tuning out Diluc and Childe's bickering in the background.

"Stressful, I had many presentations to give, and only few bode over well."

"That's just how it goes." Thoma chimed in. "Tomorrow is a new day filled with new opportunity, I'm sure you'll do better."

"Stressful, eh? Fortunately for you, I know of the perfect way to relieve stress." Kaeya, ever the troublemaker, fixed his gaze on you pointedly for a few seconds to allow his point to get across. He just couldn't help himself when the ball was set up fo perfectly for him to spike it. You studied Zhongli's expression, his face remaining stoic as he processed Kaeya's innuendo.

"Unfortunately, the rules I set for you two apply to me as well. It would be wholly unfair to not hold myself to the same standard I hold my staff." Zhongli answered effortlessly. Seems like all these years of press conferences seemed to have really sharped his ability to form charismatic responses. Wait, 'unfortunately'?

"C'mon, Zhongli, (name)'s had eyes for us just as much as we've had eyes for them. You should see the look they get on their face when they're alone in their office." Childe laughed after ending his bickering session with Diluc. Your eyes went wide at that, having whole-heartedly believed you were being careful about when to indulge in your fantasies. "Besides, doesn't fucking them senseless sound like the perfect pick-me-up after a long day of meetings."

Zhongli seemed like he was still struggling to process his comment, resolve chipping with every second. He couldn't deny the nights he spent replaying the image of you bent over that table while he pleasured himself, and tonight was shaping up to be no different -- well, that would have been the case had he not attended this dinner. His eyes shifted over to you, inner turmoil apparent in them. Evidently, your response would be the deciding factor that pushed Zhongli to either side of the fence.

"He's not wrong." You shrugged, offering Zhongli a small smile. It was a simple sentence, only three words and yet… You watched his expression darken in that moment, his half hard erection already apparent in his pants.

"Thoma," you immediately noted the way his voice seemed to have dropped an octave. His gaze never once left yours.

"Yes boss?" Thoma responded almost instantly.

"Lock the door." Zhongli growled. Your heart skipped a beat, you felt heat rush straight to your core. The way Zhongli was looking at you made you feel bare even though not a single article of clothing had been removed from your form, at least not yet.

"The waitress is going to come back to place our order though." Diluc seemed to be the only voice of reason in this scenario. Thoma returned, scooting back into his spot in the booth, forcing Childe to be the one trapped in the middle this time. "That's gonna look awfully suspicious."

"Frankly, I can't seem to bring myself to care about that right now." Zhongli stood from his seat. He turned toward you, motioning for you to stand as well. "We'll tell them I had an important announcement that I didn't want getting interrupted or something." He lifted you at the hips and set you down on the table, placing himself in between your legs and pulling your core to meet his crotch. His lips caught yours, deep and breathtaking, as his hands roamed over your body. He tugged your shirt to untuck it until his fingers came into contact with the hem. He pulled it up, breaking the kiss to allow him to discard your shirt.

You found yourself rocking against him as his lips worked down your neck and chest. A new pair of hands hooked themselves under your bra clasp. You looked back to see Childe's arm extended. He pushed the straps off your arms, allowing the bra to fall away and expose your breasts. The cool air made your nipple perk instantly. You felt Childe's hands tug you down gently, allowing your back to lay against the cool cloth. You looked over to see Diluc's hands full of your table's drinks as he set them off to the side to avoid any accidents. Thoma eagerly took one of your nipples into his mouth while Kaeya's cold hand cupped the other.

Childe scooted the table away from him to provide him with the room to stand up. Your cheeks burned as you found yourself face to face with his still clothed erection. He chuckled at your expression, fingers caressing your cheek. He let his pointer finger trail delicately down your jaw to your chin, and then from your chin down your exposed neck. You shivered slightly at the way it tickled.

You felt someone tug down your skirt and your underwear, cool air rushing over your core. Zhongli had managed to free his member from his pants and was pumping himself outside of your field of vision. His other hand was pressed to your hip. He admired the way your chest heaved. Thoma and Kaeya littered your skin with bite marks and kisses. You watched intently as Childe followed in Zhongli's lead, freeing himself from his pants. Your lips parted slightly in anticipation, breath fanning the tip of Childe's dick with every exhale. Zhongli lined himself up with your entrance, you clenched your fists when you felt his tip push in. He sunk the rest of the way into you, a sigh of relief falling from his lips. He silently thanked Kaeya and Childe for prepping you so well before he had even arrived. Childe repeated this same process with your lips, slowly sinking into your mouth and relishing the feeling of your warm tongue wrapping around him.

The men both started thrusting at the same time but at very different paces. Childe was eager and less restrained, holding you steady while he fucked your face. He was also louder, not seeming to care if the staff or other patrons heard how good you were making him feel. Zhongli on the other hand was slower, drawing all the way out of you before slamming back into you. Though, after a few moments he seemed to compromise with himself and picked up the pace slightly, only drawing partially out of you, but still enough to let you feel his tip hit deep inside of you with each powerful thrust. You felt Diluc's familiar fingers come into contact with your clit, rubbing you in just the right way to make you clench around Zhongli and moan around Childe. Diluc left kisses all over your lower half, his long hair spilling over his shoulder and tickling your stomach.

The lewd sounds of slapping and kissing and sucking were all that could be heard in the room, along with Childe’s occasional unrestrained noises of pleasure. He moaned your name, head thrown back and mouth agape. His cheeks were flushed bright pink, and they only seemed to glow brighter the closer he got to cumming. Childe's pace became sloppy and erratic as he drew near to his own orgasm, thrusts becoming shallow as he chased euphoria. He pulled out right as he hit his high point so he could paint your chest with his cum. He moaned your name particularly loudly as he did, using his own hand to slowly lower himself down from his peak.

Kaeya pulled back and marveled at the marks he left on your skin, the imprints of his teeth visible in several spots. "My turn already?" He hummed, fingers tracing over the splotches and bruises on your skin. "A shame, I wasn't finished with my work of art yet." He stood up nonetheless as Childe fell back on the seat behind him, still trying to catch his breath. Kaeya quickly took his place, much to Thoma's disappointment. Kaeya's signature smirk hadn't left his face once while he admired the way your breasts glistened with a mixture of sweat and cum. He slowly undid the button to his pants, pushing them partially down his legs before moving to his underwear. You swear his cock bounced when it sprang free, tip flushed and absolutely beautiful. It seems this man truly didn't have an ugly bone in his body.

You felt Zhongli slowly coming undone inside you too, his cock twitching more and more every time he pushed himself into your smooth walls, even more so whenever Diluc's added stimulation made you clench around him. You felt yourself rock against his fingers, your own climax on the horizon. Zhongli gave one final thrust into you before you felt him spill his hot seed into you, his fingers digging into your hips in an attempt to ground himself. You moaned at the feeling of your walls being coated white. Kaeya took this as an opportunity to muffle you with his cock. He stuffed your mouth full of him, watching in a sort of satisfied sadistic fashion as you choked slightly on his length.

Zhongli pulled out of you after he finished cumming, panting heavily. You whined around Kaeya's cock at the loss of contact, hole clenching desperately around nothing. You squirmed your hips and mewled, hoping someone would get your wordless plea for some form of stimulation. Diluc, ever so observant, was the first one to pick up on your discomfort. "Aw, does my little princess want to be filled up again?" He asked tauntingly. "Do you want my cock inside of you?" His fingers continued to push you toward your orgasm. He chuckled at the way you jerked your hips into his touch, whines becoming louder still even with your mouth full of Kaeya's erection. As he felt your body start to tense, he withdrew his hand from your clit before you could cum. You pressed your thighs together while a groan left your lips, feeling frustrated tears well up in your eyes.

Diluc switched spots with Zhongli and unzipped his pants loud enough to get the anticipation in your stomach building rapidly. You heard fabric bunching and shuffling, and in turn took advantage of the adrenaline rush you were getting to eagerly please Kaeya. You hollowed your cheeks and allowed your tongue to work over him, lewd sucking noises escaping your lips. Kaeya groaned in response, his grip on your head tightening still as he bucked his hips into you frantically. You felt Zhongli's rough hands run over the skin of your breasts, centering on the nipples. You felt him wipe some of Childe's cum off you, and moments later the feeling of his fingers got replaced with his tongue as he sucked slightly on the soft flesh.

You sucked in a sharp breath when you felt Diluc's tip at your entrance, face contorting as you prepared for him to stretch you out just like Zhongli had. You paused as he pushed in -- not all the way, just an inch or so -- to truly revel in the feeling the he was providing you. He sunk in a little bit more to let you get used to the feeling of him in your tight sex, he was a little more girthy than Zhongli. Finally, he pushed into you until he bottomed out, filling your cunt to the brim with his member. A quiet groan escaping his lips; you would give anything to see the blissful look on his face right now.

You squirmed as he started to move. He went slowly at first, letting himself become coated in your slick to make his job easier. He took a few moments to find a good rhythm, one that was much different from Zhongli's. He was steady and consistent, pulling out an inch or two only to push back into you. He lifted one of your legs to give him a better angle, you let out a muffled moan as his tip kissed your sweet spot. Kaeya groaned again at the vibration of your voice. You felt Kaeya’s thumb press slightly against the center of your throat where he could feel himself thrusting in and out of you. You swallowed around him as he gave his last few thrusts before he was sent over the edge, cumming in spurts over your tongue. He let out a long moan that you wanted to keep on repeat forever.

You caught sight of Thoma eagerly awaiting his chance to feel your mouth around him. Kaeya pulled out slowly, stepping to the side (albeit a little bit grudgingly) to let Thoma have his turn. Thoma has already freed himself, precum leaking from the tip. He seemed a little nervous as he found himself finally aligned with your awaiting mouth. “Are you sure this is alright?” He asked, closely watching your face for signs of discomfort. His gentleness was refreshing after the way Kaeya and Childe so unceremoniously face-fucked you.

You giggled, kissing his tip causing his ears to flush red. “Mhm, of course. You’re so good for me~” His eyes went wide at your praise. You let your mouth hang open as an invitation for him to enter you, a high pitched whine escaping him almost immediately after sinking into you. He cupped your head gently, pulling out of you slowly before pushing back into you, truly appreciating the stimulation you were giving him.

Kaeya truly could never sit still with an opportunity so grand in front of him. His fingers found their way to toy with your clit, his cold fingers making you squirm under his touch. Childe, who was still on the couch, had gotten hard again and was pumping himself as he watch you slowly get your holes stuff full of cum. You moaned as Diluc’s dick hit your sweet spot again and again, Kaeya’s cold fingers causing your head to spin. You could feel your orgasm coming fast, and it felt like it was going to be an intense one. You arched your back off the table, whines becoming increasingly more frequent the more pressure built up. Diluc also seemed to be nearing his release, you could always tell by the way he moaned your name. A few more thrusts into you was all it took for you to come undone. You cried out, thighs quivering as you squirted all over Kaeya’s fingers and Diluc’s cock alike. Diluc followed a few seconds after, burying himself inside of you as he came hard, eyes intently watching the sight of you during and after your orgasm.

Thoma’s cock twitched as he watched you make a mess over Diluc’s cock, his breathy moans of your name getting louder and louder. He knew it wouldn’t take long for him to finish, not with the way your tongue traced his veins and your hand assisting him with whatever he couldn’t fit in your mouth. You felt the knot come undone and Thoma’s sweet cum flooded your mouth. He pulled out, gently wiping the spit from your face.

The room was filled with nothing but the sound of heavy breathing as everyone came down from their highs. Zhongli was even nice enough to grab your water from where Diluc had set them off to the side and offer you some as he dabbed away some of your sweat with a napkin. Diluc finally pulled his now softened member out of you, admiring the way your cum-filled hole leaked. He had to fight the urge to fuck every last drop back into you.

A knock resonated from the door, causing everyone in the room to freeze. “Um, sorry to interrupt,” the servers voice sounded meekly from outside the door, “you guys reservation time is up…” You cringed at the idea of having to walk back to your hotel room in this state, legs still wobbly and cum all over you.

“I supposed to ‘important announcement’ excuse won’t work now..” If you didn’t know any better, you’d say Zhongli sounded amused. “No need to fret, I’ll just pay them a generous tip to overlook this little.. endeavor.”

“You mean I’ll pay the tip.” Diluc cut in flatly. You all were lucky the company had the money to be avoiding scandals like this or else you’d all be done for. Maybe he could convince you to, uh, thank him for it later…

[shivada-jade]

soulmates!

soulmate!au because im weak. you're weak too.

characters: bennett, zhongli, diluc ➡ mentions: barbara, lisa, guizhong, hu tao, kaeya, crepus warning(s): bennett luck (he gets hurt a lot), wrote this at 2:48am so my writing may or may not make sense

bennett: feels the same emotions from the other, but the emotions have to be strong and genuine

he never understood your sudden bursts of sadness. it would come at the most inconvenient at times.

for as long as he could remember, the emotions that weren't his are mostly sad. he asked his dads about it and gently told him his soulmate system is feeling emotions from the other.

after crying from an unknown pain, he made it his soul purpose to constantly be happy all the time, no matter how unlucky he could be so you can be happy too.

his dads worry when he falls down and scrapes his knee, but he would always reply with, "i'm not hurt! my soulmate is hurt!"

he would then clutch the fabric on his chest tightly, like he's been stabbed with a sword and say, "my soulmate hurts right here."

he heaves a breath, "it doesn't compare to whatever luck i get."

"this pain is bearable," he convinces himself when he comes out a hilichurl camp in cuts and bruises.

"your soulmate needs you to be happy for them," he chastises himself for shedding a tear when another adventurer wronged him.

he visits barbara to heal his wounds and asks how she always looks so... happy, so smiley.

"all it takes is one smile to make yourself happy. it can be a slow process but it works!" she singsongs, "miss lisa showed me a study about it."

ever since barbara explained, he smiles the brightest of smiles in mondstadt. he refuses to let other adventurers let him down, worried he might hurt you more than it is.

soon, he finds out that he feels no sadness coming from you. he feels no weight on his shoulders. he feels happy after Good hunter ran out of food for him.

these are not my emotions, he thinks, a wide grin creeping it's way to his face.

he lets out the loudest laugh, giggles, and various joyous noises. he's never felt so happy in his life. for once, he feels lucky, because for once, you're finally happy in the other end of his invisible red string of fate.

his luck skyrockets when he sees a person around his age, with a gorgeous smile adorning their features. he knows its you, sitting by the fountain making wishes. he knows it's you when he sees your eyes that hold so much emotion.

it was as if his heart was tugging him to where you sat.

he's never felt so lucky to have you as his soulmate.

"thank you giving the best smiles"

zhongli: every time he passes his soulmate, he hears the sounds of bells ringing

now, zhongli never thought he would have a soulmate because of his past title of 'archon.' soulmate systems are a tricky thing. he knows there are so many ways to know your soulmate system.

the common system was their first words tattooed on themselves. many others had the ability to know when they meet them, in other words, a count down.

but zhongli never had those two, nor did he have faith in the soulmate system until the lantern rite festival.

walking by the busy streets, he muses to himself how pretty liyue is under the blanket of the moon and stars. he hears the merchants call to customers, attracting and waving at them to buy their products. he hears the clink of the mora in their bag is loud; the laughter from the children young and old marry a soft smile to his face.

he freezes, hearing something that should not belong in the lantern rite. the sound of bells ringing. it isn't any cow bell, or school bell. it's the sound of echoing, melodious wedding bells ringing his ear.

he vaguely remembers his friend guizhong mentioning about this rare particular soulmate system when she still roamed teyvat.

a soulmate!

zhongli stands straighter, eyes grazing on the sea of people, trying to see if anyone stopped to hear the bells he heard. he mutters a few apologies when people bump into him with lanterns in their hands, but that doesn't matter to him.

fate brought someone for him to love. it's just that... he doesn't know where.

he walks forward, he walks backwards to where he came from. he walks to the docks then to the top of liyue harbour, but he can't hear the sound of the bells again.

he doesn't panic. he doesn't rush, because he knows fate will bring you back together. he just doesn't know how long until he'll hear the bells again.

it came to him a surprise when he hears the bells everyday after that.

everyday when he sits at third-round knockout he hears the sound of bells behind him, but when he turns, he knows you've left already.

he sighs, blowing on his tea before taking light sips. it seems he won't be meeting you today.

one day, the ringing just stops. there's no sign of you, or your presence. zhongli assumes you're just taking a sick day, or you've decided to rest, but after a week of not hearing the bells, he worries.

archons, how he wanted to look for you, but he doesn't even know who you are. hu tao encourages zhongli to take the day off and look for you, so he did.

walking aimlessly in liyue, doubt crosses his mind. what if you were here for a business trip and left? it wasnt until he passes by a stunning figure he hears the bells again. he stiffens and turns to you when you stopped next to him.

"thank goodness," he says, slightly covering his smile with a gloved hand.

your eyes sparkle as you look at him, "thank goodness indeed."

diluc: lost possesions will come to your soulmate

for as long diluc knows, strange things always end up in his possessions: hairclips, pens, coins, and archons forbid- his soulmate's overdue bills.

his father laughs when younger diluc comes home dragging a wagon and the biggest teddy bear in history, because how on teyvat does someone lose a teddy bear taller than a door. crepus watches his son struggling to drag the big toy home and sees his other son pushing the wagon from behind, also struggling.

"what do you have there?"

all the response he gets are grunts. the side of his eyes crinkle with mirth, seeing his two sons having trouble bringing it home.

"father!" diluc calls out with a grin missing two of his front teeth, "i don't know where it came from. it's like it appeared from the sky."

"it actually did fall out of the sky!" kaeya says, "we were at the vineyard and i saw diluc get crushed!"

"i did not get crushed."

"did too," kaeya retaliates, sticking his tongue out.

that was the first time diluc heard of this certain soulmate system. lost things from his soulmate go to his possession; lost things from diluc go to his soulmate's possession.

crepus glances at his boys and gets an idea. he calls for them to follow him, and they do, obediently. he leads them to his room, pulling out a treasure chest full of frilly clothes, dresses, outfits that range from a farmer's outfit to a noblewoman.

"this chest is where your mother kept her favourite things," crepus pulls out a necklace from the bottom of the case. "this necklace was particularly her favourite."

diluc can see why. he's mesmerized by the ruby sparkle it hangs. the gold chain complimenting the red jewel and making it complete.

crepus clutches the necklace, looking at it longingly before placing it back in the chest. he places out all the old clothes from the container and lays it on his bed.

"you can keep your soulmate's things here like i once did. your pops is getting too old anyway, i-"

kaeya interrupts crepus jumps on the clothes that are on the bed, creating a havoc in the room. he jumps on the bed with so much energy even after diluc tells him about the story of the 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed.

though, crepus is having none of that. he picks up diluc by his small arms and flings him to kaeya, looking like a bowling ball knocking down a pin. the two boys gasp for air, shooting dirty looks at their father before they chase him out of the house.

the corner of diluc's mouth twitch up ever so slightly, remembering when he first knew of his soulmate. it would take a very observant person to notice his smile. he polishes the glass behind angel's share's counter. under the filtered sunlight, the glass glints. satisfied with the cleanliness.

the chest his father game him was fill of trinkets his soulmate had lost over the years, and good grief. his soulmate must be the most disorganized person ever. he remembers walking to dawn winery and a sack of mora drop on his feet. it wasn't a pleasant feeling, but the thing that has diluc worried is how his soulmate tends to lose the biggest things like a 7-foot-tall teddy bear.

diluc is about to place the wine glass on a cupboard until SMACK.

a thick paper hits his face from seemingly nowhere and so he knows that is his soulmate losing the tenth thing for the day. he has a room dedicated for the things his soulmate has lost, and he thinks he might need a second room.

he pulls the paper off his face and his eyes widen in shock. this two-inch thick paper are legal documents. loan agreements. overdue loan agreements.

[Name] [Last Name]

he notes the name in his head. [Name] owes the fatui 35 thousand mora as interest. what kind of reckless person- then it hits his mind. that sack of mora that fell from the sky was that 35 thousand to pay off the loans.

he knows where to go. he leaves the wineglass on the counter for charles to pick up and hastily grabs his coat and leaves the door.

"liyue, liyue, liyue, and the fatui." he chants in his head. loans. he greets his maid before ascending to his room. he snatches the mora that dropped on his feet and sprints out the door to retrieve his stallion.

a few hours at most to make it to where his fated partner was at, and so he sets off.

arriving at liyue is strange, seeing diluc's attire did not match the city, and seeing his hands are holding the reins of his horse tightly. a strange traveler from a foreign land... with a majestic stallion. he looks like a prince straight out of a fairytale.

he lightly pats his horse, urging to go a bit faster from the trotting they were doing until he meets the gaze of a distressed person in front of the fatui.

"i swear! i had the money and the papers just today!"

diluc scoffs, knowing who they were now, and they did not have the money today. they lost it a week ago.

"listen," the masked fatui grumbles. "im just here to do my job. if i don't have the money in my hands right now i'll-"

diluc jumps off the saddle and unloads the sack of mora from the side, dropping it on the fatui's hand with a seething glare, yet still polite.

"i believe they owe you 35 thousand? sounds about right, no?" he says, letting his diplomatic side show a bit. "for the sake of it, why not amuse me and take this, david. hmm?"

the fatui goes rigid, hearing his name. he slowly lifts his eyes up, "master diluc." he curtly nods and skittishly walks away. one time david spilled drinks at a mondstadt political gathering. he spilled it on diluc.

the ragnvindr waits for the fatui to walk away before turning to his, supposedly love of his life.

"you're the one who lost a 7-foot-tall teddy bear when i was six," he points out, waiting for your response.

his soulmate sheepishly smiles, "well- i would have a good defense but hey, did you at least enjoy having a 7-feet-tall teddy bear fall on you?"

"i did, along with a glass mug falling on me as well."

"i just cant believe how you never lose your stuff!" they retort, "the only thing i got was a missing tooth from you."

the tip of diluc's ears turn the same colour as his hair, but still wears a stoic expression. "i'm diluc ragnvindr," he greets, slightly bowing his head.

"and i'm yours"

part 2: with ganyu, kaeya and thoma

[simpsiren]

The love potion;

lee jeno x reader

inspired by: Call me— Rainlord, Keshi

description. I got to find out one day that a group of students from my college owned a café nearby campus. And it just so happened that Jaehyun and I were able to get a special invite to be the first few to come before they officially open. One boy caught my eye, Lee Jeno. He only ever grasped my attention. But how was I able to be completely deep in love with him after just a few visits? And that is when the name of this story comes into play.

genre. fluff, angst, love potion type of thing

word count. 24.6k~

warnings. cursing i guess and dreamies almost being sent to jail and VERY brief mention of rape im sorry cnwsdnif

a/n. this is part of the playlist series! click here to check out ffs written by the other authors part of the playlist series <3

“You really think I got time for that?” I said yet again. “It won’t be long! You don’t seem to have a lot of workload today!” Jaehyun protested for the millionth time. It felt like we have been exchanging the same sentences for a whole hour now. I didn’t know why Jaehyun wanted to go to this new café so much. All I knew was the fact that it was owned by a group of students from our college. I would have barely knew them. Better yet, complete strangers. But I guess Jaehyun had a connection, seeing as how he’s been pestering me about this for a week now.

“What are they to you that you’re so desperate to visit?” I questioned, taking a bite of my sandwich as I looked away from Jaehyun to see the clear bright sky painted with blue and white. “Firstly, I know all of them since I did take care of them during their freshmen year.” When Jaehyun explained his first point, I instantly remembered the time I was in freshmen year. And Jaehyun indeed took a few students under his wing for a few months. And though I was assigned to another senior, Jaehyun was always around to check up on me. That’s what got me to be his friend today. “And secondly, they gave me a special invite for me to head there before they officially open.”

I quirked an eyebrow in a questioning manner. “So we get free food and drinks?” Jaehyun’s frown turned into a wide smirk almost instantly. He knew me. “Of course we do.” Jaehyun said with a sly tone. I was already settled on accepting his offer right then and there. I mean, who wouldn’t accept free food? Jaehyun knew I was the type to take up any offer than was free of charge, no money required. He knew I was a cheapskate. “You’re tempted now, aren’t you?” Jaehyun whispered, bringing his face close to mine to examine my every feature. The wary look in my eyes, the smile that unconsciously formed on my lips, the slight blush at the thought of free food.

“I hate you.” I finished my last bite of sandwich and stood up from the bench, grabbing my bag and slinging it onto one shoulder and stomping away in exasperation. “See you tomorrow!” Jaehyun shouted, a loud chuckle following after with it slowly drowned out to nothing as I made my way back to my dorms. When I got back, I threw my bag onto my study table and plopped onto my bed. For some reason, today felt exhausting. And I didn’t know what made it like that. I guess I could blame my lecturer, his monotonous voice was sending the class to sleep. But I was then reminded of the other reason when my stomach grumbled. I glanced down to my stomach and placed a hand there, feeling it tighten as its need for food and replenishment grew.

I groaned as I pushed myself out of bed and went for the kitchen. I frowned deeply at the remembrance that I had no food in my kitchen. I wasn’t big of a cook, and I was honestly too lazy to even do so. There weren’t any snacks I could eat for the time being either. “Am I this broke?” I asked myself, leaning against the kitchen counter and resting my chin on the palm of my hand. I took out my phone and placed it on the table. It was then that I remembered about Jaehyun’s request to the café. “When even is it?” I whispered, eyebrows knitting together as I went ahead to text Jaehyun for the details. He replied me in a matter of seconds, saying that it’s tomorrow but we were able to go whenever we liked for this whole week.

I pressed the call button on Jaehyun’s contact, his voice going into a monotonous “What?” the moment he picked up. “You’re free right now, right?” I asked. Jaehyun hummed. “Meet me at the main building in an hour.” Before Jaehyun could even give a response, I ended the call, knowing he would be there waiting for me regardless. I absentmindedly had a smile on my face with the thought of outdoor food. But my expression went to a quizzical one when I went to the college’s Twitter to see if there were any updates on this café situation. “Seven students from different departments... opening a café in a month’s time.” The tweet gave basic details, but they didn’t even state who exactly were the seven.

Either way, I skipped my way to my room. I didn’t know what kind of food or drinks they’d sell. But at this point, all I really cared about was the food to satisfy my desperate stomach. And hey, if it tastes good, I guess there wouldn’t be any harm to get myself out of the drowning piles of assignments to enjoy an hour or so outdoors. A new scenery to admire. That I hoped wouldn’t be a wasted of time. I got there just slightly over an hour, seeing as how my shower time increased when I had to wash and dry my hair from sweating all day in the burning heat.

Jaehyun was there and he already began walking when I have yet to even reach. I took bigger steps and eventually had to run a little to catch up to his fast pace. “Can you slow down?” I breathed, panting ever so slightly as I continued to match Jaehyun’s long strides down the pathway out of campus. “Well they just texted me saying to hurry because they miss me.” Jaehyun said, a soft smile appearing on his lips and he glanced down to check his phone. I bobbed my shoulders and nodded my head in understanding. “I never knew you were so close to them. You never told me.” Jaehyun reciprocated my shrug, a blasé, god-could-care sort of way. “We just seemingly grew closer I guess.” He answered noncommittally.

Jaehyun simply continued walking when we were out of campus, and I simply followed. And to my surprise, the café wasn’t far at all. In fact, it took us merely ten minutes to reach. However, the place was seemingly hidden. It was in a line of other shops that made the café look invisible. You had to go through two shops and take a staircase up to the second floor. Anyone would have passed it if they didn’t see the café’s sign right beside the staircase. The logo looked simple— the words Café 7 Dream written in caps in a circle, with an animated character in between. The colours were vibrant yet it would be shadowed by the other shops.

I followed Jaehyun up the short flight of stairs. Once he was at the top, he turned to the right and pushed open a glass door. I followed suit. I couldn’t help but have my eyes wide opened when I entered. I initially wanted to refrain myself from looking too surprised, but you could say mine was covered when Jaehyun gasped loudly and had his jaw drop to the floor, his mouth hanging open. I only had Jaehyun’s attention when he shouted, “Yo this looks awesome!” I turned my head from the wall length window that gave the perfect view of the beautiful neighbourhood. In truth, I was glad to go to a college with this much beauty surrounding it. I wasn’t met with old rotting buildings and the sights of your average neighbourhood. Mine was, you could say upgraded. Urbanised. Everything was polished and new. And the huge window second floor café gave just the view to oversee it all. It was certainly a breath of fresh air.

As for the aesthetics of the café, it was simply all white. Not a lot to offer, but I liked the simplicity. The tables and stools were lower than what I’d expected. But there were proper tables and chairs right at the corner of the café, with the counter and workspace just a few feet beside it. It was Jaehyun’s voice that had my attention on him for a split second before I immediately adverted my gaze to the seven men lined up behind the counter. I widened my eyes further to the point where I was afraid that they could fall out of my eye sockets.

They were gorgeous, beautiful. I have seen them before. Only in freshmen year. It looked like they were now in their glow up game. Their hairs were dyed in a wide variety of colours, but it somehow looks unified. It captured all the sunlight that came through the window, as if wanting to keep it for themselves and have it shine its light only on them. I could tell all their features from where I was standing, which was quite far since I was standing by the window. Their features were prominent and their faces were perfectly structured. I seriously wondered why I’ve never noticed them till now. Part of reason could have been that I’ve never seen them since freshmen year when they’ve never caught my eye. But the other reason could have been that I’ve never heard any rumours about them anywhere.

Usually people would talk about such things, boys. But I guess I was never around to hear them, or they never spread to begin with. Maybe they had their identities hidden for some reason. Because I was really questioning why I’ve never seen such beauty and good looking people all in one room for so long. It must have slipped my mind that I had my head turned to them when one of them shouted, “Hey there!” I blinked my eyes and shook my head quickly to clear slate of their attractiveness. My mouth remained agape still as I lifted up a hand and waved back at the light brown haired guy who had a cute baby face, still good looking.

I quickly rushed to stand beside Jaehyun, forcing myself to smile as if I had not been staring at them for a whole minute. “Hey.” I waved back. Jaehyun took a step forward and faced me, a hand gesturing out to the guy standing at the end of the line. “So this is Renjun, Mark, Haechan, Jisung, Chenle, Jeno, and Jaemin.” In their single file, I trailed my eyes along each of them, our eyes meeting very briefly and I felt my breath catching in my throat for a second each time as I wished to look at them longer but refrained myself from doing so. I forced out a short laugh and brought a hand up to rub the back of my neck, which was now sweaty against my palm. Was I this nervous to see men? I guess I was. I never seen them in way too long of a time. Jaehyun was the only ever man I admired for his looks and brains.

They all smiled and I felt like wanting to swoon and have Jaehyun catch me right then and there. Unfortunately, that could only stay in my imagination. I kept my posture straight, nothing more than a kind smile and attentive eyes on them. Jaehyun now looked at me after introducing all seven of them. “Let’s sit down.” Jaehyun glanced back at them and grinned widely, with them reciprocating it immediately with a downshift of their heads while a few bowed and went back to do their separate duties. We decided to sit at the corner where the tables and chairs were. I rushed for my seat and sat down, eagerly waiting for Jaehyun do to the same. And the moment he did so, I leaned in with shoulders up high and eyes full of intent. “You never told me all your juniors are attractive.” I whispered in an angry tone.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to any of them?” My emphasis on the word or the whole question itself had Jaehyun raising both his eyebrows and scoffing with much amusement. “Who was it that said they wouldn’t want a lover to distract her from doing college and concentrate fully on herself for individual growth?” Jaehyun taunted, batting his eyelids at me as I vividly remembered myself making that promise at the very start and was able to uphold it. Well, until now. “Get one of them to marry me.” I fired back, smacking Jaehyun’s arm so hard that it made him wince. But I knew he was exaggerating it only the tiniest bit. I couldn’t help myself from stealing glances at them every second.

Jaehyun jerked his elbow against mine to get hmy attention, which he only received after a long moment. “Seriously?” Jaehyun muttered. I grinned till my eyes formed a thin line and I nodded. “Seriously.” The two of us instantly grew quiet when one of them, which I could remembered to be Haechan came to us through the swinging door of the workplace with a what I assumed to be a menu in hand. “Glad to be at you service. I’m Haechan, and here’s the menu.” He placed a big card on the table and slide it to the center. Jaehyun had his eyes on Haechan the whole time till he travelled down and made eye contact with the paper on a small clipboard in his hand. “Do we fill that up?” He asked.

Haechan furiously shook his head. “Oh no don’t worry I’ll have it filled up for you guys.” Haechan looked to each of us and gave a smile. His extremely amicable tone and expression could already make me tell that he was a bright person indeed. Like sunshine. “I’ll have a Fullsun Ade. And a random mini cake.” Haechan was quick to take it down and adverted his attention to me, which made my heart skip a beat. “Um I guess I’ll take the Jeno Latte and random cookie sand?” My voice accidentally let it out as a question but Haechan simply took it down and nodded his head with affirmation. “Alright please wait awhile and we’ll have it ready.”

“You don’t have to be this formal with me, Haechan.” Jaehyun pointed just when Haechan spun around. He turned back and blinked his eyes twice. “But I’m putting on a good impression for our actual first customer.” Haehan jerked his head in my direction and my eyes widened just a fraction as he flashed me a smile yet again. He hummed and downshifted his head before sliding himself out and heading back to the workplace and telling the rest to get to work. I pursed my lips and raised both my eyebrows as I watched his back, my eyes travelling from one guy to the other. “God stop you look weird.” Jaehyun said with an annoyed tone, a feign exasperated huff leaving his lips. I giggled and placed my pointer finger to my lips. “Sh.” I whispered ever so softly and gave a playful wink to which Jaehyun responded with a grimace and looked out to the scenery.

Meanwhile, I had my eyes on them. Each of them were doing their jobs, but at the same time being playful like kids. Never ending silent giggles and bickering could be heard the whole time. My attention would go off them briefly to take a glance at the window’s view, and then I was back to admire a different kind. However, one stood out to me. The one in the deepest end of the workplace. Basically the corner. If I remembered correctly, he’s Jeno. He seemed to be the only one that was concentrated on making the drink, his drink. He occasionally responded to the chaos of his friends, but he was mostly focused with the help of the guy Jaemin beside him and having small talks.

His bright blonde hair really stood out to me. And his side profile was nevertheless breathtaking. Don’t get me wrong, all of them were good looking and any girl would have their breath taken away if any of them were even miles away. But something about him... hit different. His hands worked gracefully and he seemed to have a delicate touch. He kept smiling to himself, which I found to be adorable. He was probably reacting when overhearing his friends but didn’t want to take his attention fully off the task at hand. For some reason, he was the one that stood out to me the most. “Jaehyun’s order is here!” Haechan shouted, waving an arm up in the air with no specific direction as to who he was waving at.

“Oi Canada deliver it.” Haechan jerked his head to the counter where it had Jaehyun’s drink. But I saw that the mini cake was still on the cake stand. Mark frowned and turned to him. “I’m not even done with the cake!” Mark retorted, proceeding to quickly add final touches of sweets and other small goods as decoration before sliding it off the cake stand and making its way into a plate that Renjun prepared. Mark hustled out of the workplace and held the plate on one hand and drink on the other. In all honesty, the distance between the workplace and the table were so short, I could take a few steps and take it myself. But I guess they wanted to provide their hest service possible, so I decided to stay put.

Mark had dark blue hair, which suited him really well. His face was immensely stunning and had the face of a foreigner. He did come from Canada after all, I assumed. “Thank for coming again, Jaehyun. We really appreciate it.” Jaehyun pulled the plate and drink that Mark placed down, glancing at it before looking up to Mark with happy eyes and a bright smile. “Of course.” He simply said and Mark left us to be while they made my order. Out of habit, I pulled the drink in front of me, begging to examine it. It looked very cute. It had a sticker of a sun which I guess was Haechan’s character. The drink was a beautiful gradient of yellow to semi translucent and it had leaves and a slide of lemon. What I found most appealing was the finishing touch of a heart shaped pink straw.

Jaehyun didn’t mind me taking his drink. It had been something I’ve always done, taking his food whenever mine has yet to come. He grew to get used to it, so he didn’t even bother. I took a sip and hummed in delight the moment the liquid hit my tongue and my tastebuds were satisfied with a wave of deliciousness. It was refreshing as the drink went down my throat. My couldn’t help but have my eyes widen ever so slightly. “Holy shit.” I muttered, leaning in to take another sip. Just while I had my eyes closed and humming again dreamily, Jaehyun slides the drinks out of my reach and instantly dipped down to have his taste. Jaehyun nodded in approval within seconds. “This is actually good.” I chuckled and nodded my head as well in agreement.

My attention then turned to the cake. With eyes that could replicate the ones with big stars in anime shows, I brought close to me and giggled at the decoration on top of the cake. It looked good, but it seemed like a five year old was the one that decorated it. I could tell Mark was trying to make it ass appealing as possible, but the few slips of mistake made me smile to myself just a little at his clumsiness. I grabbed a fork and dig in, the pitch of my hum going high as I chewed as let myself sink into the taste like a bath. Jaehyun snatched the fork out of my hand and took a bite for himself. He did a one on one replication of my reaction. “It’s been so long since I’ve tasted something this good.”

“Tell me about it.” I moaned out after finishing my bite and swallowing it down. I smacked my lips and turned my attention to the guys. My eyes absentmindedly made its way to Jeno, again silently preparing the Jeno Latte while admiring the noises from his friends. I licked my lips, turning to Jaehyun’s drink to steal another sip. I only ordered latte for the sole purpose of hoping it’ll help me stay up late tonight to study. The random cookies was just something I picked out for the fun of it. The wait wasn’t long at all and now Jisung was the one that came to serve me my food. “Thanks.” I muttered, flashing a kind smile. His giggled softly and shyly went away. He really seemed like the kid and youngest among all of them, seeing how he keeps getting targetted by the rest but is showered with love the next moment.

The Jeno Latte and cookies I got was just as appetising as the food that Jaehyun got so I went in for a taste instantly. I wasn’t surprise to find out that it tasted good as well. Jaehyun and I ate silently for awhile, talking about how college is going. I never understood how Jaehyun could be so smart and yet be able to have tons of fun off campus. I thought being a law major would take up hours of your free time. “Time management.” Jaehyun always reminded me. But that was something I just could never grasp. I’d either get too lazy, or be too uptight that I solely focus on my studies that I lose track of everything else in the world. I’m currently in the phase of the latter, until now.

Jaehyun was talking to me when my eyes slowly trailed off his attention and to the guys, who seemed to be sitting on the tables and stools not far away from where we were. I guess it was their break time. They were talking loudly and laughter spread its noise around the café in no time. A soft smile left my lips as I somehow felt that they liven up the atmosphere so much. Even if it wasn’t for me. It’s nice to hear it. I was left with finishing my drink, and with every sip I’d think about how Jeno made it. I shocked myself whenever Jeno popped into my mind. What was it about him that had my mind so wrapped up about?

“Earth to _____? You there?” I came zinging back to reality when I heard Jaehyun talking. “Huh?” I asked, shaking my head to shake the thoughts away. “You know... I could help you ask them for their numbers.” I widened my eyes and shook my head even more furiously than before. “What? No, it’s fine.” I leaned forward and rest my chin on the palm of my hand, my head slowly turning back to the direction of the guys. They were in their own little world, a carefree atmosphere that give zero notice for the world. I smiled softly again.

“Seems like suddenly I have a much better view in this neighbourhood that I thought was getting boring.”

—I wanna see her again. Maybe I'll just be a friend. Or a lover to lean on.

Jeno couldn’t help but finally try to breathe normally the moment she and Jaehyun left the café. It’s as if her presence held his breath for the longest time. But for some reason, he wasn’t suffering for one second the whole way. “Jeno, are you okay?” Haechan’s words suddenly rang through his ears and he shot his head to him. It was then that he realised he was probably showing too much, to the point where it seemed like he was panting. “I’m fine.”

Renjun chuckled beside him, resting his arm on his shoulder and leaning in close to Jeno’s face. He grimaced at the sight and back his body away a few inches. “The fuck is wrong with you?” Jeno asked as the wide smirk on Renjun’s face creepily appeared. “It’s so obvious you were shaken up by that girl. You know she’s been staring at us. I think specifically you.” As much as Jeno wanted to deny it, it was indeed true. From the moment she stepped in, Jeno already had his eyes on her. And he could tell she felt them drilling into her back, seeing how she was staring at him as well. Jeno frowned a little. “Maybe not.” He thought. She seemed to be head over heels for all seven of them.

Jeno liked the way she smiled. The way she loved looking at the view the café had through the window. The way she took time to register their names and faces while Jaehyun introduced them. She stared at all of us, examining their features and what made them unique. He liked how she carelessly took Jaehyun’s food the moment it arrived first, as if she didn’t care about how Jaehyun react. She was extremely pretty too. Jeno was instantly drawn into her looks and it seemed like all the light from the world had dimmed itself down just to give focus onto her, and her only. You could say Jeno experienced love at first sight.

“I swear I could see him trying not to look at her every second.” Jisung added on, only making Jeno roll his eyes. “So?” Jeno lashed out, twirling his body around on the stool to stand up and fold his arms, walking where? He himself didn’t know, so he simply stood there awkwardly and turned around to face them. “So you should talk to her the next time she comes.” Jaemin, Jeno’s closest friend among all of them lets out, crossing one leg over the other with relaxation. Jeno huffed silently and glanced down to his feet, slowly shaking his head. “I don’t want to.” He said. “Don’t tell me it’s because of what happened last year, Jeno...” Mark looked up to Jeno with worried eyes. Of course it’s because of that.

It’s been long since Jeno fell in love. He never had his eyes on anyone after that one incident of the girl he liked for so long turning against him and pouring him with humiliation for a whole year during high school. That incident left a permanent scar on Jeno’s heart, one that he knew he could never mend. Everything was still vividly etched into his memory. And no matter how deep Jeno buried them, some nights it’ll resurface, and send him down the rabbit hole of the darkest period of his life. But that was when he met his friends. This group of friends. And as if fate had fallen on him, they all went to the same college. His happiness and light was solely on them, and he’d give his all for the six. And it’s because of his love for their friendship that he was able to forget about wanting a significant other, he felt that he didn’t need one.

Until he saw her.

“If she comes back.” Jeno emphasised the first one with quick speed and exaggeration. He could only hope that fate would shine some light on him again. Jeno smacked his lips and looked up from the floor, forcing a tapped-up smile as if the thought of not being able to see her again filled up in his chest but he needed to press it down. “Oh come on, she will. Didn’t you see how she kept staring at us? She’ll come just to look at our faces.” Renjun commented. “I wish it was just me.” Jeno replied in his mind mentally, but all he was able to let out was, “Sure, I guess.” With a careless shrug. “Hm but why haven’t we seen on campus before?” Jisung asked in a hushed tone, his hand scratching his head unconsciously.

Jisung was right though. Jeno had never seen her. Indeed there were a lot students on campus. But he felt that he was familiar with almost everyone that walked down the hallways. Stranger, acquaintances, classmates. He’d at least recognise their faces. But why hasn’t she come to mind at all? It’s as if she was invisible his entire college life, and she caught Jeno’s attention only now. “Different majors. Different lecture times. Isn’t it obvious?” Renjun replied. The room fell silent, allowing Jeno to sink deeper into his thoughts. He repeated what Renjun said in his head. It could’ve been true. But most students would hang out on campus before or after lectures for hours on end, simply lounging around and doing nothing but just having their presence there. Was she the type to go straight back to the dorms after lecture?

More thinking resulted in more questions about her. Questions that Jeno wished he’d know the answers to. But then again, he couldn’t expect to know much. It was the first time they met, the first time they laid their eyes on each other. Nothing was certain, and everything felt unknown. One thing’s for sure. Jeno certainly want to see her again soon.

—I'm catching the pieces again. Of a heart that would like to pretend. That it isn't bleeding.

I just came out of lecture. My feet was dragging against the rough stone floor with my back hunched over and my face bored. I was barely able to get any sleep last night, doing draft after draft after draft for my architecture assignment. Although I liked being in the major, sometimes I do contemplate my decisions. Today was no different. My eyes were half open and my mind was solely focus on going back to the dorms, to my bed, wanting to wraps myself up in my fluffy blanket and sleep for ten hours straight.

“Hey, _____?” I heard a voice. It took awhile for my brain to register it, with me groaning softly and humming in question. I lifted my head up to force it to sit right in my neck. I adjusted my vision. And I almost stumbled back. “Taeyong?” This can’t be happening. I’m not dreaming. Lee Taeyong, my ex boyfriend. “Get away from me.” My instincts were at its peak. I was too tired, and I knew my feelings of suppressed anger would begin bubbling up the more I stayed in his presence. I distanced myself away from him slowly and quickly walked forward. I knew him too well. He already had his fingers wrapped around my thin wrist. “I just want a moment.” I heaved a soft sight and forced myself to turn. I was expressionless. I didn’t care about anything he would say next.

“I just... um well...” I could tell he was trying to form up a sentence, but the constant stuttering made it difficult for me to make sense of anything. I huffed and shook my head. Suddenly I was getting a headache and I felt like dropping on the floor to sleep right then and there. “If you don’t have anything to say-” “I miss you, okay? That’s what I wanted to say.” My breathing hitched in my chest. His words longed itself into me, making me freeze in my spot. No, this can’t be happening now. Not right now, when I’m in this state, when my mind is too vulnerable and my whole being was not in its right place. “Taeyong...” I whispered, my voice giving him the reaction to soften his grip on my wrist.

“You know I can’t do this. We can’t do this. And I seriously don’t have the time anymore.” I quickly slid my wrist out of Taeyong’s reach when given the chance. Taeyong’s hand reached out just a fraction, but he pulled it back and rubbed his palm awkwardly on his jeans, glancing away before shakily meeting my eyes. “Why? I’m sorry. You can tell I mean it, right?” I hated how his voice sound so sweet, so sincere. When none of these feelings were even true in the first place. I loved Taeyong, I really did. But he was nothing like how he’s being now. Arrogant, careless, cold. Since when was he this... vulnerable? “No. I’m tired. I can’t do this right now, Taeyong.”

Anger was starting to bubble up in me just as I expected. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration, adjusting my bag that was slung on one shoulder and making an attempt to straighten my body. “Don’t come back to me. Just don’t.” I walked past Taeyong. And luckily, he didn’t try to chase after me. I glanced back for a brief moment, and all I saw was him standing there, motionless like all of life has been sucked out of him. “As you should.” I muttered. He’s getting what he deserved. I won’t put up with him any longer. While I walked down the hall, my body grew more heavy than it was before. The headache was getting unbearable and now I was staring to feel the need to eat.

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. One place popped up. The café. I quicken my pace to get there as fast as possible. And by the time I reached the staircase, it was already evening. I climbed up the stairs which little to no energy, my bag bringing the weight of my body down so much I felt like collapsing. I finally made it to the door, pushing it open. My head was hung low, and I made my way to the first seat I saw. I pressed my hands to my head as I leaned into the table to try and suppress my headache. But it was only getting worse with each dreadful second passing by. “Hey, are you okay?” I groaned and lifted my head up with all energy I had, meeting my eyes with the one and only Jeno.

“No I’m not. I feel like dying.” My voice began breaking and I shocked myself with just how weak I was. Did college really made me this bad? Made me stoop this low? “Oh um- hold on. I’ll get you some water.” Jeno went away and I could hear his feet shuffling quickly, coming back with a glass full of water and placing it on the table, my eyes following as he slide it in front of me. “There. Please drink. You look terrible.” Jeno commented, proceeding to take a seat next to me with his hands on his knees and leaning in to examine my current state. I scoffed softly, bringing the cup to my lips and downing half of it and slammed it back down on the table, which surprisingly made Jeno flinch beside me.

“I’d rather get drunk or die.” I mumbled under my breath, but if was loud enough for him to hear. “It’s kind of early to get drunk.” Jeno replied softly, as if not knowing whether my statement was expecting a reply or not. I furrowed my eyebrows and lifted my eyes off the cup of water, seeing how the whole café was coloured in a hue of orange. I turned to the window, my eyes meeting with the sunset sky that was painted with various colours and shades of orange to yellow with spots of pink and red. “Wow.” I let out, the silence of the café got my voice to echo through. Jeno hummed in reply and I turned my attention onto him.

I took time to look at Jeno. His blonde hair was just a tad bit messy. Being up close made me realise that he was ten times more good looking than when I last saw him. His skin was as clear as day with features so perfect you’d hardly find anyone that looked even close to him. His lips where a soft shade of pink and smooth. He was wearing a white shirt underneath the dark blue apron just like last time. But it was only now that I could see the muscles of his arms peeking through his sleeves ever so slightly. “We picked this place specifically just to get that view.” Jeno said, his voice just a whisper as he leaned in closer. Not too close till it was uncomfortable, but I could certainly feel my face about to heat up. “Thoughtful indeed. That’s nice.” I breathed out.

“What are you doing here, if I may ask?” Jeno tilted his head as he asked, and I placed the cup down after finishing the last sip of water. “I just... need something to eat. My body hates me right now and so does my mind if I keep thinking about-” I thought for a second before resuming, not wanting to mention Taeyong’s name out loud or I’d go on a mad rampage. “Well... yeah.” I awkwardly ended. There was no reaction in Jeno’s expression for a moment. But a soft smile began to crack on his lips, which I couldn’t lie, sent butterflies fluttering down in my stomach. “So of all places where you could have a proper meal, you chose here.” Jeno nodded his head like his assumption was correct. And indeed it was. I had to see a prettier and kinder face than Taeyong’s right now. And Jeno was definitely serving it.

“Question though...” I began. Jeno raised his eyebrows in response. “Where’s the rest of your friends?” It’s as if the question lodged right into him because he sat there frozen for a long while, simply staring into my eyes and only blinking twice. I began to wonder that went through his mind that my question had such an impact on him. “They went out to see some baseball game. Which isn’t really my thing.” Jeno exhaled sharply as he rose up from the stool, making his way to the workplace. “Then what is your thing?” I asked, raising my voice slightly higher for him to hear. Jeno turned around, already standing behind the counter. He cupped his hands on the edge and leaned in, his shoulders raising up a little.

“Ice hockey. The guys and I would play on very special occasions.” Jeno clicked his tongue, wanting to move but stopped mid motion to turn back to me. “What can I get you, by the way? I forgot to ask for your order.” I sucked in my lips and sighed, shaking my head and shrugging. “Anything that’ll make me feel better than I do now?” I wasn’t even sure what I wanted. I’d kill to eat anything right now. Jeno chuckled, his low voice shocking me as to how attractive it was. “Coming right up.” He simply said, his attention going off of me and getting to work.

Again I had my eyes on him the whole time, my mind was still fixated on what got me to be drawn into him this much, as if nothing could break my eyes off him. I sighed and let my head drop on the table, wrapping my arms below to serve as a pillow while I shut my eyes to allow them to rest. My headache got a little better, and my thoughts on Taeyong were slowly drifting away as it made space for me to think of Jeno. I might not know him well, but something in me wanted to know him more. His quiet and minimalist aura gave off a mysterious hue, felt as if he’d be hiding something when there actually isn’t. A simple man, is what I got describe him based on my first impressions.

A knock on the table was suddenly heard, but my senses were not shocked by it and I slowly fluttered my eyes open and lifted my head up, my eyes meeting Jeno’s. “Hope this will do.” He whispered, like his voice could disrupt me from my current state of peace. I gulped and sat my straight, stretching my back and cracking my neck. My eyes trailed from his face and to the food that he proceeded to place in front of me. “I honestly didn’t know what you’d like so I got what you ordered last time. I just gave more cookies.” Jeno shrugged, but something underlying in his voice told me there was more thought being put into it than it should be. I couldn’t help but smile, seeing a whole lot more cookies on the plate than before, and the Jeno Latte seemed as appealing. “Thanks.”

I picked the latte off the table and took a sip, relaxation and calmness hitting me the moment the liquid went down my throat. I licked my bottom lip and looked down at the cookies. Placing the cup down, I grabbed a cookie and held it out to him. “Take one.” I said. Jeno stared at me, and I felt like it went on for the longest time. His eyes constantly flickered from me to the cookie, and when I wasn’t getting an answer, I shoved it closer to him, jerking my head. This time, he made no hesitation to reach for the cookie and shove it whole into his mouth. I giggle at the sudden reaction, watching his cheeks puff up like a squirrel’s.

Jeno smiled sheepishly as he ate silently and so did I, switching from the cookies to the drink. The silence wasn’t at all jarring or awkward, rather peaceful and nice. The silence I shared with Jeno was something I have not experienced in a long time. It wasn’t lonely. That was something both of us must’ve felt. “When are you guys officially opening?” I asked as the sudden question popped up in my head. Jeno hummed, glancing up thoughtfully before looking at me. “If I’m being honest, I don’t have an answer. The guys and I are taking it slow. And we only just had one round of stock coming in to try out the menu.” Jeno grew silent for a moment, his eyes narrowed to the table for a second. “Perhaps a month?” Jeno raised his shoulders with question. I nodded, accepting any answer just to hear him talk.

“So I can come here for a month?” I questioned again. This time my question got him to raise an eyebrow just a fraction. “You aren’t coming after we open?” Jeno threw a question back at me and I breathed out a short laugh, smacking my lips. “From the looks of it, you would be getting a ton of customers. I hate places that are crowded and suffocating.” Jeno folded his arms on the table and leaned in, so much so that his elbow was touching mine. “What makes you think we’ll have a lot of customers?” I scoffed, the side of my lips lifting up a little from doing so. I glanced a way for a moment. “A bunch of handsome guys running a café. Who wouldn’t come?” I tilted my head, raising both eyebrows.

“You’re basing the popularity of our café on our looks and not our abilities in making drinks and snacks? I’m hurt indeed.” Jeno nodded his head in feigned affirmation, making me gasp out a laugh and shaking my head vigorously. “No! No! I mean... well.” I bobbed my shoulders. “That’s exactly what you’re implying.” Jeno doted and I rolled my eyes, chuckling. “You can’t deny that. I bet you know it yourself.” Jeno moved his lips to one side, again he was nodding and this time he had his eyes on the window. The sun had already fully set and just welcomed the ink black dark sky. “I’m on the humble side of my group of friends. But sure, I’ll believe you.” The fact that he could be in denial of his looks made something stir in my stomach. “What’s your major?” I wondered if that was too quick of a topic change, because I saw Jeno leaning back ever so slightly from the sudden question.

“English major. Why’d you ask?” My mouth formed the shape of an ‘O’. But that was all my face did. Instead I had an expressionless look, boring my eyes into Jeno. “What?” “You talk like an English major.” I said, picking up the last piece of cookie and plopping it into my mouth, downing it with the last sip of latte. “And it’s no wonder I’ve never seen you before.” My voice grew softer with each word, my eyes traling along his face, unintentionally going to his lips. I looked back up instantly, locking my gaze onto him. Jeno was frozen in his spot, seemed like he didn’t know what to do, or say. But after a long pause, he finally let’s out, “Your classes are at night.” I hummed in reply. “And I usually don’t have time to venture around campus like Jaehyun.” The two of us let out faint chuckles. Till my phone rang.

The two of us turned our heads to where my phone was placed, just at the edge of the table. Taeyong’s name was shown on screen, clear and intimidating. “What the fuck?” I got scared to the point I couldn’t pick up my phone. I didn’t lean in to check if my eyes were working right, instead I leaned back. I took in a breath and swallowed the mix of feelings that began bubbling in my throat. “You good? Hey...” Jeno reached his body out to me, his hand placed on my elbow, concerned eyes searching mine. “I-I can’t pick that up.” I shook my head furiously, the vivid memories coming back then and there. My nerves were shocked with a wave of intimidation. My eyes blinked rapidly and even my body was shaking. I felt like collapsing.

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” Jeno held me with both his hands on my arms, in an attempt to get me to face him. I looked at his face, then stared at his eyes, but the ringing of the phone kept going into my brain. “Sh.” I was breathing heavily but I slowly got lost in Jeno’s soft eyes, and I slowed my pacing. Jeno lets go of one arm and picked up my phone, his eyes still on me. “I’ll answer.” He whispered, like he was careful and gentle with his words, wary of how I’d react. But I nodded. Jeno pressed the answer button, jerking his head to adjust his hair and placing the phone to his hear. “Hey, sorry but may I know why you’re calling?”

I couldn’t make out what Taeyong was saying over the phone, it was faint and indistinguishable. “She’s with me. And she didn’t look good the moment she saw your name on her phone.” Jeno raised an eyebrow, eyes breaking away from mine for a brief moment to the phone but quickly placed it back to his ear. “I don’t think you’ll be hearing from her any longer. Have a nice day.” Jeno ran flicked some strands off his forehead and held the phone in front of him with mo hesitation to end the call. He placed my phone hard on the table, screen faced down. I was scared that the protection screen would have cracked from the impact.

“It’s okay. You’re okay now. Calm down, please.” Please. Why was he saying please? It’s not his fault I was reacting like this. He placed his hand back on my arm and it felt like his fingertips sent an electric shock through my veins and to my whole body. It was quick and light, I flinched from his touch. He must’ve gotten the wrong impression, because he was searching my eyes again, wondering if what he did just now was wrong in any way. I wish I could talk, tell him that I was okay. But I was still in a phase of trauma and pain. I shut my eyes and placed a hand to my forehead, wincing. “You need to do back. I’ll send you home.” “No.” Jeno was about to stand up but I quickly grasped his arm, his eyes trailed to it before looking at me. “What?”

I sighed. “You’re friends should be coming back and expecting you here.” I voice was weak. Jeno dipped down till his eyes level with mine. With a seemingly calm raspy tone he muttered, “How does that matter when you’re in this state?” I had no answer. I mean of course I did, but I wasn’t able to say any of them. U was still at a loss of words. My mind was messed up with so many thing, so many thoughts. My negative feelings were put onto overdrive in that short span of time and I was still feeling burnt out. Jeno lets out a sound and pulled me up to my feet. “Let me get you back to your dorms.” I shook my head vigorously.

“No. I’ll go myself.” Why was I acting like this? Why was I acting so... defensive? Perhaps it was due to the embarrassment of having a mere stranger see me in this state, in a state even I was not able to fully overcome. Or maybe it was due to how Jeno would think of me after watching me go through that. Being crazed over a phone call. I didn’t know what to think. But in the end, all I wanted to do was to shut myself from the world. Wanting to block everyone. “Stop it. You aren’t okay. I’ll take you back. Like it or not.” Jeno’s stand got me frightened by a mere bit. His tone was sharp and it sounded almost like an order, the way the words rolled off his tongue quick and firm. I yield immediately with reluctance. “Fine.”

Jeno had his grip on my arm, immediately taking my bag and slinging it on his other shoulder while we walked out. At this point, the night has already settled in, and the cold air gave my skin a light pinch. It was cold, but bearable. We were silent yet again. I wasn’t sure if it was due to us not having anything to talk about, or maybe Jeno didn’t want to bother or worsen my state any further by making a conversation. I would be thankful if he actually meant it like that. Nothing seemed to ring my ears other than the leaves that rustled underneath our feet with each step and the breeze floating by. The pathway back to the dorms was lit with an orange hue from the street lamps paving the way. I had my eyes closed for half the time. It’s as if I didn’t need to walk with them open, because I felt the want to trust Jeno.

It wasn’t long before we finally made it to my dorm’s room. “Are you okay from here? Need me to help you get settled?” I was surprised at how kind he was being. I didn’t expect anyone of our level of relationship to be this helpful, but I guess he was just that type of person. And I genuinely adored it. “I’m not a baby.” I said, a soft smile forming on my lips. “Go on. Thanks for shutting Taeyong away from me.” I continued. I reached into my bag that was still on his shoulder for my keys. I unlocked the door and gestured him to pass me my bag. “Delete his number. You still have him in your contacts.” Jeno advised. I took one last look at him before nodding and said, “Goodnight.” I shut the door.

The door closed, and Jeno still stood there. He wanted to go in. He wanted to hang out with her just a bit longer. What he encountered about her at the café was weird indeed. But he saw it as a need to help her. Something about that Taeyong guy made her past so bad to the point where she reacted that badly. It made her look... vulnerable. Jeno felt the need to protect her in that very moment. Yet, she was defensive when Jeno wanted to help. She wanted to stand her ground with independence, no matter what shame she felt from showing that side of her. Jeno was quickly spiralling down the rabbit hole of love. Was it admiration? Simple affection? Or was he genuinely liking this girl? He didn’t know the answer, but she certainly had him feeling things he had longed forgotten.

Jeno took his time to walk back to the café. He assumed his friends would be there already. But no one seemed to be ringing his phone so he guessed not. He wanted to prolong the time he was alone, with him trying to define what exactly he felt for her. But disappointment fell on him when he already reached the café. And all he could think about was her beautiful face. “Where the hell were you?” Renjun called out from the tables the moment Jeno placed his foot into the café. “I went for a walk.” Jeno lied. He had to. If he didn’t, he’d be bombarded with questions by all of them and he wasn’t sure if he could handle that right now. “That’s a shame. The games was so fun!” Jisung exclaimed. It’s as if Jeno could see the games flashing through Jisung’s eyes as he dreamily stared into space.

“I want to play ice hockey.” Jeno said with a frown. They have yet to play this year. And with the making of the café, that time seemed to be long in coming. “We’ll play soon, Jeno. Chill.” Chenle replied. They brought home takeout and Jeno did not hesitate to drop himself in the empty seat between Mark and Jaemin to have himself a bite of a half eaten burger. “You guys seemed to have fun.” Jeno commented, his eyes trailing to each and every one of them at the table as they all nodded and hummed. “Obviously! The team I bet on won!” Haechan threw his hands in the air and laughed triumphantly. Haechan gave a high five to Jaemin and Chenle as the two of them laughed along.

“That wasn’t fair!” Jisung huffed out. The rest were silently wallowing in the disappointment. “Free ice cream tomorrow.” Chenle chuckled. “We’ll close up at ten?” Renjun questioned. Jeno looked up to the clock on the wall, just above the counter and nodded. The group went on talking for hours. It was mostly them explaining to Jeno about the games that he wasn’t interested in. But for the sake of his friends, he listened. The longer they went on, the longer Jeno noticed the time was way past ten. It was almost twelve. At least they didn’t have classes the next day so that was a good thing. “Um guys...?” Jeno suddenly let out. The whole group went from laughing hysterically to silence and all attention was on him. “Yeah?” Jaemin asked.

“Is it bad to say that I want us to bring back Hot Sauce?” Jeno already expected their expressions. Some showed their shock outwardly, while the rest were simply silent. But their eyes were filled with uncertainty and wary. “You can’t be serious, right?” Mark turned his eyes from the table and to Jeno. Jeno had a second of doubt in his train of thought, but he has fallen too deep, too quick. “Yes.” Haechan instantly stood up and went around the table to Jeno. He turned Jeno to have him. And he placed firm hands on Jeno’s shoulders. “Do you not remember what happened? What we did? The fact we almost got caught?”

Jeno remembered it clearly. It was a regular day for the guys. Everyone was meeting at Mark’s dorm room for a game night. Jeno was about to roll the dice when Jisung came bursting through the door open. “Guys! I need help! I’m freaking out!” Jisung had his feet moving as if the floor was lava and he couldn’t stop jumping. Chenle had to hold him still to get an answer out of him. “I think I made something.” Everyone looked at each other with skepticism painted on their faces, eyes scrutinising Jisung. They didn’t know if they could trust Jisung’s words. To them he was just the youngest, the most innocent. But what he made certainly wasn’t.

“What do you mean?” Mark asked, tilting his head. Jisung panted and tried to steady his breathing for him to answer. “Follow me to the dorm kitchen.” Jisung brisked walked down the hall, Jeno could hesr his feet shuffling but he quickly stopped in his track, turning back to peek his head out of the doorframe. “Come on!” Jisung urged with his hand gesturing to follow him. Everyone was still exchanging unsure glances, but Haechan was the first one to groan as he stood up to his feet from the floor, jerking his head towards the door. “Let’s just entertain whatever he’s up to.” With the room filled with heaves of sigh and hisses, one by one they stood up and left the dorm to visit the dorm kitchen.

By the time all of them were down to the kitchen, Jisung was already standing there with some equipment in front of him. Laboratory equipment. Jeno narrowed his eyes as everyone gathered around the kitchen counter and leaning towards Jisung, most probably to see what was inside that glass flask. What seemed surprising to Jeno was the fact that it didn’t even look like a solution. It was hot sauce. “Jisung if you’re making some prank on us-” “I’m not!” Jisung protested, grabbing the flask firmly in his hand and bringing up in front of him. “I think I made a love potion. With hot sauce.” Yet again, everyone had a look of disbelief. Looks that said “This is ridiculous. How is this even real?”

“You know we won’t believe you unless you prove it.” Renjun said, leaning back with his arms folded and having both brows raised as a sign for a challenge. Prove that the love potion was real, or they’d win this side of the challenge. “Alright, fine. Tell me someone you want to have fall for you. Any one of you.” Jisung slammed the flask on the table, the loud sound making Jeno flinch since he expected the flask to break from the sound of impact. Luckily it didn’t. “I want to try it on one of the girls in my major.” Chenle said, intentionally making it sound like a joke and laughing out loud afterwards. Jisung frowned deeply and had his eyebrows furrowed and eyes darting onto Chenle. “Come on don’t joke around. I actually think this might work.”

“Jeez okay, okay.” Chenle exhaled for a long moment. He placed his hands on the edge of the kitchen counter and leaned forward, shoulder raised. “So are there any rules I need to follow? Because if this is like those love arrows, a wrong move would result in chaos.” Chenle added on. No one responded. Because no one knew how. Everyone was uncertain about this, deeply skeptical and scrutinising of the whole idea. Jisung unfortunately has yet been able to gain even an ounce of credibility from them. “Well, once they taste the hot sauce, you must be in their line of vision. If my theory is correct, the first person they make eye contact with will the one they’ll fall for.” Jisung sounded like he was some advanced chemist. And to some extend, he was. He is taking a chemistry major after all.

“Have you tried this on... I don’t know, a test subject or something? Rats?” Mark questioned, and it sounded like a genuine one. Jeno simply folded his arms and kept himself quiet while he tried to let all the information sink in. It was hard to believe, and what were the chances of it actually working? The unknown answers to Jeno’s never ending questions, which he’s certain that it was on everyone’s mind as well, got him to let out an unintentional huff through thin lips. “Well... no. But that is why I’m asking you guys to try it. Tomorrow.” Jisung sounded determined. And Jeno couldn’t help but have his heart soften at the sight of his poor friend. “Is there anything else we should know about this ‘love potion’?” The words felt weird rolling off his tongue, it just didn’t set right with him just yet.

“I honestly have no idea what happens after. How deeply they’ll love you, how to break it. I can’t be certain on any of that.” Chenle, Haechan and Renjun gaped their mouths open and let out a breath. “Then shouldn’t we use it on other people and not ourselves?!” Renjun exclaimed. Jisung rolled his eyes with exasperation and slammed his hands palm down on the counter. “I- of course! Why would I put you guys in danger? What I meant was that any of you could ask anybody to try it. I didn’t mean to use it for it to work on you!” Jisung shouted, a groan following after. The kitchen fell silent and an unfamiliarly tense air surged through the gaps of the seven friends.

“Fine. Chenle, take the hot sauce. We’ll meet at the café for Chenle to report what happens. Alright?” The silence continued for a short moment before everyone hummed softly and nodded their heads. Jisung picked up the cork and placed it on the flask, pushing it to Chenle. Everyone watched as Chenle picked it up and took time to examine the flask and its content. He sucked in his lips and nodded as well. With that, everyone exited the kitchen and decided to go back to their own dorms. The thoughts of Jisung and the potential love potion lingering on through the night.

After the spam of a week or so, Jeno was deeply anticipating for the results as he rushed his way to the café at evening. When he entered, everyone was already surrounding the tables, again they were silent. He knew Chenle have yet to tell them the results since everyone gestured for Jeno to come join them, and he took long sprints to get to the table and settle down. Chenle was rubbing his knees anxiously, some followed, while the rest, including Jeno, were dead silent and simply wanted the answer out. Chenle finally took in a deep breath. “It worked. It fucking worked.”

Everyone was speechless, motionless. Everyone’s eyes trailed to each and every one of them, eventually staring down at Chenle and occasionally Jisung. Jisung was the first the move, his mouth hanged open and his eyes widened till it looked like his eyeballs could have fallen out of their eye sockets. Jisung snatched the flask that still had some hot sauce left and raised it in the air. Jeno could see the victorious feelings surging through his friends’s veins. Jisung jumped up from his seat and went in small circles from all the excitement. “Dude! I honestly can’t believe it.” Chenle said. And this time, everyone had an expression of disbelief, but the different kind. The positive kind.

“We need every detail on what happened.” Jeno eagerly asked. Chenle’s story was long winded, but in Jeno’s head, he summarised it as the moment the girl tasted the hot sauce, she suddenly changed. And when she met the eyes of the random guy, she was nothing but head over heels. And it went on for the whole day. “I did some experimenting myself to help you. And I found out how to break the effects of the potion.” Chenle said that the one that tasted the potion had to taste something sweet to settle the taste of heat from the hot sauce. Jisung instantly offered his hand to help make a heartbreak potion in relation to the love potion.

“Do you guys know what this means for us?” Jisung said. Everyone had their brows raised quizzically. “Don’t you see that everyone our age is looking for love? We make it easy for them, and we get paid. We can make a whole business out of this!” Jisung shoved the flask of love potion into everyone’s faces, causing them to lean back, but laughter and happy chuckles spread through the group fast. “Ah yes!” With that, approval was gained. Slowly and surely, they let the news about their secret love potion spread through the campus, and people began buying, with them earning a fortune in no time. It was a successful underground business the guys had, and Jeno was glad he was doing it with his friends.

Until that one day. The day Jaemin used the love potion on himself, and things got extremely rocky. They made a rule to themselves to not use it for their own benefits, but Jaemin was too naive, and wanted to make his crush fall in love with him. But instead, Jeno was one that was loved, not Jaemin. And that almost set the group of friends to crumble with constant distrust. On top of that, being an underground business, they were almost caught by the police. It was an exciting, but also dark time for the guys. Which was why they ended up not making the love potion for good after a few months of easy money, promised to never be brought up again. But it was Jeno that had to do it.

“I remember what happened. But I know what to be careful of now. Please, let me use it.” Jeno was practically pleading at this point. This girl, whoever she was, got him to be this desperate, got him thinking to go to such lengths for her to look his way, and only his. Jaemin placed a hand on Jeno’s shoulders, and his eyes trailed from his hand and to his face. “Please know what you’re doing. I don’t want us being like that again.” Jaemin’s voice was soft and caring, with worry wishing through his words. Jeno blinked one at him, eyes blaring with truth and determination. “I’ll be careful.”

That night, Jeno went back with Jisung to the lab to make the potion, Jaemin following along. Once Jisung was done, and that alone took long hours into the night, Jisung passed it in a small bottle this time, the cork blocking the view of the hot sauce from the top view. Jisung tapped Jeno’s shoulder and walked out of the kitchen, leaving with him and Jaemin in the quiet of the dead night. “I hope it works.” Jeno whispered, eyes on the bottle. He felt Jaemin’s eues on him. “I hope so too.” The words were heavy, and Jeno knew what he was implying. “It’s fine that we went through that. But please don’t let it happen again.”

I was at my study table. The papers were scattered all over in a huge mess. If I were to look at that all that any longer, I might just faint. I turned to around on my chair, letting my body sink into it as I threw my head back in stress and despair. I’ve been sitting here for hours now, and the amount of work I was able to get done was definitely not up to my satisfaction. On top of the stress of having a lot of assignments, I was now stressed on the fact that I wasn’t able to complete any of them. I guess it’s just one of those days when your brain refuses to function. And I seriously hate those days.

I called Jaehyun, asking him to video call me to serve as my mental support and encouragement to do my assignment. But instead he brought up the suggestion of studying at the café. And to that I immediately said yes. “Only if you pay for the food.” I said with a happy laugh as I jumped off my chair to get ready. “i’m sure they’re kind enough to make it free.” I smiled wider. It was late at night and I’m surprised at the fact that they’re still open. Just what time did they close?

Jaehyun and I went in, but we were greeted with only three of them present. Haechan, Mark, and Jeno. “Oh hey guys!” Haechan got up from his seat when he heard the door open and his eyes met ours. The other two turned around and waved at us. I responded back. Jeno’s eyes were locked on mine for what felt like an eternity, and my heart couldn’t help but skip a beat. Luckily it wasn’t enough to have me heat up. That is, until he smiled. The butterflies were quick to flutter in my stomach and heat was raised up to my cheeks. I could only hope that it wasn’t obvious. Jeno’s smile was brief but bright. If he didn’t smile, it’ll seem like he’s someone unapproachable, closed off. That smile changed everything about his aura.

“We just came here to study.” I let out, holding up the stack of papers i had in my hand before bringing it back to my chest. Jaehyun hummed right after and they all nodded, their smiles still plastered on their faces. “We’re hoping to get free drinks?” Jaehyun grinned back, almost in a mischievous way as he raised both his eyebrows up in anticipation. I laughed sheepishly. “We don’t mind.” Jeno said as he rolled his shoulders and slid his hands into his pockets. “What can we get you?” Jeno slowly walked up to where we seat. His eyes were taking small glances to me, and I tried my best to look away to seem natural. “There’s a watermelon drink, right?” Jeno nodded his head. “I’ll just get that.”

“And you?” Jeno gestured to Jaehyun. He offered to allow Jeno choose the drink that was easiest for him to make. I turned my head to the window, afraid that I might explode from the way Jeno kept looking at me. Once he went away, I immediately turned back to face Jaehyun and gasped for air. I can never breathe properly when Jeno’s around. “You don’t look okay.” Jaehyun let out with a raised brow. “Do you think I should be like those girls that don’t think they need anybody to make the guy like them more?” I questioned as the sudden thought popped up in my head. “You mean play hard to get.” Jaehyun gave me an unimpressed look, to which I responded with a roll of my eyes.

“Why would you do that?” Jaehyun asked, purely out of curiosity. “Mm, because it seems like Jeno’s likes me or something.” I shrugged and slumped my back into the chair. Jaehyun turned his head to the threes guys, specifically eyeing Jeno and snapping his head back to me with a laugh of amusement. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” Jaehyun raised his shoulders and folded his arms on the table, leaning in slightly. “But why play hard to get?” I laughed, and Jaehyun was shocked at my response. “Just think it’ll be fun. I’ve never experienced love in awhile now. Nothing wrong in playing a little.” I tilted my head to the side as I watched Jaehyun gape his mouth open and scrunching his face. “There’s so many things wrong with that, _____!” I frowned.

“My life, my rules.” I simply said with a light giggle. Mark came back and served our drinks. He was quick to shuffle back to his friends, not wanting to make a small talk. Jaehyun and I took out our materials for studying, or in my case assignments and began to get to work after I took a sip of my drink and set it aside by the window. The café was entirely silent for the whole time, merely small chatters and bickering from the three that sat at the other table. But after awhile, the murmurs died out. But I didn’t bother to look away from my work since watching Jaehyun actually gave me an encouragement boost, seeing how he’s hardworking and fully in the zone.

I decided to take a five minute break after burning through most of my assignments in a few hours. I didn’t even know what time it was. All I knew was that the sun had set and the night had made itself comfortable in the sky. When I looked up to grab my drink from the window, I saw myself in the reflection, but I also saw Jeno, plainly having his back faced away from me. He’s the only one there, Mark and Haechan were gone and out of sight. I turned around to him. “Hey, Jeno?” I called out, loud enough for him to hopefully hear. He lifted his head up instantly and shot his eyes to me quick. “Yes?” He replied, dropping his phone onto his lap. “Where did Mark and Haechan go?”

Jeno’s mouth formed an ‘O’ as he stood up and idled his way up to our table. He clasped his hands behind his back. “They went out to eat.” Jeno replied with a soft smile. That simple movement would be running laps in my mind. “Why didn’t you go?” Jaehyun questioned as he set his pen down and lifted his arms to stretch them out as well as his back. “He has to take care of the café, Jae.” I replied bluntly since the answer was obvious, but I guess Jaehyun was still zinging back from all the work he had done. Jeno nodded his head upon hearing my response. “I can’t leave the cafe unattended.” There was a long pause of silence for a moment, as Jaehyun and I watched Jeno standing upright awkwardly. “Actually, I might join them.”

I creased my forehead as my mouth gaped open slightly the moment Jaehyun said that. I saw the look in his eyes. I knew what he was doing. I narrowed my eyes down on him and he winked back with glee. I took a moment to take a quick glance at Jeno, and although it was fully visible, a look of shock could be seem for a brief second before disappearing and plastering on a neutral expression. “I’m starving so.” Jaehyun left the unfinished sentence hanging in the air as he rose form his chair and begin to pack up, grabbing all his belongings from the table and placing it into his bag quickly. I knew he was in a rush to get Jeno and I alone. I all but wanted to smack him in the head. “Text me when you get back to the dorms, okay!” Jaehyun shouted from the door as he happily waved at me and ran out of the café.

I absentmindedly let out a sigh as a reaction of Jaehyun’s intention for going out. I lifted my head to Jeno, who was staring at the table so intensely. “You can sit, you know.” I gestured my chin to the table in front of me and with a nervous laughter, he slowly sat down, placing his phone faced down on the table and sliding the chair in. “How was studying?” Jeno asked. I could feel him tense up already, as if I could read his mind while he bit his lower lip. “Why ask such a question?” Was what Jeno could be thinking in his head. “I was actually able to get my shit done. Well, almost.” I chuckled, beginning to gather up my papers and stacking them neatly. While doing so, I felt his eyes on me, as if watching my every move. As a tease, I shot my eyes up to him like a slingshot, a mischievous smile forming on my lips.

Jeno widened his eyes when I did, and I couldn’t help but laugh softly. “You look tensed up with me, calm down.” I finished stacking up my papers and shove it to the side, realising that my cup was already empty to mere drops gathered at the bottom. “I’m not tensed, please.” Jeno cracked a smile and ran a hand through his hair, and oh God I’d want to reply that in my head for hours on. Boy was I falling for this boy fast. But I’d want to classify my feelings as pure infatuation. Although I would want to fall in love, I wanted to be more careful this time, not to fall head over heels on the first glance. “How did you guys come up with the idea of opening up the café?”

That question set our long time of conversation going. I didn’t know how, but our topics quickly changed and as the night grew darker, the topic began to grow more deep, more personal. I got to know a few things about him. Like how he liked to bike, and has a thing for cats. He told me that the possibility of the fact that I didn’t know him was because he was only popular in his major as well as the connections of his friends. And I’d agree. I never did anything else other than going for lectures and going to the dorm straight after. I wasn’t the most social out there, but neither was Jeno. His only friend circle were his six friends, and that’s that.

“You seem to have the perfect life.” I muttered, at this point, I had my body faced to the window, looking at the ink black sky that was painted with splatters of white as stars. What’s even better was that the moon was shining, and that gave the darkened café a glow above the white aesthetic of the café. “I just never been in love for a long time.” I blinked my eyes, turning to Jeno. Jeno’s eyes flickered with uncertainty for a moment, but he slowly shook his head to get rid of them. “That’s a story for another time.” I didn’t know how, but I guess the ambiance of the café got our voices to get soft and gentle, exchanging our words with whispers and mutters. It was so calming and peaceful. My night talk with Jeno was something I wished I could do every night. The quietness of the atmosphere, and everything about this moment. I wanted it to last.

“You should go home. I’m worried I’m keeping you up.” Jeno must’ve noticed how my eyes kept fluttering open each time I talked, with them falling back to close right after. I weakly hummed and moved my body to face him. “Yeah, I guess.” With that, Jeno helped me to pack my things and send me to the door. “You are okay to go back yourself, right?” I hummed again. “How’s that Taeyong guy, he’s not texting you or anything?” I smacked my lips and heaved a long sigh. “He’s far into my past for me to give a fuck anymore. Well, except for that one night. But yes, I am well capable of going myself.” I flashed a reassuring smile. He placed a hand on my shoulder, sending a bolt of lighting through my whole body, but I tried to not make myself flinch at the touch and left the café.

—Say you'll call me baby.

The moment Jeno closed the door, he couldn’t help but frown. He slowly took the small bottle of love potion out of his apron, playing it around his palm as he thought of whether he should use it or not. It seemed like she genuinely liked him. But it also felt like she didn’t want to be anything more. But how could Jeno assume her feelings towards Jeno this quickly. All Jeno is right now is blinded by her everything. And he wanted her to be his. I wrapped his fingers around the bottle tightly, squeezing it hard as he thought over it one last time. Was it the right thing to do? No. But was Jeno desperate? Yes. He wanted her desperately, and if the love potion’s not going to let someone like her slip out of his grasp, he’ll gladly do it. It sounded selfish if he were to say it out loud, but he couldn’t help it.

“I want her to call me baby.”

“You haven’t used it on her yet?” Jeno jumped at the familiar voice, shooting his head up so fast it almost gave him whiplash. Jaemin was standing right in front of him, posture laid back and relaxed with his hands sliding in his pockets. His eyes flickered to the bottle for a moment and back to him. Jeno was too deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice his friend making an entrance. Jeno noticed the shift of his eyes and looked down to the bottle as well, quickly pulling it out of their sight by placing it behind hum. “Um- well no. Not yet.” Jeno said, his voice just slightly shaky after he cleared his throat. “Why?” Jaemin swerved around Jeno to get past him and Jeno turned around.

To get his mind to settle after going far with this thoughts, he decided to ask another question. “Why’re you here?” Jaemin clicked his tongue, his back still facing Jeno as he walked around the café. Jaemin inhaled sharply, his chest lifting up before it went back down in a flash. “They told me to come check on you. Don’t know why because I know you’re responsible enough to close the café yourself.” Jaemin didn’t look at him when he replied as he slowly walked to the window. “You didn’t answer me.” Jaemin muttered. “It’s too quick to use it now.” Jeno let out in a mere whisper, he knew his friend would hear him. Jeno took slow strides to stand next to Jaemin who was by the window, noticing just how deep into the night they were.  

Jaemin turned his head slightly to Jeno, but not entirely. HIs eyes were still on the scenery.  “I thought you were so eager to use it. You seem to really like her.” Jaemin added on. Jeno could hear his gentle breathing. Jeno sucked in a breath to prolong the time he needed to answer. To be very honest, he didn’t exactly have one. But after a long pause, he let out, “I just wanted to see if it’s even needed to use the love potion.” Jeno frowned ever so slightly, looking at Jaemin in the reflection of the window, seeing a slightly surprised expression on his face but he was quick to ice it over. “Did you not think of the factors that come with this?” Jaemin slid his hands out of his pockets and folded his arms, placing his weight on one leg. 

Jeno raised an eyebrow. “As if I didn’t.” Jeno muttered, his words accidentally rolling off his tongue with a sharp tone which earned an expected scoff from Jaemin. “I’m just saying. Jisung didn’t make that potion in months, almost a hear.” Jaemin gulped, his upper body slowly turned to face Jeno. “What if something bad happens?” At this point, reckless Jeno from the long day was starting to take effect, and he was beginning to get tired of Jaemin sending constant hint, though at the back of his mind he knew Jaemin was saying all the those for his safety, for the safety of his heart. 

“If you don’t want me to use the love potion just say it.” Jeno rubbed his temples and let out a huff. Jaemin was so surprised by Jeno’s reply that he leaned back. Jaemin had never seen this defensive side of his friend in a long time. “I just...” Jeno waited for Jaemin to finish his sentence, but it was left hanging in the tensed air that was between them. “I’m sorry.” Jeno breathed out, glancing down to his feet before lifting his head back up and straightening his back. “It’s fine. It’s your life. Whatever happens, I’ll be here for you.” Jeno turned to him, a small sincere smile was on his face, and it warmed Jeno’s heart enough to reciprocate it. “Let’s pack up. And I’m sleeping at your dorm tonight.” Jaemin’s smile quickly turned to a cheeky one as he hopped to get to the entrance. Jeno chuckled, shaking his head. “Why’s that?”

Jaemin had a hand on the cafe door. Jaemin snapped his head to Jeno’s direction. “I didn’t do that for quite some time now, don’t you think?” Jeno widened his smile till a grin appeared, dashing to turn off all the lights and quickly exiting  the cafe. But before he did, he took one last glance at the table where she seated, almost seeing her figure made his heart thump in a matter of seconds but he shook his head to clear slate of her and ran after Jaemin. 

“Anyone who hasn’t finished their assignments, please get them ready the next time I see you. Don’t ask me for extra credits on this one.” The lecture hall was filled with long groans and whines. I wished I could get out right now so I didn’t have to deal with this any longer. It’s stupid how students beg for extra credits but are yet able to submit their assignment on time. I didn’t see the point to it. My professors rolled his eyes and huffed in exasperation. “Quit the whining you’re all too old for that. Class dismissed.” Everyone instantly stood up from their seats and wasted no time to exit the hall. Everyone was so eager to leave. And wanting to avoid the commotion at the door, I waited behind and took my time to pack up.

Once the exit was completely empty, which only took about five minutes since everyone was pushing each other to get out, I finally slung my bag over my shoulders and carried my laptop in my hand before walking down the stairs to get to the exit. And when I stepped out and turned to the right, I was instantly met and a figure laying their back against the brick wall, legs out while they casually scrolled through their phone. Though I couldn’t see their face due to them wearing a black cap, the bright blonde hair that stood out below was blinding and I immediately knew who it was at the very first glance. “Jeno...?” I called out, walking towards him slowly. He instantly lifted his eyes off his phone, meeting mine and a small smile grew on his lips. “Hey.”

I glanced about our surroundings. There were certainly people staring. Whispers and murmurs floated in the air and came to reach me so fast that I wish I could melt into the floor and disappear from the face of the earth. I sucked in my lips and breathed out, shaking my head. “What exactly are you doing here?” I asked in a hushed tone. I was suddenly feeling cautious as the eyes of whoever’s were drilling down my back. It felt wrong to have Jeno right in front of me right now. It’s as if he was too good for me to be around with. But not going to lie, that is true. Students were giving me disgusted glances and glares. I washed away such thoughts and brought my attention back to Jeno, who had his eyes on the people around us before pushing himself away from the floor and sighing purposefully loud for them to hear.

“I genuinely didn’t know what time you ended lecture so I waited.” Jeno said with the most casual tone ever. I squinted my eyes at him and tilted my head a mere fraction. I took this time to look him up and down. His fit was the most casual thing ever. Black shirt tucked loosely in black jeans ripped at the knees and black sneakers. The black cap made him look mysterious, cold. He’d honestly seem like someone I would never dare to approach with an outfit this dark. But it accentuated his perfect body proportions along with having his biceps just slightly showing under his sleeves. The look was simple, but he made it a hundred time more attractive. “And why were you waiting?”

Jeno lifted his cap off and ran his free hand through his hair. That action alone got my heart to speed up its pace and began to feel unsteady under my skin. “I actually wanted you to come to the café to try something new I made.” Jeno smiled widely till his eyes formed a thin line. The cap overshadowed his face, but I could clearly see the features of his face. And right now, he looked like those cute dogs. However, the low chatters, stares, scrutinising glances were beginning to take over my mind. And for some reason, I wished that I wasn’t standing with Jeno in public right now. “Can you text me and I’ll go some other time?” I whispered, brushing a strand behind my ear as I shot back annoyed eyes to the people walking by, to no one specific. But I knew a lot of people were talking about me. As if I wasn’t made to be In Jeno’s line of vision.

Jeno gave me a weirded out look and blinked his eyes rapidly. “Why? I waited so I could take you there right now.” He said, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. I could tell he was taking quick glances at where I kept looking and he bit his lower lip. “We’ll get out of here.” Jeno reached out to hold my wrist, but I quickly pulled back, shaking my head. “No, please. Just... now’s not the right time. Text me later, I guess.” I gulped and squinted my eyes shut before turning around sharply and walking away in a quick pace. I stared down at the floor, too annoyed to look up as the whispers trailed along behind me but drowned out the further I went. If being around Jeno would earn me such hate, I wouldn’t even dare to be seen with him like just now ever again. I didn’t want to deal with that. Jeno’s too good for me. That I could already tell. And this just confirmed that he was.

—Tell me you'll be okay. If I leave you alone today

Jeno stood there, completely stunned and frozen as he watched her back grew smaller and she went further and eventually disappearing when she turned a corner. Jeno let out a frustrated groan and took his cap off to ruffle his hair, shutting his eyes. He opened them back up with a sharp motion, turning around to walk the other way and a shake of his head. Jeno wondered what was with her sudden defensive aura. He knew it was because of the never ending drills of eyes on them. But he could’ve quickly drew them out of there and headed for the café. Jeno guessed that he was too late. Jeno planned to use the potion on her that day, too bad disappeared the moment he took a step forward for her.

That night, Jeno was restless. He was pacing to and fro of his dorm, throwing his phone up in the air and catching, continuing with that motion through the hours he’d been pacing. Jeno wanted to see her again. Jeno wanted to use the potion. But it seemed like he was losing every given time to do so. And he felt like he was at a loss. Giving up and finding no point in wasting his physical energy walking, he dropped himself onto his bed and laid down, eyes staring into the ceiling as if picturing Jeno and her together, something that would be a gamble to happen. He sighed quietly. “Tell me you’re okay. Even if you don’t want me there.” Jeno whispered to himself as he prayed that she’ll be okay even if he wasn’t there for her.

Jeno hasn’t seen her for the next few days. She didn’t come to the café anymore. And when Jaehyun came occasionally, she wasn’t there with him. Even at the official opening of the café and the time after, she wasn’t there. Jeno was getting worried. She wasn’t even seem on campus whenever Jeno went for lectures. It’s as if she disappeared entirely, just like how it was before. He wondered day after day where she could’ve gone. He would’ve asked Jaehyun, but he said no for the sake of her privacy.

“She’s been through things, Jeno.” Jaehyun muttered, his voice a low rasp as he began explaining about her situation. They were sitting on the benches on campus, and Jeno hoped she’d somehow appear, but of course he couldn’t deny the reality. “What has she been through?” Jeno asked in desperation. He saw the hesitation flicker in Jaehyun’s eyes for a clear moment. He heaved a sigh and ran a hand down his face. “Taeyong. He raped her.” There were no filters to his words, no sugarcoating, nothing. It was out there in the open, hard and tense off his tongue. Jeno could tell Jaehyun’s heart felt heavy in an instant, and so was his. He shouldn’t have asked. Now he was feeling bad.

Later that night he was up again, just like any night. Clearly he had her on his mind. But this time, it was just a little different. Jeno was laying out all he knew in his mind, mapping it all out in hopes to sort out his feelings that he has still yet to unravel and identify. The longer he stared up the ceiling and ponder, he might have just came to a conclusion.

“I’ll use it on you, so you wouldn’t have to go through it again.” That was what Jeno planned to do. He could’ve just made it work like how regular relationships have their buildup. But what if it doesn’t work? What if she’s too scared of Jeno? That’s what he feared. And he wanted to show her that she didn’t need to suffer. He wanted to make sure she knew. He has now shifted his focus on the potion. Clearly he wanted to use it for her to fall in love with him, but he also wanted to make her feel better. To know that Jeno was there for her. He turned to his side with a grunt, staring into blank space before finally shutting his eyes.

I flinched when I was tapped on the shoulder hard and I instantly swing my head behind on instinct. “Jaehyun!” I shouted, punching his arm lightly as he laughed and moved to walk beside me. I folded my arms and feigned a sigh. “Let’s go to the café.” Jaehyun suggested, and my heart suddenly felt its weight. I sucked in my lips, my feelings and mind unsure on making a decision. “I don’t feel like it...” I whispered, glancing down to the floor before looking up to have my face meet the sunlight. I shut my eyes and kept walking with my head lifted up. I heard Jaehyun sigh quietly and he hummed, somewhat finding a way to sort out his words in his head.

“I know you don’t want to go because of Jeno. But just try... No one will get to you like how Taeyong did. I’ll make sure of it.” Jaehyun said, his tone gentle with a sheer underlying persuasion. I groaned and adverted my eyes to Jaehyun. “Even if he likes me, he’s too good for me. People stared at me like it was a crime for someone as perfect as Jeno to be waiting outside the lecture hall for me. It’s ridiculously annoying and I don’t think I can put up with it 24/7.” I ran a frustrated hand through my hair before continuing. “There are plenty of other reasons why he’s too good for me too.” I ended the sentence with a voice almost inaudible.

I could tell Jaehyun was just as frustrated as I am, because he fired back. “He may be too good. But he sees something in you that has never caught his attention like any other girls here. Give him a chance. Get out of your “closed off” phase. I hate how what happened with Taeyong is keeping you from being fully happy.” I hate to admit it, but Jaehyun was right. I’ve never been entirely happy. Of course I had Jaehyun, but he had a life for himself to live. He couldn’t be with me always. And without him, my life hasn’t seen that much joy. And Jeno was seen as a possible opening to that joy for me, maybe.

Jaehyun wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I gave him a death glare. “Don’t give me that look. You know I’m right anyways. So let’s go to the café.” With his strong hold, I knew I couldn’t get out of it and I was about to be dragged to the café just like Jaehyun wanted. I closed my eyes for a moment to mentally prepare myself and we went.

At the café, not all the guys were there. It seemed like they were taking turns to take shifts each day. And today was none other than Jeno. As if fate wanted him to be here, and wanted me to come on this very day. The sunlight was blaring into the café and brought full light on the white of the café. Jeno lifted his head up from the sound of the door opening and smiled. I wished I wasn’t so easily swayed by such a simple movement. But it was Jeno. “The usual?” I had on a confused look till Jaehyun hummed and I realised Jeno was referring to him. I guess he saw my expression, because he turned to me and asked, “Do you want what you ordered last time?” I simply nodded my head, no words coming out of my mouth.

Jaehyun and I took a seat as the two of us watched Jeno preparing our drinks with speed and profession. I exhaled deeply. “I like him. But I’m too scared.” I finally admitted, keeping my voice so low for only one pair of ears to hear.

On the other hand, Jeno was taking quick glances at her, seeing if she was looking. And indeed she was, along with Jaehyun. Jeno kept his eyes on the drinks, but kept peaking down to his apron pocket where the small glass bottle of hot sauce glistened. Jeno wet his lips and slowly took it out as he brought the drinks to the machine. And in one quick swift motion, he made sure he eyed the correct drink and dumped in just three drops of the hot sauce. He gulped deeply and threw it back into the pocket of his apron. He proceeded to quickly make a drink of his own and bringing it to them in a flash. He made sure to not mix up the drink and sat down beside Jaehyun.

I smiled the moment Jeno placed my drink in front of me and sat down. I licked my lips, looking down at the drink and thought about how long it had been since I last drank it. “I actually added something new to that drink. Was wondering if you could tell me what you think.” Jeno leaned in. For some reason, he leaned in quite a lot, as if he only wanted himself to be in my line of sight. I chuckled and nodded my head, dipping down to place my lips on the heart shaped straw. I sucked in a sip, my eyes unconsciously locking onto Jeno’s as he stared at me with such intent and attention.

I swallowed it. I couldn’t help but cough at the taste. It felt the same, but there was something... spicy underlying the refreshing flavours. I scrunched my face up and leaned back, shaking my head. “Jeno... what did you-” My mind went blank.

Jeno was observing her every move. Every twitch on her face. She was blinking her eyes rapidly, and when she opened them back, she had her eyes darting on Jeno, and Jeno only. She gulped, and her eyes were filled something light, a look of uplift. “Jeno...” She whispered softly. She gaped her mouth open and leaned in, their faces merely inches away from each other and Jeno’s heart began to pick up its pace at the small sparks that were bursting between. Even if they weren’t real. “What the fuck?” Jeno turned to Jaehyun when he sounded. He raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his sear with folded arms. “I mean I knew she liked you but she’s never shows it until-” Jaehyun paused, a scoff escaping his lips. “Now.”

Jaehyun didn’t notice her sudden change? Was it not obvious that he used something on her? It looked natural? Jeno’s mind was spiralling with questions and he refrained himself from looking to shocked at Jaehyun’s casual reaction. Jeno slowly adverted his attention back to her. She had her palms on her cheeks. It looked so real. Her eyes were sparkling with Jeno in her sight. Butterflies began to flutter in his stomach, a feeling he’s never felt in so long. It felt new. “I want to be alone with you, Jeno.” Jeno’s eyes widened so much, and he couldn’t help but lean back from the sudden statement. Jaehyun scoffed again, this time louder. “I’ll go.” Jaehyun rose up from his seat. With a sly look, he pat Jeno’s arm firmly and finish whatever’s left of his drink and dashed out.

Jeno watched Jaehyun the whole way till the door closed and he disappeared. Jeno sucked in his lips, hearing her hum softly. “H-How are you feeling?” Jeno was still in bewilderment by how it was actually working. He was indeed fascinated to see the potion working its magic on the person he wanted. “I feel normal. But so in love...” Her giggles echoed through the lone café and Jeno gulped in nervousness the moment she lifted her hand and grazed her fingers his, tracing them slowly and eventually interlocking her fingers with his. Jeno felt the heat rushing up his cheeks. It was clearly obvious that he’s blushing seeing how she used her free hand to brush her thumb on his cheek. “Why are you so cute, hm?” She asked, tilting her head and smiling widely till her eyes formed thin lines.

Jeno chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck that was how sweaty from the sudden overwhelming heat he was feeling. He looked into her eyes. It looked beautiful, shining so bright with so much love and happiness. He’d never seen her like this, and it was like she glowed up like the sun was made to shine only on her. But at the same time, the longer he looked, the longer he began to wonder just how much of the love in her eyes were even real. Maybe a tiny bit, or none at all.

With my eyes shut, I squinted them tight as the sunlight hit my face and glared at me. Struggling to flutter them open, I sat up, pressing my hands into the mattress. And that’s when it hit me. A sharp pain in my head as a migraine began to take place. It was so bad that I pressed my hand to my head, wincing in pain as if a needle was poking into my skull. I groaned and tried to move, but to no avail. I dropped back into bed. I rolled over to cover my eyes from the burning sun. But that was when I tried to search for my phone, frantically tapping the sheets to find it. Once I did, I turned it on, and realised it was twelve in the afternoon.

I sprang out of bed. I took a second look at my phone. How was I unaware of what day it was today? And what happened yesterday? I barely remembered anything. “I didn’t drink, did it?” I questioned myself softly as I lost my balance from the migraine and leaned my hand on the study table as I took wary steps out of my room. I thought it over again. I couldn’t have drank. I didn’t drink in a long time. So how was it that I didn’t remember anything from yesterday? I was able to take slow steps to the living room, dropping myself into the couch and running a hand through my hair. I turned on my phone yet again to call Jaehyun. And as I typed in the first two letters, another name besides Jaehyun’s came up.

“Jeno?” I lifted a hand to scratch my head. I never added Jeno to my contacts list before. When did I do that? I squint my eyes shut, trying my best to recall whatever that I did yesterday, or to know if I was even awake. And the only I last remembered was being at the café with Jaehyun. In an attempt to use some logical thinking, I could deduce that I possibly got Jeno’s number because he was at the café with me yesterday. But why would I ask for it. At the moment, my thumbs moved on its own, too late for my train of thoughts to aline and I already realised that I was calling Jeno. He picked up in a matter of seconds and I brought my phone up to my ear. “Hey baby.”

At the sound of Jeno’s voice and words, I was instantly put in a trance. I didn’t know how, but it was as if I got transported in my subconscious. I knew what was happening, what I was doing. And that was what’s making me have the strong urge to jump out of my skin shock. “Jeno! I missed you, baby!” I cried out, a smile cracking on my lips. I tried to shake my head, but I couldn’t. I was stuck. I didn’t have the intention to say those words. I also didn’t know I was going to do that. What was happening to me? “I have a lecture today. You want meet me and we could possibly go somewhere?” My eyes lit up with much joy and glee. I couldn’t believe my consciousness was acting like this. It’s not me at all.

“Mm sure! What time does it end?” The smile never felt my face. It was plastered there I knew it wouldn’t come off. My mind began picturing Jeno, with us going out to the city at night. Is that what I was envisioning? Even my heart was beating at a rapid speed when I didn’t want it to. It’s like all my actions were being controlled by something. It had my body react in a way that I couldn’t possibly tell at the moment. What’s scaring me the most was that I couldn’t do anything to stop it. And I could only let my consciousness take over the moment I sprang up at the mention that Jeno’s lecture would end at four in the evening. “Alright I’ll see you then. Love you!” I chuckled softly and ended the call, throwing my phone on the couch and running to my room to get dressed.

But ‘Love you’? Why would I say that? I was so confused as to what’s going on. My migraine disappeared too the moment this happened. I was getting ready, frantically picking out an outfit. At least my conscious knew what kind of clothes I would wear. Once I was done I turned to my full length mirror. I took a step forward to get a good look at my face, and when I stared into my eyes, there was a brief moment of darkness. I was still looking at my figure. I blinked my eyes. I did that. I glanced down to my fingers and moved them. I did that too. I slapped both my hands to my cheeks and I felt the sting that came from the impact. I’m suddenly back to my usual self.

I sucked in a breath and took a step back, looking up and down my whole outfit. Not going to lie, I did look good. I would’ve admired myself if I wasn’t so taken aback by the mysterious occurrence I just went through. I could hear my phone ringing suddenly from the living room. I walked slow, peeking my head forward and seeing it was Jeno who’s calling. I picked up, wanting him to say something first. “Hey, you ready? I’m already going out.” Jeno said, a happy tone shined through his words. I gulped and laughed softly, wanting to cover my awkwardness. “Y-Yeah I’m coming.” That stutter was not meant to be let out. Jeno hummed and ended the call. I grabbed my necessities and shoved them into the bag that matched my outfit and walked out the door.

As I went down the hallway and out of my dorm building, I kept shaking my head, trying to map everything out. What I just went through was certainly not normal. It’s like I was out of my body, yet trapped by the decisions made by whatever is doing this to me. I had my eyes on the floor for so long as if the answer would just magically appear, but of course to no avail, and I was left in the darkness to the actual thing that happened. My mind was all over the place, jumping here and there, making conclusions that I knew right off the bat was not possible. Or at least, scientifically possible.

I was way too deep in my thoughts that I bumped into someone. Hard. So hard that I stumbled back. And just when I thought I was going to fall, I was saved by a hand wrapping around my waist. With a firm and strong grip, it pulled me to stand back on my feet. But the hand stayed there. I slowly trailed my eyes up from where I was looking. A loose white button up that was ever so slightly see through and at the short gap between us, I could see just a hint of his abs shining through. It wasn’t buttoned up all the way, one or two unbuttoned. I was met with his collarbone and jawline, sharp and precise like it could cut steel. And finally his face. It was Jeno. His bright puppy smile blinding my vision.

“You seem to have your mind caught up in something.” Jeno said in a hushed tone, lifting his free hand and placing both his hands on my hips. His hold softened itself and his fingers hovered over my skin. I leaned back, biting my lower lip. I didn’t know how to respond. My heart thumping so hard it could possibly rip through my ribcage. I feel my cheeks heating up and I’m pretty sure they were now painted with a light shade of pink. I gaped my mouth open, fascinated at just how perfect Jeno looked. That I was even able to see him this close. His touch and deep eyes had my mind go blank and he had to lean in closer to check if I was okay. That wasn’t making it any better.

“You good, love? You’re blushing again.” Jeno chuckled, his low raspy voice that I never knew he could have till now send a cold shiver down my spine. I didn’t know what was happening. But if I wanted to get to the bottom of this, it looks like I’ll have to act. “Am I?” I pressed my palms to my cheeks, it was certainly burning hot. His hand slide up my curved, never lifting his hand off my body and trailed it to my hand. With the most lightest touch ever, he leaned down to kiss my knuckles. I blinked my eyes rapidly. I couldn’t keep a natural face. This was all an overwhelming amount of attractiveness at one go. I felt like collapsing right then and there.

“You look pretty.” Jeno finally steps back, finally giving me space for me to breath and let my lungs begin to function again as he eyed me up and down. He giggled and nodded his head. “You really do.” He reinforced, his hand now touching mine to interlock our fingers together. “You look good too.” Jeno seemed to make it possible for someone to look stunning just by wearing a mere button up and black jeans. Adding on was his blinding blonde hair that never failed to bring the look together. “Where are we going though?” I let out the question I’ve had on my mind this whole time.

Jeno began walking and it took me awhile to walk as well as I felt the tug of his hand, urging me to follow. “I’m offering to spend the whole day with you doing whatever we like. It’s our first time out, so I wanted to do what you like.” Jeno said with a carefree sigh leaving his lips as he looked up to the sky with a soft smile. It’s like he was genuinely happy to be hanging out with me and that made my heart miss a beat. “But I don’t want to make it all about me.” I replied, wanting to sound as engaged as possible. But if I’m being honest, I really was interested in finding out what he liked to do. Jeno breathed out a chuckle and downshifted his head. “How about the arcade?” Jeno tilted his head with a cheeky smile and I really couldn’t say no.

There wasn’t a word that could describe the day I had with Jeno. Even if there was, I’d never be able to describe it. It felt... magical. I never experienced something like this in a long time. The feeling of warmth, care for every move I make, Jeno’s gentleness treating me like I was a fragile human. We did things like from going to the arcade, to ice cream shop hopping, window shopping. He never showed any sign of boredom throughout. We ate and we talked, somehow the conversation was able to flow with ease. My heart fluttered each time he looked at me, each time he smiled, each time he got close and sent fireworks bursting in me with just the lightest touch. Jeno’s... perfect.

The night I spent with Jeno really buried whatever happened in the afternoon deep, but it was still at thr back of my mind. I’d figure it out when I get back. But right now, all I wanted to focus on were the stars that look like white paint splattering on an ink black canvas, twinkling above while I huddled close to Jeno with our legs hanging over the edge of the rooftop. My body was already pressed up against his, but he urged me to get closer with a squeeze of his hand on my waist. “I like this.” I whispered softly. This could’ve been a dream. It all felt too unreal. But it’s a dream I’ll never want to wake up from. The cold breeze winded by and a ton of hair got on my face. Jeno giggled and used his free hand to swipe away the strands in bits.

Jeno’s eyes were admiring every inch of her face as he went. The look in her eyes was beautiful. He longed to stay like this for hours. The love potion made this possible. And he somewhat felt glad he used it, despite having guilt anchored at the bottom of his heart.

“Can we make this an every week thing?” I whispered, thinking of the idea of wanting to escape, that he was my escape. I knew I’d have a great day well spent with him, and I’d like to have more days with him like these in the future. Jeno’s large hand held the back if my head and shifted me to rest my head on his chest while he placed his chin on the crown of my head. He hugged me, his hold just righr, his embrace subtle but perfect. “Anytime you need it, love.” His voice could send me floating up to the bright moon that had its light shining subtly on us.

But it was also this time that I began to wonder if it was my “possessed” self that needed to be on this date and not me. Then how was I suppose to feel? Would I have felt this feeling even if it wasn’t me in my skin? The questions slowly began to spiral as the silence of the night went on, but before it could give me a headache, “I think we should go. It’s late.” I muttered. A small cute frown appeared on his face but he slowly nodded his head. “Let’s go then.”

Later that night, Jeno spent hours having memories of their night running laps in his minds. He kept resonating it, and he never seemed to get bored of it. In fact, it made him more light and happier. Jeno was head over heels with this girl, and the didn’t mind falling this deep. Because he already knew that she was his. “So did the potion work?” Jeno flinched intensely as Jaemin’s voice entered the dorm and he sauntered towards him. Jeno grinned widely and furiously nodded his head. “I went out with her and it was so... magical a-and perfect.” Jeno gestured his hands around, outwardly trying to express himself.

“I’m glad.” Jaemin cracked a sincere smile, punching Jeno’s chest lightly with his first. “Just don’t forget to break the potion, okay?” Jeno smiled sheepishly to the floor and nodded, though Jaemin’s words didn’t fully submerge into his mind. All he could think about was the works of the love potion, and now it only made him fall for her a hundred folds.

I was on campus one day, just getting out of a lecture that really killed my braincells for the day. I was so worn out. That lecture somehow felt years longer than it should. And the boredom I got from it drained all the energy out of me. I was practically a lifeless walking corpse with my hunched over back and sliding footsteps. I didn’t have my eyes in front for the while I was walking, my eyes barely half opened. “_____.” On instinct I turned my head to the direction of the call. As if on cue, all life has suddenly come back into my body. And as my eyes met Jeno’s, I was taken over again. It’s like I wasn’t even tired in the first place. Against my will, I ran up to Jeno with the brightest smile ever.

“Hey baby.” I said, wrapping my arms around his torso while his unconsciously meets my waist. Reciprocating my smile, he said “Rare for us to meet on campus.” I freed one hand and teasingly placed it on his chest, playing with the fabric of his shirt. I didn’t like how whatever’s controlling me was making me so flirty and girly. I’m hating it. “Mm that’s true.” I replied, lowering my voice. “Are you free today?” I asked, a small frown appearing on my face. Jeno freed his hands from my waist and placed his index fingers on the corner of my mouth, rising my lips to turn my frown upside down. I giggled at the motion. “I’m actually going to the library to study. You can accompany me if you’d like.”

I eagerly nodded, releasing myself from Jeno and going to stand beside him with my hand lacing its fingers with his. I looked up at him with an overly bright smile. “Let’s go.” At the library, I was still in my subconscious. This spell thing or whatever is getting me to behave much more differently than I usually am. Does Jeno not see this? Does he not realise that I’m not me right now? Jeno had his eyes on his textbook. But he still kept giving me sidelong glances each second while I stared at him dreamily against my will. Just what was making me do all this?

“Why aren’t you studying, hm?” I felt a pull from my chest and I was instantly back to myself. To check if indeed I was, I began to pat my shoulders, arms and cheeks. Jeno chuckled softly in response. “Did you hear me, love?” Jeno leaned in close to my face with a whisper, and I leaned back slightly in shock, mouth agape and blinking eyes. Once I fully got to my senses, I shook my head vigorously. “I did.” I adjusted my upper body, straightening my back and pulling myself closer to the table. “I do that things to study.” I turned around to grab my book from my bag that was sitting on the chair next to me. And suddenly I felt a heavy weight on my chest, slowly arms snaking around my waist and I was instantly enveloped with warmth. I looked from my bag and tilted my head down, seeing Jeno resting his head on me with a firm grip on me. “You do that, and I’ll sleep on you.” Jeno smiled with his eyes closed. And honestly, that was the most adorable thing I’ve seen him do yet.

I raised a brow and shook my head, the chuckle leaving my lips. “Okay, okay.” I said, the small, almost invisible smile was still on me while I began to study. But it was hard to, with Jeno’s peaceful sleeping figure on me. Slowly and surely, as if my hand had a mind of its own, I placed my pen down and reached for Jeno’s hair. My fingers were hesitant for a moment, but they soon made contact with his hair. As expected, it was soft, silky and smooth. There was a light shine to his hair that the light reflected off. The bright blonde of his hair really got me to wonder how he kept his hair healthy after dying his hair such a colour. Jeno flinched at my action but relaxed himself in no time and got back to sleep.

Since I wasn’t able to concentrate studying, my mind trailed off from Jeno to my weird situation. I was going in and out of my conscious and it’s as if I was put under a spell of some sort to be someone I’m not. There’s obviously the possibility of some witchcraft being used on me since although the trend of making potions had died long ago, the existence of it still remains. And it shouldn’t be a surprise that there are people that still make it. But what potion was used on me? And when did I even eat it? If it’s making me act this lovey dovey towards Jeno then... was a love potion used on me? I gimaced at the thoughts. There’s no way someone like Jeno used a love potion on me. If I developed any feelings for him, it’s genuine and not forced and faked by a potion. Right?

“What’s wrong?” My lips formed an ‘O’ and I snapped my head down to Jeno who was looking at me with half opened and still sleepy eyes. I ran my hand through his soft hair again, combing through them in a slow pace. “If you’re this sleepy then you should sleep in your dorm and not here.” Jeno hummed and shook his head slowly, digging deeper into my chest and making me giggle from the tickled feeling I got from it. “I want to be with you.” Jeno’s voice was muffled against my shirt but it was clear as day through my eyes. And to hear Jeno say something like that had my heart feelings many different things at once.

For the next few days which lengthened itself into months, my relationship with Jeno slowly became from friends to lovers. Jeno was considerate with everything we did, asking if if was okay for us to kiss, or to take things to the next level. It’s as if he wouldn’t do anything without the decision being made by me. But in the process, I was still switching in and out. It came at random times, but those random times were while I hung out with Jeno. Whether it’d be seeing him on campus or hearing his voice through our calls, there was no telling when I’d switch and it frustrated me for so long now.

One day late at night I went to the library in hopes of fiinding a book that would explain whatever it is that was happening to me. And to my surprise, there was. It’s located in the History section of the library. I was surprised that such books on potion still existed and put on shelves for education. I doubt anyone touched this is years. The book had caught dust in the surface of the pages as well as any crevice and smallest nook it could get itself into. I slowly opened it up and tried my best to not get dust on my self as I brushed them away, reaching my hand out as far as possible to distance my face from the book. Once most of the dust was gone, I began to flip the page where it said “Love Potion” as the topic.

I began reading. And my eyes widened with each paragraph I read going down. The effects of the potion, it’s what I’m experiencing now. It said that it could be put into anything. So anything that I ate that day could’ve had the presence of the potion and I digested it into my body without me knowing. And the only way to break it was with a “Heartbreak Potion.” But it doesn’t say how to make it. Even if there was, it’d be impossible for me to find the ingredients for it. I balled fists into my hair as I silently groan in frustration. Great, I’m under a love spell that got me to like Jeno, the first person I looked at the moment the potion took effect. And then it hit me.

“Wait... If Jeno was the one that used the potion on me?” My body froze for a moment and my breathing stopped, lungs clenching but my mind continued to turn its gears. Why would he do that in the first place? As much as I wanted to think it wasn’t true, I had to ask him for the answer myself. And so the next day, I called Jeno, and prayed that the potion would not work on me while I asked him.

“Do you know about the love potion?” I asked Jeno. We were sitting on the bench on campus as the sun was setting. Streaks of pink and orange filled the sky with hints of purple. The weather wasn’t bad, too. It was cooling and just right. I hate how I had to make the air around us tense by asking this question. Jeno lifted his head up from my shoulder and rest his chin, looking up at me and shrugging. “Yeah, I guess. It used to be popular.” I gulped deeply and tightened my grip on my knees. “Have you ever tried it on someone before...?” Jeno slowly sat up right, he was looking at me, specifically right into my eyes as if searching for something in them. A long moment of silence went by, and it was a long moment of not being able to breathe in anticipation.

“So you knew.” I froze. My face remained expressionless. Knew? So I was right? He used the potion me. Jeno sighed and nodded his head in a defeating manner, sucking in his lips before saying “I could already tell something was wrong with the potion when your behaviour changed ever now and then.” He let out, scratching his eyes. I was still in a freezing moment, and it took awhile for the anger to settle in. And once it did when I came to my sense, my heart was burning and my eyes flared. With protuberant eyes I stood up from the bench, running my hand through my hair in anger and scoffing loudly. “Why the fuck would you do that to me? Why make me go against my will to love you?” I scowled.

Jeno jerked back at the sudden raise of my voice. He seemed like he didn’t have any words to fight back. He had his head hung low after taking one glance at me, and I knew he didn’t want to meet my eyes out of embarrassment and shame. “So were any of your feelings for me true?” I let out a sound to fireback but I quickly held it back the moment I registered the question. I balled my fist beside me, my eyes beginning to form its well of tears that my pride simply wouldn’t let them fall. “They were, Jeno. Were. But now I can’t tell.” My shuddering voice came out and my words were barely understandable. I turned around sharply to walk away, and instantly the first tear made its way down my cheek. I can’t believe I grew this weak for Jeno.

But after a second thought, I turned back. “You give me the potion to break this one by tomorrow night. That will be the last time I see you.” I wiped off my tear, straightened my back and walked off. Although it seemed like I went away with no regrets nor care for Jeno, my heart was feeling too heavy for my body to bear and the tears were streaming down with no care for the world. I like Jeno, and I still do. But to find out he used a potion on me for his own benefits, I wondered if I was being used. I wondered if I was simply something to fill his void of loneliness. If I was only loving towards him for the sake of it. I had to distance myself from Jeno to sort all this out.

— I’m better than this.

Jeno watched with despair as her figure grew smaller and more out of his reach and disappeared. He knew it would come to this. He knew this exact situation was inevitable the moment he saw the change in her. The falter of her behaviour, the flaws of the love potion. He was thinking about why he never bothered to tell her about the love potion, why he didn’t want to explain it to her in the first place. It wouldn’t be breaking his heart this badly if he told her sooner, right? But then again, with the type of person she was, he knew it would have an impact on him. He wanted to give her an explanation before she walked off, but Jeno’s body and mouth didn’t let him do it for some reason, like it was best for her to leave while he stood rooted to the ground out of his will. “I’ll ask Jisung for the potion breaker...” Jeno whispered to himself. And for the first time in a long time, he broke down in tears, it rushed down his face and he wasn’t sure if his body and heart could even hold up any longer that evening.

That night he asked Jisung to make him the potion breaker. They stayed up till three while Jeno watched him make it. The silence in the dorm kitchen was killing the soul out of Jisung and he hated how Jeno had been piercing his eyes into his back and scrutinising every move he made. Jisung turned around with an angered huff, his forehead creased as lines formed in between his eyebrows. “Can you quit staring at me like that?” Jeno honestly didn’t mean to be this infuriated towards Jisung, especially since Jisung was his favourite youngster amongst the group. He guessed he needed someone to blame for his own actions, to ignore his true feelings And in truth, Jisung was the one that made the love potion which ended up not working effectively. 

Jeno let out a sad sigh and covered his eyes with his palm for a moment before meeting his eyes back to Jisung. “I’m sorry. I just really hate myself right now.” Jeno said, his voice soft and almost weak in a sense. Jisung frowned at the hearing of Jeno’s voice. He knew he was hurting bad, and now he felt bad for lashing out at Jeno. “You’re better than what you did, Jeno.” Jisung whispered softly, turning his attention back to the making of his potion while having his back faced Jeno yet again. Jeno shifted his lips to one side, lifting his body up from the counter behind and walking up to stand beside Jisung with folded arms. “In all honestly...” Jisung began, he took in a deep breath, his chest rising up before exhaling sharply and shaking his head. “I didn’t want to make the love potion because I didn’t remember exactly how to make it in the first place.” Jisung gulped, loud enough for Jeno hear and infer that Jisung was afraid to tell him this, like Jeno would lash out. Instead, Jeno kept silent so Jisung continued. 

“But I felt bad for you. I saw the way you looked at her. I didn’t want you to lose the chance. I’m sorry, Jeno.” Jisung was finally mixing the potion with a glass rod, slowly with a solemn expression. Jeno lets out a breath and snaked his arms around Jisung’s shoulder pulling him closer and patting his chest with his free hand. “It’s fine. You did it out of kindness. I’m the one at fault here for even thinking of using it in the first place.” Jeno said, and his heart was sincere. Jisung hummed and gave him the breaking potion. “Once she drinks it, fix things with her, alright? Give this damn story a happy ending.” Jeno chuckled. “You say as if it’s a novel.” Jisung shurgged. “Kinda is.”

I couldn’t sleep a wink that night. All I thought about was Jeno. When in actuality I planned to forget about him while going home. Funny how I wasn’t able to do something I needed to do. But clearly it’s because I was still in love with Jeno. My mind flashbacked to the times I spent with him, times I wasn’t under the spell of a love potion. My smile, my laughter at his lame but amusing humour. They were real, with or without the potion. Would I look pathetic to went back to him even though he used a love potion on me? Would I look low? Those questions began my spiral down the deep dark hole of my thoughts, and they were travelling to the saddest and worst outcomes I could ever formulate. I really do hate how our minds work sometimes, how we overthink to the farthest end just from one thought. 

Out of pure frustration and inability to sleep, I threw on my hoodie and sweatpants, ready to head for the convenience store to buy cans of beer and drink my thoughts and feelings away. Just when I put my hoodie on the way to the door and placed my hand on the cold doorhandle, the bell rang and I flinced back from the sudden loud ringing. I tiredly let out a sigh and looked through the peephole. My mood didn’t know how to change. Was I relieved to see Jeno standing there nervously with the potion in hand, or angered that I now would not be able to not think of Jeno till I get my can of beer? I pulled down my hoodie more, obscuring my eyes in hopes that I wouldn’t look Jeno in the eye and have myself falling much deeper than I wanted to. I pushed the door handle open and puled the door, Jeno’s figure coming into view. I kept my head down and scratched my tired eyes. “I’m here to give you the potion.” Jeno muttered, hlding it out just slightly away from his body. “I see that.” I snatched it away from him. Just when I wanted to close the dor and end my interaction with him there, his voice made my heart break. 

“Is this really the last time you’ll talk to me?” Jeno’s voice cracked, and I wasn’t sure how the reply. I was feeling a lot of things at once and I hated how I still have yet to untangle the huge ball of it that blocked air into my lungs. “If you know me well enough, I’m a petty person and I’ll give them the silent treatment till I get better.” I slid the potion into the pocket of my hoodie and shoved my hands in there as well. I exhaled with a shrug. “In this case, I don’t know when I’ll feel better. Or I don’t know, trust you again.” I was valid to say that, I thought to myself. I had the right to say it. So why was I feeling something negative spurring in my chest as I let out those words?

“I-” Jeno’s sentence fell sort. He tilted his head up to face the ceiling as if tryign to formulate and answer to say. But in the end he could only drop his head back down and a defeated sigh left his lips. “I’ll wait for you.” Jeno said, as if unable to come up with any better answer in the tense cold air of the night. “Wait? There’s no point in waiting if you don’t earn back my trust.” I replied, and amused tone glinting my words. Jeno gave a sidelong glance before meeting my eyes. God were they soft, pitiful, gentle and loving. “I’ll wait till you get better and sort it out with you. Please just...” Jeno sighed. “I don’t want to let you go, okay?” As much as I hated going back on my own words ad thoughts of defence against Jeno, I bit my lower lip nodded my head. “We’ll see.” 

A long time had passed since I last saw Jeno, or actually talked to him. I did see him very briefly on campus, but I made sure to not serve him even one glance and continued walking though I felt his eyes on me the whole way till I turn a corner. With the bunch of workload I was suddenly given that month, and with the help of coffee, I was able to get myself back on track and focus on my work, slowly going back to who I was-- a hustler with no care for the world other than to get work done. Clearly, Jeno still lingered at the back of my mind, seconds before I want to shut my eyes to sleep. He never left, and I don’t think he ever will. I had nights staying up, just drawing mindless circles while my mind trailed to thinking about Jeno and how he was doing, how he was coping with my loss. Whether he was hurting. I didn’t rule out the possibility that he might not feel anything at all and was putting on a sad front for me. Who knows? I still have yet to trust his feelings for me were real when he used a damn love potion. 

Weeks turned into months and in no time the cold season came, with snow falling in small bits and bringing the freeze into play. One other thing I realised when December came was that my birthday was coming in just few days. One faithful morning I woke up to the doorbell ringing annoyingly loud and repetitively for a couple of cycles while I try to fully wake myself up and lazily walking up to the door. I swung it open and Jaehyun was there to greet me a happy good morning with a small cake in his hand. I laughed and and rubbed my eyes to clear my vision. “Red velvet cheesecake!” I screamed, snatching the cake away from him and running back into my dorm. I placed it on the coffee table and grabbed two spoons from the kichen while I heard Jaehyun walking in and closing the door behind him. Jaehyun sat down on the couch and I sat next to him, handing hi the spoon. 

“Not much. I’m not working so I hope this will do. Can I count this as a Christmas present as well?” Jaehyun said in a joking tone, but it seemed like it was agenuine question. I grinned widely and ruffled his hair. “I don’t need presents at this age for a good Christmas. I just need an outing with you and I’m good.” My smiled widely till my eyes formed thin lines and instantly dig into the cheesecake. I didn’t care to notice thid at first, but the flavours that instantly hit my tongue made me moan in satisfaction. “You got this from my favourite cake shop.” I said, dreamily humming. Jaehyun chuckled and nodded his head, scooping a bite for himself. “We always went there and pretended to be a couple to get free food samples please.” I laughed loudly, the memories of when we first began being friends came to mind. “Ah good times indeed.” 

Jaehyun hummed as if he wanted to say something, so I turned my head to look at him from the cake. “You need to get ready by the way. I’m taking you somewhere for another birthday surprise.” I widened my eyes in anticipation, a smirk forming on my lips while a sly smile formned on his. “Alright. Do i need to dress up to look my best?” Jaehyun shrugged with pursed lips after glancing to the side fo a moment. “Well, yeah. He’s like to see you in your prettiest state.” I raised an eyebrow in suspicion. “He? Who’s he?” Jaehyun raised in shoulders. “I don’t know.” He waved his hand carelessly, as if dismissing my words. “Now go get ready.” I hissed in annoyance but nodded my head excitedly and went to get ready. I wore the cutest outfit I had, proud of how good I looked when I stood in front of my full length mirror. I went out to the living room, seeing Jaehyun already gathering his things to go. He gave me no time as he was already walking on the door and I had to fastened my pace to meet him at his car outside the building. 

Not surprisingly enough, he had me wearing a blindfold in the car. I guess he wanted the location to be a surprise as well. Fear overwhelmed me when the car stopped and I heard Jaehyun leaving the car to open the door on my side for me. I held tight onto his arm and he gently placed his arm around my shoulders to try his best to lead me to the location without having my lose my step or tripping. Together, I took small wary steps and I was completely clueless as to where we were. It’s as if sight has blocked all my other sense from working and my sense of smell wasn’t working either as all I could smell was the freezing cold and nothing else.

Jaehyun places both his hands firmly on my shoulder and abruptly stopping me. I didn’t know where I was and all I could do was stay frozen at where I stood. Jaehyun slowly lets go of me and I heard his footsteps walking away. I turned around frantically, not even caring if I was facing the right direction. “Do I take the damn blindfold off?!” I shouted loudly, hopefully Jaehyun was able to hear. But there was no reply, instead, I almost fall when I tripped behind my foot at the sudden noise of a very familiar chuckle very close to me. I instantly felt the presence of the person right in front of me. He didn’t need to touch me for me to already feel his warmth. He was quick to wrap an arm around my waist expertly. I wasn’t able to move an inch I was that stunned.

— We're better than this.

I felt the fingers of his free hand touch the blindfold, trailing them to the back of my head to pull the tie and release my eyes from the darkness. It took awhile for my eyes to adjust, but once they did, the first thing I saw were Jeno’s eyes. “You’re still as clumsy as I remembered.” Jeno said in a lowered voice. I couldn’t believe he was standing here. For a moment I forgot that I’d be seeing him again. That we’d eventually forget what we had and move on with our lives. I was enveloped into his warmth with my body pressed up against mine. He slid the blindfold into his pocket and placed his palm on my cheek. They were greeted with warmth instantly as well and I forgot the feeling of the cold biting at my skin.

“And you’re still as pretty as the moment I laid my eyes on you when you walked into that café.” Jeno continued. My mouth was frozen and my tongue could not move. Words that I wanted to say remained in my throat as I have yet to fully process his presence right here. “You’re here, on my birthday?” Jeno smiled softly, ever so soft and small. With a downshift of his head he answered, “You told me you’d wish to spend your birthday with me since you only ever had Jaehyun.” I remembered my words very clearly. I didn’t know he’d even take that into account since I myself didn’t exactly found that as an important information at the time.

“If you haven’t noticed, we’re at our place too.” I adverted my attention to my surroundings. Indeed it was. It was my most favourite place that I visited with Jeno. I’ve never seen the park during winter, and it made my heart burst with a longing feeling as I saw just how beautiful the park had become when it welcomed the snow. “Well um I just wanted to say.” Jeno began, and I turned to look at him. I searched his gaze. They never changed. They looked the same the last time I got up close to him. Nothing about him had changed, I now realised. He was still Jeno.

“My birthday present for you is that I’m about to say the three magic words that I have never said in too long of a time because I never believed love was real. And although I still did that last time, it made me realise that these words are worth for someone who decided to stay with me even though they suspected and knew I used it on them.” Jeno brought his face closer, his warm breath breathing against my skin, particularly my lips. He glanced down at it before staring right into my eyes, as if I was the only person in his vision and everything else around us disappeared. I was the only important thing at that moment, and he was as well. His lips brushed him and he whispered, “I love you.” And we shared a kiss.

It was overwhelming, but in the greatest way possible. His lips were soft and slick even in the freezing cold. I wanted the moment to last longer but he pulled away and quickly said, “Was it okay for me to kiss you?” Jeno had a worrying tone. He was still as cautious as ever. I nodded my head. “I missed you. But you have a lot to make up for.” I replied, pulling him closer by gripping his shirt with both my hands. Jeno gave his puppy smile and nodded. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” And I knew for a fact that he’d never break any promises.

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

“Vivienne x Mc, where Mc gets injured and falls unconscious and later Vivienne taking care?“

Pairing with:

Mc x Vivienne - QoT Mc was really close to an explosion during a heist, causing her to permanently loss her hearing. You can include the other members too because I want to see how will they handle future heist when one of their has been injured, how does Vivienne react? Will she let mc continue or not? And how does mc feel? Does she feel she cannot as much as before lost her hearing?

HEY... how do you think Vivienne would deal with a deaf MC? im deaf myself 😳😳 headcanons work if they're easier!

QOT MC gets caught up in the blast from one of Jett’s explosives, and now has severe burns acrros her face and other parts of her body along with slight deafness. Could I get a fic of Vivienne comforting her, and telling her she’s still beautiful? Thanks!

…

Warning: Writer’s first time writing a hard of hearing character.

TW: Panic attacks. Mentions of injury. Mentions of scarring.

Introspection-heavy fic.

…

The explosion was one of Jett’s finest work up to date.

Vivienne could feel it rattle her very bones, even though she was quite a distance away. The building crumbled easily and readily, becoming nothing but a sour-tasting memory. She nodded approvingly, letting out a small sigh in relief. There it went, up in smoke, all the incriminating evidence Benicio had gathered on them. And, as a bonus, most of his fake career.

“Ha! That was amazing!” Jett laughed, his voice bright with happiness, high with adrenaline. The rest of the Poppy soon joined in, albeit in less boisterous chuckles.

Coming down from the building she was in was child’s play. She abandoned Benicio’s unconscious body for the authorities to find, humming to herself as she made her way over to Leon, just barely paying attention to the conversation of the rest of the Poppy.

It doesn’t take long for her to notice that something is wrong. That something is missing.

She balances on top of the balcony she’s on, dread creeping over her body like lead, making her feel sluggish.

“Has anyone heard MC?”

The idle chatter stops. Vivienne can feel the shift in the atmosphere, can practically hear it become tense and chilly.

Amidst the muttered ‘no’ of the rest of the members, Zoe’s voice sounds surprisingly clear, a tinge of panic and worry that makes Vivienne lurch forward, desperate to reach the ground. “I lost her signal. Something must have happened!”

“But Benicio is out cold this time-”

“Nadia backed off, right? She couldn’t have-”

“And there is no way Francesca would-”

“Maybe,” Jett’s voice sounds hesitant, an echo of his usual self. “She got… caught by the explosion.”

Remy scoffs. “There’s no way that could have happened, MC knew the dangers!”

“Keep an eye out for the police, Zoe. We need to look for her,” Nikolai commanded, his voice as cold and hard as steel, immediately cutting through the panicked chatter.

Vivienne lets her teammates handle the distractions to stall the police a bit longer, her mind set only on making sure MC was all right. She hadn’t felt so frightened since everything that happened with Isadora, and she refused to let anything even remotely similar happen again. She couldn’t lose anyone precious to her. She couldn’t. One more person, and her soul would have been shattered beyond repair.

Not to mention, the whole issue with Benicio was her fault in the first place. If MC got hurt… god, if she got hurt…

“Ambulance! Can someone call an ambulance?”

Her head whipped around, eyes wide. There was a man shouting desperately a few meters away, making frantic motions to something behind him. Mouth dry, Vivienne relayed the situation to the rest of the Poppy. Her legs felt like jelly. She wondered if she’d crumble into an unrepairable mess when she got close enough, but no such thing happened. She moved forward as if possessed, dropping to her knees near two bodies. One was a small child, and the other was MC, cradling the child as if she was trying to protect him from the entire world.

They were both unconscious. Vivienne’s eyes trailed MC’s exposed skin, painted an angry red down to its very core, from her left shoulder down to her thigh. Her clothes were ruined, charred beyond recognition, sticking to MC’s body like a second skin. Vivienne’s first instinct is to throw her cape over her, just to cover the burns. Her hands are shaking so bad it proves to be quite the difficult task.

The child MC is holding seems fine, his burns less severe than MC’s, which eases Vivienne’s worry somewhat.

Jett was right. She had been caught up in the explosion.

…

“I had to pull a lot of favors to erase our trail, but at least the police won’t find us for a while. We can lay low while MC recovers.” Zoe informed them, a few nights later, exhaustion sipping from her like water out of a waterfall. Nikolai is in a similar state, sitting near Zoe by the couch, one hand covering his face and the other gripping his knee so tightly his knuckles are almost white.

“And the boy’s father?”

“He’s been trying to locate MC, but I don’t think we should worry about him. As for the boy, he’s much better than MC. His hearing wasn’t as affected, either. She really saved him…”

“Then again, if it hadn’t been for him, MC wouldn’t be like this in the first place.” Vivienne icily mutters, tightening her hold over her glass of wine. Nikolai and Zoe just give her a glance, too tired to pick a fight with her. “If he hadn’t rushed in recklessly-”

“He was scared, Viv.” Remy says, from somewhere in the kitchen. “He wasn’t thinking clearly.”

Vivienne’s scowl deepens. “Yes, but who runs into danger? You’d think the fire alarm would have gotten him to run the other way.”

“Someone who didn’t know there was going to be an explosion, that’s who.”

The seductress growls, a dark expression over her face, bitter frustration raging inside her like a chemical reaction about to explode. It just doesn’t make sense. Everything that boy had done that day was simply moronic, and MC – the angel she was, putting others before herself as she often did – had suffered dearly for it. The burns would leave scarring, no doubt; they had become angry red lines and spots that Vivienne mapped with a careful touch every time she had to apply the ointment the doctor had recommended. She had to watch how MC flinched at the contact, how she bit back a cry of pain, hiding it behind a shuddering smile and glistering brown eyes.

Vivienne couldn’t stop thinking about her expression. About how everything had changed, suddenly and without warning, all because of a boy. She can’t help but think about what Remy says and seethe in anger at the sheer absurdity of the boy’s actions, but she decides to stay quiet. The last thing the team needs is another fight.

Zoe speaks again after a few moments, voice soft.

“How is Jett?”

“He hasn’t left MC’s side,” Vivienne answers, after taking a deep breath. “His guilt is practically eating him alive.”

Zoe gives the couch a mournful, exhausted look, but gets to her feet nonetheless. “I’ll go check on him.”

No one blames Jett.

Ever since she had regained consciousness, MC’s sole focus had been on him. Vivienne didn’t mind. It felt relieving to walk inside her room and find them close, enjoying life, doing Art Club activities or laughing over some funny meme. Or, well, trying to. Jett’s laugh was muted, worried, tinted with sadness and regret; it was a sound that haunted Vivienne wherever she went, something that mirrored her own conflicted feelings. MC’s laugh was restrained and also wistful and a little distant. Sometimes she grimaced in the middle of it, her happiness crumbling in a burning flash of pain that made Vivienne’s heart clench and drop.

But they were trying. They were doing their best.

They would get through this. They all would.

…

Changes are inevitable. MC stands through it all like a stubborn rock holding its ground against a current, taking everything in stride. Vivienne had always found the artist fascinating, a fantastic enigma that Vivienne had foolishly thought she had cracked a long time ago.

MC always surprised her. After everything, Vivienne couldn’t help but feel awed by her. True, the first few weeks were hard, but MC had accepted her condition sooner rather than later, while Vivienne still cautiously danced around it, not sure what to think or feel or do.

MC had lost 65% percent of her hearing due to the explosion. Her left ear was slightly better, only at 50%, but the doctor had warned them she would lose more as the years went by. And while Vivienne had once again thrown herself into a bitter spiral of resentment against the boy, that damned boy, MC had pursed her lips with a determined expression and thrown herself into learning sign language and working around everything.

Everyone had agreed early on that MC couldn’t participate in heists anymore. She’d still be their forger, of course, but she’d stay with Zoe when the heist was underway.

“It’d be too dangerous,” MC had admitted, distractedly playing with the hem of her black jacket. She had this solemn look in her eyes, hollow and heavy with resignation, but it wasn’t defeated. It had this quiet intensity to it, like a volcano about to erupt; no one had dared to say anything as she explained. “I can’t even tell where sounds come from anymore, so I wouldn’t react properly to a threat.”

Vivienne couldn’t really wrap her mind around it. MC had described sounds as muted, fuzzy, distant, as if there was a giant wall of glass between her and the world, and on top of it she was underwater. Sounds simply became a cacophony in the background, nothing for MC to really pick apart. It was disorienting, at first, mostly because Vivienne hadn’t really fully processed everything yet.

Sometimes she would turn towards MC with her usual flair and dramas, all but spinning on the chair of her vanity like the typical movie villain, only to find MC engrossed on her work and not aware at all of the dramatic sigh Vivienne had delivered not two seconds ago. That was, perhaps, the biggest change. It didn’t take long for Vivienne to get used to it, no, but there had been something special in calling MC’s name from across the room and watching her reaction unfurl, be it an amused smirk or a heated stare.

MC carried on, not considering her hearing loss a disability at all. It made things different, but not impossible, something Vivienne had irrationally feared in the beginning. She loved MC and everything that entailed, be it scarring or hearing loss or grumpiness or that annoyingly stubborn personality of hers. There was no in-between, no extremes. There weren’t moments where Vivienne had loved her more or less. One day she had woken up to realize she had fallen hopelessly in love and she had never quite managed to get back up after that.

So these changes? Vivienne would accept them. Welcome them. No matter what.

…

The hearing aids helped. A bit.

MC had put them on, frowned for a second, and then beamed at Vivienne saying: “Oh, I can tell your voice apart from all the sounds now!” And that was it. No magically being able to hear everything again, no magically being able to pick apart the words. There was just a vague tone piercing a muted world, an anchor making lip-reading easier, but nothing else. Zoe had looked. Oh, how had she looked, but that was it. Everyone had accepted that. MC was just happy to her their voices again, however fuzzy they were.

Now, Vivienne could actually come sashaying into the room and call out to MC, and MC would look up and search for her – she still had a hard time telling where the sounds came from – and then roll her eyes with a fond smile at her girlfriend’s antics.

Something Vivienne had discovered about hard of hearing people: they listened. No, really. Somebody else would be distracted by something that happened around them, or would look at their phone or watch or hands or anything else before rejoining the conversation. Small things, really. MC didn’t do those anymore. Her attention was solely focused on whoever was speaking, watching their lips, interpreting their words. Or watching the signs, the body language, everything she could do to figure out what was going on and answer accordingly.

It was only at night that MC confided how difficult and exhausting and frustrating lip-reading was. The Poppy made an effort to sign, they had all gotten quite good at SSE, but sometimes they would go out and encounter somebody that didn’t know how to sign or somebody that wasn’t aware of what had happened to MC. It was all sort of situations, but MC took in stride.

“Baby?” MC’s drowsy voice cut through Vivienne’s thoughts. The pronunciation was a bit off, but charmingly so. MC had been horrified when Zoe commented on it, trying to correct it as soon as possible, but privately Vivienne didn’t really see why she worried so much over it. Her voice was beautiful no matter what. Or maybe Vivienne was just far too whipped. Hm.

She smiled against MC’s skin, feeling the heat of it call out to her like a siren’s song. She shifted a bit, so she could rest her head over MC’s chest, snuggling under the covers. It was a cold night, after all.

“Yes?” She mumbled, internally screaming in joy over the pet name. The vibration of her voice was all MC needed to know she was awake.

“I don’t think I’m up for seeing Jace tomorrow. Think we could reschedule?”

Vivienne hummed, toying with the thought. “I think so.” She finally drew the words on MC’s skin. Her fingers slid over the charred, dry zone that had been burned and she frowned a little, wondering if she should apply more ointment in the morning.

“Great.” MC said, softly. “And… we could… maybe we could watch a movie? There’s a new one that just began airing – I’ll ask Zoe for a subtitled version tomorrow.”

“Lovely.” Vivienne drew back.

“I love you.”

The little heart that was the seductress’ reply tingled in MC’s skin like invisible ink, pure and happy and warm like the first few rays of the sun, something that would linger for many days to come.

…

In the morning, as she had been doing this past month, the first thing she did when she woke up was straddle MC under her.

MC blinked owlishly, staring at her with a soft smile. She let Vivienne move over her, sighing contently at the soft touches from her lover. Vivienne made sure to stay in sight, so MC could see her lips.

With all that done, Vivienne began her worship.

Her hand cupped MC’s cheek, tracing the cheekbone down to the soft angle of her jaw, adoring. Long fingers then glided over her throat, down, down so she could move over her collarbones, one hand to the right, one to the left.

One hand slid over smooth, soft silk, while the other traveled against rough and dry edges carefully. MC’s eyes shifted at that, always hesitant over the marred skin, and Vivienne leaned down to place a kiss just above where the burns had been, as reverently as an astronaut would kiss the ground after months away from the Earth. She hovered there for a few seconds while her hand moved from MC’s shoulder to her side, finally coming to rest over her hip.

“You are beautiful.” She mouthed, leaning back. MC’s eyes flickered to her lips, catching the words, her smile stretching just a little bit more.

Vivienne continued, leaving a trail of kisses over that side, as she often did.

“These tell a story,” she said, and MC listened, brows knitted in concentration. “Of a brave woman that was too caring, and of a silly boy.”

MC starts to shake her head, aware of Vivienne’s resentment, but Vivienne is quick to place a finger over her lips to shush her.

“A silly boy,” she repeated, and for once her voice carried no venom. “That would have had a much difficult condition had that brave woman not intervened. These scars tell a story… and its outcome, filled with obstacles and changes and that one stubborn woman in the center of it all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone more determined in my entire life. But here you are, MC, here you are…”

She shudders with delight, her smile widening even more. One of her hand comes up to rest over Vivienne’s heart, to feel the vibrations of her voice.

“A warrior, an angel. You are the sun my thoughts spin around, always, forever. You came into my life and gave me a reason to become the woman I am today. You are always so optimistic, so breathtakingly beautiful, with you I-” Vivienne cut herself off, remembering to breathe, to pace herself. MC gave her a grateful nod, her expression soft with affection. “With you I feel like I might soar. You’ve taught me so much. You’ve taught me how to be accepting. To accept mistakes. To not run from them. And now, you’ve taught me the importance of not giving up. I admire you, you know?”

Vivienne looked at the scars again.

“The story these tell… It’s awe-inspiring. I’ll look at them every morning and remember how strong you are. Beautiful isn’t perfect skin and perfect hearing. It isn’t daring heists and life on the edge. Beautiful is you, are you are now.”

The kiss they share is gentle, loving, pure.

[untaemedqueen]

Room 732 (M)

Mafia!Jeongguk x Courtesan!Reader

Jeongguk brought to you by The Bird Cage

WordCount: 10k

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Strangers to Lovers!AU

Warnings: Excessive Drinking, Excessive Swearing, Guns, Jeongguk Is Haunted By His Dead Girlfriend, Character Death (Lee), Mafia!Jeongguk, Shy!Jeongguk, Possessive!Jeongguk, Dom!Jeongguk, Sub!Reader,  Jeongguk Is Riddled with Guilt, Praise, Cunnilingus, Orgasm Denial, Fellatio, Throat Fucking, Deep Throating, Begging, Jeongguk Has A Huge Dick, Daddy Kink, Did I Say Possessive? Because Jeongguk Is Possessive As Fuck, Cum Swallowing, Degradation (Cum Slut), Marking, Unprotected Sex, Squirting, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie, Begging

A/N: Can Be Read As A Stand Alone But If You’ve Read TBC. There are fun easter eggs. OKAY. ENJOY.

The mansion was silent on this Wednesday morning. Not a noise to be heard as Jeongguk pads down the right staircase of the large home. His sleep laden eyes drift to the brand new door before yawning loudly. His hand coming up to scratch at his bare tattooed chest as he makes his way through the sitting room. The perfectly white marble countertop of the island gives him a place to lean as he runs his hands through his black hair. He drank way too much yesterday with Taehyung to celebrate the birth of his new son. 

Everyone was finding love around him, starting families and here he was still a bachelor since his girlfriend Lee was murdered. He could sometimes still picture her, her black hair blowing in the breeze in the garden. Or, the way she used to wrinkle her nose at everything, a habit Guk had adopted from her. He sighs to himself before shoving off of the counter as he rounds the island to the liquor cabinet. Sometimes Lee visits him in his dreams, begging him to move on, to experience happiness like the others in his gang. But, how could he? He has this warped mind that only knows how to torture and kill. After she was gone there was no love, no yearning. He smiles, sure, at his nieces and nephews. He finds happiness in others' happiness but never his own.

Jeongguk jumps up on the counter, Johnny Walker in his right hand as Hawon runs into the kitchen. He smirks down at her before putting the bottle of alcohol behind his back. 

"Our Hawon." Her body sways as she does a little dance noticing her uncle. Jeongguk chuckles before hopping down off the island and picking her up. 

"Airplane?! Airplane, Uncle Guk!" Mirae enters not even a second later before sighing as Jeongguk throws Hawon up in the air. Her screech echoes throughout the kitchen as Jeongguk chuckles. See, this is a flint of happiness he obtains through the people around him. He can smile at the way Mirae becomes disheveled with the kids even though she has OCD and hates to be out of perfect form. He can smile at how Hawon is delighted to be with him. And yet, when he's alone the loneliness and anger gnaws at him, as if he has a constant leech on his body. Jeongguk spins around, hands grasping at Hawon's small body before putting her back on the ground. 

"Uncle Guk has to go to work. I'll see you later, hmm? We can watch that Tinkerbell movie." Hawon nods ecstatically at his promise before running out into the garden. 

"Just a ball of energy." Mirae mumbles before chasing Hawon out the kitchen door. Jeongguk smirks before grabbing the whisky and walking out of the kitchen.

The blood tainted towel falls into Guk's lap as he sits down in the wooden chair in his warehouse. The blubbering and shaking of the man in front of him makes him sigh as he kicks the chair back on its hind two legs. His feet coming to rest on the blood stained wooden table in front of him. 

"Just tell me what I want to know." His tone was not to be taken lightly as he shakes his long hair out of his face. Assessing the pained body in front of the table, he tilts his head. 

"I didn't cut your tongue out for you to talk so you'd better do so, or I'll tell my boss you bit it off instead." This is what Jeongguk was best at. Jimin's wife on many occasions has stated that she couldn't believe the cute, tattoo riddled boy in front of her was such a fierce person. But, it's what he is best at. It's all he knows and he's damn good at it. 

"You-I...Ple-Please." The voice was hoarse as if they haven't had water in days. Jeongguk taps his fingers against his leather pants before looking up at the wooden ceiling of his warehouse. 

"Not what I want to hear. I want to hear from your mouth how you got the address." All he needs is a name, that's it. 

"I have nothing else to take from you, Kyung. I took your eyes, your dick, your fingers." The man sobs hopelessly as Jeongguk looks at the blood stained bandage over the top of Kyung's head. 

"Im Junggoo." Jeongguk sighs, his hands covering his face before nodding. 

"Yeah. I was afraid you were going to say that." Jeongguk's body moves gracefully as he jumps out of the chair. He whistles to himself as he pulls his gun out from the back of his waistband. His fingers roll the silencer onto the tip of the gun before sighing as he jumps up onto the table before sitting down crossing his legs. 

"This was fun, Kyung. Let's do it again sometime." He closes one eye, aiming at Kyung's head before pulling the trigger. The body falls, twitching slightly before stilling and Jeongguk can do nothing but set down the gun on the table and watch how the blood begins to pool into the reddened dirt around him. His blood covered hands lean back behind him as he looks up at the ceiling. He was damn good at his job.

"You need to go get some relief of some kind." Jimin tells Jeongguk as he sits at his desk. Jeongguk looks over the rim of his whisky glass before furrowing his eyebrows. 

"What?" 

"Since you've stepped into this room your hands have been shaking, you have bags under your eyes and you can't stop bouncing your knee. You need to get some relief." The older man points at his knee, product of proof right in front of him that has Jeongguk rolling his eyes. 

"I'm fine." Jimin sips his coffee before leaning back in his chair, his crisp white shirt wrinkling as he does so. 

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you." Jeongguk licks at his lips before folding his hands around the whisky glass in his lap. Jimin was the closest person to him since he was young. Jimin helped him find himself, made him who he is today and Jeongguk never takes that for granted. 

"I can't sleep. She comes to see me in my dreams." He tells his best friend as he looks down at the newly purchased Persian rug that replaced the old one after Jimin's wife killed someone in the office. 

"Lee?" Jeongguk nods to his question before downing the rest of his liquor. 

"She always tells me to move on, or be happy. Like that's such a fucking easy thing to do. Like I can't remember what her fucking body looked like when we came home." Jimin swallows thicky before looking up at the ceiling. 

"I get it. Really I do." Jeongguk's chest begins to tighten as he turns his head to look at the stained glass window. 

"It's not like I have a Kitten, like you do that magically transcends me into a different plane of existence and makes me better." Jimin takes a deep breath through his nose as he sets down his coffee. 

"Watch it. Your words are getting reckless." His eyes flicker shut, his heart beating in his ears as he sees Lee painted on the back of his eyelids. 

"I can see her. She's wearing that pink dress that I bought her for Valentine's Day. Her hair was in pretty curls. I can see her smiling at me." Jeongguk chokes on his own spit as his eyes open wide before standing up and walking over to the liquor caddy. 

"Guk." Jimin whispers as the alcohol sloshes into the crystal glass. 

"I'm fine." The lie slips right past his lips as he looks up at the portrait of all the guys behind Jimin's chair. 

"Go see one of Kitten's girls. It might help." A giggle bursts through the room as Jeongguk turns to his older brother. 

"Help? They aren't therapists. They suck cock for a living." Jimin sighs before putting his hand to his forehead. Jeongguk was stubborn, he always has been and probably always will be. 

"Then go see a therapist. You're getting out of control. I saw what you did to Kyung's body. You're lashing out." 

"I was doing my fucking job." Jimin clicks his teeth as the study door opens.

Jimin's wife stands in the doorway, one hand holding their son Minseok as the other rests comfortably on her growing belly. 

"Sorry. He wants daddy." She whispers before looking at Guk. 

"We don't cut people's eyes out." Jimin responds to Jeongguk before standing up and grabbing his son from his wife's arms. 

"I got it, Kitten." She hums before her eyes take in Jeongguk's disheveled body. 

"I was just doing my fucking job. Okay?" He looks over at Jimin's wife before raising his eyebrows as she stares at him. 

"WHAT?!" He screams to her as Jimin sighs gently.

"Jeon Jeongguk-" 

"Easy, Kitten." Jeongguk's head cocks to the side as Jimin rubs at her pregnant belly. 

"Go to a therapist, Guk. I'm not asking." The silence was palpable, eyes glancing here and there from all three people in the room before Minseok whines. How would Jeongguk even be able to process his thoughts? Let alone tell them to some quack who would just nod and ask him how he feels about it? Just give him snarky remarks before writing down a prescription for some soothing meds and telling him his hour is up. "I'd rather get my cock sucked."

Jeongguk stands in front of the Beasley Hotel. His eyes reading the same scripted letters on the facade of the expensive building for the thirteenth time before sighing. Of course, Jimin's wife immediately made an appointment with one of the girls for him. She asked Jeongguk what he liked and he didn't respond to her so she just set him up with someone new. Now, of course, all the girls that worked for her and her partner Hyunah were  incredibly capable. It takes a high standard to get into the Golden Cage. But, he couldn't bring himself to want to go through with the whole ordeal. Lee constantly springs to mind every step he takes. Could he really watch a girl get undressed, suck his dick or do anything to him without feeling guilty? He can't say he could. 

This girl would probably tell Jimin's wife he didn't go through with it and there would be hell to pay. He's getting a million dollar session for free. Jeongguk steps off the curb across the street before walking to the ritzy hotel in front of him. His hand digs into his black skinny jean pocket before producing a folded piece of paper. 

732

Jeongguk takes a deep breath through his nose. Just have to get it over with, right? He steps through the revolving door before entering the hotel. He pockets his tattooed hands as people bustle about in the hotel lobby. He receives a few strange looks, this was not the sort of grandeur hotel that usually has leather clad, tattooed men just waltzing in. His hand reaches behind him making sure to feel the comfort of his gun in his waistband before relaxing. His combat boots make a dull thudding noise against the marble flooring, the sound reverberating in his ears as he approaches the front desk. 

Orchards litter the large stone desk as he leans over it, a girl in a pants suit looks up before raising an eyebrow. 

"Can I help you?" Everything about her was dripping with disdain as Jeongguk cleared his throat. 

"Yeah, I'm here to see a guest in room 732." The front desk agent clicks her teeth before looking over his top half incredulously. This was the usual hotel for Golden Cage clients. 732 was always the room people would go to. It was common knowledge for most people in the hotel to know that a guest for 732 was going to get their rocks off. 

"Mkay." The agent mumbles before picking up the phone and pressing the numbers languidly. Her eyes never leave Jeongguk's face as he looks around the hotel lobby. This place was nice, really nice. Lee would have loved to stay here. See, this is the problem. Everything is Lee. Every waking breath he has he could equate something to his dead girlfriend, for years now. Even when he sleeps, all he sees is her. Whether that be alive, dead, dismembered, you name it he's had a dream of her doing it or being there. He pokes an orchard petal as the agent lets the girl in the room know she has a visitor. His body sways back and forth awkwardly as he looks towards the elevators. 

"You can go up." Jeongguk looks back down at the agent before nodding. "Thanks."

The hallway smells expensive, like lavender and warm vanilla. The chandeliers that hang from the ceiling exude the persona of this place and Jeongguk cannot begin to process how he came to be here. He nods his head to the Lee man who guards the door. 

"Arms up." Jeongguk clears his throat before doing as told. 

"I have a gun and two knives on me." He's courteous at least to tell him. He respects the Lees, they work quick and fast and have never given the Lions a problem. Especially since Yoongi just recently got engaged to Hyunah. The Lee man hums as he pulls the gun out from behind him. Jeongguk reaches down before pulling his knives from his boots and handing them over. 

"Have fun." He says before shoving the door open for him. Jeongguk looks into the room before clearing his throat and stepping inside.

The lights were dim upon entry, white furniture beckons him forward as he looks around the room. 

"Hello?" His voice was timid as he stepped towards the bed. The gold headboard catches his attention before turning to a noise in the bathroom. 

"Hello." There you stood, a grey satin robe covering your almost naked body as you take the tall man into your sights. Jeongguk runs his fingers through his long black hair, his eyes looking over your body before looking away as if it was inappropriate. He shifts awkwardly on one foot to the other, there was something cute about it. The tall, muscular man was seemingly nervous in your presence. You smile warmly as you walk past him, his muscles tensing as your satin robe brushes against his leather jacket. 

You sit on the bed, legs crossing as you lean back on your hands. The robe inches up, your bare thighs coming into view for his eyes as he pockets his hands. 

"You can sit. You know." Jeongguk opens his mouth before giving a small laugh. 

"Yeah." You pat the spot next to you and he slowly makes his way over. He sits on the edge, his butt barely connecting with the mattress as his shoulders tense up. He stares straight ahead at the black television screen. You lazily take in his features, big doe eyes and a perfect nose. Nice pink lips and a killer jawline grace your sight as you sit up. 

"I'm Y/N." Jeongguk turns to you before bowing his head. 

"Jeongguk." You hum to him before watching how his knee bounces in anxiousness. Why did your boss tell you to give him the plus treatment if he seems like he doesn't want to be here? 

"Drink?" You ask pointing at the liquor cabinet. Jeongguk takes his hands out of his pockets only to place them on his knees, his fingertips digging into the fabric of his jeans before nodding. 

"Sure!" He springs up before crossing the expanse of the room. 

Jeongguk takes a deep breath before opening the liquor cabinet. 

"Are you a virgin?" You ask as he pours two glasses of whisky. He chuckles, a sound that blesses your ears as you tilt your head. 

"No. I'm not a virgin." He turns back around to you, his black hair falling into his eyes as he smiles. He has a pretty smile, something about it makes you feel warm. Like nothing bad could happen when it was around. You find yourself smiling back as he hands you the glass. 

"You can take your jacket off, you know. I'm not going to immediately jump your bones, unless you're into that." He snorts, a simple exhale through his nose before shrugging off his leather jacket and throwing it onto the bed. 

"Good." You say before taking a sip of the whisky. The warm liquor soothes you, a fire producing in your belly as Jeongguk side eyes you. You were beautiful, he expected as much. Jimin's wife wasn't in the business of hiring ugly women. His gaze flickers to your bare thighs once more before looking anywhere else. You catch this within a second, and notice the discomfort he begins to feel. His body turning away from you out of instinct. 

You feel pity for him, something clearly isn't right with this situation he has been brought into. You grab at the duvet cover of the bed before throwing it over your legs. 

"Better?" You ask quietly as Jeongguk notices your movement. He looks back over at you, his doe eyes widening further. 

"I'm sorry. I must be being rude." You shake your head at his statement before giving him a smile. 

"It's okay if you don't want to do anything. I understand." He makes a noise in the back of his throat that you can't decipher before turning to you. You seemed like an understanding person. You didn't strike him as a courtesan to say the least. 

"I want to. But, I can't. My brain won't let me." He taps his index finger against his temple before taking a large gulp of the whisky. His teeth grit, neck veins fluttering as he swallows the whisky. You can sense his nervousness and it really doesn't look good on this handsome man. 

"I'll be right back." You whisper before standing up and heading for the bathroom.

"I fucked up." Jeongguk whispers before closing his eyes, he could see her. He could see Lee plain as day. She was frowning, her long black hair strewn over her shoulder as she folded her arms. Jeongguk couldn't move on, he was trapped in this miserable mindset. He wasn't even sure what it would be like to not see Lee or think of Lee at every given moment. It would probably terrify him. The bathroom door opens and you emerge in a long mocha brown sweater, black leggings shield your thighs as you smile at Guk. 

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to make you embarrassed or anything, I-" You cut him off with the shake of your head. 

"It's alright, you didn't offend me. Takes a lot more than that to make me offended." Jeongguk nods, his shoulders relaxing slightly as you jump on the bed. Your back connects to the gold headboard as you grab your glass. 

"Might be nice to not get fucked for once." He laughs gently before turning his body to you, the way his eyes crinkle makes your heart skip a beat. He's way too handsome. His hand pushes his hair behind his pierced ear before taking a sip of his drink. 

"You can have a drink and just chill out. Or, I can leave if you want." You suggest pointing your manicured finger at the door. Jeongguk is quick to shake his head, 

"No, no. Don't go. It's nice to just...just be able to sit and drink." He wholeheartedly means it. You felt comfortable to him. Nothing about this experience felt weird or strange which was a blessing in and of itself. Jeongguk scratches at the back of his neck and you catch the branding iron you've seen a few times before with a few clients. 

"You're a Lion." Jeongguk puts his hand down before giving you a small smile. 

"Yeah. I am. I'm one of the original seven." You hum before sitting up and putting your hand under your cheek. "I heard that you guys defile women and torture men." Jeongguk gives a carefree laugh as he fully turns to you. 

"Clearly that isn't the case. I made you go put your clothes on." You giggle before sipping the whisky and tapping your fingers to your temple. His smile doesn't fade as his warm brown eyes gaze upon your face. 

"I'm sorry your boss made you take me on as a client. I'm sure it's a waste of time." 

"You're not a waste of time. Don't say that. You're actually nice, compared to most people that enter this room." Jeongguk tilts his head before sucking air through his teeth. 

"I'll kill them if you want me to. The people that aren't nice to you." His eyes gleam with playfulness as you kick back your body before giggling. 

"Is that your way of flirting?" He takes a sip, the corners of his mouth quirked upwards as he stares at you. 

"So why are you here anyway? You said my boss made me take you on. Why?" Jeongguk clears his throat as he kicks off his combat boots before sitting cross legged on the bed. Now, he's uncomfortable. He looks past you to the pearlescent night stand as he puffs out his cheeks. 

"Because I, uh, can't function. My boss says I'm getting reckless." You hum as if you have any idea what he's talking about. After the hour you've been talking and drinking, you've kind of just assumed he's an enigma. He only answers what he wants to, he looks away at any given chance to not feel something. He seems like he doesn't want to feel. You wouldn't push him, it isn't your place. And yet, there's something about him that just makes you want to give him a hug. He seems so sad. You want to make him smile and laugh, he seems like he deserves that. 

"So they thought that you getting your dick sucked would make you better?" He laughs before looking down at his lap. 

"I think so." You sigh before sitting up and putting your hand on his knee. He stiffens, his eyes look up at you before relaxing his muscles. 

"Don't worry. I'm here to talk to you, if you want. I know my main job is to spread my legs for people but I'm a good listener." Jeongguk is quick to defend your honor to yourself. 

"Don't say that. Your main job is irrelevant to me. I'm happy I could sit here and just bullshit with you for hours. I feel kinda better than before." Your smile brings one to his own face. 

"Good. I'm glad." A knock comes at the door and you both turn your heads to the noise. 

"Time." You hear through the door and you sigh before standing up. 

"That's my cue." Jeongguk opens his mouth before nodding. For the first time in forever, he wants more time. He mentally chides himself, he spent so much time looking away and not answering that he didn't even get a real chance to speak with you. He regrets that. 

"Jeongguk. Hopefully I'll see you around." You say as you grab your bag from the bathroom. 

"Me too! Thanks, Y/N." You give him that warm smile he's suddenly become fond of before leaving the room. The Lee man enters before handing Jeongguk his weaponry and bowing his head. Jeongguk lays down on the bed before closing his eyes. Lee was like a faded print behind his eyelids.

"How was she?" Jimin asks as they sit down for the meeting. Jeongguk smirks before putting his gun on the table. 

"Really nice." Jimin raises an eyebrow before folding his arms. 

"How do you know she's really nice if she had her mouth on your cock?" Jeongguk scoffs before matching his best friend's actions with folding his own arms. 

"Don't talk about her like that. She didn't need to suck my cock for me to know she's nice." Jimin's expression softens at Jeongguk's murmur. 

"Did you dream of Lee last night?" His question is point blank as the others file into the room. 

"Briefly." She had come and gone, Jeongguk for the first time in a long time didn't wake up drenched in sweat. He didn't feel compelled to tell Jimin every single detail of last night but there was one sentence that had Jimin bursting at the seams to know more. "I'd like to see her again."

Jeongguk walks down the hotel hallway, his gun and knives already in hand before handing them to the Lee man standing at the door. 

"Enjoy." Jeongguk has come to know the Lee man as Junkwon, he was nice and always escorted you. Junkwon opens the door, the lights are dim yet again. 

"Hey." Jeongguk sounds breathless as you sit in the chair by the large window, your body covered in just a beige lace bra with matching panties. You look up before covering your legs with a gasp. 

"Jeongguk! They didn't tell me it was you. I'm sorry." You say quickly grabbing your robe. Jeongguk has become really fond of this, fond of how considerate you are. How comfortable you make him feel when you're around just being yourself. 

"Don't worry." He says as you stand up. His eyes drink you in, your skin looking soft as butter in the dim lighting. 

"Let me go change." Jeongguk hums to you before licking his lips. He wasn't nervous or afraid to look at you, he didn't hate himself for it. Because, it was you. You rush off to the bathroom as Jeongguk walks over to the liquor cabinet. His eyes flutter closed and for once his eyelids were just black. No Lee. No smile. No frown. Nothing. He stumbles backwards as he gasps before his eyes open wide. 

"Lee?" He calls gently before closing his eyes again. There was nothing. And, this is what he was most afraid of. His tattooed hand grasps the wooden counter of the bar before choking on his own spit. 

"Jeongguk? You okay?" You ask as his legs shake. 

"She-I...I don't-'' He shuts his eyes once more before a ball begins to form in his throat, it's form ever expanding as his knuckles turn white from clasping the table so hard. 

"She left me." He whispers before opening his eyes and looking at you. 

"Hey." You whisper calmly to him, your feet taking ginger steps towards him as he whimpers. 

"She left me!" There was a small sob before a large one. His innocent eyes glossing over with tears as he grabs at his black t-shirt above his heart. 

"Jeongguk. Sit down." You say putting your hand on his arm gently. He rips his arm away from your grasp before faltering as he knocks the whisky bottle onto the floor. 

"Hey!" The concern in your voice reaches his ears as he falls into the seat you were previously sat in. His eyes were like a wild animals, flitting here and there while trying to grasp onto a thought. 

"Jeongguk. Do you need me to call my boss?" Jeongguk gasps as he leans back in his seat. 

"Don't! Don't do that." You could see his hairline beginning to sweat as you crouch down in front of him. 

"I think you're having a panic attack. Just take a deep breath. In through your nose and out through your mouth." You've had a few panic attacks in your time. It wasn't always cushy like it is now to work in this industry. 

Jeongguk takes a deep breath, his body visibly shaking as he stares down at you. 

“Just focus on something, let your mind begin to process.” You whisper running your thumb comfortingly over his bare knee through the cuts in his jeans. Jeongguk groans as he feels dizziness encumbering his mind, but he couldn’t close his eyes for fear that she wouldn’t be there. His eyes fall to your hand on his knee, he focuses on how soothing your thumb feels. How soft and delicate the touch you’re giving him is. You give him a small smile, eyebrows still knit with concern as he looks back up at you. 

“What color is my shirt?” You ask him quietly before pulling at the fabric. 

“Purple.” He whispers before taking a deep breath into his lungs as if his body was finally allowing him to breathe again. 

“Good.” Then there was silence for a while besides Guk’s heavy breathing. That was alright with you, as long as he felt better. He has only come three times before this and each time he came things were slowly becoming more relaxing. 

You would talk for long hours, sipping on whatever alcohol you decided on at the start of the session. You would laugh with each other, listen to how Jeongguk’s day went. You told him things you enjoy too like the beach and going to the seaside to fish with your dad. He told you about his nieces and nephews last time and it warmed your heart to see him smiling so widely when he talked about them. He was always happy talking about others but never about himself, you noticed. He never mentioned women or anything of that nature and that was okay with you too. Everything was very relaxing when you were with each other, like nothing else even mattered outside of this hotel room. Jeongguk flexes his fingers realizing they were numb only seconds ago. 

“I-I’m sorry.” He mumbles before putting his hands over his face, his palms becoming drenched in sweat as he leans back into the chair. 

“Nothing to apologize for.” His fast beating heart begins to slow as he lets out an exhale. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask gently before standing up. Jeongguk looks up at you as he moves his hands away before clearing his throat. 

“Sit on my lap.” He whispers and you gasp gently. 

“What?” He’s never asked something like this before. 

“Sit on me.” You look at him hesitantly before slowly sitting down on his thick thighs. His strong arms wrap around your figure, his arms interlocking with each other as he lets out a slow breath. You sit still, eyeing him wearily as he looks up at you nervously. 

“Okay.” He mumbles before slowly closing his eyes. The back of his eyelids were still black. He sighs deflated before letting you go. 

“You can get up.” You stand up off of him before tilting your head. 

“I have to go.” He whispers before standing, his eyes don’t look towards you again as he rushes to the door. “Jeongguk!” He was gone.

He had you sit on him to see if Lee would come back, but she didn’t that night. He went to sleep without a single dream. His unconscious mind reveling in the back wasteland of dreamspace. But, she did come back when he was black out drunk. He would have conversations with her as he lay sloped up against the wall of his room. 

“Don’t fucking l-look at me like that, babe.” He slurs to Lee as she sits in the chair across from his bed. 

“Koo, you have to let me go.” Jeongguk laughs loudly, the whisky in the bottle he holds sloshes around as he shakes. 

“Let you go?! You left me!” Lee sits silently, hands on her knees as her black hair falls in rivets over her shoulder. 

“I didn’t choose to leave you.” Jeongguk scoffs before gulping down the alcohol. 

“I’m not talking about when you fucking died, baby. I’m talking about when I went to see Y/N.” Lee’s lips press into a hard line as she leans back in the armchair. 

“Because you don’t need me when Y/N is there. She can take good care of you.” 

“YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT KNOWING WHAT I NEED?!” Jeongguk’s voice is a sharp, loud cry as he widens his drunken eyes at his dead girlfriend. He scoffs before holding the liquor bottle close to his body as he folds his legs underneath him. There was a quick knock at his door before the door went flying open. 

“What’re you screaming about at three o’clock in the morning?” Hoseok asks his younger brother before noticing just how drunk Jeongguk is. The way his body is slumped over against his headboard, black hair in his eyes so he could barely see. 

“Guk.” Hoseok mutters before stepping inside and shutting the door so as to not disturb anyone. Jeongguk didn’t realize he was crying until now, tears rolled off his jawline before leaving dark wet spots on his light grey sweatpants. Hoseok takes a seat where Lee was just sitting before looking at the drunk younger man. 

“She fucking left me. Y’know? I go see Y/N, what, four fucking times and Lee just abandons me.” Hoseok gives a gentle sigh before running his hands through his hair. 

“Maybe she left you because that’s healthy and you need healthiness.” Jeongguk laughs before taking another swig of whisky. 

“That’s what she said.” He mumbles, his tone warped with pain as he slams his head into the iron bed frame. Hoseok leans forward before grabbing the bottle of liquor and putting it on the floor. 

“This isn’t healthy. You’re a mess. If it helped you so much to see Y/N, you should go back and see her.” You probably hate him after seeing him at his weakest. 

“No. I don’t want to see her again.” He was afraid, afraid to be at such peace with you. Afraid to be able to smile.

Jeongguk sits at the meeting table. His feet up on the table as Jimin’s wife slaps him upside the head. 

“Just bought the table, feet down.” She mumbles before pulling on her cigarette. He mutters an apology her way as the rest of the guys enter the metal room. Namjoon enters with a cheery smile, his dimples deep as he pulls his gun out before presenting it on the table. 

“Oh! Jaebeom went to go see Y/N, thanks for the suggestion.” Jeongguk takes a deep breath before taking his feel off the table and staring at the t.v. screen above him. 

“She’s pretty, no?” Jimin’s wife asks as Jeongguk’s knee begins to bounce. 

“That’s what he says. He also says, she has a nice mouth for sucking cock.” 

“Stop it.” Jeongguk mumbles loud enough for Namjoon to hear drawing his attention to the younger member. Was this jealousy burning through his veins at a quick pace? He wasn’t even sure what the emotion was that filled him, but anger accompanied it. If it wasn’t for the black tattoos on his neck, it would surely be beet red. 

“You went to see her too, right Guk?! Man, I’m fucking telling you, Jae says those tits she has-” Jeongguk pulls his gun out of the back of his pants before aiming it at his older brother. 

“I said stop. Don’t fucking talk about her!” 

“WHOA!” Jimin yells upon entering as Namjoon holds his hands up, backing his chair up into the corner of the room. 

“Don’t fucking go tell anyone to see her! Tell him don’t look at her! Don’t touch her! Don’t you dare!” Jeongguk yells as he cocks the gun. 

“Easy, Guk. Easy.” Jimin whispers before stepping in front of Jeongguk’s gun. 

“Just because it’s her job doesn’t mean she likes it. When she was younger, she wanted to be a painter but no one would accept her into their colleges. Do you know that? She likes to go to the beach to feel the sand between her toes because it keeps her grounded. And, you have the fucking audacity to talk about her fucking dick sucking skills?! She isn’t someone you can easily talk about like this! She’s a fucking person! With feelings! She was there for me when I had a fucking panic attack. She took care of me. Don’t fucking talk about her!” Jimin slowly waves his hands as Jeongguk begins to foam at the sides of his mouth. 

“Alright. Jaebeom or anyone else here won’t go and see her. You have my word. Put the gun down.” Jimin was being gentle with him, Jeongguk recognizes his tone of voice as his wife rubs at Guk’s upper back. Jeongguk uncocks the gun before clearing his throat and leaving the room without another word. 

Jeongguk stares at the bloody dirt of his warehouse, for once his warehouse was empty. It was dead quiet, you could hear a pin drop. He had left the mansion for a few days, just sleeping in the back of his car while he stayed out here. His mind was fucking him over, this much was certain. He left you in that hotel room and he felt guilty about it. He also felt guilty about feeling the need to have Lee around him when she wasn’t even on this plane of existence anymore. More than anything, he can’t help but think about your smile. How warm it is, how comforting it feels to have his eyes on you smiling widely. He remembers how soft your skin looks, how he would have been okay with you staying in that little amount of clothing before his panic attack. He remembers how soothing your thumb was on his skin. Jeongguk sighs before looking up at the wooden rafters of the ceiling. 

“Koo.” His breathing stops as he closes his eyes. 

“Lee.” 

“Why don’t you go and see her?” Jeongguk’s eyes begin to burn, he sniffles before pulling up his black hood and looking at his dead girlfriend. 

“I can’t.” A broken sob rips through his chest as he hangs his head low. 

“She probably misses you, you can’t be locked up in your own head anymore. I’m gone.” Jeongguk wails loudly putting his hands over his face. 

“I know. I’m just so afraid for you to leave.” 

“I’ll always be with you, in your heart. In your memories. But, it’s time to move on. You like her, I know you do. It’s okay to like someone else that isn’t me, Koo.” He scoffs as he pulls down his sleeves to make sweater paws. His sleeves meet his eyes as he sobs. 

“She probably fucking hates me. I left her there all alone.” 

“Look at me.” Jeongguk timidly lifts his head, his hands pushing his hair out of the way as he sniffles. Lee was in front of the table looking down at him.

“You deserve to be happy, Koo. You deserve to smile. You deserve to feel no awkwardness or fear.” He whimpers at Lee’s words as his bottom lip quivers. 

“Go and be happy. She makes you feel better.” 

“What am I going to do without you?” He asks, his voice cracking as he holds his arms out to her. 

“You’re going to smile.”  In an instant, she was gone. Lee’s form fades away in a sudden breeze that chills Jeongguk to the bone. He shivers before closing his eyes and swallowing. She wasn’t there either. 

“Lee?!” No answer but the sounds of birds chirping outside the warehouse. Jeongguk buries his face in his lap before taking a deep breath. Lee left him, after all these years. She just disappeared, to prove that Jeongguk didn’t need her anymore. He didn’t need to depend on her when you were around. He smiled and laughed, he felt relief. Felt at home. He clears his throat before pulling out his almost dead cell phone from his back pocket. He scrolls through his contacts before putting his forehead to the lip of the table as the phone rings. “Jina. Is Y/N working?”

Jeongguk steps out of the elevator on the seventh floor before looking down at Junkwon. 

“She’s with someone.” He tells Jeongguk as he walks towards 732. 

“Open the door.” His voice is brisk as he stares at the three gold numbers that hang on the door. He could hear moaning inside the room before cracking his neck. 

“I can’t Jeongguk, I’m sorry.” Jeongguk sighs before pulling out his wallet and pulling out a few hundred bucks. 

“Go away.” 

“You can’t just-” Jeongguk shoves the money into Junkwon’s semi-open hand before pulling out his gun. 

“Go away.” Junkwon counts the money before sighing and walking down the hallway. 

“Don’t hurt her.” Junkwon calls to Guk as he rings for the elevator. 

“Never.” Jeongguk shoves the door open. He takes you into his sights, you were on your knees jerking off some random guy. You looked bored and unamused before looking over and gasping. Jeongguk points his gun to the guy. 

“Get out.” “Jeongguk!” Jeongguk walks over, cocking his gun before grabbing your robe and throwing it at you. 

“You heard me? Get out.” The man scoffs before standing up and pulling up his boxers. 

“Hey man! I paid a lot of money for this!” You haphazardly put the robe on before stepping away from your client. 

“Jina will pay you back. Get out. I’m asking nicely.” You look up at Jeongguk, his black hair is fixed behind his ears. His domineering persona was something you’ve never seen before and you can’t say it didn’t intrigue you as you lean against the wooden table. 

“Okay! Okay! I’m going. Shit.” Jeongguk watches as the man fumbles to get his pants up from around his ankles. His eyebrow raises as the guy looks at you before stepping in front of your small figure. 

“Don’t fucking look at her. Get out. Now.” The man grabs his dress shirt before running out the hotel room door and slamming it behind him. Jeongguk uncocks his gun before putting it in the back of his pants. 

“Hi?” You say before sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

“Hi.” Jeongguk whispers before sitting down next to you. You sigh before looking at him out of the corner of your eye, taking in the way his black hoodie was two times too big for him. It was endearing. 

“Feel better?” You ask quietly as Jeongguk closes his eyes. 

“I do now.” You hum playfully before laying back on the bed. 

“That was hot.” You tell him as he turns towards you. He snorts before laying down beside you. 

“What was hot?” 

“Defending my honor like I don’t do this for a living.” Jeongguk chuckles openly before turning on his side to look at you. His warm brown eyes bore into yours before fingering at the white duvet cover. 

“I’m sorry I left that day.” How could you hold a grudge against him when he looks like this. His big doe eyes gazing into yours only shows how guilty he actually feels about it. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

“Yes, I do.” His answer surprises you, he normally says no or looks away quite quickly. 

“Oh! Okay! Let me put some clothes on!” You go to sit up and Jeongguk’s arm cages you down onto the bed. 

“No, stay.” You take a deep inhale before turning on your side to face him. “Alright.”

Jeongguk gives you a small smile, the corners of his mouth quirk up as he stares at you. 

“You’re very beautiful.” Your cheeks heat up pink at his compliment, he's always looked at you like you were pretty but he's never said a thing before. 

"Thank you. You too." Jeongguk chuckles before laying his head down on the pillow. He clears his throat before taking off his sweater and throwing it elsewhere. His white tank top reveals all of his tattoos up to his chest and you can't help but look at the tasteful designs he has printed on himself. They look great on his honey colored skin. 

"I don't want to keep running away from you anymore. I like you. I just have some...undealt with issues." He takes some time before completing his sentence but you stay quiet as if to tell him to keep going if he chooses to do so. 

"Do you like me?" He asks, tilting his head into the pillow. 

"I do." You tell him honestly, making him smile. 

"Okay, good." You giggle at his beaming smile before he looks off past you. 

"Don't get...I don't know weirded out when I tell you my story." You nod to him before putting your arm under the pillow getting comfortable. He was different now, he was uncertain, sure. But, he was nervous or anxious to look at you. He wasn't fidgety and making himself uncomfortable, he was just him. And, it's really nice to see that. 

"Years ago I had a girlfriend-" Jeongguk clears his throat before sitting up suddenly, "-her name was Lee. I loved her, a lot. She was the first person I fell in love with. Um…" He looks down at his legs as he rubs his hands over his sweatpants. You put your hand on his knee before sitting up, your head tilts to the side as you watch him struggle to swallow. 

"Fuck. Fuck! Sorry." You shake your head as he takes a deep breath. 

"So, yeah, I loved her and she lived in the house I live in with my crew. One day I came home and called out for her and she wasn't answering me. Me and my boss, Jimin, he's been my best friend since we were younger. We ran upstairs and there were little drops of blood on the floor." You close your eyes as Jeongguk clears his throat again before squinting. 

"She was dead. In our room. Another gang had killed her and did stuff to her body." You put your hand over your mouth as he struggles to go on. 

"That was a long time ago, but she stayed with me. Like, a ghost. I would see her every night in my dreams and when I closed my eyes. She was always there. And, it started to get out of hand. I was drinking a lot and I was very angry. Guilty. I was so guilty. Y'know? What if I got home just ten minutes or twenty minutes before I did. What would have happened? It ate me alive, then I would see her and feel this fucking weight pushing down my goddamn chest every second of the fucking day. Everyone around me was getting married and falling in love and I was stuck in this sick little fucking sand glass that kept flipping over when the last piece of sand was about to fall." Jeongguk sighs loudly before looking at you, his hand grabs your wrist before pulling it away from your eyes. 

"But, then. I met you. And, I really liked you because you made me feel comfortable and I didn't feel like this anxious wreck anymore. But, I got scared because before you Lee was painted on the back of my eyelids every second of the day. After I met you she started to fade. Then she left me completely, that was the day I had the panic attack. I felt frightened because she wasn't with me anymore and I-I was so used to it that it made me terrified. I felt guilty that I pushed her away or something. But, I felt even more guilty that I might have pushed you away. That I fucked up my chance for you to like me when I left you that day. Lee was a big part of me that left because you made me feel safe. You make me feel comfortable. And I-I really l-like you. I want to get to know you and not have to feel guilty or worried anymore. I just want to be able to be myself and smile again. You make me smile." 

Jeongguk presses his lips together after he's done talking and he notices how glossy your eyes have become during his talk. You nod to him before giving him a small smile. You lean forward before enveloping him in a hug, he feels his body relax and he didn't even know that he was tense. His arms snake around you before hugging you back. You could feel how fast his heart is beating through his chest as he holds you tightly. 

"You make me smile, too." Warmth starts to seep through him, starting at his heart and spreading through his limbs as he holds you close. Jeongguk pulls back before brushing some stray wisps of hair behind your ear. 

"I'm going to kiss you." You nod at his chivalry before closing your eyes. He takes this moment to look over your features, how soft and angelic you look in this lighting. He thumbs his finger over your bottom lip before leaning in and kissing you slowly.

His kiss was soft and sensual. A small jolt of electricity runs through you as he places one hand to the back of your neck. You would never have assumed this drop dead handsome man could kiss like this. His tongue licks over your bottom lip and it produces a fire in your belly. 

A gasp emits from you, mouth opening as your nerve endings tingle. Jeongguk takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. His tongue, tasting and caressing every inch of you before mingling your tongue with him. His hand pulls you closer, his instinct to have you close makes you mewl as you grab onto his tattooed arms. He pulls away, only to take large breaths to fill his lungs before diving back in. His hands find your hips before flipping you onto him. 

His back hits the mattress with a thud as you lean down to smother him with more kisses. His large hands trail downward. The feel of satin wraps him in a cloud of pure pleasure as his hands come to rest on your ass cheeks. He groans into your mouth and the sound is so intoxicating that you feel your core seeping with liquid pleasure. 

"You're so fucking gorgeous." He whispers as you kiss down his neck, your teeth gently biting at his smooth skin. Jeongguk's hips buck upwards as his eyes close. Behind his eyes all he can see is you, the image of you above him is a welcome sight photographed onto the back of his lids. You tug at his shirt and it brings him back to reality as he opens his eyes. He sits up only to tug off the white article of clothing. Your eyes marvel at his tattooed chest, the way the planes of his eight pack highlight each tattoo perfectly. Jeongguk grabs at the robe belt before pulling it undone. He takes a sharp inhale of breath before looking up at your eyes. 

"Are you sure?" You ask quickly, his blown out pupils shake as he chuckles. "Kiss me, baby." 

You can do nothing but oblige as his hands begin to trail over your bare thighs. His fingertips knead at your skin as he sits up. You wrap your legs around his waist before feeling how hard he is underneath you. A gentle mewl leaves your lips as he kisses down your neck with heated fervor. 

"Feel how hard my cock is for you?" Your arms wrap around his neck as your head lolls back. Jeongguk playfully nips at your bust line before groaning as you thrust your hips to his. 

"I'm going to cum in my pants if you keep doing that." 

"You feel so hard." Jeongguk smiles against your skin before kissing at your cheek. 

"All for you, baby." This was serious whiplash. You could never have expected this. Jeongguk flips you over with ease, his thick thighs pining you underneath him as his lips lazily traipse down your chest. 

His hand snakes underneath you before taking a moment to unhook your bra. It was clumsy but he was determined to do it with one hand. 

"It's been a while." His admission makes you giggle as he finally unhooks your bra. Jeongguk groans as he throws your bra onto the floor. Your nipples become stiff at his longing stare. 

"Fuck." His warm lips envelope one, his tongue flicking at the sensitive skin as you whimper out his name. Something possessive flits across his gaze as he stares up at you. His fingers trail your thighs before swiping up your soaked panties. You could feel how they stick to you, almost embarrassing soaked. 

"Say that again, baby. Say my name again." He rubs your clit through your underwear. The silken fabric feels amazing against your sensitive nub as you moan out. 

"Jeongguk." He hums before bending down and pecking your lips. 

"That's right. That's who you belong to now. And, I don't share." Is he telling you to quit your job? You don't have much time to dwell on it, though as his fingers hook into the sides of your panties before peeling them off of you. The cool air of the room berates your sodden cunt as your skin produces goosebumps. 

"Look how wet you are, baby. Soaked." His voice is that of wonder as he spreads your legs wide. His tongue licks at his lips as if he's seen a feast in a great banquet. 

"Please." You whimper as he bows his body down. 

"What do you want?" His lips kiss at your pubic bone, teasingly slow kisses litter your skin and upper thighs as he intertwines both of your hands locking them to your sides. 

"I want you to touch me." Jeongguk looks up at you, his black hair beginning to stick to his forehead as he smirks. 

"Want me to touch you like everyone else that comes in this room? You think you deserve it, baby?" You wiggle your hips, trying to thrust them towards him. 

Your cunt was aching, a dull pounding reverberates through your lower half as you bite your bottom lip. "Your pussy is soaked and I haven't even started. What does that say about you?" You gasp as he kisses your clit. 

"Jaebeom was in this room not too long ago. You remember him? He touched your pretty little pussy I bet. You think you deserve my touch?" Jeongguk gives a flat swipe with his tongue to your pussy, your body sags into the bed as he pulls away. 

"Fuck, you taste good." 

"I'll be good! Please!" Jeongguk chuckles before suckling at your pussy lips. 

"Please, Daddy." His tongue gives two quick licks to your clit before blowing on your pussy. Your cunt quivers and throbs as the ache begins to drive you insane. 

"Please, Daddy! Please!" Your hands are squeezing his so tightly, he wonders where you get the strength from for it. "Good girl." 

His lips suckle at your clit, his teeth rake gently against the sensitive nub as you moan loudly for him. He hums in agreement as you lift your hips to buck up into him wanting to feel more. He lets your hands go only to push your hips back down into the bed. 

"You taste fucking good, baby girl." He relishes in how fucked out you look already and he hasn't even made you cum yet. He was good at this sort of thing, this sexual torture. He revels in it. 

"Fuck!" Jeongguk smirks before teasing your entrance. His finger slowly enters you as your head falls back. 

"Nuh uh. Watch me. Watch me eat your pussy so well." You whimper, fingers gripping at his black hair as he curls his finger inside of you. 

"Jeongguk!" He likes when you call his name so he takes pity on you and adds a second finger. Your walls begin to flutter, your orgasm approaching at a high speed. 

"I-I'm gonna cum!" He pulls away as you whine out. 

"Tell me what you're mine and that you won't share and I'll let you cum." 

"What?!" You pull at his head but he doesn't budge. 

"Tell Daddy that you're his and his only." He enters his two fingers into you again. Slowly pumping them in as your clit throbs. 

"Daddy, please! I w-want to cum!" Jeongguk hums before spitting on your pussy. 

"That's not what I want to hear." You keen for him as he soothes your clit with a gentle suckle. 

"I'm yours, Daddy! Yours only." Jeongguk sits up before looking at you with passive eyes.

"Yeah, you are and you better remember that, baby girl." You moan loudly as he begins to flick quickly at your clit. His fingers fucking into you so fast it almost knocks the wind out of your lungs. His fingers curl, finding that one spot inside of you that has you melting into the bed. Your orgasm comes back and full throttle as you whinge. 

"Daddy, please! I'm going to cum." Jeongguk moans as he feels your walls coax him. 

"Cum for me." As if he has given you the right to do so, you orgasm for him. Your eyes fill with spots as your thigh tremble with pleasure. 

"Good girl." He pulls away from your clit, his fingers slowing as you come down from your high. You looked gloriously fucked out before him, thighs and cunt still twitching as you lick at your swollen, kissed lips. He pulls his fingers out of you and you mewl at the loss before lifting your head. "We aren't done here. I'll fill your needy cunt, baby girl. Don't worry about that." 

Jeongguk stands up tall, his hands pulling down his sweatpants as you sit up on your elbows. His cock springs out, slapping his stomach and smearing it with precum that seems to be oozing like a never ending waterfall. His tip was an angry red as he strokes at his long length. Okay, you knew he was hard before but this, this is impressive. He had the length and the girth that has your mouth watering as you look up at him through your lashes. He chuckles at your surprise before sitting up on the bed, back resting against the headboard. His hand lazily strokes his cock before tilting his head at you. 

"Come suck on Daddy's cock." You're quick to scramble in front of him, your body falling between his open legs as he stares down at you. He nods his head simply before letting his cock go. 

"No hands." He says as you go to grasp him. You lean down, swirling your tongue around the tip earning a sigh from him as he grasps your hair into a makeshift ponytail. 

"Suck Daddy's cock better than you did Namjoon hyungs." With pleasure. You swirl your tongue around the base before bobbing your head up and down with quick movements. 

"Oh fuck." Jeongguk's teeth clench as he watches your cheeks hollow out. You gag on his cock, spittle and tears streaming down your face as you look up at him. 

"That's a good girl. Choking on my big cock like some cum slut." You whimper against him, his eyes falling between your legs as your arousal and cum drip down your thighs. 

"This is the only cock you'll be sucking so you better take good care of it." You moan against him and Jeongguk's eyes flutter shut. You gag on him once more and he taps at your throat. 

"Take it in." You whimper quietly before relaxing your throat for him. Wanting to do nothing but please him as he looks back down at you. You nestle your nose against his bare pubic bone earnings a hum from Guk. 

"Good girl, baby." He tugs at your hair gently, testing the waters only to be rewarded with a whine. 

"Mmm. Fuck. You like that? Like being pulled like a little fucking rag doll? Hmm?" He pulls harder and you moan against him, the reverberation has his cock thrusting gently into your throat. 

"You're so fucking pretty choking on my cock like this." He pulls your head up, before pushing it back down on his member. His toes curling in pleasure as he groans. 

He does this a few more times gently before beginning to thrust into your throat. "Fuck! That's it! Take this cock baby girl. No one else gets to fuck this throat but Daddy. You hear me?" You moan for him as his cock begins to throb. 

"I'm going to cum down your throat and you're going to swallow and show me that you're a good little girl that can follow instructions." You grab at his thighs as he puts his hand around your throat, squeezing gentle as he feels his cock pumping in and out of you. That's all he needs before he's groaning loudly. 

"Oh Y/N, shit! I'm cumming!" The way he moans your name has you fueled with desire, you greedily guzzle his cum as he streams ropes down your throat. 

"Fuck, baby! Fuck." Jeongguk gasps, his head lolling back as he eases up on your head. You pull off of him before showing him your empty mouth. He hums before wrinkling his nose and leaning up to kiss you. 

"Good." He lays you down before twirling his finger. "Get going." 

You flip over, face down and ass up as Jeongguk slaps your ass. "Who do you belong to?" You moan as he soothes the rub, "You, Daddy." Jeongguk kisses down your back before spanking you again.

"That's right. Good girl." You whimper as his slaps get stronger. 

"You let Namjoon hyung cum in your pussy?" His question sounds rhetorical but you answer him anyway. 

"No Daddy, everyone uses condoms." Jeongguk hums at the information before running his cock through your soaked lips. You moan gently burying your face on the mattress. 

"Does Daddy have to use a condom? Is baby girl on birth control?" 

"Yes, Daddy. I want you to fill me, show me I'm yours." Jeongguk takes a sharp breath between his teeth before smiling. 

"Aren't you just a perfect little girl, hmm?" You smile at his praise before rubbing your pussy on his cock. Jeongguk groans before stilling your hips.

“Be good, don’t make me punish you. I just became your boyfriend, don’t make me scare you off.” You laugh at his comment and he chuckles in response before bending over you and kissing you softly. He prods the weeping head of his cock to your entrance before slowly pushing in.

Your mouth opens with a groan as he stretches you, “Thank Daddy for his big cock.” You whimper as Jeongguk buries himself to the hilt. Your cunt begins to accommodate the intrusion by relaxing on him. 

“Thank you Daddy.” He moans gently, his fingers gripping at your hips so hard you know you’ll bruise by tomorrow morning. But, fuck if it doesn’t feel good. He pulls out, his eyes marveling at how sodden his cock has become with your arousal before thrusting back in slowly. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet on Daddy’s cock. Jesus Fucking Christ.” You moan loudly, your fingers gripping at the white sheets as you spread your knees wider wanting more. Jeongguk thrusts harder, his power would send you up the bed if he didn’t have such a tight grasp on you. 

“So tight on me, baby girl. Like your pussy was made for me.” Your eyes roll back as he begins to bulldoze inside of you. Your thighs quake at the pleasure as Jeongguk wraps his hand around the back of your neck pulling your body back onto his cock. 

“Fuck, you feel so good. Such a cum hungry slut.” You moan loudly, as he picks your body up to press flush against his chest. His fingers toy with your nipples, plucking and rolling the stiff peaks between his fingertips as he suckles harshly on your neck. He paints your neck with pretty red and pink patches before burying his forehead in the crook of your neck. 

“Mine. All mine.” 

“Yes, Daddy! Yours! Fuck! Your cock feels so good!” This angle is perfect for your pleasure as the bulbous head of his cock brushes against your g-spot. 

“Yeah? Shit, you feel good on Daddy’s cock, baby girl. Daddy’s gonna cum in your little pussy and claim what’s his.”  His words goad you on to your next orgasm as his fingers open your pussy lips before rubbing at your soaked clit. You sob loudly, head lolling back on his shoulder as he clasps his arm around your waist holding you in place as he fucks you to his liking. 

“Such a pretty little thing getting fucked right open. You’re going to take my cum nice and deep. Hmm? Walk around with my cum running down your legs so everyone knows who you belong to?” You grip at his hair as you feel your second orgasm approaching. 

“Yes. Fuck! Yes! I want people to see you drip down my legs.” Jeongguk lets out an almost inhuman groan as he kisses across your jawline. Your pussy begins to flutter around him, the action making his cock throb. 

“Daddy, gonna cum. Can I?” Jeongguk could fucking die right now and he’d be pleased. 

“Cum on my cock baby. You deserve it.” You moan loudly, ears ringing as you orgasm. Your cum coats the bed and Jeongguk can only choke on a moan as he looks down. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot. Christ.” Your cunt begins to milk him in the aftershock of your orgasm, Jeongguk’s grip on you tightens as he moans. 

“I’m cumming. Fuck. Take it like a good girl. Take it deep.” He gasps loudly before stilling inside of you, his warm seed filling you as he gives a few more short thrusts before gripping you tightly and falling onto the bed.

You giggle before closing your eyes as he kisses the back of your head. “Turn and smile for me.” You raise an eyebrow before turning with a genuine smile. 

“I love that. You’re so beautiful when you smile.” He wrinkles his nose once more before kissing you gently. His teeth gently nipping at your bottom lip lovingly before sighing. Jeongguk pulls out of you before looking down at the mess your pussy makes as his cum floods out. 

“Fuck, look at that.” He murmurs before smirking. You lay on your back, eyes taking in his tattoo riddled body before smiling. Who knew the nervous man you met a while ago would turn into this. Jeongguk stands with a before hearing feet outside the door. He’s quick to grab his gun from the floor and cock it at the door as you raise an eyebrow. 

“Who?!” Jeongguk yells walking over to the liquor cabinet, his eyes still trained on the door. 

“Junkwon.” 

“Fuck off.” Jeongguk calls back before uncocking his gun and putting it on the wooden table. 

“You’re kinda hot Jeon Jeongguk.” You tell him as you sit up against the headboard. He gives a whole hearted laugh, his back muscles tensing and releasing as he pours two glasses of whisky. 

“You’re kinda hot too, baby.” He turns back to you, eyes glued to your cum laden pussy before pointing at you. 

“I meant what I said. You’re mine. No one else's.” You sigh gently before closing your legs. 

“This is my job.” Jeongguk clicks his teeth before walking the expanse of the floor and handing you the whisky glass. 

“We’ll find you something else to do. Jimin’s wife was supposed to be a maid and look where she is now. She can teach you how to be a vixen like she is.” Jeongguk presses his lips to your temple before pulling your naked body to his. You ponder this for a second, you had told him before you never wanted to do this but it paid well. And, you trust him enough to not lead you down the wrong path. “Alright.”

You stand with Jeongguk in his bedroom, his eyes flitting to the green dress he bought Lee that many years ago on the day she was murdered. 

"You don't have to do this, you know. I understand." You whisper to your fiance as you hug his broad back. His hand rubs comforting strokes at your arms around his waist before turning to you. 

"Yes, I do. I've moved on. I'm happy. We've been together for two years. It's time for this to go." You look over at the dress before looking up into his doe eyes. Although one is black and bruised from a fight he got into not long ago because someone looked at you too sexually they still had this innocent look to them. A look that melts your heart as he opens up your bedroom door. He holds his hand out and you take it without a second thought. He leads you down the hallway and down the staircase as you both pass Jimin's wife. 

"What're you doing?" She asks, raising an eyebrow as Jeongguk balls up the green dress. 

"Tying up loose ends." She hums in confusion before shrugging. 

"Have fun, meeting in thirty minutes. Y/N, I expect you to be there." 

"Yes ma'am!" You call back to her as Jeongguk continues to pull you. 

Jeongguk wraps his arm around your waist as you walk out into the garden. Your feet feel the green blades of grass underfoot as you walk out to the firepit behind the row of rose bushes. Jeongguk looks up at the orange sky before sighing. 

"Baby-" He throws the dress into the pit without another word before grabbing a book of matches from his pants pocket. He lights a match before throwing it into the fire pit and looking at you. 

"I love you, baby girl." 

"I love you, too." He sits down on the stone bench before patting his thighs. You sit on him sideways, your arms wrapping around his neck as he leans his cheek against your breast. He watches the green fabric blacken as it scorches to nothingness. He was finally happy, he was finally safe within the confines of someone's heart and he couldn't ask for anything more. He rocks you gently as you run your fingers through his hair. Lee never came back to visit him. Not in his dreams or anywhere else. But, he didn't need her to, he found his own happiness.

[sarah-writes-marvel]

Oxygen: Avengers x gn! reader

S.S.: Heya... its been a while. This is another fic kinda based on personal life stuff but I hope you like it still! 

--Little back story, Ive got a congenital heart defect and if I push my self too far this is kind of what happens. :)

Warnings: mentions bruises and cuts, difficulty breathing, other than that its just fluff!

Word count:1,589

Y/F/M: your favorite movie

MASTERLIST ============================

“Alright! Good job team. Another success.” Tony celebrated walking through the helipad entrance of the compound.

“We still took a heavy hit out there tho.” Clint argued massaging his newly wrapped wrist.

“But we’re still alive,” Tony said turning and walking backwards, “I’d say that kinda evens out the bad.”

Clint rolled his eyes at Tony’s slightly faulty logic before the team entered into the common area of the building. Tony immediately took a seat at the bar pouring a drink while everyone else just stood for a minute.

“Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm tired and in dire need of a shower.” you broke the silence, catching their attention.

“I second that,” Nat agreed. “And then maybe some pizza and a movie.”

Various words of approval echoed in the common room.

“Man, I was thinking about throwing a banger of a party!” Tony whined, with a sly smirk, which was returned with cold stares from each of the members. “Jeez, I was kidding.” he mumbled into his glass.

“I’m gonna go shower. I suggest you boys do the same. It's starting to smell.” Nat teased as she made her way to the elevator. Protests and grumbles came from the men standing there.

“She’s not wrong.” you whispered under your breath as you followed her into the elevator.

“I heard that!” Steve yelled out as Clint threw a throw pillow (how ironic) towards the elevator door, hitting the metal before it reached you and Nat.

After a fit of giggling at the attempt, you both leaned against the walls of the elevator, opposite sides of each other, trying your best to filter out the images of the mission running through our heads. 

“Hey, you alright?” her voice attracted your attention as you peaked open your closed eyes.

“Ya, I’m ok. I know that missions don't always end how we want but there's not much we can do.” you sent her a reassuring smile.

“I’m glad you realize that but I was asking more about how you're feeling. Your lips have a very subtle purple hue to them and you're just kinda pale.”

“Oh. I mean I don't feel completely awful. My chest kinda hurts but it's kind of a normal thing for me I guess. Maybe a little out of breath. And a headache.” as you continued to list off my symptoms it seemed more apparent, like the sudden lightheadedness, and the constricting feeling of taking in a breath.

“Do you need to go to the med bay?” She asked on full alert.

“No Nat. I'll be fine. It kinda comes with heart issues. I just need to rest.”

“You’re sure?” she looked at you sceptically, as if you would lie to a perfectly trained assassin who can pick up on any micromovement made.

“Positive.” As soon as you seemed to calm her down from her motherly attentiveness the elevator doors opened to our floor. You quickly gave her a smile and turned to my room while she turned towards hers.

As soon as you were in the safety of your room you striped your tactical gear, doing your best to keep an even breath as it began to feel like the material was constricting your body. With one last solid tug you freed yourself from the clothing leaving you only in underwear.

The reflection in the mirror wasn’t terrible… Maybe that was an understatement. Your lips did in fact have the not so lovely purple tinge to them, your skin looked almost as white as paper besides the bruises and cuts. The burning feeling in your chest and the headache just kind of added to the pain. 

You shook off the slight shock at the reflection, turning on the shower before stripping and stepping under the steaming water, washing away the grim that had apparently become one with your skin.

Despite it being relaxing, the shower did little to help the chest pain that burned through your chest, nor the continuous feeling of not having enough air in your lungs. So as soon as you stepped out of the shower and back into the room you found the little oximeter device and placed it onto your finger waiting for a number to pop up on the small screen.

‘80% oxygen level’ Well that's not good.

“Mx., should I call for a medic to assist you?” Jarvis’ voice echoed through the room causing the number representing your heart rate to spike.

“Uh- no, no it's alright Jarvis. I’m fine, thank you.” you reassured the A.I., pulling the device from your finger.

“Very well.” 

You pulled on an oversized shirt that just happened to have landed into your laundry one day and a pair of thin comfortable pants before moving to your closet.

“Man, I’m gonna regret this.” you opened the door revealing the several oxygen tanks hiding under the clothes that hung in your closet. They were there only for emergencies and no one else knew about them except Bruce, who you had sworn to secrecy which he thoroughly disagreed with.

You chose one of the half sized tanks and the shoulder bag that carried it, slinging it onto your back and adjusting the fit. You carefully wrapped the plastic cannula over your ears before taking the plastic wrench piece and opening the flow of the tank settling at a fairly quick air flow. Almost immediately you began to feel the benefits of the small amount of oxygen entering your lungs, breathing a sigh of relief.

You quickly slipped on your slippers before returning downstiar which you figured everyone had returned too by now. You followed the sound of voices and wrappers crinkling in the kitchen, walking into the group there intimately discussing the best type of popcorn. But as soon as Tony caught sight of you standing in the doorway the conversation halted.

“What's with the getup?” he motioned to you.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know whose shirt it was, it was just in my clean laundry a few days ago.” you said, avoiding the obvious object in question. You looked up to see Nat giving me a pointed look and a deadpan from Tony.

“I meant the tube, and the backpack.”

“It's my new jetpack. You like it?” you smirked childishly at him as he rolled his eyes.

“Y/N. What's with the pack?” Steve commanded, obviously over the jokes.

“Sorry. I just needed a hit of oxygen. Nothing to get your undies in a twist.” you replied quietly. “What movie are we watching?” you asked, grabbing a slice of pizza from one of the various boxes that sat on the counter.

“Why do you need oxygen? Are you ill? Do you need new lungs?” Thor questioned passing over your previous one.

“Do you need your vitals checked?” Bruce suggested.

“How about we just take you to medical and have them look over you quick.” Clint suggested before stuffing the last of his pizza crust into his face.

“Stop!” you demanded, quieting the group. “I’m just fine. I checked my own vitals. I don't need new lungs and I'm not ill. I don't need medical treatment. What I need is just a relaxing night.” you stated.

“Are you sure? It wouldn't be a bad idea to-” Steve started before you cut him off.

“I'm sure. I’ve lived with this my whole life. I know what I need to do. Obviously if the out of breath feeling and the dizziness are constant then yes I’ll let one of you know that I need medical attention. Until then I just need some oxygen and RnR. Can we do that please?” 

“Fine, for now. But if you still feel crappy after the movie you're going down to medical. No questions.” Tony compromised.

“Alright. I'll try not to faint on you guys until then.” you smiled, which immediately faded when no one laughed. “Im kidding.”

“Well, Miss Comedian, what movie are we watching?” Nat asked as she poured herself a glass of water.

“Y/F/M?” you offered, getting nods and sounds of approval. Steve's eyebrows crinked in confusion.

“What's that?”

“You’ll love it, capsicle. Covers everything from the last thousand years.” Tony smirked, grabbing a box of pizza and leaving the kitchen.

Steve glanced at you before looking at everyone else who just smiled and followed Tony. Eventually he got up and walked over to you.

“Hop on.” he said, crouching in front of you. So of course you followed orders, adjusting the tank on your back before climbing onto his.

“Man if I get service like this I should wear my oxygen tanks outside of my room more often.” you smile as he carries me to the living room.

“Wait? You’ve felt the need to wear oxygen before and you didn’t tell us?” his grip under my legs tightened a little.

“Oh wow, they already got the movie set up!” you said, trying to wiggle from his grasp.

“Y/N.”

“Yes, I have just because I know that this would've been the reaction. Im sorry. Next time I feel like this I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” with that he let you down, sitting next to you on the couch once youve settled down. You carefully maneuvered yourself so that your head laid in Steve's lap while your legs were across Thor while the movie played.

It was nice to be worried about every once in a while despite the overbearing motherly attitudes of most of the male teammates, but what can you do?

========================

S.S: Hope you liked it! Again I realize its kind of a case sensitive fic but I havent seen alot of fics with physically disabled characters. Thanks for reading!!

[uhhhhhhhhhsblogyea]

♤| dragon ball shapeshifter au

storyline rundown

part two

tw: profanity !! a bit of gore and such

the story begins on kakarot's farm! he lives with his parents, bardock and gine, and his brother raditz.

kakarot takes his produce to the market to sell, talking to krillin who is a police officer watching over in case of robbery or stolen goods, with his wife 18 and his daughter marron.

he hangs out there and sells all his produce, making a whopping amount of money to give back to his mother to go towards their farm. so thats what he does.

later that night, raditz barged in through the door, huffing loudly and covered in purple blood. it had a reddish tint. gine and bardock jump to their feet, bardock still in his training gi and gine in her white shirt and some sweatpants. "raditz!? what happened?" bardock exclaimed, gine following up with "why are you covered in... purple blood!?" this caused kakarot to come out of his room in a rush, "h-h-holy s-shit! i didnt kill anyone i swear mom, mom, dad please, i wouldn't do that!" raditz panicked. "s-something tried to attack me! i didnt know what to do so i attacked back!!" he tries to wipe the blood off, it being on his face.

whatever happened, scared raditz enough to make him shake in fear and what seems to be regret despite it being to protect himself.

kakarot however, still was unsure what happened. his father said he would explain in the morning, the situation was too dire for kakarot to get involved - especially with the police.

in town, vegeta covered his bloodied chest, panting as he hid deep in an alleyway. "goddammit," he huffs, slicking his hair back to keep the human bangs out of his face. hes got a huge gash across his chest, thanks to that damned raditz he happened to work with. luckily, he was morphed into some other alien lifeform and not his original shift state. he slowly morphed into a bird, a finch, and flew off to him apartment. he always kept his window cracked just in case this were to happen. just his luck, we wont be able to eat and to heal he needs that energy for food or else hell be out asleep for awhile.

he decides calling off work, so thats what he does. what he doesnt expect is a man with a thick ass fucking tail and slicked back purple hair and red eyes to be reading a book, lounging like a king on his bed. "f... frieza!?" vegeta says, startled.

"ah hello my creation! lovely seeing you here, dont you think?" he throws the book off to the side, getting up and striding over to the bloodied vegeta. "aw looks like you got a paper cut." he jabs a finger into vegetas cut across his chest. vegeta groans in pain, a tentacle whipping around to hit frieza away into a safer distance, but the icejin blocks smoothly with his muscled tail.

from here:

wow!! you found out vegeta is a "creation" of friezas, but what exactly does that mean?

raditz gets taken in for questioning. he gets blamed for a murder that happened on the otherside of town, the law system being dumb sentenced him to 25 years in prision for a murder he didnt do

kakarot is confused, bardock telling him there arent any alien threats and it was a misunderstanding on the jury and judge's parts bc raditz was getting mugged and a murder far away happened at roughly the same time, and they were desperate to throw someone into jail.

this is a lie, to some extent. kakarot believes it, living happily thinking there are no threats

vegeta attacked raditz, needing food. shapeshifters need to eat hearts and lungs of animals as food

raditz is the one who cut him across the chest (thatd why he has a scar on his chest in the ref sheet)

kakarot has to bring crops and milk into a market farther into town sometime in the next week, it being an event ran by capsule corp, a company that produces a lot of housing and vehicles and being in business for 40 years being the anniversary that day.

vegeta is a mechanical manager, wearing fancy clothing that day since its technically a high spot in the ranks for capsule corp.

vegeta likes milk, surprisingly. it helps a lot when recovering damage, especially his species. this is when he meets kakarot

kakarot is running his stand with the crates of crops and glass jars of milk set out on display with their price, krillin with him

vegeta is annoyed he has to speak up to get the seller's attention so he grunts with an "ahem"

kakarot jumps, apologizing and asking what he wants to buy. vegeta gets his milk and some vegetables for someone he knows

"hey, whats with the fancy suit?"

"you dont know who i am?"

"no. should i?"

"i-? im vegeta! im manager of the mechanics in capsule corp!"

"oh. is the job hard?"

they conversate, as kakarot sells his produce happily listening as he was able to get the short man with a temper to talk about his job.

vegeta himself was caught off guard by this action but happily talks

this ends in kakarot running behing the stand's curtain and grabbing his business card so vegeta can have a discount on milk next time he decides to buy

vegeta takes the card walking off

the card has kakarots name and number on the back, a message saying "text me personally if you want extra, i dont mind taking some. you seem cool!"

vegeta is a bit ticked, but pockets the card

over time, vegeta and kakarot talk over text a bit, kakarot delivering him milk like an old time milk delivery boy

turns out he actually used to be one as a kid

turns out hes been into marial arts as well, a long time interest of vegetas

they bond over this, kakarot find himself growing a crush on vegeta

one time kakarot stops buy with a delivery unannounced, not knowing he typed the text but didnt send it. he knocks on vegetas apartment door, but no answer.

he checks to see if its unlocked, and it is so he lets himself in, just wanting to put the delivery on the counter and head out.

he doesnt expect to turn around and see a vegeta with a towel wrapped around his waist, tentacles coming out of his back, green eyes, and sharp ears, teeth, and claws. "K-KAKAROT!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he yells, surprised. he doesn't have bangs either

"why do you have tentacles?? why do you look different? why do you have that scar?"

vegeta is caught off guard, not sure if he should push kakarot out or tell him the truth. one way or another he knows the truth will spread, so he carefully debates his options

he tells kakarot the truth, hes a shapeshifter and hes insanely dangerous

kakarot is surprised dangerous aliens exist

he tells vegeta this, and deep down vegeta is mad kakarot is sheltered

little do they know as they conversate and bond, growing closer to each other kakarot finds out vegeta made a vow not to ever get in a relationship no matter how much he envied them, especially a human relationship, a certain someone is watching them and listening in, theyre keeping tabs on vegetas and kakarots feelings

trust issues amirite?

later that night, kakarot says his goodbye heading home, heart pounding. wow!!!! vegeta is... great. very great. kinda cute too, i mean what!?? no!!

kakarot rants to himself aloud in his room, window open to keep himself cool, about vegeta as he debates his feelings. he doesnt care if this seems out of character in his friends terms, all they see from him anyway is a dense fightcrazed guy with a dysfunctional relationship with an ex and his son. he realized vegeta doesnt see him like that, but, what DOES vegeta see him as?

he calls it a night

he wakes up to a "thwap, thwap, thwap" against his wooden floor

he sits up, looking around and seeing a short figure sitting at his desk.

"whos there?"

"ah, youre awake monkey! i have valuable information for you, about your lovely vegeta." the voice is squeaky

"and, who is telling me this?" kakarots interest is piqued, not seeing the mysterious figure as a threat, as of now at least

"oh-hohoho! im dr. cold! but please, call me frieza. doctor cold is my father's name."

"and what do you have to tell me about vegeta?"

"mmm, are you sure you want to know?" he gets up, beginning to pace

"theres a catch isnt there" kakarot realizes, serious

"oh! maybe you arent so dense afterall. yes, there iss monkey. its simple, deliever some of your left over crop to my facility tomorrow, i already left the address on a paper over on that... pitiful little desk of yours." frieza pauses. "vegeta will kill you if you arent careful. hes hungry, and he wants that heart. but... i think the poor creation wants it in more than one way. kill him before he kills you."

frieza hands kakarot a box cutter

"thats the only thing that will kill him. if you dont do it i expect that delivery tomorrow by midnight. if you dont show, and theres no news of him being dead, youll be a brilliant collection to my creations, monkey!" the man laughs in joy, clasping his hands together as his red eyes pierce through kakarot

kakarot reluctantly agrees, unsure how this will play out

PART TWO WILL BE MADE SOON!!!

anyway heres the part 1 of the rundown.

[yuyukx]

basking in one's comfort

genshin x fem!reader | one-shots/headcanons |

✰ characters: diluc, albedo, and dainsleif.

✰ notes: angsty-fluff (?)

✰ warning(s): non

✰ summary: how the characters would comfort you

diluc ♬

you're trying your best to quietly sob on the bed in hopes that no one will hear you, but you've been stressed for a while now that you have no choice but to let it out from time to time. you're on top of diluc's bed, covered in the white milky sheets, on diluc's side of the bed. having yourself take in his smokey-like scent.

↷ "y/n? are you alright?"

you're trying your best to quietly sob on the bed in hopes that no one will hear you, but you've been stressed for a while now that you have no choice but to let it out from time to time. you're on top of diluc's bed, covered in the white milky sheets, on diluc's side of the bed. having yourself take in his smokey-like scent.

you didn't realize that he was leaning close to the door, his stoic gaze slowly melting as soon as he saw how feverish you looked. he hassles to you. your first instinct is to bury yourself in the sheets and pretends that it never happened but you know you can't lie your way out of it. he sat onto the bed, while you were trying to compress your tears, telling yourself to stop crying but it doesn't seem to be working.

↷ will proceed to cradle you until you calm down.

↷ doesn't usually say anything while you cry, he likes to wait till you're done

↷ he hums in hopes it distracts you a bit, he'll try his best not to do anything you wouldn't like.

moving away from the sheets from your face, he gently calms you down. picking you up before positioning himself then placing you down so you're straddling him. he then proceeds to cradle you, like a baby. you hicked and sob, your face was nuzzled into diluc's neck. his warmth and his presence were overwhelming that it caused even more streams of tears to trickle down your face. you didn't mind it, in fact, it was quite nice.

it took you some time to calm down, your eyes were puffy, your hair was a mess, everything about you looked so unorganized that you felt embarrassed for diluc to witness you like this. though, the male doesn't care in the slightest about what you would look like right now; all that matters to him is that you're okay.

↷ "who did this?"

you nodded 'no', sniffling a bit more before leaning down to his chest. he then quietly sighed, it scared you a bit; was he mad? did he think you were disgusting? or was he disappointed in you?

"don't overwork yourself. for the next few days, i'll take care of you. whatever you want, i'll make it come true just make sure to get some rest, alright?" he softly murmurs, quickly dissolving right in your ears. slowly falling into slumber.

albedo ♬

there you were in the dark corner of albedo's laboratory, you decided to take a small break from work and calm yourself down from all the stress you're feeling up till this moment. it never felt this overwhelming to bottle up your feelings, you're not used to admitting you're tired since you tend to drown yourself with work.

this is why albedo has always stuck by your side, he tends to stay by in case if something bad happens or if you need anything. he reminds you to sleep, eat, and take care of yourself on a daily basis. when you've cooped up this tiny dark corner, he quickly made his way towards you

↷ "are you asleep?"

he asked you almost whispering, his sweet-chalky scent filling up the room as he slowly leans in to check on you. "no, im not tired," you said waving your hands in denial, of course, albedo didn't believe you one bit. he hummed to himself, taking off his coat and tossing it around your shoulder. he sat right next to you, the atmosphere, slowly feels lucid to you as if you both aren't in a room but instead in your headspace.

tears falling down one by one, your face stoic as a stone not realizing that you're crying until albedo wiped them. you made eye contact, realizing that your eyes are slowly drowning. "ah-" your voice shrinking down, "-i didn't m,,mean to" without anything else, albedo slowly grabbed your hands holding it tightly as he broke eye contact with you.

↷ he wouldn't say much, he'll give you as much space as you need

↷ if you told him to leave you alone, he'd leave and come check up on you with treats

↷ he won't ever push you for answers, he knows his boundaries but if the reason why you're upset is because of somebody, he'll try to pry it out

"humans tend to resort to isolation when one's mind is stress, if you need me to leave or do anything, please let me know," he said to you softly. his words pierced through you, why is he so good to you? a mere human. a thought like this got you even more teared up, you spent the hours with him by your side, leaning closer to him as you exhaust yourself to slumber.

↷ he stayed with you until you've woke up, he may not know what to do most times about emotions but he'll try his best to understand them for your sake

dainsleif ♬

one of your favorite places was 'angel share'. to you, drinking was one of the ways where can drown down your worries even though, hangovers aren't fun at all. still, alcohol felt nice in your system especially when you're having a bad day.

its your 4th glass of dandelion wine, pretty much you're already feeling quite tipsy. your table was in the corner of the whole tavern, a discreet place if you must say so yourself.

the drink in your hand about halfway down, you slouched down to the table with your head resting on top of it, you've watched the other contenders celebrate, laugh, and enjoyed themselves while you're here sulking in the corner. tears in your eyes as you gulp down your saliva to maintain your pride as suck up those tears back.

you heard a thump onto the table, you glanced over to find it was dainsleif who's a good acquaintance of yours. he placed down his drink, his eyes wandering to you. you quickly faced the side but a bit too quickly which resorts to a small 'thump'. you cursed under your breath, "you look unfortunate" he scoffs quietly, he's very quick-witted, like albedo, you can't hide your emotions well enough to trick dain. you stayed slump, still with your head resting on the table; refusing to look at the blonde.

↷ he slowly places down his hand, giving you head pats

↷ tell you stories and adventures that he knows to keep you distracted

↷ he's a great listener, he'll try his best to cheer you up out of your worn-out expression

↷ will also hold your hand until you feel better, he'll also give you his coat because he'll be embarrassed to hug you.

he'll stay with you if you ask, he will always have enough time to wait for you to feel better. even though his demeanor is very stoic and serious; he knows how to crack jokes and make sarcastic remarks, one of the qualities you love about him.

[ end ]

[hoodharlow]

Las Cuñadas

AN: everyone thank Cal's trainer for not posting him bc now I'm back on  schedule. One of the characters introduced is dedicated to my bby @cherryxwildflower as thank you for always being down to hear me ramble about Cal and Claudia whether its a 3am or 2pm, ily. Another shout out to @karajaynetoday for sharing her Australian knowledge with me. And thank you to @d-oaks for always finding time to beta read and edit <3

Requested?: Yes by my girl @myloverboyash [AND BECAUSE IM GREEDY AF... “This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?” with Calum 👀🥺]

Warnings: smut, deadass wasn't gonna write it, pos ni modos

Word Count: 4.2k words

Calum checked his phone again. Claudia and Ashton were supposed to be back at her house an hour ago. The night before the tour bus dropped them off in LA, Ashton hitched a ride with Calum to San Diego because Claudia invited him to an outdoor yoga class in Chicano Park. The two had insisted Calum join them, but he stayed behind with Claudia’s brother, Danny. 

“They were supposed to be back an hour ago,” Calum told Danny.

“They’re probably at Por Vida. Claudia never misses the chance to get an horchata latte,” Danny said; his eyes never left his phone. Then he lifted his head and looked at Calum for a few seconds. “Or she’s pestering Ashton for some details about your sister, so she doesn’t fuck up.”

“I told her thousands of times not to worry. My sister is going to love her,” Calum said. 

Danny shrugged and got up from where he was sitting. 

Calum watched Danny continue to text with one hand while he made a grilled cheese. He quietly placed one in front of Calum and leaned against the sink texting. He cursed to himself and placed his phone face down next to him.

“Okay, so I’m seeing someone and Claudia hates them?” Danny told Calum.

“Paco?” Calum asked, unsure who else Claudia hated. 

“What?— No!” Danny said flustered. “This girl from high school. They were rivals in almost every aspect from what clubs they ran to soccer."

"Is she the one that tripped Claudia when the scouts were there?"

"It was an accident," Danny defended. Calum raised his hands in the air, not wanting to get into it. Danny dropped his shoulders. "Sorry, Claudia is just really you know Claudia. When someone crosses her, they're her enemy for life… except for Ashton. Anyways, I'm bringing her over for Thanksgiving dinner and since your sister is going to be here, she'll have to be nice to her. Right?"

Calum shrugged and bit into his sandwich. They ate in silence. At some point Danny placed a bowl of fruit and a glass of agua de jamaica in front of him. Calum saw how similar Danny and Claudia were. Sure she may look like their mom while he looks like their dad, but their actions spoke louder. 

They both are very nurturing and protective of people they cared about. They see the best in people even when others don’t. It was amusing to watch them both act like they weren't similar when they were. 

Danny excused himself to make a phone call, leaving Calum to catch up on the first few seasons of Holiday Baking Championship. Claudia got him hooked on all the Food Network Baking Censorship shows. At the start of tour they had binged the Halloween Baking Championship.

The front door opened. Claudia quickly came in followed by Ashton. She walked past Calum and called after Danny. He looked at her walk around long enough to notice she wasn't wearing panties under her leggings. 

"I'm so glad Claudia doesn't hate me," Ashton said, taking a seat next to Calum. He sipped his iced coffee. Then he started playing with the sticker on the coffee cup. "We were at the coffee shop, and she bumped into this girl. They chatted a bit, but as we were driving back she went in. Something about how that girl ruined her chances of getting a full ride to UCLA only to get pregnant."

"She's pregnant!" Calum whisper-yelled. He turned to Claudia where she was talking to Danny in a hushed voice. She was gesturing to her stomach, motioning a pregnant belly. Danny's face paled as he listened to her. If Calum connected the dots properly, then thanksgiving was going to be messy.

***

Calum pulled up to Claudia's house after the show. Diego had originally driven Claudia to the show, but he ended up leaving early because he was going back to LA to film another episode of Guy's Grocery Games. Calum had been ecstatic to find out  Diego was one of the judges. He even posted how much he was a fan of Diego to his Instagram stories. While he waited for their turn to go on stage with the Chainsmokers, Calum posted a series of pictures of him and Diego. He even managed to sneak one in with Claudia in the ten slides.

There were mixed comments. Some sent Claudia virtual glares because her and Calum looked like a couple in the picture. Some recognized her as one of the radio hosts from their LA show at the Meet You There Tour. Some were just happy for him to be meeting Diego. His favorite comment was from Guy Fieri, which earned him a follow back. He was one step closer to meeting him.

"He cropped me out," Claudia gasped. She showed him her phone. It was a picture of him, Diego and Claudia's arm. 

"You think he'll follow me back now?" Calum asked before chuckling. 

"Maybe, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Took him three years to follow me back, and I'm his daughter. You're just some guy who raws his daughter." Claudia leaned over and kissed his cheek. She tugged him closer to her kiss his lips. "We should go inside. I'm getting cold."

"Is that why your nipples are poking through your shirt?" Calum joked as he playfully tugged one of them.

"No, it was because you parallel parked." She smirked.

They made their way inside the house. Claudia checked in with her parents to let them know they're home and are gonna watch a movie down stairs. She went to her room and slipped into one of Calum's sweats and some fuzzy socks before going back down. Calum was coming out of the guest bathroom clad in Claudia's greatest weakness, grey sweats and his Sensations shirt. 

Not even fifteen minutes into the movie and Claudia and Calum were devouring each other. Her hand lazily stroked his length through his sweats as Calum's hands ran over her thighs and ass.

They hadn't had the chance to enjoy each other. It had been almost a month since Claudia's birthday, the last time they saw each other. Even then Diego was with them, so they couldn't sneak off into a secluded hallway or Calum's car. 

"Here let me save this shirt of yours." Calum told her when he pulled away. "We wouldn't want you to poke holes through it. Plus I wanna love on them.” He smirked as he pulled down her shirt, releasing her breasts. He ran his thumb on her sensitive nipples.

Claudia leaned back, giving him better access, and quietly moaned out as he gently nipped under her breasts. Both of his hands were on her nipples, twisting and rubbing them. His tongue traced the pert peaks. 

She pulled his lips back to hers as she slowly grinded on his hardened cock. His hands went to her ass, letting her control their kiss as he guided her against him. 

"Want you, Cal," she said against his lips. 

"But I'm going to need you to be quiet… like not even a peep." Calum warned her. “Don’t wanna get caught like last time.”

"Pinky." She held out her pinky to him. He lazily wrapped his with hers before lifting her up just enough for him to pull down his sweats. 

Claudia greedily got on her knees and got a quick taste. "You're coming in my mouth," she whispered to him as she slipped off their sweats. 

She climbed onto his lap. She bit into his shoulder as Calum coated himself with her arousal before lowering her down his length. He pulled her arms around his shoulders. Then  his hands controlled her hips at the pace he wanted her. 

After a few minutes, Calum's hands wandered away from her hips. He lazily made figure eights on her with his middle finger while his other hand was toying with her breasts. 

Claudia pushed herself against his chest and quickened the pace she rode him. She dug her nails into his biceps as her climax neared. 

Then the front door slammed shut. Calum pushed her off him and pulled him sweats on while Claudia scrambled to get dressed. They both sat on opposite ends of the couch when Danny came by.

"What movie are you two watching?" He asked them. He turned on the lights and watched them carefully. 

"Watching a movie." Claudia shrugged as she looked onto the movie. She had no idea what they were watching until she saw Harry Styles in the water.

"Guess I'll leave you to it." He said shutting off the light.  "Oh and Calum, pick up your shirt. Don't think I don't know what you were doing. Mom and dad don't need more grandkids, Claudia."

***

Claudia checked the oven after letting the pavlova cool. She snapped off a little piece from the middle and went to the living room where her dad was watching Charlie Brown with his grandkids.

"Can you try it?" Claudia asked him. 

"Claudia, ya te dije que esta bueno." He told her.

"Please." She said, extending the 'e' sound.

He took the piece and ate it. He nodded, instantly loving how it tasted. 

Claudia clapped her hands and went back to the kitchen. She quickly whipped up some pomegranate curd from the leftover yolks. 

Her family left her alone in the kitchen, so she could make all of the desserts ranging from sugar cookies to pavlova; she even made chocoflan for Calum. They knew she was nervous that Calum's sister was coming over. She knew how much Mali meant to Calum, so she needed to make a good impression. 

On top of that Danny was bringing his girlfriend, which gave her a weird tug in her stomach because he always gave her vague responses when she asked about her. He didn't even tell her what her name was, so she couldn’t make her a name card. 

"¿No te has cambiado?" Soni, Claudia's mom, asked her when she walked in. The older woman was dressed like she was going to mass with her sky high heels, soft cashmere sweater and silk pants. Claudia couldn't compare in her Long Beach State t-shirt and Calum's sweats.

"I'm almost done. I just need to make some more whipped cream. Hay nomás para los pies y ocupo para esto." Claudia said, shrugging her off. 

"Vete a cambiar. I'll make it." Her mom shooed her out of the kitchen

Claudi rushed upstairs and struggled to choose what to wear. She sighed and went with a grey plaid overall dress and a long sleeve turtleneck under it. She undid her bun, letting loose her curls and clipped it with a ribbon hair tie. Lastly she did a simple makeup look. She slipped her phone in her pocket and made her way back downstairs. 

"Tía, is the poopyhead coming?" Damian asked her when she came down. 

"Yes, but can you not call him that? Just for today?" 

"Cookie and we'll see," he said in a negotiation tone.

"I'm gonna tell your mom," she said, crossing her arms. 

"Fine, but I want a cookie."

"Nomás una." 

Claudia made sure no one saw her snatch a cookie from the dessert cart. She handed it to him and waited for him to eat it, so Paloma and Guito didn't see her and asked for one too. They went back to the living room and watched the Cantinflas marathon Telemundo did every Thanksgiving. She took a seat by the window, checking every so often for Calum. A few minutes passed and Claudia watched Calum's Range Rover pull up. 

Claudia squeezed her eyes shut when she heard the doorbell. She felt like she was back at school on AP test day. The hollow ache in her stomach as it churned. She wasn't sure if she was going to throw up or pass out. 

Junior gave her knee a gentle squeeze and went to open the door. She heard Calum's laugh followed by hushed voices. 

Then she saw him. Dressed in all black as usual. He guided Mali to the living room and everyone greeted her. Damian immediately glued himself to her side and started making conversation with her. Lastly it was Claudia's turn to be introduced. 

"And this is Claudia." Calum told Mali, gesturing to her. 

"Hi." They both said at the same time. 

Mali gave her the warmest smile and reached over to hug her. The ice had melted with that gesture, and they clicked. They dove right into conversation while Calum was talking to Diego and Junior. They were waiting for Danny and his girlfriend to show up. 

Fifteen minutes passed, and the front door opened. There were hushed voices. Danny popped his head through the doorway and waved. "Hey, sorry we're late, traffic," he said. He pulled his girlfriend forward by the hand, revealing her to his family. "This is Medelyn."

Calum's eyes were on Claudia as hers were on Medelyn's belly. He couldn't read her face at all. He watched her hands ball up into fists before she stood up and left the room.

"I'm going to talk to Claudia," Danny announced after everyone greeted him and Medelyn. 

"It was nice knowing you, carnal," Junior called to him as he left for the kitchen.

***

Claudia was on the floor eating carne asada fries and sipping on sparkling cider when Danny came in. He grabbed a fork and sat next to her. They ate for a bit, passing the bottle until Claudia worked up the courage. "I guess you finally made a move on your high school crush."

"You knew about that?" Danny asked. 

"Everyone and their grandma knew, dude." Claudia snorted. She remembered how Paco would tease him about it. "And I saw y'all being all couply and shit at Eileen's 21st. Just didn't think much of it."

"Really? I thought you were too busy throwing drinks at Paulina to notice." He joked. 

"It was one drink!" she said defensively. "Do you remember that one Halloween when she forced you to be Danny Phantom so she could be Paulina?"

"I try not to. Mede was there, and I had asked her out before hand only for Paulina to fuck it up." 

They both laughed and continued eating. They caught up. Claudia learned that him and Medelyn have been dating for almost a year. They started talking when he ran into her the tattoo shop he worked at when she was with her sorority sisters. Things got serious between then as the months progressed. A few months ago they found out Medelyn was pregnant. 

Part of Claudia felt bad. Her and Danny used to talk about everything, but ever since her and Paco broke up, they just stopped. They’d only occasionally check in on each other. It  was around May when she worked up the courage to tell him about Calum. They spent hours talking about him. He even joked that it wouldn't have happened if he didn't hack her Facebook. The two of them looked up when they heard someone approaching the kitchen. 

"He's not dead," Junior yelled into the hallway. He sat next to them and grabbed Claudia's fork. "Why do I always find you both eating carne asada fries and sharing sparkling cider?"

"Tradition." Claudia shrugged. She took a sip and passed it to him. 

"Are you guys done with your heart to heart? Because Damian can only be cute-hungry for so long before he starts fighting." 

"Yeah, we're good," Danny said. He got up and pulled Claudia up. He picked up the locket around her neck. "I thought you lost it."

"Cal gave it to me for my birthday," Claudia said. She tucked it in her dress. 

"He's so whipped," Junior joked.

"Says the one that bends over backwards at whatever Marlene wants," Danny responded. 

Claudia left them and went to the dining room. She grabbed the empty place card next to Danny and wrote Medelyn's name. She wandered back into the living room and called everyone to eat. Calum gave her hand a squeeze and went to his seat next to Mali only to get pushed by Damian because he wanted to sit next to her. 

"Oi mate, that says Calum," Calum said, pointing to his place card.

Damian grabbed it and went to where his place card was and swapped them. "No it doesn't."

***

“Are they always like that?” Mali asked Claudia’s family, gesturing to the couple. 

Calum and Claudia were against the kitchen island in their own little world. Calum was toying with the hem of her dress, smiling at Claudia while she deseeded some pomegranates. She made him open his mouth so she could explode some seeds in his mouth, giggling as he playfully tried to bite her.

“Yeah and they’re so predictable,” Danny said. He pointed at them. “Watch him whisper something into her ear, followed by Claudia getting all shy and tucking her hair behind her ears.”

“I doubt that’s—”

As Danny predicted, Calum got up and towered over Claudia. His hand was on her shoulder as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear. Claudia stepped back, clearly smitten at what he said and tucked her hair back, giving him a sheepish smile. She turned away and poured the pomegranate seeds in a large plate with mixed berries.

“I think that’s enough of that.” Diego grumbled, getting up to break up the lovers' gaze between Claudia and Calum.

“Déjalos, they haven’t seen each other in a month.” Soni said, placing her hand on his chest. She turned to everyone else. “Let’s go to the living room.” 

“I’m just going to get a quick picture to show my mum how whipped her son is” Mali pulled out her phone. She snapped the picture and sent it to her mom. She laughed at her mom’s response and made her way back to the rest of the family.

***

Calum grabbed a bunch of pomegranate seeds and popped them in his mouth. He reached for some more only to get his hand smacked away.

"Stop, I need them." Claudia said sternly. She went over to the fridge, looking for the whipped cream her mom made. "Did I take out the whipped cream? I can't find it."

"Maybe lower?" Calum suggested to her. He dipped a finger in the whipped cream as he watched Claudia. He had a great view of her ass. Her dress bunched up enough that he got a peek of her black lace panties. 

"I swear she made it. I heard the mixer when I was chang— I fucking swear if you're making me bend down to see my ass, I'm gonna eat your chocoflan."

"Oh, look I found it."

Claudia pulled her head out from the fridge and grabbed the bowl from him. Calum rested his elbows on the counter, placing his chin on his hands as he watched her decorate the pavlova. Her hands delicately sprinkled pomegranate seeds. Then she grabbed the pomegranate coulis and drizzled it over the pavlova in circular motion. 

Calum pulled out and discreetly took a picture of her and made it his new lockscreen. He loved watching Claudia in her element. Her personality always showed in her baking. Fearless and precise. 

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Claudia asked, breaking him from the trance he was in. She walked over to him and sat on his lap. His arm instinctively went around her waist. 

"I love watching bake and decorate." He shrugged. "Gives me a glimpse of how your mind works."

"Really?" She sounded surprised. She wasn't expecting to hear that from him.

"Yeah, you're very calculating and aren't afraid of trying new things. It's one of the things I love about you."

Claudia was taken back at his confession. Comments like those always seem to find a way to surprise her. Mostly because no one's ever told her things of that sort. People usually just give her surface level comments. Calum always found a way to be sincere and deep.

"You're sweet, Cal," Claudia said. 

She leaned over and kissed him. Calum's hand held the back of her head and kissed her back. Her hand was on his cheek letting him deepen the kiss. There were no intentions to go any further. They just wanted to kiss each other. 

Soft piano filled the house, making them pull away.

"Oh god, they made Mali play." Claudia sighed. She pulled away and placed the pavlova on the cart with the pies and cookies. 

"You have a piano?" He asked. He got up and followed her out to the living room.

By the time they got there, Mali was finishing up her song. Damian was the first to clap. He leaned over and hugged her, sticking his tongue out to Felix. 

Claudia furrowed her eyebrows at Felix. She could've sworn he said wasn't coming down for Thanksgiving. He greeted Calum with a hug, joking about Mali being the talented sibling before he reached her. 

"I thought you weren't coming." Claudia exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him.

"I wasn't, but since I'm moving to London over Christmas, I decided to come visit. Then my mom sent me over to bring your parents tamales," Felix said. He leaned and whispered. "Ya vi que llegaron todas las cuñadas."

"I know, there's so much to unpack with that," She whispered back. "Also London?"

***

The night wore on. Junior and his family left. Damian gave Mali extra hugs and made her promise to visit soon. Claudia's parents retired to their room while everyone stayed downstairs to watch Pan's Labyrinth. Mali and Felix were off to the side discussing London and all the good things there.

“This movie is really scary, but you’re into it. So I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?” Calum blurted out to Claudia as he hid his face into her chest. 

“There’s more to it than some monster with eyes on his hands," Danny piped up. "Memo explores good versus evil versus innocence. We have a kid being forced to do 'courageous' grown up shit, but it's even scary for most adults, stripping her from her innocence. Ofelia only wants to be the princess of the underworld, but she can't because of the shit she has to do. Saving her brother from Pan and the general, then impedes her from going back to the underworld and then she dies. Don't get me started on Aragorn because that's a whole different conversation. Basically Memo is saying that in a world torn by war, there is no room for innocence." 

"My baby is gonna be so smart what the fuck," Medelyn cooed. She shifted and kissed him.

"Since when are you smart?" Claudia asked.

"Mensa, we were in the same Spanish class when we saw it." Danny scoffed at her.

"Yeah and?" 

"What does that say about you, mensa?" 

Claudia stayed quiet, unsure how to respond. 

Danny smirked and rubbed Medelyn's belly. "Your tía  is being stupid as always. Sorry you had to hear that, baby."

"Well, I'm gonna get going before the twins fight, and Danny makes Claudia cry." Felix announced. He went around hugging everyone. Calum eyed him as he and Mali talked in hushed voices. He gently squeezed her arm and left. 

"What do you think they talked about?" Calum whispered to Claudia. She shrugged and sniffled. She turned away and Calum caught a glimpse of tears streaming down her cheeks. "You okay?"

She shrugged once more, and got up, wiping her tears. 

"Ah, fuck." Danny mumbled. Whispering to Medelyn, he got up and went after Clauida. Seconds later Claudia's blubbering cries were heard followed by steps retreating up the stairs. Danny came back and sat with Medelyn. Calum was quick to get up, but Danny grabbed his arm, stopping him. 

"She's gonna be okay." He told Calum, "Let her process. Today was a lot for her." 

The movie finished and everyone settled into bed. It took a lot of convincing from Claudia for her parents to allow Calum to sleep with her, so that Mali could have the guest room to herself. 

Calum emerged from her bathroom and climbed into bed. Claudia rolled over and hugged him. He rubbed her arm. 

"You okay?" He asked her.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." She sighed. 

"I would be if I baked as much as you did." He said. He felt her smile against him. 

"Did you like the pavlova?" 

"Yeah, it was fucking good. It was nice to see something from my culture and stuff. To be honest, I was surprised to see American food."

"Thanksgiving is the only time we eat like white people. My mom goes all out with the turkey and green bean casserole."

The loud knock on her door followed by a struggle with the door knob startled them.

"You locked the door?" Claudia whisper-yelled to him, climbing off the bed to open it.

"¿Qué dije? Que la puerta sin seguro y a dormir. No que le pusieras seguro a la puerta y que estén platicando," Diego scolded her.

"I know, I'm sorry. We're going to sleep right now," Claudia mumbled. 

Diego peeked into her room and held up two fingers at Calum. "Strike two."

"What was the first one?" Calum asked, confused. 

"That little bathroom break you both had when we were in the living room. I already have one grandkid on the way. I don't need more."

"And you won't; we use many forms of protection." Calum smiled innocently. 

"That's three."

[bosspigeon]

Adam versus that most evil of foes...the office printer?

two glass houses, twenty stones

Pairing: M!Detective/Adam du Mortain Word Count: 1711 Summary: Having recently learned that he is the target of a power-hungry vampire who wants to experiment on him because of his “special blood” (oh, yeah, and vampires are real, apparently), Detective Arlo Priestley deals with the aftermath. The aftermath, of course, including one Adam du Mortain and his sparkling personality.

So... I don’t even know what to say anymore. I get completely innocuous prompts and they become something COMPLETELY different than what i had in mind. so, uh, hope you enjoy an Arlo Character Study with a side of Printer Shenanigans! This takes place in Book 1, shortly after the detective finds out about, uh, everything. I had fun playing the unreliable narrator with Arlo! And I have a fun idea for a sequel that’s Adam’s POV! Title is from Type O Negative’s “I Don’t Wanna Be Me.”

“You can, uh, sit down if you’d like,” Arlo offers, picking at the chipped polish on his thumb.

Adam hardly glances at him, keeping his attention on the window that overlooks the rest of the police department. “I am fine standing,” he says shortly. It almost seems like he’s determined to not look directly at the detective at all.

Arlo winces a bit, blowing a loose strand of hair out of his face. “Yeah, sure. That’s fine too,” he mumbles, looking down at his pile of reports. He brushes the accumulated black paint chips he’s shed in his anxious fidgeting aside. He’ll have to paint his nails again soon, they’re looking rather ragged, almost to the point he can bite them again. He’s been trying to stop, he knows it’s sort of gross, but still…

He furrows his brow and starts thumbing through reports, absently flicking through his color-coded tabs that help keep him marginally organized even when his “system” doesn’t really work for anyone but him. He calls it improvisational. Verda calls it “slapdash.”

 He frowns, chewing on his lower lip and clicking his tongue when he notes his color system is out of order, and that one of the red tabs is missing. His eyes flicker up when he hears Adam shift slightly, but the vampire still isn’t looking at him, so he focuses back in, counting through reports again. He sighs and rolls his eyes, turning to his computer and pulling up his group chat with Tina and Verda.

big-depeche-mood: Tina, did you take my copy of Mrs. Holt’s police report?

big-depeche-mood:  And why did you change my display name again?

BubblegumB!tch: how do u know i did it? why do u always blame me? 😥

big-depeche-mood: Because Verda has no reason to care about Mrs. Holt claiming her ex kidnapped the dog when they separated.

big-depeche-mood: And if you mean the display name, you’re the only one with admin privilege, because you made this chat.

BubblegumB!tch: i am being unfairly targeted 😭😭😭

BubblegumB!tch: im taking this to HR

DoctorDILF: HR has found no evidence to support this claim.

DoctorDILF: Really, Tina?

big-depeche-mood: Just tell me if I need to print another copy, please.

BubblegumB!tch: 👉👈

Arlo rolls his eyes and minimizes the window so he can start the task of going through his backlog to find the digital copy of the original report. Once he’s found it and sent it to the printer, he pushes himself upright, groaning as his spine pops in several places

Adam finally, finally turns to look at him. “Where are you going?” he snaps.

Arlo flinches, clenching his jaw to bite back the nasty retort burning on his tongue like acid. “To the printer,” he grits out, jerking his hand towards the window. “Literally twenty feet away. So unless you plan to go get that report for me, let’s just hope the megalomaniacal vampire that wants to use me as a lab rat doesn’t decide to snatch me from a police station in broad daylight.”

Seems he didn’t bite it back hard enough after all.

Adam recoils, like he always seems to when he realizes he's stepped directly on Arlo's nerves. He feels a little guilty for snapping, but he’s had more than enough of being treated like an unruly toddler. He wants to snidely suggest Adam see about requisitioning a bloody leash for him, but he snatches up a pen and starts furiously clicking it until he can calm himself down instead. Adam’s lip twitches, and Arlo clicks faster.

Adam turns sharply on heel and stalks out the door, slamming it behind him so hard the window rattles. Arlo is just grateful it hasn’t broken.

He sinks back into his chair and rolls his eyes skyward, dragging his hands down his face and wondering what the hell he’s done to deserve this whole situation. It’s bad enough he knows there’s some mad scientist vampire wanting to experiment with his freakish blood, but being shut in the same room as Adam for multiple hours a day when the man won’t even look at him, much less talk to him, makes nerves squirm under his skin and sets his whole body on edge. Unfortunately for the both of them, when Arlo gets nervy, it gets much harder for him to temper what comes out of his mouth.

He melts into his chair a little more, ignoring the pings from his computer that are probably Verda trying to convince Tina to change his display name back, and Tina reacting by changing it to increasingly ridiculous things. He just closes his eyes and focuses on breathing for a bit, trying to remember a single thing from his anger management classes from years ago when his brain is still buzzing with a squirming twist of irritation and guilt, a desperate need to apologize warring with the urge to snap and unload every frustration this whole thing has got knotted up inside him.

It's some sort of cosmic joke that Adam occupies so much of his attention, when Adam seems like he can't wait until he can get as far away from Arlo as possible.

He's just pretty, Arlo tells himself. Remember the last time you let someone pretty get you all stupid? Maybe remember what you learned from that.

He almost falls out of his chair when he opens his eyes to see Adam in the doorway, his shoulders so taut they're making Arlo's hurt just looking at them.

Maybe stop looking at them, idiot.

He forces his eyes up and is confronted with perhaps one of the most bewildering things he's ever seen.

Adam du Mortain, stoic, no-nonsense, terminally brooding Adam du Mortain, is standing just outside Arlo’s office, looking almost... sheepish. Arlo has to blink a few times to make sure he’s not seeing things. He’d almost say he’s imagining things, but at this point he’s so familiar with Adam’s general stone-faced demeanor that any sort of change to it is almost glaringly obvious. The scrunch of his eyebrows, the twist of his mouth, the almost painful stiffness of his posture, as if he’s pointedly trying to look as unaffected as possible and failing spectacularly. Arlo’s a detective, and while he doesn’t consider himself an expert at reading people, he’s still fairly decent at it. Adam, from time to time, can be pretty easy to read, but especially when he’s trying not to be.

Maybe Arlo’s been watching him a bit too closely.

“Uh,” he starts, already cringing internally at himself, “what’s up?”

Adam is silent for a moment, and then he exhales sharply through his nose, as if he is trying to calm himself down. Arlo’s nerves immediately ratchet up a few notches. “There is an issue with your printer,” he says.

Arlo blinks. “Oh. Um, I didn’t think you’d actually—” He bites his tongue when Adam’s brows furrow harder. “Let’s go have a look, shall we?” he offers instead, standing up. He hesitates to approach the door until Adam takes a step back to allow him through unimpeded. He lets Arlo lead the way and Arlo tugs his braid over his shoulder so he can twist it between his hands, because there is something a bit unnerving about Adam behind him, silent but radiating a tension Arlo can almost feel. It’s likely his imagination, considering his annoying awareness of the man, but still.

Arlo sees the problem almost immediately upon arriving at the little alcove that houses the station’s printer. The top cover for the document feeder seems to have been pulled off entirely. He turns to give Adam a bewildered look.

“The paper jammed,” Adam says stiffly.

“Yeah,” Arlo replies, “it does that sometimes.” He lifts the cover and turns it over in his hands, to see that, yes, the little plastic hinges that attach the feeder to the tray are entirely broken off. He frowns a little. Adam is so tense next to him, so still, Arlo wonders if he’s even breathing. “I can just ask Verda if I can send it to his, then see about calling someone for repairs.” He snags a sharpie from Tina’s desk and pops open one of the other trays to pull out a blank sheet of paper so he can write a quick “Out of Order” sign and slap it on top.

Adam still hasn’t moved, staring at the printer as if it has somehow personally offended him.

“It’s fine, Adam,” Arlo insists quietly, stepping a bit closer with his hands raised, though he doesn’t dare to touch. “Really. It’s a shitty old printer. I bet the second I let Tina know, she’ll go pester Doug until he calls his dad about it. We’ll have a shiny new one in no time.” He offers a wry little smile. “Say what you like about nepotism, but it has its perks.”

That doesn’t seem to help in the way Arlo hoped it would, because Adam raises an eyebrow and gives him a sharp look that has him shrinking back. “I am surprised you have that attitude, Detective.” He doesn’t have to say he’s disappointed, Arlo can hear it loud and clear and hates that it bothers him so much.

He steps back and turns away so Adam doesn’t see the look on his face before he can smooth it over. “Well, it’s the reason I’m here, isn’t it?” he can’t help but snark. “And it’s the only reason you’re here too. Explains a lot about your attitude, I suppose.” No wonder Adam’s been so bloody sour about all this. Must be a pain to have to babysit your boss’s kid because she said so. His silence on the subject speaks more than he could hope to.

More than anything Arlo wishes Rebecca could just go back to ignoring him. Things were a lot less complicated then.

Shoulders tight enough to rival Adam’s, Arlo heads towards the stairs to the basement. “I’m going to get that report,” he tosses over his shoulder, trying and failing to sound casual as Adam’s eerily quiet footsteps begin to follow him. “I’ll try not to get kidnapped on the way,” he adds under his breath.

The way Adam’s footsteps falter tell him he wasn’t quiet enough.

[theoriginalladya]

50 Types of Kisses #4: An accidental brush of lips followed by a pause and going back for another, on purpose. For Rydenko.

from this list

on AO3 here

Okay, so my friend, you get your SECOND Rydenko prompt filled today as well!  Look what you’ve done to me!  

Setting:  Milky Way, roughly sometime in 2184-ish (before Shepard is ‘alive’ again)

Characters: Scott Ryder, Kaidan Alenko, Sara Ryder (sort of...)

Tags: Blood mention, battle/fighting mention, kissing  ;)

~~~

It’s crazy, Scott thinks, the things that pop into his head at the strangest times, and under the most unpredictable circumstances.

That’s you, Scotty boy!  Mr. Unpredictability!  

Of course, having a snarky response from his twin pop into his head a fraction of a moment after such a thought, while less unpredictable, is just as crazy, if not more so.

A shot from the batarian taking cover on the far side of the room just narrowly misses Scott’s temple at the same time Kaidan shouts out a warning.  Throwing himself to his left, Scott rolls out of the way – too late for it to be effective, but he does it anyway just to prove a point – and when he’s back on his feet once more, his kinetic barriers up and full, he yells back at the batarian, “Oh, no!  You did not just –!”

The batarian fires again; the second shot connecting with his barriers.  The hissing snap as the shot meets and is swallowed by the shields pops and crackles loudly in Scott’s ears.  

Guess he told you, huh?

“Shut up, Sara!”  He shouts it, frustrated and more than just a little irritated with himself because he knows better, he really does!  It’s just been… a hot minute since he was in active combat, that’s all.  All right, any combat, technically speaking.  Anger getting the best of him in the moment, he pulls dark energy to him with enough speed to leave a normal person dizzy and starts running straight ahead toward the bastard.  With a shout, a flick of his wrist, and a release of the appropriate mnemonic, he arrives in front of the batarian, jumps into the air as he forms a second mnemonic, and lands with a solid punch of biotic energy to the ground, sending out an explosive wave of energy.  In the half second before the batarian is tossed backwards where his back connects solidly with the wall, it’s impossible to miss the stunned look in its four eyes. Scott finds it amusing, if not more than a little bit disturbing.  When the body crumples to the ground, he steps over and takes aim at its head with his assault rifle, shooting once into the back of his head.  

Pulse check – just to make sure.

That’ll learn ‘im, Scotty.  

He can picture Sara’s smirk to perfection.  Dammit!  Some things don’t ever change.

Turning around, Scott searches for his next target. The scan he and Kaidan did from outside the room indicated four targets before they entered.  He’s taken down this one plus one other, and he’d seen Kaidan take one down.  Speaking of…

His gaze connects with the commander’s about a hundred fifty feet away from him.  “You okay?” Kaidan asks.

Scott huffs, shrugging just a little too casually while a smirk curls across his lips as he saunters in his companion’s direction. “What can I say?  He was a lousy shot.”  Something about the commander inspires him, gives him a bit more confidence in himself, boosts his self-esteem to previously unattainable levels, and yet, leaves an inexplicable but gentle ache in his chest when their eyes meet.

Kaidan’s dark eyes flare a little as he chuckles; Scott notices.  “That so?”

The response sets loose a thousand butterflies in Scott’s belly.  Or, maybe it’s simply the way his voice drops an octave, warming him from head to toe but centering mostly in his chest, the way a glass of good whiskey does.  “Mmhmm.”

Scott isn’t even a third of the way over when movement out of the corner of his eye, plus the way Kaidan’s head turns sharply in the same direction alerts him to the danger.  Scott reacts without conscious thought, simply grabbing at the dark energy, wrapping it around him, and flicking the mnemonic off his hand in haste as he launches forward the rest of the way.  This time, instead of preparing a second biotic attack, he moves both hands out in front of him with one singular purpose in mind; get Kaidan out of the line of fire.  

Time slows around him and, as fanciful as it sounds, he swears he sees the shot flying right next to him; side-by-side, a race to see who gets there first.  Scott has never really been good at racing before, but this is one he intends to win.

Just before he connects with Kaidan, he dials back his momentum, slowing as he prepares to connect.  Thankfully, his fellow biotic hasn’t had a chance to re-activate his barrier, instead taking his own shot in the direction of the enemy. Barring any last fraction-of-a-second changes, this end result shouldn’t be that bad, all things considered.

Hah!  You always say that!

Go aWAY, Sara!

The collision is jarring, to say the least. Yet as they connect, Scott slides his arms around the other man, enveloping him and twisting their bodies as they fall to minimize the damage.  Colliding at speed, even one that is slower than a full speed Charge, can still hurt if he isn’t careful.  They land with a thud, half on Scott’s right side and half on his back.  He grunts in pain and hears the breath knocked out of Kaidan.  The momentum sends them rolling across the floor together, until they come to a stop another twenty feet away, Scott now fully on top of Kaidan.  It also cannot stop their foreheads from bumping… or their lips brushing together and lingering for just a moment.

Sucking in a deep, quick breath, Scott pushes himself up, eyes wide as he stares down at Kaidan.  Okay, so… yeah, this is what he wants, but this isn’t exactly the scenario he had in mind when playing it out inside his head.  And just because he wants it doesn’t mean… “Um, I can explain…?”

Kaidan says nothing, only staring in Scott’s eyes briefly before drifting slightly lower.

Scott blinks, breath catching at the implication. In the same moment, he notices Kaidan hasn’t let go of him just yet… and his eyes remain locked on Scott’s lips.   He blinks a second time, and has difficulty swallowing.  And still, Kaidan’s gaze doesn’t leave his lips.  

“Oh, to hell with it,” Scott mutters, ignoring nerves and diving back down, this time with purpose, and fusing their lips together.  

If anything, Kaidan’s arms slide further around him.  Scott accepts that as tacit approval to continue and deepens the kiss, savoring it, reveling in it.  His world tilts somewhat awkwardly, but no less dramatically, as they roll over and when the kiss breaks in the next moment, Scott is left looking up at Kaidan as he gasps for air.  

A smug smirk toys at Kaidan’s lips.  “I’m still waiting.”

“Waiting?”  Scott struggles to recall what he could possibly be waiting for.

With a soft chuckle, Kaidan runs a finger down the length of Scott’s nose, tapping it once on the tip.  “I believe you said you could explain?”

Mouth hanging open, Scott nods.  A strangled sound escapes as memories of the attack flash before his eyes in a rush.  He bolts upright, or at least attempts to – it’s rather difficult to sit up when the commander is lying across him, and damned if Scott can think of a better reason to remain where he is at the moment – and looks in the direction the shot had fired from.  Their last batarian opponent lies face down on the floor in a growing pool of blood, motionless.  “H-how…?”

Kaidan glances over his shoulder in that direction. “I knew he was there and took the shot.”

“But, what about the shot aimed at you?”

Lifting himself off of Scott, Kaidan sits cross legged on the floor next to him for a moment, a field of dark energy slowly enveloping him.  “I had my barrier field up.  You?”

“I…”  He has his shields, of course, but they lose their effect for a short time when his biotics are active.  For the most part, Scott accepts it as a fair trade, but Kaidan’s simple question is a reminder of his father’s arguments against him opting for the Vanguard class and his shoulders sag as he shakes his head and glances away.  “Kind of pointless if I’m zipping all over the battlefield. Guess you didn’t need me after all.”

A firm grasp on his chin pulls him back until their eyes meet again.  “I never said that.”  There’s an insistence in Kaidan’s voice that confuses Scott for a moment, but then he forgets about it as Kaidan leans in and initiates a kiss this time; firm yet gentle, more exploratory than lustful.  The kind of kiss that most definitely can lead to other things. Kaidan rises to his feet when the kiss breaks off and offers Scott a hand up.  

The kind of things we don’t have time for right now, Scott realizes, accepting the assistance.  Ah, well. Not meant to be, I guess.  

As he lands on his feet, practically eye to eye with the commander once more, Scott catches a glimpse of Kaidan’s left shoulder. Narrowing his focus onto the area, he sucks in a sharp breath, recognizing what the groove through the metal armor, just deep enough to crease, really means.  Without thinking, he lifts his hand and runs a finger over it.  To the naked eye, it isn’t deep at all, doesn’t even technically ruin the armor, but it does tell Scott one thing and that leaves him chilled to the bone.  His eyes drift back to meet Kaidan’s as the blood drains from his face.  “You…”

Solemn yet smiling gently, Kaidan nods.  “Guess I did need you, after all.”  

[shivada-jade]

soulmates! (2)

soulmate!au BECAUSE IM WEAK. YOU'RE WEAK TOO.

characters: ganyu, kaeya, thoma ➡ mentions: cloud retainer, ningguang, adelinde, diluc, crepus, rosaria, traveler warning(s): like- just one swear

part one: (bennett, zhongli, diluc)

ganyu: can see footprints where soulmate has recently stepped on. if followed, they will be lead to their soulmate. sort of like "hot and cold" cold if you're far and hot if you're close

she knew she is a very busy person. she surprises herself when she asked ningguang for a day off.

"you want a day off?" she remembers ningguang's composed face deteriorate and herself doing the same thing.

ningguang let her rest for two weeks even if ganyu had only requested one. now she has so much free time.

the first thing she did was sleep, but she couldn't- not when she spots purple footprints.

as part adeptus with one heck of a good eyesight, she always assumes that the footprints on the ground are because of her eyesight, but cloud retainer says otherwise.

"child, you have a soulmate system of which," the old bird starts. "where one has the ability see where one's soulmate has been, and if they've been there recently."

blue footprints that fade away means her soulmate had left a long time ago. red-ish-orange footprints mean that her soulmate is very close by, but it's never been that colour in her eyes.

ganyu strolls along the grassy plains of liyue, admiring all the sweet flowers. she lightly touches her horns, a habit she got from being awoken from naps on a field of sweet flowers.

the footprints were purple, which is the closest to red ganyu had ever gotten. blue is the colour she always sees like her vision, her hair, the waters of liyue, and the glazed lilies.

the purple is also as beautiful.

"fate will bring two together at the right moment. thou need not rush." ganyu can hear cloud retainer say, so she didn't run after the footprints.

the half-adepti thrums her fingers on her leg, unsure what to do with all the free time given to her. she supposes she can head back to liyue and have tea with madame ping.

meeting madame ping confuses ganyu. the elderly woman keeps asking of her soulmate system and if she's met them.

"ganyu, have you met them?"

"ganyu, why not chase after them?"

"ganyu, ganyu ganyu-"

ganyu politely sets her teacup down, "i have yet to find them."

madame ping chuckles in her elderly woman way, like those smug elderly women who know more than others but will act clueless to amuse them.

"you know, i have a special gift, some speculate it as a curse, but i think it's wonderful," she said, pouring more tea for ganyu. "i have the ability to see red strings that connect soulmates. i can connect, i can break connections, but i can't see my own."

ganyu frowns slightly, "have you met yours?"

"no, but it makes me happy seeing the strings connect with people," she blows on her tea to make it cooler and turns her head to avoid looking at ganyu.

"madame ping, why-"

"you," a person behind ganyu seethes.

meekly, ganyu turns around and finds someone glaring at her. "may i help you?"

"ganyu, right? why do you always walk so fucking fast. i can never catch up to you when i see your footprints, and you're always going from place to place. one moment you're in liyue, the next your in somewhere like fontaine or something. it's like you're spiderman."

ganyu's jaw goes slack, "you're my soulmate?" she looks at the ground, seeing red footprints of where her soulmate had just walked. she now understand why madame ping kept asking her about her soulmate, because madame ping knew her soulmate was going to meet her.

ganyu clears her thoat, standing up to offer her soulmate a seat, "would you like to join us for tea?"

her soulmate blinks, and looks at the tea set then back to ganyu, "sorry, i didn't mean to intrude your tea party. i'm [name]."

"hello, i'm madame ping," the woman speaks "and your soulmate is ganyu. have tea."

ganyu stifles a laugh and sits on a chair next to her soulmate. "i apologize for walking too fast."

kaeya: he hears what his soulmate sings

at first kaeya thought he was going crazy when he kept hearing music in his head.

"dad!" he cried, forcingly rubbing away the tears that fell down his cheeks. the kids near the winery had come over and played with him and diluc, and that was when the first notes started. it never bothered him. he brushed it off until it became a full sound of a voice and a song.

not understanding scared kaeya to death. he always knew something, but this is the first where he doesn't know. he felt like he was going insane with this voice in his head, singing in his head; a voice that wasn't his.

"dad!" he called out again more desperately. diluc held him by his side, worried for his brother.

"father!" dliuc called this time, "father, kaeya's feeling sick."

diluc brought in kaeya, rubbing his back in attempt to comfort him. he saw adelinde and waved to her.

adelinde gasped when she spotted the blue-haired boy sobbing. she dropped her feather duster on the shelf she was dusting and dropped herself next to kaeya, inspecting of there were any wounds on his skin.

"kaeya, dear. what's the matter?" she quietly tells diluc to get his father in the wine cellar and gently pushed kaeya to take a seat near the fireplace.

diluc silently obeyed and ran, unlocking the door that led to his father.

kaeya hiccupped, unable to form words.

adelinde hushed him. her motherly fingers soothed his head, "what's wrong? breathe with me, dear. just until your father gets back."

she inhaled and exhaled in a steady manner for kaeya to follow. the boy shakily did the same. he did it a few more times, inhaling and exhaling slowly with adelinde. he calmed down. the crying stopped and his breathing was normal again. adelinde took this as another chance to ask him what's wrong.

"are you ready to tell me?"

kaeya blinked the tears off and gripped his clothes to stop himself from crying again. "it's happening again. i- i don't understand miss adelinde."

adelinde placed a hand over kaeya's for him to know she was listening. "what don't you understand?"

"i keep hearing things. i always hear a voice that isn't mine in my head-" kaeya sputtered.

diluc and crepus open the door from the cellar. crepus' face etched with worry when he spotted kaeya crying to adelinde. diluc had told him as much as he could but all the information he gathered was kaeya started covering his ears and crying.

"-all the voice does is sing and sing. i don't even like some of the songs it sings! i don't- i don't know," kaeya stammered, not noticing the two others that joined. "i don't know what happening to me. i'm scared."

crepus smiled at adelinde and nodded to her, signaling that he can handle it from here. adelinde gave a grateful nod and brushed herself off the floor to continue her duties.

"my boy," crepus smiles, kneeling in front kaeya to see him better. he brushed his face with a thumb and hugged him. crepus chuckled when kaeya hugged him tighter.

"my boy," the man continued with a knowing smile on his face. "that's your soulmate system. you can hear them singing if they sing as they can hear you singing when you sing."

kaeya lets go from crepus' hold and sniffled his tears away, "what? but isn't a soulmate system when things fall on you?"

diluc from the back of the room silently listened in, also confused as kaeya. didn't everyone have the same soulmate system?

crepus pats kaeya's shoulders, "we all have different ways to know who our soulmate is. yours and diluc's soul systems are different from everyone."

"master crepus is right." adelinde piped in while dusting off the dust on the shelves. "my soulmate system is a countdown to when i'll meet them."

kaeya looked at the woman shocked, "so not everyone has things falling on them?"

"correct." crepus raved, "but unlike diluc's soul system, instead of things falling on me, it appears on my hand for my soulmate system."

diluc eyes his brother, picking up a stray book on a chair and handed it to adelinde to help her.

kaeya pulled a cheeky grin and pointed to diluc, "diluc's eavesdropping."

the said boy gasped and turned his body around to make it look like he was doing something busy.

crepus bellows a laugh, "so what song is your soulmate singing?"

...

to be frank, kaeya had no idea what his soulmate sang that day. it was random words jumbled together. in fact, most things his soulmate sings are songs he has never heard before. it progressed from simple tunes, but now kaeya feels like his soulmate might be a song composer.

when he was younger he'd brag to diluc saying "my soulmate sings so well! what does your soulmate sound like, hah!"

to which diluc would respond with

he grins, swirling his wine around the glass as he watches a stack of papers hit diluc's face while bar tending on the first floor. kaeya clinks his glass on the table, watching people enter and leave the tavern from above.

today, his soulmate sings a song he's heard of.

'the wellerman,' and judging from the pauses and missing lyrics, kaeya safely assumes his soulmate was singing a duet with someone.

"soon may the wellerman come, to bring us sugar and tea and rum!"

kaeya hums the next few notes, never singing. after hearing his soulmate sing for the first time, his thought was to never sing- not when his soulmate could be a billionaire for singing with their voice.

only on occasions he would sing to let his soulmate know he was there.

he finishes the last sip of his wine and descends down the tavern stairs, raising a hand to acknowledge rosaria drinking in the corner. he airily chuckles, seeing diluc scrunch his eyes at the papers in front of him instead of looking at kaeya.

kaeya pushes the door open, humming along to the song his soulmate sings. he strolls by the alleyways, waving a hello to flora and a couple dogs that bark at his feet, scratching behind its ears.

he hears a bard singing at the plaza and saunters towards the music, climbing up the stairs and his frame almost freezes when seeing someone acting out to the song playing in his head.

good hunter's table tips over with a person on it. they land smoothly to the ground with a grin while singing with a resident bard.

"one day when the tonguing is done, we'll take our leave and go," they sing with so much melody and soul. the bard in green rumbles with cheer, raising his hands and dancing with the other with an arm latched around another.

kaeya watches, mesmerized by the singing and clapping around the plaza. he claps along and laughs when the bard drags his friend up to the walls of the fountain, singing louder.

the makes eye contact with the singer and waves. the singer waves back, unaware of what kaeya now knows.

soulmates.

he clued the pieces together and admired his soulmate from a distance, not wanting to disturb the performance.

"she'd not been two weeks from shore, when down on her a right whale bore!" the bard sings in glee.

kaeya quietly sings the next part, blending with the crowd. the whoops and cheers grow louder, chanting for his soulmate to sing the part kaeya sand under his breath, but to his surprise his soulmate tenses.

"WAIT! stop!" they hush the crowd with a hand and confuse everyone, "my soulmate's singing! but they're a bit too quiet. they never sing so shh, this is rare!"

the people murmur, watching kaeya's soulmate covering their ears to hear him clearer. kaeya grins, taking this opportunity to sing out loud.

"soon may the wellerman come to bring us sugar and tea and rum!" kaeya waltzes in front of the people who create a pathway for him.

his soulmate's eyes snap to him and he steps up next to them, standing on the fountain. the bard grins, and cheers. the crowd follows his cheer, watching their cavalry captain sing to his soulmate.

kaeya takes his soulmate's hand and presses a kiss on the back, "hello darling, i'm kaeya."

his soulmate doesn't hear him talking, no. they hear music when he speaks. though, kaeya's introduction threw them off, who's to say they couldn't return the gesture.

"a pleasure to meet you at last," they place a hand over their forehead for drama. they grin taking kaeya's waist closer to them and whisper in his ear, "you have a marvelous voice."

mondstadt had never seen kaeya at loss for words and a blush rising his face.

thoma: you taste the same things your soulmate tastes, no matter how strange- even when you're already eating something else

for most times, you were envious of your soulmate for eating the most lavishing food- food only one with money can get. you so desperately wanted to try the food they ate.

you didn't know what they ate, but only knew of the taste. sometimes it clashes with what you eat, like one time you ate an orange while your soulmate started toothbrushing. it wasn't very pleasant to say the least.

you were minding yourself, gathering food for your dinner until you taste something horrible.

wtf is my soulmate eating

it is a vile taste on your tongue, and no amount of water can wash the taste off. you try rinsing it, you tried eating something with a stronger taste, but no matter what, the thing your soulmate ate just stays there. it's disgusting.

you buy anything sour to un-taste what you tasted, and it still doesn't work. walking nearby a tea house, you see a man of blonde, clutching his stomach and laughing at a traveler from afar. call it fate, because it probably is, you know by the second he says his stomach hurts, he is your soulmate.

you point at him with a pointed glare, "what on earth did you EAT?!"

you take a bite of a sliced purple melon in your hand and the man in front of you widens his jade eyes, noting the food you're eating and the blooming taste on his tongue. the traveler next to him knits their brows, looking between you and their friend.

"thoma," the traveler calls. "who's this?"

thoma looks at you apologetically and sheepishly rubs the nape of his neck. "hey? i did it to win a contest... i couldn't let my pride down." he pauses, looking at you, "forgive me?"

you wanted to throw a punch on him, but you knew he had it worse with a bad aftertaste and a stomach ache.

you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. and place a mischievous grin, "take me on a date with food that's actually good, and then i'll think about forgiving you."