#its fucked putting 10 images on a tumblr post

[partyinthecloudkingdom]

after all these years i need to set the primm slimmojis free. should be the right size for discord emojis considering thats what i made them for. use them if you want, credit me if you want. or dont, im not your dad

[nitrowyverine]

I thought playing Obscura would help me get rid of my brain worms. no, it just gave me new ones. For Obscura, specifically.

I'll be adjusting the format from my TOUCHSTARVED expanded thoughts post. Brain dump after the cut!

[Demo/CH 1 spoilers are included]

(Header Image from Itch.io page! All images in this post are either from there or the Rotten Raccoons tumblr page)

Design/gameplay thoughts:

In full honesty without fluff: this game fucks immensely.

The setting for Obscura might be my new all-time favorite, like, ever. Mystery underground scandalous marketplace??? Under a mountain???? it's a diverse and vast city that's still elegantly contained and claustrophobic, but in a spicy way. The worldbuilding and flavor is excellent. I really want to run a TTRPG in a similar setting now, since its an area with so many possibilities.

CH. 1/the "demo" has a LOT of meat on it. It's got different endings, variations, a whole soundtrack. Speaking of sountrack-

Obscura is also one of the few games I've put on the soundtrack to just to vibe to. The soundtrack is SO good, and sets such a strong mood/tone. I think it complements the game perfectly.

Allot of people have mentioned it, but I am also a fan of the Safeword pause menu. It's a nice and comforting touch, especially when the game can get so intense. It lets players take a breather if they need it, but also doesn't interrupt the intensity/mood of the game for someone who doesn't want a break from the narrative.

Now, onto character specific thoughts!

Cirrus:

IN MY HOUSE WE DON'T BELIEVE IN NOT STARTING OUT STRONG

Shout outs for having your asexual option in the dating sim be. The kinkiest guy there

Cirrus is a bit too intense for me, however, that is NOT a bad thing in the slightest. I think his route is well done for those who are up for his brand of intensity.

I might still play his route because. damn this boy's issues got me curious about his backstory. ($10 on mommy issues)

I had the hardest time getting to Cirrus's good end during my playthrough because having pretty much any self-preservation instinct around Cirrus gives you a bad/neutral ending. He's the only one I had to pull the guide out to get the best ending. (I think I'm just too sassy)

I get medusa vibes from Cirrus. The snake imagery is more likely tied to the lunar church, but his staunch reluctance to take his own mask off makes me wonder (this is mainly referenced in asks answered by the Rotten Raccoon studios). Refusal to let people see his eyes + snakes + power + slightly unnatural abilities to influence is, something.

I am shaking this man like a snowglobe WHAT IS YOUR DEAL I MUST KNOW MORE

(I am. metaphorically shaking him like a snowglobe. I would never shake this man im terrified)

CONCLUSION: Most likely to shame you for your anime choices. Least likely to be normal about it when you ask for help peeling an orange.

Keir:

HERE COMES BIG MAN

yeah he's tied for favorite right now. the slow burn in his plot is just too good? big man....freckles...secret soft side...im weak

he's so nice I keep forgetting. He kind of kidnaps you? not even kind of he just drags you off the street and goes "you live in my house now". Even Griff calls MC a stray early on. My man really said "Here's a convenient lost human I'm dragging them home now"

oh my GOD they were ROOMATES

I definitely was too nice to him in my first playthrough until I realized he does need (and want) to be sassed to death.

this man is like 6'6 and the canon-ish Vesper height from the CG is 5'4. THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE. This kills the man (me)

The sprite of Keir's ears blushing SENDS ME INTO A FRENZY

I quite liked the gameplay style of Keir's route. I was so focused and invested as soon as I realized I needed to remember specific directions to save the heist group during timed decisions

Something I haven't seen discussed yet: I'm mega curious about the dagger Keir has on his outfit. It's specifically pointed out in text that it's high-quality, and I vaguely remember an ask that Rotten Raccoons answered that said it's a status symbol. (The dagger also just looks SO cool. and....it looks like Francesco's...?)

(My bet is that he either 1. stole it. or 2. got it from Oleander during their tryst (WHICH WE ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT-))

CONCLUSION: Most likely to be gifted a "WORLD'S BEST DAD" mug from his similarly-aged peers. Least likely to live down that one time he ate soap because he thought it was edible.

Francesco:

someone keep the "silver dust" away from this lad im scared

Originally, I was least looking forward to playing Francesco's route since I just wasn't interested in his initial concept. After playing his route though? It was excellently done, and I genuinely had fun. It was refreshing to have a character more naive than Vesper, so more cultural aspects were explained and we got a good alternate perspective on the marketplace. Also, it got REAL spicy in new and exciting ways the other chapters didn't. I'm really looking forward to the next chapters with his route!

I totally love the contrasts in his design and his character. He's got both bright red and blue highlights in his design, his outfit is very pointy and angular while his hair/smile is soft and flow-y.

And in his personality, he's both sweet and open, but extremely cagey about some information, and quite pragmatic when he wants to be. I think he's way smarter than he lets on.

that doesn't mean I don't want to bridal carry him and tuck him into bed at night after a all-nighter party

I do think Fran's slightly looser demeanor could lead to him being even more brutal than the other LI's. Remember that one anime clip (Found it, it's this one from Danshi Koukousei) where a group of friends wants to fight for fun, but one of the friends asks why they need rules in a fight? And said friend is shown like secretly holding a rock and was ready to use it? that's Fran. He would not have chill and does not heed the rules.

"Protect the boy", but mostly to prevent him from tasting blood. Because if that happens we're all fucked

CONCLUSION: Most likely to eat that M&M off the ground because you dared him. Least likely to beat the puppy allegations.

Oleander:

Oleander is tied for favorite with Keir. Oleander is just *chefs kiss* LOOK AT HIM. inscrutable......

Somewhere in an ask answered by Rotten Raccoons studio, they mentioned that for Oleander's route, they were going for a "Sexy boss situation that doesn't feel like a work safety violation". They hit that right on the nose; there's intrigue and a power imbalance, but in a non-restrictive or terrifying way.

I love being involved in the business part of his route. I keep making decisions like "Hmm yes my primary goal is to romance Oleander. But what would be the smartest business move here? How do we advance our agenda?"

Also, I do love playing a sexy evil secretary in a vn. love having a job and being evil at it AND being paid money. 10/10

That dance scene is everything I could have ever wanted no notes

I am fascinated to find out more about what he's been up to since his last trek into the marketplace. Seems like people are trying to kill him all the time anyway, so what would be enough to cause him to leave?

he's like an angler fish, but the lure is his booba

I relate to Oleander in that. I have too many online usernames because I can't stick with one. People get my 800 online names mixed up often. He has the same problem, we're basically twinsies

This man is pretending to be a himbo like his life depends on it (It probably does). He's too smart though, I know for a fact he has at least three different schemes going at any given time.

CONCLUSION: Most likely to be able to help you properly lace a corset (this man knows the boot-to-the-back necessity of the process). Least likely to be allowed to be banker during monopoly night.

Vesper:

black mask enjoyer 4 life

(all three are good I just wanted to say which one I picked. And to add my conclusion section)

CONCLUSION: Most likely to get their shit rocked by a falling piano. Least likely to survive an argument about pineapple on pizza.

Concerns:

With how separate the four routes are, the game could potentially feel like four separate visual novels all in one universe. Maybe I haven't played enough VN's, but there is a feeling of separation between the routes.

In the very beginning of the game, when you're picking your route, I wish there was a bit more heads up/information between who you're picking. For example, I had a rough idea that going into the church is where you'd find Cirrus, but only from information outside the game. I didn't know sticking around for the brawl would push you into Kier's route. It's overall pretty vague to which route you're going based on only in-game information.

Misc thoughts:

Vesper: "How are you going to keep me?? ;)" Keir and Oleander: "crimes" Vesper: "Wh-" Keir and Oleander: "you're an accomplice now congrats we're in this together. wanna get drinks"

catch my socially anxious ass wanting to be under the mountain and wear masks so I don't have to make eye contact with strangers all the time. at least its a fun thought to have when I mask for covid

OKAY FRANCESCO AND KEIR'S DAGGER MATCH? AND ARE RED/BLUE LIKE FRANCESCOS OUTFIT? DOES IT MEAN ANYTHING??? probably not but I do like the pretty knives....

For real, I got the brain worms for this game, I'm on the edge of making a big ol playlist. the headcannons? They go on my friend. they go on. I'm laying awake at night thinking about what each character would order at a coffee shop

by the time I publish this post. I did start working on the playlist

yes, I've also designed my own vesper, its such a prime opportunity for character design.

Obscura also may or may not have inspired me to get involved with an otome jam game team, more on that in the future possibly.....

OVERALL: I got the first chapter/demo of Obscura for free from Itchio/steam. High marks for writing, sound, art, game design, all of it! I am on the edge of my seat waiting for CH2.

TL;DR: If you haven't played it, and love spicy and dark stories, go play it! Part one is free! and fantastic.

Itch.io

Steam

[front-facing-pokemon]

I just found this blog so I'm jumping aboard the plushie bandwagon.

First we got Absol. (i feel like maybe i should've taken a closer-up picture but it's the face sooo)

Then a Wooloo

And, saving best for last, this Leafeon plush I own... of which I swear on my life is official merch.

I also have some more eeveelutions (plus an eevee and a few more) but: 1. I didn't want to send too many. 2. Eeveelutions are more popular so I wanted to give some other people the chance to submit their own. 3. I don't know where my Pikachu and Snivy plushies are cuz I own too many stuffed animals.

Only reason I submitted Leafeon was so I could show off this ~masterpiece~ of a plushie I own. And it's face isn't the only thing wrong with it too lol. Also I just noticed I accidentally had one of the ears hanging back but I'm too lazy to go take another photo but i hope this amuses you nonetheless.

ALRIGHT THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF YOU AS I'VE BEEN OUT WITH MY FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS HUH

let's start with these guys. beautiful. wonderful. i do not believe that that leafeon is official merch. this statement is baffling to me. welcome to the front-facing pokémon family. i love the eyes on that absol and wooloo is one of my faves. i was rather obsessed with it when it first came out and have a whole wooloo tag on my main blog because of it. though i guess i cleared that whole thing out recently so i don't anymore

let's get the nose ratings out of the way:

↑ this is a lie. 10/10 chespin

it's very wide and also 10/10 you're being too harsh. merry day to you too

circular face indeed. did i already post this one? if i did you can have it again

clodsire be upon ye. clodsire fans this is your treat until gen 9

this is a trend now. i think tumblr just crunched this image to hell for some reason so here's what the text says:

"Felt like joining the others for front facing pokeplushies [images] I have more pokemon but its early morning and these are the plushies that are easy to access"

i have not but i imagine "a moment" has long passed by now. my apologies but apparently today was an important day or something? idk

YEAH it's super unbelievably fucked up. i think i kinda remember the circumstance being a bit dire so everyone else was more worried about either 1. protagonist getting stomped on brutally or 2. saving the world from kyurem / the bittercold. i was totally under the impression that he was dead in that moment but i guess the characters may have known that he would just come back? i seem to vaguely remember partner being surprised that he came back and being like "but we watched you die :OOO" but maybe i'm misremembering that. i do create a lot of pmd lore on my own time so i have a hard time telling the difference between canon and fanon sometimes

two a day makes the world go round! this blog started when i started college, paused for 80% of my college career and now has started back up and i just graduated college a week ago. i would say "how time flies" but it has been a very, very long year

i've said it before and i'll say it again: gen 6 is my favorite gen, so you'll be seeing lots of favor for this gen from me in the tags i'm sure. maybe gen 6 is my excuse to start doing other things here. like that stream i keep talking about

if they put meloetta as a little obscure puzzle thang in sv, i'm sure they'll do something for genesect. i hope. at least for keldeo probably. genesect i'm not sure is very popular, unfortunately, outside of the tumblr crowd. if the general public's opinion on genesect is favorable, then maybe

okay and then i tried to scroll down further in my screenshots for more asks and saw the wobbly will smith in a hospital bed Gimme a Hug, Man that i copied from the "i get a little bit genghis kanghis" post so that's it. to everyone who christmases: merry it. it is today. although it's basically over by now so! merry boxing day for tomorrow if i don't say anything tomorrow. but i probably will. now i'm gonna go queue up today's 'mons because i haven't done it yet today. see you all in a few weeks when those post

[rainbowgod666]

Welcome to the Multiverse

Colors sendable (the first image is from @sizzlingcandyjellyfishhh while thesecond image is from @gaybichon), and also the @wynmu vibes thing

The rules are simple: you want to send an ask? Its either me or some blorbo of yours. Its my Multiverse but there are so many fandoms in it. Holy Shit. If you engage in RP with me specifically rember that my entire "thing" is being The Author. I sill have to figure out of what tho (you would think the Foundation would know that. Well guess fucking what.)

To let you get started, here are some of my best posts. Remember that the Ourple ones are KINDA mandatory if you want ANY background on wtf is this blog.

List of my powers / Its the end of the world as you know it (and i did it on purpose) / an admin kicked me off the island lmao / Mental Health Time / You Absolute Buffoons / The Numeron Game / Well thats a thing that happened! / Out of touch: leap yeap / 🅱️usiness / Magnus did nothing wrong, except its steven universe / welcome to the internet, SCP edition / #HALLOLLAH# / AMERICA IS FASCIST HEAVEN BECAUSE FUNNY / Lost Childhoods / please save those poor gay americans / Free Disco Elysco / Bone to the bad / Priting Wrojects / the True Range of my abilities / the fuck's an apocalypse knight anyway? / @punkitt-is-here fucked Geronimo Stilton and i think its a good thing / Alex goes batshit insane and forces everyone to do as he says... again 🙄 / Screaming in a Pattern. / wizardposting: because powerscaling needed fuckign Zeno Dragonballsuper apparently / BEN 10 BUT LANCER? FUCK YEAH! / So i went batshit insane again / High Geology / fantasy settings on tumblr are really fucking cool actually / RIFLE. IS. FINE. BUT YOU FUCK UP DESIGN YOU UROD. / i technically claimed ownership of Dr. Bright and Betty from glitchtale do you seriously think im NOT gonna do that for homestuck? / XenasOuch / SCP-8000 contest, OR: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUC- / LEMMINO but like, 8 years ago / Hazbin Hotel: a necessary... something i guess. / research attempt: the wizardposting wine aunt /

Below is who i am, and also the tags you can (and should) search for

Hi, name's Alex.

Born on the first ever day of 2005 and also having aspergers, i am a guy from italy trying to make it impossible for anyone to spend a day without knowing who i am. Also i literally trascend powerscaling so hard the only things that can even put a DENT on me are... decided by me. Welcome to the multiverse i guess.

DNI: people who support genocide, people who tolerate corporate bullshit, racists, and terfs.

The following list is ALL THE TAGS USED TO NAVIGATE THIS BLOG. Seriously. This masterpost is an explaiantion for the "portal hub" i placed in the search bar

Lore Post: sometimes the lore of the multiverse, sometimes my personal life.

Welcome to the multiverse: sometimes MASSIVE textpost telling everyone "oh yeah right, this dude has autism", usually me existing. tHE MAIN TAG.

Alex's Answering Machine: literally my asks

The magical workshop: turns out the wizards of tumblr are the reason the phrase "some of y'all have gotten too comfortable saying stuff without getting punched for it" exist. And its up to my autistic, protagonism-fueled low self-esteem high self-awareness ass to... fix shit up.

Belowstory: undertale but REALLY FUCKED UP: so basically frisk falls down and is greeted by a feminine voice that calls itself chara (it becomes slightly visible after getting out of the ruins) and like the good boi undertale character he is he proceeds to save the world. This entire thing exists because one time I was like "how fucked up OP can a sans be before its My Immortal levels of wtf?" And uh yeah here we are uuuuuuh sans greets you by pointing a .44 magnum at you so thank the head of the guards (papyrus) for saving you. Everyone here is broken and just wants A Fucking Break. Also you gain levels in pacifist because LOVE is Level Of VirtuE. Fuck you lmao

Undertale.exe: so I looked at Camilla Cuevas being an awful person. Then i looked at the beautiful anime that is @jakei95's underverse... then i smushed it all toghether to basically create the perfect AU. Frisk is a pansexual fuccboi that Has Game, Chara is THICC and powerful, Betty is built like a ballerina and is 1000 years old, and Asriel is a Streemur. All of them live in this house far away from the city thats literally a larger version of sans' house. All charachters can legally drink (prepare for Drunk Chara shenanigans where its Betty Glitchtale the drunk one instead) and the only one who (probably) isnt gay is Asriel (even though frisk covets the Dreemur Dong) (one day soldier, one day...). Many chatachters from many AUs sometimes come to visit cause, you know. Its a nice place.

Curseworld: massive writing project of mine which is just "adventure time shaped mass of autism". The world is cursed and fucked over, and everything is colorful. Its also part Owl House because fuck you the magic system is FUCKED here.

Internet friends: basically internet stereotype-shaped people. We have a furry thats normal, a reddit/discord mod that just wants to work in peace, and the protagonist is Just A Guy but a-ha! He has both an xbox an...d ps5 thus fucking over any CAD reference. The last sketch i made was a mr.monopoly shaped guy who really wants youngsters to actually AFFORD shit who is married to a very obvious reference to Meru the succubus. Also i 100% intend to put a gag about mr beast living in an ATM when he isnt making videos

Im looking respectfully: look. Back then tumblr was basically Rule 34 with twitter users. Now its way better at the cost of a fraction of their value. Have fun looking at attactive women!

TOH:NEXT GENERATION: not even @moringmark's comics are safe! Enjoy the adventures of ayzee commented by me... telling everyone that shes STRONG strong. Like holy shit girl inherited will much?

Warhammer 50k: listen. This is just me looking at games workshop and fucking emperors tts and going "fuck that. Heres mine". This is a project where my "shard" assegned to this universe basically copies the imperium because, and im not joking, "the emperor is kind of a baka, but then again tzeentch is a thing so...". Also btw TTS is canon as SHIT. Like fr its all canon. Yes even the shadowsun fling, let kitten rest.

Pluripotent Impotence: an scp canon of mine thats basically "the foundation is so cold and clinical they MASSIVELY misunderstood shit". 6140, 6500, 5500 and 7000 are canon. 2718 and 5000 are in the files but they basically might as well not exist. 3812 is living tech support. 166 is in her early 20s and 239 is 19 and they fuck nasty (theyre also childhood friends. Girl Love i guess~) because fuck you clef love wins especially yuri go snort telekill dust. 2317 loves humans and thins theyre cute and squishy and when its seventh child turned out to be fucking JoyBoy? Yeah get this: he DID condemn the fortune teller that was like "dude your sevent child is one of those prophecy children that are so in vogue these days" but also messed with fate so that her death ended up being the coolest and most inspiring shit ever because he was like "considering the average Evil King story, i might as well just... let this happen! Maybe i can convince my literal offspring to spare me!" And it fucking worked. Also a bunch of shit is canon. @i-am-dado looks like a Kpop star and is somft. Dr Jack bright is my character and mine alone and also elias shaw is there i guess. My OC bangs the first one of these 2 amulet boys on a regular basis and the second one occasionally, dont ask why is there a gay polycule when im straight, there are some things that escape my mind. I have been in SCP for a long time and regardless of me making my account 6/1/2024 (LA BEFANAH) i have been here longer than you believe in. From my perspective it took a year before a 5000 contest was announced, so fcuk yoyu

Earth-ℵ₀: the best way to take care of the DC and Marvel universes is... let an autistic dude fix damages done by money-hungry idiots in hollywood. The joker is unimportant. Dr.Manhattan is Done With This Shit. I made a squad with random charachters i like. Lmao suck on uranium rods UwU

ytposting: (Funkdela Catalogue: Encounter starts playing)

Omni-shit: ben 10 is actually a good series guys, and the reboot is an interesting way of showing what would Ben 10 Classic look like if it was made Now

1% enhancement: basically i look at something and go like "hey what if the charachters were basically part me but not in a Knights of the Apocalypse way"

Tumblr italia: aò sono italiano che cos'altro vi aspettate

components: basically i use tumblr as image hosting. LoL.

Items: images turned undertale items. For reference, i have 2³¹-1 HP and my stats are ATK 100000 and DEF 65535. Yes the attack is a yugioh zexal reference. NOSTALGIA IS PTSD BUT GOOD.

Mungeon Deshi: dunmeshi is a good anime and marcille is italian

Full Nelson Analchemist: if FMA exists in my presence im going to give the 20k mg weed gummy to Truth

Evangelion 4.0: look, hideki anno has gone insane. Every time he makes evangelion as the most brain damaging version of telling someone to go touch grass people inevitably miss the point. I take it upon myself to give the @jakei95 treatment to the poor creatures (also fun fact: KAWOSHIN CANON. THEY KISS ON SCREEN. FUCK YOU AMERICA.)

The hoes are stuck: homestuck. What you thought they were safe from my grasp? 人間 you havent seen sheiße.

FeeF the BeeB: minecraft mod bullsheiße

[[Nothing Is Worth The Risk]]: lets just say that sometimes, the multiverse isnt that "cool and good"

Ultimate Sonic: i have a Sonic AU where... uhm... just. If i have a post about that. Just look at it. LoL.

Multiverse Polls: i make tHEM-

Autistic and Artistic: (draws happily)

Side effects of reading this blog can vary between true insight into the inner workings of the universe and self-defenestration from the top of the burj khalifa.

Anyways welcome to the multiverse

Do yourself a favour and dont go out without a loaded gun.

[safetyobstacles]

starting o segredo na floresta now, im either gonna finish this in a week or its gonna take months good luck me

update - i love joui

joui, its a little cloudy out, roll for sanity. joe, you stubbed your toe, roll sanity. joui did you just frown???????? roll a sanity test with disadvantage. that was cool joui, you gain 1 sanity. just kidding somewhere in the netherlands a child tripped and scraped their knee, you lose 10 sanity.

i think im going to put my updates under the cut instead of spamming posts B) beware of spoil

UPDATE

if cellbit takes liz or thiago from me ill never forgive him

this bar has to be its own paranormal entity, thiago would have died if the gun had a bullet in it and cristopher nearly got knifed to death in their first fight loll

EP 2

npc thiago about to be the most useless mf ever i swear if he dies to a stray ant or something ill cry just put him in a box for safe keeping

what would i do without the mental image of joui dropkicking every monster he sees

liz why are you finger painting with the ooze monsters remains and why did it give you 1 hp ?????? NEVERMIND

EP 3

RACCOON bro has 8 health but he sure is happy

faz um teste de sanidade

when i said thiago was gonna die to an ant i didnt actually mean kill him with giant spiders

cristopher no please dont climb a tree these are spiders they can climb nah bro cristopher is dead af im gonna miss him. bro cellbit just kill him already bros dead 2 hp

damn

ep 4

at this rate luba doesnt even need to roll sanity we all know hes gonna fail anyways joui's having the worst two days of his life

jesus christ i just woke up i cant handle this shit cesar's punching a hole in my itty bitty heart bones

please stop talking about leticio's cacetinho

EP 5 how long is too long for a tumblr post btw

the starting soon screen replaced cris with arthur notlikethis

cellbit is far too happy about them going to this house i hate it i hate it

i would like for them to leave a casa now :))) they got gregório time to go :) DAMN JOUI JUST GOT STEAMROLLED BY THAT ZOMBIE ROLLED A 99 VS CELLS 1 jesus christ thiago LOL NO WAY GREGÓRIO IS DEAD AF bro was just taking a nap in the car and this is what he gets

that was horribly stressful its 3 am how am i supposed to sleep after that

to be fair, if i was rodolfo and liz didnt use the tazer, i would have just dragged gregório in front of arthur and killed him in right in front of his face soo...

ROLLED 100 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL a caverna

COOL GUY ALERT HOPE HE DOESNT KILL BRULIO HAHAhahaaa

EP 6 I HAVE GREAT ANXIETY THIS MESTRE GUY IS ABOUT TO KILL HALF THE SQUAD

luba i know youve been rolling absolute dog shit the last 5 episodes but this one really counts buddy brulio :(

most stressful hour of youtube ive ever sat through i cant believe they all lived

A PORTA FORTE

EP 7 im so glad they're going back to the house im so happy ive never wanted anything else this is great nothing could go wrong in this house nothing

7 episodes in and ive just now realised that he keeps talking about circles and spirals and those have significance with a certain element and now i want them to leave carpazinha go back home forget this ever happened

undressing with the homies in the haunted basement next to a dead old man

not thiago canonically talking to a bookshelf after complaining about joui's whispering to his shotgun

THIS GRAVE IS SO COMPLICATEDDDD I BET ITS FUCKING EMPTY THEYRE ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO "knock out" AN OLD LADY AND ITS PROBABLY JUST WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAVEEE

this whole graveyard scene has me in tears thiago staring at nothing while they try to get him to unmute, old guy on the phone, joui picking up the old lady i just laughed so hard i feel ill

the one time joui doesnt fail a roll he loses 6 SANITY?? 8 SANITY?????????????? SENHORA VOCE TA BEM????? YOU JUST CHOKED HER OUT JOUI WAIT SHES GONNA DIE??????????? SHES GOING TO DIE???????????? THE GASOLINE IN THE MOUTH??

grounded from the shotgun for 1 week

EP 8

Thiago's pants are still fucked up from last episode btw

about to have a tpk over alchohol poisoning

if cesar survives this campaign hes gonna put as many points possible into forgery

a caverna im goign fuckign crazy the god of tdeath pr spomething is in this cave theyre gonna walk inside trip on a pebble and get eaten by hundreds of tiny cave beetles

Victor is absolutely about to get his face eated by a spider and/or be swallowed by the cave

ok but santo berço looks kinda cool like i would live there

EP 9 he just (re?)released osnf merch but i refuse to be spoiled by absolutely anything ive done so well i will not be tainted by cesar's really cool green on black long sleeve

wait i love the gatekeeper its a shame this town is probably a hallucination and theyre all actually slowly dying in the middle of the forest GIANT COWS I LOVE THE GIANT COWS WITH REGULAR SIZED HEADS

????????????????????????????????FELPS??????????????????????

buttery butter

thiago this is why you should have quit smoking

?????FELPS?????????

EP 10 so if thiago hadnt used the lighter would felps still be alive, probably just would have died later B)

bro joui has got to buy new dice this is crazy

this is gonna be the average 2 star motel experience BRO JUST DABBED ON CESAR liz is about to get bodied by the hallway ghosts this is just like a regular motel HUH UHHHHHHH

no joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy

mom i want to go home i dont want to stay in santo berço anymore jesus christ

EP 11 how am i supposed to just start the next episode after that i think the mental image of brulio beating arthurs skull in is burned into my brain space

sandwich sandwich

i love the giant cows so much i want one GIANT CHICKEN LAY GIANT EGG I LOVE THE GIANT CHICKEN intimidating the human sized pig

EP 12 still thinking about how cellbit thought new zealand was so close to europe, he was so sure of it that he was making me unsure of where i knew new zealand was

both times thiago was played by cellbit some horrific shit happened so with arthur being an npc this episode im prepared for the worst also this starting soon screen is fucking wicked

are you telling me joui's max sanity is now 12 bros been losing it for so long hes stuck like this joui is the "damn, you live like this?" meme

CELLBO ROLEPLAYED TOO HARD HIS HEADSET JOINED AS AN ENEMY AND BEAT HIS SETUP

"that sounds like a book title" bro let the intrusive thought win

baby nidere

no way the cow has been suffering this whole time ill cry

theyre about to rp their way into an angry medieval mob when they get found with the body of the dead gatekeeper B) does santo berço have dungeons, bc if they do thats where theyll be sleeping tonight nvm the gatekeeper has demons inside him sorry joui HUh no way they killed the gatekeeper dude wtf

EP 13 chat's a bit excited to go in the cave guys if anyone reads this what am i supposed to do once i finish this season. what do you mean i just have to go onto desconjuração. what do you mean i have to leave this story behind. please let me keep all the characters in this one.

THE CAVE MAP IS COOOOOOL THE LIGHT MOVES WITH THE MINER everyone struggling to flip their characters 5 mins into the cave made me laugh so hard i had to pause to breathe

I LOVE MOLES DUDE THEYRE SO COOL ok but i dont love this many moles BRO I LOVE MOTHS TOO THIS IS AWESOME wait no i hate bats THIS MOTH IS SUFFERINGGGGG

THE SUCC hes about to kill them all with the Succ out of spite thiago never mock one of cellbit's monsters again ARTHUR ZIUM

door door door door door door door door door door the gatekeeper is alive???

ih arthur nah dude let go of cesar :(((((((((((( gotta hand it to arthur hes survived two of these situations now get it, hand it to him, CAUSE HE LOST HIS FUCKING ARM WTF HIS ARM DETATCH LIKE A LEGO sorry i vote we still kill the gatekeeper just in case just to be safe

EP 14 did cellbit have a past traumatic experience with a vacuum is that why he created the Succ

agatha?????? bro agatha's life sucked big pp

every time cellbit says hes excited for something i grow more afraid

if they kill and eat the gatekeeper would he also taste delicious just wondering

i think i might know the reason why 12 sanity joui has a funky grey form but 55 sanity thiago doesnt, but maybe im crazy nevermind thiago had the funky grey within him this whole time wait does that mean hes gonna die if santo berço dies DAMN

joui just really wants to see thiago naked also hes just blatantly stealing arthur's knife he really is losing all his sanity that was possibly the most unconvincing "nada" ive ever heard

EP 15 before i start a new episode i always go to the vod on twitch and watch the memes first so i can go "hehe" for five minutes, and then go "oh no" for the next 4 hours

hypothetically, if joui managed to get the symbol on him before anyone noticed would he have just lost all 12 of his sanity and gone mad cuz that would have been crazy :,)

this is it cellbit is finally going to kill npc thiago joui is so very happy about his shotgun i thought maybe he was getting better but hes whispering to it again

alright whats up with cellbit and the outwards opening doors because i swear i have never seen a door that opens out instead of in, are all the doors like that in his home these doors are made to have creatures attack from inside ih i just checked like 3 times to make sure i was on the right episode lmaoooo

"pobre martha" DAAAAAAMN MARIANA ICE COLD

one buff woman vs all 3 equipe kelvin who will win (1 woman) crazy that equipe kelvin managed to accomplish what took our group 9 episodes to get to lool they even got the leticio cacetinho dlc, but they did skip the spider boss fight and the entire house level

THE BLACKSMITH IS MIGUEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 16 the joui, liz, and arthur cosplay look like theyre going to a nice dinner meanwhile thiago, kenan, and cesar just look homeless

idk if thiago's making it out of this one :,) maybe we just take thiago's weapons its not like he can do much to help anyways kenan wants to skin him listen brother i dont think thats gonna work im at the 52 min mark and cellbit is acting sus af the blacksmith is about to appear and stomp them all or something

joui would roll a 99 and nearly knife cesar and liz is trying so hard not to metagame her way to the explosive backpack loving how trigger happy joui is right now go on guys give him more explosives what the worst that could happen

is kenan also a wellspring do they have to kill him cuz thats gonna be kind of awkward and on that note since thiago has the symbol on him does that make him a wellspring too ill cry i will cry

NOT JOUI APOLOGIZING FOR LYING ABOUT HIS SAMURAI ANCESTRY

damn that scene between joui, liz, and thiago was the best in the entire season

i would like to take this moment before they all get swallowed alive by some horrible sludge tentacle monster to proclaim my absolute hatred of Santo Berço. I know i said at the end of episode 8 that i thought it looked cool but im over it ive moved past that point in my life i hate Santo Berço

BIG GOOEY MEATBALL

"the people are happy here!" says the blacksmith as he currently has 5 people forcefully locked up for decades that have gone mad with probably no way of ever regaining their sanity i just realised miguel and the old blacksmith fucked and had a kid

final boss aboutta come crawling out of the meatball please stop trying to skin thiago the symbol isnt gonna come off

THAT WAS SICK AF THEYRE ALL DEAD AS HELL

???????????????????? "kenan you have one last sane move before i take your character and throw him off a cliff"

:(

post i made after i finished osnf (made like 3 days later because i was so so so so so so so so so so sad)

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/739056899257942016/i-finished-osnf-after-almost-2-months-and-you-know?source=share

[luna-the-bard]

this is an oc x canon lore dump, you've been warned

-> Act II

Just for organization purposes, I'm calling this Act I. I'll add links to other parts as (and if) i write them. Anyways let's hope Tumblr can fit 11 pages of text into one post! :)c

General lore:

Te’rra is a small planet that stopped participating in Big Space Politics about a century ago. Due to this, its existence has been forgotten by most.

It doesn't help that the planet is in the middle of fucking nowhere

It’s fine they chillin

The society populating the planet are called terraninans, and they are an avian species - humanoids with feathered wings and tails, and some other features like blue skin, striking, cat-like eyes, or elaborate skin patterns that are unique to each individual, akin to birthmarks.

Here’s a couple examples:

Note that the Head Priestess (pic. 1) lacks wings, which is normally not the case for the species. Lower image shows more patterning on parts of the body that aren’t the face (mainly arms).

Fun fact: this species is entirely female! This is not relevant to the story tho, so I won’t dwell on it.

The life expectancy of a terranian is somewhere around 1k years. There are old folk still alive who remember Te’rra before it isolated itself from the rest of the world.

Te’rra has pretty high levels of technological progress. However, culturally they put a large emphasis on co-existing with the ecosystem, which makes their technology rather different from what you would normally expect. There is a very developed culture of artisanry, with most goods being produced by individual masters or small guilds.

Main storyline:

Skeets is a relatively young terranian huntress. She is part of a small, about 10-person, hunting group - a common occurrence for her city, as they are located on the edge of a vast jungle. 

She is neither a newbie nor a master of her craft; her position is more akin to a promising junior - not quite ready to lead her own hunting group, but experienced enough to hold a certain amount of weight and respect among her peers.

Hunting groups normally alternate between staying close to the city and going further out into the jungle to balance out their impact on the flora/fauna. Skeets’s group has recently started going further out, as more experienced hunters.

Meanwhile, there is a Space Pirate ship that happened to be passing the planet - a rare occurrence, considering there were no trade routes nearby and ships of any sort were almost never seen in this sector of the galaxy. The Space Pirates were likely taking such an unusual route to avoid a police or military patrol; the reason is really not that important. Identically, it doesn’t matter why exactly the Space Pirates decided to take a closer look at the little blue planet before them, because the impact is the same nonetheless: the small hunting group that ventured a bit too far from the city catches their attention.

Skeets and her group were actually sent to investigate a disturbance in the ecosystem - because of course the Space Pirates have made quite a ruckus, scaring away the local wildlife. What was a result of their ship’s landing got mistakenly interpreted by the city’s lookout post as a sign of a large predator, which would have to be warded off to avoid causing damage to the area.

Unfortunately for everyone, it was not, in fact, a giant blue dino-chicken. 

The Space Pirates decide that “exotic” humanoids would fetch a good price on the black market - especially considering no one has seen their kind for almost a century, and most have forgotten what they look like. This leads to an ambush and the subsequent capture of Skeets’s hunting group.

Having got what they need and not wanting to attract more attention, the Pirates promptly take off; they’re gone from the planet before anyone has time to react. 

—-

Unfortunately for everyone. But especially the Pirates. The ship experiences an engine malfunction, forcing the Pirates to land on a desolate planet that has long been abandoned by civilization; in hopes of either fixing the engine or finding parts to fix it, the Pirates with their precious cargo have to descend into the deteriorated catacombs under the planet’s surface (as the surface itself is inhospitable). They make their home in an empty room that is still structurally sound and fairly close to the surface. It even has some of the basic technology still functioning, likely from an emergency power source (they attempt to locate it, but to no avail). The room only has one entrance, so it’s easy to guard; this was not the last reason on the list of priorities. The bunch of terranians are placed in that room for the same purpose - easy to make sure nothing gets in… or gets out.

Now, you were probably wondering why this circumstance is especially unlucky for the Pirates. As it turns out, the catacombs aren’t as desolate as they appeared. 

As the Pirates find out from their own experience, deeper in the catacombs dwells the apex predator of this planet; whether it’s a result of a genetic mutation or a creature native to the ecosystem is unclear. But the monster is at the top of the food chain for a reason; it’s fast, its spider-like lower body giving it the ability to climb walls and dwell on ceilings. Its limbs have a poison canal underneath each claw, making even minor wounds lethal - the only difference is that this death is much more slow and painful than getting mauled. The creature has a humanoid upper body, but there is nothing human about it: a demethor would be prettier; those at least lack rows of sharp, curved teeth and even more prominent fangs. Its mouth and skin can secrete a slimy substance saturated with its poison; it leaves a wet trail on the walls of tunnels it frequents most.

Not able to retreat back to the surface, and desperately needing to find resources to fix their ship, the Pirates are forced to witness their crewmates being plucked one by one each time they venture out into the planet’s depths; those who manage to escape are subjects to the unsightly fate of being slowly consumed by the poison. The creature knows these catacombs far better than the Pirates do; it calls them its home. The only reason Skeets and her kin are in relative safety is due to the lack of worthy prey closer to the surface - the spider-like abomination has no interest in rodents and other small animals that scurry along the industrial pipes. Terranians see the state in which the Pirates return from their missions; watch their numbers grow smaller and smaller. The ruins are cold, unwelcoming. While the Pirates have to deal with injuries and worry about their resources running low, their captives are faced with a survival issue of a different kind: none of them are suited for the climate. Te’rra is a warm planet. The temperature in the jungle never drops past zero or even close to it; it has no winter.  Hunters almost never have to go into freezing areas, and when they do, they are heavily equipped - a complete opposite of Skeets and her team, who were dressed very lightly. 

For most, it starts as a cold. The average body temperature of a terranian is slightly above human; it runs around 38-39 ℃, and being constantly exposed to the chilly, humid air of the catacombs is taking its toll on each of the ten captives. Colds grow into acute bronchitis; Skeets, who has been secretly sneaking out to look for resources, develops pneumonia.  Before it gets bad, she continues toying with fate: having a much smaller build than Space Pirates, she can fit into tight maintenance corridors and dried-out pipes. Those on guarding duty are delirious from poison, and sneaking out gets less and less challenging with time. Once, early on, she gets lucky and finds a sealed first-aid box - most of the things there expired long ago, but rubbing alcohol and bandages are still safe to use. She brings them back to mend some minor wounds received during the pirate ambush (they were so, so lucky to avoid any serious injuries). Later on, however, her condition worsens too much for her to continue. At this point, everyone is sick, and Skeets and some of her teammates are rapidly declining. The Pirate numbers are so small there is only one of them guarding the door; and even he is near-comatose from wounds and poison. The Pirates decide to take their chances and send out a distress signal - it’s better to get arrested by some Federation patrol than become food for the monster that lives below. Although, the Pirates hoped that the signal would attract a less armed, civilian ship - so they could kill the unsuspecting crew and get off this planet.

Fortunately for everyone but the Pirates themselves :)c the distress signal is received by a lone gunship that happened to be passing through the area. The gunship that, of course, belongs to the universe’s best bounty hunter - Samus Aran.

To no one’s surprise, Samus traverses the catacombs with ease. This is far from the first time she’s had to navigate a labyrinth of rooms and ruins. There is so little left of the Pirates that Samus almost gets suspicious of how… unchallenging it is to defeat them. Then she finds out the reason behind the Pirates’ weakness; whether or not she kills the arachnid creature is unknown. On her way back up, Samus finds one last Pirate - on the brink of death, guarding the entrance to a room. Compared to being slowly digested from the inside, death by Samus’s hand is almost an act of mercy for him.

However, instead of an ammo stash or a navigation room, Samus finds a bunch of very sickly-looking blue humanoids. The readings from her suit indicate that, although their species is not in her database, they clearly require medical attention - even more so since Samus doesn’t know that terranians have an above average body temperature, so to her their state is not much better than the Pirate’s. 

Luckily, the room is close enough to the surface for Samus to be able to contact A.D.A.M. without having to re-emerge. She sends out a request to the Federation - although, really, it’s much more like a firm order, - to direct a rescue vessel their way; she includes just the necessary minimum of information in her message - that there are about ten individuals, species unknown, in need of immediate medical attention; the coordinates of the planet; the instructions on where to safely enter the catacombs.

She does have to leave the terranians briefly, to clear out the path for medical personnel - the last thing she wants is them getting hurt by the local wildlife. She returns quickly, however, making sure that everyone is still there and that no one has declined to the state of comatose (luckily, things are not that dire).

—

It shouldn't surprise anyone that the ship the Galactic Federation sends is not an emergency vehicle. Or even a military patrol vessel. Or anyone directly affiliated with the Federation.

Because, simply put, the Federation officials are cheapskates. 

Why spend money and resources on sending a warship somewhere, when they could just find some cruiser that was the closest to the disclosed location? Paying a random merchant ship is much cheaper than paying for all that fuel.

So, the ship that enters the planet’s atmosphere is not full of paramedics; in fact, there are only two doctors on board, the minimum legal requirement for a small merchant ship like theirs.

Samus has to cast her frustration aside and work with what she’s got. Terranians get evacuated from the catacombs; some on their own two feet, some - on a stretcher, being too weak from fever to properly walk. In case of the latter, the doctors have to make several trips - there’s only one stretcher (they never needed more). When they descend into the catacombs the third time, Samus, who has to accompany the doctors for safety reasons (she already cleared out the path, but it’s better to be safe than sorry), decides that she doesn’t want to do this a fourth time. There are only two terranians left that still needed to be carried to the merchant ship. One of them is being carefully placed onto the stretcher by the medical personnel. The other has spent the entire time that Samus has been there huddled alone in the furthest corner of the room. 

At this point in time it should be obvious to you that the one in the corner is Skeets. The reason she’s distanced herself from others as much as possible is because she is sick. More than others - her pneumonia worsened violently due to her frequently exposing herself to the cold of the tunnels. She was doing her best to not pass it onto others - somewhat successfully, I must note - the other three terranians who were in a similar state suffered from acute bronchitis, not pneumonia.

Not willing to make another trip through the catacombs, Samus simply picks the little avian up - her suit is enough to avoid the biohazard, she is in no danger of getting sick. In a different setting having both her hands - arms? - full would compromise the crew’s safety, but having made close to five trips down and back, Samus knows that there is nothing dangerous left on their path. So she simply trails behind the medics and their stretcher until they’re back on the surface.

No one wants to stay there longer than necessary - the atmosphere is mildly toxic, and it is not recommended to be out in the open for more than a couple hours - the toxins would accumulate in the body. Thus, the two doctors situate their new passengers as fast as they can - and this is where the first issue arises.

In the best traditions of fictional tropes, they are one bed short. 

It’s a small merchant ship. They’ve done what they could. Took in as many people as safety regulations allowed - and even if they could take in one more, their medical bay was simply not equipped for handling this large of a number of people. They would simply not have enough medication.

The nearest multispecies hospital is a week away from this desolate planet. It would just be futile to try and accommodate everyone - someone would inevitably decline beyond what they could heal in that timeframe.

Samus, on the other hand.

Surely, in her line of work, she had to be as self-sufficient as possible and equip her gunship with top-quality medical equipment and supplies?

Judging by the size of it, she can take in one more person no problem. So do you really have a choice, Samus Aran? Are you going to let someone unfamiliar into your personal space because she desperately needs your help, or are you going to refuse and have that on your conscience for the rest of your life when, inevitably, someone dies?

If you don’t know the answer to this, you don’t know Samus, lol.

The second issue surfaces right before Samus is about to bring Skeets over to her ship. 

None among the present know what species they just rescued. There is an apparent language barrier. Skeets, barely even conscious from fever, is still able to see what’s happening -  and draw her own conclusions.

The Pirates disappeared.

There are new, unfamiliar people, and they took all of her kin into their ship - she can’t understand a word they’re saying, and thus their intentions are unknown.

Sure, there are what seem to be medics - but is that really a sign that they are coming to their rescue?

After all, someone who illegally buys sentient creatures to show off their wealth would want their new exotic decor to be in good, presentable shape.

It doesn’t help that she, alone, is not joining her group. No, she is held firmly by someone else - the same person that first entered their shelter. Tall. Imposing. Armed.

Perhaps the mystery byer only wanted nine specimens. Or could afford just this many.

It’s not unusual to divide the product and sell it to several highest bidders, is it?

Samus is almost taken by surprise when the frail, sickly creature in her arms tries to struggle free. Almost. For someone with her reflexes, however, this is more of an annoyance than anything - all she has to do is adjust her grip so that the alien doesn’t accidentally hurt herself.

It is rather uncomfortable, however, when someone you’re carrying is frantically flapping her wings and trying to wriggle out of your grasp. It is also even more annoying when said someone is desperately scratching at your suit - this doesn’t leave so much as a scratch, the powersuit is so much more durable than claws, but the prospect of it is still… irritating. 

Skeets doesn’t stop thrashing around after her first failed attempt to break free. She has to do something, she has no choice - how could she just let someone separate her and her kin? They were all she had left; they depended on her. They could be facing a fate far more terrible than starving to death in abandoned catacombs.

So she scratched. And she kicked and she flapped her wings and she tried everything she could to get away, get back to her group - to her people, whom she may never see again - until she could do it no longer. Until her body harshly reminded her that she was ill; that adrenaline alone is not enough to fight someone far stronger than you.

And so Skeets cried.

She wasn’t trying to accomplish anything with her tears. They weren’t a tool, or a message, or anything intentional at all - they were tears of frustration; tears of powerlessness; tears of anger and tears of giving up; they were the kind of tears that you simply have to cry, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

She did not expect her carrier to stop.

Samus was beyond capable. She was The Ultimate Protector, she was a top-class bounty huntress, she was an unmatched warrior; she’s been on the brink of death and came back, she has saved entire planets and, on the larger scale, the galaxy as a whole, she knew how to survive and get through the most hostile of environments, and then save the universe on top of that.

She had no idea what to do with feelings.

Even less so when she had no ability to verbally communicate. Samus understood that she had to do something, it has become apparent that the girl in her arms was in intense distress, and she couldn’t put it off until they’re at her ship anymore. Sure, she could just ignore the issue and keep walking to her ship, but that would likely only create more problems - ones she would have to deal with until she can find a way to communicate what she was doing. (Which would take weeks; she’d have to identify the girl’s species of find someone who could identify it, then find a translator or at least a textbook on their language, learn said language, all the while potentially fighting off a scared avian who she’s supposed to be treating so she wouldn’t die on her before they got to a hospital - it was clearly a better course of action to solve the problem now).

Regardless of how much Samus would like to get back to her ship and get this whole ordeal over with, she walks back to the merchants. The two doctors are standing at the entrance ramp, talking - no, gesturing, - to one of the rescued aliens. This must be one of the less sick ones - even so, one of the medics has her arm over his shoulder, supporting her weight. The other is holding up a small screen; when Samus gets closer, she can see that the screen is actually a drawing pad filled with doodles. The doodles are… ugly, but readable, and Samus takes note of this being a working form of communication - at least the alien seems a lot more calm and composed than the one currently shivering in her arms. Samus mirrors one of the doctors, carefully lowering her burden so she can stand - still, however, firmly holding her so she doesn’t fall. Even so, the girl can barely stand - but at the moment this was far less important than making sure she can get an explanation of what’s happening. 

It works - even without the help of the crude drawing of nine beds and ten stick figures (no offense to the doctor), the other person immediately starts talking in an unfamiliar language, the avian that Samus is holding answering in a hoarse, strained voice. Samus pretends her and the medic’s arms aren’t in the way when the two aliens awkwardly hug and put their foreheads together. She even ignores the fact that that’s a biohazard - honestly, she just wants to get outta here.

Which she eventually gets to do; finally being able to carry the exhausted alien girl to her ship, get her bed set up with medical equipment (she has to dig out an oxygen can), and leaving the planet. 

Samus charts a course to the nearest hospital and prepares an array of medications - from fever reducers to cough suppressants to an IV (all of the aliens are malnourished and dehydrated after spending a month in the ruins; the Space Pirates didn’t exactly provide them with a five-star buffet, if you know what I mean).

She makes peace with the fact that she’s going to sleep in her pilot’s chair for the next week, since her bed is taken; one thing that kind of compensates for this is the opportunity to research a species she’s never seen before. Samus is a nerd at heart (if Prime logs are any indication), so diving head-first into research is a nice way to spend her time while she has to care for her passenger. Besides, she’ll have to at least try to learn her language. Out of necessity, of course, simply to be able to communicate - this is what she tells herself, but we all know it’s not the only reason, haha.

Now, some closing notes for Act I: 

This storyline takes place after Fusion, but before Dread (closer to Fusion in the timeline). 

Samus definitely saw something vaguely resembling her suit in the doctor’s doodles. It was lopsided and had her arm cannon on the wrong side

The terranian they were communicating with is the leader of the hunting group; Skeets sees her as a mentor figure

Due to being a solely female species, terranians don’t really have a concept of gender. They don’t even have words for it (or men lmao) - when they need to describe a male specimen (like some insect or mammal that inhabits the jungle) they just say something like “non-female” or “opposite” or some other word (I’m still working on a better term for it bc I came up with this literally just now) (also this is completely unrelated to the storyline, just a fun lore fact)

This ship was born before I even knew what metroid was. A friend of mine was infodumping about it, and I thought: Hey, most people probably ship this Samus gal with other humans or themselves; looks to me like she needs a cute alien wife

And so Skeets was made. Literally because I decided to be Not Like Other Girls™ . You're welcome people✌️

-> Act II

[alltheangstmygifttoyou]

I can barely use tumblr without it crashing and this ain't what I usually put on my blog but I dont care bc I'm excited and want to throw ideas into the void!!! So under the cut will be SPOILERS for Helluva Boss all episodes released to this day (9/9/23 having season 2 episode 6 posted and the date of me typing this post). Cool? Cool.

Edit: (its now 12/10/23 and I see I never posted this lmao its just in my drafts. Which I have like fifty of 😅)

Okay okay so like: I'm a nerd who's an obsessive little bitch at times and when Fizz was explaining his side of events I was like... I'm not calling you a liar, 'cause Blitzø was definitely jealous, at least a bit, but I dont think jealousy over fame caused the biggest strain. So I went back through the episode slowly and took some screen shots of the flashback parts to show a bit what I mean.

[Image description: Cash Buckzo smiling as young adult Fizz reads card with words on the front saying "Wish you were My So" with Fizz's hand blocking the last letter. In the background of the image young adult Blitzø is watching behind curtains unhappily]

Pretty sure we can all tell that card really saying "wish you were my son" seeing how we know Cash is a shit father from season 2 episode 1. The deep blue (personally reminds me of space) and star decorations of the card are also an interesting choice, as well as the handwriting. It all points to Cash either having other people doing work for him, or being capable of doing these things himself, but not caring enough to similarly educate his kid in turn. So its no fucking wonder why Blitzø was upset! Theres a difference in wanting the spot light and wanting your parent to act like they love you instead of your bestest friend! (As someone who was the bestest friend at one point shit ain't comfortable!)

So Blitzø sees this shit and feels understandably hurt. I would too. He has a letter for Fizz, but logical or not, the hurt caused by Cash would sour emotions around Fizz for Blitzø for a little bit likely. So he removed himself from the situation before really ever entering, and with the shove he gave the cake holder and the talk of booze stealing from Cash later in the episode, I have to imagine that was his way of trying to not ruin Fizz's party. Blitzø throughout the series has been a bit quick to violence, volatile emotions would just worsen things. In some sense, if the fire hadn't gotten out of hand so quickly- or they waited until the cake was settled to light the candles, I'd argue Blitzø was making a more emotional mature decision than I normally think of him.

But then theres the card and flower itself. Its sealed with a heart sticker and says "Fizz's eyes only". The flower looks familiar. Five red petals all coming together to a yellow eye like center. Reminds me of the flowers in Stolas' hospital room in season 2 episode 4 Western Energy. People theorized that those petals dropping had something to do with the whole he loves me he loves me not game. The nature of these twos relationship is interesting.

I included these four screen shots because I think they emphasize the hurt Blitzø felt, his confusion, but mainly to point out Cash. When all the charecters are silhouettes we see one that is clearly Blitzø standing under Fizz's birthday banner. But behind him, one of the last sprinting out of the tent is a partly hidden silhouette. But the horn, head, hand/claws, and mustache make it clear that this is Cash once again. But when we see from a more street view Blitzø is alone when the explosion of fireworks happened. Doesn't this imply that Cash just not only left the kid who he wished was his son but also his blood son behind despite all he needed to do was grab them and push them to run?

[aceofwhump]

Question is the legacy editor any good? I've never used it because I'm paranoid about it messing my posts up lmao but I'm curious

The short answer is yes. Legacy editor, the older way tumblr did posting, is in my opinion, the superior editor. I love the legacy editor. A lot. It is definitely superior and I'm sad staff has decided to slowly get rid of it.

However! With that said I've been pretty much exclusively using the beta post editor for the last like year when staff announced that they'd be eliminating the legacy editor eventually so I thought it'd be a good idea to get used to the beta editor. Which I suppose I did. I've gotten used to it and don't use legacy much at all anymore. I also wanted to use it because I got really tired of not being able to edit in mobile the posts I made on web using the legacy editor. With the beta editor you can edit across platforms which is soooo nice. (although it appears that in one of the apps many updates I can now edit a gifset I made today via legacy editor but not the posts I've made in the past using the legacy editor so who knows what's going with that).

But there's a lot of annoying things about the new beta editor that make it inferior to the legacy editor and I'm praying that staff will improve it. For starters, and probably my biggest complaint, is how awful it is to upload and rearrange images. It's so much easier in legacy editor to move images around. In beta the page moves when you start to move the image and it drives me CRAZY!!! I always end up putting the image in the wrong place because the page won't stop moving! Legacy is wonderful to arrange images. I do think the upload is slightly better in beta purely because it uploads multiple images in the order I select them where the legacy just puts them in whatever order it wants to and I have to remember what order I wanted my gifs in.

Legacy is also better because it actually differentiates between an image post and a text post. With the beta editor everything is technically a test post. So my gifsets are not considered an "image post". Some people have noted that the beta, since it's not an image post, it resizes the images a little and sometimes decreases the quality of the gif by doing that. I haven't really noticed that myself with my own gifs but doesn't mean it isnt happening.

The legacy editor also allows me to upload my gifs without stupid errors for no reason. Lately any time I upload more than 6 gifs at once I get an error message and have to upload them one by one. Its not because of size because they're always under 7mbs so I don't know why I can't upload them all at once. I hate it actually. And sometimes my gif will be under 10mbs (like 9.7mbs) and it'll tell me that the gif is too big. Excuse me tumblr but 9.7 is smaller than 10! I never had this problem in legacy.

The legacy editor is also better when it comes to using html, inserting links as text and not the stupid thing beta does where you paste the link and it becomes that stupid post preview thing that I hate, and oh my god is it awful for text blocks! When it first came out you couldnt select multiple texts blocks at all. You can now but it isn't the easiest. And it like expands when you do and makes it weird. Idk it's hard to describe. In legacy you can just...select all the text with no problems. Text blocks are treated like individual sections in the beta and make editing a major pain in the ass.

I also don't like thst apparently new xkit won't work in beta and you have to use xkit rewritten because fuck I don't want to learn how to use that one when I've been using new xkit for years but I guess I'm gonna have to now. I haven't been having any problems with xkit yet but who knows....

So yeah I think overall legacy is better. Beta Post Editor has some good things (I like the increased image upload limit, the editing tags is good) about it but there's so many problems. Unfortunately we're stuck with it so I've been sticking to using it exclusively to make the transition easier on myself. I do suggest becoming used to how it works and to just continue to provide feedback to staff about features we dislike or bugs we come across. Hopefully they'll listen and improve it.

[starlightaxolotl]

I posted 5,955 times in 2022

That's 3,077 more posts than 2021!

371 posts created (6%)

5,584 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cloudyy-skyys

@fabro-de-omres

@emberprince

@todorokitops

@fanficmemes

I tagged 1,007 of my posts in 2022

#writing process - 31 posts

#starlight streams - 20 posts

#ask game - 19 posts

#fnaf - 14 posts

#fnaf security breach - 12 posts

#michael afton - 12 posts

#ninjago - 11 posts

#writing - 9 posts

#fnaf sb - 9 posts

#spoilers - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i could outline it with a very neat little ending or i can leave it open for additional content but that’s for later 2022 me to figure out

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

AU where every season of ninjago after 10 is the same except Kai is just a cardboard cut out

13 notes - Posted March 22, 2022

#4

Write paragraphs, you'll know when it's time to change them the same way you know when to stop adding seasoning to your food. Listen to your heart, find what fits your story's flow the best.

13 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

#3

I’m always thinking abt this image

15 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#2

Things I don’t see the security breach fans talk about probably because I don’t know if you can notice this without cheats but the fact that when Moon is crawling after you in the play structures their legs are backwards. Their upper torso is turned around and they are crawling on their hands normally but their legs are crab walking them around.

17 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

💘🔁😊!!

a grave mistake??? do tell!!!!!! >:)

You know exactly what cursed mistake almost happened. >:( Tumblr is trying to see me fail.

💘:A fic you couldn’t stop reading once you started

Encore! This fic reached through my screen, gripped my shirt and forced me to keep reading and the only break I took was to sob for 30 minutes over exactly 14 words. I didn't want to go to bed that night and literally read it until my eyes burned and everything was blurry. I should reread this fic and comment on every chapter, just to see what I notice on a second read through.

🔁: A fic you’ve re-read several times

First one that comes to mind is Meet Again, it is just so easy to get lost inside this fic and it always hits the emotional spot. And the writing is amazing. I think about the fact that I read it, looked at the word count and said out loud "what the fuck that felt so short" when it is, in fact, not short at all. It was so well crafted and never dragged at all.

😊: A fic that made you smile on a bad day

Okay there are so many I can think of to put in this spot.

Laughing At Tragedy is such a good one oh my god. I probably shouldn't smile reading this fic because holy hell is it not a fluffy fic at all but its the way that the soft moments are interspersed in the plot that makes it such a comfort fic. This fic is my literary chicken and rice soup on a cold winters day. @inkspottie has crafted such a good fic and I literally could go on for hours about this fic. I am emotionally attached to their Michael.

My Darling Little Prince is another fic. Quite literally came out on a day I needed some comfort and it has been so nice to read. I don't read a lot of RWBY fanfics but this one has a very special place in my bookmarks now.

Last one I swear but Sunspot! was an impulse read and I'm so glad I read it. I think it's just really sweet and fun.

39 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cumaeansibyl]

I posted 2,272 times in 2022

That's 496 more posts than 2021!

206 posts created (9%)

2,066 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@velociraptors-in-hats

@ysabelfaerie

@ratsintherosebush

@callmebliss

@indieninja92

I tagged 952 of my posts in 2022

#leave immediately and wait in the car - 138 posts

#oh no babies - 56 posts

#louis - 45 posts

#anathema - 37 posts

#always reblog - 28 posts

#food - 28 posts

#laugh rule - 25 posts

#boogers! - 23 posts

#bangerz - 15 posts

#check out my face - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i've put so much power in this man's hands... faith that he wants me as i am... faith that he won't use me or trade me in for a newer model

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

One of the funnier things about Goncharov to me is that that image is two years old, it's been on Tumblr for a long time. How did everyone decide that now is the time to initiate the fandom?

278 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#4

See the full post

349 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#3

idk if anyone's been following the ThedaCare case in Wisconsin but a judge lifted the absurd TRO and the seven health care workers can go work their new jobs

if you haven't been following it, this filing by defendant Ascension lays out the facts of the issue clearly and concisely, to wit: ThedaCare didn't pay its employees enough, seven of their employees, responded to open job ads posted by Ascension, and Ascension hired them. ThedaCare, instead of either offering more money or moving to hire replacements, waited a whole month and then filed an "emergency" lawsuit screaming that Ascension stole their employees and if they didn't get them back immediately everyone would die. Some dumb motherfucker of a judge who needs to be recalled granted a temporary restraining order that would ban the seven workers from reporting to their new jobs until the lawsuit was resolved, even though ThedaCare had no apparent intention of scheduling said workers for shifts.

Which is why Ascension comes straight out the gate with one of the clearest "plaintiff's a lying sumbitch and we can prove it" lines I've ever seen in a legal filing:

But this emergency is also of ThedaCare’s making in a second, much more troubling sense: ThedaCare has invented the emergency ostensibly justifying this lawsuit. As the facts will show, allowing seven health care workers to leave ThedaCare for the hospital of their choosing — Ascension’s St. Elizabeth Hospital, not even seven miles away — will not plunge the Fox Valley into a critical care crisis, as ThedaCare claims. St. Elizabeth already offers the medical services at issue, just without the fancy designation ThedaCare appears to view as a better use of funds than paying its workers. And Green Bay is and will remain available as a backup option—no need for diversion to Milwaukee or Madison. In short, this emergency is entirely of ThedaCare’s making because ThedaCare is making it up. [emphasis in the original, holy shit]

381 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#2

I don't give a fuck if your food has GMOs in it, what I want to know is if you paid anyone involved in farming or processing it a living wage

Where's my cute little logo for that

2,214 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Every time people talk about putting billionaires to the guillotine I'm thinking "in this scenario where you can execute the richest people on the planet you can clearly do whatever you want, so just take their money"

I personally think it would be way funnier to stick Bezos and Musk and them in bland middle class lives like Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas, it's a perfectly good life if you aren't accustomed to being able to buy entire political parties or go to space or command a herd of creepy little followers who would probably literally kill for you

Want these chumps to suffer? Make them unimportant.

38,325 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[enjolraspermettendo]

Ho postato 2.449 volte nel 2022

361 post creati (15%)

2.088 post rebloggati (85%)

Blog che ho rebloggato di più:

@earthbound-in-doubt

@mossadspydolphin

@hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon

@localfruitt

@herequeerandcantdrinkbeer

Ho taggato 357 dei miei post nel 2022

#les miserables - 64 post

#les mis sunday quote - 37 post

#les mis - 11 post

#grantaire - 9 post

#3;4;1 - 8 post

#enjoltaire - 7 post

#enjolras - 7 post

#combeferre - 4 post

#1;7;3 - 3 post

#i mean - 2 post

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#now i'm struggling in my last year of highschool because i can't keep up with the teacher while taking notes and i rely on my friends notes

I miei post migliori nel 2022:

#5

Me? A favorite book, you say?

What gave it away?

102 note - Postate 11 luglio 2022

#4

He's a 10 but he places his bed with the head facing south and the foot facing north because he thinks the magnetic current between the poles will disrupt his blood circulation

126 note - Postate 28 agosto 2022

#3

I have been suddenly struck by the image of a very frustrated Enjolras and an even more frustrated Combeferre, who has to deal with Enjolras. So Combeferre is like "have you ever tried letting out your emotions in an artistic way" and Enjolras is like "does graffiti count" and Combeferre is like "no, not if its just a slogan, Enjolras" and signs him up for a pottery class.

That day Combeferre goes to pick him up and here comes out Enjolras, giddy beyond belief, 100% satisfied with his work, abd presents an incredibly realistic, life-like reproduction of his own hand flipping the bird.

Ferre: "ehm, what is that?"

Enj: "It's my hand! Telling people to fuck off!"

Ferre: "but why?"

Enj: "Well, I didn't know what to make, and the teacher's aid came over and asked me what I wanted to exteriorate, so I told him I wanted people to fuck off and he said to do that! So I'm flipping the bird!"

Ferre: "oh, nice. I love it, it's very good"

Enj: "yeah, and the guy was so cute"

...

Enj: "can we leave this in front of Javert's house?"

Ferre: "I mean, it's your artwork. Do whatever you want".

When Enjolras goes back next week here is R, the aid, looking furious, because he put a sticker with his number on the bottom of the hand, and Javert called him berating him for disturbing the piece with his vulgar hand, so he's demanding a date in compensation.

A month later they leave BOTH their hands outside Javert's house.

130 note - Postate 10 novembre 2022

#2

He's a 10 but he gets compared to Tholomyes

165 note - Postate 28 agosto 2022

Il mio post numero 1 del 2022

Hector in movies and other adaptations: Paris, my beloved brother, I won't let any harn come to you, I will protect you

Hector in the Iliad: Paris you fucking bitch, if I get the chance I'll kill you myself you stupid piece of shit

353 note - Postate 17 luglio 2022

Guarda ora l'Analisi del tuo anno 2022 di Tumblr →

[blue-shaded]

I really wish the "TransTrender" thing would go away already. Kuddos to those people who are actually Trans and aren't claiming to be for attention. I have since 2014 seen so many people on this hellsite and Discord pretend to be Trans and claim they have DiD/System. They think it's fun getting attention and really double down on it but I always tend to find their Facebooks they forget about and find out 9/10 that they have a perfectly normal life and don't struggle for anything they claimed to suffer daily from. I've never outed anyone to their families on social media and I never will. I do however gather lots of evidence and speak to them in private. I let them know that I know they have been lying to everyone and they need to either confess and come clean or I'll post my proof of them faking everything for all of our friends to see. They normally come clean within a day or two and yes while they may never talk to me again. I see it as a win for the community as a whole. We don't need attention seeking liars giving actual Trans people a bad image. These kids are toxic and if they are willing to go this far for attention I actually fear for our future.

I do see a lot of people pretending to be a system on tumblr, haven't seen much 'transtrenders' luckily. What also really upsets me is that people pretend to be autistic. Like cool for you that you like stim toys and that they calm you down but dont put my diagnosis as a quirky label on yourself just because you bought a fidget spinner recently. its fucked up.

[catlady5001]

I posted 12,497 times in 2022

That's 4,024 more posts than 2021!

64 posts created (1%)

12,433 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rioted-choas

@plusultrachaos

@starcloud-nova

@lunalucrea

@takeyamayuu

I tagged 746 of my posts in 2022

#asks - 40 posts

#ask games - 30 posts

#my writing - 20 posts

#ask bait - 20 posts

#catlady posts - 10 posts

#ask game - 9 posts

#unreality - 9 posts

#thanks for the ask griffin!! - 8 posts

#anon - 8 posts

#image described - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i am so sorry i haven’t gotten time to read it yet but i promise i’m gonna leave the longest comment ever to make up for it!! i wanna make

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

tag game!

rules: write 3 sentences on your personal writing project, post them, then tag 3 people!

thanks for tagging me @granny-griffin :D

Eijirou couldn’t help but let a tear or two slip.

“You guys are the manliest,” he declared. “Seriously.”

this fic's a fun one lol

no pressure tags! @plusultrachaos @lunalucrea @starcloud-nova my beloveds

10 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#4

shinsoushinsoushinsou (for the hc ask game)

:D ty for the ask!!

hc a: realistic - adult!shinsou grows out his hair to match aizawa's!

hc b: not realistic, but hilarious - stray cats follow shinsou around like he's catnip, so he keeps cat food on his person to feed them, but that entices more cats, so its a

hc c: heart-crushing, awful, but fun to inflict upon friends - hitoshi was in a bunch of, frankly awful, foster homes, and he made friends with all the small children by protecting them :') (not canon at all but very angsty haha)

hc d: unrealistic to canon, but fuck canon - when shinsou goes pro, he's going to join aizawa's agency

13 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#3

this is so funny enough people said “I’d love to make people see my horrible posts with their own eyes” and tumblr made it an actual feature

13 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

#2

put your teeth into it

by Catlady5001

insoired by @portraitoftheoddity’s amazing art!!

“What’s your quirk, son?” Miyagi-sensei asks again.

Hitoshi steels himself and drags his gaze back up. “I… don’t have a quirk.”

On his first day at Aldera Junior High, Shinsou Hitoshi lies about being quirkless. This has some... unexpected consequences.

Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

Gen

Fandom:

僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Relationships:

Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi

Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi

Characters:

Shinsou Hitoshi

Midoriya Izuku

Bakugou Katsuki

Background & Cameo Characters

Additional Tags:

Minor Original Character(s)

Pre-Canon

Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Kid Shinsou Hitoshi

Kid Midoriya Izuku

Foster Kid Shinsou Hitoshi

Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi Friendship

See the full post

25 notes - Posted January 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

New Year’s tag game!!

name one good thing that happened in 2021, whether it was a personal achievement or just something fun you did!! anything good goes!! tag however many people you want :D

92 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[soonsluv]

rain my babyyyy heyyy!!!

ahhh omg i missed you 💖 i understand you didn't want to make me feel pressured, but dw you couldnt!

and oof omg ppl still aren't understand the importance of reblogs, huh.... it's not that hard, not every social media works like instagram 🙃 as someone who used to make content on tumblr (gifs) i relate sm with all the posts that have been going around. I loved giffing, but putting in +3 hours of work into a gifset only for it to have like... 10 likes.... and zero interaction.... really sucks lmao (painful)

i haven't been in tumblr in yearsss, but when I started stanning svt i came back fkdnsk i still need to go around and patch things up to be able to reblog things into my blog, but I've been extra councious about leaving comments while i work on it. I honestly can't understand what ppl think is so hard about INTERACTING.... i blame instagram fkdndm there you only double click and move on, i think ppl forgot that communities can't be held solely based on a like button

- 😺 anon

gato sweetheart<33 i’m so happy to hear from you again🥹

don’t even get me started…. that anon literally didn’t give a shit about what i thought, they just wanted to get on my nerves. when they said: “you just said abunch of words and said nothing at the same time tbh. ‘i can tell this ur not a wwirter' i dont write but i post images/moodboards of various topics. tags are way interaction happens. laso how else do you think i found your blog? thats right tags since the tagging on tumblr is not the disastor you make it out to be. reblogs are just annoying since, its not gonna leave the fandom circle since the people who want to see it will see it, tags are how new people find your posts” i was about to get violent bc despite me giving them MULTIPLE reasons as to why reblogs are important, they said i was talking out of my ass and told ME, A WRITER that THEY, A NON WRITER thought that the tagging system on tumblr worked perfectly find when there are so many posts out there that prove otherwise and they obviously wouldn’t know that bc they aren’t a writer like WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TALK TO ME LIKE IM STUPID?? if you want to be an asshole and refuse to reblog then fucking go ahead and shut the fuck up while you’re at it.

i’m getting heated just thinking about that interaction omds…

anyways, im glad i’m not crazy or anything, thank you for agreeing w me!

[thiefnessman]

eeby deeby origins

Update: now with image descriptions courtesy of @better-image-descriptions ! TLDR at the end

So basically i was going to make a post explaining eeby deeby, but then I was doing Meme Research and discovered that my previous claim that the elevator eeby deeby meme and the “your dick cold” eeby deeby meme are unrelated is actually false!

So, if you look up eeby deeby you will be taken to this Know Your Meme page, which may confuse you more, and seems completely unrelated. basically the eeby deeby meme documented here was someone editing a comic panel to make a joke about robot penises? the “eeby deeby” here is supposed to be like, robot noises or something.

[Image description: An edited comic panel of a man and a robot. The man says, “Your dick cold.” The robot, from behind him says, “Eeby deeby”. /End ID]

EDIT: it turns out this is a comic of Buck Rogers, which had a TV show in the 70s. The robot here, Twiki, apparently makes an “eeby deeby” noise a lot (usually written out as “bidibidi”). I found a clip of this on youtube here. (thank you to @accumulus​ for this information!)

update 2/13: I think i found the original panel (put link to post here):

[image description: the same comic panel as before, but with the original dialogue. The man says “Good! Hang on tight! Here we go!”. The robot says “Where? To certain doom?”. /end ID]

The current eeby deeby meme originated from this image of a weird elevator display:

[Image description: A picture of an elevator screen saying “Eeby deeby” with an arrow pointing upward. There’s text above the image saying “Where the fuck is this thing taking me”. /End ID]

So i was like “ok these things are unrelated it’s just that they happen to contain the same nonsense phrase”.

But then I tried to find the original post of the elevator image, so I googled “where the fuck is this thing taking me” and got this tweet from 2018:

[ID: The same photo as the second, but the elevator screen says, “uwu” with an arrow pointing upward. /End ID]

This appears to have been its own meme, but I haven’t heard of it before today. Seeing as these photos are identical except for the text display, the eeby deeby image is an edit of the UwU elevator joke. Edit 2/18: There is more to the UwU elevator meme than I have here, and this photo is probably an edit as well, but this post has honestly gotten long enough already so I’m not including much about it, even though I probably should. This post has gotten to the point that several old versions are the more circulated ones (a lot of people are reblogging it without the info about Twiki) so I guess it doesn’t matter.

So I reverse image searched the eeby deeby elevator image: (sidenote: look at what happened when i did:)

[ID: A google reverse image search of the Eeby deeby elevator photo. There is text saying, “Possible related search: grunge photography aesthetic”. /End ID]

And I got some weird results but I found an important result from imgur! Note: as of when I am making this post (Feb 6 2021), the eeby deeby meme only showed up on tumblr like 5 days ago.

[ID: An Imgur post from MetaPathos from 10 days ago showing the Eeby deeby elevator photo.  /End ID]

“MetaPathos... that sounds familiar...”:

[ID: A Know Your Meme article saying, “The earliest known post of the edited comic strip appeared on October 19th, 2019 in an Imgur comment by MetaPathos (shown below). However, this may not be” before cutting off. /End ID]

MetaPathos is, as far as we know, the original poster of the “your dick cold” edit.

Edit 2/18: So, I checked the Know Your Meme page and its comments again, and I saw this comment:

[ID: a screenshot of a comment on a Know Your Meme article. The comment is by user Derpy Vaz, posted on February 13, 2021. The comment reads “user onewallpaperaweek on imgur created the elevator EEBY DEEBY. it was posted on twitter and went viral”. the word twitter is a hyperlink to the twitter post. /end ID]

I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know how Imgur works (as in how to properly navigate it and what the site’s culture is, I just know how one would use it to post images on a petsim forum), so I have not been able to find the original eeby deeby elevator post. I did, however, find this post, but it is not by onewallpaperaweek. It’s also newer than one MetaPathos posted, so it’s definitely not the original. I also found these two posts by MetaPathos about the spread of Eeby Deeby, so I suggest checking them out. x x.

Ok that’s cool and all but what the fuck is the eeby deeby meme on tumblr?

Good question! I don’t really know how to find out where the jokes about eeby deeby started because tumblr’s search function sucks eggs, but a reblog of what appears to be the first time eeby deeby elevator was posted on tumblr (Feb 1 2021) that combines “you are going to brazil” with eeby deeby was posted on Feb 2 2021:

[ID: A tumblr post by @the-jade-palace. Attached is an image of a person on fire falling through a fiery tube. There’s text over it saying, “You are going to eeby deeby”.  /End ID] EDIT: In an earlier version of this post, I said that this was related to the superhell meme, but upon Further Research it’s most likely more closely related to “You Are Going To Brazil”. Shoutout to @can-you-maybe-chill’s tags for making me realize this wasn’t in fact the case. Update: @the-jade-palace​ has since confirmed that this was not a superhell joke, but in fact a “You Are Going To Brazil” joke. 

I, and many others, mistook this for a reference to the superhell joke because I had not actually seen the episode or full scene, and had seen this gif posted multiple times in reference to the superhell thing. It is not, in fact, a clip from Supernatural, but a clip from the movie Spawn, which... I don’t know much about but I found the clip of this scene in this youtube video (put link here) and the movie looks rather strange. Seeing as the superhell joke is very popular (because it’s funny) and many people thought this gif was from that scene (I have a lot of people in the tags saying “wait it’s not from supernatural” in response to my first update to this post in which I clarified this), I think this may have contributed to the spread of eeby deeby and the establishment of “eeby deeby” as some sort of place.

There is also this post, which I recall as being the first time I saw eeby deeby outside of the original elevator post:

[ID: A tumblr post by @angryrivaini saying, “imagine getting jumped by a bunch of elevators and you hear one say “take his ass to eeby deeby”. /End ID]

SO TL;DR: eeby deeby originated as a meme about robot dick but then an edited UwU elevator meme made its way onto tumblr and we all lost our minds over A Funny Phrase.

[youtifulhobi]

34+35 [MYG] (18+)

➴ Summary: A drunk Yoongi puts the moves on you after 10 years of friendship and spicy times ensue

➴ Pairing: MYG x reader | Genre: smut | Word Count: 4.9k | Rating: NSFW; 18+

➴ Warnings: swearing, almost 5k of pure filth

➴ Tags: fwb!Yoongi, f2l AU, pwp, drunk (but consensual) sex, unprotected sex, creampie, breastplay, switch/sub!Yoongi, switch/dom!reader, oral: both, fingering, dirty talking, overstimulation, multiple orgasms

➴ A/N: thank you to @joheunsaram and @oftenderweapons for beta-ing this monster of a pwp and calling me out big time at the end 😌

Do not redistribute or plagiarise on any other platforms (including but not limited to wattpad, youtube, instagram, facebook). I only use tumblr and AO3 as of the time of posting. If I find my work plagiarised or redistributed without consent, I will not hesitate to take legal action.

“I want to fuck you.” A melodious voice made its way to your ears, the words it spoke meant only for you. Along with the words came a fleeting but noticeable touch along the inner seams of your pants to further accentuate Min Yoongi’s simple but heavily laden statement.

Your eyes fluttered open and you looked up at Yoongi’s jawline, letting your gaze trace along his chiseled features. Upon not receiving an answer from you, Yoongi’s touch ghosted higher, more insistent. When his long fingers pressed against your clothed core, you closed your eyes, arching your back and letting out a soft moan.

You were vaguely aware that the two of you were very much in public, in an upscale omakase restaurant with your four other friends, but you didn’t care. Be it a sudden surge in horny hormones or just a longing to end your two and a half year long dry spell, you wanted him.

Your eyes opened slowly again and you met Yoongi’s gaze, burning a hole in each other’s eyes with the sexual tension that roared between you. Your lips parted slightly to allow a gentle exhale to pass, a tingle making its way up your spine as you laid in Yoongi’s lap, heart racing.

While it hadn’t been a long time since you felt this way, it seemed like aeons since you trusted someone enough to let them touch you intimately. With the latter thought, temporary sobriety washed over you and you launched yourself off Yoongi’s lap, panicking. You’d always had commitment issues, ten years of friendship be damned.

You flung yourself into Nayeon and Seokjin’s arms in one swift move, heart now beating quickly in fear.

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

You remained silent, only dry heaving in panicked gasps as Nayeon and Seokjin tried to comfort you, sending each other bewildered looks above your bowed head.

While you tried to catch your breath and slow your heart rate, Nayeon and Seokjin patted your back gently, soothing you with whispered coos of encouragement.

In between less frequent hiccups, you whispered to your friends that Yoongi wanted to sleep with you and asked them to confirm, not trusting your ears. One thing you’d learned after 6 years of drinking was to not trust yourself after downing a 720 mL bottle of sake in the span of three hours. With raised eyebrows, Nayeon left your side to do as you asked and returned in what seemed like the span of a few seconds, confirming what you said was true.

Your heart stilled. Traumatic memories that had caused you to panic were long forgotten and a rush of arousal wet your panties. Suddenly, bedding Yoongi was all you could think of. Fleeting images of having him under you, unable to do anything but moan as you rode him, then his eyes, as they closed in bliss, and he came undone under your skillful tongue flickered through your mind.

You kept your face neutral, not wanting to give anything away.

“I think you should go home given your level of distress,” Nayeon murmured, stroking your hair. Seokjin nodded in agreement, wanting nothing but the best for you.

All of a sudden, the thought of going home without anything stirring your insides was the most distressing thing you’d ever experienced, more than the memories had caused you to panic. Quickly, you shook your head. “No, no. I need this. Please. Please, let me have this.”

Nayeon met your eyes, expression unreadable. “If you say so.”

You broke eye contact, gaze shifting to the floor. You knew she knew why you were begging to sleep with Yoongi.

Now that you had gotten both permission and confirmation that you were to end your dry spell that night, you flounced back to your seat next to Yoongi, hopping up on the barstool.

The rest of the night passed by in whispered flirting, coy touches, and more drinks. Before you knew it, you were outside the restaurant building, giggling as Yoongi ran drunkenly at you, bowling you and Nayeon over so that the three of you landed in a heap on the floor.

People stared, but you didn’t care, too caught up in the moment. In the moment, all you could think of was how lucky you were to have friends that truly loved you, regardless of their sexual intentions towards you.

Nayeon groaned, clearly done with the two of you as she pushed Yoongi off the both of you and helped you up before dusting herself off. She held a hand out to you, which you took happily, always enjoying the extra excuse to show your friend some love. Nayeon walked the two of you like children to the taxi stand and ushered you inside, making sure Yoongi had his seatbelt buckled before sliding into the backseat with you.

Yoongi promptly fell asleep, which you and Nayeon giggled at — neither of you had seen Yoongi so drunk before, but something niggled at the back of your brain, worrying that Yoongi may have been using alcohol as a temporary means to rid himself of his inner demons. With a mental note to have a serious talk with him when the two of you became sober, you spent the rest of the taxi ride alternating between staring out the window and giggling with Nayeon, making sure to keep quiet so as to not wake Yoongi.

It probably wasn’t the best idea to roam around outside Yoongi’s house in nothing but your bra and dress pants, but nobody ever said the brightest ideas were made whilst drunk off your ass. Besides, you had a good reason to wander — Yoongi had gone missing and you were tired of waiting to be fucked.

You refused to play the role of a good girl, naked in bed and waiting to be dicked down. That persona was reserved for one person only — Jung Hoseok, Korean idol and international superstar. Admittedly, you’d spent a good two minutes topless in Yoongi’s bed, distracted by the thought of getting fucked silly by Jung Hoseok, but you managed to shake yourself out of it.

Drunkenly, you toddled back into Yoongi’s home and wandered around aimlessly until you finally heard Nayeon’s voice, scolding Yoongi. Eyes wide and shining with excitement, you made your way to the open doorway, bare feet making soft pitter-patter sounds on the cool marble floor.

“Nayeon! Where did you go? I missed you,” you pleaded, eyebrows furrowed in worry. Your best friend smiled at you, reaching out to ruffle your hair. Though she was one year younger than you, you often became like her little sister when drunk, childish personality shining through.

“Yoongi left the house to go wander around outside so I had to drag him back,” she explained, shoving the man in question into the entryway. When she followed him and took in your state of undress, her eyes widened slightly and she looked away pointedly, clearing her throat. “Let’s get you two upstairs.”

“Yoongi, is this still your bedroom?” She called, having reached the first floor. Yoongi grunted in response, stumbling up the stairs. You followed in his footsteps, your vision swimming a little.

“Okay, stay here, the two of you. I’ll be back with water. Don’t start fucking.” With a warning and a pointed glance that you avoided by pretending to be interested in Yoongi’s room, she left the two of you alone.

You let out a giggle and peered out into the short hallway, wanting to check that Nayeon was really gone. When you confirmed your suspicions, you turned to Yoongi, rearranging your expression to what you hoped was a seductive one.

You and Yoongi moved in tandem, reaching out for each other and pressed your lips together insistently, not bothering to exchange pleasantries. All things considered, it stayed somewhat tame. You didn’t know if it was because you knew Nayeon could be back any second or if you were testing the waters, but your tongue had barely met Yoongi’s before the faint sound of bare feet padding on the marble floor one level below warned you that Nayeon was back.

Quickly, you pushed Yoongi away and took a split second to resume your semi-disinterested visual tour around Yoongi’s room. If Nayeon narrowed her eyes because she knew what the two of you had been up to after she left, you didn’t know, too busy currently taking in the size of Yoongi’s king sized bed and pristine white sheets. Filthy thoughts traversed your mind, all of them involving sexual activities and some of them involving Yoongi. To say that Jung Hoseok was constantly on your mind was a bit of an understatement, after all.

“Here, this is all I could find. Drink up.” Holding out a 2 litre bottle of Sprite to you and Yoongi, Nayeon watched with the eyes of an eagle as the two of you drank meekly from the bottle. When she was satisfied, she turned to go, mumbling under her breath. “If you guys are gonna fuck, wait till I’m gone.”

You and Yoongi exchanged a grin behind Nayeon’s back, excited that the two of you were finally getting alone time. Ever the gallant host, Yoongi followed her down the stairs and you tottered after him, anxious to see your best friend out as quickly as possible so that you could end your dry spell.

You hung around the staircase, making use of the goodbye Yoongi bade Nayeon to unclasp your bra and dangle it in front of Yoongi, out of your unsuspecting friend’s sight. Yoongi glanced at the movement out of the corner of his eyes and tried to grab your waist, eyes widening, but you were too fast for him, giggling and darting up the stairs.

Bursting through the open doorway to Yoongi’s room, you quickly stripped yourself of your pants, depositing your bra and bottoms on the floor. You flopped onto Yoongi’s bed, clad only in your underwear, tits on display and nipples standing at attention as you rearranged your limbs and head on Yoongi’s pillow.

When what seemed like hours passed, you took your phone from Yoongi’s bedside table and messaged your best friend, upset.

Yoongi laughed when he saw you topless in bed, pausing in the doorway. Your heart sank. This didn’t bode well. Maybe it was a mistake to sleep with Yoongi after all. Nonetheless, you gestured for him to come over, patting the mattress next to you.

He paused and pointed to the bathroom, letting you know that he was making a pit stop and you nodded. You sighed when the bathroom door closed with a click, worry spreading through your veins. Were one night stands typically supposed to go this way? You didn’t think so, but your knowledge was strictly limited to tumblr fanfiction, so maybe that wasn’t the best source of information.

The sound of running water and gargling reached your ears. You hummed absentmindedly, lost in your thoughts but still acknowledging the noise. You barely noticed the door opening after a few more torturous moments, too busy setting an alarm. If you weren’t home by 1 AM, your parents would kill you.

“All done?” You asked, not bothering to look up from your phone. Yoongi said nothing, merely staring at you from the doorway. You paid him no attention, still a little miffed that he’d left you waiting for so long. Instead, you continued to stare pointedly at the screen in front of you, lying on your stomach with your knees bent and calves and feet in the air.

Yoongi took his shirt off, ambling over to the light switch, barely allowing you enough time to admire his lean torso before he turned off the lights.

“H-hey, what are you doing? Keep them on,” you stuttered, taken aback. You didn’t like the dark, though you’d never mentioned this to Yoongi.

The man in question chuckled, shaking his head. You shivered a little, only able to see the faint outline of his body. With a series of clinks that let you know he was removing his belt, you propped yourself up on your elbows, electing to focus on the naked man before you rather than the darkness that surrounded the two of you.

Nervous about the night that was to come, you bit your lower lip. What if you didn’t like it? Was it too late to back out? What if —

Yoongi silenced your inner rambling with a kiss, lips pressing insistently against yours and hands roaming along the side of your body. You sighed as he caressed the side of your breasts, fingers moving along the swell in a slow, languid motion, finally relaxing back into the bed.

You’d laid for no longer than five seconds when you decided that you didn’t like not being in control and rolled over, taking Yoongi with you. When he was under you, you smiled, though he couldn’t see it in the dark. This was where you were meant to be. On top. Like a boss ass bitch.

Yoongi chuckled from his position under you, tilting his head. “Not a bottom?”

You snorted in response, scrunching your nose gently. “Not particularly. Do you have a condom?”

“I should,” Yoongi replied, before flipping you back under him. You scowled at his back, baring your teeth. You’d get him back for that. You weren’t born to be a bottom.

After what seemed like minutes of rummaging through his bedside table and pants, Yoongi turned to you, shrugging. “I don’t.”

“Are you clean?” You asked. You were horny and drunk off your ass, but still maintained a shred of self preservation.

Yoongi laughed, his throaty chuckle echoing around his room. “Of course I am. Are you?”

You bristled at his tone, a little put off, but answered in the affirmative. With a wave, you motioned for Yoongi to come back to bed, only to trap him under you again in a manoeuvre you weren’t sure how you were able to pull off, considering your drunken state. From then on, everything was a bit of a blur, though you managed to remember most of the details.

You moaned, gripping the headboard so tightly your knuckles hurt as Yoongi bit the soft flesh of your left breast, marking the area where your heart laid, beating quickly. Being on top had its perks, such as the ease of access to your luscious tits, placed ever so conspicuously in front of Yoongi’s face before he smirked at you and bit down on your nipple.

Pain erupted from the site of the bite, Yoongi not having taken the steps to prepare you. Your hand shot out to find purchase on the soft velvet of the headboard, holding yourself upright. You huffed, closing your eyes as your breath began to come in pants, pussy leaking arousal onto Yoongi’s pelvic bone.

If Yoongi cared about you making a mess of his body, he didn’t say anything; instead, he chose to grip your breast so tightly you nearly saw stars. Pleasure mixed with pain flowed through your veins and you let out a howl, throwing your head back and involuntarily shoving your tits further into Yoongi’s face.

Just at that moment, the alarm you’d set earlier came to life, your screen lighting up the room. With a groan, you pulled yourself off Yoongi to reach for your phone, unable to bear any sound other than the moans that had been emanating from your parted lips.

“Fuck, Yoongi, I gotta go, I have to be home—” your sentence ended with a moan. Your phone fell to the floor, temporarily snoozed and forgotten as Yoongi draped himself over you, leaving a trail of kisses along your shoulder blades.

“Mmmm? What’s that?”

“Y-Yoon… I have to… ah…” thoughts jumbled in your head, colliding with each other as you struggled desperately to find the right combination of words to express yourself.

“Yeah?” You felt Yoongi’s lips curve upwards into a smile as you faltered, sensing that you were about to give in.

“…it’s fine, my parents fell asleep an hour ago, they won’t know if I stay out for a little longer.” With a grin of your own, you flipped back over onto your back, enjoying the way Yoongi’s body bore down on yours.

Yoongi tilted your head for a kiss.  You let your eyes flutter closed as his fingers traced your jawline, but before your lips could meet, your phone’s alarm rang again, letting you know that the snooze period was over.

With a frustrated whine, you tore your arm out from under Yoongi’s bare chest and reached over your head, fumbling around to find it, but froze when Jung Hoseok’s growl began to echo around the room. You’d forgotten Base Line was your new alarm, having fallen head over heels for Hobi’s low voice.

Yoongi, not knowing the dilemma you found yourself in, chuckled and reached over you, easily pressing ‘stop’. Your idol’s voice faded into silence once again, but instead of focusing on the man on top of you, you wondered what it would be like to be in bed with Jung Hoseok.

You brought your lips to Yoongi’s, feeling a bit guilty that you were thinking of another man in bed, and hoped that his touch would chase away all thoughts of Hoseok. Yoongi chuckled again, amused at your eagerness, and flipped you over onto your stomach, letting one hand massage your back as it made its way down towards your ass. His other hand pushed apart your thighs, making his intention clear.

Startled, you forced your legs shut, trapping his hand between your thighs, and looked over your shoulder. “Yoongi, what are you doing?”

Yoongi looked down at you from where he knelt above you, one hand still gripping your thigh tightly. “I’m going to eat you out for the next half hour, why?

You groaned at his words, head falling forward, a gush of arousal wetting your thighs and creating a puddle on Yoongi’s bedsheets. “Fuck, Yoongi.”

With a grin, Yoongi pushed aside your thighs, noting the way you relaxed under his touch and arched your back slightly, already desperate to feel his tongue on your most sensitive spot. You stilled when you felt a calloused finger rub gently against your clit in what you were sure was more edging; but before you were able to grind out Yoongi’s name in the form of a warning, a finger slipped inside you, helped by the copious amounts of lubrication on and around your pussy.

You cried out, walls instantly clamping around the foreign object. Yoongi groaned at the feeling, imagining how it would feel to have you tighten around his cock instead of his finger. Grinning, he pulled his finger out of you, ignoring your wordless protests and flipped you over again so that you were on your back. From there, he spread your legs the furthest apart they would go and motioned for you to keep them that way before delving down to press his mouth against your sex.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it wasn’t the alien feeling of having Yoongi’s tongue piston in and out of your cunt, literally lapping up the arousal that flowed endlessly. You laid there, thighs propped up on Yoongi’s shoulders, knees bent and hanging in the air, unable to do anything but take it. Each time you reached up to weakly push Yoongi away, wanting to return the favour, he’d put your hand right back by your head without missing a beat, continuing to devour you like a man starved.

When you felt your high approaching, you whimpered, trying fruitlessly to get Yoongi to press his tongue against the parts that you wanted. You felt Yoongi smirk against your core, knowing what you wanted but unwilling to give it to you so easily. Instead, he prolonged your ascent, making sure to stay away from your clit until he was sure your climax had ebbed away like a retreating wave.

When Yoongi had let your orgasm fade away from you for the third time, you growled, a low noise building in your throat as a warning. “Yoongi…”

The man in question simply tilted his head up to meet your gaze, not bothering to remove his mouth from between your legs. “Let me cum.”

Perhaps it was the hard edge to your voice, or maybe Yoongi felt slightly sheepish at having taken so many orgasms away from you, but when your next high began to approach, it came quickly and you fell apart under Yoongi’s talented tongue, clutching at his forearm as he worked you through the most powerful climax you’d had in a long time.

Your legs quivered with the strength of your orgasm, instinctively closing around Yoongi’s head. He grinned at your reaction, supporting you by gripping your thighs and ensuring you didn’t slide off his shoulders. By trapping his head in between your legs, you’d unintentionally pressed Yoongi’s mouth even harder against your sex, a position he was only all too happy to be in as he continued playing with you.

You mewled as Yoongi continued his relentless attack on your pussy, overstimulation mixed with pleasure causing you to push at him weakly. You wanted him off, but wanted him to continue at the same time.

“Nnnh, Yoongi, no… no… it’s too…” you whimpered underneath Yoongi, hair sprawled across the sheets and at his mercy. Yoongi slowed his ministrations but never ceased, waiting for you to call ‘red’ or ‘yellow’. Despite both of your drunken states, you’d agreed on this one point very clearly. ‘Stop’s and ‘no’s would be ignored unless there was a caution colour accompanying the words.

You didn’t call either colour, so Yoongi resumed his previous pace and you hurtled headfirst into another orgasm, fisting at the sheets as Yoongi continued to lap at your entrance and piston his tongue in and out of you, sucking on your clit all the while. You groaned lowly, the feeling of your second orgasm in ten consecutive minutes spreading through your veins like ice.

“Yoongi,” you panted, gripping at his sheets so tightly your knuckles matched them in colour, “h-how soundproof is your room?”

Yoongi paused, finally taking his lips away from your equally pampered and tortured pussy, expression unreadable. “Completely soundproof.”

At his words, you let yourself crumble, let yourself sag into the mattress underneath your back, let yourself let out the loudest moan yet that night. You squirmed under Yoongi’s touch, suddenly hyper-aware of the way his tongue laved over your clit to concentrate on working you through your second orgasm, how his fingers dug into your thighs, and the way his breath came in hot pants, depositing small puffs of air onto your labia.

“Fuck, HOBI!” You cried out Jung Hoseok’s nickname by accident, thoughts of the man haunting your every waking moment culminating in you moaning his name at the worst possible moment. Without warning, your pleasure skyrocketed and liquid gushed out of your core, dripping down your thighs and all over Yoongi’s face. Mortified and suddenly feeling very sober, you covered your face with a whimper and attempted to pull your legs towards your chest, wanting to curl into a ball.

Yoongi caught your legs as you began to slide them off his shoulders, instantly understanding what was running through your mind, seemingly not aware of whose name you had moaned in the throes of passion. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Don’t be embarrassed, that was hot as fuck.”

He chuckled, feeling rather than seeing the slightly concerned and somewhat judgemental stare you gave him. “It feels good to know you turned a girl on so much that she can’t help but squirt,” he said simply, shrugging his shoulders. “Besides, it already happened. No use dwelling on it. Get back here, I want to continue eating you out.”

You shook your head quickly, wanting to return the favour. In retrospect, you probably shouldn’t have moved your head in such a violent fashion, as you lost several seconds trying to fight the vertigo that temporarily overpowered all other senses.

“No,” you finally managed, after the dizziness had subsided. “You, on your back, now. If you want to eat me out, we’re sixty-nining. I’m sucking you off. You’re not getting blue balls on my account.”

Yoongi groaned loudly, the sound reverberating throughout his bedroom. He pulled you towards him after gently lowering your legs to the bed underneath your bodies and kissed you hard, surprising you with the ferocity behind the motion. It wasn’t wholly unwelcomed, but things were starting to get a little too intimate for your liking. It scared you, the way your heart went into overdrive, thumping hard against your ribcage.

With a gentle swipe of your tongue along his lower lip, you broke the kiss and turned away from him, crawling down the bed to Yoongi’s lower body, grasping him in your right hand, enjoying the way his breath left his parted lips in a breathy groan. The sound travelled along your spine, raising goosebumps as it caressed your skin, heading straight to your core. You closed your eyes as a fresh wave of arousal crashed upon your being, threatening to bowl you over with its intensity, but you shook your head, reminding yourself that it was time for you to return the favour.

The pale-skinned man underneath you chuckled drunkenly, the weight of your conundrum not lost on him. With a strong arm, he grabbed your thigh and hefted it over his stomach so that your pussy was directly above his face.

“Problem solved,” he grinned, flexing his fingers. Without warning, he pulled you down on top of him and pressed a thumb on your clit, dipping his tongue in and out of your entrance, causing you to miss taking his cock into your mouth completely.

You felt Yoongi smirk, the corners of his mouth lifting against either side of your pussy. However, he had no intention to move away from you, as evidenced by the way his tongue continued to lap at your entrance, collecting the arousal that seemed to flow endlessly.

Dipping your head from the sheer pleasure that Yoongi brought to your battered cunt, you allowed yourself a brief reprieve before turning your attention once again to the semi-hard member, taking the tip into your mouth.

Your tongue traced patterns on the glans before you lowered your head to take the entirety of him into your mouth, causing a muffled vibration from Yoongi to spread through your body. It set off a chain of events, both of you moaning and working harder at the task at hand in an effort to outdo each other.

You didn’t know how long you and Yoongi had stayed like that, but your back was starting to hurt from maintaining the same position for so long. With a groan, you pulled yourself away from Yoongi, pussy immediately protesting at the sudden lack of attention.

“Isn’t that enough for now? Fuck me, Yoongi.”

Yoongi merely raised his eyebrows, not bothering to move as he stared at you from where he rested against his pillows, cock standing at attention, red, angry, and precum seeping from the tip.

“Come on, I want you inside me,” you moaned.

With a breathy chuckle, Yoongi motioned for you to climb on top of him with two fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion, cocking his head to the side as he waited for you to follow instructions.

The sheer cockiness in Yoongi’s simple actions suddenly made you eager to please, his dominant persona making way for your more submissive self.

When you had settled yourself on Yoongi’s lap and sat straddling him, Yoongi lifted your ass and placed his cock at your entrance, teasing you.

You whined, a high-pitched sound emanating from your throat as you begged Yoongi wordlessly to hurry up and impale you. Yoongi chuckled at your impatience, but finally acquiesced and pushed his erection against your folds and into your pussy, groaning at the way you tightened involuntarily around him.

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last,” Yoongi groaned through gritted teeth, the strain apparent in his voice. You simply clenched your pussy around him as an answer to his unspoken question, at which Yoongi let his head fall forwards to rest against your breasts, panting.

When he had caught his breath, he brought his hands up to you, motioning for you to take them. Grasping his offered hands, you began to bounce on top of him, relishing in the way his cock hit all the right spots inside you. You’d never felt so full, so fulfilled, so…complete.

True to his word, Yoongi didn’t last long under the combination of four hours of oral sex you’d had and the way your pussy clenched around him, enveloping his cock entirely. With a loud groan, Yoongi came undone under you, spurts of cum exploding from the tip of his erection, shooting deep inside your cunt. With a pleasurable shudder, you bounced a few more times on Yoongi’s lap, not caring that you didn’t orgasm with him. He’d made you climax several times already, after all.

“Stay the night? Cuddle?” came Yoongi’s voice sleepily as you rolled off the bed, gathering the clothes that had been abandoned on the floor earlier that night.

“No, I have to get home. I don’t do sleepovers after sex,” you commented drily, rejecting him outright. “Thanks for the sex, though. It was pretty good,” you added, hoping to soften the blow somewhat.

Yoongi nodded, pulling a hoodie and sweatpants on, already half-asleep. “Let me walk you to the door.”

It wasn’t until you were home and sitting on the shower floor, tired and still intoxicated, that you bolted upright, eyes snapping open.

You hadn’t used a condom.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this fic. Please consider reblogging so that others are able to find my work! It gives me a lot of motivation to continue writing.

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