#its not even an old laptop either so idk...

[dexaroth]

i cant believe the day but i finally got a full tower pc. bought it already built and at a considerable discount of some 320 dollars off. its fucking huge and theres so many things going on inside... i was initially planning on choosing the parts myself but finding the graphics card was so hard and everyone else convinced me to just buy it built and honestly? good. id probably have fucked this up so badly by myself

i cant use it yet bc i took too long to buy the monitor that was also on sale and now its regular price -_- tho i managed to find a discount used one for now. well see how that goes since ill get it tomorrow. i tested it on out living room tv and it had some kaspersky thingy open and like thats so cute. i hope they left some treats in the browsing history for me to search through before i wipe it clean

[safehven]

(wip + a drabble under the cut // tw: gore mention) 🐺

once silence, now filled with the excited click, click, clicking of teeth as hungry mouths open and close as if to chew, to taste his very presence that now filled the space. lolling tongues salivating as they seem to savor a meal, a true delicacy they could only dream of having once more.

"...it hasn't been that long since they've last seen me, right?"

the shuffling of fur as bodies seem to soften themselves, welcoming back hands that can mold them anew. bellies exposed to the hands that would always cradle, never crush, the soft, red contents inside, and could piece them back together, piece by piece, vein by vein.

"no.... no, not really. but your scent never really left." you never wished the smell to leave, asking it to linger like a dog wishing its owner to stay, to stay, to please stay.

"it always lingered. and you know they never stray too far anyway." come home, come home, come home, it would say. and the rising sound of joyous scratching, scraping of claws against the ground would always answer.

"and you know they'll always miss you, no matter where you go."

down to the rushing, rich blood that runs through each and every vein up to the gums that housed every tooth that lined their hungry but happy mouths. down to the bones that caged a soft, red heart pleading to be held, up to the fur that begged to be touched, to be grounded. bodies waiting to be once again transformed anew by hands that know them so well, it hurts.

"well, i've missed them, too." i've missed you, i've missed you, oh, I have missed you.

silence, now full with the sounds of dogs welcoming its master back home.

[btr-rewatch]

hii, you mentioned you were around during the fandom's heyday, i was wondering if you had any favorite fics from back in the day you'd like to share? <3

Hello! Yes, BTR was actually my official "introduction" to online fandom when I was younger :) I spent so much time here on tumblr and fanfiction.net, which was a lot of fun because the fandom was at its biggest and most active.

Good timing with this ask, because I was actually thinking about making a post with some of the fics that were popular (or that I personally enjoyed) back when the show was on. I still have them bookmarked on my old laptop! I'll select a handful and put them under a read more.

Quick disclaimer that I cannot attest for the quality of any of these fics now. I haven't revisited most of these since I originally read them, though the main details have cemented themselves in my brain on account of my past self having read them over and over and over. Still, I don't know if my older, adult self would find them any good in regards to writing quality or the actual content.

• Ok. So, I have to start out by mentioning Laura (known as Miss Fenway), who I wrote briefly about in my BTF Fandom Lore post. When I tell you that she was the "Queen" of the fandom for the years the show ran, I'm not kidding. Everybody knew her. She churned out fanfics like it was her job. She was responsible for a lot of the headcanons that ended up being adopted by the rest of the fandom. And she wrote "Little Hollow," the 55-chapter, 160,000-word fic that had a profound effect on the fandom. Basic premise is: Logan gets cancer, and from there, everything spirals into tragedy and heartbreak. She then wrote a fic based off an alternate ending to "Little Hollow" called "Three" that absolutely destroyed my younger self when I first read it. Like. It was just too much for me.

Back in the day, Logan was the character who was tormented the most by fic writers, and nobody tormented him quite like Miss Fenway. In some of her other fics, he loses an arm in a shark attack, becomes a drug addict, gets kidnapped, is in a car accident that leaves him brain-damaged, is in a hockey accident that leaves him with amnesia, and so on.

Personally, I was partial to "All These Lives" & its sequel "September." To THIS DAY, I cannot hear either of those Chris Daughtry songs without thinking of those fics.

• If you're into AUs, "Mania" was hands-down one of my favorite BTR fics (maybe even one of my favorite fics period). It's like...an edgier version of the boys? They're a gang of sorts, formed out of necessity in order to keep their neighborhood safe from a rival gang. They carry weapons, get into fist-fights daily, and will go to the ends of the Earth to keep Katie safe. Listen. It sounds off the rails, but read it. Trust me. Even now, years later, this fic occasionally pops into my head out of nowhere because I loved it so much.

• Fics that focused on the guys as little kids were very hit or miss (and sometimes could be weird), but I've got to include two of my favorites, "The Petting Zoo" and "Trouble." They both capture the personalities of the boys so well, and I have to imagine this is a lot what they were like as kids. Chaos all the time. Idk, I thought both of these were so funny. Worth a read, in my opinion.

• Alrighty, last fic on this list is a doozy. It's called "Another Reason." This was my absolute favorite BTR fic, and it was one that I read and literally needed several days to digest because it was such an emotional ride. This is a DARK ONE, guys. It's gritty and depressing and hard to read, to the point I only ever read it once because I was never quite ready to return to it. Kendall is kidnapped and tortured for days by someone associated with Hawk (I think??) so it def treads into AU territory because it's nowhere near the lighthearted, goofy feel of the showverse rivalry between Hawk and Rocque Records. Feeling like the police aren't doing all they can to find Kendall, the remaining three boys steal Mrs. Knight's car and take off in search of Kendall.

Like I said, I haven't reread it because it was a tough read, but I remember it being well-written and rambling at length about it to a family member.

And that's where I'll leave it for now! If anyone checks any of these out, I'd love to hear thoughts (my ask box is always open). I also welcome your own fic suggestions, since I really haven't ventured back into the BTR fanfic world yet. Also, thanks to everyone who read the fic I posted the other day!

[soaps-mohawk]

hiii!!!! im back girliee :) sorry i fell of the face of the earth for a little bit. no pressure to answer this fast its not super important lol

the last few chapters have been so delectable!!! love getting kyle action but also ghoap/gazsoap/ghostgaz was YUM!!!! 🤤🤤 I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to get back to the camera/Simon's bond conflicts too tho lol 😅

haven't been able to play much COD recently due to being busy :( (+ I've been playing The Last Of Us and I may be a bit obsessed with Joel Miller.....I really need to stop playing multiple video games at once lol) (also actively playing Genshin Impact)

I HAVE FUN HEADCANNONS

idk where this idea came from but I have a headcannon that the TV in the rec room is just lowkey the worst. Old, slow, and the base is out in the middle of nowhere so it limits a lot of their TV options.

Don't have streaming because it requires a payment/subscription and something about not being able to hook it up to an account/being on a military base/not safe to have clues to their money or personal lives (I know nothing about the military forgive me). They do have cable but because their base is in the middle of buttfuck nowhere they get only the strangest, most low-production channels out there.

I saw a youtube video a while ago about a British reality TV show where a female contestant is shown a bunch of dicks, nothing else, and she has to decide who she'd want to go out with based on that alone 😂😂 it was completely uncensored, so dicks would just be fully hanging out there. that's the type of shit that they get on the cable in the rec room LMFAO

feel like the only option for personalized TV/movies is the old DVD player hooked up to the TV (that was there when they moved into the place 😭) so the boys constantly have a collection of DVDs they're always rewatching, or they buy new ones/ship them in when there's something new they want to watch

I'm the type of person who will watch bad movies or reality TV shows just so I can giggle at them, so I FULLY believe that the pack would find some shitty knock-off reality TV show and lock in to watch the new episode every week together

if the boys and/or 'mega ever want to watch something popular/that would usually be on streaming they just have to get it off some backstreet website or something like that (they have burner laptops specifically for this purpose)

hope you're having a good day/night/afternoon and that you have a good week as well :) stay safe, slept, and hydrated!!!<3

— 🌘 !

Aww no need to apologize!! Things happen, people get busy. I'll always be here, hanging out (well, not quite as often right now but i'll see stuff eventually!!)

Aww thank you, thank you I'm glad you enjoyed them!!! They have been rather delicious, but don't worry, we will be getting back into the fluff and ANGST very quickly. I've been dragging the plot out more than I wanted to so now I'm rectifying that lmao.

I own The Last Of Us (it came with my PS4 when I bought it four years ago) but I still haven't played it because I suck at playing games lol. I either play all the way through at once or I play for an hour and then turn it off and don't touch it for months lol. Same even with the Sims. I go through cycles of playing for hours everyday and then not touching it for weeks and weeks.

No but like that idea would be so true lmaoo. Just an old fuzzy TV that has no streaming capabilities. They have a very vast collection of DVDs (organized by Simon of course) which is how they keep themselves sane lmao. They get like ten channels and flip between sports and daytime TV and game shows 😂 it's a routine now, sitting and watching some random game show at night.

Hey, they break a lot of laws already, what's the shame in playing pirates? 😉

[azurdlywisterious]

Alright fallout 76 side of tumblr, i am in dire need of your help.

So like… the game wont load??? Im sitting here waiting for steam to painstakingly verify the integrity of the files and just in case that doesnt work i need a plan b on lock cause im gonna play this game come hell or high water.

The situation:

I boot the game up. I click nothing until i see the casino dice (otherwise it crashes). I click play. The game then either crashes and closes or i get stuck in perpetual loading. Im playing on a gaming laptop that is a bit old but still newer than this game so even with its wear and tear it should be able to handle it. (For reference it can handle overwatch at the highest graphics just fine)

Hopefully verifying the file integrity is all that needs to happen for it to work otherwise idk what to do i cant find anything on the internet that describes this exact problem

[grgie]

i forgot i have the whole of next week off (i had 4 days holiday leftover so i combined it with good friday) and i have five goals, will report back my successes:

1. deep clean and sort my room

i really need to get rid of a lot of old school stuff that i super dont need anymore, and to go through my wardrobe and either sell or donate anything that doesnt fit or i dont wear anymore

2. clean the study

its a mess in there, and the plan is to move my laptop setup into my room (2a, buy a desk for my room once theres space to have one lol)

3. get a haircut

idk the salon i wanna try out only has cheaper slots during the week and im not paying full price

4. book a driving lesson.

im 24 and ive never driven i wanna drive but i hate having to contact people only for them to tell me they dont do evenings and weekends (cool i work full time thats literally all i can do)

5. go swimming and to the gym at least once of each

its so busy after work ;-;

[tleeaves]

back again with homeopathy, first off super glad you're able to empower yourself and find what can be helpful to you! unfortunately right now i've been reminded of something and it's pissing me off so if you're not feeling up to a trauma dump please stop reading here!

basically i just have memories of feeling helpless and not enough and being told 'oh take this' when i really didn't have the spoons to be thinking about my body and if i bruised myself playing sport or had a scratchy throat or whatever and it's just. i've tried. for my birds, for whatever actually matters to me, but sometimes it's just a huge fucking mystery with adults in my life throwing random compounds at whatever and no one teaching it to me in bite sized ways or allowing me to mess up with it even though they did?? and i can't keep going through this with my guinea fowls, i need to find some way to either reclaim it or just leave it the fuck alone i swear it's like a cult and some people (including professionals in the field) get defensive if you ever mention something like antibiotics, i'm a fan of doing whatever works and it's generally going to involve a mix of ideas from different sources

so i can't really leave it the fuck alone and still value indigenous wisdom and still be connected to what's left of my asian roots but i can't be part of this toxic system (which i always forget exists til something outright reminds me of it) full of paranoia and inventing things to feel like were wrong with me as a kid even though i was so healthy then and i am now (and i'm learning to be grateful for it). anyway idk if you find this interesting, i feel like me with this is a bit like you with religion. but you see how some people used something good with amazing potential (holistic healing) to just cause so much hurt and i'm ready. to figure out better. but it has to be baby steps, even just reading books is gonna trigger me so like. i'm at a weird crossroads where i think the path forward is gonna involve a whole lot more gentleness than I've ever seen but perhaps is at the core of any kind of healing with nature and its substances yknow

Sorry that it's taken me so long to answer. What I have might be brief because it's on my phone rather than my laptop (taking a bit of a writing holiday this Christmas), but I think I know what you mean. It's as you said, like me with religion, seeing the cult-like behaviour of some individuals, not really being made to feel welcome in a space, and not having it feel for me the way it does for others.

Homoeopathy and holistic healing I tend to take with a grain of salt. I know of folks personally who refuse a lot of other medical practices and things like antibiotics, preferring everything to be natural. I can understand even that drive, though it's not for me (if I rejected a lot of modern medicine and healthcare, I wouldn't be here to answer your ask right now). If anything, I see herbalism and the ways the knowledge can be used for one's health as supplemental. It's an extra if you need to bolster your health, if your immunity is low, if you have some bodily problem or discomfort that plain old painkillers can't always quite fix. Sometimes it's just a thing I think speeds the recovery process. But it would not be my first nor only answer to everything. And that's where I think you might be coming from. Because there are folks who believe so firmly in it that it's their only answer, but that makes teaching it also difficult.

And then from there, I fully understand that its difficult for you to learn or get into something that has been a source of frustration for so long. I just hope that one day you find your peace with it, in whatever form that comes 💛

[the-kipsabian]

before i go to bed, since its ace week

hi. my name is night. im an aroace agender person

i dont connect with a gender. im physically a woman cause i dont know what i want from my body to actually look like, and getting treatment is behind a wall made out of loooooong time of doctors appointments and therapy and tests and whatnot. even more so for a person like me who has been diagnosed with mental issues before. however, that doesnt change the fact that i feel no connection to this gender, or any other - i mentally see myself just as a meat blob, having to just exist in this body without another option right now, tho what i physically look like on the outside rn does not represent how i actually feel. i know im genderless. im not a woman nor do i want to be, im also not a man nor do i wanna be that either. im also not a secret third option, im no option at all. im the 'opt out to not answer this question' button. the none of the other

im also very much an aromantic. ive had crushes before tho so ive thought for the longest time i might be demi. cause all my crushes came to be after a mental connection with these people were made. but it also never came with more than 'oh this person was nice to me at a time i really needed that, i like them and wanna maybe like be close to them and idk hold hands??’ but thinking back on it now, ive never actually like. felt romantic towards anyone. i have never been in love as far as im concerned. i dont like kissing, hugs and hand holding are reserved for people i care about closely but not in a sense where i wanna date them. or maybe i’d like to try, but i also know im never gonna love them as more than my friends. any kind of intimate bullshit is out of the question unless we’re close friends and mostly when i initiate. i think im incapable of feeling romantic love, but i dont think this is a bad thing in the slightest. i just view it as the necessary evil in a sense, where all the love i do got to give is the same for everyone regardless of our status and their gender etc., and its just a sign that we are friends. i have a love language, but its not romantic, i dont feel it, but i still show it to people who i deeply do care about. and thats okay

ive always been ace. i grew up always thinking everyone else was weird (and honestly kinda gross lmao) thinking about sex and kissing and boyfriends and girlfriends and i was just. idk in a sense trying to fit in. but i never leaned that way, i still dont - ive known for the longest time that i am sex repulsed, thats nothing new to me, which is why even as a supposed adult at the ripe age of 30 (lol) im still not getting into smut, like yeah that should be saying something. like this started when i was maybe like 12 or 13 and this kind of stuff started to pop up for the first time in my small friend circle, and i just never got into anything like that that a person my age was maybe supposed to. i was never interested. and one thing im thankful about having grown up the fucked up way i did is that i never dated. i never had to find out about my orientation that way. like maybe i spent a lot of time thinking i was a demi on this section too, just thinking that it was very normal for kids not to be that horny as i wasnt either - but i still couldnt get into the “horny” stuff kids my age were getting into. it was weird. but, i had all the time to think about it, and eventually when i got old enough to separate the sexual and romantic attractions and online became a place i could search on my own safely (yay first own laptop!) and more informative about this stuff, the labels just. kinda fell into my lap. and it made sense. ive made my peace about being this way a long time ago and i dont care what that makes me in someone elses eyes (for example, my mom thinks its better that im “supposedly ace” rather than i would date girls :))) ), i know who i am and how i am. and im ace. and you can have all the sex you want idc im not here to preach i just know thats not for me and i do not crave for it, not now, not ever, and never have

oh and also yeah i think my bio says flux in there, its a thing i was made aware of recently in my last identity meltdown few months ago, which is basically like. you are the base of these identities (in this case, aroace) but some times it might very slightly but noticeably fluctuate towards something else for a brief amount of time - so if you’ve ever seen one of my gay panic moments yeah it might be actual real gay feelings i have. i dont know, but it feels appropriate and accurate and even if its not, having a little label to pin on it like an asterisk helps my anxiety about it so. yeah. and thats the most important things

im not only writing this to make it clear who i am and what i am, but maybe someone will see this and know that no matter what they identify as and what they are, they are valid and loved. if nothing else, i love you 💜

[mangoisms]

using calmly writer again. i used it way back when it was just a chrome extension and now they do have the online version available but they've also moved to a downloadable software. decided to try it out for this one oneshot i am working on bc i wanted more font options (only three on the online version but Much More in the download which is nice, especially since i can use lucida grande, ao3's font, that was a very nice find)

it also has different background presets and there's this one...

sort of. curious. i mean. old school. from where. i was so surprised when i clicked it and then everything changed this... very bright bright LOL. or not bright. but. idk. it Stands Out

ETA: it also has this awesome typewriter sound for when you type! do really like that too

otherwise. pretty solid program. you do need a license to keep using the program and its... $12 USD i think? but you can also download it without putting in payment info and it'll give you an unknown amount of time for the trial, which is what i am on. $12 is pretty good, i think, but i like formatting my writing in..... classic book format? (no idea what it should be called but like. no spaces between paragraphs and indents/tabs at the start of each one, you know) and when pasting over from docs, it does get rid of that/other formatting like italics.

you can indent in the software (but not online, also another reason i decided to give the download a try) but it's kind of. well. gestures to the picture. it doesn't do it automatically, either, you have to do it each time. also don't even know if those indents will hold when i export it which might Stink but i'm saving that problem for my future self (so, like, later tonight). also for a proper em dash, you have to hit '-' three times; two makes it Very Small and again. don't know how it holds when its being exported so i just want to be safe/stay consistent with how long the em dashes were originally when typed in docs

that's really the main thing with it. i like my indents. and i also always copy and paste stuff back into google docs when i'm done working on my laptop (where i might ordinarily use scrivener to write, which doesn't give me any problems with any of these things and with copying back to docs), that way i can keep writing on my phone if i'm going to bed or something. of course now i'm using calmly as like... new program. new inspo. i love environmental changes As We All Know. so i'm overlooking it for the grind (the writing)

[mostautisticsinner]

sits down

i am interested in the ishmael and possibly don quixote trans hcs :o

v v interested

I WAS LICHER ALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING A FIC ABOUT TWO COMPLETELY DIFF CHARACTERS BUT I SAW THIS AND GOT SO HYPE I OPENED MY LAPTOP JUST TO TALK ABT THEM.......

First things first. Ishmael intersex. I haven't pondered what condition she has yet, if I should go Full On Projection and give her what I have or make it something completely different, but either way she's always felt like Not A Girl and Not A Boy (physically) even if her birth records say one thing. It's estranging for sure! But at the same time she loves her body and is glad she's intersex

Ok onto other thangs ... I think she chose her name herself because she read Moby Dick when she was on the boat Sooo much she had SO many Weird Nightmares but it was fun for her. Just like me FR etc. Named herself after a fictional character , As you do

She identifies as transfemmasc... Would think its funny to say shes both a cis man and a cis woman but she needs to have twice the transgender swag. Shes bigender but presents femme and also mostly just says she's transmasculine if anyone shes comfortable with enough to have a Confusing Identity But Not Too Confusing with

Always always gets gender euphoria from wearing boxers. Also just more comfortable but she's simply always staring at herself when she wears them

Keeps getting impulses to cut all her hair off especially when someone compliments how long it is but she refrains. Somehow

Don Quixote also chose her name , she's a trans woman and did not enjoy her given name for years and most names just felt like they didn't fit until she settled on naming herself after, Don Quixote. Felt like it would be disrespectful to name herself after a Fixer too

Her chest is mostly flat but thinks its awesome actually. Every clothes fit her and even though bra shopping is hell on earth at times whenever she does get a good fitting one thats also euphoria babey ......

Always was like Intensely Oblivious about the concpt of being trans but Idk how to describe it. Like not that she didnt know but that she was Always just like "Oh Im a girl :)" to everyone even if they were trying to persuade her that she wasnt. Its the future old man people can change genders.....

[dicks-wifey]

Falling for Nightwing

Chapter 2:

I wake with a crushing headache, pounding at my noggin. My stomach twisting and turning like I just ate something I shouldn't have. The same pain u get when u haven't shit in a good long while.

I sit up slowly so that I don't spew chunks and make direct, head-on eye contact with a man reclining in one of those deflated hospital chairs, a sleek computer on his shapely thighs. I swoon.

Quickly, I avert my gaze and bat my long eyelashes, embarrassed to have stared for so long. I just couldn't help it. He was like The Batman, but if he were younger, thicker and attractive.

"Good! You're awake." He closed his laptop with a satisfying snap. "Can you tell me what you last remember."

My heart skips a beat, whether it be from what I had consumed or his alluring looks, and I fan my face before answering.

"I-I don't remember m-much....just e-eating dinner with m-y my father and The Batman before pa-passing out. Gasp! Am I gonna die?!" I yelp in womanly fright.

"No!" He said, "you've just been resting, your body is healthy." Although he sounded a little unsure. "Do you know exactly what you had eaten?"

"A nice cauliflower rice with a finely grilled and seasoned rotisserie chicken?" I answer quickly with a dead serious face. "I recommend the rice, it's pretty good when paired with the chicken."

"Uhm...not exactly." He pressed a new button on this silly little wrist thing he had. "Batman will be here briefly to explain the situation to you, he would also like to ask you a few questions."

My heart shatters just thinking about The Batman replacing this hunk. A crime, truly. I don't even know his name....sigh.

"And...y-your name?" I put on the dramatics, eyelash batting up-ing to 100. A whole ant farm could be blown away with such wind power.

Definitely not disturbed and inching towards the door, he flashed me a charming grin that made me flush. "You can call me Nightwing."

The Batman unfortunately chose this moment to arrive, sweeping through the door, long cape billowing behind him. "I need to ask you a few questions about your father. Then, I can explain the situation to you."

"Oh? That's it? Haha, silly, that's simple." I scootch up in my bed. "My dad's a vampire, obviously...little hair piece and pointy fangs. He's kinda old, given his mushy potato like face--. Y'know, I keep telling him to invest in a good face wash and some lotions, just to keep a little youth to his face, but he doesn't like listening to me. He prefers to use 'the blood of virgins', whatever that is, its clearly not working."

He nodded coldly, but not unkindly. "I see, how old would you say your father is, specifically?"

I tap my soft little face in thought, "40? Maybe 50? That's ancient right? And he's a vampire, so like....that's in vampire years. Making him WAY ancient."

"What would be your estimate in human years."

My narrow, feminine shoulders shrug, "Idk, 200." I smile brightly, pleased with my answer.

He looked like he disagreed but didn't say anything, "and how old are you?"

I shrug once again, plainly. "18? Birthdays aren't typically something we celebrate in my household. Why? I look pretty young? Thank you!"

"How often would you say your father eats?"

I sigh a hearty sigh and look down at my lap."....pretty often. Most nights I'm forced to eat in my room alone like a little medieval child. No offense, truly. And when he is home he doesn't wanna eat with me either! He says his appetite is absolutely and utterly ruined whenever he sees me eat or even just look his way. Whatever that's supposed to mean. I just don't understand how he feels, I wish he would express more..."

His face remained impressively stoic, "are you aware of what your father eats?"

I almost scoff at his goofy question. "Well humans of course, you silly bat. What else would a vampire eat? GARLIC?! Never, he needs to keep a good figure."

"Are you also....a vampire?" He seemed uncertain asking this, which was fair considering my lack of vampire traits.

"I mean he's my father, of course I'm part vampire. I have a few of his traits looks-wise, but whenever I mention I have any sort of similarity to him, he gags and walks away."

He looks at me with an unmoving and uninterested expression, so I look away ashamed.

"But no...no I'm not like him. I'm not cool, I'm just...plain old me. No fangs"

He tapped a few things on his little wrist thingy before checking the little chart at the bottom of my bed. "Nightwing told me you remember everything that happened last night. But you don't seem to be aware of what exactly you had eaten."

I sigh, exasperated. "Am I not allowed to enjoy cauliflower rice anymore? Ugh, why put it on the table if I can't eat it?"

"That's...not what you ate. What you ate was an accident artifact related to the goddess Nyx. Your father and I were supposed to reach a deal yesterday, and in exchange I would be given possession of the artifact."

"Oh! Did the deal go well?"

He paused like I just said something dumb. "Your father...in exchange, he's given us full custody of you."

"But...why would he do that? I thought he loved me." My soft feminine face scrunches into sadness and betrayl, "So...you're my father now? I don't wanna call you daddy."

He looks pained by my suggestion but shakes it off and returns to his soulless expression.

"I've researched this artifact extensively, but there isn't any data of what exactly happens when it's consumed--"

"So I'm gonna explode?!" I screech, straining my petite vocal cords.

"Explode? Why would...no, you are not going to 'explode', but it is important that we keep you here to analyze how you're handling the sudden exposure of this artifact. Does your body feel different to you in anyway?"

"Different? Different how? Different as in I'm gonna explode or different like I just ran a lap and am now a bodybuilder? I dont want that extra muscle." I say, tone serious. 

The corner of his mouth twitches in what could possibly be annoyance, but I'm not sure. He looks down with a sigh before  locking eyes with me.

"No....like," he paused, "well I have to leave and attend to other matters. Try to relax here and someone will come around shortly to check on you."

He whips around, heading for the door. His dramatically long cape flowing rather elegantly behind him, as if he'd practiced in the mirror countless times before perfection. I watch him leave with a smile before hearing a rather disturbing noise. My stomach.

I pat my rumbling tummy. "Shitting time, huh?"

Carefully, I hobble out of the hospital bed, my bare ass hanging out of the open back of the hospital gown. An unpleasant breeze passing by as I wobble over to the bathroom. The shit I've held in for too long finally taking a toll.

The dim yellow lights of the unusual bathroom would usually bother me, as I'm not such a lady to poop in strange places I've never been to before. But deseprste times call for desperate measures.

Plopping onto the frigid seat of the toilet, I begin pushing. My eyes shutting so that I can focus on other matters besides my current location and bowel movements.

Since the moment I've woken up, I've been bombarded with questions and strange faces, one being not so strange but rather attractive, wink wink. And knowledge that my own father has abandoned me. I would have never thought he would do such a thing, not in a million years - If he even lives that long.

My thoughts get disrupted as the strain gets into disastrous territory, my hand reaching out for the wall. A deep breath helps me concentrate back on my inner monolog.

I have also learnt that for some odd reason, this random, important object had somehow landed in my dinner last night and I'd ended up eating it. FYI, not my fault.

And now, now! Now I don't even know what shall happen to me. I might explode, I dont know, The Batman wasn't all that clear on that part. And to make matters worse, I'm trying to shit in a strange toilet in a strange hospital surrounded by strange people. I mean...no wonder I can't poop, the strain of my reality would be too much for ANY proper lady. God truly does give his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.

Suddenly, I'm snapped back to reality. The reality where I'm still in the bathroom fighting for my very life and when I thought things couldn't get much worse, the lights start flickering. First they lightly flicker but soon it begins to pick up and before I know it, the lights are flickering so fast they coukd be mistaken for strobe lights. My heart picks up rapidly and I begin to wonder if Satan himself will reach his hand through this toilet and drag me down to the pits of hell himself. Just because I enjoyed a little cauliflower rice with a side of accidental ancient artifact. Am I shitting it out right now?

I yelp as I'm suddenly bathed in darkness as the light bulbs pop. The straining of my bowel movements the least of my worries at this point, but it's still pretty high up there. My ass is feeling vulnerable.

My hand that still remains on the bathroom wall begins clutching on for dear life when I begin feeling my body slipping into what feels like a cool bath. The kind of bath that had before been boiling hot but after relaxing in for too long has turned into a chilly, liquid mess.

"No, no, no!" I begin chanting to myself, as if it will help me anymore than the stupid washroom wall.

"Help." I squeak in my coquette voice before being sucked into the darkness.

[haemosexuality]

🎵✏️🐰💎

Last song you listened to?

Mawce by Everybody's Worried About Owen!

Have you ever written fanfiction?

yes. once. when i was 12. for undertale. it was bad. i would like to erase it from my memory

What do you think says the most about a person?

oh this is a hard question. i think, how someone reacts to Weird People. tho thats something that is personal to me so idk if its a good answer sksbksbdjsd

What's your most prized possession?

i want to say my phone or my laptop since like my entire life is in them but thats a boring ass answer so, i think im gonna go with either the huge folder where i keep all my old drawings (from like 2014-2020) or the she-ra doll my mom crocheted for me. OH or the jake the dog hoodie i wore every single day when i was 10 that doesnt even fit me anymore but id rather die than get rid of

[wulvert]

TUMBLR DELETED MY ENTIRE ORIGINAL MUNDANE FACTS ASK IM SO. ##########. I HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS LOST 2 MY POOR MEMORY. anyways sorry i got distracted writing a pokemon dnd campaign. happy weed day!! nd paperteeth day woooo!!! i wish u luck in ur drawing!!!!! nyways heres um. A Lot Of Questions:

HAS AVERY NOT,,,CONSIDERED BUYING CUTLERY THAT ISNT SILVER,,,

does avery have a preferred alcoholic beverage like scarlet or does she just. not rly care as long as it has alcohol content

do any of her 11 brothers have names or nah. if they do ur very brave i would collapse on my 6th google search of "1998 Boy Names"

ur knowledge of strange asmr continues 2 fascinate me as someone who listens 2 like. repairation/restoration asmr alone with no talking ever. nyways since asmr um. probably? didnt exist in 1998 how does scarlet get her 60% sharp 40% human vampire gf 2 finally rest so she herself can sleep,,,does she have 2 drag the tv in nd play vhs tape whale noises,,,does she start doing her own asmr on the spot,,,does she just. cuddle avery so strongly she cant move. WOULD,,,WOULD SHE JUST WRAP AVERY IN COUNTLESS BLANKETS 2 IMMOBILIZE HER ND THEN SLEEP WHILE AVERY STRUGGLES OUT OF HER COCOON,,,

did avery immediately take agnes in upon finding that beast in the bin or was it like. agnes kept harassing her daily and before she knew it or could resist the bin demon wormed its way into her heart nd she adopted her.

is the hand discoloration like. a blood...hunger? blood...thirst? blood...starved? i forgot the terminology. u get it. thing or is it related 2 having claws.

WOULD scarlet nd avery ever consider adopting a 2nd cat,,,that is also vantablack with blue eyes that definitely wouldnt be an inkitties reference,,,or if scarlet gave into her fears would they get like. another tarantula/reptile/fish like scarlet used 2 have before the Tragedy,,,

if avery ever stopped being embarrassed about simply existing would she knit even more plush creatures 4 scarlet,,,would she finally share her knitting tips nd they would knit more of them together,,,

is averys little vampire fangs phone charm real teeth that she kept from some (dead) guy or are they like. fake. also wht charms does scarlet have,,,

would scarlet wear those like. fake little clip on ear piercings 2 cope with the fact she cant get more real ones anymore.

THE...THE AVES INCIDENT???? WHAT DID SHE DO TO HIM.

miscellaneous rly specific question: can vampires get tattoos post-vampirism or would their healing ability just like. obliterate the ink or smthn. if they had a tattoo pre-vampirism does it forever stay in the state it was when they were turned or does it still like. fade over the years like tats usually do.

NOO RIP UR OTHER QUESTIONS- IF UREMEMBER THEM LMK THATS SO SAD

Sorry if my answers r even less ledgible than usual, my laptops still deceased and i cant use touchscreen keyboards very well for some rrleason and tbh i cant spell vry well

SHE DOESNT NEED 2 USE CUTLERY ANYMORE💪💪💪💪& her knives have handles :)

i think shes less specific abt it but probably prefers like colourful cocktails that dont taste of alcohol at all but obliterate you because u sip at 7 of them in a row but then again she probably likes to come off as someone who likes plain whiskey but she actually doesnt.

....they do not. i am still awful at names. i leave naming characters to the last minute- but imo they have a pretty like. idk old man naming convention. like ur gonna get ur edwards and georges rather than ur i literally cannot think of a name i would consider non old man ok whatever anyway.

i have a problem in regards 2 asmr. its like. i tap on things. all the time. anyway yea asmr wasnt a thing in then so probably just sits her in front of bob ross or makes her go on a 10000 mile run before dawn so shes tired out enough to just zzz as soon as her head hits the pillow. either that or yea def cocoon blanket method. she doesnt have to sleep just has to be immobilised. scarlet also does that as mentioned. they r cocoons. together. avery uncomfortable bc she needs to stretch her legs. but trapped.

probably absorbed agnes immediately and forgot about her job for like a day of blissfully washing fleas off a kitten. avery likes animals & wouldnt be able to leave her in the bin, and far too attatched to rehome. she keeps agnes to herself usually though and doesnt talk about her- (scarlet told avery to bring agnes over with her so she wouldnt be home alone (she wanted to pet the cat) (avery agreed bc she feels bad about abandoning her while she was dead for a week) (agnes is still in scarlets house)

discolouration from lack of blood!! vampires have fairly bad circulation as is. so extremities get a little corpsey after a while without any juice- it goes away with prolonged blood drinking though.

i think they would consider it but i also think agnes is a hater and wouldnt be happy about another cat- i think a little betta tank would b an option for sure- but scarlet would probably like to have a lot of pets in general :^)

she would for sure definitely, she probably has knitted kelly stuff before shes just shy about it. and eventually avery will be emotionally secure enough to share knitting tips 😌 proud of her

they are real teeth. from a person she murdered. probably the first vampire she killed, before she started at the lumber co so no need 2 turn them in for money.

scarlet probably has an obscene amt of little charms. the little smiley faces & the little scooby bracelets.

those little little ear cuffs maybe, shes probably most sad she doesnt have any helix piercings

a glare so foul

i wouldnt say so, itd heal up pretty immediately before you could even finish tatooing. which sucks- tattoos from before vampirism are now locked the way they were when turned, so even if the leg gets sawed off the leg'll grow back with the tattoo on it.

lmk if i missed anythingIwant my laptop back!!!!!

[sweatgrass]

[2:55a]🦞: Feeling a lot of big feelings randomly, Love went to bed and I got a little bit cross faded off of an edible even tho I insist being so makes me feel sick. I think I’m having one of those moments where the clarity of the fact that I’m going to be in my home town for a weekend in the adult way vs big kid at college way is starting to hit and it’s feeling miserable, I don’t like that I’m feeling poetic about it but also I’m thinking I’m finally just gonna let myself lean into desire and pretentiousness in a way that feels lame to other people. I’m already fucking weird to the people in my home town who don’t get it so I don’t understand why I’ve been trying to snuff it. I think it’s just scary to be yourself regardless of how much I insist it’s not and I don’t mind getting stared at. I think I’m also so bitter over the fact that being pierced + tatted + a slut + queer is a fun cultural moment now and not that deep shame that you’re spouse to bear under. I don’t understand why my turn at it got ruined but what am I spouse to do about it other then try again I guess.

[2:59a]🦞: ^really poetic way to say I’m probably gonna start doing porn in a less hidden way because like. All of my tattoos are already in it so Whagever!!!!!!! Also I want to actually try to do things with my gay little poetry and fashion. Idk what yet. I am the most gen z gen zer alive I think.

[3:03a]🦞: But also idk. I think maybe it’s less about me wanting to do porn and more about me and my needs to be heavily desirable to men even though I kinda hate all of them. I think unfortunately I will be easily reduced to the needy 14-year-old-not-a-girl-but-if-it-gets-me-attention-whatever that I’ve been forever and it’s kinda terrifying. I’m so less focused on being sexually appealing anymore as much as being desirable which is something that I think i need to sit on forever but in the current moment it kinda feels like the whole “intimate not pornographic” kick I was on months ago. Not sure.

[3:05a]🦞: idk. im spilling so hard rn but i hate my phone i hate my laptop i hate twitter i hate that its the easiest way to make money forever and i hate the way people look at me. i hate that its either only in sex appeal or pity. i want to chop wood till my arms burn and i want to be better at poetry and i want to know more words and i dont want to lean on substance to make my existence bearable i want to be something other then what i am at every moment ever.

[8:11a]🍑: i love u dude, those are a lot of big feelings but theyre also good ones to realize and sit on, i support you no matter what thing you decide to do slut it up, start making poetry books, cute outfit videos or something!!! the need to not rely on substances is crazy but eventually it gets easier especially when you get meds that work for you and stuff 💝

[forestryfae]

i finally got the new laptop and i gotta say i am NOT that impressed lol the keyboard is SO SMALL and the enter key and some of the other keys are kinda har dto hit correctly. wish teh screen was bigger, i thought the size i bought would be bigger than this, its uhh 15 inches i think?? i looked it up online and looked at comparison pics since i didnt have an actual ruler and its wayyy smaller than i thought itd be. def wish id bought the biggest one lol definitely hate that they just installed windows 11 onto every single laptop they were selling it fucking sucks. its so bad its so clunky and hard to use, theres a million types of ad preferences you gotta go through when you start the laptop the first time like. the vast majority of the setup was logging into microsoft and rejecting ads. the fuck'

def wish the program menu thingy at the bottom of the screen didnt keep moving programs around and was static instead. wish it didnt just try to show me an ad for google store. its on do not disturb wtf???? the settings are such a fucking mess, and the mouse menu is fucking awful when im looking at my folders, they turned cut and paste and new name and all that shit into just icons at the bottom of a long annoying useless menu noone needs. Graphic Design Is My Passion'

DO like typing tho it feels nice that its easy to type again and its a very quiet laptop rn, my old one would have the fans blowing even when it was mostly just sitting there

like ngl. wish id just bought a new charger for my old laptop but its a bit late to reconsider i think. i havent tried games on this one yet and idk how good it is for other stuff either

[writers-ex]

Istg i am so tense today 💀

So yesterday was Friday. Its Saturday morning here rn, btw. And some of my friends werent coming to college due to personal reasons. Now because everyone is usually busy in their work, no one has time to send the notes from the classes, so they told everyone to take the day off. Our Fridays are shorter days btw.

Being the head girl of the college, i tried to stop them cuz it might get us in trouble. But they didnt listen, so everyone was taking the day off. So i also thought that there is no reason to go to the college cuz no ones coming. So no one came, as planned.

EXCEPT ONE GIRL. She advertised the plan of not coming to college to everyone on our insta group, and then she just backed out. We thought that it was ok as long as she didnt tell anyone.

BUT THEN WHAT HAPPENED? We get a message from the teachers, saying that the parents have to tell the reason why everyone except that girl came. We panicked a bit but we all had our excuses. We decided not to message the teacher and just tell our excuses on Monday.

And thats where it all came crashing down. We just got a message, like 5 mins before the time i am writing this, that our whole class except that girl will be heavily penalized because we 'lied to our parents about the day being off' and 'breaking the college discipline code'. Btw we never lied to our parents.

Anyways, we found out that THAT GIRL SNITCHED ON US, SENT OUR CHAT'S SCREENSHOTS TO THE PRINCIPAL, AND GOT OUT OF THE PLAN LIKE SHE WAS NEVER INVOLVED. Mind you, if her parenyts had agreed to let her take the day off, she would never have come to school. And she was so unapologetic too. Like i get that we werent all innocent, but snitching and throwing everyone under the bus is so wrong 😭😭😭

I never liked that girl tbh. She fails her classes, she is not good at any extra curriculars, she is a wannabe teachers pet. And she visits the washroom 10 times a day idk why. Thats suspicious, if you ask me.

Im sorry for this long story, but i just wanted to vent out. Please pray for me and my class 😓

-🦔

this girl sounds horrible so i hope your weekend is better, i am glaring at her from my laptop and patting your back as well >:( rude little troll- please keep me posted bc this sounds…i want to know you are ok plz

side rant that happened with a girl in my class that turned out to be a cousin of mine…she so fricking ditzy giggling and making the teacher answer the most randomest questions in class while they give us lecture like bish wait or write it down BUT NO she keeps going and asking about the test and only paying attention to a lecture if its going to be on a test and not the actual INFORMATION WE NEED TO DO THE JOB LIKE BISH LIFE ISN"T ABT A GRADE????? i care abt my grade and study but like i want to perform the actual job correctly so even if the textbook is old i want to understand the idea and actually perform the task up to the standards NOT WEAR MY HEADPHONES AND LEAVE RANDOMLY FOR ABT AN HOUR OF CLASS ONLY TO BUG THE TEACHER ABT DOING THE LECTURE AGAIN BC YOU "LEFT SOMETHING IN UR CAR" why do you have to leave TEN TIMES A DAY TO UR CAR?????????????????? and then she hugs and hangs out with me like nothing happens and smells dirty like idk ur home life but shower or borrow my perfume please TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT dont even get me started on her cheating and she has the nerve to complain abt her grades being one point less when she cheats??????????? i study and earn my grade honestly PISS OFF but i usually just smile and walk away before i punch the wall <3 bro this wednesday i was cleaning instruments during our BUSIET CLINIC EVER so i had to clean everything for eight hours straight with no help and one classmate lost a tiny screw in the sink when i left to grab some water BC I HAVEN"T DRANK WATER IN LIKE FIVE HOURS?????? so im tired, thirsty, and surviving off some milk i drank in the morning bc we don't get breaks for food either and THIS GIRL HAS THE NERVE TO LAUGH AND HUG ME SAYING THAT SHE WANTS ME TO CLEAN HER ROOM BC SHE NEEDS TO GET SMT IN HER CAR WHILE IM PANCIKING ABT LOOSING THIS SCREW THATS EXPENSIVE AND INSTRUMENTS ARE PILING (and god im so mad rn) and its all a blur after that bc i think i cried or blacked out and kept cleaning ignoring her :') i hate my life bc she thinks we're buddies and i want to slap her

whew rant over….so sorry to sound so violent this girl gets me mad and did also b4 we left class yesterday (it was friday for me) GAH