#ive gotten all sorts of stuff for her to help her get around and enjoy life like any other dog

[nerves-nebula]

you don't have to answer this ask if you don't want to, but I saw you mention that you might involve other sorts of abuse/trauma in your Teenage Mutant Neglected Turtles AU and I was wondering something?

Donnie in the ROTTMNT cannon is really desperate for parent-age adult approval and such, is that similar for your AU's Donnie? Because that like, is a trait adults in his life (if he meets any other than Splinter) could exploit (whether that be exploiting his knowledge, skills, time, or other stuff like his trust, and other stuff you probably can guess)?

Is that something you'd want to explore with your AU at all (if it also applies to your Donnie) or is that something you haven't planned/added/don't want to focus on?

btw I really like your AU and it's neat seeing someone make an AU where they aren't just the world's best brothers, if that makes sense? Also the character designs are GREAT! Love all the comic and art and everything you've made for it!!

*cracks knuckles* ooohh but I DO want to answer this. anon, you would not BELIEVE what I’ve been thinking of putting this boy through. Ive mentioned before that he has a kind of predatory relationship with Big Mama, in which he makes her things and she showers him in praise and affection. It’s not GREAT but it’s not the WORST it could be, considering all she wants out of him is more inventions that will help her business thrive.

I really do think Donnie would get into a lot of trouble with predatory adults (mostly because I would have if I was in his situation) but I’m not sure which other one’s would take him in other than Big Mama. Rest assured though I won’t stop until this boy is thoroughly traumatized and deeply self loathing :) donnie is my favorite which means he gets the most torture :) by which i mean he’s definitely the most susceptible to grooming and will probably have multiple close encounters (or just full on ENCOUNTERS) late into his teenage to early adult years.

My dad once told me that I looked like I was asking to be abused, so if you’re trying to grasp the VIBE Donnie is giving off it’s that. (basically just really visibly insecure, vulnerable, and desperate for positive attention) 

it's something i wanna focus on for sure, but I've been setting things up with Raph and Leo and Casey and all these other characters so I haven't gotten around to it yet. well, until now.

(side note, I personally relate more to strained sibling relationships and attempts to reconnect and all that so I'm glad there's an audience out there who wants to see these turtles really put under the PRESSURE of this situation. they're the most famous fictional sibling dynamic that has more than 3 kids involved that i know of and as someone with 5 siblings, I vibe with that)

Im glad people are enjoying my beautiful boys. Every time one of you compliments me there's a 50/50 chance you get ART as a reward (if I have the time) (which I do, right now) (oh m ygod this comic took way longer than I thought it would hahfdshfds)

[crushedsweets]

do you have any ej headcanons? his character tends to vary alot, sometimes he used to be human and other times hes just a monster in the woods

ive always liked the idea of him being like a big brother to some of the pastas mainly like sally, ben, and jeff

AAAAGREED . As per usual ramble under the cut about jacks relationship with everyone + I’ll post colored version of this in a sec

ok. ive already talked a good bit about jack being a normal med student before the sacrifice, spending a year in some rando possessed demon state, regaining clarity, finding refuge in slenders forest, etc etc. he sort of resembles like, a vampire mixed w ghoul from tokyo ghoul

and as per usual fandom antics, he's one of the typical medical resources for a lot of people in that circle . he absolutely was the eldest son of his family, maybe like 3 younger siblings, so going to university and getting away from a big family was really nice for him. until he lost everything and can never face them again</3

SOOOOO him being the resident 'doctor' and already having a brotherly instinct .. its real and true. especially with sally, but she doesn't come around much since sally stays w jane and jane doesnt need jack. sally def reminds him of one of his little sisters. its super super bittersweet for him. jane doesnt realize jeff gets help from jack so thats the only reason she even lets sally come around

in terms w his friendship w jeff and ben.. those two are close, and jeff def has to go to jack for medical attention. ben doesnt need it but he'll come w jeff just bc he can. for a while jack REFUSED to talk to jeff while treating his wounds bc he knows what jeff does. ((jeff isnt even protected under slenderman he just lies and jack has no idea LMFAO))BUT EVENTUALLY jeff starts bringing jack uhh. :| remains. as an extra thank you, which means jack doesnt have to do the killing. it felt like a huge burden lifted off his shoulders. so that kinda helped shift their friendship. ben also doesnt really kill he just haunts so jack didnt have severe issues w him anyway(plus ben actually IS protected under slender sooo)

ben and jeff are just kinda assholes but in the boyish brotherly way(for the most part). neither of them have past 8-9th grade education and will literally look at jack like hes stupid for making a catcher in the rye reference.

jacks just kind of a pathetic little asshat who misses being in school. sometimes he'll try to convince ben and jeff to actually pick up a book for once in their life, and they probably did it once. PROB WOULD ENJOY CATCHER IN THE RYE NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. LMFAOO

he's not all too brotherly with like, masky and hoody since those two are older than him and are creeped out by him. but theyve gotten their fair share of medical attention from him, and he even taught hoody some more extensive first aid so now hoody kinda deals with the basic stuff toby totally still goes out of his way to see jack regardless of whether hoody could treat it or not. toby had nobody willing to talk to him growing up, so the fact that now he sort of has a circle of freaks thatll talk to him, laugh(marginally) at his jokes, and can take some crude remarks.... BROS TAKING ADVANTAGE.

clocky also isnt protected under slenderman, but if she comes to jack with a gash in her head or a stab wound in her leg, jacks gonna help regardless. clocky is also kind of a smartass so she'll actually read some of the books jack has and talk to him about it which is pleasant for them both, but they really have like... nothing else in common.

liu doesnt need 2 go to jack and wouldnt bc he has no reason to

im still lost on how i want ninas case to go, whether she actually kills or just committed an act of self mutilation that caught jane and lius attention, so idk if she would need jack . .

[harrysweasleys]

trick or treat, freak // e.m

summary: eddie coming over to yours to help you hand out candies to trick or treaters. and yes, he definitely forced you to wear couple’s costumes

warnings: none i think! let me know if ive missed one :)

a/n: just a little blurb that i wrote trying to get back into the writers mindset y’know :) anyways hope u all enjoy it and happy halloween!!

Halloween was undoubtedly one of the best nights of the year. I mean, the atmosphere, the candies, the spookiness, how could anyone dislike it?

Hawkins went all out for the holiday. We’re talking decorating city hall, pumpkins at the end of every street, and even one of those giant inflatable skeletons near the heart of the town. You guessed it helped get people into the spirit, help persuade people to go get dressed up and ring door to door.

Your parents always said it was a capitalist thing — make people buy candies, support the economy. All that jazz. But you know what? To put a smile on someone’s face and stuff your own with candy — you weren’t going to sit here and deny the holiday joy. Of course not.

So here you were, October 31st, with your little witch hat on as Eddie sat next to you, devil horns on his head, leather jacket tight, and his arm around you as you both waited for the next wave of trick or treaters. He had asked — no, insisted — that you guys go as the devil and a witch.

She’s his lover, Eddie would argue when you said it wasn’t necessarily a couple’s costume. You weren’t sure he really grasped the concept but he seemed so thrilled with the idea of seeing you in a little black dress and a pointy hat that you had to just cave in and agree.

You had worn the same costumes the night before at Steve’s party and had both gotten compliments so you guessed they did the trick.

“I think we should close up for the night,” Eddie yawned, leaning further into the couch as Halloween played on TV, tossing a handful of popcorn mixed with m&ms into his mouth, “That way we can just have a movie night and y’know, selfishly keep the candies to ourselves.”

“Eds, it’s not even seven o’clock,” you shook your head as you let out a laugh, playfully whacking him across the chest as you reached for the popcorn, “Aren’t you a bore?”

He rolled his eyes, “It’s about principles, princess. Less children, more candy for us.” He waved his hand in the air as he spoke, trying to prove his point.

“Principles?” you repeated, raising your eyebrows, “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. Do you really wanna be the one house on the street that’s closed? Come on. How boring would we be?”

As if knowing you were right, he scoffed. Eddie, of all people, dismissing Halloween? You wouldn’t stand for it.

“Fine,” he gave in after practically zero hesitation, “I guess we can stay open a bit longer.”

“A bit, huh?”

He scooted closer, knees brushing against yours and his head falling onto your shoulder. His soft curls fell against your collarbones and the skin of your neck, sending goosebumps nearly all over your body. You really couldn’t understand how people were scared of him. This guy? Here? Impossible.

“Yeah,” he sighed, taking another handful of the popcorn and tossing it into his mouth.

Ding, dong!

A grin made its way to your lips as your shot up, adjusting your dress, and making your way to the door, grabbing Eddie’s hand and having him trail behind you.

Though he said he wanted to just stay in with you, he couldn’t deny the childish bubble of excitement that was bursting from him, the grin on his lips that showed off his gorgeous dimples. You could see right through him. He loved this.

Just the two of you, on a night that’s infamous for being scared and cuddling up to soothe that fear. Eddie was living for it.

You swung the door open to be greeted with a group of nearly six kids, all under the age of eight, dressed in all sorts of costumes. A classic ghost, some zombies, an angel, and another little girl dressed as the devil. She looked adorable, little red horns atop her head of curly hair.

She spotted Eddie and her eyes lit up, pointing at him and whispering to the woman who was holding her.

“Trick or treat!” they all asked in somewhat unison — not in unison at all, actually, you were only being kind — and held out their goodie bags.

They were all kind, thanking you and smiling bashful smiles each time they felt the weight of their bags getting heavier. You remember that feeling as a kid — the oh, yeah, more candy for me kind of feeling. The my parents will be paying for the dentist bill kind of feeling.

You both grabbed a bunch and tossed them into reach remaining bag until only the little girl with the devil horns was left.

Eddie leaned towards her, muttered a, “great costume,” and gave her the bag of candies. The sight warmed your heart, if you were being totally honest.

A massive, toothless grin made its way onto her lips and she giggled, waving at Eddie as the family made their way to the house next door.

“See? You seem to be loving this,” you pointed your finger to his chest, looking up at him with an mischievous look in your eyes. The dimples were still prominent, and he didn’t even try to argue.

He just lifted your hand, pressed a kiss to the top of it, gave you a wink, and walked back to the couch.

Bastard.

He was such a tease. Of course he would be while you were wearing what he called his favourite dress. But he really was a teasing little shit sometimes.

“So much for let’s close up early, huh?” you shot, taking a seat next to him on the couch and linking your arms with his, “We’d be missing all the fun.”

“You’re my fun,” he looked up at you with those big eyes of his, wiggling his eyebrows as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your temple.

One thing people didn’t know was that Eddie was an absolute corndog.

But hey, he was your corndog, so you didn’t mind people not knowing.

“Shut up, you,” you rolled your eyes, shuffling even closer to him — if that was possible.

Yeah, you really liked Halloween.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi Ms PMD9🌸a lot of wild stuff has been happening in my life lately but it's in a good way I feel? I could never find the time to slow down for my usual hobbies because I've been so.. interested in what I'm doing IRL which is pretty e.O. Quite a new emotion for me! I started college a few weeks back & have been slowly getting out of my shell & just did a handful of days ago! :-) I was feeling pretty lonely in campus & felt a bit lost in what to do so I turned to my tarot deck & knowing her, she just gave me more confirmation for my intuition on what I needed to do (which is just to reach out first).

As a guy who doesn't typically do that sort of thing, it felt ...Nerve wracking but I eventually did to the first guy who came into mind out of all the people in my block & it went pretty well! It's only now that I understand how good it feels to take control of your life because, well... you're the one who's living it so might as well. It's only in recent years that I realized I let relationships happen to me so stepping out of that circle was a "woah" moment.

I know the people around me there are likeminded people considering the course I chose, it's just that I haven't gotten to know them very well yet(& the fact that we see each other in-person twice a week isn't helping lol), so I want to take more steps forward, even if I'm a bit late in doing so. I trust that where I am is a place for me to grow more as an individual & in situations like these, I could feel it.

this makes me happy 😭🙏 thanku for sharing your good life progress w me... At the end you said you think you're a bit late in doing stuff like this but no need to be hard on yourswlf i dont think thats true : ) Many people of all ages struggle to reach out & initiate social activities , it can get hard once ur older too And no longer in a setting like school so i think youre right on track 👍

its inspiring ur taking initiative and recognizing the power to shape your life comes from You first ^_^ Enjoying irl is the most important its why ive not been online lately i feel kind of bad cus i hope no one on here thinks i am a neglectful friend/mutual i just really want to make sure im enjoying being presence. A lot of stuff has been happening in a upward spiral for me too since i been taking control of my reality So i relate to this message a lot even if we are at fdifferent stages in life 🐎

Keep doing your think and following your intuition ➡️ Never be afraid to make the first move ;D Thankyou again for messaging 🪷 idk why im answering at 1am but i hope ur having a pleasant eclipseful night Anon 🌕💛 PMD9!

[i-cant-sing]

Yandere Rei Hurting Reader Pt2

Yes yes. Its out now. I won't delete this one. Enjoy!

Part 1 is here. Part 3 here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Todoroki Clan:

It had been so awful at first. So hard for everyone to adjust to the new change. Of course, it was especially difficult for you to adapt to the new circumstances.

When you had first woken up after the unfortunate incident, approximately 3 days later, you didn't expect to be home so soon. You expected- you hoped that you would wake up in the hospital and have them call the authorities. Then again, you also didn't expect never being able to use your eyes again.

Shotou was the first one to notice when you had woken up from your coma. He hadn't left your side since the accident. He jumped from his seat beside you and held the glass of water to your lips when you tried to speak. The family came rushing in when he called for them, announcing that you had woken up. You could hear Fuyumi and her crying tears of joy as Natsuo came to check your vitals. You knew your eyes were bandaged, which was expected because of the hot oil that was poured on them, but when you asked Natsuo when they were coming off, he went silent. Your heart sank when he told you what had happened, how your eyes were fucking fried to the point that the arteries supplying them were also destroyed, which meant they couldn't be replaced, ever.

You screamed a lot that day; you would've cried but you didn't have any tear ducts. You didn't let anyone touch you at first, especially Rei. You would scream, throw yourself away from her if you felt her come near you. Eventually, Natsuo put some sort of tranquilliser into your IV, finally calming you down.

Being blind was hard, you knew that. But you didn't know that it would also be this humiliating. After the accident, they had starting infantalizing you even more, doing the most miniscule things for you.

Shotou would be the first person who greeted you in the morning and usually the last person to put you to bed at night. He would carry you around everywhere you go, telling you its simply unsafe for you to walk on your own. Sure you bumped into the furniture a few times and it was a bit hard maintaining your balance, but that didn't mean you needed him to carry you around everywhere. You had asked him to get you a cane, but he only said "why do you need a stick when you have me? Just tell me where you want to go". 

Each morning, Shotou would take you down the stairs to the toilet and more often than not, have Fuyumi come and help you, even for brushing your teeth. Then he would take you to the dining table where everyone is waiting for you. Fuyumi would give your breakfast to Shotou, who would cut it up and feed you. Once you're done eating, you would wait for Shotou to finish his food. During breakfast, everyone would make small talk while you remained quiet. After everyone's finished eating, Fuyumi and Rei would take dishes to sink. You would've helped, but everyone's pretty much forbidden you from entering the kitchen.

Shotou would then carry you either to his room or the living room, where he would turn on the TV and tell you what's happening. But since this always makes you remember how you don't have eyes, he would usually just read you some book. Somehow, they're always about princesses and fairytales. You were getting sick of hearing them.

Fuyumi would later come and fetch you, and take you to your bath. While you would be cleaning yourself, after politely declining help from Fuyumi each time, she would be out preparing your clothes for the day. She would explain to you what you're wearing and how you look, and how she's going to style your hair. As if any of these things mattered to you. But even if they did, its not like you'd have a say in anything.

You still remember the first time you were taking a bath, after finally convincing Fuyumi to let you have the "luxury" to clean yourself up. You finally had some time for yourself, alone and away from the rest of the house. You sank in the warm water in the tub, allowing yourself to relax. The privacy was comforting, but not long lasting, as you felt cold hands touch your shoulders. In an instant, you jumped away screaming. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" Rei tried coming closer to you but you kept on screeching at the top of your lungs, alerting the whole house. "FUYUMI! SHOTOU! GET HER AWAY! SHOTOU GET HER AWAY!" At that point you didn't even care if they saw you nude, they just need to save you from her. The siblings rushed to the bathroom and upon seeing your huddled form in the corner and their mother sobbing, Fuyumi hastily covered you with a towel while Shotou took Rei out of there.

Shotou tried to make you understand that Rei was just trying to help you. That she just missed you and wanted to take care of you. He was basically telling you not to be afraid of her, and that your trauma is not valid. You stopped talking to him after that, only spoke when absolutely necessary.  

Natsuo would pick you up after your bath while Fuyumi went to make lunch. He would check your eyes (or lack there of), put on some ointments and replace the bandages with fresh ones. Fuyumi would come with your lunch and after she'd fed you, Natsuo would give you your medicine. They always make you sleepy, so you'd be put down for a nap.

Dabi wasn't always around, but when he was, he was still the asshole he was before. He would move your things to different places, or place stuff in your way so that'd you'd trip (he always caught you before you face planted), all so that you would ask him for help he could get a rise out of you. But you would just sigh and move on.

Enji liked to take you to the garden and read you books and newspapers. It was alright you guess, but you wanted to do something yourself, especially since they still didn't take you out of the house. You had asked him for a Braille, but he only replied "You don't need to stress yourself with that. I'll always be there to read you whatever you want." 

If Enji's running late, then Shotou would take you to the swings in the garden, pushing you as he tells what happened at school or with friends. After dinner, you’d be forced to spend some more time with your siblings, before you’d be tucked into bed.

That has been the routine for the past 6 months since your accident. And the family really felt like everything was returning to normal. It was, for them. This is how they always wanted things to happen: you, locked up in the house while they stripped you of all autonomy and infantalized you to the point where it was harming you, both physically and mentally. Your body was growing weak, your muscles got easily fatigued from their lack of use. And the pills Natsuo gave you didn't really help the case. They made you sleepy, and you think they even caused hallucinations since you felt like someone was in your room or someone was playing with your hair.

Even though you were stuck at home all day, you still never talked to Rei. Well she tried, but you would be the one to always flinch away. She wouldn't address herself when she entered your room, but you would still feel her lurking around the corners. And why should you acknowledge her? Especially after what she's done? 

Enji wasnt ignorant of your condition. He could see how quiet you had gotten, and how scared you were of Rei. He was getting worried for you. What were you thinking about? Enji knew if he didn't talk to you, things will get worse.

You were sitting by the lounge window with Fuyumi who was telling you about her day. Fuyumi greeted him when he came in the room. "Hey, dad!" Enji nodded. "Fuyumi, would you leave us? I'd like to talk to Y/n." Fuyumi nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before she left the room, only Enji noticing how you stiffened at her affection. He sat beside you and cleared his throat. "How are you?" "Fine. You?"you softly asked. "I'm good, too. I wanted to talk to you about something. About...your mom." "My mom's dead." Enji cleared his throat. "I meant Rei." "Oh. What about her?" "Why haven't you been talking to her?" You remained silent. “What happened was an accident-” “It wasnt an accident. An accident is spilling milk. Not pouring hot oil in someone’s eyes.” Enji knew this was coming.“She didn’t do it on purpose-” You cut him off again. “She did! She knew exactly what she was doing.” “Why would she do that?” “I don’t know. She hates me or something.” Enji grabbed your hand gently. “You know that's not true. Rei loves you very much and she cares about you a lot.” You didn't say anything. “Do you remember the day you came to our house?” You nodded. “Yeah. It was a few days after my parents funeral.” “Yes. And do you remember what Rei said to you?” You stiffened before nodding again. “She said that she may not be my real mother, but she’ll love me more than anyone ever has and ever will. Always.” “Yes. And has she not? Has she not loved you more than anyone?” You nodded slowly as Enji continued. “Between you and me, she’s always favoured you among all of your siblings.” You smiled at that. “So, are you willing to give your mother a chance?” You paused for a few minutes. “I- I cant.” Enji sighed. “Look. I know you’re scared. I understand. I know you want to blame Rei for what happened, but believe me when I tell you it wasn't her fault. It was an accident.” You shook your head. “And what if another “accident” like that happens again? And what if I dont survive this time? And what if-” Your voice broke down. Enji pulled you into his lap. “It won't. I promise. And if something like that does occur, I’ll be there to stop it.” Enji pressed a kiss to your hair. “I’ll save you. I promise.”

With Enji's persuasion, you had started mending your relationship with Rei again. Sure, you still flinched when she touched you and you were still hesitant to initiate conversations with her, but none of that bothered Rei. You were trusting her again, and she was more than happy to do more on her part to make you comfortable.

And you won't lie, but life was better with Rei. She knew when Dabi or Shotou were becoming too overbearing, or when Natsuo was fussing over you for no reason. She was there to stop Fuyumi from chatting your ear away, and knew when to stop Enji from feeding you too many sweets.

And Enji could see that Rei was sorry for what she did. He saw how she would often massage ointments on your face, her fingers barely tracing the charred area around your eyes before pulling away quickly. And other times, like today, as he stood by your bedroom door, he saw how gentle she was with you as she tucked you into your bed. He kissed his wife once she had left your room. "How are my girls doing?" Enji asked Rei in a hushed voice, not wanting to wake you up. Rei smiled. "Good." They slowly started walking back to their room. "Shes an angel, Enji. So sweet." Enji hummed in agreement. "Can I tell you something?" Enji stopped and turned to face his wife. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm kind of glad what happened...to her." Rei was smiling. "She's so much better like this. So docile now. I...I don't regret what I did, you know?" Enji's blood ran cold. "Rei... dont tell me- you didn't do that on purpose, did you?" Rei nodded, a bit too eagerly. "I know, I know. It wasn't ethical. And if I could, I would've taken away her pain in a heartbeat. But you must agree that its much better now, right?" Enji couldn't believe what Rei was confessing. "I mean, look at her now. She doesn't even try running away. She knows- she feels safer with us, inside." Rei sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I thought that maybe it wouldn't come to this. I thought that after Touya took care of her parents, she'd be a bit more scared to be outside on her own. That's why we told her they died in a car crash." Rei rested her cheek on his chest. "It scares me what I'm willing to do for her, Enji." Enji knew Dabi had something to do with what happened to your parents, but knowing Rei had a hand in it too, or more precisely, she was the one who told Touya to get rid of them. Enji didn't know what to do with this new side of his wife. But he did know he had to keep her hidden from you, so he ushered his wife to their bedroom, not knowing you had already heard them.

You had realised a couple of things that night. One, Rei and Dabi had murdered your parents. Two, Rei pouring the hot oil in your eyes wasn't some sort of psychotic episode. Three, Enji and the others were going to take Rei's side, no matter what.

A few weeks later, your birthday came around. The siblings had left the house to get some things for your birthday party, leaving you in the care of their parents. Rei was in the kitchen cooking up a whole feast for you, while you sat beside Enji in the lounge as he read the newspaper. Enji had already given you your present. It was giant teddy bear with chocolates from Belgium. They were utterly delicious. When you stood up, he asked you where you were going. You pointed at the box of chocolates in your hand. "I'm going to share them with, mom. Unless, thats not okay?"you asked meekly. Enji still wasn't all that comfortable with letting you and Rei be alone, especially after her confession. But... if he doesn't let you go to her alone, you'll always be afraid of her. And its not like Rei will hurt you again, right? Besides, the kitchen is just down the hallway. He's sure nothing will happen. He nodded. "Okay. Should I walk you there?" "No. Its down the hall. I think I'll be fine on my own." Enji then allowed you to go, telling you to call for him if you need anything.

Rei was chopping up some vegetables when she heard your footsteps. She turned around to find you standing just outside the kitchen. "Hey, angel! What are you doing here?" You remained outside the kitchen as you spoke. "I wanted to share these chocolates dad got for me. W-would you like some?" Oh, you're so kind. Rei quickly wiped her hands on a kitchen towel before walking towards you and leading you to the dining room in front of the kitchen. She helped you sit down before taking a seat next to you. "You want me to have your chocolates? But didn't daddy gift them to you?" You bit your lip as you replied. "Well yes, but I- I wanted to share them with you so that I could- I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And for loving me. I would've gotten you something else but I'm not allowed to go outside..."you mumbled the last sentence, but that didn't matter as Rei quickly hugged you. "Oh honey! You're so sweet!" Rei took a piece of chocolate from the box that you had extended towards her. "And these chocolates are so delicious! Daddy really loves to spoil you, doesnt he?" Rei pinched your cheek gently. You smiled. "I'm glad you liked them. Especially, after all you've done for me. You deserve them more than I do, honestly." Rei stopped at that. "Honey...what are you talking about?" You smiled. "What? Am I not saying the truth? You deserve these chocolates, and all the sweets and flowers and medals for being the best mother." You popped a chocolate into your mouth before continuing. "After all, the criteria is very high. You need to not only have the intent to kill for your child, but you also have to commit murder. Then kidnap your child and force her to bide to your rules. And if she misbehaves, you must punish her as well, right? Because good behaviour gets chocolate," You popped another chocolate into your mouth. "And bad behaviour gets your eyes fried."

Rei just stared at you in disbelief. H-how did you- you didn't hear them talking last night did you? Or did Dabi tell you? Rei stared at you as you ate another piece of chocolate. "I wonder after you've killed me, will you be given chocolates or flowers?" "D-darling, w-what are you saying? I would never hurt you!" You chuckled darkly. "No no. You've done it before and I know you'll do it again. After all, it scares you what you're willing to do for me." You caressed her cheeks, and when you felt her tears, you wiped them. "I'm not saying you have the intention to kill me. No, you'll just hurt me again, another little accident, but this time I won't survive. I just hope you'll bury me somewhere where there's a lot of fresh air, maybe on a hill with a view?" Rei finally broke down at that, falling to her knees as she clung to your legs. "Please! Y/n please forgive me! Please baby, I- I just wanted the best for you. I don't want you to die, I- I promise I'll never hurt you again! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Please baby, I'll do anything. Just forgive me!" You sighed. "Anything? I don't think you mean that." Rei nodded her vigorously, tears falling everywhere. "I do! I do! Just tell me what to do!" You tapped your chin, pretending to think. "Bring a knife. A sharp one." Rei's eyes widened. "W-What?" "Well...its only right for you to be punished as well. To atone for your sins, right?" "O-okay." Rei went to the kitchen and brought a big knife with her. "Lock the door." She did as you told her. You extended your palm, waiting for her to place the knife. She did. You stood up, right in front of Rei. You told her to stand against a wall, and she followed. You played with the sharp end if the knife. "I want to hurt you. I want to hurt you so bad. I want you to feel the pain, the hell you've put me through." This is it, Rei thought, you're going to kill her. For some reason, she was okay with that. "I want you to know you failed. I want you to know you're a bad mother. A selfish, bad mother." Rei was full on sobbing now. "Look at me. I want you to remember this." And with that you raised the knife before stabbing yourself in the gut, two screams ripping through the manor. Rei shot towards you, her hands trying to pull the knife away. "What did you do?! What did you do?!" Rei was crying. Enji was banging on the locked door for a few seconds before he burned it down and the sight he was met with...was nothing short of a nightmare.

There you layed on the floor, blood sputtering from your mouth, your shirt stained with blood and Rei. Rei, who was hunched over your body, with a bloody knife in her hand, crying out "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!".

Enji rushed towards you, pushing Rei back roughly. You were coughing up blood, your head turned away from him until you felt him touch your face. "D-daddy..."you whimpered out before your breathing came to a stop.

"No. No." Enji quickly gathered your limp body in his arms, running out of the house towards a hospital. He kept on chanting "no", because he didn't want to believe that he failed to protect you.

That he failed to save his daughter, again.

I had 5 different endings in my mind and Idc if this isn't your preferred ending (the ending I had in my mind was something out of Quentin Tarantino's movie). I'm just glad to be done with it.

Anyways, exams are coming up and I'm not going to be posting a lot.

And ill be taking up your follow up questions/asks for this part! I'll also be answering godfather hawks asks now that this part is out.

[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song iii.

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire. 

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader  au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, lots of lasagne talk, flirting, kissing, fluff 🥰 words; 9,340

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

After you had time to calm down, of course you ended up telling Soojung about what happened on the date. You kept some things to yourself, mainly about how giddy you had felt throughout the whole thing, but you were sure she could see that for herself – she kept looking at you knowingly, and for once she kept the teasing down to a minimum. You ended up staying awake quite late, Soojung opening a bottle of wine. You were still excited from the date and the thought of what was to come next, but somewhere along the line, you and your best friend started getting into your feelings. (Was it really a Saturday night until you and Soojung ended it with slightly drunk sappy heart to hearts and hugs? Obviously not…) 

For the first time in a while you felt comfortable enough to open up about your love life (or lack of one) and felt it easy to talk about the past and to even bring up Donghae. He was a forbidden topic for the most part, no matter how much you were over him, but tonight had changed something. You didn’t know how to explain it, and no, it wasn’t because Seokjin was somehow the man of your dreams who had magically made things better with just one date. That was dumb and only happened in cliché Hallmark movies. 

No, it was because tonight had shown you that life goes on. No matter what rock bottom you hit, or how long it took you to get over it, no hurt was forever. You’d been single for a long time, and happy at that – after you’d gotten over the heartbreak of Donghae cheating on you – but tonight you’d had fun. You’d enjoyed yourself, enjoyed Seokjin’s company. You didn’t know what would come of your second date, or if there would be a third, but you were okay with that. You were just living in the moment, and right now you really liked that infuriating-not-so-infuriating bastard. 

You were taking a chance, just like he was, and it was actually pretty exciting…

.

.

You woke up late the next morning, something you didn’t reprimand yourself for because it was summer break after all, but also, you had a raging wine headache that had needed all the shut eye it could get. Your head was still throbbing slightly as you reached for your phone on the bedside table but seeing a text from Seokjin waiting for you made it miraculously disappear. 

Seokjin (10:28am) Hi Y/N, Thank you for such a great time last night. I can’t wait until Saturday. Would it be alright with you if I kept in touch throughout the week?  Seokjin

You giggled to yourself at his insane formalities. Why was that so adorable? But most importantly how could he be both cute and sexy at the same time? He was hellbent on making you lose your mind. You thought about teasing him, asking him when he’d grown comfortable enough to drop the Regards from yesterday, but despite how well last night had gone, and despite how much you loved joking around with him in person, over the phone seemed different. You were still a little nervous – giddy nervous, but nervous, nevertheless. Your conversation from last night with Soojung came back to you, reminding you that this was all too real. You were potentially catching feelings for this man, and it was new, and exciting, but equal parts terrifying now that you’d woken up with a hangover. 

Everything you typed out in reply seemed way too stiff, so growing frustrated, you settled on an emoji to cut through the formalities. 

You (10:49am) I had such a lovely time too, Seokjin. Of course it’s fine to keep in touch. I’m looking forward to Saturday night! 😊

What did he mean exactly about keeping in touch?, you wondered as you got out of bed, padding your way down the stairs and into the kitchen for a much needed glass of ice cold water. A good morning text? A how are you? You knew he was busy with work all week, so you weren’t expecting too much, but just knowing he wanted to stay in contact until next Saturday made you smile to yourself as you waited for his response. 

You didn’t have to wait long. 

Seokjin (10:55am) Great! I’m so excited to try your World famous Italian lasagne 😁

Cute. He’d followed your lead, ditching the last of the formalities and even signing off with an emoji instead. You instantly felt more at ease, but – 

Oh no. 

Why did he have to bring that up and remind you of your humiliating blunder? You knew what would be taking up all of your time for the few days – you needed to perfect this goddamn dish. 

Soojung on the other hand was unbothered by your predicament. Mind in the gutter as always. “Do you think that’s a euphemism for something else?” She asked straight away once you’d shown her your messages a few hours later. 

“Soojung!” You exclaimed, feeling yourself get a little hot in the face. You wish she’d stop bringing up sex, it was stressing you out. You told her as much. 

“You’re the one who’s invited him to your house for a second date.” 

You stared at her, greatly unimpressed. “You know why I invited him here.” 

You’d told her last night. You’d been hit with a surge of confidence when you’d suggested it was your turn to decide on something. In truth though, you didn’t know the first thing about restaurants, you hardly ever ate out, and when you did it was either fast food or at the food court in the department store Soojung worked at. You knew he wouldn’t have minded any choice you’d made, but that didn’t stop the slight apprehension you felt. 

It was normal, given your difference in lifestyles, and whilst that seemed to be no issue thankfully, that difference was still there. However really, that’s why you’d chosen to cook for him. Seokjin had shown you something close to him last night – the restaurant he owned with his brother, and now you were to show him something close to your heart. Something that was you. You loved cooking and baking in your spare time and you wanted to share that with him however small. Granted it was things you were confident with, but lasagne couldn’t be that hard, right? A true perfectionist, you’d master it quickly enough…

Soojung rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you could suggest McDonald’s and Dilf would be insanely happy.” She nudged you, squealing like a kid. “He’s just so into you!”

You wouldn’t bite. She was making you nervous again. “Stop calling him Dilf, he has a name.”

“Geez, sorry.” She held up her hands in apology. “Didn’t mean to offend your man.” 

You pushed her shoulder, silently telling her to quit it.

For the next few days it became your life’s goal to master the art of lasagne. Sunday night was spent googling recipes, trying to find the most authentic one. There seemed to be a lot of fuss on the right type of pasta. Flat edged would be fine, but the wavy edge was best. You made note of that. Next was the sauce. Two types. The tomato based one and then the white one – which you learned was called Bechamel. That seemed pretty easy to cook up, but the former seemed a little daunting. Every time you’d had pasta sauce in the past it had been premade, starting from scratch was giving you anxiety. Seokjin thought this was your expertise so you had to make it believable. What if you made it too salty? Too bland?

…Possibly you were thinking way too hard about this. Soojung thought the same. 

“Just buy it in a jar, Y/N, for Christ’s sake. You’re taking this way too seriously. You don’t need to learn fluent Italian to make your little white lie believable. It’s a goddamn lasagne.” 

She had a point. 

“He’d be happy with a sandwich. He’s coming over for you, not the shitty lasagne.” 

“Don’t call my non-existent lasagne shitty, you’re setting me up for failure.” You grumbled, looking at the ten tabs you had up on your laptop screen, all claiming to be the best most authentic recipe around.  

On Monday you went shopping for ingredients. You knew a small world foods store that was just outside of town, you’d been there a couple of times when you’d been baking with the children for class. With help from signposted aisles, you found what you were looking for in no time at all, so that night, you and Soojung both tucked into your first (sort of) homemade lasagne. Only the Bechamel sauces was harder to master than you’d first thought. 

“I think you added too much flour.” Soojung’s nose wrinkled as she spoke. “It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but the white stuff… I don’t know, maybe it’s supposed to taste like that?” 

Nope, she was definitely correct, too much flour, which was odd because you were pretty positive you’d followed the right measurements… 

Tuesday you had a day off from the sight, and even the word lasagne. You met for coffee with your mom but kept the date with Seokjin a secret. Not that she pressed about your love life anymore, she’d long given up on that topic. It was nice to catch up and you made plans for a trip soon. It was hard to find time to visit her when you were in work so you were always thankful for the summer and Christmas breaks. You were her only child, so it made your time together even more precious. She’d only remarried ten years ago, and while Jonathon had kids from his first marriage, they lived abroad. They were older than you and had families of their own. You weren’t particularly close for no other reason than the distance. You’d only met them a few times but they were lovely people. Your father had remarried while you were still in high school, having two more children (a son and daughter) with his wife. You were very close to them despite the age gap and saw them as regularly as you could. Your extended family had long been the norm and you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Wednesday you were back on the lasagne. You purchased more pasta sauce and decided on the pre-made Bechamel sauce too, just to be safe. This time around everything went smoothly, Soojung had no complaints and neither did you, but you still invited Taehyung around on Thursday for a third go. He was way more enthusiastic than your best friend, singing your praises all night. 

“Y/N, that was amazing!” He exclaimed, leaning back in his chair to pat his belly. “Dilf dick – Uh, I mean, Seokjin, is going to love it.” 

“Guys, is that what you really call him when you’re alone together?” You whined. 

“Blame Soo,” Taehyung shrugged. “She’s rubbed off on me. But, I’m right,” he smirked. “He’s going to want to give you his DD once he tastes this, if you know what I mean.” 

Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, you looked on unimpressed. Maybe if you gave them no reaction they’d stop? 

“Oooo. I wonder what his dick even looks like. I bet it’s as handsome as his face.” Soojung squealed, sat beside her boyfriend. 

“SOOJUNG!” He cried, mouth open in disbelief. 

“Can we just stop talking about his… y’know…” You sighed, unable to say the word aloud. “Imagine if it was the other way around and he was wondering about what I looked like naked.” Soojung wouldn’t be impressed, that was for sure. 

“Fine, you’re right,” your best friend sighed. “I’m just way too excited because you finally like someone!!” She was getting loud now, she always did when she was excited. “And I want it to work out because you deserve it!” 

You chuckled. “Soo, calm down.” But you had to admit her words were sweet. You reached for her hand across the tiny table, giving it a gentle squeeze of thanks. 

“What about Barman dick?” Taehyung asked randomly, totally oblivious that you and she were having a moment. “Huh? Soo? You want my Barman dick tonight?” He wiggled his eyebrows again, a playfulness to his voice as he nudged her. 

She giggled but wasn’t having any of it. “It doesn’t really have the same ring to it, babe.” 

Highly offended he pulled away, pursing his lips. “Whatever.”

“Okay guys, let’s not have a domestic at the dining table.” You laughed. Which was a mistake because now Taehyung’s attention was back on you. 

“So, Y/N, when are you going to invite Mr. Dilf to my bar?”

You sniggered. “How about never?”

“Hey, you ladies are being very mean tonight. I complimented your lasagne.” Hm. That was true, you guessed. “What’s wrong with my bar? I think he’d love it. What does he drink? I see him as a dark rum type of guy.” 

You shrugged. “He was drinking red wine on our date last week.” It still made you feel funny to say the word date. You’d gone on a date. You were dating. A flurry of excitement found its way to your stomach, your excitement for Saturday growing. 

“Interesting,” Taehyung mused.

Soojung stood up, starting to collect your plates. “Okay, I’m washing, who’s drying?”

“Not me,” you sang. “I’ve cooked nearly every night this week.” 

Soojung eyes were wide when you met them, as if she was silently begging you. For what? “Just please promise me there won’t be any lasagne waiting for me after work tomorrow night? I’m going to turn into one at this rate.” 

Saturday arrived soon enough. You woke up the same time your phone went Bing and you knew exactly who it was. Seokjin had been texting you Good morning every day since Monday. He was no longer signing them off with his name, which was progress, and he was even adding more emojis, so you guessed you had rubbed off on him. 

Sometimes he’d drop a meme with the greeting. They were mostly to do with early mornings and workloads to which you’d tease him about because it was your summer vacation after all, you didn’t need to worry about work. But you always sent a Hope today runs smoothly his way too. You didn’t want to rub it in too much. 

Yesterday’s meme had been about dating, something about the guy trying to flirt but being garbage at it and asking if she liked cheese. You didn’t agree that was like Seokjin though – you were gradually learning that he was incredibly modest – but it had made you laugh. Only Seokjin could send you lame memes and you’d find it adorable… You were possibly whipped. 

Seokjin (8:01am)  Good morning. [Image sent] 

Today the meme was about lasagne, which made you question whether he was googling these every morning because no way had a lasagne meme popped up on his social media – if he used any at all. The realisation that he was searching for memes every day was even more endearing and your heart got a little gooey. You read the text on top of the image of lasagne. Dude, is that your new white shirt? Lemme just hop off this fork for a closer look. You genuinely laughed at that one, still wrapped up in your bed sheets. So incredibly lame, but equal levels funny. 

Seokjin (8:01am)  I will not be wearing white… I can’t wait to see you later. Just a reminder that I hope you omitted the garlic for tonight’s meal. I don’t want to embarrass myself by itching all night ����😂

Immediately the smile dropped from your face and you shot forward, horror washing over you. Oh no. He was allergic to garlic. With the stress of perfecting the world’s best lasagne you’d totally forgotten. What were you going to do? Find a plain tomato sauce? Where the hell were you going to find one? Was that even a thing? You needed to leave now. Jumping out of bed you almost forgot to message Seokjin back. Looking at your phone again the image of the lasagne mocked you… 

.

.

Two hours later you were back at home, in need of a sit down after you’d rushed around town looking for a pasta sauce that didn’t contain garlic (very hard, by the way.) The stress had aged you about ten years. Soojung of course found it highly hilarious. 

“You’d have been in ER before 9pm,” she chortled, still in her pyjamas on the couch. She’d been still asleep when you’d dashed off, a woman on a lasagne mission. 

You ignored her. It wouldn’t have been that bad, right? He said himself he’d only be itching… Clawing off his own skin was probably better than his throat closing up… maybe… 

“How did you manage to forget?” She was still laughing. “AND you said you’d make a lasagne. Italian food always uses garlic. He must think you’re trying to kill him.” At this point you could hardly understand her, words blurring into one as she lost her shit. 

“We went over this. I wasn’t in my right mind when I said I’d cook lasagne.”

She stopped her laugher immediately.  “No way, you’re not blaming me again.” 

“Ugh.” You sighed, suddenly remembering something. “I was going to make my homemade garlic bread.” Now that was a speciality of yours. This night was going to be a disaster.

“Skip the garlic,” Soojung suggested. 

“So, just bread then.” 

She tried her best not to laugh again, not wanting to make it worse. “Yum.” 

It didn’t help. 

What did help though, was making her clean the entirety of the downstairs of the house. As the day went on you started to get more and more nervous, which was silly, but you couldn’t help it. You realised that your place was a shoe box in comparison to his, what the hell were you thinking when you’d invited him here?! It needed to be spotless, to distract him from the fact you would be eating dinner in the same place you would be cooking it… 

You knew there was no need to worry, it was just like last week when you’d grown self-conscious only to be fine once you’d set eyes on Seokjin. No doubt tonight would be just the same, he didn’t give a crap about stuff like that, so why would you even think he would? He’d probably be hurt if he knew… You just couldn’t help those little bubbles of insecurities from floating around inside your brain. You were a law unto yourself, and the garlic-less lasagne wasn’t helping. You’d had no time to prep for it. What if it tasted like cardboard? 

“Lasagne is lasagne,” Soojung reassured you, in the kitchen as you got all the ingredients together. “It’s not going to taste gross just because there’s no garlic in it. Put it this way, at least you can kiss without needing to pop a mint.” 

You whined, shaking your head, you couldn’t even dare thinking about kissing him right now. You’d spontaneously combust from anxiety. 

“Should we clean your room too?” She asked, picking up the jar of pasta sauce absentmindedly. You’d already read the label approximately fifteen times, double checking it was indeed garlic-less. 

“What? No,” you told her, voice all high-pitched. There would be no going upstairs besides from bathroom usage. “But hey,” you exclaimed, rounding on her with the spoon you were holding in your hand. “My room is always clean, bitch.”

She was the messy one.

.

.

Soojung left for Taehyung’s place at half 6, ready for Seokjin’s arrival at 7pm, a hug for good luck before you waved her off. You’d calmed greatly now, nothing like some table laying to ease some nerves. The lasagne was prepped and ready to oven cook, you had a fresh key lime pie in the fridge and you were dressed and presentable with ten minutes to spare. Wonderful. 

The doorbell rung not long after you’d made your way downstairs and you were quickly finding out that Seokjin was a very punctual man. Opening the door to reveal him stood at the porch your heart instantly warmed, skipping a beat when he gave you a dazzling smile and a soft Hey. You felt a little weak at the knees. Nope, you were not ready for tonight. 

In your tiny entryway he offered you a silver gift bag. “I didn’t know what to bring, so.” He said with a shrug as you pulled out a bottle of red wine. 

“Oh, thank you, Seokjin.” You hadn’t been expecting him to bring anything at all. It was a lovely surprise. 

“You probably have some waiting already. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you reassured him. “We’ll use this one.” You were going to use a bottle of white wine you had laying around, nothing special at all. Red wine seemed better, fancier, maybe it would go better with the lasagne?

“Are you sure?” He asked. “I was gonna get you flowers but I didn’t want to freak you out or anything.”

You laughed. What was he going on about? “Why would that freak me out?”

His smile was crooked as he chuckled quietly. “I don’t know. I’m new to this, I thought they would’ve been too forward.” 

You gave a small shrug, voice barely there when you replied. “I like flowers.”

He gazed at you, warm eyes softening as he stepped forward. “Next time.” He smiled. “Next time I’ll get you flowers.” 

You swallowed fairly loudly, averting your gaze as you outstretched your arms. “Let me take you coat.” Was it hot in here? You felt a little stuffy. 

He shrugged off the beige wool blend, revealing the tight fitting black shirt he had on underneath. It stretched over his shoulders, accentuating how broad they were, how hard his chest was and how much his waist curved inwards. The pants he was wearing didn’t help matters too. He looked effortlessly gorgeous, hair parted to the side, a piece curled above his left eye, softening the blow of his exposed forehead. You moved to hook his coat on the rack, realising you could’ve been gawping. Not that you could help it, the man was trying to kill you.

As you turned to face him again, he smiled. “You look really nice.” His voice was soft which just made it even more dangerous. “I think this may be the first time I’ve seen you in pants.” 

“Really?” You wondered. You were partial to a dress in the summer, so he was probably right. You’d chosen a pair of black skinny jeans and a patterned chiffon blouse. Nothing too fancy, but he looked at you with awe-filled eyes. Unless you were imagining it. You cleared your throat. “You look good too.”

He stepped back, arms outstretched as he looked down at himself. “Thanks. No white.” He chuckled. 

You forced yourself to laugh too, nerves creeping back just because of your stupid damn lasagne. “No white.” 

Moving forward again he took your hand. It was warm and soft, just as you remembered from last week. Who cared about the lasagne when you were this close to him? When he was looking down at you with those brown, twinkly eyes? Not you anymore. 

“I’ve been looking forward to this all week, Y/N.” 

Oh.

.

.

You invited him inside the living room first, pouring him a small (and his only because he the car) glass of wine as you chit chatted for a few minutes. Sat next to him was RJ, who you’d taken from your bedroom to join you both for the night. He wanted to say Hi, had been your opening line and Seokjin had found it hilarious, cracking up instantly. Although his “I missed you buddy, how have you been?” went rudely ignored. Maybe the alpaca was nervous… 

Ever the gentleman, he complimented you on the house, noting the décor with a fond eye. That surprised you, maybe he had played a part with the interior of his home. Well, you’d only seen the cosy family room – but it suited him very well. You knew there had been no need to be nervous when it came to inviting him into your home. There wasn’t a judging bone in Seokjin’s body. 

You talked about your weeks, yours had been fine, but of course you left out all the stress over the lasagne. Seokjin’s week on the other hand had been quite demanding, but that was nothing new he told you with an accepting shake of his hand. He was used to it by now, but he had to admit tonight’s date had made it easier this time around. He was full of the charm, not that you were complaining…

Misook was babysitting Arin tonight, he told you when you asked how she was. It was his weekend this week, he and Nana took it in turns – when she didn’t cancel, he added as an afterthought – but he seemed a lot more relaxed talking about his ex-wife this time around seeing as last weekend she hadn’t broken any promises. He was happy if his daughter was happy, and that made you smile. You remembered Arin’s sorrowful face that day her mom had cancelled on her, so you were glad they’d found time to spend time together. You also remembered how irritated Seokjin had sounded when he was opening up to you on the bench at the school fate… You wondered just how often Nana cancelled plans, and couldn’t imagine how frustrating that was for both Arin and Seokjin… You hoped this marked the start of things being easier for them now. 

Soon after that, you served him your starter (“garlic – wait, no I mean, no-garlic bread.”), and you chatted some more over that and while the lasagne baked. It was surprising how little you’d touched the sides on your first date, so tonight you covered even more bases. Family mainly. You told him about your half and step siblings, your parents’ remarriages of course coming up too. He seemed interested in that, wondering about your views on it and if it had affected you as you grew up. As a divorcee you understood the relevance to him and because he was so easy to talk to you found yourself opening up freely. 

His parents were still married and Seokjin was the youngest out of their two sons, so it was quite unheard of for the second born to take over a family company. In fact, it was the first of its kind for his, which made it even harder for him. His older brother had been the rightful heir to LG Electronics but his passion had always been in culinary arts. His parents had been kind enough to let him follow his dreams, and thankfully, for Seokjin, that meant he could follow in his father’s footsteps. He’d been eager to prove himself but it had been hard in the beginning. His status as the youngest son meant that a lot of people set him up for failure, but with his family’s love and belief he’d managed to succeed and confirm himself as the rightful CEO. You didn’t doubt it. It seemed he’d worked hard to get where he was now. That was admirable. 

The influx of information was so interesting to you and it didn’t feel real. While you could imagine Seokjin taking charge, visualising him in that tailored houndstooth suit he’d worn when you’d first met him, it was strange to think the smiley and soft-spoken man sat in front of you was from a long line of power and wealth. He should be untouchable, yet here you were able to reach for his hand across the table. Able to feel his forefinger stroking delicate patterns into your palm as you opened up and got to know one another more and more… 

“So, if your family’s a big deal, what about things like arranged marriages? Are they still a thing?” You asked, maybe confusing fiction for fact. 

Seokjin laughed at your wording. “They used to be, not so much anymore. I met my ex-wife through a friend. They concentrate less on things like that these days.” He shrugged, adding as an afterthought, “As a divorced CEO I think I’m a great example of that.” 

That was true, you thought to yourself, wondering how the breakdown of his marriage had also played a part in the stress of his early years as CEO. 

“I know it all sounds pretty crazy, but I like to think my family is just like anyone else’s.” He continued, smiling bashfully when you met his gaze. “That I’m just like anyone else.” 

You wondered how many people had immediately judged him because of his status… You’d been one of them, right? Even if you hadn’t known any of the details, you’d written him off as some obnoxious, rich guy who flaunted his wealth… You felt guilty thinking back. He was the complete opposite.

You nodded in agreement before grinning. “I’d have liked to see what college Seokjin was like.” 

“A complete nerd, to tell you the truth.” 

He answered so seriously, you didn’t know how to react, and then he was laughing loudly, cracking up at himself. You couldn’t help but join in. That’s when your stove alarm went off, shrill and incessant, signalling the arrival of the dreaded lasagne…

It turned out he loved it though. 

“This is amazing,” Seokjin praised, mouth still half full as he chewed. You did have to admit it was good. It tasted just like the original, despite the lack of garlic. Seokjin quirked an eyebrow, smirking your way. “So, how lucky am I to be able to try this World famous Italian lasagne?” 

“Very lucky.” You kept your answer short. Hoping he’d just drop it. 

He didn’t. 

“How lucky?” He tried to pry from you. “How many people have tried it?” 

You gave him a small smile, hovering your fork over the plate. Technically he was the third, but you couldn’t tell him that, could you? “I can���t disclose that.” 

He emitted a short laugh. “What about the recipe? Care to share?” 

You brushed him off with a soft chuckle. “A chef never tells her secrets.”

“Not even me?” His bottom lip jutted out as he looked across at you. 

Your heart did a little dance. He was being unfair. “Don’t pout like that, it’s making me feel guilty.” 

Thankfully the lasagne topic fizzled out after a couple more minutes, your cold sweat having time to dissipate while you chatted and ate together comfortably. However a few minutes later you noticed Seokjin fidgeting slightly in his seat. You politely ignored it to begin with, unsure if you were just imagining it, but then he started itching the back of his neck. You put your fork down, a sick feeling washing over you. “Is anything wrong?” You asked, now watching him itch up his forearm. “Seokjin?”

He looked at you in mild confusion, eyebrows creasing together as he opened his mouth. “Are you sure there wasn’t any garlic in this?” 

You swallowed away the panic racing up your throat. “I’m sure.” You’d read the back of that jar and then read it some more. “I’m positive.” 

… Weren’t you? You watched him scoot his chair back, leaning down to start scratching the back of his calves. He made noises of discomfort as he did so. 

“Oh, no…” You were up before you could stop yourself, racing around him to start hunting in the recycling for the glass jar. 

“Wait, where are you going?” 

You could hear Seokjin’s voice behind you, sounding alarmed, but you were too panicked to really take it in. You needed to be sure. This was just your second date, you couldn’t ruin things already. Turning him into one giant itchy red blob had not been your intention.  

“I was only teasing you.” Still, his words didn’t sink in. That was until you felt a hand on your elbow, tugging gently for your attention. 

You spun around, worried eyes wide – even wider when you found him so close. He was on his feet too, bent a little to level with you, pretty much within kissing distance. His voice was soft when he spoke, you found yourself distracted by his mouth. “Y/N, I was just messing around.”

You blinked, not truly understanding with all those annoying distractions zooming around your mind, but slowly you pieced his words together. Oh. Despite the relief you felt, now you just felt silly. Plus, he was still so close to you… 

You took a step back, the small of your back pressing up against the counter. You needed a clear head. “Don’t freak me out like that.” You told him, but you still sighed in relief, hand against your chest. “I thought I’d poisoned you.” 

He looked a little concerned, but you could tell by his eyes he found your reaction amusing. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “I just wanted to make you laugh.”

“Make me laugh? You nearly gave me heart failure.” However, you gave him what he wanted, a laugh that sounded weak and shaky, but it was something – you did see the funny side. 

He joined you, shoulders relaxing now that he knew you were okay. He looked behind you, eyes on the trashcan, a bemused smile on his face. “What were you looking for anyway?”

“The jar.” You answered, as if it wasn’t obvious. You turned, deciding to fish it out anyway. Holding it up to him, you were adamant. “See, no garlic. Check.” 

He chuckled. “I already said I was joking.” He took one look at your desperate expression and gave in, taking the jar from your hand. “But if it makes you feel better…” You watched him as he read the label, silently soaking in his handsome features. He looked softer tonight, the curve of his jaw rounding as he smiled. It took you a moment to realise he was done. He handed the jar back to you, and you prayed to God he hadn’t caught you staring at him all gooey-eyed. “It’s fine.” He confirmed. “I’ll be itch free tonight.” 

You smiled and plopped the glass back inside the can. “I looked around town for hour trying to find lasagne sauce sans garlic.” 

He looked guilty. “I’m sorry for being awkward.” Then he paused, eyes narrowing, the hint of a smirk itching at the corners of his mouth. “But… Y/N, are you a fraud?” Huh? What did he mean? You didn’t need to wait long for an explanation. “I thought a certified chef would cook up a batch of her own tomato sauce.”

Oh. You’d gone and put your foot in it, hadn’t you? It was probably time to explain yourself… “I have a confession,” you began, sounding wary. Seokjin looked interested albeit it mildly confused. “I… may have told a little white lie.”

He shook his head, a puff of laughter leaving him. “You’ve lost me.” 

You took a deep breath, knowing you were going to have to spell it out for him. “I’ve never made lasagne before. Ever. In my entire life.” 

He looked confused as silence spread out between you. He sounded it too when he spoke again. “Then why did you say it was your speciality?”

You groaned, dropping your face into your hands for one dramatic moment. “I panicked.” Peeking at him, you babbled on. “I know it sounds stupid but Soojung was curtain twitching and it was stressing me out and then you were asking me what I cooked and lasagne just popped into my head!”

Seokjin blinked, his mouth twitched and then he was laughing – loudly. 

“You find it funny?” You asked, relaxing a tad. 

“Very.” He laughed harder but seeing the look of bafflement on your face he tried is best to still it. 

“I’ve been practicing it like crazy,” you whined, happy you could finally tell him all about your lasagne struggles. “This is my fourth time eating it this week. Soojung nearly killed me.” You snorted at the memory. This started up Seokjin again. “And then I forgot you were allergic to garlic. Your text reminded me this morning and I had to rush out to the grocery store.” 

He was weak at the knees at that, and you were laughing just because he was. It was contagious. “Stop,” you wailed, attempting to get a hold of yourself. This week had actually been quite traumatic. “I’m glad you find it funny, I’ve been in constant stress ever since you drove off last week.” 

“I can’t help it.” He chuckled, although he did sound apologetic. “You’re just so adorable.” The air that settled around his effortless admission made your skin prickle. When he carried on, his tone was gentle. “You know I wouldn’t have minded if you changed the menu to something else, right?” 

You pouted ever so slightly. “But you were looking forward to it.” 

He gave a small shrug. “True, but… that was more so code for ‘I’m looking forward to seeing you again.’ The food was just a bonus. I’d be happy with a Big Mac.” 

You felt your cheeks burn and you tried to shake yourself out of it. “So embarrassing,” you murmured. You didn’t know what for… The lasagne mess or the fact he could have this much of an effect of you? You were inclined to go with the latter. 

“What about the no-garlic bread?” Seokjin asked, changing the subject a little. Maybe he’d sensed your embarrassment and didn’t want to make it worse. He was sweet. “Did you make that?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Well, I didn’t bake the bread. I just toasted it.” It was still a speciality of yours though. “It would’ve been much tastier with the garlic.” 

He gave you an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. This body wants to turn me into a miserable old man.” 

Pfft. Old? Miserable? He was anything but. 

“Sit,” he prompted you, smiling as he motioned with his head to the table. “Finish your World famous Italian lasagne before it grows cold.” 

As you moved he delicately cupped his hand around the curve your waist, giving it a soft squeeze before he got to his chair first. Your stomach flipped, head dizzy as you sat and tucked your chair in. Last Saturday popped into your head, the way you’d loosely held hands outside and how you were sure he’d been leaning in to kiss you – properly. 

You knew one thing. You really wanted to kiss him tonight. 

Trying to get a hold of yourself, you glanced at him, catching his eyes. He was already tucking in again, and he grinned bashfully, as if embarrassed. “This really is great. All that practice paid off.” A pause. “You should show me how you cooked it sometime.” 

Your face lit up in surprise. “You cook?” In the back of your mind you were aware that he’d probably been hinting for a third date, but you were so shocked by the possibly of Seokjin cooking you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. 

He chuckled quietly. “I mean, when I have time and can be bothered. I like cooking but it’s just easier to go to a restaurant or get it delivered.” He looked sheepish before adding, “Or Misook does it for me.” 

There was no shame when it came to that. Seokjin probably worked all hours of the day, no one could expect him to tie on an apron when he got home and start pulling out pots and pans. 

“Do you cook a lot?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Soojung and I take it in turns.” 

“So what is your speciality?” He smiled. 

This time around you were in your right mind and able to answer properly. “Veggie tacos.” 

He raised his eyebrows, impressed. Then he tried again. “Can you make them for me sometime?”

He was persistent, you’d give him that. You shrugged, trying your best to sound impassive but the little smirk gave it away. “Maybe if you say please…” 

He laughed, leaning forward, a hand clasping yours as he tilted his head. The piece of curled hair falling into his left eye. “Please?”

Your heart did another little dance inside your chest. 

.

. 

After dessert you both made your way back to the living room, settling on your couch with two pomegranate mocktails Taehyung had prepared for you yesterday. All you had to do was add the pomegranate juice and lemonade to the ice cubes and crushed lime segments and mint before serving, easy-peasy. Seokjin was highly impressed, but of course you couldn’t take the credit. It was all down to your best friend’s very helpful barman boyfriend. 

You were glad Seokjin wanted to stay as you didn’t want the night to be over yet. It had flown by so fast and you’d had so much fun. You already felt like you knew him better, even after only two dates. It was strange to you, how you could feel so relaxed in a stranger’s company, but then again, you guessed he wasn’t a stranger anymore… Plus, he was so easy to talk to, so interesting to get to know…. Everything between you two came easy. 

Like opening up to him, being a bit more vulnerable… 

“I’ve been slightly nervous all week,” you admitted, clutching your drink to you before chuckling softly. “– and not just about the lasagne faux pas…” 

“There was no need to be nervous. I thought we left all that behind on the first date,” Seokjin reassured, smiling warmly your way. 

You were sat together, turned to face one another. It was intimate and cosy. He had one leg lifted, the ankle resting on the knee of the other leg, and where his pants had ridden up, you could see an inch or so of his calf before it met the black cotton of his sock. For some reason, you found that very, very sexy. Maybe you had been single for far too long. 

“We did,” you agreed, hesitating slightly. “It’s just… I haven’t done anything like this in so long.” 

You didn’t even think you’d ever invited someone around for dinner before. You were still quite young when you found yourself in a relationship with Donghae so your dates before him had been very basic. Your dates with him hadn’t really classed as such just because you became official fairly quickly, and your dates after him, well, it was already known that they had been few and far between. 

“You already know we’re in the same boat,” he smiled before chuckling bashfully. “No, but really, when I asked you for dinner that day at the fate I was expecting you to turn me down.” 

“How come?”

He looked down at his drink, lifting a shoulder. “I thought you’d think that I was crossing a line… or maybe the spark I was feeling was all in my head and in reality you just found me really annoying.” 

That was cute. He’d been doubting himself. Human after all. Not that you’d ever thought he wasn’t. You still didn’t miss the opportunity to joke around though. “I mean, both can exist simultaneously.” He taking a sip of his mocktail when you replied so he ended up snorting into his glass, amused by your wit. 

A moment or so passed and Seokjin gazed at you, smiling softly. If he kept this up, you’d be a puddle on your parquet flooring. “So, tell me,” he hummed. “How did I luck out so good?” You raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant. “How come an amazing person like you isn’t married or in a relationship?”

He must’ve seen the slight shock on your face and panicked instantly. “Is that a weird thing to ask? I feel like it is. I apologise.”

“No,” you insisted, sitting up a little straighter. He followed. “No, it’s not.” You wanted to open up to him. You really did. You just didn’t know where to start. Although, it was pretty simple. “I’ve been single for a while.” 

“How long?” Seokjin was instantly focused, attentive, noticing the change in your body language. 

“Three years. My last relationship didn’t end very well.” You paused, wondering if you should continue. But then… It had been a massive part of your life. No matter how much time had passed and no matter how okay you were now, it had still happened. And Seokjin, he had trusted you enough to open up about his divorce – even before you’d gone on your first date. You wanted to talk about it. You really did. 

“I found out my fiancé was cheating on me.”  

Seokjin’s eyes widened, unable to cloak his surprise. He hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said sincerely. 

“It’s fine,” you smiled. “It was rough getting over it. Took me a while, but it is what it is. It’s in the past now.” 

“Did it put you off dating?” 

You were pleasantly surprised to find it was actually easy to talk to Seokjin about this. Your mouth was opening before you had to think about it. “I mean, at first. I was still very much in love with him, even after he broke my heart. But I got over him and I started dating again – briefly – It just didn’t feel right.” You stopped to smile. “It’s been over a year and I can’t say I missed it… but you…” Nerves growing, you pushed them away. “You’ve changed that. I’m having fun.” 

Seokjin’s face lit up and he chuckled. “I did hit second date status after all.” 

“You did…” 

“So,” he leaned closer, a small smirk on his face. “You could say, hitting your car that day wasn’t actually my fault because it was supposed to happen.” 

You snorted as you laughed, head falling against the back of the couch. “I wouldn’t go that far.” 

He made a sound. “But we wouldn’t have met otherwise.” 

“We would!” You exclaimed. “The parent-teacher meeting.” 

He blinked, feeling dumb. “Oh, yeah.” 

It wouldn’t have had the same effect, granted, but you would have become acquainted with one another regardless. “Would you have still liked me?” You asked without thinking, surprising yourself. 

“Yes,” he replied immediately. “I was instantly attracted to you after all, it’s just…” Instantly attracted? Definitely a charmer... “There would’ve been no way for me to get to know you like I did.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re really adamant that you had to reverse into my car to make this work, huh.”

He shrugged casually. “It was the only way.” 

You laughed quietly, finishing the last of your drink. Time was getting on, it was pretty late, Seokjin had already finished his, you watched him sit up to lean forward and place the glass on your coffee table. His shirt tightened across his shoulder blades and you could see his back muscles as he stretched. Oh.  

Settling back into the same position, he looked over at you and grinned. His teeth were perfect. Did this man have zero flaws? Why were you so whipped? It was embarrassing. 

“I had fun tonight,” you told him, trying to keep a lid on whatever was going on with you right now. 

He seemed pleased with that, nodding his head. “I’m happy to hear that you think I’m a fun person.” 

You scoffed, body falling closer to his. Your shoulders brushed together. Seokjin didn’t take his eyes off you. “Hm. I don’t think I said that.” 

“Hey, don’t be so mean.” He murmured, one side of his mouth quirking up. 

Like you couldn’t stop yourself, your hand reached for the collar of shirt. He had the top two buttons loose and your pinkie finger brushed against his collarbone. Sparks flew, but you tried to ignore them. “I thought you liked it when I was mean.” You teased, voice low. 

Seokjin hummed, his eyes still twinkled like they always did but there was something else to them, a depth that made you feel funny. He sunk closer to you. So close you could study the thick curve of his eyelashes, notice that both his eyelids were different. He really did have beautiful eyes. You could stare at them forever. 

Preoccupied, you slowly realised that he was watching you too, studying your features in the golden glow of the floor lamp that hovered over the couch. His lips parted, you heard them rather than saw it, but then your attention was on them again. Just like it had been earlier on in the night. He was staring at yours too as he spoke. “I wanted to kiss you last week.” 

You heartbeat quickened but you tried to keep cool. “You did kiss me.” You laughed. 

He sighed. “On the cheek.”  

You lightly tugged his collar, fingertips now brushing the skin of his chest. “Isn’t that what you said you wanted to do?”

You could feel his own heartbeat against your forearm that was pressed into him. It was definitely running a little faster than it was supposed to – stronger. “Yes, but…” He glanced up to your eyes. “I was just being polite. I wanted to kiss your lips.”

It felt like you were holding your breath. Maybe you were, you just couldn’t think straight. Time seemed to stretch out, but you knew what you wanted. So you went after it. Giving him a small smile, you replied. “Maybe I wanted that too.” 

He swallowed, voice so low now it was barely a murmur. “Is that an invitation?” His eyes bounced to your lips again, then back to your eyes as he asked permission. “Can I kiss you?”

You ever so slightly dragged your bottom lip beneath your teeth as you nodded, breath catching in your throat as Seokjin leaned forward and closed the distance between you. The hand in between your bodies moved to delicately hold the wrist of your arm against his chest, holding you there as his other hand reached for your jaw, angling your face to press a kiss to your mouth. His eyes were already closed so you followed. 

He hummed at the contact, his lips soft and warm and you let yourself sink. His actions were light at first, faint as he kept constant pressure, as if he was familiarising himself with the sensation. You couldn’t even let yourself think about how this was the first kiss you’d shared with someone for a very long time. All that was going through your mind was how good it felt to be touched like this by him. 

He readjusted the hand on your face, tucking some hair behind your ear to cup your cheek. You liked that. You liked it when he touched you, and he eased from your mouth completely before coming back with a firmer pressure. It was your turn to make a sound; a tiny gasp as your lips began to move together ever so slowly. He liked that, a hum of satisfaction vibrating against the soft skin of your lips. You clutched at his shirt, gathering the crisp cotton in your fist, that would surely turn it creased, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was too preoccupied with reaching for the glass you’d forgotten was hugged to your body by your free hand. 

He unclasped it from your fingers and had no choice but to break away from your mouth to put it next to his on the coffee table. You whined, attempting to tug him back to you, and he chuckled, taking a hold of one of your hands. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, leaning forward to place the cocktail glass down. 

And he was. 

This time he used both of his hands to grasp your face and dive back in. He was more confident this time, moving in such a way his lips pried yours open. You reached for his shoulders, grasping them to hold him closer and this time you both made noises – sweet, quiet ones that worked beautiful together as your lips moulded with gradual urgency. 

When your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers through his hair, he had to drag the tip of his tongue across your bottom lip, seeking entry. You met it with yours, tasting hints of pomegranate and lime with each wash of tongue. A hand of his slipped down to your side, stroking up and down the curve as if he couldn’t help but to touch you. He settled at your hip after a moment, the other splayed against the side of your neck, his thumb rolling small circles under your cheekbone. 

This was getting addictive. You could tell by the way you moaned softly against each warm, wet curl of his tongue. This was everything you’d imagined and more – because you had imagined it. Late and secretly at night when you were trying to drift off to sleep and thoughts of lasagne were banished… You were glad your first kiss was here, inside, on your couch, because this wasn’t something for the open, your knees wouldn’t have been able to hold you up. 

You could have kissed him forever, you mean, you definitely didn’t want it to stop but you pretty much had to. Breathing was a necessity, right? If you couldn’t breathe you wouldn’t be able to ever kiss Seokjin again and that would be absolutely awful… 

You did it the right way though – gradually. Seokjin slowed it right down, only hints of his tongue left as he hummed indulgently, like he was savouring your taste before he had to inevitably pull away. It made your insides jump around like crazy, hearing him enjoying himself, and you tried your best to come to when he started easing the pressure of his lips, pressing small, chaste kisses to them instead as you ultimately (but slowly) broke apart. 

You opened your eyes, blinking up at him, hands falling from his hair, aware you had become one with your cushions. You struggled to free yourself as he sat back and you watched him smile fondly at you. His breath was shaky – so was yours, and you were sure his hands trembled slightly as one reached up to scratch the back of his neck. His neck that was blotched with red, flushed, travelling to his cheeks. They were rosier than you’d ever seen them before. Your gut stirred. 

“I’ve been dreaming of that,” he told you, before making a face at himself. “Too cringey?” 

You giggled – it sounded foreign. “Just a bit.” But didn’t deter the fact you loved it. 

You warmed when you felt him squeeze your hip, realising his hand was still there and you reached for it, tangling your fingers with his. He pulled them to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly. His expression was thoughtful when he lowered your hands. “In all seriousness, thank you for giving me a chance, after well, you know, everything.”

You smiled, touched by his earnestness, but it was hard to keep a sane mind when his lips were as kiss bitten as they were – deep pink and glistening. You wanted to kiss his face off. 

“It’s no problem,” you quipped, as if you were doing him a favour. 

He chuckled tenderly, and luckily for you he was unable to stop himself from kissing you again. He reached forward, hooking a finger under your chin to press his mouth to yours softly. “I’d really love if we could keep on doing… this.” He murmured. 

“The dating or the kissing,” you grinned, stealing another kiss in the process. 

“Hm,” he contemplated. “Both preferably.” 

And then you were on one another again, eager once more. 

Although, you did manage to pull away briefly to tell him something, his mouth moving to the side of your face to kiss there instead as your hands dragged down his back. You were somehow able to get the words out – ones that made him laugh against your wet jaw. 

“I’m so glad you hit my car.” 

Written 2020 - 2021.  Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

[mariusroyale]

You better give us some headcanons on the crew /j

Unless-

uh hah ha-

LESSS GOOOO

Kwazii:

- what’s the bet he watches and rewatches pirates of the Caribbean

- he’s littered with scars! battle scars he calls em and it stresses out peso bc he doesn’t WANT MORE SCARS ON HIM

- i hc him as bi! he just radiates bi energy to me-

- he blinks slow around peso :>>

- has used his claws to pick locks before!

- kwaso bc duh- he loves rubbing his face against pesos like he can’t help it he jus HAS to bc he loves him sm

- this is sort of canon already but he can’t go a minute without jumping or doing front flips anywhere like he GAHTTA MOVE

- when he’s thoroughly spooked he’ll jump extra high and cling onto the ceiling like in those cartoons akdjdkdh

Peso:

- often studies when he’s not busy!! gotta know more abt how to help sea creatures he hasn’t encountered yet after all

- sings/chirps when he’s v v happy

- FLAPS when he’s happy too hahdkfjd

- i think he’d like watching medical dramas! probably me projecting but i like them

- WHAT IF HES INTO KDRAMAS (ive only gotten into one but that hc is cute ahehsj)

- loves listening to kwazii’s stories!! (this is already canon basically (cough cough, that snail ep in season 5))

- I’d like to think he preens sometimes! just sorta fixing up his feathers and some (kwazii) of the crew are like ‘why are u stabbing urself’

- is a super fast swimmer! this is already confirmed p much but like HELLA FAST

Barnacles:

- enjoys listening to classical music

- also SOME HARD ROCK IF HES FEELING IT

- is BEEG LIKE 🅱️EEG 🅱️EEFY 🅱️OLAR 🅱️EAR

- could sometimes act like captain holt in my version of the crew!

- and by that i mean he sees kwazii as a son and would die for him (not if i die for u first captain!)

- when really really tired (as in u can’t save him with coffee) he’ll just blabber abt how much he treasures the crew and how much he’ll do for them

- sometimes he doesn’t get enough sleep! (like tweak-) and peso as his doctor has to keep him in check cos like yeah captain ur strong as shit but ur still old!!!

- his teefs are super fuckin S H A R P like sometimes when he needs a knife or maybe scissors he’ll just *SLICE*

- he’s obviously a huge softie but man this guy is SUCH a cutie patootie id imagine if he was in a relationship he’d be nonstop affection and all that

- speaking OF affection, he’ll pull kwazii into these big ass BEAR HUGS bc augwh he loves this cat so much “my SO N” “CAP LOOSEN IT A LITTLE IM A BIT SQUISHED-“

- bad at cooking but delights in watching cooking shows from time to time

- probably watches bob ross

- ohhhhh my god he could totally be an artist n stuff

Shellington:

- this one’s so stupid but, tweak and kwazii keep giggling whenever they make him say ‘LAWRENCE CHANEY’ KAHAKAHDS

- I’d like to think he tries to learn new languages too!

- falls asleep at his desk sometimes and one of the crew either carries him to bed or puts a blanket over him

- tries his hand at cooking with his children the vegimals! does not work out well he’s a disaster

- enjoys watching stuff on YouTube! u decide what youtubers he watches

- could hc him as ace!

- does that thing and eats ice

- he’s a lanky guy but almost reaches the captains height in my version

Dashi:

- sometimes when she’s really really frustrated she’ll just accidentally bark and she’ll just be like “😳 my bad-“

- when she’s particularly delirious (exhaustion, probably) she’ll chase her tail

- when she gets really excited her tail will wag really really fast

- adjdk sometimes when she’s super hungry she’ll skip chewing food and just I N H A L E (re: does not bode well when it’s noodles)

- sometimes she’ll just sleep in weird ass positions, neck tilted n all that

- loves dressing up tweak sometimes when she’s comfy with it (gives her her own stylish tomboy fits and stuff)

- LOOOOVES the barbie movies god she grew up on them and sometimes she’ll just watch fashion fairytale or princess charm school

- forces koshi to watch them too (she also loves them)

- visibly winces when kwazii tries mimicking her Aussie (tho it sounds p kiwi to me) accent

- probably watches drag race

Tweak:

- watches game grumps ajdjd

- sometimes gets too loud in her room when playing games cos she’ll get mad n shit

- “GODDDDAAMMIT I WAS SO CLOSE TO COMPLETING IT”

“TWEAK PLEASE ITS 2 AM GO TO SLEEP”

- sometimes she’ll just. eat leaves (even when they’re just on land in the wild if she knows it’s safe she’ll just. *nom*)

- goes NUTS whenever she makes blueprints that are like, detachable parts of a gup that are also modes of transport like she loves that the gup k and gup q

- like making it she’s like “HOHOHOJOUO WE GETTIN FUNKY WITH IT TONIGHT BOIZ” and it’s midnight and ‘bois’ is herself

- wants to redesign the gup f! ofc it was dodgy and is now a teeny artificial reef but she wants to make a new one that looks like the design she wanted initially !! (clownfish im p sure at least)

- her and kwazii get up to stupid shit in my version, assuming it doesn’t harm her gups or other creations

- when she’s pissed off/frustrated, she’ll tap her foot really quick repeatedly

- and while her ears twirl around each other when she’s scared, her nose also twitches!

[jarofstyles]

Dirty Business IV- Macchiato

A/N: This is all we have from these two for now :( but please do let us know if you’d like more!! Thank you so much for reading!

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masterlist

pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

warnings: hints of angst, references to trauma 

word count: 14k

Paris was spectacular. 

It was truly a trip Y/N would never forget. She had Harry had a week worth of incredible sex, delicious dinners, and of course, romance. They’d gotten to know each other quite well, on a deeper level too. Business wise, things went incredibly smooth and Harry had saved the company way more with his deals. Y/N’s father couldn’t stop singing his praises. Y/N has already felt herself healing, showing more of herself around him and to her surprise he was reacting well. Harry really was a good guy, really was committed to her and that was something she was still trying to get through her head. 

When they landed back in New York they didn’t want to separate just yet, so she had the car drop her off at hers so she could put some of her things away before she hopped back in the car to go back to Harry’s. She was very excited to be back, of course, the mugginess wasn’t exactly welcomed. 

“I’m so excited to meet Oliver!” Y/N really had been waiting to meet him the entire trip. “Your friend, Niall, is he there? Or does he just come to feed him?” She asked, feeling like she needed to prepare if she was going to meet his friends. Y/N wanted to make a good impression.

“Yeah, he came to feed Oliver but he went home. You can meet my friends soon, if you want. We go to the bars sometimes on fridays and you can come with me.” Now that they were a thing— a real thing— he was going to have to integrate her into more of his things. More of his lifestyle. He was curious as to what she would like about it and what she wouldn’t. It was fairly obvious she had grown up in the rich world and hadn’t been in the middle class let alone broke territory. That’s what Harry was used to. No matter how big or rich he got, he wouldn’t forget that. Or fast food or primark jeans and tee shirts. “C’mon then.” He was a bit worried about her seeing his place but... she wasn’t judgey, he didn’t think. The girl was a diva but didn’t seem to value people less because of their monetary value.

Y/N thanked the driver again as they got out of the car, helping Harry with his bags before making her way towards the apartment. A brownstone. How cute. Of course, he probably wasn’t renting the whole thing, maybe just a floor. When they walked up the steps she smiled, happy he was on the second floor. Higher ceilings meant more space. Had a balcony too. Once they stepped inside she was greeted by the smell of something woodsy... hints of cinnamon and vanilla. It was very Harry. Of course. He turned the lights on and Y/N smiled to see that it was a lot like she had expected. Brick interior, lots of books and vintage looking things. 

“Baby, this is so cute.” She cooed, immediately feeling like she’d be coming over a lot. It had a homey feel that she wasn’t used to. His place looked very lived in which was nice. Y/N was constantly living in homes where not a single thing was meant to be out of place, looked like a damn museum. Her house was a little messy, but still. It wasn’t cozy like his.

“There’s my boy!” Harry smiled when he heard the patter of little kitten feet and a few mews coming from the hall. The orange kitten appeared and went straight for his dad, climbing up the leg of his jeans before Harry grabbed him. “There you are. I’ve missed you.” He kissed all over his little face as frantic putts left the tiny thing. He was so happy! This was a joyous occasion. “Want to say hi to Y/N? Yeah?” He asked, gently placing the kitten into her hands. The kitten was purring and let out a little chirp in interest as it sniffed her skin, little tongue peeking out to lick it. He felt his heart melt as he watched her kick off her shoes and hold the little kitten he loved so much, cooing softly at him.

Y/N was all soft and melty at the sight of Harry and his kitten, he certainly had missed him and Y/N understood. She would miss Harry too. Hearing the kitten let out such excited mewls made her heart happy, clearly excited to be back with his owner. Of course, Y/N was more than happy to give them their time. 

“Oh hello!” Y/N cooed, gently taking off her shoes so she could properly give the kitten attention. “Aren’t you the cutest little thing?” She pet over his tiny little head, scratching at his ears and smiling when he closed his eyes and purred for her. “Sorry I kept your daddy away from you, promise, it won’t happen again for a while.” She told the kitten and held him close to her chest, pressing a kiss to his little nose. She looked up at Harry with an excited gleam in her eyes, walking over so that he could show her around and give her the tour. He had quite a lot of space, more than she expected at least. Yes, everything was sort of cramped up into an open plan with few walls but it worked. She liked it a lot.

“We've got the kitchen, just off of here.” He pointed. It was an older one, definitely dated but it fit the feeling of the space. He had added a microwave but everything else came with the apartment. “The living space. The couch is kinda ugly but.. fucking comfortable. It was my first splurge here.” He pointed to the worn leather sectional with ottoman, made to look vintage but so comfortable. “Then we have my bedroom over here.” He had her following him as he turned on lights and Oliver purred in her arms. There was one cat tree in the living area and one in his room near the large windows. His bed was lower set but covered in a soft faux down comforter and lots of pillows because he liked comfort. There was a shelf with books and then his closet. “I have a tiny office but it’s a mess. It’s my desk and shelves.” He opened the door for her to see. It was messy with papers on the desk but he was over exaggerating with it. It was fine.

“A mess? Please baby, that’s normal.” She knew her father definitely had a much messier desk in her childhood home, wasn’t so sure about now but yeah. Y/N took a seat on the bed, smiling at how soft and comfortable it was. The only problem is that he probably slept in it with Caroline. “It’s really nice, baby. I like it a lot.” She said with a smile, placing Oliver in her lap in which he circled around a few times before curling up in her lap closer to her tummy. He most likely liked how warm she was. Y/N was melting though, looking up at Harry with glossy eyes because the kitten was so damn cute. “How could you even leave him? Oh my goodness... I would have had such a hard time.” Y/N pouted, noticing he was starting to unpack his stuff. It made sense though, he probably just wanted to get everything out of the way and change into something comfy.

Harry stopped unpacking when he turned round to look at her. She was sitting on his bed, with his kitten on her lap. It looked like she belonged. Like the girl was meant to be there with him. He wanted this forever. His smile was soft as he walked to her, leaning down to kiss her gently before going back to unpacking. He didn’t say why he kissed her and he could feel her confusion but acceptance of it as he took out a large sweater for her. It was a bit chilly in the apartment because the air con was actually good. He needed to turn it down. 

Y/N didn’t expect him to come over and kiss her like that, but it definitely did feel nice. Felt like she was very welcome here, like this was her safe space and that here she could do whatever she wanted. That she could be relaxed and herself and no one would judge. Harry would always make her feel overwhelmingly appreciated. She loved that about him. 

“Here. Put this on for now, the air conditioning is strong right now. Gonna go turn it down.” He left her in his room as he went to the hall to turn the thermostat down. He could hear her apologizing to Oliver as she must be changing.

“Sorry, angel. I know.. one second. Promise it’ll be even more cozy.” Y/N spoke, changing out of her outfit. It was always so nice just to dress down. The sweater was big on her but it was perfect that way. She reached in her bag and found a scrunchie, pulling her hair up into a messy bun and sitting back down comfortably on the bed with Oliver in her bare lap now. She was leaning with her back against the wall, a pillow behind her as she gently let the kitty who was enjoying her thighs. He pushed his paws against them, stretching his fingers out. He was precious. Is this how normal people lived? We’re these the pleasures of everyday life?

Harry came back in with a smile, seeing her leaning back on the bed. He took the television remote and threw it next to her as he began to unbutton the shirt he had been wearing. 

“Choose something’ to watch, baby.” He murmured, opening the closet to grab a soft tee shirt and sweats. He needed some comfort and Y/N and a good pair of sweats could easily be it. “Gonna grab us some waters and then I’ll be back.” He got up in the middle of the night for water so he always kept bottles in the fridge. Getting them, he walked back towards the room. It was only when he sat again did he realize— he was fucking starving. 

“Shit. I could really go for some dominos. You in?”

Y/N took over the remote, going on to Netflix and finding something that she felt like they both would be into. A nice feel good movie or something. She needed help choosing though so she decided she’d let him pick from her options once he sat back down. Her brows furrowed when he mentioned dominos. 

“What?” She asked, turning her head to look at him. He looked shocked at her answer. “What is that?— don’t give me that look baby...” Y/N whined hating that she had no idea what he was talking about. She was always embarrassed whenever something like this was brought up because if she didn’t grow up the way she did she’d know what that was. The rest of the world knew. 

“Hold on— we are getting dominos. S’pizza, baby. Can’t believe you’ve never had it!” He muttered in surprise, checking his phone and opening the app. Of course he had the money to get better stuff but it was comforting. “And we’re gonna get... 2 pizzas, Parmesan breadsticks and the cinnamon breadsticks.” He said decidedly. Yes. Absolutely. It sounded so good. “Christ, feels like the munchies. Haven’t smoked in a bit but even still.” He laughed, rolling on his side to hug her after he ordered. 

“Oh— okay, yeah.” She chuckled and felt a blush creep on her cheeks. “My mom never let me eat fast food as a kid and I never had cause I wouldn’t know what to get.” She explained shyly, “Do you wanna watch a Disney movie, a Rom com, or just comedy?” She asked curiously, feeling like she was in the mood for all three. Y/N knew sometimes when she was comfortable she could act like a child, Harry very much knew that after spending a whole week with her, but now being in a home environment it was different.

“Mm. Hate to break it to you, baby bun. But you’ll be having lots of fast food and will know what you like. S’a guilty pleasures, especially after smoking or drinking. Don’t tell your dad about the smoking though.” He requested though knew she wouldn’t. Y/N had missed out on a lot because of her parents. She hadn’t told him that explicitly but it wasn’t hard to miss that she was probably not having the most welcome upbringing. He could see in her eyes that she resented her mother especially whenever it came up. “Hm. I think... Disney, maybe? Proper cuddle material while we wait.” He wasn’t too picky and he was more so in the mood to bury his face in her tits and relax. Then eat. Yeah, he could go for some food. The airplane had snacks but no full meals because Y/N said it wasn’t worth it unless they brought it on at the airport. Besides, he was a lot more relaxed at home and that much was obvious.

“I won’t tell him if you won’t.” Y/N chuckled, knowing she had her own set of drug problems. As every fashion person did, she smoked cigarettes on occasion and did her fair share of cocaine as well. It wasn’t her proudest point, but everyone had to let loose somehow. It was just unfortunate she hadn’t found Harry sooner, maybe she would have a reason to not be so dependent on substance. That was all on her though. 

“Wanna cuddle, but Oliver looks so cozy.” She pouted, seeing the kitten all balled up and cozy in her lap. Y/N sighed and picked him up, pulling Harry to koala on to her the way she usually did with him and placed Oliver at her shoulder so he could nuzzle himself there. This was nice. Perfectly cuddled up and surrounded with warmth, between Harry and Oliver, Y/N felt properly complete. Nothing could touch her or hurt her here. None of her parents expectations, none of the social pressures, just warmth and comfort and love. Y/N placed a kiss on top of Harry’s head, hands combing through his hair the way he liked. It seemed to relax him well.

“Have I ever told you that I love your tummy?” Harry asked, his hand had gone under the sweater and ran his hand over it. “Really. S’cute. Wanna leave love bites all over it. Haven’t cum on it yet but I’d like to at some point. S’just great.”

Feeling Harry’s hand on her tummy made Y/N feel rather vulnerable. It wasn’t something that she heard often, or ever for that matter. She often hated that she had meat on her bones because she could never really be a model or anything like that. Other times it made her happy because she knew lots of men went wild for her curves. But to compliment her tummy? That was a first. 

“No...” She murmured shyly, feeling her cheeks get all red and her eyes tearing up a little because it just hit home. It hit really hard. Y/N pressed a long kiss to his head, whispering a thank you against his hair. It was something that she never thought she’d hear, having it heard it from her mother nearly everyday of her life growing up.

“Yeah, baby. Love it a lot.” He leaned his head up to kiss her before he slid down and lifted the sweater up to kiss on it. Tender kisses all over the incredibly soft skin, he hummed happily as she played with his hair. Normally when he was between her thighs he was at her cunt but right now he was having fun just kissing from under her breasts to her waistband of her panties. “S’so pretty. All mine.” He sucked gently on the middle of it, watching her face. Oliver has abandoned ship to go lay in his basket, and she has the ability to readjust herself now. “Soft and smooth and all mine.” He repeated. He liked knowing she was his but he also had a feeling she liked being claimed. His kisses moved from her tummy to her thighs, kissing up her legs until he got to her ankles. “The prettiest legs... sexiest feet too.” He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he really did like her feet. Kissing the bottom of her heel, the sole, then the arch.

Y/N was enjoying him properly kissing at her. She liked feeling all loved up on, especially by Harry. He was very good at making her feel appreciated and beautiful, it’s like he worshiped her but that’s the way that she liked it. To have control over him in some way even if he had control in every other way. It was the feet comment that surprised her. She always had small feet, made her rather clumsy, but they were always pedicured and smooth. Most women that wore heels all the time didn’t have the most attractive feet, but Y/N certainly took care of hers. She hadn’t realized how sensitive they were either until he started kissing on them. She squealed a little, feeling ticklish at the arch, his stubble pricking at the soft skin. It was the little things like this that made her realize he really was into her. Harry clearly appreciated a woman’s body, wanted to give her his all. She’d happily take it too.

“Mm. I like them quite a bit.” He smirked, kissing each of her toes. She was squirmy but he didn’t stop until each one had been kissed. It was fun to worship her and show her exactly what she was. Perfect. “I really enjoy touching you all over. Your thighs, your stomach, tits... all of you is so beautiful. Y/N. I feel like no one has properly told you just how stunning you are.” He frowned, looking over her body. “But that’s what I’m here for. Wanna hear a kink of mine?” He hadn’t admitted this to her before but she looked incredibly intrigued. “Mm, there are two. First are your feet. Never had a thing for feet before but yours are gorgeous. Gonna get you a toe ring or something. Love seeing them in heels. Sexy as fuck.” He kissed the side of her foot before letting it down, moving back to lay between her thighs with his hands back on her stomach. “Second one is a bit more taboo. Obviously.. can’t happen now. But I love the idea of gettin’ you pregnant. Watching your tummy grow. Being full of me. Cumming in you so it catches and you’re all mine, fully.” He nipped Above her belly button. “If you ever need me to cum, that’s the type of talk that’ll get me going quick. My Achilles heel, if you will.” He realized he needed to be open with her and tell her more so she would in turn open to him. “Didn’t know I had these kinks until you. Must be Y/N exclusive.”

“Never had a guy who likes feet before...” Y/N was a bit surprised at his admission, but she figured that it was his way of opening up and letting her in. If they were going to be having sex often it would be important to know what he liked. Y/N smiled at him, “can pick what color I get my nails done then, yeah?” She decided she’d be texting him every time or asking him the day before just so she knew what he wanted. “Wanna get me pregnant one day?” She asked curiously, deciding it would be an interesting topic to discuss. Y/N would of course happily have his child, especially if he would be the owner of the company. It was strange because she knew they just started dating, but he basically signed himself into having her hand in marriage. If he wanted the job he couldn’t leave her in a way. “I’ve got a thing for hands... and I really like your hands.” Y/N said and bit her lip softly, “and you know I do like when people are watching or can hear.” Their little escapade with Caroline on the phone proved that. “But a little more taboo though, I do really like being tied up... I struggle a little but it’s part of the act. Like being slapped and spanked too but...”

“Yeah? Wow... that’s hot.” He admitted bluntly. “Like to be slapped? Gotta work up to that. Your face is so precious..” he caresses it from his spot at her stomach. He would if she wanted it through. “Tied up.. that's especially hot. A struggle. Could be fun for role play.” He wondered just how kinky his girl could get with him. He would have to explore more of her. They had 2 days until he had to return to work and he was curious if she wanted to spend it with him. “Now spanking... we have tried and I love it. But I like that you like my hands. They’re on you whenever I have the chance.” Now that it was clear his job wasn’t on the line for daring her, he wasn’t as nervous. Granted he didn’t want to flaunt it too much but, Y/N was worth the ridicule he would face. “But yeah. Wanna get you pregnant for sure. Pretend until then. It’s just sexy to me.”

She was all warm and fuzzy at the thought of him agreeing with her, thinking it was hot. Her sweet sweet boy. Y/N turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand.

“Roleplay huh?” She raised her brow, “feel like that could be fun.” Y/N was excited at that thought because they could fulfill any fantasy they had. “Could pretend you’re trying to get me pregnant if you want, don’t mind that.” Y/N was on the pill and if it didn’t work and she actually ended up pregnant it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. What she was more excited about, was exploring this concept of roleplay a bit more. “What ideas did you have roleplay wise?” She asked curiously, “kinda already had a few fantasies come to life.... bosses daughter, having a mistress...” Y/N teased with a small smirk. “Could have all sorts of fun, hmm?”

“All sorts of fun. I like the idea of you stealing me away. Like you did in a sense... dunno. It’s so hot to me. Maybe be a little maid, know that my wife isn’t giving me what I want so you show me what I need. Or a teacher one. You being a terror of a student who needs a bit of punishment. The opportunities are endless.” They could do so much. “What are you thinking, baby? What gets you all wet?” He was curious to know what she would really get off on when it came to scenarios.

Y/N listened and hummed at the thought of all these scenarios. She was getting all excited, excited to try things out and see where they went. “I like those... a lot.” She hummed, her mind specifically liking the one where she’s tied up. 

“Just really like the idea of you taking complete control.. anything like that gets me going.” It might be her escapist complex, but anything where she didn’t have to be herself was already a win for her. “Wonder just how taboo you are with it though...” Y/N wouldn’t judge because she was rather kinky, but she didn’t want to say something that would freak him out. “You know all those classic porn set ups... the step sibling ones, can pretend we hate each other, pretend we’re cheating... love the idea of like.. animalistic sex. Maybe a police officer? All kinds.. think you’d just be hot doing anything to be honest.”

“Trust me.. I’m in for anything.” His eyes darkened at the scenarios. Nothing would scare him away from her. Nothing at all. He couldn’t be swayed. Not when potentially best found his soul mate in this woman. “Fuck.. all of those. Step sibling, cheating.... you want me to lose it hm? Want me to get all primal with you.” He could see a pattern in her. She liked doing what she wasn’t supposed to, and doing it as taboo as she could. He loved that. “Don’t have to worry about how taboo you are with me, baby. Nothing can scare me away. I want it dirty and kinky and wrong.” He licked his lips. “Made love to you the first night and it was amazing but... sex with us could be so much fun. I’d love to do all of those.” He wanted that badly. To have adventurous sex. “Like doing it where people can hear or know we’re fucking too. May have to take you to one of those fancy stores and have you in their dressing rooms.”

That last suggestion hit differently, that being something quite realistic for Y/N. Of course she knew that since she was a loyal customer they’d never tell her she couldn’t come back, but it would definitely be a place where she would at least have to be a little quiet. 

“Come up here.” Y/N mumbled, wanting him back up with her so that she could properly kiss on him. “Already got me going and we’ve got a pizza to eat...” She whined, cupping at the side of his neck and leaning up to kiss him hungrily. Y/N doubted they’d be able to hold back for long anyway, they’d spent 6 hours on a plane and an hour ride back without doing anything. That was a new record. “Gonna let me live out all my fantasies, hmm? Especially when you’re the CEO... gonna fuck me on your desk.” Y/N mumbled against his lips, “Gonna call you daddy for real too... can’t wait.” She really was so eager to please him especially in knowing that he was just as adventurous as she was. She couldn’t imagine why on earth he denied her for so long if his ex was as vanilla as he described.

“Course. Gonna try out every fantasy we have, I think. S’never gonna get boring with us.” He knew that pretty well. Y/N was exciting and full of new prospects. She was a dream. It was then that he heard the doorbell ring. “Fucks sake. Gotta open the door with this stiffy now.” He sighed, gently peeling himself from her. 

“That’ll be one lucky pizza person.” Y/N chuckled, smirking to herself because she knew she had a sexy ass boyfriend who looked incredibly fuckable right now. Of course, they’d have to eat pizza... and probably brush their teeth after so they didn’t taste like garlic, not that either of them cared but still. 

“Be right back, baby.” He grabbed his wallet with the tip included, opening the door to a younger teenage girl who flushed at the sight of him. His mouth was red from kissing and Harry a mess, and his cock was visibly hard in his sweats. A tiny smirk raised on his face as he took the food and gave her a 50, telling her to keep the change. Which was quite a bit, to be fair. He made his way back into the room, placing the food on the bed. At her shocked look it was apparent she never really ate in bed like this but it was a first timer for everything. “Can’t wait for you to try this. S’better when you’re drunk but I think every food is.” 

“Really?” She eyed him and saw he was getting cups for their soda. This was new for her. It did smell really good. “Okay.. teach me, what should I eat first?” Y/N asked, wondering if there was a way to eat it. Thankfully, he had ordered a basic cheese pizza and then the other had toppings on it. She’d try both. Taking a bite was like heaven. It tasted so fucking good she moaned louder than expected. “Oh my god— how is this food?” She asked with a mouth full. Y/N was practically ready to inhale it. Never did she think it would taste like this.

He grinned proudly to himself. Yes. Finally, he had introduced her to the delicacies in his world. She may have Caviar, but Harry had dominos and McDonald’s at 3 am. A proper little feast.

“Can’t believe you’ve never had it before. Welcome to my world.” He chuckled, obviously teasing her. “S’the world of calories and carbs. I have to work out for sure sometimes but it’s worth it, I think.” He shrugged. Yeah, it was. Y/N wouldn’t need to work out. Secretly he wouldn’t mind if she got a bit thicker. He just loved that. “Mm.” He took a drink of his water as he watched her do a little happy dance at the taste. She was so beautiful. He was lucky. Genuinely so lucky. “You’re cute.” He grinned at her. She stopped and looked at him with full cheeks of pizza and blushed a little bit. He loved it. She was so real at his house. Not that she wasn’t real other times but this felt so much more authentic to what he saw in her.

“It’s so good!” She told him, eyes wide as she continued to eat. Y/N couldn’t tell you the last time she had any carb that wasn’t gourmet. Maybe never. Y/N has pizza but only the really flat veggie packed stuff. Not this bready cheesy goodness. “You’re an angel.” It might seem small to most people, but not to her. Her mother never allowed her to eat stuff that all the other kids were able to eat, even when she went to birthday parties she’d have her eat something else. It was always embarrassing, she felt almost guilty eating a lot of it but she couldn’t stop herself. Y/N blushed, looking at him as if she’d been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to but eventually cracked a smile and giggled a bit. “‘s good I can’t help it..” She mumbled and took another bite, holding the pizza with both of her hands.

He was falling in love with her and he knew it. He could tell by the way his heart beat harder Just looking at her. She sat there and giggled over pizza and was in his sweat and damn, did he want to rail her right now. 

“We can get it whenever you want, baby. Gotta start indulging a little bit.” He wasn’t going to let her hate any bit of her or hold herself back for stupid reasons. She was going to enjoy life with him, damn it. “You’re so lovely.” He gently rubbed her thigh before returning to his own pizza. Still, he watched her. He felt himself falling. And he wasn’t scared of it. Not at all. He was welcoming it. He had a feeling she needed someone to love on her and Harry had a lot of love to give. Especially to her. He wanted to make her feel beautiful and appreciated because he knew it meant a lot to her.

----

Y/N didn’t mean to. 

She didn’t mean to be so clingy but she couldn’t help it. Spending time with Harry felt like walking on air, she had not a single worry when she was with him and it seemed like she could do no wrong. So forgive her for clinging on to such positivity and light, that’s all she ever craved and wanted. 

It started with her coming into his office for just about any reason she could think of, she would stick around until he father or someone else called her to do something. She didn’t even say much when she was in his office, just came to sit down and hang out with him and listen to him handle business. Then, it moved on to her asking if she could come over... little by little she started coming over his house nearly every single day, taking care of Oliver or even helping him with his chores. Yes, that’s right, she even did chores for him. Willingly. She moved on to buying him more gifts. More vintage stuff, new clothes and decor. Little things that she knew he would like, things she knew would make him smile. Be it a movie poster or a vinyl. Anything she could find, she got for him. She loved him, felt like she needed to thank him for everything.

Harry was a bit shocked to say the least. He had assumed that maybe she would be a bit of the type that would want gifts, but Y/N was the opposite. Instead she was the one bringing him things like watches or buying him fucking gucci boots, records or movies and first editions of books be liked. He didn’t really know what to do. He loved that she was thinking of him but didn’t want her to spend money like that. The suggestion not only fell on deaf ears and he woke up to a knock on his door and Y/N with a gourmet breakfast sandwich in hand the following day. It wasn’t like he didn’t like the fact she was around. She was lovely. Y/N made him feel like a king. But he also worried if he was doing enough. If she wanted more. How he could do that. 

It was a huge change from being alone most nights, to Y/N calling at 10 pm with a pout in her voice that she was cold and lonely. He usually ended up with her in his arms half an hour later. The thing that worried him the most was work. His reputation was still important to him and while Y/N was trying— she was also trying to sneak. Nearly every day this week he had seen her and had her come in to bring him a coffee and pout her lips for a kiss, only getting one after the door was closed.

Today, just like every other day, Y/N brought coffee and breakfast for herself, her father and Harry. Her father was of course on board with her buttering Harry up, happy that his favorite employee was dating his daughter. Of course, Harry didn’t realize Y/N had told him that. 

“Hi baby!” She cooed, walking right over to him with her heels clicking against the floor. “Brought you your favorite... and a little treat because it’s the weekend.” Y/N hummed, looking at him with a bright smile. Harry thought that them being together would threaten his reputation, but to be honest, it was making it even better. Her father was even more inclined to give him the promotion, more inclined to give him a bonus, more responsibility, and more paid time off. All because he was making his little girl happy.

“Hi, my angel.” He said lowly, motioning his head to close the door first. He didn’t love hiding their relationship but he also knew that Y/N was quite loud. And the people on this floor were very nosy. As soon as it was closed, he motioned her over so she could sit with him, but instead she found her seat in his lap. Hm. Well, that wasn’t a complaint, really. She felt good. The way she sat on his thighs and brushed her long nails through his hair... well? He couldn’t complain. “You’re being awfully sweet.” He said suspiciously. “What are you avoiding asking?” He knew the way she was when she wanted something. While she was normally sweet? Y/N got this little look. This little giggle to her words and batting of the lashes to soften whatever blow there would be it he wasn’t happy.

Y/N tried not to take it to heart, him choosing to hide their relationship while at work. She tried to remind herself that this was something he wanted and she needed to respect that, Y/N was working on putting some of his needs first. It was something she read on a relationship blog once. After closing the door and letting herself into his lap, she got comfortable, setting the food on the clear space of his desk and humming a little bit as he leaned into her touch. 

“I’m not...” Y/N mumbled, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Was just... thinking maybe we could go out for lunch today? And then... maybe you and Oliver could come over to mine for dinner?” She knew it wasn’t really much to ask in her mind, but she just wanted to do something for him because he was constantly doing stuff for her. In his eyes, he wasn’t doing much at all, but to her? He was opening up a whole new world she never got to experience. “Cause we’re always hanging out at yours, and I really like it at yours... I just wanted to show you my place and like... hang out and stuff, but we don’t have to!”

“Oh? That’s all?” He was expecting something else. The nerves she had looking a bit, he had expected something much more extreme. Going to her house wouldn’t be an issue. “Lunch, yeah. That’s fine. Just tell me where to go. We can go to yours tonight, pumpkin. I didn’t want to ask to go cause I was letting you keep privacy is that was something you wanted. But I’m happy to come over. Oliver will love to as well.” He knew the kitten loved Y/N possibly more than him. It was crazy. He was incredibly confused at how Y/N had so quickly managed to sneak herself into every bit of his life but she did. He didn’t mind at all, either. That’s the crazy part. “I'd like to see your stuff. I’m curious to see all the things you’ve got.” She said she collected stuff so he was happy to finally be let into that part of her. Plus, he would have a much larger bed. She had said she had a California king. His was a queen so, it would be a welcome change.

She still had that little voice in her heart saying she asked for too much. Her previous boyfriends didn’t like how clingy she was and she tried to wind it back as much as she could. With Harry she just couldn’t seem to hold back though, she constantly wanted his attention and praise as if one day he’d turn on her. She was slowly learning how to properly trust. 

“Really?” Y/N smiled widely at his agreement and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. She kept it quick because she knew he would scold her, but she giggled and went to kiss his cheek. “Yay!” She genuinely couldn’t wait to have him over. Y/N has lots of space for Oliver to roam around, she had already bought him a little box and some food. Even bought him some toys to play with in preparation. She was thinking of getting herself a kitten too because she liked Oliver so much. “I’m excited... we’re going to have so much fun! I can’t wait!” Y/N was practically bouncing in her seat. “Eat your breakfast, baby.” She cooed to him, nodding at the breakfast that was laid out on the desk. Y/N, in the meantime, pulled out her phone to make a reservation for lunch at Harry’s favorite fancy place.

He watched as she made a reservation. Her mood was significantly higher today, as yesterday he hadn’t been able to have a sleepover with her because he’d gotten back very late and had to go in early. She felt a bit more clingy today in energy but... honestly? He wasn’t angry about it. It was a good type of clingy. A good type of feeling to him. It was a warm and fuzzy type of thing that had him smiling when he realized she always liked to have a hand on him. It made him feel a bit less bad for telling off a dickhead in the break room who had commented on her tits. He hadn’t told her about that though. He had been professional but displeased and told him if he heard something else like that about a guess that he would go to HR. Or her father directly, more like. It was hard not to punch him in the snotty face. “I did miss you last night.” He murmured. “A lot less warm, even though you’re a blanket hog.”

Y/N set her phone down on his desk and moved to push some pieces of hair away from his face as he ate, she was hoping he wasn’t too busy. Not that her dad would mind if he didn’t get something done on time because of her. She had the upper hand that way, father’s guilt and all.

“Hey!” She pouted, “am not!” Y/N scrunched her nose and let out a little sigh. “Just wanna be closer to you, don’t know how the blanket gets there.” She really did wish she could stay clung to him as they slept. He was so warm and comfortable, but tonight they’d be sleeping on her massive bed so there would be plenty of room for them. She had a big big plan for dinner, she was actually going to cook it herself. She had been practicing and it turns out she wasn’t bad at it at all. 

“What’s your favorite food?” Y/N asked curiously, knowing she had asked him before but she wanted to make sure so she could get the stuff to make it tonight.

“Hm. I like loads of things. Love chicken parm, I like tacos. Egg rolls. I dunno, I don’t know if I have one set favorite. I have categories.” He hummed around his food. “Love ginger lemon scones and strawberries on waffles for breakfast. Also that Nutella shit on French toast.” He felt more comfortable around her to speak freely. “And I have my favorites at fast food places. A loaded question.” Harry really did like his food and loved to eat. It was a lot. He knew that much. 

Y/N took notes, thinking about what she could manage to make for them tonight. Chicken parm seemed simple enough, she could definitely cook them up some of that. Some pasta on the side. It would be perfect. The waffles idea sounded great for breakfast and she could manage that too. She had everything. Y/N felt like she was doing something right for once, trying to be a normal girlfriend for him.

“But—“ he wasn’t interrupted by the door slamming open, Y/N’s hand holding his hair as they startled slightly to see a frazzled woman walk in. 

Oh, for fucks sake. Caroline. The woman looked irritated seeing Y/N sat up on his lap, legs bare as her skirt didn’t cover much when she sat. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Y/N looked over and spotted Caroline, her face immediately falling. There goes her good mood. Y/N wasn’t nice when she didn’t get her way. 

“Who the fuck let you in here?” Y/N snapped, getting up immediately and stepping towards her. Someone was getting fired today, that’s for sure. It had been a few weeks since she and Harry got together, almost a month, and this woman was still at it? Harry stood up and stepped behind Y/N, his arm resting on her waist. He didn’t want a fight to truly break out, as hot as it may be in his mind. Y/N was too important to him to get hurt. He didn’t like it at all. 

“I just walked in! I said I was here to see Harry.” She glared at him. “But I see he’s still busy trying to sleep his way to the top with some used heiress cunt.” 

She just walked in? Oh. Someone was definitely getting fired. 

It was shocking because Harry hadn’t ever seen this type of shit from Caroline. It didn’t really make much sense because Y/N had been with him for a while now. 

“You little—“ Y/N was cut off by Harry voice.

“Caroline... absolutely not appropriate. Y/N is wonderful and I won’t stand you speaking to her or about her like that.” He said darkly, pulling her back into his body.

Y/N felt all warm in her stomach. As sweet as it was, Y/N was still angry and fully intended on handling this all by herself. She placed a hand over Harry’s and thumbed over the skin. 

“You wish someone wanted to use your cunt.” Y/N spat, “get the fuck out of here. It’s pathetic, you couldn’t keep him if you tried....” Y/N’s tone was lethal. “Coming ‘round invited to talk to my boyfriend? About what? What can you offer him that I can’t?” She wasn’t going to let her win this, wouldn’t let her leave unless she was walking out with her tail between her legs.

“He’s going to get bored with you! Get the promotion and use your body until your implants and shit pop! And then he’ll be crawling back to me.” Where Caroline got this type of information or how she thought that didn’t make such sense whatsoever. 

Harry was a bit worried about if Y/N would read into it but she was a scrappy little thing, Harry holding her waist and letting her approach slowly. He didn’t want a physical fight. Y/N nearly raised her hand to slap her but Harry held her back, her jaw clenching. 

“Sweetie, you know full well my shit is real! Give it up!” She was seething, trying to avoid calling her names because she didn’t want to make herself seem like she wasn’t classy. “Think he would want you after me? You’re delusional.” She scoffed before continuing. “Harry was going to get the promotion before he even went to Paris! Hell, probably earlier! He’s fucking incredible at what he does and is more the capable of running this company regardless if he’s balls deep inside my cunt!”

Harry placed a kiss at the back of her head which did calm her down some. It reminded her that he was here for her and that nothing this woman could say would change how he felt. Y/N was still defensive, knowing she wanted him back and knowing Harry did have a history with her. She’d be devastated if he did leave her to get back with Caroline.

“I’m not leaving her, or using her for a promotion. I don’t know what’s going through your head right now but it obviously isn’t what is needed.” He muttered, kissing the back of Y/N’s head again. Hoping to keep her calm. “She’s what I want. We broke up. You’ve heard more than enough.” He raised a brow, bringing up that phone call again where she had heard her fucking Harry. “And what a wonderful cunt it is.” He snickered against her hair, but he knew Caroline could hear it when she growled out angrily. 

“This isn’t fucking over! You’ll come back. You will.” Caroline turned from Harry to Y/N, giving her a glare. “Trust me. He’s boring as it is, but he’s mine. Understand that? Leave it be. Go marry a fucking governor or some shit and leave him to me. I’m not giving up.” She seethed before stomping out of the office.

“What the fuck?” Harry asked, leaning against his desk as he tried to catch up on what the fuck just happened. Y/N was angry. He felt that, so he held her hand and pulled her closer to him, bringing her into a hug. “S’okay. Relax. I don’t know what the duck that was about... but we’ll make sure she doesn’t get back up here.”

“I’m going to kill her.” 

Y/N was angry for multiple reasons. One being she stepped into this office without being allowed to, second, she disrespected her, third, she disrespected Harry, and on top of all that, she said he was hers. Absolutely the fuck not. Y/N wrapped her arms around Harry and rested her head on his chest, hands pressed flat against his back. 

“The fucking nerve... I’ll end her.” She might not physically kill her, but she would definitely ruin her life. If she kept acting up Y/N could make her disappear. “How dare she say that about you?” She asked, lifting her head so she was looking up at him. “How dare she...” Y/N mumbled and cupped his cheeks. “You are not boring at all. And I meant what I said... you’re more than capable of ruining the company now if need be.”

“I know. I know that she’s angry and saying stupid things. Don’t play into her. As sexy as it is to see you angry... it isn’t worth any pain.” He explained. He understood that Caroline had riled her up, but she didn’t mean anything to him. “She means nothing to me. Nothing. Not the dirt on my shoe. How could she when I have the sexiest and most brilliant woman?” He smoothed his hands down her sides, stopping at her hips. “Already all sorts of better. Especially where it all counts.” In bed and in the heart. “Seeing you come to my defense is incredibly sexy, don't get me wrong, baby. I just think it isn’t worth the time getting angry. You’re mine, yeah? M’yours? Nothing else matters besides us.” He wanted to be chill and relax.

Y/N knew she shouldn’t play into it, realistically she knew that, but there was a bunch of insecurity that Y/N felt about the situation. She knew Caroline wasn’t right, but it wasn’t like Y/N wasn’t already trying to be as ‘normal’ as she could whenever she could be. She was scared of pushing Harry too far with all her expensive tastes, knowing that once they got back from Paris they sort of just hung out at his and ate take out and honestly... it was amazing. Y/N was happy doing that if it meant she got Harry. It was the first time in her life where material things didn’t matter as shallow as that sounds. 

Did he ever think about what it would be like if he wasn’t dating her? How could he be so quick to say Caroline meant nothing when he dated her for a while and was so reluctant to give into her? Maybe it was just her insecurities talking. 

“Yeah... you’re right... ‘s not worth it.” She mumbled softly, having zoned out a little bit. Y/N would be okay, they’d be okay. It just wasn’t something Y/N wanted to think about this morning. “I’m going to go sort the security out... put her on a list or something, I’ll let you get back to work.” She spoke gently, giving him a small smile before she left the office.

Y/N had let a bit of her anger out at the security guy downstairs for not following orders. She didn’t fire him, knowing he was a nice man who had a family, but she certainly scolded the fuck out of him and the lady at reception that both knew she wasn’t allowed up here. Y/N hated that she couldn’t exactly say Harry was her boyfriend yet either. Another kick to the stomach when she was already feeling down. 

There was a little tiny voice that crept in then. Was Caroline right? Was there a reason that she came back or felt like she needed to come back? Harry has been so adamant about not telling anyone about them being together but was also weary about getting together in the first place. Y/N knew it was stupid, she shouldn’t think that way, she trusted Harry. She swore she was in love with him. But she was still insecure, felt like maybe he was ashamed of her or something. 

She tried to pick herself up before lunch, not wanting him to think there was anything wrong because it wasn’t at all his fault that she was feeling anxious. She was taught to stay quiet about these things, her previous boyfriends hated when she got this way and refused to listen. She didn’t want him to yell or get upset at her for thinking something so stupid. 

When she noticed he was a few minutes late she got a bit nervous and for a second she let that voice slip through and thought maybe he forgot. It startled her a little when he sat down, noticing the soft smile on his face. A wave of relief hit her at that and she returned the smile after a beat, saying a small ‘hi’ and ‘it’s okay’ 

“Sorry I’m a minute late. A bit of traffic downtown with an accident.” He murmured, settling down. “Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong, babe?” He asked, sewing right through her little smile. “Cause I know you’re upset or thinking about something and I don’t like thinkin’ about you like that. Was worried since you left the office.”

Y/N’s body froze a little when he asked her about what was wrong, knowing full well she wasn’t slick and Harry would see right through it. He always did. She remembered even when they were in Paris he could tell whenever even something small was off about her. 

“I’m okay, I’m just thinking too much...” Y/N didn’t want to have a breakdown in public.

“Yeah?” He reached out and took her hand in his own, squeezing it gently. “If y’want to talk about it we can. Or you can wait and tell me tonight. But you can talk to me.” He didn’t want to push her too hard or too fast because he knew opening up wasn’t an easy feat. But he also wanted her to know that he was there. He wasn’t upset or angry and could see she was upset. “What’s good here?” He loved on because he was going to let her tell him when she was ready. However he wouldn’t let it go. He could give her time but he wanted to know what bothered her. He knew that in relationships, if you didn’t talk shit out it would blow up in your face. Y/N looked saddened when he had taken his hand back so he placed it back on the table so she could hold it. Her smile returned slightly and he felt the warm small hand back in his own as he looked at the menu.

“Can we talk about it later?” She hated how small her voice sounded. Y/N was a sensitive little thing, especially if someone was able to press the right buttons. It was one of her weaknesses, but thankfully she didn’t have many. “They have really good sandwiches... I also really like their poke bowls.” Y/N spoke and decided she would get one of those. It was essentially like eating sushi in a bowl format. She was happy he returned his hand to the table for her to hold, especially because she was feeling a little fragile. She would get better as lunch went on but she just needed to get her mind off of everything. “I told daddy I wasn’t going back to work after lunch, but I’m going to go home and relax a bit... you take your time though, yeah? I gotta go grocery shopping and stuff.” Y/N didn’t want to ruin the surprise.

“Oh, that’s alright. I’ve got some things to finish and I want to get things done. After that I’ll get my things and head over.” He was still concerned about what Y/N was upset over however he knew he only had so much power and he wanted her to trust him and come to him when she was ready. 

Harry ended up with a sandwich and they had a light conversation over lunch about kittens and her place, it was rather nice. Calm. Relaxed. He was happy to be able to do that. All he wanted to do was give her a reason to smile today. He knew that he was often a bit stoic and kept to himself about it but he was hopeful that tonight would be less tense. He kissed her mouth and nose goodbye before leaving, promising her he would be at hers by 7. He wanted to shower first even though it was probably they’d get dirty again, and he needed to get Oliver’s little carrier. He would be excited to see his Y/N.

Y/N had asked her driver to take her to the nearest Whole Foods so she could get the stuff for dinner. She had a list on her phone of stuff she needed to get for the recipe and bought everything she needed. Just in case it turned out crap, she bought a frozen pizza and some ice cream for dessert so that they still had something to eat. Sure it was all still floating around in her head but she was feeling much better now. She knew she just had to talk to Harry about it when he came over and that would clear things up both for him and for her. She would be safe to cry in her own home and he wouldn’t judge her. He never did. 

----

To Y/N’s surprise, the meal turned out pretty good. It smelled amazing and looked delicious, she just needed to keep everything on the heat so that it was warm when Harry got here. She had changed into some comfortable clothes, hoping he would do the same and went to go fill Oliver’s bowl with some food and water.

Harry had changed out of his work clothes and carefully packaged up his bag. It was the weekend so he didn’t have to worry about a suit, but he didn’t know of her plans so he put in a good outfit as well as his normal clothes. Oliver knew something was going on and mewed the whole time, happily getting into his carrier. Harry stopped and got flowers for her on the way, bringing them up to her penthouse. His name was apparently on the list of who to let up and he was buzzed in, given the floor number and sent on his way. This building was fancy as fuck. And big. He was a bit surprised, though he shouldn’t be, turning about and seeing only two doors. Y/N and someone else’s.

Y/N was nervous. She wasn’t sure why, but she was. You’d think inviting your boyfriend to your house wasn’t something you’d be worried about, but Y/N just wanted everything to go well. She didn’t exactly have the best day and hopefully this dinner and a nice chat with him afterwards would make her feel better. Maybe this could alleviate some of her worry. When he arrived at the door Y/N smiled to herself walking over to open it up and instantly feeling a bit of relief. Just knowing he was going to be here for a little while already made her feel better. They were safe and protected. It felt good. 

“Oh— these are for me?” Y/N was surprised, looking at him with the softest and most gentle gaze. He really went out of his way to get her flowers. It meant more than he would know. It wasn’t like he got a florist to make her a bouquet, he personally picked one to bring to her. “Thank you, baby.” Y/N cooed and went in to give him a hug and a kiss, beckoning him inside. “I um... I made dinner.” She said with a blush. Those were words he had never heard before.

“You did?” He was happy. Y/N making him dinner meant way more than anything else would. The fact she had put time and effort into it made his heart all happy and soft. Truly, it was something that had his stomach warm and happy. “That’s so amazing, sweetheart.” He said happily, placing the carrier Oliver was in down so he could open it up. Immediately the kitten mewed and went for Y/N, pawing at her leg until she picked him up. He knew they were both gone for her. 

Y/N nodded her head proudly, letting out a little giggle when he paid her the compliment. It meant so much to her too, to see him appreciate the work and effort she put in. She didn’t do this for anyone. Only him. He was the most important thing in her life and Oliver of course. She giggled when pawed at her leg and picked him up with her free hand that wasn’t holding the flowers. 

“Hi buddy! How are you? My sweet angel?” She asked and kissed his head, “you excited to be at my house? I got lots of stuff for you to check out! Lots of places to explore.” Y/N cooed and led the pair into the kitchen. She set Oliver down for the moment on the floor so she could put the flowers in a vase with water before looking back over at Harry. 

“Your place.. wow.” It was huge. Very big and kind of.. empty. But beautiful. It was modern style and it was nice. Definitely a lot less vintage and honey than he would prefer however, he was happy right now. Just being with her at home. “Smells really good, baby. I’m so hungry.”

“Do you like it?” She asked shyly, wondering how he felt about her place. “I—I know it’s really empty and stuff but, I don’t really know how to make it feel more occupied when I’m the only one here...” Y/N explained, hating how it wasn’t nearly lived in enough. Maybe if he came over more it wouldn’t feel as weird. “It’s chicken parm and penne pasta. It’s almost done! The chicken is done just have to finish tossing the pasta in the sauce and then we can sit down and eat.” Y/N was excited. It tasted good, she made sure she tried it before so that she knew she wasn’t serving shit to her boyfriend.

“Wow... that’s amazing, baby. Made it just for me?” He was ecstatic. She had asked him early to make his favorite? He felt himself melt and brought her into his arms, kissing over her forehead a few times before he moved her out of the way to help get some glasses. “I like it. It’s very roomy and has a ton of potential. I would be a bit lonely with so much space, but I think for multiple people it would be a dream.” If he had a place like this, he would add lots of warm things. Plants and his record player, a comfy rug and couch, art. Stuff to make it at home. “What would you like to drink?” He asked, opening her fridge. She had some juice, sparkling water, wine coolers. It made him laugh a little at the last one. And he saw a pack of beers, she no doubt got for him.

“Just for you... you’re my favorite...” She blushed as she watched him get some glasses. She went to go put the pasta in the sauce and looked over at him, “um... wine? There should be a few bottles in there. You choose..” Y/N was definitely not short of options. Her fridge was massive though, definitely fit for a family but it was just her for now. So she used it for drinks. 

Y/N hoped that maybe one day, the two of them could live here together. Have their own family with kids and kittens and just everything that she ever dreamed of. “I do get a bit lonely, ‘s why I’m always at yours... but you’re welcome to come stay here whenever you want! Both of you, you’re always welcome.” 

It tickled Harry more than it should have when she confirmed he was her favorite. It felt good to know that he was. She was his favorite too. 

“Lonely? You can always come to mine. Or we can come to yours. I always figured you wanted to keep this place private, so I never really bothered you about it.” He explained, but now that he knew? He would be likely to come over often? If that’s what she would like. He chose some white wine which would go well with the chicken, placing the glasses down at the sleek looking dining table. It was then that he leaned against the kitchen island and raised a brow at her. Her little apron was adorable and he wanted to squish her so badly. Also see her in nothing but that. “I gotta say... m’sad.” He sighed. “I didn’t get a proper kiss from you.”

Y/N had finished plating everything, covering the left overs with lids before walking them over to the table. She looked up at him when he said that he was sad, tilting her head to the side with a frown. 

“Oh! I’m sorry baby, I just got really excited and I didn’t want the food to burn!” She pouted and ran over to him to wrap her arms around him again so they could have a proper kiss. She leaned forward and attached their lips, giving him a sweet and solid kiss. Y/N couldn’t quite explain it, but she was putting all her love into this kiss and it wasn’t meant to be intense. It was just meant to show him how much she cared. How much she well... loved him.

Harry was a little shocked by the kiss. There was... something behind it. It felt warm. His hands holding her waist tightened and he hummed happily into it, head leaned down to take her mouth the way she wanted it to be taken. He pulled back with a smile, cupping her cheeks before pecking her mouth a few more times. “There’s my girl. That’s what m’talkin’ about.” He loved those kisses. Was truly starting to fall for her too. “I missed you.” He said again. Last night had felt weird alone. It had only been about 4 total nights he had been alone and they were starting to feel more and more odd. He liked being around her and didn’t want that to stop or end any time soon. Ever.

Y/N smiled back at him and moved to nuzzle her face into his neck for a hug. Sometimes you just needed a hug and his little ‘I missed you’ only made her squeeze him a bit tighter. 

“Missed you too.” She mumbled against his skin and pulled away again to look at him. “Let’s eat, yeah? Don’t want it to get cold.” She herself was surprised at how good the meal was. Maybe she was trying extra hard because she knew Harry was going to eat it, but regardless it turned out great. It redeemed her hope in being the girlfriend Harry deserved. She didn’t just want to be some prissy rich girl, though she could never stop being the prissy rich girl. 

Oliver has found his things which made her happy, he seemed to really like the little cat tree she got for him, as well as the Gucci cat toy. What? Oliver deserves some nice things too.

“You did not get him a fucking gucci cat toy?” Harry scoffed, a laugh erupting from him as he watched the kitty carry it over and plop down next to the table with it. Y/N merely shrugged. “Christ. You’re somethin’ else. You know that?” His smile was enough to prove he wasn’t angry but amused. Y/N was a giver and he knew that but a cat toy? Like that? Probably at the least $100? It was amusing. 

“What?” Y/N shrugged, looking over at Oliver and smiling at how he seemed to like it. “He’s got expensive taste. He’s lucky he’s got a mommy like me, hmm?” She spoke down to Oliver and realized she had taken claim in the cat. She looked up at him with a questioning look, as if to ask if it was okay. Y/N also knew he would bring up what happened earlier after dinner. She wasn’t really ready to talk about it, but she had to let him know what was going on in her mind. Only he could give her the real clarity that she needed anyway

Harry didn’t mind. She basically was his mommy anyways. She cared for him and bought him things, gave her all the loving she could and was sweet to him. What else could a cat want. Plus... he kind of liked that idea. It was a little scary— don’t get him wrong. But, he didn’t want her to go away. Ever. 

The whole dinner was amazing. However, he was still worried about the girl and what had upset her beforehand. He was hoping Caroline hadn't gotten under her skin but he had a feeling that perhaps it was, and that made him annoyed. Not at her— but the fact that she had been so stupid to come to his office after he blocked her number and obviously had moved on? The food had been really good, especially because he knew she didn’t cook much at all. He had done it for him and it meant a lot to him. 

“Thank you. It means a lot that you’d cook for me.” Harry smiled, bringing his plate towards the sink so he could rinse it off.

“You’re very welcome... I’d do just about anything for you, you know?” Y/N spoke sweetly, coming up behind him and kissing his back before allowing him to rinse off her plate as well. Y/N took this time to put all the leftovers into Tupperware, deciding that they could eat it again for lunch tomorrow and then maybe get some take away for dinner. 

When Y/N finished she helped him dry off the clean dishes and put them away, pressing a kiss to his cheek as a thank you before she took his hand and led him upstairs to her bed room. Oliver would follow them if he wanted, she also had stuff for him upstairs. The view from her bedroom was incredible, much like his office, the entirety of the wall was glass and it looked beautifully over the city. The night sky was clear and everything just seemed to be perfect in this moment. Y/N walked over to her closet and set his bag down in there, already having made a little section for him to have if he wanted. She came out dressed in just one of his tee shirts and climbed into bed, letting him take his time with the view.

Harry has caught her crawling into bed, his eyes following her body. God, he adored this woman. So much. She was incredible and sweet and he was feeling all sorts of wound up but he knew he needed to get what was in her mind, out. He stripped down to his briefs, like he always did and crawled into bed next to her. She immediately found purchase curled up against him when he decided to bring it up while he played with her hair. 

“Can you tell me what’s bothering you?” It was a simple request. Really, it was just because he cared, but he needed to establish good communication with her because he was hoping that they could take this long term. He had no plans of leaving and wanted to work on them, fully. Get to know her the best he could and date her until the time was right. Most people would be scared but Harry likes to feel things out. So far, it all felt very good. Once he had given in.

Y/N was tracing over his tattoos when he asked her about earlier. Honestly, she didn’t know how to fully explain to him what was going on, but she owed him an explanation of sorts. He was only asking because he cared and he wanted to know. He wasn’t going to make fun of her or anything. She just had to get past that in her mind. 

“I... I know that what she said wasn’t true, I know that.” Y/N prefaced, “it did strike a chord with me though, because... it was already something I was sort of battling already in my mind... like, the idea that maybe I’m not ‘normal’ enough for you.” Y/N knew how it sounded, but to her it was a genuine concern.  “Afraid that— that since those slimy businessmen that I dated before thought I was too much to handle that you definitely would think I’m too much to handle.” Y/N tried to keep herself as calm as possible but it wasn’t really working. “A—and it’s my biggest fear that  someday you’ll be fed up with me like they were and that you won’t want to deal with me anymore.” Y/N hid her face farther into him, her arm around his waist gripping him tighter as if he was going to get up and leave. “Just... Scary cause I don’t know... what if she was right? What if you do get tired of me? I—I wouldn’t know what to do.” Tears started to escape her eyes. “It’s— it’s why I try so hard to, to try and be more normal and stuff, don’t want to just be your prissy rich girl girlfriend... want you to be proud to call me your girlfriend, don’t want you to be ashamed or want to keep me a secret..”

“Oh... baby, no.” Harry felt a crack in his heart. He hated that she felt that way. While he found understanding that she could feel that way... he knew that she would be thinking all sorts of stuff. “First of all... you’re very different to girls I have dated. But I think that it’s wonderful.” He began to explain, trying to brush tears away. “Baby... fuck, please don’t cry. S’okay. M’not going anywhere.” He tried to soothe for a moment before continuing. “I don’t think that anyone else would be as perfect to date as tou. Not only are you understanding of my work and the environment, but I know you wouldn’t be using me for money.” He joked, letting her nuzzle her face into the palm of his hand. “You are a light. Yeah? A pretty light that keeps me lookin’ up. How could I ever get tired of you? The fact of the matter is, she was projecting. She knew I was tired of her. And the reason for that being— she didn’t communicate with me, she wouldn’t do the things I’d like or take the time to truly know who I was or what I like. And then you....” he raised a brow. “You spoil me rotten even though I don’t ask. I barely have to ask for anything but kisses because you just naturally know.” He explained smoothly. 

“You get anxious and needy a little bit, that isn’t at all a problem with me. In fact, I like that you like being close to me. I’m not at all ashamed of you. At all.” He needed to stress that point. “I keep us out of the office because I don’t need people harassing me or you about it and the promotion. What I was thinking, was  once I’m there? I don’t care. But... if it really really hurts you? I don’t mind... if it’s something that pains you. I can let people know.”

Y/N listened closely, taking in deep shaky breaths. Her bottom lip was still trembly, mostly because the second she got going she couldn’t really stop, but she was trying for him. Y/N swallowed thickly and pressed a soft kiss to the palm of his hand before nuzzling against it. She let out a sad little giggle at his comment, sniffling and nodding along because she didn’t quite trust her voice just yet. Y/N knew he wouldn’t be angry or upset with her, but the reassurance was definitely something she needed a lot of. She had a lot of trauma and she needed that support. The fact that he was even willing to change something that was important to him just for her made her heart swell up, clearing her throat before she spoke. 

“Don’t wanna hide...” Y/N frowned as she looked up at him, “know people aren’t going to like it... but they won’t like it either way.”

“Alright. If that helps you, baby. I didn’t know it hurt you so badly.” He murmured, stroking her hair. He was curious to see how people would react but he cared more about Y/N than he did about anyone else. She was wiggling her way deep into his heart and under his skin. “You’re right. I’ve been holding off for a long while. I think it’s because I’ve been worried how people will perceive the promotion and think I’m climbing the ladder hut... you told me that the promotion was already mine to begin with.” He had trust in her and didn’t think she was making it up. “I’ll let you show me off then.” Harry figured, fuck it all. “But I wanted to let you know that, I don’t plan on ever leaving or getting bored. Okay? Trust me. It’s alright. I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t want to.” Y/N didn’t know just how much Harry genuinely liked her. “I wanted to for a long time. Even before I gave in, obviously. But I’m happy that now, we can keep it going.” He wanted her to continue loving on him. Maybe now he wouldn’t have to close the office door if she came in. 

“Next time please tell me if you feel that way. Don’t sit on it and make yourself feel awful all day.” He muttered. “I don’t like that.” It was nice to have him just calmly talk to her about things and understand where she was coming from. These days, she never thought she would find someone that ticked all of her boxes the way he did. He didn’t care that she was a lot of work, he wanted to work on things with her. He was willing to try for her. 

“You... he hired you already knowing you’d be the one to take over, he just... he wanted to make sure I liked you.” Y/N explained with a sniffle, “cause I’m gonna have to be involved.” She didn’t want to drop it on him that her father wanted them to get married but he was a smart man, he would figure that out on his own. She was happy that he wanted her to show him off, glad that she wouldn’t have to close the door or wait for kisses or hugs. Wouldn’t have to explain why she was defending him so hard whenever someone chatted shit about him. “I’m sorry, I’m just used to doing stuff this way. No one ever wanted to listen, I just had to get over it on my own... I appreciate you more than you even know..”

“I’m sorry that you had to deal with dickheads who wouldn’t listen to you. That’s what’s truly fucked up. I don’t understand why they’d have a woman like you and still manage to be a dick.” He huffed, rolling his eyes. Y/N deserves better. He was better. So they both won. “There’s gonna be none of that shit with me, babe. Alright? If you’re upset, you tell me. Angry? Tell me. We can progress if we don’t talk about what bothers us and what doesn’t.” He murmured, rubbing her cheek before he kissed the wet spots where her tears were. He wanted to take them all away. “We’ve got this. I think the both of us are going to be fine. It’ll be a bit of an adjustment for you, but I think one of my most important things is to be truthful.” He didn’t like the idea of anything but. Lying wasn’t something he would tolerate.

Y/N closed her eyes as he leaned forward to kiss her cheeks, humming a little in his hold. She cared about him so damn much and he treated her so well. Y/N wasn’t sure what she did to be so lucky but she was going to try her hardest to keep him for as long as she could. Forever. They would make it, they would keep the communication open and be truthful. They would talk it out and work on things. Y/N was positive that she wouldn’t be able to find anyone better than him, not that she wanted to find anyone else. She swore she... 

“I love you..” She mumbled softly, opening her eyes again to look up at him. Y/N was nervous, but she meant it. She meant to tell him that and wouldn’t take it back. Even if he didn’t feel the same right now, she definitely was falling for him at a hard and fast pace.

Harry froze for a moment, tilting his head as he looked at her. It was a surprise, for sure. But he trained his face, thumbing over her cheek one as he took her in. 

“Yeah?” He smiled, obviously not a bit upset at the confession. He had to think over his feelings a bit later. Because he was nervous if he admitted it so soon, and he didn’t mean it. He felt like he was getting there. Falling for sure. But not at the point he could say it. He leaned forward and kissed her, soft and sweet as appreciation. “M’fallin.” He could return the words back but she wasn’t alone in the feelings. He felt a lot for her and wanted to make sure she knew that it was getting there and there was nothing to be embarrassed of.

“Yeah.” She smiled back, biting her lip for a moment before he leaned in and kissed her. It was a nice feeling, warm and comforting. Y/N knew what she was feeling, but wasn’t exactly ready to say it back. That was fine, she just needed to get it off her chest because she really did love him. She’d never cared for someone like she cared for him and Oliver. She felt like they were her own little family, little paradise where anything could happen. Hearing him say he was falling just made everything feel better. Whenever he was ready, he could tell her felt the same. For now, they’d just continue on with their night. 

“I feel better now...” Y/N mumbled as she pulled away from the kiss gently, “thank you, angel...” She hummed and returned her lips to his, finding a comfortable position for the two of them to just lay there and love up on each other.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

[part 5]

A/N: please let us know if you’d like to see more from them! - n + d

masterlist

[clanoffetts]

someday. | paz vizsla x fem!reader

chapter iv

masterlist

synopsis: Paz Vizsla finds himself stuck on Dantooine with a broken ship and no credits. Luckily, he finds you, a mechanic that will fix his ship for passage to Hosnian Prime. Over the course of your time together, a courtship blooms.

warnings/things to note: star wars swear words; reader has hints of PTSD that show up in this chapter, mentions of night terrors/nightmares and some alluding to depression; blatant lack of knowledge of ship mechanics; altering the canon timeline a little (my blog, my canon)

word count: 5.7k

note: i ended up moving a lot of Han and Leia stuff to the next chapter, so this one is a little shorter than I originally anticipated. still, I hope you enjoy!

Travels in hyperspace got very boring very quickly. The view out the windows was the same blue light, and there was no turning or swerving or other ships passing to break up the monotony. Sure, cuddling and holodramas were nice for a while but two days in, you were restless with boredom. 

Paz, of course, was not restless. Occasionally he’d do some push-ups or pull-ups but you knew it was not the result of boredom. 

“Kebiin’ika?” he asks, sitting down in the cockpit with you. 

“Hmm?” You tear your eyes away from a book on your datapad to look at him. 

“Wanna learn how to use one of these?” He pulls his vibroblade from his belt and holds it up. It looks very different from the one he gave you, there are no intricate markings on the one he holds.

“I think I’m going to be a slow learner,” you warn.

He laughs. “I’m patient.”

“I know,” you nod, remembering how he could just sit for a long time. “Alright. When am I learning?”

He gestures his arms out. “Right now. We can move the table and the couch.”

You agree, anxious to finally have something to do. You help him with the anchors on the round table and the booth-like seat around it, moving them up towards the cockpit. Paz carries the seat with ease, leaving you behind to grunt with the heavy metal table until he finally returns to help you, sliding it across the floor with one arm.

“Show off,” you huff, but he just chuckles. 

“Go get your blade, mesh’la,” he commands. You turn and walk back towards your room, retrieving the blade from your bag where it was carefully wrapped in some fabric. You study it as you slowly walk back to the common area, taking note of the differences between yours and the one Paz had pulled from his belt earlier. The blade that was now yours had a beautiful handle made of some sort of dark stone, embellished with gold metal. The blade had intricate carvings on it as well, one you recognized from Paz’s armor as well as many you didn’t recognize. It seemed important, almost like an heirloom, why’d he give it to you?

You return back to the common area and find him just standing there, waiting. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” you reply. 

He’s holding a wooden blade in his hand now, it’s dull and chipped in some places. “Don’t want to hurt you,” he explains. “You don’t have a body of beskar.” 

“Right. But I don't want to hurt you either,” you say, though you didn’t think you could hurt him if he tried. 

He knocks his knuckles on the chestplate. “Mesh’la, beskar is one of the strongest metals there is. Resistant even to the weapon of the Jedi.” 

You were a little shocked, first at the mention of Jedi, and then that beskar could hold strong against the swords you’d heard of the Jedi carrying. You’d seen Luke Skywalker’s on his belt, but never seen it ignited. You knew Leia trained with him often and now had one of her own, but you never asked to see it. “Oh,” you say. “Then I guess I don’t have to worry about you.”

“Right,” he agreed. “Now, what do you know about fighting?”

You recalled your very brief ‘lessons’ back on the rebel base. “Shoot the guys in white.” He looked a little confused. “The stormtroopers,” you explain.

“Yeah, I picked up on that part,” he says. “That’s all they taught you?”

You nodded. “I was a mechanic, love, not a soldier.”

“Alright. Well, maybe that’s best,” he says. “No bad habits to unlearn.” You agreed with a nod. “Ok, first thing is your stance.” 

He begins moving your body around, your arms and hips and feet, positioning you for the form he thought would be best for someone your size. He was murmuring things to himself but you had no clue what they meant. You also had no clue how you were supposed to get into this exact stance in the middle of a fight, but you let him do it anyway. 

“And then you’d take the blade and jab me here,” he says, gesturing to his stomach. “Won’t work on a man in beskar, but most people won’t have beskar. Or any armor, for that matter.” 

He continued showing you moves, small self defense ways to get out of bad situations. He made you run sequences with him, but they made you feel a little useless. Yeah, if he let you win you wouldn’t learn, but, Maker, a win was needed right about now. It’d been three hours, you were sweaty and defeated.

“I have a man in beskar,” you say, defeated yet again, laying on the floor. “So do I really need to be proficient with a blade? I’m obviously not doing well.”

He cocks his head at you, sitting down against the wall next to you. “Kebiin’ika, I won’t always be there. Besides, you are doing well.”

“I’m doing awful, Paz, don’t lie. I haven’t even gotten close to winning.” 

“Because I’m a Mandalorian, mesh’la,” he tells you. “I’ve been training with a blade since I could hold one. You’ve been training with one for three hours, and I promise that you’re doing great.”

You hum out a thank you and then sit in silence for a moment. Your eyes wander back down to the blade vibrating in your hand, studying the markings. “Why’d you give me this one?” you ask. “The pretty one, I mean.”

“It was forged from some of my mother’s armor,” he says. “House Vizsla and Mandalore’s markings are on the blade. Armorer made it for me when I was fourteen, when I put my armor and helmet on for the first time.”

“Your mother’s armor?”

He nods. “They both died, my buire, when I was thirteen. Armor is passed down through families, this armor has been with us for as long as anyone can remember.” He doesn’t expand on his parents’ death, and you don’t pry. The wound still seems fresh, and you wouldn’t be surprised if that’s because he’s never had anyone to talk to. Mandos don’t seem like that type. 

“And you trust me with it?”

“Of course I do,” he says. “Weapons are a part of my religion, mesh’la. A part of who I am, especially that blade. I wasn’t just giving you a blade.” You knew it had been a show of vulnerability, but not one so great, so full of trust. 

You didn’t know what to say. What could you say? So you just leaned into him, ignoring the annoying press of his armor into your side, relieved at the coolness the metal provided. 

You’re not sure how long you sat like that, lost in thought. Paz broke the silence, “We should probably eat and rest. We’ll be in the Hosnian system in ten hours.”

It set in as you watched Paz make soup for lunch that you’ll be seeing Leia soon. You hadn’t kept up with her life in the tabloids, that’s not what she would’ve wanted nor what you wanted. You wanted to know everything, to spend days in her house on Hosnian catching up. But you didn’t want to keep Paz from his home. And yet, you didn’t want to find out what would happen when you and Paz arrived back at his tribe, how they would react to you, an outsider.

As boring as it was, if you could stay in hyperspace forever you wouldn’t need to find out. But you wouldn’t be in hyperspace forever, and you will find out, but for now you push it out of your brain and focus on Paz as he brings soup over to the recently re-anchored table. 

“Here you go, mesh’la,” he says, sitting the bowl down. “Mandalorian specialty.” 

And it was special. Full of spices, ones you would’ve never put together, and vegetables, it was hearty. You slurped it up quickly, before excusing yourself to take a shower so Paz could eat as well. 

The shower was nice after your sparring (if you could even call it that), the hot water felt great on your now sore muscles. You had a hunch that trying to move the table contributed to that just as much as the knife fighting. 

“Paz?” You called as you exited the ‘fresher, now in pajamas. You weren’t too tired, but you knew it was important to make the transition from Yavin time to Hosnian time, and once you were cozy in bed, it wouldn’t be long before the tiredness set in. 

“I’m coming!” He called back, and sure enough he appeared, holding something in his hand. “Made you this while I ate. Well, I altered it.”

He holds out a leather sheath that holds the vibroblade. It’s identical to the dark brown one that still sits on his belt, but this one has a shorter belt, and the leather fits the blade snugly. “Thank you, Paz,” your voice is breathy at the gesture. 

“If you’re gonna fight someone with it, you’ve gotta have a way to carry it,” he says. 

Before you realize it, you’re on tippy toes, placing a kiss to the cheek of his helmet. “It’s lovely, Paz, thank you.” 

He slips past you into the ‘fresher for his turn in the shower as you admire the craftsmanship. Where he shortened the belt and tapered the sheath, the stitching got uneven, but you didn’t mind. The stitches were made with care, with kindness, with love. 

As Paz stripped off his armor in the ‘fresher he felt heat rise up in his body. You’d kissed his helmet. He’d never seen anyone do that before. It was adorable and there was a small mark left on the cheek of his helmet by your lip balm. As the water heated in the shower, he stood and studied the mark of your lips. 

You were settled on the bed when Paz emerged from the ‘fresher in his sleep clothes. He always looked strange with the helmet and none of his other armor on, but it was endearing. You had the sleep mask in hand, a precaution that Paz insisted you didn’t need, but one you took anyway. “You ready to sleep, mesh’la?”

“Yeah, I think so,” you say. “C’mon.” You pat the spot on the bed next to you. The cold of hyperspace is starting to create goosebumps on your skin, and Paz Vizsla is basically a furnace. He moves wordlessly to turn off the lights, watching as you slip the mask over your eyes. The click and hiss of the helmet sounded through the room, barely audible over the hum of the ship. 

The bed dips down as he climbs in, sheets rustling as he settles himself. You lay on your side facing where he would be, but you weren’t sure how he was laying. Extending an arm, you tried to find him. 

“Need something, kebiin’ika?” He asks as your hand lands on his stomach. 

“Just looking for you,” you murmur. He gives you a little chuckle and places his hand over yours. His hand is large, and it engulfs your small one easily. “Night, Paz,” you whisper. 

“Night, mesh’la.” His voice is a low rumble in your ears, and combined with the warmth he’s brought to the bed, sleep comes easily. 

-

The chrono is cruel the next morning. You got enough sleep, sure, but it was cold when you got out of bed and stumbled into the cockpit where Paz sat. He swiveled around in his chair to look at you, still in your pajamas. “Good morning, mesh’la,” he greets. “We’ll be there in two hours. There’s some cereal in the kitchen, if you’d like it.” 

You did like it, the sugary cereal didn’t seem like something Mandalorians would keep on hand, but you were glad they did. You excused yourself back to the bedroom, going through your things and picking out jeans and a t-shirt. For a brief moment you wondered if it was nice enough to meet with Leia, but you quickly dismissed the thought. Leia didn’t expect an ornate gown, you knew that. 

You and Paz moved about the ship, preparing for the landing and preparing the ship to sit dormant in a hangar for at least a few days. Every so often, Paz’s gloved hand drifted to the side of his helmet, where your lips had pressed the night before. He watched as you folded your clothes in different ways so that they’d fit comfortably in your backpack. He watched as you bit your lip, studying the ship to make sure nothing you’d need had been left behind. The same lips that touched his helmet. The heat rose in him again, culminating in his face, making the helmet uncomfortable.

“Kebiin’ika,” Paz says to distract himself. “Where’s your vibroblade?”

“In the cockpit.” 

“C’mon,” he says, gesturing you into the cockpit behind him. “Wanna see what it looks like on you.”

You shuffled into the cockpit behind him and he threaded the belt of the sheath through the belt loops of your jeans, fastening it around your waist. He takes a step back, looking at you with your new weapon.

“Very badass,” he says and you laugh, the both of you taking your seats.

Finally, the ship jolted out of hyperspace. The stars, the planet, and all the other ships in the system were a welcome change from the monotony of hyperspace. “Ready, kebiin’ika?” 

“Born ready,” you reply, grinning at him. There’s a giddiness welling inside you, not only that you’d be seeing Leia but that you’d be in a huge city again, on a Core planet. The years spent in the Outer Rim were peaceful, but sometimes you just want to be surrounded by people.

You were cleared to land on a platform in the heart of the city, Korrie said Leia requested C-3PO be sent for you. Her way of making a joke, you figured. The workers of the hangar would take care of the ship once you’d landed, and you knew Paz was less than thrilled at handing his ship over into the hands of strangers.

“We’re guests of the princess,” you remind him before you disembark. “They won’t hurt your ship.”

“The princess doesn’t know you’ve brought a Mandalorian,” he retorts. If you could read minds you’d know he was terrified of ruining your trip to Hosnian Prime by simply being there. 

But you couldn’t read minds. Instead, you weren’t really sure why that mattered, sure you’d heard of some bad feelings towards Mandos in the Outer Rim but you couldn’t see why that would carry over into the Core. But that didn’t matter at the moment, you needed to get off the ship and into the speeder with the droid. 

You were the first to step out of the ship, the Mandalorian strangely meek behind you. Everyone in the hangar seemed to suck in a breath as the armored man stepped out behind you, all motion stopping momentarily as everyone took in the sight of a Mandalorian. It reminded you of when Paz first walked into town on Dantooine, the whole town halted for a moment.

“Miss! Miss!” A mechanical voice is calling across the hangar. 

“We’re coming, Threepio, give us a second,” you say, pushing on through the oglers towards the golden droid at the mouth of the hangar. The speeder is state of the art, blue with no top, perfect for the kind weather of Hosnian Prime. 

“I’m afraid I was only expecting one person,” C-3PO says as he ushers you two into the speeder. “Though I suppose it won’t affect anything.”

Paz looks at you, and you can only guess he’s rolling his eyes. “This is my Mandalorian friend, Threepio,” you say. “He brought me here.”

“Splendid.”

“How’s Artoo?”

The speeder pulled out of the hangar, exposing you to the breeze as you sped over the city. “Artoo is with Master Luke,” the droid began, continuing on in excruciating detail about how the astromech’s wiring is performing. 

“That’s nice, Threepio,” you say finally, cutting him off halfway through his opinion on the best replacement for R2-D2’s outdated thrusters. “I think I’d like to enjoy the scenery for now. In silence.” You heard Paz exhale in relief next to you, the Mandalorian was close to losing his practiced patience with the droid. C-3PO had that effect on some people.

“Very well then. We will be arriving at the Organa estate in fifteen minutes.” 

You looked out over what was now the less busy parts of the capital city, the further away from the new Senate building, the quieter things got. No wonder Leia liked to live so far out of the city. You found your mind drifting from the scenery to what Leia’s home may look like. Would it be in the typical, Alderaanian minimalism style? Or is she too much like you, pushing away reminders of home? But Alderaan was so much more to Leia than just home.  

The speeder stopped on the steps of a fairly small place on the far outskirts of the city. It was a sleek white on the outside, boxy in shape like most of the homes you’d seen so far on the planet. Paz drew in a breath next to you as the two of you exited the speeder, C-3PO leading the way to the door.

Once inside, you knew Leia was not, in fact, like you. It was like you’d stepped back into a home on Alderaan. The art on the walls evoked Alderaanian style, the white furniture and gray accents were the tells of an Alderaanian decorator. 

“Y/N!” Leia calls from a hallway at the back of the foyer. “And...another guest?” Leia’s hand went to her belt, you weren’t sure if she was searching for the safety of a blaster or her lightsaber, but neither was there. 

You step forward, ahead of Paz. “This is my, uh, boyfriend, Leia.” 

“Ma’am,” Paz said with a bow of his head, not sure if that was the right thing to say. 

Apparently, it wasn’t, as C-3PO stepped forward. “It is ‘Your Highness’ upon the first address of the conversation. After that it can be ma’am, princess, or senator.”

“Oh,” Paz said. “Sorry, Your Highness.” 

“No, no,” C-3PO started, but Leia cut him off. 

“Hush, Threepio, it doesn’t matter,” she says, still eyeing Paz. “Leave us, Threepio.” The droid almost seemed like he would protest, but the look in Leia’s eyes told him not to, so he shuffled out of the foyer and deeper into the house. 

Leia motioned for you to come to her, and you did, wrapping her into a hug. “I’ve missed you, you know.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” Leia said into your neck. “But why in the nine Corellian hells would you bring a bounty hunter into my home?”

You step back and look at her. “He’s not a bounty hunter-”

“Well,” Paz says from behind you. “Not right now, anyway. I only do it out of necessity for my people, ma’am.” You’re slightly taken aback, but take care not to show Leia. Not yet, anyway. It hit you that you’d never really inquired more about the work that had brought your Paz to Dantooine.

Leia looks torn. “You know what one of those Mandalorians did to Han. To me, to Luke.”

“Boba Fett?” Paz asks. He’d heard of the princess killing Jabba the Hutt. He’d known it was Fett’s work. Hell, there wasn’t anyone in the Outer Rim that didn’t know.

“You knew him?” Leia is growing hostile again and you aren’t sure what to do.

Paz shakes his head. “Fett had never even been to Mandalore. I can assure you my people are not like him.” Paz knew that was a bit of a lie, but he hated to screw up this reunion for you. “I’ll give you my weapons while I’m here, if that’s what you want.”

“No,” Leia says, her guard dropping. “I know you’re not a threat. Not to us anyway.” And then she looks at you, then back at Paz. “C’mon, I’ll show you to your room and you can put your stuff away.” 

You follow her through the house, and you aren’t sure how to feel. It feels like Alderaan, the decor, the climate, even the smell somehow, and it’s welcoming for a moment until you remember that this isn’t Alderaan, and nothing will ever be Alderaan, no matter how well curated. But you trained your eyes on Leia, her hair wrapped in braids upon her head, a comfortable white sundress fluttering about her as she walked. 

“Here you are,” she says, leading you into a brilliant room, furniture white, though some pieces tinted with blue. The bedspread is blue, the curtains are blue. All pale and deep shades, the room is calming. “Blue’s still your favorite right? Figured this would be right up your alley.”

“Yeah, blue’s still my favorite,” you smile. She’d remembered. 

“I figured as much. Considering you chose a mountain of blue to be your boyfriend,” she quips, and you roll your eyes. Paz felt his face get hot under the helmet again. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, he repeated in his head. “Oh, will you be needing a room, too?”

“No, ma’am, I don’t think so,” Paz tells her. “Unless kebiin’ika would like me too.”

You shook your head. “He’s with me,” you say as you toss your backpack onto the bed. “Paz, I’d bet you’d like some time without your helmet. Maybe Leia and I can go somewhere else to catch up?” Paz got the hint like you knew he would, and he nodded. 

“Great,” Leia smiled, taking your hand and pulling you out of the room. “Through here,” she says, walking through what you assumed was the master bedroom into a study. 

The study was cozy, full of actual paper books, and warm colored furniture as opposed to the stark white of the rest of the house. Han’s doing, you assumed. “Your home is gorgeous, Leia,” you tell her as you sit in one of the large chairs. 

Leia drapes herself on one of the couches and her dress settles around her stomach, where her hands clasp atop it. She sees you staring at her belly and smiles. “I’m pregnant,” she says. 

“Congratulations!” You exclaim, and she thanks you. “I swear that wasn’t there when I commed you a few days ago, though.”

She giggles. “My clothes are good at deception.”

“Taking notes from Amidala, I see,” you joke, and she laughs. 

“I did actually ask for Rabé’s help. She was my Amidala’s wardrobe mistress,” Leia says. “But enough about me for now. Since when do you date Mandalorian bounty hunters? And why does he call you kebiin’ika? You don’t have a bounty on you-”

You laugh, cutting her off. “It’s a nickname, Leia, I promise I don’t have a bounty on my head. And, well, it’s a long story,” you say. 

You’re not sure how long you sat there, telling Leia of your time on Dantooine, all the way up until the day that Paz came into town, and when you’d landed on Yavin, and when he’d given you the blade. 

“You’re kidding! He gave you a vibroblade? Where is it?” 

You pat your hip, and unsheath the blade. You move to sit next to Leia on the sofa, holding it out for her to see. “These markings on this part of the blade are his house markings,” you say, “And these are just Mandalorian, I think.”

“So, is it like an engagement ring?”

You shook your head. “No, no, I don’t think so. But from what I gather...Mandalorian courtships usually mean marriage.”

“You’re ready for that? You’ve known him, what? A week?”

You sighed. “No, I’m not ready. But I think I could be. Someday.”

“I hope so,” she says. “He makes you happy. A lot happier than the last time I saw you.”

“Leia...I just, I don’t think I can be involved anymore,” you say, the winds of the Naboo lake country gently whipping through your hair. “Now that we’re not fighting all the time, I’m thinking a lot more. About Alderaan, about everyone we’ve lost.”

Her hand was soft on your back. “I know it’s hard,” she said. “But if you take this position in the New Republic you can help so many people. And you can build a house that feels like home. Like Alderaan, just like Sabé made her home like Naboo.”

“I can’t Leia. I can’t make a fake Alderaan and pretend it’s ok. I won’t,” you say. “I have dreams of Alderaan that break me. Dreams of Yavin that break me. Dreams of kriffing Endor that break me. You’re asking me to break myself again for a kriffing committee.” 

Leia’s cheek landed on your shoulder. The tears fell from your face now, and by the feeling of her cheek, she was crying, too. “No,” she whispers. “You can’t break. I need you, a lot of people do.”

“They’re going to have to learn to live without me for a while, I think.”

 “But, whenever you’re ready, you’ll come find me, right?”

“It’s going to be a long time, Leia.”

“But you’ll still come find me. I don’t care if it’s four weeks or forty years, you could show up at my doorstep and I’ll hug you like I always have.”

“Yeah,” you said. “I am a lot happier. I worked through some things. Some things can’t be worked through, though.”

“Alderaan,” she murmurs, leaning into you. “I know. That’s why I love this room so much. It’s so Han, so Corellian, and so not Alderaan.”

“Didn’t take this as a smuggler’s style,” you joke. 

She laughs a little, too. “He doesn’t have a style. I think this is Lando’s doing, Han just put his name on it.”

The room did seem to have Lando’s taste written all over it, though you could guess Lando would rather not have Corellian furniture in his house. Your eyes drifted back to Leia, her hand absent-mindedly stroking her stomach. “When’s the little one due?”

“Four months,” she said. “It’s a boy.”

“A boy with a name?”

“I’m thinking ‘Ben’,” she says. “After Ben Kenobi. Han was thinking ‘Bail’, but I don’t know. I like ‘Ben’.” 

You smiled. “That’s a nice name,” you say. “Besides, a Skywalker needs a Jedi name.”

“Right,” she agrees.

She sits up to face you now. “Will you train him?”

“No,” she says. “I’ll let Luke do that, when he’s ready. And when little Ben is ready. It was never my destiny to become a true Jedi. That was always Luke.”

You smile at her. “You know Mandalorian armor is invincible against a lightsaber?”

“Beskar,” she says. “Yes. It’s very strong. I saw a staff made of beskar once, back on Alderaan when I was little. In a museum, I think.” 

“That’s what Mando wears,” you catch yourself before you say his name, replacing it with the one-size-fits-all nickname. 

She laughs. “Mando isn’t his name right? That’d be awfully unoriginal.”

“No,” you reply. “But Mandalorian religion, it’s...it’s interesting territory. I know his name, though.”

“What’s he look like?” She asks with girlish intrigue, the gossipy voice usually reserved for teenagers poking through.

“I don’t know. And even if I did, I couldn’t tell you.”

Her brow furrows. “You’ve basically agreed to marry him and you don’t know what he looks like?” 

“Ok, first, I agreed to court him.”

“Same difference,” Leia interjects.

You roll your eyes playfully. “And, second, it’s against his creed to remove his helmet unless we’re married.” 

“Oh, maker, I can’t believe you’re going to marry someone for just a kiss, not even dic-”

“Leia!” You cut her off. “Your son can hear you, you know. Through the Force or whatever.”

She lightly hits your arm. “Not how the Force works, dear. And you know I’m right.”

“You aren’t right, your highness,” the nickname annoys her to no end, and that’s exactly why you employed it. “He’s sweet to me, Leia. He even taught me how to fight with this thing yesterday.” You pat the vibroblade on your hip.

“Mandalorians must be patient. I remember when you tried to learn to shoot a blaster,” she smiled with nostalgia at the ‘lessons’ from Yavin IV. The marksmen gave up quickly on teaching the mechanics how to fight.

“Ok, I wasn’t that bad,” you tell her. “And my Mando says I’m doing very well with the knife, thank you very much.”

“Oh you’re in love,” Leia said. “I can see it in your eyes. Kriff, before long you might look like me!” She gestures to her pregnant belly. “Do the Mando babies pop out with the helmet on? That might be an issue.”

You let out an embarrassingly loud laugh at the thought. “Maker, Leia, you’re getting ahead of yourself.”

“Seriously, though,” she says, putting a hand on your knee. “I’m glad you’ve found him. I think he makes you glow.”

It was well past lunch time when the two of you ventured out of the study again. You’d barely scratched the surface with Leia, but the morning’s talking had already made you tired. “Threepio, we’re hungry,” Leia said as she led you into the kitchen. “Ah, Threepio, you sure you aren’t a mind reader?” The table was set for three, some kind of elegant sandwich and soup combo awaited you. 

“Do we invite Mando? Since he can’t really eat with us?”

You nodded. “I’ll go get him, if that’s ok? Don't want him to get lonely or something.” You walked back out of the kitchen, picturing Paz sitting on the edge of the bed still as a statue. 

You knocked on the door. “Paz? It’s me. Can I come in?” It was a moment before he answered, and then you let yourself through the door. He was lounging on the floor against the bed, your datapad in hand. Not at all what you pictured. 

“Hope you don’t mind,” he says, holding up the datapad. “Wanted to catch up on that show. I’ve been a little confused.” 

You giggled a little at the thought of a big bad Mandalorian itching to watch a holodrama. “It’s alright, love. Would you want to come sit with Leia and I while we eat? I think she’d like to get to know you as much as she can.”

Paz wanted to say no. He wasn’t a social man, especially not after the tension between him and Leia from earlier, but he knew it meant something to you. So, he climbed up off the floor and followed you into the kitchen. 

“Master Mandalorian,” C-3PO greeted as Paz walked into the dining area. “Uh, su cuy’gar. Olarom at yaim Organa-Solo.”

“I can speak Basic, droid,” Paz says as he sits down. 

“What’d he say?” You and Leia asked in unison. 

“He said ‘welcome to the Organa-Solo home’ in Mando’a,” Paz translates.

Leia turns to the droid. “Where the kriff did you learn Mando’a?”

“I am fluent in over-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Leia said, and waved him off. “I don't know how I forget that.”

You took a bite of the soup, not as good as the Mandalorian dish Paz had made, but it was delicious nonetheless. 

“Mando,” Leia says between bites. “I assume you’re from Mandalore. Do you still live there?”

Paz shakes his head. “No, ma’am.” 

Leia looks at you, and then you look at Paz, silently trying to let him know that it’s ok to open up to Leia. It was ok for you, just not for him. Not yet, anyway. 

“Do you have any siblings?”

“Used to.”

“Not much of a talker,” Leia murmurs to you. “You met my friend on a job?”

He nods. “More or less. I was coming home from one. Had to stop for supplies.”

“You have a family in your Tribe?”

Paz nods. “The Tribe is my family. All of them. We care for eachother.”

The lunch went on like this, and it was a bit tiring. Leia would ask a question, she would get an answer that did not satisfy, and then ask another. You wished Paz would open up, but you understood. Maybe, with time, he would, and Leia would approve of him. You didn’t need Leia’s approval, but you wanted it. You wanted her to like him, she was very important to you, just as he was. 

Once the bowls of soup were scraped clean and sandwiches were gone from two of the three plates, C-3PO informed Leia that she was needed at the Senate building. 

“I’ll be back soon,” she said as she tied an overdress around her. “Help yourselves to anything, alright?” She kissed you on the cheek and went out the door. 

“I’m sorry I’m not good company,” Paz says as soon as Leia leaves. “It’s not in my nature.”

You shake your head. “Nonsense. She understands, even though it may not seem like it.” 

“I am trying,” he insists. “I just can’t answer those questions.”

You take his gloved hand into yours. “I know,” you say, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. “I’ll explain more about Mandalorians to her when she gets back. And who knows? Maybe someday you’ll be an open book with her. Best friends with Princess Leia of Alderaan.”

He laughs. “Yeah, maybe,” he says, voice dripping with uncertainty.

It had been a long time until Leia returned home. You’d wandered around the living room for awhile while Paz ate his late lunch, and then the two of you sat on the couch and watched a holo. Paz felt like he was intruding, and told you so many times, but C-3PO consistently reminded the both of you to make yourselves at home.

“I have prepared a dinner for the two of you, if you would like it.”

“Thank you, Threepio,” you say from your place on the couch. Paz had shed his cuirass so you could cuddle into his chest.

He released you from his arms and said, “You go eat first, mesh’la.”

“We can eat together. Take it to the room and sit back to back,” you say. “Would that be alright, Threepio?”

“You might spill it,” Threepio says. “But I suppose it would be alright. I will bring the trays to the Blue Room.”

You nodded your thanks, Paz standing behind you. He picked his cuirass up off the floor and followed you to the bedroom.

“Where we sitting, kebiin’ika?”

“Floor might be best,” you reply.

He nodded, lowering himself onto the floor and you followed suit. C-3PO appeared with the food on trays, handing them to the two of you and shutting the door on his way out.

The familiar click and hiss met your ears and you saw the helmet hit the floor in your peripheral. The food was a pasta with some vegetables. “Looks good,” you say.

“Indeed,” Paz agrees, and you hear his fork begin to twist on the plate.

As you are, your mind returned to your conversation with Leia. Her asking if you were ready for marriage. Paz told you Mandalorian courtships were short, it was a throwaway comment and you knew that, but it still hung over you.

“Paz?”

“Hmm?”

“Are...” you stop for a moment, wondering if you should continue. You decided to. “Are we going to get married?”

You couldn’t see Paz almost choke on his food, but you heard it. Once he recovered from his coughing he said, “why are you asking, mesh’la?”

“You remember when you told me Mandalorian courtships don’t last long? And that usually Mandos who court get married...”

He sighs. “That’s what it means for a lot of Mandalorians. But you, my love, are not a Mandalorian. Our courtship means what you want it to mean.”

“But we might get married?” You weren’t sure how shaky your voice sounded to him, but you hoped it wasn’t much.

“Yeah,” he replies. “Someday, I hope.”

You smile at your plate. Both of you felt the hot flame of love consuming your bodies, rising to your faces. “Someday.”

tags! @remmysbounty @ladyjenny19 @shadowsoundeffects13

[funny-house]

huhu u got me to watch opal the other day since u keep talking abt it and im glad bc i Really Enjoyed It but !! anyways , i saw u mention mirror man doing makeup for someone and i keep thinking about it so Thoughts Incoming sorry in advance lmao. i think he would like to do claires makeup (and teach her abt it in general) when she gets a bit older,, both bc it seems like a legitimate hobby he would enjoy (i imagine if he werent Like That he probably could have been a makeup artist or something similar!) and bc he would like to ‘prettify’ her a bit.

and ah well,,, a lot of parents Like Him sometimes try 2 make their child a carbon copy of themselves or of an image they enjoy so if he grew to like claire more or already does like her enough for that (or just, wants things to revolve around him More) hed try to nudge things in that direction. and in his own way i think He might think hes doing something good, he knows when he was her age he would have killed to have a parent so eager to help him learn makeup and stuff but. claire isnt him. she probably isnt even interested in it at all but shes kinda desperate for Nice Moments and also doesnt wanna risk making him angry so she goes along with it. she always has her head in the clouds so all the things hes saying is too much at once but shes trying to comprehend it,,,,,

nd he keeps giggling at her for how awkwardly she moves her arm when putting on foundation and blush nd gets kind of annoyed with her for repeatedly flinching when he tries to help her with mascara nd teases her a bit for trying to taste the lip gloss (and keeps pointing out a flaw or two on her face “well, youve always had a sort of weird shaped face but youve always had the cutest little smile, its like Mine :)”) but they do it !! together !!! and nothing (that) bad happened !!!!!! so claire is happy,,,,,,,,,,, until that inevitably opens the gates of him trying to pick out what she wears for her and “””suggesting””” hairstyles for her and getting manipulative and even flatout Angry when she doesnt do what he wants her to (bc even when things Seem like theyre about claire they Are Not, its what He wants for her , in the end its still all about him) but, ive rambled enough to you already <:o) sorry for talking so much i just wanted to chat a bit abt opal with you !!!! hope ur doing well hehe . and im sorry this is rambly nd probably incomprehensible i just did a lot of work hkehri

ohhhhhhhh !!! FIRST  I am super glad that all my constant rambling about this man has allowed you to go watch Jack Stauber’s awesome little short, it’s really good and deserves all the support !!!

also i totally appreciate you wanting to share your thoughts with me ;u;

AND I TOTALLY AGREE  the whole idea of him projecting himself onto her, trying to take over her, I think that is so fitting for the short itself tbh, because it’s a reflection ( mirrors, hehe ) of what the mother wants from Claire as well. The thing that terrified Claire near the end is the mother reaching to hold onto her, specifically after the mom said that she was going to become just like her. The idea of her becoming her parents? it terrifies her, clearly!!

And Mirror Man, he is what they call a “archetypal narcissistic abuser”, in my eyes at least,  and it would be really really common to see someone like that not only be so controlling and self absorbed that they treat their child like a decoration to themselves, but also use that child, especially as they get old enough to have opinions on the situation, to turn them against their partner-- such as.... the mom

so picture this

Claire is like 10-12, and she’s bright and she’s got a good heart but she’s WELL and truly Affected by the years of being brought up in that ridiculously toxic hell hole-- I mean house no idea if the grandpa would live that long uhhh in his state, but even if he does, he’s still very sick, disabled, and senile and he isn’t going to be much help. and Claire, she’s starting to have Opinions,, on how things are running around here,,      but in swoops Mirror Dad

He’s like........ it’s your mother’s fault. Oh, absolutely, have you seen her? I mean look at her, she’s disgusting. she’s a drug addict, she’s a drunk, she’s ugly, she’s the reason you feel like this-- and maybe some of that is understandable, i mean she’s a real mess of a mom, no mistake, but hey

Nobody’s going to tell Claire who made her that way! Nobody’s going to tell her Mirror Dad was the one who trapped her in an unloving, possibly violent relationship, with a kid, and ripped apart every inch of her self worth !!!

Nope. she just sees the aftermath. So mirror dad...... turns claire on her. And she starts to side with him on things and she starts to even kinda talk like him maybe even....... learns how to do that dark and scary insecurity voice of his and one day She walks by the.... Reflection Chamber and Mirror Man is there in that way He Always Is in that seat he always sits in, and he says something very very odd to her!   he raises a finger and curls it in and says    come sit on my lap you haven’t gotten too big to sit on my lap have you?? come here!! and i mean Claire is still very very uncomfortable even being near him, and this feels like a trap, but i mean she can’t just say no, and there’s a part of her that’s kinda hoping... maybe he really is trying to be nice. and so she does and she sits with her but you’ll notice he is never looking directly at her. Even as she’s approaching literally right in his line of sight, he stares straight into her reflection, never her face.  It’s like she’s not even real unless she’s in those mirrors.

And he tells her he wants to do her makeup! yay! how fun! and he tells her to close her eyes and pout her lips and try not to flinch when the sculpting starts or he’ll use his deep voice-- and how he’s going to finally FIX her. Goody!! then maybe the constant barrage of insults and negs and criticisms will stop!! (p.s. they wouldn’t have )

And so she opens her eyes..... and the face of her abuser is looking right back. It’s her face. Or it used to be-- now it’s literally his and it’s hideous-- it does not AT ALL belong on that body, and the only thing left of her is her big shiny eyes

and she  S C R E A M S that way Claire does,,,

but this time, loud enough to crack the mirrors, and stun the dad just long enough for him not to catch her in his hands when she leaps off his lap and books it for the attic the attic, the view of the billboard with the same worn out, not updated ad for Opal’s in the window. She locks the door, it doesn’t take long for mirror man to come banging on it, telling her she’s ungrateful, she doesn’t deserve what little she has, taking back every nice thing he ever said, etc,,,

and Opal just starts clawing off the makeup/clay/whatever from her face in the mirror’s glass reflection, putting her hair back into the pigtails her father said made her look stupid

but she isn’t Opal, she’s changed, she’s aged, but Opal-- she’s always the same!! happy!! cared for!! and what is she supposed to be under the makeup? huh? Who is she besides the abuse she’s put through, that billboard and what it sells to her?  she doesn’t know! nobody does nobody ever bothered to get to know what it even means to be Claire.

[lollybliz]

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by  Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights.  Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm.  “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

[toomuchtv95]

My Savior Part 6

Characters: Jay Halstead x Reader, William Miller (OC),  Other One Chicago Charters

Word Count: 2.8k+

Chapter Warnings: Fluff, Swearing, Medial talk (Badly lol)

A/N: Okay, I tried to do some research on it the medical stuff so don’t judge. 

Enjoy! :)

A/N: Excuse any major grammar mistakes hopefully Grammarly caught most of them.

Series MasterList

You and Jay were definitely were in the honeymoon phase of your marriage. The two of you have been married 4 months and the two of you could barely keep your hands off your each other. Every chance you two got, you were at each other like rabbits, not that either of you were complaining. Recently Jay was sent undercover and has been gone for about a week. Jay was not able to keep in contact with you, but he promised you that Hailey would keep you updated as much as she could. Of course, you were worried about him and the possibility that something could happen to you, but this was his job.

“Hey Y/N, somebody by the name of William Miller called asking for you.” You stopped dead in your tracks when you heard Maggie say that name. You have not heard that name in 6 years. “He left a phone number.” Maggie handed you the piece of paper with the number scribbled on there.

"Thanks, Maggie." You walked into the doctor’s lounge and sat down at the table. This cannot be happening. William Miller was your father who was a drug addict, alcoholic and gambler all mixed in one. He had gotten your mother pregnant and then disappeared for a while. Then he reappeared when you were about 5 and ever since then he had been in and out of your life. He would show up out of the blue asking for money to help support his ‘needs’.

“Hey, you alright?” You looked up from the piece of paper to see Will grabbing a cup of coffee.

“My father is in town.” You whispered as you shoved the piece of paper into your pocket.

“What? Are you serious?” Will and Jay were the only ones that knew about your father, and you wanted to keep it that way. You wanted nothing to with him and what he was associated with. If he’s in town its probably to gamble all his money away, drink his problems away and looking to score some drugs. He comes and goes as he pleases. The only time he actually bothers you was when he needed money. “What does he want?”

“Probably the same things he always wants.” You muttered to yourself. “Look, Jay is still undercover. So, just don’t say anything if you see him. I just need time to figure this out before I tell him.”

“Okay, I won’t say anything, but you will have to tell him.” Will stood in front of you before reaching over and squeezed your hand for reassurance. “Do you have any idea when he will be home?”

“No. All I get out of Hailey is that he’s okay.” You ran a hand through your hair before looking down at your wedding ring.

"Well, I'm here if you need me for anything." You gave him a soft smile as he patted your shoulder before leaving you alone. You took your phone out from your pocket hoping that there was a text update from Hailey, but unfortunately, there was nothing. There was a knock on the window alerting you that you were needed.

It was lunchtime and you already felt like you have been here a whole shift. You saw at least a dozen patients and to say you were tired was an understatement, you were exhausted. You decided to take your lunch at the food truck to get some fresh air and get your mind off missing Jay and your father looking for you. As you grab your sweater, you check your phone again, but still no word. You told Maggie that you were going on lunch if see need you for anything. Zipping up your sweater, you started to head to the food truck but stopped in your tracks when you saw him.

A smile spread across your face as he crossed the street. "Jay." You whispered as you ran over him basically jumping into his arms. The moment you were in his arms, you wrapped your arms around his neck and attached your lips to his. Once Jay set you down, you lightly punched his arm causing him to let out a grunt.

“Ow. What was that for?” Jay rubbed his arm in the spot you hit him.

“You could have called! I have been worried sick. You know how many times I check my phone a day?” You weren’t really looking for an answer just making a point.

“Look I’m sorry. I literally just finished the job and I came straight here to see my wife.” Jay reached over and cupped your face before pulling you into for another kiss. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You kissed Jay once again. “Well, your just in time. I’m on lunch and your buying.” Jay chuckled as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. Once the two of you got your food, you sat at the table and he gave you a small summary of the undercover he was doing. He wasn't allowed to talk about it, but he told you what he could.

“Something on your mind?” Your mind kept wandering back to your father. You wanted to enjoy Jay's company and that he was finally home, but you couldn’t help it. You thought maybe you should call him and tell him to leave you alone. Or maybe you should just tell Jay, but if you tell Jay there a chance that he will go overprotective husband/detective, and who knows what he’ll do.

“I just got some information that wasn’t expecting. That all.” Jay reached over and laid his hand on top of yours. “I’m good. I promise.” You smiled at him just as your pager went off. Grabbing your pager from your pocket, you saw that you were needed back in the ED. “Okay, I get back.”

The two of you gather up the garbage then Jay walked you to the entrance. “Look I’ll be home early. Probably before you. I just have to get back to the district finish up a few things.” Jay turned to fully face you. “I’ll have dinner and no I’m not telling you what it is.”

“You really know how to charm a woman don’t you?”

“Only one woman.” You shook your head as he kissed you. “I love you and I’ll see you at home.”

“I love you too.”

You were not sure why you waited this long, but you did and now you were paying for the pain. This morning you woke up to a sharp pain in your upper abdomen and you were pretty sure you pulled a muscle of sorts considering that you do jog when you get the chance and you did go for a jog last night before dinner. You popped some over the counter pain meds and went to work. The meds, of course, did not do anything as the pain still came and disappeared. You stood at the nurse’s station holding your side and rubbing it gently.

"Hey, you okay?" Will came up behind you laid a hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah, I just pulled a muscle.” With that said you felt like you were going to vomit. You ran over to the nearest trash can and empty the contents of your stomach.

“Woah, Y/N!” Will came right behind you and held your hair back. Will leaned over and glanced in the trash can. “Y/N, that blood.”

“Will’s something wrong.” You held your stomach as the pain was unbearable.

“Okay, let’s get you in a room.” Will placed a hand on your lower back and guided you into a room. "Okay, let's hang an IV with morphine. And get me the ultrasound machine.”

“Will! What the hell happened?” Jay walked into the ED 20 minutes later and approached his brother with a worried expression.

“She has a stress ulcer. It's a sore in the small intestine caused by stress.” After being admitted, Will ran some tests to determine what was wrong. The ultrasound machine wasn’t clear, so he decided to send you upstairs to get an endoscope done and then when the results came back.

“Stress?” Jay looked at Will like he had two heads. “Okay, I’m lost. What going on?”

“Jay, it’s not my place to say.” You still haven’t told Jay about your father being in contact with you. Maybe that how all this started. With you trying to hide the fact about your father has been putting a lot of stress on you and it doesn’t help that you have been working a few extra shifts lately. Pulled muscle my ass. You should have just gotten it checked this morning, but no you wanted to suck it up.

“Will," Jay spoke with a stern voice in hopes that would get Will to talk. Jay figured something was bothering you since he came back, but he thought it was just you working extra hours. But now he can clearly see that wasn’t the case and Will knows what's going on.

“She’s going kill me for this.” Will placed his hand on his brother’s upper arm and pulled him to the side so that they were away from people. “William Miller is back in town. She got the call a couple a weeks ago. She told me she was going to tell you when you got back but by the looks of things, she didn’t tell you.”

Jay was couldn’t believe that you would hide this from him after everything you two have been through. Even though Jay was angry and upset, he was still your husband and he needed to know if you were okay. "How is she?"

"She's okay. I got her on some medicine that that will help the ulcer heal and then got on her a mild pain killer for the pain. But other than that she will be fine. She upstairs in recovery. I just want to keep here a little longer to make sure she stable.” Will patted his brother on the shoulder. “Go see her. Just don’t stress her out too much. She could have another episode.”

As Jay walked past his brother, he headed towards the elevator and as he rode the elevator up, he couldn’t help but think about you and this secret you have been hiding. Once he arrived at the floor you were on, he walked over the nurse’s station and asked for your room. The nurse directed Jay towards your room which he then thanked her and walked over to the room. As Jay approached the room, he saw you lying there with an IV in your arm and an oxygen tube. You slowly opened your eyes when you felt someone in the room. Looking to your right, you saw Jay standing there with his hands in his pockets.

“How are you feeling?” Jay slowly walked into the room before approaching the bed and sitting down on the edge.

“I’m okay.” There was an uncomfortable silence in the air, and you had a feeling that it wasn’t because you were lying in this hospital bed. “Jay…”

“Why didn’t you tell me that your father is back in town?” Damn it, Will. You should have figured he would tell Jay, even though he said he won't tell Jay. You removed the oxygen tube from your nose and slowly sat up.

“I thought I could handle it on my own and I was going to tell you, but I just didn’t know how.” Tears formed in the corners of your eyes. You never wanted Jay to find out like this. “I’m sorry.”  You whispered as you looked everywhere but him.

Jay placed two fingers underneath your chin and forced you to look at him. “You know being married means you tell me these things so that we can work them out together.”

“I know and I should have told you.” You leaned forwards and rested your forehead on his shoulder. Jay rubbed your back for a moment before you pulled away. “When can we go home?”

“Will wants to keep you here for a little longer just to make sure everything is okay.” You sighed as you laid back on the bed. Jay chuckled as he stood up from the bed and motioned for you to move over which you did. Once Jay laid down, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder which you laid your hand on his shoulder.

Since telling Jay about your father things have been radio silence from him which led you to think that Jay had something to do with that, but he promised that he had nothing with it. Maybe he gave up and moved on to his next victim. On a positive note, your ulcer was healed, and you were pain-free. Having an ulcer made you realized that you were no longer going to hide any secrets from Jay. Today, was your day off and you had gotten a text from Jay saying that he was able to get away for lunch. The two of you agreed to meet at your favorite Mexican restaurant at 1 pm which was in about 20mins. Once you had changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, you grabbed your phone, keys, and purse and headed out to meet Jay. As you arrived at the restaurant you notice that Jay hasn’t arrived, yet which gave you a moment to glance in the mirror to check yourself and that’s when you saw him.

You closed the sun visor, grabbed your stuff, and hopped out of the car. "So now you're stalking me?” As he approached you, you could clearly see that he was intoxicated which you were not surprised.

“I just wanted to see my daughter.” William took a step closer to you causing you to step backwards. “You’ve been ignoring me.”

“You are not my father. You are a drug addict, alcoholic gambler. You only show up when you need money.” Anger rose in your voice as you secretly pray for Jay to show up.

“It’s different this time. I’m trying to get clean. I just need a little money to help me get through it.” He took another step reaching out to grab you.  

“Don’t touch me.” You backed away again and this time you ran into someone. You instantly turned around and sighed in relief.

“You heard her. You need to leave.” Jay stood slightly in front of you in a protective way and flashing his badge at William. “Or I can arrest you for public intoxication along with assault.”

“This is none of your business. We are just having a friendly conversation.” William tried to step around Jay to get to you, but Jay stood completely in front of you blocking William in case he decided to make things worse.

"It is my business. She's my wife." Jay placed his hand on his gun ready to draw, feeling the situation might escalate.

“Yeah, I did. Not that it’s any of your business. It’s not like you care. You aren’t my father. You impregnated mom and left her high and dry because you were too busy to be a real father.” You step a few inches to the side so that you could see William eye to eye. “You need to leave, or he will arrest you.”

“Look you owe me.” William once again tried step around Jay to grabbed hold of you and that’s when Jay grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. Jay pushed William up against the car and pulled out his handcuff and cuffed him.

“Told you he would arrest you.” You weren’t going to lie, seeing Jay in action kind of turned you on.

“You bitch. I am your father!” William tried to get out of Jay's grip but of course, Jay was strong than him.

“You’re under arrest.” Jay read him his rights as he shoved him into the backseat of his truck. “You okay?”

You nodded your head as Jay shut the door of the backseat. “Not going to lie. Kind of turned on.” A small smirk formed on your face as Jay shook his head with a small on his face.

“I was really looking forward to lunch.” Jay grabbed your hands pulling you closer to him.

“Tell you what. I’ll make us a romantic dinner. Set some candles and we have the night to ourselves." You whispered so that only the two of you could hear. “And then we work our way to the bedroom to have dessert.”

“Babe, you can’t say those things to me and expect me to stay focus at work for another six hours.” Without a word, you placed a small kiss to his lips before pulling away and stepping away.

Tag List: @nervousmemzie @hehurst23 @anamile6878 @esauthor @stephmazz1990 @daenerys-targaryes @bellageorge03 @haileymatthewss @useyourmarners @get0verit @yienell-mariee @olihju @lovelydivs @stuffedcabbagepatch @chrisrandumness @shipatheart @jocelyn1718 @shadyfox242 @boo20-05 @beachfan412 @mheart27 @supyfish @aparkel @httphiddlestan @haleyjs86 @onechicago18 @ladyate @whatisanniedoin @citylightsla @thevelvetseries @wemma554 @samiam9525 @detectiveinchicago @tyzerman91 @foulstatesmandragonbear @spiridakos-wp @katie1996 @glittermakesmesmile @itsdesiree86 @chloebear26 @delcateswift @rosemusic18 @transparentwombathorsedreamer @detective29 @cjhorseback @sgtsophie @onechicagofan20 @katiehud @corie-the-writer @give-jack-a-lightsaber @yzas-stuff @zizzlekwum​

[princebete]

What characters have you cosplayed or plan to cosplay soon? :)

awww--Thank you for asking!  I’m gonna put this here just so I don’t take up the dash-- cuz I get reallllly excited talking about this stuff

So for this cosplay that I am actively working on. It is for an online competition of sorts.  I am working on the Anastasia ball gown from when she sings  Once Upon A December-- except it is going to be a transformation gown ( that’s if I have enough time to get it the ballgown done first, and then work on the pre-transform outfit and figure out the rigging, otherwise it’ll just be the gown). 

But, if I get it fast enough-- this is ideally what I am planning. And the way I plan it will be similar to the cinderella onstage transformation in the Cinderella R&H revival back in 2013 

I am making a few creative changes to the gown as well( nothing major,) to flatter my shape a bit more. The swatches -- hopefully that yellow isn’t too yellow. I uh just bought like 7 yds of it on Etsy. sooooooo... well I guess it could do well for a Belle gown-- but that’d be a big oopsy. Anyways, the velvet and satin dark blue are for the sash/bow. The velvet is the outside while the satin is the “ lining” but when tied in the back, I am hoping it flips around so that you see the beautiful satin. The same goes for the bow-- it’s just gonna look extra. And then for the gown itself, I went with a bridal satin... I have not gotten the organza/tulle yet that I am thinking of using as an overlay on the satin??? That’s still in the works-- but my thought was to create a sweetheart neckline bodice, and then put an overlay on top of it to give it the illusion that it has straps-- still working that out. 

Won’t know until I have all the fabric in one place-- things change as you go. But the idea is to make it similar to how I had my wedding dress bodice-- which is the lower middle there. I have some Preciosa flatback rose Chaton ab crystals on the way-- and some in yellowish gold which ill adorn the gown arbitrarily just to make it blingy and extra and because sparkle. I am at a loss whether to add any kind of trims-- as in piping/lacey bits. I really like the simplicity in this, and that it just sparkles and the textures of the velvet, satin and tulle/organza/net[whichever one works out] all come together. OH! and the sleeves are going to be like these wispy things. and that is in chiffon to compliment the other blues. I am SO scared that it’ll come out looking more purply lavender blue and not really blue. But that’s what dye is for!

I am so sorry I talked into a novel there. But yeah that is the most active thing. I have some other designs but who knows if the will make it into 2021? But here are a bunch I got on the face of my cosplay binder ( this also include Mark, my husband’s characters) 

Tinkerbell and Terence 

Zelda (ceremonial dress) & Link BOTW although I am debating Mipha over Zelda-- it’s just that this looks like an easy build.

Rydia of the Mist from the After Years & Edge  ~ FF IV the after years

Porom & Caine ~ FF IV the after years 

This Chibiusa-esque Sailor Moon Design I found by Azure & Copper ( I call her Sailor Neo Eternal Moon or something also it has WINGS like 4 of them! ) 

Anastasia ** & Dimitri

Kiki & Tombo ( I have a closet cosplay of Kiki)

Megman & Rolle(megaman would be of my own design that I combine with multiple versions. I have the idea to get my husband to program a rapsberry pi to make some moving equipment and lights etc.) 

Elsa 5th Spirit  & Jack Frost from rotg /// or Elsa with the Nokk ( i have this in like.... pieces right now... since a year ago?-- she was supposed to go to Katsu last year for my honeymoon but didn’t make it. However, it’s all there..... in pieces TT^TT) & A Jack Frost Design ( I combined his outfit with Kristoff’s? So like boots and fur lining etc.)  I’ve also considered making Mark into The Nokk-- but  that would be a crazy interpretation. Like ... think Centaur costume with a horse head or idk-- i never got into the design ideas. i would have to take a poll on cosplay amino

Nausicaaaaa & Asbel 

Haru & Baron from the Cast Returns ( in their ball attire) 

Helios & Princess Chibiusa (grown-up style-- so think like Dark Lady hair with the princess dress) 

Groose & Zelda ~ Legend of the Skyward Sword 

Thumbelina & Cornelius ( i have parts of corny somewhere and then bits of thumbelina scattered across stuff) 

Lvl 10 Jester and Caleb 

PHANTOM ACE ( he is in the manga and is a love interest that just wreckkkks & Codename Sailor V I have her on my dressform as we speak--- but ever since going to this Sailor moon cosplay help panel at Katsu, I have recognized the error in my ways, specifically towards the fabric!! So I would like to fix this--- 

I also have this design for a historically inspired version of Princess Aurora 

Sailor She-ra as well ( it’s got armour for dayyyys) 

Regency Inspired Rapunzel-- I tried this before and it failed. Also I HATED the gown. So I am doing it again! <3 And Eugene too 

I am also making stays/corsets to help with the overall silhouette shapes of some of these -- 

But yeah-- I really don’t believe I’ll get to all of this. That would be insane, however, I’d like to make a YT channel that follows the making of all of this and other stuff! But phew! Thanks for asking, that was a lovely question and I enjoyed responding to it. 

(o^^)o  o(^^o)

[marypsue]

Having an extraordinarily real one lately for no apparent reason, so here’s a more-than-usually self-indulgent ficlet. Enjoy. Or don’t, I’m not the boss of you.

...

The next thing he remembers, somebody’s giving him a sharp poke in the shoulder. “Hey. Are you alive?”

He tries to roll over and go back to sleep, but the prodding continues. And every inch of him’s screaming in protest, so lying here and taking it suddenly seems like the better part of valour. “No. ‘m dead. G’way.”

The weirdly familiar voice – a woman, one he knows, but can’t place – sounds amused at that, for some reason. Like it’s funny that he’s dead. He’s pretty sure it’s not. Sad, sure. Tragic. Bittersweet, a little. Ironic, even. But funny? That’s just rude. “All right, dead guy. Well, while you’re still talking, feel like telling me who you are and how you ended up in a secret Russian lab?”

Now that rings a bell. He bothers to crack an eye, and immediately squeezes it shut again. Neon and flashing emergency lights are a bad combination in an already-pounding head.

“Wh- happened?” he manages. He should ask about the kid, too, Joyce, the others, make sure they’re safe, but those are a lot of thoughts to form into words. And this feels like a good place to start.

The weirdly familiar voice has a weirdly familiar laugh, too. “I was kind of hoping you could tell me that. You just came stumbling out of that crack in the wall, cold-cocked the thug who was trying to stick my head in that big spinning blender, and then passed out all over the walkway.” Her voice goes a little subdued as she goes on, “You…probably saved my life.”

He’s not sure how to respond to that, so he defaults to sarcasm. “ ‘s what I do.”

She snorts out another laugh.

“Listen,” she says, after a beat or two of weirdly companionable quiet. The sounds of distant yelling and helicopter blades fill the silence, but they sound pleasantly like somebody else’s problem. And – they’ve gotta have given him something for the pain, because it’s starting to recede pleasantly too, behind a thick, insulating layer of pink cotton fluff. “You showed up with no ID, in a Russian uniform, in a secret Russian lab. None of us know you. The government’s here to clean this all up and sweep it under the rug, and unless you can tell me something really convincing about why they shouldn’t, they’re gonna sweep you right under that rug too. I don’t want that to happen. You really came through for us back there, I don’t think you’re a Russian operative.”

“ ‘m not,” he manages, around a tongue that seems to be trying to fall asleep in his mouth.

She sounds entirely too chipper as she says, “Great! Now can you tell me who you are?”

He manages to force both eyes open a sliver, turning to face her as he enunciates, as clearly as he can, “Jim Hopper. Hawkins, Indiana chief of police.”

Her face is a blur at first, cast purple in the flashing red and blue lights. But it quickly resolves into wide, stunned blue eyes, a sharp chin and cheekbones, a few dark curls escaping a tight braid. A face that’s familiar. Or would be, if it didn’t look a handful of decades too old.

He squints, but her face doesn’t change any more than her stunned expression does. “Nancy Wheeler?”

Her big eyes get, if it’s possible, even bigger at that. The twist of smile that crosses that foxy face as she nods is entirely unamused.

It’s what she says next, though, that really throws him for a loop.

“Yeah. Nancy Wheeler.” Her smile gets wider and whiter but no less disbelieving as she says, “Hawkins, Indiana chief of police.”

 …

 The stranger doesn’t stay conscious for long after that, whatever painkillers the paramedics pumped him full of finally kicking in. Nancy leaves him in the back of the ambulance and goes looking for that doctor. He’s around here somewhere.

She finds him at the mall’s service entrance, watching with a frown as the military guys he’d brought with him empty boxes and boxes full of tubes of glowing green…stuff out of the hidden elevator. Nancy hopes, vaguely, that it isn’t radioactive. That would’ve been the first thing they’d have tested. Right?

The doctor looks up as she walks up beside him, and lets out a little aggrieved sigh when he sees who it is. Nancy decides she’s taking that as a compliment. “Any word from our mystery man?”

“According to him, he’s dead.”

The doctor huffs a laugh, not taking his eyes off the elevator.

Nancy examines her fingernails. There’s blood dried in the beds. She’s not sure when that happened. “Also, according to him, he’s Jim Hopper. Hawkins, Indiana chief of police.”

She feels the doctor’s eyes on her, looks up, and smiles. “And you want to know the really weird part? I believe him.”

The doctor’s expression is inscrutable. All he says is, “You do?”

Nancy glances down at herself again, at the ill-fitting Russian uniform she’s still wearing. She can’t wait to get out of this stupid thing. She can’t wait to go home and sleep for about a month. The absolute last thing she wants right now is more supernatural weirdness to deal with.

But –

“He recognised me,” she says, slowly, putting her thoughts together as she speaks. “He knew my name. He – if you told me he was related to our Hopper, I’d believe it, the resemblance is that strong. He doesn’t sound Russian. And that – Gate, the place it goes to – that’s an alternate dimension, right? The kids’ ‘Upside Down’. It’s like here…but not.”

The doctor’s kind of smiling at her. Nancy bulls determinedly forward. “That’s one other Hawkins out there that we know about for sure. Couldn’t there be more?”

The doctor’s still giving her that smile. Nancy catches his eye and stares him down, and he sort of chuckles and shakes his head. “Sounds like we’ll make a theoretical physicist of you yet.”

“I don’t want you packing him off to some – secret bunker or lab or whatever,” Nancy says, like there’s anything she could do to stop it if the doctor did. If it comes to that, she’ll figure it out. She’s already starting to work on a few plans. But for now, she’ll give the doctor the benefit of the doubt that he’s actually trying to help, and use her words. “If the uniform’s anything to go by, he’s just had the same night from hell that we all have. Whoever he left on the other side must be missing him.”

“You’re forgetting, Chief Wheeler,” the doctor says, still sounding just a little too amused. “You and your…small army blew that machine down there to smithereens. There’s no way back into the – uh – ‘Upside Down’.”

Nancy glares back into that too-knowing look. Maybe the doctor does know Terry Ives still has the power to rip open worlds. If he doesn’t, and this is a good bluff, then no way in hell is Nancy going to be the one to tell him and start the Ives’ nightmare all over again.

“Well, if he ended up here, maybe things didn’t go so smoothly on the other end,” is all she says. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

The doctor’s smile gets a little wider. But all he says is, “I’m sure. You’re a resourceful woman, Nancy Wheeler.”

Nancy watches his face, carefully, for any sign that it’s meant to be an insult. She doesn’t find one.

She leaves him to poke through the Russians’ stuff and heads back around the front of the mall. Partly because she wants to see the others – and one specific other in particular – again, make sure they’re all all right. Partly because she doesn’t want that ambulance driving off with the stranger in the back and disappearing forever.

He saved her life. The least she can do is get him home.

Jonathan’s sitting with Steve and the kids, when Nancy picks her way back through the parking lot. He looks up through his bangs, and a slow smile dawns across his face at that sight of her. Nancy feels something in her chest constrict warmly, and realises she’s smiling, too. And for once, it’s entirely real.

Yeah. If the stranger’s night’s been anything like hers – they’ve got to get him home.

Mike’s sitting in the ambulance, on one side of El, holding her hand as a paramedic washes out the nasty wound in her leg. Will, standing on her other side, has her other hand. Based on the faces all three of them are making, she’s probably grinding the bones in the boys’ hands together, but neither of them looks like they’ll be letting go any time soon. 

Karen’s perched on the ambulance’s tailgate with Joyce, sharing a shock blanket. Maxine Mayfield’s got a blanket, too, even in the hot July night, and Lucas Sinclair’s arm around her. She’s got her head on his shoulder and her arm wrapped around his waist, but her other hand is loosely holding Dustin Henderson’s, like she’s forgotten it’s there. And, even though he barely seems to notice and has gotten into some kind of good-natured argument with the crowd of kids Karen hangs around with these days, Dustin doesn’t let go of her hand either.

Everybody seems to be slowly coming down off the night’s adrenaline, still a little giggly and punchy but starting to sober up. Especially Max and Dustin, who are literally starting to sober up from whatever the Russians shot them full of. Little Phil Callahan’s nodding off against Nancy’s old college friend Kali’s knee, and Kali’s even tolerating it, though Nancy knows the eyebrow she quirks in Nancy’s direction is a clear command to get the kid off her before she stops tolerating it. Jill Stephenson also seems to be nodding off, but since she’s doing it against Benny Hammond’s muscular arm, Nancy has a sneaking suspicion it’s a put-on.

And Jim Hopper – thirteen-going-on-fourteen Jim Hopper, somehow-now-Karen’s-other-best-friend Jim Hopper, definitely-not-Hawkins-Indiana-chief-of-police Jim Hopper, is sitting with his back against Joyce Byers’ knees, listening to Joyce and Karen’s animated conversation with a half-smile that, Nancy thinks, looks an awful lot like contentment.

Nancy must have been staring, trying to mentally compare the kid in front of her to the stranger in the back of the ambulance, because he twists to shoot a scowl in her direction. “What?”

“Did you find anything out?” Jonathan asks, and Nancy can’t help another smile in his direction. Good grief, she’s going soft. “About -” He bobs his head in the direction of the other ambulance. “Him.”

Nancy looks the assembled crowd over, and settles on the truth. “He says he’s you.”

It very obviously takes Hopper a second or two to work out that everybody’s looking at him. “Wh- me?”

Nancy nods. “Jim Hopper. Hawkins, Indiana chief of police.”

There’s a moment of silence while everybody processes this, before Dustin Henderson pipes up. “What – there’s another alternate dimension out there? Other than the Upside Down?”

“Like in The Magician’s Nephew,” Will says, unexpectedly. “The Upside Down’s the wood between the worlds.”

Nancy shoots him a blank look. Karen rolls her eyes. “Mom. Narnia?”

“I thought that was about a wardrobe?”

Apparently this question is just too stupid to dignify with an answer.

Dustin, thankfully, steps in, picking up Will’s train of thought. “So you can only get into the Upside Down from any version of Hawkins -”

“But you can get into any version of Hawkins from the Upside Down,” Will agrees, nodding. He catches El’s confused squint, and shrugs. “It’s a theory.”

“Worth testing,” Nancy agrees. She goes to settle her hands on her belt, and is once again forcibly reminded that she’s still wearing the stupid Russian uniform. “Ugh! That’s it. Screw the government, I’m going back in there and looting the Gap.”

She’s not sure if Jonathan’s joking, at first, when he catches her eye and says, “Oh, but I do so love a woman in uniform.”

Joyce rolls her eyes, and Mike makes an exaggerated gagging noise. Steve shuts his eyes, giving his head a tiny shake, but he’s kind of smiling. Nancy considers flipping them all off, but she quickly decides on something else. Something better.

She crosses the distance between her and where Jonathan’s sitting on the asphalt in two big strides, and bends down to catch Jonathan’s chin in one hand. He turns his face up towards hers without her guidance, though, and when she presses her lips against his, they part with no resistance.

Nancy only holds the kiss for a moment before pulling back, but when she does, Jonathan’s red from the tips of his ears to the collar of his shirt. She allows herself a little satisfaction at that. Still got it, Wheeler. “There. Now, if you hyenas are satisfied, I’m going to go make sure the government doesn’t make our new friend vanish before we get a chance to learn anything more than his name.”

With that said, she turns and walks pointedly across the parking lot toward the other ambulance, not looking back.

She deliberately ignores the hoots, her children’s noises of disgust, and Kali’s sigh of “Finally!”

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Flatbush & Atlantic: part v

Here we have part v! Took me a little longer than usual, but I’m really happy with how it turned out - it’s All Star Weekend with our favorite couple, folks! I haven’t been getting as much engagement as usual with the posts, so please feel free to reblog it and pop into my inbox!

part i part ii part iii part iv

part v

January 28

Cass sat on a metal bench at JFK, legs propped up on her carry-on, eyes flitting between the departures screen and her phone. Mat walked through the sliding doors to her left, catching her eye with a quick wave and smile. If he wanted to travel incognito in Long Island, though, the suit bag and “these-are-more-expensive-than-they-look” sunglasses weren’t helping his cause. “You’ve got the tickets?” She asked. After much convincing, Cass finally agreed to let Mat buy the tickets; he said it would be easier to make sure they were seated together, and had told her to think of it as a belated Christmas present if she’d like. 

Mat nodded, gesturing towards the check-in counters. “Shall we?”

Cat grabbed his hand in her own as they walked to the counter. It hadn’t even crossed her mind that they’d be travelling anything but economy — she never had, after all — so she was more than a little surprised when he steered her and their bags towards American’s first-class check-in. He looked down at her. “What? You think I’d let you go to the All-Star Game in anything but the best? Nah, we’re travelling in style, babe.” Cass flushed, handing over her bags to be weighed and taking the boarding pass from the flight attendant with a harried thanks. 

“Qu-est-ce que c’est, chère?” Mat asked, brushing a kiss over the top of her head as they headed up the escalator. French had been her foreign language in high school and college; it had gotten rusty, but Mat and Tito had been more than happy to practice with her, though Beau’s Québécois accent sometimes proved a little difficult to understand. 

“I’m just really excited for this weekend. I know how much it means to you to be on the team and competing in the skills competition again, and I’m lucky to be able to see you do what you love.” 

After a less-than-ideal forty minutes in the security line, Cass handed her license and Mat’s passport over to the TSA agent, who gave them a cursory once-over before marking their boarding passes and letting them through the scanner. 

They boarded the Delta flight some 40 minutes later, after a much-needed pit-stop at the Starbucks. The flight attendants took their coats and showed them to their seats, and before Cass knew it she was seated in a very large, very comfortable chair that had more legroom than she thought humanly possible, a glass of champagne perched on her tray table. “Is this how you live? All the time?” She whispered to Mat, stunned. 

“Sometimes,” he admitted. “The team charters a plane for games and I usually don’t do first class to go back home, but this is a special occasion. It deserves it, you deserve it.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek, pulling out his Airpods. “We’ve got just enough time to get through Pirates of the Carribean before we land. What do you say?” 

Their plane landed a few hours later, the two catching an Uber to the hotel about twenty minutes away. Apparently there had been “a car” coming for them, but Cass balked at the idea, insisting that the Toyota Corolla coming to pick them up was more than enough for her. 

“Hi, checking in for Barzal,” Mat said, smiling at the receptionist. 

“One moment,” she replied, tapping on the computer and turning around to grab two key cards. “You two will be in room 307, third floor. Elevators are that way. Enjoy your stay!” Mat took the cards, handing one to Cass as they turned towards the row of elevators. As excited as she was, Cass was also just the tiniest bit apprehensive about sharing a room with Mat for a whole weekend. She had spent the night once or twice since the Christmas party, and had officially been granted “a drawer” in his dresser, but it was still the longest (relatively) uninterrupted time she’d spend with him. 

There were a few hours before the festivities kicked off with some sort of red carpet-type thing, so Cass pulled out her laptop and got to work while Mat went off to exercise in the hotel gym. None of her professors this semester recorded lectures, so she was relying on good friends and a strong Wifi connection to get the notes from the one class she was missing. Cass wasn’t one to skip out on responsibilities and she did feel bad about not being there, but she had earned a break. 

Mat came back a little while later, and Cass took that as her cue to start getting ready. After he got out of the shower, she took over the bathroom, spreading her makeup, brushes, and precisely-3.4-ounce bottle of hairspray over the counter. This was the first big event she was going to as a WAG, and nerves were flying. Cass was already well aware that she didn’t fit into the typical mold, and hated the fact that she felt like she had to justify herself everywhere she went. And it didn’t help that Mat wasn’t just one of the best young players in the NHL in recent memory, but also a total smokeshow of a man who had hundreds of women falling at his feet. 

But galas, parties, extravagant events were nothing new to her. She had been the president of her sorority at UConn, organizing and attending more than her fair share of her own formals and semiformals or accompanying a friend or boyfriend to theirs. And law school called for dressing up more than occasionally. She was no stranger to impressing people. The dress was light blue to coordinate with Mat’s suit, heavily beaded, and absolutely gorgeous. This was the one part of the trip that she had absolutely refused to let Mat pay for, even though he offered. The league covered the room and he had gotten the flights, and her ego needed to pick up at least a marginal part of the expenses. 

She twisted her hair up into a bun, bobby pins stuck in her mouth as she pulled out a few strands of hair. Setting spray? Check. Lipstick? A deep rose shade that she’d had since her first year of law school, so, check. “You almost ready to go, chou?” She asked, leaning down to her suitcase and grabbing the strappy heels she’d picked out for the night.

“Uh, yeah,” Mat said, buttoning his suit jacket. He usually had pretty good taste even before they started dating, but the navy blue velvet suit he was wearing was really something else. “Wow, you look amazing, Cass.”

She smiled, stepping towards him. “The lipstick’s kiss-proof, you know.”

He raised one eyebrow. “You wanna try that out?”

---

It was a fifteen minute drive to the venue, the car the league had sent packed with players and their partners, or whoever else had managed to wrangle a spot. She thinks there were some cousins involved? Mat got out before her, holding the door open while he leaned down. “The reporters are usually fine, they get that most of you guys aren’t used to this,” he murmured, “but you don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to, I’ll say something if I see it getting out of line.” 

She squeezed his hand in appreciation, taking a breath to steady her nerves before following him onto the red carpet. After posing for a few photos, they moved onto the reporters, Mat getting steered towards someone who Cass was pretty sure was from SportsCenter, but she couldn’t be positive in the crowd of hundreds. Cass briefly introduced herself, stepping slightly to the side as the conversation’s topics veered towards strategy and expectations, how best to manage playing with only three players and how he was feeling about his chances for fastest skater. 

“And you’ve brought your lovely girlfriend Cassidy along, how did you two meet?” Cass heard her name mentioned, quickly snapping out of the daydream she had been lost in. Fluff pieces were nothing new and she knew it would come up, everyone loved getting to know the players outside of a strictly hockey context. 

“Yeah, so I’m in law school, and I got an internship with the counsel’s office for the Islanders,” Cas started, “and I helped Mat with some visa stuff. He kept trying to drop hints that he was into me, but—”

“They weren’t hints. I was being as obvious as possible,” Mat deadpanned. Cass giggled. 

“Well, yeah, in retrospect I was just being incredibly oblivious, but came to one day, and the rest is history.” Mat leaned down, brushing a kiss over her cheek, and Cass could see camera flashes go off in her peripherals. She’d have to track that picture down later.

The interviewer nodded, asking a few follow-ups on her exposure to hockey growing up, her dress, and one more. “So, you hardly live the typical life of a hockey girlfriend. What do you think about that?”

Cass was confused. “Pardon?”

“Law school, being a lawyer. That’s not something that you typically see WAGs pursue, especially considering the salaries NHLers make. It’s not like they have to do much.” Cass was floored. How could someone be so disrespectful, not only to her, but to every other woman in her position? She was struggling to come up with a response. As it would happen, she didn’t need to. 

“Excuse me?” Mat’s response was dripping venom. “Why would you ask something like that?”

The interviewer tried to backtrack, but ended up digging himself into an ever deeper hole. “Well, I just meant that you don’t see it often, which is true—”

“Maybe you don’t, but that shouldn’t matter,” Mat said. “Being a stay-at-home mom or running charity events is awesome if that’s something that they want to do, but it’s not for everyone. And don’t you dare ever suggest that Cass hasn’t worked hard as hell to get to where she is. She’s graduating in five months from an Ivy League law school, and she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. Don’t ever talk about her that way. Don’t ever talk about any woman that way.” He turned away, his hand on Cass’ upper back. “Don’t ever let anyone undersell you. You’ve worked too damn hard and come too damn far.”

 Jan. 29 (fri)

 Cass smoothed out her dress, taking a last-minute look in the mirror to make sure nothing was stuck in her teeth. “How do I look?” She asked, turning to Mat. 

“You look great, babe. Stop stressing.” She had picked a floral dress and denim jacket for breakfast with Mat’s family, but couldn’t stop wringing her hands in worry. Mat crossed the room in three steps, holding her hands still and looking at her more intensely than she had ever seen. “Remember when I was losing my shit meeting your parents?” Cass gave a tearful nod. “And it all turned out okay and now I text your brother probably more than you do?” 

She laughed. “Noah worships you, and my dad loves you. Thinks you’re ‘good for me,’ whatever he means by that.”

“I think,” Mat said, tapping her temple with one finger, “that sometimes you get a little stuck up here. You’re so smart, and it’s incredible, but you overthink things sometimes, pretty girl.”

She ducked her head. “That’s probably true.” 

“But what I meant to say is that it turned out I had nothing to worry about. And neither do you, my parents will love you and Liana’ll just be excited to have another girl around to complain about me to. It’s going to go great,” he added with finality. 

“You promise?” Cass asked.

Mat kissed her, soft and sweet and slow, the kind of kiss that wasn’t born of passion and lust but of just genuine deep trust and affection. The kind of kiss that brings your feet back to the ground when your head’s stuck off in the clouds. “I promise.”

Cass flashed a small smile, squeezing Mat’s hand in hers and heading towards the door. “Then I guess we’d better get going.” She had been up late the night before, searching on Yelp for the perfect restaurant, despite Mat’s continual claims that they’d “love wherever, they just want food.” Though, she’s not sure what she expected when asking a 20-something man what he wanted to eat. There was a cute place a ten minute drive away, with four-point-seven stars and reviews that said their quiches were the “best thing on this godforsaken planet,” according to IridescentGymRat44. Cass loved quiches. 

It was a quick Uber over, Mat’s mom having texted him that they had already arrived and snagged a table in the back for privacy. It may have been a family event, but it was still All-Star Weekend and Mat was still, well, Mat. It wasn’t likely he could fly under the radar for too long. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand reassuringly as they turned the corner, and his face split into a wide grin at the sight of his family. Hugging each of them quickly, he stepped back to introduce Cass, one hand lightly resting on the small of her back. “This is Cass, my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, we figured,” Liana said pointedly, causing Cass to poorly cover up a snort of amusement, which in turn just caused everyone to laugh even more at their efforts trying not to laugh so hard. 

As it would turn out, Mat was right. She really had nothing to worry about; his parents embraced her (literally and metaphorically) as soon as she set down and his sister immediately whipped out her phone to show his worst baby pictures. “Hey,” she said, as Mat glared at her, “you deserve to know what you’re getting yourself into.” They were interested in her work and school, and Mat gladly took the liberty of explaining how they met, earning a slap on the back of his head from his mom when he got to the part with the visa slipup. They said their goodbyes sometime around eleven; Cass would have liked to stay longer, but everyone needed to get back to their hotels and ready for the skills competitions in the afternoon. 

“Excited to defend the title?” Cass said, bumping her shoulder against Mat as they walked down the hallway to their room. 

“Yeah, I guess,” Mat said, shrugging slightly. “Obviously it would be great to win, but there’s still McDavid and Eichel and a ton of other guys that have just as good of a chance to run away with this thing.” After his win last year, it was no shock that Mat had been picked for the fastest skater competition again, but the hordes of fans and reporters who were expecting him to go back-to-back weren’t helping his nerves. They reached the door, Mat shoving his hand into his pocket to dig out the key card. 

“Look at me,” Cass said softly, once they had gotten their shoes off and were propped up next to each other in bed. Mat’s head turned, his hand still absentmindedly tangled in her curls. “You’re going to do great. Win or lose. I believe it, your family believes it, the other guys on the team believe it. Now all we need is for you to believe it yourself.”

---

Cass was walking through the tunnels of the BB&T Center, phone pressed to her cheek as she tried to listen to her dad on the other end of the line. A few players and their families were milling about, some getting ready to compete in their skills competitions, others catching up with old friends. “Oh, and you booked the tickets to Hermosillo, yeah?” It was a family tradition for them to spend a few weeks every summer back in Mexico with her grandparents; they had split their time between San Antonio and their hometown ever since retirement. Cass always tried to make it, but the past summer she wasn’t able to wrangle the two weeks off from her job that she’d need for the trip, and it had crushed her. They weren’t getting any younger, and her abuelo had suffered a nasty stroke the year prior that made her all the more anxious to visit. 

“Yep, layover in Mexico City like usual, I’ll send you the ticket when the trip gets closer,” Patrick responded.

“And you’ve got everyone’s passport info?”

She could imagine her dad rolling his eyes. “Yes, Cassidy. Everything’s booked, everything’s fine. Have fun in Florida, tell Mat good luck from us.”

“Okay, I will. Love you, dad.” Cass said, running a hand through her hair. 

A voice that she didn’t quite recognize called her name, and as she turned around she was more than a little surprised to see Auston Matthews waving at her. “It is Cassidy, right?”

She nodded her head. “Cassidy, Cass, I’ll answer to both.”

The confusion on her face must have still been evident, because he followed up. “I follow Barzy on Instagram, he brags about you all the time.”

“Yeah, sounds like him,” she said, tapping her fingers on her thigh. 

“Are you going to introduce me?” His mom asked from beside him. 

“Oh, yeah, ‘course,” Auston said, stumbling over his words. “Mom, this is Cassidy, obviously. Cassidy — Cass?” He questioned, looking over at her. She nodded. “Cass, this is my mom Ema.” She greeted her with a warm hug, and Cass just about melted. Moms really do give the best hugs. 

Ema spoke up. “Do you have family in Hermosillo? I heard you mention it on the phone.”

“Mhm!” Cass’s head almost bounced from how fast she was nodding. “My grandparents split time between there and San Antonio, we try to visit for a few weeks every summer.”

“That’s where I grew up,” she responded, beaming. “It’s wonderful, but the summers get so hot, don’t they?” Cass and Auston both nodded. 

“I think it got up to 110º when I was there once? Maybe 115º? I want to lock myself in a freezer sometimes, I swear.” The whole group collapses into laughs, and spent a few minutes talking before Cass had to tear herself away and find her seats with Mat’s family for the fastest skater competition. Ema had left her with no fewer than three restaurant recommendations, making her swear to try them all. “Best tacos I’ve ever had,” she had said about one. 

Cass greeted Mat’s family with a wave as they settled into their seats, one row up from the ice on the right side. The players had just come out, and it only took a few seconds to make eye contact with Mat. She was wearing his — her — jersey, and had long since abandoned trying to roll up and cuff the sleeves. It wasn’t going to happen, and she kind of liked the feeling of being buried in it. She blew him a kiss as the announcers voices echoed through the stadium, and the heat was on. 

Mat was slated to go last, which was either the best or worst thing depending on how you thought about it. Cass was always someone to sign up for the first slot for speeches and presentations, and hated having late games in tournaments during her lacrosse days. She liked being able to get it over with. Mat was the opposite. He was competitive and stubborn to a fault, needing to size up the competition and get ahead of the game. Needed to know what to expect. There first few she didn’t recognize, a few first-time faces to the All-Star competition, a rookie from Winnipeg who was a favorite for the Calder. Everyone was doing well, really well — all the times but one were under 14 seconds, but nobody had broken Mat’s time yet. 

Eichel got close, McDavid got closer, and then Mat was up to defend his championship. She blew a kiss to him as he stepped up to the line, murmured a prayer, and the whistle blew. Clean straightaways, tight turns, gaining speed on the curves, and in the blink of an eye it was over. Cass knew he had won, the roar of the crowd told her as much, but she didn’t realize his time. She didn’t realize until the announcer reported that with a time of 13.080 seconds, Mathew Barzal had just set the record. His face was stunned for a moment, looking up at the screen and then down at the ice and then back up at the screen again, while being hugged and congratulated from all sides, as if trying to process what had just happened. 

It was the last one of the night, so Cass said her goodbyes to Mat’s family, with a promise to meet up before the game the next day, and hurried down to meet Mat. There wasn’t anything formal scheduled for the rest of the night, so he came out of the locker room in just a pair of athletic shorts and an Islanders t-shirt. Cass ran up, jumping into his arms as he dropped his bag to catch her. “Woah, babe,” he said, steadying his hands on the back of her thighs, “coulda given me a warning there.”

Cass kissed him. “Wouldn’t have been nearly as fun that way, though, huh?”

“You’re right.” Mat shrugged good-naturedly, setting Cass down and grabbing his bag and her hand. 

“How does it feel having beaten the record?” Cass asked. 

Mat ran his free hand through his hair, still shower-damp. “So surreal. I wasn’t even sure I’d win, not with how stacked the lineup was, let alone get anywhere near breaking the record. It’s ridiculous, but it’s amazing.”

“You’re amazing.”

 Jan. 30 (sat)

 Mat was busy doing media and catching up with some of the guys before the game later that day, and Cass had elected to stay in the room. Mat had offered for her to come along, “you might think it’s interesting?” he had noted, but she’d be damned if she let herself fall behind in her last semester, she was just too close. It had already been a bit of a stretch for her to take a day off and come for the whole weekend, so her afternoon was instead filled with some utterly thrilling reading on advanced contract theory and a thick-as-all-hell review book for the New York state bar. She leaned back in her chair, taking the last remaining sip of the mediocre Lipton tea she had snagged from the basket by the room’s coffee maker. She could finish it later.

Cass picked up her phone, pressing play on a voicemail from Fiona that had been left earlier in the afternoon. 

Uh, hey, it’s me. Cass, I don’t know if this is what you want to hear, but I don’t think I’d be a very good friend if I didn’t say it. Uh-oh. Conversations that started like that never ended well. I’m happy about you and Mat, I know you like him a lot, but I’m worried that he’s distracting you. I know you told us you’d be gone, but we missed you at the study group, and I know you skipped your law review meeting today. The rest of the message was more of the same, but one sentence stuck out to her. Think about where your priorities are. Think about where you want them to be. 

Fiona Chan had a one-track mind. And Cass loved her for it — she was one of the most dedicated people she knew and an incredible friend. But she sometimes found it hard to understand when people had priorities that extended beyond the bounds of law school, when their sole focus wasn’t on their Contracts final or clinic or clerkship they were doing for some top-tier appellate judge. 

She flopped back on the bed. Think about where your priorities are. She had been spending a lot of time with Mat lately, but no more than anyone would spend with their significant other — right? And it wasn’t a sin for her to have a life outside of law school. She was still more than competent at her job, got most of the reading done, was prepared when professors would cold-call on her. She still showed up to meetings. 

But even she would admit that her head wasn’t in the game all the time, if she could hazard another High School Musical reference. She’d sneak texts, meet him for lunch instead of going to office hours, and now, take weekends off to be with him. But that wasn’t a bad thing. Or was it? Her grades weren’t really suffering, and nobody else had mentioned anything. Friends notice things, though, Cass thought. And Fiona was one of the most perceptive people she knew. She groaned. Why wasn’t there ever an easy way to figure these things out? She really liked Mat — she might even love him — but Cass couldn’t help but feel like she was gambling on something that wasn’t a sure thing. And her future wasn’t something to play games with. 

[pbandjesse]

I finally got to go to work at my new site! And I really like it! But today felt like a really long day. I havent worked 7 hours in a row for a while. So I am pretty tired. 

I had a really hard time last night. I was really emotional and I didnt feel good still. I cried a bunch and I just felt really dumb for feeling so sad for no reason. So sleep did not come easy. 

But I woke up in a better mood. It was a very grey day. And as I was getting washed up and dressed it started snowing again. 

The apartment was incredibly hot. The heaters worked to well today. But it was cold outside. I had to leave here really early to go get fingerprinted and I was nervous about driving. And while I feel a lot better, my cough has gotten more annoying. Its just like a tickle that happens in the back of my throat and its very embarrassing because there is a pandemic happening around a cough!! So I try to keep it in and then I choke and sound insane. But I got washed up and dressed and said goodbye to James and sweetP and off I went into the wet world. 

The snow was very pretty. But still a little scary to be out in. It was mostly just wet though. I got to the finger printing place and had trouble finding the front door but I did it and helped the uber eats guy find the door too. We were both confused. 

The girl who did my prints was very nice and it was nice talking to her. I didnt have to pay because it was for the Y so that was cool. And it was a quick process. And soon enough I was back out into the snow. Wishing I had a hat and different shoes. 

I went home and it was still early. I dont love starting work at 11. As it cuts into my art and lazy morning time. But It was only 930. So I had breakfast and watched a video. I worked on a new loom. And listened to James lead their very first substitute teaching class! It was super cute hearing them talking to the kids and I just felt all proud and bubbly about it. 

I wish I could have stayed and listen longer. But soon enough it was time to walk to my new job. 

And it wasnt a bad walk. I brought an umbrella, as the snow was wet and heavy. It would soon turn to ice and rain though so the site stayed open. All good. It is actually a really easy walk. And it turned out when I got lost the other day I was only one street over. I dont know how I had gotten lost but I made it there with no trouble at all. 

I got inside and they showed me where the academic support area was. And I got to meet the people Ive been texting with and everyone was so nice! I had a really nice day actually! Its a much smaller group, closer to my PAL location. And there were even a few kids from my last site there! So that was a nice surprise. 

I had to do some waiting and while I did I ended up buying a chair on Instagram from a local antique store and its super strange. It's a dressing chair and James is gonna pick it up for me tomorrow. I'm very excited.

I spent the first hour getting acclimated and showed around. Signing things and filling out paperwork. I was a little annoyed because all the paperwork I had gotten together and printed for the last site somehow got lost again and because I dont have access to it on my phone or tablet I would have to wait until I got home to sort it out so that was dragging on me. But honestly. It was a great time. 

The kids are sweet. But it was a long day and filling in that time was hard. Especially because I was feeling a little run down. I did get to lead a art project and that was a great way to introduce myself. This site lets the kids watch some movies during lunch and pick up time. And we did multiple little projects in the afternoon and went to the gyms to run around. We had peaches and cheez its for a snack and I really enjoyed the peaches. I should buy peaches more. 

I really like my coworkers though so thats pretty great. The one is a woman and Im only with her for the first hour, but she seems nice. The other I am with for most of the day and he made me feel really cool but it was also because he seemed really cool. And I hope we can work together well. We brainstormed some art projects and other project ideas. And he's much more into the physical stuff then me so it was fun to watch him come up with games and things in the gym. I played catch with some girls. I did try to do the lead stretching he had but I got a crazy charlie horse in my side that scared me so I stopped after the first couple stretches. I dont know what happened but I hope it doesnt happen again. 

The end of the day I was just cleaning and making plans for tomorrows project. Im going to try to get them to sew. Well see how it goes. But I have a good feeling. Its a young group but not to immature. I think it will be good. 

I was happy to go home though when the last kid got picked up. My new coworkers are a little nervous about me walking home which is very sweet of them. But the sun was still out and there were lots of street lights. And I was home quick. 

James had put together snacks for me so I wouldnt get an upset belly while waiting for dinner. I got the best partner. We had little pizzas for dinner. And as we were cleaning up got a frantic call that apparently a pipe from our apartment was leaking into the girls below us. Aw man. So it was a frantic figure out where that water was coming from and James figured out it was coming from the sink. So we had to turn the water off there whille I ran downstairs to talk to our neighbors and get some duct tape. Mr Will is going to come in the morning to check it out. But water damage is my nightmare so I was a little unsettled. 

Once we got it sorted out things felt okay. I went and did some organizing in my studio. Worked on some art. And now I am on the couch being sad about my mouth hurting but also just enjoying listening to James play monster of the week with their friends and weaving a beautiful story and it just makes me laugh and its great. 

Now I am going to wash up and get in bed. I hope its an easy sleep. For you as well. Goodnight everyone! Be safe out there.