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roz-ani · 11 months

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Izzy deserved to hear that from Ed.

That's Izzy's family. It's Izzy whom the crew loves.

That was Izzy's arc, not Edward's.

Now, please, don't get me wrong. It is a part of Ed's growth. Still, the main focus has always been his relationship with Stede and his identity. You can absolutely dive into the captain's relationship with his crew, but you don't replace a character's arc with another one's, especially at the last minute.

I understand the symbolism of Blackbeard "dying" with Izzy. The gatekeeping, gaslighting, feeding the persona of the world's greatest and most merciless pirate staying in the past... I am also fully convinced that Blackbeard's right-hand man actually passing away to achieve that was unnecessary.

What this season did for Izzy was absolutely incredible. That man abandoned his ego and changed the way he perceived power, respect, loyalty, and support for and because of a group of people he despised at the beginning.

His main purpose has always been looking after any crew he was a part of. He had more contact with them than the captain himself, especially aboard the Revenge when Blackbeard was going through his mental breakdown. In the first season, we saw Izzy wouldn't be the best captain, but he did have the experience and eventually learned how to look after his subordinates. All because he finally experienced proper care himself.

He got his heart broken in more than one way, yet managed to find his people, his family. Izzy finally got to know what real appreciation looks like. He got it from the people he initially mistreated. The crew decided to look after Izzy because "he's their dick". They stopped fighting after seeing him at his lowest. They made him a new prosthesis out of the figurehead of all things, showing the audience how they see him - the crew's protector, the spirit of the ship.

At first, Izzy kept pushing them away. Not out of hatred for them, but for himself. Because healing is difficult, it hurts, it takes incredible strength and willpower to admit to yourself that your environment is harmful and that you might be the problem as well. Especially when leaving it seemingly deprives you of your identity or purpose in life. Besides that, come on, it's Izzy Hands. A man who wasn't heartless, but also not "soft", as he would have most likely put it himself. He was still rough around the edges and cynical. However, after all this time he finally allowed himself to let go and feel comfortable, so some of that bitterness disappeared over time. I still don't believe he was fully healed, but he was on the right path.

Despite changing his outlook on life, Izzy was still respected. He knew what mattered and what to do and say to make sure his crew's issues were properly resolved.

Now, Ed's apology. At first I felt like there didn't need to be any deep talk between the first mate and his captain, because they understood each other well enough. That's not what communication is about though. It's not about taking something or someone for granted. Especially is the conflict escalates to such extent. There should've been more to that. They should've both had a conversation about their relationship and what made them bad for each other. Most importantly, how they could fix that and heal together. If that would require them to part ways, so be it. At least they'd separate on good terms. Now we can only speculate.

I would say my biggest problem is not with Izzy Hands dying. It's about how he died. Although I doubt I'd support this decision in season 3, at least it wouldn't be so rushed. There was no proper build-up to it. Izzy and Richard, of all people, had a deep talk about understanding piracy, a concept that is a base for one's actions. This was probably the biggest red flag, which tragically appeared in the same episode Izzy died. The crew didn't thank him or bid him farewell. He wasn't properly mourned. He was buried in the ground.

"You should've expected that. Things were going too well. A mentor character always dies after regaining hope". I have two HUGE problems with that.

First of all: a mentor character? I guess? For two, maybe three episodes at best? Izzy did meet some mentor archetype points. He was Stede's mentor for a bit, I mentioned his experience and position as the first mate, but I wouldn't say that's his main purpose. The writers did, but we're going to talk about it in a second.

Second of all: this was many people's comfort show. Especially when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community. I myself have praised this show for its take on communication and found family portrayal. It was fun, light-hearted, safe.

I understand the need to tell your story, I truly do. I know that people don't have the right to tell someone how to create, because the audience, especially the more pushy members, can be very often self-centered and don't know what's planned for a show's future. Except that these days you really have to be careful with how you plan your story with the corporations holding all the power - that's why we need to support the strikes. You need to be prepared to disclose necessary information in a proper way if needed. You need to pay attention to what you're portraying.

Now, I also believe that media literacy is dead (exaggeration) and people really can't for example understand that stories develop over time, seasons, or chapters unless they're consuming a media piece that has already run its course. They do have the tendency to take things literally and not search for the context.

Still, in the postmodern era of creativity, you need to know you don't hold all the power, despite not owning people anything. Your audience can interpret things on their own. What you believe to have no power or significance can mean the world to your audience. Remember how difficult it was for people to believe this show actually has LGBTQ+ characters and a love story in it? Or how the creator admitted he was surprised by the scepticism? I don't. Not only because I started watching the show quite late, but also because I don't consider myself to be a part of this community. It didn't mean so much to me, because I currently focus on different aspects of the content I consume. However, I know how they perceive media and their products. I may not have the same experience, but I know where theirs comes from. And I know that this show was just different. TV series, books, etc. do not belong only to the creators nowadays. Yes, they are their products, but they are made for an audience that has the right to individually approach and criticise them. And even though overinterpretation is a thing, there is no one right answer to certain issues.

BUT THEN AGAIN: THE MONEY. Was it the budget? I honestly have no idea. Perhaps it was, because literally everything is dependent on it these days...

See, we could argue back and forth about the behind-the-scenes, but I don't think I have enough knowledge of that. I also don't want to get into the topic of disability, suicide, abuse, etc., because I am not the right person for it, even though some of those things are a part of my experience. There are people out there who can give you their thoughts on their perception of Izzy's character and his significance in those areas.

I suppose my point is... I'm mad and genuinely disappointed. I can't remember the last time I was so attached to a character. I absolutely adored Izzy's character and was drawn to him in the first season. I related to him struggling with his toxic environment and finding a safe space. I was ready to see him become a captain. Heck, even if that wasn't planned for him, I still trusted the crew to let the character be happy after everything he's been through. Instead, I got this: "As long as you turn over a new leaf and heal, your death is a good one... Redemption equals no happily ever after... Remember that life isn't fair..." Aren't we tired of such narratives? What does it say about us and the media we consume? Isn't hypernormalisation of such issues exhausting?

I'm disappointed because I had hope. Even after getting betrayed by so many stories in recent years, I still had it. I had hope for a different character. Hope for a different show.

Edit: Just wanted to make something clear because I see more and more people focusing on Buttons sitting on Izzy's grave and David Jenkins liking a tweet about him being a witch. You could call me a hypocrite for pointing out people's lack of media literacy and not even considering the possibility of bringing Izzy back. That was my first thought. I would absolutely love for Buttons to do his magic and revive our man. There is something inside of me still holding onto that hope. I'm just really, really, REALLY tired of having hope in shows nowadays. I'm choosing to remain sceptical. Who knows, maybe I'll be positively surprised. Still, I stand by what I wrote: I think killing Izzy was unnecessary in the first place.

#and so necromancy is the only thing I have left #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #izzy hands #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd 2 #our flag means death 2 #mine #roz writes

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lee-lucius · 9 months

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A New Kind of Affection

Summary: Izzy Hands accidentally reveals how touch-starved he is to Stede, who is more than happy to help.

Word Count: 2,765

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year @aaaxolotl I was your Secret Santa! This was super fun to get to make, and I hope you enjoy! 💙

He still wasn't quite sure how Stede had dragged him into any of this.

It hadn't been long, only a week or two, since Stede called him into his room, oddly similar to tonight. He'd asked for them to dine together, and well, Izzy didn't see much of a reason not to indulge his captain in his strange request.

They met in Stede's room for a surprisingly pleasant dinner, though Izzy felt unsurprisingly underdressed compared to his host's garish outfits, and he was well aware his table manners left much to be desired, but neither of those had been quite necessary for a pirate's life, and Stede didn't seem to mind, not when he was seemingly so enthralled by the company.

Through Izzy teaching him how to fight, they'd grown fairly comfortable with each other, building up a rapport that was considerably less antagonistic than it had been before. They fell back into it over dinner with ease, perhaps more amiable than they'd ever been, and Izzy found himself even laughing at a few of Stede's jokes, though he hid it behind a strategic cough or two.

Neither of them realized, or cared, just how much they were drinking until they were stumbling around the room, hiccuping around their laughter, for once a genuine smile on Izzy's face.

Memories of that night were fuzzy, and what happened next wasn't entirely clear, but he crumbled under Stede's inquisitive gaze, his warm smile, his soft whispers, and he'd admitted something he shouldn't have.

Something he'd hoped that they'd both forget come morning, even when Stede squeezed his hand before he left, promising something about him being more included, more appreciated, before Izzy stumbled back to his own quarters, flushed from more than just the booze.

He wished he hadn't admitted it. His jealousy when he watched his crewmates, or his captains, and saw the easy air around them, the casual touches and comfort; something about them made envy stir in his chest, thinking about the kind of relationship he hadn't let himself have for years, or maybe ever when he really thought about it.

Now, on The Revenge, it seemed more of a possibility than it ever had before. After breaking down, being vulnerable, Izzy was welcomed; something had shifted; whether it was in him or his surroundings, he didn't know, but it was a good change, no matter how uncomfortable it had been.

His relationship with the crew was different now. Friendly, because he'd finally allowed himself to be open to their friendship, and the change was more gratifying than he ever would've thought.

It was the most relaxed, most relieved Izzy had been in a long time, but he still wanted more, even if he felt he didn't deserve it.

He never would've pursued it ordinarily, admitted it to anyone besides himself, if his drunken self hadn't betrayed him entirely.

But that change, the change Stede brought on, was a good change too.

When they'd met again the next morning, Izzy more pissy than usual with his aching head, he thought Stede may have forgotten it based on his aimless ramblings filled with pleasantries that Izzy had to bite his tongue to sit through.

Stede asked him again to meet him later in his room, and Izzy agreed; he hadn't expected what happened.

He supposed it would be like the previous night, a pleasant conversation, perhaps a shared meal, a drink or two, though certainly not as much as they'd indulged it before.

And it had started that way. There was something about Stede, something that used to make Izzy's skin crawl, his anger, his annoyance overpowering everything else he felt about it, but now it only filled him with warmth, an easy, familiar feeling that allowed him to unwind. That must've been why he didn't suspect anything, certainly not when he and Stede shared a drink, casually picking at a tray of assorted snacks he'd prepared.

Maybe he should've; when Stede sat next to him this time, instead of sitting across from on the other side of his long table. It could still be ignored whenever they bumped shoulders or when one of them shifted slightly, their knees accidentally touching, or when they both reached forward at the same time, hands colliding for the briefest second before Izzy pulled back.

Until their food was finished, abs the conversation lulled, a not uncomfortable silence enveloping them as they nursed their drinks, and Stede, seeming to muster all of his courage, leaned into him, curling into Izzy's side and resting his glass on his shoulder with a content sigh.

Izzy stiffened, and his muscles didn't relax again for a long time, but they both kept the silence, and Stede didn't move.

His breath was steady, ghosting against Izzy's cheek and leaving a faint trace of Stede's wine, fruity and rich. While his hair was soft, delicate strands brushing against and tickling his ear, but he couldn't be bothered at the proximity, at his hair that was too lovely and soft and clean to ever belong to a pirate, yet here Stede was. Izzy wondered if it was Stede's pulse or his own that he felt, drumming violently against his skin, wondered if it mattered.

Not long afterwards, Izzy excused himself, and they parted ways; this time, he had no excuse for his blush.

He didn't know why Stede kept inviting him, or why he kept coming.

It wasn't something he was familiar with. His family had never been awfully affectionate. And as he got older, as he became a pirate, the opportunities became fewer and fewer.

Most contact came during a fight, in the form of a sword or gun or swinging fist, where the only pleasure that could be found came from the adrenaline coursing through his body, the satisfaction of winning, of surviving. There were few other means that arose on a ship aside from boyish tussling, accidentally knocking shoulders with his crewmates, or the rare moments of intimacy when he let someone else, let Ed, tend to his wounds after a particularly bad fight.

But Stede Bonnet came along with his eccentric, unpirate-like ideals and continued to confuse Izzy the same way he had since the first day he met. Bringing that unnecessary frivolity with him and introducing everyone to lavish comforts they didn't want to forgo.

That, he supposed, was why he continued to join Stede; he didn't want to give it up just yet.

Which was why he was sitting on his couch, thumbing through a book from Stede's library, which was still a horrible idea, even if it made for interesting entertainment, with Stede next to him, hand holding Izzy's as he thumbed through his own novel.

It was one of the more relaxing ways he'd spent an evening in quite awhile, or it would've been, if there wasn't one thing nagging him, making his mouth twitch as the uncomfortable feeling spread. "Stop that?"

"What?"

"The hand," he murmured, gesturing with his neck as he struggled to insert his bookmark with only one hand.

"Oh," he let go, a slight frown tugging at his face as he leaned away a touch. "Sorry."

"Not you. Just tickled a bit."

Stede paused, the smile returning with a playful twist, "You're ticklish?"

He grunted, eyeing him warily. "Guess so. Never really been before."

"I've gotten into a few good-natured scuffles in my time. It can be quite fun!"

"You like it?" He couldn't help asking, surprised at the sudden admission.

"Well, I've certainly always enjoyed it."

Izzy huffed out a laugh. He supposed it wasn't that surprising; Stede always had been odd, and it was just like him to like that kind of thing, something so strangely cute.

Leaning back, his eyes raked over Stede, cautiously debating in his head. It was clear as day that Stede was comfortable with him; the only limiting factor seemed to be Izzy's own hesitance, his lack of familiarity with the casual touches Stede so readily gave. He was being quite open about his fondness for tickling, almost suspiciously so. And while Izzy had never even dreamed of tickling someone before, had never even been the one to initiate contact between him and Stede in a non-violent manner, he supposed that here, now, wouldn't be a bad time to start.

"Let's see it then," he shifted, angling his body as he leaned closer to Stede, searching his eyes for any tinge of desire, of excitement.

"Go right ahead!"

His smile grew, eyes brightening at the prospect, but there was an undercurrent of shyness there, weighing down his cheerful expression, matching Izzy's own nerves.

Slowly, he reached his hand out, touch and hesitant as he dragged in along Stede's arm, grazing his silken shirt. While Izzy had never been tickled directly, he'd experienced it plenty of times through accidental touches brushing against his own sensitive spots, so he had a fair idea where Stede would be ticklish; he just didn't know how much he could handle, yet.

Keeping his touch light, Izzy placed a hand in his stomach, unable to help a smile at his small gasp, and gently dug his fingers in, scratching at him through the cloth.

At his deep breath, Izzy's eyes flitted back up to Stede's face, taking in his widening smile, perhaps brighter than he'd ever seen it before, as a giggle erupted from his lips, more pushing through in a steady stream of laughter as Izzy brought his other hand up to squeeze Stede's sides.

"Pretty sensitive, aren't you, Bonnet?"

"I suhuhppohose!" He huffed out, hands clenching and unclenching in his lap, trying to stay still for Izzy.

"I wonder where else…" he hummed, fingers dragging up towards his ribs, lightly pinching the crevices as Stede huffed. He was less ticklish there, but it was worth it to see the way his eyes crinkled, squeezing shut with a whine at Izzy's relentless pokes and prods to the area.

He continued exploring, marveling at how his armpits made Stede shoot his arms down, his resolve not to impede Izzy crumbling at the overwhelming sensations, while his neck made him scrunch up, looking oddly reminiscent of a turtle. Even his ears were ticklish, and quite sensitive to gentle scratches and traces, even more so when Izzy blew gentle puffs of air on them, making him squeal.

But his knees were probably his favorite spot. If only for the fact that when he squeezed it, the most adorably obnoxious snort burst from Stede, forcing him to bury his face in Izzy's shoulder in shame, while the other desperately tried and succeeded to produce the noise again.

Gentle tickling seemed to get to him worse, if the way he shrieked when Izzy's nails glided against the backs of knees were anything to go off of. Even if it only produced quieter giggles compared to the full-bellied laughter Izzy knew he could force, it was better for watching Stede, seeing the miniscule changes in his expression, in his voice, and for allowing Stede to focus on Izzy's occasional teasing.

"Still having fun, Bonnet?"

"Of… cohohuhurse!" He exclaimed, a tired sheen to his eye at how long it'd been, but his joy was much more prominent.

Izzy opened his mouth but quickly snapped it shut, head swiveling around at the sound of the door opening,only to find Ed standing there, a confused grin hanging on his face.

"Is this what you two are always doing in here?" He laughed, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him.

"Ed!" Stede breathed out, face brightening again at the sight of his as he sat up straight, trying to smooth out his clothes, his hair, all while keeping his eyes locked on his partner.

Izzy stood up, taking a step away from Stede as his gaze flickered between the two. Would Ed mind him touching Stede like this? Stede had said it was fine, but he wouldn't want to overstep more than he already had, wouldn't want to take anything more from Ed.

"Well come on, mate," Ed faced Izzy, smile shifting into something devious as he walked closer, "why stop now?"

"You… don't mind?" He couldn't help asking, still not sure how he fit into a situation like this.

"Stede, you mind?"

"Nahat at all… I was just showing Izzy how fun tickling could be. He was much better than I would've thought!"

"Is that so?" Ed smiled, walking past Izzy to sit down next to Stede. "Think he's shown you enough yet, Iz?"

"Not quite. I think he still has a bit more to show us," he sat down on the other side of Stede, accepting Ed's acceptance of his role there. If it didn't bother Ed, then he wouldn't let it bother him anymore, even if he was sure everything between them wasn't exactly resolved yet.

Stede laughed nervously, glancing between them, "What else is it you want to see?"

"Mostly…" Ed hummed, grabbing one of his arms to wrench it above his head, waiting for Stede's nod of approval before digging into his underarm, "to see you laugh your ass off."

"Ehehehed!" He cackled, helplessly flailing, and Izzy took that as his cue, bringing his hands back down to squeeze at his thighs and knees.

If Ed wanted to push him, he could do that. And, judging from looking at them, Izzy guessed this wasn't the first time something like this had transpired between Ed and Stede. He only wondered if Stede had realized how awfully ticklish Ed was too, a secret Izzy had long since learned and guarded, but didn't seem inappropriate to reveal later, after they'd finished with Stede.

"Ihihizzy!"

"C'mon Stede, you keep saying our names like that. Just spit it out. What's on your mind?" Ed cooed, lightening up on his tickling to give him a moment to breathe.

"Ihihit's a lohot," he panted, grinning from ear to ear, "buhut it's fuhuhun."

"'Course it is. We're just getting started," Ed purred, delighting in how Stede's flush grew at his words, heart skipping a beat.

Izzy watched Ed kiss Stede's forehead, an uncomfortable pang shooting through him, until Ed turned back to him with a grin and wink, and together they resumed tickling Ed to bits.

"Good time, love?" Ed smiled afterwards, helping Stede to his bed.

"Yes, it was all quite lovely," he sighed dreamily, pulling him into a quick kiss. "But I do like it more when you're the one under me."

Ed reddened at that, laughing away his nerves as he glanced back at Izzy, who was awkwardly trailing towards the door.

"Where are you going, mate?"

"I thought it was time to excuse myself," he cleared his throat, averting his eyes.

"No, no. Come here," Stede beckoned, and Izzy supposed he never really could say no to him that easily, certainly not now, so he swallowed and stepped closer and closer until he was standing by Stede's bedside.

Stede took a breath, reaching out for him, cupping his face, bringing his own closer, as he whispered, "May I?"

Izzy's eyes flickered to Ed's face, seeing only a smile and the slightest nod, not a hint of jealousy or resentment to be found. And so, he allowed himself to once again indulge in the luxuries that came along with Stede Bonnet, closing the distance between them to capture his lips in a gentle kiss.

Stede beamed at him when they pulled back, and he could only wonder if his face was as hot as it felt, practically petrified until Ed grabbed his hand, tugging him forward. "Come on, Iz. Get comfortable," he said, shrugging off his own leather jacket and slipping off his boots before he slid into bed beside Stede.

Even Stede's large bed was a bit cramped with the three of them, but Izzy thought it may have just been the best sleep he'd ever had.

It was only affirmed by what he considered the best morning of his life as he woke up in the early hours, watching the sun stream in through Stede's windows, illuminating the two beside him that made it all feel so divine.

A faint breeze blew in, the cold weather penetrating the peace of their haven as he curled further into bed, into Ed and Stede, suddenly reminded on what day it was. As he stared at them, he could only smile, feeling at peace. He didn't know what the future would hold, but as long as he had them, he could feel secure and welcome the new year, whatever it brought.

#my writing #squealing santa 2k23 #tickling #tickle fic #ofmd #ofmd tickle #stede bonnet #ed teach #izzy hands #blackbeard #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #steddyhands #lee!stede #ler!izzy #ler!ed

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pumpkin-boylord · 1 year

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Im finishing OFMD s1 and I can't stop thinking about Ed's character so I need to write it down.

I love how complicated his persona is, it's that kind of crazy that you don't know what he could do since he also doesn't know! But his energy, his anger, his erratic character is all because of trauma and I know this is obvius but I love to analize it and how deep it actually is.

When we think about his trauma we may just think that since he lived a horrible life he is now an angry horrible man but it's MUCH MORE than just that!

We know really little and a lot at the same time about his past and his traumas; we know he comes from a really poor family with a lovely but weak mother and an alcoholic abusive father, traumas that still haunts him and are so deep that they cause flashback as we see in the serie.

So he had a childhood without an education, full of neglet and abuse, costantly being told horrible things, being mentally and phisically abused by his own father and not being protected by his mother who was a victim as well; all of this was so bad that it drive him to the point of killing his own father in a moment where he wasn't even lucid, the abuse was so radicated in him that he belived he was the monster in this situation and also it led to other beliefs that he still carries with him such as:

-if things are bad they will always be bad (such as his abuse, as his flaws or as their economic status, her mother telling him about the fact that those rich fabrics they could only touch as they will always be poor)

-he is and will always be the monster, the weak, the one in the wrong

-he deserve to suffer, to be abused and to be punished (by the constant neglet and hate he recived by his father for years).

So this lead to everything that Blackbeard is now and what he is surrounded by, for example Izzy.

We see that Izzy is scared of Edward as he knows of his erratic manners but Izzy is also the one in controll.

We see him command Blackbeard and yell at him whenever he does something that he doesn't like or he define it's not "what/how Blackbeard shouldo do/be".

Izzy is in his way abusive and controlling Edward who, in those moments (at least if Stede isn't involved), will accept this treatment as he deserves it and will stay by Izzy's side creating a really contorted Captain-Right Hand relationship that is often inverted or broken.

This is because Ed is so used of his past abuse that he thinks that he deserves it and he goes around searching (like a lot of victims do) for someone that will treat him like his father did.

Even if he is Blackbeard, the Captain, the Leader, he still accept the abuse.

But why does Blackbeard act like a monster if he hates it? (Other than Izzy)

Because he is starved of attention and love and he NEVER had controll, the only time he did was when he killed his father.

He quickly learned that those actions were praised in the Pirate's community and we can see when CJ is around that he will change and acts out to be accepted and appreciated even though he isn't really like that but he belives that's the only way he'll ever recive "love".

Or it was, untill he met Stede Bonnet; the smallest ammount of affection, sweetness, innocence was enough for Blackbeard to crumble to the ground and Edward to comes out of his "Kraken"s shell.

This is because Blackbeard entire personality is based on traumas and starving of affection, as he taste it he start to opens up, to expirience new things (he was even tired and bored of his life because it wasn't his own, to the point where he said "that's a good idea, death, I never tried it, we should try it" and he searched for a way out) .

Unfortunately, as most of victims of abuse, Edward became easely attached and dependent from Stede who was now his new source of EVERYTHING (joy, calm, peace, stability, personality, safe space etc etc.)

To end this reflection, so what does Edward Teach really needs?

Other than a psychiatrist? Love, just love, he would need to quit his piracy life, quit his persona, go low and have lots and lost of affection.

He isn't a monster, a villain, a bad person or anything like that, he is broken and hurt, he most likely suffer from PTSD and a personality disorder and just need some peace and affection and Stede was that for him.

(please I need them to be happy in season two-)

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mysteriouslybluepirate · 1 year

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Live Blog/My thoughts scene for scene ish for OFMD S2 Episodes 1-3

FULL SPOILERS FOR S2 EPS 1-3. Including a post credit scene for Episode 3 that includes a teaser for the episodes 4-5 and discussing scenes we haven't seen from the trailer.

My long form stuff usually gets seen by people outside of my circle so before this long post I want to preface with this-

Hi! Izzy is my favorite character. As of right now I have written just under 240k words about this guy and spent most of my time in this fandom in Izzy spaces. If that is a problem for you, this might not be the read.

But I got fed a 5 star meal and already see this season is a love letter to the fans and I am here to appreciate it.

Please be warned. I personally think this season should have a warning on it for how it handles suicide, suicidal ideation, substance use and relationship abuse. I will be going in depth on this but handle it with respect as someone whose lived shit like this.

My first watch was without subtitles and on a big old tv screen. I I decided to miss a few things my first watch, choosing to turn off subtitles, and get surprised by dialogue and delivery(as I tend to read ahead). This watch is to confirm lines, appreciate delivery, and more.

I have not read any meta, and this is blind before I see how all my mutuals freak out!!!!

Lines that fucked me up will be bolded. Just know I want to write an essay about them, and would given the chance. (sorry for spelling errors I watched this twice + stayed up for an extra 10 hours😅)

EPISODE 1:

I liked the recap, but I don’t think it’s enough for casual viewers who watched it maybe once ALSO. That Edit of Izzy’s ‘namby-pamby crying for his boyfriend’ IMMEDIATELY into the Toe Scene got a laugh out of me, because OWW. How had we not thought of that?

I LOVE THE DREAM SCENE. Izzy beating him fair and square, but still losing. The stab in the killing side? THE MELODRAMA. The way this confirms Stede sees Izzy as a ‘big bad’ he needs to defeat to ‘win’ Ed. Him having the most 1 dimensional view of both him, Ed, and Izzy. A view how Stede is still an idiot unable to see nuance in people. Izzy smiling? The way he mutters his last words> God I love Con O’Neill. Let’s watch him maybe die 8 separate times and call it a season.

It also got a good laugh out of me. Did I predict that that it was a dream when the teaser came out? Yeah. Still funny as shit.

‘Can’t be worse than you moaning Ed, Oh Ed’ FUNNY AS SHIT.

I liked the ‘customer service’ montage. Swede, you deserve all the love you get. You are in good hands. I think Stede’s part of this episode was just to lighten the rest of it. Hello to an antagonist of this season, and narrative foil to Stede, Prince Ricky.

I know it doesn’t matter who did Ed’s back tattoo, but the irony of Ed trusting someone enough to get it done is just funny.

(Wedding Scene) I SQUEALED WHEN WE GOT THE RETURN OF ED’S EVIL THEME. Also, calling his crew the devils ‘kids’ is so fucking funny. HELLO CLASSIC ROCK IVE NEVER HEARD OF??? Welcome to the OFMD playlist. I love the montage of ‘Ed is working everyone to death’. Izzy got to threaten an English sailor. I know he’s happy with that.

Yes. The wedding thing was absolutely over the line. RIP Ivan, you will be missed. I can’t wait for Frenchie to break down, and congrats to all the people who wrote Frenchie as emotionally distant, you’ve won!

THE WAY IZZY SOUNDS SO TIRED ‘Yeah. They got cake.’ ALSO. Did I miss the knife throwing scene?? Was that just for the trailer? I think it was in a past edit and they removed it.

‘Can’t do the job? Someone else will’ (Ed to Izzy)- Izzy felt that he mattered to Ed. This one line reframes their entire relationship. This fucks Izzy up. I theorize as the main reason Izzy never did anything was because Ed was his captain. But they were still friends. Close. Trusted partners. But Izzy is still expendable. Even after all this time. He is nothing. Maybe he knows Ed is doing this so he rebels, and kills him, but maybe he doesn't. Izzy cares about loyalty... we'll see.

Yes. The Izzy scene hurts. But after watching Ep 2, this is nothing.

‘It is your job to-to follow my fucking orders’ (Izzy to crew) THIS IS NOT HOW I THOUGHT THIS LINE WOULD BE USED. Because he knows. He knows he’s fucked, and he’s struggling to accept the fact that he’s looking down the loaded barrel. He knows that he can’t make these people listen to him, not any more. He’s alone, and now the one thing he can do(be Ed’s first mate) is about to be stripped from him. Hell, it already is.

Spanish Jackie. I love you. I love you so much. Extort those fuckers. Semi clean water and education is a big deal! Also, this season overall is a HUGE win for my fellow Pete fans. Funny bastard.

I have thoughts about Prince boy, but they can wait until he does something.

Stede’s flaw has always been his naivety, habit of judging once and never really questioning it, and his ego. Prince is able to take advantage of it. I don’t trust him. I think he’s a spy. I also like thinking Spanish Jackie is collecting husbands to certain tasks like it’s Pokémon. Need a bartender? Customer service husband. The books? Math husband. New Swedish husband? Masseuse.

HI IZZY ED SCENE ----

‘Because it’s fuckin’ treasure.’ Izzy. Izzy I fucking love you. God. The way he stiffens up. Knowing them not following orders means he will lose a toe. Fucking god.

This to me confirms that Ed really wants to get Izzy to kill him in in ep 1. He will tear down every good memory they have just to get Izzy to give in. He doesn’t care about their past, he just wants to die. Izzy is a convenient violent punching bag because he can’t leave. He knows fully well that this crew doesn’t listen, and blames Izzy for a fact he can’t change. It’s fucked that he's shoving Izzy into this corner but he doesn't think there will be consequences.

Honestly. I think Izzy knows his partner is at this edge, but he can’t do anything. This is why he gets the guts to talk back. Both here and later in front of the crew(more in a second).

The ‘you know me better than anyone has ever known me’ (Izzy to Ed) line kills me. Because it’s honest. For the rest of these episodes Izzy is so fucking honest It hurts. He can’t lie. Not to himself, not anymore. Not to Edward or the crews. He can't take advantage of any situation, or turn the tables. All he has is his words. He knows this, and yet here he is. Facing this abuse, and trying, because he wants to fix it. But he knows he’s not enough to snap Ed out.

‘I have love for you’ (Izzy to Ed in cabin)Present tense…fucking hell. Izzy tries to pull Ed out by showing his soft center, and we can tell from Ed’s dismissive reaction that he already knows all this. But Ed isn’t talking. Izzy can’t read minds, he wants to help. I know he felt adrenaline spring through him after the confession, and with loose lips, he says just the wrong thing. HI MICROEXPRESSIONS ON CON. FUCKING AHH

‘Hang on Ed- Captain.’ (Izzy to Ed as Ed is marching out to the crew)OW. OUCH. OOF??? IZZY PANICING???? Trying to stop this???

The look on Izzy’s face when Ed holds the gun to himself is not shocked. Hurt, and he immediately closes himself off, like he genuinely thinks Ed would do it. That’s what hurts. Also, I don’t know if hes doing a high pitch voice to imitate Izzy, but that’s my view of it.

‘PACK IT IN' (Screamed by Izzy to Ed) THATS MY MAN!!! Stand up to Ed being shitty! GOD. Frenchie’s little head shake. Trying to warn Izzy, to tell him no :((((. But Izzy doesn’t care. He knows he’s not got too long left, so he might as well chew Ed out, to say the things everyone is thinking but are too scared to say. God, the way Ed teases the answer in front of everyone. -Say his name and I will shoot- sitting right there in his eyes, and Izzy GRINS and he says ‘Stede fuckin’ Bonnet’ and that is finally enough of an excuse for Ed to shoot.

Look at the way Ed nods his head as Izzy says it, not even letting Izzy finish before saying it. He's done. All the other performative versions of violence, of being Blackbeard he does, I see a reason to say 'he's doing this as self hurt' but Idk. It feels like he wanted to, and now he can. So he does. The way everyone reacts hurts me. The way Ed steps over him, the way Ed pushes Frenchie into Izzy’s job.

I know many fans, and myself before the show aired, thought the leg shooting would be too much. In all honesty. This is how I’d want it written. This entire episode has showcased Edward’s grown resentment to his friend mixed with self destructive impulses. Some might view this as being too much, but given episode 2, this is such a big fucking moment I can’t even comprehend it right now.

Do I think Izzy’s love confession pushed Ed to this panic- ESPECIALLY after his last confession ended in Stede running away? Maybe. But I think Ed was mentally in a place where he couldn’t react with anything BUT dread. Thus making the Stede call back even worse. But I don’t know.

That’s one end of the spectrum of how this scene can be interpreted (Ed shooting Izzy’s leg felt unjustified/uncalled for at this point in the story) now lets turn it around (The ‘Izzy deserved it’ fuck heads)

Lets be 100% clear here.

I view Izzy turning the crew to the English was a catylist, BUT not a cause for them getting captured. Stede was wanted for murder, and would have gotten caught eventually. Hell, the fact Blackbeard was on the ship in S1 was a lucky guess that Chauncy was happy to take advantage of, that IZZY HAD TO SIGN THE ACT OF GRACE to get Ed out of.

Can Ed hold Izzy responsible instead of taking accountability for his own actions? Yes. This episode shows that’s basically how he sees it. But we as fans are basically shown 5 different ways to view Izzy as sympathetic here.

Now: Moving back into the episode (after 500 words of that…damn)--------------

Ricky is so dumb…. I don’t know if I love it or not.

I love ‘Susan’ (Zheng Yi Sao) but have some thoughts. I enjoy her, the way she holds herself like Ed did in episode 3, drawing that parallel. That and her Izzy narrative mirror of a first mate. Also, I hope the Swede and Spanish Jackie have a lovely season. I love them so much.

(Yes! I got to inform the family of the history of the Queen of Pirates. I love what I do. )

One of my favorite crew scenes: Jim and Fang failing to correctly remember the story. I LOVE IT. I agree Archie, Jim trying to help Fang feel better is so fucking GOOD. Mixing the legend of the Monkey’s paw and Pinochio while cleaning up Izzy’s blood is so fucking…much.

Hi another song I have never heard of??? (The whistle one, you will be going to the Ed Izzy divorce playlist)

Ed is pulling a Stede. Running away from every problem forgetting they dont exist. The second something tries to change he snaps. It hurts looking at Frenchie clearly trying to balance his family and Edward’s lack of empathy. I fucking love this episode, and think it’s up there for my favorites. This is a trend that will continue.

EPISODE TWO:

Maybe my favorite piece of writing in ages. Can I just say they are Fucking WILD to call the Izzy/Ed episode ‘Red Flags’????? BECAUSE DEAR GOD

I watched the recap. It’s like, 3 scenes of stede, with Izzy geting shot and the final scene of Zheng Yi Sao.

Classical song in opening: Etude No. 1, Op, 25. Going into the writing playlist.

Buttons sleeping with his feet up, maybe to be close to the sea?

Now. I am going to use this moment to discuss a large criticism I have. The cutaways to scenes from S1. Now, do they feel fast, and awkward, yes. Should the writers trust their audience to tie the call back together? Yes. But for a casual audience I think these scenes are VERY necessary if you haven’t watched the show. I think they should be taken out, but I get why they’re there.

‘Run From Me’ by Timber timbre THIS IS A FUCKING ED/IZZY SONG IN THE SHOW?!?!??!. WE DID IT. WE GOT 1! I don’t see any way how you could tie this is Ed/Stede. A song about the fear of hurting others and needing to always push people away. After last episode??? I fucking… I teared up on rewatch, because FUCK. It’s a scene with Ed playing with the dolls, but Izzy’s presence is right THERE.

OMG OMG OMG- A PIRATE SHIP IS USING THE BELLS SYSTEM TO KEEP TRACK OF SHIFTS????? (Kind of? Not really? She just rang a bell. But just give me this).

Wee john & Buttons, I love you. ‘YES QUEEN!’ I CACKLED! I love the mispronouncing ‘China’ gag.

‘I decided to take a chance on you…because’ Because they’re allies. Stede taking ‘soft’ as a compliment gives me life.

LUCIUS!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE THEM!!! THE ‘OH MY GOD’ CALLBACK!!! THE HAPPY CREW SONG RETURNING??

I love that Stede is immediately like-*the vibes are off. What happened to my boy.* as soon as he sees him

Can I also say, I love that when we transition over to the Revenge, we see it from the front, sailing into frame. It’s such a good shot.

I love that Ed is obviously in a manic period, FUCK. WHAT IF HE WAS CRYING OVER KILLING IZZY??? He wouldn't…but other than that, I can’t see specifically what he was crying about.

‘No more booze, no more drugs, and more importantly, no more Izzy’ WHEN I TELL YOU I GASPED WHEN IT WAS REVEALED IZZY WAS KILLED THE FIRST TIME. God. Not by Ed, because Ed would never, but by FRENCHIE. No wonder they had to edit ‘Stede’ over that in the trailer…

‘The new first mate always kills the old first mate’ - Okay, this bugs me. It’s not that the first mate is killed because ‘it’s law’. First mates were usually picked by their captain, but the Captain was democratically chosen. The first mate is loyal to the captain, as that is their job. The reason the first mate was killed when replaced was because the new Captain feared the old first mate could start a mutiny, and use the friendships built against a new person in power-

OH SHIT. DOES THIS MEANS ED KNEW IZZY WOULD MUTINY???? SO HE ORDERED FRENCHIE TO KILL HIM??

HOLY FUCK! :0

EDWARD YOU CONNIVING LITTLE BASTARD!!!!!

Hi secret passage :) To all the authors who also wrote them as tiny little hallways in the walls, rip. How did no one notice an extra room.

IZZY!!!! MY BOI

God, Izzy just knowing he’s fucked, and wanting to die now before Ed finds out is so fucking GOOD. ‘We just had him asleep’ JIM he’s a 50 year old man fading in and out of sleep due to an infection, not a toddler. I love that Izzy is just…so done. He didn’t expect the crew to help him out 🙁

HELLO OTHER SCENE IN THIS EPISODE I DIDN’T EXPECT TO LOVE-

God. I think my problem with Lucius in fanon was that he was always treated like he was above it all. The therapist. The loving partner. The jokester. But he has actual depth and Nathan is a brillian actor.

Hi Buttons being a sea god. I love that I wrote him as being creature adjacent ages ago. Bro can read Chinese AND got a fun magical ability. I can’t wait for that to pay off.

THE OTHER SCENE I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT. Pissed off Ed being so fucking cheery when confronting Frenchy is so unnerving. Ed isn’t dumb. He knows. He knows the moment he caught Frenchie with that box that he was helping keep Izzy alive but he needed it confirmed. Which Frenchie did.

(This is the point where my bro woke up so I rewatched everything with him)

Dear god. CAN WE CLEAN IZZY? Bandage that leg? ANYTHING?

‘But he’s out dick’ (Jim to Archie about Izzy and why they want to keep him alive) FUCK YEAHHHH!!! I love it, but can we not do this in front of a passed out Izzy?

Oh, the way my gut dropped the first time I saw Ed on the stairway of the secret room. Keep that man away from him.

GOD THE WAY I FUCKING GROANED WHEN OLU MOVED THE SHIPS ON THAT MAP. I am so happy the show is portraying how a flagship of a fleet works!!!

Lucius smocking to relieve stress and sooth his anxiety. All that to not think about what's happened. THAT and Pete being the ‘softer’ partner, gives me life.

Izzy/Ed scene in the hidden room.

HI IZZY! ‘Up in leg heaven’(Ed to Izzy) Does this line read like bad fic? Yes. Good think I write fic and think it's fucking hilarious.

I fucking CHERISH this scene-

‘I dreamt you killed me.’ ‘good for you’ (Ed to Izzy, Izzy to Ed)I FUCKING LOVE YOU IZZY- you are so tired of Ed's shit. I would put the entirety of this scene and every micro expression from Izzy if I could. ALSO ‘Eddie????’’ WHY- FUCKING- THAT WAS A FANFIC LINE AND IT'S MAKING ME SAD :0.

We are so getting a flashback next episode, aren't we? Even if we don't I'm so satisfied seeing the past closeness hinted at in these 3 episodes.

‘Clean up your own mess I’ve been doing it my whole life.’ I fucking LOVE HIM!! Even when he's suffering through an infection he won't let Ed walk all over him. Then Ed gives him his gun. LITERALLY TELLING IZZY TO STILL CLEAN UP THE MESS.

‘I loved you…best I could.’ OH FUCK> OH FUCK!!!!! How did I MISS THAT ON MY FIRST RUN? IZZY/ED CONFIRMED???? THE FUCK???? ED ADMITS THAT HE FUCKING LOVED HIM!!! FUCKING KILL ME. ALSO PAST TENSE! That better be because he thinks Izzy is dead and not that he doesn't love him anymore :(((

I loved Stede mentoring Lucius in talking btw.

‘Save the rest for Pete’ (Stede to Lucius) Aw. Stede can’t be the therapist. I also love that Pete got freaked out. It makes me happy.

I love this whole pre-storm scene. The way we can see Ed adjusting the canon into the mast to blow it down. The general storm vibes. The tension. The way it reads like the fuckery scene in ep 4 with the storm. Ed being steps ahead. But instead of Ed doing something clever he's doing something self destructive.

‘Run From Me’ start playing in the background up again when Lucius' line about being broken and learning to cope. LEADING RIGHT INTO THE STORM SCENE- AHHHH.

The way JIM STOPS ARCHIE FROM FIGHTING. Literally replicating their arc from S1.

THE WAY IZZY SHOOTS ED TO PROTECT THE CREW FROM ED LITGHTING THE CANON WICK. THE FUCKING PAN UP REVEALING IZZY IS ALIVE AND *EMPTY*

‘YOU INDESTRUCTIBLE LITTLE FUCKER’ (Ed to Izzy) THESE TWO I SWEAR TO CHRIST!

GET ‘EM FANG! PROTECT IZZY

God I fucking love this episode. So fucking much. The fact Ed/Izzy divorce has multiple suicide attempts built in makes me feel things. I wouldn’t expect anything else.

==============================================

EPISODE 3

‘I know, it’s been a day!’ (Zheng Yi Sao to Shadow guy)

I love the scene of her bargaining with the guy and think Zheng Yi Sao is going to build a pirate army to take over the Republic. She’s already taken over China. This is just for pride.

GOD I love the scene of Stede going through the ship. Mainly because it lets us see the hallway, and tells me more of the Ship's anatomy but that's not the point.

I don't know how the Crew survived the storm, but DAMN. I'm so proud of all of them working together. We were all right to write fic like that.

Izzy just casually being devalued by Stede and how he just IMMEDIATELY looks to Frenchie. OW. FUCKING OW. Also the way Izzy said 'Bonnet' at the start of this scene makes me so happy.

I ZONED OUT A BIT- FORGOT TO WRITE

Now we’re at the scene of Stede cleaning up the knives. Leading into Izzy and Stede bitching. I love this scene mirroring the one where Izzy tells Stede to ‘plumb the depths’. Because it’s a moment where Izzy tries to be honest to Stede, but it doesn’t work. I FUCKING LOVE THIS SCENE SO MUCH. Izzy holding his tongue just a bit trying to warn Stede. A person he is actively jealous of. Hell, he even takes accountability for his actions. He even tells Izzy a half truth that they didn’t kill Ed.

IZZY IS FUCKING TRYING. BUT STEDE IS TOO STUBORN!!!! Why does Izzy always need to be the voice of reason, it’s bad for him :( He needs someone to treat him seriously.

I love that Hornigold has all of Ed’s mannerisms from the start. That and all of Hornigolds memories are what Ed remembers about the things he hated about the man (the crab thing)

Is it sad that Ed is excited to live a normal life, but his gut(Hornigold) tells him not to be so naïve? Yeah. But I’m mad at him, so give me a day.

I love Izzy in the jail scene. ALSO WHY IS FRENCHY LEANING THAT CLOSE TO IZZY-HELLO?? Izzy crying, closing his eyes. Not able to keep Ed safe because he still tried SO HARD to keep his body semi stable. They think he’s probably dead, and Izzy still keeps his corpse safe. EVEN AFTER ANYTHING. HE STILL LOVES HIM! :D D:

This is where the Pirate Queen isn’t fun anymore for me. I liked her, but then she threatened Olu if he said no?? I don’t like it! Especially as it seems Olu didn't get the hint.

The escape overall is very fucking sweet. Especially Izzy shushing people. I makes me happy :)- Also Buttons being a good first mate and giving orders as soon as they touch deck.

I’M SORRY- IZZY THNAKING STEDE I saw it the first time, and freaked out, but the second?? DEAR GOD! I fucking love him. Give this man a hug.

Also! I think the Mermaid scene is my 'Ohh Daddy' from S1. It’s a bit.. .much, I like the metaphor a lot. Eh. I don't know. I think they should have blured out Stede's face a bit with water. Reveal it's REALLY Stede when he gets closer. Hide the budget a but more or do a far away shot vs up close. Pretty but just a bit off.

ALSO: IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THE Ep 3 POST CREDIT SCENE DO-AS I’M SPOILING IT. As a person who is writing a ‘cured object’ thing for this fandom… watch this undo like, 40k of my own words. Please let Izzy be a bit of a skeptic but he generally follows the vibes cause ‘legends’ ALSO murder lesbians!! ALSO IZZY/STEDE woops, sorry, IZZY & STEDE FRIENDSHIP ARC!!!

SO FINAL THOUGHTS:

Things I didn’t like:

Dislike how we glosses over the discussion of a poly/open relationship for Oluwande and Jim. They both thought eachother were dead, so it doesn’t give me the ick as I bet some will. But the way Jim joked about it still felt wrong.

Glossing over Lucius’ trauma a bit with the puppet joke. I found it a bit in poor taste.

The fact Izzy is on the episode ‘cover’ for episode 3 on Max, revealing he didn’t kill himself in ep2. I forgot about it midway in, but remembered it on rewatch. Like? IDK

The lack of content warnings, I get it, but damn the suicidal ideation stuff +mania episode+ abuse hit hard.

It went by a bit quick, but they wrote themselves in a corner. The slow building dread of Ed being a dick, vs Stede just working at Jackie's to get money. So they started when everything was falling apart. AND they need to get The Queen and the Prince established. Judging by the next few episodes, hopefully it will slow down. I prefer this to skipping those things, obviously. But I was much more interested in Ed’s side of the story than Stede's.

Things I do like/Standouts:

Hi Con O’Neill. Can you start paying rent the way you live in my head? Seriously, every scene Izzy is in he steals it. I assume people are a bit peeved that Izzy is getting more attention than Olu&Frenchie&Jim & whatever other character a person likes. But I really think they sewed it in well. Seriously, it’s heartbreaking, and everything I could have asked for. I Love Every Delivery. I see these episodes as enough to turn people slightly sympathetic if they were haters of Izzy before.

ALSO: IZZY SAVING THE CREW. Putting himself in danger FIRST so he doesn't hurt anyone? Jim immediately seeing this and trusting him in the future. I can’t wait to see friendship bloom between him and the crew. That and Izzy's own self destructive habits get broken down as he learns to respect himself outside of hierarchy and Ed. Yes, even like this I want to fuck that man.

Stede- I enjoy that he seems more comfortable with the crew. Especially Pete and Buttons. I don’t have much to say, but I hope this new Izzy training episode means he’ll learn to trust Izzy. Not too much to say, but that's a good thing! Here soon instead of Ed being the focus of the 'deal with this' stick it will go to Stede 'I'm the captain :(' Bonnet

BUTTONS OH MY GOD- My favorite head canon became canon babes!!! I love it. I’m here for it. He's having a lovely time.

ALSO FRENCHIE!!! Hi babes! I missed you being a clever badass! I'm happy Ed didn't stab you.

Them taking Ed’s issues seriously. We got hints of addiction/abusive behavior last season, but they took that and ran with it. Add that to self destrictive behavior that scales up with every scene. Plus the one line from Lucius about how some people can’t be fixed…good stuff, I like how we're handling mental health. I’m not happy with him, but we have time. Taika clearly had fun. I also see myself in his mania and self-sabotaging behavior (non violent, but still wish washy moods for my part)

That and Izzy/Ed being what it is… I believe that Ed genuinely loves Izzy the only way he can, but it’s not enough. He can’t love Izzy the way he needs. Ed needs to apologize, obviously. I won’t be able to forgive him ‘till then. I don’t think Izzy should until he’s able to pull away from him a bit.

Let's just say I can't wait till next week when we get lesbians and one of my favorite tropes.

(@ing mutuals I know have seen it that I would love to yell with @gydima @born-on-a-beach-teach @treesofgreen BUT do feel free to shout down below!!!)

#izzy hands #edward teach #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 ep 1 #ofmd s2 ep 2 #ofmd s2 ep 3 #our flag means death season 2 #I have a lot of feelings man #I can't wait to see what everyone thinks

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avastyetwats · 7 months

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Dearest Izzy,

I saw you wearing the ribbon today. I hope this letter got to you quickly, so you didn’t think I abandoned you.

I should confess that Captain Bonnet is writing these letters for me. I don’t know how to write, so he’s taking everything down for me.

Izzy, I wish you had someone in your life who was as devoted to you as you are devoted to others. You deserve to have someone treat you that way, the way you treat people YOU love. And not just people, everything in your life.

I don’t know that you’d actually like me at all. I’m much younger than you. I’m not the kind of person people notice. The nicest thing anyone here has ever said about me is that I was an “original character,” whatever that means. Frankly, I think you’d find me annoying. But oh, how I could listen to *you* talk all day.

Shall we set up a meeting?

-Y.S.A.

Stede Fuckin’ Bonnet.

Of course he was the one writing these letters. Izzy had begun to wonder if perhaps - based on how romantically written the first letter was - Bonnet had somehow been a part of it. Though, now knowing that piece of information, it was surprising that he was managing to keep it a secret. He was even acting normal anytime he came around Izzy, giving nothing away. But he wondered if that would change now given that he wrote this letter so he’d obviously know that his name was mentioned - that it was revealed he was the one writing these letters, but not the one that felt so strongly for him. Not the one that called Izzy beautiful, Kind and devoted. That told him he deserved to be loved the way he loved.

Gods, who was behind these letters!?

‘I’m much younger than you.’

Another hint. The list was shortening. It wasn’t Stede because he was writing the letters (unless it was to throw Izzy’s suspicions off), but he wasn’t much younger than him. He was also out on deck all the time and apparently this person was not. He was barely noticed? Who from the crew spent most of their time below deck… It was beginning to drive him mad trying to figure this out, though there was the offer of meeting to be considered now. Something Izzy was really considering even though a part of him wanted to try and figure it out first. But it was maddening and he didn’t want to go on too long with it… so, he sought out Stede.

Actually, he waited until he was alone in his quarters. Then he found him, confronted him, and asked him to write to his secret admirer with a response, agreeing to meet. Fuckin’ Bonnet and his Fuckin’ smile. He was having fun with this, he was smiling, excited for Izzy and more so, excited to be part of it. Izzy almost wanted to smack that smirk off of his face, but he was just helping whoever it was that requested his help. And Izzy was impressed Bonnet didn't out the name of his secret admirer, not even when Izzy threatened him. An empty threat, of course, and even Bonnet knew that. Besides, it was a little more fun this way, even if it was starting to drive Izzy mad.

He thinks about having Bonnet write a letter in return, but that wasn't really Izzy's style and it wasn't like it was a secret on his end.

"Shall I tell them you'll meet?" Bonnet questions with an excited look in his eyes as though he's reading one of his books, left on a cliffhanger.

Izzy sighs. Bonnet is enjoying this a little too much and he just hope the twat doesn't keep this going for his own amusement. Izzy wouldn't put it passed him, though. "Yeah, and don't even think about stallin', Bonnet."

Bonnet huffs. "But this is fun, Izzy! I've never done anything like this before."

"Bonnet." He doesn't need to make a verbal threat. It's in his eyes this time and Stede frowns.

"Oh, fine. I'll tell them." He huffs in disappointment, but deep down, he's still excited. He doesn't know how Izzy feels about this person, but he does believe Izzy deserves to know that he's appreciated and loved.

One step closer to unraveling this mystery, Izzy thinks. Though, he's far more nervous now...

#anon #it's driving izzy mad and me mad omg xD #is it a mutual? a new follower?#WHO IS IT #possibly on sided? 👀#and if so I apologize in advanced xD #but it’s still fun #c; izzy hands

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onesweetworld18 · 3 years

Text

The new slew of Yachtgate photos had me thinking, which crew members from Below Deck would I want serving and being deckhands on the boat. I’ve come to two conclusions: one for a Yachtgate and one for Louis and Harry if they go on their own.

Yachtgate:

Chief Stew: Kate- because obviously. She could be professional, but still would give Harry the “I know why you’re here” side convo.

Second Stew: Josiah- because I think Harry would absolutely flirt back with him.

Third Stew: Ashling- She was great at everything and I think she would bring levity to the snark of the others.

Chef: Leon- Hear me out…Harry is the only person left on the planet who would still appreciate the beef cheeks as a pun.

Lead Deckhand: Malia- because it feels like the misery on the boat is up her alley

Deckhands: Rhylee- mostly because I want to see her and Malia together.

Bobby- because I think he would occupy whoever Harry as on the boat with.

Captain: Sandy…obviously.

Harry and Louis vacation

Chief Stew: Kate- again, obviously because she’s the best and I think her and Louis would be HYSTERICAL together.

Second Stew: Izzy- she’s hysterical, life of the party, and good at her job.

Third Stew: Aesha: I think Harry would love her and her crass humor and puns

Chef: Ben- because they deserve only the best

Lead Deckhand: Eddie- he throws a good beach picnic, he works well with Kate (now) and he likes music!

Dead hand: Colin- He is the Fire Island ferry driver and is a great ally and good time.

Max: he was so funny! And was great with the guests. I think he would be fun with the crew.

And obviously the Captain would be Capt Lee because he’s the best.

I hope someone aside from me appreciates this incredibly niche post lol.

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funky-boat-zone · 3 years

Text

the lighthouse chronicles: part 10/10

big birthday bash

how often do sapient vehicles celebrate their birthdays anyway? depending on how they process time, having their birthday/build date celebration every year could get excessive/tiring.

in one episode, there’s a really loud audio glitch that scared the shit out of me the first time i heard it. the problem is that i can’t remember what episode it was, just that it happened in a scene involving zorran (because of course it did)

top hat’s voice sounds really off fsr

ffs otis, you’re a grown adult. quit being so pouty to the literal child who gave away the surprise by accident.

never thought i’d say this, but i genuinely feel really bad for ten cents here. he’s just a kid who just made a mistake, and what do top hat and otis (adults) do? top hat rats him out to sunshine, and otis acts all passive aggressive towards him.

and even sunshine gets mad at him and says that they may as well just cancel the party!

“it’s okay, you can throw me a surprise party another time” or you could at least pretend to be surprised and try to enjoy the party because it’s the mature thing to do, otis?

“what do you want me to do, sink myself?” “not a bad idea” hey sunshine, what the fuck

the other tugs (seemingly) only forgive him because captain star told them to

and so the party happens and all is well except for the fact that no one apologizes to ten cents for being so awful to him over an honest mistake

stop the music

it’s a whole episode of singing. help

and yes, this is the episode where zorran raps

i am going to outlaw the snugboat harbor song fest

grampus sinking into the water and going “blblblblbl” is a mood

zorran no. zorran please don’t do it, i know you’re evil or sth but-

i thought you were better than this, zorran

“do you want to be famous?” “you mean i’m not already?”

unfortunately, this episode is where i got my headcanon that top hat can sing. i sincerely apologize

grampus dismisses top hat’s singing when he’s the only boat who can remotely carry a tune

sunshine’s voice is at its absolute most grating in this scene jfc

“i’ll never be ready for the song fest :(” (triumphant music playing in the bg)

hooray, “work together” or something, no moral is worth a whole episode of singing

let’s wing it

oh no, vegetable puns

zak’s voice is almost as cursed as zip’s

i never want to hear zorran say “mayonnaise” in any context for any reason ever again

why do the boats know what salad dressing is?

big stack, quit singing

“wish i could help” i appreciate the sentiment izzy, but you are a steam tramper, not a tug, and your dream of helping with the ocean liner can never be

and so we end on a vegetable pun

no strings attached

another music-themed episode?? oh no

another log jam?

are tugboats an instrument?

no patrick, tugboats are not an instrument

coast guard boats are not an instrument either

top hat using his horn/whistle to play the first few notes of the theme song implies that he’s aware of the fourth wall

ten cents, don’t bother cappy. he has important coast guard stuff to do

dammit ten cents, you pulled a coast guard vessel away from his job. people could die

love how ten cents talks abt cappy’s whistle and cappy is represented by a completely different boat.

the rhyming brings up memories of miller-era thomas. and that’s not a compliment

the song sounds like sth out of an obscure 16-bit game that’s only remembered for one song and only because that song was used in a meme

guilty gull

how rich are salty’s parents to get him a working, driveable toy car for his birthday?

you know an episode’s gonna be interesting when it starts with zug getting blamed for something he says he didn’t do

again with the fire barge! i’m banning zip and zug from having any contact with fire barges unless it’s an emergency

do you think billy’s aware that the tugs only really talk to him when they need him for arson?

i think he is, and he’s cool about it. billy, you deserve better. get some friends who see you for more than your skill at arson

f in the chat for zug, the snugboat harbor scapegoat

i know that it’s just tradition to refer to ships as she/her, but in the context of this show it sounds like the stuck tanker is sapient and the tugs are going to destroy her anyway

sl!zug deserves better 2k21

bivalve blues

sunshine’s voice sounds really strained fsr

“wanna hear my new riddle?” “not now. bye” same, ten cents. same

sad boat hours

honestly ten cents has every right to be sad and upset after the events of “big birthday bash”

that’s not why he’s sad though, he’s upset bc he feels unappreciated or sth

a fire?? that escalated quickly, holy shit

love how bluenose is just sitting in the background with no one noticing/acknowledging him as ten cents takes the fuel barge

also that split second of bluenose twitching/shaking at the end

honestly i’m more interested in whatever the hell’s going on with him

i’m sad because they had to incorporate and re-dub that emotional ending scene from “munitions”

ten cents gets cheered up, the other tugs appreciate him, sunshine finally tells him her riddle, and bluenose is presumably scarred for life because this the last episode and we never see him again after this.

#the lighthouse chronicles #shitpost #ask to tag #reaction tag

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theycallmebeccawrites · 4 years

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Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 20

Hey lovelies! No, you aren’t imagining things... I really am updating this series. C&E have been on my mind a lot lately and I’m working hard to get this stuff out to you guys.. but bear with me. This story is only about half way finished...

Stay safe ♥ Becca

Shout out to my kick ass friends who helped me out with this one @nomadicpixel @heather-lynn @alievans007 @mrs-captain-evans

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Relationship drama

Episode Summary: This episode takes place in May 2014 as Ellie finally opens up to someone about what happened between her and Chris.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

This episode can also be read on AO3.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 19.5

Episode 20: Mending Fences

Mid May 2014

Scott frowned as he watched Ellie walk out the backdoor with Daisy shuffling behind her. It had been a month since the disastrous fallout and his friend was a ghost of her former self.

"You're worried about her," his friend Pierre's voice said from behind him.

Scott nodded his head as he turned around. He didn't necessarily feel right about talking about Ellie and Chris's breakup, but at the same time, Pierre was a psychologist and he'd helped Scott through things before.

Maybe the fact that Pierre had needed a place to stay while his condo's kitchen was being redone was a sign. Pierre had been with them for a few days now and he and Ellie had hit it off really well. Especially since Pierre loved to cook and had been taking on that chore while he was there so Ellie wouldn't have to.

"She went through a breakup recently," Scott explained, watching his words carefully. "It was a mutual friend and she doesn't want me to be caught in the middle any more than I already am."

Pierre raised a well-manicured eyebrow and asked, "More than you already are?"

"I was inadvertently the one who told her it was over between them, at least in her eyes," Scott confessed.

Pierre made an 'oh' face and went back to loading the dishwasher. In the few days he'd known Ellie, he'd noticed how quiet she was. There had been brief glimpses of a happier, more vivacious personality, but she'd mostly seemed withdrawn.

"Do you know if she has talked to anyone about what happened?" Pierre asked Scott. "A friend or a professional?"

"I don't know for sure, but I don't think so," Scott replied. "I'm good friends with one of her sisters, too, and I haven't heard from her about the breakup and I'm certain I would if she knew."

"And she won't talk to you at all about it?" Pierre asked and Scott nodded. "Do you think she'd talk to me? Not in a professional capacity, just here in the house."

"She knows you're a psychologist," Scott stated. "I know she won't seek you out and ask to talk. But maybe, if you went to her and started the conversation?"

"I'll try," Pierre promised Scott. "If she won't talk to me, maybe I can at least encourage her to talk to someone she trusts."

Two nights later, the opportunity for Pierre to speak privately with Ellie presented itself when they were cooking dinner together. He'd gotten more glimpses of the woman behind the sadness as they'd collaborated and now the main course was in the oven.

As he opened his mouth to broach the subject, Ellie's phone rang and he listened to her side of the conversation with Scott.

"He's going to be late," she relayed the message after hanging up. "There's an accident and he's stuck smack dab in the middle of it."

Seeing his opening, Pierre took it. "He's worried about you, you know," he stated.

He expected Ellie to play coy, but she nodded solemnly and said, "I know."

"He wants to help."

Ellie frowned to herself as she opened the fridge, stalling for time as she tried to decide how to respond to Pierre. She’d had an inkling that he was going to seek her out from the moment Scott had asked if it was ok for his friend, a shrink, to crash with them for a couple weeks. It all seemed too coincidental.

Turning around, she looked at Pierre and asked, “Is your kitchen really being remodeled? Or is this all something that Scott cooked up to get me to talk to someone?”

Pierre chuckled and answered, “it’s really being remodeled. Or rather, it had to be gutted completely after the kitchen in the condo above me flooded and ruined my place.” Ellie’s response was a shocked ‘oh’ face. “I will admit that Scott did ask me to talk to you, but only the other night when I saw how worried he was about you.” He also appreciated the fact that she seemed like a straight forward, what you see is what you get, type of person. It was a refreshing break from the normal, wannabe famous, LA crowd.

Taking that into account, Ellie nodded her head and asked one more question. “You won’t tell him what I say, right? It'll stay between us?”

“Of course,” Pierre assured her. “I know you want to protect the relationship between Scott and his friend. Nothing you tell me will be repeated, unless you tell me otherwise.”

Ellie nodded again and pulled out a bottle of wine. “I think I’m going to need this,” she said and then, as if worried about what he might think, added, “I don’t drink a lot. There’s just a lot to unravel…”

“I understand,” Pierre assured her with a smile. “Why don’t you sit down and talk while I put together the salad.”

Resisting the urge to nod her head again for fear of being mistaken as a bobble head, Ellie grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard and then sat down at the breakfast bar.

After pouring herself a glass of wine, she leaned back in her seat and wondered where to even begin. She wasn’t sure how much Scott had told Pierre and she wasn’t sure how much she wanted him to know. He might be a professional in helping people with their problems, but that wouldn’t make her feel any less heartbroken or foolish.

Foolish.

That was the key source of her pain, she knew. She’d had her heart broken before, though never as badly as Chris had left it. But it was the shame of feeling foolish that had kept her from speaking about what had happened between her and Chris. At least it had been after Chris’s text to Scott.

Before that, she had just been confused and hurt, but hopeful at the same time. She’d naively thought he’d contact her in some way, that they’d get through this rough patch and be better for it.

But Chris had messaged Scott and then she’d had to accept that whatever had been between them was over and done with.

Around that same time, Phoenix had told her that she was pregnant with her second baby, Izzy had gotten her first big case and Riley had accepted an internship that kept her busy. Knowing that they were all busy with good things in their lives, Ellie hadn’t wanted to bring them down or have them feel sorry for her.

And then there was Sydney. Ellie hadn’t spoken to her older sister since the night of their argument in the restaurant. At first because she was just mad at Sydney and then because she hadn’t wanted to hear I told you so.

“And now?” Pierre asked. “How do you feel about your sister now?”

Ellie stared down into her empty wine glass as she realized her train of thought had become a verbal word vomit without her realizing it. Instead of feeling embarrassed, she felt a surprising amount of relief from getting everything that had been circling her mind out in the open.

“Now? I miss her,” she admitted, looking up. “Do you have siblings?”

“Two older brothers,” Pierre replied.

“So you know how much older siblings can be a pain in the ass then,” Ellie said with a small smile and Pierre nodded. “Sydney is almost three years older than me. We were close when we were little and then she became a know-it-all for like ten years. Then she became normal again, for the most part, but she has her moments.

“We’ve gotten along really well during the last ten years, to the point that I’d count all three of my sisters as my best friends. But then a couple months ago, she met Chris and I thought she liked him. But then she took on her holier than thou persona about my situation, specifically that I was living with him, and it just pissed me off.

“Turns out she knew better than I did,” Ellie sighed as she poured herself another glass of wine. “She was right. About the entire situation.”

“Is that why you feel foolish?” He prompted.

“That and the fact that I let myself get so caught up with how I was feeling that I just trusted everything Chris told me and now look at me,” she replied with a bitter laugh. “I’m single and living in my ex’s house with no place to go. And I work for him, too. So not only is my housing attached to him, but my livelihood, too.” She took in a shaky breath. “Just like my sister predicted.”

Trying to get her emotions in control, Ellie paused and reached out to pick at the label on the wine bottle.

Sensing she needed a moment, Pierre stayed quiet as he waited for her to continue.

“The real kicker of it all?” She said, looking up at Pierre. “Is that the one person I want to talk to the most about this whole fucking mess is the one person I can’t talk to, my big sister.”

“Why can’t you talk to her?” Pierre asked. “Did she change her number? Write you off?”

Ellie shook her head and said, “I was worse than mean to her the last time we spoke. I was awful to her and -”

“She was awful to you, too,” Pierre interrupted. “And if you’re as close as you say, it’s likely she is tearing herself up about this situation, too. You won’t know unless you reach out to her.”

Silence fell between them. Eventually, Ellie admitted, “I’m scared. I know once I tell them what’s going, it'll be really over between me and Chris...”

“Breakups are never easy,” Pierre said, compassionately. “But that’s when you need to surround yourself with the people who love you the most. The people that have your back regardless of whether you think you deserve it or not.”

By the time he finished talking, Ellie had tears rolling down her cheeks. “You must be good at your job,” she said in a weak attempt at lightening the mood.

“I’ve always loved helping people,” he replied with a smile as they heard the rumbling of the garage door, announcing Scott’s arrival.

Ellie excused herself to the bathroom and was still gone when Scott came into the house. He met Pierre’s eyes and the latter nodded his head as the oven timer buzzed.

When Ellie came back into the kitchen, Scott was pouring wine into glasses for all three of them. Crossing the room, she wrapped her friend in a hug from behind and whispered, “I’ll be ok, I promise.”

-----

It took Ellie a couple days to work up the courage to text Sydney, but she finally did it on Friday morning. She went back and forth on what to say, but ultimately decided not to beat around the bush.

Turns out you were right all along.

Chris and I broke up.

She hit send and stared at the phone for a minute before she tossed it down on the bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. She was still in the process of getting ready to get into the shower when her phone rang.

Her stomach flipped when she saw Sydney's name on the screen and she had to fight back her nerves as she answered it, "Hello?"

"Oh, Ellie!" her sister's voice, thick with emotion, echoed through the phone.

Ellie felt tears in her eyes as her sister talked, expressing her sorrow and being the compassionate older sister that she knew and loved.

"I didn't want to be right, you know?" Sydney said, softly. "I didn't want you to get hurt."

"I know," Ellie assured her as she sat down on her bed. "But it happened and there isn't anything we can do about that now."

"Maybe not, but maybe I can help in a different way," Sydney told her. "I'm here, in LA for a conference. I have to present some stuff tomorrow afternoon, but I have a hotel room and I don't leave here until Monday."

"You're in LA, right now?" Ellie repeated in disbelief.

"I am," Sydney confirmed. "And I'm about twenty minutes or so from your house. I was going to try and surprise you. I wasn't sure you'd answer your phone if I called."

"Of course I would have answered," Ellie said, softly. "You might annoy me sometimes, but you're my big sister and I love you."

"I love you, too," Sydney replied. "But I know we have a lot to talk about and a lot of stuff to work out between us. I was hoping we could spend the weekend together. Unless you have to work?"

"I have the weekend off," Ellie told her. "I'll be ready when you get here." Then she remembered she needed to take a shower. "Or almost ready. I'll call Scott and let him know that you're on your way and to let you in."

The two said goodbye and then Ellie called Scott, letting him know that Sydney was on her way and asking if he'd let her in. He agreed and offered to take care of Daisy for the weekend as well.

After taking as quick a shower as possible, Ellie threw some clothes into a small suitcase and gathered Daisy's stuff before leading her dog out of the guesthouse. After a potty stop for Daisy, they made their way up the stairs to the kitchen entrance and where Ellie left the dog's toys and bed.

Hearing voices in the living room, Ellie made her way there and paused in the doorway when she saw her sister and Scott sitting in there waiting for her. Letting go of her suitcase, Ellie made her way to her sister, tears rapidly filling her eyes, and met her sister halfway. For the first time since Chris had walked out of her life, Ellie let herself weep as her sister held on to her.

Scott felt himself tearing up as he watched the two sisters embrace, Ellie crying and Sydney soothing her the best she could. He'd filled Sydney in on what he could while they'd been waiting for Ellie to appear and she had appeared both broken-hearted for her sister but also abashed for what she had put her sister through. Then Ellie had come in and he'd seen in Sydney what he knew his older sister did when situations called for it, she became the heroic big sister that was needed.

He hadn't believed Ellie completely the other day when she'd told him that she'd be alright, but now, seeing her with her sister, he knew she would be. It wouldn't be overnight by any means, but her sisters would make sure she recovered from her broken heart.

Excusing himself from the room, he headed upstairs. Now that Ellie was talking and on her way to recovering from everything, he needed to try and focus on helping his brother. He would still be there for Ellie, of course, she was one of his best friends in the entire world. But so was his brother and he wouldn't give up on him ever. No matter how stupid Chris was acting.

Episode 20.5

Want to find me off tumblr? I'm @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

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My tag list is always open, just let me know if you'd like to be added!

#chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris and ellie series #theycallmebecca #chris and ellie #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x ofc #chris evans fan fiction #chris evas x original character #friends to lovers #theycallmebeccawrites

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whatmoredoyouwant · 7 years

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I was tagged by @laufire (okay like, not really, but it said whoever wants to do it! lol)

Rules: choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag some friends

Fandoms:

The 100

Grey’s Anatomy

Lost

The First Character You Loved:

Oh wow. Hard one. Hmm...it’s especially hard cause I just rewatched the whole show, so my “first impressions” are a little skewed. I don’t know if it’s more Octavia Blake or Clarke Griffin tbh. I’m like horribly in love with Eliza Taylor, so that’s a big factor, but Octavia’s character is so dynamic and fun. I loved her from that first, “We’re back, bitches!”

This is even harder because the characters have changed so much! I think it would have to be Cristina Yang, even though she’s not in the show anymore. I miss her so much!

100% without a doubt, Charlie Pace. When I watched the show when I was younger, when it was still on TV, I bawled my friggin’ eyes out every near-death and then his eventual death. It’s funny because now I don’t like him nearly as much.

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much:

Just based on how she was first introduced, Lexa kom Trikru. We get introduced to this badass warrior Commander, twirling a knife and ordering the deaths of Skaikru for burning her warriors, and she turns out to be the biggest gay softie in the world.

A L E X K A R E V. Holy shit, dude. If you told me that Alex Karev would be one of my favourite characters of all time during the first few seasons, I would have laughed. He’s such an asshole, he doesn’t care about anyone, he’s all about machismo and sleeping with the ladies. And then all of a sudden he does this 180 and the whole macho tough guy is just an act, and he’s just this SWEET SOFT TEDDY BEAR UNDERNEATH.

It’s actually crazy how much of a Sun-Hwa Kwon stan I became after rewatching. She’s just such a fucking badass??? Like, nothing gets her down. And the people that disagree with me that Sun is a Slytherin are just WRONG. Like, the woman learns an entirely different language to get away from her murderous, tyrannical father and arguably abusive husband, and plans to just disappear off into a different country. And then, in the flash forwards, she BUYS OUT HER FATHER’S COMPANY? Slytherin. SUCH a Slytherin.

The Character You Relate To The Most:

Hmm...it’s hard to relate to characters in a post-apocalyptic setting, to be honest, cause I just don’t deal with their issues lol. I feel like I would have to say Clarke Griffin, if only for the fact that she’s a headstrong, stubborn bisexual who tries her best to do the right thing, even if sometimes she’s wrong. That’s the closest similarity I can draw from the characters.

Hands down, Cristina Yang. The commitment issues, the aversion to having a baby, the total 100% dedication and obsession with her job and working? Oh, please, I AM Cristina Yang.

Let’s see, Kate’s a runaway, Claire’s pregnant, Shannon’s a rich kid, Sun is too, I don’t know that I can necessarily relate to any of the women. And the men, like, not at all. Everyone seems to have daddy issues and I don’t have those lol. I have “mommy issues.” Does anyone have mom issues? Ooh ooh! Ana Lucia Cortez! Totally had mom issues. Again, that’s really the closest similarity that I can draw from these characters.

The Character You’d Slap:

Ooh man, so many. Thelonious Jaha, for starters. Like, why are you even here anymore? All you do is cause chaos. They should have locked him out of the bunker.

I don’t know that I’d necessarily slap him, but I really don’t like Richard Webber. He has such anger issues and I feel like he just causes unnecessary tension and drama all the time. And his and Catherine Avery’s relationship is so tumultuous and at times, borderline toxic, I’m just sick of seeing the two of them.

Haha, I feel like my first instinct is James Ford aka Sawyer, just because he’s an ass most of the time, but I love him too much. So I’m saying John Locke, because holy shit, dude, can you cause any more trouble?? Just like I said with Jaha, ALL YOU CAUSE IS CHAOS.

Three Favourite Characters (In Order Of Preference):

Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin, and John Murphy.

Cristina Yang, Stephanie Edwards, and April Kepner

Desmond Hume, Juliet Burke, and Sun-Hwa Kwon

A Character You Liked At First But Don’t Anymore:

Jasper Jordan. This show did you so dirty, my poor child. They should have made him go up in the rocket into space with the rest of them. Can you imagine, crazy alcoholic Jasper Jordan, basically being forced into rehab and made to face his demons? Anyway, yeah, he just went a little too crazy for me, and then he just became a nuisance.

I can’t really think of a character that I liked but don’t anymore. If I had to pick someone, maybe Izzy Stevens? I think she got kind of selfish after living through her cancer death, and then she treated Alex really horribly. I was really happy when he told her he deserved more. But like, it’s honestly me nitpicking a character. I certainly don’t hate Izzy, not even close, I just have to pick SOMEONE.

I already mentioned her, but Ana Lucia Cortez was my first girl crush. When I was young, when the show first came out, I was nine years old and didn’t have any idea I was bisexual. I was IN LOVE with Ana Lucia, I was so upset when she died. Years later, when I rewatched it, it dawned on me just how much I hated her character, and I was like, “Why was she my favourite??” And my gay ass was like, “Ohhhh, it’s cause she’s hot as fuck. Got it.”

A Character You Did Not Like At First But Now Do:

They kind of already asked this? But well, I guess it’s a little bit different. For this one, I’ll say John Murphy. He was SUCH an ass, and I mean, he still is, but now he’s a little more human. And even when you watch him being an ass in the first season, you kind of understand it a little bit more now. Certain things can’t be excused, obviously, but at least they’re better explained.

Ooh, wait, another good one! I couldn’t STAND Arizona Robbins when she was introduced. My boss at the time, Ricky, I was talking to him when I first started watching it (when we were in season 12 I think) and he kept asking me to tell him when I’d met Arizona. And when I finally did, I didn’t get it at all. I was like, “Why do you like her? She’s awful??” And now I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Benjamin Linus. God, I HATED him when I first watched the show, because obviously, he was the “big bad guy.” Now...well, he’s still a bad guy, but I appreciate his character so much more. Especially in the last few episodes! He really redeems himself.

Three OTPs: (I decided to read this as 3 OTPs for each fandom because I can) (I’m following suit, 3 OTPS per show!)

Oh man. Don’t even get me staaaaarted. Linctavia will forever be like, my most painful OTP. Followed of course, by Clexa. The third one is hard though? Honestly, I just wanted to ship Roan with someone, just cause I found him so effing hot. Any time he was on screen with someone, anyone at all, I went, “I ship it.” But realistically, like a real ship, I guess I would say Memori. Even though Emori is hard for me to like. I’m hoping she’ll be more likeable in season 5.

This is so painful. Mark Sloan/Lexie Grey, again, my most painful OTP and oh GOD, I miss them so much. Alex Karev/Meredith Grey, don’t JUDGE ME OKAY? And again, the last one is hard. I think it’s a tie between Calzona and Japril. Calzona really fell apart, and fell apart hard, whereas Japril is still kind of being hinted at? (Even though this awful Maggie/Jackson thing is being pushed now, I can’t staaaand this.)

I was a total Sawyer/Kate shipper as opposed to Jack/Kate, and I stand by that. But on that note, Sawyer/Juliet is my I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP ship. THEY BELONGED TOGETHER. When I was younger, I shipped the hell out of Claire and Charlie but now I kind of hate them together. And now I ship the hell out of Desmond/Charlie lol. Oh, and of course Desmond and Penny, but still, the Desmond/Charlie ship has sailed and I am the captain.

I don’t think I really have any friends on this site who would actually do this if I tagged them...so I’m just gonna say anyone who wants to do it should, just tag @sassybrowsreyes in your post!

#me #mine #ask game #questions game #fandom game #fandoms #grey's anatomy #the 100 #lost

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calistapledger · 7 years

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Goodbye Love

[A/N: I guess y'all deserve some closure (I love how I pretend y'all care about Cal’s story) also props to @ariciaeast for helping me cowrite this. Her version can be found on her blog eventually]

I was glad I wasn’t complacent enough to spend the week away being idle. I took advantage of my extra time to spend time with my friends. I baked cookies with Dev - well I found out she doesn’t actually makes her own cookies but rather had the chef make them for her. We bonded over leftover cookie dough while watching him bake them. I felt the chemistry between Dev and the chef. I was happy that if she didn’t win, she had options.

Aricia, Isabella, Debbie, and I were lounging in the library every morning since my date. After breakfast, if we didn’t have any pre-established plans, we would walk towards the libraries and seek solitude in each other and in the walls of literature that surrounded them. Unfortunately, as the week progressed, there was a notable increase in the tension between us. With my looming departure, we realized that we were losing good friends and sisters. They all tried their best to bring the vibe back to normal. Debbie joked about desserts, Aricia tried to lighten the mood with terrible puns, Izzy just had to be her usual bubbly self. I admired them greatly for their efforts but that didn’t change the fact that Dominic was going to boot me.

I accompanied Emma around the Palace as she snapped her pictures and I temporarily took over Maddie in teasing her about Alec. Theia and I had a lovely time discussing her family life and her various potato growing techniques.

And Aly, oh Alystair. I don’t know where I’d be without him. He made the last week worthwhile. My friends were amazing and having Aly come over at the end of the day to review our days was a real treat. He would give me all the juicy details on what was happening with everyone in the Palace, talk about new recruits and some of the intense training they’ve had. No one would ever suspect it with his career choice but Aly was a talented musician. He was a Five before he was drafted to the Palace and was the most talented violinist I’ve heard. His music was appreciated even more by me because of my sensitive hearing. I could hear every string being eloquently rubbed against the bow. I could spend years listening to him play.

The last night, he didn’t play and I frowned already missing the bow pressed against the strings. The air was tense and somber. “The Prince had his last date today, he’ll be announcing the official eliminations tomorrow.” His tone matched the atmosphere. I fell onto my bed, in disbelief. Had a week gone by so fast? Instinctively the walls went up. What’s the point of letting him in when I’m going home tomorrow? I shifted into a faux happy mood. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. Like Vad said one bad date doesn’t necessarily mean a bad relationship.” He hummed in agreement but he seemed reluctant. I heard him take a breath and was going to say something before I interrupted him. “I’m exhausted, Theia showed me how to plant potatoes today. It’s harder than you think it is. I think I’ll sleep early today. Goodnight Aly.” I could tell he wanted to protest but I yawned loudly to avoid his protests. I practically pushed him out the door. I found my way back to my bed before I heard Isla’s clicking tongue.

“Oh don’t you start, Isla. I’m going to bed.” “Pushing him away isn’t helping anyone, Miss.” “What have I’ve said about calling me Miss, Isla?” I ignored her comment completely. By now, she should know that I was going to aggressively ignore the problem at hand. What does she think I’ve been doing the past week?

*** That thoughtless bastard! You’d think he himself would come to eliminate me officially but now as the butler stood before me uttering the news, I should have known better. In my fit of my rage, I dismissed the messenger rudely. He should be glad I didn’t shoot him. I felt bad when I heard him whimpering on the way out. I breathe and count to 10 to calm myself.

He had told me that I had to pack and leave by the afternoon. I brought the bare minimum of my aiding devices so I didn’t have much to pack. Father was going to be so disappointed. I’ve been so busy with the Palace life, I forgot to call my family. I can’t seem to do anything right. I’m a terrible date, daughter and friend to Alystair. I had Isla locate my aids and threw them into my backpack.

By the time Isla dressed me, I had hot angry tears running down my face. The door opened and I caught a whiff of Paris and Valencia’s perfume. They sat me down and worked silently. Paris wiped away the tears with a warm face towel and started applying the necessary makeup. “At least leave in style, Miss- I mean Cal.” Paris smiles at me and I can feel her positivity spreading to me. As Paris’ blush brush tickled me, Valencia started pulling at my hair. The heat of the curling iron prickled against my neck.

“Do you want me to get the Captain?” Isla asked just as Paris and Valencia laid the final touches on me. My head helper thought she was so cheeky wanting to bring Aly along to mend my heart. I couldn’t so I shook my head. “I’d like to see my friends first.” I stood up as my make up artist and hair stylist stepped back. I gripped my dress, feeling up the texture. It was silky and blue, it fell to my knees. It was perfect.

When I stepped out of my room, I heard echoes of footsteps. I caught whiffs of their various perfumes and I instantly knew it was my usual book gang - consisting of Cia, Izzy and Debs. The tense and sombre air hung awkwardly amongst us. We regrouped and made our way to the Dining Hall for Breakfast. My last meal, we’ll call it that. Normally during our walk to the hall, we talked about all the things that had happened, cracking jokes and laughing noisily, getting strange looks from the guards, but today was a different day, with none of us daring to break the silence, until I spoke.

“Hey, could one of you help me get downstairs? I wouldn’t want to go home with an injury.” I forced a laugh. Izzy moved to my right side while Cia walked to the other, grabbing my arms and leading me down the stairs, while Debs walked beside us, possibly watching the steps. Once we reached the end, the girls let go of my arms, and started walking towards the dining hall, the blanket of silence drifting on top of us once again.

Once we arrived at the dining hall, we waved to all the other girls, who were also sitting silently, eating their food. We all walked over to join the rest of the Breakfast Club - Emma, Dev and Theia seemed to have gotten up earlier - and sat in our normal seats, helping ourselves to the food on the table. Izzy and Aricia both silently talked about small things, while we all occasionally snuck glances at the royal table. They all seemed happy, talking animatedly amongst each other, which clearly wasn’t the case amongst some of the Selected - particularly our group.

Once breakfast was over, the four of us bid the other three goodbye while they went off to go on with their daily affairs. Emma and her impromptu photo shoots, Dev probably went off to her Chef friend and I’m fairly certain Theia was raising a Potato Army in the Royal Garden. We walked towards the library, not wanting to break our normal morning tradition. We walked in, sat down, and waited for someone to bring up a book first.

“Well, I read this book last week-“, Izzy started, but Aricia interrupted her. “Please, Izzy, not now… “She started and must have shot her a pleading glance at Izzy, who automatically understood, and changed the topic. “So, Cal, what are you planning for after the selection?” She asked, voicing the question that I’m sure was on all of their minds. I shrugged, fiddling with a stray book I found, “I’m not sure. I just want to live out my life without any burdens or pressures.” Debbie nodded, “That makes sense. It’s a good time as any to discover yourself right now.” We all chorused in agreement, before sinking back into silence again.

“When are you leaving, Cal?” Aricia asked, I heard her running a hand haphazardly through her blonde locks. I smirked slightly, “Wow, Cia, you sound eager to be rid of me.” My defense mechanism, ladies and gentlemen. Aricia rolled her eyes, “That not what I meant, and you know it Cal.” She said, I heard the corners of her mouth tugging up ever so slightly. Debbie and Izzy laughed, shaking their heads at us.

“You make us laugh even in the darkest times, Cal.” Izzy said, moving towards me to give me a hug, “I’ll miss you so much” she mumbled into my shoulder. I wanted to cry and not let go of her. I didn’t want to go. Debbie and Aricia both got up, wrapping their hands around us, enclosing us into their embrace. “I’ll miss you guys as well. You were the highlight of my stay here, and I will never forget any of you.” I said, pulling away, “You better write, or else” I threatened, which sent the four of us into a state of delirious laughter. We kept laughing, until they heard a throat clear from the doorway, which caused them to stop laughing. The girls turned around to see Aly standing by the door, waiting to be invited into the room. But I had smelled his aftershave before I even heard his throat clearing.

“Come on in, Captain Costas, no need to be shy,” Aricia said slyly, which causing me to blush slightly and Debbie, Aricia and Izzy to laugh. “Haha, very funny Cia,” I said, rolling my eyes, but you could hear the laughter in my voice. Aly walked further into the room, coming to a stop in front of us. “Ladies, if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to Lady Calista for a minute,” he said, rubbing a hand at the back of his neck. He was nervous which calmed my own nerves. “Oh, of course! We’ll give you both the alone time you need,” Izzy exclaimed, dragging a laughing Debbie and Aricia out of the room before I could murder them. I rolled my eyes at my friends, “I’ll get you back later!” I yelled after them, before turning to look at Aly once the door shut. “So, Alystair, what did you want to talk to me about?” I asked, knowing full well what he wanted to talk about. He ran a hand through his hair, before taking the seat opposite to Cal, “Were you honestly going to leave without saying goodbye?” he asked, his voice strained. So his nerves could be blamed on my friends’ presence. He was annoyed.

Well, he doesn’t beat around the bush.

I sighed and gave it to him straight, “I thought it’d be easier that way.” “What would be easier?” His eyebrows shifted to a frown, brushing against his forehead. “Leaving without saying goodbye would make the goodbye easier, wouldn’t you think? No emotional sobbing, no empty promises, nothing.” I said bluntly. “Easier for you, but not for me,” He exhaled exasperated, but before I could answer, he stood up, “It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Calista. I must get going now, have a safe journey home.”

“Wait! Where are you going?” I asked, and silently reprimanded myself. What did I care that this man was walking away from me? “I do have a job here, you know,” Alystair said mockingly, “I hope we meet again Calista Ledger, I hope we meet again very soon” he added, slipping out of the room before I could get one word in against him. I caught brief muffled conversations between him and my friends before they came tumbling back in.

“Cal?” Debbie asked, walking into the room first, “Are you ok?” I nodded, unsure as to how I was feeling at the moment, “I have to go to my room and grab my stuff. It’s almost time for me to go.” “Cal-“ Izzy started, but I held up a hand, definitively silencing her, “Not now, Izzy. I’ll talk to you all later when I’m doing packing up, okay? I’ve got some things I need to think about. Now if you’ll excuse me,” I said, storming out of the room and leaving my friends dumbfounded.

In all honesty, I felt bad about what I did. All my friends wanted was to help me out and spend time with me, but I couldn’t even allow them that. I shook my head, shaking the thoughts out of my mind. If I started thinking like this, I knew I’d go back and spill everything to the girls, and I couldn’t handle that right now. I walked up the stairs slowly, getting assistance from a guard who was standing by the railing. I thanked him when I got to the landing, and walked towards my room.

I thanked the Gods when my helpers were still there. I would get to say my goodbye. The three of them stood before me, not knowing what to say. I broke out into a smirk directed at Isla. “It is my last day, this warrants a hug don’t you think?” I heard her rolling her eyes.

“You’re an odd one, Cal.” “I’ll take that as a compliment, Isla.” I teased, pulling the three of them into a bone crushing hug. I whispered my thank you softly into their ears. I hope my hug said it all. I would be nothing without these three. We soon had to break up the love fest because it was nearing noon and I had to leave. I slung my backpack over my shoulders and walked out the door with my head held high and the walking stick in my hand. Just because I decided to leave with grace doesn’t mean my blindness was magically cured.

I was just exiting the Hall when I felt the loud thud of his steps and smelled the scent of his aftershave. His steps were louder and rougher than usual. He was mad and I don’t blame him. The sound stops and I hear his deep breathing. He can’t even speak because he’s so mad.

“You’re actually going to leave without saying goodbye, aren’t you,” Aly said, with a structure in his tone that caught me off guard. I took a moment to reevaluate my situation, knowing that if I responded, I’d give into my vulnerability, which was the last thing I needed right now. But, the smarter part of me screamed to give him an answer and walk away, acting unaffected.

“I was going to send you a postcard.” I blurted, trying to ease the tension. He was not amused, evident from the exasperated sigh that escaped him. “I know you’re blind but surely you’re not an idiot! You know how I feel about you, Calista. I know you feel the same.”

What. The. Hell.

I stood there, rendered speechless. What could I say to that? That I loved him back? Truth. That I didn’t want anything to do with him? Lie. I knew that I couldn’t say either of those, because my truth would give Aly everything he needed to hold me back, but he would see through my lie instantly. Quickly making my decision, I donned a face of indifference, “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, repeating the same lie I had told countless times before.

“Ah, I know what you’re doing” he said, his voice as gentle as the morning wind. I placed my hands stubbornly on my waist, staring him down the same way I did when we first met. Its funny how our story both started and seemed to be ending the same way. “What exactly am I doing?” I’m not going to patronise you, Cal. You don’t have to push me away. I want you to stay.”

“You’re crazy! Dominic would never allow it!” I scoffed. He laughed and suddenly all the tension between us dissolved. He ruffled my hair, and I shook my head trying to get rid of his touch. He was such a weirdo, why do I even like him?

“AH HA! You do fancy me!” He exclaimed, sounding happier than a kid on Christmas morning. I ran over what I had said in my head and I groaned when I realised I had said it out loud. “It doesn’t matter, I’m leaving.” I hitch up my backpack and make a move to go around him when he pulls me towards him. I try to resist but end up melting into his arms. I could feel his soft breath on my forehead, and the thundering of his heart beneath his uniform. I start to blush, I had made that happen.

“I want you to stay but not in the Palace, that isn’t my call but I do have an apartment outside the Palace. You could stay and study in Angeles University so we’d still be close. Please, Cal. We could be happy.” The last part of his sentence was what broke me out of my trance. I knew that with the way things were going now, I couldn’t be happy. Not until I could have some time to heal and sort out everything back home.

“Life isn’t a fairy tale, Aly. I have a family to get home to. I’ve disappointed them enough” I said, wrenching myself out of his hold and walking away. This time, Alystair didn’t stop me. I walked down the hallway, and in my haste, bumped into someone, sending us both sprawling out on the floor. “Oh my, I’m so sorry! Are you ok?” I asked, getting up and dusting herself off. “Cal?” A voice said, coming close to her, and I recognized it as the voice of Aricia.

“Hey, Cia,” I started, and tried to walk around herl. Unfortunately for me, Aricia knew what I was planning on doing and grabbed my wrist with an iron grip. “Where are you going? You just ran away without any explanation, and we’ve been looking for you for the past half hour!” She exclaimed, incredulous. I sighed, and turned to look in Cia’s general direction, “I’m sorry, Cia, it just…” I trailed off, and Aricia started guiding her down the hallways.

“Where are we going?” I asked, continuing to match Aricia’s brisk pace. “Well, you’re leaving soon, and Debbie, Izzy and I want answers, so you’re going to give them to us,” she said forcefully. I was shocked, I’d never seen Aricia behave this coldly before. Whatever was bothering her, I made it my mission to figure out. “Here we are,” Aricia said, leading me into a room. “Where are we?” I asked, trying to gauge my surroundings “The library,” Aricia stated, the edge coming back into her voice again. What was up with her?

“Izzy? Debbie?” Aricia called, looking around the library. “Back here!” Came a voice, and Aricia guided both of us to it. We walked silently, Aricia’s hand still clasping mine with a vice like grip. We kept walking until we reached a small nook in the corner of the library - Aricia was feeling generous enough to describe it to me. “Oh, you found her,” Debbie said with a breath of relief, as we approached them.

Aricia nodded I heard her hair brush against her neck, and let go of my wrist, as if it were poison. She walked over and took a seat beside Izzy, who looked at her with concern. They whispered amongst themselves before turning to me. I turned my full attention to them when they started to question me. “So, Cal,” Izzy started, shifting her gaze from one friend to another, “Why did you storm out?” I shrugged, “I was going to leave without saying goodbye to Alystair, which made him upset.” Debbie gasped, “How could you? You know he cares about you, right?” I groaned, hating the way the conversation was going, “What do you mean, how could I? Just because he cares about me doesn’t mean that I’m going to drop everything that’s going on in my life and be with him!” I yelled, my voice getting louder with each word, and a deathly silence followed my outburst. I instantly felt guilty.

“Debs, I’m sorry, I know you want what’s best, but I don’t know what to do,” I apologized. Debbie sighed, “It’s ok, Cal, but that didn’t give you the right to yell,” she said. Always the peacemaker, I thought, but the irony of her words didn’t get past me. So, it was alright for Aricia to be upset for no reason, but not for me to be upset with one? “Speaking about people not having the right to do things,” I started, looking around the room, “What’s wrong with you, Aricia?” Aricia tensed, her body going stiff as a rod, “I don’t want to talk about it,” she forced out, her gaze steely. “But-“ I interjected, trying to get an answer out of Aricia, but was interrupted by the latter. “I said, I don’t want to talk about it,” She stated, her words getting icier by the minute. Honestly, what was her damage? I felt my temper rising but quickly calmed myself, not wanting to ruin my last day with them. She will tell me in due time.

“Come on, Cal,” Izzy said, checking her watch, “it’s almost time for you to leave, let’s walk you to the front doors.” We got up and walked towards the doors speechlessly, as if there was an invisible force that kept our mouths shut. When we arrived there, all the other ladies who were eliminated were standing there, with the girls still in the Selection saying goodbye to each of their friends. We walked up to my haversack where Emma, Dev and Theia were waiting and stood there speechlessly. I went around saying my individual goodbyes to each girl. I hugged them tightly, I was going to miss them terribly. After I was done, they circled around me in sombre silence.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye then,” Debbie said, breaking the ominous silence. “No,” I stated, “not goodbye, just… the start of something new.” All of us stood together, looking at each other before coming together for a brief hug. When we pulled away, I could hear sniffles and tears rolling down cheeks from all around. “Here’s to forever,” Izzy whispered, looking around at all her friends “Here’s to forever.” We echoed.

#Elimination Fic #Goodbye Love #Calystair #Calista P Ledger #Alystair Costas #Aricia East #Isabella Faulkner #Debbie Varker #Cia #Izzy #Debs

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