#jean is standing in the doorway because he's social distancing

[yulindraws]

Aftermath (Part 1/?) (WARNING: Disco Elysium Spoilers)

Fancomic/love letter to the game -- Dialogue is pulled from the (worst) outcome of the tribunal (in which Kim is shot, Jean visits him at the hospital). Looking for this to become a longer comic series that explores the events following the Hanged Man case's completion 🪩

I also am abysmal at titles and naming things in general, so if someone has ideas for this comic's name please feel free to share ✌️

Aftermath Part 2 here.

[seokmingiggles]

comfortable.

@gloryofroses19 requested on 201219: “Would you write a fluff Min Yoongi one shot where he’s crushing on Jimin and Taehyung’s fellow 95er best friend who’s birthday is 11 days before Taehyung’s (aka today), so she and Yoongi get together when he find her taking a break on a balcony at a surprise birthday party they threw for her (lying to her that it was for Taehyung) even though they know she hates the idea of being the center/doesn’t like making a big deal about her birthday?”

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female reader

Genre: fluff, friends to lovers(?), first confessions.

1.96k words

Warnings: some alcohol consumption.

At your surprise birthday party, you find yourself to be more enamoured by the musician accompanying you on your balcony than the happenings inside. Alternatively, where Yoongi has been waiting for the opportune moment to confess to you, unknowing that his feelings are mutual.

A/N: First of all, thank you for being my first request! I hope I’ve done your concept justice :) There are a couple of small details that I haven’t included, but the overall gist should be the same. I hope you enjoy it! And happy birthday if it’s anyone’s birthday who may be reading!

•• "I can't believe you two! This looks amazing. Thank you," Jimin beamed as he spun around to look at the array of decorations you and Taehyung had embellished his apartment with earlier that afternoon.

For Jimin's 25th birthday, you wanted to do something special. The boy was the biggest libra you knew—loving to host parties and social gatherings. While parties weren't typically your cup of tea, you and Taehyung knew that Jimin would appreciate the sentiment.

"I think we make a pretty good team, right, (Y/N)-ie?" Taehyung smiled back at Jimin's praise, patting your shoulder as he referred to you.

•

Only a couple of months later, you found yourself in a similar situation.

"Surprise!" A chorus of voices called out as you stepped into your apartment, Taehyung nudging you through the doorway as you were momentarily stunned.

"What's all this?" You forced a smile and directed the question to your tall friend beside you, slipping your shoes off and proceeding to remove your outerwear. You could already feel your face beginning to heat at all of the gazes directed at you.

Taehyung chortled, "It's for you, obviously. Happy birthday, (Y/N)-ie."

You had just been out for your annual birthday dinner with Taehyung and Jimin, your two best friends for many years. You should have suspected something when the elder suddenly stood from across the table shortly before he finished his meal, claiming he got an emergency text from his brother and had to leave right away. Really, the blond just wanted to make sure everything at your place was properly prepared before your arrival. Jimin picked up some last-minute snacks and drinks on his way to your apartment where everyone else was waiting patiently for your appearance.

You scanned the room around you. Where you'd normally have your comfortable, minimalist furnishings occupying the room, you found yourself standing before what had to be nearly a dozen people. You knew everyone here, that wasn't an issue. Instead, the matter was you simply didn't find joy in parties—even your own birthday party—despite the kind gesture from your two best friends who you knew put this gathering together out of love.

Your eyes landed on Seokjin, who was standing at your kitchen island having a conversation with Moonbyul and Sana; the two girls were laughing at something the eldest had said. Hoseok, Namjoon, and Nayeon, three you weren't completely familiar with, went to greet Taehyung behind you after wishing you a happy birthday. Mingyu and Jungkook were sitting on the sofa, each already with a drink in their hands. Yoongi sat in the armchair next to them; the youngest was beckoning you over to join them. As you were still a bit bewildered by the noise of the party, Jimin collected your hand and guided you to join him and the other three in the seating area.

Jimin took a seat on the floor after stealing a couch cushion to sit on, wanting to be close to the array of snacks organized on your coffee table. You figured it was because he had left the restaurant before he finished the last bits of his dinner (which Taehyung had no problem volunteering his stomach to handle the few remaining bites). You squished onto the end of the couch next to Mingyu, declining the offer of a drink that the boy held out to you as you sat down. Jimin accepted the drink on your behalf and the three gave a brief toast to you.

You eyed Yoongi for a moment. You knew him as a like-minded individual to yourself, in the sense that he also wasn't too fond of parties. Maybe that's why he was occupied with something on his phone. You noticed the slight pink tinge to his cheeks, likely from the beer, you considered, spotting the can on the side table next to him.

In reality, Yoongi was forcing himself to keep his eyes on his phone because he's sure he'd otherwise be caught admiring you. He already took in the pretty blush on the apples of your cheeks and the way you styled your hair nicely for your dinner with Jimin and Taehyung.

Yoongi didn't let himself have crushes very often, yet, he was unmistakably drawn to you. With your airy laughter and bright eyes and the most beautiful smile; how you'd appear lively even though he knew you were uncomfortable in party settings. Words couldn't encompass the effect you had on Yoongi. He was tongue-tied; smitten like a schoolboy having his first love.

He wanted to do something about his feelings for you, but he didn't know where to begin. Yoongi first met you through Taehyung when you were all back in college. He didn't know what to expect when the younger boy asked if he could bring his friend to Yoongi's piano recital later that spring but agreed nonetheless. Apparently, you were fond of classical music.

What was initially only some small talk at the end of the recital became a new acquaintance between the two of you. Sharing your favourite musicians and songs over coffee or the occasional study session after class happened naturally. Yoongi cherished the times you spent together during your studies. It was only natural for him to become disappointed when you drifted apart after graduation.

He thought that his feelings for you would subside from the distance created, but here he was in your presence once again, and it was like nothing had changed in his heart. He gulped down the last of his beer in an attempt to calm his senses.

•

Some playful conversation with your friends and a drink in you later, you found the heat radiating off your face becoming unbearable and decided to excuse yourself for a moment onto your balcony to regain your senses. For a one-bedroom apartment in the city, the balcony wasn't anything special to you. You typically didn't use it at all during the colder months of November to March, instead truly only utilizing it for the early summer sunrises that you had a front-row seat to.

Yoongi figured he must have done a poor job concealing his concern for you when Jungkook asked if he had too much to drink.

Yoongi just shook his head, muttering that he was fine as he watched you close the balcony door behind you.

"You should just tell her, hyung," Jimin had one hand on his full tummy and the other clutching a drink half-full, still sat on the floor. "Otherwise, nothing's going to keep happening between you two."

Yoongi tried to act like he was none-the-wiser of what the blond was talking about, only stopping his act when Jungkook interjected, "The least you could do is check if she's alright out there. Or maybe bring her a coat."

Yoongi wondered since when has Jungkook thought of good ideas? Especially after having a couple of drinks. The kid was more profound than he let on.

The nervous musician stood from the chair he'd been glued to thus far, wiping his clammy hands onto his jean-clad-thighs as he neared the balcony door after collecting your jacket. He told himself it was silly to be so anxious; he was only checking in on you.

Yoongi cleared his throat to prepare his voice from faltering, "Hey, are you feeling alright?"

You turned away from the cityscape to see him stepping outside, eyeing the bit of warm air escaping from inside as it became visible, mixing with the cool night atmosphere. The closed sliding door nicely muffled the overlapping voices and music from inside.

You nodded as Yoongi approached you, "I was getting a little bit stuffy inside. I'm good now, though. Crowds can wear me out after a while, especially in that small of a space."

"I'm the same way. I should've told those two to hold off on inviting so many people," the boy admitted. He briefly stood behind you to help you slip on the outerwear before taking a spot next to you by the railing.

"No, it's okay. I know how Taehyung and Jimin can get carried away when they plan something together. They were just excited and went overboard. Besides," you looked over your shoulder to peer past the door, "it looks like they're enjoying themselves, so it's all worth it."

The boy turned to look where your gaze was directed at, although he first admired the way your lips were tilted upwards as you watched your best friends dancing around in the living room with some of the other guests. Currently, Taehyung was trying to convince Seokjin to join him on the makeshift dance-floor between your furniture.

"This was supposed to be for you, though, (Y/N). It means nothing if you're not comfortable. If you're not enjoying yourself."

You turned your attention back to Yoongi, considering his point and then saying, "I'm comfortable. I feel comfortable out here with you, where it's much quieter other than the street noises below. You make me feel comfortable, Yoongi."

Despite the chilly December temperature, Yoongi's face never felt more warmed.

"You make me feel comfortable too, (Y/N)," he whispered. He saw your expression change as he spoke; you now looked genuinely content than how you were acting inside.

You maintained eye contact with the boy in front of you, taking in every feature on his face; the way his eyes looked in the moonlight, the small roundness of his nose, his cheekbones slightly flushed, his lips.

You'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't find Min Yoongi attractive. From the moment you first saw him, you had been entranced by his performance on the piano; and it grew every minute after. Beginning to learn more about him as a person just made your admiration grow stronger.

"Forgive me if I'm being too forward, but could I kiss you?"

Your eyes widened for a split second as you processed the words leaving Yoongi's mouth, but you found yourself nodding before you could verbalize your thoughts.

Yoongi brought his hand gently to the side of your face, grazing your hair out of the way before he leaned in to connect your lips. His hand was cold from standing outside, but his lips were hot; you relished in the feeling of moving your mouth against his. He tasted slightly of beer but smelled of vanilla and musk.

You finally parted but kept your bodies close. You noticed how your hand made its way to his arm while his other one was delicately resting on your waist.

"Was that okay?" Yoongi timidly asked, not removing his gaze from you, your noses barely brushing.

"That was wonderful, Yoongi. The best birthday present," you smiled up at him and wrapped your arms around his torso.

"I can think of something better," he began, taking in the cute tilt to your head as you questioned his thoughts. "How about I take you out for dinner later this week. Does Saturday night work for you?"

You hummed like you were in deep thought, earning a light chuckle from the boy in your arms. "Tomorrow? I'll agree to dinner on one condition."

"And what might that be?"

You smoothed your thumb against his side, suddenly taking an interest in the collar of his jacket, "Could you kiss me again on Saturday?"

Now Yoongi was the one to pretend to be in profound consideration, finally replying, "I guess you'll have to wait to find out. But the odds seem likely. I like you a lot, (Y/N)."

"Good," you giggled, pulling him closer into your embrace, "I like you too. Otherwise, that whole interaction would have been uncomfortable."

Yoongi squeezed you back and smiled at your words, already wanting to kiss you once more without waiting for Saturday.

••

[luna-eclipse2000]

How I met your mother Armin x reader, modern AU

*Based off an episode of Criminal Minds where Spencer Reid has to have a normal conversation with someone, causing him to meet a girl in a park

——————————————————————————

Armin POV

“Daddy!” I hear my children call out to me as they run into my office. I put my pen down and swivel in my seat onto have two blond heads of hair jump up, and sit on my lap. “Ok, ok!” I say with a laugh. “Did you make mommy mad?”

“No.” (s/n) says with a shake of his head, causing his hair to move across his forehead. He looks exactly like me from when I was a child, and (s/n) has her mother’s (e/c) eyes. “But we wanna know how you met her!” (d/n) tells me. “You want to know how we met?” I ask surprised. “You won’t find it yucky?”

“Nuh-uh!” They respond in unison. “Alright, but I’m holding your word to it.” I tells them.

~~~

“Armin,” My best friend, Eren, says my name from my doorway. “Do you want to come to the lakeshore with Mikasa and I?

“I have to study for my European geography test.” I answer him from my desk, slumped over my review sheets. “Yeesh, dude. There’s so many mugs in this room, we might get a weather network coming to take a reading soon.” Eren says as he looks around my room.

I have sticky notes of various colours and sizes absolutely everywhere, text books piled high, and over five mugs of coffee- some hot, some cold, and some finished. Mikasa, Eren and I are roommates for college, deciding that renting an apartment would be better for us than on-campus residence.

“Alright, buddy.” Eren says as I hear him enter my room. “C’mon, let’s go.” I feel him start to wheel my chair out of my room. “You need to get out of this room for more than coffee and a piss.”

“Eren! This test is important!” I inform him as we head down the hall. “If I fail, I could lose my chance at being a geography professor!”

“You’ll ace this test just like every other one you’ve ever had in your life. Don’t stress yourself out.” Eren tells me as we stop in the living room. I sigh in defeat, knowing that that fact is correct. “Armin, get changed.” Mikasa orders. “You look horrible.”

“Fine. I’ll be right back.” I say and head back to my room. “If you’re not out in five minutes, I’m coming to get you!” Eren calls after me. I get out my blue sweater, jeans, white button up and socks. I then head into the washroom and cringe at my unhygienic look. “When was the last time I brushed my hair? My teeth?” I ask myself as I apply toothpaste to my toothbrush and start to scrub.

I then brush out my messy hair, and clean my glasses. I then head back to the living room to put my shoes on so we can leave.

~~~

We’ve been out for about an hour and I’m already itching to get back home. “Are we almost ready to go?” I ask my friends. “For the last time, Armin, no.” Mikasa deadpans. “You need to let loose, man.” Eren says. “Maybe you need to... you know...”

He moves his hands to try and emphasize what he’s saying but I don’t understand at all. “Become a mime?” I ask slowly. “No! A girlfriend!” Eren finally spits it out. “Eren, no way!” I disagree. “I’m way too socially awkward to even talk to a girl! Besides, must I remind you about my last date? Grade 11, Marley’s Diner, Annie Leonhart?”

“Oh, right, she threw that milkshake on you and called you a mop-headed idiot.” Eren remembers. “But that was four years ago, Armin.” Mikasa reminds me. “You don’t have any friends outside of me and Eren, so you stay inside and study to deal with your crippling loneliness.”

“I would’ve probably gone softer but, yeah.” Eren agrees and I pout. “So, here’s what’s gonna happen.” Eren starts. “You’re going to stay outside for six hours, I’ll have a timer going, and you’re going to try and have a conversation with a stranger. Have it in the Starbucks line as you wait for your drink, go to a bookstore and talk to someone about how good the one they picked up is, I don’t really care. Just have a conversation.”

“And if you don’t, I’m going to beat your ass.” Mikasa promises. I nod in acceptance because I know she’ll drop me like a hot potato. You don’t become a self-defence instructor for nothing. “Great! See you at 5!” Eren says and walks away with Mikasa as he puts his phone in his back pocket after setting the timer. I just stand there awkwardly for a few seconds before walking towards the street.

“There’s a good bookstore down the street. I’ll just go hang out there for a bit.” I say to myself as I start to walk towards it. “Oh, damnit all!” I hear someone shout. The tone of the voice causes me to search it out and I see a young woman with (h/l) (h/c) hair walk into the sidewalk. “Of course it decided to break down. Can’t have one nice day, can I?”

I feel bad for her so I decide to see if I can help. “Uh... is everything alright?”

She looks at me with the brightest (e/c) eyes and prettiest face I’ve ever seen. “Oh, no.” She dismisses kindly with frustration lacing her voice. “My car decided to break down and I don’t live signing walking distance. Thank you, though.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I apologize. “It’s not your fault, this old fucker was about ready to expire for the past year or so. I just don’t want to pay the towing fee.” She says. “I’m absolutely drowning in student loans.”

I see hear start to tear up a bit as she starts to get a bit overwhelmed. “Hey, hey, hey. Look at me.” I tell the girl softly and she does. “Take some deep breaths, just like me. Watch me.”

I take a deep breath in and then slowly release it. She copies what I do. “There we go. How about you go do something relaxing to get your mind off this for a while?” I suggest. She nods. “Did you want to join me?” She asks me in such a cute voice that I can’t respond. “If you’re not doing anything, of course! You just... seemed to be by yourself, too.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. My friends ditched me because they want me to get out and meet people because I’ve got crippling loneliness’.” I say the last part dramatically. She giggles at me. “Then let’s be lonely together! I’m (y/n).”

“Armin. It’s nice to meet you.” I say and then we start to walk away from the car. “So, where did you want to go?”

“Well, I’m a bit hungry. There’s a nice bistro down the street next to a cute little bookstore. Wanna have some lunch?” (Y/n) asks me. I nod my head, so we head towards the bistro in a comfortable silence. Once we get a table, I decide to ask her something. “You mentioned student loans, so you’re in college, right? What for?”

“Oh, I’m in for (dream job). I go to Paradis College.” She informs me. “No way! That’s where I go to school! (“Really? That’s so cool! What for?”) Geography. I want to be a professor for it at a private school my parents taught at. I was going to go into history, since I love it, but then I decided on geography because I love it more. I originally wanted to be a history director at a museum on the Titan Era.” I tell her. “Oh, wow! I could never pay attention to that unit I’m high school, I was too scared.” She admits with an embarrassed blush. “Cute.”

“At first, I was the same. It was such a nerve wracking time for humanity. But then I remembered that there were people who swallowed their fear and actually faced the titans.” I say. “True, yeah. Isn’t it funny?” (F/n) asks me rhetorically. “We’ve only known each other an hour at this point, yet we’re talking like old friends.”

I give an airy laugh and nod at her true statement.

~~~

We end up hanging out for the whole six hours that I was bound to the outside world. But I didn’t want to let her go yet, not meaning to sound creepy. “Guess I better call for a tow truck now.” She says as we make it back to her car. I nod and watch her pull out her phone. “Alright, Armin, think! Use that high IQ of yours and think of a way to see her again!... Just ask for her number, idiot!” I come up with my plan as she hangs up her phone. “Goddamnit. (“What’s wrong?”) They say that I can’t ride with them to the auto shop.” She tells me as she runs a hand through her hair. “Well, I can drive you home once they get here.” I offer. “You’re so sweet, Armin. Thank you.” She thanks me. “It’s no problem. I like hanging out with you.” I admit shyly. “So, uh, can I have your number? So we can talk more?”

“Of course! Here.” She hands over her phone to me. “You put yours in mine and I’ll put mine in yours.”

I take her phone and then unlock mine before handing it over to her. “There we go.” I say to myself as I save it and hand hers back. Right as we finish, the truck comes and tows (y/n) car away. “Thank you!” She calls after them. It’s then that I remember that I don’t have a car. “Oh, shit. I, uh... I just remembered that I don’t have a car with me...”

(Y/n) starts to laugh at the situation, and I find myself doing the same. “I’ll call us a cab.” I say through fits of laughter. She nods and wipes tears away from her eyes.

~~~

We get into the cab and make it to her house rather quickly. “Well, I’ll see you some other time, Armin.” (Y/n) says. “Let me get the door for you.” I offer as I leave my side and open her door. “You’re such a gentleman.” (Y/n) says as she exits the car. I take a breath as I come up with a last second effort to get to stay with her longer. “Then would you consider joining me for dinner tonight? I’ll have my car so there won’t be won’t be a cab pulling up.” I ask. She gives me that beautiful smile of here that I’ve melted over every time she’s done it. “What time will you be here and what should I wear?”

On the outside, I’m slightly giddy with excitement, but on the inside I’m celebrating the hell out of this moment. “Does 6:30 work? (“Mhm.”) Want to go to Braus’ Kitchen? The owner’s an old friend of mine, but my roommates see her fairly often.” I suggest. “Then I’ll see you at 6:30, Armin.” (Y/n) tells me and then kisses my cheek before heading into her apartment building.

~~~

“And that’s how I met your mother.” I finish telling them the story. They look in awe at it which causes me to giggle. “Armin! Baby!” I hear (y/n) call from the living room. “Yes, sweetie?” I respond. “No! The baby!” (Y/n) restates. “The baby?” I ask quietly before realizing. “THE BABY! OOOOH KAY! Ok!”

I take the kids off my lap. “I’m gonna call Uncle Mikasa and Aunt Eren- I mean, Uncle Eren and Aunt Mikasa to watch you as I take mommy to go have your new baby sister, ok?” I tell them and then bolt out of my office to get the hospital bag from the master bathroom while calling Eren to watch the kids.

[calm-and-wine]

(I’ll give you) the best years

part III (masterlist, taglist)

Hiya, I hope everyone is well and taking care of themselves. Here is the third part of Nulu’s adventures, I think there will be five or six parts total, we’ll see how things play out. Hope you like it and please come talk to me about anything, any thoughts, comments, opinions, I’d love to hear them!

PART III

March 2024

As Lucy was standing outside hotel room number 174, she felt positively giddy. She was about to see her husband, who she hasn’t seen for three months, since he came to cheer her during her winning run at the Australian Open. However, there was a teeny tiny part of her that felt nervous. Niall had no idea she was about to knock on his door. What if he didn’t like the surprise? Every rational cell in her body laughed at her, more than sure that he would always be happy to see her.

There was a rustle inside after she knocked, which made her smile, just knowing how clumsy her husband can be, especially when fumbling around.

The door was pulled open, revealing Niall, his head obstructed for a second, before he pulled down his t-shirt, which he must have just grabbed to put on.

“Lulu?” he asked with a groggy voice, which along with his messed up hair and outfit consisting of boxers and said t-shirt, let her know he was probably sleeping. Which wasn’t very surprising, as it was just about seven in the morning.

“I heard you’ve got some spare room in your bed,” she barely managed to get the sentence out before Niall pulled her into him for a warm hug, taking a step back with her safe in his arms, so he could close the door behind them.

The hotel room was almost dark, the only source of light being a bedside lamp. They were both quiet, lost in the moment, in the warmth and smell of their partner, the closeness they had been missing. Niall smelt slightly of sweat, with a trace of his perfume and peppermint, indicating he had been opting for a morning shower, which Lucy was kind of glad about, because he just smelt like Niall. As much as she loved a freshly showered Niall, his skin slightly pink from hot water and smelling of orange body wash, this was the smell of home, of his body, and there was nothing better.

His back was hunched a little, so he could rest his chin on her shoulder, his arms wound tightly around the base of her waist, while her nose was hidden in the intersection of his neck and shoulder, her hand playing with the ends of his hair.

“Did I wake you?” she asked, her voice soft like honey in his ear.

He hummed, but didn’t pull away, if anything, tried to pull her even closer. “Mmm, not sure, might still be dreaming.”

His words made Lucy grin, the fact that he thought of her as a vision, someone from his dreams. She made use of the position she was in and bit on his shoulder to show him the situation they were in was real.

“Aw!” he whined slightly surprised, but she knew he was just pretending to be hurt, she didn’t even let her teeth sink into his skin. And he didn’t even flinch or made a move to pull away. “Okay, I’m definitely not dreaming, thanks for that.” He finally pulled back slightly, but kept his hands on her waist to still keep her close, before finally taking a look at her, hair in a bun, one of his sweaters on her body. “Are you tired? Had a good flight?”

Before she answered, she raised onto her tiptoes and went in for a kiss, Niall’s mouth tasting like a mix of toothpaste and sleep, but it was so nice to be able to kiss him again, she prolonged the kiss until they were both breathless.

When they disconnected, she responded. “Not really, five hours with a screaming baby on board.” She pouted, but she’d actually take all the crying babies if it gave her a few days with her husband.

“Let’s go to bed, then. Talk later, yeah?” he proposed, grabbing her suitcase and placing it next to his own in the corner of a room.

She already took off her sweater and when Niall pulled off his t-shirt, she simply outstretched her hand for the piece of clothing, which he handed her with a smile, always loving seeing his wife in his clothes. They got into bed without any other words shared, wrapping their bodies around each other with no problem, like it was in their muscle memory, finding perfect spots to fit with the other person. Lucy was so tired, her mind started slipping into sleep right away, but she still felt Niall plant a sweet kiss at the crown of her head, resulting in her lips curling into a smile.

~~

Lucy woke up the very same way she fell asleep, with Niall’s kisses.

“Wakey wakey, love,” he whispered right into her ear, making a smile appear on her lips, even though her eyes were still closed.

“What time is it?” she asked, her mouth stretching with a yawn right after.

“Just before noon, I have to leave in a bit over an hour. Just ordered us breakfast, it should be here in twenty.”

She finally opened her eyes, a perfect picture of freshly showered Niall, his hair still damp, kneeling right beside her on the bed, looking at her with her favourite smile of his, the look in his eyes reserved solely for her.

“Mmm, okay, I’m gonna shower real quick, then,” she said sitting up, stretching her arms above her head. She needed to get rid of that airplane stench that always clung to her body after flights.

Niall holded her by the waist before she could make a move to get up and off the bed, putting his other hand on the back of her neck before leaning down for a good morning kiss. “Now you can go,” he said, pulling away after a few more kisses and pecks.

“What’s the plan for today?” she asked, going to grab some clothes and toiletries from her suitcase.

“Well, I’m gonna go check if everything is ready for tomorrow, then I’m doing some press for the tournament on the grounds, should be done pretty early though.”

She didn’t just come to see Niall because she missed him, although that was always the main reason. No, she came to truly show her support. His management was co-creator of a new golf tournament that Niall personally was very involved with, making it all come together and be the best it could possibly be. It was a bit of a new role for him, one that he was excited about, because he wanted to be more involved with his company, but it was also a new territory, which made him stressed and nervous.

“Can I tag along?” she asked, stopping by the bathroom, her hip leaning on the doorway.

He raised his brows. “Of course. Don’t you need to train though?”

“Nah,” she dismissed it right away, but when Niall kept looking at her with scrunched brows, she continued, “I need to do one workout a day, but I’ll just go to the gym tonight or whenever we’re back. Don’t worry about it.”

It looked like Niall mulled over in his head whether to speak up or keep quiet, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. But he took a step closer to Lucy, leaning his arm on a wall not too far and sighed. “Love.” His voice was gentle, like he didn’t want to scare her with his words. “I’m very happy with the surprise, it’s amazing to have you here, but shouldn’t you be playing a tournament in a few days?”

She sighed, but gave him a soft, knowing smile. Sometimes she wondered if they cared about each other’s careers more than their own. Always happy to be together, but also hating the thought that their partner sacrificed possible successes.

“No, I haven’t committed to it. I need a few days off,” she explained. “I’ve also been coming down with a cold or something the last couple of days. It seems to be all better now, but I just wanted a bit of rest. And I wanted to be here for you. Like you are for me so often. It’s a big deal, your tournament. I wouldn’t miss it.”

“But -”

“Don’t.” She cut him off, already knowing what he was about to say and not wanting him to get too wrapped up in his head.

None of them wanted the other person’s career to suffer because of the long distance nature of their relationship. Lucy always had this worry that she didn’t support Niall enough, didn’t show up for him the same way he did for her. While he feared that she’s purposefully saying no to some tournaments or isn’t training the way that would be the best for her, just to come see him or spend more time together. One could say it was funny, how they both blamed themselves, but never the other person. It was a subject they revisited often, giving each other the very needed reassurance.

But in the end, they just needed to trust that their partner is honest and knows what’s best for them, so if Lucy said it’s okay that she’s here, Niall accepts it with a nod of his head and one last kiss before finally letting her go shower.

~~

The whole tournament was a success and Lucy couldn’t be any prouder of her husband. And every success like that deserved a party. It was a bit spontaneous, people deciding to go celebrate soon after the trophy ceremony. It was the best kind of party, though. Quite casual, just a lot of people inviting their friends and colleagues and going to a club together. Lucy, dressed in jeans and red silk shirt, didn’t feel out of place.

She had never been a party animal, didn’t go to college and didn’t party in high school, as she always had training to go to or homework to catch up on, she wasn’t much of a drinker either (as she needed to keep her body in the best shape possible), but she never complained about going out with Niall. Even though she wasn’t flourishing in social situations, Niall was a bit of a social butterfly and she enjoyed watching him like that, working a room, talking to all those people, making conversation with ease and emitting laughs from his companions. The fact that he either kept her close and engaged in his conversations or often made his way around a room to check on her if they were separated, helped tremendously.

Like now, when he showed up by her side, wrapping both hands around her middle and propping his cheek on her shoulder before twisting his head slightly to land a kiss on her cheek. They separated a while ago, after having a drink together, a bit of dancing and some talks with people handling the business side of sports (which Niall made sure to include her in, because he thought it’d be good for her future plans). Later on, she let him wander off, while she stayed with people she already knew, Aisha and Lena, who she met on a few occasions, as they were working for modest!golf, Ryan, who handled PR for that tournament and his boyfriend, David.

At the start of their relationship, when they were going out, Niall had used to be worried about her, trying to constantly keep her by his side, so she wouldn’t feel left out or abandoned. Not because she couldn’t handle herself, but he simply wanted her to feel comfortable. But with time, he noticed, learned, that she was alright left on her own, as long as there was someone else she was familiar with. When they were out with their London friends, she always ended up gossiping, dancing, or, as Niall calls it ‘wreaking havoc’ with Laura.

Lucy wasn’t engrossed with the story that David was retelling, she heard it a day before when they were hanging out during a tournament, so she reached her hand behind to thread through Niall’s slightly sweaty hair and twisted her head to look at him, cheeks pink from alcohol and the temperature in the room, he looked absolutely adorable.

“Gin?” he asked, spotting a glass in her hand.

“Water,” she replied, before taking notice of his hooded eyes. “You could probably use some.”

Niall took a small step to put a little space between them, just to see her better, but his one hand was still wound around her. He smiled taking her glass, enamoured by how she always took care of him, even through the small things.

“I thought you were drinking tonight?” he asked, handing her the glass back after drinking half of its contents.

They were still standing beside her previous company, but were facing each other, while the rest of the group still talked among themselves, giving them a somewhat private moment.

“Yup,” Lucy nodded, “I already had two gins. And some wine back at the tournament. Can’t really have more.”

Niall hummed in understanding. “But you’re having fun though?”

She smiled, placing her hand on his chest, his shirt sticking slightly to his body. She could feel the heat of his skin through the material, always searching for more connection with her husband. Instead of giving a straight out reply, she leaned up slightly, her small heels giving her a few more inches than usual, and kissed him reasurely, both of them feeling the breaking of a smile forming on their lips, which made it a bit harder, but none of them minded. Sometimes Lucy thought those might actually be her favourite kisses.

She had to gently push on his chest in order for their kiss to end, Niall always being more handsy and affectionate after a few drinks, but as easy as it would be to get lost in the moment with him, she was aware of other people around them, especially the ones right beside.

He let her pull slightly away, but still kept her close, the side of her body right against his. “Wanna go dance for a bit?” he asked after licking his lips. “I should probably sweat some of the alcohol off.”

His eyes were glistening mischievously and she had to bite on her bottom lip at the thought of not only just having fun with Niall on the dancefloor, but especially his undeniably wandering hands and stolen kisses. “Yeah.”

Niall already took a step away, when Aisha spoke up. “Oi, but be sure to bring her back to us!” she howled, Ryan sending a suggestive wink their way, which made Niall burst out with a laugh.

So they went, had fun dancing, had one more drink together, Lucy had some conversations with Niall’s colleagues from the golf world, then they both went back to her earlier group, talked a bit with them, before Niall was called to join other colleagues.

After a while, Lucy was sitting alone, replying to Mia and shooting a quick update text to her parents. Her earlier group discarded a bit, with Ryan and David leaving, Aisha calling her boyfriend, who was back in London, and Lena making moves on the dancefloor with a guy she’s been flirting with throughout the night. She didn’t mind too much though, enjoying a moment of peace and quiet, well, as much quiet as you could get in a club.

She was quite engrossed with her phone, so she didn’t notice Niall approaching, only aware of his presence once he sat down right next to her.

“Hi,” he said, slouching down to rest his head on her shoulder.

“Hello mister.” She put the phone back into her purse and looked at the state of her husband. His eyes were glossy, hair a mess, probably from Niall running his fingers through it too many times. He was definitely drunk, but looked so happy and carefree, Lucy couldn’t help but feel a familiar flutter in her stomach.

She looked down at him, just as he tilted his head up, so their eyes met, both of them wearing lopsided smiles. Lucy reached her hand to play with his hair, which made Niall hum happily, his eyes closed with content.

They just sat like that for a minute, but Lucy eventually spoke up, becoming worried that he’d fall asleep in a moment. “Want me to take you home?” she asked.

Niall looked up at her, when she pulled her hand away from his hair, eyes hooded, but surprisingly focused on her, and nodded. “Yes, please.” His voice was soft and sleepy, so she pulled out her phone to call for a car.

“Okay, we need to wait ten minutes, so please don’t fall asleep on me. Tell me about your night. Did you have a good time?”

He nodded again. “Yeah. So nice. And I’m so happy you’re here.” Even though he could barely keep his eyes open, he easily found a good spot on her neck to kiss and nibble on. “Everything’s always better when we’re together.”

She sighed. “It really is.”

They stayed quiet after that, until the car arrived, then Lucy had to support Niall with her arm around his waist, so he didn’t stumble over his own feet or anything else and got home safe. Some girlfriends or wives would probably complain about that, having to take care of their drunk partners, getting them home, making sure they had water and painkillers, or rubbing their back when they were hunched over a toilet emptying their stomach. But in a way, Lucy cherished those moments. Sure, maybe they weren’t the most pleasurable, but they were so simple and normal, she yearned for them. He was her husband and she didn’t mind taking care of his drunk ass. That’s what true love was all about, wasn’t it?

July 2024

When Niall finally called her back, he was just getting comfy on the couch, his house half dark, as always, the light from TV illuminating his figure. “Sorry I didn’t answer, love. Was working late in the studio and hadn’t even noticed that my phone died. How are you? You okay? I’m sorry about your match.”

She tried calling him right after her loss, feeling shitty and yearning for some love and support. But all three of her calls went unanswered, which wasn’t that surprising considering their lifestyles. It was moments like that when for a moment she wished their relationship was different. That they would always be able to be there for each other. Sometimes work and timezones made it difficult, they knew that, so in the end none of them was ever mad in situations like that, even though it could be frustrating at times.

She nodded and gave Niall a reassuring smile, but didn’t say anything on the topic. “What are you working on? You’ve been in the studio quite a bit lately, making an album after all?”

“Um.. Don’t know yet, really. Just kinda working, seeing where it’ll go.” He was looking away, his hand going to the back of his neck, almost like he was nervous, which made Lucy frown. It was an innocent question, usually he wouldn’t shut up if he had a good session, playing her the track or sharing some of the lyrics. She knew he wasn’t sure yet what he wanted to do right now, not necessarily ready for another album and tour, so maybe it was just that making him a bit anxious.

“Well it certainly looks like fun,” she said easily, her face breaking out into a smile remembering the picture she got sent earlier. “I saw you recording half naked, courtesy of Louis.”

“Tommo?” his brows pulled together, bewildered. She nodded, which made him clear his throat, his hand going from his neck to comb through his hair. “Yeah, well, um..” he licked his lips before continuing, “we had dinner and I was going back to the studio, so he just tagged along for a bit.”

“That sounds nice.” She could see that Niall got a bit weird about it, for whatever reason, so she decided to change the subject completely. “What are we doing for September? Are you planning to fly down, baby?”

“Umm.. Not sure yet, but I actually don’t think so,” he said nibbling on his fingernail, which she knew was a nervous habit of his. “I have quite a few studio sessions lined up and then things will be so crazy, getting everything ready and doing promo, the event is like three days after our anniversary. It’s too close, I’d say.” There was another Horan & Rose fundraising dinner happening in September. which made Niall even more of a busy man.

“Oh.. okay. I thought you’ll be able to come for the US Open, like we talked, but I get it.” She gave him a weak smile, because honestly, as much as seeing Niall, even through the phone screen, was always so nice, this conversation was not making her feel better, at all. Maybe they were just both tired. Maybe she was getting irritated for no real reason. But it felt like they were not on the same page today, not even close, and that kind of drift between them didn’t happen often.

“Yeah, I know, I wanted to, but some things came up and I don’t think I can make it now,” Niall said, huffing. Lucy wondered if he was annoyed or whether she was projecting her own frustration on him.

“It’s fine,” she cut off the subject, not wanting to unnecessarily dwell on it. “What about our anniversary? Are we planning anything?”

“Well, as I just said, I can’t really fly over to you.” Now she was pretty sure he was actually annoyed. And it only made her feel worse.

“I know, I heard you,” she replied, having to stop herself from rolling her eyes. “But, well, are we just gonna spend our first wedding anniversary apart, then?”

“I don’t know, Lucy.” Wow, he was hitting her with her full name. That very rarely happened and was a sign this conversation was definitely not going in the right direction. “Why does it seem like it’s my responsibility though? Am I the one that has to come to you?” He raised his voice slightly, almost getting mad. He looked away right after his words, missing the way Lucy’s face felt.

“Wait, what? That’s not what I meant, baby. You don’t have to do anything.” She tried to backtrack a bit, not wanting to get into a fight right now.

When he looked back at her, it seemed like his features softened a bit. “Well, it kinda sounded like that. Like if I don’t come to you, you just accept the fact that we’re not gonna be together for our anniversary.” Even though his voice was more levelled, there was still a bite to his words.

“That’s not it at all. You were planning on coming to New York before, I just wanted to know where we stand. And you didn’t even ask about my plans!” She was growing aggravated, but tried to remain as calm as she could, it was not the time to fight, especially about something that was ultimately mostly a misunderstanding. “You didn’t ask if I’ll be able to come home and you didn’t even invite me for your charity event, not one word about me possibly coming. You just assumed I want you to fly to me, while I simply asked if we’re planning anything. Please, don’t turn it into something that it isn’t.” Her last sentence sounded almost like a plea, but she didn’t even care, feeling tired and vulnerable.

There was a silence on the line for a moment, none of them even looking at the other, just taking a breath and trying to collect their own thoughts. When Lucy opened her eyes back up, after getting her emotions in check, Niall was already looking at her, his face noticeably softened.

“I’m really sorry, it slipped my mind, I guess? I’d love to have you with me there, you gotta know that, just didn’t want you to feel like you have to come. Well, would you be able to come home for our anniversary?” he asked sheepishly, his hand going to his hair once again.

“Yeah, I think so. The next thing I’m playing after the US Open is China, which is like three weeks later. I’ll need to get there a few days earlier to prepare, but I could come home for about two weeks. Just in time for your birthday and our anniversary.” When she finished speaking, Niall’s face finally lightened up with a true smile, for what felt like the first time that day. Lucy wondered if maybe she should have started with that piece of information, instead of asking him, but what’s done is done.

“That would actually be perfect, love.”

There were another few beats of silence, during which Lucy contemplated asking a question that she couldn’t shake out of her head, trapping her bottom lip between her teeth, wondering whether she should ask, even though she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to know the answer.

“Do you really think that?” she asked eventually, something in her truly broken by his earlier words, having her biggest fear about their relationship almost thrown in her face. “Do you feel like I just expect you to always come to me?”

The smile on his face was momentarily gone. Even through the dim lights in his room, Lucy could see the apologetic look in his eyes.

“Lulu,” he started, lowering his head in shame for a minute, before licking his lips and continuing, “no, I don’t. You know how worried I am whenever you’re coming somewhere to see me, I hate seeing you miss training or giving yourself less time to adjust to different courts and places, just to be with me. I’m… I’m so sorry I made you feel that way, I really am. I won���t be winning any husband of the year award, will I?”

“There’s some room for improvement,” she smiled lighthardly, her mind a little bit more at ease. “But I’d still take you over any other possible husband.”

He laughed at that, his very own belly laugh that was so him, it made her eyes water. She missed him. It was the magic of their relationship, never truly fighting, trying to resolve issues as soon as possible. And once they did, they just went back to normal right away, no tension left between them.

“I love you, Lulu,” he said, his voice longing. “And I’m sorry, truly. I think I’ve just misunderstood you. It’s hard to read you correctly through the phone all the time. And to be honest, I’m just tired and I miss you.”

It wasn’t even that long since they’ve seen each other, less than three weeks since she played at Wimbledon. But she missed him after weeks apart and she missed him after a few hours, just the same.

“I’m sorry too,” Lucy said, not willing to put all the blame on him. “I think I should just go to sleep, I had a shit day,” she huffed. It wasn’t even that late, but she was tired, both physically and mentally, so maybe it was best to just put an end to this day.

“Because of the match? Or something more?” Niall asked, concerned.

“Well, yeah, but it’s not even about losing, just…” she sighed, not even wanting to think about what happened, but also feeling the need to share with her husband. “It was a tough one, hard battle, and I don’t think I played well, my backhand was non-fucking-exsisting.” She could still feel the frustration from the match cursing through her veins, making her irritated again. “And on top of that, my knee is acting up, because I twisted it a bit, I misstepped in the middle of the second set and it hurts like a bitch still.”

“What? Are you okay?” It only took a second for Niall to panic, trying to examine her body, even though he saw only a small part of it, not even anywhere near her knee. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It’s gonna be alright,” she assured, “but I had to withdraw from Montreal to give it some rest. It sucks.”

“I’m so sorry, Lulu,” he said earnestly. A second after, his brows furrowed in thought. “But wait, you said it happened in the second set? Didn’t you win that one?”

She laughed. “Yeah, I did. But the third one was a disaster, I don’t even wanna talk about it anymore. It’s enough that I’m gonna have to relive it one more time for training and learning.”

“Where are you going next, then?”

“I’m gonna fly to Cincinnati, rest up and start training there. I have a week, so it doesn’t make sense to fly home for a day or two.”

He sighed, “Yeah, I get it. Okay, let’s go to bed, we could both use some sleep. Do you want to stay on?” he asked. It was something they didn’t do very often, time zones and different working hours making it impossible, but sometimes they liked to stay on skype, putting their laptops on the other pillow and having that smallest resemblance of falling asleep together.

“Yes, please,” she said, warmth spilling inside her body just at the suggestion, her husband always knowing what she needs.

They both just got up to move to the bedroom or bathroom, not even contemplating ending the call, going through their routines, but staying connected, enjoying the simplicity and intimacy, even through the phone.

September 2024

The second day she was home after the US Open, Lucy woke Niall up at the unholy hour of five in the morning. He was not happy, but his wife was the only person he could forgive such an atrocity. She was something else, waiting with breakfast on the table, ordering him to get into a car right after, having packed their bags and being very secretive.

“Love, what is going on? Come on, I need to know where we’re going,” he whined. He was the one driving, but so far she’s been just giving him directions.

She gave him a big smile, her hand resting on his tight, feeling the heat radiating from his body. “Okay, okay. Well, as it is your birthday tomorrow, I’ve got a little surprise,” she smiled wickedly. When he raised his brows, she continued, “As we said we wanna do more road trips, I’ve decided we’ll go to our little house for a small vacation, celebrate your birthday and our anniversary, before coming back on Thursday.” Niall opened his mouth to protest, but she gave his leg a squeeze to stop him. “Don’t worry, I spoke to Aisha and Justin, they got it all under control, they’ll call if they’ll need anything from you. Sorry to break it to you, baby, but it turns out you’re not irreplaceable after all.”

“Well, I just hope I’m irreplaceable to you,” he gave her a grin, reaching for her hand to plant a kiss on her fingers.

They bought a cottage in Ireland at the end of last year, just like they planned on their honeymoon. It was an hour and a half outside of Dublin, hidden away from prying eyes, a house full of silence and peace, a perfect getaway place.

After they arrived, they had coffee in the backyard, before moving to the kitchen to make dinner, having stopped for some groceries on their way.

“I’ve actually got some news that I need to share,” Niall said, looking over at Lucy who was chopping the vegetables, while he took care of a piece of chicken.

“What is it?” she asked.

“I, um…” he stuttered, halting his actions, but keeping his head down on the chopping board. “We’re reuniting the band.”

“The band? As in One Direction?” Lucy asked bewildered.

“Yeah.” Niall finally lifted his head, his lip trapped between his teeth. She didn’t understand why he seemed so nervous. It was good news, right?

“Baby!” She put the knife down to go and hug him. “That’s amazing! How did it happen? I want the whole story! What’s the plan?” She was so excited, she couldn’t stop the questions.

He chuckled, but it was a nervous sound, which she noticed especially when he took a hand from her waist and put it on the back of his neck. “Umm… We’ve actually been working together for a bit now.”

“Wait, what? Just…” her brows furrowed in confusion. She took a step back, her spine leaning against the counter. “When did this happen?”

“Well…” He licked his lips and took a deep breath. This time he wasn’t avoiding her eyes, but he seemed embarrassed by what he was about to say. “Okay, so I’ve met with Tommo and he was gonna go meet Liam in the studio later that day, so I tagged along and we just started messing about and actually wrote something and it just…” He shook his head like he still couldn’t believe it, a small laugh escaping from his lips. “God, Lulu, it felt so good, you know? It just felt right. So we kinda started talking about it, it was a lot of maybes and ‘should we’s and stuff like that… But obviously we wouldn’t do anything without Harry and I was supposed to grab lunch with him that week anyway, which was kinda perfect. So I told him about it and he’s actually started working on his new album, but he was struggling and he agreed to go to the studio with us all and just see what’ll happen. And I kid you not, magic happened. I’d say it took us like two or three weeks to actually write something decent, but it was so fun and natural. We talked more about it, you know, got into logistics a little more and yeah, that was it.”

Niall was rambling, his eyes almost shining with excitement, no sign of his earlier nervousness, a smile taking over his face. But Lucy’s expression was nowhere near as happy. Thoughts clouding her mind, trying to put his story together.

“Just when did it happen, Niall?” she asked, her voice calm, even though her insides were practically turning.

“Um… So…” he went back to embarrassed, maybe even a bit scared by her reaction. “That was in July, remember that photo Louis sent you?” Lucy nodded simply, her lips tightly pressed together. “Yeah, we were all in the studio then, I think it was the first week or so.”

“It’s been going on for two months and you haven’t even mentioned it to me? What the fuck?” She was exasperated now, not even hiding it, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes cold.

He looked down, not able to handle her gaze. “I… It felt like something that should be said face to face, you know?” He shrugged.

She shook her head. “Two months, Niall. That’s a shit load of time.” Her words were bitter, full of sorrow.

At least he had a decency to look apologetic. “I.. I know. I wanted to tell you when I saw you, and then Louis sent that picture and I got a bit stressed, and I actually yelled at him because of that, but then he gave me a lot of shit for not telling you. Which made me feel super guilty, but it just felt kinda like I dug myself a hole, you know? I couldn’t tell you over the phone then, because why didn’t I tell you right away, if it’d still be on the phone? So I just… I don’t know, really, I waited.”

The fact that he couldn’t even explain his reasoning properly made Lucy feel even worse about the whole situation. It didn’t make sense to her, because she thought after all this time, having as much experience in a long distance relationship as they had, he should have known better.

“We don’t do that, Niall, we just don’t,” she said, a bit more calm now, but far from being over it. “It can’t be like that. It’s such a huge thing, I actually can’t believe you kept it from me for two months. I know some things are just better shared face to face, but we’re in the situation where we can’t afford to do that. I thought you knew better.”

“Yeah,” he said, ashamed, but reached for her hand, like he needed the contact more than ever, just wanting to make it better. “I’m actually sorry about that. I just… I don’t know, like, I think maybe I was scared nothing would come out of it, you know? Because it felt unreal at the beginning and then felt like it was too late to tell you… I made a mistake, yeah, I admit that.”

She let him take her hand, but made no move to get closer to him, even though he did try to pull her lightly. It wasn’t a huge betrayal or anything like that, she could see he was sorry and saw his mistake, but it still stung.

“I.. I think I’m gonna go for a walk,” she said, taking a step away, but he gripped her hand more tightly, not letting her get completely away from him.

“Lulu, please, don’t walk away,” he started, voice and eyes pleading. “I get that you’re mad -”

“I’m not mad,” she interrupted him, “I promise I’m not. But I am hurt. Because I can imagine how excited you were, I know how much the band means to you. And it just sucks that you didn’t share that with me. I would have supported you for those two months, I would have had your back and would have listened to all of your insecurities and worries. And it just makes me really sad that you didn’t want that,” she admitted, trying to explain her feelings the best she could.

“I did!” Niall exclaimed. “I swear I did, it just…” he sighed, taking a step forward, so he was right in front of her, but not making a move to touch her beside the hand he was still holding. “I was just being stupid. You know I can be like that sometimes.”

“I just need a minute, okay? I’m alright, I promise, just need to sort through my thoughts. I won’t be long,” she assured him, stepping up onto her toes and planting a kiss on his cheek.

He let her slip her fingers away and watched her walk away, her back hunched, so different from her usual near perfect posture sculptured by years of playing.

She wasn’t gone long, thankful to the universe for her phone still in the pocket of her jacket, because she did get a little lost. It was about forty minutes later when she returned, closing the door behind her. She was taking off her shoes and jacket, when Niall appeared, leaning on the doorway leading into the living room and kitchen.

“You alright?” he asked, looking at her carefully, as if he was trying to solve her mood, get a glimpse into her thoughts and feelings.

She nodded, giving him a slight smile. “Did you finish dinner?” she asked, the house filled with smells of food. She closed the distance between them, not hesitating to put her arms around his neck, having to tilt her head to look up at his face.

“Yeah, well, that’s the least I could do,” he chuckled, but it was a bit humorless.

Lucy put both of her hands on his cheeks, wanting to grasp his full attention, their eyes truly meeting. She stroked his cheeks gently, rising up to kiss him, their lips meeting slowly, the kiss tentative at first. It wasn’t one of those passionate, rushed kisses that you felt in your toes, but it’s purpose was different, it was emotional, supposed to transpire love and forgiveness, let them both know they’re okay.

“Let’s go eat,” she said when their lips parted, lacing their fingers together and leading the way into the kitchen.

“Should we talk about it?” he asked once they were sat at the table, eating.

She looked at him, swallowing her bite, before putting down her fork for a second and speaking. “There’s no sense to dwell on it really, you apologized and it’s okay. But please, don’t do it again. I know some news are better face to face, but I just want to know what’s going on in your life, always, whether it’s something big like this or the fact that you had some really good food for dinner and it made you happy. However big or small, I want to share those kinds of moments with you, that’s all.”

The walk did not only calm her, it cleared her mind as well. She took that time to consider why she was hurt, what was the worst part of the whole situation, and finally, to get over it, as it was done.

He nodded right away, reaching for her hand on the table to squeeze it reassuringly. “I have every intention to learn from that mistake,” he said earnestly, bringing her fingers to his lips. “I love you, Lulu.”

“I love you, too,” she said, feeling like she could finally exhale, the earlier hurt not completely gone, but significantly subsided. “Can I hear some of the songs you’ve made?” she asked, not even as a peace offering, she was just curious and excited, always loving to hear previews of the things Niall was working on.

“Of course, always. I have a few things on my phone, so I can play you some,” he said, his eyes sparkling again, newfound life in them. He almost always got excited when talking about music, but this was different, she could see it right away, this meant more, the band always held a special place in his heart.

“Tell me more about it all. What are the plans, then? ‘Cause I might have some news as well...” She bit her lip nervously, bringing up something that’s been on her mind more and more the last few months.

“Happy news?” he asked, brows raised in surprise.

She hummed, “hopefully, yeah.”

“Wait, oh shit, are you pregnant?” Niall’s expression was one she couldn’t read completely, one of shock, definitely, but there was something else too.

“Nooooo, no, that’s not it,” she said right away, laughing a bit that this was his first though, but it also warmed her heart a bit, his reaction not a negative one. “I, um… I’m pretty sure next year is gonna be my last season playing,” Lucy said, her eyes fixed on her husband, not wanting to miss any clue of his reaction.

“Wow,” he huffed, clearly surprised, probably even more surprised than he would have been if she told him she actually was pregnant. “That’s big news. Why next year?”

“Well, I’ve been saying I don’t want to play for that much longer. I think my knee slightly acting up again was a catalyst to this. I want to leave on my terms, not because of an injury again. And it just seems like the right time. I’m excited for the future outside the court, you know?”

Niall nodded, but was silent for a minute, clearly mulling some things over in his head.

“It’s not because of what I said earlier, is it?” he finally asked, a little sheepish, referring to their July phone call. “You know I’ll come to you whenever I can.”

She smiled warmly at him. “I know, it’s not that. It’s actually purely my decision, what I want and also what I think would be best for me. For us too, but for me as well.”

“Well, you have my full support, always. I mean, it’s a bit more complicated, ‘cause I wanted to join you for like the whole tour your last year, which I won’t be able to do, but I’ll try my best. If you want me to, that is.”

Lucy shook her head at his uncertainty. “Are you kidding me? Of course I do, always, baby. What are the plans for 1D, though?”

“Well, it’s a bit unclear, we need to see the public’s reaction first. But we want to drop a single on the band’s anniversary. Then hopefully an album by the end of the year. And then, if all goes well, tour in 2026. Definitely want things to go slower than we were used to back in the day.”

She nodded, their plans actually aligning for once, maybe not completely, but they could work with that. “I could probably join you on tour, then. If I was done playing.”

“I’d love that.” He had a huge grin on his face. It was an unexpected turn of events, but he could see it happening and although it wouldn’t be how he imagined, it had a chance to actually be good for them. “And I wouldn’t be on a super tight recording schedule, so it should be pretty easy to come see you on tour those last times. Especially for the big tournaments.”

She stood up from her chair, going round the table to sit on Niall’s lap, her hands wound tightly around his neck. “Mmm, I do like the sound of that.”

He gave her a kiss before speaking, “me too.”

Their future was still uncertain, a lot of logistics needing to be figured out, but it was all the confirmation they both needed. They’ll make it work, as always. And who knows, after next year, things might actually be a lot easier for them.

taglist: @stylishmuser​ @verorax​ @georgiahoranxx​ @exoticniall​

[animalkingdom-an0nymous]

Cruel Summer

Disclaimer: No gifs or photos are mine unless stated otherwise.

Warning: It’s a smutty, filthy, NSFW Tom Holland AU and he just can’t seem to keep his hands off his best friend’s sister. No. Really. It’s a problem for both of them.

Subject: Tom X Y/N

"Why can't you watch the beach house, Jordan?" I asked my brother with my phone tucked between my ear and shoulder, wet dishes in between my palms.

"Because you live closer, you don't have a toddler running around, and you got out of doing it last time."

"Bringing JJ into this is low, even for you. Scumbag." I laughed, not serious in the slightest.

Jordan was two years younger than me but was probably more put together than I'd ever be. He ran his own construction company, had a beautiful wife, and had given me the greatest gift I'd ever known; my nephew, JJ.

Staying at the beach house was far from a hardship, but there was a storm coming and based on the news reports it was going to get ugly. Mom and dad wanted someone there to keep an eye on things and they were getting a bit too old to handle the responsibility of tending to the beach house on their own. I didn't blame them, and I didnt blame Jordan, he was right. I did live closer, but I was also looking forward to spending this weekend's storm curled up in bed watching old Audrey Hepburn movies and eating my weight in Pizzeria Regina. My phone was gonna be on airplane mode, absolutely no disturbances. Maybe a few orgasms, a little porn.

But even as I was scrubbing dishes and getting ready for my relaxing weekend, I knew I'd soon be packing a bag and getting in my car to head to the beach. Shit. “Fine. Fine. I’ll head out soon, but if this storm turns out to be nothing I am returning your birthday present and you’re responsible for mom and dad’s anniversary dinner.”

“If you really want to trust your dear brother in the kitchen then that’s your fault.”

I laughed, drying my hands with a towel before grabbing the phone. “Jordan, can you promise me one thing?”

“What’s that, Y/N?”

“Promise to give that kid the biggest kiss for me. Leila, too.”

“Thank you for not stealing him away!” My sister-in-law’s voice traveled through the phone like a song, her Japanese accent soft.

“Love you both. Stay safe tonight.”

“Text me when you get there.”

I ended the call, tossing my phone on the bed and quickly rummaging through my closet. Thunder rumbled in the distance and the tv could be heard faintly from the living room, alerting me to the weather report. Sixty mile per hour winds, flash floods, possibility of power outages, and a storm warning was already in effect.

I quickly yanked on a pair of denim shorts and an old UMass hoodie, the maroon material worn and comfortable, and definitely not mine. There may have been a storm rolling in but the summer air was thick with humidity, so all I grabbed as alternatives were a bathing suit, another pair of shorts, and a t-shirt, tucking the materials into my backpack along with my toothbrush and phone charger.

Within minutes I was packed and ready to go, pulling the hood over my head and catching the familiar scent of someone I hadn’t seen in a while. Or, maybe it was less of a scent and more of a memory. Shrugging it away, I locked the door and bounded to my car just as the first few drops of rain began to fall.

Music flowed through the speakers as I took back roads towards the coast, something tugging at my heart a bit as I thought of the last time I’d been at the beach house. My parents, Jordan, Leila, JJ.

Tom.

I rolled my shoulders, trying to relax as an old song came on.

Fuck this. I turned the radio down, alone with my thoughts. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about Tom since the last time I saw him, since I said too much. It wasn’t a hookup, it was nothing more than a conversation. Which was fine, Tom and I were friends. Sort of. Not really. He was my brother’s friend, his best friend. And that was it.

But that didn’t mean I wasn’t sitting there suddenly drowning in thoughts about our last encounter, both of us out on the back deck long after everyone had gone to sleep, the first real conversation we’d ever had in our adult lives. I hadn’t seen him in nearly two years when we were both still in college, Tom at UMass Amherst while I attended USC. He’d moved from London to the States with his family when he was thirteen, making fast friends with Jordan and becoming like a part of the family. He was around on holidays, weekends, he practically lived at our house during the summer. He would drink my orange juice and bother me while I tried to read. I’d known him when he was annoying and pimple faced, when he was an absolute dick to anyone who wasn’t JJ, when he was going off to college. Tom had been a major part of my childhood, my formative years.

He was also the biggest player I had ever met.

From an early age he knew that girls were drawn to the accent. He used it to his advantage, had girls hanging off his every word. I’d seen his social media, saw him shirtless on beaches with different girls, in clubs with different girls, in dorm rooms with different girls. I wasn’t jealous, but only because I’d known him for years. However, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about the hype.

From the day I met him, I knew Tom Holland was trouble.

But that night, long after everyone had gone to sleep and we were two bottles of wine deep, something shifted. Maybe it was the topic of conversation, maybe it was the way the late June breeze wrapped around us, maybe it was the fucking wine. But something changed that night.

But that was two months ago.

We hadn’t spoken since.

I shook my head, telling myself to stay focused on the road, on the drive. I could still have the peaceful weekend I wanted, if only I could turn my brain off for just a bit.

I was pulling into the driveway of the beach house forty five minutes later and the rain was coming down in buckets. It was flying sideways, splashing against the car hard enough that I couldn’t see out the windshield. Thunder boomed overhead and it felt as though it was straight out of a movie.

I yanked my hood up once more and killed the engine, gripping my backpack and holding it against my chest as I looked at the house. The two story, wood shingled home was every bit the beach cottage. It was located right on a dead end, a path leading straight down to the beach.

The lights were off, the furniture on the porch scattered from the wind. I knew I’d have my work cut out for me if I needed to make sure everything was secure, so without thinking twice, I threw open the driver’s side door and jumped out, the broken shells in the driveway crunching under my sneakers. I made a beeline for the side door, running up the steps and throwing open the storm door as the wind howled around me, A regular thunderstorm was bad enough. A summer storm? It could leave the house flooded.

Unlocking the door, I threw myself inside and slammed it behind me, leaning back and catching my breath as the silent stillness of the house settled around me. Thanks to modern technology, I turned the central air on before I got there, so the air was cool against my bare legs.

I went through the motions and turned some lights on, made sure the basement was shut with bags of sand by every entrance to soak up any flood water or other leaks. The fridge was empty, but I wasn’t hungry anyway. I knew I’d disappear up to my room with a bottle of wine and Netflix on my mind soon enough, I just needed to make-

Headlights bounced off the living room walls, a sign that someone had just pulled into the driveway. Surely it wasn’t my parents, they both hated driving in the rain, and it couldn’t have been Jordan, unless he was so concerned by the weather that he felt compelled to drive over an hour to check on me.

I quickly pulled my phone out of my back pocket. No missed calls or texts. Oh, so you’re saying it’s a murderer? My mind was quickly going into overdrive, covering all the possibilities of who would be there to murder me and what I could use as a weapon to defend myself. But hey, could you blame me? Twenty five years old and alone during a storm, 20/20 basically already had that episode mapped out for me.

A car door slammed shut.

Shells were being crunched under shoes.

Pounding footsteps up the side stairs. A shadow appeared on the other side of the door and my heart leaped into my chest. I was more than prepared to call the police when I heard the familiar sound of a key being inserted into a lock. I was standing in the doorway of the living room when the side door swung open, revealing someone I most certainly wasn’t expecting to see.

“I… Tom?”

He was squinting, his face and hair soaked by the onslaught of rain outside. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

It was evident that he was just as surprised to see me as I was to see him. Tom’s accent seemed to thicken when he was angry or confused, and right now he seemed to be a mix of both.

I took in his appearance, trying not to be too obvious. He was wearing dark washed jeans and a pair of black Nikes, a simple black hoodie over a plain white t-shirt. Completely fucking effortless and still the most good looking guy in a fifty mile radius. His brown curls were matted to his forehead and he pushed them back, running his fingers through the thick trusses.

“What are you doing here?” The words came out accusatory and I cleared my throat. Relax. You’ve been in this house with him plenty of times before. “Are you... is there a girl in your car or something?”

“What?” Tom scrubbed a hand over his face, still clearly shocked and confused. “What do you- Jesus, no. You think I’d bring a girl back to your parents’ beach house, Y/N?” He finally looked at me, drops of water still catching on his long lashes. “You think I’d- hey, my jumper.”

“What?” I responded before looking down. Fuck. Me. Sideways. I was still wearing the UMass hoodie, the same UMass hoodie he’d given me last time I saw him. “Oh! Yeah, I… I brought it back to my place with me. And then Jordan called me and asked me to come here and it was right by the door, so I figured I’d… you know, bring it back here and… leave it… for you?” I was making it sound like a question.

Why was I making it sound like a question?

Are you having a fucking stroke? I asked myself as Tom blinked at me a few times, saying nothing. Lightning struck outside, momentarily blinding me as the lights flickered. Damn, losing power meant no Netflix. No Netflix meant Y/N’s chill weekend was about to go to shit. Technically, it already did because I 1) wasn’t even in my own home and 2) no longer feeling chill thanks to one british Tom.

“Jordan asked you to come?”

“Yeah, why?”

He looked around, peeking out the window. “Your parents called me and asked if I’d come make sure the house was secure.”

My parents? I was confused. Jordan specifically called me and asked me to go because he couldn’t. Why would my parents call Tom? Questions were flying through my head and I was already shrugging out of the hoodie, suddenly feeling like the material was too heavy, like I was drowning in it.

I held it out to him as he turned to face me again. “He probably didn’t call them to let them know I was coming, you know how he is.”

Tom smiled then, revealing straight white teeth. “Your brother’s a space cadet.”

That smile had my stomach doing backflips and I ached to calm down. It never used to be like this with him. He was cute, yes. Very. He was charming. He had nice looking hands. But he was Tom. He was Jordan’s Tom. He was the same Tom who fucked Missy Turner under the bleachers at the Homecoming game and the same Tom who let Rochelle Adams suck him off in the janitor’s closet during school. He was that Tom.

So why was I looking at him like he was Netflix and I’d had a long ass day?

I realized I was still staring, not saying anything. “I’m sorry you had to come all the way out here. We can kill Jordan, if you want. I feel like that’s good payback?”

Tom nodded, still smiling and playing along. “Yeah, we could. But then Leila would do away with us and I’m far too handsome to die this young.”

“True.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and jerked his chin at me. “And you… you have more of my jumpers to steal.”

I cocked my head to the side. “I didn’t steal it. If I remember correctly, you offered it to me.”

“I did.”

I was still holding the hoodie out to him. “Here.”

He made no move to grab it, hands still in his pockets. “Keep it. Looks better on you anyway.”

My stomach dropped and I found myself speechless. “I… you sure?”

He nodded. “Yeah, no worries.”

I nodded my head, heat flooding my face as I looked down. What the fuck was going on with me? I didn’t act shy, not around other guys and definitely not around Tom. During college, I finally found my confidence sexually and I took hold of that. I was not the shy girl.

“Do you want to head out before the weather gets really bad?” I asked him

.As if on cue, thunder cracked loudly overhead, releasing a loud boom followed by flashes of lightning. The lights flickered again and Tom met my eyes across the room, blinking those chocolate pools at me. “I don’t think I’m going anywhere, darling.”

His voice was quiet, almost too quiet. I could have sworn I could hear the waves crashing against the shore, or maybe it was the blood rushing in my ears. We stood, staring at each other for a moment, and I opened my mouth to speak when there was a loud crash at the back of the house.

I jumped with a yelp, my heart slamming against my ribcage. “What the fuck was that?”

Tom moved past me, absentmindedly reaching out to touch my arm as he went. “Stay here, I’ll be back.”

Um, that’s what people say right before they murdered. Even though I had come to terms with the fact that I was irrational, I wasn’t going to take any risks. Turning, I followed close behind him, catching the earthy, musky scent of his soap. Or, was it his laundry detergent? I didn’t know, but I enjoyed it. He smelled woodsy, warm. Safe.

Back the fuck up I cleared my throat, telling myself not to look at the way the material of his jacket stretched across his shoulders. There was a small crash again as we made our way to the back door.

“It’s a shutter.” He laughed and opened the window, screaming wind filling my ears as he grabbed the shutter and slammed it, closing the window. Turning, he had a smug smirk on his face. “You’re a big baby.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “No, I’m not.”

He started to laugh, tilting his head back. “You screamed like a banshee.”

I flipped him off before turning my back on him, retreating as his laughter followed. “You’re a dick.”

My response only made him laugh harder.

Everything in the house seemed to be in order. The windows were shut and locked, the basement was set. The only thing that needed to be brought in was the outdoor furniture, but we needed the rain to let up a bit first.

When I walked back down the stairs after checking the second floor, Tom was rummaging through the kitchen. Seeing him there immediately brought me back to that night, the intimate conversation, the almost.

TWO MONTHS AGO

My parents had gone to bed nearly an hour ago and I was in my room listening to an old Rolling Stones record. Jordan was somewhere, possibly in his room with Leila and JJ, or possibly drinking down on the beach with Tom. It was one of the first weekends at the beach house, one of the first weekends of summer, and the air wasn’t thick yet. There was a breeze floating through the open windows and everything felt warm. New. The summer solstice was upon us and I lived for family weekends at the beach.

Funny thing about family weekends? Tom was there almost every single time.

“You’re still up?” I asked his back as I entered the kitchen, watching as he struggled to uncork a bottle of wine. He was wearing black basketball shorts and his old UMass hoodie, somehow still looking like an ad for an Abercrombie summer collection.

Tom sighed in defeat, slamming the bottle down on the granite countertop before answering me with a huff. “First weekend here and your brother’s already in bed.”

“Dad life.” I said with a laugh.

Tom smiled at the mention of our godchild. The day Jordan and Leila asked us to be godparents I’d been so emotional I cried for nearly an hour and, though I knew he wouldn't admit it if pressed, Tom was emotional about it, too.

“I love that little monster.”

I reached out, taking the bottle and finessing the cork for a moment before it finally released with a soft pop. “Jesus, Tom, you need to be slow with her. Gentle.” I chided as I reached into the cabinet, producing two glasses.

He took the bottle in a wide palm, tilting it to fill a glass before passing it to me. “I don’t know, she doesn’t like it too gentle.”

I rolled my eyes even as I felt my heart speed up. “Are we still talking about wine, or has the conversation moved to your latest conquest?”

Tom put a hand over his heart and threw his head back as if he’d been shot. “For your information, there hasn’t been a so called conquest in over a month.”

I feigned shock. “Over a month? Tommy, are you feeling alright?”

I was still laughing, but Tom paused to glare at me for using his little nickname. He hated being called Tommy and always had, but for whatever reason he never corrected me, never told me not to call him that. He’d glare, sure, but he never told me to stop.

“Feeling just fine, love.” He took a sip of the cool white wine, his brown eyes looking at me over the delicate crystal glass he held. “Fancy going outside for a bit?”

We were the only two left awake. I could faintly hear the pitter patter of feet upstairs as Jordan or Leila hushed a crying JJ, and then looked at Tom. “Yeah, let’s go.”

And that’s how we ended up on the back porch, the sound of the sea crashing against the shoreline as a soundtrack for our conversation. The wind had picked up but other than that the world was silent. It was just the two of us, and after not seeing each other for so long it felt like there was a million things to catch up on, yet I didn’t know where to start. I could ask him about graduation or what it was like to live in a big city, but in the grand scheme of things did those questions really matter? Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the atmosphere. But I wanted to know about Tom, about how he was doing, how his life was. If he was happy.

If he was single.

The thought was fleeting yet it caught me off guard nonetheless. I had no reason for caring if Tom was single, but there I was wondering if he was. He had changed over the two years I was away, his eyes sharper, his jaw more defined and making him look older. Still five eight but no longer the skinny boy he used to be. There was more definition to his arms, his chest a bit more puffed up. I took in the breadth of his shoulders and the slope of his neck, too caught up in staring at him to notice that he was actually speaking to me.

“What did you say?”

He laughed, leaning back in his chair. “Daydreamer. Are you listening to me at all?”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry!” I laughed, draining my glass and then reaching for the bottle. “This wine goes right to my head. I’m all ears, what were you saying?”

He grabbed the bottle from me, refilling his own glass. “I was asking you about being home. Are you and… Bryan… Bobby… doing the long distance thing?”

“His name is Ben, and no.”

Tom snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “Ben! That’s right, Boring Ben.”

I wanted to defend my newest ex, but I couldn’t. He truly was one of the most boring, insufferable people I’d ever been around. We dated for the last two years of college, maybe out of convenience, or maybe because it was because I’d gotten comfortable. People assumed we would get married, but the thought of walking down the aisle to him made me sick to my stomach. We literally had nothing to talk about, his friends didn’t like me, and the sex was mediocre at best, leaving me disappointed with myself for getting so comfortable that I was settling for bad sex.

I took a sip of my wine, looking down at the glass for a moment.

“I… what did you just say, love?”

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused.

“Did you just say that you settled for bad sex with Boring Ben?”

What? What? It was quite possibly the biggest mistake I’d ever made, saying those words aloud. But it all honesty I didn’t think I’d said anything. I wasn’t drunk, definitely not drunk enough to make that sort of slip.

I was mortified.

My eyes widened as I looked at Tom. My face and ears felt hot and I tried to sputter out an apology. “Holy shit. Tom, listen, I didn’t mean to say any of that out loud. I-”

“Stop.”

I paused, my heart hammering in my chest. He leaned forward slightly, placing his glass on the table as he regarded me seriously. “You didn’t mean to say any of it out loud. But you were thinking about the bad sex you settled for?”

I took in his words and felt my face heat even more. It sounded pathetic, embarrassing, but I was so focused on school that the relationship had taken more of a backseat. It was nice to have someone at the holidays and during family and university events. It was nice to not feel so alone in California while my friends and family were three thousand miles away. It was all… nice. Convenient. Words that shouldn’t always be associated when regarding a relationship.

But it was my truth. Ben was boring, I was settling, we got stuck.

“Can we pretend this never happened?” I blurted the words out, hoping Tom would be agreeable. If he told Jordan they would rag on me for the rest of my life and having to suffer through it now was bad enough.

“I don’t think I can do that, darling.” He was already shaking his head and my stomach was sinking. “Because it breaks my heart that you settled for less.”

I didn’t know what to say, caught off guard by Tom’s soft tone and sweet words. I shouldn’t have zeroed in on him calling me darling, but I couldn’t help it. He’d never done that before.

Ever.

I shivered, not knowing if it was from the breeze or the way he was looking at me, but he noticed. Quirking that one, whacky eyebrow at me, Tom asked, “Are you cold?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, the wind is picking up.” I rubbed my hands over my arms.

Tom stood, reaching a hand behind his back in between his shoulder blades, pulling his hoodie off. I tried to avert my eyes as the front of his shirt rose, revealing a strip of skin above his shorts. I couldn’t help but stare at the defined V of his hips or notice the way his ab muscles contracted with every movement.

He handed me the sweatshirt with a boyish smile on his face. “Take it. I’m hot anyway.”

You have no idea, I mused silently, thanking him and slipping the material over my head. It was soft, worn, the inside of it felt warm from his body heat. I could feel his eyes on me as I adjusted the material, pulling the hood up so that it framed my face.

“Looks good,” he quipped.

I smiled, taking a very large sip of my wine, thinking I was out of the clear.

“So how bad was it?”

I nearly spit the wine out at the question. “Excuse me?”

“The sex.” He deadpanned. “How bad was it?”

If I was the fainting type I would have been on the deck floor. “Tom, I’m not fucking telling you about my sex life.”

“Sounds like a LACK of a sex life, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you.”

He smiled, but it quickly faded as he regarded me seriously. “Really, Y/N, how bad was it?”

I wanted to blame my honesty on the alcohol or the late hour, but really I think I just wanted someone to talk to. Someone to confide in. Tom may have been an asshole playboy to some, but never to me. Thinking back on it, he may have even been a gentleman to me. Sure, he would annoy me when we were kids and barge into my room without knocking, or he’d go through my purse looking for gum, and there was the time he accidentally ate my birth control thinking it was a mint.

But Tom was also the guy who punched my high school boyfriend in the teeth for dumping me the night before Homecoming. He was also the guy who made an obnoxiously huge sign with Jordan for my graduation. He was that guy.

“It wasn’t… bad.” I found myself starting to open up a bit, pulling at a thread that was sure to unravel if I didn’t stop soon. “It was just routine. It was always the same thing, Ben wasn’t very adventurous. He didn’t like to try things, he hated anything new. He was just…” I took a breath, trying to choose my words carefully. “Set in his ways, I suppose. And that didn’t work for me anymore.”

“So, you ended it?”

I nodded, draining my glass once again. “Yeah, and that was when he showed his true colors.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

I thought back to the breakup. We’d been in Ben’s truck and it was raining. We were parked at a diner that was pretty much in the middle of nowhere. “He confronted me. He knew I was acting weird and he refused to drop it until I told him. I tried to explain that it wasn’t him, that I felt we just weren’t compatible. Ben lost his fucking mind. He was screaming at me about how he had all these plans for us, how I was fucking things up.” I paused, thinking back on the way he looked at me, like I was trash. “He called me a cunt, told me to get out of his car, and then I walked two miles back to my apartment.”

Tom’s eyes widened at my admission. His cheeks were tinted pink and I assumed it was from the booze, but when his mouth pulled into a tight line I realized it was because he was angry. I’d even say he was pissed. “He what?”

“I know, I know, it was a shitty thing for him to do. But the thing is, I’m not even all that upset about it anymore. I finally got to see who he really was and, oddly enough, the only thing I felt on that two mile walk was relief. It was finally over, it was like Ben was my last attachment to California. I could finally come home.”

He was silent for a moment, taking a sip of his wine before speaking. “Do your parents know about what happened with Ben? Does Jordan?”

I shook my head.

“Then why tell me?”

Our eyes met, held. Tom’s face held a look of concern, confusion, and something else. Something I couldn’t quite place. He was leaned forward in his chair, elbows on his knees as we stared each other down.

“Because honesty comes easier when it’s dark out, Tommy.”

He swallowed, not looking away from me. My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my ears, the wine making my lips tingle with the familiar buzz. Everything suddenly felt hot, burning hot, like it was on fire. Like the whole world was about to go up in flames.

Maybe mine was.

“I won’t tell them.”

“I know you won’t.” I reached out, gripping his hand. “You’re a good guy, Tommy.” I gave his hand a quick squeeze, meaning to let go, but then his long digits were wrapping around the back of my hand and it suddenly felt like we were magnets. I couldn’t let him go. His skin was warm, somewhat calloused against the soft skin of my knuckles.

His voice was so soft and quiet when he finally broke the silence, I had to lean in to hear him. “Y/N, what were those things you wanted to try?”

“Huh?” I felt as though I was in a trance.

“You said Boring Ben never wanted to try new things. What were they? He raised his eyebrows expectantly, fingers still stroking over the back of my hand.

It felt like a distraction, a very chaotic, overstimulating distraction. It was the smallest, simplest of movements, but feeling his fingers dance across my skin was hypnotic, and it was only my HAND. But I couldn’t ignore the question and it made my stomach turn. I didn’t want to tell him the things I wanted to do with Ben, the different versions of sex I wanted to explore more of. Sure, I tried things with different people before Ben and I got together, but it had been so long. So long since I got the attention I was craving.

So long since I’d done something reckless and new.

So long since I’d been touched by hands that were actually interested in making me feel more than a grip.“Tom…” I breathed out his name, suddenly overwhelmed. The scent of him was on the sweatshirt I wore and I could feel his knee bump mine as he moved closer.

“Tell me. I can keep a secret, love.” His words were hushed, quiet as he leaned just a little closer, our faces mere inches apart.

“I…” I started, my eyes flickering down to his lips before moving back up. Tom saw the movement, his lips curling slightly. “I wanted… something new.”

“Something new or someone new?” Tom responded.

“I don’t know.” I answered honestly, feeling his fingers tighten around mine.

“I think you do. I think you know exactly what you want, Y/N, you just need to say it.” He leaned even closer, his nose brushing mine, and when I went to back up he brought his free hand around and reached into the sweatshirt, knocking the hood off and cupping the back of my neck, his hand gentle but firm, kneading the soft skin where my neck met my shoulder. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” I gasped, suddenly struggling to breathe, overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events.

“Then tell me what you want. Say it.”

I was so wrapped up in Tom, in the moment, that I didn’t care about anything. Fuck the neighbors, fuck Boring Ben, fuck my family that was literally sleeping only feet away in the house. I wanted Tom. I wanted new. I wanted him to touch me the way he touched the girls who told stories about him. I wanted him to kiss me like he’d die if couldn’t.

“I want y-”

“Y/N? Tom?” a soft, sleepy voice came from just inside the house.

We sprang apart like we’d been electrocuted, Tom standing and walking to the edge of the porch while I pulled the hood back up, trying to look nonchalant and failing beautifully just as Jordan poked his head out from the screen door. “What are you two doing up?”

Tom didn’t answer, still looking out towards the path that led to the beach. “We couldn’t sleep, figured we’d devour a bottle of wine and then crash.” I laughed even though I felt anything but amused, standing up and heading over to the door. “I’m gonna try to sleep, though. I’ll see you both in the morning?” I brushed past Jordan, standing up on my tiptoes to hug him before turning to Tom, who had finally turned around. The look on his face was strained and frustrated, his arms crossed over his broad chest.

God, he was so far from the boy I used to know.

“Goodnight, Tommy.”

PRESENT

“Earth to Y/N.” Tom waved a hand in front of my face, laughing. “You with me?”

I shook my head, pulled out of that very intimate memory. “What? Yeah, sorry. It’s been a long week.” I laughed and tried to play it off like I was fine, but my stomach was turning in knots. We’d both slept under the same roof before, hundreds of times, but now things felt different. Heavy. It was like I’d spilled something last time and there was still a stain that wouldn’t come up no matter how hard I scrubbed.

“You have your pick of bedrooms.” I said casually. “Jordan’s, my parents’, the guest room. Whatever you want.”

Whatever you want. It was an unintentional double entendre, but I noticed the way his eyes darkened slightly.

“Where are you sleeping?”

“My room.” I clarified.

He nodded his head, moving around the center island as he shrugged out of his jacket, throwing it over the back of the couch. “Y/N, can I ask you a question?”I shrugged my shoulders.

“Go for it.”

He looked at me then, his jaw clenched as he braced his hands on the back of the sofa, fingers spread in a way that looked almost vulgar. “Why the fuck are you looking at me like you’re scared I’m going to kill you in your sleep.”

“I’m not.” I started to defend myself, straightening my spine. “I’m just freaked out because of the rain.”

“Bollocks. You’ve loved the rain since we were kids.”

I shook my head, sensing the anger in his tone. “Don’t do this whole angry british thing tonight, Tom. I’m in a mood.”

“Clearly.”I narrowed my eyes at him, my hands balling into fists at my sides. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“My problem?” He huffed at me, his cheeks flushed. “You’re the one who can barely look me in the eye, Y/N. So, you tell me what the problem is.”

“I don’t have a problem.” It was a lie. A blatant lie. But I wanted to move past whatever this was with him. I had to move past it. I couldn’t crush on my brother’s best friend. I read those books. I saw those movies. It would ruin everything.I had finally come home, had finally gotten my old life back. No matter how much I wanted Tom- and believe me, I fucking craved him- I could never have him. He would always be just out of my grasp.Which was a good thing.

“Okay, you don’t have a problem. That means we can discuss what happened last time we were here, yeah?”

I froze, no words coming out of my mouth. He said the words so casually it was as though he was talking about the weather. “I... “ I was struggling, slipping, losing my composure. “I don’t know-”

Tom was shaking his head, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Don’t even fuckin’ say it, Y/N. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Tom looked at me, eyes blazing. “You wanted it, I know you did. I felt it.”

My breathing was labored as I blinked at him. I had no idea how to respond. I didn’t want to acknowledge what happened, I wanted us to forget it and move on. It was a moment of weakness, it was late.

“It was the wine.” I said quietly. “We were drinking. W-we weren’t thinking straight.”

“It was the wine.” He repeated my words, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at me. “It was the wine.. That’s a joke, innit?” When I didn’t respond, Tom walked over to me, the tips of his sneakers touching the tips of my bare toes. “The truth is, Y/N, you didn’t drink that much. Neither did I. I knew exactly what I was saying to you and I was sober enough to see your reaction.”

“Tom-”

“Why won’t you be honest with me?” Tom’s voice was so soft it felt like a blanket.

The question felt like a knife to the gut? He was right to be confused. I never had any issue speaking my mind with Tom, with Ben, with anyone. I was opinionated, I said what was on my mind. But I was completely frozen with him. I just couldn’t push the words out of my mouth, couldn’t tell him that all of this was killing me, draining me. I couldn’t be open and honest and tell him that I’d spent the last two months thinking about him. That it never stopped. That the smell of him was haunting me, the feeling of his fingers on my skin was a memory I wanted to drown it. Tom had been in my life for over a decade.

Why now?

As if God was finally on my side for once, we were interrupted by the sound of furniture scraping across both the front and back decks. “My parents are gonna kill me if we lose any of those deck chairs.”

He stared at me for a moment and said nothing, his eyes searching my face. Eventually, he took one step back, seemingly giving up

.I hated the relief that went through me. But more than that, I loathed the disappointment that tugged at my heartstrings. I felt his eyes on me as I walked to the front door, pulling open the door and bursting outside with a deep breath, appreciating the way the rain hit my skin. I needed to cool down.

We were both silent as we got the stuff from the front and put it in the living room, turning the normally spacious room into nothing more than a cramped closet. Then came the back of the house, something that would be more difficult. The furniture was heavier, we had to walk up and down stairs, the thunder was clapping so loud I feared I’d go deaf.

I glanced up at Tom as he bounded down the porch steps. His shirt was completely soaked, the white material now stuck to his skin, nearly transparent. I could make out the tight muscles of his shoulders and the way his back tapered down to a lean waist.

Stop, stop, stop. I was screaming at myself, my feet slipping in my flip flops. I angrily kicked them off and then stormed down the stairs, suddenly furious about the rain and having to come to the beach house, and I was angry at Tom for not leaving well enough alone. More than that though, I was angry at myself for letting any of it happen in the first place.

He was dragging chairs by me when I stopped and wheeled around, facing him. “Why would you go and do this now?” I had to shout to be heard over the rain. “Why couldn’t you just leave it alone?”

Tom paused for a moment, his jaw clenched, rain dripping down his face. Releasing the chairs, he slicked his hair back. “I… I don’t know. Okay, I don’t bloody know, Y/N. I saw you here for the first time in two fucking years, and I missed you. I missed you so fucking much and I didn’t even know it. And then you were here and I couldn’t get enough of you. I wanted to catch up, I wanted to talk. I wasn’t even going to try anything, not that night, but then you mentioned Ben and everything you didn’t do with him, and I just couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry, alright? I am. But I’m not gonna sit here and play this bullshit game with you. You let me in that night and you can’t take it back.”

You let me in that night and you can’t take it back.

His admission left me stunned. He looked vulnerable and honest, the words heartfelt. I knew he meant all of it, that he didn’t mean for anything to happen that night. Not that anything really happened, but it felt as though that conversation changed everything. There was a shift, one that neither of us could stop.

“It doesn’t matter.” I finally responded, my voice laced with disappointment. “We can’t do this, Tom. Whatever that night was, whatever that conversation was, it has to stay there. It has to stay in that night.”

“I can’t fucking do that!” He shouted, the rain still pouring down around us. “I’m not going to sit here and pretend I didn’t feel something, Y/N.”

I was aching for him to stop. I knew he meant all of it, that he wasn’t trying to play me or hurt me. Tom would never risk saying the things he said if they weren’t at least party true.

I was beyond frustrated as I turned, grabbing more things to bring inside. Tom was huffing and puffing ahead of me, mumbling to himself. He was clearly angry, his jaw clenched, his eyes narrowed. We were both soaked from head to toe, my feet bare against the deck as we lifted the glass table, maneuvering it up the stairs to the back of the house.Tom’s eyes were on me the whole time and I was too cowardly to look in his direction. Carrying that heavy glass table while thunder roared and lightning flashed was stressful, to say the least. But I didn’t even care about the storm, I cared about the absolute hurricane that was my situation with Tom. I wanted to fix it, needed to.

“Why are you so stubborn?”

His question caught me off guard. We’d put the rest of the furniture away and I was outside searching for one missing flip flop, rain hitting me sideways as I turned to stare at him. He was leaned against the door frame, arms crossed with that white shirt sticking to him like a second skin. I could make out the line of the chain he wore, could see where it fell against his chest. Tom looked like the cover of a romance novel, a few stray curls falling around his forehead. Even in my terrified, angry confusion, my attraction to him was undeniable.

“I’m not being stubborn. I’m being smart. What, you want me to admit that I’m attracted to you? Fine, Tom. I am. But attraction doesn’t change things. We can’t cross that line, now will you please help me find my other flip flop?”

“Jesus.” He stormed past me, pointing a finger in my direction as he went. “This conversation’s not done.”

I shouted his name as he walked back down the stairs in no urgency because he was already soaked. His jeans sat low on his hips, probably weighed down by the water as he bent down, pulling something from one of the hedges at the end of the property. My flip flop. Turning, Tom walked back up the stairs slowly, purposefully, his stance all man and making me feel very, very small. I was waiting at the top when he finally stepped up, crowding me, holding my shoe in his right hand. Our chests were touching, just slightly, and I could feel my nipples harden from the slight contact.

“Thank you,” I said quietly, reaching to grab it from him.

Only to have Tom pull it towards him, away from me. “Have you thought about kissing me?”

“What?”

“Have you thought about me touching you?”

“Tom…” I backed up three steps with him following my movements, keeping us close, chest to chest.

“Those things you wanted to try, have you thought about trying them with me? Because, fuck, I’ve thought about you.”

His admission made me weak, my breath catching in my throat. We were getting close, so dangerously close to something we couldn’t turn back from.

“I’ve thought about you every day. I’ve thought about your eyes and your mouth and the way you look in my fucking jumper.” Tom’s hands grabbed my face roughly, cupping my cheeks, fingers tangling in my hair.

He was holding me there as my breathing went ragged, our eyes finally meeting. His pupils were blown out, water dripping down the bridge of his nose

.It was all so intense. It was overwhelming. I wanted him so bad it was physically starting to hurt, my hands going up and gripping his wrists, prepared to pull his hands away. “You are… so fucking infuriating.” I was breathless, weak, but I still noticed the smile that pulled at his lips.

“Darling, I’m a fucking devil.”

I knew what was coming, knew I should pull away, but as soon as his lips came down on mine in a bruising, hard kiss, I knew I was gone.

Tom’s lips were hard, demanding, his tongue eagerly licking at the seam of my mouth and begging for entry. His hands still held my face hard enough to prevent me from backing up, but even if he let go I knew I’d stay, the brief taste of his lips so intoxicating it felt like I was in a trance.

He pulled back, his eyes opening. Our noses still touched and I could feel his breath fan across my lips. Our eyes met and for the briefest moment I thought he was going to pull away, but he spoke instead.

“What do you want, Y/N?”

I paused, my throat dry and my breathing ragged. I couldn’t lie anymore, to Tom or myself, so I opted for honesty instead. “You, Tom. I want you.”

That was all he needed to hear before his mouth was on mine again. He slanted his lips over mine, tilting my head back. When our tongues touched I felt like my body was on fire and I couldn’t help but wonder why we hadn’t done it sooner. Tom tasted like mint, like a secret, like my deepest, darkest fucking fantasy.

All of a sudden he was pushing us, walking forward while I stumbled back, our mouths still fused together as he let out a soft groan. I wanted so badly to memorize the sound, to hear it again, but I was too focused on not falling over. Something sharp dug into my back and I winced, gasping into Tom’s mouth.

“What the fuck was that?” I gripped my side and turned. The doorknob.

“Shit,” he muttered, reaching to lift at the edge of my shirt. “Is it going to leave a bruise? Let me kiss it better.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed, opening the door and ushering him inside. “I’m fine. Really.”

“No.” Tom’s hands gripped my hips. He was looking at me with mischief in his eyes and it made my stomach do a backflip. “Really, love, let me kiss it better.” I felt his fingers skim over my bare flesh as he dragged the wet material of my shirt up and over my head, dropping it to the ground.

My chest was heaving as he looked me over, eyes zeroing in on my breasts. I was wearing a simple black lace bra, nothing fancy. But Tom was looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and my heart swooned.I thought he was going to kiss me again, but instead he sank to his knees and my breath caught in my throat as he looked up at me. I was wearing my shorts, my underwear, and a barely there bra while Tom was still fully dressed. I felt vulnerable, small, but in that moment I fucking loved it.

Tom’s breath fanned over my hip as he kissed the spot where the doorknob had jammed into me. “Better?” he asked, looking up at me through thick, dark lashes. All I could do was nod, and his smug smile told me everything I needed to know; Tom knew exactly what he was doing.

His hands skimmed over the backs of my thighs, traveling down. When his fingers touched the backs of my knees they wobbled, and I knew he felt it. “This alright?”

I nodded my head, reaching one hand out and tangling my fingers in his wet hair, feeling his head nudge into my touch. “Use your words, Y/N.”

“It’s okay.” I managed to gasp out. He’d barely touched me, barely kissed me and I was still completely breathless.

“Do you want more?”

"Fuck." I gritted my teeth, suddenly frustrated he was moving so slow. "Yes."

He smiled, soft lips trailing over my hip, his teeth biting at the denim that hugged my skin. "How about we play a game?"

I huffed, my fingers stilling in his hair. "I'm not in the mood for games, Tom."

He stood then, nails lightly scraping up the sides of my legs and making my skin break out in goosebumps. Every single part of me was ignited and I was on sensory overload. "What if I promised you win this game?" He kissed my shoulder, one hand trailing over my side and traveling up my back, tracing my vertebra. "What if I told you that you win quite a few times?"

I gasped, drunk on his words as he leaned in, kissing me again just as he reached up and unclasped my bra. The straps fell down my shoulders slowly and as his lips grazed mine I reached bed between us, tugging the rest of the material down.

Like any straight, hot blooded male, Tom leaned back and looked down, taking in my naked breasts. "Shit," he breathed, leaning down and sliding his tongue over the curve of one globe, mouth warm and tongue wet. I was already arching into his touch when his mouth closed over my nipple. I thought he’d be gentle, thought he’d start slow, but he sucked HARD, yanking my nipple to the roof of his mouth until I yelped.

Tom groaned against my skin, releasing me with a pop. “Mhm, I liked that sound. Didn’t picture you as a screamer.” He smirked at me, his mouth red and his lips swollen.

I laughed and leaned in, my arms wrapping around his broad shoulders as we stumbled through the dining room. “Yeah? You’ve been thinking about the sounds I make?” I licked a fat stripe up Tom’s neck, feeling him shiver against me.

“I’ve thought about much more than that.” He grabbed me by my hips, now in the kitchen, and lifted me, my ass landing on the counter as the wind howled outside.I watched, mesmerized as Tom lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side, revealing the smooth expanse of his chest. His abs were hard, tight, and I wanted to leave hickies scattered across his collarbones.

“I’ve thought about you. Here.” He tapped one finger against the countertop. “And I thought about what it would be like to fuck you while everyone slept upstairs.” He took a step forward, his hands going to his jeans, fingers deftly undoing the button and zipper. “Me, telling you to be quiet, putting my hand over your mouth.”

Tom’s long fingers reached out, sliding over my chin, across my cheek. When they traveled over my lips I couldn’t help but poke my tongue out, tasting the tips of his fingers. He stopped for a moment, leaving them there, eyes glued to my mouth as I repeated the motion, this time holding eye contact as I tipped my head back, letting his index and middle fingers dip into my mouth, my tongue wrapping around them and sucking softly.

His hand twitched slightly, I felt it, and I smiled around his fingers, groaning softly when he pulled back. The truth was, I wanted them deeper. So much deeper.

“Fuckin’ minx.” Tom’s voice was rough and his hands were the same, gripping my thighs hard and pulling me to the edge of the counter. My legs hugged his slim waist, my hands settling on his chest. “You want me to fuck you, Y/N?”

I nodded my head. Consequences be damned.“Fine. I’ll fuck you any way you want. But you have to tell me one of those things you wanted to try first.”

“Tom…”

“C’mon.” His voice was soft, smooth. Charming. When he spoke again his accent was thicker and I physically throbbed for him. “Give me a little bit, love.”

“I…” I started, suddenly very self conscious of my own sexual desires. It was different when I was having sex with Ben because it was always the same thing, and it was different sleeping with a stranger because I’d never have to see them again. But I would have to face Tom in the morning and every day after that. I didn’t want his opinion of me to change. “I want to suck your fingers while you fuck me.”

The words were so soft I wasn’t even sure he heard me. He was silent, eyes staring at my mouth before looking up, meeting my gaze. “That’s it? That’s what you were so nervous to tell me?”

I shook my head, unable to help myself from laughing. “Oh, man. No, you have no idea how many things I want to try. We’re just not there yet.”

Yet.

Why was I implying that it was going to happen again?

Tom’s hands were sliding up and down my thighs while my ankles were locked at his waist, his fingers eventually popping the button and zipper while I waited for his response. “You like hands?” When I nodded he continued. “You like my hands?” As if to emphasize, he slapped one hand roughly over the side of my thigh and I jumped.

He shushed me, pursing his lips softly. “Relax, darling. We’re about to have fun.”

Without another word he unwound my legs and pushed his hands against my shoulders until I was laying flat against the cold quartz counter, arching my back and gasping. Tom hooked his fingers into my shorts and underwear, pulling both down and leaving me completely naked in one swift move. I felt vulnerable and open, but he quickly forced me to move past that as he spread my legs, his fingers splayed across my thighs.

His groan sent shivers through me.

“You’re like a fucking dream.” His words were hushed even though we were the only two in the house. “Oh, shit, did I just see you clench up for me?” His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as I threw my hands over my face, mortified and turned on all at once. He could see every part of me.

“Tom!” I practically shouted. If he didn’t touch me soon I was going to-

My body tensed up and every coherent through flew from my mind as Tom licked a fat stripe all the way from my ass to my clit, groaning and sending vibrations through me. My legs twitched and he repeated the motion, my nerve endings on fire.

Tom Holland’s head was between my fucking thighs.

His lips closed over my clit, sucking at the same time as he pressed his tongue flat against the bundle of nerves, and my hips pretty much lifted off the counter.

“Tommy!” I gasped, the sound ending on a choked moan as he looked up at me, brown eyes nearly black.

He pulled back for a moment and I could see his lips, glistening and wet from my arousal. “You know, you’re the only one allowed to call me that?”

My head lolled slightly and I looked at him, reaching down to run my fingers through his hair. “Why?”

“Because I like the way it sounds when you say it.”

His admission did something to my insides, made me just a little weaker for him. I was the only one allowed to call him Tommy, the only one to have that little nickname. Something possessive soared through my veins and I quickly sat up, seeing his shocked expression as the fingers that were in his hair traveled down, grabbing the back of his neck and tugging him towards me, our lips attaching. I couldn’t stop fucking kissing him and when I tasted myself on his tongue I wanted him even more, sliding my tongue into his mouth and dominating the kiss.

“I wasn’t fucking done with you yet.” He spoke against my mouth.

“But you said this was about me trying things. There’s something I want to try, Tommy.”

His eyes shut briefly, his jaw clenched, concentrated. He was coming undone for me in the same way I was for him. “What’s that?”

I ran my fingers over his collarbones, tracing the delicate bones with my fingers. I was nervous, forcing myself to push the words out anyway. “You know how when you were in high school being sneaky and fucking in a girl’s parents house was fun? And, sometimes, when the parents weren’t around you and the girl would sneak up to her parents’ room?”

His laps traveled over my jaw, down my neck, and I felt him smile against my skin. “You want me to fuck you in your parents’ bed?”

My face heated and I nodded, burying my face in his shoulder.

Tom laughed softly, pulling back and helping me off the counter. I was acutely aware of the fact that I was completely naked while he still wore jeans and black Calvin’s but I no longer cared. In fact, there may have been a part of me that enjoyed the way I felt knowing I was the only one who was naked. It made me feel small, soft.

“What are ya’ waitin’ for then?” He arched a brow and nodded towards the stairs. “Move your ass.”

I practically sprinted past him, moving before he even finished speaking. His eyes were on me as I moved, my hips swaying a little more than usual. Tom was hot on my heels as I bounded up the stairs, one of his hands reaching out and giving my ass a swift, harsh slap. I welcomed the sting, pausing on the stairs and turning to look at him as a gasp escaped.

“I fuckin’ knew it.” He marveled, a smirk playing at his lips. “I knew you liked it a little rough.”

I began backing slowly down the hall, facing him. “Oh, you have no idea.”

He arched a brow, molten brown eyes looking me up and down. “Is that right? You feel like telling me any of those deep, dark fantasies, or are we not there yet?”

I couldn’t help but laugh as he threw my words back at me. “Not yet. I like surprising you.”

I stepped into my parents’ room and Tom followed suit, looking around as the wind rattled the glass windows.

The air suddenly felt thick. The king sized bed loomed behind me and it all felt real. Terrifyingly, brutally real. I was about to get into that bed with Tom, I was about to take a huge step off a very large cliff. Whether it was good or bad- although I prayed it would be good- didn’t matter. We would never be able to come back from this.

“Believe me, you’ve done nothing but surprise me tonight, Y/N.”

“I actually think it’s your turn.” I said with a small smile as I crawled onto the bed, looking at him over my shoulder.

Tom was too busy taking in the view of my naked backside to comprehend my question. “What?”

I sprawled out across the bed and rested my chin on my hand, looking at him. His jeans were undone and his hardened cock pressed almost painfully against the denim material. “It’s your turn. I’ve been very honest about what I want to try, but what about you, Tommy? What do you want?”

His eyes locked on mine and my breath caught as he moved forward. “I want you. I want you to say my name while you come, I want you to wrap those beautiful legs around me and squeeze whenever I go just a little too deep. I want to fuck you the way I’ve dreamed about fucking you since I was fifteen years old.”

His candid admission left a pang in my heart and I quickly tried to stifle it, leaning up as he leaned down, our mouths fusing together once again. It seemed that I couldn’t keep my mouth off his. Maybe it was because I had been fantasizing about that mouth for so long, maybe it was because Tom was just that good of a kisser, but either way I didn’t care.

“Fuck me. Now.” The words were mumbled against his lips.

Tom’s lips traveled down my jaw to my neck and he bit the skin where my shoulder and neck connected. His sopping wet jeans pressed against me and I hissed out a breath as he pulled back, laughing down at me. His brown hair had begun to curl at the sides and he looked boyish, young. His cheeks were flushed and I couldn’t even remember why I’d tried to fight my attraction in the first place.

He jumped off the bed and began the painstaking effort of removing wet denim.

“God… fucking… dammit!” I watched him struggle, biting back a laugh as he hopped around the room, kicking one leg free and then the other. When he looked back up at me his eyes narrowed and he glared. “Are you laughing?”I shook my head, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth.“You’re laughing at me right now.”

I shook my head, backing up on the bed as Tom came forward. “No, no I’m not. I’m-” I shrieked as his hand wrapped around my ankle and he dragged me down the matress.

I struggled against him as he leaned over me, covering his body with mine as his hands tickled at my sides. I gasped and laughed, nearly headbutting him at one point. “Tom, please, I was-wasn’t laughing.” I was trying to explain myself when his hips settled between my thighs, his hard cock pressing against my clit, right where I was aching for any kind of attention, or friction, I could find.

“You’re not laughing anymore,” he whispered against my mouth.

“Not really finding anything to laugh at right now.” My response was just as quiet, my fingers linking behind his neck as he braced a hand on either side of my head. Our eyes met as he ground his hips against me, my mouth falling open in a quiet moan as Tom settled on a good rhythm. He wasn’t even inside me yet and I was already on the edge, my thighs trembling as they squeezed his trim waist.

Tom seemed just as eager as I was, his arms wrapping around me and then unwrapping, hands trailing up and down my sides, over my breasts, gripping my thighs. My own nails scratched lightly over his shoulders and I reveled in the way he shivered on top of me. His breathing was heavy, chest heaving as I lifted my hips, grinding harder, needing more.

“I…I don’t…” Tom trailed off and I stopped my movements.

My heart sank at his tone. He was about to tell me he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t sleep with his best friend’s sister. I, of course, would be mortified and naked and ashamed as he got dressed to inevitably leave, where he would get into a car accident and die because there was a storm raging outside. And then I would have to explain to my parents and Jordan that I killed Tom because I-

“I don’t have a condom.”

What?

“What?”

“I don’t have a condom.”It was a split decision, and normally I would argue with myself about practicing the art of safe sex, but I had waited too fucking long for this and I was thankful that he wasn’t about to leave me naked in the middle of my parents’ bed.

“I’m on the pill.”

He arched a brow. “You’re cool with…”

I couldn’t help but smile. I hadn’t seen him bashful very often, but I had to admit I found it completely adorable. “Tommy, I’m cool with anything that involves you being inside me.”

“Thank fucking god.” He sat back on his knees between my splayed thighs and I watched as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of his briefs, shoving them down so that his cock sprang free, slapping up against his abdomen. My eyes widened as I finally got the first glimpse of what had been grinding against me for the last thirty minutes, of what I’d been dreaming about all summer. His cock was long, a pulsating vein across his shaft.

My mouth watered at the sight of the pre-come that gathered at his crown and I reached forward with every intention of wrapping my fingers around him. But Tom’s hand snapped forward and he grabbed my wrist, halting my movements.

“I want this to last longer than fifteen seconds and, honestly, if you touch me right now I’m going to fucking explode all over you like a fifteen year old .I don’t want to ruin this.”

I looked up at him. He was panting, his cheeks tinted pink. He looked rumpled, worked up, his eyes dark, and I’d never wanted him more. Leaning up, I gave him a quick kiss on the lips, darting my tongue out to taste his quickly. “Get on with it then.”

Tom smiled against my mouth and then he was pushing me down again, covering his body with mine. His skin was warm and the hair on his legs tickled my thighs, but all I could really focus on was the deep, intense throbbing that had settled low in my stomach. I actually feared that I would die or combust if he didn’t fuck me so-

Too wrapped up in my aching body, I didn’t notice that Tom had reached between us and lined himself up at my entrance. When I felt his knuckles brush against my swollen clit I stiffened, a weak whine leaving my mouth.“I want to hear that fuckin’ noice on repeat for the rest of my life,” he whispered against the damp skin at my temple.

I was about to open my mouth and give a half assed witty response when I felt his body surge forward, his cock sinking into me in one long, swift, nearly painful because it was so good move. I gasped, my thighs squeezing Tom’s hips and my nails digging into his sides.

His groan in my ear sent vibrations through me and I shook underneath him, trying to find my breath, trying to acknowledge the fact that it was Tom inside me. Tom Holland. My brother’s best friend. But at that moment in time someone could tell me I didn’t actually have a brother and I would have believed them. I would have believed the moon was actually made of cheese. I would have believed anything… because none of it mattered.

In that moment the only two people who existed were Tom and me. Just us and the storm. “Tommy.” My voice shook as he pulled nearly all the way out, just holding the tip of his cock inside me.

Tom looked down at me with his eyebrows furrowed, mouth hanging open. He looked serious albeit desperate and I could completely understand why. It felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room as soon as he pushed inside me. “You good? You need a minute?”

I shook my head. “You feel so good.”

Something snapped in him then. I watched it happen. His eyebrows relaxed, the hands that were on either side of my head clenched into fists, and his hips snapped forward as he pushed in to the hilt, repeating the motion twice more before a rough grunt escaped his lips.

I slammed my head back against the pillows as a moan tore from my throat. He’d barely been inside me two minutes and I already felt like I was on the verge of an earth shattering orgasm. But it was true. Tom had kept me riled up so long, far longer than just this messy afternoon. My body had been waiting for this for so fucking long.

Tom’s teeth sank into my shoulder. Hard. He didn’t let up until I yelped, and then he pulled back with a devilish smirk. “Look at you,” he said, breathing heavily as he lowered his head, our noses brushing. “Screaming underneath me whilst I fuck you in your mum and dad’s bed. So, so naughty.”

He was taunting me, teasing me, and his words spurred me on. My hips lifted, another rough moan leaving my mouth at the new angle.

Tom must have liked it too, because soon enough he was thrusting so hard it nearly hurt, so hard I swore I could feel him in my stomach.“You’re. So. Fucking. Perfect.” His voice was gruff, the words barely audible. Our moans and breaths mingled, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room. It may have been pornographic, may have been downright filthy, but I was too far gone to care.

I was fucking drowning in Tom.

So close to coming harder than I had in my entire life.

When he reached between us to rub his thumb over my clit it felt like too much, my back arching as I shook my head. “Tom, Tommy… no. I-”

“Shhh.” Tom’s focus was between us as he looked down, sliding his now soaking wet digit over my clit again, reveling in the way I shook under him. “Been dreaming of this for years. For years, Y/N.” He was so transfixed on looking down at where we were joined, I truly didn’t know if he realized he was speaking. “Do you want to come on my cock, love?”

He looked up at me then, our eyes meeting. His pupils were so blown out there was barely any brown left. No longer able to form a coherent sentence all I could do was nod.

“Good.” He pressed his thumb against my clit, harder than before, and watched my face as a scream erupted from me.

“Tom!” I went to grab his hand and he quickly grabbed hold of it with his free one, slamming it down against the mattress near my head, resting his full weight on me.

“You’re going to come for me just like this. My cock inside you, my hands all over you.” He released the hand he was holding and grabbed a hold of my hair, yanking my head back in a move that shocked me. I hadn’t expected him to be so rough, but the move sent pleasurable shockwaves through my scalp and down my back. I felt him everywhere.

I was close, so fucking close, words and moans and broken pleas leaving my mouth. I wanted it so bad I could cry, my desperation palpable as Tom trailed rough, wet kisses down my neck, never once letting up on my clit as his hips pistoned forward in short, quick strokes. He was close too, I could feel it in the way his pace began to stutter, in the way his breath was hitting my neck.

I ran my fingers through his thick hair and his pace quickened. “Come, Y/N, please.” Tom’s voice was raspy and I knew he was serious. He was waiting for me, holding back for me, wanting to please me… and somehow that was everything I needed to finally let go.

My orgasm hit me like a freight train, knocking the wind out of me. I came with a silent scream, my mouth falling open with no sound coming out, my breath stuck in my throat as Tom’s grip on my hair tightened. Vaguely, I could hear his name coming out of my mouth on repeat, my entire body tensing up underneath him. It was like nothing I’d ever felt, like every nerve in my body was on fire.

“Fuck… fuck… fuck.” Tom’s back muscles tensed under my hands, his entire body going still as he held himself deep inside me. The feeling of his pulsating cock sent delicious aftershocks through me and I clenched around him, loving the small groan that erupted from him as he slowly relaxed, resting his full weight on me with a long, heavy sigh.

We lay like that for a few minutes, the thunder and wind having calmed at some point during our tryst. Tom was resting his sweaty forehead on my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair as I stared up at the ceiling. Everything would be different now, everything would change. But I was too lost in my post orgasm glow to care much about anything.

“Was that too rough?” Tom’s voice was soft, the question catching me off guard.

“What?”

He lifted his head to look at me, shifting his body weight as he examined my face. “Was I too rough? I get carried away sometimes, don’t always know my own strength.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. If he only knew half the things I wanted to do to him, or what I wanted him to do to me. Shit. He’d probably have me arrested. “No, Tom, no. Believe me, it was perfect.”

He arched in eyebrow in a cocky way that only Tom fucking Holland could do. “Perfect?” His accent was thick. “Just wait for round two.”

I was about to respond when he leaned in for a kiss, capturing my lips and holding me right there in that moment with him. It was crazy, it was stupid, it was reckless. And I didn’t give a flying fuck.

A noise from downstairs startled us and I jumped. “It was probably just the wind.” Tom reassured me.

I nodded my head, but when I heard the telltale sign of keys hitting the countertop my heart leapt into my throat. “Tom? Y/N? You guys here?”

Tom’s eyes met mine and in unison, we said, “Jordan.”

Oh, fuck.

[barkadasesh]

"THE TASTE OF HAPPINESS"

In an isolated village near the sea a 19-year-old tall, dark skinned and good-looking guy

with brown hair lives named Nathaniel, despite his appearance the people in his village are

furious because of his bothersome attitude. He is sometimes called “rude-nathan” because of

how he treats other people and how he doesn’t care about anything around him. He lives by

himself because he lost his parents at the age of 12 when they are working in the middle of the

vast sea. He stopped going to school when he was in 4th year Highschool due to financial

problems and because he can’t support his needs properly. People around don't like him because

of his attitude but they admire the positivity he always shows when the problem is around the

corner. The one thing that he is very good and skilled at is cooking, his passion and love for

cooking is immeasurable where people tend to ask him about food and he answers them but

sometimes in a sarcastic manner. He is a type of guy who is talented but his attitude is in the

opposite way.

One day when Nathaniel was wandering in the white sandy beach near the shore, he saw

a not so tall, brown skinned girl with long straight hair that fell just above her shoulder walking

slowly in the shore, looking in the vast blue sea where her eyes are just like a digital camera,

catching every corner of the sea and every movement of the waves it creates. Nathan was

amazed at how the sea and the girl are immensely beautiful. The beautiful girl notices Nathaniel

and approaches him, when they are now facing each other she extends her hand to offer a

handshake to Nathaniel. A very shy smile appeared on Nathan’s face and immediately reached

out his hand to accept the handshake and Nathan was amazed at how the girl smiled so

beautifully.

“Hi! I’m Callista and you are?”

“Hello! I’m Nathaniel but you can call me Nathan for short” smiled shyly.

Nathan and Callista talked to each other as if they were long lost siblings that they were

comfortable in each other. Callista told Nathan that her father bought a rest house near the

village, to spend the summer vacation since she’s still studying and she was walking to see or be

familiar with the whole place. The village people who saw the two sitting next to each other were

caught off guard because the Nathan they were looking at is not the Nathan who has a bad

attitude. They were thinking that Nathan might be having a hard time since he is alone that’s why

his attitude is his defense mechanism to hide the loneliness that he feels.

“I’m so deeply in love in the sea because of its breathtaking beauty, the cool breeze that soothes

in the skin and the water that sparkled brightly as the warm light hit right through it”. Callista

said as she looked in the sun that soon to set getting ready for the evening sky. Nathan also looks

in the sunset and feels happy that he found a friend that he doesn’t expect they will both share

the same interest and dreams.

After a couple of days Nathan and Callista are now treating each other as siblings where

they are more comfortable than before. They both love cooking and eat a lot of different foods

where they made a promise to each other that one day they will travel and taste the different

cuisines every place could offer. Nathan changed since he met Callista and he sometimes thought

it's true that “God will let you meet someone who will help you to be a better version of

yourself”. His life is like a food without a taste where you will still eat it because it is made for

you and he compares it to his life that even though he experienced being a worthless person he

still served a purpose in this beautiful world.

The summer vacation is in the corner and Callista told Nathan that she needs to go back

to their house in the City near the village to continue her studies. At first Nathan felt sad because

his closest friend would leave but Callista promised “I will visit here every vacation and let’s

spend time together again. Distance will never break our friendship. I promise you that” Callista

smiled so beautifully while saying it.

Time has passed, Nathan became a diligent kind of person and he is now socializing to

the people in the village. People surrounding him were amazed because of his hidden

personality, a joyful, industrious and a very reliable guy that they didn’t see immediately. The

smile on their faces is like a smile of proud parents to their child when it accomplished

something. Their eyes sparkle as if Nathan is like a gem that was found in the deepest sea. It is

truly remarkable if the person you once hate is now a treasure you want to keep forever. Nathan

became the favorite of the people, he cooked for them, helped in their works and assisted them

when they needed help. They treat him as part of their own family which made Nathan feel an

astounding happiness that he never felt before. Through the help and support of the people he

started his own business a small diner that serves fresh seafoods. Even though he doesn’t finish

studying, he proves that through hardship and a positive mind everything is possible. As his

business slowly grew, Nathan didn’t forget to send a letter to Callista on how he started his

business and how he changed his perspectives in life. He told Callista how the people in the

village love him now and how they support him in achieving what he wants.

“I hope you’ll visit again here someday. I want to show you how I've changed into the better

version of myself. I’m sure my parents would be proud of me”. Nathan wrote to his letter as his

eyes filled with joy and positiveness.

Summer is in the doorway and Nathan is excited to meet Callista again. He is also excited

to make his food and cooking skills known as tourists come to the beach where his diner stands.

He wants to be rich in order to fulfil their promise that they will travel and taste a lot of different

foods. One night while he is busy serving the customer a tall, white skinned girl with blonde hair

that shines as the moonlight struck right through it approaches him and yells “Nathan best

friend!” At first Nathan is clueless, his eyebrows curved and a frown registered in his face while

looking at the girl who called him. His mouth widened as he recognized the girl standing right in

front of him and he excitedly shouted “Callista!” a shout that is full of joy and Nathan

immediately hugged Callista like a brother who missed his sister. They go outside and walk on

the shore under the dazzling light coming from the moon. Nathan and Callista sat on the

beautiful white sand excitedly sharing their stories and laughing together.

“I missed this feeling, the cold sea breeze, the wind that’s so fresh and the nostalgic sensation

while looking at the vast sea. The waters are sparkling as the moonlight hits the sea water it feels

like home”. Callista sighed and smiled so beautifully.

After they talk to each other, they both stand up facing the breathtaking beauty of the sea,

Nathan asks Callista if they could start their food travel but after some months so they can both

prepare and fix their personal stuff before going. Callista nodded her head slowly and looked at

Nathan with a big smile on her face and said “Sure let’s fulfill our dream”. The next morning

Callista says goodbye to Nathan because she needs to prepare and ask her father for their

upcoming travel all over the country. Nathan felt a little sadness because they couldn’t spend a

lot of time in the village but Callista cheered him up because they can finally do the things, they

want the most. They hugged each other but Nathan’s sad face can’t deny what he really feels.

“Come on Nathan smile!” Callista stretches out his face and Nathan can’t ignore her that’s why

he smiles so genuinely. “Let’s meet in the bus station outside the village after 2 months”. Nathan

patted Callista’s head and said “Sure I’ll wait for you there”.

Months passed so quickly and Nathan looked in his belongings remembering what he

could forget and after that he went out in his house, bid a goodbye to the village and to the

people who will handle his business for the meantime. One of his trusted friends accompanied

him up to the bus station and they bid goodbye to each other happily. Nathan can’t take off the

smile he’s wearing because of the excitement he feels while waiting for Callista. After some

minute he heard a very familiar voice coming opposite of where he is looking, he smiles so

widely knowing who owns that very joyful voice. He faces the direction where the voice came

from and there, he sees a girl who wears leather boots, skinny denim jeans and an oversized

black shirt that looks really cool and that is Callista waving from the other side of the road. They

look at each other and wave their hands excitedly while shouting “This is it; Let’s go, food is

waiting”.

In our life all the problems will always try to take us down, be strong, positive and learn to find

hope in you and to others. In our darkest night there will always a star that will shine bright and

will give light. - NATHAN

(Descriptive Story by Patrick Ofialda)

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter one | welcome to new york

Sam made her way out of the house again, but that time with a towel slung over her shoulder; on her other shoulder was a canvas hand bag which held her brushes and her paints, as well as a few little white canvases. Those two little photographs tucked inside of her bikini top stayed in such a snug place that she almost forgot they were there by the time she had stepped out the front door back out to the hot sun. She slipped on her sunglasses once the bath of sunlight washed over her head and bare trim shoulders.

There was a pathway on the right side of the house, which led down to a little clearing; beyond that was a narrow pathway to the water's edge. She moved about the sand to keep it out of her little slip ons. It didn't seem that long ago, and everything from the past few years felt like such a flash and a blur. She could still feel them touching her and she swore that they both were going to be with her until one of them dropped dead. And yet they still slipped away from her, right through her fingers.

Sam stopped at the clearing for a second to adjust the towel on her shoulder, and to fix the lock of hair behind her ear. Too hot to do anything else. She knew there was a tree down by the waters to protect her from the sun.

Those photographs never budged from their hiding places in her bikini top. At one point, she took a look down at her chest and the pieces of yellow and blue fabric. Alex hidden away in the left, Joey in the right. That was exactly how she took them aside when it all started out. They were both on either of her arms and she managed to balance it all with her artistry and her social life.

It was a year ago when she met Joey and she was renting out an apartment in the outskirts of New York City. That was how it felt, anyways, as if it had just happened.

She had moved all the way out there from the second place she lived in following Lake Elsinore, Carson City, about three years before to live the artist life full time. A long way from home and yet she was willing to go forth with it all. Over two thousand miles and with the clothes on her back, Sam had settled into the neighborhood of New York City. It was some time later she met Alex.

And then she met Bill.

She went with Bill instead and there were moments wherein she questioned as to why she went with him instead of the two of them. She even spoke to one of her old friends before she left for the West Coast again, and Aurora asked her what had happened between her, Joey, and Alex. She replied with something that she couldn't exactly recall, but she went with him instead. He charmed her and tugged her away from them, at least that was how she saw it in hindsight.

There was a part of her that didn't want to think that, given her new home life. She was everyone's mom there in Lake Elsinore, and she was acting as Matilda and Cassie's mother. There was no way she could turn away from all of this. There was no way she could look at all of this and turn her back from it all, and head on back to New York City. For all she knew, someone had already taken her old apartment.

Aurora had begged her to return to the Big Apple, and yet she couldn't. Sam could still hear the tears in her voice. She looked down at the big rock on her right ring finger glimmered back at her like a hot ember from a fire. She couldn't return to that funky little neighborhood outside of the city.

She was stuck. She was stuck in a marriage that, deep down, did nothing for her anymore. And yet if she could bring Aurora and her fiance Emile out there for at least a visit, it would be a bit more bearable.

Aurora! She missed that whole circle of artist friends, but she missed her especially, because she was easily Sam's closest friend there in the City. Her jet black hair and her milky Japanese complexion, and the way in which she laughed that resembled to a pair of wine glasses tinkling together.

If there was any compliment she could give to her return to Lake Elsinore was painting and making art down by the surface of the waters. The noise of the city had fallen away into the silence of the mountains and the gentle white noise of the waters. And yet, she couldn't help but yearn for it all back again.

She recognized the willowy tree down by the water's edge, and she shuffled past a pair of low scraggly shrubs. Everything was so dry, even standing down there by the water; so dry that it made the crown of her head itch a bit. The hot sun beating down on the crown of her head didn't help matters, either.

She stepped over a dead tree branch and set down her hand bag on the smooth surface of the rock. She lifted her sunglasses up from her face and rested them atop the hot crown of black hair. Sam took a seat on top of the rock so the shade protected her from the hot sun.

She thought about Joey in particular, given he was the first one she met in the City. She set the canvas on her lap and rested the soles of her feet within the edge of the shade. One of the first things Joey had given her was a black and silver anklet, and she knew it was still in the jewelry box in the bedroom. She kept it tucked away in that little box and she wanted to keep it there forever. Keep it there forever, much like how that photograph of Joey had to be hidden away from the rest of the world.

Before she picked out one of the narrow brushes for herself, she reached into the right side for the photograph of Joey. It was so small, too small to do anything with, but it was better than nothing. It was better than having no way to see his round, sweet face and his black curls. The same went for the photo of Alex: she could see the gray sliver at the front of his head, the full tip of his nose, and his little Mona Lisa smile.

She had moved into that small studio apartment near the Bronx, about half a mile from the freeway. Nothing fancy, just a little two bedroom apartment with a view of the skyline from her window. Around then, she was still insisting on going by her full name of Samantha. The choice was either Los Angeles or New York, and she had been avoiding the former. Four years spent in Nevada and she vowed to never return to the Golden Empire. It simply didn't feel like an appropriate place for an up and coming artist, and it was all too familiar no less. It was that inner feeling about leaving home and traveling about the place, to see the world for herself and do whatever she pleased. The evening in which she was deciding whether or not to leave the little place in Carson City, she spotted the place in the listings and she knew it was perfect. She took the offer and she knew it was a new chapter for her.

Within a few days, she picked up everything she had and travelled that distance, alone. Even though her parents would show up within a day or so to help out with her settling into her new place, but she would go at it alone. The first plane ticket out to New York City and she found her rental car in the airport parking lot. She set one foot after the other down on the sidewalk before her.

It was a four storied little building of white stucco and with black trimming. It made her think of those old fashioned hospitals from the turn of the century. She strolled up the steps and made her way into the front lobby. There she met up with Emile St. Vitus, the landlord at the time. He was a young heavy guy with his disheveled black hair and his smooth milky skin.

“Samantha Shelley, right?” he asked her with an ever so slight Southern twang.

“That's my name,” she replied to him, and she couldn't resist the grin on her face.

“You got here pretty quickly,” he confessed to her as he rummaged through his black coat pockets. “I wasn't expectin' you for at least another few days.”

“It's just me,” she assured him; she knitted her eyebrows together at his feeling around for something. “What're you looking for?”

“Your key,” he replied. “It might be in back in my apartment.” He gestured for her to follow him back into that bottom hallway. She closed the heavy wooden door behind her, and it let out a sharp squeak all the while. That front lobby was cozy and narrow, perhaps no bigger for the width of a couch for someone to bring one in for their place. To her right stood a narrow stairwell with a wooden banister and steps covered in brand new dark carpet. The whole place smelled of lemons.

“Right this way,” he said to her again.

“Where are you from, by the way?” she asked him; she brought her head closer to his ear so he could hear her.

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

“New Orleans. I've lived in New York City, down in Manhattan, since I was five years old, though.”

“I was going to tell you—I like your accent.”

“Well, thank you. I haven't been in the Big Easy for a long time, but sometimes I'll slip sump'n out like 'darlin'' or 'y'all.'” Emile stopped before the third door on the left side of the hallway, and he took out the key from his jeans pocket. He pushed the door open.

“I'll wait right here,” she told him as she hung there at the doorway. It was a bit of a task, though, because of the luggage she had been carrying around for a time, but she was willing to let him delve around the place for that key in question. She adjusted the strap of her hand bag on her shoulder. Her bags rested down by her ankles, and the one holding her clothes stood further into the hallway; the inside of her fingers were tired from carrying them around.

“If you ever need anything, I'll be right in here,” he assured her.

“Sure, sure.”

Sam watched Emile shuffle through papers on the heavy dark wood coffee table. She glanced about the front room, which looked cozy and warm even in the face of the warm evening outside with everything closely knit together about the floor. One thing that caught her attention was the black crucifix on the opposite wall right in front of her. The body and arms of Jesus was lined with a tiny bit of gold leaf, but enough for her to see it from clear across the room.

The sound of someone kicking the bag full of clothes caught her ear. She turned her head to see a slender young guy with long jet black curly hair stumbling forth. He caught himself and stood upright. He turned around to show her his raised dark eyebrows.

“Oh, god, pardon me,” he said to her in a broken voice.

“Oh, no, it's okay,” she assured him as she dragged it closer to her feet.

“I didn't see it, I swear,” he sputtered.

“It's okay, I promise,” she reassured him with a wave of her hand to him. She noticed his large liquid brown eyes, his straight pitch dark eyebrows, and his prominent nose with a gentle kink in the bridge. He was rather handsome with his slightly rounded face and his chubby little apple cheekbones. All chubby and round in the face, but his body was slim and lanky, even delicate. His hands were large, almost like paws, complete with slender trim fingers.

She looked down at his sinewy thighs, clothed in tight black jeans; she dropped her gaze down to his knees, his slender lower legs, and his feet, the latter of which were donned in black Chuck Taylors. He had on a little black leather jacket with the zipper tugged part of the way down his chest to show off his olive green shirt.

“It's okay,” she repeated to him again. “It's not like I have anything fragile inside of there.”

“I hope not,” he said in a soft voice; he had bit of a New York accent, but it was a bit more distorted in comparison to the Brooklyn one. It almost sounded like he was saying “naw” when he said “not”.

“I swear,” she insisted.

“You swear? Like... fucking hell? Like that kinda swear?”

She giggled at that, but it also made her squirm a little bit. This strange man must have noticed the nervous look on her face because he swallowed and scurried away from her. She watched him go down the corridor, all the way to the very end. He ducked inside the room there and closed the door, and all Sam could think about was what she did right then. It was awkward, for sure, but he got a laugh out of her. The way he moved stayed with her: he shuffled about the carpet and he swayed his hips from side to side with each step. Or perhaps it was just her imagination and her aloneness talking and she fixated on something that could give her some kind of great reward.

Emile emerged from the other side of the front room with something silvery in his hand.

“Samantha?”

She turned her head and he stood before her for a second to hand her the key.

“The key was hidin’ behind the remote control, if you can believe that. Anyways, I’ll talk more later, but right now, I haveta run. I’m positive you know where your place is.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Thank you, too.”

“Absolutely!” He brushed past her and doubled back towards the front door. Once he was outside, Sam turned her head so she could look down the hall again. That strange man hadn't surfaced out of the room there at the end.

She sighed through her nose, and picked up her things, and doubled back to the stairwell; she kept the key nestled in between her right index and middle fingers. The steps creaked underneath her, even though she wasn't very heavy. She reached the landing to catch her breath. She was on the third floor, which meant she had to take that next flight of stairs, complete with all those things weighing her down.

She fetched up another sigh and picked it all up again. She lugged it all upstairs to that second studio on the right side of the corridor there; she set her things down and let out a low whistle. Once her heartbeat calmed down, she slipped the key into the hole under the doorknob. The small click was the sweetest thing she needed to hear. She let the door swing open before her so she could pick up her things yet again; she lugged it all into the apartment, complete with her nearly stumbling on her shoelaces.

Sam caught herself and set everything down on the floor, right up against the wall. She sighed again and looked about the spacious front room; on the far side of the room was a doorway and a closet; in front of her was another doorway. She poked her head in through that one to find the tiny kitchen combined with a little nook which, she knew could be the dining room. She doubled back across the floor to check out the other room, which she knew was going to be her bedroom; right in front of her was the bathroom. The whole place had that new room smell, and she knew the place had been repainted.

“Perfect,” she muttered to herself. “Home sweet home.”

The first thing she needed was a bed, even if it was just a makeshift bed like a spare cushion, or a few spare ones. She picked up her hand bag, and doubled back to the front door, and locked the place up for the time being. Moved to a new place and had no bed to sleep on afterwards.

Sam descended the stairs, and spotted that strange dark man at the front door. He watched her walk closer to him; his brown eyes fixated on her even though she was walking at a normal pace.

“Hey,” he said to her in a low voice.

“Hi,” she greeted back to him as she held onto the strap of her purse.

“I'm still sorry about earlier,” he blurted out with a bow of his head; she glanced down at his feet, right as he cocked his left foot inward a bit.

“I assure you it's okay,” she assured him. “Really, it was just full of clothes.”

“Well, and that stupid joke I said to you, too—” He shrugged his shoulders a little bit. “—I felt like I made you uncomfortable.”

“No, no—you got a laugh out of me. I promise.”

“Yeah, yeah...” He shifted his weight at the sight of her.

“I have to get a bed,” she told him.

“D'you just move in?”

“Just moved in. On the third floor.”

“Ah, that's cool! I was just helping someone move, too. Right down the hall here.”

“That's cool,” she echoed him.

“Yeah, it's—it's really cool.” He swallowed and shifted his weight again. She dropped her gaze to his chest and his stomach.

“So, uh... you got anyone comin' to help ya?” he asked her.

“My parents are coming tomorrow, but—I don't have any place to sleep, though.”

“True, true...” He lifted his gaze past Sam's crown of dark hair to the hall behind her. “...oh, there's Frankie!” She turned around to see the tall lanky guy with long nappy black hair down past his shoulders and thick bangs to accentuate his olive shaped face. He approached the two of them with a smirk on his face and his hands clasped together.

“Hey, Joey—who's this young lady?”

“I just moved in,” she told him as her heart hammered inside of her chest. “I—I need a bed.” She ducked past the guy in front of her, Joey, and headed outside before Frank could say anything. She headed down the front steps back to the sidewalk.

Alone in the Bronx, a girl alone in the brand new big city, but she spotted a furniture shop up the street. She hoisted her hand bag again and walked at a brisk pace down the sidewalk. She reached the crosswalk, right when the light turned red so she could stop and think for a second.

Sam looked back to the apartment building, and she thought about those two guys. It was just an awkward encounter, it was nothing she could think about too much. Although Joey was kind enough towards her that she could perhaps nod it off as nothing more. She couldn't think too much about that other guy, Frank, given she only looked at him for five seconds. But then again, it had to be from the fact she was a girl from the West Coast having relocated in the Big Apple.

The light turned green and she pressed onward across the dark pavement, right across the street. Another crossing. Another round of green lights. She reached the furniture shop there and ducked into the side with the beds. If she could climb into one of them and sleep there, she would do that.

She thought about her parents, and she wondered if her mother would help her pick out everything. An artist and often times she questioned her ability to pick out things that looked good. Her wardrobe was drab with lots of black, and her hand bag was a nice shade of soft beige. She eyed a little twin bed, the surface of which rose up to her waist. She set one hand on the top and put her weight into it.

It was the first bed and yet she was already sold on it. She reached down to check the price. Perfect!

And now something to put on top of the bed. She wandered through the room in search of sheets and a blanket. The place was bigger on the inside, much to her surprise.

She turned a corner and spotted Joey and Frank checking out towels. She gasped at the sight of them. Frank turned to see her with a stunned look on his face. Joey was saying something all the while.

“So, you've got—” He stopped in his tracks and turned to follow Frank's gaze. “—hey.”

“Hi?” she greeted him, and she couldn't resist the smirk on her face.

“Didn't expect to see you here,” he confessed, and showed her a smirk in return: she noticed a little gap on the right side of his teeth.

“Um, me, neither.”

“Guess we were right behind you,” Frank told her with a nod of his head; his accent wasn't nearly as prominent as Joey's distorted one; she spotted a piece of gum tucked on one side of his teeth.

“Yeah, I guess so, too. Um—” Her mind went blank and Joey ran his fingers through the roots of his curls, right on the crown of his head. “I—needed a place for my head.”

“I do, too,” Frank added with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Do you—do you need any help?” Joey offered her.

“Well—like I said, my parents aren't going to be here 'til tomorrow, so... yeah. I could use a hand.”

“Why didn't they come with you?” Frank asked her.

“I needed to put up the money and boogie out here quick,” she explained.

“You're not from around here, are you?” he continued, and he knitted his eyebrows together.

“It's okay, I'm not, either,” Joey assured her.

“California,” she replied, and they both gaped at her.

“Wow, long way from home,” Frank remarked.

“I was born near the L.A. area, but I lived in Carson City for four years. It was just—time for me to leave and start a new chapter, though.” She turned her attention to Joey. “You're not from here, either?”

“Sorta,” he clarified. “I'm from upstate. Frankie—” He gestured towards him. “—is from here in the Bronx so—ya got any questions, ask him.”

“And—if I head out to upstate, I can refer back to you?” she asked him.

“Absolutely!”

“Oh, yeah, you do anything upstate, Joey's your man,” Frank explained. “What's your name, by the way?”

“Samantha. Sometimes I go by Sam, though.”

“Sam, and not 'Tha?” Joey cracked.

“'Hand this over to 'Tha',” Frank joined in with a smirk on his face; that coaxed a giggle out of her. And then Joey's expression turned serious.

“So seeing as you're alone, let me reiterate—do you need any help?” he offered her.

“Do you guys wanna—help me?” She was taken aback by it. “You know, I don't want to impose.”

“You're not imposin',” Frank assured her with a shake of his head and a tucking of a lock of black hair behind his ear. “We're both moving so—you and I need all the help we can get. That's why we were both shocked to find you were here by yourself.”

“Movin' sucks,” Joey added. “Especially when you're going cross country like that.”

“Yeah, Joey moved from Oswego—his hometown—to be closer to New York City last year, to this little town called Kingston.”

“It's right up the road from here,” Joey pointed out, “like about an hour north from here. It was either there or to Camillus, outside of Syracuse, and it was like—I gotta be closer, you know?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah...” Sam's voice trailed off as she wondered why he had to be closer to New York City from an even more mysterious place such as upstate New York.

“But even though it really wasn't that far, it was hard,” Joey continued, “I was beat once I got settled into my new place. Like really, I lay down to go to bed and I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.”

“That is tired,” she agreed with him; and she folded her arms across her chest, “you know, come to think of it—one time, my dad was helping a friend of his move to a new house—not very far, either, like to the other side of town—and he was so tired by the end of it, he actually fell asleep standing up.”

“Oh, well, I got nuttin' on him then,” Joey teased her, and that brought a little smile out of her.

“Anyways, I found a little bed for myself—over there—” She pointed to the other side of the room. “—by the beds. A little twin. Now I just have to find sheets and blankets and a pillow—you know, all that crap.”

“Hey, me, too!” Frank's face lit up. “You wanna do that together?”

“Sure, why not? I'm not very good at picking out things like that, though.”

“I'm not, either,” he assured her. “But—let's see where it goes, though.”

Indeed, Frank and Joey led Sam into the upholstery section of the shop to help her out, and also for her to help the two of them out. She lingered behind them as she searched about the shelves for anything that caught her attention: she slipped past the two of them so as to reach the end of the aisle with the bedding and the bed sheets. She gathered herself when she spotted a set of blue satin and a comforter that looked as though it was made of velvet. She tucked it underneath her arm and then searched about the shelves for a pillow.

Frank and Joey's conversation behind her caught her ear but she was more focused on finding a soft pillow, a soft place for her head.

Frank burst out laughing at something, but Sam ran her hand over the surface of a plush bright pink pillow. Like petting a cat.

“Oh, girly!” Frank remarked; she turned her head to find him walking towards her. “That's so girlish, it's badass.”

“It's soft, too. Think I'll take this one...”

She scooped the pillow off of the rack and tucked it underneath her free arm. Both her arms quivered with soreness from carrying such heavy bags down the block to her new place, but she was more than willing to carry her new bedding back to the front.

“Hey, Sam I am—” Joey called after her. She turned to see him holding up a set of black sheets next to his head. “—what do you think about this?”

She ambled over to him to check them out for herself.

“Black Egyptian cotton,” Frank added.

“Ooh, lovely,” she remarked. She noticed a pair of furled throw blankets tucked under his arms, one under each arm. “What you got here?”

“A couple of blankets that, I'm not too sure how to pair them with these black sheets,” he explained. He held up the brown plaid one under his right arm, followed by a black and white one from under his left arm.

“The one in your left hand,” she quipped within a second.

“You like this one better?”

“Yeah, it looks like it fits the sheets better,” she remarked.

“Alright! This was easier than I thought.” Frank set the other blanket back onto the shelf.

Sam didn't hesitate to return to the front of the shop. She told the young clerk she had picked out the twin on the other side of the room and she wrote down the number on a pad of paper in front of her.

“She also needs it tonight,” Frank joined in.

“Okay! What's your address?” the clerk asked her.

“I'm right down the street,” Sam replied, “that apartment building after the stoplight.”

“Blackwood Villas,” Frank clarified.

“Apartment thirty two,” Sam added.

“Okay... I'll get a couple of guys down there in a bit,” she assured her with a final scribble on the paper.

Once they had paid for their new bedding, Frank and Sam stepped back outside. Joey followed suit with a towel tossed over his shoulders.

“I needed a new towel,” he explained.

“Frankie couldn't get towels, but you sure could, though,” Sam cracked.

“Exactly! That's what he and I were talking about earlier.”

The three of them walked together back to the crosswalk and then to the apartment building; Sam continued to linger behind the them, but she still stayed close with them given she was the newcomer. Frank ascended the steps first and held the front door for both her and Joey.

“Well, thank you to you both,” she said with a tremble to her voice.

“And thank you,” Joey told her as he adjusted the towel over his shoulders like he had been sweating out the whole day.

“By the way—if you want or need anything, I'm right down the hall here,” Frank told her.

“I'm sure I'm going to need you,” she pointed out. “'Cause—you know. Moving sucks.”

“Movin' sucks,” Joey echoed with a shrug of the shoulders.

“What're you gonna do?” she asked him.

“I think I'm gonna go get sump'n to eat,” he told her. “I'll see you tomorrow, Frankie.” He turned to her with a nonchalant look on his face. “And you have a good night, too.”

“You, too, Joey,” Sam replied, and that was when the two guys from the furniture shop arrived with her new bed. “I'll be sleeping comfy tonight!”

"Oh, and by the way, welcome to New York," Frank declared. "Enjoy your stay!"

"I think I will," she assured him.

[canyouerasemyscarsandbemysoilder]

Keeping A Secret

Type: One-Shot | Imagine about Grayson  Word Count: 3,442 Rating: Rated PG Enjoy! 

It was such a nice day in LA that I actually wanted to go out for a run. I normally would work out inside because it was so hot outside. I guess you could say I was used to the cold but wanted to change. I pulled my hair back as I made my way downstairs. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my phone and headphones. I made my way outside making sure my apartment was a lock before turning on my music. I started jogging down the sidewalk making my way to the park. It was good to get out and get some fresh air. I started making laps on the trails, just minding my own business. I finally stopped and looked out towards the lake.

“Nice view isn't it,” someone said.

“Yea it is” I nodded as I looked towards where the voice was coming from.

“I come here all the time, get away from the city scene” he admitted.

“Its nice and peaceful” I said.

“I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself. I'm Grayson” he said.

“I'm y/n” I said.

“Its nice to meet you” he smiled.

“You too” I nodded.

I walked further up the trail and started going off course. He followed me into the woods, grabbing my arm leading me down the hill. Once we were at the bottom of the hill he let me go, I followed him down to the water. I placed my bag down by the tree, slipping my shoes off. Walking down to the shore allowing the water to flow against my feet.

“I should go” he said.

“Oh yeah sure,” I looked back towards him.

“But I don't want too” he said as he walked towards me.

“Something is pulling us together and I can't explain it” I said.

“I don't want to explain it, I just want to enjoy it” he said.

“Then enjoy it” I said as I leaned down and splashed him with water.

He was shocked at first but he smiled as he leaned down splashing water. I laughed as I ran from him, he ran after me grabbing my arm. Pulling me towards him I rested my hand against his chest as I looked up at him. He rested his hand against my cheek, brushing his thumb against my skin. I slightly pulled away but not from his touch, I bite my lip as I looked back at him. He pulled me closer to him gripping my hip as I gazed into his eyes. I leaned in towards him moving my body closer to his. He leaned in towards me brushing his lips against mine slightly. I leaned into him slowly kissing him as we were interrupted.

“This is a public place for kids” someone yelled.

“We aren't doing anything wrong” Gray said as he turned his attention to the guy.

“Sorry” I said as I rushed to get my bag and slip my shoes back on.

“Wait” Grayson said as he rushed after me.

I finally made it back onto the trail and Grayson was right behind me. He grabbed my arm pulling me towards him. I pulled away from him as I looked up at him.

“Please don't leave” he said.

“I should, maybe we can hang out again?” I asked.

“I would love that” he said as he handed me his phone.

I took his phone and put my number in his phone before making my way back to the park. I knew he was behind me because that was the only way off the trail. We parted ways and I made my way back to the apartment. I went upstairs and started the shower. I allowed the water to heat up before getting into the shower. By the time I got out of the shower, I had a text from Grayson. He wanted to meet up later tonight at some restaurant. He made sure to imply that I enter the restaurant through the back door. I placed my phone back on the sink as I wrapped a towel around me. Now I had to decide what to wear but not look like I'm trying too hard. I put a few curls in my hair, did a little bit of makeup. Once I was finished with my makeup I went into my closet. I picked out a pair of jeans that fit me perfectly, and a crop top. I slipped on a pair of shoes and made my way out of my apartment. Unfortunately, it wasn't within walking distance so I had to get into my car. I finally made my way to the address that he sent me, I made sure to park around back. I saw him standing in the doorway as I pulled up. He smiled as he saw me, making his way to my car. He opened my door and offered his hand. I grabbed his hand and got out of the car.

“You made it” he smiled.

“Of course” I nodded.

“you look beautiful” he gently kissed my cheek.

“Thank you” I smiled.

He grabbed my hand and lead me into the building. There were music blasting and people enjoying their evening. I smiled as I followed him. He pulled me to one of the back rooms so that we were alone. I sat down on the couch as he went to get us drinks. He returned handing me a drink before sitting next to me. We started talking and we both lost track of time, it was so easy to talk to him.

“Hey Gray?” someone said as they walked in.

“What bro?” Grayson said as he got up.

“Didn't know you had company, sorry” Ethan said.

“Its fine, honestly what time is it?” Gray asked.

“Its almost 3 am” Ethan said.

“Wait there's two of you?” I asked as I got up/

“Yeah there is, he's my twin brother” Grayson said.

“Wow that's so cool”  I smiled as I looked at Grayson.

“Come out of this room and party with us,” Ethan said as he playfully punched Grayson.

“You down?” Gray said as he looked at me.

“Sure” I nodded.

We went down to the club part, it was just a few people. I guess it was an invite-only club, I had no idea. I ordered another drink as I sat at the bar. I took a few sips from my drink before dragging Grayson to the dance floor. I placed my arms around his neck as I swayed to the beat. He placed his hand against my hip as he moved our bodies closer together. I turned around grinding against him, his hands still placed against my hips. He leaned in towards me, I could feel his breath against my neck. I turned to face him resting my forehead against his, placing my hand against his chest. He leaned down slightly his lips lightly touching mine. I leaned into him, kissing him softly. His grip against my hips tightens as the kiss started to get intense. I slightly pulled away allowing my lips to linger against his. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, he smiled slightly. He leaned down slightly placing his hand against my cheek. Brushing his thumb against my skin before kissing me softly. I kept the kiss between us until I heard someone yell Grayson. I smiled as I pulled away I made my way back to the bar. Grayson came behind me placing his arm around my shoulders. I looked at his watch and realize what time it was. I got up and grabbed his hand leading him out of the bar. We made our way to the beach right before the sun started to rise. He moved behind me and wrapped his arms around me, resting his head against my shoulder.

“Its beautiful” he whispered.

“Breath taking” I said as I leaned back against him.

“Only way to catch the sunrise is to stay up all night” he smiled.

“Totally worth it” I said as I turned to face him.

“Totally” he placed his hand under my chin.

He leaned in and kissed me softly, I smiled against his lips. He slightly pulled away when his phone started to ring. He sighed as he picked it up, moving away from me. I watched the sunrise as he finished up on the phone. He made his way over to me, grabbing my hand.

“Come on” he said as he pulled me towards him.

“Alright” I nodded as I followed him.

He lead me back to my car and opened my door for me.

“Thank you, when will I see you again?” I asked.

“Soon” he said as he cupped my cheeks kissing me softly.

“I'm going to hold you to that” I said as I pulled away from the kiss.

“Good” he smiled.

I got into my car and left the parking lot, that's when I saw a line of people ]around the building. I didn't think much of it and just made my way back home. I crashed the moment my head hit the pillow. I didn't wake up until I heard my phone going off and realize that it was nearly 2pm. I sat up in bed and reached for my phone, it was just Grayson texting me. He was asking if I wanted to come over to his place later. I sent a message back saying of course and got out of bed. I made my way downstairs and fixed me something to eat. I sat down at the table eating my sandwich, scrolling on social media. I wasn't big on social media nor dd I really pay attention to it. It was just something to kill the time. Once I finished eating I went upstairs and took a shower. I took my time getting ready, just dancing around my room with a towel wrapped around me. I finally got dressed and left my apartment, I stopped to get a few things before heading over to Grayson's place. I pulled up into the driveway and before I could get out of the car Grayson came out. He opened my door and offered his hand, I grabbed his hand and got out of the car.

“Hey” he smiled as he hugged me.

“Hey” I said.

“I'm glad you could come over” he said.

“I got a few movies and popcorn, I didn't know what we were going to do” I grabbed the bag out of my car.

“Sounds fun, we have some board games” he said.

We went inside and went down to the den. We first started off with a few movies and popcorn then we moved to play board games. Of course, I beat him at monopoly and he beat me in snacks and ladders. He got up from the floor and stretched before reaching for my hand. I grabbed his hand and got up off the floor. He leads me down to their game room.

“A pool table, never played” I said.

“I can show you” he smiled.

“You can?” I looked at him.

He racked the ball and handed me a stick, he showed me how to hold it. I bite my lip as he moved behind me, placing his hand against my hip. He guided my hand to shot the cue against the ball, I leaned back against him slightly. He smiled as he felt me press against him. I made the shot and the ball scattered, I got a few into the pockets. Little did he know I already knew how to play, I just wanted him close. I took a few more shots with his guidance before showing my true colors.

“Hey you're good at this” he raised his eyebrow.

“I know” I started to blush slightly.

“What happen to you not knowing how to play?” he asked.

“Just wanted you close” I admitted.

“You could have just asked” he said as he moved closer to me.

Placing his hand against my hips as he pulled me closer to him. I rested my hand against his chest as I looked up at him. He smiled he leaned down allowing his lips to touch mine slightly. I leaned up slightly kissing him softly, placing my hand against the back of his neck. He lifted me up placing me onto the pool table, moving between my legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck keeping the kiss between us. He slightly pulled away resting his forehead against mine, I smiled as I looked at him.

“What time is it” he asked.

“I have no clue” I said.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, it was nearly 3 am.  “Well once again we've stayed up” he smiled.

“Oh well,” I bite my lip as I looked at him.

He grabbed my hand and lead me to his bedroom. He took his shirt off, I slipped my shoes off and sat on the bed. He laid back on the bed, I moved so I was next to him. Laying my head against his chest, tracing patterns against his stomach. He placed his arm around me, tracing his fingers against my arm. We both started to drift off to sleep and before we knew it we were both fast asleep. I was waken up by Grayson the next morning, he had breakfast. I sat up and stretched as he sat down on the bed. He handed me a drink and a bag of food, I took it from him seeing what he had gotten me.

“Thank you, what is this” I nodded towards the cup.

“Its orange juice, I didn't know if you were a coffee person or not” he said.

“I'm not and I love orange juice” I smiled.

“I'm glad I got it right, its a vegan breakfast sandwich” he said.

“I never hand one but would love to try it” I said as I took it out of the bag.

We just sat on his bed and ate our breakfast, for something I never had before I really liked the sandwich. He cleaned up after we finished eat and I finally got out of his bed. He came back in and pulled me close to him, brushing the hair from my face. I smiled as I looked up at him, he leaned down and kissed me softly.

“Hey Gray” Ethan said as he walked into the room. “Sorry,” he said as he saw us together.

“What E?” Grayson said as he pulled away from me.

“Just wondering what you were doing, but ill leave you two alone” Ethan said.

“Thanks” Grayson said as he turned back to face me.

“I need to go home, I got work to do” I said.

“See you soon?” he asked.

“Of course” I smiled as I slipped my shoes back on.

I grabbed my bag and made my way out of the house. He was following me opening my door as we got to my car. I turned to face him and kissed him softly. He smiled against my lips before pulling away, I got into my car. He shut my door as I started the car. I went back to my apartment and sat at the kitchen table with my laptop. It seemed like the moment I started to work the hours just flew by. I didn't realize what time it was until I heard my stomach growl. I decided to call Grayson to see if he wanted to go get something to eat.

“Hey” I said.

“Hey babe, what's up?” he asked.

“You want to go grab something to eat?” I asked.

“What where you thinking?” he said.

“Probably some restaurant downtown” I said.

“I cant babe, maybe another time” he said.

“Oh” I said as I was confused as to why he didn't want to come.

“Sorry, see you soon” he said.

“See you soon” I said as I hung up the phone.

Over the next few months, we would always hang together but never in public. It was always a dark club, at his place or even my place. I couldn't figure out why he never wanted to be in a public place. Well, that was until I did a google search on Grayson and that's when I found out who he was. That didn't explain why he didn't want to go out in public unless he didn't want to be seen with me. Was he ashamed of me? What was he doing with me? I had so many questions but no answers and I didn't know if I wanted to know the answers. I left my apartment and went over to his house, as always he was ready when I pulled up.

“Hey babe, get in” I said.

“I already made dinner, come in” he opened my door.

“Oh I thought we would go out” I said as I got out of the car.

“Maybe next time” he said.

I nodded as I walked behind him, hanging up my jacket by the door. I followed him to the backyard, he had fairy lights up and sat up a picnic.

“This is pretty” I said.

“I wanted to do something special” he said.

“Whats the occasion?” I asked.

“Because I just wanted too” he kissed my cheek before sitting down.

I sat down beside him as he pulled out the food. There was a lot of fruit, which we both loved and he made little sandwiches. We both sat and ate together as the sun started to set. As soon as we finished he got up and reached for my hand. I grabbed his hand and got up from the ground. He pulled me close to him placing my arms around his neck. Placing his hands against my hips, he nodded towards Ethan. Music started to play and I turned to look at Ethan before focusing back on Grayson. I moved closer to him and placed my head against his shoulder as we danced to the music.

“I wanted to say something” he whispered.

“I need to talk to you” I said.

“You can go first” he said.

“Are you ashamed of me?” I questioned.

“What? Where is that coming from?” he looked at me.

“I know who you are and you never want to be seen in public. Is it me?” I asked.

“Of course not. I just don't want you to deal with the backlash from the fans” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“They won't like that I have a girlfriend and they will attack you. I don't want that to happen, so I'm keeping you to myself” he said.

“Oh” I nodded as I looked at him.

“I'm not ashamed of you. I love you” he said, which was the first time he's said those words.

“You do?” I said.

“Yeah, that's what I wanted to say” he said.

“I love you too” I moved closer to him.

“you do” he smiled as he placed his hand against my chin.

“Yeah I do” I leaned up and kissed him softly.

“Please just know that I'm protecting you” he rested his forehead against mine.

“I trust you” I said.

“Good” he smiled, placing his hand against my neck before kissing my lips again.

We spent the rest of the night sitting in the yard watching the stars. After he explained why he didn't want to go in public I understood. He always made sure that I knew he wasn't ashamed of me. I enjoyed the time we spent more when it was just us. I hated the fact that he thought his fans wouldn't understand that he was happy but I trusted him. I normally never went on a walk in that park but I was glad I did that day months ago. It lead me to my knight in shining armor and I wasn't planning on letting go anytime soon.

[bangtansfavwriter]

🌷hobi having a crush on you 🌷

-hobi and you were inseparable, and when I say inseparable I mean it

-he introduced you to all of his friends and everyone knew you guys became a package deal

- he loooves spending time with you , which would already be a dead giveaway bc hobi's a really social guy, so him choosing to spend his time with you so often would already say a lot

-very playful and spontaneous, looots of laughter together

-you guys' favourite thing to do together would be karaoke and the two of you would put some singers to shame bc singing - check - dancing - audience wildin' and partying to you two - check bc the whole neighbourhood knew you by now and people would leave their own booth at the bar to come and watch you two (which would turn to spontaneous parties that would be absolutely legendary (and the place would be so packed that even dispatch would be like fuck no we ain't goin in))

-you'd come to watch bts' dance practices sometimes and just sit there and watch this completely different side of hobi come out

- he dances with such a passion that you can't do anything but watch him in awe, completely enthralled by the way he moves

-this was also something that made you fall for him slowly, you loved the fact that he was absolutely passionate about everything he does and puts his energy in

-and you admired him so much, bc he was still humble about his talent & also this innate ability to light up every room he walks in

- you almost felt like icarus trying to bask in the sun and sometimes felt like your feelings for him may get you too close and you would get hurt

-and whenever you would get into that mood, it would be hobi himself to snap you out of it, unknowingly

"hobi, there's no reason for me to come to the christmas party, you guys are like family, why would i be there?"

"nonsense, you're family, too. i want you to be there." ---and that's it, that's how he handled your moods, he always made you feel cherished and most importantly loved--

- he would play with your hair a lot and would be very touchy in general, the supreme method to shut down hobi.exe would be playing with his hair, he'd legit lay down and and go quiet, but chances are he's gonna fall asleep (and boy would he get cranky when you wake him up)

- he'd love to make you laugh and sing lil songs and do lil dances for you when you would make tea or something ("look it's y/n, making tea for mee, hobiii~, this sure looks like chamomile, chamomile is just my style, my legs are so sore, I'm gonna go lay on the floor..."*his voice fades* - "u ok there hobi?" - *weak* "no..") [btw chamomile tea helps with sore muscles ☺️]

- his spontaneous dances would be the best, he'd drop it to maluma and lowkey get emotional when you'd turn on some flamenco songs ("y/n, i should be a flamenco dancer, this music speaks to my soul" - "whatever you say, horacio" )

- he would sometimes give you very obvious signals:

"oh we're both wearing jean jackets, almost like a couple look hmmm~~~"

"you cooked for me ?? caring for me, like we're a couple hmmm~~~"

"look at us sharing our drinks like we're a couple hmmm~~~"

-and tbh, you guys would be the couple that has no idea that they're a couple bc you never truly established something along that lines

-but you truly liked him, after all, he's mr sunshine, with the most generous heart and boy's got the prettiest side profile you've ever seen (you knew you were whipped when you went for drinks with a friend and ended up being an emotional drunk who gushed about hobi's lil nose)

-hobi always gets shy when u praise him and you're like "BOI I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY LONG" and he'd go "noooo stop" and backflip to the other side of the room bc he got shy again but he secretly loves it (honestly, it would lift his entire mood, to a hyper extent.... one day you didn't have the time to stay for their dance practices and met hobi shortly before they started, to say bye and such, and you encouraged him to be strong, bc you knew how tough the new choreography was, and told him "you, horacio, dancing king of my heart, can do this, now go prove your title or I won't make you any pancakes for a week" and he SCREAMED in joy & spun you around like 3 times and sprinted to the practice room, you got one (1) single text from jin at 02.17 am, which you opened, confused at hell, it just said: "idk what you said to hobi before practice but you owe me a spa weekend for the muscle pain i have rn")

-but hobi is only human too, he also gets into low moods, which you help him through by simply not going anywhere even when he detaches himself from you and everyone else for that matter

-you knew he had to recharge and gave him some space without entirely distancing yourself from him ofc, you guys would still text tho from time to time

-you knew that he had practice again and one day you stopped by with some food you prepared for him and gave it to a staff member to pass it to hobi, bc you didn't want to intrude, and hobi would text you back a pic of the empty lunch boxes you packed for him with a caption like this: "👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻💗💖💝💓💞💕🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️" (hobi talk for "you are and angeeeel, i loooove you & thank youuu") and you were happy with yourself and happy for hobi bc you knew this would cheer him up

-he came over to yours like 2 days later and your heart ached a little bc he was obviously exhausted but still shot you a smile when you opened the door

- you pulled him inside and hugged him, neither of you spoke a word, hobi just sighed and buried his face in your neck

- he came inside and you made tea for the two of you and prepared some snacks too and you caught him looking at you a few times, but his gaze was different... you couldn't quite pinpoint what it was and just thought that's it's probably just random and that he's tired, since he also didn't speak a lot that evening.. anyway you chilled in front of the tv and had a night in, which he gladly accepted because his legs were so sore he wasn't even sure if he could leave your place in first place

-so you spread out on one sofa, while hobi layed down on to the other one

-whenever you weren't looking, hobi stared at you with the most smitten look on his face, especially when you'd giggle about some scene in the movie you were watching, and unable to contain his feelings for himself, he'd flat out tell you:

"you know, if there wouldn't be a risk of me face-planting onto the floor, I'd be on that couch and kiss you"

- he couldn't quite tell if his words made your face go red or if it was bc of your near-death experience after choking on your nachos when korea's dancing king told u he wants to smooch

(-"you ok now ?"

"yeah, alive and kicking"

"good bc- don't eat that now- I have plans for us 👀"

"maybe I do too 👀👀"

" 👀👀👀")

however, you decided you should talk this out when both of you were less tired

- but you didn't... bc hobi was busy again

- days had passed and hobi didn't say a word which was really disheartening for you bc after that kiss-statement you really thought you would finally clarify what was going on between you two and talk about dating and stuff, so you mustered all your courage and texted him: "hey, i know ur busy and all, which is why im gonna keep it as short as possible.... hoseok, i wanna talk about what you said to me the other day and i know this could potentially change our friendship forever, but i liked you for a while now and I wanna now if you were just joking around back then or if u actually were serious"

-the next hours would be absolutely agonizing for you bc deep down you truly feared that this may ruin your friendship with him, but you needed clarity, even though it was really clear that he liked you, but you weren't sure how and asked yourself if you may have read too much into his actions and words.... you threw your phone on your bed and tried keeping yourself busy with something that would keep you from looking at your phone. you failed miserably tbh and you were contemplating deleting the text the entire time... "this is so stupid, I can't risk this..." you thought and were about to open the messenger to delete your text, when you saw that he texted back....: "you never call me hoseok" (you had to took deep breaths to calm yourself down or you would probably have stormed into bighit and throw your phone at him)

- you: "this is really all you have to say ???? "

and he texted back shortly after and you were like oohhh, im gonna grill jung hoseok now

him: "well you never call me hoseok, so I guess this is very serious to you"

you: "yeah NO SHIT sherlock, i confessed my feelings for you and this is how you answer me ?????

him: "im serious too, don't be like that!"

you: "well how tf should i know if you're serious or not??"

him: "you could open your door and find out"

-to use the word "dumbfounded" for how you felt the second you read that would be the understatement of the century, you threw your phone away and bolted to the door

-and there he was.. standing there and smiling at you as radiantly as ever

- he held a plush in one hand and playfully waved at you with the other the other, in which he was holding his phone. he gave you the plush and laughed at you bc you still were completely baffled, but you started laughing too

- you: mang beats any flower anyways.. (you took the mang plush and put it on a rack by the door)

him: yup! and why buy flowers when you have me? *does the flower pose*

- you: you're unbelievable, jung hoseok

him: ohh full name now, it's getting very serious ~

you: stop teasing!!

-you felt that you were blushing and turned away from him, still unable to hide your smile. hobi laughed while he quickly stepped through the doorway, just in time to grab your wrist and make you face him again. "look at us, y/n, playfully bickering like a couple hmm~~", he said and gave you a smirk that made your knees weak, but you'd be damned if you'd show him that. So you looked him straight into his eyes with a cocky smile and asked: "anything you wanna ask me, jung hoseok?"

"you don't even know what you do to me with that smile of yours, sweetheart..."

"answer the question, jung hoseok."

"look at us us, flirting like a couple hmm~~"

(you didn't even notice how close you two were standing until there were only a few inches between your lips and his)

"I'm waiting", you whispered.

"i really think... ", he began and gently cupped your face meanwhile... "i really think that we should be a couple" he said and finally closed the little space which had remained between your lips.

[bigherosixfeels]

Okay kinda got a cute idea for a fic request. Considering there's been a lot going on in the world right now, how about Hiro helping Megan through a bad time in her life?

Aw, sounds good!

---

Homesick

Fandom: Big Hero 6: The Series

Rating: K

Characters: Hiro Hamada and Megan Cruz

Word Count: 1,625

Summary: Megan misses her previous homes

---

The first two weeks of summer vacation had already come and gone. Everyone in San Fransokyo was out and about, going anywhere they pleased. The Lucky Cat tended to do better than usual with business when school was out, resulting in Hiro lending his aunt an extra hand during work hours. His spare time went into night patrols alongside his friends, who were currently looking for work since graduating. 

What was a bit concerning to the teen genius though was that he hadn’t heard much from his good friend Megan in awhile. He hadn’t seen her since the day Trina attempted to unleash her robot revolution on the city. They had briefly texted a couple times before school let out. Since then, Megan hadn’t contacted him once. It was unlike her. Megan was an extremely social person. Hiro figured by now, they would have hung out with more free time on their hands. 

Hiro tried not to be too worried at first. Perhaps she was spending more time with her dad? Or she had plans with other friends? 

After awhile, a thought had occurred to him that maybe she needed space after the whole ordeal with Trina. While Megan initially wanted to get more involved in superheroing since discovering Hiro’s identity, what happened that day had to have been overwhelming. Trina did capture her for a short time. 

With that unsettling memory in mind, Hiro decided to reach out to her. A simple text asking how she was doing. A text that not only she didn’t respond to, but also never read. Was she okay? Was she purposely avoiding him?

After a couple of days with still no response and concerns rising, Hiro took a trolley that let him off in Megan’s neighborhood. He walked at a fast pace as he neared closer to the apartment complex. A wave of apprehension overcame his nerves as he entered the building, accelerating the closer he got to her home.

Not to his surprise, Chief Cruz answered the door. Although, what was surprising was the chief’s attitude towards Hiro. The strict, overprotective man who was always cautious when allowing Hiro to go up to Megan’s room was uncharacteristically welcoming. It may have had something to do with him having more of an appreciation for the young prodigy after rescuing his daughter. However, upon being told that Megan was in her room, he also made a remark about how she could probably use some company right now. There was a hint of sadness in his tone that Hiro chose not to comment on. It only made him worry more, all the more glad that he chose to stop by for a visit.

Hiro walked up the stairs that led to Megan’s room. His eyebrows knit at the closed door, wondering what she was up to. What was going on? Why did her father think she needed company? Had she been up in her room since school ended? 

The teenager paused upon reaching Megan’s bedroom door. Hiro let out a quick, inaudible sigh. He hated the thought of his good friend not doing well. Megan was such a good person. She helped Hiro experience a more casual, teenage lifestyle and had his back in desperate times. If she’s been troubled, the least Hiro could do is help. 

Reaching his arm out, Hiro gave two firm knocks on the door. 

A loud, exasperated groan was made on the other side. “I’m fine, Dad!” 

Hiro flinched. He hadn’t expected that to be the reaction. Clearly, her dad had been checking up on her multiple times. “M-Megan, it’s me!” Hiro responded. “Hiro.” 

There was a short silence. “Hiro?” 

Before Hiro had a chance to say anything else, he could hear Megan’s footsteps approaching closer. Soon enough, the door swung open. The aspiring journalist was in her usual shirt and jeans; her black jacket tucked away due to the summer heat gradually increasing. 

However, the first thing Hiro noticed about her was the dark circles under her eyes. Along with that were widened eyes and a small frown. She raised an eyebrow as Hiro continued to stand in front of her. Hiro noticed this. What was she thinking about? 

“What are you doing here?” 

The soft, yet dejected tone in her voice made a frown form across Hiro’s face. She was usually so excited when he would come over. Something must really be bothering her. 

“I came to see how you were doing.” Hiro sighed heavily. “We haven’t hung out in awhile and you never responded to the last text I sent you.” His frown deepened as he looked over her facial expression again. “Are you alright?” 

Megan glanced down at the floor. She debated what to say and what to do. A lot was going on in her mind, but the last thing she wanted to do was push Hiro away. Especially since he stopped by just to check on her. 

“Come in,” she suggested. She walked out of the doorway, holding her arm out as she invited Hiro into her room. 

Hiro nodded before stepping inside her room. She led the way to her bed, which was neatly made with the exception of the comforter being wrinkled from where she had recently sat. Hiro took a seat at the end of her bed where Megan distanced herself in the middle. 

For a minute, the teens sat in complete silence. They looked away from one another, both trying to find the right words to say. Eventually, Hiro looked Megan’s way first. 

“Megan...i-if this is about what happened with Trina and the whole robot revolution, I am so sorry  you got caught up in that mess. I should have been more--” 

“What?” Megan cut him off. She shook her head at him. “Hiro, I’m not upset because of that.” 

Hiro blinked in shock. He wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or more uneasy. On the one hand, it was reassuring to know that she hasn’t been too shaken up from that experience. Though now, he was somehow more anxious. What was causing her to be sad? 

“O-okay...then what’s up?” 

Megan’s face fell into a deeper frown. Not wanting her friend to see her so distraught, she faced away from him. She sighed, closing her eyes as she collected all her thoughts together. 

“I’ve just been thinking about the places I used to live before my dad and I moved here,” Megan admitted. She gained the courage to look back over at Hiro again. “You know he’s been transferred before because of his job. So, every time that’s happened, I’ve been to different cities. Different schools. Different people…” Megan clutched onto her arms. “I have friends all around the state. Most of them I haven’t seen in months or years. I’ve been reaching out to them, but everyone has been travelling since summer break started. This sucks…” 

With a frustrated huff, Megan brought her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She leaned her chin against her right knee, pursing her lips as her mind went back to thinking of all the friends she’s had to say goodbye to over the years. 

Hiro was at a loss of what to do. He couldn’t relate to how Megan felt. He wanted to provide the comfort she clearly needed, but was unsure how. No wonder she was so upset. She was apart from a lot of her friends and it was making her lonesome. Moving from place to place made maintaining her friendships harder. 

The young prodigy gave a sympathetic frown Megan’s way. He reached his hand out, gently placing it on her shoulder. The second Megan felt his touch, she looked over to her friend. 

“I’m really sorry, Megan.” Hiro sighed. “I...I can’t imagine how hard that is.” 

“It’s just a little frustrating,�� Megan admitted. “I want to see them, but for a lot of reasons I can’t. You’re so lucky, Hiro. You’ve lived in San Fransokyo your whole life!” 

Hiro nodded. “Yeah, that’s true…” He rubbed a hand at the back of his head. “But you’re lucky too. I mean, sure you’ve had to move a lot, but you’ve gotten to live in a lot of different places. That’s cool too! You love photography. I can only imagine all the photos you’ve taken of everywhere you’ve been so far.” 

Megan cracked a tiny smile. “Yeah...I have actually.” 

“See? I’m not much for travelling, but I still think it’s awesome that you’ve gone so many places. I’m sorry that all the moving has made it hard to stay in touch with your friends though.” 

“It’s alright.” Megan shrugged. “I guess...it’s not all bad. If I hadn’t moved, I never would have met any of them in the first place. The good thing is that I’ve always met at least one really great person everywhere I’ve been.” She smiled widely at Hiro. “That includes you of course.” 

Hiro chuckled. “Thanks. You know, I don’t exactly have friends my age or a more normal teenage lifestyle. So I’m glad we’re able to hang out when we can.” 

“Me too.” 

Hiro scooted over closer to Megan. Once their proximity was merely inches apart, the teenagers wrapped their arms around one another in a happy embrace. More than anything, Hiro was glad he had stopped by. He was able to cheer his friend up again and understand why she had been distant. 

After a few seconds they pulled away. The smile that had managed to make its way on Megan’s face was far from fading. 

Hiro got up from her bed. “How about we go to Joe’s Diner? It’s on me this time.”

Megan giggled, standing up to follow him. “You’re the best. That sounds great.”

---

Yay, I finally got a request done! This was a cute one to do. Hiro and Megan have such an underrated friendship. I like to headcanon that since Chief Cruz is a police chief/officer, they’ve had to move around a lot with his job. Anyway, thank you so much for the request @blxndeichiban! I hope you enjoyed it! :D

[tysonbaerrie]

it don't always go the way we planned it

For my hockey babes @bisexualtylerseguin, @blameitonmyjuuse, @ohstarlings and @austonandersen who never fail to make me smile and are always ready to flail over Bennguin and come up with ridiculous, dramatic theories as to why they aren’t hugging. Title is from “The Bones” by Maren Morris. 

It's the last night that Tyler's in the Bahamas that it happens. They've all gathered for dinner when Jamie and Katie walk in hand-in-hand, beaming and happy and so in love that it makes Tyler's stomach hurt. They haven't even sat down when Jessie gasps, pointing to Katie. That's when Tyler sees it, the unmistakable sparkle on Katie's left hand. 

"About time!" Jordie exclaims as Katie leans into Jamie, his face quickly growing red. 

The table explodes with congratulations and good wishes, and Tyler stays frozen in his seat. He hadn't told Tyler that he was even thinking about proposing, and what did it say about the state of their friendship that Tyler hadn't known? They were best friends, linemates, the face of the franchise and Tyler hadn't known. 

He watches as Katie flashes the ring, beautiful and classic and so very her. Jessie and Kate and the other women at the table ooh and aah over it and Jamie stands by her, looking increasingly uncomfortable at the attention but also staring at Katie as though she's the center of his universe. Tyler can't stand it, having the last bit of his hope dashed. He feels his heart cracking in his chest, and he feels both hot and cold at the same time, and it's hard to breathe in the way it feels when he takes a particularly hard hit to the boards. He pushes away from the table without a word, not even a glance to Kate, his mind scattered and frantic but sure that he had to leave that he had to be away. 

He turns his phone off and doesn't lift his head from underneath the blankets when Kate returns to their room. She's silent and the air is tense around them as she changes clothes and climbs in next to him. She's still and quiet and Tyler can feel the change when she sags down into the bed. 

"Ty?" She tries, and he knows that she knows he's awake but he can't answer her. "Ty, I like you, but when we get back to Dallas...I think we're done."

Tyler expects it to hurt, but the only image that comes to mind is Jamie, and Jamie and Katie, and the ring on her finger. Kate being the brave one and ending things between them brings only relief. 

The next morning, Kate meets the girls for one last breakfast while Tyler showers and packs, preparing to head straight from the islands to St. Louis for All-Star weekend. Before, he hated that Jamie wasn't going with him, but now he's not ashamed to admit that he's looking forward to some space from his best friend. A knock on his door pulls him from his thoughts, and he's surprised to find Jamie standing on the other side, hands in his pockets as he stares at him. 

"Hey." Tyler greets him, and he feels ashamed at the crack in his voice. 

"Hey." Jamie replies. "Can we talk?"

"Sure, yeah, come on in." Tyler steps out of the doorway to allow Jamie in, and he watches Jamie scan the room. 

"Kate's at breakfast with Jessie and a few of the other girls."

"Yeah, Katie's there too." Jamie replies as he starts pacing the room. Tyler finds himself wringing his hands, waiting for Jamie to tell him what he came here for. He just paces though, running his hand over the back of his neck and then scratching his fingers through his beard. The face he makes is one that Tyler's seen countless times, when he's struggling to find the right words in the locker room when they're down and out after the second and he needs to say the exact right thing. 

"What's up, man?" Tyler finally cracks, trying to sound casual as Jamie freezes. 

"You ran out on dinner last night."

"Yeah, sorry, I just wasn't feeling well." Tyler knows it's lame, but it's the best he's got when Jamie turns his gaze to him, his eyes wide and full of hurt. 

"You ran out as soon as Katie and I walked in."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Quit saying you're sorry. I know you don't like Katie, but..."

"I like Katie!" And the truth is, Tyler really does. He likes her, he thinks she's great, but then there's Jamie and she's the one who gets to have him and for a moment he hates her. Jamie gives him a disbelieving look. 

"Okay, but we just got fucking engaged and you just walked out. So what am I supposed to think?"

"It's not...I..." Tyler tries, feels the panic rising and his breathing quicken. "Jamie, please."

"Please, what? I just don't understand. You've always been distant with her, at first I thought...I don't know, but it's been years and now we're getting married and it's...I just wish you could be happy for me."

"I am, Chubbs, I am happy for you. If Katie's what makes you happy-"

"She is." Jamie interrupts, and Tyler sighs. 

"Then that's enough for me."

"Then why are you acting like this?" Jamie looks at him and Tyler wants to laugh, cry, grab the other man by the shoulders and shake him. "I just don't understand why you aren't happy about this." And he looks so genuinely confused and hurt that Tyler finally does let a harsh laugh escape, collapsing onto the bed with his head in his hands. 

"You know why." He finally whispers, so quiet that he's not sure Jamie hears him. "You have to know why."

"What?" Jamie finally asks, sitting next to him. "Do you...do you have feelings for Katie?"

"Oh, god." Tyler groans, wishing it were that simple. "No. Not Katie."

"But...oh."

Yeah. Tyler thinks. Oh.

"But you never said..." Jamie begins, and Tyer scoffs.

"Why would I? I knew you didn't feel the same. Why put us both through that kind of embarrassment?"

"Ty, I..."

"Please, Jamie. Don't. Don't make this any worse." Tyler jumps up, grabs his bags, and leaves the room without looking back at Jamie once. 

All-Star weekend is a disaster. Tyler's distracted, and heartbroken, and he has to put on his media face and be the happy-go-lucky Tyler Seguin that everybody knows and loves. He loses to skills competition to Patrick fucking Kane, and then they're knocked out in the actual game and just like that, his weekend is over. He's on a plane back to Dallas with absolutely no clue how he's going to deal with the fallout of his hotel room admission. 

He goes straight home, ignores the calls and texts on his phone except for one from Cassidy mocking him for losing the shooting stars competition. He replies with a series of middle finger emojis before locking his phone and collapsing onto the couch and losing himself in Netflix. 

There's no texts from Jamie. 

They have practice the next day, and Jamie is distant and quiet, only talking to him when they're on the ice and only about hockey. Tyler doesn't try to joke with him, avoids looking at him except when absolutely necessary. He's terrified of what he'll see there. Anger or disgust or - worse- pity. He hasn't seen anything on social media announcing Jamie and Katie's engagement, but he assumes they're waiting until perhaps the offseason when there's less attention on them. It doesn't make it hurt any less, because it's still real and it still feels like Tyler's losing Jamie in every way possible. 

When Jamie scores that amazing goal in OT against Tampa Bay the next night, Tyler's so lost in the euphoria of the win that he spreads his arms for Jamie without even thinking, waiting for the other man to crash into him in celebration.

It doesn't happen. 

Instead, he skates past him into Comeau, Perry, and Pavelski. Tyler stays on the periphery, watching as the team celebrates their victory as the crowd screams around them. 

Later, Jamie talks to the media and Tyler uses the extra time to shower and change and leave the arena before anyone has a chance to talk to him. His house is empty, but blessedly quiet, and he pulls a beer from the fridge and chugs half of it in one go. He'd always feared that Jamie would distance himself from him if he ever found out about Tyler's feelings, but he had never expected that it would hurt quite this much. He feels like he's lost everything in one go - his best friend, his linemate, the man he loves. He feels truly alone for the first time since he left Boston so many years ago. 

The pounding on his door is not a friendly knock. 

He briefly considers not answering, but the pounding continues with an intensity that tells him whoever it is isn't going anywhere. He checks the video on his doorbell and feels his stomach clench as Jamie comes into view. He pulls the door open and finds himself face to face with the other man. He's wearing a loose-fitting black t-shirt and well-worn jeans, his hair still slightly damp from his post-game shower despite the frigid temperature outside. 

"Jamie?"

"How long?" Jamie asks, and for the first time in years, his face is unreadable to Tyler. 

"How long what?"

"How long have you had...feelings for me?"

Tyler stares at him, shaking his head. Did Jamie really come all the way to his house to hash this out again?

"Come inside." Tyler finally replies, opening the door wider. He shuts it firmly, leaning his forehead briefly against the closed door before turning to face Jamie. 

"Why do you want to know, Jamie?"

"I just...please. I need to know." Jamie looks lost, and hurt, and it's something that Tyler never wanted to see on his face. He never wants to be the cause of any of Jamie's pain. 

"I don't know." Tyler finally admits, running his hand through his hair as he paces in front of Jamie. "I was attracted to you since we first met. It just...grew, I guess. I couldn't pinpoint an exact moment." Tyler hesitates for a moment before deciding that, if he's going to fucking himself over forever, he might as well do it right. "I feel like...at this point, I feel like I've always loved you."

Jamie turns away from him at that, casting his eyes to the ceiling, and Tyler knows that this is it. This is the moment that Jamie tries to let him down easy. Tries to be kind and gentle in breaking Tyler's heart. 

"You should've told me." Jamie finally tells him, rubbing his hands across his face. "You should've told me years ago."

"Why would I do that? It would have changed anything."

"It would have changed everything!" Jamie snaps, and just like that Tyler freezes, the anger in Jamie's voice something that he's only seen directed at other people. Never him. "Everything! I wouldn't have spent years trying to get over you, wouldn't have forced myself to move on, to try to find something who made me feel a fraction of what I feel for you!"

"I...what?" Tyler can't speak, can't think, because this...this is impossible. "You...had feelings for me?"

"Of course I did!" Jamie's pacing now, his eyes frantic and looking everywhere but at Tyler. "But I thought...I thought there was no way you felt the same. So, finally, I tried to move on. I met Katie, and I thought 'hey, maybe this could work. Maybe I'll finally get over Tyler and have a shot at being happy.' And I was! I was happy, I was going to marry Katie, and then you tell me that this whole time - this whole time - you felt the same!"

Tyler catches the past tense at was going to marry and freezes. He feels a small flicker of hope flare in his chest. If there was a chance, no matter how small...

"Jamie...are you engaged to Katie?" Tyler asks, and Jamie goes silent, stops pacing, the only sound in the house their heavy breathing. 

"Not anymore." Jamie finally admits, his shoulders sagging as the fight leaves him. 

Tyler kisses him. 

He feels Jamie freeze against him, but it only takes a moment for Jamiet to grip Tyler's waist, pulling him closer and changing the angle of their kiss. Tyler feels like he's going to explode out of his skin, the only things keeping him in one piece are the places where Jamie's touching him. It's chaste, as far as kisses go, but it makes Tyler feel more in one moment than all the lust-fueled kisses he's ever had in his life. It's everything that Tyler's ever wanted, and he honest-to-god whimpers when Jamie pulls away. He rests his forehead against Jamie's, breathing in the shared air between them. 

"I'm sorry." Tyler finally whispers, and Jamie pulls away to give him a questioning look. "I know you care about Katie. She didn't deserve to get hurt because of this."

"She gets it. I told her once, about you. I mean, she's mad as hell, but...she gets it."

"I love you." Tyler slides his hands up to cup Jamie's face. Jamie's smile is kind, gentle, and Tyler knows in his gut that this is it for him. 

"I love you, too." Jamie replies, and Tyler takes that as an invitation to kiss him again, this time with more fervor. Jamie groans when Tyler rubs against him, and it only makes Tyler more curious about the sounds he can pull out of Jamie. 

"Not that this isn't super romantic and shit." Tyler pulls away from Jamie, dropping kisses along his jaw and neck. "But will you please take me upstairs and fuck me?"

Jamie laughs, turns Tyler around, and shoves him toward the stairs. 

[waywardaardvark79]

Come Hell or High Water Part 8: Come Hell or High Water

Summary: Blackwick, Montana was going to be a fresh start for you and your five year old daughter. You moved in across the street from Officer Dean Winchester, and quickly found that you were able to help him. Will Dean be able to help you when your past comes back to haunt you?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

 Warnings: language, angst, break in, danger

                        One week later

            The three of you had just finished breakfast, Dean having spent every night with you, no longer rattling off different excuses, when Sam walked in to the kitchen. You greeted him with a smile as he slapped a newspaper down on the table, "You made the front page." he said.

 Your eyes quickly scanned the paper focusing on the picture that was dead center. Officer Dean Winchester and his date Ava Jeane Y/L/N at the annual Blackwick Father Daughter dance, the caption below the photo read. "We're famous!" Aj yelled as she snatched up the paper for a closer look. "Look, momma! I'm in the paper." she excitedly said. 

"I see that, honey." you replied trying to keep the worried tone out of your voice. "You didn't tell me that  they were going to put pictures in the paper." you said to Dean. 

He turned to face you, "I didn't think they would. Must have been short on news this week." he said, studying your face. He watched as you fidgeted with your napkin, knowing the reason that you were so nervous, but not being able to tell you that it would be ok without exposing his secret.

 "I, uh, I'll be right back. I forgot I had something for work I needed to check on." you rambled out as you quickly excused yourself from the table. 

Dean looked over to Sam, "Hey Sammy, why don't you and Aj take Rocky for a walk." Dean said. Sam quickly caught on, and ushered Aj and Rocky out of the kitchen. Dean followed them into the living room to the front door, "Just give us a little time." he said so that only Sam could hear.

 Sam nodded, "Let's go guys." he said as he walked Aj  and Rocky outside.

              Dean stood in the doorway of your office and watched you pace back and forth, your hands running through your hair. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked.

 You stopped, and turned on your heel to face him. You started to open your mouth to speak, but couldn't find the right words to say without giving everything away. "Is this about the picture?" Dean asked even though he knew it was. 

You sighed, "Yes."

 "Sweetheart, it's just a picture. Everything is going to be ok." Dean said as he took a couple steps toward you. 

You shook your head, "You don't understand Dean. We're not safe now." you said as you wildly glanced around your office. "I've....I've....we've got to go." you mumbled out, your mind racing with a million thoughts.

 Your words filled Dean with panic. You couldn't leave. He couldn't lose the two of you. "He won't find you. I'll keep you both safe." he quickly said. 

Your mind didn't register his words at first. "No, he always finds us. He'll find us. I got to go." you said.

 Dean took a few more steps toward you, slowly closing the gap between you. "He isn't going to find you. Sweetheart, I promise Danny will never touch you again." he said, not realizing his slip until he saw your whole body tense. 

You turned to face him, "What did you say?" you whispered.

 Dean quickly tried to backtrack, "I said no-one is gonna find you. You are both safe." he said. 

You shook your head, "How do you know that name?" you asked.

 Dean looked down at the ground, refusing to answer the question. "I asked how do you know that name?" you gritted out, your voice slowly growing in volume.

Dean looked up at you with sad eyes, and you knew that he knew everything. "Y/N, I just." he started, but you quickly cut him off. 

"Answer the question, Dean. How do you know that name?" you asked. 

He slumped his shoulders and hung his head, "I read it in the police file." he said. 

"The police file?" you asked, your voice eerily calm. 

Dean looked up at you, "Sam tracked down his file. We just wanted to keep you safe." he said.

 "So Sam knows everything too?" you asked.

 Dean nodded, "We figured out something was wrong, and Sam made some calls, and got the file. It was for your own good. I just want to keep you safe." he said in his defense. 

"That isn't your place!!" you exploded.

 Dean took a step back before matching your volume, "Not my place? Of course it's my place. I love you!" he shouted.

 "You went behind my back, and dug up my past. Did you run a background check on me? Find out my social security number, blood type, and credit score?" you spat out. 

Dean shook his head, "I just wanted to protect you. You wouldn't talk about it, so I did what I had to do." he said.

 "You never asked me!" you yelled.

 "I gave you plenty of opportunities to tell me." he said.

 You shook your head, "You had no right to do that." 

Dean looked at you for a moment, "Had no right? I had no right to know about the psycho after my family?" he asked. 

"We aren't your family!" you spat out in anger, instantly regretting the words. You watched as Dean recoiled from you, hurt from your statement evident on his face.

 "You know she knows. She told me how you had nightmares about the bad man. How he was a monster, and you ran whenever he found you. I know you think you are protecting her, but she knows, and she's scared. She told me about the bruises and the scars. Made me promise not to say anything because she didn't want to make you sad. What are you gonna do when he catches up, Y/N? What are you gonna do when it isn't just you taking everything next time? What if he gets ahold of Aj?" he asked, venom dripping from his words.

 "I would never let that happen." you said.

 "You might not be able to stop him, and you can't run forever." he said.

 "I would die before I let him touch her." you said. 

"Yeah, and what's gonna stop him from doing that. Looks like he got pretty close the last time." he said. 

"What do you want me to say, Dean? Want me to just let you step in and be my knight in shining armor? This isn't your problem. It isn't your mess. We are fine. We are gonna be fine. I just got to go, and."

 Dean cut you off, "Move? Run? Stop running and face your problems. Stop dragging your daughter all over the country because you are too scared to ask for help." he said. 

"Too scared? You think I'm too scared to ask for help? You read the fucking file Dean. You know I tried. Fuck, I tried everything. Restraining orders didn't work. Him basically killing me wasn't enough. You know they drug me through the dirt at that trial, and he got off with misdemeanor assault, but you knew that. So, I don't know what you want me to do, because asking for help hasn't done a God Damn thing." you said.

 "Let me help you." he pleaded. 

You looked him up and down as he stood before you, begging you to let him help you, and you did the only thing you knew how to do. You raised your walls back up, and prepared to face your problem alone. "I just need some time to think." you said.

 "Y/N." he said.

 "I need time to think Dean, and I need you not to be here." you said.

 Dean threw his head back and let out a slow breath, "Promise me you won't run. Promise me you'll let me help you." he said.

 "I won't go anywhere for now. That's the best I can do." you said.

 "What's that mean for us?" he asked.

 "I don't know Dean. I just....I just need some time." you said knowing that you had other things to worry about.

 Sam returned with Aj and Rocky not long afterward, the tension in the room so thick, that he quickly excused himself. You told Aj to go up to her room and play, and then stood awkwardly in front of Dean, neither one of you knowing what to say. "You want space. I'll give you space, but Rocky stays here." he said. 

You started to argue with him, but decided against it,  too  emotionally drained to keep going. "Ok." you said. 

Dean looked at the door, hesitant to leave, but finally opened it. "I'm here when you're ready." he said before turning and walking away. You closed and locked the door behind him, your mind racing with a million thoughts, regret being the main one.

                    Three weeks later                Dean had kept his distance, keeping his visits to a minimum. Often just stopping by to check on Rocky and play with Aj for a few moments, promising her that he would start coming over more as soon as he wasn't so busy at work. Dean was cordial with you, but you knew that he was hurt by your decision, and you didn't know what to do to fix it.

           It was nearing eleven that night, you were sitting on the couch, Aj asleep in your lap, and Rocky curled up at your side, the credits of the movie you were watching rolling across the screen. You were about to stand up and take Aj to bed when you heard the knob of your front door jiggle.

 You put your focus on the door, thinking that it was Dean coming to check in, but the door didn't open. You sucked in a quick breath, and watched the knob continue to jiggle as if someone was trying to get it to turn. Without a second thought you quickly stood up and raced to the bathroom, calling Rocky after you.

 You slammed the door behind you, waking Aj who was still in your arms, cradled protectively against your chest. "Momma." she said.

 "Shhh....baby." you whispered trying to listen.

 You heard a few loud sounds, and then the telltale cracking of your front door as it was kicked in. You sat Aj down, placing your body between her and the bathroom door, as you reached down to lock it, knowing the flimsy door wouldn't protect you for long. 

You reached into your pocket for your phone, and silently cursed yourself when it wasn't there. In your haste to get to the bathroom you had left it laying on the coffee table. You were doing your best to remain calm and keep Aj from worrying when you finally heard him speak. "Y/N." he sang out. "Come on, baby. I know you're in there." he said. 

You raised your finger to your lips and motioned Aj to stay quiet. She nodded her head, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Ava. Come out here and say hello to daddy. I've missed you love bug." he said.

 Your mind was racing with different things to do when you suddenly focused in on the small bathroom window. You crouched down in front of Aj, "Ok. Baby, I need you to listen to me. I'm going to help you out the window, and I want you to run to Dean's. Baby, I want you to run as fast as you can, and don't stop. No matter what you hear, you don't stop until you get there. Can you do that for me?" you asked your voice shaking.

 "Come with me, momma. I'm scared." she said.

 "Y/N, come out, come out ,wherever you are." you heard Danny sing out. 

You turned your attention back to Aj, "Honey, momma needs you to be a big girl. I need you to run. Promise me you won't stop until you get there." you said. 

Aj had tears running down her cheeks, but she nodded her head, "I promise." 

You quickly crossed the bathroom and pushed open the window before picking her up. " I love you, baby, but I need you to tell me what you are gonna do?" you asked.

 "Run to Dean's. Don't stop until I get there." she said, her little voice shaking with fear. 

You helped her out the window the best you could, getting her as low to the ground as you could before letting go. You watched as she hit the ground, and quickly got up and started to run.

 You closed the window and frantically searched the bathroom for something you could use as a weapon. You came up empty and braced your back against the door, hoping to keep him out for as long as you could. You watched as the hair on Rocky's back rose and he started to emit a low growl. "Shh...it's gonna be ok, boy." you said.

 That thought was immediately crushed when you heard him right outside the door. "Tsk...tsk...tsk...Y/N. When are you going to learn not to keep running from me. You know I always find you. Come hell or high water, I'll always find you baby. You're mine, and you aren't going anywhere." he said.

 You felt him jiggle the knob, and you squeezed your eyes shut and braced yourself against the door. "Baby, just come out. I only want to talk." he said. Your silence angered him and he started ramming himself against the door. You tried to hold in your screams, but once you felt the door start to give they escaped. 

You pushed back against the door with everything you had, Rocky growling at your feet. He gave the door one final push and it opened enough for him to get his arm in. "Y/N, all I wanted to do was talk. Why do you have to make everything so difficult. You always have to make me so mad." he said.

 "Danny, please." you begged, preparing yourself for a fight, but before he could push the door open anymore Rocky lunged and attached onto his arm.

 You heard Danny let out a scream and watched his arm begin to flail, Rocky never loosening his grip no matter how much he moved. You pushed back against the door, Danny's arm finally slipping back through and allowing it to close. "You stupid fucking cunt. I'm not done with you." he spat before you heard him turn to leave. 

You stood there completely frozen in place for a few moments. Once you knew he was gone you let your body slide down the bathroom door until you were seated on the floor. You drew your knees to your chest, wrapped your arms around them, and finally let the tears fall. Rocky nudged his nose under your arm, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, Danny's blood that was staining his mouth, smearing against your skin. You held onto that dog for dear life as you sobbed on your bathroom floor.

             Dean was pulled from sleep by the sound of knocking on his front door. He sleepily sat up on the couch, then slowly stood and headed for his front door. He flung it open, his eyes not finding anyone in front of him. He suddenly felt something wrap around his legs and looked down to see Aj holding onto him for dear life. 

He pried her away from his body and crouched down in front of her, "Aj, sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked. 

She still had tears running down her cheeks, "The bad man." she said. 

Dean quickly looked over her. "The bad man came, and he is gonna get momma. You have to save her." she choked out. 

Dean pulled her into the house, and sat her on the couch. He grabbed his bag that he usually took to your house, and pulled out his gun. "Ok, princess. I'm going to need you to stay right here." he said as he quickly slipped on his boots. 

"Don't leave me." she cried.

 "I got to go help your mom." he said as he dialed 911, and quickly relayed all the information and requested back up. "Everything is gonna be ok. I promise." he said before quickly closing the door behind him, and running to your house.

           Dean took in the state of the door and gently pushed it open and stepped inside, with his gun drawn. He noticed the blood drops on the floor, and he felt his heart leap into his throat. What if he was too late?

He continued to ease his way through your living room, keeping his eyes peeled for any movement. He followed the drops of blood to the closed bathroom door, and heard muffled cries coming from inside. "Y/N." he said. "Sweetheart, it's Dean. Let me in."

 You jumped up at the sound of his voice, threw open the door, and flung yourself into his arms. Rocky ran out of the room and immediately started sniffing around.

 Dean pushed you back from him a little and frantically started to search you for injuries. He noticed the blood smeared around your neck and his eyes widened as he searched for the source. "It's not mine." you whispered. "Rocky bit him. It's not mine." you calmly said, slipping into a bit of shock. 

Dean grabbed your shoulders and forced you to look at him, "It's ok. You're ok." he said. 

"Aj! Where's Aj?" you asked. 

"Shh...she's ok. Come on. Let's get you out of here, and you can go see her." Dean said as he led you out of your house.

 Once you were outside you tore away from him, your legs not carrying you fast enough to his house. You flung open the door and rushed inside. "Momma!" Aj screamed. 

You fell to your knees and pulled her into your arms. "It's ok, baby. Everything is ok." you kept repeating as you rocked her back and forth. Dean walked in the door, ushered Rocky inside, and closed it. 

He watched as the little girl broke down in your arms, "Is he gone? Is the bad man gone?" she asked. 

Dean fell to his knees beside you, and pulled the both of you into his arms, "He's gone. You're safe now." he said.

            The cops showed up about ten minutes later, Sam being one of them. Dean told them what he knew, and took Aj from you and held her as you gave them your side of the story. They all assured you that they would do everything they could to find him. You finished giving them your statement, took Aj from Dean, and sat on the couch, clutching her to you while he talked to them. You couldn't focus in on what they were saying, but the sound of the door closing caught your attention.  

You looked up at Dean, tears in your eyes, "Thank you." you whispered. 

"Everything is going to be ok. I promise I won't let him touch you. Either of you." he said. 

"I'm so sorry, Dean. I should have listened to you. If I would have listened this wouldn't have happened." you said.

 "Sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for. Come on. Let's get you guys to bed." he said as he helped you stand.

 You followed him up the stairs, "Can we stay with you?" you asked. 

"Of course." he said as he led you into his bedroom.  

Dean pulled the covers back and you placed Aj down in the middle of his bed and got in beside her, wrapping your arms around her, not seeming to be able to be close enough to her. Dean climbed in on his side and pulled the covers over the three of you. He turned on his side and wrapped his arm over the two of you. Aj stirred at the movement, "Shh...baby. It's ok. It's just Dean. Everything is fine." you said as you gently stroked try side of her face. 

"Sing me a song, momma. That always helps." she said. 

You thought for a moment, your mind blank after everything that had happened when you heard Dean start to sing. "Here comes the sun. Here's comes the sun and I say it's all right."

 He finished the song, despite the fact that Aj had fallen asleep soon after he started. He leaned over her and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, "Get some sleep. I won't let anything happen to you." he said.

 You closed your eyes, and tried your best to fall asleep, but Danny's threat was running through your mind. "Come hell or high water I'll always find you." and you knew he wasn't done with you yet.

[thelastpilot]

Oh, Good Morning. -Adrino One-Shot 3k

Different way, different place, different time. Same story. 

While not inherently connected, the first version (of a different tone) was here

Oh, were you gonna finish that?

‘Hey’

That’s all it would take, but it seemed completely insurmountable for some reason. It was the act of taking a distant stranger and maybe putting a name to his face and his commute and his odd jackets and his seemingly unflappable belief that cold weather was for other people. It would be crossing the street and taking some random guy firmly from the safety of anonymity and making him someone when Adrien had already gone to great lengths to make him someone else, someone too far away to embarrass himself in front of.  

Just some guy at the bus stop, behind a pane of glass, a café patio and two lanes of a street, waiting to go to work. Just like every single day for the past five months.

Yeah see that was another hurdle, how long its been, because now certainly it had been way too long for Adrien to do anything now when he hadn’t done anything before. Wouldn’t it break the routine now? For ‘that guy in the café’ to actually cross the street and say something to him like a person?

Adrien set his cup down a little rougher than he needed to, sighing in an entirely self-produced frustration.

He sat up, stretching his back against the wooden back of his usual chair, made bulky by his thick coat left hanging from it till he felt brave enough to go back out into the cold again (after the bus passed, obviously. He never left beforehand, which frustrated him, again.) His table and chair and coffee weren’t all really his but there was that silent agreement that came from a usual routine that the world kind of respected. Sometimes someone else might be in his seat but for the most part Adrien got to spend a few minutes every morning warming his hands on an okay cup of coffee before he went to work, sitting in the same chair in the corner next to the window facing the street.

He used this place because it had been the closest to his apartment, and because it was warm on the inside and on his way to the metro. And because the prices were fine… and because of a bus stop. Well that last part hadn’t really been a thing at first, not that it was anything really but it was a factor against Adrien trying the new coffee shop that had opened just below his apartment.

He had argued to himself that he liked his usual place, with the warm seats and the familiar smell of over-roasted coffee and the quiet hum of a radio left on in the back. It was a standard place that sometimes kept him fed or at least kept him awake, and the owner already knew his order so it was easier to just stay, probably.

Adrien looked down, pulling at his sweater a little as he moodily glared at his coffee. It was no better or worse than it usually was, but in the moment he kind of resented it for not being outstanding. If it had been a fantastic cup of coffee, the best cup of coffee in the city then he’d have a little bit more of a justification for always sitting right there, right near the window, with his great morning cup of coffee. It would be a reasonable way to start the day, instead of glancing out at the street, waiting for another habitual commuter to make his bus on time.

Adrien looked to his right, peering through the window and watching the foot traffic, annoyed with himself again. He was annoyed because he actually needed to be at work early today, but he wasn’t going as early as he could because he was actively waiting for him, which is what made this stupid. Just some guy he saw every morning. Smiling at and waving to him is one thing, but actually being late because of a guy he’s never even talked to? Pathetic.

…

Still hadn’t left though, he noticed.

 Adrien glanced over the street, watching people in thick dark colored coats and scarves hurry to where they needed to be or cling to warm little shops like his. His café was more populated then usual this morning, some people just standing in the doorway for a minute to check their phones.

It wasn’t bitterly cold, it wasn’t snowing or anything, but the chill was still enough to make his okay cup of coffee a little more appealing. The streets were light and anyone around had a destination in mind, it was not the kind of morning for milling around.

It was a morning for commuters.

Adrien stopped, his eyes catching on someone as they turned the corner. He was looking down, but Adrien recognized the familiar backpack and leisurely walk right away, and he nearly smiled before he noticed the hoodie.

It was cold, but here he was again in a thin, dark grey hoodie like he always wore. It was one of his more usual items regardless of the weather, but he never adjusted. He didn’t even have a scarf, the only mark that maybe the cold was getting to him was that he had swapped his hat for a beanie, but Adrien was frowning anyways as the man made his way to the bus stop.

 Adrien’s morning, nameless companion found his seat at around the same time he always did, every morning. He would show up at the stop about 10-15 minutes early, lounging on the bench by himself most of the time since the street itself was pretty small and they were far off from the center of the city, and then wait patiently for his bus to arrive so he could go, presumably to work. This was an assumption, as was everything else about him, seeing as Adrien had never actually spoken to the man. The only connection they ever had, was at about this time every morning,

Where he glanced up and across the street.

 Adrien froze, a little caught out to have already been looking at him, like he had been waiting. But it was too late to glance away now, to play with his phone or drink his coffee to pretend he had otherwise been occupied. The man had already seen him.

The stranger smiled, his white teeth a stark contrast against his dark skin as he adjusted in his seat, moving his backpack to sit beside him as he usually did though he did not break eye contact. His dark rimmed glasses were low on his nose, and he pushed them up to maybe see him a little more clearly though there was a distance between them. Details were always lost, but Adrien could see that his hair was sort of a mess this morning, and he was entertained by the thought that maybe the switch to a deep red beanie was actually because his hair looked ridiculous, not because he was actually cold or anything.

He was a broad shouldered, tall man (fit too, as Adrien had learned when the weather was still warm), his outfits always changing but staying within the same range of simple t-shirts, jeans and ill-equipped jackets. He also always had his headphones on him, sometimes around his neck or sometimes already being listened to, playing some music genre that Adrien had to guess at, with no real clues or indications.

He always wondered anyways though, even if he could never know for sure if he was right or not.

Adrien lifted a hand to give him a small wave, smiling too as they greeted each other. The bus stop guy gave him a wave as well, settling in to wait now.

Adrien knew he only had a few more seconds to drag it out if he wanted to, knowing that once he glanced away they would return to their own spaces. So before he could, Adrien gestured down, raising an eyebrow (a small enough expression that he wasn’t sure if it would read across the street) and then he reached behind him, drawing the mans attention to Adrien’s own warm jacket.

It was small and quick as Adrien kept smiling, but it was easy to ask without words ‘What are you wearing? Aren’t you cold?’

The man paused, looking surprised before glancing down, one hand pulling at the pocket of his hoodie before he looked up, shrugging, both hands up as if to say, ‘I don’t know, its fine.’

Adrien just shook his head, taking a sip of his okay coffee and was happy to see the man laugh. He couldn’t help but smile into his cup as he watched him.

He was surprised to see that the man kept watching him too for a moment, still looking his way as he took an extended drink. A few cars passed between them, the street cold and distant and filled with other people they might have seen every day. Maybe all these dark jackets and blank faces were also daily commuters, ducking into cafes and businesses and making this street as much their space as anyone else’s, but neither of them knew for sure.

They’d never paid attention to the others before.

Adrien only realized he was stuck in the moment when the man finally glanced away, looking down at his phone. It occurred to him that he should probably look away as well, turning towards the interior of the café without really seeing it, frustration steeping again as he realized his daily ‘conversation’ was now over.

That’s what he waited for? A smile and a wave hello, a point of contact shallower than small talk. But he would rather he had it then gone early; he knew that.

He fought the urge to sink into his chair, knowing the man could still see him if he looked up (which he did sometimes), but he couldn’t help but lean over his cup a little, staring down at it. He tried to talk himself out of harassing himself, and he also tried to talk himself out of getting so attached to a familiar stranger, but neither ever got him to move.

He was frustrated by a handful of things about all this

He was annoyed by the fact that this was about the best he ever seemed to do when it came to meeting people these days. A non-negative association at a great distance with very little risk, how exciting. He used to be more social, so he thought, a little better at making friends and putting himself out there. But after a few scattered heartbreaks and a handful of missteps he found himself staring at a dark, slowly cooling cup of coffee wondering at how bad he was at this. He liked to think he was bold enough to cross the street, to finally put a name to a handsome face and maybe say something charming.

Maybe buy him a cup of coffee, maybe ask what he did for a living.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. But no, never. Least, not for about five months in a row now.

He grit his teeth, looking in at the café counter, looking in towards the tables and the decorations and the few dirty plates people had left behind. He looked in, and away, and then out the window, his expression still heavy as he hardly made it a minute without looking.

And he froze again, the man already watching him.

Adrien stiffened, noticing immediately that the man wasn’t smiling. A car passed between them, but neither of them took the opportunity to look elsewhere, and Adrien was stunned to see the man make a gesture of his own.

He pointed forward, right at Adrien across the street and across the patio and through the pane of glass, still looking at him with an expression too subtle to see from this far. And then he touched his index finger and his thumb together in a circle, the other fingers fanning out above it, the message clear and simple.

‘You okay?’

Adrien was frozen stock still as he took in the question, and the concern that came along with it. He must have been obvious, his spiraling thoughts displayed in his posture somehow… and the man noticed. He must have been staring the entire time, not having lost the silent conversation Adrien had been mourning, holding on to it still and waiting for him to look up again.

To make eye contact so he could ask.

Adrien felt his face heat up as he gripped his coffee cup tighter, embarrassed suddenly and unsure of himself but not looking away, the man tilting his head just slightly, waiting for an answer of some kind. But it wasn’t something he could or even would try and pantomime in these weird distant talks they had, to explain what even? It was nothing, but the familiar stranger still asked, and still stared, even as another car darted between them and blocked their eyeline.

He had to admit it was sort of exciting, which was exponentially more pathetic and insane. Being even remotely delighted that the man reached out again just made this dumb exercise even worse, but he accepted that he was just too invested to ignore him.

So after a long, silent moment, as all their moments were, he shrugged. Exaggerated enough for the man to see, but his annoyance with himself forced his eyes down, and the moment ended.

He didn’t look up again, sighing so heavily that it sent a ripple across the surface of his coffee.

Maybe he was being hard on himself, but the fact that a handsome stranger’s concern was the closest thing to an intimate moment he had had in two years was a little discouraging. And it was just the kind of cold, lonely morning for that sort of thing. Overanalyzing everything over an okay cup of coffee.

He closed his eyes and sighed again, running a hand through his hair as he let the chilly morning finally claim his mood. His early start at work slipped steadily away and he committed to loitering, though he wondered if the man was staring still. Over the next three or so minutes he resisted the urge to peek, feeling a little too much like a loser to allow his little morning routine, but his resolve wavered at about the fourth minute. By then he had reasoned with himself that oh well, you’re already lame, just look. The difference a minute could make.

When he glanced up his heart sank a little, confusion filling the empty space on the bench. Adrien sat up a little and scanned the street, the man’s seat unexpectedly vacant despite the fact that…

Surely the bus hadn’t come. He always heard it, the bus wasn’t exactly quiet, especially not on such a little street. Honestly it was a miracle it even came down this way, holding up everything whenever it did, but of course he was grateful that it was there. It was never a very crowded bus and obviously not a very popular line, but that’s where the stranger sat. So he liked that it was there.

His moping couldn’t have drowned that out, but still the man was gone.

He stared at the spot unabashedly now, looking around for him and wondering where he went. To work, maybe, as he should do. But didn’t.

The cafe door opening sent an uncomfortable rush of cold air into the space, all of its higher-than-average volume of patrons leaning away from it moodily, not that Adrien looked. He had settled the weight of his head on one hand, staring out vacantly towards an old, empty bus stop. He lifted his cup and took a long drink, resolving to leave once it was finished, when quite suddenly, out of nowhere, there was a tap on his shoulder.

Adrien jumped a little, not expecting someone from the outside world to come breaking into his, cup still half raised to his lips as he turned. The first thing he saw was a hoodie, having not nailed the eyeline on the first glance. He still wasn’t quite up to the persons face by the time they started apologizing, their voice deep and a little nervous sounding as they laughed through their “Sorry! Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

Adrien was staring at his face as the tall stranger continued to ramble, as if the momentum of his sentence gave him no place to stop and the words would bunch up and fall apart if he hesitated. The stranger mussed with his hair as he did, displacing his deep red beanie. It was old, Adrien noticed. With a snag near the edge.

He wondered when that might have happened. Or had it always been there, and he had been too far away to notice.

“I know that maybe this is a little weird,” the man was saying, the unexpected bass tone to his voice rattling pieces of Adrien’s mental image and sorting others into place. “Maybe I’m breaking some like cardinal rule like, you’re never really supposed to engage you’re just supposed to exist like, parallel to each other forever and you never say much. Or anything. But I don’t know maybe I’m not maybe there is no rule and I just made that up cause I overthink a lot. And I know it’s sort of simple and I know I’m gonna like, miss my bus, but you seemed kind of down and um…,” the stranger paused,

and Adrien noticed for the first time that his eyes… were nearly gold.

He laughed, just a little, and like nearly an afterthought, like introducing himself seemed unnecessarily to someone he really didn’t know but had just become so familiar, he gave an awkward little smile.

“Well uh, hey.”

   And just a little out of breath, just a little.

He said, “Hey.”

 It’s you.

[bagels-and-seagulls]

how easy you are to need

based off of these headcannons 

check it out on A03 (1.9k)

Matteo stared at the lock to his apartment. His limbs felt like anchors keeping him stuck in this reality that he had been trying to drift away from ever since he left the deli. He didn’t have the energy to lift his arms in order to open his door as he tried to visualize himself turning his key in the lock. His legs felt like weights just waiting to drag him underneath a river that would let him finally sleep like he so badly wanted to right now. Even if he did find the burst of enthusiasm he needed to push his door open right now, the only way he would get through to the other side is by falling forward onto his face.

He heard Hans laughing on the other side of the door, and he steeled his nerves and his tensed his muscles to sludge his way into the apartment. Matteo dropped his bag heavily on the other side of the door, and debated taking his shoes off before deciding that bending over to try and untie them sounded like the worst thing he could do right now. He was certain that the second he got that close to the ground, he would just lie down until morning when he would have to go back out again.

There was some more talking in the kitchen before he could finally make out, “Oh, butterfly! Come say hi!” Matteo sighed. He really wasn’t feeling up to trying to socialize at the moment. The deli put him on front register because the usual guy went home sick during breakfast. Something about food poisoning, he had said. Matteo was apparently the only one that they had to cover, even though he was scheduled to be on dish washing duty all afternoon. An entire day of fake cheery smiles and high pitched greetings as he tried to listen carefully to everyone’s orders, and requests, and small talk dulled his senses until it was impossible to be able to make it through another customer’s sandwich order without having to ask them to repeat themselves. Eventually his eyes crossed looking at the cash register, and his boss had told him to go home an hour early with a promise to be on sandwich duty tomorrow.

But he knew that if he didn’t go at least show his face in the kitchen to Hans, then Hans would be forcing his way into his room in about twenty minutes when Matteo was just on the other side of slumber. And then he probably wouldn’t be able to sleep the rest of the night. So he forced his feet to shuffle his way into the other room in order to wave quickly before murmuring about going to bed.

“Butterfly, you’re home! Look whose back!”

Matteo stopped dead in his tracks at the other side of the door and stared at the scene in front of him. Hans was in front of the stove pushing something around with one hand and excitedly waving his other hand in front of him as he animatedly told a story to his humble audience. Linn was sitting at the kitchen table with her hands curled around her favorite pink mug. And David- David was laughing brightly as he leaned against the counter.

Matteo didn’t so much as feel his heartrate pick up as hear it in his ears as the world around him seemed to fade out and put a spotlight right onto David. He was wearing a white shirt that hung loosely off his shoulder and black jeans that were tight and ripped at the knees. Matteo didn’t think he’s ever seen that outfit before. He must have gotten it when he was in LA, he thought oddly to himself. David’s laughter faltered out, but he was still smiling brightly as he uncrossed his arms and gripped the counter behind him. He looked good, Matteo thought. He always looked good, but right now he looked real. He looked like he was right in front of him instead of half a world away like he’s looked for the last four months in Matteo’s computer screen.

“You know what? I just remembered I had that thing that I had to do…” Hans said as he was quickly looking between Matteo’s statue impersonation and David vibrating lowly under his skin as he white knuckled the counter to keep himself where he was. He turned off the stove and pushed the pot off the heat. “Linn, why don’t you come help me. With the thing.”

“Oh, right!” She quickly agreed before setting her mug down, and both of them made a quiet but hasty exit.

Matteo stood just on the other side of the door. He was quickly looking over David’s figure, soaking in the details of the man in front of him desperately trying to memorize all the things he has loved about him for so long and all the new things he could pick up on just in case this was all a dream. Just in case he really did fall asleep just on the other side of the front door and his mind was conjuring up something syrupy sweet for him to think about while he was pressed into the hardwood near his shoe rack. He looked the same mostly. In a way, it looked like David walked right out of the airport Matteo dropped him off at all that time ago and then walked right into the kitchen, but he also looked different- better, like he grew into his shoulders a little bit more, like he wasn’t afraid of how big his smiles have always been. Matteo liked it, but he didn’t want to take the chance that he would reach out and his hand would go right through the space in front of him.

David was trying very hard to keep his excitement of being home, of seeing his home, tightly under the cap. He wanted to make sure that he didn’t overwhelm his boy more than he probably already was. David knew that coming back two weeks early would be a surprise- that maybe it was even a wrong move, but Matteo looked so sweet with the pink flush over his cheeks and down his neck. All David could picture was this moment right here- this moment where Matteo was looking at him with such surprise and adoration that David couldn’t wait any longer to get back to Berlin with the hopes of just hearing Matteo say something to him without the static of the phone in between them. He feels like he counts up to a thousand in his head before he eventually says softly, “Baby, you’re killing me here.”

He wonders if he said anything at all because Matteo is still standing there in the doorway with a dazed out look of awe just watching everything he was doing on the other side of the room. It wasn’t that far, but right now it felt like there was an entire ocean in the middle of the kitchen’s floor, keeping them apart from each other. David grips the counter harder, achingly keeping himself where he is even though his hands are burning with the need to reach out and touch the love of his life, who is still just standing there.

Matteo shuffles forward slightly, and David tilts his head, biting his lip hard to keep his face from splitting in two. Matteo closes the distance but stops when he’s half a step away. “David,” Matteo mutters, thinking that if he spoke too loudly he would break the spell that made David appear home. He reaches out slowly, and he watches as his fingers brush over David’s t-shirt over his sternum.

“David,” Matteo repeats in that same quiet voice, which is all the warning David gets before Matteo crashes into him. Matteo throws one arm around David’s shoulder and the other comes to wring itself tightly into the back of his t-shirt. He pulls him away from counter, and David pulls Matteo back at the waist before Matteo tips them backwards and makes them tumble onto the floor.

“Teo,” David sighed as he noses against Matteo’s temple and cards his fingers through his hair. He trails his other hand up and down Matteo’s back, just breathing him in and enjoying this quiet moment.

They stand there for what feels like a whole lifetime and a split second all at once, and David would be happy to let Matteo cling onto him for as long as he wants, all night if that’s what Matteo wanted. He would unzip his skin right down the middle of his chest and let Matteo crawl his way inside his ribs, nestled between his lungs, if only he’d ask. He would carry around the boy with him everywhere he went, so they would never have to be apart this long ever again. So they would never have to spend a second away from each other. Matteo already carries his heart around with him wherever he goes anyways, David thinks; he would be happy for the extra weight.

David felt the hand on his back start to tremble after a while, and it was only then that he felt the tears on his shoulder. “Hey, beautiful,” David whispered into Matteo’s skin. He tipped Matteo’s face up, so he could wipe away the tears streaking down his face. He looked so pretty like this, so sweet with the blush reddening his ears and the distant sparkle in his eyes. “Do I get a kiss?”

In all the movies that David watches, the reunion kiss always felt like an awakening, like a hurricane of pent up emotion finally crashing against the shores, like everything had been off balance until it was suddenly and chaotically thrown back on its right orbit again when the two lovers finally forced their way back to each other. This didn’t feel like that. David could hardly keep his face under control with how much he was fighting his smile, so when their lips finally brushed against each other, it didn’t feel like things were opening up and rushing out. It felt more like a hello, like a scene when two strangers finally locked eyes across an empty diner and knew it was the beginning of something great.

The second time, when David pulled Matteo even closer by his waist, it was a how have you been when two old friends run into each other at a grocery store in the middle of nowhere, thinking they were both the last people in the whole town.

The third time- the third kiss when Matteo’s slow, sleepy demeanor finally perks up, gripping at David’s shirt tightly between his fingers, and his entire body starts vibrating with the feeling of DavidDavidDavid- that time feels like I missed you. It feels like when the plane finally touches down, when the road finally ends up looking somewhat familiar, when the storm finally stops and you can finally see the beautiful view outside your front window with a new appreciation.

“I missed you,” Matteo pants into David’s cheek. He drops his head back onto David’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around David’s middle. His fingers slipped underneath the hem of David’s shirt, and he had to blink away another round of tears building up behind the back of his eyelids.

“I missed you too, Matteo. I missed you so much, sweetheart.”

[illicitdeeds]

17-Year-Old Killed By Her Step Father

Vernetta Cockerham on November 19, 2002, feeling at peace for the first time since she could remember. After months of living in terror of her estranged husband's violence, knowing he would kill her if he could, she'd gone to sleep the night before relieved beyond words by the thought of his finally being arrested. Today she could fully focus on her children. Her oldest, Candice, had an appointment with an army recruiter. Cockerham was so proud of her daughter, the way she made friends easily even though she was one of the few African-American students in her rural North Carolina high school. And now, at 17, Candice wanted to serve her country.

Cockerham loaded her three kids into the Explorer and dropped off 6-year-old Rashieq at school, just down the street from where they lived. Their home, an old yellow farmhouse, had belonged to her grandmother and stood right in the center of Jonesville, within plain view of the town hall and the police station.

She drove the baby, Dominiq, almost 9 months old, to daycare, then left Candice at the library to copy a few documents for her interview. Cockerham had one more stop that morning. She needed to call the department of social services because someone—and she was sure it was her husband—had filed an anonymous child-neglect complaint against her. That man would stop at nothing. But at least now that he was in jail, he wouldn't be showing up everywhere she went to slam her around and threaten her, or digging holes near the house and telling her they would be the family's graves. She made the call from a friend's place and went back to the library. But Candice had already headed home.

As Cockerham pulled up to the house, she noticed the front door—it wasn't like her daughter to leave it ajar that way, especially with all that had been going on.

And then in a horrifying instant she saw them: her husband's keys, dangling in the lock.

She was barely through the door when he lunged at her with a knife.

"I killed her," she heard him say as if in slow motion. "And I'm going to kill you."

She reached for the knife, grabbing it by the blade.

There was no pain. Only terror.

"Candice!" she screamed. "Candice!"

He lunged again and Cockerham took cover behind a heavy three-tiered plant stand. It toppled, the glass shelves crashing and knocking the knife from her husband's hand. She felt a shard of glass slice into her head and the warmth of her blood dripping down her back. Just before she blacked out, she felt his hands around her throat.

When Cockerham came to, she thought she heard Candice's voice calling for her, as if rousing her from a deep sleep.

"Ma, get up. Get up."

But she didn't see her daughter anywhere. The front door was closed now, and as Cockerham struggled with the dead bolt, she caught sight of her fingers—cut so badly, bone showed through the flesh. The lock gave and Cockerham ran, stumbling in the morning chill, across the street and through the vacant lot facing her house to the police station. There she collapsed in the doorway, her throat slashed and bleeding heavily. Drifting in and out of consciousness, she pleaded for someone to help her daughter. Chief Robbie Coe held a towel to her neck, trying to stanch the bleeding. "I know who did it, but you need to tell me who did it," he told her. But Cockerham had only one thing on her mind: Where are my kids?

Coe sent two officers, Scotty Vestal and Tim Lee Gwyn, to the house, where they waited for backup. Another officer found Candice's body in the downstairs bedroom. Heavy duct tape covered her mouth and nose. She'd been beaten and suffocated; an electrical cord was tied around her neck and reinforced with a layer of tape. Her hands and feet had been bound. And her jeans were pulled down around her knees, leaving her half naked.

The police had not arrested Cockerham's husband, Richard Ellerbee. And despite everything she'd done to protect herself and her family from a crime like this, the unbearable tragedy had happened anyway. "It was absolute torture what he did," she says.

Like every state, North Carolina has stringent laws to protect women and their children from domestic violence. The process often begins with a woman filing for an emergency protective order, which can be obtained without a lawyer from a local court (it requires filling out paperwork and is usually issued by a judge on the strength of the complaint). Protective orders (also called restraining orders) vary from state to state but typically forbid an abusive partner to come within a certain distance of the victim and may make other restrictions, like prohibiting phone calls or e-mail. In North Carolina, the emergency order remains in effect until a hearing takes place (usually within ten days), at which time both sides are allowed to present evidence. The judge then decides whether to grant a final order, which lasts up to a year.

If police find probable cause that an order has been violated—even something as simple as driving past the victim's house—most states have laws that call for an arrest. However, a study published in 2000 in Criminal Justice and Behavior, based on Massachusetts records and studies in other states, suggests that as many as 60 to 80 percent of restraining orders are not enforced. Furthermore, a 2000 U.S. Department of Justice study found that officers made arrests in only 47 percent of cases in which the victim reported being raped—even fewer when the complaint was assault (36 percent) or stalking (29 percent). In California a 2005 report by the state attorney general's office found widespread hesitation among police and prosecutors to enforce restraining orders—with dangerous consequences. "For the victim," the report concluded, "there is a loss of faith in the system and reluctance to report new violations, even as these violations grow in seriousness. For the batterer, there is a sense of empowerment to commit new violations and more violent crimes." When the rules call for mandatory arrest, says Kristian Miccio, an associate professor of criminal law and procedure at the University of Denver's Sturm College of Law, "and they don't enforce it, you have the illusion of protection, which is worse than not having it at all."

Vernetta Cockerham is living that painful truth. When she took out a protective order against her husband in October 2002, she believed fully in the power of the law to keep her safe. And repeatedly she reported Ellerbee's violations to the police. But even when they arrested him, he was released on bond. "I go over it every day," she says, "and every day I say to myself, You did everything you were supposed to do by law."

Now she's trying to change the system. On November 18, 2004, almost exactly two years after Candice's murder and her own near death, Cockerham sued the town of Jonesville and its police department for failing to enforce the restraining order that was in place to protect them. It's been an exhausting five-year legal battle, and the case has not yet gone to trial*, leaving some of the facts in dispute—including the promise she says the police made to arrest her husband the night before the bloodshed. Cockerham's resolve is steely, but when she describes the crowd of teenagers who lined the street for Candice's funeral, she still breaks down and weeps.

[dylanobemineforever]

Saving Her - Peter Parker

Story Masterlist

Chapter One: What Happened in the Past

Author's Note: I feel like this is really different from anything I've written so far and I'm actually proud of how this whole thing is turning out (and this is never the case) so I hope you guys enjoy it and I'd love to get some honest feedback!

Warnings: This is a story meant for a mature audience, so be aware of swearing and other stuff (that I can't reveal yet, because spoilers)

Word Count: 3.3 k 

Peter watched her from afar. Her head was buried in her book. She had headphones in, trying to avoid as much social interaction as she possibly could. The food before her untouched and the bags underneath her eyes painfully noticeable, even from this distance. Everything he wanted to do was get up and talk to her. Apologize for the hundredth time in a row and admit to being the shittiest friend in the universe. Again. He wanted to jump on one of the tables in the cafeteria and scream on the top of his lungs: “Listen everyone! I’m Spider-Man!”, just so he could finally explain why things have been the way they’ve been. But, of course, he knew he couldn’t do that. Wouldn’t do that.

It’s been so hard watching her, seeing how she fell apart a little more every day. And there was nothing he could do or say to fix it. And how bad he wanted to fix this. Never before has he felt so helpless. He was out there every day, fighting criminals and bad guys. He was there on the battlefield and fought Thanos for Christ’s sake! He has been to space, has been erased from existence altogether and still… never has he felt so useless, empty and hopeless. How could he ever make up for what he did to her? How would she ever be able to forgive him? 

 “Where’s Peter?” Was her first reaction upon opening her apartment door. Ned, Peter’s and her friend since the beginning of middle school, waited in the hallway, alone, clad in a black shirt and jeans, head hanging low as he looked down to his feet and mumbled something, not being able to look into her red and puffy eyes. “Where’s Peter, Ned?” Her voice cracked. Ned felt his heart stop for a second, before it picked up its pace again. Finally, he looked up and instantly he wished he hadn’t. Her eyes were red and nearly swollen shut, new tears already forming in her eyes as the realization hit her that the person she needed the most that day wouldn’t be there for her. Today out of all days. She wore a black dress that normally would’ve looked really good on her, but right now, everything Ned could see was how thin she’s gotten and he briefly wondered when she last ate something. Oh, how he hated this. Seeing her like that, not being able to do anything to take any of the pain away and then on top of that he had to be the bearer of bad news. Oh, how he hated this.

“He… Peter, uh, he… “ Ned stammered, the words stuck in his throat. “He… he won’t make it. I’m sorry, Devon.”

She looked at him in disbelief, waiting for him to tell her that he was joking, although this really wasn’t the time to make jokes. Forcefully, she shook her head, unwilling to believe a word her friend had said. “What – what do you mean ‘he won’t make it’?” A bitter laugh escaped her mouth, as she continued to shake her head. “What on earth could he be doing that is more important than being here right now?” Her voice started shaking again, her lower lip trembling and it cost her all her strength to not fall down to her knees and sob like the mess she felt she was. “I – I told him… I told him I couldn’t do this…” More tears were rolling down her cheeks. “Not without him.”

Ned gulped. He’d never understand why Peter was so adamant to keep her in the dark. Granted, he didn’t tell Ned either and probably wouldn’t have if he hadn’t caught him sneaking into his room and crawling along the fucking ceiling! Peter didn’t want anyone else to know though and although Ned might not really get why, he respected his best friend too much to disregard his wishes. “I’m really sorry, Devon.”

“So, what is it then, Ned? What is he doing?” Suddenly, her voice didn’t sound as fragile anymore. It was still shaking, but it had a different ring to it than before. She was pissed.

“I- I don’t know… Uh, he… he just told me, he wasn’t feeling so well… A stomach bug or something.” Ned winced, this had to be the dumbest excuse. He wished he would’ve put more thought into it beforehand. The truth was, right after Ned and Peter closed the door behind them, on their way to her place, he got his weird Peter tingle or whatever it was – Ned didn’t really get it – and despite his first attempts of ignoring it he couldn’t anymore as he saw that not far from his apartment a building stood in flames, people screaming and crying. There was no way, he could ignore that. He had to help.

She laughed again which made Ned’s skin crawl. He’s never seen her like this. “A stomach bug?” She asked, fake amusement in her voice. “And that would make… I don’t know… twenty this month alone? Either something is seriously wrong with him and he should go and see a professional immediately or, and this is the more plausible explanation to me, you two are full of shit!” She got hold of the door behind her, took a step back and was ready to slam it shut, but Ned was quicker. Firmly, he planted his foot in the doorway, so she wouldn’t be able to close it.

“Listen, Devon, I’m sorry, I really am, but don’t shut me or Peter out like this… not now.” Of course he could understand her anger. He wouldn’t know how he’d react if he was in her position.

“No Ned, you listen! I don’t know what it is that Peter is involved in or why you always cover for him, but I sure as hell know that this isn’t how friends treat each other! You can tell Peter that I don’t wanna see him, hear from him or ever talk to him again, understood?! Same goes for you and now leave me alone!”

Ned was taken aback by her words. A wave of hurt crashing down on him as he slightly stumbled backwards and therefore gave her the opportunity to shut the door – forcefully. The echo ringing in his ears for a little while, as he stood there in the hallway, dumbfounded and completely lost. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t leave her alone. Not at a time like this. On the other hand, though, she’s already been through too much for him to not respect her wish to be alone right now. He really didn’t know what to do. After a little back and forth he called Peter, but he didn’t pick up. With a heavy heart he walked down the hall and left the apartment complex.

 Peter contemplated his options again. Should he just go over? What would she do? Painfully, he was taken aback to one of the worst days of his life.

 Right when Peter finally made it, it was her turn to go up on the small podium. He breathed out a sigh of relief, glad that he hadn’t missed it. She had told him over and over again that she wouldn’t be able to do this if he wasn’t there. He helped her with her speech and they practiced under tears. Blissfully unaware of what had happened only a few hours ago, he searched the mass of people with his eyes in the hopes to find Ned. He didn’t, though. He wondered where his best friend could be right now, but as soon as the microphone beeped and someone cleared their throat, his attention was shifted in her direction again. Her eyes scanned the mass of grieving people carefully, throat feeling drier than ever before. Her tongue like sandpaper in her mouth. She opened her mouth, ready to get this over with as she saw… him – Peter. Suddenly, every thought vanished and she felt like she was about to throw up. The eyes of the other people looked at her expectantly and she knew that she had to give them something, although, everything she wanted to do right now was run away. Far, far away and never come back.

She cleared her throat again. “So, uh, I – I prepared a speech, but, uh…” Her eyes filled with tears yet again. Oh, how she hated having to cry all the time! “But, standing up here now… I don’t know… It feels like there aren’t really any fitting words to say, no matter how much thought I put into them before.” She let her eyes wander over the crowd, but careful to avoid Peter at all costs. She gulped before she continued: “When my father first got his diagnosis neither one of us really knew what to do or say. You never expect it to hit you or someone close to you. It’s like… We know that thousands of car crashes happen every day, but never can we imagine that one day, we’ll sit in one of those cars. Oftentimes, we forget how precious life truly is and now that he’s gone…” New tears were rolling down her cheek, but she quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand. “And now that he’s gone, I realize that there is so much that I wish I would’ve said to him. And that he won’t be here for so many more milestones in my life. He used to always be the first person I would call or talk to when something important happened and now… thinking that he won’t be here to see me graduate, go to college or walk me down the aisle one day… it just… it feels so surreal, like, I’m underwater and the minute I get back up to the surface again he’ll be there and make all my worries disappear. But, of course, I now this won’t happen.” A sigh fell from her lips and it took her a while to gather her thoughts and the strength to continue. “I really don’t know what to say… Nothing I could say or do right now would do him and the love I had for him justice. So, all there really is left to say is…” Another deep breath in the hopes of getting her quivering voice under control. It didn’t really help. “I love you, dad. I really do hope that you’re in a better place now, that one day, we might meet again and I can tell you great stories about the things that you’ve missed. You really were the best dad anyone could’ve ever wished for. Thank you for always being there for me.”

Peter waited for her after the ceremony. She was talking to her mother and occasionally looked over to him. To him it felt like she was contemplating whether she should go to him or not. After a little back and forth, though, she said goodbye to her mother and walked towards him.

“Hey, I –“

She interrupted him. “Peter, what are you doing here?” Her tone wasn’t angry or unfriendly. To him it sounded like she was tired, exhausted. Looking at her face, how her eyes were ridden with red veins, he guessed that she didn’t have a good night’s sleep in weeks.

Peter frowned. “What do you mean ‘what are you doing here’? Of course I’m here.”

“You were late…”

“I – uh-“

She interrupted him again. “Ned said that you wouldn’t make it…”

Again, Peter stammered. Unsure of what to say, he tried to shift the attention away from himself. “Speaking of Ned… Where is he?”

“I sent him home earlier.” She shrugged and suddenly it felt like the energy around them had shifted. Peter couldn’t really pinpoint what it was or what had changed, but he felt that something was off. Very, very off.

“Why – why would you send him home?”

She answered his question with another. “Where were you, Peter?” Having cried for the last few weeks with seemingly no end in sight, she at least tried to suppress them this time. She turned her head to look up the cloudy sky as she tried to compose herself. “And please, for the sake of god, please, don’t lie to me!”

Should he tell her the truth? Right now? No, this wasn’t right. This wasn’t how he wanted for her to find out. Although, he hadn’t told Ned anything about it yet, but Peter had been planning on telling her all about his secret second life and identity. He was working on a detailed plan, so that she’d be able to digest it better. In all honesty, he had a hard time figuring out how she would react which made configuring the plan a little harder… ergo the reason why he hadn’t done it yet. All this time, he had been too afraid to tell her, because he didn’t want to lose her as a friend. Although, deep down he knew that this was stupid, because why couldn’t they be friends after this, right? Still, he chickened out time and time again. Maybe also because there was something else that he wanted to get off his chest for a very long time now, but hadn’t gotten a chance to say it aloud. Well, technically, he’s said it aloud a million times, practicing in his room, in front of the mirror and one time May actually caught him and the next thing he knew they were both having ice cream while he was spilling his heart out about the girl that he liked since seemingly forever. He was eleven back then and they both had known each other for not even a year, but to him it felt like he already knew that she was the one he was supposed to be with. Well, since then, a lot had changed. Not only the fact that he had become a superhero, but also every single thing that has led up to this exact moment. And this moment right there, was not the time for him to come forward. She had just lost her dad. She was grieving and it wouldn’t be fair to her if he’d burden her with even more on top of that. So, no, he couldn’t tell her the truth… “I was… I was, uh… There, there was this thing that I needed to take care of, but I came as fast as I could, Dev.”

She mulled his response over in her head for a few minutes, not really knowing what to do or say next. This was hard. But she also knew that she couldn’t take this any longer. Today, out of all days, was the one time that she so desperately needed him like she never needed him before. There was a hole that was burning its way through her world, sucking everything in and leaving her cold and alone. Somehow, only Peter had been able to fill that void ever since her father died. He made her feel warm and protected, made her see the sun even though it hid behind a thick layer of clouds. He was the only thing that she needed today and although he did show up – the very last second – she felt like he had abandoned her during a time of need. And somehow she wasn’t sure if she could forgive him for that. Not only that, but the constant lying and scheming behind her back… She just couldn’t take it any longer. “So, there was a thing…”

“Yes, I’m really sorry!”

“Weird, because Ned told me you had a stomach bug…” Peter opened his mouth to say something, but she held her finger up in the air, signaling that she wasn’t done yet. “I’m so sick of this, Peter! I’m sick of the lying. I’m sick of you never showing up! I’m sick of it! And as I already told Ned, for the time being I think it’s best if we all just go our separate ways.”

“What… I – Devon, please let me explain…”

“No, Peter. You had your chance and I don’t wanna hear any more excuses! This is it! I’ve had enough and I don’t wanna see you, I don’t want to talk to you and I sure as hell don’t want any more stories! So, please, I’m begging you, just leave me the hell alone!” Her lip started to tremble. Peter wanted to reach out, grab her arm as she turned around and walked away, but he didn’t. Instead he just watched her disappear in the distance as his heart started to feel heavier with every other step she took. And then it started to pour.

 “Peter, it’s getting creepy.” Ned nudged his friend. Peter jolted upright in his seat, taken back to reality.

“Do you think I should go talk to her?”

Ned sighed. He hated this. For the last three weeks he had to watch his best friend being heartbroken over the girl he loved since forever and his other best friend suffering alone. He had tried to talk to her after Peter’s miserable attempts of making up for what he did, but she didn’t even want to talk to him. He was worried, deeply worried, but on the other hand he didn’t want Peter to cause a scene in front of the whole school. “Maybe some other time. I don’t think she would appreciate you doing that right now.”

Sadly, Peter nodded. “Do you know how she’s doing though? Is she making new friends? How is she?”

Ned knew something, but he hadn’t told Peter anything about it yet. He wouldn’t like it.

“I know that look, Ned… What is it! Spit it out!”

After Ned debated whether to tell Peter what he knew, someone approached her and immediately Peter’s head snapped in her direction. The words Ned wanted to say, left in his throat as he saw who it was. Nate Gibson. Peter’s brows furrowed as he watched him sit down next to her. Right away she pulled her headphones out and a shy smile crept onto her face.

“Did you know about this?”

Ned shrugged. “I just wanted to tell you.”

“Well, you should’ve told me sooner!” Peter’s voice was a little higher than usual. He was on edge. “You know who this guy is!”

“Yeah, and trust me I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn’t listen! What am I supposed to do? Beat some sense into her?”

Peter rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but think ‘if that’s what it takes’… because, you see, Nate… well, Nate was the type of guy no one would want their daughter – or son – hanging around with. He was popular, sure, but aside from his rep as the guy who threw a party every other weekend, he was also the guy known to be involved in… there really was no easier way to say this… drugs. And if Devon – who, by the way, used to despise the guy – was all of a sudden this close to him, Peter couldn’t help but think that maybe she’s caught herself up in something that she would’ve better left untouched.

“You know what this means, Ned!” Peter was ready to bolt out of his seat and give this son of a bitch a piece of his mind. Ned held him down, though. And although it would’ve been more than easy for Peter to fight himself out of his friend’s grip, he didn’t.

“We don’t know anything yet.” Ned tried to calm his best friend down. “I’ve been talking to a few people, asking if they know anything… no one did. So, you can’t run over there and make wild accusations. Imagine how this would make her feel, if it isn’t true! We have to be one hundred percent sure if we wanna do something about it. Got it?”

Peter hated to admit it, but Ned was right. If he went over to her with nothing more but a hunch, she’d probably hate him for the rest of her life. No, they had to be smart about it. But how the hell were they supposed to do that? 

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Tags: @crazyfreaker @underoosparkerrr