#jesuswasgay

[jesuswasgay]

i talk a lot of crazy shit but at the end of the day my biggest turn on is my partner feeling comfortable & safe & loved.

[kylb3rt]

jusus

[vampireduckie]

Pro-Tip

Preface "Amen" with a g, and literally ever situation gets better/funnier

[dontletthishappentoyou]

11 Reasons Jesus was Probably Gay. #6 Will FUCK YOU UP!?

After having watched Bill Wurtz’s post-history of the world videos, SNL’s Papyrus, and the entirety of 07/27/1978, I feel inspired to find patterns. The motivation to appreciate or create art is a strange thing from an evolutionary perspective. With music, dance, and some other visual arts people theorize that prosody and body-language isolated from other forms of expression while some arts are cheesecakes, inducing artificial flow, or it exploits and exaggerates empathy, letting people experience a historically impossible level of imagining another person’s experience with the assistance of teams of animators, musicians, and stories with massive creation time to consumption time ratios. There is much to be known about the psychology of art, but it’s possible we can understand ourselves by understanding what art we focus on by examining patterns in choices and critiques of creations. As children, a genuine and satisfying human connection depended on such a small amount of conditions, arguably solely proximity. Meeting other children as a child involves a very small amount of variety. When you meet somebody, they will have most of their traits in common with yours, and every difference found dramatically increases your understanding of what human’s are capable of. We talk about favorite colors and foods because our experiences are simple, and rely on sensory experiences, all of which are new. Understanding that others see the same colors, or taste the same food, and express a different preference can be mind-blowing. It proves indisputably that there are other things as complicated as yourself, experiencing similar but unique things.  As individuals grow more complex, establishing more almost essential properties, having divergent experiences, this same connection gets more difficult. The balance between relating and maintaining uniquity becomes harder to find. The increasing divergence motivates us to specifically seek out people we have things in common with, or construct common ground. The ideal friendship might be with somebody who has a very different background, religion, education, social status, family, or personal history, but still has similar experiences. These people prove to us that in spite of the divergence, there is a thread of commonality.  At this age, consciousness itself grows. We are still able to detect ourselves, but like experiencing a color you can’t imagine, new emotions show up at around puberty. The tools you built through childhood no longer work in explaining and understanding yourself and your motivations. People who developed an emotion=motivation based tool set as children may react to the new emotions the way they would have if they had had those emotions as children, seeking different kinds of attention, reacting impulsively to jealousy or threats to social status. When an individual has similar experiences but reacts differently, relatability is especially difficult. People who attempted to acknowledge the parts of themselves they understand the worst would likely feel threatened by people who remain almost perfectly predictable.  From this age on, simplicity of individuals, from the perspective of a person who defines consciousness, consciously or not, by complexity, will feel threatened by individuals who exhibit little to no complexity. If a human can behave in a simple and predictable way, it is exceptionally difficult to empathize. If human-worth depends on consciousness, and some of the people in one’s life exhibit less of that, should those people deserve less compassion and attention than others? If one treats these people as if they do deserve it, cognitive dissonance is achieved.  This is where art, that which portrays complicated characters can be useful. This is where shifting in preference from Donkey Kong and Skies of Arcadia style games with straightforward problem and solution oriented plots to character driven stories like Tales of Symphonia and Final Fantasy VII. J. K. Rowling quite intelligently adjusted plots of her books to fit this change in preference among her audience. If complex characters can be portrayed, than your experiences are relatable, even if there aren’t people actively relating to them. If everyone is a philosophical zombie, the world is quite a lonely place.  I wish there were more to say about how people relate to each other, but things seem to stop here. After this point of human development, we get a little more complex, but not by as much. The best we can do is find specializations. We don’t get better at learning to specialize, but we have had a lot of time to do it now, and that’s the only difference between 18 year olds and 28 year olds in these regards. If you specializing in making yourself vaguely more complex, and understanding more and more complex people, you’ll end up finding it hard to find people who aren’t predictable, which makes it hard to find a human connection that actually feels satisfying.

When we discover a new potential specialization, it can be supported and increase our sense of connection to others, updating scratch or garageband projects regularly and relating to others as they do the same, or we can try helplessly to learn concepts, walking farther and farther down an empty tunnel leading only to isolation. Classmates in college passively interested in your major will provide empty friendships, like predictable people from high school, while people with actual common interests will keep you walking down the tunnel to somewhere actually good. 

We are faced with the unfortunate truth that even a strong motivation to get to the end of a long tunnel can’t motivate the first thousand hours of the trip into the tunnel. The motivation to take the next step must to some extent be directly related to where that next step ends up. Spartans, Visionarium, Garage Band, Marching Band, prolonged vlogging, and Scratch are all artistic and creative accomplishments that require a lot of effort to make any headway with. However, practicing them in a context that provides human connection, while not a new idea, may be the most important common denominator. At this point, complexity in art is proof that an individual has walked far down a tunnel. This is necessary when you perceive your ability to walk down a tunnel to be deficient in motivation, to some extent, because there is no visible human connection at the end of the tunnel. The increase in motivation can feel good and the artist’s expression of relateable of emotions automatically induces a feeling of connection, not supplied by nearby people.  The absence of obvious reason is important because it makes very few promises. While relating to individuals who face various forms of nihilism, allowing for common ground between artist and appreciator to be found, the unpredictability is also important because it requires an exceptionally complex view of another conscious being in order to understand the motivation behind the creation.

While songs like “Outside” follow standard musical forms, thus remaining predictable, in spite of surprise alien pregnancies, videos like “Soap Tips” and “Hi, I’m Steve” lack any precedent. While the verse-chorus form is a common meme, we can assume that the creator of a verse-chorus song didn’t come up with the idea. The producer of a meme is surely more interesting than one of thousands of hosts. Bill Wurtz created very powerful memes by any definition, and through “Hi, I’m Steve” proves capable of using standard artistic standards like the rule of threes and using them to create things that aren’t quite supposed to be songs, musicals, or anything in particular. They balance predictability and unpredictability virtuostically.

07/27/1978 is another amazing example of this balance, taking art analysis to an extreme. Vulture and SNL have intelligent perspectives of pop culture, and with minimal skepticism I assume that a video called “Adorkable Mysogiony” has also received recent views, where simple, mindless entertainment is taken seriously, critiqued as serious art, and then appears more or less meaningful than before. 07/27/1978 is by far the most extreme example. It is proof that there is an interesting person. Since it is not only a great art critique, but also arguably great art, it is satisfying on several levels. Nobody but an interesting person would ever do such a thing. What fuck happened that lead to this, I may never know. However, this video provides tremendous insight into that person, while letting that person remain quite unpredictable. There is more to get to know, and there is clearly complex consciousness behind it, warranting a uniquely large amount of empathy.

So in conclusion, I’d like to find a garage band. Maybe something more ambiguously artistic though. I don’t know though. I would like to make videos, but not ones that require being at the end of tunnels already, but rather ones with little to no focus on anything. I feel personally qualified to make “Hi I’m Steve” type videos. Should I do Unity? Tumblr could become a bit of a short story sharing site. I don’t know. Something though. Maybe this should have been a video instead of a Tumblr post.

[jesuswasgay]

I literally just want to hold you.

Sit behind you with my arms wrapped around you.

Kiss the side of your neck as you try to work.

Distract you by feeling your titties.

Run my fingers over your nipples.

Feeling your body leaning into mine.

My hips against yours.

My legs wrapped around yours.

I nibble softly on your neck.

You turn around, giving up on work, and push me playfully onto the bed. You lie on top of me as we giggle & play fight for a sec.

We stop to catch our breath & i move my lips closer to yours. I somehow catch you by surprise even though i think you knew what was coming. Your eyes widen for a split sec before closing as you kiss me back.

I’m instantly drunk off the taste of your lips. I kiss you delicately, savoring every drop of you, feeling each brush of your lips touch a place deep inside me.

We tease each other like this for a few minutes before something more feral kicks in. I nibble your bottom lip, pulling gently then devouring your mouth with my tongue. You press into me as we kiss and my hands find your hips.

You’re still lying on top me. I can feel myself growing wet as we make out. I grab your ass and work a hand over to the button of your jeans. “Is this okay?” I ask and you look me in the eyes.

“Yes," you whisper.

“Are you sure?” I ask.

“Yes.” You respond before kissing me deeply & furiously. I undo your jeans, tug them off & toss them on the floor. I remove my own jeans before taking in your body. Wow. Your pale blue panties hug your tiny hips.

We keep kissing & basking in the feeling of our bodies so closely intertwined. Nothing but our panties in between. I take your hand & place it on my pussy. You immediately begin to stroke the wetness. I moan & arch in to you.

I can feel your arousal through the 2 thin layers of damp cotton fabric seperating us. We grind as you touch me until i feel like i’m going to explode.

I shove your hand inside my panties just before I cum. You feel my pussy clench, then spasm. Your hand is inside me as I ride the waves of an unending orgasm.

[jesuswasgay]

Thinking of burying my head in your neck.

Inhaling your scent,

Running my hands through your hair.

Brushing my lips along your jawline.

Kissing you deeply.

I feel you press your body against mine,

Aching and desperate.

We stumble to the bed, shedding clothes as we go.

You straddle me and your fingers find my panties.

You slip them off and stroke my swollen cunt.

I press into you and beg you to fuck me.

You tease my clit and I groan in agony.

Finally I feel you slip your fingers inside me.

I buck and grind into your hand.

Shivering every time you hit my g-spot.

I dig my nails into your arms as I start to cum.

Pulling you even closer to me.

Riding you as my pussy quivers.

I collapse back into the pillows as my orgasm subsides.

You lie on top of my naked body and kiss me gently.

[jesuswasgay]

I want to wrap you up in my embrace.

I want to feel you nuzzle into my neck and press your body against mine.

I want to kiss the top of your head and run my fingers through your hair.

I want to feel you breathe.

I want you to curl up on my lap and rest your head on my shoulder.

I want to feel you to fall asleep in my arms because we’re just that fucking close.

[jesuswasgay]

We’re walking home from girls’ nite at the gay bar. You’re sober but I might be a little drunk. We make light conversation and I smoke a joint as we walk. When we get to my house, it’s dark & quiet. I guess everybody’s out I say. We grab snacks & you follow me upstairs to my room.

“You can crash if you want,” I say. “I can lend you a t shirt to sleep in.”

“I’m not really that tired yet,” you respond.

“Me neither.” We sit in silence on the bed for a minute. I can feel the energy emanating off your body. I want to kiss you so badly. Or am I drunk? I get up & grab us some comfy clothes.

After changing, i put on some mellow electronica & sneak a glance at your face. You seem content, playing on your phone relaxed against a pile of pillows on my bed. I sit down & scoot a little closer to you so I can lay my head on the pillow next to you. We lie there suspended for a few minutes before you set your phone down & turn towards me.

“Hi,” you whisper playfully.

“Hi,” I breathe. You look so pretty wearing my old faded Lakers shirt with your hair down around your shoulders. I can’t help it; I have to snuggle up a little closer to you. I reach my hand around your waist. “Is this okay?”

“Yes.” You instinctively move your body closer to me. Ohmigod. Feeling you next to me is my new favorite thing. I lean in & kiss you softly. You kiss me back. Wow. You taste like candy. Your lips are soft and gentle. We keep kissing. Your tongue teases mine. I want to stay like this forever, holding you, kissing you.

I run my hand down your back & up your side. You let out a tiny gasp as i gently trace my fingers across your chest, just above your tits. I lightly trace the outline of your nipples over your tshirt.

You bite your lip & squirm. I slow my touch, enjoying your discomfort. Your hands wander closer to my waist & I’m instantly wet as fuck. I feel your girldick harden under your panties.

"Can...can I touch you?" I whisper.

"Yes please," you murmur. I let my fingers trace the outline of your hard girlcock. You slip a hand inside my panties. I feel myself get even wetter as you massage my clit. I pull down your panties & take your girldick in my hands, running my fingers over the tip. You slip a finger inside me, then 2.

My whole body shakes as you brush against my g spot while thrusting your hand in & out of my cunt. I work my hand up & down your girldick, twirling my fingers around the length & letting them linger on the underside.

"Oh my fucking god I'm going cum." I moan.

"Me too," you whisper. I feel you moan harder as I touch you. I'm straining against your hand thrusting deep inside me. I'm almost there when I feel you start to explode. Your orgasm pushes me over the edge into oblivion. I cum so hard I see stars.

We lie against the pillows giggling softly & cuddling in the afterglow.

"Did I ever tell you you're amazing?" I say as I pull you in closer to me so I can feel you breathe.

"All the time, but you can tell me again," you say sleepily.

[jesuswasgay]

You’re so pretty.

I just want to close my eyes & think of your lips kissing me.

Your hands running through my hair.

Your breath on my neck.

Your body pressed against mine.

My arms wrapped around you.

Your legs wrapped around me.

Your skirt up around your hips.

Your panties wet as hell & pushed to the side.

My fingers inside you.

Feeling you ride me until you collapse in my arms,

weak & satiated.

[jesuswasgay]

thinking about running my hands underneath your soft cotton t shirt.

tracing a finger up your side,

expertly unhooking your bra with my other hand,

feeling it slip to the ground as my hands find your nipples.

you bite your lip & whine.

i take my time,

kissing your neck, your collarbone.

taking your breasts in my hands,

sliding off your top & pulling your exposed chest

into mine.

you playfully struggle to peel off my bra.

i laugh & unclasp it for you,

then grab your ass.

pull you into me,

feel your body stiffen then melt.

your head buried in my neck.

your hand sneaks under my jeans.

i pull off your jeans & mine.

you stand there wearing only panties,

your beautiful body long and lithe,

mirroring mine.

i pull you into me again,

kiss you softly,

run a hand down your naked back.

my pussy throbs against your hard girldick.

panties off.

you’re mine now.

[jesuswasgay]

I want to taste your lips

So lush & kissable.

I want to feel them on my neck,

my chest, circling my nipples.

I want to feel you wrap your arm around the small of my back

as you squeeze your body against mine.

Til there's no space between us.

I want to feel you inhabit me

& bring me back to life.

[jesuswasgay]

i want to be her safe space

[jesuswasgay]

every time we talk i feel like i'm in a different world

you write me back & my heart skips a beat

I like hearing what you have to say

thinking of you makes me feel seen

like i don’t need to explain anything, i can just be me

why you?

what is it about you that makes me feel like this?

& how can i find it in someone else?

[jesuswasgay]

I've only known you for five minutes & already I want to touch you, feel you, inhale you.

[jesuswasgay]

I’ve barely set down my suitcase when I hear a loud rap on the door to the adjoining room. I ignore it at first, then my phone buzzes.

Open the door bitch. We’re in the next room

I get up giggling as I go to undo the latch. I open the door to see you standing there grinning while your girlfriend rolls her eyes from across the room.

“That’s so random,” I say as I wave. “Hi Cora. I promise to try to not drive you fucking nuts.” I gesture to invite you both into my identical suite.

“How does it already smell like weed in here?” You ask as you walk into my suite.

“Girl, I just got here. I may have packed a ridiculous amount of weed but I haven’t had time to smoke a damn thing.” I reply playfully.

“Why aren’t we smoking now?” You respond, and I groan, knowing that the party is about to get started, and that I’m going to be tortured by smoking with two hot, unavailable lesbians. Oh well, I suppose I've suffered through worse.

I pack a bowl with some dank indica mixed with diamond crystal resin and pass it to you. You light and inhale before passing it back for me to clear.

I call out to Cora to come smoke. She appears at the adjoining door with a bemused smirk on her face.

“That didn’t take long,” she laughs, seeing us already high. I hand her the bowl & lighter. She inhales deeply before passing it back.

We sit around smoking, getting super high as we unwind and decide what to wear to dinner later.

“I’m thinking black minidress, nude heels,” I say.

“I can’t decide which dress, but I’m wearing my 4” heels,” you reply.

“You guys are wearing dresses?” Cora says.

“Sweetheart, you brought like 6 dresses,” you remind her.

“I’m just giving you shit, you two look too high to be functional right now.” Cora laughs in response.

“I’m rarely too high to be functional,” I declare. “Watch how fast I can get ready.”

I get up, grab the dress that I had literally just hung up and shimmy out of my jeans and tee. I pull it up over my bra, zip up the back and slip my feet into my nude heels.

“Done. Clothes at least.”

I do a little twirl and almost trip on the carpet. You both laugh and pretend to try to catch me.

You go back to your room determined to choose your outfit. Cora stays behind for a sec to finish smoking with me.

As I hand her a fresh bowl, she tells me to turn around so she can brush some lint off my back. I oblige and feel her hands pluck off some weightless fuzzies. Without realizing it I relax into her touch just a bit too much. Before I can move away she runs her hands over my shoulders.

“You’re so tense,” she murmurs. I hold my breath, not sure where this is going. Just then you return to my room wearing a fabulous black minidress and heels.

“She gives the best massages,” you say to me with a wink. Did I just imagine that? You sit down on the bed next to me. Wtf is going on?! I thought I was supposed to be seducing you two, not the other way round.

I look up at you timidly as her fingers work their way into my delts. You catch my eye and reach your hand out to caress my cheekbone. I bite my lip in response.

You put a finger in my mouth as Cora’s hands find my lower back. I suck your finger and clasp her hands around my waist from behind. She rests her chin on my shoulder and I turn my head to kiss her gently. She tastes amazing, and I don’t want to stop but I do.

I look at you for reassurance. You lean in and kiss me deeply, running your hand down my body until it meets hers. I can’t fucking believe this; I’m in literal lesbian heaven.

We move our hands across each others’ bodies. You massage my breasts as I kiss her neck. I turn so I’m facing her with my ass up against your hips. I slip off my top and hers and kiss her bare chest.

You’ve got one hand on my nipple while the other slides under the lower half of my dress. I push my ass back into you as I nibble gently on her nipples. She moans and arches into my lips.

I kiss her again while tracing my hands up her inner thighs. She gasps as I get closer to her panties. I can feel your hands on my clit, teasing me under my very wet panties as you press into me from behind.

I spread her legs and pull aside her panties to reveal her swollen lips. I play with her wetness, swirling her clit as I feel your fingers enter me.

You hold my legs open with your other hand as you fuck me slowly. I moan and whimper while slipping my fingers inside her. She gasps and grabs my hand, shoving it deeper inside her.

We move together, finding a rhythm as you fuck me and I fuck her. I start to lose control and ride you harder. I feel her pussy walls tighten around my hand as she starts to scream and spasm. My body lets go and I cum hard, bucking into your hands as you keep fucking me harder. She begins to shake and writhe. I pull my hand out and kiss her deeply.

I grab her hands and wrap them around my waist as I turn to face you. I’m breathless and desperate to feel you cum just as hard as we did. You’re so wet and hard from watching both of us orgasm.

I lean down and take you in my mouth. You tilt your head back in ecstasy as I slide my mouth and hands up and down your girldick.

I feel you tense up like you’re almost there, and I pull my head up and kiss you on the lips. I keep kissing you while Cora positions her hips above yours and guides you inside her.

I run my tongue in circles around your nipples while she fucks you. You cum so hard that we all collapse onto the bed. A few minutes pass as we collectively catch our breath. Finally I sit up and grab the pipe.

“Anyone want to smoke another bowl?”

[jesuswasgay]

I just wanna kiss her

Feel our bodies meld together

Strip her naked, lie her down on the bed

Run my hands over her breasts

Down her stomach

Cover her hard girldick in lube

Run my hands up & down until she’s begging for it

Tease her by positioning my hips right above her

Touching my wet pussy lips to the tip of her girldick

Then gently guiding her inside me

I wish i was riding her right now

Grinding my tight pussy up & down her girldick

She has one hand on my hips & the other on my clit

We find a rhythm & the pleasure intensifies

I’m trying so hard not to cum until she’s ready

She moans & i feel her explode inside me

I can’t hold back anymore either & start to spasm & gasp as my cunt drinks up her cum

She wraps her arms around me & kisses me deeply