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shxtodxroki · 11 months

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𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚜

Summary: You’re cuddling with Jihyun, but he’s oddly quiet, as if he’s listening to something specific. And when you eventually ask why, you learn about your boyfriend’s biggest joy in life (aside from you, of course).

Flufftober Day 8 Prompt: Rainy Day

Warnings: Mentions/hints towards depression, mentions of V slowly losing his eyesight

Pairing: V ( Jihyun Kim) x Gender Neutral! Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Check out my full Flufftober masterlist here!

The room is silent, almost eerily so, as you sit beside your boyfriend with curious eyes and a mind full of wonder. You’re cozily cuddled up to his side, the fireplace running as you wrap both of your arms around one of his and press your cheek into his sweater. But for some reason, neither of you have said anything at all for the past ten minutes, your lover silently staring at the roof as if listening for something, or perhaps listening to something? You’re not particularly sure, but he seems more at peace than he hardly ever does, leaving you hesitant to disturb his clear serenity and risk wiping the soft, barely-there smile clean off his face.

Though you don’t wish to interrupt the silence of the room, you do slowly begin to sneak one of your hands down towards his palm, carefully linking your fingers with his. He lets you without a second thought, always open to your touch even when he’s not particularly paying attention, though your movements don’t seem to draw him out of his thoughts or his listening in the slightest as he remains quiet and stoic. Your cheek nuzzles against the fuzziness of his wool sweater in search of warmth despite the fire going at the other end of the room and the blanket currently being shared across your two bodies, as his warmth is like none other to you. A blanket and a fire can only warm your surface, but he’s able to get rid of the chill in your bones, able to make your soul feel light and airy to your core even with his own demons.

The fingers of your free hand slowly begin to dance up his sleeve, mindlessly playing with the soft fabric in your hands as your eyes turn up to his face. You could study him all day, you really could. He’s a living work of art, a being somehow painted perfectly, or photographed by an eye even more meticulous than his own. There’s not one feature of his that you don’t love, from his striking, vibrant hair to his soft, plush lips to his short, gentle fingernails that he lets you paint whenever you ask. He’s more precious than diamond or gold to your aching heart, and as he stares at nothing at all and finds himself lost in sounds unbeknownst to you, you find yourself thinking that he looks even more statuesque and gorgeous than usual as he sports one of his increasingly rare grins.

Though you’re desperate to hold his peace, to let him ruminate in this happiness that he’s so visibly experiencing for once, your curiosity eventually wins out as you ponder what could possibly be enrapturing him so much. Your hand gently squeezes his as you silently plead for his attention, gently snuggling into him once more as you look up at him and meet his gaze with soft, questioning eyes.

“What are you thinking about, love?” You ask quietly, careful to keep your voice low in hopes of preserving this moment’s serenity. “You seem really lost in something, but I can’t quite figure out what.”

Jihyun can’t help but let out a soft chuckle to your words, his free hand gently moving to trace along your knuckles as he responds. “....Can you hear that, angel?” He asks with a soft smile, and when you stop to listen, you can’t seem to hear much aside from a small, distant pitter-patter.

Tink. Tink. Tink. The sound barely echoes through the room, and for a second you think that can’t possibly be what your boyfriend’s referring to. You have no clue what it even is, how could it be significant enough for him to comment on?

But then, like a strike of lightning in your neurons, you realize that the sound is the soft patter of rain against your roof, your eyes glancing towards the window as you watch the droplets race down the glass panes and fill the sky with a grey smog. You had never known your lover to be particularly fascinated with the rain, but many people enjoyed the sights and sounds of fresh rainfall, though you were still curious if there was a deeper root as to why he seemed so utterly lost in the echoes of the downpour.

“The rain?” You ask for confirmation, your fingers squeezing his hand once more as he wordlessly nods in response. “I suppose I can, it’s pretty quiet though. I didn’t know you liked the rain so much….” You mutter, prompting him for further elaboration, if there was any to discuss in the first place.

He doesn’t answer right away, simply giving you another soft smile as he pulls you closer than before. He was being awfully generous today, showing off the beauty that is his smile more frequently than he had ever since you had met him, and the mere sight makes your heart swell to the brim. You suddenly find yourself incredibly thankful for the rain, your gratitude for the way it’s brightened your lover’s attitude pouring out of you and rivaling the steady downfall outside even if you can’t understand it. Until he finally explains it to you, the best he can, and gives you a window into his mind.

“Well… my eyesight is nearly gone now.” He starts with a sigh, though he doesn’t sound as melancholy as he typically does when the topic is brought up. That mention instantly piques your curiosity further, however, and you listen with rapt attention as he continues as the pads of your fingers mindlessly grip his sleeve. “So I can’t enjoy many of the things that used to calm me down before. The sight of flowers in a vibrant garden, the fireplace flaring up on a cold night, the thrill of getting to photograph a precious sight… honestly, I was starting to think I had nothing besides you that made me feel relaxed anymore.”

Of course you knew he had been suffering as the deterioration of his eyesight progressed. Anyone in his position would, and you had witnessed firsthand the simple pleasures of nature in his life slowly decreasing as his vision went more and more. But you hadn’t realized just how bad it had been mentally wounding him until this moment, and your heart aches for him as you patiently wait for him to continue at his own pace.

“But…. I can still enjoy the rain. Rain has never been about the sight for me, unlike most things that soothe my mind. It…. it’s more about the sound of the rain hitting the house, the smell of the mist in the air…. I guess I’m just happy that I haven’t lost all of my favorite parts of nature. That I can still enjoy things like this with the senses I do still have.”

Though your heart still holds a crack in response to his troubles, you feel tears of relief begin weighing down your waterline as his smile grows wider than it’s been all day. You suddenly shift your weight to meet him eye-to-eye after taking a moment to compose yourself, taking your sweet, fragile man’s precious face in your hands as you stare at him with a cheesy, lovestruck smile.

“You know, I think you’ve made me love the rain too.” You whisper, before leaning in and connecting your lips in a tender, gentle kiss. It’s brief, a few seconds at most, but he’s able to understand without words just how thankful you are for this moment. How thankful you are that he’s smiling again, that he’s found something besides his lover that still brings him joy. You’ve had to watch him lose so much along with his eyesight, sticking by his side through all of his worst moments along this journey, and through this kiss he realizes that you dream of him never losing joys like the rain ever again.

You’re unable to resist the urge to brush your thumb against the soft skin of his cheek as you pull away from this kiss, your finger slowly tracing along his sharp jawline as you press another peck to his cheek. “If it makes you happy, then I hope it rains every day. Anything to see you smile. “ You tell him with a voice full of fondness, and right then Jihyun knows that he could lose every other pleasure in life - rain included - and still be perfectly satisfied, as long as he still had you to love and hold throughout the rest of his life.

Request - Anonymous said: hello, darling! how are you? for your flufftober could you write something for v from mysme, please???

A/N: Ahhhh so sorry for my absence during my school-related slump, but I am STILL going to catch up these next few days because I REALLY want to see this event through to the end since I’m having tons of fun with it! Honestly I don’t know much about V (haven’t been down his route yet, and there’s been very little about him in the routes I’ve been down so far) so I hope this is okay! I think it turned out really sweet at least, I’m pretty proud of this so I hope you guys enjoy it as well! :> Also my requests are currently open, so if you have any requests for any fandoms I write for feel free to send them my way!

Taglist: @flufftober

If you’d like to be added to any of my taglists, you can fill out this form here! Thank you for your support <3

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xelasrecords · 8 months

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Locus of Pain

Kim Jihyun x MC

NSFW

MC doesn't tell Jihyun she's hurt. He finds out anyway.

I'm back with smutty and messy ambiguous relationships! With GE Jihyun's personality. I will forever campaign for his GE personality until it becomes mainstream in fics and I don't have to put a disclaimer anymore.

TW: discussions on adult child abuse, self-destructive thoughts and actions, brief mild gore imagery, self-harm

Words: 4.5k

Masterlist Read on AO3

She stumbled into the apartment with a pained grunt.

She ought to feel bad for staining the floor with her blood, but she had more important matters to attend to. Her back was burning with lacerations and every step she took was straining the bruises that had burrowed into her muscles.

She tried not to swing her hands too much as she headed for the bathroom, disposing of her jacket at the foot of the bed. For once she was thankful for Rika's cramped apartment. It could be suffocating at times, but it was easy to live in. Jihyun said Rika had a taste of unassuming minimalism. She thought building a gilded emerald cult with thousands of followers was pushing the definition.

Gripping the edge of the sink, she clenched her jaw and started peeling off her blood-crusted shirt. The injuries shouldn't be too deep since the blood had stopped flowing down her back like a free-flowing motherfucker. But as she pulled the shirt over her head, it tore the barely knit skin apart, and warm blood started to trickle down again.

She cursed her thin epidermis. It was not supposed to tear over a mere picture frame thrown at it, even if the frame was large enough to cover half of the bedroom wall.

Her father had excellent aim and strength. He had proven that to her many times.

Sometimes she fantasised about breaking his skull in with a scorching hot pan, wondering if his hair would melt from the heat or if his eyes would bulge out of their sockets. Would he scream for her help? Would he plead for mercy or curse her for being a demon spawn? Then, she could blame him for fathering such an evil inside her.

Her stomach curdled with guilt. The resentment was hers alone, and he had loved her despite her selfishness. She couldn't shed away the primal care she had for him. She was her mother's daughter, after all.

Twisting her body in the mirror, she made a quick work of cataloguing her injuries. Two long gashes that dipped into her flesh but wouldn't require stitches, one blackening bruise near her ribs, and several cuts and bruises that stippled across her back. She tested her breathing. No wheezing. No punctured lung. An improvement from the last time. Jihyun wouldn't need to know.

She stepped into the shower and washed off the blood. The cold water chilled her bones. But it had to. It was better to feel all of it. She had asked for his wrath and now she dealt with the consequences. Besides, it helped with closing the wounds.

After she put on a pair of shorts, she reached for a bottle of alcohol from the medicine cabinet. Sharp gasps escaped her mouth every so often as she tried to pour just enough. Medicine was costly and she shouldn't waste it. The burn blinded her vision white and she hunched over the sink, focusing on the cold ceramic under her fingertips and the slicing of tiles beneath her bare feet.

When her sight had stopped swimming, she took a deep breath and bent her arm behind her in awkward angles to slap adhesive bandages to the wounded area. She grunted in frustration. It was tougher than she'd thought. She was nauseous from constantly looking up to check her reflection, the evening autumn draft was pricking at her exposed skin, and the plasters kept sticking to the wrong place.

She glared at the mirror. Do not faint.

How many nights had she spent patching herself up? And yet she still struggled. Her lack of progress was almost laughable.

She didn't think there were any glass shards embedded in her though. One good thing that came out of this. She tried not to think about the larger shard she had pocketed when the picture frame glass shattered, now buried under the bloody heap of clothes.

She froze when she heard someone punching in the door passcode.

She was about to kick her bathroom door close when Jihyun entered and switched on the lights from down the hallway. Their eyes locked, and he stopped in his tracks. Her throat constricted.

This was not how she wanted him to ever see her.

His face grew horrified, and he dropped his satchel in his rush to get to her. She had a fleeting worry that his satchel might have dropped onto the blood-stained floor and she might have ruined his fine leather bag.

Jihyun stood before her, his mouth opened and closed. She schooled her face into indifference and waited.

"You—" he started, "what happened?"

The impulse to lie was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't find a good reason to when he had caught her like this. She doubted he would believe her excuses. The day had been long and she was so tired.

"A jolly good ol' catch-up with my parents." Her tone was casual.

Jihyun watched her with a worried frown, then squeezed into the small space and ran the tap water through his hands. He was moving with a surprising efficiency as he lathered his hands with soap before scanning her injuries and her first aid supplies.

"Please let me help." His teal eyes were desperate. She had forgotten how luminous they were from up close. "You can't do this alone."

"You shouldn't have come here tonight."

"I'm well-versed in healing people," he urged. "I used to heal my own injuries when I was with Rika. I treated hers as well. I know enough, so you can trust me." His fingers twitched, almost reaching for her before dropping to his side. "Please."

More than the fact that she was found out, she hated that she had made Jihyun worry about her. The only thing she excelled at was to instil negative feelings in people who cared about her. Always wrath in her parents, sometimes concern in Jihyun.

Jihyun had never lost his head at her, but she was waiting for it to happen. No one had the patience of a saint, not even him.

It was a pity she had condemned him to another relationship where he had to play the caretaker. Letting him treat her would be an appropriate compensation for his scare. "Go on," she said. "But I should probably lie down."

Relief flooded his face. "That would be the best. Can you walk on your own?"

She nodded, but he held her arm and assisted her to the bed. He sat her down, slowly, and helped her settle into a comfortable position to lie prone in. She buried her face into the pillow that smelled faintly of mint leaves. It was Jihyun's side of the bed. It comforted her that he was permanent enough in her life that she could find traces of him in her private space.

"Has it always been this bad?" Jihyun asked quietly. The feeling of his lithe fingers inspecting her skin with clinical precision was unfamiliar. His touches were always loving, adoring, not stiff with anxiety. He had never seen her with weeping wounds. She had never let him into the truth.

"Only when I deliberately provoke them. Mother goes off the rails, father blames me for not caring about my own parents, I try to save myself before things escalate." She raised her head and smirked at him. "I don't always succeed though. Got a picture frame to my back, as you can see. Took being backstabbed by your family to the next level. They were supposed to hang it where their guests could see, but I doubt they'd hang it without the glass now. People would ask."

There was a brief silence before he spoke. "That's terrible." His voice was soft, barely a murmur. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know they are violent."

She shrugged. "You're not the one who should apologise. And they will anyway, once they think I've iced them out for too long. Not that it means anything."

He shook his head, and strands of aquamarine hair fell across his forehead. They softened the distress that wrought his features. "You're not a mouse they can play with."

"No, I'm just their daughter they can hurt," she said. Jihyun pressed a bandage against the grisliest gash across her back and she winced. "Do you think it'll scar?"

"It most likely will. Had it been any deeper, you would have needed stitches." He paused, his palm resting on her spine. "Why didn't you call me?"

"It didn't occur to me," she lied. She wanted to lay down her defences and curl into his arms. She didn't want to keep fighting for herself. There were times when escaping was better than fighting for nothing, but it wasn't something she could ask from him. Her cage was her own.

Jihyun's fingers curled against her skin, and she could sense the waves of sorrow unfurling around her. "Can you think of me from now on? It doesn't have to be all the time, moments when you are hurt will do. If you call, I will come."

"I think of you all the time, Jihyun."

"Oh. I didn't know that." The surprise was evident in his tone. He applied another bandage to her back, smoothing it cautiously over the raw wound. "But I know no one is meant to bear their burden alone. You have been through so much."

"So have you, love. I'm not special." She gave him a bitter smile. "Now, why did you come here unannounced?"

Jihyun studied her for several seconds. "I wanted to see you," he said. "You've been withdrawn lately, so I thought something had happened."

She chuckled. "I suppose this counts as something."

"I never had to imagine you in my position before," he said. "I thought you'd confide in me when you're hurt. It's what you always urge me to do. You taught me to be more trusting. But seeing you like this makes me realise how much fear you and Jumin must have felt when I took matters into my own hands." He let out a ragged sigh. "I don't know how I would cope if I came here one day and saw you unconscious on the floor."

Lucky he wasn't here when she blacked out from a concussion a few months ago.

She made a dismissive gesture. "Do as I say, not as I do."

"Only if you let me do the same thing."

She levelled a glare at him. "Definitely not."

Jihyun snorted but worked silently after. The stinging pain was dulling into low throbs. She had lost count of the bandages he used, but it must have been more than necessary. She felt the adhesives even on the spots that didn't require them. Jihyun was being excessive. After everything she had gone through, she was confident that a small, uncovered cut wouldn't be her reason to die.

He should know. He had been stabbed and was still alive fretting over her.

She heard him uncapping an ointment and felt a cool sensation on her skin. He carefully massaged the salve into the bruises, sending shivers throughout her body. How nice he was. How patient. How kind.

When he pushed her hair aside to tend to the base of her neck, her breath caught. His fingertips sent fire down her synapses. It had been so long since they did anything. The distance she put between them was growing taut. The farther she pulled, the harder she would crash back into him.

Her arm moved on its own accord when she grabbed Jihyun's fingers and pressed her lips to the back of his hand. The strong herbal scent from the salve burned her nose, but this smooth hand was his. Hers.

Jihyun was always there for her to come back to.

He was not home. Home, to her, was not something that she ever longed to go. It was the misery that strangled her into obedience and shrunk her world into a dark, bleak place to survive in.

He was her sanctuary on a far-off island. Nothing could get to them when they were together.

Jihyun let out a light chuckle that sang to her heart. "Let me wash my hands. I don't want to make you any more ill."

She squeezed his hand. "I missed you too, you know. I'm glad you're with me."

He stilled, then crouched beside her head. He tucked the hair that obscured her face behind her ear and kissed her temple before gently wrestling his hand out of her grasp. The shape of his lips was just as she remembered it.

She watched him rinse the blood from her clothes and exhaled in relief when he didn't stray to her trousers' pocket. She watched him clean his hands with water trickling down his forearms, the brown sleeves of his sweatshirt pulled up and collecting water at the elbows. She watched him storing the first aid kit and medicines in the cabinet to her preferred arrangement. She watched him doing useless things for her.

When Jihyun climbed into the bed and rested against the headboard, she asked, "Do you know what the worst part of this is?"

He stared down at her, eyes carrying a heavy sorrow. "That your parents don't know how to love you?"

"Not even close." She rolled her eyes. "I've known that all my life. Not being able to lean against anything is the real tragedy. Look at me, I can't even sit comfortably beside you."

"But you can come closer," he said slowly.

She raised her brows but let him guide her to lie on his chest, his fingers resting on her bare shoulders.

He was clothed and she wasn't and it was something she needed to rectify.

She tangled her leg around his and relaxed her head against his beating heart. It was thrumming to a rising tempo that mirrored hers. She toyed with a loose thread on the neck of his sweatshirt. "I wish you weren't so good at fixing up injuries like mine. I wish you never had to learn."

"It's all in the past now." He slipped his fingers into the gaps between hers and clasped them. "I'd go through it again if I had known it would help alleviate your pain."

She snapped up at him. "Your martyr streak needs to stop."

"I have stopped. Just allow me this one exception." He planted a chaste kiss on her mouth, then cleared his throat. "Will you meet your parents again?"

She tightened the thread around her forefinger until it looked like diagonally dissected blocks of meat and she could barely feel its existence. "I know they do horrible things sometimes, but I can't cut them off. It's not that easy. I still love them. When they're not mad, they can be easy to love."

Jihyun frowned at her finger and gently untangled the thread before snapping it off. "That's what makes leaving harder, isn't it?" The haunting in his face revealed the extent of horrors that he had experienced. An angel with a darkened, torn soul who was still rising high above. He was not her. She liked that about him. "It's easier to hate someone when they have only been awful to you. It's their residual goodwill that gives you hope that they will change. When I look back to how stubbornly I stood beside Rika, I understand. Left in the dark, we cling to the light. We forget who trapped us there in the first place."

She didn't want to admit that Jihyun was right. That he was right, yet it would not change anything.

She wondered if she had been drawn to him because the subconscious part of her knew he would understand. Jihyun knew how to make her feel less alone in the guilt and resentment and twisted love that she couldn't untangle herself from. Most people were not like him. She learned from a young age that if people found out about the abuse, they would either urge her to leave—which added unnecessary pressure on her because it was never an option—or give her pitiful looks while stumbling over their words.

"Jihyun," she said.

He drew his thumb over her chin. "Yes?"

"Don't go." She pushed herself up and crashed her lips into his.

It was fervent, maddening, and she poured all the tension from their time of separation into it. The yearning to see him. The stress from her parents meddling with her happiness. Everything she had been missing after being alone for so long.

Jihyun reciprocated with more caution, treading her lips like they were a treasure trove. He gave in eventually when she didn't show a sign of discomfort, his kiss matching her intensity.

She bit his lower lip and slipped her tongue into his mouth. He gripped her shoulders, pulling her closer until she was pressed against him. His hands were not sliding down her waist and everywhere else like he tended to. He kept his hold staunchly on her arms even as he deepened the kiss.

It hit her what he was doing. He was being considerate of her battered body.

She let out a sob into his mouth. Nobody had ever cared for her like this. She could stand all the violence flung at her, but one act of kindness felled her to her knees.

Jihyun pulled away in an instant, his glazed eyes searching across her face and body. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head. "I was just thinking about you. You're wonderful. I missed you." Jihyun's expression was guarded, appraising her, and she let him. She had spoken the truth. She offered the truth so rarely that she would not omit more of it if it concerned his regard for himself. "I'm fine, Jihyun."

He gave a slow nod, and she tugged off his cashmere sweater. With a tender touch, she ran her hand through the ragged red patches of skin that stood out against his pale torso. Burn scars from a house fire. Both of them had childhood wounds woven into their very being. The past was made permanent on their skin.

Jihyun squirmed, seemingly self-conscious, despite her being familiar with the scars, but he made no attempts to stop her. He was beautiful, body and soul, she thought. He had more love and forgiveness in him than anyone she had ever known.

She trailed kisses along his jaw and sucked on the juncture behind his ear. He moaned and curved his body against her, and she smiled into his neck. It was amusing, the reactions that she could elicit out of him. No one could touch him as she could. He did not let anyone else know him intimately like this. He was only for her.

She suspected all of this played into his pleasure as well.

She twined her fingers around his hair, marvelling at the softness of it, and pulled it back to bare his throat. He had such a beautiful throat.

She didn't apply much pressure as she wrapped her hand around it, but his breath hitched. Her lips curved into a sly smile, her other hand wandering down his hard bulge. "I don't know why being choked always turns you on."

Jihyun held his gaze on her despite his reddening complexion. "I can feel you wanting me when you hold me like this."

"I do want you." She swung her leg astride him, straddling his hips and rested her forehead against his. The hard-on beneath her was hard to ignore. "It drives me out of my mind when I can't be with you."

"You shouldn't have pushed me away," he murmured. "I'll still want you, however you are, whatever condition you are in. You're always just you to me. Nothing can make me want you less."

"I'm sorry," she said. Jihyun closed his eyes, and she kissed his eyelid with a gentleness that she reserved only for him. "I'm sorry I left you alone."

He cradled her cheek, and she basked in the warmth of it. The safety of him. He was here and she couldn't fight the temptation to lose herself in him. "You didn't leave me alone. I belong with you. Anywhere you run to, you take me with you. I'm yours."

She tightened her hold on his throat to see his reaction. "You're mine," she whispered.

A slow smile graced his delicate face. "I am. I'm yours."

Jihyun drew her closer by the elbow and peppered kisses on her mouth, her chin, her throat, and her collarbones. He palmed her breasts and sucked her nipple while tweaking the other with his fingers. They hardened at his touch and she moaned his name, demanding him to be harder, rougher.

She needed to feel everything.

He bit her nipple and her hand slipped to the base of his skull, grasping at his hair. He was hers. His action and devotion were hers. It sent a deluge of pleasure down her core. Jihyun could be gentle, but he was also earnest to give her the satisfaction she sought.

She wanted him. She wanted him. She wanted him more than the freedom from her wretched life.

"I love you." She tipped his chin back. "I love you, Jihyun. Remember it."

He smiled up at her, his pupils blown wide with lust. "I love you, too."

She reached down and unbuckled his trousers. She had done more strenuous activities in a worse state, so fucking him wouldn't damage her already mangled body. But Jihyun stilled her wrist when he saw through her intention.

She narrowed her gaze. "I'm on the pill."

"You're hurt," he said. "I don't want to worsen your injuries."

"Have you not treated them?"

His grip wasn't loosening. "You need more time to heal. The wounds may open again."

"Then go slow."

Jihyun hesitated.

"Please," she croaked.

As soon as she uttered the word, she knew she had him. He sighed, but let go of her wrist. "You'll have to be careful. I'm stopping this if you push yourself too far."

"Brilliant."

Jihyun pulled down his trousers while she discarded her shorts. She lowered herself into him, relishing in the feel of him filling her. He ran his hands up and down her waist tentatively until he was sure that he wasn't touching any of the injuries on her back. Only then did he allow himself to move into her with practised ease. She held onto his shoulders and rolled her hips in tandem, burying her face into his neck and letting him control the pace. Jihyun had meant his warning and she was not eager to risk it.

It felt new. It felt familiar. It was what she had yearned for. His low grunts, her body slanting forward to hit the right spot, their skin sticking to each other in sweat and slick wetness.

Jihyun was slow, unhurried, with faint caresses down her back. His concern for her was easy to read. He was tracing back the pain that he couldn't protect her from. He might no longer bear a debilitating guilt, but she didn't think he could ever eradicate his need to shield her from misfortunes.

She couldn't blame him. It was the same with her, though the abuse done to her wasn't something that anyone could simply take away, and they both knew it.

She bit his earlobe, mumbling, "It's not your fault."

Jihyun tilted his face, and his lips brushed her cheek. "It's not yours either."

She stopped caring whose fault her source of agony was and thrust into him, picking up the pace while she dug her nails into his arms. He didn’t stop her, his hand snaking down to find her bundle of nerves instead.

She gasped and arched her back when he rubbed her. She was vaguely aware of the sharp jabs of pain in her back, but she welcomed them. Pain grounded her into him.

Jihyun's fingers were vigorous, and his thrusting was getting rougher that it twisted the coil in her lower abdomen. She writhed with need, whispering to him not to stop, and he listened, and it brought her higher and higher until the coil snapped.

She cried out in ecstasy.

Jihyun kept to his pace as she rode out the climax, not stopping despite her trembling legs and clearing haze. She focused on him overwhelming her in a way that annihilated her need for anything else. The alkaline tang of paint that lingered on him. His tightening grip on her bottom as she felt him reaching his climax. Him twitching inside her when he finally did, his muscles tensing as he came inside her. His pleasure-struck face that entranced her every time.

He was a marvel to look at, to have. He was hers. He had proclaimed it. He was the forest that shrouded her from the vultures circling above, the soft sand that sank her deeper into him with each pull of the waves, the hearth that kept her warm through the barren cold. With him, she could breathe.

She would give him everything he wanted. She would not let him go.

She slumped against him, their mixed fluids seeping down her thighs. He slipped out of her and she kissed the underside of his jaw. "I love you."

Jihyun's breath was still racing as he drew circular patterns on her shoulder blades. "Your parents didn't hurt you because you provoked them. They hurt you because they're abusive. It's not your fault."

She sighed. She had hoped he would let it go, but nothing could stop him once he made up his mind. "Knowing it doesn't make it any better."

"Do you really think so?" He ran his thumb up her inner forearm. She flinched and tried to jerk away, but he held onto her. The deepest scars had faded to silver, but the fresher ones were raised ridges along her skin. She had been careful, small cuts scattered on an easily hidden spot. She didn't realise he would notice. "Isn't this your form of penance?"

Her chest tightened. "It's the only thing I have control over. If I blame them and direct all my anger at them, I will hurt them. This way, the only person I hurt is myself. I'm not a weapon. I'm not a threat."

"Don't you think you've been hurt enough?"

She wore a thin smile and looked away. "Sure."

Jihyun's hands slid up her jaw and tilted her head back to him, his fingers resting on the pulse points on her neck. "You can be angry around me. It's natural to want to express your emotions. They're not something you're supposed to keep to yourself. Talk to me when you feel like turning to self-mutilation. I'm yours, remember? My ears are yours to talk to. My shoulders are for you to lean on."

She surveyed his pleading gaze with a twinge of pity. Jihyun was asking for more than he was supposed to receive. In time, he would see it.

Another waiting game had begun. She almost did not want to see the ending.

"All right. I'll do that."

Footnotes:

I went with Jihyun because I thought he'd be an interesting choice. The role reversal and all. He's forced to confront how he is seen through MC's eyes when he's involved in dangerous situations and refuses help.

MC's relief for living in Rika's suffocating apartment at the beginning parallels her feeling trapped in the familial cage that she doesn't want to leave. There's a reason why she doesn't move out of the apartment even after the cult drama is over. She's a bird caged too long that she can't take flight even if the door is open. She's not capable of leaving things behind, so she hoards everything she can (Jihyun) to herself.

MC thinking that her father "had loved her despite her selfishness" is the product of her parents' manipulation. Her belief that she's selfish if she feels negative emotions and wants anything at all is what drives her self-destruction, and ironically, her possessiveness.

With Jihyun, it's easy to make him fall into the rescuer role when the partner self-harms, so I was very mindful of depicting the discovery scene. I didn't want to romanticise it and make MC feel like if she got hurt more, she'd get more attention from him. Since this is GE Jihyun, he wouldn't default back to his old enabling methods.

I was dubious about making MC self-harm since I don't want this to be a gratuitous checklist of trigger warnings, but it makes sense for her to turn to cutting. If she has to be hurt, it might as well be by herself. Might as well be on her terms.

The nature metaphors are to show Jihyun's and MC's common interest in nature.

Are they actually in love or is it just oxytocin and loneliness? Who knows?

I felt pressured to write a romantic fic, but I haven't been able to these days so I turned to this. It brought relief somehow. This was cathartic.

I used to think I'd never write a possessive character in a non-antagonising light yet here we are. I compared this MC to the one from Wedge the Knife Under My Skin, but this one is blunter with her words and well, more possessive. She's bitter and sarcastic and resigned to her suffering. Fortunately, Jihyun is secure enough to see through her sharp defences.

The title is a twist on the locus of control concept in psychology, which is about a person's degree of belief on how much of their internal force governs their external life.

I don't know why I like to throw Jihyun into ambiguous relationships either.

Header Corner:

A quick process breakdown! Add a directional blur to the base footage > duplicate the footage, slightly shift the position and change the blur direction to get the hazy look > add a red filter overlay to fit the fic's bloody mood but retain the magenta in the background to resonate with the romance aspect > choose the appropriate angsty text and font!

#jihyun kim #mystic messenger #mysme #jihyun kim angst #jihyun x mc #jihyun kim smut #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger v #mystic messenger imagine #tw abuse #tw self harm #xela writes #jihyun kim fic

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breaddwoo · 2 years

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-Reset Button-

pairing: jumin han x mc

desc: events after jumin's bad ending where mc drumps out of a window ;(

warnings: suicide 💀

a/n: anyone who plays this game is depressed and a masochist

jumin's happiness is gone. it had fallen out the window and splattered 60 stories below.

he didn't even want to look. he was going to puke. vial acidic liquid crawled up his throat like a demon as he fell to his knees.

it was all v's fault. he distracted jumin. no. you know why this happened. it's all because she couldn't understand the tangled threads inside him. it's because i didn't know how to love her properly. it's all v's fault. it's my fault. if only she understood him. if only i'd let her go.

jumin wiped brown fluid that dripped down his chin; the stain forever imprinted on his thousand-dollar suit. he would never get it cleaned.

v was yelling and people were screaming outside, but jumin understood none of it. the sounds phased together, his eyesight went fuzzy. tears? have i ever cried?

as a child, maybe, but this was different. those tears were shed for broken toys; these were for a vanquished love.

he began to stand, wobbling. v tried to help him up but jumin slapped his hands away, as if they burned him. he couldn't even look at v, or her, or anyone.

as he stumbled his way to the nearest elevator, he began to cry. first it was a few silent tears, then salty streams slid down his cheeks until he was sobbing.

heavy, throat filled sobs that made him choke on the saliva bubbling in his mouth. the elevator music felt patronizing. he sobbed harder.

when the elevator made it to the lobby, he could already see the crowd outside. how dare they make her a spectacle?

he began running for the automatic doors. they opened far before he made it close, as if a small gesture of pity for what he was about to see.

his vision was blurry and he saw red. red on the sidewalk, red on the plants outside. red on her clothes.

jumin crudely shoved people aside. he could already hear the wailing sirens of the vehicle that would pronounce her dead.

his first thought upon sight of her was: she's beautiful.

he could not see her face, and he did not want to. jumin knew it wouldn't be the face he fell in love with. it probably wouldn't be there at all.

he felt the threads that she had unraveled begin to fester and tangle once more; only this time they were so entwined that he felt they would snap.

the memories of what happened next were hazy. crying, sobbing, weeping, wailing. petting skin that was dangerously cold. threatening people with a stretcher.

v watched jumin cry, his expression unreadable as jumin could not make it out through his tears.

once the people had stolen her away and jumin was sat back in his penthouse, the world felt deadly quiet. everything he looked at was grey. grey bed, grey closet, grey hands. these grey hands held hers only a day before, when her skin was warm.

if only there was a reset button.

#jumin han #mystic messenger #mysmes #jumin han imagine #jumin han bad ending #cheritz #jihyun kim #v mystic messenger #jumin mysme #jumin mystic messenger #jumin x mc #mystic messenger angst

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mys-me-stuff · 8 months

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requests?

hi friends, i'm hella late to the party but i grew up on mystic messenger and fanfic, and recently rediscovered a love for both of these things. with that said, i'm also very unsure of where to start.

will not write: anything that is socially unacceptable, pls don't even make requests like that. that's a wide range of things, i'm aware. just be normal, i beg.

will write: angst, fluff, (bad) smut, anything else within the realm of normal people requests that someone smarter than myself may come up with.

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suhyeos · 2 years

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Even when I know you don't like me, I still like you. So, for the first time in my life, i'm going to be in unrequited love. CHEER UP, EP. 09

#imagine confessing to the girl u like when she's awake !#kim hyunjin #han jihyun #cheer up #sbs cheer up #kdramadaily #kdramasource #♡

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whymustyoube · 1 year

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they drop that Jihyun vapes but we never see him do it. probably cause vaping makes you look like a loser… vaping community don’t jump me

#the eighth sense #kim jihyun #korean bl #yeah but imagine him lighting up some peach ice vape #jaewon also barely even smoked in the show #would make him too hot?

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marshmallowprotection · 4 months

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Hey, I've recently discovered your blog and I've been binge reading almost all of your writing lol. I love them and I honestly admire your dedication and love for MysMe, thank you so much for all your writing! Though I hope you aren't pushing yourself or anything 😭💗 I'm wondering if you have any HCs of Jumin and V during their childhood/teenagehood?

Jumin and Jihyun recount many events throughout their childhoods now and again, and sometimes I find myself laughing because there's things you don't expect them to say. Like, when they were both in the church choir and had a singing contest between one another! They're poking fun at each other because of it, and it reminds me that they're childhood friends without a doubt and even though there's a lot we're unable to see, they've always been there for each other to see this or that.

Sometimes, I like to think about Jihyun and Jumin doing homework together! It wasn't easy to do it when they were in elementary school because their families likely had them with tutors and in cram classes most, if not all of the time, on school days. But, as teenagers, I like to think Jihyun is glaring at his art history homework while shoveling his tiramisu down, and Jumin sipping tea, casually tearing through much of his calculus homework.

You'd think they would talk while they work, but that's not always the case. They enjoy each other's company, and if you actually hear those two talking, it's because Jihyun couldn't handle the way the way all of his books phrased the wrong information about something, and that presses Jumin to discuss why he thinks the information is wrong and why incorrect information would be published.

Those two could be talking for hours while continuing their work, but if you get them talking about something, they're never going to shut up. Which, is good, I don't want either of them to feel like they aren't allowed to talk at length when they feel comfortable with someone else.

But, that does lend itself to their life later on, when you hear about how casually they speak to each other when they have an evening purposefully set aside for drinks. Rika used to tell them to go to bed because they would spend hours discussing the universe and then not only would they wake up with a hangover, they wouldn't get to bed until sunrise.

The good thing about their friendship is that they find a sense of kinship in each other. Those two have the tendency to hold back unless they're with each other or their respected MC. I don't know why they feel like they have to hold back when it comes to their passion and enjoying the fine art of having communication be of language... but it's nice to see open up. Jumin and Jihyun are the type of people I would love to talk to for hours because so much of their friendship is built on the fact that they've always been able to talk to each other about anything.

That's why it hurts so much when Jihyun stops confiding in Jumin, after all.

Here's a light-hearted theory before I tell you the most painful thing I can imagine, Jihyun would drive Jumin around in his little toy car after the accident because Jumin was never allowed to drive his car again after he snuck onto the Kim property and smacked his car into the wall. That’s okay, though, Jihyun loves the wind in his hair and Jumin prefers to be a navigator.

After the house fire, Jumin is the only one who visits Jihyun regularly. Mr. Kim doesn't bother to visit his son that often, sure, he's there if he HAS to be, but outside of that, he doesn't visit. Jihyun is in pain, he's experiencing the agony of loss after his mother sacrificed her life for his. He wishes he listened to Jumin earlier, he wishes he tried to a lot harder to listen to his Mother and do the right thing, and he wishes... the darkest thought of all, that his mother was still alive instead.

He's hurting, and that hurt silenced the once pretentious teenager who was ready to fight his professors about the meaning of modern art.

He becomes a shell of himself. He doesn't talk to people, he doesn't want to be around people, and it doesn't seem to matter how much people try to take his mind off of things, nothing makes it better. He is in so much pain all the time and it doesn't seem like the painkillers are going to make it any better.

I have always run with the assumption that his back is covered in burn scars and that's one of the reasons why he refuses to wear any clothes that reveal his body. The burns hurt a lot, and no amount of money can heal him, because it really doesn't matter if you have all the money in the world— you are not immune from death and injury.

That being said, there's only one person who comes to visit him every day, one person who always wants to talk to him even if he's not in the mood, and one person who has always promised to be by his side no matter what's going on. It’s Jumin Han. Jumin reads to him when he visits, he tells him about what he's learned that day, he tells him a lot... anything he could think of to help. Jumin isn't the best at being comforting, he always judges if what he's saying is right, but he can't do nothing when Jihyun needs him.

I sincerely think one of the reasons why V was able to get through the brunt of his Hospital stay has to do with the fact Jumin was there for him. Jumin refused to let his best friend be alone. He was the one who told Jihyun to make things right with his mother, and he knows that no matter how difficult things were in the end, that woman was everything to Jihyun. His Mother was a kind woman, and she loved her son more than anything... enough to give her life for his. That's a sacrifice Jumin understands on some level.

It's the kind of familial love he's always read about in books because he isn't getting love at home.

Not that you should be willing to throw your life on the line at every corner for your loved one, but there is something to be said about the willingness to jump in the line of fire to protect somebody you care about in the heat of the moment. I don't know if the two ever communicated with each other about this at length, in fact, I have a feeling they didn't, but—I do believe Jumin had it in his heart that he needed to be there for Jihyun because that’s what his mother would’ve wanted.

She didn’t want her son to be alone.

He is a family-oriented person, and I know he always tries to see the best in someone's family, including his, even if it's not easy. He is the one who tries to reach out to Mr. Kim... even as they're adults. Jumin can't help but want better for V's family. It's just like how he wants his family to be better as well.

But, I know that no amount of Jumin talking to Mr. Kim would make him visit his son more… and Jumin did what he could for his friend back then.

I've always had this mental image of V laying face down in his hospital bed and Jumin sitting by his bedside, reading a book to him as the soft hum of cicadas and heart monitor beats linger between them. It's not perfect, not by any means, but they're together and that counts.

#mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #mysme #mysticmessenger #mm #jihyun kim #kim jihyun #jumin han #han jumin #v jihyun kim #erebatos #character analysis

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linkemon · 2 months

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W(h)ine (V/Kim Jihyun x Reader)

Friendly reminder that English is not my first language. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here. Consider supporting me on Ko-fi. You can also check out my commissions if you’re interested.

Other oneshots can be found here.

"ꜱʜᴇ ꜰᴏᴄᴜꜱᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʟᴏᴡᴇʀꜱ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʟᴀꜱꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡɪɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛꜱɪᴅᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴇᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪᴛ ꜱᴇᴇᴍᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀꜰꜰᴏᴅɪʟꜱ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʙᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ. — ᴄʜᴇᴇʀꜱ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ… ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ… ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ʟɪꜰᴇ… ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ꜱᴏ ʜᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴠᴇ. — ꜱʜᴇ ʀᴀɪꜱᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ɢʟᴀꜱꜱ."

ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ: 1. ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜᴏᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ ᴀ ꜱᴘᴏɪʟᴇʀ ꜰᴏʀ ɪ ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ ᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ.

"ᴀ ʟᴇꜱꜱᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴘᴀɪɴ ɪꜱ ᴍᴇᴀɴɪɴɢʟᴇꜱꜱ. ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ɢᴀɪɴ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ꜱᴀᴄʀɪꜰɪᴄɪɴɢ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴇʟꜱᴇ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀᴄᴏᴍᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ɪᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ…ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ɢᴀɪɴ ᴀɴ ɪʀʀᴇᴘʟᴀᴄᴇᴀʙʟᴇ ꜰᴜʟʟᴍᴇᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ." ꜰᴜʟʟᴍᴇᴛᴀʟ ᴀʟᴄʜᴇᴍɪꜱᴛ: ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀʜᴏᴏᴅ

— Focus. — [Reader] slapped her cheeks lightly.

She sincerely hoped no one had seen her at that moment.

Once again that day, she was nervously fixing her hair and examining her new dress. She hoped Jihyun would like it. She felt nervous and determined at the same time.

Smoothing out the tiny wrinkles in the fabric, she tried to gather her courage and form the right words in her head. It felt like ages before she made her decision.

Now, however, quite calm, she entered the cafe with a smile on her face, searching for blue hair. She wanted to have it all over with.

To her surprise, a blond-haired woman was sitting next to the tall photographer.

— I'm Rika. — The stranger held out her hand.

The woman accepted it hesitantly.

She had to resign that day but she believed that she would still find an opportunity to confess her feelings.

***

[Reader] was intoxicated. She definitely overdid the wine. From time to time, her loud laughter could be heard in Jumin's apartment, scaring away Elizabeth The 3rd.

— I have a toast to propose — V announced, rising solemnly from the couch.

The woman was sure that nothing could spoil her good mood that evening.

— Rika and I are engaged.

She almost spilled the red liquid on the carpet.

— Congratulations! — Jumin nodded.

There was no denying that the head of C&R accepted it with his typical stoic calm. Perhaps he had been anticipating this moment for some time.

[Reader] stared blankly into her glass, trying to digest the information once again. Her head was buzzing and putting her thoughts together was very difficult. Therefore, pretending to be enthusiastic was rather bad.

It started with an innocent tear rolling down my cheek. But before she knew it, she was roaring loudly, sniffling. She didn't look pretty at all, being drunk and snotty. Fortunately, the photographer handed her some tissues from the nearest table. He was afraid that if the woman started reaching for them herself, she would end up falling.

— Everything's all right?

Something inside her screamed to lie to his face. She couldn't imagine telling him the truth. In the current situation, her confession would only complicate their relationship.

— It is okay. I just fell apart because — she took a ragged breath — I'm still alone. Don't get me wrong, Jihyun. I'm very happy but I'm just a little envious of you.

She blew her chance a long time ago.

— I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen. — She got up. — I'll go fix my mascara, it's probably smudged. — She staggered towards the bathroom.

She glanced in the mirror, realizing she hadn't brought her makeup bag.

— My excuse sucks — she muttered. — I didn't even wear make-up today...

***

The woman couldn't stop her hands from shaking as she searched through the vast purse.

It felt like everyone passing her in the park was laughing at her lack of self-control.

Staring at the smartphone screen, she dialed Yoosung's number. She knew that if she looked at V, her efforts would be in vain.

— [Reader]-ah, don't call him.

— How? How can I hide all this from him? Can you hear yourself? Haven't you seen him suffer?

It hadn't been long since she found out that the photographer was going blind because of Rika. Meanwhile, she learned more secrets. Her friend's would-be fiancée did not commit suicide and intended to found a religious cult. As if that wasn't enough, she used Saeran — Luciel's brother — for this purpose. Almost no one at RFA knew of its existence.

Jihyun reached for the phone but did not disconnect the call. He placed his hand on her shoulder, as he did when calming others down.

— I know he's been through a lot but think how dangerous it is for everyone in the organization. The very fact that you found out carries a risk.

— You wouldn't have told me anything if you didn't need my help — she said reproachfully. — How will you manage to keep it all a secret? They will hate you...

— Noona, nice of you to call. — The voice suddenly came over the loudspeaker.

She carelessly looked up at her broken friend and knew that she would not be brave enough to tell the truth to the youngest member of the organization.

— Sorry, I dialed the wrong number. — She laughed as much as she could. — We'll talk another time. — She pressed the red button.

She didn't know what she should say or do. It was hard to find the right words, especially after being asked to be discreet. She also couldn't imagine physically trying to penetrate Magenta like V wanted to do.

His love was enormous but unhealthy and destructive.

Everything was complicated.

— I'll help you. — She hugged the man. — Just promise, no more secrets.

***

— We're drinking wine again, again in the same apartment, again on the same couch…— [Reader] said, sipping the dark red liquid.

She felt her melancholic mood take over.

— It's just a pity that our group has become smaller — added Jumin, gently stroking the snow-white cat.

The woman tried to remember the times when the photographer actually took part in meetings. However, it seemed very distant. Especially when she realized that at this point he was probably hanging around a cult among mentally ill people. As if it wasn't enough that he was losing his sight.

— Holy shit, I'm worried about him — she blurted out, knowing there was nothing more she could say.

— I ask you to refrain from saying such words in front of Elizabeth The 3rd.

— You're right, I'm sorry. — She sighed, finishing her glass.

***

[Reader] managed to get used to the idea that Jihyun Kim's love will never be hers. Ironically, that was when death took him completely from her life.

— V was always consistent and reliable. He was my role model — Jaehee said.

— He was a good friend, teacher and mirror of truth — Jumin said.

— A warm, honest person who gave me a new family — Zen added.

Everything said in the past tense. As if they needed to be reminded emphatically that he was not with them.

But isn't that what funerals are for?

— I hated him... but I forgive him — Yoosung said.

She wanted to shout the truth to the youngest member of RFA. She wanted to tell him loudly and clearly that Jihyun did not commit suicide and that Rika was to blame for everything. After all, not directly but she was the one who killed him.

But she didn't say anything. She had no right to make him suffer any more.

— Don't be lonely there. Don't try to save anyone. Live selfishly. — Saeyoung raised his eyes upwards.

Maybe as a Baptist he has already seen a photographer in another place?

— Goodbye, V.

— I will never forgive you for leaving alone.

— Excuse me for a moment.

— Yoosung?

— I think he needs some time to himself. Let's leave him.

— People love, hate, kill... and then love again.

— Don't play philosopher again. I feel like my brain is failing.

— Are you sure we can leave Yoosung alone?

— He'll be fine. I know how he feels.

[Reader] heard the entire conversation but was unable to match the sentences to the people. She still had the feeling that the funeral was somewhere beyond her consciousness. It takes place but soon life will return to normal and she will see Jihyun surrounded by his friends again.

She moved away from the mourners, heading towards the blonde.

— Rika-noona... You'll get cold standing here. You're really not going to say anything now? I should be happy that you're still alive, and yet... I feel so strange when you don't say anything. Everything is going wrong. I would never have thought... that V would commit suicide. When I see all this, it's so hard to hold back my tears. I hated him but now I'm not sure about anything. God, Rika, say something. Do you think V really loved you? Did he really love and try to protect us?

[Reader] glanced at the woman's unnaturally calm face.

— Sun... — A quiet, strange voice, not fitting for its owner.

— Could you repeat it? — the boy asked, confused.

— Sun.

— What are you talking about...

— I kept my promise V. I'm here — Rika whispered, her eyes sparkling with joy.

***

[Reader] sat alone by the large window in the almost empty apartment.

The corkscrew and bottle lay sadly next to her.

Drinking alone had never seemed pleasant to her.

Seoul was just welcoming the first day of spring. The woman thought that the event coincided perfectly with her moving out. The company managed to collect all the boxes and furniture and she said to goodbyes to all RFA members. A perfect time to start over.

She focused on the flowers behind the glass. There was no wind outside and yet for a moment it seemed to her that the daffodils were bending.

— Cheers to you... if you're really up there... and to my life... because without you it's so hard to live. — She raised her glass.

#jihyun kim x reader #v x reader #mystic messenger x reader #mystic messenger #oneshot x reader #yoosung #rika #han jumin #saeyoung choi #zen

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onlinekitsune · 2 years

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Reactions to MC confessing their feelings first ◛ ♥︎

tis the season for writing sweet confessions!!! i just wanted an excuse to write some cute stuff with some of the mysmes characters! might include a tad bit of angst but it’s worth it i promise!! also some minor route spoilers, nothing direct

JAEHEE KANG ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

honestly was pretty hesitant to give an answer, not because she didn’t like you, but because she was completely enamored by you, was so shocked about her feelings and how you made her feel, it was a good feeling but so very new, after thinking on it she said yes, she didn’t want to lose you nor this feeling, she was a bit intimidated and timid about dating, but knew with you she’d be okay, she’d apologize for her delayed answer by gifting you flowers on your first date, you couldn’t help but noticed how bright she was with you

JUMIN HAN ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

being a ceo of a multibillion dollar company it wasn’t odd to be confessed to, jumin had grown used to it and thought of them to be annoyances, however when you confessed and asked him on a date it was so very different, jumin couldn’t recall the other confessions leaving him this way, his heart fluttered and he felt the heat rise from his collar, the way your voice sounded saying his name echoed in his head, he was stunned and was lost in his thoughts, when you tilted your head he snapped back and immediately said yes, he planned your date for that very night

SAERAN CHOI ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

thoroughly convinced that this was a dream, but after blinking three times you still were stood there smiling, his heart ached, on one hand he loved you dearly, you made him incredibly happy and made his world blossom, on the other he was still dealing with the guilt, he dragged you into a not so pleasant situation, that could of gone incredibly wrong, he didn’t deserve you, you knew him too well to know what was going on in his head, you added reassurance that you wanted to be with him and what happened was more complicated than what he thought, sorting out he feelings he decided on a yes, he wanted to make it up to you

SAEYOUNG CHOI ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

when you confessed to him, he couldn’t help but to laugh and give you a little pout, he was planning to confess to you first, and was a little upset (in a funny/not serious way) that you done it first, accepted but pestered you to let him plan the date since you “ruined” his confession, he made sure the date was very dramatic and as extravagant as he could make it, it was clear on how much you meant to him just by that alone

V / KIM JIHYUN ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

half surprised half filled with guilt, after everything that has happened he was convinced that he wasn’t worthy of love, but after meeting you, after getting closer to you he couldn’t help but fall hard for you, he admitted his mutual feelings but shared his feelings that he didn’t feel worthy enough, you of course told him he was absolutely worthy, you didn’t want anyone else, you wanted to show him what true love really was, and you did, he didn’t know how freeing and beautiful true love actually was

YOOSUNG KIM ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

he couldn’t believe it, you actually shared the same feelings as him, it was like a miracle or a blessing, you couldn’t imagine someone who had more of a golden retriever energy than yoosung at that moment, you could almost see his imaginary tail wagging at incredible speed, he was very excited and eagerly wanted to plan your first date asap, would be the type to plaster the date you asked him everywhere he could, also would brag to the chat immediately, even though everyone but him had seen it coming

ZEN / HYUN RYU ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

two words: reverse uno, it was quite ironic that you two confessed at the same time, but it was exactly on brand for the two of you, you both laughed it over and obviously said yes, it was a no brainer for either of you, you both brought out the brightest sides of each other, you two were bound to be together, soulmates one could say, zen would love to tell anyone who asked about how you two goth together, he thought the both of you confessing at the same time was incredibly adorable, you couldn’t help but agree

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honey-buddha-kiss · 2 years

Text

HC’s on how the RFA & Saeran would react to MC being a fashion designer/someone who loves to sew

Kim Jihyun (V):

his mc wanted to challenge themselves by sketching out styles they usually didn’t use

they were thinking about nice and calm colors, but didn’t know how to get it on paper

they remembered v used to paint and asked him if he could teach them how to use watercolor

he was a little hesitant at first because he thought a professional would be better for them, but they insisted

during his break from selling his work, he’d be one of the many photographers taking pictures at mc’s fashion shows

FRONT ROW SEATS

he offered to be the photographer for some of mc’s photoshoots and the pictures he takes often make it to the cover page

let’s face it, he’s a genius

all of the models in mc’s fashion house that have worked with v have all said it was a great experience

mc is eternally grateful for his help

“Oh my gosh, Jihyun thank you so much. I love you I love you I love you” ;u;

sometimes he recites random poems to help mc think of new designs

he feels inspired by mc’s works and vice versa

they keep each other motivated during /artists/ block lol

Han Jumin:

mc had been quite busy lately and their maid had caught a cold

he had jaehee hire a temporary maid that would come the next day

so that evening, he was putting his and mc’s clothes away, but noticed mc didn’t have any tags on their clothes

he confronted mc when they got home and asked if they’d like the tags cut off for them whenever they got new clothes

for a moment mc was confused, but laughed and shook their head, telling him that they sew their own clothes

“Wait, then what about that dress you wore to the company party last month? I didn’t buy that one for you.”

“I made it myself.”

how had he not seen mc’s name in the list of the best designers he was given?????

makes mc his personal tailor

probably has them make Elizabeth 3rd clothes too

like cute little bows, booties, and dresses

mc even made the three of them matching outfits and they honestly looked like an adorable family omg /clenches heart/

“MC, how do you feel about creating a whole clothing line for cats?”

when he picked up cross-stitching as a hobby, he asked mc for advice

mc personally put the threads through the needles he planned to use

Kang Jaehee:

a bit surprised since around her, mc is always wearing casual, comfy clothes

she imagined designers dressing either formal and professionally or bold and colorful

sorry mc looked like a plain regular person like everybody else

mc does little things like repairing buttons and stitching up tears in her business attire and it just Warms. Her. Heart.

mc actually teaches jaehee the basics and they have fun sewing stuff together during their free-time

eventually when jaehee opens a café, mc surprises her with a bunch of wrapped gifts at the grand opening

flowers are overrated sorry

the boxes had table cloths, cleaning rags, oven mittens, aprons, curtains, and so much more all made by mc themselves

this darling almost cried

when did mc even have the spare time to sew all of these

it must’ve taken up so much time and energy

is forever grateful for the wonderful gift and all of mc’s hard work

Ryu Hyun (Zen):

one time he asked if they could design the costumes for one of the musicals he was starring in

the two of them would bounce off numerous ideas with one another, so the sketching phase wasn’t as stressful

he even tried sketching out a few designs himself

they had a bit of trouble choosing between ten, yes ten, different outfits because he LOOKS GOOD IN EVERYTHING

“Can’t you just wear all of them.”

“It’ll take too much time to change between scenes, plus the character doesn’t wear that many different outfits in this play. I’d love to wear all your designs though.”

zen wears the ones he doesn’t use in the musical, at home lol

not that mc minds tho cuz eye candy

he felt jealous when his mc had to take the other actors’ measurements and when they had costume fittings

he couldn’t help it. those guys were too close to them for his liking

he didn’t say anything about it, although he did get a little more clingy

enjoys being mc’s “mannequin” for sewing projects

“You can use me as your model any time!”

Choi Saeyoung (707):

he found out it was their career when he did the background check

would totally ask mc to sew outfits for cosplaying and his missions

when he notices mc stressing because of deadlines, he gives them silly and ridiculous ideas to make them laugh

is really helpful when mc needs to make important presentations for team meetings

he drew a few sketches in crayon and slipped them into one of mc’s folders lololol

at mc’s workplace, they were having a bad day and ended up bumping into one of their coworkers

mc happened to be holding some folders and a few of saeyoung’s sketches fell out

bending down to pick them back up, mc felt a smile tug at the corner of their lips

“Choi Saeyoung.”

uh oh mc’s holding his drawings and he panics

“MC, I’m so sorry. I was just joking around and-”

“Thank you.”

"What?"

HUGSSSSSSSSSSS and mc snuggles their face into his chest

O///////////O

error error Agent 707 has shut down

Choi Saeran:

one day, mc dragged him along with them to go out shopping for fabrics, threads, and all that

all the big bulks of fabric were making his nose itchy, but he didn’t mind if he was able to see mc happy

the elder ladies often pointed out how cute the two of them looked together and even teased them, asking when he was planning to propose

gaaaaah we’re just here to buy fabric

this precious marshmallow had this loving look in his eyes the entire time as he watched his precious squishy mc ramble on and on about different types of fabric, patterns, and colors

they sounded so cute and that little twinkle in their eyes had his heart racing

mc gave him a handkerchief as a gift before

it was a simple, white handkerchief with his initials and his favorite flower embroidered on one of the corners

it’s very special to him and he always makes sure not a single speck of dirt gets on it

Kim Yoosung:

when he finds out that mc is a famous designer, he starts to feel a little bit self-conscious about what he wears

he even debates on how he should style his hair, but mc reassures him that he looks fine just the way he is

when he doesn’t know if an outfit looks good or if he doesn’t know what to wear, he’d ask mc for advice

he loves it when they give him clothes that they had sewn as gifts

asks if mc could teach him how to sew and they start with hand-sewing

their apartment feels like a home ec class lmao

mc suggests they should start with sewing machines next

but yoosung's like nOPE sewing machines are for Professionals

tbh he’s just scared he might end up sewing his shirt and the fabric together and getting stuck

this little squish tried sewing a puppy stuffed animal for mc, but it turned out a little misshapen

he was too embarrassed to give it to them and hid it somewhere, but of course mc found it by accident and asked him what it was

he had no choice but to tell the truth. curse his luck hdhjshdj

mc thanks him and kisses him on the cheek

they now sleep with it whenever they go to bed, which makes yoosung kind of jealous lol

“MC why don’t you cuddle me instead?”

#mysme headcanons #mystic messenger headcanons #kim jihyun #han jumin #kang jaehee #ryu hyun #choi saeyoung #choi saeran #kim yoosung #mysme #mystic messenger #mysme hcs #mystic messenger hcs

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shxtodxroki · 11 months

Text

V (Jihyun Kim) Masterlist

Here is where you will find all of my writing for Jihyun! I hope you enjoy, and if you like these feel free to drop a request in my inbox at any time! <3

♡ Imagines ♡

- Simple Pleasures

You’re cuddling with Jihyun, but he’s oddly quiet, as if he’s listening to something specific. And when you eventually ask why, you learn about your boyfriend’s biggest joy in life (aside from you, of course). (1.3k)

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xelasrecords · 1 year

Text

The Love We Live For

Kim Jihyun x MC x Han Jumin

Jihyun comes home injured so MC and Jumin fuss over him. MC's love for them is romantic and reciprocated, while Jihyun and Jumin's love is platonic. The idea for this came when I replayed Jihyun's route and realised I couldn't choose between them. I want to feel loved and admire their love. Everything else comes after. I hope this story will make you feel loved too.

Words: 4.3k

Masterlist Read on AO3 Moodboard

The evening saw her and Jumin lounging on Jihyun's couch, her bare feet on Jumin's lap, Jumin's head tipped back against the plush cushion. Her heart was thrumming with anticipation of Jihyun coming home today. It was the kind of yearning that one didn't realise one could have until the object of affection was gone. She welcomed the feeling without objection, for there had always been fondness between the three of them. And if hers developed into something more—equally yet differently—for the two men she always searched for in empty rooms and bustling crowds, it was not something she could control.

"Jumin, this is not the time to be sleeping." She nudged Jumin's side with her toes when his eyelids were drooping.

A few weeks had passed since Jihyun's departure for work, and instead of growing accustomed to his absence, they had grown to miss his presence. So when she asked Jumin to join her in welcoming their beloved friend at his home, Jumin accepted her offer in earnest. No one wanted to miss the opportunity; the right place at the right time couldn't come often enough for three people who lived vastly different lives.

Jumin closed his hand around her ankle, not bothering to open his eyes. It was a wonder that a touch so familiar could still send sparks up her veins. "Allow me to take a quick nap."

She was glad when he didn't move his hand away. "I don't think your best friend would like it when his surprise gift is a sleeping log."

"He doesn't have any expectations from me. He likes me always," Jumin said. "And I would make a sustainable log."

She sunk into the sea of throw pillows and made herself comfortable. "I'd process you into paper immediately."

Jumin peeked at her. "To write a heartfelt love letter proclaiming your feelings for me?"

"To revise your sleeping habits and make a better you." She cracked a grin. She liked how Jumin could flirt with her in a playful manner. He never revealed this side of him when there were others around. Of course, Jihyun was excluded from the grouping. He was not other people to them.

"You only need to turn to Jihyun for that," Jumin said after a moment. "He is the better part of me. His kindness is what makes me who I am. I wouldn't be sitting with you here if he never influenced this acceptance into me."

"Then who are you to him?" The first button of Jumin's white shirt was undone, revealing the slope of his throat that ran down to the base of his collarbones, but she fought to train her eyes on his face.

"His conscience. I think he looks to me as some kind of moral compass. He's always apologetic for the things he hasn't done enough. He doesn't think about what he has done, only what he hasn't. I'd like to believe that I lessen his burden by having faith in him."

"Do you ever wonder if that faith is misplaced?" There was no judgement in her voice, just curiosity. She could never tire of listening to how much Jihyun meant to Jumin. Jumin was at his tenderest when he spoke about his friend, the one soul that he could recognise from afar and would not let go no matter the circumstance.

"It wouldn't be faith if I doubted my belief in him," Jumin stated like it was a fact known to all. "It's how I believe in you too."

"I don't think I look at you like you're my guiding star."

He lifted his head to face her. "Quite the opposite. I believe in you because you possess a good sense independent of anyone's opinion, a sense that sometimes I lose, and you care for Jihyun like no other. That's enough to tell how trustworthy you are."

"I care for Jihyun like I care for you," she said softly. "There's no one I'd rather be here with than you. Your company means more to me than you can imagine."

Jumin smiled at her. "I know."

She was about to reply when they were interrupted by a click at the door. Immediately, she and Jumin rose from the couch, him gently putting her legs away and her shoving the pillows aside to get to her feet.

It was Jihyun. It was Jihyun who trudged in with a camera slung around his neck. It was Jihyun with a face peppered with scratches and bruises and ragged clothes stained with dirt.

She stopped short before him, her initial joy upon seeing him twisted into horror. One glance at Jumin's stricken face confirmed that his feelings mirrored hers, his clamped fists turning white at his sides.

Jihyun was just as astounded to see them. He turned his head away as if to hide the scars on his cheek, but she slowly tilted his jaw back to her, the other hand hovering over a blooming bruise. "What happened?" she breathed out.

Jihyun gave them a rueful smile, eyes darting from her concerned expression to Jumin's terse form. "I didn't know that you two would be here."

"We need to get you to the hospital right away," Jumin said, his tone urgent.

"It's only a light injury, Jumin. No need to call the doctors. I didn't hit my head and there are no open wounds, see?" Jihyun widened his arms. After a quick scan and her experience of tending to his worse wounds, she could tell that he was telling the truth. It relaxed her a bit.

But his comment seemed to shake Jumin out of his shock and shifted his mood into annoyance. "Oh, I have seen light, and this is not light."

"It's deep purple—the bruise, I mean," she commented helpfully.

"Thank you for your observation," Jumin deadpanned. "He should paint his next artwork with that colour."

"Dark violet would be a nice shade to paint with," Jihyun mulled.

Jumin shot him a reprimanding look and helped him shrug off his coat. Slowly, Jumin got Jihyun's arms out of the sleeves, cautious not to let the fabric scrape against the cuts on the skin. No matter how angry Jumin was at him, he would never use aggression to handle him. It was another thing that she liked about Jumin.

Jihyun, however, wasn't exactly likeable at the moment. She was relieved that he didn't need urgent care, but she shared Jumin's displeasure. A nagging suspicion crept up when she noticed the guilt darkening Jihyun's expression.

"Did you do something stupid?" she asked.

"It's in poor fashion to assume he's the perpetrator when he could've been the victim," commented Jumin.

"It wasn't something stupid." Jihyun seemed as innocent as he could be, but she could see through his distractingly angelic face, the battered face that sent a fresh sharp pang to her heart whenever she examined it. "I was trying to take a photograph of a flower growing on a high wall when I slipped."

Jumin dropped the dirty coat that he'd folded and stared at Jihyun. "I take it back. You are an idiot. Did you not check for your safety before you put yourself in a precarious position?"

"He wouldn't be in this state if he did," she muttered.

Jumin bent down to pick up the coat. "You have been very helpful tonight."

"Sarcasm from a handsome brooding man, just how I like it." She winked, trying to make light of the situation. Jihyun had been through worse, so this was fine. This was manageable. There were no serious injuries, so self-treatment would be enough. They could head to the hospital the next day if they really had to. "Now I'm about to be even more helpful. Pretend to be surprised, Jumin."

But it appeared that Jihyun could sense her underlying anxiety. He touched her forearm and offered a reassuring smile while nodding his head once, silently encouraging her to do what she had planned. She pressed her lips into a tight smile and placed a hand on his back, guiding him to the couch. She could feel Jumin's gaze burning the back of her head, but she ignored it. Better for him to be irked than incapacitated with terror.

Jumin sighed and stalked off to another room, presumably in search of the first aid kit. In this house, nothing ever stayed at its original place. Jumin often brought it up as a complaint and had attempted to stage an intervention for it, but she didn't mind if Jihyun did not. She found Jumin fussing about and Jihyun watching him in resignation rather endearing.

Once she cleared the throw pillows from the couch, Jihyun took her hand and brought her down to sit beside him. "I didn't want you and Jumin to know," he said.

"I know."

"I didn't want you to be worried about me."

"I know that too." She took his camera off his neck and placed it on the table. "But we'll worry nonetheless. Partly because you're always up to questionable things but mostly because you're our friend. You can't expect us to be happy all the time when that isn't humanly possible."

Jihyun pushed aside the strands of mint hair that fell over his matching-coloured eyes. "I'm afraid that I'm a burden to you and Jumin."

"Do you think it's a burden to love?" She briefly wondered how it would feel to thread through his hair but quickly banished the thought. This was not the time.

"To love me?"

"For you to love someone," she clarified. "Me. Jumin."

A small, disbelieving laugh slipped past Jihyun. "How could I, when I've known how warm it feels? I feel it when I see you and Jumin, and I feel it from the two of you. It's like the three of us are running on the same wavelength." He met her unwavering gaze. "I would do anything for a chance of your happiness even if it's the most laborious and harmful task, and I wouldn't think of it as a task. It'd be the easiest thing to do in the world because it's not something I'd have to choose. I would just do it."

The edges of her mouth curled into a small smile. "Helping you isn't something we have to choose either. When you love someone, sometimes you've got to let them do a little more work when you can't. Love is not about giving until you break yourself. You need to refill your vessel by receiving love too. We're here with you, so stop driving us away." She arranged a pillow on the couch before sliding to the floor. "Come, lie down. I bet you're tired. You drove on your own, didn't you?"

Jihyun gave her another apologetic smile but obeyed her request without protest. Jumin's footsteps echoed behind her—footsteps that she had become familiar with from the many times they slept over at each other's houses, how he always took long, steady strides like he had a place to be. Jumin swerved his body away from her as he passed by, carrying a large bowl filled with water in one hand and a first aid kit in the other while she shifted to give him space.

He set down the bowl on the table, water swishing inside. "Jihyun, you need to let me call someone to organise your home. Did you know where I found this?" Jumin rattled the first aid kit. "In the cereal cabinet. What on earth was it doing there?"

She craned her neck to look at Jumin. Though his shoulders were slumped from exhaustion, there was still an air of authority about him. "I heard you could use iodine as a replacement for milk. It'd look like blood and tempt the modern vampires from the book you read," she paused, thinking. "But you have to consider its texture. It's not thick enough to be confused with blood."

Jumin looked at her with newfound fascination, his irritation temporarily forgotten. "That's an interesting observation. Iodine smells like iron, so there's a chance that they could be fooled. I must tell Assistant Kang to retrieve some samples and test them out later."

Beside her, Jihyun leaned across to her ear and whispered, "Should we stop him?"

She snorted. "Maybe I could be your test subject, Jumin. Who knows? I might be a vampire, or it might turn me into one."

"Not now, then," Jihyun said under his breath and reclined to his previous position.

Jumin brandished the bottle of iodine from the kit and examined it with utmost curiosity. "According to the book, you'd have to be bitten to be one."

"Please," Jihyun cut in. "I merely wanted to take out the cereal but I forgot and shelved the kit instead."

Jumin deflated with disappointment. "So you were hungry and bleeding?"

"I understand." She raised her hand empathically. "I get that once a month."

"If it helps, I'm still bleeding now," Jihyun offered.

"Right." She arranged herself into a kneel and squeezed out water from the floating cloth in the water bowl.

The water was warm as it dripped down her elbow. She gently rubbed the cloth over Jihyun's face, cleaning it of the dirt that smeared across his jaw. He smelled like it too, she thought as she plucked a twig out of his mint-coloured hair. It might have been a small accident, but how many more small accidents should occur until they amounted to fatal destruction?

When she reached his split lip, she hesitated. Dry blood had crusted around the cut, but fresh blood was pooling again; it must have cracked when he talked. She was regretting how she couldn't be there for him when he lowered her wrist just enough to see her without the cloth obstructing his view. "It's all right, take your time. It doesn't hurt as much as it looks," he encouraged.

It was as if he could read her mind.

She nodded in what she hoped was a reassuring manner. "This may sting a bit," she warned before wiping the blood away. She was conscious of her movement and his breath fanning the back of her hand, the softness of his lips despite the injury. It was the closest she had ever got to it.

She was also aware of Jumin's presence beside her, who had sat on the floor with her to clean the cuts on Jihyun's arms, her shoulder occasionally brushing Jumin's. She could feel his eyes flitting from Jihyun to her when he thought she didn't notice, but was there any chance that she would not? It was almost impossible not to bristle under his intense stare studying her actions and reactions. She bit her lip and tried to concentrate on her duty at hand.

Jihyun cleared his throat. "I know I said that I felt bad for making you two help me earlier, but if I'm being honest, I'm also relieved that I don't have to do this alone." He smiled apologetically at both of them. "Thank you."

Jumin halted his ministration and looked up at Jihyun. "How many times do we have to tell you that you're not alone? Even when we're not here, you can always call us and we'll come in a heartbeat. Or I can call in a house doctor for you if you prefer. You simply need to ask." Jumin stared at the bandage that he just patched on Jihyun's arm. "Or don't ask, but I would do it regardless."

"Asking for help is harder than believing I would receive one," admitted Jihyun. "I know that you would come to my aid. You always have, but letting myself be weak has never been my strong suit."

"If it is reassurance that you need, then I will give it to you: being weak is not wrong," Jumin said, a hard edge in his voice. "What's wrong is putting yourself in dangerous situations for the sake of art. I worry that your pursuit of it is making you self-destructive. Is there no other healthier way to do it?" The gauze in his hand was trembling—from frustration and desperation, she guessed.

Alarmed, Jihyun pushed himself up and leaned towards his friend. "I'm surprised you're in this much distress, Jumin."

She felt compelled to comfort them, but she knew soothing words would not fix anything. The two men, the only men she could love this much, had to come to an agreement themselves. Jihyun always put every other thing before his health and Jumin was always worried about him. No one meant harm, but it did not mean no harm came to them.

Jumin shook his head in disbelief. "How can I not be? She and you are all I have. What if someday you do something so foolishly dangerous that you—"

"No!" Jihyun exclaimed, shocking both of them. "That won't happen." He grasped at Jumin's hand, the gauze falling to the floor. She had never seen such an intense display of emotions between them. "You forget that I love you. You're my best friend and I won't leave you for a temporary thrill. Art may provide me respite, but hurting you would scar me forever. It's not a line that I dare to cross."

"You're famous for blurring the line of death."

"Not this time. I know I'm selfish for this, but when I imagine toeing the line over and over until I've done irreversible damage to you, I shatter inside. I don't think I could live with myself if that happens. It is difficult enough to live with myself as I am."

"Then I would live for you." Jumin's eyes blazed with righteous rage. "What is it that you think I have been doing this whole time? I forgive you so you can find it in you to forgive yourself. I stand by you through everything because I believe you are good when you fail to see why, which is always, but I can't stand it when you promise one thing for my sake and do another behind my back."

"I won't—"

"Don't," Jumin warned, "make another empty promise."

"Jumin, no." Jihyun's tone was pleading. "That was before."

At once, she and Jumin understood what Jihyun meant. For Jumin and Jihyun, there was only before she came into their lives, and after, when everything fell into clear focus. Jihyun turned to her, reaching out to touch her face, and she drew closer instinctively. "The sight of you heartbroken isn't something that I ever want to see." His voice was barely a whisper.

Everyone held still. They never saw her as an intruder to their friendship; she was the missing key that locked their bond together. It felt right to be three, or they would spend their time constantly wondering how the missing one was doing. Jihyun's honesty was a surprise to her though—she didn't think he could have faith in how deep her feelings ran for him, and in turn, did not want to betray her heart because he cared about her just as much. She had thought that treatment was reserved for Jumin.

"It's fine to do the things you're passionate about," she finally said, dimly aware that her fingers had pruned under the wet cloth she was clutching. "You'll fall sometimes. That happens when you hit the ground running. Only don't disregard your safety completely, and rely on us when you need to. That's how you can keep my heart."

A small smile played on Jihyun's lips. "I will try."

She smiled back and turned to Jumin, only to have him already regarding her with such tenderness that made her feel like folding into herself. She knew what he was trying to convey—thank you for looking after my friend, thank you for telling him he's fine the way he is, thank you for loving him. And the most palpable of all, thank you for being here with me.

But she hadn't done anything grand. It was simply a love she couldn't hold back from spilling at the brim. Both Jumin and Jihyun came with their own set of irritabilities, but they were easy to love. Where else could she find a love that stayed up with her because they loved the person she loved, a love that was willing to kneel on the floor with her until their legs went numb because someone she loved was in more pain? It was the kind of love where she didn't have to explain herself because there was nothing to explain, because they would understand her or strive to do so without judgement.

She would not give it up for anything.

Jumin, gentle eyes still on her, switched out the cloth from her hand with an ointment. "How much scrubbing are you trying to do to him? You're flooding the floor." He bent down and used the cloth to wipe the water pooling before her knees, his knuckle skimming her skin, a contact that sent a pleasant shiver through her body.

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, silent gratitude for what he had said to Jihyun. There was love in Jumin's words. She could hear it as she could read it in her own actions, as Jihyun could feel it through their care. They loved each other so, so much, and she knew that if they were offered a chance to find a better friend, none of them would have taken it. No one was like the two men, and no one was like her.

Jumin tilted his head up to her and nodded with a smile. With Jumin, it was always the words unsaid that spoke the most volume.

"She could polish me until I'm shiny," suggested Jihyun.

Jumin straightened his back. "That's impossible. You're not a statue."

She shrugged. "He looks like one."

"Oh no, that can't be." Jihyun waved it away. "Jumin is more handsome than me."

She took a swab of the ointment and applied it generously to Jihyun's bruising cheek. "All right, if you're going to be humble, then I'll proudly announce myself as the most beautiful one here."

"While that is true, I didn't say I was going to be modest," Jumin jumped in.

She opened the iodine's cap, the strong biting smell stinging her nose, and dabbed it on the cuts on Jihyun's forehead and chin before covering them with bandages. "But you did agree that I'm the best, so no point in making a point of your handsomeness now."

"She's right, you know," Jihyun said.

Jumin grunted and stood up, apparently done with his help. "Why do you always pick her side over mine?"

Jihyun grinned. "Just following my heart."

She patted his shoulder after she finished applying salve to his split lip. "You're all patched up. Just be careful for the next few days."

"Forever," Jumin corrected.

"You two are incorrigible." Jihyun laughed and shook his head. It was a lilting, melodious sound that she never wanted to lose from memory. "I will be more careful in the future. Please believe me this time."

She and Jumin shared a look. His steady belief in Jihyun did seem to strengthen Jihyun's resolve in himself. She knew the change would not be instantaneous, but the fact that he listened already spoke a lot about his usually obstinate character. How could one affect another so greatly? She saw her wonder reflected in Jumin's expression.

"I'll believe you," she said.

"So will I," said Jumin. "Since we have toiled into the night for you, it would be appropriate to commemorate this moment. May I use your camera?"

Jihyun gestured at him good-naturedly while sitting up. "Go ahead. Just turn the setting to automatic."

She and Jihyun shared knowing looks and suppressed their giggles as they waited for Jumin who was busy tackling the buttons and adjusting the lens. Jumin's eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, occasionally looking through the viewfinder only to alter the settings again. Why he didn't ask Jihyun for help she couldn't fathom. Perhaps he wanted the satisfaction of succeeding in figuring it out alone.

Finally, he looked up with a smirk. "I'm all set. Do get into position now."

"You don't want to be in the picture?" she asked.

"I shall try to be Jihyun tonight. I'm eager to find out why he's willing to put his life on the line for this." Jumin gave Jihyun a pointed stare, which Jihyun returned with a wince.

She chuckled to herself, mesmerised by how easily Jumin could get annoyed by Jihyun's antics, and yet it was impossible to find another love as pure as theirs, and how they welcomed her with open arms. Now that she knew with whom she belonged, everywhere else felt foreign. In this friendship they had, she was not a trespasser and did not have to cross any line; there was never a line to begin with. They accepted her and loved her, as simple as that.

She settled into a relaxed pose, folding her legs into a cross while still sitting on the floor. She placed an elbow on top of Jihyun's knees and looked up at him, her chin in her palm. With a smile, he caressed her hair and placed his hand on her shoulder, angling his body close enough that her head could lay against his chest if she dared to.

Jumin watched them with patience and fondness. They were all happy at this moment—yes, yes, they were. It was almost more important that they could capture this present joy than the scene itself; if only feelings could be frozen and preserved. Was this the reason Jihyun took pictures? At the count of three, they both smiled into the camera and the flash went off.

The result?

It was not even a question worth asking.

Of course it was blurred.

Footnotes:

The theme of this story is becoming better because of the people you love. I know Jihyun is the type who can hurt himself even though it hurts his loved ones, but that's when he's at his worst with Rika. I'd like to think that surrounded by the right people, he could be influenced to be better. When I was younger, I thought it was impossible to be deeply changed by anyone and that it'd be a bad thing if we were, but I've learned that it isn't always. We can bring a good impact on others' lives too.

Hardest one to write yet because I'd never written about love this honest and fond before, but I had fun doing it although I wanted to scream whenever I got stuck articulating the feeling. The platonic side was easy, however, since it was my love for my best friend that I poured into Jumin and Jihyun. Sometimes I really do believe that our souls are intertwined—no one can see through me the way she can and vice versa, and I admire her for everything that she is. This is my love letter for her of sorts. I wouldn't be who I am without her.

Now I NEED to talk about the header. I thought it fitting to use paintings that feel intimate and vulnerable, and purposely didn't give MC any physical attributes to be more inclusive (fought the urge to project my characteristics to feel like the main character). MC has a painting of a red rose that stands out among 2 white roses because she brings colour to the twin soul best friends. Jumin has 2 silhouettes watching a lonely shadow go. Jihyun has a close-up of a man with bright brushstrokes looking out forlornly. The background is crimson red to match the intensity of their love. I literally cannot be chill I will think about everything this is how I have fun.

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myuntoldstory · 5 months

Note

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love! ❤️

aw, thanks jayne! i appreciate you sending this. i'm a little embarrassed about this, lol, since self-promotion is not really my thing. anyway, here are the fics in post order (oldest to newest):

bitter, beloved, rebellious (3.9k words, one-shot, complete)

“Only call me Mary when it’s important. Then I’ll listen to only you.” As the war escalates, Sirius faces a future vastly different from the one he didn't mind living in.

commentary: this is a favourite of mine because it's one of the fics that made me teary while writing it. 50% is because it's macblack/blackdonald. the other 50% is made up of everything else i felt while writing it, like existential fear, grief, loss, mourning, all those good things. like, i distinctly remember thinking about this story while waiting for a bus. imagine getting teary-eyed while waiting for a bus, jesus christ lol.

lento con gran espressione (before the end) (2.6k words, one-shot, complete)

"This was what peace felt like, this quiet moment with nothing but the rain, tea, and both of them wrapped in each other." 1979. James and Lily spend a quiet Halloween night at home.

commentary: this is a thematic sequel to the first ever fic i "officially" (because i have posted things way back, like 2004, dksfjldksfjdfls but i deleted them out of self-doubt) posted in a03/ffnet. i guess with this fic, i'm happy with my descriptions, how self-contained it is, and the cosiness of autumn that has that undercurrent of hopelessness because of jily's situation. (sorry wow lololol)

water of the womb (6.3k words, one-shot series, complete)

Coalescence: verb. come together to form one mass or whole. Divaricate: verb. stretch or spread apart; diverge widely This short series is an exploration of Andromeda Tonks and Narcissa Malfoy—the choices they have made and what led to these choices. In Coalescence, Narcissa's past and present combine, focusing on her ultimate choice in the Second Wizarding War. In Divaricate, Andromeda's choice has led her back to the past… but would she be able to reconcile with it?

commentary: sorry i cheated a bit with the series, but i can't really self-rec one without the other. happy with the cohesiveness of these two fics, how (i think) i managed to present the tenuous connection between andromeda and narcissa. i like how i ended it as well because it was realistic and right, i feel. i was also proud of how i wrote teddy lupin and the golden trio kids, i think.

sillage (2.1k words, one-shot, complete)

On the day before his exhibition opened, V finds MC staring up at his work with tears in her eyes. It was a reaction he never saw before. So he approached her to find out why.

commentary: i'm proud of this purely because i managed to wrangle the huge philosophical and metaphorical story that is kim jihyun's in mystic messenger. even now i still get confused by some of the metaphors in his storyline. but anyway this fic was during my (still ongoing) phase of "justice for jihyun kim". because why does everyone get forgiveness and love except him? and i'm still super salty about things like saeran's after end and finally getting a kiss cg but not during gameplay, but after the fact, like as the game's app intro cg like sldkjflsdj nah dude, i ain't taking that as a win.

carry on, carry on (1.6k words, one-shot, complete)

"So whatever happens. No matter what the future has in store for us. You carry on, Dromeda. You carry on." Andromeda learns of Ted's death.

commentary: i just read this right now and... holy fucking jesus christ why is it so sad??? ahahaha. and my end note is "i hope you enjoy". uh. wow, i'm so sorry to those who read this way back. i guess i'm sorry to those who might read this in the future also. again, i like how this is self-contained. i said in my end notes that i've developed a strong curiosity for off-camera moments. and that's still true. one of my prouder moments is the letter because in ffnet you couldn't strikethrough (i don't know if that's still true now); so with strikethrough being allowed in ao3, i could properly write the letter and bring to life ted's obvious mistakes (read: honesty) when writing his "last" letter to andromeda.

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sheepsdreamworld · 1 year

Text

~ MYSMES CMC CHARACTER PROFILE ~

Full Name: Min Eunjoo

Name Meaning:

- Min: Cleverness

- Eun: Kindness, mercy, charity

- Joo: Precious

Nickname(s) and Why:

- Eunie (a shortened version of 'Eunjoo' - originating as a typo of Saeyoung Choi whilst laughing so strongly at something said in the chatroom that his hands shook. The name briefly became a playful tease, until settling as a very affectionate nickname for her. It's used almost only by Yoosung, Saeyoung and Zen.)

- Candyhead (by Saeyoung, inspired by her curly, 'cotton-candy-like', hair)

Age: 19

Birthday: 20th December

Gender: Female

Romantic and Sexual Orientation: Heteroromantic, demi-heterosexual

Nationality: South Korean

Languages Spoken: Korean (native)

Occupation: Freshman at SKY University, majoring in music theory and composition, but petrified of the inevitable aspect of performance.

~ ♡ ~

Height: 152 cm (5ft)

Build: Small and thin; frail, almost.

Skin Tone: Fair

Features:

Eyes - Although tenderly pink in colour, it is important to note that their appearance is innately startling.

Whilst the right is clear, bright and focused, the left is faded, glassy, partially closed and entirely blind. It moves independently, unable to look in unison with the other - forever slightly 'off', and forever an unsettling, mismatched gaze.

Nose - Long and thin

Smile - Although awkward, it is endearing, and surprisingly contagious.

Ears - Round and slightly prominent in shape. They tend to turn very pink when in cold weather, or simply when embarrassed.

Hair - Eunjoo's hair is jaw-length, naturally white, and often likened to a cloud for her soft-looking ringlet curls and how they bounce around her head and face when she moves, almost in every way imaginable.

Posture - Often hunched and with her head ducked when moving, standing and even sitting. This is attributed to not only her meek and unassuming nature, but her strong anxiety of being gawked at and 'pointed out' as an oddity amongst peers.

Gait - Depending on mood or situation, her speed can vary between a slow yet light, comfortable pace and a quickened, very anxious glide.

Typical Attire:

A lover of pastel colours, soft materials and comfort, Eunjoo's entire closet consists of hoodies, sweaters, fleeces and jackets, all of which are either plain or with gentle patterns. She wears sweatpants and jeans from time to time, but most often likes to wear comfy shorts, and in every weather, even bitter winter. Saeyoung Choi questions the safety and well-being of her poor knobbly knees.

In autumn and winter, she searches her messy bedroom until she finds the woollen hats, scarves and gloves which always seem to go missing as soon as winter ends, and her trusty sneakers are replaced with her pair of age-old boots and her beloved long overcoat.

Accessories:

- A pair of large circular glasses she must always wear, no matter how annoying. She does like their design, however, white with a pink rim.

- A straw sunhat or canvas bucket hat for the summer or particularly bright days. She loves these hats.

~ ♡ ~

~ FAMILY ~

Mother - Lee Ailiseu

Relationship - Unknown, absent.

Father - Min Seohyun

Relationship - Close and loving, yet somehow detached by the ever-present wall of his ambition and devotion to his growing company.

~ NON-FAMILIAL RELATIONSHIPS ~

- Kim Yoosung (first friend and unknowingly, is his crush)

- Choi Saeyoung (so-called comedy partner)

- Zen / Ryu Hyun (brother figure)

- Kang Jaehee (mother figure)

- Han Jumin (good-natured advisor with a side mission to convince her that dogs are, in fact, mightily imperior to cats.)

- V / Kim Jihyun (compassionate supporter, yet oddly elusive...)

- Ray...? (charming...)

~ ♡ ~

~ PERSONALITY ~

Temperament: Timid, passive

Most Common Mood: Anxious

Positive Traits:

- Kind

- Fair

- Considerate

- Loyal

- Devoted

- Compassionate

- Trustworthy

- Empathetic

- Helpful

Negative Traits:

- Sensitive

- Forgetful

- Cowardly

- Indecisive

- Hypervigilent

- Scatter-brained

- Clumsy

- Indiscreet

- Naive

Most Prominent Personality Trait: Kindness

Other Personality Info:

Although naturally very timid, Eunjoo is earnest, appreciative and genuine. Innocent is her demeanour in a single word; she is a sensitive soul with a pure heart, and struggles to take her own and others' emotions lightly.

Yet, by valuing feelings over logic in any dispute, she presents herself as one-sided - and even gullible, for consciously failing to accept other solutions.

However, and surprisingly, if she feels she must or even as an impulsive blurt, she will lie to cover her mistakes - to simply have her forgetful self seem productive; say if Jumin asked if she'd emailed a party guest, she might say yes if she hadn't at all, and then in a whirl of panic would catch up on the task. Or perhaps wouldn't. She might forget again. Jumin is known to probe her constantly with annoyed reminders to keep up with her duties, but in...a good-natured way.

Despite these rushed little lies, in difficult situations, Eunjoo will blatantly lie to protect her friends, excluding herself entirely.

In fact, in stark contrast to her passive nature, Eunjoo would not be the type to shrink away from sacrificing herself. But why would this need to be included in this profile, I wonder...

Talents/Hobbies: Music, a gifted pianist.

Biggest Fears:

- Social Isolation

- Being unwanted, unloved; feeling worthless to others.

Hopes/Wishes: Simply to love and be loved.

~ FAVOURITES ~

Favourite...

Possession: Her beloved electronic keyboard. It's almost purposefully not set up anywhere in particular in her apartment. It's on the move so often that it's comical - Eunjoo puts it in any and every room depending on her mood, or to rekindle inspiration for what to play. She longs to one day have her very own grand piano.

Person: An infuriating tie between Kim Yoosung and Choi Saeyoung -

Yet...

In another time and place...

Eunjoo may have no clear answer to this question - other than perhaps finding herself flustered, blushing, and wondering when would be the next she'd see her sweet...mint-eyed host...

Animal: Dogs

Food: Lollipops, cupcakes and chocolate

Flavour/Taste: Sweet

Pizza Toppings: Cheese. Just cheese.

Drink: Milk, oddly.

Colour: Pastel pink

Flower/Plant: Sweetpeas (kindheartedness, bliss and innocence)

Game Genre: Cute and caring (hundreds of hours have been spent farming, island-running and pet-keeping)

Movie Genre: Heart-warming, comedy, romance

Music Genre: Classical, occasional pop and acoustic.

Place: Her bedroom, specifically her bed.

Time of Day: Afternoon, and sometimes night.

Weather: Sunny

Season/Time of Year: Summer

Holiday: Christmas

~ ~ ~

Least Favourite...

Possession: Her weird set of talking kitchen scales.

Person: Strangers, anyone unknown - although she is only just uncomfortable.

Animal: Cats, rats, snakes, ostriches (shudder)

Food: Fish, soup

Flavour/Taste: Sour, spicy, honey

Pizza Toppings: Peppers, chillies, mushrooms.

Drink: Coffee (too strong and bitter) and energy drinks (she chokes ferociously on the fizziness)

Colour: Purple

Flower/Plant: The plants with weird but hilarious names. ('Eunie! What do you mean?! I thought you loved my herrieanus!' - Saeyoung Choi)

Game Genre: Horror

Movie Genre: Horror, suspense

Music Genre: Metal, rock

Place: Anywhere unknown.

Time of Day: None in particular

Weather: Rain and/or wind, stormy

Season/Time of Year: Winter

Holiday: New Year’s

Intelligence Level: High

Self-Confidence Level: Low

Self-Esteem Level: Extremely low

Optimist or Pessimist: Pessimist, no matter how much she tries to be positive.

Introvert or Extrovert: Highly introverted

Impulsive or Cautious: Cautious

Logical or Emotional: Emotional

Night Owl or Early Bird: Night Owl

Energy Level: Average, though rises or falls depending on situation.

General Sociability: Low

Sense of Humour: Vast, but silly and inoffensive - puerile jokes and slapstick will never not make her erupt with laughter.

Typical Sleep Routine: Awful

Skills: Efficient in organisation, planning, management and problem solving.

Handwriting: Messy

Memory: Good

Virtue Levels: (1-10)

Adventurousness: 1

Caring: 8

Confidence: 2

Co-Operation: 5

Courage: 3

Creativity: 8

Flexibility: 2

Generosity: 10

Honesty: 6

Loyalty: 9

Patience: 8

Perseverance: 9

Respect: 8

Responsibility: 5

Reliability: 7

Trust: 5

~ ♡ ~

~ BACKGROUND ~

Eunjoo believes she was odd from the moment she came into the world.

It was like she wasn't ready yet...and sometimes even in the present, she still feels like she isn't at all ready to face the world.

This is because Eunjoo was born far, far too early.

Months premature, her birth resulted with expected difficulties. Her eyes had not yet fully developed - they had not even opened yet in the womb.

Complete blindness was feared, but Eunjoo was blessed, her father claims, with only an impairment.

Her left eye is completely blind, and in the right, although with an average area of clear focus, she has no peripheral vision (sides/edges in the field of view), poor balance and near non-existent depth perception - she's unable to determine distance in how near or far something is, and is confused with changes in level. Eunjoo, for example, hates stairs, because if she looked down a flight, it would just...look like a floor with weird stripes across it.

She also has nystagmus, which is the involuntary and uncontrollable flickering/shaking of the eyes, which to anyone seeing for the first time can be startling, and even...disturbing.

When she was little, she never understood why people looked at her face so weirdly. Her loving father was always there to comfort her, but she never grew out of this feeling of shame - because it was a sense of hurt she was always reminded of, whenever she so much as glanced to a mirror. She is wordlessly and deeply embarrassed of herself.

And so, Eunjoo almost always wears sunglasses.

She needs them, anyway, to protect herself from the sun and its piercing rays...and excruciating artificial lights, which were everywhere...

They were both a 'cool accessory' and a disguise. They allowed her to hide, and shrink away from gawks at her freaky, jittery eye.

As Eunjoo never knew her mother, her father was all she had as a child, and he doted on her. He fast became and continues to be her hero and her guardian - but over the years, somewhat began to slip.

Her sense of balance and security began to fall, as her father's ambition and business began to rise.

Cheolsook Min is the head of Min Counselling, a company which has become successful both nationally and internationally.

Her father's successful company made them constantly move, uprooted from place to place around the country - and ingraining in Eunjoo, never a 'forever' sense of stability.

No home ever stayed nor fit; no school, no place - no friends.

School...

She was picked on, bullied - of course she was. She was different and dissonant and crudely stuck out, like the frizz of her cloudy hair on a rainy day.

Middle school, high school - ever-changing prisons; escaping bullies only to be confronted by more, wherever she and her father moved next.

But they were quiet bullies, hidden bullies, who muttered about her under their breath - who deliberately nudged her left side when passing, who tapped her left shoulder, who clicked their fingers to the left of her face - and laughed.

It was all like a game.

And it was rather ironic, for her father to be the famous face associated with therapy and compassion, to be largely unaware of his daughter's anxieties.

All of these things culminated to the present.

For the past few months, Mr Min has been abroad, meeting with his company's international ties, by which leaving Eunjoo to live alone.

Well, she was a college student now.

She should be living alone now...shouldn't she? That was normal...

But before he left, of course, her father gave her easy lessons on how to do so - on...how to live - and also to peel her from her childhood and teenage cling of co-dependence.

She had always gripped to the life-line that was him, in order to live with ease. But this now was to change.

Room by room, her cramped apartment became nicely organised, and her kitchen even got (what she thought of as) a shiny makeover. High cupboards were kept to a minimum, and all cutlery, cups, mugs, plates, glasses, bowls and even cluttered utensils were all neatly arranged on shelves, easy cupboards, drawers.

But she continues to be scared of the microwave, oven, dishwasher...and - wherever the washing machine was.

Her father taught her as basically as he could, his crabby and reluctant daughter, how to clean and cook alone...and to face all of those accessible gadgets she hated.

Technology...

It was annoying and unnerving, like the horrible talking weighing scales which lived in a corner countertop of her tiny kitchen, and its stiff robotic voice which still weirded her out.

Saeyoung kept offering to be its new star voice, but she refused each time with laughter, because that would be even...weirder.

''Ah! You have summoned me for service! Oh, yes. The Spectacular 7-0-7! Your favourite kitchen appliance!' Isn't that perfect?'

'No! I'd - never be able to cook with a straight face!'

'That's the point! Cooking is meant to be fun ~!'

~ ♡ ~

~ BEHAVIOUR ~

When...

In Public/Around Strangers: Eunjoo never sticks around any longer than she would ever need to be. She rushes each place and back again, forever trying to move as invisibly as possible - though she knows that it would never happen.

Of course people would want to approach her...and ask if she needed help - she was a slight-looking girl, who used a white cane.

They were always kind, well-meaning people, but the awkwardness of rapidly assuring she was okay (even though she more often than not, was not), her deep, burning blushes of embarrassment were painful...every time.

In Private: Totally relaxed. Eunjoo's apartment is her safe place and sanctuary. She is free to do whatever she likes, be it playing on her little keyboard, wandering her apartment whilst mumblingly humming or singing to herself, watching videos on her phone of funny fails, baking cakes, puppies (and sending the odd photo of a cute puppy to Jumin to prove that they were so very cute)...and her favourite of all - babies farting.

Around Friends: Happy, playful and kind, although never losing her characteristic timidity. The RFA were her first friends, and she was always there, somewhere, in the chatrooms; for texts, calls. She was always, simply, on her phone.

She was devoted to them...they had her heart and soul.

?#%!?)#!@?? NO.

T@he RFA are not%#?(!permi?%@tted to/@/?*)@%#!have her hea#rt o?%r her s?&!%oul.

Only I am.

?#%!?)#!@??

When Happy: Big smiles and big blushes. Her face glows.

When Upset: Silent, distant, withdrawn, an inward lament which would fast be released with a long bout of tears.

When Scared: Freeze.

When Angry: Any build up of emotion fills Eunjoo with a trembling sensation, but anger wasn’t one she knew well. She would not explode, but simply burst into tears.

Flirting: Absolutely clueless to the matter - yet - the enthrallment of Eunjoo's shyness with the eagerness to befriend could be easily confused, to some, perhaps, as flirting. (COUGH Yoosung)

In Pain: Eunjoo often feels physical pain. Her poor depth perception makes her bump and into bang things every now and then - and she was no stranger to concentration-induced migraines, by the evil glaring blue light of her phone and laptop...both of which she used far too much.

In Love: Freeze in confusion and terror, because what...was this?

When Valued: Total disbelief - shocked to a silent stare with eyes as wide as moons. She would feel pure bafflement, and tears.

~ ~ ~

Role in Story: Main Character, Narrator

%#?(!Toy.

~ ~ ~

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mystic messenger oc #mystic messenger cmc #mysmes oc

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