#jk. no it fucking WASNT
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mARTch day 11, RGB
what if i was a little green deer... and we were both girls transgender 😳🥺
#to think i almost skipped today#pish!#i wrote a goodly amount and i was like hmm i can just be lazy thats enough art for today#jk. no it fucking WASNT#anyway henlo again deer#my stuff#martch#martch2024
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Putting my wife (Kurt Wagner) into some random clothes I saw online. My friend said he looked like a prep and my cousin said he looked like he was wearing a Gryffindor uniform, so I'm dying a little bit over it actually.
Please let me know if the values are as dark as they seem as on my laptop. I thought they were okay on my Ipad but idk now.
Sept 1, 2024 :)
#omensarttag#kurt wagner my beloved#idk if he'd wear anything like this i dont think so but who knows#i love this guy sm its killing me#avoided drawing hands by simply turning them into fists jjsdjjsdj i can be so lazy fr#im super lazy with backgrounds too rip#also fuck jk rowling btw if that wasnt clear#we dont like her here#also respect trans people ok ok#kurt wagner#nightcrawler#artwork#digital art#x men#x men comics#xmen fanart#fanart#artists on tumblr#art#character illustration#x men 97#queued post#QUEUE CURSE BE UPON YOU
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happy pride month (25/30)
#shoutout kari this ones for u#namkook day. lets all cheer#this post is fully loaded. included i know for the Know u love me boy so that i love you lyric. happy pride month#lg bts#have i ever mentioned my namkook dream here. i had a wack dream abt them once#like it wasnt THEM but also it was. like they were actors in a movie idk alternate universe or some shit#but it was nighttime and snowing and blue and they met to go to a fancy dinner and it was glowing orange inside#and the vibe was like. long estranged exes with a painful breakup meeting to catch up/get closure/etc#and jungkook showed up ready to be all 'i still love u' but namjoon was like. i met someone new/im engaged now/etc and im really happy#and jungkook just had to be like. Oh. thats good im really happy for you#and it was like. they were never going to work but jk couldnt let go of him but namjoon moved on#LIKE THAT IS SO FUCKING SAD AND FOR WHAT????? I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY LIKE. WHAT TF WAS THAT#WHAT IN GODS NAME#and thats the only bts dream ive ever had. besides the one where i was at a jk concert and he made my friend give him her vape LOL
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it just struck me how my queerness is essentially just me going "hmmm... nah <3"
#gender? nah <3#romantic orientation? nah <3#sexuality? nah <3#someone hands me a form that asks what i am and i just fill in 'n/a'#i simply couldnt be fucked! with literally any of it!#honestly the somewhat recent aroace realization has been So freeing#i didnt know how much stress the constant performance caused...#and also now that i KNOW it was a performance? oh boy looking back is so fucking funny#absolutely unprompted#damn sorry past me... they really didnt know...#they were out there trying so hard to conform lmfaoooo#pretending to pine while genuinely thinking they were pining....#trying to want a relationship while being So fucking stressed out and put off by the concept...#i may have been. somewhat of an idiot <3#nah jk i wasnt! thats just how it is growing up in a romance oriented world#now all i have to worry about it making friends!!!#no more trying to flirt with cute cashiers! no more feeling Unnecessary Pressure!#im free....
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A recent development
#/jk /jk#no-one will ever replace the green girlboy failure in my heart - my love for him is too strong to be overtaken <33#but i have infact missed this sweetheart - id forgotten how silly he is <33#can you believe he wasnt my most favourite-tist thing in the world when i first watched prime empire??#i actively wasnt that fond of him 🧍♂️#i would like to go back to past me and shake her very aggressively by the shoulders because WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER#HOW COULD I NOT LIKE THIS LITTLE GUY#i love him to bits and pieces now dont worry#(slowly realising this is a theme with me though - during rewatches im really liking the characters that I was NOT fond of the first time)#(happend with Okino - with FugiDove - with SORA!! <- absolute tragedy on that one what the hell was i thinking)#im having fun watching my favourite season :3👍#hmiae rambles#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lloyd garmadon#ninjago okino#ninjago prime empire#prime empire
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everyone on earth probably has a hypothetical farming sim in their mind's eye that they daydream about on occasion because of the unfortunate situation that despite there being like a thousand farming games released every minute only like 4 of them are any good. and i think this is fun, i think its good to keep the imagination alive. if i made a farming sim i would bring back rival marriages from the old friends of mineral town. i want to steal someones wife.
#jk jk you dont steal anyones wife or husband. but it wasnt a popular feature because people felt like they were stealing someones spouse#plus the fact that characters married eachother after a certain amount of time made them unavailable for player marriage adding a timelimit#if the player wants to get married. but thats why i want it BACK i think its 1) hilarious and 2) interesting and makes the world feel alive#NOW part of the reason (outside of it being an unpopular feature to begin with) its not in like any modern games is probably because#devs don't know how to deal with non-gender-locked marriage candidates with this#i think its easy. everyone is bisexual. not just playersexual. textually bisexual#it'll be interesting if they always have a set pairup regardless of player gender but it could also be interesting if there was like#a little algorithm to give a couple non-player pairups as options. maybe make it random#or if a dev was tooooo ambitious they could add a matchmaking system that the player could be involved with if they wanted to play cupid LO#but that seems too much for a farming game. thats usually a whole other game in itself#but yeah i think its easy. its not like farming sim marriage candidates are all that deep characters to begin with#i think itd be fine if you had a couple randomized rival marriages...... i think itd be neat#my other farming sim daydream is NO fucking combat for the love of god FREE ME from combat#that is why i like story of seasons just a bit more than stardew#stardew has so much good farming mechanics but god i hate the mines. i think its so soso sososososososo boring#i also dont really like the turn based battles in atelier games and most atelierlikes either#(well i liked it in mana khemia but that was more turn based focused than alchemy focused)#i came here to farm. i came here to make potions. i came here to micromanage numbers. do not make me battle#but that is purely a personal preference thing LOL a lot of people really love farming game combat. i dont tho <3#MY DAYDREAM FARMING SIM HAS NO COMBAT... AND YES CUCKHOLDRY#(jk jk thats not what rival marriages are. but thats how people talk about them. which is fascinating)#(unfortunately it makes me laugh so thats why i keep making jokes about it. sowwy <3 )
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UNCLE NINA WRITES WEIRD JK STAN LETTERS!
hello benevolent angel people!
( because you're wonderful but bc you're doing gods work by supporting my dead fanfic from hell. c:’ )
so this is a lil...experimental? but bc i've been dabbling on that one ask large lore ask that set before kyle knows raven of crimson dawn is his stan, i've gotten very attached to writing the silly jersey letters to dead stan in his journal again. ( again, nina lore is that it's what a friend had me do when my first cat passed away.
i still write to her. <3 )
but this is just something i wrote to get back into the habit of writing again. i put it on docs and i used a font which...okay? tbh, i think looks exactly like i want jk's handwriting to look. like its very swirly, he is my calligraphy king. i didn't proof it bc i just wrote...all of it tonight like a weird crazy person.
also i realize jk sounds...a lot like me
— but he Is me, tbh?
like in some facets i did give him lil pieces of myself so he could grow into an uber tall thicc as hell academic hot jersey talk shit get hit boy.
( i also do think he's a lot goofier with stan in his little letters esp since he doesn't think that anyone is going to read them they are just his lil vent space. let it out king! )
as for the timeline...i think it's pre!rm bonus content? like i dropped a little context about stuff that happened before the fic, but i think it's probably written anywhere in the last 1-2 years of rm before kyle went to that crimson dawn concert. i'm not sure what compelled me to write it i just...really like vulnerable jersey just being a jersey dirtbag but like kneeling by the stan shrine and asking for light.
speaking of...as far as triggers go. mostly the spelling is just bad, help, but jersey does talk a lot about stan dying and is very...distressed about it. he's also...really depressed and is not at the moment coping super well, but is reaching out for help. <3 always reach out for help when you need it. i didn't mention anything specific, but he does just mention thinking he's not a good person, feeling ugly, unworthy, lost, etc...TW FOR HIM BEING SO VULNERABLE AND CUTE ALSO.
he is...my secret loverboy prince.
he is my lo-...
my L-
anyways...ROLL CLIP!
#i cannot tell u what compelled me to make...this#but it did make me feel nice so idk its not the most professional or formulaic thing ive ever written#but i think its nice i am sorry if the found is too gnar i really wanted to do a jk letter in like a letter structure for once#also this is it so funny to me that jk out here trying to rizz himself up to fucking dead GHOST stan like he is insane#also im like oh god does he sound too much like me?? BUT HE IS ME I GAVE HIM LOTS OF ME IDK AAAA SORRY#he is a lovely man when hes not being horrible and i am Also a sweet lovely man when im not being horrible#but idk him giving stan all the cute nicknames and like writing a letter and for the first time in a very long time#wasnt completely honest but was mostly honest about just not being the best and needing to be and needin someone else#OOOOOOOOY MY EYES ARE WATCHING HELP ME#no im so sorry if u were victimized by sexy topdom jersey sometimes he is like on critical boyfailurisms#he wants to impress like one motherfucker and its dead stan marsh like HAUNT ME PROMISE ME#HAUNT ME LIKE AN OLD VICTORIAN HOUSE AN UNDERWATER SHIPWRECK when i tell u i was in pain#also not him just building his ideal boyfriend like he won i love you jersey SPEAKING OF DO U SEE HIM#DO YOU SEE HIM TRYING TO DO IT HES TRYING TO TYPE THE!!!! IM TELLING YALL HE CANT DO IT#HE COULDNT EVEN TELL DEAD STAN ANYWAYS THAT AS MAKING ME CRY sorry ill proof it a lots wrong w it#i am very sleepy nina please stop...not sleeping from stress#but i hope it pleases and sparkles <3
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tw my face,,boo!!
had to film a video for a job application and did my OWN make up for the first time (used to be done by my sister for formal events) mwhehehhehehh *disappears into the void again because i need to earn money to leave this damn family lawd*
#dw my hair wasnt as messy in the video it just puffed up at the very end bc this was taken after editing the vid lmao#WHY DO I HAVE TO WORK CAN I JUST BE A BULLET SHRIMP PLS#tw rant#jic#shhshshs#i miss scrolling on here i miss my moots i wanna die-#jk#fuck having to ge a job
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Listen I too once had Harry Potter brainrot so I get it but it’s so weird how much of fandom space it takes up. Like when I look up procedural dramas on AO3 why do a bunch of HP crossover fics show up as most popular? And like.. I could see the appeal of seeing certain characters in Hogwarts/sorting them. Categorizing is fun! But Leroy Jethro Gibbs is not a man to be shipped with boy wizards what is this
#Harry Potter#ncis#leroy jethro gibbs#I don’t like to yuck a yum but yuck#and why is it harry who gets written about he is an empty character#I GUESS it’s because people can give him whatever personality they want and not really be wrong but like#it’s weird#AND I WASNT EVEN LOOKING FOR NCIS STUFF#I was looking for bones#I know I need to sort better on ao3 but sorting by popular and a bunch of random snippet fics with a million fandom tags is bullshit#people need to chill with that#as always fuck jk Rowling#like I think when it comes to fan works we can ignore her#it’s just annoying#like her views have tainted so much of it for me now#also this happened when I tried to look up twilight fics a while ago#not that twilight is great but I like seeing what people create with it
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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theres no better place for my ichi ringtone to go off than during my exam tbh
#snap chats#i DO NOT want to talk about my exam <- is gonna talk about it#i get bad physiological reactions to tests itd be hilarious if it wasnt annoying#i hate taking tests cause ill know the answers 100% but then i go to take the official test and i 👁️👁️ i forget literally everything#LIKE AS IM FILLING IN THE ANSWERS I KNOW ITS WRONG BUT MY BRAIN JUTS REFUSES TO PUT THE RIGHT ONE#I REMEMBER THE INFO I JUST CANT PUT THEM IN THE RIGHT SPOTS I GET SO NERVOUS AND FOR WHAT i hate tests.#theres nothing i can do tests have been my bane for years and ill just have to live with my educators thinking im stupid <- i am#anyway. during my exam yeah. quiet-ass room and then you hear my dork-ass ringtone go off like HELP I WAS JUST 👁️👁️#now the whole classroom knows youre a dweeb. jk no one at my school knows rgg its fine#anyway im upset and im fighting every demon telling me to go to the bar and get a drink#NO. BAD SNAP. BAD COPING MECHANISM. YOU ALSO HAVE NO MONEY ENOUGH#i have my last class of the day in twenty minutes i wanna curl up in a ball instead but thats not how life works now is it so BYE#wait can i talk bout my morning cause it was goofy#i called up my doc to get my DRUGS refilled and she was lookin over my doc like#'my man you have too much testosterone' My Sister In Christ No The Fuck I Don't LMAO if i hear one more 'sorry ma'am' i just might lose it#funny world innit.. ok my class starting soon thats all i wanted to share LMAO BYE
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day 185/547 of missing jungkook
#its so hard to get a good screenshot out of this vid so fuck it. whole clip#today im graduating fr fr so heres the jungkook that first hooked me 😭#bc pathetic as it sounds the only thing abt uni that wasnt depression and misery was bts 😭😭😭😭#so i am reminiscing#jk#buny
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graham linehan should stop desperately trying to get his bullshit musical staged and set his eyes on an easier goal. something more achievable. for example maybe killing himself
#tumblr my last bastion of free speech. the guy made my FAVORITE sitcom but hes such a pathetic puece of shit#jk rowling wannabe but somehow more desparate and sad. the fucking play would go on if he wasnt such a loser fucking transphobe
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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Kinda unfair that wayne didn't get released internationally on prime
#like!!! i would have watched it on repeat all day when i had it but it wasnt here in spain#fuck jeff bezos fr#<- the last straw (jk)#talking tag#wayne marketing campaign#my guy wayne#wayne 2019
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everytime i rem(ember) that at the end of rm jersey has short hair something inside me screams and dies
#nina speaks#like Goddaaammnit Dude#it wasnt enough that they literally SHOT his ass#they had to cut his beautiful goregous curly boy HAIR too???#soooooo criminal holy shit count your fucking Days bitch!!!#like i am not saying he didn't look good or his bone structure didn't carry like he looked FIERCE it was a good change of pace#BUT IT WASNT RIGHT!! THEY MURDERED LONG HAIR JERS#smh i just know he woke up after three days hopped up on soooo much morphine all confused looking down at ravenstan#like why is there a beautiful weeping angel holding my hand my face feels weird holy shit am i dead...oh my god...WORSE#aM I BALD???? AM I UGLY??????? JHLKSKDSSDLd REEEAL#like good news u survived being shot bad news we had to cut your hair like jk i'd actually rather die i look like justin fkn bieber#pour one out for short hair yersey...he was mad but he served#kyle was horrified but stan thought he looked cute <3#soz i had a vivid dream abt this last night and had to share#my supermodel son
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