#john's journal

[angelsdean]

the winchester sons + sports: It's about how sports --often baseball in particular-- represent normal. John tries to entice Dean to talk and be "normal" again post-Mary with a baseball. Bobby forgoes hunting practice to just play catch with Dean and let him be a normal kid. Twelve year old dean considers joining the baseball team when they finally stick around somewhere for a longer stretch of time. But there are no trophies in John's storage locker from Dean's baseball games. We wonder if he ever joined the team at all. What Dean does find from when he was twelve is his first sawed-off. What represents dean's childhood? a gun. Dean kills someone for the first time when he is twelve. When Adam is twelve John starts visiting him and taking him to baseball games. When Sam is twelve he is on the soccer team. That same year, 1995, Dean is abandoned by John and experiences being a normal kid. He wins the state wrestling championship. Sonny proudly displays the award on his wall nearly two decades later.

[ 1x01, John's Journal, 3x03, 7x10, spn wiki, 4x19, 3x03 outline, 9x07 ]

[angelcasendgame]

Every fucked up excerpt I read from John's journal is haunted with the fact that Dean, Sam, and Mary have read this. Dean and Sam have read that John knows how abusive and neglectful he is. They've read that John's aware of how unfair it is to put everything on Dean's shoulders, they know John doesn't trust Sam, they know John expects Dean to die for Sam anyways, and that he will. And then later, Mary comes back from the dead with her little boys all grown up in a life she tried to escape with John, just to find out how he not only raised them in the life, he also abused and neglected them and justified it in her name

[horrorshow]

John Winchester’s journal

[hdfjsjkj]

happy 45th birthday dean winchester! here's everything john wrote about him on his birthday :)

[02x14]

It'll be something like draculadaily

[fandom-hoarder]

hunters are after sam. (this actually happens in john's journal, though sam's a kid at the time.) john orders him to stay out of sight during a new case, but sam rebels, figuring it'll be fine as long as he's not Sam Winchester, Son of John. so he gives himself a new undercover name and maybe crashes a witness interview or a hunter bar or something, but then everyone looks at his familiarity with john and thinks "oh ok dude brought his twink along" and sam CAN'T tell them the truth...

Ooh 👀👀👀

Nobody knows what Sam looks like, or how tall he is for his age, but someone gets suspicious when John marches Sam the last bit of the way to his truck with a hand to the back of Sam's neck.

As a twist, what if John uses the excuse of Sam being his rentboy, because another hunter on the case overhears Sam calling John 'daddy' when John drops him off at the motel. Sam doesn't know, but is so bratty around John in public that it reads as flirting and feeds into the narrative.

Then John has to tell Sam so he doesn't blow their cover, without telling Sam that the other hunters will want to kill him if they sus him out. He tells Sam it's the hunters' grudge against John himself making him cautious; that it's too risky for them to know he's John's son due to John's reputation.

(Eventually they get found out because John tries to send Sam away and finish the hunt alone and gets into trouble -- Dean is conveniently off at Bobby's -- Sam comes after John, and after he saves John from whatever monster of the week, the hunters show up when Sam is all sincerely saying, "Dad, are you okay?" And then John has to shed hunter blood in the name of Sam's safety.)

[scripted-downfall]

The fact that Mary walks out with John's journal when she leaves the Bunker irritates me (and, by irritates, I mean: pisses me off to no end) for a number of reasons, but the main ones are:

At no point did Sam (or Dean) say she could keep the journal. She just kinda assumed.

By taking the journal as she walked out, she effectively took the sole thing they had left of their father. And, while I have my qualms about John Winchester (to put it lightly), they still cared very strongly about keeping the journal/preserving some of that connection, so she had no right to just assume and steal it.

Also, it bears mentioning that we never really saw Sam and Dean talking about the decision to lend Mary the journal? Yes, it's definitely possible that they simply discussed it off-screen, but I could definitely see Sam deciding to lend her the journal without discussing it at all.

Mary had no right to take the journal and I hate that she did.

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

John Winchester’s Journal by Alex Irvine + The Black Angel of Oakland Cemetery + “White Angel” by Michael Cunningham + Supernatural by Eric Kripke

an alternate version of this.

[singersalvageshop]

i've been busy! working on john winchester's journal again after having abandoned the project for several years.. oops 😅 here are just a few of the pages i've completed recently. im going to try hard this time to actually finish the journal, because it's been haunting me like a ghost demanding to be finished every day for the past four years haha

[angelsdean]

DEAN IS TWELVE ! DEAN IS TWELVE ! DEAN IS TWELVE !

[dean-winchesters-adhd]

John's journal for all my autographs tomorrow 💙💚🤎

[angelcasendgame]

fuck john winchester

id under tag

[ID begins. Photo 1: Screenshot of Dean asking Adam, “He took you to a freaking baseball game?” Photo 2: Screenshot of Adam responding, “Why? What did Dad do for your birthday?”

The next photos are screenshots from John’s journal.

Entry 1: Dean turns five today. I was thinking about where we’re going to be in the fall, because he should start school. Then I realized that I can’t leave him in a school. Anything could happen. He’s got a talent for guns. I can see it already. And he’ll need it.

Entry 2: Dean’s sixth birthday. It’s been more than a year since he saw me kill a shape-shifter. He doesn’t ask about it anymore. And he stopped asking when he’s going to go to school. I tried to do it last fall, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t risk it. Maybe this year, now that he’s a little older, now that he knows a little more about things. I’ve been teaching him. Not the worst stuff, but enough so he knows that there are things that go bump in the night.

Entry 3: For his seventh birthday, I took Dean shooting again. He wanted to fire one of the big guns—that’s what he called them.

Entry 4: Dean turns nine today. We’re on the move, so he might not finish third grade. He calls himself the New Kid all the time.

Entry 5: Dean turns eleven today. He asked for his own gun, and I got him one. A Seecamp LWS .32 automatic, the smallest gun I could find that offered any kind of stopping power.

Entry 6: Dean turns thirteen today. For his birthday we went out todinner at a greasy spoon called Mama Janer’s, in Flint, Michigan. It’s freezing and miserable here, and we’re headed farthernorth to check out some things I’ve been hearing about shape-shifters in the North Woods, from Michigan all the way across

Entry 7: Dean turns sixteen today. We’re in Montana, and I think we’re on the trail of a werewolf. That bow-hunting practice is going to come in handy. Sometimes you can’t use a gun, and this is one of them. Tomorrow we’re going out on a hunt, and I’m going to let him take the lead.

Entry 8: Dean turns seventeen today. We went shooting. Then I sent him out on his first hunt. I’ve let him take the lead before, but I’ve always been there to back him up. This time he’s on his own. Partly it’s a test, and partly I wanted some time with Sammy. Should be no problem for Dean.

Entry 9: I gave Dean the Impala today for his eighteenth birthday. The car is 30 years old now, amazing it runs as well as it does. That’s a car. And now it’s my  son’s. He knows I’ll still be driving it, but he’s a man now, and since he’s already made his share of kills, this was the only rite of passage I could think of. He goddamn well better take care of it.

Entry 10: Dean turns twenty today. He’s in Ohio somewhere, hasn’t called in a couple of days. Tracking a possible poltergeist. He’s supposed to call in every night. Mission discipline is critical.

Entry 11: Dean turns twenty-one today. I’d buy him a beer if I thought it would be something new. He’s also old enough to buy his own guns now. I tried to raise him right, and looks like I did. He’s a scam artist, a ladies’ man, and an absolutely loyal son. He knows what’s right and doesn’t hesitate to do it. I’m proud of him. Now that he’s hunting on his own I don’t see as much of him, but I know he’s out there. When I call him in on a job, he’s right there every time. I’ve spent the last sixteen years afraid that I was going to screw him up somehow. Maybe now I can forget about that.

Entry 12: Dean turns twenty-one today. I’d buy him a beer if I thought it would be something new. He’s also old enough to buy his own guns now. I tried to raise him right, and looks like I did. He’s a scam artist, a ladies’ man, and an absolutely loyal son. He knows what’s right and doesn’t hesitate to do it. I’m proud of him. Now that he’s hunting on his own I don’t see as much of him, but I know he’s out there. When I call him in on a job, he’s right there every time. I’ve spent the last sixteen years afraid that I was going to screw him up somehow. Maybe now I can forget about that.

/end ID]

[thedetailsofspn]

John's Journal. forget exactly what episode this is, but it is the one where Dean gets the mark in S9.

I love how they actually used a handwritten font for the pages and you can tell that the underlining and highlighting was done digitally. My guess is the dirt is a printed effect as well. Super cool.

[wombywoo]

soaps 🧼

[wedarkacademia]