#joke.. don’t ever look away or ill get sad and lonely here

[princessianthe]

south park is meant to be enjoyed autistically

[sunnysunoo]

Love Letters ; Sim Jake

Pairing: Jake X Reader

warnings: explicit language and cursing

word count: 3k words

genre: friends to lovers au! fluff with tiny pieces of crack lmao

Jake was always known for being this perfect guy in school. I mean, they're not wrong. They always described him as if he's this walking piece of art in the hallways. People would stop to just stare at him. You'd stare at him all day too, but you set priorities first: writing him love letters.

You're no Lara Jean, but I guess you can say that she's what inspired you to write Jake letters. Who needs Peter Kavinsky when Jake Shim exists anyways?

note: Not me completely disappearing off of tumblr for like months and then showing up again suddenly lol. I got really busy the past few months since I was completing requirements for school, and I really didn't have the motivation to do anything at the time so I took so time off to take care of myself first so I hope you understand :) But now since it's summer break, I am given at least 2 more months until I go back to school in August :)) Here's the long-awaited Jake imagine that I completely forgot about lmao hope you enjoy <3

P.S I finished writing this at 1:26 am so please excuse the really shitty plot and grammar ill rewrite it once i wake up

tag list: @cha-raena ( sorry for the rlly late post bestie )

Dear Jake, First of all, I will never call you Jaeyun because calling you by your English name makes me feel like I'm your friend. Calling you by your Korean name makes us feel like we're cold strangers to one another and I don't want that. I want us to be something more than that, but it's hard when you don't even know who I am. I'm surprised how you don't grow tired of me just dropping letters right into your locker every time you open it, and that's one of the things I love about you. You don't just throw away people's efforts and you treasure them with care. It makes my heart beat so fast as if I ran miles away from here.

We're already one year left until we graduate high school, and I don't want to end my high school years without you realizing my feelings for you. I know for sure that you would never reciprocate the feelings that I have towards you, so I want to treat this as closure in case we do forget about each other in the future. Yours truly,

Moon

__

"How is this person not over you? That's like the tenth one this month," Jay said, looking over Jake as he reads the letter from his secret admirer. Jake has always been receiving these letters from the same person everyday for the past four months. He's thankful for the letters because they definitely make his day better, knowing that there's someone out there who loves him as who he is regardless of looks. He's not gonna lie that these little notes and letters make his heart race too. "Do you have any plans with finding the person behind the letters?" Jay asked as he watches his best friend trying to hide the small smile that's been growing. No one really knows who this mysterious person is and why they decided to name themselves the moon, but we don't judge anyone in here. If they want to be the moon in their next life, then so be it. "I really want to find the person who's making these letters," Jake shoved the letter in his backpack, trying to not wrinkle it. "But I don't know where to start." "Who's finding who?" A voice popped suddenly beside the presence of the two boys. You leaned beside the locker beside Jake's, watching him as he grabs his books from his locker. "Did Moon drop your daily letter today again?" "They did as usual," Jake wasn't even surprised. He would expect the letters every time he enters the school in the morning. He would open his locker to see the usual small letter placed inside his locker. He usually arrives at seven or earlier, but he's surprised that he could never even catch a glance of this anonymous sender around the campus. "Should I go to school at five in the morning?" "Five in the morning? Isn't that a bit too early?" You questioned, followed by a shaky breath. "The school doesn't even open until six." "I could just walk to that nearby convenience store I always pass by to grab a coffee." He argues, closing his locker shut before walking towards his classroom.

You and Jay followed beside him, and you sneered under your breath, "You don't even wake up to your alarm clock."

"Why don't you even want me to go early anyway?" He glances as you try to give him an answer. But before you could say something, Jay replies first.

"You’re probably hiding something." He said. You rolled your eyes and narrowed your eyes at him. "You are so weird." You grunted, before walking ahead of them. You feel panicked because you were scared that you made yourself obvious to them.

__

You were inside your classroom sitting on your desk. There were only fifteen minutes left before lunch, but you had eaten your packed meal before instead of going to your school cafeteria. You were fidgeting in your place, conflicted about Jake finding his secret admirer, not knowing that it was you who's been sending him letters the past few months. You're not scared of him finding out that the letters were from you; that was the entire reason why you wrote him letters in the first place. You're scared of how he was gonna confront you about it. Would he like you back? Would he hate you? Would he avoid you?

Your mind was full of scenarios but you were suddenly brought back to reality when a hand planted itself on your desk. You look up and saw Jay standing in front of you, eating sushi with his other hand. His face kinda looks like he knows something, and it's freaking you out a bit.

"What?" You asked, suddenly flustered over how his eyes stared right into you. He took the seat in front of your desk and flipped it so it was facing you. He sat down and blurted the phrase that you were dreading to hear from anyone.

"So, you like Jake?"

You suddenly feel like punching him in the face with his sushi.

"What??" Your body felt like, and you were left a nervous mess. Your heart like it was going to pump right out of your chest any minute, and your hands started to sweat.

Jay's mouth formed into a smirk. He caught you. "Jake may be a bit oblivious, but I can totally see right through you."

“Haha...no you don’t,” You tried to deny, but it was all useless when his expression looked unconvinced.

“Oh yeah? Then why are you all red? You look like a bursting tomato.”

“You don’t know that," You leaned further into your seat, playing with the strings of your hoodie.

“C’mon Y/N, you’re not even trying. Just give up and admit it,” Jay was trying to help you confess your feelings for Jake. Frankly, he knew it was you sending him letters this whole time—how can Jake not see it?

With a heavy sigh, you slumped and laid your head on your desk, embarrassed. “Fine. I like him, okay? Are you happy now?”

The smirk on his face grew wider, feeling proud of himself. You are not dealing with his annoying crap this early in the morning. He grinned and munched on his half-eaten sushi. “I knew it.”

“Congratulations,” It was muffled because you hid your red face away from him. All that was on your mind now was how you could book yourself a flight all the way across the world.

“But seriously, since when did you have a crush on him?” You raised your head to face him, giving him a look that could kill, except Jay finds it entertaining rather than intimidating.

“I started having a crush on him when we were in fifth grade. It was at a friend's birthday party, and he saw me being all quiet and lonely. Honestly, I forgot who’s birthday that was.” You told him the very first time you had discovered feelings.

“He saw how sad I looked so he accompanied me the whole time. He was even trying to feel more included in the games and stuff.” You felt a smile ghosting on your lips as you can still vividly remember how you felt your heart tug the first time. “It was kinda like I fell in love at first sight.”

Jay faked a gag, so you lightly punched him in the shoulder. He may be a bit of an asshole, but he’s one the most caring and kind people you’ve ever met. It honestly felt good spilling out your feelings about Jake to him.

Speaking of, Jake was watching you two play around and laugh at Jay's little jokes from outside, and he felt something burning from inside him. Was it that he felt jealous of you and Jay?

No, he can’t be...right?

Maybe it was because of how he felt separated from you and Jay because of him being a separate class.

Yeah, maybe it's because of that.

__

Dear Jake,

I just had the most bizarre day today, and I felt like telling you about it.

It was chemistry period, and we had to be partnered with someone for a lab project. I ended up getting paired with Yeojin. We kinda created this unexpected friendship, which I love. We would crack jokes at each other, tell funny stories, it was so fun to be with her that we had completely forgotten about our project. So now, we both got a detention slip for making an accidental explosion.

How about you? How was your day? I hope it was just as fun as mine. If you feel like the day just wasn't as happy or you're feeling down, just now that it's okay to feel that way because days like these just lasts for 24 hours. It will be all over before you know it and you'll be greeted by another day. Maybe it will be different, and you would be all happy again just like how my day went. Maybe being with you would be my happiest day yet, and I couldn't wait for that day to come. See you soon :)

Love,

Moon

__

"Yeojin!" Jake called, seeing her walk down the opposite way. "Hey, mind if I ask you something?"

"Hey Jake," She greeted him with a smile. "Sure, go ahead."

"Could you perhaps give me any information about your partner in Chemistry?" He had hopes of getting any kind of description about his mysterious sender, but he was instead given a sad frown on Yeojin's face.

"Sorry Jake, but that person told me not to tell you about their information." She gave an apologetic smile. "I wish you all the best in finding them!"

Jake muttered a small "okay," and sighed before walking away, feeling defeated.

Yeojin knew that he was gonna ask about Moon the moment he called her from across the hall. She couldn't wait to tell you about this.

__

"Hey Y/N," A voice said from behind. You turned around to see Jake with his backup hung on his shoulder. He brought his hand up and raked his hair, and you felt your face grow red. Jake is like a gift from the gods. How can someone look so ethereal even if they're just standing there? You could stare at him all day. You couldn't even understand a thing he said until he started waving his hands in front of you.

"Hello?" You blinked multiple times as you were brought back out to reality. You saw Jake's face grow into concern. "Are you okay? spaced out."

"O-oh..No, I'm completely fine." You reassured him, feeling embarrassed. "What were you saying again?"

"I was asking you if you wanted to go to school with me early tomorrow."

Well, shit.

Your eyes started to go wide, and your hands started to go clammy.

"Tomorrow?" You repeated, voice trembling.

'Well, yeah." He pouted his lips, and you felt like melting into a small puddle in your place. Your heart started to pound heavily.

Oh my fucking god, he is so adorable.

"Okay, sure I can go with you tomorrow," You weakly smiled at him, slightly tense.

How we're you going to give him the letter now?

__

"Good Morning," Jake said as he watches you close the gates of your house. It was past five in the morning, and you were a mess.

"Morning," You replied back before running your fingers through your hair, getting rid of any flyaways.

As you started walking your way to the bus stop, Jake kept on glancing towards you from time to time. He knew you were pretty, but since when did you become really beautiful in his eyes?

The walk was pretty quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. For him, mostly.

Meanwhile, you couldn't stop freaking out. You had written a letter the night before, but you don't know how you were going to slip it into his locker without him taking notice. If he saw you, he would know.

"Are you sure you're okay? You've been like this since yesterday," Jake blurted. You looked at him before heaving a sigh.

"It's nothing," You mouthed, suddenly feeling anxious and gloomy.

"Something on your mind?"

"Something like that." It was hopeless. I guess he would have to miss this letter today. It was the first time you skipped a day, and you're feeling guilty that you would have to see Jake's face sadden that he wouldn't receive it today.

As you two stop at the bus stop, Jake looked slightly panicked as he was rummaging through the pockets of his blazer before looking through his bag. "Hey, do you have an extra pen? I left mine at home and I have a quiz today."

You snickered, "Out of all the days, Sim Jake. The same day you have a quiz is the same day you forget your pen."

"Very funny." He scoffed.

As you unzipped your bag to grab your pencil case, a folded piece of paper fell out without you realizing it. When Jake went to pick it up, he notices that it was folded the same way as the letters in his locker. It looked so identical.

Once you already got your pencil case out, you were about to hand it to him when you saw what he was holding that made your body freeze with your hand holding the case in the air.

"Why were one of my letters inside your bag?" He glanced at you, waiting for you to reply.

If you were freaking out before, this is a whole other thing. The thing that you were fearing the most is happening right before you.

"Maybe it fell into my bag yesterday..." You stammered, making up an excuse to look like it was an accident. You were tightly holding onto your pencil case, chanting many curse words in your head as you watch Jake unfold the letter.

"I don't think I've received this one yet," He said before he opened the letter and read it.

You watch as his expression formed into confusion as he reads through the paper. It only took a few moments before something in him clicked that it was you sending him the letters.

"Y/N," He began, and you started quivering in fear.

You should've known this would happen, but you didn't expect it to happen this sooner. In fact, you believed that this wouldn't happen at all. But it did.

"Let me explain," You eventually gave up and accepted fate and watch as your identity as "Moon" be revealed to your crush. You're now exposed so you didn't have any other choice but to explain everything. "Yes, I am Moon. I was the one writing you the letters that you've been getting in your locker."

Jake's face was unreadable. He looked bewildered and puzzled. He was trying to comprehend what was happening right now. All this time, it was you?

"I started crushing on you when we attended that birthday party before. I didn't want to confess my feelings for you because I was scared that you were going to harshly reject me, so I started writing down letters as a way to tell you how I feel about you without making you feel awkward around me." You continued, eyes suddenly taking an interest in your shoes. They were brand new too.

Jake was silent, and you felt your heart crack into pieces. You were mad at yourself for being so careless about it that he ended up finding out about you as his secret admirer. You wanted nothing else but to run back home, lock yourself in your room and cry with your sad playlist on loop.

You were expecting a harsh rejection coming from him, but what surprised was how he took dangerous steps towards you, minimizing the gap between you two. He placed his hand under your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

"I don't plan on rejecting you Y/N," You stare into his eyes as it reflects the sunlight of the early morning. "I'm actually happy that it was you."

You look at him, puzzled. He lowly chuckles under his breath before leaning over to place his lips against yours. It was a light, quick kiss, but it brought you feeling ecstatic. You've dreamed of this moment before, and now that it happened, you thanked your clumsiness.

As he pulled away, you were sure your face was a red mess.

"Thank you," His smile was as bright as the stars in the sky. It was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. "Thank you for making me like I'm special to someone."

You felt flustered over his words. You were scared that he could hear the sound of your heart pounding loudly. The butterflies in your stomach were going wild, and you felt like this was all a dream.

"So, what am I to you now?" You broke into a smile as he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

Jake acted as if he was thinking, "Hm..maybe my best friend still?"

He bursts into a fit of giggles as he sees your smile slowly disappear, replacing it with a look of disbelief. You removed your hand from his and walked at a faster pace away from him.

He ran to match your pace beside you before holding your hand again, "I'm sorry, I won't ever do that again. Is my girl mad at me?"

"Oh my god, it's only five-fifty, Jake." You too broke into laughter over his cheesiness, but your heart fluttered over the thought of Jake calling you his.

__

HERE’S A LITTLE BONUS! since I've made you guys wait for 4 months :(

"What the fuck?" Was the first thing You heard from Jay as you and Jake entered the classroom. All of your classmates were staring at your and his hands intertwined together.

Jay stood in front of you two, crossing his arms together. "Can one of you explain when this happened?" he motioned towards your linking hands. You and Jake smiled at each other before walking away, leaving Jay in a fit of joy, and confusion.

[cupidhaos]

just how much i love you

pairing: hong jisoo x gn reader

word count: 3.2k

genre: fluff, slice of life, established relationship, non idol au

summary: you recall each time you realized just how much joshua loved you and decide to return the favor

warnings: mentions of illness

song rec: better | jeremy passion

a/n: YOOO im a day late i meant to post this yesterday for shuas bday but then it completely slipped my mind and i forgot that time was a thing and i was like CRAP so then i was like u know what ill post it tmrw bc i mean its technically still his bday and hes a from america so it still counts anyways enjoy this tooth rotting fluff 

you already knew that joshua meant the world to you - yet there are just some certain moments that come to mind when you think back on it.

one of the first moments that you thought of was when he was playing the guitar.

“whatcha writing down there?” you ask curiously as you leaned over joshua’s shoulder, trying to take a peek at whatever he was scribbling down on his journal. as you rest your chin on his shoulder, you wrap another arm around his neck. a silent chuckle leaves joshua’s lips as he slowly closes the book - pushing it off to the side “nothing that you need to know of just yet”

pouting, a whine leaves your lips as you shake his shoulders back and forth “aw c’mon shuaaa - you’ve been sitting here all day playing your guitar and you won’t even let me know what you’re doing”

he moves to the side a little so that he was able to get a good look of your face. setting his guitar down on the table in front of him, he motions for you to sit down with him. once he realizes you won’t budge as long as that pout on your lips was there, he stands up to wrap an arm around your waist - pulling you over the couch as you loudly yelped in surprise.

joshua places you onto his lap as he sits back down. securely wrapping his arms around your waist as he looks up at you with large, apologetic eyes “i’m sorry - were you getting lonely without me?” he teases.

all you could do was scoff in response which joshua just laughs at. its quiet for a second before he speaks up again “i can’t let you see it just yet. it’s a surprise”

“can i at least have a hint?”

he smiles at your question, reaching over to grab his guitar that he left on the table. he places it on your lap, leading your hands to hold onto it with his own. you were glad he wasn’t able to see the blush that covers your cheeks as he guided your hands to the guitar chords.

leaning over your shoulder to look at your hands, you can feel his hot breath graze your neck, which causes goosebumps to spread through your body “place your finger right here on this chord, and just strum lightly - exactly like that”

after teaching you a couple more chords, he pulls his hands away from yours, causing a wave of disappointment to wash over you. turning to look up at him, you give him a curious look “what was that for?”

he just shrugs as he moves himself towards the end of the couch, a sly smile on his face the entire times. opening up his notebook, he starts skimming through the pages “just chords for the song that i’m writing”

“song?”

“mhm - for you”

your face immediately turns red at his response “what?! you’re writing me a song?! why!”

he gives you a look of genuine confusion “do i need any other reason asides from the fact that i love you? anyways - it’s not ready yet so you’re just gonna have to wait” was all he said before getting up and leaving.

“wait! you can’t just say that and leave!” you call out after him as he laughs.

“i just did!”

that was the first time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“y/n… whats that in your jacket?”

you freeze from where you stood in the tiny apartment that the two of you shared. it was raining outside, and you were drenched from head to toe. joshua gives you a questionable look as he crosses his arms, cocking up one of his eyebrows.

you slowly look up as you clutch your jacket to your chest, a dumb look on your face “my jacket? theres nothing in it other than me, myself and i” you reply back. his eyes squint towards you as you try your best to avoid his gaze “you sure?”

as you open your mouth to respond, you were cut off with a bark coming from inside of your jacket. moments later, a small puppy pops up from your jacket - wiggling its way out of your arms and jumping onto the floor. a sheepish look covers your face as you lean down to pick up the puppy “okay maybe i was lying”

joshua doesn’t even look shock at the news, only a tired sigh coming from his lips “i thought you were going to get groceries”

you kick your shoes off and you hold the puppy closer to your chest “i know i said that but! look at him shua! isn’t he so cute!” you ask him as you walk towards your boyfriend. he looks down towards you and the dog in your arms as he chuckles “you know that you can’t just pick up stray dogs and bring them home right?”

your shoulders slump at his reply, a pout forming on your lips “i mean i know that… but he was all alone in the rain and he looked so sad… i couldn’t just leave him there!”

he nods in understanding, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer “i know you had good intentions - but have you ever considered that our little friend has an owner already?”

turning towards the side, you pull the dog in closer “well they just left him outside all alone in the rain they’re obviously not a good owner” you say under your breath.

joshua points towards the dogs neck “isn’t that a collar? have you checked if they belonged to someone?”

“no… but!”

“we can’t just steal someone else’s dog - they may be upset right now”

a sigh leavings your lips as you lean forward to rest your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder “i know… but he’s just so cute!”

“i know he is, but he isn’t our dog. how about this - after we return him lets go to the shelter and see if we can get our own?”

you gasp loudly as you quickly turn to look up at him, eyes wide and filled with hope “really! do you mean it!”

joshua nods, a soft smile on his face “of course - but we still have to return him first okay?”

you nod your head quickly, noticing the fond smile that joshua aims towards you “what? what is it?”

all he does is shake his head, brushing off the question “nothing, you just look really cute right now” is what he tells you - quickly causing your face to heat up. he places a hand on your forehead as he leans in close, causing your breath to hitch.

“you feel warm - lets go change your clothes before we go back out. we wouldn’t want you getting sick do we?” he tells you as he pulls you on your head, dragging you towards your bedroom. you just nod shyly in response to his question as he laughs quietly at your reaction.

that was the second time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“joshua stay back! i don’t want you to catch -” you suddenly stop your sentence as you felt a sneeze coming up. quickly burying your face into your elbow, you let out a loud sneeze. joshua shakes his head at you as he pushes you back down onto the bed “shh, just let me take care of you”

feeling weak, you’re unable to even fight back “you’re always taking care of me though - it’s my fault that i got sick in  the first place…”

joshua nods his head in agreement despite the offended scoff that leaves your lips “it is in fact your fault. i told you to dress warmly and bring an umbrella, and what did you do?”

“i didn’t dress warmly…”

“what else?”

“or bring an umbrella when it rained…”

he hums in acknowledgment as you places a wet towel on your forehead “i would say i told you so, but i think that you’ve learned your lesson”

a small frown appears on your face as joshua continued to scold you. you open your mouth to say something, but felt a pang in your head, causing a look of discomfort to now show on your face. a flash of worry appears on joshua’s features as you groan in pain “take it easy okay? don’t push yourself” he tells you as he hands you some medicine.

you place in the medicine in your mouth as you reach for the water, joshua’s already one step ahead of you. he brings the water up to your lips before you can even protest, helping you drink. once he pulls the cup away, you frown immediately “you don’t need to take care of me - you’ll get sick too”

he just shrugs at your comment though as he places the cup back down “i’m your boyfriend - why wouldn’t i take care of you?”

you’re about to retort back before he cuts you off with a quick kiss on the lips. you gasp loudly as you look at him in horror “joshua!”

joshua just laughs at your reaction “you can pay me back when i get sick by taking care of me. besides - if i wasn’t here to take care of you who would be?”

you’re unable to think of a response as joshua wraps his arms around you to pull you in for a hug “don’t worry y/n - i’ll always be there to take care of you” he reassures, causing your shoulders to relax.

a week later, joshua catches your cold.

“i told you that this would happen.” you scold him as you bring a spoon of soup up to his lips. he just smiles cheekily at you as he sits warm in bed “i told you you’ll be paying me back. but you don’t need to take care of me either - i was just joking really”

a light laugh leaves your lips at his comment. you place the bowl down and turn to look at him, grabbing his face with your hands “and like you said - i’ll always be there to take care of you too”

his face turned from surprised to one filled with adoration quickly as he gives you a toothy smile “then we’ll be taking care of eachother until we’re old and wrinkly”

that was the third time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“did you make these cookies yourself y/n?” seungcheol asks as him and jeonghan take a bit out of the cookies that you just baked. you nod your head excitedly as you await for their responses “i did! what do you think?”

before anyone could say anything, jeonghan opens his mouth to spit out the cookie “what did you even put in this? poison?”

you frown at his comment as you turn to look at seungcheol “they can’t be that bad!” you retort, but the look of disgust on seungcheol’s face tells you otherwise. he places the bitten cookie back down as he looks at you with wariness “why is it… so salty…”

“what are you even talking -” you start off as you grab a cookie from the cooling rack, but you stop yourself once you take a bite - a bitter taste of salt filling up your mouth. you quickly spit it back out as you now understand what your friends meant “why is it so salty!”

jeonghan shakes his head at you as he picks up one of the cookies to inspect it “maybe you put in the wrong ingredient when you were making it?” this comment makes you gasp as you come to realize your mistake.

“i think i mixed up the salt and the sugar!”

both of your friends give you looks of pity as you drop your head into your hands “this is horrible how am i supposed to give them to joshua now! i spent the last three hours for nothing!” you groan. seungcheol claps his hands together as he thinks of an idea “i know! lets throw them away before he gets home! then he’ll never know of your failure!”

raising your head from your hands, you give seungcheol a deadly glare which causes him to freeze in his chair “was it necessary to say it like that”

before any other ideas are thrown, the sound of the front door opening is heard - causing the three of you to panic.

“i’m home!” a familiar voice calls out, and before any of you were able to even touch the cookies - joshua has already entered the kitchen “oh! seungcheol! jeonghan! what are you two doing here?”

“well you see, y/n here wanted us to try her oh so amazing and delicious cookies that she’s worked so hard on” jeonghan explains, a devilish look in his eyes. seungcheol sighs once he realizes what jeonghan was planning and joshua just looks surprised.

he turns to you with a curious look on his face, glancing back down at the cookies on the cooling rack “you made cookies y/n?” he questions and all you can do was nod sadly “i was planning on surprising you with them when you came home but -”

“y/n spent hours working on these wonderful cookies just for you shua - why don’t you try some?” jeonghan presses on to which joshua nods. you glare at jeonghan who just gives you mischievous look back. as joshua reaches over and grabs a cookie, panic settles inside of you,

“look you really don’t have to -”

“these are great!”

you pause from where you stood and jeonghan and seungcheol both have the same confused look on their faces as you. joshua gives you a genuine smile as he takes another bite out of the cookie in his hand.

“they’re - wait what did you say?”

he nods as he continues to eat it - no sign of hesitation or lie on his face “you did great on them baby! thank you for the cookies” he tells you, leaning over to place a kiss on your forehead. you just stand there confused as he ultimately finishes up the cookie before grabbing another one.

jeonghan and seungcheol share a look with each other before turning back to joshua.

“you really think they’re good?” seungcheol asks warily which joshua nods in response to “of course i do - anything that y/n makes from scratch is good”

you felt your heart flutter at his response as you just stare up at him with wide eyes. jeonghan stares at joshua intently as he watches him eat another cookie “don’t you think theres anything off about it? maybe it tastes a little - salty?”

joshua pauses from eating the cookie and you hold your breath as you wait for his response. he just shakes his head though as he continues to eat the rest of the cookie “hm, its a little bit salty - but i still like it anyways”

as he finishes off the salt cookie, he excuses himself and tells you that hes going to go change first and be right back. you nod in response and the three of you wait until he finally leaves the kitchen. once you realize hes out of range, all three of you turn towards the cooling rack - each shoving a piece of cookie in your mouths.

as if on cue, you all spit the cookie back out. seungcheol grabs a napkin and tries to wipe the taste out of his mouth “either joshua’s a really good liar and was trying to get back at hannie - or theres something off about his tastebuds.”

jeonghan nods in agreement as he throws away the leftover cookie that he had onto a paper towel “i have no idea how he was able to eat three of those biohazards without even flinching”.

“its literally a salt cookie what is wrong with him” seungcheol questions as he grabs a glass of water for him and jeonghan. as jeonghan reaches to take the glass of water from seungcheol’s hand, he shakes his head. 

“theres no way he actually found that edible - he must’ve just lied so he wouldn’t hurt y/n’s feelings”

you just stare at the cookies in shock as you realized that joshua ate your cookies no matter how gross and salty it tasted - just because you made them. a soft smile slowly appears on your face as you recall watching him eat the cookies you made - going as far as complimenting and thanking you for them.

that was the fourth time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“guys shh!” someone says as joshua enters into his apartment that he shared with you. his eyebrows furrow together in confusion as he takes off his shoes and his coat.

“y/n? you there?” he calls out as he realizes just how dark the apartment was. he waits for you to answer and immediately fills up with worry once he doesn’t hear your reply. he’s about to take his phone out to call you, but is stopped once the lights suddenly turn on.

he covers his eyes as he tries to adjust to the brightness as loud pops suddenly filled his ears. moving his hands from his eyes, he is then met face to face with you holding a birthday cake along with the rest of his friends. confetti falls onto him as more party poppers were released.

“happy birthday joshua!”

his eyes widen in shock once he realizes what was going on. a wide smile covers his face as he looks behind you to see his friends holding confetti poppers as well as a large banner saying ‘happy birthday shua!’ on it. looking around, he realizes the rest of the apartment was decorated as well. he then looks at the cake you were holding in your hands.

“did you do this all for me?” joshua asks you in disbelief. you nod your head as you smile back at him “of course i did! why wouldn’t i?”

joshua just shakes his head though, the smile never leaving his face “i totally forgot it was even my birthday today”

his friends just laugh at his reply as one of them points towards you “you should thank y/n! they were the one to plan all of this!” he looks back at you as you turn your head away from him sheepishly “did you really plan all of this for me?”

you nod your head shyly as you feel his gaze now on you “i mean… yeah… it’s really not that big of deal…”

somehow, the smile on his joshua’s face grew ten times bigger. he leans down and gives you kiss on the top of your head “thank you y/n, it truly means the world to me”

shaking your head though, you look at him with a soft smile on your face “i just wanted to show you just how much i loved you since you do it to me all the time” you reply back, causing joshua to laugh in response.

“you don’t have to do anything - i already know how much you love me.”

m.list

[cinnbar-bun]

A Fool, A Sage, and a Lonely Friend Pt. 2

Pairing: Beelzebub x Reader x Lucilius

A/n: hello!! I return with the sequel after like… over a year hahaha … this ones a bit shorter, I think it’s best if I do smaller chunks versus just throwing a huge big piece like last time.

Warning: this is not canon. In the slightest. At all. Most of this is based on my interpretation of what I believe may have happened before WMTSB, and a lot of this has more dramatic and theatrical changes than what may have occurred. Please understand, I’m not trying to be canon- this is just for fun and I’m doing this to try and get to where we are now in canon! This series also contains mentions of abuse, sickness, death, and unhealthy relationships. If these make you uncomfortable, please do not read this.

Link to Part 1: https://cinnbar-bun.tumblr.com/post/190948837548/dark-rapture-and-chaos-lucilius-x-reader-x

“Open your eyes…”

He murmured softly against the body. His hand tightened around their wrist as he prayed for them to awaken.

Please... please... please…

Exhaustion and anxiety were all that remained in him. Ever since Beelzebub left to god knows where, he’d been focused on his newest creation.

A replica of the person he loved so dearly.

If everyone was to smite your existence, then he’d fix it all up for you. None would harm you. None would think to mistreat you or hurt you again. All they had to do was open their eyes, and he’d take care of them like how he couldn’t for you.

No movements. Lifeless. No pulse. Cold to the touch. No signs of any respiratory action.

He huffed as he pressed their cold hand against his cheek. He felt his eyes burn. It felt so much like when you were there… when you were in pain, suffering from that unknown illness even he could not figure out. He couldn’t help but mourn again. Everything was a constant reminder of what he had lost, and what he’d never get back.

A tear trickled down and he quickly wiped it away with his sleeve. He was tired. He was tired of crying. No more tears. There was no reason to cry when he was going to make you come back. He leaned over their body and used his thumb to graze across their cheek.

Nothing.

He sighed and was about to retract his hand when he saw their face scrunch up as they weakly creaked open their eyes.

“Wha… where…” they asked.

“My (Y/n)... you’re home.” He breathlessly whispered. He held their face with his hands and excitedly scanned them. Alive. It looked like them.

“Lucilius?” They asked, their voice barely above a whisper as they clenched their throat.

“You’re back. With me… I’m so happy. Come. I’ll have to perform some tests on you.” Lucilius said as he carried them in his arms. They looked at him with half-lidded eyes and tiredly nodded. “I can’t wait to show you all I’ve been doing.”

“What… what are you doing…?” they weakly called out. Lucilius tilted their chin up with his finger as he looked down on them.

“I’ve been working on bringing you back. I also made some new primarchs that you can befriend. Don’t you want to see that? You won’t be lonely anymore. You’re not in pain, are you?”

They opened their mouth before they shook their head. He smiled.

“Good...good… everything is right in the world now. I promise I won’t let anything hurt you anymore.”

They nodded and snuggled into his chest before they fell asleep again.

Ah, they still have sleeping spells. But that’s okay, I can fix that.

I’ll fix everything.

~

“Open your eyes.”

A cold voice awoke Beelzebub as he groaned in pain. He gripped his side before he felt a large force knock him over.

“What the-!” He yelled. He removed the black cloak covering his head and turned to his attacker. “You have some nerve-“

His heart stopped.

The assailant smirked at him and waved.

“Hello old friend.”

That voice! That… it can’t be…

How was it possible? How could it be that you ended up here? Here in this dark, disgusting hell? It couldn’t be you.

“(Y/n)?” He whispered. He felt he was being tricked. This was a cruel, sick joke. Pandemonium really was a disturbing and maddening place.

(H/c) hair, (e/c) eyes, (s/c) skin… things that reminded him of the love he lost. But so many things were different now. Those eyes were not wet with tears or weakened from sickness, instead, they were strong, burning with ambition that had him awestruck. The presence of you had become that of a… of a god, almost.

“Yes, it is me.” The figure nodded. They walked to him and gently placed a hand against his cheek. “Forgive me for hurting you, I just had to wake you up.”

He couldn’t respond. You were in front of him. After so long… after so many years of darkness and hatred and sadness spewing into his soul.

He gripped their wrist, wanting to hold you and make sure he wasn’t dreaming. That this wasn’t a cruel illusion placed by the gods of this world to torture him more.

“Beelzebub, darling, I’m here. You need to get up. We have unfinished business.”

“How are you alive?” He cut them off. They stared blankly before smiling again.

“I don’t know. All I remember is being offered a second chance. I need your help now.”

“What is it you need?”

“I know how cruel this world is. It has been so unkind to people like you and me. We are pawns in a game created by the gods. I am aware of how much it hurt you. But…” the figure hugged him, resting their head against his chest.

The warmth of your body against his made him feel nostalgic. He wrapped his arms around you and stroked your hair. Things he had wanted to do ever since you’ve been gone.

“But what if we became gods? Together?”

Beelzebub froze.

“You and I?”

“Mhm… just us two. Only the two of us, we who wish to seize control of our fate and take hold of our desires. We would be unstoppable, a force so strong that not even the gods could challenge us. All would bow to you, worship you, praise you. Don’t you want that, ‘Bubs’?”

He pulled the figure closer. The affectionate nickname that he never heard for so long… it felt like music to his ears.

“Heh… you don’t say? How did you know of what I wish?”

“Bubs, you fool. You don’t think I wouldn’t know what my love would truly want?” The figure chuckled before leaning into his ear. “I’ve missed you so much, Bubs. I’ve thought of you alone all this time. I wished to see you every day and dreamt of you every night. Is my dedication to my lord enough to prove how much I missed you?”

“Silence.” He whispered back. “You speak too much. To think, you’ve been here all along. Heh, I bet he never could have-“

The figure shut him up with a kiss to his lips. How long he had waited for that when he was a young, foolish boy. But now he was a man, a man with desires and dreams. No longer would he wait, instead, he’d claim. Claim all he wanted and desired.

The separation came far too quickly for his liking, and he held the figure close.

“Don’t talk about him. I’m here, Bubs. I just want you to think of me.”

“Tell me now what we will do to take over the skies. I don’t want to keep us waiting for our throne any longer.”

“I never thought you’d ask,” the figure smiled. “There is a certain… power. One that many cannot wield. But you, you’re different. You’re special, unlike anyone else here. This power can sow chaos wherever it goes, it can rip and tear anything asunder.”

“And what is this power?”

“It is called, chaos matter.”

[happylady215]

Have I fallen in love with him...?

Mitsuhide x Reader

------------------

(English is not my first language. So, I'm sorry if there's any bad grammars 😅😅)

✧༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻✧

(Reader POV)

Spring has come. Many beautiful flowers were blooming. Spring is the most beautiful season. Besides enjoying the beauty of flowers, spring is the season where you meet the people you miss or your true love.

…. At least, that’s what I heard from people around here. I was in the middle of preparing to open my teahouse. I have a teahouse located in Azuchi. My shop is not always crowded, but, many people like the food here. This teahouse is the last legacy of my parents. My parents… they died 3 years ago, and it makes me a little lonely everytime I remember them.

While waiting for customers to come, I drink a cup of hot tea. “I’m bored…” The spring wind blew and hit my face. It feels really nice. I closed my eyes, remembering something. “Speaking of spring, it always make me to remember that person…” Yes, spring is the first time where I met that person, my only childhood friend that I missed a lot. “I really want to see him again…”

.

.

.

(Around 10 years ago)

I was playing in a meadow full of flowers. At that time, I found a very large cherry blossoms tree. “It’s so big..!” I thought, while staring at it in amazement. My feet move automatically into that direction. “I wonder how old the tree is?” “I don’t know, maybe almost a hundred years old?” I hear someone answered my question. I was startled and immediately turned my body.

There was a boy who seemed 2-3 years older than me. His eyes were golden, he has silver hair and long lashes. Where did he come from? I’ve never seen him at all. Ah, he actually handsome too, but, why does his smile looks sly like… a fox?

“So you see me as a fox, huh?” he grin.

Wha-?! How did he know what I was thinking about?!

“Are you surprised because I know what were you thinking?”

AGAIN?????

“H-hey, how did you know what I was thinking?” I asked him.

“Because I’m ‘Satori’, a mhytical creature who can reads people minds. But don’t worry, I won’t eat you.”

Is he being serious? Or just joking? I can’t tell. He just keep smiling.

“Don’t lie to me, there’s no way you’re a monster or anything.”

“Oho? I thought you will get scared with this kind of thing, little mouse.”

“As if! I won’t get scared by that! And, ‘little mouse'?? Did you see me as a little mouse?”

“Didn’t you see me as a ‘fox’ too, earlier?”

Damn, he’s right. I tried to search another topic to change the subject.

“Hey, where are you from? I’ve never seen you. And, are you a noble? Your clothes looks expensive.”

That boy paused for a moment.

“I’m just a merchant son. And yes, I’m not from here, I came here to visit my distant relatives. But sorry, I can’t tell you where I come from.”

“Oh, I see”

“Then, what’s you’re name?”

“Hmmm? Why do you want to know my name, little mouse?”

“You don’t want to be called ‘fox’ forever by me,right? And I don’t want to be called ‘little mouse’ by you either.”

“Shouldn’t you introduce yourself first before asking other people names?”

Ughhh..! how long will he tease me like this?! How annoying!

“My name is (y/n)… (full name). "

“My name is Mitsu, nice too meet you little mouse.”

“Hey, didn’t I tell you that I don’t want to be called ‘little mouse’? And introduce yourself properly, will you? At least, tell me your full name.”

“Hoh~? Since when I will call you by your name? And since when I will introduce myself properly?”

“OH, WHY YOU-“

.

.

Since that day, Mitsu and I always meet each other and play together. We always meet under that cherry blossoms tree. We became close friend very quickly. He always tease me until make me angry, but he actually has gentle side too. He always cheer me up every time I feel sad, he always protect me whenever someone bully me. But, one day he must return. That day, he came to me to say goodbye. I’m sad. Of course. He’s my bestfriend, how could I not sad?

“Mitsu… will you come here again…?”

“I don’t know.”

“Can we meet each other again…?” my body is a little bit trembling, trying to hold back my tears.

Mitsu noticed that, and then, he hugged me. And slowly, he gently stroked my head.

“Little mouse, I promise that someday we will meet each other again. No matter how long it is, we will meet. I will find you.”

“You’re not lying, right?” I hug Mitsu tightly.

“This time, I’m not lying.”

I can’t hold back my tears anymore. I’m crying while hugging Mitsu. Mitsu kept silent and still stroking my head. He’s gentle touch make me comfortable, it makes me feel calmer.

“Good bye, (y/n)…”

And that’s the first and last time he called my name.

.

.

.

(Back to present)

“Iss..? Miss..? Excuse me? Hello?”

“Huh? Ah!”

“Oh my god, are you tired? You shouldn’t have to open your teahouse if you’re exhausted, dear.” Apperantly there’s a customer who wake me from my nap.

“Oh, no. I’m perfectly fine. Do you order as usual?”

“Yup, as usual, please. I’ll sit on the bench outside, okay?”

“Okay, please wait.”

I can’t believe I fell asleep, and my customer is the one who wake me up. Gosh, this is embarrassing. Why did I dream about that again? Even though I try to forget it. ‘We will meet each other again’ he said. Hah, how funny. It’s been years and we haven’t meet again.

…….

Oh, come on! Why am I keep missing him? This longing makes me uneasy.. Can we really meet again? I’ve been waiting too long. Was it just a lie that time?

.

.

“Thank you for your visit, please come back anytime.” I bowed my head to the customer who just walked out of my teahouse.

“Excuse me.” Ah, I guess there’s another customer.

“Yes? May I help you-“ I gasped. My eyes widened staring at the person in front of me in disbelief. Otherwise, that person also looked at me with a look of disbelief.

“M-Mitsu…?”

���Little mouse…? Why... Are you here...?”

Yes, there’s no mistaking it. This person is Mitsu, my childhood friend that I missed a lot since that day. I didn’t answer his question. Instead, I immediately run to him and hug him tightly and can’t hold back my tears once again. Finally… finally, we meet again..! I’m so happy.

“Little mouse, we should go inside first.”

I think my eyes a little bit swollen, it hurts a little. Fortunately, today only a few customers came here. I’m glad they didn’t have to my ugly appearance, now. “Little mouse, how did you ended up here? Aren’t you not from Azuchi? I tought you live in another village a little bit far from Azuchi?” Mitsu ask me while comforting me. His voice sound very gentle. “This teahouse is mine, Mitsu. Our family decide to move to Azuchi, not long after you return to your home. I think it’s 3 months after that.” “Oh, I see… so that’s why I can’t find you..” he mumble. “Did you said something, Mitsu?” “Ah, no. it’s nothing.”

And after that, he explained everything. That time he can't tell his real name because he actually on a secret mission with his father. His real name is Mitsuhide, Akechi Mitsuhide. Oda Nobunaga’s left-hand man that called as ‘Silver Kitsune’, many bad rumours surrounded him. I can’t believe that the ‘Silver Kitsune’ is my childhood friend!?

“How about your family? Are they healthy as usual?”

“Ah, about them… they died 3 years ago because of illness.”

“…. I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay. By the way, why did you keep calling me ‘little mouse’? Did you forget that I don’t like being called that??”

“Hooh… You hate it? I thought it’s cute, though.” Finally he smile again.

“Geez, it’s not cute!”

“I’ll call you whatever I want and you can’t deny it.”

He’s teasing me again.

.

.

Since then, Mitsu always came to my teahouse when he wasn’t too busy. We chat and spend time just like when we were kids. Oh, how miss am I to feel this atmosphere.

“Mitsu- ah, no. I mean, Mitsuhide.” I still not used to call him by his real name.

“You can call me ‘Mistu’ like you always do. I don’t mind at all.”

“Oh, okay. Mitsu?”

“Yes?”

“Are you aware that you have been called ‘Silver Kitsune’? Did you know that there’s many bad rumours surrounded you?”

“Of course I’m aware, little mouse. Because I’m the one who spread those rumours.” He answerd it calmly. He seems very calm I must say.

“What..?! Why did you do that?”

“It’s just part of my job as Lord Nobunaga’s left-hand man, you don’t need to know the details.”

“… still… Don’t you ever feel angry or qualmish by those rumours?”

“What do you mean?”

“People said you have intimidating and cold gaze that makes people scared of you, no ones know what you think, people called you ‘Kitsune’ or ‘Snake’ and anything. Don’t you feel angry?”

Actually I’m the one who angry to hear such rumours.

“Oho? I didn’t know that my rumours became that much. How fascinating.” He chuckle.

“Hahh… nevermind, forget it.”

“But it seems, that you angry with those rumours, little mouse?” It seems he read my mind.

“Of course, I am.”

“Oh? Please do tell the reasons.” He seems interested to hear my reasons.

“Because they’re wrong. You maybe often to tease and trick me, but you never do anything harmful to me. You always protect me. You have gentle side too, you know? You actually care about other people, but you never let anyone see that side of you. I even like it when you’re beside me, Mitsu. I love your gentle touch when you stroke my head. It makes me feel safe and comfortable. But yeah, I’m always comfortable when we’re together.” Unconsciously, I smiled when telling the reasons.

Huh? Why is he even silent? And also lowered his head instead? “Mitsu, what’s wrong?” When I was about to touch him, he slightly back away from me while covering his face. “Hey, what’s wrong with you? Are you sick?” I feel a little bit panic because he didn’t answer me at all.

“Ha…. Haha…Hahahah….” He chuckled.

“Mitsu?”

“Oh, dear. You've never changed a bit since we’re a kid, huh? Always being a straight forward and speak what’s in your mind.”

He finally showed his face. And I’m a little bit surprised what I saw.

His cheeks were painted with blush to the tips of his ears. This is the first time I’ve seen him like this. The usual Mitsu I’ve known always looks calm and cool.

Ba-thump Ba-thump…!

Oh,god why my heart is pounding right now? I feel my cheeks become hot too.

“Little mouse.”

“Y-Yes!?” dammit, why am I become nervous suddenly??

“Why are you blushing too? Yo’re like an innocent teenager, you know?”

“Hah? Shut up, and stop smiling you-“

“But that’s why I like you since we were kids.” He take one of my hand, and lifted my chin with his other hand. “(y/n)?” this is the second time he call my name.

“Yes?” I felt my cheeks became more hot, because he brought his face closer to me.

“I like you since childhood. You are my first love, who I always miss since then. (y/n), I love you from the bottom of my heart. Will you be my life companion forever?”

“Are you teasing me right now?”

Without any warnings, he suddenly pull me closer and kiss me. He kissed me slowly and gently. It feels nice, I don’t hate it at all. Instead, I feel very happy. It feels like my heart could explode anytime.

After that he release me.

"Do you think I was teasing or lying to you, right now?” he smirk.

My heart is pounding harder right now. What is this feeling? What is this euphoria? I can’t think anything but him. Have i… Have I fallen in love with him….?”

.

.

.

[twenty-one-froggy-pilots]

Yeah I'm honestly a bit surprised by how passionate and vocal people are about hating twenty one pilots? It's kinda upsetting that when I try to interact with content about them I'm always a bit worried in the back of my mind because I'm a pretty sensitive person and it's hard not to let stuff get to me.

I don’t know why it’s always felt like twenty one pilots has gotten a ton of hate for no reason? I’ve been into them since 2013-2014 so pure unadulterated vessel era, I’m a very old fan of them and their music, like one of the oldest picture in my phone is this

(This picture isn’t important I just love it, plus something fun to look at with a not so fun subject material)

(Long history as a fan rant incoming lol)

I’ve been an emo kid for a really long time, back when all of the emo bands were big, when seeing another kid wearing a panic! shirt always meant you talked to them in the mall, I still remember when I would wear the one twenty one pilots shirt I could afford outside, that anyone who knew who they were would come up and start a conversation with me

And it’s like through the years the hate has changed to be... somehow worse

Back in the early days tøp used to get called not a true emo band because they didn’t have anyone playing the guitar so everyone hated them because they weren’t emo Enough

Plus there was the whole ‘emo trinity’ ‘emo quartet’ infighting nonsense but that’s so long past idk if anyone even remembers it lol

Then blurryface rolls around and fans are being made fun of for dressing funky and going through that one fandom phase where everyone was calling the boys smol beans it was great and cute, we were all really close, we called each other frens, told each other to stay street it was great! So what people made fun of us or whatever we were absolutely vibing

Twenty one pilots felt like the coolest secret gang of fans, we were absolutely huge, more so than most people would think, and man it was awesome!! If you saw a tøp fan you knew that you were cool with that person and that person would be cool with you!! It was amazing!! Sometimes I do miss this vibe!!

But then Stressed Out ended up on the radio...

I feel like it really all changed here, all of the sudden the old fandom things were cringy, the boys were sell outs, and every family member you knew was suddenly the biggest fan despite only knowing stressed out

I remember being upset around this time because of strangers invading my space, this was my group, filled with people who understood what the lyrics meant and knew and understood how much they meant to all of us, and suddenly it was filled with people who didn’t belong

I didn’t blame the pilot boys, obviously they can’t control what’s on the radio, I’m fact, there’s plenty of pilot songs that mention never being played on the radio because of one reason or another, so my problem was never with the boys, it was with the influx of new people, and by new people I don’t mean new fans, I mean news outlets and tv show host, and with that influx came the people who didn’t get it, you know? That were rude and outright nasty and refused to understand anything about the genre and effort put into the story and why it mattered to us

(Tw for suicide mention, and uncomfortable themes involving people making fun of themes involving it, tw for mentions of school shootings)

All of the sudden we were the fans of Tyler Joseph the man who ‘Glorifies Suicide’ and actively is supposedly encouraging that behavior

We were the cringy fans everyone knew in high school and hated who were described as being ‘JuSt So QuIrkY 🤪’, instead of the mentally ill kids we all were, by people who hated us

We were the fans of those ‘white boys who look like school shooters’ (this one honestly rocked me to my core, it still hurts to even see??? Like idk why but it almost makes me want to cry)

At the same time a lot of the old fans were turning their back on the pilots, they didn’t want to be involved anymore, they hated ALL of the new fans whether they were respectful or not

It was a REALLY hard time to be a new fan, very few people were open to having them involved in anything, I think this is when a lot of hatred happened in the fandom not only fan-fan fighting/hatred but also fan-band sentiments weren’t great either

The more songs that ended up on the radio the more the hatred grew, in fact this got so bad Tyler did this

Here’s a transcript in case it’s hard to hear

Like... this was the state of our fan group.... it was suddenly cool to hate all the songs that ended up on the radio so much it affected every part of our music journey

There was a lot of infighting, it was an awful time to be a fan, new or old

Then came silence era, in which every tøp blog I followed except like 2, became kpop blogs and I’m not sure any of them ever came back lol, I actually really disliked kpop because of this for a bit in like a jokey kind of way in my own head lol (ahh how the turn tables have turned... kpop and tøp are the only things I listen to now haha, actually because of all my tøp mutuals becoming kpop blogs I vowed to myself to not change this blog to another group so I have two music blogs now, which makes me laugh but also shows how important music is to me so it makes me happy anyways you know?)

It was kind of a sad way to have the fandom disappear, everything was strangled, the boys were gone, and no one kept up with the fandom, it felt really lonely

When Trench era clues started back people started coming back, the mood was different, we had something to do and it was fun to work on something with others, we had the Clancy letters, and all the clues, and the tower of silence and the vultures!! It was great! It started to feel like we had rebuilt something from the rubble of what we had been

The fandom started calling Tyler stinky and he called us b*stards it was great, sometimes people were a bit meaner than I think they thought they were being, but it worked you know?

When the album released we had more people come back and things slowly started fitting back ok again, more songs ended up on the radio and a lot of older fans said the same things they’re saying now, but it wasn’t that bad, it was mostly very positive

And then we got to the over the summer drama, which........... is a sensitive subject, but I legitimately do not understand how it was Tyler’s fault that people assumed he was talking about something when he wasn’t talking about it at all... especially when people have been begging him for years to talk more about mental health, he wanted to introduce whatever he was going to do with a joke, I personally never though he was talking about the big issue at the time of the incident, but it blew up like wildfire and the next thing you know he’s canceled because Other People Assumed Something

So now it’s ‘Morally Justifiable’ to hate Tyler because he’s r*cist or something, despite it never being his intention and because people assumed something

It’s literally not even with good reason that people are doing this, but because it blew up when it did and about what it did, no one knows what really happened and people just wanted a morally justified reason to hate them because you can’t just dislike something anymore without it being justifiable I guess? I feel like with all of the years I’ve spent on the internet everything has only become more hateful...

All this to say.... yes, it hurts when people hate the things that you do, I get really sensitive about it as well, especially with how long and how many arguments I’ve seen, and I am extremely sensitive to discourse and hatred, it’s why I don’t engage with much of it online, in fact I was about to delete the post complaining about everyone hating on them before I saw it was really resonating with you guys

I guess my best advice to you anon, would to try to understand where it’s coming from, that’s what’s helped me, I know a lot of people dislike the pilots because of the fact that they became ‘mainstream’ during blurryface era, and people are really upset by that, so understanding that, even when it hurts, I can acknowledge that they feel that way and that it’s ok that I feel differently

It’s easy to take that point and test it against your own morals, ‘do I think twenty one pilots became mainstream, or only makes songs to get on the radio?’ If your answer is no, then you can both say ‘I don’t agree with them but they’re allowed to have their own opinion’ and kind of give yourself a wall and barrier against what they say

I know this isn’t perfect advice, but it’s helped me a lot

I know there are two big arguments against this album, that it’s mainstream and made to have radio singles (the underlying argument here I guess being Tyler and Josh are money hungry and no longer care about the music)

And that it’s no longer lyrically meaningful, but I think this has to do a lot with how involved people are in the Dema lore, if you’re not a fan of lore I would imagine this album being propaganda and supposed to be fake and bright to prove a point would really bug you if you didn’t really get it

To best thing to do is digest an argument (only if you can handle it emotionally of course 🖤) and know it’s ok that think differently than other people, and that the chances of someone being mad at you are very slim

A lot of things I’ve enjoyed have been stolen by the fear of getting hated on for something - while in actuality, the very few times I’ve gotten real hate over something barely affected me

I admit the fear of getting hate bothers me a lot more than actually getting it, but I just want to encourage you to stay strong in the face of it, it will pass, as it all does, but if nothing else in this post resonates with you, PLEASE HOLD ONTO YOUR JOY FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN! And don’t let ANYONE take it from YOU!!

If twenty one pilots makes you happy, just remember that the only person who can take that true joy away from you is yourself, remove the people who make you feel sad out of your life, I apologize if this is a physical person in your life as this makes it a lot harder, and sometimes impossible depending on the situation, but on the internet unfollow anyone, block anyone, don’t engage and leave them alone, it’s not with your energy or effort, and they’ll never change their minds but they can change yours you know?

Being sensitive in a time when everything is hateful is hard, especially when everyone tells you you’re a bad person if you aren’t engaged, but you really don’t have to be, you get to choose your own destiny you know? Don’t let other people choose it for you

[chocoluckchipz]

The Other You - 19

Read it on A03, FF.net, WattPad

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Marinette had never been so close to committing homicide before. She’d gladly solve this issue peacefully, but it looked like there was no other way of dealing with Adrien Freaking Agreste. Letting him help her was a huge mistake. Why was she such a pushover? Damned puppy eyes. Adrien’s should be illegal. They were like a lethal weapon, those things on his face. And that stupid sexy smile of his! An army would lay down their arms and surrender at the sight of Adrien’s smoulder. 

“Tikki!” Marinette hissed. “I need to let off some steam. Spots on!” 

Wind in her hair, Ladybug ran across the rooftops, the setting sun bringing up an unwelcome reminder. She should be back home, sharing dinner with Chat Noir right now, not trying to escape her own weaknesses. It wasn’t her fault, though—Chat had somewhere else to be tonight. 

Stupid cat! This wasn’t even the first time he’d bailed on their dinners after the reveal. Not that he was of any use when he was coming over. Distant, suddenly shy for no reason, avoiding any physical contact. He wouldn’t even hug her now, much less kiss. What was wrong? Was it her? Did she do something? Why was he suddenly less affectionate with her than when they used to be just friends? 

She stopped, her breathing ragged. Holding onto the nearest chimney, Ladybug forced a sad chuckle, pushing down the knot in her throat. 

No. 

He still loved her. He was just working on that thing he needed to do before he could reveal himself to her. That was it. There was nothing wrong with anything. She had no reason not to trust Chat. They’d been partners for a decade now and did he once lie to her? 

Ladybug closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Everything would be alright. Once the show was over in less than a week, Adrien would stop coming to her studio. Hopefully, Chat Noir would resolve his issue by then and would start treating her more like a lover instead of whatever was going on between them now. That would surely help her get over her stupid feelings for Adrien which shouldn’t have happened in the first place! 

She was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

She was the freaking Ladybug, the superhero of Paris!

She should have better self-control than this! She should’ve stayed away from that man in the first place! It was probably some genetic disorder or something to fall for Adrien Agreste the moment she spent more than ten minutes in the same room with him. There had to be some kind of medicine for it if that was the case.

Ladybug sprinted. She needed that tightness in her chest to vanish. Those butterflies in her stomach must be massacred. Her mind should be focused on running, not on the chiselled body of her boss. His perfect smile. His gorgeous eyes. His stupidly funny jokes… He’d flirted with her on multiple occasions! There was no denying that. 

What was his deal???

What was he hoping to achieve? He said he wanted to be friends again, nothing more. So why the heck was he showering her with compliments? Why the hell was he kissing her hands and bringing her little presents every so often? Why did he pay her so much attention, and why did he have to be so perfect? Why couldn’t Marinette concentrate on her work the moment Adrien came into the room? 

Why in the world hadn’t she told him she wasn’t single yet???

Why didn't Chat Noir evoke the same reaction in her? He was her freaking boyfriend! She should be swooning over him. She would be if that mangy cat gave her any encouragement, instead of pulling away at the slightest hint of attention from her. He had yet to kiss her since the reveal and, to be honest, Marinette was growing impatient. She needed his affection. She craved his touch. The intimacy of his embrace. The heat of his lips on hers. She needed Chat to make her feel special, loved, and cared for. She didn’t ask for much… 

Her eyes zeroed on a figure in the window. Ladybug looked around in confusion. How did she end up in front of her workplace? Why was there a single lit window in the building on a Saturday night? Why was Adrien Agreste in that window, hunched over his desk, working on something she couldn't quite make out? Most importantly, why couldn't Ladybug walk in and ask him what his intentions were towards her civilian self? It wasn't like he knew her identity, but if she was careful, she had a chance to find out why he was behaving the way he was. Maybe, there were no ill intentions on his side and it all was in her head. 

Logic forgotten, all caution cast aside, Ladybug swung her yoyo and landed on the sill of Adrien’s office window a moment later. He looked at her, his eyes widening, lips stretching in a smile soon after.

“Ladybug?” Adrien stood and rushed to open the window for her. “What brings you here?”

“Nothing in particular.” She came down to the floor without taking his offered hand. “I was just in the neighbourhood and noticed a lone light on in the building. And then saw you and thought, why, look who is it? Adrien Agreste. Haven’t seen him in ages. I should probably stop by and say hello. So, hello, Adrien. How are you? What have you been up to these past few years? What are you up to now?”

Adrien laughed, his eyes sparkling with joy. Or were those tears?  

Ladybug pressed her lips in a thin line. How dare he look so—so… Ugh! 

“Sorry.” He seemingly tried to compose himself, the sweetest smile on his lips. So soft and warm, it lit up the room. 

She couldn’t look away. Those lips of his were probably just as soft as his smile…  She wondered… But she was in her costume. There is no way she’d feel anything even if she touched them. 

Crap!

Her eyes wide, heat spreading on her cheeks, Ladybug turned away. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I did burst in uninvited with a ton of questions.”

“You’re always welcome here.” Adrien gave her another of his signature, lethal smiles. “Thank you for stopping by. Can’t blame you for being curious. The last time we saw each other was quite a long time back. What’s it been? A few years?”

“Since you moved away from the mansion, I think.”

“Oh, yeah. Long time,” he echoed, gazing into her eyes.

Ladybug stilled, recognizing something. Mischief lurked behind that warmth in his eyes. Something darker, something that made her toes curl and her stomach tighten, was hiding behind that innocent light of his. She swallowed and forced herself to look away.

“So, what have you been up to?” she asked, walking to his desk. Mostly to get some space between them. 

“Nothing spectacular.” Freaking Agreste followed her! “Graduated from a university. Physics and Education majors. Found work at a high school. This spring, inherited this disaster of a fashion empire. Currently trying it out for summer.”

“Trying out?”

“Yeah.” His hand rubbed the nape of his neck. “I want to see which line of work appeals more to me before making any decisions regarding my future.”

“And what are you thinking as of now?”

Adrien shrugged. “Honestly? I think Gabriel’s growing on me. When I first came here, I was ready to sell it that same evening. But then a friend helped me out, and it went easier from there. Right now, I’d say, I’m kind of enjoying rebuilding this sinking ship into the great company it should be. Not whatever my father led it into.”

There was her perfect opening. “A friend?”

Freaking Agreste dared to smile so sweetly she almost got diabetes. He didn’t even look away when letting her civilian name slip his lips in the most reverent fashion. 

“Marinette. You know her, right? From Tom and Sabine’s bakery. Black hair, gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful smile. Just as fiery and brave as you are.”

She’d let all the compliments slide for now for the sake of sniffing out the info she needed. She simply nodded. “I remember Marinette.”

His smile got smug all of a sudden, eyes sparkling with glee. Adrien grabbed a string of beads off his desk and showed it to her. “Look. This is a lucky charm I made for her. Her first line will be presented next week, so I wanted to support her in any way I can. Not that Marinette needs luck because her collection is amazing, but we exchanged lucky charms back in school and I thought it was pretty neat. I still have the lucky charm she gave me, but I wasn’t sure if she still had hers. So, I decided to make her a new one. What do you think?”

Holding her breath, Ladybug picked a string of beads off Adrien's palm. Instead of the blue and yellow palette of his old lucky charm, this one was done in different shades of pinks and greys that sparkled and shimmered under the lights. A much more elegant and sophisticated job. No fashionista in Paris would ever be embarrassed carrying a lucky charm like this in her purse.

“You… made this… for Marinette?”

“You don’t like it?”

“No! No, it’s gorgeous,” she rushed to assure him because, Adrien or not, when it came to style and taste, a compliment was due where it belonged. “I’m just amazed. You do have an eye for fashion, Adrien. The colours and shapes… they all blend so well together.”

He chuckled nervously. “Thank you. But it's only because of the extensive bead collection I have access to here at Gabriel that I was able to pull this off. Pretty sure it would’ve been a different story if I were to go bead shopping myself.”

“That’s why you’re here on Saturday night? To make this for her?”

“Yes,” Adrien sighed so dreamily, it sent pleasant shivers up Ladybug’s spine, tingling at the tips of her fingers. “I wish I could do more for her. Marinette deserves so much more.”

Freaking Agreste! 

Her heart pounding, Ladybug ignored the rising pain in her chest. “Why?”

 “Why what?” He looked at her in confusion.

“Why would you do this? The last I remember of Marinette, she was an ignorant, career-obsessed workaholic who couldn’t care less about her friends and family. I heard she pushed away everyone close to her—including her best friends. I heard she’d become cold and self-centred. She’d hurt everyone she knew. Why are you doing this for her?”

“Because I’m in love with her.”

Wind punched out of her lungs, Ladybug froze. Her legs gave way beneath her, and the only reason she didn’t crumble to the ground was because she was able to quickly lean on his desk.

“Because everything you just mentioned,” Adrien continued, “Was a result of my father’s presence in her life, not her character. It was partially my fault as well. I left her here alone. I knew Father would chew her up and spit her out, yet I still walked away. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that, but I’ll spend my life trying to earn her forgiveness.”

“But it’s not like she cared for your opinion or help—”

“That doesn’t matter,” Adrien interrupted. “I should’ve tried harder.”

Marinette bit her tongue. She said more than Ladybug should’ve known. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice. 

“You should visit her now,” Adrien continued. “My Father’s been out of her life for only a few months and she’s back to being her amazing self.” He grabbed his cellphone and opened one of the pictures he’d snapped of her today at lunch. “Look how beautiful she’s become. Can you see how happy she is? That smile? The light in her eyes? And when she works with her designs… Ladybug, you should see her then! Marinette just transforms. I’ve never seen anything like it. She’s such an inspiration in those moments. I mean, I’m starting to love this job only because of her, because of how fun and easy and interesting she makes it look.” Pausing for a moment, Adrien let a goofy smile run free on his lips as he whispered, “I didn’t even notice how or when I fell in love with Marinette, but it feels so natural loving her. And I know that after everything I’ve done, I probably don’t have much hope of her returning my feelings, but I don’t care. I love her enough to do whatever it takes to make her happy. Even if it’s as just a friend.” 

He fell silent for a moment, his eyes focusing on her picture in his cellphone. He ran his finger across the image and whispered, “Doesn’t mean I’m not hoping for more or that I won’t try my luck, but that’s a different story for a different day.”

Dumbfounded, Ladybug stared at Adrien in shock. Her heart pounding in her ears, she swallowed back the desire to kiss the man senseless. Her fingertips ached to touch him. She forced herself to stay still. His name slipped her lips. He looked at her, but Ladybug closed her eyes and bowed her head, inhaling deeply. 

You have a boyfriend! Get a grip!

You have Chat Noir who loves you. Her sweet, caring, and amazing Kitty who deserved her love more because he’d waited faithfully for years. Yes, Chat was beyond weird at the moment, but he still loved her. She still loved him! And she would never cheat on him.

“I’m sorry. I have to go,” she whispered and sprinted out of that office, running as fast as she could back to Chat Noir’s apartment where she could swaddle herself in Chat Noir’s blanket on Chat Noir’s bed and forget all about Adrien Agreste.

***

Marinette only had to survive a few more days. Her show was on Wednesday, and most of the work was done. Realistically, she could easily skip going to work on Monday but there was no way she’d do that. What if something went wrong at the last second? Adrien and her now undeniable feelings for him or not, Marinette couldn’t risk compromising the collection she worked so hard for. 

However, acting as though nothing had changed between them… she couldn’t do that either. Surviving the day in the man’s close proximity while being attracted to him like he was made of the finest, most delicious dark chocolate was hard enough. Knowing he was in love with her added a whole new dimension Marinette would rather forget. 

None of the countless akumas that she’d defeated over the years had ever given her such a struggle as her own heart at that moment. 

There were no options, though. Chat Noir was her choice and Marinette had come up with the perfect plan to win this battle. All she had to do was to stay away from Adrien to not give this… whatever it was between them a viable chance to grow. With time, he would get over her. After all, Felix was right—Adrien was hot, handsome, rich, and famous. There were bound to be a swarm of pretty girls on his trail soon enough to distract him from a lowly designer struggling to get a grip on her life. Once that happened, Marinette would have no choice but to forget about him. Hopefully with Chat Noir’s help. 

Unexpected aid in her quest came in the face of Alya, who by some miracle secured an ESMOD exam for Marinette at the end of the week. Judging by the ton of material Alya dropped for Marinette to review, it promised to be an extensive and hard test, but if Marinette were to pass, she’d obtain her fashion degree without going back to school. That gave her the perfect excuse to decline Adrien’s company on both Monday and Tuesday. She had studying to do and time was scarce. He understood and left her alone, but not before giving her the lucky charm he’d made. Marinette accepted it, but only because he had done a really impressive job and she didn’t want Adrien to suspect anything.

Wednesday couldn’t come soon enough. Marinette was wired from the get-go, barely sleeping the night before. During the show, with all the chaos behind the curtain, she barely had time to notice anyone as she ran around, making sure her collection was at its best. It was only at the After-Show Gala that she saw him again. 

In all his stupidly handsome glory, Adrien looked calm and collected as he mingled with people, no doubt basking in the praise that both men’s and women’s lines brought him as the company’s CEO. A few people congratulated her as well, but Marinette barely paid attention, skillfully maneuvering the room to avoid Adrien at all costs. She would’ve gone home, but as the main designer of the newest addition to Gabriel, she had to stay for at least a few hours before escaping. And escape was what she wanted more than anything. She still had dinner with Chat Noir to make, and she’d better get herself together before then.

Half an hour before her planned retreat, Marinette slipped out to the balcony. Being generously large, it was more of a terrace with breathtaking views of the city for visitors to enjoy. She crossed to the railing and leaned against it, surveying the skyline. The sun had just set, giving way for the city to come alive with lights. It sparkled and shimmered, mesmerizing her. The low hum of the noise off the streets and muffled sounds of chatter and music from the party behind her, Marinette closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She was almost there. Thirty minutes and she could escape. Tomorrow, Adrien would go back to the main office, and she would be able to focus on her relationship with Chat Noir without worrying about the emotional despair of having fallen for another man.

“Marinette?”

She cursed under her breath, hopefully silently enough for him not to hear it.

“Getting some fresh air?”

Mentally facepalming, she turned around with the most awkward smile on her face. “It was way too stuffy inside.”

“Tell me about it.” Adrien smiled at her, coming to stand by her side. He leaned on the railing next to her, his eyes never leaving hers. “I believe I haven’t congratulated you yet. All of your hard work paid off—a smashing hit of a collection and a few offers for distribution on my desk already. As of now, you’re the hottest asset of the day.”  

“Really?” She tried her best not to show Adrien just how much he affected her, standing so close. He had no right to be so… so perfect and sexy and handsome and… those kind, warm eyes of his…

Marinette bit on her lip, looking away. Adrien had always looked impeccable, but there was something about him at this moment that made her knees go weak and made those stupid butterflies stir in her belly. Was it the way he looked at her? Or perhaps his flawlessly put-together look? Or was it the knowledge of his feelings for her that made her want to kiss those lips of his?

“What do you think?”

Marinette blinked in confusion, looking back at him. She probably should’ve listened to what he was talking about all this time. “Um… I don’t know?”

An amused smile on his lips, Adrien chuckled. "Well, you have time to think about it, but if you'd like to choose a new assistant by yourself instead of me or HR doing it for you, just let me know. Okay?”

“Sure.” She nodded and scanned the area around them for anything that could be an excuse for her to leave because she had to get away, now! It was probably that small amount of alcohol that she’d drunk a little earlier that was getting to her because there was no way in hell she’d just thought about kissing him otherwise. 

“I’m sorry.” She straightened and turned for the exit. “I think I’ll head home now. Exhaustion is finally getting to me. I need some rest.”

Adrien looked disappointed, a moment later stepping closer. “Sure,” he said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Before you go, though, can I ask you for a favour?”

Not wanting to prolong their conversation longer than needed, Marinette simply nodded. 

Adrien stretched his hand to her with the most charming smile on his stupidly handsome face and, she swore, he purred. “Can you spare me one dance?”

An enrapturing sparkle in his eyes, his gaze called to her. 

Dance with me, Marinette. You know you want to.

The woman could hardly bring herself to say no. Her protest was just as weak as her knees. “We can barely hear the music out here.” 

“It’s loud enough for a dance.” He stepped closer, now mere inches away from her, and took her hand in his. “Please? I’ve waited all evening for a chance to dance with the star of the show.”

His touch, though gentle, burned where their skin met. Marinette almost snatched her hand away, but that would be beyond rude and she wasn’t a rude person. “I’m not feeling well enough to dance,” she murmured, averting her eyes to the side.

“Alright.”

Freaking Agreste had the nerve to look like a kicked puppy about to cry!

“But I think I can manage one dance,” she relented. 

Marinette swore it was someone else who said that. It couldn’t have been her! But his face lit up, and she didn’t have the heart to upset him again. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, gently squeezing her hand in his. 

A new melody started to play as if on cue. Adrien lifted Marinette’s hand in his, and wrapped his other one around her waist. She could hardly breathe with how close he was. His body warmth against hers was making her head spin. His breath fanned her face. He smelled of wine and crackers. Perhaps some cheese. She wasn’t sure. Those eyes, deep green and alluring, worked their magic, and Marinette forgot the whole world as Adrien led her around the terrace in a waltz.

It felt like flying. Stepping on clouds, everything long-forgotten but him and how close he held her. His arms, lean and strong, lovingly wrapped around her. His eyes never left hers. A gentle, loving smile on his lips. They smoothly glided across the terrace. Following his lead felt so natural and easy, a moment of pure bliss and serenity. She could easily lose herself in this. 

His presence intoxicated more than any alcohol she’d ever had. Paired with the soft music quietly flowing around them, it was a dangerous combination. She didn’t even notice when the song ended. They stood frozen, gazing into each other's eyes. Hers fluttered close as Adrien began to lean in. 

Everything forgotten, she held her breath in anticipation when the image of Chat Noir ripped her back to reality.

…

What was she doing?

Marinette pushed Adrien away and stepped back. “I… I can’t…” she whispered and ran towards the door.

“Marinette, wait!” Adrien caught her hand right before she reached the door. “Marinette, I’m sorry. I thought—it seemed like—like you—and I… I’m sorry. I didn’t want to cross any boundaries. I’m so sorry. I just… I’m in love with you, Marinette. Have been for some time. And I wanted to see if there was a chance for me… for us… If you could ever consider me as someone more than a friend.”

She shook her head fervently. Snatching her hand back, she clasped it to her chest, her mouth refusing to utter a single word. 

What was wrong with her?!

She almost kissed him!

And she wanted to do so! 

She wanted his attention. She was starved for affection, and her stupid boyfriend wasn’t giving it to her while an equally stupid Adrien was eager to take her in his arms. Was she so desperate to feel loved that she almost let him?

“Marinette, please. Say something.”

“I can’t,” she forced out, her eyes searching for anything to focus on that wasn’t him. 

“I have a boyfriend!” she shot at the blond, her mind working in overdrive to come up with a reason why she couldn’t be with him. There had to be something that would make Adrien go away. There had to be something that would push him far enough to give her space and time to retreat and build a better defence against his charms.

“And even if I was single, I could never be with you,” she fired angrily in desperation. “Our history—I can’t fully trust you, Adrien, and no relationship can ever work without trust. We can never be together!”

He flinched. 

Marinette grabbed onto that as her saving line. “I’m sorry, Adrien. I know you apologized and I swear I forgave you, but there is no unconditional trust anymore. There will always be this doubt in the back of my mind now, whispering that you might betray me or do something behind my back again. We can’t build a healthy relationship on that. No one can.”

His hands fell to his sides. The hurt on his face was too painful even for her to watch, so she turned away. 

“I don’t think a friendship would work for us either. I’m sorry.”

Almost ripping the door off its hinges in her desperation to get away before her weaknesses would take over her mind again, Marinette strode into the ballroom swarming with people. Loud music, idle chatter, careless laughs, the overbearing presence of everyone around her attacked her senses. 

She had to escape. 

She had to get away.

She headed for the door, noticing the bar in the corner of her vision.

She would escape.

She would run away and hide from everyone, but she needed a drink first.

To forget the look on his face. 

To dull the wound she just ripped through her own heart.

Next >

[delldarling]

chasing truth | merrick

implied past male faerie x male faerie male faerie x gender/body neutral reader 5823 words note: Aodhfin is pronounced EY-f-hin sfw | prologue ; a task given chapter index?

⊱ ────── .⋅ 🜁 ⋅. ────── ⊰

“Merrick is an absolutely horrid name,” Roran says, without prompting. He sounds indifferent, dark eyes focused on a distant point in the room, long fingers curled carelessly around the sharp angle of his jaw. He would look indifferent too, if Aodhfin didn’t know him intimately. Aodhfin recognizes the sullen, downward tilt to Roran’s lips, the shadows gathering under his brow. And the tension in his legs, crossed awkwardly at the ankles, like he’s trying desperately to appear relaxed and uncaring? There isn’t hiding any of that. Roran is angry. 

“I suppose what’s important is that I find it funny,” Aodhfin tells him with a shrug, tucking a trinket of a blade into his bag. “Merrick,” he says again, and then twice more, just to be sure. He tilts his head from side to side as he tests the rhythm of the name, white curls falling into his eyes. Aodhfin smiles down at his packing, small and sly, a hint of a dimple appearing at the corner of his mouth. 

The levity it brings to mind, the joke of it, is worth having to take on another name. After all, he can’t take his current one to the human realm. ‘Aodhfin’ is reserved for the halls of the Court of Air, gifted personally by the King. It’s far too intimate for the mouths of quick creatures like humans, and hearing it on ill suited tongues would only make him long to be home all the sooner. “More amusement never goes awry on tasks like these,” he adds, fussing over a pair of sandals he knows he shouldn’t be taking. He’ll have no use for them. Aodhfin packs them anyway, ignoring Roran’s shuddering, in-drawn breath.

“I still think it unwise that you’re going alone,” Roran bites out. He hasn’t moved. He’s still staring at that distant point, ink-dark hair just barely brushing the tops of his delicately pointed ears. He’s losing his composure though, jaw clenched, thrumming with tension the longer Aodhfin stares. 

“Questioning the King?” Aodhfin finally asks archly, abandoning all pretense with his bag and pushing it away from himself. He needs to nip this bout of temper in the bud before he leaves, or he’ll never hear the end of it. Roran is much too attached, despite Aodhfin’s repeated refusals, and the King will take issue if this goes on much longer. It would be best for the both of them to avoid a personal reprimand.

“Hardly!” Roran snaps, but he finally turns to look Aodhfin in the eye, pushing himself stiffly to his feet. His wings flare open to help him keep his balance, light catching the faint iridescence and casting wheeling prisms across the floor. “I question your judgement,” he whispers harshly, as if he’s worried about being overheard. “The King wouldn’t care one whit if you asked for a partner. Not only have we worked together before, we work well-”

Aodhfin crosses the room in two short strides and clasps Roran’s shoulder before he can continue. His fingers press just shy of too hard into the wiry muscle, a quiet, though regretful, warning. His heart is heavy - he doesn’t want to hurt Roran, but the idiot is going to become a nuisance for everyone if Aodhfin doesn’t do his best to make things clear. Which means it will have to hurt.

“I don’t need you,” Aodhfin says softly. The words come out clear and easy, and there’s no hint of sourness upon his tongue or in the expression on his face. They’re the truth. Anyone with eyes can spot it, clear in the straight line of his lips.

Roran tenses, wheezes, as if he’s been stabbed through the heart. His freckles are stark in his pale face, dark eyes void of any of their typical humor. He knows then, that Aodhfin doesn’t just mean on this task, but here. In his private quarters. 

“You have your own orders to attend to,” Aodhfin follows it with, verbally distancing himself, “and I can complete this on my own. Now, when I get back and I find you passing time with Kiera or Muiren, or both-” and now Roran’s cheeks flame, as red as the blooms that pepper the mountainside of the Court. “Ah, you thought I didn’t know?” Aodhfin laughs, and pushes Roran away. The push is gentle, and not unkind, but the longer Aodhfin stares with a smile on his lips, the more tense Roran becomes. His eyes dart to the side, a guilty tell that he only ever seems to display with Aodhfin - though Aodhfin is fairly sure that Roran lets the tell come through, and… That’s the problem, really. Roran has never held any part of himself back, and Aodhfin has never been able to find a part of himself to give. 

“You don’t-” Roran says softly and nearly flinches when Aodhfin lifts his hand to place it back upon his shoulder. His touch is much gentler this time, barely there, almost clinical.

“I’ve told you, Roran. My heart remains my own.” Sometimes Aodhfin wishes he felt even a hint of sadness in saying that. It would be easier for them both, but for Roran especially, if he loved him. He cares, but that’s all he can muster when he deigns to think about his feelings. Aodhfin rarely considers them anyway, not when he loves his work so thoroughly, loves the places it takes him, the secrets he learns- No. Not friendship, nor pity, can push him to change his feelings. 

“When I find that you’re passing time with one or both of them - and I don’t blame you if you are,” Aodhfin teases, arching a brow in a jovial manner. Roran glances away again, shy, for all his bluster. “I would be perfectly happy to celebrate with the lot of you. As friends. After all,” Aodhfin says, straightening up and touching a hand to his chest, sketching out a bow that is all theatrics with fluttering wings. The floor is a dizzying array of color when the sunlight catches his wings, too. “When I get back, my work will have united the Courts. I’ll be a hero.” Aodhfin straightens as he finishes speaking, smile turned slightly pompous.

Roran’s chest rises as he sucks in a deep breath, but in the end he only exhales, whatever words he’d planned so carefully left unsaid. He already knows that nothing he says could ever change Aodhfin’s mind.

“I still hate the name. You don’t look like a Merrick,” Roran insists, glancing around the sparsely decorated room. There are a few useless trinkets cluttered together on a shelf, gifts that Roran had given him, mostly, but even those don’t quite make the place look lived in. Aodhfin is gone far too often. 

“I feel like one though,” Aodhfin- Merrick - says. The name will settle, as much a part of him as the one he was born with, as every one given to him since, and with it will come widespread recognition of his accomplishments and accolades from both the King of Air and the Queen of Land. “Besides, can you imagine the traitor’s face when I tell him I chose it because of him? They rhyme.” Aodhfin tilts back his head to laugh, utterly delighted by the thought.

The laughter proves to be too much for Roran. His mouth quivers, eyes caught on the beauty mark on Aodhfin’s chin. For a moment, Aodhfin thinks he might cry.

“You’re idiotic,” Roran snaps at him, and his voice has gone sullen again, though his expression is back to his typical stoicness. He retreats back to his seat, hands clenching tightly to his knees, knuckles tense and pale. 

“My humor is simply wasted on you,” Aodhfin laments with a sigh, turning back to his packing. He’s unable to stop the twitch of irritation zipping through his wings. “The King will appreciate the irony though. He thinks I’m funny,” he says, and tucks a pale curl behind his ear. His finger pauses, stroking, and then his hand freezes over the pointed cartilage, eyebrows drawing together in concern. The sudden stillness, the change that comes over Aodhfin, clues Roran in almost immediately.

“Have you seen the error of your ways, or is something bothering you?” Roran asks, tone sharp, as if he’s hoping to spite him by asking such an inane question.

“Too much glamour will be like a beacon to the traitor,” Aodhfin mutters, ignoring Roran’s request for him to speak up. “It won’t be an issue,” he throws over his shoulder, before Roran can truly get going with some kind of tirade. “But, as we were speaking of Kiera, send her my way, won’t you?”

The silence behind him is so rife with tension, with anger, that he wonders for just a moment if Roran is going to throw something at him. He doesn’t dare turn around and invite further ire. Roran is hurt already, there’s no need for Aodhfin to add fuel to the fire by pestering him. The atmosphere starts to ease- and then the door slams shut, rattling his lonely shelf and the useless trinkets lined up by size.

Aodhfin sighs.

Roran will do as he’s asked, if only because Aodhfin asked, and he asks for so little from him. Kiera won’t thank Aodhfin for the tide of emotion she’s going to be left with though. He’ll have to promise a favor for her help.

...Which will only make Roran angrier that he can’t lend aid somehow, though he doesn’t have any of what Aodhfin will need where he’s going. Roran has even less experience with humans than he does.  

“He’ll get over it,” he muses and steps away from his bed to glance around the room. There’s nothing left that he needs to take, though his gaze lingers on the shelf and some of the items Roran’s given to him. If he takes one of them, no matter which, he knows that it will completely mollify Roran’s anger. And yet... If he takes any one of them, Roran will likely hold onto his hope that something will change. He swallows, knowing what his decision should be, will be, but- 

Aodhfin looks away, choking down regret, just as the door swings open on creaking hinges. 

“That was rather fast of you,” he says, pasting on an easy smile as he turns towards the door, expecting to see Roran in the frame. 

The King stands there, a wry smile on his thin, pointed lips. Aodhfin has the chance to spy long, dark windswept hair and topaz gold eyes before he drops to his knees, one forearm across his chest, while the other is thrown out to help him to balance. His wings are laid close to his back in a subservient gesture, held utterly still so as not to offend.

“My King,” Aodhfin greets, barely daring to draw breath lest he risk his wings shifting with the motion.

“Expecting another?” The King asks, curious. A heavy dragging noise drowns out his footsteps, the King’s fair feathered wings brushing over smooth stone, until he comes to a slow stop in front of Aodhfin. 

“Kiera, your Majesty,” Aodhfin breathes out, almost trembling when the King taps a fingertip to the back of his skull. The curved edge of a nail just barely pricks his skin before the King retracts his touch. Aodhfin lifts his head, slowly, heat crawling down his spine when the King laughs. There’s always been an echo when the older Fae speak, a shadow to their voices that gives hint to their talents. The sound of leaves rustling and wings flapping seems to trail after the King’s every word, frightening and awe inspiring, all at once. 

“She’s overfond of humanity, isn’t she?” The King asks, and the way he asks, the unpleasant tone of his voice- Aodhfin… He may not hold any special love for Kiera, but that tone makes Aodhfin want to lie. 

It’s the urge of every young being, mind wanting to supply words before thought can form, though Aodhfin can beat it down. There’s no use in lying to the King, and he’s no desire for the sourness of a lie to twist his tongue and stop his words. 

“Fascinated, I believe. Fond of artisans, perhaps?” There is no fault in that, at least. The Fae as a whole have been fond of those who create for a millenia. “I thought to borrow some of her uncommon work. Glamour will hide me from humans, but draw attention from-”

“The traitor,” the King sighs, eyes closing, heavy, sooty lashes fanning across his cheek. “Correct. You think well ahead,” he says, and the compliment sings through Aodhfin’s veins. “I knew I had chosen wisely.” The words leave Aodhfin feeling as brilliant as the fire he was named for. His wings buzz against each other before he forces himself to be still. “I know you will do everything you can,” the King says, and there’s a sudden weight to his speech, golden eyes locked with Aodhfin’s dark ones, intent on getting his point across. “But I would like you to promi-”

“Merrick, now, is it?” Kiera barks out, slamming the door open with a swirl of skirts and tousled red hair. She takes a half step inside, and then chokes, promptly dropping to her knees at the sight of the King. She whimpers, frightened enough that her wings vanish into her flesh, hands shaking around the sack she’d been carrying. She clutches it weakly to her chest. “Your Majesty,” she manages to say, not daring to lift her face. 

The King’s hands tense and curl into fists at his sides, his eyes blazing with fury. For a moment Aodhfin is sure that the King is going to strike Kiera. He’ll have to shield her then, no matter how much or little care he feels for her, he could never just stand by and watch. As soon as he tenses, ready to throw himself in the way, the King whirls away from them both, his wings and shoulders trembling. 

“I’ve other matters,” he says, voice frigid, void of emotion. “Do as you’re told, Merrick,” he adds, wind echoing heavily in his words, and strides for the door. His wings are the barest whisper over the stone, and he doesn’t react in the slightest when Kiera has to throw herself to the side to get out of his way. He doesn’t close the door behind him. 

Both Aodhfin and Kiera are still for likely far too long afterward, but it’s Kiera who finally gets to her unsteady feet, frowning. “How.. how long has the King been visiting your private chambers?” She asks idly, and then grimaces when Aodhfin says nothing, his expression unchanging. “Never mind. Glamour, then?” She asks, tone brisk as she opens the sack in her hands and starts tossing out clothes on the bed. 

Aodhfin lingers in his kneeling position on the ground, suddenly wanting to put off using his new name for as long as possible. He’d agreed to nothing, and the King hadn’t even gotten the chance to explain - but something about the whole ordeal feels… Strange. This might not be the first time the King has given him a task, out of view of the Court, but it is the first he’s ever hinted at a promise.

He gets to his feet, wincing when they prickle, and glances at the bed. Kiera’s hands are still trembling, but Aodhfin won’t dare draw attention to it. Instead he let’s the clothing catch his attention, notes the cut of them and the plain brown, green, or fair colored shades. A single flash of brilliant red catches his eye, the last item out of Kiera’s sack. It’s a cap, laid out over the top of the pile and it looks… It looks like it should be his - Merrick’s. He’s Aodhfin no longer, then. The King had Named him, truly.

“What will this cost me?” Merrick asks, arching an eyebrow as he picks up the cap. The texture is soft, but the weave is heavier than most Fae use these days. He wonders if this is the product of those large wooden needles Kiera carried around with her for over a month, brandishing them like daggers whenever anyone teased her. 

“What will you give?” Kiera asks sharply, crossing her arms over her chest when he lifts his eyes from the cap. Her gaze is razor sharp, expectant. 

Merrick stares at her for a moment too long, and then his nose wrinkles. He knows exactly what she wants, what her and Muiren both have been desperate for, ever since Roran proclaimed his intentions to court Aodhfin, and Aodhfin alone. “You want me to swear him off?” He asks, pleasant mood fading. “I’ve already claimed my heart as my own, Kiera. I confess, I’m not sure what else I can do that won’t come off as-”

“I know,” she interrupts with a sigh, shoulders slumping, glancing down at the floor, guilt in the purse of her lips. “And he would never forgive me. I just want him to move on from you, even if it isn’t with me.” Her eyes trace over the paltry gifts on the shelf and then shoot back to Merrick. “He hasn’t been kind to himself,” she says quietly, worrying at her lower lip before she continues. “Not when it comes to you.”

Merrick does his best to ignore her words, and tugs the hat over his head. He willingly lets Kiera dart in close, adjusting it until his ears are covered and his hair isn’t matted around his face. His hair will always be a strange shade of white, but he’s heard that humans are fond of dyes these days. Or perhaps he can claim an illness.

“If nothing else, that is why I believe he would be happiest with you,” Merrick murmurs, grabbing at the next item in the towering pile of clothing. “I’ll be forced to wear my wings in my skin,” he says sadly, noting the lack of holes on the backs of the garments. “You have my blessing, not that I should give it. I am not, cannot, be what he wants,” Merrick says decisively, meeting Kiera’s reserved gaze. “I will not promise any-”

“I suppose that’s payment enough,” she says with a sigh, turning away and trying not to frown. She fails, refusing to look back at him, to see him witnessing her unhappiness. She’s twisting a lock of hair round and round her hands, worried enough that the emotion is fast chasing away the awkwardness. “Don’t die, will you?” She asks finally. “I would rather not pick up those pieces.”

Merrick says nothing at all to that. Nothing he could or would say in response to such a request will be the complete truth, and there’s no reason to give any of them, himself included, false hope.

“I do believe you’ll come back alive, if that helps any,” Kiera backtracks, sensing the dour mood overtaking him. From anyone else, the statement would be too much of a falsehood to even attempt to utter - but Kiera does believe it, and she wants it. If only for Roran’s sake.

Merrick wants to believe it too, though. That he will come out of this alive. The traitor is nothing more than one of the Queen of Land’s gardeners, spouting lies that might prevent the uniting of the Courts.  Merrick has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, if only he does this one thing. It’s just that… The King’s visit had been a strange one, and he has very little time, if any, to seek the King out for clarification. He was supposed to be able to relax in the Court for a few more hours, but it doesn’t matter now.

“You’ll have to find more clothes while you’re there,” Kiera adds, when Merrick doesn’t show any signs of responding. Her hands have stopped their constant fidgeting. “Humans own more than two pairs of hose and a good shirt these days, and while I think these won’t draw unneeded attention-”

“Muiren says that humans once walked about bare,” he murmurs, lifting a long sleeved item up to his chest. They’ll all fit, of that he has no doubt, but his wings- It’s a shame he’ll have to hide them.

Kiera scoffs. “Muiren is only a few years older than Roran. Neither of them have any notion of what humans are like or what they’ve done. You should know that, Aodh- Merrick.” Kiera watches him in silence, likely recounting everything he’s done wrong with the clothing in front of him, but eventually she shakes her head.

“When do you leave?” She asks, gaze darting around the room. She’s likely eager to get back to Roran, to comfort him - or to escape the scene of her less than cordial encounter with the King.

“Today. Tonight,” he tells her, opening his bag back up and shoving a few of the clothes inside. He keeps out a long sleeved shirt and a pair of dark trousers. “Unless you have instructions for me, you’re free to go.” Merrick finally looks her in the face, noting the tight corners of her mouth, the concern still writ in her hazel eyes. “I won’t forget this,” he says, by way of thanks, reaching up to tap at the red cap on his head.

Kiera looks torn. She’s still facing him, but her eagerness to leave is palpable. “The only thing you can’t forget is this,” she says quickly, back to her usual self, “no dying.” Her eyes meet his for a single moment, and then she walks out. The door clicks shut behind her, leaving Merrick alone.

“Human clothes,” he mutters to the empty room and proceeds to strip off his things, arching his wings as far as he can to either side and relishing the stretch of his muscles. It’s not uncomfortable, wearing his wings in his skin, but he can’t say he’s used to it. The Fae he tracks are generally too frightened to leave Faerie entirely, and wings like his are common enough. He hasn’t needed to hide his wings in years, and when last he had, the task had lasted only a few short days. This one will likely last the month, at least.

He smooths his hands over his own shoulders, his wings following, leaving nothing more than ink dark lines behind before he pulls on the clothes. He adjusts his hat one last time, and snatches up his bag. “Be b-” Merrick starts to say idly, and then bites his tongue viciously, unused to the sour tang. Be back soon is too close to a lie, then.

It’s not as if there’s much he’s leaving behind anyway. Merrick sighs, shouldering his bag on his newly wingless back, and leaves. His hand might linger a fraction of a second upon the door handle, but he doesn’t look back.

And yet, every hall he walks down, Merrick finds himself pausing. His eyes trail over the fine details carved into stone pillars, they linger on the glowing cloud lights, bobbing down the halls with every breath of wind or flutter of wings. What memories he has of his parents are vague, so the Court is nearly all he’s ever known, but.. He’s always found himself more at ease outside the mountain. He drags a hand over the roughly hewn walls, caught in old memories, and then spots one of the King’s Pages. She’s a slip of a young fae, proudly sporting the heavy looking brooch of her rank on her small shoulders.

“The King,” Merrick blurts, rushing to stop her before she can leave the hall. Her wings flare, feet lifting off the ground for a moment in surprise. “Could you tell me-”

Her narrow eyed glare makes him pause, her feet touching back down when he keeps his hands to himself. “The King, last I heard,” she says, high voice gone haughty, “asked to be left undisturbed. I’ve little idea where he might be, but if you need an audience, you’ll have to wait with the rest two days from now. He’s much too busy to mitigate any kind of disputes right here in the hall.”

Merrick grits his teeth, but lets her snub him, tossing her hair over her shoulder and fluttering her fragile looking wings. There are four of them, opaque and frail without the sun catching their iridescence, and he rather thinks that she might put on a burst of speed to leave the hall behind. She’s coasting on the current of her status then, and is likely quite new. 

Even when Merrick turns to other Court denizens though, he can’t seem to find pinion nor down feather of the King. If he pushed, if he made a fuss, Merrick might be able to track him down, but the thought doesn’t sit well with him. If the King has sequestered himself, has told his pages to leave him undisturbed, he’ll simply have to continue with the task he was given, promise unmade.

He heads for the cliffs on the Eastern side of the mountain, and the rippling Veil, almost visible if you look straight down over the edge. He’s tarried far longer than he should, and the sun is already fast setting, turning the Court of Air golden in its last rays. Merrick takes one last look, but his gaze is caught by the Veil and the shifting shapes beyond it. He concentrates on thoughts of the traitor, of the task he’s been given, and then steps off the cliff face, free-falling.

There’s a single moment of breathlessness, and then the Veil is crackling through his hair. Merrick slides into a roll, tumbling over the rooftop of a human building and coming to a stop in the middle of laundry lines, sheets snapping in the wind.

He sets himself up on the rim of the roof, a small scroll open on his lap so he can sketch out a rough map of the city. It isn’t until he’s half finished, ink leaf growing brittle and dry in his hand, that he realizes how little information he has to go on.

The traitor is a gardener, no one of consequence, normally. Perhaps he’d been given a distasteful task? Whatever the actual reason, something had driven him to tell lies great enough that it was threatening the uniting of the Courts. Merrick wasn’t sure how the gardener could - he’d over ever tasted the beginning of a potential lie, and he’d never been able to finish it. To say them repeatedly? 

“Perhaps he’s human-born,” Merrick murmurs, mulling over the thought, and the brand new map of the human city. Even if the gardener is human-born, it likely won’t matter. Human parentage isn’t something terribly uncommon, but it’s generally ignored. The rumor though, is that those that hold even a drop of human blood are supposedly better at bending a truth to their own ends. He doesn’t need information about the gardener’s parentage, not really, but part of Merrick does wonder at the truth of it. He hopes the gardener hasn’t gone so mad with lies that he no longer makes sense or has become a danger to others. The humans will be cut down in seconds. Though if he has, it’ll be much easier to find him. He taps at one of the green areas he’d detailed on the map, thinking of gardeners and the proclivities of those Fae who reside within the Land Court, tracing the outline that he can just barely spy from the rooftop. 

Merrick doubts the gardener will be there though. If it had been an easy assignment, the King wouldn’t have sent him in the first place. The gardener hid much too well, and had escaped someone from his own Court once already. His hand moves to what he hopes is the market district. If he’s masquerading as a human, he’ll need to pick up supplies, if only to keep up appearances.

He wishes that he were allowed to use his wings to help speed his search, but he’ll have to wait for the night to do anything of the sort. Those small squares of electricity the humans all seem to carry don’t guarantee he won’t be seen though. He’s been watching them from the building edge all afternoon, tapping away at the little things - taking photos. Merrick’s last memory of human photography involved great hulking cameras and frames of fragile glass. The humans truly change so fast. 

A door scrapes open to his right, and a very human gasp reaches his ears. Merrick tilts his head, meeting an old man’s eyes through sheets and clothes fluttering in the wind, and arches his eyebrows. 

“Son,” the man says, dropping his laundry basket and raising his gnarled hands, like he’s ready to reach for Merrick, to pull him away from the drop. “Could you- could you come away from the edge?” He sounds choked, rheumy eyes wide and scared.

“Ah,” Merrick says, sitting back up, one leg still dangling over the edge. “I won’t jump, if that’s what you’re getting at. Would you mind telling me where one might find gardening equipment?” He shakes out the map, pointing at a spot that seems likely.The panic on the elderly man doesn’t ebb, but he no longer looks ready to keel over. “I’m- I’m sorry?” He asks, hands only dropping very slowly.

The words make Merrick’s nose wrinkle. “Perhaps you are,” he offers, hoping he sounds proper. “A market, however. Where would we find one?” He swings his leg back onto the roof, not wanting to startle the old fellow more than he already has, and gets to his feet. He’s a fair bit taller than the man, so he keeps what he hopes is an acceptable distance, not wanting to tower over him, and displays the map so it can be easily read. 

The old man blinks, glancing past Merrick to the building edge and then back to the map. “Son, how did you ever get up here?” His arms cross over his chest, but the motion doesn’t read as defensive or aggressive. The old man is still scared. 

None of what he could say will make the man happy. The veil between your world and Faerie is particularly thin at the right corner, would only leave the man thinking Merrick crazy. I jumped, won’t help much either. There will be follow up questions that he’s both unable and unwilling to answer.

“You don’t know where the market is?” Merrick asks, letting his shoulders slump. Perhaps the man will assume he’s a very strange foreigner. He just hopes he won’t decide to call the local guard. That would turn things ugly fairly quickly. “Then could you direct me to someone who does?”

The panic is gone, though the confusion isn’t. “What kind of supermarket are you looking for? We have, we have too many shopping centers, if you ask me, but I still don’t see-”

“The largest then,” Merrick interrupts, realizing he’ll have better luck asking someone he hasn’t inadvertently frightened. Once the old man gets talking though, Merrick isn’t sure he’s going to stop. He has too much to say about parking structures and the state of traffic - but he is all too happy to give Merrick directions. He makes careful note of them, though he wonders at the length of steps he’s supposed to take, and then heads straight for the door the man left open, murmuring a hasty farewell.

Apartment buildings, Merrick finds, are confusing things. His elderly acquaintance has to give him another set of directions to the stairs in the end, and then mistakenly assumes that Merrick must be a new tenant. 

It almost makes him laugh, though. Humans are all too quick to answer their own questions, and he doesn’t even have to attempt to circumvent a lie of any kind. It turns out that apartment buildings are less confusing than the market. The sheer number of the quick creatures is absolutely staggering, but the old man had assured Merrick that this was the largest market. He has his doubts about finding Garrick in this place - a gardener to the Queen of Land, amidst all this man-made material? But he supposes it will serve as a good place for research. At least there are clothes. He picks at the shirt Kiera gave him, noting that the copper buttons at the collar are of.. Much higher quality than what many of the humans are wearing.

He needs human currency then, and clothes. He turns on his heel, keen on finding a pocket to pick and just barely avoids a running child. He scowls at the little beast, brushing the curls out of his eyes and takes another step-

Straight into you.

You stumble, shimmering square of electricity flying from your hand, but Merrick snatches it before it can crash to the ground. You save yourself, unsteady, but still on your feet, arms out to either side for balance. 

“Holy-” You laugh, apparently not caring about Merrick nearly knocking you to the stone - though you rub awkwardly at your shoulder. “That was a great catch!”

The device is heavy, he notes. Man-made, then, full of iron. He grabs your hand, shoving the device back into it and then takes a step back, eyes darting to either side of you. Some of the humans are looking, though the lack of yelling has several of them continuing on without comment. 

“Not hurt?” He asks, because that’s the human thing to do, isn’t it? 

“Maybe my pride,” you murmur, glancing yourself over. You open your mouth again, a small smile growing on your face as you meet his eyes, but Merrick wants no part of it. You’re useless as a mark - he’s made himself memorable, and you seem keen on continuing a conversation, which won’t help.

“Good,” he blurts and then sidesteps you entirely, ignoring the questioning noise you make as he walks away. He can’t afford to have any distractions: Currency, clothing, and studying the map of the city. That’s all he needs to think about for the rest of the day. He finds himself glancing back over his shoulder, just to check that you aren’t following, and sucks in a breath when he finds your eyes still upon him.

⊱ ────── .⋅ 🜁 ⋅. ────── ⊰

...turn the page?

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Shadows of the Neon Lights - fic

Characters: Jason Todd, Damian Wayne Summary: He didn’t know what was more surprising - that someone else had come after him, or that it was Jason Todd, of all people, trying to stop him from killing. A/N: For Patreon supporter Leydy! Happy birthday sweet human, and thank you for all your support and kindness! You’re amazing! This is obviously some time after the Teen Titans Annual 2 confrontation/after Ric and Alfred’s death.

~~

He had the man right where he wanted. A wannabe serial killer who hadn’t found his stride yet, but already killed three sex workers. Each in a different way, so no one had found the connection yet.

But Damian had.

He’d followed him for days, and now he had him next to the dumpster behind the strip joint he was casing for his next victim.

The man was sniveling and crying. Begging for his life as Damian pressed the dagger against his throat.

Damian didn’t care. This bastard deserved it.

So he smiled, and pulled the knife back. Then spun it to grasp it in his fist, aimed it to plunge right into the man’s chest.

One less scumbag in the world.

But right as he began to drop his hand, a gunshot rang out, and the blade shattered in his fingers.

The man shrieked, and Damian jumped back with a curse. He glanced over as the Red Hood strolled out of the alleyway, dramatically blowing the smoke from his gun’s barrel.

“What’d he do?” Jason asked carefully, removing his helmet.

“Killed three women. Staking out a fourth.” Damian snapped. “But that doesn’t matter to you, he’s my ki-”

Jason’s gun went off again. The man jerked once, then collapsed to the ground, a hole between his eyebrows.

“Not your kill.” Jason hummed. “Robin doesn’t have kills.”

“In case you haven’t heard.” Damian drawled, kicking at the now-dead man’s leg as he stepped over him. “I’m not Robin anymore.”

“Yeah, B told me.” Jason shrugged, and that seemed to just make Damian more annoyed. “What’s up with that?”

Damian scoffed, crossed his arms and turned to look down the alley behind him. “Like you care.”

“I do, actually. You’re my kid brother, whether either of us like it or not.” Jason countered. “And even I’m not so stubborn as to ignore the fact that we’ve all been through a lot lately. It takes a toll.” Jason glanced down at him. “And no one’s checked in with you about it all, have they?”

Damian refused to look at him. “You said Father told you.”

“He did. But I don’t take his word for anything.” Jason smirked. “…I do believe him on the you not being Robin anymore, and also going on a killing spree thing, though.”

“It’s not a spree.” Damian hissed. “It’s what needs to be done.”

“But not by you.” Jason argued. “I thought Dickie got you off that path.”

Damian turned away from him completely now.

“…Ah. So Bruce was telling the truth.” Jason murmured. “This really is about what happened to Dick and Alfred.”

Damian didn’t answer. Stared down at the dead body.

“What happened wasn’t your fault.” Jason promised. Then he lowered his voice. “Especially not to Alfred.”

“I was there. I should have done something.” Damian whispered.

“You were tied up and unconscious.” Jason tried, stepping forward. “What were you supposed to do?”

“Fight back. Literally, anything.” Damian returned. “But what I didn’t do then, I’m doing now.”

“Killing them before they hurt too many, or anyone else.” Jason nodded. “In their honor, right?”

“I suppose.”

“You weren’t there for Dick’s situation.” Jason crossed his arms now too. Thoughtfully. “How were you supposed to stop that one?”

“Killed KGBeast when he became a known player.” Damian decided. “He would have been dead years ago, so unavailable to take the mission.”

“Sure, then someone else would have been asked to do it.” Jason sniffed. “And then they might have been a better shot.”

Damian didn’t respond to that. Didn’t move. Jason glanced him over, checked for any injuries or illness. Kid seemed fine at a glance. Just dirty, clothes starting to wear out. A few new holes that probably weren’t there when he started this little crusade.

Jason sighed.

“They wouldn’t want this for you, Damian.” Jason whispered. “Alfred or Dick.”

“Well, they’re not here to stop me, are they?” Damian snapped. His arms were still crossed, but now he seemed to bend in on himself. Hug himself.

“No, they’re not.” Jason agreed. “But I am.”

That made Damian turn around in surprise.

“And yes, before you whine about it, I’m fully aware it makes me a hypocrite.” Jason raised his hands in defense. “But we’ve lost enough this year. Excuse me if I’m not keen on adding you and your morality to that damn list.”

“…It’s what needs to be done.” Damian murmured sadly. “And Batman refuses to do it. That’s why, after all these years he’s been active, Gotham is still a hellhole. That’s why he loses those he claims to love time after time after damn time.”

Jason nodded. “Then I’ll do it. Not you.”

“I’m the most equipped to handle it!” Damian shouted now, stomping back at him. “I’ve been trained to do just this for my entire life!”

“And you shouldn’t have been!” Jason yelled back. “Talia should have protected you. Dick should have protected you better. Bruce should have talked to you about all this before he realized you’d already reached your fucking breaking point!”

“So then what else do you want me to do?!” Damian almost begged, tears welling up in his eyes. “Sit at home with the rest of you and grieve? Keep doing everything I was, like the only two people who ever cared about me weren’t ripped out of my life for no reason?!”

“I want you to slow down.” Jason said, tone instantly softer as he took hold of Damian’s shoulders. “I want you to let us take care of you.”

“Well I want to make sure no one goes through what we have.” Damian mumbled in return, the fight instantly leaving his system. “…What I have.”

“And I get that. I do.” He smiled and gestured to himself. “I mean, hello? I totally understand.” He let his smile drop. “But before we take care of everyone else, why don’t we try taking care of you first?” He paused for a second, squeezed Damian’s arms. “Why don’t we do it together?”

Damian just stared at him. “I can take care of myself.”

“Sure. Totally. So can I.” Jason winked. “But humour me. Just this once.”

Damian glanced down at Jason’s hands on his arms. “…You’re not going to let me go until I agree, will you?”

“You were taught better than to let your enemies get too close, remember?” Jason smiled.

Damian sighed and rolled his eyes. “Why do you care so much, Todd? What does it matter to you what I do?”

“Because as surprising as it may be, I don’t want you to end up like me.” Jason said honestly. A little too honestly for Damian’s taste. “You deserve better than… this.”

Damian looked him up and down. “…No I don’t.”

“A debate we can have later.” Jason laughed. “So, what do you say? Will you come home with me?”

Damian immediately jerked back in his hold, almost tripping over the dead body that Jason practically forgot was there. “No. No way.” He said immediately. “I am not going back to the manor.”

“Slow your roll, kiddo, you didn’t let me finish!” Jason called, reeling him back in. “You know I don’t live at the manor. When I say home, I mean come back to my home. A safehouse outside the city.”

Damian hesitated at that, eyeing Jason warily.

“I won’t even tell B that I found you, or that you’re with me.” Jason promised. “And I know you’re already itching to run. So at the very least, let me take you back to my place, get you a hot meal, a shower, and one decent night’s sleep. Then we’ll talk for real after that. Okay?”

Damian tilted his head, glancing up at the strip club in thought.

And it was a 50-50 chance that it would work. It could make the kid collapse in tears, or convince him to pull out that second knife Jason knew he had hidden on him and stab it into Jason’s throat. But he had to try. He had to.

“…It’s what Dick and Alfie would want you to do.”

To his surprise, Damian didn’t react immediately. Still kept his eyes upwards as he thought. Then, finally, he lowered his gaze to Jason. He blinked slowly, and Jason only now realized how tired the kid looked. Sad.

Lonely.

“Fine.” Damian said quietly after a moment. “I will take your food.”

Jason hadn’t realized his heart was tight with tension until it loosened at his words. He smiled and ruffled the kid’s hair as he stood, sliding his other hand down Damian’s arm until their fingers tangled together.

Damian didn’t even try to let go.

Jason glanced back at the dead man – who did deserve it, Damian wasn’t wrong about that – and made sure there was nothing around the body that would implicate Damian at least. When he saw nothing, he nodded and tugged the kid along behind him in the alleyway.

“Have any preference for dinner?”

“…Anything edible, I suppose.” Damian muttered  thoughtfully. As if on cue, his stomach rumbled lightly. Jason smiled sympathetically.

“Well, that rules out anything I know how to cook.” Jason joked. He heard Damian snort a laugh behind him. That was as good a start as any. “So how about we find some nice, greasy takeout instead?”

Damian squeezed his hand, and Jason took that as silent gratitude. A thanks he was too embarrassed to admit. “That sounds perfect.”

[queen-of-the-avengers]

It’s A Match!

Characters: Sebastian Stan x Suzanne Annucci (second person; you; you’re)

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: love at first sight, sebastian fluff, soulmates

Summary: Sebastian explains the pull he feels whenever he looks at you. How whenever he looks at you, he sees the rest of his life. Chris doesn’t understand it yet, but you’re the person Sebastian is meant to be with.

Part One

Part Two

Author’s Note: This is the third part of seven parts of the commission for @sea040561​​.

You don’t remember anything from your last dialysis treatment. All you know was that you were watching the Marvel movies when someone came into your room. It might have been a nurse to sit with you, but you’re not exactly sure who it was. Your chest catheter has been removed, and in its place is an AV graft. It feels weird to have something right beneath your skin, but you need it there if you want to live.

You’re able to go back to work provided you take it easy, but when are you never not careful? Since leaving the hospital, you feel ten times better than you did before because you got your dialysis treatment. You still hurt and are in constant pain, but it’s better than it was before.

Your boss was skeptical about letting you go back to work despite having a doctor’s note saying that you could, but you really just want to go back to work and continue living as if everything is normal. As soon as you got back to work, all of your coworkers shows just how much they missed you.

They brought balloons, made a banner, had a ton of food you couldn’t even eat, got you “get well soon” cards, and gave you lots of meaningless gifts. You should be happy you have a team to fall back on when things get tough, but this had the complete opposite effect on you. You should feel happy that they did this for you, but you feel empty. You should feel happy that you have people who care about you, but you feel sad inside.

None of these people know what it’s really like, and none of them make the effort to get to your illness. Each and every one of them talks about how sorry they feel and how they wish they could make you feel better, but you bet half of them don’t even know what an AV graft is. You have no one on your side, and that’s pretty fucking lonely.

The only time you actually felt like you were comfortable and felt safe is when that stranger came into your hospital room and sat with you through the session. They didn’t have to, but they did. You don’t know who they are, but you know you felt completely safe with them by your side. It drives you insane not to know who they are, but maybe they’ll show up next time or the time after that.

Hopefully, you’ll get to know the mysterious stranger who thought it was a good idea to take time out of their day to come and sit with you. In the meantime, you’ll just have to work and pretend like everything is fine… like always.

All Sebastian could think about as soon as he got tested, was you. Chris likes to tease him about it, but all Sebastian wants is another afternoon with you. He’d rather sit through every movie he’s ever made with you instead of going to Hollywood parties and pretending like everything is fine.

Chris thinks he’s crazy for going back, but once Sebastian has his mind on something, then there is no changing it. Sebastian drove to the hospital, excited to even get a glimpse at you. He doesn't know if the nurses will let him in, but he’s going to try his damnest to sit with you again. He’s memorized the floor and room number, so he doesn’t waste time going up there. He had to tell the receptionist a lie that he’s visiting his sister, but he’ll do anything to talk to you one more time.

He walks into the wing of the hospital you were in and approaches the window. He’s expecting you to be there, high on the drugs, and watching one of his movies. Instead, he sees a completely different person talking to a family member. This isn’t you, so where were you? His mind immediately goes to the worst possible thing.

Was he too late? Was his hesitation to get tested the reason why you’re dead? Are you even dead? In surgery? His mind can run through millions of possibilities, to remind him that you’re gone-gone, so he needs to put those worries to rest. He approaches the same nurse’s station as he did before, and one of them looks up with a smile.

“Hi, can I help you?”

“Yes, the woman who was in that room yesterday, her name is Suzanne, where is she?”

“Suzanne…”

The nurse tries to remember who was in that room yesterday. She wasn’t the nurse who was working that day, so she has to go get the chart to refamiliarize herself with the case. She gets up and walks over to the area where they keep their paper files. Sebastian guesses they haven’t had time to digitalize them just yet. The nurse flips through the files until she finds the right one.

“Yes, Suzanne Annucci. She was discharged yesterday after her dialysis treatment.”

“Discharged? But she has kidney failure. Aren’t those patients supposed to stay in the hospital?”

“Most of them, yes, but there are some who only come here for a dialysis treatment.”

“Is it possible if you could give me her address?”

He knows it’s a long shot, but he had to ask.

“I’m sorry, I can’t disclose a patient’s personal information. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No, that was it. Thanks.”

If only Sebastian can get his hands on that file, then he would know where you live. Yes, that does sound stalkerish, but he doesn’t think he can wait until you come in for another session. Plus, he can’t keep going to the hospital in hopes you’re here. If he had your address, then he could hang around the places you normally go. It might be wrong, but he can’t help himself.

It’s in the name of love--as if that got anyone anywhere.

Another nurse calls the nurse that’s holding your file, and she sets it down on the table to tend to other business. No one is looking at him, so all he needs to do is sneak a peek before hightailing it out of there. All the nurses are busy, giving him this window of opportunity. He snatches the file and opens it, reading as much as he can.

He only has time to grab your address and work address before someone starts heading his way. He slams the file shut, returns it where he found it, and leaves as quickly as he can. If he has your work address, maybe he can walk in and pretend he needs something just to talk to you. He doesn’t know where you work, but he hopes he can figure out a smooth way to talk to you.

He doesn’t want to look like a complete stalker if he goes alone, so if he can convince Chris to go out with him, then it would be as if two best friends are hanging out. Chris is in the middle of a FaceTime call when Sebastian comes back home. Chris immediately knows the kind of look Sebastian has on his face, so he knows it can’t wait.

“Hey, Scott, I’ll call you later.”

“Alright.”

The older Evans ends the call first before turning to his best friend.

“What happened?”

“She wasn’t at the hospital, but I did manage to get her work and home address.”

“Dude, you realize this is a crime you’re committing. You can go to prison for this.”

“If I get caught,” he tries to joke, but Chris just rolls his eyes. “Look, I’m not going to harm her in any way. All I want to do is talk to her. I believe she is the one for me, and I can’t just let her go. I want you to come with me.”

“Why?”

“It’s less suspicious,” Sebastian shrugs “Plus, I want you to see this woman.”

Chris doesn't know how Sebastian did it, but he managed to convince him to go on this stalker run. Chris is only teasing Sebastian about all of this, but there is a line that he can’t cross. No showing up to your house and no showing up to your work. If he wants to hang around in hopes you might run into him, then that’s fine. Sebastian understands where Chris is coming from, so all he’s going to do is sit in the parking lot and observe.

He knows this comes off as creepy, but something inside of him is telling him it’s the right thing to do. Sebastian puts your work address inside his GPS, and off they go. It’s surprisingly not far from where the hospital is. For someone who has ESRD, he’s shocked you work at a place that requires a lot of physical movement. Though, when he pulls into a parking space that has a clear shot of the front lobby, he understands you’re only a receptionist. Seeing you inside doing your thing gives him a rush of feelings.

“Which one is she?” Chris asks.

There are multiple receptionists, so Sebastian points you out.

“The one in the red dress.”

“She’s cute.”

“She’s more than that, Chris. She’s beautiful beyond measures.”

“Okay, Romeo,” Chris chuckles.

“Look, I want you to understand where I’m coming from here. You may see just a woman, but I see the rest of my life with her. I believe in love at first sight and soulmates, and I believe she is mine. At first, our relationship would start off rocky because we live in such different worlds, but it’ll get better. She’ll become used to my crazy schedule, and I won’t mind taking care of her.

“I can picture our one-year anniversary. I’d take her to that spot by the Hollywood sign that no one really goes to, and we’d have a picnic up there when it’s sunset. I’d propose to her, and we’d both be so happy that we’d want to get married right away. I can imagine her walking down the aisle in a big white dress with all of her family cheering her on. She’d have this big smile on her face, and I know I’d be crying at the thought of being with her for the rest of my life.

“I imagine us having three kids--two boys and a girl--with two dogs and a cat. We’d have this big house that the kids can run around in, a big yard for the dogs, and we’d live in a safe neighborhood. I’d go with her for her dialysis treatments, to make sure she is going to be okay. Our kids will worry about their mom, but I’d assure them that she is going to be okay.

“I imagine waking up next to her every morning, to talk to her, hold her hand, kiss her lips, and laugh with her. I can see us growing old together.”

Sebastian is staring at you as he talks, but he looks away with a sigh.

“I know how this must seem, Chris. I know it sounds creepy, but it feels right. It feels like something is pulling me to her. Call it love, fate, or whatever, but I can’t ignore this feeling. I’ve never had this with any other woman before. I’ve never been able to look at a woman and know that I might have a real future with her. I am meant to love her, and just because you haven’t found someone like that, doesn’t mean it’s not out there.”

Chris doesn’t know what to say to that. He’s always known Sebastian to be poetic and emotional, but this is on a whole other level. He’s never heard Sebastian talk about a woman like this, so he knows it’s real. He can tell by the look on his face that he meant every word he said. Chris can’t tease him any longer because this just became real.

True, Chris hasn’t found someone like that, but who is he to say soulmates don’t exist. Chris loves love, and the fact that Sebastian might get a real shot at it is what convinces him that Sebastian is doing the right thing.

“Go inside, man. Talk to her,” Chris finally says.

“I will when I figure out how.”

“Alright, well, then, for now, let’s just go back home. You know where she works and where she lives, but I swear to God, if you show up at her house without talking to her first, I’m not your friend anymore.”

Sebastian just laughs as he starts the car and heads home. Despite not doing anything, he’s exhausted by all the emotions and feelings inside of him. All he wants to do now is lay in bed and read a book or something relaxing. Chris has other plans with his brother, so he gets ready for when Scott picks him up. Sebastian changes into a comfy pair of sweat pants and falls onto his bed.

He hasn’t even laid there for two minutes when his phone rings. He debates on whether or not he could answer, but when he sees it’s from an unknown number, he has to answer. His manager sometimes gives his number out to people who might want to work with him, and this might be one of those times. He asked for it, and now he’s getting it.

“Hello?” he mumbles.

“Yes, is this Sebastian Stan?”

“Yes, it is. Who’s calling?”

“I’m Doctor Patterson at St. Thomas Memorial. How are you doing?”

“Good, how about you?”

“I’m doing well. I have your test results for the kidney match for Suzanne Annucci.”

Sebastian almost choked on his own spit. He didn't think the results would come in this quickly.

“Yes, what did it say?”

“You are a perfect match for her. Would you like to proceed with the process? You don’t have to decide--”

“Yes, I would,” Sebastian interrupts the doctor. “Sorry, but I’d like to proceed.”

“Transplants usually happen within twenty-four hours of being matched. We’d like for you to come in as soon as possible.”

“I’ll be there within the hour.”

Sebastian can’t stop smiling well after the call with the doctor. You don’t know him and he doesn’t know you, but he’s going to save your life. That’s the best thing a human can do for another.

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[cttrajan1206]

So maybe. While among us is booming rn. Cough, ill share a lil drabble i did, based on my games with my friends @dragonfruiteen and @justalexnoelle and @a-mega-sad-nerd

---

(note this took me two nights and Mercutio was present for the first one and you can Really Tell Because It Reads Better, Frui's pov was All Me And It Shows akbdf)

Eyes. It always seemed to be the eyes that opened the gateway to emotion. To empathy. Humans lacked such a key feature. If they did indeed have eyes, the windows to the soul, the mind of another creature, then it was clouded. Hidden behind a frosted blue screen that provided a concealing shade to any hint of emotion. It was with these "eyes" that they looked upon CT.

And what they saw, they turned blind to, the fog of their visors deceiving them and clouding up their vision. What they saw was a monster, a hideous creature with unnatural limbs and eyes. What CT saw was the same. Except there were more of them.

Shrieking desperately, their cry of fear was taken as a roar of hunger and these multi-chromed cloned monsters closed in. Their hands held no warmth, gone from their bodies and empty faces was any sign of a living sentient being with a conscience. If there ever were any there in the first place.

The experiments were horrible. Terrifying masks devoid of any tainted spots betrayed nothing on their facade of a frigid outer exterior as they conducted the tests. CT was trapped, alone and afraid. The electrocutions didn't aid their jitters, their tendrils quaking with fear each time they were forced upon the podium. No manner other than Man's could be so cruel. Unspeakable things to do with drills and lasers occured in that test lab. Things too horrid to repeat.

And yet. There was a shining light that burned brightly and illuminated the path ahead. Frui. Frui always treated CT as a friend, fir dark skin patterned with glowing cyan networks that ended with the plant sprouting atop fir head. No matter the amount of experiments that day, Frui and Teddy always made sure to visit CT secretly afterwards, often bringing treats. CT could speak to them, using phrases and words they knew well. Though the constant screaming left their voice hoarse and sore, they always made sure to give them in turn their thanks - a love shaped by finding a blooming bud of friendship in a stale place of loneliness.

But that didn't last long. Because all beauty is meant to never last and alas, theirs was meant to have its time cut short ever swifter.

It wasn't on purpose. Not the first time. A tired security guard must have miscalculated their reaction time and left the door open. CT stared. They'd always dreamed, too afraid to dare and grab a hold of a rope to save themself. And Frui was due to visit soon. But what caged bird would ignore its chance for freedom? So they rushed out, slithering across the floor and through the corridors. Not one map could help their journey and each path they tried twisted endlessly like a writhing snake. It seemed hopeless but no light could be without the darkness. Determined, they pushed on, discovering the useful utility of the vent systems. Just as they caught sight of the exit, down from their eye they spied Frui's plant. Goodbye. That was what they wanted to say one last time. Goodbye and Thank you for all the time Frui had spent with them, for being the light in their life and for being kinder than the others. Entering the room, they waved a tentacle friendlily, happy to see their friend

Frui immediately gave CT up to security.

Blank eyes. As cold and clouded as a dead fish's. CT knew every human must've had the same but they somehow had convinced themself that Frui must be different. That some empathy lay behind that voided screen for eyes. They had seen how tender and loving fe was with Teddy and fe had always treated them as a friend.

Now, however, CT realised that such affection was reserved only for other humans. A lowly monster like them couldn't ever truly be seen as a friend. As someone to trust and set free. As someone to treat as an equal. Only as something to be used. After all, if that hadn't been the case, and Frui felt they were a friend, why did fe turn them in?

The experiments became more and more frequent and painful after that day. Each hour was torturous, excruciatingly beating the seconds past as slowly as possible. Frui and Teddy tried to visit CT anyway but they wouldn't let the two humans in. Never again would their lonely heart even consider opening up to another ever again. Never.

The second time was no mere accident. This time, CT had planned, schemed and plotted it all out. This time, __they__ would be the betrayer.

A squadron of humans were to depart on a mission through the dropship to the basecamp Polus. CT knew this. They weren't to cone as the investigation was on the lava's seismic activity not their alien form.

But that didn't deter them.

Frui was on that ship. Defenceless and wide open. So after killing a local human with keys, CT set their plan into motion. Their suit was lime, a nice enough bright green colour,

And looking through the owner's stuff made for the discovery that fedoras were the Ultimate Hat. A little bit of practice was needed but they handled it quickly and efficiently. Soon, they donned their screened eyeless mask and waited. They were ready.

Was Frui?

<•∆•>

Last Frui checked, the lime suit belonged to one of the security guards. It seemed weird since fe didn't recall them being on the mission. When fe went over to say hi, fe got no answer. Instead, the suit fished out a notebook and wrote inside.

“Throat sore. Can't talk.”

Frui nodded, understanding, and gave them a thumbs up. The guard seemed to study them before scribbling down.

“I'm new here and don't know my way around, could you help me?”

Frui nodded and then whipped around.

"Alex! I got a parasite for you to take!"

The fedora nearly fell as they flinched, seemingly disturbed by the nickname. Frui quickly explained.

"Oh we just do that since Alex leads the mission. We say neb 'hosts' the assignment since neb's leader and we joke that we're all parasites seeking to take over the ship."

Fe laughed and the guard nodded solemnly. It was a little weird, a bit sus, but eh. Who was Frui to judge? Fe lead the guard to Alex and waved goodbye just before the dropship landed.

That was the last fe saw of neb.

It was slow and subtle at first. Frui hardly notices any suspicious going ons as fe did fir tasks faithfully. Sure, fe passed Nerd once and never saw him again but fe figured he was just doing tasks too. Teddy was always with fir too. They held hands the entire time and went everywhere together. They were inseparable, doing tasks alongside each other and never leaving each other's sight. It was nice, they were nearly both finished as they headed to the medbay to get scanned the halls moaned emptt, haunted with absence. Their footsteps echoed as they headed past the laboratory. Teddy was right by Frui. He was safe so fe was glad.

And then the lights died.

Frui couldn't see anything, it took fir eyes time to adjust to the dark. Teddy yelped and fe instinctively reached out and grabbed his arm, sliding down to his hand. It felt… thinner and slightly more squelchy than bone but in fir panic fe overlooked it.

"Come on Teddy, let's go!"

Running to fix the light, fe pulled Teddy along with fir. Fe got as far as outside before Teddy pulled away, yanking his hand out of fir grip. Confused, Frui half whispered in choked shock.

"Teddy-?"

There was no reply.

Fe was left there in the dark cold. Alone and afraid.

"Teddy??"

This wasn't like him. Teddy would never abandon fir.

"Teddy!"

Suddenly, fe felt a presence near fir. A hand on fir shoulder. Teddy. In the dark, fe couldnt see it but that reassuring squeeze had to be Teddy.

And then the lights flickered back on.

And fe saw there was no one there. Just a wispy trail of snow. Confused, scared and worried, Frui ran into the lab. Desperately searching for Teddy. Any sign of him. Nothing. No one. What happened?? Where did everyone go?? Why was fe… all alone. Think. Think think think. Frui thought and remembered that Teddy had a task in the office. As fe headed there, fe reassured faethself that Teddy would be there. The hope was slim and delusional but fe needed it. Sliding open the east entrance, fe walked towards the office. Eyes constantly shifting, fe scanned every inch of fir sight for Teddy, skimming every surface when a flashing light caught fir eye. Wandering closer, it became evident that it was the vitals monitor, keeping track of everyone. Frui didn't move close. Seeking answers from this had the chance of solidifying one of fir fears. Did fe dare? Yes. For Teddy. Slowly, fir sights focused on the monitor and fir heart dropped.

Dead. They were all dead. No signs of life showed for any of the crew members. Not even Teddy.

All that still flashed and thrummed with energy was Frui's heartbeat…

...And the lime guard's.

Stomach dropping in an instant, Frui stared at the monitor in horror. No. Nonono. Why? Why would they? Fe felt sick, barely restraining faethself from puking as the timeline matched up in fir head abd fe realised what had actually been going on. Fir crewmates were being murdered in cold blood and fe had had no idea.

A squelching sound of something crawling out of a hole alerted fir of someone else's presence. Hesitantly, fe turned around, already knowing what would face fir. After all, who else? There, standing casually against the wall, was Lime. They waved cheerfully. Frui bolted for the doors and heard an inhuman laugh as fe realised. The doors were locked.

Thud. Thud. Thud. The monitor beeped quickly, matching Frui's heartbeat. The lime suit stepped forward and in time to it, walking leisurely and yet quickening smoothly. In a flash, they had Frui backed to a wall unsure what to do, Frui was about to try pushing them away and running when… curiously… they began to unlatch their helmet. A hiss sounded as they slowly unscrewed it off, the fedora falling to the floor. Frui couldn't believe fir eyes. Staring back at fir, almost mournfully, was…

"CT…?!"

They nodded and reached forwards with a tentacle. Frui flinched. This made CT pause and anger flashed in their eyes. Suddenly, Frui felt a stabbing pain searing througg fir stomach. Blood dripped from CT's mouth as the serrated tongue slid back in. They seemed sad yet satisfied as Frui's body fell to the floor, limp. The last thing Frui saw was the monster walking away, uttering a single word with their hoarse throat.

"Goodbye."

<END>

[bramblepeltao3]

IDK where else to put this indulgent nonsense so, as one does, I’m putting it on my Tumblr.

Hey do you like my fic where I have an OC who is a gremlin girl and do you also like the Prince!Prompto AU trope and do you want to read a few loose little narrative bits about those two things coming together? 

No?

Here it is anyway!

The clock in Prompto’s room sounded out to anyone who listened that the time was now eleven in the morning. Since it was a Thursday, this meant the start to the worst hour of his week, every week, for his whole life. 

Every Thursday at eleven in the morning, Dr. Besithia would come by for his weekly check up. The Prince would spend the time trying not to show too much emotion as the doctor used a variety of needles to inject and extract numerous fluids, all while chastising him for being a waste of his and everyone else’s time.

It didn’t matter how strictly Prompto followed the doctor’s orders, or how much control Prompto had over following them in the first place. He never got any better, and he was always made well aware that it was his own fault. The prince of Niflheim was a sickly recluse, so sheltered from the public that many would even doubt his existence. And at fifteen years old, he was lonely and listless and so very tired of living like this. 

The door to his bedroom began to open, and Prompto mentally steeled himself for another hour of angry commands, needles, and insults. 

“Dr. Besithia to see you, your highness.” The attendant said with a bow. Prompto nodded in return, sitting upright on the edge of his well cushioned bed. The least little rebellion he could maintain was forcing that unpleasant old man to come to him.

But the person who stepped through, all dressed in well ironed white, was not Dr. Besithia. Not at all. This doctor was a woman, and much younger. She bowed slightly upon crossing the threshold before making her way over to him. Prompto, in spite of himself, felt compelled to stand and greet her like the well mannered young man he was supposed to be.

“A pleasure to finally meet you, highness.” She said with a small smile. She looked sad, but gentle, and seemed to be staring at something right behind his own eyes. 

“I...I was expecting, I apologize…” Prompto was used to being ogled and visually picked apart by people. Something about her green eyes felt softer. Less invasive and judgemental. Perhaps it was all wishful thinking but her gaze seemed almost kind.

“You were expecting Dr. Besithia?” She asked.

Prompto nodded.

“You’re looking at her.” She smirked. “Doctor Delphia Besithia. Verstael is my father. I understand he was completing your weekly heath assessments, but business for his Imperial Majesty has become...pressing.” The doctor crossed the room over to the little seating area where the work was usually conducted. A clear table, two chairs, plenty of places to hook up Verstael’s array of electrical instruments. “Luckily I’m now officially a licensed medical professional myself, so I’ll be taking over for him.” 

Prompto almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So...Dr. Bes-...Verstael won’t be…?”

“You know, why don’t we call my father Dr. Besithia, and you can refer to me as Dr. Delphia. Does that work, your highness?” She asked, setting the large case she was carrying on the table and opening it.

“Yes. I mean, I think that would work fine. Doctor.” Prompto joined her at the table, removing his coat to reveal his bare arms and taking a seat on his usual side of the table.

“So I went over your medical record on the way over, it seems like my old man kept to the same routine every week for a long time. Not all that surprising, except he usually at least tries to change things up whenever he doesn’t get results…”

Prompto cringed. “Yeah, it’s my fault. I just wasn’t trying hard enough.” He sighed, casting his eyes to the floor. He could feel her gaze staring into him once again.

“Your fault?” She asked. “Did my father tell you that?”

He felt himself beginning to sweat. Soon she’d understand just how awful of a patient he really was, and all the gentle niceness would end. She’d grow to hate and resent him just like Dr. Besithia did, he was sure.

“Dude. That’s bullshit.”

Prompto snapped his face up to hers, the bluntness of her assertion shocking him. The doctor had such a look of concern on her face.

“He was your doctor. Treating you was his job. If you weren’t getting better, that’s his fault. Not yours.”

Prompto blinked in confusion. 

“If it makes you feel any better, and I doubt it does,” she started retrieving the same instruments he was always used to, “he’s like that with everyone. Everything is always someone else’s fault. No way his genius could be to blame!”

By her tone, Prompto inferred she’d suffered at his words just as much.

“So, let’s start with the easy part. How are you feeling today, your highness?” She asked, taking the other seat and smiling at him.

“How...um, well I’m…” Prompto was not prepared for this question. Easy part, indeed. “Tired, I guess. Like usual. I get dizzy if I stand too long.” And now his heart was pounding in fear. Did he answer wrong? Was that something he could do?

She was typing on a tablet resting in her lap. “Hmm, how about sleep? Do you think you get enough?”

Dr. Besithia never gave Prompto so much time to talk like this. It felt...strange. “I sleep a lot.”

“Do you feel well rested after? Or still tired?” She asked, still typing.

“Oh, uh...I guess I haven’t really thought of that? I’m sorry...guess still tired.”

“Hey, you don’t have to apologize for anything, highness. Okay, if it’s alright with you I’d like to start taking your vitals now.”

...did she just ask him permission? She did. And she was waiting for his answer. 

He nodded. And the next thing to strike him was just how gentle she actually was. She never grabbed, but waited for him to offer his arm or hand as needed. She didn’t yell or snipe or speak critically of him. He wasn’t sure how to feel about this. It was oddly terrifying, somehow.

“Alright, your blood pressure is a little low, so we can start with that. There’s a few simple things we can change to try and get it stabilized. Hopefully that will help with the dizziness too!” 

Prompto sat in stunned silence as she prescribed such basic things like drinking more water and adding salt to his meals. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It felt...too easy. After years of living like this, there was no way it could actually be so simple.

“Unfortunately I am going to need to get some blood for lab work, if that’s ok, highness.”

He felt like he might cry. She actually listened to him, and asked him to talk to her. If she really was replacing Besithia going forward, maybe things would actually get better. Maybe... He hoped she never got sick of him, and he’d do everything he could to prevent that.

“You can call me Prompto, um, Doctor. Please.”

She looked at him strangely, like he’d just told her there was a behemoth on her shoulder. But then she smiled again. “Why don’t you call me Del then, Prompto? Has anyone ever told you you have great veins? This is going to be so fast.” And surprisingly, it was. The whole ordeal was over so quickly he couldn’t believe she’d actually done it.

“Alright, unless there’s anything else you’d like to discuss, I think that ends our appointment today.” She began packing everything back up. “And if anything comes up at all, I’m only one floor away!”

“Wait, really?” Dr. Besithia always made a point of reminding him he had to travel a long way for these appointments.

“Yeah, I’m here at the palace full time. Another perk of the job. If you need anything at all, just ask your attendant. I’m here for you Prompto, any time.”

It took everything in him to maintain some amount of regal composure and not start crying. Somehow, for the first time, he had hope. And if nothing else, there was someone here who might actually listen to him.

---

Delphia bowed to the prince before turning and walking to the elevator. She held herself together perfectly until the elevator doors closed behind her and she was granted ten seconds of complete isolation. An hour’s worth of suppressed, extreme emotion bubbled out all at once in a large gasp for air. Her chest felt tight and her eyes burned with the threat of tears.

You have to do this. You have to do this. You have to be here for him, because no one else will.

Delphia composed herself just as the doors opened again. It was another two minutes before she made it to her office which she thankfully had to herself. She opened the door and flipped on the light.

And really, she should have expected that she wouldn’t actually get to be alone just yet.

“Doctor Besithia, how is our young charge on this day?” Chancellor Izunia, hat in hand, bowed to her.

“Terrible, but you already knew that didn’t you Ardyn?” She didn’t have time for his fanciful speech patterns and flowery prose right now. She had samples to run.

“Looking a bit red eyed yourself, Delphia. Hard first day on the job?” He tailed her to the workstation, watching carefully as she washed and gloved her hands.

“Why do you always ask questions you already know the answer to?” She asked, getting the little centrifuge ready to go.

“The same could be asked of yourself, Doctor.”

She sighed. “My father’s been purposefully keeping him ill. Or at least below a functional baseline.”

“You’re certain?” Ardyn asked like a child giddy about knowing the punchline to an old joke.

“Verstael did the same tests, same treatments, same everything over and over again despite no improvement. There’s only one reason you don’t change up the treatment plan.”

“Because it is working as intended.” Ardyn smiled in that wicked way that made her feel like a small rabbit being eyed by a wolf.

But this rabbit had an understanding with the wolf. 

“Exactly. But here’s what I find really interesting.” She looked up from the samples currently shaking at a dizzying rate in the machine. “Whatever was going on, you wanted it to end.”

“Oh do walk me through your process of deduction, Delphia. Your brain is always so intriguing to pick.”

She rolled her eyes. “Cut the shit. You knew I’d see these numbers and figure out what was happening immediately.” She pointed at him accusingly. “When the Emperor gave Father his orders, you made damn sure I was the one who took his place.”

“Who better to take over the father’s work, than the daughter?”

“My graduating class had 44 other young doctors who would have been eager and willing to take up his job and do it unquestioningly. Exactly at his direction, no critical thought or deviation. And you insisted on the one singular doctor who, you knew for a fact, wouldn’t. And that, Ardyn, is the most suspicious thing of all.”

“You do wound me, young one. But all the same please go on, I am on the edge of my seat.”

She considered not continuing, just to piss him off. But she couldn’t resist any opportunity to show off. It was a problem. So on she went. 

“Verstael takes pride in his projects, particularly the ones he...made from scratch.” She felt sick, thinking of the thousands of lives just like Prompto. His life was anything but easy, but it was worlds above that of his many, many brothers. “If he was interfering with the prince’s health on purpose, it must be because someone above him told him to. And there’s only one person who could tell him to do anything.”

Ardyn smiled, somehow even wider.

 She began the process of sterilizing her instruments, taking her time with each.

“The Emperor wants the Prince to waste away in poor health, hidden from the public and with zero sense of self worth to boot. Which is curious, since the Emperor was the one who commissioned a prince in the first place! Which leads me to believe Iedolas wanted this from the start. So. Why create an heir and then sabotage him?”

“Perhaps because the heir is meant only to act as a symbol.”

“Mmmhmm.” Del had considered as much. Hearing it from the chancellor cemented it. “A means of reminding the people the monarchy is here to stay. But Project Deathless is right around the corner, or so Father claims. And if it comes to fruition, then Iedolas is the monarchy. Forever.”

“Who needs an heir when you never plan to retire?”

“Who needs an heir beloved by the people, capable of leading and inspiring a coupe before you have a chance to gain immortality?”

“In the meantime, the chain of succession is decided by blood.”

“And the snakes in the cabinet can’t finagle their way into increasing power, at least not as easily.”

“Delphia I do love our conversations, not many can keep up quite like you.”

“Like father, like daughter.” She sighed. “So where do you come in, Ardyn? What do you get out of Prompto getting better?”

“Is it not enough to see a poor child suffering, and wishing to see him well again?”

“No, it’s not.” She replied, despite the unsaid implication hanging above them. Once, she was that suffering little child. And he healed her bruises and did what was needed to get her out of that hell hole. But that was a long time ago. And they were both very different now.

Ardyn hummed in response. “I would like to hear the good doctor’s hypothesis before the big reveal.”

She sighed. This man was so exhausting. But he was the only person worth talking to, somehow. “I think it's suspicious because you have no interest in the throne. Well, not this one at least.”

“And…” He smirked, telling her she was on the right track.

“And what a coincidence that our little prince is the same age as Lucis’ little prince.”

“What a coincidence indeed!”

The centrifuge stopped, the samples were ready for testing.

“I think you have a use for him in your little tirade against the Astrals and your brother’s descendants.” She snarled.

“And what use would that be?”

“I don’t know.” Delphia leaned over the workstation, looking Ardyn in the eyes. “But whatever it is you’ve got planned, if it ends with Prompto hurt or dead, I’m putting a stop to it. Now.”

Ardyn clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Now now, Delphia, you wound me.” He clutched his hand over his chest in mock insult. “Such accusations. I know you too well, little finch. The guilt you feel, unable to end your little brothers’ suffering. It tears at your weak, mortal heart. I have brought you to one who may live, and perhaps even prosper, with your guiding hand and sharp mind. I have no intentions of causing the boy further harm.”

Del didn’t believe that for a moment. Not because he was a liar, though he was certainly lying. She knew what lurked through the chancellor’s veins. What was eating him from the inside out, slowly, with every breath he took. It was getting worse, warping him. He was not the same man who befriended her fifteen years ago. Though bits of that man were still in there. And she knew if she just continued to play along, did what she could to keep those bits floating around alive, she’d get that friend back.

She just needed some more time.

---

“Commodore! Fucking finally. I have a request.” Delphia shouted across the courtyard, having finally found the woman after an hour of chasing down lead after lead.

“Interesting way of approaching someone. Mind an introduction first?”

Delphia tempered her knee jerk instinct to say something rude. “My name is Doctor Besithia, I assume you’re familiar with my father?”

“You mean the quack keeping the prince weak and at his mercy?”

Oh, she liked this woman. “Yep. Well, used to. I’m the prince’s personal physician now.”

“You planning on keeping up daddy’s work, Doc?” The Commodore crossed over to her, looking down with suspicion.

“Not quite. I’ve been going over his notes and I think there might be some...room for improvement. But I might need your assistance.”

Aranea shrugged her shoulders. “I’m a bodyguard, not a nurse. When the prince can leave his bedroom then I’ll have a job to do. Until then-”

“That’s exactly why I’m asking for your help, Commodore.” Delphia smiled. “The prince needs to leave his bedroom.”

“Uh huh. But can he?”

“Yes.” Delphia smirked up at the taller woman. “We’ve been working on it for three weeks, but he’s more than ready now. Of course, he’s not supposed to go anywhere without his retainers. Specifically the one that knows how to hit things with a stick.”

Aranea crossed her arms and frowned. “You’re telling me, after less than a month, Prince Shortcake is already improving?”

And this is where Delphia wanted the conversation to be. She needed to know who could be trusted, and who was in on the whole charade. Where did the true loyalties of the prince’s shield lie?

“Yeah. And if he’s going to keep getting better, he needs fresh air and sunlight. Vitamin D doesn’t make itself, you know. So, you ready to get to work, Commodore?”

Aranea studied Del’s face, obviously searching for answers to the same questions.

“Alright, Doc. Show me a miracle, and we’ll have ourselves a casual little stroll.”

Fantastic.

---

“Fifteen minutes.” Del reassured the two of them. “That’s all you need. Fifteen minutes in direct sunlight with bare arms, that’s more than enough time to get your daily dose of Vitamin D.”

Prompto felt like his heart could beat right out of his chest. It’d been so long since he’d left the palace walls. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. The doctor was on his left, keeping a close eye on him. Most likely observing his physical state while he walked around. 

On his right was Aranea, keeping an eye on everyone else in the courtyard. He hadn’t seen her in so long, he almost ran over to hug her before remembering his manners. She’d been like a sister to him when he was younger. But the weariness of the past seven years took just as much of a toll on her as it had on him.

Behind them, a guard was pushing a wheelchair. It was Del’s idea and insistence. “Just in case.” She said gently. “And there’s no shame in needing to use it.”

He might need it sooner than later, as everything around him was becoming overwhelming. The smell of fresh growing flowers, the sun on his face warming his skin, the light chatter of palace staff meandering around, their shoes clicking on the stone below.

It was making him dizzy.

“Yep, alright dude, easy now.” Del took his hand and helped guide him to the waiting wheelchair. “Take a few breaths, let me know what you need.”

Aranea did not look happy. “Is he alright?”

“I’m fine.” Prompto yelped, sitting up straighter. “I’m fine I’m just, it’s...a lot.”

“I bet.” Aranea smirked down at him.

“Are you okay to stay outside a little longer?” Del asked, voice filled with concern. 

All of this positive attention was going to make him just about pass out. 

“Yes. I’d like to, at least.”

Del smiled and put a hand on his forehead, wiping the hair from his eyes. “Alright, we’ll keep on. Just give me a heads up when you need to go back inside.”

He nodded. Prompto let the guard push him forward, watching little birds flicker through the sky and listening to his doctor and his shield have a not so private conversation between them.

“Well, credit where it’s due, Doc. Guess the Hippocratic oath still means something.”

“So then, about my proposal…”

“Count me in. Shortcake’s long overdue for some combat training.”

“Gradual, structured, short session combat training.”

“Yeah, I got it the first time.”

“With a lot of padded mats and-”

“Doc, you worry about his bone marrow count or whatever it is you do. Let me do my job.”

If he wasn’t already light headed, that would’ve sent him right over. He’d dreamed about getting to swing a sword around or hold a shield just like one of his father’s soldiers. In fact when he was still little and full of energy, he and Aranea would pretend spar with sticks or paper tubes for hours on end.

He’d all but abandoned being able to do that ever again. And now.

Del stopped and turned to look at him, smiling, her green eyes radiating warmth. “How you doing, Prompto?”

Aranea turned, crossing her arms, awaiting his response. And for the first time in forever she wasn’t looking down at him with pity. He hadn’t seen her look so content since they were kids.

Prompto nodded, smiling even wider. “I’m great.”

---

Cor was in complete disbelief. Not for the reason everyone else in the situation room was, oh no. While everyone else was staring mouth agape at the first recorded proof the prince of Niflheim actually existed, he was focused on the young woman walking next to him. The image wasn’t the closest, or clearest, but there was no mistaking.

That was Del Besithia, the six year old shit head daughter of Verstael, who treated an Imperial military research facility like her personal gymnasium. The little girl who called Cor a ‘dumbass’ in many colorful different ways. The kid who was so lonely and so deluded that she truly believed an army of clone babies were her brothers.

He’d tried so hard to get her to trust him, to get one of those babies to him so they could figure out what exactly was going on. In the end, she bailed on him, and Cor went home empty handed save a few photos of babies sleeping suspended in large cylinders.

From the looks of things, one baby did manage to get out though.

Incredible, really. Seeing the two of them standing next to each other, it was so obvious to anyone who knew what to look for. It was so obvious to Cor; the prince was one of those clones. And his ‘sister’ was his personal physician.

She looked happy. And sure, one still photograph couldn’t fill in a 14 year gap. But she was smiling, and with one of them, and she was walking freely outside. She’d told Cor with zero hesitation she knew she was going to die in that facility.

The look on her face when she made that statement had haunted him since. Maybe this one could replace it. She was fine. She was alive and okay.

There wasn't anything else he could’ve done for that kid.

“To be fair, hardly anyone ever saw Iedolas before he took the throne. And by that point he was already greying.”

“And we have no leads on who the mother could be. The lack of resemblance means nothing; the boy wears the Imperial regalia. That’s all the confirmation required.”

“Yes, but what if-?”

“That’s their prince.” Cor finally spoke up, hoping to end the back and forth guessing games. “Looks to be Noctis’ age as well. Prompto Aldercapt. Keep our eyes on him, I want to know his political and moral leanings before he has a chance to use them.”

The meeting adjourned, and his agents filed out. Cor had more business to get to. Training Gladio, overseeing the new recruits orientation, a briefing on the status of the wall, another briefing on the growing demon population…

He took another look at that photograph. Looking at Del smiling down at the prince, both of them looking happy and peaceful. There was something...pulling at him. Like a fist gripping his heart and trying to rip it from his chest. Something felt very wrong, a lingering threat aimed directly at them. Cor couldn’t tell why, but he knew they were in danger, and in spite of his loyalties he felt like he needed to protect those two. 

It was a strange impulse, maybe even something of an instinct. He couldn’t place its origin but he had a feeling a cigarette and some sleep would help dispel it.

Or...

---

“So...guns, huh?” Del frowned, watching as the prince shot off another round down the firing range.

“Your prescription of sunshine and lollipops-”

“I didn’t prescribe lollipops-”

“-can only do so much. He’s lacking the coordination for hand to hand combat, and swords wear out his stamina too quickly. A gun is lighter, easier to handle, and keeps him out of reach of more conventional weapons.” Aranea looked very pleased with herself.

“Well...at least he’s wearing ear protection.” He was also standing with a more determined posture than when they’d first met. And his skin was starting to show a little color, freckles not unlike her own dotting his cheeks and shoulders. 

“Emperor dropped in yesterday.” Aranea sighed.

Del felt her stomach drop. If the hypothesis she’d shared with Ardyn was anywhere close to correct, this was bad.

“Prince Shortcake shrank in his shadow, like the past few months never even happened.” The shield began chewing on her thumb, furrowing her brow. “Iedolas just grunted, looking as pissy as ever, and walked away. Poor kid. He’s still got a long way to go on that confidence.”

“You’d think the guy would be even a little bit happy his son was getting better.” Del shrugged her shoulders, hoping the anxiety wasn’t evident in her voice.

Aranea narrowed her eyes, studying Del for a moment. “You know, I really don’t get who you think you’re fooling.” She said before turning back around, walking to the prince to continue coaching his form.

Del blinked. What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

---

“Like, seriously, what the fuck was that supposed to mean?” She asked, several hours later, pacing in her office while flipping through her notes.

“The mind of the Commodore is a mysterious one.” Ardyn had once again invited himself in, leaning back in her chair, boots resting on her desk. “But little finch, you have not been the most subtle in your intentions. There are whispers, you know…”

“Intentions?” She snapped. “Oh how terrible, I want the prince to not wither away and die in his bedroom at the age of sixteen. What fucking whispers, Ardyn?”

“The daughter of Verstael schemes to make the prince completely reliant upon her, such that when he overthrows his father and takes the throne he will do so at her own whims.”

Del pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache rising up. “I’m getting real fucking sick of politics. It’s like no one can do a single nice thing without having some wicked ulterior motive! It’s bullshit.”

“You have seemingly worked miracles, Delphia, in the eyes of the court.” Ardyn flicked at the brim of his hat to get a better view of her. “That is always suspicious.”

“Miracles. Intentions. All I did was treat my patient. I’m...I just want my brother to be healthy! Any sister would want that, much less one with a medical license. Is that so fucking terrible?!” Del was going to snap. Nothing about anything was ever easy in this godsforsaken hellscape of a country.

Ardyn lifted his eyebrows, eyes flickering to the door, before lifting a finger to his lips.

Del got the message. Someone was listening. And they heard...that. Slowly, quietly, she started to step towards the door. She gestured at Ardyn, asking him to talk so it wasn’t obvious they knew.

“Your heart is pure as always, little finch. But when one is steeped in their own darkness for so long, well…”

Del wrenched the door open and shot her head out, seeing no one but hearing fast paced foot steps.

“Darkness tends to be all one can see.”

She took off, down the long hallway, turning the corner. Nothing, not even a sound of a door. Whoever just heard her stupid ramblings, they got away. 

“I did warn you to be careful.” Ardyn said from behind her shoulder.

“Yeah.” Del swallowed hard, catching her breath. “You did.”

---

[lovelessmako]

This is a demon/exophilia love story I've been working on that I thought I'd share here. If people seem to like it then I'll add more.

Ve

Chapter One:

Kivet laughed inwardly as blood and adrenaline rolled off his dark form in waves. The thrill of the chase. Watching a child cling to you, begging you to let them go as the light slowly leaves their eyes. This was what he was created for. He was a peacekeeper between the different species. It was his job to keep the status quo in any way possible. If that meant killing children because a fae dared to have a child with a human, then that was what he had to do. Afterall, mutts were incapable of kindness or love. Sure, they could fake it quite convincingly, even Kivert himself would've fallen for it had he not been taught the truth, but it was impossible for them to experience any pleasant emotions. If Kivet enjoyed his job then that was nobody's business but his own. Everyone needed to stick to their own people. Only the Ve, which he was, could leave their lands.

Sometimes people would send messengers to other species in order to broker peace. Kivet hated those. Scared, unarmed, diplomats with enough medals to make you go blind as they reflected the sun. They didn't deserve those. He always made sure nothing arrived and would leave a bloodied medal behind as a warning. He would keep the others, of course. They were rather good quality and he had quite the collection coming along. He had no idea what they stood for but surely he deserved them more than their original owners.

Kivet set to work wiping his claws off on a rag he kept in his pocket. He frowned slightly when he saw that the blood had reached there as well. So much for clean hands. He gave up and settled for sitting with his back against a tree and admiring his work. Even in their last moments, the two criminals had held each other and tried to shield the child. That's commitment, he'll give them that. Maybe they thought it would gain his sympathy. Dumb. It did make him a bit lonely though. If such scum found someone to play along with their ruse, then why was a hero forced to work alone? He wasn't forced per say, but his old partner had fallen for an orphaned mutt's tricks and had to be put down. It was unfortunate, Suvo was pretty good at his job. He had even told Kivet that what they were doing was wrong! Saving lifes is wrong? What an ass! No, he reminded himself, it was that mutt's fault. Suvo had younger siblings and the creature looked similar to one. Meanwhile, Kivet had never been around children except for when he was in school.

He gathered himself and started in to the nearest town. Kivet could use something to eat, and there were always mutts scatted about to kill. It was disturbing how many there were. Why do people insist on disobeying the natural order of things? The strangest part was how many purebreds supported the movement. The town wasn't too far of a walk, and his shadowy wings were still a bit sore from the long flight over, so he didn't mind walking. The land was nice enough, a dirt path with a small lake to the right and wilting forest to his left. There were some huts in groups of 3 or 4 every now and then; It seems the humans were not advanced enough to feel safe living alone yet. It made sense, they were a very fragile species, very easy to injure; even by accident. They also contracted illnesses often and usually died from them. And, even if they managed to be extremely careful, their lifespan was still very short. Most species told tales of these weak creatures and used them as examples of the good alliances between species would do. They were nothing more than figureheads, however. Something that would be cast aside when no longer needed.

Humans were the worst when it came to mutts. They found fae and elves to be attractive for some reason. He could see it from a procreation standpoint; every parent wants their children to be powerful. But what did the others gain? Maybe humans had special bonding rituals that they preformed in order to create children. That could be interesting. Not that it would ever be possible for a Ve, even if it was allowed. He was reminded of that time and time again as humans ran or hid from him. "Nightmare. Demon. Bad omen. Monster," he had heard it all.

This time, however, the humans seemed to be crowding around a figure on the ground. He hissed loudly, causing them to scatter and leave the body. He crouched nearby, not caring about the pool of blackened blood that was leaking from a bashed in skull. This was a Ve. A wing had been torn off along with their hands, likely for grizzly trophies. Something caught his eye behind their ear. Kivet yanked out the sharp object to see a steady, blinking, red light. A tracker. This wasn't a Ve that had gotten out of line and needed to be put down. They were hunted. He growled and glared around at the humans. No, not one of them. They were much too timid; many crying already. Entire towns had been decimated for less serious offenses.

If someone was hunting Ve then Kivet needed to be safe. While Ve normally had a solid form, they could take on a shadowy apperation that couldn't be harmed. Unfortunately they couldn't harm anyone either. An even trade off. It also took effort. Not a lot, but it would surely add up. He weighed his options. He couldn't eat while in that form so he would have to drop it for those moments. But waiting a few days to eat could help. It would be a lot easier if he had a partner that could help by taking turns keeping watch. But they would just be hit instead. Maybe he could trick a troll into protecting him. They're a good 3-4 feet taller than him and bright blue; an easy target. But that would mean putting up with a troll. And he didn't even speak their language. Not worth it.

"Are you alright, sir?" Kivet jumped, how could he have let a human sneak up on him like that?! They continued, ignoring his suprise, "it's a pretty gruesome sight."

"Don't talk to me." He went ignored.

"Did you know them?"

"Why are you still talking to me?!"

"Its still sad, even if you didn't. I know if I saw a human like that I'd likely take my own life from the trauma."

Why didn't this human-? Wait, they probably couldn't understand him. Humans had a spoken language, not psychic. Kivet remembered studying that back in Academy; they had to choose a language and it seemed the easiest.

"Fine," he choked out, voice scratchy and broken from lack of use. The human apparently took that as emotion and placed their hand on his shoulder. He hissed in warning, but it wasn't removed.

"Why don't you come inside? I'm not sure if you can digest the same things as us, but I made some nice potato soup. Its chilly today as well. I already have a fire going inside."

Why was this human being nice to him? They didn't even know his name. Hell, he didn't even know their gender; humans were difficult to ascertain with their lack of horns or spikes. He considered the offer. On one hand, he had come to the village for food, and while he wasn't affected by the weather, seeing such a mutilated corpse sent shivers down his back. He was reminded of what his father told him when he started school, "Don't trust anyone, regardless of species or blood relation."

"Sounds lonely."

He startled, not realizing that he had spoken it aloud. "Its all I've ever known." Lie. He had traveled with Suvo for 3 years before the incident. "Find me another Ve and I'll consider changing my mind," he tried to joke. It probably sounded too serious in his underused voice.

"You'll be pretty hard-pressed to find another." A tall fae with tanned skin and a whimsical voice pranced over to them, feet light and airy. Humans referred to Fae as the opposite of Ve. Kivet hated them. Even more than mutts.

"Oh, don't give me that look, demon. I come with news." Kivet continued to glare. How dare he speak to him! "The Ve were attacked a few weeks ago. Whole towns wiped out. Only a handful of you guys remain and they're hunting you down." Who? He was too confused to ask. Ve were untouchable. Heroes who used their strength for good. Why would someone attack? How could they lose? "The Golems." The Fae seemed to understand the unspoken question. "They asked the Fae to join them but our queen refused. The last time we angered Ve our capital was destroyed. So much unnecessary death."

"Just tell me what happened already!" Kivet was getting fed up with this stupid voice already.

He shrugged, a human expression, "that's all I know. My guess is a full frontal assault. Ve are good at tactics, but you lack- what was the word? Oh yeah-strength." That was a blow and he knew it. The Ve were all about strength. They were the best when it came to 1-on-1 fights. Then other species had to invent blades and spears. Kivet, like most Ve, refused to use them. They were a crutch. He hated to believe what a fucking Fae was telling him, but it added up. Golems were known to be able to track anything; relentless hunters. Now he knows it was all thanks to tiny machines.

"Serves you right! The Ve should've be wiped out centuries ago." The Fae laughed. Stupid, musical laughter. Kivet couldn't take it! He lunged at the taller man, causing them to fall to the ground. They seemed shocked and caught off guard. Kivet spread his wings threateningly and hissed in his face, taking joy in seeing the spots of saliva that splattered that stupid, perfect face. The human seemed to be saying something, but all Kivet saw was red. His instincts tuned out all other distractions and focused on their prey. He tried to let out a threatening laugh, but it only sounded broken with emotion. "Not strong, huh? Then what does that say about you?"

The Fae relaxed suddenly, much to his confusion. "Hear that? The Golems are coming." And they were. Their heavy footfalls could be heard not too far away. Likely near where Kivet had left the mutt and it's parent's bodies. He acted solely on instinct and shot off flying towards the sound of the noise. He had to see it for himself. His wings burned from the effort, not used to going faster than a leisurely pace. He stumbled in the air when one popped. Likely a sprain or dislocation, not broken. He fought through the pain until he heard the voices nearly under him. He landed on a sturdy tree branch and started to leap his way across to get a better view, yet be less visible. He didn't know much of their language, but he could pick out a few words "Troll. Her. Reward." They weren't tracking a Ve afterall! But who was this Troll? Someone important for the Golems to make a special trip. Maybe a criminal? Didn't matter. They could kill her for all he cared. Wasn't his problem.

Wait, then why was that Fae in a human village if not to warn him? The fucker came up with some random story to district him from his job! A Fae in a human village was very clearly against the rules. He inwardly scolded himself for not realizing earlier. Oh, he was going to pay!

Kivet turned to move, forgetting about his hurt wing, and stumbled slightly. The rustling attracted the attention of one of the Golems. He froze as he was stared directly in the eye. Neither made a move for what felt like forever. Another Golem said something to the one watching him who then turned his attention away. This was the perfect opportunity to run! So why couldn't he move? The one who had spotted him said something about a bird before the group continued on their way. Did a Golem just cover for him!? Wait, why would that be shocking? Ve had important jobs and couldn't afford to be distracted by insignificant creatures. Surely that was public knowledge by now.

He should really go after that one Fae, but right now he was just too tired, rules be damned. He doubted he could sleep with all that had happened in the past few hours. It seemed like weeks had passed since he last awoke. He wrapped himself into a snug position and closed his eyes.

[buckys-forgotten-plum]

I prefer Bucky, Doll ||3||

Read Part 2 Here

Prompt:  James Buchanan Barnes has been coming to your weekend market table for a while now and finally has something to ask.

Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Steven Rogers being an idiot, Y/n also being and idiot, a very sad and very soft James Barnes. 

wowzers a part three. At this rate I might have to actually become a regular writer and not be a lazy pos. 

Please, Like, Follow, Reblog, Comment, Sing, Dance, whatever you wanna do! 

Have a nice day guys and enjoy reading :)

                                                                 ~

“James you look so handsome in your uniform,” you compliment happily to the man standing in front of you.

James had just arrived to take you and Steve to his send off. It was a sad day but you still made sure to wear your prettiest dress and bake a dozen of your famous snicker doodle cookies for him. 

“Thanks doll, you look lovely as usual.” Bucky blushes and looks down at the small bouquet of flowers clutched in his hands. He was a bit embarrassed about his gift choice. why would I get flowers for a girl who sells them for a living. 

“Are you giving those to Stevie?” you joke and motion towards the pretty bundle of flowers that Bucky seemed to be holding on to for dear life. You couldn’t be too mad though, your grip on that poor bag of cookies was just as tight. 

Bucky let out a quiet laugh, handing over the flowers with a sheepish grin, “Sorry doll, can’t say I ain’t nervous or anything,” 

A soft breath of air leaves your lips, “I know, James. It’s going to feel a bit... Lonely, here. Especially at work,” You finish the sentiment with a tight smile. 

James doesn’t respond, only smiles back and takes your hand in his. 

________________________________________________________________

The send off was filled with tears and mothers yelling for their sons safe return. You don’t remember if Steve cried, too busy focusing on your own tears that clouded your vision. You remember Bucky’s mother holding onto him for almost up until he boarded the giant, dark grey ship. You remembered Becca sobbing loudly next to Steve. You remember the way, after his mother letting him go, how he held you. It was tight and all consuming around your smaller frame, his right hand tangled deep into your hair as his left arm wrapped around your waist and his hand was latched to your hip. You remembered how he breathed deeply, shushed you quietly as your violent tears soaked the shoulder of his forest green jacket.

“Don’t cry sweetheart, I promise everything will be fine,” Bucky mumbles into your hair. 

“You can’t promise that James. That’s not fair,” Your voice is scratchy as you cry out a reply. 

“You’re right, honey. But please promise me something? Promise that you’ll look after Steve for me, yeah?” He pulls away just a bit to stare down at your surely makeup stained face. 

“W-What?” your brows furrow, face tilting into the warmth of the soldiers hand. 

“It’s just... Steve’s always had me there, during his father, after his mother. I need you to make sure he stays out of trouble... Keep em’ safe for me alright? He’s kinda stupid,” The smile that adorned James’ face was beautiful as he spoke to you. 

You’d miss it immensely.

“Okay, yes-yes I promise.” You nod your head in agreement, pushing your cheek into his hand even more. 

A sharp intake of breath made its way to your lungs as you see a few tears run down Bucky’s face. You quickly wipe them away, leaving your hands to rest gently on each side of his face. 

“See you soon. Right doll?” His smile spoke volumes as he stared down at you. 

“Of course, Bucky. I’ll see you soon,” You answer, voice shaky and weak. 

With a small, lingering kiss to you forehead and one to each cheek, Bucky lets you go and steps back. With one final wave, he turns to the ship and begins to make the small journey to board. You feel the other three onlookers step beside you and gaze upon the heavy sea of green flowing onto the main deck. 

“Lord, please get my boy home safely. I beg of you,” Ms. Barnes words cut into your heart with a deep pity and you grab onto the sleeve of Steve’s shirt for stability. 

Your small group stands there, watching the process of everyone board as family after family says goodbye to their sons, fathers, brothers, husbands... 

At some point in time, you couldn’t remember when, James’ family went home, while you and Steve stayed at the docks until the sun had begun to set. You had stopped crying after you had run out of tears to shed, Steve being there to comfort you the whole time. He told you empty promises of James’ safe return in a couple months but you couldn’t believe him, you weren’t blinded to the fatalities and ugliness of war, for God’s sake your mother had been a nurse in the first World War, she had returned with an abundance of scars and lack of hearing, Your father wasn’t fortunate to be able to come home...

“You wanna get out of here kid?” Steve’s voice had broken you out of your seemingly endless train of thoughts as he quietly asked the question.

“I’m not too sure yet Stevie... You can go on home if you need, I know you get sick real easy and it’s gonna start gettin’ cold soon,” your voice was hoarse and painful as it ground its way from your lips. 

“Y/n, you know I would never leave you out here alone! Come on, let’s get some food in ya,” Steve stood up and held his hand out for you to take. 

You hesitated for a moment before allowing his hand to grab yours and stand up. 

________________________________________________________________

Steve ended up taking you to the same diner that Bucky had taken you to on your first (and sadly last) date. It was warm and quiet inside, the newest big band record playing from the jukebox filled the air quietly, creating a comforting environment that soothed your aching heart just the slightest bit. 

“You want some pancakes, Doll?” Steve asked, a small teasing smile gracing his lips. 

You pull a sad smile on to your face and shake your head, “Just a malt is fine Stevie, thank you,” 

“Comin’ right up,” he assured, lightly knocking on the table you had chosen for your visit before heading up to the counter to get the waitress’s attention. 

As you waited, your fingers messed with the hem of your dress, tugging at the soft material and running your fingers over the few wrinkles that had managed to set themselves into it. It wasn’t long until Steve had returned with too delicious malts in his hands. You both drank the majority of them in a comfortable silence, enjoying the warm atmosphere and  each others company. 

“He’ll be alright, I know he will,” Steve mumbles, his eyes gazing up at you and just for a second, it seemed as though Steve was trying to convince himself more than you. 

You reached across the table and placed your hand upon Steve’s, “You’re right, he will,” You tried to put as much confidence in your voice as you could muster, hoping it would be enough to calm you friend. 

“Are you ready to go?” 

You nodded in agreement, Steve wasting no time in standing up and offering you his hand like the gentlemen he was. “Thank you Stevie,” 

“No problem doll,” he smiles gently, removing his hand from yours and placing it lighting on your back.

The walk back to your apartment, you assumed, would have been uneventful, until Steve had seen a recruitment center, making his feet stutter in their movements. 

“Y/n your apartment is just down the block right?” he asked absentmindedly. 

A sigh escaped your lips before you could even think about responding, “Steven don’t-” 

“It’s fine, I’ll only be minute if you don’t feel comfortable walking the rest of the way,” Steve mumbled and began walking towards the entrance like he was in some sort of trance.

“Steven Rogers you will not sign up again. You’ve done it so many times your bound to get caught, you’ve never passed one before-” “Y/n my best friend just left on a boat to go save countless lives, I owe him this,” 

You hurriedly followed Steven into the mess of canopy and folding chairs, refusing to back down.

“You owe yourself your life Steve. This is ridiculous, there are so many other ways you can help,” Your hand reached out and gripped onto his arm, turning him towards you and staring into his eyes.

“What? Collecting scrap metal like little Timmy?” “Steve-” “ Working in a factory? Y/n men are laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them, that’s what you don’t get. It isn’t about me,”

Your brows scrunched in frustration, “right, cause you got nothing to prove? At all?” 

Steve’s jaw clenched as he glanced away from you, “You can’t stop me from doing this, Y/n. I’m sorry, you just can’t,” 

You let out another begrudged sigh and refrained from slapping the man in front of you, “Fine. I’m coming with you then,” 

“What? No you’re not, the war is no place for a girl like you,” You blanched at his words. 

“A girl like me? Steve I grew up with three brothers, I have two master's degrees, and I have more than enough knowledge on what goes on in war due to what my parents went through before I was born, so excuse me but you have your views completely backwards. Now, let’s get this done and over with so I can go home because today has been complete hogwash,” You huff, grabbing Steves wrist and dragging the frozen man over to the check-in. 

________________________________________________________________

Steve was now sitting on an exam table, shoes pushed off into the corner and sleeves rolled up. You sat in another corner, ankles neatly crossed and hands folded stiffly in your lap. A young doctor stood at the small counter set up, quietly going over the documents in hand. You had no doubt they would reject Steve, just like the other five recruitment offices. Steve had the longest list of illnesses and disabilities you had ever seen, when he had first introduced himself to you it was after he had suffered an asthma attack while walking around the market with Bucky. 

Everything seemed fine until a pretty nurse walked into the room, quietly whispering into the doctors ear and leaving with him in a hurry. You could see Steve stiffen from where you sat as he quickly looked over his shoulder, his eyes roaming to the sign above your head, stating that it was illegal to lie on your form. 

“Steve,” you bit quietly in warning, your ankles uncrossing and getting ready to dash out. 

“Yup, got it, leavin’, you were right,” he agreed immediately and jumped to put his shoes on. 

“You’re damn right I was,” you mutter under your breath, too stressed to remain ladylike. 

Another man enters the room and you both freeze from your escape, two sets of wide, cautious eyes stare at the intruder as he casually walks over to the counter.  “So... You want to go overseas, kill some Nazis,” the accent made the both of you perk up a bit as you stared in awe at the doctor in front of you. 

“Excuse me?” Steve asked, slightly taken aback. 

“Dr. Abraham Erskine, I represent the Strategic Scientific Reserve,” the man walks over to you, offering his hand for you to take, which you quickly do, shaking it firmly and quietly saying you name before the doctor moves back to Steve. 

“Steve Rogers,” the man introduces, stiffly taking the others hand. 

Doctor Erskine turns away and begins to shuffle through his stack of papers once more, “Where you from?” Steve asks suddenly. 

“Steven,” you gasp at his rude intrusion and the meaning behind it. 

“It’s alright miss, I live in Queens, but if it’s that important to you, I originate from Germany, this bothers you?” Erskine’s response is calm as he turns to Steve, giving a pointed look at the other man. 

Steve shakes his head quickly, “no,”

There’s a beat of silence before the doctor responds, “Where are you from, Mr. Rogers? Mmm? Is it New Haven? Or Paramus? Five exams in five different cities,” 

He had been figured out, a sigh escaped your lips and you clapped your hand to your forehead in a mixture of defeat and frustration. 

“That might be the wrong file-” “forget about the exams, I do not care about the exams... Five different tries, now that is something I am interested in. Do you want to kill Nazis?” the doctor asked, eyes locked onto Steve's. 

“Is this a test?”

 “Yes;” 

“I don’t want to kill anybody, I just...Don’t like bullies,” Steve answered, his voice quiet but firm. 

“There are many big men fighting this war, have been for a long time, maybe now what we need,” the doctor paused for a moment, glancing in your direction, then back to Steve, “maybe we need a little guy,” 

Your eyes shot up in shock, “You’re taking him?” 

“I can give him a chance,” the doctor answered. 

“I’ll take it,” Steve agreed quickly, hopping to his feet. 

Doctor Erskine turns to you, “Miss Y/L/N, you seem... Upset,” 

“I made a promise to someone I care deeply for that I would keep Steve from doing anything stupid,” you let out a dry laugh, standing up and looking to the man who had sealed Steve’s fate. 

“So that means it would likely be best you accompany him, yes?” 

“What?” Both yours and Steve voice ask in shock, glancing at each other then back to the seemingly crazy doctor. 

“It doesn’t take much to look up a last name in these files and see if any family has served before, Miss Y/L/N. Your parents are highly decorated service members, I can only hope you have inherited their gifts?” 

You smile proudly and look Doctor Erskine in the eyes, “Fully graduated with a Masters in molecular biochemistry and another in Bioengineering sir,” 

“Your parents must be very proud, you have a chance to build upon that pride. I have a place for you on my team,” 

“A-Are you serious? Would I be staying alongside Steve?” Your voice shook as you tried to understand your situation. 

“Assuming that he doesn’t waste his single chance, that is correct. So, are you truly willing to keep your promise to that person? Will you be joining us?” Both men stared back at you expectantly as your mind reeled to catch up with what was happening. 

It only took a moment to figure out your only option. 

“When are we leaving?” You ask, finality in your voice and a new feeling beginning to bloom in your chest. 

[otomaticallyobsessed]

Quarantine Blues

Ok y’all so this is my first fic I’ve ever written... If anyone even reads this, feel free to give some feedback. I have some other fic ideas, and depending on how this goes I may or may not write those too. I think it’ll become obvious this is based off my real life circumstances - and I figured if the fic you need doesn’t exist, make it yourself right?

Karno x Reader, hurt/comfort

cw: depression, quarantine, some swearing

It was a dark, lonely night. I had been trying and failing to concentrate on my homework for hours, but to no avail. This quarantine was getting to me, seeping into my spirit and stealing away any amount of positivity and productivity I might have felt.

I am in my last semester of university. Actually, at this point I am only two weeks away from everything being finally over. But the pressure of finals, quarantine, and the reemergence of my depression is getting to me, and I am breaking down.

I sigh for probably the hundredth time in the last hour. I was getting nowhere, and the longer I sat here the more I wanted to just throw my laptop across the room, pack a bag, and go find some cabin in a woods somewhere and make my fate secluded from society.

I cast my gaze up to the night sky, trying to find some source of comfort. Immediately, my eyes are drawn to the familiar stars of the Cancer constellation. I sigh again, but this time not because of the homework.

Karno… I miss you.

I’m sure he is working harder than anyone in the heavens at the moment. I haven’t seen any of the Zodiac gods since this pandemic started, and I doubted I would anytime soon. I smile to picture Karno attempting to talk down Leon as he ripped into Zyglavis. Karno waking up Aigo for the thirteenth time that day. Karno staying up all hours of the day to make sure the department ran smoothly.

I couldn’t help but long to see him. He was always so calm, so reassuring. I could use one of his amazing hugs right now.

Ugh! Karno is working hard right now, so you should be too!

I shake my head to rid myself of thoughts of him. I didn’t want any of my wishes accidentally making its way into the department – Leon and Teo would never let me hear the end of it. And besides, I didn’t want to distract him.

I reopen my notebook, and glance back at my laptop. I really am trying to get something done, but I end up just staring at the computer screen for who knows how long. Eventually I groan and lay my head down on the desk. It was pointless.

“Well now, that’s not a sound I like hearing from you.”

I jerk up in surprise. “Karno?!” I frantically look around my room but no one is there. “Good gods I’m going insane.”

Two warm hands cover my eyes. “Well, I certainly hope not!”

I grab his hands from over my eyes, rise from my chair, and throw myself at him. “Karno!! Why did you hide?”

“I’ll admit, I thought it might be fun to play a joke. Maybe I’ve been seeing Ichthys too much. We’re all working together right now and its a little much.” He wraps his arms around me and holds me close to his chest. I missed his hands on my waist, and felt immeasurably more complete having him in my arms.

“Now, what has gotten my darling so upset I could hear her from the heavens?” I’m quiet for a second. Now that he’s here, I feel really silly thinking about telling him anything. I mean, he’s a literal god helping keep the world in balance, and I’m freaking out over a college final? “I tried to not call to you. I’m sorry if I pulled you away from something important.”

“Nothing is as important to me as you.” He whispers, making direct eye contact with me. He pulls away slightly, but only to guide me to my bed. He pulls me back close to him as we settle down. “Tell me what is wrong?”

“It’s silly.” “It’s not silly if it’s bothering you.”

“I guess its just… I can’t concentrate on anything. I can’t do anything right now either. I’ve been writing the same report for the last week. Usually something like this would take me three hours, not three days!”

“Why can you not concentrate?”

“The… uncertainty of the whole situation! This is an important coming of age time for me. Graduating college is huge for humans! And now everything is on lockdown, nobody is hiring, classes suddenly moved online, my work shut down… All within a week! And now its been six weeks, I’m still not recovered from the whiplash, and this room of mine has become a damn prison.”

He tugs me closer. “I’m so sorry, beloved. If you don’t want to worry about school anymore, you just have to wish it.” “You’re sweet… but I can’t do that. I have to do this work myself – otherwise I may have the degree but I won’t have earned it.”

“And that is why I adore you so much.” He pauses thoughtfully, then asks “Is this all that’s truly bothering you? Its certainly enough to have anyone rattled, but I feel like there may be more.”

I give off a mirthless laugh. I should have known he would notice something. He was too damn perceptive. “Maybe you’re right about that.”

“Mmm.” He acknowledges me, looking at me expectantly. His warm brown eyes show nothing but love and patience.

“Well… I don’t think gods deal with this sort of thing really but… Are you familiar with illnesses of the mind?”

“Well, I have heard of punishment cases of humans who have lost their grip on reality and hurt other because of it. Hue has mentioned though that are lots of different ways humans can be sick, physically and mentally, and that not all of them are so violent as those instances.”

I focus my gaze on the ceiling above me and take a deep breath. He waits patiently for me to say something. When I don’t, he prompts me, “I’m going to assume you suffer from an ailment of the mind as well?”

“It’s… humans call it depression.” “And what is it like?” “It can be different for anyone… But for me I can’t concentrate, and I just want to sleep all day. And all night. And just always. Always sleep. Because everything hurts, and I don’t want it to. I can’t even do the easiest assignment in the world! I can’t concentrate, and it hurts. I’m going to fail my classes and it hurts. I can’t see my family and it hurts. I can’t even take a fucking shower most days. And it hurts. Everything hurts. And it won’t stop. I can’t make it stop. I can’t make my brain shut up, and it just keeps telling me how shitty I am and-“

“Darling.” Karno calmly cuts me off. He’s taken my hand, and is slowly uncurling my fingers from my palms. I hadn’t noticed it, but I was clenching my fists so tightly that my nails had drawn blood in small crescent moons all over my palms. He rubs my back soothingly as he kisses away the tears marking my face. “How long has this been going on for?”

“All my life it comes and goes. Its… its been over a year since it’s been bad though. I was starting to think that maybe it was gone for good – it’s the longest I’ve been okay! I’ve been… good actually. I met you, I’ve made friends for the first time in my life, I’ve actually enjoyed school… But since this quarantine happened, its back. Its soul crushing, because now I know. I was naïve. It’s never going to go. It’s going to be with me forever.”

“Well. It’s a good thing I’m going to be with you forever too.”

I look up at him in shock. “Really? You don’t think I’m some kind of weirdo?” “You are a weirdo dear, but that’s because you don’t like spicy food. If we can get past that, we can get past anything.” I giggle a bit before he continues. “It breaks my heart to hear you’ve been dealing with this alone. But you don’t have to anymore, okay? Anytime you are sad, or lonely, I’m only a wish away.”

“But your work-“

“Let me worry about my work. As I said before, you are the most important thing to me.” As his words sink in, they fill me up to the brim and spill out as tears. “Please don’t cry anymore, my love. I’m here.”

“Can you just hold me?”

“Of course.”

I stay in his warm embrace, and close my eyes to inhale his scent. I could never quite place what he smelled like – probably something too divine for the likes of earth. It smells like citrus and… cinnamon, maybe. He runs his hands through my hair as I cry, and he murmurs soft words of comfort and love until I fall asleep there in his arms.

In the morning, my eyes are sore and puffy from the night before. I wake up warm and comfortable, and I realize Karno is still wrapped around me. Noticing I’m awake, he smiles gently “Good morning.” “You’re still here? I thought you would have left after I fell asleep?” He raises a questioning eyebrow. “Did you want me to?” “No!” I protest, probably a bit too quickly.

He smiles and gives me a soft, slow kiss.

“I do have to be going, my love. But I have a parting gift for you.”

“You do?” I look up at him curiously.

“Indeed. Do you remember my special power?” I nod my head, of course I do. “Well, I figured the least I can do is magnify your happiness, and productivity.” “But I thought that you could only magnify exiting properties… I don’t have either of those right now.” “Oh?” Karno smirked. “Then are you unhappy right now to see me?”

“No!”

“I know you, dearest. I know you are positive, and you are one of the most self-motivated people I know. They’re in there.” He leans over ad gives me a kiss on the forehead. Immediately, I feel a lightness and a warmth suffuse my body. “Remember my love, I am but a wish away.” He gently caresses my cheek, and I close my eyes to his touch. When I open them again, he’s gone.

I was sad to see him go, but no longer lonely. In fact, I felt better than I had in weeks. My love for him filled my chest until I felt like bursting.

Well then. Best not to waste a divine gift.

Time to kick an essays ass.

[kacychase]

MM - My story to you (707xMC)

SUMMARY

This is my legacy for you.

Saeyoung, I know that you can see me here. Whoever you are, wherever you are, this is my legacy for you. You don’t need to wait forever as long as we are together. And to cherish and love you, I wrote this piece for you. Our love story…

In case you get lonely, in case you have doubts, I will always be here to take your doubts away.

Hoping that you’ll always love me as much as I love you~

Your wife always,

Hana

.

.

.

.

~---°---~

Word count: 4555

When you read this, Saeyoung, I hope that you remember the early days. Haha, in fact, I don’t really know how I landed there in the first place, how “Unknown” has chosen me to be hacked. Maybe I have been just a random puppet to him, one in a million…?

But either way, I’m glad I met you.

Back then, when I entered the house, and suddenly, the phone has been entering the chat messages, you have immediately reacted to my arrival. In retrospect, it was pretty typical of you to analyse my profile, find out my credentials, my number, likely my credit card details (thanks for not hacking me hehe~). Funnily, you were immediately the one teasing about everything.

Hahaha, just as I read what you wrote, I just couldn’t help it.

Back then, in confusion, I was trying to grasp the information you and the rest of the RFA had given me – and to be honest, I was a little scared that I might have been in trouble. However, as things finally started to calm down, I finally caught myself catching a breather.

The first time we somewhat got acquaintance was right after you did a background check on me.

You as Seven, hacked yourself into my life and into my heart, and before you could pull away, you couldn’t break through your own firewall. See how well you kept me as our wife to make these jokes? Aren’t you proud reading this, hehe~ I hope I will get more good wifey points from you once we have finally married in our own little spaceship.

Hadn’t it been for that moment, I wouldn’t have known for myself how to get to you.

.

Oh, that day… It was a tough day for both of us.

“Cheer up meow! You’re with the person you like meow!”

I couldn’t imagine what kept you out, what kind of burden and pain made you restrain and go back this much. Initially, I was convinced to cheer you up and lighten up your day, but now… I can’t help but already feel unsettled.

Your words could’ve cut through butter: “Why is this on again…” Your way of eyeing the cute robotic cat didn’t affect the little fellow, however. Completely unwavering, your own programmed cat responded in its perfected fashion: “I turn on when I sense depression meow! You’re with the person you like meow!”

Man…

I wish that this forced confession would’ve meant more now, but as your face distorts in frustration and anger, I can’t help but worry.

‘What happened to you, Seven…?’ was a thought that played through my head non-stop, knowing that my previous calls didn’t change your attitude… But you sounded happier then.

“You like meow! You like meow! You like meow!” I nearly would’ve chuckled from the cuteness of this thing, hadn’t you finally lost your last straw with it. Your glasses partly reflected your eyes as you stood up, but I could figure that you weren’t exactly amused.

“Damn it. Shut up…!,” you yelled in your annoyance, making me sober up. This was no fun time for you. Trying to look at what’s wrong, the following movements all were so sudden: you approaching the cat, taking it into your hand, and taking a big swing…

With this, your own sweet recreation of Elizabeth  the 3rd was no more – or rather, became many pieces scattered on the floor.

My face hardened at this sight, knowing that he might regret it later… And I couldn’t just watch all of this on the floor. It hurt. “ think it’s broken… Can I fix it?”

Muttering those words to you didn’t seem to help your mood become any calmer. “Just leave it. It’s useless,” you just replied, eyes looked on the pieces as if to avoid my eyes. This room, all of these insides felt even colder than before. The bomb suddenly didn’t bother me as much.

“I’ll throw it away later,” you said with a effortlessly booming, icy voice, although you probably didn’t try to sound menacing. At least I would always trust you not to hurt me. Just as assured as I am now, writing this piece to you, I used to be back then.

Your words… It was a bittersweet, funny thought. “And I’ll be leaving soon, so just forget about me.” While you tried to push me away, throwing knives into my heart, it’s as if it was the only goal for you. You seemed to run away, and with this, the hacker 707 became the most predictable person I could hack myself. Neither me, nor the RFA were meaningless to you, and your efforts to protect us proved it.

“I’m sure you’re just upset over Yoosung!,” I just replied with as much enthusiasm as I could muster – I hated the cold feeling of the apartment, “Cheer up!” I just wanted him to be happy, to forget his grief. And I have always been glad to be born a fighter. Your statement: “It’s none of your business how I feel” sobered me up like anything else. But sulking and choosing to be hurt wasn’t an option for me when I knew what my goal was.

I would not take these empty phrases to heart. Back then I already knew that this was not the true Seven or Luciel. Or the true you… And ironically, you started saying these things as if you purposefully tried to contradict yourself: “You wouldn’t have known, but this is how I’ve always felt. There was never a single day when I wasn’t depressed.”

‘This man would make me start praying to God again’, I thought. I wanted to make you feel liberated for a change, to help you with your burden. But then, as you said these words, I understood that if you struggled for a long time… Maybe you didn’t know how to confide in me? Maybe you needed to figure out how to share and disclose yourself to other people before you could trust me?

The silence of me staring right back into his honey-golden eyes seemed to make him nervous, and he continued saying icy things: “Can’t you see that it was all a lie? The jokes, the pranks, all the laughs! Don’t think about me, just think about protecting yourself!”

It would be the least thing I would want, but knowing that you were (still are) the more capable out of both of us, I assured you instead: “I can protect myself so don’t worry!” I threw right back at him with a cocked eyebrow, remembering that during my time in middle school and high school, I did have quite a few self-defense classes. “I’m pretty strong.” I couldn’t help but smirk a little in my pride.

Instead of indulging, you kept up your façade: “You’re underestimating your opponents” and I knew that you as well were a fighter for your own things. For some reason, it made me believe in you even more. You wouldn’t give up on me, as much as I couldn’t give up on you. “You’ll really be in danger with that attitude.”

Not as if we weren’t already, I wanted to say but I realized that it was both ill-intended and unproductive. I didn’t want to lunge back at you. It’s what you twistedly wanted, and I was not going to let you down. “You’re so similar to Yoosung,” you muttered, looking down at thee wooden floor of Rika’s apartment, a sad smile appearing and vanishing just as fast. “Yu don’t have a care in the world regardless of what’s going on,” you said to me, and I couldn’t help but see him for what state you were in right then.

You avoided everyone, worked day and night, eyebags on your face, you lashed out on people you cared for, and were scared. “I just want to be with you, because I like you!” Sometimes, a hacker might see the code as too complicated due to circumstances.

“How many times do I have to repeat myself…,” you started muttering as you corrected your posture, your left hand now tightly gripping onto your headphone cable, “I can’t be with you. We can’t be anything together!” Your hand trembled, and I just listened to your every word.

“Everything that surrounds me… is an illusion that exists in a temporary life of an agent named 707. They’ll all soon fade away. My house, my cars, RFA, you, this place, everything… one day they will disappear like the morning fog. A real life, real things I can have… don’t ever think and hope those things can exist.”

“Yoosung, Hana, all the members, even if you say that you like me… my life…,” suddenly, you let loose of that cable, both of your hands dangling helplessly, just as your head looked down, “y life can’t embrace anything. You don’t know how it feels to live that kind of life. Don’t be nice to me when you don’t know anything. Please… get away from me.”

No. Even if it had been for the best of both of us, I wouldn’t have been able to fulfil your request because I loved you too much. I was and would always selfishly fight for you, and I still do it. I don’t regret anything, and I appreciate your support every day.

“Just leave me alone…”

I felt it in every bone.

“The person you like is the 707 in the chatroom, not me!,” you cried out, suddenly looking straight-up at me in bewilderment. I didn’t know whether what you said scared me or you more… But I wouldn’t accept it. I had to support you.

“Then please let me understand the person in front of me!” It broke my heart to see you like this, and after that incident, I have always known that you felt guilty for treating me like this, Saeyoung. But please understand… there is nothing to apologize for when you are scared.

And therefore I hugged you. God, you trembled so badly, your breath might have hitched. It was as if my senses went off immediately – you were so close, your smell of Honey Buddha chips and PhD Pepper, your matching racing heartbeat, your hitched breath were so much at once, but man.

I was glad I did that right thereafter.

You whispered my name. “Why are you doing this to me?” Suddenly, a dagger hit my heart. I wished it wouldn’t have hurt that much hearing you say that. But you struggled. I would be there for you, no questions asked. And if you read this, my dearest partner in crime, Agent 707, Saeyoung, husbando, please understand that this still counts, okay?

Okay.

Further on, you insisted that you couldn’t embrace anything, that your life was wrong from the beginning, dangerous and filled with lies… I instantly felt my heart drenched and twisted like a wet towel. As you said that you couldn’t protect me or your brother, that was it. I felt a little tear falling down, and couldn’t help but to shake a little. Secretly, I hope you wouldn’t feel it.

With a silent whisper, you asked: “Why can’t you understand me?”

Another tear, and silence. I didn’t want you to hear that I cried, didn’t want you to worry, so it prolonged my answer. For that, I sounded even more assured: “I like the Seven that’s in front of my eyes. Regardless of how complicated your life is. I want to know.”

Haha, Saeyoung, see how I remembered every word? While you said that you could remember every one of our conversations, I can just say that I do, too. And I treasure every one of them in my memories.

“Hana… Don’t do this… please… I-I-,” you mumbled in a gut-wrenching plea, showing your true suffering for something, and I hugged you even tighter. “I cherich you… I want to make you hapy… but I can’t! Why do you want to be with me when I’m so dangerous?”

‘It’s you, Seven’, I thought to myself, knowing fully well that it had always been you. It would always be you. “Why do you like me!”

It was you.

“There is no reason. I just like you. That’s how I feel!,” I call him out, suddenly my own voice shivering. With that, I suddenly felt your chest decreasing, letting out air both you and I had been holding. Your sigh was so relieving to hear, and I felt distress flooding out of my veins.

“You’re impossible, Hana,” you muttered, making me chuckle a little at his frustrated tone. “You’re so strange. I feel like I’m going strange, too. Why aren’t you giving up?!” When your voice broke, my face felt like the cat on the floor, shattered to pieces.

“Why aren’t you getting hurt and abandoning me?!” That was it. I couldn’t listen to it any longer. I didn’t want to hear you say these things, hurt yourself and me in the process. I loved you, and wanted you to be happy. As you continued to rant, I suddenly uttered a word, and it felt so incredibly hard to speak up.

It nearly was as if a wall refused to make me do so.

“You.”

Your body stiffened, and you turned around. For some reason, your stare was even more scared when you looked down on me, and your eyes widened. Letting my arms go off of him, I just couldn’t help but stare back. Why was he so bewildered to look at me.

“You shouldn’t have been able to…,” you stared at me, eyes teary. “Seven…,” I said, suddenly feeling like hugging him. So I did.

“Hana… Are you…,” he muttered in shock, body shivering even more. “I-I will protect you, Hana, I promise. You survived, you’re alive, and I will keep it that way,” you mumbled, suddenly hugging me tightly and back then not knowing what it meant, I just tried to hug you back.

“Can I be next to you when you work?,” I asked you back then, but you didn’t move. “A-Alright,” you replied with a shivery breath.

“I can’t guarantee that I will be good for you, Hana. I don’t think I will be good for you,” you remarked and went out of the embrace, looking at me meaningfully. Your golden eyes sparkled through your glasses, and I couldn’t help but softly push a little bit of your hair strands away.

“Your eyes…,” he whispered, “They’re beautiful.”

I had no clue what that meant back then, but I just replied that so were yours. My smirk seemed to have reached you as well. And as both of us felt that there was nothing to say anymore, you announced: “Time to go back to work.”

At that very moment, I already asked myself how the heck I had flipped the switch for you, an unknowing feeling in my tummy region as I approached you.

There was only one chair in your work area, and I realized that my tummy growled. You immediately turned towards me. “There should be some leftover stuff from yesterday,” you just immediately announced, just as your tummy started to growl as well.

With a small grin, I just responded: “I made sushi today. There have been some for you, too, so it’s definitely time to eat!” “I need to w-“ “I know, I’ll bring it, Seven.”

Quickly ignoring your protests, I ran off to the kitchen, knowing that I put extra much effort into the sushi. Even trying the inside out rolls, I smile at myself as I made a smiley out of the little plate with rolls. In the hopes that you weren’t a picky eater, I transported both plated to your station, putting it on a table where usually, your Honey Buddha Chips and your empty PhD bottles would have situated. I decided bring them away soon in my head.

However, your face was the best when you discovered what exactly I brought you. “God, Hana…,” you muttered, visibly gulping. “Why are you so nice to me? After I’ve been angry with you…”

“It’s because I have feelings for you. Plus, I would love you to try my sushi,” I smiled brightly and received a confused, yet admiring stare from my counterpart. “You’re too positive for your own good,” you finally smiled back at me with these words, seeing the smiley on the plate. As both of us took the chopsticks, I realized I forgot drinks. “Ah! Do you want to drink something or-“

As if reading my thoughts, you suddenly pulled out a bottle of PhD Pepper and man, I could have sworn it wasn’t there before. And yes, after that, both you and I know that it wasn’t there. “A tribute to the Gods for my beautiful existence and for having you in my life!,” you just rambled out of nowhere, probably to light up the mood.

I couldn’t help but blush though. “Thank you, Seven. I’m glad that we can get along like this,” I sincerely couldn’t help but saying this, but your eyes intensively stared back. With that, you put away your headphones, probably because we were about to eat. “You’re too good for this world, Hana. I want you to know that I want to make you happy from now on…”

Your words made my heart skip a beat, and the way you blushed… While you might have pulled up your sleeves – with very handsome lower arms – I couldn’t help but stare at your gushing face still. “Hey, Seven.”

As you looked up, I desperately wanted to kiss you. So much, but I didn’t know whether I would overwhelm you again.

So I took a deep breath.

“Could you feed me again please?”

This was WAY better, hahaha. God, even writing this, your reaction was hilarious! I bet still that both of us thought of the time you were still angry, and fed me all flustered. WheI asked you oer the call, I honestly wouldn’t have expected you to accept it.

But this time, I was less surprised.

“Okay, if that’s what it takes you to e-eat,” you stammered, your face competing with your hair for redness. Man, you looked adorable to me.

“Hmm… Maybe, I can feed you, too, so that all of us are treated equally,” I replied with a little grin.

“How can you be quirkier than 707, Hana?! You’re really strange!,” you finally called out on me, grinning nervously. I just couldn’t help but laugh it off.

“I still love you, Seven, Luciel, or however you want to be called, I asked you to feed me last time. I want to repay with gratefulness!”

And with that, where there has been coldness in the apartment, your chuckle… I don’t know whether you do it on purpose, but it is still absolutely beautiful. It makes my gloomy days sparkle brightly, and my face can’t help but have this lovestruck face you fall for so much. I could have listened to you forever back then.

“That’s it,” you say, your eyes shining in a breathtaking way. With that, you took the chopsticks into your had, picked up a Sushi from your plate and chirped: “Open your mouth, kitty~”

As I chewed happily while looking at him, when all of a sudden he asked something of me.

“Please… call me Saeyoung. It’s who I truly am.”

.

.

After that, for some reason, we could’ve taken up to any challenge. The RFA was happy for us, and even after a lot of effort, you, my Saeyoung – as I came to uncover his past – could save your brother and have him live in our apartment. Things were crazy, we went along too well for our own good, to the point of you proposing to me after a month. God… The door thing was a crazily good idea.

But there was one thing that was strange, and I didn’t know how to tell you during those days when we ate, when we were grocery shopping, or when both of us worked next to each other on that computer. Most of the time, I was finished before you and I could cuddle on your lap after… It was amazing. Still is.

However, there are… weird things going on. Ever since the messenger mystery has been solved, I could live a life chatting with everyone, but since the first day of us as a couple, I couldn’t help but see them… Glitches.

It had been so weird, but scary, and I didn’t know how to tell you. I dreamed of losing you, and I was afraid that I was about to disappear when parts of binary code appeared on my hand that night.

“OH MY GOD!,” I shrieked into the usually tranquil and loving night that we had.

“Hana?!,” you called on me, immediately worried since you knew that I wouldn’t be easily shaken. “What is it?! A bug again?! A bad dream?? Do you need anything?!” Bewildered that he couldn’t see the obvious glitch on my hand, I couldn’t help but point it out: “Can’t you see it?!”

“What?”

Your voice was extremely confused, just as your face was speaking of alarm. Wearing your glasses today, I know that you would have to see it as I held up my arm.

And seeing that I had not much to explain, I still tried to soothe us both. “Saeyoung… I don’t know what this is, and I don’t know how to get rid of it. Could you know what it-“

“The game… It’s starting to fall apart.”

All of a sudden, the whole atmosphere was scary. I could practically feel your heartbeat from far away, and for the love of God, I didn’t know what you meant. “What do you mean?”

Panic seemed to influence your fingers as you grasped my face, your pupils dilating. “Please don’t disappear, Hana, I- I might have made a mistake.”

In complete confusion, but used to that emotion, I brace myself by taking a deep breath: “Please explain the situation to me. I’m here. I won’t go.” This was to soothe both of us as I had no fucking clue what was happening to my arm. The green numbers on black ground felt like a huge computer screen.

Hearing you mumble: “It’s lagging… I knew it…” and other things scared the heck out of me, Saeyoung. Don’t pull this shit ever again on me, you hear?!

“Saeyoung…” My voice was increasingly panicky as I picked up the vibe that you were exerting.

“You see everything around us, Hana?” We could have heard a pin drop at the silence.

“Yes. What about it?”

“Well…,” you muttered, and with that, you pressed the enter key.

And this was when I finally understood what you have said all the way. The ugly truth, the failure to protect, the way you were anxious of leaving…

All of the things around us, even Saeran bursting into the room… It turned into a huge mess of binary codes, other commands I have seen you type, and so, so much more…

“Saeyoung?”

“Right now, I have created all of it. I wished for it a while ago…,” I looked at you in bewilderment. “I wanted to help out people of this world because the world is cruel, Hana. This world was made to satisfy someone’s obsessions, nothing more. I’m just a pawn of this. So are you. I couldn’t have you near me because I wanted to resist this.”

Your chest began to shake, but I was suddenly taken aback. What… What the fuck happened to me?! My vision started to blur.

“I’m just here to help someone else, and I was supposed to leave,” you muttered to explain this to me, “But here I am, loving you and being engaged to you.”

Seeing your face has pained me the most. I couldn’t help but be in utter shock. “Then why… Why did you do this?”

His face scrunched into a painful smile. “You broke the fourth wall. You are someone. And I want to protect you from this.” I listened to your story, to what this world was supposed to be, how I might have been a player who glitched into my own body.

But imagine if my words had been any other than the ones I ultimately said: “I will stay with you, Saeyoung. No questions asked. We will fix it.”

Looking at me in awe, with tears in his eyes, he closed the gap between us, eyes closed. I immediately put my arms around you as you remembered, deepening the kiss and responding to this fiery and heated kiss. I loved how much we were able to share, to inhibit our shyness towards each other. But this hurt.

It hurt so much when we broke apart

“If you survive this, Hana… You might become the wizard’s apprentice, too. But if you wish to come back to your old self, I wouldn’t fault you…,” you whispered crying, and as you broke, you just decided to look me dead in the eye, knowing that with his past, and this current state of me slowly becoming unreal, I could say anything.

“H-how?!,” I replied in desperation, tears streaming down my face at the distress. “I want to be with you, Saeyoung! I wish for us to be together and happy! Is this too much to ask?!,” I screamed into the void around and glared at him. “How the hell could you have hidden it to everyone?! What about that damn wish?! God… This is messed up, Saeyoung.”

As the world reconstructed itself around us, I couldn’t help but keep my eyes trained at yours, guilt haunting his face. “You know what. How did you know what happened?” You stared at me, knowing full well that back then, you left me in utter confusion. “Your eyes… normally, you weren’t supposed to have any. But look at yourself.” Looking at his glass reflection, I tracked myself – light brown hair with bangs put up in a bun, angry hfnwn eyes looking back at myself, I realized…

I remembered. I played the game myself. This wasn’t my original me…

But I still don’t care. “God, I’m sorry, Saeyoung,” I said to him, realizing how many times he must’ve watched me play this game. “It’s alright, you played my route nearly all the time,” he chuckled emptily back at me, “Someone was obsessed with me~”

Blushing, I responded: “Well, yeah! See? I would choose you again! The first time was me being a newbie…”

“Well, MC,” God that felt weird, “What now?”

.

.

.

With our first child on the way – it feels like two though – I feel like I chose the right path, don’t you think, Saeyoung? You have asked me how it was to find everything out, all of a sudden to ask that. It was a shock, but I decided to focus on what I truly wanted. I want you.

So here I am, with my lovely husbando, married at the space station, a horribly unhealthy eater and great taste in your car babies~

With the goal to be a good wifey… Both of us don’t exist, but to us both, we do.

And that is what counts, doesn’t it?