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onlyjaeyun · 6 months

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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 – 𝟓𝟎

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘: 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒.𝟏𝐤 (not proofread im sorry)

"Please, pick up", Jongseong begs quietly as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel of his car, "please, Baby. Please, pick up the phone."

In his twentyeight years of life he's never been as anxious, nervous and stressed as he is in this particular moment and as Jay tries his best to follow all the traffic rules, a wave of flashbacks from your last panick attack at your own apartment hit him, yet this time it seems to be even worse.

He knows you're safe.

His men are with you and from Donyeom's last call only two minutes ago, he knows there are actually enough of them to take down a whole football team, let alone your two brothers. Yet the feeling of nausea seems to become permanent the longer the drive to your apartment takes and the scenarios in his head start drifting into the worst directions possible.

By the time the young CEO finally parks his car right in front of your aprtment building, his eyes nervously roam his surroundings, desperately searching for the rental car his security guard had mentioned about twenty minutes ago, only to realise that his is the only one in eyesight.

With his heart brutally slamming against his rib cage, Jay walks up to your boys, the faces now familiar like he's known them all his life and as he approaches the grouo of young males, they don't hesitate to reassure him of your safety.

"She's safe, Jay", Seyeon says quickly, his thick eyebrows furrowed as he looks the business man up and doen to make sure of his physical well-being.

"I – Where are they, Yeonie? What the fuck happened? And why didn't you guys tell me about this?"

Jay knows he's wrongfully accusing the boys, yet in this particular moment he's not ready to admit the fact that this is his mistake and his only.

He should have made a proper background check on the two men he hired. He should have taken even better precautions. He should have been more careful.

"Calm down", the young boy says calmly and doesn't stray away from Jongseong's strict gaze.

"They left as soon as more of your men arrived ten minutes ago. And we didn't tell you because we didn't know. You should have told us about this!"

Jay's eyes scan every single one of Seyeon's expressions, the accusation hitting him at full force and if it wasn't for the intense anxiety mixing with adrenaline in his veins, he would have been a little more rational and less emotional, yet the louder the young boy's words become in his head, the harder it becomes to fight back the tears of guilt.

"I'm sorry", Jongseong whispers softly, his voice breaking at the end of his apology as a thin veil of tears blurs his vision.

Seyeon's cold expression immediately softens at the sight of the usually so strong and rather distant CEO in such a vulnerable state and without giving it another thought, he pulls Jay into a tight hug.

"She's safe. That's what matters. We'll talk about this when you're in a better headspace. Go and see your girl now, big boss."

Jay almost instinctively buries his face in the neck of the teenager, not realising just how shaken up he is before he pulls away, nods and wordlessly passes the rest of the boys to enter your apartment complex.

Just like the last time, Jong doesn't waste time waiting for the elevator to areive and opts to sprinting the stairs all the way to the fifth floor and when usually he'd do something so physically challenging would never faze him, he can barely catch his breath the moment he finally comes to stand in front of your apartment with about ten of his men all lined up in the hallway, waiting for him.

"Has she finally opened the door, Dokyeom?" Jay's eyes anxiously scan the face of the security guard, only for him to shake his head before verbally responding to his question.

"Fuck", this time Jong simply can't hold himself from getting louder, the anxiety and stress driving him into absolute insanity.

"What the fuck is she doing? Is she even in there? What if they somehow got in there and are holding her hostage? Why haven't you guys kicked in her fucking door yet? What the fuck is this shit?"

None of the man dare to speak up as their young boss loses himself in the panic of your absence and their silence just seems to drive him even crazier.

"Answer my fucking questions, Dokyeom! Why the fuck aren't you guys saying anything?"

Jay's voice is loud, louder than any of the men have ever heard him and in no other situation would he raise his volume like this, yet the mere thought of you being in danger has easily turned him into the worst version of himself he's ever experienced.

"Did something happen to her? Did something happen to the love of my life? Somebody just fucking say something – anything", without even realising, Jongseong reaches for Dokyeom's collar, his grip tight enough to turn his knuckles white as he looks at the young man with teary eyes, "please, don't tell me something happened to her."

And just as said security guard opens his mouth to say something, Jong finally notices the movement in the corner of his eye and with his heart brutally slamming against his rib cage, he turns his head to get a proper view, only to be met with the sight of you, the love of his life.

For a whole minute, the world as well as his heart come to a stop just to spin and beat even faster the next second, leaving the business man lightheaded as relief takes over his whole body.

You carefully watch the way Jongseong's facial expressions soften as his brain processes your presence and at the way his usually so soft and gentle eyes are filled with pain and panic you can't stop the tears from streaming down your cheeks.

The past two hours passed by in a blur. After spending a good hour just crying about your little argument, you didn't even bother taking a shower and just went straight to your apartment, craving a nice hot bath to calm yourself down and give your brain at least an hour to shut everything else out and focus on the warm water and silence.

You didn't know what to expect from your boyfriend, yet it definitely wasn't fifteen missed calls, especially after stepping out of the shower to the sound of way too many male voices on the other side of your door.

As the panic overwhelmed your body, you didn't even bother changing into your pyjamas and simply having a quick look through your peephole to ease your messy thoughts. To your luck the sight of about ten men in suits, Dokyeom and Mingyu included, it didn't take much time for you to calm down again.

You didn't even get to call your worried boyfriend back as his loud voice made its way through your thin walls and as if the universe had just waited for him to say those four words, you opened the door and stepped into the hallway just to hear him call you the love of his life.

A wave of guilt washes over your body as you take in the sight of your boyfriend in his actual pyjamas, hair messily falling into his bare face and his shaky hands as he pulls away from the security guard with his pretty eyes widened in nothing but relief.

"My Angel", is the first thing to leave Jongseong's lips before he approaches you and quickly pulls you into his arms, his mind too messy as it tries to make him believe that you're not actually there, only for all those thoughts to leave his head as soon as you wrap your arms around his neck and your sweet scent embraces him in the most perfect way possible.

"I'm so sorry, Jongie", you whisper into his ear, your soft cries breaking his heart but Jay doesn't dare use his voice just yet, so all he does is shake his head in response.

"I'm okay, I promise", your words, your voice, your touch easily calms his heart down enough and with a soft sigh Jay allows you to pull away just enougj to meet your gaze, "everything is okay. I'm here. I'm safe."

It's then that Jongseong realises that his body went into an anxiety attack, something he hasn't had in so long it actually overwhelmed him to the point where he didn't recognize his own reactions. While last time you were the one to follow the pattern of his breathing, it's him doing it with yours now, inhaling and exhaling deeply for who knows how long.

"There you go, you're doing so good for me, my love", you whisper softly, holding his face so gently, it feels like you're afraid to break him into pieces if you made a wrong move.

You're quick to pull him back into a hug once his breathing is back to normal and as Jay deeply inhales your scent, he finally finds his way back to reality.

You're here. In his arms. Safe and sound.

"You need to come home with me, Baby", Jay whispers into your ear, not rrady to let go of you just yet, "we can sleep in separate rooms if you want to. Fuck, I'll even stay at Hoon's if that's what you need me to do but please, I need you to come home with me, angel girl. It's too dangerous, you're not safe here."

His words definitely take you aback but as soon as you saw those missed calls on your phone display, you knew something had happened because Jongseong would have never panicked this much for nothing.

"Of course, Jongie", you reply calmly and take his face into your hands again, gently caressing his cheeks and quickly wiping away the single tear drop which had managed to escape.

"I'm going to explain everything to you in the car. Go ahead and get changed, we'll go when you're ready."

All you can do is nod with big, teary eyes, still not quite over your boyfriend's intense reaction and although you're not necessarily scared or anxious, there's still this weird feeling of panic crawling underneath your skin, leading you to be as fast as physically possible.

You don't even bother taking anything but your phone and your keys as you step out of your bedroom dressed in random sweats you found on the floor and the oversized hoodie you had on when you had arrived to your apartment about three hours ago. You give Jongseong a nod of approval and instinctively reach for his hand, only for him to pull you even closer to his body, yet remaining just as quiet as you.

The car drive to your boyfriend's penthouse is filled with silence until Sunghoon's name pops up on Jong's phone and the young business man makes sure to give his best friend an update on the whole situation after only texting him a single text message and then not picking up any of his calls.

You can hear the other boys' voices in the back as they all let out exclaims of relief upon receiving the news of your wellbeing and it doesn't take Jongseong longer than a few minutes to end the call.

You're glad he agreed to let Dokyeom drive, as he realized that sitting behind the wheel in such an emotional state might not be the best idea.

Jongseong reaches for your face, his knuckles softly graze your cheek before he places two of his fingers underneath your chin and tilts your head up. You don't even wait for his next move as you push your lips against his and indulge in the sweet feeling of his kiss.

The kiss is soft. It's gentle and so full of love, you feel it fill your chest with warmth in a way only Park Jongseong has ever been able to, a feeling of comfort and security quickly following.

It doesn't take much for you to lose yourself in the sweetness of him and the second Jay pushes your chin down just enough to push his tongue into your mouth, a soft whimper bubbles up your throat and loudly echoes through the silence in the car.

Jay doesn't want to pull away. He just got a taste of his favorite drug after what feels like ages, yet he'd never risk letting his men hear what's meant for his ears and his only.

To his luck, you're only about five more minutes left until you two are back in the safety of his penthouse and for the first time in the past few hours, Jongseong finally doesn't struggle to take a breath.

With a soft sigh he gives you one last kiss on the lips but doesn't move a single inch, knowing you both need the close proximity now more than ever.

That's probably exactly why neither one of you bothers to walk further than the couch as soon as you step through the door and into the warmth of your shared home.

While he was still a little hesitant in the car because of his men, Jay doesn't seem to have an ounce of patience left in his body as he pulls you onto his lap the second he plops down on the couch next to you.

You don't know how much time passes until Jay starts to speak, you're too mesmerized by the sight of his soft yet somehow sharp features, his pretty eyes and plump lips. You've missed looking at him like this, with no time pressure or the fear of someone seeing the two of you like this.

It's finally just the two of you and nothing else matters.

"There's no need to panic or be worried, okay, Baby? Everything's taken care of now but some things didn't go according to plan", Jong begins and pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, his tired eyes never once leaving yours and you can't even get yourself to verbally respond, so all you to is nod.

"It's about my brothers, isn't it?" You finally find your voice after a beat of silence and this time it's your boyfriend who just simply moves his head to answer your question.

"Apparently the men I hired to take care of them are working for someone else, which is why and how they found your addressed and basically camped in front of your apartment building, waiting for you to come back."

You attentively listen to your boyfriend's words and despite a wave of horror washing over you, you find yourself more focused on the way he suddenly avoids your gaze, something you're not quite used to from him. It takes you a few seconds but as soon as you notice the way he nervously starts chewing on the inside of his cheek, you can finally put a name on the emotion written all over his face.

Shame.

"Why are you ashamed, Jongie?", you don't even think about the part with your brothers, too consumed by Park Jongseong, just as usual.

"Because I put you in danger", he whispers, not an ounce of his usual confidence and certainty to be seen, "I didn't do roper background checks on those two men and that's why those fuckers felt so comfortable waiting for you."

Saying these words out loud are supposed to feel relieving, but all it does is make Jay's conscience cry out even louder as guilt, shame and embarrassment take over every inch of his body.

"Jongie, you–", "Don't try to find excuses for this, Baby. I promised to always keep you safe and protected, yet the danger was right there, right in front of our eyes and I failed to see it. I failed to keep my promise because of a mistake so stupid, a mistake that should have been avoided at all costs. I'm sorry."

Maybe it's the fact that you haven't been this close to him in what feels like an eternity or maybe it's about you two getting into your first argument and maybe, just maybe it's because you've never loved a person the way you love Park Jongseong, but regardless of the reasoning, you can't help but feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes at his words.

There's just something about him that gets to you in a way you can't even explain. It's like that tiny shaking in his voice just slices a knife through your heart, yet the comfort it comes with heals you just as fast.

"Jongie, look at me, please", you say softly and are now the one to take his face into your hands, your lips stretching into a soft smile as soon as his gaze meets yours.

"You're human, Jay. Things like these happen and that's okay. There's no point in beating yourself up over this, because it was exactly that: a mistake. Mistakes are done unintentionally", you never once avert your eyes from his and feel yourself falling in love with him all over again, "besides, you never broke your promise. Dokyeom was with me the whole time. I was never in actual danger. Please, don't be so hard on yourself, it breaks my heart to see you like this."

"No, please", Jong suddenly gulps harshly and shakes his head, "no more tears. No more pain. My heart can't bear it anymore."

You're slightly taken aback by his response and it's then that you realize that a few of your tears had managed to make their way down your cheeks and with a soft sigh you pull him into yet another kiss.

To some it might seem odd that you're the one comforting him when you just found out that your brothers have been stalking you and aren't as far away from you as you had initially believed, yet for some reason you're not as concerned about them and their silly little plans to taunt and terrorize you as you are about your boyfriend's mental and emotional state.

They're going to do whatever they need to feed their fragile ego either way, which is why you're not as scared about their actions as you were just a few weeks ago. Oh, and also the fact you're now accompanied by a six feet tall former military man most of the time now.

"It's okay, my love", you sigh and wrap your arms around his shoulders, loving the way Jay doesn't hesitate to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

His brain struggles a little process your choice of pet name, yet as soon as he processes what you had actually called him, not even for the first time tonight, Jongseong's heart finally stops aching in agony when he realizes the weight those two little words carry.

"Your...love?"

Yet, he remains hesitant because maybe it's a term you use for your friends he hasn't heard yet or you don't actually mean it the way he thinks you do and after a night of such heart break and pain, he simply doesn't have the energy to fight his demons anymore.

"Yes, Jongseong", you say confidently, pushing away slowly to look at him again, your heart thrumming in your throat at the mere thought of what you're about to tell him.

It took you exactly eight weeks to realize that you're in love with Park Jongseong. You still remember the way you caught yourself staring at him from across the room, just watching his mannerism and movements as he engaged in a conversation with the head of the team you had just listened to. The second his gaze met yours, his eyes visibly softened and his lips even stretched into a tiny little smirk. That was the exact moment you knew that your silly little crush was a lot more than that and every day for the past few weeks he had managed to make you fall even more in love with him.

The realization seemed scary at first, but now it's one of your most treasured emotions because nobody has ever made you feel as loved, appreciated, cared for and respected the way Park Jongseong has.

As your eyes roam his handsome face, you take in the adoration and love gleaming in his pretty eyes, the ones you had found the home in you'd been searching for all your life.

"I'm in love with you, Park Jongseong."

You don't allow yourself to overthink and overanalyze your thoughts and decisions. Not this time. Not when you've never felt as sure about something as your feelings for the man you've waited for all your life.

For a moment, however, you feel tiny jolts of anxiety making their way through your skin as Jay remains completely silent.

Little do you know that this is the first time someone has ever said those words to him with such sincerity, such genuinity, such honesty.

Little do you know Jongseong can't get himself to physically react yet because his brain has yet to get past the point of replaying the sound of you saying those sweet words and actually process them.

Little do you know he has no choice but to remain reaction less, simply because he's never felt as happy as he does in this particular moment. His body has absolutely no idea what to do with all the serotonin rushing through his veins.

"My Baby", he then finally breathes and lets out a soft chuckle, the tip of his nose reddening as tears of happiness blur his vision, "my pretty girl. My everything. The love of my life."

And there they are. The words he had used to describe you to his man in a moment of panic and anxiety, this time said with nothing but love and honesty, adoration and need.

"And I'm in love with you, Y/N."

Every doubt and worry that has ever crossed your mind in regards to Park Jongseong and his feelings for you suddenly vanishes. The only thing that matters is the fact that of all ways to call you, he's decided to give you a title so powerful and heavy in meaning, you can't even think of one that could ever come close to it.

Just when you think there's no way this moment can get any more perfect than it already is, Jay suddenly reaches for your right hand, gently taking it into his own before lifting it to his lips and placing the softest kiss on your promise ring.

His eyes never once leave yours as he looks up at you through thick lashes, driving the mob of butterflies in your stomach even further into insanity with just a simple look.

"And I promise to love you until my last breath and to find you in every life time. Thank you for giving me what I've been craving all my life, my perfect angel girl. Thank you for giving my soul the home it's been looking for all this time. Thank you for the privilege to be loved by you. It will forever remain my most treasured gift and something I won't ever take for granted."

You've always loved Jongseong's way with words but as he verbally expresses his love and gratitude for you, you can't help but gasp for air, too overwhelmed by a feeling so unknown yet so familiar.

"Jay, I–", you stop mid-sentence as the tears get the best of you and the only thing to follow those two words is a soft sob of his name.

"It's okay, my sweet girl", Jong chuckles softly and pulls you closer against his chest before he places a firm kiss on your head, "I love you, too."

Not a single word is said after the as the two of you silently agree to take the sweetness of your love confessions into your drams, rather than the pain filled hours from earlier. As you bury your face even deeper in his neck, his strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist and his scent and warmth the one embrace your soul, you feel yourself slip into the best sleep you've ever had because despite everything that has happened, you've never felt as safe and protected as this.

And when your breathing becomes lighter, Jongseong allows himself to let go of all the tears he had been holding back and finally fully indulge in the feeling of relief and gratitude that you turned out to be his person, after all.

His home. His future.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: And here it is babies! I know you guys expected the worst so pls don't hate me, I gotta keep y'all on the edge to hit you even harder once we reach the actual big bang, bear with me 🤕🫣 honestly im not the proudest of this and i hope i didn't disappoint you guys, i promise i'll make up for the lack of smut soon!🫣 thank you sm for all the love and support babies, you're truly the best and i can't thank you enough. feedback is always appreciated!💞)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @xrr-s4sha @kwiwin @heelcvr @deobitifull @kpoprhia @doodlelibrary @abrazosolorcereza @certifiedmoa @sleeping-demons @heerinnie @ohmy-moonlightx @heeswif3y @hoonieluv @fakeuwus @jjaeyuns @cheybabey @ineedsomezzz @super-amberlynn @kshoshi @tinie03 @jseongies @mimikittysblog @primroselover @heebrry @jebetwo @donghyckl @07myonlylove @enhamysunshines @quemirasboboandapaya @lostwonderwall @seuomo @enhaz1 @teawithbucky @beomgyusonlywife @dammit-jjk @lhsvibez @azurez @boutyouwonu @finchyyy @ocyeanicc @jaylaxies @in-somnias-world @zerasari @spookyauthorspopmusictrash @capri-cuntz @fluerz @3amstarlight

#enhypen social au #enhypen smau #enhypen social media au #enhypen x female reader #enhypen x you #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen jay smut #enhypen smut #enhypen angst #enhypen writers #park jongseong social media au #park jongseong smau #park jongseong smut #park jongseong angst #park jongseong fluff #park jongseong x reader #park jay x reader

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fuyuu-chan · 1 month

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For You I Would Sacrifice Anything...Even If It Cost My Life

Characters: Neuvillette, Kamisato Ayato, Jing Yuan, Loucha, Sunday, Vyn (??), Sung Jin Woo, Baek Yoon-Ho, Choi Jong-In, Megumi Fushiguro, Nanami Kento, Geto Suguru, Regis Adri Floyen, Shoto Todoroki (+ some characters you think fit)

Fuyuu-chan: I thought I already posted this but apparently not so here it is ✨

Genre: Angst to Fluff

Warning: Not Proofread, no scenario of what happened before the injury, mention of bleeding and blood

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

"Why did you do that?" He said as he holds you in his arms, you're still bleeding and he was trying to make it stop until the medics arrive.

"Isn't it just the normal...thing to do?...To save someone you love away from the danger..." You trail off as you were finding it hard to talk and you were catching your breath.

"...besides I can't...just watch you get hurt in front of me..." You said as you cough up blood as you close one of your eyes.

"Hey hey don't close your eyes... well try not to" he says as he was getting more worried, panic is slowly getting to him which is rare since he's always the calm, collected person.

"You're also crazy to do that, promise me don't do it again" he said as he was tearing up a bit, guilty because this happened to you when he promised to protect you.

You chuckled a bit. "Don't blame me... This is what love do, also I can't promise anything". That's the last thing you said as you slowly closed your eyes because you can't keep it open anymore. At least before you close it you see people approaching the two of you and (his name) calling out to you but it faded as you lost your consciousness.

"(Name)! (Name)!" He called out to you as he slightly tapped your cheek and shake you while he was now crying and he was shaking, but to his dismay it didn't work you were unconscious.

"..."

You slowly open your eyes and see a ceiling but you closed your eyes immediately because of the light, you blinked a few times adjusting your eyes. After a few seconds you opened it fully and turned to your sides. Seems like you're in a hospital (or infirmary) as you turned to your left you saw him, he was sleeping.

You didn't want to disturb, so you try to sat up by yourself and get water as your throat is dry. But you should've think twice by doing so cause as you tried that your injury -stinged?? It hurts which made you make a noise and go back from your position when you wake up and by that you accidentally wake him up. So much for thinking you don't want to disturb his sleep.

He opened his eyes immediately as he heard a noise and he looks at you. Shocked but slightly relieved that it's just you.

"Oh you're awake, are you okay?" He said as he got up from the seat and goes closer to you.

"Ah I'm sorry for waking you up" you apologized as you looked away.

"No it's alright, does your body hurt?" He asked, you can tell he's worried.

"Umm yes when I tried to sat up it hurts probably my injury" you said as you looked at your bandaged injury.

He sighed. "Don't make any moves by yourself alright? Cause it will hurt, the doctors also told me that, do you need something though?"

"Yes...I want water my throat is a bit dry" you said as you looked at him.

He gave you water and he assist you. Also he bought you food since it's been two days since you were asleep so while feeding you he was giving you a lecture about what happened, you can really tell he's guilty especially he promised to protect you but you apologized to at least make him feel better. He teared up a bit while talking to you saying that you scared him to death because he thought you were gonna leave him and that he can't live without you.

It takes you a lot of time to comfort him with words to calm him and reassure him that you were fine and that you're still alive.

But to be fair no matter what happens you are ready to protect him, because you want your love ones to be safe. You know his capable on protecting himself but who can blame you? If you truly love someone you would do anything for them. Sacrifice even.

ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

Please do not copy, translate, repost to any other social media, Thank you

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jaylver · 24 days

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THE FIVE YEAR DEAL — P.JS

synopsis: having to deal with a four year long situationship was hard enough in the first place, but when your favourite situationship texted you on a random night after a year of no contact, it was a much harder scenario than imagined. what happens when he brings up that old pact you made about getting married in 5 years and you start rekindling a relationship that was lost?

pairings: non-idol!jay x afab!reader

genre: ex-situationship to friends to lovers, second chance romance, angst, romance, pining

warning(s): profanities, drinking and partying, slight violence

wc: 6.5k

a/n: after a month of not posting, here's a very very belated jay fic that was meant to be for his birthday (scream). please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

Park Jong Seong was your roman empire. There, you actually said it.

He was a thought that constantly hovered in your mind from time to time. Whether he was a ghost that lingered to haunt you or a sweet thought that remained, you couldn't tell. All you knew was that he had changed your life for the better and the worst.

A lesson you'd often tell others is to never get yourself involved in a situationship, worse if it's with your best friend. Unfortunately, you were speaking from experience which involved Jay, your ex situationship slash best friend. Look how you and him eventually turned out.

An almost four year long situationship with Jay that took an absolute toll on you had ended the year before. You agreed on no contact with him after, trying to create a peaceful life without him out of your life, yet it was entirely impossible when you shared mutual friends that reminded you of your good times with him even though he wasn't around.

You hate to admit it, but losing a person who was your best friend cut deep into your gut and heart combined. It was, at least, for the better. That was something your friends told you that you gradually recited in your head. It wasn't very effective, however. You still thought about him, quite often actually. But you supposed that was the haunting and painful part of having a relationship with someone that was almost a lover but never became one.

It was the same exact night you were thinking about him when a text appeared on the homescreen of your phone. You stared at the notification for God knows how long, debating if your lack of sleep was finally catching up to you. The contact name was unmistakable, there it was, Jay's text. Jay, your Jay?

The strength you had trying to act casual, but in reality, you were dying internally. The hold that man has on you was unimaginable.

jjong: you up?

you: ?

jjong: did you delete my number?

If only he knew, he would've probably laughed. You never deleted his number, nor did you even change his contact name. His name constantly stuck out in the list of contacts, just like the memories of him in your head.

you: no, i didn't. what i meant was why are you texting me at 2 am?

jjong: i thought of something, something we said four years ago

you: okay …?

jjong: you said if we're both still single in five years, we should get married

you: you took that seriously?

jjong: should i not have?

you: dumbass, i was tipsy

jjong: you didn't say that when i brought it up after you were sober

you: it's stupid

jjong: it's not. come on, y/n, can we please start afresh? i miss you.

He missed you?

jjong: i'm serious. can we please meet up?

you: you swear you're not going to pull something?

jjong: no?? the most i'll do is pull out an engagement ring but who knows

you: cut the crap, jay

jjong: don't act like that didn't make you giggle even the slightest

jjong: meet me downtown. the usual place we go to :)

How could he act so nonchalant when bringing up the past? The usual place that you haven't been to after cutting contact with him was something he still recalled, but to you, it was a place you avoided up until now.

It was hard to sleep when your mind was filled with thoughts of him, except this time, instead of missing him, you dreaded him and the part where you're going to meet him for the first time in a year. What was he going to say?

The wish you wished upon the lone star that night was for Jay to finally set his feelings and emotions clear. But whether it will come true or not, the truth will soon befall on you.

The day you planned to meet Jay was a cloudy one. It was likely a foreshadow, but you chose to ignore the overthinking you constantly did.

You were the first one there in the cafe, specifically sitting at that table by the corner which you and Jay usually hogged. Being there early due to mostly the anxiety, you got to calm your nerves down and prepare yourself to face Jay.

It shouldn't be hard to meet someone you already knew, but why did it feel that way? The unspoken feelings and those that were left hanging, unaddressed, was what haunted the both of you. You supposed this meet up with him would hopefully change that the slightest bit. All you hoped for was that he didn't become a stranger to you.

You failed to realise his approaching figure as you were sitting with your back facing the entrance, it was your usual spot anyway. Not to mention, his footsteps were quiet as ever, a thing about him that was unchanging.

"Y/N," you heard his voice before meeting his eyes, watching as he slipped onto the chair opposite of you, the warm aura of his never failing to provide a sense of comfort for you. "Hey,"

The change of his hair colour grabbed your attention first. The silvery colour that the light bounced on suited him well. He always wanted to experiment with his hair, and you didn't expect him to really do it. Other than that, he had the same features, same smile, same warm colour tone eyes and skin. All in all, he was the Jay you knew, the one you loved.

"Jay," you spoke his name as if it was a foreign taste on your tongue. His irises flashed an unreadable spark at the sound of his name coming out of your mouth. You fell into silence, not knowing how to start the conversation whereas he seemed rather speechless instead.

He shook himself out of it, a slight frown etched onto his lips. "Thanks for making time to see me. I know … you probably didn't want to, so I'm glad you came," his tone contradicted the way his texts sounded, the initial confidence was currently wavering.

"It's no problem," you shook your head softly, a secret hope you had kept shouting in your mind where he would fix everything.

"I didn't want to leave us at that, Y/N," his sudden confession surprised you, but it left your heart beating in both anticipation and anxiety. "The way we left things, it wasn't right. I wasn't right for doing the things I did,"

You knew what he was talking about, or at least the obvious one out of the bunch. That night at his place where you were tipsy and he was holding you in his arms, you accidentally let out the secret you've been holding in: you loved him. As expected, it obviously strained the relationship as he insisted on it being nothing serious. You were stupid for thinking he would've reciprocated it, but all he did was leave you stranded on the empty space of heartbreak alone.

"I'm sorry. I was an asshole, and I was an idiot for not realising how much you meant to me until you weren't there next to me. You carved a hole in my life and my heart was moulded for you," his gaze fell to the table, an audible draw of breath from him.

Jay glanced up to lock his eyes with yours again, the twitch of his hand that was holding itself back from reaching over to you. "I'm not a religious man, Y/N, but every night I prayed for God to lead me back to you," he swallowed thickly, "I know I fucked up, that's why we stopped … everything. I deserved it, but I really want to fix everything,"

You opened your mouth to speak just to close it after a passing second. He said exactly what you wished for him to say, but why was it so hard grasping everything before you? Was it the shock?

"I missed you, Jay," it was the truth, an angering truth that you held onto for ages. "I really did. I think about you a lot and the mistakes we made. I wish we could go back to the way we were. You're my best friend," you knew that word wasn't just what it was, it held something more than that. "And I just want you back,"

The softening of his gaze only exposed the vulnerability on your face. "Can we start again?" He said quietly, seemingly testing the waters. "As friends, and we'll go slow,"

"I'd like that," you nodded, never leaving his gaze. You didn't say it, neither did he, but you weren't putting away the chances of something more than just friends, an unspoken hope that you kept. Maybe this time, everything would turn out right.

Before you parted ways with Jay and left for home, you shared a simple conversation in front of the cafe. Just like old times, the conversation flowed naturally as if time didn't separated the two of you in the first place.

"Can I hug you?"

For the first time in many months, you felt the warmth and touch of Jay's that you missed. It was familiar, comforting, a band aid that covered the crack on your heart. This was the first step to heal that broken heart of yours. Closure. It was for the better.

The rest of your day was only filled with thoughts of him, till the point where it had you lying in bed, awake and turning, wondering about the fate of you and him. A second chance was about to make or break everything.

The next time you saw Jay again was at a party his frat brother held.

Ever since that day at the cafe, you didn't stop texting Jay. You realised at one point that you had fallen back into your old self once more. Giggling at his messages, anticipating his notifications, calling him at odd hours. All of which didn't go unnoticed by you, and you wondered if you should be horrified or nonchalant. Given that you and him were on better, speaking terms now, you brushed it off as nothing.

"Well, isn't it my favourite girl," Jay had his arms wide open the moment he approached you, that smile of his glowing from a distance away.

You smiled back, you always did anyway, letting him embrace you into his arms. "You smell like beer," you scrunch your nose up in distaste, pushing yourself off of him, but your arms around his shoulders remain.

"But I'm sober," he casted a wink at you, ignoring your eye roll as he took your arm from your shoulder and slid his fingers into your hand. "Come on, the guys are over there,"

To think about explaining this to the rest of your friends was going to be interesting to say the least. They already knew from your continuous text screaming for bloody help, but for them to witness it in person? You couldn't help but wish to cower into a corner out of embarrassment.

Heeseung was the first to raise a discreet eyebrow at you when you approached, hands intertwined with Jay, the same guy you swore you cut contacts with. That's a lie, apparently. Jake and Sunghoon seemed impassive, but you could tell from their several exchanges of glances, they thought the same as Heeseung did. However, both you and Jay were their friends, and no matter how messy it was, they were just the people stuck in between.

Jay eventually excused himself from the conversation to get more drinks for himself. You had a feeling he was about to be drunk by the end of the night no matter how he denied that. You knew his patterns through and through. Once he was out of ear shot, the boys turned to stare at you accusingly.

"Did you guys kiss?" Jake was the first to be blunt. The other two were eager to know the truth as well.

You practically jumped in your seat, as if a bullet had shot through your chest. In that way, his zero filtered question had that effect. "What? No! We agreed on being just friends,"

"For now," Heeseung chimed in.

"What?"

"You were literally holding hands with him,"

"It's platonic,"

"Considering your past with him, I think that's the last thing you can claim as platonic when it comes to Jay," Heeseung quipped back, making a valid point that you chose to ignore.

"Whatever. We're currently friends and we're not rushing into anything. We don't want to ruin it," you rubbed your arm uneasily, the thought of your past recurring saddened you.

"Then when are you going to actually get together?" Sunghoon asked, sounding rather exasperated as though he's the one in your position. At one point, you wished you could trade places.

"Ask him that," you leaned your head onto Jake's shoulder for emotional support, the question from Sunghoon was a second bullet to your heart. You had been the one sending signals from the start, but when it came to Jay reciprocating it, it was rather bleak.

"You're still hung over him? It never … went away?" Heeseung leaned his body closer, increasingly immersed into the conversation deeper.

"How could it go away when I've always been in love with him?"

The words stuck to you throughout the night. The truth and reality of you loving a man that threw everything away was a burden you carried. The egging thought of wondering if Jay even reciprocated the feelings after a year crept into your head. He didn't reach out to reconnect for nothing, did he?

Just as you've guessed, Jay was truly drunk out of his mind by the time the party was ending. Your friends were trying their best to haul Jay into his apartment while you trailed behind, wishing you were more of help than this. Jay was eventually dumped onto his bed, slurring out random sentences that made zero sense to you.

"Do you need me to drop you back? I didn't drink," Heeseung turned to you first once all of you stepped out of Jay's room.

"I'll be fine. I didn't drink much, so I think I can drive myself back. I also want to stay a while more to make sure he's fine," you took a glance back at the open bedroom door, seeing Jay still awake and turning uncomfortably.

"Will you be okay? I mean, you just started talking again, I don't want you to be uncomfortable," Heeseung placed an assuring hand on your shoulder, concern filled eyes boring into yours. You hadn't even thought about this before, the emotions you had whenever with Jay.

You smiled at your friend. "It's Jay. I will never feel that way about him,"

Heeseung reciprocated your smile, seemingly more relieved. "I know."

Your friends soon left, the loud sounds of their drunken chatters faded into the night, leaving you in a deafening silence. A deep intake of breath was what helped you regain your confidence back to finally step into Jay's room, facing a dazed looking Jay who was sitting on the edge of his bed. He seemed a tad bit more sober from the multiple cups of water he had drunk.

"Are you alright?" You took a few steps forward, holding onto the doorframe.

He glanced up, the dim light provided by his desk lamp illuminated his face, the sharpness of his features contrasted the tears he had swimming in his eyes. It was unmistakable, but it weighed you down onto the ground, not knowing if you should be taking another step.

"Jay?" You called out cautiously, swallowing thickly. A quiet sob broke the short silence which followed, the glistening tears made their way down his cheeks. It was your first time seeing him as vulnerable as this.

You got to his side, knelt on the ground, trying to search for his gaze which persisted to run away from yours. He tried hiding his face behind his hands, but you were quick to stop him, holding onto them tightly. It was then he was forced to finally meet your eyes.

"I'm sorry," you heard his weak voice utter out, his hand that you held onto gripped yours. "I'm sorry," he whispered tearfully.

It was your first time witnessing him this broken, crying nonstop and leaving his emotions out on display. For the first time in ages, you couldn't properly read him like you've always done. Was it your fault for making him feel this way? Was there nothing but pain in this so-called relationship you and him shared?

"I miss you," it was a confession, a painful sounding confession that he's held onto for a long time, the look in his eyes told you he meant it, but there was something else that he had: grief. "I'm sorry,"

You didn't know how long it was that you stared at him for, the thoughts in your mind had been long gone, the shell of your body remained. His words and the emotions behind them were heavier than you anticipated, it hit you hard and rough. You sighed, lowering your head for a second. "You should get some sleep, Jay. It's late and you're buzzed. I'll talk to you in the morning,"

Jay was silent. You could tell there was a hint of disappointment from him that you wished you weren't the cause of it. You got up to your feet, staring at the top of his head as he fought to avoid your eyes. So be it. As you turned to leave, you felt a hand around your wrist, pulling you to a stop.

"Will you stay?"

You've heard this one too many times. Yet, you were always a victim to it. Unlike most times, you knew this was different, letting your heart guide you to him instead of your head. It might've been foolish, but you were willing to be a fool that was persistently in love just for him.

"I'll stay."

That night, you barely slept as he laid in your lap, sound asleep. Your fingers traced the sharpness of his features, smoothing over the softness of them. You wondered to yourself whether reconnecting was a good idea in the first place if this odd feeling of yours kept cutting deep into your heart every time you're with Jay.

You would never wish to leave him once more, but did he feel the same as you do? Or will he be the first to let you go again?

Maybe, just this once, you'd have to be the first to let go, even if it's a small step, it was something better than nothing.

With one last apologetic look at Jay, you closed his bedroom door and left his home with a heavier heart than usual. By the time morning comes, you hoped both yours and his memories from the night before would be a fever dream. Something so intimate and vulnerable, how were you to forget quickly? Even as you drifted off to sleep in your bed, you could still remember the tears on Jay's face, it being the last thing you remember before waking up to your doorbell ringing.

It was as if your thoughts had manifested Jay to show up at your doorstep. He wasn't a figment of your imagination, but actual flesh and bones. No matter how you rubbed your eyes trying to get yourself to be more awake, he wasn't disappearing away from view. He was real.

"Can we talk?"

Those three words immediately brought dread for you. Jay's face was impassive, but it was evident that he was tired, restless. You nodded, moving away to let him in. It was easy for you to let him in, whether it was your home or your heart, you've always kept a space for him.

"What is it that you wanted to talk about?" You stepped closer to him, seeing as he hadn't taken a seat and feeling something odd shift in the air.

"Us, Y/N, us," Jay breathed out, strained and hoarse, as if saying that word had pained him deeply. "I don't like this, I hate it. The 'us' that we are now,"

"What?"

"We can't keep continuing on like this. We can't keep pretending everything's fine when it's not,"

It was too early for this, too early for you to be feeling burning internal rage. "Are you kidding? So what are you going to do? Leave me alone again? Go no contact with me again just because you don't want to face me again?"

"No!" Jay took a step closer to you, eyes blazing with equal fiery as yours. "I'm not ending things again, never. I can't lose you this time," his voice wavered, his hand reaching for yours and you let him hold your hand. Was that your first mistake? "I'm in love with you,"

You wished those words hadn't left his lips. For ages, you thought him confessing his true feelings would've fixed things, fixed you and him both, but at that moment, you realised it wasn't that easy, the cracks on your heart remained.

"I know when you look at me, you see everything that went wrong, but when I look at you, I see the person I'm in love with," every word pierced your heart deeper, the desperation in his voice was clear, a saddening tragedy was imminent.

"You don't get to do this," you whispered, backing away from him and freeing your hand from his hold. The hurt that flashed across his eyes didn't go unnoticed by you. "You don't get to tell me you're in love with me out of nowhere after we stop talking. It's not fair,"

"Am I … too late?" His voice was quiet, in the midst of the hurt was a pinch of hope.

"You're not," you didn't want to lie, you knew your feelings were the same and unchanged, but you just weren't ready to cave in and accept his feelings that fast. It wasn't fair. "Time. That's what we need to start afresh,"

Jay nodded, jaw clenched, face stoic. There was no denying that he was hurt, he didn't hide it anyway. "I'll make it right. I'll fix us."

Was it possible to mend everything?

Attending a party to get drunk was probably the worst idea you had in a while.

The thoughts of you and Jay haunted you like a sickening plague, the conversation you had with him was constantly eating you up from the inside. You were pushing him away, you knew so, you were becoming like him in some ways. How ironic it was.

That was why the moment Julie invited you to her boyfriend's house party, you knew you had to have some type of getaway, though it wasn't the most ideal. The only problem you didn't appreciate her not telling you earlier was the person you wanted to avoid most was standing with the rest of your friends in a corner playing pool.

"Look, I didn't know they were coming," Julie defended herself, leaning her body close to your side. "What's up with you and Jay anyway?"

"It's complicated,"

Julie sighed, shaking her head. "Of course it is, but how blind and dumb could you both be?"

"Hey!"

"It's obvious you like him and he likes you, why can't you guys just—I don't know—get together?"

"It's not that easy, I wish it was. I think we're both hurt, or I'm the coward this time. We … talked, he finally said he loves me, but I can't accept it just yet,"

"Why not?"

"I gave my heart to him, Julie. For years I willingly gave my heart to a man that constantly blocked me from his heart, which was why we ended things. Only then he realised his true feelings and right now he's asking for my heart back. I just don't think it's fair," your eyes dropped to the carpeted ground, gripping onto your plastic cup tightly.

"Then would you rather regret it?"

"Huh?"

"Would you regret after pushing him away and never becoming something you've always wished to be? Constantly think about the what-ifs? I know I'm not in the right to say anything since I'm not you, but the only thing I wish to say is to go with your heart," she placed a hand on your shoulder. "If your heart yearns for him, it'll always stay that way."

Why couldn't you stop your heart from yearning for Jay? It was as if Julie had read you like a book, even in those times where you and him stopped contacting one another, you never once forgot about him. It was true, your heart was yearning for him.

Meeting new people that were introduced by Julie and her boyfriend momentarily took your mind off Jay. Their friends were people you probably wouldn't meet again, so you didn't mind when you were left alone with one of them.

"You come by here often?" Juyeon, one of the guys, was by your side like a leech instead of being a good company. His presence was screaming red blaring signals to you.

"Not much," you chuckled awkwardly, wondering when Julie would return with the rest of her friends.

"Can I take you out some time?" Wow, he sure knew how to cut to the chase.

"What?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to come by to my place after this?"

Oh, this was your sign to run, wasn't it? "I—well, I have someone to meet—"

"Come on, give me a chance—" he grabbed onto your hand right before you could successfully leave, this was when you remind yourself never to get involved with frat boys.

"Sorry—" you didn't have the chance to finish your sentence when your hand was forcefully ripped away from his hold, another familiar feeling of someone's hand on yours instead. You turned just in time to see Jay standing beside you, visibly fuming.

"Leave her alone, man," he placed himself in front of you, shielding you away from Juyeon.

"Look, I'm just trying to invite her over. You know what, she's nothing special anyway—" the sound of Jay's fist clashing into Jueyon's jaw stopped him from continuing on. You were too shocked to comprehend everything happening before you, even as Jay lunged onto the man, you could do nothing but stare.

"Jay!" The shouts of his name clicked in your mind, breaking you out of your shell-shocked state. Every one of your friends rushed to get Jay off of Juyeon who ended up scrambling away, leaving a crowd of onlookers.

He was hesitant to turn around and look at you, you could tell so from his stiff shoulders, but you stayed hoping to see his face. You reached your hand out shakily to touch his shoulder, yet, before you could actually do so, he turned around, eyes avoiding to meet yours.

"Jay—"

There he went brushing past you, not a single word spoken from him. The slamming of the front door snapped you out of the hurtful daze you were in to follow him out of the house. He was standing on the pavement, unmoving. You approached him carefully, scared and paranoid of executing a wrong move.

"Jay," you walked to stand before him, feeling a tinge of hurt when he took a step back away from you. "Jay," you repeated his name, this time with a bit more desperation. "Why did you do that?" There was no answer, only a sullen silence which blurred into the night.

You shifted your attention to his fist, the forming of a bruise and some cracked skin decorated the fist he used to punch Juyeon. Your hand absentmindedly reached for his. "You're hurt," you were about to touch his hand when he pulled away, avoiding your hold, a look of hurt flashed across your features, but you tried to hide it.

"I can't let him talk to you like that," he whispered, looking anywhere but you. You wished to grab his shoulder and forcefully make him look at you.

"Jay, it's okay,"

"It's not!" He snapped, finally having the nerves to meet your eyes. His change of tone shocked you, your feet took a step back unknowingly. "It's not okay. Not when I feel like I'm going insane thinking you're going to get yourself in danger,"

"I'm sorry—"

"Don't," Jay heaved a breath in, voice shaking slightly. "I should be the one to say sorry for acting this way. I'm sorry,"

"Jay—"

"I'll see you around. Get home safe." You couldn't even reach him and he was already gone, leaving into the night. There was a twisting feeling in your heart that was unbearable. Was this the end of it all?

You felt even worse walking back into the house when the rest of your friends asked you about Jay and his whereabouts. It was awkward staying there after what went down, so you ended up going back home too, throwing yourself in bed to forget everything that had happened.

Jay, the fight, Juyeon, you wished those three things never happened that night. You wished you and Jay never happened at all.

"You're just going to leave it at that?"

A bottle of alcohol late at night with the company of your friends without Jay was what you needed after a rollercoaster of a events. The amount of shots you've taken wasn't enough to blur the image of Jay's tear stained cheek or the hurt in his eyes when he told you he loved you, not even the time he avoided your touch. You wondered if love was meant to be this painful. If it was, why were you so adamant on it?

"I … don't know," you set the glass down, chewing the insides of your cheek. "It'll be too cliche and stupid to say it's complicated, right? I think I'm just hurting him. I still love him, but I can't let myself to do so. It's weird, him reconnecting after a year and suddenly telling me he's in love with me out of the blue. What does all that mean?"

Sunghoon let out a hiss from the shot he took in one go, then turned to you. "Jay might be a dumbass for realising his faults and feelings a little too late, but there's one thing I'm sure about him, and that is how much he cares for you and loves you. I remember after you guys cut contact, he had trouble sleeping for months. He said the thought of you leaving haunted him,"

"I know it's unfair to you how he's only realised his true feelings now," Heeseung interjected, pouring another round into your glass. "But I think you're just hurting yourself more by pushing him away, just like how he did to you. You love him, don't you? Don't repeat the same mistakes, you've wasted a whole year together, don't waste a lifetime regretting what could've been."

Two stubborn people walking in constant circles, that was you and Jay. Too scared to face your feelings, hurting not only the other but also yourself.

Being absolutely emotional and pissed drunk only resulted in you crying your eyes out, which made your friends worried out of their minds till the point where they had to call the person who would know how to comfort you. However, they failed to realise in time that the same person was the cause of your tears.

"Where is she?" You heard his voice from a mile away, it was something you'd never forget. The others were slowly leaving your apartment after hoisting you to your bedroom. The process of which involved you sobbing and your drunk friends trying not to drop you.

The thudding sound of footsteps filled the silence in your home. It stopped right at the doorstep to your bedroom, the hesitation was evident when he entered after several beats. You laid on your side, facing away from him. His approaching figure made your heart race, you felt the bed dip beneath you upon him taking a seat next to you.

"You're awake, aren't you?"

You glanced up at him, the dimness of your room casted a shadow across his face, but he was still the most beautiful person you've seen. You slowly sat up, trying to move your body a distance away from him to make everything less surreal. The silence in the room was overwhelming, neither of you knew what to say first.

"Do you hate me?"

"What?"

"I was the first to let go this time," you chuckled dryly, doing everything but meeting his eyes, maybe you were the coward all along.

Jay let out a breath of disbelief, shaking his head. "How could I ever hate you?" It was a question, it was his truth, his dying truth that he held onto with all his heart. He glanced down, staring at his hands, the bruises from the hard punches thrown were healing. "I shouldn't have lashed out on you that night. It wasn't right for me to do so,"

In the midst of your hazy mind, your brain functioned well enough to recollect the memories he mentioned. Oh, that night, that incident. "It's alright, I know you didn't mean it, you were trying to look out for me, I get it," you averted your gaze, letting yourself smile a little to lessen the tension. "I think I was just scared,"

"Of what?"

"Of you leaving again,"

Jay's gaze softened in the darkness, his hand reaching out to hold yours and it was one of those times that you let him do so knowing how your heart felt like exploding. "I'm never leaving, nor do I hate you. I hate myself for pushing you away, for realising everything too late, for hurting you," he took a deep, yet shaky breath, "If anything, I love you,"

The drowsiness you were experiencing somehow disappeared in a blink of an eye, your mind blank, all you could hear in the back of your mind was those three words which Jay uttered. The air around you and him had shifted, the angry tension dissipated.

You felt his hold on your hand tightening, just the same as your heart tightening at the sight of Jay's heartbroken smile. "I love you," it was a confession, something ever so freeing to finally be able to say to him knowing your true feelings were reciprocated. "I'm sorry for running away,"

Jay moved closer, his face now barely a few inches away. Everything was a blur, how his other hand travelled to cup your cheeks, his breath practically fanning your lips. "I should be the one to say sorry," those were his last words before pressing his lips on yours.

It wasn't your first time kissing him, but something about the kiss was unlike the times you've experienced. Despite all those playful, lighthearted kisses you shared with Jay, you knew this was different. Jay was pouring his endless unspoken apologies and devotion, a mix of relief, sadness, longing were hidden behind it.

Even as you pulled away, you could feel the palpable longing between you and him. It was as if years of silent desperation, confusion and pining had melted into one, finally being addressed at that moment. Neither of you spoke a single word, just holding each other close, admiring one another. It was intimate, something you couldn't recreate with someone else.

"I will never leave you," he whispered, his thumb stroking your cheek reassuringly. "You're a piece of me and my heart, you make me whole. I would be a fool to ever let you go again,"

You stared at him as if he was your entire universe, the effect of his every word carved a space into your heart. Eyes closing momentarily, you let yourself melt into his touch, smiling softly. "I trust you."

That was all Jay needed to hear before a small smile spread across his face. You could hear it in silence, see the look on his face and that spark he has in his brown irises, you knew what it was, he was in love.

That night, he stayed with you until morning came. You held onto one another tightly, as though scared that it was the last day to be together. Little words were exchanged, but you were content by him holding you close.

For the first time in a while, you were able to fall asleep with no lingering thoughts, and for the first time ever, he was yours, and you were his.

Telling your friends you and Jay were finally together was a rollercoaster of emotions that you'd never forget.

It has been months since you and your best friend officially got together. The reactions from people around you were nothing but relief and support after knowing how much hell you two went through. For once, you actually believed in the 'forever' that was promised.

You didn't question the sound of keys unlocking your front door. It has become a habit for Jay to stop by your place every evening, almost just like before and it felt as if everything was falling back into place. Every visit of his came with something he prepared to surprise you, which was why his cheeky grin gave it away.

He pressed a kiss on the top of your head before joining you on the sofa, the playful smile of his never once left. "I have a surprise,"

"Chocolate cake?"

"Okay, something not edible,"

"What is it?" You couldn't help smiling too, nudging your boyfriend in an attempt to get him to reveal his so-called surprise.

"Close your eyes,"

"Are you serious?"

"I'm serious. Come on, close them!" He was giggling, egging you on to go along with whatever he has up his sleeves. "Now, give me your hand," You complied. Not long after, you felt something cold and small making contact with the skin of your palm. "Open your eyes,"

You were first met with Jay's anticipating gaze, then you looked down, seeing a ring sitting on the palm of your hand. "A ring?" You were surprised, picking it up to look at it closely. It was beautiful, simple yet so intricate in detail, as if it was customised for you.

"Don't worry, it's not an engagement ring, it's a promise ring. I know we did make a five year deal, but we're still taking it slow," he picked the ring from your hold and gently took your hand, slotting the ring into your ring finger. "Maybe in another five years time, I'll actually get to fulfil our pact and replace this with an engagement ring,"

This was the closest you've felt your heart exploding. Heat rushed to your face, heart beating nonstop, you were suddenly the person who's first developed a crush for Jay all over again. "Since when did you become so cheesy," you scoffed, a small smile rested on your lips.

"Only for you, duh," it wasn't a lie whatsoever, Jay never hid himself when it came to you. "Let's call some takeout and stay in,"

"Are you staying over tonight?"

"Only if your bed is open to let me in," he made himself comfortable next to you, throwing his arms around you to pull you closer to his side.

"You know it always is."

Jay didn't say anything, but his smile was enough of a response. No matter if it's your bed, house or heart, you've always reserved a spot specially for him. He made up a part of you just the same as you were with him. He was your home and safe space. You were glad you made that stupid pact on one drunken night that led him back to you.

☆ permanent taglist (open):

@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog @aishigrey @shinrjj @kgneptun @ilovegyuvin @hyunniesvlog @eleanorheartschishiya @nanabbg @letwiiparkjay @teddywonss @classicroyalty @run2x @yannnnaj @jakesfurry @gyuwooboozle @nylajp24 @usedto-me @vernonburger @simjyunnie @haerasblog @rikizm @jakevascaino @sunpov @ms-no1kpopstan @jiawji @rikizm @cheerrxy @kimsunoops @heelariously @thesassy-mia @shawnyle @cloud-lyy @aposjsj

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nyssaswitch · 6 months

Text

Pool Party with the Barca Boys

Synopsis:

Y/N is Gavi’s sister.

A pool party is being held at Gavi’s house with Frenkie de Jong, João Cancelo, Marc Guiu, Héctor Fort and Aron Yaakobishvili in attendance.

Y/N is living it up, flirting with all of the guys (and who could blame her, her brother’s teammates were HOT).

But deep down, she has a sweet spot for Héctor.

Chapter 1

Y/N’s POV

Today was the day that Y/N had been looking forward to for weeks, today Gavi’s teammates would all meet up at his place for the long-awaited pool party.

You were giddy with excitement, since you knew that Héctor Fort would be coming too.

Ever since you first laid eyes on him when accompanying Gavi during football practice, you hadn’t been able to get him out of your head.

You had a thing for football players, fuckboys and Mediterranean men and Héctor was the perfect embodiment of all three.

You knew that this was technically a pool party, but you wanted to look your best for Héctor and so you’d spent four hours painstakingly doing your hair and makeup before the guys arrived.

Since you were gonna be “swimming” and it was 25C outside, you’d put your hair up in a stylish messy bun and had kept your makeup minimal.

As for your outfit, you’d done your best to pick out the skimpiest bikini that you owned, if that wouldn’t catch his attention, you don’t know what would.

Even you had to admit that the “bikini” was quite revealing and so, you’d decided to wear a coverup over it (decent as you were). Though you were well aware that the coverup was see through and left plenty of cleavage exposed.

Worst case scenario, Héctor wouldn’t be interested in you and you’d just hook up with one of Gavi’s other friends instead.

After having locked yourself in Gavi’s bathroom for the past four hours, you entered the living room and saw Gavi sitting on the couch.

He gave you a once over as he frowned and said “you know it’s a pool party right? We’re gonna be swimming”.

“Oh I know, you said, with a smile”. “Who are you trying to impress?” asked Gavi. “No one” you squeaked, fuck, was it that obvious? You thought to yourself.

“And what in god's name are you wearing? Could you possibly have put on anything skimpier?” asked Gavi.

“You worry too much Gavi, please just take a chill pill”. “Fine”, he said, ”just know that I”ll be watching you closely and if any of the guys so much as looks in your direction, I'll kill them”. “I don’t need your protection Gavi”. “Trust me you do”, he said.

At that moment the bell rang. Saved by the bell, how cliche, you thought.

You jumped up and said “I'll get it”, as Gavi looked at you and rolled his eyes, you skipped to the front door.

In front of the door stood Frenkie, Pedri and João Cancelo.

“Hi guys, are y'all ready to party?” you asked, as you gave each of them a hug.

“As ready as I'll ever be”, said Frenkie.

“It’s nice to see you again” said Pedri.

“Looking good” said João Cancelo. “You too”, you chirped and blushed.

“Where are the others?”, you asked Frenkie.

“Marc, Héctor and Áron Yaakobishvili will be arriving in 15 minutes, Marc just texted me”, said Frenkie.

“Okey-dokey, can’t wait to get the party started”, you said. “Come on in”.

The three boys walked in and greeted Gavi.

“Woah, Gavi, you’re so lucky to have someone like that as your sister”, Frenkie said.

Pedri nodded in agreement, while João said “poeh”.

“You guys are disgusting” said Gavi, you do realise that that’s my sister, you’re talking about?

“Oh we’re well aware”, said Frenkie while grinning.

Gavi objectively knew that his sister was good looking, ever since Y/N had been in middle school, guys had been throwing themselves at her and his teammates were no different.

“Okay, can we please stop talking about my sister?” , said Gavi.

“Sorry”, João said. “But can you really blame us?”

At that moment the bell rang for the second time, causing the boys to stop bickering.

“I'll get it”, you said in a cheery voice.

You opened the door and your face lit up when you finally saw Héctor, for a moment there, you were afraid that he wouldn’t show.

“We’ve come bearing gifts”, said Marc Guiu.

“We brought plenty of booze” said Áron Yaakobishvili, lifting a bottle.

“And snacks”, said Héctor Fort, holding a platter with delicious looking mini pizzas.

He gave you the platter and as he did, your hands briefly touched, sending an electric shock through your whole body.

You wondered if Héctor felt it too.

They brushed past you as you took the tray with pizzas and placed them in the fridge.

You were still reeling from Héctor’s touch, when you made your way to the outside pool.

The pool was large and deep enough to to be making somersaults in, which is why the guys loved Gavi’s pool.

Part of the fun was seeing the guys rough housing and in swim shorts no less.

The boys had started to play football by the pool, with Áron acting as goalkeeper and the rest of the guys taking turns trying to shoot the ball in the goal.

Áron however, was giving them a tough time, demonstrating how he was shaping up to be a promising future goalkeeper for Barcelona’s first team.

Áron loved how hard the other guys were trying and started taunting Héctor once it was his turn saying “you know the ball’s supposed to land in the goal, not next to it”.

“Just you wait” said Héctor. “Yeah, we”ll show you”, said Marc.

“Eventually”, Áron retorted.

After having played three more rounds, without any of the guys managing to score, Áron said “let’s make this more interesting, the first one to score will get 7 minutes in heaven with Y/N, if Y/N is up for it, that is”.

“Y/N, how does that sound?”

“Hmmm, sorry, what were you saying?”, you hadn’t been paying attention to what Áron was saying, too wrapped up in the ogling of all the football boys and since you were basically surrounded by eye candy, you had to divide your team between each of the 6 boys milling about.

“Well, since none of these guys have managed to score, I came up with a little proposal, the first person to score will get 7 minutes in heaven with you, are you up for it?”

5 faces were staring at you expectantly, eagerly awaiting your response.

“Y/N you don’t have to agree to anything that makes you uncomfortable”, said Gavi protectively.

“So Y/N, what will it be?” Asked Frenkie with twinkling eyes.

Your breath hitched and your heart started beating a little faster, oh how you’d wished for a moment like this to occur. For Héctor’s arms to finally wrap around you and feel his lips on yours.

“Sure, I’m in,” you said coolly, while looking straight at Gavi, who just shook his head disapprovingly.

“Alright then, time to step up our game lads”, said João.

The atmosphere by the pool had changed, the guys, who’d started playing in a rowdy and playful manner had all turned quiet and pensive, pulling out all the stops and trying their hardest to make that goal.

After, what had seemed an eternity, you heard someone shout “GOAL!”.

You looked up to see Marc pumping his fist into the air and looking smug at the other guys.

“Have fun man”, Pedri said.

“Yeah, I’m definitely jealous”, said Frenkie.

Marc walked up to you, gently grabbed your hand, looked into your eyes and asked “are you coming with me?”.

Shit, you thought, you’d hoped that Héctor was gonna be the one to take you home, but it’s not like you could just blurt out “actually, I’d prefer to go with Héctor”.

So you weakly nodded and followed Marc inside the house, as the guys started cheering behind you.

“Y/N, where’s the guest bedroom?" asked Marc.

You took his hand and silently led him to the guest bedroom, your thoughts a million miles away.

Marc sat down on the bed holding your hand, rubbing his thumb over the backside of your hand.

Listen Y/N, I know it might seem like this came out of the blue, but I’ve had a crush on you for the longest time, ever since I first saw you.

You’re gorgeous and you’d make me the happiest guy alive, if you’d let me make you mine right now.

Your breath choked, this wasn’t how you’d imagined the pool party would go, but Marc, was very attractive as well and how could you say no to him, while he was looking at you with so much yearning.

He leaned in and cupped your face with his right hand, planting a soft kiss on your mouth.

As soon as his lips found yours, you carefully reciprocated.

While continuing to make out, you climbed on top of him, rocking your hips back and forth.

Marc’s breath hitched, he let out a sigh and said “baby please let me see all of you”.

You responded by unclasping your bikini top and letting it fall to the floor.

Marc grasped your breasts and slowly started massaging them, causing you to let out a whimper.

Marc chuckled, “you like that huh baby”.

You groaned “oh yes Marc, please don’t stop”. You continued to grind your core against his crotch, feeling him grow hard.

“Hmmm, baby, please stop, you’re turning me on so much and I’d rather cum inside of you” said Marc.

You lay down on your back and pulled your bikini bottoms to the side, Marc pushed one finger inside of you and whimpered “hmm, you’re so wet for me baby”.

He continued fingering you and just as you were about to come undone, he slid his fingers out of you and placed a kiss on top of your forehead.

“Sssh, baby, I know I know”, he said as you whined in displeasure, your orgasm having been so close.

Marc slid into you, filling you up wholly and stretching you out.

You let out a gasp of pleasure as he slid into you, Marc doing the same.

Marc started pumping into you harder and harder, you felt yourself getting close to climax and yelped “don’t stop”.

Marc continued to pump into you at the same pace, while you reached your climax and screamed out “oh Héctor��.

You could feel Marc filling you up, while he looked at you with hurt in his eyes.

“I, I’m so sorry, you said hastily”.

“No don’t”, said Marc, “I guess that explains everything”.

“Explains what?” You asked him.

Why you seemed so quiet and hesitant when I finally made that goal and why your first reaction was to look at Héctor.

“I”-

“You don’t have to explain yourself Y/N, I guess I know why you agreed to the game in the first place”.

Marc stalked off, with hunched shoulders, leaving you in the bed looking bewildered.

#hector fort #hectorfortfanfic #hectorfortsmut #marc guiu #marc guiu fanfic #Marc guiu smut #aron #Aron Yaakobishvili #Aron Yaakobishvili fanfic #Gavi fanfic #gavi smut #pedri fanfic #pedri smut #frenkiedejong fanfic #joaocancelofanfic #fcbarcelonafanfic

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anticapitalistclown · 8 months

Note

clownieee can I request reader the morning after with Jake, Gun, Vin and Taesoo? I just love the big boys over there 🥴🤤

who doesn't love a big boy?

The morning after, scenarios

Featuring: Jake, Gun, Vin Jin and Ma Taesoo

warnings: it's fluff but there's mentions of sex, fem reader

Jake Kim

You woke up snuggled on your bed, next to you, Jake. His head resting on your naked chest, his arms around your waist. You trailed your fingers around his hair making him grunt and hug you tighter, you took a look at his naked back, now decorated with a few scratches from last night, you caressed them getting a hiss from him "maybe I went a bit rougher last night, sorry" you apologized to him even tho Jake was the one that really went rough last night, he got more unhinged from the pleasure causing you to hold him, claw at him, and he was well aware of that "mhm, it's fine, don't apologize, scratch, claw at me always all you want babe" he opened his eyes and looked at you with a sleepy pout, you kissed his lips making Jake smile "more" you demanded and he gave you tiny and multiple pecks, his hands holding your hips with so much care, unlike last night, still hurting from his grip.

Jake snuggled on your embrace "let's stay in bed, like this for bit more please".

Jong Gun

You woke up, still a bit sore from last night, your face resting on Gun's shoulder, your hand roaming his chest, tracing his scars. Gun seemed still asleep, a calm expression on his face, you reached with your hand his cheek your thumb caressing it "what are you doing?" you jolted at his sudden voice "didn't know you were awake" Gun still had his eyes closed, how handsome you thought "you're so ugly" you said, Gun left a chuckle and slapped your ass cheek, already sore from last night, making you gasp "It hurts!" you complied and punched his chest "still acting like a brat like last night, aren't you? should I treat you like one?" you pouted and laid on his chest "m'not, last night I did a good job, you told me, so you have to spoil me all I want" he chuckled and kissed your forehead, his arms around you, holding you "you're right".

Vin Jin

You woke up at the sound of music coming from behind you, you snuggled between Vin's arms and opened your eyes, he was watching tiktok. You hugged his waist and tangled his leg between yours, your cheek brushing his "mornin" he said and kissed your cheek "morning" you replied.

You switched, having your back against his chest, being the little spoon for him, watching the media with him. His right hand holding up the phone for you both to watch and his left hand roaming your body up and down, a gentle touch that warmed your naked body "I love you" you said lazily "love you too" he replied.

Ma Taesoo

The bed was suddenly cold, you reached his side with your arm but couldn't feel Taesoo on it. You grunted and sat on bed, still feeling the pain on your hips "Tae?" you heard footsteps rushing towards you, he appeared with two mugs of coffee "morning pretty" you pouted at him and patted the spot next to you "bed's cold" he smiled and went back to bed again, placing your mug on your nightstand, you snuggled between his arms feeling warm in his embrace, he kissed your crown "more" you whined and he chuckled "spoiled" he gave kisses around your face, you hugged him tight feeling him reciprocate by holding you closer, his strong arms on your back, warming you again.

#lookism #jake kim #kim gimyung #jin hobin #vin jin #park jong gun #gun park #jong gun #park gun #ma taesoo #taesoo ma #lookism x reader

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stormdragon23 · 3 months

Text

Choi Jong-In's Age

Because I don't care what the game says

So based on this one line, there are multiple scenarios (This is based on South Korea's passport system):

If Jong-In got his passport at 18, based on the validity period of 10 years, he could be 28 (This is the youngest age he could technically be) 38 is not an option here-

If he got his passport at 14, meaning the validity period would be 5 years for people under 18, and then renewed his passport at 19, he could be 29 when renewing it again after 10 years

If he got his passport at 17, with the same validity period of 5 years, and renewed it 22, he could now be 32

Therefore, the maximum age and the age I will consider canon for me will be 32.

#solo leveling #choi jongin #choi jong in #baek yoonho is 34 to me for reference #the way he acts is a little young for 28 so i think 32 is more reasonable #HE'S NOT 38-

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mister-ious · 8 months

Text

YouTuber!Ghost participating in YouTuber collabs omfg..

There was a million requests for collabs in his comments—many others in videos—since there was no email address linked to the YouTube account. It was mainly fitness influencers that have asked for Ghost to appear in their videos and vice versa. It was kind of funny actually, just seeing comments in an email format under his videos asking for collabs, with thousands of likes from their and his fans.

Ghost was hesitant at first. He didn't know these people; they were complete strangers that just wanna monetise his appearance in their channels. Price and a couple of higher ups that monitored the channel were indifferent about it, they would allow collabs if Ghost wanted to—of course with very strict rules.

There was an influencer that had wanted to make the usual 'I tried military training' with Ghost. Another wanted a fitness competition, something having to do with an obstacle course. Others wanted to make a video to review and go through Ghost's workout routine and diet to find out how he stays so big.

Ghost was coaxed to agree to the invitations by 141. I don't exactly know how, but to make this scenario work let's say they—Price—bribed him with a really nice room at the barracks with a private shower room and offered to do most of his paperwork, or they were just really good at talking him into it.

Sooo... Ghost agreed to do the workout review one with a YouTuber (imagine it was someone like Kim Jong Kook where he'd basically review Ghost's workouts and help him with form and even improve the routine). Ghost was invited to their gym. It's funny to imagine how sketchy the other YouTuber would think of his arrival; Ghost would come with like two other big military people that would make the YouTuber sign papers—it was basically a paper that makes them send the video over to the military incase there was anything that needed to be cut out.

Their eyes widen, gasping, "Wow. You are so much bigger in real life... uhm, sir...?" "Ghost." He grunts from the black surgical mask plastered on his face. His furrowed eyebrows giving himself a stern countenance. Very intimidating but he reaches his hand out for a handshake. "You'll need to talk to my people first before we start." Ghost points behind him; two more big hunks of muscle. "Christ." They whisper.

Ghost in these collabs would wear an all black attire. Hoodie, with a fitted shirt under, and sweats. Sometimes he'd deck out a beanie or baseball hat. However, he wouldn't wear his skull balaclava—or any balaclava for that matter—he'd just wear a surgical mask with some shades. Yes, the fans would go absolutely ballistic for this, making edits and thirst posts of that tiny scar that would pop out of his mask/shades for like five seconds in a video.

I didn't get to mention this but yes they'd also go insane for his full sleeve of tats. Yes, velocity edits on his arms flexing when doing anything. Yes, thirst posts of when they see his eyes crinkle from making a facial expression that they couldn't make of in his videos. Yes, making sound bites of the "I like my women how I like my coffee" joke—anything that he said that they thought was sexy. And yes, Brittany TikTokers making videos about him.

Anyways, back to the collab.

Ghost would definitely let some curse words slip, some bleeped out and some are kept in. He'll be talking about stories from his earlier days in the military, grumbling about how fucking bleeping punishing it was. Also, his voice would still be obscured post editing.

After they'd made their greetings outside, walking into the underground gym, they ask, "Was it hard in the military, Ghost?" "'Course it fucking [bleep] was. That's a stupid question." Ghost curtly replies, slouching his shoulders to fit in the stair case as he muttered something about it being too small. "I don't even know how I survived some of the training—there were too many arseholes for sergeants when I was still new. The real missions were even worse." He goes on further, "Can't tell you shit about all of it on video though. Maybe I'll tell you about them later."

When both of them finally start the workouts and reps, the questions about Ghost's routine and diet finally come.

"How did you get so big? Natty too." "I participated in mandatory training everyday, also went to the gym often. I also ate a lot of protein bars at base, albeit tasting horrible."

Ghost would also be asked to show off his muscle. I think this part would be what he anticipated the most, to flaunt his herculean body, the amount of discipline that it took to look and be this strong. He'd take off the hoodie and roll up the already short sleeves of the shirt underneath, tensing his muscles.

"Good god, dude, you can see his lats and everything under his shirt." They comment, pointing their finger as Ghost rowed one of the machines. "Do you mind if I touch you?" They request, Ghost lets out a grunt of approval as they moved their hands to his back muscles, squeezing the tautness, exclaiming that "He's tough as a brick!"

They'd also ask him for workout/gym advice for the people at home watching, but I don't think he'd have the most useful tips for us. He'd talk about the usual gym tips, but he can't really go into more detail and elaborate since he's a soldier, and none of his actual good tips would be helpful for (most of) the people watching him.

"Also, if you guys are wondering, he sounds exactly like you think he would." They wink to the camera. "S'that supposed to mean?"

Ghost would further talk about his routine, how many sets he does and how many reps there are.; what his favourite workout was; when his favourite time to workout was; if he liked working out with other people.

I workout everyday. I don't have designated days for the different parts of my body; I do workouts that I think I haven't done in a while. I like to do calisthenics, but I also lift weights and use machines. I prefer working out early in the morning, after waking up and before eating breakfast. I also prefer to workout alone but I sometimes can't help some of... my acquaintances from joining me. Er, if I had to choose, I'd pick brutal bench as my favourite workout. It took quite a while for me to learn and properly do.

Then he'd demonstrate what a brutal bench was and his shirt would 'accidentally' ride up his torso showing off his abs. Though they weren't defined, you could still tell that he trained them and that they're strong. He'd mention that he did (still does probably) a whole lot of them in his earlier days in the military, then shows off his calloused palms to the camera.

Lastly, lower body workouts. I can just imagine how mouthwatering Ghost would look in a hip abduction/adduction machine: His hands gripping the seat while he looked up, his thighs pushing in on the steel leather padded squares, each set to 80 kilos (~176lbs), holding in his groans.

really abrupt and weird ending to this one i know but what can i do.

Next video he'd appear on would be him demonstrating and putting an influencer through the training of the special forces. I think some of 141 might appear if they were coincidentally at base for the recording.

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #cod mw x reader #cod mw2 #ghost x reader #cod simon riley #ghost call of duty #cod x reader #ghost cod #ghost riley x reader

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wintersbitterfly · 1 year

Text

in her eyes | episode three

genre: fluff and angst

pairing: sana x female reader

scenario: highschool!au

content warnings: reader is a teen mom, slight harassment, gaslighting

the table was silent as you and dae-jong continue to look at each other, except yours were just filled with anger at this point than fear from what you had felt earlier.

“do you mind if I talk to you,” he pauses as he looks at sana, mina, dahyun, and momo then back at you, “alone?”

“I have nothing to talk to you about.” you sternly say.

“oh, but I think you do.” he says with a chuckle. you roll your eyes with a frustrated sigh before feeling a hand on top of yours.

you look up seeing it’s sana with worried eyes. you give her a reassuring smile before turning back to dae-jong.

“fine,” you get up walking with him outside of the cafeteria so you can both have some privacy.

“what do you want?” you ask.

“when we’re you going to tell me you had our child?”

you nearly cut him off, “my child. she’s my child.”

“doesn’t work like that. I got you pregnant.” he says with a smirk that you really want to punch off his face.

“she doesn’t even know who you are. and I intend to keep it that way until she’s older, but I’m still sure as hell she’ll want nothing to do with you.” you explain with gritted teeth.

his expression changes from cocky to angry in the matter of a second.

“you can’t keep me from her, y/n. I have rights as her father.”

you scoff, then chuckle at how stupid he was.

“last time I checked, my name is the only one on the birth certificate, yours is not. so no, you have no rights to her whatsoever except for me. so, as my right to my daughter, you will not see her until I think it’s appropriate.” you explain making him even more angry.

“you think she won’t be asking about who her father is?”

“Oh wow! now you want to start using that title towards her after four fucking years! how fucking ridiculous. you’re ridiculous. you’re not fit to be a father, much less a good boyfriend. which is why I left in the first place.”

your anger was taking over at the thought of this man wanting to see your daughter. you would never let him step foot towards her. you didn’t care if he promised anything and everything to you, you didn’t feel safe with him anywhere near her.

“like you’re so fit to be a mother? 14 and pregnant?”

“and? I’ve taken the responsibility of being a mother all on my own! and I did it all. you were fourteen and an immature asshole, and still are, so you can guarantee I wasn’t going to let someone like you help raise my daughter.”

you saw his fists balled up at his sides. but you weren’t scared of him, not right now at least. you were in a public school, and as one of the star athletes of the school, he could jeopardize his entire career.

without another word, you walked away from him back into the cafeteria where sana was rushing to the door where she saw you.

“are you okay? I was getting worried.” her eyes scan you.

“yes, I’m okay. I promise.”

sana nods slowly trying to convince herself before she leads you back over to the table you were sitting at before.

the three girls look at you with worried faces.

“are you alright? you seemed like you didn’t want to talk to him.” mina asks.

you nod, “yes, guys, don’t worry about me. I can handle myself.”

the girls nod as they continue on with conversations from before, but you didn’t notice how sana was glaring at dae-jong as he was walking back through the cafeteria, and he as well was glaring back at the girl.

“y/n? I hope it’s not too much of a bother, and you can most definitely say no but, could we possibly see pictures?” dahyun asks with curiosity written all over her face.

you were surprised to hear this, immediately knowing what she meant.

you’ve always kept your daughter private, besides people knowing she exists, you don’t allow much people to see her face unless it’s her daycare teachers, and family.

but you trust sana, so you feel you can trust these girls.

“yes, but not here, too many people.” you say in a slight whisper.

“off to the cherry tree it is!”

once you all made it to the infamous cherry blossom tree where it has history of many many years ago, you all sat down on the grass where you were shuffling around in your bag and pulling out a plethora of photos that were all held together by a rubber band.

you swear you’ll find a case for all these later.

once you took the rubber band off, you look up seeing three girls who are were sitting so eager to see.

you let the girls go through each photo excitedly.

“oh my god! she’s so cute and tiny!” mina squeals.

“her two front teeth!” dahyun smiles.

“she looks just like you,” momo compliments as she flips through photos.

“thank you,” you chuckle.

sana’s silence didn’t go unnoticed by you, in fact, it surprised you when you looked over at her beside you.

she was so infatuated with these older photos of you.

ones where you were holding your baby, even when you were pregnant with her, beside your aunt jihyo.

sana was taken back at how all these photos could practically tell your whole life story.

one photo that nearly brought her to tears was when you first held your daughter in the hospital bed. you held her so close, lips to her forehead, a heart warming smile on your face.

“are you okay, sana?” you ask the girl who snapped out from her gaze, looking at your with a chuckle, watery eyes.

“i’m okay. i just got caught up looking at this photo of you,” she confesses while she holds her head back to catch any tears that may fall.

you give her a small smile before looking at the other girls who were so caught up in laughter and adoring your pictures of your little girl.

it made you think about memories.

some that weren’t all too good, either.

one photo in particular you saw, and you just went into a daze.

“i’m not staying here anymore.” you state as you walk down the stairs of dae-jong’s house.

a furious dae-jong follows behind you, “oh really? you’re just gonna run away again? you always do this!”

“i’m not dealing with it anymore! all you and your parents ever do is gaslight and belittle me about how i would be as a parent when you aren’t showing the responsibility to even be one! and i’m sure as hell not letting my baby live here with you!”

“you are so dramatic. my parents and i know what’s best for you. considering that we took you in after your parents kicked you out, you should be fucking grateful we even did! but you’re just an ungrateful bitch!” he screams as you exit through the front door of his house.

you stop at the last step before turning around to him, “i get that you’re not ecstatic about this baby. hell, i’m not even with the fucking time being. but babies happen when you have sex, alright? you and i took part of that. so if you want to continue being like this, i will gladly raise this baby by myself, because that’s what a decent parent does.”

“y/n-ah? are you alright?” you hear dahyun softly ask.

you shake your head snapping from your thoughts before turning your head to dahyun.

“i’m okay,” you pause before grabbing the photo of you and daejong and ripping it apart in front of them.

“i should’ve gotten rid of this photo a long time ago.” you sigh staring at the ripped pieces of paper.

“so, what was it like?” sana asks you as you both walk your way down the street to your daughter’s daycare.

“what was what like?” you ask in confusion.

“being pregnant? and having her.” she asks once more.

you let out a soft chuckle remembering it all like it was yesterday.

“well, dae-jong was out of the question to begin with. so, i went to go stay with my aunt and she willingly took me in. i will just say, pregnancy is not all sunshine and rainbows. it’s an obvious for all women, but being a teenager and going through it is so terrible. even the epidural didn’t help much.” you ramble.

sana giggles listening to your life story, being very attentive. ever since she’s met you and your little girl, she’s been intrigued and interested in you since then.

“but, i’ll just say i’m thankful i had my aunt by my side. otherwise i don’t know where i would’ve gone.” you finish.

“that sounds like a lot to bare, y/n. it’s really strong of you. it’s what make you so interesting and intriguing.” she says making your eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“o-oh.” you shyly smile.

sana smiles before looking up seeing you’re close to the daycare.

“am i allowed to see her again?” she asks with a grin.

you found your heart pounding before giving a nod, “sure.”

#darlinggtwice #minatozaki sana #sana x fem reader #in her eyes series #twice sana #twice imagines #sana imagines #teen mom reader

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