#judith has never disappointed me more

[pansexual-lilychen]

i’m still not over the fact that we got the kitty reunion in a tumblr post on a random monday

[paradoxcase]

Dramatis Personae Guest List of Nona the Ninth

The best thing, hands down, about ebooks is that I can search for the book in the Nook app, click a button, and buy the next book in like ten seconds total, I don't have to wait for anything to ship to me, it's just instant, buy a book, read a book, instant gratification, I love it

Anyway, I'm just noticing that all the books have this dedication:

pT as in paraTactician? Haha. And a moirallengiance diamond, it looks like. Homestuck fandom will never die

So, this was either written in another language, or it was dictated because the author does not know how to write

Dogs first, this person (Nona, I guess) has their priorities in order

Does she assume "Stop It" is the dog's name because people are constantly telling it "Stop it" or is that an actual BOE name?

A six-legged dog, I am intrigued

The names of the human characters did not disappoint. What's up with Kevin's name?

So We Suffer is back for this book, maybe? Looking forward to finding out more about her

Is "you three" Camilla and Corona and Judith? Is Pyrrha then not actually in this book, or is one of Corona and Judith missing? I guess they might be using Judith to pilot their stolen ship with the stele in it, and she's therefore not in this book since based on the list of dogs and the epilogue from Harrow the Ninth this seems to take place on a populated BOE planet and not in space. That would be disappointing, I was actually looking forward to more of Judith after As Yet Unsent

[hoperays-song]

Sing 1 Commentary and Review Pt. 3

Welcome back to the madness loves!!! Also, I tried to tone down the commentary so I get further in the movie this time. Is this an elaborate plan to distract me from my fic being with my beta reader? Yes! Am I using it for content? Also yes! Enjoy!

Yes, I am trying to restrain myself more this time, it's hard.

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Guys, guys, guys, here me out here... I think Barry minds.

Also, headcanon I'm not sure I ever mentioned on here before but the reason Barry minds Johnny taking his spot isn't jealousy of being passed over but because he didn't want his honorary nephew to have a larger role in the gang than he already did. He was trying to protect him.

HERE. This is the moment where Marcus confirms they were going to stop stealing after this last heist. They were legit only doing it out of necessity because the needed money.

(aka my debt theory is going strong bwahahaha)

Ok but the way Marcus looks at Stan and Barry when Johnny storms off, just his face of "that's weird right? or is it normal teenage angst? what's going on?" is so funny. He's so lost.

Also, I genuinely believe that Johnny might have been planning on telling his family about the singing here (he comes back much later but seems still really hyped up like he was getting the confidence to do so) but didn't when he was given the role of getaway driver. Even if it was just for one job, it clearly made him feel way less seen as a person and like he was a disappointment for not fitting into the mold of who he thinks his father wants him to be (the queer metaphor is still going hard I see, lovely).

👏 Relationship👏  Counseling👏 

Engineer Rosita My Beloved!!!! <3

This woman definitely has at least two masters degrees in mechanical engineering because the machine she made is something out of Willy Wonka.

So... there either were intake forms where they all listed their talents and Johnny put down a skill he hadn't done since he was little or... Buster legit just asked this teenager to learn an skill that takes years upon years of training in like a month. For some weird reason, i'm leaning towards the latter and Johnny having experience is a coincidence.

Horrified Punk Rocker™️

I completely forgot that Meena wrote out what she was gonna say to Buster on her hand. I love that and I will be including it everywhere.

Also, unrelated, but Buster is on his second felony of the movie right now and we barely are passed the 30 minutes mark. Not to mention the numerous misdemeanors.

And, the workshop where they build their props in apparently on the second floor according to Buster. That seems like you're making more work for yourself with all the moving up and down but, you know, you do you.

Mike puntable moments counter: 19

He really does not think things through does he?

Lance puntable moments counter: 17

Dude, she's your girlfriend, for fucks sake, be supportive!!!! It's not rocket science over here!!!

Johnny making fun of his dad and exaggerating his accent will never not be funny to me. He's acting like a regular teenager, not a gang member, and it's both adorable and hysterical.

Judith has arrived!!! We love characters who are actually just trying to do their jobs here. Like imagine being the bank representative assigned to Buster freaking Moon. You'd be pissed off too.

... Gay. That's the only commentary I can add here. That's very gay.

Gunter, the chaos enabler, Rosita, the chaos handler, and Caspar, the chaos.

You just know as soon as Caspar got home he was begging him mom to let him hang out with the fun dance guy again.

Johnny's over here going through the nine stages of grief about his singing career.

Also, do we know why Johnny was called away this time? Because they weren't planning any heists in between the one we have already seen and the failed one to our knowledge. So, was he actually called back because of something to do with the garage? It would technically be a family business thing then after all.

Ash, I am so sorry. About everything you go through in this movie. So sorry. You get adopted by a crazy guy and an old rockstar by the end of the next movie if it's any comfort (probably not but worth a shot).

Also, their apartment is huge!!! How are they affording that when struggling to find and keep gigs???

Lance puntable moments counter: 27

I am once again reminded that the mob canonically exists here and Mike thought cheating them was a good idea?!?

Mike puntable moments counter: 23

The last moments those poor flowers had. RIP.

The dramatic music that appears whenever she does is honestly amazing. And I love how she just seems to despise Buster on principal here.

But the fact that Eddie's grandmother knows Buster? And a fair bit about his life? Eddie has definitely mentioned him and also Buster went to Eddie's graduation!! That's so sweet, you know he was one of those people who make huge posters of their loved ones faces and their degree.

This, my lovely gentlefolk and assorted cryptids, is what a bad idea looks like!

Ok, we have arrived to the failed heist. Now personally, I would have just pretended to be sick so that Buster would have let me go without worrying about the show. That way my role in the show would be safe while I would also be out of debt, win-win. However, that's clearly not what happened here.

I stand with the fact that this could have been easily avoided but I do not solely blame Johnny here. He's a kid. Kids make mistakes all the time. He just made a mistake. Was it a bigger mistake than a lot of people's? Yes, but it was still a mistake. He is not at fault here.

As for the gang, smart move on their part to immediately surrender. That way they lessened their sentence by not resisting arrest. Also, Marcus looks genuinely worried when he realises Johnny is not there, and I completely understand that. He has no idea where his son is and there's police everywhere, he's bound to be panicked.

Rosita is amazing. I love her, she's so sweet.

Ok, genuinely forgot about Gunter and Rosita's fight at the dress rehearsals.

Also, Mike puntable moments counter: 25

Ok, I feel like we missed a part of this conversation. We jump right to Marcus asking where Johnny was and looking pissed. I can almost guarantee that that conversation did not start like that. Marcus and Johnny are shown to be close, despite their communication issues. He's going to be upset, yes, but he's still gonna be worried about his kid. Marcus definitely asked if Johnny was ok or arrested or sick first.

Also, ouch. This scene hurts. The overall message of familiar rejection for you just trying to be yourself, of who you actually are is not good enough? It makes me sob every single time. This is just insanely painful.

(Yes, this is a central part of Johnny's story being queer coded and as someone who had a similar situation happen when I came out, I'm just saying it's very realistic).

Then the stealing bit afterwards being reference for pushing yourself into who others want you to be to feel love? And Johnny choosing even then it's better if he is his actual true self? Amazing, perfection, true cinema.

This is the emptiest grocery store I've ever seen in my entire life. Seriously. Is anyone other than these two there? I'm guessing a cashier but I don't see one.

Also this security dude is an amazing hype man, just cheering and blasting music.

Buster, stop encouraging kids to commit felonies. I know you're on three now but seriously man???

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND GAVE THIS GREMLIN A BLOWTORCH?!?!?!?! ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY SOCIETY???? Also, Meena and Buster were renovating the theatre at the same time as Johnny was practicing with Mrs. Crawly. I completely forgot they were there at the same time?

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This is taking way longer than I thought but hey, it's time consuming!

Be back in a few (these take a bit to edit sorry)! - <3 Gooseless

[adamwatchesmovies]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

No adult who didn’t grow up watching the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated series has any business watching the 1990 live-action film. While the animatronics and costumes bringing the reptilian heroes to life are impressive, the humor is juvenile, characters thin and the dialogue bad. These facts didn’t matter to the film’s intended audience. The beloved pizza-eating shadow warriors appearing on the big screen was enough and everyone knew it. The poster’s tagline of “Hey dudes this is NO cartoon” made it abundantly clear. It’ll continue to engage young viewers even today but children of the ‘80s who revisit it will be disappointed unless they're wearing thick rose-tinted glasses.

Mutated by radioactive ooze, raised in the sewers of New York by a rat who knows Kung Fu and obsessed with pizza, Michelangelo (Robbie Rist), Raphael (Josh Pais), Donatello (Corey Feldman) and Leonardo (Brian Tochi) are unlikely heroes. When the Foot Clan, a criminal organization of ninjas led by the mysterious “Shredder” (James Saito), begins recruiting the youth of NYC, the turtles team up with news reporter April O’Neal (Judith Hoag) and vigilante Cassie Jones (Elias Koteas) to take them down.

You’d never guess Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was made for a mere $13.5 million. Even when you consider the inflation, this is a good-looking movie. Our crazy-looking heroes interact with each other and with people, speak, eat, fight, ride skateboards, and so on. The lip-synch may be slightly off here and there but the illusion is convincing.

I can also praise the film for staying true to itself. The source material is a tough pill to swallow but the screenplay by Todd W. Langen and Bobby Herbeck doesn’t try to make the concept more digestible by making the turtles aliens or making their sensei/father into a man that was transformed into a rat-like creature. They’re 15-year-old shell warriors who love pizza and speak like surfer dudes. If you don’t buy that, the movie doesn’t want anything to do with you. It’s going to keep moving along those lines and doesn’t want to waste time dealing with semantics.

I suppose I can give a thumbs up to some of the film’s humorours sequences. They are genuinely funny about half the time and even when the gags are bad, they never go for fart jokes or other low-hanging fruit. Beyond this, I wish I had more nice things to say. This movie tries to do too much. It’s introducing the four protagonists, plus April, Cassie Jones, Shredder, Splinter, April’s boss and his troubled son, all on top of the characters’ origin and the actual plot. As a result, we hardly get to know the mutant heroes. They're virtually indistinguishable from each other except maybe Raphael, who has anger issues. Shredder is just as bad. We know nothing about him except that he’s evil and needs to be defeated.

Unless you already love the turtles and are overjoyed seeing them beat up an endless number of incompetent foot soldiers, the plot doesn’t offer much at all. It might be more “grown up” by daring to have a few of its characters curse (that surely rattled some cages back in the day) but the story has no depth. The dialogue is filled with groan-worthy one-liners, which to me makes the warriors believable as cartoon versions of teenagers. As a kid, I might’ve idolized these “grown up” turtles. Today, I find them mostly annoying. That goes double for the rap that introduces the end credits.

I choose to call Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a good movie because it accomplishes its objectives. This is an unpretentious action comedy that wants nothing to do with the non-fans of the turtles. Everyone was into this franchise at the time and it continues to draw an audience. Kids will laugh at the turtles’ antics, be shocked when they get hurt, and cheer when the bad guys get what’s coming to them. It’s not for me and probably not for anyone reading this but I can see the appeal. (November 6, 2020)

[liesmyth]

Hmmm I disagree with you about Corona and Judith, but I haven’t read as yet unsent because Judith bores me that much aha….

Basically judging by the main three books, I think they wouldn’t do it because Judith like… she would have relaxed a bit if they had sex and that’s unacceptable in her books… like Judith would not have a relationship with Corona as a form of self harm if you catch my drift. so judging by that alone the sex would have been nice? Idk. Maybe I’m that impressed with Corona’s boobs who knows

But yeah Harrow and Gideon would have had wonderful sex and even Gideons pornographic education wouldn’t stand in their way because Gideon is also very good at following directions. Like the whole “don’t speak to anyone” and Gideon not speaking to anyone? They would have had wonderful sex

As Yet Unsent is REALLY good! It's less about Judith than it is about worldbuilding details, BoE and [spoiler character] but yeah, it's also about Judith.

(Some AYU spoilers ahead) The narration makes it clear that Judith is clearly really super into Corona, but also it doesn't mention Ianthe once—like, Judith talks about Corona all the time but doesn't seem to take into account at all the codependent twin that's like a good 30% of Corona's personality (at least!) and IMO it really reads like Judith has very little idea of who Corona is as a person. I mean, we readers don't do either because she's such an enigmatic character. On the other hand, Corona likes unattainable people that she can never have because she can project on them—in AYU she's really really into the idea of devoting herself to Judith more than she seems to be about Judith herself, so I can't help but see her attitude in NtN as an extension of that.

tldr, I think if they had sex it would be whatever. But Judith would expect it to be a life-changing experience because she built up Corona in her mind, and Corona IMO would lose all interest once Judith stops being an ideal and becomes a person, so they'd end up pretty disappointed, like, mid-fuck. Corona's boobs are nice though.

Like the whole “don’t speak to anyone” and Gideon not speaking to anyone?

yOU GET IT. YOU REALLY GET IT. SHE JUST WANTS HARROW. AND HAS A CANONICAL PRAISE KINK. YEAH

[judeschoices]

Good Enough

A Tyler Woods story because I highkey don’t like how PB was setting up his character in the beginning. So I wanna do him some form of justice with a fanfic because he deserves better. Just to make it crystal clear, I don’t condone violence unless it’s a last resort sort of thing.

Thankfully Tyler got more character development as time passes but to satisfy my growing disappointment, I’ll create a backstory for him.

You should know I name my MCs Judith (I actually did a guy route for COP, so any male MC would be named Jude). So it’s gonna be Tyler Woods x Valentine Judith Stone (both characters are black, surprise surprise).

On with the story!

Book: Murder at Homecoming

Pairing: Tyler Woods x Valentine “Judith” Stone

Rating: Teens

Tags: Reflective, Fluff, Mutual Pining (ish)

——————————————

Tyler Woods grew up as someone who was always questioning his worth. With the life he’s lived thus far, it’s been a common thing where he would ask himself the question:

‘Am I good enough?’

His mother worked endless hours at a diner to help support the family and to get Tyler into a good school where he can get a good education. His father has been in and out of jail for selling drugs around the block. This has been happening since he was eight years old.

After seeing what his father is doing with his life and how his dear mom went through so much to put him a better position, he silently vowed to be someone great. Only… it didn’t turn out that way.

Growing up as a kid leading up to his now late teenage years, Tyler didn’t live in a safe gated community like his peers. Where he lived, drug dealing and robberies were common. His version of a lullaby was the sound of police sirens and gunshots. He didn’t wear anything flashy or brand names since his mom couldn’t afford such things. This didn’t go unnoticed by his richer classmates.

They would laugh and jeer at his hand-me-down clothes and sneakers. Whisper amongst themselves to watch their stuff closely just in case he would try to steal it. Talk down at him for what type of family he came from. He was constantly picked on for his lanky build, an easy target for bullies to vent their own anger out on.

His teachers were no better. No matter how many times he’s told an adult or even gotten his mother involved, the bullying didn’t stop. Tyler knew it was because the last thing the school needs is to lose a rich future beneficiary. They’ll gladly expel him first before even thinking about have a parent teacher conference for one of those stuffy rich kids. Gladly tell him that he would never become anyone worth remembering.

Tyler tried keeping his head down best he could but it wasn’t until one day one of his bullies slammed him against the lockers. He was already having a sour day. He missed the bus early that morning and had to run several blocks to the next bus stop if he wanted to the slightest chance to getting to school on time. He failed another one of his math tests for a third time in a row. He forgot his essay at home since he spent most of the night writing and falling asleep at his desk, thus making him miss his alarm and late for school. He almost fell asleep in his last class for the day and the teacher made a show of hitting his knuckles with a ruler with the entire class laughing at him.

With all that and now his supposed daily dose of bullying, something in the young boy snapped. His hand curled into a fist before he could think twice about what he was doing and he swung.

Tyler could never fully remember what happened. The next thing he remember was being the office, both him and the bully dawning quite a few bruises.

He and the kid were suspended for fighting. While he was upset about having to stay home and disappointing his mother, he felt a bit better that there was a bit of justice in the situation. 

That he finally stood up for himself.

He didn’t want to be other peoples’ doormat anymore. 

Granted he didn’t go looking for fights, he didn’t want to jeopardize the opportunity his mother worked so hard to give him. So he took up running. Running was his personal escape from reality. Where he felt free. Where he could be himself. Where he knew it didn’t matter what was your background or what your status was, it was about your athletic prowess. He tried out for the track team and easily got on the team. His skill made him recognizable among his peers. 

But he never got over his anger and trauma from dealing with the upper crest of society. 

It only grew worse as he entered high school. It was like no matter what he did, it was like someone was out to get him. Everyone seemed to hate him because some low life from the rough part of town could easily smoke them on the track field.

He hated what happened to Brett’s sister.

He hated that he stressed his mom about the potential expulsion.

He hated that once he was expelled, they’ll easily replace him with someone else.

He hated that he was never good enough.

When Gabbie offered to save him from himself, he took the opportunity. He couldn’t let his mom down, he couldn’t let himself down. Gabbie had an influence he could only dream of having. She was his friend.

Though he wished how the next several months played out differently. After the incident, she asked him to be her fake boyfriend. While he did want to ask why, he held his tongue. She helped him when he needed it most, the least he could was to do the same to her.

It’s not like he was interested in someone else for him to say no... or so he thought.

It was two months before Homecoming that he really noticed her.

Infamous kid detective, Judith Stone. 

It’s not like he really spoke to her before, it was by chance he even got to interact with her. 

She seemed to be in a rush somewhere, but she didn’t seem to notice that he was walking past the corner she about to round. She collided with him like a speeding bullet. After stumbling back a few steps, he was able to steady the both of them. 

“Are you okay,” he asked her, holding the girl up by her waist. The head of soft bouncy curls looked up, revealing a pair of big dark brown eyes. Tyler felt his mouth dry up as those eyes blinked slowly as him. Full lips parted as Judith spoke,

“Yeah. Thank you, Tyler.” The girl pulled away from the track star’s embrace before rushing off.

Tyler watched after her with a dumbfounded expression and a fluttering heart.

Tyler had little crushes in the past. But Judith was a different story. It wasn’t something that died in a few days or even a few weeks. It lasted for months and showed no signs of fizzling out.

Tyler tried to talk himself out of liking her. Like many of the girls he’s crushed on, they would never give him the time of day. People already look at him sideways for “dating” Gabbie. He would always hear how he wasn’t good enough for the likes of her and how she could possibly see something in him. 

Judith couldn’t possibly see him like he saw her. No matter how desperately he wished for there to be some sort of chance.

Then Homecoming night came.

When he saw Judith slide into the limo, he almost choked. The short shimmery 20′s style dress hugged her figure perfectly. Her hair was braided back and formed a low bun, revealing her face. Those dark brown eyes scanned the car’s occupants and finally landed on him. He could feel his heart kickstart in his chest as she greeted him with a small smile.

On the way to the school, he kept stealing glances at the girl detective, wishing that it was her that was wrapped under his arm...

Then the news of Gabbie’s death came crashing down on all of them. He felt crushed that his friend died, believing it was his fault. During their “relationship”, Gabbie was being highly secretive. It drove him crazy sometimes because he would have to cover for her and he had no idea what exactly he was helping her hide. He even considered following her to get some answers but decided against it, not wanting to risk getting caught.

Though he didn’t expect Gabbie’s death would lead to him talking to Judith...

...well after she broke into his locker, broke into his car, hopped out of his moving car, sent him on a wild goose chase into the woods, nearly smacked him with tree branch wielded in her small hands, and accused him of murdering Gabbie.

What a crazy start to their story.

Even when she looked ready to knocked his head clean off his shoulders, he couldn’t help but to find her beautiful. The setting sun bathe her in a breathtaking glow. He couldn’t look away from her eyes.

No matter how angry those eyes seem to be, he couldn’t help but to be captivated at how they lit up from a dark, almost black, color to a rich mahogany brown. 

They sat and chatted by the cliff side once she was through with interrogating him. Not willing to let the girl go just yet, he invited Judith to the diner where his mom used to work at. He never brought anyone else there before. Not even Gabbie.

The place was one of the few places that was near and dear to him. He had memories of sitting at one of the retro booths, watching his mom flit from table to table while he did his homework. The workers adored her, him as well.

Whether Judith knew it or not, he was letting her in on something he would never show to others.

...and he may or may not have been treating it as if it was date.

What? You can’t blame a guy for wishing for something more with the girl he’s been pining after for months.

Hearing her talk about herself intrigued him. Especially when he learned Judith wasn’t even her real first name. He knew she preferred to go by her middle name but he hoped that maybe one day he would be special enough to call her Valentine.

For her to be his little Valentine.

Though he felt his hopes were being dashed as they started working together. He almost found himself getting into fights with their persons of interests, nearly ruining their chances of gathering any intel. Judith had to step in each time do some level of damage control because his sorry ass couldn’t control his temper.

He felt ashamed with himself.

The last thing he wanted was for her to see him to be more of a hindrance rather a beneficial partner. See him as some bullhead jock.

All he wanted was to be good enough for her...

The dwindling hope he felt sparked anew when they shared their first kiss. At first, he couldn’t believe it. After she basically cornered him into confessing on why the track had it out for him and how he almost got expelled, he felt like she was going to shun him. As if the last shred of good that she possibly saw him whittered away.

Hearing her say that she didn’t hate him and she saw that he was trying to make amends to what had happened in the past nearly made him sag in relief. He really did care about how she thought of him and wanted nothing more but to stay in her good graces.

He wanted to be more than that little boy who was shunned by everyone because his social status in society was beneath theirs. More than the kid that thought that standing up for himself was using his fists first and words later. More than some fake boyfriend.

He wanted to be Tyler Woods, someone who was more than his circumstances. A young man with a promising future ahead of him and was making his hardworking mother proud. A boy who had the heart and affections of a certain girl detective. 

He remembered giving her a small smile when she shifted forward. The solid thump his heart gave against his ribcage when those full pouty lips he secretly daydreamed about brushing against his own nearly made him breathless. He immediately leaned in the rest of the way, kissing her with all the pent up emotion he’s been feeling for months. Feeling her cup his face as she kissed him back with the same energy made him melt a little on the inside. He tried leaning over on her side as much as he physically could, wanting to make the moment last between them.

As much as he wanted the special moment to last forever, they both needed to breathe at some point.

Pulling apart, he felt as if he was blinded by her breathtaking smile.

“I honestly wanted to do that for so long...” Judith raised an amused brow at the track star’s breathless confession.

“Oh? How long are we talking,” she asked. Tyler could feel his face heat up and he knew she could probably feel it, seeing how she was still cupping his face with her delicate hands.

“Since... since you ran into me that one time. Few months before Homecoming. I wasn’t sure if you would even like me and with everything that’s been going since Homecoming, it probably would be weird to confess such a thing,” he shyly admitted. The girl let out a chuckle, the sound was rich and warm. It reminded Tyler of drinking a cup of hot chocolate.

“Dork. It just so happened I like weird,” she mumbled, looking into his eyes. Tyler could see the sincerity in those dark irises and he felt a goofy grin break out on his face and he leaned in for another kiss.

Since then, Judith seemed to be opening up about her feelings towards him, and Tyler couldn’t be anymore happier about it.

The night they stayed out together to share the cheesecake they won with Donovan and Stevie was growing proof that she returned his feelings. She was going out her way to get him alone and that thought alone made him feel giddy on the inside.

He originally didn’t really want to do the trivia night. Donovan, Judith, and Stevie seemed so much smarter to him, what could he possibly contribute. But once they all got a groove of things, he found himself enjoying their company. When Donovan and Stevie left, he felt his heart flutter at the smile Judith was giving him.

They laughed at their first real interaction outside of Homecoming, she comforted him on his insecurities, and got to share something sweet with her. 

And it wasn’t just the cheesecake.

Tyler had been secretly hoping to experience another kiss with her. He hasn’t stopped thinking about their first kiss. Her lips were the softest thing he’s ever felt and she tasted like vanilla. Tasting that familiar vanilla bean chapstick mixed with the cheesecake they shared was a heady combination. He wrapped an arm around her waist, eager to have her closer to him.

The kiss was curious and sweet. As if they wanted to explore their feelings in this new tender way neither of them would have suspected months ago.

“Mmm... I was wondering when we were going to do that again,” he mumbled, gazing into those dark eyes. Judith graced him with one of her bright smiles, slender fingers fiddled with his necklace as she gazed back.

“Whenever you want,” she said, kissing his cheek. He chuckled at the mental image that popped up in his mind.

“I don’t think Donovan and Stevie would like that very much. Especially Stevie,” he challenged with a cocked brow. Judith let out a chuckle of her own.

“Okay, fair. How about this, you can kiss me any time you want to and we’re not with either of them,” she concede. Tyler leaned in, pecking her lips a few more times. When he opened his eyes, Judith could see his eyes darken with want as he slowly licked his lips.

“Oh, you’re definitely gonna regret saying that,” he mumbled, his voice taking on a more huskier edge. Judith smirked at the track star.

“Somehow I don’t think I will,” she teased, her voice coming out as a purr as she ran her fingers over the back of his neck. Tyler mentally groaned.

‘She’s going to be the death of me...’

Despite them coming together under unique circumstances... Tyler never felt like more of a normal teenager before. Some days, his basic goal was just to make the stoic girl smile she rarely lets anyone else see.

Like when she texted him hours before the party.

Well... when he mentioned “pre-game”, he was hoping for a few kisses as well.

Tyler was quickly developing a sweet tooth for Judith kisses, he is man enough to admit he melts a little when she offers him one.

Though when he notice how stressed the girl seemed to be, he was more than happy to take her mind off of it by spending time with her and her adorable fluffball of a dog, Puck.

He loved their afternoon stroll. Tyler secretly hoped when he found the courage to ask her to be his girlfriend that they could do this more often. Seeing Puck bounce around his owner, seeing her smile adoringly at him. The feeling of her hand intertwined with his. Her head on his shoulder. Seeing Judith try to hide her amused giggle behind her hand as he played with “Pucky-Poo”.

The moment between them was something he never felt before in his life...

He felt like he was finally good enough...

Good enough to be with such a beautiful and captivating girl who so happens to go by the name Valentine Judith Stone.

“I’m just some guy. You’re Judith Stone,” he remarks as he sat on the girl’s bed. They were waiting for Donovan and Stevie to show up so they could all go to the party. Judith was standing in front of him as he said this. Her dark eyes soften as she gazed at him, taking the track star runner by surprise.

“Tyler, you’re definitely not ‘just some guy’. Not to me,” Judith said softly. The air surrounding the two seemed to have shifted. As if both them suddenly realized that they were no longer co-detectives working on a case but two teenagers, alone together in a room... 

Judith stepped closer, standing in between the space of Tyler’s knees. Their hands naturally gravitated towards each other. Judith’s hands finding purchase on Tyler’s shoulders, while his hands found the curve of her hips. Their lips met in a gentle kiss, testing the waters and their resolve.

Tyler could feel Judith’s fingers dance along the sensitive skin of his neck before tangling themselves in his curly hair. Her neatly filed nails gently scratched his scalp. A low groan escaped the back of his throat as he tugged the girl closer. Judith seemed catch the hint, straddling the older boy.

“I was hoping this was why you called,” he mumbled against her lips, looking at the young detective with a hooded gaze. Judith gave him a familiar flirtatious smirk.

“Just here for the smooches, are you,” she teased. A low laugh escaped him as he spread kisses all over the girl’s face. Judith giggled at the quick butterfly kisses tickling her cheeks. Tyler gave her a kiss on her forehead, another on the tip of her nose, before finally returning to her lips. Judith let out a small moan when she felt one of Tyler’s hands run up her back, pressing against the space between her shoulder blades to pull her closer. Tyler pulled away to look into her eyes.

“I hope I’ve made it clear that I like you, Judith. Kisses or no,” he whispered in her ear. The girl shuddered at the tickling sensation on her ear. She chuckled.

“But the kisses don’t hurt, now do they,” she teased, running her small hands over his shoulders. Tyler answered her with another kiss.

Tyler knew he would never tire of this act. Getting the chance to feel his crush’s lips against his in an intimate way. Being able to hold her this close. To be surround by the scent of warm vanilla and a sweet musk scent. He let out a soft hum when he felt her arch against him, her thighs tightening around his hips. One of his hands slid in her hair while the other felt along the muscle of her thigh.

He nipped on her lower lip, coaxing her to open up to him. Just as their tongues met, there was a knock at the door.

“Judith! The rest of your friends are here,” her mom called. The pair sprang apart, blushing deeply. But there were twin goofy smiles on their face. Judith place one more kiss on his cheek before answering her mom.

Tyler stared at the teen PI like a lovesick puppy.

‘One day Valentine... one day, I hope to be good enough for you to call me your boyfriend...’

[chthonic-cassandra]

Recent books, non fiction -

Karen Brooks Hopkins, BAM...and Then It Hit Me - this is Brooks Hopkins' memoir of her 36-year career at the Brooklyn Academy of Music (BAM), where she initially worked in development and ultimately became the CEO. Brooks Hopkins (or KBH, as she seems to be referred in an institution where acronyms are beloved) is not a great memoirist, but she is clearly an incredibly skilled fundraiser and marketer, and her accounts of honing those skills and putting them to use is fascinating despite rather lackluster accounts that make hardly any space for her or anyone else's inner life. There are a lot of things that are warped and rotten about the whole US system of philanthropy and arts funding; Brooks Hopkins isn't writing as a critic of those systems, but as an extremely canny player of them. I don't think this would be very interesting to people who aren't already invested in BAM and its role in the NYC arts scene, but I enjoyed it a great deal.

Nicole Chung, All You Can Ever Know - memoir of Chung's experience as a transracial adoptee (her birth parents are Korean and her adoptive parents are white), and her journey to learning about and ultimately reconnecting with her birth family. Chung writes gently and empathetically about the complexities of her family experience, but at times it felt like she was holding back (maybe out of consideration for her many still-living family members), and I found myself wanting more (for example, we never actually hear from her how she decided to return to using her birth family's last name, though we know she does because it's how the book is signed). The most moving thread of the story, and the one that will stay with me the most, was the the story of Chung's reconnection with her birth sister.

Reginald Dwayne Betts, A Question of Freedom: A Memoir of Survival, Learning, and Coming of Age in Prison - Betts is a poet (whose poetry I loved before reading this book); this is the memoir of the 8 years he spent incarcerated for a carjacking he committed at 16. I thought this was excellent; I love Betts' style, and his gaze both on the world around him and on his own inner experience was vivid and astute. Many prison memoirs focus on how the author's experience was exceptional in some way, often because they were falsely convicted and don't 'belong' there (as though anyone 'belongs' in a prison); the strength of Betts' book is in the way that he holds at once onto the knowledge that his experience was profoundly statistically unexceptionable, alongside the specificity and uniqueness of his own inner world. Betts writes with great nuance about the quotidian indignities and humiliations of incarceration alongside the beauty of the human connections he makes with the other men there. I loved the way he wrote about his own crime of conviction, his reflection on "choosing to make someone a victim" and how prison never gave him any space to contend with that. Recommended.

Judith Flanders, A Place for Everything: The Curious History of Alphabetical Order - another instance of reading Flanders and being disappointed. This had some fun trivia, but didn't come together into a thesis in the way I would hope.

Robin Wall Kimmerer, Gathering Mosses - I know Kimmerer's more recent book, Braiding Sweetgrass, has gotten a lot of acclaim; I haven't read that one yet. This is a collection of gentle essays on Kimmerer's career studying moss. I know nothing about this field, but Kimmerer's ability to describe the natural world and her obvious love for the mosses she studies carried me along easily, and I enjoyed this a great deal.

Susanne Foitzik and Olaf Fritsche, Empire of Ants - another book by a biological about a field which I know nothing about, though with a very different tone. Foitzik is breezy and playful in her descriptions of the world of the ants she studied; I was very interested in the topic, but sometimes wished she would slow down and cut back a bit on the jokes.

[whimsyqueen]

Good morning, good morning, hope classes are going well for you!

First, 'cause I feel like I might've missed it: how'd gay princesses go?

Second, all about Rebekah please, since it sounds like she might be a little more forthcoming than Esther. (If you want some opening questions: what's her preferred murder method, what's her favorite card in Cards Against Humanity, and what kind of bat can she turn into?)

BESTIE!!!!! @aohendo remind me to send u the link to the google doc for gay princesses bc I want you specifically to read it so badly, I’ll do that later today I promise you

Now!!! To answer your questions:

Rebekah is an absolute DELIGHT. I think I said this in her little mini summary, but she definitely has the most trouble actually acting HUMAN out of all of them. It’s an escapism tactic, she had a really really bad life and Delilah definitely saved her from a lot, so she just sort of threw all of her pent-up rage and trauma into being a vampire! It’s hard to find her without at least one bloodstain somewhere on her person, and they stand out particularly more because she’s just so damn pale. Like literally, white hair, dead-looking skin, the works. She embraces it, and has never been happier. She also just likes to *stare*. And by this, I mean she is happiest when she can purposefully unsettle people by staring at them, saying weird shit to them, anything to just absolutely put them the fuck off.

Her favorite murder method is something I call “exsanguination with style” where essentially she’ll hang someone upside down and gut them like a pig and just… hang out in the blood. It’s a pastime of hers, for sure.

Her favorite cards against humanity card is definitely without question luring my husband to the bedroom with a trail of ferret teeth and appearing on the bed in a ferret costume. (Esther’s is German Dungeon Porn, Delilah’s is Tasteful Sideboob, and Judith and Maggie have the same one: A Disappointing Birthday Party. As a special bonus, Carrie’s is Some Goddamn Peace and Quiet)

And this question made me absolutely fully decide what kind of bats they ALL turn into, so here’s that: Rebekah is a Honduran white bat, Delilah is a vampire bat, because of course she is, Esther is a black flying fox, and Judith and Maggie are both Kitti’s hog-nosed bats

Thank you for the questions!!! This one was fun!!

[twdmusicboxmystery]

That Daryl carries Judith, doesn't just parallel Rick+Carl, but of course also Beth. That the authors don't acknowledge this worries me about some theories we have for Beth's return. I understand the need to establish the Judith/Daryl bond, but the disappointment is still there.

I understand the disappointment, but I actually have the opposite reaction. When they refuse to acknowledge something so blatant, it really makes me suspicious.

I'll give you some other examples. When at the end of S10, they filmed at the same hospital they filmed at for Grady, someone asked AK about it in an interview. She totally played dumb. Like, "oh, IS it the same hospital?" Yeah, if you know anything about how a show like this works, AK would have had to approve that location for filming, and may have even helped scout it. She 100% knows it's the same hospital as Grady. They do that specifically because they don't want to acknowledge parallels or even speak too openly about Beth's story line. And if she's really dead and not coming back, why go to such laughable lengths to hide it.

More recently, when people asked about Leah's change of hair color, Kang claimed that Lynn Collins wanted to use her own hair color. Seriously? I talked about this at the time, but it's just an utterly ridiculous statement. The writers decide what a character will look like, and then hair and makeup makes it happen. An actor or actress can't just use their real look because they feel like it. And honestly, I don't even think Lynn Collins is a natural blond. Again, Kang was playing dumb and coming up with random answers in order to avoid uncomfortable questions.

So, the fact that they aren't talking about the Judith/Beth parallels doesn't bother me at all. It's just par for the course of what they've done consistently since S9: not talk openly about Beth, say her name, or anything close to it. It's a pattern of behavior that must have an explanation since they're still actively doing it. And the idea that they would that if Beth is truly dead simply doesn't add up.

Xoxo!

P.S. My fellow theorists and I discussed this exact thing. Here is some of our convo if you want more:

@wdway:

Last night I reread an article by entertainment that interviewed Gimple and AK. It was from a couple of months ago before the series actually started airing part C. The thing I came away with there was a lot of time spent talking about if there would be a coda at the end of the last episode. Gimple made the statement that he would never tell but there were hints that they were honestly thinking about it.

Something that has really struck me is it seems like tptb has gone out of their way to make sure there is no mention of how Daryl carrying Judith is similar to Daryl carrying Beth. I just can't believe that we're the only people that have connected the similarities. They keep bringing up Rick carrying Carl with Michonne leading the way at AZ or Rick carring Carl to the Greene's farm but don't mention the farm they simply say Rick in season 2. If there is nothing fishy going on with Beth why not mention it? Why not say it a call back to Daryl carrying Beth out of Grady and by the way Beth's dead. If it is nothing, if we are totally on the wrong track then why not ever mention Beth. It's like they keep pointing to the pink elephant in the room and saying look at the white puppy.

@galadrieljones:

Good point. And great metaphor with the pink elephant. That’s exactly what it feels like! The same thing happened with Leah and her blond ponytail. It was like nobody wanted to acknowledge that, and when they did they just brushed it off. Like, yeah right. 

I similarly wondered who would remember all the way back to Rick and Carl in season 2 when Daryl was bridal carrying Beth in season 5 during a much more memorable scene in a much more memorable episode. I thought maybe it might add to the notion that Daryl and Beth were father/daughter archetypes, but why would that matter if she’s Dead. And why do they keep aligning Daryl with all these Beth moments and then never acknowledging it? 

Like in Promises Broken when Daryl puts the blanket over the dead woman. When he calls Leah “strong.” I mean I know we’re not the only ppl in the world who have seen this. A lonnng time ago, when season 11 was still filming, ppl were posting grainy photos of Lynn Collins filming, and she had a blond ponytail and many ppl thought it was Emily Kinney. Like, you can’t tell me that’s all just a coincidence. 

So yes it’s the pink elephant in the room. Nobody will acknowledge it but it’s HUGE. And bright pink. Lol. Is this some form of gaslighting for the GA? Getting them to remember what happened without actually saying it outright. Because this would be a good way to build toward her return in a way that surprises, but also that feels like a facepalm once if finally happens.

@wdway:

Exactly. It's like those spoiled shots back in the spring of Daryl carrying Judith we know something was going to happen that made him carry her but when it actually happened, when she was shot I was so surprised at it and then felt dumb for being so shocked because we knew something was going to happen. If Beth returns in the final or in a coda of the final then there will be a lot of people who will say, "I knew that it wasn't just me that thought of Beth when I saw Daryl carrying Judith." I think they'll be a lot of that type of reaction and remembering Leah in a blonde ponytail.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Totally agree. The other time they did this was at the end of S10 when they filmed at the hospital. I think the only reason they ever acknowledged it was because someone caught AK off guard with it in an interview. And of course she played dumb like, "oh, WAS that the same place?" As the show runner, she not only approves but often DECIDES where they film, so it was a ridiculous reaction. But I think it's part of what you're talking about here. Them just refusing to acknowledge the parallels, even as they put them into the show.

@galadrieljones:

Yes, and because they don’t acknowledge the parallels outright, that’s more suspicious but also then super easy to handwave if you’re not really keyed in. It’s rewarding those of us who are watching for implicit storytelling, but that’s a small portion of the audience. Most ppl will only register what’s stated outright. “The signs are all there, you just gotta know how to read them” is a testament to this. 

The same exact thing is happening with the CRM. Like if you’re not seeing the signs, you’re simply not paying attention. Just like Teabing says in DaVinci Code: “People rarely notice things right in front of their eyes.” That said, the audience has gotten a lot smaller over the years and as long as they are operating at some level of basic intelligence, they will still absorb this information on a subconscious level, hence why, when the twist happens, they’ll fade palm and lament that they should have seen it coming. 

The Sixth Sense is my favorite film example of this kind of thing. While I don’t like all of M. Night Shyamalan’s endings, I love that one because the ending is there all along. It’s right in front of your face. When it happens, it’s a shock, but you can watch again and trace that ending all the way back to the very first scene, through symbolism, dialogue cues, vague situations, and straight up logos. He never gets back up. He’s dead. The red doorknob to the locked door. The hidden secret. The fact that he only really ever TRULY interacts with Cole, who we know can “see dead people.” His wife’s sadness, her distance, etc etc. It’s a perfect example of how audiences often fail to see what’s right in front of them until it’s pointed to, outright, at the opportune moment. Then they facepalm and proclaim, “Duh! I knew it!” Because they DID know it. They had all the information, they just didn’t see it for what it was. 

With TWD they are also actively using subterfuge. Like Angela OFTEN plays dumb (very humorous for the showrunner to claim she doesn’t know where they’re shouting, or why Lynn’s hair has changed colors). They scrupulously safeguard spoilers, but the ones that leak anyway are awfully convenient! They deflect the obvious (focusing on Rick and Carl when obviously Daryl carrying Judith = Daryl carrying Beth). I would also argue that nearly all of Tales is meant to inform the flagship and the future of the franchise, but it’s cleverly veiled, isn’t it? All very interesting.

Hope that helps, Nonny! Xoxo! 🌟💕

[derekscorner]

Fiery Opinions: Warrior Hopes~

haha It’s been nearly a year since I’ve done one of these but not for lack of playing Fire Emblem but because I haven’t played anything new. It’s my own fault for not tracking down older titles but that’s a bridge I’ll worry about another day.

Well, okay, that’s a half truth. I have played both Warrior spin offs since then though I never made a post for the first Warriors game because I didn’t get too far into it. Something about the game just did not hook me.

I actually had a similar issue with the first Zelda Warriors title. Something about the first LoZ and Fire Emblem Warriors titles do not draw me in. I almost started this by saying that the stories they offered were dull but I didn’t play them far enough to truly judge them on a subjective level.

In fact, it wasn’t until beating the main endings of 3 Hopes (with and without Byleth recruited) that I realized the issue. Focus.

More Focused Outings

Age of Calamity and 3 Hopes take an established, specific, entry in those series and expand it. This is what I needed since I am more interested in seeing what these specific groups do in new settings as opposed to making a new setting then throwing series legacies into it with time/space excuses.

I also think I gave this title more love than the others because 3 Houses was my first Fire Emblem. I have a greater investment in seeing what lives these kids live and what new interactions I will get.

Granted, I am still a little disappointed that this spin off was a warriors title. Even if unlikely I had hoped for a spin off similar to the base game, ie a tactical rpg. An alternative story to take Byleth through but that didn’t happen or even just the devs picking one route to flesh out.

Alas, this did not come to pass but speaking of story~

3 Hopes Story

Despite what I had hoped to get this game had a decent story. Shez offered a believable break in the timeline and I do think the way each route plays out from that break works.

Shez’s presence not only causes Byleth to miss their fated meeting with the house leaders but causes ‘Those who slither in the dark’ to be exposed far earlier due to Edelgard seizing that opportunity.

From there each leader has to rush home for events sparked by Edelgard’s actions as she forced the Agarthan’s to retaliate. The only leader that feels a bit weak in this regard is Claude.

I’m sure the Agarthans are the cause but it still feels random for an Almyran invasion to happen in this timeline when it didn’t in the base game. I only say that because I find it hard to believe that the Agarthans would have a means to spark such action when both they and the church of Seiros only care about Fodlan.

To the extent that the church’s doctrine pushes isolationism. Agartha itself only cares about revenge and leaving Fodlan in chaos as well. Oh well, it’s a minor issue at best since I do know they’re masters of infiltration and instigated incidents in Duscar and Sreng respectively.

I just find it hard to believe that someone as pathetic/desperate as Shahid would even need Agarthan prodding to invade I guess. If he invaded in 3 Hopes for vanity I see no reason he wouldn’t have in 3 Houses for similar.

Likewise, I highly doubt there’s any Agarthan that’d bother to infiltrate the Almyran upper class based on what I just listed.

More Story yet Less

I also do not wish to sound like I’m complaining. I do think the story was good. The whole point of this spin off was familiar cast in new situations and I enjoyed it for that reason.

However, I also can’t deny that 3 Hopes (like 3 Houses) suffered a little from splitting the story three ways.

Sure, on my first route (I chose Golden Deer) I enjoyed seeing Claude reshape the Alliance into a Federation. I liked the side mission that ended with Claude telling Judith the truth and I liked Nader’s bullsh*t excuses to keep tagging along whenever he could even if I found his presence unbelievable for most of them. (he fully broke my suspension for disbelief when he “borrowed” a navy lol)

I even liked seeing cast in situations they didn’t expect or didn’t want. Ignatz is a good example since he couldn’t follow his painter dream in this timeline.

Next I chose Edelgard and enjoyed routing the Agarthan’s early. I enjoyed Monica’s down bad lesbian antics and I even enjoyed watching Bernadetta’s father squirm in constant panic. (As Hubert said; it couldn’t have happened to a better man)

However, it was half way through Edelgard’s story that I noticed that the major story beats weren’t all that different.

The stories will have differences along the way or different endings but they do not truly diverge. For example, in Claude’s route he becomes a king and the alliance a federation.

Yet in Edelgard or Deimitri’s route the major actions Claude takes are the same. He’s just not a king in those timelines. It’s still an alliance but the major outcomes the nation takes do not differ.

House Glauster’s betrayal is always temporary, Arianrhod still swaps hands a few times, there’s always a distraction that forces the leaders to rush home, etc.

Hell, even the endings technically end on the same note whether you recruit Byleth or not. The war doesn’t end with only Claudes story ending on a possible note that they will.

Some characters will live or die based on you, and Rhea’s fate may vary, but the major plays are always the same and Fodlan stays locked in war in all endings.

It was only on Dimitri’s route that I realized the story is the same and what’s really changing is your perspective in that war. Whoever you side with as Shez gives you a front row seat and thus exposes you more to each nations dealings but the major events won’t shift.

Even recruiting Byleth only seemed to save one key support character each route. You’d get more supports and minor stuff but nothing world shaking.

The closest I got to a divergence was Edelgard being left mind-broken at the end of Dimitri’s route. In other routes Rhea and/or Thales always die, the war never ends with a clear victor.

And I admittedly found that disappointing. I had fun going through each story and seeing the personal shifts but I could not escape the feeling that I was just replaying the same story from different angles. I wish the house I picked at least won the war in their respective endings...

As for the Byleth aspect, I thought I’d complain more but it’s fine really. I hoped they’d impact change more and there’s even some routes that make more sense with them dead or alive.

But I just can’t bring myself to nitpick it because I enjoyed Byleth the most. I liked all the new interactions and situations the characters were in but Byleth was by far the best one.

They have an actual personality now. I genuinely can’t tell you how much I liked having Byleth speak, express stuff, try to human, or their supports with Jeralt.

Byleth

It was weird at first but good lord I wish this was the Byleth I got in 3 Houses. They still do not talk or emote on what you’d call a normal level but that is within the confines of their backstory.

Byleth is a plank by circumstance. What made it tolerable in 3 Hopes as opposed to 3 Houses is that they visibly try. They talk. They have likes, dislikes, etc.

The supports with Jeralt make it even more endearing as he elaborates on Sitri and how alike Byleth is to their mother. Both even remark on slight changes or being recruited to your army.

There’s even a paralogue where Jeralt, Byleth, Alois, Leonie, and Shez go on a mission and banter is made among them. Alois and Leonie mostly blow smoke up Jeralt’s ass but Byleth does chime in and all three agree how they’re akin to siblings due to Jeralt looking after them at some point.

I also enjoyed seeing Byleth talk to Sothis. They weren’t fully amicable nor hostile. Just them having shared voice lines was nice.

Of them all, I enjoyed Byleth talking to Shez the most. Their C support is hilarious!

Speaking of Shez~

Shez

As far as insert characters go I genuinely like Shez but I’d also argue they’re their own character. In fact, I’m glad that could be.

The insert characters seemed to grow weaker each title starting with Robin who had a semblance of a personality all the way to Byleth who flat out didn’t speak. I found this a shame, I won’t lie.

Sure, Corrin also had a personality but they’re so naive that I just can not place myself in their shoeless steps. This made Shez easy to play in the story. There may be a few optional dialogue prompts here and there but they act more like chances to increase support than anything else.

For the entire game Shez expresses their own personality, dialogue, and goals. Shez and Arval both are actual characters in my eyes and it made me wish for future leads to be their own character.

Hell, I finished my first route with Byleth recruited and wished that the Byleth I got in 3 Hopes was the Byleth I played in 3 Houses. I’ve repeated this desire once but that’s just how much I preferred the emotional stunted, but vocal, Byleth.

Fire Emblem truly should have actual characters as leads in my opinion.

Arval

All that praise said, I do have issue an with Shez’s role in the story and it boils down to Arval. I do not feel they properly explain what Arval is. Sure, I now know he’s a creations of Epimenides, an Agarthan. Arval’s desire to slay Byleth is rooted in that creation.

You even get hints that Shez was possibly implanted with Epimenides “core” at some point. My issue is that you learn little else beyond that. We get hints or comments about Shez’s adoptive mother and we can assume she’s Agarthan due to in-game dialogue but they never expand on these facts.

Did Shez’s mom implant Arval into Shez? Was Shez made into Epimenidies vessel only for their foster mother to disagree and runaway with Shez? Or was Shez and their adoptive mother some part of a long term plan Epimenidies himself created?

We do not know. All that we know is that Arval is Epimenidies method to escape death. We know that Shez’s biological family does not exist and we know that the woman who raised them was Agarthan or served them.

The very fact that the Agarthans themselves do not know what or who Shez is also raises flags. The only one to recognize Shez’s powers is Myson and even he doesn’t understand why Shez has them.

The two extra chapters you get when recruiting Byleth also answers very little. Epimenidies just...randomly appears? Decides he’s going to fulfill his goal and essentially hijacks Arval. Annoyingly, Arval doesn’t even resist it.

Then Shez and the house leaders get sucked into the darkness of Zaharas to battle Epimenidies, you win, and go home. It’s this random ass detour in the plot and doesn’t answer anything.

Shez, somehow, keeps the powers and everyone goes back to their war all hunky dory. The only one who remarks anything substantial from this is Byleth themselves. Having their own inner voice to fend off they at least offer kind words and forgiveness.

It all just feels so random and I felt like it obstructed the story flow with no reward. Even if they offered DLC later I don’t think it’ll fix this issue.

If anything, I wish Arval was a non-factor. Shez on their own would’ve been a fine way to split the story.

Did we even need Shez?

Is a question that my feelings on Arval kept instilling in me. I do not hate Shez, I hope I made that clear, but I do wonder if they were needed. They’re easily the best player insert in ages precisely because they have their own personality but I also felt their (and arvals) backstory weighed it down.

At times throwing the story off beat randomly.

I also have this bias of 3 Hopes Byleth. The Byleth 3 Hopes gave me was so welcome that I just wish Byleth was the lead of this spin off. I can’t help but imagine how fun it’d be to have this story and it’s three routes but with a Byleth that talks.

However, given that “fighting the Ashen Demon” was a draw of this spin off I also feel like this would only be a slightly better change.

Objectively, I finished my final route wondering why the house leaders themselves weren’t the leads of this spin off. It’s not like 3 Hopes needs a deep reason to branch it’s timeline. The house leaders just have to avoid meeting Byleth in Remire village.

There’s lots of ways to make this not happen. You could’ve still have Byleth as an enemy you could recruit as well since the Jeralt Mercenaries are hired by opposing armies several times.

I think I would have preferred this the most. Three routes in which I control the actual leaders of those routes. Seeing more of their backstories first hand, seeing their characters in new situations without their professor to guide them.

Most importantly, since the story is nearly identical in all three routes it would’ve made more sense to just be seeing each route from the leaders eyes. Shez works perfectly fine but if you’re going to do the same story from three perspectives I’d rather just be the central characters of those perspectives.

I wanna be Claude trying to change Fodlan, I wanna be Dimitri seeking the truth, I wanna be in Edelgards shoes as she plots her war. etc.

It’s weird since I like Shez but I earnestly think the story would’ve worked better to just have the house leaders as...well the leads of their routes. Or pluck out the Arval subplot and I think the story would’ve flowed fine with just Shez.

Still, as is, Shez and the story are fine. I think such ideas would improve it but my only objective gripe is the lack of diversity in the story or that said story doesn’t really end.

I did very much enjoy the new supports or situations these characters were in so I’ll end the story impressions here.

Game-play

As for game-play I feel that I can’t add much. I suck at Warrior games. I often play them on easy due to this. There’s just something about the panic that makes it hard for me to enjoy the game-play.

I literally can’t stand or resist minor panic when I’m doing one thing only for the game to scream at me that some objective on the opposite end of the map needs attention. I will rage quit if this objective is mission ending because I feel like I got blindsided.

I also find it difficult to manage the vast cast a Warrior title gives you. One reason I stopped Fire Emblem Warriors was due to the sheer number of characters, stats, and rpg elements it threw at me all at once.

Thankfully 3 Hopes takes some pity on me by restricting your roster to the route and those you recruit along the way. But even then I felt overwhelmed at first. I am not a man meant to micromanage or control large groups.

I also have to praise 3 Hopes for it’s classes since I could swap out a units class if I didn’t like the gameplay style. (I hated playing mage classes)

Then there was the three renown characters. You can buy them after finishing one run but I quickly abandoned them because they’re limited to your mission select.

You can’t buy Arval and take him through a story route meaning you can’t use the Training Center or Activities to increase his supports or class levels which disappointed me greatly.

I know they aren’t technically story canon but if I’m on NG+ and have unlocked them I want to use them. I simply do not have the patience to grind their supports and classes in mission replays.

This only hit me harder when I unlocked the Gatekeeper and seen that I could use him in any route. I was both happy and sad at the same time.

I hope they remedy that one day but who knows if this game will even get DLC. If it does get DLC I think it needs story related updates more urgently anyway.

Another thing I am of two minds on is the base. On the one hand, I like having a hub to walk around and talk to characters. On the other hand, it’s a real grind to get your base facilities all leveled and I was often drug back to base in the early game which irked me.

My only gripe with the 3 Houses hub was the calendar but 3 Hopes hub wore me down over my play-thoughs. Looking back I think it’s a game that would’ve benefited more from having a menu navigation similar to what Age of Calamity or FE Warriors 1 did.

Some tedium would remain but it would’ve been a bit more snappy. Perhaps it would’ve also been wise to not lock some base functions behind a leveling system.

I didn’t manage to unlock the effects of relics until the end of my first route which was sad in terms of mechanics and my own ability managing the facilities.

To be honest I feel like I should add more but, as stated, I suck at these titles and only play Easy so I don’t have a grander grasp to judge deep mechanics. At best I can say that I really like how 3 Hopes and Age of Calamity make the hallways of maps more narrow.

Trying to manage the vast expanses of FE and LoZ Warriors 1 added to my stress. So their successors having more narrow hallways helped. lol

Conclusion

I think it was a fun what if but I have trouble enjoying Warrior game-play. I wish the story was a bit more varied and while I like Shez I question the necessity.

In the end, there is one thing that I truly loved from the entire experience, and that was seeing Byleth be an actual person.

I wish I had a 3 Houses game or even another spin off with this Byleth. Let them be their own being. Let me see them slowly become more lively like how Jeralt said Sitri did.

At the very least, give this game another story route so that I can play this Byleth. Please, I am literally begging here!

P.S. My fave unit to use was Gatekeeper btw. Truly best boi!

P.S.S. Also the new designs for the Fodlan crew are so good, why didn’t Byleth get one!?

======================================================

Editors Note: This is part six of my trip through fire emblem. You’ll find the others here: Fiery Opinions <–(link)

[sheikahwarriork]

Even though Hopes was actually not very good compared to Houses; we gotta appreciate how it mixed up a lot of things and brought a breath of new life to the fandom and I am forever thankful for it even if the rest was not the best for many charcters, what do you think about it?

hi anon, thank you for the ask! oh boy where do i start-

first of all, you should know i LOVE musou games. i love smashing those buttons and defeating hundreds of eniemies. so, when they announced three hopes, i was THRILLED.

but maybe my expectations were a bit too high.

(spoilers about all the routes and endings)

i think the story is fine, but it could have been much better. i like shez, no, i love shez as a character: theyre silly but strong, determinated and yet loving. i like that theyre dubbed, i like their quirky and yet silly comments, i like how they flirt with some characters and yet are completely clueless, and the female VA did a WONDERFUL job. also, i simply ADORE arval. theyre so sassy i always laugh when arval says anything. the dynamic between shez and arval is written better than the one between byleth and sothis imo. (i love sothis too, but i feel her relationship with byleth needed more screentime)

but shez has a problem. (well, actually two.) the first problem is that shez isnt byleth. shez works well with the majority of the cast, but not with the three lords (a bit better with edelgard but still meh). shez's presence in the war doesnt make much sense as byleth's one did in three houses: the fucking school closed like two WEEKS after the lords met shez, they didnt have the time to bond and to know each others as byleth did (cuz, yk, byleth was their fucking teacher for a year). so, even if i like shez A LOT, their presence in fódlan war seems a bit off to me. i wish shez was in a different game overall.

the second, big problem of shez, is that we get to know almost nothing about their past. but this is a writing problem, not of the character themselves. i wanted to know who their mother was, why they are arval's vessel. RIP dlc i guess

about the three routes:

azure gleam: oh boy. OH BOY. the most disappointing of all. i LOVED the first part, for it explores much better all the kingdom's issues and we get more informations about the tragedy of duscur. but, "and then?". i'm gonna be honest dear anon: i dont remember much about the second part of azure gleam, just this big sense of disappointment. i'm actually re-playing it right now, so maybe i'll be back here in a few weeks. anyway, i do remember liking the fact you can save jeritza here tho, mercie deserves her little brother back!

scarlet blaze: the exact opposite of my thoughts about AG: scarlet blaze is a GREAT black eagles route. dont get me wrong, i liked crimson flower (its actually my second fav route of three houses), but being it the shortest one i always felt it was missing something, aka the fight against TWSITD (since, yk, we dont fight them in CF, they just defeat them offscreen in the ending cards. wtf). and in scarlet blaze we got it!!! also edelgard is better written in SB: shes still resolute and yet willing to *not* kill almost everyone on fódlan (i have Opinions about the ending of CF but another time). i never liked how edelgard sides with TWSITD in three houses, and im glad she didnt in SB. i mean, lets kill those bastards gurl!!!!!

golden wildfire: LMAO. ok i must admit i have a big problem: i dont like the golden deers (as a house; i like some of them alone, like marianne and lysithea), and claude is my least favourite lord, and i think verdant wind is the worst route of all three houses. so, GW was the last one i played. aaaaand. it is better than VW! i liked how claude allied with edelgard to defeat the church! i liked how claude is a little bastard plotter in there! as for AG, i think the first part of the route is much better than the second part (if you dont recruit byleth, judith dies in a dumb way just like rodrigue..... claude-routes-dont-copy-other-route's-things challenge). overall, i think GW is much better than VW, bc i think VW i just a weak copy of silver snow (sorry claude)

about the supports overall: some are cute and i like how we get supports between characters that didnt have ones in three houses, like bernadetta and marianne, or bernadetta and dimitri, or ashe and flayn.

and at last we've come to the elephant in the room.... byleth. how did they treat byleth in my opinion? short answer: terrible. long answer: terrible, because byleth doesnt have supports (except for shez and jeralt ikik). like WTF!!!!! give me supports with the lords, at least! let me see the byleth in this timeline, where they arent a professor, where their father isnt dead!!!! and why did they make byleth the ENEMY?? and we can recruit them too late in the game! GIVE ME MY PROFESSOR BACK-

the (one sided) rivalry between shez and byleth doesnt make any sense. "ohh the ashen demon killed my merc company >:[" says shez, just to admit five minutes later that they didnt really care about that company. and yes, okay, shez wants to prove everyone (themselves included) theyre stronger than byleth. thats fine. but here too, shez lets the matter drops too fast. "i will be stronger i will kill youuuuu- oh wait the lord wants you to join our side of the war. guess we're bestie now!". most of the time (before we actually recruit byleth) i get the feeling shez doesnt really give a fuck about the ashen demon, and this could have been okay, IF THEIR RIVALRY WASNT THE POINT OF ALL THE TRAILERS???????? their relationship is not explored well. shez's initial resentment doesnt make any sense bc THEY THEMSELVES say they really didnt care about the company. SO, if even the new protagonist, who was supposed to hate byleth, doesnt actually hate byleth, why make byleth the antagonist in the first place? why do we have to fight byleth? just to have a different fódlan story?¿?¿?

and i'll shut up about how they treated my dimileth in the game. you dont want to open this pandora's box dear anon.

so, the summary is: the gameplay is great bc i love musou games. the additions to the lore are pretty cool. i like that claude has his own original route that makes sense, and that edelgard got a much better written route. byleth deserved better. SHEZ! is fantastic, and arval is one of my fav character of all fódlan games. also i think arval and sothis should kiss

thank you anon for the ask, i enjoyed writing my thoughts on three hopes! hope i didnt bore you to death lmao

[ghostflowerdreams]

Audio dramas that you disliked and/or was disappointed by?

There's a few that I've been disappointed by, but disliked...I can only think of one at the moment and that was The Oyster.

I was fine at first, but then the more I listened to it the more I started to feel off. It was so depressing and hopeless that I needed to stop. This is definitely not for everyone, and even if you're in the right state of mind for it, it can deteriorate the longer you're listening to it.

That was what happened to me. I just couldn't stand it or the female lead, especially her actions, which was surprising because self harm or references to suicide has never been a trigger for me.

As for disappointed by...

The Harrowing. Stewart Scudamore, who voices The Stranger/Kai was fantastic and it was atmospheric, but everything else was just okay and the ending was meh.

Alice Isn't Dead. I loved the premise and the first season was great. But it started to go downhill, especially when she finds Alice or maybe it was when the second villain was introduce? Either way, I found it unsatisfying.

Parkdale Haunt. It was okay and I wasn't so much as disappointed by it, but frustrated with it instead. In particularly with Judith as she was targeted the most. Like...why aren't you being more active in protecting yourselves? It may not work, but at least try. Everything keeps happening to you and you let it.

Sometimes you're powerless (especially against something unnatural), but you don't buried your head in the sand and hope it'll all go away on its own. It won't. And I get it because that is a legit reaction to have, but the way it's done here and how long it took for them to do something was so annoying.

Mockery Manor. I liked it, but after a while I found JJ to be unlikable and annoying. Everything else about it was simply fine though.

The White Vault. Is just okay. I tried listening to this years ago, but I guess at the time I wasn't in the mood for it. It took me a few episodes to get into it, probably because there's a couple of things about it that bugged me.

Peter Joseph Lewis' character Graham Casner manner of speaking can be distracting. The slow and odd pauses in between words made me think of William Shatner’s Captain Kirk, a bit of Keanu Reeves and Clint Eastwood too. I either got use to it or he got better later on.

The immersive also breaks because of the apathetic-sounding narrator. And I kept being throw off with the languages switch in the beginning too. I get it and I found it believable when the characters curse and fall back into their mother tongue in their panic and anger, but it does get annoying when it's thrown in randomly and very often. Feels too much like when I was a 14 year old throwing in Japanese into my fanfiction because I was excited to know a word or a phrase and wanted to show it off.

[eddiemunsonssoulmate]

I shipped Beth and Daryl too. It would have been beautiful if it had happened! I think she would have brought some peace and calm thing so good to him and God, he would have been absolutely EVERYTHING to her. Oh, now I'm angry. I NEVER take it well when I see great opportunities in writing and in shows and they just THROW AWAY, WHO DOES IT.

Daryl was always my favorite, I think? But Glenn had that whole good boy thing that sometimes wins me over. And what hurt me the most was that he died as a result of something I don't think he wanted to do, you know? And I'm kind of completely silly for people being happy, having their families, having their kids and THAT'S BEEN TAKEN AWAY. But... nowadays when I think of Negan, I remember him with Judith and well, I see that I didn't get to meet him. I always say that whoever arrives and tells the story first, has the advantage. If we met Negan first, who would the villains be? So I break down, with my own argument when I want to get pissed off at someone doing something. Of course, I don't always think that, in some cases I'm like: You suffered less than you should. But I know that wasn't the case with Negan, so I want to go back and see everything, to reconnect with the things I liked, but it's going to end up pissing me off more than it should because I got pissed off remembering Beth and the wasted potential.

Did you read the comics? Because I haven't read it, but I know a lot about it and sometimes I just get a little annoyed that they haven't followed through more closely, you know? Speaking of whether I liked Negan or not I remembered Shane and how sad I was because I liked him and God, imagine him and Negan? It would have been the hellishly wonderful.

The sibling duo would have been amazing. I know that if they were 100% for the comics, Daryl wouldn't even exist, but... I don't know, maybe it's easy to say that looking at the work from the outside, but there were better changes to be made. I just started to get more and more disappointed with the choices they made and before that I only trusted what the show was going to bring me. Even though Shane's death was something that happened super early in relation to everything we're talking about here, I was still confident. BUT look at what you got to trust. hahahaha

"and end it on a good note (unlike some other shows.)" (looking at you, The Walking Dead) Sorry but I had to do this hahahaha

And yes, Snowpiecer is a screamworthy show. I just want to know what my dad is going to get invested in now and if I'm going to dive into it with him. Wilford gave me a really bad feeling, his whole relationship with those traumatized people, I just felt sick.

Because it's clearly something that I don't want and that I genuinely avoid, any approach to someone who has traumatized me. So every time I saw him interacting with people I was just like: Oh my god, no, here we go with this shit going on.

I'll die on my Beth and Daryl hill no matter what.

Daryl has always been my #1 too. And sure, the villain is always the hero of their own story, that's why it's so interesting to see :D

I did read the comics yes, that's why I'm especially annoyed at some changes they made like with Carl. I never liked Shane tho so I'm good with that hahaha.

Wilford is a fucking psychopath but that makes him such a great villain. I hate him with every fiber in my body lmao.

[shimmershae]

The more I think about it, the more “Find Me” feels like an echo of “Ghosts.”

Allow me to explain.  In probably the most rambling and incoherent way possible, lol.  My earlier post on Twitter about Season 10 being an exercise in grief and longing really got me to thinking.  Not just thinking.  Ruminating.  

Anywho.  

Posting the rest of this beneath a cut because nobody asked for this (I swear I haven’t imbibed or ingested any illegal substances).  

It doesn’t take long for Carol to be established as an unreliable narrator in “Ghosts.”  At first it isn’t completely obvious because there’s just enough fact in the fiction that Carol’s triggered brain stirs up.  Daryl’s there and he’s concerned about her.  He’s supportive.  Both things he’d been before, especially since Henry’s death, but there are just enough elements in those chemically and grief induced hallucinations of hers that make you go--oh wait a minute.  Like she’s having a break from reality but she’s desperately grasping for that which grounds her and that’s Daryl.  

Am I making any sense here?  I feel like I’m not.  

Let me approach this from another angle.  

Following the airing of “Find Me” various people mentioned that Daryl, similarly to Carol in “Ghosts” wasn’t exactly the most reliable narrator.  That things weren’t necessarily as they seemed.  The word toxic was bandied about but other than Leah giving Daryl an ultimatum to choose her over his family and Daryl dwelling in deep, longstanding depression?  There wasn’t much else overtly deserving of that moniker. 

Argh.  I’m still not explaining myself well.  Let me just jump right in the deep end of probable delusion here.  Sometimes it’s fun to splash around, lol.   

Wouldn’t it be wild—sad AF but still wild—if Leah was already dead when Daryl met her?  

Bear with me here.   

Like Carol in “Ghosts” Daryl is obviously struggling.  He’s grief-stricken.  His brother is lost to him and after he betrayed him no less.  His close friend is mired in her own grief--she’s just lost her mate, probably recently discovered she was carrying RJ, and it wasn’t too long before that they had all lost Carl.  And that’s not even considering Carol, who’s allowed herself to be pulled away, lured by the tantalizing chance of doing things right this time.  Of rearing a child capable of surviving in the harsh world they live in.  Another thing to remember is Daryl is not that far removed from his torture at Negan’s hands.  So he’s more fragile than he’d willingly admit to anyone.  

He’s searching the woods for a man that isn’t there.  Now he’s no more aware that Rick was taken than the rest of Team Family, but he’s unwilling to give up hope and so he searches and because Rick’s not there and hasn’t been since shortly after that bridge blew up, Daryl’s doomed to always come up empty.  To always feel disappointment.  To never have his grief assuaged because as long as there’s no body in the form of a Walker, there’s still hope.  Or plausible denial.  Take your pick.  

He’s tireless in his search.  He’s methodical.  He plots out the places he’s already scoured on a hand-drawn map.  A map that just so happens to get ruined by an awful storm and Daryl seems to reach his breaking point, screaming out into the roar of that storm.  Walking through the barrage, the harsh rain and the violent lightning, unconcerned for his safety.  

Dude has a bit of a mental break.  He’s undeniably emotional.  

It’s not long after that he stumbles upon Dog.  Or, more aptly, Dog stumbles upon him.  

That puppy immediately lightens Daryl’s heavy heart and helping it find its way home gives him purpose.  He’s a tracker after all.  He could have easily traced Dog’s steps back to that cabin.  

Funny that Dog was always coming to him.  That he was roaming free in woods that were full of hidden dangers.  

I don’t know about the rest of ya’ll but that cabin looked abandoned when Daryl first discovered it.  Maybe not long abandoned, but it didn’t look inhabited by the living. And that’s the weird thing.  How did that Walker get into the cabin?  Did Leah just leave the door wide open for it?  Did she also leave the door wide open for Dog to escape?  Why was he always such an unaccompanied furry minor? 

The thoughts swirling around in my brain, lovelies.  They’re going to force me to go back and watch that fucking episode again aren’t they?

My point is that Dog essentially leads Daryl to the cabin. The Walker’s inside and then he stumbles upon Leah, who bursts onto the scene like she wants to be Sarah Connor or something. Daryl ends up in restraints and Leah questions him and ultimately lets him go and WTF, lovelies.  Who does that in the ZA?  As a woman all alone in a cabin miles from anybody else, in the company of a man she doesn’t know from Adam?  If ever there’s a time to have stranger danger...

Right from the start, this chick doesn’t really add up.

So Daryl leaves the cabin.  He resumes his search for Rick and he seems to give very little thought to this Leah or the cabin.  Until Dog finds him again.  

Strange isn’t it that he keeps stumbling back in her path around the times that Carol visits, when she draws further and further from his reach and closer to the fairytale he thinks she’s living at the Kingdom?  

Did Daryl ever go to that cabin without following Dog? I can’t remember.  The episode was beautifully shot but ultimately too painful to rewatch for my Caryl loving heart.  

Anywho.  

When Daryl and Carol come upon that cabin in the woods, Daryl’s flashbacks begin.  They’re hazy around the edges and not as clearly defined as the moments he spends with Carol.  Speaking of the moments he spends with Carol, how coincidinky that so many of them echo his moments with Leah?  Or do we have it all backwards?  Hmm?  

Things are so convoluted sometimes on this fucking show it leads one to question their sanity.  

Let me ramble out a few wild thoughts for you lovelies again and you tell me if I’ve completely lost it, lol.  

What if Dog was simply an orphaned, abandoned Dog that found Daryl in the woods?

What if Daryl followed the trail Dog had traveled in reverse and stumbled upon the cabin?  

What if the cabin was abandoned because Leah was already dead?  What if she’d taken her own life?  What if Daryl saw the cross/grave outside and the picture inside and his grief-stricken brain conjured up a whole tragic story for this woman, this Walker roaming around inside this house, and she became his coping mechanism?  You know.  Kind of like Rick did Lori when he had his own break with reality.  They’ve all suffered so much, lovelies.  They’ve all got PTSD.  It’s just manifesting in different ways.  

I mean, all of this would fit the label of sad that NR and others have given this little tale.  It would even fit toxic because Daryl let grief and loneliness swallow him for a while.  

As Carol pulls farther away from him, Leah just keeps popping up more and more.  

Daryl essentially loses himself in his own fairy tale only it’s a nightmare painted in soft colors and Leah asking him to choose is basically his own psyche saying to him “do you wanna live here in this fantasy land and numb your pain or do you want to relive the awful reality of Rick being lost and Carol slowly fading from your life day by day?”  And at first he’s like, you can’t make me make that choice because Daryl doesn’t want to give up hope, no matter how futile it seems.  But then Carol makes what she tells him might be her final visit for a while and anger leads Daryl right back to that fucking cabin and oblivion.  Back to the solitude of his tortured thoughts.  

That note, lovelies.  It felt like by choosing Leah he was choosing a lifetime of being alone more than it did him choosing the hope of a new love.  That “find me” for all the world felt like he was willing hope to find him again.  Hope in the form of love in the form of Carol.  

Listen.  I never said this would make sense, lol.  

When Daryl gets back to that cabin, Leah is gone.  Her picture is gone. 

Truly it felt like she’d never been there.  

Even more so when you consider how run down the cabin looks in present day when Daryl and Carol seek shelter in it.  

I can’t help it.  Some small part of me?  Well, it thinks that Daryl told Carol about Leah (whether she existed or not) as a way to both make her feel better than he wasn’t out there in those woods completely alone and to maybe move the needle a little bit on the nature of their own relationship.  Both in the past and present day.  

And while he and Carol are struggling through the ever-shifting nature of their feelings for each other, Daryl has climbed out of his own darkness and found hope again in Judith and RJ.  In the family he’s embraced again. In the communities.  And he’s angry and unsettled because he wants the same for Carol but she doesn’t seem to want that for herself.  

He still wants her to find hope.  

He still wants her to find him.  

He still wants her to find love and peace.  

Help me, lovelies.  These two have broken me, lol.  I promise.  I’m stone cold sober.  A little, okay a lot, tired.  

Wouldn’t it be wild, though?  If Leah really wasn’t what she seemed?  If she were a figment of a broken, lonely man’s tortured imagination?  

Undeniably sad AF but wild all the same.  

[judediangelo75]

Kiss the Girl, Winger

Inspiration strikes yet again, thanks to Disney! Lol, if you don’t know “Kiss the Girl”, allow me to help.

-Disney movie version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrRbB-qUJfY

-Ashley Tisdale version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68-xSRHgxy0

I’m literally winging this so bear with me.

MC friend: David Willows ( @that-scouse-wizard ) (David is basically Judith’s best friend at this point, expect to see him OFTEN lol)

-----------------------

Talbott has no bloody idea how he got dragged into this situation.

But yet here he was.

Sitting with David and Diego on the Training Grounds. He was originally hanging out with David, training.

Judith and David had taken upon themselves to train their partners, especially since they were the main ones going into a dangerous profession. 

Diego came to do some training himself and now they were taking a “break”.

By “break”, Talbott means talking about relationships and such. Talbott did his best not to look too uncomfortable, but it wasn’t working. 

“I take that your relationships are going well,” Diego asked with an easygoing smile. Diego was too much of a “go with the flow” type of guy. Talbott can’t see him settling down with any one any time soon.

“Of course! I’m with the Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts, what more can a lad ask for,” David chuckled. Diego turned his gaze to Talbott, waiting for a response.

Talbott gave a simple nod.

“You sure there’s no lass that’s caught your eye, Caplan,” David asked. Diego let out a boasting laugh.

“Afraid not, friend. Diego Caplan isn’t so easy to be tied down. It’s fun to flirt and kiss any beautiful witch I want with no strings attached. Sample every flavor there is,” Diego smirked. David rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you say, Diego. Being intimate with single person is pretty damn special in my opinion. There’s something indescribable whenever I kiss Mer. Doesn’t help she tastes sweet too. C’mon Talbott back me up here,” David argued. 

Talbott felt his face flush out of embarrassment and looked away. David and Diego glanced at each other before looking toward the silent Ravenclaw.

“Tal, you good there mate,” David asked. Diego tried to lighten the mood.

“Surely Judith isn’t a bad kisser, is she?” David sent a small glare at the Hufflepuff duelist.

Talbott mumbled something under his breath.

“Come again, friend,” Diego said. Talbott fidgeted before sighing.

“I never kissed Judith before.”

Silence.

“How?!” David and Diego exclaimed. 

“You two have been together for quite awhile now. Longer than David and Merula. How haven’t you kissed her,” Diego asked.

“Exactly! Judith has to be one of the most affectionate witches I know. And she’s head over heels in love you. How,” David stressed. The stoic Ravenclaw crossed his arms over his chest, face flushed red.

“I just never kissed her before...” Talbott wasn’t going to admit that he was too shy to do so.

David wasn’t wrong, Judith was indeed affectionate. It felt strange to be showered with attention and affection, but Talbott wasn’t complaining. He found it sweet.

And Judith did try to kiss him once. 

He ended up jerking away out of reflex and confusion. He could still remember the slight hurt reflecting in her gold eyes before she offered a shy smile and an apology.

She never tried again afterwards. And he cursed himself for it.

Because it wasn’t like he didn’t want to kiss her. Gods know how bloody curious he was to know what’s it like.

How her full lips will feel against his.

What flavor chapstick she uses.

How it will feel melting against her as he allows himself indulge in the intimate act.

Will there be sparks?

Will it feel like his heart will race out of his chest?

Would he crave for more once they pull away?

So many thoughts invade his mind whenever he catches himself looking at his girlfriend’s lips.

Don’t get him started if she was wearing her signature deep red lipstick-

“TALBOTT!” Talbott was thrusted out of his thoughts and turned his attention back on the two Hufflepuff wizards sitting next to him.

“You guys said something,” he asked. David pinched the bridge of his nose and Diego shook his head.

“Kiss the girl, Winger,” they both demanded. Talbott blushed and glared.

“Before you say how we have no right orderin’ you around, while you are right, we can tell you want to. You were bitin’ your lip and scrunchin’ your brows as if you were imaging it. While all power to you, I much rather you not fantasize about my sister in my presence,” David said. 

“As if you don’t kiss Merula whenever Judith and I are around,” Talbott huffed.

“Don’t change the subject! You want that experience. Just go for it,” David argued.

“Besides it’s not like she doesn’t know how to kiss. Andre was her first-OW!” David smacked Diego hard. He noticed the uncertainty that flashed in the Ravenclaw’s red eyes.

David knew Talbott was a bit insecure about himself, even though Judith had the biggest crush on him ever since they first met. He was there when Judith admitted that she fancied him when they were learning the Memory Charm with Professor Flitwick. 

Judith may thought Andre was handsome, but she would never see him more than a friend.

Talbott had trouble believing that at the beginning. 

Any mention of Andre and Judith in the same sentence would make him shut down.

And Diego was certainly not helping.

“Talbott, you know full damn well Judith only see Andre as a friend. Tonks was my first kiss and we’re just friends. If she really liked him, she would be with him. But she’s not. She’s with you, and literally sees no one else,” David said, staring the silent Ravenclaw dead in his eyes. 

Talbott let out a shaky breath.

“You’re right... I just don’t want to disappoint her...” Diego snorted, earning a glare from both boys.

“Talbott, my friend. Are we talking about the same Judith? She values everything you do. You don’t have to do much to make her smile. I highly doubt you can disappoint her,” Diego said, watching their glares lessen.

Talbott coughed, trying to ignore the warmth in his cheeks.

“You two make fair points,” he mumbled. David smirked.

“So kiss the girl, Winger...”

----------------------

“This is a lovely day for a date, Talbott,” Judith chuckled as they walked along the shore of the Black Lake. 

It was late in the afternoon, the sun was setting along the horizon. Talbott had taken them out to Hogsmeade, revisiting their first date spot. Madam Puddifoot had giggled seeing the pair again, serving them some cake and tea.

Lucky for him, conversation came easier this time around and there was no one there to crash their date. Talbott always enjoyed the sight of his little bird smiling sweetly at him.

Afterwards, they flew back to Hogwarts. Well, not before a few games of tag and chase along the way. 

Eventually they reached their current destination, waling along the shore while holding hands.

They sat in comfortable silence on the boardwalk on the Boathouse, overlooking the water. Talbott kept stealing glances at his serene girlfriend, whose eyes were closed.

Her hair was mostly down, the sides being pulled back to reveal her face. Her face was makeup free, revealing her natural beauty. 

Judith’s attire was rather simple. A short yellow dress with white flowers and white sandals. Her accessories were small gold hoop earrings and the key necklace he gifted her on Valentine’s Day.

‘Dear Gods, she’s so perfect that it hurts...’ he thought, drinking in the sight of the Hufflepuff witch being bathed in the sun’s loving warmth. A breeze gently pasted them, the sweet scent of coconuts and cocoa butter greeted the young’s wizard’s nose.

He felt dizzy with delight as he scoot closer to her. He knew he could have anything he could want from the Hufflepuff witch. His gaze fell to her full lips and he bit his lip.

“You’re staring...” Talbott flinched at the sudden sound of her voice. Gold eyes slowly opened, locking with his red ones.

“Something on your mind, my love,” Judith asked, delicately running her fingertips along the line of his sharp jawline. Talbott shivered at the barely there touch, leaning into it for a more solid sensation.

“Um...” Talbott felt the familiar sense of panic starting to creep into his mind. His heart began to race as he felt his palms turn a bit clammy. 

Can he really do this? 

Judith frowned at this, cupping his face in her hands so he can look at her.

“Hey, hey... it’s okay, Talbott. Talk to me,” she whispered. Her breath fanned over his lips, causing his heart to lurch in his chest. He can smell the faint sweetness of the cake she had earlier at the tea shop.

“I... I-I... I want to kiss you... Is that alright,” Talbott whispered breathlessly. He mentally slapped his forehead.

‘What the HELL was that, Winger?! Most wizards would’ve just went for it! Even those who do ask would’ve been much more smoother than that! Bloody hell, can the Giant Squid just grab me and pull me below. Ugh, this is so bloody-”

“Of course you can, Talbott.” Talbott was abrupted pulled out his self-berating thoughts at the simple sentence. Judith did her best not to giggle at the surprised and slightly lost expression on her boyfriend’s face.

“A-are you serious,” he asked, still feeling slightly panicked. Judith leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his cheek, which helped calm him a bit.

“Of course, bird boy. I was waiting for you to ask or make a move for awhile now,” she said.

“B-but I never kissed anyone before,” he blurted out. Judith’s eyebrows furrowed at this.

“I’m failing to see how that’s a problem...” Talbott sighed and looked away, feeling his face burn.

“I don’t want to disappoint you if I’m not good enough. I know this isn’t your first. Andre had that privilege,” he mumbled. Judith turned his head back so she can meet his gaze.

“Hey... just because this isn’t my first doesn’t mean this wouldn’t be special to me. And to be honest... I didn’t feel much from that kiss. You’re the only one I really imagined doing this with,” Judith whispered. Talbott slowly relaxed at her admission, wrapping his arms around her waist to bring her closer.

“I love you, little bird,” he said softly, angling his head so he wouldn’t bump into her nose. Judith giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, mimicking his actions.

“I love you too, bird boy... kiss me, please...”

Talbott couldn’t ignore that soft request even if he tried.

He allowed himself to lean the rest of way.

He kept the contact light, testing the waters. Barely there brushes that teased him more than he expected.

These went on for a few fleeting moments until one of them decided they wanted more. Lips gently parted and locked, seeking a sweeter taste.

The taste of vanilla and cake registered in his mind, causing Talbott leaned in more for the delicious combination.

Talbott sighed through his nose.

If he knew kissing his girlfriend meant being sent to heaven, he would’ve let Judith kiss him that day.

Her lips were just as soft as they looked. Plush and warm against his own.

The taste of her vanilla chapstick had him craving for more.

He never felt more at peace, giving into his little bird and this enchanting kiss. 

He never wanted this to-

Her lips were gone.

A soft whine escaped the back of his throat as he blindly chased after her. A soft laugh snapped out of it as he opened his eyes to find the teasing glint in those gold eyes.

“That good huh,” Judith chuckled. Talbott grumbled, looking away. Judith outright laughed at her boyfriend’s disgruntled state.

“I’m just teasing... come here,” she giggled, pressing another kiss to his lips. Talbott perked up a bit, squeezing her closer.

He could get used to this...

[walkerwords]

“The Savior Sessions” Part 17 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: Following the fallout of their argument, the reader is still trying to deal with their thoughts about Negan. Meanwhile, Daryl, Connie, Lydia, and Henry arrive at Alexandria. With everything going on and the fair only a day away, there are decisions to be made.

Word Count: 4372

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “First” by Cold War Kids

Note: Another filler before our big part which is up next...I am putting all the fair stuff in one part and I MEAN EVERYTHING. Part 19 will be the blizzard so Part 18 is going to be A LOT. *ALL ASL IN ITALICS*

---------

Something felt different when you woke up. 

Your mother always used to say that people could feel it in the air when something was to come. You never put much stock in her ramblings, but that particular quote was sticking in your mind as you sat up in your bed.

Sunlight was streaming in through the window and you could hear the faint sounds of Alexandrians starting their days. The nightmares had been worse than usual during the night before and after waking up for the second time, you had to nearly restrain yourself from venturing out of your house and towards another. 

The fact that Negan was the first person you thought of when fear entered your body made you feel even more confused. You were still furious with him, that much was clearly evident, but he was still there in the back of your mind. He was in your dreams, your everyday thoughts, and while you should have been focusing on Alpha and Daryl’s rescue plan, Negan was all you could think about. 

After getting ready for the day, you strapped on Paul’s sword and headed from your home and towards the meeting hall. It still felt odd to consider the sword yours even though Aaron had given it to you personally. You began to wonder if imposter syndrome extended towards melee weapons. 

Walking down the main road, you saw Judith with her brother heading towards the makeshift graveyard. You knew where she was going and you also knew that Judith loved to tell stories she heard from her mom about Carl. While Judith didn’t have many memories of her big brother, she could still remember what it felt like to be carried by him and how he cared for her. Carl had been there since the beginning to look after her and now it was Judith’s turn to do so for RJ.

Your gaze lingered on them for a bit before your eyes caught a commotion at the main gate. You could see Michonne standing on the watch post, looking down. With a furrowed brow, you began to walk forward when a movement out of the corner of your eye caught your attention. 

Stopping in front of the Grimes’ house, you looked to see Negan leaning against the bars of his window. He looked at you with those same beautiful hazel eyes and determined set of his jaw. You stared back, remembering the last conversation you had had with the man. Negan had nearly begged you for forgiveness and you weren’t sure if you were actually willing to give it. At least, not yet. He went to say something when the gate slid open up ahead. Looking back, you were stunned at what you saw. 

Daryl, Lydia, Connie, and to your ultimate surprise, Henry, were walking towards you. Dog trotted in front of his master, his tail up as he noticed you. When they got closer, you finally saw the state that your friend was in.

“Daryl?” you asked, shocked to see blood, Living blood, on his face and clothes. “What the hell happened to you?” you asked as you left Negan behind and ran up to him. 

“Kids need some food,” was all Daryl said. You then noticed that Henry was limping.

“They also need medical attention,” you said and then waved down Siddiq who was walking alongside Rosita. “Come on,” you said and then reached for Lydia who was shaking slightly. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, but you just shook your head. 

“Not your fault, kid,” you said, brushing the hair from her face. “Let’s get you looked at.” 

As Siddiq took a look at Henry and Lydia, Laura stood watch at Michonne’s request. You stood on the porch of the infirmary with Daryl, Michonne, and Connie. While your signing was still a bit rough, you could get by well enough for the time being. You had taught Deaf students when you were a teacher and you found that your knowledge of the language was slowly coming back to you. 

“Are you hurt?” you asked Connie. She shook her head and then made the “D” letter with her right hand and dragged it over her eye. You then realized that was the Name Sign she had given to Daryl, most likely due to his scar. You thought it was fitting. 

Connie was telling you that Daryl was hurt, but you knew that he wouldn’t even let you clean his wounds until he knew the kids were okay. 

“Someone wanna tell me what happened?” you asked as you leaned against the side of the house, your ankles crossed. 

“Beta happened,” Daryl said as he matched your position on the other side. 

“Alpha’s man,” Connie signed and you translated for Michonne and Laura, who was listening in the doorway. 

“So, it’s not just Alpha we have to worry about? Great,” you said with a deep sigh. 

“Asshole is massive,” Daryl said. “Threw me around like I was nothin’ and didn’t hesitate at all to try and kill us. Lydia says he’s the best fighter they got.” 

“Fantastic,” you groaned. 

“He’s the one that captured Henry,” Daryl explained. 

“Which brings me to my question,” Michonne said. “Why the hell was Carol’s son out there in the first place?”

“He went after her, didn’t he? After we traded her for Alden and Luke?” you asked and Daryl nodded. 

“Takes after his damn mother,” Daryl muttered, but you could hear a bit of admiration in his tone. Which was how he usually sounded when he spoke about Carol. 

“How’d you get her back?”

“Got into their camp,” Daryl said. “There’s a lot more of these assholes than we thought. We couldn’t see all of ‘em, but there are enough to make me nervous.” 

“You being nervous, makes me nervous,” you said pushing off the wall.

“Where’s he now?” Michonne asked. “Beta?”

“Threw his giant ass down an elevator shaft,” Daryl said. 

“So, he’s dead?” Daryl looked between you, Connie, and Michonne and you could see the fatigue weighing on him and also, the anger.

“For all our sakes,” he said. “He better be.”

------

Once the Doc had cleared both Lydia and Henry, you invited the teenagers as well as Connie and Daryl to stay in your house for the time being.

You knew that Daryl wanted to keep moving in case Alpha had sent out more scouts, but you also knew that they needed to take a breather, even if it was just until nightfall.

You could hear Connie sitting and playing with Dog outside while Daryl spoke with Henry. You knew how important Henry was to Carol and because of that, Daryl would do anything to protect the kid. 

However, right now, he seemed to be taking on the role of disappointed uncle. He was using his “parent voice” as you liked to call it. He used to use it a lot with Carl and then when Judith would cause trouble years before. Beth once joked that he had become the father of the group. Daryl had just rolled his eyes, but you knew that meant a lot to him. It told him that all of you, even Rick, relied on him. 

Lydia was sitting in the living room when you found her. Sitting next to her on the couch, you tried to see the resemblance between her and her mother. It was there slightly, but only in looks. You couldn’t see the hatred that you saw in Alpha. However, you did see a small bit of resilience and that only told you how much she had to adapt to live within the Dead. 

“I’m sorry,” you began. Lydia looked at you in confusion. “I said a lot of horrible things to you when we had you locked up. I made assumptions and it was unfair.”

“I didn’t really give you much of a chance to trust me,” Lydia said, turning her attention back to her hands in her lap. 

“Then I guess we both need fresh starts,” you said and then offered her your hand. “Hi, I’m (Y/N).” Lydia hesitantly took your hand and gave you a small smile. 

“I’m Lydia,” she said and you smiled at her. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Lydia.” When you dropped her hand, she glanced back towards where Daryl and Henry were. 

“I’m sorry about your friend,” Lydia said, talking about Jesus. “And because my mom took your other friends.”

“We got them back,” you reminded her. “I just wish we could have gotten them back without throwing you back to the wolves.”

“Yeah, then maybe Henry wouldn’t have gone after me and gotten hurt,” she said sadly. 

“Maybe not, but Henry is as stubborn as his mother and as loyal as his father. Trust me when I say that he doesn’t need an excuse to make dumbass decisions.”

“What’s his mom like?” Lydia asked and you paused, trying to figure out how to put Carol into words. 

“I’ve known his mom for a very long time. Actually since the beginning of all this,” you began. “Carol has been through a lot and she has lost a lot of people to get to the place she is right now. She has lost children, especially. Carol isn’t a person whom you need to be afraid of if you have good intentions.”

“And if you have bad intentions?” Lydia asked carefully.

“Let’s just say that when she wants to be, Carol can be even more terrifying than your mother. The difference is, is that Carol’s rage and her skills come from love and the need to protect her family.”

“You don’t think my mom is like that?” 

“I don’t know your mother,” you admitted. “Though I have known people like her and if I had to guess what she values most, I would say it’s power and survival. Alpha seems to be the person who would sacrifice her young to protect the pack and that is why I don’t want you to go back to her.”

“You don’t even know me,” Lydia said. “You only know what you’ve seen.”

“ ‘To perceive is to suffer’,” you quoted with a smile. Lydia’s brow furrowed. “Aristotle said that,” you explained. 

“Who?” 

“I’ll tell you about them later. Point is,” you said, taking her hand, “I only saw what I wanted to see because I thought that suffering was better than trying to see your side of everything.”

“So, what does this mean?” Lydia asked. 

“It means that I am not going to let anything happen to you. Especially at the hands of your mother.”

----------

Later that day, Michonne found you. 

Daryl was inside with the others when she came walking towards your house. She gestured you down off the porch as she got closer. “What’s up?” you asked as you approached. 

“We’re doin’ the fair,” Michonne explained. 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Michonne nodded and then let out a heavy sigh. 

“Henry said that The Kingdom is failing. They need this. Judith recently reminded me that we need each other and that we need to start thinking about the others again.”

“Wise girl,” you complimented and she smiled.

“Just like her dad,” Michonne said. 

“Michonne, I want to help Kingdom, you know I do. I would do anything to help Carol and Ezekiel, but what if Alpha finds out that we have her kid? What then? Not to mention that Daryl attacked Beta and we don’t even know if he’s alive or not.”

“We’ll deal with it, just as we’ve dealt with everything else.”

“We’ve never seen anything like this before and you know it.”

“We can’t ignore them anymore, our friends,” she explained. “I know this is going to be rough, but we’ve won wars before.”

“So you do think this is going to end in a fight, then?” 

“It always does, (Y/N),” Michonne said. 

“I know you don’t trust her, Lydia, I mean,” you said. 

“You’re right, I don’t,” she said. 

“There is a lot of shit goin’ on right now, but we have to protect her just like we once protected Enid when she had nobody.”

“Enid isn’t the daughter of a killer,” Michonne reminded you. 

“No, she’s not, but she could have gone down a different path. Just because she found Alexandria, that doesn’t mean that she couldn’t have turned for the worse. If it wasn’t for Maggie and… and Carl, who knows what would have happened to her.” Michonne was quiet for a moment. 

“You’re saying that Henry is Lydia’s Carl?” 

“I’m saying that she’s a scared kid who needs everyone in her corner to keep her safe and help her make the right decision.”

“And that’s gonna be you?” 

“I’m gonna damn well try to be.”

---------

It was night when Daryl and the others were getting ready to leave. 

You met them at the gate as Connie helped Henry balance on his staff, trying to get a rhythm going for their travels. You figured they were going to be headed to Kingdom, but you didn’t know where Daryl would be going after that. Lydia stood by, watching the duo with a smile. 

When Daryl noticed you standing off to the side, he joined you. “We didn’t get a chance to talk. Not really,” he said. 

“There will be other times,” you said with a bump to his shoulder. 

“Judith talked to me,” he said.

“Yeah?” you asked, avoiding the look he was giving you. 

“You should know that she hears a lot more than ya think.”

“Meaning she heard the argument Negan and I had,” you realized. Daryl grunted in agreement. “Just great.”

“She’s worried about ya, thinks you’re not gonna forgive him,” Daryl said. 

“Judith should mind her own business,” you muttered.

“Are ya? Going to forgive him?”

“What would be the point? The situation is gonna still be the same. Negan is gonna be locked up and I’ll be out trying to fight another battle that we shouldn’t be in in the first place.”

“Self-pity don’t look good on ya,” Daryl said.

“That’s not—”

“Ya, it is,” he interrupted. “I already told ya my thoughts on you and him. I still stand by them, but ya gotta start usin’ your brain, Kid.” You smiled at the nickname. It was something he had called you when you first met, even though you were around the same age as Maggie.  

“I thought the heart was supposed to make these kinds of decisions?” 

“Nah, ya gotta use both. Don’t believe that poetic bullshit.” 

“Are you sure you weren’t a motivational speaker before all this?” you joked. 

“Not unless ya count me yellin’ at Merle to get his shit together when the son of a bitch was high and chasin’ birds through the streets.” 

“I do,” you decided. Daryl snorted but stayed quiet. “You’re leavin’ with Lydia after you get Henry home, aren’t you?”

“It’s for the best,” he said. 

“Is it?” 

“People don’t trust her,” Daryl said. 

“That’s not her fault.” 

“No, it ain’t,” he said, “but I’m not about to leave her vulnerable to people who don’t want her around. Maybe removing Lydia from the equation will make Alpha leave everyone else alone.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” you sighed. 

“I gotta try.”

“I know,” you said and then leaned into him. He put his arm around and you savored the small moment. “Please be careful.” 

“I will,” he said and then he pushed back to see your face. “Come with me.”

“What?”

“I know ya have been lost for a while. Judith mentioned you isolate yourself. Maybe you just need a break.”

“What happened to me needing to figure out my shit here?”

“Fuck that,” Daryl said. “I ain’t always right.”

“I’m needed here, D,” you said. 

“By who? Michonne? Or Negan?”

“Judith,” you said. “RJ, Laura, Scott, Gabriel, Siddiq, and Ro who are about to be parents,” you reminded him. “I can’t just run away.” He caught your double meaning. 

“Ya mean like I did?” he asked, but there was no venom in his voice. 

“I never blamed you for leaving after Rick, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think that you should have been around more.” He nodded, understanding where you were coming from. 

“So, that’s a no?”

“Yeah, D, it’s a no,” you said and then sighed, but pulled you back into him, gripping you tight. 

“Remember what I said, Kid, don’t try to fix him. We are the way we are and if you somehow found something you care about in a man like that, don’t try to find a reason to ruin it.”

“I thought people could change,” you said into the side of his neck. 

“They can, but deep down, there’s always that one thing that makes them, them,” he said. 

“I don’t know about that.”

“I do,” he whispered. “Yours is that you don’t give up. Never have, and I don’t think ya ever will. I’ll see ya soon, I ain’t gonna just disappear again.” 

“Promise?”

“Ya, I promise.”

“Good,” you said and then squeezed him once more before he shouldered his bow and with a quick whistle had Dog running after him. You actually believed him this time that you would see him soon and that was comforting. Connie waved to you as the gate slid closed and you were only hoping that whatever they had planned, they would get through it alive.

---------

The next day, it was early and Alexandria was saddling up to head out for The Kingdom. 

You found yourself heading to Aaron’s, trying to muster up the courage to speak to him. You missed him and you knew that whatever was going on between the two of you, you needed to deal with it before it got worse. 

Knocking on the door and Gracie answered. “Hey Gracie,” you greeted. “Is your dad home?”

“Daddy! (Y/N)’s here!” she shouted behind her and then turned back to you with a large grin on her face. “He’s getting things ready for the fair,” she explained. 

“Are you excited?” you asked as you heard Aaron’s footsteps approaching. 

“Yes!” she said, jumping up and down a bit. Aaron appeared behind her, his eyes narrowed at you on his front porch. 

“Hey,” you said. 

“Gracie, why don’t you go finish putting your bag together?” Aaron suggested. 

“Okay! Bye, (Y/N)!” she said, as exuberantly as always. You didn’t know where she got all her energy from. When she was out of sight, Aaron turned his attention back to you.

“Can we talk?” you asked and he hesitated. “Please.” With a sigh, he gestured to the bench on his porch and you quickly took a seat, eager to say your piece. Aaron was quiet as you took a breath. “Aaron, I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” he asked. 

“Being an asshole and not being a very good friend these past couple of months. I’ve been confused and angry and I have been taking it out on you instead of dealing with it.”

“I guess that’s one way to put it,” He said with a snort. He then turned his gaze towards the Grimes house and what was beneath it. “I just hate that you stick up for him.” 

“I know.”

“And what’s worse is that I can see that he makes you happy. I don’t know what to do with that, (Y/N).”

“I don’t know what to do with it either. To be honest, I don’t know what to do with any of it. The last thing I ever expected was to care about someone after the world ended, let alone someone like him.”

“Then why do you?” he asked, genuinely curious. “Why Negan?”

“I don’t know, Aaron. I guess maybe because I always felt misunderstood and like an outcast. I’ve done things I’m not proud of and I didn’t think I was worthy of forgiveness…”

“You think we should be forgiving him?” Aaron asked, raising his brows. 

“No, because I know none of you will. I don’t even know if I could ever forgive him for what he did to Glenn and Abraham. I don’t know if I could forgive a lot of the things he did.”

“What do you know?” he asked. 

“I know that whatever I feel for him is my business and something I need to figure out with him and only him. It’s something I would like to do without the entire town ready to pick up torches and pitchforks.” Aaron laughed at that. 

“I don’t think we’d go that far,” he said. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” you said. “Negan isn’t perfect, but he’s not evil. There is good in him and I’ve seen it, but I need you to know that I don’t expect you to see it too.” 

“Good, cause I won’t,” he said shortly. 

“I know you hate him,” you continued, “but I don’t and I need time to figure out why.”

“Are you asking for my permission?”

“No, absolutely not,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “I’m just telling you that I don’t plan to turn my back on him, at least, not just yet.” Aaron nodded, his eyes staring at his boots. His right hand fiddled with the straps on his prosthetic as he thought about your words.

“Why are you mad at him?” Aaron said and you paused, not expecting the question.

“Who says I’m mad at him?” 

“I know you,” he said. 

“God, I really wish people would stop saying that,” you said, rubbing at the back of your neck.

“I’ll tell you what,” Aaron said. “I’ll stop being an ass to you if you stop being an ass to me, deal? I think we’ve lost enough already to not have each other’s backs. I don’t need any more regrets.” You reached over and offered your hand. He took it and squeezed it in his own. The loss of Paul was still weighing on both of you as if it had happened only hours before rather than days. Aaron was trying and so, you decided you should too.

“Okay, I’ll take that deal.” 

“Maybe you just need to take a breather,” Aaron said. “And I mean a real break. One where you’re not dealing with Walkers, Whisperers, or missing friends.”

“Are you suggesting I take a vacation?” you asked with your brows raised. 

“Come with me to the fair,” he offered. “Help us with Kingdom. I know you turned Michonne down, but I am willing to convince you.”

“How are you planning to do that?” you asked. Aaron then smiled at you. 

“I think I overheard Enid say that Alden has been singing more often. How much do you wanna bet he’s gonna get roped into singing a verse or two?” Aaron sent you a wink and you knew that there was no point in arguing with him. 

“Fine, I’ll go,” you relented. “But first, I gotta talk to someone.”

--------

Before you headed out with the caravan, you made a final stop. 

“Here to yell at me some more?” Negan said as you opened the door.

“Do you want me to?” you asked, approaching the bar. 

“Not particularly,” he said as he sat up on his cot. 

“I’m going to the fair,” you announced. He stood up at that. 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked, concerned. 

“Seems to be. Kingdom needs this and so do I,” you said. 

“I don’t like the thought of you going out there with those freaks running around,” he admitted. 

“I can handle it,” you assured him but then decided to reveal something else. Something you had been careful not to let anyone else know. 

“What is it?”

“They terrify me, Negan. These Whisperers are absolutely horrifying. You asked me not too long ago when the last time I was afraid and I said it was the day Rick died. Now? Now, it’s when I saw those...people walk with the Dead and look at us as if we were the ones who weren’t alive. It was when we were in that graveyard as they killed Jesus... I don’t know what to do with those feelings.” 

Negan thought for a moment, almost moved by the fact that you had decided to come to him with this. Especially considering how your last conversation had gone. All he wanted to do was reach for you and take you into his arms, but he knew had lost those privileges the second he snuck beyond the walls. Instead, he went back to the roots of your communication. He offered a quote. 

“‘I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it’,” he said quietly and you recognized it immediately.

“Nelson Mandela,” you whispered. 

“He was brave, just as you are. I don’t care what they think or what they see. You are stronger than them and the only way they win is if you let them,” Negan said. “Look at me,” he ordered and you did. There was a fire in his eyes, but not the one that was usually there. It wasn’t one of tenderness, but of steel resolve. “Don’t give her an inch. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“I know you don’t trust me, but I trust you, (Y/N). Help your friends and then come back. We have a lot to talk about.” You nodded, trying to memorize the words that he said, letting them cement in your mind. 

Turning to go, you paused in the doorway. “Promise me something,” you said, looking back over at him. 

“Anything.”

“There’s a line, the one that separates us from becoming like them,” you said and he knew you meant Alpha and her people. “If you ever see me about to cross that line…”

“I’ll drag you back even it means I have to take down every last one of them to do it,” he swore, that fire lighting up his eyes even more. You nodded, grateful for his response. “(Y/N),” he said, stopping you one last time. 

“Yeah?”

“I promise I’ll be here when you come home,” he said and with those words, your heart felt an ounce lighter. 

“I know.”

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