#just in case. i will spoiler this. but what does it spoil? IDK LMAO

[insertdisc5]

isaloop shippers. if you do exist. i did not forget y

[mitochondriencocktail]

idk if you're still doing these but just in case 1, 4, 7 and 18 for the space plant au ♥️

i'm holding myself back from asking about the star bojan au and the superheroes au to avoid spoilers lol

If there are asks in my box, I shall keep rambling <3

What's their love language?

Acts of service for sure. I think after the lives they've led, words can sometimes feel murky or nebulous. A life of listening (especially for Bojan in the Space Program), empty words and promises. So acts of service, like making a mug of tea or picking up tasks when the other is having a depressive slump (I picture them both having things to deal with, mental health struggles that come and go).

Maybe one time, Bojan notices that Jere hasn't set up the new lamp they'd bought to spruce up the small space they have. It's been sitting there for a while, so he takes it upon himself to unbox it, put it together, screw in the lightbulb. It's a small gesture, but it means the world to Jere because even though he's got more emotional tools than Bojan in some ways, in other areas he's still fumbling.

Also quality time. Anything to make up for lost time, life they haven't been able to fully live yet. Gift giving when they afford to find something the other one wants or would appreciate, like a box of nice tea for Jere, a beat up cassette of The Beatles for Bojan that he hasn't been able to locate before or perhaps lost during the transition out of the Space Program (I need a better name for this LMAO).

4. What’s their favorite sleeping/cuddling positions?

Face to face, like how they were in the infirmary when they reached out to one another. Legs tangled, heads sometimes resting against each other, other times tucked into one of their chests. Whoever needs a little more comfort that night.

Morning breath be damned, they both love knowing that the other one is there, alive, with them.

7. Who is the more romantic one?

HMMMMMM good question. They're both kind of prone to cheesy romantic tendencies, ideas stolen from movies and media, but perhaps in different ways. Jere brings home flowers he picks, Bojan says the most endearingly bad pickup lines.

A lot of times they both ache for an easier life, if only so they could spoil the other one the way they want to with grand gestures and dates and trips.

18. What does a date night out look like for them?

The world I picture for them is a bleak one. There used to be a lot of life and culture previously before the planet was stripped of its resources and the Space Program became the central focus of society; basically people raised up and trained to go into space as worker bees in a way.

I think a date night out for them would be finding a museum, which would be scarcer, reminiscing about 'vintage' things and imagining life together in those days. It sounds melancholic, but I picture these versions of them as a bit melancholic overall. But not in a bad way. Despite that, they still have found love and stability and security in one another <3

[blorbologist]

i have three !!

are ruidusborn!percy’s first impressions of vox machina affected by his powers? you don’t need to answer if this is gonna spoil things lmao

if percy still gets animus in this au, does that like… mingle or whatever with his abilities?

do you think you’ll do some equivalent of imogen’s circlet for percy?

TRNKRNHTR ATM I'm just plotting everything out vaguely, and this'd occur anyways, so! No worries about spoilers.

First of all: Percy is less powerful a Ruidusborn than Imogen, so I don't think he'd get quite as overwhelmed as she does, and no big cool dreams and lightning powers for him. More in touch with the moon than Fearne, but less than Imogen.

First impressions ... hmmmmmm.

I think he might actually trust Keyleth more right off the bat, and Grog to some extent. He's very close to Kiki in canon as we know, and knowing she doesn't mean any harm from the getgo might help further. Grog would be a loss less an unpredictable, dangerous force if Percy can hear the stupid idea coming before it happens - and know there's no malice between those ears. Well. None directed at him.

Pfft - actually, he might get a better first impression of all of them given he can always listen in if he's concerned. He'd be pleased some members of the group distrust him (Vex and Vax namely, probably Scanlan to some degree) and would either trust the image they present more (Pike is actually a holy person, Grog is not that complicated, Kiki is awkward but well-meaning) or know what's behind their masks (Vex and Scanlan).

Mind you, this might change once he's decided he can trust them and then stops checking in on their minds to be polite - he might still miss Bard's Lament for instance - but initially before he has any reason to trust his life to these strangers he'll definitely peek in and decide he can trust them. Or trust when not to trust them, as the case may be.

So he might initially trust VM a lot more! However, they'll trust him a lot less for his freaky mind-reading bullshit.

OHOHOH! This ties in a bit with an ask Essay sent - I definitely think Animus was designed specifically to fuck with him. The problem is Aberrant Mind sorcerers are not weak to psychic damage, if anything they actually develop a resistance to it at 6th level. I don't think Percy will mechanically multiclass in this AU (just have a feat or two), but... hm. I think he might just take double psychic damage from Animus, including recoil. Furthermore, I think Retort would have been enchanted to hide Ripley's thoughts from any mind readers, given she knew she'd be dealing with Percy sooner or later (and potentially Animus has a similar enchantment, or an improved one? IDK how that'd interact with the recoil, though). So when Percy wields it it could bubble his thoughts in? idk! Definitely worth thinking about.

(If the guns keep him from hearing thoughts, though, Percy might have a very interesting trade-off: keep the guns away from himself and be able to listen in to thoughts if necessary... or have them handy, and risk being surprised and need to use them.)

[slxthxrxn-sxmp]

Gotham Episode six Thoughts

“Spirit of The Goat”

Spoilers will be mentioned so don’t read it if you don’t want to get spoiled please <3

I am ready with my sweat tea- . … what type of cult bdsm demonic possession is this ?

Oh ~back in time~

WHO IS SHELLY?

Aw look at young Harvey

He too was a golden hero detective. i really do love this man

Is this a devil, angel, religious trauma kind of crime ?

Pfff- Milkie

”I already did the paperwork”

I guess thats why Harvey needed a new partner

Uhoh that scene seems familiar

only firstborn ? . … . I’d be screwed

Ed I would like to hear your riddle please. i feel so bad

“That would be enough” from Hamilton starts playing

Negotiating terms lmao

dang they still investigating Oswalds death

Okay bro lets take a moment to consider actual spirit/demonic possession

”delicate nature”

hmmmmmmmm Harvey had a dark past doesnt he

DOES ED HAVE A CRUSH

I- why did he just sniff her ?

……… Kristen Kringle

I actually love that name

who ever came up with some of these names needs a raise

OSWALD

Is his mom jealous of women in Oswalds life ? Red Flag.

Excuse me ? A penny in their necks ???

Goatwatch I’m done shut up Lacey White

Bruce that is either a brilliant idea to stay or incredibly stupid

The Goat can take you from Alfred sir Bruce that hurt

Ed please. … . … as an autistic person I would like to say Ed is definitely also autistic I will not except any arguments

“No heros”

Dix you amazing Bastard I love you

how is there so many rich families in gotham geez Louise

poor poor anita

Barbara is going to be a double agent ?!?!?

THE CUP WITH A QUESTION MARK-

Ms cat my girly youre back !

Oswald is lowkey a child I mean good for you

HER SLEEVE IS GETTING WET ATOP THAT IS A HATE CRIME

So now murder isn’t illegal ?

Aw does he really see Gordon as a friend ?

Yeah this case doesnt feel right

Gordons finna get arrested

Idk if Earl is doing okay

Middle name and everything damn

ITS THE HYPNOTHERAPIST THE ONE HARVEY DIDNT LIKE

Please- 1 percent solution my ass

I mean of course we want to eat the rich but not the kiddos

you go harvey !

GREAT TIMING OSWALD

[su-talks-about-things]

So I finished Ace Attorney 5.

I cried, it was great ;w;

I didn't agree with all the mechanics of the game, cuz some of them felt weird to me. I think they tried to make it easier on you in comparison to the other games but that might just be me 🤔 I don't know, I feel like we were very assisted.

But otherwise I really loved it, just like the others.

I fell in love with Simon Blackquill the second he walked in. It felt weird to love a prosecutor immediately, even though I knew he would act like a prick as they all do. It's normally the other way around, you learn to love them. But what can I say, he came in court, made Dad jokes, had a Dad laugh and a hawk and flipping broke his handcuffs with pure strength and I was done for 🤣

I don't even know what to say lmao, I just wanna get it all out because aaaah the last case gave me emotions. I really liked the big reveal. Even though I had some doubts about it, and I spoiled myself a little bit, it still got me. Athena is a very well-written character (well imo at least). I liked that you could tell that she had trauma, they depicted it pretty well despite the nature of the AA series. Because the game being its quirky silly self, it tends to go more towards the humor and the, idk "childish" aspect of it (which I absolutely adore don't get me wrong, this is mainly why I love these games so bad, there's drama but not too much). But they still made her have like panic attacks and repressed memories and it made sense. It's a bit like Miles with the earthquakes, they still somehow adressed the trauma.

Speaking of Miles, my boy came BACK and man he was hhhhOT. The glasses my dudes, the glasses. I mean I had seen fanarts and everything so I knew but STILL. What a pretty boy. And !!! Okay [spoiler from now on] I guess even though I'm the one playing these games super late lol, but he asked Phœnix to become a lawyer again so he could help Blackquill get out of the mess he was in. And Phœnix accepted. Basically he became a lawyer just for Edgeworth twice. In the same timeline. They are MARRIED YOUR HONOR. I hadn't have so much fun shipping a non-canon ship in a while but those two deliver the good food, let me tell ya.

Pearls came back too !! She was adorable ! She changed but not so much and I love her. She got along with Miles. She was so sweet to Nick. She knows the rest of the team and everything. I swear the found family trope in this game is gonna KILL me someday. I love all the dynamic and possible dynamic they have going on.

Aaaah I don't know what to add, I should have done this as soon as I finished the game but I had to evacuate the feelings. I might come back to that post at some point.

I doubt this post will ever reach someone but if it does and you wanna yell about the game with me feel free to do so !

But for now I'm gonna finish with

Husband ♡

[retroellie]

The Last of Us Headcannons

Summary: Headcannons about TLOU2 characters 

A/N: I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a bit, I’ve ben stressed so I thought I’d write for my comfort characters lmao 

Warnings: Slight NSFW mentions, TLOU2 spoilers 

Word count: 2.4K

Ellie

-This girl is the best girlfriend i swear

-She will always tell you she loves you when she leaves or even if she goes into the other room

-She’s lost a lot of people so she’s always telling you how much she loves you just in case

-Helping her when she has nightmares, especially after joel's death

-”Please don’t leave me.”

-“Ellie, I’m not going anywhere.” 

-She’s definitely a lover of old music

-80s and early 90s was definitely her favorite eras music and movies wise

-Gifting her records you found in abandoned buildings

-She draws you a lot, especially when you aren’t paying attention

-One time she couldn’t sleep so she drew you, she thought you looked peaceful asleep. That drawing is probably her favorite she’s ever done.

-You basically live with her in the garage she lives in

-Winters are always cold in the garage so y’all are basically attached to each other

-You both are cuddled up watching movies with tons of blankets on

-This girl is horny all the time, like if yall are alone she’s on top of you

-Dancing together at the dances

-This girl is so clingy omfg

-Ellie worries about the looks and comment yall get when showing affection in public so she tends to tone down her clinginess

-Joel loves you, point blank period

-When ellie tells you what joel did for her, you didn’t know if you should be happy or sad

-They were gonna take ellie away from you, you probably would've done the same

-”My life would have mattered.”

-”Your life matters to me.”

-You tried to make her feel better about it though, telling her that there would still be bad people and infected in the world

-Neck kisses from the back, my heart is melting holy shit

-She asks maria to put you on routes with her cause mama you are not going without her

-Puns, just puns all the time and you love it

-Definitely calls you babe and baby, you always make fun of her for it but she knows you loves it

-Yall make fun of each other but it’s all in good fun she will never take it too far

Joel

-You’re this mans baby idc

-No one hurts you or they will get tracked down and their knee caps will be gone

-Joel knows full well you can take care of yourself but he just gets so mad

-This man is so soft for you

-He tries to spoil you the best way he can, going out of his way to get you presents from abandon stores

-Teaches you how to play guitar

-He will have you sit in his lap and play the chords

-”Is it sounding better?”

-He just nods and kisses along your back

-He will sing you to sleep if you ask him

-This man has shown you some good ass music, yall sometimes just lay in bed and listen to old records

-He loves the way you look in his shirts, this man melts or bends you over the kitchen table

-He doesn’t cry often but this man is hurt

-The first time you saw him cry was when he broke down to you about ellie and the fireflies and what he did

-It hurt him a lot to admit it but he was so relieved that he could let go and someone be on his side for once

-Tells you all about sarah and how she would like you

-”She would’ve loved you.”

-”Yeah, casue i’m the coolest.”

-”You're a nerd.” He chuckled out

-He would happily tell you about life before the infection, what it was like to not have to look over your shoulder all the time

-He would never tell you about his time in boston

-He didn’t want to scare you, so you never asked but you had a good idea of what happened because of tommy

-Slow dancing in the kitchen while dinner is on the stove

-Forehead kisses in the morning when he has to leave for rounds and your dead to the world

-Calls you Babygirl and princess, IDK HE JUST SEEMS LIKE THE TYPE OKAY

-His voice in the morning>>>>>>

-Will watch you dance from a far while at dances

-Takes you out on little dates, he doesn’t even care about the stares yall (The age gap)

-He is prepared for anything to happen so he loves you like it’s his last day

-Talks about having kids with you but is okay if you don’t want them, i mean he’s not sure if he wants another one but hell, He said he wasn’t going to date anymore but here we are

-If you want kids he doesn't care hold old he is, he will try and try and try to give you a child 

-”Damn it i got my period.” 

-”Well then I reckon we gotta try again, huh baby girl.” He says with a smirk 

-This man has a daddy kink and that’s all i gotta say about that umm anyways

-He is madly in love with you and he shows it, he has lost too many people and he has the mindset of “Good things don’t last forever”

Tommy

-I love this man with all my heart, he’s my baby

-He’s very caring and will hold you anytime you need to be held

-He just wants to help people and make the world a little easier for them so he overworks himself to the max trying to keep everything in jackson in order

-”Tommy, it’s 3 am and you got rounds in the morning. Come to bed.”

-”Yeah i'll be in there in a minute, i just gotta figure out the food supply situation.”

-Having to drag his ass to bed

-He loves cuddling, he loves feeling close to you

- Your the fighter of the relationship, tommy doesn’t like to fight if he doesn’t have too so he lets you deal with the violent stuff

-Although tommy loves his brother, he has a hard time forgiving him for the violence he exposed him too

-He feels very undeserving of you and everything good in his life., you have to constantly reassure him that he is a good person and is doing a great job

-He does have nightmares of being in Boston but you were always there for him, he was so thankful for you.

-He loves your cooking, like it can be the most simple thing ever and he’d be like 

-”This is the best Cereal i have ever had, who taught you to cook like this?”

-He has mommy issues, like his mother wasn’t really around so he has a lot of issues with that ig

-He is the best kisser i said what i said

-He’s very passionate and possessive, it’s cute

-He gives you his jackets all the time, he thinks you look so cute in them

- This man is literally the softest i can’t

-He doesn’t cut his hair just because one time you told him you liked it long

-”Jeez honey, your hair is getting pretty long.”

-”Shoot, do I need to cut it again.”

-”No...I like it long, it flatters your face.”

-”I will literally never touch my hair again ever again now that you said that, Okay”

-You have expanded this mans music taste

-He only ever listened to country cause i mean he’s a simple man but then you came along

-You got him a walkman just so he can listen to the music you recommend him

-He tells ellie all about you and asks her for help because he doesn’t want to mess up anything

-He’s not good in relationships and he believes he’s not a very attractive man so he doesn’t really try but he sees himself marrying you

-Spoiler he asks you to marry him because he can’t see himself without you, he doesn’t want to imagine how the world would be so dark without you in it

-He’s not into cute nicknames so he’ll just call you honey

-After joel's death, he was broken and you didn’t think you can even put him back together, but your willing to try

Dina

-I think you would be dina’s first girlfriend but she would love you with all her heart 

-She kissed you at the dance and everything kinda clicked from there 

-She would sneak over to you house in the middle of the night 

-”Jesus, i could've killed you.”

-”But you didn’t silly, come on i’m cold lemme in.” 

-”You're gonna be the death of me dina.” 

-Your rounds with her were never boring, it was always an adventure with her 

-Making out behind building because she couldn’t wait till yall got home 

-This girl will tease you until your bright read in the face

-She will definitely love kissing you, like she will just randomly kiss you 

-She will try to smash you literally anywhere, when she’s wanting to do the nasty it doesn’t matter where you are she will pull you into a random room or bathroom

-She never bores you in bed too, she’s always up to do new things especially since your her first girlfriend 

-When she found out she was pregnant she wanted to give this child the best life so yall decided to move out into a farmhouse 

- Having a kid didn’t really change how she loves you

-She’s still crazy and wild but now she just has a kid on her hip

-You guys were co parents so you both would hunt and take care of JJ 

-You guys would do almost anything to make that kid laugh even if that was dancing like lunatics for an hour straight 

-You guys almost never get alone time so just laying in bed without the kid felt nice 

-Yall are cottagecore lesbians idc, yall are the best parents and i said what i said 

-From behind hugs and kisses, she will grab your hips and kiss your neck until you have no choice but to rip her clothes off 

-Vintage records and slow dancing with JJ 

-I feel like being in a relationship with dina feels like a vintage song about love 

-There's lots of dancing in this relationship because dina loves dancing 

-She’s always afraid that you will feel left out in the family though since your not JJs real parent but you always tell her you don’t mind and you love JJ just like how Jesse would 

-She finds it so hot when your all protective parent when it comes to JJ, as soon as he falls asleep mama yall wont get any sleep 

-Yall are the best parents, dina will fight anyone who hurts JJ and you make him feel loved 

-When he gets older you guys try to tell him about Jesse without making you seem like the outsider of the family if that makes sense 

-Taking care of the animals and plants as a family and reading books about how to while laying in bed 

-Dina makes the best food and she tries to teach you but it just doesn’t add up to what she does 

-Okay we don’t know much about her sister but by the picture we saw she looks hella cool and i think you would be like best friends with her 

Jesse 

- yall sleep on this man i swear, so this one is to all my jesse stans are there 

-He’s kinky, that’s all 

-He knows he’s hot and he’s super cocky about it 

-He’s not much of a cuddler ngl but he will fall asleep and wake up spooning you 

-Your really close to his mom, like she loves you so much 

-He’s very reckless and your kinda the opposite so you kinda tone him down abit so you think that’s why his mom likes you so much 

-Jesse isn’t much of a dancer and he doesn’t really listen to music but he does like to play video games 

-You always pick him up video games randomly and gets so excited 

-You force him to dance with you at dances and he’s so awkward about it 

-”I hate this.” 

-”Awe you love it.” 

-Always trying to grope you while dancing, like will have his hands on your ass and theres kids behind you like sir stoppp but like keep going 

-”Hey! watch those hands.” 

-”I have no idea what your talking about”

-You and dina are pretty good friends like even after their weird relationship, she’s happy for the both of you 

-Okay so let's pretend jesse didn’t die and he is alive and well 

-When he finds out dina is pregnant he freaks out, he’s still pretty young so he’s terrified he won’t be good enough 

-When the baby comes though he’s so excited, when he’s in the infirmary with dina your happy for him but you can’t help but feel an outsider 

-Dina is so sweet and tries to make you feel better 

-”You're gonna be the coolest step parent ever. I’m glad my son gets such a badass step mom damn.” 

-Dina does move out of jackson still though so yall only get JJ every other week, that was the agreement 

-He cooks in the morning for you and JJ while yall are laying in bed 

-I’m sorry but he’s literally the coolest dad, his entire life changes because of that kid 

-When JJ leaves to go over to his moms house Jesse won’t let you get out of bed, this mf hasn’t got any in a week

-He gets a bunch of cook books so he can better his ability to cook for little JJ 

-You guys decorate JJs room together and it’s the cutest thing ever 

-He takes you to romantic places in the abandon city when yall are on rounds together 

-Jesse has a lot of friends but he would much rather hang out with you 

-Yall call each other stupid and dumb a lot but it’s never used as an insult its just for fun 

-”Damn it, why do i always get the nasty ones.” 

-”Because your stupid, dummy.” 

-”That’s right, i forgot.” 

-Your guys bed is never made, you guys don’t even bother at this point. Like either the kid messes it up or you guys mess it up so what's the point 

-He picks you up when he hugs you, literally pick you up from the waist and lift you up 

!Credits to gif owners!

[amandabe11man]

2, 3, 8, 9, 18 hc asks, john + zep + lawrence

2. Job headcanon

john: this man has never struggled with money before in his life, I think. Why else do u think the two traumas he faced later in life made him lose it completely?? his life was so easy with the engineering and housing projects and the wifey and he (ironically) took it all for granted

zep: he’s done almost anything under the sun at this point, lmao. probably volunteered as a test subject for some college students’ experiments once in a while when money was extra tight as well

lawrence: much like john, his working life has been easy. he was one of THOSE guys in med school (or just— school in general), getting straight(?) A’s with almost zero effort, being infuriatingly approachable… so yeah, what I’m getting at is he’s literally always been a doctor since graduating and also his parents probably definitely paid for his tuition, smfh (idk how american schools work just bear with me)

3. Drinking headcanon

john: drinks occasionally but not much. Obviously he doesn’t drink booze AT ALL after the big c diagnosis. Teetotaler king

zep: again, he’s the chaotic one in this line-up. Not by MUCH in this case, but yeah… he does drink sometimes after another shitty day in his miserable life, but he ain’t an alcoholic

lawrence: he only drinks the finest wine because apparently, the boxed wine alison drinks with The Girls isn’t good enough for him 🙄

8. Shopping headcanon

john: after the multiple Incidents™ he barely shops anymore tbh. most of the time, he gets the apprentices to do it for him so he can stay holed up in his little dungeon, lol. also idk man, but when it comes to the murder clothes, I firmly believe he’s sewn them himself #malewife

zep: god he HATES shopping. He can’t stop thinking that everyone’s giving him Looks and that they’re all judging him. For what? well that’s not important y’see, the most important thing is that he’s right and they’re all definitely judging his entire existence (spoiler: most of them barely notice him, but don’t tell him that)

lawrence: back in his hey-day, he used to go shop with the fam once in a while. At least for groceries… and then maybe he’d accompany diana to some toy store or other while alison was off doing her own errands. I get the feeling they used to go to the mall a lot

9. Childhood headcanon

john: (he was kevin from Home Alone) nah but 4real, he was a somewhat normal kid. Was mostly a loner by choice, but that’s not to say he didn’t have any friends tho! Just— somewhat of a loner like I said, but also outspoken and social when he wanted to be. Also, the other kids definitely always asked him to draw things for them

zep: *war-flashbacks* Okay, his childhood wasn’t THAT messed up, but still— this was before the bitterness truly took hold of his mental state btw. This means that back then, he WANTED to make friends, wanted people to like him, to the point where the other kids would pretend to ”consider” letting him join their gang or whatever, but he’d have to do a bunch of things for them first. Basically, they’d string him along forever until zep finally got the picture that they were never gonna let him hang out with them after all :(

lawrence: SPOILED BRAT— okay, he wasn’t really a brat. Just a people-pleaser that’d get nasty looks for always reminding the teacher about homework (sigh), and yeah, his parents were well-off but busy, so to compensate for their absence, they’d buy him all sorts of things to ”make up” for it, y’know? (Absent parenthood runs in the family, eh?) He was popular but still only had a smaller group of friends he’d hang out with, rather than being shallow friends with the entire school

18. Family headcanon

john: do NOT even mention the ”normal” family concept to him after the incident with gideon bruh he’s still sensitive about that. The less he immerses himself in those memories, the better, because he’s supposed to be ”reborn” now, alright. he can’t detach himself COMPLETELY though, what with his little adoptees aka. apprentices and billy…. He fully embraced the found family-trope and he’s gonna make everyone else do it too!

zep: barely any family to speak of, or at the very least, he’s not in contact with them. It’s just one of those deals where his parents and relatives (if alive) are all busy with their own shit + their disappointment with how zep, uh, /turned out/ in life is something he’s also very much aware about, so they just barely ever end up talking, cause it’s just less embarrassing for everyone that way

lawrence: NEED I SAY MORE about the alison and diana-situation?? Not much to add there, so lemme touch upon something others rarely talk about: his parents. whoever’s still alive, he makes sure to keep contact with them and visit them for holidays and stuff together with his own fam. But as with most of his relationships down the line, he becomes more distant and detached towards them too after a while

[madmadmilk]

I want to be excited about the Eternals SO BADLY but I just can't... I don't think I ever got over Endgame and what a shoddy job the MCU did with time travel and the fallout/recovery of the "blip." The concept of the blip itself irks me so much and I wish they had come up with some other explanation.

But all the mcu content lately (with the exception of tfatws) does so little to dazzle me. And I wish that wasn't the case. I want the excitement back!

OH. MY. GOD. I totally agreeeee!! I wish there was another Avengers ensemble movie to like, solidify what the fuck happened??? I feel like i still have so many questions.... like, where do we stand with "the avengers?" The movies and shows we've seen recently have only scratched the surface...

like,, I'm so happy and excited that the MCU is expanding, but yeah i still feel like there are a few loose threads...

I'm gonna list some thoughts below lol (spoilers ahead!)

Spider-Man: Far From Home (movie)– obviously, we were anxious for a "first look" of what the state of the world was like... but i think they glossed over it too quickly? It was like, the whole world (and peter) mourned FOR iron-man, rather than the lives they lost etc. etc. It was a little bit too rosy, in terms of the world at large. We did kind of get to see Peter stand alone, but not quite. It hints at a bigger multiverse, but ya that doesn't wrap up the one we are already in

WandaVision (Series) - yeah, this was kind of an individual experience, so we didn't really get to learn much about the state of the world. we do know that they picked up vision and just did whatever the fuck they wanted with his body???? meaning??? they either took him when everyone snapped (so the OG6 avengers just let them do that??) OR they waited till tony?? died to take him?? WHAT??????????? i do appreciate that they emphasized her grief, it was cathartic and welcome esp. since i still hadn't gotten over what we lost in endgame.

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier (series) - NOW we're getting into it. they introduced soooo many new topics, issues of race in the MCU, more corrupt governments, displaced peoples from The Blip, and the fact that The Avengers can't even get a fuckin' loan??? (much less other people??) i appreciate seeing how fucked the world is... i don't want it to come together easily. I'm glad to see Sam take Captain America's title and that he is a new and refreshing model for hope. It just feels good lol. THAT BEING SAID–... i'm a little frustrated that they didn't talk about steve's predicament?? like, i just want to know more idk

Black Widow (movie)- uhhhh..... i don't think this will show us much about the current affairs of the world. all i hope is that we see a fucking funeral or memorial to her, cos she's the one who held The Avengers together through the blip?????? hello?????

Loki (series) - I'm pretty sure they're going to rewrite how time travel works with this series. we may get more clarification?? on how it works, but i doubt it'll change anything retrospectively???????? But also this reiterates that Loki, and Gamora are not the same people that we've grown to know. They're the older versions and that is SO. SAD. lol. but we'll see!

Shang-Chi (movie) - hmm it will tie in some places we learned about from TFATWS, but i'm not sure what they'd address about The Blip?? I am excited to watch this and learn more thoooo

Eternals (movie) - LMAO THEY REALLY JUST LET HUMANS DO WHATEVER THEY WANTED, AND THEN THEY LET THEM BE THE ONLY PPL WHO STOOD BETWEEN THANOS AND MASS GENOCIDE AHHAHA (idk much about them, so pls don't spoil anything from the comics). lmao i kinda love how smug they might be about it hahhaha i bet some of them got snapped away and they were like :o....... SHIT. interested to see this new genre/style in the MCU tho! so looking forward to it!!

Yeah, i would say that...... i'm always excited for the new films, but..... i do wish certain things were addressed. Like steve fucking up timelines and leaving everyone behind, what happens to stark industries now?, funeral for nat...., hawkeye? who?, i hate what they did to the hulk......, new asgard?, how is cassie that old now???.... ect.....

let me know what you guys still have questions about lmaoooo

[gizkasparadise]

cdrama rec/review: go ahead

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: go ahead Episodes: 40 Genres: family, healing/melodrama, slice of life, romance Spoilers in the Rec: for the first 20% ish/set-up If You Like, You’ll Like: reply 1988, le coup de foudre, find yourself (same production company/main male actor), rain or shine/just between lovers, found family stories, meet again stories

Rank: 10/10** (see Drawbacks section)

PREMISE

widower hai chao and his 6 year old daughter jian jian live happily above his noodle restaurant despite the recent, tragic death of his wife. one day, dysfunction junction a married couple (he ping, a police officer, and chen ting, a real piece of work) move into the same building with their 7 year old son, ling xiao. immediately, jian jian attaches herself to ling xiao, who is unexpectedly grim for a small child. 

because ling xiao’s family is less-than-healthily grieving the loss of their youngest child, ling xiao’s sister who died in a terrible accident. The Apartment of Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms eventually implodes, ending with chen ting abandoning her husband and son. he ping, suddenly a single father, and hai chao come to a friendly partnership that is clearly alluding to gay marriage where they co-raise both of their kids--hai chao as the primary caregiver, and he ping supporting them financially through his job as a policeman.

meanwhile, the neighborhood busybody is dead-set on getting hia chao remarried. eventually she introduces him to a divorced single mother, he mei, and her son zi qiu, who is ling xiao’s age. they sort of start to date, but it culminates in he mei skipping town and leaving zi qiu behind. hai chao, man with a heart of gold, informally adopts him and zi qiu becomes jianjian’s foster brother.

from there, the trio grow up happily and become inseparable. but once zi qiu and ling xiao graduate high school, the bullshit parade their respective childhood skeletons reappear in their lives. circumstances lead to the boys moving overseas, leaving jianjian and their fathers behind. 

they reunite after 9 years, when the boys return to a home where they hope to pick things back up from where they left off. things are more complicated than that, as jianjian finds herself in a new life and surrounded by new people. 

MAIN CHARACTERS

li jian jian

hai chao’s daughter and the only girl in the family. she attended the required short-hair-low-grades training program required of all cdrama youth female leads. super positive and outgoing, as well as the youngest of the three pseudo-siblings, jian jian grows up spoiled and over protected by her father and brothers, and as a result is completely devastated once her family falls apart. it’s so sad.

after the time skip, she’s an on-the-verge successful artist who makes woodcarvings, and exudes big art bro energy. inhales sugar like it’s nobody’s business. she inherited her father’s disease called caring too much, and it’s incurable!! 

ling xiao

the eldest brother and resident fun police. ling xiao comes from a seriously toxic home that finally seems to improve once his mother leaves. but then she comes back. fucking great. introverted to the point of being withdrawn to anyone but his chosen family, ling xiao’s had to carry a lot of emotional weight that takes a larger and larger toll on him as the series progresses. please get this boy some therapy. 

becomes a dentist because jian jian needs one. wears a lot of monochromatic outfits with low necklines because heavy angst but make it fashion. has been in love with jian jian since high school and is still carrying that torch 9 years later.

he zi qiu  

the middle child who grows up in hai chao and jian jian’s home, and is her foster brother in all but paperwork. hotheaded, zi qiu and jian jian basically share two brain cells that ling xiao routinely takes from them for safekeeping. he spoils jian jian, sneaking her snacks and junk food and wants to become a pastry chef so he can open a sweet shop for her!!

my favorite character. just wants to be wanted 8( him and hai chao’s relationship is my favorite dynamic in the series. will sob while driving a pink moped. is too proud to beg

li hai chao (left) and ling he ping (right)

the greatest (hai chao) and okayest (he ping) dads in the world! noodle dad/hai chao has never done anything wrong in his life, ever, and we know this and we love him. he ping isn’t a bad person, but demonstrates pretty classic absentee parenting/isn’t as emotionally present in his son’s life as hai chao. hai chao is the heart of the family, and would do anything for his kids 8( 

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS 

tang can (left) and qiu ming yue (right)

jian jian’s #GirlGang and roommates. they, like literally everyone in this drama, have some severe mom issue hang-ups. tang can (left) is a former child actress who is struggling with her lack of success as an adult and gives well-meaning but absolutely terrible advice on the regular. 

ming yue (right) is jian jian’s best friend since childhood and as an adult is trying to break free from her mother’s controlling nature--she’s also had a thing for ling xiao for the last 9 years. raises fish for symbolism purposes.

chen ting

ling xiao’s mom and certified garbage human. unable to cope with the death of her daughter that was her fault lbr, she abandons her family and disappears for ten years. she forces her way back into ling xiao’s life when he turns 18, where it’s revealed that she’s remarried and ling xiao has a younger half-sister chengzi (”little orange”). shit goes down, and soon ling xiao is forced to move back to singapore to serve as primary caregiver to both his mother who abandoned him and the half sister he barely knows. 

emotionally abusive and basically hits every single square on the toxic parent bingo card. i just. i just hate her. even typing this out is making me mad.

he mei

zi qiu’s mother. after a few dates with hai chao, she ends up ditching her kid and disappearing for unknown reasons. is a slightly better parent than chen ting but that’s like saying some poison kills you slower. the show tries to bring us around on her but it didnt work for me. 

SOME OTHERS

zhuang bei, zi qiu’s best friend growing up who i would like a lot less if he wasn’t played by the same actor who played my beloved dachuan

zheng shuran, jian jian’s first boyfriend and fellow artist who’s got a weird thing for women’s waists and pretentious artists’ statements

du juan, jian jian’s friend who co-owns their woodworking studio. has absolute trash taste in men

chengzi, ling xiao’s half-sister who can be a brat but dear god does she need to be protected/saved 

**DRAWBACKS

so this is a weird one for me. what i didn’t like i really didn’t like, but what i loved i really loved. ultimately, the factors/uniqueness of this show and the loveability of the main characters outweighed the negatives and it’s one of my favorite dramas.

THAT SAID. i got some #thoughts on this one. 

first, there are literally no positive mother figures in this show. not a damn one. they are all negligent or controlling at best or down right abusive at worst. no woman over 30 is portrayed positively and that’s a big No from me. 

the last 10 eps have some pacing issues and focus on the wrong people. spending the remaining episodes focused on one of the most universally hated characters vs. the main family was a bad move 

the show tried to redeem or make us sympathize with characters that were, to me, completely irredeemable. one case is worse than the other, but both of them were terrible people that deserved to be cut out of the main family’s lives.  

REASONS TO WATCH

the main family. the characters are so wonderful and nuanced, and their dynamics with one another were amazing. you’ll fall in love with hai chao aka noodle dad and the trio. they go through so many trials but they still stick together and it’s ultimately a healing drama and i loved it very much.

the central romance was less in focus, but the pining is enough to make jane austen emerge from the grave. i loved the leads together, and while LOL ling xiao’s attachment to jian jian was not always healthy, they supported each other and it made me smile. i love me a tortured pining dude.

#Acting. everyone played their parts to perfection. the child actors in particular were so well-cast (esp baby zi qiu)

the soundtrack lmao. you watch the opening credits and know you’ll need to buckle up

idk it’s a very unique show, and i haven’t seen one like it. reply 1988 comes close, but it doesn’t tackle the same issues and it was all just very real and earnest. 

Final Thoughts.

GOODNIGHT, GOOODBYYYYYE MY CHILDREEEEEEEN

[robotslenderman]

OK, so here’s my impressions of Shadows of New York so far. I’m enjoying it more than Coteries.

I am 55 minutes in.

Spoilers are very minor, but are there:

I mention which characters have returned and my impression of them, although I don’t give specific details.

I mention how SoNY has set up what happened to Sophie and the Fledgling, but this is right at the bottom and has been warned for.

I talk about Julia’s personality and my thoughts on it.

I do NOT discuss the main plot or any specific events beyond “this character showed up.”

So without further ado, read on!

It starts out hella pretentious but it quickly becomes apparent that that’s deliberate and part of Julia’s personality when things are being set up. 

When it gets interesting HO BOY does it get interesting. So far, even though the main plot hasn’t actually happened (I’m still getting through the setup and I think I’m just on the cusp of the main plot kicking in), it’s actually really interesting. The story is slower paced than Coteries but far from boring, less disjointed so far, and it feels like it will be longer.

It feels more like a novel than Coteries did. So far there’s been less opportunities because of how often Julia likes to monologue in her head. I can see why she’s described as dissociative. She has much more of a personality than the Fledgling did, who seemed to be really caught up in the here and now in comparison.

Minor spoiler here but I feel I should warn you guys -- she clearly has severe depression. No suicidal ideation that I’ve noticed, but she gets very lost in her head (it drags a bit when this happens -- the story is interesting enough I can handle it but it does stick out) rather than interacting with her situation as much as the Fledgling does. So if you have depression she may be triggering, IDK.

Julia’s an amazing character, though. She really irritated me at first but the bit that irritated me quickly got washed away by changes in the plot. Still, as a character she’s exactly my type -- if any of you VTM fans are familiar with my OC, Liriel, she’s a lot like Liriel, but less hyperactive. Has a bad habit of mouthing off, which is not a trait you want when dealing with other vampires lmao.

We meet a Banu-Haqim and another Lasombra. The Lasombra creeps me the fuck out and I want to punch her.

We also run into Thomas Arturo again, briefly.

We meet the Malkavian primogen.

Also meet another character whose clan I either missed or is unknown. His premise is quite interesting.

Comments on Coteries characters:

Qadir returns, and has a new (very sexy) design! Can I just say I’ve only seen one scene of him and Julia interact, but it was amazing. I love their banter. He has a different dynamic with Julia than he did the Fledgling, but it’s still somehow pretty in-character. It’s him, just a different side of him. Much like with the Fledgling, his bark is worse than his bite -- he’s not threatening Julia or anything, but if you look between the lines you can see he’s still quite patient and good-hearted. A different vampire would react to Julia a much different way.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Julia/Qadir becomes a big ship. I see them as an exasperated older brother and annoying younger sister, but I can definitely see people interpreting their banter differently.

We finally meet Samira! She’s beautiful.

Aisling returns, grumbling and grouching.

BENOIT RETURNS AND IT’S AMAZING, OMFG. Oh Benoit. I won’t spoil, and this might be a case of me finding something funny that other people won’t, but I thought his intro was hysterical. Especially Julia’s reaction. Julia’s reaction. omfg. At the same time though I feel really bad for Benoit. It’s hilarious in a “well I should probably actually feel sorry for him instead of laughing at him” kind of way.

Comments on Sophie and the Fledgling (MINOR SPOILERS FOLLOW):

Sophie Langley has disappeared, so nobody (other than the obvious parties) seems to know she’s met her Final Death.

It also appears that a returning character from Coteries was made the scapegoat and everyone thinks this person is responsible for Sophie going missing. I’m not sure if that’s actually what happened, or if Julia just said this to that person to push their buttons -- she’s been known to say things that aren’t true just to wind people up.

The Fledgling has disappeared. No other mention of the Fledgling so far except that they went missing at the same time Sophie did.

[laufire]

In depth fandom ask: the last fandom you joined bc I can't remember it now

Well, I guess the last fandom I’ve properly joined --making a few edits, starting yet-another-WIP etc.-- is Black Sails, so. Plus I want to talk about it a little, spoiler-free, in case you decide to watch it ^-^ (I’ll leave that to the s3 post I need to finish...).

Top 5 favourite characters: Max is my number one, without a doubt, and of the rest of my faves Silver has an edge... but the remaining positions are a tough fight between Flint, Jack, Madi and Miranda, and I honestly can’t choose DD:

Other characters you like: Mr. Scott, Anne, Idelle, the Maroon Queen, Billy, Eme, Abigail... This show has a lot of great characters tbh.

Least favourite characters: I still loathe Peter Ashe with every fiber of my being. Alfred Hamilton is obviously The Worst(TM). And though it hasn’t grown into hate (yet), I don’t like Woodes Rogers one bit ¬¬

Otps: Flint/Miranda, and the combos in Flint/Madi/Silver and Anne/Jack/Max (in no particular order at the moment because I just HAVE TONS OF FEELS ABOUT THEM ALL).

Notps: I don’t have strong NOPE feelings towards anything, but I’m not into Eleanor/Max (which is a dynamic I actually really like BUT that I’m glad it doesn’t return to shippiness LOL); Eleanor/Rogers (I might be indifferent towards Eleanor most of the time but I haaaaaate Rogers for her. RUN GIRL), Flint/Vane (booooooooring).

Favourite friendships: Max & Silver (THE duo I swear), Jack & Max, Flint & Silver, Idelle & Max (I might not have said so before but I guess I like a little conflict LMFAO), Billy & Flint (NOT a friendship, but their relationship absolutely cracks me up I swear. “Who’s Billy?” XDDD).

Favourite family: Madi’s family, which is all I can say without getting spoilery. I just. *lies down on the floor overcome with emotions* xDD

Favourite episodes: the problem with binge-watching (okay, I’ve taken s3 more slowly but) is that they all kinda blur together LOL. Hmm. The season finales are all *chefs kiss* so far (sometimes in a very painful way... I’m looking at you s2. Though the ominous Flint/Silver moments in the s3 were A LOT too); any in which I get to see Max & Silver scheming together ofc. And the first handful of eps in s3 were particularly enjoyable to me because I was drowning in PURE ANGST and Flint & Silver feels xDD (I can’t NOT believe the fandom seems to call one of those “the shark date” asñldfjasdfñl).

Favourite season/book/movie: oof. I honestly can’t pick; s1 is probably the “least” because the others include better moments for some of my secondary faves, and because there’s a plot that’s really hard to watch... BUT it has things on it I adore to pieces too. s1-2 doesn’t have Madi (major drawback xD), and s3 is after one of my faves’ death... but frankly they’re all neck and neck so far.

Favourite quotes: “I am ruined over you” always comes to mind DD: “Liked is just as good as feared”; Max combo with Eleanor about sand (typing that down made me think of Anidala LMFAO. The scene itself is very different though! xD) in the s1 finale; “in another time, in another place, they would call me a queen”; “this ends when I grant them my forgiveness, not the other way around”, Mr. Scott’s “No. Only YOU.”... honestly, this show’s dialogue is just too good(TM), I could just quote it all back xD. And of course, I HAVE to mention “WHO’S BILLY”. It’s the law.

Best musical moment: the score is perfection all around, but given that I never skip the intro just to listen and watch it... yeah, the intro xD

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: well, I *might* have lost it the moment CAPTAIN FLINT COMES OUT TO LONG JOHN SILVER OVER A BONFIRE, IDK XDD

When it really disappointed you: the fact that I won’t get to see a fully fleshed out Mr. Scott-Silver dynamic is MAJORLY disappointing, let me tell you. That Flint’s actor didn’t somehow get his mother (aka Maggie Smith aka Professor McGonagall aka Lady Violet) on the show too ¬¬. LOL.

Saddest moment: character’s deaths of two of the characters listed on “top 5”/“others you like” xD.

Most well done character death: the hanging in 3x09 was well done and served its purpose.

Favourite guest star: for a value of “guest star”... I’m going with Idelle.

Favourite cast member: Jessica Parker Kennedy is the one that I know and love for other projects she’s done.

Character you wish was still alive: THE ONE WE TRAGICALLY LOST IN 2x09.

One thing you hope really happens: I’m cheating because I know there’s some of that in s4, but I want to watch more Flint/Madi interactions pls.

Most shocking twist: well, I wasn’t spoiled for Mr. Scott’s plot in s3 so I was (pleasantly) surprised by that xD

When did you start watching/reading?: a little over two weeks ago; I watched (devoured) s1-s2 and 3x01-3x04 in a few days because I wanted to meet Madi, and then I tragically had to slow down :(((

Best animal/creature: I will always love Treasure Islands’  parrot that Silver named after Flint LMFAO.

Favourite location: Nassau aka Max’s ~domain xD. And Miranda’s house.

Trope you wish they would stop using: noooooone. I love the tropes this show reuses LMFAO. Romantic Betrayals(TM), triumvirates, “good things happen in the dark/away from civilization”, the power of narratives, social climbing and revolt... bring them oooooon.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: quite a few xD. But one that really stands out to me is the dialogue; both the ~deep and sorrowful type (there were so many quotes where I had to take a break to freak out properly lol), and the humorous ones.

Funniest moments: I know I’m repeating myself, but I recently rewatched the pilot to edit some scenes and I keep remember the WHO’S BILLY one xDD (which I maintain it was Flint trolling him. He could give Abigail a rundown of Billy’s whole life story AND he shamelessly checked him out that one time. Flint knows who Billy is, he’s just an asshole xD). Really, all the scenes between Billy and Flint in that episode are comedic gold lmfao. Billy’s “oh dear I fucked up” expression when he tells Flint the crew has started to think him weak and Flint looks half a second away from murdering him right there, his WTF face at Flint’s antics with the stolen page... Gold, seriously.

Couple you would like to see: I meannnnnn. I would’ve been very happy if the show had decided to go with Flint/Madi/Silver, for one. Bonus if Miranda could’ve been included. Or just explicit Flint/Silver in poly arrangements (THEY ARE IN LOVE, IT’S JUST ~COMPLICATED XD).

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: MAGGIE SMITH DAMMIT.

Favourite outfit: literally everything Max wears in s3. Eleanor’s s1-s2 outfits were things I’d love to wear too. Flint’s ~dramatic coat. Miranda’s collection of supposedly-puritan-but-showing-the-goods dresses xDD (and ofc her London clothes), Jack’s clothes (he’s Nassau’s fashion icon lbr).

Favourite item: the books!! Especially when Flint gave Miranda “La Galatea” as a gift (given that sometimes he reminds me of my OC Latoya, you might understand the freakout I had when he gave the other member of my OTP a book titled like that xDD).

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: no, but I kinda want to. I did have a Treasure Planet computer game I tragically can’t find... it was about collecting money in increasingly difficult scenarios LOL. And I probably have more pirate-y/Treasure Island theme stuff. I had a long pirate phase xD

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: Max’s because I like being on the winning team, thanks xD (though I do ~align more with Flint and Madi’s lbr...).

Most boring plotline: Eleanor and Vane’s ~romance is not at all badly written... but the fact that I find both of them boring kinda ruins the whole thing because I always wish that time went to someone else xD. Also, Blackbeard. Meh.

Most laughably bad moment: n/a.

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: the London flashback where Miranda goes to Flint’s house unannounced to take him to an art gallery, she finds him half-naked and he gets all awkward about it lmao. And then they hook up in the carriage :DDD

Most layered character: we get to explore Flint and Silver the most. Silver’s development in particular is something that never ceases to impress me ngl.

Most one dimensional character: except the one-note characters I wouldn’t really call anyone completely one-dimensional, tbh. Though I do think the fandom attributes more complexity to Thomas than it’s seen in canon? Like, I like what I see; I think he’s functional, he works well, and he adds wonderfully to Flint’s (and Miranda’s) story, but I don’t see him as a full character in his own right. Which is perfectly fine for the narrative so far, but I fear it might fall apart for me at the very end.

Scariest moment: I never know what to say in this... I mean, I guess Flint killing a man with his bare hands in the pilot Like That was scary xD. I understand why Silver freaked out LOL.

Grossest moment: any of Max’s interactions with Vane tbh. Stay away from her ¬¬

Best looking male: Flint has that ruggedly handsome thing going on for him, if you’re into that (and sometimes I do appreciate his ~aesthetics... very sad he shaved his head in s3 though. Like, I get you did it for the Angst, honey, and trust me, I Feel U, but still). I feel like I might be forgetting someone, but seriously, none of the dudes in this show so far do anything for me LOL. I can honestly say I love them for their personalities xDD

Best looking female: I have a weakness for Max, but Miranda, Madi, Anne, the Maroon Queen, Idelle, Eme... all of them are gorgeous in their own way. This show is good for sapphic women’s enjoyment in that sense xDD.

Who you’re crushing on (if any): I could crush on any of the women mentioned above tbh.

Favourite cast moment: I have literally only seen this post about an interview where Flint’s actor says he’s too old to party with The Youth of the cast and just wants to chill on the weekend... with bonus Max and Eleanor’s actress talking about how Vane’s once climbed the side of a building up AND back down. I’m with you, Toby Stephens, you don’t need those shenanigans xDD

Favourite transportation: the Walrus, for sentimental reasons LOL. I liked stolen Spanish warship too.

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): lots of good ones, though I think my fave might be the one of Miranda sitting by the window in London. Or the one of Charles Town burning down, I liked that :))) (I remember thinking “Flint better go full Daenerys on them”. And he did! It was nice xD).

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: n/a, so far.

Best promo: n/a.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: I liked it from the word go, but the moment that TRULY cemented it for me was in 1x03, with Max making a decision that I... frankly didn’t expect. It made things worse for her in the short-term, the storyline itself was difficult and disturbing to watch and I still have some mixed feelings about it. But what it said about her as a character and how her journey goes after that... I was in awe of her, and of the show.

[pinkbloodedpoppy]

So, my sister (turned 9 in February) started playing NDRV3 a while back, cuz she kept watching tiktoks about it and liked Kokichi and Himiko and wanted to play the game since we had it.

Since we already played the game when it first came out (we have day one edition lol it adds like nothing except a song we never even unlocked), she already knew a lot of spoilers, plus the fact that she watches danganronpa tiktoks and we probably spoiled stuff because we didn’t expect her to play it herself.

Soo, we started replaying the game with her, funny thing is, remember how she wanted to play it cuz she liked Kokichi and Himiko? Yeah after a while she started to hate them. Like. She got annoyed by them real quick lmao. She seems to be liking them better now tho.

She’s at the beginning of chapter 3 rn, we can’t remember where to use the hammer so that’s where we’re stuck lmao

Anyways, she knows most of the deaths, but here’s some things that I found interesting about what she thinks happens:

First of all, she knows Kokichi gets smushed by a hydraulic press. She jokes about it all the time.

HOWEVER, she seems pretty confident that Kokichi kills Miu. Does she think the hydraulic press is his execution??

She knows who the survivors are, she knows Gonta and Kaito die, how does she think it happens? Idk. I don’t want to press her for info in case it jogs her memory and spoils the surprise.

SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHY EVERYONE IN THE FANDOM HATES TSUMUGI. SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHO THE MASTERMIND IS. HOW DOES SHE SEE ALL THESE MEMES ABOUT HATING TSUMUGI BUT NOTHING ABOUT HER BEING THE MASTERMIND

She’s pretty sure Angie and Tenko die this chapter (she’s right) but doesn’t seem 100% sure

A different sister saw her watching Kiyo’s execution on tiktok once. The next day, she said she had a weird dream about Kiyo being tied up and spun around. She. Watched his execution. And thought it was just a dream. I’m.

She kept skipping all of Kiyo’s lines lmao. Eventually she decided to, instead of giving him NO attention, give him ALL the attention, and going into chapter 3 we are scared. Pretty sure she doesn’t know.

The one scene in the ch2 trial where Kaito puts his hand like behind Shuichi’s back or somethin made her die because it was too cute. She didn’t like Kaito. Now she does but calls him ugly.

She also doesn’t get why everyone hates Angie. I just keep telling her “well you’ll see her do more stuff in this chapter”. I’m not saying that what she does is reason to hate her. I’m kinda neutral on Angie tbh, I don’t remember all the reasons people hate her so I’m just like eh, let’s see what she does this chapter and see if you still like her or join the fandom in hate.

I wish I could know more but like I said, I don’t wanna push her for info on what she remembers in case it jogs her memory and spoils what little surprise is left for her.

[coe-lilium]

TroS reaction (1st view)

Necessary premise in bullet points:

- I liked TFA when it came out and still do but as I dug into the franchise/canon (Disney only by choice) my enjoyment of it became more lukewarm. Came out of it dreading a potential Reylo but liking the two charas on their own. 

- went into TLJ worried I’d hate it, came out with it being my favorite saga movie and sold on the Rey-Ren connection, whatever road it would’ve taken. Loved the “Rey’s powerful on her own/bc the Force wants to set Kylo’s wrongs right”. It felt good after two years of being bombarded with “this fucking Mary Sue can have any power only if she’s connected to powerful men of the saga, she has otherwise no right in being powerful” in forums spaces.    

- went into TroS non-spoiled, wary of Palpatine return but relatively hopeful if soured about the “JJ our lord and saviour pleease save us from evil evil Jonhson” (HA!). The rumors about lore from the tv series being featured into the movie had me excited.  

That said, here goes: [SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE, ENDING INCLUDED, RIGHT OFF THE BAT]

I didn’t like it. I really hope to warm up to it more in future views, there’s absolutely stuff I liked or even loved, but as it stands now it was overall a massive disappointment on many sides and -worst of all- threatens to retroactively ruin my enjoyment in other previous stories. 

First, the positives: 

- Parentage notwithstanding, Rey was good. Her rage, her fears, her good heart, her commitment to the fight and the training, her longing for guidance… truly, if the bloodline revelation hadn’t retroactively ruined my investment in the character and themes I’d have fully, 100% loved her even if every single other part of the movie had been the same. 

Except for a brief war flashback to Starkiller game abilities (I lolled) I wasn’t even troubled by all the new abilities or their scope. Movies’ been inventing new powers since the beginning and the Force does what the Force wants. Again, fuck the genetics “twist”, garbage stuff. 

- Kylo, next to… 95% that involved him? TLJ did a great job selling him to me and surprisingly this movie added to that instead of retconning it away. More competent but still stupid and petty from time to time. I’m glad he came back, glad he choose right and glad he was allowed more time on the right side than Anakin. I love redemptions and he was portrayed as wavering the entire trilogy, I don’t even really care that it could’ve done better. I’m happy for him and his family, that’s all. The kiss got a laugh out me but not a malicious one, I was kind of running out of reasonable reactions by then. 

I’m just conflicted on how I feel about his death. Back when TFA was released I wanted him to survive to face what Anakin didn’t: justice (the kid-friendly setting prevented a death sentence anyway), atonement and growth from there, I still wish it happened and maintain that a different pacing would’ve allowed it. On the other hand, I’m also kinda okay with him dying. He righted at least a bit of his many wrongs, he saved a person he cared for, that his parents cared for and that could help the galaxy much more than he ever could and he was at peace. It was a good death.      

- Kylo’s vision/illusion of Han. A surprise but a very pleasant, well acted one. Would’ve I maybe liked Anakin more, as Ben idolized him so much and for all the wrong reasons and because I love that disaster? Yes. Does Han work much better in the economy of the movie and trilogy story and do he and Ben have a much rawer relationship and history? Absolutely. I am a teeny tiny bit baffled as  for why Luke didn’t also show up, but the actual scene was good enough I forgive it.  

- Rey and Kylo bond and connection was one of the saving graces of this mess and I utterly loved it. Both actors worked their asses for for all their scenes and it payed off, oh if it payed off. Their DSII duel was perhaps a tad long but great nonetheless (Republic era Jedi jumps!), the hurt and the sense of absolute loss and grief they both conveyed -and shared!- after Leia’s passing was incredible, Rey regretting the near kill and softly going “I would have stayed, had you renounced the dark side”. She cared, yes, but not to the point of ignoring the horrors (something Anakin never quite understood). The “dyad” stuff was a bit overkill, just call it a force bond, we can see it’s freaking powerful, but the Force Skype and sharing of objects that came with the package, that I loved. Surprise lightsaber, Ren fuckers! :D Bet Anakin and Obi Wan were really jealous, that would’ve come in handy during the war.       

- Finn was now fully invested in the cause, at ease, visibly happy to be with his friends, ready to bond and reach out, quick to plan, to act and to adapt to the situation, brave but cautious and calculating. I wish it was given a bit more focus, but I loved he found other young FO defectors. Also fuck yeah, he’s force sensitive and his ability is used, not just thrown in as a useless wink. Jedi Finn in future material, c’mon!

- Poe’s also grown. He was probably going to have more screen time with Leia had Carrie not died but there was nothing to be done for that. I’m not as happy as for previous 3 charas for the backstory retcon I’ll tackle in the negatives.

- Jannah was cool, the addiction of other FO defectors a welcomed one and the scene were she and Finn excitedly went over their “I broke free” moment was adorable. Good bean, I’d read more about her and her company. 

- A bit lot annoyed at Bloodline being kinda tossed outta the window but getting Leia with lightsaber was nice. Give me some ancillary material to deal with the clash and I’ll fully forgive it. 

- Jedi! MY GIRL AHSOKA MY MAN KANAN! I mean, I sure wish they were in a better movie, but hey, recognition for something more than the OT? No slandering of the Order but all of them collectively kicking Sidious ass once and for all? I’ll gladly take it. Anakin, my dude, I’m sorry your sacrifice was next to nullified but it was good to hear you again ;_;  I didn’t hear Ezra’s voice anywhere so I can still hope he’s alive, well and with the Ascendancy teaching all their Navigators. “I am all the Jedi” remains a terrible line. 

And now, oh boi. Here comes the long list of annoying - bad - stinking shit stuff: 

- If I wanted to watch a 2 and half long videogame cutscenes I’d have done that in the comfort of my home without spending money for tickets. Go to level x to retrieve related macguffin, move to next level to get next macguffin and so on and so on. I liked close to everything in the DS II sequences, but what would’ve that dagger pointed at if the wreckage had fallen even a little bit differently?   

In general, many plot points gave me the feeling they were stolen from the tv series and badly executed, like a mockery (or incompetence?). Case in point: Hux betraying the 1st Order out of personal, spiteful hate? Potentially good! The execution? A poor man’s Rebels Agent Kallus, already over in little more than 5minutes. 

- Palpatine himself is a poorly, ridiculously poorly executed Maul resurrection storyline from tcw and rebels. 

Because Maul was 1. explained and 2. got a good, long arc that made you forgive the undoubtably contrived ass-pull it took to bring him back while Sidious is just… there. You gotta accept it because the writer said so. 

How did he survive? We don’t know and fuck you if you expect an explanation (they really had the absolute galls to have him say the iconic/meme line from Rots and apparently it was supposed to be enough?!) How could he “have all Sith reside inside me” when canon’s clear that Sith do-not-get-to-retain-their-individuality-in-the-Force, do not work well together (lmao) and he as an individual never gave a shit about the Sith except when they could serve his own personal desires? His entire approach to the rule of two and other Sith stuff is “fuck that noise, everything in the galaxy exist to serve me”. He’s fine dying as long as “the Sith rule”? Who IS this character, because he’s not Darth Sidious (as presented in Disney’s own canon, mind). Oh, you wanted explanations? FUCK YOU, screams the movie. 

The mess gets somehow salvaged in the end as he comes to his senses and siphon the life out of Rey and Ben to de-rotten/revive himself to rule in person, now *that* was in character. Was he actually lying his ass off the entire time waiting for the moment he could siphon them? Hopefully but who the hell even knows.

In the end it just wasn’t worth bring him back. A holocron, a different Sith, even a hive-mind of old records/tainted wraiths of Sith (perhaps wearing Palps face to buy the old empire aficionados loyalty, idk) would’ve been better than “actually, Anakin suffered nearly his entire life and sacrificed himself for barely more than 25 years of peace and it still wasn’t enough to rid the galaxy of the monster who destroyed his and countless other lives”. But Johnson was the one shitting on beloved characters legacy and accomplishments, uh? Surely at least he’s got company. 

Ian was clearly having a blast, so there was… that? And the initial sequence being legit creepy and the Sith storm or whatever the fuck was that. That can stay, it was cool.     

- Poe, the latino character, got retconned from former Republic pilot (a backstory established before TFA came out and faithfully respected ever since) into a smuggler and gang member. Classy. What does Lucaslfilm have a story group for if not for stopping stuff like this from happening? Bonus Zorii being used for a “no homo! homo? no homo?” wink wink and for generally being a poor man Solo’s Qi’ra.   

- The movie makes you worry for a character death three (3) times in a row only to immediately backpedal on it. The survivors are grieving, the scene is sober… and then suddenly! they’re alive! isn’t it wonderful? let’s insert a comical scene now that we’re at it! Sigh.   

- The whole Threepio stuff was a contrived waste of time in a movie already full of more relevant plot treads that could’ve put that screen time to better use. 

- Rey’s parents apparently aren’t assholes anymore bc they sold her into slavery to protect her from Sidious, which is… supposed to make it alright, a sacrifice in the name of love? If they had been shown trying to give her to a trusted person and then she was kidnapped that wouldn’t had been their fault, just unfortunate, but the movie shows them leaving their 5yo daughter with her in-all-but-name slaver so?? 

- Rey Palpatine… Rey. Palpatine. Gesù Cristo benedetto che minchia mi è toccato di vedere. That hurt. That was so hilariously over the top bad I just…I started laughing. On top of the entire thing, thank you so, soo much for validating all those fucking assholes who demanded Rey be connected to a powerful man in the saga to accept her powers and value, you hack. Jedi were never about power of blood and then you went and reinforced the very opposite. She ain’t powerful bc the Force recognized her as worthy to stop evil and chose to aid her anymore, she’s powerful bc grandfather was. Lovely stuff. Hilariously, now she has a lot more legit “Mary Sue” traits than before. 

- Rose’s sidelining was a blatant bow to her and her actress haters whims. If in VIII she jumped at the chance of action, now she was fearful and “had to stay behind” studying maps. Fuck that noise. 

- Even if she rejected it, underline is that the Skywalker line is wiped out and the Palpatine one thrives. I… just… wtf wtf wtf. A final “Just Rey” would’ve been more powerful -because now it would’ve been reclaimed- and less corny and in poor taste than a Palpatine taking on the Skywalker name. I’m not sure if Sidious is more offended or if he’s laughing his ass off in space!hell. Probably the 2nd. Bad.      

- The final scene on Tatooine. It rang so empty because the planet brings warm memories only to the audience, not the characters. In-universe, that place brought nothing but misery to the Skywalkers: Anakin and Shmi were brought there as slaves and lived as such for years, Shmi was tortured to death and Anakin began his descent into the dark for crying out loud. Luke had to hide and saw his relatives murdered. Leia had no connection whatsoever to the place. The mera idea of burying Anakin Skywalker lightsaber into the sands of Tatooine and considering it a way of paying respect is… I don’t know, hilariously in bad taste? Rey, dear, what did you have personally against the guy? Put those sabers to rest on Naboo! Ah, but we can’t truly acknowledge the PT now, can we? Wack.   

- It’s not TroS complete fault, that “honor” mostly sit at TFA’s feet but for all its omages, copies and almost slavish references, from a in-universe point of view it’s like the OT barely occurred. 

The same evil man has been defeated (until next time?), the Republic must be rebuilt from scratch, a evil military is all over the place and must be dealt with, the Jedi Order has to be rebuilt… it’s depressing. A new evil taking advantage of the empire leftovers would’ve been one thing, but Sidious? He’s been effectively winning nonstop ever since he was elected Chancellor. He had all the power, all the influence, all the control and he maintained it all even as a rotten corpse in exile, the entire galaxy marching on his tune, controlled by his strings. And as the cherry on top of the cake he even managed to wipe out the family that could’ve, should have been his undoing! He effectively destroyed the Skywalkers. He outlived every Jedi, every survivor, every clone. I hate this. It’s sickening. I can’t even be happy Rex was on Endor anymore.      

In general, the best word I can find for this movie is: coward. 

So blatantly desperate to please, to be “forgiven”, to reference every single irrelevant thing -except the PT and the TV series in a intelligent way-, to throw fanservice after fanservice after fanservice no matter how nonsensical from all over that crossed the “corny” to wander into embarrassing territory many times over (Maz giving Chewie a medal outta nowhere? Come the fuck on now). 

The cartoon series had twenty time the guts of this movie and I vehemently wish for Filoni to take the helm of the entire creative team in a very near future.                  

[jawnjendes]

it came back for more | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

AN: let me know if i should give the goth gf a name bc like,,,,,,,,,,, idk just let me know,, also does anyone actually like this series lmao

masterlist | series playlist

"You're leaving me?" Shawn asked in mock disbelief.

I knew he was joking, but the fact that he said it as we were walking through campus, in the view of many passing students was a little embarrassing. There was just no getting used to that, like he couldn’t get used to my emotional distance sometimes. I just kept my eyes on the ground and continued walking next to him. No hand holding today. Doesn’t mean I don’t adore him any less.

"I made plans with Stella weeks ago," I told him. "We already bought tickets."

Shawn smiled, letting go of his pretend hurt. "It's cool. I understand, and I hope you have fun."

"Shit, me too. I feel like this movie is going to destroy me."

Yes, this is about the most anticipated movie of the year. Yes, I was more hyped than I have been in months. No, there will not be any spoilers.

"You're welcome to tag along," I added. "I mean, if there's still seats available at the theatre."

He shrugged off the invite, which I knew he would do. Shawn wasn't into this particular franchise, claiming he was tired of this type of movie. Can't say I blame him, plenty of people felt the same way. It was just hard to ramble at him about it because he didn't know jack shit. That was why I was going to the movie with Stella.

"I'll just stay home and watch Grey's without you." He smirked.

"First of all, that's mean and I would never do that to you. Secondly, Grey's comes back next week!"

"Oh yeah."

“Besides,” I added, “I’m gonna spend the night at your place anyway. Just like every Thursday.”

“Yeah, but instead of twenty four uninterrupted hours, we’ll get…” Shawn counted on his fingers. “...Less than that?”

We made it back to my dorm to find Stella lying facedown on the couch. Shawn and I shared a look as we entered the vicinity. Not that this wasn’t unusual, it was just hard to pinpoint her reasoning for this. I mean, I shouldn’t talk. Sometimes I lie on the floor without explanation wherever I please. Stella was used to that, but Shawn would ask if I “wanted to talk” or something.

"Did you get spoiled?" I asked her.

"No," she replied, her voice muffled by the cushions. "I'm trying to kill time. There's five hours left before the movie!"

I sighed and went to sit on her legs. "I know. I made Shawn take my phone because I don't wanna go online and see something I don't wanna see."

Stella picked her head up. "That's a good idea." She reached for her phone on the table, extending her arm towards my boyfriend. "Can you take mine too?"

Shawn chuckled, back and forth between the two of us. But he took Stella's phone. "You're both crazy."

"And what about it?" I said back. Then I reached for his hand. "Anyway, I need you to keep me busy for at least three hours." I smiled and batted my lashes in an exaggerated manner.

"Only three hours?" he replied with a cheeky grin as he took my hand and got me to my feet again.

"Ugh!" Stella interjected as she rolled off the couch. "I'm going to the library! And I'm leaving my phone so I don't go online! If I'm not back before we have to leave, just assume I killed myself because I got spoiled!"

"That's valid," I told her, "but I like you better alive."

~

Two of the three hours went by before Shawn practically tired himself out. He tapped out and rolled onto his back, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I couldn’t blame him for pulling out (in every aspect) because it was close to finals season. Tensions were rising, he was finally feeling the consequences of missing assignments and poor exam grades. I knew that because I was going through the same thing. The semester was going to be over in a month, then I would be going back to California.

And Shawn was coming with me… for a week.

It got awfully cramped on my single size bed by the time Shawn was out like a light, so I got up and decided to get ready. I got dressed in the appropriate attire for this movie, a black t-shirt with the franchise logo and black leggings. Then I grabbed my makeup bag and sat down on the floor in front of my mirror. Halfway through my routine, Shawn awoke with a start.

"I'm up! Let's go again!" he said, sitting up.

I looked at him through the mirror, still blending concealer under my eyes with a sponge. "You're like, twenty minutes too late, my dear. I'm already getting ready."

He rubbed his eyes and yawned, nodding in response. "Okay…"

As he lied down again, I couldn't help but smile. Shawn was really fucking cute, and he had no right to be. I don't want to sound like that girl, because I’m rarely that girl, but how was I expected to spend three whole hours away from him tonight? Thursdays were usually our night, since neither of us worked or had class after four o'clock. I mean, nothing was going to stop me from going to this movie, let alone a cute guy with curly hair and a charming smile. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t miss him.

"You're still welcome to join us," I told him from where I was sitting.

"You really want me to go, eh?" he replied, shifting to his side so he was looking at me.

"I'm just saying, it's probably the only time you'll see me cry."

Shawn picked his head up, eyes wide. "Seriously?"

Between the two of us, he was the crier. Are we surprised at this point? I had my exceptions, like watching a new movie I was very passionate about, or when my chronic GI issues would flare up and give me a panic attack. However, I haven't gotten sick in a while, so technically only one thing was going to make me weep.

"Well," Shawn spoke after a while, "guess I'm going."

~

I knew I was expecting tear jerkers, but I still sported my inner and outer wings to the movie. Half of it smudged onto my eyelids and half was under my eyes. On top of that, I got a dehydration headache, because I refused to drink water during a three hour long movie. I did eat popcorn, even though it was well after the time I cut off food for the day. That sounds concerning, but it's a thing I go through. If I eat after 8PM I will spend the night barfing.

Shawn, Stella, and I left the theatre practically buzzing. The mood of the film and the other moviegoers kept our spirits high, despite the fact that Stella and I had visible mascara tracks on our faces. I cried at things you wouldn’t normally cry at in a movie, like when your favorite character breathes, or makes a dramatic entrance.

"Okay," Shawn said, "that was actually a really good movie."

"Good enough to convert into a stan?" I asked, holding his hand.

"Mm, probably not."

I quickly let go of his hand. "Fine."

Walking towards the parking lot was when I started to feel something. My abdomen felt a little sore, and it made me slow down my steps a little bit. I placed my hand on my stomach; It wasn’t excruciating, but it was noticeable.

"You okay, honey?" Shawn asked, looking at me.

I nodded quickly and got back into step with him. However, the soreness was persisting by the time we got back to my car. I unlocked the doors to let Stella and Shawn in, but I stood where I was and focused on this pain. Maybe I cried too hard at the movie. Maybe the popcorn I had was giving me a warning.

Either way, there go my late night plans.

"So, I don't think I should stay at your place tonight," I told Shawn when I got in the car.

"Aw, why?" he asked.

"My stomach is, uh, acting up a little. Not feeling too good."

"You're gonna let your stomach stop you?" Stella piped up from the backseat. She wasn't one to normally say things like that. She knew how serious I got when I got sick.

I looked at her through the rear view mirror. "You got plans tonight?"

She picked at her nails and stayed quiet for a minute. "I have a friend visiting."

"Just stay at mine anyway," Shawn said to me. "I have the tea you like, and medicine, and a shit ton of blankets to keep you cozy. I'll be there to take care of you."

"I don't know, I wouldn’t wanna put that on you."

"I really don't mind."

We’ve been together five and a half months. In those months, I have gotten flare ups a handful of times, and all of those times had to do with trying new foods that ended up disagreeing with me. Each time I was with Shawn, and I had to tell him to leave me to deal with my illness. He did so, reluctantly. He really wanted to nurse me back to health, though.

Sickness is just so ugly. I didn't want to burden him with my physically unstable ass sleeping on the bathroom floor. I didn't want him to hear me puking in his bathroom. We just got to a place where things were Love sick, not Sick sick. Everything was so soft and sweet between us. For once nothing was grey, it was soft blend of black and pink. I didn’t want to taint it with my stupid gastrointestinal crap.

On the other hand, Stella is my roommate. She offers to look after me when I get sick, to which I always say no. I know how to handle it. Still, she goes to the extent of cancelling plans and breaking dates just in case I needed help. She was my safe person when went out. She was the extrovert who wanted and deserved to have a good time.

I had to stop by campus to drop Stella off, anyway. She got out of the car, reminding me once again that she'll have somebody over very soon.

Shawn turned to me once we were alone. "Please stay with me tonight."

"I don't need you to deal with my sickness," I said firmly. "It's nothing personal-"

"Okay, stop for a second," he told me. Then he placed his hand on the shoulder of my seat. "I know you know how to handle yourself when you get sick. It's like, a plan you've had to make and adjust over time, and you know it like the back of your hand. I get that, you know how to take care of yourself. I just don't want you to do this plan alone."

"I won't be alone, I have Stella." By that I mean, she's on standby only if things go really wrong... which is never. I’m not that sick.

This time, though… I’ve only felt actual pain one time before this.

Shawn gave me a look. "She's gonna be busy tonight. She wants to be busy tonight."

We stared at each other for a while. My stomach was flipping for reasons unrelated to illness. My boyfriend had stupidly kind, gentle intentions, and stupidly pretty eyes. He also had a very comfy bed.

I sighed. "Fine."

~

After some tea and rest, I felt a little better. I felt good enough to hop into bed with my boyfriend for about twenty minutes. It was fine until he was on top of me...

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Shawn frantically said, moving off of me. "Oh god, I'm so sorry."

My face was scrunched with pain, and I tried to control my breathing. The soreness from earlier turned into a sharp pain in my abdomen that made me push Shawn away from me. It was kind of a mood killer to say the least, since it made him panic.

"Are you okay?" he asked, voice trembling. "How bad is it? What do you need?"

"Shh!" It wasn't intended to sound mean, but I was trying to focus on what my body was doing.

I struggled to sit up, so Shawn held my lower back to support me. He kept asking questions, but I was rapidly tuning him out. The pain didn't get any better or worse, but I was feeling something in my guts. I got up and dashed into the bathroom.

We're going to get just a little TMI. I wanted use the bathroom, but my bowels weren't having it. Then, I wanted to puke but my stomach wasn't having it. I didn't know what to do, so I just stayed on the floor in front of the toilet and let my body try to figure things out for itself.

I shouldn't have had popcorn at the movies. Sure, popcorn is light on the stomach, but Stella wanted extra butter, and I hadn’t eaten for hours. I knew what I was getting myself into, and now I was paying for it. Add popcorn to the list of foods that were now forever tainted with a bad memory.

Shawn came knocking on the door, his voice full of concern. "Honey, are you okay? Can I come in?"

I didn’t say anything but he let himself in anyway. He sat next to me on the floor, next to where I was leaning over the toilet. Delicately, he moved my hair from my face and held it back.

"I don't think I'm gonna puke," I told him, resting my forehead on the seat. My mouth was watering inexplicably, and I felt a tingle in my feet.

"Okay, then let's get you back to bed," he said gently, placing his hands on my waist to help me up.

Then, I actually puked. Yup, no more popcorn for me.

~

It goes without saying that I was up for most of the night. I only threw up that one time, but I felt nauseous until the sun peeked through the window. Not only that, I always got a bout of anxiety whenever things with my stomach got bad, and it intensified knowing that I wasn’t home at my dorm. I wasn’t in the comfort of my squeaky single size bed. I didn’t have my phone charging next to me here because the only other outlet was on the other side of the room. I felt so out of place and I wanted to run, but I knew I couldn’t because traveling would only upset my stomach more.

Shawn fell asleep when I reassured him that I wouldn’t spend anymore time in the bathroom. He was on his side facing me practically the whole night. When I felt okay enough to lay down, I put one of the extra pillows between us and faced away from him. He started stirring by the time I was finally sleepy.

When I woke up in the late afternoon, I was just grateful I didn’t have class on Fridays. I couldn’t get up even if I wanted to.

I rolled onto my back, only to find that I was alone. I rubbed my eyes, then quickly remembered that I fell asleep with smudged eyeliner, and I just made it worse. I sighed and looked out the window from where I lied. It had gotten cloudy throughout the day. Thank god, today was not a sunshine kinda day for me.

If only I had the energy to get off my ass and go back home where I wanted to be.

My eyes blankly stared at the ceiling. Whatever spirit I had left in me was slowly floating away. My incorporeal being was rising out of my physical being, until voices outside the bedroom caused me to come back to earth.

“Oh, let me just see her! Maybe I can help!”

A woman. I slowly moved onto my side, curling up under the blanket and trying to focus on the window. Then, I heard Shawn’s voice.

“No! Ah - I mean…” He was suddenly outside the door. “Let me see if she’s awake.”

Shit.

The door opened, but I didn’t move from my position. Shawn came up in my peripherals, and then he sat down on the empty side of the bed. His eyes met mine, and he smiled.

“Hey, you. How ya feeling?”

I blinked. “Tired… Not sick. Just tired.”

“As long as you’re not sick.” He brought a hand up to my head and stroked my hair. “Listen, my mom is here.”

“Why?” Seemingly innocent question, but it did make me feel some kinda way, and it certainly sounded like it.

“She comes every so often,” Shawn explained. “She’ll clean and do my laundry.”

Must be nice.

“I told her you were here,” he continued. “I told her you were sick, and she just wants to check on you.”

We had talked about me meeting his family. I joked about wearing a high ponytail with a pink scrunchie the way Meredith did in Grey’s Anatomy. Shawn replied by saying I’d be wearing a black scrunchie, duh. Clearly, it wasn’t supposed to be like this, the day after a particularly nasty flare up. I was severely unprepared and it was a couple of months too early. But how the hell am I supposed to turn his mother away when she was already here?

“I’ll go out there,” I told him. “Let me just wash my face first.”

Shawn looked pleasantly surprised. “Okay, great. We’ll be in the living room.” He kissed my forehead and got to his feet.

As I pushed myself out of bed, I noticed the persisting pain in my abdomen yet again. Not as bad as last night, but it was still there. I already knew how to handle this.

[bubypjm]

why bighit is trash

or, alternatively, a list of things that bighit, an entertainment company/music label, should start doing and stop acting like a small company.

im puting everything under a read more bcos its a lot, for one, and im also sure that not everyone wants to read it or cares lmao

a little disclaimer;  i speculate and connect things based off of the things we are shown/told, i will spoil some parts of their recent movie AND its not bighit-positive, obviously

okay to start this off, bighit released an official statement to say that bts will be going “on an official and extended period of rest and relaxation” and that’s honestly one of the best things that bighit has done for bts.

the statement is linked, but since i will be referring to a fair few points on it i will also attach it here

the issues start with the opening sentence.

“for the first time since their debut” bts will be going on an official and extended period of rest. to rephrase, for the first time in 6 years, the 7 men of bts will not be surrounded by cameras, will not be expected to attend any rehearsals or interviews and will not be expected to produce or write lyrics. they will not have any responsibilities tied to their work. or, that is what we all had assumed, but as we now know the members were expected to film content on what they do during their break and, if jungkooks video is anything to go by, they were also expected to edit and send it in to the company for “review”.

judging by the release/filming of Hoseok & Becky G’s CNS, it seems like their “break” does not include solo activities. or does bighit consider the building of ones own reputation as an individual artist an “extra” and not a part of ones work?

“enjoy the ordinary lives of people in their 20s, albeit briefly”

this just hurts. it was bighits responsibility to make sure that they got more chances to enjoy their lives.

the good

bighit reminding uglies to stay the fuck away from them during their short break.

okay, the statement aside, i want to talk about a few other bighit-bts related things.

bighit staff and sasaengs

- stalkers appearing in hoseoks bday vlive (no its not staff, the girls’ accounts were found on instagram. they were quite pleased with themselves) were was the security ? how did the girls know which room the boys were in ? doesn’t bighit rent out the entire hotel floor ? does that mean they were allowed in ? why ? did they pay ? do their parents have connections bighit could use ?

- giving away members clothes, providing concert entrance, giving away members numbers ect

the thing that occurred during hoseoks vlive was not looked into, as far as i am aware, however Jimin’s Gucci concert shirt being 'lent’ to a stalker was.

However, minimum to little effort was put into the case because no staff was fired, no disciplinary measures were taken and no consequences occurred.

- during either DNA or Fake Love comeback stages on music shows, some armys were not permitted entrance and some privileged people were taken backstage to meet the members (which is NOT allowed, at any point. those are PRIVATE areas for the idols to rest and prep for the stage) source 1 & more if you look around.

- not firing a manager that hit jungkook source (some speculate he was fired, others speculate he was removed from being a manager and took another position within bighit.)

- bighit restricting any and all interactions with the members among staff. according to one of the backup dancers during Not Today and/or Singularity, bighit staff was very strict about NOT speaking with the members.

take the last point as you will. I have my own thoughts about it

- no subs on army kit content, no subs for bangtan bombs (other channels have them. bighit claims themselves to be a global company but doesn’t move as such). its all well and good to say “you’re stanning a korean company, learn korean!” and this may work for bangtan bombs, but what about army kit content? why isn’t that subtitled? or should that be dismissed with “you don’t have to buy it”?

the good

- giving bts a private jet and not making them go through public entrances and exits. thank u bighit

the movie

this will contain spoilers.

- big hit staff filmed the members during their vulnerable moments.

jungkook nearly passing out, filmed and slotted into the movie. the members crying and clearly feeling emotionally vulnerable ? recorded and snipped into the movie. this would’ve been fine if the members were fine with it, but jungkook was clearly trying to hide his face from the camera and jimin expressed not wanting to show himself in bad conditions.

- treatment of bighit staff

we all know that jungkook had to sit out during some stages during the love-yourself tour. what we didn’t know was that he got stitches without any medication that would ease his pain because he had to go on stage.

jungkook hurt himself so badly that he needed stitches, but was not allowed anything to subdue the pain while getting the stitches because it would not make him stage-ready. the staff members watched as he screamed while getting stitches.

now, i don’t really care whether it was jungkook’s decision or not. nobody in their right mind would let someone they care about go through with something like that. there will be other stages, there will be other concerts. however, idk why i find this surprising since jungkook was hit by a staff member before and the only reason why he got fired was bcos it was spotted in the bg of a bangtan bomb and armys demanded for the man to be fired.

- secondly, jimin’s neck and dropping out of the graham norton show.

i cannot find the translation rn, but while deciding what to tell the fans with regards to what happened to jimin and why he isn’t able to perform with the rest, namjoon tries to opt for telling the truth in a gentle way while one of the staff members suggests a white lie as to not worry the fans.

this has also happened before with the korean vs english statement regarding jungkook’s heal injury. the korean explanation stated that it was serious, while the english one explained it more casually. i cannot find the sources currently, but if you look around yourself you can find them. 

bighit.

- keeping supreme boi employed

- forcing jimin and jin to sing in female key in fake love, despite both of them expressing their struggle with reaching such high notes.

- not providing a vocal coach while on tour (jimin had to ask jungkook for advice)

- vocal line still have not got their own studios despite expressing their want for it, yet txt members have their own studios already. source

- members having less and less influence over the groups music. even recently yoongi mentioned that the songs he makes don’t match with bts’ music/style anymore source

- bighit being immensely difficult to work with overseas (strict venue rules regarding staff, changing things last minute, not being time-efficient)

- leaving taehyung’s stage name out of promotional works/promo tweets

- not taking action against death threats made against taehyung

- forcing jimin to speak about his death threats during a live, global interview in korea

- not cleaning up the copyright matter over using michael jackson’s song “black or white” in the festa performance of jimin and jungkook - resulted in their performance being taken down 

- no bangtan bomb behind jimin creating his song “promise”, while recently there have been videos released of jins, jungkooks and taehyung’s solos

- bighit shooting down collaborations and picking and chosing the artists that collab with bts, despite the members wanting and expressing interesting in collaborations with said artist (why did we get a chainsmokers collab before a tinashe one? a khalid one?)

- bighits deal with dispatch. dispatch is known for exposing scandals and relationships among idols, so the fact that they get an exclusive peak into the bangtan life is interesting and rather worrisome.

-however, one of the dirtiest moves that bighit pulled was during the break between DNA and Fake Love. as we know now, that time was very hard for the members. it was in that gap that the members spoke of disbanding, there were rumours/concerns about jungkook’s well being and fans also pointed out taehyung’s odd state.

during this time, instead of allowing the members time and space to decide everything, bighit had applied for the legal copyright regarding everything bts. the group name was copyrighted, as were the members stage names, fandom name among other things (there are articles on naver, if you’re interested).

SPECULATION

i just want to stress that these are my thoughts and you are welcome to disagree and have your own opinions.

Although we know that the members have re-signed the contract with bighit for another 7 years, I do believe that their pens were pushed by bighit’s copyrighting run. the members had 2 choices; either bind yourself to another contract and stay with that which you have built for years, or drop everything and start anew. however, something tells me that bts didn’t sign the contract with no leverage.

namjoon had said previously that although the group started with 7 boys with the same goal, it now consists of 7 men on one boat, each with their eyes set on different horizons. i believe that with namjoon’s collaborations with more and more overseas artists (honne, fall out boy, lil nas x ect), he may have gotten himself more opportunities for solo work.

similar could be said about yoongi. the man is a musical genius and with his production of suran’s wine and heize’s we dont talk together, yoongi may also end up branching in that direction.

taehyung has expressed his interest in fashion and photography a lot over the past years. seokjin has not acted at all in his life, despite starting off to do just that. hoseok began to branch out with CNS but jimin and jungkook have seemingly little to no outside projects, either (though you could count wiom for jungkook)

the boys’ previous contract was, clearly, restricting and very demanding. i think that their new contract allows them a lot more freedom and room to establish a reputation as individuals. that isn’t to say, however, that bighit let the boys end bts as a whole and permitted them to go off and start solo careers.

from what is happening now and what has happened in the past, I do not believe that bighit would let bts disband, you can decide if that is for better or for worse. however, the only way to keep bts together and satisfied, is to give room for the members to do that what they want. i think that we may start to see some more solo projects from the members, and a lot more control and influence from the outside over bts’ music, concepts and management. ever since LY: Tear had been released, i find myself thinking that their next release will be the last one before a mass hiatus due to enlisting. this time, however, i feel like it may be their final release and concert tour before the group steps back for a while.  bighit debuted a new group and is pumping a lot of money into it. they had also recently obtained an entire new company that not only has a lot of trainees of its own, but also manages Gfriend - an already debuted and established group. bighit is no longer the little underground company that relied on 7 boys to bring it out of its debts. however, it will not let its biggest source of income fall away because, at the end of the day, bighit is a company. the most likely scenario, to me, is that once seokjin and/or others enlist, bts as ot7 will go on a break, but bighit will still get to cash in through the boys’ solo work. so, we may see sneak peaks of their solo careers here and there, but bts will remain active as 7 until it can’t no more.

[awfully-sadistic]

{{ Book talk: Friend Request

I finished Friend Request by Laura Marshall today.

I don’t quite remember when I bought it but it was sometime during the beginning of the month of December. Jeff and I went to Fry’s and scanned the book section looking for any more Kay Hooper books, especially her Bishop novels. Anyway, there wasn’t any though I did see Christine Feehan! A few of her books, I saw Dark Fire and one of the Leopard books? I know I went and told Dot about it when I got back.

Here is the summary for this book: 1989. When Louise first notices the new girl, Maria seems to be everything the girls Louise hangs out with aren’t. Authentic. Funny. Brash. Within just a few days, Maria and Louise are on their way to becoming fast friends. 2016. Louise receives a heart-stopping email. Maria Weston wants to be friends on Facebook. Long-buried memories quickly rise to the surface: cruel decisions made and dark secrets kept, the night that would change all their lives forever.

As she tries to piece together exactly what happened that night, Louise discovers there’s more to the story than she ever knew.

I’m going to dive into the book but I’ll keep my thoughts below a cut just in case anyone who stumbles upon this doesn’t want to read on spoilers and stuff. I’ma be spoiling things. That’s the point of these talks. I want to TALK ABOUT THE BOOKS I READ AND SHIT.

First off, I don’t care about Louise. She’s a freaking weak character. She has a group of friends she hung out with in high school. She wasn’t too much of a popular kid but her “best friend”, Sophie, was even though Sophie was the one that seemed to be on the fringes of that popularity herself. Claire and some other chick were the true popular girls and Sophie used to be close with Claire until they started to push her out because you know, Sophie became a third wheel... in a group of girl friends. As you can imagine, it was a cliche catty thing. I didn’t care for that aspect but I guess it showed how terrible girls can be to one another.

Another aspect I should mention is that this author is British and this book, you can tell, is British. I didn’t mind it and although some terms/slang went over my head, it wasn’t hard to tell what things meant through the context and it was very little I ran into this problem as an American reader. Further, what caught my attention about this book was the genre of suspense and mystery. Maybe a little horror. I thought it would be like the horror movies with social media and being online, in book form. The cover looked interesting.

The tagline says “Maria Weston wants to be friends. But Maria Weston’s dead. Isn’t she?” And that’s the sort of premise of the story. Louise gets this friend request from her after many years after high school on Facebook and it’s so strange, as someone who is constantly on the Internet but over the whole “Facebook” phase to hear people talk about it like it’s this... Idk, cool thing to use when in actuality, the people that seem to use Facebook are the older generation and it seems that this is where the author fits the mold. She does hit the nail on the nose where she describes Facebook as this community where people put all of their business on it, but only the storybook and fairy tale aspects what everyone is happy to put on display for their friends and mutual to brag to. I think nearly everyone can attest to their family members using Facebook for things like this. My family does it and I think Dot’s does, too. The author does a good job emulating this in her universe. 

So, Louise gets this friend request from Maria who had been killed back in 1989, during prom night. The mystery about this is whether Maria is alive or not. Louise is a divorced mother by now, having married and had a son with a guy she loved in high school, Sam. But Sam cheated on her and eventually had another kid with the woman he left Louise for. One of the things that bothered me about this aspect is that it is never quite explained what the text message said Louise kept bringing up that caused their marriage to splinter. Things like that aren’t explicitly said but seems to be a very important detail. I get that he cheated on her, she read something that she wasn’t supposed to... or however it was described, but the fact that she never writes that detail in makes it an itch I couldn’t scratch. It bothered me. I wanted to know. I never found out what that stupid text message said.

I do like Louise’s son and the relationship she had with him. Henry was an adorable little child and I adored the way she described some of the scenes between mother and son. It gave me better insight on how to write interaction with children, something I don’t quite run into despite wanting to write interactions for Dot and her children.

Going back to Louise, I found it hard to sympathize with her because like I said before, I didn’t like her. I found that she was weak and always had been since high school. She was making decisions that would have me all “Girl, WHY” and wishing she had done things differently instead of the route she had taken. She wasn’t UNBEARABLE like some female protagonists, but she was... stupid. But I get that she was also fearful. She had been carrying around this “secret” of hers since high school, feeling responsible for Maria’s death.

I felt sorry for Maria since I brought her up. She was a new transfer to Louise’s school and at once was ostracized. The summary made it sound like she and Louise were friends but I felt that hardly happened. What happened was that she and Louise hung out about two major times; one was when Louise had been ditched by Sophie (who went to hang out with one of the popular girls and wasn’t even a real friend to her but Louise wanted so bad to fit in with these girls) at lunch and Louise and Maria hung out. Louise, in a sense, used Maria whenever she couldn’t hang out with Sophie. 

Maria had these rumors surrounding her as soon as she moved to a new school In actuality, she had a stalker. This stalker put out horrid rumors about her that ruined her reputation at her previous school and somehow, this new school. Some kid that went to that school had a cousin that attended this new school and that was how these rumors seemed to persist with Maria. It’s quite sad. She was the type that stood up for herself even though she was being treated horribly. She mouthed off to Sophie for treating her like shit and she was kind to Esther, an old friend of Louise that she ditched in order to hang out with Sophie and the popular kids. Maria was a character that you could have liked, instead, we got weak ass Louise and her inability to stand up for herself. In all fronts. The only time she did something that was strong was 1) when her son went missing and 2) when she was being choked near the end of the book. BUT SHE FAILED ALL THE OTHER TIMES TO BE A STRONG CHARACTER. I guess it’s meant to display a whole, every-day jane or something, but like... c’mon. How many chances do you get to rightfully apologize to someone for being a little shithead in your youth? She’s had so many times to apologize to Esther with how she treated her, explain and come clean with so many things, but she kept thinking of herself. She kept saying she felt bad and sorry and regretted everything she had done and how she treated people but it wasn’t until her ass was cornered and she had no other path to take that she RIGHTFULLY apologized or explained herself to the people she should have in the beginning. I felt if you were really that remorseful, you would have done so earlier.

So I didn’t quite blame Esther for feeling distrustful of Louise as she did throughout their encounters. I just thought Louise was a weak protagonist and hard to relate to. Or perhaps I felt too much sympathy for the characters who were done wrongly and came to resent Louise. Sophie was too fucking ridiculous to outright hate; I knew she was a bitch and didn’t care too much for her. She was awful. But Louise was supposed to be the main character you were supposed to be sympathetic towards. I COULDN’T DO IT, lmao.

I suppose I should talk about what I liked about the book. I mean, I only read it on my spare time--which was anytime I wasn’t doing things on my computer which meant cooking and occasionally sitting down with it. I wasn’t in a hurry to read it until that last stretch where Louise went to her high school reunion. I guess that meant it was sort of like a slow build or that just may be because I had been reading slowly. I wasn’t bothered by it, though. I wasn’t taken out of the story, I was able to dive back into it every time I picked it back up. The author’s writing voice seemed good too considering it was her first published book. It wasn’t quite my favorite type of writing style (the book was written in first person, too) but it wasn’t bad. Not at all. Just different. And there wasn’t too many romantic points in it; the romantic aspects I guess I could count were when Louise would speak about her marriage to Sam. How much they loved each other (how much she loved him because she honestly gave him everything). Sam was... something else. I won’t delve too much into his story; I mean, for as involved in the book as he was, I just... didn’t get too much of an impression of him. I didn’t like Sophie more than him and that’s hilariously weird considering the outcome.

The italic chapters, portions where it was written in someone else’s POV, were confusing and I can’t think... why it would be part of the story. I mean, from what I can remember and gather about those small chapters was that... it was in the past. They were hints, I’m going to assume, but they just felt out of place and distracting to me. I didn’t care of those small chapters.

The hints of BDSM also threw me a little. But that was probably because it was mingled in with abuse. So it wasn’t quite real BDSM practices. Just that... Sam was a piece of shit and there was signs Louise couldn’t see and she mistakenly pegged it as BDSM.

I honestly... don’t know what else to talk about this book now that I’ve expressed the little things that were bothering me and how I overall felt about it. It was a pretty... okay read. Not GREAT but it wasn’t bad either. It wasn’t what I was expecting but I wasn’t quite disappointed with what I got.