#just kidding. the conflict gets so severe they all shoot kill each other

[pivsketch]

(sometime in between chip quitting his job to commit to wrestling 100% and the events of tagcen)

in a basil-less world, both of their lives would have had a slightly different trajectory. they wouldve been closer friends, maybe even have started a podcast together. lol

chip doesnt like taggart's deeply unserious aura, but they get along quite well when they actually have a conversation. unfortunately that happens less and less as time goes on. by the time chip's tagging with samson, he thinks hes too good to bother with talking to someone like taggart. and it doesnt help that samson doesnt particularly respect taggart either.

but yeah, as I said earlier they could've been better friends if basil wasn't around complicating things for the both of them. chip's jealousy and obsession towards basil is prime to ruin everything taggart has carefully worked for! oh no!

[soullessjack]

tbh a lot of the ways jack’s infantilization pops up is in discourse around him and dean and their relationship , especially after Mary’s death in game night. because everyone’s relentlessly clinging to the idea of jack as a pwecious widdle baby who can do no wrong, there’s this unanimous refusal to give him any accountability whatsoever for anything he does, particularly with killing mary and hurting dean so severely in the process. instead, everyone decides that dean is the bad guy for reacting to his childhood trauma unfolding again after he’d finally healed from it and got her back.

I mean spn fans fundamentally do not see jack as an autonomous person so it only makes sense that nobody can put him on equal footing in any of his relationship dynamics, but to vilify dean for having a very justified reaction to his fucking mother dying again is just an insane thing to do in the name of woobifying jack. yes, it was entirely accidental and yes, Jack is equally as traumatized by it, but that does not take away from the fact that what he did directly emotionally damaged sam and dean.

not only would a lot of fandom discourse benefit from realizing these are literally not normal functional healthy people dealing with normal situations that give them the liberty to approach said situations in normal functional healthy ways (dean promising to kill jack if he needed to in 13x02, & shooting jack in 13x23), but it would also benefit from realizing that jack is a grown ass invulnerable demigod with the capacity to cause a lot of major damage if he spins out of control, and he bears full responsibility for that damage (which is why it is actually so fucking stupid whej I see ppl say that jack becoming a baby would magically fix their conflict. no it fucking wouldn’t, you just don’t see jack as a full person with direct responsibility in said conflict and you don’t care about their relationship actually being healed mutually).

on the other hand, dean was reacting to a presumed threat almost immediately after losing two of his loved ones in a situation directly related to jack. he has every right to be wary and cautious, and given that he is actively traumatized and already an emotionally dysfunctional person from being abused by John, he isn’t exactly going to outlet his trauma healthily or behave in a way that miraculously breaks the cycle John created. I’m getting tired but lastly, ppl should also realize that jack is a grown ass adult with the emotional maturity to understand and forgive dean for the way he acted before—even while Dean actively struggles to forgive himself and tries to be as good a father as possible to make up for it.

Because again, their situation is not normal and they have no way of treating it or reacting to it normally. as far as jack knows and has seen of his powers, he is dangerous and is able to reach a point where he’s too much of a threat to keep alive. the tragedy of it is that he doesn’t want to be a threat, he doesn’t want people to fear or hate him and he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. that’s why he says “you were right all along” in moriah. between dean and jack, a huge facet in their relationship is the question of whether or not dean is right, and by the time they’ve reached a point of mutually seeing each other as father and son that question is up in the air as something neither of them want. jack never wanted dean to be right, and now that dean knows jack as a person and as his own kid he especially doesn’t want to be right anymore.

just. Please start thinking of Jack as an actual autonomous person. That is literally all it comes down to. It will open up your world

[stories-of-the-multiverse]

((And so!! Imma dewit now!!!

So, this is gonna be a long one, and it’s gonna be divided up into three sections.

Grace, Pico, which are both related to each other for surprising reasons, and the tentative third one is bi erasure.

Grace

So, I’ve expressed before my problems with how Grace is written. A Nice Girl that feels entitled to a man’s feelings when he doesn’t feel the same way. And word of god not only contradicting the narrative, but itself.

Now, why did they need to go the direction of the bitter ex? Who fucking knows! She’s supposed to be a role swap with Pico, but here’s the thing! Basegame Pico was fucking cordial when meeting with his ex! Even despite, you know, being hired to kill him.

There was no fucking reason to make Grace such a fucking brat. Especially considering the circumstances!

Think about it, Ben ran away from home with Pico without so much as a word. Frank already saw them together, so even if no one suspected Pico before, they certainly would now.

Not to mention, she fully believes he’s behind the shooting.

Even if none of the parents painted the picture for her, she probably would have reached the conclusion that Pico kidnapped Ben.

So why couldn’t the focus be Grace making a misguided attempt to rescue Ben? It would be a sort of mirror to Pico’s own attempt to protect Ben, and that would be a perfect source of conflict. And wouldn’t involve making Grace so fucking unlikable. And you can still hint she has unrequited feelings for Ben.

Now, a while back someone pointed out she’s supposed to be a product of the abusive household she grew up.

But that actually was not the intention. After all, according to Tama, she wasn’t abused, she was “overly sheltered”.

A statement which I have several problems with.

First of all, Ben outright admits to seeing parallels between his parents and her parents. Quote;

“You [the Fairests] tried to make me a mindless slave! Just like GF’s parents did to her!”

Now, for context, the Fairests abused the hell out of him. So the fact he saw similarities between both sets of parents, it’s very telling.

Also, “overly sheltering”? Is a form of abuse. Sorry not sorry. Just because she didn’t suffer violence doesn’t mean she didn’t suffer abuse.

It’s also heavily implied her parents manipulate her, not only by Ben, and unknowingly herself, but also Tama themself. I will get to the latter in a sec. For now, a quote!

“NO! MOMMY AND DADDY TOLD ME SO! THEY WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME!”

Girl is... straight up brainwashed.

And we may know a bit about the extent of her brainwashing. After all, she has body image issues. And Ben with his gift art is the only one that makes her feel better about her appearance.

Now, a heavily sheltered girl, meaning her parents would be picky about the content she consumes... And her only friend is fully supportive of her... Where do you think... she might have developed such an insecurity...?

And keep in mind, this kinda shit can lead to eating disorders. Fucking dangerous.

Even if this is just body dysphoria, Ben is still the only one trying to help her with her insecurity. Why aren’t the parents helping?

This still does not look good on them either way.

And now... let’s talk about that thing I mentioned.

So let’s suppose... her parents aren’t abusive.

You know who is, though?

The Fairests.

And according to Tama, both her parents and the Fairests manipulated her into thinking that she and Ben are meant to be together. And I doubt that wasn’t the only instance either.

See, abusive people are hardly ever abusive to just one person. They are a social parasite. The moment they can sink their teeth into you, you become their victim. No matter how many other victims they have.

Now, I doubt they were bold enough to do any physical harm to her. She’s not their kid, so unlike Ben, they don’t have full power over her.

But it’s arguably more insidious. Ben has physical proof. Grace does not. It is her word against theirs. Both sets of parents. I know from damn experience that your word against theirs hardly works. Even if you try to keep note of it.

All this tells me that Tama just has... a really narrow view on what abuse is. That you need to sustain physical injures, possibly scars, for it to be real abuse.

And as someone that has been physically abused when I was in elementary school [Though no scars to show for it as far as I’m aware], and emotionally abused all the way back to at least high school, it genuinely is upsetting to essentially be told, as someone that sorta relates to Grace’s experience, “Hey, by the way? Your abuse isn’t actually abuse. VuV”

This coupled with her being bastardized just for the sake of propping up the mod’s ship is fucking infuriating.

And with the ship in mind, on to part two!

Pico

First of all, fuck you, Pico would not disapprove of Ben’s friendships with the other BFs. What does that say about the knight in shining armor that rescued his abused boyfriend from the abusive birth givers?

Aside from rescuing and taking care of Ben, though, there really isn’t much to his character. He entirely revolves around Ben. You want to know why I think that?

First of all, where the hell is Darnell and Nene?

You know, Pico’s best friends in canon?

Why aren’t they even mentioned? Why does Pico’s relationships seem to either be Ben or people dating Ben’s friends?

Actually, now thinking about it, why is he even friends with Shaya and Neo!GF in the first place? What do they bond over, how to they hang out? Even Grace is described as a little sister to the two Picos from B3 and Neo mods. How the fuck does Toughie hang out with the GFs?

We don’t ever get any information on his relationships aside from Ben.

And that’s not the only thing we don’t get insight on.

Pico’s own baggage.

We see a glimpse of some of it in chapter three when Grace brings up the shooting. And we know he dropped out of high school because of it. But I don’t think that’s his only issue.

After all, he chose to rough it out on the streets as opposed to staying home. And that is despite not only how dangerous homelessness is, but him being believed to be a school shooter and therefore risking harassment. After all, who even tolerates school shooters? Even if you are cleared of a crime, the moment you’re accused, there is always gonna be someone that believes you committed it. And red hair ain’t exactly common, so he’d be pretty easy to recognize.

Despite all that, he decided to live out on the streets anyways.

Doesn’t that imply his home life was far from safe? What could possibly have been at home for him to risk it out on the streets?

Fuck if I know, the mod refuses to even imply it. Which is weird, because you’d think that’d be a point of empathizing and bonding with each other. You know, unless Tama doesn’t see whatever forced Pico out on the streets as abuse either.

Yeah in case you couldn’t tell, I’m still really fucking salty about the abuse shit.

And now... the tentative last part.

Bi Erasure

Okay, admittedly, even despite being pan, I feel a little... ill equipped for this, so this one is gonna be short and a little more wishy washy.

So in case you don’t know, BF is canonically bi.

However, in the Soft mod, he is gay. As in, only prefers men.

This is why I’m a little wishy washy, because on one hand, fuck bi erasure, but on the other hand, gay men deserve rep too.

Though, I will say this.

You don’t have to be a gay man to reject a woman. You don’t have to be a straight woman to reject another woman. You don’t have to be a straight man to reject another man. You don’t have to be a gay woman to reject a man.

You can be bi/pan/omni/poly/etc. and reject someone. Hell, you can be straight and reject someone of the opposite sex. Or gay and reject someone of the same sex. Your orientation does not dictate who you can and can’t reject. If you’re not into them, you’re not into them. Simple as.

My point is, Ben could have still been bi and rejected Grace, and that would have been just as valid.

If I am out of line with this, though, please let me know.

Aaaaand that is me bitching out the Soft mod.

I really do love the themes of the mod. I do.

But it falls flat for me when other major characters’ struggles are either glossed over and barely mentioned, or just dismissed as not a real struggle.))

[bookishnewt]

Incorrect Quotes w/ RotTMNT ocs

Just different incorrect quotes that fit these oddballs to some degree.

Cyrus Weaver

We got a free day now. What do you wanna do? Eat? Sleep? Nap? Snack?

Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

Do you even, cuddle, bro? Do you even lift, bro… each other up with kindness? Do you tell your loved ones that you care about them regardless of who is listening? DO YOU EVER RESOLVE CONFLICTS, EMOTIONAL ISSUES THROUGH COMPROMISE AND COMPASSION RATHER THAN ANGER AND DENIAL?!

I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me first.

War is heck!

Valkyrie "Kyrie"

Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.

Irene "Ren" Weaver

I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t “fit in” and I don’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without these stupid sunglasses on? That’s weird.

I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

Judith "Jude" Weaver

I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.

People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “you can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

I started school with straight A’s. Now I’m not even straight.

I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.

-Bonus, had Kyrie stick around long enough for snow day to happen-

Kyrie: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Leo: What? Kyrie: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

[ectonurites]

Who's the person in the red robin costume in those panels from robin you just posted?

ALRIGHT I got this last night after posting about this bit at the end of Robin, so the dude in question is Ulysses Hadrian Armstrong!

Originally introduced as 'The General', he's a kid that's super obsessed with military history and tried to take over the gangs in Gotham (after burning down his private boarding school) in his intro story. Bruce in the story describes him as 'can't be more than ten or eleven' and he is DRAWN that tiny, it makes some things very funny

(Detective Comics #655)

From the start, he is like, very willing to do whatever it takes for power and to play out his military dreams, he's very manipulative and murderous.

(Detective Comics #656)

His whole family except his mom... Does Not Like Him, because of ya know the murderous tendencies he's always exhibited. His mom just puts a blind eye to all of it, much to the rest of their frustration.

(Detective Comics #656 + Robin (1993) #19)

After the initial story in Detective Comics, Ulysses mainly shows up as an adversary of Tim's in the Robin book. They end up going against each other a handful of times

(Robin (1993) #36)

Tim also ends up keeping in contact with Ulysses' siblings (mainly his sister, Hillary) since they helped him out a few times and don't like all the stuff Ulysses gets up to either

(Robin (1993) #47)

After the above conflict gets settled (so like timeframe wise post-Cataclysm ish) he just kinda stops showing up and causing trouble for a long while.

Until several years later (Ulysses on page says he spends two years preparing in #179 so at least that much in-universe time which vaaaguely works out) he resurfaces in Gotham to cause problems again!

He first has a cameo (where it's not yet revealed who he is) in Robin #176 as he steals the Red Robin uniform Jason had ditched during Countdown out of a dumpster. Soon after we see him lurking in the uniform, following Tim around, and Jason's pissed someone took his old suit (even though he's the one that threw it away LMAO)

(Robin (1993) #176)

We actually see him as Ulysses (now having had a HUGE growth spurt) before it's quite revealed he's Red Robin, while Steph crosses paths with him. This is when Steph is going behind Tim's back for Batman, creating challenges for him to try to make him into a better hero. She approached Ulysses to possibly work with him on this, but he shoots her, it's a whole thing. Tim figures out Ulysses is the one acting as Red Robin, and this all eventually leads to the situation where Tim gets the very bad burns in the warehouse explosion.

But yeah basically Ulysses decided he wanted to become Tim's personal version of the Joker... so it's a lot. (in rereading stuff to make this post I've noticed it's actually kinda foreshadowed all the way back in Ulysses and Tim's first story together, where Tim initially writes things off as not a big deal and Bruce brings up how the first time he went against the Joker he thought he was 'just another clown' in Robin #19)

After the warehouse explosion stuff when Tim gets hold of the Red Robin costume, Ulysses steals another person's identity- Lonnie's! He becomes the new Anarky, as around this time it's revealed he's poisoned Lonnie leaving him in a comatose state hooked up to a computer. Ulysses basically just wants to make the city burn, and Tim tries to talk him down by bringing his parents to the scene as that's something that had worked in the past... but his police contact had let the parents bring Matthew and Hillary (his siblings) with them and... things went very wrong with the bombs Ulysses had already put in place.

(Robin (1993) #182)

Ulysses blames Robin for his siblings' deaths (and I mean Tim in a lot of ways blames himself too, but ultimately it was still Ulysses' bombs that killed them) and so later during Red Robin he resurfaces and tries to exact his revenge. He goes about killing several boys who fit the description for Robin/Red Robin as he doesn't know Tim's identity, not really caring how many he has to kill until he gets the right one.

Lonnie from his computer grid leaks info about what Ulysses is doing to Tim, to try to help Tim take him down and stop him from killing anyone else.

(Red Robin #16)

But when Tim confronts him, Ulysses threatens Lonnie's life and Tim chooses to go save Lonnie over making sure Ulysses gets arrested, and that's the last we see of him pre-reboot!

The Prime Earth version of him shows up in Tynion's Detective Comics run in Rebirth but I'm out of image space to try to explain that, so maybe some other time.

Overall Ulysses is like, one of Tim's bigger reoccurring villains that I get kinda surprised people don't talk about more, especially since he does show up in Red Robin which I feel is the Tim content that gets read most often by people.

[finnsgrin]

Unspoken Love - Jasper Jordan

Jasper Jordan x reader

From my Wattpad: inanoncriminalwayy

GIF: juhnmorphy

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

After his unfortunate encounter with the Grounders, you confess your feelings for Jasper, fearing his life is slipping away and you'll never have the chance to tell him.

SEASON 1 SPOILERS

Word count: 5,570

Published: June 14, 2020

TW: Blood and pain

A/N, PLEASE READ! Hey everyone! This is my first ever The 100 Imagine! I know it's long, but what else do you have to do while quarantined? I hope you like this Imagine! If you use other pronouns, just replace them with the ones I used in this Imagine. I used she/her, because that's personally what I use.

xx, El

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

♡Masterlist♡

"Please please PLEASE be safe."

Lack of oxygen on the Ark was a luxury compared to how much air your best friends Jasper and Monty were being deprived of as you held them both tightly in a group hug.

"(Y/N)...can't...breath." Jasper patted you quickly several times on the back, awkwardly trying to escape from your embrace.

You released them, giving an apologetic smile.

"We'll be fine. We're just gonna get food and water, and we'll be back before nightfall." Monty gently reassured you.

That was what scared you the most.

How were they so calm in a situation such like this?

Hurdled from the sky onto the ground which wasn't even 100% survivable, miles away from the fallout shelter you were supposed to be at, with 100, (now 98) teenage delinquents who had no adult supervision whatsoever.

Yeah, what could go wrong?

You took one last look at Jasper, who was adjusting his black goggles on his forehead, and gazing in awe at the green forest which surrounded you.

Without warning, you flung into his arms.

He stumbled back, off balance.

"Woah, (Y/N), chill out. We'll be fine." He laughed, hugging you once more.

"Why don't I get a hug like that?" Monty pouted, jutting his lip out, a smirk dancing on his lips.

You smiled, gifting one of your famous hugs to the boy.

Monty broke away, grinning, and turned to Clarke Griffin, who was now calling out orders to those on the ground.

"Okay, everyone, listen up! Finn, Jasper, Monty, Octavia, Wells, Bellamy and I are all going to the mountain where were originally supposed to land. We'll be grabbing everything we need for a day or so, and then we're all gonna hike there together. (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is in charge. Out of all of us, she paid the most attention in our survival classes. If you even have a prayer of getting through the night without being eaten alive, I strongly advise that you listen to her. Do I make myself clear?"

Disapproving murmurs could be heard around camp, mainly from John Murphy and his group of friends.

"Who made you Queen of the ground?" Murphy spoke up, several people agreeing with him.

Bellamy pushed his way towards the front of the crowd, causing everyone to quiet down.

"No one did. But Clarke's right. Out of all of us, (Y/L/N) is the one who knows what to do. Now you can run off by yourself, or you can pitch in and have a shot at surviving."

All eyes trailed on me, and I couldn't stop the blush that crept on my cheeks.

I never enjoyed being the center of attention. Now I had to babysit 90 rebellious teenagers?

There was no way they were ever going to listen to me. I didn't even commit a crime! I was framed. We have nothing in common except that we were all born on the Ark and flung to the ground. It was just pure luck that Monty and Jasper happened to be on the drop ship. I could trust no one but them.

The 7 teens made their way to the woods, and I felt panic surge through me.

I had liked Jasper for the longest time.

I've always been a closed book. You're lucky if you get through chapter one.

But Jasper and Monty know everything about me.

The one thing they both don't know, is my love for Jasper.

Normally, I would trust Monty, like I did with everything else.

But this was different.

The boy who defended me when I was getting bullied and pushed around by John Murphy.

The boy who helped me with my science homework.

The boy who made me laugh when a smile seemed impossible.

We had sat across each other on the drop ship, fear evident in both of our eyes.

Even then, when death could have been minutes away, I still didn't have the guts to tell him how I feel.

"Jasper!" I caught his wrist, the touch familiar to me.

He turned, eyebrow raised, waiting for a response.

I chickened out.

"Your shoes untied." Was the best I could come up with.

He smirked at our inside joke.

The day we had met was the first day of kindergarten, and I was wearing a pair of my moms old slip on shoes.

Jasper came up to me with a red crayon in his hand, and told me with a smile that my shoe was untied.

I frowned, looking down at my feet.

"But I don't have laces." I had explained, perplexed.

He laughed, explaining the joke and then introducing me to his friend, Monty.

But we were naive school kids then who had no worries other than if an asteroid was going to strike the Ark.

"Let's go!" I heard Bellamy Blake, the oldest of us all, call to Jasper who I was still holding on to.

It's now or never, (Y/N).

"Jasper, we gotta go, man!" Monty jogged back, tugging on his arm.

I let go, and he was gone.

Tears pricked my eyes and I felt stupid.

What if that was the last chance I ever had? What if he got eaten by a giant worm?

I shook my head, forcing the bad out.

Now, all I could think of was positive.

It took me a few seconds to realize that a group had gathered around me. Some looking bored, others scared.

"So, what do we do now?" A girl with her arms crossed over her chest asked me.

I blinked, reminding myself that I was now in charge.

Thanks, Clarke.

I made a mental note to give her a piece of my mind as soon as things settled down.

Back on the Ark, I was often the first choice parents had when they needed a babysitter.

Kids loved me, and I connected with them effortlessly.

Something told me a group building activity wasn't going to happen down here.

I cleared my throat, my mind racing.

Yes, I had paid the most attention in our survival classes, but now it seemed like everything I learned had been erased.

"Well? Do you know anything, or not?" John Murphy was tapping his foot impatiently.

Part of me wanted to snap back with sass, something I was particularly good at.

But this was no time for conflict.

If there's one thing I know about kids, it's that they hate being told what to do.

But these weren't just any kids.

Some of them were here for murder.

"There are 90 of us in all. We're all going to divid equally and do our share. If you don't wanna do anything, that's fine. Just note that you won't be having dinner tonight."

The few people who had secluded themselves from the group joined us.

I began counting off, making sure to keep Murphy with me as I was clearly the only one who had self control.

Anyone else would gladly tear his head off.

I had ten people working on the drop ship, cleaning up the inside.

Eighteen more were scavenging what they could and bringing it outside, as well as picking up debris on the outside.

A few feet away from where we landed were a field of flowers, several which I knew to be edible.

Twenty of us plucked primrose, thistle, dandelions, rose hip, and daisies.

I had another twenty scavenge for pine nuts along the trunk of trees, and strip the needles for tea.

Ten more were starting fires, and another ten setting snares in the forest, which I had to teach them how to do.

It was good, having something to take my mind off of Jasper.

With John Murphy by my side, I had a lot more to think about.

Why hadn't anyone killed this boy?

Could I kill him now?

Why did he talk so much?

"Am I gonna get dinner tonight? You're not letting me do anything." He grumbled as I helped a girl assemble her twitch up snare.

You'll be lucky if you aren't dead by tonight. I'll kill you myself. I thought to myself.

"You are doing something. You're my...apprentice. The only one who has enough strength to tell people what to do. There's a sense of authority in you. You've already watched me make the fires and snares and okay the plants. If anything were to happen to me, you would take my place."

That was a downright lie.

I would trust a wild pack of wolves before I put my trust in John Murphy.

But my lie seemed to appease him, and he was quiet for a few minutes.

I knew there was water somewhere, which is why I didn't send anyone for it.

Vegetation was so evident, and plants were lush and beautiful. I could hear the roar of a stream nearby.

Besides, I didn't want anyone out of my sight.

Turns out with 88 people working feverishly, the job is done fairly quick.

The drop ship was cleaned out, the bodies buried, plants picked, and nuts peeled.

Everyone collapsed on the ground, exhausted.

"Good work everyone. I'm gonna take these plants down to the stream and wash them off. Those who set snares, please set some more, or teach others how to do so."

Someone had managed to scrounge up a makeshift metal pot from inside the drop ship, and several sheets of thin fabric.

If it were up to me, I would have gone to the stream by myself. A few minutes of alone time were all I really needed.

But, it wasn't up to me.

This was life or death.

"Murphy, I need you to come with me. Bring your friends, too. I need strong people to carry back the water."

Feeding the ego of cocky boys is so easy.

Murphy and his friends agreed to go, flexing their muscles as they walked along the path of the woods with me.

"Who's watching camp while we're gone?" One of Murphys friends asked, wiping his sweaty brow with the back of his hands.

Shoot.

I knew I had forgotten something.

"I'm sure they can all manage for a few minutes."

I hoped so.

"You all worked really hard. I think everyone is too tired to start a fight."

I hope that was true, too.

We reached the stream which wasn't too far from camp. It wasn't big by any means, but it was enough to hydrate and clean us.

Murphy and his friends beamed from ear to ear, and I stopped them before they could continue with their plan.

"Wait until we clean and collect. THEN you can hop in."

That seemed to be agreeable enough, after I explained that we would be swallowing their sweat if they got in now.

I took the greens, and bundled them together in a sheet of cloth, and bunched the material together, then dunked them, giving it a shake.

As the boys frolicked in the water, my mind wandered back to Jasper.

How long had they been gone?

An hour? Two?

What if they never came back? What if I was now the mother of these criminals?

"That's enough playing. We gotta get back." I stood from the flat rock I was sitting on, and ignored the grumbled complaints from the soaked boys.

It was a relief that I had asked several people to come along. There was no way I could carry that giant vessel full of water on my own.

Thankfully, things were more or less the same when we arrived back at camp.

Some people fanned themselves with sheets of metal found in the drop ship.

Others dozed on the grass, occasionally swatting away a bug.

But the best thing was my group of snarers holding up several fat rabbits that must have stumbled into their traps.

Everyone cheered, engrossed by the sight of fresh meat.

I smiled, setting the plants by my feet.

"Excellent! We'll have a lovely stew tonight!" I announced, examining the prey.

Water was boiling, greens were being sorted, and rabbit was being skinned.

"They're back!" I heard someone call.

I set down the rabbit I was currently breaking the legs of, and I hopped up.

My eyes searched for Jasper, more than excited to present to him the lovely meal we were able to have tonight.

I wondered what they had brought back with them.

But I didn't see Jasper.

1,2,3,4,5,6...

Six?

Six of our people sprinted into camp, faces red and sweat drenched clothes.

"Everyone in the drop ship! Move, move!" I heard Bellamy scream.

Jasper? Where was Jasper?

"Where's Jasper?" I ran to Monty, who looked like he was about to pass out.

He shook slightly, and extended his trembling hand to me.

Clutched tightly in between his fingers, were Jaspers goggles.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Confused and frightened glances were exchanged as we all stumbled into the drop ship, abandoning the food, and the boiling water over the fire.

Panic surged through me once more as I struggled to make sense of our new reality.

"What happened?"

"Is he dead?"

"Did you make it to the mountain?"

Questions were being thrown like dodgeballs in gym class.

I blinked, adjusting my eyes to the dimly lit space in the drop ship.

Bellamy had closed the door.

Claustrophobia crept over me and I felt sick.

The only thing keeping me steady was Monty's arm, which I was clutching like a lifeline.

"Everyone shut up!" Bellamy's booming voice echoed throughout the small space, and we all covered our ears as the sound bounced back to us.

All fell silent.

"Where's the one with the goggles?" A girl with a big mouth asked.

Bellamy clenched his jaw, and looked at the ground, frustration radiating off of him.

"I need you all to remain calm." He said in a voice that wasn't calm whatsoever.

Murphy scoffed.

"Calm? You run through the woods like Bigfoot is chasing you and you want us to remain calm?"

No one argued with this.

"We're not alone here on the ground." Clarke began.

A blanket of fear rested upon all of us.

"What do you mean, not alone?" A girl by the name of Harper spoke up.

"I mean what I just said. We were attacked on our way to the mountain and whatever it was took Jasper with them." Clarke struggled to remain composed.

I felt my breath catch in my throat, and a strangled sob escaped my chapped lips.

Everyone was in an uproar now, screaming and wailing.

I sunk to my knees, holding the goggles to my chest.

Hot tears streamed down my face and I let out a strangled cry.

Why didn't I tell him?

I let my insecurities get in the way and I couldn't tell him that I loved him?

And now he was as good as dead.

My shoulders shook, and Monty knelt down next to me, tears trailing down his cheeks as well.

"We'll find him. I swear to you, we will find him, (Y/N)."

He sounded like he needed some reassurance himself.

Someone was wailing. The kind of cry that made you want to cover your ears and hide away forever.

It took a moment to come to the realization that I was the one making the sound.

The only sound now was my sobs and ragged breath. My fellow inmates backed away, allowing Bellamy a clear path to where Monty and I were situated.

I felt an unfamiliar touch on my shoulder.

It was Bellamy, and he looked at me with determination.

"We will find him. But right now we need to lay low." He spoke softly.

Anger welled inside me.

"If it were Octavia, you would have a search party out right now! What makes Jaspers life any less important?" I hissed, venom coating every word.

Bellamy held his tongue.

No one argued against me, but no one exactly agreed with me either.

"We leave at first light. Those who want to volunteer, come see me." He announced, walking away.

Monty and I held each other, sobs wracking our bodies.

I spent a good portion of the night bawling my eyes out.

I felt kind of bad. Monty held me, as calm as he could be in this situation, telling me stories and reciting my favorite poems.

When we all had settled down for the night, some of us asleep, I heard Murphy a few feet away from us talking in a hushed voice.

"Now we're all hungry because that one chick didn't bring any of the food in here. It's all outside probably being eaten by whatever the hell took Jasper."

If I had the energy, I would have ripped Murphy's throat out right then and there.

But my chest was tight from all of the crying, and dehydration was setting in.

"Come on, man. The girl just lost her boyfriend. We can go a night without dinner." One of Murphy's cronies stood up for me.

Boyfriend?

Did people really think we were a couple?

Maybe it falls on me and how I reacted.

I had been awake, counting my breaths.

How many did Jasper have left?

"You're in love with him." Monty spoke, disrupting the quiet.

"What?" I attempted to play it dumb.

He scoffed, sitting up.

"I see the way you look at him, (Y/N). It's like...all the stars in the galaxy can't even compare."

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say or do in this situation.

"I do love him, Monty. I really do."

A fresh set of tears welled up in my eyes and began to spill.

"And I never even got to tell him." I cried.

Monty shushed me, rubbing my back soothingly.

"We'll get him back. I know we will. But for right now, we can't dwell on the past. Try and get some sleep." He smiled down kindly at me.

I didn't sleep at all that night.

Go figure.

I pretended to, though. For Montys sake.

He must have been up for two hours before he finally succumbed to sleep himself.

Maybe it would have been best if I had slept that night.

There were no windows on the drop ship, so there was no way to tell when it was morning. So I listened carefully for the sounds of the crickets to subside and the chirps of the birds to arrive.

I jumped to my feet, accidentally stepping on Murphy's hand.

"Ow! What the hell?!" He shouted, still half asleep.

"It's daylight. We have to go find Jasper." I shook Monty awake, my eyes on a frantic search for a sleeping Bellamy.

I found him by the door, near Octavia.

"Bellamy-Bellamy wake up." I shoved him several times, and he awoke with a "Snork?"

"We have to go find Jasper. Get up." I bent over to re-lace my shoes, but was stopped in my tracks.

"(Y/N), (Y/N), slow down." He sprung up, and placed both of his hands on my shoulders.

I wondered if he had even slept at all. Deep purple bags hung low over his eyes.

"No, I'm not going to slow down. We have to go. Who are the volunteers?"

I pivoted around to Monty, but Bellamy twirled me to face him.

"(Y/N), you're not going. You have to stay here at camp." Bellamy spoke the words slowly.

I did a double take.

That had to be some sort of sick joke.

"Like hell I am. Jasper's my-."

"I know. I know. But you have to stay here. You did so good leading the camp yesterday. I need you to stay here."

Several emotions registered on my face at once.

Confusion, anger, betrayal...

"If it was Octavia out there and someone tried to stop you-."

"Stop bringing Octavia into this. Besides you're dead on your feet. If anything happened I doubt you would be able to escape in time." He interrupted once again.

His words weighed heavy.

He was right. I was exhausted. Staying up all night getting over the potential death of my long time crush/best friend tore me to pieces.

"Maybe Jasper is literally dead on his feet. What would be the irony of that?" Murphy's snide comment earned a few chuckles from those around him.

I shoved past Bellamy, and charged towards Murphy, who's smirk turned into shock.

"Do you think this is a fucking joke Murphy?!" I screamed as he avoided a harsh slap to the face.

"Woah, woah!" Bellamy held me back as I screamed obscenities at Murphy who backed away, sneering at me as if I were the insane one who was making disgusting jokes.

I struggled for a bit, and collapsed against Bellamy's chest, sobbing.

I was so angry.

Angry at myself for being so weak.

Angry at Murphy who couldn't be serious for five minutes.

Angry at Bellamy and Clarke and everyone else who didn't keep Jasper safe.

"I love him! I love him, Bellamy. Please, bring him back. Bring him back alive." I gasped, collapsing to the ground, Bellamy falling with me.

"We will. I will. I promise." Bellamy forced me look at him, and he turned to Clarke.

He told Clarke that she needed to stay here and start building a wall around the camp. I was clearly in no state to do much of anything.

That made me angry, too. If I had just gotten some shut eye last night I could have gone with the search party.

Monty was suddenly in front of me, his eyes blood shot, voice clear.

"(Y/N), listen to me. Are you listening to me?" He shook my shoulders harshly, and I nodded my head.

"No matter what happens, if we find Jasper or not, you need to stay strong. It's what he would want."

How could he say that?

IF we find Jasper?

We will find him!

Even if it meant I had to search the entire planet and beyond.

Clarke was suddenly down next to me, turning my head towards her, staring intently into my bloodshot eyes.

"She's definitely exhausted. Dehydrated, too. Monty, I think it's best if you stay here with her. I'll get her some water."

I could tell Monty was upset that he couldn't go either, but, we both needed each other right now.

He took a seat next to me, and draped an arm around my shoulder.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

The remainder of the day was a blur.

I vaguely recall a cup of pine needle tea being pushed to my lips, and someone trying to persuade a few pine nuts in me.

I drank the tea, but was too nauseated to eat anything.

Clarke and the rest of those who stayed behind worked on a wall/fence. I caught glimpses of it outside the drop ship door. It consisted of scraps from the ship, and large planks of tree bark.

I dozed in and out occasionally, but awoke to the slightest of sounds.

Monty was always there to calm me down.

It must have been noon, when there was a series of shouts that awoke me from my twelfth nap of the day.

Clarke rushed in, shoving scraps aside and making room on a flat surface that served as a makeshift table.

I bolted upright, a nasty case of vertigo settling into my brain which was still fuzzy from lack of sleep.

My heart stopped.

Either they had found him, or there was a new causality.

Bellamy, Finn, and Wells were carrying a half conscious Jasper, whose face was green and beaded with sweat.

"Get him on the table!" Clarke demanded as she searched frantically for something.

He was shirtless, a large scab like wound smack dab in the middle of his chest, blood and pus oozing from it.

Monty gagged, and ran out of the ship.

I could hear him vomiting violently.

I didn't blame him.

Jaspers eyes shot open, and he let out a mangled groan, flailing his arms around.

"Keep him still!" Clarke's voice sounded far away.

I rushed to his aid, and took one of his hands which was dirty and covered in covered in grime.

"Jasper, Jasper can you hear me?" I squeezed his hand.

He groaned again in response, tears running into his ears.

I wiped them away.

"You're gonna be okay. You're safe now. You're back at the drop ship. Clarke is going to make you better." My words were thick and it was hard to talk.

Clarke shooed everyone else away, only a few acceptations allowed to stay.

"Finn, go get me a wet rag." Clarke's voice trembled.

That wasn't a good sign.

The doctor was supposed to be calm.

"Can you save him?" I asked, hardly wanting to know the answer.

She grew silent.

"I'll do my best." She spoke.

Jasper was still screaming, and he weakly squeezed my hand.

"Make it stop, please, make it stop." He begged through the wails of agony.

My heart broke.

What could I do?

I would take the pain in a second.

I would do anything.

"Jasper, just focus on my words, yeah?"

What was I supposed to even talk about?

The Ark? The ground?

Both subjects were painful.

He let out a cry as Clarke ever so gently prodded his collarbone with her fingers.

"What the hell?" She frowned, examining the gash more intently.

"What is it?" Bellamy took to her side, intrigued.

Clarke was quiet for a moment, her brows furrowed, confused.

"Whoever, or, whatever did this to him cauterized the wound. He would have bled out by now."

What?

That made zero sense.

Why would you kidnap someone, stab them, and then heal them?

Jasper cried again.

"Don't you have anything for the pain?" I practically begged, already knowing the answer.

"We would probably have something if we were at the mountain. But the only thing we have now is time."

Time?

How much time did he have left?

Jaspers hand went limp, and my blood went cold.

Clarke placed her hand on his forehead.

"He's burning up. I need wet cloth, and lots of it."

She turned to Bellamy, who left in a second.

"He's still breathing, but barely. It looks like an infection. I'm gonna have to reopen the wound, clean it, and recauterize it."

I felt acidic bile rise in my throat.

For Jaspers sake, I prayed he would stay unconscious.

I think Wells was telling me what happened, and how they found him, but it's like everything went static.

Bits and pieces of his sentences wormed their way into my shattered mind as I gripped the metal table and Jaspers hand.

Jasper screamed, his back arching, blood spewing all over his chest and my face.

"(Y/N), I need you to keep him still. I'm almost finished cleaning it. Someone get me a hot knife!"

Jaspers eyes found mine, his wild and frantic.

"(Y/N), please make it stop. It hurts so bad! Make it stop!" He sobbed.

Tears of my own fell onto his pale skin.

I struggled to find my voice.

"Jasper, I know it's hard, but you need to stay still so Clarke can help you, okay? You're almost done. The worst is over."

Was it?

He screamed again, squeezing my hand. Quick breaths escaped from his cracked and bleeding lips.

"I...I never thought I would see you again." He admitted, sighing as someone draped a dripping cloth across his forehead.

Neither did I.

"I knew they would find you." I lied.

He blinked in response.

"I'm gonna cauterize it now, okay? Jasper, this is gonna hurt."

Clarke pressed the blazing metal to the gash.

A burnt flesh smell filled the drop ship as Jasper screamed.

Clarke dropped the knife, breathing for the first time in minutes.

"Done, it's over. We just need to get his temperature down." She began to lay more wet cloth on various parts of his body.

Easier said than done.

For the next few hours, Jaspers temperature ranged from blistering hot to the touch, to cold with sweat.

Sweat poured from his entire body, leaving the table slick with moisture.

He was delirious, reaching his hand out for something, and calling for his mother.

Invisible shadows made him scream.

At last, he settled down, his hand still in mine.

"I'll take it from here, (Y/N). You deserve a break." Monty appeared by my side, extending a cup of water to me.

He was right. I needed to get away. I needed to find a desolate spot and just curl up in a ball, close my eyes, and deem this all as a crazy dream.

Smiling kindly, I gently let go of Jaspers hand.

But Jasper used whatever strength he had left in him to hold fast to me.

"(Y/N)...stay." He slurred.

I pushed back disheveled black bangs away from his sweaty forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere." I whispered.

A ghost of a smile danced on his lips.

"I...I love you." He murmured.

I blinked, unsure of what to say or how to react.

"I love you too, Jasper." I whispered, my voice hardly audible.

His lips curled up once more, and sleep overcame him.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Three weeks later, Clarke said Jasper was okay to go on short walks for brief periods of time, as long as he had someone with him.

More often than not, it was Monty or me.

The fence had been built, and several stations set up around camp.

Animal skinning, water purification, and food storage were the most busy.

I was praised for my wilderness expertise, and held classes for those who had absolutely no idea what they were doing.

At the end of a class where I was teaching how to tell healthy rabbits apart from rabbits who had rabbit fever, Jasper appeared by my side.

"Gosh! You scared me." I laughed.

He had lost a significant amount of weight, but his smile remained the same.

"You're not supposed to be out of bed without someone." I scolded him.

"I'm not alone. I'm with you. Take a walk with me?" He extended his arm, and we walked with ours interlinked.

It was a slow process, but I loved seeing the look on his face when a bird flew by or the wind rustled the leaves on a tree.

Pure joy.

I felt myself falling more in love with him each and every day.

I had erased the day he had been carried back after serving as a dartboard.

Wiped the words that were exchanged.

He didn't remember them, so why should I?

He probably didn't even mean them in the way I did.

Friends tell friends all the time that they love them.

It was like a twelve pound weight had been lifted off my chest, after telling Jasper how I felt.

It didn't matter if he remembered it or not. I said it, and it was done and over with. No need to bring up the nightmare he had gone through.

"I remember, you know." Jaspers feet slowed down even more, if that were possible.

I turned my head to face him, confused.

"Remember what?"

He grinned, a blush creeping its way to his cheeks.

We were stopped at the back of the drop ship, where the fewest people were, but with the most weapons.

He took a deep breath.

"The night I was found. I-."

"Jasper-."

"No, let me say it."

Great, now I was gonna get friend zoned in a place I couldn't even leave.

Not that it mattered much, anyway. Jasper was alive, and that's all that I cared about.

"I love you, (Y/N). I have for the longest time and...and I thought I was going to die. I had to say it. At least once. And I know you said it back but you were probably just saying it to be nice and I-."

I stood poised on my tiptoes, crushing his lips with mine.

He shut up, kissing me back.

I was careful of his chest. Careful to keep my distance from it.

But he pulled me close, his hands gentle on my waist, mine on his neck.

We pulled apart, breathless.

"I've been wanting to do that for the longest time." He smiled, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear.

I blushed, leaning in for another kiss.

"Finally!" I heard a familiar voice behind us.

Monty stood there, grinning with two thumbs up.

Jasper gave him a death glare that screamed get the hell out of here or so help me I will break both of your thumbs.

"Finally! Took you two long enough! I was worried I had to go to plan B and use the power of forged love letters," Monty crossed over, patting Jasper on the back, which earned a few winces.

"I guess all it took was a near death experience. Nothing too extreme."

We all laughed, well, Monty and I did. Jasper just kind of smiled and tried to refrain from laughing.

"I guess this means we're a couple?" Jasper looked at me hopefully.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I thought you would never ask."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

♡Masterlist♡

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[soukokuwu]

↳ genre: angst

↳ characters: dad!chuuya, wife!reader, you guys have a child

↳ synopsis: a small look at how he handles himself in the aftermath of the catastrophe.

↳ warnings: implied death

↳ word count: 1,689

↳ requested by anonymous || Do whatever you want have s/o killed by one of Chuuya's enemies or die in childbirth idc which one you choose or how you do it JuSt maKe iT hURt

Chuuya sits in the living room, in the dim opalescence of the moon, picture perfect memories scattered on the coffee table before him. He takes a sip of shiraz as he carefully appraises the photo in his hand, thumb delicately grazing over the smile set on your face.

You were so beautiful.

No, not like those typically featured starving adolescents on countless magazines, covered in so many products they barely appear human. Not in that way. You were much more.

Your kind of beautiful was a smile so freely given, a sign of how tender your soul was. It was that spark in your eye — the one that showed him you were always up for an adventure. They held such an intelligence and serenity that he couldn’t help but be prisoner to them. Your kind of beautiful was a mind singularly practical and sagacious.

Your kind of beautiful... was who you were.

And the most precious beauty you graced him with in this life, he thinks, would be the faint memory of your voice muttering out an “I love you”, a phrase that rolled off your tongue so smoothly like birdsong, forever echoing in his heart.

He spends every night like this, as he has for the past twelve years. A nightly routine, brought about by a nameless sadness which is always born of moonlight. And each time, the colours of the day will fade into the black, and it gets dark with unutterable sorrows.

Your death haunts the recesses of his memory. What was supposed to be the happiest day of your lives turned into his worst nightmare. Chuuya can’t remember how many times the scene plays back in his head; the doctor apologising and the sounds all turning into muffled feedback right after, the blood staining your hospital gown, the sounds of his screams muffled by the blanket covering your hollow shell and the gentle touch of Kouyou trying to pry him away from you. It didn’t matter how much he held on to you anyway, Chuuya had already lost you to death’s grip.

The incomparable happiness he felt just a few hours before had given way to immeasurable grief. And he was conflicted, so conflicted, because in another room, she was crying too. So he did what a father was supposed to do — he straightened up, cradled his little baby in his arms and hushed, telling her everything was going to be alright.

One of the first few sentences he had ever said to his newborn baby, and it had to be a lie. Because how was he supposed to know if everything was really going to be okay? For the first time since he’s met you, Chuuya had felt utterly lost, despondent. Every day since that moment, he has felt his mind being beaten into the ground because of the catastrophe.

Not to say there aren’t happy moments — how could there not be? He lost you, but he also gained an amazing daughter who, he realised after some time, was quite like you.

The first few years had been extremely hard on him. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know if he was doing it correctly, he didn’t know what else he should do. He had thought the two of you would figure it out together, learn how to be parents together. Turned out to be just another unattainable dream. But Chuuya considers himself lucky. Even until now, the mafia takes care of her as they do him, because she is, by extension, a part of him. She keeps him sane, grounded, particularly during her waking hours. She is not only his miracle but also someone who never fails to distract and beguile his soul. When he spends time with her he can’t help but be completely absorbed in it, in her.

There’s so much that reminds him of you. Why wouldn’t there be? She is your daughter too. Although, she has his eyes (he silently wishes she got yours, so that maybe, somehow, he might see a glimpse of you from time to time). But there are other, more significant, things that reminds him of you. Her smile; the way it slowly and sometimes unwillingly (when she’s feigning being mad at him) shapes into a grin, before the silence gives way to a laugh of jovial significance. It’s not just in its melody — it’s in the way her face changes into a vision of unrestrained mirth. Just like you. Even her, as a person, reminds him of you; the way she manages to touch someone’s life just with mere words (he’s very surprised at this, considering how she’s still just a kid), and the way she protects those she loves with utmost enthusiasm. Even the way she manages to make Chuuya, the hot-headed brute with short temperament, have a patience worthy of admiration, is remarkable in itself.

It’s only in the night that he allows himself to feel about you; to let it out. It’s only when his daughter is asleep that he allows himself to crumble under the pressure of trying to hold it together for them both. Never once does he allow himself to falter in the face of his daughter. Chuuya feels the undeniable need to be her pillar of support, an iron wall that would never break. He can’t let her see him like this, ever, lest she worries. And she would, because she is exactly like you. If he can’t protect you, the least he can do is to safeguard what you left behind — the family.

“I miss you,” he utters into the night, well aware that no one is there to hear him, to respond to him. His eyes are glued to your face.

“I miss you so much.”

But someone does hear it. She has heard it ever since that night two years ago when she woke up due to a little nightmare about fictional monsters. But she met an even greater one that night. The one that haunts her father until the dawn breaks each day. She hears him sobbing every night through the little crack in her door, the door that faces the living room, allowing her a small peek at her father’s shoulders trembling, his crimson locks — now mixed in with several white hairs — a disheveled mess against his body. She knows he goes through this every night — mind in a daze and wandering in a mist of memories.

It’s when she realises that her father is just like her — not a villain, not a hero, just human.

Have you ever felt responsible for something that wasn’t your fault? For something that you had absolutely no control over?

Because that’s how she feels. She feels responsible for her mother’s death. She feels that it’s her fault her father is miserable. She feels if she wasn’t born that none of this would have happened. And she only blames herself… because she knows it’s true. Without pregnancy, you wouldn’t have died. Without a baby, you’d still be here.

And every moment there’s a chorus of conflicting thoughts playing in her mind: “I’m the reason mommy’s gone”, “I wish I could meet you, mommy, daddy loves you a lot”, “I should’ve been the one, not you”. There are more, but she’s lost track of them as the years passed.

Her misty eyes train on the back of her father’s head. Should she finally talk to him about it?

“Daddy?”

Cerulean eyes shoot to the clock on the wall. 1.12am. He wonders why she’s even awake but he pulls it together. This is no time to be panicking. He clears his throat, subtly wiping the tears away from his cheek.

Keep up the act.

“Yes, my little princess?”

She skips toward him in spite of the somber mood. Anything that can make her father smile, no matter how small, she will do it. But the real tension comes when she opens her mouth seeking the truth.

“Is it my fault mommy is… dead?”

Many a times Chuuya had wondered what was the right thing, the best thing, to say in a situation like this. But somehow, in this moment, now that she’s actually asked him the very thing he wished he would never have to address, he knows exactly what to say to put her at ease.

“Honey,” he calls as he carries her up to sit on his lap. “It could never be.”

He lifts an index finger to boop her on the nose, just to watch as she adorably scrunches up her face in response.

There it is — the same reaction as you.

“Wherever mommy is, she’s glad you were born. And you weren’t there but, the moment she laid eyes on you that day you were born? I promise you, I’ve never seen her happier than she was.” He plants a kiss on her temple. “She loves you, little lady, and so do I. So don’t worry your pretty mind with this, okay?”

The relief they both feel — it’s unbelievable. A huge burden off their shoulders. And he carries her into bed, tucking her in as he usually does, but this time he stays beside her, lulling her to sleep, just as he did you — tenderly, softly, like she’s the most precious thing in the world. And your daughter? She feels safe, warm, tranquil.

...

Or so she would have.

But she’s still a child.

The doubt of the practicality of the ideal situation etches itself in her mind, securing a permanent spot in the back of her head. Fear takes over, and she snaps out of her daydreams, closing the room door instead of going to talk to her father — coming back to the nightmare where her father cries himself to sleep at night, all alone on the couch, then to sleep in a cold bed; coming back to the nightmare where her father lives with the monster.

The monster called pain.

And unfortunately, that’s a monster they both share. And will share, for as long as they live.

@yokelish @gogolparadise @fyowyn-writes

[unfunny-quips]

Snippet from my (other) overly complicated Akeshu Time Loop fic where everyone except Akira (mostly) remembers the previous year:

Akechi Goro’s apartment was nothing like what Ann had expected it to be. Though admittedly her imagination had been a bit conflicted on what she should expect.

The shiny, polite Ace Detective facade he showed the world suggested she should expect a living space ripped straight out of a designer magazine. Attractive but stiff, nice to look at but difficult to actually live in let alone be comfortable in when visiting.

On the other hand, what she’d seen of his other side - the feral, blood thirsty and thoroughly nasty Black Mask - made her think of a dungeon like space. Chains on the walls, maybe one of those disturbing cluttered spaces shown on crime dramas when the heroes were hunting a serial killer. Pictures with blacked out eyes pinned to the walls, red string connecting disparate and terrifying thoughts and images, a collection of weapons on display.

What she got was…neither of those.

Shiho led her down the kind of pleasant residential area that put Ann in mind of the best kind of summers as a kid. A big park, open friendly faces, a community that seemed friendly and kind to each other. Shiho smiled and waved to a number of people on their way, the few they stopped to chat with for a bit telling her to give their hellos on to Akechi before letting them continue.

The apartment itself was the converted guest house in the back garden of what looked to be a cheerful family home. Ann counted no less than three fat cats lazing about and when they approached a delightfully plump old woman seated in a rocking chair on the front porch sat up from her reading to say hello and welcome Ann. Shiho called her Obaasan and rushed to give her a hug like she really was Shiho’s beloved grandmother before the old woman ushered them down the side path towards the back of the house.

“That’s Goro’s landlady, Shibata-San,” Shiho said as they walked the narrow path that led along the side of the house and through a truly beautiful garden. “She’s super sweet but has trouble with her arthritis sometimes. She gives Goro a deal on the rent since he helps her out so much around the house and with her gardening.”

Akechi Goro being nice to little old ladies. Ann wasn’t certain if that was exactly what she expected from the deranged killer pretending to be a charming teen detective or something so far out of the realm of expected as to be laughable. She chose to make a polite hmm noise of interest instead, not wanting to break the good mood Shiho was in by bringing up how very much Ann hated Akechi. She was rewarded by Shiho smiling warmly at her, which was really all the shorter girl would need to do to convince Ann to murder someone in Shiho’s name.

Shiho knocked at the door and Ann took a final calming breath to prepare her for the night that lay ahead of her. It was just a few hours, and she’d be there with Shiho and there would be plenty of other people to help buffer her from Akechi and Akira. Ann had helped shoot a god in the face once, she was ready for anything Akechi might throw at her over a few hours of talking about a book.

She wasn’t even close to ready, as it turned out.

The realization settled in the moment the door opened to reveal a yawning Akechi standing before her with messy hair and Featherman themed pajamas. Rumpled and clearly well worn Featherman pajamas.

Ann felt her eyes widen comically at the sight of the boy that had once been her and her team’s arch nemesis. A known and dangerous killer who had taken countless lives in the name of his twisted revenge scheme. 

He was wearing adorable unicorn slippers. Their horns were rainbow.

“Ah, Shiho!” Akechi said through his yawn, face stretching into a warm smile as he spotted the shorter girl on the other side of the threshold. “Just in time, I need help hauling Akira’s dead weight to the bedroom.” Ann watched him scratch lazily at his chin before blinking his attention over to her and offered another smile. It was a  brittle, plastic thing in comparison to the honest warmth he’d offered the shorter girl. All polish and teeth, no actual emotion. “And Takamaki-San, I’m so glad you could join us for the evening.”

He looked anything but, especially with the white knuckled grip he had on the door handle.

Ann offered a strained smile of her own. She’d made a promise to Shiho damnit and she’d see it through if it killed her. Or if Akechi killed her. Whatever. The point was that she was going to try damnit.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” She said as Akechi stepped back to allow them inside. Shiho gave a faint wince at the overly perky tone Ann had and shoot she’d overshot the enthusiasm a bit. Oh well. Better to be too excited than not enough. She followed Shiho’s lead in taking her shoes off and slipping on a pair of house slippers before turning her attention to the apartment itself.

It was…surprisingly cozy.

Ann was surprised too by the amount of clutter taking up the apartment. A laundry basket of half-folded, clean clothes sitting next to the couch, a knocked over bag tossed on a side table by the front door, more pillows and blankets than Ann would have expected making it seem like a nice place to curl up and read in. The apartment still managed to look tidy despite the half hearted attempt at organization.

Most of the space consisted of a living room with a tiny kitchenette tucked in a corner. There was a small nook beside the cooking area likely meant for dining. The small table placed there was taken over by a nice looking chess set, leaving no room for any actual dining. A small blackboard hung on the wall beside it, tallying victories of each player - tied, from what Ann could see, between Akechi and Kurusu. Other than that there were a couple doors leading to what she presumed to be a bedroom and a bathroom. 

It looked so remarkably normal.

Hardwood floors, plush rugs thrown everywhere, overstuffed bookshelves, pictures on the wall. There was a larger one hung over the couch showing off the entire book club smiling brightly at what looked like a cat cafe. Shiho, Akechi, Kurusu, Yoshizawa, even Togo Hifumi and Iwai’s son Kaoru. All of them squeezed together to fit, hands up in peace signs or giving each other bunny ears.

They looked normal. Just kids hanging out, enjoying each other’s company and reading books. It was hard to reconcile the photo with the mental image Ann had of several of the members as potential agents of Yaldabaoth.

Seeing how happy Shiho looked in the pictures didn’t help.

Ann pushed the thoughts away as best she could and followed other two to where a half asleep Akira was laid sprawled half under a large kotatsu. The delinquent had his head thrown back on the couch behind him, one of the many throw pillows Akechi apparently owned curled in his arms. She was surprised to see his usual oversized glasses he so often hid behind tossed haphazardly on the kotatsu. His eyes were closed, but he cracked one open when he heard them come over.

“M’fine here.” He muttered, curling up further around his pillow.

Akechi rolled his eyes. 

“There is a bed literally right there.” he pointed at one of the two closed doors for emphasis, mere steps away. Akira was already turning away and wiggling further beneath the kotatsu blanket. “Just go to bed Akira, no one else is even going to be here for another hour at least.”

Ann blinked. “What?” She turned from the drowsy Akira to Shiho, the shorter girl giving an unapologetic, challenging smile.

“Goro said we could come over early so you could get settled in!” Shiho said, chipper and all too aware of the fact that Ann had been banking on keeping her attention on other people in order to ignore Akechi. She really shouldn’t have been surprised. Shiho really did know her too well.

Akechi offered another brittle smile before turning his attention back to Akira, his expression softening again. Ann watched as the detective attempted to scoop the dark haired boy up, only for Akira to slip out of his grasp by going boneless, earning an undignified swear from the detective. 

Ann watched as the detective attempted to drag the delinquent away by an arm, amused as Shiho strolled over casually and hauled Akira up over her shoulder - pillow and all - in a fireman’s hold. She did it with such ease that Ann was a left little breathless at the show of strength. Akira wasn’t heavy by any measure but he was tall and she’d seen him working out at the gym the one time she went with Ryuji. The boy had muscle and that couldn’t be light. It didn’t matter to the short girl and her exceptional strength and well… Ann was weak to Shiho in so very many ways.

A few minutes later Akira had been safely stowed in a proper bed, the faint sound of soft snores heard from the dark haired delinquent before Shiho had even made it through the door. Which just left the three of them standing awkwardly in the living room.

Joy.

“I’m not nearly as good as Akira or Boss,” Akechi began, “But I can make a passable cup of coffee with what I’ve got here. Would you like one?”

There was a very real chance he might poison it. Ann nodded anyway to appease Shiho, resigned to the fact that she really was willing to do anything to see the shorter girl smile. 

Akechi shuffled towards the kitchenette in his ridiculous fluffy unicorn slippers and began fussing with the various coffee supplies that took up almost all of his very limited counter space. He was even nice enough to pull out a container of some cookies - a favorite brand of Ann’s on top of it - that hadn’t even been opened yet from a cupboard. She felt secure in the knowledge that those at least hadn’t been tampered with as she began happily devouring them.

“He’s still refusing to move in?” Shiho asked Akechi softly as she settled on the plush loveseat adjacent to the couch, tugging Ann down beside her. The dark haired girl pulled her feet up and under her, Shiho’s expression turning concerned as she watched Akechi work.

Akechi gave a soft sigh as he began boiling some water for the coffee. “He’s just so damn stubborn.” The detective said, shoulder’s drooping as he measured the freshly ground coffee out. “That place is killing him, but every time I bring it up he digs his heels in.”

Shiho gave a soft sigh before turning her attention to Ann to explain. “Akira is…” She paused, frowning, “His living situation is…bad.” Ann flicked her attention to Akechi as she heard him mutter a faint fucking understatement of the year under his breath. “Goro has offered to let him stay here but Akira’s worried that his record would hurt Goro’s reputation.”

“Oh,” Ann said, turning her attention on the delicate chocolate dipped cookie she held. Akira’s criminal record, that had been made public and well known by Mishima at Komashida’s request. Because Akira had stepped in and kept the teacher from getting to Shiho. Something Ann should have done. “Isn’t there something he can do? He’s staying with a guardian right? Couldn’t he just request to be moved under someone else?”

Akechi snorted bitterly. “Great idea, so that scam artist can report him as being “dangerous” and get him sent back to Juvie?” Red eyes turned to Ann, pinning her in place as Akechi’s mouth twisted into a sour frown. “You know about shitty adults. You know there really aren’t options like that for people in Akira’s position.”

Ann was struck again by the strange clash between what she expected from Akechi from the last run of the game and what he was showing her in this one. 

A facade of niceties for the camera, a howling soul of insanity for anyone who got in his way. Where, exactly, between those two extremes lay concern for a friend in a difficult position? Where did friends lay in that mess at all? Where did the cozy apartment, helping out an arthritic old lady, the weekly book club, the Featherman pajamas? Was there a graph somewhere that might map it all out? Or was she just supposed to guess at what was a real glimpse at the boy that had once murdered her friend’s father and what was an act to get what he wanted?

“Here,” Akechi said, and for a moment she half expected him to hand her the answers she wanted. He didn’t, of course, instead handing her a cup of coffee resting on a matching saucer. Both cup and saucer had cute chubby cats on them. “Cream? Sugar?”

She blinked and nodded, watching as he turned on his heel to get her what she asked for. Shiho beside her shifted where she sat, butting their shoulders together gently. Her face, when Ann met her gaze, was thoughtful. Considering Ann as if she was the puzzle and not the serial killer juggling a carton of cream and an oversized container of sugar across the room. Trying to stow her apprehension away for the night, Ann offered her friend the best honest expression she could while knowing how many lies she’d given the shorter girl over the past months. 

Shiho’s expression shifted slowly, the look in her dark eyes difficult to read. Ann watched as the other girl turned to sip at her coffee. Shiho didn’t even wait for it to cool. She always liked her drinks hot enough to scald.

“You know, maybe it’s the way you’re asking.” Shiho said, the complicated emotions Ann glimpsed the moment before shuffled away as the dark haired girl turned a devious smile on Akechi.

The detective looked weary and wary all at once. “Shiho…” His tone had something like a weak warning to it, though the bite Ann was used to hearing from him was absent.

“I’m just saying,” Shigo said, looking delighted, “You’re asking him to move in with you as a friend.”

“Don’t.” Akechi said, it might have been sharp and snapping if it wasn’t for the color rising high on the boy’s cheeks. Ann blinked in bewilderment. Was Akechi Goro blushing?

“Just ask him to be your boyfriend already!” Shiho said, all cheer and delight with an undercurrent of something challenging directed at the now definitely blushing Akechi. “We all saw you two kiss at the ice rink! It’s not like the thing between you it’s a secret!”

Ann choked on the cookie she’d just popped into her mouth. Akechi - so red that Ann was fairly certain he was going to turn purple soon - made a high pitched squeak and buried his face in his hands.

Well that put a new light on things.

“You kissed Kurusu?!” Cookies crumbs went flying as she spoke but Ann didn’t care. The news was just too big to be taken in calmly. Makoto had suspected that Kurusu, a known criminal, was a pawn in Akechi’s devious plan and the rest of the group had been thinking the same. Morgana suggested that the dark haired boy might even be the new player they’d been warned about.

At no point at any of them considered Akechi could be so human as to simply just like Kurusu.

“It’s not that - you’re taking things out of context!” Akechi almost wailed, not a psychopath ready to kill at a drop of a hat but an embarrassed teenage boy being teased about his crush.

Shiho laughed, “You two held hands!” 

“I didn’t know how to skate! Kurusu was helping me balance!”

“You stayed on the ice during the couple’s song!”

“We just didn’t want to get off the ice!”

“You stopped, in the middle of the rink, looked deep into each other’s eyes while holding hands and kissed.”

As if to drive her point home, Shiho lifted her phone to show a picture - a bit blurry at the edges but clear enough to make out - of Akechi and Kurusu definitely having a sweet, romantic kiss on the ice. Clearly completely oblivious of the world around them as they did so. It was possibly the cutest thing Ann had ever seen.

Any idea Ann ever had of Akechi Goro being intimidating was thrown right out the window.

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 134 Review

Thank you. Thank you so much. This means so much to me.

(Ofc this chapter is called “In the Depths of Despair.”)

Sigh.

So, I guess I have to have an opinion on this chapter now.

For a while there, it looked like SNK had made the right choice.

Eren was the asshole. He was insubordinate, ungrateful, uncooperative, and above all else, a fucking sociopath. Cool, got it. One and done.

But then his friends started talking about how it was really their fault he’s doing this.

Ok, that’s fine. They’re desperate to stop him, so they’re just saying whatever they think will ingratiate themselves with Eren and help talk him down. Dynamics like that are very common in abusive relationships.

Now we arrive at this chapter, where even random people are saying Eren is a victim *as he is murdering them!*

It is patently absurd that Eren is having a warranted or natural or reasonable reaction to what he’s been through.

If Eren were a better person, he would have known that mass murder against the Eldians was wrong because mass murder is wrong. Unfortunately, Eren is a fundamentally amoral person. The only moral compass he has to guide him is a childish belief in “you hit me, so I get to hit you.”

He’s said as much on multiple occasions. He has said, “If someone tries to take my freedom away, I will take their freedom away.”

Instead of being the better man and ending the killing, his solution was to kill more people than them, faster and on a larger scale.

I think the clearest picture of Eren’s worldview was given when he spoke to Historia. He said the only way to end the cycle of violence was to destroy the whole world.

That is Eren’s deeply felt belief: there can be no peace or coexistence; the only way to win is to be the last man standing.

This mindset is so natural to him that he will even kill his friends for opposing him.

He told them that they were free to oppose him, and he was free to fight back. That’s how he justifies killing them to himself. They have the choice to oppose him, so if he fights back and kills them, it’s their fault they died, not his, because they could have made the choice to flee and live, but decided to stand and die.

In reality, the alliance is fulfilling a moral duty to protect life, while Eren is an asshole who has killed billions.

The series wasn’t kind to Eren about that. He was depicted as a cheering child as he murdered everyone. The Rumbling was not white washed either. The take away was obviously that Eren’s decision was not the product of a sound mind.

And yet.

Now I have to wonder if the series is seriously trying to say the Rumbling embodies some form of justice.

There are multiple layers to this issue, so let’s start at the surface level.

So in what is obviously a ham-fisted attempt by Isayama to lecture the audience about morality, a Random Commander Guy filibusters about the ills cast by the Marleyans on the Eldians and how this has rebounded back at them.

It is generally considered good writing for characters to get their just desserts. If someone sells drugs to kids, you expect something bad to happen to them. If someone helps a kid cross the street, you expect something good to happen to them.

What’s different between a generic case of just desserts in a story and this chapter in SNK is that the dessert is typically delivered through some nebulous, karmic force, rather than a vengeful twerp with God-like powers.

When the drug dealer’s car blows up, it’s karmic fate, not revenge.

The car doesn’t blow up because one of the kids devoted his life to exacting revenge, it’s because the car just blows up for no reason, or because something completely unrelated to the dealer causes a bomb to be planted in the car, or the dealer brought it on themselves by getting caught up with terrorists.

People may or may not deserve to suffer, but it’s fine to show people suffering if you’re just trying to make a point about how people should act.

Eren’s a different case. For several reasons.

To help untangle why, let’s think about the death penalty.

The death penalty is an example of retributive justice. Put simply, it’s the idea that retribution can be morally just.

The Rumbling is immoral precisely because it is something a supporter of retributive justice would emphatically NOT support.

Most supporters of the death penalty would justify it as an act by a legitimate societal authority. Eren is not that.

Eren is not an authority figure. He does not speak for the Eldian people and has no right to exact this genocide on their behalf. No one made him King of the Eldians. It’s not his place to decide what’s in the Eldian’s best interest.

Also, killing people because “it’s what the scumbag deserves” is usually justified because it’s a sentence for a crime handed down in a legal process.

Rights can be taken away, but not arbitrarily. Transparency is an important part of this. Acts that are a crime are public knowledge, as well as the prescribed punishments. The criminal law is also supposed to apply to everyone equally, not selectively. To say nothing of the law itself being duly enacted by a legitimate governmental authority.

The same principles apply to the process by which a right is taken away. The process must be laid out in a law that was duly enacted by a legitimate government authority, applies to everyone, and is publicly known.

Eren’s process, of *fucking* course, is nothing like this. Eren has no legitimate authority. He’s a Guy With an Opinion who bumbled into attaining absolute power, and now he’s acting on that Opinion.

He not the government punishing a convict. He’s a guy with a gun shooting people he doesn’t like. The Rumbling is not just retribution, it’s just murder.

Commander Guy says that if they knew this would happen, they would have acted differently.

That’s a good point.

Why the fuck do they deserve to die, then?

To some extent, everyone’s worse impulses are kept in check by the knowledge that there will be consequences if they act rashly.

But it’s not just that.

Laws are public knowledge for a reason: it’s fair. If you know your act is a crime and that performing said act will result in a certain punishment, then by committing the act anyway you have tacitly accepted whatever punishment will be meted out.

The moral onus is placed on you.

This is why knowledge that you are committing a crime is necessary to be convicted of a crime.

In principle, the case with the Marleyans is the same. Is it fair to punish someone for an act they did not know would carry that punishment? No.

They may know the act was immoral, but that is not the same thing as knowing it will lead directly to their death.

And needless to say, but you only deserve to be punished for an act if you deserve to be punished for that act. The Marleyans do not deserve to be punished for that act.

There are multiple ways a wrong can be righted. There are punitive ways, in which the perpetrator is harmed outright. There are also restorative ways, in which the victim is compensated for the harm done to them, usually at the expense of the perpetrator.

I have already explained why Eren lacks the authority to pass judgement on the world, and that the process by which he made his decision was completely illegitimate, but it needs to be said that this punishment is totally improper in itself.

Wiping out humanity is purely punitive. To use the obvious analogy, I don’t think any sane person would argue white people deserve to be punished for racism. Supporters of racial justice usually talk about restorative, rather than punitive, forms of justice, like reparations.

The Rumbling does not make the Eldians whole again. It does not restore their trampled dignity. It is purely an act of vengeance.

Casting it as some kind of deserving retribution is crazy.

Oh, and, you know, suffering is bad, so retributive justice is wrong even disregarding everything I just said.

You could theoretically believe life is a miracle, but that people forfeit that right if they act wrongly…it’s not something many people would support.

If Dino!Eren had been depicted as a random force of nature that visited ruination upon humanity, we could have potentially gotten a good story about how hatred leads to no good outcomes. Like how Godzilla is a metaphor for the ills of nuclear weapons.

Instead we get a nihilistic tale about two sides punching each other until one keels over dead. And somehow the one that keels over deserved it.

What makes it nihilistic is that you could easily reverse it. What if right before Eren destroys Fort Salta, aliens invade the Earth and help the Marleyans.

Now the Eldians are on the verge of annihilation and *Eldian* Commander Guy gets his turn to say “Woe is us who surrendered to hate. We deserve this.”

There is no right side or wrong side. No deserving side or innocent side. The Eldians were cheering for genocide the same as the Marleyans. The difference is the Eldians had a God on their side.

The morality of this series is just all over the place.

The Alliance and Eren are equally sinful, but now Eren is an agent of karmic destiny and his victims “deserve it.”

There isn’t much to talk about this chapter besides that.

Armin still hopes to take Eren alive, but good luck with that.

Eren can manifest other titans from his body, which is cool I guess, though it’s pretty clear this power only exists to give the Alliance things to fight.

There were a lot of allusions to parenthood this chapter. The baby and the cliff. Reiner’s mom realizing how shitty she’s been. Historia’s pregnancy. The Commander Guy saying it’s the fault of “us adults.” The numerous shots emphasizing the kids at Fort Salta.

Child abuse is a common theme of SNK. And not just parental abuse, but societal abuse, too. Children are the victims of individual foibles and broader social ills, like racism and police brutality.

The cycle of violence at the heart of the series’ conflict is bad for everyone, but the story emphasizes that it is bad for children in particular. It harms them, and leads to a world that is worse off for them.

If there’s one takeaway from SNK, it’s that we should think of the children. Adults shouldn’t just take care of their kids, they should fix broader social issues, if not for themselves then for the children’s sake.

It’s a fucking insult.

Historia’s pregnancy is all but confirmed here. There’s no way it’s fake. There may have been motive to fake being pregnant, but there is no fucking way she’d have a reason to fake *birth*.

I always leaned towards the pregnancy being real, so that didn’t get to me. What gets me is that Historia is just…there. On Paradis. On the sidelines.

Not only was Historia, who is the only likable female character in this show now, impregnated, she’s also been MIA most the last two story arcs.

I had thought Isayama was saving her for the finale. Surely, Isayama understands that if you sideline a major character for no reason, they have to come into play at some point, I thought. Surely.

Characters are tools; they exist to be used. So use them.

But no, it seems Historia is legit not going to be a thing in this final battle. My dreams of the domineering boss saving the day are dashed.

But what really messes with me is how shafted Historia has been since basically the end of the Uprising Arc.

Historia’s only contribution to the plot after Uprising, but before the pregnancy was making the disastrous decision to make the truth of the world public, which paved the way for Paradis society to become radicalized and back Eren’s coup.

She has done nothing other than that.

Obviously her pregnancy will have thematic importance, but at this point the best Historia stans can hope for is that she’s the main character in the epilogue.

I’ve always assumed the pregnancy was the product of a loving relationship. For all his incompetence with Historia, I was willing to assume Isayama would not force her to carry a forcibly impregnated child to term.

And you know that even if the child is the product of rape, Historia will still have to say she loves and accepts them as her child and will raise them lovingly, with no regard or acknowledgement of the trauma of having to raise a child born out of her being raped.

Because the theme of the story.

All life is a miracle.

All children deserve to be loved.

Even if it was rape.

Except it’s more complicated than that, and I’m terrified to think that Isayama may not understand that.

So for now, I choose to presume that Historia is pregnant because she loves someone, decided to have a family with them, and we’re being led to believe she was raped for shock value.

But arguably more important is what this means for the queer audience.

Historia’s first love interest was another woman.

She’s queer. A lesbian. A dyke. What have you.

Now you’re telling me she either loves a man, or was not only raped, but has to love and accept the child that results from that trauma?

And for what?

So we can end the manga on a speech by Historia moralizing about the value of posterity?

Historia stands at the nexus of two subjects in this manga: the value of posterity and the denigration of queer people.

It is very homophobic of this series to pair a queer character with a dude to affirm a message about the value of children and motherhood.

As if queer people can’t have children.

We seem to be headed down that path.

It didn’t have to be like this.

Queer people can have children through artificial insemination. And artificial insemination is conceivable with Paradis’ current level of technological development.

Isayama is choosing to do this because queer people are not a part of his vision of a world where people, especially children, are able to live free.

That’s very sad, because it shows how empty SNK’s morals are.

So who’s the slave here?

Who here is truly free?

The ones who are free are the ones who aren’t reading Attack on Titan anymore.

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

im angrier this time? netflix shadow and bone s1e7 re-watch (substituting alcohol with iced coffee this time) (oh, also, spoilers)

yes jesper shooting ketterdam cards title card omg I straight up forgot that this was the darkling backstory episode we all know I love bin bons as much as the next person but um can we petition to never see the flashback darkling look again I kind of love Luda but I find the entire backstory kind of unnecessary even though I get why they did it okay mr. barnes king of micro-expressions alright fuck you show makers with you breaking my heart showing me how the Grisha have had to go through this countless times that they have their plans memorized oy dumbass otkazat'sya man you speak the darkling's name with some respect alright I've got to accept the tricck they use against the king's men is pretty cool omg you fucking bitch this is exactly why people say acab I've seen people say why couldn't he have broken his bonds and killed them before they killed Luda and I truly believe a) he didn't want to kill unnecessarily and b) Luda's life was at stake so like I get it okay so I don't like the 'just mortal' thing they brought it to sort of drive darklina soulmates agenda home because lmao that is not why okay I get Baghra's points but I don't like her, she like made more sense in the books her position on merzost is true to the books but like her pacifist stance is not the same and it just doesn't make sense okay I like the poc tidemaker in their company the score when the king's men soon to be volcra confront the darkling is impeccable that blast of darkness that we see spread outwards from him was very cool dunno how I feel about him hyperventilating and the fold flowing from him like an inky black liquid god, the score when baghra asks alek 'what did you do' is so eerie and beautiful that transition was on fucking point HOW IS KANEJ IS SO ON POINT I SIMPLY CANNOT the Inej Jesper bond is so beautiful I love it okay I love and hate how they refer to Inej's horrible time at the Menagerie so briefly and yet try to add so much impact to it omg why is Jesper about to make me cry cut to Malina huddled together? okay, show god I hate how the amplifier storyline is so incredibly poorly developed the stag is so beautiful I can't 'maybe there's another way to do this'?! again with the sgegehshshsjsjs I hate it here, fucking explain it at least okay fine the shot of Alina lighting up as she touches the stag and smiling with the soft violin in the back was beautiful now time to say bye to the stag and cry I guess okay I love zoya, she feels very authentic to book 1 zoya with maybe a few tweaks we love to see a man with plot armour uwu okay Alina my fucking queen taking out the arrow would cause him to bleed out faster why would you do that the dumbassery okay alek you overdramatic bitch I LOVED THE LIGHT SHIELD lmao I'm gonna cry at how nasal and supervillain-y the Darkling sounds when he says 'you can't save them all Alina' like okay king maybe that line could have better delivery I'm so sorry I love you so much I'm still a BB stan 'you've lost too much blood' maybe if you wouldn't have taken the arrow out you dumbass 'you said you wouldn't hurt him' nobody said that Alina but I get it you've been through a lot you're obviously not thinking love the cut, she's always cool 'miss starkov' you're in tsarist russia stfu ono I'm not prepared for this Kanej scene I need several minutes they're so perfect 'Jesper fixed your cane' I see you writers thinking they're clever omg Amita shivering from the cold babe I'm so proud of you you're so incredibly cool I love his little jaw movements before he says 'you were right' and her composing herself before turning around due to the shock of hearing these words from Kaz's mouth okay we've all talked about the voice break when he says 'she's real' so I will not dwell on it but it was beautiful the little head bend after he says 'and you' as if catching himself before saying 'and jesper' yes sir that was very convincing AAAAAHHHH IT'S HAPPENING I CAN'T COPE yeah okay fuck you I'm crying Kaz's expression at 'I can't go back to the Menagerie' being literally 'I can't believe

you think I'll ever let that happen' you fucking idiots I hate you and how much you love each other you are disgusting David so much so as breathes I love him Him saying 'Im going to place this around your neck' comedic genius David looks so sad my baby angel it's not your fault get that man's true name out of your mouth Starkov you're not supposed to know it let alone say it in front of other people aleksander this is the first time I've truly disliked you, you fucking asshole, Alina my love please don't believe him (why am I saying it like I haven't read the books and watched this already) LUKE HAVING ACTUAL TEARS IN HIS EYES AS HE PLACES THE ANTLERS AT HER NECK WHY IS HE SO GOOD AAAAAAAAA I didn't notice Ivan slowing her heart on my first watch, is that to reduce the pain ouch I am even more sad now okay Jessie you did it again Emmy time for all of these people okay the violin being sad and terrifying this is so good Luke being sad, Jessie literally crying I fucking can't do this anymore 'this is my power' 'but now I control it' really? that was the best you could do at this scene that is meant to have this great of an impact? him sort of pushing her down made me even more upset I'm so mad right now Freddie's microexpression with the eye when Inej says 'Jes has a point' Jessie looks so perfectly shell-shocked, I love them so so much the prosthetic's so gross, I love it so much DAISY HEAD IS THE PERFECT GENYA I WILL ACCEPT NO COMPLAINTS She brought me to tears and I love it Alina pointing out the Darkling's role in Genya's circumstances this early on, we love to see a well deserved call out it seemed very unlikely to me that Kaz would agree to go home empty handed but I do think it would make sense to cut their losses at a certain point I love the Kribirsk camp sets far too much, they seem to have literally leapt out of the books the darkling coming to see Mal seems very fanservice-ey and not at all adding to the plot in any way but I love it Archie bringing that youthful brashness to Mal that we all know he would have is wonderful mal calling the darkling 'shadow man' lmao I'm gonna cry 'you are a child' yeah Alek babe it's best you don't talk about that Alina is of the same age as he is I wanna go to Ben Barnes' school of nose acting because god damn Archie perfectly bringing to life Mal's realisation of the impact that Alina's immortality will bring to their life together oof sir you don't understand how perfect it is that Ben's eyes are actually that dark 'you'll wish you killed me here' it's okay honey you lost this one the Crows being the Crows I love them can we please have Jesper wearing the Zemeni man's red suit be a stepping stone to him wearing fancy clothes of outrageous colours like lime green and orange in the six of crows timeline because the fans will lose their shit and you know it Inej looking fucking fabulous in her suit I can't Kanej smiling at their crazy little bi son's antics okay can we talk about Milo literally saving the day because writer's room im looking at you you're a bunch of crazy mfers and I love you but I also hate you also I get that Mal's a tracker but would he actually have food in his pocket I know this joke has been made before but like Mal pretending to be asleep after waking the guard up is every teenager pretending to be asleep when their parents come to check on them in the middle of the night omg it's the scene those beautiful gauzy curtains at the door of the tent, I want them so bad 'you are special' he says standing stiffly at the door with a creepy inflection why am I suddenly an anti wtf I want his kefta so bad though 'my parents' I love that the show added her losing her parents to him as well because well it makes him even more villanous in her eyes doesn't it no matter what she might have felt for him uwu first fight as a couple (I'm kidding please stop) I love Jessie as Alina so much darkles don't even go off comparing being Grisha to being half-shu you can't compare experiences of being the other that interchangeably yes baby call him out on his

hypocrisy man I'm so conflicted like I understand his motivations and his story so well but like how is this helping okay but Alina's expression changing ever so slightly at him saying 'you and me' stop breaking my fucking heart assholes why is Jessie breaking my heart more on this watch than Ben did on the first one I knew it before he said it but I still gasped when he did on my first watch the little head tilt after he says it still with tears in his fucking eyes man I love this show this was the most devastating break up I have ever experienced and I will not accept any counter arguments okay actual villain time we love to see it sir please don't erotically remove her cloak you have long lost the right again I knew it before they said it but them saying it had me screaming WHAT A GLORIOUS EPISODE

[stupouid]

Unity (ATLA boys x reader) Chapter 1

Prologue|Chapter 1

A/N haha lets go im bored and i have lots of ideas so here’s chapter 1. Y/N meets Sokka in this one ee-ee I hope you guys like it!

Warning: unedited, like ONE curse word.

word count: 2432 words ee-ee

Y/M/N is your mom’s name 

if you have any more questions you can say so in the replies or my askbox!

Omashu, Earth Kingdom

5 years later

You know how Azula said that things would run smoothly for Y/N because she was of royal blood? Well that was a fucking lie. Y/N and her father moved back to Omashu because Y/N’s mother had passed away. Y/N thought that because of her blood, she would at least get to meet her grandfather, King Bumi, but she was only met with dirty looks. After pushing countless questions onto her father as to why they were treated so badly, Y/N’s father caved in and told her the truth. The whole truth.

Y/N’s mother was an Earth Kingdom princess. Y/N was aware of that already, but what Y/N didn’t know was that her mother was disowned after her parents found out that she had a child with a fire nation nobleman. They were in the middle of a war, for spirits sake. How could the king's own daughter fraternize with the enemy? Flooded with embarrassment, Y/N’s mother suggested they leave Omashu, and Y/N’s father took Y/N and her mother to the Capital City in the fire nation so the young couple could get married and raise Y/N in peace. 

Y/N thought the story was sweet. Her mother gave up a lavish life in the Earth Kingdom to live in the fire nation (basically enemy territory.) But the rest of Omashu didn’t see it that way. They thought of Y/N’s mother as a traitor, and since Y/N was her daughter, they saw the young girl as a traitor too. It didn’t help that Y/Ns father wasn’t ashamed of his fire nation bloodline. Their neighbors were convinced that the L/Ns were spies. 

For the next four years of her life, Y/N lived in hell. She was severely bullied at school. She came home from school with tears in her eyes at least twice a week. Y/N was afraid to set foot anywhere near the royal palace. But she found solace in meditation. There was a large hill several blocks away from the bustling city where she sat and meditated. But all this (or at least some) came to an end when on Y/N’s 13th birthday, Mai’s father Ukano, successfully infiltrated the city. All fingers were pointed at Y/N and her father, as the recent events ultimately supported the claim that they were spies. However, they couldn’t exactly prove it and the L/Ns remained in Omashu. 

Despite having even more reasons for the people of Omashu to hate Y/N, at least she wouldn’t be alone anymore. After four long years of sending letters back and forth, Y/N finally got to see one of her best friends again. (Not that Y/N didn’t ever see Ty Lee in those four years, Y/N did watch Ty Lee’s performances in the circus every once in a while) In the next year, Mai trained Y/N in throwing knives like she promised, and also taught her how to take care of Tom-Tom, along with gossiping with her about what had happened with who and what. 

Y/N cried when she learned that Zuko had been banished from the Fire Nation for the past two years, and came to the conclusion that he was so focused on capturing the Avatar and regaining his honor that he never replied to her letters anymore. However, Y/N was surprised to learn that Zuko and Mai got together before said banishment. She wasn’t upset by this, as the two talked about how they were more like siblings to each other years before.

A month after Y/Ns 14th birthday, Mai and Y/N received a letter from Azula stating that she and Ty Lee would be in Omashu. Azula was forming a small, elite team to bring back Zuko and General Iroh to the fire nation. Y/N was confused as to why Azula would need a team to bring them back, but then realized that Zuko wouldn’t stop until he caught the avatar, and probably needed lots of people to convince him. Nonetheless, Y/N tagged along with Mai to reunite with Ty Lee and Azula. 

Hugs were shared, gifts were given, and soon it was time for the four girls to head back to Mai’s home. Once they arrived, the female warriors learned that not only did the majority of the city’s citizens had to evacuate because of a sickness called ‘pentapox’, (which Y/N had never heard of in her life) but that Tom Tom was missing and most likely being held hostage by the Resistance. Azula was furious with Mai’s father for being so careless, and Y/N and Mai were outraged that the citizens had taken Tom Tom. Azula proposed they trade Tom Tom for King Bumi and rename the city to ‘New Ozai’ because Ukano had made a fool of himself. Despite being raised in the fire nation for more than half of her life, and the people of Omashu treating her and her father like dirt, Y/N was conflicted by Azula’s proposition. Technically, Y/N could take the throne (if it ever came to that), and this was her mother’s home. But Y/N knew better than to defy Azula in anything and stayed quiet. The four girls went to bed, mostly thinking about kicking the resistance’s asses. 

Soon morning came, and the girls got ready to make the trade. The girls met with the Avatar just next to where the statue of Fire Lord Ozai would be built. Upon arriving, the fire nation girls were met with a small boy with a hat on, a beautiful looking girl water tribe girl who looked around her age, and an extremely handsome watertribe boy who had a necklace that matched hers. 

“Hey! Where’d you get your necklac-” “Hi everybody!” The watertribe started to question Y/N, but was cut off by King Bumi being lowered down by a crane in a cage.

“Azula? Is that…” Y/N was amazed. This was her grandfather?

“Sadly, it is. You can go to him while I confer with the Avatar.” Azula chuckled. Y/N ran straight to her grandfather. Aang was about to protest, but Mai said, “You brought my brother?”

Aang responded with, “He’s here. We’re ready to trade.” Mai, Aang, and Azula talked to each other for a while, and in the meantime Y/N was trying to get to know her grandfather.

“K-king Bumi?” Y/N asked the old man.

“Are you asking if I’m King Bumi? Because I am. What do you want?” The old man replied. Despite being trapped in a metal case, Y/N was still intimidated by him.

“I knew your daughter. Y/M/N?” King Bumi’s face contorted, and Y/N couldn’t tell if it was out of confusion or disgust. “Y/M/N?” he stated. “Oh! Y/M/N! My daughter! Yes! It’s been so long since I’ve seen her. She moved to the fire nation, you know. Speaking of which, you look just like her! I wonder wh-” Y/N cut him off.

“She died. Four years ago. And I’m… I’m her daughter. So you’re my grandfather.” Tears were threatening to slip out of Y/N’s eyes, but Y/N wouldn’t dare let them out. She didn’t want to cry in front of Azula and the cute watertribe boy.

“Oh. What’s your name? How come I’ve never seen you before? Why have you never visited? You know, I wasn’t the one who chose to disown Y/M/N. It was your grandmother, actually.” Y/N was shocked to hear that he didn’t hate her. She started sobbing as she said, 

“Y-Y/N. My n-name is Y/N. My mother s-said that after she was disowned she urged my father to move us to the fire nation. We lived there until she died, when I was 7.”

“Oh, you poor girl. How come you never visited? I would have been more than happy to let you stay!” Despite his crazy exterior, King Bumi was a kind and soft person at heart.

“I-I thought you would hate me! I-it doesn’t help that my father isn’t ashamed of being fire nation. And I’m so sorry that my friend’s father has taken over this place. I’m so sorry, King Bumi.”

“Nonsense! It isn’t your fault you lived in the fire nation, or that this place is conquered by the fire nation. I could never hate you because of your mother. I never even hated your mother. I just wish you came by the palace sometimes.”

“I wish I did too-” The cage that trapped King Bumi was being lifted up, and Y/N was cut off by King Bumi screaming “Whoaa! See you all later!” Panicking, Y/N screamed, “GRANDFATHER!” She then turned around, screaming “AZULA!”

Aang thought to himself, ‘Grandfather?’ Before screaming, “Bumi!” Aang sprinted forward, but Azula blocked his way, shooting her blue flames at him. This confused Y/N. Why was Azula shooting at him? The small kid jumped and then he suddenly had a glider. While taking out the glider, his hat fell off, exposing the light blue tattoos on his body. Astonished, Azula and Y/N shouted, “The Avatar!” Y/N was aware that the current Avatar would have to be an airbender, but to actually see him in person, especially when Zuko was supposed to see him, it was amazing! The thought of the Avatar returning was what got Y/N through the hard times in Omashu. She knew that with him around, the world would be at peace again. But Y/N realized, if that kid was the Avatar, that meant Azula was shooting at him.

Y/N just stood there, watching as Ty Lee and Mai charged at the two watertribe teens while they were escaping with Tom Tom. It was a lot for Y/N to take in, and she couldn’t decide who’s team she would be on. After hearing a crash, she turned around to see the Avatar removing the chains from King Bumi’s cage.

“It’s just like old times, isn’t it, Bumi?” she heard the Avatar say to her grandfather. ‘Old times?’ she thought, but then remembered that the Avatar had been missing for over 100 years. Y/N decided she should be on the Avatar’s side since he knew his grandfather, so she started running over to the two, before noticing that Azula was shooting several fire missiles at them. This gave Y/N another reason to be on the Avatars side, her best friend was about to kill her grandfather for spirits sake!

Y/N booked it for Aang and King Bumi. But Azula’s missiles were faster than Y/N. Luckily, Aang fought them off with his airbending. Helpless, Y/N just stood there, watching the two throw their bending at each other. She hears Mai nonchalantly say “How are you gonna fight without your bending?”, which meant that Ty Lee chi blocked the watertribe girl. Y/N heard the watertribe boy reply with “I seem to manage!” and she couldn't suppress her chuckle. Y/N turns around again to see the Avatar and Azula still fighting. She heard the Avatar shout, “Hang on, Bumi! Our ride’s here!” signalling that the two were about to leave. Y/N was not going to let the Avatar leave with her only relative on her mother’s side, not without her at least. So Y/N screamed, “AVATAR! BUMI IS MY GRANDFATHER! TAKE ME WITH YOU!” 

This outraged Azula, and she started directing some of her firebending toward Y/N. But after training with Azula for many years, Y/N knew her blind spots, and dodged the fire with ease. Aang heard what Y/N had said, and decided that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take her with them. He figured that it wouldn’t hurt to take them, especially since she seemed to defy her friend for him. Y/N joined Aang and Bumi at the end of the chute the two were on.

“Im Y/N. Bumi’s granddaughter. And you’re the Avatar!” Y/N said, amazed. He looked much younger up close. “Were you friends with my grandfather?”

“Very close, actually. Before I disappeared. I’m Aang, and this is Momo!! It’s nice to meet you! I didn’t know Bumi had a granddaughter!” Aang replied, laughing. Y/N scratched the lemur between his ears. He was very adorable.

“I didn’t know either!” Bumi stated. The three laughed loudly. The laughter died down and there was an awkward silence, before Bumi said, “You should go. Goodbye, Aang and Y/N. Don't forget what I told you about jing! I’ll see you when the time is right.”

“What? Why! I only just met you! I can’t leave you!” Y/N interjected. She didn’t want to leave her grandfather behind.

“Just go. Y/N. I know you’ll help Aang with his mission greatly. And besides, Princess Azula doesn't seem too happy with you. Wouldn’t want to see how that turns out.” Y/N laughed. Hopefully she would see him again soon. She nodded at her grandfather and King Bumi let himself tumble backwards into the chute. 

“So… I guess we’re allies now, huh?” Aang stated out of the blue.

 “I guess so.” Y/N replied. “I didn’t realize that you were so young. I think I could help you guys out.” Aang nodded at this and they went to go find the two watertribe teens, Sokka and Katara.

Meanwhile, Ty Lee, Mai, and Azula were on a palanquin in the city. “So,” Mai started. “We’re tracking down your brother and Uncle now, huh?”

“It’ll be interesting seeing Zuko again, won’t it Mai? Too bad Y/N won’t be with us to see him.” Ty Lee asked Mai. The broody girl blushed at the thought of seeing Zuko again, but Azula grimaced when Ty Lee mentioned Y/N. She had saved that girl, chosen her, and she had the audacity to defy her? For some Avatar? As far as Azula knew, the Avatar was nothing more than a roadblock for Fire Lord Ozai’s plan to conquer the rest of the three nations. 

“It’s not just Zuko and Iroh anymore. Since little Y/N decided to betray us for the Avatar, we have a third and fourth target now. Don’t feel bad for Y/N, by the way. If I hear you even talking positively about her, I’ll make sure your fate is the same as my brothers.” 

taglist: @emberislandplayers​, @eridanuswave​

[gingus-doon]

For AUs... How about an AU where Keiji and Megumi both survive the First Trial? I'd like your take on that :)

you have opened pandora's box! i hope you're prepared to read a whole ass essay JSHDKABD

BUT SERIOUSLY TY THIS IS SO INTERESTING!! i saw your post on this already and commented on it then (in the tags ofc JGVKDDJDJ), bUT that was the meta of yours that inspired me to think that, maybe, keiji wouldn't be the way he is without that particular first trial and its outcome..? so i'll be operating under that assumption for these scenarios, so as not to feed a fed horse! (as peta would say,)

this does seem like quite the task, considering that it would require both conceptualizing megumi when we have minimal information about her, and reconceptualizing keiji to the keiji before the death game, when we also have minimal information on how he thinks in general... (and his characterization in this is all based on a theory to begin with, so it's not the most steady foundation lol)

of course, their first trial would need to be something else for this au… to keep things simple, it'd be best if it was neutral– neither him saving or not saving megumi, to neither restore nor forsake his faith in himself. megumi saving him would probably leave some positive impression of her on him too, so a trial which includes none of those things would be mosy fitting. but the trial itself isn't what's interesting, so i won't go into it further djdksbdk.

assuming they don't have a trial together, they'd meet each other the first time with everyone else-- i'm sure megumi would recognize keiji after the initial shock of how different he looks. and even if keiji tried to distance himself from her, she'd mention she knows keiji right away. i do think she'd have quite a bit of logic in her, but not an unsympathetic amount! however, she has been shown to throw morality to the wind when protecting keiji in the past (though asunaro may have been involved in the coverup in ways we don't yet know), so i think she'd do something similar here. she'd say she knows him and possibly that he's a police officer to solidify his standings amongst the other participants, assuming that keiji doesn't lie for himself first.

speaking of what keiji would do… so, i'm reconceptualizing him as more solemn and maybe a bit less guarded? however, it's also important to keep some level of his chill with his stupid grin and avoidance, because that constitutes a large part of how he copes with his trauma. a keiji wrestling between solemn genuineness and avoidant nonchalance, protector and sacrificer, logic and emotion! a mid-way between the two extremes of before the shooting and during the normal death game. definitely more stoic, though… less smiley but not brooding either. i think a more stoic, perhaps more reserved personality pre-death game would make a lot of sense for keiji, considering that he has absolutely no friends.

BUT ANYWAY!! back to what i was saying– i think megumi would lie in keiji's favour, because she wants to get him out of there alive (sympathetic megumi ftw!) but she may hold it over his head a bit, if only to keep him in line with her plans by means of guilt. it's worth it, though, if she can make up for what happened with the shooting– really, she couldn't believe it when she saw keiji! after he quit, i bet they'd barely seen each other since. the bags under his eyes make his face look so gaunt and haunted compared to how he was when he was a kid…

she still treats him like a kid, too. they slowly fall into the mentor-pupil relationship again they had before, by habit, like ancient cogs beginning to turn for the first time in years. but, this isn't all easygoing, of course.

i don't think megumi would apologise for the coverup. at least, not right away. she seemed very keen on ignoring it back when the shooting happened, so despite any guilt she'd have around the incident, she doesn't bring it up. keiji's somewhat content to keep it that way as well, considering that facing what he did would shatter him. but being with megumi is like facing the shooting… i'm sure being with her like that would bring up bad memories and relight slumbering resentment. he'd eventually want an apology, an explanation, something… how soon "eventually," would be, though, i'm not sure. especially considering that keiji wants to survive, and megumi will help him do that.

though, i think keiji's will to live in this scenario would be a little weaker, oddly enough. because when he kills megumi, that plunges him into the confirmation of himself as a sinner-- he has more to run from, and if he's killed two people now for the sake of his well-being (first because he feared for his life, second in hopes of being rid of his trauma), why not do it again? he's not going to dwell on it anyway, he's not going to look…

but keiji in this scenario is wrestling with himself. he'd still like to be a protector. maybe… it's still possible? maybe he's not damned just yet? maybe there's worth in sacrificing his life for the more vulnerable.

and that internal conflict could potentially clash harshly against megumi's goals of getting them out alive by any means necessary. she's not malicious, and she wouldn't try to get someone killed for the fuck of it, but when it comes down to it, she's just there for them.

i do think megumi would feel guilty for the children, though… gin and kanna are so young. sara is so bright-eyed and clever, it almost reminds her of what keiji was like back then… but she's willing to shoulder the guilt of murder for keiji this time, if only to finally atone for what she did to him and to save herself as well.

there's a few ways this could go though!! i have about four. 1) megumi is ruthlessly logical as keiji is in the actual game, and keiji goes along with it for the sake of his own survival. they end up being the sole survivors of the death game; keiji hates megumi and is entirely broken // 2) same as the last one except the rest of them thwart megumi and keiji's evil plans and maybe keiji and / or megumi die.. :v // 3) megumi is still ruthlessly logical BUT keiji's resentment of megumi and his morals push him away from her and he works against her to protect everyone // 4) megumi starts out logically, but noticing how keiji has changed as a result of his trauma and how cold he's become (she can see the same strains of her "forget morality, save yourself" logic in him and some of his decisions) she decides to let herself fall to emotion and either sacrifices herself for keiji or someone else.

and, some misc. things i didn't get to mention above....!!

i REALLY loved your idea of megumi being team mom. with the above in mind, it's exactly parallel to keiji's role in the normal death game! a should-be protector wracked by guilt who abuses their power regardless. and to think of keiji potentially taking on the role of the abuser while also possibly being one of the vulnerable underneath the force of that power… it's just really interesting!

depressing parallels aside though, i think megumi would be a nice sensible mom figure for this group of idiots sjfhddj. maybe a little blunt or initially distant, but ultimately caring.

as for her role in a wider sense, i think megumi would actually be more trustworthy than keiji is in the normal death game. although she has the disadvantage of sexism working against her, she's actually in a police outfit and lacks the shady appearance. i'm certain she could conduct herself in a way that would garner everyone's trust-- she wouldn't have any questions she needed to dodge like keiji in the main game, unless keiji brought up the shooting, but even then, that's much less severe than murder. there wouldn't be any creepy flirting with her either, not only because there's no questions to dodge in the first place, but i think she'd opt to use her authority to harshly shut down any opposition, like she did with keiji after the shooting. and when that fails, she'd fall back on logical and / or manipulative rebuttals. i also think a large part of why nao and reko specifically don't like keiji is because he's a man! a creepy man at that, and that feeling really is justified, but the point is that megumi's a woman, a respectable woman, so they wouldn't have the same qualms with her. she could also prove herself to be a more capable leader than sara, being older and still having a cool head. she'd very much come off as a reliable leader if she tried to, i think.

but back to happier things!! i think keiji would take on a less authoritative role if under megumi's wing. it's hard to say exactly how his role would change, considering that we don't know if keiji saw the percentage papers normally, and if he did in this au, would megumi as well and would they both try to cling onto sara for survival's sake? BUT i'm not going to get into that, i just want to say that i think it'd be neat if keiji took up an older brother position to in group! kind of the same as the normal death game, except he has less control over what the group does and is more on the same standings as the other participants. i think he'd get closer to being a genuine protector in this scenario, fail sooner at his attempts to avoid emotional attachments to the other participants, and i also think he'd do a lot less of the creepy flirting!! because really, the only reason he did that anyway was to dodge questions, and that'd be a lot less necessary if 1) he had dependable megumi vouching for him from the beginning, therefore making him less suspicious to the others // 2) megumi's death would no longer be a topic of concern cos it didn't happen! // 3) if someone attempted to dig up info about his past or something of the sort, something that could get in the way of the group's trust of him and therefore keiji and megumi's chances of survival, megumi could likely shut it down as she has a good reputation amongst the group. besides, the only one who would say shit like that is shin, and people don't trust him very much anyways sjfjsbfnd.

i think keiji and sara would potentially have a less manipulative and more wholesome friendship in this au ahhh ;<;

as much as a manipulative dick megumi is to keiji in this au, she gets softer when his hallucinations seem to be affecting him more, or when he has nightmares. (CAN YOU TELL I'M A SUCKER FOR FLAWED BUT GENUINE MENTORSHIPS YET)

i've started to become STAUNCHLY AGAINST the notion that keiji killed megumi maliciously or that he would kill megumi maliciously!! because logically, it'd probably be more beneficial to have such a trustworthy ally in the death game (maybe not trustworthy to him, but to everyone else) and emotionally, I JUST THINK THEY'D HAVE BEEN CLOSE BEFORE OKAY AND I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA THAT HE'D KILL HER 😭😭 (that's more my emotions than his LOL, but i think it's so important that megumi's murder was an inactive murder that keiji was unsure of to the moment it happened and beyond!! you could say his angst about killing megumi during the 2nd main game is more about him killing another person, regardless of whether or not it was megumi, BUT i like to think the fact that it was megumi SPECIFICALLY was significant to him.) so that's why throughout i haven't really entertained the idea of him trying to kill her or anything like that, especially considering the theory i'm weaving this au under, which dictates keiji would likely be a lil softer + more emotional :>

CONSIDER,,, in that scenario i posed where megumi sacrifices herself for someone / keiji: while she's dying or before her death, she hugs keiji and tells him she's sorry, it wasn't his fault. no one's ever told him this before because he's refused to talk about what happened with anyone after her dismissal of it. after she says that, though, it feels as though he's let out a breath he's been holding for years and some of the weight of the shooting is finally gone.

that's all i can think to say at the moment, SO… to sum things up– a tl;dr, if you will--

(i never actually watched this show so pls don't kill me if the casting choices are weird 😭😭)

i hope this wasn't too derivative of yours or too horribly self indulgent to read LOL. this wasn't nearly as thorough as i could've been, but it might've been a bit much to consider more branching paths ajdbsns. thank you for letting me rant about keiji and megumi, i was thinking about them earlier today so it's nice to be given a chance to ramble about them again!!

[godkilller]

@izzabizz139

I wanna hear you rant about the Gin vs Hitsugaya anime fight bc I love seeing your pov and you clearly write better than whoever extended that scene :) pretty please

          out of character.  DON’T ENABLE ME SO MUCH !!  No but I cackled when I first saw this ask because oh my god, clearly you saw a taste of my annoyance about the anime adaptation -- no, adaptation implies it was accurate, I’ll say the anime’s take was “inspired by” the manga’s quick run-in. I’ll start by saying this moment is supposed to be a bit important considering, via the audience’s point of view, THIS IS THE FIRST WE SEE OF TWO CAPTAIN-RANKED SHINIGAMI CLASHING. The only other captain-involved fight we’ve seen thus far in the manga is Kenpachi  ( who is an outlier and should not be counted... no, I joke... but, still, Ichigo was not an equal to him, his sword was sliced through like butter. )  The whole reason I enjoyed this encounter between Toshiro and Gin was simply this; it wasn’t some fancy multi-chaptered fight. IN THE MANGA, THERE ARE ONLY TWO BLOWS MADE. One, by Toshiro, to begin the fight. The second, to end it, is Gin’s strike.

          I want you to know that I’ve rewatched this specifically to answer this ask, and only due to this, as I wouldn’t have ever sought it out otherwise. HONOR MY SACRIFICE.

          Read more for length. I’m merciful.

          In the anime, they monologue at each other, and it’s mostly a combination of Toshiro making three separate death threats  ( he starts this off by saying “I’ll kill you before Hinamori arrives” and then goes on rewording it each time, and then also repeats the death-threat he gave Gin prior to this conflict about “I’ll kill you if Hinamori bleeds” )  and then also Gin and Izuru talking about how truly powerful and amazing Toshiro is -- no, this isn’t me being bitter or petty, I literally shit you not, Gin has a line that is legit “AS EXPECTED FROM HITSUGAYA TOSHIRO, CAPTAIN OF THE TENTH DIVISION, A CHILD PRODIGY OF TH' SORT THAT ONLY COMES ALONG ONLY ONCE EVERY FEW CENTURIES. HOW VEEEERY DANGEROUS. YOU’RE SERIOUS, AIN’T YA?” like don’t get me wrong, love a good sarcastic little shit comment like that, but the amount of times the anime pumps Toshiro up like he’s their shinest new cash cow ( and he is, at this point, it is not even 50 episodes into the series and they’ve realized everyone likes him and he’s jumped to high ranks in popularity polls... earning him filler spotlights, and eventually his very own non-canon movie )  so everything coming out of Gin’s mouth feels like more bullshit than necessary. Izuru’s already literally monologued, internally, how powerful and amazing Toshiro is anyways. Why this ?

          Not to mention that, prior to saying that long-winded shit, Gin’s haori changed length three times  ( and once it was longer than his entire body by several feet, and no not in a ‘to show motion’ way )  and most importantly Shinso was drawn, consistently, at katana-length for the duration of their little spat where the following, too, happened: Gin frog-leaps after doing a backflip, Toshiro gives Gin two (2) haircuts, Gin ruins some floorboards and gives Toshiro at least one splinter in his arm, Toshiro whilst wearing socks lands on Shinso’s blunt edge and pushes the sword down with his footsie because that’s how that works, there’s another backflip somewhere in there that Gin doesn’t need to be doing, twirl, twirl, and ballet, Gin’s face elongates until his chin is bigger than his face, Gin spends ten+ seconds purely dodging very close strikes to his face as Toshiro is the only one making breathy growly and ‘tsuuaaah’ sounds, there is a brief moment of no gravity as Toshiro keeps hacking at Gin midair and Gin blocks it over and over again but they still stay in the air but they’re not standing or jumping or using reiatsu they’re just like, momentum-locked I don’t fucking know, Gin frowny faces as he blocks because like somehow this kid who doesn’t even have more reiatsu than him, whose arm strength should not be an issue, is like. making him nervous?? as sword sparks fly. if you know me at all you know I hate when they fuckin’ firework sparkler-ify swords clashing.

          Anyways, all of this happens whilst Shinso is the wrong length and Gin’s hair is getting purpler by the second and this entire thing is somehow a big jack-off to Toshiro’s immense strength even though he’s screaming and wailing at Gin like a child and Gin’s just a vessel at this point to Enhance Toshiro, which, fine, okay, but at least be more accurate with it god damn. ANYWAYS,

          THEY JOUST. They literally run at each other, swords centered, and run past / to the side of one another. Jousting. “Cause that’s how that works. No slashes, no cutting motion. Just swords centered, because the animators were like “no worries guys I know swordfighting basics that’s a legit pose” yeah it is WHEN STATIONARY. Not rUNNING IT DOWN.

          And then Gin’s sleeve is cut, somehow, from the Jousting, because wow Toshiro wow wow wowowowow, and then Toshiro comes back and starts wailing at Gin again and Gin blocks it, again, and it’s all very annoyingly repetitive, and Gin’s frowning and sparks are flying and Gin’s using Shinso, the katana-length wakizashi I guess, with two hands because like I said, the animators knew basics and basics are “katana are used two-handed” like. Okay, you’re not wrong, but I cannot stress this enough: SHINSO IS NOT A KATANA. It’s shorter and meant to be used single-handed!!!! sTop!!! So then Gin rips off the tattered part of his sleeve and throws it at Toshiro, who swipes it away from his face using his Zanpakuto because that’s intelligent and a piece of cloth was definitely threatening enough to use your sword to bat it away  ( btw, Hitsugaya wasn’t holding his sword with two hands at this precise moment, so he could have just... used his other hand )  and then Gin goes in for the classic “stabby stabby rapidly at you while the animation gets a little breather because we repeat this cycle a few times with flashy bgs and phew money made” ... WE ARE FOUR MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS INTO THIS FIGHT BY THE WAY. Gin does this for seventeen (17) agonizing seconds straight. Yes, I counted. That was sixteen and a half too many seconds for me, personally.

          Toshiro somehow lassos Shinso whilst Gin is stabby stabby-ing with Hyourinmaru’s chain component. I say component like it’s somehow some type of beauty guru’s lipstick holder, but really am I that wrong ? When else has he ever used this feature ? Anyways, he lassos Shinso because yeehaw I guess, god I’m falling apart at this point can y’all tell????? I need a drink.

          and so, because now Toshiro has Gin’s sword somehow trapped with chain even though it’s just looped around it, he backflips over Gin for a cool trickshot, no blow issued, just vibes, and Gin uses a big brain moment to tug Shinso and the chains slide off. okay now what. We’re past five minutes into this fight, nonstop.

          SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME FOR GIN TO PAUSE AND APPRECIATE TOSHIRO AGAIN! “I see, I shouldn’t have underestimated you, HItsugaya Toshiro” I’m starting to have a feeling Gin’s VA was told to just wing these lines because the amount of times he fills silences / Gin’s mouth movements with Toshiro’s long-ass name is astounding, he’s definitely drawing blanks here but he sure as hell knows one thing: that damn ice-boy’s name. He continues by saying “I suppose I’ll end up regretting it afterwards.”

          Toshiro says that’s not enough, and it’s really dramatic and cool. His eyes even glow all icy and blue and pretty, like his flowy reiatsu. Aesthetic points were gifted entirely to Toshiro’s animations in this scene. Gin was finished in MS Paint and each new scene they had to draw Shinso from memory and try to remember what hue of purple his hair was at gunpoint. Toshiro lets off a big wave of reiatsu and then it vanishes, and he jumps up reaaaally high. like this guy’s flying. his eyes arent glowing anymore that’s sad. Bring Back Glowing Eyes For Strong Shinigami 2k21.

          Toshiro releases his Shikai, and it’s badass, the sky darkens, Izuru looks distinctly more worried than usual, and Gin’s frowning with his teeth out like Bugs Bunny’s having a bad day, all is right in the world. Toshiro and his released Shikai have a nice moment for the Pics, and a big epic freeze frame blur moment happens with it all coiled and swirling around him. Wrow!  ( click the ‘wrow’ it’s a link to my exact reaction )  Izuru narrates for the third time about how powerful Toshiro is, his reiatsu, his Zanpakuto being a deity who is only unlocked every few centuries. The strongest ice-type sword. Pardon the pun, but that’s... you could say, so cool.

          It can even control the weather. So hey, next time it’s rainy, cold, icy, or snowing and you’re unhappy, it’s time to direct a big fuck you at Toshiro.

          Gin dodges the first dragon, and blocks the second with Shinso because blocking water and ice with a sword makes sense right? This actually takes a solid amount of seconds as Gin cuts through the entire length of this ice dragon noodle. Things dissipate, and pause, too, to really drag this out. Surprisingly, this reveals that Gin’s made a boo-boo, his left arm’s frozen, which doesn’t even mean anything because Gin is right-handed, and Toshiro teleports himself behind Gin in true fighty fashion.

          We have arrived at seven minutes and just under twenty seconds of this fight, and Gin turns, DOES THE UNTHINKABLE, gasp! He opens his eyes. His red, dull, evil, gray-eyebrowed with purple hair eyes, and shoots Shinso through its hideout spot behind his haori. This nearly takes off Toshiro’s eye and upwards of his head, but the little guy dives down fast. The rest happens in slow motion, supposedly, because it takes an eternity and people talk entire full sentences in its span of time.

          Gin asks Toshiro if he’s sure he’d like to dodge that  ( it’s a little late for that ) and says that Momo’ll die if he does. SHINSO SCRAPING ALONG AGAINST HYOURINMARU STRANGELY MAKES NOT A SINGLE SOUND. Mute. Even though before they had no problem animating and adding sounds to them smacking blades earlier. There are soundless sparks though, so there’s that. Yay. Can you tell how exhausted this’s made me? I need a nap.

          Shinso is already more than halfway towards Momo, still unconscious, she most definitely has a serious concussion via Toshiro backhanding her midair consider she’s been unconscious for longer than ten minutes. Toshiro has time to get up off the floor where he dropped to dodge, realize with a shocked gasp, turn, shout her name, and watch as Rangiku arrives in a random glow of gold which never happens ever again and blocks the attack with Haineko. Haineko almost cracks on the impact, and continues growing in damage as Rangiku holds Shinso there, implying that she’s stopped it from reaching one-hundred sword’s lengths to pierce Momo. Yes I’m including that implication / note in here because we love to see Rangiku succeeding in life and being Not-Helpless, all while potentially damaging Haineko severely if it wasn’t able to hold him off. Yikes, Gin!

          Rangiku threatens to join the fight if he doesn’t withdraw his sword. Gin smiles, withdraws it, and then Shunpos away.

          Whatta mess. Oh, and the anime fight was pretty fucked up, too.

          This is a long post, but here’s the manga version:

Toshiro leaps into the air,

This is where the fight actually starts between them:

And end. 

Five pages. Two blows. Does not equate to ten minutes of non-stop fighting and monologues. Sometimes, and I mean this in the most unbiased way possible, less is more.

[onyour-right]

A Dickkory fic - Role Reversal

*Strides in several months late after I said I was gonna have this out by the time season 2 finished airing* I don’t even have any excuses for myself other than my motivation to write them was at such a low, but I hope this kinda makes up for things. 

This fic is Kory kinda struggling to deal with a few of the events that have happened, of what her sister’s presence on earth means, and then of course our ole boy Dick comforting our girl.  

Please feel free to comment on what you liked/disliked (but keep it respectful). Positive feedback is always necessary. 

Word count: 2,600+

Kory lies wide awake in her unbelievingly spacious double bed, her green eyes fixed unseeingly on the pasty white ceiling as numerous thoughts race through her mind and leave her unable to fall asleep.

It’s not the first night she has had trouble falling asleep, nor is it the second the third or even the fourth. Ever since she’d had to kill Faddei, a friend to her despite everything else, and then somehow lost her powers, there was a restlessness that clung deep to her spirit and left her feeling oddly vulnerable in a way that she wasn’t at all used to.

She knows she’s been acting differently around the others, and knows that they’ve picked up on it too. She’s seen the worried looks that Gar shoots her way when he thinks she isn’t aware; she feels the frustration that bleeds through her every interaction with Dick, of him wanting to push but not knowing how far to go. Even Rachel, who is generally a lot harder to read and a lot less obvious with her affections, seems to be hovering close to her as if she’s worried she might take off at any moment. 

Kory loves them all; some days it overwhelms her just how much she does, and on her bad days she finds herself wishing she didn’t love them as much as she did. It’s why it makes the presence of her sister on earth that much worse. Blackfire has already shown her ruthlessness, her lack of remorse in doing what she needs to do to get what she wants. It would be absolutely nothing for her sister to take any one of their lives, to take away what few people Kory now has left.

Her mind drifts over to Gar, sweet, precious Gar, who is unbelievingly loyal and deserving of so much goodness he has yet to receive. Then Rachel, who nestled her way into Kory’s heart fiercely and unapologetically, who challenges her in so many ways. And finally Dick, the man who already arouses feelings so deep within her that she knows that if both of them could just figure it out...

She can’t be the reason they die. She can’t watch any of them die. It would be too much. It would devastate her. She can handle a lot of things, but she can’t with this, she can’t -

… She can’t breathe.

Kory presses her hand firmly against her chest, against the hammering of her heart, in futile hope that it will help abate the pressure mounting. It does not. She feels as if she’s boiling under the covers, her skin disgustingly clammy to touch, and she doesn’t know where she’s going, but she knows she needs to leave.

She barely registers throwing back the covers and slipping out of her room, or moving through the dimly lit hallways of Titan Tower on the night cycle.  

When she stumbles towards the security door leading to the rooftop she wastes no time in yanking it open and rushing out into the cold, night air, where finally she’s able to take in a deep breath when the fresh breeze washes over and settles deep into her skin.

Kory stays like that for a long while, her eyes shut and her face tilting upwards towards the moonlit sky. There’s something about basking in the silence, she thinks, something almost beautiful and peaceful that she so desperately needs.  

She is unaware of how much time passes until her quietness is interrupted by a familiar baritone voice that comes from behind her.

“Kory.”

Her eyes open almost instantly at the sound of Dick’s voice, and even though she needs this bit of peace she’s found and is reluctant to break it, she still spins round to face him.

“Dick,” she says with surprising softness, surprising given the weariness that she feels, that sinks right through to her bones and makes her ache.  

He looks adorable in his half asleep state; wearing his blue pyjama bottoms and white tee, with his ruffled brown hair that has Kory longing to run her fingers through it. She can imagine his reaction if she were to tell him just how cute she finds him in this moment, he would most likely let out a disgusted scoff and grumble something unintelligible under his breath that would only make her laugh.  

Kory watches him quietly, watches the worry and concern playing out so plainly on his face as he looks at her, and it startles her, because he never used to be so open with his emotions. She wonders when he’d changed so much.

When it becomes clear that she’s not going to say anything else, that she’s allowing him to take the lead in this conversation, he steps towards her and speaks.

“I got an alert when the door to the rooftop was opened, I wanted to see if you were okay.”

She nods slowly, letting out a thoughtful hum as she does. A small part of Kory wonders if he knew that it was her all along, and it makes the corner of her lips pull up into a gentle smile even while the lie trickles easily from her mouth.

“I’m fine, Dick, I just needed some fresh air.”

He furrows his brows and a disbelieving frown settles on his face, his gaze dropping down to her bare feet and then lifting back up to meet her eyes. “So fine you couldn’t spare the time to put on a pair of shoes?”

Kory feels herself tensing up at his words and folds her arms defensively across her chest. She keeps her gaze firmly on him. She won’t look down and give him the satisfaction of being right, of catching her out in a blatant lie; and she definitely won’t respond to him, with his tone of voice that she doesn’t much care for.  

He seems to realise his own misstep seconds after because his gaze softens suddenly, and a heavy breath loosens from his mouth as he takes another step closer to her. “You’ve been different lately. Not just with me, but with the whole team.. I’m just worried about you, Kory.”

Not for the first time does she find herself taken aback by his emotional maturity, although she doesn’t necessarily know why. It’s not as if he hasn’t shown his concern over her well-being before, or hasn’t gone out of his way to check on her when he knows that she’s not okay; but there’s something remarkably different about this moment that they’re sharing right now. His honesty makes it harder for her to maintain her façade towards him, but she finds that for the first time in her life she’s at a loss as to how to express herself.

“I’m-” Kory starts, trailing off into a hesitant silence when the words seem to fail her, she continues a moment later. “I appreciate your concern, Dick, I really do, but I don’t need it, I’ll be fine. I think you should be more worried about the kids though, especially Gar, y’know? He’s had a rough time and I-”

“Kory- ”

“ - think he needs some sort of help,” she continues, as if he hasn’t said a word. “Maybe someone professional to talk to. I know that it’s quite common to seek mental help after facing a traumatic event. And I mean he’s -”

“Kory- ” Dick tries again, but either she doesn’t hear him or can’t seem to stop the words falling from her mouth.

“ - just a kid, he’s so young and I -”

“Koriand’r!” He shouts finally, his voice sounding even louder in the stillness of nightfall that surrounds them.

The rest of the words die out on her lips and her eyes widen almost comically as she can do nothing else but stare at him in shock. She doesn’t think Dick has ever raised his voice to her, even when they argue it’s never with raised voices. She wants to say it bothers her, but she really can’t. An emotion that seems wholly inappropriate given the serious nature of their conversation courses through her body, and for the life of her she can’t figure out whether it’s because she likes the way her proper name falls from his mouth, or if it’s something else entirely.

Dick releases a heavy breath, his chest rising and falling as if she drives him breathless. She can see the frustration laced in his eyes again, and it makes her guilty that she’s the cause of it.  

“We’ll sort Gar out I promise you, but I can’t do that without you. He needs both of us.”

Kory feels her body deflate at his words, and a stretch of time passes where they seem content to just watch each other; Dick’s gaze searching and Kory’s gaze filled with an array of conflicting emotions. This time it’s her that takes a step forward to him, her hand reaching up to rest against the side of his face with her thumb lightly stroking his cheek.

Some of the worry clears from Dick’s expression when she steps close, and is replaced with the same emotion that Kory recognises flows through her body. His stare drops down to her full lips and his mouth parts invitingly, and the faint  hesitation Kory felt floats away because now she knows that he wants her too.  

Kory ducks her head down and closes the space between them, capturing his lips in a searing kiss that he returns with just as much intensity.

It’s been a while since they’ve last been as intimate as this. After defeating Deathstroke and then the  death of Donna, it’s taken some time for all of them to settle into their new norm and relearn old dynamics, and yet the way their bodies still move so in sync with each other is like no time has been lost at all. It’s overwhelming in the best of ways.  

They stumble backwards until Dick’s back hits the metal door and he lets out a soft grunt against her mouth, both his arms snaking around Kory’s waist to pull her flush against him. She’s forgotten how good it is to be allowed to touch any part of him that she wants – his chest, his hair, his face, and in turn to feel his hands on her. It fills her with such a staggering amount of pleasure.

Eventually they part for some air, panting heavily as they try to catch their breaths. It’s only a mere few seconds later that Kory leans forward again with the intent to claim his lips again, but when Dick inches his head back a stab of rejection so strong buckles through her.  Has she read him wrong?

Kory tries to step away from him then, but his arms turn tight around her and prevent her from walking away.  “Kory,” is all he says, low and soothing, like he already knows the assumption she’s jumped to and is trying to reassure her.  

He’s studying her face with that deeply intense manner of his, and in that moment she realises. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, because of course he does, it’s that he’s not letting her forget their conversation, he’s not going to let her brush this off as nothing.

She huffs lightly and averts her eyes, fixing them on a random spot on the wall. Her resolve starts to slip the longer she feels the heat of his gaze on her; stubborn man, she can’t help but think, even though the irony of her comment is not lost on her.

Kory’s voice is quiet when she finally admits to him, to herself. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore, Dick.”

His lower lip juts out slightly while he listens, the gentle expression on his face akin to understanding. “Because of your sister?”

She nods, biting down on the inside of her mouth and turning back to him. “And my powers. One of the last conversations Faddei and I had was about my purpose, my responsibility, and now I – she’s stolen them both from me and I don’t even know what to do about any of it. I feel,” she pauses, letting out a bitter sigh, “I just feel powerless.”

Dick’s brows knit together and a frown creases his face. “The last thing I would ever call you is powerless, Kory. I can’t say I know how any of it feels, but I know that if anyone can figure out what to do it’ll be you,” and at the incredulous look that crosses over Kory’s face he adds, “maybe not right now, but you will. And you don’t have to do it on your own.”

Kory’s vision suddenly starts to blur from her tears, and a warmth spreads through her chest. It’s the type of warmth that is welcome, that heats her whole body down to her toes despite the bitter chill. She stretches a hand up and combs her fingers through Dick’s hair, the faint beginnings of a genuine smile on her liips.

“When did you get so wise?”

He snorts at her question, his lips twitching in amusement. “I have my moments.”

It almost makes her smile fully, but her expression only turns downcast as her thoughts linger once again on her sister. It was never Dick choosing to be  alongside her that she doubted, but it was exactly what worried her. “She could kill you, Dick.”

“I’m not so easy to kill,” he retorts jokingly, trying to lighten the mood, but Kory only seems utterly unamused and mere seconds from ranting at him and so he turns serious.

“I know this life I’ve chosen, Kory. And if the worst-” he breaks himself off before he can finish that sentence, sighing. “I’m not going to regret wanting to help you.”

Kory stares at him, her eyes scanning his face for any subtle traces of insincerity. She finds none. She wants to argue that Dick doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into, but he’s a grown man, and who is she to dictate to him what he can and can’t be willing to do. Her royal privilege doesn’t transcend to earth, and even it did she would never.

Dick leans forward, brushing a kiss against her lips. It’s fleeting and leaves her wanting more.

“I was once told that the best way to figure something out is together with someone that you trust.”  

Amusement colours her face as she vaguely remembers having the conversation he’s mentioned. It feels like such a long time ago now, and even though they went through a faire share of problems back then, she still suddenly finds herself missing those early days.  

Kory arches a brow teasingly. “And yet it took you so long to listen?”

Dick shrugs a shoulder, dropping another kiss on her lips that lasts just a little bit longer, and holds a little bit more promise. “I’m listening now, Kory.”

She nods, her head tilting to one side as a broad smile can’t help but bloom across her face this time. “Together does sounds good.”

He hums, offering her an outstretched hand. “Let’s go back to bed.”

Kory doesn’t even hesitate, she places her palm in his and lets him lead her back to his room.  

                                                              ***

Later on, when Kory’s skin is slick with sweat for a different reason this time, and Dick’s arms are locked protectively around her with his lips pressing against the back of her head, she’ll think that maybe, just maybe, they’ll be okay.  

[empyreanwritings]

prosecutor R x mob YeleNat where there're obviously conflict of interest but they somehow make the relationship work (and maybe R will leak inside information to save her gfs' asses sometimes)?

Yodid you ask for a sassy reader? no but that’s what we are getting today, vicky so get your ass ready LMAO ily 

Yelena heard the slam of the front door and knew who it was right away. Your angry steps echoed through the hallway, and Nat’s head perked up the second she realized you were about to burst into the office. 

“You think she heard about the shoot-out?” 

You slammed the door open, not even flinching when it hit the door and sent several books falling from the bookshelf. The look on your face was enough to kill a man if it could. 

Yelena nodded. “Yeah, she definitely heard.” 

“Are you kidding me?” You shouted, making your way straight towards where they stood without hesitation. “Two cops got injured in that fucking shoot-out, and now the mayor is out for blood!” 

“We weren’t the ones who shot the officers,” Nat replied calmly. “In fact, we didn’t discharge any of our weapons. That was all Pierce and his men.” 

“It doesn’t matter! They know you were involved somehow, and they are going to take you down right with the rest of them.” Your hands moved to your hips, and you shook your head. You couldn’t believe how reckless they had been with. “Of all the stupid things you have done, this is probably the worst. How the hell am I supposed to get you out of this one?” 

Yelena and Nat glanced over at each other. They had to admit, this was tougher to get out of than their other dirty deeds. The only saving grace was the officers were only injured, not killed. Had they died, it would have been a lot worse on them, but they knew they needed to figure out what to do. 

There was only so much you could do to push the DA to focus on Pierce. Once he got an idea in his head, he wasn’t going to budge. If he felt Yelena and Nat were even a little responsible for the shoot-out, he was going to gun for them. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose. They pretended not to hear you mumbling about how you fell in love with reckless idiots, but it still stung. Just a little. 

“What do you need us to do?” Yelena asked in hopes it would soothe your anger. 

You sighed. “Lay low for the next few days. Don’t make any drops, don’t let them see you at the clubs. Just stay in your home and don’t cause trouble.” 

“Anything else?” 

You didn’t want to say the words that were about to come out of your mouth. It felt like you were stabbing yourself in the eyes just thinking about it, but you knew it was the answer to everything. 

“Call Tony,” you grumbled. “He’s the best damn defense attorney. He’s the only one I know who could kick my ass in a trial if that’s what it comes to.” 

Nat raised her eyebrows, but you stuck your hand out. “Don’t even say anything. I’m not happy with it, but I know he’s gonna help.” 

As you turned and walked out of the office, you heard them yell they loved you. You just cursed at them and locked yourself in the bathroom. You were going to enjoy a nice bath and a whole bottle of wine just to forget the stress of this day. 

[muthaz-rapapa]

HealPre Final Review: Not terrible but not entirely laudable either...

*sigh* Where do I start?

Well, one thing I’m pretty sure of is that COVID definitely affected production somehow. By that, I don’t just mean the show needing to go on hiatus, resulting in a shorter run compared to previous seasons. I’m also talking about any possible changes that might’ve been made to the original narrative, if there was one.

Much like how Suite’s story had to be altered in the wake of the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami disaster, I believe Heal underwent a similar treatment in response to the pandemic becoming more widespread as 2020 went on.

Especially since it dealt with health and nature, HealPre is probably the season that has come the closest in relevancy to real life events.

Frankly, that can be quite scary because this virus was and is still a fucking nightmare on a massive global scale. From that view, I can understand why the writers/producers would be concerned of the anime hitting too near home. At least for their main demographic’s (children) sake, maybe they were compelled to shift to something lighter and less edgier so that the kids could find some comfort and enjoyment in the midst of the world’s current crisis.

So I can’t fault Toei for that, if that’s really the case. Going through a pandemic is terrifying, infuriating and exhausting and UGH. We could use something that can help ease our worries or momentarily distract us even a little bit. 

Though would it have killed them to dedicate one episode to the importance of wearing a mask or washing hands? (-_- ;;)

HOWEVER! Seeing as I am not a fragile child, I’ve still got several (oho~) criticisms to air out before I put this season behind me. This review isn’t particularly scathing but...there is a lot of discontent so you’ve been forewarned.

But first, let’s tediously review what structure means in Precure.

We all know that there are certain things that will forever (?) remain fixed in the series formula.

The plot is always going to be “magical girls fight evil doers threatening to ruin the world”.

There are plot points to indicate story progression but in reality, are put there to correspond with toy releases which are usually marked by these five: introductions, first power up, midseason Cure, second power up, and build-up to the climax + finale.

There is usually a specific message (a theme) to be told with every season and motifs (narrative tools) to aid in getting that across. For HealPre, the theme is “living is fighting” and its motifs are “health” and “nature”.

I left out “animals” b/c 1) it didn’t hold as much significance as the other two did, 2) animals are part of nature anyway and 3) let’s be real, it’s just a synonym for “mascots” which we already get every year. :P

Right. I’m probably forgetting something but for the most part, these are immovable pillars of Precure.

Story, on the other hand, has more variables you can work with.

Story is how you tell the plot, how you convey the message.

Precure, as a tv series, is unarguably carried by its main stars, the Cures. So it only makes sense that a huge percentage of a season’s success owes itself to how much of an impact its characters had on the audience as well as how effective their individual story arcs were as sub-plots tying back to the bigger picture (the message/theme).

Ideally, these arcs would shine the brightest in the filler episodes, where the plot  (“good guys vs. bad guys”) is less of a focus so there is more space for personal development and growth.

Also, not all character arcs have to be directly related to the plot but they ought to be written well in order to support the overarching message (the theme).

Now, has HealPre done that? Has each girl’s story demonstrated a good example of what “living is fighting” means?

...nnnnnnyyeeee... look, even I can’t give a straightforward answer on that because while technically they did, by virtue of Nodoka’s observance in ep 44 recounting it as such, there’s also actually not enough to make it feel substantial from a viewer’s standpoint.

At least, that’s what I thought while watching HealPre.

With the exception of Nodoka’s, there was a lot of saying but not much doing to convincingly back the other girls’ arcs up. The fillers themselves were very weak, loosely composed in relation to the motifs and, if I may be so blunt, downright boring that if Nodoka didn’t phrase those episodes as things that counted towards the theme, I probably would put up more of a fight on disagreeing. so shoot me, I’m soft for her :P

And I know that sounds confusing right now but I will elaborate as I continue.

Before that though, to be utterly fair, some seasons keep their respective themes shrouded in vagueness until they’re given a more concrete form in words around the finale. So it’s not like we can do much except make educated guesses on what they really are. Most of the time, we’re just measuring everything against our perception of a standard in the fog. Or maybe that’s just me?

Nevertheless, you can just tell, y’know? By simply watching and observing the whole show, you can tell if the characterization, the development, and the outcome (essentially the content given) really live up to what the season claims is endgame.

So let’s go through that first then. The characters, starting with our lead Cure...

Nodoka being the only Cure in her team to have an arc deserving of the praise “exceptional” should come as a surprise to no one.

She was the most solid in terms of direction on how her story was going to proceed. Out of all the girls, her journey had the greatest connection to the subject “health”, repeatedly delved into it every time the spotlight was on her and fulfilled everything it seemed to promise from her debut in episode 1.

Her struggles on the road to recovery from a long-term illness and the strength she’s drawn from that traumatizing experience as well as her time as Precure did more than establish her as the strongest character in HealPre.

She has also rose to become one of the most memorable Pink Cures in the entire franchise (personally, I rank her in the top 5).

And it’s not hard to see why she’s earned such high regard in a lot of fans’ hearts.

The writers clearly worked a lot on her character composition to the point where she can pretty much embody the theme of “living is fighting” all on her own.

She came into HealPre fresh out of the hospital and full of earnest desire to make the most of her newfound freedom but she also wasn’t without knowledge on what hardship is. From there, she only got stronger, even when she was stumbling and trying to figure things out along the way. She grew more fortified in her beliefs on what it means to be truly live a healthy life.

She bravely defied the ones who attempted to take advantage of her and twist her cause against her. And she learned that taking care of herself is equally as important as wanting others to be safe from harm.

It was never about winning or coming out on top. It was about protecting a fundamental yet precious truth. That one thing any decent human being should never have to concede: the right to live well.

Honestly, Nodoka is absolutely inspiring all around, as a fictional character, a heroine and a normal everyday person.

Everything about her arc went satisfyingly right like it was meant to and the best thing is, we don’t need to question it because we saw how it all happened with our very own eyes.

I sincerely wished I could say the same for the others but sadly, they were just too flawed.

And Pegitan can throw flippers with me all day if he wants but as undeniable as the above statements are about Chiyu, her arc failed to leap over the increasingly mounting disappointment I had with every episode that’s been assigned solely to her.

Two of which weren’t even about Chiyu. One centered on Pegitan’s admiration for his partner and the other focused on her brother, Touji. Which, while nice to give to supporting/secondary characters, is a fat waste of valuable screentime and not what I’m here for.

It also didn’t help that the conflict of her arc (the indecision over choosing between two dreams) started really late in the game and was resolved so quickly within two episodes. There was no time for me to get invested into it, there was no powerful sense of conviction like how Go!Pri or Hugtto handled theirs and really, it just felt like Chiyu was only following what the script dictated for her rather than genuinely awakening to her own competitive passion towards track and field.

It was almost like it didn’t matter. Almost as if the writers procrastinated in thinking up something worthwhile to further her development...but then settled on grabbing an old idea off the shelf without refining it to suit Chiyu when they ran out of time.

This happened similarly with Minami in Go!Pri and Elena in StarPre, both of whom left me angry at how their arcs were executed. Yet theirs don’t compare to how pissed off I am about Chiyu’s. Because while Minami’s took a while to arrive, it wasn’t done poorly and linked back to Go!Pri’s theme well enough. And while Elena’s was over crammed last minute, at least it was unique to her character and had lots of potential ways to play out if they actually started it earlier on in StarPre.

Chiyu’s arc is like a discount version of the former with hardly any of the intriguing qualities of the latter. Sure, she had two early episodes that laid out the two most important aspects of her life (her family inn and her dedication to her sport) but after that, they weren’t brought up again until we were only weeks away from the ending. Y’know, just to fill up episode slots and meet the minimal requirement of saying they did give Chiyu some issue to resolve. 

It was not engaging at all.

Furthermore, the fact that her arc had very little to no relation with either “health” or “nature” hurt my appreciation of her character somewhat. I just...don’t think her kind of story really matches with the central topics of HealPre?

...but maybe I’m being bitter about this all wrong and that’s screwing up my rational thinking on this matter.

Because Chiyu’s arc is valid under the logic of the overall theme, I would never say it isn’t. And again, character arcs don’t have to be close to the plot nor is it necessary to employ the “suffering builds character” method to make them interesting.

Chiyu always does her best every day. That’s sufficient argument on why her story does fit within the frame of HealPre’s premise.

Guess I’ll just have to wrangle my resistance into acceptance somehow.

...still, her arc could’ve been done so much better than what we were given. Chiyu at least deserved that much.

Next, Hinata.

Since the beginning, I knew she was gonna be runner-up to Nodoka for having the (for lack of better term atm) “best” arc because it was heavily implied that she has ADHD and therefore, immediately checked off the “health” trait. She was even more obvious about it than Nozomi was.

Difficulty paying attention, hyperactivity, impulsiveness. Hinata didn’t just display all those signs, she also showed how hard it was for her to deal with the downsides to them on a regular basis.

She kept apologizing and put herself down excessively for inconveniencing her friends even though they never blamed her for her condition. Got them annoyed a few times, yes, but didn’t stop them from staying friends with her and definitely didn’t make them hate her either.

Everybody was understanding of Hinata...except Hinata because she always took her failures to heart and considered quitting several times to avoid the crushing dejection of making mistakes over and over again.

She got better, though, and no one could have summed it up more heartwarmingly than Nyatoran with the encouraging words he gave her at the conclusion of her arc. 

But it still feels like there’s a huge chunk of development missing between the start and finish. Or rather, it seemed like all of it occurred offscreen and we were only informed later that it did in fact, happen.

To recap, iirc, Hinata had around 5 episodes that focused on her (ep 9, 13, 23, 35 and 40). Ep 18 doesn’t count because that was a Nyatoran-centric filler more than anything.

Ep 9 and 13 did their jobs of introducing and highlighting the details of Hinata’s troubles while also suggesting she will eventually learn to overcome her insecurities. The ones after, though? They pushed those issues to the backseat.

In Ep 23, she had to share the (uneven) spotlight with Asumi. Hinata’s improvements were briefly mentioned but the majority of the ep went to teaching Asumi what “cute” meant and how to get along with puppies. I mean, I get that Asumi recently joined the group and bonding with her was mandatory by tradition. But since each Cure only gets a limited number of eps to herself, it would’ve been more beneficial for Hinata if she didn’t have to split screentime with someone else’s growth schedule.

Ep 35 is slightly better but not by a whole lot. Sure, Natasha was able to reconcile with Elizabeth which was very sweet and heck, it was the goal for that episode. But again, nothing was really done or addressed about Hinata’s main conflict. She tossed it back with the rest of her homework to deal with later. ahaha, a TroPre hint

Then ep 40 came to formally close the curtains on her story and apparently, Hinata screwed up lots of times since...whenever but she picked herself up every time after and kept on trying. Awesome. So WHY didn’t we get to see that? 

I’m not asking for the impossible here. I’m not asking for Hinata to be cured or anything miraculous like that. There is treatment available for ADHD but it is not curable.

Also, forcing Hinata to find a way to get better at studying, the thing she struggles with the most, is not the solution either because that would only make her more stressed and anxious over her own disorder.

What I want is to see how she moved from wailing “I can’t do it! I don’t wanna! I’m so scared of failing so why bother?!” to determinedly declaring “So what if I failed 1 or 100 times? So what if I fail another 1000 times? What matters is that I don’t let that stop me!”

That confidence is not something that can be built up overnight. It’s gradual and it takes numerous tries to reach from where Hinata was to where Hinata is now.

Telling me she grew emotionally stronger can only allow me to believe so much. I need to actually witness the changes as well.

If it weren’t for that, Hinata’s arc would have been a lot more impressive. Shame.

Finally............... Asumi.

Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi... *sighs & drums fingers*

...she has no arc, ok? Seriously, what story is there to speak of, much less write a hefty analysis on?

A spirit born for the sake of Latte who just went along with the Precure ride because Latte didn’t want to abandon her duty. She made friends with those who aren’t Latte, extended her knowledge and understanding and gained valuable human experience during her stay on Earth. But ultimately, she will always define her entire existence around a puppy. 

Nothing is more important than this puppy.

...... to be honest, Asumi not having a storyline isn’t what bothers me. It’s her lack of depth that does.

Hell, even the giant burger she ate had more depth than she did!

Oh, Asumi does have a personality alright. She’s consistently and unfailingly polite, utterly devoted to her raison d’être and in crucial moments, gives pearls of wisdom when the girls are in a pinch. She’s good.

But if that’s all she is, then she’s also painfully dull.

She has nothing to contribute to the discussion of health or nature, despite being created through an element of the Earth so you’d think she’d have an opinion of her own. At least worry about the planet that gave life to her as much as she frets over Latte all the time. But nope.

She shares the exact same face as Teatine’s past Precure partner so you’d think we’d explore that connection to see if it would influence or affect her in any way. But nope.

90% of the time, her role was just being Latte’s constant, fawning satellite.

Not only did that irritate the hell out of me but it just reinforced my stance that this type of character is one of the worst you can ever insert into any narrative.

Because if someone keeps reiterating how much they’re obsessed with this one thing and seldom talks about anything else without bringing their obsession into it... then what’s so special about them on their own?

You’ve practically surrendered the different qualities you could have had for worship of something else. That’s not a fair trade-in.

Asumi’s character is so packed with Latte-related stuff that there’s not much space left for anything that can be considered uniquely Asumi.

I mean, maybe it’s because I can never see myself or any normal person comfortable with living like that.

Living for the sake of being together with the one you love? Okay. But living with your whole universe revolving around that one thing? Making most if not all decisions based on this one thing?

No. That’s absolutely crazy, alright? Nobody with a healthy amount of awareness and self-worth would live like that.

And you can counter that Asumi’s just born like that. That she can’t help her origins because Teatine’s wish to protect her daughter is essentially what brought Asumi into existence so of course, her biggest concern would be Latte. At least, she wasn’t forced into it, right? As long as Asumi chose of her own will to follow Latte, it should be fine, right?

You can even use the fact that Asumi isn’t human. That she’s a spirit and we shouldn’t apply our human standards too strictly to her.

Yea, but those are feeble defenses in the face of her being a good main character, a good main heroine. 

There are many ways to make a decent MC. The way Asumi was written proves she certainly does not possess traits that can classify her as true protagonist material. A protagonist has to be more than one amplified feature, which Asumi is not.

For the record, I don’t hate Asumi (she’s not interesting enough to generate a feeling that intense). I'm just severely let down because even if I don’t end up loving the midseason Cure for whatever reason, I can usually count on them to bring something intriguing to the table to dissect and analyze. At least I should find something to care about them.

Didn’t happen with her. :(

Oh god, I’ve been working on this post for days now and I’ve got a headache and with the baton pass happening in less than a few hours as I type this, I just really need to get it done and over with so please forgive me for speeding up through the rest, I’ll try to keep it as coherent as possible. NYARGH! (@_@ ;;)

Mascots.

Would you be surprised to hear that I’m not surprised that they were actually written very well?

Like I said early on, I suspected the return of fairy partnerships were going to improve the mascots’ significance in the story and, well, I was right. 

This time, they didn’t just fill in the usual expectations of relaying exposition, serving as the Cures’ transformation devices and looking cute for the merchandise. The Healing Animals had to make progress on their own training to become doctors as well.

And they did through their relationships with their human partners.

It was a refreshing take on the mascot aspect of the series because the friendships felt really symbiotic. When the trainees arrived on Earth, they relied on the girls to help them perform their jobs as well as provide them with shelter, food, the occasional peptalk about their trainee status, etc.

Then as the story continued and they got to know each other better, the mascots were able to return the favor by giving support when the Cures needed it. Rabirin when Nodoka was frightened and confused about how to deal with Daruizen, Pegitan when Chiyu was having trouble choosing between two dreams and Nyatoran who made sure to always lift Hinata’s spirits up when she got upset at herself.

In short, they achieved their objectives of learning what it means to be good doctors by being there for their friends! How wonderful! :D

My memory for Latte is hazy, unfortunately, since she’s coddled by everyone all the time (can’t blame them, she’s friggin’ adorable! <3) but I’ll never forget how she stood firm on the battlefield to see things through, to fight for the Earth like she promised her mother. She started out so babie but showed us all there was enormous bravery behind her cute face and ugh, we should all be very proud of her! <3

The only major issues I had about the mascots were these:

1) Too many irrelevant fillers went to them. They only needed a maximum of two for their entire mascot group.

2) Latte kept getting sick even after she acquired a Precure partner of her own. I was hoping it wouldn’t hurt her as much as it did before Asumi arrived or that she would build up a stronger immunity but noooo, they insisted on torturing the poor pupper! T_T

Villains + Finale Battle

Not a lot needs to be said for the first part. We’ve had mediocre antagonists before. HealPre’s just happened to be extra annoying as they were despicable. 

Which is worse because jerks you can just leave in the trash but assholes won’t stop harassing you unless you pummel them into their graves, set fire to their corpses and leave no trace of them behind! >:(

Y’all know who I’m talking about. Opinions on him continue to vary depending on who you talk to and if they’re avid fans of his face or not but whatever. The son of a bitch served his purpose and is dead now. That’s all that matters to me.

Anyway, the King was flat like his two lesser generals. He was neither intimidating nor distinguished enough in the brand of evil to really make us think of him as a serious threat and because of that, it ended up making the boss fight look like any run of the mill boss fight.

I know, they tried so hard with all that shiny animation but it just didn’t have that glorious sense of vindication that previous seasons (or ep 42) gave and I blame it all on this Rumiko Takahashi reject.

Also, this strategy was pretty useless?

They built it up like Earth was gonna sacrifice herself and die or something (she wouldn’t and even if she came close, deus ex machina would’ve kicked in to prevent that and COVID-induced caution too I guess). 

But there were no signs of pain (well, that’s a relief) after absorbing Shindoi-ne and they really pissed King Byogen off more than they did any damage with the absorbed byo-gen power.

...so yea, this tactic was just to kill some time and budget, nothing more. Meh.

By the way, did Asumi eject Shindoi-ne’s pathogen out of her body yet or did they just leave it in there to bounce around until it eventually dissolves on its own?

Because that’s eww. I mean, it’s obviously not gonna hurt Asumi they can both relate on hyperfocusing their affection for someone so maybe the compatibility helps :P but still, ewwwww.

Fillers + Underused Motifs

In hindsight, perhaps HealPre didn’t exactly promise the content we I wanted about “health” and “nature” if their objective was to teach that any manner of “fighting” can count towards “living”.

......but fuck you Toei, you’re still cowards! >:/

Fillers will be fillers but it’s always better to try and make some of them as meaningful as possible. And they wasted the opportunity to inform an impressionable audience (during a very crucial period of our time, I must add) on a lot of things related to the HealPre’s motifs. Especially about the environment which for some ridiculous reason, they chose not to touch on for the main stretch of the overall story.

Proper hygiene, good diet plan and sleeping habits, regular exercise (already done by the girls a few times but could use another example), meditation, counseling/therapy (especially for mental health!), etc.

Real life pollution, climate change/global warming (IMPORTANT!!), deforestation, preservation vs conservation, endangered species, recycling, volunteering to clean up your community, etc.

These just came off the top of my head but yes, there’s more and no, I’m not saying that the writers need to cover all of them in extreme detail or replace the slice-of-life episodes.

But they should be able to mesh both serious and light-hearted together in harmony somehow. Like those fillers where the mascots saw people cleaning up littering at the park or that interaction with that arborist who taught them about wild animals and trees when the group went to visit a lake.

For health, maybe let the girls visit patients with chronic illness in the hospital or have them converse with a medical professional on some matter. Particularly if it’s got something to do with mental illness because stigma in Japan on those who are afflicted with such conditions is still prevalent and has caused a number of sad and shocking tragedies that could have otherwise been avoided if people didn’t have such outdated, judgmental mindsets.

That last part might be too dark for a children’s anime but there’s a lot more out there that is doable.

Do that without reducing it into a footnote, Toei. It is so necessary for your target audience to be aware of these issues at the age they are now. You have an almost 20-year old franchise to serve as a very effective platform. Make better use of it if you truly care about the message you’re conveying through your show!

Also, what the fuck.

The last episode was a mess. Why are you only mentioning this now when the season is already over?

This should’ve been brought up months ago!

All the things we could’ve seen the Cures done to protect the Earth without magic.

The excuse of “I didn’t know humans were so horrible!” is a shit one because everybody knows humans are deplorable trash when it comes to abusing the Earth. All the more reason why you have to persistently drill it into people’s heads that they should not be like those who don’t care or choose not to care.

One crack episode isn’t going to cut that.

God, I so want to unsee this ep just so I don’t have to end HealPre on a more sour note than it already was. *big aggrieved sigh*

Lastly (and this really is the end of my long ranting, I promise), the missing undisclosed lore.

There are few Precure seasons without a past lore of its own in the recent years. Is it a wonder, though?

Lore is mysterious and fascinating. If it involves a past Precure, even more so.

Sometimes fans might just hang onto a show because they’re curious about what happened before the main story. We’d never get the full tale of those adventures but at least, it’s fun to imagine the “prequel”.

Also, past Precure are just badass. Fact.

Strangely enough, we didn’t get that for Heal. All we know is that she was called “Fuu” and was very close to Teatine. 

Hmm. Probably one of those changes caused by COVID interference cuz I can’t imagine the writers choosing not to tell her past in the original draft.

With all that finally off my chest, I’m ready to part ways with you girls until the next All Stars (Nodoka, I’m gonna miss you so much! T_T)

HealPre wasn’t the worst and it was nowhere near the best that it had the potential to be. But it’s passable. At least for those who loved it even with its flaws, I’m genuinely glad it was good for you.

For those who are thinking about picking it up (although why you would read this spoilery post before watching, I have no idea), if you’re looking for a standard magical girl anime to enjoy casually, then this is a safe pick. If you really want to invest your attention and heart into it, though? Then perhaps it would be in your interest to ask someone who saw it already to help you filter out the episodes that are worth watching. You don’t need to worry about the rest, they’re inconsequential. :P

Ok then! Thanks for reading as always, brave souls who have reached this point. 

Stay healthy and safe out there and I’ll see you at the beach next week! Tropic underwater paradise here we coooooommmmmeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! xDDD