#just me worrying about showing up in a tag where people will be reading things in bad faith and well

[paradiseismine]

Backstage - Finn Wolfhard x reader

Love note from Nina: I’ve been meaning to write this one since I’ve seen Finn’s pictures from Atlanta/Birmingham; but couldn’t find the words until now.

Pairing: Finn Wolfhard x f!reader

Summary: Finn invites you backstage after a concert with his band, The Aubreys.

Warnings: so much smut, heaven help me.

It was a warm Saturday night and your girl friends nearly dragged you out of your shared apartment in New York. They had tickets for some indie band’s concert and wanted you to tag along. After some protesting, you finally gave in.

A quick subway ride later, you got to a small theater where the concert was about to start. It wasn’t sold out (“The Aubreys” was still an indie band, after all), but there were plenty of people in there. One of your friends was able to get all three of you to the very front of the stage, the closest you could possibly be to the band.

As the concert began, you suddenly detested that night a lot less - a tall black haired boy singing the first song really got your attention. You locked eyes with him for a moment, and that was all it took.

- Do you know that boy’s name? - you nearly screamed into your friend’s ear.

- Which one?

You were so mesmerized, you barely noticed there were more than one person up there.

- The black haired one - you rolled your eyes, as if it was obvious. - The one with the guitar.

- Oh - she said, rolling her eyes too. He was SO your type, she should’ve known. - That’s Finn Wolfhard. You know, Mike from Stranger Things?

- Really? - your eyes went wide.

You had seen Stranger Things before, and while it was definitely a good show, you surely hadn’t paid enough attention to that beauty right in front of you.

The first song was over and you kept your eyes glued on him. Finn took a few steps forward, crouched and read the setlist (a piece of paper taped to the stage floor), dipping his lips in a small glass bottle. You assumed it was some sort of beer that he was drinking. He took a sip and his eyes met yours a few seconds later. The smile he gave you simply melted your heart. You smiled back and mouthed “great show”, to which he simply mouthed back “thank you”.

You spent the rest of the concert vibing to the songs, swaying your body slowly from side to side and singing along the choruses and other small phrases you were able to pick up from. Finn had his eyes glued on yours. It was like he was singing to you specifically; everybody else just happened to be there.

As the concert was coming to an end, you felt someone touch your shoulder from behind.

- Excuse me, miss - you turned around and saw one of the security guards of the venue.

- Yes? - your eyebrows furrowed, as you were utterly confused as to who that man was and what could he possibly want. He came closer and nearly whispered in your ear, which was even weirder.

- Mr. Wolfhard would like to know if you can come backstage. They’re about to finish the show - he said, in a serious tone.

You blinked rapidly a few times. Like wait, what?

- I, um… Sure - you were able to respond. - What do I do?

- Come with me - he said, gesturing for you to follow him.

You followed the guard through a small passage that led backstage, where the dressing rooms were. He opened a door whose sign said “The Aubreys” in bold red lettering.

- Mr. Wolfhard will be with you in a minute, miss. Please wait inside and make yourself comfortable.

- Ok, thank you sir - you responded, entering the room as the guard nodded and shut the door shortly after.

Ok, this was definitely something. Your friends saw you leaving with the guard, but you had no time to explain what happened. You quickly texted “lol mr. wolfhard invited me backstage, ttyl” in your group chat, just so they wouldn’t be worried.

Not long after that, the door opened again.

- Dude, I’m so tired, I could lie on the floor and sleep right now - a shorter, blond-haired boy said, his eyes seeming droopy behind his glasses.

After finishing the sentence, he noticed you.

- Whoa there - he looked at Finn.

- That’s the girl I told you about - Finn said, pointing towards you with his chin.

- Oh - the other boy responded, his eyes widening. - I’ll just grab my stuff and go to the car, ok? I’ll have the driver take me home then you text him when you want him to come back and pick you up.

- Deal - Finn patted the boy on his back. - Get some rest, bud.

The blond boy grabbed his backpack, some other stuff and left, waving you two goodbye. You were a bit awkward there for a moment.

- Sorry about Malcolm - Finn chuckled after his friend shut the door. - He insisted on playing tonight, even though he's a bit sick, so…

- It's ok - you smiled. - It was a great show.

- Aw, really? - he smiled back, happily.

- Totally… I didn’t know you had a band, but I loved it. Indie rock is so up my alley, I’m surprised I hadn’t heard about you guys before.

- I didn’t know such a pretty girl would come see me, I’m surprised I still caught your eye - he tilted his head to the side slightly, playful. - I would’ve dressed nicer if I knew you’d come, you know?

- That does sound a lot like flirting, Mr. Wolfhard… - you chuckled, jokingly slapping his arm.

- Yeah? - he leaned in closer, a naughty little smirk on his face. - That’s good then.

There was something about the way he talked, the way he looked at you, something about his hands or his toned arms, maybe… Everything made you feel so hot, so beautiful, so desired. You couldn’t help but bite your lip.

- So what’s your name, pretty girl? - he grabbed your chin, smiling.

- It’s y/n - you chuckled. - What do I call you? Finn? Finnie?

- Call me what you want - he leaned in even closer. - I intend to call you “mine”, if that’s ok with you.

He was so cocky, his posture was irresistible.

- I’ll just call you “mine” too, then - you reached for his neck, bringing his lips down to the level of your own.

The kiss was slow, at first. His tongue soon asked for entrance and danced with yours, as his hands groped your waist possessively. You grabbed the hair at his nape urgently, pulling his face impossibly closer to yours, savoring his lips, his scent, taking him in as much as you could. Finn Wolfhard was such a good kisser, it was nearly a crime.

His hands then reached down to grope your ass, but he seemed to want a bit more of a direct contact.

- That leather skirt of yours is begging to be tossed to the floor, isn’t it? Poor thing… - he said, reaching for the zipper on your lower back. - Do you mind if I put it out of its misery?

- Do it - your voice was breathy with desire. - But I could say the same about your t-shirt… It also would appreciate the floor very much right now.

He unzipped your skirt, and it soon fell to the floor. You reached for the hem of his T-shirt, pulling it up and off of his body, both garments now keeping each other company on a nearby carpet.

His pale skin was soft to the touch, his chest now taken by your wandering hands. He alternated between fondling your ass and harshly groping it, making you moan into his mouth.

After he satisfied the urgent need to grope you, Finn put his arms under your butt to lift you up and off the floor, carefully depositing your body into a dressing table.

- Is this okay? - he asked, his voice raspy and sensual. - Is my pretty girl comfortable?

- Sure - you nearly moaned, wrapping your legs around his waist to bring his body closer.

He leaned in for another round of heated kisses, and your hands reached for his belt, unbuckling it quickly and immediately unzipping his pants.

- Those pants gotta go, don’t they? - you murmured, enraptured by his touch. - May I? - you inquired, breaking the kiss to linger your gaze at his throbbing erection underneath his opened dark jeans.

- You call the shots, babe - he answered, his lips swollen from making out with you. Finn immediately discarded his pants and shoes, taking the time to take off your boots as well.

Soon, his pants were off and so was your shirt: your breasts were now getting covered in open mouth kisses, Finn seemed to be loving them, burying his face in between them. One of his hands went around your back, and his eyes shot up at yours for permission. You nodded lightly, your lips parted, hungry for some more of his touch. He unhooked your bra in a single movement, discarding it quickly.

With both hands, he kneaded your breasts eagerly, suckling into your nipples alternately. You felt like a feast in his hands.

You were both stripped down to your underwear, and Finn didn’t want to waste any time.

- Can these come off too? - he held the sides of your panties, pouting his luscious red lips.

- Only if these come off as well - you ran the sides of your feet at the sides of his boxers.

- Deal - he smirked, gliding the thin fabric of your panties down your smooth legs.

He seemed mesmerized by the sight of your glistening wet pussy. His lips quivering, his mouth nearly agape, his brows furrowed in what could only be described as pure lust. Finn kneeled in front of you, burying his face in between your legs without any further ado.

You let out a high pitched moan at the first flick of his tongue, surprised and pleased. He moaned at the taste of your pussy, making your slit vibrate deliciously in between his lips. You hissed as he kept licking your clit, his tongue circling you with the perfect pressure, the perfect speed… He was simply perfect. An index finger soon entered your drenched hole, pumping in and out of you as his tongue continued its irresistible work. As you came undone, your muscles involuntarily clenched around his finger, causing him to moan even more as he licked you through your high.

- You taste so good - he licked his lips as he stood back up, his finger still pumping in and out of you. - I bet you feel even better.

He took off his finger and held his length up to your soaking wet pussy.

- Can I?

- Yeah - you could manage to moan.

He slowly inserted himself into your tight hole, whimpering and breathing heavily at the feeling. You were even better than he had imagined. You pulled his hips closer, your eyes searching for his, trying to get him to pick up the pace. He noticed what you did, and couldn’t help but oblige.

Finn’s hair gently swayed around his neck as he thrusted, perfect, nearly in slow motion. Damn, that boy had *such* rockstar energy. You kept looking at him, eyes low with lust and pleasure from his movements, but also delighted by his beauty.

His hands grabbed your thighs possessively, harshly, trying to claim them as his. He had such beautiful hands, such a tight grip, ugh… You’d let him do whatever he wanted to do with you at that point.

- You feel so good - you moaned, squeezing him with your cunt.

- Ah, don’t squeeze me like that, baby girl - he gently grabbed your neck. - I can’t cum inside you…

- You could, if you wanted to - you teased, squeezing him again.

- You’re so naughty, princess, what should i do to you? - he removed himself from your pussy, afraid he’d cum too soon.

- Whatever you’d like, babe - you looked at him with a raw, lewd gaze.

Finn’s cock twitched in desire.

- You know, that low cut shirt you were wearing gave me some ideas…

- Oh, yeah?

- Uh-huh - he moistened his lips as his hands reached out for your naked breasts. - Can I put my cock in between them? That’d be so hot…

He squeezed them greedily, lustful.

- Sure, babe - you answered, smirking naughtily, holding yourself in an inviting way.

Finn guided his length into the valley between your breasts, and you pushed them one against the other to accommodate him. He was slick with your fluids already, so it was much easier to glide himself in that tightness you created with your hands.

His size allowed you to get the tip of his cock in between your lips, gently sucking it as he thrusted in between your boobs. His breathing was audible now, he’d even let out a few moans here and there.

You had never felt hotter in your entire life. You felt profane, naughty, lewd, everything. And you loved it.

- Damn, babe - he moaned, breathless. - You’re impossibly hot, can I cum in your mouth already?

You lightly nodded, sticking out your tongue so his tip would leak right in the middle of it. A few moans later, Finn released himself into your mouth, covering your tongue in thick, hot ropes of his cum.

You gently licked his tip clean before swallowing his seed. He was still trying to catch his breath, and the sight of you doing that certainly didn’t help.

- I swear you’re the hottest girl I’ve ever met - he panted.

- It was my pleasure, darling. - you chuckled softly.

Finn helped you get dressed and put his own clothes back on, chatting about the concert and asking some more about your musical taste. It turns out, you both loved The Beatles and wish you had a Time Machine to chill in the 1960’s together.

- Thank you for the evening, y/n - he smiled. - I had a great time.

- So did I - you smiled back at him.

- I’ll get my driver to drop you off at your place, is that ok? - he ran his fingers through your hair, his other hand busy with his phone.

- Sure - you nodded. - That’s very kind.

- No problem - he seemed to open a different tab on his phone. - Now, can I have your number?

He handed you the phone, his eyes bright and kind. You typed in your number carefully, afraid you’d mess up. You handed him back the phone, happy.

Soon, his driver arrived and he kissed you goodbye before you left the venue, just to avoid any remaining paparazzi. You walked to the car, greeted the driver and kept quiet the whole way home, reminiscing what happened. Wow.

Your heart was nearly thumping out of your chest when you finally got home and lied down on your bed after that amazing night. And as you thought it couldn’t get any better, your phone lit up.

New message - unknown number

Hi y/n, it’s Finn. did u get home safe? when can I see u again?

[catboyfurina]

I think Palestinians deserve to be stressed out over medical school exams or traffic jams on the way to work or getting behind on dishes instead of a sudden spike in aggression from a decades long attempt to erase their presence from Palestine

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[steddieas-shegoes]

it's not ever what it looks like

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is saying you're sorry'

rated m | 3,299 words | cw: language, implied sexual content | tags: angst with a happy ending, arguing, established relationship, hurt/comfort, rock star eddie munson, teacher steve harrington, modern au, steve thinks eddie is cheating on him but HE ISN'T I PROMISE, marriage proposal

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

It wasn't the first time Steve woke up to pictures and articles about Eddie being seen with some model or actor, but it was the first time he'd actually been worried.

Eddie had been distant lately. Usually, when he was on tour, he'd call Steve on his lunch break and text him when he got off of work, and he'd try to Facetime him after his show if it wasn't in a different time zone.

But for the past week or so, he had excuses. They sounded legitimate until one of the afternoons he said the band was caught up in an interview so he couldn't call and Jeff called him ten minutes later to ask where Eddie was. Even with that, Steve hadn't assumed he was cheating.

Steve figured maybe Eddie was just tired or his social battery had run out. Those kinds of things happened before occasionally.

But not daily for over a week.

He was barely even responding to texts, and the ones he did respond to were hours later and hardly adding to any conversation.

And now this article.

There was a picture of Eddie standing with his arm around some guy who was taller than him, both of them laughing, looking at each other like...well. Steve knew that look because it'd only ever been pointed at him, but now he was seeing it pointed at just some guy.

The headline read EDDIE MUNSON GIVING UP HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART FOR SUPERMODEL SUPERSTAR?

Steve decided the only way through this was to read the entire article. At least then he could probably convince himself they were wrong.

Except the article went on to explain how Eddie hadn't brough Steve to any shows yet this tour, and how he'd been flirting more with the crowd after the show instead of just during it, how he was seen at two bars over the last week when he usually doesn't go out after shows.

It went on to say that these pictures were taken shortly after they'd been seen sneaking away from a group of people they'd been hanging out with and that they seemed very close for the entire night. The article said the guy was a male lingerie model who made it big posing for Gucci last year. He'd just landed his first film role as a supporting actor and was looking to land a lead role soon.

Steve hated him. And he was getting a terrible feeling in his gut about what was going on.

He had 26 unread texts, most of them from Robin, Dustin, and Gareth.

All of them had said mostly the same things:

I can't get ahold of Eddie.

He wouldn't do this.

Something else is going on.

Call me when you can.

The last one was Gareth, and it's not that he and Gareth weren't close, but they never talked on the phone.

He tried not to think about he didn't have a single message or missed call from Eddie.

Steve called Gareth.

"Steve. Shit, I'm glad you called."

"What's going on?"

Gareth sighed. "Ed's kinda losing it. But before you call him-"

"Why would I call him? Shouldn't he be the one to call me? If he wants to be with some supermodel, he should probably be the one to break up with me, right?" Steve could feel tears gathering in his eyes, stinging the back of his throat. "I'm not sure why I have to be the one to hurt and do the breaking up."

"Steve-"

"Is there something you needed Gareth? Or were you just trying to defend your friend?"

"There's nothing to defend! I swear-"

"Yeah. Well. Tell him to call me if he wants to explain anything, I guess."

Steve hung up just before a sob ripped from his throat.

He never had to worry about Eddie being a famous rock star, spending 6-7 months of the year gone, meeting all kinds of flashy celebrities. Eddie loved him so much, he never had any doubt that he'd always be his first choice.

Until now.

It was a shitty feeling and he had to be at work in less than an hour.

No time to wallow.

He sent a quick text to Robin to let her know he was okay, but needed to focus on getting through work, then shut off his phone.

"Is everything okay?" the art teacher, Mrs. Phineas, asked him on their lunch break. "You seem out of it today."

"Just a migraine," Steve gave a half-smile, hoped it was enough to convince her to leave him alone. He still hadn't turned on his phone, and at this point, he didn't really want to.

She tilted her head to the side. "When are you off to see your man?"

"Don't know," he shrugged, ignoring the tug in his stomach, the sudden weight in his chest.

"Ah," she said, turning back to her soup. "Something happened."

"Nothing happened!"

"You look two seconds away from crying," she gave him a deadpan look. "Did he hurt you?"

Mrs. Phineas was a little older than Wayne, close to retirement, and had been his closest friend from the moment he started teaching at this school nearly six years ago. He'd told her everything about Eddie, their relationship, his hopes of Eddie taking a longer break after this tour so they could have some time just the two of them, maybe make a real plan for their future.

Steve nodded once.

Her hand covered his and she squeezed his fingers in her own. "I may not know him half as well as I know you, but I know that boy loves you. You two will get through this, whatever it is."

"I dunno if we will," Steve whispered, scared to speak louder and risk the tears falling. He'd been doing so well today.

She patted his hand and went back to eating, saying nothing else about it.

His students had caught on early that he wasn't quite his usual self, and the group of second graders had been on their best behavior because of it. As the dismissal bell rang and he started calling for bus riders to line up, someone walked through his door.

Eddie walked through his door.

He bit back the anger, knowing his students loved Eddie and wouldn't know he was here for any reason other than to say hello.

"Mr. Munson!" A few of them yelled as most of them ran up to him instead of getting in the line Steve asked them to.

"Hi kiddos!" Eddie was faking it, but luckily the students couldn't tell. "Sorry, but you guys have to listen to Mr. H right now. I promise I will come say hi again tomorrow."

The students grumbled about it and Steve took in his appearance.

He had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept the night before, his hair was in a messy bun instead of perfectly arranged to fall on his shoulders, and he was wearing Steve's hoodie that had suspiciously gone missing the last time he'd been home.

The fact that Steve's first thought was how badly he wanted to pull him into a hug was not a good sign.

He checked names off the list as they filtered out the door and then called the car riders to line up. He went through the list and made sure everyone made it into the hall where they'd be called when their parent pulled up before turning back to Eddie.

He closed his door and made his way to his desk, ignoring the way Eddie awkwardly stood by one of the student desks in the front.

"What are you doing here?" Steve asked, signing off of his work email and organizing tomorrow's lesson plan.

"I needed to explain-"

"Right."

"That article wasn't supposed to come out yet."

Steve's jaw dropped. So he wasn't going to deny it, he was just gonna act like it was the media's fault for releasing it before he could talk to Steve.

"Yeah. So you decided to come break up with me in person because you got caught cheating instead of doing it over the phone right before the article hit online. Got it."

Steve was not going to cry about this. Not in front of Eddie.

He was going to go home, shower, try to eat something, and then he was going to cry for the next 10 hours.

"No, Steve, you don't understand."

"You're right, I don't. I don't understand how you could throw away a 10 year relationship for a model who doesn't even know your middle name. I don't understand how you can fly all the way here and interrupt my day at my job to try to explain to me why you were so cozy with a guy who doesn't even know that you like your hot chocolate with Bailey's instead of regular milk. I really don't understand how you couldn't even bother to text or call me one single time since the article to even try to explain anything." Steve wiped his eyes furiously, angry that his tears were betraying him. "I don't understand why you would expect me to care for reasons."

Eddie wordlessly picked Steve's phone up off the desk and powered it on. He set it down in front of Steve and waited.

Texts and calls and emails came through all at once, hundreds of notifications lighting up his screen.

Many of them from Eddie himself.

"Go ahead. Open them," Eddie didn't sound mad, he just sounded resigned.

So Steve read through the texts, many of them different renditions of 'please Steve, call me' and 'I love you sweetheart I'm sorry.' Not promising.

But then he started playing the voicemails.

"Stevie, it's really not what it looks like. It's never what it looks like. You know that. Please call me as soon as you can. I love you."

"I can explain everything if you call me back. I promise you it isn't anything more than a business thing. Everyone in the band can tell you. I swear. Just. Please."

"I'm getting on a flight to you now. I'm gonna keep trying to call you even when I land. I need you to know what's going on."

"Just landed. I'm on my way to you. The guys are a little pissed, but you're more important than the show tonight. I'm not doing my own thing until I know you understand."

Steve looked up at him, tears still falling down his face.

"Well?" He asked, broken.

"His name is Wyatt. He's trying to make it in the acting world and he was pretty much told he was the top choice for playing lead in a movie that's in early stages of development," Eddie spoke quickly.

"Great for him."

"It's actually great for all of us. The movie is a biopic of Corroded Coffin. He's expected to play me."

At any other time, Steve would be proud, he'd be jumping up and down at this chance for them, and he'd be kissing Eddie without a care in the world.

But he still saw that picture and that article, and no matter how much "business" was going on, it was pretty clear that wasn't all that was going on.

"So you thought sleeping with him would help him get into the role? Or did you just wanna get into him?" Steve bit back.

"The article was wrong! The picture was just really conveniently timed! You know the media are vultures, Stevie. How many times have they written about us breaking up? How many times have they said Gareth and I have secretly been married for the last two years? How many times have they tried to post shitty things about your relationship before me to prove that you can't possibly be queer?" Eddie pulled Steve to his feet and cupped his face in his hands. "I've been spending the last two weeks talking with him and the producer and the guys to see what might work best for production. They want us involved in as much of the writing and filming part as possible. And he had time in his schedule to come to a show last night, so we all took him out after so he could get a taste of what it's like for us. He's really excited for the role and all of us are really excited for the movie."

Steve felt stupid. Well, maybe not stupid. His feelings were valid and he wasn't dramatic about what he'd seen.

But he did feel a little shitty about doubting Eddie.

Eddie, who had literally flown across the country to explain in person so that there was no way Steve could misunderstand him. Eddie, who once Doordashed him soup from his favorite restaurant when he was sick even though he was in Europe. Eddie, who sent letters to the kids in his class once a month to talk about how important music is and following your dreams. Eddie, who loved him for ten years and wouldn't have let anyone get in the way of what they'd built.

Steve fell against Eddie, buried his face in his neck and his hands in his shirt. Eddie's arms wrapped around him, his voice saying something against his shoulder. Steve couldn’t hear him, but he didn’t think he needed to.

He just needed to feel him.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said against his neck. Tears soaked the hoodie under him, and Steve could feel tears against his own button down. “I shouldn’t have- I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Eddie shook his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone until the article hit, but I was still gonna call you and warn you but I didn’t and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. This is part of the whole lifestyle. I should be used to it,” Steve shuddered as Eddie’s hand scratched at his scalp. “I should’ve reacted better.”

“We both didn’t treat this the way we should’ve.”

Steve snorted, nodded as he found the spot Eddie had tattooed on his neck a couple years earlier. He pressed his lips over the tattoo of his lip print.

“You flew across the country over this,” Steve pulled away and looked at Eddie, vision blurred from crying. “Just to make things okay.”

“I needed you to know. I needed to hold you. I needed to have you in front of me. And I wanted to celebrate the fact that we’re getting a movie about our lives,” Eddie smirked. “I wonder who will play you. Someone with a nice ass is a must. Their hair will have to defy gravity. Don’t know if they’ll find anyone with that smile, though.”

“Me? Why would they need anyone to play me?” Steve played with the string of the hoodie. “That might be kinda boring.”

“How would they make a movie about me and not include you? You’re the reason I ever made it past Hawkins, sweet thing,” Eddie leaned in to kiss his bottom lip. “Maybe they’ll just cast you. No one else could pull it off.”

“Eds-“ Steve blushed. “Wait. Okay, I trust you, but what were you doing in the picture?”

Eddie laughed. “He had just finished telling me about his boyfriend who lives in Italy. He’s apparently just a regular guy in finance who has no interest in the whole fame thing. Sound familiar?”

“Sounds like you two have a lot in common.”

“The picture was me asking if we could crash at their home in Italy next summer on our honeymoon,” Eddie said casually.

Steve froze. “Honeymoon?”

“I’m open to other places, but you still haven’t been to Italy and I know how much you wanted to see Rome and Florence,” Eddie was smirking.

That bastard.

“You are ridiculous, you know that? I’m over here planning how I’ll survive a breakup with you and you fly across the country to propose with a honeymoon planned before I’ve even said yes! You know how crazy that sounds, right?” Steve shook his head. “You’re lucky I love you. You’re lucky I’m not interested in big romantic gestures.”

“Damn. Hold on, let me make a call,” Eddie reached into his pocket for his phone.

“What?”

“I gotta cancel the big romantic gesture,” Eddie explained as he typed furiously on his phone.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“It was a whole thing. Robin was involved. There may have been 500 flowers ordered. I think it’s too late to cancel the singing telegram though.”

“I genuinely can’t tell if you’re being serious,” Steve wouldn’t be surprised if at least some of that was true.

“Oh, I’m serious. The ring was being set on the bed in the middle of a heart made of rose petals. I didn’t half-ass a fucking thing, angel.”

Steve pulled his phone out of his hands and set it on his desk. “Don’t cancel anything. I changed my mind. I am very much into big romantic gestures when it’s you doing them.”

“It was a team effort. I mean, I had to move it all up unexpectedly, but this was all gonna happen next month when I came home." Eddie pulled Steve into a long kiss, tongue tracing his lips. He pulled away to rest their foreheads together. "I'm not doing this just because of what happened, but I need you to know you're it for me. You've stuck by me through failing senior year, through being broke trying to book gigs all over the midwest, through the stress of our first album being released and the unexpected overnight fame, every album and tour since then, every time I've had to miss things that matter to you because of the band, all of it. You love me anyway. I don't always deserve it, but I'm grateful."

Steve's lips pressed against Eddie's again. "I love the life we have. I love you."

"I'm not asking you without the ring. I made so many plans. Robin will murder me in my sleep if I don't go through with them," Eddie laughed. "So can we get out of your classroom before I do something inappropriate and get you fired?"

"I mean," Steve glanced at the clock. "Technically all the students should be gone. We could lock the door..."

"Steven Harrington! How dare you suggest I fuck you over your desk in a school! I can't believe you would tell me to unbutton your jeans," he said as he unbuttoned his jeans. "And get on my knees." He got on his knees. "And suck you until you can't stand anymore."

"Eddie!" Steve chuckled, shoving his hand in Eddie's hair. "We should at least lock the door."

"So you're not saying no?"

"Why would I say no?"

"That's what I'm saying!" Eddie got back up and ran to the door, flipping the lock and turning back to Steve with flushed cheeks. "This is like, maybe three of my biggest fantasies in one, so I may actually come in my pants."

"You're ridiculous."

"Baby boy, my hand is my only friend on tour, you know that. How can I possibly hold myself back when I've got your dick in my mouth?" Eddie dropped to his knees again, looking up at Steve with something close to reverence.

"It's not in your mouth yet," Steve smirked as he tugged his waistband down enough to free his cock.

"Oh, I missed you," Eddie said directly to Steve's hard cock. "Steve, I want you to fuck my mouth until I pass out."

"I'm not doing that."

"Okay, well I'll settle for until I have to tap out."

"Fine. But it's not gonna be long for me," Steve shook his head. "Missed you, too."

"The sooner the better, sweetheart."

[globalrebrand]

Jealousy

Warnings: Petty behavior, light not sfw themes, but soooo minimal.

Leona Kingscholar

When he's jealous

Tries to play it off.

You really think he gives a shit who you talk to? He has better things to do than to worry about where you are and who you're hanging out with.

If that sounded like bullshit to you, that's because it is.

Involuntary grunts whenever you bring up someone who he's feels threatens your relationship in anyway.

Leona: Where were you this afternoon?

You: Oh, I wanted to shopping so Vil and I-

Leona: *low growl*

You: Excuse me?

Leona: Tch- Whatever.

Starts tagging along to thing he really doesn't want to go to or do because he wants to be close keep an eye on you. So next time you go shopping with Vil, Leona's sitting out front with the bags. And you know what, take his card and pay for all your own things, don't let Vil treat you.

Doesn't communicate what makes him unhappy, expects you to read his mind and ultimately stop hanging out with people that aren't him, or at least people he approves of. Leona doesn't like Malleus or Vil because he finds them threatening to your relationship.

Leona's appeased easily enough though. Just make it obvious that he's your number one and he'll settle down and stop being so grumpy. Tell him that there's no way you would even consider anyone else. Tell him you think he's perfect the way he is and Leona just might start purring.

When you're jealous

Oh sweet precious herbivore. You have nothing to worry about. Probably. But he’s entirely tooo flattered.

Thankfully Leona's too lazy to cheat so you really have nothing worry about. It’s already a lot of work keeping you happy, so Leona isn’t about to try twice as hard to keep a side piece.

Doesn’t even remotely entertain the attention of others. Like it’s actually so hard to turn his head. He just wants to sleep, preferably next to his herbivore, please and thank you.

He does however think your jealousy is hot.

“Hey herbivore, why don’t you show ‘em who I belong to.”

Wants you to mark your territory. Take him a little rough, leave hickeys, scratch his back. He’ll remark that it’s troublesome but won’t make any effort to cover anything up. Wears them as badges of honor.

So no he wasn't texting anyone else, or making plans with another person, or being particularly sneaky. He just wants to play chess on his phone and cuddle with you.

Cater Diamond

When he's jealous

The WORST. Turns into the world’s pettiest bitch. It’s like you’ve already dumped him.

Pouts. Sulks. Whines.

Get's a little childish. "Wouldn't you rather go hangout with your future boyfriend. 😒"

When you tell him he's being ridiculous he gets upset and defensive.

Give's cling wrap a run for its money. Starts hanging on your in public, especially around the person in question.

He was already shameless about PDA in public but when his hand starts creeping down towards your ass, while you make out on a park bench you have to give him a proper scolding. And know Cater, he's timed it perfectly so that the interloper in your relationship is passing by for class just at the right time to catch your heady make out session.

Other people likely intervene before Cater has a mature discussion with you about his jealousy because he's likely become a bit insufferable complaining about you and or this other person/people taking up your time and or attention to his friends.

Trey probably approaches you like, "uh, can you please tell Cater you're not gonna leave him for whoever?" Because he's getting on everyone's nerves with the complaining and comparing of social media profiles. Trey will make you a cake, whatever you want, just shut him up.

When you're jealous

Hot. Like soooo hot.

Makes you jealous on purpose because he finds the way you get a little possessive hot.

If you don't get jealous, its much the same as part one. He gets pouty and whiny, about how you don't really love him if you're just letting him get brazenly felt up by some random person. (He's never actually been groped but you know your man is prone to hyperbole)

When you're jealous he wants you to take control, but him in his place, gently, but passionately please.

"Sorry my partner says no," Loudly turns the other person down. Proclaims he's a taken man and that you wouldn't approve of him hanging out with them.

"But even if I wasn't taken, the answer would still be no." He's rude. And you should scold him for it.

But also praise him because look at what a good boyfriend he is, turning down his other suitors for you.

Cater thinks he's due for a little reward, don't you think?

Vil Schoenheit

When he's jealous

Watch the fuck out. Tartarus hath no fury like a Vil scorned.

He gets better about it with time, but not really. If you make Vil jealous he's going to directly confront the perceived threat to your relationship to assess the danger level.

"Hello my love, who's this?" He fights the urge to call the offender a "potato."

Gets moody with you. How could you even entertain the thought of another with the most beautiful man in the world warming your bed.

Now Vil won't get jealous of every other attractive person you come across (unless he knows for a fact this person has eyes for you.) He's not nearly that insecure but when random people start cutting into your time with him that's what he'll really make a stink about.

He's already so busy and his time is so limited, so when you go off with anyone when he has free time to be with you, he gets pissed.

Vil swears he not trying to monopolize your time but can't you see them when he's busy? He carved out this time especially for you, he believes he's owed your attention.

This is where he'll get especially petty. Oh you were going out with friends this afternoon, well he just happened to have booked a surprise spa day for you both, but he supposes he can cancel. He doesn't know when he'll get another day off but if you'd really rather go with your friends. Do not under any circumstance go with your friend if you want to keep your boyfriend

And while he's petty Vil will be very vocal about his disapproval, he won't leave you to read his mind. However, if after multiple conversations about not spending time with him on his limited days off, your relationship will be in jeopardy.

Don't make him repeat himself.

When you're jealous

Oh you sweet little darling. You're jealous of all of this attention from adoring fans who would happily destroy the life you've built together just for the chance to sniff his socks? Don't be silly. Vil would never entertain the thought of another when he has you. He's far too loyal and principled, he'll tell you if there's a problem in your relationship long before he would ever be compelled to cheat.

But also, while he'll say these sweet placating words "you're the only one for me," "how could I even look at another when I have you etc."

However don't you dare stop getting jealous. You'll have to pace it out. Too jealous and Vil will get annoyed and likely want to leave the relationship, but also know Vil is entirely that bitch who gets turned on by your jealousy.

He's a little toxic in his belief that your jealousy means you love him, that the passion in your relationship is still alive and burning hot. So if you're not acting jealously in circumstances where it absolutely makes sense for you to feel jealous he gets concerned. What do you mean you trust him to respect the fidelity of your relationship? Are you cheating? When did you stop caring about him?

"I don't like the way they look at you. Don't they understand that you're mine..."

Wrap your arms around him, nuzzle into his chest and say those words to Vil and he'll promptly need to adjust his slacks. Please show him how he's yours. He's not very fond of being submissive but if you're passionately displaying your affection while pleading for his attention he'll avoid exerting control...too much. Cover him in kisses, don't mark him-, but feel free to get a little handsy. He'll allow it just this once.

[luna-lovegreat]

Hey guys I have a favour to ask

Please do not reblog Jojos post about the patreon with complaints and disappointment.

Everything everyone is saying is valid. Your fears and concerns- the disappointment because you can't afford it- is so important

Your thoughts are important and so are you

It is very unfair to Jojo, however, to see those reblogs- with half support and half negativity.

Everyone is worried about the fandom- what it means that we might not be able to see some content- that we won't know how to handle some people knowing things before others can

But I would ask that you express those concerns on your own blogs, perhaps not even under the Lu tags.

I know your intentions are good. There is no denying that we all care. But these statements are inherently negative no matter how well meant.

No problems will go away by ignoring it- by just shutting up about it.

What I fear right now is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Most concerns are about the fandom- about there being division, a sense of "elitism".

But if we're worried about division, then we will only make it happen by arguing about it.

We should turn to unity. We can work to make this positive.

Obviously no one will share what is on the patreon before it is public. But we can still share in the wonderful excitement and discussions following updates! We should agree to have just as much joy in what we love.

We should agree for there to be no bragging- only excitement when everyone can see it, that we can share our thoughts just as well as we always could.

This is a huge step for Jojo. In motivation and getting rewarded for years of hard work. In helping her to continue what takes so much time.

We've all read big project fanfictions where the author had to stop. I find this extremely reassuring as to an underlying fear I know we've all had.

Linkeduniverse is wonderful and loved. Now we have more certainty that Jojo means to see this through- to carry out what was never intended to be a story starting out.

I get it. I am so scared too. I'm scared for the fandom and I'm scared for me. There is no way I can afford it. I may not ever be able to.

I'm scared to even make this post- to say my opinion and ask something of others

This is amazing and wonderful. I think everyone agrees that we are so proud of Jojo for taking such a big step for herself.

Reblogging her post with disappointment and rants in the tags- do not show her it's not worth it- that she will only be met with disapproval.

Let's be kind- and make this positive.

This is a good thing. Every worry and concern is valid, it shows how much we care. Let's keep this something we love.

I love you and you are amazing.

[twig-tea]

Things from Wandee Goodday ep 3 I can't stop thinking about:

I love so much that we got some good friends with benefits tension around personal boundaries when Dee asked who Yei was and then backed off (but Yak told him anyway). And between the jokes about rimming, Dee demanding Yak pay more attention to his dick last episode, and starting this episode in the 69 position, I am very, very here for this show saying over and over that sex is not just one act.

[ID: Gif of the beginning of episode 3, whichi is a pan-to-shot of Dee and Yak laying in 69 position on the floor under blankets]

i loved the different responses to hearing someone you love is in a "Friends with Benefits" situation; Kao warned Dee not to catch feelings or read too much into the situation and Cher/Yei teased Yak for lying to himself about what the situation is. Both are super valid and speak to who Dee and Yak are, who Kao and Cher/Yei are, and all of their experiences with love. And it speaks to the closeness of these relationships too, that Cher noticed Yak's necklace gone immediately and Kao similarly clocked its addition on Dee instantly.

Super here for Kao being the ultimate support bestie at work, equal parts haranguing and backing Dee up. Their relationship is perfection.

I really liked Yak peace-ing out of their agreement when Dee dropped a huge request with no context, that was so valid and in the spirit of FWB (he didn't actually owe him a bigger conversation).

I've already reblogged a couple of other people (@negrowhat and @lurkingshan) talking about this so I won't belabour it, but I am judging Dee for not only ignoring Yak's boundaries by going to his workplace and forcing him to train him and then flirting with him during training sessions after Yak both made clear he's worried about being out at work and had ended their agreement. I hope we get more of an explanation for Yak's reticence about dating a man while aiming for the championship as well as his change of mind.

The conversations with Cher and Oyei have me so curious about their history! Tell me everything, show. I put these questions in tags on a gifset (but to put them on main: Where is Oyei and Yak's father (who is also a former champ but apparently uninvolved with this family business, if he's still alive)? What happened to Yak's mother that he doesn't know if he takes after her? Why can they go to Cher's family for financial help but not Yei/Yak's (to the point where they had to take out what sounds like a predatory loan during COVID)? What is Cher afraid of re: being seen being affectionate to Oyei, and where does that come from? Is this history related to why Yak is so worried about his relationship to Dee getting in the way of his championship? All of this is seeded so organically and I'm so, so curious. It also has me even more in my feelings about Cher and Yei calling Yak their son.

[ID: Gif of Yei saying to Cher: I own this place. What's there to be afraid of? From the set linked in the paragraph above]

[I have a clown theory that Cher and Oyei's relationship is why his dad is out of the picture and his gym is in financial trouble (because it prevented Yei from getting sponsorship despite being a champion), and why Yak is worried about being in a relationship with a man even though he knows his brother won't care...we'll see how much of this the show pulls together!]

The flash of trauma from Dee at the crosswalk was interesting too; where is that going? What happened in Dee's past and how is it going to affect the story in future?

[More clown speculation: Is it related to why Dee is so good with patients and passionate about ortho? Has he seen someone in his life become disabled due to physical injury?]

Speaking of, I really loved seeing Dee be good at his job and great with patients and their families. In addition to it being just nice to see and good for our understanding of his character, it sets him up to have a fighting chance in the contest too, since patients apparently get a vote.

I love love love the camaraderie and giggling between Dee and Yak around making Ter jealous and shoving their fake relationship in those gossiping nurses' faces. The way they are actually friends who like one another and enjoy spending time together is just really wonderful to watch.

My biggest question is: Will Dee get a chance in this narrative to show up for Yak the way Yak has been showing up for Dee? And how can that current imbalance be reconciled with this all leading towards Dee trying to get a placement to go abroad--and his self-stated toxic trait of always needing to win? [shoutout to @chicademartinica for laying that out succinctly in her post]

In the meantime, I'm having a blast.

[olderthannetfic]

Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.

--

Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.

I enjoy the actual process of writing.

I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.

I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.

To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.

I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.

The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.

--

But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.

No, writing for attention isn't worth it.

The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.

But that's not actually why most people write.

[toji-girl]

the other side | r. sukuna

synopsis: You love how sweet and kind and caring Yuuji is, he is everything you wanted in a man, even the other side of him.

wc: 2.7k

tags: PLEASE READ ALL OF THIS + dark content + 18+ ONLY content + explicit smut: minors and empty blogs DNI + fem reader + he is very mean + dubcon/noncon but you do want it (will tag both just to be sure!) + biting + super hard degradation + spitting + blood play + he is in his true form mostly + mouths on his hands + creampie+ breeding mentioned throughout and he calls you a heifer + double dick! Kuna + fingering + blow job + pussy eating + orgasm denial + spanking + anal + double penetration from double dicks + dacryphilia + cum eating

an; I wrote this I think in 20 or 21 and I did edit it but please note that this is..I don't even know how to explain it lmao, this is all for fiction purposes and I write the most out-of-pocket things when I am ovulating which what I was going through when I wrote this I'm sure lmaooo

Yuuji looked at you with a sideways glance trying to figure out why you were acting out all day and even through the night until you two both settled into bed for the evening, giving him an attitude in secret hope the other person inhabiting his body would come out and play, his head cocked to the side looking at you as you sat on his lap.

“Is there anything you need?” He asked with worry in his voice while you trailed your fingers up his chest before settling both hands on his broad shoulders while straddling him. 

“Let him come out and play.” You whispered a little embarrassed that you want what people call Yuuji’s demon to show himself and play with you like a rag doll, the type of spirit most don’t want to play with but you don’t mind getting a little burnt playing with fire if it meant that you get what you wanted. 

Yuuji’s eyes went wide and he shook his head wildly. “No, it’s dangerous and you could end up hurt like the last time, he made you cry. Remember?” He asked with a frown not able to stomach the idea of it happening again, but it really didn’t matter to him, it was all up to Sukuna. 

“You can still control him, right?” You asked sweetly. Yuuji sighed, debating on what to do for several minutes as he chewed on his bottom lip in deep thought on how to handle the situation, he knew you loved him more than anything but what was so great about the other side of him? 

You love Yuuji and how sweet he really is, he treated you like a gentleman all the time, doting on you and just being himself, which you adored, of course. But a few weeks ago, Sukuna made a surprise appearance while you and Yuuji made love, and it soon turned into him leaving you in a crying, babbling mess, covered in cum and bite marks that are still healing all over your body where anyone can see and it opened a new side of you that craved that attention. 

A mouth appeared on Yuuji’s cheek and Sukuna spoke in that low, seductive voice paired with a deep cackle at the end.

“Come on, let’s teach this heifer a lesson.” His words stung, being referred to as a heifer. 

“Did you just call me a cow?” You asked stunned with your eyes wide as you stared at the pair of lips with pointy teeth hiding, just waiting to sink into your flesh. 

Yuuji slapped his hand over his cheek but another mouth grew on the back of that one with a wicked smile and sharp canine teeth shining. “Is that what you want?” Sukuna asked, you looked up at your boyfriend, who had a pained expression. “A heifer is a young female calf that has yet to be bred and since you haven’t been properly bred I think it’s time we fix that.” His tone was smug as his tongue lolled out, licking his lips before wiggling at you. 

“No.” You hesitated for only a brief second and looked away feeling a burn of humiliation and desire pulling and tangling together creating a ball of tension between your legs, your boyfriend could be a bit rougher but that wasn’t who he was and you’d never ask him to change either. 

He sighed and both mouths disappeared. You kissed him on his cheek and smiled replaying what Sukuna said. “He’s an asshole anyway, what do you say we go back to the living room and watch some TV?” You asked. After his nod, you twisted to get off his lap but felt nails dig into your waist, keeping you against him. Looking up, you already knew you would see Sukuna’s devilish smile, the dark marks adorning his skin, red eyes, and sharp teeth, and knew it was too late, he was fully in control now. 

“Ah, ah, ah. Where do you think you’re going? You’re about to get what you wanted and since I’m such an asshole maybe I should fuck yours.” In a quick motion and with really no effort on his part from his sheer strength, Sukuna had you pinned to the bed with your hands above your head. Your wrists were crushed in his tight grip while his other yanked down your shorts, leaving your bottom half bare to the cool air of the room and making you shiver. 

“You’ve been getting on my nerves all day with your whining and bitching, your mouth would look better wrapped around my cock instead of flapping about useless shit so now you’re going to take what I give you, do you understand me?” He asked using a hand to squish your cheeks together making you nod your head with a sadistic grin. 

“Yes, sir.” You choked out, Sukuna laughed while roughly pushing your legs open with his knees. His free hand ghosted over your stomach, lifting your shirt up and running his sharp nails over the flesh making you shiver under his touch. You couldn’t help but watch as another pair of arms sprouted from his sides with a sick tear that finally made you look away until one of the newly formed hands gripped your jaw, forcing your head straight. His eyes glowed as he stared down at you. 

“You’re so damn needy you know that? All that insistent bitching all day for this and you’re not even that wet. Pathetic.” He thrust his fingers inside your slick pussy, making you cry out and thrash in his hold. You watched as he opened the mouth on his palm, his long tongue lolling out and drooling over his hand and your cunt, covering it with spit and using it as a crude lube. 

A small whimper left your lips, catching his attention. His new hands were now cupping and squeezing your breasts, palming using the mouths that formed to suck the pebbled buds, then dragged his fingers over your nipples, stopping to pinch them in time with the strokes of his fingers that were sliding in and out of you with his hand still holding your jaw, giving it a dull ache. 

Bending down, he opened his mouth and roughly parted your lips with his tongue. Spit coated your chin along with his while he continued the fast pace of his fingers. “Ah, see you’re getting wet just like I knew you would since the last time I fucked you.”

His lips moved from yours to your shoulder, where he sunk his sharp teeth into the tender flesh, tearing a ragged scream from you. He lapped at the blood-forming from the wound. His tongue felt rough and so did his fingers that found your g-spot and bullied with intense pressure that felt like he was trying to reach your womb. 

He moved away from the first bite mark and suckled on your collarbone, his teeth grazing but not biting yet. 

He let go of your jaw and wrists. At this point, you were confused about how many arms and hands he had now while feeling your orgasm rush over you, the feeling made your head swim with a hazy pleasure but you weren’t allowed to cum yet and he ripped it away from you. 

“Not yet,” Sukuna said removing his slick-covered fingers, wiping them over your lips before plunging the digits into your mouth. “Suck.”

Obeying his commands, you hollowed your cheeks and sucked on his fingers, his red eyes narrowed and watched. His cock twitched in his pants but he ignored it for the time being because he wasn’t done with you. You are his favorite toy after all, and while he doesn’t really care for your own need to cum having your pussy slick and dripping made it easier for him. 

Suddenly you were empty and Sukuna was flipping you around roughly to your stomach, grabbing your hips, and pulling your ass high in the air. “This is for acting up earlier.” He said as his hand came down slapping your ass cheek. The sting caused you to yelp and tears welled in your eyes as he landed another sharp smack watching the flesh jiggle. 

“Count for me, my little plaything.”

Smack.

“One.”

Smack.

“Two.”

Smack.

“Th-three.”

When he finished the last slap he chuckled, spreading your ass and forming a tongue on his hands, running it over your clit and massaging it to hear you moan. He pulled away again, hearing you now sigh in disappointment, which made him happy with sick delight.

“Do you like being spanked?” He asked with a chuckle but you didn’t answer fast enough, one hand came down again, grabbing the back of your neck and pressing your head into the mattress, making you squeal.

“Squealing like a little fucking pig, but remember I’m going to breed you like a cow.” His harsh voice in your ear made you quiver. Moving away from you to soothe away the stinging on your ass, he pressed his lips against the red marks, kissing away the pain but something deep inside you told you that he was only warming up and was going to destroy you. 

And just like that, he sunk his teeth in, drawing blood again.

“I wonder how your cum and blood would taste mixed together.” He wondered out loud with a laugh that both made your stomach curl and cunt clench. 

His tongue darted between your lips, sloppily eating you out and making loud slurping noises with crude laughter as he passed your clit, teasing you with the threat of more pain keeping you on the edge of your orgasm, he was having fun with this, and enjoyed it thoroughly. 

Your hands gripped the pillow, scared to move because you don’t think you were ready to be spanked like that again, so you kept still as his mouth brought you to orgasm, your walls fluttering as you gushed in his mouth, the mixture of your blood and cum coated Sukuna’s tongue. 

He flipped you to your back again using his four arms. “Open your mouth.” You parted your lips slowly, he moved from his position and hovered above you. With mixed horror and desire, you watched as he dropped the blood-tinged cum in your mouth before slapping your cheek, not hard enough to sting, it was more of a condescending action. 

“Swallow, I know how much you like that.” Sukuna told you with a smirk. 

He watched you swallow, as he patted your head, “You’re such a good bitch, aren’t you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I like how obedient you are, like a well-trained dog. Those get bred too, so either way, you look at it, I’m going to double-breed you.” His voice was now sinister, even though he praised you at the beginning it only ended in degradation. 

Leaning down, he kissed you again, not giving you a chance to answer his brutal words, his tongue dipping in your mouth while his hands groped and squeezed your breasts unable to help himself, your tits and pussy have to be his favorite part of you, your mouth produces too much noise for his liking. 

“I swear if Yuuji doesn’t let me come out to fuck you once in a while, I might just kill him.” He said pulling away, watching the saliva bridge between your lips with a smirk gracing his. 

“What?” You asked panicked with wide eyes as you struggled under him, his entire massive weight was pinning you to the mattress. Sukuna threw his head back and laughed.

“Don’t worry. I won’t kill your boyfriend anytime soon, I still need him around. Plus, you’re a pleasant bonus.”

You sighed but still feared for Yuuji. Suddenly you felt awful that you asked him to even bring Sukuna out in the first place.

“Aw, are you going to cry and pout now?” He asked mocking you.

“No...”

“Good, I only like to see you cry when you’re sucking my dick or you’re so overstimulated you can’t even talk. Speaking of which...”

He dug his nails into your shoulder and moved you from your position so he could take it himself, lying down on his back. He yanked his pants down, exposing two long, thick cocks which throbbed and leaked with pre-cum pearling at the tip, they were bigger than you’ve ever seen. Before he instructed you, you kneeled between his legs titling your head to take one cock, grasping the base of the top dick that felt warm, hot and heavy in your palm as you stared down at angry tip. 

“I don’t have all day.” He bit the words out.

Opening your mouth, you swallowed him while hollowing your cheeks. Already fed up with your pace, Sukuna grabbed both sides of your head and bobbed your mouth up and down his cock at his own leisure. It was fast and brutal; you’re pretty sure your throat was going to be bruised tomorrow. You wrapped your hand around his other cock, jerking it off in order to keep him appeased.

He hissed your name, feeling your throat close around him. Looking down, he saw you crying, which only egged him on more so he thrust his hips upward, meeting your mouth. He moaned heavily before releasing thick ribbons of cum in your mouth. 

“Keep my cum in your mouth. I’m going to fuck you until I cum again, then you can swallow it., Do you understand me?” He pulled your head up. The sight of your cheeks bloated with his cum dribbling from the corners of your mouth, and your eyes wet from the tears had his cocks hard again.

He laid you down again with both legs thrown over his shoulder, keeping them spread as wide as he could get them pressed to your chest putting your cunt on display for his sick and twisted pleasure, he pressed against your pussy and the tight hole below with slow strokes up and down, rubbing the heads against both of them and watching them flutter. He leaned into land a glob of spit, watching it roll down as he slowly inched in, stuffing you deep and full. 

A low moan escaped his mouth, but you struggled, trying not to swallow his load which began to gurgle when he picked up the pace, fucking you the hardest you’ve ever been fucked. His hands stayed on your breasts throughout it all, pulling you into each thrust.

He placed his mouths on his palms and wherever he could sprout them all over your neck and shoulders and chest, leaving deep bruises so everyone could see that he left his mark. You tried to moan around the cum in your mouth but you couldn’t,  so you only hoped he would cum soon.

The sound and smell of heavy sex permeated the room while the bed creaked below you both. 

“Fuck!” Sukuna growled deeply, feeling you cream on his cock, the thin flesh between his dicks rubbed against each other, making his balls tighten. Your eyes rolled in the back of your head when he stopped and pulled you closer to him pumping you so full of hot cum that he watched it drip out for a few seconds before he scooped it up. 

He spread it all over the soft lips of your cunt and thighs before sliding his fingers covered in the sticky substance back inside you with a grin, covering and making sure you were stuffed and covered with his seed. Once he came, you swallowed and gasped for air, chest heavily erratically as you caught your breath.

As soon as Sukuna came, Yuuji regained control shaking his head and blinking a few times as he looked down at you, covered in cum, sweat, blood, tears, and bite marks with shaky legs. 

“Are you okay?” He asked sweetly cupping your cheek and looking over your bruised body. 

“Y-yes, I’m going to get in the s-shower.” You whispered unable to look at him in the eyes, there was guilt that nipped at your heels knowing you wanted to do this again. 

Yuuji helped you stand on jelly legs and walked you to the shower where he joined you and made sure to take his time to clean you up the best he could cursing himself for letting Sukuna have control over him, and it made him wonder a bit if you liked his other side more than him. 

[rossithepixie]

Alrighty since people seem interested in this I guess i'll make it an official post with a an open tag!

What JJK polycule would you be a part of?

For me like I said in my original post I took it twice and the common factor was Gojo in both

satoru gojo and suguru geto this would be a super chill, deep and fun relationship. i think you’d all be best friends. its the kind of relationship where youre all comfortable with and know each other so well that words arent really even needed. gojo loves you and geto, geto loves you and gojo, and you love them both. you would die for each other. people might not even be able to tell if you guys are together or just close friends, but the answer is: both! you have fun together, no matter where you are or what you do. i feel like you and geto have to take turns being the responsible one; if you and gojo are up to something he’ll gently persuade you not to do something that ends with jailtime, and when he and gojo plan an elaborate, sinister prank on nanami you have to tell them to please leave the poor dude alone. gojo is also the clingiest mf in the world, so youre gonna have to let him cling to you or geto like a koala sometimes. geto isnt as clingy, but will want to just rest with you while reading a book. both of them crave stability, but also fun. oh, and i just see them being protective as hell. theyre the strongest, so you never have to worry about anything happening to you. overall this relationship is just very stable and sweet, and you all love each other more than anything.

(the true otp of my self ships. Roruru)

And a bonus below the cut if you wanna see it without getting it yourself is nanago polycule

satoru gojo and kento nanami this would be a… kinda chaotic but sweet relationship. you are the middle ground that keeps nanami from killing gojo. they bicker pretty often, and disagree on a lot of things — i do think theyd love each other, though. its just in subtext. when nanami tells gojo to fuck off, its said with love. all jokes aside, i think this relationship would work out well, as long as you can balance them out. sometimes gojo needs someone to be a menace with him, sometimes nanami needs someone who ISNT a menace. gojo will steal both your and nanamis clothes, and also cling to you 24/7. nanami usually pushes him off, so youll have to oblige, otherwise he’ll sulk and ask you when the divorce is coming. he’ll buy both of you gifts all the time, and even if hes annoying sometimes, he loves you; and tries to show it, even when it ends up with him audibly saying ”cringe” afterwards. nanami is more lowkey with his affection, but shows it through acts of service and words of affirmation. he wants to make sure youre not feeling overwhelmed, especially considering youre the one who has to ”put up with gojo” most of the time. they argue and bicker, but the relationship is full of love from all sides.

I can see it but I also think I would be more stressed in this dynamic than I am in my roruru one.

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

Video Star (Request)

Travis is a star on the field, but is he just as good as your music video love interest?

Words: 1,672

Warnings: implied smut, language, DNI if under 18

“Ok, last thing to go over. We need you to choose the love interest for your music video.” Your manager handed you a piece of paper with a list of names on it. “These are all of the people who have availability over the next couple of months. We tried to pick people from different areas; athletes, a couple of models, even a musician in the mix.” You were getting ready to shoot the music video for your new song “Woman” off of your sophomore album. “Are we still going with the club scene? We need someone who can actually dance, I don’t want a repeat of last year.” Your manager nodded in agreement, jotting down notes furiously. You had chosen a model for one of your other music videos last year, and while he was extremely attractive and photogenic, he couldn’t dance worth shit and it showed on camera. You still cringe at the YouTube comments till this day.

You scanned the list, and no one caught your eye until you got to Travis Kelce. “Wait, Travis said yes? Isn’t he dating someone?” Your manager pulled up something on her phone, flipping it so you could read the headline. “Travis Kelce breaks up with longtime girlfriend Kayla Nicole.” You shrugged. You had met Travis a couple of times through work commitments, and you were a fan of his, so he seemed like the best bet. “Ok, Kelce will work. I want to meet with him before we shoot. Make sure the chemistry is there.” You handed the paper back to your manager who immediately got Travis’ team on the phone to set up a meeting.

Between your hectic schedule and Travis’ football games, you didn’t get a chance to meet up for a couple of weeks. Finally, Travis was going to be in New York for a game against the Jets and had a day off where you could grab lunch together. You rarely traveled with more than person at one time, your manager usually tagging along to your business meetings, but you asked her not to come this time because you didn’t want this to feel like work. You and Travis were going to get very “intimate” in this music video and while it was all for show, you needed it to be convincing. If the chemistry wasn’t there, no amount of editing was going to make it a good music video. You watched from the restaurant window as Travis stepped out of a taxi across the street and hustled over to the restaurant. You were surprised that he didn’t arrive with an entourage of people, and definitely expect him to take a taxi to meet you. You looked down at what you were wearing, a simple black sweater and jeans. Travis was dressed to the nines in a full suit. Forgoing the tie, a bit of his chest hair peaked out of the slightly unbuttoned white-collar shirt he was wearing. Fuck, you were going to seem like you weren’t taking this seriously at all.

He waved at you from the hostess stand and you blushed, his perfect smile making you weak in the knees. When he arrived at the table, you stood up to give him a side hug, taking in his clean cologne scent. He shrugged his suit jacket off and settled into his seat as you fixed your sweater. “Sorry I’m a few minutes late. I don’t know how to get around New York at all.”  You giggled, reassuring him with a smile. “Don’t worry about it, I just got here myself.” You opened your menu, perusing the options. You looked up after a few minutes and saw that Travis was staring at you. “Something wrong? I tried to pick a place that had a variety of options. My manager was telling me that I can be a food snob.” You were rambling, your cheeks heating up as Travis just smiled as you talked. Nothing is wrong with the restaurant. You just look really good tonight. Just admiring what’s in front of me.” The restaurant must have moved to the surface of the sun because you were burning up. “Wow, does that work on girls usually?” Travis threw his head back with a laugh. “No, but you looked so tense, I had to lighten the mood.” He shook his shoulders which made you chuckle.

Dinner quickly turned into a back and forth of stories and jokes. You were quickly building feelings for Travis, and who could blame you. He was funny, humble, and completely professional. He never made you feel uncomfortable or tried to hit on you, which was rarely the case with professional athletes.

“So, tell me what I have to do. I’m all yours.” You squeezed your thighs together at that remark, thoughts of every way you could take advantage of his generosity. “Um,” you took a sip of your drink, “we’re working with one of my favorite producers. The song is called “Woman”, it’s all about wanting to be the woman your man needs and basically seducing him through different scenes. I do want to warn you though, there is a scene where we’ll need you to dance.” You grimaced after telling Travis the concept, thinking he was going to want to back out, but he just sat there taking in the concept. “I for sure thought the dancing thing would throw you off.” “You obviously haven’t seen my touchdown celebrations. I’ve got hips that would make a salsa dancer jealous.”

When the day of the shoot arrived, you were more nervous than you thought you’d be. Your mind had been on that dinner ever since, and you had been texting back with Travis, mostly about work and the video, but he so effortlessly slid in flirty comments that gave you butterflies. You were falling for him but weren’t sure if he had similar feelings or was just a natural flirt. You decided to brush it off so you could have a successful shoot.

Travis arrived early to the set, and after you both got done with hair and makeup, you headed to the first scene, the sensual bedroom shot. You begged the producer to shoot this one first in case it went terribly, making the rest of the day would be a waste. You were both standing in the set, white robes covering your scantily clad body. You were in a leather bikini ensemble while Travis was shirtless with jeans on. “I’ve never been in a music video before.” Travis rubbed his hands together as the make-up artist took off his robe and did some quick makeup touch ups on his chest. You dropped your robe to reveal your outfit, and it took everything in Travis not to drool on the spot. You were used to wearing ridiculous outfits for music videos and performances, but you could definitely feel Travis’ eyes on you as he watched you get onto the bed.

“Alright Travis, for this scene, we’re looking for heat and passion, like the two of you haven’t seen each other for months and the sexual tension is about to erupt.” The director guided Travis through the scene. You gave Travis a funny face, mouthing that the director was a little crazy, which made him laugh. The director queued the music, which began blaring through the speakers. Travis was a natural, climbing over you, ghosting kisses over your body as he made his way up to your lips. You tried to find a place to put your hands that seemed natural, ending up hooking your fingers in the belt loops of his jeans. You hoped that Travis couldn’t feel how fast your heart was beating. You locked lips and for a second, you couldn’t hear anything but the breaths between the two of you. You pulled away, bringing yourself back to reality as the director yelled cut. You struggled to get up, the leather of your shorts slipping against the silk sheets on the bed. Your knee accidently brushed against Travis as you rolled over, and you could feel a growing bulge in his jeans.

He immediately noticed and his eyes were extremely apologetic. You grabbed his arm and gave him a reassuring squeeze. “Dave, can we take a 15-minute break? I have to go pee and I have to be cut out of these shorts.” The director nodded before announcing to the crew. The short break would give Travis a chance to “collect” himself, and he hustled out of the room after a quiet thank you towards you. You looked for Travis and found him in his dressing room, head in his hands as he sat in front of the mirror. You gave a courteous knock on the door and peaked your head in. “Hey, can I come in?” You took his silence as approval. You sat at the chair next to his, not sure what to say. Travis broke the silence. “No question about our chemistry now, huh?” you laughed, glad he was able to see the humor in the situation. “I don’t think there was ever a question, but a girl always loves a bit of reassurance.”

You both sat in a comfortable silence before you heard a knock on the door calling you back to set. “The director said he got what he needed for the bedroom shot so we don’t have to shoot that scene anymore”, you reassured Travis. “No way. I need to redeem myself, I can be better.” You patted his shoulder. “This isn’t football, no need to redeem yourself, they’ll cut the scenes together, make it look amazing.” You began walking out of the room when Travis stopped you. “At least let me make it up to you. Show you my bedroom skills in private.” You turned back to him, rolling your eyes with a smile. “Is that your way of asking me on a date?” “Technically we went on a date two weeks ago, so this is me asking you on a second date.”

[bluebeary-jay]

scattered thoughts / sharp focus

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Joel is taken away from you and upon finding him almost-dead... something in you snaps ((kinda part 2 to clouded judgment / clear mind, but you don't necessarily need to read that one))

Tags: ANGST, angst with happy ending, near death experiences, Joel has surprisingly little screen time but you'll see he was there in spirit

Warnings: REALLY graphic descriptions of violence, small panic attacks, KINDA torture(?) 😳, choking, lemme know if i missed something

Word count: 7.5K

A/N: i can't believe i've finally finished it! i aimed for a worthy successor to cj/cm aaand i hope i managed but jeez was it hard. also i told myself i won't be writing sth like that again but i kinda have an idea for the final part (would be hurt/comfort 🤭) so let me know if it's sth you'd like to read. anyway as always happy reading!! 💕🥰 comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated, i absolutely love seeing what you think of my fics!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

You swallowed your tears and rested the chin on your hands, trying to push back the wave of panic threatening to drown you.

“Tell me again.”

Tommy sighed, his own eyes empty and worried.

“I don’t know who those guys were, but they obviously knew Joel. There was a dark man leadin’ them, and I think he had somethin’ wrong with his lip, but it was too far for me to take a good look. The group consisted of five, maybe six people? And I shot one of them, but he appeared to still be alive when they were leavin’.”

You were silent for a couple of seconds, trying to make sense of it all.

“And where did they take him?”

“I reckon to the old ski resort on the top of the mountain. We ventured pretty far from here to investigate these tracks.”

You nodded and steeled yourself, taking a deep, trembling breath and quickly drying your tears.

“Okay. I’m going.”

“You’re not.” Maria leaned over the table, her expression unyielding. “The decision is final.”

“I am going,” you repeated fiercely, slamming the flat of your hand against the tabletop, but Tommy gave you a stern look, which made you bite your tongue. “Look, I get that you don’t want to lose even more people in a rescue mission–”

“This is not what it’s about,” Maria retorted, almost looking hurt by your words. “Believe me, if I wasn’t carrying another human being inside me, I’d already be going after them. But you have to take other things into consideration.”

“She’s right,” Tommy spoke up quietly, though equally irritably, and you turned sharply to look at him in disbelief. “The route to the resort is very advantageous to fall into an ambush. They could shoot us off like ducks and we’d have nowhere to hide.”

“I don’t care,” you ground out, looking from one to the other. “We can’t leave Joel. He’s your family, for goddamn–”

“You think I don’t know that?!” shouted Tommy abruptly, bringing his hand down onto the table, too. “He’s my fucking brother and was family way before you were even born!”

“Tommy.” Maria kicked him under the table, keeping one hand on her belly. Her husband flared his nostrils, clearly agitated by your words, but you were too angry yourself to care right now. You two glared at each other for some time before Tommy clenched his fists and turned around.

“M’goin’ to get some air,” he said gloomily over his shoulder, already at the door leading outside. Maria sighed and looked at you again.

“Please. Don’t do anything stupid, and I swear I’ll send a group out as soon as this blizzard ends.”

“He can be long dead by then,” you answered gravely, really set off by Tommy’s reaction and his words. You tried to will your tear ducts to hold any signs of stress and worry, not wanting to show your friend how broken and helpless you felt inside. “If it was me, he’d already be halfway there to save me, Maria.”

“I know. But just think about it. If something happens to you…” She shook her head. “How do you think I’d be able to look Joel in the eyes and explain why… how…”

She genuinely seemed at a loss of words, and you sighed, rubbing your eyes tiredly.

“I understand where you’re coming from, I really do. But I need to get him home, Maria. I have to.”

With that, you stood up, feeling like you were going to suffocate if you stayed in the room any longer. You didn’t look back even when you heard Maria calling your name softly.

There wasn’t any sense in discussing the matter with any of them – you made up your mind to go and save Joel and there was no way anyone would make you stay. He wouldn’t hesitate to go and get you if anyone dared to lay a hand on you.

You remembered that one time when he killed a group of men who wanted to use you as a bargaining chip to gain entry to Jackson. And how afterward you told him you’d do the same for him, unable to bear the painful and guilty expression on his face.

Now you planned on doing just that.

You were scared – of course you were, you weren’t stupid – and the nerves were practically eating you alive, gnawing at your bones and hurting your muscles from the inside out.

But the worst was the fear of never seeing Joel again. Of something happening to him. And you couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t at least try…

“I’m coming with you.”

Your head snapped to the side. There stood Ellie – dressed in a warm jacket and a hat that didn’t cover her ears. Her eyes were full of fire, and you recognized the anger and determination in her expression as the same which were almost suffocating you.

Of course she was eavesdropping on the conversation. It was Joel that it was about, after all, her dad in all but one sense.

And suddenly you understood what Maria meant by not being able to look Joel in the eyes if something happened to you.

“No,” you said curtly, walking past her and out onto the street in the direction of your house.

“I’m not asking for permission.” Ellie was right behind you, and the force of her steps showed just how angry and frustrated she was – just like you felt. “I know you’re gonna go after those guys, and I’m coming with you.”

“You’re not,” you repeated more sternly, not turning around to face her. You reached your house and fumbled to open the door. “You’re staying and that’s fina–”

You stopped yourself and sighed, pressing your forehead against the wooden surface.

It was unfair. You were unfair. If those exact words spoken by Maria have set you off so much, you wouldn’t be surprised if Ellie…

“You’re not my fucking mom, remember?” the girl barked angrily, and you let out a shuddering breath, stressed to your limits with everything that happened in the last few hours. “You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do just because you’re older!”

It’s okay. It’s gonna be fine. Everything is gonna be okay.

“I know,” you whispered after a couple of seconds of silence, still not turning around. “I’m sorry.”

Ellie didn’t answer. You repeated your quiet mantra and glanced over your shoulder at her. “But Ellie, I… I can’t let you go. Joel would never forgive me if something happened to you.”

Jesus. Exactly like Maria.

Ellie still looked pissed at your earlier words, and she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Well, you’re not the only one who cares about him, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. But you’re the one he cares about the most.”

Ellie opened her mouth. Closed it and furrowed her eyebrows, but the irritation in her eyes dimmed. You gave her a small, apologetic smile, trying not to burst into tears.

“He’s gonna be fine, you know,” you lied smoothly, opening the door. “And Maria said she’ll send a group to retrieve him as soon as the storm eases up a bit.”

You didn’t even need to look to know that she didn’t believe you. To be honest, you wouldn’t believe yourself either in this situation.

You waited several seconds to see if the girl wanted to say something else, but after a few moments she spun on her heel and went back, not saying anything. You stared after her, but when the thick snow made her figure just a fuzzy shape, you gently closed the door and pressed the heels of your hands to your eyes.

It’s going to be fine. You’ll get Joel back and all will be okay.

You took a couple of deep – albeit shaky – breaths to pull yourself together, and when you were pretty sure you weren’t about to start crying, you made your way into the kitchen. And stopped short.

At your table sat Tommy, fiddling with his thumbs.

“Fuck, Tommy,” you mumbled, trying to calm down your pounding heart. “You scared the crap out of me.”

The younger Miller looked up, but stayed silent. You looked at each other for a few tense moments, but ultimately you sighed and left him in the kitchen, going to your room to get a backpack and another, more fitting, set of clothes.

He was still there when you returned to the kitchen with your stuff, but you didn’t even pretend you weren’t preparing to head out. The man watched silently as you put the backpack down by the door, went to retrieve and reload your gun, and gathered some essentials on the table, not once glancing in his direction.

You were persistent in ignoring Tommy’s presence, but then he finally spoke up.

“We can go before dawn. I’ll get the horses ready and we will take the fourth gate.”

You froze and stopped what you were doing, then turned around and placed your hand on your hip.

“We can’t take horses up there. Not in this weather.”

“We’ll leave them at the fifteenth checkmark. That place in the East where there are so many swallows durin’ spring.”

You nodded, and your gaze softened when you looked him over. Tommy was just as worried about Joel as you were, you knew it. He was just better at hiding it.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” you murmured, feeling terrible that in such a short amount of time, it was a second person you were apologizing to. “But you know I have to go after him. You know that.”

“Fuck,” he swore quietly, sighing. “Yeah, I know. There’s no way I ain’t goin’ either. Just… I just hate doing somethin’ behind Maria’s back.”

You didn’t answer – because what could you say? That he didn’t have to go with you? As much as you wanted to save Joel, pretending not to care about the dangers or anyone’s opinion, you knew you’d probably die if you went alone. But it didn’t mean you were going to ignore all that Tommy was risking by coming along with you.

“You don’t have to, Tommy,” you whispered. “You have your wife to think about, after all. And your–”

“I know,” he interrupted glumly. “Don’t worry. All of us will come back.”

You nodded. You really hoped he was right.

*****

At first, everything was going according to plan.

At least, until Ellie decided to show up.

She surprised both you and Tommy a couple of miles outside of Jackson, probably thinking that it was far enough that you won’t try to send her away.

You tried anyway. You were understandably furious, not only because she didn’t listen to you, but also that she trailed after you both for so long in this weather. Her reveal caused a short screaming match and a couple of nervous tears shed by you, but eventually you and Tommy decided it’d be more dangerous to make Ellie go back to Jackson alone. So she continued with you to the house where you left your horses, then past it and in the direction of the ski resort.

You didn’t know how many people were at the resort, and there were only the two of you – well, three, counting Ellie, but no matter her stubbornness, you weren’t going to let her go in – and an attack was too risky in this situation.

So you decided to sneak in. To distract and draw the kidnappers’ attention long enough for you to get Joel out.  It was still stupidly risky, but it wasn’t like there were much more options that wouldn’t end in those guys killing all of you. The plan was that Tommy would find a vantage point and be on guard to take down any threats with his sniper rifle if you were noticed, while you go get Joel.

Ellie… Ellie didn’t take no for an answer. And as much as you hated that she tagged along on this dangerous rescue mission, you had to admit that she came prepared. Apparently some time ago Joel taught her how to make trap mines and she pitched the idea of planting some up the mountain to create an avalanche.

Well, you and Tommy were both very much against setting off a full-blown avalanche, but it wasn’t a bad idea per se. So it was agreed that Tommy will help her set the bombs in some strategic places while you wait for a signal to go in.

The sneaking in part was surprisingly easy. The people staying there didn’t leave any guards outside, probably because they didn’t expect that someone would actually look for them in this weather, and it seemed that there weren’t that many of them inside like you feared. You had a vague idea where Joel might be, based on the positioning of the people present, so you reckoned it’ll be the wisest to wait nearby.

It took about an hour of hiding in one of the empty rooms (you had to change your hiding spot once, because someone decided to randomly sweep the perimeter) before you heard distant explosions and panicked, angry yells, and then a rumble of the mountain. You suspected a fair amount of snow was falling down the slope, and you prayed that Ellie and Tommy were in a safe place when that happened.

You heard the sound of footsteps getting further away. Then more of it. It was eerily silent, and you counted to ten in your head, before slowly exiting your hiding spot.

Just as you suspected, Joel was held in the lobby, tied to one of the decorative columns, and even though his back was to you, you’d recognize him anywhere, even by hands or the back of his head alone. A quick glance around the room confirmed that there was no one around, but still you preferred to stay on guard. You silently tip-toed to where he was sitting on the floor, mindful of all the debris scattered on the floor and keeping your head low, and breathed a sigh of relief when you finally reached him.

“Don’t move,” you whispered, barely moving your lips. Your fingers touched his wrist and he budged slightly. You angled your face closer to the left side of his head, hoping he’ll hear you better this way. “It’s me, Joel. I’m gonna get these off you, okay?”

Not waiting for the reply, you took out your knife and started to cut the thick, coarse rope binding Joel’s wrists. You winced at the burns underneath, but you managed not to cut him, which was a feat with how tight the ropes were. He was very still, probably not wanting to handicap you.

“Okay,” you whispered when the last of the thick strands were cut through, and you carefully slid the remnants of the rope from his wrists. “Now follow me, Tommy is…”

Your voice died down when Joel’s arms loosely slumped down, along with his head, and a second later his torso started tilting to the side before heavily hitting the ground.

Your heart stopped in your chest.

“No.” The whispered word escaped you when you hurried around him, now not caring about staying hidden. “No, no, no, please…”

You rolled Joel onto his back and only now saw the damage done to him – his nose broken, face covered in blood, a gash under his left ear, and a still bleeding gunshot wound in his arm. He didn’t look dead, didn’t have that lifeless emptiness around him, but his eyes were closed and his chest was still. You put your ear to his mouth, desperate to feel his breath on your skin, but…

No, it can’t be, it can’t…

You couldn’t feel anything.

“Joel,” you said quietly, taking his face between your hands, but tears were blurring your vision. “Come on, please open your eyes.” A choked sob broke out of your throat and you shook your head when he still didn’t even as much as stir. “Love, please…”

That’s when your eyes landed on a small, glass vial lying discarded some feet away. You looked from it to Joel, tears clouding your vision, and scrambled forward to check it out.

As you suspected, the syringe – because that’s what it turned out to be – had the traces of a thick, translucent liquid in it left. There wasn’t any writing on it, but the glass was clean, unlike various other bottles and wrappings scattered throughout the facility. You stared at it for a couple of seconds, then fixed your gaze on Joel again.

Just as the sound of footsteps started to echo down the hall.

You froze and strained your ears to make sure you didn’t imagine it, then took a look around the room. The doors were slightly ajar, but whoever was coming here, they couldn’t see you just yet. Panic seized your insides and you turned to Joel again.

“Sweetheart, please wake up,” you whispered pleadingly, shaking his shoulders and slapping his cheek lightly. “Come on, look at me, open your eyes…"

The steps were getting louder by the second. You tore the glove off your hand with your teeth and tried to very quickly check Joel’s pulse, but either in your panic you couldn’t find it, or the heartbeat was too slow for you to pick up.

You didn’t consider any other option.

There wasn’t much time left, so finally you left him and quietly went to hide behind the door, waiting for the incomer to walk in. Your hand reached for the gun on your belt.

And paused.

There couldn’t be any other option… right? Joel was alive, you just failed to find his pulse. He…

He was lying, still in the place you left him, and you couldn’t see his chest moving. The blood was flowing from the wound in his arm, staining his jacket and the floor… Your hand, the one holding the pistol, was covered in it, too…

Then you did something you never expected of yourself.

The gun stayed in its holster, and you went to grab from the ground one of the heavier pieces of debris you noticed before, a long metal pipe. Your hands tightened on the metal, and your eyes stayed on Joel’s lifeless form. You took a stifled, nervous breath. Then a deep, steadying one.

The person in the hall was really close now. Joel still didn’t appear to be moving or breathing, and it made your own chest feel tight and painful.

He couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t.

But if they did this, if… if he won’t ever open his beautiful brown eyes again, say your name in that entricing raspy drawl…

The doors to your right opened and your face twisted in rage and resentment. Your muscles tensed and focus sharpened.

The man who walked through the door made a noise of surprise at the sight of Joel lying on the floor – and that inhaling sound, that maddening noise seemed to taunt you, because how dared he breathe when Joel’s own breath was stolen from him, when you weren’t sure if it was still there – right before you stepped forward and swung the pipe with all your might.

The man – dark skin, with short hair – fell down with a loud cry when the harsh metal hit him right in the temple. Your eyes scanned his figure for a weapon, and you hit him again, this time somewhere near his stomach, when he made a move to reach for his knife.

“What did you give him?!” you asked with malice and venom that were so alien to you, you almost didn’t recognize your voice. The man’s eyes focused on you for the first time when you kicked his blade away, and his confusion turned to anger.

“Crazy bitch!” he spat, heaving for air, and lunged at you, but the open wound in his skull must’ve slowed him down, because without any problem you managed to raise your makeshift weapon before he could grab you.

Since you met him so many years ago, you always had Joel to watch your back. Now you were alone, but somehow that thought didn’t scare you. It exhilarated you.

An unpleasant, hair-rising crack echoed in the room, followed by the stranger’s scream, when the heavy metal smashed the bones in the forearm.

“I asked… a simple, fucking, question!” you snarled at the man, bringing the pipe down again, aiming for his hand this time. He moved it away at the last second, which enraged you even more, so with a mad, frustrated scream, you smashed his knee, using the pipe’s momentum when it bounced off the floor. “What the fuck did you do to him?!!”

He screamed, loudly and terribly, cursing at you with every shaky breath he took, and–

You felt so unlike you, so… out of your skin, somehow… but you wanted to make him suffer. You wanted to know this inhuman cry of pain that was reverberating through the walls of the resort was your doing and your power over this bastard. Because of what they did to Joel.

Then a loud bang rang out in the air, and you instinctively ducked your head when a part of the door to your side was shot off. You dropped the pipe – no use for it now – and drew your gun, noticing with surprise that your heart was steady and your breath even, as if you didn’t almost get shot just now.

Another bullet was sent in your direction, and a woman’s voice yelled something inaudible, while you stood still and counted the seconds.

Three, two…

In a rapid movement, you came out of cover and aimed at the person standing in the hall, firing twice. The first bullet hit the woman in the arm while the second seemed to burrow itself in her stomach. She fell backwards with a curt cry, and the man lying at your feet roared with rage.

“No! You fucking bitch, leave her alone!!”

Your motions were almost automatic as you put your gun away and picked up the metal pipe again, its end splattered with blood. The man in front of you had to see something in your eyes – despair? emptiness? hatred? – because his face fell and he started quietly begging for you to stop and let him go. At least that’s what you assumed he was saying, because you didn’t listen to him one bit.

“Do not…” you started, unexpectedly calmly, bringing the end of the blunt weapon down. The impact caused his shinbone to break, and you lingered for just a moment to hear the bitter cracks of the shattered bones, “fucking… go anywhere. Don’t you dare move, hear me?”

The man didn’t answer, just cursed and wept in pain. The sound was horrible, but you almost didn’t notice it – or more accurately, didn’t care. Which would be even more concerning if you weren’t aware of the woman lying injured in the hall behind the door, and Joel, still unmoving and cold to the touch on the other side of the room.

Slowly, not hearing the black man’s cries or distant gunshots from where Tommy probably was taking down the enemies, and not caring about the blood of a stranger covering your jacket and pants, you dropped the pipe and took out your gun again. Then you made your way down the corridor, your eyes locked on the woman who shot at you.

She was groaning in pain, clutching at her stomach. When she noticed you, her hand reached for the pistol which lay discarded next to her, but you quickly lifted your own and aimed at her before she touched it.

“Don’t move,” you murmured, which would sound almost soft if it weren’t for the empty look in your eyes. The woman scanned you up and down, and slowly lifted her hands.

“Who are you?”

“What did you give him?” you asked like you didn’t hear her, coming closer to kick away her gun to the far end of the hall. The woman’s eyes followed the weapon, then shifted to you.

“Do you even know what that man did? What is he guilty of?”

“I know. Now answer the damn question. What did you give–”

The door on your left slammed open and you only had time to turn your head before a heavy body collided with you, pushing you to the wall. Your head hit the bricks with an echoing crack, knocking the breath out of you. A man who surprised you grabbed the material of your jacket and slammed you into the wall again, but you managed to grab his hair and yank it hard, which allowed you to step to the side and away from the point of disadvantage that being trapped against the wall was.

The man – taller than you, with a black eye and without one of the front teeth – was quick to recover, however, and catched the wrist of your hand that held the gun, pushing it to the side when you pulled the trigger. From the corner of your eye you could see the woman you shot curling up and covering her head, then trying to scamper away, but the wound in her stomach was a significant impediment.

You fired again, trying to wrestle the gun from the man, but his grip was strong and after a few seconds of struggle he managed to knock the weapon out of your grasp, sending it flying to where you kicked off the woman’s one earlier.

Not sooner than your hands were empty, his elbow collided with your face, hard, and you cried when a gush of blood started pouring from the broken nose and a cut on your lip. Fear washed over you, and sheer luck caused you to duck to the side in time, avoiding a fist to the temple.

You stumbled backwards a few unstable steps, breathing heavily. The guy was smirking, acting like he already won – but you weren’t about to die in this sleazy, stinky place, leaving Ellie all alone and never knowing why they abducted Joel in the first place.

Joel…

“You’ve made a huge mistake,” said the man quietly, taking one, then two steps forward and swinging again. You backed away a second time, feeling your heart pounding in panic and knowing you didn’t stand a chance against a man of his stature.

Finally your luck ran out, and the man managed to hit you in the jaw, making you taste blood on your tongue. Before you could recover, one of his hands shot forward and grabbed you by the throat, and then, still keeping his big hand on your neck, he brought your entire torso down, slamming you to the ground. You hit your head hard and the glass shards on the floor embedded themselves in your skin, but in the next moment the sound of your painful scream was cut short. The grip the man had on your throat tightened, and you started to have difficulty breathing.

Your eyes budged in fear as realization of what was happening dawned on you, and you started to kick and struggle wildly, reaching for your attacker’s face, but he moved out of reach, still putting his whole weight down on you.

Your fists were hitting his forearms, your nails scratching his cheeks, whatever to make him let go. But he didn’t, his hands still squeezing your throat so strongly and crushing your esophagus.

“After I kill you, I’ll go kill your friend,” your attacker snickered, smiling viciously as he watched ice-cold panic enveloping you. “He’s not worthy of keeping him alive that long, anyway.”

Something ignited inside you at his words.

Joel.

You suddenly remembered the many self-defense lessons Joel had given you, so that whenever he wasn’t there to protect you, you could do it yourself. He was always so afraid for your life…

Slowly and with great effort, your fingers crept down, searching for the handle of your hunting knife, while dark spots started to appear before your vision, partially covering the sneering face of the man crushing your windpipe. He said something else – something you didn’t even hear because of the ringing in your ears…

And then with the last bit of your strength, you yanked the knife out of its sheath and buried the blade in the side of his neck.

Several things happened simultaneously: the man cried in surprise and let you go, the woman shouted a warning – too late – and you swung your leg over him, straddling and stabbing the man over and over again. His neck, his chest, his face, you didn’t even see what you were hitting. Screaming your lungs out and burying the blade in him again, and again, and again.

And again.

With an outraged, desperate cry, the woman lunged at you, but the adrenaline coursing through your system made you not even register something cutting deeply the skin of your arm, your veins and muscles giving way. You spun around, tumbling with her to the ground, but quickly managed to pin her down, blocking her arms in place with your knees, and pressing the tip of your knife to her chest.

She immediately stopped moving.

“Last fucking chance,” you croaked with difficulty, your neck bruised and swollen. “What… did you give him?”

You didn’t know if it was the sight of you, bloodied and wounded, the fact that you just violently killed her friend, or something else entirely – but now the woman looked scared.

“Okay,” she whispered, trying not to breathe too deeply, and glanced nervously at the blade pressed against her skin. “Okay, I’ll tell you, just don’t… It was a tranquilizer. Nothing dangerous, we just put him to sleep for a couple of hours. He was putting up quite a fight and the guys were getting antsy that he’ll pull something off before–”

“He’s not breathing,” you rasped viciously, sputtering blood onto her face. The woman flinched and took a shaky breath.

“His heart rate is slowed down, but it doesn’t– it shouldn’t kill him.”

You clenched your teeth, then exhaled. Inhaled.

You have to take a grip of yourself. He is alive. He has to be…

Should be.

The weight with which you had pinned her to the ground became lighter, and the woman sighed with relief when you removed the sharp end from her chest.

“It shouldn’t… kill him?” you repeated emptily, trying to dismiss the pain in your throat when you were speaking.

“No.”

Your head was still buzzing, but you tried to push it to the side, to focus on what was important right now.

“Why… did you take him?”

And just with that one, quiet question, the woman’s expression changed. You were considering letting her go, since you already hurt her pretty badly, but the sudden shift in her behavior set off alarm bells in your head once more.

“He’s a murderer,” the woman said, as if it was the most obvious answer. “A monster that would do everyone a favor if he got put down.”

White, blinding fury flooded your veins and it felt almost as if electricity was cracking above your skin. Your hand held the knife tighter.

‘Put down’, like… like an animal. She was talking about the man you loved–

You weren’t able to stop the hatred and rage flowing out of every pore of your skin. In one swift motion you plunged the knife into the woman’s chest, making her choke and gasp in surprise.

“You cannot call him that,” you spluttered, barely able to speak from the pain. “You…”

And then your hand forced its way lower down, still holding the handle of your weapon. Cutting through the woman’s – now struggling and screaming in agony – abdomen and guts.

They went so far as to abduct Joel, they took him from you, hurt and shot him, wanted to torture him, to make him suffer before they ultimately kill him…

But they didn’t, he can’t be dead, he can’t–

The woman was conscious the entire time as you were ripping her insides apart, and her screams died down only after you reached the navel.

Your vision was blurry and faltering when you stood up, but your heart was still beating steadily. There was an echo of a scream in your ears, though you couldn’t tell if it was your or the dead woman’s voice.

There wasn’t anyone else in the hallway. In the back of your mind you hoped that Tommy took care of any remaining enemies, because if they’d come running here, you didn’t think you’d be able to hear them in time.

Clutching your injured arm, you slowly made your way to the room where you left Joel and the man who attacked you first. Your gun was lying near the entrance and you picked it up before pushing the door open and staggering inside.

The man wasn’t where you left him. Instead there was a big pool of blood, forming into a wide, smeared path leading further into the lobby. At the end of it you saw him, groaning and crawling to the exit.

You reloaded the gun and walked closer. At the sound, the man turned his head and his eyes widened when he saw you.

“You fucking psycho!” he spat, bracing himself on the elbow of his left arm – the only one still working. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?! When she sees it, they’ll come for you, and they’ll make sure that the two of you will fucking pay for it!”

His words were flowing through you as you struggled to keep your vision focused. You felt weird – almost like waking up way too early and finding your body not listening to you entirely.

Then you realized. The hungry, burning anger was gone, the embers of hatred slowly dying out. There was only smoke and emptiness left inside you.

“I don’t care,” you mumbled, not loud enough for the man to hear you, but that didn’t matter – two seconds later he was dead, his brain splattered all over the floor behind him.

Your hand was shaking. Cold crept up your limbs, embracing and almost choking you as you breathed in, out, faster and faster as you finally comprehended what you did.

Your eyes moved down to the man’s indented knee, completely smashed into a bloody mess. The other limb was all wrong, his foot sticking in the opposite direction and no wonder he had to crawl to get away from you, you destroyed his legs, you…

You staggered backwards, your pupils darting to the hallway just for a second before returning to the battered corpse in front of you. The back of his skull was gone now, but how did he stay conscious for so long after you smashed his head with a metal pipe? There was so much blood on it… How much pain he must have felt after you left him?

And that woman… He begged you to leave her alone, and you… you ripped her open…

You moved back, back and further away, before tripping and falling to the floor. Your breaths were fast and shallow, and you reached for your neck, sore and swollen from almost being strangled, trying to will your lungs to work.

They were bad people. They took and hurt Joel, and planned to kill him. You had to kill them, they’d kill you in a heartbeat, they…

It wasn’t like you’ve never taken a life before, but it was the first time that you inflicted pain on somebody on purpose – not in self-defense, but because you wanted to retaliate. It was done in revenge.

You didn’t know for how long you had sat there when you heard someone saying your name. It sounded like… No, it couldn’t have been his voice, he was unconscious, he wasn’t breathing…

Suddenly, Tommy’s face appeared in your blurry field of vision – of course it was him, their voices were so similar, after all – and there was a deep crease between his brows. He looked worried and fearful, and–

“Snap out of it,” he said firmly, shaking your shoulders harder than he should have. Your name fell from his lips when you didn’t answer, and his eyes followed yours to a battered body on the floor. “Look at me. Look at me.” Tommy forcefully turned your chin in his direction, and his eyes were full of sorrow and pain. “You did what you had to do.”

You shook your head, swallowing the tears that streamed down your face. He didn’t know what you did. He didn’t understand what happened here, what happened with you… You yourself didn’t know what happened to you.

Tommy brought you closer to his chest, enveloping you in his strong embrace and the smell of leather and gunpowder. You choked on air, unable to stop the sobs racking your body, and deaf to his words, for the only thing you could hear were cracks of bones, screams of pain, and your own vengeful cries.

It was so loud in your mind that you almost missed a quiet grunt coming from behind you.

*****

Joel slowly opened his eye, then groaned and closed it again. He felt like shit and it was so hard to breathe, but he pushed through the pain and discomfort from the wound in his side, and tried again.

The first thing he saw was the greenish curtain, hiding the rest of the room from him, but judging by the fact that he was lying in bed, alive, with apparently all his wounds dressed, he figured it wasn’t the same place that group of angry youngsters took him to.

Lifting his head and turning it to the other side was a tremendous task, but it was so worth it – because there was you. Sitting in a chair next to him, asleep and with your head lying on folded arms on his bed. Joel smiled softly, but then furrowed his brows as a pang of anxiety shot right through him.

Your face was a mess, with cuts and bruises healing, your brow was split, and one of your forearms had a bandage wrapped around it, now a little dirty around the edges. Joel couldn’t see clearly, but your neck seemed… dark, as if the skin was bruised there, too.

What the hell happened?

He lifted his arm – the tingles and needles pierced his stiff limb – and brushed your cheek lightly, trying to wake you.

“Darlin’...” he murmured, and you stirred. He tried to say it again, louder this time, but his throat was scratchy and he winced at the feeling. There was no need for it, however, because in the next moment your eyes fluttered open and then widened when you took in the sight of him, realizing he’s awake.

“Joel!” Your hands – God, he missed the feeling of them – cupped his face gently, and your eyes filled with tears in the matter of seconds. “Oh my god, baby…”

“Hey, hey, I’m fine,” he breathed out quickly, not wanting to see you cry. “It’s okay, darlin’... I’m here.”

You sobbed with a dazzling smile, your beautiful eyes dancing across his features before you darted forward and pressed your lips to his firmly. Joel could almost taste the desperation and worry in your shaky breaths and tears that fell from your eyes and onto his tongue. He wanted to tangle his fingers in your hair and bring you in closer, but a sudden, sharp pain pierced his arm when he tried to move it, and he hissed into your mouth.

“Sorry,” you whispered and moved away quickly, letting out a broken laugh and brushing the unruly strands of hair away from his forehead. “I’m just so happy you’re okay.”

Joel wanted to ask what exactly had happened while he was out, but before he got a chance, you leaned in again and started softly peppering his face in kisses – first his cheek, then his forehead, then the tip of his nose and his chin. And Joel didn’t have the heart to stop you.

And that’s how Ellie found you both. She gagged when she saw the display of affection, but there was a grin on her face when he looked over at her.

“Gross,” she scrunched her nose. “But I’m glad to see you awake.”

“Yeah, well, I still feel pretty shitty,” he grunted, scanning the kid for any injuries, but she didn’t look any worse for the wear. His eyes strayed to your neck again, and the concern came back double-barreled. “What happened to you, sweetheart? Where–”

“I’ll… go get the doctor.” You stood up abruptly before he could finish, and looked over at Ellie. “Will you stay with him?”

“Yeah. Sure.” The teen shrugged, but now was avoiding Joel’s eyes, and he felt more uneasy and agitated by the second.

“Okay. Be right back, love. Gonna grab you some water, too.” You squeezed his hand and smiled. Joel’s eyes escorted you, and when he made sure you were out of the earshot, he turned to Ellie.

“What happened?”

“Well.” The teen blew out her cheeks and went to take a seat you previously occupied. “You were attacked during the patrol…”

“Yeah, no, that I remember,” Joel interrupted quietly. “They shot me, took me to that ski resort. But how am I here? Did she…”

He trailed off. Ellie looked at the curtain you disappeared behind, then back at Joel. “Listen, I wasn’t there, so m’not sure,” she mumbled quietly. “But after she and Tommy got you out, she was sorta… different.”

“Different how?” he asked sharply. Ellie bit the inside of her cheek, looking away. “Ellie.”

“I don’t know, okay?” she answered in a sudden burst. “She looked like hell. You saw her neck, I think someone tried to choke her, and she had an ugly cut on her leg, a fuckton of cuts and bruises… And the doctor spent hours getting all the glass shards out of her.”

Joel got up as much as he could, feeling a pit of anxiety rising in his chest. Ellie was silent for a while before she spoke again, this time surprisingly softly.

“Remember when you beat the shit out of that soldier when we were escaping QZ in Boston?” Joel nodded slightly – she did, too. “Yeah. She had a similar… kind of look on her face, and it looked… not exactly scary, but alien.” The teen looked up. “My guess is she did some fucked up shit to get to you. Tommy said she’s been having real bad nightmares since then, but he doesn’t want to tell me–”

Ellie snapped her mouth shut at the sound of footsteps, and a few seconds later you emerged from behind the curtain. You had a tall glass of water in your hand and a small, hopeful smile that grew when your eyes fell on Joel’s face.

“I know you’d probably prefer something stronger, but water will do you good,” you said, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were just talking about you. Joel watched as you carefully sat down at the edge of his bed and put down the glass onto the table to his side. “One of the nurses will come here in a couple of minutes. You were unconscious for a couple of days so they want to make sure everything is okay.”

“I told you I’m fine, darlin’...”

“Please.” You gently took his hand in both of yours, staring at him with concern. “For me?”

Joel looked you over, his eyes lingering on your bruised neck and the bandage around your thigh which he didn’t notice before. Then he glanced at Ellie with worry, not knowing how to approach this problem or ask what exactly happened to you.

Your eyes were a little red and puffy, and he briefly thought about what the kid said: that you have had terrible nightmares, that apparently you went through some sort of hell to save him. It seemed that whatever you had done, it took its heavy toll on you. And he couldn’t bear it.

Joel hated the thought of you risking your life for him, of the experience branding you so deeply that you lost sleep because of it.

Because of him.

The only thing he could do right now was to be there for you. And maybe – just maybe, if he tried hard enough – to do something about those of your scars that he couldn’t see.

He lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to it, keeping his eyes on yours the entire time.

“Okay,” came his soft answer, to which you smiled with relief. “Whatever you wish, darlin’.”

No snarky remark, no groaning or muttering could be heard from Ellie, and that worried Joel much more than he’d ever admit. He exchanged a worried look with her while you were distracted, drawing patterns on the back of his hand with tender fingers.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he heard you say quietly, though it was unclear whether you were talking to him or yourself.

Either way, Joel squeezed your hand tighter, now feeling oddly afraid of letting go.

“Yes, darlin’,” he confirmed in a soothing manner. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

[creamsickle-writes]

Forbidden Fruit: Shanks x F!Reader (Part 2)

Tags: nsfw, modern!AU (therefore Shanks has both arms and no scar on his face because he’s not doing pirate stuff lol), Age gaps, phone sex, oral sex, penetrative sex, creampie, squirting, daddy kink, dirty talk, and sex toys

Co-written with @littleblueeyedmoon

Thank you @aces-sweetheart for making this post which inspired me to write this fic!

Click here to read part one!

Heaven existed.

After calling Akagami for a few weeks, you were sure of it. You still didn’t have a boyfriend, but you weren’t frustrated anymore; you still hadn’t gotten laid either, but your numerous talks with Akagami gave you the best orgasms you had ever had, so you had no complaints.

You were in a really good mood; you had just finished college, and you were moving back home with your dad until you found a job, which meant that not only could you call Akagami whenever you liked, but you’d also get to see Shanks often, your dad’s best friend. He was ridiculously handsome.

You thought to yourself as you continued packing the stuff in your dorm; you were excited for the day ahead. A knock on the door interrupted your train of thought. When you went to open your door, you gasped in surprise.

Shanks was leaning against your doorframe, an amused smile decorating his face, “Hey, kid.”

“S-Shanks?! What are you doing here? Where’s dad?”

He chuckled, “Lucky had an emergency and needed your old man’s help. He asked me to pick you up, little girl.”

He laughed at you in good fun as your face flushed slightly. He looked around at your packed-up boxes and grinned, “You in a rush to get home?”

“I guess I’m feeling a bit homesick.”

“Aww, don’t worry, kid. Just get the stuff in the car,” Shanks smiles warmly, “I’ll bring down the rest of your boxes.”

You nodded and went to his car as Shanks began stacking up boxes to bring downstairs.

As he finished up, he accidentally stumbled, causing one of the boxes to burst open. He quickly scrambled to put its contents back but froze when he saw a bunch of sex toys on the floor.

He laughed loudly. Who would’ve thought you were a perverted little thing? But no matter, your secret was safe with him. 

As he finished putting the toys back in the box, he suddenly realized most of these toys seemed familiar; His little princess had described toys to him over the phone that kind of looked like these ones.

Small world… Shanks thought to himself as he brought the last box to the car.

Even though the toys were yours, he couldn’t help thinking of his little princess and how his world changed once she started calling him.

Working as a phone sex operator was a fun thing to do. It got him off, and he also got to help other people. It was a fun, casual thing to make some extra cash. But then, once she called for the first time, everything changed. Shanks began looking forward to hearing her voice every time the phone rang.

She was a naughty little thing, a girl young enough to be his daughter who wanted him to take advantage of her; she even called him “Daddy.”

He’d had clients call him more than once before, but her calls became regular. He felt almost possessive of her; she was a slutty needy little girl who needed her Daddy to guide her. 

He almost growled at the thought of her getting off with another man.

He had spent the last few weeks fantasizing about his little princess and what she would look like in person. What color were her eyes? Was she curvy or slender? How would her body writhe for him when he showed her how to properly squirt? What would her face look like when he shoved his cock inside her tight pussy? 

The thought of her was driving him crazy.

Shanks was brought out of his train of thought when you looked up at him, patiently waiting for him to unlock the car’s front doors. He fished the keys out of his pocket, opening the door to you.

He suddenly remembered something when the two of you were buckled up in his car.

“Ah! Before I forget, I brought you something, kid, here!” He smiled widely as he handed you your favorite candy bar.

You smiled brightly at him in return as you quickly opened the candy.

“This is so good; you’re the best, Shanks!” You moaned in pleasure as the flavor of the candy hit your tongue.

Shanks’ brain stopped working for a moment.

He needed to get himself together; for a millisecond, an image of his little princess moaning for him flashed in his mind as you savored the candy.

Seeing your toys must’ve thrown him off.

Yes, that had to have been it, he reasoned. After all, if you were his sweet princess, he would’ve been tangled in such a complicated web. You were his best friend’s daughter. He and Beckman had been buddies since college, so if he were to go after his daughter…

Shanks swallowed, sweat building on his brow.

“Is everything okay?” You asked, leaning forward a bit, “You look stressed.”

You laughed, and Shanks laughed along with you, “No, it’s nothing, don’t worry.”

Shanks tried changing the subject quickly. 

“So, how was college? I haven’t seen you in a while.” 

“College? It was a piece of cake.” You shrug off sarcastically.

Shanks laughed, and the sound warmed your heart. For a moment, you even forgot about Akagami.

Shit, Akagami.

You felt bad, you had been fantasizing about him for months, but now Shanks would be back in your life. 

You and Akagami weren’t together, even though some part of you felt emotionally attached to him. But at the same time, your heart still yearned for Shanks, even though you knew it would never happen between you two.

You let out a sigh.

Shanks eyed you before asking, “What’s on your mind, kid?”

“Nothing; why?” You shrugged

Shanks smiled, “Well, because now you look down in the dumps.”

You hummed, “I guess I’m dealing with some pretty complicated feelings.”

“What, is there someone you like?” He smirked, looking back at the road again.

You shifted in your seat, “Well, yeah…”

Shanks let out a laugh, “And who could this mystery man be who stole the sweet princess’s heart, huh?”

You blushed, “Well, that’s the problem… there are two guys. And… I don’t know how to choose.”

Shanks hummed, “That’s a tough spot to be in, kid.”

After a few moments of silence, Shanks’ curiosity got the best of him.

“So, who are they?”

“Huh?”

“The guys you like, who are they? Maybe I can help you decide” He winked playfully. 

“W-Well, uh,” you hummed as you thought how to describe them to Shanks without letting it spill that one of the guys is closer than he thinks, “One guy I’ve known forever… and the other I met just a few months ago.”

Shanks nodded, and you kept talking, “This new guy gives me lots of attention, but the guy I’ve known forever barely seems to know I exist.”

“Then go for the new guy!” Shanks smiled, “If he treats you well, then that’s who you should stick with.”

A long silence hangs between you and Shanks in the car as you drive past buildings on the road’s edge. You cleared your throat.

“W-Well, uh, that’s kind of the thing: we haven’t met in person...” Shanks raised his eyebrow at you.

“You haven’t met? Then how does he give you all the attention you were just telling me about?”

“Uh,” you had to think fast, “W-We’re Internet friends!”

Shanks hums, “Be careful about guys online, kid. They could be anyone, you know? This guy could be an old guy trying to creep on girls like you.”

You blushed when he came closer to the truth than you would’ve liked, “W-Well, we’ve talked on the phone. He’s not a creep, believe me.”

“But he is old, huh?” He chuckled, “Ah, I’m just kidding. I know you’re a good kid who wouldn’t go for that sort of thing.” 

You looked away from him as you blushed harder.

“R-Right, of course not!” Your response had Shanks raising his eyebrow at you again, but he let the comment slide.

A long silence settled again as you couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t sound even more suspicious.

Shanks smiled, “Anyways, I’m going to be staying with you and your dad at your house tonight.”

Your head whipped to look at him so fast Shanks thought you might’ve pulled a muscle.

“What? I thought you and Dad were staying at your house!”

Shanks raised his eyebrow at you again. You were acting strange; you were usually eager and excited to see him, and you loved spending time with your dad.

“What’s gotten into you, kid? Do you need your dad and me out of your house or something?”

“What? N-No, I just thought, you know…” you trailed off, not really knowing what to respond with.

You wanted to get out of the car as fast as you could; this was getting embarrassing. 

As you neared your house, the silence made things even more awkward.

You sighed, “I was going to talk on the phone with my online friend.”

“And your dad and I can’t be home for you to do that? Are you sure he’s not a creepy old guy, kid?”

“He’s not creepy,” you pouted, crossing your arms, “Can’t a girl just want some time alone with a guy she likes?”

“Easy, tiger,” he chuckled, “Just stay in your room. Your dad and I won’t barge in.”

You pout, “You promise? I really want to talk with Akagami tonight, and I don’t want Dad or you to interrupt us.”

Shanks slammed on the brakes, causing you to jerk forward. 

“Shanks?”

“What did you just say?”

You blink, furrowing your brows, “I asked if you promise not to barge in ’cause I wanted to talk to my friend Akagami-“

Shanks’ heart begins pounding, and sweat falls down his brow.

Oh shit.

He was so fucked.

The toys, the moan, the voice, the friend’s name.

He’s been dirty-talking his college friend’s daughter for months. 

“Are you okay? You’re sweating.” You eyed his sudden change of behavior, a bit frazzled.  

Suddenly, Shanks is taken out of his head by the sound of drivers honking behind him, reminding him that he stopped dead in the road. He quickly regained his composure and started driving again.

Shanks cleared his throat, “Uh nothin’, it’s just that name… I once knew a guy named that a long time ago, that’s all.”

Your eyes widened a bit. Did Shanks know Akagami? Did your dad? You bit your lip as you imagined a world where Akagami was much closer to you than you thought. 

“You still keep in touch with him?” You prod, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Uh,” Shanks hesitates, “No, not anymore.”

You try not to look upset, “I see…”

The ride back to your house is filled with silence. It’s as if bringing up the name “Akagami” was a mistake in itself. Did this guy die young or something? Get in a tragic accident? Shanks’ face seemed to lose color at the name.

When you arrived home, your dad was waiting for you outside. You bolted out of the car, hoping to eliminate the awkwardness.

“Dad!” You jumped into his arms.

“Hey kid, how was the ride home?” He chuckled while hugging you tightly.

Before you could respond, Shanks beat you to it.

“It was good,” he grinned, ruffling your hair, “She was all packed up and ready to go, so we were in and out pretty quick.”

Beckman smiled widely, “Good. Shanks and I are going out for a bit, but he’ll be staying the night with us, and tomorrow the three of us will go out and have a celebratory breakfast.”

“Great, uh-I’ll be talking with a friend on the phone later, so please don’t barge into my room, please, and thank you!”

You ran to Shanks’ car, grabbed a few boxes, and bolted inside the house under the stare of Shanks and your dad.

Your dad raised his eyebrow at Shanks, “What was that about?” 

Shanks smiled awkwardly at him, “Kids these days, no?”

You unpacked for the rest of the afternoon while Shanks thought deeply about what to do. You were his little princess. He had spent months wondering how you looked, how you’d feel, and he fantasized about you constantly...

And now he found out you were his best friend’s daughter.

You were going to call him later; he needed to decide what to do. But the more he thought about it, the more enticed he was by you, the more he wanted to ravish you, care for you.

You were forbidden, after all, and that’s what made you even more appealing.

Hours passed, and your dad and Shanks came home, their laughter carrying throughout the house as you set up everything for your phone call with Akagami. You rolled your eyes, hoping they would settle down soon.

Your wish is granted in moments as you hear someone come up the steps and into the guest room. You assumed it was Shanks. You had to be quiet if he was staying across the hall…

Finally, your time slot came around for when you usually called, and you called up Akagami. 

You waited for the phone to ring, and soon enough, Akagami answered.

“Hey there, little princess.” already familiar with his greeting, you smiled.

“Hey, Daddy! I’ve been thinking about you.”

He chuckled, “Have you now? Have you been a good girl for Daddy, sweet thing?”

You pouted teasingly, “When am I not a good girl Daddy?”

He chuckled, amused, “Fair enough… But listen, little princess; Daddy has a surprise for you.”

You clenched your thighs together, “A surprise?”

Your mind was imagining multiple possibilities. What could he have up his sleeve?

“Mhm, think of it as a little graduation present from Daddy.” He hummed, well aware of your moving out day as you had told him ahead of time.

“Now, sweet girl, is the door of your room unlocked?” His deep voice rasps, and you furrow your brows in confusion.

“U-Unlocked? Uh, yes, Daddy, it’s unlocked; why?”

“It’s part of the surprise, little girl. Now, get your favorite toys out for Daddy, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy,” you got out your favorite clitoral vibrator and dildo.

“Good, little princess, now I want you to tease yourself, okay? Take your top off, grab your nipples for Daddy, and pinch them. Make them really hard for me.”

“O-Okay, Daddy” 

“Good, keep that up, little girl. Are they perky enough, or have you not listened to Daddy?”

“No, Daddy! They’re really hard. They feel so good.”

He hummed, “Good, very good, little girl. Now lose your pants and underwear. Tell Daddy how wet you are.”

You lay naked on your bed, perky nipples exposed as your fingertips grazed your wet pussy.

“Really wet, Daddy,” you panted, “I barely touched, and the cum’s all over my fingers…”

“Is that so? Then ease in your dildo for me, princess,” He growls lowly, “Tell Daddy, are you wet enough for it to just slide in?”

“Yes, Daddy, it eased right in. I think I’m so wet that I might get it on the bed...” You bit your lip and mewled, “I was so worked up while I was waiting to call you. My panties have been soaked all afternoon…”

He chuckled amusedly, “What a slutty and needy little girl Daddy has…”

“Now, princess, turn your vibrator on. Put it in the lowest setting while fucking yourself slowly with your dildo.”

You pressed the phone between your cheek and shoulder as you obeyed your Daddy’s command.

“Does it feel good, little girl? Let Daddy hear your moans as you describe how you’re fucking yourself.”

You mewled harder as you slowly moved the toy in and out of yourself with one hand while pressing the vibrator harder on your clit with your other.

He laughed softly, “I take it my little princess feels good?”

“Yes-” Your voice came out broken, “Yes, Daddy. I missed you so much-”

“Sweet girl…” He cooed, “We just talked last week... you missed Daddy that much?”

“Yes…” You mewled, and suddenly you froze up as you heard footsteps in the hallway.

“Sorry, I think someone is walking by… I’m back home now, so my dad and his friend might be around. I’ll have to be quiet…”

You could almost feel his smug grin through the phone.

“Is that so? Is my naughty little girl afraid of getting caught?”

You nod and say, “Yeah, It’d be awkward if my dad heard me… Plus, it’s his cute friend that’s over too…”

Shanks tsked, “You’re still on about that guy? I thought you were loyal to me, princess?”

You whine, “I-I am! I want to be yours, only yours, Akagami.”

He hummed, “I don’t know, little girl, I might have to make you forget all about this man…”

“Daddy, I promise!” You bit your lip, “After thinking about it, I realized that it’s you that cares for me and gives me the attention I love. You’re the one I want, really!”

You felt your heart stop as someone opened your door.

Shanks entered quietly and closed the door behind him, then he turned to face you, his eyes never leaving your body as he pulled his phone up to his ear.

“You really mean that, princess?” He murmured into the receiver, and your eyes grew wide as you realized that Shanks was the one on the other end of the phone, “You wanna belong to a perverted old man like me?”

Your heart pounded as blood rushed to your ears. You dropped your vibrator, and the phone slipped from your shoulder, falling onto the covers below you. Shanks gave a smug, toothy grin.

“Shanks? You’re...?” Your body lay frozen on the bed.

He hummed, “I am, and now that you’re in front of me, I want to show you everything I’ve wanted to do to you…”

You stammered, trying to find your words as he slinked closer to you, crawling onto the bed, “But first… it looks like I have a naughty little girl to punish, isn’t that right?”

That caught your attention as you looked at him, “Punish?”

He hummed, crawling in between your legs as he grabbed your forgotten vibrator.

“Naughty girl,” He teased, “I have to punish you because your loyalty wavered… You were thinking about someone else. The other man you mentioned in the car.”

“N-No, Daddy, it’s a misunderstand-” You were cut off by your own gasp as he turned the vibrator up a notch, bringing it towards your needy clit.

“Misunderstanding, you say? No, I don’t think so, little girl.” You gasped again as he started fucking you with the dildo with his other hand as he pressed the vibrator harder against your clit.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful, princess. Let Daddy see you cry.” You released a broken gasp as he fucked you harder and turned the vibrator up another notch.

“Aww, is this too much for my little princess? I have to prep you, sweetheart. If not, Daddy might not fit in your tight little pussy. And nobody likes to break their toys before they get to use them, right?”

You whimpered as your hands flew to your mouth to cover your moans. Your eyes rolled back as Shanks fucked you relentlessly with the toy. Your legs shook as he guided you to the edge, your body instinctively catapulting off of it. You couldn’t help it, you were already so close and Shanks' presence made it all the more overwhelming.

“Now, what is this? Did my little slut come without her Daddy’s permission?”

Your chest heaved, “S-Sorry, Daddy… I was just… so excited that the man I always wanted was you all along.”

Shanks’ ears perked up at that, “What do you mean, baby?”

He dropped the vibrator and rubbed his thumbs into your hip bones, the dildo still packed inside your tightness.

“The men I was stuck between… Was Shanks and Akagami.” You laughed breathlessly.

Shanks smiled a bit at your words, “Yeah? I guess you’ve fallen for me twice…”

You nod, and he crawls up your body, kissing you sweetly. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him even closer to you. A muffled moan escaped your lips as you felt his tongue dart over your lower lip. You willingly opened your mouth to him, allowing you to explore it. Your tongues slid over each other, your bodies seeming to melt together as they mingled.

“Shanks-” You moan happily between kisses, “Ah, feels like…”

You blushed when you reached between your legs, feeling his hardness grind into your palm. He looked at you, a dark interest in his eyes, “Can’t you tell I’m happy to see you?”

He winked, and you looked away sheepishly, “I-I can see that now…”

“Here,” He pulled away, “Let me get out of my clothes too.”

He makes quick work of his shirt and pants, leaving him in only his underwear. You reach forward timidly before looking up at him with innocent eyes, “Can I, um…” 

“Go ahead, princess, it’s all yours.”

You slowly tugged down his waistband and gasped when he came springing out. His giant, thick cock was throbbing and red. It looked desperate. You held it tenderly, the girthy dick pulsing in your hands.

“Woah…” You gasped, looking him over. He’s even better than you imagined.

As if lust possessed you, you sat up and situated yourself between his legs, eager to please him.

You looked up at him with innocent eyes while tentatively giving little kitten licks to his dick. As he hissed and fisted your hair with one hand, you hollowed your cheeks and took him in your mouth. Then, without thinking, you swallowed him down as far as you could, your nose brushing against his light pubic hair. He moaned out for you, tilting his head back.

“Fuck, that feels so good, sweetheart...”

You smiled to yourself, bobbing up and down his length as fast as you could, gagging all the way as little tears started to pool in your eyes. Still, you persisted, wanting to make your Daddy feel good. 

You pulled off for a moment, watching his cock twitch in the open air. The way it throbbed and twitched made your pussy wetter than ever before. Drool escaped the corners of your lips and you wiped it off with the back of your hand before diving between his legs, lapping at his full balls.

“Fuck-” He growled, grabbing at your hair even tighter, “Not leaving a single inch untouched, are you, princess?”

You pulled off his balls for a moment, your face red as your hands continued stroking his shaft.

“Nuh uh,” You shake your head, “I want Daddy to know how much I love his cock…”

He let out a hearty laugh before you went back to work, licking him from base to tip before swallowing him up again. With each movement upwards, you swirled your tongue around his aching tip. Shanks groaned happily.

“That’s it,” He encouraged, “You’re good at this, sweetheart. How many boys have you practiced on, huh?”

You pulled off him, stroking his leaking tip, “I-I’ve only had sex with one person before you, Daddy… But I wish I saved myself for you. I just- I figured you never would’ve done this with me, no matter how much I fantasized…” You shook your head, “I tried to move on.”

“Oh, honey…” He smiles softly, tucking your hair behind your ear, “Let’s make up for lost time then, alright?”

He picked you up and laid you on the bed, kissing your inner thigh softly. “Let Daddy take care of you, alright, princess?”

You gasped when you felt him lick a long stripe of your pussy. “D-Daddy!”

“Just relax, baby.” Shanks mumbled into your cunt, “Let Daddy show you what a lifetime of experience feels like…”

He groaned as he pressed delicate kisses to your clit, making your pussy clench around nothing. You tossed your head to the side as Shanks kissed your sensitive nub, his tongue eventually teasing it as well. Your legs relaxed as his warm, rough hands stroked your thighs, soothing you.

“What a pretty little pussy…” He kisses your cunt again, “So sweet… So swollen…”

“Ngh,” You tilted your head back, “Daddy…”

He continued pressing kisses to your clit. The action was surprisingly sweet and tender, his lips feather light on your sensitive, swollen nub. Eventually though, his tongue peeked out from his lips, the kisses feeling wet. His facial hair tickled your pussy lips, the feeling completely foreign to you.

Shanks then guided his hand to your slit, rubbing your hole with his fingers. Slowly, he pressed one inside, his middle finger instinctively hooking upwards. You arched your back, loving how he rubbed that special spot inside you.

“Ah, Daddy-!” You whimpered, and he looked up at you, long hair falling in his face.

“Quiet, don’t want your dad to come knocking, right?” He chuckles, “Man, this is reminding me of high school… Fucking girls while their parents were home… It’s so fucking hot, isn’t it?”

You nodded, placing a hand over your mouth as Shanks teased that bundle within you.

With deft fingers, he continued teasing your g-spot as his tongue busied itself with your clit. Sweet soft kisses turned to absolutely messy licking, his tongue swiping over your clit with drool dripping from his mouth. His movements were quick as the flat of his tongue worked you over and over. Your legs trembled, your second orgasm approaching much faster than your first now that you were so sensitive.

“D-Daddy, stop-”

“What’s the matter, princess?” He stopped, worried about you.

“I-I feel like-” you stuttered, “Like I have to pee-”

Shanks’ eyes light up, “Yeah? That’s good, baby. Let it go; that means you gotta squirt. You’re gonna do it for Daddy, right? You know how much he loves that.”

“I’ll try, but-” You whined, “I-I’ve never done that before-”

“It’s alright,” he shushed you, “I know just what to do, alright? It’ll feel so good once you do it, princess- just trust me.”

You nodded quickly, “I-I trust you, Daddy.”

Shanks smiles and inserts a second finger into your hole, two fingers rubbing your g-spot smoothly. You whimper as his other hand touches your clit, rubbing the bud. His fingers begin to pick up speed, causing you to clench your teeth.

“S-Shanks-” You moan, “I-I feel it- I-It’s coming-”

“That’s it, baby, let it happen-”

Your eyes shut tight, and you felt all the pressure inside release. You heard it, too, the sound of your juices wetting the bed sheets underneath you. You tried opening your eyes, but everything was spinning. You attempted to catch your breath as Shanks praised you.

“That’s it…” he cooed, “You did so well. You’re definitely ready for Daddy’s dick now, pretty girl…”

Shanks kissed your clit one last time before readjusting himself so he was leaning over you. He took his desperate, swollen cock in hand and rubbed it against your sopping-wet hole, your hip in his other hand.You whimpered as his fat head slid over your desperate, yet overstimulated clit. Even though you had already cum twice, your body couldn’t get enough of him.

“This is it, princess. You sure this is what you want?”

You nodded eagerly, “Yes, more than anything.”

Shanks sighed, “Here goes…”

He eased himself inside inch by inch, only stopping once he bottomed out within you. You gasped and reached for his back, gripping his shoulders tight. Meanwhile, both of his hands held your waist.

Shanks cooed at you, “Alright, pretty girl, Daddy will go slowly, okay? Let him know when he can move. He knows it’s been a while for you, so he wants to be gentle… at least at first.”

Shanks hissed, feeling how tightly your snug walls pressed around him.

As he was sheathed entirely within you, he pressed his forehead against yours, staring deep into your eyes.

“You’re the best little girl. Daddy is so proud of you. You are such a good girl, fuck-”

Shanks’ little ramble about you was cut short when your walls tightened a bit more.

You kissed him deeply and once you pulled away, you pressed your forehead against his, “Y-You can move, Daddy.”

Shanks nodded and started pulling out slowly, his thick length stretching you out. He only pulled out halfway before thrusting back inside, causing you to whine. You gripped his back even more, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Mm, Daddy-” You moan, “More-”

Shanks chuckled a bit before pulling out halfway again, this time forcing himself into you even rougher.

You let out a louder whine at the feeling.

As you were going to beg for more, Shanks shoved three fingers inside your mouth. Your eyes widened as you were taken by surprise.

“Now, little girl, didn’t Daddy tell you to be quiet? Do you want your dad to find us like this? Do you want him to see his daughter under me crying and begging for my cock?”

You shook your head as he started pounding a bit rougher into you.

“Then be a good girl for Daddy and suck on his fingers as he fucks your little pussy raw, yeah?”

His words made your needy cunt clench around him like a vice. You shut your eyes tight, eagerly sucking his fingers as he stretched you out.

Shanks’ hips are desperate, his balls smacking against your lips as he rammed himself inside you. You felt as though you were ascending to Heaven with how he was fucking you. Your toes curled and your back arched, your body desperately needing more of him. 

You opened your eyes timidly to see his dark red hair hanging in front of his face, his brow furrowed as he put all his energy into pounding you. Your nails dug into his shoulders, no doubt leaving red marks on his tanned flesh.

You let out a disappointed groan when Shanks’ hips stop moving.

“Let Daddy show you a position that’ll let him give your cervix kisses…” Shanks mumbled before folding your body into a tight mating press.

When he slammed back inside, you let out a loud moan around his fingers. You had never felt so full before in your life. Nothing compared to this feeling.

When you heard Shanks laugh, you opened your eyes to look at him. He slipped his fingers from your mouth, drool connecting his fingers to your lips.

“Now look at that, little girl, you can see Daddy’s cock in your stomach. How cute…” You looked down to see the faint outline of his dick poking out of your stomach.

You bit your lip to stop yourself from crying as he pressed down your stomach, feeling his cock through you.

The pleasure was getting too much, having already cum twice. You started tearing up a bit at the overstimulation.

Shanks cooed at you, “Is this too much for my little princess? But Daddy hasn’t come yet, sweetheart. We can’t have that now, can we?”

You shook your head, more tears falling down your cheeks as you pressed your hand to your mouth to avoid making too much noise now that Shanks’ hands were occupied.

“You look so cute with little tears in your eyes, princess. Are you gonna let Daddy fuck you raw until he’s satisfied? Will you let Daddy creampie your little pussy?”

Shanks’ thrusts were getting rougher each second. Your eyes roll back as he rams his cock into your further walls, the curve of his cock brushing your g-spot along the way.

You took your hand off your mouth so you could whisper, “Yes, Daddy, please creampie my pussy, fuck me until you’re satisfied. I-I’ll take it like a good girl.”

Shanks growled lowly at you as your pussy clenched harder.

Life felt like eternity as Shanks pleasured you. Your bodies fit together perfectly, your hushed sounds like a muted symphony. Everything was perfect.

Until there was a knock at the door.

“Sweetheart?”

Shit, it was your father.

“Y-Yes, Dad?”

“Have you seen Shanks?”

“Uhm-” You looked up at Shanks who had a wild grin on his face. You reached for his stomach, trying to push him away, but he only pounded faster, making your head fuzzy. Your legs quivered as you tried to come up with an excuse.

“H-He’s- uh- in the bathroom!” You squeaked out, hoping that would satisfy your father.

“I just checked,” Your dad responds, “The door’s wide open.”

Shit.

“Uh, maybe he’s outside then?” You let out a frustrated groan, “I-I don’t know dad! I thought I told you I’d be on a call with a f-friend! I’m sure he’s somewhere around here!”

There’s a silence that follows, the sound of hips smacking against each other filling the room’s air. You hoped and prayed your father couldn’t hear it through the door.

“Right.” He says, “Sorry I interrupted your call.”

And with that, the sound of footsteps grew faint.

“Now it really feels like high school,” Shanks smiled, “Fuck, I was so close-”

You blushed furiously, “Y-You owe me for that!”

Shanks laughed, leaning forward to whisper in your ear, “C’mon, you had to admit, the thrill of it was amazing. We could’ve gotten caught just now…”

You whimper as Shanks bites your earlobe, his quick, powerful thrusts making you melt.

“S-Shanks, you’re crazy-” You gasp out, trying to look at him with a stern expression, but your lustful expression beats it easily.

“Just crazy about you.” He winks.

He moans softly as he buries his head in your neck, his chest positioned between your pushed back legs. His forceful thrusts somehow get even more strong, the power behind them knocking the air out your lungs.

“Mn, S-Shanks-” You whimper, your voice shaking.

“That’s it, little girl, so good, you’re so good for Daddy,” He cooed, “Daddy will keep you forever, fuck you dumb until your little pussy can only cum with Daddy’s dick. Is that what you want? For Daddy to keep you as his little girl forever?”

“Yes, Daddy, please,” You cried as low as you could.

Shanks’ thrusts were getting a bit sloppy as he fucked you, the thrill of everything finally getting to him.

“Can you cum again for Daddy?”

As he said those words, you felt yourself squirt again for him, the force of your orgasm pulling Shanks over the edge as you felt his cum fill you up. He groaned lowly, biting his lip to muffle his sounds.

The both of you collapsed, panting together, not letting go of each other.

You looked up to stare into his eyes, “Did you mean it, Daddy? Will you keep me forever?”

His eyes softened as he slowly pulled out, cum leaking out of you, as he went to hug you tightly.

“Did you mean it, princess? You really wanna belong to a perverted old man like me?”

You cuddled into him, “I’ve always wanted you, Daddy.”

He chuckled, “Then all we gotta do is think of a way to break the news to your old man that doesn’t end up with him killing me.”

Post Credits Scene

In the morning, you yawn and stretch as you come down the stairs, Shanks following not far behind. Your dad is already awake, as usual, his cup of coffee in his hands as he sits at the table. He gives a slight nod to you and Shanks, and you both take a seat.

“How did your call go?” Benn asks, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“It went well!” You chirped up, unable to hide your excitement from last night’s events.

“Yeah, I heard.” Shanks grins, “Up all night talking to that guy, huh?”

You fight the urge to kick him under the table.

“I’m curious, though,” your father looked at you both, “What kind of call was it that involved all that noise?”

Your face paled, and you looked at Shanks, who wore an uneasy smile, trying his best to formulate some kind of excuse.

“W-What do you mean, Dad?”

“Oh, just…” Your father pauses, sipping his coffee, “There was a lot of thumping last night, is all. I don’t recall hearing those sounds since I was roommates with Shanks in college.”

Shanks’ face has a soft tint to it.

“Ah, well, you know…” Shanks vaguely gestures, his voice trailing off.

“Oh yes, I sure do. I just never expected for you to do it with my daughter as well.”

Your face lost all color as Shanks’ face blushed a bit harder. Your eyes darted to the older man, but it looked like even he couldn’t charm his way out of this one.

“D-Dad, listen, I-” Your dad cut you off before you could finish.

He suddenly snaps, his calm demeanor gone, “What the hell is wrong with you, Shanks?!”

“H-Hey, it’s not like that…” Shanks’ voice shakes a bit with uncertainty.

“Bullshit, How long have you been fucking my daughter?”

Benn’s stern expression causes chills to run up your spine. He’s usually a serious man, but that look is one you haven’t seen in a long time if you’ve ever seen it this intense.

“It’s really not like that, Dad, I swear!”

“You don’t have to protect him, sweetheart.” His tone softened just for you as he glared daggers at Shanks.

“I’m not! I started it; I-I just didn’t know it was him!”

Then understanding seemed to dawn on your dad. Still, though, he had that same disapproving look on his face. You were having trouble reading him now.

“You called a phone sex hotline?” Then he looked at Shanks, “My daughter is the ‘little princess’ you haven’t shut the fuck about for the last few months?”

“You told my dad about this?!”

Shanks looked pale now as both your dad and you glared at him, “I-I didn’t know it was you at the time!”

Shanks begins to scramble for his words, now confronted with two angry people instead of just one. His cool is suddenly out the window as his best friend stares at him, his gaze showing that he’s debating how to kill Shanks and hide the body.

“Look, I know this is bad, sleeping with your daughter was never my plan, it’s just, y-you know I’ve always liked younger girls, a-and then she called me, and I started to look forward to her calls and-” His rambling was cut short as he looked at both your dad and you.

Shanks took a deep breath before talking again, “I really like your daughter, Benn, like for a permanent thing. I promise I won’t hurt her!”

“I really like him too, Dad; please don’t hate us!”

His face is hard as stone, your father’s gaze is disapproving, and you let out a deep sigh, your shoulders slumped. You knew this wouldn’t have gone well.

“You break my daughter’s heart,” He starts, “And I break your fucking neck.”

Shanks gives a nervous but excited smile.

You let out a happy laugh as you hug your dad, “Thank you, you’re the best! I love you!”

“Yeah, you’re grounded for the rest of the month, kid.”

You sigh but give a smile nonetheless. There were certainly worse outcomes.

[marvelouslizzie]

unconventional methods - chapter 3

Summary: Bucky and Bunny finally find some time to talk and clear things up. Will communicating solve their problems?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator SHIELD Agent Reader)

Word Count: 7.6K

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, sex deprivation, touch-starved couple, pet names, oral sex (f and m receiving), fingering, p in v sex with no protection (both parties are clean and she’s on birth control), slight dirty talk if you squint, having a hard time to vocalize wants or needs, mentions of past trauma, mentions of forced sex work, overthinking, emotional support, no mention of y/n.

A/N: Once again, thank you so much for showing interest in this story. This is the last chapter but if you wonder something about this couple, if you want some headcanons or you have ideas about them, you can always send me a request. Not just about this story, don’t hesitate to message me or send me a question. Unless it’s a hate message. They are never welcome.

If you didn’t read the first or the second chapter, you definitely should before reading this one.

unconventional methods - chapter 1

unconventional methods - chapter 2

marvelous lizzie’s masterlist

Once again a big thank you to @notafunkiller and @es1dit for everything. They helped me so much. I can’t thank them enough for supporting me during this journey.

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission. Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

<<< Previous Chapter

As she promised, Agent Elvisa was waiting for Bucky at the SHIELD headquarters when he returned. Despite being tired and wounded, he was much calmer than before. Taking some time to reflect made him realize how harsh he was. He just felt betrayed and humiliated before, but after seeing what she had been working on, seeing those people suffering in the hands of HYDRA and having the privilege to help them made him understand this wasn’t about him. This whole thing was a critical mission, and they were just caught up in the mess. 

The problem was that he didn’t know how to proceed anymore, but luckily Agent Elvisa approached him at the first opportunity.

“Hey,” Her voice felt so soothing to his ears. He always thought she had a silky tone, and enjoyed it in the videos she shared, but hearing it in real life was a completely different experience. Especially when they weren’t fighting.

“Hey.”

“You are bleeding.” Her eyes were fixed on his left eyebrow. It was a simple cut, one that would heal by itself, but she looked concerned nonetheless.

“It’s fine.” His response came instantly. “I will be healed soon.”

“No.” She shook her head, rejecting his oversimplification. “It needs to be cleaned.”

“Believe me, I have had worse wounds that healed by themselves.”

His response made her grimace. “You thought that would convince me, but it made it even worse.” She gently grabbed his arm and steered him to another room. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“I’m just gonna clean the cut, okay? I don’t wanna hear any complaints.”

It was impossible for Bucky not to smile a little. It’s been a while since someone was worried about him. The fact that someone cared about him enough to make a big deal out of a simple cut made him feel... cared for. That’s why he followed her without saying a word. Agent Elvisa made him sit down while looking for a first aid kit.

“We should talk,” she said while opening and closing some drawers.

“Is that why you insisted on cleaning the wound?” 

“Yes and no. I think it should be cleaned, but I also wanted to talk. I’ve been thinking a lot since you left.” 

“Me too, but I don’t think we should do it here.” Bucky didn’t want someone to eavesdrop. This was an extremely private thing to talk and SHIELD headquarters weren’t the place.

“Okay.” She finally looked back at him. “There’s no first aid kit here.”

Bucky looked around, making a point without saying anything. It didn’t look like this particular room would have any first aid kits.

“Fine.” She accepted the defeat. “You are right, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna give up. Wait here until I find a first aid kit.” She raised her index finger. “Do not move.”

“Yes ma’am.” 

She smiled at him before leaving the room. 

***

Bunny struggled to find the medical kit she needed, but when she finally did, she quickly made her way back. She stopped in her tracks as soon as she heard Natasha's voice when she got closer to the door.

“So that’s it?” She heard Natasha asking.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Natasha.”

“Just don’t hold this against her. She had no idea.”

“I’m aware of it. That’s not the problem.” Bucky sounded a bit defensive.

“Then what is the problem?”

“I just…” He stopped for a second. “I just don’t know what is real and what’s not anymore. That’s the problem.”

Hearing that last sentence just shattered her heart. She didn’t even know who he was until that video call yet he was questioning everything, every conversation they had. It made her feel like crap. Like he was no different from the men who treated her like shit just because of what she was doing. It was foolish of her to believe that he was different.

Harshly, she pushed the door all the way and stormed inside. Bucky and Natasha looked in her direction, completely blindsided by her presence. 

“Oh, hey. I was just talking to–” Natasha tried to talk, but she didn’t even glance in her direction.

“You don’t need this.” Slamming the first aid kit on the table, she looked directly at Bucky. “You don’t need me and believe me when I say, I don’t need you. I just wanted to talk and make things clear, but now I understand that’s not what you want at all. I don’t need to explain myself to you. I don’t need convince what part of me is real. If you're questioning this... this thing between us or what we shared, you can go to hell.”

Her rage caught them off guard. And before he could say anything, she stormed out of the room. Bucky and Natasha stared at each other, feeling completely lost.

“Go after her, you loon!” Finally, Natasha snapped him out of his shock and he quickly took her advice. When he finally caught up with her, she was about to hop on her motorcycle.

“Bunny!” Hearing him call her Bunny again made her stop. 

“What?” 

“What the fuck was all of that?” He looked confused and angrier than before. “You are gonna tell me to go to hell and just leave?”

“I heard your conversation, Bucky. What’s there to talk about if you think some things we shared weren’t even real.”

“I didn’t say they were not real.”

“You said you don’t know what was real and what was not.” She repeated what she remembered from their conversation.

“I’m just confused, okay? I didn’t do this for a long time. Why do you think I started to follow you to begin with? I’m socially awkward and anxious. I’m clueless and after learning about your mission, I’m confused. I just don’t know what to think anymore.”

“I waited for you to return. I tried talking to you back there and you didn’t want to. And then I come to hear that you are questioning what was real. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“I didn’t say I don’t wanna talk, did I? I just didn’t want anybody else to hear what happened between us.”

His explanation made her stop for a second. “Then why didn’t you just say that?”

“I just told you. I’m awkward and anxious, okay? But I do wanna talk. I wanna understand. I’ve just come from the mission you’d been working so hard for. I saw how important it was. I understand this whole thing wasn’t about me, but you have to stop and think about how things look from my perspective when you say this was just a mission for you. I deserve some explanation. I think I deserve that much.” 

He was talking much calmer than before, trying to explain what he thinks. It made her notice how different things could be from his side. He simply had no clue. Just bits and pieces.

“Fine, let’s talk then.” She sighed deeply. “Your place or mine?”

“Yours. Mine is a mess.”

***

It didn’t take them long to arrive at her place. Bucky couldn’t help but look around carefully the moment he stepped inside. It was a small apartment with a single bedroom. The door was open, so he could actually see inside her private space and nothing seemed familiar. Which made him realize she did not do her photoshoots here. None of the content she shared was taken here. Nothing besides the photos she sent him privately. From day one, he was allowed to see her, in a vulnerable state, in her own home. If that wasn’t a sign of trust, what was?

“Do you wanna drink something?” Her question brought him back to reality. 

“I don’t think so.”

“Maybe a glass of water?” She suggested, thinking he must be exhausted from the mission.

He answered after considering the offer. “That would be good actually.” 

She quickly made her way to the kitchen, drinking a glass of water herself and then bringing him another. Bunny was sitting across from him when he finished drinking.

“So… What do you wanna know?” She asked as Bucky places the empty glass on the coffee table, getting right into the conversation.

“I just wanna know…” God, there were too many questions on his mind, but nothing was more important than this one. “Why did you start talking to me?”

“I answer almost every DM. It was a part of my mission: finding potential HYDRA hunters.” Her answer disappointed Bucky, but he just nodded quietly. “Yet I don’t keep talking to every one of them. I told you before.”

“You told me you end the conversation when it gets too far.” 

“Yes, I don’t entertain people in my DM’s. I just try to act like a normal adult content creator so they won’t suspect anything.”

“Is that what you were doing when you answered me?” Bucky wanted to know more details. He wanted to learn what changed and when.

“I was just answering a cute DM and you kept talking to me, differently compared to others. You were concerned while they were just wondering about the lack of content. I was sick, and feeling lonely. It was a huge mistake sending you a photo, but I’m lucky it didn’t jeopardize the mission. If it was someone else, it could’ve been a big problem. Not only HYDRA hunters, but there are also stalkers you know…” She noticed he was getting concerned about her safety. Then she quickly added, “Most of them are just shooting their shots, trying to see if they can score with me or if they can get some private content.”

“Right.” He sounded so uncomfortable, thinking about how hard it must be. 

“I’m good at detecting when they try to steer the conversation that way, so I do something before it’s too late. And you…” She took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts. “You never tried to do that. You kept talking to me like I’m a normal human being. You asked regular questions. I wondered how long it would take you to say something inappropriate, and you never did.”

“And that’s why you kept talking to me.”

“Yes. I liked talking to you. And then I found you extremely hot.” Bucky gave her a puzzled look. “When we exchanged photos.”

“Oh, right.” Extremely hot? he wondered, but didn't say it out loud.

“Talking to you was the best part of the whole operation, other than finally catching those bastards. You made my days bearable. I was looking forward to talking to you, getting to know you while trying not to get too invested because god knows how many married men use those platforms.”

“Best part of the operation?” Bucky repeated her words, his tone indicating he was having a bit of a hard time believing that was possible.

“I was lonely, Bucky. Isolated. Mistreated. After a long time, someone was talking to me like a normal human being. He was also a good-looking guy as far as I could see. I just let myself enjoy it, it shouldn’t be a crime.”

“I enjoyed it, too, you know.” He was trying to take everything in. “That’s why it hurt so much when I saw you in that meeting. I was shocked.”

“I didn’t expect to see you in that meeting. If I’d known, I would’ve talked to you during the video call. I was sure that we’d have time to speak face to face and explain that this was a mission, but you were the real part of this for me.” She was getting emotional, but she tried to hold her tears back. It was really hard to explain herself like this because she was always blamed for most of the stuff. Especially what happened to her in the past when she was captured by HYDRA. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. Just believe me, it was unintentional.”

“I wish you just explained everything to me when you saw who I was.”

“I was scared,” she admitted. “I was talking to my work crush the whole time, without knowing. I was afraid to mess it up. I thought you would get mad when you learn that the whole thing was an undercover operation and I’d lose my chance to explain everything.” She took another deep breath, trying to calm herself down. The fear of rejection was growing in her belly. A part of her was certain all the clarifications in the world wouldn’t be enough to make him stay. 

“Bunny...” She tried hard to hide her tears, but it was in vain. It was no surprise that Bucky noticed them right away. A second later, he moved right next to her, closing the distance between them. “Are you crying?”

“No.” Even though it was obvious, she tried to deny it at first. “I’m fine.”

Bucky gently touched her face, afraid to startle her, then carefully wiped a tear away with his thumb. 

“Please, don’t cry.” His hand remained on her face, and she leaned into his touch immediately. “Especially not because of me.”

“It’s just...” Bunny sniffed. “I know I ruined everything. No excuse will be good enough to fix things.”

“What are you talking about?” He was still gently caressing her cheek.

“I know that… you won’t forgive me, Bucky.”

Her words were clear enough, but it was the way she said those words that broke Bucky. Her pained voice and watery eyes… The realization finally hit him. She was really afraid of losing him. She actually thought they wouldn't be able to put this behind them. She assumed he would just decide to move on with his life after clearing things up. That was the exact same thing he was worried about all this time. He thought Bunny didn’t need him, that she could just continue her life without him.

He had no idea how long it had been since he felt someone actually cared about him this much and wanted him to stay after everything that happened. The feeling of being wanted by her was strange but so very welcome.

“You didn’t.” He slowly closed the distance between them, and his lips lightly brushed against hers. For a second, she had a bit of a hard time registering what’s just happened, but when she finally did, she started to kiss him back. He moved his lips as if he was afraid to break her, but in reality, he was afraid of his own reaction. It had been so long since someone touched him or kissed him. Her lips moving against his own made him whimper. He had no idea what to do with his hands, while Bunny angled her head a little and deepened the kiss. Her lips started to move more hungrily, letting out low moans as she kept on tasting him.

Bucky closed his eyes and let himself go. He was so lost in this, he didn’t realize Bunny was moving until he felt her weight on top of him. He opened his eyes just to see her wrapping her arms around his neck as she was tightening her legs around his torso. His head fell back, his mouth gaping as he let out a deep moan. Feeling her whole body pressed against him was simply too much. 

“Touch me, Bucky.”

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, but it was the hardest thing he’s ever done so far. Looking into her eyes, he tried to get used to their proximity and her softness. His hand slowly moved back on her face, fingers gently grazing her skin as he tried to convince himself this wasn’t a dream. Bunny closed the distance between them and started to kiss him more hungrily than before. Lips moving fast, tongues and teeth cluttering... Bucky’s hands moved down to her neck, then to her collarbones, and kept on moving until he settled them on her waist. His mouth moved to her neck, slowly nibbling to see her reaction. Bunny’s loud moan was enough to make him start tp suck on her skin.

“God, please…” She sounded so desperate. “Please touch me.”

Bucky tightened his grip on her waist, reminding her that he was actually touching her, but that wasn’t enough. Impatiently, she grabbed both of his hands and pushed them against her breasts. All he could do was just blinking a couple of times before squeezing them a little bit harsher than he intended. He was so afraid of how rusty he would be at this, but Bunny let out a satisfied moan, proving him wrong. That was all he needed. His warm hands left her breasts, just to slip them under her top, making her gasp. Her skin was soft and welcoming as he moved them up to her breasts again. 

“Can I?” He lingered on her bra, wanting it off. She nodded eagerly.

It took him several tries to finally unclasp it, but Bunny didn’t offer her help, just waiting for him to get rid of it. As soon as it was unhooked, she removed her top and bra simultaneously, revealing her bare breasts. He looked mesmerized by her like he didn’t see her naked before, and it made her smile.

“Remember when you were talking about my nipples?”

“Yeah?” Bucky’s eyes didn’t leave her breasts, not for a second.

“You can do all of that now.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. He cupped both of her breasts, perking them up. One hand was colder than the other, but she didn’t care one bit. If nothing, that was proof the man in front of her was Bucky Barnes in flesh and blood and not a wet dream. He leaned in and started to leave soft kisses at first, then his lips wrapped around one of her nipples, and his tongue swirled around. He took his sweet time as if he was tasting the most delicious dessert on earth. He used his free hand to massage her other breast as he kept licking her nipple. Unable to control her reaction, her back arched. 

“Oh fuck!” Everything he was doing with his tongue was sending waves of pleasure through her body. She could feel the wetness starting to pool between her legs. She was more ready for the next step. His rock-hard erection poking at her core made it even harder to stay in control. She started to move her hips, trying to get a little friction, and that finally made him break away from her nipple. The loud wet sound caused her to bite her lower lip, his hands quickly wrapping around her body before he unexpectedly stood up.

“What are you doing?” She sounded so surprised, and Bucky chuckled in response. Her legs tightened around his torso while he started to walk towards her bedroom.

“Taking you to bed.” As soon as he was done speaking, he dived back into her neck, kissing her lightly while walking.

In a few seconds, Bucky layed her gently on the edge of the bed, and she quickly raised herself up on her elbows to watch him grabbing her pants and underwear without losing any time and tugging them down. He looked at her with utter hunger while trying to convince himself this was really happening. Slowly he kneeled, gently placing his hands on her tights, and looked up at her.

“Can I taste you?” How he asked this question felt like he was asking for a glass of water after a long day.

“We can do that later, come here.” She wanted to feel his skin against hers, already missing his warmth.

“I promise I will do whatever you want, just please, let me taste you first.” The desperation in his voice was making it hard to say no, so she nodded. For a second, he looked like a kid on Christmas morning, giving her the biggest smile.

Bucky’s hands slowly moved on her legs, trying to feel every inch of her. The motion was also helping him to ground himself. Slowly he leaned in, but instead of doing what she was hoping for, his lips landed on her thighs, leaving a wet trail of kisses. As time passed, the wetness started to drip from her center, making it even more evident. Not only could he see it, but he could also smell how intoxicating it was.

Finally, when he was satisfied with his work, his tongue lightly brushed directly against her clit. They both moaned at the same time for different reasons. While she was electrified by the feeling of his tongue, he was getting lost in her taste. It was so good, he couldn’t help but lick a couple more times in a row like he was starving.

“Fuck, yes!” She whined as the pleasure started to spread. “Oh god, yes!” 

Bucky was busy licking her from bottom to top, and every time his tongue brushed against her clit, Bunny was making the most delicious sounds. Unexpectedly, he pushed both of his hands under her ass and pulled her close to his mouth.

“Bucky!” Her yelp amused him, but he didn’t stop. By focusing on her clit, he was able to deepen his licks and elevate the pleasure by flattening his tongue against her clit fast. This new sensation made her legs buckle, and she grabbed his hair way more harshly than she anticipated.

“F-fuck, Bucky. Keep going, p-please.” He had no intention to do otherwise. As his tongue continued to work, Bunny kept on begging. “I-I’m close. Please, don’t s-stop!” 

When she finally reached the climax, her entire body was burning with pleasure. She was mindlessly moaning and gripping his hair as he continued to work through her orgasm. After a while, her hands let go of his hair, and that’s when he started to slow down.

“Are you okay?” His chin was resting on her lower tummy.

She took a deep breath before answering. “I’m more than okay.”

Before moving his head back between her legs, Bucky chuckled. Her eyes instinctively lowered when she felt the shift just to see him pushing his middle finger inside her without any warning. She jerked back while gasping for air.

“Bucky!”

“What?” He asked with a smirk. Before she could even open her mouth to respond, he started to move his fingers, and whatever she was going to say did not matter anymore. Soon, his finger was already soaked with her arousal, so he didn’t wait long to add the second finger.

“Shit, Bucky, this feels so good.” She moved her hips up to increase the friction as she spoke.

“Stay put, doll.” His metal hand settled on her tummy, pushing her down as gently as possible. “Just let me…” He thrusted his fingers harder than before, pressing against the upper walls.

“Oh my fucking god…” She cried out while he felt how she started to squeeze his fingers. She was getting closer, but he wanted this orgasm to be much better than the previous one. After licking his lips at the thought of tasting her again, he leaned in to give her another lick. Suddenly, Bunny’s hand was back in his hair, gripping harder than before.

“Yes, yes, yes. Bucky, yes!” He wanted to smile so badly, but he had something more important to do. As he continued to lick her, he added a third finger, hoping this would push her over the edge. The way she moaned was the most sinful thing he ever heard, and he was already dying to hear it again. He kept moving his fingers quicker and felt her grip tightening in his hair.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, Bucky… Please, don’t stop!”

He wanted to say he won’t, not until she comes again, but he couldn’t. He knew better not to change anything when she was begging for more. Bunny's second orgasm ripped her apart as he kept moving his fingers in and out relentlessly. She kept repeating his name like prayer until the pleasure turned into overstimulation.

“Oh my god,” She spoke after taking another deep breath. She felt like she was floating as her recent orgasm still made her lightly jerk a little. When Bucky finally removed his fingers, she trembled one more time.

“How are you feeling?” She felt Bucky moving onto the bed..

“Great.” She had a huge smile on her face, which made his heart swell with pride.

Bunny jumped on top of him as soon as he lay next to her. Although he was surprised by the sudden change, he moved his hands to her hips and began to caress her.

“I think it’s time to get you undressed, Sergeant Barnes.”

For the first time, she saw how her words affected him up close as his gaze changed into something darker. She kept on looking in his blue eyes while she leaned down and gave him a kiss on the lips before bringing her mouth right under his ear.

“Will you take your clothes off for me, Sarge?” The way she was talking sent shivers down his spine.

“As you wish.”

Bucky rolled her over so suddenly, she couldn’t even understand what was happening until her back touched the mattress. He quickly stood up and started to undress under her glare. Her eyes focused on his upper body until it was time to take his boxers off. His erection sprung out, and she could already feel her mouth watering at the sight.

“Is this better?” He raised both of her hands with a smile on his face.

“Much better. Now come here.” She gently patted the empty space right next to her, and he silently obeyed. As soon as he sat down, Bunny was all over him. She gently pushed him down. Her hands slowly moved down to his body, enjoying how his skin felt against hers. Firm and warm. She drew circles with her hands, caressing the same places over and over again until Bucky couldn’t help but moan at the sensation. 

“You like that, baby?” The way she was speaking, that fucking tone… God, he was melting inside. 

“Yes.” He breathed out. “So much.”

“Want me to touch you more?”

He nodded so eagerly, Bunny couldn’t just look at his beautiful face. She leaned down to give him a kiss. His hands quickly wrapped around her body, pulling her closer. It was messy and wet until Bunny moved her lips to his cheeks. He huffed with disappointment, but she didn’t stop. She covered his face with kisses. He felt her soft lips on his cheeks, eyelids, and jaw until she decided to move to his neck.

“I need more,” Bucky whimpered as she kept kissing.

“Tell me what you need.” Her hands were moving on his chest, fueling his hunger.

“More. More of everything.” He took a deep breath, trying to calm down, but it had been such a long time since he was touched like this. He was craving for more, it didn’t matter what. “Just… touch me.”

Her fingers grazed over his nipples, making their way down as she opened up a bit more. 

“What if I…” She gently wrapped her hands around his cock. “did this?”

“Ohgodyes.” 

Bunny slowly moved her hand with a smile on her face. “What about this?”

He choked on his words, just letting out an unintelligible sound.

“You like that, don’t you?” He managed to nod as she kept moving her hand up and down. Before he could even realize it, she moved all the way back. When she removed her hand from his hard cock, he wanted to protest, but the moment he looked down, the sight of Bunny between his legs welcomed him.

She didn’t say a word, just looked into his eyes before lowering herself and taking the tip of his cock into her mouth.

“Oh, fuck!” His head fell back onto the mattress. 

Her tongue swirled around the tip, grazing over the sensitive spot. Her wet mouth and her hot tongue were driving him crazy already. He could feel the pleasure bottling up. 

“Bunny…” He hardly managed to say it out loud. She didn’t stop, just looked up to see his pretty face. “Baby, you gotta stop, please.” The words came out as if he was in agony. She had no choice but to release his cock.

“Am I hurting you?” Her wrinkled brows were enough for him to understand how truly concerned she was. 

“No, no, no. God, no.” He quickly tried to explain. “I just… don’t wanna come inside your mouth. Not this time. It has been a long time. Very long. I just wanna feel you come around my cock as I come. Is that okay?”

The relief on her face turned into a smile. “It’s more than okay.”

“I don’t have a condom with me though.” 

“I’m clean and on pills.” He knew what that meant and the question she wasn’t vocalizing.

“I’m clean, too, according to the regular SHIELD check-ups.”

“Great.” She bit her bottom lips as she moved closer to him. “So what now?”

Once again, Bucky wrapped his hands around her and rolled her over. 

“This is turning into a habit, Sarge.”

“You have any complaints?” His playful tone put another smile on her face.

“Nope, not yet.”

“Not yet? Hmm…” He didn’t say anything else, just grabbed his cock and looked back at her to see if she changed her mind, but instead, she was staring at him with wide eyes and parted lips.

Bucky rubbed the head of his cock between her folds and her slick arousal started to cover it. After a couple more rubs, he finally pushed himself inside. It took only one swift thrust and he was all in.

“Fuck, baby.” He gasped at the sensation as his head fell down on her shoulder. It was so overwhelming to feel surrounded by her wetness and warmth. So intense. “You feel so good, my god.”

When he pulled back to look at her, Bunny’s hand went to his face. She pushed a strand of hair that fell on his forehead.

“Are you okay?” The question came after standing still for a while.

“I’m good, don’t worry about me.” Bunny’s dismissive answer didn’t sit right with him.

“You are my main concern, all the time, okay? Tell me how does this feel?” His voice was so soft and caring, she didn’t even realize she was tearing up. “Please, tell me I’m not hurting you.”

“You are not.” She quickly wiped away the tears with the back of her hand. “Nobody ever asked me that. That’s all.”

Bucky cupped her cheek with his flesh hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault.” Her bittersweet smile made him want to kill every single man who recklessly hurt her.

“Just tell me to stop if you don’t want something, okay, doll? That’s all I am asking from you.”

“I will try.” She gulped down. “It’s gonna be hard, but I will try.”

“Maybe we should stop.” He didn’t wanna push her to do something she wasn’t comfortable.

“No, no. It’s my problem. Sometimes… I have a hard time vocalizing what I want or don’t want.”

“Do you want this?” Bunny eagerly nodded. “I need you to use your words.”

“I want this, Bucky. Please move.”

He slowly and carefully started to move. “How is this pace?”

“It’s good. Very good.” Her words made it clear that she was enjoying it, but the way she said them… moved something inside him. It was full of need.

He couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and starting to kiss her as he kept moving. Quickly, it became really messy. Lips crashing, tongues dancing, hands moving all over… In the blinking of an eye, she was on top of him, desperately moving her hips against him. It didn’t take her long to shutter. Watching her orgasm so up close was something else. The blissful expression on her face, her open mouth, and the way she was moaning mindlessly stunned him. 

“God, you are so beautiful.” His thumb moved from her cheek to her bottom lip. He closed the distance and gave her a hungry kiss. His tongue brushed against hers, making her moan again. “I don’t think I can hold back more.”

“I don’t remember asking you to hold back.”

Bucky tilted his head while pursing his lips. “True, but you didn’t have to.”

Bunny started to rock her hips again as she talked. “Please, stop holding back. Stop being so careful. I’m not made of glass.”

“I know that.” The way she was moving made it hard for him to speak. “God, tell me, what position do you want next?”

She didn’t say anything. Instead, she moved away from him and lay down on her back on the edge of the bed. Bucky silently followed her, and in a second, he was back inside her as she pulled her knees back to her chest.

“Does this feel good?” 

“Yes.” She seemed pretty content. “Just put some pressure on my legs.” As soon as he did that and started to move, they both felt the difference. It felt like she was much tighter than before and he was touching all the right places.

“Oh, fuck.” Bucky growled. It was much harder to hold back.

“Faster, Bucky, please.” She pleaded, already feeling drunk on pleasure. As he fulfilled her request, her moans became erratic. “Yes, yes, yes!”

“God, I’m so deep inside you.” 

“It feels so good. Please… Please, baby, faster.” Her words encouraged him to finally take what he wanted. He started to pound into her. Long yet fast thrusts started to consume her. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Bucky, Bucky…” She gripped the sheets, trying to keep her eyes open.

“God, look at you.” He couldn’t take his eyes off her. “My pretty girl, look at yourself. Taking me so deep.”

“Oh, fuck, fuck Bucky!” She took a deep breath. “You are gonna make me come again!”

His response was a loud groan, finally feeling free to come himself. 

“Yes, let yourself go, yes.” He keeps talking between thrusts.

Bunny’s eyes roll back with pleasure, her legs trembling while she lets out a cry. He keeps fucking her through her orgasm, thrusting harder than before and allowing himself to follow her. Bucky let out the most broken cry she’s ever heard coming from his mouth as he started to come, but he didn’t stop. He kept on thrusting, ignoring the feeling of overstimulation until she was done coming.

He pulled himself out with a hiss, and neither of them said a word as they lay together. They feared they'd spoil such a blissful moment, knowing there was other stuff they needed to discuss. Bunny began to feel cold as their breathing returned to normal, so with a quick movement, she got under the duvet, keeping it open while looking directly at Bucky. She was silently offering to cover him as well, and he didn’t wait to comply. When he finally settled in, they were facing each other.

“Can we stay like this? Just for a while?”

“Of course, we can.” Bucky wanted nothing more than to just stay in the bed with he, in their own bubble. And they did for a couple of minutes, but little by little, reality slowly filtered back into their minds as the fog of their orgasms got lifted.

“Just so you know, just because we had sex, it doesn’t mean everything is perfect now. We have a lot to talk about that we haven't figured out, but I still want you to stay.”

“Believe me, I know, but we can figure it out together.” A smile spread across her face. That was all she wanted to hear. 

“Sounds like a good plan.” Bucky moved his hand over her exposed arm. It was a thoughtless movement, but his touch helped her relax. After a couple more strokes, Bucky felt some kind of patterned bump on her skin, and as he explored it, he instantly recognized it.

“Is that…” His question remained unfinished because he already knew the answer.

“A property tattoo.”

“Property of HYDRA?” The words came out like he couldn’t believe it.

Bunny squirmed uncomfortably. It was never an easy topic for her, but there was no way out of this conversation. Maybe it would be better to talk about it now. Like pulling a band-aid off.

“Do you remember when I said maybe I can tell you how I can be so sure about you one day?” Bucky nodded, remembering what she said when she first saw his face. “I guess that day is today.”

“I think I already know what you are about to say.” It was clear. Bunny was the property of HYDRA for god knows how long and somehow she managed to get out of it. “Look, we don’t have to talk about it now if it makes you uncomfortable. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I know that, but I want to explain anyway.” Bucky narrowed his eyes. “And it’s never easy to talk about this. So…” Her voice was trembling as she was talking.

“I’m ready to listen, whenever you want.”

Bunny took a deep breath, trying to brace herself. “I was captured by HYDRA when I was young.” The sentence came out as a whole like she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to finish it if she didn’t hurry up. “I was forced to be a part of their human trafficking network… satisfy clients to bring more money or please the higher-ups so I can stay alive. It went on like this for years until one day… I was in the right place at the right time.” She rubbed her face, trying to focus on her words instead of the lump in her throat so she could continue. “That day, SHIELD was attempting to capture some higher-ups and… I happened to be there just because someone requested my presence. Can you believe that? That was all. I was lucky enough to get saved by Nick Fury.”

“And you wanted to help the ones who weren’t lucky enough.” Bucky finally started to put the puzzle pieces together. He couldn’t believe she also suffered at the hands of HYDRA, already feeling guilty that he couldn’t be the one to help her.

“Yes. Director Fury helped me. He even gave me my name, Elvisa. Do you know what it means?” Bucky shook his head. “It means safe.”

“Because you were finally safe.” Bucky felt the weight of the word as he was speaking. This time, Bunny shook her head in agreement. That name meant a lot to her. 

“I am so sorry, doll. So sorry I didn’t notice why this case was so important to you. Why you said you can’t always express what you want during sex.” He felt like shit because finally, her harsh reaction at the SHIELD headquarters was making sense. He wondered how many people in her life thought she was just faking stuff.

“How could you even know, Bucky? You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong.” Her eyes were watery, but she did not cry. All this time, whenever she talked about this, tears would fall down, and she had no intention to let that happen again. She wanted to stay strong. She wanted to prove to herself that she was healing.

“I wish I could-” Bunny already knew what he was about to say and she didn’t let him finish.

“No, there was nothing you could do to save me earlier. Even if our paths crossed, you were a captive yourself, remember?” Focusing on Bucky was helping her to surpass all the emotions she was feeling. 

“Sometimes I think I just could’ve done more… Maybe I could’ve save myself and others… Others like you.” He sounded so broken, and Bunny couldn’t take it. She grabbed his face and forced him to look into her eyes.

“Stop torturing yourself with maybes and what-ifs.” Her voice came out harsher than she intended, so she tried to soften it as she went on. “What’s done is done. We can’t change the past, but we can shape our future.” Bucky nodded, still looking emotional. He knew that, but he couldn’t help but think about how different thing would have been if he could have just broken free. If he’d been strong enough… Bunny noticed he was getting lost in his thoughts and tried to get his attention. “Just focus on the present and the future, okay? 

“It’s not that easy.” Bucky finally found his words to answer her. 

“Believe me, I know, but we have to try. Just stop for a second and think about what you want your future to be like. Try to imagine how different things can be.” Bucky didn’t know how to keep his focus on the future. He’d been living day by day for so long, not daring to think about what the future might bring because a part of him was afraid that the moment he started to think about it, the moment he let himself hope for a future, everything would go down in flames. 

“I- I don’t know.” He sounded completely lost. 

“Just one thing. Tell me one thing you want in your future. That’s enough for now.” She tried to simplify it as much as possible. “That should be enough to keep your focus on the future.”

After thinking for a second, Bucky finally came up with a response. 

“I want to have you in my future.” He wasn’t sure if he was crossing a line or not, but he didn’t feel like keeping that thought to himself. “Is that okay?”

A warm smile spread across her face. “I think we might be able to arrange that.” 

***

In the middle of a boring day at work, Bucky found himself at a co-worker's birthday party after doing a lot of boring paperwork. He would rather be at home, cuddling his favorite girl, but they compromised on stopping by the party first and then cuddling at home. Normally, nobody could persuade him to socialize like this, especially since he had much better options, but Bunny was another story.

Not only that, but this time Bucky actually knew whose birthday it was, and instead of hiding in the corner, he was chilling on the big couch, with his arms around Bunny’s upper body. She was restin her head on his shoulder while talking to another agent. Although he didn't know her name, he saw her talking to Bunny numerous times. His assumption was that they were in friendly terms with each other.

Since their conversation was about a minor work misunderstanding, he didn't pay too much attention. Besides, his focus was slowly drifting toward Bunny's warmth more and more, just thinking about all the things he could be doing if they were at home. They both agreed on keeping a civil level of PDA at events like this, meaning there would be no doubt that they were a couple, but nothing inappropriate.

Bucky wasn't sure when their relationship had become public knowledge in SHIELD, but they were able to express affection for each other gradually. It wasn’t like they were ever trying to completely hide their closeness. They just tried to keep it as lowkey as possible. But it was a hard task since Bucky grabbed her arm after that meeting. People were nosy and wanted to know what happened between them, but somehow Bunny managed to dodge their questions. Bucky’s experience was much different than hers. Except for Natasha and Sam, he couldn't recall any particular moment when he was asked about his relationship with Bunny. Not that he would ever call her Bunny around co-workers. That was a private nickname. She was Agent Elvisa and he was Sergeant Barnes whenever they were at work.

I guess they put two and two together, he thought, not knowing that most of the people were actually afraid to ask him a personal question like this. 

“Can I ask you something?” Bucky's attention was caught by her wary tone.

“Of course.” Bunny raised her head, but didn't move away from his touch. His arms were still around her body.

“I don’t think you’ve ever told the story about how you two actually met.” God, she must be really curious since she is asking this nervous as fuck, Bucky thought.

They both knew it was only a matter of time before people started to ask about their relationship and how it all started openly. Everybody knew they had two different divisions. It wasn’t likely for them to work together for an extended period of time or see each other regularly. That was why they came up with an acceptable version of their story. Not a lie, but not the complete truth, either. Just something that gets people off their backs.

“Oh, that was Natasha’s doing.” 

“Really? I didn’t think Natasha Romanoff would be a cupid.” She was genuinely surprised.

“Oh, you have no idea how nosy Romanoff can be.” Bucky couldn’t help but comment for the first time. As he spoke, the girl's eyes moved towards him in surprise.

“She is only nosy when it comes to her friends, and I guess she just had a feeling about us.” Bunny quickly explained in a cute tone.

Her words made Bucky look into her eyes. They didn’t know if it was just a feeling or if she was just simply bored, but they were grateful nonetheless.

taglist (I tried to tag everyone who showed interest in chapter two. If you would rather not be included please let me know.)

@geminiflanagansblog @sadg1rlsei @lia-winther @nanikio @barnesboo1967 @chinaza444 @kaitlin013106 @ryanmxrie @steverogers-wife @weaselbeedisneygeek @tilltheendofthelinepal9950 @happyxdayxbitch @marvelogic @wintasssoldier @buckybarnessimpp @marvelsbitchh @alright-i-guesss @almosttoopizza @rabbitrabbit12321 @cookielovesbook-akie @whalien52bbgrl @cjand10 @scifinerd1818  @dellalyra @capswife @netherqueen23 @beware-my-thorns @freegardenbanananeck @iamstevessmile @raven1234321 @divadinag @noisesinthedark @amanda-says @ozwriterchick @sleyeveryday @arsonfrogger @lfaewrites @alana4610 @splendidreads @acatwriteshere @weirdothatwritess @spider-boyy @shelbygeek @doublevirgogirl @tarotwitchy-main @r02eg0ld @raelorns21 @amberpanda99

[emepe]

— Pairing: Eren x Reader, friends to lovers

— General info: series, 18+, modern AU, serial killer AU, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

— Summary: Fate is a tricky thing. Certain situations can’t be avoided as much as certain people’s lives can’t be kept from intertwining. With a serial killer on the loose, and unexpected relationships blooming, how will the universe intervene?

— Chapter summary: The killer has the police fooled. Meanwhile, you and Eren enjoy more of each other’s company.

— Content warnings: slightly nsfw, dry humping, make out, mention of stalking, murder, mention of torture, mention of rape.

— Notes: Welcome to chapter 7 <3 If anyone else would like to be added to the tag list, lmk. Happy reading!

Links: Read on AO3 | Chapter guide | Masterlist

lost signs

“Detective.”

A meek voice pulls Levi's attention from the paperwork scattered across his desk, as a fresh manila folder is promptly set down before him.

“The notes on the autopsy.” 

Every other task is instantly abandoned as the raven-haired man grabs the folder and goes through the pages of the autopsy report, along with the notes provided by his subordinate. 

Less than an hour later, Levi's knocking on the door of his captain's office, staying true to his habit of walking in before being invited.

“What do you have there?” 

Erwin Smith barely spares a proper look at Levi as he continues scrolling through a file on his computer. 

“Carly Stratmann's autopsy notes.”

Erwin simply nods, not showing much interest in the topic but not yet doing anything to shoo the stoic detective from his office. 

“You're the lead detective on this case. Don't tell me you need me to hold your hand for this.” 

Levi clicks his tongue at the remark, but straightens his posture to keep up his stern appearance. 

“I think we need to raise a few alarms.”

Erwin shoots a menacing look in his direction, but purses his lips before he can spout another sharp remark.

Levi Ackerman hasn't been working the homicide department for long — just barely a couple of years after transferring from property crime, and just as many major cases under his belt. 

His sudden need to raise alarms doesn't come as a surprise to Erwin. The man's got good instincts, albeit he's a bit too quick to act on them for Erwin's liking at times. And that's when he intervenes to rein him in.

On a day when he's so burnt out from work, the task is even more annoying to take on than usual.

“Is it the same M.O. as the Langnar case?”

“Not exactly, but—”

“I'll stop you right there, then,” Erwin firmly says, holding a hand up to make his point, hoping he can cut today's coolly disguised frenzy short. 

Though calm and collected — practically icy — on the outside, detective Ackerman has been letting his personal convictions sway his thinking since the Langnar murder. 

Erwin doesn't care to know much about his subordinates — it's just a job — but he knows Ackerman has a beloved niece of similar age to the recent murder victims living in the city, and it doesn't take much to deduce that's where his hidden worries stem from. 

“There aren't many coincidences, it's true,” Levi states, resisting the urge to harshly spit the words at his superior. After all, a man who wants to be heard, has no need to raise his voice. “But even if these are isolated cases, it wouldn't hurt to… I don't know, set up a curfew… send out more units to patrol at night. Erwin, two women were murdered without a trace of DNA from the culprit.”

He sighs, then mutters the next few words under his breath.

“That's not a fucking coincidence.”

Erwin leans forward into his desk.

“Alright, Ackerman, I'll humor you for a minute.”

His hands clasp together, his chin resting on top as he formulates a question.

“Aside from the lack of DNA and the fact that they're women, is there anything in the autopsy reports that's enough to suspect we've got a serial killer in our hands?” 

Levi tenses his jaw, tongue rolling against his cheek before sourly replying.

“No.”

Erwin's eyebrows rise as a sign of finality. But Levi stands his ground, taking his gesture as defiance.

“I get your point. Stratmann could have nothing to do with Langnar. Maybe it was someone they knew or maybe it's not. If that's the case, are two criminals better than one? Is that what we're hoping for?”

Erwin's stern gaze falters for a split second, but he recovers just as quickly.

“How do we discard a serial killer in the making? What if this person hasn't fixed themselves on their M.O.? We can get them early in their career if we make a move right n–”

“We can't make moves based on gut feelings.”

Erwin's statement makes Levi shrink back for the first time since walking into the office.

“Langnar was tortured. Her injuries were consistent with weeks of trauma. Choked, handcuffed, cut, beaten, sliced at the mouth post-mortem, and dismembered. A very tedious and meticulous process, wouldn't you say? She had to have spent weeks in captivity and that points to either a person who was close enough to lure her into their trap or a stalker who observed her before kidnapping her.” He gestures for Levi to hand him the file in his hands, snatching the folder and ripping it open once he's close enough. “Stratmann was sliced at the neck, choked beforehand, raped post-mortem. It's sloppy and clear to have been done on a whim.” 

“She was left in a dumpster, too,” Levi reminds him. “Just like Langnar.”

Erwin presses his lips into a thin line, his thick eyebrows weighed down with severity.

“That's not enough to go off of. We can't cry ‘serial killer’ over one measly coincidence.” 

Levi can feel himself wavering at Erwin's arguments. 

“Can we at least impose a curfew?” he asks.

Erwin heavily sighs, enough for the movement to be caught on his now slumping shoulders.

“As I said, bring me solid proof of a connection and we'll talk.”

“Okay. Spill,” Mikasa orders as soon as she scurries out of the bathroom and plops down criss-crossed on the sofa.

It's Saturday night and you and Sasha are staying over at Mikasa's place for a girl's night.

The living room floor is littered with blankets, cushions and pillows, and the television is playing a random horror movie that has gone ignored since Sasha wondered out loud how Eren was doing a few minutes ago. She seemingly asked nobody in particular, but it was clear you were meant to respond with both girl's eyes set on you the moment the green-eyed man's name came up.

You figured the sleepover was a cover for an ambush. The girls formed a separate group chat for just the three of you, coincidentally the day after your first date with Eren and have been asking to get together for the past week. 

You tug nervously at the sleeve of your pajama top, shying away from the expectant gaze that seeps through Mikasa's face mask.

You shrug.

“What do you wanna know?”

“Who made the first move?” Sasha asks, scooting closer to you as if that means she'll get more details.

You ponder for a moment. It's hard to tell. Eren was first to ask you out two months ago, but you were the first to kiss him last Saturday. In a way, you both had a chance to steer the wheel.

When you explain this to the girls, they swoon, falling into a fit of excited giggles.

“I never pegged you for the bold type,” Mikasa grins, lightly smacking your shoulder. “I bet Eren loved that.”

Sasha nods in agreement, giddy.

“I can't believe you didn't tell us right away,” Mikasa pouts. 

“I don't think you would've remembered, Mika,” you say. “You had three Long Islands that night.”

“Still, it would've been nice to know,” she sighs dramatically. 

“Okay, so you got together the night of the Halloween party,” Sasha reviews. “But what about the day we went to Sunrise? I totally thought you guys had a thing going on back then. I mean, Eren never left your side, even before you got hurt.”

The apple-picking trip seems like so long ago, but the memory remains fresh in your mind. You smile at the mental image of Eren's serious expression as he claimed to never have been so curious to know anyone before you.

“Oh my gosh,” Mikasa squeals, aggressively smacking Sasha’s back as she's reminded of something. “She was feeding him peanuts on the way there. They were so shy, it was adorable.”

Instinctively, your hands come up to cover your face in embarrassment. It didn't even register until now that the people in the backseat witnessed the awkward exchange. 

Now that you've tasted the lips that brushed against your fingertips that day, the reminder seems even more embarrassing. 

You smack your cheeks lightly in an attempt to ground yourself. The girls watch you amusedly, exchanging knowing glances in between.

“Have you guys… you know.” Mikasa raises her eyebrows suggestively.

Warmth floods your cheeks again.

“Not yet,” you murmur. “We're taking things slow.”

She looks surprised, but nods in support.

“Of course,” she says. “Slow is good.” 

“Says the girl who pounced on Jean after one of his gigs because she was jealous.” 

“Hey!” Mikasa whines, growing shy at the accusation. “I had to get a message across. He was being petty.”

Sasha throws her head back in laughter.

“No, he was just stupid. He had no idea you liked him back until that night.”

Your gaze flickers between the two girls as you piece their conversation together. 

A blushing Mikasa picks up a cushion and chucks it at Sasha’s face who easily avoids the blow and laughs at the raven-haired girl's pout.

“Whatever,” Mikasa groans. She turns to look at you, features instantly shifting into a more cheerful expression.

“So how do you feel?”

“What do you mean?” you ask.

“About Eren.”

“It's only been a week,” you explain.

“So?” she shrugs. “You guys have been spending a lot of time together, haven't you? Armin told me Eren's been driving you to work everyday. That means you've had a lot of one-on-one time.”

Shyly, you lower your head, focusing your gaze on the black and white pattern of the comforter laid beneath you. Your fingers mindlessly trace over the texture of the fabric.

“I guess so.”

Both girls smile.

“So what's the verdict?” Sasha asks.

“I… I really like him,” you sigh, lips tugged into a smile. “Like… really really like him.”

Another round of excited squeals and giggles echoes through the room. 

Their thrill only encourages you further, pushing you into a tangent of how thoughtful Eren is and how he always manages to hold you with so much care, bringing you peace each time he's close. 

“He makes me feel safe. Is that weird to say?” 

Mikasa shakes her head as she peels off the mask from her face, wrinkling the sheet into a ball and chucking it across the room to the trash can in one corner. She misses by an inch.

“Not at all. I don't mean to sound old-fashioned but you have to be with someone who makes you feel cared for.”

Sasha hums in agreement as she shoves a handful of popcorn into her mouth. She holds a finger up, asking you to wait for her to gulp down the snack.

“And someone who makes you laugh, also very important.” 

You nod along with Mikasa.

“Oh, and… well, when you get to it… someone you're sexually compatible with,” she adds. “People like to pretend it's not a big deal but it really is. Sex is okay but great sex with someone who knows how to touch you is where you find out if you're in sync. There needs to be communication and understanding and care. It's so fucking important.”

Mikasa looks down at her friend as she pats her head affectionately.

“You're so wise for someone who doesn't have a boyfriend.”

Sasha quirks an eyebrow.

“Hey, just because I'm not blurting it out to everybody doesn't mean I don't have anything going on.”

Mikasa hums contemplatively. 

“Do tell.”

The conversation takes a turn to Sasha’s latest sexcapades, and you take turns with Mikasa to look surprised at the stories she shares.

By the end of the night, when you're all teetering the edge of sleep with a third movie serving as background noise, your mind drifts back to the emerald-eyed boy who makes you laugh so easily, draws every emotion from you, and cares for you like it's what he was put on this earth for. 

Water pools at your feet out of thin air. You’re stuck in a dark void with no end, yet the water your eyes frantically search the source of keeps rising at a startling speed, soaking little by little into your clothes until it weighs you down.

Running seems futile. The void has no end and the water keeps steadily climbing up your body, so who knows how long you’ll have until you’re fully submerged — with no exit in view. Even if you could run, the weight of your drenched clothes would only pull you back. But you can’t even move anyway, you realize. You’re stuck in place, feet unable — or unwilling — to even take a couple of waddling steps. 

The water is up to your hips now. With trembling hands, you reach down and scoop at the liquid. It’s thick and with a smell so rancid it stretches through the infinite length of the emptiness you stand in. The water’s filthy. 

Your hands drop at your sides in an unsettling daze. The next second, your breath grows shallow and you start pulling at your feet as the water reaches your neck. Tears prick at your eyes as you cry at your feet, begging for them to move, to lift from the ground so you could at least make some weak attempt at reaching the surface for air. 

Suddenly, a light. Pure white shines brightly from far ahead, where a golden silhouette stands at the threshold between darkness and light — the void’s borders. The other person bangs their fists at the invisible wall keeping you apart, yelling something you can’t make out. Are they yelling at you? No, they don’t even seem to notice your presence. So who are they yelling at? Up at the sky… They’re yelling something up at the sky. But what are they saying? Who does the golden silhouette even belong to?

Your left foot unsticks from the ground unprompted. A sharp breath is all you take before you make your first step toward the light, hand midair to call for the figure’s attention. Just then, an unknown body pulls you into them from behind, crashing your body down into the murky water, where your lungs fill with filth and your eyes flutter shut.

You wake with a small gasp coming through your lips. Still stiffened by the strange dream, your eyes are all that wander the unfamiliar room. The television is set to a screensaver, likely triggered by an extended lack of attention to whatever on-demand production was playing before you fell asleep. There’s a clutter of takeout containers on the coffee table and used glasses with remnants of soda that can safely be assumed to be flat by now. 

Slowly, you stir on the velvet green sofa you’re lying on, when you take note of the firm hold around your waist, followed by the soft exhales released onto the crown of your head. You look down at the familiar watch wrapped around the wrist of the hand that holds you in place.

Oh, you think. That’s right. I’m at Eren’s place.

He’s been having trouble catching up on work, meaning he’s had to stay up late for the past couple of nights. He’s a stickler about getting a good night’s rest, so the temporary change in work shifts has thrown him off quite a bit. You told him to stay home and rest — that you could go to the movies another time; next Sunday was fine with you — but he insisted on seeing you, even if it meant a more casual hangout in his living room with Chinese food and a comedy-drama film from the 2000s playing on the TV. 

At some point in the evening, the late hours caught up to him all at once and he even managed to get you to stay with him, wrapped in his arms as his sleepiness found its way to your body as well. 

Craning your neck, you peer at Eren’s sleepy face from the corner of your eye. You smile. He’s got an innocent look about him even in his sleep. His lips are parted just enough to take and release soft breaths. You sink back into the couch, wiggling around to find the comfortable position you were previously in. 

Eren feels you moving and his arm instantly pulls you closer to his body. His warmth transfers through every layer of clothing, enveloping you in a warm embrace. In his sleep, he mumbles a string of words you can’t quite comprehend under his breath, but the vibrations against your back coax you back into a peaceful slumber. 

The next time you wake up, it's already getting dark out. The coffee table has been cleared of its mess, and the body lying behind you is no more. Forced by the absence of his arms around you, you trudge out of the living room to look for him as you rub the sleep from your eyes. 

He's in the kitchen, back to you, filling a glass with cold water from the fridge. 

Leaning against the threshold, you watch him adoringly, marveling at his toned figure from behind. He chugs his first glass of water down, refilling it as soon as he finishes. As he brings the glass to his lips once more, he turns around, eyebrows rising slightly when he takes in your presence.

“Boo,” you smile, standing straight and making your way over to him.

He abandons the glass of water as soon as you meet him, opting to use his hands to push you closer to him by the small of your back as yours rest on his shoulders.

“Did I wake you?” he asks.

You shake your head.

“Just felt lonely, all of a sudden.”

An amused air blows through his nose. 

Your hands find a way to his hair, fingers carding through the strands as he keeps his gaze fixed on your face.

His hair has gotten longer, and the strands around his face now cover his forehead, tickling the skin. It’s not messy, by any means, but it gives him an edgier look. The duality of Eren Jaeger’s appearance is a wonder to you. He’s got a way of tipping the scales between cute and sexy with every little thing he does. 

You smile at the few rebellious locks that poke out, still fixed in the angle provided by his nap.   

“What?” he asks, mirroring your smile.

“Your hair’s getting long,” you murmur.

“I’ll get a haircut soon, don’t worry,” he replies, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on the corner of your mouth, amused by the way you follow after him once he starts retreating from the contact. He kisses you once more to keep you from pouting.

“I didn’t say anything,” you chuckle. “If you want to grow out your hair, that’s fine. You don’t have to keep it short. I was just pointing it out.”

He shakes his head, humming in denial. 

“Nah. This part’s starting to bug me. I just haven’t had time to get it cut,” he explains, brushing back the hair covering his forehead. He proceeds to squeeze your waist on either side. “But what do you prefer?”

“I don’t know,” you mutter with a shrug.

“Gun to your head, which looks better?” he smiles.

His extremist question earns him an eye roll but you answer him nonetheless after a beat.

“I like your short hair,” you finalize earnestly. 

He grins, cupping your face with one hand as he places a kiss on your cheek — then on your jaw, and one in the crook of your neck.

“Yeah?” he murmurs against the sensitive skin.

You nod, a small smile dancing across your lips at his tender affections.

“You look very handsome with a clean undercut. The day I met you I actually thought you were really good-looking.”

He pulls away from his task on your neck to stare at you in disbelief. 

“And yet you refused to go out with me. I can’t believe you.”

He shakes his head, clicking his tongue in mock disappointment.

You laugh. The sound swells him with pride — it lights up the room.

“Looks aren't everything, dummy. You're so shallow.”

It's your turn to feign disappointment while he stands there, amused.

“Right, right,” he nods. “I forgot you fell for me because I'm a strong and dependable man.” 

He flexes his muscles, making a whole show out of his pointed remark.

You roll your eyes, but the warmth creeping up your face is hard to deny. 

“Isn't that right?” he teases.

You don't humor him with an answer — there's no real need for it.

With his hands settled comfortably on your hips, he guides you backward, until your back is pressed against the counter, before he hoists you up and sets you onto it with ease. You welcome him between your thighs with a smile, breath hitching when he caresses your knee over your jeans and buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“My baby,” he coos, pressing an open-mouthed kiss onto your skin. 

You giggle at the teasing meaning behind the affectionate name, heart fluttering at the feeling of him smiling against your skin.

The both of you keep your positions for a while — him breathing in your perfume while you stroke his soft hair tenderly.

Being with Eren feels so easy. It's a wonder how comfortable you feel with barely a week tallied for your relationship. Each morning and evening when he drives you to and from work have definitely helped. 

After your sobbing confession outside of your apartment, you apologized for making Eren feel as though he was troubling you by being so attentive. 

All the accumulated trauma in your heart had ironically made you the perpetrator of making him believe there was no real place for him in your life even after you accepted his liking for you. He didn't ask any followup questions that night, but he understood and vowed to be patient.

You're still trying to be okay with that — his unmoving loyalty. But it's easier to accept when you remind yourself he wouldn't stick around if he didn't want to.

Looking down at the boy in your arms, you smile. He can be so childish at times — teasing you, insisting you hold him, easily shaken by a few late nights. And yet there was something so comforting in his behavior. He's always so happy to see you, making sure to clock in quality time hours — not that he didn't enjoy the daily drives, but it wasn't exactly a date. Not to mention his unwavering need to make sure you're safe. At least his rare stubbornness has good reason.

Reluctantly abandoning the comfort of your neck, he lifts his face to meet your eyes. His gaze bores into yours, engulfing you in warm pools of emerald. 

A lazy grin takes over his features. 

“I like that,” he murmurs.

Your eyebrows twitch in confusion.

“This,” he explains, bringing a hand to your head and mimicking the strokes you've weaved into his hair. “It feels nice.”

An airy chuckle escapes your lips and you make a point to stroke his hair more.

His face hovers over yours. His hands rest on either side of you as he leans into your affections. His eyes flutter closed as he sighs at your touch. 

You look up at him mesmerized by his angelic features. It's true you've always thought he's handsome, but this closeness makes you appreciate every detail of his face even more. His long lashes, the faint freckles on his nose, the thick eyebrows that are softening with each feel of your fingers combing through his hair, the perfect plump lips that whisper your name. 

It makes your heart pound against your ribs loudly, the sound echoing in your ears as your hands grow sweaty.

That's when you decide to pull him in for a kiss. His eyes flutter open for a split second of surprise before they close again, at peace and happy. Your hands lose themselves in his hair as his wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to the edge of the counter by the small of your back.

The contact is painfully slow, with measured pecks in between deeper kisses. He melts into you, lips softly grazing yours, breath fanning across your mouth as he nips at your bottom lip with his teeth to later soothe the area with his tongue. His lips slot warmly between yours, dragging out at a snail's pace before coming back. 

The tip of his tongue pokes between your lips, shy but determined to be granted the access you so easily provide. A soft moan bubbles up your throat as his tongue caresses yours with vehemence. It's unusually hot, but the foreign feeling of his tongue in your mouth is greatly appreciated, marked by the way you desperately try to pull him even closer, in hopes that he can swallow you whole.

The pit of your stomach flutters and stirs with the most pleasant tingle when one of his hands travels to the back of your neck and he pushes his hips against yours. Despite the layers keeping you apart, it's easy to tell he's grown hard from the sweet exchange. He's rock solid under his pants, the delicate moans that bounce off your tongue and onto his making him bigger with every passing second. 

He knows you can feel it, but you don't seem to mind, your head too dizzy with the collective sensations being fed to your body — his warm tongue, his bulge brushing your most sensitive spot over your jeans, his left hand holding you in place by the back of your neck while the other firmly squeezes your waist as he's consumed by the passionate kiss. 

You cling onto him, thighs drawing closer to keep him flush against you. His hips roll against yours, brushing so deliciously against the spot that's growing wet beneath your clothing that it sends a tickle up your insides.

He sucks on your tongue, the act drawing more lustful mewls from the back of your throat. 

You're feverish, your face burning when your shirt happens to rise, exposing your midriff to his calloused fingers which were so careful not to touch any new skin before the incident. 

There's a string of saliva that connects your mouths when you finally break your fervent makeout. His lips are swollen and glossy with your saliva, as you're sure yours are with his. 

“Eren,” you weakly whine in between breaths. 

“Hm?” he hums, as he parts from your mouth to leave a trail of wet kisses down your neck.

You shudder when he swirls his tongue against your sweet spot before gently kissing it.

You whine his name again, though your voice has a stronger shape to it this time.

He turns to face you, pecking your lips just once before easing his grip on your body.

“I know,” he murmurs. “Slow, I remember.”

“Yeah,” you breathe. 

His nose brushes against yours as he tilts his head to press a calmer, cooler kiss onto your lips. 

“I want to, by the way,” you admit bashfully, avoiding his blown pupils and opting to look at a blank point on his shirt. “Just… not yet.”

When your gaze flickers to his, he's looking down at you warmly.

“I understand,” he murmurs. 

Your eyes flit toward the window, reminding you of how late it's getting.

“I should go, it's already dark out.”

Eren nods, pulling back from the counter until you both notice the tent in his pants. You tear your gaze from the area, searching for something of interest elsewhere. 

He blushes, ready to express an apology for his body's reaction to your wanton moans and feverish kisses, but you hop off the counter and trail off to the living room to search for your jacket before he can, leaving him to softly laugh at your meek behavior as he makes his way to the bathroom. 

When he comes looking for you in the living room a couple of minutes later, you're seated on the couch, waiting patiently for him. 

You smile upon his return, no trace of embarrassment left on your features.

“Do you really have to go?” he asks.

Your expression softens but you nod.

“We have work tomorrow. And I know how you get if you don't get your beauty sleep,” you tease. 

He rolls his eyes, but wears a playful smile nonetheless. 

“No. I mean,” he takes a deep breath. “You could stay the night… if you want to.”

His voice grows timid with every word as he gauges your reaction to his offer. He doesn't want to be pushy, by any means, but he hopes you'll accept.

He watches you chew on your bottom lip, unsure of what to say.

“Unless, of course, that goes against the whole taking-things-slow agreement,” he awkwardly laughs. “But I just… figured you should know… I wouldn’t object to you spending the night. No funny business. Just… to sleep.”

A breath of relief pushes past his lips when a small smile finally grows over your previously troubled features.

“Maybe not tonight,” you say. “But I’ll think about it.”

His lips curl inwards to hide his smile before he holds his hand out to you so you can head out the door together.

Eren swings your linked hands as you travel down the hall from the elevator. It's a habit he's developed over the past few days after seeing you cry for the first time.

The image lingered with bitterness in his head the entire night. It still pops up every now and then, reminding him he has to do everything in his capability to keep it from happening again. 

As you walk to your door, hands comically swinging more aggressively each time with Eren's playful attitude, he marvels at your laughing face, feeling at ease with everything concerning you. 

He finally eases up on his swing when you reach your door, but your fingers remain laced with his until you absolutely have to part ways.

“Sorry I was so tired today,” he says, holding your hands up to compare the difference in size. He presses his palm against yours, eyes shimmering at the sight before he grabs your hand and brings it to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently. “I'll make it up to you next time.”

“I don't mind just hanging out,” you say, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “It's fun.”

He smiles as he watches you fish your keys out of your jacket pocket with your free hand. The click of the lock always comes before letting go, but it's fine because he still gets to see you tomorrow morning for the drive to your office. 

You turn to him, leaving the keys dangling on the lock as you drape your arms around his neck.

“By the way,” you murmur, pressing yourself further into his chest when his arms wrap around your waist. “You can spend the night at my place, too, if you want.” 

His features twitch and his eyes light up with interest at the offer.

“No funny business,” you add, before pressing a kiss on his cheek. “Just to sleep.”

He laughs.

“Of course. What kind of guy do you take me for?”

You smile, affectionately brushing your nose against his with your eyes closed.

“Just thought I'd let you know.”

“I’ll think about it,” he murmurs mockingly, echoing your response from earlier.

You look up at him quizzically.

“Do I sense some competition over whose apartment we stay at first?” you accuse. 

“I’ll get on my knees if you want,” he quips without missing a beat, not bothering to be cool about the topic.

You giggle.

“Perfect. I love pathetic men.”

He stifles a laugh, eyes twinkling in amusement as a reflection of yours. Then he turns on a comically serious expression.

“Baby, I’m as pathetic as they come,” he firmly states, which makes you laugh even more.

“You're such a dork,” you giggle.

He hugs you tightly, playfully rocking your connected bodies in the middle of the hallway as he peppers your face with kisses, relishing in your amused squeals.

The giddiness in your expression remains even after you're both standing still and he's no longer attacking you with kisses.

“Thank you for making time for me,” you smile. “I mean, you already do so much with driving me to work and everything. If you’re ever not in the mood, you can—”

He cuts you off with a chaste kiss to your lips.

“It’s my pleasure.” 

You bite back a grin and nod.

“Goodnight,” he murmurs before letting go and beginning his journey out with backwards steps.

“Bye, Eren,” you smile.

Before he can turn on his heel, you catch up to him, instantly making him drop his confused expression for a much softer one when you press your lips against his in one last kiss goodbye. When you pull back, he's got a goofy grin on his face as he waits for you to explain yourself. 

You smile shyly.

“For the road.”

November 4, 2024

I found out where my angel lives. It's not too bad a place, but I'm sure she'll like the room I'm fixing for her better. I'm working on a way to get some of her favorite things over to my place. Hopefully she won't miss them too much before I can reunite her with them. 

I'm so relieved. It was worth keeping an eye on her for the last few days. The only downside to come out of this is that I have to see that jerk's stupid face everywhere. He just can't leave her alone for a damn second. 

It pisses me off to see him touch her like it's nothing. That should be ME kissing her and making her laugh. Not him. He shouldn't be allowed to touch her. Still, she looks so happy each time. But I can't be mad at her. I could never be mad at my angel. She'll realize soon enough that I'm the one meant for her. I just have to suck it up in the meantime. It's bad enough that I have to keep my distance for now but do I have to see her smiling at the wrong guy, too? I can't take it. 

She's gotten prettier. It seems impossible but it's true. I could look at her for days on end — and I have the past week as proof. Her smile is brighter and she's practically glowing. It only makes the wait even harder but I still have so much to get done for her arrival. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I finally bring her home with me so we can be happy together.

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taglist: @erenjaegerwifee @youatemylollipop @okaystopwhore @bakuhoethotski

[dira333]

It is what it is - Tendou x Reader x Ushijima (platonic)

Another one of my "this is my boyfriend and this is my boyfriend's best friend" fics. This has been going round and round in my head the whole weekend, I hope I could put all the feeling into this that I felt about it. Tell me what you think.

Tagging: @lees-chaotic-brain and @satorisoup because in a way, it's Tendou

“Aren’t you worried people are going to call you out for this?” Satori asks, teasing lilt in his voice. “Flying all the way to Paris for a haircut?”

“I don’t care,” Wakatoshi exclaims, bathing in your joyful giggling and Satori’s amused snort.

“Whatever you say. I’ll see you after work, okay?” The redhead brushes a hand over his buzzcut before leaning over to kiss you - Wakatoshi averts his eyes on instinct.

“See you later. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You hold Satori’s hand all the way to the door, watch him step into the elevator before you turn back.

“Alright, now that we’re on our own. What do you want me to do with your hair? Some color? A buzzcut?”

“The usual,” he asks, closing his eyes when you pat his shoulder. 

There’s so much understanding in your words, your action, the simplest touch.

Oh, how he’s missed you.

-

“Wakatoshi, stand straight,” his mother orders. His father’s hands are warm on his shoulders as he stiffens, posture perfect now.

“This is my good friend,” she explains just seconds later and Wakatoshi can see it, in the harsh lines and the absence of a smile.

“And this is her daughter. It would make us very happy if you two would marry one day.”

“Love-” His father says in that tone he uses when he asks his mother to change her mind on something. She rarely listens.

“Of course, nothing will be settled until you are older,” she speaks over him yet again. “But I am sure you two will be fast friends.”

The adults leave them alone after that, with nothing but a plate of healthy snacks and glasses of water.

You are nice to look at, he thinks. Unlike your mother, you’re curves and softness, eyes glittering as you shyly ask what he likes to do in his free time.

“My father plays Volleyball with me sometimes,” he explains, “Or I read.”

“Could you show me?” You ask, pulling your lower lip between your teeth as you wait for his answer.

“The books or Volleyball?” He asks, not really understanding. He’s not good at reading between the lines, as his mother calls it. He hopes you won’t mind.

But your face lights up at his question, a sight he wants to see again.

“Both?” You ask and when he nods and turns to show you to his room first, your hand shoots out to curl into his, warm and small and soft.

He can’t remember the last time he held someone’s hand, but he squeezes yours like his father used to do with his and your smile tells him what he did was the right thing.

-

“Is this okay?” You ask, soft voice floating around him as you drag a comb through his hair.

“It always is,” he answers, stilling as you move to assess your work.

“It looks good,” you decide finally, smiling as you grab a mirror, making a show of presenting it. “You look good, Toshi.”

“You look better,” he insists, but it sounds foreign in his mouth. 

He’s not one to compliment someone’s appearance and he can see the surprise in your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes immediately, “It’s something I heard Satori say.”

“I thought it sounded familiar,” you agree easily before patting his cheek. “I sometimes lend sentences from him as well.”

“Pray tell.”

You smile, handing him the mirror again. “First you have to tell me how it looks.”

“Perfect,” he says, because it is. He looks the way he’s used to, the same haircut he’s had for years. You embrace routine as much as he does. Maybe that’s why the two of you clicked so well.

“Now,” you smile, “I’ll make us some tea. I’m sure I still have some sweets hidden where Satori won’t look if you want them.”

“I’d rather have something healthy,” he admits and your smile doesn’t flicker, it grows.

“Like the old days,” you agree easily.

It warms his heart that you remember the beginnings of your friendship as well as he does.

-

“Are you leaving?” Satori asks, looking up from his Shonen Jump.

“Yes,” Wakatoshi agrees, tying his shoelaces. “I will be back before lights out.”

“I’m not worried about that,” Satori laughs, “I’m curious. Where are you going?”

“I’m meeting with a friend.”

“Do I know him?”

“No, you don’t know her.”

The surprise is loud on his face, dark eyes widening.

“A girlfriend?” Satori gasps, hands pressed against his lips in excitement. 

“A friend that’s a girl,” Wakatoshi corrects. For a second he stills, doorknob in his hand. “Do you want to join us?”

Satori blinks. Once, twice, three times.

“Are you sure?”

“No. But I think she might like you.”

“In that case… give me five minutes.”

“I’ll inform her that we’ll come in later.”

“We won’t be late if we run,” Satori sings, diving into his closet to pull out something to wear that doesn’t wear the Shiratorizawa emblem.

.

Wakatoshi is usually blind to social cues, no matter how much he studies them. He still can’t read between the lines, but he can’t say he’s given it much thought lately.

He’s good at Volleyball and he’s excelling in his studies. What else is there in life?

You’ve never complained about him missing something either, clearly content with the state of your friendship. And if there’s someone’s opinion he cares about, it’s not his mother's, it’s yours.

But he can see it now, written in bold letters on your face, your eyes, the shiver of your hesitant smile.

You look at Satori like the girls from his class look at him before he begins to speak.

Your hand twitches as if to hold his but you hesitate.

He turns to look, surprised to see his only other friend just as changed.

Satori is supposed to be the confident one. Loud and unapologetically himself.

This Satori, however, is blushing, staring at the tips of his sneakers only for his eyes to flicker upwards and back to you for only a second before looking back down. 

Is this, Wakatoshi thinks, a little dumbfounded that it’s happening in front of him of all people, is this falling in love?

-

It’s cold, even for Spring in Europe. You curl further into the warmth of your jacket, hands stuffed into the pockets to keep warm.

The day had been bathed in a grey light that’s now dimming fast, street lamps and the warm glow of shop windows battling against the coming night.

Wakatoshi’s hand reaches out without a thought, folding around yours like he used to when you were little.

You look up with surprise and he’s not sure if he should regret this or not.

“You’re worried,” you tell him, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. “I can see it now. I was wondering what was wrong, but you wouldn’t say and I didn’t want to push.”

He opens his mouth to insist that he’s fine, a lie he’s been telling himself for weeks now, almost mastering to make himself believe it.

“Don’t lie, Toshi,” you ask and it’s the nickname that unravels him, a memory from long forgotten times resurfacing.

“I love you,” he admits, words spilling out of him like Volleyballs out of an upturned cart. They’re unstoppable, now that they’ve been set free.

But your smile doesn’t fade and your hand only squeezes his.

“I know, Toshi.”

His eyes flicker to the dark asphalt and back up.

“But Satori-”

“You don’t love me like Satori loves me, do you, Toshi?”

Your voice is warm and comfortable, like a blanket he wants to curl into.

“I don’t know,” he admits, because this is you. He’s always been honest with you.

“But I do,” you tell him softly, reaching up to cup his cheek with your other hand. “You’ve never looked at me in that way. We both know it, Satori and I, we both know you. What is worrying you?”

The question hits him like one does a tuning fork, everything in him vibrating to the point he fears he’ll fall apart. 

“I miss you,” he says, his voice carrying something he cannot begin to describe.

Hurt, loneliness, despair, insecurity. Will I ever be enough?

“Oh Toshi,” you rub your thumb under his eye, catching a tear that must have slipped out. “We miss you too. But we love you, okay? And even though it feels like that sometimes, you’ll never be alone.”

He considers it, smoothes it over the open wound inside of him like one does with a balm.

Another voice pops up, cuts through the noise inside his head like a warm knife through butter.

“There you are. I was looking for you.”

They both turn and Wakatoshi isn’t sure what he anticipates to see in his best friend’s face.

Anger, maybe, or betrayal. 

Not this kind of soft worry he isn’t used to.

You say something in French he doesn’t quite catch and Satori steps closer, wraps one impossible long arm around his shoulders, and curls into him.

“Can’t fool us, big boy,” he says with a voice so warm it feels like hot chocolate tastes, “Knew something was up when you asked to travel all the way here for a haircut.”

It might look strange to someone looking in, the three of them hugging in the cold night on the middle of the sidewalk.

But it’s not strange to Wakatoshi.

He should have known. These are his friends. His family. 

His home away from home.

-

“Is this really okay?” Satori asks, kneeling on the floor next to Wakatoshi’s bed. “You’ve got to be honest with me here, okay?”

“I am.”

“I am going to marry her if you let me, you know this!”

“I’d be happy if you did,” Wakatoshi insists. “If she wants you, that is.”

Satori snorts but it sounds more like a sob. “You think she likes me?”

“She said so, didn’t she?”

“Yeah,” the word is more a dreamy sigh than anything else. Satori puts his head back and stares up at the ceiling. 

“I didn’t know people like her existed,” he says, voice far away. Wakatoshi turns to look at him. 

“Girls?” He asks, a little confused.

“Kind people,” Satori explains, “with a good heart. Who don’t judge about someone’s looks.”

“Did that happen to you?” Wakatoshi asks, thinking about himself and his mother and you.

There’s something in Satori’s eyes, something vulnerable and open that he hasn’t seen before.

Wakatoshi pats the bed next to him before he can pull himself away again. Satori is nice. He wants to know him.

“Tell me about it?” He asks.

.

“You’re not good with social cues, are you?” Satori asks one day after lunch, walking back to Class.

“No.”

“The girl that was talking to you, she wanted me to leave.”

“Why?”

“Because she likes you. She wanted to be alone with you.”

Wakatoshi stops, freezing in place.

“What?” Satori asks, walking back to him. “What are you thinking about?”

“Do you want to be alone?”

Satori understands immediately. “Sometimes, yeah. But I’d tell you that, you know? Right now we barely manage to hold hands without our faces combusting. And I like having you there. She does too, I know.”

“How?”

“She said so,” Satori pulls out his phone, drags his thumb across the screen for a minute before he holds it up for Wakatoshi to see.

It’s an entire conversation he’s not been part of, your blocks of texts interspersed with the emojis Satori likes to use.

But he can read it, black letters on a white background.

“Wakatoshi is the most important person in my life.” It warms his heart like hot chocolate on a cold night.

“And since you’re my best friend too,” Satori singsongs, “You’re not getting rid of either of us.”

“Good,” Wakatoshi nods and repeats it once more for good measure. “Good.”

-

“Poland is not that far away,” you point out over morning coffee. Your hair’s a mess and you sit in Satori’s lap, leaning back into him every few minutes to remind him to feed you one more bite of the croissants Wakatoshi bought on his morning run.

“It’s not France.”

“Yeah, but the French team sucks,” Satori exclaims, “You’d lose all happiness playing for them just to be close. The Polish team sounds good if you ask me. And it’s really not that far. You could come over once or twice a month depending on your schedule.”

“I’ll think about it,” he agrees, buying himself some time with a sip from his coffee.

His wound is still open, though it has stopped bleeding.

“Do you think I’ll find someone,” he asks, yet again unable to keep the words inside before he has thought them through.

Satori and you both turn your heads to the side as you think, a habit that started with one person but he’s no longer sure with whom.

“Maybe you will,” you say, “maybe you won’t. You can be happy either way.”

“Don’t lose sight of what’s important to you,” Satori adds, “because it can be easier than you think. To give up on a boundary just because you think you have to.”

He considers that for a second.

“If I’ll never find someone-” Your hand finds his before he’s able to finish the sentence, squeezing as hard as you can.

“You’ll never be alone,” you insist. Satori’s larger hand wraps around yours until again, you are three.

- - -

The French Countryside is not a bad place to retire.

“Look what I found,” Satori raises a basket full of fruit, each looking better than the last, “everything from our own garden.”

“I thought you wanted to work less,” Wakatoshi comments, picking a plump apricot from the basket and biting into it. It’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.

“Ah, this isn’t work,” Satori insists, but he puts the basket down, pressing a hand to his back for a second. “I just need to slow down a little.”

“You should,” Wakatoshi agrees, but makes no move to pick up the basket himself. His back is even worse than Satori’s.

“Boys, boys,” your voice comes from inside, “Leave the hard work to someone younger. I’ve made coffee and tea, what do you want?”

They turn and walk inside, Satori singing yet another made-up song about the market in the village.

When he reaches you, he kisses your temple first and then your lips, squeezing your hips under the apron.

Wakatoshi has gotten used to the sight after decades. He’s more interested in his coffee and maybe the morning paper.

“Has anyone seen my glasses?” He asks, squinting down at the paper. 

Satori laughs. “On your head,” he tells him, but stays where he is, glued to your side.

It’s like this everyday and if someone would dare to ask, Wakatoshi wouldn’t mind living like this for another decade or two.

After all, one hasn’t lived before turning one hundred.

My Kofi if you'd like to tip me