#just projecting dont mind me 🙃

[deceptive-daydreams]

I know a lot people may disagree but I feel Eddie would def just fucking sob with you in a McDonald’s parking lot over some milkshakes while you talked about your problems like just bouncing off each other and ranting about your traumas cause you both needed it real bad

[motherforthefamicom]

random assortment of drawings i might as well post

[astrocafecoffee]

hi ! hope everything is going well. may i ask what does my groom pc chart rising being someone’s ( male ) natal rising, and their briede pc rising being my natal rising ? how will this play out. also is this kinda of a common occurrence in synastry ? im trying to see if its just a coincidence or kinda fated? lol ( just mentioning this,, theyre briede asteroid in natal squares my rising. doesnt it mean they dont see me as “wifi” material ? ) xD.

Helloau!! Lovely anon, let's interpret this 🤭-

Your groom pc rising is your person's natal rising / their briede pc rising is your natal rising : for me , it can't be a coincidence 🙃 , there's a karmic/ fated touch in this relationship as this alignment signifies harmonious dynamics within your relationship. You likely complement each other well , can be in friendly manner too.. but you both may share similar values , goals and approaches to life ( as both are rising placement) / deep resonance between projected image and the inherent personality traits of both of you. And btw apart from astrology human emotions play a significant role in a relationship/ friendship ( just a reminder 😗).

Their briede asteroid square your natal rising: square aspect can suggest tension but it doesn't necessarily mean your person doesn't see you as a wife material. Instead it could indicate areas where there may be differences in perception or challenge to overcome in your relationship. Its essential to approach this aspect with open mind and willingness to communicate and understand each other perspectives. Try to understand the underlying dynamics, then both of you can grow individually as a couple.💖

I hope this helps😃.

- piko💖

[lizpaige]

hiii

not sure if you’ve done this before, but would you mind recommending me your top pynch fics? Please and thank youuuuu

hi anon! thanks for the ask! I haven't done a "top" or "favorites" list but I just made my trc/tdt bookmarks on ao3 public so feel free to check those out. i normally bookmark fics i want to re-read and i've been sometimes posting a "fics i read this week" post where i bookmark fics from my history to post here on tumblr.

if you want to stay for a while i can tell you why i don't like top/favorites lists but no worries if you wanna stop reading now 🙃 and also i def dont mean to project any of this below toward you, anon, i really appreciate the question! however, when someone asks me something (esp on anon), i wanna be able to share my feelings on the subject, so here are just my thoughts on the topic of this.

i don't like favorites/top lists in fandom for a number of reasons:

I am SUPER indecisive - I read fic all the damn time and I have loved so many fics I read that if I made a favorites list, it would be 100+ long haha not super digestible for folks to read/pick and choose from. My bookmarks, for example, is over 120+ at the moment and I add to it nearly every week.

I am SUPER forgetful - I sometimes forget to bookmark or save a fic that I read and loved and then it feels like its gone forever. My bookmarks is not a solid list of every fic I've read and loved and people remind me of fics that I think "OMG I LOVED THAT ONE" like every week and I realize I didn't save it so even if I did make a favorites list it would probably be the faves I remember at that moment and not an accurate representation of all the trc fic I've been reading since 2021.

I am SUPER against it - this could just be from my experience in the marauders fandom, but I hate when authors are put on a pedestal or seen as "the best of the fandom" because I don't want to deter anyone from writing fic or creating content in the fandom they love. I've been writing fic since I was 13 (I am 30 now) and we didn't have influencer culture or rating fics on goodreads or speculating authors irl identities on tiktok. (Again this is mainly hp/marauders fandom toxicity hence why I'm outta there, but I think this must also permeate other fandoms - thankfully not trc that I've seen.)

Anyway, my point being - creating content (fic, art, music, etc) for a fandom you love is BEAUTIFUL and I don't want to contribute to the emphasis on number of kudos, bookmarks, and/or comments - that stuff shouldn't matter to readers and it shouldn't matter to writers either. And sometimes when these "favorites" lists come out, it makes the creators (artists, writers, etc) feel like their stuff isn't good enough. With the trc fandom already being so small (I think? where is everyone?) I don't want to contribute to that narrative.

TLDR: Liz, it's not that serious. I know but I was in the marauders fandom around the big boom of ATYD so like I've seen some toxic-ass shit. ty 💕

[freebooter4ever]

Sending love from one depressive spiral to another.

One thing that's helped me, as I'm coming out of this one, was getting my friends to pick prompts for me (to write in my case) which I then committed to filling BADLY. Because sometimes intending to create stuff that is just dumb and shit, means it doesn't mind that my brain tells me that it's dumb and shit because I'm like "yes brain, I know, that was the brief" and then before you know it you're back in the creating zone again

Tldr: commit to being shit. 🤷‍♀️

Hello, thank you! Depression is a little shithead because it takes different forms for everybody and sometimes warps depending on the circumstances so even when i think i have a handle on it and can prepare for gaps in my exercise routine that keeps me functional....something will happen and throw me for a loop and im back to struggling. For me, when im like this, that constant voice in my head drowning out everything else - and i mean everything - saying 'you're worthless, this is pointless' over and over and over and over is almost paralyzing. Try writing a cover letter when your brain is telling you that you are probably the most useless person ever and you cant see anything even remotely good about yourself. Its why i have friends proofread if i make any major changes to my generic letter content. Especially this one friend who has the same problem - he cant sell himself, i literally can hear him talk himself in circles into thinking he's old and washed up and not valuable on the market anymore - and i cant sell myself. But i think he's the most amazing talented person ever, and he's never said it but im pretty sure he thinks similar of me, so we check each others work pitches to make sure they sound suitably enthusiastic and glowing. Ive had other people also read my letters but if they dont understand how depression can sit on the brain and make it impossible to write this shit, they dont quite know how to help me. While my one friend who gets it knows that he needs to tell me 'hey, you left out this very important vital contribution to that one project, dumbass' (only nicer lol). So i have one very happy sounding, very aggrandizing letter that i tailor to wherever im sending it. But thats all stuff i need to do. Its vital, its a requirement, i can force myself to sit down and do it.

Personal art isnt exactly a requirement. So instead of making myself sit down and do it, i can just lie on the floor feeling numb and wish i dont exist anymore 🙃

[1d1195]

A PENNY?!?! Sam literally how?! AND FOR JEANS?! but you know what I would try to achieve that high again too lol But yay for shopping! Hope you got some lovely stuff bestie!

Dealing with teens all day for the entire work week is CRAZY so I dont blame you for having constant headaches lol oddly enough my brother is the one that suffers from headaches lol Oh hormones for sure cause the stomach to be wack which is so unfair! this period will NOT affect you on your break!! A period is never fun but hope youre taking care of yourself!

ME TOO!!! I do not fit in those flared/bell bottom jeans thats trendy now which is tragic solely because that's all i ever see in stores!?! Im also not even close to being considered tall or petite and those just make me look so off too bahah So skinny jeans for me have always been the option where although not the best option, they are the lesser evil of jeans lol

AWW that's so cute! Little Sam was such an icon for that!(you still are obvi) You should for sure should revisit the marry janes for the fall!!! I am waiting for that day too! Sam I don't think you know how much of a HATER i am of electric scooters, i am fighting a battle everyday trying not to get killed by them on campus 😭 But I love that coleege was walkable for you! It must have been nice getting to know the area well!

I had a feeling you played softball at least! Idk if my mind was just projecting the Made to be Universe/storyline but softball seemed like something you would have done/enjoyed! But omg you were like a full on athlete?! That's so cool! Not the injuries of course but the rest is!

I tense up so quickly because im very awkward about my feelings😭SAM THERE HAD TO BE MANY THAT FOUND YOU HOT! i kid you not being smart is SO attractive! Plus a cute girly who is GOOD at math in a typically guy dominated field!? The puns seem like a very you thing and i love that honestly! I think its so cute when people do that!

ALSO THAT POLL😭 bestie I cant choose😭I need them ALL! I spent a good minute thinking about my vote lol very excited though!

Have such a lovely start to your break Sam! love you!-💜

If there is a coupon I will find it lol. I can't tell you how many times I've signed up for American Eagle text messages and then unsubscribed just to get 15% off every time. I think I had a crazy reward and then the jeans were already on sale. I'm pretty sure they have to charge you something in order for the sale to go through so I think they HAD to charge me something.

I'm already enjoying my break actually despite my period. Thank God for Midol tbh I think I would die without it. My body is very clockwork so after cramps for a FUN 24 hours it's usually much more manageable. I HAVE to take meds though even if I don't feel crampy right away. The second my body realizes I'm on my period it's like "TIME FOR CRAMPS" and again, if I don't take the meds right away I get behind the pain and I am FUCKED for the remainder of the 24 hours.

I am trying to relax as much as possible because May and June are going to be crazy with senior prom/graduation and stuff. Plus I've outsourced myself as well for lots of other projects 🙃 I really need to learn to say no (time to reread Dolcezza) But I plan on finishing this book I'm reading (I haven't done very well reading lately, but I'm telling myself it's okay because it's not a race and I read a lot early on.) I do have to do some lesson planning but I actually enjoy that because I find math soothing like a psychopath hahahahaha

That's amazing you like skinny jeans. I feel so ostracized sometimes when it comes to my jeans choices. All my friends and coworkers have moved on with the trends and I'm still in 2013/2014/2015/2016 hahaha. VERY controversial: I actually really like jeans. I always by jegging jeans so they're super stretchy and comfy. Obviously if I can wear leggings I will hahahaha.

I'm crying about the electric scooter. You must be on a sizable campus to have electric scooters that's so funny. People drove their bikes/skateboards around campus a lot but no scooters. I loved the area my college was in (I actually live down the street from it in an apartment now because I love this area so much) it's very much the setting behind My Friend's Toyota hahaha

LOOK AT YOU MISS DETECTIVE HAHAHAHAHA I didn't even realize that about Made to Be that's so funny and true. I tried a bit of everything tbh. I did swimming (mostly so I wouldn't die growing up on the beach) and tennis lessons which I wasn't good at either but I really enjoyed anyway. I suck at ice skating (do you know how often you use your ankles for pretty much every sport? 🙃) and idk what it is about basketball but I may as well just sit in the middle of the court it would be less harmful to those around me.

OH BESTIE SAME HERE ABOUT FEELINGS. Everyone around me told me my bf liked me before we started dating and I was like "No he doesn't he thinks I'm gross" ☠ if they found me hot and attractive I kinda wish they told me! 😭 it's selfish but it would have done a nice boost to my ego. I was never the 'looked' at friend if you will. I called myself The DUFF™ all throughout middle and high school I really did a number on my self-esteem 😭 I am probably a little toxic when it comes to being a STEM girly lol because I tried so hard in high school and college to prove I was just as smart as the boys (sometimes more actually 😉)

For the poll it's just about the order which I think is kind of fun! I hope other people are enjoying it--I find it really helpful! I thought I did a lot of my more "obscure" stories on the last round of voting so I thought it would be nice to bring back some of the more popular series. I almost threw Protection on there too but thought it was too much (and too mean to make that decision) hahahaha

💕💕

xoxo

[kpdeek]

Personal (PCOS)

I've been meaning to write a KP fanfic since before the show ended, I've had inspiration stirring nonstop since EP1. I thought with the amount of free time I'd have this Summer this would be something fun to put my time and energy into, a project I can utilize everything I've learned from all the wonderful people I've interacted with on here in one way or another, but July has officially become the month of declining health for me.

I literally never used to see my doctor, I never had reason to. And suddenly I'm seeing 3-4.

It's a bunch of minor things piled on each other to create one BIG thing, but the main concern weighing on me is that I apparently have PCOS. And one particularly large cyst on my right ovary has been a real burden. It feels like constant cramping near my right pelvis, throbbing, bloating, heavy. I'm trying to go about my days as normal as possible as I monitor this thing (because it's supposed to go away on its own. & if it doesn't, then I'll need a minor surgery to get it out). But the discomfort is so constant it's all I'm ever dialed in to. I can't enjoy the vacations I'm going on, or just day to day activities.

It's not an agonizing pain, more like a dull pain. After doing a lot of research and educating myself on PCOS and related issues (to the point I drove myself into a panic attack in the middle of a family road trip 🙃), I realize that the stage I'm currently in is nothing compared to how bad this might be (or get), so I'm trying not to psych myself out too much. And yet, I've cried for three nights straight.

The mind is a strange thing. On the one hand, I know this is relatively common with people who ovulate, and what I'm experiencing isn't anything deemed too serious. In fact, it's pretty normal. On the other hand, I can't believe I'm spending the one summer I chose not to work doctor hopping instead (and not in the fun sense), and that I might need to get surgery for the first time in my life.

If this is a normal cyst (just a bit too big for my doctors' liking), then the 'surgery' isn't anything too complex. But I still need to run a few more tests (while waiting to see if the darned thing will clear up on its own) before I even know if it's worth removing, or what it even contains. (Don't search up images of a teratoma. Just...dont).

In the meantime, my brain is supplying me with all the helpful (sarcastic) things I've learned throughout all this. Namely, if it shrinks, I'm good! If it doesn't, teeny tiny incisions to get it removed. And if the bitch grows, or spreads, or turns out to be endometriosis, this is God or the universe's karmic retribution for all the times I've said "I don't like kids" or "I don't want kids", & I might say bye bye to one or both of my ovaries soon, and the option to have kids will become difficult, or be taken away from me altogether.

You see how my brain turns something that isn't anything yet and freaks me the fuck out? This was me for three hours until I finally broke down on hour 4 of said road trip.

Anyway, I'm trying to process everything it is and might be, driving myself crazy as I do. I don't want to be pessimistic, but at the same time I know I shouldn't be too optimistic. I've talked to close friends and family about it, I am thinking a lot about it, and the next step is to write about it, because that's how I've always processed things and ultimately comforts me more than my circle's generic words of encouragement (though I know they mean well & aren't intentionally trying to downplay the physical & mental toll this has taken on me. And honestly, I think the mental is exacerbating the physical).

I'm still going to write that KP fanfic, dammit!!! but as I write primarily for myself, I'm not going to put a specific time frame on it. I'm just gonna go about it as I'm comfortable.

Ummm...yeah, so this isn't intended for people to feel bad for me, or share my story, or whatever. I'm not even exactly sure how bad this thing is, or if my overthinking is getting overdramatic. Sometimes I just feel better after releasing everything I've got pent up into the void, as if I'm finally letting go of a bit of what's burdening me so I can care about it a little less. But if anyone else has or is going through something similar and would like to share their experience, I'd love to hear from you. It'll be cool to connect with others who get what I'm going thru.

[lesbienneanarchiste]

I want to be like "2019 is the year i at least try to get a gf or date mate that actually wants me" but that hasnt worked out so hot for the last 27 years of my life so...... 🙃

Anyway my only goals this year are:

get back to eating the way I want to be eating instead of listening to either The ED Voice or the GI dr who doesnt listen to me when i tell her specific diets dont help (tho obv im not gonna ignore her either but at the end of the day im the one living in this body and if i say low-fodmap, no-sugar, what the fuck ever diet doesnt help, then im not gonna keep torturing myself for nothing esp when it just triggers ED bullshit and i end up even more miserable)

Write literally anything

Try to get out of this reading slump

Craft 6 projects. 2018's goal was 4 and i did that easily but w my arm and pain and fatigue being what it is lately, im only increasing by 2. Plus im already halfway done w one project so...

Thats it. It'll be hard enough with those but also i am not a big New Year Resolution™ person since I dont think there should be special dates for starting new things and goals but like..... Yeah. I dont mind those.

[sereniv]

Hi! Yaqui anon (again lol) So I was doing some thinking about what you were saying in your responses, and ngl, I think I’m at another crossroads. You really emphasized the importance of connection when it comes to reconnecting, and I realized that, to my knowledge, there are no family members, either immediate or extended, who are enrolled in the tribe or practice the culture. The only thing I have is basically a family story and information online that could honestly be inaccurate (I think I mentioned that I saw tribes connected to ancestors in my research online, though I’d ideally like to actually view the uploaded records and not rely on information that anyone could input and that isn’t actually based on data from records (literally just learned that today so yayyy 🙃🙃) Unfortunately I can’t view the records that might have ancestors’ tribes listed on them without a paid subscription to the site.

I’m not going to lose all hope of trying to reconnect just yet and I’m still going to reach out to relatives, distant and not so distant, for any info, but rn it’s looking like reconnecting and claiming I’m Yaqui may not be my place. I won’t lie and say the thought isn’t upsetting to me, but I know I’ll get over it, and better to figure that out and come to terms with it now than insert myself in spaces that aren’t mine. If you have any advice— maybe I’m missing something— I’d appreciate it very much! Thank you again for being so gracious and informative with your former replies. Take care and be well 🌸

Ill put this one under a cut just in case it gets long. sorry if its not best written. i had to take an edible for body spasms so im a little drowzy

connection isnt just to family since someone could not have family or want contact and thats fine. my dad is Yaqui but hes not Yoeme. hes just Yaqui by blood. Also hes a bigot. He SAYS he cares and wish that he could learn but i think hes lying and would rather just be white. he also says no one on the yaqui side wants to talk to him. like huh really? i wonder why, trumper??

connection is more for community. connection looks a lot of ways, not just talking to people, not just learning. like for me, language is what makes me feel connected. even though im just learning.

for someone else it might be activism. it might be talking to someone in the same boat as you. it might be listening to music, or gettinf envolved. connection could be donating for projects that benifit the community if thats all you can do.

and especially for reconnecting its not going to happen all at once. its going to be rocky, and its going to be drawn out. there is never going to be a time where it all falls into place and you can check reconnected off on a list

it can be as much or as little. but there has to be some tether. like i said, just taking a title and then doing absolutely nothing isnt it. like..

ok so im trans and disabled. big identities for me. i never know when pride is, or trans day of visibility. i dont know news about trans issues unless i see it on my dash. sometimes if i read stuff that doesnt effect me, or even does, i dont feel anything. or rather im not emotionally affected. basically, i support trans rights 100%, just sometimes some things feel meh even if its dire. if that makes sense. i still care!

but being trans makes me happy and proud and that is just who i am. i am always trans. even when im not in the community actively. and this can also be attributed to passing, white privilege, etc.

and with disability its the same, even if its something that is very relevant to me. thats just how my adhd mind is.

and i felt bad about it for a long time bc i felt, of im really trans or really disabled then i have to be an activist and do the most and fight for the community!! but theres nothing wrong with being in the community but engaging when you feel like it

so connection is going to be tailored to you, and whats relevent to you as a person. like identities always sounds like.. a jacket? but its just you. strip everything away and being disabled, being trans, being native, being a religion is still there.

again its never going to feel enough which is why you have to focus on you rather than how youre percieved. its so hard lol. at least for me.

But in terms of proof, im in a slightly similar boat? My cousin has papers which he says he has that indicate that my great grandma was full Yaqui. which lines up bc (BQ talk for sake of thr conversation) im 1/8th, which makes my dad 1/4th, and my grandma half. i think my grandma. and then my great grandma as 100%. which unfortunately i never got to meet. ive also been told he thinks a cousin lives on the rez in arizona. but other than that i dont know anyone other than my cousin who is connected or even attempting to reconnect

So again it lines up. but its really hard to get that info. and getting that info is especially hsrd when you have anxiety or are shy. which can seem like

well if its important enough, then you can work through it and should. but thats why we have to focus on us. push a little past what makes us comfortable, but ultimately dont beat yourself up for not being able to interact with people.

and youre so right, i think you have a great mindset- because yeah its not about searching to be native or yaqui. its not fingers crossed let me be native

its about a missing puzzle piece. and if the puzzle piece you find is actually not the one you thought it was, what matters is still finding the right piece

also i would love to know where u get your info and that subscription site, unless its the ancestry.com shit. that makes me mad. everytime it shows up with info it gives me a money screen

also if you want if youre on ancestry.com or 23andme we can add each other. who knows maybe we're related lol only if youre down. ill give my name so you dont have to publicly. but you said youre shy so its cool if no

otherwise idk how anyone does genealogy. like my jewish side has a lot of info and italian from one of my cousins who collected a bunch of stuff. and then on my dads side it goes to my grandma and it doesnt fill anything in.

but yeah even if you dont feel comfortable claiming yaqui yet, you can still connect to the native community

and at the end of the day a lot of native ppl dont know their tribe they decend from. they are still native. just from an unknown tribe. which is sad to not know but like, its not their fault. it feels shitty to say youre not native anymore bc colonization ttok away records and knowledge of your heritage.

like i think one some people do is support their local tribe. get involved locally.

unfortunately i dont have much info to give bc like i said im in a similar boat. im shy and anxious so its hard for me to talk to people, so seeking that info overwhelming

and then bugging my cousin sucks

but since you seem to have a little less to work on.. idk. maybe sign up for 23andme AND ancestry so that you have a wider net for family members that you can contact

otherwise maybe getting a genealogist to help you

and yeah its ok to not claim anything. Theres no rush! you can still be in the native community and support

sorry if i missed anything

[1d1195]

Omg you’re a math girlie!?! Ngl that’s so ICONIC!! And no I simply cannot :( I have one main research class, which is taught by that hot professor HAHA but in that class we have to replicate studies in order to see because there’s like a huge replication crisis in psychology research or whatever lol and I think my group chose something about a dogs and humans idk!? And the other class is not a research class but our main project for the class is researching a sex myth and like provide evidence and stuff. It’s a human sexuality class so yeah definitely can’t use the same for both lol

And DONT BE SORRY!!!! I love knowing what ppl have to say! And you’re absolutely right about asking for help/going to office hours! Literally I have had TAs say going to their office hours is like their highlight!

And omg Sam I literally was in shock from how hot he was! Like I’ve never had a hot professor before like yes I’ve had cute TAs or whatever BUT HE IS JUST SO 😵‍💫 and he’s a biker and came in an all black outfit and my mind was going INSANE!! And he’s so sweet and kinda just gives off “nerd” vibes in the cutest/hottest way possible 😵‍💫But he’s like MARRIED BAHAH but yeah honestly such a win for me because that class is 3 hours sooooooo I will definitely not be complaining about lecture lol but I will sure share my delusions with you🤪

And 2 book already!? Omg that’s such a WIN!!! What were your thoughts!?

And you know I’ll do ready to read part 5 whenever it’s ready!!!-💜

Oh I am a STEM lady through and through. Everyone on tumblr, in the past, has been shocked about this given my “good” writing and whatnot. But my heart belongs to Pythagoras and Newton. That’s FASCINATING to me about the replication. I teach a section of AP statistics and we have a chat about why replication is so vital to a good study/experiment so it really paints a different picture when I think about stuff I read.

Omg group project?!?! 🙃🔫 I HATE group work. I always end up doing the most because I’m a psychopathic control freak. Also I think every group project I’ve ever been in is composed of me and the three dumbest people they accepted my year of college. I know it’s harsh and sounds super elitist of me but it’s MIND BOGGLING. I’m here to get a good grade. Ugh it seems this is my trigger 😂😂😂

He sounds like the stuff of daydreams 😍 I bet you’ll learn a lot in that class. Lord knows I would probably recite every word he spoke. You’ll be riveted! 😏😭 can’t wait to hear more about him!

I actually read book number three today 🙈🙈🙈 Christina Lauren again. Roomies. The male lead had an Irish accent so I was SCREWED. Gave me an idea for my own writing 🙃 but I literally couldn’t put it down! I bought myself a habit tracker so I am trying to do be my best self in 2024. Gonna be 30 sooner rather than later so no time like the present 🤢

Part 5 will be here soon!!!

Xoxo

P.S. sorry for the overuse of emojis. I’m hella millennial and I find them extremely helpful in expressing my emotions.