#just realized i forgot to post this on my main blog lmao

[satanslittlepup]

[mistykaru]

i wish to go back to posting all my doodles without feeling anxious :>

[euargh]

blogging

ohgod been up since five in the morning. washing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning cat liter, setting up the room my sis' and my brother-in-law stays, made breakfast for everyone, cleaned dishes, got dressed waiting for my dad to get ready to drive me to the post office so I can mail a letter (the guy there looked at me weird for wanting to put tracking on a regular card letter, but like? lmao it's comedic art and stuff and I worry about it getting lost. plus like free peanut butter yo), then got dropped off at the mall while my dad went to Sam's Club. Got anxiety once people turned their heads to stare at me and so I walked really fast towards the bathrooms to calm down. Accidentally bumped into a man. I apologized and told him he could go first. He said "no, you go first and you are GORGEOUS!" Me, being the stuttering deer-staring-at-oncoming-headlights creature I am -- squeaked then pushed out "and you're cool!!" Then as he went into his bathroom he continued saying "STUNNING! BEAUTIFUL!" I didn't know how to handle that but that was very nice of him. In the bathroom I was shaking because I tend to shake after talking to humans and I haven't been out in the wild for a while other than grocery shopping once every two weeks with my dad. Saw a janitor in there and politely greeted her because I don't like making anyone feel less than. but then i ran out because I didn't want to seem like a weirdo breathing in and exhaling out and forced myself to stop shaking. I focused on my destination, which was Game Stop. I stood in line and was very glad the guy in front of me took long because I was able to just stare into space and calm down. My shaking stopped. When I was next, holyshit I actually spoke normally. I asked for the Pokemon booster pack, but they were out of Pokemon Cards (once a month I redeem the freebie). Then because my dad was still at Sam's Club I decided to go to the restaurant there and get those $3 sangria drinks and a $3 daiquiri to take a breather and because holycrap I missed those drinks. I rarely ever get to step out nowadays. While walking through the mall to the restaurant, I started feeling depressed realizing I can't... function out in the real world. I'm always shaking, scared, weird quirks, hunch over when loud noises happen, hiss at times, and people think I'm on crack. I don't like unwanted attention. I try hard to act and speak normally but then I lose it somehow and then it's that other behavior. Anyways, made it to the restaurant. I missed it so much. I sat at the bar and requested the Sangria and frozen Daiquiri. I told myself I should NOT be spending money and I really shouldn't but holyshit I rarely ever go out and I've been so gloomy and depressed, so I will just make an exception for today. plus these are bargain prices.

The waiter was very nice and gave me both drinks. I thanked him and then quickly sipped the Sangria and chugged down the Daiquiri. Noticed this older guy nearby was staring at me with his mouth open. He got up to go to the bathroom and I didn't see him for a long while. Oops. Probably grossed him out. Felt some discomfort while eating all that ice at once then oh, it was a brainfreeze or something. Still kept chugging because I'm stupid and can't process pain despite discomfort. The brainfreeze pain moved into my chest. That was a weird discomfort feeling. I can't understand certain kinds of pain but others I'm familiar with, if that makes sense. Actually I don't make sense and can't word what I mean. I asked for the receipt, cleaned my section, and tipped him and then left to wait for my dad to return. He said he was still stuck in the store. I decided to walk around the mall since I haven't walked long distances in a while and miss walking. It was nice walking around. Forgot that Main Event existed. I hesitated because I should not be spending money, but putting five dollars into my card to play games for tickets shouldn't be that bad. Plus there is a Huskey plush my mom really wanted and I've been sad she's been too weak/ill to go out anymore (other than to appointments). So I went to play a few ticket games until I got enough tickets, and I quickly got the Huskey.

Spoke to my mom over the phone about it while waiting for my dad and she was really happy about it. Then she asked how I did it so fast and I was "oh I'm sleep deprived, probably drunk and don't remember" and we both laughed. I killed time with talking to her until my dad called to which I had to hang up. He said he's on his way. I saw the car and ran out the mall. He started crappy shitty stuff with me until thankfully a spam phone call rang in disrupting him. Then we did other errands and we went home. My back hurt carrying heavy stuff, still hurts... then I continued cleaning, cooking, wrapping presents, and... actually I forgot what the fuck was the whole point of this post I'm just rambling about 85% of what went on today? sleep deprived

[demonsfate]

Honestly your blog and the way you write Jin is such a breath of fresh air, that's why I always come back to ask you stuff because I also learn or remember things from the lore that I forgot over the years lol. I soo agree with your post about Asuka's wasted potential.. man. She's one of my faves and she could be so much more but Harada just can't seem to do her justice. Like you say, she's a Kazama. She's not some random character. She's part of Jin's family, yet we don't see them interact. And the one time we see them together, my mans falls straight down to her chest 💀. Sometimes it kinda seems the Pachinko stuff have much more substance than the actual Canon things we got in game.

I saw a video of the girls (Asuka, Xiao, Miharu, Alisa, and I think Lili) fighting a giant mecha Heihachi lmao. And I was like??? Bruh. This is incredible. I want to see Asuka and Xiao kicking ass together. And then there's Jin on his bike looking at them like, nevermind. lol

Oh my gosh! Thank you, haha!! I'm glad you enjoy it - always a VERY wonderful thing to hear, and does help with motivation to be around as always! And I ALWAYS love being asked things, too! A thing to always look forward to when logging on here. :P

YEAHHH. I'll just never understand the reason to write Asuka in such a way, or what's even the point of her character. Like, that never happened to Jun - Jun has always been written quite seriously. And yes, I know Asuka isn't a stoic like Jun is, nor is she a love interest of one of the main characters. But still! She's a Kazama nonetheless, and it's not like her concept is particularly silly or ridiculous. (See Alex or Roger) so, I really don't understand how her character just came to be fan service and comic relief.

AND LOOK - I know on this blog I often joke about Jin being a Mega Virgin and all that. But he's not THAT oblivious. Come on, he's still a 21 year old man. He'd understand why Asuka would be so upset at him for falling into his chest, even if it was an accident and he didn't intend to. He'd still realized what happened - instead of - INSTEAD OF QUESTIONING

wHaT wAs ThAt AbOuT??? (cue Big Bang Theory canned laughter)

It IS kinda funny how the Pachinko games do seem to have more substance. I haven't checked 'em out completely yet. But I mean, we do get Jin saving Asuka in an actual serious scene. Xiaoyu actually interacting with DJ, and I guess/think we see Jin actually fight Azazel? Like put that much effort into the actual games, please, lmao.

It would be actually cool to see Xiao and Asuka team up and interact. In fact, they could've done just that had they actually acknowledged that ASUKA HAS THE ABILITY TO REPEL THE DEVIL GENE. Like instead of introducing ANOTHER CHARACTER who supposedly can, with no connections to the Kazamas (Claudio) they could've had Xiao learn about Jun, then going to Asuka for help as she realized Asuka may have the same power. Upon hearing this, and how it can save the world as they know it, as well as their friend/family - Asuka agrees to come along with Xiao to track down Jin/DJ.

[probably-a-plant-thing]

Explaining that Tasty OC Info

So I got this ask a while ago, and while I'd like to post one massive comic series to explain them, I kinda can't lmao.

BUT I CAN RANT IN A BLOG POST.

SO LETS GET THE BALL ROLLIN.

So the story with Ivanushka (who this ask is referring to, I believe) doesn't really have a name yet just because I'm bad with that kinda shit.

What I'm gonna do is slap a height chart here:

Then explain each character left -> right

Ivanushka 29: [Peach] Ivan starts the story as an immigrant from Russia, living in San Francisco with his boyfriend Vladislav. He works as a bridge tollbooth operator on the Golden Gate Bridge. So one night on the bridge, it's near the end of Ivan's shift and he gets into an argument with a guy about being short ten cents and gets shot in the argument (because America)

Then when he wakes up in the hospital perfectly fine, naturally he's confused as hell but turns out he got an emergency blood donation from his lovely boyfriend who just "happens" to have his exact rare blood type. But WHOA HEY Vlad has been a shapeshifter this whole ass time? Holy shit-?

Anyway so long story short, Vlad's shapeshifter blood in Vlad caused him to turn into a human/shapeshifter hybrid I call a "Form Morph" and he can only change his head because that's where he was shot, blah blah. Now he's in debt with the hospital and Vlad knows just who to talk to.

Vladislav 30: [Blue] Vladislav immigrated to the states with Ivan and he's basically the biggest dumbass with the biggest confidence and the least impulse control. In order to immigrate cheaply, he made a deal with a gang in San Fran to smuggle them into the city and make them papers for the low low price of doing whatever the gang leader wants. Pretty easy, huh?

So when Ivan is shot and Vlad takes him to the hospital, he's basically now trying to help Ivan understand his new shifty powers and also confine his boss it's a great idea to let the emotionally unstable wreak into the crime circle.

Cowboy 35: [Green] Cowboy is more a nickname he forces everyone to call him, but basically, this is the southern son-of-a-bitch that shot Ivan over ten cents. He's a gun-loving, all-proud Texan that ran over to Cali because his family was busted for illegal moonshine.

He has more relevance to the story, but I don't wanna spoil everything for these guys.

Fox 25: [Orange] Fox is yet another nickname, he's a mutant like Vlad and 1/3 Ivan except instead of a shapeshifter, he can use mind control! He's been a thief for the majority of his life on the streets, so he started collecting gang members to make his little adventures more exciting.

Though through years of living in his own mind and the minds of others, he's gotten pretty arrogant and gets easily pissed when things don't go his way. He's a big man-child except with the ability to make you do whatever he wants. Normally he's "nice" but he does get his scary moments.

Styles 35: [Purple] Styles is the oldest/first member of Fox's gang and is basically the guy's right-hand man. He doesn't have any powers other than the power of alcoholism and common sense. He used to work at a rodeo derby until he met Fox

Frank 20: [Red] Franky is the youngest official member and he's basically the gang handyman. Again, he's just your average guy (I realize I forgot to color it, but Franky is supposed to be Latino-Japanese)

But yeah that's the main info I can give about these dorks right off the top of my head, but please! If you bothered to make it this far then thank you a lot! I love talking about my OCs. Never be afraid to ask for further info on these guys! I have even more lil guys I could talk about in different universes/stories.

I plan on making little comics to go into these guy's dynamics more, but like. Motivation n shit, ya know

[backslashdelta]

13, 19, 26 and 42!

Oooh omg okay I love these questions we're getting into process and organization this is fantastic thank you

13. Where or from whom did you learn how to gif?

When I first started, I think I had found some tutorial somewhere that I was using and I wasn't having a great time of it lol. But then @itstruthtime linked me to this tutorial and it pretty much changed my life tbh. 20/10, would recommend to anyone who wants to learn to gif. Of course there are lots of other little tutorials and various tips and tricks I've picked up along the way, but as for the basics, it's that tutorial. And also just like, I would like to make a point to shout out Cim in general who has been very patient and helpful and encouraging as I've been learning things, and is always happy to kindly let me know when I have been doing things I didn't even realize were wrong, like always posting my gifsets as text posts instead of image posts lmao.

19. What is your giffing process like?

Well, it's basically like the tutorial I linked in the last question. I plan out my concept, including scenes and any text that will need to go with each gif, and I usually just write that down in a notepad file that I don't even save. Then I check to see if I have screencaps of the scenes I want to use - sometimes I'll end up finding a different scene to use that way as well, but if I don't already have the scene I want screencapped and I don't find an alternative, then that's my next step (screencapping my beloathed). Then it's loading all the frames in and converting them to a smart object with the gif action I have. And then the fun begins!

Usually I start with a curves layer and maybe levels just to get the brightness right, and then I start playing around with hue/saturation and selective colour to adjust the colouring. About a month ago I realized that you can actually adjust the hue/saturation of individual colours rather than the whole image at once so uh... thanks for Cim for helping me come to that realization lmao. The option was literally right there I just didn't look so WHOOPS. Once I have the colouring right I move on to any typography that needs to be added, which is basically just a process of cycling through a million fonts until I find one or two that feel right, picking colours and setting styles, switching it screen or vivid light or exclusion or whatever else makes it look the best. I do all of that on just one gif, and then I usually drag those layers over to the other gifs as a base and just tweak them until everything looks like it goes together well.

Then I export them all to gifs and load them into a post draft, and this is the point where I usually realize that I forgot to set them to loop so they just play once or stop, or I didn't adjust the end of the timeline so it just goes white and the typography is there without an image behind it for a moment lol. So then I go back and fix that and save the gifset as a draft. I take a look at the post there to see how it looks all together, and I also look at it on my phone (I've realized that some of my gifsets are probably too saturated because for some reason everything looks so much less saturated on my laptop than on my phone, so this is an important step). And then it's just a matter of tweaking things until it looks good in both places!

26. How many un-posted sets are in your drafts right now?

I've answered this already, and the answer remains: none. I'm too impatient for that lol. If I had anything in my drafts, you would know because I would be making posts complaining about it (see: 1, 2, 3, 4)

42. How is your gif folder organized? Is it organized at all?

Yes it's very organized!!

Okay so first in my main gif folder I have a folder for everything I've posted, a folder for templates and just other useful things to come back to, a folder my things I make for my own blog (basically just my header I guess lol), and a folder for things I make for the KurtbastianArchive blog. And then any other folders are just for gifsets that I am working on at the moment. You can see in this screenshot that I'm planning an alignment gifset (like an alignment chart of Glee characters) and a Kurtbastian gifset with Mr. Brightside lyrics... I have not touched either in a long time lmao so they won't be happening anytime soon.

And then within the posted folder, I have a folder dedicated to each gifset I've ever posted. I have sort of standard naming conventions, where I generally start with the character or ship it's about, and will also include if it's for a specific event or a specific person usually, and then some other detail to describe it (which, as you can see, is usually a song name lol).

And then inside each of those folders, I have the PSD and the GIF file for each gif in the set :)

I also have a really organized file structure set up for my screencaps! Each episode gets it's own folder, and then within the folder there are subfolders for specific scenes. That way once I screencap a scene, I don't have to do it again, I can just come back and reuse the same screencaps. I usually try to screencap a whole scene at a time rather than just the specific moment that I plan to use for exactly that reason.

[babyboiboyega]

NEWS!

Hello!1!!

Imma make this short and sweet: I’m going on a hiatus :))

BuT baByboiBoyEga, You dOnT EVeN WriTe ENouGH To gO oN a HiaTUs-

Yeah, okAY WELL I’M STILL GOING ON ONE

Or at least a semi-hiatus. I’ll be posting scripted imagines that I imagine when I try to shift myself on my other, much less popular page: @finnlandiaaa​

I’ve been at this point where writing literally feels like a chore. It doesn’t bring me the same liberation and joy it used to, as it was a way for me to literally put my daydreams onto paper (or...onto a screen). But I’ve been at a point where just coming up with those scenarios is hard for me. I can’t really focus on writing when I sit down to do it; I can’t find the motivation, and I realized it’s because I’m so focused on trying to please other people with my writing, that I forgot the main reason behind why I write.

So that’s what I’m going to try to do on this hiatus! I’m going to continue, or try, to write, but I just won’t be posting on this blog for a while. I’ve had a mini series sitting on the edges of my mind since the beginning of this month, and I only just started on the prologue + first chapter. Ye.

Just wanted to let you all know before disappearing off the face of this website lmao!

Y’all stay safe! <3

[sporesgalaxy]

help i just had a dream with a VERY detailed made up show (movie???) about these ppl who were trying to find out how their dad died. and also there was a group of mercenaries that were pretending to be detectives. one of the mercs literally couldnt die unless she was hit in one specific spot near the lower gut and one of the not-mercs ALSO had that and no idea why. there was this one character who had been marketed as the main character but ended up just? being a random guy on the side who would pop up and make jokes out of nowhere in this Serious Show. like one scene on the yop floor of this extremely structurally unsound building he just randomly went 'its obvious this isnt ACTUALLY the sixth floor because that would be dangerous!' ???? the story itself was really interesting it turns out the son of the dad accidentally killed him and didnt realize he had? and he found out it was him bc one of the mercs had this cool....sight thing. he could see things about people. ANYWAY the reason im saying all this is bc after it ended i was like yess ok awesome and the screen started going through posts you had made? in my dream about it. they were very funny btw it was like.... ok there were a few different one but the one i remember best was this drawing of you in the lower left corner from behind pointing in a very scrangle way at a chunk of text you had written about the experiences one of the characters had and the subtext behind it and said character was standing there like [oblivious] . but i didnt get to read the text so i was like. ok i gotta remember the name of the show so i can check their blog when im awake. and i woke up and pulled out my phone and then. i forgot the name B:( and THEN i realized the show was made up. VERY SAD but also i thought it might be interesting to hear about

LMAO THATS REALLY FUN. CANT WAIT FOR THEM TO START PUTTING MY POSTS IN MOVIE THEATERS FOR REAL!!!!!!!!

[trashlie]

!!! omg yes yes i’d love for you to write more about that!!!! and! the first post from you i saw about kousuke and how he subverts the trope of the ml??? it was SO GOOD!! and you got another ask that mentioned how people saw yeonggi as the happy go lucky character! it reminded me of this ask which is very long i sent to @somebody-909 😭 i was just gushingggg about secondary male leads bc i for some reason always end up rooting for them and how yeonggi has the vibes even though he’s a main character 😩 and also we talked about other characters like kyo but i forgot that tohru also had dealt with abuse from her own family so in the end it’s like. it’s a story about two survivors finding happiness etc etc 😔🥺 idk idk all of you guys who make analysis are so cool

I hope you don't mind me answering these two asks separately, because I just know if I didn't I would miss too many things, haha!

I'm not sure if I could write a very good analysis of Yeonggi subverting the secondlead trope, but I sure could try! I feel like it's a little more biased because I DO ship Stalkyoo, but I think I can try to work with it! I also remember seeing that ask (I was going through their blog the other day) and I really enjoyed it! Like you, I tend to favor secondary leads, which I think is also because I have a tendency to love the act of yearning and pining lmao and man second leads sure do pine a lot, right? Also because second leads often (though mercifully not always) have a tendency to hesitate and miss their timing or just plain don't act on their feelings, and it creates a big sense of what could have been, and I think when you are someone who favors underdogs, you really fall into that "what could have been" thing, right?

(I think there's also a conversation to be had about first vs second leads and traits of masculinity, but I am admittedly not well-versed enough to do this, but some general food for thought is: often in the case where I favored a first to a second lead, it's because the first lead evoked a lot of traits of masculinity that I don't care for? Jealousy, possessiveness, being cold and not showing their emotions esp compared to a second lead who was often portrayed as gentle with his heart on his sleeve, kind. In a lot of these cases, the second lead is often not favored by the majority of the audience because "he just feels like a friend" aka he lacks the masculine traits people think a man should have~ or blah blah blah. I wonder if this is still a prevalent thing these days? I tend to avoid love triangles so I'm not sure, but, it's something I would like to throw in if I talk about Nol subervting the second lead trope aaahhhhh now I'm just on a whole other tangent lmao)

Here's an embarrassing admission: in the past, when I was young, back in like, 2007 in my first year of college and I started reading Fruits Basket and I watched the original anime lmaooooo I actually really favored Yukki, because I'm a gross sucker for gentle prince types lmaoooo but as I've gotten older, being able to understand what made Kyo and Tohru work so well was really satisfying!

I've become really enamored with the idea of Nol and Shinae as mirrors to each other, able to help each other identify and work on the parts of them where they are weaker or struggle, and the idea of these two people coming from uneasy lives and finding comfort in the sanctuary they create together? WHOLESOME. I live for that shit. (I don't ever want it to read though like I want Shinae to "fix" Nol or anything like that - he has a lot of work to put himself, just like she has for herself, but I like the idea that as they become people who heal themselves, they help each other heal, too, in the ways that they reflect each other, if that makes sense?) Survivors creating their own sense of home, out of the mess that they've endured is.... AAHHHHHH satisfying! There's something so strong about survival, let alone finding comfort in the wreckage of all that tried to destroy you, isn't it? Shinae has been dealt a bad hand in life, lacked opportunities others had, was judged mercilessly without anyone getting to know her; the idea of her becoming a person who can face the world without feeling like she's ill-fit, without feeling like she's out of place, because she's finally learned her value? Hhhhhh I love it! And likewise, Nol being able to face his awful family knowing that he is more than they ever saw in him, that he was never the villain he was made to believe? PLS my heart!!!!!!!!

(You know, my first time I read ILY, before I realized it was deeper than the surface and than I gave it credit for, I was also convinced Nol was a second lead interest, simply based on the fact that so often characters like Kousuke are coded the first lead and that characters like Nol are there to make us sad lmao. I think that's what made writing the Kousuke analysis so easy for me! At one point I decided to a read where I did not view anything through a romantic lens - not even things like the hospital balcony scene or the wac hand holding - to try to judge just what else could be going on under the surface, that's when I started to realize that a lot of scenes are kind of kind of a couple things superimposed over each other. Kousuke and Nol look like they're competing for Shinae's favor when they each remove their jackets, but what does it REALLY mean. Ironically enough, reading without a romantic lens made me favor Nol and Stalkyoo EVEN MORE lmao because I was finally able to pay attention to the nuanced depth and character development, and the way their relationship progressed as she came to trust him and their friendship solidified really made the framework feel obvious. But the point is: like you I tend to favor second leads and I was already favoring Nol on the principle that he's so sad and I just wanted to see it all turn around for him for once lmaooooo)

[hufflautia]

Where it all started [Part 1]

Chapter 1 

Sometimes links don’t appear on posts. if you can’t see the link to “Chapter 1”, my masterlist is pinned to the top of my blog, and you can find it there.

Summary: Slytherin’s parents have another argument, but at this point, no one’s surprised. After all, they’re her parents. It would be abnormal if they didn’t argue. However, this one’s a biggie. The fight ends with the slam of a door and her dad packing his bags into the car and getting ready to leave. Desperate for him to come back, Slytherin’s mom forces her to go to him with a message that will surely make him stay. Buckle up folks, for this is where it all began. 

Slytherin stood on the sidewalk as she watched her dad pack up his things into the van. 

She dug her fingernails into her arm, her heart stinging with ache as her dad turned around with a smile on his face, a failed attempt to reassure her that it was going to be ok. It was all gonna be ok. After all, this was normal, right? It’s not like it was unusual that her dad was leaving again to go back to Florida, where the homewrecker waited for him, her outstretched hands eagerly opened up to him and his credit card. 

However, this was the first time he left abruptly. A spike of sorrow stabbed at Slytherin’s heart as she thought back to the sound of her parents’ door abruptly opening; soon after, she could hear angry stomps that quickly descended down the steps of the staircase. 

She could almost hear the hiss in her ear as she stood in the archway of the living room, watching her dad leave in the far distance. “Tell him that Ravenclaw’s crying,” her mother spat, pushing her towards the front door. “Quickly, before he leaves!” 

Slytherin internally sighed. How typical. Instead of resolving their relationship issues by going to couples therapy, her mom decided to throw all those burdens onto her daughter, who had already grown tragically used to being used as her puppet. 

She decided not to argue against going after her dad and trying to guilt-trip him into staying home as her mom wanted. Otherwise, she would be lectured on how she’s selfish and wouldn’t do this small thing for her mom, how she’s basically ruining this family by letting her dad leave, how family is so fucking important and manipulating her dad into staying would be vital to their happiness as a whole, how family this and family that. 

You get the point. Slytherin certainly did. That’s why she was currently standing awkwardly behind her dad, staring at his back as he lifted boxes into his car. 

“Um, Raven…” She paused. Her throat felt dry and tight. Swallowing with difficulty, she tried again. “Ravenclaw’s crying.” 

It wasn’t the crying itself that mattered. That wasn’t the main reason why her mom rushed her out the door to deliver the message to her dad. It was simply the fact that it was Ravenclaw who was crying. Let’s just say that he and his dad had a complicated relationship. 

Things were never the same between them after Ravenclaw sent an angry message to him via text when he was in Florida a year ago. The contents of the message reeked of disdain for his constant infidelity. When his mom found out, she shoved the phone into Slytherin’s face in the dead of night and asked if she knew about this. The glaring light from the screen nearly blinded her. 

Slytherin read the text messages through squinted eyes and could make out a few curse words here and there. Though she was slightly disoriented from the sudden ambush of information, it was clear to her that her brother resented their dad for what he did.  

That made Ravenclaw’s anguish even more useful in their mom’s opinion. Seeing the tears streak down his face when he heard that his dad was leaving again, she had a glorious idea. Perhaps if her husband knew of their son’s sorrow, he would reconsider his abrupt departure. After all, it was Ravenclaw who was crying. 

If it were Hufflepuff, that would be understandable—she can get quite emotional sometimes. But it was Ravenclaw, who was usually guarded and distant. One might suggest that he was secretly broken inside. But that’s not the point, at least not in his mom’s opinion. The main thing she was concerned about was that she could use his misery to her advantage! Maybe if her husband knew of his sadness, he would feel guilty enough to stay behind. After all, if his son, who despised him, was upset over his departure, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to stay home and endure his wife’s temper for a little while longer. 

Slytherin’s words did produce somewhat of a reaction. Her dad didn’t turn around for a while, but when he did, his eyes were slightly red and puffy. It was evident that he was trying to hold back his tears. One might think that this means that he’ll stay. He seemed distraught over the news that his son was crying because of his leave. Surely, he’ll stay, right? 

It wasn’t enough. Nothing ever seems to be enough.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?” He hugged her briefly and gave a light squeeze as a sign of reassurance. As a silent message that it was going to be ok. Even though everything was most definitely not okay. A thousand hugs and gestures of reassurance wouldn’t change this. 

Slytherin didn’t react angrily to his refusal, the unspoken declaration of No, I will not go back home. In fact, it seemed as if she didn’t react at all. However, if one were paying close attention, they would notice the sparkle in her eyes dim. But maybe there wasn’t a sparkle to begin with. She had been enduring this shit for so long that she forgot what it was like to be normal, to feel like the white kid you see in commercials, the one who seemed to radiate mirth, a type of energy that said, I don’t have a care in the world because life is so fucking great and I can’t stop smiling. She didn’t even bother to smile, a common facial expression when one is in a difficult situation and tries to diffuse the somber atmosphere by slapping a facade on their face, the corners of their lips upturned to form a grimace that resembles some sort of a smile—a twisted kind of smile, that’s for sure. Why should she pretend that everything was okay when it wasn’t? Instead, she merely nodded in response. 

When her dad pulled away to pack the last box into the trunk, she took a deep breath to diminish the familiar sense of abandonment that flooded her senses, to clear the warning signs that flashed in her mind. He’s leaving! Your dad is leaving! He’s abandoning you again. You’re apparently not important enough for him to stay. 

She stared at the ground, only looking up when she heard the sound of a car door slamming shut. The resounding click was all it took for the waterfalls to finally pour from her eyes, for it was at this moment when she realized that this was actually happening. This was no dream—it was reality. Her sad, devastating reality. Tears blurred her vision as she watched the car drive away, leaving her in the dust. 

Slytherin gasped in erratic breaths between her broken sobs as her eyes hung onto the tiny speck that resembled her dad who was driving 

away, 

away, 

and a-w-a-y.

Through the jumble of thoughts that clashed in her head, one thing was clear. Her dad was her dad, but only sometimes. 

Tears streaking down her face, she tried to soothe her pain with the belief that he would be back soon. If only she had known that it would be a while before he returned. If only he hadn’t left. Perhaps things would’ve been different for her if he stayed, for this was where it started. 

This marked the beginning of it all.   

Comments and reblogs are a writer’s gold!

MASTERLIST ; sometimes links don’t appear on posts. if you can’t see the link to “MASTERLIST”, the masterlist itself is pinned to the top of my blog. check it out if you haven’t already! 

Author’s note: HI! Were you surprised to see that I posted two fics in a row?? I hope you enjoyed this. Most of it was unfortunately based on what happened to me a year or two ago. I based Ravenclaw on my brother, who did actually cry when my dad was leaving after an argument, and yes, my wack mother did force me to run after my dad to tell him. One of the few differences is that I’m not a drug addict and I’m fine now so dont worry. 

Idk how I feel about this series, it is a lot darker from what I usually write. I know I’m gonna have to write more for creative writing class, so maybe i will continue it. I will try to think of how to turn these fics into something more positive, because this stuff is very heavy and depressing. however, that will be a little difficult because the plot itself is naturally drab. however, i will try to think of a happy ending for Faye/Slytherin. 

Shall we look at some wholesome pictures? 

lmaoaoa i pasted this picture from the internet and tumblr glitched and pushed the pic all the way to the top. imagine seeing this dog at the beginning of the fic, that would be funny :’) 

AWWWWWW I THINK THIS MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE

ok hold up i just realized that is probably a stuffed animal 😐 this is so embarassing lmaoaoa when i saw it i was like THAT IS SO FRICKIN CUTE

OK WAIT WTF NOW I THINK ITS AN ACTUAL DOG??? CAN SOMEONE HELP AND TELL ME IF ITS REAL OR NOT?!! at first, i thought it was real, but then i looked at the paws and it looked kinda fake and i was like this dog is too fluffy and wholesome to be real. BUT THEN I LOOKED AGAIN and i think the owners just put the pooh outfit over the dog?? what is going on with my brain.. but at the same time, its 2 am for me rn so maybe i should get some sleep BUT FIRST, LETS LOOK AT MORE DOGS <3 (lmaoaoa i feel like my friend would say “gosh ur such a hufflepuff” (menna im talking about u lmao omg hey gorl)) 

After seeing this gryffindor pup, i immediately searched up “dog costumes hufflepuff” lmaoooooo

OK THATS ENOUGH DOGS FOR NOW. Part 2 is coming soon. I already have it ready but I might not post it right away. 

That’s all for now. Be sure to let me know what you think. TOODELOOO!

TAGS:  @slytherpuff-shenanigans @lokijiro @xxkitsurikaxx @sara-is-boredd @skylee-skz   @determinedpines @draco22malfoy @pancakes-and-sugar  @casteel08 @indigosimon1998 @tell-that-to-my-feather @the-ugly-duck0 @prettyblueskylark  @okiguessimawitchnow @daisyinmyheart @peachyblue @korra4321 @shoyoockbby  @ravenflowersposts @walkinganomaly @parkerthemarker02 @hummingbird-hufflepuff @bumbblebeeeeee @luciferswife16 @iknow-im-cute @maisen98 @shadowsinger11 @tuonglam03 @fanfic-reblogger @mygc0re @rellasworld @sha3thehunter @croctusjuice @jadefox05 @d0uxs @charleii @kaylenthegreat @hufflepufflepukwudgie3897 @insertlongnamehere @trashpannda @ihate-myname @nowheredreamer @history-geek101 @strawberrypanda99 @nikkijovanic @hannanshi @sirenofthe7seas  @johannamariemst @badass-like-damon  @willow-salix @remmyswritings @x-whatsupdoc-x @dracosvftie @hitchhiker-of-the-galaxy @akerlizzie @thatfann @justanxiousme @another-witch @bucinjisung @elegantcroissantplaidpony @treefroggo @narritydream @hufflpuffles @adreameratdawn @leftpeanutturtleegg @turbulentbluebird5 @geekgirl69 @praiseourlordduck @quakemebacktothe50s @nomad-of-the-realms @stardustzainy  @theblackwolf21 @crakencc @introvertedrae @cryinbisexual @bojelina @cocoqueenstheword @manicpixiedreamtarot @velvetstrawberry @jxmpsuitx @simpering-simpleton @urfaveslytherin @asterinatlas @simpforkpop @pufflehuff929 @morallyambiguoussimp @applekenm @chunwest @oncergleekpotterhead @no1-importan @qiaopao  @dulduldoldul @schlongbottom @vickeyunicorn @peanut-in-the-goal @hufflepuffgirly @flvrqnce @nothingtoseehere812 @maxwellsgang @1d-killed-me @betacaroteno-lanudo @dragon-slayer-fairy1 @thatonebislytherin @dragonsandbread @justanotherperson @sophiexteresa @hmilkwhoney @writertwiddle @questionsbecameourocean @anomiatartle @coldsweetharmony @dont-hyuck @fixstationed @kindawannadietbh @trippy-morgan @xo-angel-ox @fangirlgeekandfreak @evolnura @mossy-axolotl @verylovelystars @boilyourteeth @megand2017 @malfoys-demigod @booksntings @joshirlangford @staymoarmyzen @poojxshxh @hedgepuffgirl @alverniaphi @verifiefangirl-mainblog @purpleskymalfoy @roxy3457 @rayanicaraynbow @jess-harrywars @starrysonic @tonksichu @lauxtbs @tumlbr-trasher @chelseasosa @thebiggestnaturaldisaster @swagangelhorsepickle @princessstoopid @pymmoon @emilyaneliperry @pond-waterr @pandapillow @saraleo95 @astrartss @trentalexanders @theoriginaljohnwatsonsblog @nevilletheplantboi @just--another--hufflepuff @yoongifiess @ajdqueen @annie-mcl @coloring-bud @majorfangirl37 @eatacrackerandstop @weasleytwinswheezes @imscaredofhorses @dontmindmeimjustabox @glitterykidlightmug @multi-fandom-nutjob @littleemotionalpanda @thewitcheswords  @blueberry-9-pancakes @worldsbestdilfbecky @qixnsriess @inexperiencedpotathoe @notsowiseravenclaw @captiniminnie @ruinyourface @da-fox-rangerrr @inkedintothepaper  @happy-puff @grandcyclecreation @dawinehouse @catiwisspuff​ @aasa2102​  @mae-25​ @sydthekidd98 @kokichismango @xxavaloraxx​ @iamahufflepuff​ @adoregin​ @sunnniiee @lewispoolerpayton @dumbbitch85​ @bumblebirbs​ @diggorycullen​ @protectorofsk8topia​ @silverhetdanes​ @zuko-28​  @beardedhumanoid​ @arianatorpotterhead​ @shipping-book-keeper​ @marvelenthusiast10​ @i-cannot-do-aesthetics​ @a-huffleing-lesbean​ @kaslec​ @hufflepuffwritess​ @mouthfacereborn​ @kodeinekissss​ @ihavenocontrolofmylifeeither​ @pinqgchuu​ @im-a-solanum-lycopersicum​ @clementines-x​ @stressy-depressy​ @sweetinvisiblewriter​ @absentmindeduniverse​ @asnowpuff​ @theofficialgaybestfriend​ @violayaxley​ @sunshinyyb @colettedelaurel​ @theoriginalsherlockholmesblog​ @i-have-a-bad-feeling​ @jpow345​  @gay-disaster826​ @bloodyxheaven​ @autumnpleaves​ @froggy-failure​ @toomanybandstocare​ @pink1babez​ @untitled-2424​ @sleepdeprivedgurl​  @chaseanders​  @wolfpack-arts-industries99​ @nugnugchick​ @queenofwordsandnerds​ @ganjeolhiddaeng​ @wordy-escapades​ @writtenfoxscreams​ @w0odr0ses​ @coolpetsmcubandit​  @crypticcandi​ @widowsgranger​ @fantasyprincess101​ @wiiltedflowers​ @aestheticworldd​ @miniaturefunnytraveldonkey​ @bucketofdeadroses​ @uwuplsh​ @softedits-exe​ @cel3stialone​ @sofiapeachyy​  @wanderaven92​ @eunnieah​ @marsupialsgotbloodyears​ @eurydicedior​ @neonuzumaki​ @uhhhem​

[jovalencia]

we all knew this was coming and I’m a sentimental bitch. I just wanted to write all my mutuals some little messages about how much I love you. you guys have changed my life and I am so grateful for each and every one of you!!!💕💞💓💗💖💘 anygays have fun searching for yourself in this mess and I’m sorry for any typos, I’m illiterate (and if i forgot you it’s because i lost my brain in 1912)

@cr1spyy fernanda, my first ever mutual. who would have thought that your 5th wave posts would have brought one of the most amazing people in my life to me. your posts always make me laugh and your dedication to the good morning asks is admirable (fr I could never have that much consistency) you’re so kind to everybody and you’re absolutely beautiful and incredible and I fucking love you so much. I honestly don’t even want to think about what my life would be like if I had never met you, MWAH💕🤍

@sundaymorninghangover I remember you being my first ever note!! you liked this post I made that was a reblog of a “uquiz” that was actually a rickroll lmao. you didn’t even follow me back then but whatever. Then I remember waking up one day to see that you had tagged me in a bingo ask game and I was like “ummm tf is an ask game” but I do still have a bingo card for it that I never used ekenksjs. anygays, you have good opinions on everything and you’re absolutely fucking hilarious. If you told me back in may that I would be friends with you I wouldn’t believe it bc you intimidated me but regardless I’m glad to be an arson gang member with you. your memes are god tier and so is your music taste. I love you whore!!!!!🖤💜

@sound-and-colors ma’am you’re so nice and for what??? the aesthetic stuff that you reblog is *chef’s kiss* and nobody else is out there doing it like you. we’ve never talked but I just know that you are absolutely incredible mwah❤️💛

@embeddedinmybrain tasfia you are the nicest person on his hellsite and you know it (I hope). It was so much fun being your secret admirer anon while it lasted, like fr I loved it. Your art is beautiful just like your heart and i honestly don’t know what I did to deserve such a kind soul like you in my life. You’re always there to hype me up and ily (also just cut your own hair already I believe in you)🤍💙

@gumptin you hooked me with your suus icon and reeled me in by being the coolest and funniest person ever. your posts are consistently hilarious, accurate, or relatable and I admire that. I mean it when I say you’re one of the coolest people on here. idk what I did to have you think I’m cool but I’m honored nonetheless. also you have really awesome style and hair jdnjdjdjd mwah💚💛

@nori-in-pink first and foremost, your blog always has a very nice aesthetic and I feel like I need to acknowledge that. anyway, you are so kind and supportive and you don’t take any bullshit and that is absolutely amazing. you are absolutely iconic and always reblog the best stuff so I know I can count on your blog to be fantastic. you used to scare me (idk why don’t ask) but now I know that you’re just a big teddy bear ily💗💜

@matteohnora my slurpee queen and my mememate!! you always send me the funniest shit and it doesn’t go unappreciated. You’re always there for me with a silly meme or emotional support and I don’t think I’ve ever told you how grateful I am for that. whenever you stalk my blog it makes my heart go whooosh and I feel so special. Ily and I am so glad to have met you💜❤️

@lieverobbe ah yes, the girl with the impeccable music taste. that’s what I know you as, oh well. you are more talented and kind than you could ever believe and your edits are amazing!!! whenever I see you on my dash I get all happy bc I’m like “em’s here!!!” I love all your lil posts and I am so glad that you are my mutual ilyyyyy💙🤍

@ironymane you’ve watched limitless which automatically makes you amazing. you’re an absolutely incredible and amazing person and even tho you aren’t on here as much anymore, I still love youre lil posts. And one time you kept me entertained on a 6hr car ride so you deserve some kind of award for that. ly🧡💛

@kingarthurpendragons okay the obvious thing to talk about here is your incredible talent when it comes to gif making. Like how in the hell- but you are also so kind and loving and it doesn’t go unnoticed. You don’t have to send nice asks but you do and ily for it mwah!!❤️💗

@engelkeijsers the skam nl stan that we all deserve to have in our lives. you are so fucking hilarious and relatable and all around amazing and for what? your posts always put a smile on my face and it is so much fun to clown with you. ilyyyy💚💛

@happiness-isin-you let’s ignore the fact that it took me forever to realize that this was your main lmao. your art is some of the most beautiful shit I’ve ever seen. like your style is so cool????  I could literally go on about this for hours don’t test me. the cute animal pictures are the absolute best and you’re always there for emotional support. Ilyyyyyyy💛❤️

@isakyaqi fiz you are so kind and talented and cool and I really do mean all that. You reblog always the best of content so I know I can trust it. you always put nice tags in the things you reblog things and it’s fun to read what you write because it’s almost always you hyping up the creator or the thing itself. you are awesome jdjdjdndjjd mwah🖤🤎

@cash-queens sam oh sam. Idek where to start with how much ily. You’re my famous mutual which is very iconic of you and you put up with my cat pictures and my silly antics and my riverdale posts. You’re so kind to me and everybody and whenever I make a post when I’m having a mental breakdown you’re always there to make sure that I’m doing okay. That def doesn’t go unappreciated. You’re legitimately one of the kindest and most amazing people I’ve ever known and I love you so much, more than you could ever know💛🤍

@welcometo-saturn çağrı you’re so cool. end of statement. that’s all I have to say about it. your gifs are so beautiful and you don’t take shit from anybody. you’re so down to earth that it makes it seem like you’re somebody who I’ve just always known (even tho we’ve never talked sjdjdjdjdj) so yeah anyway, you’re are a really awesome person with really good opinions and I am so glad that we are mutuals🧡❤️

@amifeelingokay it’s difficult not to start with your url bc it’s amazing and I love it. your skam posts are always so nice and cute and positive (just like you!!) and I love them. the content you reblog is always aesthetic or a nice text post and I just love your blog okay. ily💜🖤

@isthatelpome you’re so nice that I’m willing to overlook your opinion on salt and vinegar chips (they’re not good I’ll fight you on that) your dani icon is beautiful just as you are, mwahhhh🧡❤️

@earthling-isa babe you are so cute with your lil edits and your clowning. the near constant black and white aesthetic is very iconic and i love it. you’re a suus stan so I have no choice but to love you for it. i absolutely adore your gifs, especially the ones with the lil squares in the middle fygzbgut. you are absolutely beautiful and incredible and kind and I love you MWAHHHH🖤💙

@grey-mist-exist okay we’ve never talked but you seem like such a rad person. not cool but like rad (there are are subtle differences) your art is beautiful even tho idk the quotes (go off smarty pants) and overall you are just really rad, idk how else to say it mwah!!!🤍🖤<pretend it’s a grey heart

@fatoudixon hey look it’s one of the most talented people here!!! You’ve always been so kind and supportive of me and I really really do appreciate it. you have good opinions on everything and did I mention that you’re talented?? cause you are, very. Your reaction videos are amazing and not to mention iconic, just like your hair. anyway, ily and I am so glad that I have somebody as amazing as you as my mutual💙💛

@sander-klaas you are so kind and and you have so much passion. I can always trust you reblog only the best of wtfock and sobbe content which I am very grateful for. you literally just started making gifs and they are so beautiful (okay it was like months ago but whatever dkdjdjjdjdj) anyway, thank you so much for being my mutual mwah❤️💛

@jusdekiwi okay we’ve never talked but you genuinely seem like such a sweet person??? I love the stuff you reblog, it’s always the best gif sets. idk I can just tell you have good taste. I hope to get to know you better in the future, but for now I am very grateful to have you💚💙

@kritiquer my twin!!! you and I have a lot in common so ofc I love you. I’m joking obviously.... anygays you are always so supportive of everybody and you are so sweet. I love all of your personal posts, it always makes me really happy to see what you’re up to and how you’re feeling. I also like the aesthetic stuff you reblog, I have bad taste in all that, clearly you don’t. I am so glad that we started talking and I hope that we continue! ily kit!!!!💜🤍

@bleachblondebitches you aren’t on here that much, but whenever you are I get so happy! Your gifs are beautiful and I think about your sobbe and booksmart parallels gifset every day. you have amazing taste in movies and I love you!💜💙

@lesbeanfatou clara!!! bitch!!!! You already know how much I love you but I guess I’ll reiterate. I honestly don’t know what I did before I knew you. I always remember looking at the no idea blog with the Nora icons like “who is this?” Little did I know back then that you would be one of my closest friends. your support of me means the world and I am so grateful for you. I’m so glad that I have somebody in my life like you to talk to and be friends with. you are one of the funniest people in and I just love you so much I could burst mwah❤️🧡

@gucciboner okay hiii ypu are literally so fucking kind and funny, i admire your sense of humor sm. your art is so beautiful and you are so goddamn talented, it never ceases to amaze me. I also love all the little funny posts you make and reblog!! ily💙💗

@helmtaryn even though you put supernatural on my dash, I am willing to forgive you bc I love you so much. your gifs are so beautiful like ma’am didn’t you just start?? icon shit. your hate for photoshop is iconic and you are awesome. you’re always sending me asks and responding to my posts and you’re so nice and it makes my heart go whooosh. anygays you’re cool and ily💙🧡

@starmansander nina when I tell you that you give off the best vibes- okay sorry I had to start with that. I love how you are so nice and supportive of me, it really means a lot. I really like the stuff you reblog like,,, cool art? pretty women? those hopeful little posts? iconic. also youre a noor stan which is a sign of good taste. love you🤎❤️

@ijzermanora daniiiiiii madam you are so epic and iconic and I really could go on about that forever. you are so kind and you’re following all my joke sideblogs (even the ch*cken l*ttle hate blog??? why???) which is very brave of you. I love reading all of your lil wholesome posts and hearing about school and how much you hate chemistry (even tho you like sushi???) anygays we were already sending memes 10 hours into our mutualship so I think we were soulmates from the very beginning. I love you so much and I have no idea what I did before i knew you💜💗

@alwaysin-myhead okay, you give off cool person vibes and I had to acknowledge that. your art is so beautiful and you are so incredibly talented!!! I hope to get to know you in the future🧡💛

@alexiaugustin here she is!!! the queen of good opinions!!! you are such a smart cookie and you use that power to make long paragraph posts that I can actually read without falling asleep. which is impressive honestly. never has a person been so kind and funny and genius in such a well rounded way (that makes no sense) I’m so happy that I have you in my life ilyyy💚💗

@ijntba hihi you’re such a sweet person and I literally love your skam blog sm. I am so honored that you’re using one of my icons you have no idea. even though I’m confused when you post about anime, I still appreciate your passion lmao. mwah💛🧡

@hidden-joy liz!! you are such a kind soul and I absolutely love looking at the things you reblog and reading all the nice things that you put in the tags, it’s always so sweet and supportive!!! we’re relatively new mutuals, but I do hope to get to know you better in the future!!!💚💛

okay sorry to group y’all together but @fudgetunblr and @alexiswoke I like just became mutuals with y’all but I do love you and I’m glad you’re here and I hope 2021 treats you well and that i get to know you better!!❤️❤️

aaand one last final message for max and sarah, i know yall wont see this but ily🧡 💜

okay yeah I know I already said this but I really do love each and every one of you so much and I am so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life💕💕💓💕💖💖💕💘💕💗💞💓💕💖💖💘💕💓

[alittle-annihilation]

so i found my xanga (technically the back up now on wordpress, rest in peace xanga dot com) where i blogged/journaled from freshman year of high school to freshman year of college and just

wow

i wasnt sure if it was a good idea at first, especially considering the increasing frequency of flashbacks of the past and general terribly depressed mood as of late. but i was clearly feeling nostalgic as i was on xanga and then read every single entry.

it was heartwrenching watching it play out. but it also did not hurt as bad as i thought it would. my chest is tight and throbbing and i was holding it at one point, but i did not break down into a million pieces which i was almost certain for.

no instead it was like reading an old book where you know how it plays out, the main plot points you recall but not every single detail, but to see it relayed back to me through my voice from a decade ago. a reminder of exactly what was said and done.

whats been off putting about the flashbacks was how it was filling in pieces of my lost memories. and now reading this was an even bigger filler.

you can see where the entries go from things im up to - grades and teen spats and crushes and gossip - then suddenly every post is about hell. i still feel so bad for that version of me. you can see them breaking. the realization - but I feel as if hiding it will screw me over one day, and I’ll end up fucked up pretty badly in the future - the shift into loneliness, the growth of self loathing: the crumbling. all from the back and forth we're going we're staying we're leaving we're moving we're not budging we're separated we're together we're angry we're moving back we're divorced

it also chronicles my getting kicked out of high school, which has been weighing me down lately considering national political climate. you can see just how confused i was, just how baffled, and just how bullshit their entire argument was. with the perspective now... yeah that was fucked up.

i still wish i could have told my side and defended myself. but even now i still let the opportunities pass by.

it didn't hurt to the degree i thought i would, but i don't feel much lighter having read it. it's just facts of the past now i suppose. blogging about it felt approp

god that shit was fucked up but i have come a long way in the last 10+ years, even when there are some periods that don't feel like it.

other observations:

i both fully knew and also forgot just how obsessed i was with this basic ass white dude early on. yes i am cringing

every mention of tierra goes on to talk about how non-judgemental she is, which is how every single mention of tierra goes when i journal now. some things never change, and i am continually blessed to have her in my life.

at one point i refer to "Ms. Free Prom Dress Back Stabber with a Printer showed up with an ugly ass boyfriend and even uglier free prom dress" skfdjlafjkdsaljl OK YOUNGER ME WITH THE QUIPS. but also fuck her.

once i got on tumblr i started to cross post but i also was vague blogging so my posts literally go from naming everyone and their mother to evading an actual coherent topic that present jem is only semi picking up on

i was waaaaaaaaaaay more openly cocky and self inflating when i was a teen lmao "of course i won, i'm the more liked person of the two." screaming present me could never say that aloud

[favoniuscodex]

tag game responses

i realize i forgot to respond to a lot of these !! so i figured i would just do it in an individual post and because im scared to tag other ppl

hi besties who tagged me i am so so sorry for the late responses on this stuff

first tag game:

i was tagged by @genshin-ficpact and @test-tube to use the drink-making picrew to make a drink that looks like my blog theme! this one was hard to do with a monochrome theme, so it’s a bit darker than the actual one ;;;;

second tag game:

i was tagged by @childe-simp-exe @dandelion-dreams and @thedandelion-writer to describe my genshin team as badly as possible:

main dps: wannabe cat girl who yells at you when you stand still for too long

sub dps: wallet

support: la signora’s punching bag

moral support: overworked girl who just needs a nap (mondstadt edition) or the reason the anti-royce squad exists. they’re interchangable.

third tag game:

hehe this was a give a question/get a question one, in which @wangshengs tagged me !!! however, i am selfish, so i will only take the question and not tag anyone in return ADJSJKDASKDNJAS

q:  if you met your ult fave irl what would you do? personally if i met zhongli irl id run the fuck away if gods here shits coming lmao a: i would ask him (diluc) to pay for my college tuition. i KNOW he has the money and i got a lot of debt. then, of course, i would ask for his hand in marriage. :`))))

fourth tag game:

@dandelion-dreams​ tagged me in this one!

3 ships: diluc and kae- NAH im just fuckin around, my actual 3 ships are uh xiaoven, uhhh madoka/homura is pretty cool if u do it in like a non creepy way, and uhhh i actually really like hori/miyamura in horimiya ;;; wish we saw more of them in the second half of the season.

last song: supermassive black hole by muse iykyk that video has ruined me

last movie: fuck ??? uh,,, i think it was some horror movie i cant remember the name of? i rarely watch movies anymore, it’s just tv shows typically

currently watching: madoka magica rewatch, wonder egg priority, jjk, horimiya

currently reading: not currently reading anything but i’m planning on reading the song of achilles soon YEAH I KNOW

currently craving: aaa i just ate dinner but hm... strawberry ice cream ;;;

this is everything within the last 2 weeks??? sorry if i missed anyone and thank u to all the cuties who tagged me in stuff <333 i promise i see it, i’m just awful at remembering to respond to things

[hardskz]

important??? please read???

hi fellas i’m back a day earlier than initially planned bc my dumb ass forgot that i had to update something on my sideblog so might as well address a few things on main again ahahaha but anyhow im gonna keep it short for those who don’t wanna bother reading the longwinded elaboration 

TLDR; I UPDATED THE NAVIGATION POST AND DROPPED THE DOM TAKEOVER CONCEPT SO YEAH HI PLS RESPECT THAT AND UH PLS IF YOU TALK SKZ NSFW DISCOURSE W ME PLEASE BE 16+ K THX BUT ANYHOW SKIM THRU THE LAST 2 SECTIONS REGARDLESS PLEASE

bc i dont wanna make this pinned post too long and spam the dash, if u wanna know more details abt why i dropped the dom thingy and see what i do still accept to a certain degree (and a wip or 2), feel free to look under the cut!

also uh sorry i dont think i’ll be able to drop a fic on my bday bc it’s a massive thing i’m intending to finish and i might branch out and maybe start writing fics with actual plot and little to no porn so yeah just a warning

okay so. the dom takeover thing. i dont even know how on earth it escalated to that extent and tbh, i was overwhelmed for 3 days straight which led me to setting the boundaries. but now after clearing my head completely, i realized that looking back it it really is fucking embarrassing to me that i was having a meltdown and showing my vulnerabilities to this extent. also, it was borderline a pain to my eyes when i reread those asks. i like the concept, it’s fun, but it leaves a bitter aftertaste behind which is why im taking it off completely. so yeah ahahah sorry about that

however, that doesn’t mean you have to cease all interaction that directly addresses me. teasing for fun is fine but yeah if i sense that an ask is going to spiral out into something beyond playful teasing i wont respond

alternatively, discord is always there lmao im available there for casual talks too!! yeah that’s pretty much my stance on the entire thing bc y’know, in the end this i’m a one woman army running this blog and need to feel safe in this too <3

to clarify, nobody pushed me to make this decision. i sat down and pondered about it for a few days alright. i know what i’m doing in this situation.

[faemytho]

Hi! I haven't looked much at utmv based aus at this point, but I do have a *loose* idea of who rouge is, and I've seen some of their works floating around. Some of the stuff I've seen has given me off vibes, but I haven't seen enough to know what's going on and I don't know much about their stuff or who they are. If you don't mind telling me, what exactly did they do/make that's bad? If this qualifies as an irrelevant ask, I apologize-

mentions of rape, incest, pedophilia, suicide, bestiality, ect. ahead - these topics are mentioned due to being romanticized in fiction and in poor taste to a literal shitton of minors.

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anyways, no worries! i dont mind explaining, but this is a topic i feel kinda. very strongly about, so, forewarning, im not gonna sugarcoat anything, and its probably gonna end up being a huge ramble

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rouge kinda sucked. i mean, yeah sure she was a cool person, cool adult, i recall she told off a bunch of her fans for attacking someone else who was self shipping with paperjam over shipping freshpaper, but a lot of what she did in her storytelling and how she told her stories was HIGHLY shitty.

in early fandom days, (i dont know about now since i havent been following her stuff), rouge was damn popular, like, i remember fifty thousand+ people following her at one point. she was really into sanscest - and so were a lot of the younger people in this fandom, the 13-14-15 year olds. i was 15 myself when i followed her. she had a very distinctive, anime-esque sort of style, which was very attractive to younger people, u know?

rouge posted uncensored, untagged ns-fw content on her blog, but thats not even the worst of what she did, so let me get to that - gotta do some explaining.

rouge liked sanscest, and the ships she liked and favored most of all were errink, poth, and freshpaper. which like, cool, like what you like, i dont care, but in the context of what she did, this is kinda important.

(if you're not sure, freshpaper is the ship between fresh and paperjam, a combination character turned shipkid of error and ink by @/7goodangel, (who isn't actually bad, we love angel), but thanks to rouge, a lot of people see and treat paperjam like a young child. he's canonically 21, while rouge tended to treat/characterize/age him down to like 14-15.)

(the sin of poth is somewhat forgivable, since not a lot of people realize that goth (afterdeath shipkid, and a young immortal) is 21, and palette (dream/ink shipkid) is 12. yeah you read that right. nekophy, goth's creator, and the person who created palette who's name i forgot, didn't ever reveal their creations ages until people were already shipping them. when asked, the answers given were.,,, so different than what the fandom expected. i dont think either of them coordinated that fhsjgidk)

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rouge came up with a ton of stories, a ton of AUs on a multiversal scale, that featured errink, poth, and freshpaper. a lot of the settings of her stories, while extremely interesting and having a ton of potential if done correctly, were literally only made for shipping. (i know, that's bad. when you're world building, don't just focus on the ships,, come on. thats not what i'm getting at tho lmao)

she made, iirc, NAJ ("Nerd And Jock"), VampireVerse, LJH ("Little Jammy Hood"), PJ's daycare, Jammy's Love, and i think there was another, but i cant recall it if there was.

in my opinion, the worst of these was her NAJ au, which was set in "high school". she's passed it off to someone else, but before she did that, she created a lot of content for it.

the main focus of the NAJ au, unsurprisingly, was freshpaper, but surprisingly with a flipped dynamic from how she usually did freshpaper - fresh being the "uncool nerd", paperjam being the "cool, sexy suave jock". (the sub and dom, if you will, though i despise those terms being used in the context of shipping. those,,,, are b/d/s/m, sexual terms,,,). there were a ton of side characters in this au, and of course, errink were there as teachers in a relationship.

poth were there as,,,, im not even sure if they were students or teachers or faculty, but goth was the librarian and palette was the cheer squad leader or something. anyways, goth ended up raping palette due to "repressed romantic feelings towards him". palette was all unforgiving until goth tried to commit suicide, and then proceeded to say that goth raping him was okay because "i liked it anyways". yeah. uh. they ended up dating after that.

there was also an extremely problematic character who's main goal was, and i quote, "to fuck everyone in the school". one of the characters this character fucked also made an AIDs joke in reference to this in extremely poor taste. unrelated to this character, there was also a single ace character who was repeatedly sexualized by their romantic interest (AND by rouge's followers and askers).

i feel like NAJ only existed so rouge could make p*rn of it - censoring some words bc i dont want dear ol tumblr to fuck my post up. like, okay yeah, fiction is fiction, but rouge's audience was largely minors in their early teens, and she made a lot of art in this AU that sexualized these minors.

the sins of PJ's daycare and Little Jammy Hood weren't as bad as NAJ, but they were just,,, creepy.

the premise of PJ's daycare was largely that an adult Paperjam (20s, i think 25) ran a daycare for 1-6 year olds with the help of young teenagers (12-13, 15-16) goth, palette, bluescreen, and gradient. goth also tried to commit suicide in this one after believing palette rejected his advancements - no rape occurred here, i think palette just didn't respond after goth confessed romantic feelings for him.

the kids in PJ's daycare included a young error, ink, fresh, lust, fell sans, and swap sans. lust's attitude, demeanor, and personality had not changed, despite him being 3 years old, so we have a sexually provocative 3-year-old in this au! fun.

fresh, i believe was either 3, 4, or 5, and was constantly hitting on/flirting with the adult Paperjam, and even stalked him outside the daycare - i dont even remember what happened when fresh found out paperjam was romantically involved with someone else, but i dont remember it being pretty.

bluescreen (an errorberry combination character by @/7goodangel and @/askinfresh), and gradient (an errink combination character by @/askcomboclub) were transformed by rouge into shipkids of their respective combos. which made them half brothers. who were then shipped together.

look, again, i dont care what you ship as long as you are treating it correctly and not shoving it in other people's faces, incest or otherwise, but as a result of this, a ton of minors in this fandom are now desensitized to these sorts of ships.

it's not that shipping it was a problem on rouge's part, it's that she romanticized it. like she romanticized NAJ's rape scene and the aftereffects of it? that's what im talking about. (for the record, incest ships make me HIGHLY uncomfortable, but honestly, i dont care if you ship it, just do it away from me, you know?)

Little Jammy Hood wasn't as bad, but it,,, did have several sexual assault scenes, and it did involve bestiality with a young Paperjam and a wolf Fresh, uh, "in heat". uh. yeah. there was also a sexual assault scene initiated by the wolf version of this au's swap sans with the fresh wolf as well.

Jammy's love involved paperfresh a 15 year old Paperjam, and his adult (20s) uncle Fresh, Error's brother. im not gonna go into it much, but uh. yeah there was p*rn in this too.

ACTUALLY I JUST REMEMBERED, in Jammy's love, there was even a scene where fresh and paperjam were out in public being romantic?? and all the bystanders looked at them and started like?? calling fresh a pedophile (because he WAS in this au, dating rouge's 15 year old paperjam), and like??? fresh started crying over it, and paperjam told off all these people for "being bad people" and god it was just a mess of manipulation and pedophilia passed off as romantic

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vampireverse, which is the idea of hers that i kinda snatched and made my own, wasn't nearly as bad as the rest. the main focus was errink, but there was also a side of freshpaper as well. error (a vampire named fallacy) ended up kidnapping ink (uh,,, a,, french,, artist? named encre) and invoking stockholm syndrome in him, which isn't a bad trope but like. it was so highly romanticized, it kinda sucked.

the freshpaper wasn't actually that bad, compared to everything else. the worst thing i can remember happening is paperjam (also a vampire, error's son but not ink's, named jasper) trying to get fresh (some peasant servant of error's, named suave) drunk so he could fuck him with no consent on fresh's part.

rouge stopped making content for it after a while.

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to be clear, i dont consider anything she shipped condemnable. i dont care what anyone ships, i dont really care, because its fiction and its not real. romanticizing all of these things, though? to a bunch of minors and people who have no idea how to navigate the world yet?

when you romanticize these concepts, you leave the impression on your audience (ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE 13-15 YR OLD MINORS) that rape is okay, that incest is okay, that pedophilia is okay, that suicide is okay, that bestiality is okay - and it's not, not in real life, and the stories with these concepts should reflect that. most young people, usually young but a ton of older people as well, don't know how to make the distinction between the fictional head space and reality. i didnt either, not until i was seventeen!!

i honestly believe that rouge's stories had potential to be dark, to be sick, and to revel in it, like darkfiction stuff which is hella fun to explore, not gonna lie. darkfiction is good, it's a fun place to explore these sorts of concepts without hurting real people, but she romanticized all of it to her young, impressionable audience, and that's when it went sour. that's when it became not okay.

rouge isn't necessarily a bad person, but she had literally no idea what she was doing and ended up creating a lot of bad shit and impressing that on a shitton of minors/people who logically wouldn't have known better.

[spaedia]

PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO READ.

alrighty dudes, dudettes, and everything in between. this is the last post i intend to ever make on tumblr, so listen up. in regards to the bullshit “callout” posted the other day:

CALLOUT, I GUESS, FOR DEVIL AND CO, BUT MOSTLY DEVIL BC LET’S FACE IT, WITHOUT THE SCREENSHOTS YOU PROVIDED, YOUR ARGUMENT FOR WHY WART IS A BAD PERSON IS “HE DAMAGED MY EGO OWO”. YOU SAID THIS WASN’T YOUR PROBLEM? WELL I’M MAKING IT YOUR PROBLEM, ASSHAT.

so let’s start w/ the screenshots in question. i haven’t read the callout, so idk what was used, but considering i had upwards of 5 people come to me and ask me if i was okay, i can take a guess. let the record show that all of the messages i sent to dev and norgie regarding wart was in the midst of our breakup, which was messy enough as is. when wart and i first broke up, i had dev and co blocked bc of personal reasons. devil then decided to HUNT DOWN ONE OF MY BLOGS and follow me (after i assume staking it out, bc he’s known for stalking people). i confronted him, and he gave me some shtick about how he’ll “always care about me” and i’m “still his little sister”, blah blah blah other manipulative bullcrap. against my better judgement, i let him back in.

wart was my first boyfriend. i adored him with everything i had, so naturally, this breakup left me in a bad emotional state. devil and norgie took COMPLETE ADVANTAGE OF THIS, and when i told them what happened between wart and i, immediately began twisting it to make wart out to be the bad guy. it was norgie who originally suggested that i had been emotionally abused, and in my vulnerable state, i began to see things that way. 

not that it’s anyone’s business, but if you wanna know how the breakup went, it was something like this: wart’s mental state was deteriorating, i suggested maybe we take a break, immediately went back on that statement, wart broke things off the next morning. there was no emotional abuse, no threatening of suicide, no physical violence - it was a breakup. things didn’t work out. it happens. but of course, this didn’t fit dev and co’s narrative, so they needed to get me to admit things were much worse than they were. when i later came to my senses and realized this was all bullshit, devil and norgie then decided to GUILT TRIP ME by pointing out how they spent “two hours” on call with me while i cried. after i had just had my heart broken. no shit i was upset. newsflash: wart spent a lot longer with me on call while i was breaking down. hell, he broke up with me and still let me cry on his shoulder. and unlike dev and norgie, he never once acted like i owed him, because that’s what friends do. but hey, go on and talk about how wart’s the abusive one.

devil has spent years abusing my trust. every time i tell him i don’t want so speak with him, he comes back awhile later with some new apology and reasoning for his behavior. and like most toxic relationships, it was hard to let him ago, especially after losing the person i cared most about. he blatantly took advantage of my situation to fuel his vendetta. the only reason i told him anything was because he promised me he wouldn’t make a post unless wart “stepped out of line” (which, looking back, is a huge red flag: what gives him the right to police other people?). and had i not begun to confront him about all the bullshit he made me say, he probably would have held off. in fact, he told me that one of the “main reasons” he felt this “needed to come out” was because i was starting to defend wart. when i realized that dev was serious about making this callout, i told him i wanted no part of it. he asked me for screenshots of some of my and wart’s conversations, to which i gave him a hard no. did that stop him from using our personal messages in his sorry excuse for a callout? of course not. these are the type of people who don’t care about anyone except themselves, dev has made that perfectly clear. MY PRIVACY AND AN INNOCENT MAN’S WELL BEING MEANT NOTHING TO HIM. all he and his friends cared about was spurring along their vendetta. and honestly, if i was wart, i would have sued y’all for harassment and defamation of character ages ago.

with the matter of those messages out of the way, let’s move on to dev’s actual claims. this is where the defamation gets real, because he had the nerve to call wart a predator. seriously? what, because he dated someone a few years younger than him?

dev loves to throw the word pedo.phile around, despite the fact that he obviously doesn’t know what it means. pedo.philia “is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children”. i started puberty when i was twelve, and wart and i didn’t even meet until i was fifteen. so immediately, he doesn’t fit the bill for a pedo.phile. #sorrynotsorry.

but let’s work around that. let’s say, that because he was romantically attracted to me, that automatically makes him a pedo.phile. i’m going to remind everyone of something devil would love to leave buried: the fact that, when i was thirteen, and again at fourteen, devil tried to coerce me into writing smut with him, along with a sixteen year old girl. he used my trust of him to assure me that it would be fine. his excuse? “my (ex)girlfriend made me do it.” cause that’s a solid argument alright. so fine, label wart a pedo.phile. i sure hope dev’s planning on giving himself the same label, because what he did is a lot worse lmao.

i don’t have screenshots from dev and my conversations, i think he deleted that account, but here’s him w/ the other girl.

so yeah long story short: dev knew this girl was underage, still tried to smut with her. take my word that he tried with me, i guess. i don’t think he’s ever denied it.

now, admittedly, i didn’t need to bring this up, but according to devil it’s important that predators get called out, so...he brought this on himself.

now i’m going to tell y’all the story of how wart and i started dating, because it really puts a hole in this “predator” story. see, for wart to be a predator, he would have had to target me in some way (come to think of it, much like devil did to me). when wart and i got together, dev and i weren’t talking, and i never got around to telling him how this happened, only that it did. (if i did tell him, i forgot about it, and that makes it even worse bc he knows this already lmao.) 

it was may sixth. i was fifteen, wart was nineteen. we had been talking for awhile, and sometime in the past week or so, i had talked to my mom about liking this guy who was older than me. she told me about her own relationships with older guys when she was my age, and that so long as he didn’t try anything, she was fine with it. so on that spring day, i confessed my feelings to wart. and y’know the first thing he said to me? “wait a few years.” a logical statement, one i probably should have taken to heart, but i was a fool in love, so i didn’t. i spent the next hour or so convincing wart to go out with me, and he eventually pitied me enough (he’d admit to something along those lines not long after) to agree. neither of us expected this to become an actual relationship, but hey, a year and a half’s not a bad run.

to make a long story short: i asked wart out, not the other way around. i begged him to date me, not the other way around. and this wasn’t some secret relationship. my parents knew from the beginning, and gave it the okay.

i think i addressed everything in that lameass “callout”, but because dev’s The Worst, i know he’s going to pull at threads to try and get his “predator” accusations to stick. i’m going to post this, and devil will immediately reply “but wait!! he is a predator: you said you two slept together!!” and then post the message where i said exactly that, added some details to make it realistic, whatever, but then fail to post the message a few days later where i told him IT WAS A HALF-BAKED STORY.

see, after wart and i broke up, i heard rumors that he and i had been sleeping together when he was up here. i’m gonna shoot those rumors down right now. a) i’m asexual and sex repulsed. i wouldn’t sleep with someone if they paid me. devil and norgie know this, but they chose to ignore it in favor of a juicy story. b) the story i gave them was incredibly inconsistent. to the point where even devil pointed out my inconsistencies, but then conveniently forgot that ever happened, then, when i told him it was bullshit, TRIED TO INSIST IT WAS TRUE. as if he knows better than i do what happened lmao. c) wart and i were never alone for more than a few minutes. my bedroom walls aren’t exactly soundproof. my bed frame is metal, it squeaks whenever i sit on it. so yeah, obviously we got away with having sex. dumbass.

now, when i heard these rumors, i decided to roll with them. what did i have to lose, right? so yeah, i spiced it up, gave devil and norgie some random details to make it realistic, and told them not to tell anyone (which as far as i know, they haven’t, so thanks for not spreading rumors i guess). when devil brought it up to me during his rant about how this callout “needed to happen”, i pretty much laughed in his face and told him it never happened. and then he tried insisting it did and i rolled my eyes so hard i think i gave myself a headache. 

tl;dr: someone started rumors that wart and i slept together, i confirmed them for shits and giggles, but no, it never happened, for all the reasons stated above.

oh, and as for dev’s reason for this vendetta? he’s told wart that it was because he (wart) wrote a character that dev wanted to write. i’m still convinced it’s over a fragile ego. either way, Real Mature, dude.

NOW i think i covered anything. phew, that’s a doozy. as i said, this is the last post i intend to ever make on this hellsite, but i encourage everyone who sees this to reblog it so that we can clear a (mostly) innocent man’s name. did wart hurt me? yes. was it enough to warrant this abuse?? not in the slightest.

my discord is still on my blog if anyone wants it (unless you’re friends with devil, norgie, kirby, or anyone else involved in this. if that’s the case, i’ll see you in hell). as for my legacy on this hellsite, let it be known that i tried to fight the good fight. i hope it’s good enough.

el psy kongroo.