#just venting to the void

[lady-guts]

trying to write angsty smut in text message format... not my best idea yet, to be honest

[leafs-lover]

Designing a wedding website has been my least favourite part of this entire process.

[rubber-duck-of-doom]

I lost something today. They were a friend for many years but it wasn't a good friendship. Well it was for a bit but as everyone around them grew as a person they didn't and thought it was a good thing.

I lost a friend today its good they're gone but I feel bad about it. I know I shouldn't I was the one who ended it and I'm glad I don't have to deal with them anymore. But.

I lost a friend today

[pain-is-my-game]

It's terrible knowing that if I ever show sadness or show anything emotion that's not positive towards anything whether it's my fault or not I'll either get blamed for it or told that my emotions are irrational.

[mxtxfanatic]

The curse of being in the fandom of a popular media and watching as “serious” metas that you know are based off fanon memes go viral is to know pain.

[yourchemicallyimbalancedromance]

Having imposter syndrome as a writer is a bitch

“What if I release this and I don’t get the reaction I was hoping for?”

“What if it’s not good enough?”

What if what if what if like omg I’m gonna lose my mind

This is one thing I really didn’t miss about writing tbh

But yeah this is why I haven’t released anything in almost a month lol, but im pushing through and still working on things despite all of the negativity my brain likes to throw my way sooooo 👍🏻

[solarpunkani]

this is a personal vent but its a somewhat anti-capitalist/anti-grind culture vent so its going here but like

I wish I could have one (1) hobby that just stays a hobby and remains a fun lil heehee hobby without one or both parents desperately trying to get me to monetize it.

Like I am JUST learning crochet. I have been crocheting for less than a MONTH. I have ONE finished project. And my mom is ALREADY sending me lil instagram reels like 'heehee this is how much I made from my ~crocheting business~ in the month of October' and sending me a bunch of eyes emojis and dollarsign eyes emojis like, first off my beloved mother that woman has been crocheting for YEARS maybe even DECADES and I just picked it up three tuesdays ago, but second of all I don't necessarily wanna just make a buncha shit and then sell it online!!! I wanna make stuff for me and maybe friends and family if they ask really nicely, but nooooo now mom wants me to Perfect the Craft so I can sell on etsy and instagram and whatever.

This would be a Mild Annoyance if this wasn't simply the first in a long string of 'what if you monetized this hobby.' Which, granted, sometimes I do it to myself, but I'm really trying to stop.

Oh you like gardening? What if you monetized it! Sell vegetables at the farmers market! Sell cut flowers at the farmers market! Start your own small business! What do you mean, you mostly do it for personal enjoyment and environmental reasons? Just grow a bigass plot of zinnias, forget about your other stuff, and sell sell sell!!!

Oh, you like creative writing? You like writing novels and short stories and fanfics?? Go be a copywriter! Go be an adjunct professor, because you're totally qualified! What? You don't wanna write manuals and advertisements? But you're such a good writer, go make money off of it!

Oh you wanna learn sewing?! Learn sewing!! Quickly!! Not for your own personal enjoyment of the craft, I'm gonna start a business selling bags and YOU"RE gonna help me!!! I'm not asking permission btw this is me telling you--

Don't even get me started on the absolute slog that has been trying to become an animator and selling art commissions because I like drawing and animating and how that's been going for me, or the fact that my mom seems to think Masters Degree in Animation = Qualified Graphic Designer, which is not the same thing.

It's just exhausting. I would like to be allowed to have one hobby that doesn't immediately read as dollar signs in my parents eyes, yknow?

anyways capitalism grind culture is a hell scape thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[divine-misfortune]

The feminine urge to cut everyone off to exist in the loneliness I feel I deserve

[gobblewanker]

AI is making me so fucking sad and angry and hopeless feeling, my best coping method has been completely devalued and stolen from me and I want to punch someone. I feel like this will be the start of another huge downward spiral for humanity, because who'll bother to create when computers can "create" for you with a fraction of the time and effort? But AI can't create, only recycle, and when we stop creating it'll run out of things to recycle and that's where all of us will stagnate.

I have drawn maybe two sketches in a month, I used to draw daily and make fully rendered shit, but it's like all my passion has been sucked out of me and I have absolutely no desire to create anymore because creating seems worthless.

[ailithnight]

My computer started doing this thing in the last 24 hours where it just randomly restarts every 10-20 minutes (IDK, I haven't timed it, but it's frustratingly frequent)

EXCEPT

Except not when I'm playing Hollow Knight (the only game I've been playing this weekend so IDK if it would be fine with other games). I can have Hollow Knight running for several hours and it's all chill. But as soon as I shut it down to watch something or dick around on Tumblr? Random restart.

The only thing I can think might be causing it is something to do with a random BIOS update my computer forced (didn't even give me a message, just restarted and forced the update all of a sudden at 4am) 2 days ago.

I don't know what's happening. I don't know how to fix it. All I do know is that it's giving me an increasing urge to punch my screen. Which I obviously won't actually do to my $3000 gaming computer I got in July. But by god do I want to.

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

Also I quit my job of what would in about a month or two have been 10 years, and perhaps now I will get to actually be a human being again.

[actual-changeling]

i could, y'know.

i could go 'home' and i could lie to my mother and she would lie to me, and we'd play our roles like we always have. we do not talk about our childhoods. we do not talk about him. we do not talk about anything that matters. she doesn't ask me questions about my life anyway, she doesn't care.

i could go and perform and then go back to my flat and nothing will have changed. i really could, if i had to i'd be able to do it flawlessly.

but i don't want to. i won't be like her. i won't just sit in silence, not anymore. she won't understand a single thing i would have to tell her, and in the off chance she does, she'd immediately start guilt tripping me and oh, i am your poor poor mother, you had a great childhood you were always happy.

i know her routines, i had to.

i don't want to because i am so, so tired of it all, and opening pandora's box would only make things worse, but at least something would CHANGE.

[void-thevoid]

[finniestoncrane]

also your girl is struggling. i'm putting this under a read more i just need to GET IT OUT and then i'm going to get back to writing because i've managed to get so much done today which is a small win

we got therapy tonight. trying to figure out how to be like "ok so there's this character called the riddler you remember i brought him up before YEAH ok so he's autistic, but also annoying. much like me. so i relate. HOWEVER. he has robots though, like he has consistent relationships. i have crippling self-doubt, anxiety, and a churning feeling in my stomach that no one likes me and i'm better off isolated because at least when i don't speak to anyone i don't have to worry about annoying them or wondering if they like me or comparing my relationship with them to every other relationship they have like a completely and totally normally sane person" without sounding like the MOST pathetic bitch ever and truly encapsulating that sad riddler vibe??

maybe i'll dress properly? i think my batman crocs are not the Mentally Well vibe i'm trying to achieve

or maybe the batman crocs/riddler t-shirt combo is exactly what i need. comfort uniform. strength in the blorbo

[hel7l7]

I hope you’re alright