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#just wait till i read the wikipedia article
noodleincident · 2 months
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ok day 1 cowboy carter thoughts: enjoyed my immediate impression more than my immediate impression of renaissance but that's personal preference, they're at least equally good. wish it was more countryish (texas hold'em, 16 carriages, and daddy lessons 2016 are the most country she's gotten) but its very bey which is not a bad tradeoff at all. tbh not sold on the sonic purpose of the covers, i get the value of the features and the context* but she does very little different w the actual songs. they're sooo beautiful though it barely matters. ok the jolene thing is so funny i cant believe dolly parton called the og her little song. anyway bey's voice is so beautiful and sexy. miley feature is a truly incredible pairing, that rasp....whew. best miley song in literally years, from someone who just doesnt jive with her actual solo songs. fav song alas is still the post malone one but i think i'm just unfortunately wild for the male voice/female voice pairing despite hating the premise. promo insta posts got me like 😳. the collabs are truly insaaaane, this is one area that beyonce just crushes taylor (willie nelson??? dolly parton??? miley?? previously jack white???? ok the weeknd is a drag but the chicks make up for it) (taylor stop including ed sheeran challenge) (ok she's gotten better about it recently tbh). LOVE the cyclical thing, makes it such a vive to just have it on repeat. cant understand why anyone would want it to be shorter. anyway 10/10 5 stars she is forgiven for making me wait 6 years since lemonade for renaissance
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lastoneout · 3 months
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Hey @ my fellow bitches and besties who deal with a lot constipation/gas/bloating because of IBS or other digestive issues!!
Did you know there's a way to deal with it at home on your own without medication?? Because my doctor sure didn't fucking tell me about this!! But I just tried it because my gas always makes me SO fucking nauseous that I can barely function and it takes like an hour for my nausea and IBS meds to kick in, but I always feel the urge to rub my stomach when I'm bloated, so my Wikipedia boyfriend ass googled it and YEP MASSAGING IS BACKED UP BY SCIENCE.
The article does say to not do this if you have recently had abdominal surgery, but here's the method:
"To perform abdominal massage on yourself.
Lie flat on your back with your belly exposed.
Overlap your hands on your lower belly and hold them here as you focus on your breath.
Warm your hands by rubbing them together for about 30 seconds.
Apply any oils that you’re using.
Use the palm of your hand to massage your entire stomach in a clockwise direction several times.
Then massage the centerline of your abdomen, starting below your sternum and ending at your pubic bone.
Do three more lines an inch apart down the left side of the abdomen.
Do the same on the right side of the abdomen.
Then press your fingers into your navel firmly.
Continue massaging with gentle pressure and circle outward from your navel in a clockwise direction.
You can spend extra time on specific areas or trigger points that feel like they need some extra attention.
Do this for up to 20 minutes.
If you don’t feel comfortable massaging yourself, you can also have your abdomen massaged by a massage therapist. Call before you make your appointment to see if the therapist performs abdominal massage. Not all masseuses provide this service."
I also found a slightly different one from the University of Michigan!
"Massaging your stomach can help to move stool along the inside of your colon. It may help relieve symptoms of tightness, pressure, cramping, and bloating.
Start on the right side of your stomach down by the bone of your pelvis.
Rub in a circular motion lightly up to the right side till you reach your rib bones.
Move straight across to the left side.
Work your way down to the left to the hip bone and back up to the belly button for 2-3 minutes.
Rub with your fingertips in a circular motion. You may press a little deeper with your fingers.
Spend about 1 minute moving from the right hip bone to the right ribs then 1 minute across the middle (gently) and then 1 minute down to the left bone by your pelvis to the belly button.
Repeat rub, always in a clockwise motion, for 10 minutes."*
I was literally so nauseous from being bloated that I couldn't even swallow food without feeling like I was going to puke, but I did the second one just sitting up at my desk, clockwise like they both said(I'm assuming bcs that's the direction things travel through your gut) and within like 2 minutes I felt better. I cannot BELIEVE no one has ever recommended this. Fucking life-changing. I used to just sit there and drink sprite and hope it was over soon and now I don't have to do that!! And if people already know about this that's good but like, again, no one EVER told me about this so if this can help even ONE person who struggles like I do I'll consider it a win!
Also, for clarification, I'm not advocating ditching your meds obvs, I just know it takes a while for pills to kick in and I don't think people should have to be miserable while they wait when there's something easy you can do to get some quick relief.
(*I added more bullet points to the second method because the wall of text was a little hard to read.)
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stressedlawsecretary · 4 months
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Today's Focus
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01.26.24 - Friday has arrived again! The weather around here has turned mild and wet, and while I am planning on taking a shopping trip tomorrow, I am also planning on a nice quiet Friday at home. Writing, reading, watching things, doing self-care. That's the ultimate goal.
Work - Legitimately nothing I have to worry about. I got ahold of the defendant for JMK and got her complaint out for markup; she might have completed that but JMK isn't even in the office until next week so I can check that it looks good and save it on Monday. And that's literally it unless somebody asks me for something.
Background Noise - I start today with 107 on the Watch Later; I have to admit I'm proud to have gotten it down this far considering where I started at the beginning of the week. I am remote working again, so most of my background noise will be DVR stuff, but I've been chipping away at my YT videos and hope to do at least 7 or so today, and to make sure I do a couple every day over the weekend to at least keep myself even.
I mean I did 15 whole videos yesterday! The problem is they just keep getting uploaded lol.
Study - It is Wikipedia day, so I have my pages all set out, and I want to continue on my deep dives as well: Emmett Till, climate policy, Horizon IT scandal, and education policy. Plus anything else I find interesting.
Yesterday I did manage to read:
Five (5) articles on Emmett Till
21 articles on climate policy
A couple (2) articles on education policy
A chapter each of The 16th Round and A Short History of Paper Money and Banking
The introduction and several pages of the first chapter of The Age of Uncertainty
A few more pages of that Dolly Parton book you see in that photo up there.
Extras - I'm set on doing random chores throughout the house, along with writing in some of my notebooks, typing up some finished pieces from my notebooks, and I want to both watch another hour of Dekaranger and play some Switch games with hunny because my custom joycons he got me for a Christmas present showed up yesterday, and I can't wait to use them.
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measuringbliss · 10 months
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Spider-Man Read-Through 023: My Friend... My Foe? (ASM 134-137)
MASTERPOST
Those issues have everything...
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It's all been leading up to this event, folks. Don't worry: I always find a way to make things gay.
Just as last issue (GSSM 1), ASM #134 starts on a boat. It's holidays for Peter, Liz and MJ. Surely nothing can go wrong in those 8 hours! Oh, and Flash is also there, looking as pretty as ever. What about Harry? Oh, he has more important stuff to do :-)
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The Tarantula, one of my favorite villains if only for his great design, hijacks the boat with two of his companions.
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Underneath his brown jacket, Peter has a green shirt and blue pants that go wonderfully well together. Oh my, you think the shirt's color might be foreshadowing for later, just as Spidey fighting a similarly-patterned foe? Hmm!
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A civilian is saved, but Flash is starting to have a few theories, not regarding the suspiciously-absent Jackal or Harry's whereabouts, but rather about Spidey's identity...!
Spidey has no more webs and thus tries to be a good boy and get a cab, but New Yorkers are all acerbate and he ends up resorting to the traditional method. That's comedy we haven't seen before, nice!
So Spidey goes back to his apartment, and what had to happen, happens:
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*Did* Harry always suspect that Peter was Spidey? Hmm, I wonder.
Anyway, please note Harry and Peter's shirt is exactly the same color. Is Harry's underwear blue to complete the parallels?
The issue ends with a surprise entrance from the Punisher, surprise because Spidey's been incapacitated by the Tarantula.
In the reader's letters, Harry Daniels thinks the Jackal is actually Harry. I don't know about that one, chief. The team also says the Punisher "will be back soon"... a few pages before he actually appears, hahaha.
Time for issue #135!
The Punisher eventually recognizes Spidey is a good guy, but not before the Tarantula leaves. They plan a meeting, and then Spidey has to go.
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Flash has a lot of stuff to ask Spidey, but the latter escapes by water... and comes back as Peter.
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All's well that ends well.
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Well, almost. See, Harry has a hard time handling how handsome his roommate. Which, understandable. I will point out for all Parksborn shippers that Peter didn't just show his head, no, he pushed the curtain to show his whole body--his whole *naked* body. He's that comfortable with Harry. Now, if that doesn't scream physical intimacy, I don't know what will.
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Hide those muscled legs of yours, you slütt.
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Speaking of which, here's what Frank Castle wanted to show to our hero: smutty pictures of one Anton Miguel Rodriguez (misspelled as Rodriquez and then Rodriques on the same page). Turns out the Punisher wished to uphold a big tradition in male spaces: stag films.
What were stag films, you ask?
You should check the Wikipedia article about that, but basically, imagine tons of dudes watching e r o t i c movies together in a big room and cheering each other.
I particularly love this part:
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So yeah, that's pretty gay, and absolutely fascinating to my eyes. The big question I have, though, is whether there was a female equivalent. I couldn't find one, but I can't imagine that no woman in those times thought about making that kind of film too and/or sharing it to an all female-audience, probably much more discreetly than the above. It's a truly fascinating subject to me. Was this an excuse to infodump lore on you? Maybe. But I'm half-making that joke, because this scene between Spidey and the Punisher is still a bit gay. Yes, I see homosexuality (and or bisexuality) everywhere, you should know this by now.
I'm just saying, the Punisher didn't have to show such hot photos of a revolutionary. It was a choice. Everything is a choice.
They get rid of the Tarantula, all is well that ends well.
Oh wait.
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Ackchuallly, we're gonna have to wait till--next line! Life in 2023 isn't so bad after all.
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Time for the cover that made me buy the 1974 collection at the time!
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The issue opens with Peter and MJ on a date and I can't believe that I recognized (visually, not nominally) the place they are. Ross Andru, devs of Insomniac, y'all are incredible.
Also, MJ's outfit is really groovy, love it for her.
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Yes, MJ, objectify the fuck out of him!!!!! You go girl!!!!
In fact, she goes so hard that the door and the apartment inside explode.
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So Peter and Harry have been in this apartment from #47 to #136. Almost 90 issues!
Please note that Peter's wearing green all over his body.
MJ goes to the hospital, but she's fine. Peter, however, is worried and goes to one of the Goblin's old warehouse. Nothing seems suspicious, after all, everything's covered in dust...
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... except that Spidey taught a lot of us that something like that even existed. Smart thinking, tiger!
The wait is long, but eventually, he shows up.
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Peter is not amused by the discovery that Harry's been training for this confrontation, whereas he expected his foe to just be an average Joe. It's surprisingly easy to imagine Harry training at the gym and trying to avoid having... unnecessary feelings about his (former) best friend.
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Edgeworth knows aaaaall about those.
I think seeing Peter and Harry fight in SM3 fueled my taste in fiction, and those issues confirmed it.
During the fight, Harry rambles about how once Spidey (Peter, really) is dead, he'll finally be able to do his own thing, free to live his own life again, to seek his own glory. Ooh, the daddy issues...!
In the end, Harry escapes and Peter is very worried. He's also a dick to Betty, but who knows, maybe it's part of his master plan...
We start the last issue, #137, the best way possible (after a quick Goblin-related prologue):
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...with gorgeous colors!
Peter eventually returns to the hospital and...
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Oh! Those pants. There we are, I guess, huh! This is *the* era. Liz has a great outfit, Flash too, but the real champion here is naturally Robertson, whose suit I'm jealous of. By the way, Peter's not wearing green anymore--at all!
He quickly leaves though when MJ turns on the radio. Neither her or May are really sure what Peter's deal is, but oh well. After 3 years or so, you just get used to it.
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Two rows of comedy gold, two!!!
And eventually...
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Aaaah the colors, the colors of the first panel!!!!!!!!
What follows is a great dramatic idea.
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This is diabolical. This is excellent. Love it.
And while Harry calls Spidey "Peter" as he gloats, Spidey knocks Harry out... and calls him "Osborn".
Just as Spidey figures out who Harry targeted, his webbing runs off. It's a great obstacle! He uses last issue's McGuffin to get more of it.
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When I was a kid, I never understood why Harry had picked May when MJ seemed just as likely a choice. Of course, Flash really wasn't, his love for Spidey is pure adulation. But Harry's doing everything to avenge his father--his blood relative. He gives much more credit to blood than to more subtle relationships, and that's part of why he immediately distrusts Spidey and Peter instead of trying to reconcile his idea of Peter with what actually happened. It's all the more striking because the gang has been shown to support Harry at least as much as Norman, notably when he came back from rehab in #105.
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A page that I remembered very well. What a great issue. What a great set of issues. I wonder what's in store next for Harry! I hope he comes back soon.
In the readers' letters, the team says that they slowed down time (obviously) and ask the readers if they'd prefer Peter to finish university.
In the next batch, we get to 1975! Now, as you may recall, I've read a big part of it (the first Clone Saga), but it will be interesting to see maybe one or two new issues for me.
See you later, alligators!
Also, I think Peter gets a new roommate, but shhh...
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mckeedinesen73 · 2 years
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Christian Dior Ladies's Belts On The Market
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tatelauritzen62 · 2 years
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Queen Rania's Most Iconic Fashion Moments From 2021
This is the most important article you'll read in 2021 (note that "Hunger Games" got here out like 50 years in the past and referencing it is extremely cheugy). Besides all the humanitarian work, Queen Rania is known for all her timeless ensembles that are liked by royal followers from the globe over. Saint Laurent held this position till 1960, when he was drafted into the French military. Subsequent creative administrators on the House of Dior have included Marc Bohan, Gianfranco Ferré, and John Galliano. For an ultra-laid back look, there’s Isabel Marant’s Lonny belt, a wrap belt with an adjustable slip closure that’s simple to lightly cinch an in any other case roomy waist. UFO stands for Unidentified Fashion Object and is how royal bloggers discuss with pieces of which the designer is unknown. Our aim is to search out all those UFO pieces- making them UFO No More. The replica purse world is fraught with myths, vital high quality info, and extra that I can’t wait to share with you. That’s why I wrote up this fun, little information for my blog. The B23 bull sneaker is part of the capsule assortment in collaboration with Californian designer Sh.. If you’re a sucker for the plaid print, do this Burberry scarf instead. The colour adds a novel twist to the unique design. It makes it an announcement accessory, which helps your outfit rather than overpowers it. Maybe this was cool back in 2016, but now it’s time for these huge monogram belts to retire peacefully. Yes, your Hermes and Louis Vuitton Belts should also transfer to Florida and start golfing with its barely extra inexpensive Gucci sibling. Due to nationwide delivery volume, you may experience a delay. We are maintaining a detailed eye on all orders and will replace you if we anticipate a change. Each regional Luxury Lipstick sectors is carefully studied to grasp its current and future development eventualities. A second picture saw the singer sporting one other strapless design, this time by Fendi, which featured a colourful, patterned bodice and flowing practice. The Respect star oozed confidence on the duvet of W magazine's latest concern, rocking a white figure-hugging strapless gown by Dior and dripping in Bulgari diamonds. Jennifer highlighted her trim waist with an identical fabric belt and saved her make-up easy with a shiny lip, highlighted cheeks, and winged eyeliner. His skirts may have 40-meter-circumference hems, and outfits could weigh as a lot as 60 pounds. wikipedia belt They have been cut and shaped like architecture, on robust foundations that molded ladies and “freed them from nature,” Dior stated. Rather than rationing, his girls wanted reams of fabric and 19-inch waists enforced by wire corsets, and the fashion world concurred. This was the beginning of Dior’s rise within the city’s creative milieu, the place he befriended Pablo Picasso and Jean Cocteau. https://skel.io/replica-designer-belts/dior-belt-replica.html Just 5 years later, with the backing of industrialist Marcel Boussac, the ascendant Dior established his own style home, at 30 avenue Montaigne in Paris.
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bogkeep · 3 years
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hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately
so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on...  there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s  not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion’ when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !
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the-fixation-zone · 4 years
Text
a drink from hell
okay so i haven’t written fanfic in literal years (and even then, it was only one, unpublished) and my writing in general is rusty, but i saw this  answer by @hurricanezukka and i just. i had to write something. so here it is! it doesn’t follow the prompt exactly, the plot got a little away from me, and if i didn’t just write something i was going to take a billion years on it/not finish it at all so! anyway! the Work!
~5k words
“Your change is three dollars.” Zuko hands over the bills, trying not to wrinkle his nose as yet another person purchases his Uncle’s…concoction. The customer smiles and walks down to the end of the counter, awaiting what Zuko believes can only loosely be considered a drink. He sighs through his nose, turns, and begins crafting. A Thai tea with…boba. He tries not to gag as he finishes it and hands it over with its obnoxiously large straw. The customer’s eyes light up when she sees it, her “thank you!” almost lost in the loud popping of the drink’s seal. Zuko does not say you’re welcome. Instead, he tries to keep his eyes from rolling and goes back to the register. Another day, another delusional person. When Uncle Iroh had said he wanted to try something new in his tea shop, Zuko hadn’t questioned it. It was his shop, after all, and Zuko was only there because of his Uncle’s love. Uncle obviously knew how to run a business without outside influence. But when Uncle had shown him the little…black…balls he intended to put into the most finely brewed tea in the city, Zuko had nearly put his foot down.
“Uncle. What…what are those.”
“They are tapioca balls, nephew! Don’t they look delicious? It will add a bit of fun to drinking tea, if I say so myself!”
Right. Fun. As if drinking hot (or, in this case, cold) leaf juice needed to be a diverting activity. Zuko had said nothing and had dutifully tried one. And then he had just as dutifully spit it out when Uncle wasn’t looking. Honestly, what the fuck was he thinking?
So now Zuko stands behind the counter of the Jasmine Dragon and waits for people to come in and order the monstrosity, forcing him to relive his waking nightmare. Cold tea. And tapioca balls. It isn’t enough to make him rethink working here, but it’s damn close.
“Gooooood afternoon! I hear you guys have something called boba tea?”
Zuko’s eyes clench close reflexively before he remembers the customer service etiquette Iroh tried to drill in him. He opens his eyes and says, through clenched teeth, “Yes. We do. Only place in the city.”
“Wooooow.” The customer is flashing him a bright smile, one that takes Zuko off-guard for a moment. Sure, sometimes customer’s smile at him. It’s usually because they want something. A bit knocked off the price of their drink; to be able to use an expired coupon. But this customer doesn’t seem to want anything. Just the boba. “Is it good?”
Zuko raises his eyes from the smile to the man’s eyes, intending on telling him the honest truth, but he’s arrested by how bright blue they are. Zuko forgets how to form sentences. The customer’s tanned skin makes his eyes look even bluer, the little blue beads in the single braid that comes down into his face tying the whole package together. He has laugh lines.
“Uh—what?”
The customer’s smile falters, just a bit. “The boba? Is it good? I mean, my sister says it’s great, but who can trust a little sister’s taste?” He winks, bringing Zuko into the joke. Zuko thinks about Azula’s taste in, well, anything, and finds himself nodding along.
“Yeah. Yeah, I understand. Uh, a lot of people say it’s good. Like, uh, it’s ordered a lot? Instead of regular tea?” Zuko does not know why he’s asking his customer these statements, but Zuko also doesn’t know why he isn’t just telling him that the boba fucking sucks and to try something else. Maybe it’s because the customer is still smiling, even though by now he’s sure to have gotten a proper look at Zuko’s marred face. Maybe it’s because his hair, the rest of it that’s not in the little braid but is instead in a wolftail, looks so soft…
Maybe Zuko is a bit preoccupied.
“Well, that’s good enough for me! How about I get a small black milk boba tea and let you know what I think?”
Zuko nods numbly, tells him how much it is, and exchanges currency. He’s fairly certain he doesn’t look at the till to do it, but the customer doesn’t say anything about incorrect change so maybe he’s done it right. Zuko makes the tea with shaking fingers. When he finishes, he turns and sees the customer leaning against the counter, looking down at his phone. He looks up, as if he knew Zuko was looking at him, and flashes that smile again. Zuko passes over the tea and their fingers brush.
“Thanks!”
“You’re welcome.”
Zuko watches as the customer walks to a table near the windows, pulls out a laptop (how long had he been wearing a messenger bag?) and gets to work. Zuko, unfortunately, finds it hard to get back to work for the rest of his shift.
 ***
Zuko’s off the next few days and he spends his free time reading. Mostly Wikipedia articles, but if pressed Zuko would defend his habits as educational to the last breath. Besides, it isn’t as if he is just reading them for fun, not that anyone asked. He’s editing. The nature of Wikipedia is such that anyone, even idiots, can create a page. It is a beautiful idea in theory, but in practice it gives Zuko a headache. He doesn’t edit every inaccurate page that he comes across (he’d get nothing else done) but he does look through pages he considers himself an expert on. Species of turtle, types of candle wax, the furnace manufacturing industry—well. There are plenty of things to keep him occupied until his next shift. He very pointedly does not think about the blue-eyed bombshell from the other day who stayed in the shop for several hours, long after he had finished his tea. He also doesn’t think about how, after finishing the tea, the blue-eyed customer had looked up and unerringly found Zuko’s eyes to give him a big, hammy thumbs up with another grin. He doesn’t think about how he’d fumbled the teacup that had been in his hand and blushed furiously, thanking the gods the cup had been empty. He doesn’t think about how, though he didn’t look back at the customer’s table ever again, he could feel the man’s eyes on him. He really doesn’t think about that.
Instead, he thinks about how someone has changed all the mentions of “tortoises” to “turtles” as he viciously changes them back. Honestly, if there weren’t a difference why would there be two separate words?
His next shift is an early one. 7am. Zuko doesn’t mind; he tends to rise early anyway. He comes in a few minutes before his shift starts, unlocking the door and bringing down chairs from their upside-down position on tables. He can hear Uncle in the back, counting change.
“Zuko, is that you?”
Zuko sighs. “Yes Uncle. Were you expecting someone else?”
Uncle Iroh’s chuckle can be heard clearly in the front room. “No, no, just glad you are here. Today is going to be a great day!” Uncle comes through the door to the back, tying his apron around his generous belly. Zuko still doesn’t understand why Uncle, the owner of this shop, insists on working when he could easily just hire someone to take his place. He’s asked a few times, wondering why his uncle doesn’t take an early (or, honestly, past due) retirement, but Uncle always gives him the same answer. He grins, slaps Zuko on the back, and says, “Can’t leave all the fun to the young!” before busying himself with some part of the tea process. Zuko doesn’t understand it, but he’s long learned not to question it. He grabs his own apron and gets behind the counter, taking the glass jars of tea out from the cabinets to display them next to the till. Uncle is insistent that people see the tea before it’s brewed, so they know exactly what they are getting. Zuko doesn’t get it. He looks in the jars and sees different shades of dried leaf, which doesn’t help him choose which one he’ll hate least. But Uncle is the boss, so.
The morning goes quickly, a rush hitting a half hour after they open and holding steady until around nine. Perks of being located near the college campus, the best of which being that students in the early morning are dead-eyed and silent. They take their caffeine and go, without much small talk. Zuko decides to take his break after the rush, knowing another one will start up again in an hour or so. Uncle had decided pretty early on that tea was much better with a snack, and so had added café food to the menu. Oatmeal, avocado toast, and smoothie bowls are part of the Jasmine Dragon’s repertoire, among other tasty things, which brings more people in for lunch than they’d get just serving tea. A blessing and a curse, Zuko thinks. A blessing, because more customers mean more tips. A curse because…well, customers. Zuko throws together a sandwich and starts to head to the back. Uncle always says he’s welcome to eat in the dining room, where the seats are more comfortable, but Zuko prefers not to be seen while he eats. Usually, Uncle leaves it just at that. Today, however, he pushes Zuko a little more.
“Are you sure, nephew? I chose these couches myself for their comfort! I think you will enjoy your lunch a bit better if you sit out here today.” Uncle has an odd twinkle in his eye as he says this, one Zuko doesn’t have the energy to parse through. He looks at the clock, then back at Uncle, and realizes if he wants to have any food at all it’s better to just give in now. Zuko shrugs and heads to the dining room instead, taking an armchair close to the back. The room is, thankfully, empty for now. Not knowing how long that will last, Zuko starts to take a bite of his sandwich when the bell over the door rings. He sighs, moving to get up, but Uncle waves him off and heads towards the till to take care of the customer. Grateful, Zuko sinks back into the armchair, eyes drifting to the newcomer in case they try to give Uncle any trouble. As his eyes find him, Zuko freezes. It’s. The blue-eyed man.
Zuko does not drop his sandwich.
The man walks to the counter, familiar grin on his face, and greets Uncle like they’re old friends. Zuko watches, confused, as they immediately launch into a hushed conversation too quiet for him to make out. He does catch Uncle attempting to subtly point in his direction, though, and feels his ears go red. Better not to worry about it, Zuko thinks, and hunches deeper into his armchair to nibble on his sandwich. Not worrying about it, he keeps his eye on the customer.
Eventually, after it seems the man has finally ordered, the customer moves down the counter away from Uncle, and Iroh starts his tea. Instead of looking at his phone like he did last time, the man looks directly at Zuko and makes a beeline for his corner. Zuko eats a bit faster.
“Hey! You on break?”
Zuko wishes he hadn’t eaten so fast. “Mmph? Uhk, er—”
The other man’s eyes fill with concern and he puts his hands up, palms out. “Whoa, whoa sorry! I should’ve waited, take your time!” He watches Zuko swallow with a soft smile, getting comfortable in a nearby armchair. Zuko tries to tone down his impression of a human tomato.
“I—fuck—hi. Hello. Again.”
The customer’s smile stays soft, but a light comes into his eyes. “Hello. Again. Name’s Sokka,” and he reaches a hand out to shake, “what’s yours?”
Zuko definitely drops his sandwich now (onto the table, thank fuck) and quickly meets the man’s—Sokka’s—hand with his own. Sokka’s hand is pleasantly cool. “Uh, I’m Zuko.”
“Zuko. Cool.” Sokka keeps looking at him, and smiling at him, and should Zuko let go now? Or is it okay, since Sokka hasn’t let go either? Zuko wracks his brain for the last time he shook anyone’s hand and how long the shake lasted and comes up maddeningly blank. Has Zuko shaken anyone else’s hand before?
Sokka’s smile grows. He slowly removes his hand from Zuko’s grip, fingers lingering. Zuko has just enough presence of mind to bring his hand back to his lap, and not leave it dangling in midair like an idiot. It’s a near thing, though.
“Uh, so. What were you and Uncle talking about?” Zuko asks, the first thing that comes to mind.
“Oh! That’s your uncle?” Sokka looks over his shoulder for a second, then looks back. “Oh, uh, nothing? Would you believe nothing? We were just shooting the breeze, you know, real casual small talk.” Sokka does not sound very convincing, but he also doesn’t sound like he’s going to change his story so Zuko doesn’t push it.
“Oh, okay. Yeah, he’s, uh, he’s good at that. Small talk.” Unlike me oh gods strike me down now.
“He seems like a good guy!” The nervous look leaves Sokka’s eyes, which is just as well because that means they’re not shifting all over the place and are firmly planted on Zuko’s face. “Must be nice to have such a nice uncle to work for. All the free boba you want! What a dream.”
Zuko’s eyes widen and he coughs. “Uh yeah. All the…the free b-boba…I’d want. Because it’s so good. Who doesn’t like boba? You like it, right?”
Before Sokka can answer, Uncle comes to their little corner with Sokka’s order: same as the other day, black milk tea with boba. This time, though, it’s a much bigger serving. Sokka’s eyes light up when he sees it, and he thanks Uncle profusely as he stabs into the drink’s seal. Zuko tries to hide his grimace, his question thoroughly answered. He looks at Uncle, intending on asking if he should get back to work, but Uncle just gives him a wink and walks off without saying anything. Flustered, Zuko stays put. Between slurps of tea, Sokka begins to ask him about himself and, helpless, Zuko answers. He makes sure to keep his eyes on Sokka’s face, rather than the abomination he’s inhaling, but really that’s not much better. Looking at Sokka makes Zuko feel like he’s on fire. Every time Sokka asks him something his tongue trips over itself trying to provide the best, most accurate answer. He’s sure he looks like a buffoon but Sokka never comments, just keeps smiling at him and encouraging him to answer. He just wants to know and Zuko doesn’t get it.
“Uh, so. What about you? You were working on something the other day…what was it?” Immediately Zuko wants to take it back, sure he’s asked something too personal, maybe the guy doesn’t want to talk about his work, honestly Zuko just think sometimes—
“Oh! I’m glad you asked, I’ve been meaning to bounce some ideas off someone!” Sokka’s eyes light up like he’s been given another boba as he launches into an explanation of his work. He’s a PhD student apparently, trying to hammer out a decent thesis proposal for his dissertation on medieval war tactics. War isn’t really Zuko’s interest, but he does know a bit about medieval history so he offers advice when he can. He’s sure it’s not very helpful, but Sokka seems to take it all very seriously, even pausing for a moment to bring his laptop out and take some notes. Zuko doesn’t have the heart to tell him most of his information was collected from his Wikipedia hunts. Before Zuko knows it, the lunch rush has come and gone and evening is swiftly approaching. When he finally notices a clock he swears, standing up quickly.
“Oh shit, I should go back to work! Oh man, I left Uncle all alone, I—” He looks around frantically hoping to catch his uncle’s eye.
Sokka stands too, seemingly also unconscious of the time. “Oh wow, yeah it’s later than I thought. I’ve got to go, Katara’s gonna kill me…” He quickly packs up his things, having over time brought out papers and folders along with his laptop, haphazardly shoving things back into his messenger bag. “This was good, though! I really liked talking to you. Until next time?” Sokka shoots Zuko a hopeful look as he puts his items away. Zuko blinks a few times, still in Red Alert mode, but takes a second to look back at Sokka. And nods.
“Yeah. Next time.”
***
Next time is apparently the very next day. Zuko isn’t scheduled but Uncle calls him in last minute, as Jin, one of the other employees of the Jasmine Dragon, apparently called in sick. Zuko isn’t planning on doing anything but sweep through Wikipedia so he agrees, taking a quick shower before heading over and arriving with his hair still a bit damp. Uncle gives him a wide smile when he sees him arrive, which Zuko returns, albeit in a more subdued manner, before he spots Jin behind him. His eyes narrow.
“Uncle. I thought you said Jin called in sick.”
“Ah, nephew, you see….” His uncle has the good grace to blush. “She had called in sick, but it seems she felt a bit better and decided to come in anyway!”
“Uncle, you called me twenty minutes ago. Did she get sick and better within the span of half an hour?”
Uncle shrugs, unperturbed by being called out in an obvious lie. “Who is to say, nephew? Illnesses come and go, sometimes. Since you are here already, why don’t I make it up to you? You go sit in your corner and I’ll bring you some tea!” Uncle has that look in his eye, the one Zuko knows means he’s been caught in something he can’t see yet, which doesn’t make any sense….
It’s then that Zuko looks to “his” corner. And sees Sokka sitting in the same chair as yesterday, tapping away on his laptop.
“Uncle! Did you--?” Zuko doesn’t even know how to finish the sentence, but one look at the conniving old man tells him all he needs to know. Zuko groans. “I’m going home, Uncle.”
“No, no! Why go home if you are already here? You may as well relax your poor feet and have some good conversation while you are at it. Go, go sit and I will bring you and your…companion some tea and pastries.” Uncle makes a shooing motion and Zuko finds his feet have decided to make their own decisions, choosing to carry him over to Sokka. Sokka seems to know he’s there because when he gets close, Sokka turns to greet him.
“Zuko! I didn’t know you were working today! Good to see you.” He indicates the chair opposite him, snug in the corner. “Join me?”
Zuko nods numbly and goes to sit. “I wasn’t working today. Uncle called me in, said Jin called out sick…but she’s not sick. She’s right over there.” He points to where Jin is laughing with Uncle about something. He hopes to the gods it’s not him.
“Hmm. Sick but not sick huh? Well, I guess it’s my lucky day then,” Sokka says, beaming a smile at Zuko. Zuko feels warm down to his toes and musters a small smile back.
“Yeah, I guess.” Zuko scratches the back of his neck, feeling the weight of conversation-making drop onto his shoulders. How do people do this?
Thankfully, Sokka seems to feel no such weight and launches right into a story about his sister and their roommate, a blind girl named Toph who sounds like a handful. Sokka doesn’t look like Zuko’s one-word answers bother him, seemingly content to talk about whatever, switching topics on a whim. It’s…comforting. When Sokka wants something from Zuko, he asks. He doesn’t push and doesn’t stray into awkward territory. He doesn’t’ ask about the scar. At one point, Zuko looks down and sees there’s tea in front of both of them, the usual for Sokka and a smaller version of the same for him along with two croissants. He didn’t even notice Uncle coming by. He doesn’t say anything about the cup of boba in front of him, choosing to pretend he doesn’t see it.
“Oh! Can I get your opinion on something?” Sokka asks, his laptop now out. He looks a little nervous, typing at some keys.
“Yeah, sure, I guess. What is it?” Zuko doesn’t know what Sokka could possibly want his opinion on, but he can’t possibly say no.
“Well, it’s this paragraph. I think I’m describing the reign of this king right, but the way you said it yesterday made so much more sense…” Sokka lifts his laptop to hand it over to Zuko, and Zuko doesn’t understand because he could just slide it over and—oh. Sokka’s fingers brush against Zuko’s in the handoff, and Zuko has no more complaints. He takes the laptop, feeling his face heat up, and tries not to fumble it as he turns it around.
“Oh, uh. Yeah, let me read it.” He does, half his mind on the highlighted paragraph and the other half on how nice Sokka’s fingers had felt on his. “This seems right. If anything I’d just, well…” He turns on track changes and does a few minor edits, hands it back. Hopes Sokka’s fingers will touch his again and is not disappointed. Sokka’s ears seem a bit red but otherwise he doesn’t seem to notice.
“Oh, great! Yeah, see that’s what I meant, you just are so good at that. The words, I mean.”
Zuko looks at him like there’s worms coming out of his eyes. Him? Good with words? What planet is Sokka from? He doesn’t say anything though, just shrugging.
The day passes the same as the one before, Sokka alternating between asking Zuko questions and working on his thesis proposal. Zuko tells him about his love of turtles, and his Wikipedia obsession, though he refrains from calling it an “obsession” and refers to it as “an academic obligation.” Sokka nods as if this makes sense. Zuko finds the courage to ask Sokka a bit too, about his sister (Katara, a bit of a pain but the way Sokka talks about her Zuko knows he loves her), his roommate Toph (exactly as much of a handful as that story made her sound like), his parents (dead mom, Zuko regrets asking, and great dad, Zuko really regrets asking) and his school program. Occasionally Zuko will catch Sokka looking at him in a way he can’t read, like Sokka is puzzling something out. When Zuko catches him, he raises his one eyebrow in question but Sokka shakes his head and goes back to his laptop. Zuko leaves it at that.
When it’s time for the Jasmine Dragon to close, neither are ready for it.
“Time sure flies, huh?” Sokka asks, looking genuinely bewildered at the position of the sun. “I should be getting back.”
“Yeah, me too.” Zuko stands, instinctively clearing the table. “This was. Nice. I’m…glad I came in today.”
Sokka gives him a soft smile, pausing in putting his laptop and papers away. “I’m glad too.”
***
For the next week, Zuko is working every day. When asked why he signed up for seven days in a row, Zuko shrugs.
“Rent is coming up.”
His Uncle, who is very familiar with his nephew’s finances, smiles and says nothing.
And if Zuko’s breaks are spent in the corner of the dining room with a certain blue-eyed regular, well. It’s nobody’s business but his.
He makes sure he doesn’t go over time, feeling guilty about the work he skipped last time, but when he goes back behind the till Sokka doesn’t leave. In fact, he just moves tables, sitting in a chair closer to the counter, angled towards Zuko. Zuko doesn’t know why, but he isn’t complaining. It’s much easier to watch Sokka this way.
The man really was beautiful. Zuko’s never been very good at describing people, wrinkling his nose at the labels people use for body parts. All he knew was that something about Sokka called to him, somewhere deep down, and he didn’t know what to do about it. Or if there was anything to do. Sokka was a customer, after all! He came for his (disgusting) tea and a quiet place to work. And, apparently, to talk to Zuko, sometimes. But that didn’t mean anything. Still. For seven days, Sokka came in and ordered his boba, they chatted during Zuko’s breaks, and Zuko watched him work when he had to go back behind the till. He might have dropped a mug or two. But who was counting? Apparently not Uncle, who only gives him mysterious looks whenever it happens and sweeps up the glass without comment. He also seems to be oddly occupied in the back of the shop, leaving Zuko at the front. Alone. On days when Uncle is not in the shop, but Jin or Piandao are working instead, they also seem to make themselves…scarce, unless there’s a rush. Zuko doesn’t question it, as it leaves him more chances to watch Sokka unobserved.
Somewhere in the middle of the week, Sokka starts coming up to the counter after the lunch rush to ask Zuko some more questions. Mostly about his proposal, but sometimes not. He always goes back to his chair when a customer comes in, ever courteous of Zuko’s job, but Zuko kind of wishes he wouldn’t. Zuko would much rather explain to Sokka his disinterest in organized sports than watch a customer stare at the menu above Zuko’s head for five minutes, just to give a fake laugh and ask what Zuko thinks they should get. Zuko really wishes they would stop asking his opinion on tea.
By the end of the week, Zuko desperately needs a break. All his clothes, even his non-work ones, reek of tea. He doesn’t know how, but they do, and he’s tired. His feet hurt. He thinks he’ll do something violent if he has to make small talk with another customer. But he looks over at Sokka and thinking about the prospect of not seeing him for a few days fills him with panic. Maybe he could come in anyway? But, surely that’d be obvious, right? Maybe he can ask Uncle to loudly call him on the phone…
It’s nearing closing time and Zuko is still thinking about what to do. Sokka’s still there, which isn’t unusual. He hasn’t left before closing time all week. He gets up, stretches, and starts packing his things away. Also not unusual. What is unusual is that, instead of giving Zuko a wave and heading out, he walks up to the counter.
“Hey.”
“…hey?” Zuko’s mind switches from thinking about how to see Sokka in the next few days to how to deal with the Sokka in front of him. “Want a tea for the road?”
“Well, actually…” Sokka brings a hand up to tug at his braid, biting his bottom lip. Zuko tries not to track this motion and utterly fails. “I was wondering. You, uh. You’ve been working a lot this week, haven’t you?”
Zuko blinks. Sokka had noticed? “Uh, yeah. I’m supposed to be off a couple days soon.”
“Okay. Okay, yeah, that makes sense, cool. Would…would tomorrow be one of those days?”
“Maybe? It, uh, could be? Why?”
Sokka tugs a final time at his braid before planting both hands on the counter. “Wellyousaidyoulikedturtlesright?”
Zuko frowns. “What?”
Sokka takes a deep breath. “Well. You said you liked. Turtles, right?”
Zuko nods slowly. “Yeah…?”
“Okay. Okay, so, I’m planning on going to the aquarium tomorrow. I have a free day from—” he gestures to the messenger bag on his shoulder, as if that explains anything at all, “—and was wondering if you wanted to join me?”
Zuko’s eyes widen. “Oh, like. You and me? At the aquarium?”
Sokka seems to gain his equilibrium in the face of Zuko’s awkwardness and grins. “Yeah, you and me. Like a date?” As confident as Sokka suddenly looks, Zuko can tell he’s a little nervous. Zuko rushes to reassure him.
“Yes! Yes. I would. I would like that. A date.”
“Great! Meet here at 2?”
“Yeah. See you then.”
Sokka leaves and Zuko allows himself a solitary fist pump.
***
The next day, Zuko comes in to find Sokka already out front, holding two cups.
“I thought I’d get us some boba for the trip over! Here,” and he hands one to Zuko. Zuko looks at it like it’s going to bite him. Sokka doesn’t notice, having already popped the seal on his and taking a big slurp. Zuko watches the boba balls go up the straw with dread.
“Come on, man, no need to be shy. Don’t even think you have to pay me back, just go ahead and enjoy!”
Zuko’s eye twitches but, as if on autopilot, he stabs into his drink. Takes a few sips. He tries his best, but a ball of boba gets stuck in his straw and he has no choice but to bring it all the way up. The moment it touches his tongue he makes the loudest retching sound, dropping his drink onto the pavement and launching the ball from his mouth to land on Sokka’s shirt.
Sokka, for his part, is in hysterics.
He laughs at him the whole way to the aquarium, and a bit more while they’re there for good measure. In fact, he doesn’t stop laughing until Zuko kisses him, right next to the turtle tank.
 fin
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brywrites · 4 years
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Omg you made me so happy with that story of Eliza, now I know this is a stretch but can we get a update on Halloween where you left off with them going trick or treating with everyone🥺🙈 ?
Ask and you shall receive, anon! I really never get tired of writing Spencer and Bianca, and I really didn’t give myself the space to explore what their lives as parents would look like so it was fun to to take that a little further with this one! Here’s just some pure domestic Halloween fluff.
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They arrived at JJ’s house just as the sun was beginning to paint the autumn sky golden. Before the door had even opened, they could hear Henry shout, “Mom! They’re here!” Seconds later it swung open, and Henry, dressed in red, white, and blue, greeted them with a grin. “Hi Uncle Spence! Hi Aunt Bianca!” He gave each of them a quick hug. “Wow, you brought a tiger!”
“It’s me!” Eliza said, giggling. Henry pretended to be shocked as she threw her arms around them.
“Let me guess… Captain America, right?” Spencer asked as they stepped inside.
“Yeah, he’s my favorite superhero!” Henry’s excitement faltered for a moment and he straightened up a little taller. “I mean, I know I’m kind of old to go trick-or-treating, but I promised Michael I’d come.”
“Henry, if I have taught you anything you should know by now that you’re never too old for Halloween,” Spencer replied.
His words brought a smile back to Henry’s face and he said, “Wait till you see my shield! I painted it all by myself!”
The inside of the LaMontagne-Jareau househould was already bustling. JJ, dressed as Black Widow, was finishing Michael’s Hulk-green face paint. Hotch and Jack had moved back to the DC area two years earlier, and Garcia was excitedly talking to Jack and his girlfriend Mabel. The two teens had donned the costumes of Ben Solo and Rey from Star Wars, while the BAU’s former tech wizard wore a bright pink dress and golden crown as Princess Peach. Hotch and Beth, masquerading as Han Solo and Princess Leia, were being regaled by one of Rossi’s stories while Krystall laughed. Rossi’s suit and tie didn’t quite make sense as a costume until Bianca realized that Krystall’s white dress and curled hair made her Marilyn Monroe, and Rossi must have been JFK.
“It’s about time you showed up Pretty Boy!” Morgan quickly cut through the room to make his way to them, ruffling Spencer’s hair. “And my favorite little lady,” he said, embracing Bianca. Then squatting down to Eliza’s height, “And littlest lady, too, Miss Eliza Lou!”
He lifted Elizabeth up into his arms. “Why do you have hair Uncle Derek?” she asked, pointing to Morgan’s head.
“Because zombie Michael Jackson has hair in the “Thriller” music video,” he replied, as though that context meant anything to a five year old. “And that’s who I’m dressed as for Halloween.”
“You look funny with hair,” the little girl replied.
Morgan put his free hand over his chest, and feigned melodramatic offense. “Oh, ouch! You wound me, Eliza Lou!” Eliza giggled as her godfather set her back on the ground. “Now what exactly are you two supposed to be?” he asked, gesturing between Spencer and Bianca.
Spencer wore a red zippered sweater with a tie and blue Converse, while Bianca had on a floral pink 70’s style prairie dress. “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood,” Spencer replied.
When Morgan just raised an eyebrow, Bianca said, “Mr. Rogers and Lady Aberlin, from Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood!”
“You see,” Reid explained, “Elizabeth had her heart set on being a tiger, so we tried to come up with costumes that could go along with it. And Fred Rogers used a number of puppets on Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood to help act out situations of learning and vulnerability in healthy ways, one of which was Daniel Striped Tiger who was the most recognizable from the show. It’s actually funny, the tiger puppet was a gift to Mr. Rogers the night before the very first episode was s-”
“I get it,” Morgan said, holding up a hand. “I’ll read the Wikipedia article later, I promise.”
“Oh come on now, babe, I think it’s cute.” Savannah appeared beside her husband, linking her arm with his. “It’s good to see you two.” She still wore nurse’s scrubs and had a stethoscope around her neck.
“Did you just come from work?” Bianca asked. Savannah and Morgan’s daughter, Ainslie, had just turned one and Savannah had gone back to full-time shifts at the hospital.
Savannah laughed, shaking her head. “Thank god, no. Hank wanted to be a zombie, so Derek came up with the idea of going as “Thriller” MJ to match. I figured if it’s the zombie apocalypse in our household, I might as well be the nurse on the frontlines trying to fight them off.”
“Uh oh,” Morgan said. “I don’t know how long you’ll last out there. The zombies are pretty handsome, I hear.” He kissed her cheek as she rolled her eyes. Turning back to the Reids, he asked, “So are we ready to take on trick or treating?”
Bianca winked. “Well Spencer here was born ready, and I think that after seven Halloweens together I’ve learned a thing or two.” The four of them had been chosen as the designated chaperones for the kid’s festivities while the rest of the adults finished up a Halloween feast at the house. Once all the kids were accounted for and everyone had a pillowcase in hand, they set out into the DC streets in search of spooks and sweets.
Spencer’s boundless enthusiasm was contagious, spreading even to Jack who seemed torn between being excited about Halloween and trying to look cool in front of Mabel. But once it became clear Mabel was into the scary stories Spencer told while they walked, Hotch’s son visibly relaxed. It was a good group of kids – at every house Henry, Jack, and Mabel made sure that Michael, Hank, and Eliza got candy first, and a chorus of thank you!s followed them from doorstep to doorstep.
Spencer’s delight for the present was carrying over to the future. “When she’s a little older,” he was saying, “we can go to a haunted house or two. Maybe even a haunted corn maze. And we can watch a midnight scary movie screening and she’ll be able to carve her own pumpkins!” Bianca laughed and he glanced her way, bashful. “What?”
“I just love seeing you excited about this,” she said. His eyes always lit up in a way that made her heart skip a beat after all this time. “And thinking about all the holidays we’re going to have together and how we’ll get to make all these new traditions as she grows up.”
Spencer stopped suddenly on the sidewalk and before she could react he was hugging her close. The fabric of his sweater was soft against her cheek. “What was that for?” she asked him, looking up, her arms still wrapped around his waist.
“I wouldn’t be doing any of this without you,” he said. “I would probably still be at the BAU. I wouldn’t have anything worth leaving for. I wouldn’t have someone I get excited about growing old with. But I have a home because I have you. I have a home and someone who will plan obscure Halloween costumes with me and I have a daughter and it’s all because I fell in love with you. Because you loved me.”
“And because you loved me,” she echoed. She wouldn’t have wanted it with anyone else. He was the only person who made her feel safe enough to trust him with every part of her. He made her feel brave enough to take on the world and to start a family. When nothing else made sense, he was there to anchor her with a warm embrace and all the words she needed to hear and promises to stay. He knew her better than she knew herself. Bianca stood on her toes to kiss him sweetly, not caring that there were people all around them.
“When you two are done being all lovey-dovey,” Morgan called, “we’ve still got one more block to hit.”
“Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey!” Eliza sang, skipping beside them. Spencer smiled and kissed Bianca’s forehead as he interlaced his fingers through hers with one hand and reached down to hold their daughter’s hand with the other. When the final houses had been visited, they descended upon the LaMontagne-Jareau household once more, with pillowcases full of candy.
During their absence, more familiar faces had appeared at the house. Prentiss and Mendoza were drinking wine with Rossi in the living room and Luke, dressed as Mario, had his arm around Penelope while they talked with three of the newer BAU members.
“Aunt Alex!” Eliza’s bag of candy was temporarily forgotten as she ran to hug Alex Blake who was at the kitchen table with JJ, Will, and her husband James.
“Why Elizabeth,” she said, “aren’t you the most ferocious tiger I’ve ever seen?”
“I’ve been practicing!” Eliza replied. She furrowed her eyebrows and held her hands up by her face like claws. “Rarr!” Her godmother gave her around of applause for her performance, happily doting on her while everyone gathered around the table for dinner.
It was warm and inviting in the living room, feeling every bit like a cheerful Thanksgiving dinner except for the costumes and the spooky decorations. There was plenty to be discussed, whether it was Emily’s new position as Director of the Bureau or the book Rossi and Matt had just published. The Simmons clan were the only ones absent, their children having made plans already to spend Halloween with their friends in their own neighborhood. Bianca felt right at home among the people who had come to feel as much her family as they were Spencer’s. She swapped stories of international travels with Alex and James and was delighted to talk to Tara and her girlfriend, Elena. The two women were dressed as Cinderella and Prince Charming, and she had to admit that Tara could certainly pull off a suit. When Penelope begged Morgan for a chance to babysit Hank and Ainslie soon and Rossi said, “You know you could just have some of your own,” she and Luke both turned red.
“Hey now,” Luke said. “We’re just trying to get through the wedding first, okay?”
“Yeah, you never know, I could still change my mind,” Garcia teased, elbowing her fiancé.
“You say that at least once a month,” Luke laughed. “But I don’t think we can get our deposit back on the venue at this point, so it looks like you’re stuck with me.”
There was enough food and to go around, and a generous amount of libations courtesy of David Rossi. Bianca’s contribution was an array of desserts – pumpkin cheesecake, salted caramel brownies, and chocolate cupcakes with vampire fangs and raspberry filling – that were immediate hits, and Spencer’s contribution was agreeing not to consume them before the party. After dinner the kids went down to the basement to watch Hocus Pocus, Jack and Henry promising they’d look after everyone, while the adults settled into the living room.
“Eliza,” Bianca called. “How about you pick out a few pieces of candy for now, and we’ll keep the rest up here so you can have some later, okay?” The little girl was about to follow her cousins downstairs with her whole bag of sugary treasures. “If you eat too much candy at once you’ll get a bellyache.”
Eliza considered this, then nodded. “Okay, mama.” She dug through the pillowcase, choosing a few treats, then handed the bag back to her mother asking, “But how come daddy gets to?” She pointed to Spencer who sat on the floor of the living room, gorging himself on a plate of sweets. He looked up sheepishly, caught red-handed about to take a bite of oversized brownie.
“It’s because I’m old enough to anticipate the consequences of my actions,” he said. “I know when to stop before I feel sick.”
“You go have fun with your cousins, okay?” Bianca said, giving her daughter a quick hug before watching the tail of the tiger costume vanish the stairs. She sat down next to Spencer, shaking her head. “You’re such a bad liar,” she laughed. “You’ll be complaining all night that you feel awful.”
He shrugged. “What can I say? I just can’t help myself around something sweet.” Spencer put his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap, leaning in to kiss her. “See?”
She smiled. “You’re lucky, Mr. Rogers, that I like you just the way you are. Insatiable sweet tooth and all.”
Spencer grinned. “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.” Mimicking the song from the old children’s show, he sang, “Would you be mine? Could you be mine?”
“You know what my answer is,” she said. She let her head fall against his shoulder. Nestled close in his embrace, she sat listening to the BAU recount stories of the glory days and valiant acts of the past. Spencer traced circles on the back of her hand, resting his cheek against the top of her head with a sigh of contentment, and she knew he was thinking the same thing she was – that there was a relief in knowing that the monsters were in only in their yesterdays and nightmares. That there was no danger waiting around the corner for him anymore. Nothing to steal him away too soon. There were endless tomorrows stretching out ahead of them, but for now they could reminisce with the family that had been built by that shared past. And Bianca could think of few sweeter treats than that.
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the-desolated-quill · 4 years
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Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2019
Congratulations! You’ve made it through another year! You’ve faced many obstacles and overcome many adversaries to arrive here, at the dawn of a new decade. So as we prepare to leave the 2010s and make our way into the 2020s, lets take a look back at the challenges and hardships of 2019. And by challenges and hardships, I of course mean shitty fiction and media.
Yes, it’s time for yet another edition of Quill’s Swill, where we mark the absolute worst stories that the industry had to offer over the past year and proceed to tear them to shreds. Think of it as like voiding your bowels before the New Year.
As always remember that this is my personal, subjective opinion. If you happen to like any of the things on this list, that’s fine. More power to you. Go make your own list. Also bear in mind I haven’t seen everything 2019 has to offer due to various other commitments. So as much as I really, really want to, I can’t put Avengers Endgame on here. I know what happens. It sounds fucking terrible, but I haven’t seen the film, so it wouldn’t be fair of me to put it on the list, even though it would most definitely deserve it.
...
Seriously, read the synopsis of Endgame on Wikipedia some time. It’s like fanfic written by a nine year old. It’s truly shocking. And now it’s the highest grossing movie of all time? Give me strength.
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All In A Row
Don’t you just hate it when you’re expected to parent your autistic child? Like actually show love and care and consideration to your offspring. Look at him, expecting you to treat him like a human being. Selfish bastard! If only there was a play that explored the horrors of having to be a decent person to your own flesh and blood and how objectively awful it is. If you’re one of those people, then the play All In A Row will be right up your street.
Premiering on the 14th February at Southwark Playhouse in London, All In A Row was a total shitshow to say the least. The playwright, Alex Oates, claimed to have ten years of experience working with autistic children, which you wouldn’t have believed if you saw the play as the autistic child at the centre of the play, Lawrence, seemed more like a wild animal than a person. In fact two of the main characters compare him to a dog. And if you thought this wasn’t dehumanising enough, Lawrence isn’t even a child. He’s a puppet. Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds.
All In A Row seems to place all of the blame for the family’s predicament on the autistic child, who’s presented as barely functional, bordering on bestial. There’s no effort to really make an emotional connection with Lawrence (how can you? He’s a puppet!) as the play instead focuses on how this kid has effectively ruined this family’s life because of his autism and aggressive behaviour. Speaking as someone on the autism spectrum, I can say quite confidently that this play is fucking despicable. Badly written, badly conceived, insulting and downright mean spirited. I wouldn’t want Oates looking after my autistic children, that’s for damn sure.
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Anthem
EA is back and this time they’re dragging the critical darling that is BioWare down with them.
Anthem was a desperate attempt to jump aboard the ‘live service’ bandwagon, trying to replicate the success of other video games like Overwatch, Destiny and Warframe. They failed spectacularly. The game itself had more bugs than A Bug’s Life, loot drops were often stingy and unrewarding, loading times were farcically long, and the story and worldbuilding was fucking pitiful. Oh yeah, and if you played it on PS4, there was a good chance it could permanently damage it. Thankfully I have a uni friend with an Xbox One and they allowed me to play the game on that. It was a crushing disappointment, especially coming fresh off the heels of Mass Effect Andromeda, which didn’t exactly set the world on fire back in 2017.
It didn’t help that EA’s reputation was in tatters thanks to the lootbox controversy of Star Wars Battlefront II and having to try and win back the trust of fans, but worse still reports began to service of what went on behind the scenes at BioWare during the game’s development. Apparently the game’s story and mechanics kept changing every other day as the creative directors and writers didn’t have the faintest idea what kind of game they wanted to make, and the developers were often forced to work obscenely long work hours in abusive crunch periods to get the game finished for launch. It got so bad that, according to an article on Kotaku, some members of the team had to leave for weeks or even months at a time to recover from ‘stress casualties.’ 
To think this was the same company that gave us Mass Effect, Dragon Age and Knights Of The Old Republic. Thank God that Obsidian Entertainment is there to pick up the slack on the RPG front because I think it’s safe to assume that BioWare won’t be around for much longer at this rate.
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The Lion King (2019 remake)
Here we go. Yet another live action remake of a Disney classic. Excpet it’s not live action, is it? Well... it’s live action in the sense that Dinosaur was live action (remember that film? Don’t worry if you don’t. No one does). Real locations but CGI characters. Millions of dollars spent on cutting edge tech to create photo realistic animals... and the film ends up duller than a bowl of porridge that really likes trainspotting.
It’s not just the fact that The Lion King remake is yet another soulless cash grab from the House of Mouse, it’s also the fact that it’s done really badly that upsets me. The Lion King works as an animated film. Bright colourful images, over the top song and dance sequences and vibrant character designs. As a ‘live action’ film, it just looks awkward and stilted. None of the animals are very expressive, leaving it up to the poor voice actors to carry the film, and to cap it all off the CGI isn’t even all that convincing in my opinion. At no point did I look at Simba and go ‘oh yeah, he looks like a real lion.’ It’s so obviously fake. In fact it reminds me of those early 00s movies like Cats & Dogs or Stuart Little where you see the jaws of the talking animals moving up and down like some messed up ventriloquist act or something. And here’s me thinking cinema has evolved past this.
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BBC’s The War Of The Worlds
Remember Peter Harness? That guy who wrote that Doctor Who episode about the moon being an egg? Yeah, he’s back and he’s doing an adaptation of H.G. Wells’ War Of The Worlds. And guess what! It’s fucking ghastly! :D
The three part BBC mini-series was without a doubt some of the worst telly I think I’ve ever seen. It’s staggering how clueless Harness is as a writer. For starters he managed to achieve the impossible and somehow made a Martian invasion of Earth boring. I didn’t even think it was possible, but somehow he pulled it off. Then he sucks all tension out of the story by revealing the ultimate fate of the Martians at the beginning of the second episode, so now any threat or danger has been chucked out of the window because we know that the main female protagonist Amy at least would survive. And then finally he takes a massive dump over the source material by having humanity weaponise typhoid to kill the red weed rather than just having the Martians die of the common cold like in the book. Because God forbid us Brits should be presented as anything other than heroic and dignified.
So what we’re left with is a poorly realised allegory with ineffectual horror tropes full of OTT progressive posturing in a pathetic attempt to make Harness and the BBC look more liberal than they actually are. There’s no effort to really explore the themes of imperialism and colonialism outside of casual lip service, and we barely get a glimpse of the dark side of humanity. Everyone is presented as flawed, but basically awesome or, in the case of Rafe Spall’s character, utterly gormless. Our TV license fees help fund this shit, you know?!
And if you think this was bad, just wait till New Year’s Day where we’ll get to see Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ butcher Dracula. Can we stop giving these beloved literary icons to these hacks please?
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Glass
I liked Split. It wasn’t an amazing movie, but it was entertaining with some good ideas, a great performance from James McAvoy and was a true return to form for M Night Shyamalan. That being said, I wasn’t keen on the idea of it taking place in the same universe as Unbreakable. I feared it would be a step too far and we’d end up having something like... well, something like Glass.
On paper, Glass isn’t a bad idea. The idea of superpowers being a delusion is legitimately intriguing and could have been a great post-modern deconstruction of the superhero genre. Except Shyamalan never actually does anything with it. The first act drags on and on with absolutely nothing happening, none of the characters really grow or change over the course of the film, Bruce Willis in particular is basically only here for an extended cameo as his character does pretty much nothing for the majority of the film, and then the entire film is undermined by that stupid Shyamalan twist. Turns out superhumans are real and there’s a big cover up. Oh great! So not only does it render the entire film pointless, it also undoes what made Unbreakable and Split so good. They’re no longer people capable of extraordinary feats via rational means. They’re just superhuman. They can do anything. Sigh.
Shyamalan... maybe it’s time to give up the director’s chair, yeah?
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Cats
Oh come on! Don’t act surprised! Did you honestly think I wouldn’t put Cats on this list?!
Cats, without a doubt, is the worst film of the decade and, yes, the CGI is terrible. Not only are there these sub-human cat mutants running around, we also have mice and cockroaches with child faces, James Corden coughing up furballs, Taylor Swift trying to give the furries in the audience boners, Idris Elba looking disturbingly underdressed and Rebel Wilson being... well... Rebel Wilson. It’s a disaster of a film. And really, should we even be surprised? We all knew this was going to suck. And no it’s not because of the CGI. I thought the CGI in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu was creepy as well, but at least it had a decent script and good performances to back it up. No the reason why Cats sucked is because... it’s Cats. It’s always been that bad. No amount of ‘advanced fur technology’ was going to change that. It was still going to be a confused, plotless mess with one dimensional characters and bad songs.
The only consolation I had was that I didn’t waste money buying a ticket. A friend of mine snuck me into the premiere and we watched it in the projector room. The plan was to make fun of it and have a laugh, but we didn’t even do that because honestly there’s nothing to really make fun. There’s only so many times you can take the piss out of the CGI and honestly the film was just boring more than anything else. It doesn’t even have the distinction of being so bad it’s good like Sharknado or Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. It’s just bad, period.
I just hope we don’t see something similar happen to Starlight Express. Just think. Anthropomorphic, singing trains on roller skates. Shudder.
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Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker
Finally we have yet another cynical cash grab from Disney.
I confess I didn’t exactly go into The Rise Of Skywalker with an open mind. I was never all that keen on a sequel trilogy in the first place, and neither The Force Awakens nor The Last Jedi ever convinced me otherwise. Admittedly they weren’t bad movies. Just derivative and painfully uninspired, and I was expecting more of the same for Episode IX. What I got instead was quite possibly the worst Star Wars film since Attack Of The Clones. Yes, it’s that bad.
This film is very poorly made, filled with plot contrivances and logic holes galore. I lost count of the number of times the protagonists got into a dangerous situation because of Rey constantly wandering off like a confused toddler lost in a shopping mall. Oh and we finally find out who her parents were and it was quite a twist, but only because it was really stupid. Of course we didn’t see it coming because nobody would have guessed it would be something that moronic. I feel JJ Abrams’ stupid ‘mystery box’ philosophy is to blame for this. It’s derailed countless franchises before such as Lost and Cloverfield, and now Abrams has fucked up Star Wars because he’s obsessed with mystery for the sake of mystery and Disney are so lazy that they couldn’t be bothered to plan an actual trilogy out properly beforehand. Instead they just wing it, making it up as they go along, which led to Rian Johnson ‘subverting our expectations’ and left Abrams desperately trying to pick up the pieces. 
In fact a lot of The Rise Of Skywalker seemed designed specifically to appease people of both sides of the wide chasm The Last Jedi had created. The roles of characters of colour like Finn and Rose were significantly reduced, Poe and Finn don’t end up together because of homophobia, but we do see two women kiss in the background of one two second shot that could easily be cut out when they release the film in China, Kylo Ren gets his stupid redemption even though he hasn’t fucking earned it, Lando Calrissian shows up for no fucking reason, Rey is given ‘flaws’ relating to her parentage in order to combat those accusing her of being a Mary Sue, but they’re the boring kind of flaws that don’t have any real impact on her character, and that ghastly ship Reylo is made canon even though it makes no sodding sense in the context of this movie, let alone the whole trilogy. They even go to the trouble of baiting us with a FinnRey romance before pulling the rug out from under us. Then, just to add insult to injury, the film retroactively ends up making the entire original trilogy completely pointless. All because Disney wanted more dollars to put in their Scrooge McDuck money bin.
The Rise Of Skywalker, and indeed the entire sequel trilogy, should serve as a cautionary tale against the dangers of hype and nostalgia. The reason The Force Awakens was successful wasn’t because it was a good movie (because lets be brutally honest here, it really fucking wasn’t). It was because it gave gullible Star Wars fans warm fuzzies because it reminded them of A New Hope whilst tempting them with the vague promise that things might get more interesting later on. And when that didn’t materialise, quelle surprise, the fanbase didn’t take it very well. I would love to think that this will serve as an important lesson for the future when people go and see Disney movies, but who am I kidding? I guarantee at some point we’re going to get Episodes X, XI and XII and we’ll have to go through this sorry process all over again.
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So there we have it. The worst of 2019. May they rot forever in Satan’s rectum or wherever it is stories go to die. Tomorrow we’ll take a look at the other end of the spectrum. Yes it’s the Quill Seal Of Approval Awards! The best of the best! Who shall win? The suspense is killing me! Ooooh, I can’t wait! You’ll be there tomorrow, won’t you? Of course you will. How could you not?
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stressedlawsecretary · 6 months
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Today's Focus
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11.27.23 - Well, aside from running late and the weather sucking major ass it's not too bad for a Monday. Quiet at least.
Work - Whatever comes in. I'm all caught up with stuff from before the holiday so literally I'm waiting here for people to give me something to do.
Background Noise - I start the day with 108 in the Watch Later, and I'm staying there at least. I've got like three (3) categories of things in the Watch Later, so the plan is to watch a random video, a wrestling interview, and a podcast on former To Catch a Predator suspects.
I did watch like 20 videos from my Watch Later over the weekend; I just also added more this morning.
Study - It is Monday so it is case law day and here is my goals:
Three (3) testimonies from Emmett Till's murder trial
At least three (3) articles on environmental conservation in Australia
At least three (3) articles related to Moms for Liberty
303 Creative LLC v Elenis - both the Wiki article and the decision on Justia
At least five (5) pages of bill HR 5376
Complaint 01719
As for what I managed to do on Friday/over the weekend, I did well!
Read five (5) articles on environmental conservation in Australia
Read four (4) articles related to Moms for Liberty
Read three (3) of my saved Wiki articles
Read five (5) horror movie plots on Wikipedia
Read two (2) Wikipedia articles open on my phone
Read one (1) other random Wikipedia article
Read three (3) press releases
Extras - Okay it's Monday. I have to catbox, and I have to vacuum. Dinner should be easy (tortellini soup with chicken) so I'm hoping to be able to watch a couple of my saved Krapopolis and Bob's Burgers.
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nobodies-png · 5 years
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If each member was a language, what language would they be and why?
I’m assuming you mean from the OrgXIII so here you go ! This was an interesting question lolol - I had to look up and read a lot of articles on wikipedia to make sure I didn’t end up saying bad or weird shit bUT IT WAS SUPER FUN 
Xemnas :
Greek, probably ? The language and culture that rivaled Latin and Rome throughout history and despite it’s age, it MANAGES to still be a living language (if you think I overthink too much about metaphors and shit just wait till you read the rest of answers). It also fits all Scala Ad Caelum’s aesthetic inspired by Greece and all the shenanigans with the Norts ! 
 Xigbar :
LEET Speak just to give every homestucker a heart attack. Maybe just surfer speak, if it counts.  Xigbar would fit Latin perfectly - it’s a dead language and the source of many other languages just like Xigbar is the fucking source of many things that go down in KH. Cryptic and old, like him ! And considering his ties with the KHux Foretellers and such, it makes sense for him to be Latin, right ? 
Xaldin :
I literally have no idea why but I think of Portuguese when I think of Xaldin. I havE LIKE NO ARGUMENTS OR EXPLANATIONS, IT’S JUST A THING (tm) SO YOU’RE FREE TO ADD TO THIS. Or give him a different language to be w h e e z e.
Vexen :
You know when old people try to be hip and come up with shit like How o You Do Fellow Kids / I’ll Krump With You Sweetie ? Yeah that’s him Okay but honestly, when I was a kid I really liked the idea of Vexen just screaming shit in Latin whenever his experiments went wrong. Now that i’m older, I like to imagine the same thing except now he speaks a Slavic language. I wouldn’t be able to tell you e x a c t l y which one, though. But I guess also a language from north Europe would work, like Finnish or Swedish - mostly because the countries remind me of cold weather lol
Lexaeus :
Nghhhh, I wanna say either ASL/Sign Language or Braille - but i’ll go with Braille ! Lexaeus is a quiet man of a few words, so I think it suits him just fine to be a language that doesn’t need to be spoken. And we know he’s tactful and gentle, considering he does a lot of puzzles in his free time, so Braille seems perfect for him ! While he might not actually need Braille, Lexaeus would be that kind of guy who just teaches others how to read and tries to normalize the use of Braille !
Zexion :
A lot of people might give me shit for not making Zexion Latin bUT LIKE LISTEN. THIS SMART BOY WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE CHINESE/MANDARIN. Think about it, we’re talking about a super flexible language whose entonation can change the meaning of a sentence completely - yes, i’m talking about that one poem that only has ONE word and it still manages to be a fully fledged story. Like, i’m an artist, not a literary major but I still think that’s super smart and dope and i’ll gladly compare that to magic anytime. In retrospect, it matches Zexion’s illusion motif and complex character !
Saix :
Uhhhh, i’d say either Japanese or Russian. Cause both are languages with strong accents and pronunciations which suit Saix’s strong and firm character - and also because Russian reminds me of NASA and space for some reason and Japanese makes me think of that one tale about the rabbit on the moon. Also Japan puts a lot of emphasis in discipline, honor and loyalty too, traits that Saix shares.
Axel :
Axel is definitely Spanish. Not to be confused with the latino dialects from South America ! I’m talking Spain’s spanish ! And no, I didn’t choose this one because it’s an “exotic sexy firey language”, tRUST ME IT’S MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND IT’S ANYTHING BUT THAT - I chose spanish because it’s an abrasive and brash language. Most words (and the insults specially) give the feeling you’re about to spit on someone’s face and be a cocky disrespectful brat OR you’re just a super friendly and extroverted fella - it suits Axel’s previous ruthless mercenary personality with his current and contrasting kind, outgoing self. 50/50.
Demyx :
Okay hear me out, it’s been like 45 minutes since I went researching to write Demyx’s answer and I still don’t know if I have a proper one. I wanted to say a language from India, since it’s where his signature sitar originates from and what else can accompany a sitar better than the language of the place it was pretty much created in ? So researched Ravi Shankar, the Sitar Maestro and a super important figure in indian classical music. But I know barely nothing about that side of Asia, so i’m NOT exactly sure what language he spoke or used in his music ! Like I looked for his songs and they’re in Gujarati, but HMMMM, NOT SURE CHIEF. 
So if anyone feels like educating me on this subject, please go ahead. Otherwise I have to give Demyx the way us millennials talk and oH boy.
Luxord :
I’ll go with the obvious choice here : English. Like, back in the day, most people just HC’d Luxord as a britishman because of his mannerisms and etc etc - but like, it works for him ! He’s closely tied to Alice and Wonderland in both the game and the manga, as well as Pirates of the Caribbean like come on it’s rIGHT there. Also imo, british English just sounds like super polite and elegant, the way Luxord acts most of the time.
Marluxia :
Either German or the language of flowers. German because it’s That Type Of Language™ that seems to have a word for every specific thing, action and feeling no matter how obscure - which kinda seems to suit him somehow ? A language with a rough appearance, intimidating to most people due to the hard sounds but eloquent, deep and extensive ! The other option is pretty obvious, considering his power with nature and stuff - Marluxia is definitely the time to give bouquets and flowers as gifts with double edged meanings and intentions. 
Larxene :
The only one that comes to mind is French. Just cause I think Larxene reads french literature in the 358Days manga - but like, dark and smart stuff only Intellectuals™ can understand. And also because it’s a tricky language to speak properly (LISTEN I TOOK 5 YEARS OF FRENCH AND I STILL DIE WITH ALL THE VOWELS). There’s just something about the way it’s spoken that screams her name. It’s fast paced, coquettish, sounds mature, there’s a lot of sharp sounds. Y’know !
Roxas :
Not specifically a language, but Roxas reminds me of the mix every bilingual person speaks sometime when they can’t remember a specific way of saying or explaining something. Or when your group of friends is mostly bilingual too and y’all just mix both languages and it’s a fucking mess for outsiders ? ( Like “Me cago en la fucking madre que te parió” o “I swear to god pOR QUE ERES ASI” are examples from the groupchat I am, wheeze). So probably Spanish and English ! 
Xion :
I’m torN AGAIN between ASL/Sign Language and Braille. But I think i’ll go with sign language ! Not to get Deep and Philosophical, but Sign Language seems to fit Xion, someone whose voice was silenced by those around her. We know she’s timid and quiet, but she’s also young and energetic, quick and witty around her friends - so unlike Lexaeus who’d calmly read using Braille, Xion is the type who’d sign at the speed of sound when excited or panicking and she’d enjoy sending secret messages to her friends. 
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sunsetscurving · 5 years
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Oh, Cruel Fate (enemies to lovers AU)
Ch. 1 
Okay this is the first chapter for my enemies to lovers fanfiction and I really hope you guys enjoy it!! note: english is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes!
The Demaurys and the Lallemants had been enemies for over one hundred years. And when Lucas first meets Eliott, he hates him with his whole heart even without knowing him, blaming him and his family for his life which is slowly falling apart. But when they are forced to live alongside in the same surrounding, something is changing between them. And this scares Lucas more than anything else.
Wikipedia
Demaury-Lallemant feud
The Demaury-Lallemant feud started in 1900 in Paris and was one of the biggest family feuds of the 20th century. Till this day, it is still unknown what the fight between the two families triggered and why there was this sudden rivalry. Sources say that the question of money or ground property was in the center of this fight. Since the Demaurys and Lallemants are still important and highly respected in the Parisian society, the feud is still present in these days, now already going into the third generation.
Feud
Media
Demaury genealogy
Lallemant genealogy
See also
References
Further reading
External links
Lucas sighed deeply and leaned back against in the seat of the bus, shutting his phone down and putting it into his jacket. Some would say that it was a life goal to have a Wikipedia article about yourself and your family but for Lucas, it was only another reason why he would love to have another surname. But he was what he was: Lucas Lallemant – youngest son of Madeline and Jack Lallemant, heir to his name and the business of his family. Lucas mouth tucked into a smile. In his head, this sounded like some cringey romance history movie where he was the hero and would save the princess, the country and the world in general. But the reality was different. Very, very different.
The bus stopped and Lucas got out of it, standing in front of a big school which was guarded to the teeth. People were streaming in and out of his, greeting Lucas as if he were his best friend.
Fake. All of them. No one even knew his favorite color. They only knew that he was “fame” and had a lot of money – that was enough for most of the people in this time. There was never be a doubt that his parents would send Lucas to this school – the best and most elite school in whole Paris. Only the upper-class and the most respected families got a place on this school. This way, their son would get more education than the Demaurys could even effort. All of this, his whole life, was based on the fact to let the Demaurys suffer.
And if he wouldn’t have been raised to hate ever member of the Demaurys, he would hate them alone for that, for the control they had over his life.
It was the first day after the summer holidays and although Lucas had enough time to relax, he felt not relaxed at all. Maybe it was the fact that he was out drinking and dancing and hooking up with boys the whole summer, his friends always dragging him to the best and most illustrious parties.
The guard opened the door for him, greeting him with his name and even an indicated bow. As if Lucas was some kind of prince. He rolled his eyes lightly as he passed the guard and entered the courtyard.
It had never been a secret that a Lallemant visited this school. Lucas’ brothers were members of this school before and so it was no surprise that Lucas changed to this school two years ago.He has always been proud to be a member of this highly respected family. But in the last years, things went bad. Really bad. For his family and himself. Things happened which made him realize, that this feud between the Lallemants and Demaurys was justified. Things happened that Lucas could never forgive. And although the feud was never fought out in the inner circle of their families, the public knew not half of the things that happened. They would never knew what the Demaurys did to Lucas’ mum and that the Lallemant family slowly grew apart although they should stick together now more than ever and that Lucas often wished for a different life.  A life, where the Demaurys didn’t exist.
“Luuuuuuuucaaaaaaaaaaas!”
Lucas was distracted in his thoughts when a loud voice was calling his name over the courtyard. He looked up and a smile was forming on his lips as his best friends came over to him.
“Long time no seen”, said Yann and greeted his best friend with a handshake. Lucas laughed lightly and shook his head.
“Only like 25 hours, non?”
Yann was now beaming with a grin.
“Aww, honey, you count the hours were I’m not with you.” Lucas opened his mouth, ready to protest, as Yann bumped his elbow into Basile’s rips.
“He’s in love with me. He always has been”, Yann said to Basile and wiggled with his eyebrows. The protest died on Lucas’ lips because of a laugh fighting its way out of Lucas’ mouth. Lucas went over to Yann and threw his arms around his neck, looking into this longingly as if he was his lover.
“Oh, Yann. You’re so right. You’re the love of my life.”
All of them laughed and Arthur laid an arm around Lucas’ shoulder, pulling him from Yann away, as they went inside together. Lucas was into men as long as he could think – it was never a problem for anyone and those who had a problem with that were kicked out of Lucas’ life. Since he was someone who was always in the spotlight of the problems from his family, his social media accounts were overflowing with followers and messages. When he first started to go to this school, things went really badly and he got a lot of hate on social media and in real life regarding his sexuality and his family in general. Teenagers can be crueler than any adult because they feel stronger while putting down someone else, projecting their own problems on the life of a public figure. But all of this only made him stronger – he learned to ignore hate messages, he learned to be in line with his sexuality and the feelings towards men. And his friends supported him in every decision he made and got his back when someone crazy thought to put someone like Lucas Lallemant down.
“I don’t think you’re Lucas’ type, Yann. All the boys Lucas hooked up with were a lot taller and had messy hair. Not like you. I’m more of his type.”
Lucas rolled his eyes for the second time today and shrugged out of Arthurs’ grip.
“So, now we analyze the men I hook up with? Why don’t we analyze the girls you made out with, Arthur?”
Arthur lifted his eyebrows and a smugly smile appeared on Lucas’ lips.
“Oh, I forgot: You haven’t hooked up with anyone lately, right?”
“OOOOOHHHHH” Yann and Basile laughed and Arthur couldn’t stay serious for even one second, although he really tried.
“Sorry Arthur, but he gotcha.”
Lucas laughed and felt his mood lifting up immediately whenever he was with these dorks. Whenever he was with his real friends. When you were a member of the Lallemants or Demaurys, you had a lot of people admiring you. Wanting to be your friends. Wanting to be part of the fame that goes alongside with the family name. Lucas stopped to read his DM’s on Instagram, most of the time it were people asking him to take them with him to that party or this event. To an event where Lucas himself would gladly stay at home with his friends, playing video games or getting drunk while eating some Pizza. But these nights were rare. Even rarer with Lucas getting older and more responsible for the name of his family.
Suddenly, the mood seemed to shift. Lucas could nearly feel as the air changed. His friends seemed to realize it too, their steps getting slower. He frowned and stopped, looking around.
People were whispering, their eyes bright with some new, exciting news. Lucas was used to people speaking behind his back, sharing gossip he couldn’t give less a fuck about. But today was different. There was not a giggle, no chuckle in these whispers. Only pure seriousness. Excitement. Confusion. And maybe even… Fear?
“What is happening here, putain?”
The usual loud hallway was quiet, people whispering, not allowing themselves to be louder as they spread some rumors. Rumors which affected Lucas because every gaze of every person was fixed on him, as he passed them.
“Let’s just go to class”, Lucas murmured and pulled the boys with him. He sat down in the back, next to Yann and chatted with him, trying to ignore all the stares which were even heavier than usual.
“Something is about to happen, Lulu”, Yann suddenly said and Lucas frowned.
“You watched too many Netflix shows, Yann. This is just the usual gossip. Maybe someone heard that I will leave my family and my name behind and become a monk in Germany. Or something like that. I actually don’t care at all.”
“But this is something different. As if we are all waiting for something to happen.”
“Yeah, I’m waiting for this day to be over so I can go back to my bed and get some sleep.”
“Dear Students.”
Lucas and Yann stopped their talk and turned around as the teacher came into class. And suddenly, Lucas was excited too. As if something was really about to happen. Yann and his stupid ideas – in the end it would only be an announcement for a new lunch menu.
“Welcome to the new school year. I hope you had some great holidays. We got a new student here today and I want to introduce him properly to you all.”
Lucas eyes narrowed and he suddenly got a bad feeling.
His eyes shifted to the door, as someone entered. He was tall, messy hair, bright eyes, a backpack slung over one shoulder. He was not smiling but Lucas could feel that his smile would light up the whole room. All in all, he was one of the most attractive man Lucas ever saw. He unconsciously leaned forward, a hand going through his own messy hair, a little smile forming on his lips. In the corner of his eyes, he found Yann watching him as if he knew how Lucas would react to that new boy. Suddenly, the eyes of the new boy were on him and his heart skipped a beat, catching Lucas off guard. His eyes held worlds in them.
“Would you like to introduce yourself?”, The Teacher asked with a sweet smile and the boy nodded shortly. He took one step forward, hands lazily in his pockets as if new days at elite schools were nothing new to him. The eyes of the boys found Lucas’ again and he could feel how the whole class seemed to hold their breaths.
“Hey. This is my first day at school after having a break for one year. I’m 22 years old and my name is Eliott Demaury.”
A gasp went through the class and he could feel how Yann went rigid next to Lucas. And Lucas could do nothing and watch as his world suddenly turned upside down within one tiny second, with the name of one man.
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moneywitcher · 4 years
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How to Make Money as an Artist (24 Ways in 2020)
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If you are an artist struggling to make money, then this article is for you. I will be showing you 24 different ways how you can make money as an artist, without paying anyone anything. I wrote this article from my own research experience and knowledge in how to make money as an artist.
MAKE MONEY AS AN ARTIST online
So, for those of you who are a little bit skeptical about making money online as an artist read till the end. Because I'll be telling you how to use online platforms to make money in real life & physically face to face.
1. SELL original artworks on Saatchi Art.
So if you have a lot of artworks then take good pictures, upload on Saatchi art. Why Sell on Saatchi Art? Artists Represented in 100+ CountriesWorks Sold to Collectors in 80+ Countries12M+ Monthly Page Views1.6M+ Monthly Visits1.1M+ Social FollowersPrinted Catalogs Sent to 1M+ Households18 International Shows & Fairs Annually Reaching 150K People You create a free account (again free) you don't pay anyone anything. Once they approve your account you'll be able to sell your works there. Every month there are more than 1.6 million monthly visits to Saatchi art. I'm pretty sure you can acquire some of the traffic to your page and sell your works. For each work so they take 35% commission. It might sound like a lot but is not too much considering that a real gallery would take 50% at least as a commission. Also they arranged the pickup. Once the work is sold you put it in a box and the logistic company of Saatchi art will come to your studio to pick up the work and send it to the collector. So for 35% Commission they arrange not only the traffic but also the pickup is a fair deal. 7 HIGH PAYING WORK AT HOME JOBS THAT PAY OVER $100 DAY OR MORE!
2. sell original artworks on Art Finder.
When you join Art Finder, you join the art marketplace: a friendlier, fairer world for independent artists. Why you should join Art Finder: Reach a global audience of more than 500,000 art loversTake control of your store, your pricing and listings and get performance stats and insightsJoin an international community of independent artists and receive exclusive benefits, including partner discounts and access to our artist forumSecure, fast and fair payments: Art Finder takes commission on artwork sales only (much lower than bricks and mortar galleries)Dedicated support and tools to help you build your career* They take 33% or 40% commission depending on the seller plan you have subscribed. It's very similar to Saatchi art but Art Finder has a slightly different clientele. I would say it's a younger, more lively also more affordable art collector. So if your art is watercolor, smaller size then maybe it's better to sell on Art Finder than Saatchi Art. It's your choice. 7 BEST PASSIVE INCOME IDEAS ONLINE IN 2020 (THAT EARN $1000 PER MONTH OR MORE!)
3. selling Art on society6.
Society6 will pay you 10% as artists royalty. Why Sell on Society6? Showcase Your Artwork: Whether art is your main focus or your side hustle, we offer you the opportunity to exercise yourself creatively and showcase your work on an ever-expanding range of products.Variety of Products: We offer a best-in-class array of wall art, home decor, furniture, apparel and lifestyle products for you to enable; and our dedicated merchandisers are always looking for new and high-quality products to add to your shop.Focus on What Matters: Wherever you are in the world, we have a team of experts that will fulfill, print, ship, market and handle customer service—all for you so you can get back to creating.Find Your People: We attract millions of diverse, art-focused customers from across the world looking to discover new artists and add unique designs to their everyday. You don't need to do anything. Once you hit the button upload and sold your artwork. They will print your artwork and ship them to buyers. All you need to do is wait for the money to you. 10% passive income is not so bad considering that you don't need to do anything. FASTEST WAY TO MAKE $5,000 AS A COMPLETE COPYWRITING BEGINNER
4. selling art on Red Bubble.
Red Bubble is the biggest rival it's the biggest competitor to Society6. And they are very very similar. However Red Bubble gives you 20% payout with some modifications, depending on different scenarios but 20% is better than 10%. If you would like to get more money possible out of the royalty so Red Bubble maybe is a better choice for you
5. selling commission works on Facebook.
Perhaps you know Facebook You can sell on marketplaces you can sell secondhand, new things or artworks or whatnot. However maybe you have not tried the groups you can join the niche groups or local groups such as the digital artist group, the oil painting group, the landscape group, there's so many groups you can join. Then you just share your artworks within the group, so that people can tell you how much they love your work. Some customers might be getting in touch with you directly on Facebook for commissioned pieces. I know some artists who are making a full-time living from selling commissioned pieces on Facebook within the groups. And in the future you can charge 'Libra', which is the currency of Facebook. So keep your eyes open maybe one day you'll be making a lot of Libras on Facebook.
6. asking for monthly donation on Patreon.
You can ask for a monthly donation from your followers on social media to ask them to pledge 1 to 5 to 50 dollars every month. So you can support yourself as an artist and meanwhile you can give back to your community. Some exclusive content or you don't have to give anything if you don't want. But you just have to find ways to retain them so you can have monthly patrons to give you.
7. asking for one soft donation on Kickstarter.
There are many website like Kickstarter, like IndieGoGo, GoFundMe. If you have an interesting project that would require a lot of funding that you don't have, you can ask our Kickstarter. For example if you are a photographer you want to go to Antarctic to create a photo album. You can say you're going to launch this project you need $50,000 and for each donor you can give like art print or photo album. Whatever that you think is appropriate for the different tiers and then attract them to give you a donation. The thing is you must fulfill the project if you don't carry out, you'll face serious problems not legally but with your reputation as an artist. So make sure that you will carry out the project and see it through.
8. selling online courses on Skillshares.
I'm talking about online courses I'm not talking about your online courses. You can sell other people's online courses. And each new subscription you refer to you will get $10 commission from Skillshares. Of course you can also launch your own courses on Skillshares and receive a portion of the profit on Skillshares. But it's depending on how many minutes people watch your courses and it's really hard to predict. I cannot tell you how much you will be making, but what I can tell you for sure is for each new student they give you 10 bucks.
9. selling more courses on Udemy.
Udemy is the largest online II course platform they have over 30 million students around the world. Udemy is more like the marketplace for everything. but Skillshares is slightly more towards the art and craft skills. So Udemy is bigger but it's not as niche. You have to see if there are existing courses that you want to launch to see you the level of competition. If Udemy got you a student you get 50% that means the 50% is the commission. If a student purchases your course with a coupon code that you provide then you get 97% that is to say you only pay 3% commission to Udemy as the service. So it's really minimal that they ask if you have a lot of potential students who want to study with you Udemy's better than Skillshares because you get paid 97% it's a really good deal.
10. tutoring online using Preply.
Preply is an online educational platform that pairs students with private tutors on the internet using video chat. So you don't really see the students, but is a real-time face-to-face online tutoring. If you enjoy talking to other people on the Internet instead of facing a computer like on camera then Preply is a better choice for you. They take a 100% commission on the first course of the first time student and after that they will take 18% to 33% depending on how many hours you teach. And how many students you have, the more student you have the less commission you pay with Preply.
11. licensing your illustration on iStockphoto.
I have used iStockphoto before and I thought it was only for photos. but now there is a special section for illustration. If you'd like to license your illustration at iStockphoto you will receive a small artist royalty for each download. And the good thing is if they use your artwork they mention your name and the fact is they pay you to promote your work, I would say it's one stone two birds. You get the money and you get the exposure that you always wanted.
12. applying for artist residency with stipends on ResArtis.
This is a bit of controversy personally I don't like this idea that you will apply for residency again and again to get stipends. I think it's not a sustainable way because what if one day you settle down you want to start a family you're not gonna take your one-year-old to the artist residency just to get the stipends. It's not sustainable, but in case if you are a young artist or if you want to travel to a foreign country but you don't have the money then maybe it's a good idea. ResArtis is like the Wikipedia of or the Airbnb of artists residencies. Many artists residences pay ResArtis to list on their listings. So you can see they are fairly legit because they pay to publish their listings. Choose the ones with stipends and apply individually.
13. creating videos on YouTube.
After acquiring 1000 subscribers and 4,000 watch hours you will get monetized using Google Adsense. If you're not sure 2020 if it's a good idea to open your YouTube channel as an artist. Don't worry this is the best time to start your YouTube channel. This is a good idea if you are creating content anyway and you'd like to share on YouTube. Just be patient because you will need approximately 1 year to reach the 1000 following and 4000 watch hours.
14. brand endorsement IN Instagram or other social media
Instagram is the most popular for visual artists. That's why I say Instagram typically once you reach 50,000 followers on Instagram people will start to DM you. Saying hey can you give me a shout out for 50 bucks a 100 bucks 200 bucks. And it's your choice to accept or reject those brand endorsement and deals.
15. make money streaming videos on Twitch.
You can become an affiliate, a partner or streamer on Twitch. Basically people pay to watch your live streaming on Twitch. And if you can attract enough people to pay you. You can make decent money really depending on what kind of content you stream online. If you have enough people interested both using Twitch and interested in your niche. Really depends so I cannot tell you how much you will be making but there are a lot of potentials. Because Twitch is growing more and more as a social media
16. print on demand store using Printful.
You can make print on demand merchandising, art prints using Printfy. You need normally a store front like Shopify, Big Cartel and attract your followers to click on those links and purchase. It will be fulfilled directly from the Printfy warehouse to the clients and it does not go through you. So you do not need to worry about the logistics.
17. affiliate marketing on Amazon.
If you would like to do product reviews and you like to try out new gadgets or new art supplies. Then it's a good idea because you can try them out and then make your own review on YouTube or any other social media. And then drop a link down below for every purchase provided using your link Amazon will give you a share of it, so it adds up. I know people can make a full-time living using affiliate marketing of certain art supply and canvas and books and whatnot on Amazon.
18. self-published your photo album or art book using blurb.
Blurb is an American self-publishing platform. that enables you to share publish produce promote. And whatever you want with your content and publishing a book. So it's like the Printfy for books. It's very useful if you want to make like children's books or photo albums. You can easily produce eBook using InDesign or the Blurbs it's own online kind of plug-in. I have used the blurb to produce a photo album before for a private event and it worked pretty well so I like them and I'll say it's a good idea.
19. freelance design work at Upwork.
Upwork is a trending market place for freelance gigs. It takes 20% commission for the first $500 billed with the client, 10% for the earnings between $500 and $10,000 and 5% for earnings that exceed $10,000. I would say is pretty fair the more you earn the less commission. You pay you can dedicate some time over the year and earn some money doing freelance design works. Logo design illustration jobs and make 10,000 and pay 5% commission it's really good deal.
20. micro gigs on Fiverr.
I have used Fiverr personally and I think it's pretty cool you start with 5 dollar gig, micro gig. And then after once you complete you will unlock the possibilities of charging more than 5 bucks, you can charge 50, 500 however you want Fiverr takes 20% commission.
21. offering other freelance works on freelancer.
Freelancer.com is for freelance works, I mean it's like no-brainer. It's the world largest freelancing and crowdsourcing platform in the number of users and projects It has over 16 million users globally. I would say that's a lot of people using freelancers.com. Freelancer works with large corporations like Microsoft SAP PWC. So if you are a good team worker and you have experience working in companies. also if you have some kind of certification saying that you can work in a team like Prince2. I'm just saying like that, you can become like art director and you can work with large corporations that is also good for your CV and contacts.
22. making art and craft experiences on Airbnb.
Airbnb experienced is like another branch apart from Airbnb main service for the rooms and apartments. You don't need to provide your room you can say you provide a museum tour experience a street art hunt experience. Photo experience those kind of experiences that you don't even need a physical place to host and you can charge $20 $50 $60 per session for the museum tours you can include some light beverages if it's like a sit-down workshop. Go and do a research on Airbnb Experience and see what other people are doing in your local community so you can come up with your own ideas
23. hosting art events are talks and workshops on Meetup.
Personally I pay $9.99 every month to use meetup service as a host. However if you don't want to pay anything I tell you a trick. For every host (paying host) there is a 3 meetup group allowance that is to say if I only have one meetup group. I'm wasting two group opportunities, if you want you can get in touch with other people and say hey you're not hosting 3 groups, aren't you? So I can host with you and I'll give you like share for example or anything. I'll give you like you know how much you wanna give and you negotiate you can charge people for art workshops, children drawing, figure drawing life drawing kind of sessions and you can charge anything from 5 bucks - 50 bucks or 150 bucks per session. You can share the profits with the co-hosts who is paying meetup, so you don't have to pay anything upfront and in the future you can pay $9.99 every month this is the probably the best app you can use so $9.99 is really a good deal. And depending on different plans where you're in the world you will pay more or less but it's not a lot of money considering how much you can get from them last but not least.
24. teaching art using Heytutor.
Heytutor is one of the many website help people find local tutors. So if you want to become an art tutor you want to draw with a young kids adolescents or young adult. You can become a tutor and then select your student. If you are outside of the USA you can just search another equivalent of heytutor in your local area. Go to the search engine and say 'art tutor near me' or 'find me an art tutor' and you will see many websites in your local area the best part is you can get to sit down with a young person and you can have a major influence in their art career. That is really the perks of being a tutor I personally enjoy teaching very much because of the influence the impact. Also I learned so much from teaching someone else so for those of you who want to do more face-to-face things you can host Airbnb experience, Meetup workshops and Heytutor or other kind of tutor sessions using those online platforms.
CONCLUSION
Now you have heard 24 different ways to make money. Read the full article
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juroguro · 5 years
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@trifiesta woahhh am i late or am i late!! anyway, sad boi hours. this is the au prompt. it’s based off of this (but i’d read it after). yeehaw.
When Yokozawa would look at the headstone, he would only read the name printed. It wasn’t ignorance, it was coping. The dates, the cause, the quote, the religious engravement that the parents wanted but he didn’t: Yokozawa turns a blind eye to that. But the name, oh, the name. Yokozawa speaks it to himself as he places the flowers at its base, hugging the stone, kissing the granite. Lilies, carnations, chrysanthemums. Masamune, Masamune, Masamune. Kissing dark granite. I miss you so, Masamune, Masamune. Red roses. Masamune. I miss you, Masamune.
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Yokozawa visits the grave of his beloved weekly since the day he took his own life (forget those words!). It was overkill, everyone said it was overkill. His mother: “Overkill.”; his father: “Overkill.”; every past and every future lover: “Overkill.”; his cat, even, glaring at him: Overkill. But, for Yokozawa, it was coping. It was letting go. It takes years for some to let go. It takes decades.
But it seems, for some, it only takes seconds. The grave beside Masamune’s reads the strangely familiar name “Oshiro Takehiko.” He did look at the date for this one. It was very close to Masamune’s passing; he can remember the freshness of the tilled earth of that patch on the day of Masamune’s funeral (stop thinking of it!). But there were never flowers, never gifts, not even on holidays, not even the anniversary. It made him feel sick. How could no one care?
How could I not care?
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The twenty-fifth of December is not Christmas, it is Masamune’s birthday. It was a day meant for Yokozawa to shower him with gifts and affection: red roses (they were Masamune’s favorite), dark chocolates, lots of hugs and kisses and rubs to keep warm. Was it sick for him to be excited?
Yokozawa treads along the frozen ground of the cemetery, taking the path he had memorized long ago. Thankfully, no other families were visiting in the area (especially Masamune’s!), so Yokozawa could spend as much time as he wanted.
When he sees the monument— a smooth, rounded rectangle— Yokozawa feels his cheeks light up. “Hi, Masamune.” He dips his head in prayer for several minutes before sitting beside him; the lot next to him was still not taken, “How are you?”
Masamune doesn’t respond. He’s been quiet recently.
“Well,” Yokozawa rubs the back of the tombstone, “Happy birthday!! Your twenty-sixth, huh? I brought you some gifts.” He reveals a bag of chocolates and beer, as well as a big bouquet of flowers. “Let’s celebrate!” He cracks open a can of Usagi, taking a few swigs before pouring the rest into the frozen earth.
A sudden chilled breeze comes in, whipping back Yokozawa’s hair and tickling his cheeks. He smiles a melancholy smile and leans his head on the stone. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you like it.”
Yokozawa talks for an eternity, about work, about missing him at work. He thinks of the bad thing and cries a bit. He drinks more, he eats more chocolates. His lips turn bluish. “I miss you, Masamune,” running his hands up and down the smooth rock, cursing at the chips that roughen his fingers, “I miss you. Masamune, Masamune. I love you, Masamune. I love you. You know I still love you, right?”
A chilled breeze. He cries more.
When Yokozawa feels himself getting too delusional and a bit more than tipsy, he begins packing up. The rest of the beer is dumped into the ground, leftover chocolates sitting at the stone’s base. Yokozawa decorates his grave with flowers and kisses him goodbye, a slow, meaningful goodbye. “I’ll visit next Sunday, okay?”
He turns to his right and sees the empty grave. When all the others are filled with gifts, Takehiko’s is empty. A lump in his throat.
“Forgive me, Masamune.”
One rose from the bouquet is transferred a meter over. Yokozawa bows his head. “...Merry Christmas, Oshiro-san.”
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Yokozawa sits at his desk, searching through survey results with little enthusiasm. His brain can’t stop thinking about Masamune, about today’s cemetery visit. If he’s not there, talking and being near him, he’s daydreaming about it. He’s waiting, always waiting. And as much as he wants to believe this is about letting go, he knows it’s about obsession.
Miss you.
Yokozawa began to develop a comradery with the man that lays next to his love, they were both lonely, both constantly waiting. The single flower Yokozawa liked to leave at Oshiro-san’s grave every few visits has turned into the deceased’s personal bouquet. Yokozawa feels guilty for delivering the flowers; he has a fear that Masamune will feel abandoned or jealous or lonely too.
“They’re both dead,” he can hear his mother scolding him in his head, “Why do you care?”
And he doesn’t know. He doesn’t.
Oh god, Yokozawa grinds his knuckle into his jaw, There’s something wrong with me.
Fully aware that the work he was getting done was negligible, he gives up. A new tab opens; Google. He types in Oshiro’s name, hoping that this doesn’t count as being intrusive or disrespecting the dead. Those worries leave his mind, however, when the search recommendations pop up. Oshiro Takehiko murder, Oshiro Takehiko victims, Oshiro Takehiko suicide (bad word!), Oshiro Takehiko pregnant women, Oshiro Takehiko crime scene: his stomach turns sour.
After a near hour of reading Wikipedia articles and getting progressively sicker, he realizes he’s made a huge mistake. His graveyard friend, Oshiro Takehiko, was apparently a serial murderer of heavily pregnant women and Yokozawa feels so, so very ill. He makes a small list of victims and their burial places and changes his afternoon plans. Breaking his promise to visit Masamune felt awful, but the fact that he was regularly delivering flowers to a serial killer surpassed that.
“Yokozawa-san?”
The salesman spins around in his chair, quickly going back to the page of data. “W-What?”
Henmi scratches the back of his neck, “Um, didn’t you say you had to leave for a doctor’s appointment at 3?”
He wets his lips, craning his neck to check the clock: 15:25. “Oh,” he flashes a smile, “I completely forgot.”
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Kirishima Sakura, the first victim, was stabbed to death in the kitchen of her apartment. Her husband, after being woken by screaming, called 119 quickly. She died quickly in the ambulance, Miraculously, though, the baby survived: a little girl. She was buried in Aoyama cemetery and had a private funeral. Now, somewhere, there’s a ten-year-old girl with no mother. Yokozawa sends his wishes with the biggest bouquet he’s ever bought.
He searches through the cemetery for the headstone; he got directions from the funeral home but forgot them right after. After far too long, Yokozawa seems to have found it; he recognizes the large oak tree the keeper was talking about. There’s an issue, however.
A man and a little girl have their heads dipped in prayer. The man’s back shakes erratically; Yokozawa can hear him cry. They hold hands.
Shit. Yokozawa stands a few meters away, waiting for them to finish. Bad timing.
The man wipes off his tears on his sleeve and turns around to leave—
“Yokozawa-san?”
Shit. Worst timing.
Yokozawa recognized him instantly, immediately getting red in the face. He always screamed at this guy during print-run meetings, always shot him dirty looks for days after them, and never thought of him, his home life. He did hear rumors though, ones that he can’t remember a lick of. Kirishima Zen, editor-in-chief of Japun magazine, approaches him with tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes. “What a-are you doing here?”
Shiiiiiiiiiiittttttt. Yokozawa intensely stares at the ground. “I— um, well…” He looks at the little girl, her glossy eyes. “I… Ah, this is such a weird situation. It’s just, um, there was this guy at this other cemetery that I visit a lot and he never got any flowers so I felt bad about it and started giving him flowers too and then I just looked his name up and oh my God, I’m an idiot and he…” Face completely red, he looks up at Kirishima. He makes the shape of “oh” with his lips but doesn’t make a sound. “S-So I wanted to come and b-bring her some flowers because oh God I’m an awful person and I want to make it up to her and you and everyone else—”
“Yokozawa-san,” he chuckles under his breath, “It’s fine. I’m fine, I mean. You don’t have to be careful. It was a long time ago.” He looks off to the side. “Thank you, though. Thank you so much.”
His mouth goes dry. He doesn’t really know what else to say. But Kirishima smiles at him and doesn’t try to hide it. Like he’s happy. “Why are you grinning like that?”
“What!?” he laughs, “Am I not allowed to smile now? Just because I’m a widow, doesn’t mean I have to be sad all the time.” The girl begins to tug on Kirishima’s leg, impatient. “It’s just, you talk very fast when you get nervous. It’s cute.”
Yokozawa would punch this guy in the face under any other circumstance, but right now, he blushes a deep crimson. “O-Okay…”
“Listen,” he musses the girl’s hair, “My Hiyori’s sleeping over at a friend’s house tonight so I’ve got no plans,” he pulls out his cell phone and flips it open, “If you’d like to go out for a drink or two, gimme a text.” He hands the phone over.
Maybe it doesn’t take years to let go, maybe not decades. Maybe all it takes is a good mug of beer and charming company.
“Okay.”
ao3 | ko-fi
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extremedivas · 5 years
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I just wanted to let you know that it was never proved that kenny dated hikaru. It started as a rumor on reddit. I love your blog btw!
Yes, Kenny Omega and Hikura Shida date each other in the past. Wikipedia article says it. Look it up on Kenny Omega and Hikura Shida. However, Someone update their Wikipedia page to remove the evidence that they use to date. Then trying to make it seem like Kenny Omega is dating Riho.
In fact Riho didn’t date Kenny Omega. You people are so messy as hell with this Kenny Omega dating other women wrestlers bullshit. You never fool a psychic when they see thing in the future. You guys need to stop creating fantasy and start focusing on reality. Because we are in the Scorpion season in Mercury Retrograde. In Scorpion Season which is moon in Scorpio .
Your masks and your true personality will be exposed or come out especially in Mercury Retrograde. If you guys wrote something about Riho and Kenny Omega is dating each other or spreading rumors about Kenny Omega. It’s will bite you in your ass. That’s why I don’t do tarot reading on Kota Ibushi and Kenny Omega relationships because of the Web lie you guys create it.
All I have to say I can’t wait till December 2019 and the year 2020. The truth about the Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi relationship. Enough said.
Extremedivas
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