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brokenbeskar · 1 year

Text

Urban Legends

Chapter 11 of Memories Reforged (Din Djarin x F!Reader)

Word Count: 6k

Summary: After your previous failed job, you and the Mandalorian have to find a way to repair your reputation with the guild A/N: Long time no see friends! Thank you all for being so patient during my *checks notes* OVER A YEAR LONG HIATUS? I posted a personal update if you want to know more, but im happy to be back and writing again! and im glad i got this out before the season 3 premier! I hope y'all enjoy!

You shoot awake, eyes wide and drenched in a cold sweat, heart racing as the lingering images of your nightmare slowly give way to the familiar cockpit around you. It’s like deja vu. The familiar low whirring sound of the engine, soft beeping from the control panel, and smearing starlight through the cockpit allowing you to relax and calm your breathing. How strange it feels to know that all of this could have been so different, yet you're still here. It feels like it’s been months, years even, despite truthfully only being a day and some change…but here you are. Back on the Mandalorian’s ship, back in hyperspace, waking up in the copilot's chair, as if you weren’t planning on never returning just days ago.

You sigh and run a hand over your face to wipe away some of the remaining sweat. As you lean back to acclimate to being awake, you glance over to your helmet resting on the dashboard. The blur of hyperspace illuminating its visor, and twinkling particularly bright along the seam of a crack through the corner of it. Each glint of passing stars an achingly familiar reminder of the cause.

“Morning.” You mutter to it, as if he could still somehow hear you, and quiet enough that no one else could. Almost like a secret, you muse to yourself.

You shake your head to rid yourself of the ridiculous thought and lean forward to pluck a few bounty pucks off the top of the nav comp. You shuffle through them and click one to life, reading through the information with a sigh. Nearly on cue you hear the familiar footfalls of your newest comrade, followed by the sound of the cockpit doors sliding open as the Mandalorian enters.

“Kid still sleeping?” You ask as he makes his way through.

“Yeah. Anything good?” He returns as he settles into his seat.

“Well, let’s see…” You shuffle through the set of pucks in your hand, holding them up as you list them off, “Missing person, another missing person, chump change for a bail jumper, and would you look at that!” you flick one to life and hold it out in your palm for him to see, “A teenage runaway with a misdemeanor from the mid rim!”

The Mandalorian stares at it for a moment in what you can only guess is frustrated disbelief, before turning away with a sigh.

“Karga is really fucking us over.” You toss the pucks back to where you grabbed them from and lean back into your seat.

“We’re lucky he gave us any at all.”

“We would have been better with nothing at all.” You retort, “They’re scattered across multiple sectors, they aren’t even worth enough to cover the fuel.”

“Well, unless you have any other ideas, we have to bring our reputation back up somehow or we’ll never get a decent job again.”

“That’s bantha shit!” You shout, drawing his gaze back to you, “One job shouldn’t have screwed us over that much. We turned her in! How many other hunters had her puck before us and couldn’t even get close? I know it wasn’t perfect, but we still did the job for fucks sake!” You groan in frustration before sinking into your seat defeated.

“There’s nothing we can do about it.” He reminds you, grabbing one of the pucks randomly to check the coordinates and put them into the nav comp.

You roll your eyes, bitterly crossing your arms. It’s true, there was nothing you could do other than get these jobs done as quickly as possible and hope you get some better ones soon…

Unless…

You quickly sit up straight and lean over the edge of your seat, shoving the Mandalorian’s hand out of the way and altering the ship’s route yourself.

“What are you doing?” He asks, irritated by your sudden brashness.

“We’re going to Carajam.” you reply nearly absentmindedly, brushing him off entirely as you continue to input the exact coordinates you have memorized by this point.

“Carajam? That’s halfway across the galaxy!” He grabs your wrist to stop you.

“You think I don’t know that?” You lock eyes with his visor, refusing to back down as you try to tug your wrist back.

“So then why would we go there?” He asks darkly and leans in slightly, probably as an attempt to intimidate you. And while you can admit he’s intimidating, he doesn’t intimidate you in the slightest.

You give him a sly quirk of a smile, “To give a little visit to an old friend of mine.”

He tilts his helm in question, so you clarify, “I get double the commission rate on guild bounties. Remember?”

It takes him a moment to figure out what you’re talking about, to remember your initial exchange when you first agreed to work together back on Jakku and split the reward for the bomber. You see the realization hit him all at once and he only gives a small hum of acknowledgement before releasing your wrist and opting to silently reroute the ship’s course himself.

“I’m glad we’re in agreement.” You state smugly, before leaning back into your seat, suddenly much more comfortable with that victory hanging over you.

----------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, Carajam being halfway across the galaxy wasn’t exactly an exaggeration on his part. So it’s not too long before you end up needing to take a pit stop along the way for fuel. Your first stop is on some smaller planet in the mid rim you never bothered to get the name of. It’s quaint, but the capital city you stopped in was well developed, a bustling city surrounded by lush green, a frequent running train passing overhead and far above the treeline to more remote areas. You definitely appreciated the balance between the latest developments while still maintaining the natural landscape.

“Fuel’s going to take a few hours.” The Mandalorian steps beside you, interrupting your admiration, “We should try to find some work while we’re here.” He follows your line of sight and peers out at the expansive treeline and sky train above. Watching silently beside you.

“Not sure there’s going to be much work here.” You reply, not breaking your gaze, “seems peaceful.”

“It’s usually the peaceful ones I find the most trouble in.” He argues, and you chuckle in agreement, finally breaking your gaze and turning to him instead.

“Guess we better get to work then.”

He turns back to you and nods, “Let’s split up, I’ll take the kid and start along the city’s perimeter.”

“Center stage, you got it.” You give him a little salute and waste no time turning on your heel towards the heart of the city, “Comm me if you get anything good!”

Walking through the city reminded you a lot of your time back on your home planet. You lived in a smaller “pit-stop” town, but when you were a kid your dad would take you to the capital city sometimes to get parts for the shop, or for a little day trip. It used to be the most exciting part of your boring everyday life. You remember how fascinating it was that things were so different despite being only a day’s trip away by train, and fantasizing how different things could be on different planets.

Funny enough, here you are, years later, several parsecs from your home planet, thinking how similar things are back home.

It’s easy to lose yourself in the buzz of city life. Reminisce about a simpler time, before the armor, before bounty hunting, before Ko’van even. A time when you simply ached to see the stars and explore the galaxy to see it for what it was. It’s that exact nostalgia that leads you into a local Caf shop. Nothing reminded you of home quite like freshly ground and roasted Caf.

A bell rings when you make your way inside, alerting the servers bustling about to welcome you in. Everything was different, yet so familiar. From the sound of grinding beans, to the sharp whistle of steaming milk, and the delicious aroma in the air, if you closed your eyes you almost could pretend you were getting ready to get behind the bar and make some drinks yourself. It was definitely busier than your little take out window back home. Plenty of patrons filled the establishment, idly sipping their drinks and absorbing the calm atmosphere, a sight you would have been envious of had things worked out a little differently for you.

When you approach the counter, a beautiful young local girl startles and quickly puts down the filters she was prepping, wide eyed and nervous from your presence alone.

“Were you ready to order?” She nervously asks, putting on her best customer service smile despite her palatable fear.

“Actually, I’m not from around here, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions?” You try to come off as friendly with a slight tilt of your helmet–but with the way her complexion visibly lightens, and the audible gulp that follows…you’re pretty positive your intentions aren’t coming across.

“Uhm…” Her voice quivers and she quickly looks around for any available coworkers to save her from the situation, but when she sees no one she turns back to you with a weary smile, “Let me…um…get my manager for you. Go ahead and take a seat, I’ll get a drink started for you while you wait!” She tries to diffuse a nonexistent conflict.

You try to tell her it’s okay! That you don’t need a drink. you can go somewhere else! But in her haste she ignores you and you end up deciding to take the seat anyways, not wanting to be rude after you nearly made her cry already just from walking in and existing in the same space as her. You don’t even drink caf anymore.

What a mistake.

Of course she would react like that. You let yourself get carried away in your memories that you forgot the reality of the present. The reality of what you seem like to other people. Trouble.

You’re mentally cursing yourself alone at a seat at the bar when, what you assume the manager, walks up to you with two drinks in hand.

“Excuse me,” She grabs your attention, “I heard you had a couple questions? Mind if I sit?” You readily offer the seat next to you, and she takes it, setting one of the drinks in front of you, cupping hers gently and holding it close, “Sorry for the girl at the register. She’s new and we don’t get many visitors…quite like you.” She picks her words carefully to make friendly conversation without offending you. A practice you used to know all too well.

“It’s not a problem, I should have known better really.” You feel the need to apologize, your own insecurity about not belonging here, eating away at you the longer you sit, “i’m visiting on business and caf shops always remind me of home so I decided to stop in.”

“Well, welcome home!” She jokes with a warm laugh, “That’s what caf is all about isn’t it? We made you the current house special, all of our syrups are made in house so it probably won’t taste like anything you’ve had back home, but I hope you enjoy it.” She takes a sip from her own cup, before addressing the obvious, “So, you mentioned you were here on business. What can I help you with?”

“I’m looking for work.” You state plainly. Not on purpose really, you’re just so caught off guard, out of your element. She was right, that IS what caf is all about, It really did feel like home. Every word out of her mouth you can practically taste out of your own. It’s like looking into a mirror–but more like a mirror to some alternate reality where you stayed in your small town instead of running away with a Mandalorian bounty hunter…if that makes any sense at all.

“What kind of work? With armor like that I think it’s safe to assume you aren’t going to be putting on an apron anytime soon.” Her lighthearted joke earns her a chuckle from you. If only she knew.

“No, no. I’m looking to see if you’ve heard of anything strange or unusual going on in town. Any upticks in crime? Unusual characters?”

She takes a moment to think with a hum as she takes another sip from her cup, unfazed by what most would probably assume to be an odd question, “No strange characters other than you…but actually now that you mention it. I did hear some gossip from some customers that some kids went missing playing near the forest’s edge some days ago.”

Bingo.

“Missing kids?”

“Yeah, sorry I don’t know the details, like I said it’s customer gossip–but I guess some kids were hanging out by the forest edge and none of them came home. The locals are chalking it up to some–I don't know–creature I guess,” She waves the thought away, dismissing it, “I don’t buy it, but I do hope they can get found and brought home safe and sound.”

A creature? Now this was interesting. You aren’t really sure if it’s the kind of lead you’re looking for, but it’s a lead so you’ll take it.

“Is that the kind of work you’re looking for?” She interrupts your thoughts.

“Honestly,” You start with a chuckle, “I’m not sure, but I’m happy to investigate.” You give her a kind smile she can’t see. Honestly you surprise yourself with how comfortable you’ve gotten in her presence. You don’t even know her name. You’ve only sat down with her less than 5 minutes and yet you feel the same comfort from her that you would feel with a life long friend.

“Well that’s great to hear, hopefully we can get those kids home safe and sound. If anyone is capable, it would be a Mandalorian for sure.” She flashes you the most charming smile and you feel your heart skip a beat in the worst way possible.

“Oh. Well, I’ll definitely do my best, but I’m no Mandalorian.” you confess.

“Oh!” She looks embarrassed, “I’m sorry, I just thought–with the armor–”

“No, you’re right it is! It’s just—” You struggle to try and find a way to remedy the situation, you don’t want her to be embarrassed at all, there's no way she could have known.

But how could you ever explain everything to her? Why would you? The illusion of comfort quickly fades away and all warm feelings of home quickly sour on your tongue.

“It’s complicated…” You finally breathe out in defeat, but that seems to settle her worry.

“Well, I wish you luck finding those kids, Mandalorian or otherwise.” She gives you one last parting smile before she stands from her seat, drink in hand, “I need to get back to work, but I’m glad I was able to help.”

And just like that she's gone.

You glance at the coffee cup she left in front of you.

The bar counter seems too big, too clean, next to it. The void of the counter dwarfing it. Isolating it from reality.

It hasn’t been long enough for it to lose its warmth, but for some reason you still expect it to be cold when you finally pick it up and leave the caf shop.

You don’t even like caf.

You decide to fill your comrade in on your lead as you start your trek back through the city, but it startles you when his voice crackles through before you even reach the toggle.

“I’ve got a lead.” His gruff voice cuts through the static, monotone and straight to the point.

“Funny enough me too. Mine’s a bit odd though not sure if it’s for us. What’s yours?”

“Mine too. Kids went missing in the forest, some kind of creature.”

You pause for a minute. Guess this was your kind of job then.

“Interesting. I got the same thing.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Creature and everything…Hope you like camping, tin man.” You chuckle.

“I’ll meet you at the ship.” And the comm line cuts.

What a buzz kill.

---------------------------------

When You finally make it back to the ship the Mandalorian is already rummaging inside the weapons locker preparing to gear up for the trip. The child sitting on the floor not too far off, sticking his head into an empty pouch, little fingers covered in crumbs from a previous snack. It’s gross, but in a charming kind of way.

“What kind of creature do you think it is?” You ask, watching the child wiggle around in the pouch.

“Don’t know.” He replies plainly. Boring.

“Maybe a Nexu?” You shrug.

“Don’t think those are native here.”

“Well, Rancor aren’t native to Naboo and we saw how that turned out.” Your smirk is obvious despite your helmet.

The Mandalorian halts his movements and slowly turns to look at you in what you can only guess to be displeasure.

“What?” You feign innocence with a knowing tilt of your helmet. He only shakes his head in exasperation from your antics and goes back to the weapons locker, sorting through ammunition.

“What’s that?” He asks, without turning back to you.

“What’s what?”

“In your hand.”

“Oh!” You hold up your disposable cup of caf to yourself completely forgetting you still had it, “It’s caf. You can have it if you want, though it’s probably cold now…”

You aren’t exactly sure why that statement sends a slight pang of guilt through your belly, but it does. You lower the cup and wrap both hands around it as if a phantom of the warmth could seep into your grasp despite the heat long gone from its contents.

The Mandalorian notices your shift in tone and pauses what he’s doing again, but when he turns to face you this time it’s gentler, nearly laced with concern if you didn't know any better. He leans his back against the side of the locker and tilts his helmet, as if investigating you for a moment.

“Don’t want it?”

“No. I hate caf.” The words come out too sharp, too bitter, “They wouldn’t let me leave without it though.” You add on lightheartedly, trying to correct your tone. The Mandalorian clearly doesn’t buy it, he watches you silently as you set the cold cup down on a crate and saunter over to your own supplies to rummage through your own things and pack for the trip.

You try to ignore the feeling of his lingering stare, it’s clear he wants to press the issue further, investigate your sudden change in tune, but he won’t. You know he won’t, and he knows you know that. So instead he lets it awkwardly hang in the air, hoping you’ll open up on your own accord, but that's definitely not happening.

“How many nights do you think we’ll be out for?” But he doesn’t reply, and you can still feel the irritating presence of his visor burning into the back of yours. You let out an irritated huff and turn to glare at him over your shoulder.

“What’s your deal?”

He still doesn’t answer, just stares at you, and you can feel the irritation starting to bubble up in your gut.

“What?!” You snap at him when he still doesn't answer, “I already told you that you can have it. Get a damn straw if you’re worried about your helmet.”

He doesn’t say anything. Just sighs and decides to leave it, turning back to his own packing when you angrily turn back to finish yours.

“And choke on it.” you mutter to yourself quiet enough he can’t hear you.

You only finish packing the bare essentials when you hear footsteps approaching the ship from the open ramp. By the time you get up to investigate, the Mandlorian has already made his way to the ramp entrance. You join him by his side and peer down as two local officers approach.

You and the Mandalorian quickly exchange glaces before looking back at the two officers. Not good. There were a million reasons for the both of you to be arrested just for standing on this ship alone, no way this could be good. You do your best to play it cool.

And by play it cool, you mean stand there and not say a word.

“High suns to you!” one of the officers greets you with a short wave, “Lookin’ for two Mandalorians.”

The both of you simply stand there.

“Guess we found ‘em.” The first officer mutters to the second with an exchange of a small glance before the second speaks up.

“The Major requested we escort you to his office.”

“What for?” The Mandalorian besides you shortly replies.

“He’s got a job proposal for you.”

“What kind of job?” It’s your turn now to give a curt response.

“Best you both come on down to hear it for yourself.” You and the Mandalorian turn to exchange a look once more. A sort of unspoken conversation. To run, or to cooperate?

-------------------------------

“I’d like to start by humbly thanking you both for agreeing to meet with me”

The Mandalorian and you stand out like a sore thumb in the mayor's office. It was a combination of the lack of professional, near corporate style dress, and the clear lack of wealth you two possessed in comparison to the far-too-large and extravagant office. The two of you were dwarfed in size standing in front of a desk large enough to threaten the empire, the tiniest of chess pieces positioned in the middle of a rug that looks as new as it did straight from manufacturing, and near insignificant compared to the view provided by floor to ceiling transparisteel, perfectly crafted without a single seem.

Though, looking over to your comrade and the way the view nearly reflects in his freshly polished beskar…maybe you stuck out moreso than him.

“What’s the job?” He dryly asks back, not bothering to return the pleasantries the mayor has offered, and the mayor visibly swallows in return.

“There’s been an incident.” He pauses and looks between the two of you, but when the both of you only offer silent helmeted stares in return he clears his throat and continues, “Children. Children have gone missing, along the forest’s edge.”

“We’re aware.” You respond far too fast. Your own slightly more polite way of telling him to get on with it. You don’t have all day. The more time he spends yapping about stuff you already know the longer he’s keeping you out of the field, and if there's one thing you’ve learned in your short time bounty hunting, it’s that time is everything.

“One of them was my niece.” He spits out, nearly shaking as he tries to contain all his bottled emotions. When you and the Mandalorian offer him nothing but the same unmoving blank stare he quickly shifts his gaze away from the both of you, breathing to compose himself before he continues, “This…creature has been plaguing my city for months. I’ve sent out hunter after hunter, but they always come back empty handed.”

“What kind of creature is it, exactly?” The mayor pauses and looks back at the Mandalorian with a glint of fear in his eyes, “I’ve only seen it once. It was dark. I’ve never seen anything like it before. It was large, had sharp teeth, glowing red eyes…” He squeezes his eyes shut and shudders at the memory, “It was the most horrible thing. Something of a nightmare.”

“Sharp teeth and glowing red eyes huh?” You can’t help the way the sarcasm oozes from your lips. This guy can’t be serious.

“Please! I know how it sounds, no one believes me!” he shoots up from his seat in desperation, “It’s true! I swear to you, I saw it with my own eyes! Everyone think I’m crazy, but now it’s got my niece and–”

“Alright alright…” You cut him off, you almost feel bad for the guy, even if this sounds like he had a night with one too many shots of spotchka “How much are you offering? We don’t work for free.”

“I’ll give you twenty thousand credits if you bring me back my niece unharmed.” He pauses and looks between you both as if considering you, “I’ll double it if you can bring the beast to me.”

“Double?!” you nearly choke. “Prove I’m not as crazy as everyone thinks, and yes. I’ll double it. Forty thousand credits.” The Mayor settles back down into his seat with the offer, folding his hands together in front of him, narrowing his gaze to show the both of you just how serious he was.

You and the mandalorian turn to each other at the same time, and without missing a beat you simultaneously reply,

“It’s a deal.”

---------------------------------

The mayor hadn’t given you guys much to go off of, he gave you some loose directions to where the kids were last seen, and whatever clues previous hunters had gathered before giving up, which truthfully, wasn’t a lot.

For now you and the Mandalorian walk through the forest, the kid fast asleep in his pram floating behind you, as you look for anything you can use as a lead. Footprints, any items from the kids, signs of a struggle, at this point even a broken branch would tell you more than whatever information you got.

“Sharp teeth and glowing red eyes,” You silently chuckle to yourself.

“What’s so funny?” The Mandalorian questions without looking at you, instead intently scanning the treeline.

“Oh come on, be real for a second, you don’t actually believe there's some kind of big scary creature out here, do you?”

“I don’t really think it matters.” He deadpans, and you frown.

“You’re a real buzzkill, you know that?”

He doesn’t reply. Just continues scanning his surroundings and back to the ground for tracks.

“Oh, I see what's going on,” you frown turns into a devilish grin behind your helmet and you trot ahead a few steps to meet the Mandalorian at his side, leaning over into his line of sight, “You’re scared aren’t you?”

He purposely ignores your presence, looking right past you past you, “Scared of what?”

“Oh you’re terrified!” You stand fully in front of him, completely blocking him off so there's no escape from your annoyances, “Terrified, a big scary beast, with glowing red eyes is going to abduct us in the night!”

He pauses and turns to you fully, giving you that annoyed blank-visor stare you were hoping for, then he sighs.

“Would you focus on the mission?”

You chuckle as you turn away and stretch your arms over your head, “I could do this mission with my eyes closed. There’s no creature. The kids are probably out here camping in the woods somewhere as a prank to make the mayor seem crazier than he already does.”

“Then why haven’t you found them yet?”

You quickly drop your arms and turn back to him defensively, “Because I’m stuck with your shiny ass. If it wasn’t for you I would have those kids found and turned in by nightfall.”

He scoffs.

“What?” You snap back at him.

“I think it’s the opposite. If I wasn’t stuck babysitting you and the kid I’d have those kids found in less than that, instead you’re too busy goofing off and making our job harder than it needs to be.”

“Fine. Let’s split up.”

He tilts his helmet at you intrigued.

“We’ll split the job 70/30. Whoever finds the kids the fastest gets the highest cut.”

He goes to speak but you cut him off.

“And! I’ll take the kid. That way when I win, you’ll have no excuse.”

“Deal.”

He doesn’t miss a beat. This means business. You had no choice but to win.

You quickly grab the kids pram and rush off.

“Good luck, Shiny!” You give him a quick wave before fully running off.

You were surprisingly very confident. This seemed like such an easy job to you. Find the kids, get them to confess there's no creature, and boom! The credits were yours. Not to mention that up until this point, any job leading up to this one, the Mandalorian was seriously getting in your way. You’ll admit you had gotten in his way too, but for the most part you’re confident that without him, you can get this done in no time.

Though now that you think about it, you really have no idea what his skill level is as a hunter. On Corellia his bounty wandered into the ship by chance, you completely fumbled the mission on Coruscant. You remember him being a relatively skilled fighter back on Utrost, but it was your plan and you ended up saving his ass from getting butchered in the end anyway.

Then again…he did save you on Canto Bight when the job turned sour, and he managed to track down and save you from Eldon–

No. You shake your head. Doesn’t matter. No matter how skilled he was as a hunter you’re confident enough you can still beat him. You figure the kids will probably stick to some form of water, a river, or a lake, or some kind of landmark they could easily find their way back home with, but unknown enough to outsiders that they could evade foreign hunters. So you start there.

It’s not too long before you stumble across a small creek. Just big enough that it won’t dry it up for a while, but small enough to seem inconspicuous. You start following it deeper into the forest when the kid starts fussing. Great. Maybe if you ignore him for a couple minutes he’ll go back to sleep. You love the kid, you can’t lie, you’ve grown pretty fond of him over your time traveling with him, but right now you were busy and couldn’t afford a distraction.

You barely make it two steps when his meek whimpers turn into full blown wails.

“Okay okay! Hey it’s okay! Shh!” You quickly rush over to him and scoop him out of the pram rocking him, and bouncing, anything to keep him quiet, you don’t want to alarm the kids if they’re close and lose your lead.

But he cries harder, and wiggles, clearly not appreciative of your smothering embrace.

“Oh kid, please be quiet.” You beg, “We can play in a bit I’ve got work to do.”

You strain to contain him in your arms as he fights you more, writhing desperately against your embrace, until before you know it, he’s slipped out entirely and plops right onto the floor besides your feet. He sits there for a moment, wide-eyed, and you’re worried he hurt himself and you’ve only got a few short moments before he begins to let out a screeching wail.

You quickly bend down to comfort him, but before you move an inch, the little menace quickly regains his senses and jumps up taking off in a full blown sprint. You quickly rush after him. How is it even possible something with such tiny legs can move so fast?

Why did you agree to take him again? to prove something? what a mistake you should have let the Mandalorian take him. this kid was going to cost you the job and worst of all? your pride. The Mandalorian cannot win, and worse you cannot lose his kid.

It’s not too long before the kid trips over his own robes and does a little tumble right into the creek. You’re quick to scoop him up, but not quite quick enough. Almost immediately he starts crying. A full blown sob. Classic tantrum.

You sigh, accepting defeat. Poor guy probably just misses his dad and ended up soaked and bruised trying to find him. You give him a reassuring couple pats as he wheezes in a deep breath between choked sobs. You take a seat down on the forest floor besides the creek, subconsciously hoping the sound of running water will help calm him.

You rock him softly and continue to gently pat his back as he helplessly cries in your arms. Well, if any kids were hiding out around here, they’re definitely long gone. You sigh again. You can picture it now, the Mandalorian silently bragging the entire way to Carajam. Only in a way he could, not muttering a word, and completely expressionless with his helmet, but the way he would carry himself alone could tell you, a quick glance that says, “See? I told you so.”

A tilt that would say, “I’m better than you.”

You groan at the thought. The thought of him with your credits in his hands all because you agreed to watch his stupid kid.

You strain to reach up and toggle the infrared on your visor. Best to keep an eye out in case anyone else is out here. You’ve learned that there's no such thing as safe in this galaxy, and in return, no harm in being too careful. At least with the infrared it will be easy to spot someone, hopefully, before they spot you. It flickers far more than usual, occasionally flicking out completely before flicking back on. Your display hasn’t really been the same since the beating it took when Eldon crash landed in Felucia. You lazily scan the environment, ignoring it the best you can, as you continue to comfort the child. It’s when you glance over to where he fell that you have to double take.

Something on the ground catches your attention, you quickly get up, holding the child tight in your arms and move to investigate something you missed, now illuminated with the infrared.

Tracks.

But not from kids. In fact, you’re not quite sure what they're from. Your visor doesn’t auto ID them, and you don’t think you’ve seen anything quite like it. You look ahead a couple feet and there's more. Crystal clear tracks. They were shallow, but they were there, they didn’t seem that old either. How did you miss these earlier? You decide it doesn't matter, and decide to follow them anyway. The farther you follow them, the clearer they get. Straying away from the creek and deep into the woods.

As the space between the trees gets thinner, you notice some scratches high up on the trunks of them, embedded deep into the wood. Higher up than you were in height, and now you’re confused. You can’t figure out what could have possibly done this, no animal you can think of is that tall, or has prints like that.

Before you can figure it out, the sound of your name crackling through the comm makes you jump.

“Come in! Do you copy?” The Mandalorian’s voice echos through and there's a sense of urgency in his voice that you don’t think you’ve heard from him before.

“I copy. What’s up? Did you find something?” You try to reply over the sobbing child in your arms.

“The kid–Is the Kid okay?” You don’t think you’ve ever heard him so panicked before.

“What? Yeah–yeah! He's fine–he just tripped. Is everything okay? What’s going on?” “What are your coordinates? We need to meet back up immediately!” ***

Previous - MASTER - Next Taglist: @mysun-n-stars , @tanzthompson , @janebby , @um-well

#the mandalorian #din x reader #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin fanfic #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #din x you #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #mando x you #mando x reader #reader insert #the mandalorian fanfiction

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princesweetpea · 4 years

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I Found | Sweet Pea x Aurora Jones (oc)

All Chapters Here

Chapter: FOURTEEN

Warnings: Language, angst

READ IT ON AO3

A/N: Hi everyone! Taking a quick break from my hiatus to post this. Sorry, it's been so long, life has been... yeah. (Before anyone comes at me, I based Fangs' heritage on Drew's, in case anyone is confused.) I hope you enjoyed this Sweet Pea focused chapter! We got to see a little bit more of Sweet Pea's personal life and the relationships he has. Please let me know what you think! x

Usually rain this heavy would keep Sweet Pea from going out on his bike, but his mind was everywhere else as his motorcycle sped along the slick, winding road. His mind was racing, filled with fresh memories that also called back to some that weren’t as recent. His friends, his decisions… Aurora Jones. “You know, if you were always so compliant, maybe we could have been… friends, or something.” He snorted at the memory of her remark. “Me and you, friends? That could never happen.” It was true. They could never be friends, though even he wasn’t sure why not. He didn’t know why he couldn’t get her out of his head. He had completely avoided her for the better part of two months since the incident at the diner. He felt a little guilty for leaving her stranded, but maybe not as guilty as he should have felt. Yes, you do. However, he didn’t want to apologize. You should have apologized the night of the cookout. He shook his subconscious out of his head and regained focus on the road, not wanting to remember the belated Fourth of July celebration that the Serpents hosted in Tent City. It was a bittersweet celebration, considering the sudden and unexpected passing of Fred Andrews a week prior. Fred Andrews. The funeral blurred together in his mind. The memories of the caring, helpful man that took the clan in when they had nowhere else to go. The omnipresent, uncomfortable ache of loss that seemed to never go away. He felt sick and stupid for the way he mourned a man that he barely knew, but unprecedented kindness without expecting something in return was scarce in his life. He thought of everyone who knew him better; he thought of Archie, of Jughead, of Betty, and of Rory. The way she cried at the funeral. He shook his head more forcefully, much more so that his bike swerved. “Fuck!” He did his best not to overcorrect and steadied himself once more. After a few more minutes of hyper-focused steering, he reached his destination.

The crunch of boots against damp gravel was the only distinguishable sound in dead air as he shifted from one foot to the other outside of the modest house. No, not house… home. This was home – well, it may as well have been home for Sweet Pea. He had spent a lot of his time here over the years; but now that Fangs was… gone, the time he spent here was brief and as few and far between as he could handle. If a Serpent is killed or imprisoned, their family will be taken care of, he repeated in his head. Or in this case… Missing. He flipped an envelope over in his hand to open it for the seventh time, thumbing through the bills to make sure it was all there. A hand patted him on the shoulder, startling him, and he immediately spun on his heel with his fist raised. Jughead?

“I didn’t mean to catch you off guard. I thought you saw me pull up.” Jughead raised his hands as he waited for Sweet Pea to release his shirt. Sweet Pea let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he bent down to pick up the envelope. He brushed the dirt from the outside, drops of water streaking across it as it soaked into the paper. He stood up a bit straighter than before and waved Jughead’s apology off.

“How did you know I was here?”

“It’s Thursday.” Jughead stated easily with a shrug. Sweet Pea sighed, poking his tongue into his cheek, and shifted his gaze up into the trees. Despite everything that was going on, the easy sway of the branches lessened the tightness in his chest. Here it was calm, peaceful.

“Keeping tabs on me, Jones?” He grumbled in faux annoyance.

“Wouldn’t you do the same?” Jughead challenged as he folded his arms and leaned back against his bike, sizing up the taller boy. Sweet Pea shrugged, mirroring his movements. He avoided Jughead’s gaze. “I need to talk to you about a couple of things.”

“It couldn’t have waited? You couldn’t have texted me?” Sweet Pea questioned. This was not the time for Serpent business; and since Jughead seemed to already know what he was doing here, he knew that. The teenage Serpent King simply shook his head, earning an eye roll from his right-hand man.

“Where’d you get all of that? Don’t tell me it’s all from working at the comic book shop.” Jughead pressed, nodding toward the bulging envelope in Sweet Pea’s grasp. Sweet Pea hastily tucked it into the pocket inside his jean vest, scoffing at his friend and avoiding his intense stare. He ignored his question as he pushed himself upright from his bike and swaggered toward the front door, knocking twice and waiting a brief moment before letting himself in. Jughead followed suit a few steps behind. Lena Fogarty greeted the pair with a bottle of hand sanitizer at the ready. Jughead was slightly taken aback but obliged, remembering the state of Mrs. Fogarty’s health.

“So, you decided to come inside this time around to grace us with your presence,” Lena poked, giving Sweet Pea a hardened frown before cracking a grin. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as they embraced. “You must be Jughead. I’m Lena.” She extended her hand. Her handshake was firmer than he expected. Jughead made a barely audible squeak in the back of his throat at the greeting as she tightened her grip. Sweet Pea smirked as he watched on.

“Good to meet you. I’m sorry I didn’t come in sooner. I hope you guys have been getting the groceries I’ve been dropping off.” Jughead straightened with the release of his hand from her grasp. They engaged in small talk that Sweet Pea quickly tuned out. He left the pair to awkwardly converse as he made his way through the doorway to the small kitchen on the left of the entrance.

“What are you making?” Sweet Pea’s voice boomed as he leaned against the doorframe. The small, fragile woman jumped, spinning to face him with a hand over her heart. Her startled features relaxed at the sight of him, but this didn’t stop her from whacking him with a wooden spoon. He recoiled slightly, but laughter and joy filled his lungs as she shouted at him.

“Don’t you know not to sneak up on the ill?” She huffed, smacking him once more on the arm for good measure. He chuckled in response and pulled her into his chest. She squeezed him tight and stepped back. She brought a hand to cup his cheek. “I didn’t think I would lose both of you at once. I’ve missed you, my son.” He softened and leaned into her palm. His chest constricted at the sight of her pained eyes.

“I’m sorry I disappeared, Marie.” He rasped. Her face twisted slightly as she turned back toward the steamer basket. She stayed silent. His thoughts ran a mile a minute as he shifted his weight onto his other leg and rubbed the back of his neck. It was wrong for him to stay away, and it was not fair to her. She practically took on the role of the loving mother in his life.

“You and your friend are staying for dinner,” She finally spoke after what felt like hours of silence. It wasn’t a suggestion. Sweet Pea nodded eagerly in response. “Set the table.”

Dinner started off a bit awkwardly as the Fogarty women practically interrogated Jughead to get to know him better. Jughead was surprisingly holding his own and definitely not as awkward as he used to be. He seemed to finally be stepping into what usually came with leadership: the ability to speak to anyone with confidence. “This is delicious, Mrs. Fogarty. What is it?” He asked with a grin.

“Jamaican curry goat bao. It’s a recipe my husband and I came up with when we got married, like a way of fusing our cultures and lives together.” She smiled wide, then it suddenly began to fade as she lingered on the memory of her deceased husband. Lena shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat, focusing her attention on Sweet Pea.

“So, Sweet Pea, still a delinquent?” Lena smirked as she shoveled a forkful of rice into her mouth. She said this specifically to push Sweet Pea’s buttons since her brother was in the same gang as he was; she clearly paid this fact no mind.

“Lena.” Mrs. Fogarty warned, half present in the conversation.

“Hey, Lena, how is that dishonorable discharge treating you?” Sweet Pea grinned, the devil in his eye, as he fired back playfully. Lena’s brows shot up and she raised her glass to him before taking a sip and striking his shin with her foot under the table. Mrs. Fogarty snapped back to reality and her fork clattered as it hit her plate.

“Sweet Pea! Lena!” She barked, followed by something Jughead couldn’t understand, but it was enough to make the pair shrink in their seats. Her attempt to not bring attention to her annoyance by speaking in a different tongue had the opposite effect she had desired. The rest of the meal was consumed with uncomfortable silence.

After dinner, Sweet Pea and Jughead said their goodbyes. Jughead exited the house while Sweet Pea hung back, pulling Mrs. Fogarty aside. He reached into the inside of his jean vest to retrieve the full envelope and handed it to her. She furrowed her brows as she went to open it. Her eyes widened. “What is this? I cannot keep taking money from you!”

“Just take it.”

“Where did you get this?” She questioned frantically, trying to put the envelope back in his palm. He gently took hold of her hands and wrapped them around the envelope, pushing it toward her.

“Take it,” His voice strained as he pleaded, his eyes soft. She opened her mouth to protest once more, but stopped when he gently squeezed her hands. “Please.” She hesitantly nodded once after a long moment, then stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

“Your bed is still here when you want it. Please don’t be a stranger.” She said softly. His mind wandered to the rollaway trundle bed that they would set up in Fangs’ room whenever he would stay over before, which was more often than not. He thought of all the times they’d bullshit together; talking about girls, eventually boys, once Fangs was ready to share that part of himself, and listening to Earth, Wind & Fire vinyls and debating which record of their discography was the best. He wouldn’t be able to go in that room anytime soon, not while Fangs was still… gone. It would hurt too much.

“I’ll come to stay sometime soon.” Sweet Pea forced a smile and nodded, lying through his teeth.

________________________________________________________________

Jughead fiddled with a toothpick as he leaned against his bike. Sweet Pea walked down the driveway to meet him and they stood together in silence for a few moments before Sweet Pea cleared his throat. “So, are you going to get to the reason you’re here in the first place, or what?”

Jughead sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Charles and Betty might have a lead on The Farm. They might have a lead on Fangs, specifically.” He stated, carefully eyeing the taller boy for his reaction. Sweet Pea’s jaw clenched and unclenched. He narrowed his eyes and examined Jughead’s face to make sure he wasn’t making some type of sick joke.

“How?”

“Kevin.”

“Keller! I fucking knew it,” Sweet Pea pushed off his bike and tugged at his hair, walking a few feet before turning back toward him. “Why aren’t we telling this to his family?” Sweet Pea asked incredulously. He spun on his heel and made his way toward the front door. Jughead dropped his toothpick and quickly lunged to jump in front of Sweet Pea, trying to stop him by pushing his shoulders. Sweet Pea shoved him back and struggled to remove him from his path. “Get the fuck out of my way, Jones!”

“Sweet Pea!” Jughead hissed, pushing him back roughly and shushing him. “Do you really want to break their hearts all over again if this falls through or hits a dead end?” He tried to reason with him. Sweet Pea stopped struggling and turned to walk back toward his bike. He sunk to the ground and slumped forward, cradling his head in his hands.

“But what about me?” Sweet Pea rasped. He normally would have kept a brave face around Jughead, but he was so tired of pretending he was okay. Plus, there was no sense in hiding his feelings from Jughead if he already knew them nonetheless. Jughead sighed and walked over to sit down beside him. He clapped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed reassuringly.

“Not even Toni knows. I needed you to know at the very least. Charles and Betty might need you if it comes down to it, you know?” Jughead explained. Sweet Pea sniffed and nodded. They sat in comfortable silence as they gazed up at the sky. The clouds had cleared and the stars glimmered brightly against the darkness of the night. Being further away from a big city had its perks, and one of them was the lack of light pollution. After about fifteen minutes, not a word between them the whole time, Jughead spoke again. “One more thing we need to talk about…” Sweet Pea hummed, waiting for him to get on with it.

“I think Rory should join the Serpents.”

“What, why? No.” Sweet Pea scoffed.

“She pretends that she’s alright but I hear her having nightmares when I’m up late writing every night. Even though the Black Hood is dead and gone, I know she doesn’t feel safe. If I end up going to Stonewall Prep, I need her to have some sense of security since I’ll be gone.” Jughead tried to reason with him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jones. She isn’t one of us. She shrugs off the Serpent title every chance she gets. No.” Sweet Pea protested.

“Listen, Sweet Pea, this is going to happen whether you like it or not. It would go a lot smoother if you were on board. I need her to agree to it as well and that won’t happen if she feels like she’s not welcome. Besides, she’s had a rough go of it and doesn’t have many people that she can rely on. Think of how our lives have changed simply from being a part of a family that always wants us.” Jughead suggested firmly. Sweet Pea groaned and tugged at his hair. She was somehow infiltrating every aspect of his life and he was beginning to lose ways of escaping. “Are you disagreeing on behalf of the Serpents or on behalf of yourself?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Sweet Pea fired back defensively.

“I know that you kissed her.” Jughead proclaimed. He wasn’t asking, and he wasn’t talking about the kiss during the game, the one in the Serpent HQ all those months ago. How did he know? How did he find out? He knew that Rory would never tell Jughead. Sweet Pea’s stomach dropped and he faltered, but only slightly. Right… kissed. Images of tangled limbs, lips on neck, hands in hair, face between thighs. “That’s all that happened, right?” No, that was not all that happened – not even close.

“Yes,” Sweet Pea lied, maintaining eye contact as unsuspiciously he could muster. He could lie to cops with ease – surely it would be a walk in the park to lie to Jughead Jones. Jughead searched his face for a few lingering seconds before deciding that he was telling the truth. Sweet Pea bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smirking, satisfied by the rush of getting away with a forbidden lie. He regained his composure. “Nothing to worry about, Jones. We were drunk.” He lied again. He was pressing his luck here, he knew it, but that first part wasn’t a lie. There was nothing to worry about. Up until the funeral and cookout a couple of weeks prior, he hadn’t had any contact with her in months. Their days of hate-sex were over, weren’t they?

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ichigoromi · 3 years

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𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐊-𝐩𝐨𝐩 𝐈𝐝𝐨𝐥 | 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 | 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩 | 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧

I don't know what went through in my mind when I decided to write this. Sakusa would be pretty jealous but proud of you. Thank you for reading, and I appreciate all the love and support!

I'm posting this just an hour before my final paper, have fun reading!

I hope y'all enjoy this~!

Sakusa Kiyoomi

You and Sakusa have been dating officially for about three years and only went public about a month ago.

While you two were secretly dating, your friends and family never found out.

If you have a long break, you spend time visiting Sakusa then heading back to your family.

Not many people know about it, and you decided to reveal it to your company after many contemplations and before the news outlet get hold of this news.

And you were prepared for it.

Being a k-pop idol and dating it never goes well.

You immediately had to stop your activities, and your fans were in shock since you have been dating for a long time.

Sakusa flew into Seoul to accompany you on your hiatus and to spend his break with you.

Oh, when you went to the airport to fetch him, the numerous news outlet was having a field day.

He was more worried about you since you were receiving a lot more hate than him.

Your members backed you up, and your company (luckily) was absolutely okay with you dating and would take any actions to protect you.

Your fans are divided over the fact that you were dating and had hidden it for quite some time. 70% of them were supportive, while the other 30% are against you dating.

His friends and teammates were all texting him about confirming the dating news, and you were calling your family too.

You wanted to bring him out and explore the places that you wanted to bring him, then you had the best idea.

On a trip to the countryside, there was a small town that you always go to volunteer with your members, you wanted to bring Sakusa there, to kind of escape the city for a while.

The elderly ahjummas and ahjusshis were absolute in love with Sakusa.

At first, you were worried for him since it would be tough, but everyone has been so warm and welcoming to him. Even the town children, who always clings to you, now clings to Sakusa.

"Isn't it refreshing? Coming to the countryside and explore new things?" Now that you two were speaking in Japanese and alone, doing some stargazing.

You sat in his lap, and he wraps his arms around you.

"I thought I would hate it, but they still treated me like family despite me being a foreigner who can't even speak their language." He expressed his thoughts.

"Who knew you would date an idol? Isn't it shocking that the backlash I get? While your fans are glad that you are dating?" He nods and leans his chin on your shoulder.

"You know, you don't have to put up in front of me. I'm your boyfriend, and it's normal for you to lean on me." He whispered to your ears and kisses your cheek.

You were glad that you met him at that one volleyball game and got his number.

"Finally, we both can openly see each other instead of sneaking around. I love this feeling of not needing to hide! Now, you can bring me to meet your family and you can meet mine. It's been three years and about time to host an official meeting." You openly announced and he sat still.

You got up from his lap and he was as still as a statue.

"Omi, why are you so still? I'm just meeting your parents and you are going to meet mine too." You gently shook his shoulders.

"I'm...scared of your father."

After a week in the countryside, you two returned to the city, which was better than before. The news outlets have left you two alone, and you were able to bring him to your different hangout spots.

You two even went to get new clothes since he wants to impress your father.

This time, you two were returning back to Japan together since you were on a hiatus anyways.

The airport that used to be pack with reporters is empty, and only a few fans hanging around to wish you to rest well during your break and come back strong.

Sakusa was fidgeting beside you since he is anxious at the thought of meeting your father and brothers. You were from a military family, and all of your brothers are in the military as well.

"Omi, calm down. Come on, it's just my parents." You comfort him, but he shook his head.

It was rare to see him nervous.

"It's your scary dad and brothers. They are going to come after me for dating their baby." You laughed at his reaction.

This was gold.

"Ah, is my omi really scared? Do you want a kiss to feel better?" You teased him and wraps your arm around his neck to bring him down to your height.

"Yeah, I need a kiss from my baby to calm me down." He leans in closer to your face.

You pull down your mask and his mask and lean in for a kiss. Sakusa leans down and captures your lips in a sweet kiss.

"That works. Can I get another kiss?" He cheekily asked.

"Hmm, since you're cute, you get another kiss." You leaned up and capture his lip into another kiss.

Eh, this was kind of cute. I believe that Omi would be a supportive boyfriend and shows his vulnerable side to you. I hope y'all enjoy this headcanon!

Thank you for reading!

Stay safe and healthy!

With love,

Rosalie🍓

#sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi headcanons #sakusa kiyoomi hcs #sakusa x y/n #sakusa headcanons #sakusa fluff #sakusa x you #sakusa x reader #msby bj #haikyuu msby #msby sakusa #msby headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x imagines

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flowered-mp3 · 3 years

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relevé pt. 3 (pirouette) - kim yugyeom

pairing: urban dancer yugyeom + ballet dancer female reader

genre: professional dancer au, enemies to friends to lovers, mild angst

word count: 5.1k+

warnings: cursing, alcohol, suggestive sexual content

summary: after attending a multi-genre dance showcase, you become begrudgingly enraptured with yugyeom, the captain of a rival dance company.

author’s note: finally, part 3 is here! y'all know that this fic is my baby and i really enjoy writing it, i was just juggling with the plot points for a while during hiatus. also if u wanna scream about yugyeom's solo album in my inbox you are welcome because that album... my god... if u saw my *kim yugyeom is hot* breakdown in my text posts u know. anyways, enjoy hehe love y'all

[library] [got7 library] [relevé series]

✧✧✧

It’s lift day.

And you love lift day.

Being carried around in the air is fun, but you had to do quite a bit of convincing for Yugyeom to let you have it in the piece. He was very against it in the beginning; you weren’t sure why, so you had to convince him using two things; a promise that you’d bring an instructor to spot, and an incentive that he could never refuse; dinner on you.

You don’t mind either, considering that Yugyeom brings you snacks and a beverage of your choice before practice without you even asking. Today is no exception as you watch Yugyeom walk into the studio with a latte and your favourite spicy chips in hand, thanking him sheepishly.

“I come bearing gifts,” he says, a shy smile creeping on your lips as he gently places them in your outreached palms. Yugyeom’s kindness truly knows no bounds; a notion that you’ve become very familiar with over the past number of months. Before getting too distracted by Yugyeom and how unbelievably sweet he is to you, your instructor clears his throat.

Your head pops up at the sound, apologizing for your late response.

“Jimin, meet Yugyeom. Yugyeom, meet Jimin,” you direct, waving your hands between your project partner and your colleague in an effort to get them to interact.

Yugyeom reaches out first with wide eyes and a bright smile.

You mean, of course, he does, breathing a sigh of relief when Jimin takes his outreached palm for a handshake, glad that there is an inkling of Jimin possibly getting along with Yugyeom.

It isn’t like Jimin is unfriendly or vindictive in any way. It’s just that among your colleagues, you undoubtedly respect him the most. Jimin is an incredible dancer with vast experiences that you could never even imagine having. He’s been your pas de deux partner for many performances, and his style has influenced you in more ways than one, making his advice incredibly valuable to you. It’s because of this that you try to shake the anxiousness away. You care about his opinion and it makes you nervous to have him assist in the progress of your project.

“So Yugyeom, Y/N brought me here to work on some lifts. She thought that it might be more effective if she had a second hand,” Jimin says, watching you nod in confirmation before continuing, “Y/N, you said that you wanted to put in a fish dive?”

You nod, walking over to Jimin to demonstrate one for Yugyeom.

Beginning with a standard developpe, Jimin’s hands are grasping at yours to balance your movements. Once your body switches to the fouetté, then into the pirouette, Jimin’s palms transition to holding your waist, spinning you four times as your head whips around, spotting yourself in the mirror.

Already, Yugyeom is not about the way that Jimin’s hands are all over you. This is exactly why he didn’t want to do this in the first place; Yugyeom isn’t sure how much he can handle if he (or anyone else, for that matter) lays a hand on you. He tries his best not to look angry, pushing his feelings of all-consuming jealousy and yearning to the back of his consciousness. Yugyeom knows that he has no right to experience such emotions, but he still isn’t able to fully hide the way it manifests in his body language. Thankfully for him, you don’t notice anything amiss due to your preoccupation with the lift that you’re demonstrating.

Distracted by your muscles coiling and tensing, your arms float from first position as your retire extends backward to an arabesque, your expression soft in an attempt to conceal the burning that you’re starting to feel in your feet. Pausing briefly to prepare for the lift, Jimin and you both plie simultaneously before he grabs at your waist, throwing you in the air with an effortlessness and grace that only years of being pas de deux partners could grant.

The lift sequence finishes with the signature dip and the extension of your leg, finally able to relax your muscles and breathe properly.

“Ok. Your turn,” you exhale, crooking your neck to the side as you fully disengage your muscles. Looking at Yugyeom, the description of the expression spread across his face could only be described as utterly terrified.

“What if I drop you?” Yugyeom asks meekly, unsure about his abilities.

“I’ll guide you through it. Plus, you have all this extra surface area to work with,” Jimin reassures, causing you to giggle at his joke, essentially dissing himself for his small stature.

Yugyeom doesn’t say anything but you can just tell that he’s still unconvinced, biting the inside of his cheek as his shoulders slouch slightly. Reaching out to grasp at his hand softly, you attempt to silently reassure him with gentle eyes and a squeeze of his palm. This seems to be sufficient for him, Yugyeom’s head nodding hesitantly.

Standing behind you, Yugyeom attempts to mimic Jimin’s positioning from earlier; your hands in his with your back a couple of inches from his chest. Jimin moves to lift Yugyeom’s arms higher up before touching his shoulders, pushing them down in an effort to relax them.

“Keep your arms tense during the developpe,” Jimin instructs, Yugyeom engaging the muscle in his arm to follow his directions. However, he tenses them a little too much for your liking, his shoulders hunching upwards as he overcompensates.

“Wait. Gyeom, not so much. You still have to move your hands to my waist when I transition to the pirouette,” you advise, humming in approval when Yugyeom heeds your advice.

Warning Yugyeom that you’re about to start the pirouette, his palms leave your hands to grab at your waist slowly, trying his best to ensure that you feel safe before jumping.

“Gyeom, you’re not gonna hurt me,” you reassure, grabbing Yugyeom’s hands that are on your waist and pressing them harder against your body, effectively securing your balance in his hands. In order to prepare for the jump, you direct him to plie at the same time before launching you in the air, then advising him to brace your landing in the same manner.

“Ok, ready?” Jimin prepares, ensuring that you both are prepared before counting you two in, hands out in order to spot the risky lift.

It’s not as smooth as you’re used to; Yugyeom’s fingers accidentally pinching your waist upon catching you, causing the landing to be a bit bumpy and rough. Interestingly, it still feels better than other pas de deux partners that you’ve had in the past; perhaps you can accredit it to the fact that you and Yugyeom have grown to have good chemistry together. As if he can sense your discomfort, his eyes meet yours in the mirror as you wince, immediately expressing remorse with an apologetic caress of your hip.

“Sorry,” he apologizes into your ear, an unintentional shiver running down your spine when you feel his breath against your neck.

Suddenly, you become aware of the proximity between you two, your mind completely disregarding the fact that Jimin is still in the studio, eyes darting between you and Yugyeom awkwardly. The only thing that your mind can focus on is Yugyeom’s firm chest is pressed against your back, his arms encircled around your waist as a consequence of the shaky landing. You’re not even facing each other but you manage to stare at his face through the mirror in front of you, making the moment strangely intimate.

It takes a loud cough from Jimin to make you pry away from his touch, taking in a hitched breath to calm your nerves and racing heart. You fail to catch that Yugyeom is no better; hands clammy as his ears become pink, neck flushing bashfully.

✧✧✧

The Asshole:

Worried about the lift

Like I’ll do it

Just like.

Don’t wanna drop you on stage

You frown at his text. It’s not like him to second-guess himself; that’s usually a you thing. He did great for a beginner during practice a couple of hours ago. Yes, it was a bit rough and lacked the usual level of finesse, but Yugyeom is such an all-rounder. He’s talented and you’re confident that he’ll be able to get it in time for showcase.

Me:

Don’t worry

You did great, I promise

Jimin said you did well

For a beginner lol

Don’t worry about it too much, we still have 3 months left

You’ll get it

Plus, you have me 😊

Your cheeks warm up at what you just sent, biting your bottom lip as you place your phone on the table screen down. You’re nearing dangerous territory and you’re well aware; it touches on flirting with him and it’s a side of yourself that you’ve been entertaining far too many times for your liking.

“I would like to submit a piece for the collaboration project.”

Upon hearing this request, you look up from your phone screen sharply, shocked out of your own thoughts. Everyone was pretty apprehensive about the whole collab thing, so you’re caught off guard by the request. Your eyes meet your roommate, Lisa, her eyes sparkling in excitement with her paperwork in hand.

“It’s pretty late in the game, considering that showcase is in three months. What’s with the change of heart?” you question curiously, unsure of the reason for Lisa’s sudden decision.

“There’s actually a guy on the team that’s a childhood friend. BamBam? I don’t know if you’ve met him,” she answers.

Just hearing his name makes you giggle, reminded of his larger-than-life personality, glitzy oversized watch, and obnoxiously tinted sunglasses that he wore indoors.

“I have met him, actually. He and Gyeom are best friends and roommates. I had no idea that he knows you,” you respond, surprised, guessing that Lisa is probably going to work with him on the project. This is nice, to have someone else on your team experiencing the exact same artistic blocks and achievements that you’re experiencing.

“Gyeom?”

“Yugyeom. It’s a nickname. Sorry, it’s a habit.”

Ignoring the shit-eating grin on Lisa’s face, you grasp at the paperwork in her hands, scanning through the writing to ensure that everything is in order for their piece. Looking through it, you’re excited to see that Lisa will be doing hiphop with him; a welcome surprise; she’s always been so good at it, regardless of being a contemporary dancer at her core.

“This looks good, so I’ll submit it to the showcase director later,” you confirm before immediately resuming your work, eyes trained on your illuminated laptop screen in an instant. You expect Lisa to leave; she’s likely just as busy as you with dance at the moment. Instead, she chooses to plop right on the table beside your work, scattering your pens and highlighters in the process.

Blinking in surprise, your hands leave your laptop in a questioning gesture, eyes looking upward to look at Lisa’s sly grin.

Just by looking at her face, you’re already aware that she’s going to ask for your permission to do something.

“You want something. What is it?” you ask suspiciously, wary of the mischievous expression plastered all over her face. Lisa sighs, pouting.

“I have an idea,” she begins, pausing when your eyes narrow, half interested but half suspicious. You love your best friend but she can have some out-of-pocket ideas sometimes, “I was thinking of hosting a party for Elevate and Pulse next weekend. You know, since we have to work together and stuff,” she suggests, wincing in preparation for her idea to get rejected. You pause initially, opening your mouth to push her idea to the side. Simply put, you do not have the time to plan for a mere party, way too preoccupied with your dance captain duties.

“Just before you reject me, Bam and I will plan for it. It won’t even be at our apartment, it’ll be at a B&B. Just. I don’t know… Think about it? We’ve all been working so hard. We deserve a break! Plus, the teams can get to know each other with food and drinks,” Lisa pauses, “You can spend time with Yugyeom…” she continues in a saccharine sing-song voice, tone suggestive.

As much as you hate to admit it, that last sentence is what makes you rethink the event. You’ve never hung out with Yugyeom outside of work, and you can’t help but want to get to know him on a non-work basis.

It might be a bad idea, though.

You know that you’re physically attracted to Yugyeom; unwillingly so, might you add, and combining that with alcohol may end badly for your months-long, budding friendship with him. Meeting with him so often for the past number of months meant that he’s secured a spot in your circle of friends, whether you like it or not.

In your life, you choose to only become involved with people that have a seat at your table of friendship. Anyone else who doesn’t have a seat is someone that you aren’t personally concerned with. There’s only a select, finite number of spots but…

Yugyeom managed to do away with your rule, choosing instead to bring his own seat to the table.

And that weakens your resolve.

So, you agree.

✧✧✧

“Y/N here?”

Yugyeom doesn’t even have to turn his head around to know that the voice belongs to Jinyoung, one of his closest pains in his ass. He hums to confirm your attendance at the party, but doesn’t want to fully admit that he’s already been staring at you since your arrival from across the house, even before Jinyoung asked him.

“That explains the hair situation.”

Yugyeom rolls his eyes, “Shut up.”

“What? I’m happy for you. Clearly, Y/N is doing you a favor via the improvement on your style choices.”

“We’re not even together,” he spits out, annoyed that Jinyoung is choosing to make fun of him when he isn’t feeling particularly chipper. If anything, BamBam told him to dress up for the party. If he had his way, Yugyeom would just rock up in his standard skinny jean and baggy t-shirt combination.

“Right. Otherwise, you’d be over there with your arm around her, warding off the guy that she’s talking to right now,” Jinyoung states, tapping his shoulder before leaving to grab another drink. Yugyeom is annoyed, all Jinyoung did was increase Yugyeom’s overwhelming feeling of yearning. From afar, it looks like you’re making casual conversation with someone on his crew. It’s a first-year, he remembers, and the first-year is clearly interested. He means, who wouldn’t be?

You showed up wearing a short dress that leaves nothing to the imagination, bare legs and curves of your body exposed. Yugyeom is used to the bare skin exposure, but he isn’t used to the fact that your hair is down. It contrasts the slicked-back high ponytails and neat buns that he’s used to, silky tresses draping gracefully over your collarbones, causing his eyes to focus on the dainty gold choker that rests on the base of your neck.

He just…

Wants to pull at it. To tug at the chain until your face tilts upwards to look at him with those pretty eyes of yours. He wants to press his lips against yours; to wrap his arm around your waist and cradle your cheek in his hand; to kiss you in such a way that you’re left keening and panting against his lips.

And it’s been absolute torture to have so many practices with you over the past number of months, having to hide the way you make him feel. He has to talk to you and touch you in a non-romantic fashion and it simply crushes him with each progressive meeting. Yugyeom wants so badly to stop visiting you for no reason; to stop bringing you tea lattes and spicy chips when you two have practice; to stop going to you for advice when he has choreo block; to stop the urge to simply want to be in your vicinity. He wants to stop but his resolve gets progressively weaker.

He just…

Wants you. In any way that you’re willing to have him.

And this is what urges him to make direct eye contact with you from across the room, his irritation from before washing away when a smile spreads across your face, eyes sparkling.

“She’s pretty, isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Yugyeom sighs without a second thought, the response so automatic that it takes him a second to process what he just said, “Wait, no. Well, yes… But I mean-“

Yugyeom’s stuttering is interrupted by a giggle beside him, tilting his head towards the source of the unknown voice. Looking slightly down, he sees Jimin next to him, eyes crinkled with a cheeky smirk spread across his face.

“I-“ he stops with an exasperated sigh, pressing his hand to his forehead before slumping his shoulders, “How did you know?”

Hearing that just makes Jimin laugh at his expense, clutching at his stomach before wiping a tear from his eye.

“You’re so obvious, Mr. Wears His Heart On His Sleeve. You’re not even a member of Elevate but I’ve seen you more often than actual members of Elevate! I spent one practice with you and I could just tell when your puppy dog eyes got all angsty when I laid a hand on Y/N,” Jimin states in a matter-of-fact manner, gesturing at you as Yugyeom grimaces in embarrassment.

“She cares about you too. More than she lets on,” Jimin continues, Yugyeom covering his face as he becomes increasingly flustered, “You’d lucky to be with her.”

“Why don’t you ask her out then?” Yugyeom scorns, pouting before chugging the beer in his hand, brows furrowed. Jimin hums in acknowledgment of Yugyeom’s question, but chooses to take a sip out of his drink before answering.

“Not really my type,” Jimin chuckles in amusement.

“Oh? And what’s your type?”

“Dick.”

“Ah. I see,” Yugyeom nods, immediately backing off from his previous attitude.

“She’d be lucky to have you too,” he admits, catching Yugyeom off guard.

“What do you mean?” Yugyeom asks, unsure of Jimin’s reasoning. He barely knows him, and yet he’s able to suddenly assess if Yugyeom is worthy of his close friend and colleague.

“Someone’s hitting on her but you’re over here on the sidelines, just watching and not getting angry. You’re making her become less of a tightly wound stress ball, which definitely benefits me. You gotta good heart, Gyeom,” Jimin elaborates, a smile spreading over Yugyeom’s face when he hears his beloved nickname that you use all the time. He is also surprised, Yugyeom wasn’t even aware that Jimin paid attention to his interactions with you, but is grateful that he has Jimin’s approval.

“You’re also hot. Not sure if you’ve noticed,” he quips, Yugyeom choking and sputtering on his drink as a response.

“I’m sorry?”

“You have his tall and handsome thing going on. Cute face. Nice chest. Good body. Fantastic dancer,” Jimin expands, wholly nonchalant. Yugyeom immediately becomes self-conscious at the sudden flurry of compliments, blushing red and fiddling with the silver rings on his fingers.

“Just… Lemme give you some advice, as her friend and colleague. Y/N is stubborn. I’m sure that you already know that. Once she sets her mind to something, she just sticks with it,” Jimin starts, jogging Yugyeom’s memory of you going back and forth on one specific section of their piece for two hours, “She doesn’t like risk. So that also means that she sticks to stupid ass rules that could make her ultimately unhappy.”

Right. Fuckin’ masochist, Yugyeom remembers.

“You gotta snap her out of it to have a chance because frankly, this little ‘dance’ you guys are doing around each other? She’s gonna hold out for longer than you. And I know that for a fact. Plus, I spent a couple of hours with you two and I can’t stand the way you guys keep eye-fucking each other. Like, get a room.”

“So what the hell am I supposed to do? I never know what she’s thinking,” Yugyeom slumps frustratedly, not feeling particularly positive with the ‘advice’ that Jimin is giving.

“Put all your cards on the table. Let her know that you’re worth the risk because you are, Yugyeom.”

Perhaps, Jimin is onto something.

Perhaps, all Yugyeom really needs is some courage.

✧✧✧

The party is… Definitely more extravagant than you thought that it would be.

Lisa told you to ‘dress up’, but you still feel out of place in your strappy heel and silky forest green minidress combination, even when considering the lavish nature of the surrounding décor.

Yugyeom is here as well, making you feel self-conscious when his eyes meet yours from across the room. Just by glancing at him from a distance, he’s looking especially handsome tonight, donning a sleek, all-black ensemble with his standard silver hoop earrings and chain necklace. His hair is actually styled as well, a rarity that you’re not familiar with; his forehead is exposed as the strands of hair are slicked away from his face. Nodding at him, a characteristically bright smile extends across his lips.

“You ok?” a voice beside you asks, initially making you jump in surprise. It’s the guy that you’ve been talking to for the past 10 minutes, but you’re frankly distracted by Yugyeom the entire time. You kind of feel bad because he’s cute and seems to be interested in you, leaning close with a wide smile on his lips as he requests to have your number.

But you stick by your rule; absolutely no romantic relations with colleagues.

Luckily, Yugyeom becomes your saving grace from the awkward and stunted conversation that you’re plagued with, whisking you away from the poor guy that had no chance to begin with.

“Thanks for the save,” you say sheepishly, your eyes unconsciously softening the minute that you see his face.

“Let’s get you a drink,” he says, extending his hand towards you. The chivalrous gesture catches you off guard, heat beginning to bloom on your cheeks.

Shyly taking his outstretched hand, he continues, “Come on, I’ll introduce you to my crew.”

✧✧✧

You’re finding out that Yugyeom’s friends… Are interesting.

First, you meet Jinyoung, Mark, Jackson, Youngjae, and Jaebeom, Yugyeom’s seniors. Both Jaebeom and Jinyoung are serious at first, but quips jokes at select moments that always cause laughter to erupt from the people surrounding him, including yourself. Frankly, Jaebeom and Youngjae’s laughs, you’re finding out, are so distinct that you can hear their signature guffaws echo from across the room. Jackson evidently makes himself out as the social butterfly, immediately greeting you with a charismatic smile and enthusiastic handshake. Mark, however, is the complete opposite. He’s so incredibly quiet that you initially failed to realize that he was even in the same group as them.

But all together…. They’re loud.

Very loud.

So much so that they start a full-on dance battle in the middle of the B&B, unprovoked. With neon lights flashing and trap music blaring through the speakers, all the members of the Pulse Crew collectively bust into dance in the center of the room. This is what sparks all of your dancers to join as well, throwing their hands up in the air. You initially had no wish to join in, perfectly content with observing the chaos from the sidelines like a fly on the wall. But Lisa, the angel that she is, yells at you in the middle of grinding into someone’s lap, screaming over the music for you to join in.

As drunk as you are, you still decline, shaking your head and hands sheepishly.

But Yugyeom forces himself out of the crowd to pull you into the chaotic flurry of bodies, guiding you to become the center of attention.

In an instant, you become apprehensive, the blasting music and the multiple eyes disorienting you. Yugyeom seems to sense this though, because he pulls you in and grasps your jaw gently, tilting your head to look into his eyes.

Maybe it’s the alcohol pumping through your body, but his electrifying gaze and tender touch practically makes you burn, fueling courage from within, the proximity to his body lighting your nerves aflame. Even with the overwhelming stimuli surrounding you two, it all seems to fade away in the background when Yugyeom guides your arms to wrap around his neck, a tipsy grin spreading across your face as his fingers trace the satin of your dress before placing his hands on your hips.

No counts.

No set combos.

No costumes.

No choreography.

Just you and him. Moving to the music in the way that makes you feel good, without the pressure of messing up or pissing off your director or catering to some judge that doesn’t care about you.

Everyone else seems to get the same idea as well, screaming and chanting ‘Cap-tains! Cap-tains! Cap-tains!’ from the vicinity of you both.

This makes you smile; you’re glad that your groups are able to connect in a place like this… You never thought that they would get along so well. Everyone is so different, but they still manage to synergize, generating such happy memories that they’ll never forget them, even if they tried.

Just like you and Yugyeom.

✧✧✧

It’s safe to say that the studios were empty the next day, because everyone (excluding himself), to Yugyeom’s knowledge, got drunk as all hell.

Yugyeom was planning to get plastered along with everyone else at the party, but you were just throwing back so many shots and drinks that he immediately restrained himself, his gut telling him that he was probably going to have to get you home by the end of the night. His gut feeling turned out to be right, because he had to drag you into a taxi with an equally wasted Lisa and BamBam, slurring over your words and slumping against his body. You’ve never told Yugyeom that you slip into your mother tongue when drunk, but he most definitely knows now, whether you liked it or not.

Pinching his nose bridge and squeezing his eyelids shut from the morning sun, a sleep-deprived headache decides to make a lovely appearance once the events of the taxi come back to him.

He forced Lisa and BamBam into the middle seats before practically carrying you to join him in the back, throwing his jacket over your shoulders because you said that you felt cold, absolutely refusing to wear your own. It’s safe to say that he felt particularly annoyed at that moment; that is until you leaned against him in the back seat of the car, testing his ability to remain a gentleman as the fullness of your chest pressed up against his arm, emphasizing your cleavage and leaving nothing to the imagination. To make matters even worse for him, you started to murmur drunkenly throughout the entire ride back.

“You’re so talented, Gyeomie,” you had started, looking up at his face before resuming, “Not fair,” you whined, pouting at him. He was baffled in the moment; how could you manage to annoy him but then immediately make him like you again without trying?

“Like your face,” you let out as you slapped his cheek clumsily, effectively causing his eyes to widen and his jaw to drop open. You apparently thought that this was inherently hilarious, “Hm. Cute,” you giggled, Yugyeom’s stomach flipping at the sudden compliments. Cute wasn’t something that he was going for, but he let it pass.

Just because it’s you.

“Like your nose,” you continued, attempting to poke the bridge of it. Unfortunately for Yugyeom, your finger completely missed. You nearly stabbed him in the eye, but he grabbed your wrist before you had a chance to gouge his eyeball out in a drunken stupor.

“Like your mole. That one,” you pointed, gesturing at the mole underneath his eye before moving down to his neck, “And this one,” you pointed again, “And this one…” you trailed off, voice soft as you poked at the mole on his chest, hidden by the dress shirt that he wore that night.

“Mhm. Wanna do things…” you slurred in a hushed whisper, the tone of your voice laced with a level of indecent suggestiveness that had him zoning in on your lips, catching his attention the second that it left your mouth. Never had he ever seen you like this; guard down, touchy, and loose-lipped.

“But I can’tttttt… Don’t wannaaaaa…” you babbled, shocking Yugyeom out of his trace, making him feel incredibly confused.

He didn’t know what you were going on about, but he didn’t have a chance to ask because he heard Lisa say that you’ve made it to their place. Fortunately for him, he only had to carry you up to your apartment because Lisa handled her alcohol better than you could that night. Once Lisa opened the apartment for him, she flopped onto the couch while he placed you on your bed, laying you onto your side before searching through the medicine cabinet that he passed for some Advil.

Walking into your kitchen, he filled a large glass of water for you before placing it on your side table along with the painkillers, covering your body with your flat sheet and comforter. You might have been completely plastered but he still believed that you were the prettiest, most beautiful drunk person he’d ever seen, your face pressed into your pillow which caused your lips to pout cutely.

The sound of the fridge running shocks Yugyeom out of the memory. Laying in his bed with his hands thrown over his eyes, his brain hurts just thinking about you and your drunk conversations with him the night before. For someone who seemed to be the quiet, responsible, prim and proper type, you were pretty mouthy when you had alcohol pumping through you. You have to be the most frustrating and confusing woman he’s ever met, to say the least.

But for the first time since meeting you, it seems like your true emotions were revealed to him last night. The way that you looked at him while dancing; arms wrapped around his neck and pupils dilated with the widest smile spread across your face; the dopey, dazed grin you had during the taxi ride, give him the slightest bit of hope that you might give him a chance.

It’s what pushes him to send you a message that will leave you flustered when you wake up.

Me:

You and me. Dinner tomorrow.

Gonna cash in your promise.

✧✧✧

[pt. 2] ⤎ [relevé series] ⤏ [pt. 4]

#got7 #got7creators #got7writerscollective #tw alcohol #got7 yugyeom #got7 kim yugyeom #yugyeom #kim yugyeom #got7 story #got7 imagines #got7 scenario #got7 au #got7 writing #kyg #yugyeom fic #kpop fic #myworks:releve

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vydante · 4 years

Text

Restart | 12

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Avengers x Male! Reader (romantically: multiple)

A/N: Missed y'all. I don't think I'm officially off of my hiatus, but I somehow managed to pull a chapter out of my ass after months of radio silence. I really did back myself into a corner with the last chapter, but hey, this is my story and I get to pace it however I want.

Sorry if things are worded weirdly, I'm writing them but they're going through one ear and out the other when it comes to comprehending what I actually wrote. No one will remember what happened, but that's okay. God, I really need a beta-reader... Anyways. Love y'all. XOXO.

Also, sorry if any of the formattings seems off. HTML doesn't really translate well over certain sites. (Tumblr, Quotev, Wattpad, and AO3 are now my main places for posting my works. Anywhere else, that's not me nor was it permitted by me.)

If you want a recap: You're in the process of jumpstarting Project Renaissance after realizing that you've just been doing basically nothing ever since you woke up in your old body. You've also taken to making video logs to report down your progress, and in the last chapter (that was in the POV of multiple video logs), it ended on a cliffhanger with Barnes being discovered and moved to a safe house.

This chapter takes place roughly after the last one.

If you're currently binge reading this story, this recap is only because last chapter was updated... Roughly more than 7 months before this chapter. So. Yeah. :D

Oh, and let's pretend that either A. Barnes doesn't have a tracking chip in his arm OR B. he did, but you got it out during the whole rescue-escapade. That's my bad, I straight up forgot about that possibility until I was like, close to 4000 words deep into this chapter. Now we're at roughly 8k+... Hehe. Whoops.

_______

You're not gonna call Barnes, Bucky.

There's a personal touch to the nickname that bothers you. How awful it sounds in your ears, to call the former husk of a man a name he no longer recognizes. There's history to that name, both on writing and in memory, though only in sparsity. Plus, it'll be difficult for you to associate Bucky to Barnes. A man with an identity to a man without.

So after the whole debacle of getting him out of the mini-Hulk playbox and into decent dry clothing, when he asks what his name is, you quietly debated to yourself what to tell him.

"... Your name is James Buchanan Barnes," you'd eventually reply.

He doesn't comment on the resignation in your tone, but you're confident that he certainly noticed it- surely, the ticks of being the Winter Soldier was still there, no matter how disoriented he must be. But whether courtesy was something that he hadn't forgotten whilst his brain was refried over and over like leftover KFC wings or he was simply too exhausted to ask, you didn't care.

Granted, for a man who should have a lot of questions on his mind, he's definitely proven himself to be a man of very few words.

An hour goes by, and in the midst of you trying your best to build a solid standing between the two of you, he's said so few words that you could probably count all of them on both of your hands.

If it weren't for the nods of affirmation, you'd think that his averted gaze from you would have meant that he wasn't paying attention at all, but honestly, you knew better than to judge him for that if he actually wasn't actually listening in the first place.

Hell, he could tear up the walls to the high heavens and you still wouldn't hold him against it, so you were just thankful that he was so docile, for someone who could snap your neck if he felt so inclined.

Though, as it turns out confusion and disorientation wasn't the actual reason why he was being so docile, you belatedly realize as you're stood in front of a blank-faced Barnes. You're in the middle of trying to give him a basic tour around the house when he quietly interrupted your monologuing.

"Mission parameters," you echoed his words, though mainly to yourself. He nods, and for once meets your eyes. There's neither confidence nor surrender in his eyes, and that makes your stomach churn. Chances are, he probably saw nothing wrong with asking such a thing.

"You want me to give you- mission parameters. Like- like your handlers would?" You laughed incredulously, but the humor was replaced with subdued hysterical horror.

You were aware of what they were. Aware of the types of hunts his Handlers- bastards- would sick him out on. Aware of what he did without a second thought. You saw those files, if only briefly. That was more than enough for you to see the type of expectations that came alongside "mission parameters".

He nods as if you were stating the obvious.

God.

You opened and closed your mouth, and for a split second, once you got past the horror of being asked to tell him what to do, a subtle realization crawled up your spine. In the midst of your impromptu introduction and briefing, you never really made a distinction as to what role you were supposed to play in all of this.

So it shouldn't be a surprise for Barnes to assume that you're his new- what? Handler? Caretaker? After all, as far as you can assume, that's probably all he knows; all he was conditioned to grow accustomed to, to expect his every move to be dictated by some outsider with no care to the wants or needs that Barnes has.

(Hell, if you were to make a reach right now, maybe Barnes thinks he doesn't have wants or needs. That he shouldn't.)

(In the background, a part of you simmer in silence.)

With your jaw clenched, you make an effort to make your voice as even as can be when you ask him, "You don't need mission parameters, Barnes. You're your own free man. You can- can make decisions on your own. You don't need me to tell you what you need to do."

Pray as you might, there's something about realizing that you said the wrong thing right after saying said words that make you wonder what you did to anger the higher powers that be to put yourself in the situation you're in right now.

Barnes doesn't say anything, but his eyes says it all. Confusion. Realization. Grief. Detachment. His metal hand clenches, and you're man enough to admit that it made your heart stutter in fear.

"I...", he mutters, "... don't understand."

You swallowed.

This...

This is gonna be tough.

_______

It's difficult to explain what self-autonomy and freedom meant to a man who is only capable of remembering being chained and held on a leash like a rabid dog.

Thankfully, it was your winter break, so you had a manageable excuse for being away from "home" for a few days, but you only had so long to try and establish to Barnes that you're not going to be able to be there with him as often as you are now (and even then, the time frame was too small to even make any sense of attachment).

You knew for sure you couldn't always be there for Barnes, so one thing was certain: he had to meet DAHLIA. And thankfully, since the whole safe house was yours, not even your father knew that DAHLIA, your own A.I., would be uploaded into the houses' built-in hardware.

(While the hardware was built with the intention of housing J.A.R.V.I.S. there as a standard, he ended up "moving out" the moment that the house became yours. Something about "not intruding on a teenager's privacy", but you're more than thankful for Tony's afterthought, even if you did end up taking slight advantage of his consideration.)

And surprisingly enough, Barnes wasn't really bothered by the concept of DAHLIA as much as you had initially expected. Of course, he didn't really talk to her, but it wasn't like he talked much in the first place.

(On a side note, it looks like DAHLIA seems to like the house, all things considered... So there's that.)

(The original DAHLIA was never installed here, instead she ended up "living" in a retirement house of sorts in a wooded area of New York. She never said anything about the house, so it's... Kind of endearing, to see that she actually might prefer this house instead. And mildly insulting, considering you personally decorated the other house.)

You ended up spending nearly the whole night trying to establish even the most basic of guidelines: use the bathroom whenever he needed to (you initially said phrased it as "wanted", but he promptly cut you off saying "The Asset does not have wants," which, rude, but also sad); whatever is in the kitchen is available for him to eat whenever, where ever; basic hygiene; and the most important one- if he had any questions, his first source would be you. And on the off-chance that you're not available, DAHLIA is always online and ready to help.

He gave a tentative nod, but you're somehow not confident that he might have interpreted it wrong. You're hoping he doesn't do anything to prove you right.

"Alright. So. Any questions?"

He stares at you for a beat too long before shaking his head.

He's still giving non-verbal answers for the most part, but it's better than nothing. You internally sighed and motioned him to follow you deeper into the safe house.

Considering that it was already pretty late by the time you managed to beat those guidelines into his head (maybe that should be worded better, but you never claimed to be a lyricist; it is what it is), he might be just as tired as you are from how long the day has been.

(Granted, this dude has been "asleep" for who knows how long, but it's the thought that counts.)

"You know where I'm taking you to?" you asked, not really expecting an answer from him.

"No," he responds from behind you. Color you surprised.

You turned into the hallway and stepped up to an unassuming door. You opened it to reveal an equally unassuming bedroom. Muted colors, modern design; it reeked Pepper's doing, knowing that Tony isn't as decoratively-inclined as she is.

Hah, bet she didn't expect that instead of housing you or your dad, it'll go to a super-solder that wasn't Steve instead.

(Not that Steve would ever have a reason to step foot in here, but in this line of work, you'd be stupid to be 100% sure about something.)

You motioned him to come into the room and tilted your head to the bed.

"This is your bedroom, pretty much where you'll be sleeping. There's a bathroom right over there," you motioned to the door adjacent to the entrance door, "and I'll be in the room right next to yours."

Barnes takes a second to process it all, and with a quick scan of the room with calculating eyes, he nods. You absentmindedly scratched the back of your neck.

"I mean, there's plenty of rooms here so if you don't like this one, just let me know and we'll probably move you to another room-" you rambled, secretly trying to get a move on so you'd finally get some shut-eye.

(What? You're not perfect, sleep is heavily slept on in this day and age. Hah.)

(God, you're definitely going to hell.)

"-and you know how to use a toilet, right?"

The raised eyebrow pointed at you definitely proves that that was a pretty stupid question, but hey, you can't take any chances. You shrugged, a tired smirk threatening to form on your lips.

"Well then. Can I leave it to you to settle down for the night, or...?" you left it open-ended.

He didn't say anything in response, only stared at the bed in front of him. There was a pregnant pause, but he nodded at you. There was a strange tilt to his eyes, but you didn't bother to think further into it as you were just thankful that you could finally rest.

"Well then, good night Barnes. I'll come by tomorrow morning and we'll continue to, er," you thought about it, "work, on your situation."

You made a swift exit out of his room and immediately into "your" room, which was literally right next to his. You immediately discarded your clothes and with a brisk shower and teeth brushing, you promptly dropped straight onto the bed with an audible grunt, wet hair soaking straight into the pillow.

Pulling the plush duvet to cover your body, you reached for your phone to check for any messages you might have gotten.

(3 from Tony; he asked where you were. You told him that you're staying at a safe house and that you needed a small break. It wasn't wrong, but definitely an omission of truth. A few days would be fine, right?)

(2 from Rhodey; it's a picture of a Goodwill's, and there's a silhouette in a nearby window of some guy. "This you?" he asks. "No ❤️," you sent back.)

(63 is from the group chat that the Avengers are in- ah, make that 64 and counting. It's just a bunch of nonsense from what you can gather, but you briefly scrolled through it anyways.)

Turning your phone off, you smushed your face into the pillow and sighed, a terrible knot forming at the pit of your stomach. With an open ear, you tried to hear any noise that could come from Barnes' room, but considering that the walls were reinforced and he was already quiet as it is, all you could hear was the AC running in the background.

"DAHLIA," you huffed, eyes drooping, "keep an eye on him, wake me up if anything happens."

"Got it," her voice echoes from the ceiling speakers.

You quietly tucked yourself in bed. As the exhaustion finally started settling in your body, the last thought that lingered in your head was "Man, I hope nothing bad happens tomorrow," before you drifted right off to dreamless slumber.

_______

The next day was, to say the least, a little disconcerting, but a bigger improvement to be sure.

Right after waking up, you begrudgingly put on some daytime appropriate clothes and stepped out into the hallway. You knocked on the door that was right next to yours, and gingerly opened it when you didn't hear much of a response.

"Good morning," you tentatively greeted. Barnes was sitting at the foot of the bed when you knocked on his door. He mumbled back a greeting and stands up to your eye level.

His clothes are still the same from last night, and judging by the clean state of his bed, he either woke up earlier than you expected or he was sat like that the whole night.

You're not too keen on finding out which was the case, but you had to.

"Sleep well?"

You stepped out of the doorway and motioned him to follow you. Briefly glancing down at your phone to see just a few messages waiting for you, you opted to ignore them for now.

"I slept."

He quietly stated from behind you. He avoided saying if he slept well or not, but at least the damn Terminator slept. You mentally deflated a little; the bar was set so low for him, you're not too sure who it's more insulting to- you or him.

(Of course, it's to him, that shouldn't be a question. Your feelings don't matter.)

"We're gonna have to wing this a little, but uh, here's the general gist of what's gonna happen."

Stepping into the kitchen, you're taken aback to last night as he tentatively stands across from you from the kitchen island. Really, you'd opt to go to the living room, but you both radiate too much nervous energy to really sit.

You opened the refrigerator and sighed when all that greeted you was water and non-perishables. Right. You just got here, it's not like there's gonna be freshly stocked food in here 24/7.

"DAHLIA, order some fresh food and get it delivered today. Charge it on my debit," you mumbled quietly.

DAHLIA doesn't say anything, but the refrigerator lights flicker a familiar green hue that keys you in that she heard you. You raised an impressed eyebrow; what an unnecessary feature for a refrigerator to have. You closed the door and turned around to face Barnes.

"I'm here to serve as, say, a guide for," you gestured to him, "your... rehabilitation, of sorts."

"For now, I can't really offer any... Professional help, on a technical level. I'm not- that's not my area of expertise. I'm an engineer at heart," actually, you really liked other things more than being an engineer, but your fate of becoming the CEO of SI was sealed the moment you decided to live with your dad, "so we're going to have to make a compromise on that."

You shook your head.

"If you were anyone else, I'd point you to a shrink," Barnes gives you a confused stare.

"Therapist," you clarified. He nods.

"But quite frankly," Zemo's face flashes in your memory, "I don't trust anyone to properly... Well, I don't trust anyone when it comes to the mental health of you, and the Avengers too, of course."

Pausing mid-rant, you raised an eyebrow at him.

"You... do know who the Avengers are, right?"

He nods and begins to rattle off a pre-scripted monologue. His eyes are blank as he started speaking.

"A group of top priority, compromised of highly skilled individuals, enhanced or otherwise specified. Threat priority ranges from 5 to 9. As of now, 6 active-duty members and 1 reserve member. The Asset is to not engage under any circumstance and reveal-"

"Alright alright, I get it- that's," you're a little offended that you're considered a "reserve member", but that's not technically wrong, "That's a lot to unpack there, but yeah. You- whew, you definitely know who the- we are."

(You've gotten into the habit of distancing yourself from the Avengers the moment that you had become CEO. You're still working on that, but the word "we" still feels wrong on your tongue.)

There's a little more life that came back to Barnes' eyes after you had snapped him out of it, and it's a bit surreal knowing that Barnes just kinda... runs on autopilot when prompted. The image of Barnes being strapped down in a chair and forced to learn and recite those kinds of things by heart is both horrifying and a little funny.

(Do you think they had a set curriculum he had to learn by?)

"So yeah. The Avengers gotta be careful when lookin' for shrinks, and so do you. There's just too many factors that go into gettin' a personal therapist. So for now," you shrugged, "you're stuck with me."

"What are they?"

"Hm?"

"The factors."

You shrugged.

"Well, for starters, you're- you were, HYDRA's prisoner," the muscle around his jaw visibly clenches when you mentioned HYDRA, but you powered through, "so they'll definitely be interested in getting their fight dog back. They're good at blending in and good at getting their musty little fingers into every nook and cranny. I wouldn't put it past them to have one of their agents go undercover as a therapist for hire. So that's one factor: trying to discern who is and isn't HYDRA."

You raised a finger.

"Then there's the fact that because you're such a... shall we say, top priority, er, asset," that word runs bitter on your tongue, "even if your shrink isn't HYDRA, they'll definitely be targeted by HYDRA if it ever came to light that they have a direct link to you. So there's reason number two: loose ends, and the risks that come with it."

You raised another finger. By now, Barnes has a hard but contemplative curl to his lips.

"And then not to mention how unique your case it. Barnes, you've been a POW for decades. Your brain- no offense buddy, but from what I can tell, it's been fried to hell and back. I don't even have to do any fancy brain scans to know. And that's not even including all the other stuff they probably did to you, only God knows."

You shook your head.

"There's too much at risk for you to get proper therapy right now. But. It's not impossible."

You think back to Shuri, and how she and the other Wakandan scientists were successful in both removing the trigger words and rehabilitating Barnes.

Well, you're not sure about the last part, since you never interacted with the Barnes of your time, but you'd assume that they did help with his subsequent mental health. You wouldn't really put it past them- T'Challa was a nice guy, from your limited interactions with him way into the future, and Shuri was buzzing with ideas and energy. If T'Challa's sympathy for Barnes wasn't enough, then Shuri's crave to help and experiment would supplement the balance plenty. Vice versa, too.

So yeah, future-Barnes' mental health was most likely addressed during his time in Wakanda. And it was almost guaranteed to have been a success.

So you're still gonna hold a torch for the possibility that Barnes' can come out of this as a relatively well-adjusted guy.

Not to mention B.A.R.F. As far as you know, the R&D team assigned to that was still progressing smoothly, but the only downside to that was that it wasn't going to be until a few more years before it's "perfected".

You were never really involved in any way with B.A.R.F. since you were both prepping for SI and finishing college. Your dad was definitely more involved in it than you were, but it's not like you could ask him to pull a few year's worths of experimentation and knowledge out of his ass and exponentially boost the rate of B.A.R.F.'s progress, so.

Helen Cho suddenly sprang to mind, but you quickly threw away that thought. Your- well, Barnes'- issue was neurological, Cho was all about cell regeneration and is a geneticist. So unless somehow the issue crosses over with Cho's line of work, she wasn't a possibility either. There was also Strange, but as far as you've heard the man was pretty... abrasive, even as a wizard. Hard to get a hold of, and very... Hard-headed.

Well, all of that was second hand since it came from Tony, but still. Maybe you could pull Tony in for some clout, but that'll just make him suspicious. God, maybe you shouldn't have kept the whole "I'm actually from the future" spiel a secret, otherwise you wouldn't have to be doing all this crap alone.

Oh well. In for a penny, out for a pound.

You sighed, already feeling the dull thump against your skull starting to form.

"So what now?" Barnes asks. He's less tentative than he was last night, but still soft-spoken when he talks.

"Well, you're stuck with me, bud. I'll do my best to get you prepped for the actual rehabilitation, but honestly, that might take a little longer than you'd expect. So, we'll just- well."

You eyed the outfit he was donning, which was literally your clothes- so it was a few sizes too small for him. He doesn't really seem bothered by it, and if it weren't for the fact that he's sort of proved himself to be neglectful of voicing his own preferences, you'd be a little more inclined to appreciate the view of one very, very beefy super-soldier.

But alas.

Life never really works in your favor, so.

"We'll need to get a few essential things out of the way. Food is already on its way, I assume you aren't allergic to anything?"

He pauses, and there goes that familiar glaze forming over his eyes. You sigh, knowing that he was probably searching through his mental "data-bases" for any allergies, but thankfully it's not long as he blinks back into attention.

"None."

"Yeah, I could'a figured, what with your super-soldier serum."

(You're pretty sure that also makes him immune to cancer, but maybe that's just you glorifying it.)

"So: the food situation is cleared. Now, we need to get you some new clothes because, uh, those don't look very comfortable."

"Comfort does not matter. I am adequately dressed."

You snorted. Maybe it's better that you don't tell Barnes that he's wearing a Sharknado tee and some sweats that have "Eat this!" printed on his behind.

(And maybe it's better that you didn't remember that yes, these are indeed still your clothes.)

"Comfort does matter, my guy. DAHLIA, take some quick measurements."

The kitchen light dims and brightens, shining lime green into the kitchen. It lingers and turns back into that white-blue that sometimes makes your eyes burn when you've been up for too late into the night.

"Seargent Barnes' measurements are now on file. You two want to see the available catalog?"

Right where the kitchen island was, a panel opens up to reveal a hologram of a bunch of articles of clothing, all of which has been adjusted to Barnes' size- or an approximate at least, since there's some that's labeled X or XL.

"Barnes? You got anything you want to do right now or...?"

You gestured to the hologram in front of you.

His face contorts a little, not too noticeable at a quick glance. He doesn't look uncomfortable per se, but judging by the downwards curl of his lips, he's definitely not excited to see the hologram.

You flicked your wrist and it disappeared just as quick as it appeared. Strangely enough, his expression doesn't loosen up as his eyes flicker upwards to yours.

"Hey, that's okay. If it's the hologram, that's no biggie, we'll just move over to the, uh, TV in the next room over. C'mon."

You jerked your head and motioned him to follow you. His face laxes and he walks behind you without a word.

_______

You two ended up getting a lot done all things considered.

Barnes seemed pretty bothered by how many clothing choices there are, but when you asked if he wanted you to just curate a list for him, he easily relented. He was hovering over you the whole time, but you weren't too bothered by it as you were too busy browsing for him.

You went from site to site searching for clothes that screamed "The Winter Soldier", but all that was coming up was clothes in fifty shades of black and with no pizzaz. You did pass by a few Avengers-related merch (especially yours), but he said nothing when you added two or three into your cart, so he probably doesn't care. You did show him a lot of clothes that you thought would fit him, and he nodded to pretty much all of them.

By the time you were done looking for clothes, the doorbell had rung.

("That was quick," you reminisced. DAHLIA was quick to respond.

"It came from a nearby Walmart."

"Huh.")

Barnes' head jerked as his eyes were trained on the entrance door. You patted his arm, and his eyes glance at you.

"Relax, it's just the food. DAHLIA ordered some groceries earlier."

You stood up to go answer the door, and Barnes followed suit. You raised an eyebrow at him, but he doesn't really seem like he's gonna back down anytime soon.

"You know... You can follow behind, but you're gonna have to be in the shadows or something 'cuz, you know... Just- if someone's still at the door, don't let them see you okay?"

He nods, almost mechanically so, and you turned around and walked to the entrance door.

Opening the door, you were greeted with a few big boxes. You raised an eyebrow and glanced out through the door; there are no cars nearby, and DAHLIA whispers in your ear that the clearing's safe- not a single life signature anywhere.

"Barnes, the coast's clear," you called out, already reaching down to grab one of the boxes. You grunt, adjusting your grip before you lifted and turned around.

Barnes, having already popped out of whatever dark corner he was in, is already a few feet behind you.

"Hey, you don't mind helping me bring in those boxes, will you?"

You were already walking past him, but you barely caught the briefest flash of furrowed eyebrows before you saw him walk over to the door. You mentally shrugged, but placed the box in the kitchen and went back over to the door to get the other one.

By the time you were done setting down the box, Barnes had already closed the door and was standing under the arch connecting the kitchen to the main hallway.

You motioned him over, and he complied.

"What is inside?"

You're almost proud that you didn't jump. He doesn't talk much, but when he does it always startles you.

"Groceries, but I don't know what specifically. DAHLIA chose all of it. And by the looks of it, she chose a lot. So. You're gonna help me unpack and we'll probably- well, I'll probably make some food. You can help if you want."

Your back was turned to him, and you started unloading the boxes and their contents. Barnes doesn't move for a hot moment, but he squats down next to you and starts unwrapping the smaller boxes that were inside it.

"You don't mind if I put on some music, right?"

You glanced at him.

"I... don't. Mind," he mumbles, tentatively glancing back at you. You gave him a brief thumbs up and turned your attention back to

"DAHLIA, play something chill. Low volume."

_______

Pretty much, the whole day consisted of unpacking all of the groceries that had been delivered. You ended up pausing, having gotten tired of being awake without food in your stomach, and made some food for the two of you.

You tried conversing with him, trying to get him to at least feel more comfortable, and it... kinda worked. There are a few touchy subjects that he doesn't really seem to like talking about (he doesn't really vocalize his discomfort, but his flinches, no matter how minute they were, spoke louder than words). HYDRA, obviously. Anything revolving the Avengers put him off as well, among other things.

Really, most of the eating consisted of small talk and eating noises, but at least some of the tension in his shoulders had lessened by the time that you two needed to get back to unpacking. Hell, by the time that was done, Barnes' clothes had arrived.

(Oh, the benefits of being insanely rich. Say it with me kids: Thank you, Tony!)

You're usually a little apprehensive about buying clothes online, but color you surprised when not only did all of them fit; Barnes didn't have a single problem with any of them.

"You like 'em?"

You whistled when Barnes came out of his bathroom, now back in your clothes that you had given him originally. He tried all of them on, and you ended up buying him so many clothes that a lot of time had passed by the time he was done. You just sat on his bed, slowly collecting all of the clothes and ripping off the tags, damned if he didn't like one of them; you'll just take it instead.

"They're adequate," he nodded. In his hand were the folded clothes (A camo tee and dark sweatpants), and he set them onto his bed with the other folded clothes.

"Did any of 'em uncomfortable? Too tight, any of the fabric feels wrong...?"

You left the question open-ended as you helped him dump it into a laundry bin. He doesn't respond right away as if he didn't hear you. His eyes flicker over to yours.

"... No. They- I..." the muscle under his eye spasms, "I liked them..."

You grinned, "Glad to hear that, guess we got lucky that none of these was a dud, huh?"

The ghost of a smile that was on his lips appeared briefly, but it was gone just as fast as it had appeared.

Really, that had basically been the peak of the day before things had started to mellow out a little bit. But that was okay, you took whatever it was that Barnes gave, and if it was just the smallest smile you've ever seen on a man, then so be it.

Afterward, the day somehow managed to blend together and pass along like an exhale. Not much happened, since you couldn't really- well, offer anything that could scientifically and medically help him. So you opted to just- try to get him up to date as much as possible.

Honestly, by the time that you had gotten through the first three decades (starting when he was born), it was already pretty late into the night.

(He had a lot of questions, and you really didn't blame him. Hell, most of the more personal information really came from DAHLIA, because as much as you sympathized with the man, you really didn't care to learn about his whole entire biography.

But, at least you answered most of the history related questions. If you had to go through a few history college classes back when you were in college, then you'll be damned if you didn't at least make an effort to learn and internalize them.)

Barnes didn't really show any signs of exhaustion if the casual leg bouncing wasn't enough, but you sure were pooped.

(What? Unlike your dad (and most of the Avengers) you actually had a normal internal clock. For the most part, anyway.)

"Well, as much as I liked talking about prehistoric times," you sounded sarcastic, but you actually did like it, "I gotta sleep, I don't run on super-soldier energy like you do bub."

You stood up, stretched, and saw that Barnes was now standing up as well.

"Should I...?"

Raising an eyebrow, you huffed in good nature, "Go to sleep? Yeah, probably. We're not done with the History101 crash course, and we'll probably be talking about other things tomorrow as well," especially about the fact that you're not gonna be at the safe house often soon, "so we both need the energy for that. So, go clean up and get some Z's, yeah?"

"Oh."

He looked a little lost but followed you back into your shared hallway. Stopping in your doorway, you turned your head to glance at Barnes.

"Good night, Barnes," you nodded, not waiting for a response as you headed into your room. It was quiet and almost inaudible, but you still heard it with your ears before you had closed the door shut.

"... Good night."

You stood in your room, a sudden wave of both exhaustion and dread flooding your body. You shook it off though; it was just the nervous jitters hitting you at an inopportune time.

But really, you trusted your guts almost as much as you trusted Tony.

So as you brushed your teeth and did your business in the bathroom, you tried to quell the anxiety that was building up in your chest.

"DAHLIA, keep an eye on him."

"Gotcha, doll."

You sighed, dropped onto your bed, and hoped that whatever it was that might happen, you'd be prepared for it.

_______

And lo and behold, it didn't even have to be the next morning before shit all hit the fan when DAHLIA wakes you up in the middle of the night (3 A.M., to be specific).

"-oll, wake up! Barnes is having a panic attack!"

It takes half a second to process the fear in DAHLIA's voice. It takes another to process her words.

Fuck.

Scrambling immediately out the bed, you thanked whatever higher being there is that you were sleeping with at least some sweatpants on as you booked it straight to your door and right through Barnes'.

(Maybe you should have joined the football team, because that would have been one wicked tackle. Ha, yeah right, you know nothing about football.)

The lights were on, most likely DAHLIA's doing, and his bedsheets were clearly mussed up. He's nowhere to be seen, so your eyes jump to the joined bathroom door, and lo and behold, there was light bleeding through the cracks.

You quickly approached the door and opened it, throwing away the worry that he might have been absolutely naked.

The good news was that he wasn't nude.

The bad news was that he was hunched over on the ground, right in front of the bathroom counter, and he's gripping his head so tightly you would have thought his skull would have caved in.

Terror shoots down your spine like a lightning bolt, and you immediately rushed to the curled over Barnes, adrenaline rushing through you as a million thoughts ran through your head.

"Barnes!"

He doesn't appear to hear you, groaning and panting as he further curled in on himself. His muscles spasm, hard, and you're at a loss at what to do. He's sickly pale, and the sheen on his skin makes you want to vomit. His panting is shallow, and if you weren't sure if the glint that shone in your eyes was the reflection off of the marble floors or a puddle of saliva coming from Barnes.

You're not sure if touching him right now is a good thing, but you'll be damned if he wasn't your responsibility now. You reach out to him, wrapping one arm around his hunched back and the other trying to pry at his wrists.

(Would you have touched him, if you didn't have the reassurance that DAHLIA has your back?)

(Shut up.)

Maybe you were tensing up for him to go all "Winter Soldier" mode on you, but he's the one that tenses, even more, when you touched him. Thankfully, he doesn't resist your pull as his arm is limp the moment you tried to pull it back, but it doesn't change the fact that he's shaking, badly, and your mind is frozen in limbo.

"DAHLIA, what-"

You're at a loss for words, but DAHLIA, sweet DAHLIA already knows what you were about to ask.

"Sergeant Barnes was displaying elevated levels of anxiety, however, it did not seem to warrant any mentions. I thought-"

She cuts herself off, almost as if she was worried that she had made a wrong call. You swallowed, knowing that despite being a baby A.I., she's never done wrong by you- both in the future and now.

"You thought what?"

You try to rub Barnes' back as if he was a dog that had needed soothing. He groans, but you're not sure if you should interpret that as a hurt groan or a relieved one. You paused and moved your hand away, hovering it just inches away from his back, and his breath hitches.

Your hand dropped onto his back once again, and you could feel the muscles on his muscles spasm a little; his whimpers aren't as loud and painful (though, they're still more than worrying).

So, on the very small bright side, back rubs don't seem to be hurting him either. It's a small win, but a win for sure.

"You- my visuals were clear in the conclusion that you saw it. His discomfort. Your body language and expression acknowledged it but you refrained from addressing it. I- acted under the assumption that it was all under control..."

Something in your mind pauses for a pregnant second before your eyes widened.

"What?"

DAHLIA doesn't even get the chance to reply as Barnes jerks his hands away from yours and pulls at his scalp again. You lurched forward.

"Hey! No!"

You bit back a growl as you grabbed his wrists once again. You yank them back down to his sides as his body jolts, a sob ripping through him. You placed a hand on his chest and tried to boost him back up so he'll have his back against the bathtub that's behind him.

He offers little to no resistance as his back makes contact with the bathtub, but he's slumped into himself. He pulls his knees forward and curls his head into them. For a super-soldier, it's almost cute how hard he's trying to take up as little space as possible if it weren't for the fact that your heart was absolutely breaking at the sight of him.

"Oh, Barnes..."

In shuddered breaths, he mumbles something incoherent.

"...-an't, I- I- I-.... -can't..."

He shakes his head, jolting as if someone had shocked him. You rubbed his arm, glancing down at what you can now confirm to be a puddle of saliva, and then over to the trash can right next to the toilet. You're not too sure if you should get it just in case he decides to vomit, but you're ready to lunge for it the moment Barnes shows any signs of gagging.

"DAHLIA," you spoke at a lower volume, "what- when was he, um, uncomfortable."

"Two nights ago, roughly 22:00, when you told Sargeant Barnes that he was his own free man. Yesterday morning, 08:00, when you asked if he wanted to do anything prior to browsing the available clothing catalog. Right after, he was also discomforted by the catalog, before you offered to buy clothes for him. At-"

"That's- that's enough," you breathlessly muttered. DAHLIA doesn't say anything else, but the air has suddenly become heavier than you remembered.

Your head was almost dizzy with not only how many instances Barnes had been anxious in such a short time, but also at how you remembered each and every instance with startling clarity.

Barnes was anxious at the idea of freedom, but you put it off and opted to just give him a nickel tour of the house.

Barnes was anxious when you asked if he wanted to do anything before looking at clothes, but looked too relieved when you brushed over it.

Barnes was anxious at the idea of shopping for fucking clothes but was okay after you took over for him.

The taste of stomach acid burned your tongue, as yesterday's dinner threaten to rise at the implication of all of this.

"DAHLIA," you mumbled, "the- the rest of those instances- do they..."

You trained your eyes on Barnes.

"Do they all- follow the same... The same- pattern?"

DAHLIA was always in tune with you, even after the time jump.

"... Yes," she lamented.

"God..."

Now, you're not sure who that trash can would be really for; you or Barnes.

"Barnes..."

You murmured quietly. He flinches, and his shaking hasn't gotten any better.

"What- what was it? Was it- was it all too much? God, I'm so sorry, it probably was, wasn't it? I should have- fuck, I should have taken it more slowly, I-"

Barnes shakes his head, stopping you in your rambling. You blinked rapidly.

"Then- was it..." you paused, "... Was it the choices?"

It's almost expected that he doesn't answer you straight away, but he nodded anyway.

"I... It was- it was too much- I couldn't- I don't know- I-"

His breath shuddered with each word as if it hurt him to just even speak right now. You shushed him, ignoring the intrusive thought that it was akin to shushing an animal.

"Hey, hey, it's- it's okay. You'll be okay."

It's not much, what you're saying to him, and it's no surprise that they didn't do much anyway.

Honestly, you didn't know what to say at this point. There didn't even seem to be any phrasing in the known English language that would be able to comfort a man with as much baggage on his shoulders as Barnes, and briefly, just briefly, you wished that you were literally anywhere in the world, but here.

You tried thinking about anything that came from your (albeit limited) interactions with him between the past days that would help ground him, before something jolts you from deep within.

("What are my mission parameters," Barnes asked from behind you.

You paused.

"Mission parameters?")

You didn't even realize that you had said that out loud, but Barnes had tensed up even more before you could even take it back. He held his breath, audibly swallowing.

("You don't need mission parameters, Barnes. You're your own free man. You can- can make decisions on your own. You don't need me to tell you what you need to do.")

("I... Don't understand...")

You spoke on impulse.

"You... You need them, don't you? Mission parameters."

Immediately, you regretted even speaking up just as those words left your mouth.

While every fiber in your being hoped that it wasn't true, there was a small inkling in your head that already knew the answer to your question. It was the only thing that was barely even logical enough to make sense.

His apprehension of making a choice.

How uncomfortable in his own skin he always appeared, despite it even being just a few days.

How relieved he always looks, when the choice was already made for him.

His body tenses underneath your hand, but it's the slight bob of his head that makes your stomach drop. You thought- what a fool you were- you thought he'd be okay without being ordered around, but that was nothing but wishful thinking.

(What was the saying? It's hard to teach an old dog a new trick, was it?)

(Yeah.)

Looking at how only a few days of what you had originally thought was Barnes' newfound freedom turned out to be much more of a nightmare for Barnes, it might just be better for the both of you to push aside your comfortability and start making an honest-to-God investment into Barnes' recovery, even if that means that you had to take a step backward.

A very, very risky step backward.

It was a shot in the dark, but it was the only thing that you could place your bets on for now.

You just hoped that your aim wouldn't fail you now.

"Okay, well... How about this, Barnes, here's your main- your main mission, okay? Become a free man. Hey, no, look at me," you swiveled his head so he could look at you. His eyes were panicked, crazed, and irredeemably sad, but you had to make sure nothing crossed through your face so he'd know that everything will be okay. Your grip on both sides of his face was firm as you pleaded with him.

"Your only 'mission' right now? Breathe," ironically, his breath hitched, "If not for your own sake, then for mine."

You swallowed, heart stuttering as you looked into his glassy eyes.

"Please," you let your desperate prayer lingered in the air.

Maybe it was being given a task to accomplish after days of trying to figure out what to do with his supposed new "freedom", or it was how non-labor intensive and just... simple, his new mission parameter was, but it was almost instantaneous how all of the tension in his body dissipated into thin air.

Witnessing the moment of mercy upon grief through Barnes, no matter how brief or temporary it may be, was almost cathartic.

Almost.

(Perhaps you shouldn't be looking for absolution vicariously. But you were never really a good person, were you?)

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A/N: I've read a lot of WinterIron fics. While I have read a lot of interpretations about how Barnes would have reacted when he was freshly freed from HYDRA, this is how I choose to interpret it- one that would best fit the story for now. Next chapter, since I couldn't fit it in this chapter, is a special, but it is very much important and related to the story, and Barnes as a character. If you're familiar with some WinterIron tropes, this won't be too foreign of an idea. Not too sure about other ships/ stories, but. Ah, I'm rambling. Anyways, see you next year lol.

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Masterlist

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Tagged: @unsolvetheheckoutofit @tonystanktheirondad @ludwigvonbaethoven @rspctot7 (if you’re not @/ fabledxmystery, so sorry for the mistag! LMK if it’s not you) @tolkoskott @klanceiscannon14 @deos-life (grr it won’t let me tag you) @kp1183 (kperla1183) @xyuriko-akamine (akabaneyuriko) @kettnerjanea @soldier-42 @daybreakmistakes @spnfanboy777 @crash-zite @jm-cy

#male reader #avengers x reader #avengers x male reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x male reader #bucky barnes x reader #restart #reader insert

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

Note

I loveeeee the way ur brain works and i like all ur posts and love reading them. Its Jimin day today and i wont lie that i am feeling a bit sad about whole JK not posting on JM bday because he was getting active on Social media again and i thought its because of JM bday coming soon but i hope they are happy and JM had a blast celebrating his bday.. it annoys me how other ship( u know which ship) is happy and making fun about this situation and calling Jikook bond fake and nonexsistant. 1/2

Ahhhhhh this topic!

Also me:

Packing my bags off these shipping streets. Jk don disgrace us. Lol. Kidding. If more than anything today has solidified my faith in JK and Jikook and while y'all are jumping ship imma hold the fort. Hashtag Jikook for life!

I've been receiving a lot of questions about this, about JK not posting for JM's birthday and I haven't answered any of them because- well I passed out. So...

Anywho,

Jk didn't post true, but have you thought about what it would have meant for him and JM if he had posted?

Now I see a lot of people running through the ship streets shouting Jikook broke up, something was off between them, Jikook was never real, jikook this- Jikook that- y'all need to calm your horses or I swear to God!

I mean I am down for all that wild gossip and angst but I think y'all is tripping.

Do I think they are in a bad place, HELL NO. Do I think they are not real? HELL NO! Do I think JK don lost his minds? ABSOLUTELY.

Lol

No but seriously, I'm fascinated by all of this. I'm in pain, can't process shit but when it comes to Jikook I'm always intrigued and fascinated by them.

I'm mostly fascinated by why JK pulled a 5/8, geared up for JM's birthday but then posts crickets on Jimin's birthday as you've said.

Is it me or does this whole thing feel like the tattoo girl scandal all over again? Lmho.

Up until now, I've avoided addressing Asks about Jikook coming out, JK proposing and stuff like that because those territories are a bit tricky for me- to speculate on those, I find I'd have to speculate on whether marriage is something both of Jikook want, whether both of Jikook want to come out but these are conversations I don't think y'all are ready for with me.

Not when I believe one of them, if you've been following my train of thoughts you'd know which, is not ready to make such commitments, joking about marriage and shit- yes, that tiny man. Lol.

I mean the backlash I get for the tamer things I share on here- chilee, y'all is about to eat me up for this. Here goes nothing. Mama pray for me.

I have said, late 2018 to the middle of 2019 is one of the moments I sincerely felt JK was going to 'out' Jikook just based on the way he was moving through that era until that impromptu hiatus and the following scandal.

Out Jikook as in OUT Jikook- I've told y'all Jikook have been asserting themselves against eachother. JK has been asserting himself and part of that self assertion ties in with his sexuality. He is tired of hiding. He's been tired since 2016- trouble this one.

Do I think JM is ready to come out- No. He doesn't want to come out but he doesn't want to hide hide either. Dude just want to stay in that glass closet.

Throughout my posts, I've speculated this has been a huge part of their on and off dynamics since November last year. Jk coming off too strong, JM asking for space- yall know don't make me repeat myself.

November 2019 up until today is also one such periods I felt JK was going to out Jikook, inspite of all the ups and downs they've experienced this season.

JK scares me to be honest with you. I keep saying people are looking at him wrong. Hell, people are looking at Jikook dynamics wrong I feel.

All the times Jikook have almost been accidentally outed, who's been the most terrified? It's not JK.

Jimin's face when RM said JK sneaks into JM's bed at night, his face when they walked into JK's room on Bon V and saw the cameras. I have an entire dissertation on this on my wall please get with it. Lol

Whatever silent protest JK's been on since JM's birthday last year- Not gonna lie, I felt JK was not posting for the others so he could post on JM's birthday this year as a way of coming out with him? You know, make a bold statement like he's done over the years? I'm delusional but also dead serious.

Each time I feel JK's come close to this pivotal moment, something's happened. I swear Jikook is taking years off my life- I'm exhausted.

Why is he trying to out their relationship on his own and not do that with the consent of Jimin? I'm gonna pray to God, y'all can read my mind with everything I have been saying since my posts because this is cutting it too close for me- and I'm exhausted so maybe another post next time.

Like I've said, I really believe they are in a good place this time around. Y'all know me, I don't shy from angst, I'd say if I felt there's been something off with them since they fixed whatever they were going through early half of the year.

The only tension I've sensed between them lately was on day two of the online concert when JM got a little too excited with trying to sell the sexual tension fantasy in his other ships and JK didn't look like he was happy about.

Later during the curtain call you could see dude cold stoning JM resulting in JM doing what he does best in such instances- clinging on to JK for their life. Lol.

He vanished from Namjoon's side real quick to take the bow next to JK but JK- Y'all check that moment out for yourself, see what I'm talking about.

Is that why he didn't wish Jimin a happy birthday? I don't think so. I think he put a lot of thought and preparation towards this moment to make something like this undo all of that- that is if my suspicions about what he was trying to do this year is right.

Jimin gone wake up married one of these days he won't know what hit him! Lmho.

It is why, I don't buy this whole he didn't post for the others which is why he didn't post for Jimin narrative. When have you known Jk to care about things like these?

The man literally got a birthday present for Jimin gave it to him in the presence of some of the members without doing same for them. Singling JM out like this is nothing new to him. He has done so consistently over the years to let this deter him.

The question y'all should be asking is why he didn't post for the others in the first place. They are all friends and posting for eachother's birthdays is a long standing tradition in BTS so why is he breaking from this culture all of a sudden?

Is he rebelling? Is he protesting? What is he trying to do? Right?

This moment has been building up since last year after JM's birthday and I honestly believed he was going to go through with it- hell I bought a wedding dress and shit- Jikook you son of bish!

I have said the company is giving them much room to be themselves, RM isn't breathing down their necks, JM looked like he was finally committed- everything looked great between them in my opinion except perhaps for the growing tensions between JK, V and Namjoon- If you've been paying any attention to their recent Twitter war.

I hate speculating based on nothing, so I'm just going to point out to you my observations without drawing conclusions- I'll share my thoughts on what these moments means when I've had more content to peruse and analyze from now- but for now you can make of it what you will:

1. JK starts a count down on Twitter, JM responds and continues the countdown.

Now I clocked, the moment JK posted this on the 5th that he had something up his sleeves with regards to Jimin which I shared with y'all. He was going for a 5/8/13 it's not news now.

2. After Jimin posts day 4 for the countdown, who ever was going to post after him was going to have to post day 3 to continue the countdown right? But Tae posts a V-cut instead breaking that chain.

Now I remember joking about this moment with a friend, rolling my eyes exclaiming, here they go again! V is trying to sabotage JK yet again, and he'd turn around and ask why their friendship is dwindling. The pettiness and passive aggressiveness of it all!

That moment reminded me of when he called JK out for attempting to eyefuck JM through the viewfinder in the Dynamite MV reaction video. Remember that? Same energy to me.

They do shit like this and their shippers will not take note but will turn around and act surprised when we say Taekook ain't all that- rolling my eyes.

3. Hobi continues the countdown with day 3 and RM posts something random the next day but I think it was to neutralize the Taekook shenanigans. Neutralizing is what RM does best- we been knew.

4. Jk posts his Savage Love cover on the 8th and equally doesn't partake in the countdown he himself initiated because- Savage.

5. Suga posts day 2. RM and Jin posts day 1 and Tae posts D-Day on the D day to promote the concert. Yadda yadda yadda.

Now I didn't think much of this moment to be honest- i merely took a mental note of it for future reference, and was paying close attention to their interactions at the concert- which we will talk about soon..

I didn't make much of this bit until VJoonKook became a hold out on Jimin's birthday. They were the last three to post, two of whom ended up not posting at all for Jimin"s birthday- fucking traitors.

It was at this point I felt compelled to put on my tinfoil hat. And reevaluate the situation.

Why were these three people the same trio engaged in that little squabble just a few days ago on the timeline? I wondered.

It felt as if Taekook were engaged in a Russian Roulette racing the clock while Joonie stood by waiting to neutralize whatever shit those two were going to pull on the timeline.

Call me delusional but I felt JK was going to post, Tae was going to try to one up him with a ridiculous post or counter his post- V and his fucking VMin agenda! Lmho

RM was going to end up mirroring whatever JK was going to post to neutralize it as per usual- leave me alone. I said I'm delusional. Let me be. Lol.

There's just a lot going on all at once and it's easy to lose sight of subtle moments like these when they happen.

Like Jimin saying he would be on VLive soon, which first of all- yay!

Y'all know I've been keeping my eyes on the app, most especially how the members are going to use it post IPO, post Soop- I have a lot of questions; will they be monitored like they were in May? Will they be able to have intimate interactions with the fans like before?

Y'all know my theory about Jikook and the VLive stuff so I'll leave it there.

Now as for what this moment here means, I think it's a humbling experience for all of us but mostly for Jimin-JK you sonova bish! Lol

Jimin is the one who loves to flex his bond and relationship with JK, he loves to show off their relationship. He is the one who's been called all sorts of names under the sun just because of his relationship with JK- even if they are friends.

None of the members have suffered and paid a price for their relationship with JK the way Jimin has throughout the years. It is why I hate it when people compare the others to him. Even if it placates you and lessens your insecurities please don't.

I'm not pressed about no ship wars. Hell, I often start one myself- what? fun.

I'm worried for Jimin mostly.

I think JK more than anyone knows how this looks. Which is why I really don't think this is what he was aiming for all along. To make Jimin look this way- again not to say JM is better than the others he didn't post for.

I don't know what's going on with JK now but I am not about to tell you this moment is nothing. It is not nothing.

I know people want to console themselves with the whole my partner don't gotta show off on social media on my birthday to show he loves me- please shut up. Or may be don't. Y'all con shippers confound me.

This is Jikook here, showing is an integral part of their dynamics. Isn't that why people call them a fanservice ship? Because they show so much? Because they do so much?

Jikook like to show off their bond, they like claiming eachother, they like reassuring eachother and I'm sorry but Park Jimin's father set such high standards for his son's birthday for anyone who claim they love him to pull stunts like this. Do y'all know Jikook at all?! I have to ask.

Jimin loves to be treated like he is different and special. It's his love language. We know this, BTS knows this, JK knows this- don't make excuses for JK if at the very least you can't see what he was trying to do here.

Even if you don't think they are a couple they are best friends- at the bare minimum. It doesn't take more than a few seconds to login and wish a friend a happy birthday- Hobi made four and he is not dating Jimin. Just saying.

You can't yell Jikook show us a lot hence there's no need for wild theories and assumptions and bully people who come up with wild theories and then in the same breath say they don't have to openly show us they care about eachother for them to be real- Y'all are going to ship by faith now? Chileee.

I have said JK likes to retract and conceal and only shows what he chooses to show and this was his choice. It's as simple as that. He chose not to post.

He didn't do it because of no damn other members.

He occupies a huge space in JMs life to not know what this moment says about him and his highly publicized relationship with Jimin- chileee, whatever did park Jimin do to you, JK?! Jesus Christ!

Havent heard of a betrayal this grand since the birth of Judas Iscariot- Judas is that you? Lmho.

I joke but I don't find this funny at all. Bless them.

It's one thing to not post for the others, but it's different for Jimin. And this is not to say the others don't matter to JK, they do. He's called them all family but then again he hasn't placed any one of them on a pedestal the way he's placed Jimin on a pedestal now has he? So we cannot assume Jimin means the same to him as the others mean to him.

Isn't that why we ship them?

Personally, I'm hurt by all of this. It hurts me that some people are going to use this as an excuse to tease and bully Jimin, call him a liar, call into question the years of friendship between Jikook, call into question any future interactions between them- I don cried my eyes out all day for Jimin but also for JK.

It hurts that I have to defend JK and Jikook to anyone. The task wasn't easy before all of this- not that anybody sent me. Who died and made me their spokesperson. Chileee

But please let's not dismiss this moment or belittle it. It's monumental- to me anyway.

JK was on to something I'm just curious to know what stopped him this time around. I want to know if he plans on not posting at all for anyone in the future. How long is he going to keep at it?

He's tried to out them twice. Will he do it again? How is he going to do it? What is Jimin going to do if indeed this is what JK had been planning, how is this going to affect their dynamics- I'm excited for their journey however it goes.

It's their journey unauthored. I'm just here to observe and report- and may uWu while I'm at it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, we gotta ask ourselves, had JK posted anything at all today knowing full well he hasn't posted at all for anyone in the group all year, that what would that have meant for their relationship? What message would that have sent?

While we lament about this moment, let's also take a minute to ponder over what this moment might have signified if JK had actually posted.

Everything he did in the days leading up to Jimin's birthday pointed to the fact he was definitely going to post. To me it felt he was gonna come out. He was. And if he had done it- my god!

JK isn't my favorite person right about now. He can go ahead and step on leggos. No kithes for him🙄

But I have faith in him. Always. He's consistently shown and proven his love and loyalty for Jimin through out the years. You don't nibble on a man's ear in front of sixty thousand people, to find posting a simple message on his birthday tedious. This is Jikook. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.

I wish I could tell yall, this moment means nothing, that JK not posting is not a big deal but I can't. This moment is everything.

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikook #jikook theories #kookmin analysis #jikook analysis #kookmin #jikooktheories #kookmintheories #jikook is real #ask goldy #ask response #ask about jikook #goldy #nightswithkookmin #jikook scenarios

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phantom-curve · 3 years

Text

find the strength, find the melody pt. 5

this is still a working title. I just can’t decide if it fits or not, so feel free to offer any suggestions! once I finish this fic I’m going to go back and reblog it in it’s entirety and I promise I will finalize and update the title for all the reblogs to make it easier to find in the future. I’m probably also going to post the completed fic to AO3, possibly with some slight editing updates. I’ll add the link once that’s active.

also, I want you all to know that I almost missed a typo in this chapter that would have had Julie biting her nip instead of her lip so you’re welcome for that.

also also, this chapter solidified my decision to write this fic from Luke’s perspective once I finish Julie’s. my god, the things happening in this boy’s head during this scene had me taking a bath and calling my husband for cuddles at 2pm. HE’S JUST TOO SOFT. Reggie and Alex will be more prominent in his story. their characters are so fun to write, but harder to work into Julie’s story until it’s closer to the end.

to be fully honest, I’m not entirely happy with the cut-off on this chapter, but I felt like y'all deserved all 3,084 words after a 6 day hiatus so I had to pick a slightly more awkward end spot. hope it makes up for taking so long to update!

tag list (lmk if you want me to add you!): @blue-hat-girl, @lwhoscribbles, @bluefyoto94, @5sosmukefan, @moonlightxnder, @leahthewonder, @kat-maybe-not

Julie didn’t expect to see Luke the next day. When her alarm went off at 6:45 that morning, she woke up with a start, heart racing as memories of last night flooded back. She had been ready to defend herself and Luke to her father, but it had been business as usual in the Molina household. Her father had gotten up like normal and gone about his morning without any hiccups from a very cute, unexpected teenage boy showing up. Julie could hear him leaving for work now, calling up a loving goodbye to her in between shouts at Carlos to hurry his butt into the car. When she peeked out of her window at the studio it looked exactly the same as it always did, empty and still. For a moment, she was sure that she dreamed the entire thing.

Something felt different in her soul though. Realigned, like a part of her she didn’t realize was missing had finally made its way back home. Everything in her body felt lighter as she got dressed and floated down the stairs to grab her breakfast. She was riding high on cloud nine, humming actually humming! under her breath as she moved around the kitchen, when a loud rap at the back door startled her. Flynn would have just walked in so it couldn’t be her. Her dad, too, would have simply run inside if he had forgotten something. It wasn’t until she was already reaching for the door handle that she recognized the electricity sparking in the air. She opened the door to a now familiar pair of puppy dog eyes waiting on the other side.

“I thought I told you to leave by 6:30 so my dad wouldn’t see you.”

Julie tried to make her voice snappy, but it was so hard when he was standing there, bobbing and weaving in the early morning sunshine, eyes shining, lips curved into the sweetest smile. He took her words in stride. His smile stretched as his head dipped with a charming amount of bashfulness. She realized with a jolt that he had been doing that for days now, ever since she ran into him after her meeting with Ms. Harrison. Just rolling right through every punch she threw at him like it was nothing. Her walls slipped a little lower.

“I thought I could make you breakfast. You know, as a thank you for last night.”

Her brain short circuited. Luke Patterson...wanted to...make her breakfast? She had to turn the words over in her mind a few times before they began to make sense. Julie studied him for a moment, noticing that he seemed much more like his normal confident self this morning. Gone was the unsteady boy that had stood in her mom’s studio doorway last night. Still, one shoulder was hitched a little higher than the other, his fingers flexing against the backpack strap slung over it. His face was open and eager, but she could detect the hint of nervousness that he was trying to cover up. She caught a faint whiff of jasmine as a slight breeze blew past them and immediately zeroed in on the damp wisps of hair curling around his neck. The thought of Luke in her shower, using her soap was almost her undoing. Desperately trying to get a hold on the situation, she leaned against the open doorway, crossing her arms across her chest in what she hoped was a nonchalant movement.

“I thought we were going to pretend last night didn’t happen.”

His smile faltered a little bit, his free hand flying up to scratch at the back of his neck. His bouncing shifted to rocking, and Julie felt the change in his demeanor like a punch to her gut.

“Yeah...okay...I mean if that’s what you want. I’ll uh, see you around, Molina.”

His voice lacked its typical singsong quality, rejection flattening the lilt she had become accustomed to. Pain bloomed in Julie’s chest, familiar and foreign all at the same time. It wasn’t like the pain she was used to, wasn’t connected to her mom or her music. This pain was all about Luke and the fact that she had just hurt him for no reason at all. Shame rolled through her stomach in a nauseous wave. Luke was already adjusting the bag higher on his shoulder, turning away from her, body language all but screaming “leave me alone”. It didn’t stop her from reaching out and laying a hand against his shoulder.

“Luke.”

His name was a plea and an apology rolled into one. She felt the ripple of his muscles as his body reacted to it, dropping her hand only when he turned to face her. Their eyes caught, the air sparking between them.

“What were you going to make?”

His brow furrowed in confusion, his eyes never leaving hers. She knew she had to do better, but God, it was hard to face your feelings after bottling them up for so long.

“For breakfast. I usually just grab a Pop-Tart to eat on my walk to school. Do you actually cook every morning?”

Luke was still staring. Julie bit her lip, the tail end of a nervous giggle that she couldn’t quite suppress all the way slipping out. The sound seemed to jolt him out of whatever trance he was in. In two seconds, he was back to bouncing on the balls of his feet, arms loose at his sides once more.

“Yeah, I do.”

The shy smile on his lips did something to Julie’s insides that she wasn’t willing to investigate just yet.

“Usually eggs, but sometimes waffles or pancakes on the weekends. Bacon if the boys are coming over. It’s the most important meal of the day, ya know.”

His eyes were bright again, practically glowing like they usually did when he started talking about something he was passionate about. Julie had only ever seen him like this when he was going off on another music related rant in class. Who knew breakfast foods could be so inspiring?

“Well, that sounds a lot better than strawberry Pop-Tarts.”

She turned, leaving the door open as she started to walk back towards the kitchen. She could hear Luke hesitate in the doorway, but all it took was one look over her shoulder and he was rushing in after her, quietly closing the door in his wake. They walked to the kitchen in silence, Julie trying to figure out what the hell was happening in her head and heart the entire time.

The instant Luke entered the kitchen it was like she was seeing a completely different side of him. He was quick and sure with all of his movements, taking only a few minutes to find everything he needed without even asking her for guidance. The muscles of his forearm rippled as he whisked the eggs together, the flick of his wrist just as mesmerizing now as when he played guitar. His confidence on stage had always been awe-inspiring, the way he moved and the energy he gave off undeniably cool and sure, never an ounce of doubt that he was anything other than amazing. It was a way for him to prove he was the best of the best, show that he had fully earned the title of “Rockstar”.

This moment in her sunny kitchen showed a quieter confidence. Nothing flashy or showy, just Luke doing something he clearly enjoyed for no other reason than the fact that he liked it. The rock god attitude had always been surface-level hot, sure, but this kind of domestic comfortability was an entirely new level of attractive. Julie felt her mouth go dry, the tips of her ears growing warm the longer she watched him. He hummed under his breath, the sound reverberating in her soul and sending little shivers up and down her spine. It wasn’t until he was sliding a plate of steaming scrambled eggs and toast in front of her that she finally recognized the melody. Her breath caught and he met her eyes with a gentle expression.

“I told you already, it’s an incredible song.”

He grabbed his own plate and lowered himself into the chair next to hers at the bar. He immediately began shoveling eggs in his mouth. Julie took a few bites of her own food, pleasantly surprised at how good it was. Then an ugly thought took over her brain. She dropped her fork, turning to stare at Luke with a dark intensity she couldn’t control.

“Did you...did you play my mom’s song?”

She couldn’t keep the betrayal out of her voice. It echoed in the room, low and hollow, like the sound of tomb closing. Luke’s own fork fell with a clatter.

“Julie, no.”

His voice was just as desperate, filled with pain and apology.

“I swear to you, no. I wouldn’t do that. I knew what it was as soon as I found it. I couldn’t hurt you like that. I never even showed it to Reggie or Alex.”

She believed him. The look on his face, the tone of his voice, proved to her that he wasn’t lying. Then, his cheeks turned a very light pink.

“I just...sometimes...I would read it. Not around the guys.”

He was quick to add that part in there, like he was assuring her he could protect the things that were important to her. Like he was promising to protect her. She could tell he was a little uncomfortable with the revelation, but he pushed through anyway.

“Just like...at night before bed...or when I was stuck on a song and needed some inspiration.”

His eyes rose to meet hers, some tender emotion she couldn’t identify lurking in their oceanic depths.

“I meant it when I said you’re an incredible songwriter. Sometimes...”

His cheeks darkened, ears flaming red to match.

“Sometimes...it was almost like I could hear you playing it.”

The last part was said so quietly she almost missed it. She felt her face go slack. Who was this guy and what had he done with the normal, cocky Lucas Patterson? The gentleness of his words, the way his eyes were drilling into hers like he could see all the way down to the depths of her soul, had her blinking against the sudden emotion clogging her throat.

“Last night was the first time I ever played it.”

The confession sprung from her lips without second thought. She had to do something, anything to break whatever tension seemed to be thickening between them with each passing second. Luke tilted his head, another warm smile gracing his lips.

“You were even more amazing than I could have ever dreamed. You’re like a human wrecking ball, Julie. It’s insane how talented you are.”

So much for breaking the tension. Julie sucked in a breath, her heart stuttering in her chest. It was only then that she realized how close their bodies had become, each one leaning farther into the other as their conversation went on. There were only inches between them now, Luke’s lyrical voice curling into her ear with a delicious intimacy she couldn’t help but crave. If she got any closer to him their foreheads would touch, their nose would brush, their lips would...

And just like that she was on the ground, her backside stinging from slamming into the hardwood so abruptly. Luke blinked down at her, eyes still swimming with that damnable affection, but also tinged with confusion. In her desperate attempt to bail, she must have leaned too far back, falling off the barstool before she could even realize what would happen. She shook her head to clear the spell Luke had been spinning before looking past him to the clock on the oven.

“We should probably leave for school now unless we want to be late.”

She ignored the breathy way her voice came out, pushing herself to a standing position. Without making eye contact, she wove her way around Luke. He was like a block of ice in his chair, still poised to lean into her completely. She scooped up their half-eaten breakfasts, plopping them loudly into the sink before slipping her arms through her backpack straps. Nowhere left to hide, she turned back towards the brunette boy.

He stared at her for a long moment, the hot frustration in his gaze burning through her and making her want to squirm. For a second, she thought he was going to push it, but then his eyes closed for what felt like an eternity. When they opened again, he seemed resigned. She could detect just a hint of his previous fiery intensity, the rest of it shrouded behind an almost forlorn veil of acceptance.

“If that’s what you want.”

There was a deeper meaning to his words that Julie wasn’t prepared for. Her breathing faltered, the silence between them heavy with the things he was leaving unsaid. She almost gave in. Almost asked him just what, exactly, he wanted right now. But she didn’t need to ask him because she could read it plain on his face. It terrified her. And Julie had become an expert at avoiding things that scared her in this past year. So, instead, she gave him a tight nod and zipped out the front door to wait for him outside.

In the clear sunshine of another beautiful LA day, she was finally able to breathe again. Out here, away from the thick tension of the kitchen, it was easier to tell herself Luke was just being nice. Easier to pretend their little moment inside was just some friendly banter. Easier to ignore the implications of Luke’s serious words and caring tone. She gulped in deep breaths, willing her head and heart to cool down. She heard the click of the door latching shut behind her, turned to see Luke standing there, a small pout on his lips, face entirely unrepentant. Good lord she was in trouble.Then a realization hit. She clung to it, desperately hoping it would get them back on a more neutral page, pull them out of whatever had been simmering between them all morning.

“Where’s your car? I know you didn’t drive over here last night.”

Luke’s face changed immediately, chagrin taking over every feature. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he shoved his hands in the front of his jeans.

“I uh...I only live a few houses away from you...”

Now it was Julie’s turn to gape like a fish. Luke Patterson was her neighbor? Since when?

“My parents...we moved to the neighborhood a couple years ago. I...uhm well...”

His hand rose again to scratch at his neck, and she had never wanted to grab at him more than in this moment. That movement was slowly beginning to drive her crazy. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and blurted it out in one garbled sentence.

“Iusedtohidearoundthecornerandlistentoyouandyourmomplayinthestudiopleasedon’thateme.”

Julie was so stunned she nearly tumbled off the top step as she staggered backwards. Only Luke’s quick reflexes saved her from falling flat on her back for the second time that morning. His eyes darted around her face, clearly trying to figure out if she was about to lose it on him or not. Julie struggled to process the info dump she had gotten from Luke in the last couple of days. All of her preconceived notions were slowly being proven wrong and she wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with that. Life was easier when Luke was just another selfish, swaggering upperclassman. How long had she been in his orbit? Years it sounded like. The realization was staggering.

“You...you listened to us play? Why?”

Luke still had his hands wrapped around her wrists. Julie couldn’t find it in her to break the connection. Her voice came out more broken than she intended, memories of sunlit days singing with her mom invading her mind. Luke remembered those days too?

“Haven’t you been listening?”

His voice was strained, his eyes boring into hers like he was trying to telepathically force her to understand. His fingers flexed against her skin, the movement causing a flurry of butterflies to erupt in her stomach.

“You’re a star, Julie Molina. I couldn’t help getting sucked into your orbit.”

Julie felt her eyelids flutter, her chest squeezing like it was going to burst from the rapid inhale/exhale she couldn’t seem to calm. He said her name like a prayer, his lips turning it into something holy and sacred. She was drowning in Luke’s gaze, a riot of emotions swirling around in her brain. Somehow, because he was Luke and apparently he knew her better than she ever expected him to, he could tell that his declaration had gone a little too far. Easing back, he released his hold and rocked away from her just a bit to give her the space she so desperately needed. His eyes were still impossibly soft, bordering on adoration as he watched her come to terms with his bold announcement. Finally, once Julie was pretty sure she had come back down to Earth, he jogged down the front steps.

“We can still drive if you want to, but I think it’s a pretty nice morning for a walk if you’re up for it.”

“Okay.”

It felt like the smallest possible acceptance she could offer him, but the way Luke lit up in response made her want to melt. Head still swimming, she made her way down the steps on shaky baby deer legs. Luke didn’t push, just fell in step with her as easy as pie. Every once in a while, his fingers would brush against her hand, and it took every scrap of will power to keep herself from just reaching out and linking their hands together.

They passed a house bursting with flowers out front. Julie’s eyes caught on an explosion of bright red in the corner of the yard. Dahlias. Her mother’s favorite. It felt like a sign, and another part of Julie’s soul slipped quietly back into place. The next time Luke’s hand knocked against hers she shyly allowed their fingers to tangle. She didn’t need to look to see the smile break out on his face. She could feel the warmth of it filling the air around her like her own personal sun. He squeezed just once. Just enough to acknowledge the move for what it was. She didn’t let go until the school appeared in the distance.

#y'all know the EXACT pout face I'm referencing in this one #also i love working show dialogue into fic dialogue #also also soft boy Luke is going to be THE DEATH OF ME #FUCKING KILL ME WITH YOUR SOFTNESS LUCAS I AM READY #Mads writes #Mads speaks #bless these babies for giving me less angst and more fluff this time #julie and the phantoms #jatp #juke #julie x luke #luke x julie #palina #julie molina #luke patterson #juke fanfic #jatp fanfic #find the strength find the melody

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hikari-writes · 4 years

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❅A Love Letter I Have to My Lovely and Beloved Friends❅

(I just know that 30 july was a national friendship day and today is like 31 july already at where I am but,,, just pretend that this is also for National Friendship Day 🤡🔫)

As you all know, it's been confirmed that I'll be going on a hiatus two days from now that I really don't know how long it will go on. So, with that in mind, I wished to leave this message to all the wonderful friends I've made while I was active here on Tumblr during quarantine.

I've started this writing blog a few months ago, to be precise, on May where life in quarantine was starting to become a norm. In the few months until now, I did my best to start writing and drawing more using all the free times that I have.

I wouldn't have expected this blog to grow so much in such a short time. To me, it was really mind blowing, seeing that there's a lot of other great content creators here on Tumblr. Yet, the 300+ people who stumbled upon my blog still decided to follow me.

I was really happy to have made many contents that I'm actually proud of posting. And I still can't believe there are people out there who love them. Seeing every one of your comments and reblogs and likes really, really, squeezed my heart and I couldn't be more thankful for your support.

And during these fun times, I was able to make friends with many amazing, talented, fantastic and all the good words I could find in the dictionary people on here. You all are a real gift to me and I hold you guys close to my heart.

I still can't believe I was able to befriend you guys though, like, y'all are so amazing and I was just here like squeaking my name to you like a shy mice lmao. =///= Anyways, thank you for all the good and fun times. Thank you for being with me and helping me with lots of things. Just, thank you for everything. (I'm writing this at 1am like it's sad hours yall I'm crying :')))

If you are ever feeling down, do not ever forget that, even if it's only me, I'll support you to the end of the world because you're just so amazing and fantastic. I love you and never let any hate that's thrown at you let you down because they aren't worth your time.

The people I'll be mentioning below are my dear friends or just people that I have been interacting with during the times I was online, little or not, I still consider you guys to be my friends (very self-proclaimed here sorry)and I'm still honoured by that fact.

@your-local-bnha-writer -Bean, you and your posts are always so wholesome and cute and I love them. Keep being amazing, and we may not interact much, but I still appreciate every little convos we had. Also, wish you luck on tpn, that shit hurted :')

@identifybby -Liaaaa, omg im so v v grateful we became friends. You've helped me with a tons of things and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done to me. You're just so amazing and thank you for always putting up with me, i love you sm.

@minteasketches -Mintea! You're such an amazing artist and I rlly enjoyed our conversations! You might not see this since you're off socmed but just wanna let u know that thank u for being my friends.

@yandere-of-your-dreams -Heyyy sis,, you're always such a sweet bean to me and showering me w love and i appreciate them, stay amazing and I'm sure you'll become an amazing writer.

@shotobabe -Ren, wifey, ilysm thank u for always being with me. You're such an awesome person and keep on being yourself. You're perfect and talented, don't let others tell you otherwise. AND while I'm gone, don't forget to drink lots of water okay? I won't be able to remind you while I'm on a hiatus, but please always remember to drink water. That'd be the first thing I'll ask you once I'm able to be online. And please try to eat more okay bb? I love u.

@takumipineapplexd -Taku! Amazing writer and amazing editor, yes I'm talking about you. You're amazing and keep on making cursed content and being crackhead, i love them.

@bnhabadass -We might not talk much, but I just want to let you know that you're so amazing and I look up to u v much. Literally had a heart attack when u commented on angel wings lmao.

@tomomoni -Mon, love, soft bean, I LOVE U. You've always been so wholesome and cute to every one of your followers and seeing ur interactions literally heals my heart. Your art is amazing so continue being amazing ilysm thank u for being an amazing advisor and listener, I'm v grateful for that. You have no idea how blessed I am to have you as a friend. Meeting you through turn on your airdrop's fanart was F A T E.

@kamabukokompachiro -First time u asked my permission to read my fanfic, I legit teared up. Thank u sm for asking, I couldn't be happier to know that my fic is worthy to be read over for a yt channel. Keep on being amazing and ily.

@kaminii -Kamiiiii, sweet child, you're always so matured and calm and I really adore and respect that part of you (unlike me im v childish and rash) You're an amazing writer and editor and ur aesthetic? 100/10. Love it. You're so talented despite being so young and I'm just, WOW. Ily and thank u for being friends w me. And please fix your sleeping schedule bb. It's rlly not good for your health, like please? Ily.

@katsucutie -I love you and your writing so v much, and I rlly enjoyed talking to you, discussing about Burn Book was rlly fun. I might not be able to know the ending since im gonna go on a hiatus but I'll be sure to catch up to it once im back. Keep being amazing and awesome.

@isolshi -CHERIE, I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE AMAZING. Don't be so insecure about your writing. They're amazing. And you're also one of the sweetest and cute person I've met here. I always love teasing you cause your reaction is always so funny and cute. Keep being awesome. And please, please, please get enough sleep and drink LOTS of water. I legit would cry if you don't drink more water cher.

@mirakeul -BIANCAAAAA LOVE YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND SWEET LiKE--- please, I love talking to you and thank you so much for always reminding me to eat. Your calligraphy and handwriting are awesome, shshh i don't take criticism. Never stop writing, I love them. And please never forget I love you and you're my best friend okay?

@roxybefab -You've always been the first to ask me to be on my taglist and I'm so v happy because of that. Thank you for everything, and keep on being awesome. You can do this, ily.

@princessofdawn718 -Talking to you about Hamefura has been so fun! I haven't talked w many ppl about isekai so im rlly glad I could talk about them w you. Katarina x nicol ftw! Thanks for talking to me, it was such a pleasure rlly.

@softkodzuken -Maam your writing is A M A Z I N G. I love anon sm and you're rlly so sweet for always replying to every single comment on them. Don't be so insecure about them, they're amazing and i will always stand by that point. Wishing you the best of luck for Undercover!

@lolitsleia -Your art is *chef's kiss* i love them so much, I still can't believe you hadn't had more recognition like why?? Ur oc alex is the cutest thing ever and i love her. Thank you again for drawing Yuki. She looked really beautiful and cute in your drawing.

@samanthaa-leanne -We may not talk much, but when you first followed me back, my heart goes B O O M. You're so amazing and keep being like that. And uh,, good luck with Violet Evergarden if you ever plan to watch it. Prepare a couple of tissue boxes....or dozens.

@miyumtwins -Fellow android users! I first saw you through Bean's post about a tag game and i was like *gasp* another androiders..! I swear that one time i was interacting w you, I didn't actually meant to go off anon,, yes im dumb lmao. Anyways, you're rlly amazing and I'm rlly honoured to be followed by you.

@kawasuno -Your smau? 100/10. Your sense of humour 100/10. They're just so perfect *chef's kiss* I love every one of your updates and they always managed to put a smile on my face, i was like, how did you do that? My sense of humour is nonexistant, teach me your ways sensei. But anyways, you're rlly amazing and awesome. Keep up w that.

@kukusbabe -Tsu, I've never said this, but it's you. It's always been you all along. What i mean is, I've followed you first (i knew u through zara's flopping server yeah!) And when i looked at my dash and saw all your interactions w your moots, despite me haven't legally started haikyuu yet, i decided to follow all of them, soooo if it's not for you, we may not have met each other. Everyone in the kita family, Tsu is the MVP here muah. Also your aesthethic and writing and everything is so kajsjhendnd amazing i LOvE---

@iwaixiumi -King Nami, you're so awesome and amazing,, and I'm really glad to be able to interact w you. All those songs you recommend? Yeah, I'm going to listen and love all of them, thank u so much for the recs. Keep being amazing and to everyone reading this, PLEASE INTERACT WITH KING NAMI MORE SHE DOESN'T BITE---

@shoutodoki -Hello, you're so amazing and talented and im just,,, kekkdjfjdj when you followed me--- and when u figured out i was the anon talking about oboro i was OAKSJEJDDJ please, i was so honoured u know, like ???? Anyways, keep on writing what you love and your art maam? THEY'RE AMAZING LIKE BOTH YOUR ART AND WRITING IS SO KAJSJDJDN pliS im so v honoured to be able to talk to you.

@lisarillia -Please excuse me while I go shout in the corner of how much i LOVE your arts. They're amazing and being able to talk to you was a real pleasure. Keep on doing what you love. They'll be amazing no matter what i swear.

@cutiedrawsbnha -Cutie, honey, you're amazing and your art is so cute! Don't let what haters said get to you. You're going to grow into an amazing artist. If you give in and listen to what they said, you're going to end up like what they said so ignore them honey! I believe in you so keep shipping izuocha, todomomo, and kamijirou and making arts. Lotsa love!

@lilikags -Heeyyyy you sweet cute innocent bean! Don't ever stop writing what you love, you'll grow into a big blog soon enough, before you know it. Just keep making what you love, and as time pass by, I'm sure there will be many people who will find appreciate everything you do. I'm always supporting you.

@baeshijima -SOPHHHHH YOU SWEET CUTE CINNAMON ROLL WAKATOSHI'S WIFE EYE--- You have NO idea how much i love you,, you're so sweet and I honestly don't know what did i do to deserve you. Srsly you're a blessing to me. Thank you for the sweet daily reminder in my inbox, i love each and every one of them. Keep being so cute and wholesome, love you.

@shinsuque -ANAAAAA Thanks again for the Bakugou's memes! I may not be able to do it before i go on a hiatus though *sobbing* Keep being so awesome! I love seeing all your interactions and you're so amazing i honestly don't know why you followed me----

@semiluvr -LYDIA *SOBBING* THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR INVITING ME TO THE KITA FAMILY. Even though we've known each other in less than a week, it already felt like I had known you guys for so long like whotttt. Keep being an amazing and sweet person ily muah

@dumbass-lev -MOMMY, MUI, ILY THANK U FOR ALWAYS BEING SO SWEET YOU'RE AMAZING,,, u have no idea how happy (and also flustered) I am when i saw you asking you want to adopt me like,,, whot I've never been asked to be adopted online b4 so you asking that was a big surprise to me and just,,, remember that i love you and you're an amazing mommy. Hope i wasn't too much too handle as your child lol and thank u, for asking to invite me to the server. It has been a real pleasure to me to be there.

@pudding-head-kenma -DANIE!! We haven't talked much and I've only known you for a short time but I really love your detailed analysis. They're amazing and you're amazing. Thank you for being so sweet and cute. Ily.

@/🦋 nonoi -🦋 NONOIIII!!! IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING MY EMOJI ANON! I love you you're so sweet and bb please please please don't forget me id cry,,,

@astereim -Rein!!! I know we just talked and all but you seem to be a reaally cool and amazing person,, we might not be able to interact much since I need to go prepare things b4 i go on my hiatus though, but just wanna let u know that ily!

@tokoyamis-luv -please don't come for my neck i haven't been active on the server Lol but anyways, zara, you're amazing and your simping for Kurapika is always fun to watxh. Also all the lin manuel edits are *chef's kiss* we may not talk much but i was rlly honoured to be able to interact w you, even a little bit.

@engel-hageshii - YOU, MAAM are a literal angel, and your comments on my fics always managed to make me smile so much. I love you, please never stop being such a sweetheart.

@laylahoran -I've always loved and appreciate every comments you make. I'm v happy I was able to create a content that you can love. You and engel has been some of my firsts followers and I'm really blessed to have you two.

@oyasenpai -Diemmy! You're so sweet and cute and seeing your interaction w my moots (kami) was what made me follow you. Don't let what others said bring you down, okay? Just do what you want because there're always many people supporting you for it.

Special message to the kita family server;

Meanwhile while you guys were talking about me there, I was just innocently scrolling through Tumblr, not knowing what kind of fate I'll be receiving 👁👄👁 No wonder I was sneezing so much 🤧🤧🤧

So, I was just scrolling through the pinned messages and I saw tsu said "mui: can we invite hikari? Everyone here: kakskejdjdjdn" and i was just like,,, ??????? I wasn't expecting u guys to have that kind of reaction i--- yall have no idea how much i was grinning while I scroll through those messages. Thank you so much for inviting and accepting me, it's really fun to be with you guys and your crackhead energy 🥰🥰 Thank you to mui for suggesting you had no idea I was really really happy. 😭 Y'all are so amazing and sweet and cute and beautiful kakjdjdd

To all of my dear friends that I've mentioned above, I LOVE YOU LOTS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO MET YOU GUYS. Quarantine time has been stressful for a lot of people, and Tumblr can sometimes (a lot of times) be kinda whack but I was really happy to met you guys during my time here. Our time together may have been short, but i feel like we've known each other for more than a year, no caps. I love you all very very much. Thank you for talking to me and befriending me. Remember to get enough sleep, drink lots of water, stay safe and healthy, eat enough meals and, take care of yourself. I love you guys.

And lastly, to everyone reading this, whether i know you or not, or interacted with you or not, or follow you or not, or you follow me or not, just REMEMBER that you are worth it and I love you. Keep on being awesome, and always remember to smile, laugh and live. Don't forget to always DRINK LOTS OF WATER, GET ENOUGH SLEEP, and EAT ENOUGH MEALS.

Signing off,

Hikari.

#amazing talented people #sweet nice people 💕#a message #my dear friends

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mallowstep · 3 years

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interstitial: hiatus announcement, blog update, mystery projects

from monday, april 19th, to may 1st, i'll be on hiatus.

exactly what that means is i'm not sure. i'll likely update, but no promises.

other blog news/updates below the cut

okay, to start with the fun stuff:

mystery projects

in this lovely month of may, i'll be doing windclan appreciation. the two major projects are...

i'll believe the wind is calling me (not the time i changed a title within twelve hours of posting, a different one.) feat. cinderpaw, deadfoot, and the old forest. i'm very excited about this one. so far it's looking to be pretty long, but i'm hoping i'll be able to finish it during hiatus and then edit the chapters before posting. because otherwise this is going on a very delayed posting schedule.

the only thing as holy as my love must be you feat. crowfeather, squirrelflight, and the three. (it's not a squirrelcrow au sorry i just realized that could be misleading.) anyway, this one is probably not going to post super often because of other demands, but i am excited for it. you may remember what it's about if you have a freakishly good memory.

other annoucements

i've decided after winds of change, i'm going to be doing a disabled character focus. that lets me finish ashes, i'll believe the wind is calling me, and waiting for me in some unholy sunlight, while also working on/posting dovefeather (med cat dovewing au). this was previously canon divergence stuff, but i almost exclusively write canon divergence anyway.

i'm pretty happy with this/looking forward to it so i don't see it changing.

also, dream of a home i'll never see is on indefinite hiatus. i wrote a post explaining this somewhere, but i'm just going to be upfront, i don't like the first chapter and until i can figure out why and how to fix it, i don't feel comfortable posting chapter two.

it's frustrating because i am excited for chapter two, but i just...there's some stuff i can put my finger on (the reunion scene is all wrong, for one), but there's a deeper, underlying issue i can't pin down. i try hard not to let this happen, but doahins escaped my notice.

ao3 updates

aka the self indulgent section where i list the top 5 fics

ashes remains most read, and it's second overall. which is pretty impressive. i don't think it's going to ever beat my drarry long one-shot, because, uh, that's very popular, but it's closer than i ever thought. so thank you guys.

ashes tops all the charts, but in second place...

better left unsaid still has the most kudos. its companion piece, "ilex aquifolium" (which i can now spell from memory) is also doing insanely well. both of these are two of my favorite pieces, so i'm glad y'all agree.

waiting for me in some unholy sunlight is also doing well. i'm glad, it's got a soft spot in my heart. the chapter updates are slow (at least, compared to ashes), but i'm quite fond of it.

may there be no sadness of farewell is nearly tied with ashes for bookmarks, which is frankly impressive. i'm working on the next chapter for that but lord knows when it'll be out. probably not today, i want to post the next chapter of ashes so everyone can lose their head again.

dream of a home i'll never see is subscribed to and frankly given i'm not sure when i'll be updating it again, i recommend subscribing to it if you like the squirrel that leaps into flight au.

general updates

okay, the twice a day thing worked for me over april break, but i'll be going back down to once daily updates starting in may. when my semester is over, i'll consider upping it, but don't hold your breath.

also, as far as ongoing projects go...

ashes it's physically impossible for me not to work on this, so i'm sure i'll continue to update. but it might get demoted down to weekly updates until june. we'll see.

waiting for me in some unholy sunlight in a good place right now, so probably won't see an update for a while.

may there be no sadness of farewell shrug? i'm not sure. it's got the longest chapters out of anything on-going (although once i start posting ibtwicm, it's going to lose that honor, because that has 3-4k chapters), so it takes the longest to write, and i also take it the most seriously. squils is important to me, i want to do right by her.

five clans alike in dignity will continue to update, albeit, in a somewhat slower fashion. i've got three+ works for this nearly or almost done. but they'll get posted here, to tumblr, first.

the elders' den i'm workign on it. we'll see.

vanishing point i'm not sure when i'll next be adding to this, but there are two more fics for it — a jay piece and a lion piece — so i will be adding to it.

here is the deepest secret shrug? we'll see

alright, that's all! y'all are wonderful, see you in two weeks.

#mine #txt #18th #April #2021 #April 18th 2021 #blog update

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murfeelee · 6 years

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Shadowhunters - RANT ALERT

lifeasasim replied to your photoset “Yasumi no Edo - Pt2c ( Tōkyō Dizunīrando no Hanabi) The special…”

WHY TF ARE THEY CANCELING THE SHOWWWW

Because Freeform’s too dang stupid to know not to bite the hand that feeds it, that’s why!

These articles (X X) are giving me ulcers. I can’t believe this is happening. I just can’t. They’re cancelling my show. We won’t get Season 4.

They’re stopping Season 3B at City of Heavenly Fire, and not adapting the other books. So does this mean no Malec adopting their sons? No Malec proposal? No Malec wedding? Are y’all serious right now?

They had the nerve to push back the airing of Season 3B -- Todd & co. had originally said that it would air this August, but that tweet was deleted hella fast, and now they’re saying 3B won’t air till Spring 2019! JESUS! O_O First that long hiatus waiting for 3A, and now this!? Waiting a whole year for a show that’s gonna be cancelled right after 3B finally airs!? WTF!?

So, what am I supposed to do -- sit here and stew in my depression!?

This is hell.

This is LITERAL HELL, people.

I’m so mad at Freeform & Netflix, I don’t even have the words. It’s corporate shenanigans and power plays, plain and simple. Netflix didn’t get what they wanted, Freeform couldn’t see a good deal staring them right in the frikkin face, so the whole thing blew up with the show being cancelled over sheer pettiness and greed.

We had SO MUCH MORE to look forward to! And now they’re gonna squeeze everything into 3B and call it done!? Cassandra Clare is still writing! We got 2 new big bads in the Shadow World to look forward to, with Malcolm Fade and the Unseelie King! That was gonna be AWESOME! And Cassie’s releasing an entire book about Malec! THE MATERIAL~~~! U_U

Why can’t Freeform just fork over the licensing rights and give the show over to a company that actually wants to work with it?!

Freeform didn’t promote Shadowhunters at all. I can't tell y'all how many ads I’ve passed by every day while riding the train to for their new show Cloak & Dagger -- I kept mistaking the white-haired girl in the photos for Danaerys Targaryen (which I know they’re doing on purpose, effing click bait). I saw a few for Siren, too. But in all these years though I have NOT ONCE seen a single ad for Shadowhunters while walking around in NYC. NOT ONE.

Apparently Netflix & some other networks I think were advertising the show internationally (where the bulk of the fanbase is located), and kudos to them or whatever, but at this point, I don’t even want Netflix to pick up Shadowhunters; they’re the petty arsewipes who pulled the funding in the first place! I’d prefer some other network like Hulu, The CW, or MTV get it, tbh.

People were speculating that maybe HBO or SyFy could take it, but I don’t really think either of those are viable options. I mean...lbr SyFy’s not exactly known for making that many very good original shows.... >_>

Shadowhunters started off real crunchy in Season 1 (everything from the CG to the directing/writing to the acting was very amateur), and idek if SyFy could keep up the upward momentum and higher quality that Season 2 and especially S03A delivered. And on that same note, I doubt HBO would want it, not when they’ve got powerhouses like Game of Thrones over there doing The Most and making that bookoo money.

But at this point, I don’t even care. Networks save the shows they want to save. Even if a zillion fans scream and shout bloody murder, if the showrunners & co don’t get those coins rolling in, the show will be dropped like a hot potato. Gold. Just thrown down the drain. They don’t care about anyone but themselves.

Burke said the network is at peace with the decision ... “They delivered what the fans wanted...I remember being at Comic-Con and seeing the excitement for the show and thinking, ‘This could be our Supernatural,'” referring to the genre staple that the CW just renewed for its 14th season.

Yeah, YOU THOUGHT. Supernatural’s on it’s 666th frikkin season, meanwhile Freeform couldn't find its own arse with both hands in broad daylight to do anything to keep promoting the show and get the funds and support to renew it for Season 4!

This all just blows my mind though. Shadowhunters is THE most popular (and frankly, only RELEVANT) show on Freeform. It’s been carrying the network this whole time! How do they not have the money!? Malec literally singlehandedly won them a dang GLAAD award!

And you know what KILLS ME is that not only are they taking away the show, but they’re depriving me of one of my all-time favorite fictional characters EVER.

My beautiful, freewheeling bisexual Asian High Warlock of Brooklyn. That flawless bish, that sexy beast, that campy queen, that quite magical wonderful beautiful waking dream of a man.

Harry’s portrayal of Magnus is just dripping in charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent; I can’t. And to be BRUTALLY honest, Magnus is the only reason I kept watching the show. Harry Shum Jr was holding it down in Season 1 -- if it wasn't for him acting the roof off in every single scene, I wouldn’t have kept watching at all. Season 1 wasn’t that good, and that’s the T.

I didn’t like most of the other characters. I hated every single Shadowhunter -- including Alec (Izzy was hot though), and if Valentine wasn’t a racist bigot I’d be on his side and be like: just kill all these Shadowhunters, girl, bye~~!

So it just shocks me to my core that Freeform would make a move like this. Malec carried that whole show. No one cares about Clace. Climon was anathema. Sia’s cute and all, but lbr everyone’s sitting on pins & needles just waiting for Sizzy to rise. Only reason I even heard of this show was because a bunch of the fanfic authors & fan-artists I’m subscribed to at AO3 started writing Malec fics, which I was skipping over at first, but then the fandom blogs I follow here on Tumblr kept reblogging The Wedding scene, and I was like WTF IS THIS.

The most iconic episode of Shadowhunters was literally titled MALEC! XD Freeform, you had GOLD! DIAMONDS. Recognition. Representation. Stupid.

This whole cancellation controversy smells like network stunts and shows. They’re doing this on purpose. And during PRIDE MONTH, no less. WOW. How skeevy can y'all get?

I’m thoroughly disgusted.

So, yeah. That’s the state of things right now. I'M VENTING.

I’m just very upset, because Malec is one of my top favorite ships. But regardless of whether the show is killed off for good or not, I’m gonna keep posting my TS3 Malec Gameplays, the same way I do for my Nagron Gameplays (Spartacus ended in like 2013, and I’m still here, so.... :P ).

I’m just apologizing in advance to all my followers both here and at my Personal blog and Wishes blog -- I’m gonna be reblogging a lot of posts, to do my part in keeping #SaveShadowhunters trending as much as I can during this year effing long hiatus. So if those who follow me don’t care about all this...oh well.

#saveshadowhunters #pickupshadowhunters #shadowhunters #malec #LGBTQIA #replies #RANT ALERT #saltier than a cup of cup noodles

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whateverisbeautiful · 7 years

Text

Reveling in Richonne

#99: The TLC (7x16)

Every time Rick and Michonne have a scene, or even just a moment together, it’s electric. Like every single time, since the beginning. 💯

They can make such a huge statement with something as small as a gesture. Which leads me to the final Richonne moment of season 7. 😋🎉

So we have this montage of all the happenings after the battle. We see all these different activities and what people are up to and then we get a visual that shows us why Rick is the realest of ones. 👌🏽

Y’all I seriously love that they included this moment in the montage of Michonne resting up and Rick being right by her side holding her hand. 😊

It’s so good and Rick is a man who has his priorities all the way straight!

I loved the way they pan over from Tara and Rosita and then for a moment you just see Michonne lying in the nearby bed and then they reveal what I’ve been saying since the start of these posts which is that Rick and Michonne are legitimately magnets. Cuz sho nuff, Rick is right there with her. 👌🏽

I remember watching this moment the first time and just being like…

Cuz this was such a nice way to close out the Richonne of the season. It's kind of mind boggling how much camaraderie, chemistry, and just pure love is conveyed in just this one shot. 🙉☺️ Like there’s so much good stuff about this single wordless moment.

Like One; It really does show how R&M are always a priority to each other. Cuz Rick is ASZ leader and it could be easy for him to get occupied with a bunch of different things as all these communities are now looking to him to guide them but I love that none of that is going to stop Rick from being in the most important place for him to be which is by Michonne’s side.

Two; This was also nice just cuz like Rick isn’t necessarily buddies with Tara and Rosita but he’s in this room because he’s going to be there for Michonne regardless. Like here’s the Rick Grimes sitting in this room with these ladies because this is where his woman is so this is where he wants to be as well. 😊 I love that they are always such a unit and package deal. 🙌🏾

Three; It’s precious to know how much Rick wants to take care of Michonne. Like this is such a husband and wife moment and you just knew Rick’s going to be dedicated to making sure her healing process is as smooth as possible lol.

And it’s especially sweet cuz he’s not just sitting by Michonne’s side, he’s holding her hand and just trying to provide some form of TLC cuz Homeboy always wants to be useful and cuz magnets. Here for it. 😋

Four; I adore the little subtle smiles. 😊

Like y’all these two are the cutest and they make each other so happy. I love that you can always see the gratitude Rick has for Michonne radiating off him and especially here as he smiles and nods he just seems so happy that she’s okay and that she’s still with him.

Five; This moment really parallels the moment when Rick was by Carl’s side when his eye was shot out.

And I love that we get to see how committed Rick is to his family and that Michonne really does get the same treatment from Rick cuz he knows she’s his immediate family.

Like she truly does share the place in his heart where his children are and I love that their love goes that deep.

Six; During this whole montage we hear this voice over with Rick and mainly Maggie speaking and I love that the part of the voice over that’s spoken during this Richonne moment is Maggie saying, “That was the decision that changed everything.” in referencing how Glenn saving Rick really started this whole chain of events. 😭

It’s super sweet and it’s fitting that this line is said over this image of Richonne cuz this line is also super significant for Rick and Michonne too.

Cuz everything in R&M’s journeys led them to each other. And when they came into each other’s lives everything changed and slowly but surely got better for them.

I love that in a world with so much loss, Rick and Michonne still gained something so invaluable when they found each other. And I love how visibly and authentically they cherish what they’ve found in each other. 😊

As I thought about this relationship, even outside of them being a couple, I realized just how crucial and important the character of Michonne is for the character of Rick in this story.

Cuz before she came into the picture, Rick’s relationships were mainly with people who were more like younger siblings or elders. Like he didn’t exactly have someone who was explicitly a peer that he himself could lean on and look to.

But ever since Michonne came into his life it’s allowed us to see a different more free and human Rick. A Rick that even seems new to himself because of how liberated he can be with her. So she really did change everything for him. 👌🏽

And he changed everything for her when he carried her into that prison rather than just take the formula, cuz he gave her a family and she gave him his true self. 😊

I seriously love how Rick and Michonne really have met their match and their equal and their future and their soul mate.

And this closing image of them just let you know that Rick and Michonne are going to stay side-by-side, even if not always physically then mentally, no matter what and for as long as they live. (Which should be a long time since they're the ones who live 😋)

Season 7 really did bless us with some Richonne gold. Like the handling and depiction of Richonne remained quality no matter what else was going on cuz they are the GOAT. 🙌🏾

I feel like seeing this last Richonne moment of season 7 really established that we’re only going to see their bond get more unbreakable and their love get even deeper when they returned back onto our screens.

Cuz they had a lot thrown at them in this season and yet they only continued to get closer and rise above together. That’s the real deal love, y’all.

And I love that we end their first full season of canon with them side-by-side and more together and in love than ever. 😊

One thing that really impressed me is how after every golden Richonne moment I’d always think there’s no way it’ll get better than this, but it did. They top themselves all the time. 💯👌🏽

Like I saw the Kiss of Life and was like this has to be the best it can get and then we’d get the cell scene and then we’d get the cat callback and then we’d get a whole heavenly episode made of Richonne gold and so much in between. Gift. That. Keeps. On. Giving. 🙌🏾

Rick and Michonne’s scenes, from the fence arrival in season 3 all the way to Rick being by her bedside in this room in season 7, are just so good and meaningful and authentic and special...which makes sense cuz Richonne is all those things too. 😊

So all I know is we’re blessed and I have a feeling we have a lot more Richonne gold coming our way. 😌

Naturally, the obvious way to close out my final post of season seven is to reference a rap verse (??🙈😂), but it just really applies lol, so I just have to say;

Richonne’s the best yet and yet their best is yet to come. 🙌🏾💯😋

Oh yeah and one more thing y'all...

We Made It!! 🎉🎉🎉

Y’all thank you so much for reading all these posts and for spending the last two months of the hiatus with me!

I started this on August 22nd and was determined to be consistent with my posts all the way until October 22nd to get us to the season 8 premiere. And here we are!

And I’m seriously so grateful for the support and especially for every comment and message. Like to hear people take time out to express that they enjoyed my posts or that my words actually made them smile or laugh 😂 or see Richonne in a new light made me so happy. And in particular to hear that my thoughts on certain moments were actually something that was looked forward to was really encouraging to me. It all sincerely made my day. 😊🙌🏾 So just know...

I started writing out all my thoughts on Richonne not even knowing if I’d share it. I just had to finally put my analysis and novels-worth of thoughts on paper. And then I thought maybe just maybe someone else would enjoy reading them too since I know how much I enjoy other’s Richonne analysis.

I meant it in my first post when I said if my break downs just make one person smile it would be worthwhile, so to receive so much kindness and support was such a pleasant surprise and really helped me stay consistent with my goal.

I was nervous at first cuz I was like what if I sound repetitive or make a mistake since people know so much about them already (and I def did make some mistakes (cannon/canon😂 😂 )) and plus I’m the one who was late to the Richonne party but y’all were still so kind so I ended up having a lot of fun doing this and y’all are a big reason why.

As I wrote these posts I just realized more and more what a masterpiece Richonne is. Like they really are something special. 😊💯 Even their deleted scenes are special, y’all...

And it’s so nice that for as many moments as Richonne has, they’re still not done. 🙌🏾Like I managed to find 99 moments to talk about in regards to Richonne (and I didn’t even go into “Clear” and some of their other great standout pre-canon Richonne moments that I missed in the moment due to being in the sunken place (analysis coming soon😉)) And Richonne isn’t even what the show is all about but they’re that good and make the most of each scene to the point where there can be so much to talk about.

And it’s crazy that in a few hours, we will have some new Richonne gold. 🙉

And y’all I have no idea what to expect for the premiere, like I really don’t know anything going into this season but I have hope that TWD will remind everyone why this is the show we all fell in love with.

Cuz yes there have been some major missteps made in the series, but at the end of the day it’s undeniable that there was something really special about this show and specifically these characters. So while I’m going into this season with realistic and sober expectations I also believe TWD still has some quality stories left to tell and so here’s to hoping it delivers as best it can.

And the cool thing is that no matter what else happens I know that the Richonne moments we’re going to get are going to deliver like always. 👏 Whether it’s just a few moments or a lot, they’re going to be great. 🏽And I’ll be ready to take note of all of it like…

I’m so touched that some have expressed wanting to know to my season 8 Richonne thoughts and y’all already know I’m gon’ have some thoughts lol. 😂 So my 100th reveling moment will be the first Richonne moment we get in the 100th episode. 👌🏽

So y’all thank you for letting me recap scenes you already know so well. You know how people say “I could go on forever about this”? Thank you for listening to me actually go on forever about Richonne and talk about them in-depth.

Also thanks for letting me just be my extra and silly self and for letting me say “magnets” a million times in these posts (lol I mean but R&M really are magnets tho 😋)

We all have a story about when this show became more than a show and when Richonne stole our heart so thank you for letting me share mine.

These posts were started cuz I just wanted to share my journey with falling in love with Richonne’s journey. So thanks for going on this little journey with me.

And thanks for reveling with a sister. 💕😊💕

Season 8 Richonne gold here we come! This should be fun. 😋👌🏽

#twd #the walking dead #twdfamily #richonne #richonne fandom #richonne family #michonne #michonne grimes #rick grimes #revelinginrichonne

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