#kell reads things

[itmightrain]

"The actual ceremony of rural marriage, or more precisely the lack of ceremony, was a longstanding problem for the Church. Many village couples saw no need for more than a kiss and a promise, which left room for debate about the nature of the pledged promise. [...] Pope Alexander III (1159-1181) had laid down rules. "A valid marriage should be accomplished either by words of the present (I take thee John) or by words of the future" a more indefinite promise if it was followed by consummation. Consent of the two parties alone was indispensable. The fourth Lateran council (1215) stipulated that the wedding must be public and the bride must receive a dowry, but make no provision for witnesses, and did not even insist on church participation."

- Life in a Medieval Village by Frances Gies and Joseph Gies

[ybcpatrick]

[verdantmeadows]

Considering that Prince Gumball canonically makes his own clothes (or potentially canonically, since all Fionna & Cake media must be taken with some grains of salt), I like to headcanon that Gary also sews and makes clothes as a hobby. He wears a lot of cute things in a lot of colors that are hard to find in men's clothing, and plus, he's tall.

This leads into my next headcanon, which is that I think he sews bonnets of lots of different styles for Marshall Lee to wear while they sleep. At first, he tries to pick out designs and styles that are more alt or gothic (in his words), but he can't resist, so slowly Marshall Lee's bonnets go from darker colors and cooler patterns to pastel and pink bonnets with patterns like cats and bunnies and sweets. Marshall Lee adores them more than anything and wears them with absolute pride. Although the excessive number of bonnets he ends up with is far more than he could ever use, it's perfect for him, because he loses and misplaces things all the time.

[barbieaiden]

2. [Doorbell rings]

3. Kell: Sam. Fuck. Uh. I totally forgot you were coming. Sorry about the mess, I was going to clean.

Sam: Were you sleeping?

Kell: Yeah, but I should've probably woken up, like, 9 hours ago so it's a good thing you came.

4. Sam: I can help you clean.

Kell: Yeah, no, that's not happening, I would die from embarrassment. Sorry if it's smokey in here, I don't want to give you an asthma attack.

Sam: No, it's fine.

5. Sam: Are you okay?

Kell: Not at all.

Sam: Did something happen?

Kell: Well, I don't know if you know this, but one of my closest friends got himself into a coma?

Sam: Very funny.

Kell: Then it's been downhill from there. How is he? Aiden?

Sam: He's, um...

6. Sam: I don't know. He's acting like the whole thing was just nothing.

Kell: To be fair, he was unconscious the whole time so it was probably nothing to him. Plus, this isn't his first drug-related medical emergency, is it? You, however, were a wreck. Like a total mess.

Sam: I'm sorry, next time my fiancé is in a coma I'll think of being more presentable.

Kell: Good.

7. Kell: No seriously, pretty understandable with the situation and all. I'm glad things turned out the way they did, I'd have no one to get high with if Aiden died.

Sam: Kellan.

Kell: I'm kidding. Also, it wasn't weed that got him into a coma, Sam.

8. Kell: Seriously, though, actually seriously this time, I get it. I mean, I was a wreck too. Honestly, I don't know what I would've done if Aiden died.

9. Kell: Especially not like that. The waiting was the worst, not knowing if he'd be okay or not. I mean, I don't know about you but I had some hope he'd live, but still.

Sam: [Shakes head]

Kell: You didn't think he'd live? Like, at all?

10. Sam: ...no.

11. Kell: In other news, my date last weekend was so bad. Unimaginably bad. Easily top 3 list bad.

Sam: You have a list of your worst dates?

Kell: Well, Sam, some of us aren't super fucking lucky and randomly meet the love of our lives one day. I have to gamify it to maintain my sanity. She was really nice, though, it was my fault. I just wanted to go home the entire time.

12. Sam: Let me know if I can help.

Kell: With dating? You might be in a long-term relationship but you're not qualified.

Sam: No? You know what I meant.

Kell: Dude, you're literally the last person I'd unload my emotional baggage on right now. I'm more likely to do it to Aiden. Aiden.

Sam: Kell, you are not making me feel better.

Kell: I'm not trying to. I'm giving you a reality check.

13. Sam: I don't need a reality check, I'm well aware I've been a mess.

Kell: You literally went straight from a mental breakdown to taking care of Aiden.

Sam: Yes? He was in a coma? He's my fiancé? We live together?

Kell: Okay, now you're just making me feel lonely. You're literally third wheeling me and Aiden's not even here.

Sam: You brought it up!

Kell: Oh. Right.

14. Kell: Have you slept in the past week, by the way? Because it doesn't look like it.

Sam: I have. This is just what I look like.

Kell: It's not.

Sam: Yes, it is. You're just insulting me now.

15. Kell: My point is, you let me know if I can help you.

Sam: You could have phrased it in a nicer way.

16. Sam: Can we talk about something else? I'm getting tired of coma related conversations.

Kell: Oh, for sure. I can tell you about my worst dates list and you can laugh at me. I have it written down and everything.

Sam: What?

Kell: Yeah, with details. Do you want to see?

Sam: ...sure.

[antaripirate]

i award this trophy to Casero Delilah Bard

[lovrsleft]

Victoria Schwab really tried to make us hate Holland and I think we all can collectively agree that she failed, miserably.

[messrsbyler]

shortly back to say this is very stonathan

[shouldprobablybereading]

When people said that cassandra clares new book sounded a bit too much like adsom I thought they meant plot wise, but I just read the synopsis and the dudes name is literally kel

[nyxire]

finished a book 😊

[abidethetempest]

Public Eliksni Conlang Dictionary

EDIT: hi! this post seems to have blown up a little bit again. I would like to clear up something since I've seen some ppl in the tags say things along the lines of thanking "everyone who worked on this". it's just me working on this actually! this is my conlang (constructed language) project that I started bc I like the Eliksni a very normal amount and wanted them to have a full language. PSA over, thanks for reading!

This beast of a spreadsheet is finally done and all cleaned up and organized!! Here is the public copy of my current Eliksni lexicon. These words are the most current versions and any seen in older posts are no longer accurate. Please consult this document when you need a word!

Parts of speech are broken up into separate sheets that can be navigated using the bar on the bottom of the page. Verbs marked with an asterisk are exceptions to the -is dropping rule.

As always, this dictionary is free to use with credit!

[the-forest-library]

January 2024 Reads

The Gentlemen's Gambit - Evie Dunmore

A Lady Guide's to Mischief and Mayhem - Manda Collins

The Ladies Rewrite the Rules - Suzanne Allain

One Night in Hartswood - Emma Denny

The Breakup Tour - Emily Wibberley

Places We've Never Been - Kasie West

Most Ardently - Gabe Cole Novoa

Okay, Cupid - Mason Deaver

Love, Me - Jessica Saunders

Dungeons and Drama - Kristy Boyce

Seven Percent of Ro Devereux - Ellen O'Clover

Eight Dates and Nights - Betsy Aldredge

Rules for Being a Girl - Candace Bushnell, Katie Cotungo

The Christmas Wish - Lindsey Kelk

After the Forest - Kell Woods

All the Hidden Paths - For Meadows

Shady Hollow - Juneau Black

Strong Poison - Dorothy L. Sayers

The Silver Chair - C.S. Lewis

The Chalice of the Gods - Rick Riordan

The Marvelous Magic of Miss Mabel - Natasha Lowe

Elf Dog and Owl Head - M.T. Anderson

Winter - Kelsey E. Gross

The Bookstore Cat - Cylin Busby

The Glass Castle - Jeannette Walls

Brain on Fire - Susannah Cahalan

A Book of Days - Patti Smith

Karma - Boy George

I Hate Everyone, Except You - Clinton Kelly

The Life Brief - Bonnie Wan

The Stress Prescription - Elissa Epel

Infectious Generosity - Chris J. Anderson

Break the Cycle - Mariel Buque

Eve - Cat Bohannon

House Love - Patric Richardson

Pests - Bethany Brookshire

Freaks, Gleeks, and Dawson's Creek - Thea Glassman

But Have You Read the Book? - Kristen Lopez

The Good, the Bad, and the Barbie - Tanya Lee Stone

Normal is Just a Setting on the Dryer - Adair Lara

Men to Avoid in Art and Life - Nicole Tersigni

Friends to Keep in Art and Life - Nicole Tersigni

Parenting Advice to Ignore in Art and Life - Nicole Tersigni

Bold = Highly Recommend Italics = Worth It Crossed out = Nope

Thoughts: 

Messy memoirs, healing from generational trauma, and recovery from burnout - these are a few of my favorite things.

Goodreads Goal: 43/200

2017 Reads | 2018 Reads | 2019 Reads | 2020 Reads | 2021 Reads | 

2022 Reads | 2023 Reads | 2024 Reads

[itmightrain]

Thinking about Summer Sons and grief and ghosts that arent the person you long for but rather a shadow of them, a copy of a copy that gets distorted, just memories and feelings and impulses pulled into a specter that follows you restlessly. About getting what you wanted and realizing that theres a difference between having been loved and being loved, and realizing you want to live

[ybcpatrick]

happy tiana loves kell sunday!!!!! first sunday of 2024 which means i am obligated to remind you i will be by your side this entire year no matter what and that you can always come to me if you need a shoulder to lean on <3 laced some awful (great) kebin images in because i think that is also a great way to start the year off strong. that and the fic you’ve been gifted because i carried the brainrot into a new year with me 😁 i hope this year treats you with the kindness you deserve, and i especially hope this next week goes well for you. you deserve all the sweetness in the world. did you know that i love you? 🩷💜🩵💚💛🧡

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I'M SO EXCITED FOR OUR UPCOMING YEAR OF INSANITY XOXO 🧡💛💚🩵💜🩷 WE ARE HOLDING HANDS AND SKIPPING INTO THIS NEW YEAR MWAH

[filmnoirsbian]

Things read in April

Essays & Articles:

Oxford comma helps drivers win dispute about overtime pay

Rare insect found at Arkansas Walmart sets historic record, prompts mystery

Gloria Naylor Showed Us the Quiet Monster of Classism in the Black Community

Who Is Still Inside the Metaverse? Searching for friends in Mark Zuckerberg’s deserted fantasyland.

Striking Workers Are Bringing Back 1970s 'Mindfuck' Tactics

My Friend, Killer Bob

An Edible History of the Club Sandwich

Rodents of Unusual Size From ‘The Princess Bride’ Are Actually Real

Publishing company will offer free Black history e-books, especially in Florida

'Mischievous Responders' Confound Research On Teens

$388 in Sushi. Just a $20 Tip: The Brutal Math of Uber Eats and DoorDash

Poetry:

Joy Passed Down by Farah Lawal Harris

Perfect For Any Occasion by Alberto Ríos

Index by Kell Connor

The Lobelias of Fear by Bernadette Mayer

Lockdown Garden by Arvind Krishna Mehrotra

Grace by Sarah Gambito

My Grandma Told Stories or Cautionary Tales by Marlanda Dekine

Miglena's Tales by Catching Lines

A Boy Can Wear A Dress by John Bosworth

A Primer of Daily Round by Howard Nemerov

A Poem for S. by Jessica Greenbaum

In the Season of Pink Ladies by Sayuri Ayers

Notes on the Peanut by June Jordan

The Windhover by Gerard Manley Hopkins

One Boy Told Me by Naomi Shihab Nye

Sonnet by Jill Alexander Essbaum

Sonnet by Robert Hass

Heat by Denis Johnson

Sonnet by Alice Notley

The List of Famous Hats by James Tate

History Lesson by Iduna Paalman

Bow before the mountain ash by Olli Heikkonen

The Melon by Charles Simic

Where the Ponies Come to Drink by Henry Herbert Knibbs

When They've Finished Shipping Cattle in the Fall by Bruce Kiskaddon

Fairy Tale with Laryngitis and Resignation Letter by Jehanne Dubrow

Authentic Fake by Mia You

Books & Short Stories:

The Fly by George Langelann

Iphigenia Crash Land Falls On The Neon Shell That Was Once Her Heart by Caridad Svich

The Labyrinth by Catherynne M. Valente

Coraline by Neil Gaiman

A Feast for Flies by Leigh Harlen

Little Sister by Kara Dalkey

[fandomtrumpshate]

Wish lists

A couple weeks ago when we were gearing up to open signups for the 2024 auction we asked what you hoped to find among this year's offerings. This is what you had to say:

Fandoms dpxdc fic Batfam Shazam Monkey Prince Spirit World The Untamed/MDZS art MarvelxThe Long Dark MarvelxMCYT (Philza and technoblade) Mantracker The Martian Shades of Magic Artful Dodger Transformers (art or fic) A Court of Fey & Flowers (Rue/Hob) More James Bond The Hour Benoit Blanc Untamed (art and vids) Becky Chamber's universes PJO fics starring Annabeth Tortall fics starring Alanna or Kell More Queen's Thief Marvel and DC Comic Crossover Rarepairs

Work types art for a dark/noncon wrestling fic rare pairs a vidder offering supercuts longfic with fandom flexibility research time periods/locations assistance with graphics spreadsheet wizardry sensitivity reading for a specific culture, or world cultures in general write trans MCs and niche identities book cover podfics fanbinding podfics and fanart

So, if any of these are fandom spaces you work in, or types of work that you do and you've been wondering if anyone would be interested?

Yes. The answer is yes. And there is time left for you to make someone's wish come true by signing up to offer one or more of these things for FTH 2024!

Signups are OPEN!

[thefirstknife]

Ishtar updated so some stuff is on there finally. Didn't want to spam with too many huge posts with just walls of text.

Absolutely losing it about Chivalric Fire seasonal sword. We finally have a canon reason for ornaments from each vendor. It's becuse they argue what the weapon should look like.

"It should be elegant," says Zavala, striking his breastplate with a fist.

Shaxx isn't having it:

Shaxx's firm gesture of denial drives the side of his hand into a shelf. An Omolon-branded canister falls off and rolls across the floor. "It must be an unstoppable force in sword form! It should spit fire! Also, it should be red."

And then Drifter:

"No, no," the Drifter says from the doorway. He kicks the rolling canister away without looking down. "I'm a law-abiding citizen. I pay my taxes. You can trust me. It needs to look mean. You want people thinking: 'They're madder, badder, and hungrier than me. I'm not tangling with them.'"

I'm losing it over him emphasising that he's a law-abiding citizen. It makes him least likely to be a law-abiding citizen. Then poor Banshee is like can you guys settle on a single design and they continue arguing. Absolutely incredible.

A lot of people already posted about the exotic sparrow Nostos. It's about Eramis reminiscing about her wife Athrys and their children and thinking where she might be now. And then she just basically more or less decides to go to them:

It was the same map that Eramis's mate, Athrys, had followed out of Sol. It even included the habitable zones she'd tabbed as potential landing sites. By now, Athrys might be Kell of her own settlement, living happily alongside their grown hatchlings. Or they might all be long-dead. In truth, Eramis hadn't wondered at either possibility for decades. But ever since she saw the Witness disappear into its portal, Eramis could think of little else. All her prior aspirations were made suddenly small. Eliksni solidarity, revenge against the Traveler, enmity with the Humans… they were all irrelevant. If a second Whirlwind was her fate, Eramis would suffer it as she had the first: with Athrys by her side.

Btw, "nostos" is a theme in Ancient Greek stories, about a hero heroically returning home.

Gloaming Journeyer has also been posted by pretty much everyone. It's about Drifter and Eris sharing an incredibly tender moment and finding peace with each other. Just read it.

Wyrmguard seasonal arm piece has a devastating update on Shaw Han's lore in which it is revealed that the Ahamkara exotic he wears is what he made a wish to. He wanted to have his own fireteam. At the end, he gets a call from "Caster-3" aka Cas, one of the members of his fireteam (alongside Maeve) that ended up dying to Navota. The backfire of a wish. Man.

And one more funny for the end, for Dragon's Breath. A return of Marcus Ren and Enoch Bast! They're doing fine and they're being dumbasses together with their friend, Ariadne Gris. Ariadne might be familiar to people who remember obscure lore from the vanilla sparrow lore Dinas Emrys in which Ariadne was called to the Vanguard to explain why she has a dragon symbol painted on her sparrow. She was being suspected of having an Ahamkara. Ikora found this whole thing ridiculous and Ariadne defended herself by saying a dragon painted on a sparrow was "cool."

And she's back at it again in Dragon's Breath, offended that it's called Dragon's Breath but not having a dragon painted on it. Enoch and Marcus then get a deal with her: she'll race her sparrow against the speed of the rocket. What happens next will shock you. Also, important:

Enoch says. At his side, Marcus studies the case.

Not beating the allegations that they're partners.