#kevin would be my free pass too

[josten4exy]

kevin day really had weirdly intense relationships with everyone just to end up being their best man literally imaginr ur at the andreil or kevjean wedding and best man kevin day follows the people getting married around and also has the most weirdly homoerotic moments with them to the point that everyone in the audience is confused

[ninyard]

Hey, so you said to send you prompts... Could you talk about some things Neil starts to remember and how he copes with remembering?

Here’s the time where Neil remembers being waterboarded, because I haven’t stopped thinking about that. Like not even once. cw; torture, vomitting

-

It’s not long after the Foxes big championship win that Andrew and Neil find themselves in a too-big, too-fancy hotel room for the first time. Kevin is staying with them, but he’s busy doing something with Wymack for a couple hours.

They have no responsibilities, nothing to do other than enjoy a hotel room to themselves. They do what any other couple would reasonably do; they order a bottle of champagne, a couple of desserts, and they run a hot bath. Not for them both, in the beginning, but Neil’s muscles are sore after a tough practice with Kevin the night beforehand, so he decided to run it for himself. The water is perfect to touch, almost a perfect amount in the tub, and Andrew is sitting up on the bathroom counter with his own glass of champagne in his hands.

“This feels weird,” Neil comments, twisting the knob until the water ceases to spill from the gold coloured faucet of the bath. “Like it’s something couples do.”

“Normal couples,” Andrew corrects him, putting the glass to his lips as Neil removes his clothes one article at a time. “You’re cleaning yourself and I’m here for moral support.”

“From all the way over there?” Neil steps into the hot water. The steam from it has fogged up the mirrors already, and he slides down into the white porcelain, relaxing back until the hair at the back of his neck is darkened by the water that wets it.

“I’m comfortable.” Andrew says around the rim of the flute. “But if you’re not used to it I can show you how it’s done.”

“Why would I not be used to having a bath?” Neil scoffs, running his wet hands over his hair to slick it back off of his face.

“I can’t picture it,” he shrugs, but he doesn’t really mean it. “I don’t imagine you had many while on the run.”

Neil’s sweet laugh reverberates around the room. “You’re right, but it’s not like it’s hard. I lie here and relax until I get so warm that it feels like I’m going to pass out. Right?”

Neil shuts his eyes and sinks back until the water surrounds his face, his hearing muffled by its calming rumble. He holds his breath to dip his face under before coming back up to the surface. When he opens his eyes after wiping the water from them, he looks over as Andrew crouched next to him with a washcloth in one hand and Neil’s glass in the other. Neil takes the glass in a dripping hand, and looks at Andrew as he sips from the cold, bubbly liquid.

“Are you going to show me how it’s done?” He says, and Andrew waves him off. He slips out of his robe with ease, and gestures for Neil to move forward in the tub. There’s plenty of room for the both of them, and Andrew steps in to sit behind him, his legs on either side of Neil. Neil waits until he is comfortable before reaching out to place his glass on the floor, moving to rest his back on Andrew’s chest.

They don’t speak as Andrew dips the small square cloth into the water to brush it over the top of Neil’s back. Neil shuts his eyes. The only sound in the room is the movement of the water between them, and the relaxed breathing that leaves the both of their noses. Andrew’s free arm rests on the edge of the tub, and Neil reaches out to interlace their fingers together. It’s so calming, the warmth that surrounds them, the peace that comes with the two of them alone together like this, so normal and comfortable.

Andrew’s squeezes out the liquid from the cloth onto the top of Neil’s head, then, startling him from his thoughts.

“I was just about to say how nice this was,” he tilts his head to let the water run off of it. “Thank you for changing my mind.”

Andrew’s response is to mumble a sound that could’ve been misconstrued as an apology, until he dips the cloth back under the water, and does it again. Neil tried to take the cloth from him, and the tub squeaks as he moves around, but Andrew keeps pulling it out of his reach.

Andrew gives up when Neil gets a hold of it, accepting as the gesture is returned. Neil loves how his blonde hair darkens under water, and smiles as Andrew’s bangs flatten over his eyes. He’s not quite turned around to face Andrew, but he twists his back to push his hair back off of his face.

“Yes or no?” He asks, and Andrew opens his eyes. His cheeks are pink from the heat of the bath.

“Yes.” He answers, and Neil stretches out to kiss him softly on the lips, before plopping the sopping wet square of fabric on the top of his head. Neil is laughing as Andrew takes the cloth from his hair and throws it at him, flat against his face, but that beautiful and melodic sound does not last long. It does not last long, as Neil’s laugh leads him to inhale beneath the fabric, and his flinch is almost strong enough to send a tidal wave of water cascading out onto the tiled floor.

For a second, Neil is back in the nest.

For a second, the memory is hazy, something unfamiliar. It’s not a memory he’s had before, more like a dream than a conscious reminder of Evermore.

There’s Jean’s hands on his shoulders, or somewhere else, as they tended to be, holding him down with as more force as required to keep him still. Riko’s maniacal laughter scores the scene, as he takes a break from whatever words he’d been spewing to admire his work.

“What is it?” Riko says. No, it’s Andrew, in their hotel bathroom, with this look across his face.

The washcloth is in Neil’s hand, and he looks down to it, but he sees nothing as he lifts his head back up. He can feel it, though, the water-heavy fabric spread over his face, over his head, draped without a chance of falling off. He doesn’t scream, but he hears it, the gargle of a plea to stop, incoherent as he feels himself drowning.

He can see Andrew as he wraps his fingers around Neil’s wrists, to pull them away from the mouth that they’d found themselves clamped over. There’s too much water. Too much water that feels like it’s filling his lungs, and it’s around him, and it’s in his hair, it’s in his eyes. Even the hands that protect him are damp with liquid. With lungs unwilling to fill at all, he tries to kick the water away from him, but with every movement, it just comes back to him stronger.

“You’ll drown him,” A cry of English words dipped in a French accent passes in front of him. He can’t hear it properly at all. It’s too loud; the slapping of water on a surface, the sputtering as he desperately struggles out of the path of pouring. Jean’s strained words mean nothing to Riko, a worthless request that would only lead to a desire for Riko to fulfil such a thing. “The master will not be pleased if you do.”

Riko snaps back at him then, a bark in Japanese as the spilling water subsides. He lifts the towel, or the bedsheets, or the heavy item of clothing that covered his lips. One hand in auburn hair he holds Neil back. He remembers how he pulls his own hair from its root while trying to lean forward to get the water out of his lungs.

He is standing now, and Andrew has wrapped him in a dry bathrobe before dressing himself, and he is rubbing a towel over Neil’s skin to dry it. Neil catches a glimpse of himself in the foggy glass of the shower door beside them, his lips almost blue, and face as pale as the porcelain tub that had started to drain.

Andrew snaps his fingers to pull Neil’s attention back to him, and does it again when it is unsuccessful at evoking any reaction. Neil looks at him finally, and Andrew places one hand on his chest and the other wrapped around the back of his neck.

“Breathe,” he says, one word, like it’s an easy thing to do.

“I can’t,” Neil gasps, but his lungs fill with water with every fill he takes in.

“You can.” Andrew says, sternly. “Breathe, Neil.”

Neil breathes in deep, but with it, another unexpected splash from an emptying basin pours down his throat without reprieve. He doesn’t remember falling to the floor, but suddenly his hands are flat on cold tile, as he heaves in oxygen that refuses to fill his chest at all.

Andrew lets him fall to his knees, and he doesn’t touch him. Instead he kneels down in front of him, his presence noticeable as Neil struggles through flashes of darkness and water and water and water and water.

“Stop,” he doesn’t mean to say it. His words are clear now, not a foolishly daring gargle, but still he feels the stream that travels from the sides of his lips down his cheeks.

“You’re killing him,” Jean’s panic doesn’t help. It doesn’t help, as the idea of torturing Neil to the point of extinction is nothing more than a turn on to Riko. It doesn’t stop him from holding each side of the towel over his face and pulling it backwards, crushing his nose, the water held in its fibres forced to escape. Riko does not fear the threat of a life taken by his hand. He is nothing less than excited by it.

Neil knows fear like an old friend. Neil knows this slow-dance with death like a movie on replay - it is as familiar as it is terrifying. Something about this though, this twisted assault born from sick fascination with torture, it’s different. He wouldn’t say that it was too far, even for someone like his father, but truth be told, he’s never known fear like this. The scars on his chest from the pointed touch of his father’s knife, or the smell of burning skin beneath a hot iron, or the puckering hole left by a gunshot wound had nothing on the sadistic things that Riko even thought of doing. He didn’t know how long he sits, or stands, or lies in that room for, hands holding him down, darkness of black walls parallel to the wet fabric over his eyes - and mouth, and nose, tight around the edges with rogue breaths finding their way beneath water and the penetrable thing that it pours onto.

“It will be much more satisfying if you just hand me over to my father,” Neil’s coughs are wet after he vomits out the water that had made its way to his stomach. It’s not until he looks up, and Riko’s eyes are on Jean instead of him, that he realises he’s spoken in French. He switched to English while spitting out water through gargling burps and coughs. “The master will kill you if I don’t come out of here alive.”

“I will be happy at least,” Riko shoves two fingers down Neil’s throat while pulling on his hair. He wipes the watery puke that coats his fingers onto Neil’s face after he vomits again from the force of Riko’s touch at the back of his throat. The noise that leaves his lips is guttural and unintentional. “Perhaps a long and painful death will be enough of a lesson learned for you. Oh, aren’t you having fun?”

Andrew’s voice pulls him back, again, but this time he grips Neil’s face so tightly it will leave a mark. “Come back,” he says, or maybe it’s, “fucking breathe.”

Neil battles against the flood that fills his mouth with no escape. There’s no room for air. There’s no room to breathe.

“Ten minutes,” Jean says, and the water stops. “We cannot be late.”

Then a rogue breath slips through, and another, and another, and the bathroom comes back into focus. Andrew is sitting in front of him, his face still as he waits for Neil to come back.

It’s a while before Neil’s heart starts to slow, and the bath is long emptied.

A long time since Neil had had such a visceral reaction to the next, perhaps the worst part about it all is the reminder of how much Neil had forgotten about the treatment he’d endured at the nest. If he’d forgotten about something as serious as torture banned by the Geneva Convention, what else had happened? What else had his mind stored away, too traumatising to be kept in view? Riko’s proclivity to going so far as committing an act that is considered a war crime is as unsurprising as it is fitting. It angers Neil, much angrier than he’s felt about Riko since his death. He remembers it in terrible and vivid snippets; the things Jean said to him afterwards, the smile on Riko’s face as he watched Neil come back from the brink over and over and over again. He remembers drying himself off afterwards to pull gear on over his head to start their evening practices with water in his lungs and a blur over his eyes. All he had wanted to do was sleep. Jean had helped him shower afterwards as he fought through laboured breath while avoiding the spray of water.

“Where were you?” Andrew asks, quietly, as neither of them dare to move.

It frustrated Neil to be unable to find the exact location of the incident in his head. Were they in the locker room? Or had a door locked behind them, keeping the Ravens out, who pretended to ignore the muffled screams as they walked past?

“Evermore,” Neil answers, and it doesn’t seem to be the answer Andrew is expecting. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Andrew doesn’t need the clarification, but still he nods.

“Riko,” Neil looks at his hands, and they’re shaking as he flexes his fingers. “He fucking waterboarded me. And I forgot.”

A flash of unmedicated rage crosses in front of Andrew’s vision. He doesn’t seem to have the right words to say, no response appropriate enough to explain what he wished he could do to the king.

“I’d kill him if I could,” Neil rests his fists on the floor. “I wish I pulled that trigger myself.”

“And still it wouldn’t be enough,” Andrew agrees. It’s hard to talk about the nest, even with him, especially with him. They both are too aware of what happened over those few weeks, in Evermore, in Easthaven. Neil knows too well how Andrew hates how he was unable to protect him. “Talk to me.”

“He would’ve killed me,” Neil says. “He would’ve kept going if we didn’t have to practice.”

Andrew can’t hide his grimace. It’s the part about Exy that he fears Kevin or Neil will find themselves toxically invested in - he occasionally worries their investment is born from necessity instead of true purpose. He sees their passion, clear as day, but that part that fears a life without it sometimes felt like it swallowed their passion whole.

“What do you need?” He asks.

“To know he’s burning in hell for the rest of eternity,” Neil pushes himself up to a standing position, and Andrew follows. Andrew doesn’t exactly hold out his arms, but something about his body language invites him close. As Neil steps into his space, he reaches out to hold his neck, as he hovers a hand over Andrew’s chest until he nods in permission for him to place it. Neil rests him head on Andrew’s shoulder as the goalkeepers fingers hold the damp hair at the back of his neck. “I have to talk to Kevin.”

Andrew doesn’t respond.

He simply holds Neil for as long as it takes for him to ground himself back on earth.

[charles-leclerc-official]

2024 Miami Grand Prix Race Analysis

My analysis of the Miami 2024 Grand Prix. There is a lot to cover so let’s not waste time with introductions. 

Table of Contents Race Start Ferrari -Charles -Carlos: His race + Oscar -Data Analysis Mclaren -Lando: Safety Car -Oscar -Data Analysis VCARB Red Bull Mercedes -Lewis Haas -Kevin Williams -Alex -Logan: DNF Final Thoughts

Race Start

We finally have a spicy turn 1 (really a race start) incident to talk about! I have to start with this because this did set the stage for the entire first stint of the race, and really the second half as well because of Oscar’s placement. 

At the very start of the race Checo barreled forward basically trying to cut ahead of both Ferraris. He went way too fast and almost hit Max going into turn 1. 

It’s actually just impressive that he didn’t hit anyone and that Charles and Carlos didn’t have a crash either with each other or with Checo. Checo dropped from P4 down to P5 with that maneuver.

He was way too ambitious with this start. Obviously he had to come out aggressive and the ultimate goal would be to get ahead of both Ferraris, but trying to jump them both? Way too much all at once and that is what cost him. He should have stuck with simply trying to pass Carlos, then he’d have been able to work on catching Charles. But instead he overshot, lost places and Oscar was the one who benefited greatly from it, jumping from P6 to P3. 

So Oscar was the main winner of the whole situation, and the two drivers who lost places were Checo and Carlos. 

There are two main reasons this wasn’t penalized. 1. It was the race start and turn 1 and the stewards are always more lenient with first lap messes like this. 2. It didn’t cause a collision. If a collision had occurred Checo would have been at fault, but everyone was very lucky, so no penalty.

With the stage set let's dig in to what went down with all the teams.

Ferrari

Charles

Charles had a very impressive weekend. After missing all of free practice due to spinning out(due to losing traction on a turn) he then went straight into sprint qualifying and pulled off P2 which he held in the sprint. He then qualified P2 again in the race and finished P3. All of this without having any free practice to get his setup optimized for the track. This really speaks to the SF-24 base being reliable as well as Charles’ overall skills on track. 

He actually had a very clean race all things considered. His pace was not as strong as Oscar so he lost that place pretty early in the race and dropped to P3 behind Oscar and Max and he kept that place for the rest of the race. He pit early because the medium tyre was good on the SF-24 this weekend. They pit Charles early to undercut Oscar(which they did, and that was needed as Oscar was faster on the mediums) After that his hard tyre management was insanely good, He finished in the top 3 with the oldest set of hard tyres. He was able to keep pace with Max on tyres that were 4 laps older. And considering this is still the base SF-24 while the RB20 has already been upgraded is a really strong showing from the car itself. 

Overall a very strong weekend from Charles and the SF-24 again showing that the Ferrari base is strong.

More on his race performance in the data section.

Carlos

Carlos qualified P3, finished the race in P4 and was dropped down to P5 after he was given a 5 second penalty for making contact with Oscar. Obviously this was his worst result so far this year, it isn’t 100% his fault, the race order changed in such a way that was not in his favor and there wasn’t much he could have done there. So the loss of one place was not his direct fault, just unlucky. The other palace due to the penalty that was at least in part his fault and I will get into that more in the section going over his battle with Oscar. 

So after we saw qualifying results I said that the best strategy for Ferrari was for Charles to attack Max and Carlos to defend against Checo who was behind him in P4. Well Checo made that impossible with the race opening. Not much Carlos or anyone could have done about that, so it would have been a good strategy but Checo had other plans. Cannot fault him for that, good thing he was able to get out of the way to avoid a collision. I am suspecting Checo was super aggressive to try to counter that potential Ferrari strategy. But yeah Carlos couldn’t have done anything to stop Checo from doing that. 

But also this is to say that right out of the beginning of the race Carlos was set up for a very different race than I think he was anticipating. I’m sure that defending against Checo was probably what Ferrari had prepared him for, but that race opening really changed the order and altered his strategy for the rest of the race. 

I’ll just briefly mention Carlos’ radio message near the beginning when he came up behind Charles. He said he felt like he had the better pace, and Ferrari didn’t give any orders. This is mostly just talking. And I think it’s also fine for a team to just let it be. If he had better pace he’d be able to get ahead. He didn't, thus it wasn’t an issue. I feel like any team staying silent when a driver says something like this is like “okay you have better pace prove it” and we saw how that went. He and Charles were very close on pace with fresh tyres. But the difference became clear as the tyres aged. Charles stayed ahead and Carlos steadily dropped off. I don’t think it’s a big deal, normal for a driver to say they have better pace, normal to ignore it unless it’s actually true. 

I don’t really care about radio messages unless they actually lead to something changing about a race. Driver’s talk all the time, only if it leads to results does it really matter so I don’t think any of it is worth covering.

Carlos VS Oscar

I am going to ask both Carlos and Oscar fans to take a deep breath going into this section. 

One of the main battles on track this race was between Oscar and Carlos for P4. Oscar gained track position pretty early in the race when Checo did that crazy move in turn 1. He was able to jump up to P2 and passed Max in the pits to take P1 for a while. 

He lost the positions in the pits and then the safety car for Logan made it odd to try to regain, which put him one place ahead of Carlos. Then Carlos overtook and got behind Oscar. This is when the battle began and where trouble cropped up. 

Oscar and Carlos were pretty much matched on pace. Carlos was slightly more consistent in pace, but they were very close. Which is what made this a tight battle. It’s what allowed Carlos to catch up to Oscar and what made Oscar able to defend.

So this was always going to be messy. And it did in fact get messy.

I think that most of what happened between Oscar and Carlos falls under the "good hard racing" category. I think there is an argument to be made that neither were deserving of a penalty. But if you want insight into why the stewards made the calls they did then this is it.

First I will cover the move that Carlos was handed a penalty for by the stewards. On lap 39 turn 17 Carlos missed the apex, braking late which caused him to slightly lose the rears of the car. This resulted in his tyres hitting Oscar’s front wing. This was not something Carlos could have done intentionally, and was instead a result of slight loss of control of the car. He didn’t do it on purpose; it was a result of driver error on his part. So yes he was at fault but it was not due to him intentionally trying to cause Oscar damage. 

Going into the turn Oscar has the outside line, Carlos has the inside, Carlos is slightly ahead here just so we are clear.

They start the turn, there is space between them. However this is where Carlos started to turn a little too late.

And here is where the contact came. Carlos broke too late and when he needed to take the apex he missed, slowing too quickly caused him to lose the rears slightly, and thus he turned into Oscar's rear wing. Oscar was driving under the assumption that Carlos had not misjudged the apex and that he would keep control. So there wasn't anything Oscar could have done. But also I want to highlight that this isn't a move that could have been done on purpose. It was an error on Carlos' part yes, but it was not intentional.

I would also argue that Oscar turned in too sharply, or didn’t react in time to Carlos’ error on the apex. Had he not been so close he wouldn’t have been hit. I think this is the reason the stewards only gave a partial penalty to Carlos. I do agree that Oscar was too close. But he ultimately isn’t at fault. 

I think this looked worse than it is because both drivers were racing very hard against each other up until this point so it’s easy to believe that one or both did something intentional. I think it was a result of them battling closely and slight error on Carlos’ part. 

Causing contact is deserving of a penalty.

Now let’s look at the incident where Oscar forced Carlos off the track. Going into the turn Oscar came up the inside and pushed Carlos out and Carlos ended up with all 4 wheels off the track. However there is nuance here so let’s take a look at the footage.

Going into the turn Carlos has the clear outside line, Oscar has the inside. Oscar is ahead.

This is where the beginning of trouble started. Oscar still clearly has the inside line. Carlos has plenty of room on the outside, but he turned in more.

And then continue to turn in to squeeze Oscar giving him nowhere to go is why Oscar had to fight back and push Carlos out. The fact they didn't have damage here is impressive really.

But Oscar was on his line, he was ahead had the inside line and defended it. Carlos ran wide as a result of this defense. Oscar did not push him all the way off the track just because.

Both of these are hard racing moves and I think that because they both were very pushy with each other was the reason no penalty was given to Oscar.

Personally I am on the fence about whether this is deserving of a penalty on Oscar’s part. He did force Carlos completely off the track. He had the inside line and he’s allowed to protect it, but was this too far? It falls in a gray area for me. I think that Carlos closing him off in that turn didn’t give him much choice so I am not going to be too mad no penalty was given. But I can see why someone would make a different call as well.

Now I think this is a penalty that could be debated. However, regardless of the actual penalty, what I do not love is the half measure from the stewards, reducing Carlos' penalty down to five seconds when the new rules say this kind of thing should be 10 seconds. Is he at fault or not? It should be a 10 second penalty or no penalty, I don’t like this very situational precedent this is setting. As a Ferrari fan I am biased toward no penalty. But I think we can all agree that this was an odd choice and doesn’t inspire any confidence in the stewards’ decision here(not that they had much good faith to begin with) 

I read their reasoning and I don’t think it’s strong enough to warrant splitting the time. If Carlos is at fault(and based on their decision in their eyes he is) then it should be a 10 second penalty. 

My hope is that this kind of ruling does not come up again in future races.

I want to quickly dispel some narratives forming around this battle between them.

“Carlos ruined Oscar’s race, he admitted it!”: Yes and no. Was Carlos responsible for Oscar’s damage and him dropping all those places? Yes. But did he do it on purpose? No. Carlos is notoriously unreliable in interviews. I have no idea why he thought it was a better look to imply he did it on purpose than to say he made a mistake in the turn and lost the rear slightly. So no he did not intentionally turn into Oscar with his rear tyres to cause Oscar damage. “Oscar should have got a penalty”: There is a case to be made for that. I am not the stewards so I can’t change that. They decided not to give a penalty. You really have to take it up with the FIA as it’s not Oscar’s fault he didn’t get a penalty. It’s certainly a fringe case with arguments for the case for a penalty on both sides.

As far as Carlos overall race goes he was quite fast(in the race), he was competitive against the other fastest car and again he was just showing how strong that SF-24 base is. He was able to fight with Oscar who was faster and in an upgraded car. So even though his race looked messy there was a lot of promise there and he showed again that the SF-24 is doing good things for both our Ferrari drivers. I was impressed to see him keeping up on pace like that.

Data Analysis

I have a lot of comparisons to make as far as both Ferraris go. There were a lot of interesting on track battles in terms of pace and tyre management. All looks really promising for Ferrari.

First a quick look at Oscar’s fastest lap Vs Carlos.

Very close. They were essentially matched on pace in the first two sectors. Where Carlos lost the time to Oscar was on the low speed corners in sector 3. This has been an area where the SF-24 has been underperforming, so this isn’t a surprise. But this mainly shows why the battle between them went on as long as it did, and also why things came to a head on those low speed corners. That is where Oscar had the edge on pace and is also a place for overtaking. So Carlos had to push more and Oscar obviously was still able to stay within striking range.

The main battle for Charles in this race was against Max. And pace-wise he was matching him. The reason that Charles didn’t close the gap further was because he had some bad laps and Max was slightly more consistent in his second stint lap time wise. Overall pace was practically identical to Max in the RB-20 which is what we want to see, especially since Red Bull has already upgraded Max’s car and the SF-24 is still the base. 

Here is Charles full race pace against Max. This is the closest they have been all year. Very promising to see. Especially on the hards. Charles was on older hards but still beating Max on pace.

It is worth noting that Max was not 100% comfortable in the car so he was not in top form this weekend, but that just shows that the RB20 is not infallible, the operating window for the car seems narrower, and Max also isn’t perfect.

Overall Charles was stronger consistently and that put him ahead of Max in performance on many laps. If Max hadn't had track position he likely would not have been able to catch Charles.

Now here is a look at the race pace for the top 3.

The top 3 very very close in pace, like the difference is negligible, especially considering Max and Charles were on slightly older tyres (and Max had some slight damage due to the cone) but this is very close and means very good things for Ferrari as it’s the only car here that has yet to bring any upgrades. If upgrades bring what Ferrari expects then Red Bull and Mclaren should be nervous. 

Here is a fastest lap comparison for the top 3. Lando had the fastest lap of the three, but the difference between him and Charles was by one tenth, and Charles set his fastest lap on significantly older tyres. Max was the furthest off by 3 tenths to Lando and 2 tenths to Charles.

The reason Max was ahead of Charles was because of track position. Charles was faster, but the pace difference wasn’t enough for him to catch Max for the overtake. But this is a good sign for when Charles does have track position over Max. And again that is against the upgraded Mclaren. The SF-24 is such a solid base.

Also let’s look at Carlos against all of the top 3 as well. He actually had the fastest lap of this grouping(fastest lap of the race was Oscar) He was faster than Lando by a few hundredths which is close, but he was faster. One thing to really highlight between Carlos and Lando is that the only points where Lando is faster is those low speed corners. Something the SF-24 must address to catch Mclaren in the future. But also notice how those same low speed corners are where Charles was better compared to Carlos as well.

And finally adding Oscar for the full Ferrari to Mclaren comparison as well as Max.

Oscar really did have a great lap, and it was on those fresh medium tyres which is why his time is faster by 3 tenths than the others. While the other four were on older tyres for their best laps. However the most interesting thing to note is how Ferrari and Mclaren are extremely close. The overlap is everywhere and the gap is so fine. The car who is the odd one out is the Red Bull and that’s very promising for the rest of the season as far as Ferrari is concerned. The highlight here is that Ferrari and Mclaren were the fastest cars this weekend and it was close, way closer than the race results might suggest.

Now let's talk about tyres. Charles finished his race on 38 lap old hards. The oldest of the other top 4 drivers.

Here is the first stint pace on the medium tyres for the race. This is when the tyres were most subject to the same conditions and you can see the pace that was the most similar was Charles and Max. Not only that but they were the two drivers reducing their laps times, instead of steadily increasing. This is where you can see why Carlos fell away behind Charles, and also why Lando was not making much headway in catching Checo.

Charles had improved by roughly 7 tenths to a full second of pace by the time he pit. Max stayed on pace similar to Lando. So again we see Charles pulling off negative tyre deg(minimal but still noteworthy) compared to his direct competition as well as his teammate. Lando's laps were very consistent, that obviously came up in the second half of the race. Carlos pushed hard but dropped off on pace(as we'd expect to see with normal deg) He really pushed but he'd already lost the time to Charles in the middle of the stint and wasn't able to gain it back. Still one of the better tyre performances we've seen from Carlos as well. The fact that both Ferraris are the strongest here is again due to the SF-24 and the way the car treats the tyres.

The main reason Ferrari pit Charles after this was to try to undercut Oscar, it was not due to a drop off in the tyre performance. Since he was pushing I don't think they'd have lasted as long as we've seen in the past from Charles, but there was more in them. The pit was strategic not due to a loss of pace on Charles' part.

It was not possible to really correct for the mess that was the safety car and to correct for the age of the tyres. At least not in a way I was satisfied with. Each of the top 4 drivers were in different places when it came to those hards. The best comparison is to Max and Charles was beating him on pace in older hards(see Charles vs Max race pace graph above). And Charles was pushing in those tyres so he wasn't even driving 100% to preserve them, because of the safety car Ferrari had to balance pushing to keep ahead and also to save the tyres. Charles pulled this off beautifully. Taking this stint on the hards from the race re-start on lap 33 after the yellow flag.

I will show the raw data for the top three to see the over all tyre deg but I wanted to make sure that everyone considers context. I did not include Carlos here because he was battling Oscar so his times are going to reflect that more than his tyre management.

The thing to note is Charles lap consistency has not fallen off, even when compared to the other two top drivers, especially Lando who was on 10 lap newer tyres. Charles final lap was off Lando by one tenth. You would not know he was on tyres that were 10 laps older. An insane showing in terms of tyre management from him yet again. So far in 2024 I can say with confidence that Charles has been the best in tyre management. The SF-24 has been amazing in this area and that ability in the car is only highlighted when Charles is behind the wheel.

Overall this race showed just how strong the SF-24 base is yet again, it was able to keep up with both Max in the RB20 and the Mclarens which had brought big upgrades to this race. Both Carlos and Charles were competitive against the fastest cars and this is very promising for what the SF-24 is set up to do once it is upgraded. Overall Ferrari was the second fastest car this weekend and that was by a very fine margin. Exciting things for both Ferrari drivers and for the car base itself. 

Not Ferrari’s strongest weekend obviously, but the data gathered gives a lot of valuable insight, and also both driver’s secured placements to keep Ferrari in a comfortable P2 in the standings, and for Charles to be P3 in the WDC behind the Red Bulls.

Mclaren

Before we get to the Mclaren section I would like to remind you dear reader that this is a Ferrari blog, my bias is very clear, do not expect me to celebrate a Mclaren victory. I will analyze the facts fairly, but do not come at me for not being excited or hyping things up. I am not the person for that. Our teams have a long standing rivalry and I have made my place in that rivalry very clear. 

With all that being said let’s talk about Mclaren.

Lando

Lando Norris won his first grand prix after taking the lead of the race as a result of a safety car deployment on lap 28. He started P6 and finished P1.

Now this win was due to a few factors. First Lando had the fastest pace of the race(on the hard tyres), and second he was the only driver who benefited from that safety car. He was ahead of the pack and on newer tyres compared to every competitive car behind him(Max, Charles, Carlos, Oscar). He drove well and his pace was fastest by a fine margin, but we have to account for the fact that a good amount of luck put him at the front of the field. 

He was behind Checo in P6 having made no places up in the race, then Checo pit, and Carlos and Charles pit, then Max pit, and Oscar pit the lap before him. He gained every place through the pits. Then on lap 28 the safety car was deployed in front of every car behind him. Since he pit lap 27 he effectively got the benefit of a safety car pit which can see gains of 5 - 7 seconds, and if we look at the margin he ended up winning the race by this is reflected, yes his pace was better but it wasn’t create a magical 7 second gap better. In fact due to that lucky pit timing he got the benefit of a full safety car pit without having to serve the time in the pits. Not his fault he was lucky, but that does account for his placement and the gap he finished with, has nothing to do with pace. 

This win was mostly on the fact that he was insanely lucky both on the timing of his pit, and the timing and placement of the safety car. He didn’t take any of those positions. And I am fairly confident that had that safety car not been deployed at that time he wouldn’t have. He may have come in P3 but he was not on track to be able to overtake all of those cars in front, even with faster pace. The only thing that can be really said skill wise for this drive was he did have the fastest pace(the second stint is due to the fact he was on much newer tyres than the two cars behind) and that he didn’t crash or spin out after he was given the lead of the race. A win is a win but this was mostly due to an insane amount of luck that has nothing to do with the actual race craft. He was on fresher tyres so of course he got a better start at the race restart. It’s not as hard to defend against a car that has been damaged and two cars on older tyres.

I would have liked to get to see how he fared trying to overtake Max, but maybe we will see that in a future race. I also am sure he wouldn’t have been able to overtake Charles. Lando was also faster in Australia, by a similar margin in fact, and he wasn’t able to catch Charles, let alone pass him. So to assume just because he had the slightly faster pace that he would have won without that insane luck is very misguided.

Without the safety car I am not convinced he would have won or even been on the podium(but speculating isn’t really too helpful there is no way to be sure) I will note that since Max was struggling more for grip and thus pace this weekend I actually think that had the safety car not occurred the P1 battle might have been Piastri vs Leclerc. Because guess what, being the fastest car does not automatically mean you win the race, yes he was fastest but he was stuck behind Checo for 17 laps and made no progress overtaking. So that speed wasn’t really doing anything for him back there(of course he was subject to dirty air) but if he couldn’t overtake Checo the second Red Bull it is reasonable to assume he was not going to be able to overtake Max. We know with a similar pace match up he couldn’t take Charles either. If the safety car hadn’t happened there Oscar would have had the leading Mclaren position, and we did see that he can pass Charles, and he would have had a better chance against Max. I entertain this just to highlight that the speed can be there all it wants but the race craft skill was not there this weekend and it certainly did not play a significant role in the win. 

But again it’s impossible to say. Speculating is only so productive. However I think it is interesting to see how things might have played out taking the need to overtake into account. 

The positioning was due to the safety car. The reason he stayed in P1 was because he could keep the gap to Max(who was on older tyres) and Charles(who was on even older tyres) His pace was faster, but by on average of 2-hundredths of a second to Max and Charles. That is not really enough for him to have won the race without gaining that P1 position with the safety car. And that pace gap does not explain why he finished with a 7 second gap, that was the safety car.

And here’s the thing, wins happen like this. He absolutely had the winning pace but that was due to being in P1 due to the safety car(he would not have been there otherwise) and thus he had newer tyres than the cars directly behind him, which on this track in the heat was a big advantage. A win is a win so putting it all in context should not be an issue. We aren’t here to celebrate, we are here to see what happened. 

Winning a race usually does have some elements of luck, being able to pull off a win is being able to take advantage of that luck when it happens. That’s what happened with Lando. He got very lucky with some elements of the race and was able to drive to take full advantage of that. 

All in all an interesting race for Mclaren.

Oscar

I already covered Oscar’s battle and contact with Carlos in the Ferrari section. So this is just going to cover the other elements of his race this weekend.

Tyre deg has been Oscar’s main weakness when it comes to overall pace in his driving. This weekend he was driving pretty hard and still managed to have good speed which means he’s improved and also the car has probably improved to account for that as well.

He set the fastest lap from P19 which was pretty entertaining to see. The reason he was able to do this was due to the fact he had to pit for a new nose after the contact with Carlos damaged his front wing. He got fresh medium tyres and was able to really set a good fast lap. He also set it without DRS so that speaks to his speed this weekend(and looks promising as far as the car upgrades he did have go). 

The fact that the damage he took happened so late in the race meant he just didn’t have the time to climb the field. He made up some places but there just wasn’t enough time. Had this happened earlier I have no doubt he would have finished in the top 10. 

Oscar raced well and his speed was very good, he was very unlucky that the damage to his car required a pit at a very bad time in the race. 

Even though this result is obviously disappointing, I do think it showed what Oscar can do, and we are going to see a lot more battles and speed from him in future races. 

I will finish this section with the fact that to me the most impressive bit of driving from a Mclaren driver all weekend was Oscar managing to take full advantage of the chaos Checo caused in turn 1 at the race start and jumping up 2 places. Like he saw the line and took it. As far as actually racing against other cars goes in a Mclaren, Oscar has been showing to be stronger in this area. He overtook Charles and that is impressive. If Max hadn’t pitted when he did we might have gotten to see if Oscar was able to take him as well. Lando had the pace(by a small margin to Oscar only on the hards, Oscar's pace on mediums was better than Lando), but I think Oscar is winning in terms of managing his on track battles. The data for Oscar is also skewed because he was stuck fighting with Carlos and then took damage so the statistics of his pace show him being much slower than Lando, when on that first stint Oscar was faster. Without the bad luck on his part I think he would have finished ahead of Lando in the race.

Data Analysis

So I first want to do a teammate comparison. It is of course important to note that Lando had the full Mclaren upgrade package and Oscar only had half. How that really affected their results is still hard to say.

But here is their race pace. I really think we can only compare the first stint on the mediums, because after Oscar’s battle with Carlos hindered him, and after he took damage his pace was really not going to be its best.

That first stint Oscar is actually consistently faster on pace until around lap 18 when Lando passes him in that department. I think this comes down to tyre management. Lando is better than Oscar in that area, but pace wise Oscar had it on the mediums for the race start, and he was showing it with the passes he was making. 

The takeaway for me is two-fold. The Mclaren upgrades have added speed. And that I think a head to head of Lando vs Oscar in the right conditions Oscar may have the edge. If he continues to work on his tyre management we may see him pass Lando on pace altogether. Remains to be seen. But overall this is very close for both of them, so they were both getting a lot of good performance out of that car this weekend.

Here is a comparison of their fastest lap.

I want to note that Oscar set this after getting a fresh set of mediums after he took front wing damage. He still showed that he was the strongest I think in all of sector 3 all race. That is where the Mclaren car was beating the Ferraris and the Red Bulls, and that is also where Oscar was outperforming Lando. Lando was on much older tyres, so he didn’t have as good of a chance to be able to set a really clean lap this race. But I think that before Oscar was dealing with Carlos and was damaged he was still faster so I think he still would have set a faster lap to Lando in equal conditions this race.

VCARB

Probably VCARB’s best weekend overall as a team. With Danny bringing in his first points of the season coming in P4 during the sprint and Yuki coming in P7 in the race they got a good chunk of points for the team. And in the midfield that means a lot. They have really cemented themselves as the top of the midfield by a pretty good margin. 

Danny of course got the best result we’ve seen so far, with that P4 in the sprint, he defended against Carlos in a Ferrari the entire race and scored his first points of the season. 

Now he started P20 in the race because he had to serve a 3 place starting grid penalty from China. He qualified P18. So you might be wondering why Danny was seemingly on fire for the sprint and sprint qualifying but then seemed to be slow again in the race qualifying. The answer is that changing a car from sprint set up to race setup can be pretty big and if they don’t get it right it can be costly. We saw the same thing with Lewis in China, P2 in the sprint and then back to the middle of the pack during the race.

Were it not for that grid penalty he likely would have finished the race just outside the points. Danny started P20 and finished P15 so he did make up some good places. 

Yuki had a good weekend, coming in P8 in the sprint and getting that single point and then P7 in the race with another 6 points, he is still very much the more consistent of the two drivers in the VCARB car as far as bringing in the points goes. Like he is now in P10 in the driver standings with 14 points, behind Lewis Hamilton who is in 9th with 27 points.  

All in all a good weekend for VCARB and I must say they did have the nicest looking car on the grid as well. 

Red Bull

This was Max’s worst actual race so far this year. In Australia he had to DNF due to a mechanical failure, nothing to do with his driving. Here he for sure made some mistakes. Some of that was due to car setup, and some of that was some error on his part. Either way it’s his weakest performance since Singapore 2023. Still to say this and have him still be in P2 and P1 in the sprint shows just how strong of a driver he is. 

What cost him the most was when he didn’t have grip going into turn 16, cut the corner and took out the bollard cone. This cost him time, and some slight floor damage. Due to an error, as well as the lack of grip the RB-20 was struggling with all weekend. I think he’d have been a little faster were it not for this damage. 

To come in P2 as a weak showing with a car that was clearly not setup well all weekend just shows how fast the RB-20 is and also speaks to Max's skill as a driver.

Checo’s race wasn’t great. That start was way too much, but after that he kept his head down and didn’t cause more trouble. He finished P5 but jumped up to P4 after Carlos received that 5 second penalty. His weakest race so far this year as well.

All in all for Red Bull both their drivers were not in top form this weekend. That does indicate that the RB-20 was not performing as well on this track and in these conditions. Interesting to see and promising for any team hoping to catch up to them in the standings.

 

Mercedes

This was Mercedes second best race of the season. Lewis was finally comfortable in the car and came in P6 after starting P8. George started P7 and finished P8. Not George’s best race or performance, but as a team this result this is overall the second best points wise since Bahrain. 

Lewis especially put in a great showing. His overtake on Nico was a memorable moment, just a textbook Hamilton overtake, smooth, just great to see him racing after that car has been letting him down so much this season. 

Also this is the first race where Lewis outperformed George. He obviously did in the China sprint, but this is the first Grand Prix where he was ahead of George. This may be a sign that he has found some solutions to the issues he’s been facing with his car setup, or possibly conditions were more favorable for him on track. He’s Lewis so I am thinking this is part of a slow but steady comeback to doing the best possible in that car. Make no mistake the current Mercedes car is limiting both drivers. But it’s had moments of getting to the top 5 or at least not far from the top 5 so there is more to unlock in that car.

Haas

Haas in the sprint was funny. I’m sorry the strategy was the same as Jeddah, Kevin commits crimes and doesn’t care about penalties so long as he holds up the field to protect Nico so Nico can get points. It worked in Jeddah. Worked in the sprint, and worked in the race. It’s certainly an interesting strategy. 

Now with all the penalties Kevin has collected this weekend and the rest of the season if he gets one more he will have enough penalty points to be suspended for a race. Obviously not great for him or for Haas but he doesn’t seem too worried about that. 

Haas has been working well as a team and really taken up all the minor points at the tail end of the field. The teamwork has really paid off. 

Is completely sacrificing one driver and letting him run rampant across the track a good long term approach? Probably not. But there aren’t any rules against it. If Haas are willing to do it to get points then I guess fair play. It’s mostly just really entertaining to watch. Yes it has messed up a lot of driver’s races so far this season, but you cannot deny it has made for entertaining moments and battles. 

His most egregious crime was when he made contact with Logan during the race causing Logan's DNF. Obviously the penalty was deserved, he did not have position going into that corner and Logan was powerless to do anything about it.

I will agree with Kevin and say “All of the penalties were well deserved”

I do have the theory that Kevin is going for an all time record for most penalty points accumulated during a single race, a single season, and all of F1 history, and he’s actually on track to get at least one of those records. So if he wants to be remembered for his crimes on track this is certainly a way to do it. Best of luck to him in that endeavor!

Kevin Magnussen was the most entertaining driver of the weekend. Love him or hate him he had your attention.

Williams

Williams had the worst race as a team. Alex was struggling in the car all weekend including during the race getting one of his worst placements finishing P18. The Williams car has been bad all season, we knew that, but on this track the race setup they went with was also not great. 

Logan actually got Williams best result all season with that P10 in the sprint race. No points, but given how the car and team have struggled showing that the car can get into P10 is something. 

However during the race Logan DNFed due to a collision with Kevin. Kevin was at fault, he charged through the turn and forced Logan off the track. Logan had the line and hadn’t done anything wrong. Kevin was just being reckless and took that turn way too sharply. 

Logan was sent into the barrier and had to retire. Extremely unfortunate considering it was his home race. His radio messages indicated that he was injured, likely biting his lip or his tongue during the crash. Hopefully he recovers quickly. 

It was a shame because Logan was on pace to have his best weekend of 2024, and it was ended through no fault of his own driving.

Final Thoughts

This was another very interesting race. Some spicy on track battles, a maiden win for Lando, and Ferrari was strong on track against the other two top teams. 

All in all an entertaining race. 

See you all at Imola! 

[ssahotchnerr]

aftermath;

the consequences or aftereffects of a significant unpleasant event.

part 1 cw; begins right after 5x10, mentions of death, grieving, mention of food/alcohol

a/n; buckle up!! get ready for slowburn, angst, and everything that comes in between!!!!! AND AHH my first series!! i hope y'all enjoy <3 please feel free let me know all your thoughts as we embark on this journey together! this part is more background based before we really dive in - it's very important to the overall plot!

series masterlist | masterlist | wc; 1.7k

-

haley was a stranger. to you, at least.

you've encountered her once, maybe twice, but only in passing. the two of you had never a full conversation, just merely acknowledged each other's presence as appropriate. it was as insignificant as any basic encounter one would have on the street, but you remembered it clearly, almost too vividly. you deemed it as a result of recent occurrences, or hotch's current leave of absence, but the memory wouldn't stop repeating itself over and over again in your mind.

dinner parties at rossi's were common. if the ever so thoughtful serial killers allowed for it and granted a weekend off, the team would congregate at dave's. dave would make whatever grand Italian dish he had up his sleeves, the lot of you would bring appetizers, and then enjoy a night of relaxation together, as those with normal lives would. when you first joined the bau, over a year ago now, you hadn't expected a dynamic similar to this. former colleagues of yours were distant, cold, and treated personal lives as a taboo. they didn't want to be on friendly terms, they refused to be.

an outsider would call these dinners team bonding, previously you would, and while that could be true, that's not what it was exactly. it was a family affair, you all were family.

and as a result, it only made sense jack had a standing invitation. along with will, henry, sometimes kevin.

you could picture jack running around the backyard, kicking around a soccer ball. it was after dinner, and you could vaguely hear hotch calling out to him, reminding him to slow down as they had just ate. that night, jack had been so lively with energy, completely oblivious to the horrors of the world. if you could go back in time, you would do anything in your power to conserve that for him. no one that young should face what he had, no one should regardless. like this particular memory, you couldn't shake the solemn expression glued on his face at haley's funeral, nor the image of him hoisted on hotch's side, saying their final goodbyes at the cemetery. you could only guess, but you believed that while he didn't understand what exactly had occurred, he knew his mom was gone, and she wasn't coming back.

it was strange, that haley was gone, you had just seen her not too long ago. there was also a distinct shift in the world, it seemed. like everything would no longer be the same.

it was a few weeks before she and jack had to go into isolation, that night at dave's, and haley had picked up jack. she greeted everyone as she entered the backyard, where you were all frequenting the back patio, a friendly smile on her face. forced or genuine, you didn't know. jack excitedly ran up to her, not hesitating to launch himself into her arms. as he did so, hotch slowly approached her, before they sauntered off to the side, exchanging quiet words. you were too far away to hear, which was fine, it wasn't your place to anyway. but that didn't mean you couldn't see them.

you hadn't meant to stare, but something about hotch had piqued your interest; you couldn't tear your sight away from him even if you tried.

it was the look in his eyes. the expression on his face.

hotch never showed emotions, genuine emotions, as everyone and anyone knew. not in the office, not in the field, and they were tame in the instances of family dinners, going out for drinks, etc.. while he was more laidback, he still had a professionalism about him.

this was different, and maybe it was the profiler in you, but you knew what it was. it was clear.

he still loved haley, probably no less than the day he had first fallen for her. his face had softened, his body language was indicating he wanted to move closer, but his better judgement and feet refused to let him. he didn't break eye contact once, his eyes longing for something, but there was also an acceptance in them.

this was want she wanted, and so, he was giving it to her. hotch wasn't happy, but he would stop at nothing to make sure she was. his expression, you then realized, was a ghost of his past; a past love that had faltered. you had tried to imagine the two of them, young and in love.

suddenly you found yourself wishing that somehow, they would find a resolution, a way to make things work. if hotch was one thing to go off of, what they had was as real as love could possibly get, a love only the luckiest of people can encounter. you found yourself wishing that someday, someone would look at you the way hotch looked at haley.

as you tried to sleep at night, this memory blocked any possibility of sleeping.

you hurt for their family of three, despite not knowing any of them very well. again, you've only encountered haley, but found yourself wishing you had gotten to know her. maybe it would help you understand.

jack; he's always been polite to you, in the few times you had seen him. you hoped it wouldn't take long for the liveliness to enter him again, if it was gone. he was too young.

but hotch, you found yourself hurting for him the most.

maybe it was because you had witnessed such a moment between him and haley. part of you felt guilty for it, as it wasn't your moment to take. but your heart ached for him; you were aching for his aching heart. you couldn't imagine how he must've felt; the aftermath he had no choice but to face.

she had been the one for him. the one. from what you've been told, she was his high school sweetheart, the one he pictured himself being with forever. they had agreed; through sickness and in health, til death do we part. when they stood there and vowed that very thing, they had no idea. no idea that parting would come sooner as opposed to later, in the most horrific way imaginable.

you would never forget the sight of him, crumbled on the ground as derek pulled him away from foyet. it was a foreign sight to see, hotch at his breaking point. part of you thought that maybe, he wasn't capable of breaking.

you knew you weren't the only one- worried about him. the entirety of the team was, and rightfully so. everyone was trying to figure out how to navigate this- how to best help him. but hotch was, well, hotch. he didn't seem like the person who accepted help, even if he needed it. it was an unspoken agreement between everyone, the best way to help was give him space, as much as you disliked it. he's always been kind to you, to everyone, granting assistance and more whenever needed- no matter what the situation entailed. didn't he deserve the same? didn't he need the same?

you couldn't shake the uneasiness in your chest, it was a different kind of feeling, and it was buried within you. it didn't want to resurface, but it was making its presence evidently known.

you didn't even know hotch that well; you barely knew him. so why?

whatever it was, it kept you up at night, tossing and turning until the sun was peeking over the horizon, announcing a new day. recently, the sunrise has lost its beauty, you found it rather mocking.

another day full of unknowns was about to begin.

-

"hey," you offered penelope a weak smile as you entered the bullpen, stifling a yawn. "morning."

"here sunshine," penelope handed her own cup of coffee over to you without a second thought. "you look like you need this way more than i do."

you graciously accepted, breathing in it's sweet aroma as you began to head to your desk, "this better do the trick. i could fall asleep standing up right now, honestly."

"oh, believe me, it will," penelope chucked softly, linking her arm with yours as she walked alongside you. "there's about four espresso-"

"wait," you interrupted as you stopped in your tracks, your gaze locked in front of you. "hotch is back?"

sure enough the door to his office was open, the lights on. the blinds were still drawn, but you could make out his silhouette behind them, seated at his desk. no, it was too soon.

"he's back." she confirmed, a sigh escaping her lips. "he got here about an hour ago.

"but it's been..." you stammered, shaking your head as you voiced your thoughts. "it's too soon."

"good luck telling him that," penelope's voice lowered softly, a sorrowfulness falling overtop, "but maybe, this is just what he needs."

silence fell overtop of you, your mind spinning. the past few days, what had happened was the talk of the bullpen, meaning everyone's opinions were surfacing. some believed hotch wouldn't come back, on account of jack. some believed he would at some point, in a matter of months, maybe even years. it was common knowledge that strauss had gone to talk to him, but the outcome of the conversation was unknown. would she tell him not to come back? would she convince him not to if he were merely questioning it?

it didn't make sense, but it made complete sense. of course, he would return. this was him, this was who he was. but you couldn't bring yourself to understand.

"is he okay?" you quietly wondered aloud, your voice being nearly drowned out by all the other sounds in the room. you knew she wouldn't have the answer, no one did, except the person you were referring to. and what did he believe? did he even think he was? was he actually ever going to be?

"i don't know, i really don't." she sighed, "but... he and haley were separated for a while, maybe... i don't know. maybe he doesn't need much time."

the spitting image of hotch gazing at haley filled your mind, almost taking you by surprise from the abruptness.

you could only shake your head at penelope's words, placing your belongings down.

no, you didn't believe that for a second. you refused to.

[jtl-fics]

One of the other Time Travel fic ideas that lives in my head rent free STARTS very very sad but then quickly moves onto sheer hilarity. I thought of most of it while listening to New Kings by Sleeping Wolf.

It starts with Wymack’s funeral and all of the Foxes are grown up and off living their professional lives. They’re all gutted that their Exy dad has passed away and it is all sorts of unreal that he’s gone. Abby’s driving them all in the old Fox travel bus to go to the burial as a sort of an ode to their importance in Wymack’s life (he had other teams he was close to but nothing will really compete with his most problematic team, he always loved them the most even if he denied it until his dying breath)

Except, in true time travel/world travel/etc. fashion, they get T-boned on their way to the burial and the ‘Miracle Team’ of Foxes all die there.

And then they wake back up and it’s disorienting because they’re still on a bus but they were pretty sure they were hurt a lot worse than they are now. Then Wymack’s voice is loud and concerned asking everyone is okay.

He looks just like how he did back when they were in college but when they all take a look around, they all also look exactly like they had in college too. Andrew is on the court mandated drugs, Seth is alive, Kevin’s hand is still healing from Riko crushing it, and Neil isn’t there.

Kevin, Dan, and Abby barrel into Wymack and it quickly becomes apparent that this Wymack is also the Wymack who had died 20 years later. Meanwhile Andrew is not handling being back on the drugs well at all, especially when Neil is not around.

He’s freaking out that at this point (the beginning of the spring season) Neil is all alone in Millport. He wants to go right now and get his Junkie and there’s the question of whether or not Neil even remembers because Wymack is pretty sure it takes a hard whack to the head or some sort of shock to remember. Wymack took an errant ball to the head the week after the ‘skiing accident’ that Kevin suffered.

Andrew wants to go right now and he’s fine with re-enacting his first meeting with this Neil if it means he’ll get his Neil back. Wymack promises that they’ll go and they’ll do everything they need to get Neil back. Even if Neil doesn’t remember anything then Andrew will keep him close and keep him safe because FUCK there are so many dangers to Neil’s life again.

Wymack and the rest of the Foxes also work on getting Andrew cleared to start going off of his medicine with the enthusiastic support from Betsy. They won’t put Andrew in Easthaven again but manage to get him into an outpatient program that Abby will oversee once they get Neil because Neil’s the only one that Andrew trusts to be with him and see him like that.

They get to Millport two days after the bus accident and Hernandez had sent Neil’s reel and his belief that Neil was a runaway and Wymack had said he was going to come down at some point to talk with him but the other coach hadn’t really heard from Wymack since then so he’s surprised to have Wymack, Kevin Day and some manic blond show up.

It’s pretty awkward to explain that the Ravens came and offered Neil a full scholarship a week prior to be a sub Striker with the Ravens. That Riko Moriyama himself came and offered it to him. Andrew and Kevin look like they’re going to pass out until Hernandez says that Neil had said no and he’d ran off immediately after and Hernandez hasn’t seen him since he ran away from Riko Moriyama a week prior.

Neil’s in the wind.

He might not even be Neil anymore.

Andrew is catatonic, Kevin is hardly any better, and the rest of the Foxes don’t know if Neil running was better than having Neil as a Raven.

It doesn’t make any sense on why Riko would be offering a place with the Ravens to Neil let alone why he’d offer the Striker position.

It’s Aaron, barely managing to hold Andrew together as his brother refuses to start the rehab until Neil is with him, who offers the idea that they’re not the only ones who came back. Riko had also died, he could have come back and Neil was part of his imagined perfect court he could have gone to get him for that or even just to ruin the chance of Neil being around for the Foxes because the sight of a Moriyama would have sent Neil running.

It’s a month later and Andrew’s ready to drop out of college to start hunting down Neil until a phone call comes and it’s Hernandez letting them know that Neil had shown back up at his house and asked if he could stay for a little bit. Neil was bruised and bloodied but wouldn’t say what had happened to him.

Andrew and Wymack are the two who go this time. Kevin has a history test that he can’t skip and Andrew wants to be in Millport immediately. They come up on coach Hernandez’s house to find Neil climbing out of a side window from a bathroom looking terrible and Andrew is getting ready to smack him in the gut but Neil turns and sees him and, “Drew?” comes out of his mouth before he can think better of it.

What follows is an explanation of what happened. Why he ran. Where he’d been the last month. One of Riko’s thugs hit him pretty hard to get him to agree to sign on as a Raven and that knocked Neil’s memories back into his head. He needed to get away from Riko and he had no idea that he wasn’t the only one who had come back so he’d thought he had time before the Foxes came to Millport. He went off and he killed Drake first and foremost and then set a trap for the worst of his father’s men, including Lola that left 6 dead and one alive only long enough to beg for mercy that Neil didn’t have for the woman who would play tic-tac-toe with a dashboard lighter on his arms.

Andrew cannot be separated from Neil after that. They make plans that Neil will be completing his high school education in Palmetto. Neil is 18 so he can transfer himself out and Neil’s address is Abby’s house but he doesn’t spend a single night there aside from the time spent getting Andrew off of his drugs.

The Foxes finish out their season quite well after their accident. Most of the graduating players and Seth are confused by the changes in their teammates after the crash, especially why everyone is so visibly relieved when some skinny kid from Arizona comes in and why the terrifying freshman has clung onto him so fiercely.

The Foxes have plans for the next year. There’s no need for them to ‘come together’ the way they had the first time because even Seth has chilled out now that Kevin is doing more than just bitching that they’re not enough (he’s had years to actually get good at coaching).

They’re going to make the world recognize them again.

[daisyvisions]

please elaborate on the free use thoughts im a big fan -🍓

phew.. okay here it goes (mind you this is one of my OT11 ideas but just a thought I never actually wrote it):

Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), mentions of poly! acts, sexual favors, etc.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

imagine one of your friends is from tbz (let's say Kevin) who happens to come from a frat house called TBZ. You find out eventually that the frat house is going to start accepting girls so you ask Kevin if you could join. So one day you're invited to have a lil chat with their president Sangyeon to discuss certain responsibilities about being the founding member for the sorority counterpart.

But the moment you step foot in the house... all the other members can't seem to stop staring at you, quietly cursing Kevin on the side on why he'd never mentioned being friends with a literal goddess.

And during your chat with Sangyeon he couldn't seem to concentrate at all, getting lost in your eyes as you would look at him while you talked. Or how some of them like Chanhee and Younghoon would try to lightly touch your arm, shoulders, etc., How Eric would ask you some rather... personal questions during dinner.

And when you leave all the members gather to literally gush about you. But eventually they have to get into the business of how your initiation will go (you're entering a frat / sorority after all).

Kevin doesn't know who brought it up (most likely Sunwoo & Hyunjae), but your initiation would be a bit different...

Let's just say they all agreed that instead of the traditional hazing they've all gone through... you'd have to pass a series of tests that each member will give you and well... these tests? they're in the realm of sexual acts and favors 😏

Just think: getting spanked, seeing how far you can go without coming, making a member come quick, letting another member kiss you all over, surviving being edged for hours, riding a member's face, being sandwiched between two members, etc.

And because the older members will use their "older member" privileges, the series of tests will go by youngest to eldest of course!

In short? Yeah, a series of "tests" to see if you're really fit to be part of their house that's all. Nothing too harmful and well... is quite pleasurable on both ends 😮‍💨

[sofreddie]

The Lion's Den - Part 9

Characters: Dean x F!Reader x Sam, Crowley

Warnings: SMUT, Rope Bondage, Threesome, BDSM, Sir Kink, Spitroasting, Double Penetration, Oral Sex, Fluff

KINK: ROPE BUNNY (@anyfandomkinkbingo)

WC: 4170

A/N: Took a million years to work on this series. Feel like I'm crawling across the finish line with this one. Perfectionism hit hard and at some point, you just have to sit and write and let it go. But I feel I'm finally happy with it and happy to wrap it all up. Anywho…on to the BIG FINISH!

Series Masterlist

Part 8

Y/N woke up, groaning when she found the other side of the bed empty. She sat up against the headboard, wiping the sleep from her eyes. It had been a few weeks since Crowley presented her with his proposal and just a week since the paperwork had been signed and finalized. In that time, she spent most of her nights staying over at Crowley's lavish penthouse.

She had given notice at her company but had a gap until the Partnership would take effect. So she found herself with an abundance of time and nothing to do. A vacation - or staycation, as Crowley put it - wasn't something she'd ever really had. If she wasn't working, she filled her time with things to help forward her career path.

Truth be told, she hated it. She was bored out of her mind and her restlessness was creating an itch under her skin. Crowley had even made a passing joke about it, having free time making her grumpy.

On top of it all, Crowley was busy with business which kept him away most of the time. She didn't blame him, rather she was lousy with jealousy. She missed being busy.

Her phone chimed on the nightstand and she practically dove for it, almost hoping it was something business-related. It was a message from Crowley, but it still made her smile. She couldn't wrap her head around this giddy little girl feeling she got when it came to him. She wanted to be disgusted at herself, but the twitter-patted little girl wouldn't be deterred.

Meet me at the Den, I have a gift for you. XXX

Crowley. The Den. A gift? She practically hopped from the bed to the bathroom, getting herself ready for whatever Crowley had in store.

The Den was a welcome escape after the past few weeks. Crowley had spent as much time as he could with her since their first time together. She hadn't had the time, or occasion, to return but she was certainly glad to be back. It was a haven for her, a place where she could let go and relax, not have to think but only feel.

She was warmly greeted by each staff member as she passed, though quite a few were missing, she assumed with clients elsewhere. She was starting to feel more at home, less like a client and part of the family. She hoped to get to know all of Crowley's staff better over time, especially since she would be taking up VP of his enterprise. These were her people now, too.

As usual, Kevin found her before she had even seen him amongst the crowd. She followed him to Crowley's table, said man's eyes lighting up as she drew closer.

"My Love," he greeted, kissing the back of her hand and excusing Kevin. He ushered her into the booth, her favorite drink already waiting for her. "How have you been enjoying your alone time?"

"It is terrible that I can't wait to get back to work?" she huffed with a smirk.

He chuckled in understanding, "I know, Love. Just a few more days to finalize everything. I've already been compiling plenty that requires your attention."

Her eyes lit up, Crowley always knowing just the right things to say and do to please her immeasurably. He understood her and shared her passions, and it only made her more and more sure of their partnership.

"In celebration of the signing of our agreement, I have a gift for you. A sort of 'welcome to the family' if you will," he smiled warmly at her. "You've been so tense, so restless. So I've arranged for a very special treat for you, the very best, top dollar."

Taking her by the hand he led her to the familiar staircase. She hadn't walked the steps in quite a while, the familiarity of it all making her heart race in anticipation. The last time Crowley had a gift for her, she experienced Gabriel and the Sybian. It was an amazing, unforgettable experience and Crowley always seemed to know just what she needed, better than she did herself.

He led her down the hall of rooms but passed by each that she was familiar with, stopping at the very last at the end of the hall. He paused with his hand on the knob, smirking at her.

"Are you open-minded tonight, my Love?"

"Absolutely," she grinned, the nervousness and fear that she used to feel gone, replaced by eagerness and trust in those around her.

Crowley let the door swing wide, ushering her inside from behind with his hands on her hips. It was a large and ornate room, a huge poster bed dominating the middle of the room. It was a lot like his office, but a bedroom. There were various furniture pieces, a few hanging swings and other playthings.

But what took her breath away was the sight of both Sam and Dean standing by either post at the end of the bed, wearing only loose hanging pants, their torsos and feet bare. They both flashed her a mischievous smirk, licking and biting their lips in turn as they eyed her hungrily.

"As I said before," Crowley spoke into her ear, his hands wandering over her hips, "You've been so tense. There have been many changes in your life, many adjustments. You're wound so tight, My Love."

She hummed in agreement, her head lolling back on his shoulder as his hands and lips teased her, riling her up for what was to come.

"You need to be broken, ripped apart, so you can rise and move forward, leaving the ache and tension and worry behind you," he whispered as he kissed along her neck and shoulder, his hands still teasing over her hips and thighs. She rolled her hips back into his, her eyes on the other two men.

Sam was biting his lip, his eyes taking in every detail of her body, every way she responded to touch. Dean was watching with a predatory gaze, fidgeting with a bit of rope in his hands. It made her clench her thighs, all three men chuckling as they took notice.

"Are you willing to be their playmate, my Love?" She nodded emphatically, swooning at the thought. Crowley gently pushed her forward, Dean stepping up to take her into his arms, turning her so she now faced Crowley, her back to his chest.

"She may be your Mistress now," Crowley spoke to Sam and Dean. "But at the moment, she belongs to you." He smirked as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

"You hear that?" Sam asked as he walked to stand in front of her, his fingers under her chin to lift her gaze to his. "You belong to us."

"You want that?" Dean asked, rutting himself against her ass, kissing along her neck.

"Yes," she breathed out in desperation. She had loved her time with each of them. It was rough and different and fantastic. Having both beautiful brothers together, to use her however they saw fit, seemed like exactly what she needed.

Sam gripped her chin a little tighter, forcing her attention on him. "You will call me Sir," Sam corrected. "You may call him Dean."

"Yes, Sir," she nodded, her legs going weak as she was overwhelmingly aroused, Dean's grip tightening to hold her upright between the two large men.

"We discussed it and we have a plan," he continued. "We would like to tie you up, have you restrained and open for us. Would you like that?"

"Yes, Sir," she moaned as Dean began to strip off her clothes very slowly, hips lips trailing along her neck and shoulders as he did so. They had thought about this, with her. How long had Crowley been planning this? Or was this something they planned themselves? Either way, it amped her arousal up to new and unfamiliar levels.

"Also, I am in charge. Neither you nor Dean will do anything, including cum, without my permission. Understood?"

Fuck. She was gonna die from dehydration at the rate she was slicking up. She had to be dreaming, but the sudden pinch of her nipple by Dean let her know it was all very real.

"Y-yes, Sir," she responded, gasping as Dean's fingers slid between her folds.

"Fuck, Sam, she's so damn wet already."

"You really are so perfect," Sam praised, making her swoon once more. He grinned, loving her reactions. "Use your colors, okay?"

She nodded, gasping as Dean slid two fingers into her core, making her choke on her response to Sam.

"Dean," Sam took on a commanding tone, "Get the rope, help me dress her up for us."

Dean nodded and Sam guided Y/N back to the bed, letting her fall back onto its plush and inviting surface.

In a seemingly choreographed synchronicity, the brothers moved in tandem, securing rope and harness to bind her as they pleased. Their hands teased as they secured the various knots, their lips teasing over her skin, nipping and licking, making her squirm in desperation.

In a matter of minutes, they were complete, standing back to look over their handiwork. A sort of harness was fashioned around her torso, the rope outlining and lightly squeezing around her breasts. She was face down, ass up on the bed. Her arms were secured behind her back, her calves tied to her thighs, and her body posed in a hogtie, open and on display for the two gorgeous men.

"Fuck," Dean cursed, his voice laced thick with arousal. "Knew you'd look good in rope."

Y/N smirked, thinking back on her time with him when he had spoken those words to her. She squirmed, testing her binds, finding little to no give. She wasn't scared, knowing they would take good care of her and stop anytime she needed.

"Color, Y/N," Sam commanded.

"Green, Sir," she cooed. Her pussy clenched in anticipation, feeling how wet she was already as the cool air of the room hit her exposed folds.

With her ass in the air and her face smashed into the sheets, she could only hear as they shuffled around the room behind her, the sound of rustling clothing and shuffling feet letting her know they were getting ready for her. Her breathing picked up with excitement. The bed dipped as she lifted her gaze enough to see Sam settling at the head of the bed, knees bent and hard cock hanging between his legs, but just out of reach - not that she could reach out to him in her bound state. She moaned at the sight, her breath hitching as she felt Dean's hands grazing over her thighs and hips.

"We've been dying to get our hands on you again, you know that?" Sam asked as he languidly stroked his cock, her eyes glued, absentmindedly licking her lips, her mouth watering at the sight. Dean hummed in agreement from behind her. "So responsive, soft, wet…best damn pussy we've had in a long time. And that's saying something," he added with a smirk.

"Loved having you restrained and spread for me. Just like this," Dean spoke, his lips ghosting over the skin of her backside and thighs, teasing and working her up without even really doing anything.

"Mmmm," Sam hummed in agreement. "So many things I still want to do," Sam added ominously.

"Sam," Dean's voice croaked as he squeezed her flesh a little tighter. "Wanna taste her. Please?"

Something about Dean asking his brother's permission - begging to taste her - made her hot all over, an involuntary shiver running through her. Sam's long fingers tucked under her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his eyes.

"Wanna watch your face while Dean eats you out," he whispered, his filthy words igniting her further. "You should see how hungry he looks. Do you want him to taste you?"

"Yes," she responded breathily. Sam's tsk made her pout.

"Yes, what?" He corrected, pinching her chin a little more firmly. His commanding tone had her pussy clenching around nothing.

"Yes, Sir," she amended, purring under his approving hum.

"Go ahead, Dean," Sam encouraged with a nod. "Show her how good you are with that mouth of yours."

Dean responded with a desperate groan. A second later, she felt his tongue spear her open, licking against her eager walls. Dean's hands spread her cheeks wide, her dampened folds glistening in the light of the room. His noisy slurping, grunts, and groans had her breath stuttering, her hips attempted to grind back into him but she couldn't move.

Dean certainly knew how to use his mouth, bringing her to the quickest orgasm of her life, her moans and breath bouncing off Sam's face as he held her chin and gaze steady.

"Dean, stop," Sam's commanding voice spoke. Dean immediately stopped leaving Y/N bereft of his touch, her soaked folds catching the chill in the air. Her eyes met Sam's intense gaze and she knew she was in trouble. Her pussy clenched at the thought. "Do you know what you did wrong?" he asked, still holding her chin firmly in his grasp.

"I-" she worked her dry mouth, wiggling in her bindings. "-I came without permission."

"You did," he confirmed. "Now you'll be punished so you remember the rules," he smirked, releasing her chin.

She lay limp on the bed, her ass still in the air, as she watched Sam move from the bed. Dean slid into his place, leaning against the headboard and watching with a broad grin.

"I'm going to spank you," Sam spoke, his hand caressing her ass cheeks. "I want you to count."

"Yes, Sir."

She was wetter than she had ever been in her life. As his hand came down for the first smack, she yelped in surprise before moaning wantonly. With each smack she counted, her moans increased in volume. By the time he was done, her ass was red and sore, pulsing with heat, adding to her ever-growing need for more.

"So beautiful," Sam praised, leaning in to peck her lips. "Such a good girl for us."

"T-thank you, Sir."

Dean moved away, leaving her missing his touch immediately. Sam's chuckle had her turning her gaze to him once more.

"Dean's going to fuck you first," Sam explained, rising to his knees in front of her. "I want that mouth on me," he declared, stroking himself and licking his lips as he stared at her mouth.

The thought of being impaled between them, the two of them using her for their pleasure had her damn near cumming again. She was repositioned, now facing Sam where he stood at the end of the bed. She could feel Dean shifting behind her, getting into position. Her body clenched in anticipation over and over.

"Y-es!" she exclaimed, her voice broken as Dean suddenly thrust deep within her, holding still and squeezing her hips as she adjusted. Her mouth hung open and Sam took the opportunity to run his cock along her lips before slipping into her hot and wet mouth.

Using the rope that bound her for leverage, Dean pulled her back into his every thrust, letting him hit deeper and harder than she'd felt before. Sam fucked her mouth and throat, seeming to know when she needed air and when she could swallow him down. Though Sam was so big she was struggling to take more than half, but she was determined. Sam didn't seem to mind, using her mouth for his own pleasure, his intense eyes studying her every move, his ears tuned into her every sound. She relaxed a little, despite the tension building in her body and core, knowing they would take care of her. She had no reason to worry about anything except absolute pleasure.

"Fuck! So fucking good," Dean groaned, his hips slapping hard against her ass again and again. He was struggling to maintain control himself, his eyes glued to his cock sliding in and out of her soaked pussy. She clenched particularly hard around him and he let out a drawn-out groan, his head rolling back on his shoulders.

Feeling herself growing close, she pulled back off of Sam, her mouth hung open as she tried to get herself to form words. "P-please," she whined, her breath broken by every hard thrust Dean gave, his own moans driving her further. She wasn't sure she could hold off her climax much longer. "Please. Sir," she gasped, looking up at Sam through her lashes as Dean continued to pound her ruthlessly from behind. "Please let me come."

"Dean, stop," Sam commanded, Dean immediately stopped his thrusts and pulled from within her core, leaving her to gasp out in disappointment and loss.

In a flash, she was flipped on her back with her legs spread and arms tucked behind and under her forcing her to arch her back, her breasts bound and exposed, perked up by the angle and the bindings. Dean positioned her head in his lap, cradling her face and smiling down at her. She turned her head, wanting to get her lips around his hard shaft that still glistened with her arousal.

"No," Sam rebuked, gently slapping her inner thigh for emphasis and turning her attention back to him. "You already got him so worked up," Sam teased the two of them. "He's got no control with you," Sam smirked, Dean uttering 'bitch' under his breath.

"But you do?" she breathlessly teased, smirking when Sam's gaze grew darker.

"He's always in control," Dean responded, leaning over her to catch her gaze again. She was distracted by Sam's hands roaming her thighs and avoiding her most intimate areas, but Dean held her gaze on him. "It's kind of annoying," he added, making her chuckle.

It amazed her how they could still be playful brothers with her bound and open and merely a plaything between them. It made the whole thing feel less sordid and more…fun. Like friends just having a good time, hanging out, fucking each other senseless.

"You ready for more?" Sam teased, lowering his head to kiss along her breastbone, his fingers still teasing over her skin, raising goosebumps.

"Yes, Sir," she crooned effortlessly, her eyes fluttering closed as his lips wrapped around a nipple.

"So beautiful," Dean praised, his hands gathering her breasts and pinching her nipples when Sam moved away.

Sam grabbed her hips, placing her ass on his thighs. Rubbing the head along her folds and bumping against her clit, he covered himself in her juices before entering her in one smooth and harsh thrust. She cried out at the sudden intrusion, not painful but surprising.

"Color," Sam demanded through clenched teeth, holding himself still and deep.

"G-Green," she cried out, trying to wiggle her hips for friction but having zero give between her bindings and the two glorious men.

Dean's eyes left hers to trail down her body, stopping where Sam penetrated her. She allowed her eyes to follow the same path, finding herself split wide open by his impressive girth. It made her gasp and Sam chuckled in response. Holding her hips tight in his large hands he pulled nearly all the way out before slamming himself back home again. Sam fucked her slow but deep and hard, watching her breasts bounce with every thrust.

"Damn, that's hot," Dean spoke, watching Sam thrust deep within her again and again, her body firm in his hold. "Love seeing women take that monster," he chuckled, looking down at Y/N in his lap, his gaze growing darker. "Never seen anyone take every last inch though."

She moaned as Sam adjusted and hit a spot within her that had her seeing stars. Dean sucked two of his fingers into his mouth, saturating them in his spit. With a wicked grin and his eyes locked on hers, he moved his hands to her folds, his fingers landing either side of her clit. He began to gently massage, testing her reaction as Sam increased his pace, lifting on his knees to spear her harder and deeper. Her hips held tight in his capable hands she squeezed her eyes shut tight against the onslaught of sensations coursing through her. Careering towards her climax at an alarming rate, her eyes popped open in urgency.

"Please! Sir, Dean…I'm gonna-"

Dean's hand disappeared and Sam stilled his hips. She whined and tried to wriggle against him but could barely move, her walls clenching against Sam's cock repeatedly. Four hands helped move her, sitting her upright in Sam's lap, still impaled on his thick cock. His hands cocooned her against him as he peppered her neck and chest with kisses, silently urging her to calm down.

"Not yet," Sam whispered, wiping the sweaty strands of hair from her brow. "Dean and I are gonna fuck you together now," he spoke, Dean's hands reappearing as he teased at her back entrance.

Before he could ask, her eyes were rolling back in her head as she groaned, "Green."

The brothers chuckled as Sam returned to his calming ministrations, gently rocking himself into her. Dean's fingers returned, now with what felt like lube, as he breached her rear entrance, prepping her to take them both. She wiggled in Sam's lap, growing impatient and desperate to cum but held off by the capable, infuriating, and incredibly sexy men.

"Please," she begged as she tried to squirm again. "I'm ready. Want you both."

She went still as Dean worked himself inside her. She felt stretched to her limits, every nerve ending on fire as they were both finally settled within her.

"You okay?"

"Yes Sir, Dean," she moaned, her eyes opening to lock onto Sam's.

With the same synchronicity they showed while tying her in rope, they moved in tandem, fucking her deep and fast, her body held tight between them as they worked to bring them all to an end.

"Fuck, you're so hot," Sam groaned. "Didn't get to see your face when you came for me last time," he continued, glancing down at where he fucked into her and biting his lip, meeting her eyes again. "Dying to see you come undone for me."

She was absolutely floored at their stamina. No wonder they were the most requested of all the males on offer at the Den.

"She's fucking stunning," Dean growled from behind her, his hips picking up pace, cock throbbing with his impending release. "Her eyes roll back, her skin gets flushed, her whole body tenses, and she makes this high-pitched keening sound like she's just winding up too far until she snaps."

"Fuck," Sam groaned. "That sound!"

They both fucked her harder, chasing her release more than their own. She was surprised that their talking about her in such a way only wound her up more. She clenched hard, feeling herself climbing to that crescendo much as Dean described.

"There it is," Sam and Dean spoke in unison as Y/N's voice began to hitch higher and higher, her muscles tight in anticipation of her release.

"Not gonna last," Dean huffed, his cock throbbing and twitching hard with every brutal thrust.

"Fuck, me either," Sam's eyes rolled back as he thrust harder. "Go on then," Sam commanded. "Cum."

As if waiting for the words, Y/N and Dean came together. Dean ground hard into her as she shook in their arms, a scream tearing from her throat. Sam growled as he came, her squirting and quivering pussy too much and too good for him to hold out any longer. Her body was spent, her energy drained with the most powerful orgasm she'd ever felt. She was only vaguely aware as they pulled from within her and laid her back on the bed.

Eyes closed, catching her breath, Y/N could only hear and feel as they worked to remove the rope from her body. They gently straightened out her limbs, massaging the aching muscles. A sweet smell reached her and she felt the coolness of the balm as they soothed her sore and well-fucked body.

"You were so good, Sweetheart," she heard Dean's voice, his breath fanning over her neck. Her eyes fluttered open and she was met with stunning green, an amused smile on his lips. "How're you doin'?"

"Floating," she managed, feeling the dopey grin that spread on her face.

They continued to massage and soothe her, cleaning up her body, sitting her up to drink water, and praising her repeatedly. God, the aftercare alone was worth the cost. Sitting back against the headboard she let her eyes roam over the brothers, both laid out along the ends of the bed, admiring her right back.

"Thank you," Dean spoke, lifting her hand and kissing the back of it. "For being our playmate."

She grinned and turned to Sam when he took her hand, kissing it the same. "And welcome to our little family," he grinned with a glint in his eyes, "Mistress."

TAGS:

FOREVERS:

@lyarr24

@hobby27

@kazsrm67

@maliburenee

@440mxs-wife

@writercole

@spnbaby-67

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@leigh70

@laycblack

DEAN WINCHESTER:

@slamminmine

@deandreamernp

@awkward-and-indecisive

@akshi8278

@mimaria420

SAM WINCHESTER:

@b3autyfuldisast3r

[reasonablerodents]

Just in case it breaks your writing dry spell, there's been a terrible lack of NYE hotchreid fics, and I'm here to humbly request that you fix this with a short nye bau party/night out and everyone paired up for their nye kiss except hotch and spencer…

This is very true!!!! And somehow this DID break my writing dry spell bc I’m somehow actually happy with how this turned out???? (And okay….It’s not short)

Thank you!!!

Good Fortune (G)

Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Fluff, New Year’s Kisses

They’re all partnered up these days. Penelope has Kevin, Emily and JJ have been together for God knows how long, Derek’s in the early days with a woman named Savannah, and Dave? Well, he may not be officially dating anyone, but he met a woman at the bar a few hours earlier, and the two seem to be getting on very well.

That just leaves him and Spencer.

If Aaron was a braver man, he would have asked Spencer out years ago. But his head is too full of regulations and boss/employee power dynamics and- okay, the main reason he hasn’t done anything after all this time is because he’s scared. Rejection always hurt, but being rejected by Spencer would surely feel far worse than if it was from anyone else. Besides, they already had a perfectly good- albeit platonic- relationship; there was no reason to ruin it by acting inappropriately.

Aaron sneaks a glance to the left, where Spencer is stood next to him and staring into the crowded bar, one hand idly gripping a half-finished drink. He seems to be people-watching, and Aaron can’t get over how beautiful he is like this; unknowingly poised like a painting, the dim light softly illuminating the curve of his lips and angular planes of his face. Spencer’s eyes are wide and glittering, drinking in the revelry instead of his cocktail.

“Not long until midnight, pretty boy,” Derek laughs as he and Savannah pass by on their way back to the bar, playfully tapping Spencer on the shoulder to get his attention. “You’ll have to be quick if you wanna sort out a New Year’s kiss!”

Spencer makes a move as if to splutter an indignant reply, but Derek’s already turning to Aaron with a trademark smile. “You too, man. Even you’ve got to let loose a little on New Years. I’d offer my services to you both, but I’m really hoping Savannah will give me the honour tonight.”

Savannah giggles, wrapping an arm around Derek’s waist. “Well, we’ll just have to see what happens come midnight- your chances might be better if you get me the drink you promised me, though.”

“Anything for you,” Derek replies, gently lifting her free hand and pressing a chaste kiss to it like a Victorian gentleman. “Forget a glass of wine, I’ll get you the whole bottle.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

With that, they depart. Aaron watches them a little wistfully as they squeeze their way through the crowd, always keeping a hand on one another. He’s nothing but happy for Derek’s budding romance, of course, but he can’t help but wish that he could have something like that as well.

“I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss.”

Spencer’s soft voice from his left makes him turn back around.

“No?” Aaron says, trying and failing not to think too deeply about Spencer’s lips.

“No. Relationships haven’t historically been my strong point, so there’s never been anyone around to offer me one. I suppose I could find a random person, but if someone’s going to be orally swapping bacteria with me, even for a few seconds, I’d prefer to know them a little first.”

Aaron takes a sip of his whisky. “I haven’t in a long time, so you’re not alone.”

“I know. I’ve spent the last four New Years with you,” Spencer replies matter-of-factly, before darting off on a tangent. “Did you know, kissing at midnight is actually an old Scottish tradition? Hogmanay was introduced when the Vikings invaded, and one part of the celebrations involves welcoming friends and strangers alike, which apparently involves kissing them.”

“No, I didn’t. I guess I’ve never thought about where it came from.”

“Another tradition is First-Footing, although it’s definitely not as commonly practiced around here. The first person to enter the house should be a dark-haired man to ensure good luck. He’s supposed to bring gifts with him, such as coins, coal, or whisky, it can vary slightly regionally, I think. You’d be a good first-footer, I reckon- I mean, you’ve already got the whisky.”

“And the hair, I guess.”

“Mmm. Tall, dark, and handsome.”

Aaron’s glad he hadn’t just taken another sip of his drink, because after hearing Spencer use those words to describe him, he certainly would have spat it out in shock. He can feel his cheeks growing warm, and is incredibly glad of how dark it is in the bar. Spencer's very observant though, so it’s almost certain he’s already noticed Aaron’s flustered reaction however much he tries to hide it.

Before he can work out how to reply to that, a deafening shout ripples across the room.

“Ten!”

Spencer’s not just looking at Aaron in general any more, he’s looking into his eyes. His gaze flickers downwards as the countdown continues- oh God, is Spencer looking at his lips? Aaron finds himself setting his glass down as he unconsciously inches closer, barely daring to breathe.

“Six!”

Is this going to- surely not? But Spencer’s own lips are slightly parted now, his glass abandoned as well.

“Four!”

It’s only seconds, but each one feels like eons. The countdown fades slightly as Aaron’s heartbeat fills his ears.

“One!”

Aaron takes a deep breath, and before he can even make a move, the clock strikes midnight and Spencer leans in and kisses him.

It feels exactly like the fireworks that are going off outside.

[stick-ball]

I was asked to write some of my sad headcanons on Jean and Kevin's relationship by @thelittlelostgraycat so here we go:

The first thing that comes to mind when I think about this dynamic is this really silly scenario. Doing grocery shopping, you have this great idea. You're going to make crepes for breakfast the next day. It's the weekend after a really long week, and you're feeling like having something nice, you know. So you stock up on all the ingredients. But then when it comes to it you stayed up late that night, binging your currently favourite series, and you get up later than usual and you're not really in the mood to stand in front of the pan for half an hour before you get to eat something. So, dismayed or not, you kill off the hunger with something quick and easy and get on with the day's plans. Then the next week comes and since you work long hours obviously you don't have the time for it either. By the time you remember, you really wanted to eat pancakes some time has passed. But you're excited again because that's what we are like with the things we love. The joy is always there even when we aren't doing those things. So you go take the pan out, the flour and bowl. You open the fridge and see you only have one egg left. That's a problem. You forgot to stock up, but well. It's still possible to make pancakes with one egg. You'll just have thinner batter. Then you get lit the milk and here's the problem, it expired. The dismay is pretty monumental for such a small tragedy. You taste it, just to make sure, and yeah, it's terrible you feel like retching. And the thing is, you could still make the pancakes. You could run to the store, but it was never really about being hungry. It was about the sentiment, and now you remember how if you made them in the first place, this wouldn't happen, and you wasted a whole carton of milk on a fancy you couldn't even commit to.

And that's how I see Kevin and Jean. It's love and it's sentiment and it's something really deep. But when push comes to shove it's always too little, too late. Too little words said, an apology wasted on a cold argument. Too much hassle, too much risk, too much grief if it goes wrong. Let's leave things as they are. It's not good but it'd stable. Too little time, between Riko and training and the dreams of freedom and illusions of grandour and the pain, all that pain and gore. It all ends up coming first.

But there's love, and I don't necessarily mean it as romantic love, although it could be. There's love, there's a whole language built around it. It's words of affirmation in a language no one else can understand. It's small tokens of care, small enough not to be put to an end by someone else, but meaningful enough to make the heart soar like they can touch the blue sky above the tomb they grew up in. It's stolen moments of peace, because both their hearts are for once free of worry when it's just the two of them together - noone there to harm them, noone to make them watch as the other suffers. It's time spent practising, not because they aren't good enough, but because when it's them they can freely love the sport they play. It's a shoulder to lean on and a body that keeps you warm, and that will never take more what you offer it.

But it's always too little and too late to grow into something defined. It's a safe chrysalis that makes the caterpillar endure, but there's no surety, no promises. As much as the chrysalis helps, the caterpillar transform, thr butterfly has to break out of it to fly. So no, it's not enough to last.

They care deeply for each other, but Kevin leaves Jean in the Nest. And Jean could hate him, could resent him, but he doesn't - because he understands when you have a chance you need to take it because life is cruel and it doesn't smile at you twice. He understands that he would probably do the same. It still hurts.

I think Kevin doesn't have many regrets bigger than leaving Jean behind. He still does it, though. But if he didn't, the story wouldn't happen. If he didn't, the whole chain reaction would not be set in motion, so he can't fix it, but he can be better from there on. He starts by getting Jean to a place as far from the Nest as humanly possible. In the hands of the person he holds in the highest esteem.

And that's fear, but that's also love.

Jean's new Jersey number is a 29 for both Kevin and Renee. So I think he understands, I think he doesn't hold a grudge. He starts to pick up his phone and sometimes even calls him himself, even if to trashtalk the team he knows Kevin is also watching play back in his dorm in Palmetto right now.

So they couldn't commit to it then, when there was nothing to lean on. But would it really be too little too late?

[mysticbeaver]

Your opinion on all the side characters? Or what you like or dislike in each of them?

Thanks for the ask, and it's a long one! Nice for a change. Let's see...

- Jonny 2x4 - one of the characters I'm guilty of neglecting... But I think he's a fun, quirky kid (even when he's supposed to be annoying). I remember when I first watched Dear Ed (where he got in a fight with Plank) the scene at the playground made me sad for him. It seems to me there's not much Jonny fanart here on tumblr compared to how Plank and him are considered icons of the show elsewhere. That's probably what makes some like me less interested in the character... I hardly react to pics of real Plank IRL, sorry Plank fans 😅

- Sarah - she's fun... c'mon! Again, non-tumblr fans are on a different planet, the hate boners people have for a 6-7(?) year-old character are entertaining... for a while. I love that she's actually intimidating and strong, she ain't just bark and no bite, another less slapstick-focused show would have handled her differently. A lot of people cheer for the scene where Ed shouts at her in Little Ed Blue, cause they want to see her get "just desserts", but I never care about that, I like her for the rabid little princess she is lol. I also like people's headcanons of her treating her brother better as she grows up, and hopefully escaping the unhealthy favoritism from her parents.

- Jimmy -  even more than Sarah, the hate he sometimes gets is really tedious to me... he's always entertaining, especially his "theatre kid" moments, and his squeaky voice borders on "dog frequencies" sometimes haha. The only thing I've found slightly odd is maybe his flaws and negative traits (spoiled, Sarah always has his back, secretly a cunning little bastard) are sometimes given a free pass just because he's queer-coded, maybe? This only ever bothered me exclusively in relation to someone like Kevin being written off instead, but this my own bias, just a lighthearted observation (for real tho please tell me if this is a dumb reasoning)

- Nazz - she's the nicest and most well-adjusted "normal" kid around (if you ask me kevin ain't normal haha), but had an unfortunate starting point of "girl all the boys have a crush on", which she was never developed out of, or at least not nearly enough as she should have been. I've read something about the writers struggling to figure out what to do with her, maybe? Can't remember. Some people point out her hidden intelligence, but I think it would also be interesting to explore her negative traits, mainly I see her as slightly two-faced/flighty when it comes to how she interacts with the Eds.

Kevin - oh boy, my sense of this character is probably so skewed... The one character I used to get upset and annoyed about like an idiot, in regards to other people's takes and such, sometimes I resent the fact I ever got fixated on the character... why??? Help 🤣 I guess what torments me is that the viewer was never really meant to like him or find him interesting in any way? and doing otherwise is just a case of "fandom brainrot", I dunno what others think 😵‍💫 His jerk/bully role is definitely handled in more interesting ways than other shows would, there's enough meat to the character I guess it's possible to be invested in headcanons/developments. (or so I convince myself...)

Without getting too rambling, let's just say I love him as much as I'd find it entertaining to see him get incinerated by a flamethrower lmao.

Rolf - my other favorite ofc, and a much more pleasant one lol. Nothing embarrassing about loving this character, for sure. In fact I'm probably guilty of not seeing his flaws, but I guess he can be arrogant, and violent/gross with his traditions, when he could learn to be lenient considering how he's treated with a fair amount of tolerance by the cul-de-sac. But in the end he's just a kid trying to get used to a new land and culture.

Kanker sisters - I never thought much about Lee but my eyes have been opened by the implication that being the oldest one in a tough family/social background kinda excuses a lot of her behavior... But others can analyse this better than me.

I think Marie is the unfortunate middle sister who maybe had the least distinct personality? (beyond her aesthetic hinting at her being a punk chick), thankfully she's got plenty fans (btw her being underdeveloped is more food for thought for marie x nazz/nazzarie 👀...). I haven't got much to say unfortunately, other than my first eene ship was eddmarie exactly because of Marie development.

I'm guilty of seeing May as the most innocent one (certainly thanks to that bit where she cries in Hanky Panky Hullabaloo) and the only Kanker I'm keen on shipping with an Ed (the Ed).

Bro? - well... He serves his purpose haha. And he's got an interesting aesthetic. I do like people being invested in the character and even liking him or imagining a more redemptive interpretation of him. Fans have been able to like much more monstrous characters in fiction, being a Bro fan is no big deal... "I can fix him" sure go ahead! You're a saint 🤣

[ethereal-engene]

just like spring snow | youngjae

pairing: bf!eric x gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst, and slice of life // warnings: mentions of food, dealing with sadness and longing, and depression (not super in depth for the most part) & not really proof-read

summary: A story of coping with Eric’s hiatus and the aftermath. // word count: ~3.5k

note: I know he’s been back for a little while now but wanted to commemorate it in writing because I became a deobi while he was on hiatus and am super happy he’s back! 

They say that distance makes the grow fonder and you agree but that doesn’t mean that the distance doesn’t make you miss them.

You understood why Eric was taking a hiatus and actually helped him decide on it. With everything that happens in the industry, you know it’s not easy to deal with given the myriad of challenges. It made you quite proud that he was doing this.

Of course, you didn’t want him to leave but you knew he’d be back and that it was for the best. He spent a lot of time with you and the members before he officially left for the states. Seeing him off, he cried a lot and told you that he’d still keep in touch. Along with his iconic line of “Always remember Eric loves you” all of the while him saying it with tears streaming down his face.

Wiping them away with your free hand as the other was holding his hand. “I love you too, my love. Don’t forget to text me when you land and don’t worry about me too much. Take care, my lucky clover.” You give him one last tight hug and kiss.

Honestly, you were trying your best not to cry as hard as him. Eric being who he is, noticed that and wanted to stay just so he could give you more comfort. He feels bad but you know if he told you, you’d smack him. Because you don’t want to be the reason why he holds back on getting the much deserved break.

You both know if he stays then it wouldn’t really be the hiatus and break that he worked to set up with the company. So when you two hear an announcement from the speakers about how this is the last call for his flight, you pull away.

Eric kisses you once more but waving goodbye. Once again, the tears from his face start to fall. You wave goodbye and walk away. Knowing that if you turn around, you won’t go back. People would assume that you two were breaking up given all of the crying. Quite the contrary though, yours and his relationship is strong.

This was simply another test of the time and strength of your relationship. And besides you and him both know the real reason behind his hiatus. There’s no bullshit reason as to why he’s doing it.

Anyhow, you had to have one of the other members pick you up from the airport. They tried their best to console you and you appreciate them for it. Jacob, Kevin and Sangyeon were most notably the ones who helped you the most during this moment.

When they dropped you off at your apartment, just as you had given Eric a tight hug, they gave you one just as tight too. If they could, they’d spent the rest of today with you but they had their schedules. Obviously you weren’t going to keep them from that so you told them you’d text them if you needed anything.

Besides you weren’t a stranger to the whole busy schedule they had to follow. Waving them goodbye & thanking them again, you went into your apartment. It felt emptier without Eric’s things taking up tiny spaces.

Taking a deep breath to remind yourself of why this was happening again to ground yourself. Repeating the words “He’s not leaving me, this break is to help him get better.”

In an attempt to soothe these feelings, you decided to clean. But it was quite hard to do so when Eric basically did that before he left so you went to work on your assignments. Unfortunately, even the departure of your love couldn’t stop time for you to work on school.

With time passing by, you and Eric still kept in touch. Whether it was through FaceTimes or text messages. It was always fun to catch up and see what he’s been up to. As well for him to see what you’re doing and the other members.

It can be challenging with the time difference but you two make it work. If you’re lucky enough, you two will video call as you’re working on assignments and him doing his own things. Kind of strange but you’ll take any time you can get to spend with him, even if it’s virtual.

Every so often, when you think about how he’s not currently with you. The tears flow freely down your face. Almost like a never ending stream. Hugging your pillow and wishing it was Eric. Waking up to an empty bed is really when it hurts.

After always being woken up by a kiss from him, you long for the moment; it's no longer a dream but a reality instead. How can a bed feel so cold without the presence of him? It’s like it doesn’t matter how many blankets or layers you have, the breeze will find a way to greet you.

There were some days where you didn’t want to leave the bed or do anything. Hoping that sleeping would take the pain away. When you didn’t respond to text messages coming from everyone, they got worried. As one would.

Eric would send small messages to you when this happens. He knows that you’ll be okay but it definitely hurts him too. Making a mental to shower you in his love and affection when his hiatus is over. In the meantime, may this period of time where you two are apart allow you to still grow with each other.

You just forgot how to live without Eric and it sucked ass. To be in love and a relationship shouldn’t mean you lose total sense of who you are and the life you lived before them. It took a while for you to get back on your feet.

Starting off small by rebuilding your daily routine. Things like setting up what time you’d go in for work, start and finish homework, attend class, and eat your meals. In due time, your mind was occupied with the present and sometimes inevitably floating to Eric.

Wanting to know what he was up to or sharing stories about your day to him. However in the back of your head, you knew that if he wanted to tell you something he would. Eric would not hold back on anything to you. All is good though because you may or may not have been writing in a journal to keep track of all the little and big things you want to tell him. If not a journal then a letter.

It helped you cope with him being away. Making you feel like you’d one day just mail all of these to him as if y’all are two long lost lovers or something. You would be lying if you didn’t think about sending these to him but for some reason, you felt like it was better for him to just have them when he came back. Plus you didn’t want to pay to stamp all of them or didn’t want to flood his mailbox with these.

Another way you worked through this period of time was with the boyz.

Whoever had an off day in the boyz would offer to spend the day with you. Going with places for Chanhee to take pictures. Going to their dorms to play games with Juyeon or watching movies with Sunwoo, Younghoon, Jaehyun and Changmin. And last but not least going to their studio to watch them practice and record for their upcoming songs.

It was super fun to see the creative process behind them building a song. Especially with Jacob and Sunwoo. Seriously super talented and lovely songwriters. If you weren’t spending time with them, you were on campus studying & being a student.

You met up with old friends who attended the same college as you too. Taking the time to build more meaningful relationships with them and sharing stories about your struggles with classes. It felt nice to be able to talk to them about “normal” things.

Lastly, you were also working so that took up a good chunk of your week to focus on. The number of stories that accumulate just from one day at work is crazy. Ranging from horrible customers to hearing juicy stories about the town to playing along with little kids. This would have to be the final piece in cementing back the normalcy you had again.

God, it felt so liberating. Of course, you still missed him but with everything going on, it was easy for it to slip out of your mind. A gentle reminder that with and without Eric, you’re still your own person with dreams and goals.

With the time passing by, and before you knew it. You received the text that you were waiting for this entire time. The text read: “I hope you haven’t been missing me too much but I’ll be home soon. Can’t wait to finally see you again. I love you!!”

It took everything in you not to scream. You re-read it multiple times before calling him. Just to confirm and hear his voice again. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Babe, why would I lie about that?? Don’t worry, I promise it’s real and in fact the announcement should be going to the fans soon. God, I can’t wait to hug and kiss you again.” If it were possible to hear the joy coming from him, you were hearing and feeling it full force.

You couldn’t help but silently sob into your phone. Almost forgetting he was still on the phone with you, he started to bombard you with questions. Traces of worry laced in his tone. Asking if you’re okay or need something.

You responded in between sniffles and wiping your nose. “Y… yeah I am my lucky clover. I just can’t believe you’re finally coming back. Please let me know when your flight is and I’ll be there. I love you too!”

Eric almost forgot how much he hated hearing you cry. Wanting nothing more than to fly right away so that you wouldn’t be alone anymore. Alas he left you with more comforting words and texted you his flight information.

It was actually a lot closer than you were expecting. Setting a little countdown and you carried on with your day but carrying bits of more happiness than before. Everything about that day and forward seemed to go by faster and smoother than before. It gave you more strength to get through these last couple days.

When your phone went off to remind you that the countdown was over, it awoke you. Not the worst way to wake up but we all know the best way was with Eric next to you. So you got up and made your bed.

Today seemed to shine brighter today. As if the universe knew that Eric was coming back. After a while, you got a call from Kevin that they were here and ready to go!

Having already dressed up and all, you bid goodbye to this apartment. Telling them that soon it wouldn’t feel as empty anymore but also thanking it for keeping you safe during this time. You got into the car and chatted about anything with them all until y’all arrived. They totally didn’t place a bet on who was going to cry today.

When you guys arrived, it was almost hard not to get lost with the normal traffic at an airport coupled with reporters/paparazzi awaiting his arrival. Not even being able to see anything, it dampened your mood a bit. However after getting through all of the cameras and waiting, seeing him again made it all better.

Also Younghoon definitely cried but everyone knew that it would happen. To be fair, you cried as well and Eric. After reaching a more private space, you had run so fast into his arms and as one can only imagine he spun you. Both of you held eye contact until crying into each other’s shoulders. Eric had whispered so many I love yous and thank you for waiting. Shaking your head to reassure him that it was fine.

“I’m just glad you’re back, my lucky clover. I love you too and if you ask me it was worth the wait.” You whispered back and leaned your head against his forehead. So his and your eyes could meet. Maybe a couple minutes passed and you two hear fake coughs. “You know, Eric we’re here too.”

And right then and there laughter comes out of everyone. “How could I ever forget my oh so handsome and caring hyungs?” A playfully annoyed tone coming from Eric along with a roll of his eyes. All the while, his arms opened up so that they could hug him. You slowly back away because you’ve seen them run at full force and let’s not lie here, it’s kind of scary. They don't just hug him but almost tackle him to the ground.

You’re laughing as it happens and helping them get back up with the help of their manager(s). 

“Welcome back, our energetic maknae! It really hasn’t been the same without you here and we love you.” Sangyeon welcomes him. All of them go around giving him a hug and maybe even a noogie. When they’re done, Eric returns to your side and slightly unaware of just how much they messed up his hair, you take a selfie/selca together. Only then does he notice it and leaves out a groan as you laugh. Eventually you help fix his hair and you all head back to the dorms to celebrate.

Sitting with him reminds me of when you two started going out. Both of you were quite shy and it may have taken the members giving y’all encouragement to be more comfortable with each near them. Besides they were fucking tired of hearing Eric talk about how he was scared that his members would get annoyed at you two for doing anything with public display of affection. They told him that it was fine just don’t overdo it or anything inappropriate. Ever since then, you two slowly got used to it.

You two were so young then but nothing about your love for each other has changed. Even anything, your love for each other got stronger especially after reuniting. The day was spent talking and enjoying everyone’s company. At the end, as they dropped you two off at your apartment it felt a bit odd. Walking up the stairs holding each other’s hand and the other carrying a luggage, it really did remind you of the first time you ever brought him to your place. It took a lot of convincing to the members and the company that nothing would happen to him.

Welcoming him in you, you let him know that you were going to shower and probably head to bed. Eric nodded and was putting back the things of his that used to belong there. He was taking in the view as if he didn’t know what it looked like before. Seeing his trinkets be placed, it helped the place feel more like home. After he was done putting them in their respective places, he was taking his sweet time observing the photos of you two together.

He was entranced by them so much that he didn’t hear you come out of the shower. For some reason, you didn’t want to disturb his peace so you let him indulge in it. Besides, you had done exactly what he was doing when he was gone. Looking at the pieces of your memories together and remembering that moment. When he’s done, he feels your eyes on him. Looking at each other with smiles growing.

If love was in the form of a person then it was Eric for you. Both of you couldn’t imagine a life without each other, much less a future too. For him, his future was with you. Walking over to you, he wrapped his arms around you. Peppering you with kisses and pretending to slow dance in your living room. “Thank you again for waiting for me. I know it was hard but I’m proud of us for surviving it. I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you again but I will promise that I’ll always return to you.” A promise sealed with your pinky fingers interlocking and a kiss to the lips.

“Don’t thank me for doing the bare minimum. I could and would wait however long it took for you to feel your best and better. It might have hurt but it’s not like I didn’t know what I agreed to when I told you to go for it.” You detached his hands from you and held them to move to the couch before continuing.

“You left in the spring and returned with the snow. I truly believe that these eight months apart proved that our love can withstand whatever comes our way. Thank yourself for being strong enough to admit that you needed a break. You know that everyone can’t do that but you did and I’ll always be proud of you for that.”

Eric really thought he had cried it all out today but hearing your sweet words attested to that statement. Just as you were wiping his tears when he left, you were doing the same now. A sense of relief washed over you when you realized how similar it was. Because now he was back and better. Rubbing his back and whispering sweet nothings helped soothe his pain.

One of the things that you will always love Eric for is not holding back on his emotions. During their concerts and fancons, he was known for also crying his heart out with Younghoon. He was comfortable enough to let it out. In a world where men who get called mean names for simply being in touch with their feelings and expressing them, it was a shock to you. Over time, you learned to appreciate that quality of him.

Giving him a forehead before playing the song spring snow by the boyz. While this song is a fan-song, the lyrics are very touching and a message you’d like Eric to receive. Some of the lines for reference:

At the end of the cold winter, it’s you who’s waiting for me

Everything changed after meeting you. The time when it was cold, as if it was decided, towards me. You approach with a warm smile and embrace me

I’m always grateful for you who came to me

Even if the moment of you and me passes by. Even in those lonely moments It’s fine now as it’s no longer cold

As he calmed down, you gave him a glass of water. You had one more thing for him before this day came to an end. Finding the letters or journal for him, you handed it to him. “It’s all of the things I wanted to tell you when you were gone. You can read them all another day but please shower. So we can sleep, I am beat from today.”

Eric laughed before wrapping you up in another long hug. “Yeah yeah I will. Thank you, my love. I love you again. I feel like I have to make up for the time I was away and I’ll read these with all the love in my heart.” He got up first and held out his hand for you to take it. Placing your hand in his, he kissed it and made his way to the bathroom.

While he was in the shower, he kept thinking about you and all of the things he wanted to do with you now that he’s back. There weren’t enough words to fully capture how he felt. All he knew was that he loved you and you loved him back. Knowing that gave him enough strength to carry on.

With him in the shower, you started to get cozy with the bed and told yourself to not sleep until he was out. Unfortunately, the tiredness got to you first before he did. So when he came out ready to spend the last few moments left in the day, he was greeted with you sleeping. He couldn’t blame you. Today was an emotional rollercoaster. 

Before he slept with you, he wrote a letter to you. In case that he had to leave in the morning for his schedule. Oh and of course he gave you a forehead kiss, wished that you slept well, and to have sweet dreams.

The season of Spring usually is the season of hope, blossoming of flowers, and the warmth returning but this year it brought the opposite. On the flip side, the season of Winter usually is the season of sadness, heartbreak, and the loss of warmth but this year it brought the opposite. 

The Spring Snow will always follow each other to give what the other season was missing. Like Spring Snow, you and Eric complete each other in ways people don’t understand because they are not you and him.

wow ash the boyz debut fic :)) 

I hope you enjoyed this and if you did please interact with it by reblogging it (preferably with tags and what you liked about it or what you didn’t like), sending in an ask or dm to me, or even leaving a comment in the notes section. I appreciate you and hope you remember to take care

signing off with love to eric,

- ash

[84reedsy]

The Mentorship, Part 15

The Mentorship

Characters: Curt Hennig/FemOC , Scott Hall/FemOC

Part 15 of ? (Parts not chapters, parts length varies)

Word Count: 3396

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

Warnings/Considerations: Smut, Age Gap, Power Dynamics, Dirty Talk, swearing Tag List: @writeandsurvive @theweaselandthekilt (feel free to ask to be added)

“I figured she’d be here by now,” Scott checked his watch again, but no sign of Brinkley. He’d thought she’d be fine on her own. She’d smarted off that she didn’t need a baby sitter, but even the guys didn’t travel alone much. It was better to have someone to at least watch your back.

“Probably lost track of time,” Kevin could tell Scott was worried or at the very least anxious, “She’s a tough girl,”

Scott wasn’t sure if he was more worried about her safety or if who his imagination suggested she might be with.

------------------------------------

“GOD, I haven’t had red meat in so long,” Brinkley nearly passed out as she chowed down probably the best burger she’d ever had in her life. She hadn’t had a cheat day in months - she could splurge a little. 

Curt chuckled a little as he took a bite of his own. He knew some would be upset if they knew she was here with just him. But, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. She was here by choice. He laughed to himself again as she took another bite and let out a satisfied groan. 

“Not sure I’ve ever heard you make those noises before,” He joked, but his smile fell a little as he thought better of the comment in retrospect.

“Sure you have,” She nudged him under the table with her foot, “You’ve heard worse,”

He was relieved that she felt comfortable enough to joke about such things.

“Well…I guess,” He couldn’t stop his instinctive wink. 

Brinkley smirked back at him, but did not like the uneasy feeling in her gut that was telling her she was doing something wrong. Curt noticed a change in her face.

“You alright?” He asked, wiping his hands on a napkin, looking mildly concerned.

“Yeah…just probably my stomach not liking all this fat and grease,” She joked, willing it to pass. 

“Told you it’d do that…” Curt was smug, recalling his warning long ago when he was staging her diet. He checked his watch, noticing they still had a couple of hours before they had to be at the arena, “Do you wanna kill some time before the show?”

Brinkley’s stomach tingled again, but she ignored it as she considered his offer. Perhaps it was foolish, but she found herself willing to trust him again. Afterall he wasn’t the first person to be an asshole when drunk. She placed the boundary there - she could trust him sober. 

“Sure, what’d you have in mind?”

-----------------------------------------------

Country music played over the radio, nothing new when it came to riding with Curt. He had a different rental car now - no long front bench seat. The console between them was a welcome barrier for Brinkley who knew in all logical scenarios that nothing would happen. But she knew, even now, that there was a weakness in her specifically for Curt. She couldn’t pinpoint it, but it was definitely there. 

He drove through a natural everglades area where all that existed were only power poles, a few clusters of palm trees, and sawgrass broken up by wetlands. The narrow highway had few other cars. It wasn’t much to look at, but it was better than any concrete jungle. 

“Makes me want to go fishing,” She lamented, passing yet another boggy lake that was probably teeming with wildlife. 

“I love fishing down here, especially on the ocean - not far from here is where I got that shark on my wall at home,” He tried to watch the scenery too, but kept turning back to her. 

“You’ve mentioned that a time or two,” She teased, having sat through the bullshark story multiple times, “What?” She asked, catching him looking yet again. She was dressed down in leggings, a sports bra and a loose-fitting tank top, she was no stunner right now. 

“Nothing…” He blushed a little being caught, “Just realized the last week or so has been weird because I missed this. You know, riding together, bullshitting. Guess I didn’t realize how used to you I got,”

“Yeah, I don’t think either of us realized that. It's been weird for me, too, ya know,” She wanted to put her hand on top of his that rested on the gear shift. 

“I bet. Having to share a room with those two constantly would be a big change by itself,” He had been wondering how that arrangement was going. It had shot a few eyebrows up, but Scott didn’t seem to be hiding anything anymore. 

“Well…I kinda don’t anymore,” Brinkley admitted, chewing her bottom lip a little as Curt looked over curiously, “It felt too much like…living together? And way too soon to even think about that. Staying a couple days at his house was one thing…but together every night day in and day out. I’d get on his nerves. I don’t think it’d last very long,”

“Tell me about it,” Curt teased, taking a firm nudge from her. 

“Hey! I’m not THAT bad,” She pushed his arm, “...was I?” She followed after a thought of uncertainty. 

“Nah, I’ve had way worse travel buddies,” He shrugged his shoulders, “Way worse,”

“Yeah, but did you ever rib any of them into a surprise threesome,” She said, trying to get shocked reaction. 

Curt feigned thought and she slapped his shoulder as he laughed. 

“But I got you good, didn’t I?” He cocked one eyebrow at her. She tried to pout but couldn’t resist smirking. Curt felt the weight that had been weighing on him the last several days lift away. 

“So paying for your own room gets pricey after a while,” He cleared his throat, knowing he wasn’t being subtle. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Curt,” She said, though she sounded somewhat forlorn about it, “For a few reasons. But yeah, it would add up if Scott wasn’t paying half. I told him he didn’t have to, he’s basically paying for a whole room.”

“Yeah, but how many times might he be in yours…it probably comes out even,” Curt reasoned. He noticed she blushed, “You don’t have to act like I don’t know what goes on between you two,”

“I know…it’s just -” She thought for a moment on how to put this, “It’s still weird for me, navigating everything. And now I’m doing it without you,” She sighed, “Just a lot of adjustments. It's kinda scary being alone sometimes.” She looked around curiously when Curt pulled the car over onto a gravel shoulder and parked.

“I know I didn’t make things any easier on you,” He said turning to face her, “I am truly sorry for anything I did ever that hurt you,” 

Brinkley could see the sincerity in his eyes and couldn’t stop looking at them. She felt desire and guilt collide in her gut and found herself very confused at the mixture of feelings. 

“I know you are, Curt.” Her hand itched to reach up and touch his face. But her stomach twisted at the thought of betraying Scott, “I think I can trust you from now on…as long as you aren't drinking,” 

“Well that made my day…” he flashed a smile, “You know…if you're ever too scared or anything.  You can always call me…” he offered, “I'll have a roommate, probably Ray, but you know everyone likes you. You're always welcome.”

“Thanks…I appreciate the offer, but at some point I gotta grow up a little,” she shrugged, biting her tongue to keep from asking if he'd just come to her room instead. She knew what those kinds of invitations could imply and clearly she wasn't disciplined enough quite yet with the thoughts flittering through her mind.

“We should get back,” Curt clenched his jaw as he noticed the digital clock in the car, “Don't want anyone worrying about you,”

Brinkley knew that was barely code for Scott. She nodded, finding herself slightly disappointed.

------------------------------

“Where the hell have you been?” Scott asked as he saw her enter the back door of the arena. His eyes went to Curt as he walked in directly behind her,  “What's this?” He asked,  barely concealing his accusation.

“He was the only one at the gym.  He just gave me a ride,” she said in an even tone,  hoping to not rile him up further. He reached out for her,  pulling her to his side.  He kept a warning glare on Curt as he encouraged her to walk down the hall. 

“I'm fine,  Scott. You don't have to worry about me…” she set her things down in the locker room.

“Its not so much you I'm worried about,  it's him and whether he's learned to keep his damn hands to himself,”

Brinkley couldn't help but enjoy the way Scott desired to protect her,  even if it was a little patriarchal. She went over to him,  slipping her arms around his torso and laid her head against his chest. 

“I didn't mean to make you worry, I'm sorry,” she was relieved when he returned her embrace. 

“I'm gonna be honest,  I don't like caring about other people this much.  It's not easy to trust people.  Especially around here. I don't want to be made into a fool,” he stroked her hair, but his words felt like a warning,  even a veiled insult.

She swallowed any offense she felt. She could butter him up later and hopefully make up completely. She definitely did not like being on his bad side. 

“Did Scott say much?” Curt asked as they were alone in the gorilla once again.

“A little…but nothing really much,” Brinkley adjusted the sports bra top paired with the black shorts, “Do you like it?”

“It looks incredible on you.  Hell, what wouldn't?” He looked her over.  He bought the damn clothes. He should be able to look. 

“The other shorts my ass half hangs out of them…. Saving those for the pay per view. People will be paying 29.99 for each cheek,” she joked. 

“And lucky me,  I get the view for free,” Curt teased. 

“Nothing you haven't seen before,” she teased back,  getting ready to open the curtain. Just as she stepped out,  he leaned in to her ear. 

“Nothing I haven't fucked before either,” he murmured, smug that she'd have to spend the next fifteen minutes in front of the crowd without responding. 

---------------------------------------

Brinkley was glad the next show was in Miami, they didn't have to change hotels, staying near Hollywood, Florida. She was tired and was happy to decline the invitation to go to a nearby club. Even Kevin tried to convince her to go,  again raising her suspicion that he and Scott were in on this together. 

She was comfy in a tank top and panties,  not having to care about appearances in her own room.  That alone was freeing. She cranked up the air to combat the humidity and collapsed on the bed to mindlessly watch tv just as there was a knock at her door. She groaned and drug herself off the bed. Looking through the peephole, she instantly recognized that stubbled chin. She opened the door with her hand on her hip.

“Can I help you?” She said playfully, but her face fell when she saw Kevin standing right next to Scott. His eyebrows went up as he reactively looked her over before she darted herself behind the door. 

“Well…I was making sure you didn’t wanna come with us to the club,” Scott stepped a foot in the door, “But now I’m kinda thinking I’ve got other plans,” 

“No, I told you I’m getting some rest in while I have the chance,” She saw Kevin step in after him, “Hey, I didn’t say you guys could come in!”

Scott shut the door, letting her hide behind his body. 

“He’s seen me fuck you before, doll,” Scott laughed as she pushed Scott towards her bag so she could at least grab one of the oversized t-shirts she’d stolen from Scott. At least it would be long enough to cover her.

“But it was dark, you guys were drunk and we were mostly under the sheets,” She reasoned, still standing mostly behind Scott. 

“True, she wasn’t as much of an exhibitionist as that Toronto chick,” Kevin recalled, laughing at the warning face Scott shot him. He knew from the intensely curious look on Brinkley’s face, that he might have started something. 

Scott might have hinted that Brinkley may be down for some fun with all of them, but at the moment, it didn’t seem like she was. Maybe he hadn’t asked her yet. Sharing a room with her occasionally would be a lot better if he was also getting something out of the deal. Satisfied at the moment by stirring the pot with Scott’s road history, Kevin decided to leave for the club. 

“Toronto chick?” Brinkley asked after the door closed.

“Some of us guys have regular girls in certain cities. Not every one…but some.” He admitted, suddenly thinking about Pittsburgh, “Not gonna get mad that I got my dick wet before I met you, are you?” He asked, almost condescendingly. 

She frowned and walked back to the bed, flopping down on it again. “NO. I was just asking…” She couldn’t help but be a little jealous of them and wondered if he’d turn them down if they showed up. She had a comeback on the tip of her tongue, but guessed better of mentioning anything with Curt for the moment, “Sorry, just in a bad mood,” 

“Well that’s why I’m here,” He walked to the bed, crawling across it to slide up behind her, “I know I was an ass earlier,I wanna make up for it,” He pulled her hair away from her neck, kissing the tender spot behind her ear down to her neck. 

“Scott…” She meant to say it in protest, but her tone softened itself. She lost more of her will to resist as his hand slid over the curve of her hip and down over her ass, “You know…I know you jacked off that first night we ever stayed in the same room…” She remembered how he’d grabbed her ass that night in a similar way. 

“You did?” He asked with a hint of surprise in his husky voice, “Were you awake the whole time?” He squeezed a cheek, remembering how he’d fondled her that night, “And you weren’t mad?”

“I mean… a little,” She gasped as he manhandled her backside, “But…I was turned on, too…when you touched me, it felt different than when anyone else ever had,” 

“Did you want to touch me?” He pulled her back against him, slowly gyrating against her as he worked himself up, “Were you dying to turn over and see my dick?”

She nodded, her breath quickening, “I was close to turning over…but I didn’t want to freak you out or make you stop. I almost touched myself right as I felt you cum on me,” She flexed her hips, pushing more firmly into him. 

“God damn, you’re such a dirty girl,” He bit the back of her neck lightly as his hand snuck around and down the front of her panties, pleased to sink his fingers in the evidence of her arousal, “I didn’t mean to…but damn just touching you turned me on so fucking much,” He nipped and pulled at her earlobe with his teeth, “Cum for me, baby girl,” He softly commanded as his fingers toyed rhythmically with her clit. He knew from the tremors of her body that she was close. 

His words were all that she needed as she bit her pillow to muffle some of the strained whimpers. Even if she was ticked off at him, Scott had a way of making her respond so easily that it made her forget why she was even upset. 

As the aftershocks tingled across her body, she couldn’t take his teasing anymore.

“Scott, I need you…” she said, the words barely leaving her mouth before he was stripping her of her clothes. He wasn’t sure why he was so aroused, but he knew the moment he slipped inside of her that he was not going to last long. He started with quick, firm strokes, laying between her legs as they wrapped around his waist. 

The way she dug her nails into his back didn’t help stall his stimulation. He felt those impulsive words battling their way out of his mouth, but he held them back, not believing they could be true. They were just words brought on by a passionate affair. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t say when he was buried to the hilt inside of her. 

“Don’t stop…please…harder,” She begged, trying to stall her orgasm as long as possible to match his. She struggled to withstand the pleasure she felt, heightened by the heat and weight of his body laying firmly against her. She could tell he was losing control, his restraint was dwindling as he shortened his strokes, penetrating deep into her sex. 

She cried out into his shoulder, the frantic pleasure coursing through her as she felt him pulsate inside of her. She loved the feeling. Damn Curt for not pulling out or using a condom…she preferred the feeling of a full cunt, damn the consequences. Thinking his name so soon after climaxing flooded her with an awkward sensation, but she shrugged it off as she relished Scott’s full weight over her. She loved the feeling of him over her. He barely supported himself on his forearms as he collected himself. 

“Sorry baby, you got me pretty worked up…” He apologized for his short tenure, “Give me a little bit…I’ll make sure you’re taken care of,” he felt guilty now, not saying the words. Sure they were in the heat of passion, but he would have meant them. He could just as easily say them now in the afterglow. The way she was looking up adoringly at him, like he was the only man on earth should be good enough for her. But he didn’t want to say them only to have to take them back later when, as everything else had, it inevitably failed. 

“Scott…it was amazing…and as long as I’m with you, I’m happy,” she ran her fingers tips along his cheek. 

“I don’t deserve you,” He kissed the tip of her nose and then her lips lightly, “I’m just some dirty old man who can’t keep his hands off your beautiful, hot body,” He teased her a little. Brinkley laughed, pushing him off of her and to his back. She swung her leg over his hips, straddling him. 

“You might be a dirty old man…but I have the same problem of keeping my hands off of you,” She ran her hands down from his shoulders over his broad chest and torso, “I can’t get enough of your body.” 

Her praise went straight to his groin, surprising him that his spent cock ever so slightly twitched. 

-----------------------------------

It was late as Curt walked back to his room. He had limited himself to two drinks and that had been hours ago. He knew he was walking to the wrong door, but he couldn't seem to will himself elsewhere. 

He stood outside her door, staring at the room number.  He had no excuse to tell her why he was there. She would assume it was because he was horny and she wouldn't be wrong, but it wasn't the only reason. It was nearly 2am - she was probably sleeping. If he just knocked softly he wouldn't disturb her if she was asleep. 

Just as he lifted his hand, the door cracked open slightly. He jumped and moved quickly around the hallway corner.

“No,  Scott…don't leave.  Just stay….pleeeeeease,” Brinkley begged in a sleepy, pleading voice.

“Are you sure baby?” Scott paused at the door, “I don't want to impose,” he joked,  not quite as tired.

“Shut up and come keep me warm,” she demanded, causing him to close the door. 

Curt felt his heart racing. How could he not have considered Scott might be there. She did say they didn't always sleep together all night.  But he was guessing they did so more often than not and didn't realize how often it truly was. 

It was a close call, he should take that as a hint to stay away. But he only seemed to think of how to be more careful next time. 

[television-overload]

Field of Dreams (X-Files fanfic)

Mulder's favorite movie inspires him to fill his seemingly endless free time with a special project shortly after moving into the Unremarkable House.

I was reading a bunch of fics about dad!Mulder and baseball, and had the sudden realization that my favorite baseball movie of all time is so Mulder-coded, that it would 100% be his favorite move too, full stop. And thus this was born. It seems all my X-Files fanfics are going to be accidents, none of them planned.

Read on AO3

She should have known this was coming eventually.

The well-worn VHS had been sitting on the coffee table for the last two weeks, in the living room of their new, unremarkable house.

Kevin Costner. James Earl Jones. Ray Liotta. Baseball and dreams and ghosts and time travel and the healing of broken father-son relationships...

It was his favorite movie, but for reasons so personal to him that he never spoke of it, instead claiming that Caddyshack or Plan 9 from Outer Space was his top pick if anyone asked. She'd never even known he had it until she woke one night to find him downstairs watching it alone in the dark, his face lit up by the flickering images on the screen. He said nothing, but allowed her to sink into the cushions of their shared couch beside him, curling into his side. They watched it together in silence. No words needed to be said, after all. She knew him well enough to understand what this movie meant to him. As the credits rolled, he flicked the TV off and the living room of their creaky house was enveloped in darkness once again.

He'd been lonely here at home. He tried not to let it show, but she knew anyway. It was only recently that they'd finally been able to settle down, purchase a house out in the middle of nowhere while she put her medical degree to good use. But while she was away, he was left alone with his thoughts for hours at a time, nothing but the peaceable silence of the Virginia countryside to keep him company.

There were certainly signs she should have picked up on. Dirt under his fingernails. A splotch of grease on the corner of his sleeve. The smell of gasoline on his hands when she came home from work and was welcomed with a kiss.

He wasn't sitting idly in his office all day, that much she knew.

But it wasn't your run-of-the-mill yard work he was busy with, either.

He seemed happier. She tried not to question it. For the first time since they'd moved in, he seemed more like himself, and she saw a future where they could be happy here, establishing a comfortable routine and finally getting started on living a somewhat normal life.

She came home one day to find Mulder a couple hundred feet from the house, wrestling an overgrown chain link fence with his chosen weapon of a pair of bolt cutters. He waved at her with a smile, and she felt her heart flutter. She wouldn't ask what he was up to, not yet. When he was ready, he'd let her in on his secret.

A week later, he was in the small shed behind the house, drenched in sweat but seemingly gratified at the work he was doing cutting wood planks with a hand saw and sanding them down to perfection.

Some days he wasn't even there when she pulled into the driveway, and though she missed the way he would run up to her like a puppy to welcome her home, she was glad he'd found something to pass the time that made him happy. She secretly appreciated the flush of color on his face and sweat stains on his t-shirts when he finally made his way back to the house in time for dinner, bounding up the stairs for a quick shower before joining her at the table. It was a side to him she didn't see often before, what with his white-collar job and Armani suits. He'd even acquired a thin layer of facial hair in recent days, having forgotten to shave, and she couldn't bring herself to be mad at his new rugged, manly look. In fact, she quite enjoyed it.

Scully was napping on the couch, exhausted from another long day of work, when she felt a hand on her shoulder shaking her awake.

"Scully, wake up," a soft voice spoke, "I wanna show you something."

"What's that?" she slurred, her eyes blinking open blearily. His hands cupped hers and pulled her to her feet, steadying her on her wobbly, half-asleep legs.

"Come on," he said, and he tugged her toward their back porch door.

The first wisps of crisp fall air danced across her face as she stepped into the backyard, following Mulder with her hand clasped comfortably in his.

"Where are we going, Mulder?" she finally asked. They'd passed the boundary of what she traditionally thought of as their backyard, and were now traveling down a trail through the tall, wild grass that filled their sprawling property.

"You'll see," was all he said, but she saw the gleam of enjoyment in his eye and the way the corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile.

The sun had begun its retreat to the horizon, the longer days of summer beginning to fade into the shorter ones of autumn. The sky around them was painted in vivid oranges, yellows, and pinks, the aftermath of a brief storm that had passed through. The earthy, fresh scent of the air filled her lungs, and she was once again in awe of the peace they'd finally been able to find, after all they had been through together. She squeezed his hand tighter.

As they came up over the hill, she saw it.

Freshly turned dirt, darkened with moisture from the rain, in the shape of a diamond. The grass was mown short, weeds removed until it perfectly mirrored the well-manicured outfield of any respectable baseball stadium. There were wooden benches on each side of the field, set up in raised tiers so that hypothetical onlookers could see above the heads of those in front of them. And the chain link fence had been modified and built into a decent impression of a backstop behind home plate, which appeared to be made of a burlap bag of sand. Beyond the outfield, the wild grasses and flowers grew up tall, stretching as far as the eye could see.

Scully felt a tear slip from her eye, and she quickly lifted a finger to wipe it away.

"Did a ghost tell you to build this, Mulder?" she asked, the hitch in her voice betraying the emotions that laced her joke.

He smiled and pulled her into his side. She hadn't noticed the baseball jersey he wore before, but it brought back fond memories.

"Yeah, actually, but it turns out the Lone Gunmen don't have an ounce of athletic skill to spare, so it got boring pretty quick."

She let out a watery laugh, wiping more forcefully at the moisture on her cheeks before turning back to him.

"Well, are you gonna show me around?"

He grinned and took off, walking backwards toward the field with a spring in his step. As they approached the field, this field that he had built, he paused to grab something out of a dirt-encrusted wheelbarrow that sat adjacent to the tall grass. From behind his back, he produced a baseball glove and a wooden bat, offering both to her.

"You pitching or batting first, Scully?" he asked, the fire of purpose, of passion in his eyes for the first time in a long time.

She smiled and grabbed the bat, which he used to drag her giggling toward the field.

"Up to bat first is Shoeless Dana Scully, coming out of retirement after 5 years for the opening game at this unremarkable field!" Mulder narrated, the playful tone of his voice sending her back in time. She dragged her feet exaggeratedly to home plate, lifting the bat above her shoulders as Mulder took his place on the pitcher’s mound.

"Fire away, poor boy," Scully called, earning a flashing smile from the man with the glove. She had thought that somewhere along the way, between dingy motel rooms and nights spent sleeping in their car, he had lost that boyish look he sometimes had. But there it was, that carefree, life-loving look of wonderment that had only made her fall deeper in love. Her stomach did a flip.

Mulder drew back in a windup before firing a fastball right over the plate. It whooshed past, clanging into the rattling chain link fence before Scully could even blink.

"What was that, Mulder?" Scully protested, raising her palms to the air in question.

Mulder laughed, kicking the dirt with his dirty sneakers before looking back up at her.

"I know your secret, Dana Scully," he said, mischief glinting in his eye. "You were on your brother's little league team as a kid. I found the pictures in that album you keep hidden in the closet."

Scully's jaw dropped and she let out a laugh.

"You've been holding out on me, slugger."

"Well, that was a long time ago," she reasoned, doing an impressive job of hiding the fact that she was guilty as sin.

"Uh huh, I'm sure," he nodded, tossing the ball a couple times in his right hand. "Let's see what you got, babe."

An eyebrow raise.

"Like Babe Ruth."

She rolled her eyes.

Accepting her fate, Scully got in her batting stance and prepared to hit the ball. He whipped one at her, and she made contact with a satisfying crack! sending the ball soaring into the outfield.

Mulder nodded his head up and down, doing a circle around the pitchers mound as he cracked a sunflower seed between his teeth. "Yep, that's what I thought. So you mean to tell me all these years I could have been talking baseball stats with you? Scully, who's your favorite team?"

Scully rolled her eyes and dug the end of the bat in the ground, tracing shapes in the dirt. "I never actually liked baseball, Mulder, I only played cause I refused to let Bill do anything without me."

"Are you hiding any other spectacular skills I should know about? Do I need to build a magical basketball court next?"

"Magical, Mulder?" she said, raising a familiar skeptical eyebrow in his direction.

He shrugged and gestured around him. "What? This feels pretty magical to me," he answered with a wink, all that natural charm he possessed coming out in full force.

She shook her head, laughing softly at this side of him that she had missed.

"I think it's safe to say I'm not hiding any basketball skills," she spoke, gesturing at her 5'3" form.

Mulder reached down to grab another ball from the bucket beside him, idly passing it between his bare hand and his glove.

"Good, because this was a lot of work."

Dusk slowly turned into night, the cool air turning cold as they took turns batting and pitching, until they'd exhausted their stash of baseballs. They'd be lost to the darkened fields until the morning, when the sun would again illuminate the landscape.

As Mulder led her back to the house, flashlight lighting the way before them, the words from the movie echoed in her ears, as if from a disembodied voice. "Ease his pain."

She wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing her cheek against his shoulder. His hand moved in small circles on her lower back, warming her against the chill that had settled in.

Whatever regrets they had, whatever dreams were broken beyond repair, they had this. They had each other. And even if this is how things always would be, nothing more than the two of them and this unremarkable house, she would be happy. And so would he.

"Is this heaven, Mulder?" she asked, her voice soft and pensive.

Mulder smiled and pressed a kiss to her hair.

"I think it just might be."

------

Anyway, the only way Field of Dreams could be more Mulder is if an alien showed up in it. I mean, it has ghosts, time travel, baseball, and difficult father-son relationships. What more could you want? Go watch it if you haven't. Even if you're not a baseball fan. The end literally makes me weep every time.

I may come back for a follow up, if the vision strikes me. One word: Jackson.

Now what are you still doing here, go watch the movie!

Tagging: @today-in-fic @randomfoggytiger @cutemothman

[theunbearableweightofpedropascal]

Revenge, a dish best served cold

AN: I'm still a beginner so there's probably tons of mistakes. Very self-indulgent. I hope y'all like it. :)

Summary: Benny is the love of your dear sister's life but all bets are off when she fucks your boyfriend.

Word Count: 5.3K

One of the perks of working in a bookstore was that you got free reign of the newly delivered books, as long as your manager didn’t find out. Not that Randy would really care but it'd be better to keep your transgressions to yourself. Combing through the romance section you look for anything that would spark your interest. But after looking them up and checking reviews you don’t see yourself reading any of them. 

The loud chime of the bell atop the door alerts you that it’s time to get back to the front desk. Walking up you see a middle aged woman who immediately starts toward the stacks, so you wait for her. You notice she’s been over in the romance section too long and approach. 

“Is there anything I can help you with?” You ask in a perfected customer service voice.

“Oh yes actually my book club is planning on reading ‘It Ends With Us’ by Colleen Hoover '' You fight the urge to grimace at the mention of that author and help her locate where it is. Even though the avid reader in you wants to point her in a better direction. After checking her out you manage to sneak a peek at your phone and see you have 7 minutes until closing. 

With the hope of no more customers you start preparing everything to close. You grab your bag and bid Randy goodnight, heading to your car a few blocks down from the store. As you decompress you check your phone notifications. Your boyfriend Kevin informed you that he’d be busy preparing for a mock trial coming up, so he can’t do anything. Your sister Vanessa has plans to bar hop and spend the night with her friends. Not wanting to spend the night alone, you make your way to the nearest grocery store. 

You pick up wine and the ingredients to make Kevin’s favorite broccoli cheddar soup. He may be cramming but he wouldn’t resist you cooking for him. You’d be content just being around him. Making your way to Kevin's, your excitement grows because you felt like there was a distance between you. You weren’t sure why, probably the stress from him being in law school or maybe his parents. But either way you were determined to take care of him tonight and make him feel appreciated. 

You park across the street and fluff up your appearance before getting out along with the groceries. Walking towards his door you’re stunned, what shocks you is your sister's car in the driveway. You know it’s hers too because of her bumper stickers. She was supposed to be with friends so why is her car here? Especially since they both claimed to be busy. Confusion morphs into fear making you stop and think, you don’t believe that either would betray you. 

But two opposing sides of yourself are fighting, on one hand maybe he’s talking to her about proposing. But you already had that talk, you weren’t ready and he’s still in law school. It’s not like they were close, if something was going on she’d come to you. Everytime they were together you were there but maybe that wasn’t true either. What other reason would she be here? To plan a surprise birthday party even though your birthday just passed. Soon you lose hope in the two people that you truly trust. The fighting ceases once you realize there really is no other explanation. 

Still you can’t or rather don't want to believe it even if it’s staring you in the face. You cautiously weigh your options. Ultimately you know what’s going on behind the door, no matter how deep you wish to suppress it. You pull out the key he gave you and unlock the door to step inside. You drop the bags when you see her shoes. Fears you didn’t know you had have now become true.

You take a moment before walking further. The living room is empty with his books and notes scattered on the table. As you come closer you see Nessa’s purse on the loveseat. The evidence becomes damning. Nearing the stairs, you hear a repetitive thump. Your heart drops to your stomach and your hand shakily covers your mouth. Forcing yourself to climb the steps knowing that each step brings your inevitable heartbreak is one of the hardest things you’ve done. 

Once you reach the top of the stairs it’s undeniable, you recognize those grunts and groans. You hear Nessa’s voice. Your stomach curls in disgust, of all the people he could have chosen it had to be her. It was already bad enough you had insecurities but to have everything you were insecure about be totally correct, you’re not sure how to come back from this. You don’t need the visual confirmation, that would be too much. You just need to get out of there. Running down the stairs you don’t care how much noise you make. You grab your bag and slam the door, you keep a brisk pace not wanting to be cornered into talking to one of them. You would probably throw up if you didn’t have an empty stomach.

Inside your car everything is blurry when you rub your eyes you realize it’s tears. You could feel the sob you want to let out clawing its way through your chest and up your throat. It sits there like a heavy weight making your breathing scarce. You don’t have time to dwell so you start your car and begin to pull off. From your peripheral you see the front door fly open, you sneak a glance and see Kevin in just his boxers waving his hands and shouting. You press on the gas before he could make it to the car. 

You only drive for a short distance and pull into a park to let out the sob that had been lodged in your throat. The already stiff air was filled with non-stop buzzing. Phone calls and text messages but they soon realized you wouldn’t pick up the phone and resorted to just texts. You sat there with dried snot on your sweater and throbbing eyes wondering where it went wrong, in both relationships. Were you not enough for Kev? Did you do something to slight Vanessa and didn’t know it? 

Texts from Kevin and Vanessa show they are both still trying to apologize. As if an apology will fix what they did. Kevin swears it was the first time and a mistake, you don’t think your eyes could roll further into your head. Vanessa alleges that it was a “lapse of judgment” and that your “sisters”. Something about that just makes you want to get violent, if you were truly “sisters” she wouldn’t of fucking done what she did. She wouldn’t have contributed to one of the most hurtful betrayals. You didn’t expect Kevin to cheat but you could’ve gotten over it, Vanessa on the other hand you really were blindsided by what she did. That’s the part that stings. Boyfriends come and go but your sister is supposed to have your back, help you get through it not be part of the cause. 

With your thoughts becoming too much you start the car again and put on some music that would fit your situation. Mitski. You make the drive to your apartment but stop at a gas station to pick up some cheap wine that’ll put you to sleep. You walk in and the bright lights make your sensitive eyes throb even more. While browsing through the selections you think about how your night went so far left. It brings a fresh set of tears to your eyes, you take that as a sign to grab the biggest bottle and head to the cashier. 

“Bad day huh?” He says with a slight grimace after looking at your appearance.

“A charmer” You deadpan. “Do you have any Raw rolling papers?”

He nods asking if “You got I.D.?” then looks at you with suspicion. So you pull out your I.D. for him to investigate. You put on a sarcastic smile when he’s looking back and forth to give the full effect. He hands your license back and adds the rolling paper to the bag, handing it to you after you pay.

Arriving at your door you barely have the will to unlock it, your emotional exhaustion catching up. Once you're inside you head for your wine opener not caring that you haven’t eaten since your lunch break. At least you’ll get drunk faster. But you know you can’t cook right now so you go to pull up ubereats only to see a multitude of messages and missed calls from your sister and soon to be ex. You text them both that they need to stay away from you until you’re ready to talk. You immediately go to mute them so you don’t get the notifications anymore. 

Once you’ve put in your order your thoughts drift back to what could’ve prompted this. You could feel him pulling away emotionally but you perceived it as stress. Never did you think Kevin would do something like this. He could’ve dumped you then went after Nessa and you would’ve been ok, eventually. But now they’ve scarred you in a way that is unforgivable. How would Kevin like it if you fucked his brother or sister? Would Nessa feel the same as you if fucked one of her exes?

Suddenly the light bulb in your head goes off. Benjamin Miller, Benny for short. The one man that your sister wanted to be with forever, except he wasn’t the commitment type. Oh the amount of times she came to you saying that she would be the one to fix that. Only to come crying to you about how she keeps trying but he won’t budge. You told her how it was a bad idea going into a relationship wanting to change someone. Especially when she knew exactly what she would be getting into. 

Benny was the hottest guy in school when your sister was in highschool and by the time you reached high school people were still talking about him. Benny knew he was hot too so he never wanted to be tied down long, Vanessa stupidly believed she was the key. One of those ‘oh but I can fix him’ attitudes. Even at 9 years old you knew better. She and him were on and off throughout high school although it was never as a couple. He must’ve got tired of her constantly trying to change him cause after graduation Benny broke things off for good. He told her he couldn’t be what she needed so they were better off separate. Then he went off to the army with his brother.

She was inconsolable. Refused to leave her bedroom for weeks until your mom made her come downstairs to eat with the family. She never truly got over him, even now the guys she dated had a likeness to Benny himself. Which really confuses you on why she went for Kev when they were opposites. But you knew if you really wanted to hurt her and Kevin simultaneously he was your key. 

You started on instagram, that would tell you what you needed to know. You type in ‘Benjamin Miller’ only to come up short, not losing hope you input ‘Benny’ instead. Lo and behold it’s him, the profile picture is small and he’s aged a bit but it definitely is him. You look through his page and find he is single with two dogs and he does MMA. He must have good stamina. You linger a little longer on the shirtless pics than necessary but you can’t help it. You see why your sister lost all sense of decorum when it came to him. 

In the midst of your lurking you end up like one of his oldest photos. From 2015. Although your handle wasn’t your name you were easily identifiable by your profile picture. However this is what you wanted so you decide to just follow him. It was a little past 10 so he should still be up. In the meantime you dive deeper into your wine. Your phone pings and you dive for it, but it’s just your food being delivered. Disappointed, you pick up your Chinese from the hallway and upack it while browsing the TV. 

After chugging half the bottle you get your rolling papers from the bag and roll two joints. While out on the balcony you smoke and allow the warmth & fuzziness to take over. You go through your instagram deleting every picture with Kevin and Nessa. It’s an hour later when you see the notification that he requested to follow you back. 

You immediately accept the request knowing the copious amount of wine mixed with weed is pushing shame and decorum to the back of your head. After you accept his request he likes an old picture of yours. You decide to cut the bullshit and just DM him. Though you have no idea how to broach the subject you bite the bullet. 

“This will sound odd but I promise I’m not crazy. I just caught my ex-boyfriend fucking my sister, aka your ex Vanessa. The reason I contacted you was because you’re like the love of her life and I know for a fact it would crush her if I slept with you or just say I did and you corroborate it. As you can see I’m really fucking desperate here.” You press send however you see the mistake you made with the last sentence and prepare for more word vomit. 

“Not that sleeping with you would be a bad thing and I would be desperate to do that, I meant I’m desperate for revenge and I would very much enjoy sex with you I think. Unless you don’t want to” You nervously start chewing your lip in anticipation of his answer. Worried that maybe your plan won’t pan out and you may have to actually deal with the fallout sooner than later. Through your overthinking you almost miss his response.

“That’s definitely an ice breaker, however I’m more than willing to help you. I never could say no to pretty girls like you. ” His reply has your mouth drop wide open in sheer shock that he didn’t automatically block you after that. Once you register what he said, heat floods your face. 

“You know I already want to have sex with you you don’t have to butter me up” You don’t need him to feed you bullshit lines. 

“You know if you hadn’t attacked me first I was going to ask you out.” He makes you laugh, a genuine laugh that makes your head fly back.

“Well I didn't mean to pounce on you but I can’t say I regret it. We should meet first yk to avoid catfishing and stuff. Would you want to maybe grab coffee with me” You cringe at how awkward you sound even through text. 

“Sure for ‘catfishing and stuff’ purposes, if you wanted to take me up on the date you could've just said so sweetheart.” 

The pair of you come up with the plan to meet at a cafe not too far from you tomorrow afternoon. You leave the conversation at that and go back to your room in search of what you’ll wear. You decide on a white v-neck and barely appropriate shorts to go with some white sneakers. Simple enough that it won’t look like you tried but still enough to draw his eye. 

You head to the shower to sober up a bit before laying down and end up letting the hot water just run all over you. You moisturize after getting out and head to bed. The wine helps lull you into a peaceful sleep you wouldn’t have gotten otherwise.

…………………..

You wake up extra early to prepare yourself for this meeting, this plan is basically your motivation right now. Upon putting on your outfit you decide to apply a nice blush to your cheeks to liven your face. Mascara and eyeliner follow suit to balance any remaining puffiness out. You double check that you have everything before grabbing your tote bag and leaving. The closer you get the more nervous you are, but it’s the excited kind of nervous. 

The jingle of the bell above the cafe door must alert Benny you’re here, you don’t even get a chance to look around before he’s calling your name. You look in his direction to see him waving and smiling at you, so you reciprocate the action too. He picked a table in the back probably for more privacy. As you get closer he stands up to greet you, something you didn't expect. He may only be wearing a red band tee and some jeans but his shoulders stretch the shirt in a way that has your mouth watering and cunt clenching. His tall frame towers over you, and if you didn’t have size kink before you sure as hell do now. But his eyes are what really hold your interest, the pretty sky blues framed by his long lashes make him even more stunning in person. 

You’re so nervous by the time you reach him you put your hand out to shake his, only for him to smack it away and pull you into a hug. Your face is pressed into his muscular chest while his arms wrap around your hips. His cologne makes you take a deep inhale before you can stop yourself, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He pulls away to peer down at you. 

“I figured you needed a hug after y’know everything” his deep voice is bringing that tingly feeling back to your stomach. Feeling grateful you give him a soft smile as thanks before removing your arms from his side. He pulls out your chair for you before taking his seat. You notice two drinks and a bunch of creamer and sugar. “Oh I wasn’t sure what kind of coffee you drink so I just got black and some creamer.” He says with a nervous smile. 

“Some?” you tease him, he smiles back at you sheepishly.

“I wasn’t sure which flavor you’d like.” he defends himself while scratching the back of his neck.

“Well thank you I appreciate it.” you say beaming at him. You begin prepping your coffee the way you like, and start drinking it while admiring Benny before he catches you. “So,” you clear your throat “are you sure you want to do this, you can totally back out I know it sounds insane”

You don’t expect him to gently clasp your hand and rub circles on it before saying, “I already told you I’m all for it. Honestly I dont know what I’d do if my brother did what Vanessa did, it’s fucked up so however you need me to help I’m here.” His gaze portrays how genuine he’s being.   

No longer able to hold his intense stare you look down and bite your lip, waiting for your butterflies to subside. You take your available hand and sip some more coffee before asking, “So why don’t you have a girlfriend with all this charm?”

“Serious relationships are time consuming and I just didn’t have time to maintain them properly. I think that could change soon though.” You felt the double meaning in his answer, and your cheeks become hot without the help of coffee.

“People say it’s a bad idea to jump from one relationship to the next.” You give him a pointed look.

“Well it’s a good thing patience is one of the fundamental things they teach you in the army isn’t it.” He smiles at his cheekiness and in turn so do you. “Not to ruin the moment but how exactly are we doing this revenge thing?” He asks.

You grimace before responding. “I’m stumped there too, just saying it isn’t satisfying, a sex tape would be too vulgar and there’s a risk it could be passed around. Plus you seem nice but we still don’t know each other. A picture doesn’t feel like enough I need them to know what it felt like to walk into something like that-” 

Benny cuts off your rambling, “Then why not have them walk in on us like you did them. You text them to come to your place and ‘work things out’ only to find us fucking.” 

“I actually really like that idea” Scheming with Benny may just become your favorite hobby. 

“How much did you like it, like do I get a kiss?” He straightens himself up before continuing. “I mean we’re gonna be doing it anyways so might as well.”

You lean over to give him a peck on the lips but he keeps your head there by holding your neck. His soft lips carefully move along with yours, taking your lead. While caressing his arm you tilt your head to the right so your nose doesn’t get in the way. Anybody walking past would think you two were a couple meeting up for coffee. You pull away first fearing that you were getting too carried away.

Benny leans back with a shit eating grin. He licks his lips and looks at you, “Mmm what flavor is that? Strawberry?” liking the way your lips tasted.

…………………..

The plan was in motion and you already texted Kevin and Vanessa that you were ready to talk and hear them out. Was this a healthy way to process your emotions? No. You should probably talk this out with a professional however this seems like it’ll make you feel better. Plus it’s free.  All you have to do now is get ready.

After checking over yourself in the mirror you appreciate the way that the two piece red lingerie looks on you. The bra hugs your tits perfectly allowing them to look their absolute best. The thong leaves nothing to the imagination which is something you’re sure Benny would appreciate.Though the garter belt cinches your waist in a way that gives you confidence you haven't felt lately. You top your ‘outfit’ off with a bright red lipstain to match.

Your doorbell sounds and you know it’s Benny. Surprisingly he’s been really helpful to you throughout all this, texting and calling to check up on you. He’s a lot different than you perceived him to be but you’re glad he proved you wrong. You grab your robe and tie it before opening the door to let Benny in. He doesn’t hesitate to pull you into a hug only this time it’s far less innocent due to his hands rubbing your ass and squeezing it in appreciation. 

“I swear you get prettier and prettier every time I see you. How are you feeling hm?” He rubs his hand up and down your sides making the butterflies in your stomach go further and further down. 

“I’m excited actually, is that weird?” Your hands find themselves resting atop his broad shoulders that are covered by a tracksuit. 

“Yeah you’re just excited to be using my precious body for your revenge.” He’s only joking but you still stand on your toes and gently press your lips to his. He presses your body to his as close as he can get it while molding his lips to yours. The heat from his body makes you want more; you gently bite at his bottom lip eliciting a beautiful groan from him. Moving your hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck you gently pull at his hair forcing him to part his lips. You go to slip your tongue in but Benny pulls away causing you to whine. 

He bends down next to your ear to whisper, “You gonna let me see what’s under here?” you respond ‘yes’ breathlessly. Your heart races while he unties your robe, you study his face and how concentrated he is for this little task. Once he gets the robe untied his eyes quickly look back up at you and you see his pupils blown wide, the pretty blue in his eyes barely visible. 

His hands grab your hips and lift you up without any effort. Your legs wrap around his waist while your hands find purchase on his shoulders. He lays you down on your couch so he can kneel in front of you keeping your legs apart. He doesn’t take his eyes off your body while telling you, “You look so beautiful baby I almost don’t wanna take it off.” As much as you enjoy the praise you need him to do something, “Benny please, I need you.” and you can’t help the way you mewl. 

That’s all he needed to hear before pulling your thong off and pocketing it for later. His big, meaty hands are placed behind your knees so he can put your knees to your chest and lick a flat stripe up your slit. His tongue teases you by narrowly avoiding the place you want him most, causing your cunt to clench in need. It’s all too much but not enough at the same time your hands grip at your cushion hoping to ease some tension. He finally allows his tongue to lick inside you looking for your sweet spot, he knows he found it after your hips buck involuntarily. He groans into you causing you to moan from the vibrations you feel. 

Benny pushes his face even deeper causing his nose to rub against your clit in the most delicious way. Between him flicking that gushy spot in you and his nose you tell him, “Right there, keep it just.. just like that.” even you can hear how desperate you sound. He actually follows your instruction and doesn’t fuck up his rhythm causing your head to fall back limp. You can feel your juices mixed with his spit dripping and making a wet spot under you. He must feel how much it is since he starts lapping at your pussy. His hands remove themselves from your knees allowing you to freely grind your hips. You run your fingers through his hair and grip it to bring him impossibly closer. His mouth moves from your slit to clit so quickly, all you can do is babble nonsense and rock into his face. 

You feel your orgasm rising slowly, the feeling expanding until it explodes while you rock your hips into his face. Your stomach clenches and unclenches until your ride out your high on his face. Slumping back in the chair you catch your breath before pulling Benny up by his face to give him a kiss as thanks. You can taste yourself on his lips and on his tongue, Benny takes this time to unhook your bra and take it off. He moves from your lips to your neck, sucking and licking enough to leave a mark. 

You push him back and go to stand up so he can sit on the coach. This time you’re kneeling in front of him, rubbing your hands on his thick thighs until you reach the waistband of his shorts. After pulling them down his cock springs up leaking pre-cum, you take the time to look at it and note the pretty pink tip. A long vein going from tip to base and looks as if it’s throbbing you get excited when you see it curves downward. Looking up at him you note the flush in his face and kiss his inner thighs which has him sucking in a breath. 

You start off licking his vein from base to tip and swirling your tongue around. His hips begin to buck slightly as if he’s trying to hold himself back, except you don’t want that. Your lips wrap around his tip and suck as you go as low as you can. His groans only encourage you to take as much of him as possible. Since you only make it about halfway you use your hand to cup his heavy balls while you bob your head up and down.

“You’re doing so good pretty girl, fucking perfect mouth.” his head is thrown back and his hands gripping your poor cushions so hard his veins are popping out. You placed his hands on the back of your head giving him permission to fuck your face. He wastes no time gripping your hair and pushing your head down to meet his hips moaning at the warmth of your mouth. 

He stands up to have better leverage and begins an even rougher pace with his balls slapping against your chin with each thrust. Soon enough your spit is dripping down your chin while you service him. You grip his ass and nuzzle your nose in his pubic hair making his hips stutter at your sudden movement. He’s panting when he pulls out of your mouth and lifts you up to stand. 

“Need you on your hands and knees.” You spare no time and do exactly as he requested. With you facing the door he came in behind you placing his hand on your back so your arch can He continues to push himself in deeper allowing you time to adjust to him. However you don’t need much time since you’re clenching around him begging for more, and he obliges you. His hips begin snapping against your ass leaving you panting like a bitch in heat. All that could be heard in the living room is skin slapping against each other. Between his hips snapping to meet your ass, and his balls slapping your lips you don’t know which is driving you more crazy. 

You can’t help but to throw your ass back at the same pace as him causing him to let out the most sinful moan you’ve heard. You hear your door open and snap your head up to catch the look on their faces. Kevin walks in with Vanessa but they stop short when they see what’s actually happening. As terrible as it sounds seeing the heartbroken look on each of their faces paired with Benny’s unforgiving pace had you gushing all over your couch, Benny’s abs, and even wet up his balls. He rewards you by bringing his hand down on your ass and telling you you’re such a “good girl” for getting his dick so wet unlike anyone else. 

That must have triggered something in Vanessa because with tearful eyes she calls you a, “Fucking bitch” that went too far. Kevin’s face morphs from disheartened to disgusted agreeing with Vanessa that you did take it, “too far”. Like you care. They leave and slam your door on the way out but that doesn’t mean Benny is done with you. He pulls out and stands you up so he can lift you onto his hips. 

“Wanna see that pretty face when I cum.” he explains while lining himself up to go back inside you. Your nails dig into his hard shoulders once you feel him slipping in and out of you. The intense eye contact has you clenching down on him so much there’s probably a white ring on his cock thanks to you. You know he’s close when he starts rutting into you with no thought other than stuffing you full. You desperately bring his lips to yours while he empties his load into you. He moans in your mouth while sliding out of you, causing you to hiss at the emptiness.

Benny releases you to the ground but your knees buck causing Benny to keep you in his arms. He walks you to your bed and lays you down before going into your bathroom. He comes out with a warm towel to help clean you up, you’re too tired to do much of anything except stare at Benny. He cleans himself up next before coming to lay next to you telling you to rest. You lay your head on his chest and let his heartbeat lull you into a well-deserved nap. 

[agirlwithdemonblood]

Celebrity Next Door - Chapter 8

Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)

Series Summary: Moving to a new location is difficult but living next to somebody you’d never expect to meet, and catching feelings? That’s damn near impossible to comprehend.

Chapter Summary: A day spent with the three people you cherish, what could be better?

Warnings: Slight angst, insecurities, lots of happiness and fluff tho.

Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!

Time flies when you're having fun.

That’s what everybody says, and I never believed it. 

I’ve had fun before and time didn’t necessarily go by any faster. 

But spending the past week with Jensen and his kids felt like it’s been only hours since they came home. 

And now here they were already, packing their bags and getting ready to go back to their mom’s house. 

Kevin placed his bag in the hallway as did Katie, Jensen coming down the stairs to see them off as he always did.

I packed my belongings in my purse and put my shoes on at the back door, getting ready to leave when Jensen rushed to my side.

“Where are you sneaking off to?” He smirked, pulling me closer by my coat.

I laughed and pushed his chest back gently, “Home silly.”

His smile dropped and he stared at me in shock, like I just hurt his feelings.  “Why?”

Confusion filled me as I stepped closer, and a small polite smile spread on my lips. “What do you mean why? Out of respect. I don’t need to be here when she shows up, remember last time?”

His features grew cold and he looked away from me, a poor attempt to put his walls back up.

“Hey... Jensen, don’t do that. I’m not trying to upset you. But last time we both slightly froze and we mentioned how we were enjoying the drama-free life. We don’t have to change anything.”

He frowned and shook his head, “I want it to change. I don’t want to hide us anymore. The past week has been amazing, for you, me, and the kids. And I want that to become real, I want our little bubble to pop, and for us to go out into the real world, together.”

I smiled and put my bag down, stepping closer to him to wrap my arms around his waist.

“Then let’s change it.”

Half an hour passed and finally, the children’s mom pulled up. 

I swallowed my nerves and stood in my spot, turning to glance at Jensen who was looking even more scared than I was.

Her face dropped when she spotted me, a knowing smile playing on her red-stained lips.

“Oh… Hi. Y/N was it?” She spoke, stepping closer to Jensen and I. 

I nodded and smiled friendly, “Yes, it’s nice to see you again Daneel!”

She kept her composure and stared back at Jensen who was quiet, and still. You’d swear he was frozen in position by the way he wasn’t even moving an inch. 

“Jensen? Are you going to say Hi or just stand there like a deer in headlights?” She joked.

Jensen smiled politely and shook off his nerves, stepping closer to her, “Hey Daneel. How was the drive?”

She shrugged and looked back at her car, “Not bad, I do miss living in Austin though, I might have to see if I can move back there.”

He swallowed hard and his face went cold. Angry. The wall building. Brick by brick.

I backed up to let them talk, sitting beside the kids on the stairs. 

“So.. Did you have a good week guys?”

Katie nodded and smiled, leaning her head on my shoulder. “I’ll miss you!”

I laughed, my heart instantly warming at her words. “I’ll miss you too Katie Girl but don’t worry, I live right next door. Come visit me whenever you come back okay?”

She nodded enthusiastically and my attention turned towards Kevin, who was sitting with his arms crossed and a really grumpy look on his face.

“What about you Kevin? Have a good week?”

He shrugged and huffed, putting that cold shoulder back, like this week never happened.

Yes, I’ll admit it hurt, but he was a kid, there would be a million things in his mind, especially the switching back and forth between parents, it couldn’t be that easy.

The voices of the parents got louder before they just stopped talking to each other completely. 

Jensen walked away from her shaking his head, approaching Katie and Kevin and attempting to force a smile. “C’mon guys, time to get in the car.”

We waved goodbye to the kids as they left, I watched the sad expression on Katie and Jensen’s face and my heart hurt. They weren’t my family yet I could feel myself growing emotional seeing the hurt that filled the area. 

After the car was out of sight, Jensen sat on the stairs and I followed quickly. He stared out into the road. His jaw was slammed shut and his fists were clenched, he was really bothered by something.

“Jensen?” I whispered, catching his attention.

He turned towards me and smiled sadly, “I’m good, it’s just a lot sometimes.”

I nodded understandingly and gripped his hand in mine tightly. “Well, why don’t we do something today? Get out of the house a bit?”

He smiled for the first time this morning and nodded, “Yeah. Let’s do it.”

After researching things to do, and places to go, Jensen suggested we go see the market by the beach. Apparently, there were little kiosks and stands with handmade items which was something I was unbelievably excited to see.

We parked on the street and got out of the car, his hand instantly reaching for mine. He was never a man shy of affection in the right moments. In front of his kids it was more innocent and less “in your face”. Usually, when it’s just him and I thought, his hands are constantly on me.

Not that I’m complaining.

We walked down the pier and my eyes were widened by all the beautiful booths set up, anything you could imagine- they had it.

They had henna, face paints, handmade bags, shirts, skirts, dresses, stickers, stuffed animals, and hats. It was like I was attending an art exhibit and I couldn’t look away.

Jensen chuckled causing my attention to move to him, where his eyes were staring right at me.

“What?” I whispered nervously.

He smirked and pulled me into him tightly, “You're adorable. That’s what.”

My cheeks burned red at the compliment, he was never shy of that either. Constantly telling me how cute he thought I was or how beautiful I was. I don’t think he realized how much it really meant to me. Because man, as much as I wanted to believe it, I didn’t.

We kept walking down the boardwalk, stopping for seconds to look at each booth. Jensen was checking out the handmade gemstone necklaces when my eye caught something amazing in the booth next door. 

It was a handmade beanie that said “COD” on it. Call Of Duty.

My mind thought of Kevin and what he would think if we got him this hat, would he hate it? Would he wear it? Would he think it’s ridiculous that we even bought a hat from here? I never knew with that kid. Jensen’s arms wrapped around me from behind, a light kiss on my shoulder giving me chills. “What are you looking at?”

I smiled and pointed to the hat hanging on the hook, “I’m not sure if Kevin would like that but…”

He turned me around to face him, a wide smile on his face. “He would love it.”

We grabbed the hat and went towards the cash when giggling filled my ears. My gaze fell on two girls who were standing in the booth next door, eyeing Jensen like he was a piece of meat. 

I looked back at him, who seemed unbothered, unaware of the giggles or the way they were pointing and I quickly realized that of course, he was used to this. I keep forgetting he’s a frigging celebrity. 

We paid for the hat and started to leave when the girls from before rushed over, stopping only mere inches from Jensen and me.

“Jensen!! OH MY GOD! I LOVE YOU!” One girl shrieked, causing me to jump and back up.

“Can we get a picture!! Please?” The other girl asked, she was more polite and distant, she was somebody I didn’t mind, but this other girl… I slightly wanted to hit her. It didn’t help that they both looked like models.

Jensen looked at me apologetically but I shrugged it off, I knew he was a celebrity when I met him, I should have known this type of stuff was going to happen. I just didn’t expect how intense it could be or what his fans would look like.

I grabbed the phone from the girls and took a few photos, my eyes focusing on Jensen’s bright smile and the way he wrapped his arm around each of them. 

There was a green monster overtaking my body and I hated it. My insecurities were growing fast. 

They were well dressed, beautiful, and practically flawless with their sun-kissed skin. And then there was me.

I wasn’t the type of person you’d expect to see with a celebrity. I was the one who wouldn’t be allowed on the red carpet because I don’t “Fit in”.

And my anxiety started rising, unsure of why Jensen was really with me in the first place. 

I passed the phone back to the girls and slowly turned around, continuing to walk down the boardwalk. 

Jensen caught up to me, his hand resting on my back gently. “Hey.. You okay?”

I nodded and attempted a smile, but it was no use. The panic was building with every thought that was flowing through my mind. 

Your not enough.

Your fooling yourself by thinking he would ever want to be with you.

Jensen deserves better.

He doesn’t find you attractive.

Your nothing.

“Baby?” He whispered, standing in front of me to try and get a better look at my condition. He frowned when he noticed the stray teardrop falling and the way my breathing was becoming heavy.

 I hated it. I hated that he was staring at me like this. I hated that I couldn’t control my insecurities or my worries. I hated that I wasn’t enough for him.

His hand was tight on my arm, pulling me to the stairs so we could get some privacy. I shakily sat down, throwing my head in my hands to avoid whatever pity look he was offering me. 

“Honey… Please talk to me, what’s going on?” He begged, his voice filled with concern.

Good job, now your worrying him.

I opened my mouth to speak when my breath got caught in my throat, a loud raspy cough escaping my lips causing my breathing to become faster.

“Okay… Okay deep breaths baby, you're going to be okay.”

Nice, now it’s his job to take care of you. Again. Your a burden.

“Jensen… you don’t need to… I’ll be okay.”

He moved to sit in front of me, confusion filling his face as he looked into my eyes. Noticing the fear and the sadness behind them.

“Okay, what’s going on baby? You know I’m here for you.”

I laughed lightly and shook my head, more tears rushing down my face but I didn’t care anymore. “That’s the point… you shouldn’t be.”

He tilted his head and frowned, his eyes filling with sadness of his own. “Why are you saying this?” I shook my head and put my face in my hands, hiding away from the man I really wanted to hug right now, I was trying to protect him… from me. 

“Because… I’m not worth it… Fuck, your Jensen fucking Ackles, and I am… me. It doesn’t seem quite right does it?”

His hand grabbed mine off my face, the other tilting my chin to face him better. A soft smile played on his lips as he stared in my eyes. God, his eyes.

“Says who?”

“Says everybody. Society. You seen those girls fangirling over you. When you had your arms around them, it just looked right. I can’t imagine it ever looking right if you did that to me. Because I am not a model with the perfect body and perfect face. Hell, I’ve been in LA for a while now and I still don’t have that perfect sun-kissed skin all the girls around here have.”

He laughed lightly, not like he was laughing at me, but more that he was laughing that I would even say something so ridiculous. Like it was hilarious that those words even came out of my mouth. 

“Okay, so you don’t have sun kissed skin and your not a model, who cares? I love every inch of your skin. I love that you can clearly see all the sun spots on your arms and that you don’t look like a carrot like half these ladies do. What you look like doesn’t determine your worth.”

I scoffed and tried to stand, tried to walk away from this conversation all together. “Your just pity saying that.”

He quickly grabbed my arm and spun me around so I was tight against him, his hand pushing my head on his chest in a cuddling kind of way. 

“You are enough. You are more than enough because of who you are. You never have expected anything from me, you gave me a second chance when I was nothing but a total dick to you. You helped me multiple times when you didn’t need to. And you connect with my kids so well, Kevin won’t admit it but he likes you. I’ve never seen somebody make the effort to play video games with him or try out what he wanted to do, Katie takes up all the time and I think he gets left out but you? You see him. You balance everybody and never ask for anything in return.”

I wrapped my arms around him and held him for dear life, feeling him bringing me back to the surface and he knew it. God, he knew how to read me better than anybody.

“You are always going to be enough. You are the one I want to be with. Not girls like them. They're not beautiful to me. You are beautiful. You are flawlessly, naturally gorgeous. I mean… look at you… Honey, you can stop anybody's breath.”

Jensen backed up, pulling my face up towards him before pressing his lips firmly against mine. Kissing me harder and more passionately than he’s ever done. His hands moved in my hair, pulling me impossibly closer, bodies on bodies. Heat spreading throughout our bodies. Loud breathy gasps escaped our lips whenever we separated for a second. We were falling in love, or maybe we already did. 

If he could love me like this, than maybe I am enough after all.

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! Like, comment and repost!

[cant-get-no-worse]

I like that some sensed people are still able to recognize that whether Erling Haaland or Leo Messi take the award home, it's valid. Changes from all the others ~ wave hand in a general direction ~ people. Not even to mention how past and current football figures agree on it too. Soothes my mind.

Honestly I'm just tired of talking about it, since 1) it's silly 2) it's settled 3) it's simple. Let's make it plain.

"Why not just put the goals?"

There are awards for the best goalscorer. This isn't one of them.

Brief comparison

Haaland had a maddening records breaking season, won the treble, but didn't show up for the semi and finals of those. Messi did an average club season (equal to, if I remember correctly, the "excellent" season of Antoine Griezmann so, there's that.) and an all-time World Cup campaign. It's a WC year; it has since after 2010 (year of change of criterias + voting participants) weighted on the BO's results.

The reason it's a close call this year is cause of the treble (huge weight) balanced by the ghosting of Haaland during those crucial points vs WC all time balanced by the average club season of Messi. Haaland being a 9 means that when he's not there, he doesn't do anything for the team. Stems from his position. Whereas if Messi doesn't score, he still has his passing and playmaking which, picture me surprised, actually make him having more impact as a player for his team.

Look at the pic. Make the needed mental gymnastics. To get to the conclusion that one of them is robbing the other is mental. Both are deserving.

WC's weight

It's ultimately this and the WC's weight (and I sure ain't about to get into an argument comparing the treble, insane achievement that can be achieved every year, to the WC, insane achievement that can be achieved once every four, and being the MOTT of said tournament) that makes it tip towards Messi, even though I expect the votes to be close. The WC has been held over Messi's head for more than a decade. Everyone knew that if he put a consistent season and a good WC campaign, he'd been a strong contender. He had a consistent season and had an all-time, MOTT WC campaign. Point's made.

Criteria : Vital role

Another point: the "vital role in the team and honours" criteria. Haaland makes this City team dominate, not a shadow of doubt. But Kevin de Bruyne is the one that's vital to it. Take away KDB and Haaland isn't there (once again: stems from his position. He's a 9.)

Due to his national team not being in the WC (which once again : he's indeed from Norway, a NT which hasn't much WC history. But, in 2018, Messi single handedly drew Argentina to the WC. Haaland wasn't capable of this.), he couldn't prove himself to be crucial there either. So, Haaland is important but not vital to this City team, whereas Messi was important in PSG (a-fucking-gain, 40 G/A, this isn't an argument) and vital for his NT. There you go, one criteria more.

Sweet sweet "robberies"

When you got R9, Wenger, Henry, some France NT (Griezmann and others, can't recall), Hazard, Silva and co - current/former players who played and know the weight of the WC - saying Messi deserves it; the club coach of Haaland saying they'd both deserve it ; and you arrive to the conclusion that Messi is robbing Haaland (or, for that matter, that Haaland would be robbing Messi), then the true reason of your positionning can't be clearer.

And finally,

Those are what you call robberies. Can't be one when both deserve it. Haaland will be just fine and will have plenty of WC-free seasons to destroy every records available and show up at crucial points. Chill. I'm done talking about this, people are to stuck to their own opinions to be changed atp.

This is a fun night, I'm so ready to make fun of everyone's fit and awkward talk. It ain't that deep. Hope everyone, whether for Haaland, Messi or bloody Musiala has fun!