Did I stay up literally all night in hopes of fixing my sleep schedule tonight by being so absolutely exhausted that I will have no choice but to sleep at a reasonable hour? Yes.
Did I think this through at all? No.
Is this healthy? Beats me, I'm not a doctor.
Bit did I roll out of bed at a bright and early 6:00 AM and immediately set things out for my breakfast and started on my laundry? Also yes.
So far a lack of sleep has done what coffee only wishes it could do for me in the morning. I am awake I am alert I am ready to go.
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Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn
Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished
And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue
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Been thinking about how it feels, being the wild child
the struggle of not feeling human, when emotions get too strong,
when hands feel like paws and teeth become fangs, shoulders and hunches raised in anger and low growls of fear,
somehow this body language is easier, is more natural than my own
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sorry but i'm going to need everyone to stop writing autistic / "gifted" (in quotes because i hate that term) characters who were little baby geniuses that skipped grades and graduated as valedictorian and were every teacher's pet because it's the most unrealistic shit ever and kind of just perpetuates this ableist misconception when in reality most autistic / gifted kids are more likely to be abused and exploited and bullied (both by peers and teachers), especially if they are not rich and especially if they are not white
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A few people have compared some of my Soltober drawings this year to characters from other things and like I don't watch TV, keep up with Youtubers, have a Tiktok, or play hardly any video games so I see these comments and it might as well be in Simlish lol "This looks just like Johnrick Sprunkle from Neko no Tabemono Adventure." I don't know what that is. How am I expected to reply to that?? "Ok that's cool" ??????
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So, I met my nurse today and she said I'm finally getting scheduled for the ADHD testing on Dec 18th—after all these years. Albeit she said that it may not change a thing, but it's good to test it anyway.
I also had a discussion with my teacher today about my problems and we went through some stuff, and I might feel a little bit more enlightened about some things, which will hopefully help me.
Still. I'm having trouble with planning some stuff at my workplace because the staff there simply doesn't have time, and my instructor is also a very busy person (plus she's fussy and impatient and a little upset/disappointed with me which is not making it any easier for me), so that is still giving me a lot of stress right now.
So, I don't know. On the other hand, one teacher says I'm doing a good job and that I shouldn't quit. Then again, this particular school and their style of teaching simply might not be the thing for me and I expressed that concern today as well. I need help getting through with some stuff and nobody has time for me, so it's obviously not good.
I also need to find another place to train soon and that workplace would have to be something where I wouldn't have to manage 15 things at the same time and well. Finding that could be a challenge, too.
But. I suppose we're going somewhere.
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