#kids dont grow up please😭😭😭😭

[rainbowbeanstyles]

bro.

[guinevereslancelot]

i am unknowable and incapable of love goodnight <3

[trash-iest]

Another year closer to 25 🤡

[reidrum]

if you keep asking | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x fem!bau!reader

a/n: this was requested with “if you keep asking me i’m not gonna be okay” or smth along the lines 😭 i am a glutton for hurt/comfort fics so if yall have any more requests send em in :)

summary: in which you’re trying to keep it together when you hear some detectives talking ill of you, and spencer isn’t gonna have it

cw: hurt/comfort, self deprecation, insecure!reader, bitch ass detectives, protective bau my heart, use of she/her pronouns

wc: 2.2k

_______

the bau team was filing into the bullpen after landing from their last case in seattle, everyone making a beeline for their desks to get a head start on their reports so they could go home faster. everyone, except you. it felt like you were on autopilot, remembering your last known movements and just repeating them for as long as you could.

the case in seattle was rough to say the least. the unsub’s mo seemed to change every minute, making any progress the team made obsolete. the only thing that seemed to be somewhat consistent was where the unsub was taking his victims, which meant the geographical profile was the most important part to solving the case, a task you and reid were assigned to.

it started off fine, you both had found the comfort zone of where the unsub would strike next to figure out how to catch him in the act. except the next time he struck it was completely out of the predicted range, and this time a kid had died. no one could have anticipated that happening. it didn’t make the loss hurt any less.

the team knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault, humans are unpredictable, and that includes serial killers. spencer made sure to tell you specifically that it wasn’t your fault, he knew how you’d get if someone didn’t tell you.

his efforts went to utter waste when you walked by a room at the precinct with detectives whispering about how “you fucked up the whole profile, that’s why that kid died” and “it’s clear you make the team stupider, how did you even get into the fbi in the first place?”

it wasn’t the first time your abilities were in question. you were the newest member of the team, having only transferred six months ago from cold cases. you may be new to the field, but there was a reason hotch chose you personally for the bau.

you tried hard to prove yourself, despite pretty much everyone saying your skillset was enough proof. you’d stay late to finish reports, do extra research on cases to help garcia narrow her searches faster, and you spent countless hours at the training range.

you were a worthy agent, anyone who knew you or read your resume knew that. but right now, you felt like the smallest person on earth, an imposter. what the hell were you even doing here if you couldn’t save him.

you shouldn’t be allowed to feel relief that the team caught the unsub, not when there’s blood on your hands.

the bad thoughts swirling in your head causes you to stall your motions when you’re putting files away, gaining the attention of morgan, “you alright, sweet cheeks?”

“i’m good morgan, don’t worry.” you lie effortlessly. if he can tell you’re lying, he doesn’t mention it and turns back to his work.

taking a deep breath, you stand up to go to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, when you run into jj finishing up making her own, “i was just thinking about you, i got this new creamer i think you’d rea-, hey, are you okay?” jj starts but ends concerned.

you try to focus on metronomic tick of the clock so you dont escalate, “i’m fine j,” you laugh unconvincingly, “what creamer did you get?”

she ignores your question, “because i know that was a tough case, and if you need to talk about it with someo-“

“jj, drop it, please.”

the blonde’s face drops a little at your sternness, but respects your space and offers you to try the creamer before returning to her desk. you feel bad for snapping at her, but the growing guilt within you is giving you apathy, and you can’t bring yourself to care at this moment.

you linger in the kitchen so as to avoid any more concerned faces, and you’re left to your own devices that are slowly overtaking you.

unbeknownst to you, spencer had been watching you since you all landed back in quantico. he kept his distance, mostly because he knew how overwhelmed you get at confrontation, especially about your emotions. he was the same way, a man of logic getting befuddled by emotion was enough cognitive dissonance to last a long time.

he knew it was different with you. you had a way of internalizing everything in your surrounding, a downfall to your endless empathy for others even if they never deserve it. he could explain the logic behind your beliefs, and hopefully use facts to help you relax, but that was the other thing he knew about you; you were stubborn. asking for help is something you hated doing, and if it wasn’t on your accord to be asking, it was even more detrimental to your mood.

so when he watched you duck out from the kitchen and push past the glass doors of the bullpen, he knew you were reaching the head of your doom spiral quickly.

spencer got up from his desk, “i’m gonna go check on her.”

jj nodded, “just be mindful spence, something feels different.”

they’d all been on cases that hit a little too close to home, how could they not when all they do is rid the world of the evilest of evildoers. but after a good cry, a rant to a teammate, or even an emergency therapy session, even the worst of the scum could be washed away.

something about the way you’ve been acting since they landed seemed like those fixits aren’t going to work this time.

he let out a sigh in response and walked out of the bullpen, realizing he didn’t actually know which direction you went in. assuming you’d want to be alone, he thinks the bathroom might’ve been a viable option for you and heads towards it.

the nice thing about the seventh floor is that it’s only for the bau, the bullpen was where the team spent most of their time but outside the doors there were so many empty rooms being used for storage.

so as spencer walked towards the bathroom in the hopes of finding you, his ears pick up on a tiny sniffle a little ways before it. he stops in his tracks, hoping he was just hearing things. but another pained sob rang through the door on his left, and he knew he’d found you.

he rapps the door a few times, softly calling your name, “hey, it’s spencer…can i come in please?”

you were on the other side sitting at one of the abandoned desks with your head down, but shot up at hearing spencer’s voice, “i- i’m fine i just needed a minute. i’ll be back in like two minutes, i promise.” you angrily wipe at the tears pooling on your face, grateful that you took your makeup off in the plane.

“honey, that’s not what i asked,” he starts, “is it okay if i come in?

your heart clenches at the term of endearment as you stare at the door knowing he was waiting for your okay to come in, and you start to internally weigh your options. you could let him in, and let him in to do whatever comforting you know logically would help. or you could lie, and feign ignorance to the end.

don’t they say ignorance is bliss?

you make sure to wipe the last of your tears and your runny nose before practicing a few fake smiles so it didn’t look like your face was frozen in sadness for the last thirty minutes. turning the knob you swing the door open, borderline creepy smile on your face as you greet the man, “hi dr. reid! was there something you were looking for?”

he furrows his brows at your complete (fake) shift in mood, but he comes in and shuts the door behind him, and moves to stand a few feet from you, “what’s going on?”

“nothing spence, i’m fine.” you insist.

spencer thinks if you could be more see through you’d be a windexed window. you’re avoiding eye contact with him, picking at the skin of your thumb, he can see your nose is red most likely from all the tissue blowing, and your eyes are still puffy and lined with some unshed tears still. you are so clearly breaking at the seams, like an old childhood teddy bear with stuffing falling out the sides yet hoping you can offer some semblance of stability despite your state.

“you don’t look fine, honey. why won’t you tell me what’s bothering you?”

his words almost make you falter, and you think the walls you built so high are starting to chip down. “it’s not a big deal spence, i-,” a hiccuped breath gives you away, “i can deal with it on my own.”

spencer instinctively shortens the gap between you two, “you shouldn’t have to. i just wanna help you.”

“but i’m oka-“

“no you’re not.”

there is only one tiny thin thread left holding you together. “well,” you take a deep inhale and your voice gets impossibly small, “if you keep saying things like to me i’m not gonna be okay.”

“that’s why i���m here.” he says softly.

you look up at him with the biggest glassy doe eyed look he’s ever seen, and it’s like spencer can hear the snap of the thread in real time when he watches your face absolutely crumble. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into his embrace, allowing him to hold your head down in the middle of his chest while his other hand smooths up and down your back in comfort.

“i know, shh, hey it’s okay, i got you.” he comforts.

your hands wrap around his waist beneath his suit jacket and you keep your face buried in his chest, inhaling the musky vanilla scent of his cologne mixed with the fresh laundry detergent smell letting it ground you back to him.

“i’m sorry.” you cry.

“don’t say that,” he hushes, “is it about the case?” you nod in his embrace, “we talked about it remember? there was nothing we could have done. we did everything right, sometimes it just doesn’t work out, you know that.” he moves his hand to tangle in your hair and rub your head.

“i- i know,” you say through labored breaths. you take a big breath before admitting the true reason for your anguish, “when we were about to leave, i walked by a room with some detectives talking about how i ruined the case and that…i’m the reason the kid died.”

“what?” he pulls back to look you in the eyes hoping to find any indication that you didn’t believe those poisoned words, “we both worked on that geographical profile together, the whole team agreed it was accurate and acted accordingly. what happened was not your fault. at all.” he emphasizes the last two words.

“yeah but…i don’t know maybe i could ha-“

“stop. you can’t do that to yourself. we did what we could with what we had, the burden of that child’s passing does not fall on you. we were only able to find the unsub’s hiding spot when you figured out he’d been going to the same gas station since the murders started.” he reinforced to you.

“they said that they didn’t know how i even got into the academy in the first place, and that i make the team stupider.” you quietly added.

spencer felt the rage consume his body, already planning the ways he was going to obliterate seattle pd. he cradled your head to look at him in the eyes, “listen to me. you are an important asset to this team. you make this team better at what they do, you make me better at what i do. you mean so much to me and the team okay? please don’t forget that.”

he swipes at a fallen tear on your cheek as you tell him between sniffles, “thanks spence…” you hope he understands the sentiment and love you’re trying to exude to him, even thought you’re unable to vocalize it.

“you gotta tell me if something like that happens,” he softly scolds you, “i’ll make sure they lose their fucking jobs.”

you’re about to speak when he cuts you off, “and don’t tell me that we should be the bigger people, because once the rest of the team hears about this, they’re all gonna be fighting over who’s gonna kick the shit out of them.”

you let out a tearful giggle, “you sound really funny when you curse.”

he scoffs, “what the hell, i do not!”

“you sound like a baby duckling that just learned how to say fuck.”

he starts to guide you out of the room and towards hotch’s office so you can recount what happened, “ouch, i’m hurt. i’d like to think the pistol and fbi badge i carry makes me intimidating.”

you giggle again, and spencer puts aside his rage to revel in the fact that you’re feeling better.

when hotch learned of what happened he immediately called seattle pd to file a motion to get those detectives fired, and the rest of the team were secretly praying for a case in seattle again so they could, as spencer predicted, kick the shit out of them.

[kindestofkings]

what came first, the chicken or the dickhead? [3/3]

[smau]

f1driver!reader x lando norris

authors note: book a dentist app guys this shit is sweet !

yourusername 

liked by landonorris and others 

yourusername 😭 🥺 guys I, I, I just won at my home race with my best friend alongside me. those two kids dreamed of days like these. lan you next 💓

to the tifosi for your unyielding support, to scuderiaferrari for helping me achieve things like this, and to charlie the best teammate a girl could ask for <3

view all 890 comments

landonorris so proud of you luv but PLEASE let me win soon, we dont need another max situation

yourusername lando tries to be sentimental challenge: FAILED f1fan hahahaha mate please grow up and make a move !

danielricciardo incredible stuff mate! landonorris you were so cute, what happened?

landonorris ha ha ha 😑

​​taylorswift you are killing it girl !! I see you're stateside later this year maybe you could join us at the era's tour?

yourusername 😀😀😀 I need someone to confirm this is real, landooooooooo landonorris its real so please stop hyperventilating in you drivers room alex_albon do you forget you have millions of followers and a mega superstar yourself?? yourusername and what she's TAYLOR SWIFT. she writes works of art like folklore and i drive in circles. alex_albon AT A VERY INSANE SPEED learn your worth please ynfan1 you did so well with him lilymhe

maxfewtrell you know what they say couples who win together stay together !

[this comment has been deleted]

ynfan2 max you are not quick enough for me I saw that 👀👀

taylorswiftupdates

liked by ynlando4ever and others

taylorswiftupdates after a long time of online interactions the f1 ferrari driver yourusername was at tonights show!! it appears the driver was joined with fellow drivers lando norris,charles leclerc and daniel ricciardo.

view all 20 comments

ynfan1 can you imagine your favourite singer of all time making that face at you 🥺

ynfan2 and she got one of tonights secret song dedicated to her aswell!!

ynfan3 no way really!! what was it ynfan2 it was randomly Crazier, the song taylor sang in the hannah montana film 😂

landonorris

 liked by yourusername and others 

landonorris hope you enjoyed your birthday cause you're never receiving another birthday present again. why WHY is your favourite taylor swift song so obscure??

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yourusername you are the best of the best of the best of the BEST

​​taylorswift you guys are the most adorable 🥺

charles_leclerc cause shes a country girl at heart come you know this 😂

yourusername ahem country girls shake it for me 🤠

ynlando4ever GUYS HE GOT TAYLOR TO SING HER FAVOURITE SONG THEY ARE IN LOVE!!!!

yourusername posted on their story:

eras tour READY

I lied nothing could've prepared me for this ....

replies

taylorswift so glad you could come and enjoy 💓💓 that boy of yours is such a cutie.. yourusername he's a keeper for sure! hate keeping it all so secretive but like someone amazing once sang romance is not dead if you keep it just yours 😂 ❤️

yourusername

 liked by landonorris and others

yourusername I dont do tiktok but I love the its all too much for little lando norris cause he falls asleep during my taylor swift rants 😤

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landonorris EHHHHH DONT THINK YOU MEANT THAT LAST ONE RIGHT BABE?

ynfan1 BABE?? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMENTS yourusername oh fuck lan landonorris HA and you said it be me who would out us ynfan2 US? theres an us??

yncharlesshipper what happened to charlie??

ynlando4ever VICTORY

danielricciardo hahahahahah wait why does norizz look kinda ??

landonorris you can say it 😏😏

yourusername OKAY Y'ALL CAUGHT ME WE'RE NOT JUST FRIENDS! SHOOT ME LOOK AT HIM!!!

landonorris LOOK AT YOUUUUU ynfan1 k im obsessed with them even more now

landonorris

liked by yourusername and others

landonorris since she messed up I can FINALLY show off how I got the girl 2 years ago 😎

happy to announce i'm accepting apologises for all those norizz comments cause LOOK at who's my girl

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yourusername thats right baby your girl !!

maxfewtrell FINALLY

danielricciardo agreed, and you're never hearing anything from me norizz alex_albon still in shock carlossainz55 can relax now, yn is scary

charles_leclerc we got there eventually! looking forward to not being shipped with you now yourusername 😂😂

yourusername I don't know what you're talking about I'm a catch!

yourusername

 liked by mclaren and others

yourusername car failures are a teams worse nightmare and unfortunately my hard truth for today's race in Singapore 💔 being ruled out during the formation lap is something I hope to never experience again, so sorry for disappointing everyone and the team!

ON ANOTHER NOTE its time for a hardlaunch cause LOOK WHO JUST GOT HIS FIRST WIN! congrats bro 😎 👍❤️‍🔥 💖

view all 290 comments 

scuderiaferrari could never disappointment, we win as a team and lose as a team!

yourusername you guys xx ynfan1 the teams support never fails to make me emosh, all you that deserve!!

f1fan still a slay in my eyes!

landonorris the use of bro here is conflicting to all the pride driven kisses i've been getting 🤔🤔

f1fanupdates

liked by f1fan1 and others

f1fanupdates gasly is once again providing all the drama for the viewers! after another dnf the alphatauri driver made a jab at mclaren's first driver, lando norris...

view all 90 comments

f1fan1 why have one feud with a driver when you can have 2!! right pierre?

ynfan2 man is just realising he can't blame yn anymore so he's picking on lando

ynfan3 do you think its all related? like continuous beef that all links back to her?

landonorris

liked by yourusername and others

landonorris the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake

japan its been real!

view all 473 comments

pierregasly imagine being this cocky all while being overshadowed by your rookie teammate

landonorris imagine ruining your own career because a girl told you she didn't want to go out with you pierregasly if shes going out with the likes of you, think I dodged a bullet landonorris do you or do you not have a girlfriend rn? yourusername enough of this. pierre you are a broken record stfu and focus on your driving

ynfan1 OH MY GOD its all clicking, all this mess cause of a bruised ego...

ynfan2 men being men ugh

yourusername tay tay 🥺🥺 in your caption 🥺 love you

landonorris and the edit! i want all the brownie points baby 😏

danielricciardo MY EX-MAN BROUGHT HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND SHE'S LIKE

yourusername "OH MY GOD," BUT I'M JUST GONNA SHAKE IT charles_leclerc AND TO THE FELLA OVER THERE WITH THE HELLA GOOD HAIR maxverstappen1 WON'T YOU COME ON OVER, BABY? WE CAN SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE landonorris wow wdc winner with the taylor swift lyrics in my comments??

ynfan1 OH MY GOD its all clicking, all this mess cause of a bruised ego...

yourusername posted on their story:

my man my man my man 💓

landonorris where gasly wishes he could be 👀 landonorris love love love you

AHH I hope this was worth the wait guys!! the beef is so squashed in but I was consumed be the full by then lol

-finished-

[3/3]

taglist:

@vellicoranorca @toasttt11 @dzastinocha @dzastinocha @landosgirlxoxo @2bormaybenot @jpg3 @celestialams @dreamsarebig @dreamercrowd @dracosswhore @kissesandmartinis @inejismywife

weirdly couldnt tag everyone sorry !!

[mirkoluvs]

★ JJK SMAU - DATING SATORU GOJO

notes: these are actually sm fun to make omg 😭 request box has been opened again !!

→ geto ver. !!

♥︎ liked by thestrongest, yuj1tadori, shokoko, kenton, and others…

y/nstivies: meet our son !

tagged: thestrongest

thestrongest: im such a proud father 😭😭😭🥺🤍

shokoko: this is disgusting i feel sick

↳ thestrongest: good thing you’re a nurse you hater.

↳ shokoko: i lost my diploma

↳ thestrongest: ok.

yuj1tadori: IM AN UNCLE 🎉🎉🎉🎉

liked by y/nstivites and thestrongest

↳ itgirlsaki: would that make you megumis uncle

↳ megumifushiguro: do not.

↳ yuj1tadori: i could be if he wants

↳ megumifushiguro: i promise you i don’t want that

kenton: don’t you already have a kid?

↳ thestrongest: no???

↳ kenton: fushiguro???

↳ thestrongest: i pushed this one out of my womb tho

↳ kenton: deleting this whole thread.

megumifushiguro: are you replacing me with a stuffed animal rn

↳ y/nstivies: megumi this is your new sibling!

↳ megumifushiguro: stop.

itgirlsaki: ugly ass kid

↳ thestrongest: DONT SPEAK ON MY CHILD LIKE THAT AGAIN?

↳ itgirlsaki: the way you never defend megumi this hard when i call him ugly

↳ thestrongest: i defend him mentally

♥︎ liked by thestrongest, utahim3, shokoko, kenton, and others…

y/nstivies: MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

tagged: thestrongest

thestrongest: MY GIRL MY GIRL MY GIRL MY GIRL

utahim3: how much do you wanna bet hes just going to go pick up mcdonalds

↳ shokoko: LMFAOOAO

↳ y/nstivies: howd you know 😕

↳ utahim3: because it’s gojo.

↳ y/nstivies: yeah you have a point

↳ thestrongest: WDYM SHE HAS A POINT???

liked by y/nstivies, shokoko, and utahim3

shokoko: he does not need that waist

↳ y/nstivies: THATS WHAT I SAY EVERY SINGLE DAY

↳ shokoko: this is unjust…

yuj1tadori: i want to be gojo when i grow up

liked by thestrongest

↳ megumifushiguro: you need to dream bigger

↳ itgirlsaki: DONT ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS 🔥🔥

↳ thestrongest: you guys are the meanest students ever.

♥︎ liked by yuj1tadori, megumifushiguro, shokoko, itgirlsaki, and others…

thestrongest: i love my gf more than any other man could love their gf (thanks nanami) 😜

tagged: y/nstivies

itgirlsaki: no way you made nanami third wheel on your date

↳ thestrongest: he actually took this by his own will because he adores me and y/n

↳ kenton: no i didnt.

↳ thestrongest: notice how he didn’t deny that he adores us

↳ kenton: i like y/n, not you.

↳ thestrongest: ignoring that we love you too nanami 🤍

shokoko: you don’t even drink??

↳ y/nstivies: he ordered water in shot glasses the whole time 🙁

↳ shokoko: LMFAOOAOOO

↳ thestrongest: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY BETWEEN US???

↳ y/nstivies: oops (you have to forgive me)

↳ thestrongest: …

© mirkoluvs. please do not copy, modify, or repost on other platforms. thank you !!

[roseboysstuff]

Can i please have a continuation with the baby trapping fic? Its so good😭😭 I wonder like how would reader react when he got impregnated by his leon, maybe he got angry that he's pregnant with his step father's kids but leon just fucks him dumb again to show him who's the dominant one??😭😭 Feel free to ignore this if you dont want to make it☺️

I am more than happy to oblige with a continuation I'm glad you enjoyed it hehe Step dad Leon babytrapping his ftm stepson part 2 Also forgive some mistakes in this, I have no idea how pregnancy works lol Dub/noncon warning again

It had been three weeks since Leon had fucked you dumb, and the last few days had been hell. You had woken up every morning, throwing your guts up. Leon had been there, rubbing your back as you vomited into the toilet. You didn't see the wide grin on his face, but you did notice the pregnancy test he gave you. "Just in case, baby boy." And so you were sat there, staring at the positive on the test. And this time, you noticed his grin. He had done this on purpose. "You got me pregnant? Why?" "Because you're mine. And I'm never letting you leave. I'll keep you swollen with my kids until you learn your place." Your face turned red with anger, and you threw the pregnancy test at his face. He didn't seem to react, his grin only growing wider as he imagined you barefoot and pregnant, being his little husband. You tried to walk away from him, when he grabbed your arm and shoved you against the wall, his lips instantly attacking your neck. All you could do was squeal and try to squirm, but his grip was tight and firm, not allowing you any room to move. You could tell he was determined to make you his again. "I'll never forgive you, Leon. Just let me go." To which he just laughed and kissed you hard on the lips, his tongue taking advantage of your little gasps to invade your mouth, and you could barely think as he groped your body. "I won't let you forget who you belong to, who is in charge." With that, he picks you up, simply smiling at your attempts to escape, and throws you down on the bed, tying your hands to the headboard as he did those weeks ago when he enacted his plan. He had fucked you dumb then, and he was going to do it again. To your chagrin, your cunt was already dripping wet with excitement, and he took that as a sign to continue. He started fingering you open, kissing your lips to silence any protests. He knew what's best for you, after all. You needed to be his, you needed to let him look after you, you needed to bear his children. And he couldn't wait to watch your belly grow. "Sh, baby boy. Be a good boy and let your step daddy have this." He ignored your protests as he stuffed your pussy full of his cock, and he relished in the way it tightened around him, as if welcoming him in. This was where he belonged, fucking you dumb, stuffing you with his cum until you felt so full. Part of you was in heaven, the feeling of his cock inside you giving you such intense pleasure. Another part of you was distraught, you were now pregnant with your step dad's child, and while you knew it wasn't right, you should run away, that thought did make you slightly happy. And so as he fucked you into the mattress again, you felt the intense sensation of your orgasm building up, and you came all over his cock, a loud scream of his name being the only coherent noise you could make. He didn't stop though, fucking you through your orgasm in a way that made you tremble and whine. He wasn't planning on stopping until he was sure you were going to be a compliant good boy, and stay with him. Once you were drooling and moaning, he finally allowed himself to climax inside you, filling you again with the same seed that had impregnated you 3 weeks ago.

[luvhughes43]

daddy? | dad!trevor zegras x reader

luvhughes43 masterlist🌙

request: Could I please request a Trevor fic? Maybe taking place rn where he posts a picture of his girlfriend and their two freshly born twin girls? Like he kept his gf and the pregnancy a secret but decides to just announce I after they are born and everyone sort of losses it? Could just be fluffy but for a little more angst the public reacts badly because he is somewhat young and his public persona doesn’t scream “responsible dad” to them.

trevorzegras

liked by ynuser, jackhughes, jamie.drysdale, and others

trevorzegras 03/08/23 💗💗

tagged: ynuser

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jackhughes best kept secret of all time

jamie.drysdale dad

jackhughes daddy

liked by trevorzegras

ynuser ❤️❤️❤️

user11 who let trevor fcking zegras get them pregnant😭😭😭

user44 FRRR😭😭😭😭 

user38 trevor has..k..kids… and they’re not mine? this doesn’t seem right 

user99 i’m sorry is anyone else concerned for these kids? like trevor is so unserious and he’s also in the nhl.. like how is he going to take care of them? he can barely drive a car and now he has TWINS?? with a girl weve never even seen either? he probably got her pregnant during a 1 night stand and is just now taking responsibility because he can get attention from it...

user73 ??? do u know trevor personally? maybe yn likes her privacy? u don’t know their lives. i’m sure he’s a great dad. u don’t have to be so hateful over people you do. not. know.

user61 uhmmm… okay…

user12 what ?

user61 he’s barely 22 how’s hes gonna be a good dad? to twins no less. boy only cares about hockey and his weed😭 he’s not gonna be a father to nobody’s kids even if she is really pretty😭😭😭

a few months later...

ynuser

liked by trevorzegras, jackhughes, and others

ynuser nothing but smiles🫶

tagged: trevorzegras

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trevorzegras my whole heart❤️

ynuser we love you so much!

_quinnhughes the cutest kids

liked by ynuser, and trevorzegras

user88 quinn hates trevor but he loves the kids😭😭

_quinnhughes the kids haven’t done anything wrong

trevorzegras ?? what i have done wrong😭😭

_quinnhughes be annoying❤️

user55 awwww😭😭😭😭🫶🫶

trevorzegras

liked by ynuser, colecaufield, lhughes_06, and others

trevorzegras the babies are growing up🥲❤️

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ynuser theyre getting so big🥹🥹

trevorzegras i need them to stop growing fr

jackhughes can u bring them over soon? they dont like when i watch bluey without them

user22 JACK A BLUEY STAN CONFIRMED???

trevorzegras jackhughes 🫡🫡

ynuser

liked by trevorzegras, jamie.drysdale, jackhughes, and others

ynuser mom and dad night out🥂

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trevorzegras my love❤️

ynuser ❤️❤️

jamie.drysdale please go out more so i can babysit the kids

trevorzegras its not even fair they behave so well for u😭

ynuser jamies the baby whisperer fr

user10 STOPP jamie babysits for them?? thats so cute wtff

user41 notice how hes on his phone.. yeah he doesnt like her at all😭

ynuser he was taking pictures of me? lol

user11 u guys are so cute together im ngl lie😭

user87 MOM AND DAD

[imintoomanyfandomscuzihaveadhd]

Random ass spider headcanons that are in my maladaptive daydream

Warning: Not proof read, Cussing, probably OOC, acro ace kiri, mentions of AOT,

First and foremost FUCK HIS FOSTER FAMILY UNCLE NORM RAISED SPIDER 😤

His pain tolerance is through the roof. Like he fell out of a tree and was confused on why Lo’ak was freaking out, he looked down and was like “oh my leg’s broke”

He also like never gets sick but when he does it’s bad

Poor baby got abandonment and anger issues 😭

Probably projecting but he’s got ADHD. It was worse when he was little but he still has his hyper manic episodes

This boy radiates so much heat it’s not even funny

HE CAN SING 😩 AND PLAY THE GUITAR 😫

However he can’t dance worth shit💀 all he can do is a awkward shuffle

Projecting (again) but he tries to take care of his hair but gives up really easily. Like he will have a solid hair routine for like a week and just forgets about it instantly

subconsciously brings samples back to the lab.

This poor boy is touch starved please give him a hug

Most of the young Na’vi kids love him despite their parents distaste

Secretly watches his parents video diaries but pretends like he never wants to see them especially his dads

Him and norm watch old anime and superhero movies that was saved on drives

His hair grows hella fast

He’s a very fast learner

He knows Spanish definitely can and will cuss anybody who doesn’t understand it out

Lyle: “SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE’S SAYING I DONT SPEAK TACO BELL”

Lopez:😭🤣

Has crazy ass sleepwalking spells. Like everyone in the lab literally couldn’t find him. Norm decided he would go avatar to look for spider outside and spider was dead ass asleep in the pod💀

He also sleeps like a rock like the whole lab could get blown away and he would still be sleeping

Morning boi. Like why is he up at 5:30am eating breakfast watching old Pokémon reruns on a Wednesday 🤨

His room is a disaster

Steals avatar/recom clothes

Norm: “Spider, give me back my shirt it’s like 6x your size”

Spider, who looks like a toddler cuz the shirt is so big: “So? You just jealous I look hotter than you in it🙄”

I feel like there’s random period where spider will just wonder off into the forest when he’s not feeling mentally well. And it’s ok because he got the ewya armor

Like he’s found his own secret caves and groves to go to when he’s upset or just wants to be alone

Him and loak once stole the Navi equivalent to alcohol, got drunk and Jake beat their ass

Helps teach Navi kids English

Him, loak, kiri, havin waifu talk after spider showed them the wonderful world of anime

Lo’ak: “historia is top tier”

Spider: “man fuck historia have you seen ANNIE AND MIKASA 😩”What can I say man loves him a strong woman

Kiri: “acro ace vibing with hange”

Boy’s oblivious as hell

omeone will flirt with him and 3 day later while he’s chilling in the lab he’ll go: “HOLY SHIT……THEY WERE FLIRTING WITH ME-”

The waifu one was based off these videos here

@hyperfixatedfandomer @naavispider @today-or-tumble

[lonelymoonrambles]

I just finished watching season 3 of ds9 for the first time and here are my thoughts:

- everybody has a crush on kira but she's loyal to her hot priest boyfriend, worm girlfriend and slime bestie

- Garak is flirting so hard with you Julian, let him make you a dress please

- Rom is just a wholesome lil guy!?!! 🥺

- Miles is dating Julian while Keiko is away confirmed (Keiko suggested it)

- Odo, babe, dont pine after Kira, Quark is right there! Hiding around the corner hoping you'll pass by (about to say something extremely gay to you)

(ok but seriously Quark and Odo have some of the gayest dialogue I've ever heard)

- Lwaxana Troi, you will always be famous

- rip hot priest 🙏😔 you had a sad energy that I really liked

- Ensign Vilix'pran: a single dad who works two jobs, who loves his kids and never stops

- Nog!!? That's why he needed to go to school 😭🥺

- I do not support Sisko hooking up with the mirror counterparts of his subordinates 🥰

- crazy long hair mirror Julian can get it

- I miss Keiko :(

- Enebran Tain looks like his name should be "Mike" or "Joe" (I can't explain this thought)

- did 👏 Odo 👏 ask 👏 Garak 👏 out 👏 on 👏 a 👏 date 👏 ???!!!??

- Sisko's midlife crisis episode lmaoooo

- Dukat, you are not slick with those fireworks for Sisko... 😏

- People I think Jadzia Dax has hooked up with: everyone

- Rom defending his son and telling Quark he'll burn down the bar *chefs kiss*

- I really thought there was gonna be another Tuvix situation and they were gonna murder Curzon/Odo

- every season my love for the show grows, and so does the ds9 polycule

[b-00-biez]

Hello! I love your works ^^

Ok, so what if the slashers (You can pick any slashers you'd like!) had an S/o that was extremely talkative and a bit loud, also gets excited to talk about the interests they love so much?

If you don't feel up for it please don't feel forced to do so <3 or please ignore this, have a good day!

Fr like me lmao

Slashers with a talkative S/O

characters: Thomas hewitt, brahms heelshire, Vincent Sinclair, Michael Myers

Thomas Hewitt

Its his past time listening to you while he works or doing chores

Like its crazy how youre talking about animal crossing while he chainsaws a victim 😭

Although if hes not doing work he would throw you on his lap and listen to you talk for hours until dinner

If hoyt ever says something about how annoying you are he would send a glare right back at him

He absolutely loves you and loves how you're comfortable with him talking so much about your life and interests

but dont be too loud only if hes not working

He doesnt want hoyt nagging him about focusing

So he asks you to reserve the loudness when hes not working or just chilling with you

He REALLY loves when you talk right before yall go to sleep

It makes him relax and hearing your voice is like music to him🥺

Brahms Heelshire

Before brahms could ever show himself to you you'd talk to the doll a lot

Like about your day, funny things that happened when you were in school, your hobbies

He feels like hes talking to you and finds you interesting

Its all when you found out about brahms being alive because he kept stealing your stuff

Like half of your luggage is gone

and you scolded the doll😭😭 the funny thing is after that all your stuff starts coming back

So after he reveals himself and asks for a kiss

You tucked him in bed and talked to him for hours he would appreciate a good night sleep and continue it tomorrow!

So tomorrow comes he loves listening to you at breakfast It's like hes a normal kid again

He loves knowing what you like so that one day he would also experience that with you

He also likes listening to stories about your childhood although he doesn't have much to share.

Vincent Sinclair

He thinks its pretty neat

He finds it boring being alone in the studio with all the artworks he has

and its nice to have someone other than his brothers checking up on him

If you both have similar likes he would absolutely be happy to listen to you everyday

Just like thomas he would listen to you like a radio or background music while he works

He puts you beside him or on his lap holding your waist while you talk his ear off about absolutely anything

Although dont be too loud

He would like a moderate speaking voice from time to time but if youre excited about something go ahead

Just dont be too loud often, he cant concentrate if theres too much going on

If hes not working he would either lay on your lap or lay you on his lap while you talk about anything to him

He would brush your hair or just massage your head while you do so

Michael Myers

This old man cant keep up and half of the words that left your mouth just gone through one ear and out the other for this one

He appreciates peace and quiet and would love to listen to you at the same time but once you grow old like him hes all grumpy

So to him all he can hear is "blah blah blah.." and would only hold onto key words

If you're talking about someone he will not remember who they are or any other details about them

He would act like hes listening but once you ask him if hes still listening you can hear him fucking snore😭😭

so your solution is to talk a bit louder which kept him awake half of the time

When he doesn't mind or is in a good mood

He would just listen to you blabber when making dinner, lunch or when hes too tired to stop you and too lazy to even get up and leave

When hes not in the mood he would just put his hand on your mouth and just stare at you blankly

👁️👁️ "stop"

And youll be like

👁️👄👁️

This fucking dick puts on your favorite movie to make you shut up too like youre going on about something and you just hear your favorite series playing

[thirstingfortoxicmen]

Can I request an Ominis Gaunt x Male Reader? Where the reader is really pent up and just needs a break and Ominis gladly helps reader turn his brain off. (Dom Ominis and Sub Reader) please

Yes absolutely 👍 just a warning ive never done sub reader so... we shall see how this goes! (also it deleted my progress so this is me starting over😭)

(oneshot) 🔞🔞🔞

You feel so Beautiful🔞

Dom Ominis x Sub male Reader

(not my photo)

---

“ughhhhhh…” WHAM! my head hits the desk, rather hard but alas still not enough to swindle my headache. Unfortunately, I had woken up with a headache and people have been feeling extra dumb today, which was not helping. I squeeze my eyes tightly closed and hope to Merlin everyone goes away so I can pass away… swiftly… please? I quickly realize there is no god as i get a rude tapping on my shoulder. I take a deep breath in and raise my head from my desk only to find… the godstones kid again.

Dear Merlin I swear if thi- she interrupts me before I can spit my thoughts out, “I need your help, some kids took my gobstones again.” I deadpan.

“Have you even looked yourself, because last time i helped you it took me no less than 5 minutes, basic magic, and simple common sense.” I ask, headache brewing up a storm of death and suffering.

Her face flushing at the (accurate) accusation, “I- well its just- umm… no.” She practically mumbles the last part, she starts shuffling her feet back to the door she marched through feeling so courageous just a second before.

“yeah that's what I thought,” I mutter to myself, as she swiftly leaves the room.

“That was rather odd, what did she want?” I hear Ominis ask. He takes his seat next to me,

“Sebastian being out sick has made me realize how many bothersome people beg for my attention, her for example, wanting me to find her gobstones… again,” I sigh as I say it. Ominis chuckles at my frustration.

“That's true, Sebastian is a great guard dog that is for sure.” Ominis’s hand finds my thigh and he starts caressing it gently, sliding me closer to him. I rest my head onto his shoulder, headache dissipating slowly but surely. Also slowly but surely I feel Ominis creep his hand higher up my thigh.

“Ominis… class just started dont start teasing me now,” as I whisper that into his ears I feel his smirk grow across his face.

“Whatever could you mean,” the sarcasm audible in his voice. I see him flick his wand slightly and as I was about to ask what he'd done I felt a disillusionment charm wave over our laps. My eyes grow wide for a moment only to force my face back to normal so as to not draw attention. My cock twitching against my pants as Ominis teases me. My face had bloomed into a bright shade of red as Ominis pretends all is normal.

“Ominis please…” I beg softly, thanking Merlin that we sit at the back of the class.

“Professor, could I please be excused to Madam Pomfry’s my eyes seem to be bugging me.” Ominis speaks up.

“Yes of course Mr. Gaunt, here let's have someone help you there. hmmmm, Mr. L/n how about you help Mr. Gaunt to Madam Pomfry’s.” the professor declares.

“Yes Professor,” I manage out. My lower half now throbbing with anticipation. I quickly gather our stuff and pretend to guide Ominis to the hall, door shutting behind us. I follow Ominis as he leads me to the Undercroft. He grabs my collar pulling me close.

“Just let me do everything, alright.” Ominis all but demands. He pushes me lightly against a wall, grabbing my chin with one hand the other pressing against my erection. I exhale at the pressure, hearing that Ominis pulls me in and we kiss deep. His tongue working his magic. His hands float down below, freeing his member first then mine. Both of us red at the tips, after almost 30 minutes of teasing. Precum leaking onto the floor as Ominis grabs us both, the action causing me to groan into his mouth. We part for a breath of air. “Accio desk,” Ominis pants out. A desk from nearby pulling up behind me, he sits me on it. Slowly he starts stroking his one hand stroking both erect, leaking cocks. My hips stuttering into his hand as I grow close to the edge.

“Ominis please!” I moan out, his hips stuttering when he hears it. “I'm getting close!” We start making out again, his tongue now scouring my mouth.

“God you feel so beautiful,” Ominis groans into my ear. Like a switch flipping my eyes flutter and I moan out softly, holding onto Ominis’s shoulders I cum. Ominis looking frustrated and on the verge triggering me to hop off the desk and down to my knees. I move Ominis’s hand off his cock and take him into his mouth, he grabs my hair and forces me down. Gagging on him I look up at his face and see a flushed face. Tears welling in my eyes I hear, “C-cumming!” I wait until he finishes before removing my mouth and swallowing. “You did so amazing my dove,” Ominis says. Helping me to my feet I cast a cleaning charm, the mess vanishing. “We should probably go back to class now,” Ominis says whilst holding my face in his hand.

“Ugh, don't remind me.” I say over exaggerating my face. Ominis laughs, having felt my face move.

“Darn…”

“What?”

“It seems my eyes still hurt,” A smirk growing across Ominis’s face.

[riotlain]

Slashers with an Agre Boyfriend

FOR ALL YOU LOVELY AGE REGRESSORS

i can do a petre one if asked :3

i usually do rz michael but i never specified so i am rn💀💀

THIS IS A NWLNW BLOG!! WOMEN DNI

THIS IS NOT NSFW!! DO NOT SEXUALIZE AGE REGRESSION WEIRDOS

(Rz)Michael Myers

Crafts crafts crafts

He already loves making masks so now you 2 make them together

6'9 mf. He always picks you up randomly

Will not really rough house with you or anything like that

Homeboy too too strong

Listen he cant do too much like take you to the park or anything

But Michael is not above stealing from children

He doesnt like punishing too much bc he just doesnt feel like dealing with it

Whenever youre throwing a tantrum he'll literally just leave the room💀💀

Jason Voorhees

Knows what hes doing but doesnt at the same time

Loves to carry you around!! He's incredibly strong he can definitely hold you

Loves to draw with you!! He breaks the pencils and crayons sometimes so bare with him😭

Jasons punishments are usually just you sitting in the corner or something similar

Cant spank you no no no just not him

Keeps you in the cabin whenever there's trespassers

HIS FAVORITE ACTIVITIES ARE DOING THINGS SIMILAR TO CAMP STUFF

Bonfires and roasting marshmallows, going on lil walks outside

He can bring out the old canoe too!! (He can row for you its ok)

Vincent Sinclair

Please please please dont go to the basement while regressed

If you do you have to swear on your LIFE (pinky swear) that you wont touch anything

Just sit politely by him and draw

Doesnt know how to deal with brats bro hes like

🧍‍♂️*shaky signing* 'Y/n, honey, please calm down' *LOUD CRASH*

Theres tourists in Ambrose?? Youre staying in his room. Ignore all the yelling.

Doesnt want you to use his nice coloring stuff so he got Lester to find some crayola crayons for you

Any plushies he manages to get his hands on?? BAM IN YOUR ROOM

Vincent is horrible at giving punishments. Like he was always a good kid growing up and his parents were... well yknow

Very good at keeping a schedule tho!!

Fav activity is probably crafts

Chromeskull

Literally the best caregiver ever

Like he doesnt understand at first so after you explain it to him

But like once he gets it?? MAN WILL SPOIL YOU

WILL GET YOU ALMOST EVERYTHING YOU WANT IF YOU ASK

Will not tolerate brats tho sorry

Like hes not... too stern with punishment

You can get away with alot with him ngl

If you go to work with him youll stay with him in his office and have a coloring book

Yes he will color with you whenever he can

Will kill anyone who says anything (stares dead at preston)

Never infront of you ofc!!

Fav activity is probably rough housing!! (hes letting you win all the time but shhh)

Either rough housing or hide and seek

[lunargrapejuice]

older diluc thoughts :3

grandfather! diluc getting (playfully) bullied by his favourite grandson. that's the youngest one. looks so much like him! boisterous and sweet. fluffy and messy red hair + red eyes! he's sweet and naive, but also a bit of a troublemaker <3

you can't tell me that grandpa diluc dont have a favourite grandkid. you cant tell me that it isn't the youngest. im talking like 5-7 years old tops. the one who looks EXACTLY like him. Almost like an exact copy of Diluc back when he was a kid, some people would say.

the one who secretly sneaks grapes into his mouth in the vineyard, then caught by a stern (very very amused) grandpa diluc who offers him grape juice and/or other fruit juice later.

the youngest grandkid who likes surprising his grandpa by attacking diluc with a hug from behind, toppling him over at times. (bonus: in front of his staff to embarrass him albeit diluc never finding it embarrassing, just endearing if anything.) luckily, his bones are still strong..

the youngest grandkid who is very protective of his grandpa. he will huff and puff if you dare mess with diluc. cuz if you mess with diluc, you mess with him! dont you know that?! ...Diluc huffs a laugh, trying to hold the other giggles in him as to not make his young boy even more upset. (Diluc is equally protective of him.)

the youngest grandkind. who shouts out loud. "I wanna be exactly like Grandpa when I grow up!!" and Diluc can only sigh deeply. Feeling proud in his family, and letting himself feel like he's done his best for once.

grandpa! diluc + youngest grandkid who often gets gently chastised by diluc's ever so beautiful and beloved wife for messing up the Dawn Winery's kitchen which is full of ingredients spilt on the floor or splattered against the wall due to the heated food fight they had few minutes ago...hehe

grandfather! diluc + his youngest grandkid best chaos duo i love them >:D

im gonna pretend this didn't make me tear up soighsklhg PLEASE THIS IS SO SO SWEET AND CUTE and his grandson looking just like him punches me right in the feels😭♥️

diluc who never thought he'd have a life like this, not with all the blood on his hands, how broken he once was but now he family has only continued to grow and he gets to see the mischievous boy who he loves so much be as care free and happy with his siblings/cousins as he was with kaeya as as a child🥺🥹🥲🩷🩷🩷

SOBS

[anatrik]

First thoughts TTPD:

What a lana x folklore girlie win this issss!

1.Fortnight is about matty?? HAHAHAHA also why did this make me think of when holt was going running with the ladies when he was in witness protection??? Crying. Fav line has to be they were supposed to take me away but they forgot to come and get me. So sad but also so cool in relation to her cancellation/return. 10/10

2. TTPD- not so hahahaha anymore IS THIS ACTUALLY A FUCKING MATTY HEALY ALBUM??? There was a typewriter at the 1975 show she performed anti-hero at? Unless its somehow about harry? Who else is tattooed on her roster??? Or is this about herself? Kinda feel like modern idiots/who’s going to decode is directed at us lol😂 9/10?

3.My boy only breaks his favourite toys- went in expecting mad woman rage. Pleasantly surprised. king of my heart to queen of sandcastles he destroys….DESTROYED ME. Are you fucking kidding me rn? Im caling it. Best song. Im crying at 7.30 am this is not funny anymore. Also THANK YOU FOR NOT SLANDERING DAD. I knew you wouldnt let us down like that. Also the chorus sounds like long story short😭 oh this is so sad. Once i fix me hes going to miss me? He was my best friend?😭 he runs because he loves me? Stopp😭😭 1000000/10

4.Down bad- ….aaaand we’re back to MATTY AGAIN? He does not deserve this spotlight but why are all the song so goood😭😭😭 is this why artists love to date problematic men? It unlocks some extraordinary potential? Crazy crazy girl😭 also stay down (bad) 🤌🏾 shes done it again 10/10 also for personal reasons i will be believing this is about joe in that Tom/Joe/met gala overlap period when she was photographed going to the gym a lot and that this is about all that yearning please let it be about that plesplesplesplesplesples also down bad waking up in blood staring at the sky…like i lost a twin is giving bigger than the whole sky🥺

5. So long, london- so so long long, lon-don DONE? ok miss girl😭 the hoax parallels😭 dont be undoing the song i was going to play at my weddddding what is wrong with you😭 my only one my smoking gun to two graves one gun youll find someone??? Also reminds me of la la land :/ how much sad did you think I had in me? You wrote hoax so a lot ok leave us alone. crying again. 10000000000000000/10 oh lol its a track 5 ofc it is😂

6. But daddy I love him- she really said if you ever liked, shared or even LOOKED at the ‘vivaa las vegas’ memes you cant come to the wedding and shes so real for it. Lfgggg. Ubothered unhinged uhmazing. Growing up precocious sometimes means you still hold on to that princess/quarterback wattpad fantasy AS IS YOUR RIGHT QUEEN GO THE FUCK OFF🥳 100000/10 calling out toxic fandom for the first time and we love to see it🫡 this is suchhhh a happy songggg you deserve ALL the chaos and revelry.

7. Fresh out the slammer- god she gets it. Like sure he was great and he is still my biological father and everything but as a decidedly melancholy person myself who has constantly had atleast one close friend in a deep depression I can see how all that heavy lifting can just get heavy at some point especially when youre a partner and their sole lighthouse in wtv storms be out there buffeting their mental health. Its not for everyone and thats so fair and so valid but so sad as well. 10/10 for the honesty.

8. Florida- she really said girlrot summer🫡 this is the lanaest song ever. So lucky one/nothing new coded. This will be the First song I repeat and then so long london. Aaaghhh how i love a self aware melancholic anxious little superstar. 90283749292/10 thank you for giving florence an entire verse whew. Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in is soooo going on my body forever

9. Guilty as sin?- honestly just fuck if it means we dont have to hear about how desirable ratty healy is man ffs. IThe only reason he looks so hot is bc hes forbidden. You have to trust me on this. He’s sooo mid JESUS. U cant be writing hozier lyrics about a man that hasn’t met a shower😭 1000000/10 writing. -16392992/10 content. Unrequited love/lust truly is the greatest weapon in a poets arsenal bc where is this energy in the joe songs binch?😭 this is such a teen in love with a 26 yo creep who called me so mature for my age mom you just dont get ittt anthem😂😂

10. Who’s afraid of little old me?- is a warning 😂 im so here for it. Like yes I still hate matty with all my heart and soul but yes I agree fans should not be allowed so much of an opinion on another persons life and yes I should be afraid (I am). She said aight love letter era over I AM WRITING YOU ALL HATE MAIL AND I’M HAND DELIVERING IT. Shes sooo done pretending to be the relatable girl next door when she’s anything but and is now reminding us of it and yes yes yessss girl OWN ITTTTTTTT. I’ve been saying for agesssss that there is a darkness under all that sunshine from where she clawed her way to the top and this is sooo vindicating. 10000000000000/10 favourite song ever. Mad woman wishes she was who’s afraid of little old me. I am unwell. I am in love. This is the Taylor Swift i stan. The marketing genius the calculating business woman the puppet master with narcotics in her songs thats why we sing along🫡 she so can handle a dangerous man

11. I can fix him (no really I can)- you cant.

12. loml- ofc. OFC. Its the saddest song of all time. OFC. Fuck offf ughhhh. 😭😭😭😭😭 its giving happiness. Its giving divorce. i am a child of a broken home now and my parents still love each other and hold so much regret still. What do i do with thissss? Im just a little girl taylorrr! 1002380292011010101/10 soo so gooood.

13. I can do it with a broken heart- first of all track 13. Love it. Second of all the upbeat barbieness of it all. Third of all I FINALLY PLACED IT. Shes in her unrelatable era. She is not your girl next door. You will never understand her life. She is as much a phenomenon as a person and we literally only see as much as she allows us to and honestly if i have to get put in my place theres noooo better way to have it done. Im having such a great time actually. 10 BILLION TRILLION OUT OF 10 you tellll em girl you FUCKING TELL EM.

14. Smallest man who ever lived- not going to speculate on who it is bc they clearly had a serious problem and its not a joke but damn :/ thats so sad :/ hope they get help? Didnt expect this to be what the song was about at all?

15. The alchemy- she said TRAVIS IS MY BOY WITH HER WHOLE CHEST😌 10/10

16. Clara bow- did she just name drop herself ? I was so right about unrelatable era. Also the Subtle nod to olivia/sabrina noted and appreciated. Lucky one/castles crumbling (mature version) fr fr. Solid legacy song.

17. The black dog- shared your secrets with and location is the same whiplash as a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it🤌🏾 joe songs hit so so different 😭😭😭 1000000000/10

18. imgonnagetyouback- the valiant roar was not so valiant and more of a mew i guess. 7/10

19. The albatross- oh this is the ONE. The album defining song for sureeee. Mad woman on coke. A rose by any other name is a scandal???? Thats my religion right there. Little last great American dynasty twist there at the end! Fuck yea. She does reallly try to warn the men in her life have to give her that. One gazillion/10

20. Clearly god has favourites and they are the ppl called chloe or sam or sophia or marcus😭 ALSO this song is about joe for sure. The internet starlet hasss to be delaney rowe!!!! It HAS TO BE. 10/10

21. How did it end?- shes back for the fans😂 plot twist the breakup is with yall🤌🏾 but yesss say it louder! One gasp and then how did it end. So good. 100/10

22. So high school- lmao aristotle grand theft auto ONLYY taylor swift man😭😂 you know what you want and boy you got her🫡🫡 11/10

23. I hate it here- mother’s having a mental breakdown kids yk the drill🤌🏾 10/10

24. ThanK you aIMiee- what better way to say fuck you to a hater than to thank her for jumpstarting your legacy my god!!! She is insane for this. The capitalisation is a bit petty tho ngl. 8/10

25. I look in peoples windows- once again I thank you for the kindness and respect shown to joe. Never doubted you but thank you nevertheless. 10/10 short as nice to have a friend but it didnt need to be longer.

26. The prophecy- its so sad and humbling to see even a woman at where she is having to beg for love bc that literally is the nature of love. Something humiliating, to have to beg for 🤷‍♀️ cards playing out like fools in a fable cursed like eve got bitten. No one writes like her damn. 10/10

27. Cassandra- very madeline miller on this one. Love love loveee modern takes on tragic greek women. 100/10

28. Peter- ah fuck. This one is going to hurt (it did). 1000000/10 my ribs get the feeling she did😭 all her joe related aches are so bone deeeep ugh. Promises oceans deep but never to keep😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh god it hurtsss it hurts it hurtss

29. The bolter- curious child ever reviled except by her father wow.

30. Robin- OMG! I needed this song growing up sooo bad. That way to go tiger felt so so warm like running into a kitchen after a day of being in the mud and u tell ur mum the silly things u did and shes genuinely interested and impressed by your smol victories. A bajillion/10

31. The manuscript- postmortem of every ex ever🤌🏾 love it.

[ya-killin-me-smalls]

hi ! I dont know if any of these sound interesting ? but im tossing them over to you !!

- deimos and hank adopting some sort of nevadian critter to which doc HEAVILY disapproves (and reluctantly ends up letting stay because. deimos and hank puppydog eyes)

-sanford teaching deimos how to fish :] maybe results in deimos just outright jumping into the water and scaring all the fish away 😭

- doc getting a little handsy with hank during one of the times he's repairing him after a mission

- hear me out . hear me out . doc and tricky forced accomplices when a mission gets tight, doc finds him less insufferable than he thinks and they're just. casual friends that talk abt medical stuff now

- sanford and deimos helping each other with their chronic pains after the events of purgatory

- poker night. go wild /silly

anon I need you to know how long I've been thinking about the critter idea. finally got it done and it was so much fun to write. below the cut

-

Hank doesn't like Deimos, plain and simple. The kid is loud, annoying, and unruly, and Hank doesn't know how he manages to keep getting roped into babysitting. He glances up from the deconstructed rifle on the ground before him and watches off in the distance as Deimos stalks towards a flock of birds, crouched down low and moving with the slow precision of an apex predator.

It's laughable, the idea that Deimos could be anything but his nature. Doc insists that he'll grow out of it, that he'll learn some impulse control eventually and be able to integrate with the rest of humanity.

Deimos lunges forward. Hank can't see through the dust that kicks up but he knows the kid got one. He always does. Hank focuses back on his gun, scraping weeks' worth of carbon buildup off the bolt carrier with a metal pick.

Doc is out of his mind. He thinks he can take on the Agency while raising a 10-year-old that runs around killing small animals for sport at every opportunity. And Maker forbid Hank suggests he get his priorities straight. The Agency should come first. Nevada should come first. His little bastard clone should be an afterthought in the grand scheme of things, but Doc won't hear it.

Footsteps approach rapidly, Hank mentally bracing himself for what would be the fifth idiotic conversation of the morning.

"Hey! Hey, Hank!" Deimos calls, skidding to a halt a few feet away. His hands and chin are covered in blood, staining the collar of his t-shirt. "You got a sec?"

Hank stares at him for a moment, unmoving. "No," he deadpans, setting the bolt carrier down anyway.

"Aw c'mon! I just need like, 2 minutes and that's it, I promise!" Deimos whines, rocking on his heels, practically buzzing with energy. "It's- I got something cool to show you but you gotta get up."

He's not getting out of this without a long argument that'll last longer than just humoring him. Hank sighs, shoulders sagging as he stares at the porch roof above him, counting down from 10. Annoying. "Make it quick," he says as he stands, letting Deimos grab his wrist with his bloody little hand and drag him out into the hot desert sun.

"D'you know what all these are from?" Deimos asks as he leads Hank to the pileup of old cars outside their makeshift base.

"Doc trying to park, probably," Hank replies, getting a laugh out of Deimos.

"You're funny. Okay, you gotta stand riiiiiight here!" Deimos pushes Hank in front of the broken rear window of one of the cars.

He peers inside, seeing nothing of interest. "Why are we doing this?"

"Ssshshshsshhush, it's a surprise!" Deimos says with a grin, looking far too pleased with himself.

"Deimos."

"You'll see, just... wait here. This'll only take me a sec." Deimos scampers off behind the scrap pile before Hank can argue further.

This is bullshit. He's Hank J. Fucking Wimbleton. He should be out decimating his enemies, not playing ass-backwards hide-and-seek with Doc's brat.

He could drive Deimos out to the middle of nowhere and leave him there. He'd probably like it. No loud noises, plenty of wildlife to terrorize, and more importantly he'd be far, far away from Hank.

Doc would kill him.

The silence is broken by the sound of claws scraping against metal somewhere within the pile.

If Deimos hands him a dead rat again, he'll kill him and then himself.

The sound gets louder, closer, the struggle within causing the scrap pile to rock just a bit. He hears Deimos snarl, followed by an angry shriek that couldn't possibly have come from the kid.

For fuck's sake. Hank leans down and looks into the car, unable to make out anything amongst the dark shadows inside. He startles when something hits the other end of the car with a loud bang and movement just barely catches his eye before something small, black, and hairy collides with his chest. He holds onto the... whatever it is, and not two seconds later Deimos springs from the vehicle and nearly knocks Hank over.

Deimos snaps his teeth at the furry bundle in Hank's arms, that wild look in his eyes that simply isn't compatible with society. Hank holds him back by the collar of his shirt, keeping the kid at arm's-length so he can inspect the creature he's holding.

It's such a tiny thing, big green eyes housing pupils that are narrowed into slits as it hisses at Deimos. She's filthy too, Hank unsure if her fur is actually black or if she just has that much dirt caked onto her body.

Deimos attempts to surge forward and Hank allows the cat to climb up onto his shoulder for safety, and then he shoves the boy down without warning. Deimos lands on his ass with a grunt, the impact seemingly enough to snap him out of his frenzy.

"Hey, that was mine!" Deimos complains as he stands, already reaching upward but Hank shoves him right back down.

"No," is all he says before turning and making his way back to the porch, leaving Deimos by the scrap heap. She bats her paws at the lapel of his jacket, and now that he can get a better look at her he's fairly sure she's white underneath all the grime. She'll need a bath later. In Doc's bathroom. Because it's Doc's fault he's out here in the first place.

Hank hears the crunch of gravel underfoot as Deimos approaches, shooting him a glare that has him stopping several feet back. Killing birds and rodents is one thing, cats deserve better. Certain that Deimos isn't going to bug his new friend again, Hank sits down and picks right back up where he'd left off.

Bug. That might work as a name.

He gets back to scraping at his bolt carrier, the cat pawing at the black flecks that come off and attempting to grab the carrier out of his hands. It would be annoying if she wasn't purring so loudly, so instead of pushing her away Hank simply scratches the top of her dirty head.

The sound of Deimos sitting in the gravel gets both their attentions, Hank's heading snapping to watch him but Deimos has kept his distance, observing with quiet curiosity.

Her eyes remind Hank of little green beetles that he's seen during stops out in the middle of the desert, bright and shiny and so colorful.

Gravel again. Deimos has moved closer, sitting at the edge of the porch step and staring at Beetle. Yeah, Beetle is good. The curiosity on his face looks odd, Hank thinks, so used to seeing bloodlust and manic focus. His eyes meet Hank's for a long moment, something unspoken passing between them before the kid stretches forward and prods his little finger at Beetle's paw.

She grabs at his hand playfully with her paws, getting a laugh out of him as her tail thrashes.

"Think Doc'll let you keep her inside?" Deimos asks as he scratches under her chin, not minding one bit when she bites his wrist.

"Maybe," Hank replies, which by now they both know means 'absolutely not but we're not gonna tell him.' Which is bullshit. There's no way a cat could cause even half the problems Deimos does.

"Sweet," Deimos says before flapping in the distance yanks his attention away, the birds having returned to feast on their fallen brother's corpse. "Finally!" he cheers quietly before predictably hurrying off to go harass them.

What are they gonna do with him?