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#kind of unhealthy and pathetic
informist · 2 months
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lute…
repost cause my last one flopped
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xenodile · 20 days
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I know they're just a vocal minority, and an extremely small one at that, and I'm not going to tell anyone they can't like a character, but it just baffles me that there are people that try to lionize Shuro/Toshiro when the manga like beats you over the head with the idea that he's a shallow, immature manchild.
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avisisisis · 6 months
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Something I love about ATLA is that it doesn't force the "forgive the villain" on all the characters. It's been left clear that Ozai is a bad person, and there's no chance of redemption; the only reason he's not dead yet is because Aang is a pacifist
The one episode where a character is supposed to forgive someone who has hurt them in the past is the one where Katara is off to kill a man (which, fair) and Zuko helps. In that episode, even if Aang is telling her to let go, she doesn't forgive him. She never will. But she spares him. Not because she thinks he doesn't deserve death (he does), but because she's not willing to continue the cycle of violence
Killing someone can have a very important impact in your entire being, mostly depending on who you are as a person. Aang would've never recovered from killing Ozai. Katara wouldn't be who she is now, had she taken her revenge on the man that killed her mother
And the best part of it is that Ozai doesn't deserve to die. Not in a "I'm defending him" way (ew), but in a "he deserves worse that than" way
Taking away his bending was the perfect punishment for him. He believed bending made you superior and he never cared enough to train something besides his bending. What a loser. Zuko and Azula wouldn't be restrained by something like that
He's alive. Nobody has forgiven him. Nobody ever will
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jayktoralldaylong · 1 year
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Shen Jiu's relationship with Luo Binghe always baffled me when I first joined the SVSSS fandom.
Like, what did he do? What did this child do to you to make him hate you so much? Luo Binghe was powerless and small and just wanted praise from anyone who would give it, acknowledgement from anyone who would give it, love and acceptance from anywhere he could find it. What could a child like that have done for you to treat him so badly? Finding out Shen Jiu had been a child slave blew my mind even more because how can you put someone through the same heart shattering pain that you went through? What level of cruelty is required for shit like that?!
I assume Shen Jiu looked at Luo Binghe, perceptive as he was, and saw within him the eyes of a powerful dominating dictator. The kind of eyes the slave masters had. Eyes that had haunted him his entire life. Those eyes disgusted him. He could tell that Luo Binghe would grow powerful, possessive and destructive (It's not like he was wrong). Rather than guide that power into a more progressive light, he decided it was better to stomp it out entirely.
Shen Jiu isn't sorry about what he did to Luo Binghe and he would fucking do it again if given the chance. Not even tortured was he sorry about hurting Binghe, he only wished he'd killed him sooner. Morally black characters like that kind of amaze me more than morally grey characters. Cause grey characters can try to justify their actions, but the black characters? They're like "Yes, I did that shit and I would do it again."
That's sick, but also.....sick.🔥🔥
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ASH! There is no one like you. Your art is so BOLD and creative and genuinely awe-inspiring. I admire all the slutty, slutty things you make Ed and Stede get up to, while also making them look so pretty and colorful. So glad we have you in this fandom. 💕
I seriously don't have words 😭😭😭😭 have some memes instead 😭😭😭💖🧡💚💙💜💖
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Thank you so much marianne!!! 😭💖💜💙💚💛🧡❤️💖😭
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insanechayne · 8 months
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~ ~ ~
#I have so much I want to say but nothing I can actually articulate#how do I make you see how much you’re hurting me? how do I make you see how much I love you at the same time?#you grew a conscience too little too late and I was left to hang for it#I keep trying to be who you want but it feels like there’s no version of me that will make you happy#and I feel the distance growing between us every day because of how you’re pushing me away#but still you’ll say everything is fine and I just have to accept things the way they are#it doesn’t matter what I say or do because everything I say/do is always wrong in your eyes#I’m always fucking things up somehow and making you angry#so it’s at the point where I just have to stifle my feelings and swallow my pride and try to keep you happy#do you remember how we became friends? you reached out to me to help me with my anxiety from a post you stumbled across#but I feel that now if I were to share any of those kinds of feelings with you I’d be mostly ignored or it would start another fight#how can you say you’re always supportive when there’s no way to talk to you when I really need you because you’re simply not here?#how can you be mad at me for wanting more time with you when there are days you only send me one message and nothing else?#and still the thought of losing you hurts so much that I’d rather just concede to whatever you want#I’d rather let you crush me and dictate how our whole relationship will go than see you walk away from me#I know that’s so unhealthy but I don’t care anymore because I just need you that much#I hate this stupid connection we seem to have and how we’re still so drawn to each other even when we’re hurt and angry#it would be so much easier if you were just some guy I could block#but you’re not because you’ve become my best friend and that in itself is so horribly pathetic it makes me sick#I just can’t get these thoughts out and so I feel sick and anxious and I just want to sleep this all away#how do I say any of this to you? i don’t think I could really#personal
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yandere-daydreams · 1 month
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tw - unhealthy relationships, obsessive behavior, somnophilia, implied non/con, mentions of knots.
Puppy!Yuuta, who catches your eye the second you step into the shelter, despite the fact that he’s not at all what you were looking for. You need a service animal, and as cruel as it feels to say, hybrids of undeterminable origins with less-than-stellar past homes aren’t known to be very consistent, let alone trainable when it comes to such a high-stakes job. You were supposed to meet a pure-bred, highly recommended husky hybrid whose previous owner was no longer able to take care of him, but it was over for you as soon as you saw those big, dark, watery eyes – nearly hidden entirely by overgrown hair and jet-black ears that seemed to droop even lower whenever you threatened to look away from him. You’re already a lost cause by the time you ask a shelter employee for his name, and the paperwork’s signed within the hour. He leaves with you the same day, eyes on the ground and tail wagging a mile a minute.
Puppy!Yuuta, who was always meant to be someone's spoiled pet. He's shy, at first, scared to talk too loudly or cling too tightly or do anything that'll get him sent back to the shelter (no matter how clear you make it that that's a non-option), but it only takes him a few days to warm up to you, a couple weeks to come out of his shell, just under a month to start sleeping in your bed and trailing you around your apartment. He almost trips over himself when you ask if he'd like to wear a collar, and soon enough, he's more akin to a second-shadow than a dog. He does have some aggression issues, particularly when it comes to human men, but he's an angel with other hybrids, and when he bows his head and pouts, you really can't help but forgive him. With a life like the one he must've had, you can't really blame him for being so quick to bear his teeth.
Puppy!Yuuta, who's more than ecstatic when you mention still needing a service animal. He might not be qualified on paper, sure, but he's already constantly at your side, constantly worrying about you - it'd just feel wrong to go out and get another hybrid for a job Yuuta is more than capable of. He says he likes that idea of being able to take care of you, too - like you take care of him. You want to ask him not to be so sappy, to think of a slightly less sentimental way to say it, but when he's so happy and so, so proud of himself, it's hard to be even that strict.
Puppy!Yuuta, who cums untouched the first time you comb your fingers through his hair. You don't seem to notice, and he does his best to hide his face in your lap, to bite back the little, pathetic whimpers that crawl up his throat whenever you scratch at the base of his ears. He doesn't want to scare you, to be so needy so suddenly when you've been so kind.
Puppy!Yuuta, whose one and only flaw is that he can't seem to stop riffling through your dirty laundry. He can't be left alone for more than an hour without stealing one of your oldest, most threadbare shirts or worse, claiming a pair of your underwear as his newest chew-toy. You really should chastise him for it, but it's such an awkward thing to talk about, and he has such a sweet face - it's hard to believe he could ever do anything deliberately wrong. You've resigned yourself to just trying to limit the damage and salvage the less damaged items, even if those mysterious stains are a little hard to get out.
Puppy!Yuuta, who wishes he didn't have such a big, bulky knot. It's too thick and too heavy and seems to swell up whenever he gets even a little hard. If he didn't have a knot, he'd be able to actually thrust into you, rather than just fucking his fist over your sleeping body and imagining how tight you'd be, how pretty you'd look, how nice it would be to make you feel as warm and as soft as he feels because of you. He does what he can with his tongue, but you don't seem to like waking up with his saliva soaking everything between your thighs, and he always gets too excited when he tastes you. If he has to rut against your thigh that desperately again, he's afraid you might wake up and scold him.
Puppy!Yuuta, who can't wait until he works up the courage to mate with you properly. He knows it's still too soon, that it'd scare you to do it so abruptly, that he doesn't deserve it yet, but soon, he'll be able to to step up and take care of you as something more than just a pet. He's not there right now, but one day, he just knows he'll be the perfect mate for you <3
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sstrwbrryccke · 4 months
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—bullying him pt.2 | sub choi soobin
part 1 | part 3
tags: bully reader x nerd soobin, gn reader, mean reader, sadistic reader, somewhat possessive reader, one-sided crush but not really (reader has feelings too but doesn’t admit it), public humiliation, public orgasms, dubcon, oral (soob.receiving), vibrator (soob.receiving), unhealthy relationship, heavy exhibitionism, kind of cute at the end?
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its a few weeks or maybe months into this weird relationship you two established. or more accurately, you pulling him around and him being at your every beck and call. maybe your relationship with him was a secret, but how downbad he is for you wasn’t. it was real obvious how he looked at you in class, only to look down when you made eye contact with him. a pretty pink blush dusting his cheeks. look at him, getting his hope up and everything. when you call him to your desk during lunch break, he couldn’t help his eagerness, walking past your friends and glancing at you through his bangs. it’s pathetic, really, how excited he gets when you give him attention.
“what… what did you need?” he repeated, barely able to keep himself in check. probably used up all his courage just to choke out those words. your friends stare at the two of you, some holding back their laughter while others were glaring at him. he shrivel under their judging gazes, his tall figure and head slightly slumped as if he was trying to make himself appear smaller. which was impossible, considering how tall he was.
you smile at him, and he lights up a little. “yeah, can you get me a drink at the vending machine?”
he dissipates visibly, a small frown on his plump lips before he nods— you would almost feel bad for him if it weren’t for how cute he looked while sad. he quickly rushed out of the classroom, probably to get away from your friend’s snickering.
soobin’s attraction was no secret even to you. but could you really blame him? just a few days ago, you discovered something shocking (or maybe it was already obvious), not only was soobin a friendless loser (to his own admission), but he also had the biggest, fattest crush on you ever since the start of high school. when he told you, you couldn’t help but grin, this was a gold mine. from then on, it was just so much easier to play with him.
you were slapped out your daze by your friends, they were patting your back while laughing.
“holy shit, you made him your errand boy?” one joked, but you felt a slight rising irritation at their sudden attention towards soobin. it was irrational, seriously, because you really had no problem with it before.
“woah, why the glaring.” another just jested, and you rolled your eyes, packing up your lunch.
“i mean, i would kill for an errand boy. bet he’ll get down on his knees and—“
“shut up. with your face, he doesn’t need to be on his knees to gag” you snap, and perhaps you overreacted. but your friends shrugged it off as a joke, laughing and jabbing at the guy who got insulted
“damn they got you there.”
you put the final item into your bag before standing up and heading for the door.
“yo where you going?”
“rooftop.” you weren’t technically lying.
during school, outside of the classmate context, you pretend to not know him, it was more fun that way. you told him it was because you couldn’t associate with a loser like him, and he meekly nodded. (real reason? teasing him was fun).
it was easy to spot soobin at the vending machine, lamely contemplating which drink you would like the most. so concentrated that he didn’t even notice your figure approaching him until your strong grip was pulling him by the arm. he visibly flinches, wide eyes confused as he stumbles behind you.
“the— you— the drink”
“i wasn’t even thirsty.”
he seemed puzzled at this, but lets you manhandle his tall ass figure anyways (it never ceases to turn him on). you release his arm when you reach the rooftop. he takes a glance at his surroundings before looking back at you. suddenly awkward in his body again, he shifts from one foot to the other while fiddling with the hem of your shirt.
“so uhm… what are we do—“
you roughly kiss him and he shuts up with a small startled noise. you push him harshly into the fence and he yelps into the kiss before having his senses dominated by your eager tongue, forcing into his mouth. he was frozen like always, closing his eyes desperately, pilant under your touch because he had no damn idea what he was doing. after a few seconds, his jittery hands push you off, because he physically couldn’t breathe anymore. he inhales shakily, lips wet with saliva and cheeks tinted red.
you hand lowers and begin to unbutton his shirt, feeling from his chest to his stomach. his skin was always so soft and satisfying to feel. (you once asked if he had a skincare routine and he nodded nervously, asking if you wanted to know) you slid your hand up to his nipple, pinching at one. he trembles at this, hands sweaty and he didn’t know where to place them so he just grips at your shoulders. your hand suddenly palms at his bulge and he jolts, a desperate breathy moan escaping his mouth
“it’s! it’s public! we’re— we’re in public!”
he manages to squeak out, eyes squeezed shut. you stop, a snarky expression on your face. you pull away fully, leaving him with his back flush against the fence. he whimpers softly when he felt your weight lift from his body, eyelids fluttering open to look at you.
“m’kay. i’ll just go then.”
you roll your eyes as you turn your heel.
“wait! wait! i’m sorry. im so sorry. please don’t leave me.”
a grin quirks the edges of your lips as you turn back towards him. hands on hips.
“thought you said we’re in public?”
“yes but… i…” he says between bated breathes, blush deepening.
“you still want me to touch you, don’t you? desperate slut.” you step closer to him, grin on your lips.
he gulps, head lowering until his bangs covered his eyes, but you could see the red tips of his ears. he nods slowly.
“good, then we’re doing it my way.”
you stride confidently to him and he shivers. your hand goes to his pants without hesitation, pulling everything down at once. making his rock hard cock slap against his abdomen, angrily red and leaking. you take it in your hands, pumping it a few times and he cries.
“shush. don’t come.”
you just warn, grasping the head of his cock, hard. his thighs tremble but he nods. you found out, while still in the beginning stages of this weird relationship, that soobin orgasms embarrassingly fast. i guess that’s what you get with a perverted virgin nerd who’s only frame of reference for sex is manga porn. but it wasn’t a bad thing really, you just liked seeing him desperately try to hold it in.
“don’t come until i say so, okay?” you repeat, harshly gripping at his cock again and he whimpers a yes.
without hesitation you kneel down, taking his length into your mouth in one go. you can hear his gasp, but you didn’t need to look up to know he was nervous, you could tell with how his calves and thighs shook. you were only teasing when you called him small earlier, because he was big, big enough to hit the back of your throat. you slowly began to move and he moans softly, so sensitive. he tasted sweaty and salty, but it wasn’t a bad scent. (you made sure he was cleaned up after all.)
you pull your mouth off just up till his tip, your tongue swirling around and digging into his slit while your hands pumped the rest of his length. he cries and thrashes, jittery hands coming up to grasp your hair. but you immediately slap him off, glaring up at him. you were in control, not him. you slide your mouth off his cock and he immediately starts apologising.
“i’m sorry! please don’t be mad, i didn’t mean to! i won’t touch you without permission i—i’m sorry, please don’t stop!”
“instead of worrying about your pathetically small dick, how about you worry about your loud ass moans?”
he quickly clasps his hands over his mouth, ears a bright red, eyes teary. you suck his dick into your warm mouth again and he sobs quietly. his moans came out breathy and squeaky, he’s never been a loud moaner, but it was extra hard to keep it down when his bully was literally going to town on his cock. you were enjoying him like he was a lollipop. your hand creeps up to his ass, one finger slipping into his hole, already loose from the morning. (he stayed over and you took him to school) he doubles over, gasping and squirming, thighs trembling, and you knew he was close before he even whispered it. he shakes his head violently, nearly drooling at the double stimulation— and just before his stomach spasms and he feels his sweet orgasm, you pull off. one hand firmly squeezing the base of his cock, denying his orgasm.
he cries out, eyes wide as he processes the situation. you stand, legs a little shaky due to kneeling for so long, a smile on your lips. when he realises you weren’t going to let him cum, he sobs, tears quick to come down. his bunny eyes glancing at you meekly as if asking why you stopped.
“oh soobin.” you tease, dropping his cock from your grip. “class is about to start soon, you wouldn’t want to ruin your perfect track record, do you?”
he looks at you in a silent fear at what you’re insinuating, but don’t worry, you were far meaner than that. you pull his pants further down, digging into your pocket and showing him the vibrating bullet you bought especially for him. more tears fall down and you just chuckle.
it didn’t take much for you to squeeze the bullet in. but he was squirming and whimpering the whole way through, shaking his head and looking at you so pitifully.
“you’re… you’re so mean.” his voice cracks, bottom lip trembling.
you wipe his tears with a smirk, pulling up his pants and buttoning his shirt, his hard-on uncomfortably pressing against the fabric.
“yet look who’s turned on.”
☆★☆
in class it wasn’t any better, he was clearly ruffled, his hair tousled, collar undone and eyes red from previously crying. one of his legs was shaking unrelentlessly as he sits down. wincing when he feels the chair press up against the vibrator.
he was hyperaware how each movement causes the bullet to shift. soobin tries his best to reduce the friction and calm his erection down, but oh boy were you mean. just when he thinks he’s got it handled, you prove him wrong.
because the moment the teacher walked in, the torment began. you would periodically turn on the vibrator, making him jolt in his seat and hit his knee against his desk. alerting everyone to him as he lowers his head in embarrassment, whispering lightly that he was fine when the teacher asked. he came immediately with the stimulation. it was even worse when he was given a question to answer, you were unrelenting, turning it on to the highest setting and making his thighs shake uncontrollably. it took all his willpower and more to not burst out crying and moaning in the middle of class.
“choi soobin? soobin? soobin?”
he jolts from his daze, fists clenching painfully hard, nails digging into his palm. the teacher has been trying to get his attention for the past minute. a few students around him whisper and he quivers. glancing back at you for a second, catching your smug look, hands in your pockets; before he faces back at the teacher.
“mr choi, are you okay?”
no, he was not alright. he had busted into his pants for the 3rd time now and you weren’t even going to give him a break!
“yep, perfectly okay.”
the teacher looks doubtful and god soobin just wishes she would stop talking. he really shouldn’t be thinking like this about his favourite teacher. but please shut up and stop asking already!
“are you sure? you’ve looked uneasy this entire lesson.” and he wanted to dig a hole in the ground to die in shame. he bites his lips hard and you turn down the vibration. is this salvation? are you being nice for once?
“i’m sur —ck.” he bit down on his words, because if he didn’t he would’ve moaned in front of everyone in class. you turned it to the highest, and he really just came in his pants in front of the teacher. he was so overstimulated, it hurt to come, his whole body clenched hard so he could keep his trembling down.
thinking quick on his feet, he covered his stumble with coughing. “i — i may be sick.” he stammers, never has he been a good liar, and you snicker at his cover-up. the teacher however seemed to believe him, no reason to doubt the obedient straight A student after all.
“you should rest when you get home.”
☆★☆
class ends officially with the bell. the teacher dismisses the students with a quick reminder of the homework, not as if anyone was listening. soobin somehow managed to last through the whole class. and thank god was it the last class of the day, otherwise he might really have died. he slumps over his desk in a big sigh of relief. he would pack his things and rush out the door as soon as possible, but— he was afraid to even stand up and move. he didn’t want to look down at his crotch, he knew he had thoroughly soiled his pants and it probably leaked onto the seat.
you waited with him, putting every item extra slow into your bag. when the teacher had left the room, telling you two to lock the classroom behind you. that’s when you moved.
you stand in front of him, dangling the vibrator remote in his face. he fiddles with his fingers, unsure on what to say. at least you seemed happy?
“let’s see the mess you made.”
you slide him with his chair away from his desk, exposing his spread legs and like he thought, his crotch was wet with come. it was a terrible (and arousing) sight, there was a huge wet patch on his crotch and a small puddle on the wooden chair. he has never come this much before and you never overstimulated him this much either. all of this and you didn’t even touch or embrace him! you were so so so mean to him, and he felt tears fall again, his bunny eyes looking up at you in humiliation.
he was just so cute, you couldn’t help it. you wiped his tears with your sleeve, cooing at him.
“soobin, are you embarrassed?”
he nodded, beginning to whine as he sobbed more. embarrassed is an understatement, he felt so degraded. but it turned him on so much. he was starting to think he was masochistic, or maybe that’s just how downbad he was for you.
“you were so obedient, you want a reward? what reward do you want?”
you wipe each tear as it falls out, gently cradling his face. he pondered for a second, shaking his head.
“i don’t know…”
you chuckle, pulling him up and his legs shakes, you put his face in the crook of your neck and hugged his waist. he slumps over you and you rub his back. damn. this was comfortable, he never thought his bully would give a single shit about his feelings and you never thought you would ever comfort him.
why did you even bother to comfort him? it didn’t mean you tolerated him or anything. he was just cute that’s why you let him hug you, telling him he did a good job in his ear. there was no reason behind it, like how there was no reason behind you walking him back to your house, hand in his hand. (only because he was too jittery and wouldn’t stop shaking)
“lets go on a date tomorrow.” you deadpan. nothing behind those words, nope, nothing at all. just a reward for his good behaviour.
he looks at you with stupidly cute hopeful eyes, ignoring the uncomfortable squench in-between his thighs.
“you promise?”
“promise. you big baby.”
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charliemwrites · 5 months
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Hahahaha good morning I had the wildest dream last night so I’m going to inflict it on all of you:
(I’m not done with keeper/kept. Just had to get this out)
Warnings for obsessive/possessive behavior, unhealthy and semi-one sided relationship, not-quite-dark John price.
John Price who decides it time he has a wife. Not retiring, god no! He’s not done yet. But his home is lonely when he’s on leave; he’s getting sentimental as he gets “older”. So, he wants a wife.
In theory, it sounds like just what he wants. A pretty warm thing snoozing in his bed when he gets home at ass o’clock in the morning. Someone to fret over new scars and fresh bandages. Someone to fuss at him for “taste testing” meals and wrinkle their nose at his cigars.
In practice, it’s not so easy. If it was, he reckons he would have been married by now. Good thing he’s already got the perfect candidate picked out.
You own a small business in his town. Not fabulously wealthy, but comfortable and independent. Something to keep you busy while he’s away but you make your own hours so your schedule it flexible to see him when he has infrequent leave.
And he adores you, knows that you’ve got more than a little crush on him. You smile and blush and reciprocate his interest, have only refrained from perusing anything because you didn’t think he was serious. But oh, he is.
One day you say something particularly charming and he says, “marry me.”
He’s been dropping these little jokes for a while now and you always start laughing because it’s just the kind of dramatic humor you love. Today you say something different than your usual overdramatic “oh but it could never work, captain.”
Today you say, “if only.”
How pathetic is it that you’re holding a candle for a man you’ve never even gotten a coffee with? Your family laments that your can’t spend your whole life married to your job. That they want grandchildren and nieces/nephews, someone to tell embarrassing stories about you to on holidays. You used to roll your eyes, but the prospect doesn’t feel so obligatory anymore.
Anytime you imagine it, it’s John Price there. You’ve stopped trying to imagine it for your heart’s sake.
Except a week later he’s sweeping into your shop and dropping a kiss on your cheek. An unusual greeting, but maybe he’s in a good mood. His hand lingers on the small of your back while you show him the new product that just came in.
You live above your shop and one day he shows up at the door with a bottle of wine, telling you he could use some good company. You’re shocked and confused but he looks like an amalgamation of every heartthrob in a hallmark or romcom you’ve ever “ironically” enjoyed. You invite him in.
By mid morning, he’s had you in every room of your apartment. Ate you out slow and greedy on the counters. Bent you over the dining table. Bounced you on his cock on your couch. Fingered his cum out of you in the bathtub. And absolutely ruined you twice over in your own bed.
He even changes the sheets before the two of you pass out that final time. And when you finally do wake up, he’s taken the initiative to brew coffee and make breakfast. It’s like a dream.
He fucks you against the door before he leaves.
When he’s deployed again, he calls you every night. You don’t expect it the first time, but it’s a sweet gesture to show things aren’t ruined. You’re not expecting the second time either and have to call him back when you climb out of the shower. The third time you wait for it, but still startle a bit when his name pops up on the screen.
He calls you every night he can while he’s away. You don’t know what to make of it.
Then one day you come back from errands to see movers in the yard. You think it’s some kind of mistake until John meets you at your car.
“Fire in the next building over,” he explains. “Their insurance will cover all the damages but it’s not safe to stay in your place. Mine’s just up the road. Figured you could stay until it’s sorted out.”
You want to be annoyed, and you almost are. But the overwhelm of nearly losing everything - only to have all the stress already handled and the important, nerve wracking decisions smoothed over? You just take the good luck.
To thank John for his generosity (and to fill the void of not running the shop) you bustle around his too-big house. Cook meals, keep things tidy. Keep John company when he manages to snag you from your gratitude-induced work.
He spends hours fucking you nice and slow, whispering things you barely remember in your ear. That you’re perfect for him, so sweet like a little wife, that he’d come home to you for the rest of his life. You kiss him quiet and rock back against him when it starts sounding too tempting.
Eventually, the repairs on your shop/apartment are done. It feels like a rude awakening to a pleasant dream. Instead of moving your things back, John moves more things in. When you tell him that you appreciate his kindness, but you should probably get back to your own space, he gets an odd look. Asks what you mean when this is your space.
And the trap springs closed.
“John,” you half-laugh, shaking your head. “We’re not actually married you know?”
“Not last I checked.”
The marriage certificate gets framed in the bedroom you’ve been sharing for a month. You storm out and stay in a hotel. He lets you for three days before coming to retrieve you. When you try to be stubborn, he gives you an exasperated look (as if you’re the one being unreasonable) and politely asks that you not make a scene by forcing him to carry you of there.
For your own reputation, you comply, glowering out his car window the whole ride to his house. Try to give him the silent treatment which lasts about 30 minutes before he’s got you moaning and whining on his cock.
He drives you to the shop in the morning and picks you up at night. Anytime you try to put your little foot down, he just scoops you off them. The neighbors start cooing that he’s such a good man. You try not to scream.
When he’s finally deployed again, you try to move all your things back to your home. Except the movers apologetically tell you that they can’t trespass on John’s property.
Fine, you’ll do it yourself. Somehow.
You pack two suitcases and some of your cookware. Load it all up in a rental - because John sent your damn car into the shop - and trying to get comfortable in your own flat again.
Except it’s all wrong. The scent of smoke still lingers, it’s cold because the heating hasn’t been turned on yet this year. Half your things are gone and there’s no food in the fridge or pantries. You tough it out. Buy a ready-made meal and new bed linens and pillow. Sleep in a bed too cold even with the heat finally on.
When John calls, you don’t answer. He sends a text that simply reads “I love you.” You toss your phone across the room.
The next night, when he calls again and you don’t answer, he sends a “stay safe, love.” You spend twenty minutes with fingers poised over the keys. Chug a glass of wine and send back a neutral “you too, John”.
When he calls on the third night, you pick up, bark a sharp “knock it off” and hang up. Another text that he was so happy to hear your voice.
Another call, you pick up and demand “what are you doing?” He chuckles on the other end. “Calling my darling wife. I miss you.” You believe him. That’s the worst part.
When he gets back, you ride the long, long river of denial right up until he’s at your door, eyebrows arched. “Really, love,” he hums, “you didn’t have to come all the way over here just because you missed me.”
You want to hit him. You storm off to your bedroom instead. He wanders the house. You hear him clattering in the kitchen and wandering around the living room. When you hear the door close, you think he’s finally left and given all this up.
Twenty minutes later, he’s casually removing the door (sans hinges) and gathering you up. When you get back to his house, he carries you inside and fucks the tantrum right out of you in the shower, growling that you don’t smell like home anymore.
When you wake up from your three-orgasm induced nap, he’s washing the clothes you took to your old flat. On your left hand is a pretty diamond with “JP” carved into the band.
At the store, people start calling you “Mrs. Price”. The neighbors (John’s neighbors) invite you over as “the Prices”. You glare at him when he starts looking too smug about it.
When he’s set to deploy again, he sits you on the kitchen counter, caging you in with arms.
“Don’t make me come get you this time,” he warns, pressing kisses along your jaw. “This is gonna be a rough one. I just want to see you when I get home.”
It’s a warning that you know to heed. You don’t try to leave this time. When he calls, you answer, rattling off stupid details about your day. You’re shocked to hear him remember names and dates and tasks with everything else hes got going on. Promises he’ll deal with the creep at the post office when he gets home.
“And… you are coming home… right?” you ask.
“Nothing could keep me away, love.”
He doesn’t call for three days straight. You tell yourself the tightness in your chest is just anxiety over how the hell to handle his assets if he’s dead.
At 3am, the bed dips, a warm body pressing up against your back. You recognize John’s arms wrapping tight around your waist. You stir.
“Are you alright?” you ask.
“Perfect now, love.”
“Mm welcome home.”
“Good to be home, gorgeous.”
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aajjks · 11 months
Text
loser ≠ lover (m)
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synopsis. He wants you so much, even if you’ll destroy him, because he’d let you.
fem reader x yandere oc.
warnings. yándere, öbsession, masochïstic tendencies, mentions of physical, emotional abûse, unhealthy thöughts, èxtreme obsession, obsessive thoughts.
note. MY FIRST OC!!!!! UHHH IM SO SO NERVOUS BECAUSE IM NEW TO THIS KIND OF THING BUT I HOPE YOU ALL WILL GIVE HIM A CHANCE. HES ALL YOURS TO INTERACT WITH, send fanart?!?? Please I’d be honoured, send asks talk to him!!!! 😭💌
second instalment x
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loser boy who worships the ground you walk on!
Who licks off the dirt that trails off your shoes as you walk down the school hallway.
loser boy who is so obsessed with you that he can’t breathe if he can’t get a look at you.
loser boy who can’t feel anything but love for you, passion that pumps so hard in his veins for you, who can’t say a word without stuttering except your name.
Loser boy who follows you around like a lost puppy, who doesn’t care if your ‘friends’ cuss at him, if you call him a dirty dog.
At least you’re talking to him! God, he’s so lucky!
“Goodness fuck off! You sicko! How’d you find my address!?” You spit at him, your eyes filled so beautifully with hues of disgust, your luscious lips curled up in annoyance. He smiles so brightly at you, God, you’re so beautiful.
“O-Oh please! C-Call me more names! P-Please!” He begs, on his knees, his raven hair falling on his grey orbs, his lashes wet as he begs you.
You feel embarrassed, He notices, yet he feels his heart burning from the need to hear you insult him.
It’s been too long.
And that’s why he’s here, at 1 am right infront of your door, begging.
“Fucking masochist! You’re so disgusting! FUCK OFF.” The way your shoe hits his jaw, makes him moan out your name like a prayer.
You groan in anger, he gets up again, you struggle against him, your nails scratch him, the burn feels euphoric, he missed you so bad.
“You don’t understand huh?!? LEAVE. ME. ALONE.” You try to get away from him, the boy doesn’t let you, instead he grabs your legs, wrapping his arms around them, “n-no please! take me back please!” He’s sobbing.
Yet his heart loves the thrill of your resistance, it turns him on so much, his pants feel so painfully tight, “NEVER! You ARE NOT GOOD FOR ANYTHING! You are of no use to me anymore!” you keep insulting him, it makes him feel so relieved.
You hadn’t been talking to him for so long, he almost went insane without you.
“Y-YN p-please kiss me!” He stands up, “p-please!”
“FUCK OFF Ezekiel!” His mind blurs.
His tongue lulls out and he whimpers as you finally utter his name out, it sounds so good, so erotic from your mouth, His name was made for you to call out.
He is so obsessed with you.
“S-Say it again… p-please!” Ezekiel stands up, his knees wobble, the stormy grey eyes are full of lust, craziness.
You roll your eyes at him again, it only makes him so much more excited, he loves your rejection so much, he always has.
Because it’s a unique bond between you, you treat him special, he knows.
“fuck off weirdo.” Ezekiel doesn’t say anything but pushes you against the door of your house, “YN…” he brings his face so much closer to you, he feels scared yet thrilled.
You’re so unpredictable, it makes him shake with anticipation.
“P-Please don’t leave- don’t-don’t abandon me! I-I’m sorry I disappointed you b-but he deserved it.” You raise your eyebrows at his ‘apology’
“No. Get away from me you sick freak! You had no right to beat him up like that, who are you huh? My boyfriend? Please…” you scoff, “you’re nothing to me Ezekiel, absolutely nothing.” You spit again at him.
God.
“You’re just a pathetic man who gets me off. You’re just a pastime you get that?” You point your finger to his chest.
“Y’know you’re lucky you have a big dick and a pretty face. sometimes you’re obedient too and you make good punching bag.” You laugh so cruelly, venom drips in your words.
Yet he takes it as words of praise.
“You’re like my dog.”
Yes he is.
“S-So please just take me back? I-I’m so sorry YN…. Please punish me but not like this! H-HIT ME.” He takes your hand and swipes it hard across his cheek.
You gasp in surprise, Ezekiel looks at you with pure desperation. “Please! I-I can’t live without you,” he bites his lower lip, the mole under his lips becomes more evident.
“I-I can please you! I can help you get off! Please let me- give me a chance- I’ll make you cum as many times you’ll want to- PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE AT REDEMPTION!”
“P-Please!”
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diggykit-kat · 3 months
Text
𝑪𝒂𝒕𝑵𝒂𝒑 x Reader
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Warning: just an unhealthy relationship and a fucking tall cat
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While finding you while exploring the orphanage his first thought was to take you as a meal, he wanted to let you “grow” so there would be more to “eat off of.”
But soon days became weeks and the 9-foot (just guessing) musty, stale, fatass Cat got attached to you. And he hates it himself. So to keep it away from you, he accused and insulted you when he had the chance.
Saying shit like “No. No. now I understand why they fired you, you're a complete moron.” And “You’re the one who set the red-headed bastard free weren't you.”
Don’t worry, he does have nice nicknames for you like “Doll”, “Child”, or even “Mouse”
Like DogDay, he keeps you hidden in one of the hundred rooms in the orphanage. When you tried to escape, he destroyed everything in his path to capture you again, locking you up and keeping entities in the hallways so you wouldn't try to leave. “It's not my cup of tea to play hide and seek with you. Child."
Though when not locked in the room he carries you on his back, using his height to keep you from jumping off, though you could always risk breaking a leg and being locked back up in your room.
“It's kind of pathetic…to know that you're the merely thing left in this dungeon of untruths and gore…”
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adams-angels · 3 months
Note
Adam sfw/nsfw hcs? I love your work! Thanks!!
💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖
SFW
I'm gonna start off strong by saying socks and sandals. Thinks it's great.
Will stop listening when he's losing an argument. Stutters and minces up his words if he gets flustered or too aggravated.
Lute is his best friend
Says he has tons on friend but in reality lute is his only friend
This man thinks he's higher up in the food chain than he actually is. Which then leads to weak apologies from him
Doesn't go anywhere without his mask. Really big believer in that he doesn't like showing his face because both his wife's left him
Still absolutely bitter about that btw
Has an unhealthy coping mechanism when it comes to jealously.
For example, your an angel and some newbie starts talking with you and there's nothing really in it but he opens a portal to hell when your not looking and literally kicks the guy through it before closing the portal.
Or if your a sinner and you're telling him about someone who helped you the other day he will HUNT THEM DOWN next extermination day... If he can wait that long.
Likes getting you lil gifts, key chains, magnets, pins. He'll see a little thing and think that's perfect and wont hesitate buying it for you.
He won't give it to you though. He'll leave it somewhere obvious in his apartment for you to notice and go "oh, that's cute." For him to shrug and say "it's okay. You want it?" It took a while before you actually started accepting gifts this way
In public he will get you the biggest things. Giant teddy bear. New TV. A unicorn. But that's just to show everyone that he spoils you. That no one can treat you as well as him.
Loves lazy days
Also loves it when you preen his wings
Was the kinda guy that didn't have any kind of skin care until he met you and now you're both chilling with facemasks on.
Has panic attacks when he thinks you're going to leave him
When he's not wearing his mask he will not smile. It's really difficult to get him to smile or laugh when he's not wearing a mask.
But he's got the most beautiful smile
You managed you get him to laugh because you fell. What? He's still an asshole.
You couldn't be mad at him. He sounded so happy.
Has dumb pet names for everyone he's close to. Some are cute. Some are absolutely vulger. "Sweetness." "Babe." "Cutie" "cockwarmer." "Adam's dumpster." "Precious."
He's insecure AF baby
Loves hearing you say you love him
Will only tell you he loves you in private.
Would take a very special case for him to say it in public
If you get in a serious argument with him he'll run away in anger. He'll then come back after an hour or so begging you not to leave.
Sorry I really love pathetic Adam. fight me.
Smut below the cut! Minors dni
NSFW
Ik everyone says it's great at sex but I don't think he would be 🤷🏻‍♀️ not at the beginning anyway
I think he's a selfish lover and it takes someone he really cares about to make any changes
Would absolutely finish inside you then fall asleep soz babes
His cock is good tho. Likes it's a biggen. Length and width.
It was probably made to fit perfectly so
At least that's what he says
He won't believe it if you dont orgasm the first time you have sex with him. Everyone else has! Why wouldn't you?!
Well, Adam, they lied, sweetie.
Loves getting his cock sucked.
Asks for it constantly
If he gets in an argument with you he'll probably say "I'm sorry, it's just been so long since I got head."
He loves eating you out. Watching you squirm while his tongue is inside you really gets him going.
Likes you have you sat on his face so he can hold you down
He cried the first time he had sex with you after realising he loves you
Will beg to be loved when he's close to finishing. "Tell me you love me!"
Will get embarrassed after the fact
He was adamant he didn't like you. That you were just hot. But one day found himself jerking to the thought of you and that post nut clarity hit like a freight train.
Loves being praised ofc
Breeding kink. I mean come on. He was made to populate the earth. It was literally his job.
Loves rough sex, being in charge.
Will get possessive during sex
If he's having a bad day he'll be a lot more desperate and a hell of a lot more possessive
"mine" is his favourite word.
~⁠♡✧⁠。 I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! 。✧⁠♡~⁠
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angelbarelywrites · 29 days
Text
♡ slashers scenarios | sharing a bed (part two)
♡ fandoms; Friday the 13th, House of Wax, Black Christmas, Scream (kinda), Hannibal (TV), Dead by Daylight, slashers (general)
♡ characters; Jason Vorhees, Bo Sinclair, Billy Lenz, Danny Johnson, Hannibal Lecter
♡ reader; gender neutral
♡ cw; heavily suggestive content, implied smut, unhealthy power dynamics, references to stalking and kidnapping, violence
♡ notes; still kind of figuring out characterization for Jason and Danny tbh
•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•
Jason Vorhees
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> mama always taught him that sharing a bed with someone was wrong
> it could so easily lead to sinning! and the woods tended to be humid anyway, so it’d get sticky and sweaty
> but Jason likes keeping you close, very close
> the only time he’s not by your side is when he’s “working”
> and even then he’ll check up on you throughout the evening
> one day you get worried, though
> he’s usually back by the time you’re about to go to sleep- he drinks tea with you and usually cuddles for a bit even though he’s convinced staying would be bad
> on this night, the tea is getting cold, and you’re getting grumpy, so you step outside to call for him
> it’s just a moment- a split second that you feel a hand on your shoulder- too small to be Jason
> then there’s a sickening squelch, a scream, and a couple more wet thumps and groans before silence
> you don’t need to turn to know what happened, instead letting Jason come to you (he doesn’t like seeing you sad from his messes- and you don’t like seeing them period)
> he’s got the blood of the man who touched you splattered all over you but you just frown softly “…it’s bedtime.”
> he wordlessly nods and scoops you up quickly, seeming scared that you were somehow hurt
> you quietly reassure him but he gets you the tea and pets your hair until he’s satisfied you’re okay
> you relish in the affection and get an idea
> “Jason baby? can you sleep in my bed? just tonight?”
> you can tell he mulls it over a long while before he nods
> he looks comically large in your bed, holding your teddy bear for you while you change into pajamas
> you let him be the little spoon, wrapping around him happily
> surely something this comfy can’t be wrong, he decides and falls asleep peacefully
> but when he wakes up, holding your soft, barely clothed form tight against him…he realizes he doesn’t care what’s wrong and right when it comes to you
> because you make him want to do all of the things mama said not to - and he just loves making you happy
Bo Sinclair
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> you like your personal space- that’s something you made clear when you started living there
> back then you were still a victim, but the point stands
> so once they trusted you you got your own little room and let you decorate
> and you like your arrangement. you have your bed, your boyfriend has his, and you don’t ever sleep in the other’s on purpose
> why would you want to sleep next to Bo anyways? he snores, he’s always splayed out in weird positions and he sweats like a motherfucker
> maybe it had to do with the way you can always hear him screaming when he wakes up in the middle of the night.
> or how it stings whenever he leaves after you fuck, even though you never really ask him to stay
> okay, fuck it. you love the idiot and you want to sleep next to him.
> that shouldn’t be too hard to say
> except it is, because your stubbornness is almost as legendary as Bo’s
> you’re still actively putting it off when you manage to sprain your ankle in the house
> after thanking Vincent for patching you up, you spend the afternoon in the living room, sulking as you wait for Bo
> you know it’s not his fault you slipped, but you’re irrationally mad at him and getting worse the later that he is
> you can tell Vincent got to him first because he’s already frowning when he walks in to the living room close to midnight
> “what happened to you, little darlin?”
> your anger immediately melts away and you give a pathetic little pout as he hugs you tight, cursing for not checking in
> he babies you throughly and eventually takes you to your room
> he’s giving you a goodnight kiss when you grab his sleeve
> “…stay?”
> he can’t hide his smug smile
> “…you want me to?”
> you grumble but he’s happy to strip to his boxers, whistling
> “what’re you so smug for?”
> “you finally asked me to stay.”
> “…well duh.”
> he falls asleep with your whole body laid on top of him, hand lazily stroking your hair
> for once he doesn’t have any night terrors, and he’s grateful
> so grateful in fact, he’d like to repay you..
Billy Lenz
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> you don’t love the idea of billy spending the night
> it’s not that you don’t love him, or being around him. he’s your boyfriend, of course you like his company
> it’s just that the sorority girls don’t have the greatest track record of giving you privacy
> they don’t cross boundaries, or enter without knocking- you lock the door anyways
> but they like you enough that usually they’re knocking on your door by eight, inviting you on a shopping trip or to breakfast or even asking for help studying
> it can be stifling, but it’s sweet, and it’s not like they’ll know you have a guest. they’d be more courteous if you could tell them
> and there’s the second reason, the one you can’t tell Billy
> you know the walls are paper thin, and you know just as well he’d take that as a challenge
> but it’s spring break, and only a couple of students are still about
> so you quite casually ask him if he’d like to stay the night
> you’ve never seen this man smile wider in your entire time with him
> and he’s surprisingly PG as you make plans
> he’s excited to eat popcorn and get his nails done and cuddle - you paint his hails black and get the snacks ready
> you rent a horror movie for the occasion, and he’s giggling the whole way through it
> he thinks it’s just adorable that you get so scared, hiding your face against him
> “Billy’s pretty baby is so silly- maybe he should distract his baby….-“
> luckily, you’re able to turn being as quiet as possible into a game when you mention how sound carries through the house
> and he’s ecstatic when he gets to stay next to you, tangled in the sheets and clinging to you for dear life
Danny Johnson
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> you’ve never been to his place
> he started as a stalker, so it seemed natural he’d just keep going over to your apartment
> and since he’s always busy with the paper, and continuing his current murder spree…
> well most nights you just let him go, and when you don’t you wake up alone
> but on a particularly boring evening you decide to reverse the roles just a bit
> you figured out his address some time ago- and you picked up a thing or two about picking locks from dating Danny
> so it’s not a problem getting into his penthouse and making yourself comfortable
> you make sure to send a vague text that you knew he’d be able to figure out
> after all actually being sneaky around Danny was probably dangerous- you’re about the only person he wouldn’t stab on site
> you can’t help your huge grin when he stalks into his bedroom
> he’s acting pissy but you see the way his eyes survey your nearly bare body
> “You little brat…”
> he’s the fun kind of angry
> after a through lesson in asking permission you shower and collapse into bed together
> you cuddle close and fall asleep in his arms as he traces all your new bite marks and bruises
> he seems to get the message about staying - when you wake up it’s to him kissing your neck and purring your name
> apparently he didn’t finish last night’s ‘lesson’…and he’s eager to continue
Hannibal Lecter
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> he’s eager for you to spend the night, in all honesty
> he likes being in control, utterly and completely
> if he had it his way, you’d move in within the month
> but even though you’ve brought a bag, and are all pj-ed up, he’s distracted
> maybe the one thing that can distract him from you is work- he’s a perfectionist
> and he doesn’t have to prove himself to you like he does clientele and state boards, and practically everyone else
> “y’know you said ten minutes ten minutes ago.”
> “yes my darling- i’ll be there shortly, just- go lay down-“
> you roll your eyes and instead stand behind him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and beginning to kiss his neck
> he tries his damndest to keep focused
> “…if you don’t come soon, i won’t be awake enough to help you…unwind,”
> that gets him up- you 1, work 0
> you’re surprised when after you’ve both gotten nice and relaxed, he pulls you flush
> usually you have to ask for affection
> but he spoons you, face buried in your hair as he dozes off
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talkbycolor · 5 months
Text
I deserve this
A/N; at this point its obvious that i inspire in rebzyyx songs
Pairing; "Your Boyfriend" x AFAB!Reader (cus people are scared of the word trans)
CW; reader becomes willing at the end i swear / unhealthy, obsessive and possesive love / sensitive topics such as mental health, depression, anxiety, fear of abandonment, dissociation, suicidal thoughts / a crazy concept: he talks about his emotions!! / non-con, violence, like, i cry while i masturbate
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It's quite blurry trying to remember how it all started, it seemed harmless to accept a date from a stranger, he gave you a beautiful rose and was quite kind to you.
Feeling that people could like you, that someone could be romantically interested in you, because of who you are, your personality, that they knew your… desires?
Because you had dreams, of course.
Your dream was to live, to live a quiet life, a stable, pleasant job, with good pay, a normal and peaceful life, where the deep emptiness in your heart was non-existent, years had passed and the monotonous feeling did not disappear, you had already accepted the pain, after all, if you felt that constantly it was probably because you did something wrong at some point, right?
But that was a personal dream that would never be shared.
And it's not like that matters now, not when you're in… A room, that's funny, your last memory is of Peter slamming you against the table to tie your limbs since their last date didn't end as expected and It was time to go home.
Return to an empty home, for what? Peter was more than willing to take care of you, why was he so scary? Accepting it would have made things easier, but you ruined everything by trying to run away, you even fought tooth and nail, that was too pathetic now that you remember it, maybe you DO deserve all the shit that is happening.
You could have saved yourself so much terror and attacks.
"PETER ENOUGH! PLEASE! LET ME GO! NO! NO! FUCK, PLEASE!" You tore out your throat with terrified screams and tried to claw at his skin until your fingers were bloody, biting the hands that tried to stop your screams, hitting his face with your elbows and kicking him away, crawling like a dying animal away from him. "PETER!" You sobbed sharply before losing consciousness.
But nothing worked, resisting only made all that shit worse and now you were tied up, in Your boyfriend's old clothes.
You barely remember how you got to that place, or if time passed, anyway that doesn't matter anymore, from one day to the next you find a very small piece of clothing that turned out to be yours, time passed, your body grew but your mind didn't, they keep lying but you know that your life will depend on how well you do it.
And you're not doing it right, you tried to adopt toxic happiness but you couldn't even maintain it for a while before exploding, sadness was already an everyday thing and you just weren't feeling it anymore.
"Dear?"
Just peace please, how hard could that be? It was annoying, you even felt angry for feeling so empty, because people were so rude and the constant rejection killed you socially.
It was hard to breathe, wasn't it?
"Love? Do you hear me?"
It feels like the end, your soul is bleeding, you wish your stupid job made you feel a little more alive and motivated to continue.
And now you have done so many things to escape from that monster that pulls you back to the room to devour you under the bed.
"Darling!" Your boyfriend's voice echoed through the room, making you look at him once and for all, your eyes tired despite having been unconscious most of the time.
"…" You wanted to respond, really, but what were you supposed to say?
"You must be exhausted, you didn't even touch dinner" It was a tricky phrase, he had tried to feed you since you were tied up.
"Peter-…"
"I already told you that I prefer to be called other way, honey" He responded with a smile and a definitely not irritated tone.
"I want to sleep" He left your lips, he was being so caring, taking care of your health.
He kidnapped you.
And you couldn't even thank him for it.
He knocked you out.
You really were an ungrateful shit, weren't you?
He locked you up.
You wanted to return the signs of affection.
Soon the ropes left your body, Peter helped you stand up and you both walked to the bedroom, he was still carrying a small plate with a light dinner, he refused to let you go to bed without having eaten dinner.
Once in bed, he made sure that you had a proper dinner, and he helped you change your clothes so that you would be comfortable in bed, he also did the same with his attire and now you were both lying down. It always made your stomach churn when he looked at your half-naked body.
"Dear" He murmured next to you while you tried to sleep as soon as possible, so many things had happened those last few days that the only way out was to sleep, you had probably already been fired from your job for not showing up. "Honey, love, darling," he said sweetly as his hand went up to your cheek, he simply looked at you with a huge and probably painful smile on his face, almost tattooed, you made him so happy with your mere presence.
"Can I kiss you?" He asked, your mind still cloudy enough to refuse anything, so you just went up to kiss him, the room was very dark and there weren't even crickets echoing at night, the amount of silence was overwhelming… of course, that didn't count the lip-smacking they shared.
So it continued.
For a long time.
"Pet-…uhm, I mean, honey, I'm tired and I want to sleep" You interrupted the honey session.
"Please, you don't have to do anything, just let me love you, darling" his voice was soft, soothing to that darkness but not to the painful weight in your heart and the knot in your stomach, his touches felt strange.
You know that's wrong, you don't like it.
You didn't stop him, just like he said, you let him love you as you closed your eyes and a buzzing sound echoed in your head, like television static, your bottom clothes had disappeared, but that didn't matter.
You couldn't hear anything, you didn't see anything, your body reacted but your mind was very far from that place, you wandered through your memories, fantasies of a life you were never going to have.
It was really digging into your cunt, huh? Even when your mind wanted to flee somewhere else, it was undeniable how he held your thighs and you gasped heavily with each thrust.
His member was still dripping his seed, did he use protection? You don't know, you don't care.
It doesn't matter.
B e cau se s oon y o u w il l b e d ea d.
"Honey? Didn't you enjoy it?" Peter asked with a worried frown.
What the hell is wrong with you? Do you no longer have respect for yourself? You know it's going to hurt you.
Don't you mind dying? You lost hope and you don't even try to help yourself anymore, damned and pathetic attempt at being human, really unnecessary.
"Honey…" Peter caressed your cheeks and brought his forehead to yours, sighing softly and carrying your body to the bathroom in the room.
You didn't say anything either, you just felt how it was cleaning your body, the water was warm, the bathtub full of bubbles, and it smelled pretty good, like coconut soap. Peter hummed quietly as he treated your body with the utmost affection, you were sure he was whispering things in your ear but you were barely aware of your surroundings.
When your eyes finally focused on something you could see the ceiling of the room thanks to the moonlight, Peter was behind you, hugging your body, caressing your hair, and sniffing the soapy fragrance.
"You are so sweet, so unique, so kind, so special to me, a truly exceptional person, I will do everything to make you feel comfortable, darling, I love you so much, my adorable-…"
"Peter"
"… Yes love?" This time he didn't argue about that name, you were finally talking and that was good.
"I'm sorry I feel so alone, I know you're here but…" You wish you could give him an answer but that was something even you hadn't figured out yet.
"It's okay, honey, I'll be with you to hold you, forever."
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Extracurriculars (S.R.)
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Summary: Reader saves her TA from a frathouse.
Request: gradstudent!Spencer getting dragged to a frat party and hooking up with a girl in her undergrad (someone he's been interested in) A/N: Who wouldn’t want to deflower sweet Spencer? Characters are both around 21. Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Virgin!Spencer, frat house, college party, alcohol, drunken sexual activity, heavy petting, kissing, making out, loss of virginity (male) penetrative sex, protected sex (condom), TA/Student relationship Word Count: 5k
MASTERLIST
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When I was younger, my mother taught me a few key lessons about growing up. She had to teach me those things because, while they seemed to come naturally to other kids, they never came to me.
It seemed fundamentally unfair that I could do the quadratic formula before I could tie my shoes. Of course, with that, I could just insist I preferred Velcro. My inability to recognize the socially acceptable way to care for my body, or even recognize the signals it was sending to me, was a little harder to explain. It was even harder to calibrate.
By the time I reached college, I became obsessed with cleanliness to an unhealthy degree. I would avoid any situations where I could find myself fixated on dirt beneath my fingernails or anything that could be even tangentially described as ‘sticky.’
I was petrified of being perceived as anything but pure. I had been that way for long enough that it had basically become my defining character trait.
And then, on one very lonely and poorly planned night in grad school, I decided to challenge the idea that I could only be one thing.
That night, I went to a frat house.
Between the pulsing speakers that measured up to my hips and the remnants of discarded beer bottles, I realized that I had made a number of miscalculations—the kind that my mother had most certainly not prepared me for.
“Come on, man, live a little!” the student beside me shouted over impossibly loud music.
I hadn’t the slightest clue what he was asking me to do, but I could tell from the taunt that my answer would be the same regardless:
“N-No thanks.”
I looked down at the glass bottle still dripping beer from its lip. My stomach churned at the sight. I was so distracted by the thought of spit coating the finish that I had failed to connect the dots to realize that the group was planning to play the aptly named game ‘spin the bottle.’
That was, until the older but somehow less mature man to my side jeered, “Why not? Have you never kissed a girl before?”
My cheeks burned with some mixture of embarrassment and rage. I’d hoped that they would confuse it for drunkenness, if they’d thought about it at all.
I wanted to open my mouth to defend my decision without sounding pathetic, but my lips stayed tightly shut.
Then, just a second before the pause became awkward, a second voice chimed in.
“Piss off, idiot.”
I heard her right before I felt her. Her arm slung around my neck brought with it the comforting scent of jasmine and vanilla. Her heated skin somehow stayed warm but never sticky, and my body quickly corrected its instinct to move closer to her.
She’s my student, I reminded myself.
My favorite student, though.
Although the feeling was shared by the man she was speaking to, he wasn’t so clear about it. He seemed almost sarcastic when he shouted, “Whoa! Careful there (y/n), you might make me think you like me.”
By contrast, she was outright in her apathy when she droned, “No one likes you.”
“Ouch,” he replied with a hand clutching his chest, “You wound me.”
I’d half expected her to respond to him in kind. My mind ran a million confusing calculations to try to determine whether this was just harmless flirting or actual annoyance. All I knew for certain was that my chest burned with jealousy that dissipated within a second of her speaking again.
“Hey cutie, which of these jackasses brought you here?” she asked so sweetly I could taste sugar on my tongue as I tried to answer.
“Huh? Oh, u-uh. No… jackasses.”
Smooth as the cheap liquor we’re drinking.
“Yeah, right,” she chuckled in disbelief before explaining, “That’s all that’s here besides you.”
… Besides me?
“You wanna leave?”
My heart stopped at the mere thought. For a moment, I convinced myself that I had fantasized the question. Perhaps someone had slipped something into my drink that had turned me into a blubbering fool. Perhaps it was something more nefarious.
She wouldn’t.
Wouldn’t what?
“What?” I asked.
Before she could clarify, the now very unwelcome third presence chimed in, “He just got here! Let him stay.”
I watched as she bristled in response. Her fingernails dug slightly into my shoulder and she pulled me closer.
It must have been instinct. There was no way she could have meant it on purpose.
It felt nice, though, to be closer to her.
“I also just got here, and yet, I want to leave,” she sneered.
When he made a motion to touch her shoulder the same way she’d been touching mine, she jumped back with a stern warning.
“Touch me and lose at least one testicle.”
He put his hands up in surrender. She scoffed. Her hand dropped from my shoulder, but I never had time to miss her. She took my hand so quickly that I didn’t have time to think about my response. So, I held hers back.
My heart had finally made up its mind before she spoke.
“Come on, sweetheart. We’re leaving,” she ordered.
I followed.
“W-Where are we going?”
She shrugged.
“I don’t know. Somewhere else.”
She turned to look at me with the utmost skepticism, or, dare I say it, fascination with what she found.
“You have somewhere to be?” she asked.
“Um… no?”
I prayed it had been the right answer.
It was.
“Wanna come back to my place?” she offered with a smile, “It’s not far from here.”
She’d said it so casually that I couldn’t help but feel I’d missed something. Surely, she couldn’t be offering the normal incidental activities typically involved with accompanying someone ‘back to their place.’
I had been so certain of it that I’d even possessed the courage to ask.
“Uh… to do… what?”
She laughed. It wasn’t a painful sound; it was kind and airy. The music of her laughter lined the increasingly quiet streets as the music faded away in the background.
“You’re cute,” she hummed. Then, with a wicked smirk, she purred, “You got something in mind?”
My face filled with what felt like half the blood in my body. The rest went to another, somehow even more embarrassing aspect of my anatomy.
She didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she seemed emboldened and excited by how smitten I seemed. It all felt so idyllic that I didn’t even question when she’d taken my hand in hers again.
“Come on, cutie,” she instructed.
My heart quivered at the compliment. I didn’t even try to convince myself that it had been uttered with condescension or sarcasm. I enjoyed, even just for a moment, the idea that I might be seen as something desirable to her.
I had many reasons not to trust women like her. I had been burned in the past, with ropes and blindfolds that still felt paralyzing. But in that moment, those cruel memories felt worlds away.
She had just seemed so… calm. So happy to flaunt our intertwined fingers no matter how many familiar faces we passed.
“What were you doing in a place like that, anyway?” she asked.
I laughed before I thought not to.
“Did I seem that uncomfortable?”
“Weren’t you?”
“Yeah, I was.”
The admission didn’t seem as humiliating as I’d expected it to. The girl swaying closer with each step seemed pleased at the answer. I realized that she might’ve carried her own concern that perhaps she had overstepped bounds by assuming she was doing me a favor.
“Thanks for saving me,” I reassured her.
“Please,” she sighed, “I was looking for a reason to leave.”
It was a genuine, if not puzzling statement. Although I’d failed to realize in the moment, I would come to learn that we had both arrived at the party with the exact same motivations.
“Why’d you go then?” I asked.
The glitter on her face paled in comparison to her eyes among the streetlights. While she stared at me, I lost myself in the mesmerizing cascade of fluttering incandescence among the backdrop of her irises.
It was not the alcohol in my veins that made my cheeks tinge pink. It was not the bitter heat of the drought, nor the fear of whatever was making my shoes stick to cement.
It was the sound of her sigh and the way she looked at me like I might know the solution to the problem that landed us there together.
“Hell if I know,” she laughed solemnly. “Lonely, I guess.”
That makes two of us, I wanted to say. But it could be zero. If you wanted it to.
I wasn’t drunk enough to say that, though. Just enough to not stop the seemingly rude question from slipping out.
“Do any of those people actually… like each other?”
“Definitely not,” she laughed again.
I wanted to hear it again, but I didn’t know how to make sure of that.
So, instead, I just smiled and said, “Noted.”
By some miracle, she giggled again. Once she finished, she turned to look at me. At first, I met her eyes, but the intensity caused a shiver to spark throughout my entire body. Goosebumps rippled as my heart struggled to make sense of the feelings her eyes stirred inside me.
She laughed again. I wouldn’t care if it was the hundredth time. I savored the sweet sound in each of its iterations.
With her bitten lip and her half-lidded eyes, she swayed closer to me until our bodies bumped. I wondered if she could feel the way I shivered in response.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re cute,” she answered.
It was such a strange thing for her to repeat that the insecurity riding the waves of alcohol bubbled over again.
“You aren’t drunk, right?”
Again, she laughed.
Again, I begged.
“No, silly! I know my limits.”
She certainly hadn’t been shy with sharing the lack of them, either. Her arm wrapped around mine and pulled me even closer. It took every bit of focus I could muster not to trip and bring an end to the most wonderful waking dream.
Of course, that focus vanished almost immediately once I realized what part of her anatomy was now pressed against my arm.
So soft and warm and—
“Why are you worried about it, anyway?” she hummed.
At the same time, she dipped her head down to force me to meet her eyes instead of staring at her chest. Somehow, that wasn’t the most humiliating part of the exchange. No, that honor was reserved for the question that followed.
“Are you sure you don’t have any extracurriculars in mind for when we get to my place?”
“I was just making sure!” I yelped in the most pathetic kind of defense. It took me a moment and her own wayward glances down my body to realize that the tease hadn’t been an accusation.
If anything, it felt more like an offer.
Pride and confusion swelled in my chest. In the chaos, a few words tumbled out of my mouth that I hadn’t pre-prepared.
“I-I mean, you keep calling me cute, so… Sounds like something a drunk girl would say,” I laughed.
She didn’t, though. Instead, she came to a sudden stop and her lips curled into a slightly unnerving curvature. A hungry, stomach turning desire for… something.
Me?
It couldn’t be.
I stopped, too, holding my breath and waiting for some permission or instruction to do anything but wait. Thankfully, she turned and climbed the stairs of what I could now safely assume was her porch.
She threw the door open without further fanfare but a little bit of a tease.
“Get inside, idiot,” she laughed.
I followed her instruction. Of course, I paused at the door and waited for her to show me the way. I nearly passed out when she intertwined our fingers once more and led me through the darkness of her otherwise unoccupied apartment.
My training to hopefully get into the FBI would have had me carefully inspecting her surroundings to learn more about this tantalizing woman. It wouldn’t have been a bad idea, but I knew there was no way I could focus on anything other than how it felt when she looked at me.
Especially then. Together in the light polluted darkness, she didn’t stray too far. Even when she reached behind me to shut the door to her room, she lingered.
I stumbled backwards, not in fear, but as a horrible overcorrection to what I wanted to do.
To my surprise, it didn’t dissuade her.
In fact, she came even closer. She stepped forward until her chest was pressed against mine and her breath ghosted over my ear.
“Was he right, by the way?”
“Who?”
She let go of my hand and began trailing her fingers softly up my arm until I honestly couldn’t see straight anymore.
I wanted her so badly. Almost on cue, she splayed her hand across my lower back and held my hips against hers.
Again, I whimpered. Again, she giggled.
Her hips rolled forward against my now very prominent erection wedged between us. Just before she spoke, she took a sharp inhale that was released with a shaky breath.
“Have you ever kissed a girl before?” she asked.
I couldn’t even think to speak, let alone lie.
I shook my head no. Her free hand immediately tangled in my hair, tilting my head to the side just to see whether I would resist.
I didn’t.
“Do you want to?” she asked.
That time, I had to say something. I was too afraid the moment would slip away.
“Um… are you… asking me to kiss you?”
Immediately, she returned the question with a question.
“Are you telling me no?”
“No!”
Her hand in my hair held me steady while she retreated. The room felt hopelessly cold without her body heat.
“No, no, I’m not telling you no,” I babbled while she looked on with that same wicked smile. “As in, I think my answer is… yes?”
Before I could resort to begging, she closed the distance between us. Her hands held my cheeks and pulled me forward until our lips crashed together.
I knew my kissing her was clumsy and naive, but I couldn’t help it. The moment I tasted faded fruit flavored chapstick, my mind gave up on any hope for reason.
Just when I thought she was done with me, she kissed me again. She kept kissing me—the action becoming sloppier and sweeter with every passing second.
Her hands dropped to grip fistfuls of my shirt at the same time mine jumped to cup her face.
She was so soft. The pillowy feeling of her lips made me forget how much I normally hated stickiness on my skin. Because I loved how it felt when her lips lingered.
I would’ve kissed her for hours, forever, but she ended that hope with a firm tug of my shirt before she tossed me towards her bed.
My heart leapt into my throat. It lodged itself just behind the Adam’s apple like it could hide its blatant affection from her somehow.
She stalked closer like she had before. She drew feathery patterns up my goosebump riddled arms before she whispered in my ear.
“You’re fun to kiss.”
“I-Is it bad?” I stammered, for some reason.
“No, it’s fun,” she repeated.
She didn’t dwell for a second on my insecurity and momentary idiocy. Instead, she began lowering her fingers down my stomach and giggling as she felt the muscles tense.
“You wanna do something more fun, Spencer?”
Completely lacking any oxygen, I breathed, “Like what?”
“You’re a genius, right?”
Just like that, she firmly grabbed hold of me through my pants. I responded with a broken, strangled cry that fell away the moment she started to drum her fingers against the burning fabric. 
“Do I need to say it?” she teased.
Her tongue peeked out between her teeth when she pulled back to look at me. At the same time, she began palming my erection with such familiarity that I nearly fell apart in her hand.
“Fuck,” I groaned involuntarily.
“Never heard you talk like that before,” she whispered, “Hope it’s a nice word.”
Euphoria flooded my senses that were dangerously heightened by the alcohol I’d consumed to make it through the party. Not enough to be inebriated, but enough to make me stupid.
Even more stupid than I was already made by the blood pooling in the appendage fighting against my pants.
“Fuck, please don’t stop,” I gasped. My hips started bucking against her, and for a moment, I thought she would grant me mercy.
But then her hand slowed to a stop.
“Gonna have to stop if you want to get to the fun part,” she cooed.
Half-joking, I slurred back, “Is this not the fun part?”
Then the world came to a standstill, the universe pausing its incessant tumbling to allow me to hear her next words with a crystal-like clarity.
“Do you want to fuck me, Spencer?”
I nodded without hesitation or shame.
“Use your pretty voice,” she chastised so kindly it made my heart ache.
“Yes,” I pleaded. “Yes, I want to f-fuck you.”
She smiled and it didn’t feel like a mockery, somehow.
“Good,” she chirped. Then, without hesitation, she began steadfastly undoing my pants.
She seemed so skilled at the movements that I doubted whether she’d had any alcohol at all.
I’d been so caught up in the wonder of her that every ounce of fight left my body. I let her undress me and barely managed to help in my stupor.
She still didn’t mind. The smile on her face persisted the entire time.
“Lay down,” she commanded.
I followed. I scrambled back onto her bed without ever taking my eyes off her.
She moved so elegantly, so graceful as she stripped and presented me with the most beautiful sight. My heart was pounding so hard against my rib cage that I was worried it might break free to find her.
Yet when she finally crawled on top of me, my body tried to sink into the mattress. As if to stop me, she wrapped her devilishly warm fingers around my dick.
Still, I’d managed to squeak, “Aren’t you worried that we’re… moving a little fast?”
“Are you worried?” she shot back without judgement.
My mind was caught in two types of fog, however. I tried to breathe through it, tried to think of anything besides how nice it felt when her fingers ghosted over the bare tip, but I couldn’t.
“Are you sure you’re not drunk?” I laughed again, the words getting caught on soft moans still pouring from my mouth.
“You tell me,” she dared.
Then she kissed me. This time, she didn’t stop at my lips. Her lithe tongue slipped between my teeth and nearly wrapped around my own.
The muffled sounds of pleasure between us were getting harder to bear. That energy, the pent up frustration of almost a full year of wanting her had to come out somehow.
I grabbed her hips harder than I thought I was capable of. My nails dug into soft flesh and it caused her to make the most beautiful sound.
That beautiful girl gasped before she moaned against my cheek. Her hips dug harder into my lap, bucking against the hardness wedged between her thighs.
I dragged my nails down her legs, surprising us both at how much I loved to watch her writhe.
Still, I knew she was the one in control. She looked down at me like a toy that played perfectly along with her fantasies.
I wanted to let her have her way with me. But when she leaned over my body, I couldn’t stop myself. My lips caught her breast the moment she came close enough.
My hands were gentler there, palming at the supple tissue that slipped between my fingers. I lavished the hardened peak at the center for as long as she would let me, suckling at her breast like a man starved.
Eventually, though, she wound a hand through my hair and pulled me back against the pillow.
In my daze, I hardly noticed the condom in her hand until she rolled the latex over my dick.
Suddenly, and without thinking, I sputtered out a confounding command.
“Wait!”
She froze. Her flushed chest heaved, still glistening with evidence of my affection.
“Are you alright?” she asked, her voice filled with the most genuine concern.
“Yes. Yes, I’m fine, I just…” I tried to assure her and myself.
The poor girl looked horrified, like she was waiting for me to condemn her for her absolutely delightful enthusiasm up to this point.
It was such a silly worry that it almost made me laugh. It almost made the vulnerability that would follow feel like no risk at all.
“I need to tell you something first,” I explained.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked at her. I really looked at her—that dazzling star of a girl. My student, my favorite student that I’d watched and lusted over in every class. My mind simmered with that feeling; the knowing that the thing I coveted most might actually be mine.
“I… like you,” I said.
Less eloquent than I’d hoped.
If her bubbly, wholehearted laugh was any indication, she still didn’t mind.
“Well, I’d sure hope so!” she snickered.
I felt compelled to explain.
“No, I mean, I’ve liked you for a while now. Like, I really like you,” I insisted.
That time when she kissed me, it felt like her own confession. Scooting forward until her heat was pressed against my own, she sighed happily against my lips.
“You’re so sweet, Spencer,” she hummed, “I really like-like you, too.”
Even though my mind tried to deny it, my foolhardy heart recognized the truth in her words. It clung to her the same as my hands drifting over the new marks on her thighs.
“But we don’t have to do this,” she assured me. “Do you want to do this, or do you want to stop?”
“I want you so bad,” I whined without any hesitation. “Please, please—I want you.”
That cruel twist of her lips returned. The sound of my begging urged her on until she lifted herself just above where I wanted her. She leaned forward again, propping herself up above me while her hair tickled my face.
“Kiss me,” she slurred against my lips.
I did. I kissed her even more feverishly than before and used all the air in my chest to worship her.
I was convinced my lungs would collapse when she finally started to ease her way onto my aching cock. Each second of tortuous pleasure, the scorching heat of her enveloping me like flames kissing desiccated wood.
My jaw was dropped open, my mouth losing all moisture as I panted and twitched with pleasure. I could barely keep my eyes open, but I saw her. I watched as she winced at how far her walls had to stretch around me.
Yet I felt her desire dripping at the base of me, glistening the same as my spit spread across her breast.
“That’s it, baby,” she purred as she settled at the base of me.
I looked down at where I’d disappeared inside of her and decided it was better than any magic trick I’d ever hoped to master.
“Does that feel good?” she whispered when she saw the wonder in my eyes.
Involuntarily, my hips bucked into her and made her gasp. Then, still without meaning to, I did it again.
“Yes,” I hissed when she tightened her walls around me.
“My sweet boy,” she cooed between breathy laughter, “You’re so fucking precious. I’m gonna make you feel so good.”
As if she hadn’t already.
But I would come to bite my tongue quicker than the words could make it out. Because for all the pleasure her descent had brought, it couldn’t compare to the feeling of her hips subtly rocking throughout her ascent.
My body actually trembled, overcome with the unadulterated pleasure of her careful rolling up and down my dick. It seemed insane for such a simple motion to render me absolutely dumbfounded, but it did.
I didn’t say a word. The only thing spilling from my lips were moans and butchered attempts at her name.
My hands, however, wandered. They traced her silhouette and groped whatever softness it could find. They settled, naturally, at her breasts. Through the motions of curious, clumsy fingers, I felt her heart beating harder against my palm.
As its speed increased, so did that of her hips. She came down harder while the pitch of her moans grew higher and more airy.
“Spencer,” she whined.
It sounded like starlight igniting deep in my chest. I felt that tension growing in my gut, threatening to bring an end to the wonder of loving her.
“Wait,” I grunted. My hands fell to her hips and halted her movements before I begged, “Sl-Slower.”
She obliged me. With her head tipped back and her hands on my chest, she rode me so slowly that I could feel every detail of her twitching muscles.
“You’re so beautiful,” I groaned.
My hips caught me off guard as they started to move. They bucked up into her with increasing intensity until it broke her rhythm.
That beautiful girl fell forward, barely catching herself before she collapsed against my body.
“Fuck me, Spencer,” she mumbled against my neck. She interrupted her own pleas with sloppy kisses against my jugular that lit my body on fire.
That passion was quickly muted by her words, however. Because that was when she growled, “Take me, Spencer. I’m yours.”
I’d never been a particularly strong man, but there was absolutely nothing that would stop me then. My hands splayed over the back of her thighs and lifted her just enough for my hips to move freely.
She clung to me, her arms wrapped around my neck and her whole body rippling with each collision of our hips.
I fucked her harder, my hands carving the memory into her skin and my jaw clenched so tightly I thought I might draw blood from my tongue.
“You can do it, sweetheart,” she purred.  “Give it to me.”
Then, just before I found my peak, I felt it. The unmistakable feeling of pulsing muscles as her body seized in my hold.
I gasped, choking on a moan as I felt her body begging me to fill her with the full extent of my desire.
I emptied myself into the condom and wished that it could have been her instead. I felt the warmth dripping back down me and dared to wonder what it would have looked like on her now-marked thighs.
“Good boy,” she snickered like she could read those fantasies raging in my mind. “That’s my good boy.”
She lifted her head just enough to plant one final kiss on my forehead, and then she promptly collapsed against my chest. I welcomed her weight despite the lack of air. Breathing hardly seemed important compared to her comfort.
And it was comfortable for me, too. As I nuzzled against her neck, I found a sense of home that I’d never felt before.
She was sticky with sweat and spit from haphazard kisses, but she was so beautiful that I barely even noticed.
When she got off of my lap, I missed her immediately. My hand chased hers and, to my unending pleasure, she let me hold it. She lingered for as long as she could before she excused herself and left me to clean up the evidence of what we’d done.
Her room was still as quiet as before. The heavy bass from the frat house felt lifetimes away. The alcohol still swirled in my bloodstream, doing little to warm my now freezing body.
When she walked back through the door, my body flooded with relief. I watched as she grabbed all of my clothing she’s tossed around and placed each piece on the nightstand.
There was a strange sadness in her eyes that I would’ve done anything to remedy.
“Hey, uh…” I started, yet my throat closed when she looked at me.
“What’s up?” she asked.
“I-I have a question,” I said.
Then paused, again.
She smiled. When that didn’t serve as answer enough, she laughed.
“Yeah?”
That lovely sound granted me the confidence to finally ask the question I’d been pondering since the moment I stepped into her room.
“Are… Are you still lonely?”
I hadn’t thought it possible, but her smile grew even brighter. Abandoning starlight for the full force of the sun that would soon peek over the horizon.
“Not so much anymore,” she answered bashfully.
I smiled, too. With a playful tilt to my shrug, I asked her one more question that begged for an answer.
“Can I stay anyway?”
Again, she giggled.
“Yeah. I’d love that.”
“So would I,” I told her.
And so, we did.
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ataraxiaspainting · 4 months
Text
Just the Way I Am.
Yan Yuji x F Reader x Yan Sukuna.
Synopsis: Yuji is like the sun. His cursed half is like the moon. Both of them hurt you, but in different ways, but neither of them will stop. That mere fact, in the end, hurts you more than if only Sukuna was around because sometimes you think of terrible things. Terrible things like wishing Yuji, who used to always be your ray of sunshine, never existed at all or would die a slow and painful death.
Warnings: Yandere themes, manipulation, unhealthy relationships, violence, and a not-so-healthy dash of not SFW and misogyny (from our dear Sukuna of course).
Word Count: 850.
*~*~*~*
Yuji was not wearing the clothes he usually wore. Instead of his favorite outfit which consisted of a scarlet hoodie and black sweatpants, he simply wore his briefs, sitting on the couch opposite to the bed you had slept in since the night before, loudly eating some beef jerky you and he had gotten from the convenience store yesterday. All the noise was the reason you had woken up in the first place. Choosing not to voice it, though, you attempted to go back to bed. Perhaps that was the wrong decision though, because as soon as you closed your eyes and turned to face the wall, you felt long nails grip at your shoulder, sinking deep enough to almost make you bleed. It was foolish of you to do such a thing, you realize because Yuji only bought the jerky for Sukuna.
Before you could turn around to greet him, the pain went further into your flesh, making you wince.
“Who taught you to be so rude, huh?” The voice was as cold as it always has been, being as much more gruff than Yuji’s ever could be. “Answer me.”
His breath was smokey from the beef jerky but also smelled like rotting food, the instant ramen Yuji made along with a boiled egg he swore was not too old to eat. You try your best not to gag as you start stuttering out an apology.
“N-No one…”
“Oh really?” The voice changed to that of a mockery of something tranquil, something kind. Something like Yuji’s voice. But instead of begging you to stay the night while claiming it was too dark out for a girl to be walking to her dorm room alone, it was speaking to you like you had just done something you were too dumb to realize was stupid. You suppose, in a way, that that is what you had done. 
You forgot the very first rule Sukuna had told you to never disobey when you had woken up screaming at the sight of something that looked sort of like Yuji but did not act like him at all, and now you are in for yet another trip to hell itself. 
“I told you I didn’t want another brat. I already deal with one as it is.” He lets go, and out of instinct to not get hurt more than you already will today, you turn around to face him. He looks down at you, his arms crossed and shaking his head in a mix of amusement and disappointment. “You deal with him too. You know just how big of a pain in the ass he can be. ‘Oh, [First], let me carry you to my bed! Oh, [First], I’m sorry for hitting you when I thought you were cheating on me, please come back! Oh, [First], I’m not a pervert, but wear those shorts that show off your ass for me!’ Please, it’s all pathetic, isn’t it? He’s just as bad as me.”
Not wanting to get hurt even more, you agree by nodding your head faster than necessary, you think, because as a response Sukuna laughs so loud it hurts your ears.
“Tell me, just why haven’t you left him yet then, hm? Since you’re so eager to admit I am right.” 
Your answer is whispered low, though you already know Yuji can hear you, even when Sukuna takes his turn with the body they share. “Because of you. You’d… drag me back.”
“Good girl.” The customary compliments are merely a facade just like this one, no matter who is speaking. His resentment towards you remains intact. Soon, Yuji will also harbor the same fury, as he takes his rightful turn in that vessel they both inhabit. “You haven’t even been promoted to Grade 3 yet. Quite sad, wouldn’t you say? Not that a little girl like you should be a sorcerer to begin with.”
Once again, you nod your head.
“How would you ever hope to survive me, or even outrun me, the King of Curses?”
“I… I wouldn’t.”
Another praise that is just as empty as all the ones before it. With it, the walls of Yuji’s dorm feel even more like that of a prison’s, and this room feels even more small. If these walls could talk, they would tell you to run, or at least you would hope that they would.
“That’s right. So good.” Sukuna turns to face the only window in Yuji’s dorm. You look too. The sun is going down. Did you really sleep for that long? Not that you blame yourself, dealing with Yuji during the day could be considered a full-time job after all. “You fell asleep before I could get my turn. Now, how are you going to compensate me for that when it is fully night outside?”
As the sun descends like a sharp guillotine blade, you and Sukuna share a silent understanding of the inevitable. Your legs tremble at the impending doom, for both of you are well aware of the answer.
You’ll stay, won’t you?
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