#kinda vent idk

[alienbajito]

My heart was full of blue paint, when it exploded it made a big mess.

[ruemzip]

I find so unfair we need money for everything at first I wanted to start HRT with my little savings but at this point I need to keep eating every day before anything else

[skylarstarlight]

I'm being a bit chatty today but whatever

I really want to publish another fic to get the 20 published works on AO3 but I am incapable of finishing any work I start but I'm also not capable of "Just writing a 2k oneshot" like, I can write 2k in 2 days but it's not a full fic

It's just that my brain keeps getting overwhelmed with so many new and cool premises that none of them ever find their way to completion and honestly it's beginning to be disheartening in a way

Like I have fun writing, of course I do, but I have the feeling that I keep hyping up my friends and other people about stories that will never see the light of day with excerpts and it makes me feel guilty which in turn makes me less likely to write? And makes it less fun because "what's the point?"

The point is to have fun. I'm having fun. I just want to be able to show my passion project to other people too, dammit!

[wiz4rdkiss3r]

crazy how no matter what you do a lot of the time as a plus sized trans man there is actually no available gender affirming care I can access safely that wouldn't require a long ass wait period a doctor's note a physical examination and a trip to the fucking moon.

[babbuecho]

im not gonna get into it but sometimes parents will say shit that just knocks you back in time to your 14 year old self

[stretch-time]

Sometimes I feel like my interest in stuff is fake because of the few times in my tweens where I pretended to like stuff that other online nerds liked so I can fit in

But also like

*gestures vaguely to the interests I have that I spent hours and days researching and looking at everything that's got to do with said interests*

What the fuck

[lovethespoiler]

"reaper sans is a confident flirty pervert whose only personality traits are being gay and simping for geno looll"

okay cool but did you know that when he was one of the newly created death gods he hesitated to reap chara when they were murdered because of the compassion he felt for their determination to live which ended up causing the reaping to fail and cursing chara to be corrupted forever and he will never stop blaming himself for what he did ? that he no longer hesitates to reap souls or seems to have mercy when he does so even if he feels terrible about it because of the heavy amount of guilt he feels every day ? that chara is the bane of his existence because they are a visual reminder of his mistake ?

did you know he views life and living as something negative for the reason that when people are alive they have to feel pain ? and he used to despise life because he had to see how people were suffering from simply being alive when he was doing his job ?

did you know he hates his job and just wants to be himself in peace but he can't because reaping is what he was created to do ? that every single thing i listed above are just a few examples of his chronic depression and nihilism that shape how he views the world ? I CAN KEEP GOING !!

[sysig]

You're still standing off to the side. Somehow, center stage has shifted from under your feet without you realizing, and you're standing in the wings, performing to no one.

Starring Role (Patreon)

[bred-is-a-dumb-name]

Genuinely don't know what to do abt this shit anymore man. I've been on tumblr for so long, have had so many blogs, have lived through all sorts of wild shit that staff does. I have nowhere else to go either. Nowhere else can provide what this platform does for me. But this treatment of trans folk has me legitimately scared for the future of this place if something thats clearly visibly a joke can get you banned for life. When hateful terfs can just say whatever they want and not have problems if they get reported. I mean this isn't fucking twitter. I just. Fuck dude. Idk. I'm worried and angry and as a trans person I'm scared to even make jokes abt this situation lest i also get banned for "death threats" or something. This is insane. And it's gone on for a while now. And fuck. Tumblr needs to do better. Seriously.

[goobcoffin]

When I'm far from home don't call me on the phone

[puppyeared]

mascot

[mmm-asbestos]

witch's labyrinth

[idk-what-to-put-here1234567890]

I really want to have a relationship but also like I imagine being in a relationship and I get panicked and like I guess I just want people to know me and give me cuddles and shit but also society is like “oh that’s romantic stuff” like no I want that platonically but also maybe romantically???

[account-name]

the real horror of fnaf is having to work 6 nights in a row without a day off. i'm doing that right now and it's hell.

[vibes-on-the-fritz]

BREAKING NEWS

Local disabled person is unable to do work due to its disabilities. Parents are outraged! More details coming soon.

[druidshollow]

mmm this is so messy im sorry. ive been feeling kinda not nice about some uhhhh stuff and im taking it out on space lol