#kinda went a little in-depth LMFAO-

[general-kalani]

✔❌ ((From any in any combo. doesn't have to be like both from one or even just one. I'm curious.))

{ Prompts from here and here!

Mun note; no icons unfortunately otherwise it'll get too long LMFAO- }

~ Joseph - Like & Dislike ~ "She's smart, even for being my daughter she's so smart... Which makes it so infuriating when she doesn't listen to me. What I'm doing is to protect her and yet she doesn't recognise that!"

~ Jacob - Like & Dislike ~ "Strong kid, maybe. But she's a waste on resources. I'd rather her dead so I don't have'ta use precious resources that coulda gone t'other people than her... But here we fuckin' are. Dealin' with a kid."

~ John - Dislike ~ "Her attitude needs to be dealt with. Yes, yes I know how Joseph is delusional over her being his daughter but if he really wants her to be his daughter he would have let me cut out that fucking tongue of hers so she really has no reason to speak... And if she doesn't learn from such a lesson? Well, she seems to rely a lot on her hand signals. I can just break her fingers."

~ Cain - Dislike ~ "Too fucking smart for her own good. Ask me, she'd be better dead. But The Father is delusional on her, so she must be kept alive. To many of our dismay... She steps out of line, I'll make sure she can't feel anything for a while. Nerve endings are fun to cut."

~ Ethan - Like & Dislike ~ "She's!.. Strong. Capable. But I know she's not part of our family just... Indoctrinated into it like that Judge. It's horrific. To think of someone like her as an older sister of some kind it's weird. She's so... Short it confuses me sometimes. But I... Do wish to learn some things from her, after all I'm still not... Satisfied with the leader I am at the moment and having her on my side UNLIKE THE JUDGE would be a good start."

[dead-boys-club]

You characterize everyone really great! Except Touya don't you think you write him a little too expressive? it just doesn't seem very fitting.

I'm not sure if I should say thank you or...

So, I'm not going to do what I did with Hawks and write you a whole book ( i lied ) on why I write Toya the way I do. However, I'll give a little piece:

Dabi was a mysterious, sarcastic jackass. Dabi was a cover. A persona. He didn't exist. He was built to mask intentions until Toya got where he needed and wanted to be. It's very simple.

Toya, on the other hand, in case no one's noticed is very emotional, very expressive and talks waaay too fucking much. I mean, we spent like 7 pages with him monologuing. He's not.. some emotionless, dead inside jerk and I also refuse to write him as some overly sexualized nympho - it's kind of tiring seeing all these characters reduced to nothing but sex and bad clichés. I mean - he's a super traumatized, unstable dude with a mental issue here and there, who actually enjoyed hurting people, but he's not a sociopath. However, he's also not in denial about a single thing. He knows what he went through, he knows what he's doing, he knows he's a little unhinged.

However - you're talking about a kid who basically just wanted attention and approval, who wanted his dad to be proud of him. Lmao, I hate to break it to you anon, but half the people I know, including myself, are very familiar with this kind of situation and the trauma of it. ( if you feel the need to come at me for the burning alive part, you can take your smart-ass right to the block button and not waste my time. )

I really, really hate that I have to keep repeating myself about these characters actually having depth and being more complex than you give them credit for.

Do you even understand what its like to be a deeply traumatized person, who sought those things and ended up so fucking disappointed that you became someone else? That you stopped trusting, stopped loving - you just kinda broke? The scenarios and reactions I've written for him with a partner convey someone who finally found someone else that isn't pushing him away, isn't screaming at it and is accepting how he wants to deal with things. And I've also made it clear in my writings of him that it confuses the shit out if him and he doesn't just accept that someone loves him and is proud of him... because how the hell is he supposed to know how to react to something he's never had? I didn't just.. make him into a character that changed over night and is good and happy, etc etc. No. Because I know better and I'm not going to shit on a character with complexities stemming from trauma and mental disorders.

As someone with a handful of mental problems, trauma out of the ass, that relates to this character on a pretty scary level - I refuse to write him on the surface of what Dabi was supposed to portray. I will continue to write Toya the way I always have and if you don't like it, that's perfectly fine. I'm not asking you to like it or change your OPINION, because that's what it is, but you will not come onto my page and tell me it's wrong. Lmfao.

I'm sorry that you want some shitty, second hand surface level Dabi writing that I refuse to give. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hopefully you find another writer who will do that for you.

( Let me clarify: I am 100% shitting on how this opinion was brought to me. I'm not shitting on people that write him that way, not everyone spends 179395 hours in a fixation obsession over a character; I do. Write how you want. Write how it makes you happy. But don't go to people and talk to them like this.)

You could have easily written something like 'you characterize everyone really great but I don't agree with toya. can i ask why you characterize him like this?' Literally could've just asked. Not 'oh this is great except this one this one is wrong'.

If it doesn't seem fitting to you, that's okay. Then my writing isn't your taste. Go find someone else you enjoy?

[supermaks]

I totally understand why like and people change I’m not hating promise etc but seeing the way lewis treats Ollie with the generational knowledge inside of my body of how lewis decided 17yo max was his enemy and needed to be taught a lesson makes me totally insane 😭😭😭😭😭😭 even everyone this weekend is treating ollie like he’s a little baby (he is 🥹) but like max was also a baby and people were calling for max’s head race one 😭

hundred percent get how u feel bro same. Lil bear does not represent what Max represented when he got into the car tho there is no sense of impending doom wid Ollie. Bro is talented exceeded a lot of expectations held his own nobody can say otherwise but he is not somebody who has been foretold fjkjdd. Like hes not coming from the depths of darkness ((nation that is not England or Italy)) to challenge established, up until then, pretty untouchable veterans, and wid a certain . unapologetic flare 😭 Also I'm not sure Lewis is the same person, and he doesnt have the same car, the grid isnt the same, the media definitely isnt the same, the pecking 0rder isnt the same, f1 itself feels like a completely different sport than it was in 2020 let alone when Max came in. Ollie's dad did not come across the way Max's dad does either. Its crazy because Lewis went thru a similar loneliness when he debuted partly due to his talent partly due to how there had never been someone who looked like him in such a white classist space. He was subjected to a type of scrutiny that Max will never experience. And then also u have peak german biter Seb vettel u cud say wasnt 'babied' at all either and then sharl in 2019 like if the threat is substantial the fantasy kinda breaks and the 'rookie' becomes fair game. So its just super different situations wid a lot of heavy context that is interesting to compare. Ollie's teammate cud be in the same position as soon as next year ((unless our fucking pookie.com takes his seat)) and depending on where he finishes this year, and I think so far hes been doing amazing, he'll be welcomed wid relief because 9 years later that 'impeding doom' still dooming and impeding lmfao

[bcofl0ve]

How was Austin's performance? How would you rank this performance alongside his other recent performances (Dune 2, MOTA)?

i feel like i cant compare it to dune or elvis bc those were both. Character Acting in a way that mota and bikeriders weren't- if that makes sense? my PERSONAL opinion ranking of these four austin acting wise is elvis, bikeriders, dune, mota. and dune is only ranked so low bc i'm just not really a sci fi person so it wasn't really "for me". y'all know i have an emotional attachment to mota so me ranking that low isnt a knock at it either- i just wish gale was more developed and if he was i'd prob put it above dune. benny was also a quiet character, but i do feel like he had a depth to him in the writing that gale kinda didn't for the most part?

i feel like i am making such word salad here lmfao i hope i make sense. nothing will ever out rank elvis for me because that movie is just. special to me. but austin was phenomenal in this. all the reviews that say things like "this makes austin butler a movie star" are 1000% spot on. so many little moments are coming to my mind typing this and i don't even wanna say more than that bc i'm so glad i went in pretty much blind outside of the first two trailers.

[charmac]

Okay so, I got high for the first time in awhile and I'm thinking about Sunny just, It's weird that I always do, near obsessively, have since October of 2022. It's just like, my favourite thing to love and to think about, but I have been watching for a lot longer than that. I'm just gonna delve on my pipeline from casual fan of this show to stan, cos I think it's interesting and I'm high so nothing is stopping me:

For over three years I've been watching this show on repeat, whenever I didn't have a scheduled show to watch, I'd pop it on. But I just watched it casually, normally, like haha funny bad people show kind of way (I am sorry). All I did was watch it over and over, sometimes see a funny viral Sunny Tweet and like it, and then the Podcast came out.

And it weirdly made me more into the show, more introspective about the characters. So I would interact on r/IASIP but they just, didn't really get it properly.

And then S15 aired and Reddit really didn't get it and Charlie Kelly was just this massive presence in my mind, and I wrote a silly little kidfic about him because I was just thinking and thinking. And Reddit didn't get it.

So I I tried to come onto Tumblr, but everyone shipped Macdennis and I. Did Not. like Dennis. I saw him how your average r/IASIP commenter sees him. (So sorry.) I thought shipping Macdennis was fun in a, like, asking Mac to get completely used and fucked over kinda way (again, so sorry). Imagine my shock walking into Sunnyblr with that idea. Tumblr liked Dennis.

So I just kinda did the Episodes on repeat/Podcast/Subreddit kinda vibe for awhile. And then I met Meg and talked to her, and I stood two feet away from Rob and I know it's cringey, lmfao, but something shifted further. I was talking obsessively to my bestie @macdennissurvivor and Twitter started showing me Dennis edits. And then I made a silly little Macdennis edit of my own.

Then I went to the live show in Philly. And the audience was miserable and oh my god none of them get it. But there's so much to get . And Glenn, wow, weird, interesting guy. (And he weirdly kinda clarified that Dennis wasn't straight.) The show was fine but the audience was miserable because none of them get it. They throw out lines and references and it's all a joke. But it's not all a joke, there's so much to get. They're not getting it. Please someone else get it.

And so I dipped my toe back on Sunnyblr. And I got more involved with Sunny Twitter and Nat (legal last name Paddysroyco) Tumblr user @boysareouttonight's Dennis edits were like the final nail in the coffin of being a stan.

I think something shifts when you are able to look past Dennis' facade and actually see the person inside, the character they won't let you see unless you really get it.

And the obsession begins, and continues, and is good to me, keeps me happy and everything here just tickles my brain and makes me engage and talk. And like there's real, actually insanely intelligent discussion on here and meta and analysis and theories and then there's the most cracked out post you've ever seen and then there's something that's somehow both and it's just something else.

I'm at an all-you-can-eat buffet after reaching into the depths of my cupboards for a month straight. And we're getting more, and a lot, and whatever it is is more content. Every frame, every title, every crumb we find, there's other people here who get it all and make it fun, in a way that's not tiring or eye-rolling or completely off the mark, in a way that keeps me full-steam rolling ahead and coming back.

This devolved a little, as thoughts do, but I am happy to be here, I guess. I'm looking forward to this fucking season and whatever lies ahead: whether it's dry for Macdennis or overwhelmingly wet, whether we get solid character development or some weird backsliding, a mix of both, if there's strange retcons or really fucking-good ones, any unexplained moments or looks or props, or expressions, I'm experiencing it all with people who get it. Maybe in a completely unhinged way, maybe in a crazy smart way, or a reasonably sober way, but always from a place of getting it.

We're getting Season 16, it's real, more to the story, more to piece together and layout and pick and prod and compare and re-tell (and re-write if you really want). In, like, 18 days. Fuck me up.

[mrcarmenile]

okay HI

MY THOUGHTS ON THE FINALE!!

HAZBIN HOTEL FINALE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

holy fucking god do i have words to say

here’s some INCREDIBLY unorganized thoughts:

alastor losing his filter temporarily made my heart DROP dude. also is it just me or did he lose his accent too? like it just kind of sounded like amir to me lmao

angel with his “charlie said to live tonight however we wanted” JUMPSCARED ME and then when he said “so pour me a fresh one” i was like Oh

adam said some real knee slappers this episode i was laughing so hard. “SUCK MY HOLY LIGHT FUCKERS” “chill lute. fuck” “wow i didn’t see this giant fucking shield in front of me YOU DUMB BITCH NO SHIT” are my favorites

the whole “now i’m going to fuck you” gag had me ROLLING (angel’s little 🤨 and valentino’s “well this just got interesting” got me dude)

ALSO LUCIFER FUCKED EVE????? HUH?????

vox screaming at the tv also had me choking from laughter, especially the “NOOO FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!! PUSSY!!!” (that is absolutely me yelling at the tv ur not alone vox 🙏)

the “these fucking angels won’t stop coming” “HA!” scene was weirdly cute and i love it

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT EVERYONE’S OUTFITS???? CHARLIE’S DRESS WAS FUCKING ADORABLE AND VAGGIE’S SUIT THING WAS BADASS AND ANGEL SERVED CUNT WITH THAT LOOK AND DON’T GET ME STARTED WITH CHERRI BOMB so many halloween costumes to choose from man

also lucifer’s hot

alastor and niffty was the cutest thing i love them so much why are they wholesome ☹️☹️ “i dub thee - king roach!!” and the little crown 🥺

LMAO THE SIR PENTIOUS AND CHERRI BOMB KISS WAS EPIC AND COMEDIC AS FUCK (“that was kinda hot..” had me rolling)

the last song nearly had me crying like i SCREECHED when lucifer started singing to the tune of happy day in hell and the fucking vox and val duet???? and velvette filming them dancing??? the vees are terrible fucking people why was that scene wholesome LET ME HATE THEM STOP GIVING VILLAINS DEPTH AND EMOTIONS AND REAL BONDS PLEASEEEE (/nsrs obviously well written villains are peak but I WANNA HATE THEM SO BAD) also alastor’s part gave me fr chills like. “great alastor, altruist, died for his friends” THE WAY AMIR TALAI SANG THAT LIKE HE WAS ON THE VERGE OF SNAPPING. ROUND OF FUCKING APPLAUSE. and the new hotel looks fucking fire i can’t wait to see the interior!!!

the end of the last song nearly brought me to tears it was such a perfect ending note

SPEAAAAKING OF SONGS. HOOLY SHIT. THE MORE THAN ANYTHING REPRISE??? shit made me shed a tear like. AND THE KISS???? finally we get the goddamn lesbians god bless 🙏🙏🙏

also can i just say vox and val making out with tongue at the end for 0.5 seconds SENT ME. i was caught so off guard that i laughed until i choked dude like that shit fr got me

“how’s mercy taste ya little bitch” is officially one of my favorite hazbin quotes cuz the way jeremy jordan said it was fucking hilarious

oh and the battle scenes were fucking crazy i can see where half the budget went lmfao the fight scenes ATE

also wtf lilith was in heaven this whole time? just chilling? idk what to think or say about thing honestly

and if lucifer fucked eve is she in hell too???? is SHE the one who has alastor on a leash?? what is her relation to lilith??? are they working together or are they enemies or is eve pretending to be lilith or do they have nothing to do with each other??? why did lilith leave hell??? why did they let her leave hell??? what did lute mean by “your deal is done”???? i need answers bro

ALSO I WONDER WHERE EVERYTHING’S GONNA GO NOW THAT PENTIOUS PROVED SOULS CAN BE REDEEMED. now that they’ve proved it is the main plot going to be actually redeeming people? or is heaven gonna hide it from them??? can angel dust be redeemed when valentino owns his soul??? does angel dust truly WANT to be redeemed? once they know that you have to die to be redeemed are they gonna be able to take that risk?? now that i think of it wtf will be the main focus of season 2?? we know the vees play a big role so maybe they’ll try to prevent souls from leaving (maybe valentino will make it really hard for angel to leave and that’ll be a big part?) idk i got a lot of questions man

and it seems like they’re setting alastor up to be the main villain at the end. it seems although his mysterious deal isn’t allowing him to unleash his full power, so when he’s free of the deal i can only imagine how feral he could go. (my guess is that he uses the favor charlie promised to help release him from the deal and then charlie regrets it later when he goes crazy)

anyways all in all the finale is crazy good and i will NOT be getting over it any time soon and i am not ready to wait another few years 🥲

[hopeswriting]

Hi I saw your post on Skull and tv series about famous people and I raise you: The public have that sort of relationship to Skull's career as with many of the "acclaimed geniuses" usually the artsy ones aka. everyone knows him but nobody thinks they "understand his true depth", "he was very bright and loud but in private really he was actually sooo mysterious and it was impossible to tell what actually went on in his head when he spoke so much but rarely anything of substance about himself", "he was everyone's friend, but I always wondered if he returned the feeling, he always acted that way around everyone after all" etc. Someone is quoted talking about how he'd always laugh things off to hide what he really meant. It goes on.

BUT here is the KICKER: Skull isn't. He has his own depth of course, but all of this post-mortem rose tinted "mystery" is that he was young and fearless and cheerful and genuinely a bit dumb and hypocritical and very bad at elaborating on the things he said. And best part: now he will never live it down around the arcobaleno and this time it's not even him who was talking himself up in ridiculous ways. (Actually it'd be kinda funny too if it made some canon character actually believe it and look at him differently)

hi nonny, thank you for the ask! [post referenced]

nooo not the unseen depth zerfghfgc!!!! not the MYSTERIOUSNESS!!!! 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣 and yeah you bet he ISNT nor was he EVER any of that lmfao, nonny i'm losing it over this.

but okay, now let ME raise you this: 1) i know it in my bones tsuna is the one to buy into all of that bullshit, no questions asked. yes, hyper intuition tsuna, the last one who should buy into it and know better, i know, but no, listen. i KNOW he watches that documentary or whatever and goes "omg, i can't believe i misunderstood skull this whole time. i need to apologize to him right now and do better, and also i should stand up for him from now on and help the others realize they've got it all wrong about him too".

and then no one can stop him or make him change his mind. least of all reborn, who's the one trying the hardest to stop him and change his mind. for a yet undetermined reason, but i just know he canNOT stand that new development, it just makes him soo mad.

wait, no, i just figured out why he'd hate everything about this. it's because he knows skull, thank you very much. he's among the few who got through the obnoxious ordeal of bearing his bullshit long enough to know him, and to even become begrudgingly glad he did and fond of him but we're not going to talk about that, but now? he's just supposed to stand there and be told he's only ever seen the surface of skull? that he--he, of all people--couldn't tell he was just seeing the surface of him? over decades of knowing each other? he's just supposed to let people not recognize and acknowledge the arduous and praiseworthy achievement that is him having gotten past skull's terrible first impressions until they became close for what it is?

he's just about foaming at the mouth, and tsuna does not give a single shit about it because, as everyone knows, reborn is skull's number one hater. and then tsuna's undeterred work to, like, rehabilitate skull's image or something, actually WORKS because if hyper intuition tsuna says so then??? surely there's some truth to it at the very least???? and it works even more because skull does NOTHING to clear up the misunderstanding.

which brings us to point 2) shameless little gremlin that he is to his core, skull absolutely finds this the funniest thing and takes FULL advantage of it. like suddenly tsuna & co (the 10th gen/varia/shimon/etc) start to actually pay attention to him whenever he's around, trying to see """through him""", and skull makes sure to always be all like "oooh look at me not talking much à la hibari, i'm sooo mysterious and definitely thinking some deep thoughts and not trying really hard to not burst out laughing". or like, the arco are their usual rough but playful selves with him, and instead of snapping at them with no heat behind it either in a well-rehearsed routine the way he'd usually do, instead he's all like "oooh look at me and my fake laugh à la yamamoto. am i really laughing this off because i don't mind or am i just doing it to hide how it actually hurt me? there's sooo much unseen depth inside me".

and they buy it. go all like "oh shit??? maybe--????". and the arco are losing their shit because 3) okay look. consider this: the arco are the ones miserable over this, and skull is the one not letting them live down the new-found appreciation everyone else but them suddenly has of him. because like, the arco's reaction to this can only go one of two ways: either they find it just as funny as skull and help him pull off the whole "yeah this is actually the real me, you just didn't care to notice it before" act, OR. they just absolutely canNOT stand it. they're so mad about it. they're sooo mad about it. they did NOT unexpectedly survive through a curse alongside skull, only to hear they somehow missed everything about him that would have made him more bearable lmao. especially from people among whom most of them have never spent more than an hour with him. have never even TALKED to him even once. their blood pressure is through the roof while skull is living his best life and does not give a single shit about it. also becomes best friends with tsuna in the process of this whole thing because i say so.

anyway. i couldn't stop laughing while answering this nonny, i love it so much. and idk if you remember this @cloudspark @ravensilversea @juudaimes-true-form, but here's the hilarious sequel of the netflix's skull series au ezrsfgvhfd

[megabuild]

You shall talk about bdubs whether you like it or not (for the ask thingy) - Clovis xoxo

oh don't worry i like it so much.

1: i see him as a gay man! "but scott" you cry "what about cledubs". it still happens but in a very "what if a fag and a dyke could fuck ruthlessly" way. also he's cis but his gender is simultaneously sort of all over the place in typical gay fashion.

2: recently i've been drawing him as a bat hybrid so some stuff on that- he purrs instead of snoring, he has little wings on his back that never grew in properly, his leg+feet muscles are strong enough to support his weight upside down if he so desires! but usually he doesn't do this because sleeping upside down as a full sized guy is not so great for him.

3: on the appearance front still- he is littered with scars from his time in the jungle because late on he was caught in a ton of vines and the thorns left a permanent mark. this is part of the reason his moss hoodie has big floppy sleeves, because the scarring on his arms and hands are particularly bad and sensitive to touch, plus he was just a little self conscious about it for a while (but he's getting better).

4: for some reason i always saw him as... not actually being an "official" mindcrack member? like he IS but. i think i had a dream or something at some point where he was a builder that came on world to fix something up and he ended up just staying LMFAO. a lot of mc guys in my head were like this where they weren't formally invited (even though in real life etho and doc were i still see them as just stumbling in).

5: i don't have much backstory for him compared to some other characters i think he had a pretty normal life prior to the horrors. but i do think he grew up in a pretty remote place. also he grew up with horses because of course he did, he didn't live on a farm or anything but i think there was a ranch nearby and that helped foster his love for the beasts as an adult

6: re:ethubs (predictable) i'm a strong fighter for etho fell first but bdubs fell harder but also etho is an idiot and didn't have the experience or language to understand he was in love so maybe bdubs fell first too. however, he fucking HATED etho for a long time despite also clearly having a huge crush on him and not actually disliking him that much. he's like a tsundere to me, is the best way i can explain it. pause was his wingman on mindcrack for a while but this was a situation that literally nobody was happy about or wanted to happen.

7: i think he's a good baker. not excellent but i think he should get really into baking and making little treats. they probably look way better than they taste because decoration is his favourite part. also said this before but i think he'd get really into star signs for a while but he doesn't take it that seriously he just reads his horoscope every day and then if things go wrong he'll blame that.

8: i could go in depth here about something but this is a sfw blog so i'm just going to gesture vaguely at the one post that's like "i'm into bdsm be dozin so much" and leave it at that.

9: on sleeping- he is just a generally sleepy guy and always has been, but also i think he suffers from a touch of chronic fatigue. nothing that severely impedes him but like, when he goes to bed on time it's because he literally cannot stay up past his bedtime or he will Pass Away

10: when etho left in season 5 he left his headband behind. bdubs took the decorative metal clasp from the front and wove it onto a necklace, kinda like a dog tag. still wears it to this day under his shirt where nobody can see! when etho learned this for the first time he got very. Very emotional. but anyways .

11: (bonus ethubs one because i just remembered it) he HAS watched a lot of etho's lab but didn't before meeting him. he went back and watched some early stuff, but out of respect for etho after learning about his life he never finished it.

[wildmelon]

i wrote this like two months ago when i finished, but im posting it now for my own record lol.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 1

scrambled critical role thoughts and opinions after finishing c1:

oh boy i cried through vax's goodbye scene in the last episode, but holy shit i fucking sobbed through his appearance in dalen's closet. how the fuck was liam so perfect at playing an altered version of vax that was still him at heart. every interaction was perfect. cannot describe how i felt when he addressed scanlan, how the fuck could he come up with such a perfect ingenious opener, i was in tears immediately.

i would not have believed you if you told me when i started that scanlan and grog would have been my favorites at the end of the campaign. (well maybe a little bc i am a confirmed travis stan but seriously i didn't anticipate the level of depth, comedy, and heart he brought to grog). grog's kevdak speech is a campaign highlight for me-- no, a 2023 highlight.

i obviously found scanlan somewhat annoying but funny if often outdated. i kind of just wrote it off as something i'd ignore but sam really made a comeback like damn, i was very happy and surprised when he apologized to pike.

scanlan leaving discourse is old news but for me personally it reminded me of myself in really dark times and the ways poor mental health can make you kinda self-centered. not mad about how any of it went down or how it was resolved, and i love how his and vex's relationship became a highlight for me after his return.

i honestly loved the super high emotional stakes of VM, felt like someone was always mad at someone else, i'm a sucker for inter-party conflict and intense emotional scenes. these guys have so much angst and i love it.

i really enjoyed the tight pacing and goal-oriented episodes. i tend to get stressed out when there's too many broad choices about what to do next in any sort of media lol. this campaign also rly showed me how much i love watching high-level play.

i don't fuck with percy??????? lmfao i don't hate him or anything, i literally can't put it any way besides idfw that man. 😭 he's an interesting character ofc and i do like his friendship with keyleth

keyleth was my fave for most of the campaign. her growth was so rewarding to watch, she made me laugh so many times, i love seeing her become a leader, just adore her and she's such a comfort character to me. bought myself a simple ring with "I have passed through fire" engraved on the inside to celebrate my didn't-kill-myself-aversary this year bc that letter was exactly what i needed to hear 😭

kiki and vax never interested me thatttt much UNTIL they became eternally star-crossed lovers jfc. that is my catnip. tbh it's interesting to me that VM is held up by some as having superior romance to TMN, but i didn't find any of VM's romance super compelling.

since it's been a couple months since i finished, i can add that vex is who i've thought most about since i finished?? i always liked her, loved the grey hunt, adored her relationship with vax, but didn't know i had strong feelings until after i'd finished watching. funny how that happens.

the mighty nein start out fucked up and end up pretty good, while vox machina start out pretty cool and then get super fucked up 😭 much as i love outcasts finding family, it was really fun to watch all these archetypal fantasy Cool Guys just go through so much emotional damage lmao.

[mage-ical-character-person]

*crawls out of the depths*

I’M BACK FROM THE WAAARRRR (I finished chapter 2 of that yandere fandroid fanfiction and I have a few things to say about it)

It was not well written, by any stretch of the imagination. I enjoyed it satirically, don’t get me wrong, but it was BEYOND bizarre and hard to read.

cringe culture is dead, do what you want.

With that being said, let me walk you through my favorite excerpts.

visceral reaction to this block of text. sudden fear and anger. also apparently we fell over from the sheer shock of melody the girlboss but i never saw “y/n fell down” so I assume we’ve been laying down on a skateboard the whole way here. also, adhoc is a highschool here?!!! interesting. call that faulty education system. I wonder if qualia is also a school and they occasionally have football tournaments with adhoc. (adhoc loses repeatedly) also THEY/THEM Y/N??!!!! no way!!! this is like the last fic I would expect to have a they/them reader. Awesome!! we love to see it. also this is like the first time of 2 times we see melody. she just kinda vanishes. that’s an L on the writer’s part ngl.

growled.

growled.

anyways I’m pretty sure “and maria” is a mistake. at the time of when this happens we are accompanied by fandroid and a bot named rose, who idk what she looks like but she’s like our right hand bestie just suddenly. she’s never introduced she just shows up. also maria is like the token mean girl. she has beef with y/n, keep her in mind

again, this confuses maria with rose?!!! fandroid says that rose will “get in the way” (yandere arc incoming) but. Doesn’t do anything about it. you’ll see you’ll see. also INFOCHAN ROBOT???!!! oh god it’s all coming back. I remember my yandere sim phase. also infochan robot has no name and goes by they/them. diversity win, i guess

nooo boy don’t be stressed. it will all be okay. also they have iphones. presumably all of them, but we only see rose and fandroid using them. good for them, i wonder if fandroid has twitter

HE DID IT HE DID IT HE DID IT HE DID IT H

HE KILLED MARIA!!! FUCK YEAH. he threw her off the building. she had it coming. but yeah this is. brutal. but he went from zero to a hundred WAY TOO QUICK. like infobot was like “kill the girl.” and fandroid was like “isn’t there better ways for me to be in a romantic relationship with y/n?!!!?” and then infobot said “I have beef with all of these students. every last one of them. kill the girl” and he was like “lmfao ok I can commit a little murder.” insane. unfathomable.

okay here’s where it gets weirdly heavy.

administration assumed it was a s*icide, and then everyone was called into the gym for the intercom to say “there’s a dead person on campus. go home.” And everyone is crying and panicking (including y/n) because maria didn’t seem out of the usual. and then we get THIS LINE.

fandroid, my partner in crime, you killed her.

like i know this is meant to come off as like cryptic wink wink nudge nudge but it’s just. Lost. It does come off as cold, but not really knowing. silly silly boy

All in all? Funny read. I recommend if you have 40 minutes to kill.

Is it good? No. Absolutely not. I wasn’t expecting it to be. It’s a 1600 word yandere sim fandroid fic. However it had me rolling in like that giddy “this is so silly” kinda way. Maybe it’s just the hyperfixation, but it was throughly enjoyable, I would absolutely force my besties to read this against their will. like I would even draw fanart for this, it was so silly!!

closing notes:

lovely tags. sus

GO HARDER WITH THE YANDERE!!! NOW!!! they just went for classic yandere sim yandere but you could’ve been so unique with it. focus on how y/n feels, watching as these random people & bots go missing. Hell, give us a look at fandroid slowly sprialing from bestie → crush → unhealthy obsession. tell us how he might put up a fight against the urge to kill, until he feels there is no other option. OG yandere chan was “emotionless,” but her crush gave her some sense of feeling, and that’s why she was so promective. However, this au’s fandroid isn’t like that—so… what’s with the murder? Er, well, I’m pretty sure it’s that he hated maria bc maria’s a dick, but after that… what’s the big deal? I’m pretty sure he just hated maria (understandable) but after her… who next? Her bestie? She is mentioned to have a bestie. But bestie didn’t do shit to Y/N. I mean, there’s other stalker behaviors out there, but it’s worth mentioning.

It just. Ends. It’s written like it’s supposed to continue. It doesn’t, and it was last updated September 2022 so I don’t think it ever will. sad,,,

loving the title embellishments. slay

Upon further investigation (me trying to re-find this fic through google) yandere fandroid fics are… strangely common? They’re centered majorly on Wattpad, no shock there. In context, though, it makes sense. (Cue the yandere song; we can’t talk about this fic without bringing it up at least once) Frankly, but I don’t know what I would think fandroid fics would be centered on otherwise. It makes perfect sense. It just shocked me first time I realized that. Every fandom has their keystone trope, and ours is yanderes. Good for us. Love this fandom for that.

Conclusion? Not sure. Maybe just that fandroid fanfiction silly.

This fic was a lot of fun to read, despite it’s many many flaws. Apologies if my ramblings about it made no sense, I have a lot to say.

Excuse me while I go dig my Wattpad out of it’s grave and browse this strange subgenre of fanfiction for what can be classified as purely research reasons. Thank you for your time.

Yes, there is a lot of not-so well written yandere Fandroid stuff. I’ve seen em but I haven’t really looked into any of em beyond a passing glance because I’m not a fan of the Yandere trope all that much and as catchy as Fandroid’s Yansim song is… him being a yandere and being one towards a reader insert just feels… weird? Like not quite right and maybe a little uncomfy.

(Though imagining him doing a murder to perceived romantic rivals only to be immediately called out by a y/n and never do it again more plausible to me. Like he’d be afraid of upsetting someone he cares about, I feel. Or maybe I’m just projecting because upsetting people I care about is my personal least favorite thing. Guilt hurts so much)

Luckily not all Fandroid Fics are “oh what if he was in love with you and totally twisted fucking cycle path about it” and stuff. There’s not a lot though…

There’s the Stargaze AU which was pretty interesting! Not really sure what’s going on with it right now, though. A rewrite I think.

There’s also uh…

SICKDROID - Fandroid AU - superpeeboy - Wattpad

Outside adventures, (A Fandroid based fan fiction) - Hextra - Wattpad

i don’t. I don’t know. Wish there was more or something.

[katzirra]

Spends over an hour talking to my buddy about comics once he finished Loki finally and sent me a meme to fucking talk shit on the poetry boys LMFAO

Casually writes a novel on comic blorbos.......

Jer brought up a really neat point and we kinda went off on like... both our experiences with Marvel comics and how they have a habit of shooting themselves in the foot with their fucking retcons and shit. Mostly like, in terms of it weirdly kinda... detracts from characters and maybe bits and pieces people related to? For me it was what drew me INTO dynamics of characters at times?

Now, I haven't touched a comic in almost 10 years so... anything that happened from the Marvel NOW! launch and forward is a mystery to me, and I'm ignorant on [to preface this long ass post...] Also my memory is spotty.

Also possibly spoilers for the new season if you haven't caught up on Loki :v so yaknow. IF YOU READ THIS AND CARE...

Jer and I were talking about the basis of the show really kinda became like how can we take this fan favorite character, let him have some emotional depth, maybe have some friends and do some fucky stuff with it. LETS GET WEIRD WITH IT??

It kinda harkens back to themes that made me ultimately fall in love with Deadpool comics, and reminds me of why I dropped reading his stuff too. I'll circle back to this lol.

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a huge sucker for a found family, and I'm a bigger sucker for characters defeating fate or the narrative. I'm big on the best friend/possible romantic option of a character that sees what an absolute dumpster fire next to a textile factory someone is, and still thinks there's something good in there.

I find it funny how much I couldn't STAND the hype of Loki as a character as long as he's been in the MCU because my experience with him has always been comics/cartoons and him being a little HOO HOO HEE HEE gremlin of a bastard. Just HATED him. Excellent MCU costume designs though.

The movies he's just a little weasel of a backstabbing bastard, and I find him annoying. Like yes, I see there's emotional trauma in EVERYTHING that makes his background aside from his mother, and yes I get the narrative of him as a villain etc - but I don't feel compelled by it, personally. That's just me though - I'm FASCINATED by people that are civil minded stans and can argue for why he's fascinating. But also, how much of that is personal projection too?

When I was getting into comics, the Siege event was going on so Loki's face was everywhere in like...2010?? So many teeth... And he was KILLED, and they started doing the Kid Loki stuff and I read a little bit of that because two of my RP friends in the Avenger's group I was in - and it was neat! Then in like 2014 they started doing... what was it, Agent of Asgard? That was....something. I never read it but it was interesting to see them make a workaround for them to kinda...breathe new life into a character people were getting into again!

NEAT STUFF, THAT'S NEAT TO ME!! I LOVE A REVAMP LIKE THAT!! I like the Marvel theme of escaping your reputation. I love that theme. It's like what they did with Evan, the uh Kid Apocalypse. I adore the whole aftermath of Uncanny X-Force for that - Evan just...fucking destined to be Apocalypse and fucking he's so DETERMINED NOT TO BE, and to learn his powers etc. I'm pretty sure he became... Genesis? And died fighting... ;; big sigh... at least he proved his worth, right?

But Jer and I talking about all this kinda made me sad too because we were discussing sort of the way Marvel can take an unlikeable bastard, and with the right handling, they can get something REALLY interesting with it!!

When I first got into Deadpool like...2011 or something I did it because I was annoyed seeing him everywhere and thought 'Surely there's more to him than fart and ass jokes?' and I was right, thankfully.

But I'd also spend a lot of time slogging through a lot of shit, and seeing him kind of BECOME only fart and ass jokes... Like, the movies are fun and stuff, I guess but... I honestly can't stand them very much. But that's me, if people enjoy them? Okay, tight. But also like Daniel Way just, OOF.

Interesting parallel - kinda made it click in place WHY I think I've been enjoying the Loki show. Like, when I picked up Deadpool I SLOGGED through the Joe Kelly run, which is just Wade being a little self-depreciating soggy, abusive and shitheaded person really. Hiding behind his paper bag over his face, excusing his actions because shit sucks - like just kind of a shitty awful and exhausting person overall. WOE!!! A piece of shit! And I get some of the shit that happens to him outside the OBVIOUS is fucky - but I don't know, it was kinda relentless. I feel like even when life deals you all lemons, there's still something in there to tell storywise to curb just the ONSLAUGHT of oh wow poor me... Can you tell I don't enjoy this run of comics? LMAO

But as you get through that, you start to get side comics that kinda do a bit more to polish him up. He's a jerk, and he's sensitive to how fucked up his face looks, but he isn't a wet feral animal ALL the time? He's just rude. Really rude. Random. We start to grasp OOOH IT'S AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE TO COVER SHIT WITH JOKES... man, I can relate to that haha HAHAHHA....

I got into reading Cable & Deadpool because my friend Johnly was HUGE into Xmen and it seemed inevitable to get into it... but it was well written and drawn and like... I'm married to it as my favorite comic. Those are my boys. Those are my besties. That's the comic ship I didn't ask for and I got it. That's the bromance/romance I go up to bat for. Any capacity - those are the BOYS. MY SONS.

It's my favorite trope; I've seen your worst, and I still think there's good in you. You just need someone in your corner.

FUCKING SCREAMS. Even still, in a non-shipping way that's my fucking duo DYNAMIC. You will sell me so often on ANYTHING with that.

When Cable and Deadpool came around, it rolled in after the Agent X comic, which gave us like a 'Clone' of Deadpool who had a WHOLE ENTOURAGE OF FRIENDS like a rag tag bunch of misfits who were a very unconventional FOUND FAMILY. Wade was still a fucking dick, a bastard a lot of times - but his friends saw value in him and stuck around still. Even ones he was recently a demon to, like...man.

And even more so; when Nate pulls the dick move of sacrificing himself, he had that support network of friends there for him to process that, because it hurts no matter how you see their relationship. That was his best friend. It hit hard.

It hits hard especially because Nate and him start out moral enemies. Wade hates him because he's holier than thou, and Nate hates him because he's a nuisance, he's a mercenary - there's a laundry list tbh. Untrustworthy. He's scum! The closer they keep rotating around one another - or into eachother even jfc - they start to tolerate one another, and start to talk more, and Nate starts to really talk about how Wade could do better and be better. Wade starts to see value in himself more, he's still sharp tongued with Nate, but he starts to also be a bit softer with him, joke around and sees value in HIM and what he's trying to accomplish with Providence and stuff. He sees the vision - but he also sees the danger of that vision in regards to Nate's LIFE.... So there's a lot of selfish shit on both sides of the fence that's interesting.

They don't always agree, but Wade starts to come around, and Nate does this thing where people will be like YO DEADPOOL BE CRAZY WHY YOU ROLLIN' WITH HIM? And he is in his corner to be like hey, that's my boy Wade like give him a chance? HE'S DIFFERENT NOW. But yaknow they also emotionally manipulate one another in weird ways. :)) SIGH.

GIVE AND TAKE I GUESS. But it's interesting to see the evolution of trust and openness?? They're best friends, you can't argue that.

AND YAKNOW...we were discussing the response to this actually!! In Loki it was interesting to see Mobius say shit like that to him [how he can BE BETTER, he can be whatever he wants to be!!] and he just kinda.... I don't know, he's a villain by definition and yet he's whipped 'round into this anti-hero kinda position that becomes curious. But he doesn't lash out when he's told this shit, because the fight has mostly left by that point. He doesn't know what to do with those words?? Like yeah, okay.

But, conversely, with Nate and Wade... Nate is very heavy handed with it, and Wade is INSANELY volatile with his emotions because of how his brain is always in flux. And...he gets to a point he starts lashing out about it, about how Nate is trying to change him and he's FINE AS HE IS, AND HE'S TIRED OF HIS SHIT. They lash out a lot, but Nate also is kind of a controlling shit. He wants to play god, where as yaknow... Mobius has ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD FOR THE SHITHEAD TO UNDERSTAND IF HE DIDN'T WANNA LISTEN.

Honestly hilarious, the similarities...

But Jer and I were talking about how it's interesting to us that the show really focused on WHO is Loki without his magic. He's a con-man, he's a fast talker, he's a violent little feral cat. He doesn't know what trust and care is honestly, because even in his own family there were so many lies and hostility. So they pit him with this partner who has seen every trick and BULLSHIT THING he's ever said and done, and is like "Yeah yeah big scary God, wow. ANYWAY-" He is both fascinated, complimentary, and utterly flippant about Loki and that's interesting. We meet someone, a whole organization, that isn't phased by the existence of Gods.

It's interesting to see tunnel vision character exploration - small cast exploration - on characters that are deemed bad, but have a weird thing about them that doesn't necessarily mean they're REDEEMABLE, but that they have something that is inherently BROKEN in their past that can be nursed? Latent potential to be good.

They're not hardwired to be good guys, they can be good people, but it's harder and more exhaustive. But sometimes - it's nice.

But uh yeah - SO ANYWAY, moves down the line some more here -

WEIRD SIMILARITIES. But they're there and maybe that's what I liked about the show. You present me with a character I already don't like, you mock him and kinda kick him when he's down and then have this guy show up who is like... not really a fanboy but - HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. He doesn't appear phased at all the shit he can throw at him, and he plants the seed that he can be better.

And I love that the show is two seasons. It's short, it's sweet, it does a lot of really interesting things I'm obsessed with visually and narratively you can fiddle with. It has a very bittersweet ending, but it's not 100% sad for me. I love that they got this irredeemable broken bastard, and they gave him a win - and yet it's still, in Loki's nature, a loss. But he has all the time in the universe to figure things out. If he can ascend like that in just a few centuries - what's to say he can't free himself from his coffin of his own making.

We're given a consequential win, and I've already see fans making fix-its that are PHENOMENAL. My FAVORITE things to see and read for fanfic topics is people playing with the sandbox. I hate that people ALWAYS assume you know, sexual shit when you say you read fanfic - I am OBSESSED with people playing with the sandbox and fixing issues. Continuing the story. Developing insane head canons, coming up with the most INTERESTING INTRICATE IDEAS and still leaving me on a cliff hanger.

You've taken a bastard, redeemed him, and influenced CREATIVE MINDS to play with it in a positive way. I've seen most people express APPROVAL but sadness with the ending and that's I think the best thing to happen! It's how I still feel about the Mass Effect 3 ending :))

Conversely it all really highlighted my sadness of how with comics, we can so easily run a good idea into the ground, and how ya'know... you can see your character MAKE that 180 or you can see them do like a 320 and come out a little worse....

For Deadpool, C&DP ends on a VERY bitter note of Nate sacrificing himself, he is depressed about it, I think they have a big talk with him about it with the Agent X fam? My timeline is fucky with the 3 'ending' points of C&DP - full transparency lol. But... after this comic comes the numerous team ups - like him trying to find his place in the world, and then in like 2008 [which I'd been working towards, and was excited for because the art was really CRISP...] you hit Daniel Way.

Way's Deadpool introduces the ANNOYING yellow box and white box almost as if he was split personalities, where as it was really just like...thought boxes, just colored uniquely... As far as I've read, this has been retconned in recent comics. But it's the big staple in all things Deadpool - but.... Way's Deadpool is very disjointed, he's trying to date and marry death, he's suicidal because he wants to be with her forever, he is a lot of dick and fart jokes that just don't hit for me - he has funny moments but I can't think of a single serious moment I got emotional over?? You gotta give us reasons to connect with our character, or things that hit us to stick with us? I felt like I was just reading low punches a lot?

But it did this weird thing, that I'm trying to find any of the wikis talk about and coming up blank, but there's this point in the comics where in Way's... he basically gets hunted down by his whole support net? It's like a big thing? Like everyone hates him and shit? But somehow EVERY WRITER AFTER THIS ACTS LIKE THINGS WERE FINE~

Like they hunted this man for SPORT it was WEIRD. It was so.... weird?? Going through my own tag I didn't even blog about it... weird??

But I dunno, it left a bad taste in my mouth to like reduce Wade down to like... what they did. C&DP works really hard to kinda get people to see some value in Wade, and then Way's DP just kinda tears that structure down and all he has is Bob left whom he really is AWFUL AS HELL TO....

It's sad to me. The new comics started, and I left shortly after, in like...what...2012? I was really excited for the team, the writers and artists involved and he looked GNARLY but interesting and I loved the colors and - it was gonna be WEIRD and funny... but they kinda kept leaning into the like...

You know when you don't wanna talk to someone, or be seen by someone and you shield your face and walk the other way? I feel like we were back to that with Deadpool. Like it was EMBARRASSING to be seen with him, even though in the aftermath of C&DP we did all those team-ups and had some great cross overs and EVEN HAD A SPIDERMAN COMIC THAT WE SAW THEY COULD BE CIVIL [we all know I hate how Peter treats Wade and I have bad blood with those shippers still :)) never forgive, never forget! But boy howdy he was an ass to him WHICH IS FAIR BECAUSE MORAL DIFFERENCES...] but like?? We were back to HAHA WOW HE'S CRINGE... which is a bummer.

I dunno.

Jer just kinda really hit a nerve in my brain when he pointed out how the show kinda did a thing we don't see the pay off for as often as we should. Turning over a new leaf, and truly discovering what it means to do a selfless action?

And it just kinda reminded me how I love Wade being a SNARKY piece of shit, and how bad he is at trying to be a good person - he's just a weird little guy, he knows he's not a hero and he doesn't really try to be. He just tries to be real with people? But he IS a good ally, and he HAS the capacity to be loyal, and he -

Man like. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE ARC? UNCANNY X-FORCE.

FUCKING ANGEL FROM XMEN HAS A SMALL TEAM AND THEY HAVE A JOB TO DO AND THEY HIRE FUCKING WADE TO COME WITH, AND EVERYONE IS ANNOYED BECAUSE HE'S ANNOYING and he's ya'know DEADPOOL.... and when they get to the fucking end of the mission and it's like hey, you gotta kill this kid Apocalypse? Fucking he DRAWS THE LINE. No women, no kids! He makes a STINK about it. Logan and Fantomex are like yo, what the FUCK you're being paid for this you bastard - and it's Angel or Betsy who points out that Wade never cashed any of the checks.

Like Wade half the time would go along on an Xmen mission just for the benefit of being INCLUDED honestly. Some of the writers use to really GET THAT. He use to hold them with a lot of reverence. And I feel like that was a big thing I was sad about with the movies was removing that kinda "WOOOOW IT'S THE GANG" vibes... he's just kinda... jaded? Hm. Huffs. ME TOO THOUGH LMAO.

Uncanny X-Force is so delightful... and even still too a lot of people...really don't paint him in a loyal light or care about his connections to people and it's sad. In the Messiah War arc like Cable specifically calls on Deadpool to have his back and fight with him while he's transporting baby Hope, and he gets so UPSET when he has to leave. It's not good bye~ and Wade is so sad because he thought they were a team again. AND I WANTED IT SO BADLY, I wanted him to have that stability he deserved, a friend. THE GUY WHO SAW WHAT HE WAS CAPABLE OF.

There's random good moments in random comics, and of course they meet again in a Deadpool & Cable comic, which is good and done by some of the older team. Idk. I wish...

I wish I could still read comics in confidence they wouldn't scrub whole segments of a character.

It's like a post Dazz reblogged the other day about how characters have less weight these days because we're scrubbing lime line events from them in desires to make them TIMELESS and it's detrimental because there's no proportional trauma or event to really add that weight now and then, ya'know?

Me talking for too long.

Loki ended in a way I was pleased with, and I was surprised to end up liking that incarnation of him, and being excited if they expand on him ever again - conversely if they don't wow, EMOTIONAL and amazing regardless. But, uh, they really uh... they really kinda coded that ending as eternal pining with those two. I didn't think much about it until a few weeks later someone posted something and it hit me sideways like a brick. How dare?

And I'm still mourning the fact there was a lot of hard work to get people to take Deadpool seriously as a character in universe, and to get him on teams, and they kinda took everything away from him, just to give him weird new things, only to take that away and rebuild him again. But at least he's FRIENDS with Cable I GUESS. But who knows the fuck is going on with him anymore. He's probably DEAD AGAIN... He sure died and came back wrong in my book :)

But I think that's just the thing with Marvel. You gotta pick your battles, and pick your story arcs to commit to. It's like when people are into a specific writer for Batman or something. SHRUGS.

Me casually being mad my friends can call my favorites, and why so easily and proceed to talk to me about it's narrative themes and character arcs so easily... I'm a predictable fucking pile of shit, I swear to god....

Me rereading this post: IS THIS ANYTHING? IT'S NOTHING. IT'S ALL NOTHING.

[bananaelephant]

Cross Pollination | An Alice in Borderland FanFic

AHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS FIC TOOK SO LONG!!!! I'm so happy that I finished it, and I get to finally post it. Thank you SO MUCH to the wonderful, amazing, perfect WildelyDawn for encouraging me to write this hot garbage and then helping me edit this fucking MONSTER of a fic. Dawn is also the one who came up with the title of the fic / game so thank you very much for helping me with that!! 😭😭 I hate naming shit lmfao.

This one-shot is by far the longest that I've ever written, and I'm honestly kinda glad that I am done with it.

Anyway, please enjoy the degeneracy that is my brain. 😊😊😊

Summary:

When Aguni and Niragi need a fourth for their game, you  go along like a good, little militant—not that you wanted to join them. Things have been a little weird between you and Aguni since that incident with Niragi. Once you’re actually at the arena, it seems like the game (8 of Spades) is oddly easy for its apparent difficulty. What’s the catch? The dealer decided to use sex pollen to spice things up. 😉

Phew, every time I think I’ve discovered the depth of my depravity, I prove myself wrong. And this shit is pretty fuckin’ depraved. Mind the tags. Since this fic involves sex pollen, there are dub-con elements but, tbh, I went into this knowing that I wanted these characters to all want each other lol.

Read the story on Ao3

[fairycosmos]

Anyway. Sorry for the rant.

I did see a ghost, once, as a kid. My story is unfortunately insanely boring and pedestrian compared to the others, here.

I was playing on the doll-filled 4th floor of a 200 yr old hotel, which honestly probably makes me the villain/creepier figure in this, but I digress.

Anyway. Floorboard creaks. I notice it’s quite cold, rather suddenly, but dismiss this, being as I am a kid and do not care.

I look up. Silhouette of…. What looks to be an… Older man in a like. 1910’s era trench-coat, and some kind of hat, but not sure of the kind, because he kind of just looked like a shadow with depth.

Did not initially think he was a ghost. Just assumed he was an older guy who responded to the clattering I was making with the dolls.

My only concern was the way he was standing there, evidently staring, or at least, pointed dead in my direction and not moving.

Stared back for a solid 7-8 seconds, he did the same, and then I did the autism tbh creature face, and went back to playing with “my” antique dolls in the attic of a 200 yr old hotel.

Did not look up again until I heard the floor creak, whipped my head up, saw him walking forward. He melted into a deep shadow, and didn’t come out.

But the floorboards on my side of the dark groaned, right where his trajectory would have taken him.

Hissed autistically, being as I was that kinda kid, and scrambled out of there so fast I almost went over the bannister.

Think I was probably honestly the “haunting” in this story, because in all honesty, I wasn’t supposed to be up there, had been told not to go up there, and went up anyway, proceeding to mess with a bunch of antiques which did not belong to me.

Srry mister dead guy & also— Sorry for hissing at you it wasn’t personal there’s just stuff wrong with my brain.

Tldr: Trespassed and probably honestly made a dead guy’s day worse.

LMFAO man this is what you get for sneaking around in a 200 year old hotel and playing with antique probably haunted dolls and being a general menace. i like to think he thought you were the ghost - some little kid from another dimension messing with his daughters belongings or something. anyway, if i were you i think i wouldve died for real in that moment. bc like. where did he go. what is the logical explanation for this other than childhood imagination and the brain being a weirdo, which is ofc plausible. it's just weird, though. you were definitely the little haunting in this story, wandering the halls and hissing at people like the dead ghost child in a movie 😭 ty for sharing!!

[bruh-changbin]

ok i can be honest… so think pink isn’t bad at all it’s just a little clunky. mc comes across as a pick-me, or self-centered. she’s rude to seemingly everyone for reasons we don’t know. it’s a little bit unrealistic because it’s hard to tell what jeongin and mc are fighting about? you probably could have made it flow more naturally than it is. but i don’t think it’s bad at all and it’s a fun idea too. maybe you need more revision? just read over your own work a few times to make sure it doesn’t sound awkward. build somewhat of a narrative and structure for mc. what does she like, what doesn’t she, etc. make her feel like a real solid identity. then i think it will be perfect!

anon I just wanna say THANK YOUUUUU for actually giving me like good constructive criticism 🙏🏼 I’ve had some of my writer friends revise my stuff but I’ve never had a reader actually tell me their thoughts like this so the only critiques I’ve had are from writers who critique from a writers perspective and not from a reader perspective……. if that even makes sense lmfao

I totally understand what you mean by it feeling clunky. I actually started this fic last year and was gonna post it last halloween but didn’t finish it so then when I went to actually finish it for this year I had like all of the main plot points written and had to kinda fill everything in? which in hindsight I feel like I should’ve scrapped and just started over to make it feel a lot more coherent and just flow better

I also wrote the majority of it in like 3 days (which I will usually work on a fic for like a week minimum even if it’s short bc I just need to sit with what I’ve written before revising/posting) and posted bc I already said I was gonna post it for Halloween and didn’t wanna go back on my promise 😭 so I def def get that it feels kinda unstructured

in terms of providing more background on mc or other characters is that what you guys like reading? because I also enjoy getting background but am always nervous that I’m droning on for too long and that people will wanna get into the real meat of the story sooner yk? and ik a lot of the fics that perform really well are ones that kinda dive right into stuff. BUT if that’s smth you feel like would be beneficial especially to fics that are this kinda vibe (which is like most of my fics lol) then I will definitely do that, I just don’t wanna feel like I’m adding stuff that’s unnecessary and that people might skip over, yk? so like… is more in depth explanation of a character or relationship or whatever what people want? bc I am happy to deliver again I just don’t wanna feel like I’m babbling on for too long

all of that being said lol think pink def isn’t a fic that I’m particularly proud of so I super super duper appreciate you letting me know your thoughts anon, I cannot stress how much it means to me that you read my work and saw my rb asking for feedback and actually took the time to send me this 🙏🏼 as a writer it means a lot when people actually engage with me whether it’s helpful asks like this or just saying hi or WHATEVER, I love interacting and chatting w y’all regardless and love your feedback 😭 but yea thank youuu anon I’m so glad you shared your thoughts and I will def keep them in mind and apply them as I’m working on my next fic (which is not for skz lol sorry) 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💗💗💗💗

more asks like this please!!! pls engage w your writers when they ask for feedback!!!

[ritual-misery]

18-10-2023 🎧

yesterday was very up and down 💀 and i knew it was gonna a mess the second i forgot my earphones at home. those shits r my lifeline. riding the bus in silence was torturous

anyways. yesterday something happened that hasn't happened in a while... i got gendered as female. usually, where i am now in my transition, i'd say i get gendered as male 99% of the time. ages vary; usually people think i'm some 13 year old LMFAO but chemically i am 13 so i mean... there u go. but nonetheless they read me as a guy

but yesterday was different. it was after my last class of the day and these girls started talking to me about the material and whatnot. then we went to some public event thing happening outside and as we're sitting there i get called "she" when one of the girls says something abt me to the other one. i thought, maybe i misheard. but then they started talking about the traits they hate in guys... then i was called a baddie... sooooo 😭

honestly i feel nothing about it. maybe a bit awkward cause eventually its gonna come up that im actually a guy. and its gonna be weird. but it kinda made me think. like yeah, i get gendered as male a lot, but honestly im still pretty androgynous. i have no facial hair yet, my face is still kinda round, i wear earrings (non-feminine ones), and i'm short. so someone could easily read me for a girl as much as they read me for a guy. i notice that when i do get misgendered, it's usually by girls. other guys always gender me right. the rare times i'm read as female it's usually by a girl. curious as to why

but nonetheless it happened. and it reminded me that i have a long way to go in my journey. and that i shouldn't get too proud and think that i'm mr. unclockable all of a sudden. i have some time to wait before my face changes dramatically or i grow facial hair (although im trying to get my hands on some minoxidil), but there are more areas where i can masculinize as i wait. like working out and doing different things with my hair. i'm gonna try and style it different because i feel like it makes me look so feminine and it bothers me lmao. it's this overgrown mullet thing, and the process of growing out the sides is making me want to go bald. in my deluded brain i feel that if i finally grow out my hair long it'll actually help me look more male? cause it'll cover my face and make me look a little older (i feel that lots of young boys have short hair while longer hair would indicate maybe an older guy? idk 💀)

it's easy to get discouraged, i think. i found my mind saying, "a cis guy would never have to deal with something like this." but then it occurred to me that i'm not a cis guy. i'm gonna have different experiences in life than one, and i shouldn't use the average cis guy's life as a marker for mine. it'll just leave me unsatisfied and feeling like a failure when i've failed nothing. i gotta focus on myself and what im doing. i'm not cis so my life is not gonna be similar to that of cis people's. and that's not a shitty thing

oh and here's my second problem. i ran out of testosterone. i'm with this specialized doctor right now and he's very hard to reach out too. long story short, the next time i see him is in november... i ran out of T last week. today's my shot day, actually. so i'm concerned. i know that nothing monumental will happen to me over 3 or so weeks, but the only thing i really don't want to happen is my period returning. which it surely will. so now i have to do a final hail mary: at the very beginning of this, i got a prescribed vial that i wasn't able to receive because of a problem with insurance. there's a chance that the vial is still sitting in the pharmacy now. will i probably have to pay? yeah. but i mean.. what choice do i have. i would rather pay and take the T than wait three weeks and have my body go through crazy mood swings and my monthly returning from the shadowy depths. so i'm about to call the pharmacy and see what they say. at least i can try. it's been one year, so the doctor is going to give my prescription to my family doctor to have him deal with it (special doctor only handles patients for one year), but my fam doctor will probably ask me to give it to someone else. so i should start researching some endos in the area

alas. weird life, weird events. today i got no classes and i'm gonna try and get stuff done. there's minimal things i need to do for school, so non-academic tasks are getting prioritized. ESPECIALLY my workout. it's been way too long, and i'm trying to get all buff now so when summer hits i'm chilling. plus it's winter coming soon so what else am i supposed to do lmao. also gonna try and buy some stickers to decorate my laptop today. very whimsical and fun ofc

[iamanartichoke]

I need spoilers for episodes 5 and 6. They've got to be out there. I can't take two more weeks of this.

I think what's giving me this vaguely ill feeling, right now, is the sinking realization that there was no grander plan behind Loki's getting drunk, breaking the Timepad, just general kinda incompetent behavior. There were theories and there were hints and subtext and it amounted to nothing.

Cut for spoilers/negativity, sorry.

Basically I'm getting major "that opening scene in IW was just too full of holes, the-sun-will-shine-on-us-again, one little dagger, Loki has to have something up his sleeve - oh .... no, no he's really dead, there was no greater plan" flashbacks.

It's so incredibly frustrating for Loki's narrative to come so close to something profound, again and again, only to swing and miss at the last second. The pieces are there. The threads are there. And tptb keep choosing to just ... sit on them, bc idk, it's easier for Loki's complexity to remain unexplored?

Tom says that episodes 4 and 5 are where the series takes off and I'm just like, you can't wait until the second to last episodes to have something happen! You've been dropping breadcrumbs since episode 1 - episodes 4 and 5 are where you start to sweep them up! You've only got 6 total!

Also, I was really interpreting Loki having confused friendship with romance, bc that's what makes the most sense for his character but then there was this, and the aforementioned 'oh so this really is just surface-level material and I shouldn't even waste my time examining the subtext and context clues' feeling occurs. (Note - this article isn't overly flattering to Loki, bc of course it isn't, so just be aware of that before reading.)

So, yeah, it's just - it's not exactly the content of this episode that has me so upset. I can live with bad plots and dangling threads. Lord knows I tolerate other, arguably much more terrible tv shows for the sake of the parts I like (Reign, Once Upon a Time, a few seasons of Pretty Little Liars, just to name a few).

It's not the content. It's the refusal of tptb to take Loki's character to the depths he deserves, especially since they promised us that this series would really explore his identity and his gender and all of these things that the fandom mostly has wanted. It's frustration in the overall way the surface-level plot makes Loki's characterization suffer. And it's definitely the trigger of those feelings of heartbreak and fury and denial and grief that followed IW. I practically have ptsd from that death scene.

(I realize that these are hefty words to use to describe one's reaction to fiction, especially in the sense that an emotional downward spiral is being legitimately triggered by a tv show, but - look, everyone already knew I was cringe, okay, so leave me alone with my feelings.)

I think that if the show had more episodes, there would have been hope for it? Like all the breadcrumbs that have been dropped implied lots of fascinating things to be explored, but they just didn't have room to explore them as thoroughly as they'd need to in order for all of it to have an impact. Loki/Sylvie does not feel earned. Mobius turned on the TVA super quickly (so did B-15, for that matter). Ravonna went from kinda sus to outright villain in, like, ten minutes. And Loki and Mobius's friendship didn't exactly come out of nowhere, bc it was set up as the outcome from the first episode (in my opinion) but it did happen much too quickly. It wasn't earned, either. And the reason I'm harping on this is because these are all really good character journeys that could have been done so much better - yeah, even Loki/Sylvie - if they had just paced them better, used more of their own subtext, and had a few more episodes in which to develop the characters alongside the complicated plot.

(Yeah, there may be a season 2, but I'm not here for waiting a whole nother year or so for it to be filmed, produced, and released only for it to continue to ultimately not meet my expectations.)

So, yes. I'm sorry for the negativity; I realize I went from "hey I mostly liked this! It wasn't that bad!" to "I will ragequit and kill everyone in this story and then myself" in, like, a few hours but - well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'll most likely rewatch it again tonight. I may or may not cry it out and then do my best to enjoy the remaining two episodes for what they are, not for what they could or might be. Once the rawness of all of this fades, I'll focus on the things I liked and come up with my own headcanons, I suppose. Or maybe I'll overall change my mind again. Idk. Whatever. I just need a glass of wine and a few more xanax tbh. (Great. Now fiction is going to give me a drug problem as well lmfao.)

Also - it is actualy really, really funny that, if you think about it, it turns out that a fanfic by Tom isn't actually all that good. (I'm being facetious, but the general sentiment is true.) I'm sorry, Tom. I know you're excited about this and you said this episode was your favorite, so I hope you don't see some of these reactions (either here, or on twitter, or reddit, or wherever he may end up) and feel bad about yourself/your project. I guess there's just no universal cup of tea for everybody.