#knowing what your partner's favourite insect is is true love

[me-sploh-rada-imas]

finally figured out what jan and nace talk about during gigs

[dmagedgoods]

Oooh I kind of want to ask all of these for all of your OCs 😳

For Sal: 🍑, 💧, 🌷

For Eneas: 🍒, 🍊, 🥝, 🔮

Aaaa, this took forever, I'm so sorry. And thank you so much for the great questions. 💕

Salvadore

🍑 Where is your OC’s favourite place to relax or calm down? Recount a story of their time spent in this place! What makes it so special to them? Answered here! 😊 But I forgot the second part of the question and use the opportunity to add it now, ha: Is there anywhere your OC hates to go to? Anywhere that stresses them out or have negative memories of? If we talk about in-game places? Salvadore isn’t good with insects and almost died at Leper’s Smile just by having to run through the first part of the caverns. In a wider sense? He is never as stressed or feels as tense as in his parent’s estate. Even more so during family meetings. The whole house, despite being quite beautiful, fills him with a feeling of threat and underlying anger caused by bitter, painful childhood memories and anything resulting from those. 💧 What is the earliest memory your OC can recall? Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps? Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes? Salvadore remembers a scene in the garden of the estate of his parents during a small party, he must have been 3 or 4 years old and sat on the ground near a table, trying to build a tower from wooden cubes. His brother, two years older than him, was running around, saw the tower, and destroyed it. There is the vague memory of how he tried to complain to his father who barely took notice of him. But he picked up his brother to greet some guests with him on his arm. It’s weird, the casual moments deciding to stay. He also remembers the pride in the eyes of his father whenever he looked at his brother. Those are the only moments he can recall them showing anything but cold and discontentment. Salvadore doesn't know what his first word has been. (It was Mama.) His first steps he did in his rooms of the family estate with one of the nannies. He rarely feels sentimental towards objects, definitely not towards baby clothes or stuffed toys, or other things reminding him of his childhood. – Except for some of his own drawings, books, and gifts he got from Eneas. Those he all kept. 🌷 In what ways would your OC alter their body if they could? How would they do it using mundane means (hair dye, surgery, make-up?). What is their ideal look for themself? There is nothing about his body Salvadore would alter. Quite the contrary. If it’s in his power, he will prevent his body from changing. (Aside from very small things maybe, should life lead in this direction or that, growing his hair, a tattoo, or something similar, but he needs a strong reason before he alters his body.) Salvadore is terribly conceited regarding his appearance too and he works hard to look as flawless as he does: intense physical training, an extensive body-care routine, expensive products …, it belongs to his expectations for himself to always look as immaculate as possible. ~~~ Eneas

🍒 What kind of things do they expect from their relationships? Does this differ between platonic relationships and romantic ones? Is your OC “demanding” or a door mat? What kinds of things do people expect from them in a relationship? Eneas doesn’t expect. If a person captivates him so much and causes feelings in him that are strong enough for him to break his codex, he wants to see where it leads and only follows intuition instead of a plan. Of course, the more it grows the more he yearns for it to last forever and is willing to shape the bond in the necessary ways he starts to long for too. It’s not an expectation, not a demand, but what he needs in it: loyalty, faithfulness, devotion, for his partner to move on his side even if they’re apart for a small piece of the way, attention, and unrestricted love. If not in a true relationship, Eneas doesn’t differ much between platonic and “romantic” forms of affection. He sees interesting people and plays his games, whatever they involve. Of course, there are rare cases where people get closer. But he doesn’t have firm expectations for his friends either and just enjoys what there is and where it develops. In a relationship with someone, this person will become his exception, what guides him, his meaning, and of intense importance to him. He is neither demanding nor overly submissive in his behavior, instead, he needs to be invited into the person’s realm and will invite them into his in return. People expected a lot from Eneas during his long life, they all had slightly (sometimes strongly) different ideas of who he is or should be, and in most cases, he directed those expectations in ways that were useful for him. 🍊 What is your OC’s favourite meal? Snack? Dessert? Drink? Any reasons behind this besides liking how it tastes? I answered this one here and, you won’t believe it, once more forgot to write about the second part. 😂 What is your OC’s most hated food? Stuff they can’t stand to eat or drink? Eneas lived on the streets, I don’t think anyone could find him food worse than some of the things he ate to survive. Furthermore, he’s curious and loves to discover new dishes and tastes, and even collects interesting recipes. He’s not too fond of oysters and other mussels (with exceptions) and food with slimy consistency in general, but he’s far from picky and has no strong aversions. 🥝 What does a bad mental health day look like for your OC? Walk us through it with them. What kind of things can help them out of this slump and what kinds of things comfort them when they start to feel like this? During bad mental health days, Eneas becomes wistful, sometimes slightly anxious should it be caused by an actual threat to his life, power, or loved ones. In most cases, though, it’s a heavy melancholy combined with agonizing thoughts. He will lose himself in his own bitterness for a while and muse heavily and intensely about life, the gods, and humankind. What helps him a little in those phases, is music – his own or listening –, or watching people in mundane, but peaceful and happy scenarios. If it’s a truly bad case caused by a reason, only an actual resolution will help and until he found a way to reach it, he will stay much more distant in his wanderings and observations. 🔮 Star gazing or cloud watching? Hand-holding or snuggles? Early mornings or late nights? Star gazing and a conversation about all the different worlds out there. Handholding and snuggles. There is a right time for each. Not too rarely even a time for both simultaneously. Late nights after an eventful or relaxed day full of impressions with the time to deepen them or contemplate or add some more.

[mysticalnightenthusiast]

NSFW Alphabet-Valtteri Bottas

********************************************************************** This is for my friend in the fandom @an-ocean-blue​.  She helped me so much in writing this alphabet I wanted to credit her as an author but she said it wasn’t necessary.  I hope you all like reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

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a-aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

After a bit of a cuddle he’ll always get up and fetch you a towel or a washcloth from the bathroom.  He’ll then allow you to snuggle up to him and doze off.  Then after waking up he’ll tease you about snoring.

b-body part (their favorite body part of their partner’s)

Val loves his eyes, more specifically the colour.  On you it’s all your curves and soft bits, you’re not a stick insect and he likes that.

c-cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Inside you.  Every-single-time.

d-dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Val doesn’t keep secrets from you; you’ve got an open relationship in that regard. Communication is both of your strong suits.

e-experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

The man is experienced AF and has a lot of partners though only a couple of long term relationships

f-favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary or cowgirl.  Missionary allows him to look into your eyes as you come and cowgirl allows him to grab your hips or boobs as you ride him.

g-goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

In the moment Val is serious AF.  It’s on the comedown when he playfully tickles your sides that things get a bit goofy.

h-hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Not hairless.  Has never waved or shaved but keeps things very short and trimmed neatly.

i-intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Off the fucking charts

j-jack off (masturbation headcanon)

If the mood strikes Val doesn’t mind jerkin’ the gherkin but prefers you to be in the same room or at least on Facetime.

k-kink (one or more of their kinks)

Outdoor sex.  His house in Finland is semi-rural and the nearest neighbour is miles away so getting it on on a picnic rug down by the lake in front of his sauna house gets him off particularly intensely.

l-location (favorite places to do the do)

Same as K but not like ‘Hey how abut we have sex outside today?” outdoor sex will always be prefaced by a nice walk outside that ends with him fucking you up against a tree or on a rug after a nice lakeside picnic.

m-motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Sweet dirty talk.  Valtteri Bottas is a true romantic but knows when a bit of dirty talk is appropriate, usually a whisper in your ear whilst at the track or whilst you’re doing something horribly domestic like the dishes after dinner.  He also really likes it when you whisper naughty sweet nothings in his ear just before he goes into a strategy meeting or when you’re relaxing on the couch after a long day at work.

n-no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Pain.  Val doesn’t like receiving or inflicting it.  A bit of spanking in the moment is fine but he’ll never bite, hit or scratch you.

o-oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Always prefers penetrative sex but would ever turn down a blow job.

p-pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Whatever the mood calls for.  Mostly slow and sensual.  He wants you to feel everything and wants to feel everything.

q-quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not his favourite way of getting laid, much prefers to take his time to take you apart bit by bit.

r-risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

In terms of experimenting with new positions or locations sure he’ll try things (you never know when you’ll unlock anew kink hey?) but he’s not into taking risks for the sake of taking risks especially with you.

s-stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Ah-may-zing stamina, he lasts the longest of anyone you’ve ever been with but once he’s come himself that’s usually it for him for the night but he always makes sure its after you.

t-toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Has used them with you in the past but you much prefer just him and his skill (Those fingers man!)

u-unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not a tease as such but he definitely believes slow and steady wins the race and oh boy what a race it usually is!

v-volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Definitely not a screamer/bellower, soft and mellow like his public persona.

w-wild card (a random headcanon for the character) 

Once after joining Valtteri in the gym you two retreated to his sauna room for a bit of post workout r&r and things quickly got hot and heavy (in the figurative a literal sense) you were already naked and fairly soon after closing the door behind you Valtteri had you bent over the bench and was railing you from behind both hands around your throat.  Now the sauna is a favourite spot for both of you to get it ooooooooooooon.

x-x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Definitely nothing to be embarrassed about.  He’s happy with what he’s packing for sure. 

y-yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

You and Valtteri match each other perfectly.  He’ll happily give you a sensual massage and will get you off with his fingers and mouth and then cuddle you afterward.  Not every erection needs an orgasm.

z-zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Valtteri often falls asleep before you but only because your lovemaking is usually so intense and that takes a lot out of a guy.  He always apologises for it and you always tell him he doesn’t need to.

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A/N2:  Please like or re-blog if you liked this installment!  A masterlist will soon be up and the other drivers and a few other F1 personalities alphabets are planned.  If you have an idea for a NSFW alphabet please hit up my inbox!

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[pokedigi]

Hcs of a outgoing, popular tamer (m) having feelings for his shy, soft spoken and kind Tentamon (f) partner but so does a excitable, hyper, outgoing Gammamon (m) and the tamer and Gammamon, whose tamerless, fights over the Tentamon? Please and thank you

M!Tamer x F!Tentomon x M!Gammamon

💙: love this. Tentomon is underrated and needs more love from the fandom.

(this is a long one, so It'll be under the cut)

being a super popular Tamer was great

not only did some younger Tamers want to be just like you when they grow up

you also got the attention of a lot of pretty girls

but with all these girls wanting to be with you, you had your heart set on your partner, Tentomon

there was just something about her that made your heart swoon

she was always so shy, so kind to you

the way she would cover her face and blush whenever you looked at her

or hide behind you went she felt scared or embarrassed

you found that so adorable

and every day you wanted to confess your feelings, but you just couldn't

but today was the day you decided you were going to tell her how you truly felt

so after the two of you finished lunch, Tentomon wanted to explore the area a bit

to which you let her do so

as it would give you some time to think up a good way to confess

but then you heard some bushes rattling nearby

thinking it was something dangerous, you got up and went to go find Tentomon

but what came out was a lone Gammamon, which looked like it was looking for someone or something

relaxing a bit, you asked the young Digimon what he was looking for

to which he replied he was looking for a Tentomon

you said that your partner was a Tentomon which immediately caught his attention

and like on queue, Tentomon came back carrying in her arms with what looked to be various berries and fruit

she asked what was going on but was cut off by a now heart eyed Gammamon coming straight towards her

this spooked the poor Digimon, causing her to drop the picked food and hide behind you

you stopped the Gammamon and asked why he was coming at her like that

you didn't like anyone scaring her like that

to which he replied that he loved her

another someone after his partner's heart? not on your watch!

not wanting to confess right here and then, you challenged the Digimon to a "game" to see who can give Tentomon the best gifts

this left Tentomon confused, but went along with it anyway

so for the next few days you and Gammamon tried to one-up each other

he gave her random berries, sparkling rocks, and a stick necklace

while you gave her her favourite berries, a book about insects in the Real World, and a scarf for the upcoming winter

poor Tentomon didn't know who to pick the winner for this game

but after some thinking and looking at all the lovely gifts she got, she finally decided the winner

it was her Tamer!

Gammamon.exe has stopped working

she didn't want to leave Gammamon completely heartbroken, so she gave him a kiss on the cheek and said that she'll forever keep his gifts

that made him cheer up a bit and blush

later that day, after saying your goodbyes to your new Digimon friend, you crouched down and placed a hand on her cheek and finally confessing your feelings

at first Tentomon didn't know what to say

but after taking in her Tamer's true feelings about her, she would lean up and kiss you briefly on the lips before moving away and covering her face in embarrassment

you laughed and held her close

after a long time hiding those feelings, she was finally yours

[autoraton]

Fantasy High Asks

because every fandom needs an ask meme, alright? and also maybe because i have way too much time on my hands. enjoy!

the bad kids: tell us about your closest friends!

adaine abernant: if you could ask one question about the future and receive a true answer, what would you ask?

fabian seacaster: how do you think you have grown as a person over the last year?

figueroth faeth: give us a mini playlist of five songs that best define you

gorgug thistlespring: what is the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

kristen applebees: what would you be the patron saint of?

riz gukgak: have you ever thrown up in someone’s bag?

aelwyn abernant: if you could pick a movie or tv show to star in, what would it be?

the hangman: tell us about your pets! and if you don’t have any, what kind of pet do you want?

bill seacaster: what is the most chaotic impulsive thing you have ever done?

hallariel seacaster: if you had to lose one of your five senses, which would you pick?

cathilda the black: give us a fantasy high headcanon!

ragh barkrock: favourite kind of pizza?

ayda aguefort: what is the biggest thing that has ever gone over your head?

jawbone o’shaughnessy: if you could pick any real or fictional person to have as a father figure, who would it be?

tracker o’shaughnessy: would you want to be a werewolf or vampire?

gilear faeth: does gilear have rights?

sandra lynn faeth: what fantasy high character are you the most similar to?

gorthalax the insatiable: which of the seven deadly sins do you embody best?

sklonda gukgak: when you have cereal, what is your milk to cereal ratio? do you pour milk or cereal first?

pok gukgak: if you could pick one non-fictional deceased person to meet in an afterlife, who would it be?

zelda donovan: what is the most awkward or embarrassing thing you have ever done?

penny luckstone: have you ever babysat?

ostentatia wallace: have you ever hosted or been to a party?

zayn darkshadow: if you were a spooky ghost, how did you die, and what would you do now?

arthur aguefort: if you could go back in time to any point, where would you go?

bud cubby: sweet or savoury?

alistair ash: if you could freeze time for a day, what would you do?

garthy o’brien: do you have or want any tattoos?

zaphriel: have you ever been kicked out of anything?

doreen: what is your favourite 90s song?

johnny spells: what loot would you drop if you died?

biz glitterdew: do you have any favourite video games?

coach daybreak: what school subject would you want to teach?

penelope everpetal: what is your favourite article of clothing that you own?

kalvaxus: favourite all-time fictional villain?

chungle-down bim: is there anybody  that you hope you never run into again?

captain james whitclaw: pirate, cowboy, or knight?

baron: what was your most recent lie?

kalina: tell us about a strange dream you had

nightmare king: did you have any irrational fears when you were a kid?

night yorb: what is the spookiest scene from fantasy high? 

helio: what is your favourite season of the year?

sol: what is your favourite thing to do on a warm, bright, sunny day?

galicaea: it’s the middle of the night, and you're leaving home. where are you going?

cassandra: alien, ghost or cryptid?

thistlespring tree: what does your ideal home look like?

strongtower luxury apartments: do you have coffee, tea, or energy drink vibes?

seacaster manor: would you rather travel deep in the ocean or up in space?

mordred manor: if you could live in a manor with five people, real or fictional, of your choice, who would you pick?

durinson mithral factory: if you are a content creator, give us a sneak peek of something you are currently working on

st. owen’s memorial hospital: who would you want cast in a hypothetical live action production of Fantasy High?

mumple school: who is your favourite npc character?

hudol college: who is your favourite pc character?

aguefort academy: what high school archetype best fits you?

the black pit: have you ever been to a concert?

basrar’s soda fountain: what is your favourite flavour of ice-cream?

cravencroft cemetery: tell us about an oc!

elmville: tell us about your hometown!

bastion city: what city would you want to visit or live in?

hotel cavalier: do you have a middle name?

the swan’s little parade: what is your favourite place to go out to eat?

fallinel: have you ever been to camp?

highcourt: if you could pick three languages to be able to speak fluently, outside of the ones you already know, what would you pick?

the celestine sea: if you were a merperson creature, what kind of aquatic life form would you want your non-human half to be?

leviathan rock city: favourite fruit?

the gold gardens: if you could have any meal right now, what would you have?

compass points library: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

the row and the ruction: if you could pick one fantasy high character to fight, who would it be?

forest of the nightmare king: what would you have encountered in the forest of the nightmare king?

solace: what is your favourite holiday?

spyre: what would your d&d class and race be if you lived in the world of spyre?

hilda hilda: have you ever gotten away with a ridiculous lie?

the ball: do you have any nicknames?

ribbon-dancing: do you have any interesting but useless skills?

romance partner: do you have or want a romance partner? describe your ideal person! 

are you my dad?: what is something you are searching for?

spring break: freshman or sophomore year?

hoot growl: do you have any catchphrases?

owl bears: what is something you hope to see in future seasons of fantasy high?

bloodrush: do you play any sports?

shrimp party: what’s an inside joke you have with your friends?

cell tower: if you had wings, what kind of wings would they be? feathered, reptilian, insect?

van boat: if you could choose one song to be able to perform absolutely perfectly, what song would you pick?

half-dead oyster: do you play any instrument, and if not, what instrument would you like to be able to play?

sexy rat: if you were a mythical creature, what would you be?

palimpsest: if you had to remain in one location for the rest of your life, where would you want that to be?

battle sheet: if you had a superpower, what would it be?

arquebus: if you could own any item from fantasy high, what would it be?

corn cutie: if you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

[takenbypeter]

Ello ello!

I'm not sure if your ships are still open but I would love a marvel ship exchange!

For you, I would ship you with Thor!!!

You are both VERY happy go lucky, I feel like you would both go on spontaneous adventures and live a carefree relationship, always seizing every moment together! There would be SO many laughs, and Thor would bring so much humor and be such an extrovert that he would help bring you out of your shell very quickly when you first meet him. You would open up in no time! He would be super cringey and romantic because this man has no chill, he would be so traditionally romantic which I think fits well with your romantic nature too. And he would love sharing all your hobbies with you, especially food haha! And don't worry, he would scare the insects away by threatening them with his hammer - "Ah! Six-legged creature! Do not hurt her or you will feel my wrath!" Also, I feel like Thor is also very very forward and blunt whether he realises it or not, and so he would look for a partner who was also a bit blunt sometimes to avoid anyone getting offended haha. I think overall you are both a great match 💛💛

My name is Alexandra, 22, female, straight. I study Theology and Religion at university - I study the Bible, alternative theories surrounding it, and the true intended meaning of each passage. Appearance wise, I am average height, I have deep blue eyes, and I like to dye my hair bold colours. At the moment, my hair is split dye blue and black 💙🖤 I also have a lot of piercings, and I wear a mixture of gothic and boho style clothing. I also have a lazy eye which sometimes I can get a little insecure about if I meet new people. I LOVE animals, and I have a pet rabbit and axolotl. My favourite animals are cats and ducks. I would describe myself as very compassionate and giving, and very loyal to my friends and relationships no matter what. I have gone through domestic abuse in the past which does mean I find it harder to trust people, and I am healing more and more every day. But once you get to know me and i feel comfortable, I can be quite the extrovert! My hobbies are mainly based around spirituality. I am a Pagan witch, paranormal investigator, and I have my own tarot card reading business 🔮 I also collect teddy bears, and haunted bears/dolls. My favourite music is both rock and heavy techno, and i love horror movies and Scooby Doo ♥️♥️♥️♥️

exchange ship for @like-what-the-fuck-scoob

Hey hey hey! I’m so excited! you’re my first actual ship, eep so hyped 🥳 also thanks for the ship back, I love it 🤍

Bucky Barnes

I’m being 100% honest when I say I didn’t even look at your page until after writing this. At first glance I think he might find you odd. The bold hair, the bold piercings, being a Pagan Witch, let me tell you, he would definitely find this sort of strange, only because he’s still getting used to how different the world is from what he remembers. After some time though, he’d find your hobbies and business less strange and more intriguing, he’d definitely be curious. Seems like the type to join you in your investigations, initially out of curiosities, would definitely enjoy hearing the stories behind the haunted dolls and bears. Bucky has been through his own abuse so he knows how much of a struggle dealing with that is. And since he doesn’t want you to ever go through what you went through ever again, he tries his hardest to make everyday with you count. But because of his own trauma, there have been some moments where he’s slipped into self doubt and that’s where you come in. Together you’d build each other up, promising to protect one another. The fact that you can be extroverted balances out with his introverted-self. In public settings he’d definitely be stuck to your side, because you make him feel comfortable, safe. Definitely the type to admire you from afar. You could be helping someone with a simple task and he’d watch and think to himself, ‘that’s my girl.’ All in all, I think you two would be super cute together and you could introduce him to a lot of new things, turning them into fun dates together.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I had fun writing it! Thanks for requesting  🦾💙

[obeymematches]

Hi may i ask for a matchup? I'm kinda energetic but im very much an introvert. I'm not good at social interactions but I like performing. I really like anime and video games and books, especially fantasy and horror stuff. But I love dressing up cute and fancy like. I have a passion for drawing and dancing and singing. I'm kinda prone to depressive episodes and I have low self-esteem but I'm working on being more confident in myself and seeing myself in a less harsh light! (1/2) ♡

I love animals, (especially cats) but im scared of insects. I tend to get distracted a lot and I have to keep a timer on the things i need to do so I dont end up playing an 10 hour long entire game. But like learning. I think always learning new things is what makes one smart and I want to learn new languages. My ideal partner is someone who can be my bestfriend as well as my s/o. Anyone who can laugh with me and understand me and vise versa. Thats all have a nice day! (2/2) ♡

Hi! 

Thank you for sending in a request, I hope you like the results! 

Hmmmm okay so I think the perfect match is Levi! 💯

Here is why: 

Both of you have trouble with social interactions so I think that would be a good start when it comes to understanding the other. It will probably slow things down a bit, but it’s always worth the wait! 

The fact that you are introverted implies that you probably won’t drag him out of his room often and you also value some independent alone time, just like he does. So it’s not a conflict when you don’t want to do the same thing as him all the time or being in the same room for too long. Nothing like having some time to refresh! 

With him you will definitely preform or act something out a lot! Think about all the times you could act out a scene from an anime! Later you mention that you also do dressups and he also does cosplay - althoughh he is very very shy about it. It might take some time for him to open up about that to you, but when he sees that you are so supportive / you so the same he will feel so stupid for not telling you sooner!! 

The two of you could probably dance along to some kpop or dances from his or your favourite anime! (in case that has any, but I think his does so)  

He also has very low self-esetem so he understands where you are coming from. I think the two of you could help the other with that, like when someone says something bad about themselves the other would correct it right away, giving an evidence about why that is not true at all. 

I think that way both of you could gain some down the road. Or even if that’s not much of a help, at least you know you can always count on the other and have their support.

Hmmmm I’m not sure if cats and Henry are a good combination..... in case you have a cat you’d have to be very careful about that 

If someone out of the brothers, then he definitely knows what it’s like to get lost in a game or series, so you could definitely ask for some pro-tips from him! 

Hm I’m not sure about him and learning languages besides Japanese, but if you learn that he will definitely join you and practice it with you! 

He is a demon you could be best friends with, dancing or singling along to songs the two of you likes/knows, gaming all night, ressing up with, etc! And let’s not forget the emotional connection you two have going on, as that is something very important in any kind of relationship! Because of social anxiety you have to make the first move on him somehow when you want to label yourselves as a couple instead of best friends. It might take some time to convince him about that but if you don’t rush it I’m sure he is going to appreciate it very much! 

[nautilusopus]

i'm SUPER SORRY to ask but could you elaborate on toxoplasma? it sounds really interesting!

My dude

Do NOT apologise for this

Now we get to have a very long conversation about three of my favourite topics: the nature of identity, parasitic mind control (which is a real-ass thing), and my all-time favourite parasite, Toxoplasma gondii.

Strap in, y’all, we’re gonna be here for a while. (And I guess a trigger warning for body horror, because these are parasites we’re talking about and it is me talking about them.)

Okay, so before we really dive into the parasite itself, let’s go over a brief parasite refresher so when I start throwing ideas around it makes a little more sense. 

The most common conception people have of parasites is that they’re basically germs-but-they’re-worms – you catch ‘em from other things that had the parasites in it and they’ll just hang out wherever. And while this is, on its face, true, the reality is a bit more complicated.

there are like no good picture of these things

These guys are Leucochloridium, more pronouncably-known as broodsacs, a genus of parasitic trematodes. The ones in the picture in particular are L. paradoxum, the green-banded broodsac. They, like myself, really super like birds! All sorts of birds! In fact, if they could they’d spend all their time inside a bird, because bird digestive systems are where it lives out most of its reproductive cycle, maturing, breeding, and eating the things the bird eats. The bird is its definitive host.

Unfortunately for the broodsac, birds also move things out of their digestive systems, most notably birdshit, which tends to have a lot of perfectly good worm eggs in it. Fortunately for the broodsac, guess what loves eating birdshit?

Finger-lickin’ good.

Snails, as it turns out. The snail is what we call an intermediate host: it is necessary for the propagation of the species, but really is more of a go-between than its target species. The parasite is now doing its parasite thing where it’s now inside something, but this isn’t really where it wants to be. It can’t really do much, and it doesn’t actually eat snail. The broodsac needs to get itself back into a bird somehow so it can complete its life cycle and lay more eggs, and do all the great things that come with being inside a bird’s digestive system in general. 

You should all be thanking me I take as many creative liberties as I do when writing about parasites in fiction.

Upon hatching, the worms force themselves into the snail’s eyestalks and pump them full of embryos, causing the eyestalks to swell and pulse, resembling a pair of delicious insect larva, good for a nice cozy bird to eat. The snail is further tempted by the parasite to move out into the open where it’s easily picked off by subconsciously influencing it to head towards light, where it’s promptly snapped up by a bird, and is back where it wants to be, inside its digestive system. There, it can mature, mate, have more eggs that get pooped out, and the cycle starts all over again. 

Intermediate hosts are a part of many parasitic life cycles – lancet liver flukes compelling ants to climb to the top of blades of grass so they’ll be eaten by cows is probably one of the more obvious examples. Parasites influencing behaviour subconsciously is common, too – hairworms and guinea worms compelling their hosts towards water, fig wasps and their behaviour-changing virus of the same name, and the infamous Cordyceps. 

So, now that we know how intermediate hosts work and the strings the parasites in them will pull to get back into whatever guts they want to be in, what does this have to do with T. gondii, the Best Protozoa?

Let’s preface this by saying two things before anyone starts worrying about catching it:

50% of the population has T. gondii eggs in their brains right now. I probably do, I certainly fit the profile (more on that later). I’m still kicking, you will be too. 

This is harmless because your immune system beats it into submission. You will only ever notice in two circumstances. A) you get HIV and your immune system stops working, making way for all sorts of opportunistic diseases. This is known as toxoplasmosis, where said eggs can actually hatch and start eating your brain. You’ve probably heard of this through the Martin Shkreli fiasco – the drug he was price gouging combated this. Your other option is B) if you’re pregnant. There’s a reason anyone pregnant is advised to stay away from litterboxes, and this is why, because YES at that stage it is absolutely airborne. While you might be able to shrug off the spores without so much as a cold, your unborn foetus with its developing immune system cannot. 

And now that I’ve brought up litterboxes, let’s talk about T. gondii’s definitive host, the housecat. 

A good girl!!! Harbinger of existential despair!!!!!! 

In a lot of ways, T. gondii acts pretty similar to broodsacs. It likes being in a cat, reproduces inside cats, lays eggs inside cats, is an all-around cat fan, and then in the tragedy to end all tragedies, is pissed out. Usually into a litterbox, and that’s no good. 

Enter the intermediate host, the rat. 

Normally in healthy rats, a rat smelling cat pee will realise that there is a cat in fact around and book it in the opposite direction. An infected rat, however, will become extremely curious about the source of said cat pee and boldly seek it out. The source of 99.9% of cat pee tends to be a cat. Which then eats them, because cat. The parasite is now back where it wants to be, the circle of life, hakuna matata or whatever.

Curiosity about cats killed the rat, or something like that. 

Rats aren’t the only thing around cats anymore that can be infected through airborne pee spores, though. What happens when the spores are inhaled by a human?

Here’s where things get a bit weird and speculative, because people are still arguing over whether or not this is correlation or causation or both or neither, so here goes. 

Humans are, for all intents and purposes, a dead end for T. gondii, and make for a really lousy intermediate host. Unless something really fucks up somewhere in your life, we generally don’t get eaten by cats. But that doesn’t mean we’re immune to the first part of T. gondii’s machinations; namely, subconsciously being drawn towards cats. Nearly everyone with the parasite likes cats, has a cat, et cetera. But there are other patterns, too. Infectees tend to be more socially outgoing, more prone to taking risks, and have very slightly slowed reflexes. Women tend to spend money more freely, and are less likely to keep consistently to a time schedule. Men tend to not care much for things like formal dress and keeping up appearances, and tend to be more aggressive and highly prone to things like anxiety. Infectees in general tend to have more partners, have less regard for their own safety, and be perceived as more outwardly charismatic. Bold, even. Curious. 

In case you hadn’t noticed, these are also all behaviours that tend to put you into contact with a large number of nice, infectable people, ripe for egg-laying real estate, or get your inside fluids on the outside, one way or another.

On the other hand, people that test negative for T. gondii overwhelmingly have dogs, and trend towards the opposite personality traits.

Here’s the kicker: Were these infected people cat people beforehand – hated following rules, related to animals that gave as little of a shit about that sort of thing as they did – got a cat, and then got infected? Or were they driven towards cats, have the personality traits that they do, because T. gondii wants them to? Which came first, the cat or the egg? 

Honestly, who even knows. People have talked in circles about it for ages, and maybe we’ll get an answer, maybe we won’t. But it’s something that I think about quite a bit. This thing is my favourite parasite for a reason. 

Is everything about you a product of one parasite or another, or are your parasites a product of who you are? Are you reckless and full of worms, or are you full of worms and therefore reckless? Do you even like your cat? Or do you like it because the things nestled in your brain want you to, driving you towards its definitive host, in the vain hope that maybe one day it’ll make it back in there?

i dunno, man

cat cute

[tulpacest]

Repost, don’t reblog.

Tagged by: @ahogedetective​ , thank you so much!

Tagging: @luminaryblood​ if u haven’t! And if u have... pls link me this is my fav kind of quiz. Otherwise!! Please steal! 

Name: K/orekiyo Shing.uuji. (Sorry but,,, I’m going to be talking about some uncomfy stuff and I’d really rather it not go in the tag riuguir). 

Nicknames: Sweet/Gentle Korekiyo, Kiyo, Korey (Hagakure why...), Shitguuji, ‘shit eating worm’, ‘slug’, ‘creep show’ (I love you Miu). 

Orientation: Pansexual Panromantic (No preference.) 

Preferred pet names: I think Korekiyo would find petnames to be interesting. I... actually like that he offers the name ‘Kiyo’ on first meeting, it creates a sense of immediate familiarity between himself and his peers - exactly what he wants as an anthropologist, after all. Additionally, it means ‘Korekiyo’ is a name reserved only for his Sister - which we’ll get into later. Obviously, he doesn’t particularly like being compared to an insect or dung, and would prefer only beautiful things be associated with him. 

Relationship status: He’s currently in a fully committed romantic relationship with his own tulpa. He truly believes that his dead Sister’s spirit rests inside of him and they are continuing the loving partnership they had in life - but she does not. This is a coping mechanism born out  of impossible grief, and he does have brief moments of self-awareness. In those moments, the world feels sterile and empty. This is his reality.   

Favorite canon ship:  H E  I S  T H E  C A N O N  S H I P.   In all seriousness, I do find the relationship he has with the tulpa to be incredibly fascinating, fucked up and inherently unhealthy. The tulpa is simultaneously the only thing keeping him alive, and simultaneously destroying any development he could possibly have. He cannot overcome grief without it, he cannot overcome grief with it.  And if he just didn’t ... you know... kill people because of it, I feel that the tulpa perfectly embodies the theme of the game. A lie can sometimes be good, can sometimes even save lives - and that is what his coping mechanism is -  simply an incredibly well-fabricated lie. He’s such a fascinating and... oddly tragic character because of it. 

Favorite non-canon ships: I really like Korekiyo/Rantaro! Their interactions in the board game were incredibly sweet... Korekiyo is actually concerned with his health! He asks after him! They visit each other inbetween trips! K O R E K I Y O  H A S  A  F R I E N D ??? And I know you could read that he’s just getting close to him in order to kill his sisters... but? He was doing all of those things before he even knew Amami had sisters! 

I really... really feel like Amami is one of the very few people who would have the patience and the kindness to help Korekiyo work through the whole tulpacest situation. I... Idk, I just have this really profound image of Kiyo finally asking Rantaro if he wants to meet his Sister, and Amami is hesitant at first - like, he knows by now that... something weird is going on, but it’s okay, he trusts his friend enough to see where this is going...  And then Kiyo takes the mask down, and Amami’s heart just. Breaks as Sister says ‘hello’ to him, her lip trembling - and he finally clicks it all together and he understands. And then he rushes forwards and just wraps her in the tightest embrace, and her eyes immediately turn to glass and she just sobs because this is the first time he’s been hugged properly in years, and suddenly all that time spent hugging himself is... not enough. Bluuhhh and that’s my sickly-sweet power fantasy, eventually Amami helps Korekiyo get over the tulpa and accept death (or he supports his friend’s coping mechanism and they enter into a more complicated relationship) - either way, GOD. That’s the healthiest Kiyo ship I can think of and I Am Here For It. 

A quick note on shipping: Korekiyo is really... really difficult to ship. He firmly believes his one true love is inside of him, and he has sacrificed everything to fulfil that delusion. Unpicking it would be a long and hard process, and cheating on her is not going to be an option unless it’s like. a very very very clear one-time affair. Even then, he’s... unlikely to get completely physical with you - and falling in love is simply not an option........ at least, not right away. Any shipping I did with Kiyo would have to be delicately paced and involve a lot of plotting/threading. 

Opinion on true love: He firmly believes in it, and it is one of the only matters (asides from death) where he will suddenly start acting illogical. Anything concerning love makes him highly emotional, but he would also expose that ‘real’ love is not a physical connection, it is something that is worked on and reshaped and kneaded over time. He is extremely romantic,  to say the least, and believes that you should do anything for the one you love. 

Opinion on love at first sight: Although this is something ever present in folklore, fiction and fantasy - he believes that love takes more than a mere moment. It’s something that requires tending to - even if it begins like a hot-flash in the pan. 

How ‘romantic’ are they: Very.... Korekiyo’s appearance may imply anything but, but he is a highly romantic person. He enjoys affection, soft touches, hugs, being squeezed, giving gifts, huge gestures, romcoms, holding hands, dates... I could go on. He adores the saccharine and can be incredibly gentle when it comes to matters of love.  

Ideal physical traits: Korekiyo would struggle with this question - after all, his pet theory is that all humanity is beautiful. Beauty is alluring, and beauty is born from the soul - less so the body. However... He has an aesthetic appreciation for features similar to his own - archaic beauty, ink-brush strokes for hair, well-kept and slender. But! Tbh, radiant love overcomes any physical imperfections, his tastes bent to his heart’s desires. 

Ideal personality traits: He is particularly drawn to bright, effervescent people. Those who possess a deep, unending curiosity - who possess wit and good humour, intelligence and grace. There are many traits that he admires - just as there are many roles in this great kabuki play of life. However, above all else... A thirst for life. If your character displays a drive to survive against all odds, a ‘fuck you’ attitude to death - then his heart sings. Bravery in the face of impossible odds, an unwavering heart, hope blossoming amongst  the tangled thorns of despair... cliche, yes, but traits he finds incredibly attractive.  Additionally, he really enjoys being approached by someone else. His love hotel scene begins with Saihara taking an interest in him, after all. 

Unattractive physical traits: Hmm, again... there really aren’t many. 

Unattractive personality traits: He is not fond of people who are loud-mouthed and quick to interrupt him. He really dislikes those who shut down intelligent conversation, or think of him as boring, or refuse to pay attention. He hates promises being broken, and he will blame himself for being a poor teacher if someone shows even the slightest disinterest in what he has to say.  He also dislikes those he cannot pin down easily. If he cannot assign you a role and you baffle him with layers of inconsistencies/lies, he’s... going to lose interest, fast. If, however, he can pick up some threads of your puzzle - he’ll have... so much fun deciphering you that he’ll get lose in it.  Overall, it can be difficult to predict what traits Korekiyo is going to find unattractive since he is forever fishing for your beauty... 

Ideal date: Travelling, discussing anthropology, consuming media and analysing it afterwards... but more romantic moments are appreciated, too. If it’s an activity that allows him to revel in your beauty... he’s down, lmao. 

Do they have a type? Immensely passionate, confident & bright people!  

Average relationship length: Forever...

Preferred nonsexual intimacy: Being held/holding. I mean. The boy literally hugs himself bc no one else will... he’s honestly so desperate for this kind of physical affection that it breaks my heart on some level. Please.. someone... anyone.... hug him,,,,  Outside of this, while sexual intimacy can be incredibly loving and important in a relationship, I think he values nonsexual intimacy more. I know! This sounds! Really weird! Coming from! The self-declared rope man! But! He constantly reiterates that love does not have to be ‘a physical connection’. So... honestly - beyond cuddling, his favourite thing to do to express intimacy is probably  just to talk. Talk and talk and talk. Enjoy doing things together, be in one another’s company, revel in the beautiful connection between you both  - the real meat of a relationship, you know? 

Commitment level: He’ll literally destroy himself and give up his flesh in order to let you inhabit his body if u go and die on him. And although he indulges his curiosity  in the love hotel scene... we have to remember that that is his fantasy. In the dating sim mode, he repeatedly shies away from sexual topics/intimacy (though he expresses they are normal human behaviours and he respects/is intrigued by Saihara because of them), because it would be ‘cheating’. Then again, he does claim that he tied up a whole village of women, so....

The thing is, Korekiyo’s. Well. What counts as ‘cheating’ might be a little fluid - can he indulge in Kinbaku because he’s doing it for ‘anthropological’ reasons? How far does that card stretch? He seemed to be aware that he actions with Saihara were dodgy given how much he emphasised it was a one-time affair... so, idk. GENERALLY THO I’d argue he is more committed than most, lmao. 

Opinion of public affection: He wants it, but it makes him incredibly uncomfortable. Like. Ideally he could be physical with his partner near constantly - but he’s learned that matters of love are best kept private, and with good reason. 

Past relationships: My personal headcanon is that his Sister is around a year & a half older than him, and they have been engaging in taboo acts since he was around 13. It’s... highly uncomfortable to think about, but. Yeah, so. Considering he still thinks he is in this relationship, they’ve been ‘together’ for 4-5 years. 

[beckettsthoughts]

i looove all of the botanical asks so id really appreciate if youd answer all of them!! (or all of them that you like)

This is amazing thank you so much! Anon you are wonderful

Baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself with:

Crows, strong friendships, sunglasses, shortwave radios, and laughter.

Bleeding heart: What makes you heart go mushy?

@skyward-sheik, in all honesty. All of my friends have the unique ability to melt me into a puddle of warmth and happiness, but Sheik of course holds the true key to my heart.

Bell flower: What’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?

The Last Of The Real Ones, by Fall Out Boy

Evening primrose: What’s your sleeping playlist (Give me 5 songs)?

You know what, I’m honestly just going to give you my whole sleep playlist:

Paris, by The 1975

Those Days Are Gone & My Heart Is Breaking, by Barton Carroll

Fools Rush In, by Eliza Rickman

Stage 4 Fear of Trying, by Frnkiero And The Cellabration

Drugstore Perfume, by Gerard Way

Monkey 23, by The Kills

Rut, by The Killers

I Lied, by Electric Century

Mad Sounds, by the Artic Monkeys

Everyday, by Puggy

Sober, by Broods

Weird Honey, by Elvis Depressedly

Golden Age, by KT Tunstall

New World Towers, by Blur

Coming Down, by Halsey

Time Spent In Los Angeles, by Dawes

Killing You, by Broods

N.M.S.S, by Elvis Depressedly

Busted and Blue, by Gorillaz

Hiding Tonight, by Alex Turner

Barcelona, by George Ezra

Mad at Nothing, by Patrick Stump

Daffodil: What is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

Oh god, I’d love to have so many. More than anything, though, I’d love to have a garden big enough to have a willow tree. If I had that, I would be so incredibly, serenely happy.

Calla lily: Are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening person?

Here, I’m a sunny day person. I don’t like leaving my flat in the rain, because it’s so hard to get back up the hill when it’s damp. I don’t like the sun so much, but I do appreciate the warmth it brings when I’m walking out and about. At home, though, I adore the rain and I love to spend stormy evenings sitting out in the conservatory so I can hear it against the roof.

Lavender: What is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?

I’ve always said that in another life I’d want to be a famous singer. I made my peace with that goal a long, long time ago though. In another sense, I’d love for so many things to be different about my body. I want skinnier hips, I want nicer skin, I want a flatter chest, I want a better voice, I want a stronger heart. None of these things are changeable, but they do still haunt me. It’s hard to think about, and most days I can ignore each of them. Some days I don’t want to leave my flat because of it, but I’m trying my best to make peace with these issues as well.

Love in a mist: What is the latest dream that you remember?

Oh, not very recent. I very rarely remember my dreams, and it’s only ever the frightening ones that I can recall. The most recent, then, was actually a strange dream I had back in June. The fourteenth, to be precise. It was the day of the Grenfell Tower fire, the day of my A Level sociology exam, and I fell asleep early in the morning in my mother’s room with the news playing on the television. I won’t go into too much detail because it’s hard to explain and it’s nonsensical in that subconscious way dreams are, my brain making shortcuts and connections that shouldn’t be there. I was in a strange holiday apartment in a row of terraced white buildings, each having different colours accents and trims on the wall. My family disappeared, I couldn’t contact them, and I went to my friend in the next cottage only to find him, his mother and two foreign strangers who were clearly in distress. We tried to comfort them, spent hours with them, and slowly they calmed. My heart absolutely wrenched for them, these two strangers. I think they’d lost their families, they were running from some awful disaster, and the terror of the situation hung heavy in the air. My friend’s mother had left a while back, and then he had left as well, leaving me alone with them. Eventually, they left too. I stayed, watching the disaster on the news, until I noticed some strangers in official-looking suits inspecting each house. They were unfamiliar, detached, inherently alarming. I quickly pulled the blinds. I stayed there, in my friend’s holiday apartment, for almost two more hours. In the end, I braved the strange officials and headed outside, only to find the families of other residents, almost entirely my friends and their relatives, gathered outside and staring at this great, dark, thundering cloud that was fast descending towards us.

That’s when I woke up. I’ll be happy if I don’t remember another dream for a long, long time.

Daisy: What is your favourite flavour of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?

My favourite flavour of ice is chocolate, although I also love caramel ice cream. My favourite type of juice is apple juice, I don’t have a strong preference between pressed or concentrate. Actually, one unpopular opinion I seem to have is that I genuinely hate orange juice? Like, I honestly can’t stand it. This tends to surprise people, for some reason.

And my favourite flavour of candy floss, is well, candy floss? I didn’t know it came in other flavours.

Painter’s palette: Are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist?

Singer, for sure.

That said, I’ve tried at my hand at all of those practises throughout my life. I took dance classes several times a week from the age of three, in ballet and tap primarily but there were times when I took modern and street dance as well. Tap was my favourite by far. I quit ballet when I was about eleven, but I didn’t quit tap until I was about fourteen. In terms of painting, I took art GCSE. While painting is by far one of my least favourite art media, naturally I’ve painted quite a lot over the years. Sometimes I even enjoy it, but only if I’m working with acrylics. And in terms of being an instrumentalist, it’s undeniable that I am, by definition, one of them. I play violin, have done since the age of seven, and I also play the ukulele and marching bell. However, I am not a very good instrumentalist, hence why I chose singer. Singing is my most natural talent out of all of these, and it’s the one I enjoy the most.

Waxflower: Are you a bee or a butterfly person? A dog or a cat person?

I am a butterfly person, I used to have a strong fear of any insect that could sting me. These days I try and accept bees for their hard-working selves, but nobody could ever make me like wasps.

And, uh, I’m definitely a dog person. Even though I used to be scared of both dogs and cats, dogs win out on the basis that I’m not allergic to them. You know what, I’d love to have a borzoi some day. If I wasn’t allergic to cats I’d get an oriental shorthair, though. If you were wondering why I’m no longer scared of dogs, the answer to that question is Maya. She’s an adorable, tiny border collie cross who belongs to my amazing partner @skyward-sheik. She’s too cute to be afraid of, so I got over that fear pretty quickly after I started spending more time at his house.

Sugarbush: Do you have sweet tooth? If yes, what’s your favourite sweets? if no, why?

Uh, yeah, you could say. I’m kind of a dessert fiend.

Right now my favourite sweets are M&Ms, but Maynard’s Wine Gums, Rowntree’s Fruit Pastilles, Cadbury’s Eclairs and Barratt’s Dolly Mixture.

Sunflower: Would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?

I’d give my heart to be a sweet little woodland pouque.

Sweet pea: What would you like to call your significant other?

Well, that’s actually a really interesting question. I haven’t talked with him about specific terminology in this regard. He’s my queerplatonic partner, which is actually really difficult to explain in shorthand, but ‘partner’ is the best abbreviation I can find. Obviously QPP works, but that acronym isn’t exactly widely known. 

Sea lavender: Can you swim? Which strokes can you do?

I can indeed swim! I grew up on an island and a mere two minute’s walk from the beach, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d learnt to doggy paddle before I could steadily walk. I took swimming lessons throughout my early childhood, too, both in school and extracurricular. Somewhere in a box at home is a whole pile of badges for achieving my 10m, 50m, 100m, 200m, 500m, etc. I enjoy swimming front crawl the most, and though I dislike them I can also swim backstroke, breaststroke and butterfly.

I don’t get the chance to swim much anymore, though. The sea, though beneficial in the long run, is too painful for my skin to justify that minimal long-term improvement. Most chlorinated pools, while less painful in the moment, leave my skin flared, red and raised for several days after using them. There’s one leisure centre at home I can use without suffering too much ill-effect but I haven’t been there to swim in well over five years. Maybe sometime over the summer I’ll go there with my friends.

Windflower: List 5 of your favourite blogs and explain why you like them

@skyward-sheik, of course. He’s my favourite person, so of course his is my favourite blog. He reblogs a lot of cute and funny posts about video games and other things he likes, which of course makes me really happy. He also reblogs quite a lot about mental health and neurodivergence, and given you follow me you’re probably into that too.

@shark-myths, my queer writer icon, campaigner for the power of LGBT+ friendships and girls’ solidarity. Fellow Fall Out Boy deep lore analyst and encourager in the realms of both lifestyle and arts, K’s is a blog I would highly recommend. K as a person I would highly recommend, actually, and those qualities clearly translate across social media.

@honoraryplantking is a mutual of mine and a blog I love to scroll through. He’s an absolute sweetie and we have a lot of common interests between us. His blog is just a nice and positive place to be, so if you’re ever in need of a pick-me-up I’d recommend checking him out.

@strangerdarkerbetter is a fantastic neurodivergence and chronic illness activist and general person of good will. I first found Sabrina’s blog back when I was first diagnosed as autistic and they’ve been an awesome mutual and point of reference for me ever since.

I actually can’t think of a fifth that really stands out to me. Many of the blogs I check a lot are mutuals of mine, which I like because I find them relatable, I have a similar sense of humour and I like them as people. Other than those, of which there are quite a few, there’s nobody else off the top of my head who stands out as an absolute favourite.

Golden rod: Are you more of a baker or a cook?

Definitely a baker. I’m a really awful cook, executive dysfunction absolutely wrecks me as soon as I’m placed in a kitchen with nothing more than a vague recipe, but I have a lot more experience with baking and while I’m still bad at it, I can at least make a passable cake. I also way prefer desserts to making savoury meals, so that totally works in my favour.

Bloom: What is something that you would like to tell your children?

While I feel the need to clarify that I don’t actually want children, I’d probably tell them about my friends, how I met them and became close to them and how they impacted my life and wellbeing. I just think that, for a kid, it’s important to know that the friends you make in school might not be your forever friends, might not be close enough to consider family. You might be seventeen, twenty-five, you might be thirty or forty before you find them. They’re out there, I promise.

Peony: What is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you?

Honestly, I wish I’d been told more about my family. I grew up knowing nothing about an entire half of my family. I didn’t know a damn thing about my paternal family until I was about twelve or thirteen, and even now I know hardly anything about them. Not that I don’t appreciate my family’s reasons from hiding this from me, whatever they may be, but it’s hard not to feel like I was cheated out of a potentially huge part of my life and heritage. It was nothing out of the ordinary to have divorced parents, and many of my friends growing up lived in single parent families, but I was always the kid who had never even met my dad, had barely even heard his name. I didn’t even know my parents were married until I found the wedding album. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know why my paternal family was effectively kept a secret from me all this time, I don’t know why I was deprived of the chance to know a whole half of my family, not just my father but my grandparents, my half-siblings, my aunts and uncles and cousins. 

Sorry, I actually got really emotional right then. This is one of the few topics that can always bring me to tears and I can’t lie and say I’m not bitter about it. Even to know that they existed would have been better than growing up with no knowledge at all. I’m sorry, I really don’t think I can talk about this any more. 

Prairie gentian: Do you have a significant other?

I do! The ever-wonderful @skyward-sheik is my queerplatonic partner and soulmate. It’s only sixteen days until I get to go home and see him again

September flower: Are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?

Sunset. Growing up on the west coast of a small island meant I’ve always been able to appreciate beautiful ocean sunsets, and I wouldn’t trade those sights for all the tea in China.

Bird of paradise: Do you wake up early? Do you sleep early?

No, I’m pretty awful at both. I have a sleep disorder, Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, which goes a long way to explaining why I have this problem. I actually sleep for a perfectly normal amount of time if left to my own devices, but my circadian rhythm is just a few hours off what is considered ‘normal’. I naturally fall asleep at about two in the morning, and no medications or lifestyle techniques I’ve tried have ever been able to fix this. Once I learnt more about it my family and I have learnt to work with it rather than against it, and thankfully my new university schedule really helps. I only have to wake up early one day out of the week in this current semester, which has meant that I’ve been properly rested and functioning for the first time in my life. When I was a toddler I had split sleeping and then I’ve been in school ever since with an nine o’clock start, so you can imagine how exhausted I was a lot of the time. Being able to sleep properly has been a revelation.

Marigold: What’s your favourite tea?

I don’t drink hot tea, but I tried iced tea for the first time last week and it was really nice! I went with my friends to a comic book-themed pie cafe called Piecaramba because one of my friends said they did really good iced tea. I took her up on her recommendation and ordered a glass of peach iced tea. I’m really anxious about trying new food and drinks so I was nervous, but it ended up being really nice. So I guess peach iced tea is my favourite type of tea, now.

Peruvian lily: What are the names of your pets?

As much as I would love them, I don’t actually have any pets. Though she passed away earlier, I had a beautiful little canary named Abi for a good eight years. I was already in a really rough spot at the time and losing my sweet little songbird made everything so much harder, not to mention an old bully of mine was mocking me about it online later that day. I think that might have been the same day I decided to start a new blog to get away from him, actually, because that really was the last straw. I don’t know what I would name any future pets and I certainly won’t be getting any in the near future, but I would love another pet someday.

Hyacinth: Do you name your plants?

I do! In fact, I have a whole page detailing my plant collection and their names, where applicable.

Lilac: Would you rather sleep and be cosy or hang out with your friends?

Can I not sleep and be cosy in the company of my friends? I think we both know that that’s the superior answer here.

Poppy: Do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?

Dry fries are kind of disgusting, so I always dip them in ketchup. 

Fun fact: a good friend of mine developed a habit in his teens of mixing together mayonnaise and tomato ketchup to create a kind of makeshift, poor man’s Marie Rose sauce so that he could dip his chips in it. That boy is either a genius or a madman.

Dandelion: Any special talent that you have?

I guess some of hobbies count, and my writing? People say I have a natural talent for writing, which I really appreciate. Those kind of comments are a wonder for my self-esteem.

[elexuscal]

Fusion, Freedom, Reinvention

Relationships: Ruby/Sapphire Summary: They met under the stars, and that was the start of everything-- stealing glances, strolling through the forest, kissing under the moonlight. Theirs is a fairy tale romance-- of magic and glamour, of debts and blood, of love and sacrifice.

(Part of the SU Fae AU, The Crystal Court)

They first met at mid-autumn, a time of truce for their two Courts.

Under the full moon, the Sovereigns of Summer and the Witnesses of Winter met in a stone circle upon the moors. Space was malleable there, and time too; those who passed the rocks found themselves in a field which seemed to stretch for infinity, its ground carpeted in crisp fallen leaves, the night air lit by the glow of will-o-the-wisps.

Ruby was a soldier, her skin like embers, her hair flames.

Sapphire was a seer, her skin frosted, her single eye a crystal of ice.

Fae are not clumsy. They are elegant by nature, light on their feet, as insubstantial as air.

Somehow, though, Ruby collided with Sapphire.

There was a hush.

A silence which was not just the absence of sound, but a complete vacuum of it.

Sapphire stared down at herself, at where some of her skin had melted and boiled away.

“My apologies,” Ruby stammered, through fear and half-frozen lips.

“It was determined,” Sapphire said, and waved it off. Already, the frost was creeping back up her skin.

The vacuum filled in, as all at once the Gentry continued on with their business. The soldier and the seer watched each other for one more moment, and then they too, carried on.

Fae do not say thank you. Those words are too shallow a thing-- just a trinket, a distraction behind which to hide.

Nonetheless, Ruby was grateful. Sapphire could have had her executed with a word. Instead, she had spared her.

There was a debt there, and debts have to be repaid.

--

They met again at the next truce, at mid-spring. Again it was held at the same rock circle upon the moors. Now the ground beneath their feet had sprung fresh new grass, and the air thrummed with the call of cicadas.

Someone had brought human musicians for entertainment. With the insect buzz as the beat, their flute and fiddle wove a tune that captivated the Fair Folk, and set them all to dancing. The Fae spun across the grass, exchanging partners as they went. There was a pattern, but one too subtle and too complex to be determined by mortal eyes, all politics and power, pulling at the dancers as the moon pulled at the tides.

Ruby sought Sapphire out. A single dance was not worth the price of a life, but it would at least begin to settle the score.

“Would you like a dance?” Ruby asked, bowing deep.

Sapphire considered for a moment, the curtsied in return. “I would.”

They orbited each other, careful not to touch. Still, they could feel one another, the burn, the chill.

The music got faster, and the dancing sped to match.

It was dizzying, and delightful, but despite it all, Ruby found herself still catching glimpses of the human musicians. Her eyes felt pulled towards them. They were in a sorry state. The fiddle player’s fingers were raw, the blood dripping down his bow onto the new earth below. He was the luckier of the two. The woodwind player’s flute had grown into her skin; already her face was covered in bark, leaves sprouting where her eyes should have been. It should have been amusing, and yet…

Ruby only just bit back a wince.

Sapphire saw the sympathy on her face. Knew the trouble that would be inflicted upon her, if another member of the Courts saw that sympathy.

“Look at me,” Sapphire said, and pulled Ruby’s gaze to her. “Keep your eyes on me.”

So Ruby did. She was an easier thing to look at, anyway. Sapphire was as beautiful as the freshly fallen snow.

And for her part, Sapphire felt herself drawn towards Ruby like a moth to the flame.

--

And so it went, through the seasons, the years, the decades. Each autumn and spring, the Courts of Summer and Winter would come to a truce, and Ruby and Sapphire would seek each other out.

If there was a chance, they would dance.

In time, even that was not enough.

They found other ways to meet, away from other Fae eyes. Sapphire would See into the future, found the times she would not be missed. Ruby would wait until her betters were occupied, by the Hunt or other such proceedings, and sneak away.

They’d meet in forested groves; at the edges of oceans; on mountain peaks.  

They learned to weave better glamours, ones which better hid their natures. That dampened Ruby’s flames, and thawed Sapphire’s ice. It allowed them to pass through the world unimpeded, helped keep them hidden from watchful eyes. It let them grow closer, too. Disguised, the two could bare each other’s touch for at least a few moments.

Unbound by Court politics, Court ceremony, Court hierarchy, they could speak freely. They discussed whatever topics crossed their minds, like clouds drifting through the sky. Their lives. The seasons. Animals. Humans.

They were fascinated by humans, as all Fae were. They could not stop themselves from visiting human townships, any more than water could stop itself from rolling down hills.

They had to be careful. Humans were wary of the Fair Folk-- and they were right to be wary, both of them thought. They kept their towns well warded. Even in human guise, the pair were careful to avoid iron, and hazel, and rowan, and bread, and the ringing of bells at twilight.

They were careful, too, not to let their natures overwhelm themselves. To not have Ruby’s sparks go wild, and leave a barn burned down. To not have Sapphire’s frost encroach, and leave the crops dead in their fields.

At first, it was merely practical. The Courts would not care about such destruction-- they’d revel in it, in fact-- but they would care about the nature of the perpetrators, if they caught wind. A lowly, untitled foot-soldier and a high seer?  That was scandalous enough, though not unheard of. But to take a lover from an opposing court? Treason. It would never be tolerated, more than reason for anyone, fae or mortal, to extract a very high price indeed for the keeping of such a secret

Then, it was indulgent. Humans were curious creatures, delightful to watch. Ruby liked to see their children playing in the streets, shrieking and laughing with unbridled delight. Sapphire liked to watch the women weaving, creating cloth from wool, like a conjuring. Both of them loved human songs, and sought out any chance to hear them.

Then, it was indulgent. The humans had their own lives, their own personal concerns, their own private dramas. They were intriguing despite how small, blind and feeble they were-- or perhaps because of that. They were like characters in a play. The farmer’s wife, her belly swelling with child. The widowed midwife who tended to her. The carpenter’s apprentice. The barman. The tailor. The goatherd.

Some of the humans left gifts for the Fair Folk-- offerings of milk, butter, and food. These were not the treats of fae, not sparkling wine made from starlight, not pastries spun from rainbows, not the sweet fruits that grew from the trees of the other worlds. They were mortal meals, made of meat, and of fat, and of grain, and they filled the Fae up as nothing had before.

They left gifts for the humans, in exchange. A charm on a wine cellar, to keep it cool, even in the height of summer. A spell on a hearth to keep it hot, even in the depths of winter. And together, a casting of their very own, to keep the blight at bay.

--

Sapphire and Ruby spied uponafter all of the humans, but their favourites were most certainly the young lovers.

They followed the lovers, hiding from them using charms of invisibility, or else disguising themselves as birds, or frogs, or hounds. Followed them through the town square; flew above them as they wandered the fields; watched them at night from the windows. Saw the tender ways they touched one another. The gifts they exchanged freely, without any expectation of returns. The compliments they whispered in each others ears. Sweet nothings, the humans called them. Oaths and promises which were not binding, spoken only for delight.

Ruby and Sapphire wished they could do the same.

--

Centuries and centuries, these meetings had been going, when the words were spoken.

“I love you,” Ruby pledged.

“I love you too,” Sapphire returned.

And then they cried into each other’s arms, because The Fair Folk cannot lie, so they knew these words were true.

--

They were discovered soon after.

They did not know how. Perhaps some sprite had spied them, and reported it to gain favour. Perhaps their glamour had failed at a key moment. Perhaps the Court had stolen some human from the village, who’d let something slip. Perhaps one of the Queens had simply felt the magical imprint the pair had left behind in their wanderings.

All they knew was that when the next Spring Truce came, there was no feasting, no songs, no dancing.

The two were dragged to the centre of the Stone Circle, the Gentry of both Courts gathered around, cheering, shouting, jeering, taunting.

“Traitors!” they cried.

“Spies!” they yelled.

“Defilers!” they hooted.

“Silence!” ordered two voices, one crackling with heat and the other with cold.

The Queens appeared before their Courts.  

They sat in their thrones. Summer’s was made of brambles that shone like burnished gold. The ripest of berries hung among the thorns. Winter’s was carved from ice, and beneath the surface one could see indistinct shapes moving.

Already thrown to the ground, Ruby and Sapphire bowed to their lieges.

“What have you done?” Summer demanded.

Ruby explained.

Neither Queen understood.

“Why did you do this?” Winter demanded.

Sapphire explained.

Neither Queen understood.

The last question the Queen’s asked in unison: “Will you renounce one another?”

Ruby and Sapphire locked eyes. The Fair Folk cannot lie.

Together, they answered: “No.”

Still neither Queen understood.

And so they could not allow it to stand at all.

“Warrior Who Charges Headfirst Into The Blizzard,” said Summer, “get to your feet.”

Bound by her True Name, Ruby stood.

“Seeker and Keeper of the Spark of Truth,” said Winter, “rise.”

Bound by her True Name, Sapphire stood.

The Queens had created them, and so knew their true natures, their True Names. Those Names wielded power, and when spoken, direct demands could not be denied.

And the Queens demanded that that night, when the moon was at its peak, that Ruby must kill Sapphire, and that Sapphire must kill Ruby. And all would see what was to become of those that betrayed the intended order.

--

The sun was setting.

Ruby and Sapphire were not placed in cages, were not locked away. They was no way to escape, ringed as they were by Courtesans on all sides. They were allowed to stay together. To share in the agony until it reached the inevitable time when they would be forced to end each other.

“There must be some way,” Ruby said, her voice a fierce, desperate whisper.

“There is none,” Sapphire said, resigned. She could See the future in front of her, solid as ice. There were three possibilities. Sapphire could kill Ruby. Ruby could kill Sapphire. Or both would kill each other at the same time.

Ruby cried, her tears boiling.

Sapphire cried, her tears freezing.

Those Kindly Ones around them laughed.

--

“There has to be something,” Ruby said, as the sky turned purple, and the moon began to rise.

Sapphire shook her head. “We cannot deny our Names.”

Ruby stared down at her hands, shaking.

Then the answer came to her.

She looked up, met Sapphire’s eye, and said, “What if they were not our Names?’

--

The moon climbed higher and higher in the sky, the time drawing closer.

It was not a dark moon. It was not a new moon, a single crescent of silver. Nor was it a full. It was in the most powerful phase of all.

Half dark, half light.

The Queens returned, and the Fae encircling the two lovers drawing nearer. Their smiles were as sharp as knives, and their eyes glinted like wildcats’, ten times as cruel.

The lovers stood up.

None of the onlookers spoke, waiting to see what would happen.

Sapphire held out her hands, and Ruby took them.  

There was no glamour here, no magic concealing their true natures, dampening them. The heat burned through Sapphire’s skin, melting it. Instantly it boiled away, and Sapphire could all but stop herself from crying out in pain. Ruby too was rocked, as Sapphire’s fingers grew into long icicles, bursting through her gloves and piercing into Ruby’s flesh, embedding themselves there. She struggled to stay on her feet, as though buffeted by a winter wind.

Through the pain, they spoke.

“Seeker and Keeper of the Spark of Truth,” said Warrior Who Charges Headfirst Into The Blizzard, “I pledge myself to you, wholly and completely. I give you my power, to use however you wish.”

“Warrior Who Charges Headfirst Into The Blizzard,” said Seeker and Keeper of the Spark of Truth, “I pledge myself to you as well, wholly and completely. I give to you my power, to use however you wish.”

The Gentry were screaming now, crying with voices that howled like wolves, but all the lovers could hear were each other’s voices. All they could see was each other’s faces. They pressed themselves close, feeling their skin freeze and boil and melt, and the pain was exquisite.

The next part, they spoke unison: “Let me change you, and in doing so, be changed myself. For now and forever.”

Lightning flashed.

--

The Faerie that stood there was something entirely new.

Her legs were too long, her fists too large, her hips too wide, her waist too small. Her chill had been softened by spring; her heat tempered by autumn. She glowed, lightning racing up and down her body, and so none could touch her, unless she permitted it. She had three eyes, and with them, she saw the Kindly Ones around her for what they truly were.

Most Fae turned their eyes away, unable to bear the sight.

The Queens of Summer and Winter cried out to the new one. Ordered the new one to stop. To halt. To destroy themselves-- herself-- there and then.

But the Names they called out were not hers. Not anymore. And she would not be bound by them.

So The One Who Forged Herself Of Love ran from the Courts, and did not look back.

[riverflowsthroughit]

Author/Firefighter/Pilot, San Francisco - WOWWOMAN.COM

Aren't podcasts great? A voice, and a set of ideas were all I needed to get inspired and carry out bunch of research about the speaker - Caroline Paul. She was discussing her latest book Gutsy Girl, and it rang so true to me, that I was inspired to contact her and learn more. After months of trying to nail down common time, we met in a pub around Haight-Ashbury intersection in San Francisco, took some photos, unnerved hippies with our photo clicking and left knowing that we both participate in some crazy sports and share many other commonalities. Success in my books. It was hard to pin point the title for this post, because Caroline is more than an author, she is an adventurer, and not just adventurer, but think-outside-the-box adventurer. If you ever meet her, ask her to tell you a story involving the San Francisco bay, 4th of July and a kayak. Without further ado. 1. Name. Caroline Paul 2. Where is your hometown? San Francisco 3. What is your profession/career/title/self- label/designation? Writer/retired firefighter 4. What was the journey like to get where you are (career wise)? When was the mental shift to start the journey? (path through navigating all sorts of "male dominated" sports/careers and how you viewed it at the time and how you see it all having perspective, years later. Was it worth it, did it feel like it was "so out of the ordinary?" etc.) There were mental shifts each time I entered a new career, which I have done twice. When I became a firefighter, I was not expecting any seismic changes in my perspective. I had lived a life of pretty grand adventure and joining the San Francisco Fire department seemed an extension of that. I thought Sirens! Adrenaline! Big Fires! Of course, the job was so much more than that, and tested me in emotional ways I had not expected. The courage and integrity needed when doing CPR on a baby or giving oxygen to an elderly man who really just wanted some human contact, or treating the same heroin addict for an overdose for the third time that shift, or pulling dead kids from a crashed car – these far exceeded what it took to run into a fire, for me. It also took me by surprise how difficult it was to assimilate into a culture that was fundamentally male. I had many male friends, and I’d also been a pilot, a whitewater raft guide, and a paraglider and in these milieus I was more often than not one of the few females. But all that was a game compared to the firehouse, where the pressure was really on all the time to prove that I was strong and brave enough to be there. And in some ways it was a fruitless battle, because the sentiment against women ran so deep. It wasn’t unfounded – the job of firefighter is physically difficult – you carry a hundred pounds of equipment on you if you include the coats and boots and axes and airpacks, and THEN you have to work. And remember that Title 9, the law that guaranteed girls equal access to sports, had been only been ratified in 1972. So my generation was the first with a background in physical activity and so the first to embrace a culture of strength, teamwork, and courage. So women didn’t have a deep bench when it came to strong, adventurous women. As a result, I didn’t blame the men for their doubts, but the fact was that there were some of us that were very qualified and came to be trusted parts of a team. Being under such pressure for 14 years was no picnic though – you felt any mistake would reflect on all your fellow female firefighters. There was a flip side; I am very grateful for really understanding on a visceral level what it is to be excluded, what it is to be in the minority and what it is to face deep prejudice. Before that I was a pretty dumb white girl, blind to her own privilege, and all that she had not earned. I do want to say there were many very honorable men who were decent to me whether or not they actually thought I should be there. There were also men who were fine with women on the job, though they did seem to be in the minority. And ultimately I just loved the job – I searched for bodies in the bay on the SCUBA rescue team, I faced huge, raging fires, I birthed babies. Who can say that? 5. Biggest accomplishment since making the (physical/mental) move? After retiring I became a writer and I would say that publishing four books big New York publishers has been a big accomplishment. 6. What was biggest disappointment and plan to overcome it? I published two books without much difficulty. And then I wrote two novels, and two proposals and nothing would sell. Five years of my life! I was devastated and almost gave up writing. But then I wrote Lost Cat, A True Story of Love, Desperation, and GPS Technology, which did ultimately see the light of day. So I dug myself out of that dark hole, through persistence, a little skill, and a lot of luck. There was a small, dark place in my heart that wanted to send Lost Cat reviews and sales numbers to the editors and agents who had rejected that and all my other manuscripts. But the truth is that the writing of each one, rejected or not, made me better at my craft, so nothing was really a waste, nor perhaps should the rejected manuscripts have been loosed on the world. 7. Advice for other women? Persist. 8. Where in the world do you feel “tallest” (i.e. where is your happy place)? 1000 feet in the air, over Tomales Bay in my ultralight. Seeing seals or leopard sharks is a plus. 9. What are some of your favourite sports that may serve as a good spring board to get girls into action and fearless activities? If one had to start slow and get them comfortable with risk? Stand up paddle boarding is very easy to do but it feels badass, bc it’s on water and it can be a little difficult at first. There are also some things to keep an eye on – tides, and winds for example – so it’s a step up from walking down a trail. 10. What is it like staring fear (and I mean major fear, like dying) into face? During your sports, etc.? What was your self-monologue? I know that fear is telling me something, but it’s often not telling me to step down. In many situations the feeling of fear is a reflex or a reaction that has come too late. I was once blown out of a hallway during a fire and as I picked myself up after the explosion I was freaking terrified. But then your brain catches up and you realize, hey, it’s over, you’re fine. The truth is that now the situation had just gotten a whole lot safer – the explosion had happened and now conditions were tenable. Fear wasn’t relevant anymore. It was time to go back into the hallway, and put out the fire. 11. What fears are you still hoping to overcome? My fear of not being perfect. The problem with growing up female in the US is that there is a deep sense you have to do everything correctly and if you don’t you’re bad, but in fact I’ve seen that the most grace comes from simply recognizing you’ve done something wrong, saying sorry, and pledging to do it better next time. I want to be that person. I’ve tried to adopt the mindset that I’m going to be perfect at imperfection, and that has been helping. 12. Anything you'd do differently (if you had another go at life)? Wingsuiting. However I would have to be reincarnated with a tad more common sense and be a little less accident-prone. 13. What inspires you? Women who do rad things. I just saw a documentary about some female BASE jumpers. It’s frustrating that people don’t realize how many women are out there performing brave acts and adventuring at a very high level. For a long time I thought no women did things like wingsuiting bc I hadn’t read about any but I did a little digging and there are a core group. How many, I don’t know, but definitely more than none. And we should know this! 14. What are you hopeful about? That the younger generation will shift everything we are doing and save the world from us. Climate change will be stopped and we will kick fossil fuels and we will somehow reverse our swift overpopulation of this planet. Our wild places will be saved, animals and insects will not suffer or go extinct. Oh, hold it, did you say “hopeful”? I thought you said Pie in the Sky dream. Honestly I am not really a hopeful person. I am hopeful about puppies. But otherwise, not much. 15. What are you reading now? (what books do you gift most and what are your favourite reads?) I gift H.A. Rey’s The Stars. It’s a book on constellations. I think that looking at the sky gives us a sense of our place in the universe, which is, note to humans, TINY. We need to feel infintesimal if we are to survive, is my opinion. Am I on this rant again? Okay, I’ll get off it and add that when you look at the sky and recognize constellations, it’s quite comforting, bc there it is, the same sky almost where ever you go. 16. Who is/are inspiring “WOW Woman” (or Women) in your life (and why)? My twin sister. She is a dogged animal rights activist and all around kickass woman. My partner Wendy MacNaughton is an illustrator and she is the most creative person I know. She hates the word creative, but I don’t know how else to say it. Whatever the word is when someone takes an idea and makes it better/funnier/more poignant. That word. Better yet, she comes up with something that feels totally new, and you think Oh, Right, and your perspective is suddenly changed. Once you look through her work you’ll know what I’m talking about. 17. Where can others find you/your work (links to websites, blogs, etc.)? Carolinepaul.com @carowriter

[kamthebirdman-blog]

tagged by @sanctuary-in-dreams

Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, when you are done tag up to ten people and also tag the person who tagged you. A - Age: This year I’m turning 24 in, like, a month B - Biggest fear:  Everyone knows of my fear of insects and arachnids, but honestly my fear is being left behind while everyone moves ahead.  Don’t think that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s what it is. C - Current time: 5:29 D - Drink you last had: Coca-Cola, which I probably shouldn’t drink because I just fixed my heart rate... Caffine messes it up but I need to stay alive in order to make money and be useful. E - Every day starts with: Scrambled Eggs, Bacon and tater tots... and a mad dash to get to work. F - Favourite song:  My theme song of course!  It doesn’t have lyrics, but you it just sounds like something you’d save the day to.

G - Ghosts are they real: Yeah... Glad they don’t bother me though. I - In love with: Well, if fictional people count... way too many.  In real life, nada. K - Killed someone: I killed a few minions of the Darkness in Destiny the other day.  Feel free to message me and exchange gamertags and friend codes if you wanna play some time!  I could use some raid partners. L - Last time you cried: A few weekends ago.  My first job which I’m still stuck with is crushing my soul... but I stay strong because god damn it... discounts and free admission to the parks are the only reason I still stay with it. M - Middle name: I have two.  Gabriel is the one I commonly use because the other one is a maiden name that only two people have been able to pronounce correctly. N - Number of siblings: two younger brothers... but I have a so many gal pals that I hang out with so much that it feels weird not to call them sisters.  I lost count after, like, seven. O - One wish: I’m not telling that!  It won’t come true otherwise!  Jerks... P - Person you last called/texted:  Friends. Q - Questions you are always asked: "WHERE’S MARIO?”  “Did you go to work today?”  “How much did you make this week?” R - Reasons to smile: Giant robots, cats...  S - Song last sang:   I don’t sing.  In the car, I lip sync the shit out of this:

Just kidding, I sing this in the car and dance and everything.  Traffic jams are boring.  What else am I supposed to do?  Listen to the radio?  Pfft...

T - Time you woke up: When I want... but today it was 8:00.

U - Underwear colour: Why would it matter?  You’re not seeing it unless you did my laundry.

V - Vacation destination: Gundam Front Tokyo, and the famous Gunpla shops all around Asia... Skywalker Ranch.  My room, because day off time is sleeping time.

W - Worst habit: Sometimes being inconsiderate of others... or forgetting to take care of myself.

X - X-Rays you’ve had: Teeth

Y - Your favourite food: Chicken Tenders or Philly Cheesesteaks.

Z- Zodiac sign: Aries.

Tagging @vokter-av-kongeriker, @xechoes-of-absolutionx, @brilliantbasque, @archerofmitrenzi, @dragon-from-two-lands, @tombedtomes, @fatedguardsmen, @nohr-soror, @thxsfeelsgood, @blindlyxdivine

[robloxfan222]

Holmes and Watson (2018)

Prior to 2018, the last decade showed two iterations of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s iconic Sherlock Holmes. The first pair: Two feature length movies, starring Robert Downey Junior (The Shaggy Dog, 2006) and Jude Law (Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, 2004) in original period pieces with new mysteries for the eccentric duo to encounter.

The second iteration was the BBC serial Sherlock starring Benedict Cumberbatch (Zoolander 2, 2016) and Martin Freeman (Swinging with the Finkels, 2011) in a contemporary reimagining of the detectives, set in modern-day Great Britain.

Both imaginings of the iconic Sherlock Holmes were met with varying levels of approval, as they separately boasted elements, both borrowed and original, to enhance and continue the spirit of Doyle’s series.

Yet, neither was perfect.

The 2008/2011 films left little to the imagination.

The immigration away from text and onto the silver screen left behind traditional elements favoured by detective stories. The translation left the audience struggling to keep up in both iterations, as the clues left behind were either completely irrelevant or far beyond the perceptive capabilities of even the brightest minds.

Thus, they have developed a distinct “style” - similar to The Matrix’s bullet time sequence - where the world slows down and the audience is graced with the mind of Holmes, as he meticulously analyses his surroundings for clues or a way out of a sticky situation. Admittedly, the scenes are well composited and entertaining, yet when this occurs for the 10th time, and it is revealed that Sherlock Holmes’s forgotten sister, who has been locked underground for several decades whilst secretly orchestrating elaborate crimes set out to take down her brother, it becomes quite fantastical and the thread of a detective story is lost.

So, where does that leave us?

In a world where it’s either Downey junior noticing a smudge of coal that is hidden out of focus to incriminate the killer, or it’s Cumberbatch partaking in an overarching plot so fantastical it puts shows like Game of Thrones to shame with how incredulous it is.

There was a void. And when there is darkness, light must also exist.

Etan Cohen, a man lost in darkness, became determined to labour aneath the stars to bring back the day. With the zest of deranged chemist, the man first discovered the potential of William Ferrell in Get Hard (2015), satisfied with the charm of Ferrell, Cohen abandoned Kevin Hart in pursuit of a partner that would match, and satiate, the sexually charged actor.

It was only after 3 arduous years, that Cohen finally forged in his hands, the guiding light.

A light that transformed the silver screen to a golden sheet - illuminating screens across the world. This film, in our mortal tongue, is known as “Holmes and Watson” (2018).

Under the guise of a blockheaded mystery-comedy starring Will Ferrell and John C Reilly, the film remains largely misunderstood by modern audiences. The story, composition and characters, in my eyes, are exceptional. And upon reading the harsh criticisms of the film, coupled with the disappointed murmurs in the cinema as the film drew to an end, all i could think of was John 20:15.

Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?" Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away."

Where we are Mary, an audience so infatuated with superficial expectations of what a masterpiece film looks like - a misinterpretation of messiah. Yet, it is no fault to have faith - fault lies where an audience cannot dismiss a preconceived perception of expectation when the truth lies before their eyes.

So wipe your eyes, and beliefs of what makes a “good” movie. Sit down and watch this film.

Cohen, in his pursuits of greatness, realised that modern audiences would struggle to interpret the film upon first watching. The satirical comedy surpasses its predecessors with ease, utilising “punchline humour” on steroids to deliver an entertaining story alongside relevant social commentary. The sophisticated story beats and comedic timing of the film only exacerbate the message of love, companionship and big brain thinking.

Following the footsteps of previous films/shows, the film takes creative license in how it portrays Doyle’s detective. Still a genius, Sherlock is shown as a flawed character, he is vain and unfeeling - whilst Watson, his sidekick, struggles to earn the feelings of recognition he so desires. The characters and the plot are so intertwined, they could not exist without the other.

The characters are distinct, not just by appearance but also by personality. Each with their own clear goals and motivations, with an iconic protagonist and a villain I would compare with Heath Ledger’s depiction of The Joker. As usual, Holmes and Watson are depicted as two halves of a functioning human being, and their reliance on one another is heartwarming. Inspector Lestrade is readily abused, but has a hot wife. The love interest for Watson is a (((woman))) doctor, and motivates him to seek self worth even in the shadow of Sherlock. Whilst Sherlock falls for a woman with the mental capacity of a 4 year old, a clever use of juxtaposition to highlight the desire of man to fulfil the gaps within their own psyche.

Of course, Holmes is nothing without Moriarty. In the film, Moriarty is shown to use a doppelganger in his stead, yet the crime is orchestrated by his daughter, who also happens to be Mrs Hudson. Drawing a clever connection between the two, Cohen capitalises upon this link to deliver a satisfying reveal, and twist, in the third act that delights audiences. Her character is so well developed, in fact, that I found myself rooting for her once or twice! Of course, her true motivation is hinted at once or twice before it is revealed. She is seen being abused by the detectives (earning her ire), and is caught sleeping with Mark Twain, Albert Einstein and Harry Houdini (just to name a few) characters that foreshadow her future plan of murdering the queen.

The characters within the film are iconic, I am almost certain they will go down in history as blueprints for future filmmakers to use. The sophistication of their personality - and dialogue - reflect a bright future for cinema if these threads are pursued.

The premise is simple - the pair of detectives have several days to catch a mysterious figure threatening to kill the queen. There is no larger conspiracy, there is no unrevealed force. It is, at the very core, a game between two people far more intelligent than you and I.

Thus, the film does not become marred by inconsequential plot points or convoluted additions to its core. By remaining focused, Holmes and Watson capitalises on its simple plot with what really made the original stories so well loved: the mystery.

Clues are littered throughout the film for audiences to pick up on. Instead of holding the hand of watchers, Cohen realises that true intellects would be able to solve the film before its over. Several clever examples include: A jagged tattoo can only mean a one-handed tattoo artist knows the secret identity of Moriarty, or perhaps that red velvet cake is Watson’s favourite and only the housekeeper knows how to make it his favourite way which makes her the daughter of Moriarty and thus the threat to the queen.

If you couldn't pick up these cues, you shouldn’t bother reproducing, your intelligence (or lack of) doesn’t need to be continued in the human race.

So how does the film ascend from a good detective story to a masterpiece film?

The execution.

The execution of this film is flawless. The humourous interactions between characters and film elements remain relevant in driving the plot of the film forwards. Elements such as the aforementioned “slow-motion” scenes, unexpected musical cues and social commentary - each excellent in their own right - serve a purpose of driving the plot forwards.

Critiquing the cliche “detectives slow motion,” Cohen utilises the scenes as a comedic way of enhancing the human elements behind Holmes. Its usage at the beginning of the film, where Holmes, armed with a baseball bat, is hunting a mosquito that has rested upon a glass case full of killer bees gives the audience its first experience with the technique. The scene uses many mathematical equations whizzing past a freeze-framed scene, coupled with an narration of Holmes’ thought process, before snapping into reality and him quietly splatting the insect. Yet, Cohen realises that this is just stupid. The glass promptly breaks, forcing the pair to deal with the consequences. In this moment, the audience realises that Holmes is just human - he also makes mistakes. This leads to a doubt, a doubt that contradicts the arrogant attitude of the protagonist as well as the preconceived notion of a Sherlock Holmes that is always correct.

Catharsis in film can be expressed in many ways. Tarantino alters aspect ratio, Michael Bay utilises his iconic “stand up with the camera swinging around you” shot, and Cohen inserts a musical number into his film. The musical number focuses on Sherlock Holmes and his discovery of love. It is a beautiful duet, that serves as a turning point: where Holmes first feels feelings outside of his usual depression. Did i mention both characters are depressed? Yeah, the film opens with Watson trying to kill himself, but instead he forms an unhealthy attachment to Holmes. Holmes is addicted to drugs, and remains depressive without another “big mystery” (I suspect it is a metaphor for opioids).

The social commentary in this film is relevant to the modern day and age. If there is one thing I fear about this film, is that these plot points may no longer be relevant in the very near future. How can anyone ignore this film’s plea’s for Donald Trump's impeachment, or women doctors, or even rampant substance abuse issues? Seriously, there are far too many of these scenes for me to mention - you have to watch the film yourself.

Thus, ends my praise for the film. There are no negatives. Go watch this film yourself. Sit down with an open mind, and appreciate the twist on the detective genre. Laugh, cry and enjoy yourself. You’re gazing upon a messiah in disguise. 10/10.

[nadiafayrosemelham-blog]

I’d like to say I’m generally a lucky person. Nothing too misfortunate has ever happened during my 23 years of existence, I try to stay an honest and good human as much as possible, I don’t tempt the devil too often, and I’m a big believer in karma. What goes around comes around right? I’m basically a Buddhist.

Let me just go back to the first sentence of the last paragraph there, where I’ve written ‘I’m generally a lucky person’, and finish this sentence with, in Cambodia I was NOT a lucky person! My Buddhist belief is slightly wavering as I sit on my plane that can’t leave Cambodia quick enough, and think to myself… surely I’ve don’t nothing TOO dramatic to deserve THAT?

At the same time, I’ve recently adapted a new life motto thanks to one of my favourite people in life, the inspirational Lisa Wiltshire. It started out a few months back as ‘live a life worth writing a novel about’ and currently stands a little closer to ‘live a life worth writing a series about’. So on the other shoe (not currently wearing shoes because who keeps their shoes on during a flight), I also believe everything happens for a reason! Very firm firm believer in that one, not questioning this motto at all!

So let me tell you about my memorable trip to Cambodia. I’ll also point out that I’ve used the word memorable, because memorable is a word you use when it wasn’t great, and it wasn’t shit, but you just won’t ever forget it!

It started very innocently with my time in Siem Reap. I took a visit to the Angkor Wat Temples which are absolutely amazing, and wandered around the night market in the evenings. It was drama free and very chilled. I think the starting point in my series of unfortunate events begins with my night bus from Siem Reap to Sihanoukeville, where I was then due to board a ferry to the picturesque island of Koh Rong.

The night bus was a weird hotel bus where you literally share a single bed with a stranger (word of warning you could NEVER travel SEA if you are overweight.. sorry to crush any hopes and dreams but there are just too many tight spaces to deal with and it ain’t gonna happen). I was lucky enough to be put next to a nice young Canadian gal and we both pretty much slept the whole way. At one point I woke up to the bus driver changing the front tyre (NOTE: I think this could be where the series of unfortunate events begins). Not sure how long we were there for but obviously a while as the bus arrived late and I managed to miss my ferry to the island.

I headed to the Buva Sea Ferry office to get on board the next, and seeing as Asia is just organised chaos anyway, I chicken scratched the ferry time off my ticket so I didn’t have to pay more. I had already mentally blamed the receptionist from the hostel for this if anyone was to question my ticket. Soon enough I was on the list for the 11am ferry and was waiting eagerly by the pier. By 12.30 a substitute ferry finally rolled in to take us to the island, as apparently seas were too rough for our small speed ferry.

Sitting front and centre in the ferry, I was dreaming of the white sandy beaches I would soon be lounging upon. As I gazed ahead into the blue sea, I could see waves the size of Africa, which were soon met with the sound of the motor cutting. One giant wave came over the front of the boat and under the front doors into the cabin. Straight after the first wave, a second GIANT wave came rolling over the front of the boat, in through the windows, and absolutely SOAKED the front two rows including lil’ old me. Just to clarify I’m talking a tsunami style wave, and a whole ocean of water inside the boat.

Now has anyone ever told you to make sure you keep all your valuables close to you when travelling? Of course they have, it is absolutely drilled in to you by anyone who cares, and yes of course I had all of my valuables with me including my new MacBook Air and my IPhone 6. I quickly headed straight to the back of the boat where I pulled out my laptop and phone. Water pouring out of both, I wiped them down with a cloth of some sort but my hopes had pretty much been washed away with that wave.

After arriving to the island I managed to buy 2 kilos of rice off an elderly woman for $2, based on the promise that I would eventually return it to her to use for her cooking. Needless to say I was not eating at her restaurant during my stay in Koh Rong. I briefly attempted to save the electronics but the laptop was 100% fried, and the phone only half touch responsive. I held out hope that I could get the phone fixed when I eventually landed in Phnom Penh.

On the ferry, I met a few other girls who were also headed to a secluded hostel on the island called ‘Suns of Beaches’ which was apparently so super chill that you had to take a long tail boat to get there. After climbing off the ferry slightly defeated by the rough ride, we soon found out that there were no boats running to this part of the island due once again to the rough waters. So now I’ve got a fried laptop, a phone that barely works, I’m feeling like a broken woman from the rough ferry ride, AND I can’t get to my hostel (which I’m secretly happy about because I don’t want to look at another boat). I was the first to cut my losses, and soon enough we all decided to check into a hostel in the central area of the island.

We went out for a few drinks to soothe our souls, and eventually headed to bed in our dorm room. I buddied up with a lovely German girl, who I will here on refer to as Germany, not in a racist way, but just because I like that name (her real name was Mirjam). She would be my new partner in crime over the coming days. The first hour of attempted sleep in my dorm bed involved itching, rolling around, applying insect repellant, and giving up on the cause. The following hours of my night involved finding a late night restaurant to sit at and make use of their wifi (on Germany’s iPad that she had so kindly let me borrow because remember my electronics hate me). By the time morning came around I had lodged my travel insurance claim, googled fancy hotels to stay in, had finished my book, and managed to photograph the sunrise! Maybe things weren’t so bad after all!

That day Germany and I enjoyed the gorgeous beaches, and found a double room next door that was clean and perfect for $10 a night. On our 3rd day Miriam convinced me to hike to Suns of Beaches (the hostel we were meant to be staying at), which was about an hours walk from the main village. The first 45 minutes were so beautiful that I wouldn’t even call it a hike. We were just wandering along the beach bare feet with huge backpacks on our back.

In the last what should have been 15 minutes however, things took a turn for the worst. We came to the final section of the hike where you walk through a trail in the jungle. Part way in the trail split in two, and as we stood there wondering which way to go, Miriam said left and I said right. Left we went, as I’d decided I didn’t always need to be right (excuse the pun)! The path started to look super dodgy and I questioned the decision endlessly as we pressed forward under Germany’s lead. After climbing over fallen trees and manoeuvring over boulders we came to a second path, which also split both left and right. Once again Germany chose left, and I chose right. Germany pulled out her frozen map and convinced me once again that left was the way – don’t trust a German with a broken map.

As we wandered down the dry path, about half an hour later we sighted a wooden hut in the distance. That must be it we shouted for joy! But as we neared closer it was actually just a locals house surrounded by chickens, stray dogs, week old garbage and with an entire family perched up on the front verandah. We tried to ask for directions but needless to say, we were soo far out of the tourist zone that their English was definitely not permitting. We stood there for about 10 minutes while a pre-teen boy gave us false hope, staring into his phone in a manner that turned out to be aimless. ‘Maps’ I said pointing to his phone, hoping he would pull up a google map and show us where we were, but that would have been wayyyy too good to be true. He just shrugged his child sized shoulders and gazed up at us with lost eyes.

At this point I took charge as I looked around with no sign of anything marine. ‘We’re going back to the second fork in the path and headed right’. Miriam hesitantly followed me back along the long path we had wandered, and we continued to the right. Did I already point out that we’re in Cambodian heat carrying our entire life on our back? Well we were… but soon enough we came to the waters edge, and simultaneously to a sign that read ‘SUNS OF BEACHES’. Thank the bloody lord for that!

Stumbling up to the hostel check-in area, we told the young Scottish chap we were there to check in and stated our names. Miriam had been emailing them on our behalf during my unplanned technology cleanse, and she had informed them know we would be arriving. Good ole Scotland sat perched up behind the counter and exclaimed ‘I’ve got one bed for Miriam, and no beds for Nadia.’ Ohhh.. perfect! So you’ve got no beds then? ‘Nope, no beds tonight. But your welcome to sleep in a hammock for free. Or go head to toe with Miriam!’ Oh wonderful, the curse of Cambodia continues.

That night we went swimming with the bioluminescent plankton once the sun had set, and watched the water light up around us as we splashed about. What a gorgeous sight it was, and one of the reasons I was determined to go to the island. Once bed time arrived we ended up settling for the head to toe option, and arranged ourselves on the bottom bunk. At about 4am I awoke feeling pretty ‘shitty’ if ya know what I mean, and vomited my life away. Each hour I awoke to visit the bathroom, then resumed head to toe positioning. Of course I had managed to pick up a bug or gastro or whatever it wanted to call itself as it slowly consumed me from the inside.

When morning came I took the first long tail boat back to the main village area, where I would stay a final night back in the double room to sort myself out before the traumatic ferry ride back to the mainland. That morning I’d put on fresh clothes in an attempt to make myself feel wonderful, and tried to convince myself I would make it through the long tail trip without pooping my pants. After heading down to the boat, I soon discovered it was anchored 30m out to sea, and we had to wade over to it with our bags above our head. By this point I really would not have been phased if I dropped my entire bag in the ocean. In fact I probably would have just left it there if I had. But nevertheless I made it to the boat with my fresh clothes soaked and my belly hating life, and my bag made it too.

Soon the boat took off and I realised that once again, I was actually sitting at the front of the boat. Wonderful! I warned the lad next to me that sitting there was probably a terrible mistake as I was currently a series of unfortunate events, and he laughed it off with a slightly scared look left on his face once he realised how serious I was.

I made it back to the main village, and again waded through the breast deep water with my bags above my head. I checked back into the double room and came across the pals I’d made a few days ago, ready to entertain them with my stories. Andrew (aka. England) got a real kick out of my misfortune, and showed me a little sympathy by allowing me the share his laptop and indulge in a movie for some entertainment in my sick state. He fetched me water and noodles, and kept me entertained with his dodgy English humour. Did I mention that on this afternoon I also managed to disable my phone by tapping excessively at the screen to work and entering the pin incorrectly one too many times? So my phone now says ‘connect to iTunes’, but I can’t do that because my computer is fried isn’t it! So the comforting thought of still having the contents of my phone is now shattered as I realise I will have to factory reset the phone after fixing the screen. WHAT-IS-TECHNOLOGY?

The next day I sat at the dodgiest pier of the four on the island with my stomach feeling just as dodgy. England had come along to send me off, and we joked about how the tiny boat that looked like it held two people at the end of the pier would be my boat. Safe to say that god damn boat was indeed my Buva Sea Ferry. On board I climbed, or rather leaped as the boat bounced around everywhere, and stood there trying to calculate which seat would be best to sit in, in the case of another rogue wave.

The boat took off and I can 100% say it was the most outrageous experience yet. It would be no exaggeration to say that I would pay a lot of money at Sydney Harbour to experience that same boat ride. The only difference is that I would receive a life jacket and a seat belt, and the boat would be labelled ‘The JetSpinner’. I sat there gripping at the handles tighter then mum used to grip the car handles when I was a learner driver, and thinking to myself, it’s been a nice life! I think I made eye contact with every single person on that boat, just to check if they were filled with the same fears as I was. My previous dramatic ferry ride had taught me that when the motor cuts, it is NOT a good sign, and by the time I could sight land in the distance I think the motor had cut about 16 times and we had become proper airborne at least 5 of those times. There were 2 vomits, 12 shaken passengers, and 24 wobbly knees onboard.

I sat at the cafe I was due to be collected from, and recovered from the experience whilst mentally preparing for my bus ride ahead. As pickup time came close I confirmed with a few too many waitstaff that I would definitely be getting collected from that cafe. A feeling in my belly told me things were not improving, and I asked one final person about the pickup, who responded ‘Oh, the driver has already been and collected everyone!’ Of course he bloody has! With a few minutes to spare, I hopped on the back of a motorbike and headed for the bus departure point, where a phone call had been made to ask the driver to wait for me. Finally I was on the bus, and NOTHING ELSE COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG.

I made it to Phnom Penh, where I continued to suffer gastro from my Koh Rong visit. I took my phone to the night market where it was fixed within 15 minutes, and then managed to lock myself out of every bank account and email account I own by entering incorrect passwords. Touch recognition on iPhones is a blessing and a curse, as if I would remember the 9 million different passwords I’ve got for each account.

To be fair apart from the above, Phnom Penh was mostly drama free – and I was soon headed to the airport to take my flight to Indonesia and leave this cursed land of Cambodia! Very conscious of how my luck had been panning out, I decided to leave for the airport excessively early. I sat, waiting for the check in counter to open, and when it did, I jumped in the line. After about a 40 minute wait to the front (and after feeling very content in the line about my luck improving), I was faced by a Cambodian man. He asked for my departure flight details from Indonesia and I informed him I was yet to book a flight, but was only staying a week or so. The kind sir proceeded to tell me that he was unable to check me in for the flight until I had a departure flight FROM Indonesia. So let me just clarify this for you quickly… I’m due to fly Cambodia to Indonesia, with a layover in Malaysia, and this dude cares about my DEPARTURE flight from INDONESIA?…. Excuse me, but why on God’s earth do YOU Cambooodia, care when or as a matter of fact, IF I ever leave Indonesia?

I’ve learnt mostly by observation that you will get absolutely nowhere by arguing or back and forth-ing with anyone in Asia, so I accepted defeat and stepped to the side in order to book my flight leaving Indonesia. I had one hour to book the flight which seemed easy enough, but of course with Nadia’s lucky this wasn’t the case. I could feel myself floating further and further up shit creek with a dodgy airport wifi connection and a ticking clock staring me in the face. Time passed and the check-in line slowly disappeared. I literally had 4 minutes left to check in, and I looked at the Cambodian man with the saddest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen in your life, thinking to myself he is for sure a dad or an uncle or at least has a bloody soul! He took a look at my eyes slowly filling with tears from the past two weeks, and said ‘Well, you did TRY to book a flight so I’ll check you in. But just make sure you book a departure flight before you get to Indonesia or you might have trouble.’ I thanked him one too many times not really knowing what the hell for, and sprinted to my gate to get on that god damn plane.

I was pretty much the last person to board, and I could see my row up ahead with two people filling the seats next to mine. In front, row 25 sat entirely empty from A through C, and I said to myself “Fuck it!” I sat in that row all by myself and spread out across the three seats absolutely stoking the blazing fire that was my fate whilst the wheels smoothly lifted off the tarmac. I could practically feel the Cambodian curse being lifted as we ascended further into the air, and I could finally rest easy.

Summary of unfortunate events:

Bus arrived late to Sihanoukeville and missed my ferry

Managed to board a later ferry involving tsunami waves, wet bums, and fried electronics

Couldn’t get to secluded island hostel due to rough seas

Bed at substitute hostel filled with biting bugs = sleepless night

Got lost in the Cambodian jungle with no ocean in sight in attempt to find original hostel

Caught a gastro bug after swimming with the plankton in the lush Koh Rong water

Bounced around for an hour on return ferry ride to mainland as surrounding passengers chucked up and winced around me

Missed pick up to deliver me to my bus to Phnom Penh

Just about missed my flight out of Cambodia due to weird Cambodian airport regulations that I still don’t understand

(Hold tight for my next post, to see if the Cambodian curse really had been lifted, or if it was just the altitude playing havoc on my senses.)