#konan headcanons

[or0ch1maru]

18+, minors, ageless, and troll blogs DNI

just imagine your partner coming home after a particularly bad mission. barely giving you time to acknowledge their presence before they have your face mushed into the carpet. their cock bullying its way into your warm walls. getting lost in the way you squirt against them as they keep up with their relentless pace. groaning as a white ring forms at the base of their dick. their nails leaving crescent shaped marks on your hips from how tightly they’re gripping you. your back so deeply arched that you know you’ll be feeling it tomorrow but not caring as you go drunk on your lovers cock. their signature wolfy grin forming on their face as they watch your eyes roll back and drool pooling on the floor under you..

HIDAN, KAKUZU, KISAME, ZABUZA, JUZO, Itachi, deidara, Sasori, pain, Konan, Orochimaru, Zetsu, Obito, TOJI, SUGURU, SATORU, SUKUNA, Nanami, Shoko, GRIMMJOW, KENPACHI, KID, ZORO, CROCODILE, Mihawk, Buggy, & whoever else..

[cosmic-glow]

Request: "May I request soft akatsuki headcannons for a reader who loves to bake and cook? It's a passion of mine, and a great stress reliever! There's nothing I won't try and try to make!"

Notes: First of all, I'm sorry it took me so long to respond 😭 I also like cooking and I completely agree with you! I hope you like what I wrote, good reading!

"Are you hungry, love?"- Akatsuki

Warnings: no pronouns; no use of "y/n"; pure cuteness. Gender: Soft Headcanons. Characters: Itachi; Kisame; Deidara; Sasori; Kakuzu; Hidan; Zetsu; Tobi/Obito; Pein; Konan.

Itachi Uchiha

He always offers you help in the kitchen.

He is very picky when cooking for someone but is easily satisfied with whatever you cook for him.

He feels obligated to return the favor by cooking for you too. That's why he took charge of breakfast, always waking up before you to prepare what you like.

Likes hot foods and pasta. Loves handmade sweets.

He prefers traditional foods, but accepts trying new flavors when he's with you.

He loves going out to buy new ingredients with you, he knows a lot about the subject and would be of great help.

Kisame Hoshigaki

You know that popular saying that the best way to conquer a man is through his stomach? It applies very well to this man.

He likes to be spoiled with food and will be grateful for it so.. please cook for him.

His heart feels warm when he comes home and smells something delicious you are preparing.

He likes foods with a sweet and sour taste, and he loves meat. He also loves sweets, so it's not hard to please Kisame.

He loves trying new flavors with you. If you want, he'll even help you in the kitchen, but he's not very good (he's a bit clumsy).

He'll find a way to say thank you, whether it's washing the dishes, giving gifts, taking you out to eat, all of the above, whatever you prefer.

He's the kind of guy who would eat what you prepared even if it was completely burnt if he knew you put effort into it.

Deidara

He likes fast food, but is very happy when you cook for him.

Thanks to you, he's starting to eat more healthily, because he has a childish palate and is very resistant to exploring new flavors.

He likes spicy foods because are like an explosion in the mouth.

"I have to say, honey, your cooking is an art!" - he says with his mouth full when he really likes it.

One of his favorite moments of the day is when you're eating something you've prepared or he's bought, watching a movie and talking about anything.

It's something very simple, but if you make a cake just for him on his birthday, he'll feel so loved that he might even cry a little.

(Sometimes he brags to the other members about having such a skilled s/o in the kitchen).

But please keep this boy the hell away from the kitchen! When I say he's a complete chaos cooking, it's because the kitchen almost always explodes! Literally!

Sasori

He often forgets that he still needs to eat due to his puppet body, so he's grateful that you remind him. He still needs to eat a little every now and then to ensure a bit of vital energy or something.

And yes, that was the lie he invented to not disappoint you. And regardless of whether you believed it or not, he always eats your food, even though he knows how much work it will take to clean his insides afterwards (don't worry, he'll probably come up with something to solve this).

Understand, he lied because he knows how important cooking is to you, he sees how much you work at it, but had the misfortune of being with a guy who doesn't need to eat… but he couldn't risk hurting you for something that's his fault.

Sasori only eats your food and no one else's, no matter how much they insist.

He likes foods with strong spices, he no longer feels flavors in the same way as when he was a human.

At the end of every meal, he politely thanks you for the delicious food and offers to help with the dishes.

Kakuzu

He likes hot, very hot, and traditional foods. Doesn't like sweets.

He's great in the kitchen and sometimes cooks for you too, as a thank you. Kakuzu has many years of experience in the kitchen, take the opportunity to ask questions and get some tips, he may not show it but he really likes to help you.

Maybe you don't know, but Kakuzu practically never eats out, he knows that some people want him dead and could easily poison his food. So for him to eat everything you prepare without hesitation is really a great show of trust.

He is very silent while eating, but he doesn't mind if you want to talk about your day, he will be listening to every part.

He really appreciates your food, getting involved and asking about the spices you used, how you prepared it, he really likes it when you test a new recipe.

Always at the end of every meal he thanks you for the food and gets up before you to clear the table and wash the dishes, a silent way of thanking you.

Hidan

Spicy and crunchy foods and sour desserts, it's true heaven for him...

As incredible as it may seem, Hidan is very picky about his food, it's unbearable to go out to eat with him, it seems like he always makes a point of finding some flaw.

But it's the total opposite with you, he eats everything you prepare without complaining too much, just teasing you a little as always. Except if he is angry with you for some reason, then he will be impossible, no matter what you prepared, he will not eat it.

Hidan has a very annoying childhood palate, so don't force him to eat something he doesn't really like, like vegetables for example.

You'll probably have some arguments about him drink any kind of blood but not wanting to eat the soup you made (for example), but it won't change anything.

Whenever you enter the kitchen, Hidan follows right behind to find out what you're going to prepare and also because he loves to annoy you while you're cooking. He tickles you, bites you, hugs you, kisses you and even steals some utensils to disturb you before you kick him out of the kitchen.

Zetsu

He likes meat a lot, in fact you thought it was the only thing he could eat.

He is very impatient and even hugs you trying to convince you to let him eat before you finish.

"I don't care that it's not ready yet and it's raw, I'm hungry, love. Let me eat it just the way it is."

Not a very good critic of your recipes, he will eat literally anything you put in front of him and thank you for it.

You are the one who teaches him to have a more refined palate and he loves trying new flavors with you.

Zetsu grows a vegetable garden just for you, with everything you need fresh and tasty for your recipes.

Tobi/Obito Uchiha

Tobi >loves< sweets, make sweets for him and you'll have him curled up in the palm of your hand.

Both Tobi and Obito don't like spicy food.

He feels so loved when you cook for him <3 (a tip: prepare ramen for him when he's sad, it'll make him feel better).

Whenever he comes home early he brings you some sweets he bought at the bakery as a treat.

This is another man who is very easy to win over with his stomach. He'll feel very special if you tell him you've prepared something just for him. Make him your guinea pig for new recipes, he really doesn't mind and always gives you great feedback.

He always offers you the first bite out of respect, he is as happy to see you eating and talking about how tasty it is as he is to eat something you prepared.

Pein

Pein went through long periods of starvation as a child, so as much as it may seem, he isn't very picky about what he eats.

Likes hot and spicy foods. Hate sweets.

He is a great fan of your food, even if you've accidentally burnt it or overdone the seasoning, he'll be happy to eat something you've lovingly prepared.

Due to his work as leader of Akatsuki, he often forgets to eat properly. It's you who show up at his office and remind him to eat, with something you've prepared in hand, he's really grateful for your care.

He is always attentive to your needs. Did you like a cuter utensil kit than the ones you have? It's yours. Wanting new seasonings? Suddenly they appear in your pantry. Everything you need.

Pein always makes it clear how he likes you to cook but that he doesn't want you to be overwhelmed with it, so he does everything to make this task easier for you, including ordering something from restaurants for you to eat and enjoy your free time together.

Konan

She likes mild sweets and, ironically, spicy foods. (Please make sweets for Konan, she likes a lot).

She will always feel like she is bothering or burdening you when you cook for her.

Konan isn't that good in the kitchen, so she's grateful to have a s/o who cooks so well. Sometimes she watches you cook to try to learn something, in an attempt to return the favor one day.

Buy a lot of sweets for you and make a point of always keeping your pantry well stocked so you don't have to worry about buying ingredients.

As I said, Konan doesn't like to burden you, so very often she takes you on restaurant dates.

Konan loves the culinary tours you plan, she could listen to you talk for hours about techniques, recipes and ideas. She loves seeing how excited you get talking about it.

Sorry for any typos;

Buy me a coffee?

Masterlist

[nardo-headcanons]

Hey my dear mutual! Another super stupid and weird request coming, so, please, feel totally free to ignore completely if you want, really. So, let's say instead of a criminal organization, the Akatsuki are actually a lab team. Which would be their roles, their work focus or their research topics? How would they behave at work with each other or, I don't know, whatever you can think of. Inspired by your agar plates post, by the way, hahahaha

Hello Sasuke, my dear. Don't call your asks weird, I love how creative they are! If anyone wants to write a fic about this please TAG me!

Big thanks to @the-real-sasuke-uchiha for requesting!

The Akatsuki in a modern research lab AU

Akatsuki Labs, Inc. No one knows what they're actually researching, and how they get their funding, however everyone hires them, they're incredibly popular with institutions and businesses alike...

Deidara is a lab rookie who is still at the beginning of his study. He went to a scientific high school and an absolute ace at chemistry. Besides studying chemistry, his other major is pyrotechnical engineering. He blows shit up on the regular and even adds copper sulphate to fires when he is the one supposed to put them out. He frequently steals minerals from the lab to use them for his pottery projects. And yes, he knows how to make meth.

Hidan is on his way to become a neurologist. He is fascinated by the way the nervous system works (especially while processing pain) and has the ego of a neurosurgeon twice his age. However he is regularly asked for a second opinion because he knows his shit. He's pretty popular with the ladies due to his confidence, however many of them are freaked out when they find out what a huge masochist he is.

I've never seen Itachi as a huge stem guy, but I've actually had a discussion about this with my dear moots @pet-plasma-bubble and @suki91 and came to the conclusion that he's either a plant biologist or studies medicine because he's one of these kids with a chronic and/or underdiagnosed illness going into medicine to make a change. Plant biologist!Itachi regularly talks to his plants when no one is looking and he gives them names as well. He doesn't really care much for the actual lab work and prefers to take care of the plants in the different lab greenhouses. Med student!Itachi is one of these anatomy girlies who draw their stuff in fancy colors and actually enjoy studying human anatomy.

Kakuzu is a senior scientist/professor who initially studied pharmacology/pharmacy to save many lives and prolong the lives of millions, but eventually got disillusioned and sold his soul to the pharma industry. He should technically be retired now, but he joined the Akatsuki labs inc to make some money on the side.

Kisame started out as a marine biologist specializing in shark research, however, seeing these beautiful, innocent creatures get bastardized by Hollywood and pollution made him apply to Akatsuki labs inc to help find solutions to the current crises caused by humanity. During his free time, he volunteers in a dolphin rehabilitation center.

Konan is the cofounder of Akatsuki labs inc, everyone respects her and even looks up to her. Once a brilliant scientist in the field of engineering, she got tired of how male dominated it was and how her male colleagues kept getting the credit for her ideas. She frequently holds lab courses for young girls interested going into the scientific field.

Nagato is the Akatsuki labs founder, and rarely seen in the lab. He has made himself a name in the field of robotics by inventing the Shurado robotics system which helps millions of automated machines run to this day. Rarely seen in the lab, he communicated with his employees via his Pain Alias Email. though to be fair, Konan writes most of these emails for him; she's the only one regularly talking to him face-to-face.

Orochimaru is a geneticist and biochemist, his focus being finding ways to avoid cellular decay, as well as the human genome and anti aging research. His parents are academics as well and he lived up to their expectations to the fullest. He has his own skincare formula which keeps him looking snatched at all times. Given the rumors about several scientific ethical code violations, everyone is kinda scared of him except for his personal lab tech, Kabuto.

Sasori is a renowed mortician who's also very interested in histology. His preparation techniques are unmatched and he even invented new preparation- and histological staining methods, which are called "Red Sand" and "Red Technique", respectively. He often gets into fights with Kakuzu about his microtome collection being unnecessarily expensive.

Tobi is the Akatsuki labs CEO cosplaying as a clueless intern that always steals from the candy bowl in the waiting room. In reality, he has a PHD in physics, his thesis being about rifts in space time and interdimensional interactions, however all of his papers are published under an alias. He has a soft spot for Deidara and refuses to fire him despite the latter's frequent "accidents".

Zetsu is a biological anthropologist fascinated by human evolution and human behavior. Some think even his colleagues are subjects of his studies. Some people say he's two-faced, but he is very chatty and inquisitive most of the time. He volunteered to have Itachi's venus fly traps in his office and can sometimes be seen feeding them dead flies or mosquitoes.

[angelofamegakure]

Konan Headcanon

TW Blood

So this is a half formed one, so feel free to add to this conversation, but I don't think Konan likes blood. Notice how all her victims are covered with her paper. She chooses suffocation over over forms of torture to gain information, or the few times she would create daggers that would cut she has always fought at a distance?

Either she doesn't like blood (which goes in hand with my idea of her having OCD) or she does this to separate herself from death entirely.

The only person you see her really fight up close (memory serving me right) with was Obito, and I genuinely think that was fueled by so much rage she overcame her discomfort.

[obitos-whore]

🪽 Konan headcanon list 🪽

The Ame-orphans as your adopted children headcanons

The Akatsuki members as your boyfriend/girlfriend

Naruto characters as your older sibling (coming soon)

[eevee-d]

Casual Akatsuki Headcanons

Hidan complains about the quality of any hotspring he goes to.

Deidara is neurodivergent and gets chest tightness.

On a group mission, Konan was extremely close to ask everyone to go a mixed gender hot spring. Because she didn't want to be in one alone in the girls side with all the guys in the men one.

Sasori has muscle memory reactions where he scrathes himself. But he isn't itchy, he is wood.

Kisame thought that a group of women were making fun of his looks, when in reality they thought he was hot.

Kakuzu catches himself acting like an old person, and freezes on the spot, eyes wide open.

One time, Itachi accidentally called Deidara "yellow" cause he is blind and distinguishing the other akatsuki by hair color while looking at fights.

Nagato almost wanted to test Hidan's blood connection, to try to heal himself through em.

[ladykissingfish]

Very Random Akatsuki Headcanons

Sasori would 100% have a garden, and most of the stuff he grows would be illegal or highly toxic. He would ask Zetsu for tips a lot and force Deidara to help him weed it even though Deidara will LOUDLY complain about it the whole time. Sasori will gently sing to/ talk to his plants when he thinks no one is looking.

Kisame the type to nag others about how important it is to drink water and stay hydrated but. He has never fully finished one single bottle of water. Any place they are, you can immediately tell that Kisame’s been there because every surface area will have plastic water bottles sitting on it with various levels of water in them.

Hidan has many, many bad teeth, mostly in the back of his mouth. Missing, chipped, cavities or straight rotting. Always in some level of pain but never seeks out help because you know, Lord Jashin encourages personal suffering. Was finally tentacle-held to a chair by Kakuzu and forced to let Sasori do what repair work he could after the others got tired of hearing him curse and grumble all night over his mouth pain. Absolutely loves his new smile afterwards but never admits it.

Every single member of the Akatsuki has at some point had a crush on Konan. Including Zetsu. But it went away once each member started seeing her as a sister or mother figure. The only one it didn’t go away for is Nagato, but he’d never admit his true feelings because he values their friendship and working relationship too much.

Itachi likes to collect rocks. He’s an amateur geologist and enjoys finding different types of stones when he’s out on missions. The others learn this about him and will sometimes take the time after missions or when traveling to pick up “pretty” rocks to bring back to him.

Deidara has a lot of anxiety and restlessness, and keeping himself busy alleviates that. He prefers doing things with his hands which is why he’s always making little sculptures with his clay. If no clay is available he’ll tap or drum his fingers on things or fiddle with his hair. The faster his fingers move it means the more anxious he feels. Sasori would get annoyed by this behavior so he created for Dei what would essentially be a ninja world version of a fidget-spinner. Deidara loved it and he makes sure to pack it with him whenever he leaves on missions.

Nagato’s fingers are often bloody because he’s a nail-biter to the extreme. He’ll chomp those things down right to the quick of the finger. The others will “gift” him gloves to try and prevent this from happening, and it’ll work for while, but sooner or later he’s right back at it again.

Deidara once gained ten pounds in two months because Tobi kept convincing him to stop at sweets cafes while they were out traveling, and then to have seconds and thirds of whatever they were eating.

Kakuzu figured out that Hidan didn’t know how to read when Hidan would avoid looking at the map on missions and kept giving Kakuzu wrong information about sign posts along roads. After a lot of convincing that he wasn’t “making fun of him”, Kakuzu finally got Hidan to let him teach him basic reading and math skills over the course of a year.

When Orochimaru was a part of the Akatsuki, one day he managed to get Konan alone and was hitting on her in a very creepy Jiraiya-esque way. Turns out that he was merely trying to get her to trust him so that, when he ultimately left the Akatsuki, he would be able to convince her to follow so he could study her body and paper-jutsu. Having had no close experiences with women other than Tsunade, who always responded favorably to flirtatious behavior, he’d assumed that this was how ALL women would react. If Itachi hadn’t driven Oro away, Konan would have blindsided and killed him first.

Nagato (in a Pein body) gave the sex talk to Deidara, Hidan and Itachi. All three of them hadn’t the slightest clue about how anything worked in that regard. Sasori gave him diagrams out of his medical books to aid in his talk. Nagato kept having to add on to his talk because of the questions. “What if you’re a guy who likes guys? How does that work?” “What if you don’t like anyone like that, or you don’t want to ever do those kind of things; is that okay?”

In strong sunlight:

Konan burns bright red.

Itachi and Hidan brown.

Zetsu withers.

Nagato dehydrates within two minutes. As does Kisame.

Deidara sprouts freckles.

Sasori smells like a fire.

Obito and his Hashirama cell DNA photosynthesize like a damn tree.

Kakuzu also turns into a freckle-factory but because his skin is already so dark, it’s unnoticeable.

Sasori has fairly moderate misophonia and especially can’t stand the sound of people chewing. It was one of his primary reasons for turning his body into a puppet; so he no longer had to endure the sound of himself eating. He thought he’d died and gone to hell when he found out that Deidara chews food with all three mouths.

Deidara likes Tobi to read to him at night. It gives him a very comfortable sleepy feeling. The more Deidara nods off the more Tobi lets his voice become more natural/Obito. This is pleasant to Obito because doing the “Tobi voice” all day puts a huge strain on his throat, so it’s nice to be able to break character once in a while and speak normally.

Hidan is extremely sensitive to the cold and will do anything to avoid having to travel or do missions in the winter.

Konan has kept a diary of her life ever since she was a child. She picked up the habit of writing during the period when Jiraiya was staying with/watching over her, Nagato and Yahiko.

Deidara developed a hell of a crush on Kakashi after “meeting” and getting his arms blown off by him and the Konoha nin. He’d gush about Kakashi for days afterward … to Tobi. Tobi who had to grit his teeth and not start screaming over how Kakashi unintentionally attracted everyone that Obito was ever interested in.

Best Smelling to Worst Smelling:

Konan

Tobi/Obito

Deidara

Kakuzu

Kisame

Zetsu

Itachi (would be higher but often smells like strong, bitter medicine and night-sweats)

Nagato (his actual body, not a Pein body)

Hidan and Sasori tie for worst because both smell like blood and corpses

Obito never killed his grandmother during the Uchiha massacre. He used a very powerful jutsu to erase her memory and then relocate her to a place in a village far away that took care of the elderly. He pays the facility with the money he earns/steals during missions, and every so often he’ll go and visit her at night, when she’s alone in her room. She doesn’t know who he is and just thinks that he’s a nice young man that’s there because he’s visiting somebody else.

Kisame loves to bake. It started because he was worried over Itachi being so thin and never seeming to want to eat anything other than desserts. So Kisame taught himself how to make cakes and pies and cookies, etc. Over time it became a zen-like activity to him that helps him relax and clear his head when he’s stressed out.

Kakuzu is as vain over his hair as Deidara is over his own. At least once a week they’ll get together and give each other trims and deep conditioning treatments. Sometimes Itachi will join if he feels up to it. Hidan mocks them for this but is secretly trying to grow his hair longer so that he can join them.

[konoha-forbidden-scrolls]

Let's have some headcanons about the Akatsuki and their bath/shower routine! Hidan's hair alone probably takes a while.

Ah, the daily lives of the Akatsuki. I've stuck to the main Akatsuki from the original series. I had waaay too much fun writing these~

Characters: Nagato, Konan, Itachi Uchiha, Kisame Hoshigaki, Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, Hidan, Obito "Tobi" Uchiha, Zetsu (Combined)

Contents: splish splash, bitch, blood (Hidan), wound care

Nagato

Due to the black receiver rods planted in his back and his emaciated form, Nagato's mobility is very limited. I don't think he cares much about the appearance of his true body, since no one but Konan ever sees it.

That being said, it's important for him to stay clean to prevent infections or irritations that might risk his already fragile health.

Whether scar tissue has formed around the receiver rods or if they remain open wounds is unknown, but keeping that area clean and dry would be a high priority.

While his main body is immobile, he can use the Six Paths bodies to care for himself, so he doesn't need to rely on others if he doesn't want to. (Konan would certainly help him if he needed or wanted her to.)

It's probably going to be sponge baths, or potentially a special hot spring pool where he can sit with his legs in the water and let the heat and steam give him some relief.

Konan

The Angel of Amegakure is no hop-in-the-shower scrub down kind of girl. Just look at her. That is a woman that is toned, exfoliated, and moisturised.

She's spending an hour luxuriating in a bubble bath, her head tilted back, candles flickering around her while rain patters atmospherically against the window. The steam carries the scents of the essential oils she sprinkled in the water—jasmine and sandalwood, rose and ylang ylang, depending on her mood.

Her toiletries are top tier. What's the point in being the de facto leader of Amegakure if you can't get your hands on the good stuff? Seriously, her toiletries make Deidara's mouth water.

She likes those little artisanal soaps, especially the ones carved to look like flowers.

Itachi Uchiha

Itachi will take whatever he can get, but his personal preference would be a Japanese-style bath, similar to the ones he would have taken when he lived at home with his family

The kind of set-up where he washes his body in a shower or with the old bucket and ladle, before soaking in a hot bath or hot spring. Basically like an onsen.

I don't think he'd like showers as much—water getting in his eyes and obscuring his vision—especially if he's already having problems with his eyesight.

He wouldn't go for strong-scented toiletries, both as a personal preference and because a good shinobi obfuscates all of an enemy's senses, including smell.

Still, if he can have them, he likes light herbal or tea scents.

Kisame Hoshigaki

Good news! Your shark man can tolerate fresh water as well as saltwater, so he can go take a bath or shower when he starts to get that hot tuna smell after a few days on the road. (He claims it comes from Samehada. It does not.)

Thankfully, by choice Kisame's pretty clean so the worst you'll usually get is a slight briny odour after he's been sweating.

His skin drinks up moisturiser like it's going out of style, so he goes through big tubs of the stuff.

Another dude who doesn't like heavily-scented products. He says it's so he doesn't pollute the waterways, but it's actually because perfumed toiletries irritate his gills.

Deidara

Check out Mr. Herbal Essences over here. Deidara is a shower guy, but don't let that fool you into thinking he's low maintenance. His long-ass hair takes ages to wash. Deidara takes his sweet time massaging shampoo into his scalp. Sometimes he washes it twice.

Then comes the conditioner—Detonator Barbie uses practically an entire bottle of it every time he has to do his hair, making sure every strand is liberally coated.

Followed by a hair mask.

Then he spends ages detangling it with a comb, spritzing it with anti-frizz solution, drying and straightening it.

He always clogs the plughole but claims it's not him.

Yes, he has to brush the teeth on his other mouths and floss the clay out from between his molars.

Sasori

Given that Sasori doesn't actually possess a flesh and blood body anymore, he doesn't need an actual bat, but he does do regular maintenance on his chakra puppets.

Think rag and wood polish, rather than soap and water.

He sands down any rough edges, touches up his paint, and launders his clothes if they've gotten dusty from the road.

Yeah, it's basically that scene from Toy Story 2 when Woody gets fixed up.

Kakuzu

Old man Kakuzu likes baths, and he likes them even more at the various Akatsuki compounds where he's not the one footing the bill for the water or the heating.

Continuing the miserly theme, he won't spend more than a couple ryou on his toiletries. He has the most basic-ass shower gel—the cheap kind that smells like a menthol bitch-slap—and a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.

He looks at what Deidara and Konan spend on their personal care products with disdain.

Although he won't buy luxuries for it, Kakuzu gets pissy if his bathtime routine is interrupted, namely by Hidan getting in there early to spite him or leaving a bloody, hair-gelled mess all over the place.

Since his strings are keeping him young, he doesn't waste money on skincare.

Hidan

Hidan's got no problem being covered in blood and gore, but after a while it starts to get sticky and inconvenient, so he has to wash it off. Some of his Jashinist rituals also call for him to be purified beforehand.

He might not seem like the bath or onsen type but he is from Yugakure, aka the Village Hidden in Hot Water. Boy is from Bathland.

He's not polite from Itachi, so he'll throw himself in all dirty and covered in blood and viscera, and fuck anyone else who has to get in the water after him.

His hair does take a long time. He takes a whole handful of product and spends ages slicking and combing it back to make sure it's perfect.

Gotta look good for Jashin.

Obito "Tobi" Uchiha

He's possibly the most normal when it comes to bathing. Obito has a preference for showers over baths, because they're quick and efficient and he needs the extra time to run all his little schemes.

He absolutely "borrows" toiletries from Deidara, so he smells pretty and his hair is in great condition.

Deidara starts sniffing suspiciously whenever he's around "Tobi".

"Why the fuck do you smell like my cedarwood body wash, you masked asshole!?"

Zetsu (Combined)

I feel like he just mists himself, like a plant in a greenhouse. He just stands there and lets himself be spritzed.

Zetsu doesn't sweatzu.

[axel-tiredstudent]

for my naruto high school au: more relationships maps for akatsuki and taka!

[or0ch1maru]

akatsukis kinks and turn offs?

18+, full blown smut, kinks, and more smut

•

Omg omg omg, I had wayyyy too much fun writing these. Also! If anyone wants a one shot of a specific character with the kinks I’ve listed, pleaseeeeee let me know and I’d be more than happy to write it, especially for Tobi, Hidan, or Zetsu🫶🏻

I feel like Hidan has done everything at least once, and if there’s something he hasn’t done, he’s more than willing to try. This man is KINKY. I imagine his favorites are period play(or anything involving blood), s&m, fucking outside with the thrill of getting caught, knife play, and threesomes. I believe his turn off’s would be the “I don’t use safe words” thing. Hidan is intense when it comes to sex, and he won’t do it with just anybody either. He must have a safe word for his sessions and if you refuse to use one, just know you won’t be getting in his pants.

Kakuzu is similar to Hidan, has done everything at least once and isn’t close minded about trying new things. I know for a fact his tendrils would definitely come into play, whether it’s him tying you up, or toying with your clit. He’s definitely partnered up with Hidan for three ways, and just like him, also requires a safe word. I imagine Kakuzu enjoying a daddy kink as well, would lose his composure the second the word slips from your lips four orgasms in. Big into brat taming, but when it comes to turn off’s, just like with Hidan, if you have the no safe word mindset, he won’t be down.

I’ve mentioned this before but I truly believe Konan is into Shibari. Has a whole collection of ropes, of all different colors too. Mostly pastels; pinks, blue’s, and purple’s. I see her as being a passionate lover, with intense sessions time to time. Loves bringing toys into the bedroom, and her favorite to use on you would be her Hitachi. I can imagine Konan being into impact play as well, using only her hand or her paddle, likes seeing little pink marks on your ass or thighs. Would primarily be the top with you and unless she has stated it otherwise, WILL NOT be down to be topped. She needs absolute trust in her partner before allowing them access to her that way. If you try to top her during sex, it’ll turn her off.

Sessions with Pain can last relatively long, only because he loves to draw it out. Mixing pleasure with pain, but it’s never done to hurt you, wants you to experience pleasure in all aspects. I believe he’s into piercing play, also known as recreational acupuncture, or needle play. Aftercare is a very important thing to Pain, especially with the minor wounds that were inflicted during your session. I think his only turn off would be if you thought aftercare was stupid or unnecessary. Especially the times when he requires aftercare too.

Our sweet explosive loving babe. I feel like Deidara hasn’t experimented much with kinks, and the few he has tried, he wasn’t crazy about. How some people are into riding their partners fingers, you’d be riding his hand. Could cum just from watching you ride the appendage that sits between the lips on his palm. As stated in the show, Deidara isn’t into s&m. I feel like he tried it once but the thought of inflicting pain on his partner was too much for him and visa versa. Even though he loves bombs and explosions, I feel like he’s more of a gentle partner.

I can see Sasori absolutely loving when his partner sits on his face. Is the type to get upset if you don’t sit your entire body weight down on him, would grab hold of your thighs, pulling you down onto him and holding you there. Loves looking up and seeing your eyes rolled back, tears streaming down your face as you continuously cum on his tongue. Bonus points if you end up squirting. Apart from that, I can imagine him using his chakra threads on you, whether it’s holding you still when you start to squirm, or when you start faltering when riding his cock, his threads would help keep you balanced. I don’t think he’s be into food play. Since Sasori doesn’t need to eat like others do, he sees no use for it, in or outside of the bedroom.

Breeding kink, I repeat, BREEDING KINK. With Uchiha’s, they form deep bonds, and love the hardest. So naturally, that would be reflected during sex. Itachi loves filling you up, and then watching as you go about your business throughout the compound full of him. I think he also enjoys when you ride his thighs. If he’s busy working on something at his desk, best believe one hand will be holding your lower back, helping you keep your rhythm. I personally think Itachi’s turn off would be Dacryphilia. Only because he doesn’t like seeing you cry. He strives for his partner’s happiness.

Just like Hidan, I feel like Kisa enjoys period sex. Has a container under his bed full of towels specifically for that time of the month. Apart from that, I imagine he likes choking, Dacryphilia, and rough sex in general. Loves seeing the scratches you leave on his back or the bite marks left on him. When he has you in doggy or bent over any hard surface, best believe his large hand will have a fistful of your hair. Now for turn offs, I don’t think he’d do anything risky where he could get caught. Just like a lot of his comrades, he’s protective over his partner and doesn’t want anyone seeing what’s his. Especially in such a vulnerable state.

Now, you can get either Tobi, or Obito, it truly depends on his mood, or situation. Our sweet gentle Tobi loves seeing his partner in cute little outfits, especially a maid outfit. I see Tobi as more of a sub honestly and if he acts out, and you want to punish him for it, his all time favorite is edging. If you happen to act like a brat, just know Obito won’t hesitate to grip you by the hair and walk you back to your shared room. Rough sex, double penetration, and surprisingly exhibitionism. As long as others don’t see his face/scarring, he will fuck you senseless in front of others/doesn’t care if someone walks in during. Will even hold a conversation with said person while he fucks you. Even when alone, loves fingering you with his gloves on. Tobi wouldn’t want to see you cry, just like Itachi, he doesn’t like seeing his partner upset. With Obito, I don’t think he’d like sensory deprivation. Doesn’t enjoy having any of his senses taken away, wants to be able to hear, and see every reaction he pulls from you.

Just like Tobi, you can get either Black or white Zetsu. All depends on their mood & said situation. White Zetsu loves nothing more than praising you, especially when his cock is buried deep in your throat, with tears threatening to fall, black Zetsu is all for degrading you. Will mush your face into a wall, a desk, the mattress, and take you from behind, whispering dirty words as you take him fully. I also fully believe Zetsu is into having sex outside, and orgasm control/denial. Enjoys hearing you beg to cum, bucking your hips into him or the toy just to get yourself off when you can’t take it. As well as quickie’s. Won’t hesitate to pull you into a bathroom and fuck you silly before walking about like he didn’t do anything. I think his only turn off would be being bitten. For some reason I imagine Zetsu being really sensitive and doesn’t like the blunt pain one can inflict by digging their teeth into him.

•

[cosmic-glow]

A Beach Day with Akatsuki

Summary: how would each of the Akatsuki members be in the cliche anime beach episode.

Warnings: mentions of deaths and alcoholic beverages. SFW.

Characters: Pein; Konan; Tobi; Zetsu; Itachi; Kisame; Deidara; Sasori; Hidan and Kakuzu (from Naruto).

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Kisame

Kisame liked the idea from the beginning.

As soon as he gets to the beach he goes straight to the water.

Likes to surf.

And it's really good at it.

He doesn't wear sunscreen.

He spends practically all day in the water.

He just goes out to pull someone out to sea with him.

Or to buy some ice cream.

He randomly comes out of the water sometimes and brings a very nice shell or rock and gives it to someone.

He tries to pull Itachi out to sea with him just to provoke him.

Kisame would come out of the water in the afternoon to watch the sun go down.

While drinking something refreshing, like coconut water or a drink.

That man was so comfortable.

It upsets him to have to leave the beach.

The next day he is locked in his room, sunburnt.

He doesn't want to go out for  doesn't have to overhear Itachi saying "I told you" for refusing to apply sunscreen.

Still, he really liked his day at the beach and would do it all over again.

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Kakuzu

He didn't want to come.

Like, beach is just a warm place with salt water and sand, what's fun about that? That's what he thinks.

He is really in a bad mood.

He can't even cool off in the sea because he can't swim due to his stitched up body.

He tries to relax sitting in the shade of the parasol while reading a book.

But any noise bothers him.

And a beach with Deidara, Hidan and Tobi is sure to be noisy.

He eventually decides to walk to the edge of the sea away from the group while checking his bingo book.

Was that or kill those three.

In the end, when he is well away from the group he manages to enjoy the beach a little.

He sits near some palm trees.

The waves gently lap at him feet in a relaxing manner.

And finally the silence that he loves so much.

He would only reappear in the group in the evening, when started to cool down.

He is not sad that he has to leave.

And he would never admit that he enjoyed the quiet moments he spent alone.

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Tobi/Obito

Ever since he learned that him be going to the beach he has been extremely anxious.

He is wearing those bathing suits that cover the whole body, like surfers do.

But he doesn't surf.

Yes, he is wearing the mask even on the beach.

Doesn't stop at any moment.

He would go into the sea to jump the waves and end up falling as soon as they took their eyes off him.

Then he would get up as if nothing had happened.

He has been bothering Deidara since they arrived.

"Wow Deidara-senpai, I didn't know your abdomen was so defined" - would be just one of the comments he make to tease the blond.

Tobi is a good boy, so he put sunscreen on the parts that his suit doesn't cover.

Takes too much ice cream and ends up freezing his brain.

He would not want to leave the beach.

Would only do it when it was getting dark.

Definitely a happy child enjoying his day at the beach.

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Hidan

For Akatsuki to be able to go to a beach it would have to be isolated.

And well, I'm saying this because Hidan was responsible for offering Jashin anyone who showed up bothering.

He's a narcissist and made a point of getting a swimsuit that didn't cover too much and value his ass.

At first, he avoids getting into the water because he doesn't want to get his hair wet.

But when he enters the sea it's scary to see how he spends hours underwater since he can't die by drowning.

Enjoys bothering Kakuzu... as usual.

He purposely wets Deidara's hair.

Hidan wasn't worried about sunscreen.

After all, he's immortal, what difference does it make?

What no one knows is that he ended up going through the fear of losing the pale shade he likes so much.

He has who brought the alcohol.

He keeps drinking and bothering others with silly pranks.

Leave the beach at the end of the sunset already drunk.

He found the day at the beach fun.

After all he didn't have to work and spent all day drinking and making fun of the members, why would he complain?

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Zetsu

He likes sunbathe.

Obviously him don't wear sunscreen, because he don't need it.

Would avoid going into the sea because of the salt water.

White Zetsu wants to make a sand castle.

But doesn't work out too well because black Zetsu refuses.

He likes to drink a lot of water.

Zetsu purposely walks away from the group.

He likes to be alone and it is no surprise to anyone.

He finds the sound of the sea very relaxing.

White Zetsu wants to take the little shells he finds home.

Black Zetsu wants to eat the crabs he finds.

At some point he would end up sleeping.

Would only wake up when the sun started to set.

And then finally would return to the group to leave.

White Zetsu really enjoyed the day at the beach and think was relaxing.

Black Zetsu didn't think it was bad, but he wouldn't admit it and would say it was a waste of time.

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Deidara

“Finally a rest day” - that's what he thought, until he saw how Tobi can be even more irritating on the beach.

The beach is a very inspiring place for an artist.

So Deidara is trying not to waste all his explosive clay on Tobi.

He wants to tan, not burn, so he put on sunscreen.

Deidara knows and likes to surf.

And he's annoyed that Kisame is better than him at this.

He was avoiding going into the sea until Hidan wet his hair.

His bathing suit is the prettiest.

This boy has style.

He would retreat at some point to make sand castles without being seen.

Prefer to eat slushies.

Would want to compete with Itachi on something.

And would say he cheated when he lost and walk away from the group.

Collect shells <3

He tries to sunbathe, but Deidara is the kind of person who can't sit still.

So it's useless.

The sunset is art for him, after all it is temporary.

Appears out of nowhere in the group when they are leaving.

At the end of the day he's sulking.

Because the day at the beach was not what he expected.

… But he liked it.

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Itachi

To be honest, he doesn't really like the beach.

Like, he can't deny the place is beautiful, but what is he going to do here?

He ends up sitting in the shade of the parasol watching others have fun.

Most of the shells Kisame brings from the water are for him.

He obviously use  sunscreen.

And brought it, in case anyone forgot.

In fact, the bag with everything needed for a day at the beach is his.

He doesn't really like the idea of ​​going into the sea.

The most he'd do is get his feet wet because it's relaxing.

He's the one who bought Kisame's ice cream while he was getting out of the water.

He's not paying attention to Deidara's taunts.

And he made no effort to beat him.

He likes the sound of the sea.

Take the opportunity to rest for a while.

He ends up getting so relaxed and quiet you could swear he's sleeping sitting up.

Itachi finds the sunset a bit melancholy but beautiful.

Is eager to return to the group's hideout.

The next day he know that Kisame doesn't want to leave his room because he's sunburned.

He didn't think the day at the beach was all bad, but he would have preferred to go somewhere else.

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Pein

Honestly, he only accepted all this because of Konan.

Doesn't like warm places, so the beach is not his favorite place.

He came just to make sure that nothing bad would happened.

He refers to Hidan, Deidara and Tobi in the same place for more than 5 minutes.

And he doesn't want anyone to bother Konan either.

Konan who reminded him to wear sunscreen.

Pain likes to eat watermelon when he is at the beach, is refreshing.

He won't go into the sea, don't even try.

Doesn't like ice cream very much.

He doesn't really like sweets in general, they make him thirsty.

He notices when someone moves away.

Being honest, he is just waiting for the day to end.

He understands why they think sunsets are beautiful, him thought too when he saw how Konan admired the sky.

Pein makes sure that everyone is present as they come back.

Tobi tests his patience by refusing to return "so soon".

He understands that a rest is necessary... But for him it was just a wasted day.

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Konan

She was who gave the idea to go to the beach.

Konan likes to sunbathe, even though she's very pale.

Hoped that this day would be at least a little relaxing for Pain.

Konan would read a book in the shade while listening to the sound of the waves.

Likes to drink refreshing drinks, eat scratch cards, eat watermelon, etc.

She is enjoying the moment.

Would go into the sea to cool off a bit, but she would be quick.

Konan is very stylish, so her bikini makes her look radiant.

She really wants to play in the sand for a while.

But as we know she is shy, and ends up being embarrassed.

Didn't approve of the idea that Hidan could kill anyone who came along.

But her understand why Pein thinks it's necessary.

She loves the different shades that appear in the sky as the sun goes down.

Left the beach a little reluctantly.

She who manages to convince Tobi to leave.

Konan liked her day at the beach but wishes she had enjoyed it more.

 •*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*��¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Sasori

He wonders why he had to come along.

Like, there's nothing for him to enjoy on the beach.

Not that he can't go into the sea, but he's a puppet, the job he'd take to get the water out of his body.

Not to mention that salt water can wear out his body.

Definitely out of the question.

The only problem is that all that sand and hot sun just reminds him more and more of his old village.

He doesn't have a problem with the heat at all, he actually likes it.

He would try to distract himself by looking for pretty rocks.

Kisame would notice and bring some for him.

He'd be so focused on this that he wouldn't realize he'd ended up walking away from the group.

He ended up getting wet when he picked up a rock too close to the sea and a wave came to meet him.

He returns to the group grumpy after that.

Sasori lies down waiting for the sun to dry him and ends up sleeping.

Hidan and Deidara bury him in the sand.

He hasn't seen the sunset and is just grumpy wanting to go back to hiding.

But he is taking the rocks he found with him.

He doesn't want to repeat the experience.

 •*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

Sorry for any typos;

Buy me a coffee?

Masterlist

[nardo-headcanons]

Hi there my dear friend! First of all, congratulations on your tumblr anniversary! And to celebrate, here is another one of my silly requests, I think it is fitting for the season. Of course, feel free to ignore if you wish, zero pressure!

So, how do you think the Akatsuki members would celebrate Halloween? Do they have candy prepared for children? Do they decorate their hideout? Costume parties? Someone cooking pumpkin soup? Whatever you can think about.

Thank you so much for being amazing. Take care!

Big thanks to @the-real-sasuke-uchiha for requesting!!

(also for some reason the gifs don't work, no idea why)

Akatsuki celebrating halloween

Deidara

Deidara isn't huge on celebrating Halloween. As a pyrotechnician and amateur chemist, the only celebration he really looks forward to is new year's eve. He will, however, attend the Akatsuki halloween party and end up drunk as hell.

Hidan

In theory, he could win every single drinking game, since he is essentially immune to alcohol poisoning, but he hates the taste and the feeling of throwing up so much that he has never won a single one. He's the one throwing Halloween parties, his markings serving as an excellent costume.

Itachi Uchiha

Itachi is not a fan of the tacky decorations and jack-o-lanterns Tobi keeps bringing out, but he is the one buying candy every year, generously handing it out to whatever child accidentally stumbling upon the akatsuki hideout. In the cases when there's candy left, which is most of the time, he will also be the one "responsibly getting rid" of them. His sickly appearance also doubles as a built in vampire costume.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu thinks Halloween is a waste of money and typically spends the evening hunting down Tobi for wasting the Akatsuki resources on pumpkins and decorations. Once, a few children spotted him, thinking he was wearing a werewolf costume. Being the frugal man that he is, he makes pumpkin soup and kabocha no nimono out of the pumpkins Tobi keeps buying.

Kisame Hoshigaki

Poor Kisame. In the case of kids actually stopping by for candy, they'll compliment him for his great costume. Over the years, he has learned to accept it as it is. He has contemplated scaring the heck out of them by flashing his teeth and telling him he actually looks like this.

Konan

For Konan, the party is an excellent excuse to drink. She will drink every other Akatsuki member under the table, despite frequent challenges from Deidara and Hidan. She drinks several shots and still keeps a straight face.

Nagato

Pure exhaustion. But he's well aware even criminals need some fun, which is why he lets these parties happen. Besides, Kakuzu's pumpkin soup is really good, better than the IVs he's used to, and sure as hell a lot better than whatever Konan cooks up in the Tschernobyl-like mine field that is the hideout kitchen.

Orochimaru

He was the only one who could actually beat Konan during their drinking battles. That man has a liver of steel. He will also dress up as a vampire for the fun of it.

Sasori

Doesn't give two shits about halloween whatsoever. However, his marionettes serve as interesting decorations and are still used by Tobi, even after his demise.

Tobi

He's going all out with decorations, jack-o-lanterns and costumes. Either as a ghost or a mummy, Tobi has the time of his life. He will sneakily try stealing some candy from Itachi, which will earn him a slap on the fingers.

[angelofamegakure]

// if we are going canon, Konan has likely actually never been intimate with anyone.

Was saving herself for Yahiko but we all know how that went

If we go with my headcannon then she has but only once in her life, she too busy and full of guilt to get it on now

[6blackfilin9]

PAIN - My misery

Megaherz - An Deinem Grab

———

He might have the body and face of a man in his prime, but the eyes of his reveal his true age and experience of the hell he went through

[jellyfishoof]

Random Headcanons of Akatsuki on whether I think they're a drinker or a smoker

𝔓𝔞𝔦𝔫 ~ smoker (mainly)

I would assume that he would be the type to smoke. Now as to what exactly, I see him as the type to hit a bong, maybe even a hookah….maybe tho. I could also see him as someone who drinks, but would only drink a bottle and nothing more than that.

𝔎𝔬𝔫𝔞𝔫 ~ drinker

I see her as the type to mainly intake alcohol. Soft drinks, cocktails, and wine are all alcohol beverages that she would drink. If she wants to be a bit more moderate with her intake of alcohol, she’ll drink a mojito or piña colada. However, when she wants to wash down her stress she’ll gulp down a bottle of Château Lafite Rothschil.

𝔒𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔬 ~ heavy drinker

Alright, I'm sure we all know why :(

Its mainly because of Rin. He fr can't get over her loss. I meannn its the whole reason why some some unfortunate events take place. So to no ones surprise, he would drink to the point of blacking out. Any type of drink will do. Anything that will get him drunk enough to forget a bit about the pain of losing her.

ℑ𝔱𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔦 ~ drinker

I see him as the type to drink sake. And only drinking the finest sake at that. Trying to keep things traditional and shit like that. I guess its the Uchiha in him wanting to maintain tradition by indulging in his culture.

𝔎𝔦𝔰𝔞𝔪𝔢 ~ drinker (sometimes)

He drinks sometimes not often. I feel like he complains about how the alcohol dries up his mouth a lot, so he won't drink as often. He’ll probably only drink when offered. Otherwise, he would prefer water over anything.

𝔎𝔞𝔨𝔲𝔷𝔲 - a little bit of both

Dealing with Hidan all the time, I can see him smoking a blunt and trying to get high enough that he can drown out Hidan’s constant bickering. Same with drinking, he would drink a lot but not to the point of passing out drunk. He still gotta focus on chasing that bag, but wants to do it without dealing with Hidan’s moaning and bitching.

ℌ𝔦𝔡𝔞𝔫 ~ definitely both

Hardcore drinker and smoker. Will for sure drink vodka on a mundane Wednesday afternoon. Does not care when, what or where; he just needs something to stimulate him. And when drinking or smoking isn't enough he’ll resort to cocaine and other measures to be at that right state of mind.

𝔇𝔢𝔦𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔞 ~ both

Being young and all I see him trying to experiment with drugs, though not as hardcore like Hidan. He would stick with smoking and drinking, but would most likely be excessive with it. He for sure would be a pothead and will have a smoking sesh with Pain. I see him as the type to also make his own drinks by mixing random shit.

𝔖𝔞𝔰𝔬𝔯𝔦 ~ neither

He's basically a puppet. And I think its been said that he doesn't eat or drink either for that same reason. Though, if he wasn't a puppet, I would say that he'd be a casual drinker like Konan, possibly even like Kisame in that he'd only drink when offered.

[ladykissingfish]

Coupla Random Akatsuki Headcanons 🤷🏽‍♀️

Many of the Akatsuki members spent so many years camping on the ground or sleeping on floors that beds feel strange and foreign to them. Oftentimes in hotels with beds, a member will wake up in the middle of the night on the floor because at some point in their sleep they got up and moved themselves to a spot more familiar.

Sasori developed a mild case of agoraphobia following the death of his parents. When they passed, the outside world suddenly seemed too big, too bright, too threatening. He preferred to stay indoors as much as he could, reading, and later working on his puppets. When he travels he travels inside Hiroku not so much for protection but because the small, enclosed space puts his mind more at ease.

Along with his eyesight, Itachi has slowly been losing his sense of taste over the years. “You eat with your eyes” is a very true saying, and because of Itachi’s worsening vision, all food looks (and eventually starts to taste) very bland to him.

Deidara takes a ton of vitamins every day because he dreads getting sick. When he’s ill, his hand-mouths become ill as well, meaning coughing and multiple bodily fluids are coming out of every place imaginable. When he does get sick, he’ll quarantine himself until he’s well again because he doesn’t want the others to see him in such a state.

Kakuzu is a secret lover of romance novels, as is Kisame. One will often buy a book, read it, and then lend it to the other to read so that they can talk it over with each other.

Everyone fights over who gets to go on missions with Kakuzu in late fall/winter. His five hearts make him run very warm, so warm that he doesn’t really need his cloak or anything when traveling. He throws off a great deal of warmth and just standing near him is like standing in front of a crackling fire, which feels very pleasant in cold weather.

Kisame didn’t learn how to swim or breathe underwater until he was nearly 20 years old. All his early life he was embarrassed of his half-shark genetics and refused to do or learn anything that would give him away as being more than human.

Konan is somewhat of a germaphobe. She keeps her distance from the other Akatsuki members and when she does have to have close interactions with anyone, afterwards she’ll sanitize and/or “power shower” herself as soon as she’s able. A large part of this has to do with Nagato; his actual body is very frail and his immune system is extremely weak. She’s constantly worried that she’ll unwittingly bring him something that might end up killing him.

Hidan needs to be reminded to eat, a lot. Especially after he’s through with a prayer ritual. When he does eat he prefers lots of meat; he’s somewhat anemic due to all the blood he’s constantly losing and his body seeks out ways to replace his depleted iron.

Although he doesn’t show it, Deidara actually really likes traveling with Tobi. Deidara thinks it’s nice to be around someone who doesn’t (seem to) take life so seriously, and he likes being the “senior partner”, as opposed to his time with Sasori when Deidara was constantly being given orders and “bossed around”.

In nice weather, Konan and Deidara like to fly together (she with her paper wings, him on his birds). Sometimes they race to see who can go faster, although Konan almost always wins due to being more lightweight.

With the exception of Itachi and Sasori (who doesn’t eat anymore), none of the Akatsuki really knows how to cook. They can make simple things like rice balls or porridge, but that’s about it. A great deal of the Akatsuki’s monthly bills comes from eating at inns or buying easy to eat foods at markets.

Zetsu became sensitive to the others complaining about how he smelled like “compost and corpses”, so to compensate, he started to wear cologne. Too much cologne, in fact. So much that the smell was over-powering and made it harder to be around him than before. After a talk with Obito, Zetsu agreed to stop with the sprays and just start showering more often, a compromise the others were happy to accept.

Deidara is hyper-sensitive to the textures of certain foods, and simply refuses to eat anything that doesn’t “feel” right to him. He also has a quirk where, if he’s having a meal with multiple things on a plate, none of those things can be touching each other in the slightest.

Itachi is pretty lauded as being the group’s resident insomniac, but Kakuzu is just as bad (if not worse) than him. They mostly give each other their own space during the long nights awake, but sometimes they’ll spend a couple of hours together talking or reading or going for a long walk (weather permitting).

Sasori has shown every member in the Akatsuki how to put him together should there ever be a situation when Sasori was too incapacitated to do it himself. The only one he hasn’t shared this information with was Hidan, because Sasori doesn’t trust Hidan to put him back incorrectly.

Hidan has extensively studied/looked into the major religions of the country, because he wanted to be sure that Jashinism was the correct one for him. Many years passed and he never found another set of beliefs that suited him like the way of Jashin did.